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Mother Pain Poems | Mother Poems About Pain

These Mother Pain poems are examples of Mother poems about Pain. These are the best examples of Mother Pain poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Rhyme | |

A Mother's Heart

A Mother's Heart

She brought this babe
Into this world with such care,
A life full of hope and dreams
Nothing will happen to him...nothing would dare.
She sends him to school
And days filled with little league,
Never a thought he would
One day leave dressed in fatigues.
That day came too soon
A day covered in clouds,
Kissing him goodbye 
Knowing he would make her proud.
Her son fought for his beliefs
For the red, white, and blue,
For independence and justice
Freedom for his mother and for you.
There is nothing more wrenching
Then that of a mothers cry,
For the loss of her child
And the call saying her son has died.
You see I can not understand
I can not say its okay,
All I can do now 
Is kneel down and pray.
"Dear God
I know you have taken him
And made him strong once more,
But I miss him so terribly
All the way to my core.
There is no way to describe
This pain which fills my soul,
Could you not take me too
Release me from this black hole."
Her son fought for his beliefs
For the red, white, and blue,
For independence and justice
Freedom for his mother and for you.
Can you even for a moment
Imagine the ripping apart,
The pain and agony of
A mother's heart.
2004
Edie Hendrikse


Details | Heroic Couplets | |

Stronger Than She Thinks.....

She is a loving mother, 
 her pain is like no other.
Kids taken all at once away.
 A price too steep to have to pay.

Holds her head up high, 
 when all she wants to do is die.
She thinks her pain is masked, 
 but as you see, its no easy task.

She's strong and still fights, 
 even when they say she has no rights.
She dreams of seeing her kids, 
 trying hard to keep the pain hid.

She goes to court and really fights, 
 only to come home alone and cry at night.
Still, she continues this uphill battle.
 Her confidence, they constantly rattle.

Goes to work and tries to smile, 
 as her heart is breaking all the while.
Wish I was a much better sister, 
 who called and let her know I missed her.

I had my own tumultuous issues, 
 it was she who really needed the tissues.
I just had a crappy, low life man.
 By her side her family should stand.

Instead they all give her grief.
 Do they not see her pain will never be brief?
No, they all say they are sorry, but they're full of lies.
 Didn't they know it was her LIFE in demise?

A better sister, I'll try to be.
 Her back she never turned to me.
I hope she knows she's loved and cared for.
 Her smile I'd like to see more.

I know that's no easy task.
 But that I will still ask.
As they push her to the brink,
 She's stronger than she ever thinks.




A combined effort for Kristy.....


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Other Mom

I was laying on the beach
On a hot August morn
A sudden pain in my gut
I knew that something was wrong
It's Eddie.  I felt it so strong
I Picked up my cell and I called
The emotional pain of it all
My body curled up in a ball
I sat up again to be sure, 
the solar plexus was sore
Why to I question these signs
I know that there isn't a cure
For the feelings I want to ignore
He never answered the phone
I packed up my stuff and went home
I worried all day and all night
The sunrise brought more than just light
The loud banging began at the door
I peeked through the blinds to be sure
There were cops all over the street
Guns drawn made the picture complete
I opened the door full of fear
Oh my God!  Why are they here?
My heart dropped, I wanted to hide
When he said "Sgt. White, homicide."
Is your son home he wanted to know
With his foot in the door I said no
Do you mind if we just have a look
And I backed up after biting the hook
They swarmed through the house 
Guns up in the air
Upstairs to his room
They looked everywhere
My solar plexus was right
I'm glad I came home last night
But where did he go?  I needed to know
His innocence still in my sight
The officer said have a seat
Let's talk about where he could be
A boy was found dead in the street
A witness put Ed at the scene
Don't worry he said as I pulled my robe tight
Your son was a victim of robbery last night
I know he's afraid to come out in the light
I didn't believe him.  But I knew he was right.
My son was afraid and now I knew why
He took someone's life who's mother will cry
He was just seventeen a year younger than Ed
Why do these kids seem to be so misled?

What happened that night is a mom's biggest fear
A child was lost in the drug war I hear
The exchange in the alley of weed for the cash
Was a set up to rob him of all  that he had
When the kid put a gun against my son's head
Said 'empty your pockets' or soon you'll be dead
He had no idea that the pocket was packed
With a 38 special protecting the cash
The rest of story is packed in a box
The panic, the fear, the action, the shock
He emptied the gun and ran for his life
While Nicholas bled on the pavement that night
My heart cries to God asking why must I be
The mom of the kid who killed her baby
I cry for her loss as if it were mine
I beg her forgiveness, and I offer her mine.
You don't want to be either one of these moms
Our children at risk, a sign of the times
God please shine Your light on this good Earth today
We're all human beings who've just lost our way.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dry Your Tears

Dry your tears, clear your eyes
Ease your pain with mournful sighs
Soon the grief will fade away,
When you hear what i have to say.

I don't mean to pry
In your business or life,
But i don't like it when you cry...
I want to know what is wrong in your life!

Don't shed away
Tell me what's wrong
And everything will be okay,
No matter what you say.

Everybody has problems,
And everyone has pain,
If you don't deal with them,
You'll have nothing to gain.

Dry your tears, clear your eyes
Ease your pain with mournful sighs'
Soon the grief will fade away......
When you hear what i have to say!


Details | Rhyme | |

Angels Cry

She was at her window listening to the rain
Mind just wandering, immersed in pain
She was wondering if it was true that angels cry
Each time they see a child die

They took some tests but it was too late
It was in an area they couldn't operate
She smiled at him and hid her fear
They said at most another year

How much pain can a mother endure?
To look at her son and know there is no cure
There are no words that can even start
To soothe the pain in her broken heart

The days and nights went quickly past
The time had come he would breathe his last
Her faith was put to the supreme test
The day she laid her child to rest

She is alone and prays each day
The memory will forever stay
Sometimes in her prayers she just asks why
And she wonders if the angels cry.


           From the book Voices of Hope.. Thank you Crystal.


Details | Rhyme | |

This poem is my own recovery from Valium O Little White Tablet

‘0 LITTLE WHITE TABLET’

O little white tablet, how I hate you,
I was only 21 years old, when introduced to you.
You looked so innocent, so white, so pure.
I was told you were the answer to everything,
(The cure)
No-one told me, when they introduced me to 
the rest of your family, the yellow and the blue.
The blue being five times stronger than you.
No-one told me of the dangers you held within.
Of all the pain I would have to go through, all the suffering.
No-one told me. YOU would rob me, of eighteen 
years of my life.
That I would be unable to function properly,
as a Mother and Wife.
No-one told me, I would get addicted to you.
Of all the pain and suffering, I would
have to go through.
To get you out of my system, alone took two years. 
Two more years of heartbreak, many, many tears.
Then to find out, I had Agoraphobia.
Several more years, destroyed by fear.
Which a lot of people, say is caused by you.
Not being able to go out, far or near.
Hurting all the ones, I loved so dear.
O little white tablet, how I hate you.
But in the end I was the winner Not you.

This poem refers to prescribed drugs


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Epitaph | |

BABY

written 28th oct 2012

You were never seen by us, that privilege sadly was not for us 
  an extravagance we were overwhelmed by, the thought of your embrace  
The entire twelve weeks you were a joy to have known, even 'without' being seen 
 hearing about you're arrival, was a blessing at the time you were conceived
For life hadn't been easy and we had all asked God, we even plea'd 

We wait upon the day, you will finally meet us 
 having the honour to love and learn with you, saddly not for us
It brakes my heart as you part, you had already embeded love into my heart
 Just knowing we will now...forever be kept apart

God has other plans for your love that's so strong, blessing us from the start
 we continually pray, maybe he'll deside to let you stay around
But the intense pain of tears and loss, are constantly falling all around
 just let it be known, we all desperately wanted you to become part of us
 
We all will love you for eternity, you are now forever one of us,
 although it was only for a very slight second, it was better than never
You are from this day on, embedded into our hearts forever...
   the impact you have left 'unborn young one'' my beloved grandchild....
                                  "Angel" 2012


Details | Villanelle | |

mother WHO i HATE

Mother, mother can't you see?
How much are you putting the needle,
Deep inside of  my heart?
I know the pain won't go away!
I know you are blind to see the truth!

Pain pain pain,
When will you go away?
Anger, hate & discouragement
Always comes my way!
What am I supposed to do?
I feel alone deep inside,
I feel the empty pressure against my chest,
In a prison of hate,
I am sick of the people who I love,
Betraying me & ruining the trust,
God above who sees your actions,
I hope He will never forgives you,
For you who keep on sin.

One day you will see 
Throw my eyes & my pain,
One day you will stop on pretend,
Realize your mistakes,
It will be too late,
I will be gone far away,
I will never come back again!


Details | I do not know? | |

A Story My Mother Told Me

someone always told me this with tears in her eyes...


(for Lata Sethi's late-mother, who was my mother’s ‘sister’ and who took us all into her heart, and for Lata and Ravi Sethi of Defence Colony, New Delhi)


a wife left South Africa in the 1960’s to join her husband 
who was in exile at the time...

in 1970 the husband was sent by the African National Congress to India to be its representative there...

the husband and wife spent two years in Bombay...

one afternoon the husband fell and broke his leg...

the wife knocked on their neighbour’s door, in an apartment complex in Bombay

the neighbour was an old Punjabi lady...

the wife asked the neighbour for a doctor to see to the injured husband...

a Parsi ‘Bone-Setter’ was promptly summoned...

the husband still recalls his anxiety of seeing ‘Bone-Setter’ written on the Parsi gentleman’s bag...

by the way, the ‘Bone-Setter’ worked his ancient craft and surprisingly for the husband, his broken leg healed quite soon...

but still on that day, while the ‘Bone-Setter’ was seeing to the husband...

the wife and the old Punjabi lady from next door got to talking about this and that and where these new Indian-looking wife and husband were from as their accents were clearly not local...

the wife told the elderly Punjabi lady that the husband worked for the African National Congress of South Africa and had left to serve the ANC from exile...

and that they had left their two children behind in South Africa and that they were now essentially political refugees...

the Punjabi lady broke down and wept uncontrollably...

she told the foreign woman that she too had had to leave her home in Lahore in 1947 and flee to India with only the clothes on her back when the partition of the subcontinent took place and Pakistan was formed and at a time when Hindus from Pakistan fled to India and vice versa...

the Punjabi lady then asked the foreign woman her name...

‘Zubeida’, but you can call me ‘Zubie’...

the Punjabi woman hugged Zubie some more, and the two women, seperated by age and geography, wept, sharing a shared pain...

the Punjabi woman told Zubie that she was her ‘sister’ from that day on, and that she felt that pain of exile and forced migration and what being a refugee felt like...

Zubie and her husband Mosie became the closest of friends with the Hindu Punjabi neighbours who were kicked out of Pakistan by Muslims...

then came the time for Mosie and Zubie to leave for Delhi where the African National Congress office was based...

the elderly Punjabi lady and Mosie and Zubie said their goodbyes...

a year or two later, the elderly Punjabi lady’s daughter Lata married Ravi Sethi and the couple moved to Delhi...

the elderly Punjabi lady called Zubie and told her that her daughter was coming to Delhi to live and that she had told Lata, her daughter that she had a ‘sister’ in Delhi...

Lata and Ravi Sethi then moved to Delhi...

This was in the mid-1970’s...

Lata and Zubie became the closest of friends and that bond stayed true, and stays true till today, though Zubie is no more, and the elderly Punjabi lady is no more...

the son and the husband still have a bond with Lata and Ravi Sethi...

a bond that was forged between Hindu and Muslim and between two continents across the barriers of creed and time...

a bond strong and resilient, forged by the pain and trauma of a shared experience...

and that is why, and I shall never stop believing this, that hope shines still, for with all the talk of this and of that, and of that and of this, there will always be a simple woman, somewhere, anywhere, who would take the ‘other’ in as a sister, a fellow human...

and that is why there will always be hope...
hope in the midst of this and of that and of that and of this...

hope...


(for Lata Sethi's late-mother, who was my mother’s ‘sister’ and who took us all into her heart, and for Lata and Ravi Sethi of Defence Colony, New Delhi)


Details | I do not know? | |

Dear little sister from another mister

You’ve been thrown left and right,
Crying to yourself every night,
Thinking all has gone wrong,
& you won’t be giving up after long..
You’ve been heartbroken 
One
Two many times:
From old boyfriends,
To lies;
Father walked out,
Baby killed by mistake;
Your mom has disowned you,
But she still shows you lust…
Everybody knows the truth,
The pain that you do not choose;
They see what you show,
But see me…
I, T’Keyah Wilder,
I already know…
You’ve raped and thrown from left to right;
Crying to yourself every night;
Everybody saying they understand,
But you know you’re the only
One who knows your pain ;
On this land…
It’s a matter of time, 
Before you kill yourself,
Stressing yourself,
Hurting you and everyone else;
Blaming yourself for,
Mistakes not purposely made;
Crying every time you feel like you just got 
Laid,
You want the true love,
Love shown from the heart;
Honestly,
Coming from your big sister; 
I think you need a fresh start,
Easing your pain with nicotine;
I’m surprised you’re not 
Sippin lean…
I know it may be hard,
To forget about the past,
But there’s one thing;
I must ask from you and I 
Want this to last;
Promise me, you’ll try your best
To stress less,
& pray more…
Listen to God;
Put him above…
All;
We’re not close like we used to be,
But you know I’m just a phone call,
Away…
Not far from you..
But I wish you’d  realize,
This too…
Stressing is not working,
Cause death, the devil, lies,
& fear are lurking..
Promise me;
You’ll try to be the best you can be…
Dear Little Sister from another Mister!
<3 RiP auntie bby ; djF .


Details | Free verse | |

For An Abused Child

If I Could Have Gotten Your Embryo
Before You Were Born
I Would Have Sheltered You Safely
and Protected Your Form ...

I'd Have Put You In My Womb
& Flowed You Knowledge Like In A Tubric
& Patted My Expanding Belly
As I Played You Music

And As You Got Ready
To Arrive From The Birth Canal
You Would've Known My Breasts
Would Be Ringing Like Welcome Bells! ...

Eager To Suckle You
Breast Feed My Own Flesh & Nourish
So You Could Grow Strong
... In Love's Encourage

I Would've Held You In Wonder
& So Close Tenderly
Amazed At This Little Bundle,
Breathing, Piece of Me ...

And When You Turned One
Or As You Sucked Your Thumb
Or Eating Baby Food Jars of Plums
... I'd Have Given You Trumpets & Drums

... And Building Alphabet Blocks
& Superman Capes
& Stuffed Teddy Bears
& Oatmeal Cookies & Grapes

I'd Have Read You Stories
From Capt. Adventure Books
You'd Have Known You Were Loved
By My Proud Mama Looks

I'd Have Spent Time With You
Showing You How To Tie Your Shoe
Rocked You If You Caught The Flu
or Any Sniffles You Went Through ...

I Would Have Played With You
& Prayed With You
From Crawling To Walking
Paved The Way For You

Yeah, I Would Have Fussed At You
& When Needed Even Spanked You Too
& I'd Meant: This Hurts Me More Than You
'Cause You're The Little Symbiot, Mama Grew

So, You Would Have Known
You Were Loved & Treasured
You Would Have Known
Your Worth Couldn't Be Measured

Nor Compared To Anyone Else
At Any Point In Time
'Cause You Are The Best
Because You Were "Mine"

* * * * * * *

But I Never Knew You
But Believe Me If I Had ...
I'd A Made Sure You Had 
A Loving Mom & Dad

And You Would've Never Been Abused
Or Treated Bad ...
But From Now On Find Your Joy
To Replace What's Sad


            Written & Copyrighted ©:  9/12/2013 
             by:  MoonBee Canady


Details | Elegy | |

I expect her to know

I don’t want to write about my mom,
She suffered in pain before she died,

But she always said she smiled when I did
Until the pain came and took her away.

She loved me, though never said such things
I loved her sometimes, I expected  her to know,

On the evening,  the night she died
Someone advised I should place my hand on her head

And tell, I love you mom,
I was not sure if she will hear or know.

Still I placed my hand and said, I love you mom,
There was pain in her eyes, she said nothing.

I traveled in the same hearse;
Expecting no one to see,  I place my hand one more time, 

And said, I love you mom -
She showed no pain or regret, nor she gave away her smile,

I even tried smiling that she may,
I waited the long dismal journey. 

I don’t want to write about my mom,
I expect her to know.


Details | Pastoral | |

I pray for mother

   I pray for mother 
 
	Mother!	
You could have stayed
Forever was my longing
Oh mother!
Does it really have to be you?
Mothers are too special to lose

You gave me life mother
You raised me into a man I am today
I will forever be grateful to you
Out of nothing, you gave me food
Out of nothing, you clothed me
Out of nothing, you sent me to school
Oh mother!
You were the best


In your shadow I had shade
You called me Father.
For I carried grandfather’s name
Now I understand how special I was to you
You felt grandfather in me
Who will ever call me that again?
I forbid my thoughts to go deep
For the deeper it goes, the deeper it hurts

I can still hear your voice mother
I can still see you in my dreams
You left without saying good-bye,
Were you mad at me mother?
Deep in my heart, you will always have a home
My sisters and brothers are heartbroken
They are all grown up 
But they still need you Mother

Do you still remember your grandchildren?
The youngest is not yet a year old
She will never see your beautiful smile mother
You could have waited
So she does something for you
Fetch water or call you grandmother	

We all miss you mother
It’s hard to know you are never coming back
One after another
We will join you mother
We are not afraid of death any more
For we have a place with you
God almighty will meet us someday
Then I will see you for myself again
We will talk and laugh
Just like we used too

Now you live in a far away land
We can’t change that, not even God almighty
I will teach my heart to live without you mother
Though it is hard
I will learn to miss you
I will learn to live without you
But I will never forget you
It’s the body I will never see


Your time is gone Mother
Now you live in a new world
There you will never grow old
There you will never die
I have peace in my heart
For I am reconciled by God’s mercy
My father in heaven comforted me
Now I know you are happy there
The pain I felt
The pain that tortured me
Will never torment me again
You departed with all my tears
With all my strength
With all my hope
And with all my faith
But God gave me a thousand reasons to smile
In am now back on track

Rest in peace dear mother,
It was the will of God
Who am I to question him?
I never did when you were given to me
And somehow I knew this day will come
Let his name be exalted
We meet again Mother
This I know.


