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Mother Confusion Poems | Mother Poems About Confusion

These Mother Confusion poems are examples of Mother poems about Confusion. These are the best examples of Mother Confusion poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

Like a Rock

I carry my mother 
like a rock in my pocket 

that I just can’t seem to throw away 

It serves me 
no purpose, 
it just weighs me down 

~~~
 
When I first found it, 
when I first picked it up 
and started carrying it with me, 

I thought it so beautiful – 
I could look at it for hours 

But, like my mother, 
it never looked back at me, 
never grew warm under my loving gaze 

For the longest, I was blind to that, 
Blind to anything but the beauty, 
blind to the cold, hard, 
beyond-remote nature of the rock,
of my mother,
my stone

~~~

I carry my mother,
a thought without weight

And she’s heavier

and she’s colder

than all the stones
there are

~~~
 
By the time I recognized her 
immutable, emotional unavailability, 
I had run out of joy,
felt depleted of hope –

But I could not,
for the life of me,
stop seeking a beauty, a warmth,
inside her heart

Could not stop
wishing
that one day this stone,
my mother,
deep inside my pocket,

Might just become
its own opposite –

Change from hard to fluid,
from cold to warm

But my rock, my hard burden,
will only turn to water

When my mother
stops being
a stone


Details | Rhyme | |

The Best Mistake

You made the mistake and now,
your afraid to face this day. 

Your thoughts are racing through 
and through.

You wonder if your family looks at
you as a disgrace, but you'er mother
takes you and reasures, your very 
much loved in grace.

Even though your much to young
for this breathing little thing this
has become.

You couldn't just throw it out
like it was a peice of trash.

So you grow up and take the
path that led you to your best
mistake for years to come.


Details | Sestina | |

MIRACLE AT DAWN

No mother would fill up her eyes with tears of woman...
if it weren't for God performing a miracle at dawn,
as she cried out in joy and held her baby in trembling arms
but shed many sweet tears hearing his laughter so loud;
oh, he couldn't see her mommy's face through his tiny eyes,
and it will be long before he'll will utter the first word, " Mom." 

Now that baby sleeps under the attentive look of his mom,
who's too young to become a mature woman;
many visions of this birth crossed her gleeful eyes
she dreamed of the very same words whispered at each dawn,
repeating them in her silly head as if they sounded too loud...
while cradling a pretty doll in her folded arms.

Will she be welcomed home by her parents opening their arms?
Will they reprimand her and not consider her a legal mom?
Perhaps they will not be angry and speak not so loud:
girls are supposed to be girls, not suddenly turn into woman...
So this innocent girl, deceived by a bad boy, must wake up at dawn
when her baby cries and feed him with scary, childish eyes?

Nights seem longer for her, trying to stay awake rubbing her eyes,
what she beheld in those exciting eyes, now it's a burden in her weary arms;
she remembers that pain was too unbearable, but joy more sublime at dawn...
how will she learn how to care for the infant by watching her mom?
She must have seen a nursery or read a book how to think like a real woman,
and can anyone imagine how she keeps that secret instead of revealing it loud?

She must gather enough courage inside to feed her baby who can't cry loud,
but for now she must carry that baby without sighs of distress into her bright eyes;
and her parents can see the changes making her a loving person already woman;
they may ask questions to why she has gained weight and holds dolls in her arms...
no, they aren't anticipating great news and in doubt, they await a splendid dawn.

Mother and daughter closely together amazed by the coming dawn,
any concealed secret can be easily spoken...somewhat joyful and loud;
they imagine the infant's futures will be part of grandma and mom!
Their reunited hearts come together to show love in their delighted eyes,
and they'll take turns feeding the new-born, tenderly lulling him in their arms;
what if forgiveness hadn't been there to deny her all of the joys of woman?

Would a mother deny her daughter compassion as a good woman?
Even God hurried dawn to offer that gift into her gracious, tender arms...
and those arms accepted it with the gentleness and kindness of mom.




Details | Rhyme | |

Riddle-Fiddle-Diddle

;          -A    NOTE-             ;
***DO NOT ATTEMPT TO*** 
***FIGURE THIS OUT*******
***JUST SAY HELLO : - )****
***or  WHAT?? is FINE*******
***If you are here to make a comment!!*
************************************************
((RIDDLES-FIDDLES-DIDDLES ))

My towel is made of silk
That does not make sense at all
I can drink bitter sour milk
Once again no sense at all

My busted line holds a stronghold
Confuse are we
A thieve breaks and leaves me gold
Leaving my thinking incomplete ???

In my dream he cut my head
puzzled ???
My dreams have a path of a flowerbed
Still puzzled ???

White winter shelter when it comes to snow
a riddle, a riddle
Black the night all over covered by coal
this I do not know

I walk and I have no feet
show me!
I speak and I have no mouth
How?

a breathing exercise, wrong as it went
misunderstood 
the stick walking got bent
understanding this  a bit

My boat is flipped upside right at the end of all weathers 
impossible
The grave is empty with dirt, full of feathers 
wise not to ask

((Last but not least))

The  grandmother is tall
The mother came short
The father is black to recall
Some white child of sort
Why the Mexican???


BY: P.D.


Details | Free verse | |

The Price of Love

One day I birthed you into this land
We watched you grow as we held your hand
You sucked your fingers during those years
Then you brought your parents many tears

I cried because I didn’t understand
All these hardships were not in my plan
The choices you made were not just for you
They affected the family too

I vented with friends for oh so long
One day I began writing poems
Poems I wrote came straight from the heart
I wrote about you from the very start

Night after night you would stay away
Deep down in all I could do was pray
I would walk the floors night after night
I learned my son was no where in sight

What did I do to cause all this pain
Why was my heart feeling all this strain
Mom didn’t tell me of these sort of days
I guess this’s the price that love pays


Details | Rhyme | |

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love?

How can we hurt the very ones that we love?
How can we easily neglect our God above?

It seems like I often heard about many victims
Many times, it’s from a loved one who’s been with them!

The hate and the anger that boils from deep within.
Often “boils over” toward our family and friends.

It’s the love of Christ that we need to find!
His love can totally cleanse our life and mind!

The hearts of many families are bruised and broken.
By the harshness of many of the words spoken.

If we would allow Jesus to rule and reign.
We’d have little reason to murmur or complain.

If we would yield our lives to the master’s will…
The emptiness and brokenness, he shall fulfill!

If we could allow ourselves to sit at Jesus’ feet…
He can make any family totally complete!

If we could just listen to what Christ has to say.
His words of life would brighten our day!

As a family…  Won’t you give HIM a chance?
And allow his love to change your circumstance!

Won’t you allow his spirit to bind you together?
You can experience his peace today and forever!

He can change your family throughout!
This is his will and what God is all about!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

Trickle Down Affect

Mother
You have hovered way to long
soured breath down my back  
I forgave but
never was forgiven
for the late nights with Dad 
sitting by his chair in the parlor, 
you in your bedroom 
eyes wide shut 
Counting the seconds, the minutes 
your iron fist at hand 
a child's lesson
the sting, the bruise 
left to heal alone in my room
crying.


Details | Lyric | |

Gotta Let Their Soul Cry

 Raped and Molestated in childhood, 
   Abused and Misused in pre-adulthood,
     Alone and confused they stood; feeling
       like tainted goods.

 Let their soul cry, maybe then; they can
  regain their pride. 

 They gotta let their soul cry

 Their darkest secret's they lock  away
   within, this is why their flesh constantly
    feast off sin; and everything in life has a
     beginning, but never render an ending.

 Let their soul cry, Crying is the only way to
  gain their piece of mind.
   
One might ask," Why"? Then , I will reply,"
  They need to see at least one day filled with
     promise rather than pain and see the sun
        without having rain.
     
 They gotta let their soul cry, before their sin
  cause their flesh to die.


Details | I do not know? | |

Today Is Terrible----

The cracked spine of
the book I dropped
at the call.
A chip in my
windshield left by a
pompous *?#@! in a
red sports car as I
drive to the
service.
Rain expectorating
from an ashen sky as
the dirt is turned.
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
crack in grandma’s
spine from her fall
down the stairs.
The chip in her
amazingly smart mind
after eighteen years
as a teacher.
Tears running,
dripping from my
Mothers ashen face
as she cries “My
mama’s dead.”
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
cracked family
emotions left raw
and empty.
The chip in Grandpas
numb mind at the
gathering… “Where is
Irene she should be
here?”
Faces gone ashen
with dread, do we
leave him numb or
remind him that his
wife is dead?
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
empty silences,
missing the jokes
Grandma used to
crack.
Grandma’s laugh and
her endless smile
which always exposed
that tooth with the
chip in it.
Without her the
world has become
empty, bleak, and
ashen.
Today is terrible.

                   
                   
                   
          Summer
Gratias


Details | I do not know? | |

Can You See Me?

Mommy can you see me?
I can bounce really high!
Maybe with some bouncy shoes
I can visit you in the sky!
I'm seven years old now Mommy.
You've been gone about a year.
I can't wait to see you Mommy, 
and your memories are near.

Mommy can you see me?
Oops- I failed another test.
But I remembered what you told me
and I tried my very best.
I'm ten years old now Mommy.
You've been gone about four years.
I really miss you Mommy,
and I wish you were here.

Mommy can you see me?
Dad went off on me again.
I slit my wrists to ease the pain, 
I have scars all over my skin. 
I'm fourteen years old now Mommy, 
you've been gone about eight years. 
Who are you anyways Mommy?
Thanks a lot for leaving me in tears...

Mommy can you see me?
I'm so glad I finally changed!
In accepted Jesus like you once did
so my life could be rearranged.
I'm sixteen years old now Mommy, 
you've missed the past ten years.
But I'll see you in heaven Mommy, 
and that helps me fight my fears. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Gone

As the tears fall down from my face,
I think about that magical place.
You took me there when I was young,
but that was before the pain begun.
You walked me down the road of life,
preparing me to be a mother and a wife.
You would hold my hand and say have no fear,
mommy's not going anywhere, I'll always be here.
But that was wrong and so were you,
you left me mom, what am I to do?
I've been told life goes on,
but it can't be, because you're still gone.
I pray at night to see you in my dreams,
but you're never there, just terror and screams.
How could this happen, how could this be?
The woman I love so dearly up and left me.
I go to the grave every afternoon,
I sang our favorite song, it was a nice little tune.
But since your gone I've changed some things,
about marriage and babies and diamond rings.
Those things are not important to me now,
I ask myself, how did this happen, when and how?
You let yourself go to that place in the sky,
but it happened so sudden mom, please tell me why?
You left me a note by your bed,
you wrote moments before you ended up dead.
Please tell me why you took your own life,
you were a such loving mother and a dear wife.
You didn't write much, just a few lines,
to tell me you love me, and it would be better in time.
But now that your gone, it's not better at all,
I just lay in my bed, I scream and I bawl.
To know what you done, it's too hard to bare,
I stand at your grave with a cold desperate stare.
You were a daughter, a loving mother, and a dear wife,
Why did you do it mom, why did you use that knife?
I wonder everyday, it's all I think about,
There's only one thing it could be, without a doubt.
You went to a dark place, filled with murder and thugs,
I know why I lost you mom, you could no longer fight the drugs.
You could have reached out and told someone before,
now it's too late, death has already knocked and opened your door. 
I'm sorry, so sorry, I could not see,
the reason you are dead is because of me.
I wasn't there to help when you needed me most,
Now I can't see you, not an image or a ghost.
I've answered my question, I just waited too long,
I know my mistake now, but it's too late, your gone.


Details | Free verse | |

My Baby

A gift like no other gift, 
one that can't be bought
a precious human being, 
deserving the right to live
to exist as we all do, 
but sometimes it just doesn't
happen that way,

A baby of no harm, 
a baby of no sins
a baby of pure love, 
and only innocence

Tender moments, 
carrying wishes
disappointments, 
everyday misses

Sitting there all alone, 
even though 
I was surrounded,
by others

While wondering, 
why it may be
that I am made to suffer,

Wanting nothing more,
but to die
inside and out,

Things happen for a reason,
so I was taught
I'll never know the reason,
but I'll always feel the loss

The loss of my child,
my baby was taken
away from me,
and there is no reason

I constantly ask myself,
why did this happen?
what did I do wrong?

I asked God to save my baby,
to protect us both
I remain here,
but my baby is gone

It seems as if, my whole world,
just fell apart
and all I could do,
was sit back and watch it happen

I found myself, 
feeling lonely
needing someone, 
anyone to hold me

All I could do was cry,
I had to cry, for the sake of myself
for the sake of my baby,
for the sake of my heart
I had to weep

I cried and cried aloud,
hoping to be heard
please father, 
I'll do whatever you want
you have my word,
just please save my baby

I bled so much, 
had so much pain
denied to myself, 
everything would be okay

Crying and pleading,
praying and weeping
became an everyday routine,
it was so hard to believe
this was happening to me,

It's not over yet,
it never will be
everyday and every night,
it's in my memory...










(March 1998)
My sweet baby
you will always be with me...


Details | Rhyme | |

She Died Right There Before Me

To me, she could've said anything
I wanted so badly to hear her say,
"I love you and I'm gonna try."
But all she said is "I just can't stay."
She looked away, I stared her down.
I needed to see her eyes.
She looked at me and that's when I knew...
THIS IS THE DAY MY MOTHER DIES.
She died right there before me.
I watched her fade away.
Her eyes were glossing over
as I begged her "PLEASE, JUST STAY!"
She said goodbye and drove away.
I've learned to deal with loss.
But, now she says "I'm coming back!"
She doesn't know the cost.
To me she's dead, she can't come back.
She'll have to remember the day
that she died right there before me
when she said she couldn't stay.


Details | I do not know? | |

Slow

Slow was the logo he had been wearing since he was born.
Born into a world of poverty and scorn. They look at you funny when your mom is 
destroying her fetus and it's not even born yet. 
9 months of pain in a bubble of insanity. Slowly fading. She didn't know how much you 
were going to be. 
So when the day came and she lied down on the table screaming and breathing. Cussing and 
fussing. Wondering why she didn't keep her silly legs closed.
But then you come around and your eyes were enough to tame her. No more stripping to make 
a dollar, no more crack pipes she wanted to be the perfect mother. She raised you right, 
though she made some mistakes she was really trying. 
Your first day of school she held your hand and cried because you were becoming such a 
little man.
She didn't yet know the hardships that were to come. The boat was solid now but the waves 
were sure to crash it.
The little boy strutted to school he wanted to make his mother proud but he didn't yet 
know he was going to be made a fool. 
First day of class and he could barely read. Teacher's crucified him because he didn't 
know his ABC's. 
From then on he was labeled slow. Got left back in the 3rd grade for him their seemed no 
hope. 
He went from being so determined to blaming his mother, the stress so enormous she 
started the pipe again.
The boy couldn't imagine how much he had hurt her. But he knew hurt as well and for now 
he felt he deserved to be selfish. 
Kids teased him every day, stole his lunch money, called him " slow" and a dummy. He had 
no friends and one day he turned to his mother. 
He said mom why is that every day I go to school and they tease me and I come home and I 
tease you. But you’re silent, you don't ever belittle me. Why is that mommy? He stared at 
her with intelligence in his eyes. The mother was silent for a second and then she looked 
into her baby's eyes and said " Because to me you are golden and even though they might 
not see it I surely know it".The boy looked at his mother and said but how can I be 
golden that's not what anyone says they all say that I’m slow. 
The mother looked at her son and reached out for his hand and slapped it. Didn’t I tell 
you never to listen to what other people say it only matters what you think? What do you 
think?  
The boy gazed into his mother's eyes and said " I think I’m really bright, if you can see 
it and I can see it than that's all I need to know. The mother smiled as he left her that 
day the future seemed bright.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Reasons For Life

I loved once
I had children 
But they were taken from me
They were mine
I loved them and they loved me
I lived for them and they lived through me
They were my light 
Now they're gone.......
Taken from me as if i did anything wrong!
I am a waitress
They said i was too poor to raise children
But i survived
We never had the extras but we had what we needed
There were no name brands but they had clothes
There were no sweets but it rotted your teeth anyway
It was not a palace but we had a home
What we lacked in material we made up for in love
They loved me
And I love them
All we had was each other
But they were taken from me
They are gone
I am alone


Details | Bio | |

Alcoholic

Your eyes are glazed
As if you're already dead.
I'm afraid that the bottle
Has finally gotten to your head.
You sit in your own filth,
And you don't even care.
Have you given up?
You don't even brush your hair.
I wish things could go back
To how they used to be.
Seeing you like this
Really eats away at me.
You swear that you're fine,
But your health is breaking down.
You're stuick in that bottle,
You're beginning to drown.
Let me help you back up,
Give me your hand...
Tell me what's wrong,
I'll try to understand.


Details | Rhyme | |

This poem is my own recovery from Valium O Little White Tablet

‘0 LITTLE WHITE TABLET’

O little white tablet, how I hate you,
I was only 21 years old, when introduced to you.
You looked so innocent, so white, so pure.
I was told you were the answer to everything,
(The cure)
No-one told me, when they introduced me to 
the rest of your family, the yellow and the blue.
The blue being five times stronger than you.
No-one told me of the dangers you held within.
Of all the pain I would have to go through, all the suffering.
No-one told me. YOU would rob me, of eighteen 
years of my life.
That I would be unable to function properly,
as a Mother and Wife.
No-one told me, I would get addicted to you.
Of all the pain and suffering, I would
have to go through.
To get you out of my system, alone took two years. 
Two more years of heartbreak, many, many tears.
Then to find out, I had Agoraphobia.
Several more years, destroyed by fear.
Which a lot of people, say is caused by you.
Not being able to go out, far or near.
Hurting all the ones, I loved so dear.
O little white tablet, how I hate you.
But in the end I was the winner Not you.

This poem refers to prescribed drugs


Details | Ballad | |

I'm Sorry

 im sorry ive caused you pain.
i thank you for sticking by me through everything.
and not giving up on me. i dnt no what
i would do if you had given up on me.
 
Im sorry ive lied to your face and you knew it,
but you still loved me the same as before.
so i thank you.
i dont know if i would be here with you if you had given up on me.
 
im sorry ive broken your trust over and over,
and you still wanna trust me.
i thank you again.
i dont know wat i would have done if you didnt trust me.
 
im sorry ive done things behind your back,
even though i promised you i would never do them.
im sure you knw but you never said anything.
i wish you would have. it would have saved us all alot of pain
 
i thank you for never giving up on me.
i dont no how to tell you how much i love you.
 
mom i love you sooooooo much you wont ever no how much i love u and thank you for everything


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

My Dad

My Dad was Chicagoan.
He would light up a room just like my Mom. 
He loved to fish ! He loved his beer .
He also designed a Octagon home in the 70's 
Built custom by hand . I was very proud of Dad .

Alcohol hit our Family , a curse .
He left my Mom when I was 14 in Illinois.
To renew in California , leaving a trail of tears .
Meeting my step mom , my sisters age .
My 2 sisters they were accepted in her world . 

Not I , I looked too much Like Mom . Told this all my Life . 
She a petite Beauty , RN , real estate Broker .
I did not see why it was wrong to be like mom ?

I moved in with Dad, His new Wife , and 2 sisters 
eventually . All three women were competing for my Father .
I was kicked out at 16 yrs.

Years do pass , you try and accept people places and things .
At the end of Dads life , he was calling me once a week .
I ordered a Engraved Clock for the Fathers day coming.
This was a issue for the Wife and sisters , never invited to his new home , 2 Decades ~My little Brother & I , never wanted .

Dad passed suddenly one sad Spring Day . Not one word from his wife , all 3rd party,  how and when,  Dad Died . being denied the right to his address , even to say goodbye .
Not being able to send my engraved clock . 

 "Dad Passed " received call  from sister whom just stayed a week with me ,  I took her all around the sites here . "1st day I get call , you should come , 2nd Day after , Dad's been cremated already . " It was a lie.

I went anyway , finding the funeral home, the Funeral Director was appalled at the denial displayed.

He insisted I was given 10 minutes alone with Dad , my Birthright to say Goodbye , he was in dismay over the Hostility towards a daughter ~

I get to this room of mean relative's. His sisters , Mine, angry looks , hearing from a Aunt "What is she doing Here ! " I can't give nor reason or rhyme. 

 Shame to you and all that participated that wicked day.
 Are you Glorified with Power?  Denied the right to grieve , 

 Left with no sane answers to give in hatred received by Blood . Some , just Spouses , telling me I had no right to Say Goodbye to my own Father , My DAD .

My Dad wanted me there , I know he did . I love Him and will never forget , his youngest girl whom looked like Mom . I know in my heart and dreams he speaks. 
 We all see when we leave . May God not allow any Son or Daughter to go through such Evil.

Thank-you Poetry Soup for returning my voice .


Details | Burlesque | |

Redneck FATHER'S DAY------

***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***



"Storm over yet...?"

"Well hay'ell ye'ah! 
 woo-hoo!
 sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
 whadda'bou  that boy th'er?
 sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"

"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"

"Wha'choo sayin? 
 wha'th'a?
 na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
 shoot! 
 'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm! 
 torna'durr warnin' too!
 he gonna have him'a cole burr;  
 on me!"
 my treat!
 mama, git him'a cole burr! 
 ro'tt now; 
 ya'here?
 besides...
 ta'days father's day!" 



© 2011  ~JSLambert Esquire

   










Details | Limerick | |

Slam Hurts!!!!!....

.                  Slammed by
Mother...President...Teacher...Poet...&...Form


            A MOTHERS LOVE
Mother always called me a lousy kid, with a shove
I was the only kid she wanted to get rid of
On my head she always smacked me hard.
She would always slam me calling  me a retard
My mother gave me the best slamming love.

((( my mother the best slammer there ever was)))
_______________________________________________
           WE ARE THE WORLD
Slam back at any country, at any given event
I feel bad for any so called President.
"WE THE PEOPLE" the Republic and the Democrat.
Slamming each other talking crap. 
In a world full of slam and argument.

((( The world toughest fight is slam not war )))
_______________________________________________                 
              TEACHERS PET
Our teachers kept on and on how we where wrong with a fuzz.
She just stood there and slammed each and everyone of us.
Making us write an essay on broken rules.
Kept us all after school calling us stupid fools
Who knew teachers where allowed to slam and cuss?

((( Teachers words of slam can ruin any future )))
______________________________________________
             ROAD BLOCK
Have you ever heard of a poet blocker.
All they are is a slam stocker
They over abuse their blocking right.
Trying to make other poets fight.
Always trying to slam a point across, like a mocker.

((( Hating against any form of poetry is a slam it self )))
_____________________________________________
            JUDGING CONTEST
Can you guess that slam is just a risky business
Picking out the best slam words from the rest.
Testing out a form we don't know how to let it  flow.
Darn the soup for putting slam on the box below.
Even the best have join my slamming contest.

((( Thank you Soup for SLAMMING us with your A-Z list-form)))
_____________________________________________


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Rhyme | |

Sister, Sister

Mother Superior faced a daunting task,
Like no other in her forty years.
She had prayed it simply wasn’t so,
That Godly intervention might belie her fears.

But sadly, there was no such intervention,
No relief from the duty she did rue.
Despite her hopes and all her prayers,
It had been confirmed.  What she feared was true.

So, she gathered all the Sisters after Vespers.
The impromptu meeting caused quite a stir.
There was murmuring as they filed into the chapel.
She hesitated for a moment... but no, she was sure.

“Sisters, I asked you all here to share some news.
It’s something I never thought I’d have to say.
We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.”
Mary Catherine, a Sister for sixty years, said, 
“Oh, thank God.  I’m so tired of Chardonnay.” 


Details | Villanelle | |

mother WHO i HATE

Mother, mother can't you see?
How much are you putting the needle,
Deep inside of  my heart?
I know the pain won't go away!
I know you are blind to see the truth!

Pain pain pain,
When will you go away?
Anger, hate & discouragement
Always comes my way!
What am I supposed to do?
I feel alone deep inside,
I feel the empty pressure against my chest,
In a prison of hate,
I am sick of the people who I love,
Betraying me & ruining the trust,
God above who sees your actions,
I hope He will never forgives you,
For you who keep on sin.

One day you will see 
Throw my eyes & my pain,
One day you will stop on pretend,
Realize your mistakes,
It will be too late,
I will be gone far away,
I will never come back again!


Details | Narrative | |

Don't Leave Me

I can't imagine being alive without you
I can't imagine what it will be like when your gone
I don't know what I'll become without you
Maybe I'll just run
Run away from everything and leave everyone behind
Maybe I'll find a way to be close to you
Because I won't believe you died 
My heart will ache so much more 
Tears will always run
My eyes will hold the wisdom 
That you bestowed upon me young
And my recklessness will be noticeable
People will wonder why
Why am I running when the person I needed most died
How can I face my life when I can't do anything right
I won't believe you have gone away
When God decides to take you
I'll still come by your house and always expect an answer
I Love You Gamma
You Taught Me About My Heritage  
Please Remember Me When God Takes You
Please Guide Me In the Right Way


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

To a Dead Man

You Drive me into this Malice, into this Maze I can only see the last of days Your Creation Failed With Me Burn with malice as you bridge to the plains of ennui


Details | Narrative | |

Puzzled Pieces

It was a dazzling day.
In the park where we gathered.
I watched the sprinkler spray.
Whilst Oleander got lathered.

A pierce of minty laughter.
Came from my mother.
The day, now full swelter.
Brought mephitic curses, from father.

My mother,
A piece, of distinct edges, shapes, and color.
My Father’s piece,
Gossamer... A ghost in the Parlor.

My aunt buzzes ‘round,
Looking to peck.
Her greatest skill,
Tearing wealth from flesh.

She is an ugly thing,
Constantly tithing kin.
Her tabs busted,
Only darkness within.

My uncle walks water,
Crying divine inspired droll.
Then he sees foreign breasts,
And his eyes start to roll.

He is piously loathsome,
A delusional winner.
His piece, contrasting color,
A chronic Casanova of a sinner.

My grandmother sits,
By a row of briar’s.
From here smelling sweet,
Closer and the peril gets dire.

She is a dandy,
Addicting to be around.
But when her corner piece shows,
It can cut to the ground.

My grandfather rests,
In the middle, on a bench.
The tether that keeps,
We are bolts, He is wrench.

His piece.....
To us much renowned.
His piece is the core,
It holds me around.

There it is, my family puzzle.
And on the fringes I sit.
See, I’m an edge piece,
That doesn’t quite fit.
With my teeth on a muzzle.

03/04/13







Details | Lyric | |

UNNOTICED, UNSEEN

I woke up one day
Unnoticed, unseen
The sparrows were chirping
Did not mind me between

I poked them gently
The sparrows got scared
Seeing them fly
I went mad

I ran out into the streets
Naked and free
Hurled pebbles on passersby
Watched them flee with glee

I felt like a king
In this blind men’s paradise
Shocking poor fellows at will
Making fun of their cries

I was shaken hard
By someone I could not see
I rubbed my eyes
Could see only darkness around me

It was my mother
She put me on her lap
Tears filled my eyes
As I went into recap

I wished my dreams were true
I could see the world go blind
Why O Lord, 
You robbed away my sight
What was my fault, 
You made me Blind


Details | Kyrielle | |

Raven's End

I know that taking my life is a sin,
But you don’t know how much pain I am in;
Death is better than this hell I’ve been through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

My tortured soul robs me of breath,
All I seek is the release of death;
Requesting redemption in the gun I cling to,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

I’m considering briefly the life I must end,
Nothing is left but the chance to transcend;
And this decaying body that I pass through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

Raven they named me, but now they are gone,
I’m all alone since they both passed on;
Soon I will see them, it’s long overdue,
God grant me mercy for what I must do;

I beg for forgiveness as I let myself go,
Tears trickle down as I feel my heart slow;
Hopefully now I’ll get to see you,
So God grant me mercy for what I must do.


Tirzah Conway
~For the contest "Among the Dead"~


Details | Quintain (English) | |

Mother, Middle Aged

Mother, Middle Aged.


Forlorn, she sinks into the abyss of a middle aged
mother,  her pupae no longer the apple of her eye.
Baffled, she sees her cocoon torn open and barged 
hastily, fumbling in quest of sham grown ups’ pride.
A mother she remains, middle aged. Spiteful and void.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Painful Thanksgiving Night

A Painful Thanksgiving Night… As I sit here this Thanksgiving night I can do nothing else but write. My family’s in the other room So, why do I feel all this gloom? When we arrived late last night I thought for sure I would be alright. Even though it took everything in me To take that 3 hour drive you see. Each and every time I come All I want to do is run. Run away and never turn back A family bond I sure do lack. A mother’s love is what I crave But a hug and money is all she gave. My sisters and I we try and try To understand mother as the years go by. But nothing about her ways makes sense She’s cold and hard and always on the defense. Through the years she’s done much wrong But the love of my mother I still do long. Though the bad memories of her will never erase I prayed through my kids they might be replaced. Maybe they would chase away her pain And my love for her would not be in vain. When they’re around her it’s clear to see There’s nothing left, no mystery. Who she is; is what she’ll be All I see is a repeat of history. A history filled with hurt and pain To protect my children I must break the chain. This chain has bound me in so many ways It almost claimed my life - on several days. Lay


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

As my Mother Slips Away

I called my mother the other day- just to listen to her voice
She answered dear Steve – yes this is me- how are you this day
I said I was fine- it has been some time- I searched for more words to talk
She cantered a bit then came to a halt- as I began to say 
Mother dear- this is Mark- how are you today 
Mark she replied- I have a Mark- he was the oldest of three
How is school - are you making good grades- are you coming home real soon
I told her I would- If only I could- would she know me anyway
I visited my mother the other day- at a home for Alzheimer patients
Her stare in the air- made it be known- that she could not remember
I sat by her side- we nibbled on crackers- we looked out the window pane 
Then I was father- she told me she miss me –I cried a thousand tears
She reached for my hand- I did not resist- I was blessed to make her happy
How are you Tom- I said I was fine- The kids will be home soon
I told her it’s time- I must go home - I have to work tomorrow 
I took her hand- I’ll see you soon- Goodbye Steve she told me

As my Mother slips away today- how precious are my memories
For after this world –I can hardly wait- for my Mother to recognize me


Details | Narrative | |

My Story Telling Can You Trust Me

Gun fire all around, bombs going off in the distance
It was some of the angry mobs and resistance
Father was the king of SafeHaven a small kingdom
Like all other kingdoms it fell in random
Fire started in the castle
And along with it came a battle

It was a distance memory now because the child has now grew
Many things in this child that made memories stew
My name is Mastrey, a young orphan who was there that night
Mastrey saw her in the distance and her father and mother in his sight
Everyone was loud that night and made all the children hide
But that evening Mastrey saw her mother and father die

She ran into the bushes in such a fright
And evil doers were running around with flashlights
Mastrey remember it as he distracted them 
Her eyes was so confused with problems
Mastrey new that it was because of what just occurred
His feelings of what those people did was not awkward

The distraction worked, he went back to were she was
Hiding and very scared she was, he asked her, can you trust me just because?
Her answer that night depended on her lively hood
As Mastrey was their with his hand reaching out to her as he stood
Pulling her up from the ground he looked into her eyes that were SeaBlue
Mastrey had made a life long friend and love, She knew it was true

Next: My Story Telling,  Who is this Princess


Details | Rhyme | |

I Know Of Someone Holding Unforgiveness


I Know of Someone Holding Unforgiveness! I know of someone holding unforgiveness! This has led to a life of much bitterness! Toward his brother, he’s held on to a grudge. From his viewpoint, he won’t even “budge.” No matter what God’s word has clearly spoken… He’s walked with a heart that’s been broken! His son prayed that God would speak to him! That he would forgive, so God could heal him! Forgiveness is a powerful thing to do! If you want God’s mercy to flow through you! We’re not called to “hold back,” the love God’s given! Through Christ shed blood… We’re all forgiven! May the love of Christ come and touch us! It’s no secret how much God really loves us! Please come Lord Jesus! And touch our soul! May we express your love, wherever we go! May God’s gentle love, be what always binds us! HIS words; “love one another,” do remind us! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

We Need To Honor Our Parents

May We Honor Our Parents…

I know of many parents who tried their best to raise their kids.
Many of their hearts cry because of how their children live.

There’s many who’ve tried to teach their children God’s holy ways.
What was taught, seems to be lost…  In a matter of days.

Many parent’s pray for their children’s lives.
Many of their children choosing to live a life of “lies.”

Scripture says to honor our parents, 
that our days may be long.
But any kind of honor to them…, 
Many feel doesn’t belong!

The advice and warnings from parents 
seem to be ignored.
Many of their children say they’re 
“too old fashioned and bored.”

There’s a message for the young people that needs to be clear!
You need to honor your parents! 
 One day they shall “disappear!”

God gave us the parents we have, 
whether we accept this or not.
We need to think about the things that our parents taught!

May we seek to live lives that will bring honor and grace.
In our hearts, may we keep our parents in a “special place!”

May we share from our hearts, the love our lord has given!
May we share his love while
 our parents are still livin’!

The love we can give our parents is a treasure untold!
The gift of having parents is more precious than gold!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Quatrain | |

A Mother's Son......For Dustin Cunningham

A smile that warms her heart.
 With bright, shining Angel eyes.
Soon his whole world would fall apart.
 When he sadly watched as his Mother dies.

No one to listen or believe what he saw.
 For years the truth lie in wait.
Each passing day, the pain made him raw.
 And for his step-dad rose a new level of hate.

A troubled youth is what he'd come to be.
 Violence, drugs and alcohol to deal with the pain.
When the truth came out it didn't set him free.
 Watching for Santa as his Mother was slain.

After years, Justice was served for his Mother's death.
 But her kids would have no justice at all.
They would never hold her again so they remained bereft.
 She'll never be there for them to hug, kiss or call.

She loved her kids, especially her eldest son.
 She was taken too soon by a drunk, selfish bully.
He didn't care who he hurt or what he did to anyone.
 Its not something her children could understand fully.

Her son now sits in his own personal Hell.
 Taken away from society to pay for his unrelated crimes.
So now he stays in that six by six prison cell.
 Hoping that he'll heal in a matter of time.

I'm here for him and I remain his friend.
 I wait for that shine to return to his now haunted eyes.
For that smile to brighten from his sad, dull grin.
 I'm someone who can love him and quiet his cries.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Rain and Wind

The wind blew events all over the place.
Intense emotions and it gave chase.
Lightning lighting to show us the sky.
People try to sleep and not cry.
Wisping by the wind keeps us awake.
The time trying to sleep the storms take.
Chills in everyone gives all shiver.
The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver.
Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop.
The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop.
People have seen such devastation.
The road that people made was week in creation.
Rivers near by was over flowing.
Trees that were there was not showing.
By the hour it claimed many.
My father woke up and did not see any.
Floating by was a boat.
Keeping people above water and a float.
My father kept a canoe.  
That some day we would use it, that he knew.
Time to paddle up and down the street.
The rain water kept getting on our seat.
It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud.
Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud.
The smell of moist water never seem to go away.
My brothers seem to still sleep anyway.
My head was bobbing up and down.
I was so tired that I could not hear a sound.
The wind blew back and fourth.
It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth.
Till all the people we saw with grace.
Help us out with embrace.
The time was so late at night.
Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight.
The fight with the weather was so hectic.
The feelings of energy was electric.
Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand.
When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand.
With hard workers like my mom and dad.
They make things happen that is not bad.
Rough with weather they experience more than ever.
Leaders they are they are very clever.
From the night light of street lights to the morning glow.
The wind did not stop so.
Bringing in more clouds that ill.
The people who were still tired still had will.
The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side.
Pushing and the force brought water inside.
The battle of our hour was getting long.
Backup people came to aid us was strong.
Rested they were to keep everyone with hope.
The people stopped the water with the strength of rope.
Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together.
It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather.
Chaos comes happiness how true.
This is why we are human that gives us a clue.
It is our nature to keep rain falling.
To know when it is time for our calling.
The winds bring such pain and sorrow.
That is why rain sometimes fallow.








Details | Lyric | |

A Confession to Tell

I have a confession to tell
and I don't know where to start.
It is something I have hidden
for many years.
Something I wouldn't let myself have.
I've had many fears about this.
Fear you would reject me.
Fear of disappointing you,
of hurting you in some way.
I denied this for so long,
it became the norm.
I tortured my soul over it,
for so many years.
I want you both to know
how much I love you
and I would never do anything
to intentionally hurt you.
You both gave me so much
even when we didn't have much.
You both did a great job raising me
and I think I turned out okay.
You taught me good life lessons,
a hard work ethic, honesty, and loyalty.
Up until now, I have led my life
the way I did for fear
you would disapprove of me and
that would be too much for me to bear.
I then realized, I wasn't truly happy.
I wasn't being me.
During this time, I met someone,
who made me very happy.
They saw the real me hiding inside
and loved me for it.
