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Mother Depression Poems | Mother Poems About Depression

These Mother Depression poems are examples of Mother poems about Depression. These are the best examples of Mother Depression poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Verse | |

Missing Mother

Bits of me are missing mother,
the bits of me which you placed.
Bits of me are missing Mother ah..
I see you in my face.
Trying to remember Mother’s days
of wine and roses..Sinatra songs and beaches,
pipe curls and crinolines, days so far gone, so long ago,
replaced by bitter brew, by tears, by fears,
by little pills, I remember you.

I see you in my face, Mother.
Years gone by and still I try,
no easy thing to do, try to remember,
just a few... memories of happy days with you? 

Was it when I learned to read, when you baked your pies?
Ah, Mother, mother memories ... only come in sighs.

Still, in all, it’s very true, 
          I spend each day missing,
                           missing all of you.





Details | Ballad | |

This Song is for my Mother

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
I couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
A song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created and cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Memory of a mother
Shared my dreams and really cared

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Mama…
I know I wasn’t there……

For you

Would have placed 
A magic carpet 
‘neath your weak and shaky legs

Would have raised
A strong west wind
Let you breathe with ease again

Would have bribed 
God’s venal angels
Come and soothe your endless pain

Would have vanquished
All the demons
And bring peace to you again

Be the child
I never knew
In a land
We won’t grow old

Be the light
I always loved
Warmed my dark 
And lonely soul

Be the girl
Playing games
In a world 
The sun won’t set

Be the laughter
Calms my heart
I never will forget
I won’t forget, won’t forget

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
Couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
Song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created….cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

I broke my promises, oh mama
Now you’ve gone away 
I’m broken
Drowning in the pain each day

I’m  drowning…drowning...drowning…drowning

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me…….



Details | Rhyme | |

Suicide Mind

What makes the decision
To flick the switch
To end ones life
For the sake of it
 
Troubled, debts
Bullied at school
Fork in the road
To let death rule
 
Mums, dads
Daughters and sons
What ever affects them 
They just can't outrun
 
Sadness and tears
By all left behind
Will they ever understand
Suicide Mind


Details | Narrative | |

The Rose

Once bloomed a rose so young and fair
With dark brown eyes and long black hair

Beside her be a tall dark tree
Whose branches stretch to smother thee

Too close beside the shadowy bark
That soon begins to leave its mark

She cries for help, but none shall hear
Her thorns too sharp, who’d dare go near?

To save this rose, who’d risk their life?
With naught to gain but pain and strife

Alone, afraid, she lays to rest
Her heart beats low inside her chest

And with the hour growing near
She sheds her final grieving tear

And so the rose soon falls asunder
Her final day, eternal slumber

She lies beside the old dark tree
The only one who mourns for thee


Details | Heroic Couplets | |

Stronger Than She Thinks.....

She is a loving mother, 
 her pain is like no other.
Kids taken all at once away.
 A price too steep to have to pay.

Holds her head up high, 
 when all she wants to do is die.
She thinks her pain is masked, 
 but as you see, its no easy task.

She's strong and still fights, 
 even when they say she has no rights.
She dreams of seeing her kids, 
 trying hard to keep the pain hid.

She goes to court and really fights, 
 only to come home alone and cry at night.
Still, she continues this uphill battle.
 Her confidence, they constantly rattle.

Goes to work and tries to smile, 
 as her heart is breaking all the while.
Wish I was a much better sister, 
 who called and let her know I missed her.

I had my own tumultuous issues, 
 it was she who really needed the tissues.
I just had a crappy, low life man.
 By her side her family should stand.

Instead they all give her grief.
 Do they not see her pain will never be brief?
No, they all say they are sorry, but they're full of lies.
 Didn't they know it was her LIFE in demise?

A better sister, I'll try to be.
 Her back she never turned to me.
I hope she knows she's loved and cared for.
 Her smile I'd like to see more.

I know that's no easy task.
 But that I will still ask.
As they push her to the brink,
 She's stronger than she ever thinks.




A combined effort for Kristy.....


Details | Rhyme | |

Apology Letter To My Mama

Dear mama,
I apologize for the aches,
And all the pain,
I apologize for struggle in your 
heart,
Torturing your veins,
I apologize for the stressful tears,
On account of non-listening ears,
I hear your melancholy weeps,
From a mind that never sleeps,
I know the fake smile you keep,
Will break you suddenly,
I am sorry for the things making you 
sick,
I am sorry you had to grow up 
quick,
Even when you shout hate,
I see love in your eyes,
Out of your heart you apologize,
But, this is my apology to you,
For all the things I put you through,
I apologize for the things you never 
had,
Just to make us glad,
I apologize for the unpaid bills, 
that has you taking headache pills,
I thank you for your vigilance,
But, I can't sit and watch,
The other half is gone,
And you're fighting alone,
Somebody got to be the MAN of the 
house,
We can't always sit on the couch,
Mama I appreciate the things you 
do,
I thank God for you,
I apologize if my actions never 
show,
I Love You,
You bring peace and healing to my 
soul.


Details | Rhyme | |

My mother, my earth.

Into the light I see,
with rays in clouds and warmth in me.
Brittle is the air around,
no voice is there, nor sweeter sound.

Within my scars and broken back,
there are my kin, there love I lack.
The oceans turn, therefore I weep,
Is it truly my tears to keep?

Now the mountains begin to fall,
like sand and dust to death they call.
I hear my children bleed and cry,
there bellies thirst and almost dry.

Some will seat and eat there fill,
"lets help them now, so now we will!
His mother would find pride within,
a pretty thing this life of sin.

Alas, my days are almost through,
my breath, my flesh and heart is too.
Let this be my final song,
for war alone is for the strong.

Into the night I see,
is there still love left for me?


Details | I do not know? | |

Why

As I remain here where I lie,
I keep asking that I will quickly die.
 
I hate this stupid self-centered life,
where all people are filled with hate & strife.

As my mom feels so wonderful from popping pills, 
I'm stuck here with the worst gut-wrenching feeling that kills.

I'm sick of my life being filled with tears, cutting, & sadness.
Why can't we just end all the madness?

Why can't people have a life where no tears are seen, only laughs, smiles, & happiness.
And no one could intervene?


Details | Rhyme | |

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love?

How can we hurt the very ones that we love?
How can we easily neglect our God above?

It seems like I often heard about many victims
Many times, it’s from a loved one who’s been with them!

The hate and the anger that boils from deep within.
Often “boils over” toward our family and friends.

It’s the love of Christ that we need to find!
His love can totally cleanse our life and mind!

The hearts of many families are bruised and broken.
By the harshness of many of the words spoken.

If we would allow Jesus to rule and reign.
We’d have little reason to murmur or complain.

If we would yield our lives to the master’s will…
The emptiness and brokenness, he shall fulfill!

If we could allow ourselves to sit at Jesus’ feet…
He can make any family totally complete!

If we could just listen to what Christ has to say.
His words of life would brighten our day!

As a family…  Won’t you give HIM a chance?
And allow his love to change your circumstance!

Won’t you allow his spirit to bind you together?
You can experience his peace today and forever!

He can change your family throughout!
This is his will and what God is all about!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

I Have To Forgive You

-to my mom... inspired by Nathan Fehr-

I have to forgive you
For what you have done
For what you didn’t do
For leaving me in gloom
Leaving us all wondering
If you would ever return
I have to forgive you
Because you can smile away everything
Because we need you
And love you
Sometimes I know 
That you would have stayed
If it weren’t for God’s intervention
You would have stayed with him
If you hadn’t been thrown out
And abandoned
We were your last resort
I understand
I do
But that doesn’t mean I am not hurt
I forgive you
For the worst and for the best
We are blessed
To have you back
Though we will never truly understand
What made you leave us all behind
I guess you really loved him
The loveless … I understand
You wanted to make someone happy
You wanted to fill that empty void
But by doing so
Others had to suffer
But you didn’t want us to suffer
You were just tired of it
Tired of doing everything
We were your last resort
We were abandoned
And you returned
With open arms
And tears of bitter sweetness
I have come to forgive you
Because if I don’t
There you will go again
Freed skyline pigeon
And I love you
So much
Please don't leave us
Let your wings rest 


Details | Free verse | |

Die alone and born again

The man with the plastic bug in his head
monopolized my dreams last night
in the place that the horsefly of my dignity
finally surrender to the impresario without a fight.

Seven days and 7 hours transplanted in my memorabilia
reminding the rustiness of the purple child
flatterers danced beneath the clouds of melancholy
and morality spreader the master plan inside my mind.

The disinheritance of my immortality the final day
discouraged my desire to see the forbidden love
restored my will to escape
manipulated the deep of the uncertainty above.

Released from the plastic bug in my head
try to cover my yellow child in the purple sky
laughing,singing,whispering,playing
seven days and seven hours before he dies.


Details | Rhyme | |

Mom

My cloak is no match for your brown eyes
You see my everything, no way to deny

Everything bare and naked like bone
Your warmth overwhelms my cold eyes of stone

No place to hide or runaway
Your arms scoop me up and carry me away

The scars I so desperately mask
You see right through, never meant to last

From the freshly painted crimson tares
To the lines that are barely there

With the hands that match my own
You heal me with more love than I could have ever known


Details | Lyric | |

Gotta Let Their Soul Cry

 Raped and Molestated in childhood, 
   Abused and Misused in pre-adulthood,
     Alone and confused they stood; feeling
       like tainted goods.

 Let their soul cry, maybe then; they can
  regain their pride. 

 They gotta let their soul cry

 Their darkest secret's they lock  away
   within, this is why their flesh constantly
    feast off sin; and everything in life has a
     beginning, but never render an ending.

 Let their soul cry, Crying is the only way to
  gain their piece of mind.
   
One might ask," Why"? Then , I will reply,"
  They need to see at least one day filled with
     promise rather than pain and see the sun
        without having rain.
     
 They gotta let their soul cry, before their sin
  cause their flesh to die.


Details | I do not know? | |

Today Is Terrible----

The cracked spine of
the book I dropped
at the call.
A chip in my
windshield left by a
pompous *?#@! in a
red sports car as I
drive to the
service.
Rain expectorating
from an ashen sky as
the dirt is turned.
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
crack in grandma’s
spine from her fall
down the stairs.
The chip in her
amazingly smart mind
after eighteen years
as a teacher.
Tears running,
dripping from my
Mothers ashen face
as she cries “My
mama’s dead.”
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
cracked family
emotions left raw
and empty.
The chip in Grandpas
numb mind at the
gathering… “Where is
Irene she should be
here?”
Faces gone ashen
with dread, do we
leave him numb or
remind him that his
wife is dead?
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
empty silences,
missing the jokes
Grandma used to
crack.
Grandma’s laugh and
her endless smile
which always exposed
that tooth with the
chip in it.
Without her the
world has become
empty, bleak, and
ashen.
Today is terrible.

                   
                   
                   
          Summer
Gratias


Details | Rhyme | |

" The Life Of Me " page 1 of 2

My name is James, born 1961
In Inverness, a small Scots town
To my father Andrew, and my mother Beryl
And Billy my brother, a pair of devils
 
In 67, we woke one night
Our house was ablaze, full of orange light
Our neighbour next door, for whatever reason
Started a fire, it must be crazy season
 
We had too move to a caravan park
By this time it,s three, to make a new start
My mother Beryl decide to leave
But the three of us left, never bothered to grieve
 
In the next few weeks, we ended in court
Two small children, in a marriage abort
We were asked to choose either Dad or Mum
But we ignored the parent, who went on the run
 
As we left the court, to start a new life
We felt sorry for Dad, as his illness was rife
He never told us that he was unwell
It would upset one of his boys, as the future will tell
 
Then came the night all parents dread;
Being told one of his boys is nearly dead
We were going to a boys club, on a Monday night
My brother was running so far out of sight
 
I turned the corner to see him ahead
No!! he's been hit by a van, Boom's  Boom's dead
I ran to my father, sreaming and crying
I'm finding my life,at 7 - far too trying
 
After the funeral, and with my father unwell
We left Inverness, our eyes a swell
To go as two, and not three as before
It's like Mother Nature closed a door
 
So we headed west, to a place called Fort William
Was it in the stars, cause Billy " is " William
We moved there, as the air was so pure
Hoping my father will find his cure
 
For whatever reason, we left the above
We found no Angel or peaceful dove
So we headed back to Inverness
Fathers health decreasing, life still a stress
 
Over the next few years, i was fostered and loaned
In couples houses and children's homes
It was really strange in all those places
Different people, different faces

Then on the 16th of Feb - 76,
James, i was told, your dads very sick.
The cancer had taken your father away
To be with Billy, where you'll join them one day

In 77, i joined the Navy, as i promised my dad you see. 
I did'nt enjoy it, i decided to leave 
Back up north, where my futures to be 
I wanted to have, what my parents had lost 
And that was my aim, no matter the cost

see page 2 of 2, ty..


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me.php


Details | I do not know? | |

God's Plan

All I can do is wonder. 
I'll never really know. 
OI'll never get to hug her, 
and she'll never see me grow.
When I wake up tommorrow, 
this nightmare won't be gone.
I'll never have what I took for granted, 
a chance to know my Mom. 

I know I shouldn't cry, 
because that won't bring her back.
It doesn't make up for the emptiness
or the love that I lack.
I'm almost grown up now.
I did it all by myself.
But I can't help but wish
I could be like everyone else.

I'm excluded from some "special bond"
and memories to be shared.
When all I ever asked for
was to have someone who cared.
The tearstains on my pillow
outnumber memories.
The only way I know her
is to see her in my dreams.

Daddy said she loved me,
but God called her home.
I don't know why he took her, 
the only Mom I'd ever known.
I guess he has a hidden plan, 
a reason I can't see.
I'm waiting for it to come together
and work out okay for me. 

I hope I'll understand some day
just what God has in mind. 
So no matter how much I miss my mother
I'll follow God's plan and be alright.


Details | Free verse | |

My Baby

A gift like no other gift, 
one that can't be bought
a precious human being, 
deserving the right to live
to exist as we all do, 
but sometimes it just doesn't
happen that way,

A baby of no harm, 
a baby of no sins
a baby of pure love, 
and only innocence

Tender moments, 
carrying wishes
disappointments, 
everyday misses

Sitting there all alone, 
even though 
I was surrounded,
by others

While wondering, 
why it may be
that I am made to suffer,

Wanting nothing more,
but to die
inside and out,

Things happen for a reason,
so I was taught
I'll never know the reason,
but I'll always feel the loss

The loss of my child,
my baby was taken
away from me,
and there is no reason

I constantly ask myself,
why did this happen?
what did I do wrong?

I asked God to save my baby,
to protect us both
I remain here,
but my baby is gone

It seems as if, my whole world,
just fell apart
and all I could do,
was sit back and watch it happen

I found myself, 
feeling lonely
needing someone, 
anyone to hold me

All I could do was cry,
I had to cry, for the sake of myself
for the sake of my baby,
for the sake of my heart
I had to weep

I cried and cried aloud,
hoping to be heard
please father, 
I'll do whatever you want
you have my word,
just please save my baby

I bled so much, 
had so much pain
denied to myself, 
everything would be okay

Crying and pleading,
praying and weeping
became an everyday routine,
it was so hard to believe
this was happening to me,

It's not over yet,
it never will be
everyday and every night,
it's in my memory...










(March 1998)
My sweet baby
you will always be with me...


Details | Rhyme | |

anniversary

this is inspired by a picture of a guy looking at a piece of bread with one candle 
on it,  http://allpoetry.com/amyrowsell

today would be our first wedding anniversary
but I lost her, a month ago
a guy was driving drunk and crossed the line
that night he took the life of mine
you think that they would learn 
driving is a privilege you have to earn
I hate him for what he has done 
he took away a mother from me and our young son
nobody wins when people drive drunk 


Details | Rhyme | |

This poem is my own recovery from Valium O Little White Tablet

‘0 LITTLE WHITE TABLET’

O little white tablet, how I hate you,
I was only 21 years old, when introduced to you.
You looked so innocent, so white, so pure.
I was told you were the answer to everything,
(The cure)
No-one told me, when they introduced me to 
the rest of your family, the yellow and the blue.
The blue being five times stronger than you.
No-one told me of the dangers you held within.
Of all the pain I would have to go through, all the suffering.
No-one told me. YOU would rob me, of eighteen 
years of my life.
That I would be unable to function properly,
as a Mother and Wife.
No-one told me, I would get addicted to you.
Of all the pain and suffering, I would
have to go through.
To get you out of my system, alone took two years. 
Two more years of heartbreak, many, many tears.
Then to find out, I had Agoraphobia.
Several more years, destroyed by fear.
Which a lot of people, say is caused by you.
Not being able to go out, far or near.
Hurting all the ones, I loved so dear.
O little white tablet, how I hate you.
But in the end I was the winner Not you.

This poem refers to prescribed drugs


Details | Bio | |

Outside looking In

Im going to tell you a story about a girl.
She was smart, and ready to take on the world.
Had a hard childhood with her mother always ill,
but her father worked hard and struggled to pay the bills.
My name is Pam and the poem your about to read,
Is a interesting poem, all about me.
I started to feel depression and pain,
at the age of 15 I was snorting cocaine.
I got pregnant at a young age and wanted to explore,
So I walked right out of my families door.
Time went on and I was still not around,
My mom grew sicker and dad wearing a frown.
Not much longer until I experienced this change,
and tragic horrible hurt and feeling of pain.
I walked in that room ,and climbed in the bed
I layed down beside him, and layed down my head.
With my hear I could hear his heartbeat.
The next thing I new we were burying him six feet deep.
At the funeral they said she was in a better place,
but it just wasnt fair to see that look on her face.
My mom that is she died with my dad,
She may have been breathing but always so sad
Two years later she decided to give up,
her faith was gone and hope for luck up.
Thats when I really started to struggle,
barely getting by and forgetting that i was mother.
She seen me drift into a dark place,
I started loosing weight in my stomach and my face.
Before I new it I was always getting high,
Weeks became months, and time flew right by
Its to bad that I chose this new path I was on ,
Because on August 11Th I got a call saying my mother was gone.
Like a replay I walked into that room,
to see her lying there as stiff as a broom.
I layed down beside her and rubbed my fingers
through her hair , but the pain I was feeling I just couldn't bare.
You would think after loosing my mom and my dad,
Anything else wouldnt seem near as bad
Within four years I had nothing left,
My child was taken for my foolish regrets.
Just me and my addiction no more tears to cry,
so many different ways that I could get high.
I would like to introduce this powerful drug,
It bring nothing but bad when I was searching for love.
The name is crystal, Crystal Meth
The one thing in the world, I wish I had never met...


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Couplet | |

Twenty Five

Creative inspiration
Mixed with gas price inflation
Voluntary solitude
Welcomed ingratitude
Served the homeless in Manila
Then become a homeless college student
And mother in America
Racial discrimination justified
As manager proclaimed Black Girl
Unqualified
Gave Jesus his eviction note
While her abusive ex she couldn’t
Wait to promote
Self-employment had to end
As her car became uncooperative
Wrote poems and created soliloquies
Since the voice in her mind
Had to be freed
Degree hanging on the wall
While debt remained stacked 10 feet tall
Apathy knocked on the front door
While shame and disgust waxed the floor
Dreams of the American family
Burst into flames
Along with the hope of wisdom, wealth, and fame


Details | Villanelle | |

mother WHO i HATE

Mother, mother can't you see?
How much are you putting the needle,
Deep inside of  my heart?
I know the pain won't go away!
I know you are blind to see the truth!

Pain pain pain,
When will you go away?
Anger, hate & discouragement
Always comes my way!
What am I supposed to do?
I feel alone deep inside,
I feel the empty pressure against my chest,
In a prison of hate,
I am sick of the people who I love,
Betraying me & ruining the trust,
God above who sees your actions,
I hope He will never forgives you,
For you who keep on sin.

One day you will see 
Throw my eyes & my pain,
One day you will stop on pretend,
Realize your mistakes,
It will be too late,
I will be gone far away,
I will never come back again!


Details | Free verse | |

Final Adieu

Final Adieu

Let another sun set,
Let another flower wilt,
Let another autumn cast its gloom,
Let another tear role,
As ye part, and bid
The final adieu.

Suyash Saxena
St. Stephen’s college


Details | Narrative | |

Don't Leave Me

I can't imagine being alive without you
I can't imagine what it will be like when your gone
I don't know what I'll become without you
Maybe I'll just run
Run away from everything and leave everyone behind
Maybe I'll find a way to be close to you
Because I won't believe you died 
My heart will ache so much more 
Tears will always run
My eyes will hold the wisdom 
That you bestowed upon me young
And my recklessness will be noticeable
People will wonder why
Why am I running when the person I needed most died
How can I face my life when I can't do anything right
I won't believe you have gone away
When God decides to take you
I'll still come by your house and always expect an answer
I Love You Gamma
You Taught Me About My Heritage  
Please Remember Me When God Takes You
Please Guide Me In the Right Way


Details | Rhyme | |

I'd never want to relive the day

I’d never want to relive the day.

I’d never want to relive the day
I left my mum, I turned away
And came here to Australia
From England oh, so very far

She cried and cried to see me go
If I’d be back she did not know
Just sixty pound I had on me
Mum never knew just what would be

What else really, could I do?
I’d wed a girl I loved so true
She was from the land of Oz
And with her family her heart was

I’d never want to relive that day
I broke mums heart in such a way
But that’s the way it had to be
Though it caused mum so much misery.

20 December 2013 @ 1730hrs.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

To a Dead Man

You Drive me into this Malice, into this Maze I can only see the last of days Your Creation Failed With Me Burn with malice as you bridge to the plains of ennui


Details | I do not know? | |

Dear little sister from another mister

You’ve been thrown left and right,
Crying to yourself every night,
Thinking all has gone wrong,
& you won’t be giving up after long..
You’ve been heartbroken 
One
Two many times:
From old boyfriends,
To lies;
Father walked out,
Baby killed by mistake;
Your mom has disowned you,
But she still shows you lust…
Everybody knows the truth,
The pain that you do not choose;
They see what you show,
But see me…
I, T’Keyah Wilder,
I already know…
You’ve raped and thrown from left to right;
Crying to yourself every night;
Everybody saying they understand,
But you know you’re the only
One who knows your pain ;
On this land…
It’s a matter of time, 
Before you kill yourself,
Stressing yourself,
Hurting you and everyone else;
Blaming yourself for,
Mistakes not purposely made;
Crying every time you feel like you just got 
Laid,
You want the true love,
Love shown from the heart;
Honestly,
Coming from your big sister; 
I think you need a fresh start,
Easing your pain with nicotine;
I’m surprised you’re not 
Sippin lean…
I know it may be hard,
To forget about the past,
But there’s one thing;
I must ask from you and I 
Want this to last;
Promise me, you’ll try your best
To stress less,
& pray more…
Listen to God;
Put him above…
All;
We’re not close like we used to be,
But you know I’m just a phone call,
Away…
Not far from you..
But I wish you’d  realize,
This too…
Stressing is not working,
Cause death, the devil, lies,
& fear are lurking..
Promise me;
You’ll try to be the best you can be…
Dear Little Sister from another Mister!
<3 RiP auntie bby ; djF .


Details | Free verse | |

Blood Drips From Walls

A scream stretches out into the night
A desperate call heard but with guilt ignored
An echoing beacon of another battle commence
As neighbours run to their bunkers to escape its call
As blood drips from walls

In separate tombs
Two children wait in line
Hoping and praying they won't reach the head this time
Dreading what raised voices and familiar shouts will bring
As they desperately hide beneath timid sheets
That had always failed to provide cover they need
As blood drips from walls

A mother throws herself into the line of fire
Desperate to protect her kids from his fists full of anger
For she knows if she's not there where next he will turn
As her blood drips from walls

Plates, cups, glass become the bullets
In a battle for the kitchen door
Whilst trapped inside for now her children's safety she is sure
As blood drips from walls

Drink the finger on the trigger held
Cruel words the shrapnel that went so deep
Every punch of his fist the mighty bomb
That tempted fate to end this once and for all
As blood drips from walls

The excited barking dog
Becomes the friendly fire
As her arms try to block the punches
The dog bites into what he doesn't know
A scream of pain for a moment sets still time
As blood drips from walls

Two children shudder as the ambulance pulls up outside
The flashing lights a breeze of hope dancing on their bedroom ceilings
Just maybe somebody might come and take them now
Guilty in their selfish need as they feared for their mother loved
As blood drips from walls

But as they drifted into exhausted sleep
Freed for a night from his rage as he sat and feared losing all he controlled
In a hospital room their mother retreated into a lie
Surrendered all of them to many years more
Because more than she feared the war
She was terrified of the loneliness from losing his love
Believing every time he told her you're not good enough
As blood drips from walls


Details | Lyric | |

UNNOTICED, UNSEEN

I woke up one day
Unnoticed, unseen
The sparrows were chirping
Did not mind me between

I poked them gently
The sparrows got scared
Seeing them fly
I went mad

I ran out into the streets
Naked and free
Hurled pebbles on passersby
Watched them flee with glee

I felt like a king
In this blind men’s paradise
Shocking poor fellows at will
Making fun of their cries

I was shaken hard
By someone I could not see
I rubbed my eyes
Could see only darkness around me

It was my mother
She put me on her lap
Tears filled my eyes
As I went into recap

I wished my dreams were true
I could see the world go blind
Why O Lord, 
You robbed away my sight
What was my fault, 
You made me Blind


Details | Rhyme | |

If I Had One Wish

So many thoughts come to mind If only I could really go back in time Change or undo my life’s violent and sexual crimes Tell those around me to open their eyes Pay Attention to the signs If only one wish could really rewind Those pedophilic hands of my life-time… Then I stopped and started to think Who would I be if this didn’t happen to me? What of the woman I’d come to be The wisdom I’d come to see And my children who’s lives are abuse free As a result of my past… my history… Now, with eyes wide and mind free Heart pounding, air, LOVE and life in me Blessed with children to change my legacy, Equipped with words and strength to share my story… my poetry I’d wish only to open the eyes of the blind The mouths of the abused and the hearts of our society… I’d make them see… I’d make them see So no other child has to end up like me… Lay
** For the "If I Had One Wish Contest"


Details | Rhyme | |

A Painful Thanksgiving Night

A Painful Thanksgiving Night… As I sit here this Thanksgiving night I can do nothing else but write. My family’s in the other room So, why do I feel all this gloom? When we arrived late last night I thought for sure I would be alright. Even though it took everything in me To take that 3 hour drive you see. Each and every time I come All I want to do is run. Run away and never turn back A family bond I sure do lack. A mother’s love is what I crave But a hug and money is all she gave. My sisters and I we try and try To understand mother as the years go by. But nothing about her ways makes sense She’s cold and hard and always on the defense. Through the years she’s done much wrong But the love of my mother I still do long. Though the bad memories of her will never erase I prayed through my kids they might be replaced. Maybe they would chase away her pain And my love for her would not be in vain. When they’re around her it’s clear to see There’s nothing left, no mystery. Who she is; is what she’ll be All I see is a repeat of history. A history filled with hurt and pain To protect my children I must break the chain. This chain has bound me in so many ways It almost claimed my life - on several days. Lay


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

As my Mother Slips Away

I called my mother the other day- just to listen to her voice
She answered dear Steve – yes this is me- how are you this day
I said I was fine- it has been some time- I searched for more words to talk
She cantered a bit then came to a halt- as I began to say 
Mother dear- this is Mark- how are you today 
Mark she replied- I have a Mark- he was the oldest of three
How is school - are you making good grades- are you coming home real soon
I told her I would- If only I could- would she know me anyway
I visited my mother the other day- at a home for Alzheimer patients
Her stare in the air- made it be known- that she could not remember
I sat by her side- we nibbled on crackers- we looked out the window pane 
Then I was father- she told me she miss me –I cried a thousand tears
She reached for my hand- I did not resist- I was blessed to make her happy
How are you Tom- I said I was fine- The kids will be home soon
I told her it’s time- I must go home - I have to work tomorrow 
I took her hand- I’ll see you soon- Goodbye Steve she told me

As my Mother slips away today- how precious are my memories
For after this world –I can hardly wait- for my Mother to recognize me


Details | Rhyme | |

I Hate Aunt Floe

NOTE: This poem is a humoruos stab at PMS from a mans point of view

I can see your blood boiling
through  the blades I once called eyes,
they were once beautiful  like jewels
now they hurt my deep insides.
cutting at my guts
and like a noose on my  lungs;
your words seek like bullets 
your mouth like sniper guns.
I’m hit with each inaccuracy…
Being killed by words untrue;
and you even got the nerve
to tell me what you think I do.
But let me get mad
and try to plead my case;
then suddenly the world
is a f--ked up place.
You got tears running down…
What the Hell did I do?
We were just sitting and laughing
I could swear that we were cool.
Oh God…
Oh no…;
I should have seen it… 
It’s Aunt Floe…,
This battle can’t be won or reasoned
I think its best I go.
Cause I hate Aunt Floe 
and she hate me too;
she sit and talk sh-t
about the gum I chew. 
The color of my shirt…,
She say my look is a stair;
She say my best has no worth
And she doesn’t stop there.
I didn’t change
I’ve been the same 
these 28 days,
 but now I’m f_ckin A__hole 
Aunt Floe gave me that name.  
She said get out my face 
This aint your home no more,
But I’m more puzzled by 
What was said before.
I love you 
With her glossy eyes 
I knew it was true, 
But horribly sly
You see these words
make me the fool.
The one that’s cruel
That a__hole dude,
That sparked the fuel
To this f__kin feud.
But I swear to God
I didn’t start this sh_t,
Why would I give up my love 
To live my life like in a pit.
 This is horrible sh_t 
Wasted days spent,
On nothing but the worst
I could be bathed in your sent. 
You could be laughing 
While I’m smiling
But Aunt Floe Won’t let this be,
And the only way to make this right
Is hold my tongue  a week.
And that ain’t gone happen 
I’m a person too,
Not soft
But I got feelins
and don’t know what  to do.
Now its been six days
Unbelievable  rage,
She locked herself 
In the room
I call it her cage.
I smell a sent in the air
It wasn’t there before,
Now lookin down the hall
I see an open door.
Is this a trap 
I’ll guess I’ll see,
If I fall for another
 You know that’s dumb ass me.
Curled in the bed 
I think I know that girl,
But where’s the hells Aunt Floe
The one that f__ked my world.
She packed up and gone
Didn’t even say good bye,
Just came wit gang of bullsh_t
And vanished in the sky.
Is that you my dear
Can you please come here,
Listen close and crystal clear…
I hate Aunt Floe
 Next time she here
Make sure I’m stocked
with weed and beer.
I love you punk.  ?


Details | Terza Rima | |

The Past

A migration to escape the past,
Just a mother and her son
Together on a journey that won’t last.

Coming to America, they thought they’d won,
For twelve years the start of a new life
Through sweat and struggle, overcoming the transition.

A mother soon to be a new wife
Contracted a disease so deadly,
She had to undergo the knife.

Leaving her son with a mournful melody
As she ascended that one lonely October morning,
Overwhelmed with bittersweet tears, so sad yet so heavenly.


Details | Rhyme | |

I Know Of Someone Holding Unforgiveness


I Know of Someone Holding Unforgiveness! I know of someone holding unforgiveness! This has led to a life of much bitterness! Toward his brother, he’s held on to a grudge. From his viewpoint, he won’t even “budge.” No matter what God’s word has clearly spoken… He’s walked with a heart that’s been broken! His son prayed that God would speak to him! That he would forgive, so God could heal him! Forgiveness is a powerful thing to do! If you want God’s mercy to flow through you! We’re not called to “hold back,” the love God’s given! Through Christ shed blood… We’re all forgiven! May the love of Christ come and touch us! It’s no secret how much God really loves us! Please come Lord Jesus! And touch our soul! May we express your love, wherever we go! May God’s gentle love, be what always binds us! HIS words; “love one another,” do remind us! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

We Need To Honor Our Parents

May We Honor Our Parents…

I know of many parents who tried their best to raise their kids.
Many of their hearts cry because of how their children live.

There’s many who’ve tried to teach their children God’s holy ways.
What was taught, seems to be lost…  In a matter of days.

Many parent’s pray for their children’s lives.
Many of their children choosing to live a life of “lies.”

Scripture says to honor our parents, 
that our days may be long.
But any kind of honor to them…, 
Many feel doesn’t belong!

The advice and warnings from parents 
seem to be ignored.
Many of their children say they’re 
“too old fashioned and bored.”

There’s a message for the young people that needs to be clear!
You need to honor your parents! 
 One day they shall “disappear!”

God gave us the parents we have, 
whether we accept this or not.
We need to think about the things that our parents taught!

May we seek to live lives that will bring honor and grace.
In our hearts, may we keep our parents in a “special place!”

May we share from our hearts, the love our lord has given!
May we share his love while
 our parents are still livin’!

The love we can give our parents is a treasure untold!
The gift of having parents is more precious than gold!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

A Very Inviting Temptation

A Very Inviting Temptation! I remember of a particular situation. I was offered a very "inviting" temptation. The situation I was in... I didn't belong! And lost any sense of "right and wrong." At first... I felt no guilt or shame. And brought embarrassment to my family's name. I tried to explain this to my wife and kids. I heard; "Dad... please... no more fibs!" The Godly principles were "tossed to the side," As the sin inside caused arrogance and pride. Soon, all in my life that truly mattered... Was gone! My life was empty and shattered! I was sorry for all of the problems I caused! This time... I took a moment to pause. I cried to God to rescue me from my sin. I confessed! Would God help me once again? I read in the Bible of Jesus’ grace and love! This time the help I needed had to come from above! I asked him for a fresh and brand new start. He removed the stain from a broken heart. He restored to me the joy I once had. I'm so blessed! Jesus has made me glad! Jesus is the reason I'm here today! I LOVE HIM more than words can say! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Rain and Wind

The wind blew events all over the place.
Intense emotions and it gave chase.
Lightning lighting to show us the sky.
People try to sleep and not cry.
Wisping by the wind keeps us awake.
The time trying to sleep the storms take.
Chills in everyone gives all shiver.
The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver.
Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop.
The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop.
People have seen such devastation.
The road that people made was week in creation.
Rivers near by was over flowing.
Trees that were there was not showing.
By the hour it claimed many.
My father woke up and did not see any.
Floating by was a boat.
Keeping people above water and a float.
My father kept a canoe.  
That some day we would use it, that he knew.
Time to paddle up and down the street.
The rain water kept getting on our seat.
It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud.
Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud.
The smell of moist water never seem to go away.
My brothers seem to still sleep anyway.
My head was bobbing up and down.
I was so tired that I could not hear a sound.
The wind blew back and fourth.
It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth.
Till all the people we saw with grace.
Help us out with embrace.
The time was so late at night.
Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight.
The fight with the weather was so hectic.
The feelings of energy was electric.
Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand.
When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand.
With hard workers like my mom and dad.
They make things happen that is not bad.
Rough with weather they experience more than ever.
Leaders they are they are very clever.
From the night light of street lights to the morning glow.
The wind did not stop so.
Bringing in more clouds that ill.
The people who were still tired still had will.
The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side.
Pushing and the force brought water inside.
The battle of our hour was getting long.
Backup people came to aid us was strong.
Rested they were to keep everyone with hope.
The people stopped the water with the strength of rope.
Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together.
It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather.
Chaos comes happiness how true.
This is why we are human that gives us a clue.
It is our nature to keep rain falling.
To know when it is time for our calling.
The winds bring such pain and sorrow.
That is why rain sometimes fallow.








Details | Rhyme | |

No Job Can't Pay the Bills TRY JESUS


Here I sit, uncertain of what lies ahead.
I’m still wondering how my family will be fed.

I once had a job that provided a sense of “security.”
Now I don’t…  And I have a lot of uncertainty!

I have unpaid bills, and I’m not sure what to do.
I’ve asked for help.  But not sure who to turn to!

I get discouraged, and feel life “pulling me down.”
I’ve tried just about every job that’s in town.

The dreams I had, have been shattered and smashed.
At times, I feel like I’m just “a piece of trash.”

My wife tried to support me, the best that she can.
But she doesn’t know me…  Or even understands!

Dear Jesus…  You’re the only left that I haven’t tried.
There’s been many nights I laid awake and cried!

I read in the Bible, where your love for me is real!
When I call on your name...  There’s a love I can feel!

Whatever happens, please help me Lord, to trust you!
Whatever tomorrow holds, may I still love you!

I know that you’re a foundation, that I can stand on!
Jesus is a friend!  That I can always depend on!

Jesus, if I lose everything that I have or that I hold on to...
My I always remember your faithfulness
 and never forget you!

Here I stand… With my burdens lifted from me!
It’s because of Jesus!  And how much he loves me!

I praise HIS name!  And lift my hands to the sky!
He’s in control now!  I don’t have to ask the reason why!

Jesus…  Please take control of my worries and desires!
Above all of my problems, I lift your name up higher!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

The Wound

When my mother died
My craving eyes rained
And tormented soul cried
Blood sucked and energy drained

The sky fell, the sun eclipsed
It was a horrifying dark day
The fragrant breeze turned into easterly wind
O God! Orphaned at the age of twelve, why say

The spear of loneliness pierced my heart
Causing deep bleeding wound
Pointed at me was misfortune’s dart
All my hopes and aspirations drowned

Seasons came and seasons went
In the desert of heart autumn never changed
Gardens were filled with bloom’s scent
The butterflies with colors artfully arranged

My heart remained a symbol of despair
No one ever shared my grief
My cancerous wound alone to bear
I searched and searched but no relief

(Winner in the Member Contest of Destroyer Poet judged on 6-20-2012)


Details | Free verse | |

Hope

The phone rings innocently.
Who is at the other side?
Could be no one then yet a peculiar feeling tells
me it is the bearer of bad news.
Still I answer hoping I am wrong.
My mother is ill, trapped between two worlds; 
the worlds of fear and courage.
My ears hear every word but my mind has created a 
sudden barrier that nothing seems to
penetrate like some sort of
steel web of unwanted denial.
Fear floods my body like a torrent
river flow, eroding strength
and stability.
How much longer can I bare it?
Never it seems but hope still glimmers 
regardless of how dim.
Miles are between us, 
I feel numb and unexpectedly lost.
Where am I?
It’s certainly not here in the presence 
of fallen angels.
The bell of hope strikes a sharp note creating a 
gentle chime awaking my
senses to the news,
they are sharpened making
the fear of loss suddenly
commanding, corrupting my
inner strength making it weak.
I continue to listen all the 
while my body is screaming
in protest.
The voice stopped, I hung up,
the pain and fear never lessened.
Time went by all the while my
mind was constantly in a state
of anguish and grief.
Endless stories were created,
each one worse than the last.
My family begun to shatter like
a broken mirror, reflecting only
the scars of misery and needless
hurt.
Hope still glimmered but appeared
distant and out of reach.
My mind grew tender, endless misery
has eaten away at my last thoughts
of happiness.
The sting of fear created heartache
for the bond between mother and child
was nearly severed,
severed by the hands of
an unwanted deity.
A deity of life itself.



Details | ABC | |

please (by kimmy holmes, my daughter)

mom
love you
need you
please
love me
need me 
too


Details | Lyric | |

Nature's Sigh

The Black butterfly waves away her adorations
All she seeks is seclusion, subsuming slave to mortification
The Dear Air is all she can breath, captive of imaginary dreams
The Beacon resonates, but the hope isolates
The Wasteland's silky fingers caressing the virgin's face

So she is now, the covet of the damned
Programmed to every victim's pain
Carrying the weight of every sorrow
Drowning in wrongs she does not know
But paradise is at loss; she must go

Nature sighs after the bite
All my hopes fading
Don't look at me with those sorrowful eyes
How do you know exactly what I'm feeling?
I'm just the ghost flower passing by
And you can hear nature's sigh


Details | Haiku | |

What People Were and What People Are

People were
Many things.
Strange or not

People were
Different and
Odd and fun.

People were
Monsters but…
That’s not all

People were
And still are
Strange and odd.

People are
People. For
life is life. 