Details | Narrative | |

My Story Telling Can You Trust Me

Gun fire all around, bombs going off in the distance
It was some of the angry mobs and resistance
Father was the king of SafeHaven a small kingdom
Like all other kingdoms it fell in random
Fire started in the castle
And along with it came a battle

It was a distance memory now because the child has now grew
Many things in this child that made memories stew
My name is Mastrey, a young orphan who was there that night
Mastrey saw her in the distance and her father and mother in his sight
Everyone was loud that night and made all the children hide
But that evening Mastrey saw her mother and father die

She ran into the bushes in such a fright
And evil doers were running around with flashlights
Mastrey remember it as he distracted them 
Her eyes was so confused with problems
Mastrey new that it was because of what just occurred
His feelings of what those people did was not awkward

The distraction worked, he went back to were she was
Hiding and very scared she was, he asked her, can you trust me just because?
Her answer that night depended on her lively hood
As Mastrey was their with his hand reaching out to her as he stood
Pulling her up from the ground he looked into her eyes that were SeaBlue
Mastrey had made a life long friend and love, She knew it was true

Next: My Story Telling,  Who is this Princess


Details | Rhyme | |

Please Don't Die

I hoped that there would be more days
I hoped there'd be more years
But this pain I'm feeling within my heart
keeps drawing up these fears

This cancer you have wants to take you away
I don't want to say goodbye
Please Mom, please Mom
please don't die

I know that you can beat this
I know you can somehow 
I need you here with me
I need you here right now

I know you can get through this
Just fight it, just try
Please Mom, please Mom
please don't die

The life you lived upon this earth
was never long enough
You have made it through everything till now
Cause' you have always been so tough

I don't want to have to miss you
I don't want to have to cry
So, Please Mom,  please Mom
please don't die


By Roger Horsch


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Rain and Wind

The wind blew events all over the place.
Intense emotions and it gave chase.
Lightning lighting to show us the sky.
People try to sleep and not cry.
Wisping by the wind keeps us awake.
The time trying to sleep the storms take.
Chills in everyone gives all shiver.
The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver.
Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop.
The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop.
People have seen such devastation.
The road that people made was week in creation.
Rivers near by was over flowing.
Trees that were there was not showing.
By the hour it claimed many.
My father woke up and did not see any.
Floating by was a boat.
Keeping people above water and a float.
My father kept a canoe.  
That some day we would use it, that he knew.
Time to paddle up and down the street.
The rain water kept getting on our seat.
It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud.
Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud.
The smell of moist water never seem to go away.
My brothers seem to still sleep anyway.
My head was bobbing up and down.
I was so tired that I could not hear a sound.
The wind blew back and fourth.
It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth.
Till all the people we saw with grace.
Help us out with embrace.
The time was so late at night.
Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight.
The fight with the weather was so hectic.
The feelings of energy was electric.
Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand.
When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand.
With hard workers like my mom and dad.
They make things happen that is not bad.
Rough with weather they experience more than ever.
Leaders they are they are very clever.
From the night light of street lights to the morning glow.
The wind did not stop so.
Bringing in more clouds that ill.
The people who were still tired still had will.
The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side.
Pushing and the force brought water inside.
The battle of our hour was getting long.
Backup people came to aid us was strong.
Rested they were to keep everyone with hope.
The people stopped the water with the strength of rope.
Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together.
It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather.
Chaos comes happiness how true.
This is why we are human that gives us a clue.
It is our nature to keep rain falling.
To know when it is time for our calling.
The winds bring such pain and sorrow.
That is why rain sometimes fallow.








Details | Narrative | |

An Inmates Dark Christmas

An Inmates Dark Christmas....
It was the first Christmas right after my momma passed away.
Any other Christmas I'd be making the best of the situation, but it was a very dark day!
It was a day I wanted to escape from, and nothing could distract my mind.
My body felt so numb, and the pain fed off of me being confined.

An Inmates Dark Christmas...
I laid on my bunk in a funk in that cold dark cell.
I was emotionally drunk, and that Christmas day was pure hell!
I pictured my momma in my minds eye, we were hanging decorations on the Christmas tree.
It was at that moment I wanted to die, for I just knew I would succomb to insanity!

An Inmates Dark Christmas...
That day I even contemplated suicide, for the pain and loneliness was just too much.
A bonified emotional homicide, for my momma I would never see or touch!
That Christmas I was a man with an empty shell, and a troubled soul.
A day of pure hell, and alone in that cell became my dark little hole.

An Inmates Dark Christmas...
I thought that day would never end, but then Christmas was gone.
No family or friend, for I was still terribly alone!
Christmas is still the hardest day of the year, but I manage to get by.
And although I still shed a tear, at least I no longer wanna die!


By Jimmy Matthew Anderson for Constance La Frances contest "Your Saddest Christmas 
Ever"


Details | I do not know? | |

mama

mama how do i tell you its bad again
how the voices are telling me its okay to hurt
they want me to fall
to fall from the top of buildings 
and not get up
but don't worry mama
i plan to shut them up

mama how do i explain how the pain has returned
all you wanted was me to be better
i tried and tried and tried and tried
but in the end, the crazy won
they drive me crazy to no end
i want to make it stop 
but don't worry mama
i have a plan

mama i cant tell you how it feels
to be sunken to the depths of earth
angels are soaring above me
but their happy gazes hurt
i need this incessant chatter to go
to hurt me, to hate me 
it all feels so real
but don't worry mama
it wont soon

mama i can see the look in your eyes
it hurts me too that this is goodbye 
cant you see this is the only way 
for the voices to vanish but my body stay
goodbye and farewell 
ill miss you so much
but don't cry mama
ill be better now


Details | Concrete | |

Observer

A serpent underneath blue sky,
in shade of man, in twinkle of an eye,
above brick wall, in the structure, at the floor,
venom of white dove; contaminated food, undrinkable water,
misguided youth, pregnant daughter, unfaithful father and hateful son,
mothers do pray while we walk through Babylon;
on teli and in the press, on top shells,
price none the less, in bedroom and at your door..
dawn of a new day seemed to be dark,
after all.


Details | Blank verse | |

Mother of Emptyness

Unfamiliar grounds  scare my emotions,

Hand which holds me safe no longer exist,

Each glance behind reveal vacant spaces

where are you Mom?


The emptiness I feel around me  is vast,

Familiar warmth no longer extents to wipe tears,

Very routine footsteps never walks alongside,

Where are you Mom?


Bond that linked was brutally cutoff,

Before I learned to sense essence of life,

The very dept jolt me to be bold for age,

Where are you Mom?


Each gray hair reminds me of time left,

Pangs of pain quiver me out of my gloom,

Arouse to stand up straight to face time,

Where are you Mom?


The very Mom within me shudder,

With the same pain I once poured,

Into thy very bosom  with  vengeance,

Where are you Mom?


Are you never going to  hold me close?

Why heartless to watch the  river of tears?

Mind  skilled to paint a shadow of you,

Where are you Mom?


Details | Free verse | |

Life Can Be Cruel

I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
Wondering...
When is Mum, coming for me?

"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"

I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now

I wish God 
Could make my Mum
Magically appear
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
Disappear!

“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!

I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if 
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own

A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!

Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Dirty tears
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm

“What am I going to do?”

“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?

“Is my life worth living?”

Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!


Details | Rhyme | |

Jesus My Life Is One HUGE Embarrassment


For many years... My life has been an embarrassment! Filled with hopelessness and discouragement! Many things I thought I had enjoyed... Have left in me... A large and empty void! Many nights, I would cry myself to sleep. Knowing the hole my life was in, was very, very deep. Then one day, I called out to God! I wasn’t sure if he’d listen! My family, my old church, I was now missin'. My family prayed for me for so many years. I often brought them embarrassment and tears. God... I tried everything else... I want to come back to you! I need you now Jesus! I really do! Please come into my heart, and cleanse me within! Set me free from all addictions and sin! I know that you will never let go of my hand. My whole life, on your word, I shall now stand. Only you can satisfy the emptiness in my soul! I am now complete, satisfied, and made whole! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Invisible

They
Are
Among us.
Not alien
But more
Like us than
You will ever know.
They are
Neighbors
Dying
Of
Disease
And 
Hate
And
Grief.
They live
Next door
Behind walls
Built
Not of stone
But of fear.
Hungry
Penniless
Alone.
They are
Stereotypes
Birthing
Children.
Ad dictions
Carving
Flesh from
Bones.
They are
Sold
Into
Slavery
Beaten
By
Other
People's
Philosophies.
They are
Invisible.
But not
To
Me.


Details | I do not know? | |

For Men Everywhere One Billion Rising

1 Billion Rising.

For Men Everywhere.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

Stop!

Stop the abuse!

Of grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Listen!

Listen to the voices!

Of grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Think!

Think of how you treat,

grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Act!

Act now to change yourself!

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

stops when you stop,

the violence,
the abuse,
the rape.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

is perpetrated by,

grand-fathers,
colleagues,
boyfriends,
husbands,
nephews,
brothers,
partners,
fathers,
uncles,

men,

all men.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

stops when us men stop,

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

today, now.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!


Details | Free verse | |

Child of Mine

You are my love,
my hearts content.
you are my life,
a life ideal.
you are my joy,
and you are my happy.
happiness like no one else can bring.
you are my hopes,
and you are my dreams.
you light up my life.
you are my everything.
you are my fear,
and frustration.
you are my pain,
and you are my anger.
you bring out the best of the worst in me.
you are someone to blame,
someone to hurt,
someone who is no one who deserves the anger inside of me.
you are my child.

A child you should be,
I should love you as God intended.
I wish someday our bond can be mended.
I have made choices, i can not take back.
I can not make up for the motherly lack.
circumstance and situations have put me here,
feeling hopeless and living in fear.
anxiety has stricken me,
I have succumb to my disease.
giving up on what i believe,
I have become someone in need.
I can no longer give my love,
my patience has run dry.
my heart has grown cold, 
my eyes can no longer cry.

Forgive me for the mistakes I have made,
forgive me for the pain in your heart,
forgive me for the tears in your eyes.
I too am a child, learning how to become wise.

I love you child of mine


Details | Free verse | |

marking time....to my friends on poetry soup.- the Lord helped me fight death and won.

i don't want to be just marking

time.  i died on november 20,

2008, during surgery.  i was

on a vent when i awakened 

december 2, 2008....my sisters'

birthday. what made me llive

i'll never know.  i know there

are things to do on this side

of death.



i have no time for marking time.

i have a stupid bag hanging from

my side now.  i am supposed to

"get comfortable with it".  well

that was a laugh.

that was a laugh until i thought

of the people that had these

things with no hope of ever

getting away from them.



i am so lucky.  14 days i laid

on a vent, then 22 more.

i came home 3 days, 



then 


i had
great pain in my chest...
.
well this is great i said,

a pulmonary emboli, 15 more

days, three days home.



then back to e.r. blood pressure

too high.  this bought me 

4 more days in e.r.



i am home now and finally 

have spent 19 days home.

i feel every pain and i feel

every time that i feel good



yes, i am never marking

time again.....there is

something about fighting

for your life and your sanity

that straightens things out.



i don't recommend it but

i wish i could let your hearts

know what i know.

janetta


Details | I do not know? | |

REST IN PEACE MUM ANN BROWN 18 AUG 2011

MUM ...

WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM 


FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE 


GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND 

REGRET  FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO  SO ****ING MUCH ,

 THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING  A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST 

BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD 

YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE 

WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO 

LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE 

YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER , 

IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR 

PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME , 

FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR 

BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED 

YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.

THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,

NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.

IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,

I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,

ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,

ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.

GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,

THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,

TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.

ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,

ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,

HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,

AND LEAD THE WAY,

FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....

I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, 
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH  ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I  NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me


Details | Senryu | |

The Kids of Divorce

Mom and Dad divorce; the kids are damaged for life; but some are relieved.


Details | Free verse | |

Survival Of The Fittest

Dropped out of school
At an early age
Lived on the streets 
Because, I disgusted my mother
She thought I was a poor example
Of true Christian beliefs
At an early age 
She religiously drummed into me
‘blood is thicker than water’
And yet, 
Here I am today confused, lonely and hungry
No one protecting me
No friends
No family
No home to go too
Just, peoples eye for an eye,
tooth for a tooth mentality
Praying for the sun to shine
To feel some warmth again!
Sun rays of hope, lighting me up
To live through this darkness without fear
With a heart full of faith
No matter what happens to me, now!
If only I could drink my salty tears
It would sustain me for a lifetime
Your tears are worth nothing, around here
You’re classed as weak and venerable
Only attracting death
Your life worth nothing!
Save me from myself
I am my best friend
I am my worst enemy
My prayers and dreams
Lost in the wind
Blowing around like autumn leaves
The rain washing them away
Down the drain into the sewage
Rolling with the seasons
Year after year
Survival for the fittest!
Surviving on the love
Hidden, inside me
Being my strength and guide
My personal lifeline
In surviving this crazy world 
We all live in


Details | I do not know? | |

For Anene Booysen 1996 - 2013

Hamba Kahle Anene Booysen! (1996 – 2013)


Dead at 17, brutally raped and left to die,
in the dirt,

 

at a construction site in Bredasdorp.

 

‘horrific’, ‘repulsed’,
‘brutally raped’, ‘shocked’,

 

do these words mean anything,
to anyone,

anymore.

 

Not to Anene Booysen,

 

murdered at 17, brutally raped and left to die,

in the dirt,

 

at a construction site in Bredasdorp.

 

Anene was raped,
savagely mutilated,

 

Her 17 year old body tossed aside,

 

by the hands of men.

 

Men, always men,

 

cowardly, beastly, perverted, twisted men.

 

‘Beastly’, ‘perverted’, ‘twisted’,

 

do these words mean anything,
to anyone,

anymore.

 

Not to Anene Booysen,

 

who now lies cold and dead.

 

How many Anene Booysens will it take,

 

for us,
society,
families,
people,

 

human-beings,

 

and,

 

men, especially men,

 

to excise the ghastly menace,

 

of the heinous capacity that resides,

 

within men,

 

always men,

 

to brutalise, rape, mutilate, and murder.

 

‘Brutalise’, ‘murder’, ‘rape’,

 

do these words mean anything,
to anyone,

anymore.

 

Not to Anene Booysen,

 

murdered at 17, brutally raped and left,

 

to die,

 

in the dirt,

 

at a construction site,

 

in Bredasdorp.

 

 

Anene Booysen
(1996 – 2013)

 

* – Hamba Kahle – “Farewell, Travel Well” in Zulu

 

** – Bredasdorp is a small town near Cape Town, South Africa


Details | Free verse | |

The Bird that is Loved and Loathed

It burns and it stings.
It hurts.
More than drowning beneath 
the ice.
More than remaining in a 
kindled flame
She hits and I no longer cry.
Why mother, why? 

It burned and it stung.
The markings remained, 
returned, and were relived
Looking, loving, and little 
known loathing were the known 
ways of living.
Never was their pity for the 
child that cried
Never was their relief for the 
child that tried

You were that lovely bird that 
understood the complications of 
felicity 
Nothing looked the same in 
those dewy browns of yours.
My everbeating would cry tears 
of joy.
The others-they were yet to 
appear.
Caring Mother, o' so fair
 You were that beautiful bird 
filled with care.

The others came and were not 
alone. Their two suitors sat on 
the throne.
Rampage and rage why did you 
come?
I began to wither and wither 
slumping along. So very soon I-
the child of fines- became a 
human raceme. 
The droops of the Lily of the 
Valley became the slumping of 
my heart.
My lovely bird the enemy had 
taken you and the person you 
were is far from near.
For that divine nature left its 
intricate self and you became 
irretrievable my big bird.
All of your fairness died.
With that went my pride.
 
Mother, Mother what moved 
you so? 
Your intense spirt vanished only 
to supplement a monster. 
Mother, Monster and your tar 
filled lungs. 
How did I kill that liver that was 
so, so strong?
The lesson of pain was one you 
came to learn.
My darling bird why did you 
turn?
 
My lovely bird and your big 
brown eyes
I'll tell you once, but never 
twice.
Pain is only a flower for it 
blooms and dies
And a mistake can be killed as 
quickly as lice.
 You dear bird hurt me well. 
Though, haven't you heard?
Weakness is a souls greatest 
strength.
You brought me up, then you 
brought me down.
You haved helped, hurt, and 
hindered my blazing spirit.
A hero in my heart-I left you 
down in your deep black 
slumber. 
Escaping those terrible nights
To go for the town of delights. 


Details | Free verse | |

Life Is Just The Funny Part Of it

How does it feel when they are gone, your mother and father, when life is just a dark tunnel of useless feelings, the way they seem to come to you and drag you through a restless floor with rocks and needles for your own personal mental pain, fictionary horizon showing off with blood and death, but yet you smile at so much pain because you never met love and comfort, a table with cards and deals, your soul for a life, but don't die because your gonna burn, burn like you intended to wake and open eyes in this world, since the night was on, from the sides were meant together, scars are there and they are well marked for everytime you look at your self you remember how long has it been since you last held hands with such people, family meant so many lies from before you met this world, the pain in you, the one you thank to every day to be there for you, the one that wasn't suppose to be yours and is still burning through you, like an endless fire that burns down a world of ilussion's, somebody said you were meant for more, your gonna grow higher and higher between every standing man there, the perspective you held for years, dying in your hands tonight, but no one can be fitting simply there, like a magik act agaisn't you, it all chains you to this never before seen hell, but yet you keep on for more, knowing you have no one there, those close will fade just for tomorrows sunrise, but yet you still stand, alone, because many ones have left you cry only for your inside, knowing you will not make it far, you still stand, like a grown man but with the age of a meer one, become what you ain't, become the man of tomorrow, mother is dead, don't you understand his mind screams, she killed herself, she put a bullet in her head, she painted the walls in red for you, father is dead, he is dead! Just move on boy! Move on! Is all you can do or follow their footsteps for nothing, in vain, your still gonna die, but no satan will drag me down, no one will ever, i refuse, i refuse, i rather die in vain after so many years than dying because of my own hand after so much i've been through, i fight for myself and only myself, don't blame me now for been so strong with life, don't spit on me for becoming the god of my own mistakes.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Mother's Words

A MOTHER’S WORDS

A mother’s words can be hurtful
Or make you feel high
They can give you strength and courage
Or make you want to die

A mother’s words stay with you
When you are far away
They can be words of wisdom
Or ones to spoil your day

My mother’s words still puzzle me
I don’t think she meant to be unkind
I wish she never had said them
I tried really not to mind.