I now know true happiness.
I have debated and contemplated
in my mind of how to tell you both.
It is something I could
never imagine doing before.
I didn't know how to tell you
no matter how much I wanted to.
I want you to know
that you did nothing wrong.
I love you both very much.
Please don't think any less of me
because of this, but...
Mom, Dad, I'm gay.


Details | Burlesque | |

Suburban Spring

Suburban Spring	
(4.15.10)


	Springtime fills the air, 
			like laughing gas.
		(Or maybe more like whiskey.)
The suburbs are drunk on the nectar of it's dawn.
	Middle-class houses 
			are starting to dance.
		(Or maybe they're just wobbling.)
They vomit whole families onto their lawn.

			I watch them the same way dogs watch TV:
				Confused and intrigued, 
		with a slight urge to pee.

	The father cuts grass, 
			like a sleepwalker.
		(Or maybe more like a zombie -
Ravenous for cheap beer, instead of brains.)
	A six pack later, 
			he starts washing his car.
		(Or watering his driveway.)
He's spreading on wax so he's set when it rains.

	The mother kneels in dirt, 
			tending the garden.
		(More like digging in a sandbox.)
Her spade is rusty.  (Figuratively, at least.)
	A sunset later, 
			she cooks family dinner.
		(Or maybe orders some pizza.)
(If every mouth is fed, she can call it a feast.)

			I watch them the same way dogs watch TV.

	The son plays war games, 
			dying for fun.
		(Or maybe more for practice.)
He whines about fruit drinks, as well as the heat.
	A full pitcher later, 
			tweaking on sugar,
		(Or maybe just corn starch.)
the war escalates, 'til its time to go eat.

	The daughter makes a picnic, 
			inviting her toys.
		(Or maybe not.)
(Her plastic spread can only spread so thin!)
	After the tea time, 
			she's off picking flowers.
		(Or maybe weeds.)
(As long as they're pretty, there's a vase that they'll fit in.)

		They gather, as a family, at the table to say grace.
		They hold each others' hands and say, "Amen."  
			(And proceed to stuff their face.)

	The dog sits by the boy - 
			Loyal and true.
		(Or maybe just hungry.)
He drools as he stares from the corners of his eyes.
	After dinner, 
                     he offers to help with the dishes.
		(Or maybe he demands it.)
The boy sneaks him a bite.  The dog is not surprised.

	Bedtime comes soon after.  
			The kids are sent to brush their teeth.
		(Or maybe just to run the sink.)
They put on their jammies, and to bed, they go.
	After tucking them in, 
			the parents watch TV.
		(Or maybe they just dream they do, 
					sleeping in its glow.)

	The dog is changing channels, 
			looking for a better show.
				Confused and intrigued, 
		he pees on the carpet below.


Details | Rhyme | |

No Job Can't Pay the Bills TRY JESUS


Here I sit, uncertain of what lies ahead.
I’m still wondering how my family will be fed.

I once had a job that provided a sense of “security.”
Now I don’t…  And I have a lot of uncertainty!

I have unpaid bills, and I’m not sure what to do.
I’ve asked for help.  But not sure who to turn to!

I get discouraged, and feel life “pulling me down.”
I’ve tried just about every job that’s in town.

The dreams I had, have been shattered and smashed.
At times, I feel like I’m just “a piece of trash.”

My wife tried to support me, the best that she can.
But she doesn’t know me…  Or even understands!

Dear Jesus…  You’re the only left that I haven’t tried.
There’s been many nights I laid awake and cried!

I read in the Bible, where your love for me is real!
When I call on your name...  There’s a love I can feel!

Whatever happens, please help me Lord, to trust you!
Whatever tomorrow holds, may I still love you!

I know that you’re a foundation, that I can stand on!
Jesus is a friend!  That I can always depend on!

Jesus, if I lose everything that I have or that I hold on to...
My I always remember your faithfulness
 and never forget you!

Here I stand… With my burdens lifted from me!
It’s because of Jesus!  And how much he loves me!

I praise HIS name!  And lift my hands to the sky!
He’s in control now!  I don’t have to ask the reason why!

Jesus…  Please take control of my worries and desires!
Above all of my problems, I lift your name up higher!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Hope

The phone rings innocently.
Who is at the other side?
Could be no one then yet a peculiar feeling tells
me it is the bearer of bad news.
Still I answer hoping I am wrong.
My mother is ill, trapped between two worlds; 
the worlds of fear and courage.
My ears hear every word but my mind has created a 
sudden barrier that nothing seems to
penetrate like some sort of
steel web of unwanted denial.
Fear floods my body like a torrent
river flow, eroding strength
and stability.
How much longer can I bare it?
Never it seems but hope still glimmers 
regardless of how dim.
Miles are between us, 
I feel numb and unexpectedly lost.
Where am I?
It’s certainly not here in the presence 
of fallen angels.
The bell of hope strikes a sharp note creating a 
gentle chime awaking my
senses to the news,
they are sharpened making
the fear of loss suddenly
commanding, corrupting my
inner strength making it weak.
I continue to listen all the 
while my body is screaming
in protest.
The voice stopped, I hung up,
the pain and fear never lessened.
Time went by all the while my
mind was constantly in a state
of anguish and grief.
Endless stories were created,
each one worse than the last.
My family begun to shatter like
a broken mirror, reflecting only
the scars of misery and needless
hurt.
Hope still glimmered but appeared
distant and out of reach.
My mind grew tender, endless misery
has eaten away at my last thoughts
of happiness.
The sting of fear created heartache
for the bond between mother and child
was nearly severed,
severed by the hands of
an unwanted deity.
A deity of life itself.



Details | Narrative | |

And Sometimes Why

I hoped to be with you today 
That once again we two might play
True friends forever we will stay
One thing that will not go away
Why

A funny thing you’re asking me
For there is nothing wrong to see 
This time I thought it best to be
With friend awhile and live care free
Why

Again persistent question why
Pounds at my doors for its reply
No longer can my sighs deny
A friend who really needs to cry
Why

For breakfast Mama didn’t show
And where she went he didn’t know
He didn’t even see her go
What made my mother behave so
Why

I don’t know why I’m telling you
With all the pain that you’ve been through
We’ve always been like brothers true
There nothing that we two can do
Why


Details | Ballade | |

Sad girl rising


Sad girl rising

Let me tell you about this girl I know
My cousin, this girl be
Her life has been so very sad
But how wonderful is she
She was a wild child, till she married
And had her first born child
When she found out that his brain was damaged
It really drove her wild.

She took the Doctor through the courts
Then fought for ten long years
To get the money she deserved
And she cried so many tears
She gained a million pound at last
To help her with the lad
And yet the damage it was done
And it really drove her mad.

Her and her hubby cared for he
And gave their lives to him
It was a twenty four, seven job
But at times it got real grim
She would do just anything
To make his life more sweet
But when she got that Parkinson’s
She was close on to defeat

But no, she struggled with the odds
And though it’s ten years on
Never does this girl give up
When all her hope seems gone
She smiles, and carries on with courage
Like I’ve never seen before
She’s something kind of wonderful
She’s a hero, that’s for sure.

30 July 2o13 @ 1043hrs.


Details | Couplet | |

Where does the Time go

I feel as though time is slipping away,
And more is gone each passing day…


Details | Free verse | |

The Teen

How do you say you love them?
They declare they don’t need you.
Then they ask if their clothes are clean.
You fix their lunch, and then they tell you to go away.
You give them lunch money so others won’t see you’ve fixed their lunches.
You give them the car, yet they won’t call to say they’ve arrived safely.
You tell them to pay attention when driving, but learn with the first real scare.
They say they can drive, then will wreck the car in the first year of solo driving.
They hug their girlfriends, but don’t want you around.
They need you in troubles, but can’t stand you in peace.
They go beyond the limits, then sneer at your demands.
They need help but won’t listen to your advice.
They need help but will try to do it all alone.
They want to be on their own, but depend on you.
They go off alone, but will keep coming back for yet a while.
They love you but will never say so.
They hate the situation they’re in, but aren’t ready to leave.
They think they’re ready for everything, but they’re not.
They think they’re ready to be alone, but the world won’t let them be.
I love my teen and will worry when he finally leaves.
His relief will be tinged with fear.
He will always be welcome back home, but may not come.
I will miss him and he will miss me, though he will never admit it.
He thinks I don’t understand how things are today, because I’m old.
Technology changes, but the emotions of growing up are always the same.
Needing to go forward, but feeling trapped remains the same with each generation.
Being held back by time, conventions, laws, and rules never changes.
I understand, they’re just too young to realize that I do.
I do understand, because I’m already standing in the world he wants to enter.
You will know they care after they’ve left home and call home to hear your voice.
Someday they may even come home, kiss you, and say thanks.

Contest: Coming of Age  2nd place


Details | Narrative | |

Female Companion

                                                     She is so typical
                                                           So critical
                                                   For most part difficult

                                   I never really could grasp her in such way
                                       She just wants me to some how stay
                               She comes to my man cave and makes me obey

                                          Shy she was and now I am scared
                                              In such way I almost cared
                              She thinks she can do everything for me I swear

                         She makes me guess everyday but I keep on believing
     Because it is fun to give her a kiss, while she does not know when she is sleeping
                She stresses out but I will tell her my love for her keeps deepening

                So for the most part I just keep her close to make her smile and me
                                When I do things I do it for her it is always a key
            Call me romantic or call me stupefied, but it makes her so, so, sooo, happy


Details | Ballad | |

A Dead Girl's Final Wish

Music is my home,
Written when I am alone.
Nobody is hear to save me as I slash
 my wrists and they turn scarlet.
 My mother and father walks through the door,
 my mother screams and ,
my father seems dazed,
The doctor say if it was not for the fact,
 That my heart was not strong i would have survived,
The boy and girl who pushed me to commit sucide,
 spits  and dance on my grave,
they defile it and call me names,
 even though i am dead i will still hear them,
talk and say mean things,
to my mother and father,
They spread rumors that are untrue,
A voice calls out and asks me what
I want to do?
 I cry out let me live give me a second chance,
I'll grant you this calls the voice,
The next thing I know I am in a hospital in the intensive care unit,
I try to speak my mother puts her finger to my lips she is crying,
i Had been on the way to the morgue when my eyes open and i started to breathe,
The same bestfriend who i have known all my life has finally shown her jealous side 
 and called me a witch, and a zombie, or even a creature from hell.
They Took her to the other side of the hospital and put her in the physchartric unit,
The boy went to jail for attempted murder and i knew i had a plan lined all out for me


Details | Lyric | |

Nature's Sigh

The Black butterfly waves away her adorations
All she seeks is seclusion, subsuming slave to mortification
The Dear Air is all she can breath, captive of imaginary dreams
The Beacon resonates, but the hope isolates
The Wasteland's silky fingers caressing the virgin's face

So she is now, the covet of the damned
Programmed to every victim's pain
Carrying the weight of every sorrow
Drowning in wrongs she does not know
But paradise is at loss; she must go

Nature sighs after the bite
All my hopes fading
Don't look at me with those sorrowful eyes
How do you know exactly what I'm feeling?
I'm just the ghost flower passing by
And you can hear nature's sigh


Details | I do not know? | |

mama

mama how do i tell you its bad again
how the voices are telling me its okay to hurt
they want me to fall
to fall from the top of buildings 
and not get up
but don't worry mama
i plan to shut them up

mama how do i explain how the pain has returned
all you wanted was me to be better
i tried and tried and tried and tried
but in the end, the crazy won
they drive me crazy to no end
i want to make it stop 
but don't worry mama
i have a plan

mama i cant tell you how it feels
to be sunken to the depths of earth
angels are soaring above me
but their happy gazes hurt
i need this incessant chatter to go
to hurt me, to hate me 
it all feels so real
but don't worry mama
it wont soon

mama i can see the look in your eyes
it hurts me too that this is goodbye 
cant you see this is the only way 
for the voices to vanish but my body stay
goodbye and farewell 
ill miss you so much
but don't cry mama
ill be better now


Details | Rhyme | |

America Is Being DESTROYED From Within

 

As sin and perversion often become integrated… So many lives and families are being “disintegrated.” Many are being driven by sin’s temptation force… It’s no wonder much of this country is way “off course.” The morality and values that once made a great nation. Are evaporating…. Leading to a “spiritual separation.” Love, honor, and respect of God… Is often a “thing of the past.” Anything of God seems to be disappearing FAST! God is our only hope! And him alone! Only he can bring healing to our broken homes! He’s the answer to this wounded nation, that bleeds! It’s only God that can meet all of our needs! He’s our provider… The great: “I am!” Won’t you reach out to him? And give him your hand? Why not give him a chance? And allow him in? A brand new life for you… Is waiting to begin! May we allow God’s holiness and love to reach down into our hearts… Asking; “Lord please forgive our sins!” Is a good place to start! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Concrete | |

Observer

A serpent underneath blue sky,
in shade of man, in twinkle of an eye,
above brick wall, in the structure, at the floor,
venom of white dove; contaminated food, undrinkable water,
misguided youth, pregnant daughter, unfaithful father and hateful son,
mothers do pray while we walk through Babylon;
on teli and in the press, on top shells,
price none the less, in bedroom and at your door..
dawn of a new day seemed to be dark,
after all.


Details | Alliteration | |

Writer Crazy

Life is so crazy/ 
Death so busy it never get's lazy/ 
Thoughts blurred and blinded by true lies that they always get hazy/ 
The mother ****ing devil is always trying to chase me/ 
But I'm stronger than that I won't ever let *****like that ever ****ing faze me/
 I no longer care if any muther ****ers want to over or under rate me/ 
I've already been ****ing up on my own lately/ 
I take your ****ing criticism greatly/ 
*****es I'm too real for any of you fake mother ****ers to fake me/ 
I'm too ****ing still in God's foundation to let the devil shake me/ 
I'm the general, the king of my own *****nobody can't ever break me/ 
**** what people say for I am the maker of my own *****people can't ever make me/
 I'm the leader and deliverer of my own *****you can never take me/ 
Who want to question *****about *****mother ****ers thats why I'm Writer Crazy.....


Details | Sonnet | |

Brave like you

 I find myself not , eating, thinking, and sleeping
Sometimes , not doing things right in my life
The many obstacles , Im going threw
Just to reach one goal
The many blocks, I walk
Day or Night

Sometimes confuse on time
Wishing it was a dream
The moment , I heard 
You went to sleep
All, I keep saying is 
Who , understood me like you
For the many reasons 
I love you

I appreciated everything, you did
From the braveness, you gave my soul
The gentleness, in your words
For each teardrop, you wiped off my face
Now, my teardrops seem to reach the ground
While , I look in (Heaven)
Praying your looking down

Showering this fear off my skin
Feel my feet
They're so weak
But , for you 

I get on my knees
Singing and crying, to God
That my angel is you
So , I can whisper in your ear
Mama, make me brave
Brave like you

June 8th 2012


Details | Senryu | |

lost behind fragile glass

she smiles cautiously

as if she knows who I am....

I live on her nightstand





_________________________________________________
For Senryu Contest: Sponsered by Black Eyed Susan




Details | Free verse | |

Unspoken Love

She saved herself from pick up lines though she looked vulnerable
She's sooo lovable her heart definition could ruin my poetic abilities 
You cannot put a price on her she's not billable
If only her lips where adjustable my soft poetry would define her inabilities and weaknesses for the mute to scream happily ever after  
She's untouchable i O you an explanation
Her tears tattoo broken spirits uploaded on instagram
She's no twitter baby though followers invite themselves its unbelievable
I could throw nice verses in our conversation but i'm afraid i'm love blind 

I'll tell you more about her if you ask me....ask me nice


Details | Free verse | |

Life Can Be Cruel

I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
Wondering...
When is Mum, coming for me?

"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"

I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now

I wish God 
Could make my Mum
Magically appear
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
Disappear!

“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!

I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if 
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own

A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!

Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Dirty tears
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm

“What am I going to do?”

“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?

“Is my life worth living?”

Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!


Details | I do not know? | |

Blank Page

i'm a blank page
empty
waiting for someone 
to leave their mark
empty
words fill the page
my life's words
marred by scars inflicted
by another
gashes, cuts
but still empty
but wish it wasn't 
pieces are torn and lost 
words faded and worn
stains of blood and tears
fill the spaces
a filthy piece of paper
and yet it's still empty


Details | Rhyme | |

The Ugliness Of Divorce


My parents taught me the Christian ways.
I was taught to obey what the Bible says.

I was proud of my parents!  I really was!
And loved them so much…  Just because!

They meant everything to me!  I was proud!
Until one day...  There appeared “a dark cloud.”

It was like a “darkness” hovered above.
Leaving their marriage empty of needed love!

Though they were together many years.
There were many cracks that soon appeared.

I say a once happy home soon destroyed.
Being with one another….  They no longer enjoyed!

How could this happen! I had wondered…
To see a happy marriage “totally plundered

As sin crept in...  And allowed to prevail.
Very soon this marriage simply failed.

May this be a warning for me and you…
That our commitment remains faithful and true!

If your marriage is heading toward separation…
Please seek God for a healing and restoration!

If your planning to have a divorce..
Jesus’ love can put it on the right course!

He can replace the brokenness and hurt within..
And can put your lives back together AGAIN!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

You're my what....?!

           This is not my WORLD.

           You're my WORLD.

           You're my EVERYTHING.

           You're the FLOWERS, the GRASS, 

           You're my THOUGHTS,

           You're my EVERYTHING.
            
           This is not my WORLD.
           You're my WORLD.
                     
          So now.....
                be part of my.....
                                    LOVE.



                  *please comment if you don't mind, i'd really like to know your thoughts 
(fav poem if you like)*
                                                  
                                                            -Angel4eva23


Details | Light Poetry | |

Complicated Family Tree

Rory and Cory are brothers.
They have the same father
but they have different mothers.
Their mothers are sisters.
That makes Rory and Cory cousins
as well as being brothers.
Rory’s mother is Cory’s aunt
and Cory’s mother is Rory’s aunt.
Cory is Rory’s mother’s nephew
and Rory is Cory’s mother’s nephew.
Rory and Cory have a very
complicated family tree.


Details | Verse | |

Through A Prison Glass

You came unexpectedly, and i was surprised,
you smiled and placed your hand on the glass and cried.
I leaned my head against the glass and told you i am sorry,
i whisper through the phone line, ill start a new story.

You knew i was innocent but you still didn't believe me,
the only person i thought that would stay by my side but you couldn't be. 
Mom standing by your side and not wanting to talk,
i got really upset that you came at all cause i didn't want to see you walk. 

I needed you, when i was in need,
i was there for you when ever you didn't want to bleed.
I loved you and i cherished you with all my heart,
but before you left your words hit me like a really sharp dart.

You said i failed you,
you cried to me and i knew it was true.
But i needed you to understand me,
but you went your way and upset me.

The glass is now empty and i cant find you even with the fact that I'm out,
i tell you i love you but all you do is shout. 
I've lost you for good this time, 
so i think i have to do one more crime. 


Details | Free verse | |

My Mama

My Mama she trips out in the moon light
when I’m safely tucked up in bed
she dresses to wow her audience
but I know not of her occupation
when I ask I am greeted by silence
and then “You will understand when you grow up”

My Mama she returns at break of day
before the curtains begin to twitch or draw
she’ll come in exhausted and fix my breakfast
then checking in on me she’ll wake me for school
before she goes off to bed – she’ll see me later
to ask about my day and play

A Mamas kiss, a smile, a hug, warmth, food and a roof
Yet when we go out together people turn 
to talk to one another, quietly nodding
Funny looks are cast our way and yet not one shall speak to us
Aged nine in school I find out why 
when another child will laugh

“Ya Mama works the streets
lies on her back, watches the sky – to feed ya
-Tis what my Ma said”
It makes me cry
I love my Mama
but this shame hurts

I want to die…


Details | Rhyme | |

Motherhood - Part I

Unprepared I am
For this gift and its trappings
Unceasing intolerable sobbing and gasping
With what shall I arm my fragile domain?
I am forced to endure all of your pain

Yet there you remain; desperate needy thing
How heavily you weigh upon heartstrings
Colossal guilt at my frustrations…
Silently enraged by well-meaning congratulations

Engulfing, drowning, diminishing my abilities
Overwhelmed entirely by this responsibility
Love refuses to come automatically
Remembrances of sleep dying dramatically

Yet there you lie…desperately needing me
Blissfully unaware of my insecurities
Deprivation, depression, and pain cloud my heart
While I watch all the others make it look like fine art

Effortlessly mothering, bright eyes and broad smiles
So sorry for you, that you have missed that by miles
Incapable of such patience, second-guessing my decision
Wishing for earlier precognitive vision

Yet there you are, sleeping quietly now
Entrusted to me, even though I have no idea how
To possibly show you what all of this means
To ever live up to all of you dreams

We’re bound together, you and me
For better or worse, for all eternity
So here is my promise, maybe all I can give:
I will never abandon you for as long as I live

Yet there you lie…aware of me even in deepest sleep
Turning towards me just to listen to my heartbeat deep
Within this fragile undeserving frame
Now I will begin to love you, as I whisper your name


Details | Free verse | |

Sweet Children, Sleep

To the Newtown Children

A poet cries with broken heart

Look thine hearts be washen clean with death,
God knows how hastily can be
By an unfitting goodly young man
Become just another evil’s killer.
Take thou no mean of life
That so tenderly and small
Arranged now along that cold room
Where a hundred of parents
Like you and I look on poor children that thou think:
One day they shall be a doctor or a thinker like us.
To understand really why the hungry death
Has to do for their final journey in front of this sickness?

O, children! American children! My children!
I warn thee in all my heart and soul
That could not happen so earlier on life
And where thou cast the peace and saint in the kindness of grace
Take care of them from danger, thou take for a leaf
And makes my heart bleeding every one like us become angry
How in this heavenly nation this massive fate could occur?

Hold me fast in thine embrace God,
Where my despair cannot be silenced,
Let you and me and everyone else to knee and cross
Our fingers against our chest and pray for them,
Give them, Lord, thy blessing give,
Pray for them and mother as well,
And I shall finish this poem with trembled
Fingers and tears cascading over this bloody
Sheet as an awaken wind has just blown it from me.


Details | I do not know? | |

Too Late to Say

I can smell the pies a baking
Upon the warmest summer day
Even with windows wide open
It’s a scent not gone away

She was there before the changing
Making food just like before
But once the afternoon had come
It was the bottle, wanted more

Now there were many of us still under
Yeah, under the roof she called her own
But, to this child who knew no better
This was my mom and too my home

Despite the angry, angry bottle
That turned her feelings dark and gray
I knew my mother forever loved me 
Though I wished my mom away

How sad I am today
That the bottle
Made me wish my mom away

Many years were cast upon us
I had grown into a family man
A hard working, white collar worker
Trying to do the very best I can

With my wife standing beside me
I have strength to look back and see
My misinterpreted emotions
And all my mother meant to me

She was here to see my children
She tried to make up for all she did
But all she had ever wanted, really
Was to be happy and to live

For she had so many children
I was the youngest of her ten
Yeah, I was my mother’s baby
But I never knew what it really meant

Until now that I’m a father
And sometimes things, they get so tough
It’s so easy to dive into a bottle
But, it’s love that makes one stop

She did that for my children
But, I never really saw her change
And never had the chance to tell her
All my feelings, cause it got too late

My mother left this world not long ago
She met my dad on Heaven’s floor
My only sadness is I never told her
That I couldn’t have loved her more

That I was thankful for all her loving
All the gifts she had given me
For her teachings of life in general
And my family’s history

I was grateful for her changing
But not the woman that she was
She was perfect in that way


Details | I do not know? | |

What people might think

People may say that i am a spoiled little brat.
    Only becuase they see what they wan't to see.
   We all have been through things in our life time that we just want to forget, but we just can't  seem to forget.

My mom has put me through many things "but lets not say" in the past.  And i have learned from some of those things.  It made me a stronger person inside and outside. 

  I don't know my father at all. I wasn't even born when my mom was around him.
 But i have a loving family.

I would never change my past even if i had the chance.  Becuase if i did then i wouldn't be 
where i am now.

 People who are out there that are judging people based on how they act or look, are stupid. Wise up and grow up... 
Those people you judge have a GOOD reason for the way they look or act.
 And maybe they need some one there to talk to. To get things off their 
back.

                        Just like the saying. "Don't judge a book by it's cover"



*just something  that i had to say* :)comment if you have a thought (or fav poem if you like it)*
  
                                        


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

MOM I'm Pregnant

What shall I say to her?

What if she knows?

Can she tell that I carry another soul?

As I wonder what would I tell mom...

All these thoughts paced through my head,

I should have NEVER laid in his bed...

Sweet nothings was ALL that he said...

He got what he wanted, then left, just fled...

I was weak a young victim a surely misled...




 When I confessed to my mother,

That I had slept with my lover,

And in a few months she'd be a grandmother...

Her face turned cherry red, yet words where still unsaid...

Days turned into months,

My belly stuck out further in front...




 Finally we spoke today,

She said "When is he due?"

I replied "This May the 8th."

She said "She loves me!"

That was it, nothing else to say but "I love you too mom, in a special way!"


For it will be a blessed Mothers Day...


My Statistic: Life is challenging enough, it tends to be even
Harder for adolescence because they don't
Know as much as they think they
Know in actuality they don't. But mistakes and accidents are
Apart of life.... You live and you learn...


Details | Ballad | |

Italy

The place where i once dewelled,
The place where my mother and father honey mooned,
the place where i was created,
the place where i now face hardships.
 the place now where i only see and visit graves of those i have lost.
the place  where i have dreamed many dreams.
Now the place i will never see.
Please people in Italy dream big dreams for me.
Even though I am afraid of what those dreams might be.
I know one day I have to face my destiny,
But  I am afraid of what I might become and what I might bring,
upon myself.
so i have to stay out of the rain,
and  thank mother earth 
that i have not become,
insane.


Details | Cinquain | |

Eyes On Me???

Eyes on me,
People watching,
In my direction?
Can't they look somewhere else?

Feeling uneasy,
Discomfart rises, too.
Afraid to mess up,
Afraid to fail.

Eyes are on me.
I feel pale.
I freeze.

I don't want
The attention.


Details | Rhyme | |

Does Family Really Matter Anymore


A family had a wedding...  The brother wasn’t invited.
The fact they didn’t want him,.. 
Was already decided!

When asked why his name had been “omitted.”
It was because of past wrongs he had committed.

The words spoken, one could hardly believe it!
Any kind of forgiveness? 
 They didn’t receive it!

How many times are loved ones not
 invited to “family occasions.”
Often times, families listen to “outside persuasions.”

Someone does something, 
that may not be liked.
Then they’re often told to “go take a hike!

No wonder why many families 
battle one another!
They have failed to truly love each other!

As we continue to see families drift apart.
This often leads to a wounded 
and broken heart!

Christ gave us his best!  
When we were at our lowest!
A life of mercy and forgiveness…  
He wants to show us!

If we can’t treat one another
 as Christ commands…
Then HIS way of family living….  
We’ll never understand!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Monorhyme | |

No One Told Me

No One Told Me
A cement block is tied to my heart
Need a running start
At night my voice carries like a lark
Death’s arrow has hit its mark
My life is so dark
The side of the ocean is full of sharks
Some days I feel like such a tart
I used to be such a sweetheart
No one told me life would be so hard.


Details | I do not know? | |

Gold Star

Sometimes I sit and ponder
what it may be like
to have parents, not always 
looking for a petty fight
the love you feel, always
being there for you
day o' night

I wake up fighting a
constant battle,
I feel like I am in a circus
having to jump through hoops
my parents hold
to earn their admiration and 
approval

Earning their gold star
for the day
I was a rebel since day one
not trying to conform
dancing to the beat of a 
different drummer

Wishing to be accepted 
for who I want to be
and how I seek to spend my hours
nothing I ever do, seems to be good
enough

They talk about "emotional deposits"
i.e. spending time with them
but they spend too much time
picking and proving
reacting wrong, saying ignorant assumptions
they push me away, each day
'further and further I go
as soon as I make enough money
I'm gone

They act as if my artistic mind 
couldn't make money
like my dreams are distant relatives
of which I will never meet
but I strive to prove them wrong

Its bad enough being
one person versus the world
but when the army you fight
is led by your family, your blood
it's twice as hard to get up
in the morning, when the suns
rays dance on my closed
eyelids 

I try my best to be the kind
of person I want to be
despite their efforts to kill off
my individualistic soul
I have given up trying
to belong to which I 
was born unto
I'm simply playing the game

Hoping to win, one day
the chance to be myself
as I feel emulates me,
and regardless
have a proud
Mommy and Daddy
I do pray, I shall be
 free to be 
Heather Rose Marie


Details | Lyric | |

December

Arguing with one another
Texting back and forth
Owen drives in the blizzard
Kurt is at home

Kurt sends Owen another message
"why did you tell them about me doing drugs?"
"that wasnt your place, i dont care if there your parents too"
"shouldnt i be the one to tell them?"

Owen tries to reply to the message Kurt has sent him
He loses control of the wheel
driving into a field 
Kurt recieves a message from Owen
"Im sorry I..."
The message was never finished
The car slamming into a tree
The tree branch breaks through the window
Thrashing into Owens stomach
As Owens head slams back and forth
The car is left smoking

Kurt knows something is wrong
but leaves things be

50 Minutes Later...."

Kurt and Owen's parent recieve a call from the police
"Is this the parent of Owen Everdeen?" the police ask
the mother answers "yes is something wrong? is it Owen, what did he do now?"
"Mam', Your son was in a accident, they are life flighting him to the hospital"
She drops the phone, and grabs her purse and yells at Kurt to come on.

She drives fast to get to the hospital to see her son
Owen was life flighted to the hospital
The police had to use the jaws of life to get him out of his car

They finally make it to the hospital
The Dr. asking "Are you the mother of Owen?"
She cries "yes, where is my son?"
Kurt stands upset at himself for fighting with Owen minutes before
Remembering Owens last text to him. "im sorry I.."

The Dr. explains to the mother 
"Owen didnt make it"
She sits in sadness
Numbness
She cannot breathe

Kurt runs after the Dr.
"this cant be, he has to be ok" as he starts to cry.
Just the night before him and his brother
Were playing guitar hero together
Remembering the last moment
The arguing
The reqruet Kurt is now feeling

"Owen Ryan Everdeen: Jan. 1st, 1990- December 8th, 2011"
To a good brother and a great friend, im sorry about all those times i have let you down
Im sorry for yelling at you that night, and causing your crash, the guilt i feel wont leave
I am sorry that you went through that, and left this world that way, forgive me for what i 
have caused. I love you.


Details | Free verse | |

Survival Of The Fittest

Dropped out of school
At an early age
Lived on the streets 
Because, I disgusted my mother
She thought I was a poor example
Of true Christian beliefs
At an early age 
She religiously drummed into me
‘blood is thicker than water’
And yet, 
Here I am today confused, lonely and hungry
No one protecting me
No friends
No family
No home to go too
Just, peoples eye for an eye,
tooth for a tooth mentality
Praying for the sun to shine
To feel some warmth again!
Sun rays of hope, lighting me up
To live through this darkness without fear
With a heart full of faith
No matter what happens to me, now!
If only I could drink my salty tears
It would sustain me for a lifetime
Your tears are worth nothing, around here
You’re classed as weak and venerable
Only attracting death
Your life worth nothing!
Save me from myself
I am my best friend
I am my worst enemy
My prayers and dreams
Lost in the wind
Blowing around like autumn leaves
The rain washing them away
Down the drain into the sewage
Rolling with the seasons
Year after year
Survival for the fittest!
Surviving on the love
Hidden, inside me
Being my strength and guide
My personal lifeline
In surviving this crazy world 
We all live in


Details | I do not know? | |

My Mommy is my Daddy Too

My mommy is my daddy too. She comforts me, she gives me strength, always saying how much she loves me and that my daddy does too...my daddy? My daddy who? Who is my dad, doesn’t he care?
She nurtures, feeds, teaches and disciplines me, tells me life isn’t always fair. Where are you dad, why aren’t you there? 
It’s my birthday, she tells me “baby I’m sure he’ll call”, I sat by the phone it did not ring no not at all. She gives me hugs and wipes my tears....where is my daddy? Why isn’t he here? Only met him once in all these years.
She always tells me "It will be okay", but it’s not you see, because at the end of the day, my mommy is my daddy, it’s always been that way.
I tell my mom I miss my dad, she says “yes baby he misses you too”, really mom? You’re a liar, I don’t believe you, and it’s not true. I tell her I hate her for making you go away, she says “I know you’re angry, but I love you anyway”. She tells me “baby no matter what we still have each other”, I tell her I don’t need her, I need my father, but my father is my mother and I love her.
I love her, for all these years, masked behind her silent heartbroken tears, she never complained nor spoke a harsh word of you, was always...he loves you dear it’s true.
She chased away boys, mending my broken hearts, was at all of my games and encouraged my arts. Sometimes she would stare and say I have your eyes, “he's a real great man” and I used to believe her even though it was all lies.
She would go days without food and work double shifts, skip a bill so I would have Christmas gifts. She always stayed true; my mommy was my daddy too.
I love you the stranger that you are. I know the next time I see you it will probably be your demise; your other children will be there and I will give them a hug, no bitter resentment, just love and no cries. I’ll tell you, I forgive you, thank you and no hard feelings, because my mommy was my daddy.........not you! 
 


Details | Naat | |

The Way Towards Great Hope

Prayer gift of the Spirit
Makes us men and women of hope
Prayer keeps the world
Open to Eternal God

To pray alone is good
Even more beautiful
Fruitful
To pray together

Many ways to become acquainted to Him
There are experiences, groups
Encounters, Courses
To pray

Take part of parish liturgies
Be abundantly nourished by the word of Eternal God
With active participation
In the Sacraments


The baptized
Confirmed by the Eternal Holy Spirit
The Holy Eucharist, communion
So as to live as authentic friends and witnesses of Father Christ


4202013


Details | I do not know? | |

My mother

she was an angry woman
not much love, 
she wouldnt put up with a man
abusing her, 
the mistake women made then,
prostitution for security,
selling your heart for money,
she regretted having me,
lost freedom,
tied down,
single mom, poor,
abused by the culture,
her love was shown
in that she didnt abandon us,
even though she was tempted,
her mother wasnt that strong,
my heart didnt value that,
i wanted to be wanted, loved.

I saw the other children, 
wanted, loved, rich,
my blinders on, 
rose coloured glasses,
envy, despair, no self esteem, 
worthlessness, less than human,

not expensive enough clothes,
not nice enough car,
"drop me off a block from school"
"I am not shopping at wal-mart"

something i didnt notice then
i have always been blessed with beauty
i never even saw the girls that adored me
too afraid, to poor, to stupid, 

If my mother didnt love me, how could another?
greedy, selfish women, angry, 
years of oppression, and taking it out on me,
the male, the enemy, "no love from mommy".

Now i pay the price for my fathers oppression.
the gay guys arent as wierd as i thought,
at least they are getting laid. 

The women i meet now, 
if i love them
i am not good enough for them
if i use them or tell them how pathetic they are,
they love me, addicted, cant leave. 

On occassion i love a weaker girl,
i see their potential,
usually sexually abused as a child,
they will leave, hate me, 
for my honesty, 
too afraid of love, of closeness,
get pregnant and leave or kill themself,
one or the other, such drama,
If a child wont end their suffering 
then death will. 

What did i do to deserve this?


Details | Rhyme | |

In A Hotel Room

Why did they go? They always go,
Whether they saw me I simply don’t know,
They’re here for a night and then go away,
And leave me behind, all alone I must stay,
And wait for the loved ones to whom I belong,
But I’ve been waiting now for ever so long,
I’m starting to think that they’ll never return,
But I remember those faces so full of concern,
On the day that I fell into the old hotel pool,
I never did master swimming at school,
But somehow I pulled myself out from the deep,
And came back to this room where my parents did sleep,
My Mother’s blue eyes had turned red with her tears,
Just as any mother’s whose child disappears,
I don’t understand why they just didn’t see,
That I was standing there just where I should be,
Then they were gone, leaving me here in this room,
Sometimes full of life, sometimes cold as the tomb,
Why did they go? They always go.


Details | Free verse | |

Tear in My Heart

My mother never knew what to do with me.
I was an obligation that needed to be. 
But I wanted her to love me.
Simply… love… me.
I would do anything to please her.
Wanting her to be proud, I worked hard at everything I did.
But she viewed me as her competition, not wanting to be out done.
Needless to say our relationship wasn’t what I wanted it to be.
I dreamed to have a family of my own to simply… love… me. 
I had a daughter who didn’t live. 
And my mom said someone like me shouldn’t have kids.
Though she didn’t know about my epilepsy and other problems with my health.
