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Lyric Funny Poems | Lyric Poems About Funny

These Lyric Funny poems are examples of Lyric poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Lyric Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Limerick | |

His funeral

That he planned his funeral is factual
And being a prankster quite actual
He prerecorded his voice
So when we kneeled on the joist
He said, "Hi there! Don't I look natural."

Details | Lyric | |


Teach and study, cook and clean
Write a poem in between
All the chores and daily life
Perfect Mom, half decent wife

Work and work and dream and dream
Scrub the tub in shower stream
Want to travel here and there
But I’m stuck and full of care

Write and write, and feel the sting
Hope tomorrow joy will bring
Gulp down well my happy pill
Looking for that awesome thrill

Hit my head against the wall
Scream in pain, then take a fall
Try to keep life going right
Need a stick of dynamite

Mundane, weary, chore filled day
Want my hips to dance and sway
Feel like I will suffocate
Every grade will get in late

Cook and cook and scream and scream
In the soup, dollop of cream
Morning light, I check my phone
Off to work, I give a groan

Frazzled, frazzled, what’s the deal?
Dazzled’s how I want to feel
Thought I looked so sexy sweet
Hubby wants an OVEN treat 

Write a verse to keep me sane
Post a poem, deaden pain
Live a life of make believe
Passion fashion in my weave

So I read another write
P Soup’s, Yum Yum, a delight
Frumpy, Grumpy’s Passion Queen
Just don’t check behind the screen!!!


I’m frustrated. I have grades to give in, a thesis to finish, a trip to plan….and I can’t be BOTHERED!!!!!!!!!! Sympathy People!!!

Details | Lyric | |

Itsy, Bitsy, Teenie, Weenie Brain

To the tune of "Itsy Bitsy, Teenie Weenie, Yellow, Polka-Dot Bikini"
Dedicated to Nancy Pelosi

She has an itsy bitsy
Teenie weenie
Brain inside her little beanie
And she uses it infrequently

An itsy, bitsy
Teenie weenie brain
We get the heebie jeebies
Whenever Nancy's in our company

Two, three, four 
Don’t stick around, head for the door

  Oh, I pushed and I wrested for health care
  But no one wanted this lame, inane fare
  Still I managed to get it through Congress
  The court may now say it was pointless

Two, three, four
Please don’t give us anymore

She has an itsy bitsy
Teenie weenie
Brain inside her little beanie
And she uses it infrequently

An itsy, bitsy
Teenie weenie brain
We get the heebie jeebies
Whenever Nancy's in our company

  Some will tell you that my voice sounds too shrill
  But House members have followed me still
  Yet we have an election upcoming
  From my muse all my members are running

Final Chorus:
From the Congress to her home state
From California to the streets
Of San Francisco you will find her
Oh so sad to lose her seat

Details | Lyric | |

Yard Sale Cowboy On CD

From here to wherever, I'll follow a yard sale sign,
it's a past time endeavor, for my collective state of mind,
I may buy some furniture, or a trinket for a dime,
yard saling is a pleasure, yes, a personal hobby of mine,

Yea, I'm a yard sale cowboy, on the trail of search and find,
and it gives me great joy, to see a yard sale sign,
from here to wherever, cloudy days or sunshine,
I'm searching for that treasure, ain't no telling what I'll find,

I may find brand new things, boots, shoes, or clothes the right size,
silver and gold chains or rings, or an antique will catch my eyes,
I could find my brother a nice bass lure, or a spool of fishing line,
or maybe a nice piece of furniture, or something for a friend of mine,

Yea, I'm a yard sale cowboy, on the trail of search and find,
and it gives me great joy, to see a yard sale sign,
It's a past time endeavor, for my collective state of mind,
Yard saling is a pleasure, ain't no telling what I"ll find,

Yea, I'm a yard sale cowboy, I just spotted a yard sale sign,
searching is a pleasuree, ain't no telling what I'll find,
I may find an old bass lure, or a spool of fishing line,
now one thing is for sure, I just found my cat a ball of twine,
and look here, I found my ol' dog a bone to grind,

Yea, I'm a yard sale cowboy, on the trail of search and find,
I may find an old bass lure, or a spool of fishing line,
from here to wherever, cloudy days or sunshsine,
I'm a yard sale cowboy, on the trail of search and find,
Yea, I'm a yard sale cowboy, ain't no telling what I'll find,

Hey Bud, how much for that there what-cha-ma-call-it?
Naw Naw, Naw, that there thing-a-ma-jig, there next to that do-ma-flitchie,
Yea, Yea, that thinga-ma-jig right there.....ya say three
I'll take ya go.....and how much for that do-daddy over there?
Yea, yea, right next to those 2 onion skin tires...Uh Huh..yea..well I'll be..
Well yea..I'll take it's something I just can't live without...ha ha ha..

Details | Lyric | |

Beer Pong Balls

-Sing along to Jingle Bells-

Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you sink, the more I drink.
It's Christmas, let's get drunk!


Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you make, the more I take.
It's Christmas, lets get drunk!

Drinking Michelobe... Sipping on some Jack...
We just made two cups... Give us the balls back!
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Guys can finger cups... Girls know they can blow...
I'm hall of fame, In this game, cause I drink like a pro


Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you sink, the more I drink.
It's Christmas, let's get drunk!


Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you make, the more I take.
It's Christmas, lets get drunk!

A day or two ago... Drinking Miller Light...
I had won eight games, and then got in a fight...
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
We ran out of beer... Had to get some more...
If I'm alive, then I can drive, let's all go to the store!


Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you sink, the more I drink.
It's Christmas, let's get drunk!


Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you make, the more I take.
It's Christmas, lets get drunk!

Details | Lyric | |

Oh Uhura - To Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah

There was a Starship Enterprise,
It was the ruler of the skies,
But you don't really care for sci-fi, do you?
With Captain Kirk
And Mr Spock
And don’t forget the trademark jock,
And there upon the bridge you’ll find Uhura

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura 
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

You’ll find Bones Macoy down in sickbay,
“I’m a doctor Jim” he’d say,
And cure whatever space bug ran through you,
He’ll banish away every cough,
Even if your name’s Chekov,
Or perhaps you might be sweet Uhura

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

To make the starship up and go,
The man you really need to know,
Is the Helm officer called Sulu,
But if it’s a message you’d like to send,
Then of course you can depend,
Upon the talented Miss Uhura,

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

Your voyage lasted three short years
But despite the trekkie’s fears,
It wouldn’t be the last time that we’d view you,
Of feature films there’d be twelve,
Before the franchise they would shelve,
But we won’t forget you dear Uhura

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

Oh Uhura

Details | Lyric | |

A Cubicle Wish

I wish the world was made of cubes,
Four flat sides and a top ~
For I cant stand the slippy things,
That tend to slide or flop.
From piles of paper falling down 
Upon my dirty floor ~
To odd shaped bottles and fans I have,
Like one gigantic junk drawer.
But if the world was made of cubes
sitting in neat stacks ~
Then things would not fall over things
And this place wouldn‘t look like crap.

Details | Lyric | |


I'm polynonsensicalamorous;
For me,
Romance is calamitous,

I woo and charm,
And raise some alarm,
When I try to arouse,
... By flexing my arm!

Some days its almost ridiculous,
Whatever I do, 
It's frivolous!

So I dress to impress,
But I'm always despairing,
When I walk through the door,
I hear: "What are you wearing?"

They told me love was fabulous,
If you want the truth:
It's strenuous!

When I try to hit,
I always miss,
That hug I got,
...Should've been a kiss!

But if all is fair in love and war,
I should keep trying until I score,
And maybe one day I will cease to fuss,
If only I wasn't...

Details | Lyric | |

My Favorite Things as a Middle Aged Chick

Night sweats and crazy
Hot flashes and lazy
Mood swings and a body (?)
That looks pretty shoddy

Eating and bleeding and wanting to scream
These are a few of my Favorite Things

When your doctor
Says a shocker
that your
Uterus is a lobster

I simply remember to pretend I'm filled with glee
and then
I forget that my uterus is in atrophy

Details | Lyric | |

A Piece Of Lace

I watched you walk by yesterday, and yes again you turned and looked away
You never give me the time of day, and you're always looking sad and grey
A small piece of lace from your pink dress, is all that's left of you and me
Wish I could take back yesterday, when I went astray and set you free
I wish I could find the words to say, instead of making you look away
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

I know that I still need your love, because my heart is always feeling blue
And I guess I'll never be the same, for playing around and being untrue
You gotta know this isn't what I wanted, cause now I'm always on my knees
But I can see how you like your freedom, of being with him and not with me
But baby a twist of fate's what tore us apart, and placed this look upon my face
Oh! it's still funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest
And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay
I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

All those things that you used to do, is what made me fall in love with you
You gave me your all once upon a time, but like a fool I up and flew
And the things I went and said that day, made you fade and drift away
I never shoulda treated you that way, cause baby I need you here today
The sun keeps hiding behind the clouds, and all I do is sit and cry
And this piece of lace holds my heart at bay, I don't know...maybe it's a sign

A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest
And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay
I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

Details | Lyric | |

These Words

All these words and all these lines
Just keep running through my mind
By the dozens, they drown out sound
And force me to quickly write them down
Lines and lyrics in poetic rhyme
Written within record time
Words so simple and plain to me
Can bring a smile or a tear you see
Though these are more 
Than mere words to me
It is a part of my soul,
From way down deep
So please excuse me 
While I let it all out
Or these words will drive me crazy
Without any doubt!

Details | Lyric | |

"The Nausea-go-round."

Up, down, up, down
Oh what a ride,
Round and round, round and round,
I've got quite a feeling inside,
Ever constant revolutions,
My stomach just gave me a hunch.
Up, down, around, RETCH!!!
Oh dear, I've just lost my lunch.

Details | Lyric | |

You Won't Tell Them How You Lied

Tonight it feels like, the end of the world
Tonight you showed me, you were never my girl
I wonder do you know, what my heart is doing
Well girl it's breaking in two, since you've gone

Go ahead tell those lies, to all your friends
Go ahead tell them, what a big fool i've been
I wonder will you tell them, you have a heart of stone
Or will you call them, and joke about me on the phone

Well be sure to tell them, how you broke my heart
And how funny it was, when I set down and cried
Tell them how, you tore my world apart
'Cause I know, you won't tell them how you lied

You're gonna have to be careful, when you're drinking
You're gonna have to be sober, when you're bragging
You'll have to learn to shut your mouth, when your wasted
Or everyone will no your a liar, and how your mind is twisted

Well be sure you tell them, how you broke my heart
And how funny it was, when I set down and cried
And tell them how, you tore my world apart
'Cause girl I know, you won't tell them how you lied

Details | Lyric | |


Dad is not perfect, but, a wonderful man;
He’s honored by his wife, daughter and son.

Whether a naughty girl or an angelic boy,
He’s ready to buy a gift or make a toy.

Dad is whom you want to be with,
When you’re down or you’re in need.

He is always there for you, giving hope;
And loses his temper when you’re in dope.

Dad was born, indeed, to make us laugh;
Especially, when he shares his funny stuff.

In one’s heart, he leaves his memories;
A true friend, a brother, a man of peace.

So this is what dad means to me;
Am I ready for this? Let me see.

Hmm, I’m thinking; nope, I pass.
I’m old, just 90. You boys don’t rush.

Details | I do not know? | |

The break up- Footle contest

Cold stares
heart tares

Details | Lyric | |

I found a job

I found a job at last

Well, I worked hard for twenty year
For a greedy type of bloke
I pushed and pulled until me legs went weak
Then one day I felt this twinge
It ran right down me spine
So I went out, some doctors help to seek

Now I can’t sit, and I can’t walk
Can’t even wash me feet
So off I goes to see this medico
He looked me over knowingly
As if he understood!
Then said “You’re doing fine, now off you go”

So off I goes to get a job
I gave some boss a call
But when he saw the way it was for me
He said “I can’t give you a job!
You’re stuffed my boy, that’s all
Oh, don’t tell me about your misery”.

I tried for an insurance claim
They said “we know you’re kind!!
You say you’re hurt, but is this really true?
To get some money out of us
You’ll have to test our might
We deem you fit to get a job, we do”

Well now I’ve got myself a job
It’s a breeze, I must confess
I lie her licking postage stamps all day
When I said I couldn’t work
I forgot about me tongue
So now I’ve got a job, and it’s okay.

Written in 1990

Details | Lyric | |



Wobbly-boot ter rubbity-dub
nary me ol' hide did scrub
showin' crack
'n grinder plaque
th' pirate's shorin' 

Hail th' buccaneerin' frog
tip th' keg 'n swill me grog
a blunt o' pot, 
a wench's bot
fer all-night whorin'

Th' briny whore, th' scurvy wench
wit' bloomers off 'n stinky stench
fer ha'penny's worth
did warm me berth
'n rolled off snorin'

Hail th' buccaneerin' frog
tip th' keg 'n swill me grog
a blunt o' pot, 
a wench's bot
fer all-night whorin'

Up th' hips 'n spread th' knees
tig ol' bitties pump 'n squeeze
roll th' rump
a-rippin' 'n roarin'

Hail th' buccaneerin' frog
tip th' keg 'n swill me grog
a blunt o' pot, 
a wench's bot
fer all-night whorin'

Details | Lyric | |

Friendly Reminder

She said..........

You workaholic, you're intoxicated
'Seems like work is all that's on your mind
With all the extra money, you've been making
It looks like you could pay your bills on time

Now you don't have to ruin your good credit
You don't have to let it go that far
I'll wait up 'til midnight on you baby
But you can be expecting a late charge

Baby, your account is delinquent
You need to make arrangements with me
If I don't hear from you this evening
I'm gonna form a collection agency

'Just a friendly reminder from this lonely heart of mine
Your lovin', baby, is two payments behind
This is your second notice, won't you do what's right
I don't want no partial payments, I want all of you tonight


Details | Lyric | |

My Sheep (Parody of the Beatles' "She Loves You")

My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa, Baa, Baa”

Farm country’s quite a place
Greener space and friendly smiles
My sheepdog likes to chase
Grazing flocks out here for miles

You know without sheep,
Don’t ya know I would be sad
Yeah without sheep,
I would go stark raving mad 

My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
And with a woolly friend, your life is never bad

They call me Miss BoPeep
I guess it’s sorta fair
Because my spoiled sheep
Get tender loving care

You know without sheep,
Don’t ya know I would be sad
Yeah without sheep,
I would go stark raving mad, ooh!

My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
And with a woolly friend, your life is never bad

So you can spread the word
My stock stick waives with pride
Noisy faithful herds
Are always by my side

You know without sheep,
Don’t ya know I would be sad
Yeah without sheep,
I would go stark raving mad, ooh!

My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
And with a woolly friend, your life is never bad
With a woolly friend, your life is never bad
With a woolly friend, your life is never...
"Baa, Baa, Baa"
"Baa, Baa, Baa, Baaaaaa"

Details | Lyric | |

Four-Eyed Charmer

I wear a white buttoned shirt
And my friends call me four eyes
But I don't care, just slowly walk away
And give 'em my gang sign

Don't bother with my appearance
Cause I'm the king of the chess team
Most guys got brawns, when it comes to logic
I can win before you take a seat

And I'm a four-eyed charmer
But a real straight A lover
What girl wouldn't wanna fall all over me
Hold my bag on the boat when I'm sick at sea
I'll give this life a mighty heave
Confidence you wouldn't believe
Whet girl wouldn't wanna fall all over me
Give me oxygen when I forget to breathe

Some gits got British accents
To impress any American gal
I speak elvish and clenon
They got their mansion royale

Some guys eat snails a la mode
And only settle for the finest wine
I can foresee myself in Paris
Throwing tomatoes at the mimes

A true heart you'll discover
Under this four-eyed charmer
What girl wouldn't wanna fall all over me
Hold my bag on the boat when I'm sick at sea
And I'm taking a leap of faith
That could either destroy or save
What girl wouldn't wanna fall all over me
Give me oxygen when I forget to breathe

Now I finally got someone
A lovely gal to cheer me on
When I play videogames
All night to the crack of dawn

Now I finally got someone
Who loves to rub when
I get a burning lobster tan
On my mayonnaise skin

Now I finally got someone
Who thinks my wandering eye
Is actually kinds cute
At least now I'm not so shy

I am the geek with four eyes
A noble prince in disguise
With a girl who courageously fell for me
As the titanic sinks I'll be your Lenny
And I bet it all on a whim
Now I'm the one with everything
With a girl who courageously fell for me
Her smile augmented when I stood on one knee

NOTE: So I feel ridiculously silly now, but I already posted this one a long time ago... must have slipped my mind... oh well :/

Details | Lyric | |


I didn’t scoff the grub; for pleasure and sanit I scrub. To doff trite piece of food is my calling from the wood When man meets assorted meat, I grieve for the chewing treat. I’m man’s aurora friend. Like the Ultimate man, to the very end I search for decayed morsel particle; to restore man’s fresh breath is my hustle. Cast me away and man’s teeth will hide; his tongue won’t glide – that’s my pride. I’m his quotidian servant-master adorned with creamy butter to evict stinking gums from vocal isle. Never weary, I renew his oral smile.

Details | Lyric | |

The pen is mightier than the sword

The pen is mightier than the sword

What is it about some people?
Have they no minds of all
To me their puppets on a string
As they follow all the rules
Whether they make sense at all
That’s all beside the point
They believe all that their leaders say
When it comes to the simple joint!

Our leaders they have called the shots
On this and all that matters
They come to us on the TV set
And I hear their foolish chatter
Our premier with pigeon mind
Was heard to say one day
That cannabis is a killer drug
Or almost any way.

Now I have smoked for forty years
And not once have I ever
Suffered from this gentle weed
These leaders might be clever
Or think they are, through their position
But to me they’re simply fools
But they give me cause to laugh out loud
They’re so damned comical.

23 July 2013 @ 1133hrs.

Details | Lyric | |

I Don't Have A Drinking Problem

I don’t have a drinking problem
I drink til I get drunk
Then I stumble home
    Where I live all alone
        And I diddle my own junk.
I don’t have a drinking problem
The problem is you see
When I am sober
    I look the world over
        And the world has a problem with me.

So I go to the neighborhood bar
Start with a whiskey and beer chaser
Every one of them that I belt down
Acts like a problem eraser.
All my troubles disappear
Then I fall off of the stool
I don’t see
    What the problem can be
        So, what’s the matter with you?

I don’t have a drinking problem
I drink til I get drunk
Then I stumble home
    Where I live all alone
        And I diddle my own junk.
I don’t have a drinking problem
The problem is you see
When I am sober
    I look the world over
        And the world has a problem with me.

So I go to the neighborhood bar
And put down a pint or ten
Soon all the old biddies there
Start looking beautiful again
I start flirting with the ladies
Must of’m older than me Mum
Then I pinch all the lasses
    Upon their big asses
        And get tossed out on me bum.

I don’t have a drinking problem
I drink til I get drunk
Then I stumble home
    Where I live all alone
        And I diddle my own junk.
I don’t have a drinking problem
The problem is you see
When I am sober
    I look the world over
        And the world has a problem with me.

So, I go to the neighborhood bar
Where I drink all day and night
My beer muscles start growing stronger
And I go looking for a fight
My slurred words start the trouble
My pushing eggs it on some more
I get punched in the eye
    And in my reply
        My face hits on the floor

I don’t have a drinking problem
I drink til I get drunk
Then I stumble home
    Where I live all alone
        And I diddle my own junk.
I don’t have a drinking problem
The problem is you see
When I am sober
    I look the world over
        And the world has a problem with me.

Details | Lyric | |

My Pickup Truck

(song lyrics)
Verse 1:
Now I can’t go fishin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my rod and reel
Can’t go snow-racin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my snowmobile
And I got flaws - that’s for sure - and sometimes run amuck
But the final straw that I can’t take: Ya’ sold my pickup truck

You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

Verse 2:
I didn’t care when ya’ bought that stuff on TV’s QVC
Or ‘cause ya’ always thought of me as your private Money Tree
Or catalog-orderin’ ever’thing from within ol’ Sears Roebuck
But I’ll be danged if I’ll sit still since ya’ sold my pickup truck!

You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

Verse 3:
So I went and saw a gypsy gal, and a curse on you imposed
To put sand in your chewin' gum and runners in your panty hose
And all your clothes and accessories to never, ever match
And chiggers in your bed sheets - so you’ll always have to scratch!

You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

Verse 4:
I seen ya’ last Saturday night at Bubba’s Bar and Grill
The image of you in stripes and checks remains within me still
And them red chigger welts upon your nose and face
Tells me that the gypsy curse is workin’ ever’ place!

You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far

Details | Lyric | |

Santa Baby

Santa Baby won't you give me some candy tonight
Santa Baby won't you let sit on your lap snuggle 
Up close and kiss goodnight

Santa Baby I need some Christmas lovin' you see
Santa Baby how neat that you came in a box
Spruced up just for me..

Santa Baby won't you give me some candy tonight...
Nite Nite....

In honor of Carolyn..

You know..

Details | Lyric | |

Viagra and Beer

Too much Viagra and beer.
Too much Viagra and beer.
My wife was out of town,
I hit every club around.
Each time I'd hope to find
A horny woman here.

Country Bob's was the last club that was open.
Near blind drunk and horny, but I was still hopin'.
A pretty woman gave me a glance,
Smiled and said, "Nice pants.
Honey, I'm ridin' if you're ropin'."

A few hours later, I was in a Helluva mess
She's still ridin' hard and screamin', "God, this is the best!"
I was dizzy and light-headed. I had pains in my chest,
But she wouldn't stop long enough to call EMS.

When I came to, I was home in my own bed,
Next to my lovely wife; and this is what she said:
"I picked you up at Country Bob's, my dear;
And there's gonna be some changes around here.

You were fantastic last night;
So, I only think its right
If I supplement your diet 
With Viagra and beer."

Viagra and beer. Viagra and beer.
She treats me like a king,
Says I make her body sing;
So, I'm happy on my diet of Viagra and beer.

Yes, I'm happy on my diet of Viagra and beer.

Submitted by: Buzz O'Words
Written: 3/3/14

Details | Lyric | |

Country Boy, City Slicker On CD

Well, I moved into town to live like a city slicker,
Loaded my truck, found a place, and here I am,
Though a country boy has a head a bit thicker,
City life is not so hard to understand,

And I've been learnin' how to use a computor,
How to do some picture takin' with a cell phone,
How to get insurance for my truck and motor scooter,
But city life is nothing like back home,

Because where I come from, they call it the boonies,
Dirt roads, back woods, life as country as can be,
Though now I'm mixed in with all the town loonies,
They'll never take the country out of me,

Yea, I can still plant me a nice little garden,
Though not nearly as big as it use to be,
And still listen to country music, Dolly Parton,
She's on my coffee mug for all to see,

And I still get to do some dear huntin'
For those split tails runnin' 'round here,
And I make sure to keep my truck tuned and runnin'
By way of Auto Zone, or I'd run out of beer,

Yea, I livin' in the hood, straight from the boonies,
It's great be an American and free,
Though I'm mixed in good with all the town loonies,
They'll never take the country out of me,

Yea, I moved into town to live like a city slicker,
And I'm doin' the best that I can...
I can drive by Churchill Downs and hear the horses nicker,
I'm just a country boy with a city slicker plan,
I can drive by Churchill Downs and hear the horses nicker,
I'm still a country boy, yea, that's who I am,
Though a country boy has a head a bit thicker,
City life is not so hard to understand.

Details | Limerick | |

The Monster Mash

<                              dancing to the hit song monster mash
                                frankenstein and werewolf got real smashed
                                took the witches culdeen
                                and boiled up mummys spleen
                                Quasimodo joined in on the bash

                                witches brew of brains spleens gizzards hearts
                                illuminates party from it's start
                                Dracula and zombies
                                lurking for free bodies
                                poor old frankie's wife just fell apart 

                               the bewitching dance came to its end
                               when bats flew in frenzy around den 
                               on this all hallows eve
                               trickery was up sleeve
                               sent my 3 black cats in to defend

Details | Lyric | |

I Got No Shame

I’ma tell you folks a story
It’s all of it strait true-
It’s my story
‘bout why I’s singin’ the blues…

I awoke on a morning
Bright and shiny, night after the juke
Felt like I been kicked in tha head
And my brain had been nuked

I was rolling to the john to take my morning ’due
When I looked in tha mirr'-
As I do to shave of’n that beard
An I screamed ‘cause there was a girl!
Staring back at me blond pipe curls
Even had some pearls
I screamed and jumped back
As I fell in the toilet swirl!

I got no shame
I got no shame 

My Mamma yelling at me
Terrance, that bet not be a girl
Not in this house- I ain’t running no hotel
I says “No Mama, , I just had to hurl”
She said Son- “what’d I tell you about this world-”
Mama swearing in the background talking about
Callin the preacher
I hopped out the window
In all Holy Terror and Fear

I got no shame
I got no shame

Now, I was raised with the bible
But took another path
Follow the way of evil men 
Messing with ev’ry girl that walks past
Guess God done caught up with me
As I stand staring at my breasteses
In this very danged mirror
Where I was always and b'fore
a man for 45 year'!

Cause I had no shame
I had no shame

And Lordy I been been framed-
Cause I HAD no shame

( Meant to be used in a 4/4 beat blues riff)

Details | Lyric | |

My girl

Details | Free verse | |

Grandma Was Dancing

She was a tappin' to the tunes...
of those Mississippi blues...
step-pin' out, in her white...
Pat-en-leather shoes,

We were a watchin' her a prancin',
all through the kitchen, dancin'...
for she was & sizzlin'...
hummin' to those Mississippi tunes...

Funny curlers too, upon...
her head...for a new... Hair dew,...
she was, a swirlin'-in that bakers apron,
when her a bobbin' to...
those Mississip-pi blues,

'Pots were a knockin'...
Grandma a sockin' down all she brews,
while that kettle there was whistlin',
in har-mo-ny, with them good ole...
good ole...mississip-pi moves,'

That floor there, was a bouncin'
holdin' hands we were a jumpin',
an-a hoppin' In the kitchen, to those...
                  sounds ...
Where Grandma's feet were a stompin',
In her new...New-white-sexy-pat-en-
(ya hoo)

Details | Light Poetry | |

I Had To Write This Poem

I had to write this poem 
because I thought of this one great line,
What do you think -
will it stand the test of time?

Well, I had to write it down
to deter other poets stealing this idea;
You know lines are clutched from the atmosphere,
Or they fall like apples, spill over like beer.

I had to write this poem,
Because I thought of this one great line;
Like a beat messiah,
My acid milk turns to wine.

And now I feel fine, and your pleasure
in my one sparkling line.
I had to write this poem,
Hidden in this gem of a line.

Details | Lyric | |

Erin Go Braless

From tiny gals with itty-bitty bippies to larger ladies with super-dooper droopers, we curse the “men” who design underwire iron maidens. My “pointers” don’t bounce (as a friend observed), so why submit to torturous braziers? I’m glad they don’t droop – makes body surfing easier, though surfboard owners argue, “Rudders help." Despite chidings from my sister (estranged now; I don’t miss her), I saunter through life in comfort. From 32A to 44 Triple-D, who will stand unbridled with me as we create a “bonfire of the vanities”? On a huge wooden statue of Genghis Khan we’ll place our bras – strap them on and dance in a delight only primitive tribal ladies know. You can add girdles, chastity belts too, and every foot-crunching pair of shoes. On St. Patrick’s Day we’ll march proud in a parade, singing, “Erin, go braless” all the way!

Details | Dramatic monologue | |

who says

I wouldn't wanna be anybody else, hey 
You made me insecure, to me I wasn't good enough 
But who are you to judge When you're a diamond in the rough
 I'm sure you got some things You'd like to change about yourself
 But when it comes to me I wouldn't want to be anybody else
 I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me You got every right to a beautiful life, 
come on
 Who says, who says you're not perfect 
Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty Who says you're not pretty Who says you're not beautiful, who says?
 It's such a funny thing How nothing's funny when it's you 
You tell 'em what you mean But they keep whitin' out the the truth
 It's like the work of art That never get to see the light Keep you beneath the stars Won't let you touch the sky
 I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me You got every right to a beautiful life,
 come on
 Who says, who says you're not perfect 
Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty 
Who says you're not pretty
 Who says you're not beautiful, who says?
 Who says you're not star potential Who says you're not presidential Who says you can't be in movies Listen to me, listen to me
 Who says you don't pass the test 
Who says you can't be the best Who said, who said? 
Would you tell me who said that, yeah Who said
 Who says, who says you're not perfect
 Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty 
Who says you're not pretty 
Who says you're not beautiful, who says?
 Who says you're not perfect 
Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty Who says you're not pretty Who says you're not beautiful, who says

Details | Lyric | |

The Wine Song

Chianti, Riesling, Chardonnay;
What kinda wine we gonna have today?
Pass that bottle, if you please -
I think I'll have a little more Chablis!

Swirl that stuff 'round in the glass...
Show 'em all that you got class!
Has it got the nose? Has it got the look?
Can you use it when you cook?

     Wine, Wine, Wine
     All hail the Grape Divine!
     Wine, Wine, Wine
     Makes everyone feel fine!
     You got yours, and I got mine -
     Wine, Wine, Wine, Wine, Wine!

Sniff that bouquet up yer nose;
"What's the Year, d'you suppose?"
Could be red, or could be white -
Either way, we're havin' wine tonight!

Truckin' on down to da liquor store;
Runnin' out - gotta get some more!
The folks at the counters all know my face -
I practically live down at the place!