Yet not.
Not is lies.
Truth seeps from

Every mouth
Lies, lies, lies
Move, move, move

But somehow
Lies prevail.
Lies are life.

Lies are death.
Lies are homes.
Lies are pain.

Lies are truth.
Yet somehow.
Truth prevails.

Truth is life.
Truth is death.
Truth is home.

Truth is pain.
Truth is lie.
Truth is that.

Lies will die.
Lies will cease.
Nevermore.

Truth will live.
Truth will be.
Forever.


Details | Rhyme | |

America Is Being DESTROYED From Within

 

As sin and perversion often become integrated… So many lives and families are being “disintegrated.” Many are being driven by sin’s temptation force… It’s no wonder much of this country is way “off course.” The morality and values that once made a great nation. Are evaporating…. Leading to a “spiritual separation.” Love, honor, and respect of God… Is often a “thing of the past.” Anything of God seems to be disappearing FAST! God is our only hope! And him alone! Only he can bring healing to our broken homes! He’s the answer to this wounded nation, that bleeds! It’s only God that can meet all of our needs! He’s our provider… The great: “I am!” Won’t you reach out to him? And give him your hand? Why not give him a chance? And allow him in? A brand new life for you… Is waiting to begin! May we allow God’s holiness and love to reach down into our hearts… Asking; “Lord please forgive our sins!” Is a good place to start! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Concrete | |

Observer

A serpent underneath blue sky,
in shade of man, in twinkle of an eye,
above brick wall, in the structure, at the floor,
venom of white dove; contaminated food, undrinkable water,
misguided youth, pregnant daughter, unfaithful father and hateful son,
mothers do pray while we walk through Babylon;
on teli and in the press, on top shells,
price none the less, in bedroom and at your door..
dawn of a new day seemed to be dark,
after all.


Details | Alliteration | |

Writer Crazy

Life is so crazy/ 
Death so busy it never get's lazy/ 
Thoughts blurred and blinded by true lies that they always get hazy/ 
The mother ****ing devil is always trying to chase me/ 
But I'm stronger than that I won't ever let *****like that ever ****ing faze me/
 I no longer care if any muther ****ers want to over or under rate me/ 
I've already been ****ing up on my own lately/ 
I take your ****ing criticism greatly/ 
*****es I'm too real for any of you fake mother ****ers to fake me/ 
I'm too ****ing still in God's foundation to let the devil shake me/ 
I'm the general, the king of my own *****nobody can't ever break me/ 
**** what people say for I am the maker of my own *****people can't ever make me/
 I'm the leader and deliverer of my own *****you can never take me/ 
Who want to question *****about *****mother ****ers thats why I'm Writer Crazy.....


Details | Quintain (English) | |

Mom

The thought of you makes me feel choked
Speaking your name is like swallowing glass
If you were in my arms you would be blood soaked
The foul memories of you never pass

You did nothing good for me
Made me feel like i was rotting inside
I tore out my eyes cause you were all i could see
I wanted to kill you, so i tried

You filled my mind with corrupt thoughts
Forced me to say lies like "love you lots"
But my hate for you, you can never comprehend
I want to watch your pain never end

Why do you keep me here tormenting me
Cant you see what you did to me
Why do you act like you did nothing to make my heart sore
I hate you so what am i here for

You took away everything i ever cared for
I will hate you in my heart to the very core
I want to spill your guts on the floor
Because every day i hate you more and more!


Details | Light Poetry | |

DADDY

A father is someone that 
holds your hand at the fair
makes sure you do what your mother says
holds back your hair when you are sick
brushes that hair when it is tangled because mother is too busy
lets you eat ice cream for breakfast 
but only when mother is away
he walks you down the aisle
and tells you everythings gonna be ok 


Details | I do not know? | |

You Let Me Down

I waited every day

Hoping to see your face,

But I never saw it again.



You were supposed to

Be there for me, you were

Supposed to love me.



Momma, what did I

Do wrong? Why didn't

You love me anymore?



You left me with strangers,

Walked away from me

When I needed you to stay.



You let me down

In the worst possible way,

It hurt so much.



Even now my beating heart

Still breaks when I think

Back on those days.



Those days when I waited

To see your face just one

More time but never did.



Those days when I wished

You were her, hugging me,

Telling me she loved me.



But it's over now and I'm

Doing okay, I swear that

I will never be just like you.



You who chose her drugs

And alcohol over the one

Thing you should've chosen.



But it's too late for regrets,

And it's funny, after all this

Time, I can't seem to hate you...


Details | I do not know? | |

Blank Page

i'm a blank page
empty
waiting for someone 
to leave their mark
empty
words fill the page
my life's words
marred by scars inflicted
by another
gashes, cuts
but still empty
but wish it wasn't 
pieces are torn and lost 
words faded and worn
stains of blood and tears
fill the spaces
a filthy piece of paper
and yet it's still empty


Details | Free verse | |

In My Community

Our Ancestors fought to the death,
Just so we can live a brighter day,
So before you light up that blunt of meth,
Think about what you’re giving away,
It was a glad day in history when Obama rose to victory,
The first black president was all we knew,
Dark skin is in!
Haven’t you heard?
That even in our community, 
You can get burned,
It’s a sad day when people would rather stay home and “Crank That Amber Cole”,
Than get up and run to a poll,
In our community,
Rockin’ Luis V is better than having a college degree,
And teen pregnancy is not only a trend,
But the single motherhood that follows should end,
Young girls learn of a wonderful prince to take them away,
Nothing should change thought their mothers prince didn’t stay,
And as the tears fade away,
She grows stronger every day,
In our community,
Fighting is no longer a word,
You argue with someone and shots are heard,
Girls showing places the sun don’t show,
So how do they expect the community to grow?
Where love is a figment of imagination,
Making a young child question her creation,
Young mothers would rather buy the iPhone 5,
Then satisfy her baby’s cries,
While her new man’s eye,
Wander up another girl’s thighs,
In our community,
Where #team dark skin vs #team light skin,
Makes others not love the skin they’re in,
Love, lust, hate, and trust,
Giving a rose on Valentine’s Day is no longer a must, 
Where bad is good and good is bad,
Who would think to see their grandmother sad?
Her hurt and pain,
Shows how our community has lost everything her parents fought to gain.


Details | Rhyme | |

Jesus My Life Is One HUGE Embarrassment


For many years... My life has been an embarrassment! Filled with hopelessness and discouragement! Many things I thought I had enjoyed... Have left in me... A large and empty void! Many nights, I would cry myself to sleep. Knowing the hole my life was in, was very, very deep. Then one day, I called out to God! I wasn’t sure if he’d listen! My family, my old church, I was now missin'. My family prayed for me for so many years. I often brought them embarrassment and tears. God... I tried everything else... I want to come back to you! I need you now Jesus! I really do! Please come into my heart, and cleanse me within! Set me free from all addictions and sin! I know that you will never let go of my hand. My whole life, on your word, I shall now stand. Only you can satisfy the emptiness in my soul! I am now complete, satisfied, and made whole! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

The Ugliness Of Divorce


My parents taught me the Christian ways.
I was taught to obey what the Bible says.

I was proud of my parents!  I really was!
And loved them so much…  Just because!

They meant everything to me!  I was proud!
Until one day...  There appeared “a dark cloud.”

It was like a “darkness” hovered above.
Leaving their marriage empty of needed love!

Though they were together many years.
There were many cracks that soon appeared.

I say a once happy home soon destroyed.
Being with one another….  They no longer enjoyed!

How could this happen! I had wondered…
To see a happy marriage “totally plundered

As sin crept in...  And allowed to prevail.
Very soon this marriage simply failed.

May this be a warning for me and you…
That our commitment remains faithful and true!

If your marriage is heading toward separation…
Please seek God for a healing and restoration!

If your planning to have a divorce..
Jesus’ love can put it on the right course!

He can replace the brokenness and hurt within..
And can put your lives back together AGAIN!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Grief

Afraid alone, no comfort to hold
Empty she tries to hide her life deep inside
No solace to seek, No friend to find
One life, one mother who’s bitter and cold

One faithful day a friend appears
Finds a comfort she sort for many years
But still dazed mother is the source of her fears
Cry she does, as long as nobody at home hears

He gave her his family when she none
Gave her love, she saw only in dreams
Her mother did not see what it means
A premature labour that turn her mum numb

She turned to drugs to cope with the pain
It turned her violent, her child she blamed
Blood on the table, forever stained
Two broken hearts, only one remains 
----------------------------------------------------------------

Inspired by Heart on a Chain by Cindy C Bennett


Details | Elegy | |

My Kashmir Burns (Part 1)

I picture Kashmir through lightened KL. News of another massacre darkens my eyes
Winds are thirsty there. They continue to taste the young blood.
I groom myself with exquisite things,
Sipping ice tea in ac room, I comfort myself
And Kashmir burns. Kashmir set ablaze

I can smell the warm blood of beaten corpse
Where from winds bought this smell. Somewhere Karbala reborn.
Mosques are being slammed
There windows stoned. And the black boots leave their footprints on Mimber
Even God judges on evidence
There is one Imaam left now; he hides her daughters in his shadow
A blunt knife in his hands; soon he will sacrifice them to keep their innocence
Kashmir is burning. Kashmir is bleeding
And I write.

Army jeep chases the tracks. To find the associated bodies
They are alive now. Soon they will be dead
From Patan to Sopor, And in narrow passages of nostalgic downtown
Ghosts of curfew
Haunt the houses for young souls.

From the Kupwara cantonments, search lights chase emptiness
Nothing is left now. Search lights can’t see inside the graves
A boy there went missing for two days. His father starts digging his grave.
I put my earphones on and I close my eyes. I sleep
While my Kashmir is ablaze
“It’s me poor farmer’s son. Kupwara’s charm, I feel no pain”.
I see him so alive in my dreams.
He chants songs of Mahjoor from his burnt lips. My hands shiver. He has no finger nails.
I see his smoke tanned skin. Same as that of Khayam’s barbeques
He stands at a distance from me. I can still smell kerosene
“Tell my mother to let her heart become cold. Her heart will not bear my state.
Tell my mother to let her eyes become blind. Her eyes will not withstand my sight.”
I follow him towards his tortured body. He tells me to follow the spilled blood.
His blood has made its own Jhelum. I row on it. Until it gets lost in black boots
The story will turn into legend. I find his body no more.

On the streets silence prevails. Nobody has permission to wail.
Sisters are beatifying coffins while brothers look for stones.
For bullets there will be stones
Kashmir is ablaze. She is wailing in grotesque tones.
In Lal Ded hospital a new born cries: Father register me at cantonment then take me out
Death is recruiting in dozens at a time.
Tomorrow is curfew. Death has no curfew pass.
How they want to identity you. Becomes your identity
People burn up all you identity cards.


Details | Quatrain | |

The Echo of a Soul

The Echo of a Soul 
By Andrew Weeden 

In the windswept hills of vibrant green, 
Here I sit at your lonely grave. 
The bright flower that made my heart beam, 
Is the wilted flower I could not save.  

From the beginning I did not know, 
I was oblivious from the start; 
Cancer’s blade cut away your happy glow 
And would thrust to pierce my very heart.  
 
Consumed in the darkness of raging anger, 
Ten years I stand alone in the rain. 
With death no longer a distant stranger; 
My only companion in the storm of pain.  

Now it seems no one remembers, 
But you did not cease to be. 
Your spirit still burns in glowing embers 
And lives inside the fire in me.  

The storm is passing; I finally see its end. 
Happiness smiles again and shakes me to my core.  
I realize every time I lift my pen 
My Grandma speaks once more! 

Reflections of your love 
Weave tapestries in time. 
As a singing mourning dove, 
Your words whisper in my mind. 

So though you had to go, 
You remain in your begotten; 
As an echo of a soul, 
Gone but not forgotten. 


Details | Free verse | |

Set Me Free

There was a baby happy and free
The apple of the eye of his family
Playing around and hiding in the trees
Whoever thought it’s his last smile they see

Through the darkness of the jungle came
Man-devils whose creation God is to blame
Cut the kid down with lethal shots
His body ripped like a shattered earthen pot

I was the one who led those men
Swooping down from our mountain den
Snuffing out the little flame of his life
My mind, since then, is full of strife

The mother came with her eyes in tears
The sight sent my body into shivers
The boy in her arms looked full of life
The hole in his heart told me it was a lie

The mother laid the baby on my lap and cried
Is this my baby, the one who died?
You’re the one who killed him, you devil in disguise
May Gods curse you, may heavens you despise

Lord! Why did I make this grave mistake?
Why was it this kid whose life I had to take?
Why did I take a life when I cannot give?
Do I have anymore right to live?

I cried tears of guilt and pain
And gave the grieving mother my gun
I told her relieve me of my misery
Kill me before I kill again

The mother said with a sad smile on her face
You have sinned and punishment you must face
But killing you would only set you free
And I will be the culprit to your family

You will suffer everyday of your life
You will bleed lots more than my little child
You will burn in the self hating fire of hell
You will die everyday and live to tell

That day on I’ve cried a million tears
Hating myself for all these years
There’s nothing I can do to escape this hell
I feel I am falling into an endless well

God! I cannot ask for forgiveness please
I cannot ask for salvation
All I ask for is to set me free
From this dreary life full of misery


Details | Free verse | |

Mama

Skeletal,
shriveled,
your shell's a delicate, dry
and brittle casing,
soon shed.
Now,
age accumulates and,
exiled and bewildered --
all free choice fled --
death's an unknown terror.
You miss your home,
cannot understand how,
to those who once bent to your will,
you've faded to a shadow,
powerless, almost forgot,
a consequence of the natural order.
Enjoy the moments in the sun,
your food, your precious life's breath
that I listen for at night.
I cling, and mourn your life --
so changed.
Your stroke
has paralyzed us both...
my pity, cloaked in love,
is but another grievous wound
you bear.


Details | Free verse | |

My Mama

My Mama she trips out in the moon light
when I’m safely tucked up in bed
she dresses to wow her audience
but I know not of her occupation
when I ask I am greeted by silence
and then “You will understand when you grow up”

My Mama she returns at break of day
before the curtains begin to twitch or draw
she’ll come in exhausted and fix my breakfast
then checking in on me she’ll wake me for school
before she goes off to bed – she’ll see me later
to ask about my day and play

A Mamas kiss, a smile, a hug, warmth, food and a roof
Yet when we go out together people turn 
to talk to one another, quietly nodding
Funny looks are cast our way and yet not one shall speak to us
Aged nine in school I find out why 
when another child will laugh

“Ya Mama works the streets
lies on her back, watches the sky – to feed ya
-Tis what my Ma said”
It makes me cry
I love my Mama
but this shame hurts

I want to die…


Details | Rhyme | |

Motherhood - Part I

Unprepared I am
For this gift and its trappings
Unceasing intolerable sobbing and gasping
With what shall I arm my fragile domain?
I am forced to endure all of your pain

Yet there you remain; desperate needy thing
How heavily you weigh upon heartstrings
Colossal guilt at my frustrations…
Silently enraged by well-meaning congratulations

Engulfing, drowning, diminishing my abilities
Overwhelmed entirely by this responsibility
Love refuses to come automatically
Remembrances of sleep dying dramatically

Yet there you lie…desperately needing me
Blissfully unaware of my insecurities
Deprivation, depression, and pain cloud my heart
While I watch all the others make it look like fine art

Effortlessly mothering, bright eyes and broad smiles
So sorry for you, that you have missed that by miles
Incapable of such patience, second-guessing my decision
Wishing for earlier precognitive vision

Yet there you are, sleeping quietly now
Entrusted to me, even though I have no idea how
To possibly show you what all of this means
To ever live up to all of you dreams

We’re bound together, you and me
For better or worse, for all eternity
So here is my promise, maybe all I can give:
I will never abandon you for as long as I live

Yet there you lie…aware of me even in deepest sleep
Turning towards me just to listen to my heartbeat deep
Within this fragile undeserving frame
Now I will begin to love you, as I whisper your name


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Gone too far

Perturbed by you, my family and friends.
I’m losing. Propaganda is told and sold
So cheaply, wantonly squandered against my trust.
To never fight for life together or again.
Is immoral pleasure gained from your lies?
It’s unexpectedness swift, so cutting inside.

The outcome real to me if not to you,
I feel the hurt, the closing love we knew
One time from birth, no more is ours to share.
To drink from your well, shallow with love I found
Flavours too strong and harsh to drink for long.
I tried and failed will nevermore wonder why.


Details | I do not know? | |

What people might think

People may say that i am a spoiled little brat.
    Only becuase they see what they wan't to see.
   We all have been through things in our life time that we just want to forget, but we just can't  seem to forget.

My mom has put me through many things "but lets not say" in the past.  And i have learned from some of those things.  It made me a stronger person inside and outside. 

  I don't know my father at all. I wasn't even born when my mom was around him.
 But i have a loving family.

I would never change my past even if i had the chance.  Becuase if i did then i wouldn't be 
where i am now.

 People who are out there that are judging people based on how they act or look, are stupid. Wise up and grow up... 
Those people you judge have a GOOD reason for the way they look or act.
 And maybe they need some one there to talk to. To get things off their 
back.

                        Just like the saying. "Don't judge a book by it's cover"



*just something  that i had to say* :)comment if you have a thought (or fav poem if you like it)*
  
                                        


Details | Shape | |

EYES IN THE STORM

                                         
                                             "I shall be telling this with a sigh"  
                                                          ~Robert Frost, the Road Less Traveled~

            __________________________________________________




                                                       *anger
                                                   bipolar*anguish
                                              anger*bipolar*angish
                                        anguish*bipolar*anger*bipolar
                               ger *bipolar*                           guish*bipolar
                         lor* anguish*      Sweet gifts,            polar*anger
                 olar*anger*an      Your beautiful rifts,          nger*bipolar
          nger* bipolar*        Short, serendipitous shifts,        nguish*bipol
          uish*anger        I handle fragile remains with care.        er*bipolar
         anguish* b       Memories of the other you I treasure,       angish*bip
       lar*anger*    The one who smiled and gently braided hair.     r*bipolar
          lor*an      I remember each of those winter days; you’d        ish*bipol
           olar*a        start a fire in our wood stove and warm a       anguish*bip     
         *anguish*     blanket, then make me hot chocolate so       polar*ang
              bipolar*         that when I returned from my cold           nger*bipola
                  lar*anger      walk home, I was surrounded       nguish*ange
                 *anguish*bi        by warmth and comfort.          bipolar*ang
                       bipolar*ang     ~Eyes in the storm~          anger*bipol
                            ish*bipo            Comfort still.                 uish*an
                                  lar*anger                                 lar*ang        
                                             bipolar*anger*anguish
                                                       *anguish*







By Cyndi MacMillan, Oct 6, 2011
For Constance's "Give me a kiss, Mommy"Contest


Details | Cinquain | |

Eyes On Me???

Eyes on me,
People watching,
In my direction?
Can't they look somewhere else?

Feeling uneasy,
Discomfart rises, too.
Afraid to mess up,
Afraid to fail.

Eyes are on me.
I feel pale.
I freeze.

I don't want
The attention.


Details | Narrative | |

Una Visita con Mama -- A Visit With Mama

We walk the rocky shore
and you lean heavily on me,
Mother, bruising my balky arm --
muttering "Ay, Hijo!";
a few steps and, breathless,
we are both exhausted.
Your once-brown eyes, gone gray,
are like concentric rings
rippling from a random stone
thrown into a polluted pond
in winter: eyes as flat
as the latex paint that
coats a cheerless rented room.
Cataracts circle your lenses;
they have a ruptured look --
purple, jellied -- like the eyes
of a dead fish, which I poke,
perversely fascinated.
It is puffed and rotten.
Your eyes are puffed, too, red-rimmed,
moist with tears that brim over
though you try to blink them back.
That you love me and I you,
and that we wish to extend
our time together, is clear --
as clear as the black water
in the pond, as clear as your
cataract-clouded eyes,
as clear as my conscience
when I drop you at the Home,
cleverly inventing an important
meeting, to which I hastily fly.


Details | Monorhyme | |

No One Told Me

No One Told Me
A cement block is tied to my heart
Need a running start
At night my voice carries like a lark
Death’s arrow has hit its mark
My life is so dark
The side of the ocean is full of sharks
Some days I feel like such a tart
I used to be such a sweetheart
No one told me life would be so hard.


Details | Rhyme | |

Does Family Really Matter Anymore


A family had a wedding...  The brother wasn’t invited.
The fact they didn’t want him,.. 
Was already decided!

When asked why his name had been “omitted.”
It was because of past wrongs he had committed.

The words spoken, one could hardly believe it!
Any kind of forgiveness? 
 They didn’t receive it!

How many times are loved ones not
 invited to “family occasions.”
Often times, families listen to “outside persuasions.”

Someone does something, 
that may not be liked.
Then they’re often told to “go take a hike!

No wonder why many families 
battle one another!
They have failed to truly love each other!

As we continue to see families drift apart.
This often leads to a wounded 
and broken heart!

Christ gave us his best!  
When we were at our lowest!
A life of mercy and forgiveness…  
He wants to show us!

If we can’t treat one another
 as Christ commands…
Then HIS way of family living….  
We’ll never understand!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

I Knew Someone Who Wanted to End It All

I Knew Someone Who Was Ready to “End It All!” I knew of someone who just wanted “to end it.” Giving up on life, and did not want to “defend it.” It was a heart wrenching and difficult situation. He said what he wanted to, with no explanation! I could see his face and the sad look in his eyes! What he was going to do next, was anyone’s surprise. He turned to drugs and encountered addictions. With this brought much disease and afflictions! He gave up on the wonderful family that was given. And turned to a pretty wild and crazy way of livin’! I told him about a God who loves him very deeply. As he listened, he began to grow restless and weary. I reached for his hand and began to pray for God’s power! It was a miracle! The blood of Jesus changed him that hour! The spirit of God brought healing and hope to his body! He was so excited! He rushed out to tell everybody! The “end” that he wanted, seemed to just fade away! For the son of the living God, changed him this day! The glory of God, and the power of Jesus’ resurrection… Changed him! And got him going in a NEW direction! He’s so thankful for the blood of Christ’ atonement! And is a different person now, because of that moment! This same Jesus loves and can do the same for YOU! Through the problems of life… He will see you through! By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

Gold Star

Sometimes I sit and ponder
what it may be like
to have parents, not always 
looking for a petty fight
the love you feel, always
being there for you
day o' night

I wake up fighting a
constant battle,
I feel like I am in a circus
having to jump through hoops
my parents hold
to earn their admiration and 
approval

Earning their gold star
for the day
I was a rebel since day one
not trying to conform
dancing to the beat of a 
different drummer

Wishing to be accepted 
for who I want to be
and how I seek to spend my hours
nothing I ever do, seems to be good
enough

They talk about "emotional deposits"
i.e. spending time with them
but they spend too much time
picking and proving
reacting wrong, saying ignorant assumptions
they push me away, each day
'further and further I go
as soon as I make enough money
I'm gone

They act as if my artistic mind 
couldn't make money
like my dreams are distant relatives
of which I will never meet
but I strive to prove them wrong

Its bad enough being
one person versus the world
but when the army you fight
is led by your family, your blood
it's twice as hard to get up
in the morning, when the suns
rays dance on my closed
eyelids 

I try my best to be the kind
of person I want to be
despite their efforts to kill off
my individualistic soul
I have given up trying
to belong to which I 
was born unto
I'm simply playing the game

Hoping to win, one day
the chance to be myself
as I feel emulates me,
and regardless
have a proud
Mommy and Daddy
I do pray, I shall be
 free to be 
Heather Rose Marie


Details | Lyric | |

December

Arguing with one another
Texting back and forth
Owen drives in the blizzard
Kurt is at home

Kurt sends Owen another message
"why did you tell them about me doing drugs?"
"that wasnt your place, i dont care if there your parents too"
"shouldnt i be the one to tell them?"

Owen tries to reply to the message Kurt has sent him
He loses control of the wheel
driving into a field 
Kurt recieves a message from Owen
"Im sorry I..."
The message was never finished
The car slamming into a tree
The tree branch breaks through the window
Thrashing into Owens stomach
As Owens head slams back and forth
The car is left smoking

Kurt knows something is wrong
but leaves things be

50 Minutes Later...."

Kurt and Owen's parent recieve a call from the police
"Is this the parent of Owen Everdeen?" the police ask
the mother answers "yes is something wrong? is it Owen, what did he do now?"
"Mam', Your son was in a accident, they are life flighting him to the hospital"
She drops the phone, and grabs her purse and yells at Kurt to come on.

She drives fast to get to the hospital to see her son
Owen was life flighted to the hospital
The police had to use the jaws of life to get him out of his car

They finally make it to the hospital
The Dr. asking "Are you the mother of Owen?"
She cries "yes, where is my son?"
Kurt stands upset at himself for fighting with Owen minutes before
Remembering Owens last text to him. "im sorry I.."

The Dr. explains to the mother 
"Owen didnt make it"
She sits in sadness
Numbness
She cannot breathe

Kurt runs after the Dr.
"this cant be, he has to be ok" as he starts to cry.
Just the night before him and his brother
Were playing guitar hero together
Remembering the last moment
The arguing
The reqruet Kurt is now feeling

"Owen Ryan Everdeen: Jan. 1st, 1990- December 8th, 2011"
To a good brother and a great friend, im sorry about all those times i have let you down
Im sorry for yelling at you that night, and causing your crash, the guilt i feel wont leave
I am sorry that you went through that, and left this world that way, forgive me for what i 
have caused. I love you.


Details | I do not know? | |

REST IN PEACE MUM ANN BROWN 18 AUG 2011

MUM ...

WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM 


FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE 


GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND 

REGRET  FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO  SO ****ING MUCH ,

 THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING  A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST 

BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD 

YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE 

WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO 

LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE 

YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER , 

IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR 

PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME , 

FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR 

BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED 

YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.

THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,

NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.

IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,

I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,

ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,

ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.

GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,

THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,

TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.

ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,

ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,

HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,

AND LEAD THE WAY,

FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....

I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, 
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH  ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I  NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me


Details | Rhyme | |

Hyde

I saw her sitting by herself in the periphery;
She missed someone I knew was better than me.
Two halves don’t make a whole,
But two is company,
And I’m fair with trigonometry.

I don’t care about your boyfriend in Germany.
I don’t care about all the baggage you brought over from Florida,
Your daddy issues,
Your paradoxical self-defeated self-importance,
How you’re yesterday’s big news.
Please, take off your coat, have a drink,
Slip into my ruse.

If we’re not so lucky, 
I’ll introduce you to the person I keep 
Battered down inside
Of me.
The side
That hides 
Beneath the wide-
Eyed mind
Of helplessly
Restless nights.

I had years of therapists telling me to dig into that 
God damned clamoring tantrum of self.
Of course, the only time I asked for help,
I got tenfold pitches for prescriptions;
I got a hospital bed.
And a broken-record of out-of-time doctors 
That said it was all in my head.

And I wished I was dead.

When I was four years old,
My mother took me with her when she did men for drugs.
Or left me in her apartment, screaming;
She said, "Nothing ever shuts up."

The magazine says
I should consider a new medication,
And busy work and meditation.

Sweet girl, you probably don’t care for hell;
So call to tell him that everything’s swell.
In the morning I promise not to dwell.

Note to self:

If you’re reading this,
Please treat yourself well.
And quit chasing nightmares 
That teach you about yourself.


Details | Free verse | |

Survival Of The Fittest

Dropped out of school
At an early age
Lived on the streets 
Because, I disgusted my mother
She thought I was a poor example
Of true Christian beliefs
At an early age 
She religiously drummed into me
‘blood is thicker than water’
And yet, 
Here I am today confused, lonely and hungry
No one protecting me
No friends
No family
No home to go too
Just, peoples eye for an eye,
tooth for a tooth mentality
Praying for the sun to shine
To feel some warmth again!
Sun rays of hope, lighting me up
To live through this darkness without fear
With a heart full of faith
No matter what happens to me, now!
If only I could drink my salty tears
It would sustain me for a lifetime
Your tears are worth nothing, around here
You’re classed as weak and venerable
Only attracting death
Your life worth nothing!
Save me from myself
I am my best friend
I am my worst enemy
My prayers and dreams
Lost in the wind
Blowing around like autumn leaves
The rain washing them away
Down the drain into the sewage
Rolling with the seasons
Year after year
Survival for the fittest!
Surviving on the love
Hidden, inside me
Being my strength and guide
My personal lifeline
In surviving this crazy world 
We all live in


Details | Free verse | |

Tear in My Heart

My mother never knew what to do with me.
I was an obligation that needed to be. 
But I wanted her to love me.
Simply… love… me.
I would do anything to please her.
Wanting her to be proud, I worked hard at everything I did.
But she viewed me as her competition, not wanting to be out done.
Needless to say our relationship wasn’t what I wanted it to be.
I dreamed to have a family of my own to simply… love… me. 
I had a daughter who didn’t live. 
And my mom said someone like me shouldn’t have kids.
Though she didn’t know about my epilepsy and other problems with my health.
Then my life fell apart with hard times everywhere.
I didn’t show it but hidden…my health wasn’t all that good.
My husband’s diabetes affected his mind. And epilepsy was working on mine.
I ignored that fact. I worked hard as my epilepsy kept tearing every thing apart.
Finally with a hard earned job… Fourteen years later I had a son. 
The son I’d always wanted to have.
I was so very proud but was attacked by both health and son, at every turn.
He was wilder than most creating problems everywhere.
He blamed me for everything and everywhere something went wrong.
My health did it again at work as my relationship continued to crumble with my son.
He hated a mother who had to work, had epilepsy, and just wasn’t there for him. 
I was slowly dying when he was 12 and I was 52, when finally I was saved.
That night… I met God and he said I had more to be done along the way.
I came back and did every thing I could to help my wayward and unruly son.
But way before I helped him go to college… I knew I had lost my son.
But his best friend needed a mom so I was there for him.
It seems so strange to tell, but as my son moved out… His best friend simply moved in.
And it’s even stranger to tell that… 
The son who will occasionally smile at me, is someone else’s son.
He’s my heart-adopted son and has brought my first son closer again.
Jesus was always here and… the tear in my heart is gone.


Details | Senryu | |

The Kids of Divorce

Mom and Dad divorce; the kids are damaged for life; but some are relieved.


Details | Ode | |

You Don't Know

You don't know about the ish that i been through  
You don't know why its like this with me and you
  you only see the ish you wanna see 
 But you dont know the half of whats in me 
 I'm much more than what meets ya eye
  I lay awake some nights tryin not to cry
  Wishin we were close like you and your second child
  Maybe i should have rebelled and been a lil wild 
 Perhaps i should a pissed you off every chance i got  
Make you angry, get you pissed off and pippin hot
  Cause it did wonders fa y'all relationship 
 I always felt i got left over ish
 You told me i was a surprise 
 Rarely could i ever read love in your eyes
  And when i did i knew it wasn't there to stay
  Feelings for me change from day to day 
 Bet you didn't know i tried to take my own life 
Bet you didn't know i was once gone be a womans wife
  And i know you dont know about the time i was raped 
 Or about the time i was forced to make a video tape 
You couldn't know your baby girl should be a mother 
 Didn't know i was till i saw blood on the covers  
And there is still a list of ish you could never see  
Cause i keep all of this ish down deep inside of me 
 No it's not all your fault we're not like mom an daughter
  When i saw how things worked i could have tried harder 
  But yet and still this is the woman you raised 
 Taught to live on my terms , do things my way 
 I really  cant help how i am you see  
The best i can do is simply be me  
But you dont know the ish that i been through  
Only concerned about whats up with you 
But if you took the time to look under, not just above 
 Look deep inside, my heart is full of love 
And if you used more than just your eyes to see 
Maybe you could see the wonder known as Kimberly


Details | Free verse | |

A Crystal that Darkens

Winter is also celibate.  The conscience is moving,
A frozen light in a frozen eye.  It's raining much looser,
Down a ripped tree.  I couldn't have, 
I couldn't have, in this sin-sick tenderness.
              ___

My face is cracked in my fawnlike fingers;
And the nose betrays an inner child, who
Wouldn't listen to sparrows about being catched.
I just insisted fur was wings.
              ___

The feminine chill on the palm must be sorrow;
When I think of church bells, or mother- 
That I am haunting as raw love.


Details | Rhyme | |

I Come From Southern Fire

I come from nothing.
But all this pain
I come from tears
That fall like rain
 
I come from hours
Lost crying in corners
I come from times
We cried like mourners.
 
I come from a Father
That I wanted to please
I come from disappointment
That ended in “STOP! PLEASE!”
 
I come from the crashing
Of our heads being knocked
I come from the blows
I couldn't have blocked.
 
I come from two pups
Who were never let outside
I come from the ghosts
Of all the tears I've cried.
 
I come from the pain
Of a Mom who just watched
I come from the skin
On which bruises were blotched.
 
I come from the scars
That burn on my soul.
I come from the demons
And the dreams that they stole.
 
I come from the Father
I wish that I'd had
I come from the monster
And the screams of “Too bad!”
 
I come from the man
I wished gave a damn.
I come from the emptiness
That is who I am.
 
I come from the life
I've survived my way through.
And I come from a place
That you never knew.


Details | Elegy | |

LAST MOMENTS WITH MY MUM

She was thinning 'way-
Her color going gray
While she drowned in sweat:
"Gerald, have you slept?"

Her voice so old,
And gave me the cold.
But how could I sleep
While mum's life could creep...?

I had been crying
Weeping and weeping
Silently for her-
My mother was dying..

I crept from my bed:
No lights; poor and said-
I held her weak hands-
Cold without life's tan:

I heard her breathing-
And my heart craving
For mama's good health.
"But," I asked myself:

"Why must she suffer
Near a weeping son?"
And where was father?
He was dead and gone.

I wept as I thought.
"Return to your cot,
You need a night's sleep."
She spoke, my heart leaped.

"I shall be here until
 Death is not fulfilled-
You shall never die
Else I shall ghastly cry."

She pressed me to her heart
And gave me a gent' pat.
"Gerald, please let us sleep
And my son do not weep.

"If I die, then god called
Causing weeds to come forth-
But do pray for my soul,
To rest in haven's hold."

"But mum," I cried. "do stop."
"Son," she continued. «Death 
Is inherent to life.
Death comes 'round as we strive."

I wept as i watched her shiver
While her pale lips quivered
As she struggled out, ''Goodbye.''

I took her hands in mine
Feeling them freezing, kind:
-thus ended her earthly stay,
While i still had much to say.....




Details | I do not know? | |

A Mothers Gift of Suicide

Each drop that lay congealing.Hardened pools of hearts blood feeling.Stacked higher to a ceiling which is seemingly without end or sight of this sorrow swelling.I can't stop or staunch the sound of silence so keenly suicidal.Tapestries hung from the seething keening.See this warp and weft of weeping.Broken languidly so looming of a thread cut selfishly assuming.She took Her Life.The selfless one S
he gave to Me,when the Daughter that I am to Her,She who bore and gave to Me.The very same,exactly like in every way,each drop by drop . Lifes very blood I hold in keeping a Thrumming of My Mothers Weeping.Oh Mother Wherefore Art Thou?Dost Thou Hear Thy Childs Lament?In One Fell Strroke You Wasted Time.Every Moment That We Would Spend.The Only Thing of Worth To Me I See In Faded Things.Her Pictures are Like Memories That God Will Never Bring.As Answers Heard on Dead Deaf Ears, a Cacophony of Screams ,are all I ever Hear.Sorrowed Horrors That I Bear, Tolling Woe and Days of This Despair.My Mother Bequeathed to Me the Day She Thought To Teach Me the Only Answer That I Contemplate When I Feel That Lifes Unfair.I Think This Day I'll Take This Gift She Gave To Me When I Was Born.Born Up On My Cold Dead Hands and Show The Way She Truly Taught Me Truly How To Care. A Mothers Gift Of Suicide James Patrick Kail Tuesday November 6th 2012


Details | Free verse | |

The Bird that is Loved and Loathed

It burns and it stings.
It hurts.
More than drowning beneath 
the ice.
More than remaining in a 
kindled flame
She hits and I no longer cry.
Why mother, why? 

It burned and it stung.
The markings remained, 
returned, and were relived
Looking, loving, and little 
known loathing were the known 
ways of living.
Never was their pity for the 
child that cried
Never was their relief for the 
child that tried

You were that lovely bird that 
understood the complications of 
felicity 
Nothing looked the same in 
those dewy browns of yours.
My everbeating would cry tears 
of joy.
The others-they were yet to 
appear.
Caring Mother, o' so fair
 You were that beautiful bird 
filled with care.

The others came and were not 
alone. Their two suitors sat on 
the throne.
Rampage and rage why did you 
come?
I began to wither and wither 
slumping along. So very soon I-
the child of fines- became a 
human raceme. 
The droops of the Lily of the 
Valley became the slumping of 
my heart.
My lovely bird the enemy had 
taken you and the person you 
were is far from near.
For that divine nature left its 
intricate self and you became 
irretrievable my big bird.
All of your fairness died.
With that went my pride.
 
Mother, Mother what moved 
you so? 
Your intense spirt vanished only 
to supplement a monster. 
Mother, Monster and your tar 
filled lungs. 
How did I kill that liver that was 
so, so strong?
The lesson of pain was one you 
came to learn.
My darling bird why did you 
turn?
 
My lovely bird and your big 
brown eyes
I'll tell you once, but never 
twice.
Pain is only a flower for it 
blooms and dies
And a mistake can be killed as 
quickly as lice.
 You dear bird hurt me well. 
Though, haven't you heard?
Weakness is a souls greatest 
strength.
You brought me up, then you 
brought me down.
You haved helped, hurt, and 
hindered my blazing spirit.
A hero in my heart-I left you 
down in your deep black 
slumber. 
Escaping those terrible nights
To go for the town of delights. 


Details | Narrative | |

My Father Gone These Forty Years

My father gone these forty years,
my mother gone twenty, I remember...
the acrid smell of tobacco
on my mother’s rough fingers,
as she sat, silently,
in a predawn Texas coastal town,
my head in her lap, the short-wave
radio crackling with static.
She strained to hear the chatter of
shrimpers in the Gulf of Mexico,
yelling out to each other
in Cajun patois French,
Mexican Spanish, accented English;
she stroked my nine-year-old hair,
her middle-aged body aching,
hungry, worried, sleepless,
far from her roots, stranded
in this strange, dry,
totally foreign place.
Her imaginings of my father’s
struggles with the sea
and its weathers filled her mind,
and she knew, all the while, that
even if he were safe, earning money,
he (and she) would fail
and we would still suffer
the poverty of the hopeless
and desperate doomed
whose minor, occasional comforts
were only, onshore, the cold beers
and noisy camaraderie of the others
like him, like her,
like us.


Details | Free verse | |

Woman from Congo

I am woman … 
WOMAN
Of Congo, 
Chewed, 
Spat out,
And bestowed with straw basket
To fetch water. 
You set upon us 
Wild dogs, 
Stretching our legs wide,
Ripping out our genitals and dignity
To nurse your children’s 
Craving.

‘fore you design gods;
Ones who create dolts, 
Small-minded folks, 
And feast on minerals – 
Congo was a lady
And I … I am
WOMAN, 
Strong black woman.

I bought some views 
On black market; 
They are rare commodities,
Sat down with glass of nsamba
on the rocks
And seriously contemplate …

It is hard to buy
Black market stuff;
We are set up
To think
East is inferior to west,
Barring them Europeans
Who broke their necks
To dwell in Canaan.

One thing is for sure,
They alleged a better name
And substitute 
The ones we were given;
Those with implications.
Oh, what things we see
When we start looking
From our own eyes.

I am WOMAN …
Woman alone
And taken against my desire,
Ravished by the corporations;
The gods who create your children
I am WOMAN, 
Woman from Congo.


Details | I do not know? | |

Happy Birthday, Baby

Happy Birthday, baby,
This is the first year you would be
Alive and happy
Dwelling here with me…

I would have taken care of you,
Before your early flight
But on that fridged morn
My daytime gave way to night 

I know that you’re with Jesus now
You’re not the one grieving any more
You have it made better than I could give
On that bright heavenly shore

You have a better birthday gift
Than I could ever give
You are walking now on streets of gold
Forever you will live

Some how that does not change the fact
About how I miss you so
But still I know I love you
This, I wanted you to know

Enjoy your birthday, now my child
Give Jesus a hug for me
Walk with Him, now let me know some how
That you still are thinking of me….