I was never good enough 
To win her words of praise
She loved the others more than me
Through all our childhood days

I tried not to let words hurt me
Some were hard to bear
Often when she'd speak to me
I wished I wasn’t there

She filled me with trepidation 
Tried to instill fear
Words harsh and unflattering
For a child’s ears to hear

I’d turn away dejected
Uncertain of my worth
She praised my other siblings
God’s blessings they were on earth

I never met her expectations
Even when things I did were great
Her view of me was negative
I tried hard not to hate

I longed for her recognition 
for the things that I had done
Or simple  congratulations 
for honors I had won 

Now that I am old and grown
With children of my own
Supportive words I try to speak
To show how much I care

 I remember my dejection
How her spirit made me frown
I vowed my words would never -- ever
Tear my children down


Details | Couplet | |

The Deadly Dart

Wherever I go through out my whole life,
I end up struggling with lots of strife.
Thinking that my life is a total waste,
Wanting it to be over in a haste.

I can feel the pain inside my own heart,
Like someone through at my a deadly dart.
The wound is easing deeper and deeper,
Will the pain ever stop getting bigger?

Feeling emo is never a good thing,
Cutting your arm makes a really bad sting.
Blood is dripping from my arms and my heart,
Failing to dodge the largest deadly dart.

Drowning in all the lies and self pity,
I live each day but always feel sh*tty.
I have lots of thoughts about suicide,
But then I think about those who have died.

Those who have died not just from suicide,
But also those who are really nice guys.
...
...
...
...This "poem" was actually suppose to be a couplet (on any thing you want) for my english 
class but i made this kind bcuz i was feeling emo that day...and also after i was done i read it 
over and it almost sound like a rap song which, i guess, is kinda funny and cool.........


Details | Quatrain | |

More Agony

My friend I want you to know
 That happy for you I am
As before the coming snow
 You will have a baby in a pram.

Your shower today was nice
 I thought I could handle it.
But my heart is not ice
 For jeaousy I feel this I admit.

I feel like a loon
 My babies gone
No lullabies to croon
 No being woke at dawn.

I thought I could handle this
 Be here for my dear friend
But there is gaping abyss
 And I do not want to offend.

This your day to shine
 And do well to not frown
And to not even let out a whine
 Though in sorrow I drown.

I leave the shower
 My wounds to lick.
In my own space cower
 Pain in my heart does stick.

I am now alone 
 I lay here and cry.
In agony I moan
 And in misery I sigh.

I really am a lousy friend.
 For how can I feel sad?
How can I make amends
 and tell you why I am bad?

No more baby showers for me
 I cannot do this
To much pain for this to be
 For me there is no bliss.

My arms do so ache
 For the babies that are mine.
How much more pain can I take?
 How much longer will I pine?

Can anyone understand
 What I truly am?
A mother in no man's land
 Whose tears have broke the dam.

A mother who misses 
 Her children each day.
I miss thier kisses,
 Their bedlam and fun way.

Why can I not heal?
 Why must agony sear
And my fate and theirs seal
 For this I do fear.

I thought I was doing good
 But as you can see
This pain gets me where I stood
 And still gets the best of me.


Details | Rhyme | |

Hold On To You

Why am I so selfish?
Why do I live for the wrong things?
I am dying inside
Because I refuse to see the light.
I need to say yes,
But I still haven't learned that yet.
I am a fool,
And I am hurting you.
If I would let go of myself,
I would hold on to you.


Details | I do not know? | |

REST IN PEACE MUM ANN BROWN 18 AUG 2011

MUM ...

WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM 


FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE 


GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND 

REGRET  FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO  SO ****ING MUCH ,

 THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING  A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST 

BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD 

YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE 

WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO 

LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE 

YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER , 

IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR 

PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME , 

FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR 

BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED 

YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.

THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,

NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.

IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,

I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,

ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,

ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.

GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,

THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,

TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.

ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,

ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,

HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,

AND LEAD THE WAY,

FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....

I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, 
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH  ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I  NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me


Details | Lyric | |

Never Be the Same

I wake up sittin' on my bed,
I have these thoughts runnin' through my head.
I just cant figure out a way,
of how I'm gonna get through this day.
Oh, come and take my breath away,
I'll never be the same,
I'm not ready for today,
But it's gonna happen... Anyway.
I dont know how to understand,
I dont know whats, happening..
I can't do this on my own... No.
I'm starting to feel like i'm all alone... all alone.
I wake up sittin' on my bed,
I have these thoughts runnin' through my head.
I just cant figure out a way,
of how I'm gonna get through this day.
I need some juice, I need a Jolt!
Or maybe get hit my a lightning bolt!
some things will never be the same.....
Oh, come and take my breath away,
I'll never be the same,
I'm not ready for today,
But it's gonna happen... Anyway.
But it's gonna happen.... Anyway.


Details | Free verse | |

Losing Myself

I cry myself awake
In the middle of the day
Because of a decision I made
Not to spend time with you.
And now everything I am
Is falling apart into pieces;
I feel like I am losing you
Because I am losing myself.


Details | Heroic Couplets | |

The Most Fierce Love

When you await that day for so long just to see their face, 
 Not too much longer will you have to go, you're almost to Home Base.
All the pain you've been through, will be worth it in the end.
 One look at that precious face, and you'll be the envy of some friends.

You look over to the side and see a tiny bed which is clear, 
 So you can see each precious feature of a child that is very near.
When you're almost done and you feel that final tear.
 The pain and anticipation is almost more than you can bear.

Here comes a tiny bundle of dark hair and gorgeous eyes, 
 Ten little fingers and ten tiny toes, it scared me at first since I heard no cries.
Finally, my son is born and I thank God he is alive, and FINALLY here.
 A perfect child in my eyes, and I'm incandescently happy, but also full of fear.

Will I be a good Mother, will I know what to do?
 This is all so scary, and oh so very new.........
I hold him closely to my heart, 
 I'm Finally a Mommy, no time to fall apart.

I KNOW I can do this, I don't really have a choice.
 The moment I found out I was pregnant, I began to rejoice.
Now I have two children, and I only had to give birth to one!
 Illyanna and I now await for our children to grow and have fun.


Details | Free verse | |

Branded Soul

Judgement day is every day when you're trying to survive in a decent way. Clean up your life and move away, to a new playground for the kids to play. It's an Oreo cookie way of life, broader than black and white. Trying to break to the surface to see the light, but you keep getting suppressed.. it takes all your fight.

Drop out came a long way.. From counting stacks of 3 to a GED. On the outside mamma's so proud of me. But inside she's scared she don't want to see me take another fall, slip up and lose it all. X'ed up, punching holes in the wall. She's cautious for my life, she cries: "I wish you could see it through my eyes".

Accidentally got caught up in the game and chase again. Never had let go, the past was still holding onto my hand. Slowly takes over, but you keep it undercover. Keep it on the low, thinking nobody's going to know. But somehow I stayed on top of it. Only slinging and drugging on the weekends and shit. Got through my Friday and played on payday. Dedicated worker specialized in crazy.

Then one I day my end started to begin. I changed my life and I traded it in.. For a camouflage uniform that covered the scars on my skin. I ended up losing my freedom, tied down with conflicting feelings. Gun in my hand, I was told to defend, the pain and the hell that I had abandoned. The bad guy in trusted boots, ripped myself from my roots. I planted my self far from the town I was raised in.

Kind of felt like I was betraying there trust, leaving my love for a life that's lust.
But then again.. I finally felt filled inside, alive. Maybe there was a reason I looked at my past, and wanted to run and hide. No longer scraping dough to get high. Now I see it again, that pride. The sparkle in mamma's eye. And for the first time it ain't a tear from fear. Can't plan ahead a god damn year. Now she has hope instead of dread, from that knock on the door saying: "Your little girl's dead."

I opened my eyes and I stopped listening. Closed my ears to the phrases of hustlers. "Act classy, you're a lady" was all they could muster. How did they think ladies could survive in these streets? Double standards of life, a game you'll never beat.

I lived how I wanted, they said it was no place for a girl. But once I shared what I had, it became our world. I found the "I" in family, once the pain killers got a hold of me. They kill the pain but bring the misery.  





Details | I do not know? | |

They Left so Abruptly

They Left so Abruptly

(for the countless South Africans, of all colours, who dedicated their lives for freedom and democracy)

the valiant ones
countless
many known
many more nameless

the truest sons and singers
husbands and poets
lovers and wives
daughters and farmers
workers and sisters
brothers and friends

they left so abruptly
with quiet pride
steely courage
gentle dignity

they left so abruptly
leaving us our tomorrows
brighter
hopeful
filled with promise

they left so abruptly
so that we may breathe
the breath of liberty
the air of freedom
the warmth of justice

they left so abruptly
leaving with us their parting gift

freedom
inkululeko
swatantrata
liberte
azadi
vhudilangi
libertad

they left so abruptly
yet we remember them all
today
in the days that slipped away
and in the many more that we await

they left so abruptly
yet they remain
hewed into our memories
etched in our consciences
engraved in our hearts
they left so abruptly
and yet they endure
with us
within us
now and forever more


Details | I do not know? | |

Another Year On

So many things that go around,
Yet in this crowd there is no sound,
The world seams dead and void inside,
And I can’t seem to run and hide.

I hear her screaming out for help,
She gives a final wounded yelp,
She hits the floor and eyes turn black,
Now she knows she can’t turn back.

Those left behind hide up and die,
No one ever wants to cry,
The tears of blood cause too much pain,
Our poisoned hearts are not the same.

As your body dissolves to ash,
The whole world changes in a flash,
No more happiness for us to share,
No more mother to love and care.



Details | I do not know? | |

Feelings of Pain

The pain that i am feeling is caused without reasons,night after night and seasons after seasons. This pain that I'm feeling is not as bad,I have seen others lose all they had.I sometimes wonder, would that happen to me? Then i begin to tremble thinking, will i ever be free? This pain has my heart hurting, longing for the love i never had. Where will i ever find love with a heart this sad? The pain that i am feeling...I'm not only feeling for me,it's the pain of my love ones who is hurting inside of me. Feelings of pain i feel no more as you look into the eyes of a soul once torn.


Details | Rhyme | |

I have much less to be thankful for

This Thanksgiving I have much less to be thankful for.
Much less than I did just one year before.
When I lost Mom in March, I lost my mother and my best friend.
I had no idea how sick she was or that her life would abruptly end.
Four months later I lost my Dad as well.
This Thanksgiving I'm living in Hell.
But I am thankful to still have my brother.
We have no parents, we only have each other.
Since March the 6th, I've had very little happiness.
Last year I had much to be thankful for but now I have much less.


Details | Rhyme | |

Many Families Are In Difficult Situations

I’ve seen many families in difficult situations!
Often ending up in lies and false accusations!

I’ve seen many families stray way off course…
And tragically, often, end up in a divorce!

I’ve seen the hardships that many families endure.
Their faith has often been shaken. 
 That’s for sure!

I’ve seen many families trying to give 100 percent.
And then wondering where all of their time went!

I’ve seen all these things happening
 and much more!
I have wondered; “what is all of this happening for?”

I’ve just one thing to say in this “chaotic confusion.”
Only the blood of Jesus gives
 any hope or solution!

It’s only in his word, we’ll find a godly direction!
His Holy Spirit can give true and loving correction!

May we seek his spirit to bind us all together!
And pray for his blood for our protection forever!

Please come Lord Jesus, and refresh our soul!
We need you right now, to make us whole!

Please touch our heart, and make us all one!
And heal every father, mother, daughter and son!

Please help us to watch what we’ll do and say!
You can turn our darkest night
 into the brightest day!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Narrative | |

Her Personal Curse (Part Two) *warning, graphic in nature*

I felt his fingers bruising my flesh, tearing me till I bled onto him.
He made me taste it for him, I thought this would be the night I died.
Panic seized me anew when he settled between my thighs and pressed in.
A pain like none of his blows seized me, as he pinned me where I lye



I began to fight him again, digging my own nails into his shoulders.
It didn’t seem to anger him anymore as he pushed sending fire through me.
He let me scream now, and the bed banged the wall, but nobody heard.  
All I could think about was my mother in the next room, oblivious to my screams.

 He pound his member deep inside me as I gasped and begged him to stop
I called him by his name, and still, his hands grabbed hard as he continued to thrust.
Some of the pain subsided as he took me, I must have slowly slipped into shock.
I felt his hot release inside of me, as I lye under this man I once thought I could trust.

Spent and dripping sweat, he fell down against me, crushing the breath from my lungs.
I felt his lips suckle my neck, as he leaned off to knead my breast.
I lay limp as he kissed me, I could still taste vodka on his tongue.
I lay there being fondled by my mother’s 28 year old house guest.

He hardened again against my thigh, while he continued exploring my body
He murmured empty words to me before flipping me over onto my stomach.
I tried to get up and crawl away but he pushed my head down from behind me.
I screamed against the mattress while he took me, preying for it to go by quick.

It was dawn before he left me, aching and soiled down to my bones.
I curled up onto the mattress after he told me no one would ever believe me.
I was stunned that this could happen to me in my own home.
I thought of my mother sleeping in such close vicinity.

She must have left and I didn’t hear her, I thought. I didn’t want to face the fact
That she had been there, steps away while I begged and pleaded for rescue.
But as I painfully left my bed to prove to myself that she wasn’t there to stop the attack,
I stepped out into the hallway and heard her snoring, the door left open to her room.

Passed out on her own bed, left as vulnerable as I had been left, she was untouched.
While I was riddled with bruises and blood, scars inside that would never heal.
I ran to her shaking her awake to tell her, wanting to be consoled so much.
She looked at me, still drunk, as if wondering how she should feel.


Details | Heroic Couplets | |

Day I Dread

I know my life is moving slowly ahead
But there is a day coming that I dread.
It is the day I came to this earth.
It is the day to of my own birth.

For that was always the day
My children would display
Their handmade gifts of
Their devotion and love.

But my babies are now 5 years gone
And am trying not to be withdrawn.
But as this day draws near
I valiantly fight my tears.

But it is to no avail
As they lead their trail
Down my puffy face
As if they are in a race.

I am really really trying
Hard to keep from crying
As my heart is torn apart
But from me resolve departs.

The tears flow and flow
As my hurt does grow.
No one will remember me
As no one ever does you see.

God please forgive me
Lord please hear my plea.
Take care of my kids please
I am begging on my knees.

Never make this pain abate
As I know this was my fate.
Make sure they are in good care
And this soul wrenching pain I shall bare.


Details | I do not know? | |

Wife and a Mother

 Joey And Mother

Mothers are a gift from the heavens above
All through life they share their love
Mothers are the greatest creation 
They are what they are and need no explanation
From that first day starts a new life of love and joy
They do anything to protect their baby girl or boy
They walk around as proud as can be
They want to shout look I have a life inside me
Bigger and bigger she gets as time goes by
Some suffer from pain and they cry
There love is so strong that they can bear the pain
They suffer and pray that it all was not in vain
The greatest day on earth has come
With some pain and pushing you are now a mom
You have suffered a lot and sometimes cried
But now it is over and with a baby at your side
Now the easy part is over and your baby is here to stay
You become a doctor a lawyer different people everyday
You protect and raise them through the years
With love joy and even some tears
Now their grown and its time for them to leave
You think back over the years while you grieve
Even thou they are gone and hardly call you
They may not write but they do love you
Mothers belong on a pedestal with the word rare
From the first day till the last they always care
Mothers are and will always be
The greatest any world will ever see
When it is her time to go to heavens place
She is sent back to earth wearing a new face
Over and over a mother they be
To give love to their new baby
Back and forth from heaven to earth
With love and joy and giving birth
Mothers are not one of a kind
They are all the same with love in mind
With love in there heart from heaven they come
Before you move on let me say I love you mom


Details | Rhyme | |

It's Hard To See The One You Love Go Through Pain


It's Hard To See Someone Go Through' Pain... "It's hard to see someone I love go through so much pain." Were the words I heard that night I called on Jesus' name. "This person whom I love, has gone through so much." "How I wish to bring my peace and healing touch." I cried and wept, as I heard the master's voice. His gift of love is for all of us... It's our choice! His body was broken... A sacrifice was made. His life for our sorrow and pain, is what he gave. His grace is more than sufficient for the pain we endure. His love and commitment to you, is true and secure. He loves you so much. He waits at your heart's door. He gives peace and comfort. And so much more! The pain and suffering you're going through today. Please listen to the words Christ has to say. "I am El-Shadaii." "Jehovah-Jireh." "Your very best friend." "My love and devotion to you will never, never end." By Jim Pemberton


Details | Bio | |

what it took me all

In search of summer though hopeless but in vain I cry for summer. Pain broken heart sorrows and hopelessness I had to deal with to get to my destination. Pain over here pain over there, left abdicated in the mystery of nowhere caught in the wrong chemistry. Locked and forgotten my days are over my life is useless at this point, my illusions are devastated I have no future. Been alone in this small cell is my new world, have not learned my mistakes but have learned that life is what you lead it to be missing those wonderful summer moments. It might sound surprising that am not longing to change but looking forward to full filling my dreams. Enjoyable were those days as I made it seem like heavens belong to me, i governed my clan as my name was praised. With the honour of who I was a great drug dealer which am still not regretting, I did what I had to do to obtain my pride. As my mum ruins my world it was like I were never me it was painful it was heartless of her those names she called me "A bastard child, a mistake" I had no other choice. To thee who gave us life To thee who protects us to thee who sees all I prayed to recommending that I have no rights to question him why for he is the almighty and his ways are unquestionable. 

Dealing with the agony days after days years after years it kept getting deadlier, I have pleaded, I have suffered I was forced to live again. I felt it was high time to agree on a solution as i made up my mind to rebel, though my beloved mother choose drugs against my life. The love I alter for her never did change an will never.  I can still see it happening  it was not my intentions to take her life I was only trying to protect my self but things happen. I wasn’t happy neither was I dismal I was at a certain point satisfied. Turning around walking away, my body felt cold my heart felt heavy and empty, I was no more myself I felt different I felt brave I didn’t feel guilty taking the life of the person who gave me life and tampered with it boldly I delivered myself to the police, I murded her I murdered my mother in tears I shout. With 17 in jail and so shall it be till I rot in here. God is with me as I am with myself.
She left in summer by my force as i was born in summer in her pain.