Then my life fell apart with hard times everywhere.
I didn’t show it but hidden…my health wasn’t all that good.
My husband’s diabetes affected his mind. And epilepsy was working on mine.
I ignored that fact. I worked hard as my epilepsy kept tearing every thing apart.
Finally with a hard earned job… Fourteen years later I had a son. 
The son I’d always wanted to have.
I was so very proud but was attacked by both health and son, at every turn.
He was wilder than most creating problems everywhere.
He blamed me for everything and everywhere something went wrong.
My health did it again at work as my relationship continued to crumble with my son.
He hated a mother who had to work, had epilepsy, and just wasn’t there for him. 
I was slowly dying when he was 12 and I was 52, when finally I was saved.
That night… I met God and he said I had more to be done along the way.
I came back and did every thing I could to help my wayward and unruly son.
But way before I helped him go to college… I knew I had lost my son.
But his best friend needed a mom so I was there for him.
It seems so strange to tell, but as my son moved out… His best friend simply moved in.
And it’s even stranger to tell that… 
The son who will occasionally smile at me, is someone else’s son.
He’s my heart-adopted son and has brought my first son closer again.
Jesus was always here and… the tear in my heart is gone.


Details | Triolet | |

Mom Is Just Mom (Triolet Poem)

Mom is just mom when she wants to be,
I wish she was more independant in life.
What I write is the truth, she'd probably agree.

Maybe she didn't do a good job as a wife,
Put down the alcohol and look towards God.
Because He is the one who will make things right.

This past Thanksgiving I didn't sense your love
You didn't cook Turkey, no family was present.
I left and you didn't even give me a loving hug.

Since I became a Muslim, I'm not feeling your presence,
You also act different in front of my girl,
I guess mom is just mom, that's my life's lesson.

Hopefully situations will get better for you
And one day you'll realize in this world what is true.


Details | Free verse | |

Mother

Where is she?
I Love her, I Need her
Where is she?


Details | Free verse | |

A Crystal that Darkens

Winter is also celibate.  The conscience is moving,
A frozen light in a frozen eye.  It's raining much looser,
Down a ripped tree.  I couldn't have, 
I couldn't have, in this sin-sick tenderness.
              ___

My face is cracked in my fawnlike fingers;
And the nose betrays an inner child, who
Wouldn't listen to sparrows about being catched.
I just insisted fur was wings.
              ___

The feminine chill on the palm must be sorrow;
When I think of church bells, or mother- 
That I am haunting as raw love.


Details | Rhyme | |

I Come From Southern Fire

I come from nothing.
But all this pain
I come from tears
That fall like rain
 
I come from hours
Lost crying in corners
I come from times
We cried like mourners.
 
I come from a Father
That I wanted to please
I come from disappointment
That ended in “STOP! PLEASE!”
 
I come from the crashing
Of our heads being knocked
I come from the blows
I couldn't have blocked.
 
I come from two pups
Who were never let outside
I come from the ghosts
Of all the tears I've cried.
 
I come from the pain
Of a Mom who just watched
I come from the skin
On which bruises were blotched.
 
I come from the scars
That burn on my soul.
I come from the demons
And the dreams that they stole.
 
I come from the Father
I wish that I'd had
I come from the monster
And the screams of “Too bad!”
 
I come from the man
I wished gave a damn.
I come from the emptiness
That is who I am.
 
I come from the life
I've survived my way through.
And I come from a place
That you never knew.


Details | Munaajaat | |

NO ANSWERS

WRITTEN 25TH FEB 2001



I love you all with my whole entire heart
 every second, I'm left to wonder why we're apart

I try to work out what I must've done wrong
 how many mothers sing this sad song

But there are no answers to my questions

Every year we have spent together
 is now embedded, in my heart forever

I think hard and long
 does this pain really belong

Still...there are no answers to my questions

Strength I once had to carry on 
 is nearly dead and gone

I say a prayer every night
 to give me strength, to stay and fight

I still ask, "why us"
 were we on the wrong bus

I weep a tear with every second
 how do I live, like everyone reckon's 

Still...I get no answers to my questions

I stay here fighting, for just one more touch
 am I really asking way to much

I love my babies with every beat of my heart
 please I beg you, stop keeping us apart

Still...no answers to my questions

I'm only left to Guess, that God's reason's 
 are truly his very own



Details | Free verse | |

Sense

Do you remember how she smelled
like Christmas?

How she smiled
like rain?

Do you think of her, sometimes
when snow and laundry soap
fill your senses?

Or when the wind catches the leaves
and they laugh in your ear
sing you to sleep?

Maybe it's the reason your eyes cloud over
when you feel silk 
against your fingers

Because for a moment 
you're cradled in her arms
Peter Pan and Hook
tugging at your eyelashes

Some bittersweet reminisce 
of quilted portrait frames
salted tears
and candy-cane red lipstick
tuning your dreams

And with simple twinges of regret
feather-like brushes of remorse
you cave
collapse

 Wish you could remember more
than a smell
or a sound
fainter than teardrops

Wish everything didn't remind you
you couldn't.


Details | Free verse | |

Are you my daddy

''Are you my daddy'' the little child cried.

''No I'm your uncle'' the grown up replied,

''Are you going to stay, or go away  like my uncles always do?''

'' I love your mummy I'll stay I promise you I'll do''.

'' Everyone loves my mummy,'' the child says with a sigh.

''Will you take me to MacDonald's and buy me a toy and take me for a ride?''

''Yes I promise, but I maybe away for a while''.


''Are you my Daddy'' the little child cried,

''No I'm your uncle'', the grown up replied,

''Are you going away like all my uncles do?''.............................................


Peter Dome. copyright.2012.


Details | Lyric | |

Wanna Be A Mom

My love
Sweet lover
Can't wait anymore

My heart
Fragile heart
Is seeming to break

My flesh
My blood
I wish to hold dear

A girl
Small girl
Named Lyla Shea


Details | Free verse | |

The Bird that is Loved and Loathed

It burns and it stings.
It hurts.
More than drowning beneath 
the ice.
More than remaining in a 
kindled flame
She hits and I no longer cry.
Why mother, why? 

It burned and it stung.
The markings remained, 
returned, and were relived
Looking, loving, and little 
known loathing were the known 
ways of living.
Never was their pity for the 
child that cried
Never was their relief for the 
child that tried

You were that lovely bird that 
understood the complications of 
felicity 
Nothing looked the same in 
those dewy browns of yours.
My everbeating would cry tears 
of joy.
The others-they were yet to 
appear.
Caring Mother, o' so fair
 You were that beautiful bird 
filled with care.

The others came and were not 
alone. Their two suitors sat on 
the throne.
Rampage and rage why did you 
come?
I began to wither and wither 
slumping along. So very soon I-
the child of fines- became a 
human raceme. 
The droops of the Lily of the 
Valley became the slumping of 
my heart.
My lovely bird the enemy had 
taken you and the person you 
were is far from near.
For that divine nature left its 
intricate self and you became 
irretrievable my big bird.
All of your fairness died.
With that went my pride.
 
Mother, Mother what moved 
you so? 
Your intense spirt vanished only 
to supplement a monster. 
Mother, Monster and your tar 
filled lungs. 
How did I kill that liver that was 
so, so strong?
The lesson of pain was one you 
came to learn.
My darling bird why did you 
turn?
 
My lovely bird and your big 
brown eyes
I'll tell you once, but never 
twice.
Pain is only a flower for it 
blooms and dies
And a mistake can be killed as 
quickly as lice.
 You dear bird hurt me well. 
Though, haven't you heard?
Weakness is a souls greatest 
strength.
You brought me up, then you 
brought me down.
You haved helped, hurt, and 
hindered my blazing spirit.
A hero in my heart-I left you 
down in your deep black 
slumber. 
Escaping those terrible nights
To go for the town of delights. 


Details | Rhyme | |

What's Happening to Marriages Today

What’s Happening to Marriages Today?

I was listening to someone just the other day…
And I couldn’t believe what he had to say!

He had left his wife and children for another!
She was young enough to be his daughter!

Here they were, “in love” and holding hands!
Hoping to soon, get their “wedding bands!”

They were pretending that this was so “cool.”
Living now by their own “set of rules!”

How sick and disgusting this is getting to be!
Is this something that many can’t see?

God gave us Adam and Eve to become one.
To bear fruit through daughters and sons!

He gave us marriage as holy vows are made.
Not to march in an “adulterous parade!”

We are treading on very dangerous ground!
Faithfulness and commitment 
are scarcely found!

The very definition of marriage is changing!
As the family unit is always rearranging!

Our only hope is in Jesus!  And him alone!
Let’s promote his love! Into our hearts and home!

Let’s allow his love to be our heart’s glue!
And bring new meaning to the words; “I love you!”

May his love bind our hearts and lives together!
And remain faithful to each other forever!

By Jim Pemberton    


Details | I do not know? | |

You are not my life

The life I'm living is really tragic,
I'm just glad I didn't get hit by static.
As these words pass through my mind,
to these funny verses is what you'll find.
Days past, and i still feel like this,
and what you see, is what this is.
As your words seem to attack,
I know now what matters most is how i act.
See how you push us farther apart,
now I'm cursed with this versing art.
It's like you don't trust me anymore,
I did most things right, but what for?
I know you'll never believe me,
you just need to look deep inside and see.
So why am I writing this down today?
Maybe I want to take this pain away.
I know your going to read this,
you might yell, and ask what this is.
But I can't keep it in,
It's better than us screamin'.
I just wanted to let you know,
that I want to leave, and you should let me go.
As I sit in class today,
questioning myself, is there another way.
There's so many things going through my head,
I just want to erase it all, and go to bed.
Soon I'll make my life great,
make all the mistakes straight.
I always ask myself, how?
Looking back and thinking wow!
You always glare at me,
trying to see what I'll be.
All I ever wanted to be was you,
but all you ever gave me were open wounds.
I want to know so tell me,
what you always wanted me to be.
'Cause you think you know it all,
but if I take your advice, just don't let me fall.
As this cursed poem goes on,
I wonder what went wrong.
This time I'll make you see,
what I want you to let me be.
As time passes by,
I still wonder why?
I just wanted to let you know,
before I let all of this go.
       That you are not my life


Details | Couplet | |

The Deadly Dart

Wherever I go through out my whole life,
I end up struggling with lots of strife.
Thinking that my life is a total waste,
Wanting it to be over in a haste.

I can feel the pain inside my own heart,
Like someone through at my a deadly dart.
The wound is easing deeper and deeper,
Will the pain ever stop getting bigger?

Feeling emo is never a good thing,
Cutting your arm makes a really bad sting.
Blood is dripping from my arms and my heart,
Failing to dodge the largest deadly dart.

Drowning in all the lies and self pity,
I live each day but always feel sh*tty.
I have lots of thoughts about suicide,
But then I think about those who have died.

Those who have died not just from suicide,
But also those who are really nice guys.
...
...
...
...This "poem" was actually suppose to be a couplet (on any thing you want) for my english 
class but i made this kind bcuz i was feeling emo that day...and also after i was done i read it 
over and it almost sound like a rap song which, i guess, is kinda funny and cool.........


Details | Free verse | |

Suicide Note

This is the reason....
 Dear mom,
We never got along..
And you know that...
We constantly argue and disagree..
You make me feel like im a disappointment..
You made me feel as if i was never good enough.. 
You never made it seemed it like you actually cared..
 Dear Dad,
I know who you wanted me to be..
we used to not get along..
But now we do..
most of the time..
I know this is not who you want me to be..
I know this is not what you wanted me to do..
But i got no where to go..
You never seem to help..
 Dear the rest of the family
I know you are there for me..
But your reactions to what i do...
I just dont think i could deal..
I dont think you could help...
And i know you wouldnt understand..
 Dear Friends,
If i even dare call you that..
If you will care or not...
Even if you will notice...
I know some of you say your here for me..
But you dont understand..
I tried to tell one of you..
You just starred and wanted to tell everyone..
I am a human..
Im no different..
Im not some monster..
So i may be an outcast..
But does that really matter...
If only you could of helped me..
If only you didnt call me the names...
 Dear everyone,
Im sorry..
Im sorry for being a disappointment..
Im sorry for letting you down..
So that is why i have decided to leave..
So everyone will be happy..
Have a great life everyone..


Details | I do not know? | |

I want to come home

When can I come home my baby ask me
When mom can I be free
Your mistakes have got you here
Just hold on for a few weeks dear
I know it hard to be away
But you will come home someday
When mommy I want to come back with you
I know son I want you to come with me too
But it is not up to me it is up to you
You have to stay here till your treatment is threw
I will be with you all the way I will write and visit as often as i can
You have to be strong be mommy's little man
God will watch out for you when I can not
But even if I am not there your not forgot
So just hold on son it will be alright
You will be home soon so I can hug you thight


 For my son who is away at a boot camp for boys right now because of his actions at school 
he is bipolar and has add sometimes it is hard to watch what our children have to go threw 
and know there is nothing you can do to help except for pray. and hope that time and love 
will help. thanks to all my friends on the soup for giving me a place to vent my feelings some 
it means alot to write and know it is heard. Thanks to all Nita


Details | Quatrain | |

More Agony

My friend I want you to know
 That happy for you I am
As before the coming snow
 You will have a baby in a pram.

Your shower today was nice
 I thought I could handle it.
But my heart is not ice
 For jeaousy I feel this I admit.

I feel like a loon
 My babies gone
No lullabies to croon
 No being woke at dawn.

I thought I could handle this
 Be here for my dear friend
But there is gaping abyss
 And I do not want to offend.

This your day to shine
 And do well to not frown
And to not even let out a whine
 Though in sorrow I drown.

I leave the shower
 My wounds to lick.
In my own space cower
 Pain in my heart does stick.

I am now alone 
 I lay here and cry.
In agony I moan
 And in misery I sigh.

I really am a lousy friend.
 For how can I feel sad?
How can I make amends
 and tell you why I am bad?

No more baby showers for me
 I cannot do this
To much pain for this to be
 For me there is no bliss.

My arms do so ache
 For the babies that are mine.
How much more pain can I take?
 How much longer will I pine?

Can anyone understand
 What I truly am?
A mother in no man's land
 Whose tears have broke the dam.

A mother who misses 
 Her children each day.
I miss thier kisses,
 Their bedlam and fun way.

Why can I not heal?
 Why must agony sear
And my fate and theirs seal
 For this I do fear.

I thought I was doing good
 But as you can see
This pain gets me where I stood
 And still gets the best of me.


Details | Epic | |

Nightmares and imbetweens

A busted boys heart

Beaten black and blue

His bloody hands pray for help

A cowering child

Shaking by the door

Lowers his head and wonders if anyone can help

A woman in fear

She knows her husband will be home

She speaks to the wall that broke her face if anyone will hear her cries for help

                                            “Homo” they say

                                            They want you to hear

                                            Don't feel your pain

                                            They are oh so full of cheer

                                            They will think you're funny

                                            The coolest guy around

                                           All the girls would want you

                                   

       All hands down

Mommy his blue eyes plead

I won't do it again

But you see

She doesn't care

It's not you it's me

Raise that hand again

You will feel relieved

That child loves you

Set him free

                                                                                  She stands with her head held high

                                                                                Hands deep in suds with her face prettied up

                                                                                She thinks he will be pleased

                                                                                He stumbles through the door screaming

                                                                                “What the hell are these?!”

                                                                               He refers to the flowers in the vase by the door

                                                                                “Your son picked those for me

                                                                                It's mother's day you know”

                                                                                “Your no mother you're a whore”

Do you think this is okay?

You're all making mistakes

People should love people not mean harm in any way

Everyone is different

All in their own special way

You may like men or women or both and it's okay!

You're a sweet young boy

Your mother does love you she just can't show it in the right way

The spouse who brings home hate doesn't mean the pain

He may throw you into walls and bash your face

But it's not your fault, I swear it's true
The people who bring sorrow need help not you


Details | I do not know? | |

Is this my mother i see

Is this my mother i see.
                  
 
                        What was i doing
                        yes i am aging
                      
                        Is this my mother i see 
                        Alas it is not   
                        It is me
 
                       Where was i going
                       I am forgetting
 
                      Is this my mother i see
                      Alas it is not
                      It is me
 
                     Why did i say that
                     It has no meaning
 
                     Is this my mother i see
                     Alas it is not
                     It is me
 
                    When will it leave me
                    No one is listening
 
                    Is this my mother i see
                    Alas it is not
                    It is me 
 
 For my mother who has Alzheimers.
                                                      By Kate Mcnaughton


Details | Bio | |

I AM !AN ECHO.

WHO ARE YOU AND THE ANSWER WAS ,I AM!
SO I HAVE STRUGGLED THRO LIFE TILL  MY COFFIN WAS CALMED.
ADAM INVENTED WAR FROM THE JEALOUSY OF EVES BIRTHING CRIES,
AND MANKIND IS LEFT ASKING FOR ETERNITY,WHO AM I?.


Details | Lyric | |

Halloween's Song

Its your Halloween rave, having your mascaraed
With all your best friends from back in the day
Liz Lauren and Blake and while they're dressed like skanks
I'm on the front line of battle
Howlin like jackle with A real nasty cackle
puttin a razor blade in the sack of Blake's apples
crack in Lauren's snapple
Staddle Liz like mclovin
But I am more like faghole As I babble at her ass
Axe her fast and mash her up like cattle
Sneak back and tackle your dad and put him in shackles
Shove sour patch kids Down your trap and gaggle
Its abominable, so unbelievable
But its inevitable, the end is kissable
I have rattled these kids psyches 
squirming like a centipede, cutting them like celery 
hear their squeamish screams echo in the streets
as the  creepy bells of the chapel ring


I remain a mystery
You'll need nancy drew, and at least 3 of the hardee boys to find what I'm up to
Theres this gloom that looms down in your basement room
Consuming shrooms, enhaling fumes to escape your doom
Witches zoomin by on their brooms makin sonic booms
Quick call scooby doo, but I killed him too
You heard a loud pound cause I cut the fuse so you
Run away to a motel room, assuming your safe
And As you look the other way,
I got my fangs in your veins and stranglin your neck
Too bad you didn't text your friends to tell them who is next
Hmm let me think for a sec. As Hex your boy  rex 
with an incessant twitch, till he is dead in a ditch
Hang him from bunny man bridge
Yo dude turn the lights on
But there's no flip to switch , I have flipped the script
Its bewitched with no miss to kiss
Exorcist with no priest to dismiss the spirit

So the town clock strikes half past 3
There's one last gas before i must sleep
Or i will crash fast if the light touches me
Put on the mask jack, just like the sixth scream 
I need to grasp havoc, till i hear shrills and shrieks
Please back rabbit, these chills aint for teens
As I stick a cherry bomb in your moms exhaust pipe
Run up on you  with nine a knife, and the head of your wife
Its useless I'm the nuisance that's abusive yet conducive
To your fear that I am near So close I could whisper in your ear
Smell the shampoo in your hair Wipe the floor with your tears
And as you look up in the mirror
I'm there ready to smear your blood all over the chair
as I stab you with my spear I crush a coors beer then
Leave you re crops there dead, red spread on the floor
But I hear a knock on the door
Are you okay honey? "Yes mommy,  just got a cold sore"


Details | Rhyme | |

What's Done In Secret Will Come Out In the Open

What’s Done In Secret… Will Come Out In The Open! I’ve read God’s word, and it’s clearly spoken… What’s done in secret… Will come out in the open! I’ve been guilty of this, too many times! I never thought of it, to really be a “crime?” “Nobody’s watching” was the thought pondered… As my mind began to “explore and wander.” It didn’t take long for my life to go “off course.” By a powerful wind of temptation’s force! No matter how many times I took time to pray… This “secret” held on, and wouldn’t go away! I went to church on Sunday and prayed and cried. This “secret” remained, no matter how hard I tried! God told me, I was to give up what surrounded me! This was hard to do, but God was there to help me! Many things I thought I needed, to give me pleasure… Didn’t fulfill the love that God gave! An eternal treasure! As each day passes on… I want to humbly confess… I’m giving my life to God! He’ll take care of the rest! May the Lord Jesus stir a deep passion within… May it be my desire to be more like HIM! God is the God of yesterday, today and tomorrow! I’ve no secrets with him! No more shame or sorrow! Jesus is the Lord of lords! And the King of kings! He’s my lord and savior! My everything! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Longing For Love

Brushed with emotion
she cradles her womb
...unknowing...

her heart...anxious 
desperate
to
expose
her secret...

she cries endless tears...

in bitter sweet moments
passing
slow,
her baggy clothes
no longer
can hide the truth...

her courage must now spill out in word...

a child herself

now a mother

torn...
______________________
CONTEST "Mom, I'm Pregnant" 

Thirty-four percent of young women become pregnant at least once before they 
reach the age of 20 -- about 820,000 a year. Eight in ten of these teen pregnancies 
are unintended and 79 percent are to unmarried teens. 



Details | Narrative | |

tales about them

each time when some stories
are told I cringe
and swallow a lump of bitterness
and will my tear duct to stay intact
because I will never break 
in the presence of anyone
I'd rather shut my eyelids 
and start counting backwards 
from 10
She loves me, I know that
but tough love can only stretch
this far and sometimes
when u least want
your heart will melt
its walls will wilt releasing
molten warmth that will wash over
your tear stains and feed the demons
in your stomach
Love knows not only fear
but weakness, charisma and a wicked
sense of humor
and strength that will envelope
you further down the rabbit hole
that may possibly swallow 
and spit you to a shore
where the sand is shiny and glassy
it cuts your heels until you bleed
and come to a stop
where death will find you
or you could just hand over 
your life to Satan 
just to not feel anymore pain
for a second, to silence
the screaming voices in your head
that tells you hell isn't quite 
done burning you
and to quiet down the cries
of your tongue as it dries and 
stick to your throat until you suffocate
this life isn't yours to take
or trade or give away
its for you to give, to know and 
not even understand because if you did
then you would never feel pain
and you will always smile
even when the storms rips you off
of all you have
so right now this is me reaching out
hold on to my hand and be granted
one more good reason to stay
a bit of warmth and a glance of love
one day we will both stand before God
and recite this story


Details | Free verse | |

Oscar

he felt the bile rising in his throat
but he was strong, he was ready
wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans,
he stood up and took one last look in the mirror before he presented himself to his parents
as he uttered the words with only a slight stammer
the shock only passed over their faces for just a moment
and then they told him exactly how they felt
There apparant love for him made him dizzy with relief
they approached him, arms open wide
and he shed the last of his fears onto their shoulders
and with one last shudder, he released all anxiety
they understood
and he is finally happy again


Details | Light Poetry | |

Mother, Missing You

Mother, Missing You Mother, it's been so long Since I've known Your loving arms around me A sweeter hand to hold Unto moments utter still Open eye and drying tear Swept silent under strains From ever slipping here It's the pain that finds you If I look upon any everywhere Whispering inward out “Will the little boy ever disappear?” In that every then and now I laugh myself to sorrowness Because of your echoes, hearken Deep within to bitterness Mother, in missing you I'm not that strong I wish it wasn't me Or you, that I'd found All those years ago Never answers or reasons, “Why?” I tried to tell you many times But, I never had a chance to say... Goodbye By Michael G. Smith


Details | Crown of Sonnets | |

Mommy dearest


Whose job is it to teach and to guide
To instill in a girls heart
The lessons needed for life
A mothers touch is like no other

You were too young to know
How to train and show
Each child  to know
What is right and what is wrong

It didn’t need to be a song
And dance
Just daily guidance
Lessons would be learned
About the boundaries
Because my adversaries
Took my ignorance
As compliance

How do you say no 
When you’re not sure
If a hand on a knee
Or a hand up your skirt
Would lead them to think
That I was free
To be treated like dirt

There were times I needed a hug
But you would shrug
You are to big
For that sort of thing
Yet I would see you hug my sibling

Jekyll and Hyde
One minute hot
One minute cold
A mothers love
Who can tell
If what you get 
Will serve you well

I will not dwell on the past
I choose to cast
Those demons behind me
And embrace
A mothers love at last.









Details | Rhyme | |

Divorce Isn't Always the Best Choice

Divorce Isn’t Always A Good Choice! I met a person who’s been married for many years. When he talked to me, he was in tears! He was faced with the option of divorce! And now, he feels his life is driven “off course.” His wife said she’s through. She’s “all done.” And doing things which seemed “fun.” Beyond each day and the circumstance… Does this marriage even “have a chance?” Why do people seem happier when they’re apart? Far too often, this ends up in a broken heart! Too often, people “give up” on what they believe! But it’s so many lies, is what they receive! I spoke to this person, of God’s purpose and meaning! Into God’s loving arms, is where he needs to be leaning! When life changes, and marriage seems to have failed you… Jesus is here! And wants to put his arms around you! There’s hope and answers to all of your problems! You’ll find the answer in God’s word! HE can solve them! The best choice for you is to come and trust HIM! Give Jesus your life! Come now and love HIM! All he needs is for you to give him an invitation! He’ll change you! And make you a new creation! His love can do what no other power can ever do! He’ll bring new meaning in the words; “I LOVE YOU!” By Jim Pemberton


Details | Lyric | |

In Your Love

Every time you kiss my lips 
I am drowning, I'm drowning
Like a never ending abyss
I am drowning, I'm drowning
Every time you whisper I miss you
I am drowning, I'm drowning
In your love,  in your love.

Life doesn't seem dangerous
When I'm drowning, yeah I'm drowning
Don't take it so serious
Cause I'm drowning, yeah I'm drowning
I don't care what they think of us
Cause I'm drowning, yeah I'm drowning
In your love, in your love

~ Leonard Napierskie


Details | I do not know? | |

My Hero.

Mood Swings.
That's what you're made of.
Mood swings and lies.
That's the only thing you're good for.

You keep playing your game.
By the end of this quarter you'll lose your fame.

Funny thing is,
You used to be my hero.
Now when I think of you,
You're just a zero.

Ruin your life,
You're ruining mine too.
I hope that's enough to satisfy you.
Because I know you're not aware of just you've put me through.

Took away my youth.
I've been forced to grow up too fast.
I don't know where I'll end up.

But I hope you've satisfied yourself,
You have let down everyone else.
To say the least;
I've got too much emotion built up for one shelf.

You think you're going crazy,
Well you have made me insane.
You've become a monster,
All I'm sure of is your name.

You've lost too much,
And there's too much left to gain.
You could never rekindle what you have broken.
The seal has been lost,
And our hearts are aching.

At least you're happy,
That's what I keep telling myself.
But are you truly happy?
That's my major doubt.

Take a look at what you've done, mother.
So unrecognizable,
Even to yourself.
Becoming the one person you told me all about.
"Don't ever become a liar, a thief, a cheater."
But take a look at your life,
That's all you have become.

A dreadful person,
To even yourself.
Take a look at the person you've aspired to be,
Is it worth it mom?
Losing me?

For someone who will chew you up,
And spit you out?
Tell me who is worth more to care about.

Resentful of my own blood,
I never thought I'd feel so betrayed,
So truly heartbroken.

The things I've been through,
I'll never forget.
I'll never stop pointing my finger,
For all that you did.

Choose a worthless man,
With no ambitions or hope,
Over the children you birthed,
Such an unnatural behavior.
Especially, from the woman I once loved.

Can I say the same still,
About you now?
Well I've told you how I feel,
Now I'll tell you how I've dealt.

I've dealt with this betrayal,
This pure abandonment,
Hanging on to pure hope that you are still an amazing woman.

From a heart that once was pure,
To turn to what you've made it,
I'm not sure I can truly believe it.

Tell me what you're good for,
Other than deceit,
My list seems to be running so short,
Compared to what it used to be.

I don't know why you changed,
That's clearly beyond me.
I just miss the person,
You used to be.


Details | Free verse | |

With Eyes That Saw Your Shadows

The old men defile the little girls
their lurid charm stabs the fragile screen of innocence and ignorance

The fathers are traveled or dead or down, or never known
The mothers weep, hands in air hoping to grab something helpful

The young girls, like rat to hawk become clutched by predatory hands
The old men squeal, cackle, and trumpet their victories
vile names for the captured,the newly shamed are shouted in complete revelry
The tricked lost their chance at being children


This calls for a smile from the most sinister observer


Details | Lyric | |

Kurt

i am kurt daniel everdean 
I am 21 years old
I've been playing the bass guitar
Since I was 11
i weight 145 pounds
i have blondish brown hair
and blue eyes

If I could say one thing about me that I like... Its that I never gave up.


things started when i lost my father
i was 10 years old
my mother started going to her room everytime she got home
she would come out with her eyes all red... Shes been crying
until i accidently walked in on her doing drugs
i now believe it was the drugs that caused the redness
me and my brother would fight everynight
when i bought my first bass
he slammed it against the floor
and told me since i think my lifes crap
then i shouldnt have anything that makes me happy
My mom became a street whore
She would dress in a golden gown and wear ugly make up
We would never see her 
unless she needed money to get condoms for her "men"

the things between me and my brother got worse
I was arguing with him over a text he sent my mom
And he got into an accident and died that night

Things just never got better
I created a band called the nocturnal
And the reason you haven't heard of us yet
Is because were an underground punk band in Seattle
we haven't gotten far yet
Just underground party's and bars

My mom ended up running away with her "boyfriend"
After my brother died she blamed me
And told me to leave and said she won't come around me
Until I brought him back

Since then I've gotten a job and was able to pay rent on
My moms old apartment
Hoping shed come back clean and sober
As for me
I've cleaned up. but suicide is still an option

I haven't found god yet and I don't want to
If there was a god why did he give me this ****ed up life
Ya you'll say Kurt?... You made the desicions for your life
I knolw I did. But he was the one who let it actually happen

I've been writing since I was 11
Lyrics and poems
Drawings and paintings
bass guitar and vocals

My life isn't over
But it's sure close to it

Its sad to think that what you thought was fake... Is a true story


Details | Chastushka | |

Here Without You

Here without you 
Paints me a realization that life isn't easy
It displaces the settling railroad
Taken away by the midnight train's calamity 

Waiting impatiently 
to face some inspiration given by God
Over the driver and I 

By the way you shrivel up in anger, 
I'm not ready to cross through the trampled street
Trampling over the infected cycle...unprepared to face reality's misfortune 
Swimming in its ungrateful punishment

Settling in my sorrow state...shaping my way away from ignorant fate
You lie in scrumptious desires, supposedly independent in your heart-seeking choices
To burn the aches and rashes for all the times you fooled us...took us for granite 
What do you have left to diminish?
To accomplish?

Here without you is like refusing an outspoken crowd, applauding in satisfaction
Ruining the family's reputation...flustering the gas station 
Jaded by your defiant outbursts

Holding up my clutched fists in shame
Holding back tears that reck a moment's peace

This betrayal...not deserving a name

You were passing near us, snickering and cursing our form...our completive family
You wish for scrumptious desires...shaping your heart in frightening lies that strike the innocence of your presence

All the years seem to leave us behind
Settling in the resistible past 
Passing our unachieved, future goals
Poverty splattering us in shapeless love 

Rummaging mad as a furious bear in danger of unyielding snares 

Are we on time to reach the morning train?
And start our life in a new cycle 
This family barely has anything to gain 
You aren't even offering us any advice...same be for you,
Pleasure-seeking mother

Here without you is competitive, but affordable and fair
We aren't crushed against your passionate glares

Here without you is an unhappy environment 
Too caught up in unbearable suffocation and useless bafflement 

Here without you 
Paints me a realization that life isn't easy
It displaces the settling railroad
Taken away by the midnight train's calamity 

Come home... face your fears and embarrassment 
Get away from the monstrous zoo, snatching away impressing love 
Help repair this tear between the whole family with our handyman
Giving it time to grow stable and secure

This family barely has anything to gain 
You aren't even offering us any advice...same be for you,
Pleasure-seeking mother

Good riddance


Details | Haiku | |

Monument

Forgotten but here
Remembered yet never there
Why do you exist?


Details | Rhyme | |

One august morning

One August morning, waiting for those birthday presents, Then with no warning, down stairs came my parents, And with them came a special surprise, Our family was ending , due to lies. Divorce was the word of choice, Pain in my fathers voice , Too young to understand, Why this was being planned, Ever since this damn event, My family has grown more distant. Soon after mom was gone, My eldest sis embarked upon, A journey of her own. My other sis went with mom, All alone with dad .com, Stayed with him a couple of years, Soon followed the steps of my family peers, I feel bad for leaving, Left my father , alone and grieving, Why should I be the one to stay, When it comes down to it, were all grey, One day maybe we, Can once again be family.


Details | Lyric | |

False Senses

Do you realize that you lost? Do you realize that I won? Or did you think it was a tie In your sick twisted mind? Stuck in your lies Concrete at your feet You never took a step You never made a sound When the gun was fired And I ran for my life Do you realize that you lost? Battered and tossed By your own malfunction Wires you crossed Leaning on a crutch From wounds self inflicted Do you realize that I won? Running like fire Brighter than the sun Autumn behind my head Summer in my eyes So near the finish line The reward is mine Or did you think it was a tie? Tangled web behind your eyes Wrapped in delusions Coming to false conclusions In your sick twisted mind Do you realize that you lost? Do you realize that I won? Or did you think it was a tie In your sick twisted mind? Stuck in your lies Concrete at your feet You never took a step You never made a sound When the gun was fired And I ran for my life


Details | Rhyme | |

An Adulterous Situation

An Adulterous Situation I knew of a couple, involved in an adulterous situation. A person involved, claimed that he was a Christian! He told others that he wanted to tell her about the Lord… But this involvement in sin, he couldn’t well “afford!” A “casual” encounter led to the marriage’s destruction. Her husband was so hurt, he could hardly “function.” How could this man think there’s “nothing wrong with it.” “It must be fine.” He thought. “everyone’s doing it!” Jesus has come, that we might have freedom from within! Going to church, doesn’t give us a “license to sin!” God gave us marriage, as a holy and divine covenant! He gave us his word, so that our lives can be abundant! May this be a stern warning to one and all! That which may look attractive, will cause us to fall! If there’s something more from marriage that you desire… Be careful! Your deep passions will burn like a fire! May I encourage you to pray and seek the Lord above! And ask him to build your marriage on his love! Only he can restore everything the enemy has taken! He’ll be with you, when you may feel totally forsaken! Adultery is like a cancer cell… That will eventually destroy! It’ll rob you of the many blessings, that God wants you to enjoy! What God has joined as one... May there be no separation! But a heart of unselfishness, and a renewed dedication! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Have You Ever Loved Someone So Much You'd Cut An Arm Off For Them

Literally cut off an arm for them
                 shrivelling white bone protruding, screaming from the pale flesh
The ultimate expression of honey, darling, sweetheart
   and wonder.
Floating like cannonballs, just dying
 batteries. No more  struggling, flailing legs.
Excitedly scribbling next to me 
   a feeling like jeans upon your touch    or fresh toast
crisp yet damp.
  I’d just like to shake you. Rattle the bones beneath your
skull, maybe even kill a few brain cells if I feel like it 
   and where have they taken you, claiming you
but not my legs and arms. Perhaps I do not wonder enough 

Dangling on the edge of the world,
You do not forsake those offering solace
   Rather you slice and cut until the edge of the world ends 
And becomes your very own playground.
 Then you need not worry,
   but had better bloody worry.
After all it’s what makes you, and us, human. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Many Families Are In Difficult Situations

I’ve seen many families in difficult situations!
Often ending up in lies and false accusations!

I’ve seen many families stray way off course…
And tragically, often, end up in a divorce!

I’ve seen the hardships that many families endure.
Their faith has often been shaken. 
 That’s for sure!

I’ve seen many families trying to give 100 percent.
And then wondering where all of their time went!

I’ve seen all these things happening
 and much more!
I have wondered; “what is all of this happening for?”

I’ve just one thing to say in this “chaotic confusion.”
Only the blood of Jesus gives
 any hope or solution!

It’s only in his word, we’ll find a godly direction!
His Holy Spirit can give true and loving correction!

May we seek his spirit to bind us all together!
And pray for his blood for our protection forever!

Please come Lord Jesus, and refresh our soul!
We need you right now, to make us whole!

Please touch our heart, and make us all one!
And heal every father, mother, daughter and son!

Please help us to watch what we’ll do and say!
You can turn our darkest night
 into the brightest day!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Ghazal | |

Where Did You Go

All of the angels call, 
as they mourn for the one's that fall.
And its been so long,
since you've been gone.

I cant believe its so hard
for me to let go of the years 
that I hold iniside of me.
The memories, the 
childish games you would play with me.

Mama, where did you go. 
Why did you leave us all alone.
And how could it be so,
that you could leave us behind,
And just forget about us all this time.

I dream that you are here,
and you tell me that it will be alright. 
You hold me tight, sing me a lullabye,
and tell us goodnight.

Mama, you left us for good.
