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Lyric Pain Poems | Lyric Poems About Pain

These Lyric Pain poems are examples of Lyric poems about Pain. These are the best examples of Lyric Pain poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Lyric | |

ICE KING


My skin petrified, mummifying my hand
upon pools of brittle ice
like curdled blood piercing veins: I watch
the moon bathing its flesh,
 
in crystal yellow, waxing a sheen...
my pores dilate as cubes slowly melt
when this fired orb heals from above

till its velvet breath climbs into my head, 
extinguishing limbo of a daze…until I convulse in joy
when chunk-stone changes into glimmered dew.



*I held ice cubes on my palms and was transported
back to scene of one night when a high fever drowned
my senses… for some reason, viewing the glory 
of the moon relieved me from delirium… 

Ice King Contest of Skat
( in less than 10 lines)
25July2013
by nette onclaud






Details | Lyric | |

The beginning of the end

Ive been trying to fill this hole in my chest.
I promised I pleaded but you still left like all the rest.
So here I sit once again all alone.
You wont even shoot a text to my phone.
So this is where I fail to stay strong.
This life of mine starts to go wrong.
So I fried up the brass.
I apply heat to get this bubble in the glass.
I heat the rock and watch it melt down.
I'm all smiles in the happiness that Ive found.
Before I knew it im drawing out of the silver spoon.
One, two, blastoff soon ill be higher then the moon.
You get that little burn in the back of your throat.
Hang on cowboy cause you just hit some bomb dope. 
Then comes the ringing in your ears.
Just sit back and all your worries and fears will simply disappear.
Don't worry about the lights fading in and out.
That's the dope coursing threw your veins ya your high no doubt.
The color will leave your eyes.
Your body is engulfed in warmth and a million butterflies.
But now the demon has got you like a needle to thread.
Welcome to the struggle cause you got to keep the demon fed.
Now we've been up for nights and days.
Given up hope we surcome to her ways.
When she leaves you she leaves you feeling dead.
You cant silence the voices screaming inside your head.
Now you just look for the next high.
Cause without that demon you wanna die.
People will wonder where have you been.
Its no secret with those track marks up and down your skin.
Now you will know new lows.
Its a sad story but thats just how it goes.
Now your so alone and feel so close to death.
Just remember who did this her name is crystal meth.
Now if you could relive that day.
When your pal held out that needle tell what would you have to say.


Details | Lyric | |

WHAT AM I

I hurt so bad, yet I feel no pain;
I've grown so numb, I must be insane.

Is anything real, Does anyone care?
I'm lost and alone, flooded with despair.

I have a hole inside, there's so little hope;
I'd scream and cry, if it would help me cope.

What am I, is this what life is?
I can't deny, I'm angry and confused.
Kept alive, with food and shelter;
What a lie, why my soul rots away!

This isn't my turf, in this small courtyard;
Horrible things take place, everyday is hard.

Spare me your moral standard, I hate excuse;
The unseen torture, and the mental abuse.

If God had a people, they'd fight for my escape;
Not slam hope's door closed, until it was too late.

What am I, is this what life is?
I can't deny, I'm angry and confused.
Kept alive, with food and shelter;
What a lie, why my soul rots away!

*I AM AN ORPHANED CHILD THAT WAS TRAFFICKED INTO SEX SLAVERY! 

Dirge Poem of Bitterness and Distress

Sponsor: Poet Destroyer A
Contest Name: WHAT AM I?



Details | Free verse | |

Rebirth

Ignite,
The missing light,
Forget,
What's behind.
Just believe,
That love comes again...

'Cause,
The skies,
Are like a hard glide,
In a shining rainbow's light...

All dreams and fantasies,
Can be reality,
'Cause fantasy,
Is based on reality...
But all histories aren't the same...

'Cause,
Sometimes, we dive,
In our lives...

So,
Don't judge,
For what you see,
Judge,
For what it is...,
'Cause time passes,
But, memories remain...

And,
Listen,
To your heart,
'Cause,
The body, does,
The mind, thinks,
And, the heart, feels...,
While, the soul, lives...

So,
Always remember,
To remember the past,
To live the present,
And to wait and pursue the future...

Listen to your heart,
Before you are telling goodbye,
'Cause destiny,
Might lead to demise...,
But, remember that destiny can be changed...

Life is unpredictable,
But space and time,
Could be controlled...
And even if some die,
We may survive...

Remember,
That life,
Might have an endless beginning...

All that remains,
Is to be reborn...


Details | Rhyme royal | |

Gone With The Wind

The Earth cracks, the plates slide, and we fall of track.
The sun freezes over, and color is beginning to lack.
We fall back, lay in this wake of destruction,
as apocalyptic thoughts grab us, from every direction.

Our life flashes like the lightening in the sky,
the thunder rumbles, and it rains down, as we begin to cry
Time stops and we're still, as a volcano erupts,
the ashes rain down and form clouds, and all we hope for is luck.

But what is luck? What is it to us, but an empty wish.
It's nothing but something we hope for, and we're hopeless.
But it's a possibility, that feels impossible to me,
but it's a picture that I gotta paint, but canvases aren't free.

So I sit as a tornado forms right in front of my eyes,
and I'm scared, but I stand up, and finally realize,
that I gotta fight. Or I'll forever be denied.
I'll forever be alone, and I'll never get it right.

I see a piece of paper, and I think of an easy solution,
it's crumpled up, and you've gotta open to be able to read it.
But it's a blank page, nothing but a piece a paper.
You watch it float in the wind, you'll write a story on it later.

It's gone, Gone Away With The Wind,
you tried but you're own game beat you, you can't win.
No matter the pen, the ink is your blood, it comes from within,
just don't lose it, cause once you lose it then its Gone With The Wind.


Details | Lyric | |

From The Peircing Of An Arrow To The Cold Hearted Fate Of love

her life is on the tip of his tongue
the sparkle leaves her eyes
an arrow to his chest
drawing her to her death
a feather falling from the sky
the death of an angel
her wings turn blood red
like the color of the red sea
the sword drawn out of the ground
by her own hands
what he could not do himself
she has done for him
He falls unto to his knees
the arrow she had put into his chest
the greatest of betrayals
She asked for her death wish
Holding the ring in her palm
He looks into her eyes
watching the love she had left for him disappear
Falling into despair
Her face hitting the ground
Blood surrounded her body
He watched as she died
He couldn't move from the love that had pierced his chest


Details | Lyric | |

To Be With You

I should have held on tighter
When I had you in my grasp
For now I’m just a distant fading 
Memory in your past
My smile can hide the sadness
My tears are wiped away
But all this pain I feel inside
I live with day by day 
The pathway to my heart
Is just a worn and beaten track
But till I have you by my side 
I’ll just keep running back
You left me with a memory
That no one else can steal
But left me with a heartache
No one else can ever heal
What lies in my future now
What am I to do
How can I be happy
When in life I don’t have you
My heart just aches completely
Every hour every day
It’s only when I’m with you
That this pain will go away
I know I have to let you go
Instead of holding on
For you were never mine
To me, you never did belong
Bottled up inside me 
Are the words I've never said
Feelings that I've never shown
Lines you never read 
I want to live my life with you
Tomorrow and today
For better and for worse
Beside you all the way
To be there when you need me
Until this world is through
And when our time is over
I will spend the end with you...


By Raina Hutchins


Details | Lyric | |

Watch Me Die

The petals of a rose, they tremble and they fall
Just like my aching heart, my backs against a wall
so I Scream- but no one seems to hear me 
(and) I Bleed- but no one seems to worry 
(and) I Cry- but no one spares a passing glance
(and) I Die- no one seems to care

My mask, it melts away
as the flames burn through my bones, the pain it never fades
and its worse because i know the angels are not here to save me
everthing but you hates me
and im stuck with all this trapped inside
Im forced to sit and watch me die

Im in an empty room...
all hope disenegrates.
nothing left to do but get drunken, high
im willing to do anything just to get by

so I Scream- but no one seems to hear me 
(and) I Bleed- but no one seems to worry 
(and) I Cry- but no one spares a passing glance
(and) I Die- no one seems to care

My mask, it melts away
as the flames burn through my bones, the pain it never fades
and its worse because i know the angels are not here to save me
everthing but you hates me
and im stuck with all this trapped inside
Im forced to sit and watch me die
Im forced to sit and watch me die


Details | Rhyme | |

MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT NOW AT 36

we stimulate our minds for our intellect to grow
becoming more technical
remaining spiritually slow

so we face trials and tribulation
crisis and complications
praising God, while serving Satan
expecting love when spewing hatred

our faith is dissipating 
until its totally forsaken
for miracles we pray
yet and still we disobey

missed lessons
means blocked blessings

wrong paths are chosen 
cursed to glimpse the promised land but never enter like Moses

it's hard to humble ourselves cause we've got pride
so we find a hard head leaves a soft backside

when stressed i ride 
reclined, inside

sounds booming
trying hard to decipher the message in our music

Pac said keep your head up
Treach said guard your grill
Wu sang protect your neck
Cube said to kill at will

Eazy said easy does it
Run said hard times
Jigga ask can I live
but Big ready to die

50 cent said get rich ore die trying
K.R.S made stop the violence, and listen to my nine

these are questionable times
that leave young impressionable minds
hoping to find success pushing   dope on the grind

thinking all the pain would end if they became rich
but the harder they hustle the more pain and anguish
 
if we could understand the hustle
we would over stand the struggle
instead we constantly land back in trouble

on frivolous pursuits
searching for forbidden fruits
living lies until they collide with the moment of  truth

I been there and done that
played with fire and got burned as soon as my hand healed I'd run back

so young and misguided
mama said don’t do it I tried it
it's by God's grace I survived it

flash back to my youth I was so naive and timid
wondering  if that  path I walked on is the one the Lord intended
tired of getting beat by bullies so I learned to prevent it
but I found my self in front of the judge as a defendant

five times aquited of crimes that I committed
but the one time I was innocent is when I got convicted
justice may be blind, but she so vindictive
so I struggle with it
trying to make since out of the senseless


Details | Lyric | |

Betrayal at the Hand of the Protector

I grew up, watching you watching me. 
Does anyone hear my desperate pleas?
Can anyone hear my muffled screams?

Bite your tongue just to save face.
Respect lost, 
Trust decays.

Nothing in this world can satisfy the want to live, but the need to die. 
With each stroke, I feel alive. 
Instant rush, I’m feeling high. 

Bite your tongue just to save face.
Respect lost, 
Trust decays. 

Innocence gone. 
Now I’m left with these bloodstained hands. 
My will to live, buried in the sand next to the dead dreams of man. 

Your true colors shine like mirrors reflecting lights. 
Should have known better than to start a fight. 

Bite your tongue just to save face.
Respect lost, 
Trust decays.


Details | Lyric | |

Why me, cruel world, WHY ME?

Cruel, cruel world,
Why me?
I never hurt you,
Why must you hurt me?

When does it stop?
That tearing pain inside me.
Will it ever leave?
It's slowly driving me crazy.

This life will end,
But why must I wait?
Let me go now,
I want it to end!

Don't hold me here,
In pain that's so deep.
Take me away,
To a better place.

I want out,
I never wanted this.
Why should I live?
I don't want to be here!

You tear me apart,
You say to be strong.
I'm crackling and crumbling,
As I scream out in rage;

        WHY ME?


Details | Lyric | |

Midnight Confessions part 3 - a collaboration with Honcho Mars

V.3:
I smell the odor of remorse and hatred in the atmosphere...
Leaving me with scraps of terrifying fear
Waking up in the morning
With you under my sheets
Should I count you amongst the numbers?
Do you stand apart from the rest?
I must confess
Under tons of stress
Hiding this love
Like a thief in the night
I cried a river
In my heart, in my heart
Deliver…oh deliver
Me from temptation that’s been deceiving me from the start
I cried a river
In my heart, in my heart
We’ll be with each other forever and ever
Together, we won’t depart

Ch.:
I’m nothing to you…you came out of the blue
Living this lie…refusing my cries
Frozen inside and feeling kind of numb
I feel dumb…well, it’s a bummer…
Wiping away the pain 
Wiping away the tears
I ran because of fear
But I must spill the secrets
(I am here
Here I wait)x3
Here I stand…
I hope you understand…
I hope you can see…
I hope for you to see
To see what happens
When love is given
A second chance to bloom
In my heart
I slept for way too many hours
It empowers me – the thought of reaching out to you
Numb without you motivating me…
Don’t worry – it’s not over…

You can see my heart, you can feel my heart, 
Beating to the rhythm of yours
I will pass the test...take your time - I don't mind
I loathe the thought of losing you from the start
I'm left alone, doing countless chores
Here without you, I'm terrified, speechless & awfully blind


Details | ABC | |

dysfunctional

It’s my life not expecting you to understand it
A man who when he was a boy his mother abandoned
Alienated like I arrived from another planet
While you were with your family joking, laughing and eating a peanut butter sandwich
I was moved from foster families and children’s homes
Surrounded by people but feeling alone
 Everything I go through is some kind of building zone
Treated differently because I’m not wanted or loved by my dad, sister mum or brother
Feel like everyone trying to get to know me is working undercover
So the first thing I do is run for cover
Opposites attract I’m cold inside does that make me summer’s lover?
Being uncomfortable makes me comfortable
I feel safe being vulnerable
I’ll be the first to say I’m dysfunctional
Am I supposed to lie and say everything all great and wonderful?
Should I already understand and know it all?
You belittle me but I’m still growing tall
You wanted me to catch but you didn’t even throw the ball
An insomniac and I know Money can buy a bed but not sleep
But how much would a meaningful hug cost me?
I could wish and pray to the sky
But that’s just not me
Anytime love got me
It seems that Luck lost me
So I Push away the people I want to stay by my side
The ones who are worth your tears won’t make you cry
I could do 99 good deeds for you
But you would count the mistakes I make in life
So I don’t even try no more
I don’t cry no more
Love no one trust no one, **** them all
If you want to walk out my life. Here let me hold the door


Details | Lyric | |

THE NIGHT JESUS SAVED HER

November 27, still fresh in my mind. It was the year 1997, and the night my daughter died. Her daddy came home drunk that night, she had a cold and was laying in her crib. When she started to cry, I feared the worst, and worst did happen, and I was left all alone. Jesus saved her that night, from the pain and the suffering, but I was left without my daughter, and nobody to show me love. A tiny little baby, only four weeks old, did not have the chance to say "Good Bye!" She was so innocent, and knew of no faults. Just a small little soul, had no chance in this life. This year I will not be celebrating Hallow's Eve, this was her birthday, and the day I was happy my daughter came into my life. November 27th, was the day that she died, but it was also my birthday, and the day I wished I had died. Her daddy was sentenced to life in prison, no parole, and no chance of escape. My daughter will not be spending no holidays with me, and I will never hear "Happy Mother's Day, Mommy. I love you so much!" My birthday used to be special to me at one time, but to me it is only a dreaded memory of the death of my little angel. Jesus will show her daddy no mercy, cause an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth. With arms wide open, I run to the Lord, He feels my pain and He feels my sorrow. The flashbacks still haunt me of that dreary night, but I must learn to manage and learn to cope. My daughter may be dead within my mind, but in my heart, my daughter always lives.


Details | Lyric | |

Invisible Pain

Sometimes I cry
in the silence of night
from the pain deep inside 
which somehow I hide

Every day I pretend 
that I am just fine
I laugh and I smile
I bottle the fire

I want to explode
with so much emotion
instead I put on an act
while it implodes inside

There's too much to say
no way to explain
the feelings I have
they won't go away

Nobody knows
what's eating at me
I feel if I tell
no one will understand

This can't go on much longer
I have to release
the pain turns to anger
I need to scream

My brain just won't stop
I have the urge to run away
I want to forget my past
desperation fills my heart

All my thoughts are contradicting
letting go means forgetting
forgetting means being vulnerable 
being vulnerable means more pain

I don't want anyone to know
I'm so torn inside
I could so easily be broken
so I must not let anyone in

I always cry
in the silence of night
from the pain deep inside
which I no longer can hide


Details | Lyric | |

Hero whisperer...

This torment...
this courage
exposed...

I will be your
witness...

I surrender
this rose...

my soul feels
your pain...

my body exhausted
and drained...

I cannot weep...
for my strength
has surpassed...

this pillar I offer
a lifetime will last...

...for my wisdom to
you to your soul I speak...

...you are not alone...
let not your love 
lost in time of retreat...

...we find our truth...
in this pain - for it
is in pain it is ourselves
we complete...

a journey you need not
travel by oneself...

...hero whisperer is
the inner self...


Details | Lyric | |

The Gift

I never had the chance to look into your eyes,
I guess you felt so much pain that you tried to hide,
All this love I was to give, it hurt my heart you lived,
For just a little while, The Gift, my only child,
Wish I could take back every thought that was against you,
Felt like it was my fault, I was stressin, I had issues,
The tissue, keep it comin, My tears they steady runnin,
This aint no normal something, through loss Im steady hummin.
mmmh, mmmh, mmmh,
mmmh, mmmh, mmmh,
I only see you when I look at photographs,
You came with much pain so we never had some laughs,
I was trying to get ready for you, so I could be a better woman,
But instead my heart grew heavy because, my gift, took his lil' lovin,
I know you are not alone, so many have gone on,
But mommas strong, and daddies gone...
To you this is my song....


Details | Lyric | |

I Hate You Cancer

Dedicated to my Dad who lost his short battle w/ Colon Cancer on June 18,2013

I hate you Cancer
Your vile evil and cruel
You don't care who you hurt
I'll never forget that day
I'll always hate you for it

Your heartless Cancer
You took someone important from me
Someone important from others too
Took people who didn't belong to you
I hate you for it

You disgust me Cancer
You had no right to take him from me
He mattered more than my very own life
I hate you for taking my Daddy
I hate you for taking others too

I hate you with a passion Cancer
You took part of my heart with him
You took part of my soul that day too
I hate you for it
I hate you I hate you I hate you

I hate you with every fiber of my being 
Go back to Hell where you belong
I hate you, others hate you
Your not welcome or wanted here Cancer

I hate you more than his doctor's
I hate you more than God
I hope I get to witness that day
Witness the day you fall
And you will fall Cancer

You're gonna lose the battle one day Cancer
I'm gonna laugh and dance around your grave
You'll finally get what you deserve 
And you'll never be able to take another soul


Sabrina Niday Hansel


______________________________________________________________________
Placed 8th in Poet Destroyer A's  2013 "PINKTOBER" Contest

Please Support a Cure for Colon Cancer & every other type!









Details | Free verse | |

Generic Minds

generic minds listen to generic music
have generic thoughts that are unknowingly abusive
watch generic things talk about generic things
gee this generic *****is spreading like a disease
better get your flu shot 
thats what they said to me
a suicidal vaccine 
a subliminal killing spree
its contagious and the outrageous
thing about it is that the people are blind in an eye
that they didn't even know they had
it's sickening to watch these clueless civilians 
inside the looking glass
with nightmares of being free
without a key to their mind
for it is trapped in the frequency
in the illusion of time
bathed in our universe
killing all that refuse to see
those that admit to hypocracy
or see the message in hip hop
how cant you see
the message in the lyrics that
bring adolescents to their knees
from bullet wounds conflicting their flesh
contradicting that they're the best
but the songs keep telling them that they dont need no rest
that they dont wanna go home
that they should ride alone
with the gat as their only companion
and so the only path they choose is the one that they're told
until they grow old and hope turns to a window pane
inside a window pane, until all they feel is pain
they realize that the music itself is ashamed
so whats to look up to
when you cant even speak when you cant even walk because you look so bleak
your eyes are sunken from the tv you're infested with the dee zees
now its too late to turn around and live for your conscious
so when youre screaming oh please
close your eyes and bring your mind to life
open your eyes for the first time
and never wonder why
since the answer this entire time
has been inside
and you better find it before you die
you dont want your soul to be in a pool with all the others
a buncha brothers missing their mothers
but only seeing strangers
only feeling the haters
wishing they would have used their minds when they had them
and now its too late,
now it's time for another new born fate to grab them


Details | Lyric | |

Special

To capture the attention everyone else gets but you
You do whatever you can to get it
Even if its bad
You continue to do it
To get the attention you never had
And the attention you will never get
You want the perfect body and soul that everyone else has
You want to feel important... special
So you seek for a better
Much higher thing
What you need
You dont quite know
But you decide that
You will do whatever it takes to make you happy
And sometimes
That means..
suicide
Sometimes it means
Shooting someone
Because the hole inside your heart needs filled
And thats the only thing you ever had
The only thing you see
The only thing that someone gave to you
The thing that got everyone talking about you
The thing that got everyone to even look at you
So if you decide to kill someone
You kill yourself afterwards
Because you felt lonely again
You felt that no one was watching you
That no one even cared 
Then you think about all the things that 
Bugged you
And you pull the trigger
Then theres no more you
Next time someone sees you
You will be on the news
Where now you are special
And important


Details | Lyric | |

Everything You Can't Change

They say good comes to those who wait
But what if the wait is so hard it tears you apart, makes your heart stop
What if there's no light in the tunnel, no one to turn to
It's crazy how the heart can affect your whole life
Can't breathe, can't see, you're so blind
Love is patient, love is kind
It's all a lie
It eats away like a cancer at the thoughts in your mind
Distance makes the heart grow fond but time makes memories fade
They slip away, every day it's a race to get back to the place where you felt safe
Where your soul was enslaved by the one that can take away all the pain
Now you feel like you'll go insane without them right there in your face
You'd give it all to go back to that night where everything was alright
She's there by your side
Smooth skin on your lips, softest kiss
Hands on her hips, pure bliss
Now you sit alone with clenched fists as blood drips from your wrists
You're filled with shame
You must carry all the blame for everything you can't change
That's right, suppress the pain
Just shove it all down
No emotion, don't make a sound
The urge is still real, the scars will never heal
You can feel people's eyes burn holes into your skin
The battle within, you can't win
It's a disease that consumes your whole being
Warped thoughts that you've been having won't go away like magic
Defeat this tragic war
Battle on, you are a soldier
Put on that coat of armor and carry the blame no more


Details | Ballad | |

London

She called herself London
On that day 
She fell from the sky
Child of apple blossoms
Dancing wildly
Into your mind

The snake that hung from her neck
Bites your hand
Expels you from Eden
Tears into the cool flesh
Of your madness
Posing as reason

London
Kisses you like a sweet lover
As though she really cares
Lets you 
Taste the passionate orchard
In her body’s secret lair

London
Wrestles with all your demons
Nothing quite compares
To the pain 
The indecent pleasure
In the waters that you share

Her name was London
Call her London

She called herself London
On that night
She prayed to the moon
Apollo’s lyre
Played darkly
In a portent 
Of your own doom

The hell she hides 
In her soul
Toxic drug you’ll never escape
You crave the milk of her touch
Her strange and dangerous ways

London
Kisses you like a sweet lover
As though she really cares
Lets you 
Taste the passionate orchard
In her body’s secret lair

London
Wrestles with all your demons
Nothing quite compares
To the pain 
The indecent pleasure
In the waters that you share  

Her name was London
Call her London

My baby, London
Call her London
My moon-girl, London 
Call her London

I love her, London
Call her London
Forever, London 

I call her London……


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Concrete | |

DISTURBED CREATURE- Am I

A poem wrote by me, based on Person who is a deserving icon but still struggling hard with his career life and addressed as disturbed creature.

DISTURBED CREATURE--> Am I ??       BY Mrs.Madhavi Suyog Pagare

Am I so insane, Am I so mad,
Dramatic mood of mine is so die hard.
Destroyed my peace, Shattering my dreams,
People call me as disturbed creature.
As like mounting the pain, attenuating the drain!!

Digesting my feelings lying inside me,
Strangely nobody cared, call me sick.
Teasing me lavishly and my heart is pricked,
Hurted me like hell when addressed me as stupid.
As like showering rain, missing on the lane!!

Time lapse in journey of life,
Can hamper anybody on its path.
When I see innate reflex of mine,
I always use to brightly shine.
Though possessing every job attributes of mine,
I never thought the authorities will ditch and hamper my career line.
Falsely acting bloody swine, making my image as fade as wine.
As like affecting harmonious divine, my soul was, as is transparently pristine!!

Destroying me and testing my patience, Never wanna give up.
Transformed deviations, wanna rightly screw up.
I wanna raise up, I wanna shake up.
I wanna wake up, Tranquilize my mind.
Unzip the professional life compressed by the culprits.
Wanna explore myself, driving the motivated heights of journey.
Lastly waiting for the optimistic opportunity.
Cuffing the suspect ,I wanna rejoice by my pattern of life!! 

with Suyog Pagare


Details | Lyric | |

SHIPWRECKED

smiling on the outside

inside tears you cannot see

growing flood, a flowing tide

it's like i'm drowning in the sea..

shipwrecked by the storm in me!


*the day you left I started lying on the outside and dying on the inside. drowning in tears hidden behind my smile.

Sponsor: Black Eyed Susan
Contest Name: 5 lines or less 

4-2-14






Details | Rhyme | |

Black and White

You’ve maddened me to the core 
You singed me with your ferocious fire
We’re opposites… we’ll never integrate  
We can’t blend with each other…
Your love and I’m hate 
We’re contrary to each other…

So don’t even think about 
Getting us back together 
Because without a doubt, 
We don’t click with each other…

So let us go our own way…

Everything’s black and white
You love to torture me with your deceptive devices 
We’re playing this chess match – let’s fight!
Tonight, you’re going to pay the prices
You’re going to be deleted from my mind…

I’m not the one that should pay the price
You act as if you’re an angel from heaven
But, you’re a fiend…a devil from hell...who needs your advice?
Could someone unchain me from this prison?

So let us prepare for that day…

Fear and bewilderment build inside of our minds
Taking over us…we’re wasting valuable time
Terror and wrath injects into our veins…time starts to unwind 
I’m regaining my glory…this moment feels so sublime  

You think you’re innocent?
I can sense your guilt…bleeding through you
Do you live to feed me anguish? 
Don’t deny it…you crafty demon…no wonder I feel blue

Let’s get ready for battle…
I’ll watch you decay…
IT’S PAY BACK TIME . . .
Taste my fury and my agony 

Everything’s black and white
You love to torture me with your deceptive devices 
We’re playing this chess match – let’s fight!
Tonight, you’re going to pay the prices
You’re going to be defeated…

I scream before nightfall
I close my eyes to kiss my demise
I want to disappear 
Scratch away my desolation
Wipe away my tears…
Spewing out of my eyes…like a waterfall
Tonight, there will be dismay
There will be suffering 
After sundown…
Failure and glory will expose like stars in the midnight sky
Who will earn the crown? 
No one knows in silent wars – who can reveal the light in goodbye
  
Why are we black and white?
Are you too afraid to know the reason why? 

Everything’s black and white
You love to torture me with your deceptive devices 
We’re playing this chess match – let’s fight!
Tonight, you’re going to pay the prices
You’re going to suffer alone…


Details | Lyric | |

Lacerated Wings

They are bound to the Earth like trees
Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave 
Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen
Hoping that one day someone will see:
They can't escape with lacerated wings

The ocean surrounds me, covering everything
Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming
No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die
Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find
I can't escape with lacerated wings.

Swarms of nets, waves of screams 
Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams
The mask has be seared - The truth now they see
The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief
And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings

There's reasons for your rejections:
Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression
The scars are too deep to pass the trials
But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals
You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings


Details | Free verse | |

Glisten in the Moonlight

Your glorious emerald eyes 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Delight dances in the water
I watch it joyfully
You are set free from the cage...
You're like a dove soaring in the sky
You are the rain...
drizzling down in ecstasy 
A hint of ecstasy is shown in your reflection...
When you caress me... I'm relieved... 
From the stress that forced me in chains
I knew we'd be on the brighter side of tomorrow 
We're glistening in the moonlight 
I knew we'd become candles in the heavens above us
We're glistening in the moonlight
For a moment, I felt your presence...your radiant with sympathy 
I saw at first glance the dark side of you
Tonight, we'll be together and fly through the horizon 
We'll watch the sunset say its last goodbye...
We'll wave a greeting at the moon! 
We glisten in the moonlight...
What if I was as handsome as the lion...
Roaring with pride and pure courage
What if we were glistening in the moonlight?
Would it bring health to our bones tonight?
Would it make our heart rejoice and overflow with delight?
Would we be able to survive this horrifying plight?
Would we be shimmering like a candlelight?
We're glistening in the moonlight... (6)
Ohh...yeah...ooh yeah...ooh yeahh...
We reach to the stars and hope we can trace a shooting star
I feel the coolness run down my fingers...
We're glistening in the moonlight
You're the dandelions in the fields
You're the gorgeous view that I marvel at everyday
When you kiss me, I live my dreams
We glisten in the moonlight
In a quick moment, I sense a feeling of endless renewal 
I roam inside of your illuminating maze 
Glow on... sunshine... 
Glow on...sunshine...
Glisten in the moonlight...
Listen to the truth and rub it in
You are ravishing like the sunset
But you're ascending while I'm descending
I feel extremely guilty
I wish I could glisten with you in the moonlight
You're glistening in the moonlight (6) 
Ohhh yeahh... oohhh yeahh... ohh yeahh
You're glistening in the moonlight (4)
We go our own way
I wish we can glisten like the moon
Glisten like the sun 
There's a dream concealed inside of me...
Reveal your light and pour it upon me
You glisten in the appealing moonlight
While I'm subsiding... you're fulfilling your dreams
Of gliding across the horizon 
You're independence... keeps on scorching with satisfaction
While I'm below you... 
Your emerald green eyes
Stared me down like a hawk...
Your emerald eyes
Gaze down at me genuinely...
I wish we could flee together in reality...
That could be a possibility
To glisten in the moonlight in glee
We were glistening in the moonlight (3)
But that was only a dream...
I'll pray that it turns into a reality
We were glistening in the moonlight 
Now, I've misplaced my delight...
Will I ever experience such a brilliant night?


Details | Lyric | |

When It Comes to Faith

When it comes to faith, even pain is a pleasure
It is just about right in every one of its measures
Come please. Join me.
Let’s just say it’s some sort of leisure
Forget all that nonsense about it being 
“A Golden Treasure”
Clichéd exactly like the many notions of 
Happiness, peace, love, religion…
Have all our principles been systematically configured?
Come please. Join me.
For I have been alone in this constant endeavor 
Need some fresh air? Come…
 And we shall breathe in this lovely weather
Suffocation. Panorama of turning backs.
It needn’t even the slightest conjecture
Come. I insist though.
For they always say there’s this light somewhere
In between the darkness
I therefore mustn’t censure
Aren’t we after all in this together?

Walk down this path
I can so simply say it’s better
Realm of faith...
Peace forever...
Yeah I can hear you saying “Whatever”
Apathy how dare you sever
These souls from these futile bodies
Forever?
Come though. I still insist despite all that.
For when it comes to faith, even this pain is a pleasure.


Details | Free verse | |

Giving In To The Gray

Overwhelmed with fear I whispered into the rain
Disarming defenses, Giving in to the gray 
Tearing down all of my shelter within my hollowed decay
While this echoing silence gave every tear drop a name
They begin filling the voids with mundane hopes for a change
Heaven will save me from this hell and blue skies will reign
Lazily lay in green grass watching clouds drift away
It's all but a deflated dream now that the colors have changed
My thoughts have become restless noise of uncertainties rearranged
Damning all of my emotions, lies decorated with grace
Now I stand with a hardened heart in the sobering autumn rain 
I'm disarmed and defenseless, Giving in to the gray


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: III

Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?


Details | Lyric | |

Hurting Once Again

Lord, you know that I've been hurting.
Momma says it's growing pains.
Oh, you know that I've been hurting
Momma says it's growing pains.
Here I am a hurting, yes I'm hurting once again.

Well, I've been down to the river; 
Lord, I went down there feeling fine.
Yes, I went down to the river; 
Lawd, I went down there feeling fine.
But before I knew it, I was sitting there a crying.

Momma. said,"It just ain't easy.
Life's not always what it seems.
Momma said, "It just ain't easy.
Life's not always what it seems.
She said, 'You're just a poor girl with some crazy, mixed-up dreams'.' 



Details | Lyric | |

Stepping Stone Soldiers

Our frozen bones,
have drifted far from home,
most of our days,
were paved with stepping stones,
set in our ways,
we left it all long ago,
buried alive,
under those stepping stones.

We can’t go back,
no matter how much pain,
there’s no escape,
just days and nights of rain,
long distance calls,
unanswered telephones,
the hidden cost of
lives built with stepping stones.

You can't take it back, but don’t be afraid,
we’ll build something good with your broken remains.
Stepping stone soldiers, lay down your bones,
we’ll scatter what’s left in those fields that you made.
Stepping stone soldiers, cold and alone,
soon you'll be buried in a stepping stone grave.


Details | Lyric | |

WHISKEY LULLABY

written 17th Sept 2013


             "WHISKEY LULLABY"
                          sung by Brad Paisley and Alason Krass

Just married, he loved his new wife,more than anyone saw
 a day after they where married, he got drafted off to war
Overjoyed to finally return home to his bride
 he walked in, to find she was in bed with another man
With just a slight second, his heart died
 pain overwhelmed his entire soul, he picked up a drink
And started to drink more every day, to try to forget
 as time passed, he drank himself to death, with a note "I'll love her till I die
they buried him beneath the willow, as she watched she filled her soul with regret 
 left to blame herself, she began to drink his memory away
As years passed she slowly drank her pain away
 they found her next to his grave, holding his picture as she passed away
They buried her beneath the willow, and they were together again
 and the angles sang a whisky lullaby
So when you find your one true love, be faithful and true
 for no amount of alcohol will mend a broken heart for whatever you do!
 