Details | Free verse | |

Deceased

Middle of the night
All that is heard
Is yelling & screaming
A voice says,
"...No!...
...Why?!...
...Stop!...
...Don't do that!..."
Then nothing
Walk into the room
Nothing to see
Pitch black
One click of the light switch
All is revealed
Empty liquor bottles
Broken glass
Pills
Knife on the floor
Blood splattered all over the walls
With writing on it that reads,
"See what you made me do?"
Look on the floor
A dead body holding a gun
Look on the ceiling
A dead body hanging
What a nightmare
But a wish come true
Both parents
Dead


Details | Epic | |

Once a child birth

Once a child birth.
 it is  Saturday,
 a  day of a new life
hardly  in suffering mind
a child once born,
born through abyss detriment
of motor contract expansion
expanding in contract pain voice
the voice in agony pain play
like a sheep playing in the ocean
of glory  laughter 
yet in a state of being a child
mother shout in groan of pain
deliverance
      aah-i can't , i can't
complaining twice, thrice and
congealed in  froze
frozing yonder outside of thy world,
in a sleeping wool of white color
the wool of which her baby lade 
crying endlessly from long way of 
 walked
a baby mother finally relief and
ended kicking the bucket full of water.
but yet cry,shout ,yelled hilaring,commotion
all join in depravity
a child mother no longer dwelth ,nor breath
in the world humans
rather  went to the world of  dead
In hail may her exist in paradise.


Details | Bio | |

The Cry

Why do tears caress your soft face so frequently? 
Why is it that when you cry and let out a large scream, 
Which resonates from deep in your heart do you feel relief? 
Why can you not find the arms of a mother or a lover who can give you the same relief as that scream?  Where you born to wonder alone? 
A lone being that has given all 
Only to find that you have given a little too much and are now left bare. 
No-one had requested that you commit to such a feat; 
No-one had expected you to give it all
How can you not blame yourself when you find that you have nothing left? 
When you find that all has been given and no-one is willing to share?

The cry is God given 
When a child cries their protector responds and tries to put right. 
The cry is not to be left unattended. 
When you become of age however your protectors’ take on different forms, 
A mother becomes a lover 
And your tears are now for yourself. 
Where are your protectors? 
You frantically search for them but only find mocking… 
You are of age now and your cries will be left unattended.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Man Does Weep

Great are the pains in life, 
a job, friends, kids and wife…
Needing to be alone to think, 
constant drip of the kitchen sink.
Sorrows, struggles, fear and pain, 
things a man can’t show, no gain…
If the truth be told man or not,
standing alone, not a robot.
A man can weep ‘till his insides ache, 
watch his children leave his heart does break. 
A man does shed tears no lie!
I did, I watched my mother die…
A man does weep when sorrow comes, 
the pain so great it surely numbs.
I wept so hard my body shook, 
gasping to breathe my breath it took…

A mother lost, a father too; 
a child has gone so far away.
A life of hope that disappears, 
it’s hard to see another day…

I still get up after I fall, 
each time but not for myself…

Who am I living for? 
I sometimes wonder why not myself…

And again I seek to be alone to weep…


Details | Free verse | |

DECASTICH-THE WISEST ONE

Seeing others doing harmful things,
excessively drinking and using hard drugs,
I say this road is the wisest one
a very prudent individual could ever take, 
hoping that nobody will lay flowers 
on that spot, where a horrible crash may occur.
Perhaps I've been too cautious...
when it comes to save what I hold most precious,
not afflicting useless pain on my body;
only praying to God to safeguard me. 


This afternoon, I visited my niece Crystal in Elmurst Hospital,
as she and her four friends were involved in a bad accident;
the driver, who had a legal alchool level in her blood, crashed 
into a light pole last Sunday morning; were they all drinking?
That's a mere speculation, but this kind of behavior is common
among teenagers; Asia, the driver of the car, is into a coma slowing improving. 
Crystal has a broken leg and fractured pelvis, begging nurses for help; 
and she is in acute pain and can hardly breath. Elisabeth is on a respirator...
due to a blood clot traveling to her lungs; the other two girls have minor injuries.


What does it take for irresponsible drivers not to be under the influence....
avoiding the mourning of a dear one, or even losing their own life?
Not many folks will heed this message...until they face death,
and nothing can be done to prevent them from diying.
Trongs of visitors crowd the hall, to inquire about their condition;
they hear their agony and are unable to help...ah, if they ever could!
So will you take that path which is the wisest one to avoid a possible tragedy,
or continue defying fate until its awfully late to enjoy a full life?
Their parents are as helpeless as I, but our faith makes hope grow...
that these kids will finally understand that a second chance is not given to all.



This horrible accident happened in Woodhaven, Queens, NY on August 15, 2010.


Details | Free verse | |

A Cemetery's condo

Every morning, an overview of death’s tombstones is perched outside my window taunting 
and haunting me with the scent of a hollow kiss.  The worst case is not this thing called death 
but the abuse of love that my parents fill into my bruised soul, a child I am no more but I 
can still remember the time I cried as one and cried and cried until the face of a frustrated 
mother came to ease my pain, and her own unease mind.  Disorder clouded my mind but as 
a child I did not fully understand what these emotions where, for is a mother not there to 
ease her Childs pains, and is a mother not there also to ease her children’s emotional pains.  
I can vouch that my physical pain was eased but spiritually my emotions ran wild like a pack 
of wolfs searching for the hunter who wielded with him the ax grief.  I respect my parents 
like any child should, and I disobey them like any child shouldn’t, but what I feel towards 
them is different than disobedient and anger. It feels as if loath itself is creeping up into my 
heart then into my head like the words of a woman who clouds all sense of reasoning.  I 
laugh but I cannot truly feel happy even when they do try to appease me in the way I want 
to be appeased or so they do think for we never truly speak. I love them; I loathe them, for 
I am an outcast even amongst outcasts for they say they know pain but not all pain is 
physical for trauma has kissed and slept inside my heart but has it done the same in theirs 
also. I shall never know for trauma has chained us into the comfort of its hellish bed and 
sealed our lips like everything that is true in life. I am loath now, I am pain now, I am evil 
incarnate, but I am an evil whose pain and loath seek nothing but the comfort of peace. 
Every morning I wake, and an overview of death’s tombstones is perched outside my 
window taunting and haunting me with the scent of a hollow kiss and I wonder when is the 
day that I will fall prey under the temptation of its kiss. Death is literally around the corner 
for I live by a cemetery’s condo.


* Just a story but i have put SOME of my feelings and my own life experience in there.





Details | Pantoum | |

Too Soon Born

Too soon born, a son was ripped from life.
Her empty womb tormented motherhood.
That dreadful day bore great pain and strife. 
A lifetime lamenting loss not understood.

Her empty womb tormented motherhood
Nature’s deadly forces wrought its bitter bite.
A lifetime lamenting loss not understood.
Dreams of laughter vanished overnight.

Nature’s deadly forces wrought its bitter bite.
Conception hid its face, years sadly past.
Dreams of laughter vanished overnight.
Sorrow thrived upon a painful future cast.

Conception hid its face, years sadly past. 
Despair became life’s ordinary way.
Sorrow thrived upon a painful future cast.
Her barren womb cried each Mother’s Day.

Despair became life’s ordinary way.
That dreadful day bore great pain and strife.
Her barren womb cried each Mother’s Day.
Too soon born, a son was ripped from life.

© Dane Smith-Johnsen
September 15, 2010


Details | Rhyme | |

A Young Man With A Heavy Load


A Young Man With A Heavy Load… I was watching a young man walking down my road. I could tell that he was sad, and carrying a “heavy load.” You see his dad had recently “up and left the home.” Now he and his mom were left all alone! I could tell it was hard for him to hold back the tears. Especially after being with his dad for so many years! I don’t think that parents think about what they say and do. They can hurt and betray the one who said; “I love YOU!” When this happens… I know that the heart of God is hurting.. Too many couples are together, but their eyes “keep flirting.” They feel happy to have a family, but soon it’s not enough… And quickly run out when things get “tough.” The dishonesty, lying and cheating are too commonplace… I’ve seen the heartache and pain upon a loved one’s face. Jesus knows all about the hurt and pain that this can cause. He also knows about the “friction” caused by the “in-laws.” For the one that may be thinking of leaving his or her family… You may think it’s fun now… But you’re not going to be happy! Whatever is tugging at your heart now may seem “appealing.” But it’s the love from your spouse and kids that you’re stealing! I challenge you to be the man or woman of God he wants you to be! You need to be with the family God gave you! Can’t you see??? Come on back and spend the quality time you need to spend. Your family and children need you both as a parent and a friend! Allow the love of Jesus Christ to bind your hearts together! May his peace and joy comfort you now and forever! Allow your home to be filled with the love of God’s precious son! May be bring your family together in unity… As ONE! By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

hurt

i was just a small girl, when you hurt my  world.
you hurt me for so many days.
days turn into weeks
now i'm left defensive less and weak.
now I've got this big secret on my shoulder.
who can i trust because everyone to busy to notice's hurting me.
what you stole was priceless.
in every one eye sight he hurts me every night.
blind by his kindness.
force to live in hell, my place of home.
faking is so hard, could barely stand too young to make it on my own.
the blood in my underwear, the pain in my eyes; he didn't care.
so young i had to grow up, be strong and stand in the sight of fear.
trap between evil and good.
do other girls go through this? or is this just in my neighborhood.
my hurt and pain how could a little girl take in so much.
i yearn for my mother touch, my father strong hands, my sisters to understand,
my brother to protect me, my cousins to never neglect me, my aunts advice,
my uncles meanest, my best friend hug, my Neice smile, my grandmother 
confront. 
caught  up in sorrow, confuse and daze in my mind  
with my pain i can't go backwards 
yet now i grown and its over and done ,now i leave my past behind and walk 
forward. 
was lost now i'm found
like Maya Angelo i rise! i can to stand on my own ground.
in my soul i forgive but i cant forget, the heartache forever lives inside.
my past i bury and forever hide


Details | Narrative | |

Her Personal Curse (Part One) *warning, graphic in nature*

In a drunken stupor, I fall down on my comforter
Baby blue sky covered in fluffy clouds of cotton.
I kick off my shoes, faded pink chuck Taylors
And make clumsy work of my shirt buttons.

I slip an oversized shirt over my head, Bart Simpson,
And pull it straight passed over my bra and panties, past my knees.
Now in the dark, on my bed, I hear the door creak open.
I turn to see your silhouette, and I hear the door behind you locking.

I sat up, before you lunged on top of me, and smacked me in the face.
I tried to push you off, but a little girl is nothing against a man.
Fear pinned me down with your arms, the look in your eye was crazed.
I yelled out as you punched me again, before stifling my breath with your hand.

I felt your fingers probe underneath my shirt, rough and groping.
The straps tore at my flesh as you ripped my bra apart.
I tried to push your hand off my face, I was having trouble breathing
But when you took your hand off and I gasped for air, it fell back against my cheek hard

I stopped trying to push you away, tears streaming, afraid you’d hit me again.
I bucked when your course fingers pinched, it only seemed to excite you more.
I cringed as you raked your nails deep down my stomach digging in.
You stopped at the top of my panties before yanking them till they tore.

Panic sliced through me as I felt you unclasping your jeans, understanding swept me.
I knew then what you intended to do and my blood ran cold at the thought.
You took your hand off of my mouth and threatened to kill me if I screamed
But I yelled anyway begging for help, preying that you would be caught.

I was silenced by a stinging blow that sent me hard against the head board.
Too disoriented by it to yell again before you were done taking off my t shirt.
Through blurry eyes and mind I felt your eager hands pillage and explore.
I was smacked again for screaming at how badly your fingers inside me hurt.

You showed no mercy as I screamed in pain against the palm of your hand.
You only continued to probe and play, talking dirty to me, making me talk back.
Through bloodied lips and wrenching pain I was abused by this man
He made me say unmentionable things about him, while he cruelly laughed.


Details | Rhyme | |

Big Boys Don't Cry

Big boys don't cry they say 
But that is simply not true 
For I have shed a million tears 
Since the day that I lost you
It's been a year now since you were called away 
I will always remember the sadness of that day 

I did what was expected of me 
Of a strong and loving son that you wanted me to be 
I held up straight and tall 
My emotions unseen to all 
But my tears flowed free the moment I was alone 
To see your loving face once more I would give all that I own 

Friends wonder how I'm doing now 
As if the pain would disappear somehow 
They don't see my grief and despair 
But it is always there, seen in my lonely silent stare
With each day that passes the pain ebbs and flows 
Comforted by wonderful memories that took a lifetime to sow

I remember your gentle touch 
How you loved me so very much 
I see your smile, the laughter dancing in your eyes
And I marvel at how swiftly time flies
Looking back to when I was a mere child at your knee
Of all the times you comforted and rescued me 

From shadows in the dark, to bullies at the park
Through scrapes and bumps and loves first thumps
Kisses and hugs at graduation 
The looks of total adoration
You were always there, taking care of me 
Guiding and molding me into the man I would be

All of these memories and so many more 
Are forever and ever lovingly stored 
They help ease this pain that I feel all the time
Because you are always on my mind 
Don't worry Mom, I'll be alright 
Soon the darkness will fade leaving only your light 

I know you'll be waiting for me up above 
Until then I know you'll watch over me with love
So until that day when I am in your arms once more 
I will treasure all the memories that I have stored 
So I will say so long, for it's not truly goodbye 
For you are always alive deep in my mind's eye


Details | Free verse | |

On Her Eighth Birthday

                                                                                                                     
(For my Loving Daughter Suzanna Christy)

Seven years before her heart throbbed and mine too,
She was prepared to face to the world with God’s Gift:
Her travail had begun and each of her nerve shivered with thrill,
The Father in Christ in His invisible Presence hath been beside her.

Now I shed tears that speak how she had borne the physical agony,
And my inward eye writes how the day was and today it is.

The tiny blossom within the womb shook the stem of the plant,
And the plant stood fluttering, unshaken, but withstanding.
I now feel how I felt of her personal ordeal for matchless Gift.
God’s Answer in her womb, personified, traversed the way out,
The Invisible Christ held her in His arms during the journey,
It was the journey that none can describe except the Answer in the womb.
Biological apprehensions began to fly out with anguishing threats;
Yet the Heavenly Providence filled the way with His Grace.
Medical engineers acted upon their wit and tools to watch the drama.
The God-sent soul, anxious and hopeful, waited for the little wonder:
‘How could God’s Answer personified be?’
Time was on its wings, minutes flew, seconds galloped.
Engineers’ assistants exchanged responses of sincerity and hopefulness.
The little Answer personified whispered from within the Heavenly Mercy.
Everyone heard the whisper, and the mother too, and she would be a mother.

The clock was in its perfection to chime the melody of the Answer,
And the whole world, dressed in joy and smile, looked in awe and wonder.
It was forty strokes behind the entry of the little Answer:
How could I share my joy and with whom?’
The mother raised a doubt within her.
‘I am with thee, share thy joy and pain with Me,
For I have borne everything for thee on the Cross.’
She heard a voice within and the pain left her,
Joy let its wings fly when the little Answer peeped out the world.
It was seven strokes yet to chime.
Each second was a mystery and the mystery was to be solved.
The trumpet raised its clarion call; the lyre touched its strings,
The firmament, filled with Heavenly Blessings, began to shower on.
The little Answer personified sent forth her first cry,
And the cry was first heard by the Master.
Yes, she was born, and she entered the world.
It was fifty-two strokes past three whistles she was born.
Little fairies began blowing little trumpets,
The mother shouted in joy: ‘THANKS TO MY LORD!
Our answer hath been heard. Thou art my Master.’


Details | Rhyme | |

Mom needs our prayers

My mom is in the hospital and she's very ill.
I hope that God steps in and helps her to heal.
She's in critical condition, one of her legs had to be amputated.
The doctors and nurses have given up hope and I'm devastated.
When she opens her eyes, she doesn't even recognize me.
She and I are very close and if she dies, it will drive me to my knees.
She has a blood clot in one of her lungs and she has a lot of infection.
If a lot of people pray for her, the good Lord might give her protection.
She's in so much pain that it causes her to squirm in her bed.
When my phone rings, it scares me because it might be somebody calling to inform me that she's dead.
If she dies, it will be extremely hard for me and my relatives to cope.
But she's not dead yet so that means there may be hope.
Mom is a great person and if she dies, it will truly be unfair.
It will mean a lot to me and my relatives if she receives your prayers.

(Dedicated to Agnes Johnson, my mom.)


Details | Free verse | |

Mother's Design

Sadness, loneliness, internal hopelessness,
why did she stop listening and caring what was happening in me. 
The other kids, stresses with Dad, betrayal,
or just no time any more. 
When did I lose whatever strength that I had. 
When did I start needing the pain to be salved. 
Certainly by second grade,
by the time of the day dreaming,
staring out of the windows. 
Why has it crippled me so,
continued to starve my heart of its strength and endurance. 
Continued to drain from me creativity and joy. 
So that all I remember is the pain and struggle. 
So that I cry. 
So that my heart hurts. 

This crying is wrong,
this hurting is wrong,
this needing is wrong,
this me is wrong. 

My mother too vivid. 
My pain too awful. 
What was my mother to do? 

Could she have said:
"You're a boy, express yourself, show yourself. 
Be a man. Uncover your nature. 
Show yourself, 
You will need to be virile, whole, engaged, reveling in sensuality to be a man. 
You will need to be smart, in touch, enjoying the game. 
Talk about it.,
Say what you need.  
Ask what you want. 
Go on from there. 
Be, be you."

Tis too late now for that. 
My world is spun. 
It doesn't encourage discovery.
It needs order. 
It needs peacefulness.
It needs relief.