Me and her to survive on our own, 
and now she's even gone.
So as I hide in my world,
and I bury this all deep inside.
I run and try to find someone to 
play those games with me,
but theres no one in sight.

So here I am, almost grown,
so afraid I cant make it on my own.

And all of this seems like a dream,
Or I'm in a movie scene.

So Mama, come make this right,
and tell me good night.


Details | Senryu | |

Lost Forever

Casey Anthony--
found not guilty, yet her child
is lost forever


Details | Light Poetry | |

Your Adopted Child

(Youth) 

I wonder where my mother is
And why she let me go?
I wish I had my mommy
So much I need to know

How did I come about then
where is my father too?
Oh I wish I had my mommy
She'd know exactly what to do!

Who is this woman kissing me,
Who's up with me at night?
Sometimes I think I hate her
And I diss her just for spite!

I'll never love her back 
And someday I won't stay
I'll make her very sorry
For taking me away

(Adult)

It's been eighteen years now 
And I still search for Mother
I adamantly resent this woman 
As I may have sister or brother

Siblings that I will never know 
Except in the face of Hope
I'll never stop looking for her
I'll stay focused,  I must cope

Somewhere out there
She searches for her boy 
The one she had to give away 
The one who brought her joy

(Dead)

I remember:

Lying in the hospital
Somewhat paralyzed
When an angel stood before me
With Glory in her eyes

"Come my Son I'll take you home,"
said Mom, extending her hand
All my questions are answered
As we followed heavens' plan.

Only now can I appreciate
My earth mom in a while
"I'm here and waiting Mom
I love you,  Your Adopted Child"


Details | Verse | |

Face To Face

Joanna Davis

So many things to do today
My goodness I’ve no time to play
The washing, ironing, then the tea
tomorrow I’ll have more time for me!
Just let me get the shopping done,
can’t stop now…I’m on the run
So many things to hide behind
If there’s nothing to do~
Something I’ll find
I’ll dig myself in so deep
even my min’s no time to sleep
I can’t slow down or stop you see
or I might come face to face with me!


Details | Free verse | |

Hate

A stinging pain falls upon my face making my vision turn red. 
I look up into your eyes and see nothing but the rage and hate in your souls windows,
How could someone be so angry?
How can you go day to day knowing what you do?
I was kind, I was good.
But you made me like this.

Hit,
	After Hit,
			After Hit,

Put me deeper,
		And deeper, 
				And deeper,

Into the dark where there was only a spark of hope left 
But that even started fading as you continued to throw you anger at me.
Was I the one who made you like this?
Me your ’one and only’
How could someone be so angry?
How can you go day to day knowing what you do?
I was brave, I was slipping.

Fading,
		And fading,
				And fading,

Into a deep,
		   Deep,
				Deep,

Darkness that made me lose my mind
You made me like this.
I can finally throw my anger at you.
How does it feel now mother?
You cry and ask me to stop, but did you ever listen?
Me your ‘one and only’
How could I be so angry?
How can I go day to day knowing what I do?

Very,
		Very,
				Very,

Simple.

I can go day to day knowing that I made myself free,
Of all the hate you would throw at me.
Can you handle mine?


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Ain't Dreamin' of a Daddy

I'd like to do so much
With you
But that's
A hell of a lot
To ask of
A drinking man
Father-Daughter Dance
Huntin?
I'm from the South
And I ain't ahamed 
To say I ain't dreamin'
Of a Daddy
I got all I need
I got my Mommy
She's just as good 
And better
She's a fighter
We can live
Without you


Details | I do not know? | |

WHEN HE COMES CRYING

WHEN HE COMES CRYING

I fear the dead breakages memories
He was a shadow who rejected me
When mother was swiming alone
Shut up and shed tear

Clear your mind and pray
When done
Come again with a pleading heart
Maybe mother shall look upon you 

And laugh enough to last
To cover your sins
Till I am grown into a man
So to take care

Of all that you left unfinished
I shall do it with happiness and simpathy
Just with what mother sparred you with
When you walked out the door 
 
Because we fear GOD, his wishes.


Details | Rhyme | |

Why Did I Give In To Temptation

Giving In To Temptation...

I remember of a particular situation.
I was offered a very "inviting" temptation.

The situation I was in... I didn't belong!
And lost any sense of 
"right and wrong."

At first... I felt no guilt or shame.
And brought embarrassmen
 to my family's name.

I tried to explain this to
 my wife and kids.
I heard; "Dad... please... 
  no more fibs!"

The Godly principles were 
"tossed to the side,"
As the sin inside caused 
arrogance and pride.

Soon, all in my life that truly mattered.
Was all gone... and my life 
was empty and shattered!

I was sorry for all of the 
problems I had caused/
This time... I took a moment to pause/

I cried to God to rescue me from my sin.
And confessed.  Would God help me once again?

I read in the Bible of our
 saviour's grace and love/
This time the help I needed had 
to come from above/

I asked him for a fresh and brand new start.
He removed the stain from a broken heart.

He restored to me the joy I once had.
I'm so thankful... Jesus has made me glad!

YOU--Jesus--are the reason I'm here today!
I LOVE YOU! More than words can say!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Heroic Couplets | |

Day I Dread

I know my life is moving slowly ahead
But there is a day coming that I dread.
It is the day I came to this earth.
It is the day to of my own birth.

For that was always the day
My children would display
Their handmade gifts of
Their devotion and love.

But my babies are now 5 years gone
And am trying not to be withdrawn.
But as this day draws near
I valiantly fight my tears.

But it is to no avail
As they lead their trail
Down my puffy face
As if they are in a race.

I am really really trying
Hard to keep from crying
As my heart is torn apart
But from me resolve departs.

The tears flow and flow
As my hurt does grow.
No one will remember me
As no one ever does you see.

God please forgive me
Lord please hear my plea.
Take care of my kids please
I am begging on my knees.

Never make this pain abate
As I know this was my fate.
Make sure they are in good care
And this soul wrenching pain I shall bare.


Details | Narrative | |

Her Personal Curse (Part Two) *warning, graphic in nature*

I felt his fingers bruising my flesh, tearing me till I bled onto him.
He made me taste it for him, I thought this would be the night I died.
Panic seized me anew when he settled between my thighs and pressed in.
A pain like none of his blows seized me, as he pinned me where I lye



I began to fight him again, digging my own nails into his shoulders.
It didn’t seem to anger him anymore as he pushed sending fire through me.
He let me scream now, and the bed banged the wall, but nobody heard.  
All I could think about was my mother in the next room, oblivious to my screams.

 He pound his member deep inside me as I gasped and begged him to stop
I called him by his name, and still, his hands grabbed hard as he continued to thrust.
Some of the pain subsided as he took me, I must have slowly slipped into shock.
I felt his hot release inside of me, as I lye under this man I once thought I could trust.

Spent and dripping sweat, he fell down against me, crushing the breath from my lungs.
I felt his lips suckle my neck, as he leaned off to knead my breast.
I lay limp as he kissed me, I could still taste vodka on his tongue.
I lay there being fondled by my mother’s 28 year old house guest.

He hardened again against my thigh, while he continued exploring my body
He murmured empty words to me before flipping me over onto my stomach.
I tried to get up and crawl away but he pushed my head down from behind me.
I screamed against the mattress while he took me, preying for it to go by quick.

It was dawn before he left me, aching and soiled down to my bones.
I curled up onto the mattress after he told me no one would ever believe me.
I was stunned that this could happen to me in my own home.
I thought of my mother sleeping in such close vicinity.

She must have left and I didn’t hear her, I thought. I didn’t want to face the fact
That she had been there, steps away while I begged and pleaded for rescue.
But as I painfully left my bed to prove to myself that she wasn’t there to stop the attack,
I stepped out into the hallway and heard her snoring, the door left open to her room.

Passed out on her own bed, left as vulnerable as I had been left, she was untouched.
While I was riddled with bruises and blood, scars inside that would never heal.
I ran to her shaking her awake to tell her, wanting to be consoled so much.
She looked at me, still drunk, as if wondering how she should feel.


Details | Rhyme | |

Happy Holidays Or Merry Christmas

What if Christmas wasn't here? What if Christmas disappeared? Whenever December came... It just wouldn’t be the same! What if the baby Jesus was never born in a manger? The true meaning of Christmas would be in danger! If this happened... There would be no nativity. We wouldn’t have Christ' peace and tranquility! It’s almost like this now! It’s an “ever increasing business.” It seems like nearly everyone wants “Christ out of Christmas!” Why does it seem like Christmas is losing it’s true meaning? The very words; “Merry Christmas,” seem to be quickly disappearing! Many say; “Happy Holiday.” For fear they may “offend.” Having a “holiday” without Christ…. Once again! We need to put Jesus Christ back into our CHRISTmas season! He is what Christmas is about! HE is the very reason! May we all take some time to rejoice in our savior’s birth. May there be shouts of JOY! From the corners of the earth! Let’s not take Christ out of our joyous celebration! We need him so much right now! All over this great nation! May we bring to him a heart of love for everything he’s done. As we bring honor to Christ. God’s precious son! May we continually offer to him a heart filled with praise! Not only at Christmas time… But all of our days! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

God Gave Us Our Sexuality


God Gave Us Our Sexuality… God gave us our sexuality and told us how to use it. But many have ignored him, and have “abused it.” Through his word, he’s given us his “set of rules.” So many have refused it, and have become “fools.” The fool has purposed in his heart God does not exist. Yet his beautiful handiwork is all around their midst. Many have chosen to turn his truth into a lie. And often, they burn in lust till the day they die. Many have offered their bodies for ungodly things. Not caring the consequences this really brings! Many are involved with perversion of various kinds. Having a warped sense of morality in very confused minds So many aren’t happy with the way they're created. Their own sexual identity is often debated. You were wonderfully designed and beautifully made. Please don’t end up as sin’s “sexual slave!” God made you special… And has a perfect will! Your every need… His love can fulfill! Don’t settle for what may be “your innocence lost” Think about the work Christ did on the cross! God can help you to resist the man “sexual temptations.” And can bring to your life his peace and true satisfaction. You don’t have to live like you did before! God can restore your life and do so much MORE1 By Jim Pemberton


Details | List | |

Go Away Baby

One night long ago
I felt as though
You were nothing to me
everybody tried to make me see
I went to a clinic
Where they took you away
Gone forever
You didn't have a chance to pray
I didn't know you
You were to young
You could have lived
You could have clung
You had two feet
And ten tiny toes
You could see 
Until the harsh blows
You're dead now
I chose the wrong way
I made a mistake 
And you had to pay!


Details | Rhyme | |

DEAR MOTHER

Dear Mother, can you hear me?,
Dear Mother, can you see?
This disgraceful, embarrassment,
 that you have ill concieved...

This troubled soul inside me,
  that lyes within my heart;
Has now become more burdened,
  than at first it was to start...

 Dear Mother, can you hear me?
   Dear Mother, why me?
Crucial moments, in life's vicious path.
  more than one marriage,
  with no hope to last..

      Common opposition,
opinions made to thee;
  Would it have been immoral,
     had you just diposed of me...

  Dear Mother, can you hear me/
      Dear Mother,  Please!!
Dear Mother, can you help me?
       Dear Mother,
                Why me???


Details | Rhyme | |

Grandma's Becoming A Republican

Grandma’s Becoming A Republican!

There was something that I was able to hear…
Grandma is going to be a Republican this year!

I remember her talking of the great depression.
Many years that created a lot of tension!

I remember her talking of days gone past.
Wondering how much longer
 our country would last.

I remember her talking of doing many things.
And has experienced 
what life daily brings!

Because of how things have
 been so dramatic.
She decided long ago to be democratic!

Beyond all of the politics and chatter…
She loves God!  And that’s what matters!

We love her dearly!  And it’s been decided…
Everything she needs…  
God has provided!

We congratulate you grandma with your choice!
We say “we love you!” 
With one heart and voice!

Our prayers are with the choice grandma’s givin!!
May God bless her! Each day she’s livin’!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Marriage Is Under Attack Like Never Before

Marriage Is Under Attack Like Never Before! Marriage is under attack… And it’s because… So many people have trampled “God’s set of laws…” What once was ordained as “God’s order of unity…” Has often resulted in so much “infidelity…” The God given covenant between a woman and a man… Is so distorted… How can one truly understand? All the way from Genesis to Revelation… God made it clear from the time of creation… It was Adam and Eve from the very start… As Eve was formed from a rib… Close to Adam’s heart. They were joined together by their God above… Being a symbol of his creation and never-ending love This same God is the redeemer of your very soul… It’s only in him that you can be complete and whole! You are invited to join the marriage supper of the lamb… Christ is the bridegroom and is waiting for your hand! Won’t you accept God’s proposal he offers to you? He’s given the invitation… What will you do? He’s coming for a bride who’s sins are washed away! Won’t you accept his proposal of love… Today? He remains faithful… And forever true! And has already said the words; “I DO!” By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Warmth of Mother's Womb

Wrapped within the morning I lie alone Far away As most days I often do All but the minds eye Is undercover closed Clinging to empty linen And then, unconscious folds Form to dreams of meditation And then I feel you Lying so very close The day continues collapsing in As every second to minute goes And so I bury myself further, deeper Thinking less and less, just being, sensing Into deja vu Struck by an unawareness Of the naissances soon Or what conscience shall remember Beneath old famaliar comforter Can it be, the warmth of mother's womb


Details | Rhyme | |

Gratitude

Time drags on in this chair, 
 As I wait for the brilliant one.
Each time the door swings out, 
 I look for him to say he's done.

Minutes turn into hours, 
 and all I can do is stare at the clock.
Finally, after what seems like forever, 
 Here comes my son's Doc.

As if in slow motion, I stand.
 Anxiously, I await him to say, 
"The surgery went well, but 
 of course in the hospital, he'll have to stay."

"When can I see him?"
 is what I quietly ask.
"Within the hour," he replies
 "But be warned, it'll be no easy task."

As I walk in the recovery room, 
 He lay so still on his hospital bed.
If I didn't know better, 
 I'd have thought he might be dead.

His recovery takes, oh so long and
 the first time my Angel opened his eyes, 
I realized that prayers are answered,
 And God had heard all my cries.

My gratitude for God and Dr Carson swelled, 
 when my son took an non ventilator aided breath.
We had won the fight for my son's life, 
 and we actually cheated DEATH.

We had to repeat this trying
 scene for a total times of three.
It kept me bitter and stressed. 
 Why couldn't He leave my Angel be?

I see now, what's done is meant to happen.
 And I have learned my lesson in GRATITUDE.
To not be trusting that HE knows best, 
 was not only wrong, it was just plain rude.

I'm understanding now, 
 more than you'll ever know.
And when I see my son alive and breathing, 
 my heart and soul radiates for God, a special glow.




*This is a true story, my son went through 3 heart surgeries before 5 months old and this
is dedicated to God, Dr. Carson, Dr. Dooley, and Dr. Willis Williams*


Details | Rhyme | |

I've Heard Of A lot Of People

I’ve Heard Of A lot Of People…

I’ve heard of a lot of people who claim to serve God above.
I heard that many of them proclaim a message of his love!

I’ve heard of a lot of people who claim to know him too…
Would one of these people be someone like YOU?

I’ve heard of a lot of people who’ve made it known.
They are making plans to soon
 be in their heavenly home!

I’ve heard of a lot of people who are joyful.  You can tell!
They’re in love with Jesus.  And are doing quite well!

I’ve heard of a lot of people who’ve 
made a wise choice!
They read the word of God and seek their savior’s voice!

I know of a lot of people who have 
made a firm decision…
They’ve given to God their hearts 
and undivided attention!

I know of a lot of people who were stumbling along the way.
Until they met the master…  Who changed their life one day!

I know of a lot of people that will soon be all together…
When the Lord comes back soon and 
takes them with him forever!

I know of a lot of people and I hope you’re one of them…
Who have accepted Christ.  
And are now born again!

I know there’s lot of angels in heaven 
waiting for you and me!
Won’t you join with these people to spend your eternity???

By Jim Pemberton     05/17/12


Details | Verse | |

Mother - revised

When all alone, quiet, and lost in thought, I smile for the at attention that I often sought I see again the times when I was young. Knowing if I was sad then you would come. You would dry teardrops that then would flow A soothing word and I'd forget my woe You were my bedside nurse on a restless night. I was consoled that you were not far from my sight. Your wrath confused me when I misbehaved, I now see love through your stormy rage. I never believed that I was ever wrong. But with your wise words I have grown Oh so strong. So when I think of you, Mother and friend, All regrets are over, all sorrows end.


Details | Rhyme | |

God's Definition of Marriage


God designed marriage as the real thing!
Anything less, is what a counterfeit brings!

His concept of one man and woman is very real.
He’s not interested in bowing to “man’s appeal.”

His court of justice rings very loud and clear!
The truth of his word shall NEVER disappear!

You can look in Genesis and it is found!
He created Adam from the dust of the ground!

He designed Eve from one of his ribs!
They were joined together as  both lived!

He didn’t need a constitution to know “their rights.”
He gave them HIS WORD as their guiding light!

Satan has been trying to pervert what God created!
This is a truth.  And need not be debated!

We have cheapened the value of the marriage institution!
And have added needless 
chaos and confusion!

Through the Bible, one husband and wife are taught!
Unless you want to live in Sodom, as did Lot!

Ungodly perversions take many forms and kinds.
And it soon piles up garbage into our minds!

“What God has put together.” 
 “Let no man put asunder.!”
Many ideas of “marriage,” is a total blunder!

One man and one woman is what God ordained in Eden.
It was Adam and Eve.  
Not Adam and Steven!

The choices in life are yours!  And yours alone!
Who is going to be the Lord, of your heart and home?

By Jim Pemberton  


Details | Narrative | |

The Darkest - Blackest Tuesday (Part ll)

The whispering begins  Maybe our Fairy God Mother came Sunday night and changed  Ma’am
Oh Dot we can only wish so , I’m a little apprehensive, Al  what does  aperentcive mean I 
asked
It means unsure , unreal piped Joe and Jim  Bobby why aren’t you eating? Is there any rat 
poison
Ma’am probably put it in the eggs Bobby don’t talk like that Billy’s woofing his breakfast down
Of course he’s Ma’am’s  Pet, alright, alright  let’s take advantage of the Fairy God Mother 
Ma’am
Becky tell Millie you and her will dry  George and Harry will put away Dot put everything away
The rest of you guys wipe the table and mop the floor I call wiping the table said Joe (always 
easy)
Hey Pet go upstairs and ask  Ma’am if she needs a fresh towel or anything tell her we’re 
almost done
When Billy came down we were all sitting at the clean table with our hands folded She’s 
coming now
Ma’am walked into the kitchen, wearing  a muti-colored flower dress that matched  to a tee 
her  parasol
Tucked in the bow of her dress  was the black rider’s crop which she always carried with her, 
just in case
Ma’am, you look beautiful, She playfully grabbed George’s ear I’m not going to tell all of you 
again Call
Me “MOM” I don’t want to use this today (touching the Ebony Crop) in fearful uncertain unison 
yes MOM
William go to the living room closet and bring the bag out here “hey guys look brand new 
beach pails”
“Jesus Christ” Did you say something  Robert  we all swallow our breath “ I-i said ”Mom your 
so nice”
Her hand never even moved toward the Crop Maybe Dotty was right, maybe we had a Fairy 
God Mother


Details | Rhyme | |

FADE

I search through this darkness,
     for just a flicker of light;
 Something to help guide me,
   through this unknown, without fright...

For just one millionth of a second,
  of her arms around me;
A sacrifice well worth all this pain that I leave...

A comfort so familiar, as I revel in this peace;
  A feeling of pure happy,
       As she is here with me...

She may be disappointed, 
in the action's that I have taken;
   However unforseen;
Yet she show's only a smile, 
     as she reaches towards me...

Although darkness surrounds me,
     Above and Below;
   I can feel her arm's embrace me,
with a strong grandmother hello..

I can feel her beating heart,
 as it presses into mine;
         This is where I belong, 
I've known it all the time.

I feel that if my face is smiling,
   as if it were to never leave;
  As the love coming from her eyes,
leaves me content and at peace;
   As so gently, without fear;
      I Fade into sleep...


Details | Rhyme | |

Oh Mommy Please

   Oh mommy please, don't hit me no more,
my head is still bleeding and my body's so sore.
   
Oh mommy please, I'll try to be good,
and do all the things that a small child should.
  
 Oh mommy please don't scream and don't yell,
I promise I'll tell them that I only fell.
 
  Oh mommy please don't start drinking  tonight,
and I'll be real quiet and stay out of sight.
  
 Oh mommy please,  can't you see that I'm crying?
My insides are knotted and I feel like I'm dying.
 
  Oh mommy please, what did I do wrong?
I won't whine anymore, I'll show you I'm strong.
  
 Oh mommy please, mommy why can't you see
all that I want is for you to love me?


Details | Free verse | |

Mom

I miss you
i never enjoyed your rules
i did enjoy your home cooked meals
you always seemed so old and out of date
i never talked to you unless i was forced to
i hated your nagging 
but i was a young teenager
now i am grown and your gone
i have a big big empty space
who will i get to listen to me
who will i talk to
no one ever loved me or cared for me like you
i wish you were hear i miss you so much.


Details | Senryu | |

Long Summer Days Soon

She had a baby
today.  She's only sixteen.
Long summer days soon.


Details | Bio | |

my sister

My sister is one of a kind and I know shes always by my side I know we fight.

and sometime dont get along my sister and I are like a song.

The bond between us will never break she's my best friend 
.
and it will never change I love my sister


Details | Rhyme | |

This Habit's Got A Hold Of Me I Can't Break It

This habit has a hold of me. ..
 I can’t seem to break it!
I’m so discouraged  …  I can’t “shake it!”

I don’t know what to do, or where to turn…
When I tell others about it. 
 They’re not concerned…

What am I going to do in a situation like this?
It seems like my life is just one huge mess!

The “satisfaction” I seek… I haven’t obtained.
I’ve only myself…  And no one else to blame…

Many discouraging thoughts 
have entered my head.
Each night I cry out loud before going to bed…

I can’t think or do anything like I once did.
I don’t know how much longer
 I ‘m going to live.

Can you help me Jesus?  I know that you can.
There’s no one else who’ll listen
 or understand…

I’m going to get on my knees and begin to pray…
And ask for God’s help.  I’ll do it TODAY!

I trust his power to break this habit of mine…
This is the hour!  This is the time!

I need true freedom.  And a love that will last.
Everything I’ve tried…  Disappears fast!

To you Lord Jesus I give my life that’s broken.
“Please come into my heart…”
  Are the words spoken.

“Help me Lord to have victory within…”
“And thank you Lord for being my friend!”

By Jim Pemberton  
 02/05/11


Details | Rhyme | |

Are We Being Driven to God's Elimination


Are We Being Driven to God’s Elimination? In the names of diversity and anti-discrimination. It’s like we’re being driven to God’s elimination! God is being “forced” from many institutions! All in the name of this country’s constitution! We’re told that God and this country must be “separated.” Anything less is what many would call; “discriminated.” Any forms of Godly virtues or values are “torn down.” Any symbol of a cross, is often “removed from the town.” It’s no wonder that this country’s in such a big mess! And yet this country wants to be strong and blessed? “What shall the righteous do if the foundations are destroyed?” Meanwhile, the tide of ungodliness, is often “enjoyed.” Those who are trying to remove God! You must beware! His judgment is soon coming! And will catch you unaware! There’s will come a day! When God’s wrath you will endure! The wages of sin is death! This is very true and sure! People may think that removing God is the “thing to do.” Anyone who attempts to do will wind up as “a fool.” Only God can fill the void in life and true love within! Only he has the power to free your soul from sin! The words; “in God we trust,” in our lives must be applied! Everything we’ll ever need… God has supplied! God is this country’s hope! It’s only true foundation! We need HIM right now! To come and heal our nation! By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

a mother no more

i once had a mother 
and a sister 
and a brother

her head was twisted
she wished for death
and barely missed it
 
she hated her life
 all she wanted was  true love 
and to become a wife

she tried soo hard  to end it 
but her spirit failed to split
   ************

they sent me away
i can still remember
grandma coming and helping 
me pack that day

As i alone walked to the car
i looked back
not understanding the distance 
so far

she shut the door
and i knew in that moment
she was my mother no more

and in that moment let my 
mind know
its time for all of us to just let 
go

months later i got a strange call
and i knew
sometimes rehab cant fix em` 
all

To: my real mom
Whom has placed this horrible 
curse I call life upon me


Details | Rhyme | |

Setting up House

I met a woman, fell in love
She was a gift from above
Soon she became my spouse
We gathered things and set up house.

Some things were new without a flaw
Some were hand me downs from Ma and Paw
For some we saved nickels in a can
Some were bought on the installment plan.

Children came – a total of four
Two boys – two girls- no need for more
We managed to provide room and board
Did the best we could afford.

We moved around from house to house
On an adventure – me and my spouse
Gathering things to which we would cling
But we rarely got rid of anything.

Tables, chairs, couches, and beds
Cabinets and shelves taller than our heads
Mugs, pictures, and bells we did collect
Mementoes and heirlooms on which to reflect.

A man gathers a lot in over fifty years
And remembers many of them with tears
Many a thing still fills my house
But it’s not a home without my spouse.

She has a room in a retirement home
Care is provided and she cannot roam
I dreamed one day we would be old timers
But I never figured on Alzheimer’s.

Now I have a house full of stuff
Too many things - more than enough
The time has come to downsize
To an apartment in the high rise.

My children came one by one
Went through my stuff until they were done
One takes this and another takes that
And managed to do so without a spat.

Giving things away is a lonely task
My irritability I cannot mask
Gathering things with my spouse
Was more fun than cleaning out house.



Details | Acrostic | |

Ask Nothing of This World

Ask Nothing of this World

What is this?
What sleek retribution is held within the
Slightest movement on the soil?
What slim issues stance is almost broken
In cadence and cascade?
Words shall leave the senses blind,
Enough, time will find a healing balm for
Eye to seize the day, when all in dreams must
Fade; oh, this is not a sadness offered; this is not the final cut of circumstance; for
yes, my fellow’s dreams are sharp, yes their corners are folded clarity; all plans are
Squared away this day; all is smooth and proper in
Some ceremony of guilt and pleasure – but low a lasting treasure is found beyond such rituals,
Such histrionic poses; beyond your comprehension –
A gift which beats a pulsar tympani – as angels moan
In symphony to herald the coming of His summation;
His fingers on the moon, unseen tendrils tug the axis
of the universe toward a sanguine moment…
Shout this Brothers!
True!
His fiber strands withstand all trauma, his nightly dream,
Your daily drama to give your heart a twirl,
To ask nothing of this world.


Details | Rhyme | |

Being A Vessel of God

Being A Vessel of God...

 I met someone in a very difficult situation.
I kept walking and gave
 "no explanation."

I was then asked a very
 direct question:
"I thought you said that 
you're a Christian!"

I began to feel a conviction within my soul.
"Which direction should I take"  
I didn't know.

Either keep walking, or stop 
to help this person in need.
"I suppose just this once... 
I'll do a generous deed."

I reached out and loved 
him in Jesus' name.
And told him that it was for his life 
that our savior came.

My heart was broken as I heard 
all he had gone through.
I was speechless.  I really didn't
 know what to do.

I decided to buy him a cup of coffee 
and a sandwich as well.
And shared that Jesus loves
 him more than words can tell.

He thanked me and said, 
"I'm so glad that you care."
I then was able to lead him 
into a  salvation prayer.

We talked more about God before 
we each went our own way.
But I'll never forget what happened 
that particular day.

It helped me begin to 
realize and truly see...
How God wants so much to use 
someone like me...

By JIm Pemberton  


Details | Ballad | |

"MOM"

Roses are all different colors now.
And the violets don't even really know-
that the sugar is not feeling so sweet, anymore.
Cuz' love left nothing behind, just me-
I didn't go...

The colors all think that their hues are all used up-
And all these souls don't know where to go...
Somehow, the sky remains bluish gray up above, 
but lights no path for the lost to roam.
There is no place for them to call home.

No one is waiting. No one cares.
No one is crying because you feel dead.
No one is calling. No one is coming.
No one is crying because you're not there.

Theres nothing to live for,
but your breath comes just the same...
Theres nothing to die for, either-
We live in their f__'ed-up GAME...

Theres no one to love you just because they want to-
No one to be proud for all the real good you do...
No one to kiss your Boo-Boo's all better-
No One. Not Anymore. Not Ever...

And....
No One, (remember?), had to show her the door;
She opened it herself, turned and looked at you for the last time-
knowing that she'd no longer, EVER, be able to look you in the eye...
She couldn't grace you with Good-Bye.
You deserved some acknowledgment, or some reason why...
A reason for all these wasting tears-
The ones I still can't hide...

No explanation for her decision.
She left before you could even ask why(?)
You try to understand why she betrayed your trust.
The only trust, in the one & only mother you ever had...

You lost all FAITH in me, Mom-
And I always held your hand...

Right or Wrong- YOU, I stood beside.
I guess in all these years, I shouldn't of held on so F-N tight...
All the while I thought you were loving me,
You were just taking me for a ride...

I WISH someone would've told me, 
how my part played out, long ago...
Because I could've walked here FASTER-
And I could've done it all ALONE.....


K.C. feb25,2006


Details | Rhyme | |

Why Did You Hide It

So many emotions
locked up inside,
no where to run,
my feelings I hide.

I try to cry,
the tears won't
come.
I sit here still,
my body is numb.

My mind always
wanders
to your hospital
bed,
and the only image I
see,
is you lifeless,
dead.

That image still
haunts me
both day and at
night.
Although you looked
peaceful,
I couldn't bear the
sight. 

For in that moment, 
my world stopped.
My heart was in my
throat,
my stomach dropped.

I grabbed your hand
and held on tight.
I bowed my head,
knowing you lost the
fight.

I never saw it
coming,
no not this quick.
Why didn't you tell
us,
that you were so
sick?

Why did you hide it?
Why didn't you let
us know?
We could have fought
this together,
before we had to let
you go...


Details | Quatrain | |

STILL WAITING

I'm trying to be patient.
It's taken many years.
I've gotten through the toughest part.
I'm all cried out of tears.

I'm waiting for the mother
that is coming back for me.
I'm sure she will come back real soon...
She'll be here.........you will see.

I've told her how I need her.
She knows how long it's been.
She walked away 24 years ago
when I was only ten.

Some say 'Give up, it's over! '
That just could never be.
I will wait for her return
as long as there's breath in me.

I've talked to her, she knows me
She'll be back and then we'll sing
Till then I'll just be patient
I'm here..........Still Waiting. 


Details | Romanticism | |

What about me?

I’m so very sick of this
I no longer have his touch
I no longer have his kiss
With each passing second
He is the one I will forever miss
And yet love is supposed to be
Happily ever after and filled with endless bliss
I’m telling you though
I’m so very sick of this

I’m completely worn of it
She breaks me down 
Everyday bit by bit
Do this, do that
When these are her things and she’s perfectly fit
To carry the tasks out for herself
Being here is taking its toll and handing me hard hits
Yet I have no where to go
So here is where I sit
Day after day, night after night
But with every breath I take
I’m completely worn of it

For so long I’ve cared for everyone else’s feelings
But now it’s time I take back control
All of this has left my heart, soul, and mind reeling
And on the sleeve of my shirt you will find
Every essence of me bleeding
My mind constantly wonders, thinking of those memories
As slowly but surly my precious time now is what they are stealing
Put it all back where it should be and move on
It’s been too long with me caring for everyone else’s feelings

At the end of the day I’m left here saying what about me?
Never any answer do I have
Just the asking and the questioning
Am I not good enough for you
Am I not good enough to be me
Seems as though you’re ashamed
That is until it’s me with whom you need to be
Perhaps you should both open you’re eyes
But I still doubt at this moment you will ever truly see
Just how special I am
Just how lucky you are to have had me
I’m now trying on my own
To get the hell up off my knees
Where are either one of you?
Hum….you’re over there doing as you please
From all what I am, and from these feeling I will always have
I long something awful to be free
Because as of yet
Neither one of you has come to see
That at the end of each and every single day
I’m the one left here asking what about me?

…….one day in the near future or distant time
You just may open you’re eyes and search
Wondering why it’s me that either of you just can’t any longer find….


Details | Rhyme | |

The Day America Stood Still

It just took one day
To grab our attention
There’s not much to say
But lots of reflection.

The airplanes they flew
Wreaking havoc on all
No one had a clue
That the towers would fall.

Such cowards with hate
They claimed so many lives
On that terrible date
Left husbands without wives.

So many were lost
Our sisters and brothers
Their lives were the cost
Plus fathers and mothers.

Many stood with awe
They were asking why
For what they just saw
Coming out of the sky.

Such terror and fear
And so quickly they hit
The end may be here
Should I run, stand or sit?

The heroes did save
As many as they could
For their lives they gave
Not knowing that they would.

People hung their flags
Keeping their families near
Many body bags
This horror wasn’t clear.

Honoring that morn
Our eyes begin to fill
The world was torn
America stood still.


Details | Rhyme | |

I Remember Back When

								 

I  remember at the young age of 9 or 10.
Going to the theater was 
considered a sin.
There were many things 
that as a young boy.
That I wanted to explore and enjoy.

My parents may have been "old fashioned."
They were filled with a Godly
love and compassion.
I look back now and with some hesitation.

And think about this 
"new generation."
I wonder "where have all of the morals gone to?"
Some parents are doing things, as a kid, I'd never do.
Many of the "Godly" parents don't seemed concerned.
What's right or wrong—they can't discern.

What once was a dividing line 
between black and white.
Is now; "if it feels good—it must be allright."
The savior's call for holiness in your life must dwell.
Living by his word will save your family from hell.

Maybe living for Jesus is by some, 
"a narrow way of living."
May your life be one of sacrifice, 
holiness and thanksgiving.
May your commitment be true, your heart sincere.
For one day very soon, Jesus shall appear.
Now's the time to be an example
of Jesus' precious name.
When he comes —will you be ready—
or be ashamed?

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Lyric | |

We Walk Amongst The Faithful

We walk amongst the faithful. Unknown to human eyes. So normal and so human, They can't see through our disguise. The tears of angels made us As they flew down from the sky. They didn't want to do it, So all they did was cry. We're stuck amongst the ruin. The horror and despair. We've seen a bit too closely To the heart of Evil's lair. We walk amongst the faithful. Unknown to human eyes. So normal and so human, They can't see through our disguise. We're scarred up on the inside, But outside we're just fine. We hide the truth so well They can't see into our lies. Our daddies were all drinkers. And when they would get mad, They'd take it out us poor souls, And boy were we so glad When Daddy drank himself to sleep, And we could go and hide. Carve another scar into our heart Which was hidden deep inside. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so human They can't see through our disguise. Our mommies all liked men Perhaps a bit too much They sampled fair and far And didn't mind the touch. When Mommy fell asleep, Her boyfriends would come down And they would scare us half to death And they'd start to mess around. And after they were done Ravaging our broken souls We'd take our chance to run And hide from things we'd never know. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so human They can't see through our disguise. Our families are all broken We have no place to hide No place to let our tears out Let out what hurts inside. And now we sit here all alone In this dark corner as all hope Evades our longing hands We've lost our way to cope. And now we hide our feelings And what they've done to every “me”. We hold our chins up high. We do not let them see. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so humans Can't see through our disguise We pretend it doesn't happen We can't let anyone know Our traitor of a heart Is something we can't show. Would anyone even understand What we hold inside our hearts? Or would we be a freak show A different world apart? Maybe one day we will find one Every single one of us Someone who will understand Someone we can trust.


Details | Free verse | |

He Never Shook My Hand - Part 3

Glad to be back at my apartment,
I hung my coat,
Took off my shoes,
And stepped into the lounge.

I was greeted by my mother,
As I entered the room,
Her visit unexpected,
But a warm and welcome face.

Instinctively she knew my feelings,
My face gave away,
The fear within,
She wrapped her arms around me.

So warm and safe, I drift and dream, Always glad, in mother’s arms, Gently so she lays me down, Victim of my mother’s charms. Never could I come to harm, Here within my cradle bed, With mother softly singing so, As she strokes my sleepy head. My ever present Angel sighs, And with such angelic grace, She sings her simple lullaby, And presses pillow over face.
In disbelief I pulled away, Stared her in the eye, Almost ran across the room, And told my mother to leave.


Details | Free verse | |

Love vanished

Seven years have passed
since first I married him
Whence he succombed his bride
Yet when I told him of babe we’d due
it felt our love just withered up and died

For the man he changed,
no, the child we had not planned
Pushed me around until to others ashamed I lied
I’d fallen, or bumped myself again,
backed him up, supported him, everything denied.

