The were the three Magi with mantels and beards, traveling
on strong camels as far as Bethlehem and having
seen a wondrous star, they began their long journey
by bringing precious gifts, but they warned Joseph and Mary
of Herod's malicious intent...so they fled to Egypt
on a donkey that never complain of a sore hip!
They believed in the Savior as Herod himself full of pride,
and being very wise, they never returned
to tell him what kind of child they had found!
They brought their gifts and knelt at a child
whose fate as foretold was to die for us all,
and he gladly accepted them hearing His Father's call!
Not having heard from the Wise Men who had lied to Him,
Herod sent his soldiers to kill all children under three: screams terrorized Bethlehem;
no, they weren't moved by their mother's painful cry
and shedding their innocent blood they revenged that lie!
O mothers of Bethlehem, Jesus knew that they were slaughtered because of Him!
O mothers of Bethlehem, you wept and moaned as they bled as a sacrificial lamb!
They believed in the Savior from what they had read,
and wanted to see for themselves the glorious event that Daniel spoken of:
the brightest star shining over Bethlehem as angels sang,
announcing Christ's birth in a small town groping on a hill of citrus and clove!
Written on December 16, 2012
‘Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the flat,
Not a creature was stirring, except
the old rat.
There came a great crashing and
in great disarray,
Appeared dear old Santa
In a tatty old sleigh.
The sleigh was quite empty, no
presents in sight.
I asked Saint Nick plainly:
‘It’s Christmas tonight?
‘Why aren’t you stocked up
with games and with toys?
‘You can’t disappoint all those
girls and those boys.’
He sighed and he gave me a
look of despair.
I live at the North Pole, it’s
freezing up there.
‘My heating costs now are
just out of sight,
‘But pay them I must or we’ll
all get frostbite.
‘The elves are on strike for a
rise in their pay,
And they’re holding a sit-in, in
my new Christmas sleigh.
‘They’ve doubled the price of
the poor reindeers’ grub.
‘So that’s why I’ve come, lad,
I’m here for a sub.’
‘You’re having a laugh, or
you’ve picked the wrong house,
I’m as poor,’ I said straight, ‘as
poorest church mouse!’
Saint Nick gave a grin and said I
know that you’re skint.
‘But my cunning plan will make
us two a mint.
‘I know that it’s really not a
hundred per cent cricket,
‘But in your Christmas stocking
is a Lottery ticket.
‘No one will know that we’re on
‘When you get the cash we’ll split
it straight down the middle.’
I opened my mouth to say ‘OK!
When the blasted alarm clock
sounded ‘time to get up’.
I’m wondering now, was it a
dream? Was it for real?
But if Santa does his bit –
I’m up for the deal!
Come on you reindeer, stop
eating those carrots,
I aim to get home and drink my
T’was the night before Christmas
And all through the flat,
Not a creature was stirring –
Just me and my cat.
Then up on the rooftop
There came a big bump,
A rattle, a clatter,
And then a great thump.
Then what to my bleary
Old eyes should appear?
A sledge and beside it,
A troop of reindeer.
Then in rolled a figure,
In a red-and-white suit,
A happy old Santa,
As tight as a newt.
He hiccupped and grinned
Said: “I’m really quite merry,
And so would you be
At your ten-thousandth sherry.
Now if you can help me
To locate my sleigh,
I’ll call up my reindeer
And get on my way.”
I helped the old fellow
Back up to the roof,
Though the smell on his breath
Was 90 per cent - proof.
I managed to get him
Stuck into his sledge,
While the reindeer were happily
Munching my hedge.
He mumbled; “ Oh, sugar!
I’ve mislaid my sack,”
Then giggled and gave
With his whip, a great crack.
“On Dixon! On Nixon!
On Bush! And on Blair!
I’ve forgotten your names
But, I really don’t care.
I vaguely remember
That one of you’s Dancer,
Oh, just giddy up,
If your name rhymes with Chancer.”
I stood and I watched
As they rolled through the sky,
While a chorus of burping
Echoed down from on high.
Then the sleigh faded out,
But I heard the last call:
“Thank heaven for SAT – NAV,
HAPPY CHRISTMAS to all!
A long time ago and far to the west
Lived outlaws and rustlers unlike the rest.
Let me tell you a story you don't often hear
Of how Jerry Jing-Jang saved Christmas one year.
On a cold Christmas eve with the snow drifted deep
Rusty the rustler just couldn't sleep.
Feeling sad for himself as that north wind did blow
'Cause you can't rustle cattle in six feet of snow.
When an idea was hatched by one desperate guy
Of what he might do with reindeer that fly.
Rusty the rustler jumped out of bed
And off to the orphanage that dirty rat sped.
He climbed up to the rooftop and hid in the snow
And waited for Santa and the reindeer to show.
With so many stockings, Santa was busy below
Rusty took the reins and shouted "Let's go!"
Santa's reindeer stood firm refusing to run
So Rusty unhitched them and pulled out his gun.
He told all the reindeer "Now you do as I say,"
He fired a warning and they all ran away.
Then up from the chimney Santa did pop
And saw none of his reindeer on the rooftop.