2010


Details | Free verse | |

Letting Him In

You said you love us
And would never hurt us
But then you let him walk into our lifes
Even with everything you know
You wouldn't say no and just walk away
You finally stood your ground
Said never and left him for all he's worth

I hope you never know 
All the things that go through this head
I hope you never know
All the pain that i felt
I hope you never know
All the nights that i lied awake in bed
I hope you never know
All the tears that shot down my face
I hope you never know
All the pain

All the pain you invited in
Just by letting him walk in
All the sorrows you carried in
The ones with no end
All the sleepless nights that would begin
All the tears that have no trace
All the fears I face inside
And all the nightmares that came to be

And all this
Just by letting him in


Details | I do not know? | |

the pain we feel

The pain we feel 
To my mom, miss you so
By-Travis Campbell 



The pain we feel 
is really real
But only in our hearts!

I know it well
been through that hell
for what I do not know?

For when she cried
she tried to hide
her tears were there for me

The torment she endured
could not be cured
No matter how hard I prayed 

For if we look, we will surely find
a love like yours, here in time

The Angeles I see
not just in my dreams
God needs good help sometimes


Details | Lyric | |

Please Dont Let Her Go

The call of a mother
the mean words of her children
the pain that lingers through the years

Her pain suffocates her
dying in a lonely place
waiting to be heard
she turns a lighter color

They try to save her
but their love is not enough
they stand in a white room
waiting for the words 
the words no one wants to hear

Please dont let her go
let her stand oh lord
let her be with us 
let her feel no pain

The lights dimmer

the ceiling falls
their standing underneath the sky
their mother stands before them
she tells them to let go of all the guilt
that has built up for she is safe and okay now

They stand as the light of there mother fades
there alone now standing underneath the black sky


their pain and guilt fades knowing there mother loves them and always will

Dedicated to Granny Helen Caccumise (you were like a mother to me and may you rest in peace)


Details | Rhyme | |

To His Mother

2.03.09

Two women - 
Two women who've lost Him,
Lost Him once and for all.
You - through the pain of childbearing,
I - through cruelties of love...

Two women - 
Two women who've lost Him,
So close and yet so far apart -
So uncompromisingly different
With the very same pain in their hearts...

And even though I may not know You,
Before You I'd stand in deep awe -

You gave me true Hope, always precious -
You gave me the man that I love...


[Dedicated to the Mother of my still beloved A.K...]


Details | Ballad | |

A CASTLE HEARTSTONE MYSTERY

A beautiful girl was born
In secret...
On a spring night
Just before dawn
 
A girl, so fair
A girl, so pretty
Your heart would melt
 
As she grew
Everything she touched
She loved too
The inner peace
Made people turn and sigh
 
In the depths of the Castle
She was kept secret
For the mother knew
The humilation and pain too
 
For the child,
a father was not known
For the mother,
she carried the secret
In her aching heart
On her face, the pain shown
 
The father, so they say
Handsome and charming
Took her heart
Took her love
Then went away
 
A girl, so fair
As beautiful as the day
Often wondered
Of the man
Who took her mothers'
heart away
 
Her mother in despair,
died
A broken heart
No one could repair
 
The girl,
such sorrow
Yet everything 
She touched
She loved too
 
A girl, so fair
Accepted with innate grace
the loss
She could bare
Serenity , upon her face
 
Abeautiful child
Bcame a woman
Eerything she touched
Se loved too
 
On a  spring night
Se must find
Te man who helped bring her ,
in to this world
Eerything she touched
Bcame light
 
Se sensed he was near...
Smething in the wind showing
Whose ripples she could hear
Her fair hair,  blowing
 
A fair wind came
Warm and sweet
from the South
A Prince to meet
 
A South Wind Prince confessed
A daughter to love
A girl, so fair
Everything she touched,
was blessed
 
A tale of love spurned
A mothers' despair
A daughters' love returned
A girl, so fair
Averything she touched
She loved too
With a heart, 
Carried in you


Details | Prose Poetry | |

freedom begets sacrifice

FREEDOM BEGETS SACRIFICE
	The pelican bird says; “even as I wound my peek’
To break the hardest wood’
To continue the lineage,
I won’t get benefit here, but, lives good legacy,
As I passed the agony as they suck me! So they can live.”

The mother snake says; “even as the world detest me, 
I wouldn’t end my being anyway!
But they tear me apart, as they visit the world, 
I know I would kiss the mother earth, 
But, all for the sake of love!”
The mother human; the burdensome load,
That she carries for months,
Not minding the agony of birth,
Or the pain the offspring cause thereafter,
But she has to bear the pain, and free them, for the sake of love.
But, for man to get indefinite freedom,
Since there isn’t rest in life,
She has to sacrifice the body,
To free the soul,
This is because, freedom, begets sacrifice.

 


Details | Lyric | |

?!MOTHER!?

MOTHER you’ve turned your back on me over a 
religion I did not follow
I won’t sit here any more in self-pity and wallow
You’ll NEVER know what I’m all about
Because my love you’ve chosen to do without;
As I’ve grown into an adult, you’ve missed so 
many important things in my life
It’s like you’ve purposely stabbed me in the heart 
with a knife;
You’ve lied to me forever about my dad,
A man I never in my life ever had;
I was a reminder of the father you pushed away
I’m sorry MOTHER if the truth I must say:
I’ve apologized to you over and over, for running 
away too, my one big mistake
Your love for me has always been fake,
You were NEVER there for me in the first place
To you I was nothing but a disgrace,
That’s okay though, I’m now grown
The pain I felt once upon a time, to you will 
remain  unknown;
I  do miss you, think of you often, but I need you 
no more
You used to hurt me to the very core
It has now been so many years
I no longer shed any more tears;
I at one time would sit and wonder what could 
have been, through many days and nights
Sorry I grew up and  you lost your control and 
all your former rights;
I never could do anything to win your heart
You never loved me right from the start,
I wasn’t able to bring you any kind of joy
Why was that MOTHER? YOU told me repeatedly 
it was because I wasn’t a boy,
You couldn’t even be proud of me when I did
wonderfully in school
Dang MOTHER that just wasn’t cool;
In front of others you were so nice
I knew differently, you were cold as ice
It was like living with Jekyll and Hyde
No matter what happened you were never on  my
side;
Several people mourn a mother whom death 
wasn’t able to survive 
While you MOTHER get to be  here very much 
alive,
I used to hate you more that words could say
But no longer I’ve found another way,
I’ve now  let all my past feelings out 
I no longer have to scream and shout
The pain in my heart, mind and soul is now gone, 
and I’ve become the bigger one,
To me this is now the end of us, I don’t fell guilty 
anymore, I am so done;
Finally at last I can close the door in your face
Because GOD has given me peace,  I am now
in a different place!!!!!


Details | Acrostic | |

living candle

                                                             Living candle 
What is a living candle . People thoughts that that the great man of the world is the living candle how gave lights and happiness to the world with his blood like mathma gandi  , neru and 
Bagant singh etc. but can we miss  some body the most important and valuable person in our life’s . who make our  life better and happy  with his blood and his life . think about it who is this person . 
            In my point of view we miss the main person in our life’s.  our mothers who always play a very big role in our life’s  . mothers always treat the children with his blood . we can say that the mother is the other name of living candle who burn herself and give the light of happiness .
          Is our mother refuse any thing or any work that we demand in our homes  or in our life’s . 
I always see my mother while she is  working and rest of his life she always think about success and a good life of his children’s  . I told you a very most important and a very bad moment in my life  . After my father death our fine national conduction of our family is not so good . In dinner and also breakfast  my mother took food in last .  but why. I tell you the reason of this 
She thinks that’s  firstly  her children’s fulfill his demand of food and after that my mother eats a very low amount of food and she told us that her stomach fain  during the large amount of  food  but that is not true I tell you truth it is not the pain of large amount it is pain of hunger . I see many times that my mother eat nothing . it is morality and love of mother for his children’s
So plz thanks your mother giving you  a very happy and good life .. 
                                                                                                                       WRITTEN BY :- TARUN DABAS
                                                                                                               EMAIL:-dabastarun2@gmail.com


Details | I do not know? | |

Dark Light

 Sometimes I feel like falling,
 Or drowning in the rain,
Sometimes I feel like cutting,
To see her face again.
The Shadows of a darker mind,
Twist, confuse and lie,
I never did understand why she had to die,
I see her face in haunting dreams,
Or looking back at me,
She seems to root me to the ground,
When all I want is to flee.
Her morbid beauty chases me,
Like vulchers around meat,
Her stone cold ear upon my chest,
To cocxe my finel beat,
Amogst this all is one smart ray,
A dimond in the mist,
That hold me close to take away,
The razor at my wrist,
The dark and light confuse my brain,
There never ending war,
Mother I love you and always will,
But James I love you more. 


Details | Couplet | |

A Beautiful Season

As I open my eyes the pain shoots through my head
I swear some times I think I would be better off dead

I love my wife, kids and friends, empty they would be
So I’ll remain that lonesome vessel sailing across the sea

They all know that I gave up, gave up all of my dreams
Those of all the power, glory and living blatantly obscene

I had power on the streets and power up in the pen
Know that I was once proud to be the very breath of sin

What is it like once we start trying so hard to change
Know that every facet of our life we must re-arrange 

One day I started teaching about trying to reach our dreams
You see it is blind people that walk through Demons schemes

Demons schemes are hard to see, do you know the reason why
Just like in a storm the clouds will cover, all the blue up in the sky

Demons schemes are like a dream, offering all the pleasure we may feel
Some days for me to not fall back on them, takes every drop of my will

See every single day that I stay clean and stay true to myself
I gain just a little more insight as to what is truly wealth

Wealth is a frame of mind, offering freedom to our soul
I write my poems because I wish to simply reach that goal

And the one thing that I wish, the one thing that keeps me here
Is because I hope that just one soul won’t go, through all my tears

You see I have tasted emptiness that is as cold as cold as can be
I only hope that one of you will learn, Please don’t end up like me

Today is tomorrows past, so make it last, be all that you can be
Praise the Lord every second and say, I wish to live for thee

Storms will come and they will go nothing ever changes that
Trust in God and know in your heart, his love is where its at

He knows our prayers before there spoken as we kneel to pray
Bound to his will as well as time, if our prayers shall come to bay

I Praise him for the pain I’m in because I know he has a reason
And at the end of all the pain, will come a very beautiful season

Yesterday I overdosed so I figured I should add that information in
To be a true example of right we must include even the accidental sin

I could not believe the words I heard as they said you’ve overdosed
Though the taste of death in my mouth was as familiar as buttered toast

See I have tasted death so many times that it is like a long lost friend
My life is still the same only difference is, the truth I will not bend
-----------------------------------------------
This story is the truth and goes with my blog


Details | I do not know? | |

On the life of Women

What is life ?
But of pain and pleasure.
The passion of one woman and one man.
The love of one woman for her offspring.
The hate of one woman for those who have
Walked on when she's fallen.
The guilt of one woman for not being able 
To survive or forgive.
The pain of one woman when 
All she's loved and cared for has been 
Ripped out of her soul.
The life of one woman is one we must endure
And not take advantage of and be happy for,
Because one day that life of one woman
could vanish and may never feel emotion
again.


Details | I do not know? | |

In My Mother's Eyes

When I look into my mother's eyes I can see the pain that she goes through
everyday trying her best to raise me right
But instead I don't even pay attention to her I ignore her as if she wasn't
there
Giving her a hard time disrespecting her and not following by her rules
thinking I'm grown just doing my own thing
On the streets hanging with the wrong people selling weed and getting
high with my buddies as if I don't have a mother
And when I come home it gets even worser
She cuss and yells at me asking me where I been
I lie to her and say that I was at school knowing that I was out hanging
with my buddies
When my mother hears sirens her blood pressure hits the roof praying to
God hoping that it ain't me
26   
And when she watches the news her heart skips a beat hoping that she
doesn't see me on TV.
My mother is stress out and worry all because of me
And when I look into her eyes I can see the pain crying in tears praying
that I change
But I'm too hard headed and bold to change
So mama before you rest your eyes and sleep
Always remember that I love you in a crazy way but I will never change


Details | ABC | |

looking thru children eyes

I always wonder if I look thru a child eyes what would I see. Seeing there parents arguing and fighting for nothing.
Figuring out if it there fault for them fighting. Seeing there mother crying and wonder if they should go and comfort her.
Seeing if there brother or sister see the pain mommy going thru. Hoping mommy and daddy kiss and make up.


Details | Rhyme | |

Mother

As you lie there in pain hurting as you are
Our hearts go out to you, whether we are near or far
No matter what our differences have been until this day
We get down on our knees, every night and pray
Asking God to ease your pain, and to hold your hand
No matter where you go, no matter where you land

Your life is oh so precious, we love you Mom we do
We know that there are times that you think this is not true
But whether we have talked, or if we see each other
It will never change the fact that we love you our dear mother!

Your time is growing short, as your life it slips away
So I am asking God to guide you, each and everyday
To let you go on, where pain you'll feel no more
And paradise you'll find ,as you enter through that door

Mom, you taught us all, that God had intended to
Be shown upon your children, so they know what to do
Lessons in life you have tried to teach us all
Some of us may stand and some of us may fall
We were given you, to love us now and forever
The greatest plan from God, was You, and it was clever

So mom go walk that path, that brings you to your love
And be with Dad and God, in Heaven up above
Don't fight this anymore, just close your eyes and go
For this is what is best, for this we know is so

We'll say our goodbyes now, please know we all love you
We'll miss you even more, but mom this you must do
We'll hold your hand, as you leave us here today
To go to a better place, and be with God to stay

Mom we'll be ok, we want whats best for you 
Your tired and your weak, for this we know is true
Your always in our hearts, but this you know is best
We love you mom, now please, go with God and rest!


Details | Verse | |

Loss

‘Do not fear’, she told me
as I measured the value of carrying on
with a life with a gap, 
with a life on my own.

‘Your pain will diminish’, 
was a covenant she made
without a lie in her voice, 
but with an ephemeral attempt.

We balanced each other’s pain
for less than a year and a half.
Then a man tempted her away
and a plague sickened my heart.

I have thrust away her love
like she pushed away my being.
Now a chasm lies between us,
which I have dug despite my craving 
to cross to the other side, 
to throw my arms around her, 
to accept the other guy, 
their communion and their ardor.

I don’t seek to ruin
the security that she built,
but I wish that she could see
how alone for years I’ve felt. 

My pain never diminished,
but its intensity has augmented.
Now I mourn for not one loss,
but a second that I’ve created.


Details | I do not know? | |

To Shermane

U SAID DNT WORRY BOUT U CUZ U'LL B FINE

N U DNT WANNA C FEAR 4 U N MY EYES

U KNO I CANT HELP IT BUT SEEIN ME STAY STRONG HELPS U GO ON

I KNO THAT U NEVER STAY DOWN THERE'S NO BATTLE U HAVENT WON

BELIEVE IT OR NOT UR MY STRENGTH, UR MY DRIVE

I WISH U CAN B AROUND US ALL THE TIME

SEEIN U SMILE MAKES ME SMILE 2

SEEIN U HURT MAKES ME HURT 2

N DATS CUZ WEN UR N PAIN THERE'S NUTHIN I CAN DO

I HAVE 2 WATCH U GO THRU UR PHASE

IT MAKES ME GO INSANE 

2 SEE MY MOTHER GO THRU SUCH A THING

ITS OVERWHELMIN N IM STRESSIN

I SIT N THINK Y DO U HAVE 2 GO THRU THIS

AND IM TRYIN MY BEST 2 SWALLOW THIS

Y DO THINK IM ALWAYS AT HOME?

I DONT WANNA HANG WIT MY FRIENDS CUZ I DONT WANNA LEAVE U ALONE

U R SUCH A INSPIRATION 

U NEVA SHOW UR N PAIN SO NO ONE WILL EVA KNO UNLESS U SHARE IT WIT DEM

I THINK ANYONE WHO SICK N HAS KIDS SHOULD SHARE IT WIT DEM

TELL UR KIDS EVEN AT A YOUNG AGE

SO THEY WILL KNO THERE'S A CHANCE DEY'LL NEVA C U AGAIN

U TAUGHT ME ABOUT ILLNESS 

U TAUGHT ME ABOUT DEATH

SO I KNEW WAT DEY WERE I JUS COULDNT ACCEPT IT

NOT MY MAMA NOPE NOT HER!

SHE'S SUPERWOMAN N NUTHIN CAN HARM HER


Details | I do not know? | |

Stress and Pain

One big happy said fairytale
Take the pain and no gain
Take the slights and not retribution
Take it all in without an out.

Exploding from the inside out
In silence, crying, hurting, writhing in pain and misery
Never knowing what it’s like to be just okay
Never knowing what it’s like to have love unconditional

Hated and revered 
Don’t show them the pain 
They don’t understand,
You are the one that is in wrong. 

Take it all 
Deal with it
Live with it
It’s your fault he’s like this

You carried him
You made him the way he is. 
Deal with the pain and suffering
Deal with the stress and the dirty looks

It’s always your fault 
No one else’s 
You should know that by now. 
Take you punishment and like it

God’s listening but this is his plan
Pain and suffering for those that screw up
No love for those that dare to be of a different mold. 
No salvation for the wicked souls of men

Shut it up 
Swallow it down
No one cares
No one’s around

No tears will make a difference
No whining will help the cause
No yelling will change people’s minds
No matter what you do you won’t be accepted


So….why try? 
Be yourself no one else
If they don’t like to hell with them
To hell with you and your self loathing


Details | Rhyme | |

My loss experience

This pain makes me wonder
Is there ever a day
When everything can go right
And this world is as curl as they say
My spirit is writhing slowly away
My mind can't bring itself to obey
My thoughts are racing 
Short of what could have been
The realization slowly sinking in
I had to see it for myself
Halfway in halfway out
These feelings are going nowhere 
Myself without a doubt
It's crazy how life works
Just stones within the dirt
Mortality taking over
Lifeline can counted through a four leaf clover
This pain has left me shaken
My soul slowly breaking
Where is it when I need it
Just really can't believe this
Your gone just like that
My whole world has just been attack
I don't know where I'm going with this
Or if I will ever bounce back
The days are getting longer
My mind is getting stronger
These challenges at hand 
Make room for fantasyland
When my thoughts become dangerous
On the rocks I lay
We pray this one makes it through another day
With the mindset and a new timeframe 


Details | Free verse | |

Gods Christmas Gift

It was one of those times; one of those sincere discussions;
She told me about my fathers words to her when he was on his death bed.
What he asked her may seem funny to some;
What he asked her was to make sure I had a warm jacket and shoes every winter.
At the time I was already in my forties but I guess it didn’t matter to him.