So happy birthday, baby
Though you are not a baby anymore
You have the best present anyone could give
By walking on that golden shore.


Details | Free verse | |

Cold Shadows of Subconscious

Cold shadows form
Blacker bars from locked window
Fall upon the remaining light and I
Wake caged memories as animals
Metaphors arouse the senses
Silence louder grips regret
And all I can do
Is think to run
But, instead I again hold on tighter
To my waning sanity
No signs insist on warning
Moments like rocks are falling
Always continue to pile up images within
That now stirs the soup thick dark 
And begin to play out
An unspeakable act 
Every year upon this very day
I watch from balconies, stuck 
In tragedies portrayed
And now I see…
What I forgot
Mother, lying
Covered about her sins
Beneath, I’m a child crying
Guilt turning always finds its way 
Around the coo-coo clock
Of hands and helpless
To time’s army, life’s ending, ticking, plot
If, but for an instance
I could be free
Free from what
A reality without her
And her needed love
When is enough, enough!
Please, subconscious just let me go…
And I promise
I’ll keep on… going and forgetting


Details | Rhyme | |

What's Happening to Marriages Today

What’s Happening to Marriages Today?

I was listening to someone just the other day…
And I couldn’t believe what he had to say!

He had left his wife and children for another!
She was young enough to be his daughter!

Here they were, “in love” and holding hands!
Hoping to soon, get their “wedding bands!”

They were pretending that this was so “cool.”
Living now by their own “set of rules!”

How sick and disgusting this is getting to be!
Is this something that many can’t see?

God gave us Adam and Eve to become one.
To bear fruit through daughters and sons!

He gave us marriage as holy vows are made.
Not to march in an “adulterous parade!”

We are treading on very dangerous ground!
Faithfulness and commitment 
are scarcely found!

The very definition of marriage is changing!
As the family unit is always rearranging!

Our only hope is in Jesus!  And him alone!
Let’s promote his love! Into our hearts and home!

Let’s allow his love to be our heart’s glue!
And bring new meaning to the words; “I love you!”

May his love bind our hearts and lives together!
And remain faithful to each other forever!

By Jim Pemberton    


Details | I do not know? | |

Why Should We Live?

Why should we live if we have 
nothing to live for?
Why should we live if we have
nothing to die for?
Why should we live if 
no one cares?
Why should we live if you're
loved by no one?
Why should we live if no
one likes you?
Why should we live if 
no one loves you?

Each day is just a day
Each day is a day closer to death.
What's the point of living?
Some may say none,
Others may say why.
Why should we live?
Tell me and I will think about your answer.


Details | Couplet | |

The Deadly Dart

Wherever I go through out my whole life,
I end up struggling with lots of strife.
Thinking that my life is a total waste,
Wanting it to be over in a haste.

I can feel the pain inside my own heart,
Like someone through at my a deadly dart.
The wound is easing deeper and deeper,
Will the pain ever stop getting bigger?

Feeling emo is never a good thing,
Cutting your arm makes a really bad sting.
Blood is dripping from my arms and my heart,
Failing to dodge the largest deadly dart.

Drowning in all the lies and self pity,
I live each day but always feel sh*tty.
I have lots of thoughts about suicide,
But then I think about those who have died.

Those who have died not just from suicide,
But also those who are really nice guys.
...
...
...
...This "poem" was actually suppose to be a couplet (on any thing you want) for my english 
class but i made this kind bcuz i was feeling emo that day...and also after i was done i read it 
over and it almost sound like a rap song which, i guess, is kinda funny and cool.........


Details | Lyric | |

Dream

Feburary 27th 2012 i lost the most important person in my life. Helen

I was at a goodwill, when i prayed to her that i would find a metallica shirt. I was then looking through the shirts and found two metallica shirts. I got them both. i started wondering if it was her, if she answered my prayer. A few days later i had a dream. She was standing in the window yelling down at me telling me she bought me something and it was on her bed in a bag. i told her how much i missed her and i went to go see what it was. i open the bag on the bed and see the two metallica shirts i had bought at that goodwill. i now know that she answered my prayer.

Another dream i had.

I had often wondered if she considered me a grandchild.. because im not realted to her by blood. I had a dream it was at her funeral. i seen her sitting in a chair next to me. my sister and some of her grandchildren were carrying her casket to the hurse. My sister fell and dropped the casket and several of her family members were yelling at her. Helen the women who these dreams are about sat and said she loved all her grandchildren even if there not blood related.

I believe Helen answers my questions in my dreams.


Details | Quatrain | |

More Agony

My friend I want you to know
 That happy for you I am
As before the coming snow
 You will have a baby in a pram.

Your shower today was nice
 I thought I could handle it.
But my heart is not ice
 For jeaousy I feel this I admit.

I feel like a loon
 My babies gone
No lullabies to croon
 No being woke at dawn.

I thought I could handle this
 Be here for my dear friend
But there is gaping abyss
 And I do not want to offend.

This your day to shine
 And do well to not frown
And to not even let out a whine
 Though in sorrow I drown.

I leave the shower
 My wounds to lick.
In my own space cower
 Pain in my heart does stick.

I am now alone 
 I lay here and cry.
In agony I moan
 And in misery I sigh.

I really am a lousy friend.
 For how can I feel sad?
How can I make amends
 and tell you why I am bad?

No more baby showers for me
 I cannot do this
To much pain for this to be
 For me there is no bliss.

My arms do so ache
 For the babies that are mine.
How much more pain can I take?
 How much longer will I pine?

Can anyone understand
 What I truly am?
A mother in no man's land
 Whose tears have broke the dam.

A mother who misses 
 Her children each day.
I miss thier kisses,
 Their bedlam and fun way.

Why can I not heal?
 Why must agony sear
And my fate and theirs seal
 For this I do fear.

I thought I was doing good
 But as you can see
This pain gets me where I stood
 And still gets the best of me.


Details | I do not know? | |

I want to come home

When can I come home my baby ask me
When mom can I be free
Your mistakes have got you here
Just hold on for a few weeks dear
I know it hard to be away
But you will come home someday
When mommy I want to come back with you
I know son I want you to come with me too
But it is not up to me it is up to you
You have to stay here till your treatment is threw
I will be with you all the way I will write and visit as often as i can
You have to be strong be mommy's little man
God will watch out for you when I can not
But even if I am not there your not forgot
So just hold on son it will be alright
You will be home soon so I can hug you thight


 For my son who is away at a boot camp for boys right now because of his actions at school 
he is bipolar and has add sometimes it is hard to watch what our children have to go threw 
and know there is nothing you can do to help except for pray. and hope that time and love 
will help. thanks to all my friends on the soup for giving me a place to vent my feelings some 
it means alot to write and know it is heard. Thanks to all Nita


Details | Free verse | |

Suicide Note

This is the reason....
 Dear mom,
We never got along..
And you know that...
We constantly argue and disagree..
You make me feel like im a disappointment..
You made me feel as if i was never good enough.. 
You never made it seemed it like you actually cared..
 Dear Dad,
I know who you wanted me to be..
we used to not get along..
But now we do..
most of the time..
I know this is not who you want me to be..
I know this is not what you wanted me to do..
But i got no where to go..
You never seem to help..
 Dear the rest of the family
I know you are there for me..
But your reactions to what i do...
I just dont think i could deal..
I dont think you could help...
And i know you wouldnt understand..
 Dear Friends,
If i even dare call you that..
If you will care or not...
Even if you will notice...
I know some of you say your here for me..
But you dont understand..
I tried to tell one of you..
You just starred and wanted to tell everyone..
I am a human..
Im no different..
Im not some monster..
So i may be an outcast..
But does that really matter...
If only you could of helped me..
If only you didnt call me the names...
 Dear everyone,
Im sorry..
Im sorry for being a disappointment..
Im sorry for letting you down..
So that is why i have decided to leave..
So everyone will be happy..
Have a great life everyone..


Details | I do not know? | |

Unwanted

I feel like feces in a toilet
unwanted and flushed away
like a rotten egg; scorned
cracked and then thrown away
maybe even like spoiled milk
one taste and i make you sick;
then i'm thrown away
i'm like a bugger in your nose
you just got to get rid of me
like pigeon poop
you wouldn't want me to touch you
it's funny
because to me, you're
like a million bucks
i'll want you all the days of my life
but to you;
i'm just a tissue
that you use
and then,
throw
away


Details | Rhyme | |

Hold On To You

Why am I so selfish?
Why do I live for the wrong things?
I am dying inside
Because I refuse to see the light.
I need to say yes,
But I still haven't learned that yet.
I am a fool,
And I am hurting you.
If I would let go of myself,
I would hold on to you.


Details | I do not know? | |

REST IN PEACE MUM ANN BROWN 18 AUG 2011

MUM ...

WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM 


FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE 


GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND 

REGRET  FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO  SO ****ING MUCH ,

 THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING  A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST 

BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD 

YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE 

WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO 

LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE 

YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER , 

IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR 

PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME , 

FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR 

BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED 

YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.

THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,

NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.

IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,

I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,

ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,

ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.

GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,

THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,

TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.

ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,

ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,

HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,

AND LEAD THE WAY,

FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....

I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, 
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH  ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I  NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me


Details | Free verse | |

Meanies (written by 9 year old)

Meanies
People who are always mean to me
And bullying me around
In the stupid world
People who are mean to me
Should get something back in return
Something mean and evil
And they deserve to die
In this evil world
And the only people I can trust
Are my Mommy and Daddy


Details | Free verse | |

Letting Go

I wrote this about the recent passing of my mother, Annette.  She was a rock, kind and
loving, my confidant and best friend - a Godly woman.  I miss her already, deeply.  

She died on January 24th, 2009 at 10:30 p.m. due to complications of a UTI that went
septic through her system, and a blood clot that formed in her foot.  She suffered and
painfully fought for three weeks... she was facing multiple amputations of all her limbs
and multiple organ failure.  She was only 61. 

My heart was imprinted greatly with her love and I am thankful for her.  She made me so
much of who I am today.



Letting Go
     by Amy Swanson 


Letting go
    of things that I
          once held dear, believed in

My soul
    stripped bare
             in agony, for all the world to see

Heart beats
     yet
          it feels so cold inside

Silence
      sits like stone
           in my spirit.

Life has led us
       on this 
             journey...
                  but one lonely road 
                         sought us out with furious speed;


A road that was not wanted or desired.


How can you
    be so accepting?

How can you
    not be angry, as I am?

How can you
     ... still believe?

...and how will I
      ever again believe...?


I feel as though life took a wrong turn...
    or someone didn't write the script correctly...
         it wasn't supposed to be this way.



I weep
    great sobbing tears
           that threaten to rip out my very essence


The pain so sharp
      like knives of ice

The judgment harsh
       unfair and undeserved

Sternly.... 
     mercilessly...
              delivered.

They say that there is peace in death
     but there was none
             only cruel suffering
                  that should not have been allowed;
                         torment inflicted
                             poor bruised body
                                    until
                                       so still you lay...

                                               life was no more.


I ask, "What meaning can there be?"

    I strain to hear the answer
                but there is no response...

                         only unwavering silence.


A part of me will never be the same.



Existence I now view with different eyes.


Details | I do not know? | |

Young mother why

Young mother with pain in your eyes
why do you cry 
and so she replied 
because they lie
Young mother with tears rolling down your face
why do they lie and make your name a disgrace
She said I dont know but I have nothing to hide
Young mother with truth in your heart
why would they do this to you
and she did not reply
Young mother why do you not reply
and so she says 
Because I dont understand how anyone could be so corrupt
I did none of the things  that they said 
and now I must suffer
and I must feel dead
Young mother ill be your friend


Details | Rhyme | |

The Phantom Couple

Fog is thick on this summer's night
My only companion the lighthouse light

Your empty absence I can no longer take
Alone in this world I will surely break

The beckoning ocean promises you again
Only step closer and freely give in

Confusion replaces the pain of my tears
A shadowed phantom from the mist appears

With a blink and a shake it is suddenly gone
Hope guides me to the place it stood upon

No remnants remain but two pairs in the sand
Disappearing into the mist hand-in-hand  

I cover my face and fall to my knees
Never alone, forever they watch over me


Details | Rhyme | |

SO YOUNG TO WANT TO DIE

You run to the door, as a car pulls into the drive;
You're excited, you're curious;
You're almost alive.

You stand on the porch and wave with a smile;
As your mom gets out and pushes her way by.

Excitement dampered, yet still hopeful inside;
Arguing ensues and your hope starts to rise;

Maybe she cares, maybe this time...

Angry, as she turns ands walks away;
Right past you, without ever saying goodbye.

Shuddering as you watch,
Tears welling in your eyes;
You're only six,
yet you've learned not to cry.

Just turn away, go inside;
You're not what she wanted,
so young to want to die.

To alway's feel, balled up inside...

A feeling of courage, as you slowly wipe away,
what water remains, in your little blue eyes.
As if you're strong enough, to somehow survive.
Only six,
So young to want to die...


Details | Free verse | |

A Mother's Choice

Broken homes and broken bones
Dads are gone and moms on drugs
At the age of nine I'm forced to chase my mother in and out of abandon homes.
Never felt more pain until the day my mom offered me to some strange man.
What was done plays back in my head everyday.
Never thought my mother would love drugs more than me.
At that point in my life I knew everything was wrong, and my childhood gone.
I tried to quickly runaway until i hear a deep voice say, "DON'T TAKE ANOTHER STEP".
Very abusive, he grabs my hands and throws me on the floor.
My mother sat there as it happened. 
This strange man constantly raped me as I screamed and tried to get away.
My mother sat there and had nothing to say.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Tough Life (really happened to me)

At a very young age
we don't know what's going on
we all cry for our mother's voice
and we sleep to her lullaby

What a very strange thing
to wake up to another man's fight
What a scary thing
to be alone from mother tonight

You were never there when i screamed your name
mom don't you feel the shame
grandma raised me up
but i wanted you to come

Waiting at the skating rink
you told my teacher you'd be here for me
but i've been waiting thirty minutes
and my classmates are all staring

Now dad is calling and your fighting for us
Brother is crying
and it's ripping us apart
i hate that this world 
how could it be so cruel
as to make me and brother to go through that

What a difference it makes
to not have your mother
to cry at night smothered by your pillow
and to raise your own brother




I Forgive You Mom.......


Details | I do not know? | |

BECAUSE OF YOU

BECAUSE OF YOU



Just when i thought things would get brought to the light. 
you hide their hands and pretend its all alright. 
My thoughts and memories are not a pa-sad. 
Hell, Its that part where you lie that makes it so hard. 
I remember that December some 8-10 years ago. 
You slammed my own mother across the living room floor. 
All of the brass so pretty on display. 
Ended up all over the floor in such a dis array. 
My brother and I ran in to see what was wrong. 
You all didn't pay us no attention and continued to carry on. 
My mama looked bad tears ran down her face. 
You then turn to us and your anger you displaced. 
I screamed stop and my little brother did too, so immediately i was angered and it was all towards you. 
You grabbed her again and a trophy was near by. 
i aimed for your head until you saw me out the corners of your eye. 
I hit you cross the back when you had her on the ground. 
You reached back and pushed me into the door and it made this big boom sound. 
You got up and screamed that i should just get out. 
I ran to the room and began pulling my things out. 
My mother said don't leave but i had taken all i could take. 
No matter whether a push, slap, or fussing it all was more than a mistake. 
I left that night with a feeling of great grief. 
I said my goodbyes and made it all just that brief. 
You may still deny it or think i should forget 
But you can never make my memories go away if you cant even admit the shit. 
My life is not perfect and never did i claim it to be. 
But those horrible moments changed a big part of me. 
My husband beat me too, and normal i thought it was. 
I just took what example i had and assumed it to be love. 
Now i have freed my mind and my soul. 
But i will always remember until that day i get old. 
You wonder why i never discussed it with you or brought the subject up. 
You would never discuss the truth and would really want me to shut up. 
So to this i stay away as far as i can be 
You will never understand what really inside of me. 
I am slowly getting over the hurt but the truth will always be. 
Call me when you really ready to discuss all this *****honestly.


Details | Narrative | |

Our Little Girl

The light I see
In your eyes
only when I speak of her.
Our little one.
She would have had your eyes,
your nose.
she would have had my hair 
and my my mouth.
Our little girl would have been perfect.
But that horrible day in July,
I cried and I hated myself.
That horrific day in July when I lost her.
My world broke down.
Now when I speak of her. 
Your eyes water up, 
as do mine.
But one day we'll see her. 
I promise.
Our little girl, 
is waiting for us.
I promise.
And one day,
she'll finally say daddy.
Our little girl.


Details | Couplet | |

waiting

My hands too tired to write, motionless they fall
Mind and soul lethargic and dull, I watch the show

Life spinning-me sitting-watching the leaves tremble
in rays of light hidden from my window

I rest, wait for my soul to heal
wonder at my raising breath and listen
for sounds of joy to inspire my heart to beat

the pitter patter of his slippered feet,
my babies joy to dry this weep.


Details | Free verse | |

Losing Myself

I cry myself awake
In the middle of the day
Because of a decision I made
Not to spend time with you.
And now everything I am
Is falling apart into pieces;
I feel like I am losing you
Because I am losing myself.


Details | Lyric | |

Halloween's Song

Its your Halloween rave, having your mascaraed
With all your best friends from back in the day
Liz Lauren and Blake and while they're dressed like skanks
I'm on the front line of battle
Howlin like jackle with A real nasty cackle
puttin a razor blade in the sack of Blake's apples
crack in Lauren's snapple
Staddle Liz like mclovin
But I am more like faghole As I babble at her ass
Axe her fast and mash her up like cattle
Sneak back and tackle your dad and put him in shackles
Shove sour patch kids Down your trap and gaggle
Its abominable, so unbelievable
But its inevitable, the end is kissable
I have rattled these kids psyches 
squirming like a centipede, cutting them like celery 
hear their squeamish screams echo in the streets
as the  creepy bells of the chapel ring


I remain a mystery
You'll need nancy drew, and at least 3 of the hardee boys to find what I'm up to
Theres this gloom that looms down in your basement room
Consuming shrooms, enhaling fumes to escape your doom
Witches zoomin by on their brooms makin sonic booms
Quick call scooby doo, but I killed him too
You heard a loud pound cause I cut the fuse so you
Run away to a motel room, assuming your safe
And As you look the other way,
I got my fangs in your veins and stranglin your neck
Too bad you didn't text your friends to tell them who is next
Hmm let me think for a sec. As Hex your boy  rex 
with an incessant twitch, till he is dead in a ditch
Hang him from bunny man bridge
Yo dude turn the lights on
But there's no flip to switch , I have flipped the script
Its bewitched with no miss to kiss
Exorcist with no priest to dismiss the spirit

So the town clock strikes half past 3
There's one last gas before i must sleep
Or i will crash fast if the light touches me
Put on the mask jack, just like the sixth scream 
I need to grasp havoc, till i hear shrills and shrieks
Please back rabbit, these chills aint for teens
As I stick a cherry bomb in your moms exhaust pipe
Run up on you  with nine a knife, and the head of your wife
Its useless I'm the nuisance that's abusive yet conducive
To your fear that I am near So close I could whisper in your ear
Smell the shampoo in your hair Wipe the floor with your tears
And as you look up in the mirror
I'm there ready to smear your blood all over the chair
as I stab you with my spear I crush a coors beer then
Leave you re crops there dead, red spread on the floor
But I hear a knock on the door
Are you okay honey? "Yes mommy,  just got a cold sore"


Details | Rhyme | |

What's Done In Secret Will Come Out In the Open

What’s Done In Secret… Will Come Out In The Open! I’ve read God’s word, and it’s clearly spoken… What’s done in secret… Will come out in the open! I’ve been guilty of this, too many times! I never thought of it, to really be a “crime?” “Nobody’s watching” was the thought pondered… As my mind began to “explore and wander.” It didn’t take long for my life to go “off course.” By a powerful wind of temptation’s force! No matter how many times I took time to pray… This “secret” held on, and wouldn’t go away! I went to church on Sunday and prayed and cried. This “secret” remained, no matter how hard I tried! God told me, I was to give up what surrounded me! This was hard to do, but God was there to help me! Many things I thought I needed, to give me pleasure… Didn’t fulfill the love that God gave! An eternal treasure! As each day passes on… I want to humbly confess… I’m giving my life to God! He’ll take care of the rest! May the Lord Jesus stir a deep passion within… May it be my desire to be more like HIM! God is the God of yesterday, today and tomorrow! I’ve no secrets with him! No more shame or sorrow! Jesus is the Lord of lords! And the King of kings! He’s my lord and savior! My everything! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Narrative | |

tales about them

each time when some stories
are told I cringe
and swallow a lump of bitterness
and will my tear duct to stay intact
because I will never break 
in the presence of anyone
I'd rather shut my eyelids 
and start counting backwards 
from 10
She loves me, I know that
but tough love can only stretch
this far and sometimes
when u least want
your heart will melt
its walls will wilt releasing
molten warmth that will wash over
your tear stains and feed the demons
in your stomach
Love knows not only fear
but weakness, charisma and a wicked
sense of humor
and strength that will envelope
you further down the rabbit hole
that may possibly swallow 
and spit you to a shore
where the sand is shiny and glassy
it cuts your heels until you bleed
and come to a stop
where death will find you
or you could just hand over 
your life to Satan 
just to not feel anymore pain
for a second, to silence
the screaming voices in your head
that tells you hell isn't quite 
done burning you
and to quiet down the cries
of your tongue as it dries and 
stick to your throat until you suffocate
this life isn't yours to take
or trade or give away
its for you to give, to know and 
not even understand because if you did
then you would never feel pain
and you will always smile
even when the storms rips you off
of all you have
so right now this is me reaching out
hold on to my hand and be granted
one more good reason to stay
a bit of warmth and a glance of love
one day we will both stand before God
and recite this story


Details | Free verse | |

For Nate 'The Great'

Singing
With tears 
In your eyes
As you stared at me
With the most caring gaze.

Your childhood
Sung in sweet lyrics,
They lingered in my ears
As my throat began to tighten
With sadness.

What's that, dear?
Your parents beat you?
Never a word spoken 
To anyone?

It made you a better man?
No dear,
It caused horrid memories.

Your father 
Brought you to a bar
And let his friends beat you 
With bottles?

My dear
Sweet Nate,
Keep singing.

Your mother 
Was addicted to drugs
And violence?

What ever happened
To her?
She's buried six feet under?

What about your father?
Prison
With the other abusive men?

Scars
Dug deep 
In your skin
Jump to my sight
As I quietly whimper
With your soft voice.


Details | Free verse | |

My Dark Feelings

This feeling, I hate it.
How it claws at me,
Like caged beasts in my chest.
Roaring to life at random,
Spontanious moments.
Feels like my heart is 
hardening, 
Turning to stone.
I cannot control these 
emotional outbursts!
These rabid truculent internal 
fits,
How they seem to come fast,
Then agonizing me as it fades.
With these thoughts I am a 
hapless soul,
How the words eat me alive,
Slowly drain me of my stability.
How they manifest in my brain 
is of human instinct,
A bare, raw, animalistic 
instinct.
I want, crave for my flesh and 
blood,
But i cannot have what I want,
For society wouldn't accept it.


Details | I do not know? | |

Would You Rather

Sometimes I ask myself..
Is it me?
Or is it you?
Could it possibly be us?
How can I fix it..
 
I lie in bed and wonder..
Am I really the worst thing to ever happen to you?
Or maybe I’m the biggest mistake to ever enter your life..
 
Typical teen?
I really doubt it..
 
But there’s always these questions:
 
Would you rather I bring home Fs..
Suspension notices from school…
Maybe even expelled letters or something..
 
Would you rather me stay out past curfew,
Or wait, maybe never even come back home..
 
Would you rather me need a ride home from a party,
One that just got shot up?
 
Would you rather me continue asking for rides
Home from school..
 
Would you rather me bring home an extra mouth to feed,
Knowing I, myself, can’t provide for he/she?
 
Would you rather me find happiness in the streets,
Or continue to find it in my books?
 
Would you rather me continue spending time
In my room alone,
Or would you rather me go out,
Steal,
Smoke,
Drink n’ Drive,
& spend my time in a cell with ppl I barely even know..
 
Would you rather look at me and smile,
Thinkin “It Coulda been Worst”..
Or look at me & frown saying
“Where did I go wrong?”
 
Would you rather me ask you first,
Or sneak around?
 
Would you rather me,
Steal your money,
Or ask for it,
Knowing I’m not the only one you’re providing
For ..
But only to be confronted with the answer of NO,
& becoming engaged with rage…
Ohh wait! Or would you rather me,
Sit back,  & not ask at all..
Because I already kno what the outcome will be…
 
Would you rather me dawg you behind your back..
Or keep it all held in..
Cry from day to day and not even know why..
 
Sometimes I wonder… Am I really that bad ?
And Did I really become the biggest mistake you made?


Details | Rhyme | |

Divorce Isn't Always the Best Choice

Divorce Isn’t Always A Good Choice! I met a person who’s been married for many years. When he talked to me, he was in tears! He was faced with the option of divorce! And now, he feels his life is driven “off course.” His wife said she’s through. She’s “all done.” And doing things which seemed “fun.” Beyond each day and the circumstance… Does this marriage even “have a chance?” Why do people seem happier when they’re apart? Far too often, this ends up in a broken heart! Too often, people “give up” on what they believe! But it’s so many lies, is what they receive! I spoke to this person, of God’s purpose and meaning! Into God’s loving arms, is where he needs to be leaning! When life changes, and marriage seems to have failed you… Jesus is here! And wants to put his arms around you! There’s hope and answers to all of your problems! You’ll find the answer in God’s word! HE can solve them! The best choice for you is to come and trust HIM! Give Jesus your life! Come now and love HIM! All he needs is for you to give him an invitation! He’ll change you! And make you a new creation! His love can do what no other power can ever do! He’ll bring new meaning in the words; “I LOVE YOU!” By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Poem for Gigi

Her death has caused us all to pause and think
My husbands heart has begun to sink
into the depths of despair
pausing to catch some air
never regaining total control
his mother’s death has taken a toll.

Eyes so blue, they’d light up the day
in everything she had her way, 
Seven children she carried in all
before her death two were to fall.

Her life at times was very bleak, 
but never could one call her weak,  
she stood for what she believed in, 
whether in goodness or a sin.

Daughter, Wife, and Mother to all
although she is gone she is not lost to all
Her spirit resides deep within, 
her friends, kids, and grandchildren.

A woman I was glad to know, 
for me her presence will always show
in the strength of my daughter as she grows, 
strength she gained from a woman, she hardly knows.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Absorbing

I saw you today On this day I feel new No longer blue, or sad or any of those emotions I sometimes have There was some forgiveness, in your voice Those words danced on the lobes of my ears I was quiet too the moment absorbing Then the tears You said, I believe you


Details | Bio | |

My angel

You were bright and beautiful from the moment i found out i was carring you. A beautiful angel in disguide. Not only were you my child, but a part of me my own flesh and blood, my angel sent from above. Even tho i never met you, you were mine and i loved you. I could only imagen what you would look like, and all i knew you were perfect in everyway. Then your destiney came and your fate was sealed. I couldnt stop it, I couldnt make it go away, you were taken from me and my heart stopped. I loved you from the begining and I'll love you till the day i draw my last breath, your my angel from above taken from me to soon.


Details | Narrative | |

Faked

I stumble upon a river
the way it flows and feels
I take my shoes off and run threw it
laughing looking up towards the sun
I wake up and it was all just a dream
my sister runs up the stairs
she slams her door
i asked her what was wrong
she looked at me 
She says "mom told me you were adopted"
at first i laughed as i thought it was a joke
I run downstairs to see my mom and dad sitting on the couch
"mom?" i say
she replies "its true we adopted you!" 
she got up and walked into the kitchen
"after all this time i thought i was yours" i say
My father gets up and walks out the door
My mom lays her hand on her forhead
Just dont worry about it  everything will be okay
"No it wont i say"
i felt fake like i wasnt who i was suppose to be
i just sat on my bed thinking about the whole thing
my whole life and who i should have been
I packed my bags that light and i ran away
leaving the less important things behind
i set out on a journey to find my real parents
I had my sister get there info. from my dads office
I took a bus to indiana and looked up there address
As soon as i found it i knocked on the door
A man opened the door
he said "who are you?"
i say "apparently i am your son?!"
"you put me up for adoption?" i repeat

He yells "ANNA!?, Some kid is here for you!"
i repeat the story to her as she denied it
She looked bruised and beaten up
I wanted to help her but the man hut the door on my face

I had no where to go now
So i started on a journey back home
But i never made it there 
I found that old river i use to go too
i stayed there for a few weeks until
i remembered the way back.
I found myself that day
I realized that i was fake but now im not because i know that i am just me not any of them





Details | I do not know? | |

My Hero.

Mood Swings.
That's what you're made of.
Mood swings and lies.
That's the only thing you're good for.

You keep playing your game.
By the end of this quarter you'll lose your fame.

Funny thing is,
You used to be my hero.
Now when I think of you,
You're just a zero.

Ruin your life,
You're ruining mine too.
I hope that's enough to satisfy you.
Because I know you're not aware of just you've put me through.

Took away my youth.
I've been forced to grow up too fast.
I don't know where I'll end up.

But I hope you've satisfied yourself,
You have let down everyone else.
To say the least;
I've got too much emotion built up for one shelf.

You think you're going crazy,
Well you have made me insane.
You've become a monster,
All I'm sure of is your name.

You've lost too much,
And there's too much left to gain.
You could never rekindle what you have broken.
The seal has been lost,
And our hearts are aching.

At least you're happy,
That's what I keep telling myself.
But are you truly happy?
That's my major doubt.

Take a look at what you've done, mother.
So unrecognizable,
Even to yourself.
Becoming the one person you told me all about.
"Don't ever become a liar, a thief, a cheater."
But take a look at your life,
That's all you have become.

A dreadful person,
To even yourself.
Take a look at the person you've aspired to be,
Is it worth it mom?
Losing me?

For someone who will chew you up,
And spit you out?
Tell me who is worth more to care about.

Resentful of my own blood,
I never thought I'd feel so betrayed,
So truly heartbroken.

The things I've been through,
I'll never forget.
I'll never stop pointing my finger,
For all that you did.

Choose a worthless man,
With no ambitions or hope,
Over the children you birthed,
Such an unnatural behavior.
Especially, from the woman I once loved.

Can I say the same still,
About you now?
Well I've told you how I feel,
Now I'll tell you how I've dealt.

I've dealt with this betrayal,
This pure abandonment,
Hanging on to pure hope that you are still an amazing woman.

From a heart that once was pure,
To turn to what you've made it,
I'm not sure I can truly believe it.

Tell me what you're good for,
Other than deceit,
My list seems to be running so short,
Compared to what it used to be.

I don't know why you changed,
That's clearly beyond me.
I just miss the person,
You used to be.


Details | Elegy | |

Bloodless On Mother's Day

There is a glare of stray sunlight
daring to reverberate
through spiderwebbed glass I haven't
found energy to fix
in the span of four years.
It is too much of a mirror,
too tangible a thought,
to make new.
It's lithe fingers, thin and bony, 
and mockingly bright,
steal over embossed cardstock that arrives, like clockwork,
in deepest sympathy.
And a thornless bouquet of pastels laden with
Babies Breath
only draws on blood long lost;
nobody seems to comprehend such an allegory,
or lack there of,
so it can't be carried
over the steps.




"Bloodless On Mother's Day"
Jenna-Nichole Conrad
Wordsmith


Details | I do not know? | |

You THINK?

You think you might be in love.

You think he/her might be in love with you.

You think about a lot of things. Do you really know those things?

You think a lot, you worry a lot. 

But do you really HAVE to think or worry about those things?
  Or do you WAN'T to think or worry about those things?

Now that there is something to think about.

 
   

              *please leave a comment if you like it or fav poem if you might*
                                           
                                         -Angel4eva23


Details | Free verse | |

My mama sits ALoNE

My mama sits alone, whilst all i do is roam.
As the smoke loses its fire & 
the last conversation we shared turns to ash,
she willfully breathes new life into the next 
perfect crime against her body.

Nothing is what it seems in the realm of
never-ending dreams..
Who will play her part today i wonder,
as the next leading lady takes her position
in the light.

mama you think you are a prisoner
in the blasphemy of a million tortured
non-believers.. & that i am free???

Free to roam, whilst my mama sits alone?

My shackles are heavy & steal, 
pink ribbons of blood upon them.. they
never leave the company of my resilient heal.
Barefooted & with constant grace, I drag along 
my own personal jail cell of hell.. as i give good 
face.

Still, alone I roam as you sit at home..

Go on mama, LET the voices of a zillion reasons
happily appease you, as i jump in
the black, scary sea, i could sink to the bottom 
& take you all down with me.. at least the pain
would be drowned & the happiness never found..

But.. you still will be mama, sitting alone..
whilst i freely roam.. right?

I need you to swim to me in these dark & murky
waters. The cruelest of cruel seas..
Please, bring me a life jacket & leave the fictional
coast guards behind where they belong.. 

& mama, just swim like you did, so strong 
when i was a little girl on your back, remember?
So strong, i felt the fight in your limbs, as you 
took each crucial breath when you needed 
oxygen to push on through, you never ever ever
gave up until you reached the other end. 

All the while, with me on your back, you showed 
me how to NOT be alone.. you showed there was
never a reason to roam.. direction & purpose with 
each stroke, in the pool of life you were, you are..
my only true centre..

& now, as you, mama, sit ALONE, with your smoke, 
in your home.. Sadly, i'm afraid that all i can do, 
is aimlessly ROAM.


S.L.D


Details | Lyric | |

Kurt

i am kurt daniel everdean 
I am 21 years old
I've been playing the bass guitar
Since I was 11
i weight 145 pounds
i have blondish brown hair
and blue eyes

If I could say one thing about me that I like... Its that I never gave up.


things started when i lost my father
i was 10 years old
my mother started going to her room everytime she got home
she would come out with her eyes all red... Shes been crying
until i accidently walked in on her doing drugs
i now believe it was the drugs that caused the redness
me and my brother would fight everynight
when i bought my first bass
he slammed it against the floor
and told me since i think my lifes crap
then i shouldnt have anything that makes me happy
My mom became a street whore
She would dress in a golden gown and wear ugly make up
We would never see her 
unless she needed money to get condoms for her "men"

the things between me and my brother got worse
I was arguing with him over a text he sent my mom
And he got into an accident and died that night

Things just never got better
I created a band called the nocturnal
And the reason you haven't heard of us yet
Is because were an underground punk band in Seattle
we haven't gotten far yet
Just underground party's and bars

My mom ended up running away with her "boyfriend"
After my brother died she blamed me
And told me to leave and said she won't come around me
Until I brought him back

Since then I've gotten a job and was able to pay rent on
My moms old apartment
Hoping shed come back clean and sober
As for me
I've cleaned up. but suicide is still an option

I haven't found god yet and I don't want to
If there was a god why did he give me this ****ed up life
Ya you'll say Kurt?... You made the desicions for your life
I knolw I did. But he was the one who let it actually happen

I've been writing since I was 11
Lyrics and poems
Drawings and paintings
bass guitar and vocals

My life isn't over
But it's sure close to it

Its sad to think that what you thought was fake... Is a true story


Details | Haiku | |

Monument

Forgotten but here
Remembered yet never there
Why do you exist?


Details | Light Poetry | |

Innocent

He was stop at the traffic light
They had him surround
And they put a hand cuff
And he wonders what’s wrong

And said that he is wanted
For what he don’t have a clue
It has to be a mistake
This cant be true

They put him in a line up
Then come in the room and say
The others can leave
But he has to stay

So why she accuse him of this crime
When He never seen her before
The jury says that he’s guilty
And sentence him to 25 years or more

He broke down in court 
His mother screams and cried
And today 15 years after
 his mother has died

Then one night while watching TV
He sees there is a new technology
Call DNA testing that can prove
If some one are innocent or guilty

He got a new trial
And his conviction was over turn
15 years of his life was taken
That can never be return 

She said she was sorry
But he just walks away
Knowing there’re many innocents
Still in jails today

Yes some times things happens
Why we can never know
And we have to keep believing
Or our minds will surely go

He sits on his gallery alone
As the rain starts falling down
Today he is a free man
Tomorrow a new life began 

You'll never know what its means
To have your life taken from you
Confined to a world behind four walls
For crime you didn't do

This poem I write today
Is for the innocents in jails
 Keep hope brothers and sisters
The truth will prevails


Details | Chastushka | |

Here Without You

Here without you 
Paints me a realization that life isn't easy
It displaces the settling railroad
Taken away by the midnight train's calamity 

Waiting impatiently 
to face some inspiration given by God
Over the driver and I 

By the way you shrivel up in anger, 
I'm not ready to cross through the trampled street
Trampling over the infected cycle...unprepared to face reality's misfortune 
Swimming in its ungrateful punishment

Settling in my sorrow state...shaping my way away from ignorant fate
You lie in scrumptious desires, supposedly independent in your heart-seeking choices
To burn the aches and rashes for all the times you fooled us...took us for granite 
What do you have left to diminish?
To accomplish?

Here without you is like refusing an outspoken crowd, applauding in satisfaction
Ruining the family's reputation...flustering the gas station 
Jaded by your defiant outbursts

Holding up my clutched fists in shame
Holding back tears that reck a moment's peace

This betrayal...not deserving a name

You were passing near us, snickering and cursing our form...our completive family
You wish for scrumptious desires...shaping your heart in frightening lies that strike the innocence of your presence

All the years seem to leave us behind
Settling in the resistible past 
Passing our unachieved, future goals
Poverty splattering us in shapeless love 

Rummaging mad as a furious bear in danger of unyielding snares 

Are we on time to reach the morning train?
And start our life in a new cycle 
This family barely has anything to gain 
You aren't even offering us any advice...same be for you,
Pleasure-seeking mother

Here without you is competitive, but affordable and fair
We aren't crushed against your passionate glares

Here without you is an unhappy environment 
Too caught up in unbearable suffocation and useless bafflement 

Here without you 
Paints me a realization that life isn't easy
It displaces the settling railroad
Taken away by the midnight train's calamity 

Come home... face your fears and embarrassment 
Get away from the monstrous zoo, snatching away impressing love 
Help repair this tear between the whole family with our handyman
Giving it time to grow stable and secure

This family barely has anything to gain 
You aren't even offering us any advice...same be for you,
Pleasure-seeking mother

Good riddance


Details | Rhyme | |

One august morning

One August morning, waiting for those birthday presents, Then with no warning, down stairs came my parents, And with them came a special surprise, Our family was ending , due to lies. Divorce was the word of choice, Pain in my fathers voice , Too young to understand, Why this was being planned, Ever since this damn event, My family has grown more distant. Soon after mom was gone, My eldest sis embarked upon, A journey of her own. My other sis went with mom, All alone with dad .com, Stayed with him a couple of years, Soon followed the steps of my family peers, I feel bad for leaving, Left my father , alone and grieving, Why should I be the one to stay, When it comes down to it, were all grey, One day maybe we, Can once again be family.


Details | Rhyme | |

nothing but more questions

She walked off into peripheral, feral and alone
a lonely individual, trudging on the stone
out into the element, not welcome back home
beautiful, intelligent, yet worn to the bone
routine was reality, cause real wasn't known
she told me,  feeling this , felt as a drone
fear and shaky ground, surely made her prone
falling unsupported, the state still condoned
this way or that, no attention could be loaned
prevention proving problematic
 past parodies partly shone
privacy trumps compassion, it happens she's grown
so my effort to recover info, unfruitful, lay sown
 nothing but more questions, and my sad little poem
 nothing but more questions, and my sad little poem


Details | I do not know? | |

Forever Somewhere

Watch me as I shoot across the midnight sky
Looking almost as beautiful as I am fast
I do my best to try not to die
But we both know that I cannot last

Flames and faith blazing as I go
Because I know that just up around the bend
Is forever somewhere that I do not know
Is forever somewhere near my sweetest friend
Is forever somewhere where I still love you so
and forever somewhere near my bitter end..