     Wine, Wine, Wine
     All hail the Grape Divine!
     Wine, Wine, Wine
     Makes everyone feel fine!
     You got yours, and I got mine -
     Wine, Wine, Wine, Wine, Wine!

Tokay, Shiraz, Pinot Noir!
I ain't never seen so many wines before!
Step right up and take a little taste -
I ain't gonna let a single drop go to waste!

     Wine, Wine, Wine
     All hail the Grape Divine!
     Wine, Wine, Wine
     Makes everyone feel fine!
     You got yours, and I got mine -
     Wine, Wine, Wine, Wine, Wine!

Details | Lyric | |

A Pub-ng We Go

Hey, Ho! A pub’ng we go… And I’ll bring along, those Zany Trolls.
What’s better, than to drink, with friends, my Dear… as merrily, off we go!

We’ll leave the frats, in the dust, and bring The Bun, merrily, along.
He had a great run, at Easter time, now he can let, the good times roll.
Who knows best, than a nest of Trolls, how to have, a really great time!
A Biker Bar should fill our sails, as we go, courting the best… of it all.

Hey, Ho! A pub’ng we go… And I’ll bring along, those Zany Trolls.
What’s better, than to drink, with friends, my Dear…as merrily, off we go!

The beers great, the girls’ first rate, I’ll ride a full-blown Harley Hog.
To ride them down, across the town, my hair, flowing behind, in the air.
But first we’ll make a new drinking song, betting on, who’s best, by far.
Biker Dudes, Trolls enthused, raise their mugs in unity, again, once more!

Hey, Ho! A pub’ng we go… And I’ll bring along, those Zany Trolls.
What’s better, than to drink, with friends, my Dear… as merrily, off we go!

It’s all fun, as with pool cues in hand, we try to, learn to play Eight Ball.
We’ll dance on the floor, and some on the bar, as rowdier we become.
But we’re the best, with glass in fist, as we sing our new… drinking song.
So don’t be glum! Here, come along, to laughter amid, such joyful fun.
Hey, Ho! A pub’ng we go… And I’ll bring along, those Zany Trolls.
What’s better, than to drink, with friends, my Dear… as merrily, off we go!

We’ll have fun, then move along, as our song wins, and the tab is yours.
You can join, as comes, the next bar, and we’ll, start all over, once more!
It’s party time, until dawn, for Trolls can hold, great quantities of rum.
As drinking games come, we win every time, as the losers pay the bill.

Hey, Ho! A pub’ng we go… And I’ll bring along, those, Zany Trolls.
What’s better, than to drink, with friends, my Dear…as merrily, off we go!

(A drinking song for the pure fun it: sung like a pirate song clinking mugs.)

Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

Details | Free verse | |

A Simple Southern Christmas

It's gonna be a simple southern Christmas here.
All I want from Santa is some egg nog, bourbon and beer.
I'm gonna wait on Santa Christmas Eve night,
and when he's not lookin' I just might,
steal his reindeer.
It's gonna be a simple southern Christmas here.
I'm sending out my Christmas cheer.
I'm gonna sit on my front porch swing and sing.
It will be a good thing to hear those jingle bells ring.
I thought I seen Santa on the backwoods bayou road,
but instead it was a big fat toad.
It'a a wonderful simple southern Christmas here.
Santa just brought me some egg nog, bourbon, and beer.
When he wasn't lookin' I stole his reindeer.
So now I can deliver my Christmas cheer.
But hurry, hurry, I'm in a rush,
got to give that reindeer a little push.
Got to go, got to go,
got to get home to fix my gumbo.
It is Christmas day,
and I'm in  a rush I must say.
It's gonna be a simple southern Christmas here.
Just add egg nog, bourbon and beer.
Mix it up with some Christmas cheer.
I'm ready for Christmas every year.

Details | Lyric | |

Logistics - A parody of a certain delivery company's television advert, to the tune That's Amore

Yes we don’t give a toss,
If your package is lost,
That’s logistics,
If it’s broken or bent,
Or has multiple dents,
That’s logistics,
If it’s fragile and breaks,
It was not our mistake,
That’s logistics,
Well you were not at home,
So we sent it to Rome,
That’s logistics!

So incredibly late,
That it’s gone out of date,
That’s logistics,
We don’t know where it went,
Are you sure it was sent?
That’s logistics,
Your parcels we’ll stash,
But we’ll still take your cash,
That’s logistics,
What an item on time?!
Oh no wait, it’s not mine,
That’s logistics!

Details | Lyric | |

12 days Of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas 
My true love sent to me
Twelve extra pounds
Eleven lots of will power
Ten ways to cook tofu
Nine work out cd’s
Eight health warnings
Seven ryvita biscuits
Six types of muesli
My five a day
Four calorie counters
Three sets of scales
Two low fat yoghurts
And one new diet for me

Owen Yeates

Details | Lyric | |

The Ego is a funny thing

The Ego is a funny thing
Tell you what you want to hear
Have you grinning from ear to ear
It’ll assure you of everything

It’ll drive you to achieve
Make you look cool, Make you look mean 
The ego’s got a plan
It’s going to teach what to believe

It’s going to show you what you need to know
Don’t listen to what others say
Don’t worry I’ll guide the way’
Have you looking like a fool, while you’re feeling cool

You need some money, I’ll teach you greed
Dress the part show the illusion
Do a little dance, have a little drink
Laugh and cheat and think its ok

Need a date, first you got to play the game
Put you in a fancy car
Wear shades to hide your eyes
protect you from being recognized

You’re in control or at least you think you are 
Opinionated to the core
Ego dipping, forever tripping
Hand waving finger flipping

The ego’s a funny thing
It’ll miss-lead you in every way
Then call you a friend
Confuse you and do all over again

Have you fighting with all your friends
Like a game without an end
It’s that demon in your mind 
it wants to control you every time 

(Verse 1 repeat)
The Ego is a funny thing
Tell you what you want to hear
Have you grinning from ear to ear
It’ll assure you of everything

Doesn’t matter if its night or day
Cause the ego wants to play
Always laughing when you’re thinking
Right or wrong it can’t be swayed.

Details | Ballad | |

Pan and Satan

Pan and Satan.

One morning I was walking in my garden
When old Jupiter came up close to me.
And standing by his side stood fair Demeter
Who smiled at me so warm and tenderly.
She said “my son we’ve come to give our blessings
And we’ve a story we would like to tell.
Of how the great God Pan turned into Satan
And child I hope that you will listen well.

For Pan he was the god of natures beauty
And he wore no taint till Satan came along.
He’d play his pipes so gaily in the meadows
Though sometimes there was mischief in his song.

Then Satan said to pan “well I don’t give a damn
I’m going to steal your horns and make you me.
Then I’ll build a master plan and strike some fear in man
So always he will live in misery.
And that’s the way old Pan became young Satan
Yet still the old one dances deep within.
But if the two had never joined together
Then where would dwell the ugliness of sin.


Details | Lyric | |

All I Have Left

Sirens screaming down the street/
cat at my feet/BBC on the tele/worried
about Kelly/air outside laden with moisture, rain/
carrying the song of a far away train/
brother can you take me back/where I came from/
can you take me back?/haunting Beatles tune no
one remembers/
so many Septembers/waiting for the arrival/
of the tool of survival/sterile
stainless steel/the past so real/hurry doc/the ticking
clock/is winding down/while no one's around/wisps of
grey ectoplasm/psychological spasm/
losing my grip/I'm too old to be so hip/:-P
life's been one long acid trip/too funny to die/
now, don't start to cry/
fish gotta' swim/
bird gotta' fly/
man gotta' ask himself: why, why, why/
laugh people, don't feel bereft/
humor, my friends, is all I have left.

© Danielle White

Details | Lyric | |


I am sooo in love with you
Each and ever~~y night

Sleepwalk, ~~all I do is sleepwalk

I am sooo in love with you
When I sleep~at night  

Every night, all alone with you in mind
Every night I'm dreaming of  you alone
As you float on by dreaming dear of you to night
Sleepwalk all I do is 
All I do is sleepwalk
Without you
I'm dreaming of you
I'm dreaming of you 
I'm dreaming of you
I'm loving you, loving you 
Luna, lu~~nest~~a~~luna
That blue pill 
I'm in love with you
I'm so in love with you 
I'm so in love with you

Sponsor: Craig Cornish
Contest: Sleepwalk
Chose Ventures as my music guide..
Finis October 21, 2012
Click on " About This Poem"

Details | Lyric | |

Walkin' With My Wiener In My Hand......

(to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

See the frost, watch it glisten
Too much beer, I'm on a mission
To write my name in the snow 
With a funny yellow glow
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!

Got a trenchcoat that I'm wearing
So that I can do some "sharing"
Maybe my legs are too white
That gives 'em a fright
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!

At the lounge we were chillin'
After time, my bladder's fillin'
I stagger left and then right
Hope I make it in time
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!

Feels so good to drain my lizard
From behind I hear a whisper
"I hope you'll be done soon, 
'cause you're in the ladies room!"
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!

Details | Lyric | |

If History Was Food Part 2

If history was food part 2

Details | Haiku | |

Johnny Come Blow Your Horn

pillar of trumpets
are no match in a garden
for the hummingbird

Details | Lyric | |

Another Poets Mind

A journey into my inner most mind Will take you to a place no others can find A place where words dance in delight Sparkling so brightly such a wondrous sight Letters zoom across the glowing sky Joining into words as I watch them fly Some rest on clouds with a shimmering twinkle Creating new words with an alphabet sprinkle Without a thought they are grabbed from where they can be found And formed into sentences as they bounce around on the ground With a thought they will start to flow from my pen Writing them all down until it begins once again
Dan Kearley:11-22-11

Details | Lyric | |

The Obama Song

             Barack Obama
             Barack Obama
             He's the U.S.A.'s own Dalai Lama.

             Barack Obama
             Barack Obama
             He's the guy who's here to save yer Momma.

Verse 1:

Oh yeah Obama's here an' he's really cool
Gonna tell yer kids to pay attention in school
Gonna make us all follow the Golden Rule
'Cause he knows Michelle ain't gonna suffer no fools!

He's an all-around, straightup nice kinda guy
Who don't get upset when ya scream "You Lie!"
He cares about the Earth and he cares about the sky
Gives ya cash for the clunkers you were stupid to buy.


Verse 2:

He's gonna stim-u-late us, gonna spread the wealth,
Gonna write out a prescription for the nation's health,
Gonna come down on Insurance like a big black Stealth
Gonna take those stem cells down off the shelf!

He's gonna see we win in Afghanistan,
Someway, somehow - without a plan.
When yer rude to da cops he is da Man
Who'll give ya both beers an' make it right again.


Verse 3:

He's appointed more Czars than the U.S.S.R.,
Gonna raise the mileage on yer car
Gonna lower those emissions both near and far
And do it lookin' snappy like a First Exec Star.

Can't answer "yes" or "no", it takes a paragraph
To get to the point, then it's good for a laugh
The Right hates everybody servin' on his Staff
- But their side of the Aisle makes most of the gaffes.


Verse 4:

Is there anything Obamaman cannot do?
The assertions are fantastic; some may even be true.
He beat out Mrs. Clinton right outta da blue,
Now he's lookin' out for me and he's lookin' out for you.

If his ears were any bigger he could teach himself to fly,
But despite his geekiness he's still a heckuva guy
His heart is fulla Hope, his head is in the sky
An' if you give him grief Ms. Pelosi'll make you cry.


Chorus et finis

Details | Limerick | |


Clip it on and don't think twice
Clip it on cuz it looks nice.
Clip it on so you know where it is at.
Clip it on maybe to a hat.
Clip it on so it does not fall off.
Clip it on so your pet don't runaway.
Clip it on so it stays in place.
Clip it on in outer space.
Clip it on every day.
Clip it on around the world.

Details | Lyric | |

I whispered lightly as a rose

I whispered lightly as a rose
To grease my oily bagpipe,
And sniffing with her hairy nose
A dwarf flew into sight.

‘Pull down your flabby chopsticks, man.’
She ordered like a waiter,
And lowering my name to Stan
Got on all fours to cater.

‘I am Dame Doris Chucklebum.’
She laughed but half an inch.
‘I like things that are rarely done.’
Then stroked me with a pinch.

‘Take back thy sweaty chollocks, love.’
I pleaded like a pro,
And with a hefty boxing glove
Took on the lady so.

It lasted less than half a tick,
Less if you counted slow.
And with a little knowing trick
Fled fleeing on the go.

‘Come back! Don’t go!’ she wept with ploy,
‘I’ll change like Whitney Whopper.’
Enjoying but a little joy
And playing with her chopper.

Details | Lyric | |

It's My Birthday, It is Your Birthday

It’s My Birthday

It’s my birthday…  I look out the window there is no one for me owe so, owe so lonely poor me . 

It’s my  birthday…  you surprise me, with a Barber-Q grill  with a cooler that chills with a grin we show white grills.

Happy Birthday… it’s my Birthday I am still waiting,  it   is almost the end of my the day, just waiting on you to wish me a happy birthday which, well make my day. 

It’s my birthday…you do not remember that day, can we go out for we can remember that day?

It’s my birthday… I can share it or alone, some share it with a twin, or with a friend and the ones who stay to the ends like a good friend.

It my birthday…  its looks like another day to me I just need someone or something to comfort with me a room full of women and with hand full men, a juice in cup, juice in glass, with a sweet lady and grill on cut grass that may make every day feel like my birthday, with a touch of class. 
It’s your birthday… it’s your birthday you should all-ways win on your birthday, if do not have a mate you sneak and go on second party date form those who may player hate.  
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday!  it comes and go, I see you come through, looking out my window with a hand full company that is what a party really should need, yes it’s sweet, sweet with music and sweet with treats or  it must be the money, or food, or brinks, or just me.

Poetry 7/7/12 by author Keith Kadell

Details | Lyric | |


This poem will never win
It doesn't stand a chance
My pen isn't thinking well
My rhymes don't dance
But still I write it anyway
Cause it lingers in my head
This poem is just for me
In a contest it'd be dead

I've had winning poems
This isn't one of them
Some that make you cry
Others that make ya grin
This one doesn't even try
But it won't let go of me
So I'm writing it out now
In hopes it will let me be!


Details | Lyric | |

No dogs allowed

All ye, all ye, all come free,  
hello everybody come party with me! 
We're going to rock this party to the morning light. 
We're gonna rock this party all day and all night!! Ooh! The fat 
cat's singing on the center stage and the cats are pouncing in a furry rage. 
So come on everybody let's join this crowd. Whoa! holdup the sign outside says
Outside says "No dogs allowed!" Bump, bump, bump, bump, badee, bump!.

Details | Lyric | |

My first car-2

My first car

A great uncle of mine, those days, bought an used car,
Which  turned  out to be such a terrible sore,
Frantic, he pushed it up a hill, in front of all
And, sent  it down  to the river below in a free fall.
Not so  bad was the used one I first bought
Still it stretched  my nerves and finances so taut
Workshops at hand saved it from a similar fate
Till I sold it for a song without a second thought.

 4th Mar 12
S.Jagathsimhan Nair
For: Carol Brown’s  "My first car"contest

Details | Carpe Diem | |


Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.

Details | Lyric | |

See Monkey See

The new year has arrived
With a new format for the brain
Made promises to myself
Made with intentions to keep

All the ones of the past
Now gone with an old year
One now at rest
One I gave all my best

New patterns 
New people
New thoughts
New harbor
New begin 
New me

Now like the old saying
It's time to
"See Monkey See"

Details | Lyric | |

I'm Not the One

I don't believe you
You total bastard
Because I didn't give you any
Because I didn't let you get down with me
You wanna walk around with a frown
Treating me so cold and rude
I ain't a piece of food
You chew on and spit out
I don't give a damn if you pout
You think the thing between your legs makes you a man
Check this out you can have fun with your hand
I'm not the one to be treated like dirt
Go ahead and throw your game to another skirt
So go find that store and pick out your whore
And remember I'm a lady with class
When you lay down with dogs and wake up with fleas
I hope you get a rash on your a!!
But I'm not the one!

Details | Lyric | |

Hard to Forget

Hard to Forget
Earie the  mournin I had the cock screw
At the aftunun, I washed the sunnin gay
Im just wanderin ova evrytin
Evry momen we shed in our useful days

Hoe kan I stop to lovin ye (no...w)
Hoe kan I cease to make ye hapi
 Hoe kan I resixt ye in ma laive (that's why)
I'll holeways loaf ye delhi

Steel remembrin when we melt
Steel remembrin tins we shed 2 gender
Hoe suit those day we spent worse
Hoe wail down memo lane to bring on the murder...


I kan't just forgate evrytin...
I steel rememba well we melt
I steel rememba the time we shed
I steel rememba... evrytin evrytin


So is tru the world is mall
I kan't beliv I fall in lob
Yeah I fall in  and fet no same
Is there any crown in being in lob?

Very hard, very very hard
Hard to forget
Very hard, very very hard
Hard to forget
For I'm in love ooooo
This is hard to forgo. 

For: Roy Jerden's Malapropisms and Mondegreens Contest

Details | Lyric | |

my tattoo

One last look before I throw you out the door
You will never say you are sorry anymore
But I can’t do this, it’s hurting even more
When it’s always me, picking you, up off the floor
But I will be always be, hung up on you
Last night I put your beautiful face, on my tattoo
Now there will never be a way, to stop seeing you
Last night I put your beautiful face on my tattoo

My heart was pierced you stuck that pin in tight
Right into my heart you pushed it all just right
And pinned yourself forever on my heart
And I have no strength to rip this all apart	

There is no more sense, to anything you say
I saw your old girl friends, and I blew them all away 
You can say forever that you have had it all
I want to get a shot gun and blast you through a wall
But I can’t ever stop seeing you			                                                 
Last night I put your beautiful face on my tattoo

Details | Lyric | |

Sixteen Trillion Going on Seventeen

Our debt’s sixteen trillion going on seventeen
Obama it’s time to think

Better beware coz your new health care
Is putting us on the brink

Our debt’s sixteen trillion going on seventeen
No reading between the lines

We are indebted and surely headed
For a dreadful decline

Totally unprepared are you,
To cut government spending

You’re unfair and narcissistic
With you there’s no happy ending

You need someone older and wiser
Telling you what to do

But seventeen trillion going on eighteen
Is more your cup of brew


I owe sixteen trillion going on seventeen
I know that I’m naïve

Cronies I meet tell me I’m sweet
And willingly we deceive

I owe sixteen trillion going on seventeen
Innocent of why that rose

I think it was Bush giving me dirty looks
My how my nose grows

Totally unprepared am I
To face a world of reality

Crafty and sly and scared am I
If they learn the truth about me

I need someone older and wiser
But don’t tell me what to do

Coz seventeen trillion going on eighteen
Is in store for all of you.

A little parody where 'face the music' meets 'The Sound of Music'

Details | Lyric | |

Sky Rockets In Flight, Unicorn's Delight

The origin of the unicorn begin's in
A time and habitat where we did not live in
In Another Galaxy it could have been in
Or in an unexplored magical dimension

It was a land overflowing with milk and honey
Pure and abundant was it's skillful offspring
Enchanted with a forest that lulls you to sleep
With it's down reaching hum stemming from the trees
The little creatures were cordial and could speak
The streams of life were the preachers of the peace
The fireflies dancing a mild ballet at night
Would arouse even the most dormant soul to sing 
But it was unicorns that governed the land
and so to say put everything under one's wing

A unicorn was considered the horse of the God's
It had the chiseled structure of a steeled spartan
It's horn holstered the power of a lighting rod
Sporting a mane as majestic as a mountain and
When it bucked on its hoofs the earth stood still in awe

They spent years on this planet protecting our spot
Behind the scenes in old men's wars they fought
But it was in the hidden rainbows with gold pots
Where their undisturbed and placid image was copped

Now its unfortunate we do not seem them nowadays
mainly because they did not embark on noah's ark
and all the CO-2 in the atmosphere we sprayed
means their world no longer remains and
Now their remains are just horses with no horns
and no potential to fly, so all they do is eat hay, ride and race
and when they die we just assume to make them into glue
JK! Happy Birthday!
* P.D. Unicorn Poem contest

Details | Rhyme | |

Quit My Job, Smashed My Car

Quit my job, smashed my car
My back does throb, need to learn guitar

So I can make, a silly song
And I can sing, it all day long
About how, my God is strong
So that even now, nothing’s wrong

Even though, I quit my job
smashed my car, my back does throb

Life is hard, but I’ve got God
So I won’t let any thought
Any worry or fear
Convince me you’re not near

Even when, I quit my job,
Smashed my car, my back does throb
Life is hard, but I won’t sob
I need to learn guitar

Details | Lyric | |

The confusing world of Poetry

The confusing world of poetry

Clerihews, and couplets
Acrostics, and Haikus
Me head is spinning round and round
Oh Lord I’m so confused
I’d like to read about the stuff
But I really ain’t got time
I’m too busy trying to write
In rhythm and in rhyme

I never was so very clever
I flunked in all at school
I guess me dad, he got it right
He called me village fool
He tried to make me turn out clever
But he didn’t have a chance
Cause I’m a dreamer through and through
You can see that at first glance.

So I don’t know about complex things
I’m just a simple man
But me, I’ve wrote eight thousand songs
And I’ve done it cause I can
The words roll out like a waterfall
And they come just like they are
And I talk about love, and I talk about life
And the flowers and the stars.

25 July 2013 @ 0925hrs.

Details | Lyric | |

The Unhappy Moth

She chose a red scarf. The most red 
of them all.
Of a dark red, a sweet and thick red color,
just as wine.

She carved from the red scarf
from the middle
to the size of a Martini glass.

Then she carved one more glass,
and she kept carving 
till she fell asleep.

she saw her Beloved Moth 
flirting with a Younger Moth, 
carving together from a sweater
while she was getting busy,
carving in the shelves.

The Unhappy Moth drank lots of wine
woolen wine, 
last night.
She drank lots, too much
for a Moth.
The Unhappy Moth got drunk
and fell asleep
on the red scarf,
with a heart filled with peace.

She was not afraid no more. 
Now she could be seen easily,
laying on the scarf
and easily crushed.

The Unhappy Moth was not 
afraid of death no more,
at least, now she knew 
how wonderful the red scarfs are
and that they taste
like red wine.

Details | Haiku | |

All About the Music: The Infinite Magic of Lyricism

Pop may be catchy
But not lyrically deep
Case in point: Chris Brown.

(N.B. Poem written after hearing "Don't Wake Me Up")

Details | Light Poetry | |

The Self-Hate Miracle Plan

Let's lose weight,
Let's discover the
yin and yang of
protein and complex
It's never too late
to let your
corporeal fat eat
So let's lose
And, then?
Then, let's look
inside your
cavernous space,
And discover your
previously hidden, 
And uniquely
And unparagoned, 
Blissful Essence.

Let's go!

Let's lose weight.
Because it's the
only way - to lose
Let's deflate your
billowing concertina
Let's drain away
those flabby
bingo-arm thighs;
Sight the edacity: I
snack, I die.
Chant: For I am
Spirit, pure and
eternal..For I am
Spirit, pure and
Let's lose weight.

Pain-feast your
Really utilise your
hidden pneuma
Oh, and,
The flashing lights,
the tingling arms?
Mouth striking
shapes to burglar
Perhaps, a smidgen
of self harm?
Tremors, blushing,
perspiring, shaking,
That's okay:
If it ain't
It's a positive
thing to focus there
your self-hate.

It's not easy to
lose weight -
Especially when you
refuse to lose
No, we mustn't allow
your feckless
mentalism to
Appreciate yourself
Scale away your
inducing corpus,
And irrigate.

Stare yourself down,
reflecting off your
Speed-read all my
Glean the
enlightened screed
of my shapely New
Age dream;
Allow me to melt
away your pizza
Gracefully fade you
to your sculpted

Unsuicide bomb those
spare tyres with
Vacuum-pack your
stomach with tender
wires - see above.
Let's lose weight.
And strike your
utter repose!

And you'll soon
delightedly discover
your swooning lover,
And how the sweet
mirror shall melt of

Be like a sliver of
crystal glass;
As svelte as the
skin of flowing
Skim through the air
like a flying
Writhe your
Deposing ounces, you
shall footfall
Let's lose weight.

You can do it!
..For I am Spirit,
pure and eternal..
Let's go!

for more humorous
verse: sukispangles

Details | Limerick | |


With heaping speed like the flash
Am ah make a dash
My bed calls, dive in... splashhh
It was an honor and a pleasure
Poetry writers you'll so clever
Poetrysoup had me in a spell
O! well, farewell...
Goodnight ya'll
Catch you on the rebound
Tomorrow then, sleep now call
10:30 PM zzzzz-ing sound 
My bed Callsssssss

©Copyright January 22, 2012 by Brian Pierre-Alexander
© All Rights Reserved

Details | Light Poetry | |

Welcome To The Garden Gnome Shopping Channel

Welcome to The Garden Gnome Shopping Channel,
If this is your first time here -
Where have you been?

We mass produce uniquely,
Our gnome-lines are refreshed twice-weekly,
Each gnome has it's own i.d number,
So rest assured,
One can never be mistaken for another.

Mould-engineered by plastic injection craftsmen,
Then hand-finished by aerosol paint artisans,
Your garden gnome is guaranteed authentic -
Their bobble-hatted face won't drip,
And their shatter-proof head will nod happily on windy days.

We are the only licensed garden gnome sellers in the UK.
So what are you waiting for?

Rome wasn't built in a day,
But our gnomes are,
Meaning your gnome could be with you within thirty-six hours,
Or - if you require it urgently - within twenty-four,
And it will cost you only four pounds more,
Couriered directly from our air-conditioned warehouse in Bangalore.

Details | ABC | |

The Garbage Truck

As we stop, I pull out my jar of Vic's vapor rub 
I put some up my nostrils, this job you cannot love 
But it pays the bills, I make my living 
Trash day is when people are most giving 
They are selfless when getting rid of what they see as junk 
Whew! That smell from the back of a garbage truck 
I spot a pair of shoes for my kid 
I will wash them first, get rid of the odor of rotted squid 
My niece's birthday is coming up soon 
I found a playhouse with dishes, forks, cups and spoons 
It's family night tonight at home 
The unknown video I found will be shown 
Finding the right stuff is a matter of luck 
It is just my point of view from the back of a garbage truck 
I found a half a bucket of KFC 
I take a smell, it smells as fresh as can be, what a surprise for my family 
Two hours later, the family can't keep their meal down 
They are so ungrateful about the food I found 
I am on a strict budget, I have to find a way to save a couple bucks 
More dinners will be found because I work on the back of a garbage truck 

Details | Lyric | |

The Death Of Cupid

On the subject of love notions bring me to believe that I am done being oblivious and subjecting myself to pipe dreams. As foolish as it may seem, I shot cupid down on target with a laser beam. Stood over the soul and stole his bow and arrow, reclaimed my own Love and who I wanted to aim for. Not bitter just tired of the same ol' same, addressing every situation differently and still the b.s remains. Is it me???? Got me feeling like Drake and Jamie (Am I falling 4 the same type?) so I am dealing with myself from the neck up, don't wanna disregard love but I'm FEELING sick and in need of a check up. Evaluating self and keeping the goodies tight, adorning myself with needed essentials and able to sleep at night. So I buried the little cupid and left w/ a sound mind, Loving me is infinite until love finds me in God's time! victory is mines. The most high and I got this,  shedding the idol garbage. R.I.P CUPID.

Details | Lyric | |


You’ll never know how much you speak to me I just can’t fathom the beauty that I see Your heart goes out in everything you do Your mind spews rain of music so true I am lost in the light of your unimpeachable words Everything around me, in me, feels so damn absurd I futilely try and fight a battle never won And realize that I am already gone Ooooh I am mesmerized Oh, I can’t be surprised That I am mesmerized You can see it in my eyes Am I blushing? Am I rushing this through? Are you laughing? Oh damn, he knows it’s true I am mesmerized Oh, I can’t be surprised Oh so mesmerized He can see it in my eyes Knowing you’re far from mine You’re words still stop all time Because you’re so damn sublime You’re simply out of this world So just get out of my mind! Oh! I’m mesmerized…. If there was a way inside your mind There still wouldn’t be me to find You’re moving so blasted fast And I just can’t reach the mask Man, it seems so useless, to try and make you see That I want you beyond all reason, knowing it can never be As you thrill the crowd, as you kiss the girl I’ll just stare at your pictures, wishing I was her Ooooh I am mesmerized Oh, I can’t be surprised That I am mesmerized You can see it in my eyes Am I blushing? Am I rushing this through? Are you laughing? Oh damn, he knows it’s true I am mesmerized Oh, I can’t be surprised Oh so mesmerized He can see it in my eyes Knowing you’re far from mine You’re words still stop all time Because you’re so damn sublime You’re simply out of this world So just get out of my mind! So lost, so gone, this war was never won Mesmerized
* Dedicated to the singer Anthony Snape, And...a secret person that no one shall know about! Muahahaha! (except Becca)

Details | Couplet | |

Spritual Gangster

You don’t want to miss this
But don’t be confused this aint Christmas
You’ve gotta get real my brotha and kiss this
I’m a spiritual criminal with lipstick

If you’re lucky you just might make my hit list
Coz I’m a murderer killing *****es ego’s with fake riffs
If you’re a moral criminal and do the minimal you can’t hit this
We must stand together my brother to beat this

Pleasure - pain, generosity - blame, loss - gain infamy and greed
It’s not hard don’t get angry and there’s no need to bleed
It’s just like John Lennon said when he said love is all you need
Stand with me my friend and let go of fear if you want to be freed 

I’ll mind punch you in the heart and give you a soul diss
Aint no big brotha gonna hold me and frisk this
You’re not lost or all alone coz my arrows fire straight and can’t miss
Things aint changed and love can still fix this

Pleasure pain, Generosity blame, loss gain infamy and greed
It’s not hard don’t get angry and there’s no need to bleed
It’s just like John Lennon said when he said love is all you need
Stand with me my friend and let go of fear if you want to be freed 
Love -love- love is all you need

Details | Lyric | |

Tube Ambition

Tube Ambition

I wanna be one under,
I bin' thinkin' it's the safest bet;
I haven't the skill to get any thrill,
From being on this planet.