Then we talked about the time we walked in to his hospital room;
My father immediately said he was confused.
I asked him “Dad do you know who I am”?
He said yes I do but why are you so old and she’s so young;
He was pointing at my wife Susan; but I knew it wasn’t her he saw.

He was seeing my mother long passed; here’s the thing about that;
I saw that my wife had the same spirit as my mother years before.
We all believe my mother was there to take him and who better to use as a catalyst.
I never had a chance to see my mother but I know her; she lives in me and is part of me.
I couldn’t see her right then but I could feel her and I could see Susan too.

As we talked we both had tears in our eyes and I think we were both a bit overwhelmed;
I could see how lifetime experiences can never be forgotten or dismissed.
So I asked her why she betrayed me like she did;
And that I could maybe forgive her if I could just understand why.
When she spoke I heard truth and I finally understood why.

So I forgave her and accepted the circumstances and the part I played in it all;
To what end remains to be seen but the pain seems to have been lifted from me.
As we broke the conversation off I began to reflect on the entire topic;
There were no definitive conclusions but what I did feel was;
My Father and my Mother had come to see me for Christmas.

Call me crazy, tell me it’s wishful thinking; even say I’m delusional;
I saw it, I heard it and I felt it; it happened and I won’t be denied.
I learned to be a real man from the pain I suffered;
My ego and sex no longer dominate or motivate my relationships;
And God in his mercy gave me the best Christmas ever


Details | Blank verse | |

Take Away The Pain

I still remember the nights 
Three year back 
When you beat her... 
And left me father-less. 

I hate what you did, 
but I can't stay mad for long. 
It's not good to hold grudges 
I guess I have to move on. 

But I will never forget 
How selfish you were 
To leave us 
Abandoned. 

Forgiving you is hard. 
Harder than some think. 
To say it is one thing... but to do it... 
Is harder. 

One day I'll find it in my heart, 
To forgive you, 
But will it be now? 
I know not. 

The pain left in my heart, 
The hope of finding a new father, 
Was lost, 
When you decided to "use your rights". 

The only reason I went 
To your "house" 
Was because you brainwashed me 
To believe that you were the good guy. 

But when I found out you were not the good guy 
And that I had a choice on whether to go or not, 
Do you think I would go, 
After what you've done? 

Being brainwashed for 2 years is... 
Too long... 
Especially when pain abides 
In your heart. 

You had me being optimistic, 
Hoping for some outcome of your goodness, 
But that optimism soon faded away 
When the pain got stronger. 

The day whe I forgive you 
Will be the day 
That the pain 
Goes away.  


Details | Rhyme | |

A CHILDS CRY

laying in bed looking up at the ceiling 
my eyes got blurry, and my head started reeling. 
I saw a vision start to take form 
of a child who was unborn. 
this child was in the womb of its mother 
being fed by the tube to give it life. 
he turned and looked straight at me 
and its eyes were as big as can be. 
he raised his small little hand 
and signaled me to look inside. 
it was something that he could not hide. 
the vision came closer to me 
just so that I could see. 
I saw the pain that this child was in 
because his mother was 
thinking to abort 
and for the last two months he had fought. 
all the features that GOD was creating 
was thought by the mother 
of becoming belated. 
this young mother was under peer pressure 
to take this Childs life 
and it did not matter if it was wrong or right. 
this young child was screaming at me 
'how could they let this be' 
I am life given by the lord 
why would she want to abort. 
tell her to give me a chance 
so that I could live in the warmth 
of her arms, and fill her heart with joy. 
it would matter not, if I’m a girl or a boy. 
can't she feel me, and see me 
in her dreams at night 
and that I’m in a perilous fight. 
I want to live just like she 
there is nothing wrong with me. 
the vision started to fade away 
and in my heart, I started to pray 
let this child live another day 
and from this woman the pain to go away. 
LIFE IS SACRED, DON'T THROW IT AWAY 
IF YOUR MOTHER THOUGHT LIKE YOU 
YOU WOULDN’T BE HERE TODAY.
Louis rams


Details | Free verse | |

Who is to Blame


To blame or not to blame my mother for scars that won't heal, for life's every tear, for pain endured, whether inflicted by others or myself. To blame or not to blame my mother for my mistakes or for obstacles placed in my path, for heart break and heart ache, loss of love. I have climbed mountains to find waiting on the otherside an awe-inspiring sunrise streaming through the clouds. I have walked through dark valleys in fear only to discover the splendor of the brightest stars in the night sky. I am amazed by the strength received from a moment of weakness, the peace from fear, the satisfaction felt after the struggle. I have taken the wrong path then later, found the right one...the narrow one. No, I will not blame but thank my mom for the mountains, valleys, obstacles and pain endured I will thank her for the ability to overcome, to persevere, to understand the fine line between a curse and a blessing for love, hope, faith My mom has taught me survival. She is a survivor. When today is a challenge, I look up and know where my help comes from. I believe in me, I believe in tomorrow, Thanks to my mother. April 3, 2012 for Blame it on the Rain Contest (Black Eyed Susan)


Details | Bio | |

A Better Tomorrow

Since we were young hes always been the one the families all seen it hes ur favorite son he can go to rehab and get in trouble to he can do what he wants but thats okay with you im sorry im not his daughter im sorry you hate me so much im sorry im not perfect i rather not keep in touch although u may deny it deep down you know its true everyone else sees it why can't you see it to i didn't mean to take advantage im depressed all the time although you may not see it faking a smile is my crime of all the *****i've been thru and all the *****you have done i thought that you would be there but no your there for your son if i could have a wish him i would come from cause maybe then you would love me and i wouldn't feel so dumb you may read this note and you probably will get mad but now you know my pain and you would know my heart is sad all i wanted was for your love and your blessing to but theres not enough room for me cause hes your favorite son its true so im erasing you from my life im going to try to move on cause this pain i feel is real and i just want it gone so farewell to you mother i hope you have a great life i hope your man is the one maybe you'll be his wife but your just a distant memory a shadow from the past was it all worth it the hatred spell you cast although i shed my tears i wipe them away with sorrow maybe i'll be someones favorite i hope for a better tomorrow


Details | Light Poetry | |

Tears of blood

Once I though I was invincible
That life will last forever
Now when I look in the mirror
I see that I was not that very clever

The tomorrow that was far away
Is now here today
And I can’t remember yesterday
But I am stuck in it somewhere

The love that had elude me
All of my lonely life
Showed its face again
Only to stabs me like a knife

Now I have to learn to live again
While Tears of blood fall from my heart
And I will never blame her
Because I was not honest from the start

I don’t know how to stop my pain
That’s taking the life out of me
I wish god would take my life
And put me out of my misery

I am so tired of hurting
And I don’t know what to do
Why did god treat me so cruel?
By showing me the magic of you

If he knows it was not going to happen
Why did he make me meet you?
How can he just stand and look
Can’t he see the pain I’m going through?

Am I not a human being?
Have I not done my good deed?
How can he make me hungry for love?
And then not let me get feed

How can god show me love?
And turn his back as on me
I prayer that my mother forgives me
When she laid me to rest in the cemetery

Mother your son was hurting
And he never told anyone how much
But he fell in love with a girl
And couldn’t live without her touch

Please forgive me for the pain I cause
But I just couldn’t live with her
And I couldn’t prayer to god
Because its he who made me suffer

He who send her to me
Like an angel from above
And he know we were so different
But still he made me fall in love

I just love her so much
And it hurts so badly
Because it will take only a miracle
Form her to marry me

They say love don’t discriminate
And that love is blind
So now i hope and wish
That she will be mine

But she said a second chance
Means to say good bye
So mother please forgive me
Without her I had to die


Details | I do not know? | |

Rains, Legends of the Wolves

Toddlers teeter on the hollowed trunks and sport with juts of ice. 'Cross boulder bridges, flouting rapids, hop the agile blond and beige. Yet in close chase, for or found, and on uneven ground, they’ll slip. Clots in black and rose bespatter tans and whites. Though clouds may cope the flights of cubs and fawns in torrents spirit laden, steps shan’t be erased, where o’er plight’s edge they’re furrowed. Would least the cliff lay lad to nestle upon drifts of pedals fallow or as cradled by green swaths of summer blades. For if to hope, the whelp when bade need but renounce a bed of clover, might a father’s beckon stern retrieve the slain. But scolds can echo no reprieve where o’er forever’s precipice the yearling brown has left the seasons scarlet stained. Though with the day’s advance, a glance would chance the fact all tracks do fade, in the havens gray, in every trace, we dawdle. It’s the cleft that blanched a mother’s face. Bereft, her tears are gained. And blood ‘s been shed till never, like the rains.


Details | Narrative | |

The Road To Peace- part four

I like to think that I learned how to be a good mother
By never doing it the way that you did.
I know that no matter how hard it gets
I never will take one second with them for granted.

I will love them every moment I have with them
And succeed in making sure they know it.
So that they can grow up surrounded in trust and love
And never be too afraid to show it.

I would never allow their fears to go un-noticed.
I would die trying to protect them from that world.
I will never rush them, or fail to protect them.
They will be free to enjoy being little boys and girls.

Pride will fill me where jealousy filled you,
As I nurture them and watch them grow
Though I cherish their childhoods more than anything,
I look forward to watching their lives unfold.

Of them taking on the world, enjoying its beauty.
Becoming strapping young men and lovely young ladies.
I dream of them finding a love like I found with their Daddy
And of holding my perfect Grandbabies.

I used to want you to pay for my pain.
I used to dream of ways to make you feel like I did.
I still wish you had had more compassion than to lean on me.
You were my mother, I was just a kid.

But I no longer wish you any more pain or revenge
Because I have risen so high above that, I can’t even see you.
Because you’re still in that world I ran so far away from,
Surrounded in that pain I once was so used to

And knowing that I will have everything you denied yourself
Because of your hideous and unforgettable actions,
I am finally free to find more worth while adventures,
Other uses for my emotions, and my passions.

This finality is like cutting through the last bar of the cage
And finally freeing that dark and abused beast.
into the sunlight where she is free and beautiful
Because unlike you, in my children’s eyes, I found my peace.



Details | Acrostic | |

living candle

                                                             Living candle 
What is a living candle . People thoughts that that the great man of the world is the living candle how gave lights and happiness to the world with his blood like mathma gandi  , neru and 
Bagant singh etc. but can we miss  some body the most important and valuable person in our life’s . who make our  life better and happy  with his blood and his life . think about it who is this person . 
            In my point of view we miss the main person in our life’s.  our mothers who always play a very big role in our life’s  . mothers always treat the children with his blood . we can say that the mother is the other name of living candle who burn herself and give the light of happiness .
          Is our mother refuse any thing or any work that we demand in our homes  or in our life’s . 
I always see my mother while she is  working and rest of his life she always think about success and a good life of his children’s  . I told you a very most important and a very bad moment in my life  . After my father death our fine national conduction of our family is not so good . In dinner and also breakfast  my mother took food in last .  but why. I tell you the reason of this 
She thinks that’s  firstly  her children’s fulfill his demand of food and after that my mother eats a very low amount of food and she told us that her stomach fain  during the large amount of  food  but that is not true I tell you truth it is not the pain of large amount it is pain of hunger . I see many times that my mother eat nothing . it is morality and love of mother for his children’s
So plz thanks your mother giving you  a very happy and good life .. 
                                                                                                                       WRITTEN BY :- TARUN DABAS
                                                                                                               EMAIL:-dabastarun2@gmail.com


Details | Couplet | |

A Moment of Love

To the shadows of forgotten ghost
Let us all propose a toast

Wasting away their lives in the pen
I once shared in the banquet of sin

I often think of the people I know
Warriors who once shared my soul

Back to back we fought on the yard
Prison made us all cold and hard

I receive letters almost everyday
From damn good men who are wasting away

Asking favors to which I must comply
Taking flowers to mothers who break down and cry

I often taste my own broken heart
Consoling a mother who is falling apart

I have many mothers know it is true
But my own mother I never knew

Just try to inhale the pain of my plight
I have to deliver more flowers tonight

Dear Lord have mercy for heavens sake
I really don’t know how much more I can take

I feel pain few people ever know
As I let the tears soften my soul

Gaining strength from the good Lord up above
So I can offer another mother a moment of love


Details | Acrostic | |

living candle

                                                             Living candle 
What is a living candle . People thoughts that that the great man of the world is the living candle how gave lights and happiness to the world with his blood like mathma gandi  , neru and 
Bagant singh etc. but can we miss  some body the most important and valuable person in our life’s . who make our  life better and happy  with his blood and his life . think about it who is this person . 
            In my point of view we miss the main person in our life’s.  our mothers who always play a very big role in our life’s  . mothers always treat the children with his blood . we can say that the mother is the other name of living candle who burn herself and give the light of happiness .
          Is our mother refuse any thing or any work that we demand in our homes  or in our life’s . 
I always see my mother while she is  working and rest of his life she always think about success and a good life of his children’s  . I told you a very most important and a very bad moment in my life  . After my father death our fine national conduction of our family is not so good . In dinner and also breakfast  my mother took food in last .  but why. I tell you the reason of this 
She thinks that’s  firstly  her children’s fulfill his demand of food and after that my mother eats a very low amount of food and she told us that her stomach fain  during the large amount of  food  but that is not true I tell you truth it is not the pain of large amount it is pain of hunger . I see many times that my mother eat nothing . it is morality and love of mother for his children’s
So plz thanks your mother giving you  a very happy and good life .. 
                                                                                                                       WRITTEN BY :- TARUN DABAS
                                                                                                               EMAIL:-dabastarun2@gmail.com


Details | I do not know? | |

These words

A girl
A boy
A mother
And father

Share their pain
In a way 
That we don’t understand
In a way that seems absurd

The girl sheds a tear on a lost soul
The boy carves a spear in buries it in a hole
The mother burns her clothes in a matter of despair
And the father hides himself in the dark lair

We don’t know why they do these things
Why they endure so much misery
We don’t want to even look on the choices
For so much pain should not be made

We all are the mother and the father
The girl and boy
We all have our pain 
We endure the same misery

But listen close and hear my words
There is a savior who takes your tears
And washes your face in the river of yesteryear
Give him your problems make it better

This I tell you 
And this you should do


Details | I do not know? | |

A home I Can Call my Own

My Papa died before mama born me 
And mama leave me before I could see 
In the dweeling house of the faithful. 
The people give me everything 
Nourinshing my soul by teaching me 
But I feel something is missing 
In my heart,emptiness is there 
And seeking for it is the only answer 
So I leave the place,which they call my"home" 
With the pormise in my heart 
I will keep the memories of this place 
And the only hope that I have 
Is the picture of a woman in my hand 
I didn't know the world where I stay 
Is different from the world I am walkin in 
But with my courage and faith 
I will walk this path of hardness 
Even though I will be one of the people 
Sleep in the street,felling cold and hanger 
I will carry all just for the woman in the picture 
God hear my agony during the lonely nights 
So He lead me to the house 
Where this woman in the picture stay 
I'm very happy and excited,I knock on the door 
the old woman in uniform open the door 
Ask me who I want and what I want 
So I tell her the reason and show her the picture 
And this is the woman  say: 
"Your mother come back after she elope 
With the gardener of this house,she love most 
And your gandfather accept her 
With the condition follow his order 
And that is to forget she have a daughter 
Because having you in this house is a big scandal 
For the family belong to the royal blood 
But your mother love you so much 
She tried to escape from the guard 
To look for you in the place where she left you 
But she fall in the window and died 
To avoid the guards watching her all the time 
And like the old saying"sorry always come last" 
Your grandfather died because of too much pain in the heart 
Blaming himself for the death of your mother 
But before he died he look for you 
Hoping that seeing you will ease the pain he felt 
But your grandpa didn't got a chance 
Because like your mother, he die " 
My tears dropping after hearing what she say 
Knowing I have no chance to say"mama" 
And the cemetery is the only place 
Where I could see her 
And the first word "Hi" I want to say when I see her 
Will be the start of saying good bye. 
I left the place where everyone love and care for me 
To look for the woman who give birth of me 
Hoping with her we could start a home 
A home that I can call really my own.







Details | Light Poetry | |

NEVER FOFGOTTEN

Its been years since i last saw your face
I still think about you each and every day
Will the pain of losing you ever go away

I used to believe in God and the heavens in the sky
I never use to ask the question why
Whenever innocent people would die

But now i refuse to have faith and believe
When someone so close has been taken from me 
My mother whom i loved

I can see you now looking so ill
If only there could have been more time for us to fill
You were being taken from us to the other side
The fact that i was so scared was making me temporarily blind

How i wish i could see you today and tomorrow
Wondering how long it will be leaves me in sorrow
I have no choice but to wait
How long that will be is decided by fate

Now when i look back at the good times we shared
I remember those days with a tear of joy
They seem so long ago now i was just a boy
I hope now when we next meet  we will have forever
I pray we will have eternity together

At least now you suffer no pain 
And your soul has been set free
I look forward to the next day we meet
I hope you will be proud of the man i have turned out to be


Details | Rhyme | |

True Love

When I first looked at you;
I knew it was a love long overdue.

I carried you for 9 months;
Waiting for the day that you would come.

As time went by, my tummy grew;
And all the while, I knew;

When that special day came;
I knew the pain would go away.

But the pain was there to say;
I had a precious baby coming my way.

I never really knew what real love was;
Until the day we met, I knew it was love.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Healer's touch

A women takes her son to a healer.
He has pain in his leg sometimes we have to carry him.
We have travelled very far to see you she say’s.
The healer watches and smiles.
Her son tries to bend down but he can’t do it, 
His mum helps him and he touches the healers feet. 
The healer smiles and touches the boy’s leg.
The healer tells them they can go.
The mother is shocked as they start to walk away.
Suddenly the boy starts saying there is no pain in 
my leg I can walk.
The mother quickly turns around but there is no one there.


Details | Free verse | |

Slits

A dozen slits upon her arms, just a couple 
On her legs. She feels her pain is relieved
But, would rather she be dead? 
She slits her wrists, two wide cuts.
The blood drips down her arms.
Tears fall down her face
As she realizes, just what she's done. 
She lies there on her bathroom floor
As tears roll down her cheeks. 
Her body goes limp from what she's done, 
She is so very weak.
Her mother walks in at this site,
Her daughter begins to weep.
Her mother holds her very tight
She helps her to her feet.
What little strength she has left, gets her
To her bed, there lies no harm in her 
Mother's arms. She cried, "I love you mom"
"I love u too my dear" mom says
As her daughter died that day.


