*GRANDMA WAITS IN THE GARDEN*
Hi, grandpa it's me again!
Your dentures sit in an open glass
Do you remember the tears grandma sang before she passed?
The way she looked into your eyes,
Moments before she said her goodbyes
Grandpa, I found a note from grandma, she doesn't want you to cry.
Hi grandpa, it’s me again!
The rocking chair is old and dusty
Do you remember the way grandma sat me on her lap?
Read many stories before I took a nap
How she enjoyed brushing my hair with her hands
Love the way she rocked me to sleep every night until I grew.
I stored your hearing aid away
Do you remember that special musical box in grandma's drawer?
I opened it last night, to watch the ballerina dance
I wish you could hear the tiny chimes grandma lived in
I hope you don’t mind, I’m keeping grandmothers favorite scarf.
I'm caressing grandma’s picture frame
Do you like the way she looked in that pretty sundress?
Grandpa, I miss the things grandmother did for you
I like the walking stick she handcrafted, the day your needed support
It kept you in balance every time we took long hikes in the woods.
Hello grandpa, it's me again!
Here I sit holding your hand
I have no more tears
Soon you will see grandma
Please tell her hi, and I know you will be there the day I die
Give grandma a kiss, and tell her I miss her
“Well,” She asked; her eyes wide. Beads of hot sweat glistening on her brow like miniature
crystal suns. Her angst was palpable. “What is it!”
The air was still. There were no words. Just the sound of bodies breathing in – and
“Congratulations.” He held out his arms, handing the mother, her baby, “You have a son.”
The moment shone like glass in the center of the heavens – pure and eternal.
It was redemption from every wrong thing she’d ever done.
It was the shining eyes of God smiling onto her exhausted face; lighting it with hope.
It was the only place there was – the only time, the only space.
It was the only feeling that existed.
They were the only two incarnate souls in the room; on the planet, and in the universe.
This was her child –
And she was his mother.
(there are no words for such things. suddenly, I feel like an intruder. there are too many
eyes, words and moments here. so it is here, I take my leave; leaving this mother and the
only soul in her universe to their perfect moment. they will have many more moments in this
lifetime; but none as sacred, as human, or as eternal as the first look from life to life;
mother to child; heaven to earth, as the very first. None.)
“It’s a boy.” she whispered. Her throat a crumbling tunnel; stunned, but not really. Like
she’d known it all along. “My baby boy…” She smiled into his ancient, brand-new face;
tracing his delicate cheek with the back of her finger. “He’s perfect.”
She ran her palm along the bottom of his soft, miraculous foot, and laughed. “Look at
your feet – they’re huge!”
And as she wiped the tears with the heel of her shaking hand – smearing what was left of
her mascara - she looked in to his, as close to heaven as one can get, eyes, and said, “Hi.
I’m your mama.” He smiled at her. He knew. He’d known it all along. “And I’ll love you
The world closed its shades then. Leaving the sacred to its history; the moment to
eternity; and their universe to its quiet, little room.
*Inspired by Deborah's, You Must Have Been A Beautiful Baby, contest; and every mother
who has graced this sacred room.
You made the mistake and now,
your afraid to face this day.
Your thoughts are racing through
You wonder if your family looks at
you as a disgrace, but you'er mother
takes you and reasures, your very
much loved in grace.
Even though your much to young
for this breathing little thing this
You couldn't just throw it out
like it was a peice of trash.
So you grow up and take the
path that led you to your best
mistake for years to come.
Terror seizes you, and it isn't kind.
You try to go somewhere peaceful in your mind.
But the pain rips you right back to here and now.
Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of even saying "ow."
You try to be strong, but he tears from you, a scream.
Oh God, please let this be a terrible, terrible dream.
I thought he was supposed to be a friend of mine?
As the tears grow down my face like vine.
He tells me I wanted it, even though I screamed no.
He says my attitude and outfit told him so.
In the same breath, he threatens me never to tell.
If they ask why the tears, you better say you fell.
As I got out of the car he pulled me to him and hugged me tight.
He kissed my forehead and said Don't worry you'll be all right.
Just remember, if you open your mouth, no one will believe a dirty whore.
Now go inside before I take you for another ride and give you some more.
Into the house and straight into the shower.
I was in there for what felt like hours and hours.