 I chose this song for my mother and my father both became alcoholics after they separated and my father passed away at the age of 42years old, my mother still lives but never stopped drinking she will be 58 years old she took off with his best friend from the age of 12yrs old


Details | Free verse | |

Words of Life

Drowning in the pool of anguish…oh…oh…
I’m venturing into the forest…and I want to hear the words seep out 
Release these aching sorrows…I worry my soul’s drying out…
like a drought…
Drain out the fluids from my heart
It’s gouging me…bruising me to the core…

**chorus** 
Embrace the light…embrace the midnight sky…
You fall in my arms – you die so warm
Shed me more sun to lift up my spirits
From the…underground…and release me – I’m breathless
I’m drowning in doubt…ooh… oh… 


Remember me…I’m falling…into my swirling fate…hanging on the roots 
Strangling my heart…distorting in my veins… I’m bleeding so softly – cut out the wood…
Splintering me…I’m shattering… and I’m falling in the abyss
Bring me more radiance from my candle light
Warp me up in bliss…don’t let the midnight sky…don’t take away my delight
From the…ocean…and save me—save me…oh… oh…  I’m failing 

*chorus*

I’m drowning in regret…ooh..oh…
Hit the bull’s eye in my heart…embrace the light
And don’t leave me hanging in the abyss…hand me a kite!
Save me before I fall apart…shut out the night
And don’t let the dusk escape us…

I must confess…
I must confess…
I hate to see you abandon the light…
But I’m not the one to save you from the night
Ooh…ohh…

*Chorus* 

Splintering lies fill your heart 
I want to kiss it goodbye…
But you’ve mastered it like a piece of art
I want to kiss the abyss and die…
Dry… I wanna touch the sky with my whole soul
But I’m failing and the end of time has taken its toll
Tainted sorrow…swims around me…I dwell where the waters depart
But the anguish still swarms in my heart…
I’m failing…my heart stops beating
And my desires are fleeting
From my grasp
And the monsters laugh at me…as I fall… 

*chorus*

Embrace the midnight sky…catch me…catch me…
As I fall in death’s arms…I die so cold
And your heart is made of gold

Untangle the darkness & take away the nightmares 
Answer our prayers & block out the night 
Erase the heartaches & wipe away our tears
Unravel Your words of life & delight


Details | I do not know? | |

'Little bird, what troubles thee'

Little bird, what ails thee
      is it the bread in your belly
little bird, what troubles thee
      is it the bread of misery

is it the bitterness in your heart, 
     or the offense you can't forgive
is it the anguish that sets you apart, 
     or the hurt that holds you captive 
 
is it the cancer of bitter love, 
     or the loss of deserved affection 
is it the cruel withdrawal of 
     his tenderness and compassion 

life is much too brief
      and youthful love's even briefer still,
your forestalled relief 
      keeps you from seeing His eternal will

what befalls you 
      is neither unshared nor a mystery
God sheds tears for you
      in the midst of your painful agony

little bird, what ails thee
      is it the bread in your belly
little bird, what troubles thee
      is it the bane of misery


Details | Lyric | |

Silver Ships

Written May 31, 2013


The sun does rise
Over silver ships sailing in the sky
Rain on down on our parade
In a concrete jungle
The kids come out to play
Masked by this dreadful masquerade

A cosmic dance where stars collide
The kids and parents run to hide
Shelter from the enemy above
Who light up the sky with lightning bugs

The land is dark and the sky is black
Mothers pray the birds will not come back
Be it by barren land or vicious sea
Lord just hear our plea

The sun does rise
Over silver ships sailing in the sky
Rain on down on our parade
In a concrete jungle
The kids come out to play
Masked by this dreadful masquerade


Details | Lyric | |

It's Not Over

Don’t say it’s all over (cause it’s not)
“Sorry” won’t cover it…so don’t go on your knees and pray for my forgiveness 
Oh baby…don’t listen to the commotion…I’m done taking cover (it’s all for naught)
I’m plummeting in slow motion…into the remorseful pit…I’m plummeting in my nightmare’s abyss

I want to carry you through the night… 
I’m swimming in the ocean of my tears… 
My sodden wings lost its ability of flight…
You've been swimming in your distress for years… 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

I want to remind you to fight the good fight…
My misery pools are brewing inside of my head…
I’m backing away from the light & exploring the night… 
You’re giving in to sleep and I’m wide awake on my bed 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

Please don’t tell me…oh, don’t tell me…darling!
You’re giving up today… (I beg you to stay, despite your inner pain) 
I’m scared I might erupt – it could be quite startling!
Someday, things will change for the better… (Don’t turn the wrong lane)
I’m waiting for that day to arrive – perhaps it will wash away our dismay…

I promise you a tranquil reality 
I want to stray with you tonight 
I still have hope that He’ll set us free
I was wondering if you could stay the night
Maybe the Lord could grant us 
Pure, incredible delight 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we've plunged into our own pit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to gather…


Details | Lyric | |

Radiant smile

I can remember that day…like it was just yesterday. The pain inside, was too much to 
bear. As they lowered you in the ground, my world came a crashing down. No more 
would I ever see your radiant smile. That day is still a blur…as I drank the night away. 
Hoping it was all just a dream? But, reality came around and my emotions broke me 
down…and it all came a crashing down. It took me by surprise as those tears filled my 
eyes. My drink became a salty river of tears…I can still hear the Reverends last words 
as he commended your body to the earth. I was around town feeling sorry for myself, 
my emotions were coming down…I could still he his words as he commended you to the 
earth, but my heart couldn’t let you go. As they held me back from jumping in your 
grave…the emotions started to fill my soul, I was around town feeling so sorry for 
myself. Try to drown my pain with whiskey and beer…but those emotions came a 
tumbling down. As my drink became a salty river of tears, no more…no more…would I 
ever hear your laughter, that seemed as though it could fill the ever after. Later that 
night as I lay down to sleep, I reached over to that empty spot where you use to be…I 
swear I could almost hear you say, “ Dry your tears, someday we will be back together 
as we laugh together in this life here after…so weep no more. I’ll see you on the other 
side.” As I closed my eyes, the pain began to subside…I knew one day soon I’d get to 
see your radiant smile and hear your laughter.


Details | Lyric | |

Chasing A Dream

To what end can I chase a dream
You know it would seem 
To be insane…………
Never knowing what's real but still feeling the pain

I can reach for the flowers in bloom 
But they're all consumed
The fires' to deep - I just wish I could sleep

I look to the moon for answers but she just smiles
I don't have a clue - I've got too many miles

To what end can I chase a dream 
You know it would seem 
To be insane…………
Never knowing what's real but still feeling the pain

I cry out in the night - but the echo hurts me
It breaks me down into broken dreams
I run for the door but its no longer open - to me
I cover my eyes...... but still I can see

To what end can I chase a dream 
You know it would seem 
To be insane…………
Never knowing what's real but still feeling the pain

©2013C.L.Baker


Details | Lyric | |

Last Night In Bed


In bed, I confessed the most 
agonizing pain ever hidden 
I kept it for so many years

whirling through my head
and guised as laughter 
for all to see, but I couldn’t beam 
with pride at having not 

outperformed my weakness
You were not asleep 
and I found a chance to spill it out 
from my chest to yours 

that I could put it to rest
Soon, silence fell against our will, 
but I did understand a thing
The pain has been released, 

shared for the very first time
Ah, I never remembered how 
tearful I was last night 
and who cares? I don't, ‘cause... 

you were accenting, 
warm and a good listener 
rightly suits a troubled son


Details | Lyric | |

Cliff Hanger

I don't want to know what you think of me
Am I your hero or am I you misery
Every step I take is another reminder
That you're nothing but my biggest desire

Spent all day setting up a picnic for two
Ended up sitting alone downing my booze
How could I had thought we were meant to be
You did nothing but infect this perfect reality

Abandon all ships for the sake of love
The last thing I want is a plus one with her drug
On the edge of the no named rye cliff
Is where my heart belongs on this trip

I'm as useless as a horse with no legs
What else is new, I'm just like a needle in the hay
I've held on to your words of the past
I guess it's true that the nice guy finishes last

We talked and we walked in the prairie of life
You were a reason that I wanted to get lost
I could taste the poison from the human mind
You were the only one that could spin me blind

Tomorrow is the day I would feel alive
But that's a nice memory that will pass me by
I'll never have the joy or smile
What's this game?, I'll be gone for awhile

I wonder if I'm running through your thoughts
Turning the pages without the power to stop
I'm running away from everything I've known
All you have to know is that I'm better off on my own


Details | Lyric | |

It Just Ain't There

I whisper to the snails
Who’d sooner die much less fail
There’s nothing left inside those eyes
As tears drop into pails

The light is warm but I can’t touch it
Till I pay the rent
But the man is hollering back at me
With just too much demand

But as I look up to the sky
The helicopter’s still there
Constantly judging me
A supersonic glare
And I know that we can’t win
We’re fighting for a freedom
That we know just ain’t there

I whisper to the men 
Who’d sooner die much less fail
There’s nothing left inside your eyes
As tears drop into pails

The light is warm but you can’t touch it
Till you pay the rent
The man is hollering back at you
With just too much demand.


Details | Lyric | |

No More Hallelujah

My love for you will never fade You locked the door; my bed I’ve made A face in the crowd reminds me: so you The smile at tilt; the voice that lilt The auburn hair; the skin so fair My tender heart skips a beat: Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Your eyes held mine, a magic spell The pain I felt was a pleasing hell No one could e'ver compare to you You touched my face with your hand The time all round came to a stand From my soul I moaned: Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Love’s tender touch now in the past Around I’d see: Nothing e'er last The things I did could’ve blew’ you The cars I drove at such high speed The fast life our friends would lead We did not understand the Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah I tempted you with a bit of *snow You didn’t at first want to know If y' didn’t know how I’d show you The surreal dream showed on your face Everything moved at a faster pace You shouted my name: Hallelujah! Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah You pulled away then from me I was begging for you please to see What this was doing to us; to you All that mattered was the crave Your life given over to a rave You’ve shut me out in this Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Your beauty faded before my eyes The pain you caused with all your lies I couldn’t bear to see what we did to you Your dreams had fallen and paranoid The reality, now null and void A syringe, your only Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah On our true love I will always dine To’ve turned back to another time To happy times I loved and knew you For bringing you into this ruin Sorry! This was all my doin’ For me there will be no more Hallelujah.
NO MORE HALLELUJAH, © 17 January 2013 Suzette Crous *snow: slang for cocaine Inspired by the song HALLELUJAH copyright © Leonard Cohen Lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/leonardcohen/hallelujah.html "You say I took the name in vain I don't even know the name But if I did, well, really, what's it to you? There's a blaze of light in every word It doesn't matter which you heard The holy or the broken Hallelujah" >b>Sung by ALEXANDRA BURKE (If this does not move you, check your pulse...): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSgsW9GLerA (X Factor winner) and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQpod0tKOfE (at the Royal Albert Hall, London) For those who can play guitar: "Hallelujah chords best version":- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jN6qD45gtA For Frank H's Contest: Hallelujah 17 January 2012


Details | Lyric | |

Darkness Your Fear

Darkness You Fear
An Original by IzaDonna

I look at you and I see myself
Hatred bubbling between us
Can't change the past or stop the pain
Just want to be whole again
Sex and drugs are what consumes you
You slip away into the haze of the past
And I can't keep waiting
To see how long this lasts

Chorus
So I scream into the night
The fire burns within me
I have to find a release from you
Cause if I don't I'll fall into blackness
Tears stream down my face
As I hold back my dying rage
You were once in a lifetime

You laugh and smirk its all a big joke
The ultimatum is what you have come to wrote
The knife in my heart is getting deeper
And it burns with eternal flame
If I don't get away, this pain will never stop
You are the one to f**king blame

Chorus

So I stop all the fighting
I let myself fall into darkness
The voices in my head stops
I'm in need of an intervenltion from you
All I see is a dark cold world
The pain I feel is slowly releasing
And I become the darkness you fear

Chorus X2


Details | Rhyme | |

Living Without

I tried to write about love but I haven’t felt it. 
I tried to write about the sea but I’ve never seen it. 
Then I tried to write about the air, but I have never breathed it. 
I tried to write about magic but I never believed it.
I couldn’t write about god, all I have ever done is sinned.
And when I tried to write about life I found, 
I have never really lived.


Details | Rhyme | |

SCARY 1

Try me, fool, and the semi gon' bang
I'm a big dog, I gotta' let my nuts hang
If I go to jail, best believe I'm bonding out
I always handle beef, that's what I'm all about
I'm not a punk, somebody lied--
I'm bustin' shots, let's get that fixed

Sleep on me, see me in ya' worst nightmares

I'm Hell-raiser, dead fresh in some Nike-Airs

Or in a monkey suit, totin' something with a banana clip

Leave you wet, like dry lips after applying Chap-stick

Ain't talking 'bout a blunt, but I rolled-up

I'm gon' wet these fools, hope they don't mold-up

When it go down, I go ape-shit, bananas

put coward to sleep, without the pajamas

Keep bustin' shots, like pimples on a maturing teen

I do my dirt, but leave the crime scene clean

Stay fresh, but they always call me grimy

They say I'm too gangsta', so they won't sign me

I put in work, man, I'm clockin' in overtime

Haters faces looking sour, like they suckin' on lime

You got beef, well guess what, that's all I eat

I stand my ground, you just sit in your seat

Can't let fools run me over, I'm not a roadkill

Leave you in the streets leakin', looking like an oil spill

You got a problem, I know how'tta' get that solved

Apply pressure, let's not get ya' family involved


Details | Lyric | |

No more left

No more left

 

I’ve wrote much than once
Fonts tears and love
And little…just a little comfort
I’ve locked in your eyes
For one look for one part of pain

I’ve made scandalous picture
In white letter words
One second dream
And little…just a little smiling
For myself and misfortune

I’ve kissed your distances
Thousand and hundred days
Still we didn’t made pain
Untold love and tears
Thousand and hundred night’s I’ve seen
Leaving into mix cure stars

I’ve been on earth moment more
Wouldn’t had why and how
You haven’t learn alphabet of pain
Give the name to love and don’t forget
Let me be a faboul of stoun
Dust under your legs

I’ve been one time and many time
In one pain time
In one life reception equality with death
Has been songs and words
And little…o God how much
Autumn in my life

I’ve touched your eyes and pain eyes
Words and tear and love
And…today and tomorrow day
My thaw and doorstep spring
In middle of flower strings cinders of remembrance
And anything and no more
No waiting for and words, no tears and love
No more left


Details | Rhyme | |

Death by Beauty

A smile moves across her lips
She gazes at her crime
A scar across her flesh and soul
To haunt her for all time
She’ll waste away for all she cares
Never stops to use her brain
Doesn’t care about the ones who are close
All she cares about is pain

She wants to be what the others expect of her
Doesn’t care about the self-respect for her
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Can’t she see what all she has got
Already?

Never to go back again
She feels the world is at an end
She will never show her grief
Although she’ll cry in empty streetS

She’d sooner live like a desolate mole
Living in fear in an empty hole
Screaming silent wails alone
Content to live in her mental home

A final tear falls from her eye
It hits the ground, it’s followed by
A beautiful body, mutated by hate
A kind word could have stopped it, but it is too late
One two many bricks in the wall in her mind
Molding her demise because her heart was blind
This self conscious being could never have won
For she was destroyed by the beautiful ones

She wouldn’t fight back, wouldn’t respect herself
In the end, she managed only to wreck herself
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Little did she know, she had all she had sought
Already


Details | Lyric | |

Save Me

Save Me
By: IzaDonna

Look in the mirror
Do you recognize her
Do you see the coldness in her eyes
Do you see where the darkness lies
Hidden secrets of the past
To late, the spells been cast
And as the stars arise
My own self will be my demise

Chorus:
So you think you can save me
Finally set my retched soul free
Be my ultimate savior
You thinking ur doing me a favor
But just let me alone
My fate is only my own

I get u try and u care
But thru it all u weren't there
I cant move on from my past
The agony I feel will always last
The knife is in way to deep
So let me shut my eyes and sleep
Cause u can't fix whats already broken
The pain I feel is better left unspoken

Chorus

So as the darkness creeps in
I feel I'm paying for my sins
No way to escape
My soul is yours to take
Just let me bleed these tears
Just let me lay here
Looking up at the sky
I ask God why

Chorus

Cause you can't fix what isn't broken
The pain is better left unspoken


Details | Lyric | |

Dark Africa

Mystery
They say it is
The land of wonderful Africa
Where dreams shatter to tears
Souls lost as water of sweat
Our landmarks bordered by wars
We cry to our so blessed destiny
Yet we worship to feed our motherland
The rich land of resources
Basins potent per world fill
When shall we be free oh Africa
When shall we love ourselves?
Our honor we bury in mass with the souls we take
Our streets we fill with blood of innocent mothers
Tension heightened in our political system
Our entire land host chaos
Yet we claim world provider
So why not feed ourselves
Rather than killing ourselves
Breathing gunshots as they blare our skies
So cursed not for freedom
We scream everyday
Yet we are blessed with no disaster
We have killed our bird
And replaced it with a bat
Where are our brave democratic leaders?
Where are the men
To stand up to this bitter trial
And restore the land before our fatal exploitation


Details | Lyric | |

Welcome to the Planet

Welcome to the planet
Wake me when it’s over
The dreamer’s always tempted
To come around and show her

And I just keep wastin my time
On girls that won’t love, me, like their wine
And it’s just too easy to blame
The rock and the system for causing my pain
And I just want you to know that I’m through
With being alone, when I’m with you 
And when you mask the truth with your lies
It just won’t get any better for the rest of your guys

And when you fall asleep
The night covers your tears
And the darkness sees you weeping
Cause your conscious can’t be cleared
This year you’re feeling colder
Your heart’s a little older
You haven’t found your soul mate
And now you think you’re too late

But one look inside of my eyes
Gives you the hope that there’s a guy
Who can make you feel happy and sad
And it’ll be worth it to feel that again


Details | Lyric | |

in the shadow of doubt

in the shadow of doubt I lurk
in the shadow of doubt I stir
in the shadow of doubts my thoughts reside
Phantoms of possibilities revive in the night
Wild wonderings make my soul sprint in fright
The self conceals itself and takes flight
the mind untamed and free
free to reflect, free to settle
And I stand apart from it
For in the shadow of doubt
Is when my mind is unbound nourished by the doubt


Details | Ballad | |

Isolation

How can I tell you?
I can't stay with you.

Neither I can give up on you.
Fear of losing you is losing me.
It feels like slow death every night.

But we are just stuck in our spaces!
Unable to connect from two feet distance.


Details | Rhyme | |

STRIVE 1

Life is hard, tough, rough, like a brilo-pad
Growing up, street smart was all I had
I had no choice but to turn to the hood
It's difficult trying to change for the good
What do you do when there's nowhere to turn?
Before you decide, look back, what did you learn?

Try to survive, I'm gon' do the same

Stuck in this world, heart full of pain

Money cover evil, trying to stay sane

Cash keeps flowing, like blood to the brain

Rappin' ain't like hustling, it's a whole different game

came through a struggle, my ankle got a sprain

Haters don't care, nobody gon' look out

Everybody's grillin', but this ain't a cookout

Bullets keep flyin', that's what the scare's about

Life's rough, like the stuff between tile, grout

The hood's full of hate, what happened to love

Too many little misfits, like a tiny glove

Put haters in dirt, that's what I call gardenin'

My heart's colder than water, when it starts hardenin'

Call me care-free, I ain't got no worries

Life don't always end well, like fairy-tale stories
 


Details | Lyric | |

Despondance

Here without you I feel so numb
Left out in the cold
To walk alone
The broken seams of reality
Would you miss me if I were gone
Or was I never good enough
Mmm I’ll take the shame
Drown me in all your pain

Blame it all on me
I’m just your pins and needles
Being used and abused
And then thrown away
and it's all my fault
Nothing was ever good enough
Good enough I'm not good enough
I was never good enough

The death of you leaves me breathless
If it were only real
But I'm just stumbling around this dream of reality
Waiting for the rain
Hoping for the rain
To wash away the pain
Erase away the shame
But it'll never be good enough

Just blame it all on me
I’m only your pins and needles
Being used and abused
Surrounded by your cancer of lies
Drenched in silence never-ending
And it's all my fault
Nothing is ever good enough
Good enough I'm not good enough
I was never good enough

Weighted so deeply with pain
I’m so sorry.... I disappointed you
Alone and cold I sing my lamentations
Where in the shadows I’m safe I'm free...still I take the pain
I wanted to save you from the dark
But I cannot stay where I don't belong

Still you blame it all on me
I’m just your pins and needles
To be used and and abused
And then washed away
Left alone...empty and forgotten
And it's all my fault
Nothing is ever good enough
Good enough I'm not good enough
I was never good enough
Never good enough


Details | Lyric | |

I'd Do Anything: Our Bond of Friendship

I regret using you like a futile tool...
I'm feeling the remorse 
replaying over and over again..

I'd do anything...for you
I'd sacrifice my life...for you
I could hike Mount Everest...for you
I'd lift up your weeping spirits...for you
I'd walk on hot coals...for you
I'd do the impossible...for you
It's true...
I'm positively sure that 
I love you...
I'd give up my life...for you
You still don't have a clue,
Do you?

I'm glad you accepted my apology once more

I promise I won't break our bond of friendship

You make me feel perfect deep inside...
Trust me - I didn't mean to make you cry...
You make me feel at ease while we go along with the ride
You help me gain more strength 
You make me satisfied with your mirth 
You make my once broken, wingless spirit 
soar .                               .                      .                   .                                 .                    .
 .                     .                              .                                                           . 
                                     .                                        .                                      .                     .        .                         .                           .                                         .                                     .

I'd do anything...for you
I'd sacrifice my life...for you
I could hike Mount Everest...for you
I'd repair your dreams...for you
I'd walk on hot coals...for you
I'd do the impossible...for you
It's true...
I'm positively sure that 
I love you...
I'd give up my life...for you
You still don't have a clue,
Do you?

You make my spirit soar anew...


Details | Lyric | |

Scarlet Moons and Indian Suns

Written August 29, 2013


She could have had my son
As we'd spell our names as one
On scattered ocean shores
Beneath that Indian sun

I loved my ma
And I loved her well
I loved my pa
And that musty smell

I hope to see them some day soon
I hope to see them smiling too
This Earth they left a bit too soon
Much thanks unto the scarlet moon

Some day well all be joined as one
Under scarlet moons and Indian suns

I love my family
How I miss this feeling
Of constant embrace
Awaiting at my feet

So come and pray for rain
To wash away our pain
Before the winter stains
What autumn left to drain

I hope to see them some day soon
I hope to see them smiling too
This Earth they left a bit too soon
Much thanks unto the scarlet moon

Some day well all be joined as one
Under scarlet moons and Indian suns


Details | Lyric | |

Your Betrayal

I wish that I' had ESP, I would have known right from the start
The things that I found out too late, that finally pulled us apart
What I found out too late, that I should have heard from you
There was another in your life and she had been there from the start
All the times that we'd been out since that night that we had met
I did not have a clue that there was someone else in your life
Finally, I found out for myself, that put a knife right in my heart
I found this woman's name was Anne and in fact, she was your wife

I felt that I could trust you then, I was so sure that I was right
You made me feel good about myself and made everything seem bright
You always knew what to say, the words you used were very nice
You had a way of doing things that always turned out right
We had rides out to the country, and went out to the County Fair
I felt that you had fallen for me,and that you really cared
Until the day came along when you caused me so much pain
A day that I never want to be repeated in my life again

If I could get back at you for all the pain that you have caused
I would be so happy that I could again start to enjoy my life
The way that I should have lived it, without all this pain and strife 
You could have saved me so much pain, if you had said you had a wife
Now I have found a way to erase the pain that you have caused
Because love found me and showed me how to love again once more
I can't wait now to start again in this new and exciting life.
A man has just proposed to me and asked me"will you be my wife?"

This proves to me there always is a way to turn things all around
That gives you back the will to live again and purpose in your life
When you've almost given up on life and things really get you down
You feel that there is no more fun in life for you that can be found
So everyday now, try to change the thoughts that you had before
Give yourself a chance to let love again come through your door
One day soon,someone you'll see will again bring love to your life
They will take you by the hand and ask you to be their wife.


Details | Rhyme | |

SCARY 2

Try me, fool, and the semi gon' bang
I'm a big dog, I gotta' let my nuts hang
If I go to jail, best believe I'm bonding out
I always handle beef, that's what I'm all about
I'm not a punk, somebody lied--
I'm bustin' shots, let's get that fixed

I keep it 100, like whole-numbers, no fraction

You're a toy, all looks but no action

So much beef, I can open up a diner

Catch me underground, call me a miner

I keep it real, you haters is processed

To the streets I'm a god, bow down, get blessed

I got rank, like a zebra, I got stripes

Diggin' in ya' chest, you know pressure bust pipes

Got heat, I'm like an Arab with no turban

Shots burn your chest, like drinking Burbon

I cock my tool as they approach, get ready

Make sure you're on point, and hold it steady

When they get near, that trigger get a pull

Give straight head shots, it's an unspoken rule

Shots rang out, like the bells of Notre-Dame

I was long gone, before the law even came


Details | Lyric | |

Here Is Gone

Ever thought of something so much
That when you wake up it just automatically
Crawls into your brain cells
Shoots them with laser beams
Until they explode 
And that’s the only thing you have left to think of
Because everything else is fried
Ever wish you could go back and change that night
Wish that you wouldn’t have left her side
That you would have just listened to your heart 
Instead of your gut
Instead of that little voice that echoes
In the back of your head
Ever wished that you wouldn’t be reading this poem
That everything could be like your dreams
Like a family who gets along
Like having a famous relative
Dreaming that you had a better life
More money to spend
More bass guitars to buy
Less drama
Then you find this special someone
Who you can really relate to
And you never want to let them go
But somehow they slip through your fingers
Then your life crumbles 
Falling down like the rain in a thunderstorm
Wishing you could change everything
But you just start over
And try to move on
And somehow end up at the beginning all over again



Details | Lyric | |

Broken Glass

Do you hear the horn of the train? 
And the pitter patter of rain?
Listen close do you hear a sound?
Only silence, will she be found?

Who is fragile, who is of strength
How can one know another’s length?
Blind to the mask which hides her tears
Binding her to demons and fears
A fake light remains as she falls
Even while her broken heart stalls
Darkness commences in her soul
Blood loss spirals out of control
What an alluring crimson paint
Overworked artist starts to faint 

Do you hear the horn of the train? 
And the pitter patter of rain?
Listen close do you hear a sound?
Only silence, will she be found?

Why do some dance falsely with death? 
Unable to force their last breath
Her unspoken words of pureness
Soaked deeply in her loneliness
The jagged line of her escape
Leaves the unsuspecting agape
Drawn up on the median vein 
Just a few more moments of pain
Eyes flutter and seconds pass
Then gently falls the broken glass

Do you hear the horn of the train? 
And the pitter patter of rain?
Listen close do you hear a sound?
Only silence, will she be found?
Then gently falls the broken glass






Details | Lyric | |

I CAN'T BREATHE

Grandma's stealing bread
Just another day on the street
Children need to be fed
Obey the law and they won't eat
In the 'burbs it's just a show
Or something on late night news
For me it's life or death
And the odds are I'm gonna lose

Oh, I've been crying I can't breathe
Daily sirens drown out my shouts
This crisis didn't happen in a day
I'm in a hole with no way out

Do you sense that I'm not alone
There are millions just like me
Poverty's reach is still unknown 
A rising storm out on the sea
Prevention too long ignored
Expect the police to be a cure
Knock that sinner to the floor
Yeah he died but he was impure

Oh, I died crying I can't breathe
Daily sirens drowned out my shouts
This crisis didn't happen in a day
I was in a hole with no way out

12-11-14


Details | Rhyme | |

STRIVE 2

Life is hard, tough, rough, like a brilo-pad
Growing up, street smart was all I had
I had no choice but to turn to the hood
It's difficult trying to change for the good
What do you do when there's nowhere to turn?
Before you decide, look back, what did you learn?

Out-of-control, like an untamed beast

If I should fall, I'm gon' rise like yeast

Got the game in submission, fools better tap-out

On the road to success, ya'll on a different route

I'm shootin' up haters, more than a heroin addict

Ain't talking 'bout electricity, but it helps prevent static

Like a ship's anchor, I'm gon' hold it down

No matter the outcome, I'ma' stand my ground

I tried turning right, but end up going left

Already living in hell, so what's worst after death

Fast life, gotta' slow down, like I'm in a school zone

Made amends with people I ripped off, like clothes being sown

Searching life's meaning, can't find it in the dictionary

Gotta' change, or end up caged like a canary

Got a pocket full of green, like a bowl filled with lettuce

Satisfied, 'bout to end my run, so roll-the-credits


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Just Push Them All Away

Just push them all away
Just push them all away
Every morning I awake I wear this smile that I must fake
I’ve made to many mistakes
Letting people get close just to suffer another heart break
And just to see I’m all alone
And now I see I am all alone
Course:
People come and people go
No one ever wants to stay
So it’s better to push them all away
Just push them all away
Just push them all away
Just push them all away
I feel the pain is closing in
Stabbing me like a knife again and again
Making me wonder why I try to make friends
When I know how it’s going to end
Each and every step I take
I feel my heart racing
And as I try to catch my breath
I see I am one step closer to the edge
With depression all around me
And the walls caving in
Everytime you try to get closer to me
I am afraid to let you in again

Course:
People come and people go
No one ever wants to stay
So it’s better to push them all away
Just push them all away
Just push them all away
Just push them all away
I feel the pain is closing in
Stabbing me like a knife again and again
Making me wonder why I try to make friends
When I know how it’s going to end

Just push them all away
Just push them all away
Just push them all away
Just push them all away
People come and people go
No one ever wants to stay
So it’s better to push them all away


Details | ABC | |

In your memory

Thank you for the beautiful memory
you left on my mind
you are not dead
 but you are not here,

to me you are gone,
cos i cant feel you the way i used to,
everything you used to do are left untouched
the space you ocupied is empty,

our yesterday is fading away like the rainbow
so beautiful but so short,
how can i forget the endless yesterday?
when you are here with me.


in loving memory of my sister (you are not an angel but you did what an angel can do,you fly to heaven.)


Details | Lyric | |

Yellow Moon

She watched as the earth fell asleep

Waited for the yellow moon

soft kisses of unfaithful wind..

Images..Images on her head

Nostalgic memory of a forgotten love

Flashes of things she tried to forget..

Her eyes caught the reflection of the moon

locked inside the rain on her cheek..

She was standing alone..

Her grieving heart sought

solace from the moon

She petitioned the stars

Where is he this very night?

Cruel..oh so cruel..

Beneath the silence of the sky

she bowed her head and cried..


Details | Ballad | |

Starcrossed Tragedy

A Silent Night's Hunt for a Tigress so blunt, Left the Fiend dancing with my Thisbe's Cloack But where was She? Her Drenching blood is all I can see The Night of Sanguine, The Night of Rapture, Tonight was meant to be All Behold This Tragedy ran by Dark Energy, My Lost Lover's Plea A seed of what is to come, In this starcrossed Tragedy, For I can not live without you, My Pyramus, All I need, My reason to Breathe One sight of me bleeding away from reality, started this tragedy and with me It shall Grow The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy A Star traveling across the moonless Night Sky, In the mid-summer of Verona, Fell from her glorious light, I have lost my guide, My need for Life Every balcony I'll climb for you, Just to Caress you once more But now it is too Late, My Juilet Let the Poison Fill me My Body dyed In silence, Dipped in Paralysis, Forging the Will of God, Feigning the Clutches of Death, My Romeo I prithee to you, See past The Illusion, Caught in the Webs of Love's delusion A Dagger reached my heart once To see you martyr for our love A Dagger reached my heart twice The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy Once the Morning Retired from her weeping The sun shined into her eyes, then his Lifeless, their dream will live on Every Petal will be Avenged The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy


Details | Lyric | |

Fall into Forever

Fall into Forever


Jaded winter thaws my mind 
Like a cold november morning
Watch my soul catch fire in the wind

What still lingers in the pale moonlight 
Is not worth the pain 
As we fall into forever 
Winter rain washes away 
My mistakes my woes and pain 
A million miles away 
As we fall into forever

Drink, pills and thoughts of you cascade
Terrified and ashamed 
Shattered glass and broken frames 
Crimson oceans flood my dreams 
Drowining me
Into surender
(fall into forever)
Sweet release

Now I stand alone in the pale moonlight
I feel your pain 
As i fall into forever
Then I feel your tears 
As they fall on me 
(drowning )
As I fall into forever 

Sweet Dreams

Forever


Details | Lyric | |

No better tomorrow

****"No better tomorrow""***


Before the sun could have made its appearance,
her eyes are forced open,
with the outburst of the little one's patience;
Frustrated, sleep deprived and irritated, 
She jolts her head with the steel roof,
roof of sufferings,
covering the trek for butter and bread;
She tries to calm her baby incongruously,
She fails then slaps him for weeping,
and wonders if she would, ever, live happily;
The aghast kid, silently, sleeps in her arm,
she hums a strange lullaby,
repelling the foul odor of the swarm;
swarm full of poverty stricken flies,
who wakes up and walks to nearby mill,
to earn bread;
while lifting the weight, she cries;
She cries due to oppressive force upon head,
all of a sudden, she realizes her delay,
and she hurries,
as she doesn't want to get wasted;
She precipitates the boy in cradle,
made of a cloth; tattered, shoddy and ignored,
same as her life, nothing but a battle;
The battle not for glory but for survival,
the battle not to live but to breath,
the battle...
to remove stains off the crystal;
Her eyes are kept open at night,
as she, mostly, is hungry and anxious,
anxious...
because she experiences dark voids of light;
She reaches the site and
pleads to get work,
one bricks falls,
the manger goes berserk;
He continues to slap her, reddened are her cheeks,
She won't protest the abuse for sake of her job,
she walks to a corner and silently weeps;
After going through the mental turmoil,
she reaches her decrepit slum,
confronting her stinking fate,
as she would, again, be slapped by his husband,
He was hungry and she is late;
Without uttering a sound, she cooks,
Once all her children are sleepy,
She lies down and thinks about the world of crooks;
She is feeling dizzy and is about to sleep,
but before her eye lids could have kissed,
on her dusty legs, something creeps;
Goosebumps are on way and she is scared,
scared of what follows next,
she cries as crunched are her breasts;
the animal enters into her violently,
and squeezes her soul out of her,
he is gone; She is unsatisfied and injured
She cries but she endures it daily;
She is sobbing but is scared to sleep,
the pain is oozing out of her,
as the scars are green and deep;
she gazes at the steel roof,
and a drop of tear caresses her cheek,
but the water won't wash away her sorrow,
because she feels; she is poor,
and for her, there is not going to come a better tomorrow.


Details | I do not know? | |

Many Questions, One Answer

The bills, the pain, the drama, the rain
The storm grows larger and floods your brain 
With thoughts that begin to drive you insane
 Like, if I trust God will it all go away?
What am I missing? Empathy? Faith?
What will happen if I stay on this pace?
Am I one of those people that God can replace?
If I don’t change now is it hell I face?
Could we all be afraid of meeting our fate?
All these years trying to find someone to relate..
Is it true you can fall victim of a time and a place?
If I pray hard enough can I erase [pause]
The anger, the envy, resentment and hate ?
or at 25 years old could I be too late?
To try and change my life to get a new slate
And chills cover my arms and my heart begins to race
All of a sudden I can’t hear any rain
Laughter replaces the fear that remained 
and God lets us know it will all be ok
Forgive those around you and thank God for each day
Think with your heart and in Gods you will stay.


Details | Lyric | |

I Wish It Would Rain

Dark clouds hanging over me I feel so alone I don't know who to turn to I want so bad to run away Yet I know that the clouds will just follow me and I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain I really don't know where this all came from My heart is aching My Head is so full Sleep doesn't come easy And I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain Each day I paste on a smile I try so hard to hide What is going on inside I wish I could let go Not hold it so close I don't know who to turn to though And So I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain I want so bad to hide Let it all go Have a good cry It doesn't seem possible I have to stay strong Even though I feel like I am falling apart And my heart is breaking I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain Maybe then the clouds would go away I wouldn't feel so alone My heart would stop aching And I wouldn't have to keep hiding What I am Feeling inside


Details | Lyric | |

How Do I Love You So

In this wretched and dark place,
it's the only world I can show my face.
Ashamed of my love,
A past full of disgrace.
And yet all I want is to see your face.
But it's something I've longed to
erase.
Why do I love you so? 
These crazy feelings they need to go.
You have my heart racing like i need to show,
my love for you but I just really don't know 
how I love you so.
It's been a long wild trip,
but this I must rip.
And thats you from my heart
Yea that'd be a better start.
But here comes that thing again 
you make me want to sing and then
You see right through me
do you know what you do to me
All these things I've done you see
Fueling my insanity.
Make me want to fall apart,
Spill knowledge from this broken heart.
All I ever wanted was to be set free,
Can you really not see all of what you've done to me?


Details | Lyric | |

Only The Lonely


Painted in twilight grey, the stars dangle low
over a far valley where willows bend
in a lone shade, creating lines of a face
disappearing from hazy 

Upon stars, a wish holds this sigh
with yearning that you'll be here
to raise my eyes sunny as springtime
through your warmest afterglow.

Now I long for those days shimmering, 
when the pond was our ripple of love
and how the waves would tremble
while I held the arms that waxed the night.

You never said your heart grew frail
as we ruffled through leaves of byways
mimicking voices on the radio
till lonely tunes stab me, dying along with you.



Faces Of Loneliness Contest
To Karen, my girlfriend of 3 years;
I would have married you.


Details | Lyric | |

Mortal Man

Mortal Man…

I’ve awakened all my demons
…And it suddenly appears
The death of all my dreams
And the re-birth of all of my fears
Times I know I’m not alone
Other times, like now I know I am 
Sinking down just like a stone
No strength for my last stand

See me…breaking down
See me…a mere mortal man

There’s certain sadness
That courses through my veins
A delicate and fine line
To manage all my pain
Some of it imagined, how much of it is real
The only gauge I have is the way that I now feel

See me…breaking down 
King without his crown
A mere mortal man
Whose life slipped through his hands

See me…breaking down
Blood spilled on the ground
A mere mortal man
This is not what he had planned

Our world a tainted paradise
In which everyone must live
Always for the chosen few
The rest of us must give
No reciprocation as good intent declines
Even outcast by our families
For those we did provide
Expendable, disposable…
Yes, each of us must die
But how many of us have truly lived
And not been forced to live a lie

See me…breaking down
Never a king that wore a crown
A mere mortal man
Whose life slipped through his hands

See me…breaking down
Blood spilled on the ground
A mere mortal man
And this is not what he had planned


Details | Lyric | |

Make the difference

As others smile u have frowned 
As others have cried u just broke down
u have no sorrow u have no pain are the lies we all tell today
As they scream
As they fight 
As they kick and hit
As they all hate 
u hide 
When all is lost when you see no hope 
All you see is the death or your fate
You have not yet discovered what you are destined here for 
but you have no desire at all to find out you my dear are in dought of your ability to scream and shout 
You have the will You have the power shout your thoughts from the highest of towers. You were put here to make a change how can you do that when you dont believe in fate when you have no desire you are able to use your pain use your sorrow and use your anger to make a difference yet you are becoming no different then what you now hate.