Details | I do not know? | |

Another Year On

So many things that go around,
Yet in this crowd there is no sound,
The world seams dead and void inside,
And I can’t seem to run and hide.

I hear her screaming out for help,
She gives a final wounded yelp,
She hits the floor and eyes turn black,
Now she knows she can’t turn back.

Those left behind hide up and die,
No one ever wants to cry,
The tears of blood cause too much pain,
Our poisoned hearts are not the same.

As your body dissolves to ash,
The whole world changes in a flash,
No more happiness for us to share,
No more mother to love and care.



Details | ABC | |

Perfect

Please tell me why 
Everyone thinks perfection is
Reality
Forget that
Enter real reality where girls 
Cry tears of pain
Tears of shame 

Persevere to be perfect 
Except there's no such thing 
Remember real reality
Fight that painful sting
Enticing failures 
Can lead to true despair
Try and just be yourself 
         Cause perfection is unreal 
          

Perfect

Please tell me why 
Everyone thinks perfection is
Reality
Forget that
Enter real reality where girls 
Cry tears of pain
Tears of shame 

Persevere to be perfect 
Except there's no such thing 
Remember real reality
Fight that painful sting
Enticing failures 
Can lead to true despair
Try and just be yourself 
         Cause perfection is unreal


Details | Free verse | |

Noise, A Shadow Poem

Slowly... Slowly Mother...
Come peacefully to me... Cries...
Please stop mother... Don't make me Mother...
I don't want to hurt you... My eyes, racing...
No more racing mother... Don't do this to me...
Ill die... No more... No more... Please...
I'm hurting... Shes not here... No one is...
I'm alone... Please... No more pain...
Don't be so hollow... Shes gone... No more mother...
This is the nullification of existence... Crying again...
Please stop! Your killing me... Smothered... Sweat...
Its dark... No room... Yes... Four walls... God...
Sounds... From where? No where... Slashes...
Screams... My god why?! Someone is coming...
It yells at me... STOP... 1... 2... no 3... Cutt...
See my blood? Still dark... Slowly creaking...
Pain... Love... Torture... Mummification...
Terrible... Tear me... Rip me... Kill me...
Feel me... Touch me... Leave me... Here...
Alone... One more? I'm going to snap...
Thunder rains... No one here mother...
No one left for me... Not even fear...
Sorry mother... No father here to help...
Just us... Four walls... And me... One more...
Rape... No escape... Leave me here... No...
Leave me not...
Sorry mother...
I've failed...


Details | Rhyme | |

An Adulterous Situation

An Adulterous Situation I knew of a couple, involved in an adulterous situation. A person involved, claimed that he was a Christian! He told others that he wanted to tell her about the Lord… But this involvement in sin, he couldn’t well “afford!” A “casual” encounter led to the marriage’s destruction. Her husband was so hurt, he could hardly “function.” How could this man think there’s “nothing wrong with it.” “It must be fine.” He thought. “everyone’s doing it!” Jesus has come, that we might have freedom from within! Going to church, doesn’t give us a “license to sin!” God gave us marriage, as a holy and divine covenant! He gave us his word, so that our lives can be abundant! May this be a stern warning to one and all! That which may look attractive, will cause us to fall! If there’s something more from marriage that you desire… Be careful! Your deep passions will burn like a fire! May I encourage you to pray and seek the Lord above! And ask him to build your marriage on his love! Only he can restore everything the enemy has taken! He’ll be with you, when you may feel totally forsaken! Adultery is like a cancer cell… That will eventually destroy! It’ll rob you of the many blessings, that God wants you to enjoy! What God has joined as one... May there be no separation! But a heart of unselfishness, and a renewed dedication! By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

MY SEED IS CRACKED

where are the things? he knew so young.
the taughts i gave and memories saved.
he always knew that i was strong. 
and was the one right on his side.
no time to stray ,no time for games.
his mind was changed , oh what a turn. 
he's totally gone his head is cracked.
why did he live me in the dark.
things he did i never knew. 
"so i taught".but one day to crack he flew.
i stood by him threw thick and thin. 
not knowing what he had within.
"a hit i need" his only phrase. 
almost to the top ! my mind he blew.
what do i do my seed is cracked.
where did they go the things i placed. 
the morals,the values, and all was said.
as time passed by , his life stood still.
all these years he has been cracked.

Bernadine Isaac 



Details | Blank verse | |

Apparition

Apparition

October night, northerly wind throws hard rain on windows, 
the old house groans in agony under this autumnal offensive.  
Mother is reading, my sister too has her nose in a magazine, 
I sit by the table doing homework. We have no TV, but after  
years of waiting a phone has been installed, a black fiend on 
the side table. I had taken a dislike to this intrusive ogre, but
 mother thought it the height of gracious middle class living,
 needless to say, my sister too thought it wonderful. 
Familiar steps in the hall, waited for the kitchen door to open, 
it didn’t, mother went to investigate; hesitantly she opened 
the door, no one there.  I wrote something on a scrap of paper, 
or rather the pen did. The phone began ringing it rang and rang 
for a long time, none of us got up to answer it. It rang again, 
mother had to answer it.  She stood there saying nothing as lost 
in thoughts, I could hear the steady hum of a line that waited to 
be dialed. Finally she put the phone down and said; 
“Your Brother is dead”. She sat down and began reading again 
but her eyes were stuck on the same page in the book. I looked at 
my scrap of paper on it was written: “Your brother is dead”.  


Details | Light Poetry | |

Believe

Mothers say their daughters are beautiful.
Are they supposed to?
Is it an unspoken rule?
But, of course,
not all mothers do that,
some say it as it is,
Straight to your face,
''You're fat and overweight,"
and they don't care,
but your feelings are hurt.
They say, "youre ugly,"
bold but its true,
because they do say that,
Some try to get rid of the blemishes,
some try to fix the teeth,
but some just ignore their children.
It is a shame,
how things are changing.
Maybe that's why there's so much suicide,
Girls care too much,
about other people's remarks.
They need to know who to listen to.
And not take all insults to heart.
People may insult you,
but its because they're jealous,
they try to break your self esteem.
But girls these days need to listen to their own heart.
Believe in themselves and their ability,
abaelieve and pray to God,
Because in God anything is possible.
                  xxx


Details | Free verse | |

Runt of the pack

Facing backwards on my bed
staring at the wall in fascination
how did my boredom come to this?
I try my goal but I miss.
I have no right to cry
others are far worse off than me
but the tears fall anyway
I'm astonished and dont know what to say.
They all keep reminding me
of how the world owes me nothing
of how everything's not about me
and how, who have I come to be?

It frustrates me that you think your so much better
you choose sides (scratch that) one side that is...but it's never mine
to me you always decline
and all i feel is your ambivalence.
You have absolutely no right
to even pick a small bickering fight
I saw you do things that left a scar on my mind
but you waved it off like it was nothing
because "it's all about you" right?
what you think, how you feel... you you you
you always come first.
unconditional love is what you lack.

Making me feel like the runt of the pack...


Details | Blank verse | |

Mother's Day is Here

it is Mothers’ Day
and all they wanted is a flower 
for their mother but guards
will not accept flowers in the facility

maybe a card with a word or two may do
to tell her how much they love her

there’s nothing much to add
except to say they miss her

she has been away for decades now
birthdays weddings have come and gone
many births and deaths came and left
without a word from her

and they too have grown up
without her a deadness around their lives

maybe a card with a word or two
can tell her how they wished
she were at the window peeping
to see them sleeping nicely



Details | Rhyme | |

Was I wrong?

Sitting by the sea , leaning on his shoulders, 
Or walking along side him,clasping his fingers,
Listening to sweet nothings from him in my ears,
See him shaken when I am in  tears...

Happy when together, restless when away,
Wait the entire night to see him the next day,
Read his love messages and attend to his calls,
Blush when he calls me his sweet lovely doll...

Be true and honest to him when he needs,
Support and guide him in his deeds,
Lend a supporting hand to him always,
Admire and celebrate his success in every way...

If this is love,then someone tell me now,
Why did we breakup somehow?
No fights, no quarrels, no tensions,
No anger or hatred ,then how did this happen?

All I did was to help his ailing mother,
Force him to help her recover,
She lied and cheated and separated us,
Her tests reveled,her sickness was bogus.

Against me his mind she poisoned,
Took him away from my vision,
I cried, I wept,I tried to explain,
I tried and tried but all in vain.

Did he really love me the way I did
Then how come farewell to me, he bid?

Now I ask myself,I truly love him and all I did was help..
Where was I wrong?Is it wrong to help?


Details | Rhyme | |

Many Families Are In Difficult Situations

I’ve seen many families in difficult situations!
Often ending up in lies and false accusations!

I’ve seen many families stray way off course…
And tragically, often, end up in a divorce!

I’ve seen the hardships that many families endure.
Their faith has often been shaken. 
 That’s for sure!

I’ve seen many families trying to give 100 percent.
And then wondering where all of their time went!

I’ve seen all these things happening
 and much more!
I have wondered; “what is all of this happening for?”

I’ve just one thing to say in this “chaotic confusion.”
Only the blood of Jesus gives
 any hope or solution!

It’s only in his word, we’ll find a godly direction!
His Holy Spirit can give true and loving correction!

May we seek his spirit to bind us all together!
And pray for his blood for our protection forever!

Please come Lord Jesus, and refresh our soul!
We need you right now, to make us whole!

Please touch our heart, and make us all one!
And heal every father, mother, daughter and son!

Please help us to watch what we’ll do and say!
You can turn our darkest night
 into the brightest day!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

Mommy's Prayer and Lullaby

Mommy's little princess
is almost all grown up.
A danzel in distress, 
or just the average slut?
She traded in her bouncy curls
for a sharp silver knife.
She's picking fights with other girls
and wants to end her life. 
Under all the make up, 
and behind the painted smile...
She knows that when she looks up
she can feel her for a while.
The Mommy she once knew, 
the mother she'll always keep...
is somewhere watching over her
as she goes in too deep.
Praying a mother's prayer, 
and humming a lullaby.

Mommy's little super hero
has grown over two feet.
He traded in his sword and shield
for a few bags of weed.
He knows he has to be a man, 
but still, he wonders why.
So complicated and unfair, 
this concept of goodbye.
Under the layers of black clothes, 
behind the dilated eyes, 
is a secret to behold, 
even super heros cry.
But he knows that when he looks up
he can feel her for a while.
The Mommy he once knew, 
the mother he'll always keep.
is somewhere watching over him
as he goes in too deep.
Praying a mother's prayer, 
and humming a lullaby,

Mommy's little baby
is now in middle school.
And now she takes it upon herself
to create her own rules.
He sister is not her mom, 
and her brother is not her dad, 
but at the end of the day
they're all she's ever dad.
Under all the questions
about things she's never known, 
Every night she wonders
why her family had to go.
But she knows that when she looks up
she can feel her for a while.
The Mommy she once knew, 
the Mother she'll always keep
is somewhere watching over her
as she gets in too deep.
Praying a mother's prayer, 
and humming a lullaby.


Details | I do not know? | |

When my world collapsed

I stand in front of your grave
You were so bold and brave
Death unexpected so full of life

Undeserving fate
My timing to late
That last night I saw you we had a fight

Guilt ridden struck me these past 4 years
I still occasionally leak tears
It's still surreal to not have you here with me and my sister

If there is a heavan please look down on us we need you
Were not doing great
I'm angry and full of hate

From losing you the prettiest mother 
My distant father
And my other baby sister

Lost forever burried six feet under
Free are suffering soul
Fill this expanding hole

To my lost family rest in peace I will forever love you


Details | Free verse | |

Hate

A stinging pain falls upon my face making my vision turn red. 
I look up into your eyes and see nothing but the rage and hate in your souls windows,
How could someone be so angry?
How can you go day to day knowing what you do?
I was kind, I was good.
But you made me like this.

Hit,
	After Hit,
			After Hit,

Put me deeper,
		And deeper, 
				And deeper,

Into the dark where there was only a spark of hope left 
But that even started fading as you continued to throw you anger at me.
Was I the one who made you like this?
Me your ’one and only’
How could someone be so angry?
How can you go day to day knowing what you do?
I was brave, I was slipping.

Fading,
		And fading,
				And fading,

Into a deep,
		   Deep,
				Deep,

Darkness that made me lose my mind
You made me like this.
I can finally throw my anger at you.
How does it feel now mother?
You cry and ask me to stop, but did you ever listen?
Me your ‘one and only’
How could I be so angry?
How can I go day to day knowing what I do?

Very,
		Very,
				Very,

Simple.

I can go day to day knowing that I made myself free,
Of all the hate you would throw at me.
Can you handle mine?


Details | ABC | |

No Title

just want to start off by saying, we all know the dangers of drugs and alcohol, there is this one substance though, just one that you have to be 18 or older to buy. I am talking about “The Cancer Stick” better known as cigarettes. Most of the older people in my family and others also smoke cigarettes like its nothing at all, I never realized it caused cancer until older years, but when I found out it was too late, many of my family members developed lung cancer including my close grandmother. That woman would smoke a pack of cigarettes in the snap of a finger, but the thing is she has been doing it for over 20years I would assume. The day I found out she was dying of the disease I was not surprised, but yet she is my grandmother so I felt great sorrow. When she passed it shook my soul, but we know we must move on. The thing that boggles my mind is that the government regulates these substances knowing the dangers, and what do you get a large number of statistics on the deaths of those related to legal drugs, ex: alcohol, prescription drugs, cigarettes etc. But if it makes profit distribute it right? The death of my grandmother along with the death of my great aunt both due to that cancer stick, has changed my mindset drastically on the way things are set up in our system, I wish I was able to talk to my grandmother and aunt one last time, one last time to tell them to put that killer down and resist that mentality, but I couldn’t, why? Because they are addicts, it would take strong support, but see we didn’t have good family support. So unfortunately helping my grandmother mentally was a fail.


Details | Free verse | |

Parents Are Hipacrites

These parent try to tell their kids that they are imuture, but parents dont look at it this way, When a 17(Girl) and a 19(Boy) year old couple take their love to the next level by having a baby and getting married, the parnet thinks they can still control the 17 year old girl, But she doesnt understand how they can tell her what is right and what is wrong, When they make gambleing their top pioratiy. At Least the 17 year old girl and the 19 year old boy doesnt put gambling as their top prioratiy or even think about it. They try to tell her and him what to do with their money and then they have enough balls to ask if they can have money from them and they always say NO because they no where it will go and the parents get mad.... So who is the muture one here in this sitution??? Comment with any advise


Details | Free verse | |

HEAVENLY MOTHER...

one day you
were there
the next you
are in heaven
God must have
seen you struggling
but now you
live with God
and Jesus
in heaven

when it rains
i think of you
in heaven
crying cause it
is sad you cant
be here

i love you mom
your the best
no one can
replace you, never


Details | Free verse | |

Not Welcome

The words 
Break your heart
and your ego
falls apart
Tears sting 
your eyes
Then a part 
of you dies


Details | Rhyme | |

Why Did I Give In To Temptation

Giving In To Temptation...

I remember of a particular situation.
I was offered a very "inviting" temptation.

The situation I was in... I didn't belong!
And lost any sense of 
"right and wrong."

At first... I felt no guilt or shame.
And brought embarrassmen
 to my family's name.

I tried to explain this to
 my wife and kids.
I heard; "Dad... please... 
  no more fibs!"

The Godly principles were 
"tossed to the side,"
As the sin inside caused 
arrogance and pride.

Soon, all in my life that truly mattered.
Was all gone... and my life 
was empty and shattered!

I was sorry for all of the 
problems I had caused/
This time... I took a moment to pause/

I cried to God to rescue me from my sin.
And confessed.  Would God help me once again?

I read in the Bible of our
 saviour's grace and love/
This time the help I needed had 
to come from above/

I asked him for a fresh and brand new start.
He removed the stain from a broken heart.

He restored to me the joy I once had.
I'm so thankful... Jesus has made me glad!

YOU--Jesus--are the reason I'm here today!
I LOVE YOU! More than words can say!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

I Hate

I hate the birth mark under my right eye
I hate my extremely static hair
I hate my big bottom lip
I hate my spotty nose

I hate that I have really *****y times
I hate that people only remember me for my really *****y times
I hate that the real *****es hate me
I hate being cautious so they don’t ***** about me

I hate that I cry over everything
I hate that people know I cry over everything
I hate that I hide from them anyway
I hate that they actually don’t care 

I hate the fact that my brother is leaving home next year
I hate the fact that I cried when he told me that
I hate the fact that I hid my tears from him
I hate the fact that he’s all I really have left

I hate my father for making me feel like he doesn’t care about me
I hate my mother for making me feel like she picked him over me
I hate that my brother had to look after me when they couldn’t be bothered
I hate that, in my eyes, they don’t deserve to be called mum and dad

I hate that when I was younger I had to run away from my father
I hate that my mother and brother left me by myself that day
I hate that they left me closer to my father
I hate that they went somewhere I would have felt safer

I hate that I feel like my friends are slowly fading away from me
I hate that I feel like I’m a third wheel
I hate that I feel like my friend’s don’t trust me
I hate that I feel like I can’t trust my friends

I hate the feeling of loneliness
I hate that I read books to escape to a world better than mine
I hate that I write to create a better life than my own
I hate that people want to invade that one heaven I invented

I hate that people ask me why I made Katy Clover Taylor
I hate that I had to make a role model for myself
I hate that she is the person I desperately want to be
I hate that she is the one thing I will never live up to

I hate that I feel like my grades would grasp my families attention
I hate that feeling of disappointment when I get a bad grade
I hate feeling like I have to live up to an expectation to hold their attention
I hate that I am relied on because of my grades

I hate that I am an older mind trapped in a younger body
I hate that I am limited in what I can do because of my age
I hate not being trusted upon
I hate people treating me as a kid

I hate not telling people how I feel
I hate hiding behind an invisible barrier
I hate not being able to share how I feel with people
I hate being scared that they won’t care.

I hate people judging me
I hate judging people
I hate that feeling of giving up
I hate the feeling of losing when I didn’t give up

I hate the choices I have made
I hate that nobody thinks I can live up to my dream
I hate people thinking they are so much better than me
I hate the fact that they are right

I hate that I will never make a good girlfriend
I hate the fact I know nobody would fall for me
I hate knowing that no one would help me pick up my life
I hate that it has fallen apart

I hate hurting the people I love
I hate them not loving me anymore
I hate knowing that what I would do would hurt people
I hate the fact I do it anyway

I hate knowing that I do all of this
I hate knowing I hate all of this
I hate trying to change it
I hate that I am not able to change it

I hate that I try not to give up hope
I hate knowing all hope is lost
I hate that I still try and cling to it anyway
I hate knowing I failed at that too

But most of all

I hate not being able to express this until now
I hate that this still won’t change a thing
I hate thinking that it still might
I hate knowing that no one cares


Details | Heroic Couplets | |

Day I Dread

I know my life is moving slowly ahead
But there is a day coming that I dread.
It is the day I came to this earth.
It is the day to of my own birth.

For that was always the day
My children would display
Their handmade gifts of
Their devotion and love.

But my babies are now 5 years gone
And am trying not to be withdrawn.
But as this day draws near
I valiantly fight my tears.

But it is to no avail
As they lead their trail
Down my puffy face
As if they are in a race.

I am really really trying
Hard to keep from crying
As my heart is torn apart
But from me resolve departs.

The tears flow and flow
As my hurt does grow.
No one will remember me
As no one ever does you see.

God please forgive me
Lord please hear my plea.
Take care of my kids please
I am begging on my knees.

Never make this pain abate
As I know this was my fate.
Make sure they are in good care
And this soul wrenching pain I shall bare.


Details | Rhyme | |

What Kind Of Life Have You Been Spending


You know that another year is ending. What kind of lifestyle have you been spending? Does it just seem like "you're walking on a cloud." "Everything's going good." You're very proud! You have a family, three cars, and much wealth. Not counting all of your friends... Plus good health. Have you thought about who made all of this possible? Jesus! You may find this to be "improbable." The Bible says that every good gift is from God on high. His word is true Don't listen to a lie! It's surely not just because of you that you have all of this. To go along in life, rather "happy and bliss." The next time you're heading out your front door. Think about the meaning of life. And what you're here for! Lay your treasures up in heaven... and you shall find. A godly contentment. True joy. And a peace of mind. The blessings of God... In you... He wants to pour. Give what you have to him... And then you'll have MORE! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

LET ME SLEEP

I sleep so can I dream

to find me in a world I can be

to play with my dad while

My mom waits for me

with several cups of tea

Distant relations I not even know

Childhood friends forgotten long ago

tug along and raise a lot of cheer

I find myself cocooned

in the midst of near and dear

God wakes me to the reality of hell

O’ No! I want to sleep for ever

and stay in my happy dreams

As I stand near the grave

I shoo away the birds around

My dad is dreaming deep inside

Leave me at peace, let me sleep


Details | Free verse | |

Missing Piece

I love you and your never going to realize that
You will never realize how much this hurts
Or how much I miss talking to you
You will never realize that I feel like a piece of me is gone.
You won’t care that I want my mother
And you won’t care that through everything
No matter what
I will always love you
It doesn’t matter how I feel about you
Because you will never feel that way about me.
And even through time
I can honestly say
That pain will still be there
I will never get over it
And I will always hurt
And time won’t make it better
I will always cry and wish you were here
But it won’t matter
I will never be good enough 
Or do the right thing in your eyes
I wish I could live up to your expectations
But I fear I never will 
And I want you to know
As long as your gone
A piece of me has died and I’m empty inside
Where you held that place
I know it won’t matter
But all the same I want you to know.


Details | Verse | |

Melancholy Memory

Deep within my soul Melancholy feelings Grip my heart~touching all Inner parts Longing to be held To feel a mother's love Being swaddled, caressed No one there Security gone Safety ripped away Alone to face the world Weeping weeps Weepings unanswered Farther, brothers don't hear Grandmother's efforts small Weeping weeps Melancholy blues Sadness seems to rule days A child crys within now Mother's gone
Sponsor: Constance La France Contest: Melancholy Memory Written this 13th day of May, 2013 My mother died when I was 15 month's old..Deep within my being I still feel the loss..


Details | Rhyme | |

God Gave Us Our Sexuality


God Gave Us Our Sexuality… God gave us our sexuality and told us how to use it. But many have ignored him, and have “abused it.” Through his word, he’s given us his “set of rules.” So many have refused it, and have become “fools.” The fool has purposed in his heart God does not exist. Yet his beautiful handiwork is all around their midst. Many have chosen to turn his truth into a lie. And often, they burn in lust till the day they die. Many have offered their bodies for ungodly things. Not caring the consequences this really brings! Many are involved with perversion of various kinds. Having a warped sense of morality in very confused minds So many aren’t happy with the way they're created. Their own sexual identity is often debated. You were wonderfully designed and beautifully made. Please don’t end up as sin’s “sexual slave!” God made you special… And has a perfect will! Your every need… His love can fulfill! Don’t settle for what may be “your innocence lost” Think about the work Christ did on the cross! God can help you to resist the man “sexual temptations.” And can bring to your life his peace and true satisfaction. You don’t have to live like you did before! God can restore your life and do so much MORE1 By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Happy Holidays Or Merry Christmas

What if Christmas wasn't here? What if Christmas disappeared? Whenever December came... It just wouldn’t be the same! What if the baby Jesus was never born in a manger? The true meaning of Christmas would be in danger! If this happened... There would be no nativity. We wouldn’t have Christ' peace and tranquility! It’s almost like this now! It’s an “ever increasing business.” It seems like nearly everyone wants “Christ out of Christmas!” Why does it seem like Christmas is losing it’s true meaning? The very words; “Merry Christmas,” seem to be quickly disappearing! Many say; “Happy Holiday.” For fear they may “offend.” Having a “holiday” without Christ…. Once again! We need to put Jesus Christ back into our CHRISTmas season! He is what Christmas is about! HE is the very reason! May we all take some time to rejoice in our savior’s birth. May there be shouts of JOY! From the corners of the earth! Let’s not take Christ out of our joyous celebration! We need him so much right now! All over this great nation! May we bring to him a heart of love for everything he’s done. As we bring honor to Christ. God’s precious son! May we continually offer to him a heart filled with praise! Not only at Christmas time… But all of our days! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

DEAR MOTHER

Dear Mother, can you hear me?,
Dear Mother, can you see?
This disgraceful, embarrassment,
 that you have ill concieved...

This troubled soul inside me,
  that lyes within my heart;
Has now become more burdened,
  than at first it was to start...

 Dear Mother, can you hear me?
   Dear Mother, why me?
Crucial moments, in life's vicious path.
  more than one marriage,
  with no hope to last..

      Common opposition,
opinions made to thee;
  Would it have been immoral,
     had you just diposed of me...

  Dear Mother, can you hear me/
      Dear Mother,  Please!!
Dear Mother, can you help me?
       Dear Mother,
                Why me???


Details | List | |

Go Away Baby

One night long ago
I felt as though
You were nothing to me
everybody tried to make me see
I went to a clinic
Where they took you away
Gone forever
You didn't have a chance to pray
I didn't know you
You were to young
You could have lived
You could have clung
You had two feet
And ten tiny toes
You could see 
Until the harsh blows
You're dead now
I chose the wrong way
I made a mistake 
And you had to pay!


Details | Rhyme | |

It's Hard To See The One You Love Go Through Pain


It's Hard To See Someone Go Through' Pain... "It's hard to see someone I love go through so much pain." Were the words I heard that night I called on Jesus' name. "This person whom I love, has gone through so much." "How I wish to bring my peace and healing touch." I cried and wept, as I heard the master's voice. His gift of love is for all of us... It's our choice! His body was broken... A sacrifice was made. His life for our sorrow and pain, is what he gave. His grace is more than sufficient for the pain we endure. His love and commitment to you, is true and secure. He loves you so much. He waits at your heart's door. He gives peace and comfort. And so much more! The pain and suffering you're going through today. Please listen to the words Christ has to say. "I am El-Shadaii." "Jehovah-Jireh." "Your very best friend." "My love and devotion to you will never, never end." By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Baby Girl Of Mine

I wrote this to help someone special to me:

I lost my daughter today.
Sadness threatens to overwhelm me.
Grief consumes my every thought.
 
Pain fills my entire body.
The words send a shock to my heart.
My legs fail me as I fall to the floor
Knowing it was to come,
Realizing it is in God’s will,
Nothing makes it easier to deal with.
 
My heart crumbles under the weight
I know all the pieces will never be found.
A wound created that will never heal.
A constant reminder of what is gone.
 
Desire to become a forever family.
Hope of taking away too much pain.
Dreams of her eyes filling with child like joy.
Plans of everyday growing up and learning
All cause to mourn, all things I won't get to again see.
 
I long for the comfort others might have,
Joy her in the arms of someone who truely loves her,
Peace in knowing she is being properly cared for.
The knowledge that we will be together again.
 
I lost my daughter today.
There are no kisses to brighten my soul.
No grave to visit and seek refuge at.
The rest of the world will never notice,
For the daughter I lost was never really mine.
 
She is alive somewhere else 
Not by my choice but by theirs
For it is not I that gets to kiss her good night
I lost my daughter today at yet it is like the world does not care
Really she was more mine than theirs... 
 
I lost my daughter today...
I lost my daughter today...
Don't worry baby girl we will be together ....
someday..!


Details | Rhyme | |

Marriage Is Under Attack Like Never Before

Marriage Is Under Attack Like Never Before! Marriage is under attack… And it’s because… So many people have trampled “God’s set of laws…” What once was ordained as “God’s order of unity…” Has often resulted in so much “infidelity…” The God given covenant between a woman and a man… Is so distorted… How can one truly understand? All the way from Genesis to Revelation… God made it clear from the time of creation… It was Adam and Eve from the very start… As Eve was formed from a rib… Close to Adam’s heart. They were joined together by their God above… Being a symbol of his creation and never-ending love This same God is the redeemer of your very soul… It’s only in him that you can be complete and whole! You are invited to join the marriage supper of the lamb… Christ is the bridegroom and is waiting for your hand! Won’t you accept God’s proposal he offers to you? He’s given the invitation… What will you do? He’s coming for a bride who’s sins are washed away! Won’t you accept his proposal of love… Today? He remains faithful… And forever true! And has already said the words; “I DO!” By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

I've Heard Of A lot Of People

I’ve Heard Of A lot Of People…

I’ve heard of a lot of people who claim to serve God above.
I heard that many of them proclaim a message of his love!

I’ve heard of a lot of people who claim to know him too…
Would one of these people be someone like YOU?

I’ve heard of a lot of people who’ve made it known.
They are making plans to soon
 be in their heavenly home!

I’ve heard of a lot of people who are joyful.  You can tell!
They’re in love with Jesus.  And are doing quite well!

I’ve heard of a lot of people who’ve 
made a wise choice!
They read the word of God and seek their savior’s voice!

I know of a lot of people who have 
made a firm decision…
They’ve given to God their hearts 
and undivided attention!

I know of a lot of people who were stumbling along the way.
Until they met the master…  Who changed their life one day!

I know of a lot of people that will soon be all together…
When the Lord comes back soon and 
takes them with him forever!

I know of a lot of people and I hope you’re one of them…
Who have accepted Christ.  
And are now born again!

I know there’s lot of angels in heaven 
waiting for you and me!
Won’t you join with these people to spend your eternity???

By Jim Pemberton     05/17/12


Details | I do not know? | |

Safe and Sound

Im tired, Im done
Dont treat me like Im one.
Im sick, Im through
Dont tell me what to do.

You think you know
but really you dont.
What's it like to be all alone?
Thats right you wouldn't know.

I've shed the tears and felt the pain,
because you made him go away.
I loved him more than you comprehend,
Why can't you just understand?

I'll go away and wont come back,
in that place I wont be sad. 
I'll be in his arms where I'm ok,
I'll love him true, Forever & Always.


Details | Rhyme | |

God's Definition of Marriage


God designed marriage as the real thing!
Anything less, is what a counterfeit brings!

His concept of one man and woman is very real.
He’s not interested in bowing to “man’s appeal.”

His court of justice rings very loud and clear!
The truth of his word shall NEVER disappear!

You can look in Genesis and it is found!
He created Adam from the dust of the ground!

He designed Eve from one of his ribs!
They were joined together as  both lived!

He didn’t need a constitution to know “their rights.”
He gave them HIS WORD as their guiding light!

Satan has been trying to pervert what God created!
This is a truth.  And need not be debated!

We have cheapened the value of the marriage institution!
And have added needless 
chaos and confusion!

Through the Bible, one husband and wife are taught!
Unless you want to live in Sodom, as did Lot!

Ungodly perversions take many forms and kinds.
And it soon piles up garbage into our minds!

“What God has put together.” 
 “Let no man put asunder.!”
Many ideas of “marriage,” is a total blunder!

One man and one woman is what God ordained in Eden.
It was Adam and Eve.  
Not Adam and Steven!

The choices in life are yours!  And yours alone!
Who is going to be the Lord, of your heart and home?

By Jim Pemberton  


Details | Couplet | |

love starved

If love is a hunger.Then my heart is 
empty.The pains run deeper then 
the pacific ocean floor.So many 
lovers my heart feels like a revolving 
door.I ask my mother to feed me 
cause i    hunger for her love .She 
gave me the left over scraps from 
my sisters and brother.barely 
enough to stop the pain.I ask my 
father to feed me and he only feeds 
my mother ,and when he 
remembers that I have no love he 
says hes fresh out.I asked my 
husband to  feed me .But he cant 
even make food.He gives me a 
dinner mint of lust .It disappears as 
soon  as it touches my 
lips.Countless lovers taking from an 
already starved heart. The inner 
parts of my heart consumed by the 
love given but never received.My 
heart is just and empty hollow lining 
.So empty the hunger pains can 
never be felt again.


Details | Free verse | |

Mom

I miss you
i never enjoyed your rules
i did enjoy your home cooked meals
you always seemed so old and out of date
i never talked to you unless i was forced to
i hated your nagging 
but i was a young teenager
now i am grown and your gone
i have a big big empty space
who will i get to listen to me
who will i talk to
no one ever loved me or cared for me like you
i wish you were hear i miss you so much.


Details | Bio | |

My baby My angel

A beautiful soul inside and out, taken before your time. Never getting to see the life that was ment to be. You were apart of me, my own flesh and blood. There is no greater love than the love we shared. A bond between a mother and her child, an unbreakable bond till the end of time. I would do anything to protect you, from any and all harm, but you fate was sealed from the time you were conceived. My angel, my saving grace, the apple of my eye. I only had you for a short time but i loved you so muc, but now your gone. You will alway's have my heart till the end of time.


Details | Senryu | |

Long Summer Days Soon

She had a baby
today.  She's only sixteen.
Long summer days soon.


Details | Free verse | |

I Made It This Way

As time passes
So do all the new things you learn
	Unable to watch you grow
Hurts more than  I can handle
Pain so deep
Hidden within
	Fighting its way to the surface
Wanting to explode
My heart  never  as whole
	As it did the day I held you in my arms
Looking back at me
Your innocent eyes
So precious ~ So pure
	Perfect little baby
My perfect baby boy
How can you forgive me
Letting you go
	My son
Never know how much mommy loves you
	Replays in my mind over and over again
Why you’re gone
Reality of it all
Mommy let you go
  Gave up on what I was born to do…
	Have
Love and protect you 
All the wonderful things mommy was supposed to do
HATE ME
Kills me inside
	Leaves me numb
Realize ~ I didn’t choose you
When all you needed was me
		FAILED
I failed at what God blessed me with
  Baby boy
		Sorry
I miss you everyday
Want to lie down
	Just die
Cold
     Dark
           Alone inside
I made it this way
My baby
	Not you….


Details | I do not know? | |

Not good enough?

What am I, not good enough,
doing all this terrible stuff.
You put me down to much, I always ask why,
It's like I hit the floor, and then I cry.
So should I pick myself up again,
trying to erase all of these sins.
You always push me away,
but what if I want it my way.



DONT READ NOT FINISHED


Details | I do not know? | |

A Note To Mummy...

This is a note to mummy. 
To say, ‘thank you so very much’.
I will miss your sweet kindness,
And your soft, warm touch.

As you lie there in your bed, 
Smile as you read this,
Goodbyes are very hard, 
But cherish my one last kiss.

You were my everything, 
And, yes, you still are,
And when you are in heaven,
Hear my voice from afar. 

Thank you for all you’ve done for me,
For loving me so well,
No one, not anyone 
Can break our little spell. 

Our spell is cast on hope,
Trust and perfect love,
And when you see the lord,
May he greet you with his dove.

Oh, mummy, please don’t go.
Don’t let cancer take you, 
But if you really, really must,
I’ll say my final goodbye.

Daddy sends his love, 
Well, he would if he only knew,
But I was afraid to tell him, mum. 
After what he did to you…

So, as you lie there in your bed,
And as you slowly die,
In my prayers, you will always be,
For I am sure to cry…


Details | Rhyme | |

Watching

I watched

I watched when I was younger, a woman lose her life

To a man, to a rock, to a knot, and never become a wife.

I watched when I was seven the most beautiful woman alive

She was oh so amazing, with big brown eyes

And two dimples at the corner of her smile

Before and now, she has walked a thousand.

I watched a woman began to hate

Herself and her life and begin to question her fate.

I watched a woman meet her prince

Only to be abused, and used at her own expense

And introduced to the “rock” of her life

That later brought on never ending strife.

I watched a little boy tie his shoestrings in a knot

 A woman reach up, to cup, and feel a knot

A daughter fight back the knot in her chest

 For her mom has lost her right, and now left breast

A son that was buried underneath the sun

Only to think of the “rock” because, this is where it begun.


Details | Bio | |

my sister

My sister is one of a kind and I know shes always by my side I know we fight.

and sometime dont get along my sister and I are like a song.

The bond between us will never break she's my best friend 
.
and it will never change I love my sister


Details | Epic | |

Drugs Make Me Happy

Remember when getting high was climbing up the tree, and we could see the sky and feel 
as if I could let go and fly and never open my eyes having that feeling that I would never 
die. Getting high, on dads shoulders, seeing the trees and buzzing bees, the place for 
where I could see everything and be happy. Getting high meant flying on the swings, 
through the air, having the wind blow through our hair. Being high was pretending to fly 
like a plane, through a cold winters day with pouring rain on that saturday. Grandma use 
to pick us up and raise us high like The smoke rising from her sweet baked pies. Being 
high was to go snort cocaine everyday. It made me feel strong for no one could prove me 
wrong, I stayed on it so long that I didn’t know right from wrong. I was confused and 
started to be abused but always refused to just give up and loose. Ecstasy Made me high 
and I started to act so alive party and rave all the time, being so blind to all the hearts I 
pushed aside left to rot and die, But I didn't care because I was to stubborn to accept the 
truth that was right in front of my eyes. Speed made me high that I started feel pleasure 
and had no guilt inside even though I started to live A lie and always tried to deny the 
things I hid deep down inside. It made me commit crimes and runaway from all the times 
I made my mother cry, and I would cry because I no longer knew how to survive because 
I forgot the meaning to Try. Remember when getting high was climbing up the tree, and 
we could see the sky and feel as if I could let go and fly and never open my eyes having 
that feeling that I would never die? I finally climbed that tree and let go And felt the wind 
blow, I began to fly and feel so naturally high. But I woke up and realised that I am no 
longer alive, I overdosed and became so alive that i ended up committing suicide. They 
say when you die, you see your whole life flash before your eyes. All I saw was the way 
my mother cried cursing at all the times I lied, and watching my friends turn their backs 
when my only friend started to be crack. It became A sickness for it was my addiction, 
thee only way to rid of it was to die and leave all my sadness behind. But I am happy now 
that I am in heaven finally belong side, my family and friends that I pushed aside all those 
times whilst I listened to the demon inside my heart and my mind, Because Drugs Make 
Me Happy.
 
- Wiko Te Maru


Details | I do not know? | |

Musical Notes That Soothe The Soul

You come home with a grim expression
Ignoring the screaming and fighting
Another trashed night of insults and threats from your parents
Blams flying left and right but the only thing you can think about is getting to your santuary
Placing the headphones on, blocking the noises of broken glass and collapsing bodies
You hit play quickly and soon your day has suddenly become more bareable
You relax finally and lay yourself down on your floor
Holding yourself in the fetal position, hugging your knees tightly
You close your eyelids and take a deep breath
No more fighting
No more sadness
Only happiness and joy fill your mind
The beats and different tones coarse through your ears not screams and insults
You tap your index fingure on your knee to the beat of the music
Humming and singing to the lyrics
You begin to imagine your own little world where you can escape to
You smile widely as you see your parents looking at you and grinning back
They invite you into their arms for a warm embrace
You take it all in, making sure not to miss a single moment
You cry tears of happiness and bliss
You look up to them and you say: "I Love you"
But when your world suddenly began to fade away 
and reality came into view
You brace yourself for the blow to your stomach
Crashing to the ground, you hold youself and cover your face
Your mother shouting and pleading your father to stop
Your hair being pulled, slamming you against the wall
Grabbing your arms tightly he squeezes as hard as he could, hearing the crunch
Your blood curdling scream doesn't phase him a bit
Your mother tries to help you but he slams her into the corner of the wall
You slump to your floor again, laying there as you have a clear view of what is happening
Suddenly a knife comes raining down, you hold out your arm
Your mother now is suffering pain so severe 
He comes up to you and roughly kicks your face
He leaves as you hear tires screaching and slowly the sound fades away
Now the only thing you hear is your so called 'little world' behind you
As your vision suddenly turns black


Details | Rhyme | |

This Habit's Got A Hold Of Me I Can't Break It

This habit has a hold of me. ..
 I can’t seem to break it!
I’m so discouraged  …  I can’t “shake it!”

I don’t know what to do, or where to turn…
When I tell others about it. 
 They’re not concerned…

What am I going to do in a situation like this?
It seems like my life is just one huge mess!