Details | Free verse | |

I will follow you into the dark

"I wish you would just unclench your fists and let go of all your pain and hurt.
It doesn't help to keep it bottled up inside.
I can see it...
Eating away at you
Eating you from the inside
The pain and worry is sucking you dry.
Its taking everything into its black hole 
All that you have left is anger and worry
And pain
Your worriying is taking up all of your energy. 
'Stop it.
Stop yelling at me
You are hurting me 
I love you and I want you better.'
'Can't you see Christan?'"

"I wish that you would just leave me alone.
Let me wallow in my pain.
Let me sit here in the dark
You are so quick to help
When you are part of the problem
You make me angry
You make me mother you
I take care of you and watch over you 
I do everything for you mother.
Why can't you just let me go?"

"I can't" she said, facing the empty black hole where I was slanding.
"I will follow you into the dark"

She said as she stepped across the threshold of my mind
Entering this strange place
My dark bitter heart echoing around her.
"I will follow you into the dark." she said.


Details | Verse | |

My Daily Cries

People are always selling these true LIES!

I have seen more pain with these EYES.
Than generations before, and after ME, 

Will see after the T.V., shows episodes of their LIFETIMES!
Leaving you in a state of speechless like MIMES!

This much pain is not healthy for any human MIND.
I was forced from a young age, 

To be my family backbone and SPINE!
Oh how I wish God TIME,
 	
Could REWIND!
The clocks hands keep TICKING!

My mom keeps TRIPPIN!
Telling me I’m following in my father FOOTSTEPS!

Cursing me, 
like it was my fault,
she was not always RESPECTED!

Like it was my fault, by my father, she was NEGLECTED!
Why does she blame me for his FAULTS!

Like it’s really my FAULT!
He’s LOST!
Even if he could be FOUND,
I don’t think I would, even want him NOW!

I can honestly say to you,
I have a father with no FACE!
A father with no HEART!
A father with no RESPONSIBILITIES!

 My mother say, everything that is in my father, lives on in ME!

I’ll never understand!
Why she hates me? Does she see, 
some of my father characteristics,
in my PERSONALITY

Although I fight all of the time, 
With the thought of being just like my DADDY!

Sometimes I feel like him wanting to disown and abandon his FAMILY!

Then I realize they are all I HAVE!

My mother was forced to be my MOM and my DAD!

My father left me to all by MYSELF.
To pursue his “own” life and his “own” personal WEALTH!

Not UNDERSTANDING!
His WEALTH! 
Was here with him always by his side STATNDING!

This, he could not SEE!
He looked at the family life, 
as the white man, 
often looks at ME!

As my ancestors, 
Looked at the chains on their feet,
Wanting to be FREE!
As my black generations looked at SLAVERY!

With so much pain! Hate! ANIMOSITY!
Showing so much HOSTILITY! 
Where is this God? They say! Arose from the DEAD! 

Why have this living thorn! Through his family been forced to be the HEAD!


Details | Rhyme | |

Heartache Museum

She sits in the corner of a roach filled room
Her mother is nowhere in sight
She writes her pain with pen and paper
Trying to break free of the night

The pen and paper, her only friends
A refuge from the fear inside
The tear stained paper tells of her sorrow
And the pain she can no longer hide

She writes of a father she's never known
The hero, she carries in her heart
Gone on to Heaven, when she was only three
Ripping her whole world apart

Her mother now forced to work two jobs
But still they barely survive
When she writes with her heart in her lonely corner
That's the only time she feels alive

And whenever her poems are finished
She tapes them on all of the walls
They decorate the kitchen and bathroom
And all the way down the halls

This paper and ink is her unseen soul
She hangs them so everyone can see them
Her walls now tell this little girl's story
It's become her heartache museum



Details | Prose Poetry | |

Divine Intervention

Beautiful little girl
Devastatingly beautiful
The birds would start chirping when she walked past
Her mother’s daughter they all said
A mirror image
 
And suddenly she was shocked by love
5 years old being undressed like a doll
Caressed and bathed so lovingly
Such gentle touches
That no one suspected
 
Mother found a new piece to her heart
Wedding bells chimed
And a new father was born
5 years old she was…just 5
 
This beautiful little girl found love in her “new” father’s arms
He held her close, sometimes too close
But no one suspected
She didn’t know this love was pain wearing a mask
She learned that love was…
Shielded from the eyes of her mother
Night visits to her room from her father
Year after year
For 15 years this was the love she knew
 
She felt invaded, alone and abused
She told her mother
About her new father…the man her mother loved
She didn’t acknowledge, wouldn’t bring herself to see
What the water so clearly replayed in her view
The mother knew, just knew
That her husband would, couldn’t ever
Never…bring pain to his daughter, never
 
Little girl, what does it feel like to be loved?
It feels warm, and wrong but gentle
Strong hands unclothing you
Caressing your body as if you are a grown woman
With a glorified body to worshipped and pillaged over
Little girl, what does pain feel like?
Closed doors…darkness…my father…naked
Hopeless
 
Beautiful little girl
Devastatingly beautiful
Pain paraded as love
Molestation masked for discipline
When your daughter cries out
When she cowers in corners
And doesn’t trust the dark
When she says love is just another word
Just another synonym to let him abuse her
Trust what she has to say…
 
I was that beautiful little girl and now I am a woman plagued with fears
Some nightmares you cannot outrun
And some memories only God can wipe away
The blood of all my pain is on my mother’s hands
"I forgive you"
Beautiful they say…
It’s a mask for something more


Details | Bio | |

The Mask

The mask that i wear is about not expressing

myslf, i can't do it alone i need some



I can't do this alone I need some help.My grandmother has cancer and goes

through a lot of pain and agony, no longer

can she take care of the family. She moans 

and groans, never does she laugh. I could

see why: who would laugh with pain like 

that. I could see the african americans now 

running to freedom, they weren't slaves 

nobody could keep 'em. Like moses who freed 

over 300 slaves, she stayed in the water 

where she would wade. I can't wear this mask 

any longer, to take it of i must stay 

stronger.


Details | I do not know? | |

Turning The Pain On You

You don't know me at all 
Didn't help you watched me fall 
Do you know anything about me? 
Do you even know what I yearn to be 
How can you lie to people about my life 
Your just angry and tired of being a house wife 
I know that your ashamed of me 
Didn't want others to know I was attending GED 
Saying I had finished school 
Making me feel pain and look a fool 
I messed up because of you 
And everything you put me through 
Did you know I love books 
No you didn't you never bothered to look 
Said that I was a bad child 
Thats funny your my mom but never around 
How can I be the worst when I've done nothing 
Even with all that I continue hurting 
Calling me out my name 
How do you expect me to stay sane 
Taking his side as if he cares When he hurt you your kids were there 
The pain he put you through 
Now you act as if were the liars and his words are true 
You used to be so strong 
He made you weak and I'm telling  you your wrong 
You judged me now it's my turn 
I want you to fell the pain and burn 
We both know what he did to us 
But you push me away and him you trust 
Your family is very ungrateful 
Very bitter and hateful 
I just want you to open your eyes 
Yearn for you to break down and cry 
Tell me that you really need me 
Say your sorry for hurting me and free me 
Tell me you want to be hugged 
I want you to know what it feels like to crave for love 
As you do this trying to be free 
I'd know you  felt my kind of pain and misery. 
  Poetry  


Details | I do not know? | |

Origin Of Tears

Tears of a bitter past,
And a hopeless tomorrow,
All for joys that never last,
And a memory drowned by sorrow.

Tears of a forgotten son,
For the parents he's never known.
Afraid of what he hasn't done,
And of living all alone.

Tears of the mother
Who was left to die,
And the pain from another
Who never said goodbye.

Tears for a happy end,
That we all hope is there,
For a broken heart to never mend,
And the pain you cannot bare.


Details | Free verse | |

Luxury

The whispering of a rich Victorian clock sounds ever so appealing
With a mahogany table and a vase with 24 full stemmed roses on display
And a mirror at the end of the hallway
 I can’t really contain my delight of
Luxury
For when I open my eyes I will be here
Counting the few dollar bills in my hand
I love that feeling
When I can lay down and instead of counting time I could count happiness
When I could see my people not labor in vain
No matter how much money I make it’s always going to stay the same
It’s harder to live than to die without a coin in my purse and a frown on my brow
Everlasting torture I receive when I view that house on the hill
Full of nice things I’ll probably never have and never will
It gets harder when it’s cold and my mother has to work outside
For a couple of dollars an hour and with pain in her backside
And  no matter how hard I try to rub it out
The pain will stay in her eyes
And my brother and sisters cry for a better life so I work
Pulling an halfass job on minimum wage just to get by
Vindicate me please, I can’t live on the tips you give me
I might seem materialistic but the things I need aren’t free, 
Damnit
I try not to ask for much but 
I’ll give my soul my life my heart my dreams for that tiny light of hope
That I seldom get to see
And someday my mother will have that house with as many rooms as she wants
And my father will no longer have to work overtime to afford the food we eat on 
our dining room table
I swear as soon as I get my degree
I’m a little selfish, a little too smart, and a bit too confident
But that’s the ingredients it takes to get past you and take what you have


Details | I do not know? | |

Memories

It is now almost a year ago
You took your bags and I watched you go
I think this pain will never end
You’re not just my mum but my best friend
I know the pain that you went through 
For it’s hard to believe but I felt it too
I know it is not all that bad
I just can’t help getting sad
I know quite well you had to leave
I seem the only one who is to grieve
But I remember our laughter and our tears
The joys we still have and the fears
I’m sad it had to turn out like this
But at least you’re still near fr me to kiss
When times get bad and I’m stuck
You’re around for a great big hug
Thanks for being a number one mum
For when you need me I will come


Details | Free verse | |

The day after

Life, by which a mothers death begins my 
forlorn voyage of this forsaken life without hope, 
followed by dreadful visions 
of a world alone.

Death visits with a single slash of a sickle 
from witch an empty shell of a body remains, as I’m left within the
abyss of blackness that misery 
bestows upon me.  

The world around me mutates and folds, 
as the innocents of a child’s mind is 
mutilated, and embodied with 
the eyes of a mans 
tormented soul.

Flesh and blood with arms wide open, 
guiding me home as I am tethered to 
a chain, accompanied with the weight 
of the world, imprisoning me from 
a normal existence of life.

Trap set with hopes of capturing a 
love unconditionally  with 
warming eyes of hope accompanied 
by a soothing voice of security that is 
necessary to a child scared and 
alone to the big would 
around me.

Abandoned at such a young age, 
brings in walls and barriers that 
allows this grief stricken boy shelter 
from the pain held deep within 
my soul allowing access to 
no one.

Within the years to follow a young man
 now has to live with the profound pain and agony 
ensnared within my heart, buried 
deep, protecting myself from the 
torment that my future foretells,
 awaiting to cripple  and maim
 this already broken hart.



Details | Couplet | |

Another Holiday

It is yet another holiday without my kids,
And once again I feel the urge to keep the pain hid.

No one knows how truly alone I feel.
They just tell me in time I will heal.

How can I get over this though?
This is the most excruciating pain I know!

It is not physical but a pain of the heart.
It is unfair to keep mother and child apart.

There are days that my emotions are so raw,
I just want someone or something to cleave and claw.

This is pure agony at its best.
I no longer have a heart in my chest.

Maybe oh maybe this is a dream.
No it is not and yet I cannot scream.

The choice for them to leave was not mine to say,
The wonderful state decided it was my price to pay.

So once again I mourn my loss and cry,
For my asking for help came at a cost way too high.

I sit here in no one way or other,
And ask myself " What am I if I can't be a Mother?"


Details | Narrative | |

R.I.P Mrs. Beyeres....

I woke up today
never knowing this would come
for I'd just seen you not a day ago
and there had only been smiles
we had been making plans
and your mother she just smiled and watched
how can we get back to that moment?
I never thought this then
but those would be the last
the last of the happy words between us.
I wish i could take this from you
i wish i could take it from myself
what where do we go now?
there is this gaping chasm between us
filled with this darkness
that drowns us in pain
your mother, they will say
no one can replace her
no one saw the street racers
as you two were getting off the freeway
no one could stop fates hands 
as the street racers hit you both
and the car rolled away
as if mere dust in the wind...
you were fine and i was glad
but my second mother?
she, she lay in her own blood
where do we go now?
i wish i could take this pain from you
i wish i could take this pain from myself
what do i say now
what words can be said..
nothing more than
may she rest in peace
may she go with god
know that we are here
to hold you up.
Remember those who love you
and know that your mother doesn't suffer here.
one day may we return to sanity.

RIP mrs. beyers who was killed in a car accident and passed away this morning after they
pulled her off life support, she was like my second mother and we mourn her loss, may she
be in pain no more though, and may we remember all the love she taught us.


Details | Free verse | |

The day

Tiny droplets of water falling from the heavens in 
perfect unity with the somber demeanor brought 
upon me in the presence of death as my 
mother now sleeps and her
soul is free.

So sad, the image of my sister and I through the
 tearful eyes of a stranger that haunts
me unrelentlessly, raping me of my inner child.

A stone full of sorrow that rest anchored in the 
mundane soil marking her final resting place, 
bringing misery with a stabbing pain 
to the heart as I weep inconsolably at the 
engraved letters.

Hanging onto faded memories as the mind 
drowns the pain with flooding 
emotions consumed 
in fire as I target thee Creator as the 
source of this prolonged 
agony.

Dejected and spiritless, I lie numb and emotionless 
with shards of my shattered hart puncturing 
my soul, fatally crippling the lucidity of my
 innocent mind.

Thoughts at first in the morning 
sun of an undisturbed world, were a false 
hope lies, as the truth to my reality rushes into 
the body, leaving me paralyzed to move as my
life crumbles and 
falls.

A child scarred for life, with daily suffering 
while I mourn my mother’s death, and yearn
 for the security of a warming touch of her hand 
gentle caressing my tender cheek.

I love my mother, as she is my guardian 
angel saving me from countless bouts with Death, 
for I’m able to breath today and keep her
 close to my hart.

“I miss you mommy” 


Details | Rhyme | |

Take Care of Mama

In the shadows of an empty church
A little child is kneeling
She prays for God to take away
The pain her mother is feeling

Torn between, her mother's love
And the mercy to let her die
She prays the end comes quickly
And the suffering pass her by

A child of only ten years old
With a heart, already grown
She's seen the pain and suffering
That most have never known

Her mother, stricken with cancer
And her, an only child
The product of a broken marriage
Her hopes and dreams defiled

She sits beside her mother's bed
Holding her weakened hand
Binding her tears, trying to be brave
Too young to understand

Her prayers are finally answered
Her mother passes away
All alone, she kneels once more
And again, begins to pray

She says, "Dear Lord take care of mama"
As she sits in the empty room
"Tell mama that I'm gonna miss her,
"And that I will see her soon"







Details | Rhyme | |

Trying To Heal

I don't know why you're angry
About the things I've said
When all that I have spoken
Are merely words instead

I don't know why you blame me
For speaking what's on my mind
When all that I am doing
Is breaking the ties that bind

You think it's me that hates you
Because of what I write
But if you listen carefully
You might gain some insight

Not everything's about you
Why can't you understand
The pain that life has dealt me
I carry in my two hands

I'm simply breaking away
From all that I have known
So someday you might actually see
How your little girl has grown

My pain is mine to heal
These chains are mine to break
I'm sorry if this hurts you
A leap of faith I'll take


Details | Ballade | |

To mom.

Good morning mom I hope your doing well, the last couple of days have been 
tough as you can tell, but we are doing whats right, these kids will have a safe 
place to sleep at night.

Hello mom I hope your at peace, for in our home we have your grand children my 
nephew and niece, all four please give us strength to do all we can, for you and 
the love you taught we lend a helping hand.

Hi mom did you see how happy they look now that there together, it reminded me 
when I was younger and my sisters and brothers, I`m glad we were able to 
remove this torn from your side, I hope your pain will subside.


Well mom I have to go, we have a lot to do this you know, mom look down on my 
wife and kids, they like I opened there hearts so they would have a place to live, 
in your honor, and with love we help your daughter.

Good bye mom as I look up above, for you and how you taught me to love, our 
hearts, our arms, our doors are open, to family and there time of need we help 
there pain end.

Till next mom when I need some one to talk to, I`ll look to the heavens for you, to 
you I show I kept my promise to care of them in there time of need, because 
there is that special little person I called mom inside of me.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dearest Mother

When you were born
You didn't know
The hell you'd receive
Nor the hell you would show

As you grew
I understand
The pain you lived
Through another ones hand

You felt alone
You could not speak
What you went through
Made you weak

You didn't think
Your mother would care
The pain you felt
You never shared

You held the truth
Inside for years
You blamed your guilt
And cried your tears

Maybe life 
For you was wrong
So listen to me
When I cry the same song


Details | Rhyme | |

My Mother My Friend

We bonded when you heard my heartbeat,
It went pitter patter ever so sweet,
You let out a giggle whenever I'd kick-
You dreaded the mornings I made you sick,
9 months long and you had to think-
Am i going to get the blues or pinks?
September 1st came with a bundle of joy-
A little baby girl-
To whirl and twirl
Day by day you watched me grow
A little bit taller from head to toe
You were there when I needed to cry
You were there to help me without a sigh
I became an adult and went on my way
I know I don't listen very well
I like to hide away in my shell
But please believe me when I tell you-
I love you and I'd be lost without you
Because of you I've made it this far
Simply because of your love and care
I feel your pain as if it's my own-
My tears for you inside have grown
I'd do anything to take the pain away...
But all I can do is HOPE and PRAY
That you'll have the strength for another day
And your lovely smile is here to stay
If the clouds move in on you...
Just remember-one plus one is two
That means- Me and You
I LOVE YOU-
You Are My Mother And .......
MY FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Details | Free verse | |

The Same Pain

I was reading a story about a captain on a ship, before i
 knew it i was bitting my lip in pain, The same pain i felt
 when i found i would never see you again...