Details | Lyric | |

Parting Shots

a couple......from my younger daze


Deep in the Ice House
On Loop Twenty Four South
He motions.........
To fill....his shot glass

Meanwhile at the Eagle's Nest
On old Sixty Nine west
She's shooting...........
Tequila  down fast

They're getting....Their parting shots in
They said it was over, but they won't let it end
Round after round.......Nobody wins
They're getting..... their parting shots in

He tells an old friend
Who happened to drop in
She is the devil
In disguise....

She tells a stranger
That he tried to blame her
But she says....
The truth is...he lied

They're getting their parting shots in.......




PROTECTED BY COPYRIGHT LAW



Details | I do not know? | |

Where Wild Violets Grow

Where Wild Violets Grow

Scribbling these verses,
caressing your bare back,
simple rhymes,
flowing from my fingertips.


Scribbling verses,
sprinkling odes to fragrant promises,
your smile lightens the burdens,
off my heavy heart.


Scribbling verses,
soaked in countless kisses,
the moonlight waltzing on your skin.


Scribbling verses,
feeling you,
your love never ceases to flow,


through the streams of my mind,
to a place of our own,
where wild violets grow



Details | Lyric | |

Why

I look into your eyes
And your eyes meet mine
For one moment
I could see the pain inside
And I know it’s enough
To die inside

And you ask why
I was never there for you
Why I never told you
What it means 
To know the truth
Now you’re being dragged to hell

Lookin in your soul
I know what it means
To truly know pain inside
I never knew how you felt
And just how far you fell

And you ask why
I was never there for you
Why I never told you
What it means 
To know the truth
Now you’re being dragged to hell

Why the hell was I too ashamed
To show you what life means
I was so blessed 
And you felt cursed
And now I’m the one 
Who left you to the side

And you ask why
I was never there for you
Why I never told you
What it means 
To know the truth
Now you’re being dragged to hell


Details | Lyric | |

Mask

I got too much emotion, too much pain.
I try to stay strong to keep myself sane.
I put on a mask with a fake smile and lie,
I'm wearing a "stay strong" disguise.
Pent up aggression, pent up sorrow,
How do i make it and see tomorrow?
I have so many secrets and burdens,
they're under the surface and hidden.
I dont know what to do anymore,
I dont know what to believe.
i cant live this battle this war,
this self hatred.... these lies I've made for me.
Pent up aggression, pent up sorrow,
How do i make it and see tomorrow?
I have so many secrets and burdens,
they're under the surface and hidden.
My whole world just spins round and round.
I put it behind me, but it comes back and bites me.
I'm fallin down,yet my past just haunts me.
Memories are burned in my head,
I dont want to remember this,... again.
I got too much emotion, too much pain.
I try to stay strong to keep myself sane.
I put on a mask with a fake smile and lie,
I'm wearing a "stay strong" disguise.
I dont know what to do anymore,
I dont know what to believe.
i cant live this battle this war,
this self hatred.... these lies I've made for me.


Details | Lyric | |

The Mirror

The mirror, the mirror, the mirror, the mirror
I love her eternally, but got dammit I fear her! Beautiful and stunning, 
I see this myself.
But the enemy is her self-perception when staring in the mirror.
Only when it fogs can you see the true you. 
Because only then are you blind to the scars 
and the blemishes and the pain that you've been through.
The mirror, a liar, a false representation of your intellect and mind. 
In the mirror you look for confidence, but beauty you'll never find.
The mirror, the mirror, the mirror, the mirror
I love her eternally, but got dammit I fear her!
And I feel her pain everytime she complains
About a transformation and a change,
Asking herself why is my body still the same? In the mirror.
You're reflection refuses to give you the love you deserve,
The nerve...now you feel inferior after believing every word.
The mirror, the mirror, the mirror, the mirror.
Tell you a thousand times how can I make it any clearer?
Take this, break the glass, it won't smash your dreams
Sweep away your insecurities 
You're beautiful to someone, beautiful to you, beautiful to me.


Details | Lyric | |

Pearl

Pearl



The pearl is precedence
A quiet resting creature who but deigns to live and die
When life inserts hard measure
Surrounds with gentle folds
And turns its pain to treasure

But lesson more than learning
That time alone will show
Already tells me nothing
Ah pearl, I do not already know

This tiny hurt of love was left, so like a grain of sand
When last she made to go
Time graced my heart to understand
Ah pearl, I know

I know

Emptiness would rest
Without that grain of hurt
So 'round its pain I grow
'till hard layered shell disguise the thing
Ah pearl, I know

I know

Oyster-man lie quiet
There's nothing left to do
Save gently rock in a sea of time
And grow 'round the grain of love she left in you

Encase it in a luster of multicolored hue
Mixed of tear and hope and memories
Of when your love, loved you

Hard over hard, and slow
'tis not an easy shell to grow

when years of time have rolled by thee
if some forsaken scientist from curiosity
Should wonder at your core
And crush your opalescent majesty
From vain wanting to know more

Perhaps in wonder he would see
That tiny grain of sand that hurt you so
it caused a thousand-layered soul to cover it 

and brought beauty borne of pain that it might never show

But I would not have to open you see what made you grow-
Ah, precious hearted pearl
I know,

I know.



Details | Lyric | |

I hear her screams(In direct response to R.C.K.'s Can You Hear Me)

I hear her screams that echo from her heart.
What I'd do to silence them and show her understanding. 
I feel her pain that tears her apart.
What I'd do just to give her solace that she has been quietly demanding. 
I feel the tears that fall from her eyes. 
What I'd do just to give her sight towards a future that is promising. 
Can you see that as you suffer, so do I? 
Can you hear the screams that I cry? 
Can you hear me asking God why? 
Why must we suffer and endure so much pain? 
Why has the sun hidden just to give us more rain? 
Why have our minds driven us so insane? 
Rain you will not drown us in the flood.
We won't be cast aside, we will be alive! 
The disturbing places we once occupied will be left behind.
I've been wanting to show you that through the lies we can find truth. 
I've been wanting to show you that through the pain we've gained nothing but strength.
Open your weary eyes to a future that burns bright.  
Take my hand as we persevere and push forward. 
Opportunities lost just lead to another open door. 
Rid yourself of the veil that once masked your identity. 
Believe in yourself and don't listen to a single word of negativity.
Nothing can hold you down with me by your side. 
I won't let you slip, I won't let you fall.
This light, your eyes, nothing can swallow you alive. 
You won't drown!
You will breathe! 
I've heard your screams. 
Now follow this road I've paved to lead you towards your dreams. 



  




Details | Lyric | |

In the Spider's Web

I am a spider
amused that you have become ensnared
in my web of lies.
My talent is manipulation-
I play you as easily as a puppet
dangling from my power hungry fingers.
Hungry, yes-
I feed off these lies.
The quicker you fall, 
the more satisfaction I feel.
I am a spider
and you are my pray.
You do not realize you are a victim
until you are bound and broken
my teeth at your neck,
How foolish do you feel 
as the venom courses through your veins?
Does this make me a monster,
Nothing more than a barbaric creature?
Relying on primal instincts,
I hunt for facts
and gather the truths,
smuggling them away 
and replacing them with 
Picture-perfect facsimiles engulfed in deceit.
Have I performed the greatest trick of all?
Or have I lost myself in my web?
Each fragile strand threatens to snap,
to unravel my illusion
and reveal the truth masked within,
leaving me exposed,
vulnerable and naked.
I have lost myself:
A victim of my own design.


Details | Lyric | |

Gypsy child

Gypsy child.

Oh gypsy child, so wild of heart
Who stormed into my life
When deep within that freedom call
It pierced me like a knife
You set the soul of me afire, my being came alive
And those many worn out parts of me
Away you did them drive.

You entered in my prison door and pointed out the way
The path that leads me through the dark into the light of day
You showed me that another world
Was there so pure and bright
You took my hand oh gypsy child, and lead me through the night.

This child so wild my gypsy child
She gave my life some joy
She took my pain and made me sane
My fears she did destroy
She let me see the mystery that I was born into
And she opened up the gates of love
And let me walk on through.


Details | Lyric | |

Answer Me [Part 1]

Whats supposed to be the order
of things that just happen,
Is it supposed to have a flow
or is it supposed to be random,
The phantoms, I can hear 'em,
Man its too hard
I cant bear 'em,
Memories too vivid
man I wish I could tear 'em.

The pain I can resist
but its the fear I cant handle,
The mistakes that I made
is now flashin' on every channel,
No lights, I need a dazzle,
My freakin' mind
is irrational
As hard as I try
my life turns into a battle

I fight every moment of
my life, Im going crazy,
The whole world's in a riot
and they freakin' blame me,
The devil's tryin' to claim me,
The angels tryin'
to tame me
I try to be the light
But crap; My worries chain me

The pain in my shoulder grows
it compromises the burden,
I fall on my knees, I pray
I wish I could hear him,
But I hear nothing;
It's just a cold wave of silence
I wish I could pull the trigger
And end this freakin' violence.

I was bad God
Now Im scared
Please listen to me
Please God
Please answer my prayer

Do you feel the
Pain that I feel
Why the silence
Answer me
Do you hear me
Cryin' out loud
Are you listening
Answer me

____________________
My original work contains lots of profanity, tried to abide by the rules......
check out part 2 for the end of this song


Details | Verse | |

Dear my heart

Where is your home, my heart?
Why are you silent?
We went through many things.
We were living life.
We lost the last that we have gotten
But still there is no end.

You are confused, my heart.
I feel it.
There are so many roads which
Lie before but only God
Does know which one will lead to
Paradise, and which one straight to hell.

Where is your home, my heart?
I’d love to know where to go.
Who is for us?
Who will protect us?
Who will help to find the way?

We forgave so many people, heart.
So many things we left undone.
We split into the pieces our vision.
The life that is unclear we gave up.

You are not broken, heart.
You are not tired.
I feel you beat still in my chest
But why all the time are you so silent?
Why are you so afraid?


Details | Lyric | |

Frozen

Ice rains down from the heavens tonight,
Frozen tears cut through the air.
Smooth solid sheets of glass, I lost sight,
Were you even really there?
Shattering like spiderwebs, beneath me broken,
Rage, the storm, badly batters, 
The pounding of the pain has spoken,
Crystal clear the heart cracks, it shatters.

Where has the light gone, everything is blue.
I search for answers, I search the truth for you.
Don't freeze me out, let me in, warm my soul.,
The ice is beating me down, taking its tortured toll.
These aching fingers can no longer hold its grip.
From you now, I fumble, like a feather falling, I slip.

Tears rain down from heaven tonight.
Frozen memories in the air.
Shattered mirrors of glass, I have no sight,
You were never really there.
Red eyed crying, my heart bleeds until empty,
Cold, the ice, beyond repair.
There is the death of the light within me.
I invited you in, frozen tears are never fair.


There is no way to survive this frozen fight.
Death rains down from heaven tonight


07-17-2014


Details | I do not know? | |

Reborn

My glorious retribution!

Behold- The sky, it is falling!

No more suffering!

 

No more pleading!

This reality shall be met

With the blood of my enemies!

Tis cruel fate has me undone,

And my memories are naught but shadow!

But my beautiful, fear not, for my

Insanity is as pure as it ever was...

 

Let me dine on the blood of the fallen...

We shall need their kind no more!

Ridicule is a thing that I shall eradicate!

It shall be obliterated from my Utopia!

Although I, a born creature of the moon,

Shall ever be impeded by my imperfections,

Your light shall cover this world!

 

My glorious retribution!

Behold- The sky, it is falling!

No more suffering!

 

Our destinies shall be twined around

An ethereal verse of my recreation!

Oh no, no more pain for you and I!

No more salvation in agonized starvation!

Our spawn shall recreate a world

To which our names will be cast in gold!

For you and I, my sweet, for you and I...

I will gladly slice my arm to have my blood

Wash away those who would harm us...

 

Our fates are shining in the sky!

Our pain shall be their eternal torment!

Let me dine on the souls of the living...

For their suffering will be a beautiful song

In my forever ancient ears....

Sing to me my beautiful angel...

Do not allow the scars to let you fade!

Please oh please let this sacrifice not be in vain!

 

My glorious retribution!

Behold- The sky, it is falling!

No more suffering!

 

There is no more feeling!

Behold- Your heart, it is fading!

No more suffering!

 

No more suffering!

No more suffering!

We shall find solace in non-existence!

No more suffering!

 

No... More... Suffering...?


Details | Lyric | |

God help the foolish

God help the foolish

Everywhere I go
The trees grow oh, so tall
The birds, they whistle cheerily
It’s all so wonderful
This world is filled with beauty
To feast the eyes upon
God help us all when all of this is gone.

Some folk worship money
They have no other view
Short sighted is the way they look
They never see what’s true
Destroying untold beauty
For the power of owning all
They are killing everything that’s beautiful

God help the foolish
They know not what they do
They bring down forests to the ground
God help those crazy few
Where will they get their oxygen
When all the trees are gone
God help them with their foolish carry on.

A world without the beauty
Of trees, and birds, and flowers
Would crush one’s soul so heavily
Why do they need this power?
Oh, what’s the good of money
If this is all there be?
This planet dies, as I watch helplessly.


Details | Lyric | |

In The Event of A Car Crash(Given Another Chance at Life)

One red dirt road surely to lead us home.
Until we hit that patch of gravel.
It sent our vehicle spinning three hundred and sixy degrees around.
My God!
We hit the bar ditch and went flying. 
My hands pressed against the dashboard.
My heart beat pounding faster.
Everything in bittersweet slow motion.
Until we crashed upside down like waves in the ocean.
My breaths began to shorten. 
My chest cavity aches.
I'm trying to find a way out in all the chaos. 
The windshield breaks and i slowly unstrap my seat belt.
I begin crawling on my knees.
Glass carving cuts into my hands.
I say Dear God please! 
Help me. 
My heart beating a million miles per second. 
I find my way in the darkness to the grass and the sand.
I lie flat on my back and tears fall from these eyes. 
Adrenaline has failed me, pain begins to take it's course.
Is this really happening? 
I roll over and stand on my knees.
The pain erupts through my body, and I look towards the stars. 
Cuts across my flesh that will surely leave scars. 
Thank you God.
For allowing me to live through this, it could have been such a tragedy. 
I'm alive, and this will be just another part of a chapter that makes up history.


Details | Lyric | |

Departing

                                                  I can't believe the pain in my heart,
                                                  the pain because you had to depart;
                                                  found another whom you can be true,
                                                  left me all alone, so sad and so blue;
                                                  my heart feels like it will surely explode,
                                                  don't know why our love had to erode;
                                                  life without you is so drab and bare,
                                                  you left me without a life to really care;
                                                  I cry from early morn till late in the night,
                                                  praying dear lord help me do what's right;
                                                  but the pain persists and will not stop,
                                                  I look back and see my life is a total flop;
                                                  the pain just grows more with each day,
                                                  stop, please stop is what I daily pray;
                                                  no one will ever miss me is what I figure,
                                                  I put the gun to my head and pull the trigger.


Details | Lyric | |

End It

End It
By: IzaDonna

My demons crouch real low
Seeping out of me real slow
The pain protectively covered
Darkening memories like no other
But I hide behind a smile
This life not seeming worth while
The blade I have is ready to go
Life already being at an all time low
So bring on the darkness
i no longer have a purpose

Chorus
I push you away to protect you
My sickness n pain being nothing new
So save yourself from my sorrow
Cause I won't live to see tomorrow
You deserve someone better
So let me be and go find her

Loneliness is my own choice
Feeling so lost with no voice
So I let each day slip by
Everyday just wanting to die
What have I become
Where did all this pain come from
Being left alone is my desire
The spark going out in my fire
My days I feel are at an end
Too far gone to possibly mend

Chorus

So bring on the darkness
I've lost my purpose


Details | Lyric | |

I Want to Fall In Love Again

I want to fall in love again
I miss the feeling
I miss the joy
It was like being under the sun
and melting..
it was like being under the moon
and shining..
I want to love again
I look at lovers
and they seem so in love
but it's lonely to have someone
and feel nothing
I want to fall in love again
But...
my heart is scared
I could not feel it
It may be missing
It might have died a tragic death
the lies, the betrayals and the hurt
I don't think it could endure again
my heart is full of doubt
afraid to take step 
for I might fall down again,
be stepped upon, crashed and broken
I want to fall inlove again
but my heart is SCARED..


Details | Lyric | |

Thank you

Thank you for a good lesson,
For the times when you left me alone,
For all my sleepless nights in your house,
For the love that wasn't true,
For the smiles that never warmed me up,
For the looks that never made me stay,
For the realizing that there was nothing
To fight for.

Thank you for your promises that
You have broken in time,
For the words that were ugly,
For the comments that did hurt,
For your screamings, putting me
To work for never saying me
This simple “Thank you!”
Because I thank you.


Details | Lyric | |

Beneath that smile

I hide and cry silently
Beneath the smile I show
Time and space I give willingly
The pain continues to grow
Walking this path lonely
Hopes, faith and love as my 
shadow
I hope and pray solemnly
With promises made to follow
As long as you are happy
That's all I need to know


Details | Lyric | |

Boundless

Maybe he was wrong.
Maybe I was right.
Maybe it was already done,
even before the fight.
Either way; It’s all I think about at night...

Maybe I’d been wrong before-
In all that hadn’t been shed by light.

Maybe I was too caught up in detail-
too contemplated on the fight.

Filling the void.

I was no longer me-

When I’d been so destroyed.

Decaying moral standard-
Reasons not yet provoked;
Moments not yet confronted-
Nor feelings evoked.

Spending countless moments-
in attempt to fix what wasn't broken.
Just so that I could forget,
which words been spoken.
Boundless-
my wings then opened;

Twas the path I’d chosen.


Details | Lyric | |

I NEVER

I never meant to cause you pain but now i go insane.I never want to see you hurt but now i know ive broken your heart.I never told you i loved you and now i cant stop thinking of you.I never was there even if i know i cared.I never was the man you need and now im in so much pain indeed so if never is forever then im a fool because i let never come between you and i.


Details | Lyric | |

Pain In The Heart

I'm a very easy going guy Who wears his heart on his sleeve Its always there for me in sad times Or in times when I need it to grieve But my life is lived with an aching That comes from within my heart Causing a pain deep inside of me That feels like its ripping apart Often from words that are written Sometimes words that are spoke They flame like a fire inside of me That fades as they go up in smoke I deal with this pain every day With tears forming in my eyes This pain I've been given to feel Until the day my weary heart dies
Dan Kearley:1-4-12


Details | Lyric | |

Thoughts That Think

Was thinking long and hard about giving up writing.
Convinced myself that I'm a quitter and there's no sense in fighting
To keep the only thing that kept me far from the edge
But I can't pretend.
Pretend that it isn't my Fortress of Solitude 
That's honoured me with solemn servitude.
That it hasn't helped put me to rest, thought and mind,
By accepting the past on paper and keeping it close behind. 

I was thinking logically and analytically 
Because it seems to be the only thing I'm good at. 
Thinking about everything I've seen and everyone I've fought to keep,
They're all gone now, only to be found in memories. 
They say Poets and Artists are the architects of Heaven
And only they know it's the hardest when no one buys what they're selling. 
No one wants to listen and no one wants to see 
Because everyone's so sure of what you're supposed to be. 

But what are you supposed to do when you've dedicated your life to understanding?
When you can empathize with your brother, but your own sight you can't stand it. 
When you feel that there's a missing piece and so the wholes hurting.
Swim out long past the reef and any safety that you keep to do some soul searching.
Days and months fighting fears, love and tears, digging the hard soil.
Only to find that missing piece you desperately seek is hidden deep beneath. 
When you've found the straw that broke the Camels back
Only to find there's a million more underneath.

What are you supposed to do when you follow the chains
Long past the plains in hopes to break the link.
Kill the ties that bind and have held you for so long,
Only to find there is no ball, you were free all along.
And in your days of darkness with no life to sip or sup
All the hands around your back were never meant to keep you up
And all of those who have kept you down will fight to keep you dancing to their beat.
Any impenetrable man once stabbed in the heart, will crumble with defeat.


Details | Lyric | |

Dard

"Badi Tassalli Se Toda Tha Tumne hamara Dil.
Hum Aaj Bhi Mohabbat Nahi Kar Paaye."


Details | Lyric | |

You Are Alive

Whenever I look into the blue
From your heaven you descend
With a sharp bright angel’s hue
And hug me lovingly true blend

You enter into my dreamy eyes
Like unending amazing dreams
And touch my trembling cries
To turn them into happy screams

I touch your heart to feel the beat
But like stars your teeth sparkle 
Send your glistening, blazing heat
Giving the dark clouds a miracle

All say you are no more with me
But I don’t believe this I swear 
For I always feel your finger key
Opening my heart’s door clear


Details | Lyric | |

I Cant Fight Anymore

I can’t fight anymore…
Doesn’t make any sense to carry on this way, with hurtful things being said.  I’m thinking I’m right and your thinking the same, pointing fingers who’s the blame? Who should feel ashamed?  We look into each other’s eyes with lack of understanding.  Emotional demanding it’s a strain to our hearts and our thoughts are not focused.  Clouds grew over head with this hurtful situation.  Rain hits us on the head to smother our tears. When it rain it pours.

Pain so hard to hide sometimes.  Two hearts can’t come together, to improve, to grow. To make what we have better, to agree to disagree, to get pass what we are attempting to destroy.  My feelings are heavy and confused.  The love is there, these times it’s so hard to share when the pain is deep.  Jealously of others with their own goals in mind divide and conquer our world.  Whispers in the air as we stare at each other, eye to eye, pride for pride with bitter pain of lies told.  Stories unfold with vindictive acts in mind and in time love lost.

I can’t fight anymore…tired of the patches fixed to my heart and glue of broken pieces that has scared over time.  Tattooed Bible verses as a reminder. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 doesn’t talk about hate jealously or vindictive hateful ways…the greatest of all time LOVE.
So how do we compare with the truth of the Word?  This isn’t living my heart was built to forgive, to and for love.  

I just can’t…
I can’t fight anymore the pain won’t let me.  I’ll rather just walk away saving the fight for true love that deserves to be fought for.


Details | Verse | |

Pain

I am Pain and Misery

           I wonder if they can see the devil within me

                       I hear demons at night  

                      I see dreams of dark fright

                     I want my life to be bright

                           I am Pain and Misery

               

                I pretend that everything is all right

               I feel that my dreams are worth chasing

                    I touch my heart as I feel it racing

       I worry that my true self is not worth embracing

       I cry that my demons are something I’m facing

                            I am Pain and Misery

                                                                                                                                    I  understand that life is worth debating and is worth saving   

                 I say goals are worth making

 I dream of being one day being interesting to others in the music I write

               I try to stay strong with all my might

        I hope one-day people can see their inner light

                              I am Pain and Misery


Details | Lyric | |

Bruises

Bruises
By: IzaDonna

Surrounded by darkness
Emotions hidden away
Bruises disguised with smiles
Never would think it
That my past still haunts me
The scars still completely cover me
I hide them so you can't see
I'm really not at all okay

Chorus
The bottles eases the pain
The dust numbs the ache
Can I ever just forgive?
Instead up building up this hate
I just want to find peace
I want my smile to be real
But its hard to do so
When I can no longer seem to feel

Frightening dreams keep me awake
Forever replaying in my mind
Life seems to be so much longer
This winding road so much harder
Can I just get a release
Beat these inner demons and be free
Or do I have to be forever cursed
With the ghosts of the past

Chorus

I look up at the stars
And close my eyes tight
Its time for last good-byes
Its time to end this tonight
I take one last chug
And fall to the ground
Take one last gasp
And then no longer make a sound

Chorus

I'm finally okay


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 3-

My eyes
Witness your departure
My eyes
Are dripping with hopelessness…
My eyes start to blur…
Melancholy put me under pressure…
Is there a cure to my disease? 

You don’t see
The shards of hope that once brought us back together
Just let me search for safety
I’m strong enough to realize that I’m no longer
The weakest prey out there…

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me whimpering like a distraught puppy left on the train tracks?

I’m close to my demise…save me and take me home

Nourish me…and be my beloved friend

Will this friendship last forever?

Hopefully it has no end

Will this cheerful moment help us get along with each other?

Because of you…I feel the need to run 
I keep an eye on you – I worry that you’ll hurt yourself again
Because of you…My freedom is nearly gone
I don’t wanna be caught off guard again
Because of you…EYE can’t picture a solution for our vexing dilemma 
Because of you…eye can’t focus on my long-term goal 

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you sense that I’m giving in to failure? 
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…I can’t endure 
The hardships that you place upon me…
Could you boost up my confidence to overcome 
My atrocious anxiety? 

I’m just waiting for some sun
To keep me in good hands…
To strengthen me with perseverance …
I’m just waiting until His son
Leads the world outtah Egypt and reveals to us…
His radiance…His dazzling Kingdom – 
Vibrant with glee

Your undying sympathy dawns upon us
I’m overflowing with indescribable joy  
You’re a candle in the night…
We meet eye to eye…
What a sight…what a precious sight


Details | Lyric | |

Peripheral Artery Disease

                                                PAD is absolutely no fun, 
                                                it won,t even let you run;
                                                my legs went bad in 92,
                                                they hurt and make me blue;
                                                can't even walk 100 feet,
                                                that's why my work i had to delete;
                                                the pain starts in just the calf,
                                                then travels to the other half;
                                                if I don't stop it goes into the back,
                                                after that I can't keep track;
                                                then I lay upon the ground,
                                                and I roll around and around;
                                                after an hour or maybe two,
                                                the pain is gone the pain is through;
                                                if I stay relaxed I sure look lazy,
                                                but if I walk, I know I'm crazy


Details | Lyric | |

Close Your Book

Close out your open book of love, life and the past. Go ahead laugh at your mistakes, you can’t change them.

The lessons are in the problems made, don't be enslaved by your pain, there’s nothing gained.

Forgive those who made it so hard to be forgiven, their living, moving on without looking back all smiles while you’re all tears.

Don’t be overcome by despair or grief, letting go is your relief of dreams, love and happiness, to pursue peace, to be satisfied with yourself. 
Learn to love yourself.
A mission made alone leave room for open thoughts and your tears are born free, cleansing the soul of impurities of the heart, where compassion starts to grow. Moving towards the sunshine that sets in the eyes.

Chapters read, pages turned of life, love, loneliness, lost hope of dreams, dreamt so pleasant.

Hell bent. Could never been heaven sent or thoughts heaven spent. Pain never the same three times past. It won’t last, healing is a process. In time a finer wine.  Bitter sweet.
What is the material of love made of?  Left overs when pain is manufactured.

What’s left?

A side road open by pain, a next chapter to be made. 
A lesson learn, when does a new life gets a turn? And when do we get to turn the pages of time to look back and close our eyes to dream of lost dreams of rainy days and happiness.
Chapters read seems endless, books of the past to be closed learning to deal with things, letting go. 

There will be a happy ending!


Details | Lyric | |

Where I Sit

I am not going to think about it ,
Can't do much from where I sit.
    Wasn't me that couldn't agree,
We know who it's so easy to see.
    Won't say much to help you out,
It was your decision that's no doubt.
     You've done no wrong I can hear you say,
Always the same with you every single day.
      Telling me I am wrong and just no good,
I should have left you back when I could.
      Now I am stuck  so in love wit you,
And all you want is something new.
      The evil and wickedness that you  soe
Has touched just about everybody you kow.
      Living the lie and playing the deceit,
Preying on the kind and gentle those who are weak.
       The day will come when you will pay ,
For all those you hurt along your way.
        It's not always good to come out on top ,
Especially when you see it's only you that you've got.
        Live out your days alone , sick and afraid .
You just wouldn't listen to anything I'd say.
        I am sorry my dear but this you did on your own,
It's your turn to suffer and you can never come home.
        I'm not going to think about it,
Wouldn't do any good from where I sit.
TAC


Details | Lyric | |

I'm All That's Keeping You Alive

Another a cappella song my friend and I made a long time ago...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wish I can save you
But I can't even save myself
You beg me for mercy but mercy's empty inside
I'm Stronger Again
And you're giving in
To all of this pain that I am inflicting upon you
I am...

The whispers in the night
The heart that's pounding in your head
The darkness over light
The monster underneath your bed
The death that waits for you
Lingering behind every door
I'm that voice deep inside
I'm all that's keeping you alive

I wish I can spare you
Your voice faded slowly, now you can't breathe 
You beg me for mercy 
But darling I am empty
The life's dying out
And you're crying out 
To stop all this pain that I am inflicting upon you
I am...

The whispers in the night
The heart that's pounding in your head
The darkness over light
The monster underneath your bed
The death that waits for you
Lingering behind every door
I'm that voice deep inside
I'm all that's keeping you alive

Please remember:
I Still Love You
This isn't me but
Someone else...

The whispers in the night
The heart that's pounding in your head
The darkness over light
The monster underneath your bed

The one who's there for you
The one who catches all your tears
I'm that voice deep inside
I'm all that's keeping you alive






Details | Lyric | |

Huge Mistake

Broken and bruised with intentions sure pure I calm myself down quickly before the 
tears pour once more a trail down my face one lands on my heart I laugh at the 
irony not knowing what is about to start my mind goes black and my breathe so 
rapid I can’t see straight as I reach for the floor I scream out your name into the 
silence at night ill live through this only if I can put up the fight

The hope I had dangled around my neck the noose seemed to be cut to short as 
the loudness of the ticking clock vibrated through my ears time was running out I 
felt the coldness in my veins if only I could reach you tonight maybe I would turn out 
ok. But since I don’t sleep I won’t dream of you it’s the only place I am sure you will 
let yourself be found

It’s a cut so deep it has no end it goes full circle to where we began a simple kiss 
still lingers on my lips as I lick the salt from the tears away a tremble sent through 
my body as I think about your touch and then a moment of nausea over rules the 
comfort of knowing I may never know your comfort again

Funny how life works it builds you up just to see you fall; to fall in love with you But 
that’s when you start to notice your throat starts to burn, and your heartbeat 
speeds up when your stomach tightens and your lungs close up when your tears 
rush to your eyes faster than you ever dreamed possible that's the worst pain you 
will ever feel

I close my eyes and just for a second in time I see your face again as I recall the 
words that were soft spoken but held so much truth, were three simple words of I 
love you. Eight letters couldn’t mean more than they do when I am handing them 
straight to you. But tonight I’ll stay silent as I stare at the sky, I sit here and start to 
ask questions as to why. Why would I let the love of my life, the future I see my 
future wife, why would I let them escape from my grasp  

Now as another tear falls and my chest starts to burn images of you in my head 
start to turn. I see your smile those beautiful eyes, the way they look as if you’re 
looking through me. This pain burns more each passing night and deep down I’m 
losing the fight. I’d give anything just to have one moment with you to say the 
things I wish you knew.  But that’s what I get for being who I am a broken heart 
and a life so damned. One last whisper before the darkness overtakes  as one last 
tear escapes down my face I clutch the blanket so close to me; I’ll be in love with 
you forever, even if you’re not with me.


Details | Lyric | |

Litany of Decay

This is for Litany of Decay

All hope tonight is just a void
Th cure was lost so long ago
But I still dream you will lie  next to me
Though you gave up on me so long ago

I miss the way the pain made me forget
I miss the way the pain made me Lose all misery

All hope tonight is just a void
Th cure was lost so long ago
But I still dream you will lie  next to me
Though you gave up on me so long ago

I miss the way the pain made me forget
I miss the way the pain made me Lose all misery

All hope tonight is just a void
Th cure was lost so long ago
But I still dream you will lie  next to me
Though you gave up on me so long ago

I miss the way the pain made me forget
I miss the way the pain made me Lose all misery

Your love was never meant for me
Nothing I was when you met me
Nothing I was when you left me
Nothing I am as I destroy myself

I must Live to face another day
To sing this damned litany of decay
My heart beckons for the grave
But there is no escape
So I sing this litany of decay
Don't mind me as I fade

Dance with me under the light of the moon
And sing to about my doom
Serenade me with an epitaph 
So I might feel what it's like to truly die

I see your face, it takes all the pain away
But you suddenly fade into the darkest of shade

Your love was never meant for me
Nothing I was when you met me
Nothing I was when you left me
Nothing I am as I destroy myself

I must Live to face another day
To sing this damned litany of decay
My heart beckons for the grave
But there is no escape
So I sing this litany of decay
Don't mind me as I fade

Living is suffering
Homicidal with you
Suicidal without you
I understand if you give up on me

The burden will fall
Today I might, today I may
Set you free, from me 

Your love was never meant for me
Nothing I was when you met me
Nothing I was when you left me
Nothing I am as I destroy myself

I must Live to face another day
To sing this damned litany of decay
My heart beckons for the grave
But there is no escape
So I sing this litany of decay
Don't mind me as I fade


Details | Lyric | |

I Wasn't There to Fall In love

I wasn't expecting for anything...
Then i saw you, and you change everything...
I wasn't there to capture your eyes...
I wasn't there to fall in love...
And yet, you took my breath away...
But your heart is taken by someone else...
And you came after me...
You played with our hearts...
And broke both of our hearts...

I wasn't there to fall in love...
And yet, you took my breath away...
You took my heart away...
You took my soul away...
And left me with nothing...
you left me with huge question mark over my head...
Asking myself why!...

I wasn't there to fall in love...
Yet, you broke my heart...
You broke me while I'm still mending myself...
Still healing my heart...
It takes forever to fix it...
But a second to fall for someone like you...
And now you barely look at me...

I wasn't there to fall in love...
And i wasn't looking for one...
But my heart chose you...
And it can't seem to let you go...
I try to look strong and pretend to get over you...
But deep inside, its tearing me apart...
Yes I'm weak more than you ever know...
And I'm not gonna show it to you...
At least not in front of you...

I wasn't there to fall in love...
And yet, I fell for you..