Yea, I done tole me Ma,
She said "yor jes like yor Da";
"He went an don it and how
We slum it, go on, leave me now."

I wanna be one under,
Famous, y'know, for a while;
Can see me photo, in the Metro,
So I'll try to keep on a smile.

Yeah, don' say I'm not ambitious,
I may be on the dole;
But I can get in them history books,
By bein' in a hole.

I wanna be one under,
I tole my friends the same;
But now the blasted tube's on strike,
My plans are done today.

Yeah, I used to be a no-gooder,
But now I found what I like;
I'm cyclin' through the streets of London,
Thank crikey for Boris's bike !

I don' wanna be one under,
What, me, I'm under progression;
I've seen the worst, now time for best,
Forget the bloody recession.

Details | Lyric | |


I really love myself,
I'll do bad and good things,
I'll make things easier,
I'd like to face my problems.
I can change my life in an easier way,
Now I'm sitting here like a rocking chair.
I really know, How to make all this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I can do this all things,
In a different ways.
Go! go! go! go!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Funny person in everyday,
I make many person happy in a day,
I've wanted to have more friends,
Like many people live in our earth.
Everyday is a happy day,
Like everyone do this to their self,
I've wanted to have more friends,
Like many people live in our earth.

Details | Free verse | |

Reflections: Intellectualism

To Dine, To Die;
Conversations spiral
While thunderous eyes
Grasp concepts to recycle.

Constant debt crisis
A political paradox
Grating social devices
Over the sorting of socks.

An endless groan
Argumental paralysis
The debate grants no throne.

Over a roast
Potatoes won't listen
To who talks the most.

"That point is so interesting"
The floor is open for chat
"What is real?" not a thing
"Meow" adds the cat.

Details | Rhyme | |

The New Santa Claus

I'm locking up my house, because it's that time for thieves.
I need to Santa proof my place, because It's Christmas Eve.
If he does get in, I'm going to run and hide.
I left out some milk and cookies with rat pellets inside.
While he's eating the cookies and he's starting to sweat.
The reindeer will be caught in security nets.
"I'm sorry boys and girls, but Santa has to retire!"
I'm going to tie him to the tree and set poor Santa on fire.
Then I'm going to take the toys and keep them all to myself.
Even though I've been bad, no coals will be on my shelf.
Merry Christmas to me! This year is going to be grand!
I'll get whatever I want, if Christmas goes as I planned!
Wearing Santa Claus' suite I'll get in houses without keys.
In twenty seven minutes I'll rob twenty seven trees!
So all you little brats, don't you cry and sob.
With the recession and depression, I just needed a job.
A lot of things are going to change, but you all shouldn't be sad.
Now that I'm the new Santa, It doesn't matter who's bad.
I'll use the elves as my slaves and the toys will still come.
Instead of a Nintendo, you'll get a gallon of rum.
Toy guns are for babies, how about the real thing?
A candy neckless won't impress, I'll make sure that it's bling.
You said you wanted a pony? How about a deer that can fly?
No more lousy presents, no more socks, or bad ties.
I'll change... 
Wait... Wait a minute... Was that all just a dream?
Why do I only have coal under the tree and in my stocking?
Santa please come back! I promse I'll be better next year!
I promise I'll be good and I'll spred more Christmas cheer!

Did Santa Claus come back? Did he come like I thought he should?
No Santa didn't, but next year I'll be good!
I'll only do what is right, aleast to his satisfaction.
So he comes back to my house, and my plan goes back into action!

Details | Lyric | |

a woman

When a woman says "what "
She is asking for a lot >>
 For she is a river >>
  Love to flow forever >
   Don't mind if you float>>
    Swimming or on a boat>>>
     She can take you on and on >>
      From sun rise till dawn>>>

Details | Lyric | |

Werewoman of Brooklyn

When the moon is full
I show a certain inclination
It’s way worse than PMS
A truly hairy situation

My fur’s soft as silk
I get a bit hirsute
Me and others of my ilk
Are in wolfish pursuit

Ahh – Oooooh – Werewoman of Brooklyn
I’m a lady lycanthrope
But I’ll rip out your throat
Ah – Oooooh – Werewoman of Brooklyn
I’ll fulfill your dreams
If you don’t mind a few screams

It’s true I’ll tear you up 
If you dare cross me
An alpha female
Ain’t no one can boss me

Me and my weregirls
Hang out at Brighton Beach
Go moonbathing at midnight 
Attack anyone within reach

Ahh – Ooooooh – Werewomen of Brooklyn
From Flatbush to Cozine
Prospect Heights to Fort Greene
Ahh – Ooooooh – Werewoman of Brooklyn
Yeah, we’re representin’
No intention of repentin’

I have a special someone
My friends say it’ll never work
I should stick to my own kind
And while I know I really oughta
She’s Dracula’s daughter
Her love bites are so fine!

Ahh – Oooooh – Werewoman of Brooklyn
I’m a lady lycanthrope
But I’ll rip out your throat
Ah – Oooooh – Werewoman of Brooklyn
I’ll fulfill your dreams
If you don’t mind a few screams

For Carol Brown's Funny Spooks Contest

Details | Lyric | |

Yankee Drooling Senior

I'm a Yankee Drooling Senior Trousers pulled up nipple high Poop stains on my shirt and in my hair Happy but I don't know why Got to go to see my doctor Really painful when I pee All you people hear me farting Better hide the children Cause I am about to let one fly © Jack Ellison 2013 (To the tune of Yankee Doodle Dandy. Apologies to George M. Cohan.) I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy A Yankee Doodle, do or die A real live nephew of my Uncle Sam Born on the Fourth of July I've got a Yankee Doodle sweetheart She's my Yankee Doodle joy Yankee Doodle came to London Just to ride the ponies I am the Yankee Doodle Boy

Details | Lyric | |

oil spill in the gulf

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Spongebob Squarepants!
Who died in an oil spill because of BP?
Spongebob Squarepants!
Absorbent and yellow and covered in oil!
Spongebob Squarepants!
Because of the oil spill he's starting to boil!
Spongebob Squarepants!
If nautical nonsense is something you wish!
Spongebob Squarepants!
Don't jump off the deck or you'll die like the fish!
Spongebob Squarepants!

Details | Couplet | |

Mixology Brews blends mixtures concoctions

By Sashi.Prabhu(zeauoxian0
(18th February 2012 nite at Kentucky shack on colva beach)
I was browsing through the menu and laid my eyes upon interesting cocktails and mock tails.
I snapped up the names with the blackberry camera and wove them together to couplets.
Dedicate this one to my friends who love and cherish the cocktails and mock tails.

With love from zeauoxian, black lady, Tom Collins, Three peaks merlot, white lady, John Collins. Between the sheets, pink pusy, screaming orgasm, Pink lady, lost bikini, orgasm. Misty nite, hairy navel, ding a ling, Sunset, buttock clencher, Singapore sling. Lady killer, fuzzy navel, coconut diaquiry, Bloody Mary, fenny wenny woo woo, orange diaquiry. Pure calypso, climax, kick in the balls, Caribbean fever, planter’s punch, rocks for the dolls. Peach pleasure, tequila sunrise, margarita, Pina coloda, sunset, caipirnha. Coco colada, slippery dick, the hammer, Gimlet, sweet nips, tequila slammer. Passona orange, passona lime, sex on the beach, Orange blossom, lime blossom. Passionate peach. Gin fiz, Cuba libre, Roby Roy, Black lagoon, black Russian, beach buoy. Fight fiesta, stinger rum cocktail, side car, Negroni, pink elephant, brandy lime shot from the bar. Mohjito, long island iced tea, whiskey sour, Renaissance merlot, vina tarapoca chardonnay. All these heady concoction, Many of them and lots of action. The science of achohol blending, of the art of mixology, All these to the tipper is fun and to do with a smooth tripology!!!!!!!!

Details | Lyric | |

In The Spotlight

Let the spotlight shine
And let the music out
Don't waste no time
I need to dance about

Singer in the spotlight
Giving his songs away
Makin' life feel just right
At least just for today

Float me off from here
I need to see the sunlight
Maybe I'm not clear
I need to get my head right

Help me out this time
Play my favorite song
Even out of time
You can't get it wrong

Singer in the spotlight
A million miles away
Makin' life feel just right
Can I hear him play

That's the very one
I can float away
Even when it's done 
Another one should play

Don't take that bow
Don't go away
Do you have to leave now
We all want to play

Singer in the spotlight
Let us hear you play
Makin' life feel just right
Oh please won't you stay

The show goes down the road
May be back one day
Pay the bills I owed
Put some cash away

And when they come back 'round
Well you never can say
If my money's sound
Could be on my way

Singer in the spotlight
With his band at play
Makin' life feel just right
Never go away

Details | I do not know? | |

The Busy Bees Life

The busy bee carried the nector
From one flower to another
Moved her exhausted wings, struggled like Hector
She fall, but she shall die but not serve the Queen mother

But today was so bizarre
She was the only one working hard
She saw a bee sitting on a flower smoking a cigar
And a servant bee, in a Jaguar car

"What is going on?" she said
Many questions were in her head
When she returned home, all bees were in bed
"Oh, no one is working" she said

Bees were not eating honey but bread
"I am going to tell the Queen" she said
She went to the Queen's room, with a heavy head
"Oh" the Queen was with a servant bee in bed

"What do you want , you idiot bee?"
"Busy bees I can no longer see"
"Are you dump? Today is free"
"A vocation, can't you see?"

The bee woke up with a heavy head
"Oh, what a nightmare" she sadly said

Details | Lyric | |

Chief Goat! (For Emman)

Hey Hey! 
Who's the greatest goat of all?
Hey Hey!
Who stands over six feet tall?
Oh Oh!
Who's the biggest, buffest dude?
Oh Oh!
Who has grass as favorite food?

Hey, hail Chief Goat!
Chief Goat he's the one!
All hail Chief Goat!
'Cause he's a lot of fun!

Hey Hey!
Who's the goat that plays football?
Hey Hey!
Who goes running for that ball?
Oh Oh!
Who can't help but win this game?
Oh Oh?
It's Emman the one and same!

Hey, hail Chief Goat!
Chief Goat's super fast
All hail Chief Goat!
'Cause he sure ain't the last!


We love you Emman!

Details | Rhyme | |

Gerkey's Jerky

There's a teacher named Gerkey. He sells lots of jerky. If you won't pay, he'll send you away, and you won't get jerky form Gerkey.

Details | Lyric | |

A Florida Christmas Jingle

Written to the tune of "Jingle Bells"

Here in Florida,
We don't get any snow,
We don't have sleighs to ride,
But we do have mistletoe!

For a little Christmas jaunt,
We'll drive 'round after dark,
To view the Christmas-lighted homes,
And displays at the park.

Ho! Ho! Ho! 
He! He! He!
Christmas time is here.
Let's deck the halls and shop the malls,
To spread some Christmas cheer!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
He! He! He!
Christmas time is here.
Let's deck the halls and shop the malls,
To spread some Christmas cheer!

Driving through the rain,
In a souped up Cheverolet,
Traffic's moving slow,
But hey, that's A-okay.

Christmas carols blare,
From the Chevy's radio,
We're having fun singing along,
Making words up as we go!

Ho! Ho! Ho!
He! He! He!
Christmas time is here.
Let's deck the halls and shop the malls,
To spread some Christmas cheer!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
He! He! He!
Christmas time is here.
Let's deck the halls and shop the malls,
To spread some Christmas cheer!

12/4/2011 for Debbie Guzzi's Deja vu Christmas contest.

Trying to think of a Christmas song or story that I could modernize, Jingle Bells popped in my head.  I live in Florida and it doesn't (usually) snow here, so tried to come up with a snowless version of the song.

Details | Lyric | |

Land,Land of the Jews

A duet in the style and melody of Home On The Range
(Palestine) Oh, give me a land where no Hebrews stand where Palestine could live and shine where seldom is seen a Rabbi or ‘stein and Jerusalem could be all mine (chorus) Land, land without Jews where Palestine could live and shine where seldom is seen a Rabbi or ‘stein and Jerusalem could be all mine (Israel) You don’t understand, God gave us this land where Palestine would hate and whine where seldom it seems, peace is a dream and Jerusalem should be all mine (chorus) Land, land of the Jews where Palestine still hates and whines where seldom it seems, peace is the dream and Jerusalem shall be all mine
a parody to the tune of 'Home, Home on the range" written by Warner Baxter One Knight Stand Productions all rights reserved

Details | I do not know? | |

I Think You Are The Cheap And Not Me ......

Showing me the expensive bangle on her wrist
She asked, "Will you buy me something like this ? "
If you do, you can take me out again
What do you say ' Yes ' or ' No ' ?

Looking at the bangle I knew it cost a lot
To take her out for a hot date
One day a bangle, another day a necklace
Her needs will never end until my pocket is empty

I managed to get a fake smile on my face
I saw another fake smile on her crooked face
I knew money is the only reason for this date
Her eyes are not on my face but on the bulged wallet 

It won't last long and it's unhealthy
I told to myself without thinking twice
Somehow I happend to control myself
I just said, " You get nothing when you come with me ".

Her response was so quick,"You are so cheap "
I had a hysteric laugh inside me 
I said loud to her , "I think you are the cheap and not me" '
"You know why? You come for something and not for Love " 

I am not looking for that kind of date
It is easy to get and I don't need it 
She tried to change the topic, "I was just kidding you" 
I knew it is a lie and I put a full stop on that relationship.

Details | Free verse | |

the Sunny Day Blues Man

living for the moment
ended life as we knew it 
but i'm just doing whatever
kind of hoping 
for some entertainment 
along the way

a day in the life 
of the sunny day blues man
hands down 
this is the best i ever was
the best i'll ever be
don't you agree

the sunny day blues man
isn't it funny the way news slants
the return of the sunny day blues man
just be happy with what you choose man
Never a better option than a given hand
thank god for the sunny day blues man

hope isn't a measure 
it's just tested time
a clamp of suspense 
when the moments array
an echo of needs 
to balance out 
the ways things seem
is the best you and I 
will ever be
don't you agree

the sunny day blues man
isn't it funny the way news slants
the return of the sunny day blues man
just be happy with what you choose man
Never a better option than a given hand
thank god for the sunny day blues man

at times life seems to cycles 
signals of distress
vanity and cupcakes 
i know, it's a brute mess
but along with the irony 
comes pancakes 
yes, the madness seems to iron me
yet i am still here

the eyes a thinker
life of a fighter
hands of a lighter weight 
when smiles reflected a pinch of hurting
because in punishment
the sunlight just couldn't outreach the curtains
though we take the steps alike
we trespass the worries to vaguely
but it was times like these that made me 
and it's the best i'll ever be

"the things we accept in steps of courage"

Details | Lyric | |

A Running Chestnut- Acoustic Phonology

Toyous melody of childhood memories 	                                                          Board in tune becomes a high wire trapeze   						        Two cans and a string acoustic phonology 						               Each part paper comb sings the bucket drum 				                        With whizzing blade of grass in hands with breath hum  			              The paper roll trumpet blows ensemble strums         					    Running along the day grows as children play  				                   Rolling hillside a box becomes a sleigh  							     Tutor love pea shooter from across the way  				                      After a rain paper boat follows the drain    							           Bows arrows cornstalk fiddle finish reframe               					       Hoop and guider dolls cat and mouse homemade plain

Details | Lyric | |

Fish or Cut Bait

You need to follow up on your actions man
I mean when it comes down to you
I really cannot understand
On why you keep on delaying 

Your plans to marry your girlfriend
For three weeks now you’ve taken her out to dinner
And not proposing to her; it’s got to end
I always see you at work

Taking out that engagement ring and staring at it
That was your grandma’s old ring
I think you would honor her memory
If you just go and do this one thing:

Go and ask your girl to marry you
Before it’s way too late
So all I have to say to you is:
You need to fish or cut bait

Details | Lyric | |

Imagine All The BS

I realize this might offend people but some of it is my views and some of it is just having fun. But overall it is just in fun.

Imagine there's no Obama
You cant if you tried
And he didn't give our gas line
To the chinese.. sigh
Imagine all the people voting blindly

Imagine there's no countries
We're not too far off
None of our freedom's remain
Under sharia law
Well then its praise allah or rest in peace

You, you may say 
I'm a dreamer, but Obama's got it done
USA's going in the toilet
And Tim Tebow is the plunge

Imagine no socialists
That won't defend the Jews
While he kisses a communist then 
Says Sorry for our values
Imagine all the people sharing the same wage

You, you may say 
I'm a schemer, but I'm not the only one
I hope some day you will wake up
Before this world is made one

Details | Lyric | |

A Pirate Tale

On the ocean waves in a stormy sea
goblinskin sails fly o'er me.
To a far off lands wid bloody hands;
upon Savage’s shore did 'e land.

“Sing Hey, Ho, ’m wild and free;
at least its nae a part of me!”

Threw a mad mans skull, 'e spot me prey;
and call me black 'earts into the fray.
Knee deep in mud and covered wid gore
I gouge out der gold teeth ta add to me store.

Sing Hey, Ho, ’m wild and free;
At least its nae a part of me!

We loads de treasure, raise anchors of bone;
hoist high de midsail and fly fast home. 
Wid a new gold tooth and diamonds rare;
an' Booberie feathers dance’n me hair. 

Sing Hey, Ho, ’m wild and free;
at least its nae a part of me!

From de Slaugh bones jaw 'pon m' knee;
I carve a comb wid a tee hee hee.
Wid a skillful 'and an a bone white knife;
I finish a fob ta bring ta me wife.

Sing Hey, Ho, ’m wild and free;
at least its nae a part of me!

To Cursing's foul harbor threw sewage galore;
bundles of pelts stacked ta da fore,
down da plank, 'e walk wid swaggering stride;
viper oil coats the sword at me side.

Sing Hey, Ho, ’m wild and free;
at least its nae a part of me!

Threw thieves’ foul dens 'e carry me horde
unload at de tanner, strut ‘board.
“Cook ‘ere!” I holler “Bring me dat stew!”
Snowbeast meat pie and hearty brew.

Sing Hey, Ho, ’m wild and free;
at least its nae a part of me!

Ghoulskin sails unfurled, storm crestin' high
'e sail out ta plunder and land 'e spy.
“Ahoy! Me buckos! What’s ’pon dat shore?”
monsters dressed in bones, naught more.

“Sing Hey, Ho, I be wild and free…..
 “By gum,” der dressed in de likes a me.”

Details | Lyric | |


My rhymes are timeless while this time is lifeless
why is life this kind less, reminds me that this
mind is spineless ready to tip and quit, as
my lies become mindless and get swollen shut
and Stuck up inside my sinus
Drivin in my prime but with no optimus
Victim to the flip-side of the Midas
Running through my blood like a virus
The sun makes my skin mundane
rubbin on ben gay but get arthritis
touch spermicide and converts to hepatitis
I hit the plus sign but it just musters up a minus
I'm seen sucking my thumb like the peanut's Linus
I run and duck when I hear the sirens cause
I abducted the president's Nike air pumps
now air force one is trying to find us
I'm at my desk obsessin about success but
This whole time its been right behind us

Details | Lyric | |

My Shrink

Mind games with my shrink.
Only giving me seconds to think.
His or my sanity on the brink.
Telling him what he wants to hear.
So these psychotic thoughts don't interfere.
I love a profession where all you do is ask questions.
I see your obsession.
Diagnosing patients.
With the power of suggestion.
Mocking once again.
Your profession.
So continue with your notes and antidotes.
On how to fix a fairy tale gone wrong.
So incarcerate me to the nearest psych ward.
At least with the nuts I won't be bored.
Your heart is in the right place but your dealing with a head case.

Details | Lyric | |

The Black Mistress

Black Mistress
That's what I'm suppose to be
Oh, no not me
I'm not coming second to another woman
No woman is coming before me
Black Mistress
That's what I'm suppose to be
Come get your clothes if you can't spend the holidays with me
You live with her not me
Black Mistress
You want to buy my love when you want please
Oh, no not me
I have my own and I'm not selling my goods to no one but I'm still not cheap

Details | Lyric | |

Jimmy and I - still working on CHORUS - Blues

I once robbed a bank so I could get high,
Yeah I stole all their money, I wanted to fly.
Now I'm sitting in jail, wondering why...

But I made a new best friend, Jimmy's just like me
and we're gonna bust outta this prison so we can be free -
and the first thing we're gonna try, yeah we gonna get high.

CHORUS (in progress)

Well we broke out and we partied, now the stuff's all gone,
but we got a great new plan we're working on while singing this song...
Yeah we're gonna rob a bank and get high
Jimmy and I.

Sitting In jail, back again,
How could we fail, Jimmy my friend?
Well, we left in such a hurry we forgot to take the money
had to go back again

CHORUS (in progress)

Now the moral of the story is that you shouldn't get high
'cause if you don't get started you won't be tempted to try
something so stupid that'll land you in the slammer like Jimmy and I.

No, you don't wanna be in the slammer like Jimmy and I.

Details | Lyric | |


It's funny how you
want to be with me,
you just dont know
im a lil freak
if you cross the line
Imma make you see
what kind of freak
(I can be)

you wanna be
my one and only man
follow the rules
you gotta understand
get down (ahh)
get dirty
I need a freak
just like me

It's funny how you
want to be with me,
you just dont know
im a lil freak
if you cross the line
Imma make you see
what kind of freak
(I can be)

I got fellaz droppin drowse
like rain from the clouds
I relax, sit back, and chill
while im sippin on crystal

I know I look very classy
but I can get real nasty
just cross the line with me
I can teach you freak termonolgy

Details | Light Poetry | |

I Dog You

Don’t go anywhere, my dear 
Don’t leave me here
Stay in my heart or stay in my liver
I’m with you leave me never
Watching you watching you
Catching you catching you
I love you I hold you
I kiss you I scold you
Talk to me and walk with me
Touch me and dance with me
Oh I did not give you the meals and rest 
That's why you have proved to be the best
If I love this way to a man 
He will feel tortured and frustrated 
You are my darling you are my dog 
I feel proud of you oh my lovely blacky
I chose you to love you
you are so different but yet again
You love me hug me and bear a lot
Yet people say why love the dog? 

Details | Ballad | |

A song about my cat

My cat went a roaming to find a new home.
Sing kitty,sing katty,sing Oh!
This cat was so clever he had his own comb.
Look up,now look down,stone the crows!

He went into the neighbours' and drank all their milk.
Sing,fridge raiding kitties.No,No!
Then he laid himself down on a piece of fine silk.
Sing,what the dickens,my lovely pillow!

He went to the butcher and ate all the steak.
Sing greedy,he's ruined my flow.
Then he went to the hairdresser for a shampoo.
Where else can a puttitat go?

He had no plastic,no money,no cheque!
Sing,cheater,sing creature,sing woe.
She sent for a Copper who paid the cat's bill.
And so  my puss came out all aglow.

Now my cat was glossy and plump and refreshed.
Sing:fancy,it all goes to show.
So he came home and said this place is best.
And he picked up his cello and bow.

He scraped some Sibelius and also some Grieg.
Sing: Northern lights can always glow.
But,he looked so self satisfied,I felt annoyed....
One should not let one's narcissism show.

But he was so handsome,I was glad he came home.
Sing,grateful,sing katefull,sing Ho!
And I hope he will never again want to roam.
Sing glory.sing story;Sing So!

Details | Lyric | |

Barry Bright. ( Sung to Another Great Song. Charlie Brown.)

C, C, D, D and a F for you!
Everyone is failing. There's still one A, it's true!
Barry Bright. Barry Bright.
A shining light! He's Barry Bright!
Sitting in the front seat, 295 I.Q.
" I know the answer before the teachers ever do!"

He slips into the first desk,
slide rule in his hand.
Before the teacher asks us,
he's sticking up his hand!

Barry Bright, Barry Bright! 
He's up all night! That Barry Bright!
Sitting in the front seat, 295 I.Q.
" I know the question before the teachers even do!"  

He's writing out equations in the stall.
Quoting all the Shakespeare in the hall.
Answering in Latin when he's called.
Yes, me. YEAH, YOU! That's true.

He's got straight A's and now Harvard in his sights
We all go out while he studies every night.
Barry Bright. Barry Bright. 
A shining light! That Barry Bright.
Sitting in the front seat, 295 I.Q.
" I read the chapters before the teachers ever do!"

Mournful wailing sax solo while an abduction plot is hatched.

Now graduation, and he's got 5 degrees.
" Why is there no one who is as smart as me?!"
Barry Bright.  He's out of sight.
Barry Bright. He's out of sight.
Wrapped in a package, mailed it to cheers.
" Why did they have mail me out to a sultan in Tangiers?"

Suddenly joy filled sax solo as the sock hop starts hopping...

Details | Lyric | |

I Am Single

Hello I am Single
So my introduction will only take a minute
Well lets open some champagne while we are at it
Feel free to smile I am Single.

I am one with myself
I am opening all shelves
All protecting shells have been broken
No harsh word hasn't been spoken.

Like birds during summer feel free
Commitment is out of my vocab
I won't charge you I"m free
While you at it... here is a herb.

I am Single
I am one with myself
Oh and my herb.
Oh no! I need help.

Details | Lyric | |

My Blue Bearry Song

                                                                I had a dolly
                                                         His name was Bearry
                                                              He was so lazy 
                                                             He ate so many
                                                        His cheek was chubby
                                                             I called him fatty
                                                        I loved my cute Bearry

                                                           Still with the Bearry
                                                              He cool already
                                                           In blue he's steady
                                                             He was so fancy
                                                            He wore on classy
                                                            He likes to boogie
                                                           He is my cool Bearry

Author's Note:
This is a song of "There Was a Pig"
Inspired by my student who always brings her blue teddy bear wherever she goes, and always tells stories as if it was alive. At that time she hummed the piggy song and I've got inspired to change the lyric become "My Blue Bearry Song" it's because the teddy bear named Bearry and its blue in colour.

Details | Romanticism | |

More Then Just Lines

I think I've seen you in my dreams, you're matching every description.
Your love is like a drug, I'd kill to fill the prescription.
You give me so much excitement, like when babies are born.
You're the only flower I see that's in this garden of thorns.
You must be Jamaican, because you're Jamaican me crazy.
Let's get a place together and maybe raise up a baby.
A lot of people call me Trav, but you can call me tonight.
You have the most beautiful eyes in the world, just like the stars they shine bright.
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
You could make a shy guy try and make a blind man see.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
You've got me floating like a feather, and I want to feel this way forever.
You may think these are just lines, or maybe all the above,
but please read this with your heart, because you're the woman I love.

Details | Rhyme | |

The Kitty and the Bunny: An Easter Song

"The Kitty and the Bunny" is a children's song, sung to the tune of "Pop! Goes the 

'Round and 'round the dogwood tree
Kitty chased the Easter Bunny,
'Til Bunny tossed an egg
That broke Kitty's leg;
And Kitty cried, "This game ain't fun-ny!".

Bonus activity: Give children some crayons and paper and have them turn this poem into a comic strip. Tell them you would use four boxes for your comic strip: one showing Kitty chasing the bunny, the next one showing the bunny tossing an egg, the next showing kitty holding his paw, and the last one showing tears streaming down Kitty's face. But, tell children they can use as few or as many boxes as they like for their comic strips and even change the storyline. The dogwood tree becomes an apple tree and bunny is seen pelting Kitty with apples. Perhaps squirrels join in the fight and start throwing acorns at Kitty.

Details | Cowboy | |

Ode To A Blueberry Roan

I was heading to the bunkhouse, after a wild night on the town
dancing & romancing & one too many round
Back in my wild & woolly days, one more rowdy Saturday night
full of cheap beer & whiskey & the necessary fight
I set Ol' Gus on auto pilot, he knew the way back to the spread
And I set to fighting with those rotgut demons dancing in my head
We were getting pretty close to home, so I eased up on the bit
when all of a sudden that dang horse he up & quit
His ears were all pricked forward, listening quite intense
I caught a drift of what might pass for music, somewhere beyond the fence
It took a lot of persuading, cussing & cajoling
but I got ol' Gus headed for all the caterwauling 
the sound got more peculiar as we crested the hill
the memory of what I saw that moonlit night stays with me still
for I had stumbled on a peculiar party, hosted by a peg leg dog
and there was a one eyed pole cat doing comedic monologue
A Blueberry Roan soon took the stage, singing Motley Crue
I swear I saw a big ol' ornery hog with a "born to squeal" tattoo
There were bulls & Heifers dancing, I couldn't believe my eyes
why those bovine wore spikes and body piercings, in places utterly unwise
There where horses with mohawk hairdos head banging to the song
I swear to you, Ol' Gus, he began to sway & sing along
Now I know what you're thinking & I most heartily agree
it was the moon & wind playing tricks, along with rotgut whiskey
You city folks can keep your pink elephants parading in tutus
for this cowboy was shown the light by a Roan in blue suede shoes
I gave up hell raising & carousing, said so long to the honky-tonk life
Happy now to stick to ranching & dancing under the moon with my wife
But every now & again, when the wind blows & the moon is shining bright
I swear I can hear the livestock laughing & head banging through the night

Details | Lyric | |

Opposite Sex Story

Lets go shopping and spend all our money on clothes!!!
Not a single worry in the world especially since I'm with you.
You're tall, smart, and handsome what else could a girl want?
You aren't spoiled like some other guys. You treat me like a special toy.