When babe was born,
I thought we’d learn to love
Try to make things work together with pride
But now cut off from all my friends in time,
it’s nursing I only now that I must bide.

Although I raise our child
I am so sad, my life has stopped,
when they play up I fret that you will chide
and fear that you’ll know not of when to stop
Frightened, huddled close we rock, we hide.

Once grown up, at school a freedom found,
whilst you’re at work – your daily grind.
Lucky new friend we find to guide
us back to safety relieved, released.
Apart, I know head high that I had tried.


Details | I do not know? | |

Me

Been through a lot these seventeen years of living,
Growing up with abuse in my home,
Wanting to leave and flee,
But afraid I was going to leave and be on my own,
Wishing someone would rescue me and my family from the hurt,
The hurt we faced many times seeing the one you love the most being abused,
Abused many days and many nights,
Wondering why,
The answer was because he was the only one in charge,
Almost Seven and these things were still happening,
Wow wonder why they happened to my life,
Don't know why God let me see the hurt,
Did he know I would face the hurt forever?
My family finally had a chance to get away from the hurt and the abuse,
We found a house and much more,
We were a happy family,
A family that will one day be the best of the best,
Thank you jesus for letting us go through the hurt to get a better life that we deserve!


Details | Quatrain | |

A Mothers Love?

How can a mother not hurt
when her child cries out in pain?
How can she turn and look away
when there's so much to be gained?

If only her heart would open
and let God show the way,
to happiness and love everlasting.
For this, I'll always pray.

Is it possible to just feel nothing
towards the child you gave away?
Please say there is at least a hope
that you will love me again some day.

When I look at my child I feel love.
I could never turn my back.
But you never felt that way towards me.
Is it something that I lack?


Details | Rhyme | |

Without God We're Empty Within


Without God… We’re Empty Within! Without God… Our life is filled with emptiness within. And is quickly absorbed into the quicksand of sin! Without God… We are like sheep that have gone astray. Being confused... And going the wrong way! Without God… We have no moral compass or guide. And soon become arrogant and filled with pride! Without God… We are like a ship that’s lost at sea. Not knowing who we are or where we’re going to be! Without God… We have no true hope or security. Everything becomes meaningless and utter vanity! Without God… We have a life built on a “shaky” foundation. It’s only through HIM… We can become a new creation! With God… All things are possible to those who believe! An abundant life with Christ… You can achieve! With God… Your life can be cleansed and made whole! Only he can bring true love to your soul! With God… Can you find eternal life so joyful and bliss! God’s purpose for your life. You don’t want to miss! With God… You can have peace and joy you never had! He’ll give you a reason to be happy and glad! With God… Things in your life will never be the same! That moment you reach out… And call on HIS name! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Why Am I So Selfish?

Why am I so selfish? 
I should think more of her.
But instead of seeing what could be
I'm being so immature.

I know she's truly suffering.
That should be my main concern.
Yet all I seem to think about is...
'Will she ever learn? '

Her lungs are black as tar.
She needs help just to breathe.
Hearing that she'll smoke again
makes me simply seethe.

She knows what she is doing.
She's not a little child.
I thought that only young people
did stuff that's dumb and wild.

Don't set aside the oxygen
so you can have a smoke.
You're dying right in front of me.
This pain is not a joke. 


Details | Free verse | |

The Capsule of Validity

She trickles and puddles in pools of warped fabrications,
With insipid and sheepish defenses,
She clouds my concentration of clarity and washes away the pitiful pigment—
Swallow.
Swallow the mystic pain of proper awareness,
And as the tremor of repulsive reality flumes over me,
Every sense is sharp, cruel, and plastered on the wall of grief, 
I am catatonic. 
Pop one, two, three down the rabbit hole of ignorant bliss, 
And become conscious.  
Conscious of my role in the game of deception,
And of my inept, used, and trampled body.

The exasperated shades deluge my blind feeble eyes, 
Yet still I yearn for the pill of knowledge. 


Details | Narrative | |

Lost Memories

Slowly fading away

Are your memories of me

Forgotten moments

Glimpses of recollection

Then disappearing

In confusion

Knowing without knowing

Familiar of the unfamiliar

Living in another world

Not remembering anything

Slipping away before my eyes

In silence my heart cries

Watching you slowly fade away

Loving you now like yesterday

Here I stay

Embracing hearts in reach.


Details | Narrative | |

Her Personal Curse (Part One) *warning, graphic in nature*

In a drunken stupor, I fall down on my comforter
Baby blue sky covered in fluffy clouds of cotton.
I kick off my shoes, faded pink chuck Taylors
And make clumsy work of my shirt buttons.

I slip an oversized shirt over my head, Bart Simpson,
And pull it straight passed over my bra and panties, past my knees.
Now in the dark, on my bed, I hear the door creak open.
I turn to see your silhouette, and I hear the door behind you locking.

I sat up, before you lunged on top of me, and smacked me in the face.
I tried to push you off, but a little girl is nothing against a man.
Fear pinned me down with your arms, the look in your eye was crazed.
I yelled out as you punched me again, before stifling my breath with your hand.

I felt your fingers probe underneath my shirt, rough and groping.
The straps tore at my flesh as you ripped my bra apart.
I tried to push your hand off my face, I was having trouble breathing
But when you took your hand off and I gasped for air, it fell back against my cheek hard

I stopped trying to push you away, tears streaming, afraid you’d hit me again.
I bucked when your course fingers pinched, it only seemed to excite you more.
I cringed as you raked your nails deep down my stomach digging in.
You stopped at the top of my panties before yanking them till they tore.

Panic sliced through me as I felt you unclasping your jeans, understanding swept me.
I knew then what you intended to do and my blood ran cold at the thought.
You took your hand off of my mouth and threatened to kill me if I screamed
But I yelled anyway begging for help, preying that you would be caught.

I was silenced by a stinging blow that sent me hard against the head board.
Too disoriented by it to yell again before you were done taking off my t shirt.
Through blurry eyes and mind I felt your eager hands pillage and explore.
I was smacked again for screaming at how badly your fingers inside me hurt.

You showed no mercy as I screamed in pain against the palm of your hand.
You only continued to probe and play, talking dirty to me, making me talk back.
Through bloodied lips and wrenching pain I was abused by this man
He made me say unmentionable things about him, while he cruelly laughed.


Details | Rhyme | |

Can God Find You Faithful

Can God Find You Faithful?

I once knew a man had made
up his mind.
He left his wife and children behind!

He met someone who “captured his heart.”
This was a deception 
from the very start!

His wife gave God and their kids
her love and attention...
But her husband went
Into another direction!

  They went to church...
 And did their "Sunday best."
How could this 
 turn into such a mess?

Temptation can happen to anyone!. 
Whether rich or poor.
Be careful what you allow to
 enter your heart's door.

Regardless of whether you've been
 married for a lot of years..."
One shameful act can bring
 heartache and tears!

The love that’s been given...
  Let no one take away!
No matter what others think...
 Or what they might say.

Stay true to God!  You'll be 
glad you did!
His love and joy will bless you
 each day you live!

Jesus will never forsake you!
Or leave you alone!
Allow HIM to bring peace and
 restore your home!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

How Could I

How can I not love her? For I know She would give all that she is, and does, and has for my good How can I not hate her? For it is as true: My obedience is betrayal of our shared values


Details | Prose Poetry | |

WHAT WOUND DID EVER HEAL

“What wound did ever heal, 
But by degrees”
…Shakespeare
Except my mother was dear
…Very dear

Count me among men
Who can read and write
Count me among them
Who finds book a delight
No!
Not about intelligence
Mother taught me diligence
Scrapped for a living
So I could get learning
I am a dead woman’s sweat
My worries cracked her chest
My mother was my literacy
My literacy is my treasure
My treasure…is you
I wrote what you can read
She was its measure.
I never paid back 
Never gave thanks.
Prodigal son playing pranks

On me,
She had learned to hope
Then died
In last breath still in hope
That I lose not hope
But what hope lies there 
For a drawing man to hope
Last straw, just sank in
Wide Sea without and within

Wounds heal by degrees
But some can’t heal
Only permitted to blurred
My tears blur my view
Soaks the ink in papers
Forcing me to rewrite and renew
She will not want me to cry
Rather that I sit up and try
Dab my eyes, let the tears dry.
“I know who you are my son”
You are awesome”
Mama, you always tell me that
But am breaking down.
Your lose never healed
Shakespeare said its by degrees
Said the pain will decrease
But I detest full healing
You were so appealing.


Details | I do not know? | |

An Innocent Child

A young homeless child
Looking for a home but finds none.
On my first day at school the mother's not around
To comfort me when I'm down-right scared
An innocent child of seventeen
I find myself locked up in a placement
An innocent child now afraid of time
Will I forget my goals and dreams?
I go to Maryhurst
And meet people who care
I learn about peer pressure and much more
Now comes the time
To break through.....
The Fear


Details | I do not know? | |

Redemption of a Child

It has been years of terror, pain, nightmarish hell!
Little girl in faded cast offs, shuffled from back room to main office.
Disembodied voices, cubicles, paperwork, a drab cell.
Letterhead, Department Of Children Services, an address and phone number.
Eyes suspicious, blond hair ragged. Nevada  midsummer.
Woman, excruciatingly thin, pale, tired and sunken.
Child, fearful, nervous, confused emotions drunken.
Summer, its mama, please remember me.
Child, through fog of lies and time. A lonely little flicker, remembrance possibly?
Four years gone, milk carton child, young innocence stolen.
Home lost no more, hell traded for future gossamer dreams, golden.

                                                                                                      Summer Gratias


Details | I do not know? | |

Just a dream, just a dream...

Silent halls
a clock ticks endlessly on the wall
the smell of nothing in the air
nurses far away; they don't care
I'm going crazy. It's too quiet.
I'm in bed. Sterilized needles near it.
I'm scared of needles. Take them away!
Footsteps. My mom comes in. She whispers to me.
I look at her. Something's not right. 
It's dark outside. Dusk has passed; it's night.
The calender reads December.
It was morning in August last I remember.
What's going on? Mom picks up a needle. I tense.
She grabs my arm. I want to run, the fear is intense. 
I do. I run as fast as I can.
Away away away. I crash into a man.
He looks funny. He's all blurry.
My mom calls my name. I try to run.
The man grabs my wrist and I try to peer
at his face. He's still blurry. I see a leer
on his face. It frightens me. I thrash around
trying to break free of his hold. My mom is there. She found me!
My eyes widen as I see the mans face clearly.
My eyes open as wide as they can, nearly
swallowing my face. White. White. I'm in my room.
My breath comes out in gasps. I look at the clock. It's noon.
It was just a dream.
Just a dream.
Just a dream. 


Details | Rhyme | |

I Can't Do This Anymore It's Dragging Me Down

I just can’t keep “doing this” any longer! What am I doing? I began to wonder… This “sin” just keeps dragging me further down… What do I do? There’s no one around??? This “thing” has got a hold on me… I cry every night… I want to be FREE! I’ve tried and tried… But to no avail… Just when I think I have victory… I fail! I’ve read in scripture of a power that I haven’t seen. I read of a savior who can do ANYTHING! Why don’t I give him a try? I’ve nothing to lose! I’ve been so hurt, worn out and abused..… To you, dear Jesus… I confess my every sin. And can feel your love from deep within! Thank you Jesus! For giving me a joy I never knew… I don’t know where I’d be if not for YOU! You’ve brought to my life a peace I never had. For all you’ve done for me. I am so glad! Won’t YOU give your burdens to this one… I call friend? And experience the joy of being born again? Please come to him now. Why not this hour? And experience his life-changing power! By Jim Pemberton 01/17/10


Details | Rhyme | |

A Big Problem In Churches Today


A Big Problem In Churches Today… There’s a big problem in churches deep within… Very few preach on the topic of; “SIN.” Sin is a very powerful and destructive force! Many families are coming apart and ending in divorce! Getting involved in perversions of various kinds… Many are getting a garbage of filth in their minds! Too many pastors are afraid to preach of a God who’s HOLY! They remain silent and consider it a bunch of “baloney! It’s just too easy to come and play “the Sunday game.” But at home… Things are not the same! Not everyone in church is doing fine and “o.k.” It doesn’t matter how you listen or what you say! God is a God of love but also of holiness too! He wants the best kind of life for me and YOU! He said to “take up the cross and come follow me!” This is the only way we can be TOTALLY FREE!!! Whatever sin or problem is “holding you down.” Seek the awesome presence of Jesus that can be found! If you can’t find his presence in your church building… Come to him in prayer! Seek his power of forgiving! He is God! There is NOTHING that you need to fear! Through the blood of Jesus… Your sins will disappear! He is and will always reward those who diligently seek him! All of your struggles you can put “beneath him!” “Though your sins be as back as scarlet, they can be as white like snow!” Once you’ve met the master. And the redeemer of your soul! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Mom

I love you mom.
I wish there was a word to describe my appreciation.
But there’s not a word to compare
To my feelings that are really there.
I also want to thank you
Not just from a son but a brother.
I praise you as the greatest mother.
Growing up in near poverty,
Never doing without.
You passed that test no doubt.
For this I’m blessed.
Plus thru it all you never turned your back,
Really what more could I ask?
I love you mom
I have to say thank you for going above and beyond!!!!


Details | I do not know? | |

Happy Birthday Marie, 100

Happy Birthday Marie, 100,
splashed across the evening news.
Replete with colour photograph,
seen wearing another girls shoes.

Happy Birthday Marie, not knowing.
In meltdown, fused in your chair.
Your family, they loved the Queen's telegram,
and look there's the Deputy Mayor!

Happy Birthday Marie, not hearing.
The paper describes you past tense.
Dream of the cat that sits on your lap,
as none of this makes any sense.

Happy Birthday Marie, dementia.
Alone, with your family round,
long suffering daughter bears crucifixed grin,
she's aware you are already drowned.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Never---------is the right time Exit------stage left

From tots barely walking unaware of life’s fears.
To the rich in spirit and full of years.
A bright torch, now extinguished……results in tears.

For blood, friends, and neighbors raw unchecked emotions surface……love, guilt, hate, anger…it’s a varied toss.

Realizing you will never contact, hear, or see your loved one again, only deepens the emotional loss.

Do what you gotta do, to make it through.

Forgive yourself….if need be seek professional help, beats wearing a strait jacket long sleeved.

To the living of dearly departed matriarchs, mothers, women rest assured; “A lady always knows when to leave”…..


Details | Rhyme | |

Ethanol

While some enjoy it without any regret,
other's see it as a threat.

I have seen what it can do to a life,
for the victim is my dear wife.

For I know she is not the only one in the world who has endured much suffering,
damn you liquor store or bartender about to serve a rum sling.

She is not the lush with this wretched disease,
but the one that is loved she cannot appease.

I've always said that her ambition to help and assist this poor soul was a waste,
and yet this person cannot be replaced.

The deception, desperation, destruction to ones self would make you ask "why"?,
try to understand it and you'll break down and cry.

It appears now that this person cannot be saved even though she has knocked 
at deaths door,
as hard as this request from me is "this woman you must IGNORE".

Self pity will get you nowhere fast,
the addiction will surely outlast.

Ethanol oh! ethanol another life you have claimed,
you are not a person or living thing that can be blamed.

Why?  is all I can ask about pretty much everything, why?

Do you really want to hear the answer? 

Or the excuse that has destroyed your trust?

You must let go, you must move on,
before all that you are inside is gone.






Details | Rhyme | |

WHO Built YOUR House


This house of ours is “plain.” 
But is still standing.
We’re “simple folks...”
 By many people’s  understanding…

We may not have much of what is 
“socially appealing”…
But we have love in our hearts.  
And this is a good feeling!

We may not be “wrapped up” in much
 of this world’s entertainment.
But we seek God’s peace 
and a desire for contentment.

We, as a family, have one purpose
 and “calling” in mind.
To seek God’s ways of being
 merciful and kind…

Each day we pray with much
 thankfulness in our hearts…
For this is where happiness
 and gratitude starts!

We’re thankful to the Lord for
 his unfailing grace…
And for keeping us together
 in this special place…

We’re blessed to have a God who
 is truly worth finding.
His word in our lives is precious
  and worth memorizing!

“Unless the Lord builds the house,
 they labor in vain that build it!”
God must rule and reign…  
 So his love can completely fill it!

By Jim Pemberton  


Details | Free verse | |

Black or white

A quarrel between white and black 
Occurred between my mother and I 
I say black 
My mother yells white
Is it a battle between darkness and light?
Is it an obsession of some kind?
Is she the angel and I myself become the demon?
Just because I picked a color that matched
Matched my personality 
Matched my exquisitely
Black smolder?
Dark being?
Mysterious soul?
Just because she’s my mother
Doesn’t mean she can control my habit
My choices
I wear what I want to wear
I think what I want to think 
I choose whatever my mind plans
No orders from her
No decisions she has to make
For me
Thank you for everything
But my life isn’t yours
Mother I don’t care what people think 
Let them die thinking
It is me 
It is me that is talking
It is I that is acting 
No orders 
No orders 
From you or anyone else
Start understanding that 
I know you want the best for me
But I know what’s best for me
If I screw up I’ll deal with my mistakes
If I succeed, I want you to be happy
Please mother
No force…


Details | Couplet | |

Biography

I have this desire
To write and inspire.
But would the world open its ears and listen
When most of my life has already been written?
What about my life could possibly be said
To make it worthy of being read?
Sexually abused by a family friend,
These were dark times that seemed to have no end.
Raped and verbally abused,
This was a life I didn’t choose. 
As a third grader I was obsessed with my mortality.
My mother had a severe hoarding tendency. 
My father was physically there, but emotionally absent.
I possessed a strong fear of peer judgment.
Drugs and alcohol littered my street.
Strangers became the only people I’d meet.
 I saw men bleed until their last breath.
I’ve felt the sting of a premature death.
I saw evil on a daily basis. 
I became just a number in a social worker’s cases. 
I feared I’d be called a liar.
It was a constant battle to keep my head held higher.
The stories of my life could fill a book,
But would anyone bother to take a look?


Details | I do not know? | |

A Poem For Boo

Honey I know I failed you for so many years...
I really wanted to take from you sadness and tears...
I love you forever and I  will forever...
I enjoy every moment we have together...
I want you to know I didn't want to be away...
If I could take it all back I would today.

I wasnt the alcholic mom you thought I was...
I didn't leave just because...
I thought if I just danced one last time we'de be okay...
but one turned to many, and the money went away.

I really wish I was woman enough to give you your father...
But I think he was to young to bother...
I am sorry I devorced your dad...
I do know it made you sad...
I wanted to give you a better world...
I love you so much my babygirl.

I am sorry I wish I had been a better mom to you...
Now I am wanted your heart to be true...
I am really sorry and I wish I had made better choices...
Instead I was fighting to many voices.


Boo, I am really sorry I hurt you I wish for you I had made better choices. I never 
wanted to hurt you or leave you behind. I hope you know you are part of my 
happyness I will never give up again.


Details | Rhyme | |

An Adulterous Situation

An Adulterous Situation I knew of a couple, involved in an adulterous situation. A person involved, claimed that he was a Christian! He told others that he wanted to tell her about the Lord… But this involvement in sin, he couldn’t well “afford!” A “casual” encounter led to the marriage’s destruction. Her husband was so hurt, he could hardly “function.” How could this man think there’s “nothing wrong with it.” “It must be fine.” He thought. “everyone’s doing it!” Jesus has come, that we might have freedom from within! Going to church, doesn’t give us a “license to sin!” God gave us marriage, as a holy and divine covenant! He gave us his word, so that our lives can be abundant! May this be a stern warning to one and all! That which may look attractive, will cause us to fall! If there’s something more from marriage that you desire… Be careful! Your deep passions will burn like a fire! May I encourage you to pray and seek the Lord above! And ask him to build your marriage on his love! Only he can restore everything the enemy has taken! He’ll be with you, when you may feel totally forsaken! Adultery is like a cancer cell… That will eventually destroy! It’ll rob you of the many blessings, that God wants you to enjoy! What God has joined as one... May there be no separation! But a heart of unselfishness, and a renewed dedication! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Walked Away

When she first left I was suspended 
in fear
Confused and alone, I just couldn’t 
believe my ears
I could not trust that what they 
heard was real
That you could just leave and not 
understand what I feel

For sixteen years, you were a 
presence in my life
Then one fateful day you 
disappeared overnight
You left us for him and never looked 
back
Farewell my sister, you’ve taken a 
different track

A road that keeps you forever from 
me
I don’t think you realised how painful 
it would be
For yourself and myself, for our 
mother and our father
And above all the one that you hurt 
the most, you liar

We both know who it was so it need 
not be said 
You ruined a life and his spark is now 
dead
Unbelievable as your absence, this is 
far worse
You turned on our brother and it was 
all just a farce

Not only do I still struggle to live with 
my past
Again and again my world shakes, 
uncontrollably fast
Only a few years after you left 
someone else followed
Into the darkness he walked, the 
darkness it swallowed

If that was not painful enough, I still 
had to live on
I had to forge ahead and I had to be 
strong
I had people who depended on my 
courage and strength
I had to walk the line and I had to 
walk its length

First it was my sister and now it was 
my father
Maybe if I did something, maybe if I 
tried harder
Maybe they wouldn’t have left, 
walked away
Maybe they would have found 
enough love for me to stay


Details | Rhyme | |

Make Your Family FIRST


Make Your Family First! I know a person who had “a change of heart.” And very shortly his family “fell apart.” He was involved in doing “so many things.” He neglected the duty of what family brings! He became so involved in helping others… He neglected his wife and his kids’ mother! At first, he had the best of intentions… But failed to give his family any kind of attention! He was so busy, and away from home so much. It didn’t take long for him to be “out of touch.” Very soon he found his life “way off course…” And heading down the path of a divorce! He began to ask himself the question; “why?” As he began to hear all of his kids cry! Beyond all of the chaos and “chatter.” He decided that his family DOES matter! He quit doing many of the things he once did. And asked all of his family to please forgive! He’s now the kind of dad that he needs to be! And is with his family so faithfully! May this be a lesson and reminder to us all! How quickly we can get up. How quickly we can fall! May we put an effort into our family as number one! Every mom and dad! Daughter and son! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

What Has Happened To The Family

I remember growing up in a Christian family.
We were content, joyful and quite happy.

Things were "going along rather well."
We loved each other... more than words could tell.

I think of the special love 
between mom and dad.
As my parents... I was proud and glad!

Over the years that rolled  on by.
Something happened.  I don't know why. 

Our deep love became 
replaced with "excuses."
Our relationshps filed with
 "barsh words and bruises."

This family... I once held so close to my heart.
Began to "unravel and fall apart."

Our love for another became bitter and cold.
Even to the day we're "growing old."

Everywhere... it is evident and appearing.
The family as a unit is quickly disappearing.

We must come together and 
remove all bitterness.
And walk in God's love and his forgiveness!

We must appreciate one another--
in spite of our faults!
Standing together on Godly principles 
brings good results!

It we insist on "going our separate ways."
We'll be sorry "one of these days!"

The family is what God has put together.
It needs to be rooted in love--
both now and forever!

HIS love needs to be the glue 
that binds us as one.
Blessing every mom and dad... 
daughter and son!

By Jim Pemberton
2009


Details | Rhyme | |

The Older I Am

The Older I Am… It seems like the older I am, with each passing day. There’s someone that I know who “passes away.” I remember as a child, 40 seemed to be “old.” Now, it seems quite young. As I’ve been told. This life that I have is wonderful and God given. He wants to be with me each day that I’m livin. The older I am, the more I begin to see. I need much more of God, and a lot less of me! Whatever path in life that I might choose. Without God in control. I’m going to lose! He’s the one that I need to take control. His word brings nourishment to my soul! His word and commandments need to be obeyed. There’s nothing for HIS LOVE I would ever trade! I thank you my lord for the life I have received. An eternal life with you, I want to achieve! The older I am…The closer I get to my mansion above God has blessed me and given me his eternal love! One more day with Jesus is sweeter than before! No matter my age. I’ll always need him MORE! He is and will always be with me till the end of time. I’m so glad that I am his. And he is MINE! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

I've Failed You Once Again

I Have Failed…


Lord, I have failed you time and time again,
By hanging on to my unrepentant sin.
I once thought, “my life will never get off track,”
Until that one day when I committed such a
terrible act.


“No one’s watching me” was what I thought,
not knowing the pain and suffering into my family
I had brought.
That one night of “pleasure” I hoped would go away,
but this sin stares me in the face every single day!

The lust that crept into my once cheerful heart,
Is now eating at me—tearing me all apart.
I once thought I was too good to commit a sin like this,
so many of God’s blessings I now will miss.

To you Jesus—my whole heart I ask you to cleanse.
for in you my whole life now depends.
Create in me a clean heart, renew a right spirit
within me.
Your forgiveness in my life is what others must see.

The most important thing to God I can now give,
Is a broken and contrite heart each day I shall live!


By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

These Are Dificult Times for So Many Without A Job


These Are Difficult Times! These are difficult times, with many frustrations. Many people in hardships and difficult situations! Many are filled with worry and concern. Not really knowing which direction to turn. As more are getting dependent on government. Many without work have lost any kind of fulfillment. While many seek what seems to be the best “plan.” Cries of hopelessness ring throughout the land! I, too, have been without work in the past. Wondering how much longer it would last. The months that went by, turned into years… As I sought assurance for my worries and fears. The only true peace and security I have found. Has brought love, when life came “crashing down.” I found that what really matters the most! Is Jesus! And letting him hold me close! I knew if I lost everything that was around me… God’s presence and peace still surrounds me! He made it very evident and so clear. Whatever happens in life... HE IS ALWAYS HERE! He picked me up when I felt lonely and depressed! With him in my life… I felt comforted and blessed! My problems didn’t disappear in just one day! But through life’s trials… God made a way! Whatever difficulty or problem you may face… Won’t you accept God’s gift of mercy and grace? He can do more than any other power can do! And brings meaning to the words; “I LOVE YOU!” By Jim Pemberton


Details | Sonnet | |

To be loved

Like an eagle in butcher’s corners
Some have embraced it like sands
They are the chicks of hen mothers
Protected from the hard craws of hard beaked birds

Though all in the spherical are
Most from milk teeth are thy denied.
Hovering from every tom & harie
Looking like a raining season vulture

That petched on dry wood.
With feathers like an avian infulexa bird.
 Aching of heart at moon time is thy mood.
With oceans flowing through their lids.

To be loved thy are privilege
Enjoy by the class of privilege.



Details | Rhyme | |

A Mothers Cry

A Mothers cry comes from deep in the soul
The sound is even strange to her, truth be told
It is natural yet wild as it rips through her heart
A thought of her child suffering can tear her world apart
She would give her own life and that's just a start
Could a Mother's cry be a cry straight from God's Heart?


Details | I do not know? | |

Fourteen

Twisting, turning tearing apart
Your like a Tornado to my heart
Every time I pick up the peaces put them back
Here you come again with another attack

I can not forsake you
Or walk away
You are my baby boy in blue
I have to stay


Details | Rhyme | |

When Life Get's TOUGH

I’m here to tell you that when “the going get’s rough…” A simple, “God bless you!” May not be enough! Just when you think things in life are getting you down… And perhaps there’s “not a friend anywhere to be found…” Perhaps… Right now… You find yourself right there! Let me encourage you to try some prayer! Jesus is as close as the mention of his name! With him in control… Things will never be the same! He’ll speak peace to the raging waters of life’s ocean… And will give to you… His 100% “love potion!” He’ll bring peace and healing to your heart and home. He’s always there with you. You’re NEVER alone! The chains of discouragement will simply disappear… His perfect love will cast out all fear! He’ll pick up the pieces of life that are broken... As you allow his words of love and hope to be spoken. He’ll do for you what no power or god can do… He’s here right now He’s waiting for YOU! By Jim Pemberton 04/26/11


Details | I do not know? | |

I just Thought,

People may say that i am a spoiled little brat.
    Only becuase they see what they wan't to see.
   We all have been through things in our life time that we just want to forget, but we just can't  seem to forget.

My mom has put me through many things "but lets not say" in the past.  And i have learned from some of those things.  It made me a stronger person inside and outside. 

  I don't know my father at all. I wasn't even born when my mom was around him.
 But i have a loving family.

I would never change my past even if i had the chance.  Becuase if i did then i wouldn't be 
where i am now.

 People who are out there that are judging people based on how they act or look, are stupid. Wise up and grow up... 
Those people you judge have a GOOD reason for the way they look or act.
 And maybe they need some one there to talk to. To get things off their 
back.

                        Just like the saying. "Don't judge a book by it's cover"



*just something  that i had to say* :)comment if you have a thought (or fav poem if you like it)*


Details | Rhyme | |

THE MADNESS OF JOSEPHINE

She wears only a light robe
and doesn't complains it's cold;
may I introduce her to you guys:
her name is crazy Josephine...
she drinks alchool and uses morphine...
what a shame: she a grandmother and tells lies!


Fatter than a cow, she eats cookies
dunked in carnation milk...and laughs as a freak,
or a drag queen showing her silver teeth;
that makes me think: did she ever take down those bullies!


I talked to her and told her to get off that staff immediately,
it doesn't work for her depression and loneliness...
will she heed, or continue doing harm to her body? 
At forty two, she should think of a better existence!  


Let me tell you about the weird personality of Josephine:
she can't cook or make coffee...she only cleans and sings
while Hannessy make her face red and she begins to dance
whispering, " Hi, sweety...hand me some of that ovaltine!"


Mad, mad Josephine, don't seduce me with your flamboyant charm,
I couldn't  lie in bed with you, not even for a moment and whisper romantic words;
it would definetely kill any sexual desire even when the room is calm...
please go somewhere else, and find a boyfriend who won't close his eyes and arms.


Details | Lyric | |

The Stone

I think i might write a letter
to someone that i havent
talked to in a while
Ill lay it beside her stone
the stone i brought for her
when i was really young
Ill wait until she writes back
Falling asleep on the cold ground
Waking up in the fog


Details | Narrative | |

The Darkest - Blackest Tuesday (Part lll)

Now Children the pink and purple pails are for the girls, blue and green for the boys
We are going berry picking down by the stone wall Mr. Bethel said we could pick his berries 
too
The stone wall off limits to the Webb household, Bobby, Joe and Jim had the scars to prove it
Oh, “MOM“, (coil in fear, no crop) Thank-you What did Millie say; Are we going to make pies?
Ma’am didn’t know sign language, of course we will tell her she can wear the number 2 apron
Dotty, George, and I started running to the end of our property Slow down They’re 
excited “Mom”
I know Alice listen you older kids will be paired up with the younger ones: Alice, George and 
Harry
Virginia, William and Dorothy; Joe Jim and Robert; Rebecca you’re the best signer, You and 
Mildred
Alice, yes Harry why did Ma’am say we could call her “MOM” my voice shakes when I say 
Mom
 I think all of us feel that way; but make hay while the sun shines, What?  Just let her be 
MOM today
Pick them ,don’t eat them Wow, Al ,that’s what Becky just said to Millie look Millie said they’re 
so sweet
You can read that from over here Yep Millie and Becky have been teaching me. You know 
what this means
Easy: I Love you too Where is George? Over there George your not suppose to be on that 
side of the wall
It’s sprinkling , my pails almost full come on George let’s go back to “Mom” Alice go get the 
other children
This is the first time since I’ve been here that we were all together, laughing and talking 
while Mom smiled
As we got to the steps of the porch the sky opened sheets of rain a bolt of lighting , a sonic 
boom of thunder


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear God I Don't Want To Be DEPRESSED Anymore

My mind seems to be going
 "in every direction."
I often wander if I'm going
 through a depression.

The people I once loved...
 I love no more.
Life seems to be so "dry."
Rather "a bore."

My life seems to be 
"turned upside down"
There's no one to help.  
Nobody around.

Will you... God... listen 
to my call?
And accept me... 
Faults and all?

I know that you're listening
 to my desparate plea.
To love someone 
as lowly as me.

Thank you Lord for 
helping me along.
In your arms of mercy... 
 Is where I belong!

By Jim Pemberton
2007


Details | Blank verse | |

Don't be Upset

If I told you 
that I hated you,
you would cry,
and I hate it when you cry,
because then I cry too

So if I was hurt
because you were hurt
then maybe 
I don't really hate you.
Maybe I hate what you've become
and what you are becoming

As the days pass on by
you can see that your little girl
is becoming a woman
and it hurts to let go
you want to hold on tight

Sometimes so tight that she's gasping
for the world around her
she knows that it is just for her protection
but what would happen if she didn't experience things 
on her own

You may tell her what's wrong and what's right
but the truth is
when there's too much right being done
she turns to wrong for answers

so no matter how tight you hold on
she's still gonna learn on her own
and no matter how much you tell her you love her
she's still gonna tell you she hates you

because it's wrong.


Details | I do not know? | |

How Many

How many times will I be wrong before I am right?
How many of my days will be overcome by night?
How many of my sunny days be turned into rain?
How many pills would it take to stop my pain?
How may tears do I shed to bury my sorrow?
How many of my nights will have a tomorrow?
How many screams will it take for me to be heard?
How much longer will my future be blurred?
How many years will I cry over my mother?
How long will it take for me to trust another?


Details | I do not know? | |

Dark Light

 Sometimes I feel like falling,
 Or drowning in the rain,
Sometimes I feel like cutting,
To see her face again.
The Shadows of a darker mind,
Twist, confuse and lie,
I never did understand why she had to die,
I see her face in haunting dreams,
Or looking back at me,
She seems to root me to the ground,
When all I want is to flee.
Her morbid beauty chases me,
Like vulchers around meat,
Her stone cold ear upon my chest,
To cocxe my finel beat,
Amogst this all is one smart ray,
A dimond in the mist,
That hold me close to take away,
The razor at my wrist,
The dark and light confuse my brain,
There never ending war,
Mother I love you and always will,
But James I love you more. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Reason to Rejoice 11032011

REJOICE WITH ME BECAUSE I HAVE FOUND THE COIN I LOST LUKE 15:9

WHEN MY FRIEND CALLED to tell me the story of how she lost 
One of her expensive hearing aids
It sounded similar of the lost coin
Diane described how she had taken care of 5 or 6 errands in a day

During that time she placed her hearing aids in her pocket
When she returned home
One of them was missing
Diane hurried back to all places she had been

Retracting every step she searched for the precious item
Her voice held such amazed joy and gratitude 
As she related the moment of actually finding the tiny hearing aid
No wonder Jesus used a story of losing and finding something of value to describe the joy God has over “one sinner who repents

When I hesitate to let go of an old hurt 
Avoid repenting of my wrong doings
I hope the memory of my friend’s enthusiastic discovery
Will nudge me to give the Holy One another reason to rejoice

Readings and Gospel
Romans 14:7-12, Psalm 27:1
Psalm 4, 13-14, 
Luke 5:1-10


Details | Rhyme | |

Mountains Out of Molehills

What simple Truths cannot be seen,
Like Reason is both deaf and blind?
Made more complex than its easy theme,
To be pondered, yet, at another time
No resolutions, just chaos- confusion!
Arguments of wasted wind
Never to draw an equal conclusion,
But explain it over, and over again!

*Arguing with my mother


Details | Monorhyme | |

REBELLION AND LOYALTY

In the restless fifties, teens had to face many realities:
join the draft and go to war or rebel and bear absurdities,
the neutral ones stayed in college and avoided penalties;
oh for God's sake, why should any youngster fight enemies?
Hippies rebelled against the government and shouted obscenities;
they wanted to smoke pot, make love and have lots of babies.
When Motherland calls her soldiers, there are no certainties...
either you fight to survive, or you surely die without strategies.
All mothers cried as they departed to meet their destinies;
did anyone hear them whispering those rules to assure safeties? 
The young soldiers did, not discarding hopes and possibilities.
The Vietnam War was a long one, stretching into the seventies;
many didn't return, some did to enjoy serenities and liberties...
and proud they were to have served well, shunning insecurities.


Details | Free verse | |

The Mother Of His Son

How can a man love two
To make his life dim and blue?
And see them both as he sees one
To be the mother of his son.

One is a dream, the other is not
And in between there is a knot,
The torment of choosing one
To be the mother of his son.

And he fears them to be
Both illusory as he can’t see,
Then to remain left with none
To be the mother of his son.

Lost in a world of fame
Where changes turn out to be lame,
Where ages around him run and run
Missing the mother of his son.

Back from work, he is tired,
From that world, he got fired, 
He missed the right to have some fun,
With the mother of his son.

To travel the world within a room
Feeling everything around him bloom,
Up ahead has risen the sun,
Glory, the mother of his son.