Details | Lyric | |

Heavy Conflict Don't bother Me

I fast boy, this aint no foot race
What you playing?
What, you think you got a game ginni in your game pack
Well, I paint Black
And stain them in Pain on rare occasions
Occassionaly coming up in death throes
Dead body is my stomping ground on this beat
My melody be blasting bastards, knocking em backwards
the Force of theses 5 Felonies be unappropriate behaviors
And if you ever seen me in Airstrik...es, 
Well, when you seem me you'll be very quiet
And if you thought it was adequate
my accurrecy so precise you can't phantom the damn damage
You know Im real skilled, and the satisfaction of it leaves me upset still
It was Mercy from God for me to carry this pain cause it suits me like it is a deep love
If Seashell's is ever in Hell then I'll be busting a knucklehead if he wants to act a badass
This aint a brag, no we never come in a boast boy,in my conduct I be, I promise you honorable,I standup as I stand for a higher standard
and when i get mad i act bad, When im in a heavy conflict
jaxattacks are my chosen tactics,
And nowhere in my eyes does she see me ever being a leader or getting the best of a ***** when she on my badside
My Blood cleansed that land, I faced the devil slanging quarters and halves in every which direction like my creation changed due to evolution thru the fact that i was moving too ****ing fast man, But i grew out of it like I went from panic to romantic attacks
From the battles with the devil and demons and nets set , and tribulations and Mania and Im still maniac, Still A disciple of Ninjitsu, my senses still keen, iM SINGLE till i get my possessions back, the love in my heart concealed, its so hard to hide my love I feel so many sharp p[ains,Love Felt feel these steel bars they are a million you would have to go thru to hope to find one, a connection u never dectected the quality of,im 10 times 99topics liike im a balla up talking in manner never heard of, be the bang that yo body been starving for, rt


Details | Sonnet | |

Vast Love

The love that kisses with a tasteless tear
A pain that can’t be painted on the soul
A longing for a place without a fear
Longing for a feeling that makes me whole
Beloved, words can’t heal my tattered heart.
As thorns pass me by the pain cant compare
That of the pain of being torn apart
Even the wind howls about it I swear
Tell me was falling in love my mistake
I chose my own fate and decided to stay
I will not let this love become forsaken
Love can’t just get up and spirit away
Love is worth overcoming a mountain
My love for you flows like a vast fountain


Details | Lyric | |

Cellar Door Escape The Fate

We walk through the doorway, heard you calling from the hall
To find you in the bedroom not breathing at all
I drag your body to the cellar where we lay, 
the wax it melts away, 
I kiss your face...
Now we are starting to love you more,
your body's on the canvas, 
That I painted on the floor
Now you wait,
like the drug, 
like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh,
now it hurts in the worst way, 
now that you're gone, 
its so wrong,
its so wrong....
If I could take you somewhere,
I'd take you to my darkest place, 
scatter you in art forms, admire the whore,
beauty in different ways your hands on picture frames, 
your eyes in the glass wear your face as a mask
Now they are starting to love you more, 
a gallery of your beauty no charge at the door
As you wait, 
like the drug, 
like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh, 
now it hurts in the worst way, 
now that your gone, 
it's so wrong, 
it's so wrong....
And down below your veins run dry your vacant eyes, 
I lost control your face is pale, 
your body's cold
And down below your veins run dry your vacant eyes, 
I lost control your face is pale, 
your body's cold
(face is pale your body's cold )
Wait, like the drug, 
like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh, now it hurts in the worst way, 
now that your gone, 
it's so wrong, 
it's so wrong...



Details | Lyric | |

Raise

I.
Lies do tell / nothing real / what they mean / I don’t know
All I had / I gave to she / to get these lies / what lies within?
There she lies / unseen to me / playing / with my being
Hate / just surprised / hide me / from this love I show

Chorus (1)
Slay me / make me go insane / I am dying / take my life away
Raise me / make the pain sustain / I am crying / take my breath away

II.
There I go / away from she / taking back / what this used to be
I never thought / this would end this way / with me / running away
My insecurities / are eating me whole / birth of my / imperfection
Denial / weary eyed / save me / from this love I know

Chorus (2)
Play me / dance in the rain / I am sulking / take my time away
Raise me / make the pain sustain / I am crying / take my breath away

Bridge
Is it over / do I cease to / care
I am free / you never / cared

Chorus (1)
Chorus (2)


Details | Couplet | |

The Deadly Dart

Wherever I go through out my whole life,
I end up struggling with lots of strife.
Thinking that my life is a total waste,
Wanting it to be over in a haste.

I can feel the pain inside my own heart,
Like someone through at my a deadly dart.
The wound is easing deeper and deeper,
Will the pain ever stop getting bigger?

Feeling emo is never a good thing,
Cutting your arm makes a really bad sting.
Blood is dripping from my arms and my heart,
Failing to dodge the largest deadly dart.

Drowning in all the lies and self pity,
I live each day but always feel sh*tty.
I have lots of thoughts about suicide,
But then I think about those who have died.

Those who have died not just from suicide,
But also those who are really nice guys.
...
...
...
...This "poem" was actually suppose to be a couplet (on any thing you want) for my english 
class but i made this kind bcuz i was feeling emo that day...and also after i was done i read it 
over and it almost sound like a rap song which, i guess, is kinda funny and cool.........


Details | I do not know? | |

My Hidden Pain

When you smile at me i laugh at you
When you laugh at me i smile back
I try and hide the pain and agony I feel
So i left this earth and went to Mars
To live closer to the lovely stars;
You might not think it's true

You say you know me 
You act like you know me
You even talk like you do,
But that's not true

You talk about me like you know me from deep inside
You have even tried to have that denied
But sooner or later i'm gonna die
And no one will care

To you and them it doesn't matter anymore
'Cause I'll be under the soiled floor
I'll be forgotten;
Never spoke of,
I'll be hurt and killed because of love.

No one will miss me 
I'll die with no one's sympathy
They won't even ask what happened to me

Livin' alone i think i hate myself
It's like i'm on the top of a never-ending bookshelf
Feelin' as if i'm gonna fall any second now
I'm gonna die and won't remember how

I'm sayin' to the world "good-bye"
Now i'm gonna ask you this:

Can ya hear my shouts and cries 
Can ya see the tears in my eyes 
Can ya hear, can ya see, can you feel me?

Baby, please...help me
Take the pain away
So i'll never deal with it for
Another day


Details | Lyric | |

Time Warp

Blinded by ignorance
Spun from fear
Lust
No love.
It has captured you
Surrounded you
You can no longer breathe, sleep, or dream
Without it next to you.
You get a break
You are free!
So you thought
Just tricked me.
Brought deeper than imagined
Brought more hopeless than ever.
You beg for peace
You beg for a conscience
No longer flesh
Skin made of lie
Purify me!
You scream.
Tighter & tighter
In
Never leave


Details | Lyric | |

Timeless Thoughts

Bath water …
Warm 
Maybe too hot to feel
I'm feeling alone and cold inside.   Little time to relax to reflect on some thoughts and several things in my life. My eyes rolled to the back of my head like…, I just can’t believe this.
Several attempts to cry but....
Pain tolerance…
High.
Never mind
It's not pride.  I've tried not to hide but found that I can survive time. I'm too wet to write.  Not fighting the flow 
The need for expressing my feelings are needed I’ve pleaded with myself looking into a mirror Reciting lines after lines looking and listening to what could be my own poetic Passion.
My voice, my thoughts raw; Cuts deep for the personal gain for something I’m in search for.
Stitches soak in wet as my hand drips excess water and blood, like my mind with words I’m thinking the pain can’t get any worst. 
Crossing out thoughts like the tattoo on my arm baring witness to my personal pain. Forever tattooed cross for my personal reminder like my stitches will be the reminder of another time. The past can’t last forever. Timeless thoughts. I’m Scared.
The pain, mine I'm the blame.  
I'm not ashamed.
It's the man I have to tame inside
Several mistakes cover my body, leaving scars for stories to be told or for the unknown record of my life.  Like testifying to living proof.  My mistakes I can’t tell.
I'm still learning.
Feelings desire’s that I won't let control or bury me in misery.
No mercy
I refuse to look away
Or walk away from my pain because each stitch tells 13 stories like the souls of men and women they are different and defines their personal pain.
My scares are my personal and emotional team working together influencing a chemical balance or at times unbalance thoughts dancing to a hardcore jazz sound.  A mixture, variety of thoughts.
Bath water cold 
My thoughts are now different, time taught me this lesson it can't stopped or locked away like the dreams of my mind. 
No stop watch or maybe I’m just lost in time.


Details | Lyric | |

Better

I look to a new day within myself with positive insights on life with dreams of being better. Self-improvement needed for my own soul for my heart to say, it can't do it anymore.  I refuse to be blinded by negative and vindictive people proving they cannot change. You have your way & I have mine, time will tell not in the eyes of men or women but in your own personal vindications.  

If I must walk alone on my chosen path, then so be it. I've been torn down & broken until I feel the pressure & pain.  Not a pain that can be felt within my heart, my soul, & mind. Though a pain that pushes me forward with goals of being great. 
A better man.  I'm fighting for myself because I know who I am, without anyone judging me.  As long as I can breathe & the sun rise I will make it.  If I have to crawl so be it. I'm not trying to win I'm trying to finish. My struggles & the people do not cripple me.  Believe what you see or what people say but I trust God & my heart that will beat strong long after I'm gone. 

You thinking that I'm wrong then you don't know me. You never tried.  You never felt the pain I've felt inside. To understand why & who I am. I’m just trying to do my best & to be a better man.


Details | Lyric | |

Death Meets Love

I got trapped in the dark 
the cancer creeps closer towards my heart 
I cant stand the pain that starts

they put a needle in me 
my heart stops beating 
I cant hear my thoughts or what im feeling

everything seems cluttered 
I stand here in a daze 
but your face starts to fade

I start to loose my feeling 
my hands are numb and my toes wont budge
my brain stops working 
little flakes peel off my heart

my heart turns gray 
I cant wait to fly away
in the light I shall go 

somewhere else but my home
where pain meets pleasure and death meets love


Details | Lyric | |

1111


time floats by sailing on a stream 
taking with it my one and only dream 
i feel so weak when once i was so strong 
thought i was right but i was so wrong 

i know the pain was killing you 
didn’t you trust me enough to 
think i could make it through 
nothing on earth i wouldn’t do 

even though i know you are gone 
all those memories keep hanging on 
it still feels like you're here with me 
i miss your touch so desperately 

i don’t think i can make it another day 
i'm just no good continuing on this way 
i can barely see the man i used to be 
blinded by all the pain and misery 

never thought i'd be standing on my own 
feeling so lost and all alone 
wishing that you were near 
to whisper these sweet words into your ear 

i miss feeling your heart beat next to mine my dear 
i wish that I had found a way to quiet all your fear 
i know it's more then me feeling sorry for myself 
all my dreams of loving ''You'' have been put on a shelf


Details | Lyric | |

Can't Be With You

I know how you feel for me
But im too scared to take a step forward
You know i got hurt before
You dont know how painful it was
I wasnt sure i would even get over it, but i did
Now, nothing is the same
My feelings is unreliable
I know that i like you
I know that i love you
I know that i have fallen for you
And i know that i wanna be with you
But i cant
It's not that easy not wanting to be with you
Cause every moment
I think of you
I think of what your doing
I think of what your thinking
You're on my mind all the time
And sometimes you make me speechless
That cute smile you make
So many great thing i see in you
Makes me wonder if i even deserve you
Now, you're talking to me about the future
Baby i'm not even ready for the present
Tell me what to do
Cause my mind is blank
But my heart is filled with emotions


Details | Lyric | |

Never Be the Same

I wake up sittin' on my bed,
I have these thoughts runnin' through my head.
I just cant figure out a way,
of how I'm gonna get through this day.
Oh, come and take my breath away,
I'll never be the same,
I'm not ready for today,
But it's gonna happen... Anyway.
I dont know how to understand,
I dont know whats, happening..
I can't do this on my own... No.
I'm starting to feel like i'm all alone... all alone.
I wake up sittin' on my bed,
I have these thoughts runnin' through my head.
I just cant figure out a way,
of how I'm gonna get through this day.
I need some juice, I need a Jolt!
Or maybe get hit my a lightning bolt!
some things will never be the same.....
Oh, come and take my breath away,
I'll never be the same,
I'm not ready for today,
But it's gonna happen... Anyway.
But it's gonna happen.... Anyway.


Details | Lyric | |

Somewhere I Belong

My last mistake
Was thinking I was the king
In a world where my thoughts
And words mean nothing

Stoked the flames
Of standard teenage lust
While the statue of my life
Began to rot and rust

Swept off my feet
By the knife to my throat
Slumped on the floor
Groaning out my lone note

Don't wanna lose
The last semblance of control in my life
Like I'm just a puppet
Just a slave to the strife

Hand me the reigns
To all my pain
So I can make it through the rain
I need to grasp onto what's left of my own life

Hand me the reigns
To all this pain
I can't see past the rain
I wanna go back home buried deep inside your arms
Somewhere I belong

Used the man
The needle clasped in my hand
Signified the end long ago
When I knew it was banned

A secret fix
I kept shooting it in
When I told everyone that
I wouldn't even begin

She saw the scars
I knew I shattered her trust
And every pillar that we built
Began to rust

Down on the floor
Bloodied and alone
And the fault is my own
Yes, the fault is my own

Hand me the reigns
To all my pain
So I can make it through the rain
I need to grasp onto what's left of my own life

Hand me the reigns
To all this pain
I can't see past the rain
I wanna go back home buried deep inside your arms
Somewhere I belong

Now, the needle breaks
Glass and metal strewn across the floor
I wish I'd quit before
I watched my lover walk right out the door

Will I make it right?
Will I atone for my sins that claimed my life?
I will find a way
I'll cleanse my soul today


Details | Lyric | |

On the Wagon

On the Wagon…

I’m on the wagon
Out to slay the dragon
His breath of fire always one step behind
I’m on the wagon
Out to slay the dragon
With my only weapon 
The power stored within my mind…

Cleaning up the act
Facing all the facts
When you were burning you know you couldn’t see
Removing the blindfold
The truth is seen and told
Now you’re cooling down and fighting to be free

You’ve got to get away
Find someplace to stay
Immune to temptation as it looks for you
Start it once again
The beginning of the end
You’ve failed to see all that it has yet to do

I’m on the wagon, out to slay the dragon
His breath of fire always one step behind
On the wagon, out to slay the dragon
With my only weapon
The power stored within my mind…

Look straight into the mirror
How do things appear?
Can you make out through the haze, the bloodshot eyes
Remember the times you said, that’s it?
All those times you’d never quit
Can you, yourself, live with all of the lies?

I am on the wagon, out to slay the dragon
With his breath of fire always one step behind…



Details | Lyric | |

Burden of Hurt

The pain runs deep into
Affliction of the moon
In nightmares lead astray
That carry on into the day

And all I can pretend
That I am on the mend
When shame and hurt reveal
It’s only courage that can heal

The pain runs deeper still
An infection that could kill
And so I hold myself away
In loneliness I pray

And all my dreams are gone
As I spiral through the wrong
Where the only thing that’s true
Was the time I spent with you

My hurt claims every depth
It wants my every breath
My hurt leaves me unknown
It leaves me all alone

Yet the darkness of this place
Will still not ever turn my face
And though the pain will steal my mind
At least my soul can never die


Details | Free verse | |

EYE Don't See -Part 4-

My heart is beating with upbeat delight 
You astound me…in every shape and form 
My spirit is dancing with unbreakable might
You surprise me…when you take my hand
And pull me outtah my jail-like dorm

And He dismisses me from my solitude…
My eyes are glistening with bliss… 
And I’m far from my demise… 
Only to find that there’s no need to feel helpless

Why do you spoil me rotten with your fatherly affection?

Just protect me from any harm 
Let me make my own decisions…
To see the results in the long run 

You prize me as if I’m cherished like your carefree child
You don’t understand – I’m TOO foolish and wild
I haven’t even reached to full maturity 
But how eye hope to see myself grow and be set free
From the world’s mayhem
Is there a solution to this problem?

And I’m left with no answer…
My eyes are eager to see…another bright day 
And the night is coming to haunt me… 
I find myself slowly disappearing from sight…
When will God give me a purpose to fight? 
When will He feed me His awesome might? 

Just support me…especially during my downfalls
Please answer my calls!

And I’m left to venture off into His path…

Eye can’t escape my terrible nightmares 
Consider my calls of acceptance…my grief weighs a ton
Let me pour forth my tears – 
Do me a favor and cast away my fears
Steer me away from disorder and confusion

Eye can see you’re making great progress
You’re heading towards a brighter, superb future…

My eyes 
No longer witness oblivion 
My eyes
Looks beyond the earthly pain…
bEyOnD the affliction 

I spot a rope in the distance. . . . . 

Push aside the waves…and let me
Grab it this instant!
God feeds me His love…and treats me
Like a newborn infant!

Eye see my Father with brand-new eyes  
I feel rare content
And I feel hardly any resentment

Eye 
cherish 
that 
REMARKABLE 
moment 


Details | Lyric | |

Sorhleod

It was the myriad relapse The shadows perched, time slipped, the temptation resided to my mind I'm sure I have most the soul I never once had Lost; once you go into the dark eternal black there's no hope of dreaming of atoning back Small child I cling to you trying to savor the innocence When I could believe in everything again I tried All along to search for the truth But " the truth" is something that the truth eradicated I want to be ignorant again Can't face reality again Cease the pain that the pills can't heal Evaporate the blood that negates the strife Let me believe in everything again Break the fear Remove the pins of reality And I still wonder why And I still wonder why "forgive" makes me cry I can't make it stopThe razor beckons my name The scars and all their Shame... Find a way to pierce my serpent heart Through the iron membrane it's bleeding, I know When I have no cigarettes to burn When I have no more knowledge to Learn When I have no more xanax To cause concern I've dried out My heart is loosing it's touch There's no way out The abuse and abyss has sealed me Cease the pain that the pills can't heal Evaporate the blood that negates the strife Let me believe in everything again Break the fearRemove the pins of reality And I still wonder why And I still wonder why "forgive"makes me cry I've dried out My heart is loosing it's touch There's no way out The abuse and abyss has sealed me I've dried out tMy heart is loosing it's touch There's no way out The abuse and abyss has sealed me


Details | Lyric | |

Movin In, Movin Out

movin in movin out
visitin walkin out
it seems so easy but its the hardest 
thing to say
all the mem'ries all the pain all the 
stress that i have gained i dont 
know what to do im leavin alright i 
dont know what to do im leavin 
tonight
idk what to do im hatin u and lovin 
u too
all the struggles all the grief all these 
things are keepin me from peace
but now that i found my way i pray 
things'll get better now that im in ur 
grace and youll bles me with peace 
all the mem'ries all the pain all the 
stress that i have gained idk what to 
do im leavin alright i dont know 
what to do im leavin tonight...
 movin in movin out
visitin walkin out
it seems so easy but its the hardest 
thing to say
all the mem'ries all the pain all the 
stress that i have gained idk what to 
do im leavin alright i dont know 
what to do im leavin tonight im 
leavin... tonight


Details | Lyric | |

The Saddest Song I've Ever Heard

The Saddest Song
(I’ve Ever Heard)

No guitar no drums
No melody to be heard
Just the beat of my heart 
Thud thud thud
Harder & harder
As the fear gets stronger
What is a girl to do when the one she loves the most?
Is also the one she fears the most
Saying no won’t help
He will do it anyway
With his manhood 
With a knife or sometimes even a candle
The pain is more than I can bear 
Yet I have to stay strong 
He won’t stand for tears
So inside I cry
As I listen to the sound of 

The Saddest Song
(I’ve Ever Heard)

I wanted so bad to tell 
I wanted to make it all stop
Yet I was afraid of losing the one person 
Who loved me the most
I didn’t want anyone to take him away
So I suffered in silence
I did my best to hide the pain
And the music played on for 

The Saddest Song 
(I’ve Ever Heard)

With a mother who didn’t seem to care
All I had was my dad 
Yet he was the one who couldn’t control his 
Desires 
He was the one hurting me more & more
When it wasn’t him 
It was his friends who paid to have a piece of the action
So I just retreated inside myself
So I didn’t have to feel the pain
Tried to block it out
Pretend I was someone else 
Watching from a distance 
Yet the pain still didn’t go away
And the tears never stopped falling
Inside of me
I felt so all alone 
Listening to the sound of 

The Saddest Song
(I’ve Ever Heard)

He passed away 
I pushed the pain away
Locked it in a box in a space deep inside 
Forgot it all until recently
Then the music started to play
And the memories came rushing back
The holes in my childhood are filling in
And for each new memory 
A tear forms in my eyes 
And no matter how hard I try
I can’t keep them from falling
Down my face 
As I realize 

The Saddest Song
(I’ve Ever Heard)

Is the story of my life 
& 
It I hadn’t remembered 
It may have never been heard


Details | Lyric | |

The Rebel

Dank, cold, unperturbed indifference,
Untouchable, yet touching all,
Unresolved in meaning,
Still creating each and every fall,
Every whim and leaning.

Touché pas! A cry of weary hate,
And will not accept a helping hand,
‘Till death! Brazen adverse in face of fate,
And alone in piteous stand…

Lone wolf we cry, thy fate is nigh,
Yet stands he still resisting,
That love should die, that only tie,
In error still persisting…


Details | Lyric | |

Away

All you feel is pain,
Self-destruction and sorrow.
Please make it go away,
How do we survive and see tomorrow?
It's hard to stay upbeat,
everyone tries to compete.
I know that I am strong,
But there's somethin inside, that feels a bit wrong.
I cant explain these emotions and thoughts,
I need to know, with myself, what is going on..
All you feel is pain,
Self-destruction and sorrow.
Please make it go away,
How do we survive and see tomorrow?
Trust has come and gone so easily,
And people have taken advantage of me,
and my Hospitality, oh.... please...
Take them, away.. from.. me.
All you feel is pain,
Self-destruction and sorrow.
Please make it go away,
How do we survive and see tomorrow?
All you feel is pain,
Self-destruction and sorrow.
Please, make it... go..... Away...


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 1-

My eyes
Pour forth feelings
That I’ve felt in the past
They make my heart ache…
Take it all away…
Oh my God…
They’re making me sink in dismay

When will they break away?
When will they give me a break?

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me weeping?
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

Eye don’t see
A happy ending in this scene 

My eyes
Journeys into the unknown
Who knows what will happen…
They’re like hidden treasure…
They’re buried far below…

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s weeping…
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near? 

Oh my God…
They’re driving me insane
When will they see my reflection?
When will they heal the infection?

Eye don’t feel
Raindrops of hope and relief 
All I feel…is grief…
Eye sense no peace…

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s sagging…from endless mourning  
And I’m close to my demise… 
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

Does He hear
My supplications?
Does He sense 
My fear?

My eyes
Conceals the tears that dare to spew out
I feel trapped and lost without a doubt…
They erase my delight…
They seek my hurt…
Oh my God…
They’re casting me away into the perilous sea

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s weeping…
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace throw out my fear?

Eye don’t see
A ship in sight…to save me from my demise
My lifeless body...
Drifts away in the wild ocean...
Without a sound...
Without emotion...

Eye don’t see
A rope to hold on to…
My hope for peace
Has drowned…


Details | Lyric | |

Comatose

When I come too close 
She becomes comatose 
from An overdose
Of some bad love
I suppose

Her heart calcified from the bleed
Now there's a stone where it used to be
A fort built around her being
Echoes of pain's sound for seeing

There's damage done to repair
She needs a spark with some air
She needs a gun with a flare
Can I break her out of it
Gotta break her out of it

She puts up a wall
And she's shutting me out
she don't know me at all
Cause I wont let her down
And darkness it comes
and takes over her soul
and there's nowhere to run
there's nowhere to go

Gotta break her out of it

*It's about trying to love a girl that has been damged from a past relationship. 




Details | Lyric | |

My heart is dead

You didn't listen to my heart
When it was whispering to you.
When it was screaming out,
You were indifferent and cold
Just like you never cared,
Just like you couldn't love.

A special drama
Sparkling day and night,
Now we are gon' drowning
Because my heart is dead.


Details | Lyric | |

A Smile to Hide the Pain

A part from my Journal

when i sit at my home with my family
i see they all look the same they act the same
dress the same and think the same 
soon theyll discover that i dont belong

they want me to be plastic like them
but i cant i wont let them take me
my poems have been about depression
heartache and pain ever since i started 
it dont seem to heal the wound
the scars i carry and the pain that bleeds from my soul

i cant really pour out my feelings for you
its hard for you to understand
no one knows me because i wont let them in
i wont let them see the truth behind the person 
that they imagine me to be

the smile everyone wears on a sunday morning is only
a wall they put up to hide there pain
so i tuck it all away and act like im okay
so everyone will see me the way that i see them

Shayla Dendinger


Details | Lyric | |

Song of the Raped Virgin

Yet…
Life shows you pain before the smiles
Even though youth has cried for innocence:
Outside the soul one bleeds and hides,
Inside the flesh one dies of nonsense.
When turning pages you see humble hopes:
The book of your life is already ended,
The sea you paint is without boats,
The land you plant is thoroughly cursed.
O, that you wish,
Steps away from you are!
The garden you live in is a grave where to be burned;
And dark shades in your eyes made the night of no star-
To fade out is a grace for those scars you have earned!
And perish all alone…
Like the fresh air in the cold,
Like an old tree the day of thirst,
Or a martyr when to burst…
That shame of your birth must be the same when to hold-
Those lies you tell:
As you are not only the first…


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 2-

My eyes
Refuse to see tragedy
My eyes
Marinate in dread…unable to embrace ecstasy 

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s sagging…from endless mourning  
And I’m close to my demise… 
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

You don’t see 
What damage you’ve done
Just let me be
Leave me alone…hand me a gun

I yearn for unspoiled glory
To make me feel perfect once more
I yearn for flawless serenity
To make me feel no regret…don’t ignore
My calls…don’t hang up on me

You don’t see 
What damage you’ve done
Just hear my plea
Listen to my excruciating cries…
Listen to the truth, not the malicious lies  
Our journey has just begun   

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me weeping?
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

Eye can’t handle the stress
Let me release my horrendous distress
Eye can see you making that same mistake
At least MY life isn’t at stake

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s weeping…do You feel my lament
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…Stepped on like cement
I’m aching with discontent… I abhor this torment    
When will peace scrub off my fear?

I can’t believe my eyes
Your guiltiness flows into me…
I can’t believe I fell for your lies
Your heartless action rape my mind…you don’t see
What my EYES see…

You’ll never see 
How much pressure you put me under
Unchain me from this chamber
And watch me flee…

When will you be set free?


Details | Lyric | |

Unknowingly

You will not see my dust of pain grating
in wild clouds behind the car as I leave. 
Sunset spills last rites on faded thought
that summer’s heat would hold me here, 
tepid in your arms, unable to resist the
haze of discord you had placed exactly
here and there, already certain of my fall.

Rearview masks your distant wounded pride
from sight, yet once the dust is settled new 
upon your shoes and empty heart, as sunset 
bleeds away to follow me, you will wonder if 
the crimson streaks across the sky are mine.


Details | Lyric | |

Please Tell Me

Please tell me you don’t love me
Tell me you don’t need me
My heart has been broken
And it’s braking really easy
Please tell me I’m not the one
Tell me I’m not the reason
I know you’re not happy
You can really stop pretending
Please tell me you’re on your way
Tell me there’s nothing left to say
I’m jus waiting to brake down crying
Every minute of everyday
So please tell me I was once loved
Tell me I had your kisses and hugs
Tell me you had the love of your life
We changed so we gotta split up


Details | Lyric | |

The Darkness

     Oh through adversity we find our way home, feeling safe in the knowledge that we are alone once again, free to feel, to breath, in any manner we choose. But as the blanket of security slowly falls to the floor, we become pulled back into the abyss of our memories. There is no force that can keep our thoughts from returning to yesterday, it bring sorrow and pain to the weary ones that have no will to resist it.
     Oh how the sounds of regrets ring though out eternity as they haunt our every waking moments, the inescapable truth, the feeling of loneliness building to its full tuition. The sorrow rains down upon our feelings of discontent as we slumber about our dreary day avoiding any vision that would remind us of the truth within. We can only wait for the night to descend down, giving us a brief moment when we can escape into the darkness once again, for only the fool has no past to change, and no future to regret.
     Oh what a day it will be when time no longer matters, no past, no future to remind us of the pain we have inside, it will be gone forever. Only fear stands in our way from this beautiful release, only the future can save us from what was. Now is not the time for regrets, the past is fading from view, We see the darkness coming an unwelcome friend, but none the less one that will release us from the bounds of this torture, from the pain of our past, an end to the sorrow of life, an end to the pain of regret. 


Details | Lyric | |

Bleed for Me

Bleed for Me…

I speak in anger
Spewing rage with each new breath
The fire burns within me; exacting fight
And I know the duel is to the death

No right or wrong
I wreak my vengeance
I stand alone, strength without numbers
A leader not a follower;
Understand this…

I will take all that I need 
Even as I sit and watch you bleed
Bleed; bleed for me
Bleed for my amusement
Because you are in the way of what I need, bleed

I look your way
Eyes burning through your every move
I watch your steps
Are you watching out for yourself?
All I can say is that you had better tread lightly
Because in my world, you are not standing on solid ground
It’s time to meet the maker
The payment long overdue is now being collected…

I will take all that I need even as I sit and watch you bleed
Bleed, Bleed, but not for me
But for all of the lines you have crossed without reason


Details | Lyric | |

In the Archives of My Mind

In the archives of my mind
Lie the thoughts that persevere
As brambles in the woods
Their briars bring a tear.

A cry for what has happened
What might have been but naught
For all the disappointments,
Mistakes, and "I forgot."

The pain comes rushing forth
Like a branding iron upon my skin
Burning with the memories
Of broken promises again.

So often have I heard
Of what I cannot do
That my small successes
Seem rare and very few.

There is no tomorrow
Only yesterdays and pain
Too much to be remembered 
And too little to be gained.


Details | Lyric | |

Kiss of Death

Kiss of Death

Can you see my pain now can you see why I'm so depressed do you understand how or what I'm feeling no because you have never asked cause you don't care oh it sucks being the youngest no what about the middle child or the misfit or the child everyone picks on what about them suicide is an option for them because they cannot win the game of life and neither can I I cant fight no longer I won't try I give up with everything in me I'm not worth it I'm the middle child the misfit the one everyone picks on I'd get treated better if I wasn't me if I was my sister or brother I'd get it all and they think they have it bad one day in my shoes would they understand the guilt I hold or the withdraw of being human I'm a monster I only dream of death I will love you with the kiss of death a place where I take you so you can feel my pain too nothing will help nothing will pass by me only in me I have no feelings no soul and no reason to live I'll kiss you with my sorrow and I'll be happy around you so you have to guess who I really am I'm not happy and I'm not warm I'm cold my heart is frozen not rhyming with time my brain no longer breathing no longer sending pulses to my organs the blood rushes from my vain out into the open unto the blue carpet I can only wish of death for the Satan inside to take me away to the lake of fire where I burn forever and eternity but will it solve my problems yes will it make you understand when I'm gone that I'm all you have left from this disaster no bands caused my deaths only the game of life did 


Details | Lyric | |

Wandering Alone

While wandering alone, with not anything  to do
My mind became packed, with selfless feelings of you
Photographs scattered on the floor, eyes well up
Stuffs I could have said, stuffs I should have done

The language of words that make two as one


Details | Lyric | |

I've Got Pain Inside, But No One Cares

When you smile at me i laugh at you
When you laugh at me i smile back
I try and hide the pain and agony I feel
So i left this earth and went to Mars
to live closer to the lovely stars;
you might not think it's true

You say you know me 
you act like you know me
you even talk like you do,
but that's not true

You talk about me like you know me from deep inside
you have even tried to have that denied
but sooner or later i'm gonna die
and no one will care

To you and them it doesn't matter anymore
'Cause I'll be under the soiled floor
I'll be forgotten;

never spoke of
I'll be hurt and killed because of love
no one will miss me 
i'll die with no one's sympathy
they won't even ask what happened to me

Livin' alone i think i hate myself
It's like i'm on the top of a never-ending bookshelf
feelin' as if i'm gonna fall any second now
I'm gonna die and won't remember how

I'm sayin' to the world "good-bye"
now i'm gonna ask you this:

Can ya hear my shouts and cries 
can ya see the tears in my eyes 
can ya hear, can ya see, can you feel me?

baby, please...help me
take the pain away
so i'll never deal with it for
another day


Details | Lyric | |

Asymmetrical


The boots moved slowly,
Crunching sun-baked clay.
A hazy wind down alleyways,
It moves with moans 
Then whistles softly,
Quickly gone.

A child stands in a doorway
Pulling something from his robe.
He keys in certain numbers, 
Only doing as he's told.

He waits, then hears a bomb
As it explodes.
A helmet lands and bounces
Near his feet.
He shrugs. then merges with a
crowded street.


Gene Bourne
06-03-14








.


Details | Lyric | |

Falling Into place

Wise words never felt so good to the ears of the needy.  In this point in life hard times plays a role, we all have certain needs that we believe are so important, like breathing air even though it’s not so clear.  Clouded thoughts are worst than smog that suffocates positive actions; deep breaths aren’t needed still you have to survive; bad judgments burden us all. Then again that’s life, what’s clear anymore?
Emotional bounds broken, so much like a missing link in life.  Broken chains doesn’t get the job done, though life does go on even if you’re feeling alone. The time of healing is a progress; we don’t cope well, when trust becomes a main issue, its not going to be easy, just to let go.  Holding on to hope like it’s the last breathe that you will ever take. Just doesn’t feel right not to have something to fight for and it’s a battle; to often laughter brought to tears expecting to wash away the pain.   Flood gates open, Uncontrollable and unconditional love are just words spoken to deaf ears.  It does hurt inside, nothing beautiful about pain as it wears its little ugly head and it continues to smile no matter what we are going through.  Consuming what little happiness you have left.  We all dream about falling into a place that would change what we always seem to be running from.  
Could this be our human condition? False hope and Running from our problems.
When we just want an open minded dreamer like our selves to verbally express how deep the pain hurts inside, so we cry looking into the mirror ourselves.  
No matter your condition, your situation, your flaws,
No matter what he or she says or have said that seems to crush what your dreams were.  The truth is, it hurts.  Hold your head up and dry your river of tears.  Your role in this life is the reason your still here.  No matter the prospective, the pain feels the same as we wait for things to fall into place.


Details | Rhyme | |

I am an unread book on an empty book shelf

I live in this cell with my self-hatred
How I was raised makes me feel so isolated 
These are not my thoughts or feelings for that matter
But I still feel as if I’m an ugly house that will never flatter

Even if you were to fix me
I’d still have some screws loose
I’d rather you knock me down
And tighten up my noose
Because my personality is too obtuse….
For you to understand

Until then, I’ll wait in the gallows
Waving my right hand
Trying to find a way out
Because I can’t tie a noose like you can…

It’s depressing to think that I possess this body that I can’t stand
Everyone that I love and meet will never truly know who I am
Because the face that I show is a total scam

So, For the time being I’m stuck in this body

This mind...

This soul...

I’ll forever be tortured in this blood stained hell hole. 


Details | Lyric | |

Death Within

Blood flowing within
Deep inside of me
Solidifying

I clutch at my heart
Deep inside of me
It's tearing itself apart

Beating out its erratic rhythm
Can't take a full breath or it chooses to stop

Conspiracy of all that surrounds me
This constant stress is causing it to die

The rhythm that it once followed is long gone
Instead it chooses to beat every once in a while

When I laugh, cry or even think about what's coming
One painful beat later and I'm down, hardly breathing

The me that I once was is slowly slipping away
Hooked up to a wall and barely even living

The me that I once was is now made up of wires
Dripping support directly into what is killing me

The blood that had once flowed is now becoming solid
A salty red syrup in the tree that God named me

The God that put me here to live out my existence
Is recalling me, I'm obsolete

I can't give in
Or I'll depart
God damn this beast
Inside my heart

I can't give in
Or I'll depart
God damn this beast
Inside my heart


Details | Lyric | |

From the heart of society

Theres a girl 
she pours out her heart 
gives him everything
changes her hair goes to get 
fat sucked out of her cause no 
one tells her that she really is 
beautiful she goes home to see him in bed
kissing another girl, then get up and smack her around
people ask where she got her brusies and why she hides her face
but behinde that mask hideing her scars is a girl fearing for her life 
scared to go home to that man that just might give her more scars.
Theres a guy 
who takes care of his brother
comes home and covers his brothers ears 
while his mommy and daddy make him fear
fear for his life his mom brings home different guys 
every night, daddy is never home but when he is 
they fear for  there life that just maybe that might be the last day 
the last breath they live to take
Next day he comes home and sees mommy on the floor bleedin 
his little brother tied to the bed stabed in he chest 
he tries to run but trips and falls
three week later the found him floating down the river..
These are the  people we ignore every day 
the ones that cry out for help
 the ones that need us the most..
The ones that are pimped out and dont see there beauty
 the ones that hide the scars that the one they love put on there face
This is our world and society today


Details | Lyric | |

A Resolute Parasite

You my friend are all around.
Feasting and nourishing, and setting your grounds.
Within the hearts and souls of many you blossom.
Is it I or do you seek out happiness and wash’em.
Wash’em out of every modest soul, yes you do,
No looking back, no check, no approve.
Ways to destruct lives you ponder upon, you brood .
I hear the pain, shaken up inside of you.
The seas shall rise, and doubt what once seemed true.
The anger inside of you is like a volcano on the verge of eruption.
I hearken to the ache in that once harmonic voice. 
That is now, only to me perceived as a melody of a shattered soul.
It is a hidden forlorn song, yes it is
Your pain, you veiled from the world
But my friend, I am here, do please unfold!
Unfold your pain to me, let it be ours, let it be free!
Let me act as an avenging angel
That sweeps your pain and sorrows of yesterday
And creep in better tomorrows 
Do not frown upon a broken heart, or a departed lover
Let not that pain upon your shoulder hover
I beg both of thee, unfold your pain to me, let it be ours, let it be free
Together we shall drive a dagger straight to its heart
Straight in to that parasites heart, we shall slay, 
For within these boundaries no parasites as the like of this, shall stay
So my friend, I beg thee, do unfold your pain to me
Let it be ours
Let it be free



--------------------------------M.M.M--------------------M.M.M---------------------------------------------


Details | Lyric | |

Hard Tymes

Its hard to keep my head held high
when my soul is drowning in sorrow
greatful for each day
but hate to see what comes tomorrow
when I look in the mirror
my eyes are filled with self hatred
thinking of all my situations 
rushing, and now I see I'm impatient
day in day out
I started to have dangerous thoughts
so its me; good vs. evil
its the battle that has to be fought
and the more I reach for success
the more they shut the doors
I use to feel the pain from it
but now I don't feel the hurt no more
maybe cause I'm popping pills like its crazy
using LSD cause I'm depressed
why  would I stop there? 
I drink V.S.O.P. to relieve the stress
and as much as I pray for something good
and I hope for the best
still nothing comes up 
and my faith grows less
maybe I'm doing drugs and alcohol
cause I feel I have nothing left
but still I feel better than you
cause you hide it and I let it off my chest


Details | Lyric | |

Strength In My Eyes

Its to no surprise pain runs deep, at night its hard to sleep.