The “satisfaction” I seek… I haven’t obtained.
I’ve only myself…  And no one else to blame…

Many discouraging thoughts 
have entered my head.
Each night I cry out loud before going to bed…

I can’t think or do anything like I once did.
I don’t know how much longer
 I ‘m going to live.

Can you help me Jesus?  I know that you can.
There’s no one else who’ll listen
 or understand…

I’m going to get on my knees and begin to pray…
And ask for God’s help.  I’ll do it TODAY!

I trust his power to break this habit of mine…
This is the hour!  This is the time!

I need true freedom.  And a love that will last.
Everything I’ve tried…  Disappears fast!

To you Lord Jesus I give my life that’s broken.
“Please come into my heart…”
  Are the words spoken.

“Help me Lord to have victory within…”
“And thank you Lord for being my friend!”

By Jim Pemberton  
 02/05/11


Details | Bio | |

The Cry

Why do tears caress your soft face so frequently? 
Why is it that when you cry and let out a large scream, 
Which resonates from deep in your heart do you feel relief? 
Why can you not find the arms of a mother or a lover who can give you the same relief as that scream?  Where you born to wonder alone? 
A lone being that has given all 
Only to find that you have given a little too much and are now left bare. 
No-one had requested that you commit to such a feat; 
No-one had expected you to give it all
How can you not blame yourself when you find that you have nothing left? 
When you find that all has been given and no-one is willing to share?

The cry is God given 
When a child cries their protector responds and tries to put right. 
The cry is not to be left unattended. 
When you become of age however your protectors’ take on different forms, 
A mother becomes a lover 
And your tears are now for yourself. 
Where are your protectors? 
You frantically search for them but only find mocking… 
You are of age now and your cries will be left unattended.


Details | Free verse | |

They Fight,,, 10-13-08

they fight all the time.
they fight and it never stops.
they fight and it never gets better.
they fight and it always gets worse.
they fight til they're blue in the face.
they fight til i can't stand it anymore.
they fight and i cry cuz there's nothing i can do.
the fighting and the crying never stop.
there's nothing i can do but pray.
they're always fighting.
it won't stop.
they hide it so well...
the pain they're in...
it's like they've never fought before...


Details | Rhyme | |

Are We Being Driven to God's Elimination


Are We Being Driven to God’s Elimination? In the names of diversity and anti-discrimination. It’s like we’re being driven to God’s elimination! God is being “forced” from many institutions! All in the name of this country’s constitution! We’re told that God and this country must be “separated.” Anything less is what many would call; “discriminated.” Any forms of Godly virtues or values are “torn down.” Any symbol of a cross, is often “removed from the town.” It’s no wonder that this country’s in such a big mess! And yet this country wants to be strong and blessed? “What shall the righteous do if the foundations are destroyed?” Meanwhile, the tide of ungodliness, is often “enjoyed.” Those who are trying to remove God! You must beware! His judgment is soon coming! And will catch you unaware! There’s will come a day! When God’s wrath you will endure! The wages of sin is death! This is very true and sure! People may think that removing God is the “thing to do.” Anyone who attempts to do will wind up as “a fool.” Only God can fill the void in life and true love within! Only he has the power to free your soul from sin! The words; “in God we trust,” in our lives must be applied! Everything we’ll ever need… God has supplied! God is this country’s hope! It’s only true foundation! We need HIM right now! To come and heal our nation! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Bio | |

Our little boys

Look at our three little boys all grown up. You'd be so proud of the men they are today. They think of you often and what'd you say to them today. I wish you could have been here to see them grow into the men they are today. Their no longer the little boys who use to need us to need us to make their bumps and bruices go away. Their now the strong men that have their own family's. You gave me three angels from above but, you were taken from us to soon. I know your always watching after them from above. Even tho their all grown up they'll always be our three little boys.


Details | I do not know? | |

a mother no more

i once had a mother 
and a sister 
and a brother

her head was twisted
she wished for death
and barely missed it
 
she hated her life
 all she wanted was  true love 
and to become a wife

she tried soo hard  to end it 
but her spirit failed to split
   ************

they sent me away
i can still remember
grandma coming and helping 
me pack that day

As i alone walked to the car
i looked back
not understanding the distance 
so far

she shut the door
and i knew in that moment
she was my mother no more

and in that moment let my 
mind know
its time for all of us to just let 
go

months later i got a strange call
and i knew
sometimes rehab cant fix em` 
all

To: my real mom
Whom has placed this horrible 
curse I call life upon me


Details | Free verse | |

Fading Innocence

No more girlyness
Innocence has withered away
There is never anytime to play
Responsibility...
Nothing to write.
I guess I must be contrite.
All my life I have lived,
I've had the eagerness to fight.
But not now,
I have given up,
there is no more fight in me.
I can accept lifes outcome.
No longer do I have to fight for someone.


Details | I do not know? | |

Just The Way It Is

I tried to wake you up today
Like I always do
All I did was try to care for you
Like little girls should.

Mummy, mummy
Please don't die
I need you to be here
By my side
Brothers always crying
Because he doesn't understand
That mummy only leaves us
Because living makes her sad

The whole street 
Thinks your crazy
As you try to hide
The scars that made you
Your whole damn life

Why cant you just forget
Why cant you leave
The past alone

The doctors didn't care
The police were never there
As the screams of a little girl
Spilled out
Into an air of madness

Watch me bleed
I learned this from you

You were my devil
Stealing my innocence
Stuttering words I'll never forget
"Your Nothing"

Your eyes cut deep
As the knifes are aimed at me
Your love was a weapon
Puncturing my heart
You broke me
I'm a wreck.


Details | ABC | |

You Can't Be Like This

I know you're still doing dope
Just by the way you mope
You went to get clean
You got really mean
I've talked to Rick
And now you make me sick
You lied
I cried
You assume i can't tell
I feel like you're trying to put me under your spell
I'm done pretending
It's time to come clean


Details | Rhyme | |

Being A Vessel of God

Being A Vessel of God...

 I met someone in a very difficult situation.
I kept walking and gave
 "no explanation."

I was then asked a very
 direct question:
"I thought you said that 
you're a Christian!"

I began to feel a conviction within my soul.
"Which direction should I take"  
I didn't know.

Either keep walking, or stop 
to help this person in need.
"I suppose just this once... 
I'll do a generous deed."

I reached out and loved 
him in Jesus' name.
And told him that it was for his life 
that our savior came.

My heart was broken as I heard 
all he had gone through.
I was speechless.  I really didn't
 know what to do.

I decided to buy him a cup of coffee 
and a sandwich as well.
And shared that Jesus loves
 him more than words can tell.

He thanked me and said, 
"I'm so glad that you care."
I then was able to lead him 
into a  salvation prayer.

We talked more about God before 
we each went our own way.
But I'll never forget what happened 
that particular day.

It helped me begin to 
realize and truly see...
How God wants so much to use 
someone like me...

By JIm Pemberton  


Details | Rhyme | |

Setting up House

I met a woman, fell in love
She was a gift from above
Soon she became my spouse
We gathered things and set up house.

Some things were new without a flaw
Some were hand me downs from Ma and Paw
For some we saved nickels in a can
Some were bought on the installment plan.

Children came – a total of four
Two boys – two girls- no need for more
We managed to provide room and board
Did the best we could afford.

We moved around from house to house
On an adventure – me and my spouse
Gathering things to which we would cling
But we rarely got rid of anything.

Tables, chairs, couches, and beds
Cabinets and shelves taller than our heads
Mugs, pictures, and bells we did collect
Mementoes and heirlooms on which to reflect.

A man gathers a lot in over fifty years
And remembers many of them with tears
Many a thing still fills my house
But it’s not a home without my spouse.

She has a room in a retirement home
Care is provided and she cannot roam
I dreamed one day we would be old timers
But I never figured on Alzheimer’s.

Now I have a house full of stuff
Too many things - more than enough
The time has come to downsize
To an apartment in the high rise.

My children came one by one
Went through my stuff until they were done
One takes this and another takes that
And managed to do so without a spat.

Giving things away is a lonely task
My irritability I cannot mask
Gathering things with my spouse
Was more fun than cleaning out house.



Details | Rhyme | |

The Old House and the New Home

The Old House and the New Home
©2011 C. Brent Cloyd

I’ve lived in houses in the country side
There with my family I did abide
By the dust and gravel of a country road
Much pride was taken in our humble abode

I’ve lived in houses perched on a hill
Many of which are not standing still
They provided shelter in their time
Provoked memories that make life rhyme 

I’ve lived in a house on a city street
Where the neighbors came out at night to meet
I’ve lived in houses made of wood and stone
On avenues where children could safely roam

I’ve lived in houses of mortar and brick
Where driveways were paved and the grass was thick
I’ve enjoyed houses far better than most
Where friends would come and I could serve as host

But my current house seems like a foreign land
Where everyone wants to lend me a hand
Living in this place is not my desire
Of this arrangement I easily tire

The time has come for me to leave
To this old house I will not cleave
I no longer want a cottage here below
To a fine home in heaven soon I will go.

I long not for a mansion or streets of gold
But just a place where I will never grow old
A place where pain and sadness are never more
Where happiness is found on every shore

I am eager, yes ready, to move out
To possess my new home with a shout!
The promised home Jesus went to prepare
Death please come quickly, I want to be there.


Details | Rhyme | |

Lucy Paris

(works better when you read 'Suzy Brown' before this)


I tell my father not to cry,
Mum would want us to be happy,
I rock my little brother,
Feed him and change his nappy,

And all the while I try to smile,
And hold it all together,
I used to love helping Mum out,
But I'm reaching the end of my tether,

I saw Suzy Brown the other day,
She seems to be doing the same as me,
Holding it in on the surface but underneath
She must be so unhappy,

Mrs Brown had a bike in her backseat,
She couldn't see my mother,
But they both flew away to Heaven that day,
Or so I told my brother,

Since then, the last thing on my mind
Has been my appearance,
But I think that's the real reason
Behind my friends' non-interference,

People stare at my parting
Where the blonde is growing out,
They just don't seem to understand
I have bigger things to worry about,

I worked hard to afford my clothes and shoes,
But what use is all that when
You're trying to comfort a widowed man,
And you'll never see your mother again?

Everyone knows me around my school,
So it cuts me to the core
That although they know my story,
They don't talk to me anymore,

I know that people used to envy me,
Jealous of every last possession,
It saddens me that they'd be shocked,
To hear my heart's confession;

Everything that makes me Lucy Paris,
I'd gladly give away,
If I could've got there in time to kiss my Mum goodbye,
Or be with her for once more day.


Details | Romanticism | |

What about me?

I’m so very sick of this
I no longer have his touch
I no longer have his kiss
With each passing second
He is the one I will forever miss
And yet love is supposed to be
Happily ever after and filled with endless bliss
I’m telling you though
I’m so very sick of this

I’m completely worn of it
She breaks me down 
Everyday bit by bit
Do this, do that
When these are her things and she’s perfectly fit
To carry the tasks out for herself
Being here is taking its toll and handing me hard hits
Yet I have no where to go
So here is where I sit
Day after day, night after night
But with every breath I take
I’m completely worn of it

For so long I’ve cared for everyone else’s feelings
But now it’s time I take back control
All of this has left my heart, soul, and mind reeling
And on the sleeve of my shirt you will find
Every essence of me bleeding
My mind constantly wonders, thinking of those memories
As slowly but surly my precious time now is what they are stealing
Put it all back where it should be and move on
It’s been too long with me caring for everyone else’s feelings

At the end of the day I’m left here saying what about me?
Never any answer do I have
Just the asking and the questioning
Am I not good enough for you
Am I not good enough to be me
Seems as though you’re ashamed
That is until it’s me with whom you need to be
Perhaps you should both open you’re eyes
But I still doubt at this moment you will ever truly see
Just how special I am
Just how lucky you are to have had me
I’m now trying on my own
To get the hell up off my knees
Where are either one of you?
Hum….you’re over there doing as you please
From all what I am, and from these feeling I will always have
I long something awful to be free
Because as of yet
Neither one of you has come to see
That at the end of each and every single day
I’m the one left here asking what about me?

…….one day in the near future or distant time
You just may open you’re eyes and search
Wondering why it’s me that either of you just can’t any longer find….


Details | I do not know? | |

Before I Go

Does it make you happy?
Does drowning in the sea of sadness
Take your breath away
Just for a moment 
If you could see
The spinning stop
And notice the world around you

But you never will.

Do you believe your own lies?
Because it's all you've got
Is life worth living?
When you forgot 
Yesterday.

Will you remember?
What you did to me
In twisted dreams
Or will the alcohol sedate you?
From all you see


Details | Rhyme | |

10/17/75

Why do we have to be so blind
when we're reborn every time
why not use the knowledge gained
when we were called by different names?

Why must we always start from scratch
to err and suffer and illness catch
why does it take us fifty years
of pain and suffering and endless tears?

Oh, to do it all again
knowing what I didn't then.
Would words unspoken in sadness mired
have kept the gun from being fired?


Details | Narrative | |

A Shot In The Dark { Narrative}

helplessly he stumbled 
through the door
holding his bloody chest 
Mother gazed into 
her fourteen year old eyes 
and just knew that he was up 
to his old antics of gang banging 
Yelling and cursing did nothing 
to wake this kid up 
Mother's tears flooded 
like an open gate 
she wondered 
where she went wrong 
raising him 
for he had the best 
of everything 
a home a job an education 
anything he wanted 
or needed 
was right at his fingertips 
maybe having only one parent 
in the household 
or just not enough discipline 
now she stands helplessly 
over her young sons 
lifeless body 
lying on the kitchen floor
in a pool of blood 
all that she could do now
was to pick up the phone 
and call the police 
and the morgue 



Tribute To Children


Details | Rhyme | |

A Young Man With A Heavy Load


A Young Man With A Heavy Load… I was watching a young man walking down my road. I could tell that he was sad, and carrying a “heavy load.” You see his dad had recently “up and left the home.” Now he and his mom were left all alone! I could tell it was hard for him to hold back the tears. Especially after being with his dad for so many years! I don’t think that parents think about what they say and do. They can hurt and betray the one who said; “I love YOU!” When this happens… I know that the heart of God is hurting.. Too many couples are together, but their eyes “keep flirting.” They feel happy to have a family, but soon it’s not enough… And quickly run out when things get “tough.” The dishonesty, lying and cheating are too commonplace… I’ve seen the heartache and pain upon a loved one’s face. Jesus knows all about the hurt and pain that this can cause. He also knows about the “friction” caused by the “in-laws.” For the one that may be thinking of leaving his or her family… You may think it’s fun now… But you’re not going to be happy! Whatever is tugging at your heart now may seem “appealing.” But it’s the love from your spouse and kids that you’re stealing! I challenge you to be the man or woman of God he wants you to be! You need to be with the family God gave you! Can’t you see??? Come on back and spend the quality time you need to spend. Your family and children need you both as a parent and a friend! Allow the love of Jesus Christ to bind your hearts together! May his peace and joy comfort you now and forever! Allow your home to be filled with the love of God’s precious son! May be bring your family together in unity… As ONE! By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

An Innocent Child

A young homeless child
Looking for a home but finds none.
On my first day at school the mother's not around
To comfort me when I'm down-right scared
An innocent child of seventeen
I find myself locked up in a placement
An innocent child now afraid of time
Will I forget my goals and dreams?
I go to Maryhurst
And meet people who care
I learn about peer pressure and much more
Now comes the time
To break through.....
The Fear


Details | Free verse | |

LOVE OR HATE

stand right here in front of me
and tell me that you love me
then follow with you respect me
then follow with you TRUST ME

cause right now it's gone from bad to worse
your shovin me in this hurse
like a game?
I'm just hurt.
it's like your overprotective but at the same time it's worthless
you can't run my life,
but you can sure as hell try
and come close to it.
hate to break it to ya 
but im a grown girl,
a grown adult
you have to stop this twirl 
that is circling like a merry-go-round!
i can't be sound,
can't be tame
it's no longer a game!
you once said you wanted to have a close relationship,
well guess what,
you're pushing me out,
without even thinking,
in the heat of a moment
and 
I'll be gone before you know it
gone before you realize;
that once when we could talk,
once when it wasn't opinionated,
once when you were sincere instead of tuning my heart out
is about to be forgotten,
down a sewage drain,
out the back-door.
Your controlling ways have done nothing but tore
the lining to my emotions,
its ripped, ripped away 
and the only way to protect beneath that lining
is to get the hell out.
save my soul before you try to take over it all
ruining the experiences I WANT to have,
you don't get it 
you don't want to
and after all of this 
even if i surrender over my happiness
it wont be enough,
there will be more-
and with more there will be higher expectations
and lower for others
it's like I have to impress the queen
when all i want back
is you.


Details | Lyric | |

We Walk Amongst The Faithful

We walk amongst the faithful. Unknown to human eyes. So normal and so human, They can't see through our disguise. The tears of angels made us As they flew down from the sky. They didn't want to do it, So all they did was cry. We're stuck amongst the ruin. The horror and despair. We've seen a bit too closely To the heart of Evil's lair. We walk amongst the faithful. Unknown to human eyes. So normal and so human, They can't see through our disguise. We're scarred up on the inside, But outside we're just fine. We hide the truth so well They can't see into our lies. Our daddies were all drinkers. And when they would get mad, They'd take it out us poor souls, And boy were we so glad When Daddy drank himself to sleep, And we could go and hide. Carve another scar into our heart Which was hidden deep inside. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so human They can't see through our disguise. Our mommies all liked men Perhaps a bit too much They sampled fair and far And didn't mind the touch. When Mommy fell asleep, Her boyfriends would come down And they would scare us half to death And they'd start to mess around. And after they were done Ravaging our broken souls We'd take our chance to run And hide from things we'd never know. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so human They can't see through our disguise. Our families are all broken We have no place to hide No place to let our tears out Let out what hurts inside. And now we sit here all alone In this dark corner as all hope Evades our longing hands We've lost our way to cope. And now we hide our feelings And what they've done to every “me”. We hold our chins up high. We do not let them see. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so humans Can't see through our disguise We pretend it doesn't happen We can't let anyone know Our traitor of a heart Is something we can't show. Would anyone even understand What we hold inside our hearts? Or would we be a freak show A different world apart? Maybe one day we will find one Every single one of us Someone who will understand Someone we can trust.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

In the full view of things

In the full view of things 
people will always be harsh 
People will always be stuck up 
Nobody will ever try to help 
Whenever I cry for someone to help 


Nobody comes....


Sometimes I think I am not crying loud enough to hear 
But then I relize,
They only pretend not to hear 
He tells me he cares 
But I know he lies 


He ALWAYS lies....


No matter how hard I try 
No matter what I do 
He still is not satisfied 
He and his frankinstine bride 
Be forwarned... the tale about step mothers.... is true.


They always lie....


They think I am insane 
So they send me to this person
She calls herself a consoler... haha.....
She doesn't have a clue 
She lies, she knows nothing of privet thoughts, and should not be called a counsoler.


What do they know any way....


My mind is my mind 
No one elses to invade 
But if you're brave enough to try 
Good luck getting out... well ...you could say the same 
My mind is always busy 
I can't remember a time when I wasn't thinking 
About the past 
About things I could have said or done 
Or about the future I wish could be true 


I don't know who to trust..... except for one........


My mom 
My sweet and loveing mother 
She is my everything
I love and trust her  
More than I can say


I trust her I love her....


My mom knows me better than anyone I know
She knows my fears, dreams, and hopes
She loves me 
She trust me 
She is the one who helped me when no one would 


I hate him......


The man poseing as a father 
The man who was never there for me
The person I want to be the farthest away from 
I am forced to live with 
By a boges court 
Full of hypocrits and morons 


Why should they get to pick.......


They tell me where I get to go 
They tell me I don't know
OH but I do 
I know more than they could possibly dream of knowing 
Seven years I had been hideing 
Seven years I have known 
He is a heartless monster 


I was there.....


All they had was papers 
I wasn't even aloud in the room 
I had all the proff they needed 
Seven years of experence
But it didn't matter 

One day we will be home with our mother where we belong.


Details | I do not know? | |

Over the edge

I'm infused with pain
 I draw incisions on my vain 
cutting deeper each time
 falling deeper into my depression mad at the world pissed at god for ripping away the 3 people I loved
 I watched as my mothers heart was ripped out of her chest and murdered
 to young to understand that pain 
i'll just slice another vain 
no one cares about me so y should I care 
Blood pouring out
 my grandma thinks I'm crazy 
So do my friends but it's just all the pain I hold in
Rip me from this life
Stab me in the heart with this knife 
Tonight I commit suicide
Don't feel sorry for me 
Cause now I'm finally free 


Details | Blank verse | |

She Said








She Said
By Spidey Williams

She gave me a kiss followed by a long hug
With the words “Never will I betray your love”
I’m here with you to the very end 
As your grandmother and mother’s best-friend
I know you are scared to trust 
But I understand you’re not much different then us
The longer we live the more we learn
The more we embrace love the more we get burned
The more we refrain from love the more we cry
The more we ignore love the more we lie
Life is what we make it I was always taught
So what life have we made for each other and how much did it cost
Were we over charged or did we fail to bargain for what we bought
Did we buy at first glance?
Or knowingly did we take that chance 
Thinking we could sell it back at a higher price
Not realizing few people would actually want our life
Yet we live life like there’s no tomorrow
Then justify all of our sorrows
Then we act surprise when tomorrow comes and goes
When seasons changes and we finally reap what we have sewed
Realizing today is the aftermath of yesterday and tomorrow is the direct result of 
today
Yet when do we now have time to pray 
Or should I say 
When will we take time to say okay?
I am only me
But I can be more than me
If only I accept the now for now and worry later later
Than maybe life wouldn’t seem that bad now later

I went to interrupt her and to voice my concerns
When she placed one finger on my mouth then
She said,
You said the longer we live the more we learn
The more you refrain from loving the more pain burns
The more we embrace love the more we cry
The more we ignore love the more we lie
Life is what it appears to be
Even in the time of misery 
Life isn’t really mystery 
It is a puzzle with all the necessary pieces of life
You have everything you need you just have to fit them right
  She said!


Details | Rhyme | |

Too Late

A cold, dead sun hangs in an unearthly black sky,
Casting putrid light onto barren monotone,
He finds himself afloat as frozen minutes pass by, 
No, not floating. Standing, in an of existence of his own,
Observing an alien landscape, of which he is not a part,
Detached from tearful events below,
Watching people gather, whilst waiting to depart,
The star of his own morbid show.

His gaze scans the mass of gathered faces,
Recollecting where each visage was first met,
Memories of times, people and places,
Some he loves to remember, some he longs to forget,
He identifies each person and their place within the scene,
Friends he held so dear and those he hardly knew,
Neglected family gathered together on the green,
With mother, still loving, despite all he put her through.

And then amongst the crowd he spies her,
The girl he would have married, if he’d ever dared,
To dream a life joined with another, a life laid bare,
But there never was a thing he wilfully shared,
Not possessions nor life nor heart nor truth,
Such things were his alone to be tasted,
And this to him becomes the final proof,
That his indeed was a life wasted.

The quiet audience take a solemn stance,
As the clergyman motions they are to begin,
Pall bearers bring the box to the centre of this merry dance,
No more than a shell of a man lies within,
A stranger’s words attempt to translate the soul,
As his mother looks on dry eyed and brave,
And the lonely box is lowered into the waiting hole,
An empty man in an empty grave.


Details | Free verse | |

He Never Shook My Hand - Part 3

Glad to be back at my apartment,
I hung my coat,
Took off my shoes,
And stepped into the lounge.

I was greeted by my mother,
As I entered the room,
Her visit unexpected,
But a warm and welcome face.

Instinctively she knew my feelings,
My face gave away,
The fear within,
She wrapped her arms around me.

So warm and safe, I drift and dream, Always glad, in mother’s arms, Gently so she lays me down, Victim of my mother’s charms. Never could I come to harm, Here within my cradle bed, With mother softly singing so, As she strokes my sleepy head. My ever present Angel sighs, And with such angelic grace, She sings her simple lullaby, And presses pillow over face.
In disbelief I pulled away, Stared her in the eye, Almost ran across the room, And told my mother to leave.


Details | Rhyme | |

This Past Year


I think about this past year... It “came and went…” I wonder that kind of life have I really spent? It almost seems like yesterday that I was a young man… “I had the world in the palm of my hand.” I had many goals, ambitions and dreams. I wanted to enjoy life and do so many things. Looking back on time and how quickly it’s gone by. I gaze up into the beauty of the stars in the sky. As I get older and think about another “resolution.” I find myself with another problem with no “solution.” I think about a God... Who made all of this a possibility! He’s offered to me love, hope and tranquility! I’m going to make a new commitment this January 1st. No matter if things get better… Or things get worse… I’m going to give my life and family to God above. And ask him to bless our home with his mercy and love. I’m going to try to live for him the best way I know. And seek his blessings wherever I may go! I’m going to give to God a love and strong commitment. It’s only in him where I’ll find true fulfillment! There’s an important fact, I shall always remember… God is with me from January thru December! He will be there to guide each step that is taken! With him in my life… I’m never alone or forsaken! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Without God We're Empty Within


Without God… We’re Empty Within! Without God… Our life is filled with emptiness within. And is quickly absorbed into the quicksand of sin! Without God… We are like sheep that have gone astray. Being confused... And going the wrong way! Without God… We have no moral compass or guide. And soon become arrogant and filled with pride! Without God… We are like a ship that’s lost at sea. Not knowing who we are or where we’re going to be! Without God… We have no true hope or security. Everything becomes meaningless and utter vanity! Without God… We have a life built on a “shaky” foundation. It’s only through HIM… We can become a new creation! With God… All things are possible to those who believe! An abundant life with Christ… You can achieve! With God… Your life can be cleansed and made whole! Only he can bring true love to your soul! With God… Can you find eternal life so joyful and bliss! God’s purpose for your life. You don’t want to miss! With God… You can have peace and joy you never had! He’ll give you a reason to be happy and glad! With God… Things in your life will never be the same! That moment you reach out… And call on HIS name! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

The Capsule of Validity

She trickles and puddles in pools of warped fabrications,
With insipid and sheepish defenses,
She clouds my concentration of clarity and washes away the pitiful pigment—
Swallow.
Swallow the mystic pain of proper awareness,
And as the tremor of repulsive reality flumes over me,
Every sense is sharp, cruel, and plastered on the wall of grief, 
I am catatonic. 
Pop one, two, three down the rabbit hole of ignorant bliss, 
And become conscious.  
Conscious of my role in the game of deception,
And of my inept, used, and trampled body.

The exasperated shades deluge my blind feeble eyes, 
Yet still I yearn for the pill of knowledge. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Can God Find You Faithful

Can God Find You Faithful?

I once knew a man had made
up his mind.
He left his wife and children behind!

He met someone who “captured his heart.”
This was a deception 
from the very start!

His wife gave God and their kids
her love and attention...
But her husband went
Into another direction!

  They went to church...
 And did their "Sunday best."
How could this 
 turn into such a mess?

Temptation can happen to anyone!. 
Whether rich or poor.
Be careful what you allow to
 enter your heart's door.

Regardless of whether you've been
 married for a lot of years..."
One shameful act can bring
 heartache and tears!

The love that’s been given...
  Let no one take away!
No matter what others think...
 Or what they might say.

Stay true to God!  You'll be 
glad you did!
His love and joy will bless you
 each day you live!

Jesus will never forsake you!
Or leave you alone!
Allow HIM to bring peace and
 restore your home!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Hush Baby

Sh, sh, close your eyes,
silent night broken by your painful cries.
Your heart is broken, I can tell;
it's okay, for mine is as well.
Don't ever wonder why or how,
just know mommy's with the angel's now.
The blood is nothing, mommy just fell,
there's something years from now I have to tell.
Mommy doesn't want you to be sad,
she'd want you happy, so please be glad.
She was a wonderful person, I'm sure you kow,
twenty is much too young to go.
You're also to young, only five,
I'm glad that at least you're alive.
C'mon baby, daddy's here,
we're all alone now, I fear.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Grime

She stands by the door waiting for 
her to come, the days finally here 
going home with her mum. 

She's 4 now, almost a year to the 
day, since the childrens aid workers 
came to take her away. 

When she was taken her mom was 
addicted to crack, pulled in by the 
streets and not looking back. 

Mom hustles the streets, living blast 
to blast, hoping this  will help her 
forget her past. 

But now her heart is filled with 
sorrow, "don't worry honey ill clean 
up tomorrow." 

Tomorrows come and go but she 
stays on the street, the drug that's 
too hard  to beat. 

Then it happens a sign from the 
gods, something makes her defy all 
the odds. 

Her boyfriend arrested sent off to 
jail, won't be a while til he can get 
bail. 

Now the light goes off in her head, 
she realizes that the street will soon 
make her dead. 

She leaves downtown and rebuilds 
her life, she can't believe why she 
caused all this strife. 

After a few weeks she gets a visit 
supervised, and she changes herself 
seeing her kids eyes. 

She goes back to school and gets 
her own place, help from family and 
friends she rehabilitates. 

Her boyfriend from prison promises 
her the world, says when he gets out 
it will be them and her girl. 

7 months go by her man gets out of 
jail, now this is not the end of the 
tale. 

Now the little girl stares at the door, 
which I'm sure she's done many 
times before. 

Todays the day, ribbons in her hair, 
pretty pink dress her mom will soon 
be there. 

She hears the door handle and yells 
"Mommy",   door opens its not what 
she expected to see.

The lady walks in sad look on her 
face. The young girl knows she won't 
be leaving this place. 

"Sorry honey, mommy can't make it 
today",
"Why?  Where is she?  What did she 
say?"

Her mom sits in the crackhouse, 
drugs in her hand, staring across the 
table at her freshly released  man. 

"Does anyone have a pipe I can 
borrow?"
"Don't worry honey ill clean up 
tomorrow!"
 



Details | Acrostic | |

The Girl With No Name

November 26, 2009
She walks with her head down,
She wonders with no purpose,
She has a mother who forgets her,
She has a father who dosnt want her,
She has parents who cant handle her,
What is she to do with herself?
She has two sets of parents,
Neither seem to want her,
She has a big family but,
None have time for her,
She hides her tears,
She hides her pain,
She hides the abuse,
She blocks people out.
This is her legacy ,
This is her story,
This is her life,
This is the girl with no name.


Details | I do not know? | |

a girl with an angles power

Sometimes I know not what to feel,
As most things seem to be surreal,
My hatred curdles with my love,
For this demon who lives above.

Her sightless eyes stare back at me,
It takes all I am just not to flee,
I want to hold her stone cold hand,
But she is no longer in this land.

I feel so sad I sit and cry,
My only wish is to say good bye,
But she holds on with a locking grip,
She never from my conscience slips.

Her face will never leave my side,
There is no place to run and hide,
For ever tormenting my heart and soul,
Until one day I too am cold.




Details | Elegy | |

Never Again

Feeling is believing,
the heart has felt the pain,
love lost, now gone
forever, to be never
seen again.
Our mommy and
our daddy, gone from
our sight but not our hearts,
we will forever love them
and never be apart.


Details | Rhyme | |

Aborted Babies


Aborted Babies…

Innocent life is being murdered each day.
While our courts say that it’s legal and “o.k.”

Women getting pregnant and maybe don’t understand.
The tragedy that’s happening all over this land!

Is this really something that many people have willed?
To have the unborn to be 
“torn apart and killed?”

Many are told abortion is the “best thing to do.”
But not knowing who else to turn to.

Government pretends to have an answer for this.
But it’s just turning into one huge mess!

Read the Bible and you will come to know.
The God who created you… 
Loves you so!

Jesus knew you in the womb!  
Your hair color and name!
He saw your body when out of your
 mother you came!

He saw your little heart the first time it beat!
And saw your mother the first time
 she tickled your feet!

There is never one unwanted person on God’s list!
You are precious to him…  
And are never missed!

He knows each life and every heart that’s beating!
And brings purpose, love and
 a TRUE meaning!

BY Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

"Identity"

Gentle, mild, and meek.
Human-strong and weak.

A mask to hide away the pain.
Hard to live with shame.

Good person, good friend.
A ? mark; never seen through to the end.

Chivalry is dead and so is the “good
Samaritan” act.
In this world today, it’s a true, proven fact.

Humble; a little pride, determination is my drive.
If I want things to get better for me,
hope burns on the inside.

Reserved and I move at my own pace.
Steady and slow, less consequences to face.

This is my life; pathetic as it is.
It’s the only one I have; not urs, theirs, hers or his.

I know who I am.
I have too much respect for myself and body; forever condemned.

So if u ask me, 
“Who are u and what I am?

I’ll smile and say, 
			“For I am Poetry!”

Profound, misunderstood, and a lifelong mystery.


Details | I do not know? | |

An Innocent Child

A young homeless child
Looking for a home but finds none.
On my first day at school the mother's not around
To comfort me when I'm down-right scared
An innocent child of seventeen
I find myself locked up in a placement
An innocent child now afraid of time
Will I forget my goals and dreams?
I go to Maryhurst
And meet people who care
I learn about peer pressure and much more
Now comes the time
To break through.....
The Fear


Details | Free verse | |

My Creator

My creator.
So far from me but so close.
No matter the suffering,
the love is unconditional.

I push through each day.
Remembering your face,
our conversations,
your comfort.

My creator
the ultimate comprehension of my soul.
you know my soul no matter the scars.

No matter the pain
I push to the next day.
I try to remember the good
and justify your ghost.

My creator
I hope you are with me someday again.


Details | I do not know? | |

Redemption of a Child

It has been years of terror, pain, nightmarish hell!
Little girl in faded cast offs, shuffled from back room to main office.
Disembodied voices, cubicles, paperwork, a drab cell.
Letterhead, Department Of Children Services, an address and phone number.
Eyes suspicious, blond hair ragged. Nevada  midsummer.
Woman, excruciatingly thin, pale, tired and sunken.
Child, fearful, nervous, confused emotions drunken.
Summer, its mama, please remember me.
Child, through fog of lies and time. A lonely little flicker, remembrance possibly?
Four years gone, milk carton child, young innocence stolen.
Home lost no more, hell traded for future gossamer dreams, golden.

                                                                                                      Summer Gratias


Details | Free verse | |

Summer Abuse

It's summer again
And I hate it
Your abuse is worse in summer
Every summer you do this to me
You call me horrid names
You hurt me physically and mentally
And I'm sick of
I just want to runaway but
If I did then you would be hurt you
I know you don't mean doing these things
But
Don't you understand what it does to me
You say you care about me
But do you really
You know, I don't care anymore
I cared for years 
But now you've gone too far
You're taking me away from
My friends, my boyfriend and even family
Why do you do this
Is it because you hate me
Even if you do
I have too much heart to hate you back
I want to kill you
I really do
But if I do then I might as well kill my self
Ha! There you go again
You're now going to beat me 
because I said 'I love you'
I sigh and go to my room
I pack my bags and leave a note
Saying how much I hate you
I bet you're crying and I'm happy
I'm happy you feel distraught
I hope you have a horrible life starting now


Details | I do not know? | |

Tears Of Blood

In my dreams her voice is cold,
Her haunting eyes so bright and bold,
She tells me she will take my life,
For all I caused that fateful night.

I beg and plead for her to go,
Her vile sole belongs below,
But she insists that she will stay,
And all her games I have to play.

Her wicked hands curled round my thought,
They make me gag and make me choke,
I wish I could escape this dream,
But her eyes so hard they gleam.

As I wake I find I cry,
To see that I have told these lies,
There streaming from me like hot mud,
As I see I have tears of blood.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Tear

Upon my fingertip, today I caught a tear.
I pondered all it's meaning, held with in its bounds.
Sparkling with all the love, of many a past year.
But listen very closely and hear the sorrowed sounds.

My tears are those of missing you,
A void that's never filled.
From day to day I'm at a loss, not knowing what to do.
My heart's a rocky soil, parched and un-tilled.
My thoughts are often afar off, but mostly are of you.

I caught a tear today upon my fingertip.
I strained to see the memories you've left me.
Your name and all you were and are, rest upon my lip.
Someday again I know I'll see you, just you wait and see.

I've got so many tears I know I'll never run out.
Each one I catch I'll be thinking of you.
For that there is no doubt.
Please, wont you remember me too.

I…miss…you…

(I caught a lot of flack over this line: "My thoughts are often afar off"... 
I wrote it as I meant it! 
I lost my mother and six months later my mother-in-law... 
it was a painful time in my life... 
This poem has been sent over 60,000 times through out the world over the internet... )


Details | Ottava rima | |

WAR SEEN THROUGH A YOUNGSTER'S EYES

Born in that historical and eventful year
when changes were sweeping this country,
peace songs were heard in the scary, tumultuous air...
not realizing the dear cost for the quest of liberty
when soldiers would have gone to a foreign land so far,
to defend what others thought was sheer folly!
And their blood was shed in jungles and on dusty roads,
never feeling selfish pride by carrying the heaviest loads.


And from those sad and tragic memories,
my lyrics were written and sung to myself
with the hope of revealing them with teary eyes...
remembering what took for them to face pain without relief
and whenever letters were delayed in the mail mothers
began to fear the worst, if not a horrible death...
many went to churches and synagogues to ask God for mercy,
and yes He heard their pleas, but war had no clemency.


Many of those soldiers were given Purple Hearts
for their remarkable courage to have confronted danger without surrendering to the enemy,
others were forgotten in wheelchairs without legs and arms,
and they wept with no one offering comfort, warmth and sympathy...
but on those heart so proud of their Motherland they wore American flags,
unable to forget their commitment when they were asked to fight for their beloved country.
O brave soldiers, if no medals or honors were given you...let me reward you for your fright:
by erasing all the atrocity of bloody scenes that still are troubling your longest, coldest night. 
    


Details | Rhyme | |

Death and All His Friends

If I cry 
i cry for day's
of crystal sky's
and butterfly's
when nothing could stand in my way

If I cry 
I cry for the connection
we had
hen you would travil to distant lands
and make me smile
hen you came back to hold my hand

If I cry 
I cry for the embrace
you gave me
when i fell off my bike that day
and you said
it would all be okay

If I cry 
I cry for the moments
we had together
even if they were cut short
because of the weather

If I cry
I cry for my mother 
when that stedy note streamed
across the hospital scene

If I cry
If I cry for the two
who crawled through spikes
to save me and you

but if I smile 
I smile for the support
of the people that are scatered everywhere
for the people who fixed the shattered glass
and for the people who have surpassed death;
and all of his friends


Details | Rhyme | |

I Can't Do This Anymore It's Dragging Me Down

I just can’t keep “doing this” any longer! What am I doing? I began to wonder… This “sin” just keeps dragging me further down… What do I do? There’s no one around??? This “thing” has got a hold on me… I cry every night… I want to be FREE! I’ve tried and tried… But to no avail… Just when I think I have victory… I fail! I’ve read in scripture of a power that I haven’t seen. I read of a savior who can do ANYTHING! Why don’t I give him a try? I’ve nothing to lose! I’ve been so hurt, worn out and abused..… To you, dear Jesus… I confess my every sin. And can feel your love from deep within! Thank you Jesus! For giving me a joy I never knew… I don’t know where I’d be if not for YOU! You’ve brought to my life a peace I never had. For all you’ve done for me. I am so glad! Won’t YOU give your burdens to this one… I call friend? And experience the joy of being born again? Please come to him now. Why not this hour? And experience his life-changing power! By Jim Pemberton 01/17/10


Details | Free verse | |

Letting Him In

You said you love us
And would never hurt us
But then you let him walk into our lifes
Even with everything you know
You wouldn't say no and just walk away
You finally stood your ground
Said never and left him for all he's worth

I hope you never know 
All the things that go through this head
I hope you never know
All the pain that i felt
I hope you never know
All the nights that i lied awake in bed
I hope you never know
All the tears that shot down my face
I hope you never know
All the pain

All the pain you invited in
Just by letting him walk in
All the sorrows you carried in
The ones with no end
All the sleepless nights that would begin
All the tears that have no trace
All the fears I face inside
And all the nightmares that came to be

And all this
Just by letting him in


Details | Rhyme | |

Take Me Home

Take me home, 
But it will be okay.
What if we can be a role model for someone else?
Then I'll stay.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Big Problem In Churches Today


A Big Problem In Churches Today… There’s a big problem in churches deep within… Very few preach on the topic of; “SIN.” Sin is a very powerful and destructive force! Many families are coming apart and ending in divorce! Getting involved in perversions of various kinds… Many are getting a garbage of filth in their minds! Too many pastors are afraid to preach of a God who’s HOLY! They remain silent and consider it a bunch of “baloney! It’s just too easy to come and play “the Sunday game.” But at home… Things are not the same! Not everyone in church is doing fine and “o.k.” It doesn’t matter how you listen or what you say! God is a God of love but also of holiness too! He wants the best kind of life for me and YOU! He said to “take up the cross and come follow me!” This is the only way we can be TOTALLY FREE!!! Whatever sin or problem is “holding you down.” Seek the awesome presence of Jesus that can be found! If you can’t find his presence in your church building… Come to him in prayer! Seek his power of forgiving! He is God! There is NOTHING that you need to fear! Through the blood of Jesus… Your sins will disappear! He is and will always reward those who diligently seek him! All of your struggles you can put “beneath him!” “Though your sins be as back as scarlet, they can be as white like snow!” Once you’ve met the master. And the redeemer of your soul! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Cease

There was this little girl,
Her Mama's world.
Who frowned and drowned,
From her fears and tears.
She could never bare,
The fact that someone cares.
One day she ran away,
Never to think she'd miss the light of day.
Her Mama cried.
Thinking she had never tried.
Police stepped to the door,
Glancing at the bloody floor.
"I cease the day,
My daughter gets away.
Forever hold my peace,
As I let this trigger release.
The daughter dropped to her knees,
Asking her mother Why oh please?
She shut her eyes,
As she prayed to the skies.