And i Drempt i would travel to far away lands, Hands that
 covered my eyes, They lied and they cried for what
 seemed like for ever but never knew pain, The same pain
 i felt when i found i would never see you again...

I went into the music world to get out with out a shout, no
 motion in the heavy weight bout a knew i'd have to face, 
No place to go no words to show the pain i dealt with, The
 same pain i felt when i found i would never see you
 again...

I chased me, Like a bird on a rotisserie basted me, every 
where i ran i found it hounded me, pounded me into the 
ground with every sound and ever breath, And death 
didn't seam so far away, and i could have been dead 
already.

And heavy became my eyelids and they put bids on me to 
see that i shouldn't  survive, stay alive, but weren't they 
surprised when i showed up on their door step_ with you 
on my shoulder.
and farther and farther over the edge i flew and colder
 and harder over time i grew and that pain grew too.
The same pain i felt when i found i would never see you
 again...

And i traveled the world, and unfurled my devotion to you.
and i went deep into jungle to get high, on a train or on a 
park bench. And i had no bread and i had no dough and i 
had no flow and i had no know. but to the county i fled to
 conquer my demons, and leaving me the ability to shine
 broke through and i grew and became the man that you
 see today even though they had the nerve to say what
 they said because in my head i loved them anyway.

and then it happened, so quickly it was masterful, like
Dick Dastardly to Penellopy
 she couldn't see him come up 
on her, and when i turned around and you were staring into my eyes....
 well there you were, And that pain... That pain i say, that pain i say,
That pain i say i felt when i found i would never see you again.........

It went away.


Details | Personification | |

My life as Mother Nature

My life is mother nature,
when i cry everyone cries,
when im scared everyones scared,
when i feel mad i produce a storm.
when i feel hurt everything is torn.
when i have tears, everyone has fears.
When i have hate,
i try to hold back.
A tornado in the sky comming to collect.
collect all the dirt and garbage,
and pain the world has.
As a mother of nature,
i stand on my throne.
Looking through everyone i have known.
Now all my tears are dry and its a beautiful sky.
All the pain i hide, it will all say goodbye.


Details | I do not know? | |

I Love You

We talk and talk,
pour our hearts out over and over again,
after holding in all I’ve always felt for so long,
we try to ignore what this has all come too.
I told you I’ll never forget the moment my world fell apart,
the night everything would change,
when we would part all together into two families,
the picture of you alone on the couch with that look on your face,
will be forever embedded in my mind.
hearing you cry, talking it out, that night will never die.
We will never stop crying these tears of our past,
we will never forget on where we've been, it always seems to last.
How we thought being together would always last,
but that’s just a memory of our cold past.
I thought I would never get over this fate, of what our lives are now.
But years pass by, and the pain in my heart, the hate in my mind
surely but slowly fades,
I know you never meant to hurt us,
you never saw this coming, that we would just fall apart like this.
After tonight, I see how much I truly miss these nights.
where we would talk for hours, pouring our heart, letting our emotions run wild,
with tears falling from our eyes after being so strong.
I know after all its all said and done,
I know I’m going to be okay, I always have because I have this strength inside.
It took me awhile to stop the pain from controlling my life,
pulled everything out of me and started to get determined about living my life.
You will always be a part of me,
I look in the mirror and I see you as a part of me.
The woman I am today is the woman you are today.
These lessons always come with a price,
a price sometimes is just so much to take.
We always struggle through the rain,
but we realize the sun will eventually shine,
and will turn into something beautiful.
But no matter what, I’ve seen enough and I’ve learnt so much.
I will never forget where I've been, 
and thank you for everything you've ever done.
because in the end you could hurt me time after time,
and I would have only one thing to say to you,
I love you mom and dad.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Mother My Friend

We bonded when you heard my heartbeat
It went pitter patter ever so sweet
You let out a giggle whenever I'd kick
You dreaded the mornings I made you sick
9 months later and you had to think
Am I going to get the blues or pinks
September first came with a bundle of joy - 
A little baby girl
To whirl and twirl
Day by day you watched me grow
A little bit taller from head to toe
You were there when I needed to cry
You were there to help me without a sigh
Before you knew it - it was that day
I became an adult and went my own way
I know I didn't listen very well
I hid away in my little shell
But, please, believe me when I tell you - 
I love you and I'd be lost without you
Because of YOU I've made it this far
Simply because of your love and care
I feel your pain as if it was my own
My tears for you inside have grown
I'd do anything to take the pain away
But all I can do is pray
That you'll have the strength for another day
And you lovely smile is here to stay
If the clouds move in on you
Just remember - one plus one is two -
That means - Me and You -
You are My Mother and My Friend


Details | Couplet | |

Dream

Last night a sad dream I had,
This one, for me was quite bad.

I was at work and my baby I did see,
He knew right away it was me.

He broke away from this person other.
The new one he was to call mother.

Into my arms, my child flew,
There was no other joy to compare to!

My youngest son, my baby boy,
Oh the feeling of utter joy!

He says" I want to come home Mommy".
Oh Lord the pain hits like me a tsunami!

I awoke with a start!
Breaking was my heart...

Tears streaming upon my face,
The pain just won't erase.

For me the pain is with me every day.
It will never ever end I dare say!








Details | I do not know? | |

Jayden Makieh Kelly (Part 6)

Jayden Makieh Kelly
    
  Later on that day others came and kept us company.  Everyone sat around, talked, and watched t.v.  I eventually got up a few times and walked through the hallways with the contractions at times stopping me in my path.  But, I always had someone there with me so that helped make it not so bad.  I was put on pitocin to help me sleep and my contractions become closer together and stronger.  My friend T’tiera came and rubbed my stomach until she had to leave and go to class and could not stay longer.  I was very, very drowsy, in pain and the contractions made me feel lousy.  Your nana could not get a break to sit down.  She was there to rub my back and stomach every time I frowned.  I thank God that she was there, even though at that time she was there with me all alone.  There was even one moment where I was calling her to rub me, someone was knocking at the door, and people were calling on both the hospital and cell phone!  After hours of dealing with the pain, at around 4pm I decided to get the epidural medicine.  That was a very tense moment for I had to be perfectly still and manage the pain of the contractions within.  But, boy oh boy was that the a great joy!  I was desperately in need of some relief and great sleep.  That epidural made it possible for me to do that and help all of the pain cease.  I went to sleep and had dilated to a six.  However, while I was sleeping some complications came up that they had to fix.  My heartbeat had dropped and was infecting you.  They put a monitor on your head to monitor you.  They were even discussing performing a caesarean delivery to get you out.  However, everything turned out fine and the labor went about.  Everything had been stabilized with me still sleeping not knowing anything, not having to realize what was happening with you inside.  But hours later when I awoke I was informed about all of those complications that had aroused and how the doctors fixed them like a mechanic. I think it was a good thing that I had been in a deep sleep because I probably would have over-reacted and made things worse with panic.  However, I was thankful that everything turned out to be fine.  If something would’ve happened to you I would’ve lost my mind.


Details | I do not know? | |

Mother Dearest....

Mother Dearest I love you, you've always been their for me,
You've loved me even before I was born, before I could breathe.
You know what go through you know my pain and joy,
You know what's made me tick tock everysince a little boy.
Mother Dearest I love you for never giving up
even through all that pain with dad, all that crying & stuff.
I know divorce is hard and mom I never want to go through it,
I'm glad that you're ok now I don't know how you do it.
Mother Dearest I thank you for being a strong woman
God put you on this earth for me.


Details | I do not know? | |

Jayden Makieh Kelly (Part 5)

Jayden Makieh Kelly
    

  On the fifteenth of February at around  seven am the real contractions began, they had me in so much pain I thought they would never end.  I stayed up for two hours timing them to see if they would ever be close, however they wasn’t and out of pain is what I wanted the most.  Later on that day I had a doctors appointment, but only to find out that I still hadn’t dilated so I was disappointed.  However, later on that night the contractions started hurting me even more.  I couldn’t even lay down because they had my stomach so sore.  A few hours later from two am till three am the contractions were coming every five minutes and the pain was intense and very much not in my favor.  I told your nana I was ready to go to the hospital and we arrived there at about five or ten minutes till five am hoping I was in labor.  They put me in a room with these two little belts attached to my stomach to monitor my contractions and your heartbeat.  When the nurse checked me I had only dilated enough for the tip of her finger to fit, so with the doctor’s orders she wanted to get me up on my feet.  So, I went walking and then came back.  The contractions started reversing, they started to slack.  For they slowed down, they regressed.  Your nana thought they were going to send me home because she thought I wasn’t making any progress.  The doctor came in and checked me and to all of our surprise I had dilated to almost a three!  He then said, “Let’s get her in a room, she’s a keeper”.  Right then the thoughts of giving birth began to sink deeper.  I actually started to have just a tiny bit of fear of the journey I knew I was nearing.  I got moved a little ways up the hallway to labor and delivery room five.  The room was fully equipped to make you feel at home, quite spacious in size.  I was placed on another monitoring machine and hooked up to an iv.  At that point there was still only your nana in the room with me.


Details | I do not know? | |

the person inside everybody

A kid in high school doesnt have no friends                                                                      
Because he's a loser he gets ridiculed to the end                                                           
He has a good heart, he has a good brain                                                                        
He feels lonely, the only thing he sees is pain                                                                 
HIs father abandoned him, his mother died                                                                     
From everybody all he hears is lies                                                                                    
He succumb to smoking, he succumb to drinking                                                          
But nothing could help the way he was feeling                                                                 
He found his father who use to abuse his mother                                                           
And told him he was going to be a big brother                                                         
But   thanks to you I lost my my mother & sister                                                       
And  pulled out an small little pistol                                                                                    
He shot his father and buried his body                                                                             
Now he realized hes a crazy somebody                                                                            
Hes back at school still feeling pain                                                                                   
Why has his peace been so long detained                                                                      
Hes has no friends no people to hangout with                                                               
So the only thing left to do is commit suicide death                                                       
Whos this person that feels this way                                                                                 
People might know but their afraid to say                                                                          
Thats right thiis person is me                                                                                             
This person inside everybody


Details | Verse | |

Peace of Perfection

Quiet, in her eyes and on her skin
unzipped and stepped out of the pain she's been in
Sold all her dreams for a moment at sea
and burned all her memory incense
Roses and trees of pecans scent the air
she visits in dreams, as though she was there
She tells me she loves me then floats higher still
I catch all my tears in my palm
Whispers of long burnt out brilliance rain down
on my shoulders, she settles without even a sound
Her pain is a mist on it's last tidal wave
My eyes fill up blue with the sea.


Details | I do not know? | |

Ode To Mothers!

Blue birds and Blue Jays just flappin'in
the wind,
They are one of nature's most beautiful
whims! For hath the music in all our hearts,
Going thru life with minimal smarts!
God's overseeing everything about us,
While man is busy,creating a fuss!
Shaded trees are down by the river,
As a crying child's finger is in pain from
a sliver.
As he fusses and cringes at all
his discomfort and disdain,All that is in
his mind,is all the frustrational pain!
For without his mother's tenderly care,Easing
the pain with love that is beyond total,
and incomprehensible,devotional compare!
Alas! Dear mothers,are lovingly there!



Details | I do not know? | |

DREAM

EVERY SECOND OF THE DAU I WISH YOU WERE HERE
SO I WOULD NEVER STRAY.

EVERYDAY I PLEADE AND PRAY FOR TO COME BACK
AND FANILY STAY.

I ASK GOD WHY HE TOOK YOU AWAY, BUT I NEVER
GET AN ANSWER. SO I STRAY DRINKING IT UP
HOPEING MY PAIN WILL SOON GO AWAY.

I LOOK UP AT THE SKY JUST AS A SHOOTING 
STAR FLY'S BY. I WISH YOU WERE HERE AND MY
PAIN WOULD GO AWAY, BUT THEN SOON AFTER 
WISHING GOD WOULD JUST TAKE MY LIFE 
AWAY.

I TRY TO IMAGINE YOU ARE HERE AND JUST 
EXALTY WHAT I WOULD SAY...

WHY WEREN'T YOU AT THE COURTHOUSE THAT DAY?
I WOULD HAVE NEVER SINGED THOSE PAPERS THAT 
TOOK MY LIFE AWAY.

ALL I EVER WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO COME AND 
TAKE ME AWAY. 

MY FUTURE IS GRIM AND MY HEART IS GRAY. I SEE
YOU IN THE CEMERATRY, I CALL YOUR NAME BUT 
YOU DON'T ANSWER.

I RUN TO YOUR SIDE AND FALLTO THE GROUND. 
AS I READ ALOUD MY NAME ON THE STONE I 
SCREAM GOD I'M SORRY PLEASE TAKE ME HOME.

THEN WAKE UP SCREAMING IN MY ROOM, WITH HER 
BY MY SIDE TELLING EVERYTHING WILL BE 
ALRIGHT.

BUT I KNOW IT BECAUSE YOUR NOT HERE
AND NO MATTER WHAT I DO OR WHAT I SAY MY
HURT AND MY PAIN WILL NEVER GOAWAY.



Details | I do not know? | |

Suicidal

Sitting beside the water, Underneath one of the stars.
Everybody watches him as they drive by in their cars.
Tear-filled eyes sits this troubled child.
His heart is sad his mind gone wild.
With no one to comfort him, alone he sits in sorrow;
Hoping his problems will be gone away tomorrow.
And while he waits a tear falls down, rolls off his leg and drops to the ground.
His body is aching, his eyes are red
He has this sharp pain in the center of his head.
He thinks back on life and all the things he didn't do;
And while he thinks he pulls out a .22!
With the gun to his head he cries one last cry;
As he thinks how good It will be for him to die!
The trigger gets pulled back and so does his life.
With just one shot he ended all his pain and strife!!!
He didn't stop to think who might be hurt;
As they watch his body being carried to the dirt.
All he could see was the bad in life and all the people who didn't care.
How his mother hated him because he was a painful reminder of the father who 
was no longer there.
How he was constantly bullied and picked on at school.
Or how the only girl he ever loved played him for a complete fool.
Tears, pain ,love, strain;
Lots of lose no gain!!!!!


Details | Narrative | |

Just a Fling

It started off as just a fling 
Nothing serious a simple thing 
Then my love for her grew deep 
It became hard for me to sleep 
People said we were too young 
Though we were she was the one 
Even still with feelings strong 
I was forced to do her wrong 
Cause I was just a scared young boy 
I played with her like a toy 
Then one day first period came 
I heard that girl shout my name 
I looked at her and walked away 
Not knowing her changes every day 
From the secrets that she had 
I learned that I would be a dad 
My time with her I did deny 
Now I wish I didn't lie 
She looked at me with such disgust 
In my words she once did trust 
How could I put her through such pain 
So I could be arrogant and vain 
Now the day is drawing near 
Would she still love me was my fear 
Or was my timing way too late 
To regain her trust and change our fate 
When I approached with teary eyes 
Her love for me she did not deny 
She told me that she loved my so 
And she never wanted me to go
She formed me to a whole new man
One who could love and understand
So with the largest stomach at graduation
I was her rock her foundation
And as those 9 months they quickly passed
I thought our love would forever last
One night she called and I awoke
When she yelled "MY WATER BROKE"
Just as fast as my happiness came
All my sunshine turned to rain
The doctors made me leave the room
At once there were screams that made my ears boom
I tried to suck it up and hold in my pride
But when I said I was okay it was all a lie
The doctor came out all teary eyed
"the girl u loved, she instantly died"
"but your baby sir she's healthy and safe
6 pounds 9 ounces that is her weight"
When I looked at you all I could do was smile
My pain left me for a little while
Now in you your mother she lives
In the sparks in your eyes and the warmth in your kiss
And though it started off as just a fling
To me your mother was everything


Details | Free verse | |

MOTHER'S DAY

TEARS OF HURT FALL LIKE RAIN FROM AN ANGRY CLOUD

MY HEART BLEEDS FROM WOUNDS INFLICTED BY THE SWORD OF APATHY

MY LIFE, ONCE LIVED ONLY FOR THOSE I BROUGHT INTO THIS WORLD

IS NOW EMPTY, VOID OF ANY LAUGHTER, HUGS OR KISSES

THE JOY OF MOTHERHOOD NOW FADES 

INTO THE LONELINESS THAT IS TO BE OLD AGE

NO MORE TO OFFER WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

OR UNSOLICITED ADVICE

NO SMILES OR WARM CONVERSATIONS

WITH THOSE NOW GONE TO SEEK THEIR OWN

I GRIEVE AS THOUGH YOUR LIVES ARE OVER

AND YET THE PAIN IS KNOWING

THAT YOU ARE SO CLOSE

AND YET SO OUT OF REACH

I PRAY YOU  NEVER KNOW THE PAIN OF MOTHERHOOD

THAT COMES ONLY WHEN YOU ARE NO LONGER NEEDED

I PRAY YOU CAN  ESCAPE THE HAUNTING MEMORIES

OF SMALL ANGELIC FACES, TINY FEET AND LITTLE HANDS

THAT REACH FOR YOU  WHEN FEAR HAS KNOCKED THEM OFF THEIR FEET
AS THEY LOOK FOR THAT EVER PRESENT, EVER SOLID LOVE A MOTHER HAS TO GIVE

I PRAY THAT WHEN YOUR BABIES HAVE BABIES,

YOU CAN EMBRACE THE FACT WITH OPEN ARMS AND OPEN HEARTS

AND NEVER LET YOUR FEAR OR WORRIES SHOW

AND WHEN YOUR ANGELS HAVE ALL GROWN UP AND LEAVE THE NEST

I PRAY YOU WILL SEND THEM ON THEIR JOURNEY WITH

 A NEVER ENDING, NEVER FAILING , ALWAYS TRUE AND FAITHFUL, MOTHER’S LOVE


Details | Free verse | |

Innocently in Pain

holding your hand after a 5 hour surgery
you're so beautiful and you look so peaceful 
i know you are in pain and can not respond
i wish i could tell you how i feel right now but the
words will not come out
if they would they wouldnt be right
all i can do is cry
my stomach is in knots
but my heart is in pain
nothing like the pain you are in
i can only imagine how you feel
holding your hand closed eyes
trapped in an innocent face
unlike the face ive once seen
although your hope is running low
your heart is flying high
if only i could tell you how i feel
if only you could see how much your family really 
cares then maybe you would understand how I feel
and maybe you could tell me what i wish i could say