Eyes closed my mind is not clear, doing battle with myself wears me down with out 
the hope to even smile.

 

Crying out loud no one hears me, feeling un loved and lost a simple combination of 
death, but my heart still beats to complete my soul, I continue to move on.

 

Though walking miles and miles builds my back stronger no matter how many pounds 
of pain I carry.  My goal to be in control of my life that at times makes it hard for me 
to want to live after pain as infected my heart.

 

I'm learning to forgive

Learning how to love and let go.

I wanted her love,  but now the tears have dried.

 I no longer cry.

 

She asked me, "How?", I replied

"I was built to survive and you can see it in the strength of my eyes."

 

 

By KSmalls


Details | I do not know? | |

Port of Call

Port of Call


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

with the breath of the ocean a caressing balm,
soothing pained memories away,
to the swaying of a solitary palm.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

feeling the brushing away of all past turmoil,
on a quest for solace, ever so hard to find,
yet comforted by the crashing of the waves,
as the tide cleanses all pain,
and leaves despair far, far behind.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

drenched in a sea-breeze of mist,
that hushes the ache of bygone moons,
tasting the salty tang on my lips,
as the burnished sun,
over the distant horizon,
swoons,

and dips.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

searching, ever searching,
for a slice of solitude,
as memory bids a final adieu,
reaching under the sea so vast,
and seeking comfort in the depths,
while embracing,
the tomorrows to come,
wishing that they be true.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

seeing my truths drown,
as they slip beneath the turquoise waters,

feeling my heart ablaze,
with a passion that rarely falters.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

yet knowing that I am home at long last,
wishing the waves would wash away,
the defences that once stood,
like an impregnable wall.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

I have found, at long last,

my final port of call.


Details | Lyric | |

Feelin' this Shame Without a Name -part 3-

Just tell me (one more time)
Where is that paradise road
Tell me is it my lovely haven or my sweet, sweet abode 
I'm sick of your plastic love
Sick of your heartless smiles... 
Sick of sucking up your biles...
Somehow I know you still don't care about me...
You were heedless of my despondency 
There will be a time when I'll run away...from reality's demise
The truth will set you free...and, honey, there's no where to hide 
There's no hole to hop into... don't be afraid, little rabbit...
The light will shun out the darkness and reveal our true color...who will win the future prize? 
Embrace the silence...
Don't fence me in with your morbid luck
Embrace the silence...
Don't fence me in with your careless doubting 
I'm sick of your crying...
Sick of your lying
I won't listen to your lies
Sick of your voice...sick of your disease
Sick of your dreams and fantasies 
Sick of your love...it wears off on me
Sick of your existence... i wish I could live in pure ecstasy 
Tell me where is that paradise road
Tell me is it my heavenly haven or my sweet, sweet abode 
I'm sick of your plastic love
It's not enough x2...I seek love from up above
There will be a time when I'll escape from the corrupted world...and live another day without a single trace of fear
The truth will set you free...and, honey, there's no where to hide...
There's no hole to hop into...you snooze, you lose, little rabbit dear...
Don't let the night steer you away from the light
Embrace the silence,watch the sunrise with me, and we'll gaze at the small chicks as they take their first flight


~My song is dedicated to a song I love from Evanescence entitled Sick : - ). For the people who don't know Evanescence, look up her songs: Sick, My Heart is Broken, My Immortal, Hello, Lost in Paradise, Haunted, What You Want, Sweet Sacrifice, etc. xDD


Details | Lyric | |

Run Away

Call the sickness out from under you,
Tell the people what is really true.
Know the pain that you all might feel,
But see the comfort in the truth revealed.

Run away, baby, run away.
Tell the world another day.
Run away, darling, run away.
Take a chance at another day.

Call the pain out from inside you,
Tell it all that you’re strong too.
Don’t let the sorrow come over you,
When you know that they’re with you too.

Run away, baby, run away.
Get away from this awful place.
Run away, darling, run away.
In the chance you’ll miss the pain.

Call the strength that dwells in you,
Tell it that, its time for truth.
Bring out your love that helps you through,
It’s time for you to be happy too.

Run away baby, run away.
Its easier if you leave this place.
Run away, darling, run away.
Lose yourself by it all again.

Call the lies out from that part of you,
Time for everyone to hear the truth.
Don’t let the fear control you,
When you know what you need to do.

Run away, baby, don’t run away.
It’s harder now if you stay.
But don’t run away...


Details | Lyric | |

Breaking down

I’m breaking down.

What does one do, oh lordy, if I knew
It’s breaking my poor mind, I’m telling you
My nerves on edge, I grit my teeth
What does it take to find relief
It breaks my heart apart, it really do

Tears and angry words flow all around
Those bad vibrations, making so much sound
The anger starts, oh where’s my heart?
It’s ripping my poor life apart
Oh, lord what makes these crazy feelings start

There’s yelling, screaming  everywhere
It’s killing me, don’t know one care?
And that old crazy farm is waiting there.

If I should cure myself I surely would
Who really knows, it maybe that I could
I’ve read the books, or most of them
By Gurus, shrinks and wise old men
Hey, maybe I’m just crazy, I don’t know.


Details | Lyric | |

Led By The Kiss

Verse 1:
I truly want you to hear me
you're busy with cement's precast
I stay in limbo twisting in the pre
in intransit mixers turning fast

Must it all be preparation?
Coach when can I play in the game?
waiting kills dream's consecration
and Im losing interest in the aim

Chorus:
So self abuse increases again
cant get passed the pain of the rush
no whys misinterprets the when
making error to blame for it's crush

Verse 2:
I push all my chips to the middle
I lose myself in hope as you deal
what to do the unanswered riddle
guessing ingrediants smelling the meal

Oh the torture of what little I know
its the strings of my guitars
I pick the tunes of suffering's flow
I sing night's dark seen by the stars

Chorus:
So self abuse increases again
can't get passed the pain of the rush
no why's misinterprets the when
making error to blame for it's crush

Reprise:
Your silence tells me not to do this
can't let go of what I could miss
torture through desire for bliss
brought to disease led by the kiss

I learned Im small, less than a pawn
my heart dies and they just yawn
while its only a draft drawn
its dusk brought by the dawn


Details | Free verse | |

Faith Healer

The odor is intolerable
Like a foul beast clinging to the end 
I can barely subdue its subterfuge 
But here I am, 
I’m standing here of sound and mind
Waiting for the time that answers my own questions

Can it race with the fires of Orc?
Doubtful, but it can jog steadily can’t it?
The weather is awful, filled with sounds
Penetrating a document not written
It pains me to fight through the night
Not because it’s dark, but because I am just a shadow.

Lester drives but
Motional lasts forever
Still driving
Still crying
And slowly dying as time waves on
Like oceans that can’t be seen.

Nobody cares and everyone listens
Ironic, like a bible that holds lies and deception
Can its will be pierced?
Can freedom stay free?
Is it worth it to stay hooked when everyone around
Seeks liberty?


Details | Lyric | |

VooDoo

Catch him up at night
Reading about Satans Journey
Painting his walls in black
Cut marks all down his back
Placing candles around the room
Using voodoo towards the bride and groom
Sticking the needle in her womb
Grabbing the shovel and digs a hole
Burying them one by one the dirt eating their souls
Next to each other under the sun
Using witchcraft just for fun
Never thought he'd be alone
Cuts your neck running chills throught your bones
His anger is the only thing that has shown
Driving him self into depression
When do you think he will learn his lesson


Details | Lyric | |

Dangerous Guns

Home is where the radio is
Paradise is where I am
I miss his cigarettes...His mess
He said "I am smoking the last one"

I'm going to make him crazy
Rage, rage, rage
Rage, fury, rage
Nobody will be able to hurt me again

I will defeat pain with rage, my love
He cheated on me
He humiliated me
I am lost, baby, I am lost

But then with one kiss
I'd forgive him everything
He left me without a word
But he had forgotten his gun

I thought "Do i have to shoot myself? Or him?"
But then I found myself in front of a mirror
And then I started to brush my hair like this...
Stroke, stroke... My curls melted away

And then I thought "Why I have to reach exactly 100?"
Because in the hundredth stroke...
My hair was back to being straight
I looked again

He had no power over me
Baby, I have changed
I'm not that little girl anymore
I was a different person


Details | Lyric | |

Starlight

Screaming,
Going insane,
Dreaming,
Stays in my brain.

It's raining,
And I can't make it stop.
I'm bleeding,
And i can't make it stop.

Starlight in the moonlights,
And you are in my sight,
And you won't go away.
Starlight in my dreams,
All the clues have no leads,
And the pain here to stay...

Now if I can just find him,
Everything would be clear,
All the pain will dim,
And he would be here.

The kisses would come true,
Please come out of my dreams,
The starlight won't be blue,
And I won't scream.

Starlight in the moonlights,
And you are in my sight,
And you won't go away.
Starlight in my dreams,
All the clues have no leads,
And the pain here to stay...

He is another dream,
But I will keep searching,
My Elijah come to me,
And you and I will see.


Details | Lyric | |

Havent You Caused Enough Damage

I feel like Darkness has come to get me
There’s nothing but pain in my life now
All I have left to give are the pieces of my heart
This is what you did to me

Haven’t you caused enough damage?
Haven’t you caused me enough pain?
All I want from you now is for you to leave me alone
Haven’t you caused enough damage?

It’s like I’m floating on dark clouds
That I’ll never see by
It’s all because of the pain I feel
It’s all that you have caused me

Haven’t you caused enough damage?
Haven’t you caused me enough pain?
All I want from you now is for you to leave me alone
Haven’t you caused enough damage?

Well I guess you’ve hurt me for the last time
But you don’t know when to quit
I guess I’ll have to teach you
What it’s like to get your heart broken


Details | Lyric | |

ALL THE WONDERS for put me to sleep contest

EVERY WONDER OF THE WIDE WORLD

Darling friend,  pain will end
Go to sleep my lively lady
When you wake you shall have
Every wonder of the wide world

Sweet rose day
Worlds away
Every lover that you treasured

Books and words
Dreams and birds
Every thought that can be measured

Darling friend, pain will end
Go to sleep my lively lady
When you wake you shall have
Every wonder of the wide world

(repeat all verses until beloved conks out!)


Melody:  All the pretty little horses
(my favorite childhood song, sung to my children as well)







Details | Lyric | |

Let Love Reign Master

When hurt and disappointment come,
When all I worked for seems undone,
Keep bitterness from creeping in.
Keep heart and soul above the din
Of all loud passion clamors for;
Vengeance belongs still to the Lord.

 Help me repay evil with good,
 Injustice with true brotherhood,
 Indifference with keen desire
To keep my heart an altar fire
Where coals of love burn bright and strong,
A love that lives in spite of wrong.

When cutting words at me are hurled
And lips of those I love are curled
Into a sneer of proud disdain;
When evil tongues are spears of pain,
Lord, I would yield to Your control:
Let love reign master in my soul.


Details | Rhyme | |

Someone, Someday

It’s so hard to start
It’s so hard to finish
It feels as if all that you've accomplished will someday be diminished 
And it won’t matter if you become somebody some day
Because someone will easily take your place 
Steal your ideas 
And make a living off you, THEIR way

It’s sad but true
Every mutha f**ka 
Will take a piece of your mind
and will somehow ultimately f**k you

not physically but mentally
making you think 
you’re not one of a kind
their getting all the fame 
while everyone leaves you behind

leaving you to feel like a failure 
people telling you to talk to God, 
he’ll have the answer

I pray, looking up at the ceiling
Hoping he’ll will give me a reason….
To keep going on with my life and my ideas
But all I’m left with are clones of my feelings
Washed up on canvases with some else’s fake veneers 


Details | Lyric | |

Thoughts of You

The other day I glanced at the horizon,
I lost my breath when I though I saw your face.
Yet I guess it must have been like when we were together,
It must have been one of my mistakes.
Forever there will be questions that I have,
With all the answers so impossible to find.
Now that you’re gone and so far away,
I wish I could see some sort of sign.
It all Blew away.
Now only memories will remain.
You’re an angel now above me.
These thoughts to you I pray.

If all the answers were right there in the sky, you would have them all.
Yet as time passes by without you it becomes so hard to collect one as I fall.
The pain when my knee’s hit the ground.
So badly broken I cannot make any sound.
With all these shadows all around.
Though I can still feel my heart as it pounds.

You’re the stars that shine above me at night.
You’re the sunshine in the day that still warms my face.
We both knew that we weren’t perfect.
Together though our hearts beat the same.
I know that you can hear me but so badly I need to say this to your face,
Knowing that you’re not I have this feeling that slowly I've become displaced.
Tell me how did this go wrong?
Why is it that you’re gone?
Here is my heart and soul broken down but put into this song.

If all the answers were right there in the sky, you would have them all.
Yet as time passes by without you it becomes so hard to collect one as I fall.
The pain when my knee’s hit the ground.
So badly broken I cannot make any sound.
With all these shadows all around.
Though I can still feel my heart as it pounds.


Details | Lyric | |

Broken Heart

I cannot describe my broken heart
I feel so utterly distraught
      We started out as friends
But now I find out you have a girlfriend
This horrible pain
I'll never see sunshine again
    But rain
My stomach is in knots I feel weak
     I can barely stand up to speak
Oh, when?
    I'll never love again


Details | Lyric | |

Let It Be Known

Go ahead and tie my hands 
Tightly behind my back
Now I’m ready for 
Any and all attacks
This is the truth 
This is the facts
That I’m not judged on my actions
But I’m judged cause I’m black
Labeled a bad guy
Cause my decisions was wrong
Now I got jus two friends
What the hell is goin on? 
Let this be heard
Let it be known
I’ve became a thousand times stronger
Since yall been gone 
I guess yall was pretenders 
Cause that’s all I see
Laughin so hard
It’s even harder to breathe 
I’m still waitin 
For one to attack me
Remember to not untie my hands
Cause with’em I’m like a beast indeed


Details | Lyric | |

Untitled

A long time ago I used to know
How o stand high and never below.
Now I know just what is bane
and I can't put up with such pain.
Hope will be fully gone 
if you leave me all alone.

It's nothing but darkness deep in my soul
it's nothing but sadness, nothing but a hole.
I can't stand the bother, neither the pain
binding my heart in a big chain.

Trouble fade away, then it is back
My heart's bright, my mind is black.
Am I in a maze of pain?
Will peace ever come again?
Hope will be fully gone
IF you leave me all alone.

It's nothing but darkness deep in my soul
it's nothing but sadness, nothing but a hole.
I can't stand the bother, neither the pain
binding my heart in a big chain.

How can I breathe if I always feel blame
you seem to be near, then you're so far away
my heart will always be burning in flame
Unless you save me, and show me the way
Hope is now fully gone, cause you... left me all alone.

It's nothing but darkness deep in my soul
it's nothing but sadness, nothing but a hole.
I can't stand the bother, neither the pain
binding my heart in a big chain.


Details | Lyric | |

No Improbable Romance

Well I can’t figure it out,
How everything changed.
Was it just my perception?
Did I somehow become displaced?
The last beautiful thing to remember,
Is how we danced in the rain.
Our bodies were so close together,
There were never any worries of pain.
Now the moisture is in the eye,
Then there’s that pain in the chest.
Slowly being torn apart,
Tell me isn’t there anything left.

This was no improbable romance to me.
The past returns and haunts me in my dreams.
I look out the window only to find all those empty streets.
As I walk them my heart seems slower to the beat.
When we were together you gave me all the strength to believe.
With you gone my heart left exposed as it quickly bleeds.

Time passes by so slowly,
The light has seemed to grow dim.
This lump in my throat makes me feel like I’m choking,
Into this sea of pain that I’m swimming in.
Eventually with some time and love from others I’ll begin healing.
Yet I know it’s just your love I want.
I never imagined you would ever be a memory,
Left in my mind to painfully haunt.
I tell you I have never in my life felt so tired,
Honestly though I know that I won’t sleep. 
I hear the seconds ticking by so slowly,
Then there’s my heart here left slower to the beat.

This was no improbable romance to me.
The past returns and haunts me in my dreams.
I look out the window only to find all those empty streets.
As I walk them my heart seems slower to the beat.
When we were together you gave me all the strength to believe.
With you gone my heart left exposed as it quickly bleeds.

No I never thought this to be an improbable romance for me...


Details | Lyric | |

Suicide

As the days turned into weeks, the weeks into months and months into years I wondered half-heartedly how so much time could pass me by. My life was a matter of simply getting through each moment. Existing but never living.

The days dragged on. Growing bleaker and bleaker with each passing moment. And, oh the nights how dark and lonely they always proved to be. Sheer exhaustion but never rest. Sleep was as foreign to me as the life I had one day known. The best I could have hoped for was to have collapsed into a heap.

The tears, how they streamed shamelessly down my cheeks. In the dark corner I sat trying to avoid the world. All alone. The pain unbearable. I couldn’t breathe. Only gasp between my sobs. Never-ending sadness moving in on me. Closing in until hysteria would come and take its place.

The pills. Oh, they helped for awhile. Eased the pain a little in the beginning but that didn’t last. So more doctors, more pills. Start taking this one and quit taking that. Stronger doses always called for though they never helped. Frustration added to the pain. Desperation finally took over.

Tonight’s the night. All alone. Making plans. Leaving notes. Will they forgive me? Will it matter if they don’t? Freedom on the other side of a bottle. A hot bath. A handful of these and another of those. It’s just a matter of time now. The tub is so relaxing. Growing sleepy. Now is the time. I have to let go. Eternity calls my name. No more pain. I am free.


Details | Lyric | |

Dig Up Stupid

You're degrading yourself You're only digging deeper This grave you've made for yourself You're your own tormentor Why don't you help yourself? Climb out of this hole Stop hurting yourself Fix your sad soul Look at this mess you've made Was it really worth The pain you payed Just for such A vapid Touch One more One more touch Dig up stupid Don't try and right the wrong The damage is done Silence the song You can't run From a list so long The eyes are watching The diverse Became the same Why can't I keep my hands from latching Onto what was never mine? Look at this mess you've made Was it really worth The pain you payed Just for such A vapid Touch One more One more touch Dig up stupid Dig up


Details | Lyric | |

YOU STOPPED LOVING HER TODAY

       YOU STOPPED LOVING HER TODAY
The very least you should expect is emptiness
throughout your lifetime, pain and bitterness
there is no end that you can ever find
to end the never ending struggle in your mind.

They tell you, someday you'll get over it
and as your life goes on you will forget
but dying hearts know that's the thing to say
appeasement to the pass of time and dying day.

How many nights will pain be everything?
There's not a way to stop what love can bring
nor change the way you feel in any light
it's always there part of your life both day and night.

You think on death how peaceful it must be
but dead is what you are and constantly
so lay you down to sleep in any way
and then it can be said, 
.............................you stopped loving her today.
© ron wilson


Details | Lyric | |

Midnight Confessions: FINALE: a collaboration with Honcho Mars

Here I stand…
I hope you understand…
I hope you can see…
I hope for you to see
To see what happens
When love is given
A second chance to bloom
In my heart
I slept for way too many hours
It empowers me – the thought of reaching out to you
Numb without you motivating me…
But, now it’s all over…

V.5/Bridge:
You always held a spot
Always left room
For that piece 
I held close
Letting fate take its course 
I must confess to you now
Here I am
Here I wait…here I wait…
I’m coming undone…I’m feelin’ like I’m too late
To save you this time
I hope you would arrive – I’m a lost lamb
In a hopeless state…
I won’t hesitate to sift away my horrid fate…fate…
Have I wasted your time?
I cried a river
In my heart, in my heart
Deliver…oh deliver
Me from fear – give me the strength to fight…
Let me fight with my might
I won’t drift away in the death cart
Our love was a precious work of art

Once upon a time, I loved you with all of my heart
Once upon a dream, tragedy's sting made us both depart


Details | Lyric | |

Words

The words march up your throat
like an army of the fiercest soldiers.
Each one pushing
and screaming,
ripping and tearing,
prying open your defiant jaw
with razor sharp blades.
Each blow forces it farther
until the words erupt
like molten lava,
burning and scarring
anything-
or anyone-
in its path.
The pain subsides.
The fear,
the anger,
the hate
has drained.
But pain cannot be destroyed,
only placated,
and pain is a disease
afflicting the world,
spread by the spoken word.
The battle may be won, yes,
but the war is far from over.


Details | Rhyme | |

May You Show Me Symbols If I Am Loved Back

Your kindheartedness just drive me drowsy like the day when
I took over dose
And remember I just be in motion so witlessly heartbroken just suppose
Even when I look so yawning into your eyes I hardly see
love is adipose
Come to common dearest and make this part of my life to you so close

May you show me symbols if I am loved back?

I want to just love you for the rest of my life honey
You've got to hold me so stiff no matter when I have no money
I believe we'll have to earn money in this kind of job so ugly
So never just go away dear when am burdened with a job in your eyes that's so funky

May you show me symbols if I am loved back?

I bet you appreciate me honey I'll never get to annoy you
I just see you'd be shining so fastidious in a color blue
I just want to thank you in advance so have this magnificent shoe
I know you'll take me so hazardous in this kind of me holding to you so glue
But I believe you'll love me more because am among the chosen few
So may you show me symbols if I am loved back?


Details | Lyric | |

Remains

For the longest time I wrote of pain and sadness and despair since I could remember I felt a hole in my heart like something was gone and suddenly quick like a flash and like a latch it holds on you found me and I write golden skies and pink butterflies I'm complete 'cause i found what I was searching for now I'm alive no longer missing a piece of me keep holding on no longer want to let go you saved me from things I can't explain and nothing else remains except you Wondering when i will find someone who believes in me then I see a quick handsome smile and truth in your eyes I can't believe i found something as beautiful as this now I'm alive no longer missing a piece of me keep holding on no longer want to let go you saved me from things I can't explain and all that remains is you you're my greatest gift I could ever get you're the only reason that I'm still here 'casue tehre's nothing else left I cannot explain how i have you now but i'm glad you're here now there's nothing left to fear 'casue all teh pain is gone now I'm alive no longer missing a piece of me keep holding on no longer want to let go you saved me from things I can't explain and all that remains nothing else remains you're all that remains all that remains is you


Details | Lyric | |

Into Many Lifetimes

In this lifetime the bond is blood
But these wounds go back eons
We hurt at something seemingly small
But the game of pain 
Has a Great Fall of Fame
Into many lifetimes

Whether we choose to see what is
Our reality is this moment
Or taste disastrous recipes of loathing
The gift of the present is to forgive
As He forgave us
Into many lifetimes

If your promise was to show me pain
I felt the deep pangs of that sadness
And accept what is 
Let’s leave judgment at the doormat
Love requires integrity
Into many lifetimes

I choose forgiveness
For no person is innocent
Like water under the bridge
But when I stare at the water
It doesn’t seem to move
Into many lifetimes

To truly forgive is to allow Being
Release brings evaporation of rooted ego 
Forgiveness is the only way
The Truth and the Life
Created with cobblestones of love 
Into many lifetimes

I forgive myself for my shortcomings
I release my fears and disappointments
This lopsided backpack of pain is too heavy
I forgot I could put it down! 
As I walk the next path
Into many lifetimes


Details | Lyric | |

The Time Has Come To Tell The Tale

The Time Has Come to Tell the Tale…

As all stories begin; a long, long time ago many years removed from now
My memory recalls events from the age of two, when the bullets took the life
Of a good man, an honest man, and what would this world need with that? 
We’re built on lies from the foundation up and there is no room for an honorable man
Led by the hand we’re all parts in the play, pieces to a puzzle still unbuilt
We take our pain like the victors to the grave, though our silence must be broken
Unspoken words may rhyme, but will it be enough that you can read between the lines
Grasp the meaning to the vagueness as it is spelled in black and white…

The never-ending trauma of past events that have done far more harm than good
No lesson learned, no explanation ever given, no apologies ever offered or accepted
And the pain again returns to haunt me, because I know things would not be the same
And what difference it all makes now is the battle I continue to fight each day
Few chances given, even fewer taken, so many risks I have never run
Where has loyalty ever gotten anyone, in this day and age where deeds die with the day?
Held back by the inhibitions that were inbred into my way of thinking… 



Details | Lyric | |

Vampire

To cause someone such a pain was not enough
Than to choke the void with shame would conquer love
To give someone this emptiness as a gift
You would fill the box with lies and wrap it up with promises 

So reach inside I just dont care
You wont find anything in there
Just a broken heart made of clay 
And arteries filled with a bitter taste 
I just thought I could be your friend
But your fangs were sharp in the end
What I see in your eyes is a liar
The beautiful death of my vampire

Turn on the TV to turn the silence down
Because the voices from inside they echo loud
Feeling dragged until the finger nails are all torn out
As the taste of my dying pleasure drips from your mouth

So rip my heart out through my spine
I'm sure it won't hurt as bad this time
You see Im not made from paper mache
I will not easily tear and just blow away
So you won't crumble me up again
And throw me away with the wind
My bitterness has cut a frown into your smile
The beautiful death of my vampire
~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Details | Verse | |

Let me break

Make me forget about this,
How beautifully I was falling,
Convince me it was my mistake,
There was always no one to rely on,
And no one to fight for.

Look into my eyes again,
Speak your lies, and
Die in it.

Make me forget your face,
Your standing there with no move,
Make me forget about you,
The poor illusion,
The wall that doesn't speak,
The life without breath.
Let me break.

Don't ask me to explain.
In darkness I do stand again but
This is my zone, my home.
This is my strength.

Let me break.
Let me forget about you.


Details | Lyric | |

why didnt they kill me?

scars have the power to remind us that the past is real-"hanibal lector"




why didnt they kill me... why am i still here...
being successfull is my goal...but being flat broke is my biggest fear 
the pain is far to great to hide, laying awake, wide eyed, contimplateing suicide
what is my purpose? and if i stay alive, would it be worth it? 
will i make somthing of myself? or maybe i should just forfit, 
my one wish is to not have to worry, and to all those i've disapointed, i gave up, and im sorry. 
a strong man is what people think of me, 
but deep down inside, a child is what i aim to be, 
because you see, a child, so carefree, 
doesnt worry about the downsides to the world, 
only the fun things God lets them see....please, one day set me free, 
take me away, 
from this hurt filled life that i lead, 
i plead and plead for someone to rescue me, 
but when i look in the mirror, what is it that i see? 
a broken down child, crying on both knees. 
this life gives no mercy, and only the strong survive,
how will my family react...in the event of my demise 
i pray no one cries for me, because i am in a better place, 
i've rid myself of the bitter pain, sadness and disgrace 
maybe if i get another chance, my demons ill see face to face 
but for now i walk through the valley of death, a sad, cold, and bitter place
hoping after this valey ill see heavens smiles and grace
but i fear that my mistakes will lead me to the devils ugly face 
so many mistakes i can never erase, u only get one chance,
so my advice is to seise the day
i've tried...i've prayed and prayed, but the pain still wont go away
day after day, my life i want to take away...but even that i fail to do
so night after night ill lay
in bed awake but dreaming, of the day my pain goes away...


Details | Lyric | |

Broken Soul

Erika Raiken.
"Me Against Myself"
7/1/2011

Put your smile on your face kid, yea that's right, and forget about letting them know. Wipe your tears, pull that knife out your back. There you go. Play soldier, with your head held high, and smile like a champ. Now forget the pain and rip out, rip out your cursed bleeding heart.The heat of it. A thousand cindering tongues licking at your very soul. Corruption lurking in shadows, and yet there is no shade. Just shards that cut like razors in your chest. These are just the mistakes we make, coming from chances we shouldn't have taken. Is there any better way to say "Go To Hell" than E Tu Brute? And Caesar fell. This cataclysmic apocalypse, tearing the demons from your chest, and making them real. A century deep, yet sixteen years true. Sparkling
vision as the tears come. Wipe them now, don't let them see the pain that lurks inside of me, inside of you, inside of every broken soul this world can muster. And through all this drunken rage you find a peace three years deep. Now wake up, 
and remember those years are rotting in some gutter next to Edgar Allan Poe and his Raven. Nevermore! Put that smile on your face kid, and forget about letting them know how dead you are inside. Wipe your tears, and pull that knife with that glistening hollow-point smile, Forget the pain, and rip out the Cursed. Bleeding. Heart


Details | Lyric | |

Held Within A Hell

Now I learn again to see
How to act, behave and be
No longer absent minded, clueless
And feel no longer eyeless or disconnected.
Although the pain I’ve caused is great
I feel a change is more sense in need
Begin the lift of barriers proceeds.
The sense of unrest prolongs
With gates of hell I’ll belong
This road, my life feels grossly shortened.
But how I long to feel
All this pain and unrest be illusion
Every forthcoming result in conclusion
Frees the guilt and shameful wrongs
And beginnings of myself be strong
For I am in need of redemption
End resulting be contention
Within myself, I’ll see the change
From detoxifying burning rage
My body, my mind, my soul
Again will become more whole.


Details | Lyric | |

Cannot Hide

I can’t hide all this
For your intensity of love
Drops from my eyes
Like the dew pearls
In a winter’s night

I can’t hide all this
For the fire of your touch
Appears in my eyes
Like a furious storm
In a summer’s fight

I can’t hide all this
For the sigh of your breath
Circles in my eyes
Like a cold shower
In a rain’s night

I can’t hide all this 
For the tickle of your warmth
Shines in my eyes
Like the fragrant flowers
In a spring’s night

Yet you blame me
Of barking the secret
Into the deep skies
How I can close my eyes
For they wait for you

I can’t hide all this


Details | Blank verse | |

Send Down The Rain

slavery of the mind to succed to the emotion (lies) Are we strong enough to storm the despair Or do we falter behind the façade over and over again Strive to reach the truth The kind is held back by all of the lies And the delusions of the unchained clouds Help us to believe again What we're all missing Is it all too late To send down a sign To send down the rain As the siren sings she's ready to be on the prowl On the prowl to hunt down our souls It's not real Pretend to send down the motion Our hidden notions Of our lieing emotions Help us believe again We're all lost inside Send down the rain Curropt against the pain Help us believe again We're all lost inside Send down the rain Curropt against the pain


Details | Lyric | |

final goodbye

this is my final goodbye
but i aint gonna cry
its my final goodbye
but i aint gonna cry

99 problems i should be renamed hova
i use tot think about u but u never came closer
you or mom couldnt remain soba
i write this cuz i need the pain over

i was always the first to blame myself
for all the hurt and pain i felt
few times wanted to kurt kobain myself
but all these words came to help

i guess im a bad guy
25th feb 07 my dad died
i find it hard to shed tears
i put pen to paper and make my pad cry

i often wonder if you were there for me
would things of been diffrent
would we of laughed and shared storys
or would i be a kid whos father aint missin

we cant always have what we want and need
all i wanted was my dad
is that so bad
am i allowed to admit im sad

does that give u to much ammo
because i rap people expect me to be rambo
i was on da edge of a cliff 
and you let my hand go

i remeber you and mom fightin
hopin it would stop
i was in the corner cryin
thinkin how much does a hug cost

age 3 i got took into care
got to see u 6 times a year
on contact u would turn up blind from beer
look in my eyes u wont find a tear

i dont wanna sound like im dissin you
ur my dad i cant rin from missin you
but u and mom brought so much hurt to me
and your death was the rebirth of me

2 months after you passed 
my best friend commited suicide
a yaer later my gf miscqarried my child
sumhow i still manage to carry a smile


Details | Lyric | |

Captivity

I was captured at a young age
Heart filled with pain
Mind filled with rage.
I waited for a chance to break out
But too confused
Filled with fear, flooded with doubt.
After a few years I broke free
Only to be captured again
Locked up, indefinitely.
I never got to fly on my own
In captivity is how I’ve lived
These walls all I've known.
My children will never see captivity
For they belong to the captor
And he has set them free.


Details | Lyric | |

the world expects you to be perfect

all the pain i feel is real
you cant tell me how to feel
this is how life seems to run
cant open my eyes to see the sun

somethings are not the same
this is how evil i have became
cant push the shame away
all the pain is here to stay

everyone expects you to be perfect
but really what are we?

you cant seem to find your way
now you have to find the words to say
you never really impressed anyone
now your life is clearly done

no one can save my life but me
i was thinking why should i even be
the days i have lived never seemed to be real
i cant see how anyone can still feel

everyone expects you to be perfect
but really what are we?


Details | Lyric | |

Save Me From Desperation

My golden one you're burning out of sight
I try to follow your light
This darkness pulls and pushes me away
But our love will never wane
Despite all of the pain

You rapture me from my own mind
When the razor calls me back
Tell me these are all just lies
Only illusions from my mind 

Deterring the pain away
I'm with you
There's nothing more to say

Paradise is mine 
You Save me from desperation
And I will fulfill all of your adorations
You save me from desperation
Nobody is in vain
Though my life lived a lie
You save me from desperation

Our starcrossed world 
Destroyed by the ones who run from reality
Condemn us you may
But love will always find it's way
You're worth it to be called mine
Evenour bond is crime

Begin the decay
There's no more to say
Eden's Heart separated us from the start
You're all I need to be free
Nobody is in vain
So you found my meaning

(chorus)
Deterring the pain away
I'm with you
There's nothing more to say

Paradise is mine 
You Save me from desperation
And I will fulfill all of your adorations
You save me from desperation
Nobody is in vain
Though my life lived a lie
You save me from desperation

Advocate Angel from above
I put my heart in your hands
I've fallen too deep
A way to fulfill our love is what I seek

I'm suffering, dying, trying
To live but there's no life
Without you 

Deterring the pain away
I'm with you
There's nothing more to say

Paradise is mine 
You Save me from desperation
And I will fulfill all of your adorations
You save me from desperation
Nobody is in vain
Though my life lived a lie
You save me from desperation


Details | Lyric | |

Dean'o O'Daniel

A small dinosaur named Dean'o O'Daniel
was a special one,
who grew up near the Florida panhandle
and the only son
To his single mother Sam O'Daniel

See Dean'o had a love
to where he could escape and drift away
to another place
 and play a simple game of basketball

Schoolmates would just laugh
As he walked with a ball under his arm
to his every class
Saying "Dean'o's not a real dinosaur"
Especially when
They found out he was not a carnivore
So he did not hunt
and for all this little Dean'o was shunned

Dean'o had enough
He went out to a quiet place alone
and said to himself
"Why am I the only one who is small,
not eat any meat,
And always love to play some basketball?"
"I just want my dad
and feel normal and just fit in with all"

As he shed a tear
A deep soft voice appeared to him and said
" Dean'o dont you know,
That so many good times lie right ahead?
I know you feel low
and right now nothing really makes much sense
But I promise you
That all this hurt and confusion will end."