My grandmother knew right from the start.
Please don't tell, it would break Daddy's heart.
Please, Grandma he's not worth Daddy going to jail.
For my sake and his, you can never, ever tell.
She kept her promise and never uttered a word.
At night, she told me, my cries she heard.
For six weeks I kept my secret and told not another soul.
For six weeks I sunk deeper and deeper into a hole.
Not until I heard that he raped a fourteen year old girl.
Knowing I could have prevented it, shattered my world.
I finally told my horror story to the cops and to my Dad.
I don't think I'd ever seen him so violently mad.
Mike was arrested, but in jail he would not stay.
He lived around the corner and we had to move away.
He got probation, but not for me, his word against mine.
I was sixteen, of legal age to consent, so for me he'd get no time.
His punishment, probation for only a couple of years.
Me and his other victim were left with our fears.
Would he find us and take revenge for what he said was a lie?
Would my father hunt him down, and go to prison for a rapist to die?
He got away, pretty much scot-free for his deplorable crime.
His victims were the ones who were serving the time.
This IS a true story, my story, but not my story alone. After 8 years and raping several
other women Mike was sentenced to 35 years in prison. As he pleaded his innocence, we were
all in some way vindicated. He never did a day for brutally raping me, NOT ONE DAMN DAY.
But he's doing plenty now. I hope he gets ALL that he deserves.
God’s Cleansing Tool
Cloud-Concerto… How Cool !
Plop-Plop Plopping into Pothole Pools
On the Grass, Pavements and On My Own-Sweet- Fools…
who, don’t have Sense enough, to get out of the Rain…
… I think I’ll go Join Them… Again
In an effort to immortalize you,
I gilded ocean size frames in gold leaf
and painted your portrait with peacock feathers dipped in oils.
I spelled out your name in bumble bee wings
still quite attached to tame bumble bees
hovering in obedience and formation in the sky
I built a piano from felled red wood trees
and carved your likeness on each key
which I then filled up with ebony and abalone polish
I traveled to Old Russia to the Crimean forest
and pulled every wildflower up by it's roots
and replanted them just for you, on the cliffs, overlooking the Black Sea.
I tamed a black leopard and rode on her back
'round the world, with a banner, a list of your accomplishments
flowing in silk for miles behind me, past onlookers reading your life.
I sang gypsy music, as a siren on the wind
while I wept and flooded each street with the depth
of one tenth of the emotion you harnessed and kept at bay in your infinite quiet.
I started with one person, your granddaughter, with your blue eyes
her sitting on my lap, looking at me with a maturity past 3 years of age,
and imprinted every memory of you in the air, for her to grab.
You are not immortalized in portraits, or wings, or notes.
You are not immortalized in flowers, or banners or sirens.
You are immortalized, forever remaining, in the humble prayers of this innocent child.
My white-washed bars surrounded me -
they held me as I slept;
they soothed me when the days were long,
and mother’s blue-eyes wept.
A baby girl, six months or less,
awakened from my sleep -
stood up legs as sure as hope;
as strong as flat is steep.
My hands, my saviors, gripped the rail
so I could peek outside –
the bluest sky I’d ever seen,
As tall as it was wide;
came into view - between the blue,
an airplane gliding by,
its smoky streamer like a flag,
across my memory’s sky...
The memory is a simple one -
a window, sky, and plane -
but in my heart, it's heaven's door
and there it shall remain.
I’ve hung it on my memory’s wall
Between that life and this –
It covers every hole I’ve dug
In sorrow’s vast abyss.
This picture brings the special peace
I knew when I was small –
Where mother’s just beyond the door,
and waiting for my call…
*Inspired by Danielle's Earliest Memory contest. I have blocked out almost every memory
from my childhood, and only a very few gems remain - this is the first. and I will treasure it
Confetti flutters the sky
A bride dressed in pearly white
Footprints pave bright virgin snow
Steps to her future
I apologize for the aches,
And all the pain,
I apologize for struggle in your
Torturing your veins,
I apologize for the stressful tears,
On account of non-listening ears,
I hear your melancholy weeps,
From a mind that never sleeps,
I know the fake smile you keep,
Will break you suddenly,
I am sorry for the things making you
I am sorry you had to grow up
Even when you shout hate,
I see love in your eyes,
Out of your heart you apologize,
But, this is my apology to you,
For all the things I put you through,
I apologize for the things you never
Just to make us glad,
I apologize for the unpaid bills,
that has you taking headache pills,
I thank you for your vigilance,
But, I can't sit and watch,
The other half is gone,
And you're fighting alone,
Somebody got to be the MAN of the
We can't always sit on the couch,
Mama I appreciate the things you
I thank God for you,
I apologize if my actions never
I Love You,
You bring peace and healing to my
Children she loves
Angels brightly smile on her from above!