You say that I'm your favorite team and that I have all the qualities to get married with you.
It's all flattering but guess what boy? I can handle myself.... thank you anyway!
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
It's just that I was drunk.
You know. The way you get when you stare at me too long.

Details | Blank verse | |

Rythmn of the Beat

Listening to the rhythm of the beat 
I move my feet the speakers 
Blowing loud every time we meet
When i speak it seems like 
My flow is so sick i can't eat
Anorexia dementia from my lack of similac
Crack back to snap back i bounce back 
Then sit down fall back an relax

Details | Lyric | |

Am I Conceited

Am I conceited? 
Cause I know I got a nice body
After this poem 
Ima have you thinking probably 
And after this
Girls I know you gonna want me
But enough bout that
Lets talk about my body…
6 packs are jumpin out my stomach
Like their my side-kicks
That’s why I keep my shirt off
Don’t wanna hide this
Let me take you to my shoulders 
Gotta tell you more
They stand in the air
Like the back of a dinosaur
And my arms are so cut
You can tell by the looks
You won't see this kinda body
Unless you look in a body book
Lets go down
Let me take you to the floor
Feet are so big
I got to order out of the store
My legs are next
That’s one thing that’s okay
When I flex definition pops put
Like I might faint 
If you have any questions 
Or wanna see how I be
Hit me up and I’ll give you a demo
From my head to my feet…
Man that was fun

Details | Rhyme | |

Golden Girls Tribute

"Thank you for being a friend", that's how it goes.
Blanche will fly whichever way the wind blows.
"Traveled down the road and back again", is what they sing.
Rose waits for a light bulb, clueless to everything.
"Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidante", goes the next line.
Sophia shares her sarcastic wisdom, making rose trick a mime.
"And if you threw a party, invited everyone you knew", as the song plays.
Here comes Dorothy, intelligent and bossy, so set in her ways.
"you would see, the biggest gift would be from me" It's almost done.
The Golden girls bring so much fun.
"And the card attached would say" as the show portrays,
"Thank you for being a friend".
Sophia, Dorothy, Blanche and Rose,
for eachother, a helping hand to lend.
The show possesses what the song does imply.
The women"s friendship a binding tie.
 A tribute to them as the legend lives,
Their warmth and caring continues to give.

April Wilson-"The Golden Girls"

Details | Rhyme | |

Zippedy Do Dah

 <                                      Zippedy  Do  Dah  

                                         Zippedy     Day  

                                       Open    Hearts    Souls

                                       Sing    Loud     Today

                                           Zippedy   Do   Dah  

                                           Zippedy          Day  

                                    Thank    You    Sweet     Lord

                                     Bountys    Come   My    Way

                                           Zippedy  Do  Dah   

                                           Zippedy        Day   

                                          Smell   Frangrence

                                   From    Flowers    Picked   Today

                                           Zippedy  Do   Dah   

                                           Zippedy      Day   

                                        Hugs      And      Kisses

                                To     Children    Comes   My   Way

                                           Zippedy   Do   Dah   

                                           Zippedy          Day   

                                           Join    With    Me

                                          Sunshine's    Hooray   

                                           Zippedy  Do   Dah   

                                           Zippedy         Day   

                                          Keep    This   Tune 

                                          Going     All       Day

                                          Zippedy   Do    Dah   

                                          Zippedy           Day   

                                  Not    Sure    Rythem    Rhyme

                                 Will   March    Same    Way ...   Hey  !

                                          Zippedy   Do    Dah   

                                          Zippedy          Day   

                                                 Been    Fun  

                                            Must   Be   On    Way

                                             Zippedy   Do  Dah   

                                             Zippedy         Day   

                                  Thanks  Dane  Ann  Smith  Johnson

                                 For  Contest   To   Join   And   ...   Play

Details | Rhyme | |

My Family and Me

It's amazing how quick things can change.
First your running with the kings, and then you're knocked out of range.
It's strange. I used to worry and stress over friends.
Now I've grown to be a man. Maybe know a few of them.
All that time I could of studied. Did better in school.
Got a job and made it big. Maybe now I'd be cool.
Who's the fool? Now who's the bull? I know that's not me on the top.
Life is always making turns weather you like it or not.
The past will always be the past. My glory days may seem gone.
But, now its time to start a new.The stories keep coming on.
I've got a new girl. She means the world to me.
She keeps me warm at night, my best friend, my new dream.
Since my car accident, still got a limp on one side.
Still working with my memory, still need a friend who can drive.
I love to Karaoke. I get noticed in bars.
My mom's always there to catch me. Tom's working with my mom's cars.
My sister's in the Army, my niece is a big part of my life,
Friend Zach keeps assholes off me, and God is my wife.
AJ's always there to help, Brian is my LOST bud,
Mary's out of school, Lil cousin, Hunter's a stud.
Grandpa still is my idol, JT is still the music man .
The Adam's still can party. Chris, living good on the sand.
I may only use one hand, but I plan to be the best.
At all I do in life, cause there's not that much time left.
The blood test that I took says Landon is mine.
I hope this all works out fine in time and help to make my son's life shine.
JC who's down in Georiga, my heart is screaming for you.
I hope that you recover well. It can't be worse then what I went through.
Uncle Jimmy where you at? Where's Matt, Corie, and Pete?
I know you all are doing good. Serviolo's are a hard team to beat.
How's the rest of the family? I love and miss you all!
I hope you all are standing tall and I pray we never fall.
These last words that I say, I say only to you.
We've got the best family in the world and you know I LOVE YOU!

Details | I do not know? | |

More than weather, can be frightful or Unseasonal Christmas

Used to be the weather was frightful
People covered themselves from head to toe
Now, despite the fact it’s Christmas season
I see more sand, than I see snow
The temperatures keep on elevating
To the moon, they just seem to rise
Oh, where is the Christmas of yesterday
The rosy cheeks, windows fogged with ice

It’s just too warm now for Christmas
Too hot to shop, too hot to run around
Santa’s working at the pole in a speedo
That’s nothing, we wanna see come to town

Frosty, it seems we’re not gonna see him
Heat miser, now, has gotten his day
Can’t ole Jack Frost do something about this
And chase the warm weather away
No need to chop wood set for burning
The heated air replaces that in the hearth
I hope it gets cold and very soon, too
Because Christmas puts warmth in everyone’s heart

It’s just too warm now for Christmas
Too hot to shop, too hot to run around
Santa’s working at the pole in a speedo
That’s nothing, we wanna see come to town

Oh, when Christmas day finally gets here
Right now, I’ll tell ya, all I wanna see
Are people with scarves and gloves on their hands
And snow bringing life to all barren trees
I want the temps to chill me right to the bone
That’s when I’ll know it’s Christmas time
Who wants to look up and see a sleigh
With a fat man in a speedo, flying around

It’s just too warm now for Christmas
Too hot to shop, too hot to run around
Santa’s working at the pole in a speedo
That’s nothing, we wanna see come to town

Details | Lyric | |

The Pawn Folly

Sand-like cliffs reaching up as towers
 thier sole purpose, but to measure hours,
 feels a though I'm stuck in a cage
 resulting in more visitations with rage;
There's not enough drink to fade it away
 and too much left to quit it, today.
 A good woman could help me put it down
 but, there doesn't seem to be any of them, around.
Gravity's pulling just as hard as she'd might
 and, the extra pull, has brought upon us, the night;
 and, just as noon can coerce the dew to fade
 night got real lucky, bartering for trade;
for day's sky and night's sky yearned for folly to be
 each dimension's signature for eternity;
 pawn folly was divided into both these domains
 giving birth to split issues, and more difficult planes.
But, on l keep trudging, as on l must go
 who'll win in the long-run, believe l'll never know,
 l've donned my best hat and, my only warm cloak
 but it's hard to realize that I'm the butt of the joke!

Details | Lyric | |

Dance to tha beat

dance to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha
dance to my heart beat

Boy verse:

Im dancin to tha beat (beat)
movin my feet
got my body in motion
to tha rhym of tha beat (beat)
she movin fast ay
im talkin nastay
we gone stay past eight
and go to my place

dance to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha
dance to my heart beat

Girl verse:

Im ready for wateva
you know wat i mean (mean)
lets get down to tha point
lets get down and dirty
I can make you fanticize
cus yo head between my thighs
when you look at my third eye
boy I make you mezmerize

dance to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha
dance to my heart beat

Girl verse: 

Im playin game of twister
im all ova tha room
im even on tha dresser
my body all on you
im playing game of twister
im all ova tha room
im even on tha dresser
my body all on you

we can dance on the bar
even make love on ya car
boy you make my heart roar
(roar, roar, roar)
you make my heart roar

dance to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha
dance to my heart beat

Details | Blank verse | |

and off to the farm

the Sony goes off to station WFUV
I lie there still on the right side of the bed
Bob Dylan sings I don’t have to work on Maggie’s farm no more
the clock says five ten in small green neon like letters

get up five thirty
shower shave and pee
eggs toast and coffee
and off to the farm

Details | Lyric | |

i apologize to you


It has been a while
Since the last time we talk
We pass by like winds
Never giving each other smile
I know you're mad
That's not new to me
Can't turn back the hands of time
And it really makes me sad
It's never my intention
Of hurting you like that
It just happened...
Now, I lost your attention
Here's just one thing for you to know
It's hard for me to say sorry
I can't find it in my vocabulary
It's my pride which I follow
And as time passes by
It makes me realize
Is this going to be forever?
Is this really goodbye?
Courage is all I need
For me to say those words
Words hard to let go
Words where friendship could lead

Details | Lyric | |

Southern Christmas Ya'll(USA)

Sleighbells ring are you kidding?
In the lane sun is shining
It's a beautiful sight, I'm coatless tonight.
Walking in the southern Christmas air.

In the meadow we will build a manger.
In the south they aren't a stranger.
We're happy tonight when we see the sights.
Walking in the southern Christmas air.

On the highways you'll see a hay sculpture
We pay to take a decorative light tour
We're happy tonight when we see the lights.
Walking in the southern Christmas air.

Walking in the southern Christmas (warm) air.

Sung to the tune of Walking in a Winter Wonderland.
Everyone is invited to add a verse or improve mine.
Sara Kendrick helped me write this one. Thanks, Mom!!

Details | I do not know? | |

Vive le CANADA Libre

translation below

Vive le CANADA Libre
Toujours merveilleux
Toujours grand
Toujours libre
Terre de libertés
PKP, PKP, jamais ne volé mon pays
PKP, PKP, jamais ne volé mon pays

plus d'informations

PKP est le surnom d'un fameux séparatiste qui veut se présenter à la direction du parti québécois. Même s'ils se proclament séparatistes, ce sont en réalité tous des traitres.
un mot plus juste..

À ne pas confondre avec le grand joueur de hockey, PK Suban!

Long Live Canada
Always beautiful
Always grand
Always free
Land of liberty
PKP, PKP,  never steal my Country
PKP, PKP,  never steal my Country

PKP is the nickname for Pierre Karl Peladeau, a Quebec seperatist

Details | Lyric | |


I am a sanguine,
She calls me penguin.
I am not a flirt
I am not a bird
But I eat sardine.

I am a sanguine,
So I don't need aspirin
Because I smile
And worry for a while
I can't have mi-grin.

I am a sanguine,
I can't play the violin.
That is not the end of me,
If you can do the drumming,
I will dance to the tambourine.

I am a sanguine,
I talk like a machine.
If you do not listen well, 
You will think I speak Mandarin

I am a sanguine,
I have read about Oleifins
Somethings about paraffin.
As playful as I am,
I do not read with caffeine.

I am a sanguine,
I drill like machine
I don't need enhancement
Because I will take you to the firmament,
If you want to prove me wrong
You need to feel my serpentine.

Poem written by Ogunfowokan Kolawole
Originally mine.

Details | Lyric | |

How Much Is The Cat In The Window?

                    How much is the cat in the window?
                   The one that’s standing up
                 How much is the cat in the window?
               I do hope that kitty is for sale

                 I don’t want a turtle or a snake
               I don’t want a bowl of fish or a guinea pig 
               I don’t want a cute rabbit or a bird
              You can’t give them things a hug

                 How much is the cat in the window?
               The one that’s standing up
                I have a slight problem at home
                And if I have a cat then maybe
                 the rat will  leave

Details | Ballad | |













Details | Dramatic Verse | |


A lonesome dove

feathered white.

The branch strong,

time light. "wait".

A dream.

really blowing a sweet breeze. "wait".

A heart beat sitting in a tree,

spirit like, "wait".

A rhyme.

...of atomosphere.

Details | Lyric | |

Why Me Lord, Why Me?

I was taking pleasure in a rear view, 
watching a rump move to my heart beat – 
bum-giddy-bum, bum-giddy-bum.

Each time a man goes by my heart pounds faster
to the new rhythm of those mass muscles. 
Men collide while stealing sneak-peeks.
 A wife slaps a husband in the middle of Main Street, 
and my ears capture the sound of every man’s heart beat – 
bum-giddy-bum, bum-giddy-bum.

Main Street was a mess, 
so I put pace in my steps 
to preserve the vision I had before all the chaos.
Her bouncy brown hair falls softly 
in waves on her back, 
as those lovely mass muscles contract –
 bum-giddy-bum, bum-giddy-bum.

My heart was not please with letting her fly, 
my eyes wanted to see her eye to eye,
and my jewels would sulk if my lips didn’t try.
So, my lips say, “Hi.” 
She turns with a twist, and I lost my rear view.
My heart stops drumming when I saw her tattoo.

Is she the one? 
I believe she’s the one who robbed my friend. 
Did she use those mass muscles to lure him in?
My feet were frozen, I could not run. 
So …. 
I smiled and asked her, “Where are you from?”
I pretend as if I didn’t see the gun –
but from my chest comes the sound of an Ashanti drum – 
bum-giddy-bum, bum-giddy-bum.

Details | I do not know? | |

On the Raod to Carolina

“On the Road to Carolina”   

By Miriam McCue - creator of poetry.

dedicated to Bubba, my grandson who is not allowed to do what is in this poem. And Bob 
who maybe did.

Warning: do not practice the activities below, unless you are a professional in the field.

This is meant to be sung accompanied by acoustic guitar music.

Verse 1 
We’re on the road to Carolina,
Me & Bubba, my best friend.

We’re going to stop in Savanna.
To pick up ole toothless Glenn.

Verse 2
We’re ridin’ in my ole pickup,
The three of us have no fear.

‘Cause toothless Glenn of Savanah,
Brought along six cases of beer.

Verse 3
When it gets on towards evenin’,
We park the old pick up.

We’re all sittin’ on the tailgate,
Drinkin’ all the cases up.

(whoops and whoopies )

Verse 4
When we get to Carolina,
Our heads feel all blown about.

Glen is barfin’ out the winder,
And Bubba has completely passed out.


NOTE:   TO be more politically correct: I am the designated driver.

Details | Rhyme | |

Oh Mr. Bernanke!

Oh Mr. Bernanke
Are we going to have that Rate-cut today?
Aha, you are the candy-man
Could wave your wand
Make the dying Market stand.

Ah, but it ain’t working anymore
The Market is a falling man
Oh Mr. Bernanke
You wave your wand
But it’s fallen over the stands!

Oh Mr. Bernanke
Swayed the Market just your own way!
But banks aren’t making money
The cuts to them are one too many
Candy-man, the Market won’t stand!

Got my only heifer and sacrificed
At the altar of Dow and Nasdaq, paid a high price
The Dow, oh it fell through the Year’s low
Now here I come, Candy-man
Look through your store
We need something more!

Details | Lyric | |

We three shepherds of gifts in modern time

We three kids, Just stayin up late
Were warm and full from all the junk food we ate
In Snuggies we lay, fighting off our sleep
Thinkin of the mornin our gifts in a heap
Nodding off, Nodding off, Nodding off, Nodding off
hopin winter wont make us sneeze and cough

This song is sung to the tune of, "The First Noel"
this is for Deborah Guzzi's Holiday songs in Poem Form Contest

Details | Lyric | |

Hurricane Ida

Dedicated to a wonderful friend of mine - a song written on my Sophmore year of highschool. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Chorus] Hurricane Ida, she come rollin’ along Hurricane Ida, she be singin’ this song She lives in our hearts and souls It’s where she resides Bother her, she’ll break your nose and lift up the tides Oh yeah! [Verse I] She’ll turn those fish to sushi, she’ll make tyrants bow down She’ll flood those monsters clueless and she’ll take the gold crown She’ll bring bread to the needy and she‘ll brighten the forlorn She’ll heal and stitch up every piece that’s tattered and torn Oh yeah! —she’ll even feed you corn OW! [Chorus] Here she comes again! WATCH OUT! [Verse II] She can make you shiver, she can penetrate your soul She makes sparkly Edward Cullen look like a troll She’s glamorous and fabulous, not tah mention lots of class She makes Michael Jackson slip and fall on his ass Oh yes! —she’s more expensive than gas OW! [Chorus] (GUITAR SOLO!!!!) She lifts up up up UP UP HER TIDES! Hurricane Ida, you’re so wild and free With your awesomtasticalness You will make history-Aiiiieeeeeeeee!!!

Details | Free verse | |

Weeding The Moonscape Of My Back Garden

Weeding the
moonscape of my back
Truly, it's a big
Weeding the
moonscape of my back
My nerves shredding:
The concrete weeds,
I steal
myself for this task
I've delayed, I
admit, for cosmic

Bravely, finally, I
resolved and booked
one week's annual
leave -
To prepare, to
From this task that
may take up to two

I'm impelled to
Must I find the
to take on the
abysmal brat of
Fetch me a flask of
sports energy drink,
Complex sugar, I
think, my devotional

You see,
I write poetry, so
must I also do
Must I really stand
alone on that flat
dune of grey,
Pockmarked with such
monstrous green
The weeds, they are
almost thirty
centimetres, and
grimly rising!
I stare at them from
the window, I'm not
really crying.
Wouldn't you rather
I just wrote this
How many fresh dead
poets does the world
I'd like to be a
living tragic poet,
not one that weeds!
(That's too tragic,
even for me).

And, look over
there! See!
I might get bitten
by that bumblebee!
And I sneeze like a
banshee when near
Sometimes three
sneezed sneezes I
issue near weeds.
Yes, banshees do

Weeds are angry
wannabe baby trees,
I'm feeling quite
I'll already,
So ill, I've just
spelt it I'll.
Now that's I'll,
Sorry, ill.
Where's my quill?
I need to scroll the
Order some pills -
Those ones,
Exported from the
moon, made in
Those especial
potions you don't
require an ignoring
doctor to see,
I must have illegal
I'm a poet, it's my
job, silly!
And -
I. Don't. Do.
Wrestling. Weeds.

Yet, here I stand on
the precipice,
There they sway
taunting me,
The emerald streaked
posse of thorny
triffid pisse.

Well, here goes -
One small step for
man, maybe,
But one giant leap
for a poet such as

for more of my
humorous poetry just
google Suki Spangles

Details | Lyric | |


Rainter! O my Rainter! What are you, Rainter?
Are you a new season tinted by holy painter?
Rain is falling hard even in this freezing winter,
Everywhere disgust roams like a lonely hunter.

The winter rain congeals brains, soaks hearts,
With its two ice-cold hands and crying eyes.
Nature is camouflaging itself in several parts
To display how changing carpet of Time flies.

Rainter, a fragment of Nature’s jumbled play,
Is nothing but a cyclic blend of its crude tools.
Some would sense it exciting, others may say
“Rainter, thou art disgusting except to the fools”

Details | Lyric | |

Chasing Uncle Sam

Gimme a rhythm
Keep me in step
Grant me no freedom
I’ll do what you expect

Military rule
Keeps me in line
You play Uncle Sam
The role of Joe is mine

Basic training’s done
Move me along
Think I’m like the rest
And that’s where you are wrong

No one thinks like me
In this whole wheel
Of life which keeps turning
They know not how I feel

The rest are crazy
Wild at best
They’d kill for a chance
To slaughter all the rest

You understand me
And know how I feel
Pick me from the rest
‘cause these feelings are real

First date in Kabul
Then Iraq next
Lunch in Korea?
God save me from this mess!

Details | Lyric | |

Ode to Snow: Snow Week

Verse 1:
I’ve been in my house for way too long
So now I resort to write this song
For all of the people who would agree
To very simple heartfelt plea

Snow please go away.
We hope that you’ll return another day
You’ve outdone your welcome you see
So I hope you will listen to me
                                         Oh please,
Verse 2:
The first day I was amazed to see
That God had given snow to me
The second day I was real surprised
To see that the roads were still real iced
Third day had come my heart was blue
The fear in my mind had just come true
School had been cancelled for the day
So to our God this prayer I laid

“Make the snow go away
We pray you’ll make return another day
Please Lord don’t you see
School is where I really need to be”
                                          Sincerely Me,
Verse 3:
Fourth day a feeling came to me\
Frustration, boredom, and sadness three
Fifth day I ventured to the yard
Seeing the ice was very hard
I couldn’t take that day anymore
So I started season 3 of 24
Maybe this snow would never leave
Until I lose excessive sleep

I can’t stand you snow
Someplace else is where you need to go
My toes are numb I can’t find my brain
I don’t suspect I’ll ever feel them again 

Verse 4:
The sixth day came I was so glad
To get out the house with my dear dad
At the Starbucks I left my purse
Proving I’d lost my mind of course
Tomorrow is Friday a snow day too
I’m hoping the sun will come melt you
Activity low, I am so bored
But now I’ve run of guitar chords

In this house I’ve been for way too long
It’s given me time to write this song
Snow listen to this request I plea
My friends and family would agree
                                              With me…..

Details | Lyric | |

Cat Outlaw

Rascal: cat with claws Not make laws Put in cage Contain rage Hear how he bawls!

Details | Lyric | |

Child's Play

I watch you play upon the stairs,
 Lost in your childhood games,
 Built by your imagination,
 With freedom and no restraint.
 Today you are a sailor,
 The captain of your ship,
 Sailing on the ocean sea,
 Procuring a long summer trip.
 You sing a song
 That you have loved,
 Words of an old lullaby,
 You sing a song on the stairs today,
 Singing loud—you’re not shy.
 The stairs are now a jungle,
 A land that you explore,
 With a monkey and a zebra,
 A tiger and a vicious wild boar.
 You pretend you’re on a skyscraper
 High up in the sky,
 Playing like you’re really there,
 And wishing you could fly.
 Once again, you’re hungry,
 Therefore, you stop and eat your lunch,
 You’ll be a chef in your own shop,
 There’s not much time to stop.
 The stairs are now a cherry tree
 In your own loved backyard,
 With grass and flowers, and bumble bees,
 Except in this tree, you cannot scrape your knees.
 The stairs yet again, a mountain top
 Reaching high into the sky,
 But all too soon, it’s evening time
 And now, no more time to climb.

Details | Lyric | |

"I can't write poetry"

"I can't write poetry-
  why do I try?
I could just as well
  grow wings and fly!"

We all say that
  when we're feeling blue,
It's just one down day-
  or have you the flu?

If you stay awake
  to the day's stark facts,
Poetry won't come
  'cause imagination lacks.

So forget tomorrow is Monday
  (homework can wait)
Capture that magic moment-
  before it is too late!

Details | Rhyme | |


Tag! Your it! Like in the school days.
I got your mind lost, like you were in a corn maze.
This isn't Halloween, just another day of the week.
I'm always getting candy. I say forget trick or treat.
You can forget Flasnick. People just call me Flash.
My rap game's so scary, I say hell with the mask.
Forget Jason, They call me Lil T.
Wake up it's not Freddy, it's me you see in your dreams.
I'm rated X. Noway I'm PG13.
Sisco and Ebert said not to see the damn thing.
So if you do, you better call me the king.
I'll give you six days to live. I'm more hard core then the Ring!

Details | Lyric | |

if only

let me set your mind right
let me take you out tonight
girl let me show you a good time

"if only"

if only you let me
show you how I can be
I could be that guy you need
I could be the one to set you free...

"if only"
if only

Details | Ballad | |

Woods, great place to hide from bullies

Beneath the soil lay our roots
Multi-legged insects walking on moss
Working hard to get the fruits
Like lost souls running to the cross
Or hungry new army recruits
With no care of profit or loss

We are the bugs
Commission on narcotic drugs
Watch as we steal the rain
Plants are ruining our brain

We feast together in the swamp
The spiders just want to push us around
They see us and want to stomp
We hide under the ground
I’m here, no fear of the chomp
It’s our other way around

We are the bugs
Commission on narcotic drugs
Watch as we steal the rain
Plants are ruining our brain

One day I hope it will change
The flower tell us one day
Not to far gone to rearrange
Apex of the sun’s way
Move to the balkan mountain range
Rather than be part of the buffet

We are the bugs
Commission on narcotic drugs
Watch as we steal the rain
Plants are ruining our brain

Details | Lyric | |


Helen’s in love with Augustus!
The poor girl has got it real bad!
In between ev’ry sneeze,
She goes weak at the knees …
He’s the biggest pash she’s ever had!

She’s beginning to dream of their future!
She’s never felt like this before.
She sees them together,
In bright sunny weather,
Cavorting in fields hand in paw (?)

Yes, Helen’s in love with Augustus,
But I fear she’ll be left on the shelf:
Because since I got wind
Of this sordid affaire …
I quite fancy that pussy myself!!

Details | Ballad | |

The Whiskey Ballet

Once in a while when we fall down
Rarely ever is there anybody else around
To take all of our sorrows and misery away
We seem to suffer to our dying day
A maelstrom of voices swirl through our heads
A bunch of mixed up words from what people said
Saying that this is what life is about
But this ain't what I want and that I don't doubt
I'm drowning the bad thoughts deep in my brain
I'm gonna slam a 60-pound and flush my mind away
I'll wake up in a ditch or in my bloody grave
The ballad of the whiskey ballet
It's cheaper for a bottle than a stinkin' bar
Where all the blasted bastards and the ditchpigs are
I like to drink alone with no one else around
I drink all I want on my own slammin' ground
I don't need someone telling me that I'm being too damned loud
I don't need anyone treating me like a drunk and foolish clown
I'll just turn around and belch into whomevers face and
waltz away on my own cloud by my own staggering pace
I'll be belching and mumbling,kicking and stumbling
puking and yelling,going to Hell andfighting and bleeding
The world will take heed and crashing and crawling
to the ballad of the whiskey ballet!!

Details | Lyric | |

In My Head

Julie was going south on me
It was too tempting
For her can’t ya see?

It happened slowly
When I was lonely
Relaxin in my bed 			 

The curtains were drawn 
And the lights were dim
I pushed my marbles off to the side of the bed

A soft tune was playing
Mouth wide open she came to me		

Cause it was in my head			
I imagined the Queen of the bed		
I was desperately 				
Seeking the bees knees			
And when I came to				
My hands were filled with goo		
I wiped the tears from my eyes			
And washed away the imaginary lies	

Kristy was the sweetest thing
She got up, to fix me some grub	
But when I rolled back over again
I could hear the sound of my tub	

She drew me in with that imaginary wink
I braced myself against the sink	
She went south too, head first with no hands
I was truly the happiest man	

Samantha and the others never lied to me
Hell, they didn’t speak that well
In my head I’ve come to find out
That there’s no kiss and tell

Details | Lyric | |

Santa The Fat-Bellied Stranger

This is a poem I wrote for the Crazy Christmas Carol member contest.
It is in reference to Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer. Hope you have some laughs!

Santa The Fat-Bellied Stranger

You know Batman and Robin
and Shakespeare and Poe
Oprah and Elvis
And Monet and Van Gogh
But do you recall
The most famous person of all?

Santa the fat-bellied stranger
Had a tummy full of ho's
(like Pavarotti)
And if he ever tried to
(tried to)
Couldn't even see his toes
(like a horse)
Now that he's getting older
With impotence and bum knees
(like McCain)
They never let poor Santa
Savour all his common glees
(like Mrs. Claus)

Then one lonely Christmas Eve
Blue pill down the hatch
(please oh please)
Oh meds to my wife's delight
Won't you guide my libido tonight
Mrs. Claus from that day forward
Always shouted out with glee
(have mercy)
"Santa you fat-bellied stranger
You'll go down in history!"
(like Casanova)

Author-SJS '08

Details | Lyric | |

Between and About

Twixt And between
Never quite there
But never will I stop.
I work and ponder
Forever moving 
Searching around and about.

There are times I wonder, where I really am?
Will I ever achieve my goals?
And what are the goals I’m searching for?
Are they really what I want?
Do I know which way to go?
Or should I start all over and begin again?

We’re all here at times in our lives…
Till every thing will finally become clear.
Then, some how I’ll be there again:
Twixt and between
Never quite there…
Here I go again.

Fluff Contest: This poem is definately full of fluff.

Details | Limerick | |

Lady Godiva

there once was a Lady from France
who never would put on any pants

she would ride all around
the square of the town

and watch all the stupid men dance !!!

Details | Lyric | |


you open the window
you burning candlelights
you take my love away
we both making love all night
you think you have me screaming
oh boy i got you dreaming
cus this scene is fading, fading, fading

yo dream so suspense

Details | Lyric | |

the medicine man

mom, there are women
seeing dad in his office
to make me worry
that he might leave us someday
‘cause he comes home late
almost every other day
why you hardly check his joy?! 