"And please tell me why,
You want to be normal or like the rest?"
Shocked, Dean'o replied,
" Because I simply have no confidence."
The deep voice then said
" You're short height gives you a feisty toughness,
no meat keeps you pure
and the love for basketball only means
you are passionate."


Details | I do not know? | |

with thanks to Don Henley

with thanks to Don Henley...

...an echo of her laugh

whispers past

a simple joy, a gentle breeze

of quiet reflection that can never last

the fleeting innocence once drifting along

then disappearing into the notes of that Don Henley song

the end, he sang, of the innocence once felt

of days and of nights of serene peace

gone forever now, 

for into the night's void everything must eventually melt

though the memories and the thoughts 

and the echoes of her whispers

settled this gypsy heart, putting it at ease

but that's all long gone now

even though the echoes of her whispers

seem never to cease...


Details | Free verse | |

Letting Him In

You said you love us
And would never hurt us
But then you let him walk into our lifes
Even with everything you know
You wouldn't say no and just walk away
You finally stood your ground
Said never and left him for all he's worth

I hope you never know 
All the things that go through this head
I hope you never know
All the pain that i felt
I hope you never know
All the nights that i lied awake in bed
I hope you never know
All the tears that shot down my face
I hope you never know
All the pain

All the pain you invited in
Just by letting him walk in
All the sorrows you carried in
The ones with no end
All the sleepless nights that would begin
All the tears that have no trace
All the fears I face inside
And all the nightmares that came to be

And all this
Just by letting him in


Details | Elegy | |

Marie III--Is the Coffin Too Deep

So frigid was her immaculate body Her last second in screams is all I can see Love's revenge was my guilt With you I'd rather let you die with Bound hands Without you, Marie, like the psychopath's dream Death is all that I can see; All that could redeem Did anyone ask Did anyone recall The sweet taste of the poison The swift slash of the knife he penetration of the lead The pain of her decaying heart I can hear it's bellowing cries But why can't you, Marie, Hear my paranoid eulogies Is the coffin too deep? Was it so hard to solve Was it so hard to see That I strangled her so easily My nails piercing her comely skin Blood dripping like the pomegranate I crushed with the shovel I shattered her shins The knife to slight her wrists Didn't you see I did it all The only witness Couldn't say Is the coffin too deep? The pain of her decaying hear tI can hear it's bellowing cries But why can't you, Marie, Hear my paranoid eulogies Is the coffin too deep? Marie I cant stay Earth is to cruel when your coffin is to deep Forever in death and in death alone The pain of her decaying heart I can hear it's bellowing cries But why can't you, Marie, Hear my paranoid eulogies Is the coffin too deep?


Details | Lyric | |

Bleeding Addiction

I speak......the silence unmaking my words,

for here the shade of broken time does dwell.

I scream and fight to make cuts with these cords

that bind me closer than the ghosts to hell.


From Concrete illusions, soft Escape,

the edge of pain sharpening my Pleasure,

my joy Reality did shake,

Shattering......that glass glazed Measure,

my life-like dreams within its shape.


For what can make this place of joy, of deathly terror end?

The silky cuts, the bloody scrapes, the temp'ring torture bends

this sweet fulfilling agony...the sorrow of my soul,

does taunt my honor heedlessly, but tell me Not, I Know.


For only with this torture can my body freely breathe,

only this enticing pain can make my spirit free.

So tell me not that this is wrong for how can it not be?

this Loving Torment of my soul will Never let me be.


Details | Lyric | |

Like a Song

This is a song i wrote, i don't know how i feel about it, so let me know what ya think!


If life were like a fairy tale
I’d be your princess
And you my prince.

We’d live in our castle
Happily ever after
The End.

But life isn’t like a story
Where everything’s alright
It’s more like a song-
It seems to end
Just as it begins.

The pain and hurt
Will devour and consume.
Your soul will lie with the dead.

Chorus-
Because it’s…
Too late
But it’s never
 too late
to say I love you.
Say I miss you when you’re gone.
When the door is closed 
Act like it’s open
Tear it down
And go inside

‘cause baby you’re a….
You’re alive
So?
If you can’t be with me
Can’t you at least promise
That you’ll never again
Leave?


If love were easy
Everyone would have it
The chase would be 
Eliminated.

We’d be together baby
Now and forever we wound
Be on top of the world….

But love isn’t like a movie
Sometimes there’s no happy ending
It’s more like a song
It seems to end
Just as it begins.

The pain and hurt
Will devour and consume
Your soul will lie with the dead.

Chorus

Why did you have to lie to me?
(lie to me)
You promised you’d love me
to the end of eternity.
But I guess words are weak
And so is your heart
I never thought
We’d be apart
But the sun eventually sets
(Softly) So did love.

Chorus

But love isn’t like a movie
Sometimes there’s no happy ending
It’s more like a song
It seems to end
Just as it begins.


Details | Lyric | |

My Hearts Cry

The sun was shining on that
cool and beautiful day.
It was almost time to go
to the church Christmas play
As I was dressing 
the pain began to start
I knew something was wrong
I felt it in my heart.
“God please protect this baby,”
was my hearts only cry.
I continued to get dressed
though tears filled up my eyes.
The pain went away
so to the play we went.
There my new friends we would meet
and we went and found the perfect seats.
The play was going great
and it started to get late.
As I sat there mesmerized
the pain again I felt inside.
Out I went to take a break
but it was almost to late.
To the hospital I did go
because my friend and husband told me so.
My pain grew more intense 
as my life hung in the balance.
I screamed with every pain 
my weakened body was drained.
The doctor said to me,
“To surgery you must go,
the small life in you is gone,
but you must be strong.
Every minute that we wait
adds defeat to your fate.
This surgery we must do
to save the precious life of you.”
My heart began to cry
as I asked myself ”Why”! 
This little life so sweet 
now I shall never meet.
The pain I felt inside
made me start to cry.
Then in my room appeared
three people that were dear.
To comfort me this night 
my life to help me fight.
Only they would know my fate 
for they were sent from Heavens gates.
“All is well” the first did say.
The second said, 
“Don’t be afraid.”
Not a word did the third one say.
All he did was stand and pray.
The peace I felt was so intense, 
I knew it must be Heaven sent.
The light I saw 
was bright and warm.
The peace I felt
my heart adored.
“Its not your time.”
The first did day
“With your family you must stay,
all is well in your life,
you’ll see,
one day soon 
you will meet your King.”
“Know this my child
on this blessed day
your wonderful life
our God did save.”
“So many questions
cross your mind.”
“I pray God gives you 
peace in this time.”
“Only God knows why
He answered not your cry.
Understand not
don’t even try.”
“Soon the pain in your heart
will end.”
“Then the healing
will begin”
“To end this poem 
in a special way,
remember this 
I once more will say,
God saved your life
This blessed day.”


©January, 1998


Details | Lyric | |

I don't know what to call this either

Door shut, no way into her heartless chest.
What's that sound I hear? Just another folk song being sung by some sane passerby.
While he sings I'm in this shell waiting for the next day.
No one knows my true pain or my struggles.
The pain in my chest and in my head are too great to explain.
But you all know the struggles that I face.
If you don't know then I guess you better read more.


Details | Lyric | |

My pain grew older

I did not know pain when I was born
and even though the crying pierced the cold air
She was born with me
as my twin …

In my walk through a street without exit
she reached for me with her tough hands
pulling me towards her
Up to the tears…

My pain grew older
Under the shelter of my eyelashes landed without apostatize 
The light of my spirit casted her away
But she kept returning again and again…
Again ...
Now, after so long is still knocking 
With anonymous names revolves around me
Acts softly and smoothly ..
looking for some life ...
Grew old my childbirth pain
Covered in grey hair 
as she shakes now lifeless in my hands…


Details | Lyric | |

Please Dont Let Her Go

The call of a mother
the mean words of her children
the pain that lingers through the years

Her pain suffocates her
dying in a lonely place
waiting to be heard
she turns a lighter color

They try to save her
but their love is not enough
they stand in a white room
waiting for the words 
the words no one wants to hear

Please dont let her go
let her stand oh lord
let her be with us 
let her feel no pain

The lights dimmer

the ceiling falls
their standing underneath the sky
their mother stands before them
she tells them to let go of all the guilt
that has built up for she is safe and okay now

They stand as the light of there mother fades
there alone now standing underneath the black sky


their pain and guilt fades knowing there mother loves them and always will

Dedicated to Granny Helen Caccumise (you were like a mother to me and may you rest in peace)


Details | Lyric | |

Eyes

my cold lifeless eyes bare to what the world  has shown it not afraid to look into the valley 
and forecast the past only able to recollect what is there not what was;
lost in the unseen and blinded by the essence of presence afraid to blink but hold the power 
to look past the flesh and break down the soul;
so now that the time has come to rest them and endulge in the dream land my cold lifeless 
eyes  presents its findings, the day as night the night as pain and the pain as the life that 
was once there;
so dare to look into my cold lifeless eyes and see what you find


Details | Lyric | |

?!MOTHER!?

MOTHER you’ve turned your back on me over a 
religion I did not follow
I won’t sit here any more in self-pity and wallow
You’ll NEVER know what I’m all about
Because my love you’ve chosen to do without;
As I’ve grown into an adult, you’ve missed so 
many important things in my life
It’s like you’ve purposely stabbed me in the heart 
with a knife;
You’ve lied to me forever about my dad,
A man I never in my life ever had;
I was a reminder of the father you pushed away
I’m sorry MOTHER if the truth I must say:
I’ve apologized to you over and over, for running 
away too, my one big mistake
Your love for me has always been fake,
You were NEVER there for me in the first place
To you I was nothing but a disgrace,
That’s okay though, I’m now grown
The pain I felt once upon a time, to you will 
remain  unknown;
I  do miss you, think of you often, but I need you 
no more
You used to hurt me to the very core
It has now been so many years
I no longer shed any more tears;
I at one time would sit and wonder what could 
have been, through many days and nights
Sorry I grew up and  you lost your control and 
all your former rights;
I never could do anything to win your heart
You never loved me right from the start,
I wasn’t able to bring you any kind of joy
Why was that MOTHER? YOU told me repeatedly 
it was because I wasn’t a boy,
You couldn’t even be proud of me when I did
wonderfully in school
Dang MOTHER that just wasn’t cool;
In front of others you were so nice
I knew differently, you were cold as ice
It was like living with Jekyll and Hyde
No matter what happened you were never on  my
side;
Several people mourn a mother whom death 
wasn’t able to survive 
While you MOTHER get to be  here very much 
alive,
I used to hate you more that words could say
But no longer I’ve found another way,
I’ve now  let all my past feelings out 
I no longer have to scream and shout
The pain in my heart, mind and soul is now gone, 
and I’ve become the bigger one,
To me this is now the end of us, I don’t fell guilty 
anymore, I am so done;
Finally at last I can close the door in your face
Because GOD has given me peace,  I am now
in a different place!!!!!


Details | Lyric | |

You've Gone

You said "why don't you just get over it",
But it's really not that easy,
I feel incomplete without you here,
Wondering where we went wrong.

For once I was happier than ever,
I could feel the fireworks,
I felt the sparks and saw the color
In your cheeks when we kissed.

I heard warmth in your words,
Saw your eyes sparkle, 
How could you say it was a mistake,
It was all just a lie?

I've lost my way now,
Can't get back home,
No matter how far I travel
It's never far enough.

I'm running to the place,
The one you once called home,
And I can't stop from screaming your name,
But I know you won't be there.

I’m trying my hardest, really,
But I’m constantly being reminded,
It’s not fair but what can I do?
I swore that was the last time.

It’s not like you didn’t know
I loved you, you knew, the thing is,
I thought you felt this way too,
And now your story’s changed to suit you.

What were you so afraid of?
You promised me forever,
What made you change your mind?
I don’t understand.

I've lost my way now,
Can't get back home,
No matter how far I travel
It's never far enough.

I'm running to the place,
The one you once called home,
And I can't stop from screaming your name,
But I know you won't be there.

And all I can say is,
I tried, I tried to love you
But you didn’t want it,
You pulled away.

So why can’t I stay away?
You’re a drug, you left me
Breathless, defenseless,
Nowhere else to turn.

You said "just move on, 
I don’t know what you expect of me",
I was just a silly mistake to you,
A foolish girl who fell for lies.

I've lost my way now,
Can't get back home,
No matter how far I travel
It's never far enough.

I'm running to the place,
The one you once called home,
And I can't stop from screaming your name,
But I know you won't be there

Every minute I waste
Is another minute gone,
But I can’t stop myself,
You got under my skin.

Made a home inside my heart,
And tore my feelings apart,
I’ve become numb, I don’t
Know what to feel anymore.

It’s so frustrating, tiring to still
Stand here waiting, hoping
You’ll change your mind and see
I’ve always been here.

And maybe this is just
A repeat of everything,
Maybe I do deserve better,
But I never wanted better.

I've lost my way now,
Can't get back home,
No matter how far I travel
It's never far enough.

I'm running to the place,
The one you once called home,
And I can't stop from screaming your name,
But I know you won't be there....


Details | Lyric | |

Final Day

Put the blindfold on your eyes
as you try to hide from all of your fears
Shortcomings and bad luck
have you falling to your knees
as all you’ve ever hoped and dreamed
all you’ve ever loved and needed
has slowly fallen into the depths of what can never be 
Just curl up inside yourself
hidden from your loved ones’ view
The doors are locked inside
as you slowly harden against all the prying eyes
You just can’t force yourself to face
your crying eyes in the mirror anymore
The blurry image staring back at you
can’t drown away the feelings that you have
And no matter what pain you cause
it never hurts enough
It never keeps yourself at bay
And so you're stuck in the prison walls you built yourself
trapped within your own mind
And while you’ve more than served your time
there’s no escaping this
And as you fall unto the floor
as you can no longer take the pain anymore
and bash your fists into the ground
with tears of despair flowing down
you feel your final hope die away
and so you let yourself and soul slip away
making this your final day


Details | Rhyme | |

Desire tags prt 2 lyrics

I know i showed you how to deal with false friends as false as their words are
as far as their heart is from you, but here i am bearing all not even caring who hears me
as long as you hear me say i love you, drink a shot of vodka to chase the pain away, text you then step away, do you even listen to everything i say to you, its real threats, real situations, real friend that i am still, im not saying im the realist mofo but i fight his ass with spyglass spyware, the fox is always chased by hounds girl, and the fox dosnt always get away unless your there to run too, not a coward to run from, i just like to be tricky evasive as my pain flows, in case you think isay gold, love is not something that can be purchased, as i search your heart girl i find love there, well said spoken so elegantly, words beating on the door of your heart, you say its okay just come in, im getting my hair done, im thinking when i get the chance i will come see you, well we will see soon if im even here, i may have to go away, its okay i guess God says to tell you that i care and think about you all the time,  i know i fell two hearts break will they ever heal, im still the same man and i have a lot of love for you, bye bye see you on another day who knows when, I hope the Lord makes me into what He said He was, A Man of God, I dont mock Him, im just still the same old sinner i always was, i put it all in the Lords hands, i pray to be a good father a good son, a good man because u need one, and yes im still the same Tim the one that still feels your pain still.       R&B Beat Desire Tags. BlitzBeats. com


Details | Lyric | |

Participation For Anticipation

To me you are my destination
And to you I am 
A target of destruction

To me you are a friendly union
And to you I am
Just a time pass combination

We are both human creation
So why this is
Such an agonizing confusion

God has gifted determination
To both of us
To become a lovable inspiration

But we are showing indignation
By deliberately
Forgetting humanity aspiration

We are failed in the examination
Given by the Lord
By showing our foul resignation

Let’s come by for a culmination
To represent our
True account of the unification


Details | Lyric | |

Infliction

Pain and Hurt is the worse

Especially when inflicted by the one you love the most

Then the cycle begins--- you hurt me--- I hurt you

But if you become the inflictor should you too?

Do what that person did to you Amplified

Take out that pain and anger until the score is Tied

But does that really make it even

When the damage of the pain still haunts like a demon

I know pain and hurt firsthand

I'm like a pin-cushion, I have taken more than I can stand

Now I get to decide how to even the score

Two choices- turn to a whore- or walk out the door

Either choice I decide though will still inflict pain

But would you stay & forgive me - or do the same

Oh my bad you don't get a choice right

I stayed through the pain and hurt does that make it alright?

Did you think years later your actions would have this response?

I'm human and I hurt too - Painful

Now I'm dishing it out verbally and you can't stand it

Well to you I say this is the person you created

I know---- She's Bold- Creative- and you hate it

You see the Jaini YOU ALL thought you knew so well

 In the end time will telll

All you thought you knew bout her has been replaced

She did some soul searching and instead of hiding she's in your face

Bold isn't she---- To say the least

Anything other than that would be of the least

I've taken all the pain and hurt

Dug a 6- foot hole and put them in the dirt

Placed a Tombstone on it that READS:

"Buried- Hurt & Pain

"Dig up at your own risk--- As there are no human remains

She stands before you "smiling" stronger than ever

Saying "thought pain and hurt would break me"NO NEVER


Details | Lyric | |

Fourth

Swamped within my disbelief, alright
Tides have changed too quick for me to see
My socks are soaked and clinging to my skin
Next moment, they're threadbare and they're dry
Just can't predict

Another moment, another funeral
Under the knife, another removal
Push me into this black night and I'll fall into the morning light
Four years of running and I haven't moved at all
Now I'll finally trip and fall

Hooked into a machine to survive
Drip the sweet illusions in my dreams
I see the situation's getting worse
Even if I wanted to escape
I'd tear it out

From a user to an addict
The stoic world before me restricts
Stumbling in perfect night, just begging to see morning light
The light in the tunnel turned out to be a train
My running was in vain

Take the tubes out, they're not helping
It all still feels like it's a scalping
Shoot me into the abyss, it cannot be much worse than this
Push me over so I won't feel a thing
Like a glass of Novocaine


Details | Lyric | |

To Fine The Truth

As I stand on the hill of enlightenment,
My eyes showered with the sadness of humanity,
I see the pain cast down from that which has pointed himself,
He casts a power that is with approach,
Thou humanity fights with the fear of damnation,
The struggles with their souls are relentless, 
All the time he basks in the joy of the fear of the unknown,
He segregates man from women and children are absolute,
He strikes down all that oppose him with no mercy,
Using the mislead like puppets believing all the wile there just,
His superposition is unrevealing to humanity’s cries for help,
But as I fall to my knee’s perfused in my unending sorrow, 
I see a ray of light shining up from his darkness,
I can’t help but to wonder if this is just another one of his tricks.
But just then I feel a warm touch on my shoulder,
The relief that I am not alone any more is over whelming,
I turn to see there are so many who have seen the light,
We stand to say and to proclaim,
No more shall we bow down to you and your true darkness,
No more will humanity be fooled with your lies,
No more will your pain of segregation continual,
We are free and so shall we free others in time.
Leave us and return here no more.


Details | Lyric | |

Tragedy in ReVeRsE

You make me feel so complete You brought me up to my feet You’re the good company that I’d like to greet I shouldn’t ever doubt you – you’re such a treat
I tried so hard not to cry… I ask myself why…why do I lie To myself…I’m living my fantasy On my own…I’m full of glee, but I feel slight melancholy I feel this bittersweet sorrow brew inside of me Looking forward to tomorrow’s yesterday…I’d rather live in the present than dwell in the past…masked with happy reminiscences & grief-stricken reverie You quench me with serpentine poetry You gave in to gravity I tried so hard to not let you down I ask myself, why do I wear this frown? It should be upside down instead I’m trying to shoo away the ghosts of the past, Rehearsing dread In my head In my head In my head
In my head, there’s voices in my head, Telling me that I’m not good enough in anyone’s eyes In my head, I tell them off in my head, Saying that their callous fiends and quit rehearsing lies Quit rehearsing lies in my head…in my head… I hear your echoing empathy on cloud seven Fly down to me, you shady, heartrending raven You make me experience cloud seven You brought me to your heaven
I tried so hard to not let you down I ask myself, why do I wear this frown? It should be upside down instead I’m trying to shoo away the ghosts of the past, Rehearsing dread In my head In my head In my head In my mind’s eye…in my mind’s eye, (I try to fly with my might...afraid to fly too high) I fly like an eagle with confidence – oh so wondrous, Caught in the current of the aqua-blue sky (I try my hardest to be an optimistic light to all who pass me by) This liberty is beyond marvelous – oh so marvelous! Your words implant seeds of growth Your eyes, an undying oath I tried so hard to not let you down I ask myself, why do I wear this frown? It should be upside down instead I’m trying to shoo away the ghosts of the past, Rehearsing dread In my head In my head In my head
I can’t put my racing thoughts to bed I must be dreaming or something…give me a reason to see the light in goodbye I will try to be humble – I’ll not puff up like bread Don’t treat me like crumbs of deception – don’t shoo me away like I’m some bothersome fly
I tried so hard to not let you down I ask myself, why do I wear this frown? It should be upside down instead I’m trying to shoo away the ghosts of the past, Rehearsing dread In my head In my head In my head
I tried so hard not to cry… I ask myself why…why do I lie To myself…I’m living my fantasy…drowning in ecstasy On my own…I’m full of glee, but I feel slight melancholy You melted my heart of ice I’m your living sacrifice You watched over me with glistening eyes Your warmth never screams goodbyes
I feel these mixed emotions… I’m breaking up the clash between two oceans
You make me feel so complete You brought me up to my feet You motivated me to fight the good fight After all was said and done, we took divine flight You brought me to your heaven… You weaved an upside down frown on my face This happiness has no end…not even Death can make us part – we won the race! You make me feel so complete You make me feel whole again – you’re so neat! You brought us luck alone the way…I smile all day today We earned a prize – vast grace – it’s priceless I must say


Details | Lyric | |

The Book of You

I see you, more than you understand
Your heart, your soul, its like the perfect book

Your heart it beats and yet you do not live
Why do you resign yourself to such a fate,
A fate, an attempt at life that is such a waste

I know in your heart you wish things where different
Wish the past had not happened, 
Wished that your heart did not ache so much

This wish is futile, to wish your heart away is to hide
Do not hide from what enriches your life
You will forever remember this
Learn from these pages in your book 

Yet that crippling pain is likely the purest emotion you have felt
I am here staring into you, reading you

I see your soul for what it is,
It is struggling to restore your shattered heart
Your greatest weakness is your fear

You fear for what can be, for the next pain
So many times you have been shattered
Many times broken and defeated

But you must learn to fight back
Learning that pain is only the beginning is the only way

Without this I doubt your heart or your soul will survive
Survive the apocalypse of your life, fate has not ended it
This is after all just the beginning of your future

I beg you to continue your life,
I yearn to read into your heart, mind and soul more

Please forgive my selfishness but I need you to continue
The waste of your heart is too much
The waste of a soul like yours is a shame

I will pass you the string for which to sew your heart
I will pass you each piece, each shard of your soul
Allow yourself time to heal,
The process is only as slow as you make it

Demand your heart to listen to your mind
Falling back into the pit of despair is truly mad
If you allow yourself to fall within its inky depths
Then forever will its dark tentacles enwrap your heart

You have felt the pain now, felt it keenly
Do not fall into vengeance, it is seductive, it is sweet
But it is a short reprieve from the darkness

Take heart, the good die young is what we're told
The better die last.
The best live eternal in their love, for true love is eternal
That love will forever last in another’s hear.

Do not give in to pain,
Do not give in to hate,
Give in to your recovery.


Details | Lyric | |

Remember

Lets take a step in time

to way back when

and remember everything

all the fun we had back then

 

And although the bad

even still hurts til now

we shall remember it in glory

we will remember it right now

 

Remember

the times of your past

from swinging on the swings

til the moonlight hit the path

Remember

those microscopic things

that changed the way that you are today

remember

 

Climbing up those mountains

to getting so drunk

screaming your heart out

and falling on your butt

through all the pain and happiness

ill sure never forget anything

or anyone

remember

 

I want to freeze the universe

I want to stay and still learn

I wish to see what was forgotten

I wish to be right there again

I need to remember again

 

Remember

the times of your past

from swinging on the swings

til the moonlight hit the path

Remember

those microscopic things

that changed the way that you are today

remember

 

In this life ive learned a good thing

to live through the pain and then forgive

living your life while loving everything

no matter how much it hurt

and in the end all you gotta do is

remember

 

Remember

the times of your past

from swinging on the swings

til the moonlight hit the path

Remember

those microscopic things

that changed the way that you are today

so just remember


Details | Lyric | |

Casting My Cares

Peering down the many years,
Scorning at the countless tears.
This itch in my soul
Is screaming to come out.
This bitterness digs me in a hole
Drowning in a sea of doubt.
My demons rage within me
Pulling me back to the child I used to be.
I thirst to win the race,
My heart yeans to see Your face.
But my strength fails and I can’t move farther.
I fear I’m only treading water.
I can’t shake the restlessness in my soul
And the many sleepless nights begin to take its toll.
I stand defeated as my own enemy,
As if all I was taught is but a faint memory.
And the salt in my wounds burns more and more
The only way out is to give up all I’m fighting for.
Empty myself of all selfish ambition
And open myself to quiet submission.
The burden is heavy, but it’s not mine to bare,
Laying down pain for a grace so unfair.
As I cast my cares to the only One who can heal
Peace fills in what I feel.


Details | Lyric | |

The Sixes and Sevens Veil

All of those words and emotions Are tired of lingering in my throat and Mind I want to caress them onto you But how can I? Anon. there might be a time in our days I want to tell you-- I'm worthless, Broken, Diedre, Torned, Discarded, Abuse The past shouldn't control the present but it lingers in my spirit The words need to come out The Darkness with Them What if the truth couldn't set me free, save me from this candled day Underneath the Grove lies something dark, haunted, and confused Hidden in Life aren't we all abused Why can't Eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil I can't discard the decay But I'm still entrouved by the past days why can't eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil Shrouded against our will too scared to show our bare Vulnerable Shadowself It was the ignorance's bliss that caught you The Knowledge creates a burden Too Difficult to Maintain or was it I? trying to be part of your soul The Decay of Your Heart Sadness can be cured by a few words Despair is a disease of the Knife The Eclipse stole the Sun's Sinlight Underneath the Grove lies something dark, haunted, and confused Hidden in Life aren't we all abused Why can't Eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil I can't discard the decay But I'm still entrouved by the past days why can't eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil You can to try to condemn the pain Inside But only I can feel the Decay of my heart I know the quill is better than the razor But only I can feel the Decay of my heart Remember your eyes are hazed by bias lies But only I can feel the Decay of my heart Underneath the Grove lies something dark, haunted, and confused Hidden in Life aren't we all abused Why can't Eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil I can't discard the decay But I'm still entrouved by the past days why can't eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil You can to try to condemn the pain Inside But only I can feel the Decay of my heart I know the quill is better than the razor But only I can feel the Decay of my heart Remember your eyes are hazed by bias lies But only I can feel the Decay of my heart


Details | Lyric | |

Deteriorate

Cant build a thing
The chains holding me down
Have slowly rotted over time
I need a soul that carries on through the pain (when the walls start collapsing again)
Give me a heart the ceases to fail
Despite the infection within

Dont take for granted this world we live in
Nevermind the fragile dirt we all end in

Time has had its way with me
The trail ive walked down
Has Fastly Deteriorated
I need a soul that carries on through the pain (when the walls start collapsing again)
Give me a heart that ceases to fail
Despite what you will find in me

Dont take for granted this world we live in
Nevermind the fragile dirt we all end in


Details | Lyric | |

Check Your Heart for Monsters

There's no need to hide
when it's dark outside,
for the real monsters
dwell within you.
Night or Light,
Fight or Flight,
he cannot be escaped.
There is no solace in
the rays of light,
no sanctuary in the moon
or stars.
Cold or Hot,
Ready or Not,
the Beast will always find you.


Details | Lyric | |

Pain

Pain is all I can feel
In my heart
In my soul
In me

Pain is such a hurtful thing
I wish I was free
To be happy
To live

But all now that had been left behind
I was falling to pieces again and again
The world became my enemy
And Pain is what i will always gain

To live
To Be
What I want to Be
But There's Pain In me


Details | Lyric | |

across the line my version

in this sandsea
of darkness
lieing with a pain across his cheast
pretending he is heartless
as a fire flashes from the sky
he was fragile
and frozen
when paranioa took away his friend
and now he is somehow more broken

he is the waiting for the end of his demise
holding onto all of his goodbyes
holding his fate across the line

slowly
breaking
lieing with a pain across her chest
she wakes with her craving
as the fire burns her eye
she was fragile
and frozen
when deaths grip took away her friend
and now shes somehow more broken

she is waiting for the end of her demise 
holding onto all of her goodbyes
holding death across the line

*this is a song by linkin park off the underground album but i did alter it somewhat i 
did not create the song only changed some of the lyrics*


Details | Lyric | |

Broken Again

crashed down burning
pain denotes yearning
circling down, down, down...
smile turns into a frown
and crying from trying
broken again....

overwhelming never ceases
as i spill out into pieces
and broken is shattered
so much for all that mattered
returns pain in the refrain
broken again...

It isn't so much that I feel it
as much as its stays unfixed
Its not so much that I can't think
its the fact that I stay mixed

spread out in all about,
are many parts of me,
fragments suffering in doubt,
and it's all I can see,
with care and very aware,
Broken again....

only changing into what breaks,
not knowing what it takes,
losing the will to live still,
still becomes a twisted ill,
no ground all around,
broken again...

It isn't so much that I feel it
as much as its stays unfixed.
It's not so much that I can't think,
it's the fact that I stay mixed.


the never ending pain is driving me insane
what spiritually can I gain?

I try to shatter back the latter hac into my soul
pray to God, give the yes nod, and surrender control

It isn't so much that I feel it
as much as its stays unfixed
Its not so much that I can't think
its the fact that I stay mixed
Broken again...


Details | Lyric | |

Untitled1

It hurts inside 
when you decide
I've lied.
Everything goes wrong
I've ached to long
I'm strong.
but I'll tell you dear
I need you here
Right near.
All this pain inside
All this pain outside
Too much pain inside
All my pain I hide



Details | Lyric | |

Never hit rock bottom

You hurt me so bad I don't know what to do
It's like flying a million miles above, high on love
then jumping without a parachute
But again and again you break my fall
Then it's like the pain never happened at all

You let me down and I go falling
But through the tears, your name, i'm still calling
In front of me, our times together flash
And I just know i'm going to crash
But then you hold me near and erase all the fears
What was wrong, i'd already forgotten
And again I realize, i'll never hit rock bottom

baby, this love is so unpredictable
With a mix of pain and pleasure, it's unbelievable
You love me, you don't, you'll break my heart, you won't
So many thoughts run through my head
But you leave me with just one when I lay down each night for bead
No matter what we'll never hit rock bottom

Honey, together we belong
This love has got to be strong
Cause no matter how we fight
We are in eachother's arms by the end of the night

Without you I wouldn't know what to do
I know we'll make it through
When at the end of each day of pain
There is still happiness to be found
When my life has turned upside down
And my world is shadowed and dark
You light the way and mend my heart

So I still believe
That we'll spend this life together, you and me
Cause the assurance i've still gotten
That when I fall you'll never let me hit rock bottom.....


Details | Lyric | |

Mixed Rainbow, on a white day

  I live in a world of colors 
Always changing,
Lighter colors symbolizes the beauty in 
My life that is easily hidden
Locked up, unseen, seen right through
Never shone again, the best moments gone.
 The dull colors lighten up my life. I see more of myself
   They mix and create, the colors everyone
Loves and Hates
 Today my color is white, unclear, and can been easily marked. 
   One minute I’m fine, the next I’m lost in colors. Never finding my true color. 
  Tomorrow my color will be marked X, Not knowing what that day will bring. 
  Colors shape
  My world
Each person has, 
a giant Marker, Scribbling, Making, Shaping all that I am,
 Permanently
Never looking back.

  Colors. 
What beautiful things. To open your life with New. 
So perfect, Everyone wants the whole rainbow.
 This is what I see. Why this world holds so much pain and emptiness, 
 Everyone is born with one color!
 One. 
 I’m sure you will ask me, “But I thought you said you have many colors, and that they are always changing?”
  Yes. 
 And that’s the problem. 
A rainbow is not meant to mix
You get dark colors, colors no one can control.
 Black- By itself, harmless. Add red or green….
 Pain and suffering 
  Brown- By it’s self, ugly. Add Pink or yellow…. 
Lying and unforgiving 
I could go on.
But what’s the point, 
My color is mixed
Colors too hard to live with,
I’m Sick. 
 Too many markers, and not enough paper. 


Details | Lyric | |

I mostly write songs so this is a song I wrote called My Own Bliss

Deeper than I've ever cut 
I'm tired of these nights alone 
But I don't know what 
To do to make it on my own 

I've tried and tried 
To find a way through 
Then I cried and cried 
Cuz I always miss you 

Chorus: 
When will that day come 
When will I find I'm better off without 
Can I not be numb 
And still find my own way out 
Cuz I'm tired of fighting this rain 
Through this storm of ugliness 
Right now all I feel is pain 
So when will I find my own bliss 

Verse 2: 
Sure I'm stronger than I used to be 
And I've come a long way 
But how can I not see 
The happiness of that final day 

Is fate bringing me closer 
Or will it be like it was before 
Maybe I'll look back and this will all be a blur 
All I know is I don't want to hurt anymore!! 


Chorus x2 

Bridge: 
Tell me when does it end 
The pain you caused me 
While pretending to be my friend 
Now that I've broken away and I'm free 

You damaged me deep inside 
It's taken a while to mend it 
But it's too hard to completely hide 
And I will never ever forget 


Details | Lyric | |

Great Crohns Adventure

     THE GREAT CROHNS ADVENTURE

You shake. You sweat. You ain't dead yet
But you've died a thousand times a day.
You smile at everyone you meet
But when you cross the street
You hope a trucik gets in your way.

You don't know when it came to you
it's always been your closest friend,
and all the pain you're going through'
reminds you what you're going to,
a time when friendships never end.

You curse. You swear. You pray to die
there in the bathroom, you know why.
and suddenly, you have another friend,
the pouch you'll wear, until your end,
the pouch you'll wear, until your end.

But sadness is a blessing from
A poets words, and from a song
If you can write these words into
the poetry that comes from you,
then all the pain is worth what comes from you.


Details | Lyric | |

A Mother

The greatest God’s bestowed gift on us is mother.
She who struggles a lot and don’t let pain conquer her children,
She who resists the pain of her children in her womb for nine big months
She who holds the whole world if sees her children in pain,
She is the one whose wish even god cannot disobey
She who often acts lunatic when her children get away from her,
She who never hesitates to stand upon the wishes of her children
She who often tries hard to keep her children on a right path.
She who sees to it that her children are always well-dressed ,
When moving outside their homes.
She who teaches her children all the good manners and deeds,
She who connects her feelings and emotions with her children
She who builds up the character of her children,
And provides the nation a good and responsible citizen
But now a days the scenario is quite different,
These were the things of the past tenurant.
Mother remained the same,
But her children have taunted her fame.
Now the children behave in an ill manner,
With their mothers who used to teach them good manners.
With the fast passage of time,
And unexpected growth and development of our world
Technology and science is the thing that conquers the whole blurred.
With no one left thinking about their mothers,
Who once upon a time laid down her life 
For their happiness and well being in the future.


Details | Lyric | |

A Song

I write this words
Words underneath me
Words Within my Soul
I am trying to Set Free

I am writing a song
A song about you
A song that will change my feelings
To nothing new

I am trying to feel better
I am trying to feel good
But you always be my fear
And destroys all my mood

The days are getting darker
And all dreams I wished had fled away
I do not want to know you
But fate has been so cruel to me these days

I will a write a song
A Song that will show you
How much pain I have in me
How much pain you never even knew

These words I wrote
The paper that I hold
I am strumming my guitar
And I am trying to Show

These words of me...
The song of you...
These tunes from me..

This song is for you.


