What makes the decision
To flick the switch
To end ones life
For the sake of it
Bullied at school
Fork in the road
To let death rule
Daughters and sons
What ever affects them
They just can't outrun
Sadness and tears
By all left behind
Will they ever understand
Let the Deicide commence.
You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.
I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways
Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own personal reality
Rondelet: Yang be evil
for the continuously raped and hidden
minors of India
Yang be evil
Yin acts with rash impunity
Yang be evil
No power controls the Devil
Wombs despoiled in mad enmity
Innocence: raped humanity
Yang be evil
(c) T. Wignesan - Paris, 2012
I do not know?
mama how do i tell you its bad again
how the voices are telling me its okay to hurt
they want me to fall
to fall from the top of buildings
and not get up
but don't worry mama
i plan to shut them up
mama how do i explain how the pain has returned
all you wanted was me to be better
i tried and tried and tried and tried
but in the end, the crazy won
they drive me crazy to no end
i want to make it stop
but don't worry mama
i have a plan
mama i cant tell you how it feels
to be sunken to the depths of earth
angels are soaring above me
but their happy gazes hurt
i need this incessant chatter to go
to hurt me, to hate me
it all feels so real
but don't worry mama
it wont soon
mama i can see the look in your eyes
it hurts me too that this is goodbye
cant you see this is the only way
for the voices to vanish but my body stay
goodbye and farewell
ill miss you so much
but don't cry mama
ill be better now
I do not know?
Each drop that lay congealing.Hardened pools of hearts blood feeling.Stacked higher to a ceiling which is seemingly without end or sight of this sorrow swelling.I can't stop or staunch the sound of silence so keenly suicidal.Tapestries hung from the seething keening.See this warp and weft of weeping.Broken languidly so looming of a thread cut selfishly assuming.She took Her Life.The selfless one S
he gave to Me,when the Daughter that I am to Her,She who bore and gave to Me.The very same,exactly like in every way,each drop by drop . Lifes very blood I hold in keeping a Thrumming of My Mothers Weeping.Oh Mother Wherefore Art Thou?Dost Thou Hear Thy Childs Lament?In One Fell Strroke You Wasted Time.Every Moment That We Would Spend.The Only Thing of Worth To Me I See In Faded Things.Her Pictures are Like Memories That God Will Never Bring.As Answers Heard on Dead Deaf Ears, a Cacophony of Screams ,are all I ever Hear.Sorrowed Horrors That I Bear, Tolling Woe and Days of This Despair.My Mother Bequeathed to Me the Day She Thought To Teach Me the Only Answer That I Contemplate When I Feel That Lifes Unfair.I Think This Day I'll Take This Gift She Gave To Me When I Was Born.Born Up On My Cold Dead Hands and Show The Way She Truly Taught Me Truly How To Care. A Mothers Gift Of Suicide James Patrick Kail Tuesday November 6th 2012
I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
When is Mum, coming for me?
"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"
I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now
I wish God
Could make my Mum
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!
I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own
A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!
Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm
“What am I going to do?”
“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?
“Is my life worth living?”
Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!
I see a lady walking down the street
Two children in tow, looking so sweet
Looking like the perfect family we know
But they have no place to go
Her lips are bruised, and she has marks on her pretty face
A face so battered, still trying to maintain grace
Walking away from her pain into the vast unknown
Away from the violence and humiliation she has known
Tears stream down her face, while she curses her fate
No one to help her in this land of hate
To feed her children she raises her hands to beg
All the while wishing that she was dead
The children look bewildered, trying to figure out their ordeal
Looking hopefully at their mother, little glances they steal
Trying to gain strength, to face a world full of deceit
But all they see in her eyes is defeat
There isn't a living soul to help you, oh! Mother
People don't care, about you they don't bother
All the world does is make you and your children cry
Even if they could help you, they'd never try
The world watches as you go by
Looking determined, with a glitter in your eyes
As though you have a solution which you will try
I pray that you fight to live, and not try to die
The loud noise of a passing train breaks the silence
I run towards a gathering crowd, and I am stunned by the vision
Three faces, six limbs, scattered guts and blood
Eyes staring into eternity, looking alive though dead
I see a small smile chiseled on your face, oh! Mother
Your children will never face any evil, ever
I have lost direction, my sanity, my health
Seeing you and your children, sleeping in the arms of death
In his eyes I saw curiosity
as he crawled towards his mother's warmth, bold
In his eyes I saw confusion
As she turned her back to him, cold
He was young and clueless
No idea of what his future held
As his mother mumbled on the phone
Gravelly voice, her cigarette smelled
In his eyes I saw rejection
On his knees begging for attention
In his eyes I saw apprehension
Of oncoming sets of his mothers depression
He was taller now
but no strength in his bones
because no nutrients
can come from broken homes
In his eyes I saw fear
of being beat until he’s sleepless
In his eyes I saw shame
of broken bottles, spilling secrets
He wouldn’t bring home friends
cause his walls leaked with whispers
He couldn’t have a girlfriend
Without a place to kiss her
In his eyes I saw resentment
In his eyes I saw anger
In his eyes I saw myself
That’s when I knew he was in danger
I ran to his house
right across my fence
through the front door
tired of suspense
In his hands I saw a gun
In his eyes I saw nothing
And his mother holds her son
She thought he was bluffing
I Knew Someone Who Was Ready to “End It All!”