Details | Lyric | |

gonna get caught

gonna get caught
gonna get caught
boy ya gonna get caught
gonna get caught

pulling me with ya smile
melting my heart with ya voice
we sat and talk for a while
I like the way you made
me your first choice

you bought me drinks
you even danced with me
yo girl might catch you flirtin with me
if it could be
we can make history
bring new swag to chemistry


gonna get caught
gonna get caught
boy ya gonna get caught
gonna get caught

you with yo girl
thinkin of me
when I walk by
you winking at me


you with yo girl
wishin we could be
cuz you keep textin
keep textin me


I want you
I need you
I want to make love to you


gonna get caught
gonna get caught
boy ya gonna get caught
gonna get caught

Details | Ballad | |

Drinkin Buddies

Pour a shot for me, pour a shot for you.
Swallow down, so quick is the liqueur.
You recoil in pleasure, it tastes good.
Set it up again, time to put up another two.

You think about forgetting the pain,
But your just making it all worse.
Slowly, slowly the picture gets dizzier,
Good judgement goes down the drain.

You love the crown, and he does his job,
Making you feel heavy then ultra light.
Words mind as well be backwards,
And all your thoughts, so many, he did rob.

You look at each other, sloppily thinking,
And you remember what you did forget.
Unsure if the other is feeling the same way.
Look away, wondering, both keep drinking.

F- it! You slow melt into the way it was.
Sooo goooood, but oh soooo baaaaadddd!
The restraint clock is over, time to give in,
You're already too far, no stop, no pause.

Tricky is the soundtrack, intense is the play.
Between are you two, crazy is this game.
Long, amazing, wishing it could last forever,
But you doubt it, you wake sober the next day. 

Was so much fun, and it was much shattering.
Again, you are so weak, you shake your head.
Your foolishness, your eyes drawn asunder.
But so much more then one night of smattering. 

You part, intense attraction you have to ignore,
But so comfortable and also so careless.
You try not look over you shoulder at the other.
Never again... Hell, till they put up two more.

Details | Lyric | |

Screen Door

Nails, tools, drill and bits on a warm spring day in May.  Watching closely to hear you 
say….”Pass me a Phillips” or some tool I know nothing about. As you fix my screen 
door without no doubt.

Smiling and sparkling with sweat on your face.
As you wonder if everything will fit into place.
“Looks good from here”, I say to myself. “Next he needs to fix my wobbling shelf.”

Needless to say it took more than a day to fix that stubborn door.
Maybe because we both just wanted more…. time to explore the endless 
possibilities of that open screen door.

And here we are now years later,
Screen door finally repaired and holding strong. But you still get to use your nails, 
tools, drill and bits All Year Long.
Our Kids now make sure you feel like you belong.

Love You Dear

Details | Sestina | |


Halloween is not just for kids...
what about those gorgeous pets
that we snuggle, love, kiss and willfully spoil?
Shouldn't they have their own
special Howlween and Meowween
with treats never tasted in a bright party hall?

I love pets as you all do, and with loving and tender care    
I spoil them with warm clothes and matching shoes;
a wool hat and tiny gloves to keep them from frost!
Look at them, aren't they adorable and look sharper 
than the less-loved pets that are bored with their blues?  
Can you compare a well-groomed one to a scruffy one? 

On this coming Halloween, dress up your pets for success,
disregard the dumb looks of certain unintelligent folks,
they never see humor in anyone or anything, and they can't laugh
at these cuties that have a ton of affection on their mellow faces;
what would they do to be patted or be cuddled in their embrace?
They would give them their howleen and neowween for a soft caress!

And on every street people walk their dogs and cats dressed like mine,
what a surprise to watch this parade of adorable pets that look up and smile!
They will never know who was the genius behind all this, but gently and happily they stroll!
So who's to say that Halloween isn't for them? They're like our children who delight our soul!
And on each Halloween night, let them out, and let them do their Howlween and Meowween,
to enjoy the Halloween celebration, but tomorrow they'll not remember where they had been!

Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci

Details | Lyric | |

A Noisy Conclusion

There is no such thing as silence
And no place left to be alone.
Our communication highway has become
An inescapable irritating noise
An incessant ringing in one’s ears
No longer just the ticking of a clock
Keeping you awake.

Transmitters hum atop dead trees
Whirling buzzes from electric fans
The grinding of a dirty engine block
And neighbours building their deck
Sawing and hammering away at
Life’s necessities that aren’t really 
Necessary at all.

Sounds that you cannot hear
Are still there all around you
Riding on the waves and surfing
The air in a non-stop chatter
Giving you news, music and weather.

Even where there should be no noise 
Lurking in the dark are low electronic signals
And the sound of your clock radio
Receiving enough energy to 
Remind you its five am
And you’re still awake.

Technology continues in a plethora 
of  beepers, cell phones and laptops
Giving us no escape at all
Where even in the woods 
You can turn it all off and 
Find yourself bumping into
Someone who is also hiding
From the world in a place
You thought there was no one.

Even the last great escape won’t be -
The space program will discover
Water on Mars and send half
Of us there to get away from the noise
Only To discover the incessant hum from
planet Earth keeps them up all night.

Which brings me to one final thought -
Are we alone in the universe?

If only.

Details | Lyric | |

No Longer Musing

The other day I called it in
to my office, from the hall;
it wasn't that my muse was, "off"
it wasn't doing anything, for any reason, at all !
At the onset I thought it was but, a tad tired;
and l thought l'd give it another day;
then l began realizing a listlessness
that was contagious, much to my dismay.
I spoke with the man at the pharmacy
who assured me that there was a cure;
and that, if it were not soon administered
there'd be consequences no poet could endure !
So frightened was l, after hearing of this
l sprang to action, right after my nap;
l visited a place where the critics loved me,
'twas my fans thought l was loaded with, crap !
l awoke and went straight to my office
to have said "talk", with my weak little muse;
l instead, began writing about "nothing",
instead of holding on too tight, to an excuse 

Details | Ballade | |

McDonalds poem

me and my girl kelssey just got done smoking weed
 are stomach start rumbling and we started too have cravings 
what was it what do we need 
we but our minds together and it was micky d's

so we walked in to get our burgers and fries,
but realized we aint gots no money to our surprise

i look in my back pocket and a 20 appear
 we was like holy crap then we walk up to the cashear 
she was like "how can i help you? you want that here or to go ? "
 umm i dont know but i like a number 6 plain with cheese
 but her not sure what do you want kelssey?

i want a classic combo. a sweet tea to drink. 
thats what id order im pretty sure or i think.
 burgers on our mind..thank god it was micky d's that we would find
. but watch the drinks. make sure the dont spill. 
but if you do its ok. cuz we get free refill.

they called our order and we grab our meal 
right when we seat down i cause a big deal
 i looked at my food and guess what i see 
they put lettuce ketchup and mayonnaise and the receipt says plain with cheese
 i cause a fus and a big scene it all worked out
 the food was free and i got back my 20

so we didnt have to pay.
 we got out there real fast and started a good day.
 but we were still hungry and what did we do? 
well we thought a shopping cart would fit through the drive through.

 a bad idea? i dont know. but me and west thats how we roll.
 so we climb in and away we go we went so fast no a time was spent
i was like " i hope we dont hit a car i hope we dont cause a dent"
 we finnally got to the end of the drive through 
so we told em to give us order number two and dont for get order number three
 right when we grabbed our food we jumped out of the cart and then we flea

so our trip to mickey d's was quite amazing at the least... 
as we eat our burgers and join in a great feast.
im like dang what are we doing 
we are packing our face s like a 8 year old eats pudding
 im a skinny kid but now i feel like a fat as pig 
i ate so much im starting to feel sick

so fat we feel. cuz we ate to much. kinda bad idea. 
who would of thought of such.
 well me and west kno how to kick it. eat mickey d's all day is good living

Details | Name | |


G- gingerbread man run as fast as you can
I-  if I ever see you again I'll cook you in my pan
N- next I will nibble all about 
G- getting you will be easy, with out a doubt
E- ever consider someone might eat your eyes out
R- red jelly eyes I wonder what flavor they are
B- buttons on your belly might be tart
R- run away from me now that eating may be an art
E- ever think about how it delicious candy clothing may be
A- average American snacking, just like me
D- down the hatch is what you'll be

M- morning, noon or supper for eating you up I'll be the man
A- after I eat you I'll wipe out the pan
N- now I am going to eat you, come here Gingerbread Man   

Details | Lyric | |

blue grass road

It was two am at the pit stop lounge
it was closing time, time to go
i seen you walking, you was all alone
i said i'd feel much better if i walked you home
i guess i should of asked ya which way was home
it was a long time walk'n down blue grass road
it was a long time walk'n down blue grass road 

well the stars were shinning the moon was bright
the cold when was blow'n but i didn't mind
we laughed and joked until we cried 
it was a long time walk'n down blue grass road
it was a long time walk'n down blue grass road

now ain't it funny the people we meet
I tell ya some talk dirty and some talk sweet
now ain't it funny the things we do
i tell ya it was miles of road that i walked with you
it was a long time walk'n down blue grass road
it was a long time walk'n down blue grass road 

a couple years gone by and friends still we are
we're still drinking beers in that same old bar
yeah i'll never forget that night we met
cause a night like that you cant forget 
it was a long time walk'n down blue grass road
it was a long time wlak'n down blue grass road

well the stars were shinning the moon was bright
the cold when was blow'n but i didn't mind
we laughed and joked until we cried 
it was a long time walk'n down blue grass road
it was a long time walk'n down blue grass road

Details | Rhyme | |

Wood Pecker

Wood~Pecker; Wood~Pecker,
Peck My Tree Drive Me Hollow
Til' I Scream~Cream..

Don't Waste Time Go At
A Steady "Pace," So I Don't 
Loose Sweat Nor Faint.

Your Long Beak Slams Like:
Hammers N' Nails When My 
Heart, Pounds Hard N' Heavys 
Beat: Sending It Through The 
Roof: Is Where I Want To Go.

Another Good Blow,
With One More Ounce 
Of Good Love; I Am 
Bound To Give You
All That You Need.

Say's The Wood Chuck; Chuck....

Details | Ballad | |





Details | Lyric | |

let me

let me make you unwind
damn girl you fine
let me set ya mind straight
let me open the gate
let me make ya bed rattle
make you shiver a little
girl it wont be long
before your branches get brittle,
you would like that
if I make ya ooz in the middle
and make you eaze down low
and make you play with my fiddle
and make a new song
makin new tunes in ya mouth
draining me dry
makin my stick have a drought
I got that fire
girl you know wat im all about
makin ya moan and scream
I wanna make ya shout
"ay boy ay boy, you makin me hot"
I have a whole lotta cum
and I just cant stop
if you let me stick it in to connect the dot

Details | Lyric | |

Singing the Blues

Have you ever, met a woman before?
Yes have you ever, loved a woman before? 
You wake up and see her, and run out the door

That’s my woman, that’s my strife, that’s my wife

I met my woman in a pub
Yes, met my woman in a pub
Only woman kicked out the ugly club

That’s my woman, that’s my strife, that’s my wife

She’s never been kissed by a boy
Yes never been kissed by a boy
You’ll feel compassion for her abused sex toy

That’s my woman, that’s my strife, that’s my wife

That’s my woman, that’s my strife, that’s my wife
You know marrying her has ruined my life
But I love her, I love her so

Details | Rhyme | |

Boy Is She The One

<                                   Betty Davis eyes
                                     Marilyn Monroe's thighs
                                     Greta Garbo's lies
                                     Elizabeth Taylor's cries
                                     Tells me this is why
                                     Is She The One
                                     Is She The One
                                     Is She The One For Me

                                    Britney Spears
                                    Miley Cyrus sneers
                                    Rihanna's fears
                                    Oh my dear
                                    One thing's clear

                                    Is She The One
                                    Is She The One
                                    Is She The One For Me

                                    Madonna's dares
                                    Cher's dairy air
                                    Heart's flare
                                    Fleetwood Mac I don't care
                                    Just wondering there
                                    Is She The One
                                    Is She The One
                                    Is She The One For Me

Details | Lyric | |

Trigger Finger

I'm here to settle the score, teaching you the meaning, casualty of war.  I've got 
you dead in my sight.  My scope is always precise.  On the battlefield, you've 
given up all bargaining rights.  Don't look for divine intervention, your suffering is 
my bullets intention.  The only thing more conceited than you, is my trigger finger, 
for It never hears sympathy or pleas, with me the trigger always agrees.  There 
are no negotiations, just my guns willing anticipation of a trigger fingers 
agitation.  Next time we don't hesitate on pulling the trigger.

Details | Lyric | |

Unbearable beauty in Chartreuse

Unbearable beauty in Chartreuse

A week ago, late at night
She came in Bill's bar
The way she walked, made her dress
Shimmer like the stars

With tall red hair and bright green eyes
Her hips were swinging loose
Such an unbearable beauty
All dressed up in chartreuse 

I tried resisting her allure
but I found it was no use
My eyes went wide, and couldn't hide
Staring at her caboose 

My friends soon found it funny
That I hadn't an excuse
I heard all them laughing 
As I took their lame abuse 

When she grabbed and kissed me
They tried to make a truce
But, I walked away, with this beauty
All dressed up in chartreuse 

Details | Rhyme | |

Lady Delilah Dow

Action, action! What a commotion!
“What is the latest trend?
Is there going to be an end?”
Lady Dow is trying to deliver
Leaders running to assist her

Oh, it’s a Global Countdown
Yeah, it’s a Global Meltdown

Come on Doctor Bush, make her to push
“We need some stimulus
Package in some dollars”
Come on Doctor Ben Bernanke
Is it only cutting rates?

Stage III, now it’s just got to be!
I can see the hair 
Oh it’s a wig so unfair!
“Its shoulder dystocia, or a flu from Asia!”
Naah, its simply financial inertia!

It’s getting serious, I am curious
It’s gotta be Cesarean
Who is gonna be the Surgeon?
Will Bush gift it to Barak
Will Hillary, McCain or Romney wake luck? 
Huckabee, who will it be?
Oh pain, oh pain! Who is gonna bring the gain?

Details | Lyric | |


I am an organ donor
I want you all to know,
But don't let me go under
Before I'm ready to go.

I asked myself a question
"How will my body look 
When I'm no longer in position
And after all they took?"

I'm making my request known
Before it is too late,
These are the things that you should do
Then you can seal my fate.

If you take out my eyeballs
Put two marbles in their place,
And if you remove my nose
Like Michael, cover it with lace.

If you take off my arm or leg
With broomsticks please replace,
Two grapefruits for my boobs, I beg
Some dead man's heart might race.

About my inner organs,
I won't worry about that,
But if you take my private spot
Give me a kitty cat. 

Details | Lyric | |

Like A Glue Trap

Let me give you a little rap You remind me of a glue trap You just being there Keeps drawing me near Then when I get close I get right up to your nose Once you make the touch I get pulled in so much Then there’s no letting go You know, this hug from Flo It’s just so hard to pry away Comfortably stuck, I’d like to stay When we do break the hold My body is like a jell-o mold So it made me want to do a little rap Because you are - like a glue trap Florence McMillian (Flo)

Details | Lyric | |

Ode To "Survivor"

Another season of Survivor is almost at an end.
That there will be a "shocking twist", you can depend.
Jeff will be snarky, and the Jury, too.
"Why should we give a million dollars to YOU?"
"Let me explain why I'm the best player EVER!"
That is every remaining contestant's endeavor.
Immunity Challenge victories are a must to move on.
If you fail at those, you will likely be gone.
There will be strategizing all day, and conspiring all night.
With only 5 Castaways left, the end is in sight.
At the final Tribal Council, we will finally get to the vote.
But before it is read, Jeff will hop into a boat.
The suspense is nerve-wracking, who will win Survivor this season?
Will the Jury be vindictive, or vote with common sense and reason?
After Jeff reads the votes, the winner is announced live.
The audience erupts like a swarming beehive.
The time has now come for the "One Hour Live Reunion Show".
The questions begin; there's so much we want to know.
Were there any secret scandals, does everybody hate each other now?
Will Jeff get an amazed look on his face, and say surprisedly, "Wow!"?
Last but not least, we will get Previews for next season's show.
The anticipation is crescending, soon it will overflow.
Next thing you know, Survivor is over once again.
Soon, the emptiness and despair will descend.
How will we survive the next 2 months of our lives?
The trauma will surely make us all break out into hives!
Just when we think we can function no more,
And we're crying like babies down on the floor.
Right at the time when we begin to think that our spirits have been broken,
We hear the glorious words of Jeff, "The tribe has spoken!"!
Our spirits are renewed, Survivor is back one more time!
I can finally put an end to this silly rhyme!
Thursday nights will once again be the best.
We will find another favorite player, to whom our hearts will invest.
We will hope they form the right alliances and play the game smart.
To be voted out, would be a dagger to our hearts!
Survivor will live on, this thread will NEVER die!
When next season ends, we will once again cry.
The summer will be boring, we will be counting the days,
Until the Fall Season arrives with a new group of castaways.
If you read this entire poem, I am extremely impressed!
Survivor fans are truly the best!
I can't wait to join you, on the Survivor journey next year!
Until then, I wish you good luck and good cheer!

Details | Lyric | |

Snowpacalypse 2012

The hills are getting slippery in Seattle
News blares “Snowmageddon stay inside!”
People lined up galore at their favorite grocery store
Stalking up on snow gear and supplies

Its pandemonium all around
There’s no one to be found 
The whole city shuts down
OMG its snow!

And sidewalks filled with slush
To our feet we’re yelling “Mush!”
But it doesn’t help us much
As down we go

The cars with 4 wheel drive
Spinning out in a nosedive 
are just trying to survive
this whiteout rodeo

School gets canceled for the day
The parents yell “No Way!”
But the kids all sing “Hooray!”
“We love the snow!”

And they all fill up the streets
Hurling snowballs made of sleet
making snowman by the fleet
getting soaked from head to toe

The hills are getting slippery in Seattle
The cars are playing pinball by the lot
People tripping, slipping, falling on their keisters
From the 2 inches of snow that we got

Details | Lyric | |

I Am A Jock

A bad play
On a deep and dark September
Gazing from these bleachers
To that ref who blew that call
On a freshly painted court in the middle of fall

I am A Jock
I am A Flock

I've got balls
A fortress deep and plenty
That none will discinagrate
For friendship brings me joy
It's laughter from my best friend Roy

I am A Jock
I am A Flock

Don't talk  hate
For I've heard much before
It's resting in my head
And I'll try not to wake
So It doesn't make you cry
For if I never would of put on that cup
You've  never heard  awwwww shut up

I am A Jock
I am A Flock

I have my hooks
And my cup to protect me
I am such a world charmer
Hiding behind an ump
So another won't bump
I touch no one and he better not touch me

I am A Jock
I am A Flock

And a Jock feels no pain
And a flock seems to die

This is off spin
To Simon And Garfunkle's
I am A Rock    LOL
Gl All

Details | Lyric | |

Year on Year

Yaw ad! Yaw ad! Yaw ad! - Yaw Ad
— the felt shot of your toxic mind
as blowout around by finished wine —
in evolution lift lipping been voicing
overly anew tweed is addiction		
At phases are of Valentine’s Day. 

Yaw ad! Yaw ad! Yaw ad! - Yaw Ad			
— your setting to offer one field			
of trust precious present in any choice
in deeply refraction of liquor smell
and breezing-breathes mean it off talk —
two foul had owned your heart
edge at nearness around by
up bench stopped when we were sitting — 
and ten fouls will you figure own			
by an entire bench-day stop ...
We set  plans to be sitting again!

Yaw ad! Yaw ad! Yaw ad! - Yaw Ad
— the pious reactor’s iris of redness eyes
in near highly away concept to me 
upcoming of miscible to myself
the miss-rose by Valentine’s Day
And fail goals, the poses of smiles.

Details | Lyric | |

Take you

you're like the beautiful starz and the rainbows
I can take you anywhere you want to go
come ride in my shuttle, I have no cars
we can travel to venus and then mars
we can visit the beach and dance by the sea
we can make love under the palm trees
excuse me, do you think we meant to be
if you ask me I can picture you and me
living heaven on earth
growin old together(happily married)
I can take you to a place that no one goes
its somewhere ova the rainbow
take my hand, plz dont be afraid
to go to love land, real love is the way
I can put you in the zone
so you dont wanna go
I whispered in your ear
words no one told
now you gettin hot
I got your mind blown
now you dont wanna leave
you dont wanna go home
you're like the beautiful starz and the rainbows
I can take you anywhere you want to go
come ride in my shuttle, I have no cars
we can travel to venus and then mars

Details | I do not know? | |

Packin In My Dreams

45 years behind me
I’m startin', reachin’ for the dream
I left my front porch crying
Only tears of fear
Then wiped my face
To keep it crystal clear

Your too old
You’ll unfold
They’ll laugh at your attempt
Get back in the house!
Cook a meal !!
Don’t continue.
Check the menu.
The kids are needin’ ya now!
Leave your dreams.
Give it up.
Hubby’s havin’ a cow.

I had my dream evaluated
Measured, tested, and weighed
All the experts told me
I really should have stayed…
home on another cookin’ course!
Well I’m not a cook or waiter
So instead of changing all my dreams
I traded in ‘the evaluator’
“neeeeeeeeeeeeeext!” that's my theme!

Your to old
So I’ve been told
Yep they laughed at my every attempt
Get back in the house
Don’t continue
Give it up
Pack it in
There’s nothing for ya here
There’s no chance to win a grammy!
Just relax and have a beer.

My new dream evaluator looking up said “mama mia”
Rubbed his chin and promptly asked
“who gave you this idea??’
I gathered up my things
Tried not to take a swing
He blurted, “for goodness sakes!!”
I’m only asking…
I’m just saying …
Looks like this is it…
Think ya just caught your break

I was told I was too old
I was told to pack it in
I was told to not continue
I was told I’d never win
I was told to get in the kitchen
Good things can happen to those who clean!
Today I’m packin’ for seven
Yep I said “for seven”!
My whole family shares my dream

I traded-in my evaluator instead of packin’ in my dreams
I’m not packin’ in my dreams
I never did pack in my dream
neeeeeeeeeeeeeext was my new theme!

Details | Lyric | |

here comes 'his' lover he's 'gay'

  is it fun and a game, 
or is it insane.
just to keep milking it. 
the way, 
you all do now.
look at your hands.
warm and slippery.
yellow and dripping so wet.
and ever growing.
you're fevered and glowing. 
all of your faces so red.
rejected by him at the prom.
him by all of you.
ruffies you put in his milk.
He does not drink, 
what you think he drinks 
he is good.
and loved by all, 
just as he should.
and look at him now.
passed out cold. 
but how can you now.
how can you, 
and you and your friends.
as one squeezes, 
the brown paper bag.
and when one's coming up
each well worn flight of stairs 
the other's coming down.
and all of you giggle and *sigh.*
and all of that spilled milk.
milk all that white milk.
looking around it is every where.
it's on your faces, 
and on your hands.
those blouses 
you change and your skirts.
are soaked as well.
deep asleep, like a babe.
and yes you were knowing, 
now as he comes again.
and you know by now, 
know he's in pain.
and none of you seem to care.
here comes a lover, 
that none of you knew.
that a hunk like him could be 'gay'.
and you didn't know, that
he was gay.
feeding him all of those ruffies, 
like the three of you, 
have done in the past.
like the ones who, 
came to school the very next day, 
with out memories 
of those nights of the past.
what do all you think of
your selves now. 
and even more so do you now. 
as he lays on your couch, 
deep fast in sleep. 
alive in your hands moving how. 

Is It Poetry 

Details | Lyric | |

some love

can I have it
can I get it
you know I want it
baby boy I need it
some love
"Give me some love
some love
"Give me some love"

hey lova

thats not me yet

hey lova

thats not me yet

it will soon be,
just you and me,
just wait and see,
I call it destiny

hey lova

thats not me yet

hey lova

thats not me yet

give me some love
"some love"
give me some love
"some love

can I have it
can I get it
you know I want it
baby boy I need it
some love
"Give me some love
some love
"Give me some love"

girl I know you want this

your love

let me think about this

give me your love
I want your love

Details | ABC | |

Don't You Wish You Could Dress Like Me

So you wanna know my secret of my wardrobe success 
It is all in my shopping habits I must confess 
Why spend a fortune to look like a million bucks 
I catch the bargains, I guess it's all in the luck 
I am the only one in style as you can plainly see 
Don't you wish you could dress like me 
From hospital scrubs to camouflage capris 
Just admit it, you are jealous of me 
I notice so many of the females have no fashion sense 
Look at my closet, so many clothes, I need a table of contents 
I will soon open my fashion hot line 
Just call 1-800-so-fine 
Now a contractor will expand the closet for more wardrobe capacity 
Don't you wish you could dress like me 
Joan Rivers is now requesting I join the Red Carpet Fashion Police 
She wants to bring me in instead of her niece 
I tell sorry, there are so many women screaming for my help here 
One example is Zena, her taste in fashion isn't too clear 
I just won a Pulitzers prize for my book titled Queen, the Fashion Authority 
With a little self discipline, you have a slim chance, if none, to be able to dress 
like me

Details | Lyric | |

Family is Overrated!

Headin’ back home
I don’t know what to think
I want to roam but
"I disagree," says my shrink

What does he know anyway?
And why does he want me to stay?
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

Walkin’ through the door
I see my dad
My bags hit the floor and
My dad looks rather mad

Why does he think I’m so bad?
And whys he always mad?
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

I see my mom too
What does she think
She says, "Your rents due!" and
She leaves with a wink

Why should I have to pay rent?
When all my moneys spent?
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

I see my brother
Sittin' on his bed
I ask him, "What’s with mother?" But
He never heard what I said

Never liked him anyway
I feel like I’ve been betrayed
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

We gather ’round the table
For some dinner
"So are you able to
pick anyone but a sinner?"

My mom never liked my girlfriend
Thought she’d pass like a trend
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

Packed my things up and
Headed for the door
"I’m leavin' for a distant land!" Then
My mom’s jaw hit the floor

Never liked my family anyway!
Wanted to leave every day!
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

Details | Lyric | |

On Excessive Alliteration

If you would pen some poems
Of passionate perfect praise,
And have someone to hear 'ems
To clear their ears from haze,
You'd better put a stop to
Alliteration's touch,
For letters linked a lot to
Are misty much too much.

But if you love a letter
(Let's leave it that it's "L")
And loving "L" is better
Than living long in Hell,
Then let your tongue prolong it,
And let your lungs expel,
The lasting lulls of longing
That through your lips propel.

Details | Ballad | |


IF I was a monkey,lived in the zoo.
I swing from the vine,that what I would do.
But IM not a monkey,dont live in the zoo.
So I will drink my JACK DANIALS,give a toast to you.

If the ocean was whiskey,and I was a duck.
I swim to the bottom and never come up.
But the ocean not whiskey,and IM not a duck.
So I will play TEXES HOLDEM,and drink to my luck.

If a car dont roll over me,I will live till I die
If I die meet ST. PETER,at the gate.
If IM drinking my JACK DANIALS,he will have to wait.

JACK DANIALS,JACK DANIALS,cream of the crop.
IM going to drink my JACK DANIALS ,until the day that I drop
When I drop,fall flat on the floor.
IM going to pick my self up,and drink me some more.

Details | Lyric | |

being poet

various reasons are there
and actually none, so justified...
one is boredom, other may be creativity..
which motivated to write.

tried lots of things like talking, sleeping, roaming..
though feelings are many n words are few..
this time, thought to adapt
something NEW.

was left lonely in a big room
with no good time pass
it will make you too a poet
just try it once.

its the strongest reason i think..
though there are many.
one is boredom,other may be creativity
which motivated to write.
now gonna enjoy weather as its RAINY..... :)

its disaster i know. but last line is just to rhyme.......

Details | Free verse | |

I Got Dough {Solfege}

Do -  do   -        a female la beer
Re -  re    -        a drop of re beer
Mi  -  mi             without my mi beer  
Fa-    fa -           place to drive to get ti beer
So  -  so   -        you ran out of mi beer
La   -  la   -         la de da la de da I'll wait for la beer
Ti  -    ti    -        spilt spilt ti beer so no more more of la beer

Do - Do              Do la la think I'm sexy after about six six so beers  LOL 

Got Beer !
Over The Lips Thru The Gums
Look-out Stomach Here It Comes LOL

Also Entry For Izzy Gumbo's Solfege Contest

Details | Cowboy | |

Ode to the Cowboy Yodeler

One Day I was listening to an old Cowboy song
My boots began to tapping & I began to sing along
A Cowgirl stepped to the mic & as she began to sing
It sounded like a falsetto auctioneer pulling vowels out on a string

I perked my ears & listened, it didnt seem that hard
If I could learn to yodel, I'd be a Cowgirl Superstar
So I warmed up & just let loose
Was that the call of a lovesick moose?

So I adjusted my pitch, had my stance down pat
Just as I began to yodel, I swear someone stepped on a cat
I struggled on through most of the day trying to warble & trill
And If I'd not sprained my tonsils & tongue, I'd be at it still

Let's hear it for the Cowboy Yodeler, Head & shoulders above the rest
For in mastering the yodel, you surely passed the test
I only have one question, I'd really like to know
Why they sing about her & where did the little old lady go? 