Details | Free verse | |

Hurting Inside

Don't you see
What your doing to me
Every turmoil and fight
Leaves me feeling so low.

Carving a scar into my heart
Like a knife to the tree bark
I feel it starting to cut
As the stinging pain
Aches in my soul.

All the blasted howling
Every empty threat spoken
Saying you don't care
About nothing at all,
But I care deeply.

Words spoken so sharp
Like the scissors that clip
Clipping away at my heart
Happiness that once resided
Slowly replaced by sadness.

I've put up with it all
From the day I was born
But now I'm starting to feel
That I'm going to pieces.

One by one
Inch by inch
Slowly, but surely
My soul shrinking

If I scrap my shoulder
I won't mind at all
For the real pain resides
Inside my fragile heart.


Details | Rhyme | |

Those Close to Us Can Cause Much Hurt And Pain


Those Close To Us Can Cause Much Hurt And Pain... Isn’t it amazing… The hurt and damage, someone can do? Especially by the same person who said; “I Love You!” Isn’t it amazing… How someone, which we’ve given our heart… Can betray our love, and “tear it all apart?” On that special day, when your vows were exchanged… It’s almost like “overnight,” some people change! Even amongst Christians. This seems too commonplace. As people seek their own desires… Instead of God’ grace. Isn’t it amazing… How anger, jealousy and bitterness begins? Even amongst our loved ones, that we have called “friends?” What’s more amazing… Is how God, in his mercy and care.. Still loves us. And he is always there! No matter what you’ve said… No matter what you’ll do…. God remains the same. And is always there for YOU! He is faithful. His commitment to you is strong and secure! His love is everlasting. And is 100% PURE! I stand amazed, as to how God still loves us. He asks for our heart. He wants to trust us! Won’t you come and experience his love today? He loves you so much more than words could ever say! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Never---------is the right time Exit------stage left

From tots barely walking unaware of life’s fears.
To the rich in spirit and full of years.
A bright torch, now extinguished……results in tears.

For blood, friends, and neighbors raw unchecked emotions surface……love, guilt, hate, anger…it’s a varied toss.

Realizing you will never contact, hear, or see your loved one again, only deepens the emotional loss.

Do what you gotta do, to make it through.

Forgive yourself….if need be seek professional help, beats wearing a strait jacket long sleeved.

To the living of dearly departed matriarchs, mothers, women rest assured; “A lady always knows when to leave”…..


Details | Rhyme | |

Mom I'm Pregnant

“Mom….   I’m Pregnant!”


From the time I held my baby 
in my arms…
I made a vow to “protect her from all harm.”

She was indeed a wonderful bundle of joy…
And during her life, has been a gift for us to enjoy.

She's been  the focus of much of our attention,
Trying to provide for her 
“timely” correction.

As a father, many thoughts entered my mind…
I wanted to be attentive to her, 
patient and kind.

As she's gone through 
her teenage years…
I thought of what perhaps is a parent’s #1 “fear.”

Then one day... “Mom I’m pregnant” were spoken...
At first, my heart was sad and “broken.”

“I didn’t raise her to be “crazy and wild…”
“How could this happen to a wonderful child?”

I realized that in spite of everything
 parent’s will do.
There’s no telling what their 
children will put them through.

I gave her a hug and all of the
 support  I could give…
Everything she’s been through…
 God will forgive!

With all that has happened in her life…
One day she’ll make someone a wonderful wife!

Dear Lord, please help my daugher to see...
How precious she is to her mother and me!




Entered in the contest; "Mom I'm Pregnant!"
Sponsored by Gwendolen Rix

Key findings
National levels and trends
• In 2006, 750,000 women younger than 20 became pregnant. The pregnancy rate 
was 71.5 pregnancies per 1,000 women aged 15–19.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

The Damage Will Always Be There

The Damage Will Always Be There


I cried,I bleed,And now my heart longer beats the same way it did before I meet you.My heart feel broken,i feel like a rag doll played with over and over again only to be thrown away.I miss your love but now your gone and my hearts ache the most it has ever.There are time's I wonder if  I have been lying to myself,I must be because my heart should fee lighter it should feel like a free winged bird but it not.The damage the cuts the sores they shall be with my from happy time to sad time because you put them there.You who I looked up to you never promised I know but it aches from every thought of you.How come how come I must be alone in this world? It sound selfish but I only want you back to be here beside me and tell me you love me and I'm doing a great job with everything.Why does it hurt to think of you?why does it pain me to want to be lose to anyone?why does everyone leave me behind when I need them the most?why am I so closed up with a stone wall full of hate surrounding my heart?I know it shouldn't be there but do you? In time the cut will heal and the sores shall vanish.But what about the feelings and the damage inflicted upon them will never leave.Yes it sounds so cliche yes you've heard it all before.But really and this is know this is said this is everything I know.The damage is there no matter how much it seems to have healed.

For my grandmother who i lost now 5 years ago Granny i miss you i wish you would have fought for us a little longer then you did.


Details | Free verse | |

Get Off My Back

Washing and drying
Folding and clothing
Scooping and dumping
Hustling and bustling.

I follow my routine
Each tuesday, thursday and friday
Getting all the chores done
On rare occassion one is saved for tomorrow.

Yet, your never satisfied
You try to throw off my pattern
Adding new things that don't swing
While you make empty threats
That I ain't buying.

You may bark all you want,
But you don't got the bite
Even when you put on a mean face
Trying to make everyone bow before you
Just because you think your the boss.

Then you tell me "Wait until you land a job"
"Just see how hard that'll be"
That's only your opinion
Because your work is full of idiots.

So don't push your beliefs on me
You may be experienced 
Yet when it comes to jobs
You don't understand
That all jobs differ.

I'm doing my best
Just like the rest
To find work out there
That's right for me.

As long as I'm happy
Relating to my field
Suiting to my skills
An environment that's just right
Then I've found the ideal job.

I love to relax and have fun,
Pausing the fun button
To get the job done
Then get back to bliss.

I know the time
Check off the chores
On the list in my mind
I get it all done.

Helping you out
Groceries and tasks
I get them done
Multitasking everything
To balance work and pleasure.

You see negatives in life
While I see positives
Think I don't use my head
I use it more than you know.

You see the grass as gray
I see the grass as greener
You see the glass as half empty
I see the glass as half full.

I Rapunzel, You Gothel
Your wrong about me,
Your wrong about people,
Your wrong about jobs.

Learn to loosen up,
Accept the things in life,
Be more appreciative of the people
That surround you that care.

Smash your negativity
With the hammer of positivity
Because I won't put up with it
So just get off my back.


Details | Free verse | |

A Son's Lament

"A Son’s Lament"

Why did you have to leave?
 
I can still feel the warmth of your touch on my cheek.
 
It was a beautiful day so we decided to celebrate.
It was just you and me, and I’ll never forget what we did.
The smiles we shared and the sound of our laughs.
Your laugh, the laugh that echoes in my ears as I dream.
 
Why did you have to leave?
 
That joyous day we shared.
I wish we could have more, just you and me.
No more can I see you, no more days that carefree.
I’m left alone in this world, never again to feel your love.
 
Why did you have to leave?


Details | Rhyme | |

Lamentations

My Sunday School teacher asked me to define/describe lamentations for the beginning of our study in that Book of Scripture.  I can best express myself in rhyme.  While this may sound morbid, it is my definition of the word in a way that it hopefully will be understood and add credence to the study.


LAMENTATIONS

In a little country church
On the south side of town
A funeral was in progress 
There was grief all around

At the front, by the altar
Stood the coffin of a child
A mother wailed with sorrow
To the point of sounding wild

Her moans and sobs, her mournful wails
Touched the hearts of everyone
This mother was lamenting
The passing of her son

Nothing seemed to comfort her
In her state of grief and sorrow
She cried and sobbed and wondered
How she could face tomorrow

Then the pastor, in his gentleness
Eulogized her child
Trying to console her
Yet knowing all the while

That all the words he uttered
Couldn't end her great frustration
There was nothing he could do
To stop her lamentation


	Curtis Moorman
	25 August 2011


Details | I do not know? | |

Her story

Her story

Her story
Was not an ordinary story
But one that was quite odd
That to this day
Shivers 
Crawl down my spine
When I hear it.

It was a warm
Summer day 
With her favorite blue shirt
And jean shorts.

Her beautiful hair
Blew in the wild wind
As she raced home
In the pouring rain.

A man
Offered shelter 
So the rain
Could run away.

A new shirt
She was given 
By this man.

He sat close
With an arm wrapped 
Around her
As he moved his hands.

But she couldn't
Escape his grip,
No
She found herself
Stuck beneath his weight.

How she got away
Was a mystery
Even to her.

She raced home 
With the man trailing behind.

Struggling to her 
Mother's arms
As she quietly whispers,
"I see you have met your father."

Her story was only shared
One time in her life
With her dearest friends,
Never to be mentioned 
To her dear mother.


Details | Rhyme | |

Ethanol

While some enjoy it without any regret,
other's see it as a threat.

I have seen what it can do to a life,
for the victim is my dear wife.

For I know she is not the only one in the world who has endured much suffering,
damn you liquor store or bartender about to serve a rum sling.

She is not the lush with this wretched disease,
but the one that is loved she cannot appease.

I've always said that her ambition to help and assist this poor soul was a waste,
and yet this person cannot be replaced.

The deception, desperation, destruction to ones self would make you ask "why"?,
try to understand it and you'll break down and cry.

It appears now that this person cannot be saved even though she has knocked 
at deaths door,
as hard as this request from me is "this woman you must IGNORE".

Self pity will get you nowhere fast,
the addiction will surely outlast.

Ethanol oh! ethanol another life you have claimed,
you are not a person or living thing that can be blamed.

Why?  is all I can ask about pretty much everything, why?

Do you really want to hear the answer? 

Or the excuse that has destroyed your trust?

You must let go, you must move on,
before all that you are inside is gone.






Details | Rhyme | |

MAY OF '75

It All Started May 2, 1975
The Day This Man 
Took This Woman
To Be His Lawfully Wedded Wife
 
They Saw Their Share Of Struggles,Grief, Hardships,and Strife
But Hand In Hand
They Faced The World
Together
This Man And His Wife
 
The Cards Were Stacked Against Them
An Uphill Battle It Often Seemed
They Did Not Have A Fairytale
But In The End
Love Would Prevail
Between This Woman And This Man
 
Thirty Years They Shared Together
For Richer Or For Poorer
In Sickness And In Health
In Good Times And In Bad
Before This Man Would Pass Away
Right In Front Of His Wife
 
How Would This Woman Go On
Not Knowing What To Do
How To Make A Single Cup Of Coffee
Or Just One Plate Of Food
How Could She Bare Waking Up To An Empty Room 
 
She Grieved Tirelessly
She Often Questioned Why
Why She Had Been Left Behind
This Woman Who For Thirty Years
Had Been This Man's Wife
 
She Had To Find Her Strength Within
And Her Will To Go On
She Had To Comfort Her Children
And Learn To Lean On God
 
Although She Never Stopped Loving This Man
Eventually
She Would Find Peace
Though It Was Not Easy
She Learned To Live Life Without Him
Though It Was Never Part Of The Plan
On That Day In Early May of 1975
When These Two Were Wed
This Man And His Wife
 
Sometimes Things Will Happen
Even Though We Did Not Plan
Things We Can Not Fathom
Things We Will Never Understand
 
The Time Came
Two Short Years Later
When The Doctors Came
And Told This Woman
We Are Sorry
It Is CANCER
 
Now The Children
Of This Man And His Wife
Would Have To Find Their Own Answers
With No Parents Their To Guide Them
Give Them Comfort
Or Advice
They Would Be Left With Their Own Questions
Of How...
And WHY...
 
In Loving Memory of My Mom and Dad- Tiffany Abbott


Details | Free verse | |

If You Do Not Wish to See Me Naked Avert Your Eyes Now

I enjoy walking in the rain,
I enjoy wet
much like men do, yet do not love it
sorry mother- I’m being vulgar again- avert
your eyes now, dear sweet innocent thing
for I did not come from rain but pure man-made sunshine, yes?
The cogs and bolts of it all, no cinnamon red
just the grey, in which you dressed yourself. 


Details | Rhyme | |

I Didn't Know HOw Good I Had It Until I Lost Everything I Owned


I didn't know how good I had it, 
until I lost all that I owned.
I lost my famly, all of my cars 
and even my home.

I tried to live a life according
 to a "good principle."
I let pride get in the way and
 felt rather "invincible."

I once had money, wealth and a lot of fame.
It seemed like everyone around
 me all knew my name.

I feel empty now... afraid.... 
and "at my wit's end."
Everyone. it seems, has left me.
 Even my "close friend.

Jesus... You're the one I know 
that I can call upon.
You make things "right" 
when all seems "wrong."

What you can give to me, 
money could never buy.
I humbly kneel before you Lord, 
with a desperate cry.

PLease help me dear Jesus. 
 I know that you can.
I read in your word that you are; 
"I AM that I AM!"

In YOU... Jesus... can I
 find life's meaning.
Your life for mine, is what I'm now receiving.

You're my best friend whom 
I love so much.
I long for your mercy and peace... 
your "special touch."

You alone can bring true joy that 
fortune could never give.
You brought me hope and peace
 and a reason to live!

By Jim Pemberton
2007


 






Details | Rhyme | |

An Adulterous Situation

An Adulterous Situation I knew of a couple, involved in an adulterous situation. A person involved, claimed that he was a Christian! He told others that he wanted to tell her about the Lord… But this involvement in sin, he couldn’t well “afford!” A “casual” encounter led to the marriage’s destruction. Her husband was so hurt, he could hardly “function.” How could this man think there’s “nothing wrong with it.” “It must be fine.” He thought. “everyone’s doing it!” Jesus has come, that we might have freedom from within! Going to church, doesn’t give us a “license to sin!” God gave us marriage, as a holy and divine covenant! He gave us his word, so that our lives can be abundant! May this be a stern warning to one and all! That which may look attractive, will cause us to fall! If there’s something more from marriage that you desire… Be careful! Your deep passions will burn like a fire! May I encourage you to pray and seek the Lord above! And ask him to build your marriage on his love! Only he can restore everything the enemy has taken! He’ll be with you, when you may feel totally forsaken! Adultery is like a cancer cell… That will eventually destroy! It’ll rob you of the many blessings, that God wants you to enjoy! What God has joined as one... May there be no separation! But a heart of unselfishness, and a renewed dedication! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Lyric | |

Please Dont Let Her Go

The call of a mother
the mean words of her children
the pain that lingers through the years

Her pain suffocates her
dying in a lonely place
waiting to be heard
she turns a lighter color

They try to save her
but their love is not enough
they stand in a white room
waiting for the words 
the words no one wants to hear

Please dont let her go
let her stand oh lord
let her be with us 
let her feel no pain

The lights dimmer

the ceiling falls
their standing underneath the sky
their mother stands before them
she tells them to let go of all the guilt
that has built up for she is safe and okay now

They stand as the light of there mother fades
there alone now standing underneath the black sky


their pain and guilt fades knowing there mother loves them and always will

Dedicated to Granny Helen Caccumise (you were like a mother to me and may you rest in peace)


Details | Rhyme | |

The Older I Am

The Older I Am… It seems like the older I am, with each passing day. There’s someone that I know who “passes away.” I remember as a child, 40 seemed to be “old.” Now, it seems quite young. As I’ve been told. This life that I have is wonderful and God given. He wants to be with me each day that I’m livin. The older I am, the more I begin to see. I need much more of God, and a lot less of me! Whatever path in life that I might choose. Without God in control. I’m going to lose! He’s the one that I need to take control. His word brings nourishment to my soul! His word and commandments need to be obeyed. There’s nothing for HIS LOVE I would ever trade! I thank you my lord for the life I have received. An eternal life with you, I want to achieve! The older I am…The closer I get to my mansion above God has blessed me and given me his eternal love! One more day with Jesus is sweeter than before! No matter my age. I’ll always need him MORE! He is and will always be with me till the end of time. I’m so glad that I am his. And he is MINE! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

What Has Happened To The Family

I remember growing up in a Christian family.
We were content, joyful and quite happy.

Things were "going along rather well."
We loved each other... more than words could tell.

I think of the special love 
between mom and dad.
As my parents... I was proud and glad!

Over the years that rolled  on by.
Something happened.  I don't know why. 

Our deep love became 
replaced with "excuses."
Our relationshps filed with
 "barsh words and bruises."

This family... I once held so close to my heart.
Began to "unravel and fall apart."

Our love for another became bitter and cold.
Even to the day we're "growing old."

Everywhere... it is evident and appearing.
The family as a unit is quickly disappearing.

We must come together and 
remove all bitterness.
And walk in God's love and his forgiveness!

We must appreciate one another--
in spite of our faults!
Standing together on Godly principles 
brings good results!

It we insist on "going our separate ways."
We'll be sorry "one of these days!"

The family is what God has put together.
It needs to be rooted in love--
both now and forever!

HIS love needs to be the glue 
that binds us as one.
Blessing every mom and dad... 
daughter and son!

By Jim Pemberton
2009


Details | Rhyme | |

I've Failed You Once Again

I Have Failed…


Lord, I have failed you time and time again,
By hanging on to my unrepentant sin.
I once thought, “my life will never get off track,”
Until that one day when I committed such a
terrible act.


“No one’s watching me” was what I thought,
not knowing the pain and suffering into my family
I had brought.
That one night of “pleasure” I hoped would go away,
but this sin stares me in the face every single day!

The lust that crept into my once cheerful heart,
Is now eating at me—tearing me all apart.
I once thought I was too good to commit a sin like this,
so many of God’s blessings I now will miss.

To you Jesus—my whole heart I ask you to cleanse.
for in you my whole life now depends.
Create in me a clean heart, renew a right spirit
within me.
Your forgiveness in my life is what others must see.

The most important thing to God I can now give,
Is a broken and contrite heart each day I shall live!


By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Make Your Family FIRST


Make Your Family First! I know a person who had “a change of heart.” And very shortly his family “fell apart.” He was involved in doing “so many things.” He neglected the duty of what family brings! He became so involved in helping others… He neglected his wife and his kids’ mother! At first, he had the best of intentions… But failed to give his family any kind of attention! He was so busy, and away from home so much. It didn’t take long for him to be “out of touch.” Very soon he found his life “way off course…” And heading down the path of a divorce! He began to ask himself the question; “why?” As he began to hear all of his kids cry! Beyond all of the chaos and “chatter.” He decided that his family DOES matter! He quit doing many of the things he once did. And asked all of his family to please forgive! He’s now the kind of dad that he needs to be! And is with his family so faithfully! May this be a lesson and reminder to us all! How quickly we can get up. How quickly we can fall! May we put an effort into our family as number one! Every mom and dad! Daughter and son! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Help

Born into a life of wonder and exploring Her parents she looks up to Curious mind roaring her parent adoring What she doesn’t know her faith she would soon lose Years grew old as the child grown And her father gives her these looks Her mother wonders but should have know In husband mind what cooks Mother works hard day by day Father sits and waits Father and child they play all day But by then it would be late “Daddy please don’t hurt me, get off!” Her voice yells with fright “Only one time I swear” He doesn’t really care Next morning comes she wants to die “Mommy why won’t her breath Close her eyes and you believe me” “Oh, darling why would you lie?” Believe me “why?” cries Days go one and months go by No one believe her she can’t go one She grabs her dad’s gun, she begins to cry That father trust is beyond gone She cocks the gun and holds dreams Pulls the trigger and it bring death And the heaven light beams She was raped and it ended her life Because no one listened to her Her life cut short as if by a knife This happened all the time Just listen to the cry


Details | Rhyme | |

These Are Dificult Times for So Many Without A Job


These Are Difficult Times! These are difficult times, with many frustrations. Many people in hardships and difficult situations! Many are filled with worry and concern. Not really knowing which direction to turn. As more are getting dependent on government. Many without work have lost any kind of fulfillment. While many seek what seems to be the best “plan.” Cries of hopelessness ring throughout the land! I, too, have been without work in the past. Wondering how much longer it would last. The months that went by, turned into years… As I sought assurance for my worries and fears. The only true peace and security I have found. Has brought love, when life came “crashing down.” I found that what really matters the most! Is Jesus! And letting him hold me close! I knew if I lost everything that was around me… God’s presence and peace still surrounds me! He made it very evident and so clear. Whatever happens in life... HE IS ALWAYS HERE! He picked me up when I felt lonely and depressed! With him in my life… I felt comforted and blessed! My problems didn’t disappear in just one day! But through life’s trials… God made a way! Whatever difficulty or problem you may face… Won’t you accept God’s gift of mercy and grace? He can do more than any other power can do! And brings meaning to the words; “I LOVE YOU!” By Jim Pemberton


Details | Lyric | |

Blood of a liar, mark of a thief

You took it all
(I held my breath)
You screamed my name
(as you fell to your death)
The crowed gathered round
but I stood tall
with your body laying so broken
you've never looked so small

The rain started pouring down
(oh how I smiled)
There were sirens in the distance
(only a half a mile)
Down below the screaming sounds
I can't hear a thing
everyone's gaze is upon me
waiting for the once caged bird to sing

(Liar)
You promised me everything
did your words mean nothing
were they empty
lifeless without a theme
(Thief)
You took hold of my heart
shredded my soul, raped my mind
did it mean anything
was I even worth it
ir just another part to your scheme

The rain washes away the evidence
(the blood, sweat, and tears)
But rain can't wash away everythng
(no, not everything)
not the pain suffered through the years

Your words were so sweet
who was I to judge
I fell for your parlor tricks
over the edge with one small nudge
Such a beautiful disguise you wore
silly little me
I fell into your web of lies
far too young to ever see

(Liar)
You promised me everything
did your words mean nothing
were they empty
lifeless without a theme
(Thief)
You took hold of my heart
shredded my soul, raped my mind
did it mean anything
was I even worth it
ir just another part to your scheme

You could have been mine
(does it hurt now, hush, be quiet now)
You sold your soul for a good time
(does it hurt now, hush, don't speak now)
Did you think I'd never know?
(does it hurt now, does it hurt now)
Now you must reap the crop you've sewn

(Liar)
You promised me everything
did your words mean nothing
were they empty
lifeless without a theme
(Thief)
You took hold of my heart
shredded my soul, raped my mind
did it mean anything
was I even worth it
ir just another part to your scheme

(Liar)
You had such a pretty little plan
(Thief)
Carried out by such a careless little man


Details | I do not know? | |

A note goodbye

A note goodbye

A note
Wrapped in an envelope
Flew from under my door
As I grabbed the knob.

No name
No return address
Just a memory 
That will haunt me
Forever.

Ripping this mystery open
Without the slightest bit
Of neatness.

A letter
Is what I pulled from
This case.

Written in perfect cursive
With indication 
Of tears 
Upon the ink.

From my mother
Whom passes away
So many years ago.

"To my dearest daughter,
 Tonight is my last night in this world
The cancer is eating me alive
While I suffer with my hairless head
And my aching body.

 This note will not be discovered
For years to come,
When it is in your hands
Don't not share it with the world.

 I love you, daughter. You were my everything. Never forget that.

               With all my love,
                      Mom"

Tears soon fall upon 
This message,
Smearing all it's words
And love.



Details | I do not know? | |

I just Thought,

People may say that i am a spoiled little brat.
    Only becuase they see what they wan't to see.
   We all have been through things in our life time that we just want to forget, but we just can't  seem to forget.

My mom has put me through many things "but lets not say" in the past.  And i have learned from some of those things.  It made me a stronger person inside and outside. 

  I don't know my father at all. I wasn't even born when my mom was around him.
 But i have a loving family.

I would never change my past even if i had the chance.  Becuase if i did then i wouldn't be 
where i am now.

 People who are out there that are judging people based on how they act or look, are stupid. Wise up and grow up... 
Those people you judge have a GOOD reason for the way they look or act.
 And maybe they need some one there to talk to. To get things off their 
back.

                        Just like the saying. "Don't judge a book by it's cover"



*just something  that i had to say* :)comment if you have a thought (or fav poem if you like it)*


Details | Rhyme | |

When Life Get's TOUGH

I’m here to tell you that when “the going get’s rough…” A simple, “God bless you!” May not be enough! Just when you think things in life are getting you down… And perhaps there’s “not a friend anywhere to be found…” Perhaps… Right now… You find yourself right there! Let me encourage you to try some prayer! Jesus is as close as the mention of his name! With him in control… Things will never be the same! He’ll speak peace to the raging waters of life’s ocean… And will give to you… His 100% “love potion!” He’ll bring peace and healing to your heart and home. He’s always there with you. You’re NEVER alone! The chains of discouragement will simply disappear… His perfect love will cast out all fear! He’ll pick up the pieces of life that are broken... As you allow his words of love and hope to be spoken. He’ll do for you what no power or god can do… He’s here right now He’s waiting for YOU! By Jim Pemberton 04/26/11


Details | I do not know? | |

Everyone dies I just chose tonight

Darkness surrounds her she sits all alone tears streaming down her face
She feels lost the only way to sleep is to cut her porcelain skin 
Crimson dripping down her wrist stuck in sin
She screams give me something to live for 
As she lyes on the floor
She softeneds her tears
Swallows her fears
She drags the blade
Looks down at the mess she's made 
She looks one more time at the picture of her family 
Knowing they won't miss me
So lost 
So desperate for love 
Never felt cared for 
She can't wait to travel to the dead
Feelings she keeps locked in her head
Her screams for help ignored or dismissed 
Why must I suffer what have I done she screams 
She remembers her mommy and how she was ripped away by everyones hero god
Betray me 
Use me
But u will never love me for I am dammed to this place
Empty space
Just leave me here to die 
I'm sick of u seeing me cry
So just say your goodbyes
You'll see me again just six feet underground
For tonight death I have found


Details | Rhyme | |

THE MADNESS OF JOSEPHINE

She wears only a light robe
and doesn't complains it's cold;
may I introduce her to you guys:
her name is crazy Josephine...
she drinks alchool and uses morphine...
what a shame: she a grandmother and tells lies!


Fatter than a cow, she eats cookies
dunked in carnation milk...and laughs as a freak,
or a drag queen showing her silver teeth;
that makes me think: did she ever take down those bullies!


I talked to her and told her to get off that staff immediately,
it doesn't work for her depression and loneliness...
will she heed, or continue doing harm to her body? 
At forty two, she should think of a better existence!  


Let me tell you about the weird personality of Josephine:
she can't cook or make coffee...she only cleans and sings
while Hannessy make her face red and she begins to dance
whispering, " Hi, sweety...hand me some of that ovaltine!"


Mad, mad Josephine, don't seduce me with your flamboyant charm,
I couldn't  lie in bed with you, not even for a moment and whisper romantic words;
it would definetely kill any sexual desire even when the room is calm...
please go somewhere else, and find a boyfriend who won't close his eyes and arms.


Details | Lyric | |

The Stone

I think i might write a letter
to someone that i havent
talked to in a while
Ill lay it beside her stone
the stone i brought for her
when i was really young
Ill wait until she writes back
Falling asleep on the cold ground
Waking up in the fog


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear God I Don't Want To Be DEPRESSED Anymore

My mind seems to be going
 "in every direction."
I often wander if I'm going
 through a depression.

The people I once loved...
 I love no more.
Life seems to be so "dry."
Rather "a bore."

My life seems to be 
"turned upside down"
There's no one to help.  
Nobody around.

Will you... God... listen 
to my call?
And accept me... 
Faults and all?

I know that you're listening
 to my desparate plea.
To love someone 
as lowly as me.

Thank you Lord for 
helping me along.
In your arms of mercy... 
 Is where I belong!

By Jim Pemberton
2007


Details | Rhyme | |

Tears Fall from Heaven

You're not here today.
You won't be here tomorrow.
Life as it was,
Is now poisoned with sorrow.
Gone so young,
Never had a chance.
All i have to remember,
Is the look on your innocient face,
At my last glance.
Why my child, why them?
It just doesn't seem fair.
I wish i could open my eyes, 
And see him still standing there.
Seconds, minutes, hours, they slowly pass by.
I'm becoming so empty inside, so little tears left to cry.
Now when i call you for dinner,
You won't come, you never will.
And when i tell you to pick up your room,
You won't, it's impossible.
Hugs and laughs all out the door.
This loneliness inside, is too hard for me too ignore.
You can no longer tell me "I love you." or give me a kiss.
You had so much to live for.
You didn't deserve to die like this.
My child, my love, everything that i lived for,
Disapeared so fast, never suffered a loss like this before.
Tears fall from heaven, i know you see.
You're still the angel in my heart, and i know you're looking down upon me.
And i know you're telling me, "Mom stop crying, i love you, but it's just too late,
But i'm still safe mom, don't worry, I'm protected behind gods gate."

*I wrote this poem in dedication for a teenage boy who was shot in my school. Him and his friend were simply playing with a real gun, unaware that it was loaded, and his friend shot him in the face. The boy died that day. I'd like to make people aware about how dangerous leaving lethal weapons around can be.


Details | Free verse | |

The Ugliest Girl in the World

I’m the ugliest girl in the world
I hide on the outside
With make up
With curls
When I’m thin people like me
Congratulations!
What an achievement
For abandoning myself
When I’m fat, people like me
Ugliness peeks through
So witty!
So smart!
So talented!
Thank god she’s fat!
In between
Mother says with mother bias
What a pretty face
Father says with male bias
I’m an 8 out of 10
Thanks, Dad
Lovers know what I want to hear
But won’t say
It will seem false
It will be false
After all
I am the ugliest girl in the world

Lovers compliment others
Words never said to me
For I am ugly
If I had the right kind of knife
I’d carve an X into my face
Diagonal
Right to left
Diagonal
Left to right
X-ed out
Then there would be no question
It’s the wondering that kills me

Maybe, maybe it doesn’t matter
Maybe, maybe I’m pretty
This woman lives in me, somewhere
Battling my ugly
Battered by my ugly
In me, two people who despise each other
No one sees my wounds
Agonizing wars, b*tches brawl
If I had the right kind of knife
I’d cut them right out of my chest
Leaving a void
Where the pain was
A void
My ugly pain
MY ugly
Where would I be without my ugly?


Details | I do not know? | |

The mother I want

The mother I want

Mom!
Just say you love me!
I have never heard these words come for your lips,
Grasp me when i cry,
All you do is stare,
Am I a freak to you?

I just want a mother!
All these years I've tried my damn hardest to make you proud and happy
But I never succeeded.

Look mom!
I'm actually a "someone"!
I have talents,
Hear me play music,
Listen to these words I write to you,
What my arrows fly through the air!

Mom!
Please!
I'm your only daughter,
I'm not as beautiful as most women
Or as amazing,
But look at me, mom!

Am I an inconvenience to you?
Say the words and strike my heart,
Forever I will be lost in this world,
Without anyone.

I love you mom,
Silence,
Bye "mom".


Details | Bio | |

Mommy Dearest

                             So many nights I layed and cried.
                               Longing to have you in my life.
    But, everytime is always the same, you always leave me the blame!
            So many times because of you I have wanted to die.
                             Yes! I contemplated my suicide!
                       Anytime I have needed you by myside,
                                 you tuck tail and hide.
             You always have told me you wished I was never born.
                          Well, guess what I was born.
                I never asked to be brought into this world,
 So many times you have made me cry because, of all the things you have said and tried.
               So many times you have pushed me to that edge,
                       to where I wished I was dead!
           I always wondered how you would act if I was dead!
 You say that I am dead to you,well maybe I should make your dream come true!
      Maybe I should just end it all right now and comit suicide and go to hell.
         If I get to hell before you do, I will save you seat in the front two! 
    So, keep playing your childish games for I am going to remain the same. 
      So  Mommy Dearest, how would feel if I were to end it all right here!
                              Oh, wait Mommy Dearest!
You would not care for you are not amother just a worthless piece of air!


Details | I do not know? | |

How Many

How many times will I be wrong before I am right?
How many of my days will be overcome by night?
How many of my sunny days be turned into rain?
How many pills would it take to stop my pain?
How may tears do I shed to bury my sorrow?
How many of my nights will have a tomorrow?
How many screams will it take for me to be heard?
How much longer will my future be blurred?
How many years will I cry over my mother?
How long will it take for me to trust another?


Details | Free verse | |

No Mommy

Sleep tight, 
Without fear, 
There are no monsters, 
Under here. 
No, mommy, 
They fill my head, 
When darkness comes, 
And I'm in my bed. 
Oh, child, 
How sweet you are, T
hat imagination, 
Will take you far. 
No, mommy, 
My dreams are true, I
f only, 
You had a clue. 
Darling boy, 
I see it all, 
Now go to sleep, 
I'll be down the hall. 
No, mommy, 
Why can't you see? 
In the end, 
You'll kill me. 
In a week, 
You'll be mad, 
And tell me, 
That I've been bad. 
You'll take a knife, 
Slit my throat, 
But in my dreams, 
I'll escape by boat. 
Oh, silly boy, 
The things you think, 
You can't escape, 
That boat will sink. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Dark Light

 Sometimes I feel like falling,
 Or drowning in the rain,
Sometimes I feel like cutting,
To see her face again.
The Shadows of a darker mind,
Twist, confuse and lie,
I never did understand why she had to die,
I see her face in haunting dreams,
Or looking back at me,
She seems to root me to the ground,
When all I want is to flee.
Her morbid beauty chases me,
Like vulchers around meat,
Her stone cold ear upon my chest,
To cocxe my finel beat,
Amogst this all is one smart ray,
A dimond in the mist,
That hold me close to take away,
The razor at my wrist,
The dark and light confuse my brain,
There never ending war,
Mother I love you and always will,
But James I love you more. 


Details | Elegy | |

Little Boy

Oh please little boy, please don't cry
Mommy went away
Daddy's here to stay
Please little boy, I love you so
Mommy's coming back
She didn't go!
Oh please little boy don't go away
Mommy will cry
While we go play
Please little boy won't you stay?
Gone forever
Still this day


Details | Monorhyme | |

REBELLION AND LOYALTY

In the restless fifties, teens had to face many realities:
join the draft and go to war or rebel and bear absurdities,
the neutral ones stayed in college and avoided penalties;
oh for God's sake, why should any youngster fight enemies?
Hippies rebelled against the government and shouted obscenities;
they wanted to smoke pot, make love and have lots of babies.
When Motherland calls her soldiers, there are no certainties...
either you fight to survive, or you surely die without strategies.
All mothers cried as they departed to meet their destinies;
did anyone hear them whispering those rules to assure safeties? 
The young soldiers did, not discarding hopes and possibilities.
The Vietnam War was a long one, stretching into the seventies;
many didn't return, some did to enjoy serenities and liberties...
and proud they were to have served well, shunning insecurities.


Details | Rhyme | |

Old Chistmas Cards

Christmas was over  
the cold winter winds
blew and blew
the sadness grew.

Mother had passed
A time dreaded for 
ever so long.
I tried ever so hard 
to be strong.

I walked into her home
where she once gathered
her most precious belongings
Wher my small bare foot steps
did once roam.

Though safe within it's walls
her belongings just 
collected much dust.
It was a place I 
had once learned
to trust.

Now she's gone
who will treasure
these dusty dirty things.

No where to be found
gems or diamond
or saphire rings.

I gazed around
where oh where,
do I start first.
Then into tears 
I encontrollably burst.

I first approached 
a tall brown dresser
mirror intact, 
while polish it lacked.

I pulled open
the small drawers
I was amazed to see
many and many
old candy boxes
and handkerchifs three.

The first, a stack
get well and 
old christmas cards
in tied tightly  
wrapped ever so neatly.

What on earth 
was she thinking
I blurted.
My most swift thoughts
came outwardly leaking.

Then I opened another 
dusty dreawer to find 
a smaller gold and red box. 
Could it hold a diamon ring
I gasped as I 
slowly opened it.
My thought did sing.

There, another
whole section
of old cards
among another green
and yellow box.

My memory burst
I'd received these 
from family
when I had chicken pox.

There was one from
my maw, another from
Aunt ada, and Uncle harry.
 
Even one from my classmates
with the one on top from
the cute boy named Larry.

Then I strumed the
cards as a guitar
playing an familiar
old song. So many
I recogonized.
The names 
were of many
persons lost 
family member or even
a departed decesed friend.

I suddenly knew 
just what she 
had been thinking
With each card
each broken vase
a sad or happy memory
no one ever could repace.

She'd tucked away 
each for obsurvance 
for a future a rainy day.

I knew what she 
of my life  
now a missing part.

She safely kept
each memory
she held once in her heart 
tied as neatly there,
as the old cards 
in the lovely red candy 
box All kept instore.
 
Each she kept snuggly
in her dresser drawer
I held them now my heart
And sit along where she too
once searched for 
old memories, to recall once more.

Linda Terrell
November 14, 2009


Details | Rhyme | |

Second Chance

I've done all I can
To show you this is my life.
I'm trying to talk to you,
We can't leave this at a strife.

I'm not the perfect daughter,
But speak to me, please.
I'm not meant to be trapped,
I'm meant to feel free.

How can you do this,
Choose a guy over your own daughter?
I can't picture you as my mom,
I only see you as my biological mother.

I'm not being disrespectful,
I'm being honest and truthful.
Isn't that how you raised me?
No, that was only to be fearful.

You don't understand how I feel,
What I think of myself.
Let me paint you a mental picture,
A prisoner in a cell.

I feel like a ball of yarn with no cat;
Worthless.
I feel like I'm under water, drowning;
Hopeless.

I feel like a shell with no snail;
I feel empty.
Tell me where to go,
Not who to be.

Something went wrong here,
Something's not right.
Maybe it was the change of season,
It threw us out of line.

Don't look at goodbye
As a "never again."
Look at it more
As a second chance.


Details | Rhyme | |

Our Heavenly Father's Love


Our Father's Love... Many don't think about their heavenly father's love. And forget about his mercy, grace and love. That day when God's son was to die. His tender heart begin to bleed and cry. The wondrous love that God demonstrated. A plan of salvation has been orchestrated. Are you of the many who follow him? Where you can find an atonement for your sin. He patiently waits for you this very day. And loves you much more than words can say. This moment in time... With your heavenly father can be spent. Lay your every burden at his feet. And repent. Though your sins be as black as scarlet... They can be white as snow. His precious blood can wash you clean and make you whole! You will walk away from guilt and shame. The day you bow and call on Jesus' holy name! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

So Tiny

The thoughts of you, brings tears to my eyes. The tiny eyes, that I'll never get to look into. The tiny hands, I'll never get to hold. My heart breaks, when I think about, the tiny heart I'll never get to feel, the tiny voice I'll never get to hear, the tiny body I'll never get to hold closely. So tiny, So small. but our love for you, so strong.