I knew of someone who just wanted “to end it.”
Giving up on life, and did not want to “defend it.”
It was a heart wrenching and difficult situation.
He said what he wanted to, with no explanation!
I could see his face and the sad look in his eyes!
What he was going to do next, was anyone’s surprise.
He turned to drugs and encountered addictions.
With this brought much disease and afflictions!
He gave up on the wonderful family that was given.
And turned to a pretty wild and crazy way of livin’!
I told him about a God who loves him very deeply.
As he listened, he began to grow restless and weary.
I reached for his hand and began to pray for God’s power!
It was a miracle! The blood of Jesus changed him that hour!
The spirit of God brought healing and hope to his body!
He was so excited! He rushed out to tell everybody!
The “end” that he wanted, seemed to just fade away!
For the son of the living God, changed him this day!
The glory of God, and the power of Jesus’ resurrection…
Changed him! And got him going in a NEW direction!
He’s so thankful for the blood of Christ’ atonement!
And is a different person now, because of that moment!
This same Jesus loves and can do the same for YOU!
Through the problems of life…
He will see you through!
By Jim Pemberton
This is the reason....
We never got along..
And you know that...
We constantly argue and disagree..
You make me feel like im a disappointment..
You made me feel as if i was never good enough..
You never made it seemed it like you actually cared..
I know who you wanted me to be..
we used to not get along..
But now we do..
most of the time..
I know this is not who you want me to be..
I know this is not what you wanted me to do..
But i got no where to go..
You never seem to help..
Dear the rest of the family
I know you are there for me..
But your reactions to what i do...
I just dont think i could deal..
I dont think you could help...
And i know you wouldnt understand..
If i even dare call you that..
If you will care or not...
Even if you will notice...
I know some of you say your here for me..
But you dont understand..
I tried to tell one of you..
You just starred and wanted to tell everyone..
I am a human..
Im no different..
Im not some monster..
So i may be an outcast..
But does that really matter...
If only you could of helped me..
If only you didnt call me the names...
Im sorry for being a disappointment..
Im sorry for letting you down..
So that is why i have decided to leave..
So everyone will be happy..
Have a great life everyone..
I do not know?
So many things that go around,
Yet in this crowd there is no sound,
The world seams dead and void inside,
And I can’t seem to run and hide.
I hear her screaming out for help,
She gives a final wounded yelp,
She hits the floor and eyes turn black,
Now she knows she can’t turn back.
Those left behind hide up and die,
No one ever wants to cry,
The tears of blood cause too much pain,
Our poisoned hearts are not the same.
As your body dissolves to ash,
The whole world changes in a flash,
No more happiness for us to share,
No more mother to love and care.
If love is a hunger.Then my heart is
empty.The pains run deeper then
the pacific ocean floor.So many
lovers my heart feels like a revolving
door.I ask my mother to feed me
cause i hunger for her love .She
gave me the left over scraps from
my sisters and brother.barely
enough to stop the pain.I ask my
father to feed me and he only feeds
my mother ,and when he
remembers that I have no love he
says hes fresh out.I asked my
husband to feed me .But he cant
even make food.He gives me a
dinner mint of lust .It disappears as
soon as it touches my
lips.Countless lovers taking from an
already starved heart. The inner
parts of my heart consumed by the
love given but never received.My
heart is just and empty hollow lining
.So empty the hunger pains can
never be felt again.