Details | Lyric | |

A Unique Message

I adhere to the Straight-Edge Lifestyle
This means no drugs, sex, or alcohol
And I love it so much
That I want to spread the message to all

You see, I have the word "drug"
Tattooed on my right knuckle
And the word "free"  on my left one
It does make some people chuckle

But I really do not care what they think
Because I also have a Pepsi logo
Tattooed on my left shoulder
It teaches other to realize and know

That they should not drink,
They should not do drugs,
And they should not smoke either
I am not the kind of guy who bugs

Other people until they do
Exactly what I say or tell them
But I have a unique message for all of you
And I hope that you all will listen

Details | Lyric | |

Return To Sender


Return to sender, return to sender

I gave a parcel to the courier
He put it in his van
Bright and early next morning
Guess what happened man

He wrote upon it

Return to sender
someone does it late
It’s not on my run
I need a map mate

I had this parcel go back and forth
I gave it the courier and it ended up in Borth

And so I sent it on a Diamond
That’s a special D
But bright and early next morning
They gave it back to me

they wrote upon it

Return to sender
someone does it late
It’s not on my run
I need a map mate

Well this time I’m gonna take it myself
And put it in the customers hand
And it won’t come back the very next day
Now you understand

He couldn’t write upon it

Return to sender
someone does it late
It’s not on my run
I need a map mate

 UNSUPPORTED CODE  Return to sender, return to sender 

used to work for DHL and this seemed appropreiate, by the way DHL is Drop it, Hide it, Lose it

Details | Lyric | |

Overtime Again

Overtime Again   
by Dave Stinnett

What is it about this temperature you always keep so hot
You always want to “fire me up”, when you’re getting’ all I’ve got,
I spend my whole life cookin’ things I know you’ll never eat,
There’s more than iron that’s melting from this God forsaken heat, 

It’s me, your oven, on overtime again.
I hope you’re making money for all the time we spend Makin’ 
smoke, red coals and hotter fires to help our steel post bend,
I’m always there to heat it up, it’s overtime again.

I’ve built up quite a friendship with a piece of iron today
He guessed you messed up several times from the things he heard you say,
Your banging, swearing, apron wearing times about to end if I 
Hear that you are blaming your mistakes on me again.

It’s me, your oven, on overtime again.
I hope you’re making money for all the time we spend makin’ 
Smoke, red coals and hotter fires to help our steel post bend,
I’m always there to heat it up, it’s overtime again.

Last year I almost called it quits, when you stoked me at the “Farm”
I’ve always had the hottest fire to heat the hardest “arn”
But you really hurt my feelings when my door swung open wide
And I saw a pair of hot dogs on a hanger poked inside

It’s me, your oven, on overtime again.
I hope you’re making money for all the time we spend Makin’ 
 smoke, red coals and hotter fires to help our steel post bend,
I’m always there to heat it up, it’s overtime again.
It’s not the jalapenos I cooked with your burritos 
It’s not the jalepenos I feel burning deep within.

Details | I do not know? | |


Happy Birthday GROVE STREET E-N-T"

with the most~
"Quid pro quo per buck"
let me say ~
happy happy birthday to you ~
i lift up my glass with a~
"lyricvixen LYRICAL Toast"
and "VIP Clientèle HOT"
as to say to you ~
i hope you have a ~
happy happy birthday~
that only a
like you can do ~
happy happy birthday ~
to a

Happy Happy birthday Tati"

with the most~
let me say ~
happy happy birthday to you ~
i lift up my glass with a~
as to say to you ~
I hope you have a ~
happy happy birthday~
that only a
"GIRL IN A PINK Bi·ki·ni"
like you can do ~
happy happy birthday ~
as "HOT-O-licious"
as "Tati, GOOD GIRL YOU"


Details | Lyric | |

Just a Game

You want the girl, then listen to what i have to say.  Only whipped men listen and 
obey too anything women will say.  Be aggressive when you see what you want 
and always remain nonchalant.  Act as you could careless, even when their self 
esteem exceeds the rest.  Don't think of your initial meeting as an act.  Girls have 
a sixth sense about fiction from fact.  Find common ground, but always remain 
cryptic and profound.  The less they know, the more their curiosity will grow.  
Never overact when your pride is suddenly attacked.  This is just a game, never 
let her see shame and your ego will remain intact.  Never declare your love too 
soon and your appeal will remain immune.

Details | I do not know? | |

writer's block

I can not think
of one word to say
I can not write
one word I think
I have writer's block,..
and it stinks.
Clever expressions, hard nose impressions,
all words escapes me,
oh how I wish I knew 
just what to do
to find a way 
to unblock me....

Details | Lyric | |

A Trip To Heaven

At times, the world demands too much
And more than I can give
So then I close my eyes and dream
A special place I'd like to live
There's calmness, peace and warmth in the air.

Details | I do not know? | |

Just Love and Peace

Simple as that, just love and peace.
Writing for all who need a release. 
Writing for those who can't seem to find 
A poem that compliments days and nightime.

Dream time comes I wake but don't write.
No need to bother, be silly laugh light.
I plea for comedic, no drama because, 
it makes things pecuilar and creates too much buzz.
So the lesson plan today is simply just laugh.
Just peace and love, you hold the bat.

Details | Lyric | |

Suspicious Through The Year

Calling time is here; hand me the phone dear
Fun for all that lovers call
Will they miss you this year

Snows flare in the air, they are every where  
My lines or your lovers’ rhymes
Which one you deeply care

Snows flare in the air; I’m goin’ no where
Come, be by my side
And leave the phone just there

My love, I am here; there’s no other dear
Oh, why can’t you really see
Suspicious through the year


Poem inspired by JH’s CCC Poetry Contest
and was based on Christmas Time is Here
by Vince Guaraldi, 1965

Details | Lyric | |


Say your prayers and sit up straight,
Get into that confessional box to wipe clean your slate.
Make sure you get all those wicked sins off your chest,
The lord will only welcome those who are wholesome and blessed.

In pitch black silence you sit, your final thoughts to gather
Before being shocked into repentant mode with a blast of “in the name of the 
“How long has it been?” the priest enquires, he must know you will lie?
You take the first figure that pops into your head then you divide, not multiply!

Those awful sins that lay heavy on your heart,
From your reluctant mouth they slowly depart.
You tell of bouts of swearing and theft from mammys purse,
And stealing a bag of crisps from your sister, now what could be worse?

“That’s is all father” are 4 short words you triumphantly announce,
The priest mumbles some mystic latin verse then a Hail Mary to pronounce.
Finally your chore is done and you are asked to go in peace,
You gleefully skip out of the box and celebrate release!

Details | Lyric | |

let's do it

peas do it
whole forests of 
deciduous trees do it
we's could do it too

let's copulate

complete phylums of 
pedigrees do it
i hope you'll agrees, 'n' do it
all desires to appease, do it

let's copulate

the paupers and the potentates
everyone wants to procreate
all manner of fauna and flora
do desire and simply adora

to copulate, they think it's great
every species wants its mate

giraffes are always necking
pretty parrots prefer pecking
gouramis like their kissing 
waiting ladies, other blissing

so let's copulate

orchids all colored and scenting
attracting insects by augmenting
instincts desire to copulate
life’s fascination to procreate

arthropods genetically driven
give nods to drives unforgivin'
the whole world's standard of livin'
is driven by a desire insatiate 

to copulate and procreate

so i hope that you'll agrees
don't give my affections a tease
i prefer not to beg, but please
i'll get down on my knees to

assume my position 
on this admonition
let's copulate

oh baby, slake my burning desire
to amorously set your pipes on fire
all i really wanna do
is water your Archimedean screw 

so let's do it baby, let's copulate

to tell you now, my own discourse
it's just our mattered intercourse
a filibuster would be remiss
I vote for you and me to congress

I'm unimpeachable
if you're reachable
let's do it, let's copulate

© Goode Guy 2011-06-02

with thanks, (and sincere apologies) to Cole Porter

Details | Lyric | |

Deal with It!

I'm under so much stress
My life is such a mess!
Don't be a dope
And hang by a rope
I'd like that even less!

Details | Rhyme | |

It serves you right

I came home,
And you were gone.
You left a letter,
Said you were movin on.

Said you didn't,
Have time to explain.
You were headin to boston,
To catch the next train.

Now you'r back,
Knockin on my door.
Lookin for the love,
That don't love you anymore.

It serves you right,
To be as lonely as you are.
It serves you right,
You torn my world apart.
So go back to the one,
Who took you from me.
I dont need you no more,
Now that i can see.

Now I am sittin here,
Soakin up the sun.
Thinkin of you,
And what you have done.

Feelin no more pain,
And healin my heart,
It serves you right,
To be as lonely as you are.

It serves you right,
To be as lonely as you are.
It serves you right,
You torn my world apart.
So go back to the one,
who took you from me.
I don't need you no more,
Now that I can see.

I don't need you no more,
I'm soakin up the sun in miami.

Details | Lyric | |


Don't try that with me.
You forget how well I know you.
Ya see,
I spent three,
Yes, three,
Entire years learning you,
Because I thought that's what I should do
Considering I was prepared to spend my life with you.
Don't even try it.
Like I can't spy that fake ish
In the words you're desperately trying to convince
Me to believe,
Or maybe you're trying to convince yourself.
Either way,
It's a waste of time.
I can see that you're not happy,
And despite myself, I couldn't be more pleased!
You'll get no sympathy from me.
You actually thought I'd feel bad?
Or some emotion resembling sad?
For you?!
HA! That's a good one.
Why should I feel bad for you?
This is exactly what you put me through,
And, finally, it's coming back around,
And to think all you thought you found.
It's like deja-vu,
Only, this time, it's not me crying over you.
You're crying.
I'm trying,
Practically dying,
To hold this laughter.
So much for your happily ever after!

Details | Lyric | |

I don't know what to call this...

Ok. So for those who don't know I want to go to California.
However I may get there, I don't really care.
Nor do I give a dam. Yes that's what I really meant 'cause what I say and what I dream are
bigger than any amount of water in the world.

Danger in every corner of my life, it must be nice to be sitting in a reclining chair
knowing that you have 50 soldiers at your command.
I'm not talking about Obama 'cause I have complete respect for him. Instead look at Arnold
Schwarzenegger who doesn't have to do a thing.
All he has to do is sit back, relax, enjoy the ride, and not die.

I'm sitting here and talking about the governor of California but look at where he landed.
It's time I took a leap forward and stopped looking at the past.

Details | I do not know? | |

I kept you in the hard disc

I should have keep you
In a floppy disc or in a CD
It was my mistake 
I kept you in the hard drive

It may be the reason
It is hard for me to forget you
You occupy a major portion
In the hard drive of my mind

I shouldn't have that serious
Then I wouldn't have cry like this
But it happened and I am helpless
I can't do anything to change it anyway

I tried to erase you from my mind
I found it very hard to do it
You spread all over me like a virus
I may need a overhaul clean-up

Time is the best medicine
To cure this kind of illness
Move away is another option
Some may say it is coward's behavior

I should do something very soon
It is really bothering me a lot
I am thinking of many options
I hope that I will find the right solution

Details | ABC | |

Trailer Park Body (

I could not afford a Bow Flex, costs too much 
I get diagrams to build my own from a man named Henry Clutch 
The instructions say if I build it right 
It will make me lean and my stomach tight 
The first step, according to the instructions, is to collect empty beer bottles and 
I go across the road to see Inez and Stan 
They open their closet and tell me to take what I need from empties in here 
I was kind of disappointed when none of them were from Busch Beer 
They ask me what are they for, I tell them they're for a hobby 
I smile as I see myself in 32 weeks with a trailer park body 
The next step is to collect some full sand bags, I know who to contact, the 
National Guard 
I know a female Sargeant there, he name is Louise, but her troops call her Black 
She has the looks of her dad Stew 
But she has a singing voice like Julie Andrews 
She hooks me up with three full sand bags, which is more than I need 
Step three I can't do, it would violate the trailer park creed 
I guess cheaper isn't always the way to go 
I bragged to my wife about the new me, but now I must eat crow 
I decided to use the stuff I collected to decorate the front yard, but my wife said it 
would look too gaudy 
I look around at the heroes here at the park and realize that after all I do have a 
trailer park body 
Now I am back to square one
This trailer park is rippin' and roarin' fun
That couch sitting out in front of lot nine
After it's dark it will be mine

Details | Rhyme | |

Ho Ho Ho

Go to sleep 
Go to sleep
My little ones

Or Santa
Just won't come

For he knows when you are awake
For He knows when you are asleep

Close your weary eyes now
And I'll go take a little peek

Tap Tap Tap
Upon the roof

It's santa coming 
For I hear reindeer's hoofs

Hush Hush now
Don't say a word

Better hurry 
And fall fast to sleep
Or he just may leave you a big turd

Let sugar plums
Dance in those pertty little heads

As I made sure
Santa was nice and fead

Cookies and milk
With nothing else

Oh thank you my dear Lord
For this nice little cord

For they are fast to sleep
Now I can go back to bed
And count my own lost sheep

Details | Lyric | |

Front Porch Stepp

I'm sitting on my front porch stepp
Me my brew my dog named Shepp
Watching all the lovely people driving by 

Some even stop just to talk to me
Others drive by thinking I don't see
Some on the phone just like they're at home
All of them so scared to be alone

I'm sitting on my front porch step
Me my brew my dog named Shepp
Watching all the lovely people driving by 

If I had my way I'd just 
Make them smile
Just to make them happy each, and every mile
Just to make their journey seem, worth their while

I'm sitting on my front porch step
Me my brew my dog named Shepp
Watching all the lovely people driving by 
People driving by

Details | Lyric | |

TWITTER SONG that I write.

ROCKIN' TWITTER :The original twitter song (Parady of ROCKIN' ROBIN) BY 
He rocks in the TREEHOUSE all a day long
Hoppin' and a-boppin' and a-TWITTERING' the song
All the little FOLLOWERS on T-COM WEB.
Love to hear the TWITTERS goin' tweet tweet tweet

Rockin' TWITTER (tweet tweet tweet)
Rockin' TWITTER (tweet tweet tweet)
Oh rockin' TWITTER well you really gonna TWEET tonight

Every little TROLL, every FOLLOWEE
Every little SPAMMER in the tall oak tree
The wise old GURU, the big black GIRL

A wordy little BLOGGER at the HOMIES first POST
Taught him how to do the TEXT and it was grand
He started TAPPIN' steady and bless my soul
He out popped the HASH and the FOLLOW

He rocks in the TREEHOUSE all a day long
Hoppin' and a-boppin' and a-TWITTERING' the song
All the little FOLLOWERS on T-COM WEB.
Love to hear the TWITTERS goin' tweet tweet tweet


Details | Rhyme | |

You Feelin' Me?

I'm not critically aclaimed,
I ain't got no money to my name,
I'm having ot hang my head in shame,
there ain't nothin' good about me,
I'll just have to wait for you to see.

I'm going to let you go,
and if you come back, we'll take it slow.
Look into my eyes,
and dang boy, please don't lie,
ah, come on, don' be shy,
tell me how you feel,
and be real.


I'm gonna beat you in the head with a giant hammer,
gonna cause a clamor,
I'm gonna drag your body to a hotel,
gonna crack you worse then the liberty bell.

You feelin' me?

I'm gonna stab you in the heart with a lit cigarette,
feel no regret,
I'm gonna scream at you,
and if you run I'll pursue.

You feelin' me?

Oh no, I don't think you see,
nobody lies to me,
I don't think you feelin' me,
I guess I wasn't meant to be on your family tree.

You feelin' me?

What do I have to do to knock some sense into you?
I'll give pain where pain is due,
I'll shoot you in the head with a water gun,
then I'll suffocate you with a hamburger bun,
I'll drown the eyewitness,
then practice physical fitness,
I'll chase you down when you run,
then I'll shoot you with a real gun,
I'll shoot you in the head,
bang, you're dead.

You feelin' me yet?

Details | Imagism | |

An Innocent Dream

Last night I saw a dream-
I was in the midst of a brown gleam;
The spot was like a land of cream;
Lakes and ponds were full with it -upto the brim.

Beautiful blossoms were everywhere,
The fragrance were for everyone to share ,
The snow flakes seemed most fair,
It seemed that Nature has created them with great care.

Chocolate creams made up the seesaw,
There was cno one to guide me under law,
There was no signs of fears and flaws,
And there was a cream cat with snow white claws.

What a dream it was just like the beauty of a rose-
But all were shattered when the light of dawn fell on the tip of my nose.

Details | I do not know? | |



My FLOWERS are keen
And watch what I do

My FLOWERS count time
And lies when they’re true

My FLOWERS fill a bowl
At the edge of my mind

There in the moonlight
My FLOWERS are enshrined

Fresh then are my FLOWERS fine
Love of floral, love of mine
Left alone, left to shine
All that’s bright and twice divine

My FLOWERS need a bell
That rings on Sunday morn

A bell of splendid color
For FLOWERS when they’re born

My FLOWERS lean north
To drink from porcelain dish

My FLOWERS lean south
As willpower turns to wish

Fresh then are my FLOWERS fine
Love of floral, love of mine
Left alone, left to shine
All that’s bright and twice divine

My FLOWERS follow kings
With gemstone and stained glass

My FLOWERS stand at guard
No ancient age shall pass

My FLOWERS catch rainbows
And blue peas in a spoon

My FLOWERS press aloft
Under starry winter moon

Fresh then are my FLOWERS fine
Love of floral, love of mine
Left alone, left to shine
All that’s bright and twice divine


Details | Lyric | |

Show Me Your England, Ashton

Show Me Your England, Ashton
Show Me Your England, Dear
Show Me Your England, Ashton
Now, That I’m Finally Here…

He Took Me To New London Bridge
He Took Me To The Tower
And The House Of Lords And The Privileged
As Big Ben Chimed The Hour

He Took Me To Piccadilly Square
… Rode On The River Thames
England, Is Extraordinaire
And I’m Glad I Saw It With Him

… To The Palace Of Buckingham
Then Again To Parliament
At Hyde Park, We Had Tea And Jam
Then A Pub, For Refreshment

But Of The Sights, That He Chose
The Best Is; I Saw The Queen!
The Next Day, When I Arose…
Why… It Had Been A Dream… So…

Show Me, Your England, Ashton
Show Me Your England, Dear
Show Me Your England, Ashton
Now, That I’m Finally Here…

Details | Lyric | |

Become Your Enemy

Seeking retribution is the only solution. Don't let pity fill you with confusion. So 
here is evils contribution. When disposing of evil, one must become evil. When 
composing an honest face, the enemy you must embrace. When using devious 
behavior, turn to satan as your savior. When engaging an enemy, know his 
weakness is your remedy. The weak and powerless should not be punished for 
an a@#holes flaws. So i will fight their wars. Take these steps for face value, for 
these people you encounter are pathetic and shallow.

Details | Lyric | |

Ode to the black lady

I'll never fail
thee to hail even when I ail
with ginger ale
I'll be hearty and gale
even though I face a gale
steady still will be my sail
and surely, I'll be on the rail
by your side to tell the tale
of how I fught tooth and nail
to get you this bale
of finest Arabian veil
to shield your skin from growing pale
and for your eyes not to wail
even if the sun may trail
but if I must go, I'll mail
and send you flowers by pail
and a puffy puppy without a tail
or a big barking male
born and bred in Yale.  


Details | Lyric | |


Growing up, I was never really interested
In all the sports kids would watch and play
I was worried that I would never get to be an athlete
But all of that would change one day

When I purchased a movie from Walmart
That starred Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn
And after I watched this film
All my feelings of doubt and worry were gone

Because I had just found my calling
It is not that much of a known sport
All it has is six red rubber balls
And it doesn't own your ordinary court

You see, you to keep your hand on the wall
Then when the referee blows his whistle
You run as fast as you can to grab one or more of those red balls
And you try to eliminate one or more

Opposing member of the other team
And I'm telling you right now
It has been my dream
To play this fun and interesting sport

Please don't get me wrong
I know it is not like the movie I saw
But with eagerness, heart, and spirit
I will win Dodgeball, I will never lose or have the match end in a draw

Details | Rhyme | |

Fast Awake

Thank God for 7-27, when my son flew in
Life as it should be will forever begin
Charming little visions of how days are meant
To teach him as he shows me how life is spent

Listen to me now and read what I find so true
Words are like a beat that can start a groove
Bring the rhythm back to lift your spirits up
Don't worry too much because we all get stuck

My life seems to stop before it begins
Caught in another ever-recurring trend
Giving away every one of my previous wins
With Faith and company until my life ends

It's time now to be down again
Even faster than western winds
Life can run around, leave you in loop
Feeling that life needs one more scoop 
Tip the timer over, fall with the sand
Live for every second you possibly can

I will soon learn should luck turns up
I'm lost, backwards, and running amuck
Trying to regain what I thought I missed
Elusive, erratic and ending up like this

Never have I wanted to be other than here
Life in crystal-clear brings visions near
Capable are your dreams so easily achieved
All you have to do is work & truly believe

Look for a big picture in whatever you see
Never believe free, it offers no guarantee
Just sit back and listen to tales they tell
And make your own path but remember it well

Don't try to be so deep, just work to relax
Make life a story but include all the facts
Learn about yourself when you're at the mic
Work the crowd just to see what you're like

Life will soon be everything you need it to be
Proceed with sight don't let only destiny lead
You always have control in every step you take
Follow dreams today and always live fast awake

At times I don't know where this path would go
Like I'm hosting a show I've never seen before
Filling in the gaps, taking punches for others
Learning along the way what life really offers

It’s time now to be down again
Steps closer to an unknown end
Digging up dirt nearly burying yourself
At least the digging is good for health
Live your life now, stay until the very last
Live your life today as if it's already past

Details | Alliteration | |

Girl Girl Girl

Whether we wander wistful
whether we wander wise
we waltz wedding’s waltz; whenever
whatever weather
we’ll wriggle with wishful wives

Wind wispy willow
willy-nilly we’ll whirl 
we’ll widdle we’ll weave; whenever 
whatever weather
we'll waltz with wedding's wench

Well worthy we writers
who with words wrench

Finishing Line Press.  Book FAREWELL TO THE DUST, by C. S. Leaf avalible March 2008

Details | Limerick | |

Things do happen

Funny things or crazy things of the world
Small or big, things do happen in the world
when our heart wants to go some where
but the way becomes tough to go any where
what we give nobody takes
what we ask nobody gives
colorful weather do exist
color of the wind never exist
when we are in a hurry
we often have to worry
scratching the head to think something
working hard to achieve something
All these may be our activities
We may get reward for our abilities
When utilized in a proper way
Then success will be not away
we should always keep in mind
we should never look behind
things of whatever kind
may happen one day
wait for the day

Details | Ballad | |

Sesame Street Buns

The casting crew look at you and their minds go in the gutter 
If you knew their thoughts, it would make you shudder 
Ernie feels left out without his rubber ducky 
Big Bird believes he can lay eggs, he tells himself maybe tonight I will get lucky 
You strut around with your Daisy Dukes to tan in the sun 
Every sees your exposed Sesame Street buns 
Go visit Maria, she has the fix it shop 
Visit oscar and revel in his slop 
Mr. Hooper allows you to run a tab in his General Store 
Snuffleupagist with a snozz like that, I bet he really snores 
Now you have a date with Louise in apartment 101 
He is salivating as he thinks about your Sesame Steet buns 
Watch out J-Lo you have a rival from the backside 
Dirty thoughts cause men to approach a non Catholic Priest to confide 
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new number one 
Hang your head in shame J-Lo the one on Sesame Street has the best buns 
The Count counts the votes over and over all day long 
Bert is on steroids, now he's strong 
Get to the church, the wedding has just begun 
Grover is marrying the one with the Sesame Street buns 
Hearts are broken, she is no longer in the singles scene 
Cookie Monster covers his depression with cookies and cream 
Within a month they are divorced 
Not surprised, they are celebrities of course 
She is now used goods, everyone is stunned 
J-Lo moves in to the neighborhood to claim the title of Sesame Street buns

Details | Ballad | |

I Can Finally Drive

My bicycle days are through 
Please help me spread the news 
I no longer have to be a 32 year old hermit 
Mom and Dad got me my permit 
I just bought a car that seats 5 
Thanks to my parents I can finally drive 
Mom goes with me and my girlfriend out to eat 
Mom rides shotgun, my girl in the back seat 
While we are eating with live entertainment 
My girlfriend expresses how she doesn't like the car's seating arrangement 
So my mom drives and my girl is shotgun 
Now I am the lonely one 
We drop off my girlfriend and I ask my mom to remove the knife 
She says stop complaining, now you can drive 
The next night my Dad goes out with me and my buds 
We want to sit back and suck down a few suds 
Not on my watch, my Dad says 
My night out with the buds was disastrous 
After one beer, my Dad says you are too drunk to get behind the wheel 
He has no idea how this freedom of driving makes me feel 
My Mom and Dad are smothering me, my social life will never survive 
With them around, it look as if I will never truly drive 
Now it's Mom's turn to escort me, guess where we go 
My girl and Mom in the front seats, we stop at Domino's 
We all three sit in the car and wait for the pizza to get done 
Mom says no a/c, let's enjoy the sun 
I begin a waterfall of sweat 
Mom says look at you, you're all wet 
Mom asks for extra napkins when the pizza is delivered to the car 
Mom says tonight is Friday, let's park by the lake and enjoy the stars 
At the lake, I will drown myself, if I take a dive 
I am going back to the bicycle, I will never again attempt to drive

Details | Lyric | |

It's Harassment, Baby Oops Sorry

These things offend, know I, tis true. In these I've been schooled, now I tell them to you. An innocent touch, a wayward look, a word or threat aimed anothers way. Is today considered harassment, and that party has final say. Were not to needle, mock, or jab, to razz, or quip, gibe,or jeer. To scorn, roast or ridicule, and whatever you do don't leer. It's best that we not banter words, deride,intimidate, or taunt. Should you be one inclined to joke, these too, you must not flaunt. We must not rile another, even though it be in jest. Sneering too, is not allowed, so put those thoughts to rest. Anothers traits never mock, nor offend with apparel you doff. Find not within, reason to knock, while daring not to scoff. Belittling another isn't right not take occasion to tease. But other than these few things treat others as you please. In meeting, should I not extend a hand, and appear to have little to say, It won't be because I'm snobbish, but fear a Tort Lawyer coming my way.

Details | Lyric | |

Country Side of Me

If you do not see me at a five-star restaurant
Do not take it bad, I prefer KFC
I don’t shop at the JC Penney or Armani
Walmart is the only place for me

I cannot drink that fancy champagne
Budweiser and Jack Daniels are my only boys
When it comes down to speed
A jacked up Chevy and Camaros are my favorite toys

If you see me wearing a NASCAR hat,
A sleeveless flannel shirt, Wrangler jeans, and Justin boots
I am sorry to dismay or disappoint you
But you will never see me wear those fancy suits

I have got a gunrack in my truck
I work at the loading docks
To earn me some bucks
So I can make so money to have fun

If my lifestyle offends or confuses you
I just love living out in the country
That is all I can do to explain
The country side of me

Details | Lyric | |

O it's April there

O it's April there
When the mango blossoms turn to seed
And budding pear
Call the honey bee from flowery weed
And the maypole dancers are preparing
For May day fairs, and youth wild cheering.

O it's April there
And lapis lazuli dance upon the seas
And maidens fair
Like butterflies frolic in the balmy breeze.
And all my heart is under the tree waiting
For you to come, funny face, and smiling.

O it's April there
When Don and I turn our hearts to the reef
Diving corals where
Beauty is a panorama of colors beyond belief
But O my heart is under the tree waiting
For you to come, funny face, and smiling.

Details | Lyric | |

A Dream

Outside my window these is a tree
Which is a symbol of only me
As I looked at the water
Where the milk mans daughter
Was wiggling her toes into neat little rows

I saw the guard dog dressed fireman’s wear
And from the chimney the smoke did stare
The flowers sat my window’s ledge
 And painted their faces and danced to the edge

While the ants marched to the drummers beat
And the grass withered in the summers heat
From the top of a willow a sparrow spoke
And the cat laughed at the squirrels joke

I felt a stirring upon my face
My heart was beating at quite a pace
It was then I felt a gentle poke
And so it was that I then awoke!!!

Details | Narrative | |


Mi camma to America wid a passion for moni en fud,
hoppin to getta rich;
en de sai det gold is founda in striz!
Mi work en work ol dei
to meke sam dollar,
en mi eat pizza, en drink vino...
mi wanna be lika Al Pacino:
a famos attor ov Hollivud! 
En me veit too mani iers, to see butiful voman 
laika Marilin Monro...whata a fess!
Whata a bodi! A Diva so sexi!
En mi wanna be laika Valentino from Italia,
to sedus ol duh pritty ladi vid mi ciarma;
en ol kiss mi...O locki Casanova!  

English Translation:

I come to America with a passion for money and food,
hoping to get rich;
and they say that gold is found on streets!
I work and work all day
to make some dollar,
and I eat pizza and drink wine...
I would like to be like Al Pacino
a famous actor in Hollywood!
And I waited many years to see beautiful women
like Marilyn Monroe...what a face!
What a body! A Diva so sexy!
And I like to be like Valentino from Italy,
to seduce all the pretty ladies with my charm;
and they all kiss me...O lucky Casanova!!

Entered in Deborah's Gucci, " Dialects make the world go around "
(Brooklyn-Italian dialect)

Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci

Details | I do not know? | |

And We Drink!!

With a shot and to a swallow
To chilled from within
A pint with frigid golden jumps 
To this a game begins
The orb, a cup shall swallow from
A coin crashed drown to win
A deck, a hand, a cup lift up
In more we drink again! 