Raped and Molestated in childhood,
Abused and Misused in pre-adulthood,
Alone and confused they stood; feeling
like tainted goods.
Let their soul cry, maybe then; they can
regain their pride.
They gotta let their soul cry
Their darkest secret's they lock away
within, this is why their flesh constantly
feast off sin; and everything in life has a
beginning, but never render an ending.
Let their soul cry, Crying is the only way to
gain their piece of mind.
One might ask," Why"? Then , I will reply,"
They need to see at least one day filled with
promise rather than pain and see the sun
without having rain.
They gotta let their soul cry, before their sin
cause their flesh to die.
Mama and Daddy was always Love-Dovey
She is His Sweetheart – He is Her Honey
First Love… Real Love - Forever True
Pa… I Pray to find A Man Like You…
Daddy Laughed and Put His Arm Round My Shoulder
And Said, “I’ll Tell You Somethin’, Now You’re Older
It’s got to do with Your Mother’s Fame
And Why I gave Her, The Nickname…
… Boot-Legged Mama
Blue-jean Shorts and Vintage Tony Lama
Walked thru the Door… of A Liquor Store
… Packaged so Pretty… Pa Just had to Pour
… Boot-Legged Mama
Ma… Was there, to get 6-packs for A Party…
Pa… Was there, ‘cause of a Taste for Bacardi
He took One Look and Knew He Couldn’t Waste Her
Pa… Gave-up ‘Drank’… Just so He Could Chase her !
Dad, Said, ‘He’d Drowned in Dark-Eyes and Sweet-Aroma
Fine-Wine, Crystal… But Tuff’ Nuff’ to Down-Drama
Pa Claims, Mama’s Labeled by the F.D.A.
And Listed on Her Driver’s License is, A.K.A. …
… Boot-Legged Mama
Genuine Woman, Who Made Him Wanna’
Take Her to be His Lawful Moonshine
… Married at Midnight – ‘cross The County-Line
… Boot-Legged Mama
Alcohol’s in Trauma; and Prohibition Told Her:
"Boot-Legged Mama… Done Drove Pa Sober !"
Now, Homemade-Hooch… is His Acquired Taste
180 Proof… Kicked All Over His Case !
Right Then, Mama Flowed into The Room
Pa, Teased and Said, “Still Full-Bodied and Perfumed !
Ma Hugged Us, then Handed Me – Old Boots and A Dress…
(and good advice)… “Go Git’ My Elliot Ness…
… and be a Boot-Legged Mama!
( Hey !... Did I Hear Somebody, In A Country Drawl ….
Order Up A Bottle of Kicking Alcohol !
Well, Here She Is… Y'all ! ...
Boot-Legged Mama ….
Well John (Moses) Freeman... You Said You Needed
Somethin' :) to Read tonight, before kicking up your
heels... Well, Here It Is (Have Fun - Son)
(Thank You For All Your Wonderful Comments
Now, I Can't Get Thru The Door for My Ego.. (Smile)
Where have you gone Sweet Mother Of Mine
To that Wonderful Sparkling City
Paved with Golden Streets
And Pearly Gates
Where You'll Shed No More Tears
And have No Fears
Oh' Sweet Mother Of Mine
Thru brilliant stars Your soul did fly
Across that Heavenly sky
To join the Heavenly Host of Angelical Beings
In search of that Ivory Coast
To plant Your Spiritual Feet
With Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour
Oh' Sweet Mother Of Mine
To visit with Loved Ones
Who've gone Home before You
Must be a Sweet Reunion Indeed
Just a few short days and I shall join You
From the Cradle to the Grave
Oh' Sweet Mother Of Mine
Greet the little King,
who has been born in a cold manger
on the holiest of nights;
and by the glitter of a descending star,
He will spread peace in the land...
follow the shepherds and find that sight!