This is a news story stranger than any other.
It’s about a suicide attempt by a pregnant mother.
She wanted to kill herself and her three children.
The thirty-two year old drove her minivan into the ocean.
Hours before, the woman called her sister.
Police were warned about the mother’s strange behavior.
“Demons infest our house” is what the mother would say.
She took her three children and speedily drove away.
The event happened near the Florida town of Daytona Beach.
Fortunately, there were two brave men within their reach.
Just as the tide was carrying the floating vehicle away,
the men rushed in to rescue the family and save the day.
From a news story found on aol.com
There's no through road so
with iced courage and steeled breath
She opens each scarlet line,
watching each blank page wave in the wind.
She renounces, orphaning it through self sacrifice and,
through Her crimson puddles,
She sees the barren paths- untrodden-
retreat as the oven scolds the cake inside.
It leeches, and Her skin, the colour of sour milk,
is creaming, each foam washing away the marked gold sand.
It's too late, the clock's already struck and chimed
for the still unborn - stillborn unborn.
Enclosing, the bud swallows the bee,
it's shallow heart fading,
like the bleaching sun drying the caterpillar.
She collapses, clasping, dragging Her burden with Her
I do not know?
Words Words can make you hurt, Words can make you cry. Words can make you laugh,
Words can make you try. Words can change you and Words can make act wrong. Words
can hurt others. But words that hurt are nothing new. Words with action is. Because some
actions can hurt and make pain come. Some actions can make you feel happy and loved.
Some actions can get you down the wrong road. But whatever happens, with words or
actions Remember that friends and people have feelings Try listening to them Friends can
make you laugh when your sad. They can catch you when you fall. No friend lets you die Or
leaves you in a dark corner to cry. Friends are angels from above. They are there for you.
So if their is one thing from this that you remember is should be this, Don't say your my
friend one moment, Then hurt me and leave me to die the next.
I do not know?
In my dreams I see her face,
Her smoky presents I almost taste,
Her empty eyes cut to my heart,
Her bloodless hands tear me apart.
She speaks my name with ice blue lips,
Her hollow voice with venom drips,
She grabs my face so I can see,
She is never free of me.
I wake up and I look around,
I hold my breath at any sound,
It felt so real and now I see,
What her passing did to me.
I’ll try to free her lonely sole,
This will be my life time goal,
Then I’ll sleep the whole night through,
And she will rest forever to.
I do not know?
Sometimes I feel like falling,
Or drowning in the rain,
Sometimes I feel like cutting,
To see her face again.
The Shadows of a darker mind,
Twist, confuse and lie,
I never did understand why she had to die,
I see her face in haunting dreams,
Or looking back at me,
She seems to root me to the ground,
When all I want is to flee.
Her morbid beauty chases me,
Like vulchers around meat,
Her stone cold ear upon my chest,
To cocxe my finel beat,
Amogst this all is one smart ray,
A dimond in the mist,
That hold me close to take away,
The razor at my wrist,
The dark and light confuse my brain,
There never ending war,
Mother I love you and always will,
But James I love you more.
I do not know?
He went to school
but didnt follow the rules
Didnt do what his mother told him to
so everyone called him rude
before he could get expelled
he dropped out
because he knew he failed
couldn't get a job
he could barely spell
so now he is in and out of jail
on the corner selling rocks
stashin money in his socks
on the door his enemy knocks
he fell to the floor
because he'd been shot
couldn't bring back those precious years
couldn't see his reflection in the mirror
his mother couldn't fight back her tears
her only son dying that was her fear
his short life flashed through his head
when he realized how much he'd bled
a few tears he had to shed
for the careless life that he had led
he shreeked out,I dont want to die
his voice got faint, then he started to cry
i promise i'll change', I wont even lie
i wont drink and I wont get high
his mother screamed, please let him live
he didnt know he's just a kid
has she holler's to her son, this cant be it
the ET workers start to rush in
they ran him out on the stretcher
blood still drained from his fracture
the time he had to live, was hard to measure
now he remembers all the lectures
he closed his eyes as they tried to revive him
but they knew he was dead
the loud noise of urgency, turned to silence
and no more was said
THINK about your DESICIONS today
because you might not make it to tomorrow!!!