He sent for the sheriff, who of course was no use
He just said he was sorry the reindeer were loose.
"It's Jerry Jing-Jang you need with his horse and his pup
A cowboy's what's needed to round them all up."
Jerry Jing-Jang was sent for and he arrived right away
To find Santa's reindeer who'd all gone astray.
Dancer and Rudolph very soon were found
By a collie named Roundup with his nose to the ground.
Jerry Jing-Jang was worried 'cause he'd only found two
But Santa had a fine idea just what they could do.
Jerry Jing-Jang rode Rudolph and Santa rode Dancer
Dog and cowboy could find them and for Santa they'd answer.
Riding on reindeer the job didn't take very long
For Rudolph was fast and Dancer was strong.
The reindeer again were soon hitched to the sleigh
And Santa was ready to go on his way.
He gave the cowboy a present, a harmonica to play
When he sat by the fire at the end of the day.
As Santa thanked Jerry Jing-Jang for his help
From the sleigh there came a frightened yelp.
The sheriff had let Rusty get away,
And the outlaw had hidden in Santa's sleigh.
Then Santa laughed "Ho! Ho! Ho!
To the North Pole this fellow must go.
Feeding reindeer takes a man strong and tall
And I am too busy and the elves are too small.
Rusty looked to Jerry Jing-Jang as his face went pale
And the cowboy asked him if he'd prefer a jail.
This is the story that's not often told
Of how a cowboy saved Christmas in days of old.
Christmas is coming, we can see that,
Everything on display at the stores is a fact!
In early October, along with Halloween,
They put all their Christmas stuff - right
So when you go into the store, be careful
who's behind the door?
It could be Santa, or Halloween, perhaps
you might fall on the floor!
Just say; "Trick or Treat" - then - "Merry
And watch someone smack you in the
Happy Christmas in October?
It's enough to send you too pass over!
Carol singing I tried to do,
But the bloody manager just said:
"Who are you?"
I said: "greetings sir, I am the future",
I am the ghost of Christmas nature?"
Be gone he says - I hate the word,
Don't be fooled it's all absurd!
So, my friends, it is official,
Don't forget the crackers and tinsel?
Have fun at Christmas, in December,
Please for my sake - do remember!
Poor Santa is so confused
He says to his elves - he feels so
He gets his letters and his emails -
But all he does is trim his nails!
He's in his Lapland and knows the score
And he will come here right through
He is magic, we all know that,
But he is confused about all our chat!
Why we start so darn early
He needs rest from all our burly.
I kid you not, he's really got a cough,
Cos Christmas starts early, and he's really...
Mommy! Mommy! See the Christmas tree
Shining brightly for the neighborhood to see?
And the logs on the fire are so sparkly.
They make me feel warm and fuzzy.
Did you know tonight is Christmas Eve?
Mommy! Mommy! Watch how the lights
Blink and glitter. They shine so bright.
Used to be I was ‘fraid of the night
But it’s too pretty to feel any fright.
Mommy, what will you open at midnight?
Mommy! Mommy! Listen. They’re singing
And there’s snowmen. And angels. And bells ringing!
I wonder if anyone will come bringing
Any music for us? Any ding-dong-dinging,
And make us happy…our skin tingling?
Mommy! Mommy! What did you say?
Oh, me? What do I want this holiday?
That’s easy. I wan’na laugh, sing and play
With you -n- Sissy. Now, can we pray
That God will send us Daddy on Christmas Day?
I went along to ASDA, one Friday
And there I saw an item – that
I greeted with a sigh,
For, there on a special counter,
for everyone to see,
‘Aunt Bessie’s Christmas Pudding –
buy one get one free,’
‘Best before November’ said the
notice on the label,
So that’s no blooming good – to
grace the Christmas table.
In August while at Blackpool, I
thought I’d buy some rock,
The lady said she’d sold out, but
had Christmas cards in stock.
September saw me thinking, of
daffodils for next year,
I know at our local garden centre –
they quickly disappear.
But I was disappointed, and
saddened by the sights,
For the only bulbs that I could find,
were those for Christmas lights.
When the nights get shorter, Father
Christmas is about,
It may still be October, but from
school the kids are out.
They visit Santa with their parents,
but don’t sit on his knee,
For if they do, he’ll be accused of
being non – PC!
I can tell it is November, when he
jingles on TV
Say: ‘Go to Tesco’s for your gifts,
and have a spending spree.
Penny for the Guy, Sir, and a carol
shall we sing,
‘To save us coming round again –
To give your bell a ring?’
The cards are now arriving,
December in with a burst,
The post is late, hey what’s the date?
I see, it’s just the first.
The folk across the road from us,
think it’s quite exciting,
To deck the house, from roof to
ground, with fancy electric lighting.
On Christmas Eve we needed milk,
so I went into town.
Not a sight of Christmas – all the
lights were down
Not one Christmas pudding, all
mince pies were gone
Just a load of bric – a – brac, and a
big sign saying; ‘Sale now on!
‘But across in one corner – For
everyone to see,
Cadbury’s giant Easter eggs –
buy one, get one free!’.