Details | I do not know? | |

Over

It's over now
I've spent days wondering how it could have gone
I've spent nights crying out my heart
The love that almost was

You were a chilly breeze
My heart would shiver
We were over
I've had time to think that over
And I'm okay that's it over

You
You used me when I was giving my soul to you
I can't believe all I let you put me through
I use to mourn 
And I've had time to think it over
Enough time to learn from a burn
A bleeding wound that's closed up
The mark's still there but the pain is gone
It's over now
It's over now

I think I've moved on from the black hole
I'm in a different place
New reason to smile now
I guess I'm okay
It's a brand new day
The dark of night is over
It's over now
It's over now

You
You used me when I was giving my soul to you
I can't believe all I let you put me through
I use to mourn 
And I've had time to think it over
Enough time to learn from a burn
A bleeding wound that's closed up
The mark's still there but the pain is gone
It's over now
It's over now

I can't wait 
I can't wait for the nights to be wild
The ones I wasted on you
It's my life 
And it's without you
We're over
Whatever we were
We're over

It's over
I've had time to think it over
and I'm okay that it's over


Details | Lyric | |

Jisei

Phantoms, whirling
Beyond my grasp as I stroke the sky
Of familiar faces
Whom vanished from sight as our bonds died

Day in, day out
Waking up just to fall asleep again
Where is there meaning
When life exists just to end

Bonds of iron
Of friends who said we'd never forget what we had
Lost to ages
Lost beneath the waves in black cloth clad

Now where do I stand?
Alone with memories
Of flames and peacefulness
Of love and lust

Can you hear me talking?
Through time and space again
This Jisei of mine
Would be my only comfort in this world of solitude

My red flame, so dear
Dragged me down when I tried to keep us both alive
Lays beside me
Both beyond wasted and we both survived

A streak of pink light
Flashed before my eyes and was gone before I could blink
Reached out to me
But vanished before my eyes before I had a chance to think

Koibito
We traded scars together for an entire year
Alluring senpai
Her final mark on me left me stranded with my fears

Westward ally
Opened up my mind to how this world works
Marching forward
Swimming to tomorrow while blinding by the murk

And what of tomorrow?
My life predicted by
The ways of the world
Wake up just to fall asleep

Can you hear me talking?
Through life and death again
This Jisei of mine
Would be my only comfort in this game of mice and men


Details | Lyric | |

Burn A Memory

tears...
filled with the years of a love lost
..and of the cost
they have shed as i have bled
-- left scarred with wounds that never heal --
the kind of stuff that stays in your head
..just can't forget but can never reveal
-- man with an iron will --
determination of a mission
keeps "sanity" at the helm
patience is the struggle
that time must endure
to regain a new life
and a love re-born

*[ chorus ]*
burn a memory to fuel the fire
that drives desire even higher
no matter how much the mind will tire
endure what transpires or be labeled a liar

sworn to a quest with no end
this was known before it began
complete another cycle
and come back empty-handed
then start all over again
..this is how it is
..this is how it's been
good men commit to righteousness
while sinners continue to sin
where shall the pain be sent
to keep the shame dormant?
walking around in circles
feet now swollen and purple
precious time was ill-spent

*[ chorus ]*
burn a memory to fuel the fire
that drives desire even higher
no matter how much the mind will tire
endure what transpires or be labeled a liar

a lesson lived is a lesson learned
to look the other way
your head must turn
and to put it behind you
..just keep on walking...
ignore the ghosts of the past
that keep talking
haunting thoughts of an era forgot
-- some things are better not remembered --
all the blood dropped
from a merciless onslaught
just because no one surrendered
this is when no one wins
the pain still lingers
let's not pretend...
no need to point fingers

*[ chorus ]*
burn a memory to fuel the fire
that drives desire even higher
no matter how much the mind will tire
endure what transpires or be labeled a liar

no coward nor a quitter
more like a go-getter
staying clever is far better
walk with a clean conscience
factor out coincidence
mind set on retrieving the one thing
that is now just a memory
..forever wondering
-- surrender to the suffering --
strong is he
who overcomes misery
and doesn't proceed
to feed on self-pity

~Boz~


Details | Lyric | |

Why?

Why should I speak my heart?
When all I do is love and hate
With all the Love yet all the pain
The pain becomes the shinning knife

The shinning knife that cuts so deep
Oh the pain it hurts me so
Woe is me
Woe is me

What to do when all is done
The pain so deep
The sin so great
The Hate becomes the living grace

What now becomes of my heart?
So sore
So broken
What to do about the pain

To live
To die
What
What about those who care

Right what about those who care 
Are there any who care?
No
I didn't think so

What now
Once more this pain I feel has made me lost
Lost in the past
Lost in the Hate

Nothing more to say
But good bye
FOREVER MORE


Details | Lyric | |

pain

pain is hidden not something i share with the world
it made me who i am today


self concious
hurt
scared
tears

i cant be me because of the pain 
i want to be free but everything
that happens adds another hole 
to my already damaged heart

my pain is like acid it burns

its toxic bottled up inside
stored to keep everyone from seeing its true power

im full of toxic waste
it runs through 

veins 
mind 
heart
leavin a mark wherever it goes

always stored my pain never shown
kept to myself 
none knows the real me 
the me thar hurts inside

they all think im happy
theyll never know the truth

im hurt ill say it but none can feel it 
my pain never shown it belongs to me
it created me pain is who i am

PAIN IS WHO I AM


Details | Lyric | |

In Water and Fire

I won’t flow into the deep, troubled water twice.
I won’t do it again, I promise solemnly.
I regained peace of my soul, but at a price.
Everything I need is to keep balance only.

I won’t fling myself into the fire again
For my burnt heart and my dreams turning into ash.
It hurt me and caused chronic pain and destruction,
Surrounded me and overcame in a flash…

In the elements I had to find some solace.
I lost myself wholly in the fire and water,
I hardly survived the time of pain and madness,
Yet I don’t regret any day and any hour… 


Details | Lyric | |

Choice

I live with the ghost of the promises we broke
And the fear of the pain and regret
I wonder at times if the words we once ryhmed
Are words I'm supposed to forget

You live with the pain of anger in vain
And fear that I'll give up or give in
I'm offering to make up for the pain
But you have to give me a chance again

Inside the confusion lies the answers you need
And until you make up your mind
The love of the past won't let you be free
And the love now is making you blind

Run away, walk away, turn around, stay
But do something that gives you a voice
Don't let others make decisions for you
That should be only your choice

So I wait, and you struggle inside of yourself
Knowing the truth of where your dreams lie
A heart in your hands and one on the shelf
Which will continue or die with goodbye?

So I live with the ghost of the promises we broke
And the fear of the pain and regret
But I remember those times when the words did rhyme
And I know I can never forget


Details | Lyric | |

Please Stay

Creeping gently into sight, warm touch from the distant light.
So far away you have been from this distance.
My presence I send.
So full of good with an evil heart, one day to tear us apart.
When you see it too you'll turn these grey skies blue.
So I'll stay, my presence with you, just for the day.

Come take this pain away from this sky so grey.
I'm screaming to you, please listen to what I say.
Flat top clouds in the sky, tell me your alibi.
What reason for this dark emptiness can you say?
Please go away.

Disappearing out of sight, cool breath felt from the winds might.
Farther away you have yet to go and the distance clings.
You pass so slow.
You're so lost without my presence there, into emptiness I stare.
When you feel it too you'll do what you have to.
So I might, know I care for you, stay for the night.

Come take this pain away from this sky so dark.
I'm screaming for you, please listen to what I say.
Vast black sky so distant, your sparks have left their mark.
What reason for this dark loveliness can you say?
Please go away.

Lost without you, you're lost without me and I need you here with me.
Wash this night away and bring back the skies that cry for a warm touch from the 
distant light.


Details | Rhyme | |

You Feelin' Me?

I'm not critically aclaimed,
I ain't got no money to my name,
I'm having ot hang my head in shame,
there ain't nothin' good about me,
I'll just have to wait for you to see.

I'm going to let you go,
and if you come back, we'll take it slow.
Look into my eyes,
and dang boy, please don't lie,
ah, come on, don' be shy,
tell me how you feel,
and be real.

Lier.

I'm gonna beat you in the head with a giant hammer,
gonna cause a clamor,
I'm gonna drag your body to a hotel,
gonna crack you worse then the liberty bell.

You feelin' me?

I'm gonna stab you in the heart with a lit cigarette,
feel no regret,
I'm gonna scream at you,
and if you run I'll pursue.

You feelin' me?

Oh no, I don't think you see,
nobody lies to me,
I don't think you feelin' me,
I guess I wasn't meant to be on your family tree.

You feelin' me?

What do I have to do to knock some sense into you?
I'll give pain where pain is due,
I'll shoot you in the head with a water gun,
then I'll suffocate you with a hamburger bun,
I'll drown the eyewitness,
then practice physical fitness,
I'll chase you down when you run,
then I'll shoot you with a real gun,
I'll shoot you in the head,
bang, you're dead.

You feelin' me yet?


Details | Lyric | |

When All You Can Do Is Get By

Thrown in the midst of a raging storm
Waiting in line for hope to be reborn
Life was once a world of endless possibilities
Then was crushed with the weight of hopeless realities
It’s the moment I think everything’s going alright
And then I wake up and find I’m losing this fight
It’s the wrench in my plans that changes my life
It’s the question about whether I can pull through this strife
My dreams are crashing all around me
Lost with my potential of what I could be
Emptied of the strength to do my best
Vanished in the trend of survival of the fittest
I can hear the call to rise to the challenge
Echoing in my soul that’s shaken and damaged
I must conquer this battle and meet the test
Search and find where my identity lies among the rest
I need to take a blind leap and hope to fly
When all I can do is just get by


Details | Rhyme | |

We Interrupt This Commercial To Bring You Another Commercial

The light is a game that changed our name
Made our lives this simple stain
Your life is pain I cannot sustain
Born to entertain, drown in the rain

All we do is fight
For what we think is right
Too bored to be suicidal
So denial takes a life

The screen is awake, make no mistake
Drove our minds from our veins
TV mind is all of mankind
Faces cracked and filled with lines
The light is game that changed our name
Made our lives this simple stain

Quietly, the TV bleeds
Bedroom violence all we see
Wish you goodbye, never ask why
We never smile and we never cry
Your life is pain I cannot sustain
Born to entertain, drown in the rain

All we do is fight
For what we think is right
Too bored to be suicidal
So denial takes a life

Our arms are entwined, eyes start to grind
Dilate and understand it lives inside
Volume’s too loud, shut your mouth
Killing time and never doubt
The light is a game that changed our name
Made our lives this simple stain

All we do is fight
For what we think is right
Too bored to be suicidal
So denial takes a life

IV-TV
It’s a life-time guarantee
To a tolerable degree
Why couldn’t you just learn to read?

All we do is fight
For what we think is right
Too bored to be suicidal
So denial takes a life

All we do is die
For what we think is right
Too bored to be suicidal
So denial takes my life


Details | Lyric | |

Road to Redemption

Straining down a path of traps and deceit
I was heading towards the end of me
My reckless abandon led me to defeat
Flooded with lies I failed to see
Choked on the agonies of these misconceived beliefs
Running to escape provided no relief
Haunted by memories of my childhood
I learned to cope through rebellion
Living by the rules of the self
Sensing my depravity there was nothing else
Stringing together the chains that locked me in
These self destructive patterns decomposed me from within
Sincerity lay in a pile of waste
Searching for pleasures that were sweet to taste
Sacrificing integrity to gratify flesh
Blinded and bound to this self pursued mess
Looking down the shattered road I had walked
Was a pale reflection of the life I had stopped
Somber and in horror of the deepest kind
Reaching for a rescue and a sound mind
My pain flowing down in humble tears 
I’m broken down on bended knee
Giving up this bondage I’m facing my fears
Covered in grace I am set free


Details | Lyric | |

To Watch Her Cry

{Verse-1}
This road that we live on
Is filled with deep emotions
It's littered and so far gone
With many little hearts feeling blue
It hurt as she lay dying
from the knots we were tieing
But all her pain is gone
The pain of the cancer she went through

{Chorus}
When she cried at night
And thought I couldn't hear her
She tried to hide the pain she had inside
Then I prayed to the heavens up above
To send down that miracle light
To take away the pain from the one I love
'Cause It hurt me deep inside
To watch her cry

{Verse-2}
She always felt so happy here with me
And when her family told her she should leave
She winked and smiled and said to believe
That it was her who had to live with me
So I'll never forget her beautiful smile
And the love that we shared a little while
Before the cancer took away her touch
And robbed me of the wife I loved so much


{Chorus}
When she cried at night
And thought I couldn't hear her
She tried to hide the pain she had inside
Then I prayed to the heavens up above
To send down that miracle light
To take away the pain from the one I love
'Cause it hurt me deep inside
To watch her cry


(This I wrote while remembering how my wife's Grandfather died of cancer)


Details | Lyric | |

I love you

I say pleasure is pain,
And pain is pleasure,
With the lust remaining the same.

My body against yours,
Your lips pressed against mine,
Sitting here thinking,
This is a sure sign,
That I love you.

The sound of your voice, so deep and soothing,
The only thing that keeps me moving.
Pinch me now, I feel like I'm dreaming,
Or leave me here, safe from screaming.

How can I describe this?
It feels like ecstasy, drowning in your kiss.
Hold me now, forever and a day,
Or let our whole entire lives float away.

Singing softly in your arms,
whispering to the trees, stay from harm.
Dont keep me here forever,
I'll be your sweet surrender.

So hold me now, don't let go,
Let this city of love eternally glow.
Brimming with fire, gold and red,
Until our love is fully fed.

I say pleasure is pain,
And pain is pleasure,
With the lust remaining the same.

My body against yours,
Your lips pressed against mine,
Sitting here thinking,
This is a sure sign,
That I love you.

I love you.


Details | Lyric | |

The Dread to Love

The Dread to Love
The pain to kiss
those lips so soft 
The sparks it brings

The dread the joy
so scared
so painful
the want of love

The cost in smoke
the pleasure it brings
the self hate I hate
for myself the pain

little joy comes of this
only pain and confussion
The doubt gets worse 
the love goes dim

It fades as if it was 
never there

how harsh
how true
the world
so cruel, so harsh
the pain


Details | Lyric | |

Searching



Loving you, for me, is not the chore.
'Tis trying not to love that tests my soul.

Blinded by the thought of having you,
yet, unable to remember my life before.

Stabbing, tearing, wrenching my heart fully,
No peace comes and helplessly, I drown.

Haunted by the thought of never knowing,
The pain and longing are forever growing.
Terrified of the seeds I must be sewing,
The stabbing in my heart is never slowing.

Finding you, for me, is not the chore.
'Tis trying to forget that opens wounds.

Deafened by the sound of your soft voice,
yet, unable to turn my ear for want of more.

Jarring, twisting, warping my soul fully,
No peace comes and helplessly, I fall.

Haunted by the thought of letting go,
The pain and longing in my heart still grow.
Terrified to think that you might know,
And turn away from me when I bestow.





Details | Ballad | |

A Child in War

As the dust burns my weary eyes
I push on and compromise 

Looking for a long lost dream 
Of swimming through the waters clean

Bombs echoing in the distance
Dead and gone in an instance

Praying to god for every breath
A candle lit for every death

It is here I sit all alone 
A heart that burns turns to stone

A concert of horror ringing clear
I run and hide all in fear

I steal and lie to survive 
Of my family I am the only life

Oh! Please set me free
My wish repeated instantly!

In my mind all is rage 
I feel locked up in a cage

When will this nightmare end?
A stray bull dog my only friend

During the nights we stay warm
We help each other through the storms

Our night lights, are burst from your guns
The politicians say we are the ones

The ones who kill day to day
For when I grow up they will pay

My train of thought, pains me now and then
When I know war is a means to an end

Sometimes I try to escape
But I was turned in for a stay

Slaving for the men of war
Sometimes a cook, sometimes a whore

Oh! Please set me free
My wish repeated instantly

I have to kill to get away
I can no longer bear the pain 

My knife slides across their throats
I’m caked in blood that coat’s

Before I could run I heard screaming
I continued my work while the tears were streaming

In a way I am glad I was caught
Now I can join that heavenly lot!

My hound of war was first feed to me
Then I was beat to subdue me!

Almost to the point of certain death
But they tortured my every breath

They kept me breathing for the rope.
They slung my body from the post

I choked and kicked all I could
While the others just watched from where the stood

Before I lost my failing senses 
I prayed to god just to end this

At that moment my prayers were sealed
A boy in the crowd revealed his steel

A rip of pain through the chest
The bullet entered and did its best

For a few days my body was displayed
For those under slavery to see who disobeyed 

After a few days my body was searched
Only a small diary was all the thieves could perch

Meaningless thoughts were rattled out of rhyme
A small short story of the life that was my time

Beckoning to those that are still at war
Freedom is a bullet wound for the soul to finally soar.

Oh! Please set me free
My wish repeated instantly.

That same boy who ended all this pain 
They ended him his efforts never vain






Details | Lyric | |

PAIN

Sometimes we can make
ourselves have pain.
That is what I do.
When I don't want to do 
something, I create pain upon myself.
I don't do it on purpose.
It just must be a reflex.
I can't help myself.
Sometimes it works and
Sometimes it doesn't.
I don't want to do it anymore.
The pain does hurt.


Details | Lyric | |

Hiding

Hiding

There’s another part of me
That feels the insecurities
I try not to show it 
I try not to blow it

I try so hard now
The best way that I know how
I try not to know it 
I try not to show it

I’m hiding the real me
And I don’t want you to see
That I’m hiding all the pain inside
But I no longer want to cry

I’m pretending to be 
Someone who isn’t me
I’m hiding 
Yeah, I’m hiding

I don’t want you to see
What’s really inside of me
I try not to tell you
I know I don’t have to

Did I give it away
Was it something I wanted to say
Do you know what I’m thinking
I feel like I’m sinking

I’m hiding the real me
And I don’t want you to see
That I’m hiding all the pain inside
But I no longer want cry 

I’m pretending to be
Someone who isn’t me
I’m hiding
Oh, I’m hiding

When you look into my eyes
You’re seeing someone filled with lies
When you look at me
That may be all you see

I’m hiding the real me
And I don’t want you to see
That I’m hiding all the pain inside
But I no longer want to cry

I’m pretending to be
Someone who isn’t me
I’m hiding
Yeah I’m hiding


Details | Lyric | |

Path of Life

There’s nobody left that can feel the tide
As the world draws a breath and reshapes our minds
Nothing to see when we try to hide
Because nothing will be if we close our eyes

Not much to say when there’s nothing left
Now we’re talking away as the shadows set 
Where we all pretend that we have our breath
And we decide that none of us knows what’s best

There’s nobody left that can hold their path
Since the fear decided that it would last
Nothing to come if we hold what’s passed
Because nothing can grow when we’re falling back

So much to be when we turn away
Becoming much more to create the day
Where everyone knows that we must repave
The path we deceived at the sight of pain

There is only us and what we create
As the earth sings the song of its timely fate
Reflecting a message that most sedate
And creating the pain that we have of late

The circle of truth that we have deprived
From ourselves feeding pain as we bring the night
There is only us and what we decide
And waking to that is the path of life


Details | Lyric | |

Abscond

I’ll make my own decision to leave or stay
Pack my bags, leave the love, I’ll walk away
I can see your eyes fill with tears and your heart turn cold.

Got my mind on hold, I can see you weep
Then I heard you cry, wave your arms at me
It’s a lifelong pain when love turns away.

I won’t be coming back, you’re all alone
You’ve lost track, no one will know
No one will ever love me nearly as much as you.

Got a brand new heart, threw the old one out
Wore it with no regret, not a single pout
I lost your face in the memories of old.

Like a long lost hero in a fairy tale
Watched your fragile love break and your heart set sail
It’s a lifelong pain when love turns away.

I won’t be coming back, you’re all alone
You’ve lost track, no one will know
No one will ever miss me nearly as much as you.

If you can’t watch your back, love will hold you tight
You’ve lost track, no path in sight
No one will ever hate me nearly as much as you.


Details | Ballad | |

Synching up

Did you ever want to let go
and just be a memory?
Or just so jaded from the world that
you wish you couldn't see?
Anger and hatred ruled over me
easily
Until you came along and saved
me.

I was so conflicted about what was right
and wrong
Was so sick and tired of being swept away
in the darkest of storms.
Your hand it shined as the rain bounced off
the skin
and as our lips embraced a new life
for us was about to begin.

All the pain and misery
Take it all away from me
As i lay down to sleep
our eyes synch together as
do our hearts beat.

Before you everything
felt so blue, felt used
like everything i ever wanted
fell right through.
Then you appeared
out of no where
letting me know that it's you who cared
understanding, never demanding
Showing me in the hardest of times
there's really nothing to fear.

All the pain and misery
Take it all away from me
As i lay down to sleep
our eyes synch together as
do our hearts beat.


Details | Lyric | |

i wish

I wish I never gaved him another chance
my boyfriend for 3 and a half years
he went back to that girl he screwed on me with
emotionally hurt
I shed so many tears
after all the pain
I stood strong and believe
I will find that one
but first I need to get over
the heartaches and pain to move on

time can only make me stronger
healin my woons and movin on
living day by day
prince charming will come my way
there is someone out there for me
but i wont go looking for love
cuz everytime I do
I come across the ones who hurts me...

I wish I never gaved him another chance
my boyfriend for 3 and a half years
he went back to that girl he screwed on me with
emotionally hurt
I shed so many tears
after all the pain
I stood strong and believe
I will find that one
but first I need to get over
the heartaches and pain to move on

its so hard, but im better off without him
I wont look back, I wont think twice
to be with him
my ex tim got the boot
now just let me be
im glad im movin on
to be stress free

I wish I never gaved him another chance
my boyfriend for 3 and a half years
he went back to that girl he screwed on me with
emotionally hurt
I shed so many tears
after all the pain
I stood strong and believe
I will find that one
but first I need to get over
the heartaches and pain to move on


Details | Lyric | |

Unknown Thoughts

     So much goes through my mind
From death, love to hate and pain.
Not sure if it's all about me
Or if it's just simply the way i see it

     I can't help but think of the past.
All the heartbreaks, all the family issues
That I’ve had in the past. 
I don't know what to do or how to act

     With my Father never there and stuck with mom
Always disappointing the family with all of my problems
Having disabilities that interfere with my life
Been going to therapy since I was three

     Now I’m older, and yet still have problems
I have a dad that's always there and doesn't act like a jackass
My life doesn't seem as hard

       Though it is, and now I’m in high school
The hard times have just begun
Yet from all the hard things I’ve faced in life
They only make me stronger

      No pain ever hurts me for I’ve felt it all
From feeling worthless and good for nothing
To being heartbroken and out of place
Lost and unforgiving 
To hate and love 
And pain and pleasure
I felt it all
But what now?


Details | I do not know? | |

Only the Few

I have been hiding 
Waiting and deciding on my next move
Without lying I’ll tell you 
I have been crying 
And dying a little on the inside too 
Oh what to do, nothing but think about you

Always colliding soon the pain may begin subsiding
When I’m finished hiding 
And disguising the demons of my past and new
Can only hope this will not last

Faster falling, always calling 
Upon you, God please give a clue
What should I pursue 
Oh what to do, now just one of the few

Now never ending always bending 
Sending a cry out, hope impending 
Of fending off these demons of new
Oh what to do, without you

Now diminished, hopes are finished
Without out lying I’ll tell you
I have been crying 
And dying a little on the inside too
Oh what to do
When you realize you’re not just the few
You’re just you

I won’t be hiding this pain un-subsiding
Just because its felt by only the few
Even if that means only me and you


Details | Lyric | |

Dealing with pain

Dealing with pain
It's like getting hit with hot boiling water of rain
Pain and sorrow together
Is one of the most difficult things that could happen ever
Just thinking to yourself that you wish that someone could stab you deep inside your
heart, to get rid of pain
Before you drive yourself insane
There is going to be pain and sorrow everyday and every minute
But you can get through this pain and tell the Lord that you did it
You got to pray and pray and pray
Until you see a light at the end of the tunnel
Giving you hints to follow your way into having a  loving bright day
You will still have days where you think that you can just die when you have pain
When these days come
Just  don't  take the Lord in vain
Try to over come this 
Let the Lord do his work
He will save you from the this pain
He will make everything better
Then when he make everything better
You can send the whole world a better letter
About the Lord's love for all people who he cares about 
He cares for you and me and everyone else!
So don't let pain get you down
Just imagine that your pain can be drowned!


Details | Lyric | |

Broken Heart

whn te day i meet yu n ma lfe 
evrythin around me felt so nice 
each day ma heart awaited ur message
n ur voice gave ma life a new passage
all f a sudden u vanished like a hare
besides knowin am te one whom yu much cared
months rolled  on with sleepless night
n i searched yu all te days wit tears filled sight
second time in ma life yu crossed ma eye
holdin ma arms yu said will again never fly
with heart full of love thought i got yu again
but am a poor soul cos i don kno someone already fixed n ur brain
the day whn yu said yu got a pair 
i ws almost dead lke a wrecked chair
i still rem te night whn i was walkin wit yu
yu stoped me n asked whethr am in love on yu
with heart full of pain i burried ma love 
cos i don wanna mke u feel since i thought ur already n love
whn yu said yu started lovin me frm te day we met
i couldn find a word to speak but only wept
the tears in ur eyes showed ur forced to pair wit a wrng one
n i felt te cries frm ur heart askin me to save u frm tht one  
whn ma lips tried to say come with me am there for yu
ur tears said its too late n thy hav already ruined ur life frm yu

whn yu left me alone n road biddin me bye with a false smile 
i got the reason why yu came again in ma life for a while 
its..... for nt to inform me that yu got a pair 
but to know whethr i too love n care yu trully... like yu cared 

if a day comes whn yu couldn bear the pain thy give yu...
jst turn around n check 
        .... i will be there with arms wide open awaitin for yu...


Details | Personification | |

One's Inner Mind

Anger and sadness combined into a blend.
Expressing your feelings that lie within.
Not able to understand or say anything.
Your life you live, the impossible seems like a dream.
Heated and tired of self-playing games.
While hurting others, don't point or say no ones name.
Everyone is or should be treated the same.
Listening to my heart can make a torch burst into flames.
Proving your point on paper, not able to say a word.
Can't understand this feeling, feeling lower than a curb.
Pain is love, but pain can be worser than that.
Because pain falls into anger, leaving sadness without a partner at back.
Feeling lost, helpless and hurt within my eyes, I blink.
Able to stand, but fall within every 5 steps, I sink.
Needing a powerful prayer only signifies that I need God’s help.
Pain and unhappiness is something I've always felt.
Wishing all my inner feelings I couldn’t ever kept.
Wanting to say how I feel, but my words hold me back.
Eager to say something, but there's no love on my track.
The love I had was bunched into a pack.
It was thrown away, while my mind was hacked.
Waiting to speak and let my mind flow and go through.
Still waiting for my impossible dreams to come true.


Details | Lyric | |

The Nature of Pain

I forget
at times 
how much 
this hurts.

Like a butterfly
whose wings have been
torn apart
I sit here
quivering inside
closing my eyes
as I let waves of pain 
wash over me
knowing that I 
cannot ever
overcome
completely.

The nature of pain
is not to destroy
but to make the pained
wish for destruction
as the ocean yearns 
for the shore.

I forget
at times 
how much 
this hurts.

Like a vein to my heart
that has been cut
I am bleeding out 
precious crimson liquid
seeping through my body
filling me with a languor 
so close to pleasure
that it is unbearable
but unmistakable for pain
and that overwhelms
my senses
asking more 
of my empty shell to fill
then I have.

The nature of pain
is to lie quietly by
waiting for the right moment
to show its ugly face
to rear its head
that reminds me so of fear
that holds you in its clutches
thirsting for you to beg
to be
let go.

I forget
at times 
how much 
this hurts.

Like lenses 
placed by fingertip
on lucky eyes
each morning
this pain focuses
sharp and clear
on a pinpoint 
somewhere between
my gut 
and my heart
and I blink 
fitting these contacts
around the iris
so that all the pain
pouring from my eyes
is stopped
held in
pushed back
inside
so that no one sees
except me
through this clarity
newfound
unwelcome.

The nature of pain
is to fall quietly
and hit with a sound
that resounds
through the caverns
of your mind
like the screech
of a trapped
bird of prey.

I forget
at times 
how much 
this hurts.

Like a lonely fish
venturing down
to the bottom of the sea
I did not see 
the creature
fearsome
toothed wide jaw
glowing green light
hanging to light
its gruesome mask
that was hiding
behind that rock
lying in wait
for me to swim 
around the corner
so it could use 
the element of surprise
to take me down
quickly.

The nature of pain
is to systematically
break down
the only part of you
that ever matters
into tiny pieces
not available for recovery
which
even if you could
do not fit together anymore
so much
have they been mangled
by the force of that pain
until there is nothing left
but an intense desire
not to live.

I forget
at times 
how much 
this hurts.

And as I remember
I forget
myself
and I am lost
swirling as this pain
washes over me
overwhelms me
surprises me
and won’t let go.


Details | Lyric | |

The Ultimate Confusion

The ultimate confusion I have again
Not knowing what I want
Such a crime
Such a sin of not knowing who I am

To hurt you the way I did
The cruelty in that way
The unhappiness I still feel
The pain I caused you it hurts me more

It huts me more to know,
That I can't tell you how I feel
With the knowledge of telling you
Will only hurt you more

The break up
The lie
To sit there and tell you
It was just a joke

To tell you now,
I love you more
The pain to see you

The only way to spare you
Is to avoid you
For now on


Details | Lyric | |

A Huge Mistake

A Huge Mistake

Sometimes we really do
What we cannot undo

It is hard to say sorry
Hard to not worry

Difficult to resist 
What you cannot persist

Easy to dwell
When the pain swells

You just have a moment to forget
But you can’t help but regret

A pain resides deep
Deep enough to steal away your sleep

What is it that you have done
What can’t be undone

What is that you said, which makes you so sad
That you wish you could make it un said

Some wishes just remain floating in the air
You Just have to believe, stop and not care.


Details | Lyric | |

The Pain

The sky so dark, the day so bright
The pain you bring the shinning knife
The joy so slim, the pain so deep 
The sun shines yet it be night
The love so tight yet filled with fright
Beyond the fright, beyond the pain, feel the might
The thought so thin and full of whim
The pain, the hate the world so sad


Details | Lyric | |

Broken-hearted

I wonder if you know?
How my heart aches so
There’s nothing I can say
To stop you from carrying on this way
Brought together by fate
A friendship we did create
Sisters to the heart and soul
No one would ever know
Though we didn’t share a blood Mother
But I love you like no other
Threaded together in a life of strife
The pain cuts like a knife
To watch you take those pills
And see you oh so ill
If I could take away the pain 
The pain that makes you think 
I can’t see you sink 
Into a darker dark 
 When did all this start?
My patients are running thin 
Hiding won’t make you win 
This battle of addiction 
Again I have to listen 
To those daily doses of wonder 
and questions that come from under 
Can you feel the braking heart of
your sister? 

 
                                   This was written for my sister who lives with addiction


Details | Lyric | |

Pain Out- Confusion In

My heart still stings
Yet not as bad
The pain has left
The Happiness I see

So far from me it is,
Now going through the Valley of Confusion
The deep valley
Long and dark

Full of doubt, and hate
The journey has just begun
For knowledge I've learned
To learn and move on

To continue the path
Though hard time keep coming
The fight that comes
I'll be ready to fight

The pain has left
But in it's place,
Doubt becomes the pain.
And yet the hate still thrives
Shining so bright
Never leaving just living


Details | Lyric | |

The Hate

The world so sad
The hate so strong
The feelings you bring are full of pain
The pain of hate yet full of love
The love to hate you 
The pain to remember you
The confusing thoughts I have
Once found and yet lost again
The dreams I lost
The pain and hate I gained


Details | Lyric | |

Silent Screams

my heart i have removed
i am sick of being confused
each second of every day
i am tortured by every word
you have ever said

the worst day of my life
keeps rewinding in my head

its too much, more than i can take [ i cant take it]
my patience is running thin [ yeah i cant take it]
any longer and im going to break [well i cant take it]

you cant hear my screams
[all you hear is what you want to hear]
over broken promises and shattered dreams
[but now i have to make it clear]
so listen as i scream these words to you

whats the point in having emotions
when all you feel is pain [im hurting inside]]
and theres no smile left to gain [wheres my smile]

yeah i learned never to get high [never]
because youll always bring me down [bring me down]
well youll always bring me down [well youll always]
yeah and you cant deny it [cant deny it]
its like a bad habit [and you know it]

you cant hear my screams
[all you hear is what you want to hear]
over broken promises and shattered dreams
[but now i have to make it clear]
so listen as i scream these words to you

whats the point in having emotions [the worst day of my life]
when all you feel is pain [keeps rewinding in my head]
and theres no smile left to gain, no smile [the worst day of my life]
well theres no smile, theres no smile [keeps rewinding in my head]

everyday i bled for you [im still bleeding]
while you turned and neglected my screams [im still screaming]
i sat and wished, wished [im still wishing]
yeah im still wishing, [everyday i bled for you]
im still wishing, [everyday i bled for you]
well im still wishing, [everyday i bled for you]
.....still wishing to die


Details | Ballad | |

What she said

She looked at me with a smile
im pregnant is what she said
What ive wanted all the while
being a father going through my head
But when she told me she miscarried
my fist banged into the floor
And in the corner head in my knees buried
as my hopes had flew out of the door.

Wasn't i good enough to be a dad
or was it just not my right
All the fights they got so bad
Until i finally saw the light
You lied about the babies
Never pregnant at all
Holding my hopes up to my head like a gun
so i would feel like leaving anymore.
How could you do this to me?
I ask myself this today
Do you know how hard it was for me?
Visiting a grave where no baby was contained?

She said, and she lied
All these times
Just to get me to stay.
She said it over and over
And each time it would sting
And the pain never goes away.

She used this line more times
i was to immature
She told me the details of what
they all looked like
Loved to always see me hurt
And take away all my fight.
Breaking my heart so many times
Let my dreams and hopes to die
Are you happy with yourself?
Making up things now to someone else?
As of this moment i am done with you
Apologize if you must there's nothing you can do.
Even though there were no babies i still honor those that died.
Placing little race cars and flowers on the stones of those
who just fought but couldn't survive.

She said, and she lied
All these times
Just to get me to stay.
She said it over and over
And each time it would sting
And the pain never goes away.


Details | Lyric | |

Escape

Pills in hand
Feeling so damned
Holding back tears from her eyes

To numb the pain
To drive her sane
This salvation she seeks never comes for her

He whispers from across a crowded room
do you feel it yet?
do you feel it yet?

She lays there alone, in her broken home
Sighing half awake, this pain she can not fake
Her escape isn't that far away

She grabs the bottle and pours some in her hand 
Closes her eyes, reality she can not stand 
and from across the room, she hears it clear
Do you feel it yet?
Do you feel it yet?

Everything starts repeating in her head
She screams silently wishing she was dead
Rolling in pain
To her insanity is sane
This pain she can not fake.

Listening for nothing
she hears it again
Do you feel it yet?
feel it yet?










Details | Lyric | |

Sorrow

No more pain
No more tears
No more hiding from my fears

All my doubts plant their seeds
My heart so torn that it bleeds

So much pain without end
My broken soul shall never mend

My sorrow flows from my chest
My heart no longer beats beneath my breast

My last breath and my pain will cease
My end has come and now there is peace.