Details | I do not know? | |

"One Two Comment"08"

 	  "One Two Myspace Comment"08"

1,2 i myspace see you
3,4 a myspace comment, is at your door
5,6 lets myspace do this
7,8 it feels so myspace great
9,10 lets do it all a myspace again~
11,12 so lets ring that myspace bell~


would you like too~
i am wild but shy
caring but selfish
nun-ish even when i write sins


Details | Lyric | |


Dang, chick, what happened?
Why you lookin and actin
Like a hoe?
No homo.
But I know so
That it ain't supposed to
Look like you're after
Ballers and rappers.
Chasing dollar signs 
And lies
With your short shirts and tight jeans.
Can you even fit into them things?
I ain't tryin to be mean.
I'm just keeping it real,
Telling you how I feel
About your fake attitude,
Always actin rude,
Chasing some dude
In a bar
Because he drives a big, fast car.
I guess that's just who you are,
Another wannabe superstar.
We'll see how far
That takes you.
But you do you.
And I'mma do me.
And we'll see
Who ends up on top because I guarantee
You gone be lookin up to me
Wishing you had followed your dreams
Instead of greed.

Details | Free verse | |



the dancing machines
please stay away from everyone's knees
you very nasty


Please please please
stay away from especially
my knees you very nasty 
and honorable theives


so please fly off to those daisies
for these these these are the only way I want it to

{ bee's }

Little Song Jenny And I came Up When She Was 4 LOL 
Thanks All For Stopping

Also Entry For Matt Caliri's Contest
Funnest-hardest Poem Ever

Details | Lyric | |

Historical Heros

What's up with all this hatred in the world?
Off the top of my head I can name at least three people that could always see the "big
Dr.King used his knowledge and his speaking abilities to persuade people to become one.
Rosa Parks endured hardship just 'cause she sat in the front of the bus.
Malcolm X preached with authority and truancy.

Oops, I guess I can name four 'cause Michael loved the trees.
I'm not talking about the basketball star but the one who I always pray to before I dance.
I feel like I owe something to them but I always screw up.

I can make anything happen in my head but when it comes to words, It's better to let
Motormouth say the words in a two second story.
Why is it that no one kid WANTS to remember these names?
They were key players in this world in trying to make the world a better place.

"Yes we can" is what Obama said but are our hearts content?
We still do the idiotic things we did before but at least we don't have Bush to encourage
our rage.

Details | Lyric | |

I'll silence the Moon

I'll silence the moon, for me, to be in your room. 

Details | Lyric | |

we started out kinda

we started out kinda real young
baby i know i was a fool,
now ive grown up
all of the things we use to do
do you remember
i wanna be your man,
aint tryna be ya friend (be ya friend)

so tell me do you like it
drop, top, mercedes benz
top up ,cause your hair be (blowin thru da wind)
wheels spinning, hair did( blingin ring) ya dig

she pull up at the club lookin like, millions,
billions, watching you from a distance
all the fellas be watching you like a vision
ya sexy thighs,sexy hip, sexy midsect
looking real good,make a reggin wanna hit that,
forget that, i think im ready for commitment
so are you ready for submission


n-e-ways, i know you with him for a short change
but you and me together forever,
will never change
when i was younger all i thought  about was spitting game
never caring about your feeling was to remain,
the same, im sorry i cause you all this pain ( i promise you)
i fill them all with brighter days
(and hopefully) i just get a chance to say, that
(i love you) and i hope that you feel da same way 


we started out kinda real young
baby i know i was a fool
now ive grown up
all of the things we use to do
do you remember
i wanna be ya man
aint tryna be ya friend, be ya friend

i aint tryna be ya friend...
girl i only wanna be ya man
so baby want you let me in...
and i promise it will never end

Details | Monorhyme | |

G for ganja

G for God -
G for ganja!
G for good -
G for ganja!
G for great -
G for ganja!
G for gold -
G for ganja!
I wonder
What a stanza!

Details | Lyric | |

Drunken Nights

The night we met
We said no words at all
That didn't really matter
Because we were dancing, drinking, and having a ball!
I watched you all night
And then we shot pool
Your bod was so fine
I started to drool!!
The looks you gave me
I couldn't stand
I wanted you bad
I'm so glad you weren't on demand.
We had one night together
Now you are gone
I'll wait on you
Till forever's dawn.

Details | Lyric | |


A woman's like a cat,
coniving and keen.
One minute purring,
the next minute mean.
She'll slice open your heart,
with her sharp claws.
And as you know a woman,
she has no flaws.
So don't bother trying,
to put up a fight,
Cause no matter the man,
the woman's always right.

Details | Lyric | |

In Thought Out of Thought

Once on line
And then off line
Once in thought
Then out of thought

Run far 
Far away
Slam the door
You seem afraid

I will not harm you
My words will be few
I will not question
Nor pursue you 

The door again now opens
The door again now closes
Again in thought
Again out of thought

Details | ABC | |

My Wife Beater Shirt

I buy the Hanes three in a pack 
I have a house, not big, but not a shack 
I drink my juice sitting on the couch 
I have no ambition, I am referred to as the slouch 
I sit out front and drunk before the morning sun 
With My Wife Beater Shirt I Get Things Done 
My girl gets a welfare check every month on the first 
I have her brainwashed like Patty Hearst 
But then again, I have many hoes 
With my smooth charming ways, I keep them close 
I am the spider, they are the flies, what a web I've spun 
With My Wife Beater Shirt I Get Things Done 
Sweat causes me to change my shirt too soon 
Maybe I should switch to Friut of the Loom 
I just got a new ho with a love that stuns 
With My Wife Beater Shirt I Get Things Done 
The Marios come by to sell me some heat 
Stolen fresh from up the street 
Huge discounts on plasma tv's 
They say I can choose from several dvd's 
Now the cops have got me on the run 
With My Wife Beater Shirt I Get Things Done 
Now I'm sitting in the clink 
No hoes, no welfare, no juice to drink 
Now I wear orange and pick up highway trash 
Free meals, a bed, a roof over my head, there's no need for cash 
According to my coveralls, I am inmate number 101 
Without My Wife Beater Shirt, I No Longer Get Things Done

Details | Lyric | |

permanent marker

ima leave this earth 
with a permanent marker
ima make sure
im tha one you remember
dont cha know
im hip hops-adolf hitler
when i spit ryhms
im tha biggest killer
watchin a movie
im tha-serial killer
you cant compete
im tha one you gonna remember

Details | Free verse | |

Two: Babel On

The eclectic neglected feel so disrespected you know I wrecked it where ever I step -ed and you would, dismiss it? I'm brain fried a drain dried step up to my main eye in the middle of my seeing stones I see your tone, its mellowdrone Neglected eclectic you seem so collective it seems so effortless the celebrated, all frustrated because they can't get any more wasted or useless I won't waste it on you, another thought I know I can't break through your drought I know I can't prove to you, it's rotten that doing the right thing is toughest often I guess I'm neglected, come from the collective and consciousness is overrated for the freest all sleep naked.

Details | Lyric | |

Time Travelin' Man

He traveled through time, playing his country tunes
His melody of life, a time machine in his room
Stunned them in the nineteen twenty's, with Let It Be Me
And awed them in twenty-one twenty, with a Hank Melody

He fell in love in twenty-three twenty, at the Starlite Cafe
And when he gave her a kiss, he found she wasn't a she, she was a he
So he got back in his machine, and headed for Tennessee
That's where he met Elvis, in the year of seventy three

He always kept travelin', this time travelin' man
Playing the oldies, to a new kind of fan
They laughed at his clothes, but applauded his toons
As they listened to him playing, under the moon

He traveled back home, with a star in his eye
Ran into his wife, she just set there and cried
He gave her a kiss, showed her his machine
They both crawled in, and have never been seen

Oh! He always kept travelin', this time travelin' man
Playing the oldies, to a new kind of fan
They laughed at his clothes, but applauded his toons
As they listened to him playing, under the moon

Details | Lyric | |

gostta be

I gostta be dreamin
this girl got me feenin
her swag makes my heart sing
she got me so thirsty
she moves her body slow
she turns up the tempo
I dont know which way to go
she got me sayin whoa

Details | Ballad | |

Pennywhistle Tune

Fried eggs on a sunny day,
white clouds in the hamper.
Dreamfully dozing dogs,
black kittens scamper.

Dim-witted clock alarm – 
nobody’s sleeping!
Morning’s a carousel
dipping and leaping.

See all the ants in line.
What say the roaches?
Beetles go soaring in
shiny black coaches.

School kids may all digress
skipping the sidewalk. 
Lawyer may lose his tongue,
judge climb a beanstalk.

Brown eggs and buttercups,
blue-starch the collar.
Moth-wings on sale today,
six pair a dollar.

Details | Light Poetry | |

' The Dance ... ' (Part 2 of 2)

‘ The  Dance … ’

Oh … How I Love To Dance
Why … Do I Love To Dance ? …
Its Rhythmic … Its Ritual
… The Body is So Beautiful ! …

Once … I Saw The Ocean Groove
… That’s The Way, I Want to Move
Earth-Spinning, Round and Round
Don’t You Know … We All Get Down ?

Don’t You Know, What The Good-Book Says
‘God’ … Moves in Mysterious Ways
That Is Why I Love To Dance …
… His Empire, Moves In Elegance !

Lord, Have Mercy, Keep Moving Me
Moving and Grooving, to Your Glory !
Blood-Flowing, Lung – Breathe
‘ The Spirit ‘, is Zooming … You Better Believe !

( Just Look At It Move ‘His’ Girl, MoonBee !_

Acrobat, Hip-Hop, Ballet
Art of Tap, Polka, Reggae’
You Can Do It !… I Know You Can
Just Listen, To That Bible – Band ! …

Music … Just Adds Motivation
Stirs A Soul To Celebration
Dancing … is A Declaration
We’re On Cruise-Control, In His Creation !

Dancing … Can Be A Holy Act
God, and His Son … Like It, Like That
So, Nod Your Head … Do The Wave
Signal ! … You Want To Be Saved !

Don’t Be Shy … At Situation
Meet Me At ‘ The Revelation’
They’re Opening Up, The Garden – Gate
… Hurry Now … Don’t Be Late !

Cherubs, gonna’ Let Us In
No Cover Charge … Bring A Friend
Oh ‘Son of God’ … Please Partner Me
… Dance Me To Eternity !

Oh, How I Love To Dance
It’s A Rhythm – Romance
Passion – Performance
Yes Lord … I Love To Dance

Dance! … into Eternity
Dance! … Better Than A Fantasy
Dance! … Universal Dance Floor
Dance! … Don’t You Wanna’ Dance Some More ?

Dance ! … Now, Can’t You See ? …
Dance ! … We Gon’   P a r t y !
Dance With This Girl, thru The Galaxy
Dance With The Stars and The Only MoonBee

Boys Shout ! … ‘Bring On The Dancing Girls !’
God’s Making A Wonder World
Them … Us … You … and Me …
Still Moving … To His Mystery !

           Now Dance ….

Details | Light Poetry | |

' The Art Of Dancing ... ' (Part 1 of 2)

‘ The  Art  Of  Dancing… ’

Oh ! … How I Love To Dance
Why… Do I Love To Dance ? …
… it’s Rhythmic … it’s Ritual
The Body Is So Beautiful !

Oh ! … How I Love To Dance
Why … Do I Love To Dance ? …
If You’re Breathing – You Ain’t Still
Check Your Heartbeat and It Will …

Dance … Into A Fantasy
Virtual Reality
Dancing Makes Me Feel So Free
… Come and Do A Dance With Me

Dancing … is Good Exercise
Dancing … Adds A Spice to Life
Dancing … is A Natural High
You Can Do It … If You Try …

… Head, Shoulders, Legs, Feet
Get ‘em Moving to The Beat
Back, Arms, Hands, Hips
Shake, Stomp, Slide, Slip

Bend, Bop, Break, Bounce
Push, Pull, Prance, Pounce
Soul-Roll, Slow, Fast
Jump, Jiggle … All That Jazz !

Dancing … is A Form of Joy
Do It ! … Baby Girl and Boy
Keep The Music, Playing Please
Honey … Just Look At Your Knee !

When I Dance … I Come Alive !
Waltz, Cha-Cha, Swing, Jive
Circle, Square, Line, Freestyle
Tango, or Step – Side to Side

Innocent – Interaction
Expression – Satisfaction
Set-it-in Motion … You and I
… Aaw, Just Look At That Guy

Oh ! … I See You’re Moving Now !
… thought You Didn’t Know How ?
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! … He! He! He! …
You Dance ‘bout as Good as Me ! …

Supper-Club, or in My Room
At Your House … or Under The Moon
If I Hear A Real-Good Tune …
You Will Know, I’m Dancing Soon

… Dance … Into A Fantasy
         Virtual Reality
Dancing Makes Me Feel So Free
… Come Dancing Now … With The MoonBee

Posted for:  Jared Pickett, ‘Cause I Know
       He Loves To Dance… (Smile)


Details | Rhyme | |

Let's Duke It Out

I was born in nineteen sixty nine
just off the block and in my prime
now let me introduce you to 
some pertty good friends of mine

Let's start with my uncle Jesse
to me he looks like he's ninety nine
but I love to watch him when he
takes nips from his moonshine 

Here's my owners Bo and Luke 
cousins of a kind just hanging out
with Daisy who looks 
so sweet and so darn fine

But There's some other folks
that just don't like our kind
its those sheriff folks thats
watching the hazzard county line

Starting with their fearless leader Boss Hogg
Who's radioing all the frigging time to
Cooter and Davenport And to that rascal
Rosco P Coltrane who he cannot find

Now my life is such sweet devine
when your jumping in and out of my windows 
while running from those sheriffs from Georgia County line
in my general lee waving a confederate flag thats in it's prime
Honking my horn to a dixie tune of same kind

Tribute To The Dukes Of Hazzard LOL

Also Entry For
Christopher Higgin's 
Get Your Rebel On!

Tho This Poem Is Not About A Person 
Changing My Life But The Time Era Did
And Something About That Show Changed Me
About Opening Your Heart And Home To All

Details | Lyric | |


boy you give me a rush,
boy just hush, hush
dont talk just touch, touch

I cant escape,
your warm embrace,
I cant stop this feelin,
your love runnin through my veins,

I cant explain,
what you do to me,
I cant contain,
the freak you bring outta me,

"boy you give me a"

boy you give me a rush
boy just hush, hush
dont talk just touch, touch
you give me a

feelin I never felt before
you give me a
chill that comes down my spine
you give me a
sugar rush
dont talk boy
just touch

you give me a
you give me a
you give me a 
sugar rush


boy you give me a rush
boy just hush, hush
dont talk just touch, touch

Details | Lyric | |


creamy creations
i love this situation
cookies and cream
strawberries and dingalings

Details | I do not know? | |

Sometime i Judge YOU

"Sometime i Judge YOU" 

what would i do 
if i knew the real you 

would i spit 
on  dirty hidden you 

could i forgive 
all your ugly big sins 

is it even my place 
to through it all in your face

you, the hole
you. the thief 
you, the one wHO put your hands on me 

so what, what 
you think you got the best of me 

so what ,what 
must i wait 

is this the plan 
to see you  BURN 

i don't want to wail~ 


Details | Lyric | |

As Our Lifes' Changes

We all search for happiness 
We enjoy even the thought
We hope for all things of brightness
To join us as along life's road we trod.

Just trying to reach the top
Unknowing exactly what the top is
We work hard as young adults
Just like little honey bees
We gather our goods
Putting them all into our nest.

We journey on along
Hoping we are with our final mate
Even tho somedays are diamonds
And some are stones
Just like Neil Diamond said in his song.

So what is the meaning of it all
As age creeps into our bodies
You get older and yes you become wiser
But you are also much trier now
As age has a way of doing that to you
For it is all a part of the aging picture.

When your mind as well as your body
Finally realizes 
That these things you thought were so important
Can't go with you as your final journey you do make
They are left here for someone else to look through
And to complain about what a mess you have made!

Details | Lyric | |

merry christmax

bells are jingaling
carolers singaling
happy christmas songs
jack frost nippaling
at my nose
while i'm singaling
christmas songs

chestnuts roasting
turkey baking
dinner wont be too long
the tree is loaded
lots of toys
for the girls and boys...

bells are ringaling
carolers singaling
happy christmas songs
jack frost nippaling
at my nose
while i'm singaling
christmas songs

Details | Ballade | |

Pour Me Another Cup Of Java

Oh just pour me another cup of java
Nice rich and steaming like hot volcano lava

Rustle me up some bacon and some beans
Even throw in some of those good looking greens

Pop that toaster up come on let's go
Theres some grass that I still gotta mow

Kiss grandma on her rosie cheeks
And even uncle Joe who's fallen fast to sleep

Mop the floor where someone spilled
You can alway's later blame it on brother Bill

Dog's barking at the mailman's feet
Running Jumping growling looking for a treat

Mom yelling for kids to get out of bed
If I have to come up there someone will be dead

Newspaper laying at the front door
Waiting for someone to read it and explore

Clock ticking time to hit the streets
Feeling tired and looking very beat

Wish I had never gotten up
To this hot steaming java that had filled my morning cup

Little Song in head 
Gone Wild    LOL

Details | Lyric | |

Chez' Frederic - The Restauranteur

(Best if you try to do this to the tune of the "Beverly Hillbillies" TV show)

This was a story 'bout a man named Fred,

A had workin' man ... always kept his family fed.

Then one day he was cookin' up some food, 

When on like a light, an idea came thru...

FOODSERVICE - - - - - - - - - CUSTOMERS!

Well, the first thing you know ol' Fred's a restauranteur,

Folks all said ... "Fred, you'll make it for sure! 

But away from the city is where you oughta be",

So, he packed up his skillet and moved to the country.


He hopes you like the food that's cooked and served with elegance,

You can relax and enjoy it ... amidst the country ambiance.

Be sure to thank the folks who prepared it all for you...

With a round of applause for the serving staff too!!

"DINNER'S SERVED - - - - - - - - - - BON APPETITE"

Details | Ballad | |

Beer Money, Wine Taste

If you could read my mind you'd know that I'd never talk
And if I could stretch a mile you'd know that I'd never walk
But I've got to get up to go to work to my nine to five
To keep the pace in this rat race I have to survive
But this minimum wage pay will never help me out Lord
So I need more cause I want more than I can afford

Cause all my friends are driving Benz's and wearing expensive clothes
With bigger houses and finer foods so this is my status in quo

I've got beer money, I've got wine taste
Can you see it in my eyes, its written on my face
Give me this, give me that and I don't want to wait
But I've got beer money, I've got wine taste
And uh~ beer money, and uh~ wine taste
Always make me wanna haste but that leads to waste
So I'm praying for some patience and little more grace
With my~ beer money and my~ wine taste         (Chorus)

But my money and my patience's short, the line is long 
And when things start looking right in life what's left is wrong
I need extra strength this and I need fast relief that
Someone call western union hurry cause I need some cash
To pay my debts and all my bills, I'm planning to buy a lot
Because I'm always wanting something that I just don't got

Cause all my friends are driving Benz's and wearing expensive clothes
With bigger houses and finer foods so this is my status in quo

I've got beer money, I've got wine taste
Can you see it in my eyes, its written on my face
Give me this, give me that and I don't want to wait
But I've got beer money, I've got wine taste
And uh~ beer money, and uh~ wine taste
Always make me wanna haste but that leads to waste
So I'm praying for some patience and little more grace
With my~ beer money and my~ wine taste         (Chorus)

I need designer hats and jeans,
A limousine on the scene
To keep up with the Jones;
I need some precious stones.
I want to be in the spotlight
In restaurants day and night
With the means to these ends nonstop;
I wanna be filthy rich so I can shop.


Details | Lyric | |

The Quiche is on Fire! (2005)

The Quiche!
The Quiche!
The Quiche is on fire!
Let the people know that the cook is on hire!
Burn baby burn!
Let the new cook 
Let the new cook learn

Details | Lyric | |

Poem Pending

Roses are red
Violets are blue
What if all things in life
Revolved around me and you?

Details | Lyric | |

Today My Car Died

I guess it was time to put it to rest
Tho still a beauty it is
For it was one of the best.

A Lincoln Town Car 
Many may not know
Will go forever
As their legend is told.

It traveled many miles
Many more than probably it should
Matter of fact 496000
Almost half a million 
To be exact.

But it is at rest now
For it finally laid down
It left me just alittle ways 
Out of our home town.

With this many miles 
It had a right to be tired
Sometimes I too feel 
Like my Lincoln 
And want to retire.

Details | I do not know? | |

A Life And A Prayer

Lord I pray
That if today
If someway
Would end,

Before I lie
Before I die
Before you cry
Think it over again.

Details | Cowboy | |

Listen T' This Little Ditty

I sometimes think my poetry ain't poems in modern favor.
Intelligentsia declares, but I danged well won't waver
from writin' simple, unpretentious words 'n' thoughts called “witty”.
From now on my poetry ain't a poem, it's called a ditty.

“Listen t' this little ditty.” I've heard those cowboys say
when they begin to sing a song of wisdoms of the day.
Now I don't think me wiser than the smart guys that I know,
but I just like to fake it in my stand up poet's show.

Now cowboys, they write poetry to sum their thoughts in rhyme
'bout words o' wisdom or describin' real weird points in time -
like twisters twistin' towns apart or floods that float the cows
or simple words, “what goes comes 'round” brings thinkun' jus' like owls.

So listen to this little ditty, if fer nuthin' else than fun
of listenin' to a cowboy fake that he's a wiser one 
a spoutin' words of poetry that some folks may call “gritty”.
I'll seldom waiver from my writin' what I call a ditty.

Details | Ballad | |

Honey Wagon

It makes it's run in the afternoons Monday through Friday 
At 3pm it will be coming your way 
It's not a ride for all to enjoy 
It's mainly for the girls, just a few boys 
But one female's heart is draggin' 
Ms. Betty ponders the question I don't know why he won't give me a ride in the 
honey wagon 
The men that receive their ride know their ranking in the food chain 
First rule, men get in the back, sit down, shut up and don't be a pain 
A new girl started today, her name is Megan 
One of the guys has to go, to open a seat for her in the honey wagon 
When someone is not at the pick up area, the seat remains unoccupied 
For the men there is a lot of red tape to qualify for a ride 
Who will be the next guy with the right to be braggin' 
Fred wants to know when will his name be coming on the list to ride in the honey 
Today it is running late 
The honeys know it is a long walk to the gate 
If it takes a man to be a prince and slay a dragon 
He will do any thing for the honor to ride in the honey wagon

Details | Lyric | |

But For Synonyms

For budding author, or storyteller, a would be poet or bard. To ideate, then put on paper, for me is occasionally hard. At this present time, at Desktop Publisher I muse. Probing my cerebrum, for fruitful ideas to use. I scratch my head and ponder, I chew and meditate, I contemplate and digest, probing for reasons to celebrate. I deliberate, then reflect, and I mull but still can't see. I speculate and study, but rewarding thoughts aren't to be. I imagine, and I consider, then ruminate and weigh, but alas I find no thoughts, just synonyms today.

Details | Lyric | |

coffee with your cream?

I got laid in starbucks the other day
I was workin on finishing my latte
when the manager came up to me and said hey
at first I was like go away but then i looked up

asking if I wanted another cup
I slowly sputtered out, Yup
damn girl you is fine
what I wouldnt give to make you mine

Must be your lucky day cutie
as sexy as you are you can have my bootie
finally she took me into the back
lifted her dress and bent over a stack

french vanilla....hell no bend over the hazelnut
and there I was banging away on her butt
her boss finally walked in and asked what she was doin
for i wasnt the first customer that she got caught screwin

this is it now you've got to go
you keep missin work and now you a hoe!
but please daddy it not as it seems
this nice young man just asked for fresh cream~

Details | Lyric | |

When Pugs Cry

Dig if you will a hole
Of you and I engaged in a kiss
The dirt on your nose tickles me
Can you help me
Can you dig a hole

Dream if you can a backyard
A field of yellow in bloom
Pugs strike curious poses
They feel the pressure
The pressure of a doodie in tow

How can you just leave me squatting
Alone in a backyard that's so cold…so cold!
Maybe I'm just shedding
Maybe I'm just like my father, too old
Maybe you're just like my cousin
He's always outside…he's always outside!
Why do we doodie on each other
This is what it sounds like 
When pugs cry

Rub if you will my stomach
Feel how my dinner trembles inside
You've got my legs spread eagle
Don't make me bite you
Even pugs have pride

How can you just leave me squatting
Alone in a backyard that's so cold…so cold!
Maybe I'm just shedding
Maybe I'm just like my father, too old
Maybe you're just like my cousin
He's always outside…he's always outside!
Why do we doodie on each other
This is what it sounds like 
When pugs cry

Ooh, ooh, ooh, baby!
This is what it sounds like
When pugs cry

Details | Lyric | |

The Duke Of Derring' Do

Man About Town… Richly – Renown
The Duke Of Derring – Do

Part Of His Fame… Debonair Dames
Saved From A Distress Or Two

Handsomest Face… Ladies Chase
All – Over The Place… For His Embrace

What’s A Gel’ To Do?...
For The Duke Of Derring’ – Do…

Chivalry And Gallantry
He Wears It, Like His Clothes

Right- On Cue… Tailored – New
All The Ladies Sigh… Oooh!...

What Do They Say… There’s A Day
A Maid May… Take His Breath Away!

… Take It As Your Due…
Duke Of Derring’ – Do!...

The   Duke…  Of…  D e r r i n g’ – Do!

Details | I do not know? | |

Roll'in Dem Dare Stones...

Wilfredo, hey buddy, I was thinkin' more along the lines of,"Sympathy For the 
Deviled Eggs"!!!  Regards,tom

Details | ABC | |

Keep Me Under Control

I am so wild, I carelessly run around
I am the last horse in a one horse town
I'm as wild as wild can be
I have zero guidance, so I live my life aimlessly
Do what you have to, send me to assist the Border Patrol
I need someone to neuter me and keep me under control
I live life by the seat of my pants
I don't want love or trues romance
I believe that every moment counts
When you fall down, there is still time and room to bounce
If a jet can fly, it can surely land
When wrong is done, justice needs to be a firm hand
One day I may feel peace and love deep in my soul
When I find that one that can keep me under control
If there is a poster child for bad, it has to be me
I do not welcome the Devil, but there will be no begging for mercy
I often wonder what do people think
I really don't care after my third hard drink
You are wasting your time if you want to preach
You are educated, so do your best to teach
I am not worth being loved by you, so do not glow
I want discipline, so do your best to bring me under control
I party and sin and live as I please
I will never be driven to my eyes
I am a rebel and that will never change in my life
Not looking for love, a white picket fence or a loving wife
I can take the streets and deal with them blow by blow
Are you the one to keep me under control
Some people have it, some don't and some never will
I'm tired of hearing about it, I have lived it, now it's overkill
The question is do I want to sell my soul
You can save me if you can keep me under control

Details | Burlesque | |

Pretty Kitty

It's Saturday night and I'm cruising
Power poles going by like a picket fence
Just cruising the scene in my street machine,
looking for a queen who wants to do her best.
Bar hopping door knocking looking for a cat with claws.
Just petting her and letting her grab her whip and be my boss.

Lookin for a roadside attraction,
a lot of long legged action,
a place where I can chase,
a kitten all laced up,
with no one to swing her string.
Went downtown to the playground looked all around ,
and found a sweet thing like a candy machine,
doing naughty things on the dance floor,
shaking her sexy thighs.

I leaned over and told her as I nibbled on her ear,
"Take a drink of that bottle and grab hold of my throttle, 
let's fourth gear out of here."
We split the scene like a time machine,
like a freak streaking through the zoo.
Like a horny rabbit it's a habit gotta have it 
hit the highway doing a hundred and two.

She was my toy full of joy, my snack in the sack
All night I couldn't tame her flame. 
But when I got up at dawn my wallet was gone
that girl knew how to play her game.

Bar hopping door knocking
all the pretty kitties got claws
and if you pet her and let her 
do the night thing called the kitten dream
She'll walk away and say it's all for the cause.