Details | Rhyme | |

Flee Immorality And Seek God's Purity



Flee Immorality And Seek God’s Purity! God’s word says to “flee from sexual immorality.” And to seek HIS wholesomeness and purity! It reminds us that our flesh “wars against our soul.” From every temptation, we must let go! With each day, there’s a battle that rages on… It’s a battle for doing what is right or wrong! God’s word must be the moral compass for our direction. We need to seek his word for much needed correction! We need to present our lives as pure to God above… And seek to be filled with his goodness and love! We need to be filled with things virtuous and good. We ought to live as a follower of Christ should! We must run fast from the “sinful traps” we encounter! We need to seek his holiness, majesty and power! God wants for each of us HIS very best! All ungodly things in our life need to be “put to rest!” God’s will in each of us, needs to be our goal! For only Jesus can truly make us complete and whole! Why not allow God’s to give you peace and contentment? And give him your life with a 100% commitment? By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Is Your Life Running On EMPTY

Is your life running 
on empty fumes?
Are the adversities and stress
 of life being consumed?

Any zeal and passion for God
 may be in the past…
You wonder; “How long is life
 going to last???”

Perhaps you feel like your
 anchor’s “been lost at sea…”
And ask; “Lord…  
Why is this happening to me?”

Things in life often
 catch us “unaware…”
You may ask; “does anyone
 out there really care?”

There is someone who
 can help you along!
In Jesus’ arms of mercy
 is where you belong!

He walked this earth and 
calmed the sea of Galilee…
He’ll calm the storms
 of life for you and me!

Won’t you give him a chance... 
 To calm your fears?
And allow his love to
 wipe away any tears?

He’ll bring peace to a
 hopeless situation…
All you need to do… 
 Is to give him an invitation…

The choice is yours…  
It’s your decision to make!
Won’t you do it now?  Before it’s too late???

By Jim Pemberton  
01/18/10







Details | Rhyme | |

I Pray For My Children

 

I Pray For My Children… As a parent, having raised my kids.. I wanted to be a good example in how I lived. Disappointments and failures… I’ve had my share! I still love them and will always care! I didn’t want to “run away,” like many do… I want to be there to tell them; “I love you!” I did my best to give them a God given dedication… And to help them in a Bible based education. Now the years have passed and my kids are grown… Very soon, they’ll all be out of the home. I pray for God’s blessing in their days ahead. May the Bible be their source of “daily bread.” I pray that the Lord will guide their every step… May a love for God in their hearts be kept! Lord, please keep them from evil and harm… And keep them safe and secure in your arms! I pray that one day in heaven, I will see.. All my kids with me... For eternity! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Who to Turn to?

"Who to turn to?"

Walking on a sidewalk
in downtown New Orleans.
Night is the worse time to be out.
A father coming from work,
a long day at the office, he just wants to be home.
In just a matter of minutes,
a life is taken during a drive-by.

A little boy, and his mother, wait at home.
Waiting for daddy to arrive,
so they can all have dinner.
An hour passes by.. two hours, then three.
Where is he? Did something happen?

As soon as she goes to call the police
a knock is pounding on the door.
"Hi, I'm Officer Williams. I'm afraid I have bad news."
She knew at that moment
that her life was over.
Her love, her best friend,
was gone.
Who will she turn to?
To talk to when she's got a problem,
to lean on when she needs a shoulder.
Who will she turn to?


Details | Free verse | |

Honor Thy Parents

`Honor thy father and mother` ~Ten Commandments it is She who has given birth to me, it is He who has worked to raise me, it is They who have given me life and kept me alive. I should be expressing my eternal gratitude, My undying respect and sworn obedience, yet what do I do? Their kindness and love, I forsake, Their faces, weary from working to support me, I curse at, The loyalty, respect and gratitude they deserve, I forget. I bury myself with guilt, I don`t know how to ask forgiveness, I find it hard to express my feelings with honesty. I have at least filial piety, Obligated by nature and by God, to honor my parents. Yet till now I always curse them when I don`t mean to, I answer back before I stop my cursed mouth, and I don`t give them to honor they deserve. I am the worst daughter, I have the best parents, I cry myself to sleep.


Details | Free verse | |

Accept My Hugs

How could I sense when people are in need of hugs? 
I always had that loving heart
Now what happened to it? 

I'm in big trouble...ragged with loathe 
My hugs don't hold the same feelings
It chokes the living from their shelter
It makes them weak...I slowly swelter 

If I offered you a hug, 
Will you accept it
Or leave me hanging there? 

How could I sense when people are in need of hugs? 
I always have had that loving heart
Now what happened to the love that shields us all?
How did this horrid situation tear us all apart? 

My hugs hold no importance...lacking desire
It only feeds the fire
Not the helpless in heart 
It clusters annoyance in the soul 

If I offered you a hug, 
Will you accept it? 
or leave me hanging there? 
Now I'm lustered in wrath...

I fear that dad will lose you 
Just over a single hug given by him...
Your affectionate embraces feel so grim 
Restrain from losing yourself
Accept his hugs that hold such guiltless charity

Free from faithless arguments...don't hold on to worthless words

If he offered you a hug, 
Will you accept it
Or leave him hanging there in the freezing cold?

His hugs aren't sold
Like a piece of perishable gold
To an ignorant form just like you
It holds freedom...it's all true 

If he offered you a hug, 
Accept them and appreciate his offer
Because he doesn't dwell on the negativity
Feel free to say your last goodbyes
But, remember us as our family departs...and dies

If He offered you a hug, 
Will you accept it
Or leave Him hanging there in the freezing cold
Without His healing arms
Cradling you and your family throughout the furious night? 

If he offered you a hug, 
Will you accept it
Or leave him hanging there? 

It wouldn't be a dissappointment
If you would willingly
Accept his hugs

We would be drowning with excitement
If you would certainly
Accept OUR hugs


Details | Free verse | |

Wounded

Lonely and alone, single now with the children my only comfort and yet a reminder.
The divorce a tug of war between me and her for what once was mine, I thought.
My heart lies languid and still a deep dark mountain pool, without flutter or ripples.
The waves and white water emotions will come flooding in after dark.
Our little ones must not glimpse in me the ugly cuts and scars of your infidelity. 
 I force myself into our once cramped now too empty bed.
 I can now cry quietly in solitude for love and affection like a wounded animal.
I silently scream to be touched, to be reached for, and to be desired.
I miss you I still love you I would forgive you I still want you, Joe where are you?
I hide in the shadows of my despair, dream of killing her, torturing painfully and slowly?
I’ll be gouging out her eyes with one degrading glare a smile and a snicker.
I’m gutting her slowly with only the nightly beckoning of my little finger.
A tryst in the Sykes parking lot in the back seat of our car inches from your son’s safety seat.
Pass a silent gift a potential killer and ruin her womanhood and child bearing potential, almost taking her life.
Rip apart her family with whispered AM phone calls and PM come hither stares.
Strip her self-esteem and ego depositing them without remorse in a blender set to puree.
I would do to her all that she has done to me and more, I am lonely, alone, single now and only them to thank.
  

                                                                 Summer Gratias


Details | Rhyme | |

Rape

You promised to respect me
and never decieve
you told me that you loved me
and i let myself believe
you invited me to the party
and at first i told you no
but then you said common
and insisted that i go
not thinking much about it
my second thoughts grew
but they were quickly lost
when i walked in after you
i knew something was wrong
when i kept falling on the floor
i wasnt really thirsty
but said to drink some more
and so i did
slowly handing you my fate
with absolutly no idea
that i would soon get raped
running into walls
as you led me up the stairs
the door up there had opeded
as people came out in pairs
i fell over laughing
everything started to spin
i continued to crawl
but i had i bad feeling within
as soon as i reached the top
you pushed me in the room
letting myself fall
as i slowly approached my doom
you threw me on the bed
with such force i never knew
i tried to scream for help 
but it was just us two 
i was just so scared
and there was no one else around
as you put your hand on my mouth
and said dont you make a sound
trying to push you off
wondering why you did me wrong
but every attempted failed
you were just too strong
i was squirming around and screaming for help
but it was already too late
with my useless crys and helpless sighs
i was getting raped


-Spencer Coggsdale     dedicated to Jose Galvan


Details | Free verse | |

Hold On To Your Hats

I started out the day
Pacing the floors
I couldn't believe it , 
Three week ends in a row

I fed the squirrels and birds
Then grabbed my purse and coat
Headed for the garage
And in the van I got

Oh shoot! It says I need gas
I won't be deterred
I'll stop at the station 
Then it's down the road for me

I've only got 2 hours and 15 minutes
To get to the movie I choose
Can I possibly make it
If I stop for Chinese food?

Which route do I take
Haysville or Clearwater
Think I'll go through Haysville
To see if that old horse is still alive.

Yes, there he is "Poor Old Thing"
And I think I've got back problems
If my back was that sway back
I'd need to push a wheelbarrow to keep my belly in tact.

It's 11:00 o'clock now
And I'm three quarters there
The Chinese place 
Is just over there..

If I can eat in 30 minutes
I'll be able to make it
I can take the outer roads
To avoid some of the traffic.

I made it to the movie
And had no sooner sat
When someone sat down beside me
And on my shoulder tapped.

Sitting there beside me
Was grand daughter number 4
She was home from college
And just had to explore.

We did enjoy the movie
As the people followed clues
From the President's Book
To find the city of gold.

As we departed
They followed me to my car
Just to make sure I made it that far..

I sat and read my Christmas Cards
To let the traffic slack
Trying to decide
Which trail home I'd take.

Finally settling on the route
It'd be through Derby town
It was important for you see
This was the closest McDonald and my ice tea.

I arrived home without any fuss
Now Mother Nature I am set
For the new confinement you impose
Of some more Ice and snow.

I know this poem
Seems rather crude
But you see 
That happens to be my mood.

Foot Note:  Mother Nature got her way. Saturday we had a howling  blizzard most 
of the day.  And it ended with a beautiful red sunset.  No Church today and  they 
talk like more snow and rain for the next  five days.  And then more for next 
weekend.  That will be 4 weekends in a row.  We call it Kansas weather. And you 
wonder why my moody poem.


Details | Free verse | |

fetus

every feeling, every thought
cursing through these veins
cut off by the blood clot
i don't miss these growing pains
you taught me to love
you taught me to hate
when push came to shove
i could always relate
every feeling every thought
i was your fetus
i was your blood clot
and now look at us
full of self pity, self doubt
i hate you, I HATE YOU
for everything i'm about
what is it? i didn't do?
the feeling the thought
one year away
from doing everything i wasn't taught
what is it? i didn't say? a part of me is always you, it's always 'us'
its's every feeling, it's every thought
find another fetus
find another blood clot


Details | Rhyme | |

only ONE listener

My mother tried to kill herself
But I could only wonder why
'cause anytime I ask her
She huffs and puffs and sighs

I would assume its because
Her life was really rough
Or because she feels guilty
For the way she damaged us

I grew up with fear
That everything would hurt me
All because my mother
Would hit me when I was thirsty.

Now I'm an adult
Who suffers from anxiety
I get nervous when people talk too loud
Because I'm so used to her screams at me

If someone slams a door
My heart starts to pound
Because when she would get angry
She'd slam the door and stomp the ground

Then eventually
That will lead
To me and my siblings
Obtaining her beatings

At the time, that was life for us
We didn't know much
We thought that was real love.

So I grew up
And Hit the ones I loved
Thinking that's how you show someone
Love; Through a punch.

Now that I'm finally starting to see the truth
My depression is getting worse
Because my conditioning is a fluke.

Now I must
Condition my self
to become
something so different

And if I don't
I'll end up alone
The devil is here
He's the only one who's listening


Details | I do not know? | |

Grandma's old ring

Grandma's old ring

Everyday grandma put on
A diamond ring
With words engraved 
On the back.

I never got a chance to see these words
For they were always hidden.

I built up courage 
To ask my beloved grandmother about this beautiful ring,
Her crystal eyes filled with tears
As a knot tied in my stomach,
"This ring was given to me by your grandfather,
My husband,
Before he was killed in war.
I've kept it for many years as a memory."

She took this jewel off her frail hand
And with a swift motion 
Set it down on a table.

Crying tears of agony
She rest her head 
On my shoulder.


Details | Rhyme | |

We're Greatly Influenced By Society


We’re Greatly Influenced By Our Society We’re greatly influenced by our society. Our culture comes in many types of “varieties.” Often, there is a wicked and sinful force.. As people forget God, and look to another “source.” Too often, many in society have “confused” minds. Evil and perversion come in many different kinds We often read in the news just about every day. Something that another “confused” mind has to say. “Where did this person go wrong?” Is wondered. Another family or person is “torn and plundered.” “If my people humble themselves, and repent of their ways.” “I will heal their land!” This is what God says! Without God as the focus of our life’s attention. We’re sure to go “off course.” Into the wrong direction. “There is a way that seems right.” “But the end is death.” This is a truth of God’s word… Until your last breath! Jesus is the answer to any kind of difficult situation. We desperately need him all across our nation! Only he brings the love and fulfillment we need to obtain. We can find everything we need in HIS precious name! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Let's Keep Marriage STRONG


Let’s Keep Marriage Strong! In marriages, we often fail to Be take time to communicate… To be honest with each other… Truthful and straight! In each other… We need to look for the BEST! And not treat each other like a “pest.” We don’t need to speak words that’ll cause harm… But to love each other with an opened arm! May we serve one another with compassion and love! Knowing we were brought together from God above! Just think about the first day you were wed… Remember the words; “I love you” were often said! We need to keep marriages together no matter the cost! Divorce leads to so much tragedy and a huge loss! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Are You Discouraged Feel Like Giving Up Without A Job


It was me that my
savior chose...
He’s supplied all my needs—
my food and clothes. 

He was there when I was
laid off from work.
Satan was saying, 
“you’re no good—just a jerk.” 

I admit; “my accomplishments—
I do not boast.”
But I do exalt the Father,
the Son and Holy Ghost. 

If not for God’s love,
I’d be dead, this I know.
This is the reason why
I love him so! 

He’s done so much for me—
it’s hard to express.
The privilege of being God’s son—
I am so blessed! 

I was a clay jar all broken apart,
But the potter put me together
from his heart. 

The glue he used was his
love for me,
That’s why I’m happy
and set free! 

This I know and hope
you’ll understand,
He’ll do the same for you—
just reach out your hand! 


By Jim Pemberton
2005


Details | I do not know? | |

Want more

What more can i do?
I couldn't do it alone.
And now that im free from it all,
I still want more answers...


Details | I do not know? | |

To Shermane

U SAID DNT WORRY BOUT U CUZ U'LL B FINE

N U DNT WANNA C FEAR 4 U N MY EYES

U KNO I CANT HELP IT BUT SEEIN ME STAY STRONG HELPS U GO ON

I KNO THAT U NEVER STAY DOWN THERE'S NO BATTLE U HAVENT WON

BELIEVE IT OR NOT UR MY STRENGTH, UR MY DRIVE

I WISH U CAN B AROUND US ALL THE TIME

SEEIN U SMILE MAKES ME SMILE 2

SEEIN U HURT MAKES ME HURT 2

N DATS CUZ WEN UR N PAIN THERE'S NUTHIN I CAN DO

I HAVE 2 WATCH U GO THRU UR PHASE

IT MAKES ME GO INSANE 

2 SEE MY MOTHER GO THRU SUCH A THING

ITS OVERWHELMIN N IM STRESSIN

I SIT N THINK Y DO U HAVE 2 GO THRU THIS

AND IM TRYIN MY BEST 2 SWALLOW THIS

Y DO THINK IM ALWAYS AT HOME?

I DONT WANNA HANG WIT MY FRIENDS CUZ I DONT WANNA LEAVE U ALONE

U R SUCH A INSPIRATION 

U NEVA SHOW UR N PAIN SO NO ONE WILL EVA KNO UNLESS U SHARE IT WIT DEM

I THINK ANYONE WHO SICK N HAS KIDS SHOULD SHARE IT WIT DEM

TELL UR KIDS EVEN AT A YOUNG AGE

SO THEY WILL KNO THERE'S A CHANCE DEY'LL NEVA C U AGAIN

U TAUGHT ME ABOUT ILLNESS 

U TAUGHT ME ABOUT DEATH

SO I KNEW WAT DEY WERE I JUS COULDNT ACCEPT IT

NOT MY MAMA NOPE NOT HER!

SHE'S SUPERWOMAN N NUTHIN CAN HARM HER


Details | I do not know? | |

how could u

how could u leave me with just my innocence
how could i was just a baby
how could u forget all about me 
how could u not take me with u
how could u just sit there and help not help me
how could u throw him away i hate u for that
how could u say he dont love me 
how could u let me not have nothing to do with him
how could u leave me with only little memories of u 
i cant stand it i hate u both of u for everything if u would have takein me i could of
avoided all of the crap that has become of my stupid painful life


Details | I do not know? | |

Stress and Pain

One big happy said fairytale
Take the pain and no gain
Take the slights and not retribution
Take it all in without an out.

Exploding from the inside out
In silence, crying, hurting, writhing in pain and misery
Never knowing what it’s like to be just okay
Never knowing what it’s like to have love unconditional

Hated and revered 
Don’t show them the pain 
They don’t understand,
You are the one that is in wrong. 

Take it all 
Deal with it
Live with it
It’s your fault he’s like this

You carried him
You made him the way he is. 
Deal with the pain and suffering
Deal with the stress and the dirty looks

It’s always your fault 
No one else’s 
You should know that by now. 
Take you punishment and like it

God’s listening but this is his plan
Pain and suffering for those that screw up
No love for those that dare to be of a different mold. 
No salvation for the wicked souls of men

Shut it up 
Swallow it down
No one cares
No one’s around

No tears will make a difference
No whining will help the cause
No yelling will change people’s minds
No matter what you do you won’t be accepted


So….why try? 
Be yourself no one else
If they don’t like to hell with them
To hell with you and your self loathing


Details | I do not know? | |

Homocides

I Wake up in the morning hearing gunshots and people screaming I rush
towards my window and see another innocent victim lying on the ground
dead
I look to my right and see another family mourn over a love one they lost
Seeing the whole block glancing at the murder scene
And when I took a look at the body I saw a young man with gunshots
wounds across his body
My eyes started to fill with angry and tears because I’m tire of all these
homicides
Because it got me traumatize seeing too many fratricides and patricides
People need to put the guns down and start loving one another because
things will get a lot better
Young black males are getting killed because they be throwing up the
wrong gang sign or they were at the wrong place at the wrong time
Hanging with their friends at the party having fun
And everything is going well until a disagreement comes along and now
bullets start to spread like a virus killing a lot of innocent ones
Some is crawling for their life to safety while others are calling 911 for
help
And by the time the cops and ambulance arrive the victims are deceased
these young thugs are ending people lives before they can start their lives
Babies are entering the world already seeing cold bodies lying beside them
feeling death before they can pronounce the word
Living in a world full of confusion black men killing their brothers and
sisters like they’re the enemies
While the true enemies hide behind you in the crowd
People are going crazy going on a rampage walking into a theater and
killing millions of people because they are hurt and anger at the world
I’m sick and tire of seeing homicides poor little babies resting in their early
graves didn’t even taste or smell life
Didn’t even reach their full potential of becoming a young man or woman
Didn't have a chance to speak their first words to their mother or father
   
Death is no jokes I hate to see people play with it attempting suicide trying
to kill their self like it want affect others
Sitting in my room just listening to the commotion that’s uprising on the
outside
Hearing gunshots now I’m running outside to see the outcome will a
mother or father be without their daughter or son for the rest of their lives
or will they survive and live on
But when I finally got outside it was another coldblooded murder another
lost soul another mother and father losing their child to a single bullet
through the head
Now its time to get the funeral arrangements and print out obituaries it’s
sad to see the scene of a homicide
I wonder how many more will we have until the people gets the message
that the guns is not the answer to your problem


Details | Free verse | |

I wish that it was

Mommy and Daddy are at it again
Daddy's yelling at Mommy 
Calling her a slut then hitting her
I keep wishing and wishing 
For the loud noises to stop
I cry and I pray
Why do they fight
it's scary
I wish it would stop
I try to think of happy thoughts
I want to go to a place
With no yelling or fighting
I keep crying as if the world going to end
Mommy came to my room
Her cheek was red
Her hand had blood on it
Mommy started to cry while she hugged me
Mommy told me what Daddy did to her
Then Mommy told me she killed Daddy
The police came
They took Mommy away from me
I cried and yelled and screamed
Mommy smiled and said it's for the best
I just wish that it was


Details | Free verse | |

Why Mother

Why did you do this to us
Why did you cheat on Father
What did the other family have that we don't 
Do they know you like we do
We love you 
You can still come back to us
We all will forgive you
Even Father would 
If he was alive
He killed himself because the loss of you
Was too unbearable
That's how much he loved you
He loved you more than us
Please Mother
Will you come back to us
Father commited suicide for crying out loud
We're all scared
We're all alone
We need someone
We need a mother
We need you
But
It's your fault he died
Don't you care at all
We're about to go to an orphanage
Our little family is going to split apart because of you
On second thought
You will never be forgiven
You never loved him
You never even cared about us did you
You know what
I hope you have a horrible life
I hope you feel guilt at what you did
We don't need you
Not anymore
Your not apart of my family
Not now
Not ever


Details | Rhyme | |

What you are made up to be

foolish within that shows through the skin, you're hopeless but hoping for the worst for me. I don't care for you, and never will. You will see when you burn in hell, in the future near you'll see that I wasn't the one wrong, so don't try to be sincere. You think it's all about you, when the truth is no one wants anything to do with you. You've already over thought it all, and now you're all alone starring at the wall. I bet you realize now that the pain you feel you caused yourself. Within in all, comes the suffering of withdraw. All the pills that you've swallowed won't save your sorrow.


Details | Rhyme | |

No ones to blame, that your soul is put to shame

I don't understand, how i'm blame to be the biggest sin the world can see. you're little tall tails, you try and make the people believe are all hopeless, just like the heart inside of you beats. i'm breathing like i always do, i'm not gonna miss a single breath over you. when you're the one, that's suppose to be here for me, even when death captures the life of me. sadly, you're mistaken, for the life you've overtaken. the life of a drugged out temptresses is not a life to lead, thats why you aren't my example of the future to me. i don't want to be the one that is always the one to plead, for money, for sex, for looks, oh you're something i've learned to not be from those certain books. you weren't there for me to write, when you were suppose to be, the introduction author about the life of me. the life of me, how interesting can that be? well, i must say, you helped me be able to write about a girl who has been terribly betrayed. where's my mother, the one whose suppose to be like none other? you gave me no one, but myself to look up too.


Details | Free verse | |

I Witnessed a Drowning

As soon as he was gone she changed. 
As in never the same. As in 
she’d gone through a complete mental breakdown 
and I had front row seats to the worst show of my life.
Six bullets took my brother one night, 
and they took a part of my mother with them as well, 
because every time I looked up, 
her eyes had tears, 
her nose was red, 
and her face was blank. 
She’d look away and “sorry”
seemed to be the only word that I could say. 
I could never say that everything would be okay 
because day to day everything was different 
and day to day I walked behind her, 
leaving footprints in the train of tears she left behind, 
waiting for her to crumble, and ready to catch her. 
Though she was too heavy for me to hold, 
I still felt the responsibility to cushion her downfall 
and it happened often, but that, that was all I could do. 
After that, I had to watch her descend into complete darkness 
and sometimes she was gone for weeks without any word. 
Not one word. 
She was physically present, yes, but her mind was gone 
and I watched my mother sink deep into the cold abyss of depression 
and not even try to get to the surface. 
She’d float with an expressionless face 
And eyes that stared into nothing.
I have no doubt that she was searching for him. 
But did she find him?
I can never know, but can’t help but wonder. 
This was my childhood. 
Most of it was spent wondering and waiting. 
Waiting for the answers to come floating to the surface, 
and for her to break through, 
gasping for air and ready to come home. 
But, when she did, all I could see was her blank face, 
looking down at me, not knowing what to say, so
once again, she’d turn away 
and I’d open my mouth to say
“sorry”


Details | Acrostic | |

Confidence Part 2

Confidence...it is something I no longer have.
Obviously I never will.
Nobody could possibly understand.
Furious with my mom, furious with myself.
I hate the way I am, the way I look. 
Deep down, I know I am beautiful as personality goes, but in my opinion I lack outer beauty.
Even though some people try and tell me different, too many others have agreed with me.
Never have I been able to look in a mirror without feeling disgusted.
Crying is something I do often.
Everyday I pray that someone will want me, in spite of who I am, and everyday I am sadly 
disappointed.


Details | Rhyme | |

Are We Being Driven to God's Elimination


Are We Being Driven to God’s Elimination? In the names of diversity and anti-discrimination. It’s like we’re being driven to God’s elimination! God is being “forced” from many institutions! All in the name of this country’s constitution! We’re told that God and this country must be “separated.” Anything less is what many would call; “discriminated.” Any forms of Godly virtues or values are “torn down.” Any symbol of a cross is often “removed from the town.” It’s no wonder that this country’s in such a big mess! And yet this country wants to be strong and blessed? “What shall the righteous do if the foundations are destroyed?” Meanwhile, the tide of ungodliness, is often “enjoyed.” Those who are trying to remove God! You must beware! His judgment is soon coming! And will catch you unaware! There’s will come a day! When God’s wrath you will endure! The wages of sin is death! This is very true and sure! People may think that removing God is the “thing to do.” Anyone who attempts to do will wind up as “a fool.” Only God can fill the void in life and true love within! Only God has the power to free your soul from sin! The words; “in God we trust,” in our lives must be applied! Everything we’ll ever need… God has supplied! God is this country’s hope! It’s only true foundation! We need HIM right now! To come and heal our nation! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Lord Please Cleanse My Mind

Im alone now... the family's 
gone to bed.
sinful thoughts have 
entered my head

I don't know which
 direction to turn.
My mind feels like a fire... 
"ready to burn."

"Jesus help me!" is 
my cry and prayer.
I know you listen and 
you care!.

I don't want to think on thoughts
which trap and allure.
But to memorize God's word--
so holy and pure!

God's word is a light unto my feet...
 a lamp unto my path.
By HIS word directing me--
I'll avoid God's wrath!

Thank you Lord for being patient, 
loving and kind.
And thanks for giving me more
 of a Christ-like mind.

Your loving kindness has 
now filled my soul.
And by your word... my mind's 
been made whole! 

By Jim Pemberton
2007


Details | Rhyme | |

Some old memories to recall

There are moments in my life
when I think of my past.
Wish I could bring them back

I remember the time as a child,
when I used to play with my friends;
Our home was a place for fun,
with my siblings doing their share.

When school days come,
I would always have an extra hour,
for my homework and other plans
that comprise my studies at that time.

When summer whizzes by,
more excitement to be with friends;
to play with them and visit other places
make a deal for a wholesome year.

Whenever Christmas comes,
preparations are at hand,
like decorations, singing, and parties all over,
to make our celebrations happier and significant to all.

I still remember how we pray together
with our grandmother in her bedroom
a rosary or other memorized devotions
to lift up to God so many intentions.

With the passage of time,
changes have championed the best;
with Christian values to reflect
and thus incarnate throughout the rest.


Details | Bio | |

A Better Tomorrow

Since we were young hes always been the one the families all seen it hes ur favorite son he can go to rehab and get in trouble to he can do what he wants but thats okay with you im sorry im not his daughter im sorry you hate me so much im sorry im not perfect i rather not keep in touch although u may deny it deep down you know its true everyone else sees it why can't you see it to i didn't mean to take advantage im depressed all the time although you may not see it faking a smile is my crime of all the *****i've been thru and all the *****you have done i thought that you would be there but no your there for your son if i could have a wish him i would come from cause maybe then you would love me and i wouldn't feel so dumb you may read this note and you probably will get mad but now you know my pain and you would know my heart is sad all i wanted was for your love and your blessing to but theres not enough room for me cause hes your favorite son its true so im erasing you from my life im going to try to move on cause this pain i feel is real and i just want it gone so farewell to you mother i hope you have a great life i hope your man is the one maybe you'll be his wife but your just a distant memory a shadow from the past was it all worth it the hatred spell you cast although i shed my tears i wipe them away with sorrow maybe i'll be someones favorite i hope for a better tomorrow


Details | Free verse | |

Sharp Objects

Open your eyes
It's time to pay attention
Take a good look at your life
And it's deteriorating condition

No one can run indefinitely
Your soul will succumb to exhaustion
All that you fear, you must confront eventually
Escaping reality forever is not possible

I know you don't want to lose everything
And you haven't any time to waste
You're not the only one who's suffering
Just how long do you think she can wait

You gave up your right to self-indulgence
When you made the choice to give life to another
There's no excuse for such indolence
Now that you have become somebody's mother

As you inject away her future
I hope you feel more than just a little shame
If you don't stop you are going to lose her
This is her life that you're laying to waste


Details | Rhyme | |

My loss experience

This pain makes me wonder
Is there ever a day
When everything can go right
And this world is as curl as they say
My spirit is writhing slowly away
My mind can't bring itself to obey
My thoughts are racing 
Short of what could have been
The realization slowly sinking in
I had to see it for myself
Halfway in halfway out
These feelings are going nowhere 
Myself without a doubt
It's crazy how life works
Just stones within the dirt
Mortality taking over
Lifeline can counted through a four leaf clover
This pain has left me shaken
My soul slowly breaking
Where is it when I need it
Just really can't believe this
Your gone just like that
My whole world has just been attack
I don't know where I'm going with this
Or if I will ever bounce back
The days are getting longer
My mind is getting stronger
These challenges at hand 
Make room for fantasyland
When my thoughts become dangerous
On the rocks I lay
We pray this one makes it through another day
With the mindset and a new timeframe 


Details | Rhyme | |

No Color or Relgion, Ever Stopped a Bullet from a Gun

I heard on the news
Another two are lost
That makes 206
Is there, a whatever the cost
 
We are there to assist
A country so reft
Inner fighting
To help the rest of the left
 
Guerrilla warfare
Tactically strong
Thousands of miles
Where we don't belong
 
The people we vote in
Would they go in their place
To show their people
Dying is no disgrace
 
I will never allow
My children to fight
A war so improper
A conflict not right
 
To show our presence
As we parade their land
A remote explosion
Blown up on demand
 
How can we serve
A regime so unfair
They can starve their women
Because he can't have her there
 
To fight for their freedom
As they fight themselves
The decision should be made
To save ourselves
 
The Russians failed
So now we try
Coalition troops
In daily die
 
The modern wars
Will always be run
No color or religion
Ever stopped a bullet from a gun



http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war.php


Details | Rhyme | |

Are YOU Having An Affair

God Gave Me His Love...  I Wouldn’t Share It!

God gave me his love.  I wouldn’t share it!
The guilt I feel now. 
I can’t hardly bear it!

He gave to me blessings and a peace within.
He gave to me joy and a chance to be his friend!

He asked that I give to others what I received.
His life for others is what he’s achieved!

When God needed me, I tried to run and hide.
I was filled with selfishness and pride!

Though I had accepted him 
and was born again…
I wasn’t interested in 
reaching souls for HIM!

Deep inside me there was a voice
 that began to stir!
Christ helped me to have
  Victory so true and secure!

He helped me with his words of love spoken…
I wanted to be his vessel! Not just a “token.”

His spirit is with me each day that I live!
I want others to know of his power to forgive!

Won’t you share the love that he’s given to you?
Won’t you give back to the one
 who truly LOVES YOU?

His love is everlasting and hard to contain!
You’ll find all that you need 
when you call on his name!

By Jim Pemberton    05/04/12


Details | Free verse | |

Silence

After millions of seconds,
every second seeming,
much longer than the other.
All we wanted was good news, 
all we wanted was you...

 A night with little excitement 
only listening to the music, 
and watching stars make lame jokes,
 my sister and I heard a ring,
only faint cause the phone was outside.

Praying that everything was all right
we only wanted you safe,
we hear a sob from my mom.
As the moment my life fell apart
the good news never came.
 
You ran,
you jumped,
you swam, 
you quit.
Why?
I don't understand.

We still haven't stopped asking questions,
Why you? Why us? Why then?
Those questions will never be answered.
It's been almost five years
Why?!

When you left you took a part of us with you,
My mom says hello, 
Can you say hello to Ashley for me? 
I hope you take her camping, and watch the stars at in the sky.
I hope everything's alright.

I know your dad came to join you,
Does it make you happy when people join you,
maybe that's what was going through my sisters mind,
maybe we all miss you more than you'd expect

Ever since you've been gone,
there has been a silence,
never questioned cause we don't want to face the truth
I wonder if you had more time if you wouldn't have done it,
do you regret it, or do you like the silence in the clouds.

We will never understand why you ran.
Life hasn't been the same since,
it's gone done hill from there,
you will always be in my thoughts.


Details | Free verse | |

Pretty

My tinny girl
Let me taking you to your mother's side
She's worrying about  you
Since the last Flowery Festival
Let us bring her happiness and joy

Stop searching broken dreams
In those dirty alleys of New York's alleys
Your mother is waiting
In the Brickfield of Texas

Come to your daddy
He's dying and cancer is eating both of them
Come home at once without any regret 
We are going to take you back
We're going to forgive you

Let's give
That child
A hearty home.


Details | Lyric | |

For Chris

My heart flutters inside my chest
like a blood red butterfly
frantically trapped in a wire cage
full of rage
knowing its life span is short
Houston, we have a problem,
mission abort.

Crush the butterfly in your trembling hand,
blood soaked sand
under your feet
the secret you cannot dare repeat,
iron fist to stem the weakling's tremors,
do you remember?

'Cause the porch hammock of childhood
has long rotted away
and the day
the day
you'll never forget,
unable to wipe the images from your mind
after all this time

Still fresh and vibrant as you roll over,
the seventeenth of October
the day that time ended for you,
lips turning blue,
relive it every time you're not distracted,
ambushed and attacked it
blinds you to life

and then he took a knife
and you know it will never end
its part of your being
warping all feeling
and you understand completely
what drove him mad

and it's so sad
that genetically he was more like 
you than any other,
my brother,
my brother. 


Details | Rhyme | |

WANDERING Eyes

Wandering Eyes... 


Have you been captured by 
the wandering of your eyes? 
Things you once held as true and 
wholesome-- you now despise. 

Have you been “captured” 
by an outward beauty? 
Thereby neglecting your 
God-given duty? 

Has your soul been consumed with 
sin's all-consuming fire? 
With an uncontrollable appetitie 
and an ungodly desire. 

In your heart, is the Holy Spirit 
an uninvited guest? 
No wonder your life is in 
such a huge mess! 

Your head is filled with fantasies 
and temptations of every kind. 
You pretend on the outside. But you've 
lost control of your mind. 

For your failures—you have 
only yourself to blame. 
Now's the time to repent— 
and call on Jesus' name! 

Though your sins be red as scarlet-- 
they can be washed as white as snow. 
Only Jesus can be true peace and 
satisfaction to your troubled soul. 

By Jim Pemberton 
2008 




Details | Free verse | |

Exhibition in Memory

Abstracts hang:
sterling silver frames,
matted in motif,
celebrating Artist.
An exhibit, ten years old,
collects dust, forcing recollection.
The mortuary – Boyhood Curiosity.
Mother: Naked. Stretched. Stiff. Grey.

Tin baking dishes engulfed the counters.
Great aunts and second cousins crowded our sofas.
Somber chatter and pats on the head stung.
Clasping my girl’s hand, I twisted my door knob 
quietly. Their chatter continued. 
I escaped into her for my first kiss: 
tear salt and cherry lip gloss.

Tuna casserole and ambrosia slopped
into lunch boxes. The cold steel of fresh
cut key tapped on chest, pulled the string around
my neck, leaving a rash. I walked into our empty house.
The walls echoed.  Odor from cold spiral ham
replaced aroma of fresh cookies and oil paint.

Art followed Artist.  Canvases were laid on the autopsy
table, framed for their wake.
Dressed in their Dynamic Blue, 
Electric Lime and Habanero Red, 
the dirging dead
hang on wall.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

for the childrens sake

Sep 4 2007 
  
Deep pain and misery
 Shuts among the little ones
 They cry for help
 No one to understand
 Mother is always out drinking 
Father is abusing them 
Big sister and brother are at school 
Just only wanting to be loved 
But the family does not want to
 As the children grew older 
The hate sunk in 
Their mother was dying
 Father was in jail 
Big sister lived on the streets
 Brother was following his father's steps 
The children did not care
 They grew up not knowing what a family was like 
When they finally became parents 
The cycle began


Details | Ballade | |

BETRAYED !

Let down again by family and friends...
Lies and hatred will it never end ?
They say one thing and mean another...
Looking out for only themselves.
It's about the dollars...
They crush your dreams and burn a brother,
Shouting and stealing...
Are you really my Mother ?
How SAD it is...
It makes me cry !
I can NOT trust my own blood Brothers,
Dad or Mother !
They cheat Me worse than the others...
To Me they will not even lend.
So I have learned My one true friend,
Is JESUS Christ until the end !

                                                                    by Perri Voge


Details | Elegy | |

Ricky

His name is Ricky
He's gone for good
He was so beautiful
No one understood!
She went to work
And when she came back
He was laying there lifeless
He had suffered a smack
She cried and cried
Her little Ricky was gone
She could not help him
The damage was done!


Details | Free verse | |

When She Walked The Earth

When she walked the earth
I used to live
In a magical world
With a river
Of daises, roses, 
Violets and marigolds

A magical world where you could hear
Waterfalls of music
See cakes of moonlight
Stars of animals
And shining rays of sunlight

I used to live in a magical world
Where I could jump
So high to reach
The golden moon butterflies
That stops flying 
Only to blow me a kiss
And play with them

Life was beautiful then
When mummy
Walked the earth

But now
She is gone
Poof……dead
Gone forever
Gone for good
For eternity.


Details | Bio | |

These 4 walls

These 4 walls, 
This sacred home, 
Once full of joy, 
Echoes sweet bitterness
of times gone by.
The paranoid confusion,
The mad mistrust
Lock everything up.
Nothing is secret,
My life is mine, 
But still she rips through it, 
Questions that shouldn't be answered,
That shouldn't be asked, 
Where did she go?
A once loving person,
Now only a shadow in the dark,
Sometimes peeping through the curtains,
Trusting not even those who are blood,
Throwing road blocks on the ground,
Don't ever leave,
Never move on in life, 
I will destroy what I have to,
Even if it means losing the ones I love,
she whispers
How can anyone break free?
Where do you turn to?
A baby cries but she doesn't answer, 
That’s not mine, 
She hisses, 
I have done all I can. 
Everyone is out to get me, 
Do you not see?
The walls grow taller, 
Two steps back, 
But how many more to take?
This wasn't meant to happen; 
It should be a happy home!!!!


Details | Free verse | |

Have you ever?

Have you ever lived my life?
Or even felt my pain?
Have you ever thought it was just a Nightmare that might just never end?
Have you ever seen your mother being sprayed by police?
Snatching your brother from her arms?
Have you ever tried to explain why these things happen?
To not only but yourself,
But also to your sister and brother?
Have you ever wondered why, you were locked in a room?
Made the enemy because they can’t trust you?
Have you ever felt such intense pain that you thought you might die?
Have you ever wondered why your father had to lie and blame things on others that he 
simply could not hide?
Has your mother ever told you ‘I HATE YOU!’ because of all the horrid things that were going 
on?
Have you ever had to hide your face so no one would see your tears?
Have you ever lyed in bed awake crying blood stained tears?
Do you think of cutting your arms?
Just to release the pain.
Do you think I care about what you say?
When I know things will never be the same.
Have you ever tried to take your life?
Thinking there’s no other way out?
Have you ever even wondered
What the cold hands of death might feel like?
Have you sat behind a window?
Watching as the world goes by.
Wondering if you’ll ever come back to such a terrible place?
Have you ever wished that the memories would just leave or start to fade?
But, every time you look at your arms
The memories come flooding back.
Have you ever wondered if there’s a person out somewhere
That feels the way you do?
If not,
Then why do judge me as you do?
End


Details | Rhyme | |

Are Things In Your Life Out Of Place

Are Things In Life "Out Of Place?"