Details | Lyric | |

LOVE ME PAST THE PAIN

Lord I come to you in prayer at this moment
You already know what I need but you need me to ask anyway
So I come to you, I come to you as your willing and humble servant
I'm here to ask you God. Please love me, love me past the pain

The pain of the childhood abuse that I just can't seem to let go of 
God please give me the strength to let go and be free
Please soften my heart for the mother who let it happen
Love me past this pain so I can be the man Your Word said I'm supposed to be

For any sin I committed, knowingly or unknowingly, I ask you to forgive me 
Forgive me as I ask for help in forgiving those who have sinned against me
Please lift this weight off my heart, O Father God
That will allow me to the Christian man you have called me to be 

Father I need help to get rid of this hatred within my soul 
For Your Word says to strip off every weight that hinders us 
And I realize that I can't do it without you Father 
For you are truly the only one that can make me whole

Sometimes I feel that life is too much for me too bear
And I feel as though I'm outta my mind and going insane
But you Father God are always there to let me know that you and you alone 
Are the only one that can love me past the pain

Father help me to let go of a childhood lost forever
Help me forget those cries for help that went out in vain
You are the one that can look into my eyes and see the windows to my soul
And I see through teary eyes that only you can love me past the pain

Help me let go of the anger I have for those who turned their backs on me 
For I now know that they couldn't help me because they are not you 
Please God, help me to be the person you have anointed me to be 
I come to you for guidance when I don't know what to do

Your Word says that you will never leave nor forsake me 
And that all I have to do is bring my cares and worries to you
So I bring them to you now, help me Father, with this burden
You're the one I come to when I don't know what to do 

I thank you Father for listening to my cries
For I know when I pray it's never in vain
I usually don't take the time to thank you
But now I say thank you Father, thank you for loving me past the pain


Details | Lyric | |

Little jolly roger dog...

I am my mums' 
little jolly roger dog, 
have 4 legs ones' broke, 

I often forget the pain I'm in 
off on a tandem I'll go 

I have good days 
when I feel gay 
run and fro lick 
like I used to play 

my mum has me on medication, 
had to date two operations, 

But what am I to do? 
mum has short end all my walks 
to limit strain, and ongoing pain 

on short walks now, we see the locals, 
exchange our how you dos' 
other exciting things include 
sniffs and smells I stop to do 
doggy dos, 

limitations now run rife, 
the cookie jar is my daily highlight, 

the vet has done all he could, 
except for a leg made of wood, 

I'm on new medication 
natural muscle replacement 
if I could get this leg stronger 
I could go on walks longer 

eight years ago I adopted mum 
she liked me from the start, 
she like the way I stuck up for myself 
she knew that I had spark, 

an SPCA puppy, dumped in a sack 
there I was left for dead 
my life hanging by a thread 

I am a cross bred moggy 
my mum is my best friend 
I'll love and protect her 
loyally til the very end 

I'll always be at her side 
her hairy handsome boy 
even without all my legs 
my loyalty for her 
no one can destroy 

Life is not too boring, but now a little slow 
I don't feel crippled, sometimes, miserable 
I definitely don't feel baron, 
as long as I have my master 
my mum, my best friend, my sharon 


Details | Lyric | |

Never to be loved

This love could never be 
And you proved it to be so
The pain of love has just begun
The hate to love, the love to hate

The faith you brought
The hope I lost
This feeling of love has turned to hate
It matters not
For it will never change

I tried to love 
I tried to trust
It matters not
 For it’s too late

You tried 
And I tried 
But, it will never be the same

You showed me what I had
But, what I didn’t was to much

The passion I never had 
The passion I will never find
What does it matter?
The pain to great
The love so dim
And the hate so strong

Nothing to do 
But, love and hate


Details | Classicism | |

Pain Inside

The pain inside cuts me like a razor

As the pain grows, the deeper the razor goes

You feel like you're going insane

You want to stop but there is still the pain

And inside your heart that razor remains

Till the day you figure out why

That pain inside cuts you inside


Details | I do not know? | |

As The Walls Close In

As the walls close in
my world is getting smaller
Beads of sweat drop from my head
down to my collar
 
I don't know what to do anymore
I feel like my end is coming soon
I no longer see the light ahead
I no longer see the moon
 
In total darkness I stand
I no longer see clear
I breathe as if to die
cuz my soul is in fear
 
My heart starts to pound
as if to come our my chest
The pain is so immense
will I be put to rest
 
As the walls close in
I have no one to turn too
My mind is going crazy
I'm lost I don't have a clue
 
I'm standing right here
searching for some salvation
I look everywhere I can
with deep anticipation
 
My eyes full of tears
my fists clenched real tight
Anger within me burns
things don't feel right
 
Why do I feel this way
my mind starts to spin
My emotions go crazy
I want to commit sin
 
As the walls close in
my mind looses control
I'm begging for mercy
as my heart grows cold
 
I fall to my knees
I'm no longer alert
I know as I'm here
this pain has me hurt
 
I'm wounded I'm scarred
blood slowly falls from me
The pain is so strong
it has eaten me alive as you see
 
I can no longer fight it away
cant stand strong
I been fighting this battle
for just too damn long
 
Time for me to take one last breath
and just close my eyes
Let my soul go away
as the rest of me dies


Details | Lyric | |

Lonely and Lost

I feel so lost
never to find my way
stuck in love
stuck in pain
I just want someone there
someone that I can lean on
someone that I can trust
someone I can talk to about everything
I want someone to be there for me when I feel weak
like all the times I feel like I can't go on
I just want someone there to care for me and to cheer me up 
when I feel blue to make me smile
to wipe my tears from my eyes when I cry
to tell me every will be okay
someone to hold me close and never letting me go
telling me something and meaning it
I don't want to be lonely
I just want someone to be there to help me find my way
to help me move on from the past and to think about the future
I don't want the pity I just want to forget the pain
to be set free from all my worries
set free from all the pain I feel with I think about the past
I don't like the pain I just want it to go away and to leave me alone
I feel so sad yet so happy 
I guess the happiness is a good thing but I don't know why
When I think of the past and the loneliness the happiness disappears
like it was never there
pain is never fun and neither is love
you always get hurt


Details | Lyric | |

Just A Touch of Heaven

A little girl late for school one day, running to catch her bus, 
Falls down and scrapes her knee and the tears start to run. 
Then out of no were a man come to aid, he says don't cry my darlin and angels 
lookin your way. 
And he take's her hand an he bends his knee to help the hurt she suffered and to 
take away her fears. 
She looks at him so innocent through eyes so clear and calm, 
Cause she see's a hero in his eyes and he smiles caused he's helped her get 
along. 

Take my hand and I'll guide you there, God's always watching he's always there. 
So when you feel that breeze on that one and only day, he's letting you know he's 
not that far away. 
Just A Touch of Heaven and it will be alright. God help's those in trouble even if it 
takes time. 
Don't loose faith or direction, let the love come from your heart and it will guide 
you to heaven and make you feel alright. 

A mother who's lost her child or a man who's lost his wife, there hurt is the but 
the heartache is miles apart. 
They both want answer's they don't understand, how he could cause this pain 
and how he can't see. 
And the only answer he can give them is always the same. 
I know I've hurt you but I've helped them ease there pain, it was cruel to let them 
suffer so the angels brought them to me. 
I will cure there pain and help you heal your hurt if only you would listen and take 
me at my word. 

So, just take my hand and I'll guide you there. 
I'm always's watching, I'm always's there. 
When you feel that breeze it's just my reassurance, it's to give you strength and 
added courage. 
Just A Touch of Heaven is all it will ever take, I'll always help those in trouble no 
matter what it take's. 
Never loose faith in who I am, never loose sight or direction. 

I'll always have room in my kingdom, heaven's a very big place, and my angel's 
are always looking to also come to your aid. 


Details | Lyric | |

Tears

Why must I
Shed these tears
They break away,
Break away from me
Why cant I 
Loudly scream,
Im so silent,
So serene

I wish I could just
Break away from me
I wish this pain would
Fly away from me
I want no more tears
No more
No more
No more tears

Why can't you 
Look in the mirror
Look at you
Look at yourself
Why must you
Lie like this to me
Look me in the eye
Look me straight in the eye

I wish I could just
Break away from me
I wish this pain would
Fly away from me
I want no more tears 
No more 
No more
No more tears

If you could see me as I am
You would Love me
If you could see yourself as you are
You would understand why
Understand why I Love you

I Love you
I Love you
I Love you

And no I wont .  .  .

       STOP!


Details | Lyric | |

Pain

I have all this pain when I hear your name
I cry when I think about all the happy times
I get mad every I think of what you did to me
To you, you did nothing wrong
But to me you hurt me more then you know
Yet I can't help but think it's all my fault
If I wouldn't have let you into my heart you would have never been able to break it
For all my regrets comes greatly deep pain
This pain I feel will never go away
You can tell me you’re sorry tell your blue in the face
But it won't make the pain go away
I try really hard to forget you
But I just can't 
I wish so badly that I could
For if I could forget you and every thing about you 
I wouldn't have to cry
And I would be as strong as I was before I met you
Almost Like I never knew you
This is how I wish it was 
But it's not
I am doomed to think about you and every thing you did to me
All the lies you ever told and all the hurtful words you've ever said
I would do anything to go back in time and make it so I never said yes to you
My only wish now is I wish I would have been able to see right through you like 
everyone else can
This pain you have caused will never leave my side
Nor will it leave my mind or heart
I would love to hate your name
But I can't
I love to hate the thought of love and every being truly happy
Maybe I just not meant to be happy
I wouldn't be surprised I hate the pain you caused 
But I can't do anything about it I love to hate you 
Yet I can't


Details | Lyric | |

Let go

How do I follow my heart
When someone has taken it away 
How do I free myself from pain
When it's hard to let you go

The stars refused to rain love on me
The sky travelled far away from me
The storms have taken over me
See what your love has caused me

These tears I reaped in silence
For loneliness has keep me company
And heartaches have given me faith
The years we had in the past
Now the pain is here to last

Why did I gfive my heart
T oa love destined someday to die
Why didn't you teach me
How to let you go

The stars refused to rain love on me
The sky travelled far away from me
The storms have taken over me
See what your love has caused me

These tears I reaped in silence
For loneliness has keep me company
And heartaches have given me faith
The years we had in the past
Now the pain is here to last

I'd still follow my heart 
Even if you took it away 
I'll teach myself to live in pain
It's time for your love to go


Details | Lyric | |

Back

She's sitting beside the window
And watching the falling rain;
Days turn into weeks, life passes by,
And she is alone again.
Nobody remembers she's still alive,
But she is not even ten.

She's listening to all feeble voices within,
To misery and pain she will never give in.
In lonely tears she tries to forgive...
In years she'll have just one reason to live.
But she knows that's worth it...

The world is so cruel... No one knows she cries.
If somebody saw, they would never care why.
Her dreams and the world will be always apart.
And no one will put back the shards of her heart.

She's listening to all feeble voices within,
To misery and pain she will never give in.
In lonely tears she tries to forgive...
In years she'll have just one reason to live.
But she knows that's worth it...

She wakes up with fear to meet the new day,
She already knows it will bring just more pain.
But no one cares, no one understands -
She puts on the mask, trying hard to pretend.

I close my eyes and through years I see
That girl near the window is ten year old me.
She never lost hope and the wish to forgive,
And now she has that one reason to live.
And this reason is you.


Details | Lyric | |

Pain

It sucks having immobile arms,
Arms and legs filled with blood,
Slightest touch sets off painful alarms,
Pain rushing over me in a flood.

Saddened by my immobility,
I usually get it out through writing,
Disturbed by my inability,
It helps with the pain I'm fighting.

Sadness wells up in my eyes,
Taking so many pills,
Stricken with this thing which i despise,
Just for the pain that it kills.

I never chose to be this way,
It just makes me feels so strange,
No cure for this disease i learned to my dismay,
Yet there's no way i can change.

Sometimes i wonder how i survive,
I had a plane to continue,
To go on i must contrive,
But some how it ended up askew.


Details | Lyric | |

The Last Words

The cold sky above me is crying
To meet my last day, one more story is over. 
A wrist, razorblade - now I hope I'm becoming
The pain in your heart. In your mind, never sober
You'll see just a guise of me, bleeding so badly.
I'm dying in pain - that is what I have chosen.
And if you had been there, you still could have saved me. 
You could... it's too late. Now I'm lying here, frozen.

A denizen in all the world, a denial,
My f---ing damned life has been nothing but battles.
This easy escape is the last of my trials,
And with my last breath your dark sky will be shattered.
My death is revenge if my life has been broken.
It's been a mistake - it's my debt to erase it.
I have no more reason to live - I'm forgotten.
My sorrow has come to the tragical ending.

Your life will go on in your cardboard castle;
You'll finish your part, and you'll join me in years.
My poisonous blood all your questions will answer.
Goodbye... I've got over the last of my fears. 

(My death is revenge if my life has been broken.
It's been a mistake - it's my debt to erase it.
I have no more reason to live - I'm forgotten.
My sorrow has come to the tragical ending.)

And if you had been there, you still could have saved me. 
You could...


Details | I do not know? | |

Can I?

Can I become the man that I need to be?
Can my eyes open, and have one glimpse of being free?
Can I overcome the pain that my hate has brought?
Can I gain more strength after all the times we have fought?
Can I work around the problems I've endured?
Can I put up with these things you've given to me to ensure?
Can I let my lungs inhale and breathe today?
Can I push this pain behind the doors and shut them away?
Are you always going to remind me about things like you do?
Are you still going to throw things at me that I've already been through?
With all the pain and suffering, why can't you just admit it?
When you don't know the truth about any of it
Make me cry and run away from this place
Cause in reality it's your own problems you can't face
So instead of me asking you, can you look in my eyes
And ask yourself, Can I?


Details | I do not know? | |

What Should I Do?

What should I do?
These things I cannot get through
It's like I'm suffering from pain and absolute hate
This isn't my life, or is this supposed to be my fate?
Confusion, and misunderstanding
More and more pain you're handling
And then who am I supposed to be?
With the pain you keep giving to me?
I've been walked on all my life for two years and now
I put up with these things, and everyone's like, HOW?
They don't care, like always it's the same and I hate it
No one knows how to listen when some one says quit
I've had enough where I'm about to break!
Cause everyone in my life is an all-show-fake!


Details | Lyric | |

The Morning

In the morning I can see your face
The pain recedes gone without a trace
In the morning I can see you smile
Lets me know I'll be happy for awhile

I can feel the sunlight on my hands
Touching you I become a man
In the morning I can feel you die
That's the time I break down and cry

Follow me down, Follow me down
To a still point in time
Where you can be mine
Forever, in the morning

In the morning I can see your face
The pain recedes gone without a trace
I can see you praying in the night
Lets me know everything is going to be all right

Follow me down, follow me down
In the morning


Details | I do not know? | |

U Touch Me, Why? (angel of sadness)

I am no more obliged then yesterdays wealth 
Curiously massaged in all we have left 
I could let you down 
But your smile would only frown 
I could promise to change, my angel 
But I’d only be your closest stranger 
There’s always a raindrop in your eyes 
I laugh when the pain stops, as you cry 
Cause there’s always rain drops in your eyes 
I am no more saved 
Then my previous goodbye wave 
Your tears sizzle as I burn 
Your loneliness tickles for I won’t learn 
There’s always raindrops in your eyes 
I laugh when the pain stops, as you cry 
There’s always raindrops in your eyes 
Disgusting, my guilt is filth 
And still you touch me 
Mistrusting my filth for guilt 
Yet still you touch me 


Details | Lyric | |

One Day (You Will Know)

Now I’m broken
all alone
You’ve turned my heart 
into stone
I’ll never let another in
This love-charade is a game I won’t play again
The escapades of a lover’s war
inflicts wounds I cannot bear to suffer anymore
I’ve grown cold from head to toes
My heart is ice I hope you know
I hope you know this pain I know
I hope it hurts and the pain slowly grows
I hope you wake up late at night
alone, abandoned, filled with fright
May your days be miserable
as you fail in killing the past
One day you’ll understand
that the pain will last
You’ll wake up
empty of hope
shattered and torn
feeling broke
Unable to free your brain of things
Finally feeling how much it stings
when you find yourself unworthy of love
One day you will learn
how much it all burns
and when that day finally comes
I’ll wake up smiling
as I think of you crying 
and needing someone


Details | I do not know? | |

Come Back

As I look at the sky
my eyes fill with tears
wishin' you were here with me
I feel alone
and oh-so valunerable
I feel the pain building up inside

Come back!!!!!
Baby i need you
Baby, come back
i can't live without you 

As the blade comes in contact
i barely feel the pain
my eyes are watery
but baby this is nothing
compared to what you did
i need you hear beside me

Come back!!!!!
I need you!!!!
Baby don't leave me alone...
please come back before i'm gone

I may seem obsessive 
but i'm not
I just naive and in love
So pleeeeeeease come back to me!!!!!!
Don't leave me here in the darkness on my own

Come back....
do you not realize,
this is pain is too much for me,
i'm alone and afraid
this child isn't mine alone
you did help, so pleeeeeeease come back.......

So.....
Pleeeeeease,
Pleeeeeease,
Pleeeeeease,
Come back


Details | Lyric | |

The Art of Suffering

My pain still dreams of ways to breathe
Its methodical plans never seem to leave
Like frozen hatred spread through time
In the past and the future where I try to hide

Still unrelenting in this light
I’d blindfold myself only to give it sight
So unrelenting in its cause
So jealous of things that I have now lost

All of these words discard my need
For the quiet repentance has become disease
Much more the sufferer of my thirst
For the silence I found has strengthened my curse

Still in the wake of all I am
With every door I unlock I lose another hand
So distant to the sky I see
Yet every door I’ve unlocked has shown the sky is me

This pain will always find a way
No matter where I can hide it will have its say
Like burning music in my mind
Where everything that I hear is just the hurt inside


Details | Lyric | |

The longing

I do long to be with you
To wipe you tears of sadness
As well as your tears of joy
To warm myself with your kiss
on the coldest of winter nights
And to refresh myself with your touch
when the hot summer sun beats on my back
To give me confidence that tommorrow will come
and no matter how hard the wind blows,
the thunder rolls, and the lightning strikes,
we can ride it out
To see your assuring smile 
the first thing in the morning
And the eyes that I get lost in
before our good night kiss
To feel such security
when I feel your body next to mine
And such serenity
when the aroma of your sweet skin
fills me from head to toe
I have faith that when old age is upon us,
the memories of us that have stained my brain
will take away the pain of our rotting bodies
And the pain of the reality
that all good things must end
Because there is a bench in heaven
Surrounded by beautiful pureness
And there will be a seat saved 
for either me or you


Details | Lyric | |

MY PRISON

My tears hit the dusty wood floor 
I think of you and wish I did not love any more 
My heart cries for you as well 
I can’t forget you though I went through hell 

The pain is nothing compared to the love I felt 
If I could make you feel the same way, your ice heart would surly melt 
I sit alone at night as sure as the wind will blow 
My mind is dark with thoughts as the fire bugs glow 

A lonely prison is where I sit called remorse and pain 
My cell mate is misery and the guard is insane 
I have been doing time for so long now 
Wish to escape to a happy place, but don’t know how 

So often I watch the peaceful birds float on by 
If I sleep hard enough, I too can fly  
In this land of my slumbering make-believe, 
You’re a queen of the land and you never leave 

I too share with you as the king of this land 
But time goes fast and my eyes lose the sleeping sand 
I am always waking up in misery’s cell  
 
Will I ever be free from you? 
Only God knows and time will tell


Details | Lyric | |

A Game with Death

Deep within the confines of my mind, I play a game with Death itself
The pieces set, black against white, the game played a thousand times before
I move the pawns to block the enemy line, and I feel a tinge of empathy
The pawn and I, so alike, both pieces in someone else’s game, expendable
The greater pieces, knights and rooks, bishops, and queens protect the king
The King, the representation of my mind, if defeated so shall I fall
The pawns charge and clear the way against the line of Death’s allies
Reaching to the sky for their chance at glory, but stricken down before
Death’s cold and brilliant moves seduce me, like a forbidden dance
Haunting and frightening, but tempting all the same, I allow the moves
The pieces fall like leaves from an autumn tree, a piece of me dies with them
For this is no mere game I realize, but the struggle against the embrace of oblivion
And I’m losing, the king backed into a corner, no way out with foes in pursuit
The king in hopeless retreat moves further into defeat, and I tremble
My hand reaches for something, could it be that I’ve succumbed to failure?
I take the king in hand and it falls to its side, the match is forfeit to Death
But as I offer my hand to him, embracing my fate, the phantom simply smiles
A chill smile not seen, but felt in the heart, a stinging pain that told me his intent
He would not take me to the afterlife, but abandon me to a life of pain and hardship
Just like so many times before, the game played over the course of a lifetime
And Death cheats every time, every loss becomes another chance for misery


Details | Lyric | |

Tormented

Only so much suffering can one man take, when stretched to the breaking point like a taut
violin string
When the pain is so severe that one's body goes numb, when he can no longer feel the stab
in the back
Save for the pain within himself, the cruel longing for something more, the sting of
bitter defeat once again
Like recurring nightmares haunting his every step, he is struck in his heart with a
profound sense of despair
That comes from a long and arduous life, marked at each turn with sorrow and balanced on
the edge of a knife
What folly comes from the lie of hope, for the man has lived his life through the
dichotomy of failure and victory
Upon straying too close to the light, he is torn from it by his own sense of loss and the
cruelty of his soul
And at the brink of death, when came a thought of final peace, he was brought back by
frail and incomplete dreams
The dual cycle never ends, for one fated and born into this world for the purpose of
suffering others pain
Forever reborn to continue on the path of dread, to know happiness only for it to be torn
from his throbbing heart
The never ending wheel of birth and rebirth, the fulcrum built upon this man's existence,
his blood and sinew
But no one will ever know this man's name, nor share in his pain, for his is a burden he
must bear alone
His tortured soul and tormented mind assure it, for burdened as such, none shall ever bond
with him
And his cries will go unheard in the grand scheme of the universe, forgotten in the flow
of time, never spoken
'Til the end...
		


Details | Lyric | |

Pain

Pain is something we all know well, we keep it hidden, so afraid to tell...the heart 
doth grow heavy, the eye doth grow bleary, the ice forms and the soul doth grow 
weary... Out into the night we stray, only to find that we've lost our way... I wander 
around afraid to see, the pain in their eyes staring through me...My head goes 
down and my being turns within, as I slip away into my own private sin...I pray for 
the light to touch my face, but not too loud, don't want to feel out of place...I hear 
the slow shuffle of the wanderers feet as I near the edge, I prepare to meet.....I 
venture a glance to the others so cold, can't quite explain how I grew so bold.... I 
feel their pain as if it were mine, I know I stand in that same long line.... mind 
shut down, only senses to guide, I break through the madness, refusing to 
abide....I run maybe a little to fast, hoping to be free from the pain at last....


Details | Free verse | |

My Heart Bleeds

The effort and time
Just to lose my mind
So blind that I cannot see
That all I am is loves’ lost tragedy
Time has not been on my side 
Makes me want to turn, run and hide
From all the tragedy my life has seen 
Makes my heart bleed 
From the hurt that feeds
Lead me to a new direction
Erase the old, make corrections

Living in tragedy 
What has this life made of me? 
Hard and cold, cold as stone 
Here I sit again alone 
Taking the pain and putting it away 
To shout it out some other day 
Love’s lost tragedy 
Made me see 
My heart bleeds 

So good together in each others company 
What led you to cheat on me? 
We were first-rate from the first date 
I thought you were my true mate
Now it’s ended 
My heart needs mended 
Blended, with sorrow and confusing lines 
Oh God show me a way to go, just a sign 

Living in tragedy 
What has this life made of me? 
Hard and cold, cold as stone 
Here I sit again alone 
Taking the pain and putting it away 
To shout it out some other day 
Love lost tragedy 
Made me see 
My heart bleeds 

The hurt might go away 
On my knees all I can do is look up and pray 
And say, that this won’t happen again today
Scorned, heart too torn, to be reborn 
Love again, not convinced 
I haven’t found love since

Living in tragedy 
What has this life made of me? 
Hard and cold, cold as stone 
Here I sit again alone 
Taking the pain and putting it away 
To shout it out some other day 
Love lost tragedy 
Made me see 
My heart bleeds 


Details | Bio | |

Just Me

I'm no poet 
I just write what I feel
There is no way you can say my name
for it to be in the hall of fame
everything I write is real.
Whatever I say
You can believe
forget what you heard 
I am the only me.
I'm not a movie star or model
i'm just like you
with my own unique style
and people hate me because
they want to walk in my shoes
but what are my shoes to walk in
other than a life of misery and blues.
I don't write to impress
I write to release
the pain and ill emotion
that has grown inside of me.
Its been their so long
I could almost write a song
called "The Pain won't fade away".
I'm just like you
with no perfect life
try my best to keep smiling
such as writing at night
like when I wrote this.
Ideas flowed in and out of my mind not knowing where they came from
never thought of myself as a writer
Actually never liked writing or rhythm
never saw the point.
I'm no poet
I just write what I feel
There's no way you can say my name
for it to be in the hall of fame
I can't help how you see me
I'm just being me...
Just me.


Details | Lyric | |

Friend Please Stay

With a pain in my heart,
I guess we never know
How much someone means,
Till we let them go,
When they’re no longer there
To hear our plea,
For help when our eyes 
They cannot see

When we’re in our 
Dark corner
And no lights about,
They were there when
A whisper was not needed
But a shout
To wake us up from
Our sleepy slumber,
The times they helped you, 
You cannot number,

You realise now
You hurt them quite bad
They deny it and when 
They see you, 
pretend they’re glad
But deep down you remember
They’re the one
Who told you secrets when the friendship 
Begun 

And that despite what they say
You do know them well
When they’re hurt or annoyed
Is when you can tell,
That sorry is just not good enough
For them to hear but its too tough,

Because the pain you created 
has caused a stain,
You realise you pray 
for the friendship to remain
Because as I said it’s not till they’re gone
That you realise they were there all along
They helped pull you out the pit when others looked away
I miss you so bad…I want you to please stay….


Details | Lyric | |

When Tears Talk

Frustration is killing my senses
My mind is filled with bruises
Laughters fill the air
But tears roll down here

Here I am dreaming 
There you are screaming
Do you know what's on my mind?
You must have been so blund

If tears could talk 
You will hear  words youy've never knowb before
You will see the pain buried in my heart
I'll let the tears flow bit by bit
Let the tears make you fell
As the time stand still

When tears talk, you don't have to speak a bit
Cause I won't hear a thing
Loving you was a big mistake
The true love we had was fake

The journey that I'm about to face
Don't care if I win the race
My mind's made up togive up the fight
Even if I won't see the light

This journey is not that long 
I won't let the pain keep me in silence
Let the tears speak
For the love I never seek

If tears could speak
You'll see I'm weak
But I know I have never been
A loser as you have seen


Details | Lyric | |

This Smile Lies

this smile lies 
it’s hiding my demise
disguising my inner pain 

these days I spend at home
friendless and alone
wishing for a time never truly known

this smile lies
it’s hiding my demise
disguising my inner pain

it greets you in the morning
says hi in the day
but it’s only hiding my dismay


the sun vanished from my skies long ago
but my smile hides it so no one will know
about all this pain I keep deep down below

this smile lies 
it’s hiding my demise
disguising my inner pain

it deceives you each day
concealing my distress
as I suppress all of my pain

this smile lies 
it’s hiding my demise
disguising my inner pain


Details | Lyric | |

Keep Me Safe

Finding my space in my lonely world
Secretly depressed as an emotional girl
So here I am under the dead tree
With fog drifting about and my mind wandering free
It's too cold for me to move, so I stay
I wait and freeze until my life has gone away
But nothing around me seems to change
It's just so awkward and very strange
I can't feel any pain or the suffering I endured
I my secret world, every thing's secured
Death lurks below me like a river of blood
Stalking my life
I sink in my problems like sinking in endless mud
I have to put up a fight
Tears roll down my miserable face
Nothing is right
I just need someone to keep me safe
And holding me tight
Finding my space in my lonely world
Secretly depressed as an emotional girl
So here I am in the wild woods
With cold rain pouring and darkness floods
I am too wet to move, so i stay
I wait until I'm drenched and the rain has passed away
But the rain never stops and sunlight never shines
And all I hear are the wolves' and ghosts' whines
Still I can't find any pain or suffering I endured
In my secret world, everything's secured
So here I am 
Lying in my bed
With the light shining brilliantly 
And I wiped the sweat I shed
I'm back in the real world 
Full and animated
Back to the lonely girl
And my life which I hated
I got down on my knees
And put my palms together and
I gone into a weep 
Praying to the heaven
For me to be stronger
And living my life better
I wiped the tears off my face
And He answered by saying
"I will keep you safe."


Details | Lyric | |

visions

everynight haunted by the pictures
my life now a repeat of the scriptures
close my eyes its too real im fallin deeper
emotions too famailar to me 
panicing, heart off beat
nauseous, cramping, can't even eat
its too real it can't be a dream
i could feel it and see it
is it true cause im starting to believe it
supressed memories its all coming back to me
so that means he took my virginity
what was mine to give he took from me

i could see you on top of me 
pushing yourself inside of me
turning what was innocent into incomplete sanity
what did you want with me
stredded my dignity for all eternity
leaving me with nothing but vision and disbeliefs
don't have to close my eyes to see you on top of me
holding my arms as i lay with my body in shock, silently
i hold back tears
i don't want you to see the fear
throat to stunned to breathe
but i don't care
i just wanna be free
cause till that day comes the vision a repeat
more painful, more clearer, and more harder to sleep
i reather just rest in peace
with my arms crossed awaiting the heavenly peace
dear God i'm asking you please
i can't live to see another day
feeling him inside of me
the pain its agony 
i don't wanna live this way
everynight, everyday
every couple hours feeling this way
im fallin apart glass shattered 
it resembles me
broken, unrepairable you can't fix me
what's gone is gone
but if you let me i could still live on
behind the heavenly gates 
the pain a be gone
no more worrying about the wrong
God I know you'll set me free
just, do it asap if you know what i mean.


Details | Lyric | |

feelings

word are lost in my own head
so then i wish i had read
the times of old the times of new
the worst of times i ever knew

from all the will forsaken me
i feel it all in eternity
from pain that have crossed
this feeling inside i sure have lost

it all is jumbled inside my head
but not prepared as my friend said
and so i wander and walk away
but all my feelings want to stay

and so i say...

i've been blinded by the light
all the pain has my own spite
for vurture has me in its jaw
but i am it's only flaw

burnt out by reason
left out by time
this may be my last
even with no crime

and so i am crossed
and i cant complain
that everything lost
has one to blame

to leave me out
to let me rot
has someone pouted
for all i got

not today
it burns to say
it's all ok
it's all ok.....


Details | Free verse | |

My Heart Bleeds

The effort and time
Just to lose my mind
So blind that I cannot see
That all I am is loves’ lost tragedy
Time has not been on my side 
Makes me want to turn, run and hide
From all the tragedy my life has seen 
Makes my heart bleed 
From the hurt that feeds
Lead me to a new direction
Erase the old, make corrections

Living in tragedy 
What has this life made of me? 
Hard and cold, cold as stone 
Here I sit again alone 
Taking the pain and putting it away 
To shout it out some other day 
Love’s lost tragedy 
Made me see 
My heart bleeds 

So good together in each others company 
What led you to cheat on me? 
We were first-rate from the first date 
I thought you were my true mate
Now it’s ended 
My heart needs mended 
Blended, with sorrow and confusing lines 
Oh God show me a way to go, just a sign 

Living in tragedy 
What has this life made of me? 
Hard and cold, cold as stone 
Here I sit again alone 
Taking the pain and putting it away 
To shout it out some other day 
Love lost tragedy 
Made me see 
My heart bleeds 

The hurt might go away 
On my knees all I can do is look up and pray 
And Say, that this won’t happen again today
Scorned, heart too torn, to be reborn 
Love again, not convinced 
I haven’t found love since

Living in tragedy 
What has this life made of me? 
Hard and cold, cold as stone 
Here I sit again alone 
Taking the pain and putting it away 
To shout it out some other day 
Love's lost tragedy 
Made me see 
My heart bleeds 


Details | Lyric | |

Salvation

These sick, twisted, demented minds
Play me like a pawn
In a game I wish not to play
Beat down by whordes of demons 
Then left for dead

Pushed to my breaking point
Years of lacerations
Scars rain pain on my wrists
Then blood pours from the heavens
Salvation

These self-righteous beings command me
Through the drama of their lives
Always dared to cross their lines
And laughing as I scream in pain
I'll leave this place in vain
Then walk to my death

Pushed beyond breaking through
Years of lacerations
Scars rain pain on my wrists
Then blood pours from the heavens
Salvation


Details | Rhyme | |

dreamer (little girl lost)

Depression is over rated, and I don’t prefer the things I have. So why are all the 
girls claiming to hurt, and cry out that they are sad. Did they touch the hand of 
death, feel love break away. Did they ever run away from sub ordinance, and cry 
angry tears each day? 

Dreamer, you’re a little girl lost. Dreamer, it’s safe to wipe away the frost. The 
cold that keeps your heart from loving, the pain that keeps the happiness from 
coming…dreamer, you don’t have to be lost anymore. 

Those who are hurting, they keep it to themselves. They cry into their pillows, 
then put their feelings on a shelf. Maybe write it in a journal, but never mutter the 
threats to another ear. They know that hurting and feeling isn’t accepted in places 
like here.

Dreamer, you’re a little girl lost. Dreamer, it’s safe to wipe away the frost. The 
cold that keeps your heart from loving, the pain that keeps the happiness from 
coming…dreamer, you don’t have to be lost anymore. 

I hear you crying in every tear that falls from my face. You don’t have to say a word 
or hurt yourself in other ways. I know you feel, and loved and lost, before the age 
of seventeen. Take time to remember some smile that came in the times that 
were between. There’s life, there’s love, there’s hope and happiness waiting 
beyond that door. Only leave when you know it’s right, and you know you cant take 
anymore.

Dreamer, you’re a little girl lost. Dreamer, it’s safe to wipe away the frost. The 
cold that keeps your heart from loving, the pain that keeps the happiness from 
coming…dreamer, you don’t have to be lost anymore.


Details | Lyric | |

Painful Revelation

Sweet release within a rushed escape
Bitter love and then some mutual rape
Innocence relived with blinded eyes
Deeper now to see it’s just a lie

Strength of steel after all the games
Strength of gods when walking through the pain
An understanding of a darker place
Deeper now that you have had a taste

Can you survive a bullet to the head?
Can you stand up even though you’re dead?
Will we smile again despite our wounds?
Can we breathe light despite the favoured moon?

The darkest nature’s without sacrifice
Forgetting truth is why we weave the night
Bettering or choosing to succumb
Deepening the hate that makes us numb

Can you turn your pain into some truth?
Can you live knowing that you could lose?
Will we end the hate that needs our souls?
Can we forgive despite the pain that grows?


Details | Lyric | |

Tarnished

Memories, or rather…

Metaphorical shards of glass embedded in my sanity and tormenting my very 
soul

I want to purge them from my mind so that I can once again be whole

I am an old tattered book

My pages dog-eared and worn

I want to give birth to myself and once again be born

New, pure, clean, and sheltered

Untarnished and untouched by the pain of this world

Only anticipation of what is yet to unfurl

Am I forever damaged?

Or shall time be the bandage upon my tender wounds?

Broken and scarred I gaze upon the moon

And she is still there, just as she was when I was a child

Only these eyes have seen much more

Through my pain I have discovered wisdom lies in it’s core

However one views the world, is how they will inevitably perceive it

Now I understand that it is knowledge that we gain through all that we endure

Life is merely a collection of experiences, you never know what’s behind each 
door


 


Details | Lyric | |

I cannot be what I am not

To express the way (I) feel...

my spirit when I am with you
I do not want to leave...

This passion so free with you...

I disperse this freely unto you...

this place inside of me...
this pain inside hurts...

this stubbornness that lays...
just beneath the surface...

My secrets from this fool reveals...
...to make a connection surreal...

...this truth I cannot escape...

...for nothing you will find here is fake...

I cannot be what I am not...

this truth instilled not easily forgot...

so I will slip away quietly
into this gentle starlit night...

with all my words...the inner courage
I can muster...all my feelings I cannot
hide...

who I really am...I cannot be your fake...

this night my heart aches...
my words swirl with deep emotion...

...my eyes they fill with heavy tears...

this truth more pain and agony than
I once feared...

this dream sequester...now seems
lost...for my heart and soul burdens
me with such cruel self cost...

this courage sanctioned...
on my knees this spirit hails...

my will my heart to give in
to give up...

My god for you within me
I will not fail...

My God please do not
believe me weak...

...this force that pulls me...
from within you I feel I speak...

...this courage you give me
I so rely...I believe in you...
my spirit my will will not deny...