My gift to Him is my joyful song,
and with this clarinet I will usher in His coming...
walk side by side with the pretty angels and rejoice;
bring Him your gift, and surround Him with joy!
See the three Magi arriving on jewel-draped camels,
holding in their laps the gifts of His destiny.
A winter's night has always been completely bright,
every hill is hidden by darkness, but an heavenly light
appears across the frosty sky of Bethlehem, while divine
voices announce Emmanuel's glorious birth,
everyone wakes up and sees that star and follows it;
and where it stops, they find a baby without a crown.
Greet the Son of the Highest, the Wonderful Redeemer,
whom the Virgin Mary has borne in the humblest of places...
in the small town without a temple, or a palace for the Emperor,
where Mary and Joseph will train their child in Godly ways;
greet the little king, He will smile and invite you in,
and His smile will spread peace beyond the star-lit hill.
Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci
Mothers are truly God’s gift to the world and really for us
Oh, they will put things out, even a fuss with a simple touch
The essence of their being prevents us from being in a rush
Hear their words of wisdom and one will learn very much
Even as drivers they shift gears without scraping the clutch
Resting a child’s head, they simmer a cry with such a hush
Saving grace, loving us dearly like a hand with a royal flush
A person who feels about others
And speaks on their circumstances
And offers a better suggesions
To improve the damped system
To add fundamentalistic solutions
To delete opportunism aspects
To develop everyone’s share
To approach everyone’s contribution
To maintain progress and prosperity
To build a civil agenda to enjoy
Without any prejudice barrier
For our human dignity and regard
To differenciate humanism and animalism
To learn about patience and respect
To discuss a topic of learning
A natural behaviour and sophisticated
Developing approaches at same time
To recover the positive and negativeness
To establish distinctions of values
To identify a usefull and useless motives
To live with peace and satisfaction
To encourage further preparations
To secure and safe future
For beyond from newborn buddies
To provide good tools to develop
To understand a constructive problems
To dissolve wastage of recycling
To save extra energy for dangers
To refine pregressive thoughts
To share his doubts and gains
For a better carriage
Is known as a political person?
How do you feel to listen others?
Satisfaction is a matter for all.
today, I die.
Don't Cry, this is the way it is. Don't cry, it's ok.
I'm ready. it's so different, when you know you have to go. everything seems so...so pointless. All I ever stressed about, thought about, and cried about, gone. All I can think about is what lies ahead. In a moment I'll begin my journey into an eternal world. Where my past decisions guide me to my destination. What will heaven be like? Will I get to Heaven? A couple of minutes all I could think about was my mother. How dare she do what she did! A couple of minutes ago, all I could think about was how long before I moved away. How quick that has all changed. My anger brought my actions. and now I lay, I lay here...hopeless. Don't cry. I know I made my mark. And I'll always remain, in your hearts......I sat there in church, in front of a coffin, a man. Stitched lips and powdered face. I saw what death brought, and felt nothing. I sat, watching, staring, as some mourned. Not me. I sat there watching, gazing. Around me, someone was sad, not because of death, but because she lost her cell phone. In front of me lay death, and around me, no one cared. Will I matter. will people lose their cell phones at my funeral. Mother: I'm sorry. I know for 16 years you've done your best. Mother I'm sorry, I want you to know. I did notice all the things you did for me. You'd give yourself to not lose me. A working woman, a mother of three. I noticed. I love you mom, don't cry. dad. you weren't there much, most of my life. its ok. I know that if you could, you would. dad, don't cry. I hold no grudges. for all of you that I talked to, for mom, for dad, for my sisters, and for YOU, don't cry. i have to go now. God.. I'm ready. I'm sorry, I know I messed up...but I was good. Today...I die. it's ok. I'm ready. My whole body...It's warm, a sensation, a tingle, a swarm. now.. I die its ok don't cry, I’m ready.
Mom I promised you I would do my best to help my brothers and sisters pass
life's test to remember how you were before you were laid to rest.
Mom I`m finding it really hard to do, my brothers don`t talk to each other they`re
playing a fool, my sisters can`t stop crying for you.
Mom I fill no matter what I do it`s not right, try finding peace in this family fight only
to find I did nothing by the end of night.