Jessica Hanna
Dec. 06


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Mother

Mother shot father and I don’t see
How this came to be
Mother shot father and I can't hear
The sound of gunfire ringing in my ear

In my room I sit 
A cigarette in my hand, asking to be lit
Mother shot father and I don’t know why
I can't seem to find the tears to cry

Mother shot father
Bam bam bam
Mother shot father
Bam bam bam

A bullet straight to the head
And now daddy is dead
Two more shots, just to be sure
Its all a blur

Mother shot father 
And then mother shot mother 
Here I sit, in my room alone
The words in my head an endless drone

Mother shot father
Mother shot mother
If I shoot myself 
Will all the blame lie with mother?


Details | Rhyme | |

The Box

I don't know what to make,
Of this box you left for me. 
You said, it was Great Grandmas,
But as far as I can see,

The contents, belong to mom, 
The plates, her mother bought her.
I don't know why you ever took,
The gifts she gave her daughter.
 

I'm not sure, what I'm supposed to make, 
Of the wedding stuff, you tucked inside.
Are they supposed to be, little jabs, 
Because you were not apart of mine? 

Or the bowl that bears your name, 
Your mother gave to you, to keep.
I'm not sure why, you would include it 
Nor the reaction that you seek. 

I'm unsure of your intentions,
You've always had an aim.
It's hard to tell, if your sincere,
Or if this, is just another game.  


Details | Rhyme | |

Our Heavenly Father's Love


Our Father's Love... Many don't think about their heavenly father's love. And forget about his mercy, grace and love. That day when God's son was to die. His tender heart begin to bleed and cry. The wondrous love that God demonstrated. A plan of salvation has been orchestrated. Are you of the many who follow him? Where you can find an atonement for your sin. He patiently waits for you this very day. And loves you much more than words can say. This moment in time... With your heavenly father can be spent. Lay your every burden at his feet. And repent. Though your sins be as black as scarlet... They can be white as snow. His precious blood can wash you clean and make you whole! You will walk away from guilt and shame. The day you bow and call on Jesus' holy name! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Temptation

We only craved a toddy
something frosty in a glass
 
And then she came in sideways
all eyes were on the lass
 
We giggled from our corner
she put on quiet a show
 
She acted like she knew us
though how we didn't know
 
She waved and yelled a hello cheer
across the room she ran
 
She fell upon my sidekick
and grabbed her by the hand
 
" I disappointed Mama"
she whispered through the tears
 
I thought about my own Mom
now getting on in years
 
Her story wasn't new to us 
we had heard it all before
 
In fact sometimes was our tale too
a time or three or more
 
She said "God he brought me to you
can you help me find the way?"
 
"I've been straight a long long time
until I failed today."
 
We promised her that life is hard
and filled with lows and highs
 
Disappointment finds us each in turn
the bold.. the meek.. the wise..
 
We told the lass to raise her head
forgive herself and smile
 
Temptation lures us each at times
it surely can beguile
 
She begged us not to hate her
before we parted ways
 
I know my thoughts will dwell with her 
for days and weeks and days
 
We only craved a toddy
something frosty in a glass
 
And then she came in sideways
Heartbroken little lass....
 
 


Details | Rhyme | |

Is Your Life Running On EMPTY

Is your life running 
on empty fumes?
Are the adversities and stress
 of life being consumed?

Any zeal and passion for God
 may be in the past…
You wonder; “How long is life
 going to last???”

Perhaps you feel like your
 anchor’s “been lost at sea…”
And ask; “Lord…  
Why is this happening to me?”

Things in life often
 catch us “unaware…”
You may ask; “does anyone
 out there really care?”

There is someone who
 can help you along!
In Jesus’ arms of mercy
 is where you belong!

He walked this earth and 
calmed the sea of Galilee…
He’ll calm the storms
 of life for you and me!

Won’t you give him a chance... 
 To calm your fears?
And allow his love to
 wipe away any tears?

He’ll bring peace to a
 hopeless situation…
All you need to do… 
 Is to give him an invitation…

The choice is yours…  
It’s your decision to make!
Won’t you do it now?  Before it’s too late???

By Jim Pemberton  
01/18/10







Details | Bio | |

"To MOM"

I often sit and think about you-
Although, it's not something I want to do...

Someday I might get it through my head-
The fact that you left me abandoned & alone...

My babies, you took from me-
might as well have shot me.

I would rather have died.....

My heart broke, instead...


K.C. apr'03


Details | I do not know? | |

CAYLEE MARIE ANTHONY

Oh little one, for you I stand
Oh little one, your life I defend
A voice that can no longer be heard
Justice for you, I will not be deterred
All my waking hours and they have been long
I fight for a verdict, I must be strong
For at the end it is you that I see
Justice for a beautiful and precious Caylee

God has taken you home, here you were not deserved
Suffer no longer, for now judgment reserved
The punishment we seek here on earth was not meant to be
An unfocused jury has set your killer free
But I know that one day and hopefully soon
She will stand before God and his wrath she’ll consume

An angel you are and always will be
The Lord took your hand and set you free

Rest in peace Caylee Marie Anthony


Details | Free verse | |

Wounded

Lonely and alone, single now with the children my only comfort and yet a reminder.
The divorce a tug of war between me and her for what once was mine, I thought.
My heart lies languid and still a deep dark mountain pool, without flutter or ripples.
The waves and white water emotions will come flooding in after dark.
Our little ones must not glimpse in me the ugly cuts and scars of your infidelity. 
 I force myself into our once cramped now too empty bed.
 I can now cry quietly in solitude for love and affection like a wounded animal.
I silently scream to be touched, to be reached for, and to be desired.
I miss you I still love you I would forgive you I still want you, Joe where are you?
I hide in the shadows of my despair, dream of killing her, torturing painfully and slowly?
I’ll be gouging out her eyes with one degrading glare a smile and a snicker.
I’m gutting her slowly with only the nightly beckoning of my little finger.
A tryst in the Sykes parking lot in the back seat of our car inches from your son’s safety seat.
Pass a silent gift a potential killer and ruin her womanhood and child bearing potential, almost taking her life.
Rip apart her family with whispered AM phone calls and PM come hither stares.
Strip her self-esteem and ego depositing them without remorse in a blender set to puree.
I would do to her all that she has done to me and more, I am lonely, alone, single now and only them to thank.
  

                                                                 Summer Gratias


Details | Rhyme | |

Rape

You promised to respect me
and never decieve
you told me that you loved me
and i let myself believe
you invited me to the party
and at first i told you no
but then you said common
and insisted that i go
not thinking much about it
my second thoughts grew
but they were quickly lost
when i walked in after you
i knew something was wrong
when i kept falling on the floor
i wasnt really thirsty
but said to drink some more
and so i did
slowly handing you my fate
with absolutly no idea
that i would soon get raped
running into walls
as you led me up the stairs
the door up there had opeded
as people came out in pairs
i fell over laughing
everything started to spin
i continued to crawl
but i had i bad feeling within
as soon as i reached the top
you pushed me in the room
letting myself fall
as i slowly approached my doom
you threw me on the bed
with such force i never knew
i tried to scream for help 
but it was just us two 
i was just so scared
and there was no one else around
as you put your hand on my mouth
and said dont you make a sound
trying to push you off
wondering why you did me wrong
but every attempted failed
you were just too strong
i was squirming around and screaming for help
but it was already too late
with my useless crys and helpless sighs
i was getting raped


-Spencer Coggsdale     dedicated to Jose Galvan


Details | Crystalline | |

What We Want

What we want 
is never simple
we move among the things
we thought we wanted:
a face, a book, a small room
and these things bear our names 
now they want us
but what we want appears
in dreams wearing disguises
we fall past
holding out our arms 
and in the morning
our arms ache,
we don't remember the dreams
but the dreams remember us
it is there all day
under the table
as the stars are there 
even in the full sun.


Details | Rhyme | |

Are You Having An Affair

I don't think many people 
are aware...
of the dangers of having 
"an affair."

Adultery begins with a lustful thought 
captured in the mind.
It's been part of sins's curse,
 since the beginning of time.

Many aren't sure how they're
 going to react.
Until the day they're caught
 in an adulterous act.

By this time... they're love for
 their spouse is broken.
When the words; "I love you"...
 to another... are spoken.

Soon... their home become 
"turned around" and divided.
As their commitment and loyalty 
become undecided.

The family soon become "
one huge mess..."
As the love "for another person" 
becomes "obsessed."

You may find yourself in this 
kind of situation.
Perhaps you're in 
 "deep desparation."

Run from this person as 
fast as your can!
Come to the cross and 
reach for Jesus' hand!

Confess your sin to your spouse
 and call on Jesus' name.
You have only yourself... 
no one else... to blame.

Allow Jesus to 100% be 
the Lord of your life.
As you brings you together 
as husband and wife!

Let him restore your marriage 
and make it complete.
Come to him now and 
lay your sin at his feet.

His love in your marriage is 
forever and binding!
His commitment to you is 
a love worth finding!

By Jim Pemberton  
2009



Details | Rhyme | |

Let's Keep Marriage STRONG


Let’s Keep Marriage Strong! In marriages, we often fail to Be take time to communicate… To be honest with each other… Truthful and straight! In each other… We need to look for the BEST! And not treat each other like a “pest.” We don’t need to speak words that’ll cause harm… But to love each other with an opened arm! May we serve one another with compassion and love! Knowing we were brought together from God above! Just think about the first day you were wed… Remember the words; “I love you” were often said! We need to keep marriages together no matter the cost! Divorce leads to so much tragedy and a huge loss! By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

A poem to my son

My heart is filled with misery,
from that dreadful night.
I had to leave you standing there,
and walk right out of sight.
You were too young to understand,
why I left you there.
It was the best that I could do,
to show you that I cared.
If I was able to give to you,
all that you would need.
I wouldn't have left you standing there,
screaming out for me.
I was tired of your fathers ways,
and this your father knew.
He got a lawyer and a judge,
and took me away from you.
He made up lies and trashed my name,
and had me put in  jail.
For he knew that if I weren't there,
He wouldn't be able to fail.
So now I hope that you can see,
some of the hell that I went through.
But please believe me when I say,
I didn't abandon you.
I have been sitting back in silence,
waiting for this day.
The day the you turn 15 years old,
and get to have your say.
Today you are allowed to choose,
just where you want to live.
I am hoping you will take a chance,
and see what I have to give.
I still love you very much my son,
you've always had my heart.
I look forward to day when we,
will never be apart.


Details | Rhyme | |

We're Greatly Influenced By Society


We’re Greatly Influenced By Our Society We’re greatly influenced by our society. Our culture comes in many types of “varieties.” Often, there is a wicked and sinful force.. As people forget God, and look to another “source.” Too often, many in society have “confused” minds. Evil and perversion come in many different kinds We often read in the news just about every day. Something that another “confused” mind has to say. “Where did this person go wrong?” Is wondered. Another family or person is “torn and plundered.” “If my people humble themselves, and repent of their ways.” “I will heal their land!” This is what God says! Without God as the focus of our life’s attention. We’re sure to go “off course.” Into the wrong direction. “There is a way that seems right.” “But the end is death.” This is a truth of God’s word… Until your last breath! Jesus is the answer to any kind of difficult situation. We desperately need him all across our nation! Only he brings the love and fulfillment we need to obtain. We can find everything we need in HIS precious name! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rispetto | |

Visions Within

Visions Within 
(Rispetto)

Oh how the imagination is running
A vision of death keeps flashing in my head
As I sit quietly I see it coming
I know it’s a vision that all mothers dread

Yet over again it sure makes me wonder
Deep down within it pulls my heart asunder
At this point all I can do is truly pray
Trust His leading that it will all go away


Details | Rhyme | |

Are You Discouraged Feel Like Giving Up Without A Job


It was me that my
savior chose...
He’s supplied all my needs—
my food and clothes. 

He was there when I was
laid off from work.
Satan was saying, 
“you’re no good—just a jerk.” 

I admit; “my accomplishments—
I do not boast.”
But I do exalt the Father,
the Son and Holy Ghost. 

If not for God’s love,
I’d be dead, this I know.
This is the reason why
I love him so! 

He’s done so much for me—
it’s hard to express.
The privilege of being God’s son—
I am so blessed! 

I was a clay jar all broken apart,
But the potter put me together
from his heart. 

The glue he used was his
love for me,
That’s why I’m happy
and set free! 

This I know and hope
you’ll understand,
He’ll do the same for you—
just reach out your hand! 


By Jim Pemberton
2005


Details | Haiku | |

untitled

Art not given love        
                           attitudes ramsi retoarls  
 a mans dream seen


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

How Could You Do This To Me

How can you put your babygrl out for a man that'll never or always want be there 
for you
I'm the one that always been there for you, I'm the one that stayed by you'r side 
And still you want to tell me good bye 
How could you put your babygrl out not caring were she's at in the world
I wondered if you ever even cared 
I wonder why you pick him over me
How can you go to sleep every night not knowing were your child is 
How can you go to sleep next be side him ( to someone that don't even keep it 
real)
I did what I had to do, I was there when no one else was
When you where down if you ever needed someone to talk to I was you'r grl to be 
around
I love you CAROL, that man you picked over me will never always be around
and when he put you down, since I'm the better person I'll be there and still be 
around
I miss us talking to each other, I miss us being cool, playing together
It's like when you get a man you shut your kids out your life
All because the man sweet talk you into being his wife
I thought we were better than that
I never did anything that bad for you to hurt me
One day I hope you come to your senses and realize you need me more then 
anything in this world
No matter what you say or think you are not a real mama
But forever I'll always be your babygrl


Details | I do not know? | |

Want more

What more can i do?
I couldn't do it alone.
And now that im free from it all,
I still want more answers...


Details | I do not know? | |

Stress and Pain

One big happy said fairytale
Take the pain and no gain
Take the slights and not retribution
Take it all in without an out.

Exploding from the inside out
In silence, crying, hurting, writhing in pain and misery
Never knowing what it’s like to be just okay
Never knowing what it’s like to have love unconditional

Hated and revered 
Don’t show them the pain 
They don’t understand,
You are the one that is in wrong. 

Take it all 
Deal with it
Live with it
It’s your fault he’s like this

You carried him
You made him the way he is. 
Deal with the pain and suffering
Deal with the stress and the dirty looks

It’s always your fault 
No one else’s 
You should know that by now. 
Take you punishment and like it

God’s listening but this is his plan
Pain and suffering for those that screw up
No love for those that dare to be of a different mold. 
No salvation for the wicked souls of men

Shut it up 
Swallow it down
No one cares
No one’s around

No tears will make a difference
No whining will help the cause
No yelling will change people’s minds
No matter what you do you won’t be accepted


So….why try? 
Be yourself no one else
If they don’t like to hell with them
To hell with you and your self loathing


Details | Rhyme | |

What you are made up to be

foolish within that shows through the skin, you're hopeless but hoping for the worst for me. I don't care for you, and never will. You will see when you burn in hell, in the future near you'll see that I wasn't the one wrong, so don't try to be sincere. You think it's all about you, when the truth is no one wants anything to do with you. You've already over thought it all, and now you're all alone starring at the wall. I bet you realize now that the pain you feel you caused yourself. Within in all, comes the suffering of withdraw. All the pills that you've swallowed won't save your sorrow.


Details | Bio | |

Running Free

Clothes packed
Bag in the closet
Ready to go
Ready to run
I look at it daily
Not today, I think
Just get through the day
One day at a time

How did I get here
How did it get this far
I want to go 
Be on my own
just be me

The voices in my head
At a dull roar
I'm itching to see more
To drive away
To do everything
I want to do

What kind of person
Can I be
To give up what I am
Just to be me

To leave small and content
Rush head first
Into the large and longing
Running away from all this

I could give it all up
Leave everything
Just be me.


Details | Rhyme | |

Are We Being Driven to God's Elimination


Are We Being Driven to God’s Elimination? In the names of diversity and anti-discrimination. It’s like we’re being driven to God’s elimination! God is being “forced” from many institutions! All in the name of this country’s constitution! We’re told that God and this country must be “separated.” Anything less is what many would call; “discriminated.” Any forms of Godly virtues or values are “torn down.” Any symbol of a cross is often “removed from the town.” It’s no wonder that this country’s in such a big mess! And yet this country wants to be strong and blessed? “What shall the righteous do if the foundations are destroyed?” Meanwhile, the tide of ungodliness, is often “enjoyed.” Those who are trying to remove God! You must beware! His judgment is soon coming! And will catch you unaware! There’s will come a day! When God’s wrath you will endure! The wages of sin is death! This is very true and sure! People may think that removing God is the “thing to do.” Anyone who attempts to do will wind up as “a fool.” Only God can fill the void in life and true love within! Only God has the power to free your soul from sin! The words; “in God we trust,” in our lives must be applied! Everything we’ll ever need… God has supplied! God is this country’s hope! It’s only true foundation! We need HIM right now! To come and heal our nation! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Growing Years

Will you be here while they're little
to sooth their childish fears?

Here with Love and wisdom 
to enrich their growing years?

Can they come to you with Problems,
will you help them work it out?

Who will help me teach them
What life is all about?

Who will show the pride and joy
on their Graduation Day?

Who will bless her marriage
and give the bride away?

It seems that you have always Played
the most important part,

In all the Happy moments
I hold with-in my heart.

And Now I have three little ones 
to climb upon my knee.

They ask me very gravely,
"Where can our Daddy Be?"

I wish, sometimes, that you were here
to sooth their childish fears.

And use your Love and wisdom
To bless their growing years!

 


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Lord Please Cleanse My Mind

Im alone now... the family's 
gone to bed.
sinful thoughts have 
entered my head

I don't know which
 direction to turn.
My mind feels like a fire... 
"ready to burn."

"Jesus help me!" is 
my cry and prayer.
I know you listen and 
you care!.

I don't want to think on thoughts
which trap and allure.
But to memorize God's word--
so holy and pure!

God's word is a light unto my feet...
 a lamp unto my path.
By HIS word directing me--
I'll avoid God's wrath!

Thank you Lord for being patient, 
loving and kind.
And thanks for giving me more
 of a Christ-like mind.

Your loving kindness has 
now filled my soul.
And by your word... my mind's 
been made whole! 

By Jim Pemberton
2007


Details | I do not know? | |

Where Have You Been

You're standing there, but i don't see you
You're kissing me, but i don't feel your passion
You're hugging me, but i can't feel your warmth
You're whispering in my ear, but i can't hear you
You say you've been loving me, but where is the love
Where have you been?
All this time I've been burning you never stop to pure cold water on me
All this time that I've been earning you never stop to share with me
Now i see, at least i think so
Tell me something i need to know
Tell me that your there for me 
Show me what i need to see
Break the brick wall that covers my face
Climb over obstacles like it's a race
Teach me, feed me, love me once again
Be my Mother not my friend


Details | Quatrain | |

What effects of Anger in our soul

Anger begets in our souls impatience
Hatred
Irreverence
And too often habit of cursing


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

"Your Unforgiven"

It's been five long years,
Although it seems a thousand lifetimes ago...
It marked the beginning of fresh new fears for me-
The day my mother became my foe...

I would'nt believe it could happen.
The thought never crossed my mind.
It never once occured to me-
That my mother would leave me behind...

Up until that exact moment-
Right up till the very end;
The end only marking the beginning-
I believed my mother was also my friend...

And being her only child-
I thought she'd always have my back.
But an unconditional love for me
was something she greatly "LACKED".

To be all alone in the world,
Is obviosly something she's never felt.
As I still struggle to keep from drowning-
I'm still willing my heart not to melt...

It melts at the thought of her calling my name...
It melts when I still try to breathe...
It melts when I hope to wake-up & discover,
                                    that mommie never left me-
                                                    It's just a "bad dream"...

The days go by,
Though time hasn't stopped...
And I'm living this "Real to Life Nightmare"
In a big ugly world, that hasn't been POPPED...

Someday I hope it gets easier,
'Cuz I must have been a real "LET DOWN"....
Or maybe I'll just get DIZZIER-
As this world keeps spinning me around...

I was a bad choice, I guess;
One of many she's talked of making...
So why GOD thought it neccessary to take my ANGELS,
Will always be a mystery...
Why was I FORSAKEN?...

I hope they make-up for my being all WRONG...
But when she took my "last reason for breathing"-
Didn't HE hear my heart break?
Couldn't he feel me BLEEDING?

Yes, it was a very long time ago.
That sad day mommie wished me away...
You'd think in five years I'd be over it-
It's been "One-Thousand Eight-Hundred and Twenty-five days,
Since the second I BLINKED and became an orphan,
No longer thier MOMMIE-Alone with no family-
A SINGLE LINK...

Guess I'll think twice before blinking again-
Because it confirmed all suspicion of being my
                                "MOMMIES GREATEST SIN".

I'm sorry, Mommie, I disappointed you so-
I hope my babies make you proud, even after they grow...

I didn't mean to bring you down-
You should've been proud of the 'Only Child' you were given-
The same little girl that made you frown...
                                Just Me............
                                  Your Unforgiven.


KC 1/18/05


Details | Free verse | |

Absolution

I let the pussy go today; he scratched me to get away
I told him to take the tool with him
Because it would prick me instead of helping me
I took the arrows out of my back
There are bits of stone left behind from the arrowheads
But I don’t feel them anymore
I took my four small bottles of Holy Water
And gave them to people who respect me
Then I went to the ocean
I took my heart shaped shell
It was broken in two
I stepped into the waves and let the waters cover my feet
Slowly I opened my hand
And let the pieces fall into the water
I watched them for a long time as they tumbled to and fro in the waves
This was the hardest to let go of
I knelt in the water and pondered how the shell moved toward me
And then away from me with the tide
Some people believe all life came from the sea
But I know this letting go is best for me
And as I get up and turn my back on the ocean
I walk slowly but with a confident stride
Not looking back
Not ever looking back 
Forgiveness has been given
My footsteps in the sand will disappear over time
Like I already have
And that’s alright
The boulder has been lifted off my chest
And I look straight ahead, walk through the sand
Up the steps, along the fence
And into my future


Details | Rhyme | |

Secret, My Secret

Secret, my secret,
I've kept you so long.
But secret, my secret,
it's been so wrong.

Farther and farther,
they try to hold on,
but I'm gone.
Lost in this web of lies,
my secret, my own demise.

I want to tell you mama,
I really do.
So I will.
Mama, I like boys but girls too,
I'm bisexual mama.
Secret, my secret,
it ain't no more.


Details | Free verse | |

Silence

After millions of seconds,
every second seeming,
much longer than the other.
All we wanted was good news, 
all we wanted was you...

 A night with little excitement 
only listening to the music, 
and watching stars make lame jokes,
 my sister and I heard a ring,
only faint cause the phone was outside.

Praying that everything was all right
we only wanted you safe,
we hear a sob from my mom.
As the moment my life fell apart
the good news never came.
 
You ran,
you jumped,
you swam, 
you quit.
Why?
I don't understand.

We still haven't stopped asking questions,
Why you? Why us? Why then?
Those questions will never be answered.
It's been almost five years
Why?!

When you left you took a part of us with you,
My mom says hello, 
Can you say hello to Ashley for me? 
I hope you take her camping, and watch the stars at in the sky.
I hope everything's alright.

I know your dad came to join you,
Does it make you happy when people join you,
maybe that's what was going through my sisters mind,
maybe we all miss you more than you'd expect

Ever since you've been gone,
there has been a silence,
never questioned cause we don't want to face the truth
I wonder if you had more time if you wouldn't have done it,
do you regret it, or do you like the silence in the clouds.

We will never understand why you ran.
Life hasn't been the same since,
it's gone done hill from there,
you will always be in my thoughts.


Details | Rhyme | |

Are YOU Having An Affair

God Gave Me His Love...  I Wouldn’t Share It!

God gave me his love.  I wouldn’t share it!
The guilt I feel now. 
I can’t hardly bear it!

He gave to me blessings and a peace within.
He gave to me joy and a chance to be his friend!

He asked that I give to others what I received.
His life for others is what he’s achieved!

When God needed me, I tried to run and hide.
I was filled with selfishness and pride!

Though I had accepted him 
and was born again…
I wasn’t interested in 
reaching souls for HIM!

Deep inside me there was a voice
 that began to stir!
Christ helped me to have
  Victory so true and secure!

He helped me with his words of love spoken…
I wanted to be his vessel! Not just a “token.”

His spirit is with me each day that I live!
I want others to know of his power to forgive!

Won’t you share the love that he’s given to you?
Won’t you give back to the one
 who truly LOVES YOU?

His love is everlasting and hard to contain!
You’ll find all that you need 
when you call on his name!

By Jim Pemberton    05/04/12


Details | Verse | |

The Daughter

Today I lived my life with ghosts
Both living and dead
Your face, their face
Slipped through my fingers and fell to the floor
Hundreds of pictures of you and them
Hundreds of moments and moments and moments
Too numerous and caught in that web of time
Dangled on a cobweb so thin, so fine
It could break but does not snap
And lasts and lasts
And holds and holds
All there, suspended in that instant
Before falling to the floor,
Or in the box of memories. To be kept.

So where do you reside, in the bin or the box?
Where do you live for future’s worth?
Will you be cut adrift or salvaged in those stepping stones to the past.

And yet, she still picked up those photos of you 
Pained and dulled
Still confused and stabbed by what has happened over time.
She saw your face and paused. Reflected.
She then gently collected up those images of you and me
And saved them in the box
One day for all to see in times to come.
She decided not to put you in the bin.
Unlike me.

She rescued her childhood.
Put down a marker in the sand
And said stop to the sea
To the waves and waves
That break over time and pain
Saved you from the blankless pile of Venice and Florence
And Christmas and beaches and Barbies and laughter
And with a simple dignity 
She gave you back some worth.




Details | Fibonacci | |

The Babies Don't Cry

Cry
Once
Then none
Flint River
Thrown from bridge two small
Babies sister brother drowned
Every time go by I hear the children cry call me
Mother experienced temporary insanity threw them from bridge to swift water


Details | Rhyme | |

WANDERING Eyes

Wandering Eyes... 


Have you been captured by 
the wandering of your eyes? 
Things you once held as true and 
wholesome-- you now despise. 

Have you been “captured” 
by an outward beauty? 
Thereby neglecting your 
God-given duty? 

Has your soul been consumed with 
sin's all-consuming fire? 
With an uncontrollable appetitie 
and an ungodly desire. 

In your heart, is the Holy Spirit 
an uninvited guest? 
No wonder your life is in 
such a huge mess! 

Your head is filled with fantasies 
and temptations of every kind. 
You pretend on the outside. But you've 
lost control of your mind. 

For your failures—you have 
only yourself to blame. 
Now's the time to repent— 
and call on Jesus' name! 

Though your sins be red as scarlet-- 
they can be washed as white as snow. 
Only Jesus can be true peace and 
satisfaction to your troubled soul. 

By Jim Pemberton 
2008 




Details | Rhyme | |

wish I Could Say

What if I can’t find the words?
It’s so silly as to be absurd
The thing I find so hard to do
Is to simply say I LOVE YOU

Why is it that we’re always fighting?
When all the wrongs we should be righting
Lying, cheating, I was bad
Did I do these things I must be mad

I never meant to hurt anyone at all
Least of all you but the trouble did fall
Into you’re lap on your doorstep
It appears it’s you I always upset

I’m not always selfish and careless you know
You aught for you did watch me grow
I just wish for once I could hear myself say
I LOVE YOU MUM in a million ways


Details | Free verse | |

collaberation vs compulation

ok, mom's right, it's "collaborate and copulate"
that's what I meant to say

i am the mom and when i say
it is right it is and
it is weird and i could
be wrong.

ok. we agreed, we only get 2 lines
and you have taken 4 lines
(and I can't even be poetic, cuz you done took my lines)

i was just trying to save paper
for green for the environment
i was helping you.

Helping me?
Helping me what?
ok, I'm usin more lines
You ain't green! You ain't even fair!!!!!!!

WELL, I AM A protester and i
has a been sitting in trees
a lot,  baby sister you better
be nice to your ole ma.

Ok, for 1, you ain't no damn protestor
And you ain't in no trees
and we is hooked on phonics
but we profound
for instance, I done found my lighter

see, i was honest for you and i hired
a surrogate tree hugger so i could
be with you baby sister. duh

Mother, when will you EVER learn to use CAPS?
I know you are honest, and silly, cute, lovable
and you smell good.
But you still broke the 2 line rule AND
if you break the rules, I break them better.... love kim

well,we won't worry about this anymore.
go take a bath...love mom.

P.S. Didn't even get to talk about the copulating and all.... Damn.......


Written by a Mom and Daughter just being foolish cuz we love each other


Details | Bio | |

These 4 walls

These 4 walls, 
This sacred home, 
Once full of joy, 
Echoes sweet bitterness
of times gone by.
The paranoid confusion,
The mad mistrust
Lock everything up.
Nothing is secret,
My life is mine, 
But still she rips through it, 
Questions that shouldn't be answered,
That shouldn't be asked, 
Where did she go?
A once loving person,
Now only a shadow in the dark,
Sometimes peeping through the curtains,
Trusting not even those who are blood,
Throwing road blocks on the ground,
Don't ever leave,
Never move on in life, 
I will destroy what I have to,
Even if it means losing the ones I love,
she whispers
How can anyone break free?
Where do you turn to?
A baby cries but she doesn't answer, 
That’s not mine, 
She hisses, 
I have done all I can. 
Everyone is out to get me, 
Do you not see?
The walls grow taller, 
Two steps back, 
But how many more to take?
This wasn't meant to happen; 
It should be a happy home!!!!


Details | Bio | |

In Law

Eating disorders and drugs,
Alcohol and pain.
You are indifferent
As I go insane.
You watch me like a hawk
In case I do wrong.
You just know in your heart
That I'll mess up before long.
You're life is so perfect,
You'll never understand.
You calmly watch me fall
Without offering your hand.


Details | Free verse | |

Information Gap

How do I bridge this information gap?
a gap of time
to break it down
so you can understand
what's going on.
You're so young.
Harm, I don't intend.
Love, I try to instill.
To give you something
to grasp on to.
I know it's hard for you.
Something new, so fresh.
How can I make you see.
I still love you.
I am still and
always will be
your Mom.


Details | Rhyme | |

Are Things In Your Life Out Of Place

Are Things In Life "Out Of Place?"

I visited a garage sale.  And had a 
surprised look on my face.
I noticed that some things
 were "out of place."

To my right... Was a shelf filled with books.. 
And Christian ones too.
To my left...  Was a sign that read; 
"I have adult movies for you."

I wondered and thought with 
some kind of amazement.
"Does this person read these books. 
 And watch this "entertainment?"

This is common in many Christian homes...
Often...  People cross God's 
"boundaries" and "safety zones."

Anyone can go to church. 
 Pray, sing and "shed a tear."
Not realizing that sin's temptation
 is drawing ever so near.

Do you seek God's holiness and the 
power of Jesus' name?
But each night...  Before bedtime... 
 Things aren't quite the same...

Have you opened up your heart 
and mind...  And live life unfulfilled?
Is this the way you ought to live? 
 Is this what God has willed?

He desires to live inside of you.
  And help you to discover.
With any stronghold in life.  
He'll help you to recover!

Are things in life "out of place?"  
And need to be put back together?
Allow God's word to guide you!  
His promises are forever!

Everything will be where it should be...  
With Jesus In control!
Only he can defeat the enemy that 
seeks to destroy your soul!

By Jim Pemberton 08/03/09


Details | I do not know? | |

Belong

 When I was young all I wanted was to belong.
Why as life goes on I  that's still 
What i'm going through?
All I wanted was your love
Something I know now I'll never recieve.
 What it is to be me?
  Life lessons worlds apart and the thought of you still tears at my heart.
How is it I came from you?
The question I ask myself every time.
Look at the grandma across the room ...
Holding her own womb with joy?
As the babe grows the grandma never goes away.
My life will never see that.
 As look at you I grew in you..
I help and I'm the one you turn away.
I thought I forgave you yesterday?
Never will I forget the pain and the constant need to belong.
Not from the world but you mom.
 To feel your magic like a rainbow that fades with time ....
Why , do you fade?
Should I be happy for you as you disappear as fast as magician...
Only, poking your head through when  you see the need.
You do that to your own seed.
As I look at the mirror to see your face in mine.
I turn away and a tear falls down my face.
To deny you I would deny me.
I'll never be what you want me to be.
I'm me                                                                                By Amber Gilmore



Details | Rhyme | |

Your Lies

This ache in my heart
The pain that I feel
It tears me apart
I don’t think I’ll heal.

The lies that you tell
Sure hurt to the core
It won’t help to yell
Just walk out the door.

This game that you play
You think you have won
No words can you say
For you fool no one.

If this is the road
Through life that you choose
For you have been told
Stay away from booze.

The money you’ve spent
That should have been saved
We’ve given and lent
Your bills we have paid.

The oath that you took
So special and true
The hands that you shook
Mean nothing to you.

“He’s smart and He’s bright”
From people I heard
“He’ll go far in life”
If you kept your word.

You know right from wrong
Yet go with the pack
You follow along
You don’t turn your back.

“I’m sorry” you say
Each time you are caught
This isn’t the way
That you have been taught.

You’re out on your own
Some days can be tough
You lie on the phone
And I’ve had enough.

You say you love me
You look in my eyes
Although I can see
Right through all your lies.

This path that you’re on
Will hurt in the end
You’ve become this con
My heart will not mend.

The choice you must make
Be honest not lie
The right path to take
Or just say good bye.

We have always said
Beside you we’d stay
Choose to lie instead
We’ll just walk away.

Your future you hold
Which path you will choose
For you have been told
You’ve a lot to lose.


Details | I do not know? | |

Undefined

Starting from scratch has never felt so Good
I’ve been from the Burbs and now my life’s the Hood
Blessed needless to say- this journey has been one for the Record
I’ve been pushed/ pulled/ torn but not Broken
Im taking lifes trials and tribulations as a Golden Token
I’ll allow the things I go through in life to make me Better
If that means I have to go through the storm to get to pleasant Weather
I’ve learned to let go which is the hardest thing I’ve had to Do
But I owe my life to God,  not the family or even to You
I am a woman with newly discovered Worth
This journey I’ve taken has been filled with so much Hope
The light of Life is now burning so Bright
Took a lifetime of trials for me to get it Right
Now I have God on my side and my Strength is Greater


Details | I do not know? | |

broken promises

every day a promise was made but never to be kept,you've been told why my heart is filled 
with pain because of promises made and never kept, but it still happend everyday yet. I wish 
I knew why you said things you didn't mean but it seems as if thats a subject failed never to 
be aced. You say you don't know why I hold a grudge, maybe after you read this poem, I'tll 
be a lesson learned. Don't take me wrong I love you without a doubt, for you are my mom 
you are my blood, but loving you doesn't mean I have to like you or the way you do things, 
because like and love are two totally different things.


Details | I do not know? | |

Unanswered Questions From A Daughters Heart

I tried telling you 
But you didn't see me or did you? 
Did you pretend I wasn't there? 
Are you pretending now to care? 
Can you really see my pain? 
Do you know why I stay? 
If my feelings aren't true 
Why must I keep holding  on to you? 
When I hurt do you go numb? 
Are these questions I ask dumb? 
Why must I crave for you love? 
It's as if its more powerful then things above 
I see you but you don't see me 
Can you tell me could this really be? 
I needed you and you weren't there 
I grew up leaving in fear 
Fearing that I might be hurt again 
Cause I been hurt most of my life by family & friends 
People that I thought were true 
Yeah mom you know your one of them  to
Thats OK because I will always continue to love and cherish you. 


Details | Name | |

Over The Phone

She was so terrified,
A phone was continued ringing,
She didn’t dare to pick the receiver,
She ignored the ringing and went to bed.

He had a break down,
When he checked his pockets,
He was strange to know,
He forgot his ballet at home.

Early in the morning,
Someone knocked at the door.
She removed a curtain and looked outside,
Everywhere snow was covered.

She opened the door 
And let police to come in.
Your son last night, 
Stocked in a snow storm,

We tried to give him a first aid,
But terribly found, he was dead,
We recovered his body; 
You can look at him.

She was weeping bitterly,
And crying for his husband,
If you don’t terrified me,
I never thought you are over the phone.



Details | I do not know? | |

Hi

Hi mom
Hi dad
It’s been a year now
I love you
Where did you go?
You haven’t written back
I am gonna to tell ya that I am 6 years old now
My Grammy tells me that you are in a safe place
Where is that safe place, I want to go
Why haven’t you written back?
Oh daddy, I rode my bike, I fell, but it felt like you were there to tell me to be 
strong, get back on
Mommy, I touch a burner today, I called for you. You never came
I sat in the rocker in my room, and watched for you
You never showed
How come?
Don’t you love me?
Am I really not that important to ya?
Why didn’t you take me with ya?
How long shall I wait?
