Let the Deicide commence.
You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.
I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways
Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own personal reality
Rondelet: Yang be evil
for the continuously raped and hidden
minors of India
Yang be evil
Yin acts with rash impunity
Yang be evil
No power controls the Devil
Wombs despoiled in mad enmity
Innocence: raped humanity
Yang be evil
(c) T. Wignesan - Paris, 2012
I do not know?
mama how do i tell you its bad again
how the voices are telling me its okay to hurt
they want me to fall
to fall from the top of buildings
and not get up
but don't worry mama
i plan to shut them up
mama how do i explain how the pain has returned
all you wanted was me to be better
i tried and tried and tried and tried
but in the end, the crazy won
they drive me crazy to no end
i want to make it stop
but don't worry mama
i have a plan
mama i cant tell you how it feels
to be sunken to the depths of earth
angels are soaring above me
but their happy gazes hurt
i need this incessant chatter to go
to hurt me, to hate me
it all feels so real
but don't worry mama
it wont soon
mama i can see the look in your eyes
it hurts me too that this is goodbye
cant you see this is the only way
for the voices to vanish but my body stay
goodbye and farewell
ill miss you so much
but don't cry mama
ill be better now
I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
When is Mum, coming for me?
"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"
I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now
I wish God
Could make my Mum
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!
I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own
A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!
Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm
“What am I going to do?”
“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?
“Is my life worth living?”
Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!
I Knew Someone Who Was Ready to “End It All!”
I knew of someone who just wanted “to end it.”
Giving up on life, and did not want to “defend it.”
It was a heart wrenching and difficult situation.
He said what he wanted to, with no explanation!
I could see his face and the sad look in his eyes!
What he was going to do next, was anyone’s surprise.
He turned to drugs and encountered addictions.
With this brought much disease and afflictions!
He gave up on the wonderful family that was given.
And turned to a pretty wild and crazy way of livin’!
I told him about a God who loves him very deeply.
As he listened, he began to grow restless and weary.
I reached for his hand and began to pray for God’s power!
It was a miracle! The blood of Jesus changed him that hour!
The spirit of God brought healing and hope to his body!
He was so excited! He rushed out to tell everybody!
The “end” that he wanted, seemed to just fade away!
For the son of the living God, changed him this day!
The glory of God, and the power of Jesus’ resurrection…
Changed him! And got him going in a NEW direction!
He’s so thankful for the blood of Christ’ atonement!
And is a different person now, because of that moment!
This same Jesus loves and can do the same for YOU!
Through the problems of life…
He will see you through!
By Jim Pemberton
I do not know?
So many things that go around,
Yet in this crowd there is no sound,
The world seams dead and void inside,
And I can’t seem to run and hide.
I hear her screaming out for help,
She gives a final wounded yelp,
She hits the floor and eyes turn black,
Now she knows she can’t turn back.
Those left behind hide up and die,
No one ever wants to cry,
The tears of blood cause too much pain,
Our poisoned hearts are not the same.
As your body dissolves to ash,
The whole world changes in a flash,
No more happiness for us to share,
No more mother to love and care.
i am kurt daniel everdean
I am 21 years old
I've been playing the bass guitar
Since I was 11
i weight 145 pounds
i have blondish brown hair
and blue eyes
If I could say one thing about me that I like... Its that I never gave up.
things started when i lost my father
i was 10 years old
my mother started going to her room everytime she got home
she would come out with her eyes all red... Shes been crying
until i accidently walked in on her doing drugs
i now believe it was the drugs that caused the redness
me and my brother would fight everynight
when i bought my first bass
he slammed it against the floor
and told me since i think my lifes crap
then i shouldnt have anything that makes me happy
My mom became a street whore
She would dress in a golden gown and wear ugly make up
We would never see her
unless she needed money to get condoms for her "men"
the things between me and my brother got worse
I was arguing with him over a text he sent my mom
And he got into an accident and died that night
Things just never got better
I created a band called the nocturnal
And the reason you haven't heard of us yet
Is because were an underground punk band in Seattle
we haven't gotten far yet
Just underground party's and bars
My mom ended up running away with her "boyfriend"
After my brother died she blamed me
And told me to leave and said she won't come around me
Until I brought him back
Since then I've gotten a job and was able to pay rent on
My moms old apartment
Hoping shed come back clean and sober
As for me
I've cleaned up. but suicide is still an option
I haven't found god yet and I don't want to
If there was a god why did he give me this ****ed up life
Ya you'll say Kurt?... You made the desicions for your life
I knolw I did. But he was the one who let it actually happen
I've been writing since I was 11
Lyrics and poems
Drawings and paintings
bass guitar and vocals
My life isn't over
But it's sure close to it
Its sad to think that what you thought was fake... Is a true story
This is a news story stranger than any other.
It’s about a suicide attempt by a pregnant mother.
She wanted to kill herself and her three children.
The thirty-two year old drove her minivan into the ocean.
Hours before, the woman called her sister.
Police were warned about the mother’s strange behavior.
“Demons infest our house” is what the mother would say.
She took her three children and speedily drove away.
The event happened near the Florida town of Daytona Beach.
Fortunately, there were two brave men within their reach.
Just as the tide was carrying the floating vehicle away,
the men rushed in to rescue the family and save the day.
From a news story found on aol.com
If love is a hunger.Then my heart is
empty.The pains run deeper then
the pacific ocean floor.So many
lovers my heart feels like a revolving
door.I ask my mother to feed me
cause i hunger for her love .She
gave me the left over scraps from
my sisters and brother.barely
enough to stop the pain.I ask my
father to feed me and he only feeds
my mother ,and when he
remembers that I have no love he
says hes fresh out.I asked my
husband to feed me .But he cant
even make food.He gives me a
dinner mint of lust .It disappears as
soon as it touches my
lips.Countless lovers taking from an
already starved heart. The inner
parts of my heart consumed by the
love given but never received.My
heart is just and empty hollow lining
.So empty the hunger pains can
never be felt again.
I do not know?
In my dreams I see her face,
Her smoky presents I almost taste,
Her empty eyes cut to my heart,
Her bloodless hands tear me apart.
She speaks my name with ice blue lips,
Her hollow voice with venom drips,
She grabs my face so I can see,
She is never free of me.
I wake up and I look around,
I hold my breath at any sound,
It felt so real and now I see,
What her passing did to me.
I’ll try to free her lonely sole,
This will be my life time goal,
Then I’ll sleep the whole night through,
And she will rest forever to.