Mom I remember our last talk, you said no matter what you would be by while I
take this walk, mom I need your strength for my life they mock.
Mom I told you I`d be fine, that I was not blind, that at the end of this road peace I
Mom I fill I`m not the one, all this stress I`m not having fun`m stepping up while
the others run.
Mom I told you I promise, but it`s my family that suffers and it`s them I miss, so I
ask you please help me through this.
Mom I am doing what I said I would, while the others fail to do what they should,
Mom I did the best I could.
Mom,.... how come,.... you chose me to be the one?
There's a little history to this particular poem. I know I wrote it when I was 11 or 12 years old. I wrote it for my Grandma Dorabel, who is today 90 years old. I also wrote it for my uncle John who had been taking care of her at the time; I didn't want to leave him out so I put on the letter: For Grandma Dee and Uncle John! I wrote this short little poem along with a drawing of a cat and some flowers. However, I actually never sent the picture to her! My parents and I must have forgotten to send! To me that was unacceptable! I thought to myself today when I found the picture, I must send it now! The picture is now on its way to her, so I am happy she will at last receive it.
You can send me a bouquet of flowers,
You can order me a box of chocolates,
You can buy me a fancy outfit,
But flowers don't last,
Chocolates eventually disappear,
Outfits get out of style,
Yet Love never fades,
And it's the most precious gift of all
I see her pale white flowing gown,
her imagery, her frown,
her silver thinning hair,
her paper like wrinkled skin.
Feeling quite frightful,
but no overtaking fear,
of this vision floating through the air,
and not going in to despair.
Trying to awaken my consciousness,
for I must be comatosed,
surely I am not in the living world,
my head must be in the cloud's.
I wake up in a sweat,
not knowing what has just happened,
it all seems so surreal,
do I stand in judgement or appeal.
Piecing together my thought processes,
was it a dream or a reality,
wishing, thinking of my grandmother looking ocer me,
sending me a sense of peace and calm.
I will stay with that thought,
that beautiful vision,
of my grandmothers mission,
to deliver peace and harmony to a muddled head.
A special person in are lives
The Old Salt was a special man who came along in a time
when he was needed most.
A time that is now gone forever.
When men believed and sacrificed, when hero’s walked the earth in mass.
When patriotism was not just a word
by what men lived and judged the worth of each,
a man who lived a life most of us cannot comprehend.
An era now gone as this warriors tour of duty ends at this station,
and begins anew in the heavenly fleet.
Sail on Sailor into your unaccompanied tour,
we salute you.
What greater honor, that when a man moves forward,
he leaves behind in each of us the best of what he was.
A defender, protector, supporter, victor, a warrior,
the last of the breed from an era when ships were made of wood
and men were made of steel.
The Old Salt has reported for duty that takes him away from us for now.
Those of us who remain behind,
remember, and will continue to remember,
because he now resides forever in our hearts.
As I look up at night, I envision The Old Salt,
a beret draped just above the eye,
as he draws upon his pipe,
quietly he waits.
The guardian of heaven’s gate.
Little doll with curly hair, how did God
Make you so fair? With big eyes color sky
And with skin as rose as a healthy child...
Fall asleep as you hear my sweetest lullaby!
The radiant moon has come into your dreams,
What can she offer you: if not moonbeams?
And as you breathe, you resemble a cherub
That Rafael imagined to be you in that crib
When happy angels gathered and whispered,
" Little doll, gently lay on your golden head."
This nursery rhyme you will learn in time,
And sing it to yourself when church bells chime.
You'll long for a hand to caress your cheeks...
feeling its warmth while you will float on dreams.
Mother dear, I recall the many worry lines upon thy dear face.
Oh, that if time I could reverse and them from thy face erase!
Forgive me Mother dear if I caused you any undue despair.
Forgive me Mother dear if I etched my share of them there!
You struggled to see your family through the Great Depression.
To see to the needs of your family was thy sole obsession.
You saw us through sickness and health - to that I can avow.
I know that this alone carved worry lines upon thy brow.
In my feckless youthfulness, too many times I let you down.
I saw disappointment on thy face and thy disapproving frown.
If only I had the power to turn back the clock and erase,
Those worry lines that I caused to crease thy noble face.
I rue the many times that I gave you unnecessary sass.
Those hurtful words from my mouth were so terribly crass.