I cry every night, for ya guys
I watch my friends with their mommy, and daddy
But don’t worry for me
I will be the best person, to show you that I really was worth it
I love you
I pray for ya guys every night
This is the best I can do
So I will wait for your letter


Details | Free verse | |

Farewell Black Rose

 
Bloom in the brightest of times, 
Passionate black rose 
Blend with the splendid aroma…it’s a wish
I grant to you, exquisite black rose 
For you are my mother—withering away
Into the eerie night... you sway 
 
Gloom caresses you in the darkest of time,
Gorgeous black rose 
Mend the atmosphere overwhelmed with anguish 
When your heart gave way, beautiful black rose 
For you are my mother—driven away
Into the perilous sea… you say:

“Farewell, son/daughter of mine…Someday you’ll shine!”

Those last words will always be 
A broken record forever in my drenched heart  
Those last words led me in this debris
That forever took you away into the death’s cart! 

Farewell...Farewell...Farewell!
Beautiful black rose...I don't want to see you wither away!
Farewell...Farewell...Farewell!
Beautiful black rose...mother...rest in peace 'till the day
You bloom in the glorious times

Rest in peace, farewell
Black rose.


Details | Free verse | |

I will follow you into the dark

"I wish you would just unclench your fists and let go of all your pain and hurt.
It doesn't help to keep it bottled up inside.
I can see it...
Eating away at you
Eating you from the inside
The pain and worry is sucking you dry.
Its taking everything into its black hole 
All that you have left is anger and worry
And pain
Your worriying is taking up all of your energy. 
'Stop it.
Stop yelling at me
You are hurting me 
I love you and I want you better.'
'Can't you see Christan?'"

"I wish that you would just leave me alone.
Let me wallow in my pain.
Let me sit here in the dark
You are so quick to help
When you are part of the problem
You make me angry
You make me mother you
I take care of you and watch over you 
I do everything for you mother.
Why can't you just let me go?"

"I can't" she said, facing the empty black hole where I was slanding.
"I will follow you into the dark"

She said as she stepped across the threshold of my mind
Entering this strange place
My dark bitter heart echoing around her.
"I will follow you into the dark." she said.


Details | Bio | |

Soulful Lies

Hiding my eyes, striving to see.
Hope they don't look at me.
This narrow life I lead,
Strange scenes in my head,
The need to camoflage.

What one does because it's right.
I'm a coward who refuses to fight.
One who hides from within,
Never to escape this life of sin.

How can I say it's okay,
When I live another way.
Those who do, I admire.
I will continue walking the wire.

It's strange how one can deny,
What is bent in their life.
I don't want to lie.
How I yearn to drive,
To top, the world.

They said I would be good.
The wild and crazy experiment,
I never could.

Fear held me back,
The small town way.
What would they think.
What would they say.
If I had.

My sprouts, times three,
I could never, tilt the world.
They will not know the bend in me.
So I wait.
Wait for the happy ever after to end.


Details | Rhyme | |

Mom's COLD, DEAD, STARE

How come she doesn't love me?
How come she will not care?
Why does she only look at me
with that COLD, DEAD, STARE?
I know she says she's sorry
for all the pain I've had.
Then, why won't she break this cycle
and show me life's not so bad?
She thinks it's just too late now.
I know I'm already grown.
But I could use her friendship
while I raise kids of my own.
A mom to tell my thoughts to.
A mom to share my fears.
Just someone to care for me 
as I grow thoughout the years.
It's over now, I've begged her
to love me and to care.
But all I ever get from her
is that COLD, DEAD, STARE.


Details | Rhyme | |

Someone Asked Me About Marriage

Someone Asked Me About Marriage…

Someone asked me about marriage, as a matter of fact…
I thought; “what kind of questions is that?”

“Let me ask a questions…  If I may?”
“Do you read what the God’s word has to say?”

Marriage is still and will always be one woman and man.
I don’t care how many laws we have in our land!

No matter if many churches and people claim; “civil rights.”
Anything different than a man and woman is NOT right!”

The first chapter of Romans makes it pretty clear…
The days of wickedness have drawn ever near!

God’s wrath revealed against all ungodly living!
Think about the garbage our country is giving!

It speaks of men and women leaving their natural affection.
Burning in lust toward one another
 with an ungodly attention!

For this cause God has given many over to a reprobate mind…
Many get involved with perversions of many kinds!

Professing themselves to be wise, many have become “fools.”
By not obeying God’s word… But their own “set of rules.”

Marriage is something designed many years ago.
It was Adam and Eve in the beginning…  This we know!

My question to you is: “Why not give God a chance?”
His truth remains the same!  Whatever the circumstance!

No court of law can change what God has established!
Everything that’s not of God is simply a lot of “rubbish.”

Jesus is coming back for a bride without “a wrinkle or a spot.”
It’s time we come clean and become
 “blood bought!”

Being the bride of Christ is the most important thing!
He is the bridegroom and eternal love he brings!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

White Rabbit

Quick, we'll be late!

Then again. she shan't notice.

Her eyes are heavy, always.

Induced by magic.

They call it medicine.


She would be angry though!

Only on them days, when he's away.

When we won't hear the groans

moans, grunts. 

She remembers though.


She's so sad now! 

She always was, it's him.

She's submissive, timid, shy.

Afraid. They'll take her away.

We can't visit. 


We must rescue her! 

From her sleep? No.

'for what dreams may come

when we shuffle of this mortal coil.'

There is only one way.


You find the bleach!

It is effective in removing.

Ridding us of the evidence.

But not of the past, not of the blood.

May she rest in peace. 


Details | I do not know? | |

THE GOLDEN YEARS

                   The world has heard of the golden years
                            Is it a myth or a phrase
                   When do they begin,when do they end
                    When you are young you can run the race
                    But when you're old you can't wash your face
                     Your bones ache in pain at night
                      Your joints are rusty ,and you lose your sight
                     When they tell you about the pot of gold
                      At the end of a rainbow,you can't hear
                                 Must be the golden years.          


Details | I do not know? | |

Waiting

The simple agony
of waiting for the storm
to rain on my head,
some one help,
I can't wait any longer,
I can already hear the thunder rumble,
in the distance,
but yet epproaching.


Details | Free verse | |

This is a Dedication to my Father

A father that who was never there that I cried lonely tears of missing a man that 
didn’t even want me that a man threw me on streets in the rain or a shadow and 
left me that he didn’t even know me or understand me born into a world full of 
confusion pain and lonely tears wonder why a man that I wanted to be like so 
much didn’t even want me that it seemed like everybody had a father around me 
except me that my mother was trying so hard to be that father figure that the 
words she was speaking wouldn’t even come to me that I was in streets hustle 
looking for a father figure to but life in me that the person that I really love went to 
the pearly gates and left me 

Because on my block most of the boys didn’t have a father and they father didn’t 
have a father so they on the block hustling rocks selling them to there own 
mother  that the street life was the only life for me that my mother cried lonely 
nights wonder if I am going to walk threw the door that night or scared she might 
see me on channel ten news that night  I wonder night after night what did I do 
blaming myself for things that my mother went threw crying myself to sleep 
asking god to just pray for me never understood why a man said he loved but 
never was there that man would call me and say I am going to pick you up and 
never show up

That my friends never had a father so they slapped there females around and 
beat them for no reason but they had reason why because they never had that 
father to show them how to love there female and not beat on them that growing 
up seeing your mother beening slapped around knowing you cant do nothing 
about it thats a struggle 


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Divine Intervention

Beautiful little girl
Devastatingly beautiful
The birds would start chirping when she walked past
Her mother’s daughter they all said
A mirror image
 
And suddenly she was shocked by love
5 years old being undressed like a doll
Caressed and bathed so lovingly
Such gentle touches
That no one suspected
 
Mother found a new piece to her heart
Wedding bells chimed
And a new father was born
5 years old she was…just 5
 
This beautiful little girl found love in her “new” father’s arms
He held her close, sometimes too close
But no one suspected
She didn’t know this love was pain wearing a mask
She learned that love was…
Shielded from the eyes of her mother
Night visits to her room from her father
Year after year
For 15 years this was the love she knew
 
She felt invaded, alone and abused
She told her mother
About her new father…the man her mother loved
She didn’t acknowledge, wouldn’t bring herself to see
What the water so clearly replayed in her view
The mother knew, just knew
That her husband would, couldn’t ever
Never…bring pain to his daughter, never
 
Little girl, what does it feel like to be loved?
It feels warm, and wrong but gentle
Strong hands unclothing you
Caressing your body as if you are a grown woman
With a glorified body to worshipped and pillaged over
Little girl, what does pain feel like?
Closed doors…darkness…my father…naked
Hopeless
 
Beautiful little girl
Devastatingly beautiful
Pain paraded as love
Molestation masked for discipline
When your daughter cries out
When she cowers in corners
And doesn’t trust the dark
When she says love is just another word
Just another synonym to let him abuse her
Trust what she has to say…
 
I was that beautiful little girl and now I am a woman plagued with fears
Some nightmares you cannot outrun
And some memories only God can wipe away
The blood of all my pain is on my mother’s hands
"I forgive you"
Beautiful they say…
It’s a mask for something more


Details | ABC | |

About Mom and Dad

Sometimes I began to forget how life use to be,
and have to go through the box that holds  our memories,
Memories of when you and mom didn't fight,
and all of us lived under one roof,
when there wasn't two of every holiday,
and step moms or step dads,
Even though I was young I still remember the day you left,
and mom didn't cry cause she knew it was coming,
I can't help but to think of how things could have been different,
and how it would feel to still love you dad...



My life with my mom and dad was never good nor was my life cause
I am now a single mother of two girls and my oldest is Austin but it's lies bumps I 
over come and the only way  i can deal with life and everything is to wrote 
poems....So thank you all for enjoy reading my poems


Details | Free verse | |

I hear the world is going to end is it true?

I hear the world is going to end is it true?
Earthquakes, poverty, and wars are going to govern the world
Is it already happening?
Throw and burn all lucrative materialistic goals and put God in first place
Will he really bless me?
If I start to  adore you 
Will I be doing it the right way?
Oh lord oh lord my grandmother heard these very same words
And to you she gave her soul 
Still, the world hasn’t ended yet
Then when will it come?
I hear the world is going end is it true?


Details | Free verse | |

Can't Pretend Forever

I can't pretend forever;
cuz forever makes me cry.
To remind myself of the reality...
too many days have passed us by.
Please my God be forgiving.
You've been in every prayer...
Foolish I have been,
still yet-
this is an attempt to show I care!
How can I stop to think of you?
Or wonder on your behalf?
Pray God gave you what I asked of him
But who's to prove he has?
It's been seven months of this 
lonely hell.
Seven months since you've went away.
My hopes and dreams 
are still just that-
Guess they're only meant to stay.
Mother what have I done? Again?
Was this life meant for me?
What happened to the little girl
who held onto our family tree?
I'm not even sure anymore
of what "family" is!
If blood really is thicker than water...
Cuz I have no family!
I have no friends!
Yeah!  I wrote that-
Cuz it's how I feel!
But I know deep inside (not true).
I'm done with feeling like a living dead girl,
I want my Mother back!
I Miss You!
Is that okay?
Because I do!
So before I go off into the deep end...
I had to send what's left of my love to you.
Damn!  Everytime!
Can't write a letter no more!  Cuz I can't write to you without
tears falling to the floor!
Because you were right and I knew
Six months ago too.
So I hate myself for doing
what I already knew I would do.
And just as every battle,
I knew I would always lose.
I have yet to back down
Regardless of what may
Permanentally bruise.
But I can't go on anymore
With acting out this realm.
Cuz thats just it-
it's all pretend
People only see
what I let them see.


Details | Lyric | |

Dear Stranger

You ruined my life
I no longer have a mom
I no longer have two parents
I no longer have a friend for life
I no longer have someone to look up to 
You don't realize all the damage you caused
We lost the house,
I lost the only friends I had,
Your son doesn't even know you,
I've never seen dad cry so much,
I saw my entire family fall apart,
All because of you
You lied and stole from all of us
After all these years of pain, 
I thought you would learn
But I guess I was wrong
And now you try to come back in our lives
After all the pain you caused
After all the tears we cried
You expect us to forget what you did?
Just act like everything is fine?
I can't ever forgive you
And I can't just pretend my life's okay
I no longer have someone to look up to
I no longer have a friend for life
I no longer have two parents
I no longer have a mom
You ruined my life
And I hope you never forget that
Because I never will.


Details | Rhyme | |

Mama

Can you see this pain of mine? 
Buried deep down inside. 
Do you know why it's there? 
Because you never ever care. 
I feel alone. 
Like a puppy lost it's bone. 
I can't find you anywhere. 
Are you sure your really there? 
Am I just a joke? 
A girl to pinch and poke? 
Your the reason for these marks! 
Cutting dawn til' dark. 
My brain has frozen. 
Why have I been choosen? 
Mother you lie! 
You said I'd never die! 
Mama, it wasn't murder and I'm not homicidal. 
Mama, this was intentional because I am suicidal.


Details | Free verse | |

I HAD NO PLACE TO REST MY HEAD PART 2

I was 10 years old when she prayed with me, 
that's when she gave herself to Jesus you see.

I remember her kneeling right next to my bed 
after she prayed she would kiss my forehead.

Mom was like an angel always by my side, 
we would sing and laugh as the days went by.

She loved the Lord with all of her heart and soul, 
I had no doubt in mind where she would go.

Mother watched evangelists over the years, 
she learned about Jesus it brought her to tears.

She watched Oral Roberts, Robert Schuller and Billy Graham.
I'm sure there were others that touched her heart, 
God knew what he was doing what an excellent start.

Then all of a sudden I started to cry, 
I remembered how I felt the day she died.

Four days of labor, four days of tears 
it caught me off guard when I heard what 
appeared....

The same morning I gave birth to my child,
someone had called to say, "Your mother has died".

I didn't want to remember, I didn't want to think, 
my heart was torn open, I couldn‘t breath.

The pain that I felt on that very day, 
I didn't believe would ever go away.

I had so many questions along with my tears, 
so many things inside me for years.


Details | Free verse | |

I HAD NO PLACE TO REST MY HEAD PART 1

Days, months and years had gone by, 
I could never understand the reasons why,

I could never focus, 
I could never see, 
I could never rest my head so easily.

There were many fears I had, 
I stop feeling so sad.

Oh how my tears would over flow, 
scared and lonely never wanting anyone to know.

Not my husband, nor my family or friends,
I wanted to be the strong one for them to depend.

I didn't know what I was going to do, 
who was I going to take this all to?

My struggles were winning I couldn't go on, 
my life was so stressful, my dreams were all gone.

I remembered what my mother said, 
she taught me to pray tucking me in bed.

She would pray to Our Father as she gently spoke
her voice was like music always giving me hope.


Details | Rhyme | |

NO ONE'S DAUGHTER

I have lived my life in pain,
My days filled with despair,
Always desperately praying
For the Mom that wasn't there.

So lonely, I always felt,
Never around were any others,
A bad hand I was dealt,
Not even a sister or a brother.

I wondered what I did wrong
For life to be so unfair,
The bond for which I longed
Was never, ever there.

I am no one's daughter,
Giving birth is not the same.
Motherhood was not her,
She only gave me a name.

So hard for me to understand,
Knowing always without a doubt,
Kids were something I planned,
That my life couln't go without.

It's the best feeling ever,
Being a parent makes it all complete.
The greatest love lasting forever
That nothing else could ever beat.

So, a DAUGHTER I am not,
But a MOTHER I'll always be.
Wishing that had been taught,
So she'd at least love me.

(5/3/2002)


Details | Rhyme | |

Are You Going Through A Layoff

Going Through A Layoff???

Are you one who watches 
the nightly news?
And hear of the many jobs
 people will lose?

Does this news bring to your life 
much uncertainty?
Knowing that very soon… 
This could be a reality?

Are you one who’s filled with fear 
and apprehension?
Feeling the burden of stress 
and a lot of tension?

Perhaps you feel very discouraged 
and “distraught.”
Here’s a ”lesson” that needs
 to be taught!

Don’t allow yourself to worry about
 “how things are going.”
There’s a God in heaven that you 
need to be knowing!

He knows all about your layoff 
and every situation!
The love and peace he gives needs
 no explanation!

Everything that you need...  
Jesus does provide!
Worry?  Or Trust HIM?  
That’s for you to decide!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Epic | |

Neglected

When I was a kid
my mother stopped
taking care of me
I never understood why
until today
she never loved me
I have always wanted
a mother who would be
proud of me
but I will never have that
I just have a father
that loves me to death.


Details | Rhyme | |

Empty Spaces

I crawled through empty spaces
                                Because I wished to find
My way back through the memories
                                That seem so hard to find
The corridors where all empty
                                The rooms were full of smoke
Sometimes the things we do to ourselves
                                Quite simply is no joke
I stumbled upon a memory
                                Came upon it just by chance
I almost let it slip right by
                                Without a second glance
There I was a little boy
                                 In my Moms cafe
She waited tables 15 years
                                Hardly missed a day
She showed me off to all her friends
                                My blue eyes and my curls
They all agreed when I got older
                                Better watch out for the girls
Thats my second to last memory
                                Next day the Kern River took her life
When I hear Merle Haggard sing that song
                               The words cut me like a knife
I crawled through empty spaces
                               Because I wished to find
A happy memory of my mother
                               To treasure in my mind 


© 2007 Michael Jordan
All Rights Reserved


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Mama Wolf

 I feel helpless...
Like I can't help her
She's sitting there
Perfectly fine
Staring into the wolfs eyes and open jaws..
.But the wolf seems to be crying..
Like her tears made up for her roar.
Poor young girl with  fear and shame written in your scorched eyes...
I wish I could help you....
But apparently it's not my place....


Details | Rhyme | |

all because of you

The words that was said
goes through my head
as i lay in this bed
it brings tears to my eyes
but i dont want to cry
i try to deny
and FORGET
but i can't
not yet
it brings a pain to my chest
as i try to rest
i used to hide in the closet
feeling unwanted
until i heard my name
isn't ashame
it drives me insane
still today
and i try to pray
but i guess not right
alright everythings gonna be okay 
i say
only like 1462 more days
then you'll be happy
.  .  .  .
i get smacked
oh revenge is gonna get paid back
i tried death
i used to hold my breath
but i thought its not worth it
everyones life is not perfect 
right?
.  .  .  .
I keep a smile on my face holding in that inside
but i dont let it out 
i close my mouth
"be careful of what you say because if you say
the worng thing something will come your way"
so i keep quiet
.  .  .  .
"you dumb Bcth"
I hate when she say that sht
alot of things is like a scar 
it'll never go away
i keep it to myself
so ill remember everyday
hey 
remember this 
remember that
dont try to deny it cuz its all facts
you blame me for stuff i didnt even do
theres only one person to blame and thats you
.  .  .  .
i'm not doing good in school
you call me a fool
in front of your friends
i wish it'll end but it dont,
and it won't


Details | Rhyme | |

Those Who Have Wronged Us


Those Who Have Wronged Us… I had a loved one whom I thought loved me. I couldn’t understand how she would treat me! I thought she was a Christian. She said she was. She told me; “I don’t like you just because!” As the years went by, just the way she lived. I wanted nothing to do with her! Much less forgive! The things she did were hurtful and caused pain. I didn’t even want to mention her name! Years later, I felt the lord tugging at my heart! God wanted a healing… And a fresh start I wanted an apology… It never took place. I felt the Lord asking me for more of his grace. You see, after all these years, with no words spoken. I heard of some news, and my heart was broken. I found out this person was soon at death’s door. When I found out… I fell to the floor! I cried “Father in heaven will you please forgive me? I didn’t love her, in spite of how she would treat me!” The opportunity I had was a chance for forgiving. Now she hasn’t much longer that she’ll be living! May this be a warning and a “wake up” reminder! To those who wronged us, we need to be kinder! Christ’ love needs to break the “barriers” down. So forgiveness in our lives will certainly be found! By Jim Pemberton


Details | ABC | |

My Son

What happened to my little one,
Who's small hand fit in mine?
What happened to the quiet time,
That we would always find?

He's growing up so fast now,
And soon he'll be a man.
I hope I've given him guidance, 
I think I've done the best I can.

He gives me reason to smile,
With each and every passing day.
And I believe he has grown to be,
A good man in every way.

Of course he is not perfect,
I expect that he'll make mistakes.
As long as he takes responsibility,
And always does what it takes.

I have always tried to teach him one thing,
I really hope that he has taken heed.
To always be kind to other people,
And try to help those who are in need.


Details | Free verse | |

The Stranger (Part 2)

I'm so scared and confused,
Feeling abandoned and bruised.
I'm so alone and don't know why,
When I think of the stranger, I can't help but cry.

It all happened four months ago,
But I just recently started to show.
When I see myself, I think of that day,
When the stranger threw my life away.

The morning after pill was not an option,
Neither was abortion, but maybe adoption.
I couldn't take an innocent life away;
For his crime, I shouldn't have to pay.

I'm so mixed up, I don't know what to do,
My friends and family don't know what I've been through.
I'm only a child, just barely sixteen,
High School kids can be insensitive and mean.

I'm going to have to tell someone soon,
The baby's due at the end of June.
I don't know what my family will say,
And because of that, I'm dreading that day.

How am I going to raise a baby,
When my parents are still taking care of me?
What am I going to do?
How will I make it through?

It's not fair that I'm forced to make this decision,
But I think I'll put my baby up for adoption.
That way she'll be raised in a better place,
But I will never forget her face.

She'll be in my heart wherever I go,
And I just hope she will know,
That when I lie in bed at night,
I'll think about her and hope my decision was right.


Details | Rhyme | |

What About the Kids

Mom, and Dad violently fight, through the night, 
each sibling trying, to sleep, without saying a peep.
Can't help, as little children crying, and voluntarily trying,
to creep, within a conflict, for them, becomes deep.

Caught between, having to choose, a parent, 
when not apparent, with whom, they want, to be.
Engrossed in the drama, is mama and papa,
whom are stubborn, to therefore see.
The exact measure, of the, constant pressure,
of their kids, suffering from, this tragedy.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Mother's Dream?

Each year you get school pictures for everyone to see.
I always plead my case for you to just dress properly.

I make you wear your hair down or maybe with some curls
but then the pictures get here and I say ''Who are these girls? ''

Why do I make them do this, clean up and look their best? 
Why can't I say ''Just go as you are.'' and let them get their rest? 

If a picture speaks a thousand words, your pictures surely scream.
You're sitting there pretending to be your mother's dream.

I'll learn to just ignore it, the t-shirts and the jeans.
I'll learn to keep a handle on what your picture really means.

I'd rather be reminded of the way you really are.
Like how you yank your ponytail out as you reach my car.

You have your taste in clothes now, although I don't agree
I love the smile that's on your face each time you look at me. 


Details | Bio | |

Deeper Into the Bottle

Your heart is gone
And your soul is black.
You don't care anymore,
So there's no turning back.
When you feel love,
You lash out in hate.
When everything goes wrong,
I bet you feel great.
How much longer
Can you push everyone away?
Do you really want to
Be alone to your dying day?
I'm so sick of this...
This painfully obvious lie.
You're not happy,
I bet you want to die.
As you sit in your house
And pour another drink,
Don't you see what you missed?
Don't you ever think?
Just forget about me
And pour another beer.
I know it hurts, even if
You're too drunk to shed a tear.


Details | I do not know? | |

As the day comes and goes

As the day comes and goes I look for a miracle to get me through the day.
With the kids screaming and fighting ,I still look for a miracle to get me
through the day.
As the lights go out and no milk to drink, I still look for a miracle to 
get me through the day.
As the food gets spoiled and the cat eats his food,I still look for a 
miracle to get me through the day.
As the sun goes down and the moon comes up I'm glad my miracle has come 
true the day is through.


Details | Lyric | |

I Stand Alone

One more time it burns at night
As the tears fall
I can't remember the last time I cried
I can't explain how much I hate or love myself
But do I lie if I say I feel the same way about you?
This lullaby is only in my head
The real world is the one you represent
Why can't I see you in the mirror?
Father, mother I stand alone
And I can't face the world
As I choke on reality's sick and twisted game
I see my life and I just can't stand it
As I bear you and the one's you've handled
Where did she go
As you held me in your arms
Once again I lay here at night
As a skyward son consumed by things gone wrong
God I can't explain how much I miss her
As I kneel in tears asking her to come back
This guilt is a part of me alone
This emptiness the one I represent
Why can't I see me in the mirror?
Father, mother I stand alone
And I can't face the world
As I choke on reality's sick and twisted game
I see my life and I just can't stand it
As I bear you and the one's you've handled
Where did she go
As you held me in your arms


Details | Free verse | |

Nothingness




Sometimes I wish I didn't exist, 
Evaporate into the mist of nothingness.
I'm just a faint memory in the back of your mind,
When you try to recall me, you say never mine…
Never mind the mind was never clever enough to pull the lever of time,
I'm tripping this must be the acid dripping off of my spine.

No holy scriptures, pictures or babies by bitches to remember me by,
Just a faint electrical current that breezed through third eye,
I wish to die before I've died,
So I commit suicide.

Born again, again born within the mist of genocide where I must abide reside for a time.
Once again up this steep mountain I must climb, but why…

Why are we born to live?
Live to die? 
Die to live forever and sever our ties with the material earth,
And merge with the cosmic multi-verse,
Secret behind the secret within the secret I search.
For some a debt they must reimburse, 
Waiting to see the worst.

Self oppression is the reason the world is so cold,
and why some things that shine are sometimes illusions in this reality like fame and gold…

as I pull the trigger releasing the potential energy of four five taking my last breath.
I see depth.


Details | Blank verse | |

Lost My Mom!

Simple words, 

Comforting smiles,

Surely make my life worth while,

Pain of the past rest on my shoulders,

Now that I am getting older,

Heart is in grieviance,

And my mind is numb,

My heart is hurting,

Even if I have someone to love,

I want this life,

But it seems as if it doens't want me,

Why won't God hear my plea,

Tingling sensations shoot through my body,

But what if i can't pull this off,

What if I can't love again,

What if I have lost my mom!


Details | I do not know? | |

I dont understand why

Why do I upset you so 
Why are you always mad at me I don't know
do I disappoint you and make you angry in different ways
Why cant I be like your other kids and just take your breathe away 
You let people whisper in your ear tell you this and that about your kid
But yet you believe them and you don't give a damn about my tears
You tell me you love me because im your daughter and your child  but would you 
feel the same way if  I acted like a devil child
You ridicule and laugh
You make me sad and don't care
You scold me for telling you how I feel 
You get mad and upset when i speak my mind but turn around and say you don't 
care
Im telling you if you weren't my mom I wold probably pull out your hair
You don't care about  me but act nice in front of my friends 
You say that you don't want  me but turn around and buy me new pair of pants
You told me I was a mistake and that im not worth your time but the last that we 
talked you told to me to cross that special line
So this is what I tell you mother dearest that friends think is so sweet if you love 
me and think im special then explain to me what you mean because if this what 
your love is like then I don't want it no more so if this is the last straw and since I 
have reached my  peek rim wanna walk out of that front door and trust I want 
come back  to your house no more


Details | Bio | |

Mother

All of my life
I trusted you
But you always hurt me 
Whatever you do
Build up my hopes
Before you smash them down
Hurl some more insults
Laugh like a clown
Is it the liquor?
Or is this really you?
Just because you're miserable
Must I be too?
Where did you learn 
To be so cruel?
Why must all our conversations
End in a duel?
You've constructed a fortress
With bottles of beer
Even when you're sober
I wonder if you're sincere


Details | Free verse | |

The day after

Life, by which a mothers death begins my 
forlorn voyage of this forsaken life without hope, 
followed by dreadful visions 
of a world alone.

Death visits with a single slash of a sickle 
from witch an empty shell of a body remains, as I’m left within the
abyss of blackness that misery 
bestows upon me.  

The world around me mutates and folds, 
as the innocents of a child’s mind is 
mutilated, and embodied with 
the eyes of a mans 
tormented soul.

Flesh and blood with arms wide open, 
guiding me home as I am tethered to 
a chain, accompanied with the weight 
of the world, imprisoning me from 
a normal existence of life.

Trap set with hopes of capturing a 
love unconditionally  with 
warming eyes of hope accompanied 
by a soothing voice of security that is 
necessary to a child scared and 
alone to the big would 
around me.

Abandoned at such a young age, 
brings in walls and barriers that 
allows this grief stricken boy shelter 
from the pain held deep within 
my soul allowing access to 
no one.

Within the years to follow a young man
 now has to live with the profound pain and agony 
ensnared within my heart, buried 
deep, protecting myself from the 
torment that my future foretells,
 awaiting to cripple  and maim
 this already broken hart.



Details | Rhyme | |

I Met This Lady Who Didn't Know What To Do

I met a lady who didn't 
know what to do. 
She was deserted by the one
 who said; "I love you!"

I can't begin to describe
 her look of despair.
She asked; "does anyone out 
there really care?"

She told me of her very
 difficult situation.
Feeling much hopelessness 
and frustration.

I remember seeing her and her 
family at church before.
But things are different now... 
She's not happy anymore.

I was in a hurrry... not wanting
 this "extra burden."
But this one thought from scripture 
became quite certain.

We must minister to the widows
 and single mothers too.
This is a command Jesus asks of me and you.

As the body of Christ... we must 
serve one another.
Reaching out to the widows
 and the single mother.

We must see that their needs get 
our undivided attention.
Even though, at times, 
it's a difficult situation.

We must act quickly and 
boldly take a stand.
Reaching out to the widows and single
 mothers as Christ commands!

By Jim Pemberton
2008


Details | I do not know? | |

Mom

You were never there for me
you were always out
you never listened to me
when I wanted to talk to you

why can't you love me
why can't you be there for me

when I needed something
you were too busy
you had no time for me

I wanted to be treated differently
not the same as my brothers

why weren't you there when
I was growing up

you hate me  why
you never talk to me why

you never come to my birthday parties
because you hate me

you lie to me about who my dad is

why do you run from everything
you never stay in one place

why can't you just stay home and stop running
dad doesn't understand why you run

all I can say is why do you do this
is it because of me

you have your boyfriend push me down stairs
guys come in and out of the house

you promise me things and you break them
you give me something and you take it back

you're never there
you never will be

why mom
why


Details | Acrostic | |

Happy Mother's Day

She yells for her mother but her mother doesn't come running. She yells and 
yells noticing her mothers not coming. She's now thinking that her mom is out 
running the streets and she'll get tired and come back to eat. She sits in her 
room in this small little section. She sees something move noticing its only her 
reflection. She knows her mom will be walking through those doors real soon. 
So she sits there and wait patiently in the living room. So walks in the kitchen to 
get a bite to eat. She looks down and to find two black feet. She throws her hands 
over her eyes and screamed. Praying and praying that what she saw was only a 
dream. What she saw was no dream at all and at this moment only thing she 
could feel was her heart fall. She dropped to her knees,hands now covered in 
blood. The blood of mother is just what it was. She never knew of such a person 
that would do this to her mother, because even though her mom wasn't always  
there  but she still loved her. Even though they struggled with a lot of pain and 
sorrows they'd still have time to work it out and be okay tomorrow. She was a 
mom that tried to stay strong for her kids and even through all those trails and 
tribulations that is just what she did. All because her life wasn't perfect as a girl, 
she was a mother that wanted her kids to be ready for the world. They have made 
it through a lot, I mean her and her brother, but one women that tried to make it 
work was her mother. Well the only last words she could say. Was that she loved 
her mom very much and to wish her a very Happy Mothers Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Details | Bio | |

Deep Into the Bottle

You've fallen into oblivion
And there's no turning back.
Your heart is completely frozen,
Its icy shell will never crack.
You sit in your fortress
And hurl words like knives,
Never truly realizing
Their effect on our lives.
You're drained of life and love,
Becoming an empty human shell.
Stop dancing with the Devil,
Before he drags you down to Hell.
You'll never know how I suffer
Watching your plight,
But your love for the bottle
Is something I could never fight.


Details | Epic | |

Edge

Saw the world in mommy's eyes
Through the blood and tears she cries
Now I have to sell my soul 
To the fingers around her throat

(When no one's around)

The devil's in the walls
The devil's in the walls
The devil's in the walls
Do you wanna be alone?

Point and laugh till you're pushed in
Sins of the father are stories for children
But if you want to live at all
Innocence will take the fall

Daddy was a lesson learned
Rather go away and spread his word
To anyone willing to hear
Ones who love have too much fear

(When no one's around)

The devil's in the walls
The devil's in the walls
The devil's in the walls
Do you wanna be alone?

Point and laugh till you're pushed in
Sins of the father are stories for children
But if you want to live at all
Innocence will take the fall


Details | I do not know? | |

You Cried

When i saw you cry, I changed.
I had always placed you high up on a pedestal.
To me you were larger than life.
You protected me.
You were my hero.
I wanted to be just like you.
When i saw you cry, I was confused.
I thought you loved each other.
How come he said mean things?
I love you both so much.
Why don't you love each other?
Is it me?
Did I do something wrong?
When I saw you cry, I realized you were human.
You couldn't make all the bad things go away.
You hurt, too.
When I saw you cry, I wanted to make your tears go away.
To see you smile again.
To make you laugh.
When I saw you cry, i changed.
I grew up.
No longer your baby, when i saw you cry.


Details | I do not know? | |

painful memories

You watch the tears fall from my eyes-
in yet, you don't take notice. 
You watch me scream for him-
but you still don't take notice. 
You slap me in my face,
as you tell me to shut up,
and you flaunt the desperation in you voice
while hearing my cries- 
all because of the choice you made.
I was just a little girl- not old enough to understand...
How could you deal with this the way you did, instead of lending a hand?
Each memory still painful, 
each bruise and scar is reminiscing with regret,
of all the things you had taught me, 
you had not taught me to forget...


Details | ABC | |

Separation among childhood

As my heart weeps for love,
I began to feel blank, 
As my eyes began to glow,
My body wants to vacate.
Childhood went by too fast,
For the young years are through,
As I lay in a dreary dungeon,
I now have to start new.
Childhood was sweet,
There was a bound between two,
For now we have departed,
I have to decide what to do.


Details | Free verse | |

blue

				I Go Back…
I see her standing next to a man who would never do her wrong,
I see my grandmother in the green grass
touching an inanimate body, the
blue shirt a reflection of her feelings
always blue because of what her husband has done, I
see her happy now without him near
standing alone waiting for information to solve a
marriage gone wrong, the memories still lingering, back
when love was strong and everyone happy,
she was still young though, she was not bored,
she was in love, she was ignorant, all she knew is that she was
caring, for her children and theirs also.
I want to talk to her and say Careful,
don’t be a fool in love--the kids will feel the consequences,
you fell for the wrong man, together you will do things
that will end your love forever,
that will leave your daughters blue like you,
that their children will never understand,
that will make you want him dead. I want to speak to her
there in the clear summer light and say that,
her ignorant loving face listening to my every word,
her misunderstood caring soul,
her full broken heart never to love again,
her naïve experienced soul,
I will never do it though. I want to experience it all. I
take her in my hand like a helpless
empty scrap and throw her out the window,
by an edge like a simple worn image, as if I
wanted to knock some sense into her, I ask
Do you want you daughters to feel unloved, and their children to ask why?


Details | Couplet | |

Somebody's Daughter

She was a bundle of fear walking down the street
With the memory of yesterday sill fresh in her feet
She remembers her Mother begging her one day
Sweetheart, Please don't let the life carry you away
The whole world awaited so she took a chance
Lost so deeply in the fire of his cold romance
Tonight you'll find her back out on the street
Somebody's daughter is now somebody's meat
Turning tricks for a fix a simple solution
Filling her soul up with pollution
Sometimes in the life miracles are found
As somebody's daughter walks through the town
After walking all night she was tired and sore
As somebody's daughter knocks on the door
Her dad opens the door with the biggest of grins
Wraps her up in his arms and welcomes her in
He promised her later they would talk for awhile
As he tucks her to bed with a big smile
He looked at his baby with a tear in his eye
Went back to his room and proceeded to get high
See for her daddies habit she had to hoe
Thats what addiction does to the soul
Next day she found him dead in his room
Right there beside him, his needle and spoon
Her mother took her home the very next day
No more of her soul will she have to pay
Trading death for freedom a simple solution
As hell gets offered a little more pollution



© 2007 Michael Jordan
All Rights Reserved


Details | I do not know? | |

Torn between two

The walls echo with  madness of anger spoke between two
For once i wish to wake up with no memory of you
Torn between two i had to decide,either I win the battle or i would choose to die.
Your voiceechos in my ear of what was to be done
You pushed out my father an your only son
Who would be next in this controlling game for one?
The aging memories over come the present fears
non-exsisting hope of drying the on coming tears
dreams last a mere miniute words last forever
memories are the forgotten past as time forgets never.
Hiding in the room and the walls closing in
I hear you in the background screaming "Let me in"!