I visited a garage sale.  And had a 
surprised look on my face.
I noticed that some things
 were "out of place."

To my right... Was a shelf filled with books.. 
And Christian ones too.
To my left...  Was a sign that read; 
"I have adult movies for you."

I wondered and thought with 
some kind of amazement.
"Does this person read these books. 
 And watch this "entertainment?"

This is common in many Christian homes...
Often...  People cross God's 
"boundaries" and "safety zones."

Anyone can go to church. 
 Pray, sing and "shed a tear."
Not realizing that sin's temptation
 is drawing ever so near.

Do you seek God's holiness and the 
power of Jesus' name?
But each night...  Before bedtime... 
 Things aren't quite the same...

Have you opened up your heart 
and mind...  And live life unfulfilled?
Is this the way you ought to live? 
 Is this what God has willed?

He desires to live inside of you.
  And help you to discover.
With any stronghold in life.  
He'll help you to recover!

Are things in life "out of place?"  
And need to be put back together?
Allow God's word to guide you!  
His promises are forever!

Everything will be where it should be...  
With Jesus In control!
Only he can defeat the enemy that 
seeks to destroy your soul!

By Jim Pemberton 08/03/09


Details | Free verse | |

A wife's yearning to be a mother

Please forgive me my love for I am not in my right mind
dysphoria has taken over me. It's a merciless disease that shatters my liveliness
do not think a single time that you've caused this ailment upon me
without you this diease would become a tragic demise
you save me from the end each smile you reveal
you liberate my tortured heart with every kind word you deliver
you might wonder why I suffer from this heartless lonliness
All I sigh for is a life and soul conceived from our immortal love
a life that proves our love can grow and our essence will live eternally
a soul that mirrors your selfhood and captures your true character
I crave for your innocence to grow in my womb and develop into a definite entity
I want to live knowing I gave you all the affection my heart can bestow
I need to feel the product of our love evolve within me
I'm aware of how powerful our endearment is and how profound our souls marry
If our love is truly everlasting then patient and effervescent I shall remain
Knowing one miraculous day our spirits will conjoin and create a divine new life...


Details | Free verse | |

Sincerely Yours,

Dear friend ,

The world means nothing.
Its set in flames.
Even worse we roam with cold hearts trying to look the part,
in this guilded age.

This is something I wish not to be a part of.
I no longer want to be another soul endlessly making
contact with sole and pavement.
I'm striving for abatement. 

For meaning I've always looked at dictionaries.
For significance we've always looked at actions.
So please do take another look and see what this letter is for.

Our education is supposed to be priceless, yet we can't afford it.
Our outlook on life is supposed to be uplifting , yet our vision is always distorted.
Our struggle is supposed to be significant , than why is it our stories won't be recorded?

Does this not trouble you my friend?
We complain about being second rate citizens yet there are those who don't live
but attempt to survive in their homes that are assigned in third world countries since before birth.

Where is the justice if the hearts are starting to turn into just ice?
Wheres the justice if a benevolent man was robbed of their life?
Where's the justice in this non-sense?
I can't see it . All I see is us bracing for a cruel consequence.

Pardon me if I trouble you with the questions you can't answer.

But i've outweighed the pros and the cons of this situation.
I no longer wish to to be just another number in this logorithm of lies. 
I no longer wish to be a variable with no value of his own.
I wish to become the variable that comprehends the absolute value of sincerity.

Real love is that which shows no fear.
Unfortunately I am a coward.
I no longer can love a world that is platinum plated and wishes not to remember
the warmth of a child's smile.

Even the stars wish not to roam on the skies of the falsely lit nights.
Even the moon moans because of how far from her we've drifted.
Even the willos weep when we no longer wish to see them stand and instead
choose them to stand on.

I've outweighed the courage and the fear.
But what I found frightened me further.
What weighed us down the most was indifference.

With that discovery I knew what I had to do.
I must leave and find somewhere where gravity is no longer so heavy.

I know I can't outweigh death for it's a burden that falls on the shoulders of everyone.
I'm truly sorry that i'm a selfish coward 
For I have chosen the coward's end.

I wish you goodluck my friend,

Sincerely yours,

The shadow of men


Details | Rhyme | |

Tears

One tear for him saying he loved her and will be there
One tear for her falling for him and just wanting him near
For him not using a condom..thats one more tear
One tear for each of the 3 months, that passed
One tear from the fear of the pregnancy test she did not pass
One tear for her high school education she watched float away
One tear for her young age of 14 and not knowing any other way
One tear for her suggestion of the situation "getting handled" in a certain way
One tear for his rage as he wanted the baby regardless to stay
One tear for her telling  him that it was the best choice
One tear because he didn't let her exercise pro-choice
One tear for her persuading him and agreeing he'll go
One tear because when that day came, where he was, she didn't know
One tear for the pain she endure all by herself
One tear for the blood that stained her panties when she got home
One tear for he never again called her phone
and shed one more tear because she has to cry all of these tears alone
                                                  -Akiyah Francis

(Dedicated to my best friend and myself for the struggle we both had to endure, at least we
did it together)


Details | Rhyme | |

The Crying Tears Of Your Violin

The Crying Tears Of Your Violin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   You take to the night in dreamlike trance
In tears you play of the beauty within
Followed through with the sorrow of life
The crying tears of your violin.
   People gather round you in homage 
Mystified by your astonishing sound
Holding hands in lovely sway
Anguish at the theater in the round.
   This seed of disparity planted on yesterday’s morn 
The lovely life of your child’s dismay 
A home disgraced in torching flame
The new found place of a mother’s grave.
   Into the fields of lilac dress
Fortunes of misfortune display less fortunate
Taciturn dreams explode in reverent voice
As life, becomes no more less than ornate.
   Yet you are not alone in your world
As the people sway to the comfort of your soul
Melting within the musical melody of sorrow
While placing their coin into your bowl.
   Where heaven blooms in saddened cry
Lonely love strums chords within
Displays a broken heart unto the crowd
The crying tears of your violin.
     ©By: Darren J McMurray
              November 11, 2008


Details | Free verse | |

Farewell Black Rose

 
Bloom in the brightest of times, 
Passionate black rose 
Blend with the splendid aroma…it’s a wish
I grant to you, exquisite black rose 
For you are my mother—withering away
Into the eerie night... you sway 
 
Gloom caresses you in the darkest of time,
Gorgeous black rose 
Mend the atmosphere overwhelmed with anguish 
When your heart gave way, beautiful black rose 
For you are my mother—driven away
Into the perilous sea… you say:

“Farewell, son/daughter of mine…Someday you’ll shine!”

Those last words will always be 
A broken record forever in my drenched heart  
Those last words led me in this debris
That forever took you away into the death’s cart! 

Farewell...Farewell...Farewell!
Beautiful black rose...I don't want to see you wither away!
Farewell...Farewell...Farewell!
Beautiful black rose...mother...rest in peace 'till the day
You bloom in the glorious times

Rest in peace, farewell
Black rose.


Details | Free verse | |

Slits

A dozen slits upon her arms, just a couple 
On her legs. She feels her pain is relieved
But, would rather she be dead? 
She slits her wrists, two wide cuts.
The blood drips down her arms.
Tears fall down her face
As she realizes, just what she's done. 
She lies there on her bathroom floor
As tears roll down her cheeks. 
Her body goes limp from what she's done, 
She is so very weak.
Her mother walks in at this site,
Her daughter begins to weep.
Her mother holds her very tight
She helps her to her feet.
What little strength she has left, gets her
To her bed, there lies no harm in her 
Mother's arms. She cried, "I love you mom"
"I love u too my dear" mom says
As her daughter died that day.


Details | Rhyme | |

Mom Doesn't Listen To Me

as I explore the depths of 
my inner being there's a few 
things that I have not 
been hearing or seeing

like my little girl's voice 
wispering thru the night
come hold me close mama 
for I feel such fright

or why can't you get out of bed 
your eyes look swollen and 
looks awful garsh darn red

and like why cant you come
to my school I 'm just trying
to make you proud of what I 
can accomplish too

also why do I have to go live 
with my dad when you had me
weren't you feeling nothing but glad

for eleven years I had to live
with these inner fears of not being able
to be a fulltime mother to my little girl
who I love so dear and cannot everyday hear

so to this day I will continue 
to fight and pray that the
heavens beams of rays
will let me enjoy my 
beautiful angel again one day
and thats what I need to say





I Have been stricken with an ungodly illness for 25 yrs
that prevents me from being a fulltime mother 
to my Jenny Rose the sickness has to do with
severe migrains to stomach there is no cure 
only injections to try to abort spells then I lay 
in a dorment state for up to 9 hours
it ruined my life literly



Also this is entry for Kristin Renyold's 
what you need to hear contest


Details | Rhyme | |

Someone Asked Me About Marriage

Someone Asked Me About Marriage…

Someone asked me about marriage, as a matter of fact…
I thought; “what kind of questions is that?”

“Let me ask a questions…  If I may?”
“Do you read what the God’s word has to say?”

Marriage is still and will always be one woman and man.
I don’t care how many laws we have in our land!

No matter if many churches and people claim; “civil rights.”
Anything different than a man and woman is NOT right!”

The first chapter of Romans makes it pretty clear…
The days of wickedness have drawn ever near!

God’s wrath revealed against all ungodly living!
Think about the garbage our country is giving!

It speaks of men and women leaving their natural affection.
Burning in lust toward one another
 with an ungodly attention!

For this cause God has given many over to a reprobate mind…
Many get involved with perversions of many kinds!

Professing themselves to be wise, many have become “fools.”
By not obeying God’s word… But their own “set of rules.”

Marriage is something designed many years ago.
It was Adam and Eve in the beginning…  This we know!

My question to you is: “Why not give God a chance?”
His truth remains the same!  Whatever the circumstance!

No court of law can change what God has established!
Everything that’s not of God is simply a lot of “rubbish.”

Jesus is coming back for a bride without “a wrinkle or a spot.”
It’s time we come clean and become
 “blood bought!”

Being the bride of Christ is the most important thing!
He is the bridegroom and eternal love he brings!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

White Rabbit

Quick, we'll be late!

Then again. she shan't notice.

Her eyes are heavy, always.

Induced by magic.

They call it medicine.


She would be angry though!

Only on them days, when he's away.

When we won't hear the groans

moans, grunts. 

She remembers though.


She's so sad now! 

She always was, it's him.

She's submissive, timid, shy.

Afraid. They'll take her away.

We can't visit. 


We must rescue her! 

From her sleep? No.

'for what dreams may come

when we shuffle of this mortal coil.'

There is only one way.


You find the bleach!

It is effective in removing.

Ridding us of the evidence.

But not of the past, not of the blood.

May she rest in peace. 


Details | Rhyme | |

without you mother

without you mother its so hard to bear this awful pain
to not have you in our life, is a harder heal to gain
you left us so suddenly at the young age of 45
to hug and hold you in my arms for just a little while
to kiss your cheek,and maybe see you smile
no more heartache, no more pain, even though cancer is to blame
god needed another angel, so he called your name
and you had to leave behind all those you truly loved
when heavens gates opened for you from up above
even though we'll miss you, i know your in a better place
i cant wait till the day i see your beautiful face.
so rest in peace my dear mother until we meet again
because without you mother my love will never end


Details | I do not know? | |

Unyielding Pain

Would it be best if I just went away?
Never again see the light of day,
You said you hated me,
Do you even know what those words did to me?
I curled up in a ball and withered away,
Not even listening to what mother would say,
She would cry out I don't want to lose my baby,
She saw my cold, distant eyes and knew she had already,
My mother never again knew paradise,
No one could help her not even Jesus Christ,
Maybe if you had not chosen to say the words you said,
I probably wouldn’t be here on my death bed,
Now my whole family feels my pain,
What is this is this you’re little game,
Once my family's pain and suffering is over,
I will lay down my weapons and lend them my clover,
Who knows now where my spirit will go,
No one but Jesus and God will know,
Maybe I will go up,up,up and beyond,
Trying to patch up my severed bond,
But if I go down,down,down,
I must hope to drown,
Because there the Devil's Chamber lay,
Every soul hopes to get out, but none get away,
Now you must hope you don't end up like me,
Go ahead think that you are free,
Go on spend all your lousy time,
Waste all your money until you don't have a dime,
When you have lost everything and you have past,
I will be back quick and very fast,
You will see me at your gate,
Now I welcome you to your gruesome fate,
You ask me why am I here,
I say did you think I would just disappear,
A second passed and I shoved you in your door,
You’re screaming Dear God I can't take anymore,
Now you will suffer and feel mine and everyone's pain,
I am off to get on my afterlife train,
Who knows I might stay here on Earth,
After all I have been rebirthed,
Now my heart is set at ease,
Time is no more at a freeze,
Now my family can move on,
Because that monstrous person is forever gone! 


Details | Free verse | |

Push

My mother pushed the door open to me,
tried to find my smile again,
out of my depression.
She poured out all the venom of her soul
and my dirty veins saw the lights of the oncoming nightmares.
My body was screaming,
activated my conscience to resist a temptation.
His music was very popular in the sixties,mother
and the entry of drug into the bloodstream,
made my garden enclosed by a high wall.
Its the wall,mother.
The wall.
Ghost and enemies surrounded my home
and all the land encompassed by those hills isn't mine anymore.
I cried as my illusion to be a better man is gone now.
Surrender unconditionally,be a martyr in the cause of nothing,
as my body suffered, counted upon Your help.
My mother pushed the door open to me,
The day was drawing to its close.



  


Details | Rhyme | |

Mama

Can you see this pain of mine? 
Buried deep down inside. 
Do you know why it's there? 
Because you never ever care. 
I feel alone. 
Like a puppy lost it's bone. 
I can't find you anywhere. 
Are you sure your really there? 
Am I just a joke? 
A girl to pinch and poke? 
Your the reason for these marks! 
Cutting dawn til' dark. 
My brain has frozen. 
Why have I been choosen? 
Mother you lie! 
You said I'd never die! 
Mama, it wasn't murder and I'm not homicidal. 
Mama, this was intentional because I am suicidal.


Details | Rhyme | |

Are You Going Through A Layoff

Going Through A Layoff???

Are you one who watches 
the nightly news?
And hear of the many jobs
 people will lose?

Does this news bring to your life 
much uncertainty?
Knowing that very soon… 
This could be a reality?

Are you one who’s filled with fear 
and apprehension?
Feeling the burden of stress 
and a lot of tension?

Perhaps you feel very discouraged 
and “distraught.”
Here’s a ”lesson” that needs
 to be taught!

Don’t allow yourself to worry about
 “how things are going.”
There’s a God in heaven that you 
need to be knowing!

He knows all about your layoff 
and every situation!
The love and peace he gives needs
 no explanation!

Everything that you need...  
Jesus does provide!
Worry?  Or Trust HIM?  
That’s for you to decide!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Bio | |

Life's Bitter Pill

The preacher's eyes looked so sad
as we walked from the graveyard.
They had just buried my mother 
who died at fifty one.

The mourners were on their way
picking pebbles from the ground,
casting them into mother's grave,
they too had tears in their eyes.

He placed his hand over my shoulder
as he spoke with those misty eyes:
"Take it easy, son, don’t you cry,
your mother must be in heaven now."

But I was numb and unbelieving
with no thoughts to what he'd said
for I could never forgive his God
for taking mother away from me.

My poor father silently cried,
shocked by the death of his wife.
But he never knew, if only he knew
that he was soon going to die too.

I looked around me with mock relief
and I saw them all clothed in black.
"Take it easy, brothers and sisters,
no need crying over spilled milk."

I don't know how many times I cried,
people had tried to hurt my pride;
never caring to look into my feelings,
they laughed at me behind my back.

Now my dreams had all burned down,
fate had stolen my golden crown;
while the curtain's blown by the wind
the rain was dripping from the pane.

I'd been through life's ups and downs
but I never moaned aloud like a clown.
‘Take it easy, Fred, take it easy,
soon the dark clouds will go away.’


Details | Bio | |

my family lost

an angry father with no love
no acceptance there even a hug
a detached mother never a smile
ive seen her happy but its been awhile
a drugged out sister who raised me right
finds release with blade of a knife
my dear brother scarred for life
sorrowful crying fills the night
my family means the world and more
but loving me is their biggest chore
not a pleasure not a privilege
my heart soars but then they kill it
not all is bad at times they fake it
but false smiles cant always make it
a beaten child here i lay
waiting for the darkness of day
mother tries but cant hold on
sister only hits the bong
brother distant in great need
father reason i sometimes bleed
they are all i have they are my nothing
hoping, groping to find something
i hold them dear i love them so
better to fight than let go
divorce ending what had been
some chose faith and others sin
my brother chose nothing though i try
to be an anchor in a sea of night
still he drifts away so far away
living life one bad day to bad day
sister to high to hear my cries
pushing back the harder i try
i want her to see the light
i wont give up without a fight
father once so happy and energetic
now drained and sees me as pathetic
was so loving and full of life
now gets drunk and wants a fight
mother lost as i try to lead the way back
still slipping so far off track
i cant stand to see her cry
though it happens every night
i love my family they are all i ever had
and ill stand by them in good and bad
i love you family please come home
im so sick of being alone
i need you now more than ever
i need someone to make it better
i need a smile instead of shouts
i need words from the heart not the mouth
please family find me here
please leave behind the beer
leave the drugs and the knife
leave the darkness in the night
leave your new world ill make this one better
i said it once and ill say it forever
my world is lost without the center
family you are the core
everything that i adore
ill make every effort i want it back
the happiness of our long lost past


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Mama Wolf

 I feel helpless...
Like I can't help her
She's sitting there
Perfectly fine
Staring into the wolfs eyes and open jaws..
.But the wolf seems to be crying..
Like her tears made up for her roar.
Poor young girl with  fear and shame written in your scorched eyes...
I wish I could help you....
But apparently it's not my place....


Details | I do not know? | |

Contemplate

What am I doing? 
Where have I been?
Years have passed in the blink of an eye.
I now miss moments that passed me by.
My little babies are big and tall.
Before you know it, Girls will call.
I will protect, as any mother would,
her son’s precious heart 
from the pains from being broken apart.
I will be there as the pieces mend,
offering my love that will never end.
A good example is what I need to be,
to show the boys what is “family”.
When I have failed, how can I preach?
With my emotional turmoil, what do I teach?
The commotion in my head, weighing rights from wrongs.
Spending too many days singing a sad, sad song.


Details | Rhyme | |

A SWEET LULLABYE

Which kids long to hear a sweet lullabye...
when they are cuddled up in their beds,
when the vagrant moon won't shine on them to make them sigh?
Would you say they are those being loved by caring parents?


Not at all...orphans with many needs do!
They have dreamed of that mellow sound
as long as they can remember, and 'though they were fearful infants,
those memories were recalled vividly by their mind;
and they are very sad and unforgettable, too...
ask them about their disappointment, you'll surely witness their tears! 


Orphanages aren't great places for children to dwell in,
and frustration and anger echo within those walls of silent pain,
where the outside world cannot hear them and alleviate them...
but curious faces peek through window screens and dream!


Let's sing them a sweet lullabye, so that they can sleep
under a vigilant moon and begin weaving their dream;
let's give them a memorable night as the nightingales revere their smiles
as they mimic that melody to make their young hearts rhapsodize!  
Let's sing them a sweet lullabye, not just for one night, but for many...
and would they want to turn back time and be solicitous and solitary?  


Details | Rhyme | |

Those Who Have Wronged Us


Those Who Have Wronged Us… I had a loved one whom I thought loved me. I couldn’t understand how she would treat me! I thought she was a Christian. She said she was. She told me; “I don’t like you just because!” As the years went by, just the way she lived. I wanted nothing to do with her! Much less forgive! The things she did were hurtful and caused pain. I didn’t even want to mention her name! Years later, I felt the lord tugging at my heart! God wanted a healing… And a fresh start I wanted an apology… It never took place. I felt the Lord asking me for more of his grace. You see, after all these years, with no words spoken. I heard of some news, and my heart was broken. I found out this person was soon at death’s door. When I found out… I fell to the floor! I cried “Father in heaven will you please forgive me? I didn’t love her, in spite of how she would treat me!” The opportunity I had was a chance for forgiving. Now she hasn’t much longer that she’ll be living! May this be a warning and a “wake up” reminder! To those who wronged us, we need to be kinder! Christ’ love needs to break the “barriers” down. So forgiveness in our lives will certainly be found! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

She Played The Fool At Every Turn

His excuse was weak,
it was help he failed to seek,
without the discipline of his father,
he wanted to be in charge,
he wanted to exploit her weakness,
her unwillingness to stand,
letting him take total command.
Tight-lipped he slapped her around,
and every chance he had he’d put her down,
she bruised easily, and she hid it well,
her family and friends couldn’t tell.
There were signs of emulation from her son,
what could she do, what can be done?
He would slap her again and again,
and her expression softened,
she played the fool at every turn,
until that night when he thought he was sleeping quietly,
he started to feel the burn,
smoke floating higher,
and the mattress  on fire,
he tried to move be he couldn’t
she could have helped, but she wouldn’t,
you see, she was the one who tied him to the bed,
smoke ate away at his flesh,
and the beatings she endured were now dead.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Good -Bye Sonny

Good -Bye Sonny



Sonny was the talk of the town 
and when the neighbors passed by
they  would so often frown
for Sonny was an outcast
one who would take, but never ask
He drank his Spirits from a flask
and couldnt deal with much of a task
Sonny's mom had to go out with a mask
because of all the questions 
that the neighbors would ask
he wouldnt care if she shed a tear
or if her dress flew in the air
and he wouldnt care when the neighbors
passed by in order to stare

Now his mom's emotions were all spent
and to her name she had barely a cent
and she wondered of the length of her torment.

"How long will my torment last?", 
"How much longer?"she' would ask
Then one day, she took that flight
and went toward that white light
that was so bright in her sight
just to end her day and finish off her night.
Good-bye Sonny


McCuen Copyright October 2008


Details | Free verse | |

Severed Family Ties

In this game of who gets who worst. 
Its about getting even , regardless of if feelings get hurt.
So what if this has escalated , you've wronged me, 
since that moment I had placed you in a hurst. 



Ironic is that you were the brother who taught me the meaning of family.
Now you are the one whose existence is a bother.



More push than shoves , more disdain than love. 
My personality determed by " I " but the attitude by all of the above. 


Those qualities of yours that ensure that we will quarell. 
Those lies that enticed my pride to be swallowed. 
No longer will I take the blame for you. 



My older brother. My older brother , both father and brother.


What a short distance you've fallen from the tree , hurting all those around you , your siblings and even our dear mother, just like the one who betrayed you , our dear father.



For the lust of materialistic dreams that you seeked youve trampled upon the ones who didnt even understand the concept of envy.


First you lie about your family name.
Then you gamble with our savings. 
Then steal from me , was I not part of your family?



Humiliate your siblings infront of your friends for laughs. 
Calling us the bastards that God should've never had.
Thank God our mother can't see what has become of you and I. 
You almost murdered me because I wouldn't lend you anymore money.


Thank God our mother can't see what has become of you and I.
For you succesfully murdered her spirits too.

You only came to the funeral to lay claim to your part of the money.


Tomorrow our family ties will be physically severed. 
But mother taught us all shall pass.

When tomorrow comes I hope this is true. 
So in high spirits I know this is something else that shall pass,
 something I must go through.

For with the last heirloom you did not take.... ,
our grandfather’s knife... 

Your life I shall take from you.


Details | I do not know? | |

NOW THAT YOUR GONE

They said when your gone i should rejoice
and remember the good times we had.
But now that your gone i can't rejoice cause i never got to meet you mom.
Because of the pain of never getting to say what i wanted to you 
and the tears coming pouring out at the sound of your name.
My clear blue skies become cloudy and gray
I never got to tell you i love you mom
or ask you why you gave me up
But i guess god doesn't want me knowing why and you knowing that i care.
and every mothers day it tears at my heart to know i never got to meet you 
never got to say good bye 
never got to say i love you
Just know Michelle you ll always be my biological mom 
even if you are dead and gone.


Details | Rhyme | |

" The Life Of Me " page 2 of 2

So in 83 i met a girl, Nicola's her name, my heart was a whirl 
We courted and married, in the space of 3 years 
It changed my life, disquelled previous tears 
Over the years, we are blessed with 4 kids 
Nightmares of the past, are now well rid

It's now 2008 and i'm feeling so low, just as lonely as i was before
There's various reasons for this lines to be said, as i stare at our house front door.
Dare i go through, but do i dare
James, it's not just about you - but your childrens welfare

What will i find inside or out, if someone can help me, please give me a shout
Will i ever find, what i'm looking for  - in this world or the next
It will be through my last door


" Well i have found what i am looking for, it's being read on this wonderful site - my
poetry. But the bigger plus is the people who are reading it, Poetry Soup Family "
                                                       ( Bless you all )

                                   http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me.php


Details | Bio | |

To many problems

It’s about that time that I grow up and see that my family is getting to out of hand.
My momma is acting crazier than she’s ever in her life.
Over a man, over the way she treats me and my sisters, to just all family 
problems.
She acts like she 7 years old, always going crying to somebody because things 
ain’t going her way.
To make it like me and my sister Tyesha is the bad guys.
I hate the fact that I have to sit and see it all go down, but what can I do.
I’m almost grown.
To many problems in my life, that needs to be fixed,
Or too many people are going to be hurt including me.
I hate my life right now, and that’s sad to say.
But with everything going on with me that how I felt for a long time now.
It looks like I’ll be leaving home in a little bit, but I don’t want to do that.
I’m still scared to be on my own in life, I don’t really know what to do.
Too many problems is making me have another nerves breakdown, I don’t have 
time for it.
I’m a senior now, and I need to do what I need to do and get out of here.
I have too many problems in my life that I hate to talk about but I need to.
So to all my problems please leave me alone, and let me be.
So I’m go start praying to God to help me though things that’s going to make me 
a better person.


Details | Free verse | |

Many Memories....

In the beginning, my life was a whirlwind of mixed emotions, longing to reveal 
their true selves. As they built up inside of me, I was gasping for the feeling of 
stillness and a serene moment, I was touched by heaven's angel, I began to 
know a slight warmth overwhelming me. Though my heart and soul were trying to 
reach the surface of hope to breathe a breath of relief from all of the long before 
chaos. Many hidden feelings were and now are seeping through the many faces 
of me. As I take a yearn for journey through steep and narrow but comforting 
ways, I now come towards the end of this distressment and see the clear path 
now taken... As it was lit for me as a sign brought from my own profound vitality, a 
future known to be remembered by ones who can survive a lifetime of troubles 
with undying affection from loved ones, ones who can face the trials ahead with 
their head held high and insecurities and downfalls on low, years ahead to look 
forward to, to pursue my dreams untold. To become someone who is 
considerate and mindful of others impression, judgment, and beliefs, someone 
who will achieve the impossible, and is known to mankind. As I get older, I 
become more conscious of my surroundings and known of my past errors, I 
once was and still maybe full of regret which I am not sure of, as it still may linger 
in the presence of my soul. My elapsed 4 years ago will always remain in me. For 
it will never leave me, as the abidance of the corrupt moment lives within me 
always. As that special person was my guardian, counselor and mother. Many 
reflections run through my mind, they scatter and separate while bewailing over 
the losses and revive my thoughts of the gains throughout these years. The one 
someone who is and always wil be my matriarch with wings. This is the existing 
hope of her during my inner beliefs, for these are the many memories.... 


Details | Rhyme | |

I Met This Lady Who Didn't Know What To Do

I met a lady who didn't 
know what to do. 
She was deserted by the one
 who said; "I love you!"

I can't begin to describe
 her look of despair.
She asked; "does anyone out 
there really care?"

She told me of her very
 difficult situation.
Feeling much hopelessness 
and frustration.

I remember seeing her and her 
family at church before.
But things are different now... 
She's not happy anymore.

I was in a hurrry... not wanting
 this "extra burden."
But this one thought from scripture 
became quite certain.

We must minister to the widows
 and single mothers too.
This is a command Jesus asks of me and you.

As the body of Christ... we must 
serve one another.
Reaching out to the widows
 and the single mother.

We must see that their needs get 
our undivided attention.
Even though, at times, 
it's a difficult situation.

We must act quickly and 
boldly take a stand.
Reaching out to the widows and single
 mothers as Christ commands!

By Jim Pemberton
2008


Details | Couplet | |

Another Holiday

It is yet another holiday without my kids,
And once again I feel the urge to keep the pain hid.

No one knows how truly alone I feel.
They just tell me in time I will heal.

How can I get over this though?
This is the most excruciating pain I know!

It is not physical but a pain of the heart.
It is unfair to keep mother and child apart.

There are days that my emotions are so raw,
I just want someone or something to cleave and claw.

This is pure agony at its best.
I no longer have a heart in my chest.

Maybe oh maybe this is a dream.
No it is not and yet I cannot scream.

The choice for them to leave was not mine to say,
The wonderful state decided it was my price to pay.

So once again I mourn my loss and cry,
For my asking for help came at a cost way too high.

I sit here in no one way or other,
And ask myself " What am I if I can't be a Mother?"


Details | I do not know? | |

No Matter

No matter what i do,
It's never good enough for you.
No matter what i say,
You think it's a lie anyway.
I feel like im dieing inside,
Thats why i sit and cry. 
Why yould you want me to stay,
When all you do is tell me to go away.
The angry words about my past,
How long do you think it would last.
I'm sorry it turned out this way.
All you had to do is prove,
You wanted me to stay!


Details | Rhyme | |

Zero

Once on way to the hospital, one minus one was zero.
God was fighting with the Devil, and God was my hero.

My dad had also been my hero and when he died I cried.
A part of me died and went into deep depression, the lie

Of how he had died. The dream of the autopsy lingered long.
He did not suffer, but I did for twelve years. Now I'm strong.

Strong was his faith and so is mine. Love is great, divine.
For the years I was sick as my mother, I looked for a sign

To deliver me from the Hell I was feeling, dealing without hero.
My mother died when God and the Devil became a big fat zero.

God won and I dreamed she went to Heaven in a white
Dress as angel, like her sweet voice, her beauty a sight

To see. As I've gotten older, I see her in me, looks.
She read the bible, as did I and many other books.

For her soul, her death, no longer need to cry.
No longer do I need to ponder and wonder why.

She quoted to me in the Devil's voice, then apologized in her voice
Her mother had God and the Devil in her and died at 35, no choice.

My mother was seven when her mother went to Heaven.
Popi and Aunt Mae, her mother's sister, raised her then.

I pray for all of them each and every night.
I know that they are all in God's own sight.


Details | Narrative | |

R.I.P Mrs. Beyeres....

I woke up today
never knowing this would come
for I'd just seen you not a day ago
and there had only been smiles
we had been making plans
and your mother she just smiled and watched
how can we get back to that moment?
I never thought this then
but those would be the last
the last of the happy words between us.
I wish i could take this from you
i wish i could take it from myself
what where do we go now?
there is this gaping chasm between us
filled with this darkness
that drowns us in pain
your mother, they will say
no one can replace her
no one saw the street racers
as you two were getting off the freeway
no one could stop fates hands 
as the street racers hit you both
and the car rolled away
as if mere dust in the wind...
you were fine and i was glad
but my second mother?
she, she lay in her own blood
where do we go now?
i wish i could take this pain from you
i wish i could take this pain from myself
what do i say now
what words can be said..
nothing more than
may she rest in peace
may she go with god
know that we are here
to hold you up.
Remember those who love you
and know that your mother doesn't suffer here.
one day may we return to sanity.

RIP mrs. beyers who was killed in a car accident and passed away this morning after they
pulled her off life support, she was like my second mother and we mourn her loss, may she
be in pain no more though, and may we remember all the love she taught us.


Details | Rhyme | |

Blood on Emeralds

The blood of Emeralds
In Northern Ireland's streets
Where sides detest
Victims they seek
 
Religious divide
Neighbours slain
For the life of me
What to gain
 
These troubled times
Historic sores
Deep rooted pasts
Now to the fore
 
IRA
UDA
Many guns came out to play
Both sides fell, as they murderously slay
During the week, even Sundays
 
The Belfast agreement of 1998
This Land of Emeralds, in peaceful state
Neighbours safe to talk again
Never allow the blood, on the Emeralds stain

" Dedicated to all Ireland - The Emerald Isle "


Details | Free verse | |

My Little Angel

they handed you to me
my heart filled with joy
my beautiful little boy
then they spoke
and my heart shattered
He's not gonna make it
I held you close
not my little angel
I kissed your face
please stay with me little one
the hours passed
and I prayed that you wouldn't be taken
luck wasn't with me that day
you, my little angel, were taken
your life was cut short
my heart ached
why did this happen
I miss you little one


Details | I do not know? | |

Really

Yea?  So today is here...
     So I made it thru the night.
That doesn't mean that you
     or my life is right.
But "You  love me."
      "You just want me to be okay."
If only you realized that
      your way,
         is not the only way!
So you've molded yourself
      to community standards.
So you speak all proper...
      in  societies words!
But... are you really happy?
      Are you really proud?
Or are you just uptight,
      holier and loud?
Do you actually remember 
      having lived all the things
             your preaching about?
Or have you forgotten
      what life is painfully
             all about?
Can you remember what  its
      like to want and need?
Do you remember how it feels
     to have kids to feed/
Do you know what its like
     to truly love?
To  be grateful for 
     the man above?
Or have you forgotten these
      little things?
Like the joy that a simple
      smile brings!
Can you honestly say
       you know how to feel...
Or do you only know how to
       pretend your human and real?
 Do you know who you are?
       Do you have any clue?
Do you really care about me?
       Or is it just all about you?



                  
    


Details | I do not know? | |

How Stupid

Some days I feel so INSANE....
All this anger, rage and pain
Is all rolling around so deep 
Out of my soul it surely seeps.

Lord how stupid was I?
I believed every lie,
I took every powerful punch
And boy there were a bunch.

Every choice I am second guessing.
Nothing in them is a blessing.
With every cry and every tear
Am wondering how I got here?

Now know the system I once believed in
Said all my decisions were all a sin.
The judge said my children she would take
As she believed that their interests I had forsake.

Family and my few select friends
Think that I have made amends.
But surely how can I?
When all I can do is ask why?

Why did I stay his wife?
Why did I endure all the strife?
Why can't I still be a mom?
Why can't I find that magic balm?

Why won't this agony go away?
How long must I continue to pay?
Can I ever really heal?
Or forever will pain be all I feel?




Details | Free verse | |

Foresight of an ode to mothers everywhere

Dear Mother
i dont l;like the drugs
and as I fly
so low and high
my way
turned loose
the drugs
well
they like me

Ode to mom
what could this be?
beaten on the floor
to find the thoughts of butterflies
beaten on the floor and chased away
the crack in me
to start my life again
he cant hurt you anymore
but its ion my way

And as i do it my way
they all fall 
like kissed roses in the falling leaves
of an s.o.s
Into the crooked queer cops
that squirm to swallow
what does it matter to the tiny dancers that hold the answers
when its not healthy to feel 

If i Turn you Loose
If your NoT afraid of your mind thats losing it
and the loves testing all of me
if you are not afraid
afraid of anything
to second guess your sanity

Dear mother can you find the light
to tickle me
and find the light
take it all over head over heals
as this world surrounds me
and as everyone makes this hard
will someone come rescue from my mind
when i picked my poison
turned loose to find
im weak and powerless
to feel open
powerless to feel that we are the same
begging for someone to help me
and its not healthy when we cant sleep at night

Love is testing thee but who holds the key?

When im delusional and complicated
can you see the tangents i explore after i have condensed the matter 
and been down before?
does it make sense to them all?
can you cure me out of your fears
drag the demons from me and sleep in the beauty of thoughts that magically 
heal me?

im far to oblivious to approach the treasured bliss
inside of me
to awaken miserably rescue the sleeping purity
im poisoned yet treasured and drunken on needles
to kiss this feathered winged angel one more time
whose far too fooled to wake me from my slumber
and sleep in the futility of the treasured desires
that lie inside of all of us withered souls

ode to Mother dear mother i have something to say do you see it in hear 
anywhere im looking inside once again to clean this closet with this stained 
hands to see why
did i turn out this way

mama
mama
mama

just turn away and know its not your fault
i pave my own way by riding coat tails 
and one day i will show you how
and hail all the poisoned apples
of hopeless sleepless beauties ive awoken to find


Details | I do not know? | |

Careless

When it's her birthday,
They don't care.
She wakes up and wonders..
Is this fair?

She doesn't know her rights,
She cannot sleep at night.
She lies in bed,
And listens to her parents fight.

Is this the life,
That you wanted for her?
It's not her fault,
You hate her Father!

Why can't you talk to her?
If you don't, it's wrong.
She only needs your love,
To stay strong.


~Written in 2002 when I was thirteen.~


Details | Free verse | |

Moth, Moth

Moth, Moth
Flickering flame too near,
Attraction to your death
You're too hypnotized to fear
As you flirt with your final breath

Moth, Moth,
Your mother off and
to the side,
Watches you do
your dangerous dance
In frustration she has cried...

Moth, Moth
Return to your Mother Moth's
protective love
Don't dive into that flame
Can't you hear the cries above?

Moth, Moth...
Meth, Meth...
Flickering flames
You fly too close
to untimely death.


Details | I do not know? | |

Little One

Little one you left so quick,
I didn't even get to say goodbye.
Why did you leave little one?
Why did you have to go?
You hurt me and your daddy so,
Knowing we'd never hear your giggles
Or watch you learn to crawl.
Our arms ache to hold you close
And love you so.
We think about you everyday little one
And we will never forget you.
I hope the angels are taking care of you
And that your happy in heaven little one.
We will see you one day
And it will be a joyous occasion.
But until then I shall say goodbye
And never forget that we love you
Our precious baby,
Our gorgeous angel,
Our little one.


Details | Free verse | |

Do you see me?

What do you see when you look at me?
Do you see a lost cause
A hopeless future
Or do you actually see me?, a wounded soul
a child lost in a black pit of emotions swirling around trying to grab onto the right 
one
to either hate or love the women I can not escape from
Saddness I can not share with anyone because they would not understand
They could not understand how this women starves me, not only with my hunger 
but with my body and soul
I hunger for affection, I hunger for her touch, I hunger for her voice
But the most thing of all I hunger for  the women that I use to know
Who use to look at me like I was the last drop of heaven left
But now looks at me like I have fallen from the grace god
Where did this women go
Why did she leave me to be replaced by a women who's heart is hard as stone


Details | Rhyme | |

Forever II

As sad as the saddest song,
Look at the beauty within,
One life leaves us,
Another begins,

This day has been coming,
For such a long time,
We all knew it,
But put it out of our mind.

Now she has left us,
But with such sweet memories,
She looks down from above us,
As we are on our knees.

Our prays are with her,
As with the family,
This time of mourning,
The way life has to be.

She wants us to go on,
Live our lives the best that we can
Mourn for a moment,
Then join in hand in hand.

Pray not just for her,
But for all those past,
Keep her memories,
This way she will last,

Forever


Details | Elegy | |

A Night In December

A day she wouldn't like to remember
Year 2002, 15th of December,
A day she can't forget.
The party that will be talked about for years,
A night that ended good for everyone
For Blair, her night ended in tears.

That night she tried her first drink
6 shots of vodka later she's puking in the sink,
16 years old, yes I know she's young.
James 22, he didn't he didn't care about age,
Blair's drunk, but with sex he still wanted to engage.

James led her to a room and turned the light down low
He reacted with rage when Blair said "no",
I wish no one else will experience that kind of pain.
Blair's now 17, but James still stalk her dreams,
He's not completely out of her life, little Amanda came from his seed.

Now Blair's 31, Amanda's 13 years old
Only through my words her story can be told,
She never wants to relive that night in December,
A night she can't forget
And never wants to remember.