It gives me peace to know God erased those worry lines from your brow,
When He welcomed you Home where you rest at peace with Him now!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 4 in Paula Swanson's "Line" Contest - September 2010
I pray for mother
You could have stayed
Forever was my longing
Does it really have to be you?
Mothers are too special to lose
You gave me life mother
You raised me into a man I am today
I will forever be grateful to you
Out of nothing, you gave me food
Out of nothing, you clothed me
Out of nothing, you sent me to school
You were the best
In your shadow I had shade
You called me Father.
For I carried grandfather’s name
Now I understand how special I was to you
You felt grandfather in me
Who will ever call me that again?
I forbid my thoughts to go deep
For the deeper it goes, the deeper it hurts
I can still hear your voice mother
I can still see you in my dreams
You left without saying good-bye,
Were you mad at me mother?
Deep in my heart, you will always have a home
My sisters and brothers are heartbroken
They are all grown up
But they still need you Mother
Do you still remember your grandchildren?
The youngest is not yet a year old
She will never see your beautiful smile mother
You could have waited
So she does something for you
Fetch water or call you grandmother
We all miss you mother
It’s hard to know you are never coming back
One after another
We will join you mother
We are not afraid of death any more
For we have a place with you
God almighty will meet us someday
Then I will see you for myself again
We will talk and laugh
Just like we used too
Now you live in a far away land
We can’t change that, not even God almighty
I will teach my heart to live without you mother
Though it is hard
I will learn to miss you
I will learn to live without you
But I will never forget you
It’s the body I will never see
Your time is gone Mother
Now you live in a new world
There you will never grow old
There you will never die
I have peace in my heart
For I am reconciled by God’s mercy
My father in heaven comforted me
Now I know you are happy there
The pain I felt
The pain that tortured me
Will never torment me again
You departed with all my tears
With all my strength
With all my hope
And with all my faith
But God gave me a thousand reasons to smile
In am now back on track
Rest in peace dear mother,
It was the will of God
Who am I to question him?
I never did when you were given to me
And somehow I knew this day will come
Let his name be exalted
We meet again Mother
This I know.
Started off so small
Growing so tall
Put Smiles on my face
In my head its Amazing
Hoping you won't be a static
Changing in every great way
Its because my princess growing into
My queen you give me hope
Dignity and self efficiency you
will be someone Great I owe
it to GOD he gave me a princess
growing into A queen
You are my light shining when
I'm in the dark
You make me not
want a father not need one
I got you my princess
Growing into A queen
I'm going to raise you right
Tell you everyday how beautiful
You don't need to hear it from a
You are my princess growing
Into a queen thanking you for
Giving me hope and pride to
What would I do if
I lost you, God forbid
that come true
Your my life when
there is no hope
You give me strength when
There is no time
Princess don't worry you won't
Lose me to drugs,prostitution
Addiction and Eviction
I'm here to stay
Because my princess
Growing into a Queen
I will make Great decisions
Mianna you are my Princess
Growing Into A Queen
I do not know?
(for the countless women, names unknown, who bore the brunt of Apartheid, and who fought the racist system at great cost to themselves and their families, and for my mother, Zubeida Moolla)
Pregnant, your husband on the run,
your daughter, a child, a few years old,
they hauled you in, these brutish men,
into the bowels of Apartheid's racist hell.
They wanted information, you gave them nothing,
these savage men, who skin happened to be lighter,
and white was right in South Africa back then,
but, you did not cower, you stood resolute,
you, my mother, faced them down, their power,
their 'racial superiority', their taunts, their threats.
You, my mother, would not, could not break,
You stood firm, you stood tall.
You, like the countless mothers did not break, did not fall.
You told me many things, of the pains, the struggles,
the scraping for scraps, the desolation of separation
from your beloved Tasneem and your beloved Azad,
my elder sister and brother, whom I could not grow
up with, your beloved children separated by time, by place,
by monstrous Apartheid, by brutish men,
whose skin just happened to be lighter.
You told me many things, as I grew older,
of the years in exile, of the winters that grew ever colder.
You were a fighter, for a just cause,
like countless other South African women,
you sacrificed much, you suffered the pangs,
of memories that cut into your bone, your marrow,
you resisted a system, an ideology, brutal and callous and narrow.