Wishing to find him wanting to call i cried in the night for my sanity to crawl
blessed be the child who cries alone
Torn between two for everyday at age twelve she wishes she was grown
 


Details | I do not know? | |

Hope

The end of my rope I am very near.
I hold on tighter out of instinct, not fear.
Personally  I'd love to just give up, let go.
But three little men depend on me, so the answer is always no.
My life ultimately has no meaning.
That's why I'm so unstable, always leaning.
No one really cares what happens to me.
Without me around no one's burden would I be.
Always I walk alone each and every day.
I am understanding now that it is just to be the way.
I am destend to love only those who will never love me back.
And to mourn and crave all the love and support I lack.
So if it weren't for my little men I would definately relinquish my rope.
So I thank God for their presence that gives me my hope.


Details | Lyric | |

Skin Your In

Is your Mother Black?
Is your Aunt Black?
What about your Sister  or your Grandmother?
What is the color of their skin?
Is it not the same color your in?
So tell me who misinformed you that love is present in a woman opposite of black?
Who told you that?
Does your Mother's broad lips offend you or her head full of naps?
Does your sisters thick body frame repulse you, or her very dark skin?
Brother are you not comfortable in the skin your wearing?
Does your Grandmothers wide nose seem unattractive to you, do you think your grandfather
is a blind old fool?
No Brother, the only fool here is you
I guess it's her pale lifeless skin you are so intrigued by, do you not see her unfriendly
family member's eyes?
Her mother doesn't seem to find your color as beautiful as you find hers
Or are you appealed by her European features?
Her strait nose and thin lips
Are those the lips you love to kiss?
You love her but can't stand your very own Black kin?
What is your problem Brother?? 
Do you hate the skin your in?
          -Akiyah Francis

(For every Black man who dates white women)


Details | I do not know? | |

MOTHER STRESS

 You dont know what stress is until,
you have a headache & have to take a pill.
   Stress is kids running around screaming,
watching the glare from the tv beaming.
   Wondering what to make for dinner,
or if the kids will call it a winner?
   Looking for all their socks with no mates,
asking where is mommy's cd case?
   Trying to feed the cat, dog, & fish,
praying that the dishes were done, I wish!
   Hopeing that one day things will change,
looking at the living room - time to rearrange.
   Never knowing whats to come,
yelling at the kids look out mommy's burning the buns!
   Praying that for the kids sake you'll never be poor,
here we go again - off to the grocery store.
   Laundry stacks up higher and higher,
kids are fighting -"No mommy she's the liar!"
   Wondering how your gonna pay the bills,
and have enough money to get the kids' pills.
   But at the end of the day its all for the best,
watching four little faces getting  ready to rest.
   Knowing that there are many more stressers along the way,
but in the back of your mind you look forward for each day.
   You can deal with it as long as you try,
just don't ever doubt yourself or ask yourself why!!!


Details | I do not know? | |

Can A Mom Just Say It's Over?

My throat won't stop constricting, I just can't look away.
I really need to talk to you yet I don't know what to say.

I will not let the tears fall. I'm stronger than I look.
You've never given credit for the strength survival took.

I know for you it's over. A mother you'll never be.
Disgust exudes from every pore... each time you look at me.

It's too much to consider, there's too much in our past.
You feel it's not worth trying cause you think it wouldn't last.

It knocks the breath right from my chest when I think of what won't be.
How does it feel to know you've caused me so much misery? 

I wake myself up crying for the mom I'll never know.
You know how much I loved you, but still you let me go.

Will you ever try to love me... maybe try to be my friend? 
Did you think we had forever... are you glad this is the end? 


Details | I do not know? | |

Missing you

            MISSING YOU
HELLO STRANGER, THE WARM DAYS HAVE TURNED TO COLD AND STILL NO SIGHN OF YOU, THE PICTURE 
IN MY ROOM NO LONGER LOOKS AS NEW. 
IT WAS FEBRUARY THE LAST TIME U CHECKED YUO SAID IT WOULDENT BE 6 MONTHES AM I CORRECT? 
ALL IN ALL THERES STILL NO CALL, AND THOUGH IT HURTS SO MUCH, WHENEVER I RECIVE A LETTER 
I ALWAYS BECOME SO TOUCHED. WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR THE REFLECTION I SEE IS YOU. I 
SUPPOSE WHAT I M SAYING DEAR MOM IS IM SIMPLY MISSING YOU.      
 


 DEDICATED TO MY BIRTH MOM AS I AM ADOPTED


Details | I do not know? | |

A WINDY DAY

THE SUN WAS SHINING SO BRIGHT ON THAT WINDY DAY
WHEN YOU DECIDED TO SNATCH ME AWAY
I KICKED AND SCREAMED HOPING SOMEONE WOULD HEAR
YET NO ONE CAME TO HELP NO ONE CAME NEAR
YOU FORCED ME IN THE BACK OF THE CAR AND LOCKED THE DOORS AS 
YOU CLIMBED BACK ON THE INSIDE
I REALIZED THAT THIS WAS BAD AND THERE WAS NO PLACE TO HIDE
WHEN THE CAR CAME TO A STOP I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR WHAT YOU 
WERE ABOUT TO DO
AS YOU TORE OFFMY CLOTHES AND FORCED YOURSELF ON ME IT FELT AS 
IF MY BODY WAS BEING TORN IN TWO.
MY BODY ACHED IN A WAY THAT I HAD NEVER KNOWN BEFORE AS MY MIND 
SPIRALED OUT OF CONTROL
THEN I SAW THE KNIFE AND I KNEW I WAS ABOUT TO LOST MY SOUL
I KNEW AT THAT MOMENT THAT MY MOMMY AND DADDY WOULD NEVER SEE 
ME
IT WAS OVER AND I FELT MY LIFE BEING TAKEN OUT OF ME
WASN’T IT ENOUGH THAT YOU DID YOUR DIRTY DEED
THAT YOU HAD ALLOWED YOUR FLESH TO GIVE IN TO AN EVIL NEED
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE MY LIFE YOU HAD ALREADY TAKEN MY SOUL
NOW WHO WILL COMFORT MY PARENTS ONCE THEY HAVE BEEN TOLD
TOLD OF WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AND THE VISIBLE SIGNS OF HOW YOU 
MADE ME CRY 
THESE WAS NOT THE WAY I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO SAY  GOOD-
BYE
NOW ALL I CAN DO IS LOOK FROM ABOVE AS I WATCH THEM CRY.
WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME 
WHY OH WHY


Details | Lyric | |

Our Heavens

You see me through your judging eyes
But can't break through and wonder why
The wall I built looks just like you
A blank exhibit that holds no truth
I built it myself and it's still unknown
And won't be defeated for I did it alone

Another one that got away
It's not my fault that you can't stay
Thanks for coming; At least you tried
But the door to my heavens on the other side

I saw you through my judging eyes
And watched you tear and cry inside
For a moment I stopped and thought it was me
Through unclear eyes it was hard to see
What I thought was a vision of my own hell
Turned out to be your wall that fell

It was then I finally saw your fear
With truth exposed I saw it clear
You were blind to what you could've seen
Then left your weight inside of me
The anger breaks my heart in two
Both heavens that we never knew


Details | I do not know? | |

Really

Yea?  So today is here...
     So I made it thru the night.
That doesn't mean that you
     or my life is right.
But "You  love me."
      "You just want me to be okay."
If only you realized that
      your way,
         is not the only way!
So you've molded yourself
      to community standards.
So you speak all proper...
      in  societies words!
But... are you really happy?
      Are you really proud?
Or are you just uptight,
      holier and loud?
Do you actually remember 
      having lived all the things
             your preaching about?
Or have you forgotten
      what life is painfully
             all about?
Can you remember what  its
      like to want and need?
Do you remember how it feels
     to have kids to feed/
Do you know what its like
     to truly love?
To  be grateful for 
     the man above?
Or have you forgotten these
      little things?
Like the joy that a simple
      smile brings!
Can you honestly say
       you know how to feel...
Or do you only know how to
       pretend your human and real?
 Do you know who you are?
       Do you have any clue?
Do you really care about me?
       Or is it just all about you?



                  
    


Details | I do not know? | |

I Hate How You Think Im Always Happy

i hate how you think im always happy
how you always say that you give me everything i want...
its almost as if you think that the only things i want are materialistic things...
like i never want to feel complete...
i hate how you think im always happy
how you make me feel like crap on the inside
why cant you see that the only thing i ever wanted...
was a single day...
one day where we can laugh again...
have fun again.. like we used to..
why cant you see that the all i ever really wanted was a single moment...
a moment where i knew that everything would be ok...
that even when teenage drama takes over...
id still have you there for comfort...
why cant you see that all i ever really wanted was a family..
one that i can shamlessly show my friends that i have...
a family whos past can only be concidered that
no more dwelling of mistakes made
why cant you see...
why is it so hard for you to see...
that screaming and yelling and cursing and shouting....
will never scare the bad things that make you want to hide...
does it make you feel better?
to scream and shout?
does it make you feel bigger than the man in the house?
or the children who lock themselfs behind doors...
who blast the music so as to hide behind the words that scream "I HATE WHEN YOU DO THIS"
i hate how you think im always happy...
especially when i know that happiness is the farthest thing from my mind...
	
	


Details | I do not know? | |

How Stupid

Some days I feel so INSANE....
All this anger, rage and pain
Is all rolling around so deep 
Out of my soul it surely seeps.

Lord how stupid was I?
I believed every lie,
I took every powerful punch
And boy there were a bunch.

Every choice I am second guessing.
Nothing in them is a blessing.
With every cry and every tear
Am wondering how I got here?

Now know the system I once believed in
Said all my decisions were all a sin.
The judge said my children she would take
As she believed that their interests I had forsake.

Family and my few select friends
Think that I have made amends.
But surely how can I?
When all I can do is ask why?

Why did I stay his wife?
Why did I endure all the strife?
Why can't I still be a mom?
Why can't I find that magic balm?

Why won't this agony go away?
How long must I continue to pay?
Can I ever really heal?
Or forever will pain be all I feel?




Details | Personification | |

My life as Mother Nature

My life is mother nature,
when i cry everyone cries,
when im scared everyones scared,
when i feel mad i produce a storm.
when i feel hurt everything is torn.
when i have tears, everyone has fears.
When i have hate,
i try to hold back.
A tornado in the sky comming to collect.
collect all the dirt and garbage,
and pain the world has.
As a mother of nature,
i stand on my throne.
Looking through everyone i have known.
Now all my tears are dry and its a beautiful sky.
All the pain i hide, it will all say goodbye.


Details | ABC | |

Love in the Hallway

So I'm slithering along the hallway
and all the lights are out
I come upon Mom and Friend
ignoring the man that shouts
He bangs upon the door
he begs, he implores
we stiflle our laughter
he hears, he begs more
I'm certain I shouldn't be a witness to these events
as a child nearly adult, I'm hard to convince
Hell no, I'm not going back to bed
I need to know why he's out of his head
Mama and Friend can barely contain
their fear and glee for this man's pain
I am breathless, enthralled at  "Their " power
to rob a man of what he thinks of "His" power
then Friend departs with Mr. Pain on his plane, so regal
she soon calls to report he's illegal
finally she returns to her kids, to us, her dogs
I was skulking around when she told mom 
"Thank God".


Details | Quatrain | |

The Woman In The Mirror

When I pass a mirror
and catch you watching me,
I'm stricken with the strangest chill
that no one else can see.

The resemblance is uncanny.
The face, the hair, the nose.
I'm even just about your height.
I guess that's how it goes.

I'll always be reminded 
of when you went away
each time I pass a mirror...
(That's every single day.)


Details | I do not know? | |

Better Days

Today was one of the longest days of my life
I felt as if i was living in strife
The hours of the day is always the same
What and who was there to make the blame
My exscuse was lame
I knew i had to make a change
I went home finding myself on bending knees
Praying to god for a better day
He said always believe in me
You will make a way to a better day
Not just this day but everyday


Details | I do not know? | |

why mom??

why did you go? why didn't you asked

us if we need you so? why did you

choose alcohol over us?did you

thought that it will help you with 

all of those problems you had? why 

did you leave? why did you gived us 

up?was it because we were crying too

loud?or maybe we were too much 

trouble for you because every time 

you wanted the liquor we wanted food?

 why mom? why did you had to be 

this way? why didn't you want to

celebrate our birthdays?now we are  

about to go away and you don't even

care...life in the orphiniges can be

so scare.. i don't understand why 

didn't you want to love us like a  

mother should have?im the oldest one

and i had to be both a mother and a

sister for your only sons!what about

kasia the youngest little girl you

left her in the hospital and didn't

want to see her.. why mom?im so

confused..what  did we do wrong?

we are wondering on this world all

alone dont have a place to call a 

home or a mother to call our own...

 why mom?

 
  


Details | Blank verse | |

Love me

Where were you when I was born daddy,
why did you leave me  all alone.
When I was in her belly,
did you leave her or were you there.

Mommy why must you go through this. 
Why cant you see this is hurting me.
I dont want to live like you,
mommy and daddy.

I hate that your always gone, daddy.
I hate that your always high, mommy.
Tell me why,
why you cant love me?


Details | Rhyme | |

Sundown Syndrome

Sundown syndrome
Who are you?
Looking blank
while looking through
all my past 
and troubles too
needing sullen sleep
You were steel
to stand up straight
and now I merely
supplicate
and pray to see
your eyes again
sparkling with awareness.


Details | Ballade | |

IN MY HANDS IS MY HEAD.

I can't seem to get over this filling,
  sure every one losses every one falls,
at this moment some thing is missing.

I'm tiered ,I'm drained,
  my head is pounding,
I fill lost in this game.

I need that phone call,
  fills like I need that love,
I miss you that's all.

Superman is what was said,
  a fairy tail, in the real world,
in my hands is my head,

No one to talk to no one to see,
  lost as time stands still,
that's me,

Need a moment to regroup,
  need time to think,
need time on poetry soup.

What would you say,
  how would you know,
there is no other way.

Seams like years sence we were there,
  seams like yesterday I saw you,
I wish...nothing compares.

Mom's time ,
  mom's moment,
a moment hard to find,

Let me catch my breath,
  let me pick myself up,
let me put this to rest,

Moving on without a word from you I dread,
  like you I will finish this dance,
for now in my hands is my head.
  



     
 


Details | Bio | |

A Mother Never Sleeps

Nothin like a road trip
In the middle of the night
Josh was hitch hiking
Him and his dad got into a fight

How did I find out...
He's my son's best friend
Another adopted son of mine
My love has no end

11pm 
In my sleeping attire
I head north for two hours
Blood pressure getting higher

He waited in a parking lot
I told him this to shall pass
Turned him around then
Kicked him in the a--!

I do not allow hitch hiking
No matter where you are
Now get in the truck
Vegas and my son isn't too far

His dad is an alcoholic
Means words are all he can say
Josh told him he needs help
He's hurting the kids each and every day

A bruise on his cheek
From a punch from his dad
He didn't what to hear what was said
For alcohol sees no bad

Driving two hours south now
Just a couple of his bags in tow
Bought him a ticket at the airport
At 6:20am, off to Vegas he goes

5am, Headin due east
Coffee in hand
Sammi and Vicky calls
They're buried in the sand

Out four wheelin' 
With no spot light to see
Now I'm gathering up 2x4, chains, shovels
Trying to find them in ebony

Two trucks isn't enough
We went to get more
Finally got it out
Im' going to bed...can't take anymore



Good night!
















Details | I do not know? | |

Not Knowing

It’s the not knowing,
That I would say,
That bothers me
In every way.

Am I pregnant,
Or am I not.
I sure think,
This thought a lot.

I am late again,
Like I was at first.
It’s the anticipation,
That really hurts.

Not getting my hopes up,
Is a hard thing to do.
But I’m let down again,
At one line and not two.

Is it too early,
To really tell?
There’s no real way
Of knowing well.

It’s the not knowing,
This is so true,
What to expect,
Or what to do.


Details | Free verse | |

Is That You . . ?

The scuffing of slippered feet 
stoop shouldered baby steps 
can’t climb the stairs 
can’t get to the potty 
button my buttons, please 
I need a nap 
come read to me . . . 
hair needs washing 
winter’s coming 
wrap me in a blanket, dear 
tuck me in and shut the door 
but, God, don’t leave me here 
I know your face, seems close somehow 
but that memory’s not too clear 
nice to see you, dear 
do I know you, dear? 
you’ve such lovely green eyes – 
like mine . . .


Details | I do not know? | |

What Is Love

 What is love, What is love I'm trying to figure out this thing that they call love. I know it's not in my refrigerator, the last time I checked it was only ice cubes in it. I heard my girl mention something about love last night when she was with me, but today I seen her around the corner with this other guy so I guess they are trying to figure out this thing that they call love also. I heard my mother managing to say between the blows of my father, that she still loved the chump. And when I did something bad my mother beat me terribly and said, son I only do this because I love you, and as I think about it I'm starting not to like this thing that they call love. But I hear that theres some good love, some true love and some real love, but how do I find it, and as I stand in this long line looking for it, I'm sure they are going to run out, and if they do I am going to stay in this line because I hear they are giving out hate next and I want to be the first one to get it

                                                    SIGNED
                                               The abused child
                                          
                                             



Details | I do not know? | |

Open at the Seams

My mother made a dress for me it was beautiful and bright.
 She told me to wear it well and rather ladylike. 
 Little did mamma know the weak seam could pull though, 
sometimes threadbare at the sleeves and a little more old than new.
With needle in hand I would try to hide the ragged spaces. 
 where my slip would show in what were the most awkward places.

Many hours did I spend on the tiniest details to repair,
 So there would not be whispers and penetrating stares.

Constantly examining this dress so that my hem would not show,
 nor did I want others to see a tattered slip that lay below.  
Merrily did I sow away as hem-by hem did rip.  
But holes showed too quickly I could no longer hide my slip/

Only a few times have these seams outrun my threaded needle. 
where everything was exposed to a slip that was rather feeble.

Use safety pins and liquid stitch to hold the seams together tight,
 for this dress my mother made me was once beautiful and bright.

Now, the patchwork that used on this threadbare dress
 has come apart once again because it could not handle stress. 

So long as I am occupied with needle pulling thread 
the darkness of my emotions stays deep inside my head.  

the shadows lurk in corners around the bodice and the nape;
 only seeping outward when I am busied with other gapes.

So like a cloak around me the darkness becomes a shroud, 
weakness loosens the seams of this dress I once wore tall and proud.

Someone once said this mind was the type of with men dreamed;
 only if they knew how easily it came apart at unraveling seams.


Details | I do not know? | |

Mother

The sun was out 
And I was gone
The clouds rolled over a million times
The grass swayed
Intense 
As if it could fly
I was still
Rigid where I stood
Afraid
Scared of change
Of the uncertainty of decision
What does it mean to live for another?
To make decisions that effect not only my self?
I've been thinking
Now a house of one will become a house of two


Details | Free verse | |

Can the Past Be Changed On a Whim?

Why?
How?
Can you leave me standing,
Alone,
Afraid,
And not shed a tear,
Or
Even bother to look back.
Or 
Think of what you've left,
Or
What you had.
Could you even know of all that I have given?
The blood shed.
The soul lost,
Forever,
To a darkness unknown
Inhabited by creatures better left unnoticed.
Foul.
Fetid.
Deadly.
This is my legacy??!??!
This is what you gave me?
This,
 Is what I have to offer!!
But,
Can it change?


Details | Free verse | |

untitled - for now

distortion
its the only thing you see
even though i try so hard
to hide that secret part of me
to keep up my masquerade
to be the someone you wish me to be
is it worth it?
can you even hear me?
try so hard to get your attention
and every once in a while mention
how much i love you and need your affection
your emotional support and your guiding direction
i wont give up, i wont stop trying
although your subconscious rejection keeps me crying
the need i feel is truly defying
my aching thirst undying - 
love from you is my overwhelming zeal
is this my life?
is this even real?
if i wake up
will this all be a dream?
will my story be another?
will this puzzle of a life
finally be put together?
unanswered questions
and incomplete thoughts
my life's been a game 
it seems so far i've lost.


Details | Lyric | |

For Mothers Wishes

I missed this year, with my son.

Hope and pray, his life’s still fun.

To see his face, hear his voice again.

To let him know, he’s my best friend.

We are the same, in many ways.

He cooks so well, has looks & smiles 4 days.

Need & want him, back in my life.

Can’t stand his dad, thankful I’m not his wife.

Am finally free, can’t get to me.

I only want, our son Jeremy.

He is my life, my goal to save.

Plus moms’ ashes, from her grave.

Makes no sense, that this is real.

4 mothers wishes, may have to steal.

Get back from them, love from my son.

Must undo, any damage done.

These two things, & I’ll be through.

Can move on,  and stay true.

If you can help me, from above.

Will have forever, my “UNCONDITIONAL LOVE”.


Details | I do not know? | |

Not Today

She contemplates the single date 
which holds her from the edge

The knife is willing for the killing
but her birth date is soon to come

She couldnt forget, lost was the threat
She dropped her head in defeat

Slips the knife in the drawer
and walks slowly up the stairs

Not tonight not tomorrow 
Death shall not walk these halls





Details | Bio | |

The Little One

The buzz running in your head seems to control your mind.  But what about me?  
The one with your blood flowing through its veins?  It should matter, but it 
doesn't’t.  Why don’t you care for the little one that depends on you?  Was she a 
mistake?  Was I too much of a burden for you?

For nine months it grew in you, using your nutrients, using your oxygen.  You even 
took the pain for it to take its first breath.  But as it grew older and made silly 
mistakes, so did you.

There were no lights.  There was no water.  There were things in my hair that I 
just couldn't’t itch away.  As for you, you didn't’t need to be itched away.  You did 
that on your own, leaving another kid to watch a baby as you had your fun and joy.

And when that awful night happened-yeah, I remember-you didn't’t know how to 
protect me.  As her little legs ran as far as they knew how, her little heart had just 
double clutched.  She is lost.

Now as that little one grows into a woman, she wanders back down that path 
and asks herself, why?  The little one had been found and brought to her king’s 
castle, filled with love, care, and joy.  But there’s still that hole waiting to be filled.  
And as that young woman is wondering, she also asks herself why couldn’t her 
old shack have been made into a castle, and why had her queen left the throne?

This older little one will always wonder, but she will find her way.  Her way around 
the world and finally be a queen someday herself.  No thanks to you, the only 
buzz in her mind will be the buzz of knowledge, faith, love, care, and happiness.


Details | Free verse | |

just tell her.

talk to her,
you plead with me.
just tell where you are,
just let her know that youre alright.
am i really alright?
does she even deserve to know?
you only get one mother,
you're speaking quieter now.
because you lost your mother,
because i know youre still in love with mine.
but please dont make me do it.
i know i'm pouting now,
glowering,
acting like a toddler.
no words escape from my mouth,
as though its been sewn shut.
i dont want to pick up the phone,
or type each letter for her to read and understand.
you slip $50 in my hand.
just talk.
just tell her,
just tell her.
but i cant do it.
not with the pulse of bribery in my palm,
not with the longing in your eyes.
you could never understand what she has done to me.


Details | I do not know? | |

WHERE COULD HE BE?

Panic shook her spinal cord
Her hands trembles with troubles
Her voice became thicker and deeper
Like that of a baritone
Losing count of her made calls
To her kinsmen since morning
Where could he be?
What could have happened to him?

Flashing backward to the faithful day
At the altar, Six over a Silver Jubilee
Long enough indeed, she wept
Could he have . . . ?
When? How? Why? Where?
All rose to the fore
Hmmmm!!! Liar, the devil remains 

I rang the ring unto her ears
It has occurred  ! ! !
The moving house tumbled 
And rumbled four times
Leaving some in a trance 
Few on a flit far beyond the planet
Conversing only with the Angels 
To get a visa, others crashed in 
Without any clearance for the beyond

Alas! We got to know where he hid
He is at the Casualty where 
Casualties of variance floods
Right there in “Ibadan,” at the UCH
Where Physicians are churned out 
Only in their hundreds.

His bones where pictorially fixed
A slight fracture with no serious fraction
Occurred only at the Lumbar region
In pains, he laughed 
Assuring many wishers of God’s own
Operation on him with the heavenly hosts
No “poblem” he averred
With radiating smile of faith similar to that of 
The seed of Mustard that can move it all
In any event, he is a Clergy.

My Mummy arrived the day next
Tears stood akimbo on her face
But for the fear of the Physicians she knelt
Beside the bed of her loving Romeo
She prayed and kissed him in a jivy
As the Clergy’s only daughter holds tears no bar
At last, the Clergy who got lost in a road mishap
En-route  “Guru –Marahaji way” was found 
Smiling twenty healthy more years ahead.



Alayande Stephen.T
6th of November,2005
1.25pm


Details | Free verse | |

WAIT

When will it stop?
Now, later maybe never
I sit and wait for that day
When I leave then maybe
Maybe then, I won’t be here to hear it
I cant wait till that very day
That I don’t have to hear all the bull
From anybody and everybody
I’m tired of it all 
But even now it still comes to haunt me
As if I did something wrong
But no, what did I do
NOTHING!
Nothing at all!
Except for trying and trying
But then again it never works
Everybody doesn’t even care to know
All they know how to do is talk 
I’m so tired and worn out with the same stuff
All the time, even if I did succeed
It wouldn’t matter
They don’t know how it feels and
THEY DON’T CARE
If they knew how it felt to be called all this…
All these names that you’d never wish upon another
It sucks to be called a “FATSO”
BY YOUR OWN MOTHER!
And for you “little” brother to follow in her footsteps
You don’t know how it feels
And I’d never wish it upon anyone else
And then again……
I WAIT!



Details | Free verse | |

Mother's Smile

He greets the sunrise in fear.
Not knowing what today
In his world will bring. 
The Greatness of life
stretching endlessly before him.
To a child, such a fearsome thing.
Today will you lift him up
Or will you cast him down?
Have you already imagined 
his committing of a new wrong.
In the beauty of this new day
will you gift him with the Joy
of a Mother's Loving Smile? 


Details | I do not know? | |

Dear mother

I loved everything about you even your sins  
when you gave up and told yourself "I lose" I reminded you to win 
The saddest thing I've ever known was the day you toldme on the phone belief no more you 
had in me and she could come and i couldn't and thats final you see
I no longer understand what you are or what your trying to do I guess doing to me what 
your own mother did to you


Details | Free verse | |

I Have Been

Have you ever heard  the old saying, 'You can ride a willing horse to death," well 
my grandmother told me this many times, during my growing years.
Now that I am older, and I pray much wiser, I know exactly what she meant.
Out there in this big old mean world are people, and some of these people don't 
have much sense when it comes to piling things on you, "farming you out," so to 
speak.  I have been a taxi, I have been a nurse, I have been a teacher, I have 
been a sitter, I have been a cook, I have been a receptionist, I have been a bank, I 
have been a mechanic, I have been a painter, I have been a mother, I have been 
a carpenter, I have been a decorator, I have been a mover, I have been so many 
things, for so many people, I have forgotten who I am.


Details | I do not know? | |

Fenceposts

Barbed wire makes illusive shadows
the sun is going down slowly,
a lazy red spoon
in your corner of the sky
it must be ten degrees
but you've been sitting on that
fencepost
all day
I never asked you questions
I know better when you're holding your hands 
like that,
laced together
playing with the rings
your eyebrows are raised,
annoyingly aristocratic
you won't tell me what you've been thinking
decisions, decisions
I smile knowingly,
but stop when you look worried
it could be the cold
but there's a tear on your cheek
it was one year ago,
I brushed it off with my mitten.
You looked at me helplessly
"I'm getting an abortion"


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Untitled #202 / Squirrel

 Why did you have to do that?”
“Do what?”
“Run over that [dead] squirrel?”
“Because I’m heartless”
“What?”
”Huh?”


Details | I do not know? | |

Call Him Uncle

MOMMA SAID THAT I SHOULD CALL YOU UNCLE FOR YOU WERE HER NEW 
BOYFRIEND
DID SHE ALSO KNOW THAT YOU WERE ABOUT TO COMMENT A NASTY SIN
NOT TO HER BUT US HER CHILDREN IN THE MIST OF THE NIGHT
COMING INTO OUR ROOM FORCING YOURSELF ON US WITH ALL YOUR 
MIGHT
I WAS JUST A LITTLE GIRL AND MY BROTHER WAS YOUNGER THEN ME
I DID NOT CRY FOR ME I JUST WANTED YOU TO LET HIM BE
TO JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE BECAUSE HE HAD BECOME SO UNHAPPY AND 
CONFUSED
MOMMA WAS SO IN LOVE SHE DID NOT KNOW SHE WAS BEING USED
SHE ALLOWED YOU TO TELL HER WE WERE BAD AND OUT TO DO YOU IN
SHE DID NOT BELIEVE US AND GAVE INTO YOUR WICKED GRIN
NOW IT IS TOO LATE.  FOR THINGS HAVE GOTTEN SO FAR OUT OF HAND
SO, I PULLED THE TRIGGER AND TOOK AWAY MY MOMMA’S NEW MAN
YET I SAVED MY BROTHER AND I DON’T CARE WHO DOESN’T UNDERSTAND
HE DID WHAT WE SAID AND THERE WAS NO REASON FOR US TO LIE
I WAS THE ONE THERE EACH NIGHT WATCHING MY LITTLE BROTHER CRY
SO MY LITTLE BROTHER I LOVE YOU, BUT I LEFT A NOTE 
TAKING BLAME FOR WHAT I HAVE DONE 
YOU ARE FREE TO SLEEP PEACEFULLY FOR WE HAVE FINALLY WON
SO DO NOT CRY MY LITTLE BROTHER AS THEY LOWER ME IN THE GROUND 
I HAVE HEARD YOUR UNANSWERED CRIES SO DON’T MAKE THAT SOUND 
HOLD ON TO THE FACT THAT I LOVE AS THE EARTH OPENS IT DOOR
I DID AS I HAD TO SO YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO CRY ANYMORE
SHE SAID TO CALL HIM UNCLE…


Details | Rhyme | |

Reversed roles

Come visit my grave.” Is what she said,
To little to have these thoughts in her head.
She’s only a baby she’s eight years old,
Through her, her mothers story will be told.
“let’s move away and start a new life.”
“Maybe my boyfriend will leave his wife.”
Every night drink after drink,
Her mind so clouded she couldn’t even think.
Her little girl so innocent and pure,
Left with no choice but to quickly mature.
The roles some how became reversed,
Night after night it seemed rehearsed.
Pick her up and bring her home,
Pour some wine and leave her alone.
One glass ALWAYS led to two,
Until she didn’t know what to do.
She only four then five then six,
Because of you she learned new tricks.
She learned to cry at nothing at all,
To avoid hearing you make that call.
She learned to say that she felt sick,
Couldn’t you see it was only a trick?
“Your fathers no good I need so money.”
“Don’t look at me like I said something funny.”
“Your to little to understand, But your Uncle 
now is my new man.”
“The time has come for us to move home,
Baby I love you but I need time alone.”
“You’ll go live with Daddy and you’ll start school,
Even though I told you ….he was a fool.”
“When things don’t work out with my new man,
I’ll come get you I’ll have a plan.”
A little girl so lost and confused
Her little heart has been badly bruised.
“Come visit my grave” is what she said,
Her tiny heart left hanging by a thread.


Details | Free verse | |

Reality Fading

I sit here trapped in this body.
Daily routines, do define.
I only want to sleep.
If only they would let me.

Why can't I make them understand.
Why must my body fail me.
This palsy that weakens my mind.

Fixated forty years ago,
I struggle to remember those I loved.
Once familiar faces are now strangers.
These unknown people who say they love me.
They must be confused, thinking of someone else.
I don't know them.
This delimma frightens me.

I struggle to control my freedom that they steal away.
They bind my hands, for my own good.
Afraid I will hurt them.
If I get free, I will. I don't know them.
They all want to hurt me.
These strangers with my eyes,
that call me Mom.


Details | I do not know? | |

Suicidal

Sitting beside the water, Underneath one of the stars.
Everybody watches him as they drive by in their cars.
Tear-filled eyes sits this troubled child.
His heart is sad his mind gone wild.
With no one to comfort him, alone he sits in sorrow;
Hoping his problems will be gone away tomorrow.
And while he waits a tear falls down, rolls off his leg and drops to the ground.
His body is aching, his eyes are red
He has this sharp pain in the center of his head.
He thinks back on life and all the things he didn't do;
And while he thinks he pulls out a .22!
With the gun to his head he cries one last cry;
As he thinks how good It will be for him to die!
The trigger gets pulled back and so does his life.
With just one shot he ended all his pain and strife!!!
He didn't stop to think who might be hurt;
As they watch his body being carried to the dirt.
All he could see was the bad in life and all the people who didn't care.
How his mother hated him because he was a painful reminder of the father who 
was no longer there.
How he was constantly bullied and picked on at school.
Or how the only girl he ever loved played him for a complete fool.
Tears, pain ,love, strain;
Lots of lose no gain!!!!!


Details | Rhyme | |

Honor Thy Mother

Our mother is dying. It is very sad, but true.
Do you not hear her crying,
from the pain that she goes through.
She deserves more of our attention.
We should treat her like a queen.
It really angers me to mention
all the neglect that I have seen.
It's hard for me to believe
that her children do not care.
It's hard for her to breathe.
They keep polluting the air.
We can't stand here and allow
her health to fade very much more.
Our mother needs us now, more than ever before.
We should all respect each other
and put our differences aside.
We can save our mother. Let our hearts be our guide.
So take this advise I'm giving,
for whatever it is worth.
If you want to continue living 
with our mother here on Earth.


Details | I do not know? | |

Hide Away

What exactly has happened to you in these last few years?
Did you get tired of crying pointless tears?
Was it that you got tired of giving your all?
Or maybe you’re just too tired to keep standing tall

Let me tell you, I’m sorry for what you’ve been put through
And for how much I’ve continued to disappoint you
But I can only be who I know to be
To be and do the things that set me free

You pride yourself on how well you do, how much money you make
Why all the sudden do I feel like you’re a fake?
You’ve changed, and certainly not for the better
Remember what you told me? Ahead, there is always better weather

Maybe I have gone against the ways you raised me
Do you think you pushed too hard so I could be who you wanted me to be?
I’m tired too, or do you even care anymore?
It’s looking to be about that time, I have to go out on my own to explore

It’s just too bad, because I thought I’d always have you by my side
But since all you do is complain, all I know to do is hide


Details | I do not know? | |

MoM

Why do you hate me?
think about when you used to bath me,
i have always had only one Wish for you,
a wish for you to love me,
but that one wish never came true,
every day you make me feel blue,
my life seems empty because of you,
But mom your the one who made me, and why this way,
if only i could of paid you to love me,
i would of but that would'nt of been right,
Why'd you have to be so mean to me,
i wish that i just woke up,
and this was all a dream,
mom i know you hate me, 
wanted only one girl and had two,
but thats to bad for me,
because the really sad part of this life,
is that ""you'll always be my MOM!""


Details | Rhyme | |

Another Adopted Son

His name is Christopher
He is the child of my recently deceased best friend
Without his dad alive
He couldn't find a beginning or an end

He stayed with me 
Night after night
Finally he asked to live here
Because my family love isn't a fight

I love him as my own
Just as all my others
There's nothing more hurtful
Than absent Mothers

We set down the rules
Some simple goals to achieve
The death of Dan is real
But we will start new, happy memories


Details | Bio | |

The devil child

What’s wrong with me?
Why can’t I do anything right?
I will never be good enough,
Not for you,
I’m not skinny enough,
Not smart enough,
I’m the fire that has to be extinguished,
Got rid of and thrown away,
As I’m far too much trouble,
I really am the devil incarnate,

You say over and over,
“whats the matter with you?”
I’m just the problem,
With no solution,
An illness,
With no cure,
I try and try to just do what you see fit,
But I’m still more trouble than im worth,
Why would anyone want me?

I’ve failed at everything,
Everything I’ve ever done,
The disappointed comments hurt,
But the silenced disappointment hurts even more,
Like knives through me,
The searing pain hurting me,
But satisfying you,
It makes me want to cry,
To explode,
To just die,

“How did you turn out like this?”
You say,
“You had such a good childhood
You’ve wrecked everything
Causing such problems
I’m disappointed in you for doing those things,
What’s wrong with you?
Why can’t you do anything right.”


Details | I do not know? | |

A Thing Called Death

A thing called death,
How could it be?
That it would take,
Both of my babies.

October the 25th,
The day would be,
That my firstborn
I would get to see.

A life cut short,
By a thing called death.
My baby boy never,
Got to take his first breath.

Some time in December,
My baby girl
Would have been born
Into this world.

A life cut short,
By a thing called death.
My baby girl never,
Got to take her first breath.

This thing called death,
How could it be?
That something so cruel,
Would take my babies.