Yes, you lived to see freedom arrive, yet you suffered still,
a family torn apart, and struggling to rebuild a life,
all the while, nursing a void, that nothing could ever fill.
I salute you, mother, as I salute the nameless mothers,
the countless sisters, daughters, women of this land,
who fought, sacrificing it all for taking a moral stand.
I salute you, my mother, and though you have passed,
your body interred in your beloved South African soil,
you shall remain, within me, an ever-present reminder,
of the cost of freedom, the struggles, the hunger, the toil.
I salute you!
(for the brave women of South Africa, of all colours,
who fought against racial discrimination and Apartheid)
I used to walk in dark places and know that I was safe.
Because I knew that I loved you.
I have abused my brothers and sisters.
I have contaminated your purity with murder.
I have raped your daughters.
I have kidnapped your children.
I have brought your blessed bosom to the brink of destruction.
And now, even when I walk in daylight I do not feel safe.
For now I am aware of what I have been to you.
Worse than a prodigal, I have endeavored to exploit the very mother who nurtures me.
And now that I have worsened whatever imbalance was in you before I arrived,
I endeavor to flee you like a coward through the grace of an oblivious savior.
I have dreamed a dream of water.
I have dreamed a dream of living water.
And in this dream Jesus, my Savior, told me that he was not oblivious.
And in this dream Jesus told me that he was fully aware of my crimes against you.
I have dreamed a dream of fire.
I have dreamed a dream of unquenchable fire.
And in this dream Jesus reminded me that I was sent here to heal you as you taught me of manhood.
And in this dream Jesus told me that if I could not love you, my mother, who I could see, then how could I love my Father in heaven who I could not.
I have dreamed a dream of air.
I have dreamed a dream of whirlwinds.
And in this dream I breathed in the breath of forgiveness and I realized that it was not too late for us.
I have dreamed a dream of earth.
And in this dream, Mother Earth, I see you and us together, fighting for our freedom.
Fighting against the delusion that our fates are not eternally intertwined.
Please forgive us.
For true, we have betrayed you.
But it is not too late.
I promise you that as sure as my savior is in heaven we are going to make it.
I present myself to you as a living witness.
The Lord has not forsaken us.
For within our DNA is the secret to your healing and the end of our insanity.
Thank you for loving and protecting me, even as I raped and wounded you.
And now it is my turn.
“In the name of Jesus, the earth and all of the earth’s inhabitants are one mind, heart, and body. In the name of Jesus, we are one person, one planet, and one purpose. In the name of Jesus, the lion will soon lay down with the lamb and this beautiful sound, this sound of the sacred Gaia will know harmony!!”
She went up to heaven, holding the angel’s hand
My great grandma Hajia
Died and went to heaven
She is watching over me
With the weariness of
A mother hen watching
Her newly hatched chicks
She likes it up there
She is having fun
With all the people there
She misses the people she
Left behind that day
In the room
The angels took away
Something I treasure so much
We miss her
I miss her
I will always love her
She went up to heaven
Holding the angels hands.
I'm dreaming with mother
I'm dancing with father
i'm laughing with brother
i'm dressing up with sister
i'm sitting in grandfather's lap
i'm talking to grandmother
i'm singing with auntie
i'm helping unlce
i'm dressing cousin
One by one
Two and two
Three to four
There is no war,that can tear me from you
Five by five
Six and six
Seven to eight
This was the last memory I have of you all.Catch me,free me,bring me back to life,watch over me,and set peace over my head.
Nine by nine
Ten and ten
Eleven to twelve
What more could I'll tell you? Did you not hear the words that came from my mouth as I ran toward you?
One by two
Three and four
Five to six
Catch me when I fall.
Free me from my chains.
Bring me back to life and away from the grave.
Watch over me while I walk through this valley of the ignorant and dead.
Set the peace over my head,that i may control what fury I carry inside.
Seven by eight
Nine and ten
Should we use are words and speak and use are actions and break one another? What reason could we show if we lose part in memories that were so perfect and harmless.
Just how many times must i say it again?
I'm dreaming with mother
I'm dancing with father
i'm laughing with brother
i'm dressing up with sister
i'm sitting in grandfather's lap
i'm talking to grandmother
i'm singing with auntie
i'm helping unlce
i'm dressing cousin
What a peaceful exist this is and should always be.