Details | Lyric | |

Between You And Me

Some of the little things
That tried to brake us apart
Should of made us strong in our hearts
Because you are the love of my life
I love being your wife
I treasure all our moments together
It is the funny things 
That you do, makes me smile
And life is good with you
That our love can last awhile

Between you and me
We can make our love right
Between you and me
And we can love each other 
Between you and me
We can last forever

When we started out
Others and they had there doubts
They said we wouldn't make it
Between you and me
We can work out the mistakes
Together we can work it out
Together we can make it
Threw all the hard times, rough roads
We've climbed over mountians
Carried some heavey loads
Together we are rasing a family
And my sisters to
And if we have arguments
Between you and me
Realize we all make mistakes
But it takes us to make it right
( Repeat chours)

Some of the little things
That tried to brake us apart
Should of made us strong in our hearts
Because you are the love of my life
I love being your wife
I treasure all our moments together
It is the funny things 
That you do makes me smile
And life is good with you
That our love can last awhile

Between you and me

Details | Lyric | |

imma triplethreat

ima triplethreat
im clamin the flame
and during ice age
i was the comet that came
))))HIT IT(((

Details | Ballad | |

Hoochie Koochie Bop

It all starts when you walk in the door 
Men hoot and holler as you enter the floor 
Your body shakin' in all the right places 
As you look around you see the looks on the men's faces 
The music and the electricity have you pumped, you just can't stop 
You show the crowd how to Hoochie Koochie Bop 
Another hottie comes out to show you up 
You both compete to see who has the better stuff 
The gyrations, all the steamy moves 
Another hot mama enters the floor, she is well into the groove 
The crowd goes wild as a man grabs your waist 
You tell him I'm the candy you will never taste 
He asks what does it take to get what you've got 
You tell him to get off the floor, you can't Hoochie Koochie Bop 
A female approaches you and grabs your hand 
Something about this seems right, she understands 
She smiles at you, you smile right back 
You know she is only after one thing, that's a fact 
She wants to take you to her penthouse loft 
Maybe it's time for a one on one Hoochie Koochie Bop 
The dance floor feels so good, so right 
You tell her to go, you want to dance all night 
A couple more shots of tequila will do the trick 
You want to slow down, things are moving too quick 
You are flawless on the floor, no one will mock 
You are the master of the Hoochie koochie Bop 

Details | Rhyme | |

Bum Fights

I’m poor, you’re poor
I’ll fight you for your door
Your box, your shoes 
I’ll wish you many more
I’m poor you’re poor
There’s no exit from these doors 

What for, what for 
You unraveled on my floor
Adore your score
But your rash looks really sore

No more, no more 
You’re slacking on your chores
I’m poor, you’re poor
I need lotion for my pores 
Instead, I’ll fight you for your door
Your box, your shoes 
I’ll wish you many more 
I’m poor, you’re poor 
There’s no exit from these doors 

Details | Lyric | |

swirve on

if you got tha nerve
to getcha dance on
report to tha flo
and getcha lean on
from the left to the right
getcha swirve on
getcha swirve on
getcha swirve on

if you got the nerve
to getcha dance on
report to tha flo
and getcha swirve on
from the left to the right
getcha lean on
getcha lean on
getcha lean on

Im on the flo
I get my swirve on
everybody in the club
getcha lean on
from the left to the right
getcha dance on
if you got the nerve
move ya feet and bring it on

getcha swirve on
getcha getcha
swirve on
getcha swirve on
getcha getcha
swirve on

move ya body on the flo
and get busy
keep movin ya feet
and get dizzy
straight butta
when i glide across the room
I swirve on
aint nuthin this smooth

getcha swirve on
getcha getcha
swirve on
getcha swirve on
getcha getcha
swirve on

swirvin impala
bass is bangin
on 22s' while my rims keep turning
i hit the blocks
while my car keep swirvin
i swirve on
everybody lookin

Details | Lyric | |

Ms Kitty

I got a hump on my back
like a kitty kat
I got fellaz askin
can they get on the track
favorit position is from the back
and dats dat
I walk like a kitty kat
and dont act like 
you dont want this body
I can make ya hot
I can get naughty
they call me sasha
cuz im very sassy
I brin new swag
cuz im very classy
I can spice it up
if you come to me
the heat of passion
give me compassion
I can take this heat
the right direction
letcha self go
give me sum effection
but then again
theres more to other men
I got women askin
can they get it in
they wanna wine and dine
they wanna gone get it in
we up in the club
while the lights flashing
I twork it out
while the fellas lookin
sit back and listen
when I pop that kat
I drop it low
fellaz diggin on that
I do it so well
I gotta make my ends
im tearin up the stage
fellas throwin benjamens
I got gents and ladies
they wanna get it in
I got fallz barkin
tom cats jumpin
ladies askin
can they get it in
I got a house on the beach
off the coast
In the mist of the night
Im always on the go
"Ms Kitty"

Details | ABC | |

Master Pimp Meets the Ultimate Red Neck

A man walks by in a gray polyester suit 
He tells another man to call him Juice 
The other man in bright orange hunter's clothes, he looks bold and brash 
He tells Juice to call him Cold Hard Cash 
They sit at the bus bench to discuss a new business they want to start 
It all begins tomorrow around the corner at the local trailer park 
Cold Hard Cash tells Juice, this is my last 500 bucks, but what the heck 
It all started when the Master Pimp met with the Ultimate Red Neck 
Cold Hard Cash tells Juice, follow me, I will give you the grand tour 
Starting at my trailer on lot number four 
As they enter Cold Hard Cash's place, it smells like rotting potatoes 
Juice enters and slips on some cherry tomatoes 
Cold Hard Cash says here and hands Juice a plate of sauerkraut and dogs 
He tells Juice, if you stick around for supper, I will roast us some frogs 
Juice asks Cold Hard Cash, after we eat, can I be given the golden key to the 
Cold Hard Cash, says let's go next door we will begin at Judy Starks 
Juice goes with Cold Hard Cash to interview their first employee in their line of 
money makers 
After the interview, Judy says yes, Juice comments, she's a real shaker 
At the next interview, the girl shows them why her picture used to be on Breck 
This all transpired when the Pimp Master hooked up with the Ultimate Red Neck 
Juice says we need one more so we can rotate them around the clock 
We will put them to work outside the laundry mat and liquor store, which are on 
the same block 
Cold Hard Cash asks what if one calls in sick 
Juice answers in a business voice, then one of the others will pull a double shift 
Juice points and asks what about this place 
Cold Hard Cash says you don't want to see her face to face 
Cold Hard Cash says she's the one they used to design Shrek 
Good luck with your business, Master Pimp and the Ultimate Red Neck 

Details | Ballad | |

Z Lovely 39

She comes in just before 6:30 
Donald's ride will never be early 
Their relationship is not kept under cover 
She calls him her big brother 
Now they both drive a 300, Donald says his is better 
There is nothing like the smell of leather 
Zena keeps hers cleaner, it holds more shine 
She has a nickname I gave her, Z Lovely 39 
She starts to freeze when the temperature dips below 79 
Her heater is on full blast most of the time 
Palmetto bugs, spiders and snakes 
Zena will run a mile a minute to escape 
Donald said he is thinking about moving his desk out in the warehouse to keep 
from walking back and forth 
5-2-9 suggests Donald buy some Dr. Scholl's cushioned insoles to prevent his 
dogs from getting sore 
Zena just got her new clothing catalog from 1-800-SO-FINE 
It was addressed to her exclusively, Z Lovely 39 
Another day starts with my desk neighbor, new adventures will arise 
Donald will spend most of his day by her desk, comes as no surprise 
He has romantic visions tumbling like a dryer in his mind 
He will always big brother to Z Lovely 39

Details | Free verse | |

Trouble By kimmy holmes,{ my daughter)

I've stayed away from trouble
Straightened up my life
I pay the rent
when rent come due
I gotta a day job
I'm goin to school
I give up the whiskey
the late nights out
I got  myself a savings account
But here comes TROUBLE
Ridin up on his 4X4
He scuffs them dusty cowboy boots
across my polished floors
Here come TROUBLE
he's just in time
I've been so good
Nearly lost my mind
If I could just get into TROUBLE
I'd be fine
Mama, you're gonna be so disappointed
when you hear I've turned a fool
But this get tin up early
Five days a week ain't cool
Ima gonna pop the tab on this cold Coors Lite
Go lookin for trouble
Maybe a fight
If Iand in jail
I've done it right

Details | I do not know? | |

Julie's Candy Store

for all you musicians out there- this is a standard blues progression in the key of 

"well, I've had my days....
and I've had my nights.....
yeah, I've had my lays....
and I've had my fights..
but I carry on...
hopin' some day
 to see the lights...

I've suffered some,
in my married life,
I suffered most,
at the hands of my wife...

cause she treats me bad,
and I'm meek, like Barney Pheiff...

well, I've had my fun,
ain't gona have none no more,
yeah, I've had my fun....
but now I'm shook to the core...
cause she kicked me out,
don't live there anymore....

yeah, she kicked me out,
cause she said I snore...
I'll never understand...
that woman I so adore....

well I got a room,
one I was lookin' for,
but its got its problems
problems that I can't ignore....

see, I got a place...
just over Julie's Candy Store...
cheap enough, as it had to be,
ain't got much money anymore...
but I got a problem...
all because of that cheatin' whore....


yeah, it ain't no fun...
livin' on top of Julie's Candy Store,
no it ain't no fun'
of this I can assure,
I get so embarrassed,
ain't got no bathroom door....."

by bill and tom bell

Details | Burlesque | |

Hark, Hey Harold, the Calif. Angels Sing!!

Hark, hey Harold,
the Angels sing....
glory to the homerun king...
piece of turf,
with bases wide,
runners steal,
when pitched inside,

Come ye bunters,
drop one down,
see if we can win
the division crown

Piece of bleachers,
crowd gone wild,
all because of
the runner's glide

Hark, ol' Harold,
get some franks,
and give to heaven
your heartfelt thanks!!

Details | I do not know? | |

"Porkpie Jones."

Porkpie Jones has brittle bones, and crusted corn-filled toes,

And sleety eyes and bulgy thighs, and brillo pad elbows,

His underarms are typical farms, and reek a barnyard smell,

Its quite the place for creepy, crawly, parasites  to dwell,

The ample dirt in his ears and on his head has just began to harden,

There's so much dirt on him everywhere, he could grow a flower garden,

The birds fall quickly from the sky, whenever he starts to speak,

His teeth and gums are as black as coal, and all his bone joints squeak,

He trips when he walks, spits when he talks, and spills everywhere when he drinks,

Three triple Dagwood sandwiches to him are a light snack, his decorum and etiquette 

The ground shakes when he takes a step, and cars fly when he sneezes,

And he feels free to dine and snack on anything he pleases!

The sight of water gives him chills, and soap will make him screech,

He can't fit in his bathtub, so he bathes at the beach,

Porkpie dives into his drinks, and scorns the use of cups,

And when he falls, some will laugh, but the ground starts cracking up...

He's never been able to touch his toes, he can't reach any farther than his hips,

When he bends over, its always a treat to experience a total eclipse,

His home is in disarray, it needs improvement,

Porkie Orlivander Jones scorns unnecessary movement,

He's absolutely clueless, on how to close the gate,

Or feed his starving fish, or wash his every dish,

Or vacuum his entire floor, where dust mites romp and roam,

Or change his heaping can of trash thats nearly large as Nome,

Loads of bills that he won't pay, coat his table tops,

He puts his Suitcase in his closet, right next to the lamb chops,

Porkpie never was that bright, in school he was a tease,

In fact I think his grades were so low, that he would get straight Z's!

Well we all can learn a lesson here, I'm sure that all is known,

That we must keep our appearances neat, and always brush and scrub our feet,

And be respectful when we eat, or we could all end up like Mr. 

Porkpie Orlivander Alowicious  Alexander GianCarlo Markowitcz Jones!!!!!

Details | I do not know? | |

Tales Of Hero's

There once was a man who lived in Sherwood,
Who all the folks called Robin Hood.
He stole from the greedy,
And gave to the needy,
But would steal from the poor if he could!

Details | Burlesque | |

Walking In My Winter Underwear

a parody on song "Winter Wonderland"- inspired by my winter alone in an 
unheated house.

"Come away, I am threadbare
Snow is falling....
Where there' be hair..

A cold-as_sed dam_  night
It's really a fright
Walkin' in my winter underwear..

Butt-cheeks gleaming
Through the holes, near the seaming
A nasty cold a_s,
My skin is blue cast
Walkin' in my winter underwear..

In the meadow we can make a snowman
And pretend that he's an EMS
He'll say- "sonny is that really you?"
Or did someone paint you a_s blue? 

Later on, I'll perspire
When I light...
My a_s on fire....

It burns so that way
I'm happy so say
Walkin' in my winter underwear...."

Details | Lyric | |

piss poor of a man

you a sorry piss poor of a man
you been around the block
you even slept with my friend

i dont see
why you cant get it right
you come in-late at night
we start to-fuss and fight
youre not actin right

you a sorry piss poor of a man
you been around the block
you even slept with my friend

im the kind -
who speaks her mind
boy you wasting my time
i think you should leave
cuz you keep hurting me

plz dont testify
dont wanna here no lies
you can not change my mind
you wasting your time

you a sorry piss poor of a man
you been around the block
you even slept with my friend

i guess you cant 
get it right
you will never
get it right
all i asked of you
was to treat me right

you slept around
"back then"
you even slept
"with my friend"
youre trifflin
"to the end"
you and me
"never again"

you never payed a bill
never asked how i feel
you never payed attention
never take time to listen

you a sorry piss poor of a man
you been around the block
you even slept with my friend

you think
you got it like that
when in fact it's not like that
you need to step on back
listen to all these facts

you a sorry piss poor of a man
you been around the block
you even slept with my friend

Details | Lyric | |

My Choice

My world's falling apart
But I can't stop it
If it doesn't get better,
I might throw a fit.
I've lost my heart, 
And I'm losing my voice
But the funny thing is,
This was my choice.
I chose to be me
This evil person inside
And it's only getting worse
And I'm no longer mine.
I've changed so much
And I can't take it back
It's no use
This is the last.
I've lost my heart
And I'm losing my voice
But the funny thing is,
This was my choice.

Details | Lyric | |

A Piece Of The Night

When the sun comes
It'll be rising while I'm sinking
Actually I'm realizing that the moon is more likable to my thinking
It's out when the day is at it's coolest
When the fools get even more foolish
Or when the good gets better
To whom ever however
They choose to do their thing may midnight be as good to you
as it's been to me

It's made the meanest girl just that much more sweeter
Carried a deep conversation even deeper
Even when my sleepy eyes were burning
We kept on talking on the telephone
Reaching out right beneath the stars
What better way to escape 
When you don't even have a car?

Details | Ballad | |

Your Body Can Break a Man's Bank

I look around and it is you I see 
A girl who is a stock market catastrophe 
You are a high risk investment that won't pay out 
You put on your makeup like bathroom grout 
I have no idea where you fall in the official rank 
But your body can break a man's bank 
So what you have changed the color of your hair 
Your personality is a car without it's spare 
Keep in mind, this is just me and my point of view 
You are that piece of meat spit out because it was too tough to chew 
You are the left over beer that wasn't drank 
But your body can break a man's bank 
Your face is like a painting that looks good from far away 
Men still flock around you to my dismay 
You are the results of an out of hand prank 
But your body can break a man's bank 
The perfume is not hiding the fact that you don't bathe 
That tells me it's not cuddle time you crave 
I give up, be straight with me 
You are from the gutter, but men treat you like the queen bee 
In a word game, your brain is the blank 
But your body can break a man's bank

Details | Ballad | |

Bubba Spent the Night

Our son asked can a friend stay over
He just moved here from dover
The friend says tonight's Friday, usually we have pig's innards
He says my name is Cleetus Billy Joe Jim Bob Jones, after he stutters out his 
name, it's time for dinner
But you can call me Bubba, he seems very polite
I pray no nightmares as Bubba spends the night
I tell him we are having Makerel Cakes and Mac and Cheese
He says I will take four cakes and two helpings if you please
Boy you sure do have an appetite
I tell my son our budget won't allow Bubba to ever again spend the night
Soon dinner is over and Bubba still wants to eat
I grab a funnel and melted bacon fat and tell him to have a seat
He says we eat fatback soup sometimes on a weekday
He tells me the doctor tells his whole family, that sometime their arteries will turn 
to clay
bubba says I don't eat for calories, I eat for taste
I tell Bubba, if you keep eating like that you will become hazardous waste
He laughs and cheers in delight
This all happened when Cleetus Billy Joe Jim Bob Jones spent the night
At 2 am he asks for a snack
I give him a sleeve of Ritz crackers and a pound of Monterey Jack
I hand him a jar of Grey Puopon
He says after I eat this, there may be trouble in your john
He smiles and asks for a Diet Coke
I try to watch my health, I don't drink or smoke
Eight more hours, then our budget will be alright
He asks when is the next time I can spend the night

Details | Lyric | |

I Hope It Rains...

I Hope it Rains…
I Hope it Thunders with Lightning
I Hope The Wind Kicks-Up, ‘til its Frightening
I Hope There’s a Hurricane Sighting…

‘Cause, that’s How I Feel, Right Now
‘Cause You’re Leaving Me Anyhow
After All the Love I Gave to You…
… Now, I can’t even Talk to You
… I Hope It Rains…

I Hope it Snows…
I Hope an Ice-Berg - Breaks Your Back at the Door
I Hope a Blizzard - Buries You… Ice-Age-Slow
I Hope an Avalanche ‘Catch ya’, as You Go…

‘Cause, that’s How I Feel, Right Now
‘Cause You’re Leaving Me Anyhow
After All The Love I Gave to You…
Now, I can’t even Reason with You
… I Hope It Snows…

… This is The Fury, of a Woman Scorned
… if I had my way… You’d Never Been Born !
… I Hope It Storms…

I Hope it Hails…
I Hope it Hits You in the Head and Beats You Down
I Hope it Crushes Your Heart and Dreams – All Around !
I Hope it Knocks Your Suitcase and Soul, to the Ground
… Honey … I Hope You Never Make it to Town…

‘Cause that’s How I Feel, Right Now
‘Cause You’re Leaving Me Anyhow
After All The Love I Gave to You…
Now, I can’t even Hold Onto You
… Look – Here Comes The Rain
… Here Comes The Rain…

I Hope The Clouds – Start Fighting
I Hope the Air – Starts Biting
I Hope You’re in a Tornado and It Starts Tightening
… I Hope it Floods Out There – ‘til You Look Like A Viking !
… Here Comes The Rain … Here Comes The Rain

Details | Burlesque | |

Have Your Shelf a Merry Little Bookcase...

Have your shelf, a merry little bookcase,
because you know it's true
Your books are piling up
and you don't know what to do....

So have your shelf
a merry little library.....too

Details | Lyric | |

Soda Pop Emotions

Can’t help going insane crazy here,

Won’t hear my name is biggest fear.

If I don’t, might could explode,

Be just small part, if I unload.

Like a bottle, all shook up,

Won’t make it to, a glass or cup.

Will only pop out, a huge mess,

Then what to do, start over, I guess?

Details | Quatrain | |


Chilly October has quickly brought in
another spirited, indelible Holloween;
allowing our witty and insane minds 
to plan the craziest, wildest things.

Witches, wizards, goblins and ghosts
all join in to give a bone-chilling night;
I put on a custom so dazzlingly white,
to scare anyone who laughs and boasts.

This ghost is never spoken of in any tale,
unknown by name, leaving no easy trail;
the only thing he does well is making sneers,
and send everyone scrambling with screams.

How frightened and pale these kids must really be,
when they cuddle up in their beds and can't sleep,
thinking of those spirits at their doorsteps;
lots of fun and delight at their expense...         

Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci

Details | Cowboy | |


Cowboys don’t fear the coyote, 
   he just yips and yowls, 
But the wolf is another story, 
   your blood chills when he howls. 
And a panther, will stalk you, 
   even in the dark, 
And a bear, when he catches you, 
   will tear you clean apart. 

The best thing about a snake bite, 
   is it kills you pretty quick, 
And those “under a rock crawlies”, 
   their bite will make you deathly sick. 
But the most vicious of the critters, 
   the one every Cowboy fears, 
Inflicts a type of torture, 
   that can leave grown men in tears. 

With a bite so excruciating, 
   it will make you wish that you were dead, 
And there’s nothing more terrifying, 
   than when it raises it’s ugly head. 
It attacks without warning, 
   it’s cold-hearted and just plain mean, 
It considers all men prey, 
   and will any one that’s seen. 

The suffering, is lingering, 
   and to this very day, 
There’s no cure or medication, 
   that can take the pain away. 
It’s just the size of a pin point, 
   and it don’t get much bigger, 
But I’ve seen Cowboys brought to their knees, 
   by the savage bite, of the Chigger.          

Details | Lyric | |


i feel you oozing out,
like a rollercoaser,
ima take you on a journey,
like a rollercoaster,
ima make you climax,
like a rollercoaster,
im not done yet,
this just begun

ima kiss and tease,
bring you down to your knees,
rub me, lick me,
you better aim to please

Details | Ballad | |


Blue was feeling melancholy and was far from feeling jolly 
by the window of his quarters on that moonlight night in May. 
The old mate was broken hearted since young Jess and he had parted: 
that’s the Jillaroo from Bancroft who had jilted him that day. 
And old Blue would really miss ‘er, as she was a bonzer kisser, 
and he told this to a large green frog perched on the window ledge. 
This poor Ringer quite horrid, as his hand held up his forehead, 
and he gave the frog the run down like it was some privilege. 
“Do you have a girlfriend, froggy,  that just leaves your mind all foggy 
when she puckers up to kiss you and she makes you feel on high? 
As a kisser Jess was real hot and I reckon by a long shot  
she was up there with the best of them … except perhaps for Di. 
“She’s the blonde girl that’s a Nanny, on the place where my mate Danny 
breaks in horses every summer, and a looker, that’s for sure.  
Mate, this Di she was a goer and I’m glad I got to know ‘er, 
as that girl could suck your lips off and she’d leave you wanting more. 
“But we broke up in the summer, which I thought was a real bummer, 
so I hitched up with her cousin who’d come out to stay a while. 
This gal was a city floozie and her name I think was Suzie 
and her tongue it darned near choked me, but she certainly had style. 
“Then she went back to the city, which I thought was a real pity, 
still, I met young Katie Swenson at the rodeo that night. 
Sucking face was that girl’s passion, but I soon went out of fashion, 
as I found she kissed near anything that came within her sight. 
“So it’s hard, mate, just to pick one that I fancied as the best fun, 
as they all bring back fond memories but they all slipped through my grip.” 
He just sat there quite dejected and it came quite unexpected 
when a moth alighted on the top of poor old Bluey’s lip. 

The frog’s tongue flew into action, but his aim was down a fraction 
and it rattled the old tonsils in the back of Bluey’s throat. 
The old Ringer’s eyes went teary and his sight went kind of bleary 
and the words that bushman uttered I’m afraid I cannot quote. 
To this day it’s told by bush folk and believe me, this is no joke, 
it is ritual when Bluey goes to town and hits the grog, 
that he tells the same sick story, how no girls can match the glory 
of that moonlight night in May when he was tongue-kissed by a frog. 

Details | Lyric | |

Insanity By Definition

FOR : Albert Einstein

Insanity:  Doing the same thing over & over again expecting a different result.

I’m writing something all the time,

Most the times, can’t help but rhyme.

There is nothing else I want to do,

Keeps me calm,  relax's me too.

I write things down, in my sleep,

Wake right up, 4 memory wont keep.

So when U read this from my book,

U’ll know I’m crazy, with just one look.

Cuz just like Albert Einstein said,

I’m insane crazy, in my head.

Details | Lyric | |

another wet Echo

There’s a raindrop hammer on a skylight pane
And it’s driving me insane
This nasty weather is a constant pain
Has it always got to rain
Someone has the answer
Ask a necromancer
Could it just be something fey
I don’t know the reason
Could it be the season
What a way to end the day
I always thought that if I fought and caught at that I sought
This madness in my hammered head would hide and slip away
Slow this clatter
Change the beat
Let the storm be kind
It’s really just a human race
The rhythm’s in my mind
Running on...........

The title's Ol' Scouse (and one of my favorites)

Details | Rhyme | |

Off The Road Again

Off the road again
Just our ATV's 
And some good friends
Hitting the trails 
And winding bends
Starting and Making
Some new and different trends
On our ATV's once again
Cleaning the mud and gunk
From our teeth that just blends
With our armor that continues to defend
The king of off road that just wants to send
A here's mud in your eye to all 
My good buddies and friends

Tribute To ATV's
Here's Mud In Your Eye   LOL

Love Kathy & Jenny
Maybe Next Song Too

Details | Ballad | |

Cruisin' With My Homies On Four Doughnuts

Love is not the answer to every issue out there 
There are choices brunettes, blondes or curly hair 
So we pile in my car to go check them out 
They look at us laugh and shout 
I'ts so obvious what's so funny, this really shows it 
Cruisin' with my homies on four doughnuts 
Three homies and I are burning some gas 
I am stressed, I just ran over some glass 
The tires stay firm, do not go flat 
You can't explain something like that 
Big Bertha asks for a ride, but with her weight, the car just won't hold it 
She will not be cruisin' with me and the homies on four doughnuts 
Stop at the store to get some brews 
Out of Colt 45 so the Bulls will have to do 
We catch a nice buzz, good enough to make me smile 
Fuel will be a concern in a few more miles 
After the beer, we combine our pocket change 
I payed for the beer and the gas, isn't that strange 
Girls can now be our main focus 
My tires are from a Ford, Chevy, Dodge and a Lotus 
It's always an adventure with me and the homies cruisin' on four doughnuts

Details | Lyric | |


   by Amy Swanson (c) May, 1998

(dedicated to every woman who's ever had one of these!)

Hey now Mr. Satin Sheets, you think you're so fine...
   wouldn't give you the time of day, here's the reason why:

You're a womanizer, pulverizer, think you're so sly,
   but let me tell you something honey - your heart is like ice.

You try so hard to hide, but it's easy to see,
   there's one little word you need to learn... it's L-O-V-E.

Now I don't care how sweet you talk, but honey it's your walk
   that would make me come around, and give you my heart,

but lately, what I'm seein' just ain't lookin' too good...
   it's evident to me, that your soul is like wood.

You think you've got my number, but you still need the dime;
   gotta know for certain boy, you'll never be mine.

You try so hard to hide, but it's easy to see,
   there's one little word you need to learn... it's L-O-V-E.

Now, I'll admit, you had me in circles for a little while, 
      and all it took, was just one look, and a sweet... smile.
          But, baby, I've been down this road before;
               I took the scenic route... but I'm not taking it anymore!

So baby...

     take your velvet talk and groovy lines too....
            I ain't playin' anymore, cause it ain't cool.

Said you'd give me the world, all I got was a lie - 
    You gotta know, there's just some things that money don't buy.

I was looking for love, but instead I found you
    It's my opinion honey, you don't have a clue.

You try so hard to hide, but it's easy to see,
    there's one little word you need to learn... it's L-O-V-E.

Yeah, you'll be cryin' baby, that's easy to see
    til you learn about that little word, L-O-V-E.

go on back to school, learn a few things
                                   don't come back to me.

Details | Free verse | |

Singing in the shower

I get up early in the morning
To take a bath, and as usual
I will train my voice, singing.

So, I turn on the tap 
And get into the shower;
The water is not hot, nor cold.

I mixed it in perfection; and 
It started slowly beating upon naked body,
Smoothly blending with my morning voice.

I sing a song, my own composition--- 
“All I Wanted To See”,
As I apply soap all over me.

After couples of minutes
Of self cleansing,
And I’m now into the final act.

I gather my strength, for the finale; bold
But as I took turn, my butt hit the knob to the right.
I ended the song, with a shivering; whaah….it’s too cold!

My breath’s gasping, and gasping;
But, wife did not even mind a thing,
For she thought it’s my normal sing.

Details | Lyric | |

Judicial Depression

I’m more motivated today,

Trying to find a simpler way.

To beat the judicial system,

Must appeal to someone’s wisdom.

That’s laughable to say the least,

As the judicial system, is quite the beast?

No easy way to start again,

As they’re in charge, of where and when.

They’re forcing me to run away,

I have no other place to stay.

All I want, is a productive life,

A new beginning, not all this strife.

Instead they, have dropped the ball,

And of course, blame me for all.

In response, all I can say,

“I’ve paid my dues, I want to stay”.

So now, again, I sit and wait,

Still a prisoner, this time of fate.

If left to them, and their discretion,

Will watch the system, and its regression.

Details | Burlesque | |

All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Doors!

yes, all I want for Christmas
is my 2 front doors,
my 2 front doors,
my 2 front doors...

yeah, all I want for Christmas
is my 2 front doors
my 2 front doors...
to replace the ones
broken in once more!

Santa comes down the chimney
But theives come thru my door
Breakin' in again this week
To see what is left to take anymore..

All that they will find,
shards of wood...
and doorknob lying on the floor
just remnants of what
was once...
my sturdy old front door...

Details | ABC | |


Get all your fashion tips here 
My fashion is in a higher gear 
Your fashion nightmares are over if you keep this in mind 
Just call the Queen of fashion at 1-800-SO-FINE 
The phone is already ringing off the hook 
To be honest , I will listen, but I would rather take a look 
Let me answer the first call of the show 
Why it's Bev Sanders from Ohio 
Yes, Queen I have a question concerning pink shoes 
Pink goes with any color, so you have nothing to lose 
Did that help your stress 
Yes, your advice was priceless 
Next caller, what's your dilemma? 
That is a first, I never have spoken to a female named Emma 
Yes Queen, where are the sales this week 
I can't help you there, because I want to keep looking chic 
Well I have to go, my stores are waiting 
Tomorrow I will tell which stores I shopped at and which one got the highest 
So tune in tomorrow with the Queen where fashion is my passion with the best 
Women don't dress better than me 
That's why you call, so I can keep you in line 
So put my number on your speed dial, 1-800-SO-FINE

Details | ABC | |

My Wig (

We leave on vacation to see the Grand Canyon 
I ask my son when is the last time ha changed his socks, his feet smell like 
My wife laughs and says that isn't his feet, it's his breath 
I tell her no more equate toothpaste, we're switching to Crest 
My wife says in a panicky voice, I forgot my social life line 
I tell her to calm down, everything will be fine 
She says, turn around and head toward home with the speed of a Russian Mig 
We can't take this trip, I can't be without my wig 
One hour and two tickets later we finally arrive back home 
Now she has her wig in hand and her voice has a nice, calm tone 
She says what are we waiting for, let's be on our way 
It's only 9:30am, it's already been a long, long day 
Now we are back to the area where we had to turn around 
I remember that singles club called Lost and Found 
As evening settles in, we stop by an eatery called The Autumn Twig 
She says please bear with me as I put on my wig 
My son and I sit in the car quietly, as we are close to death from a lack of food 
My wife tells us let's enjoy our vacation, you two need to adjust your attitudes 
We sit in the car and watch as people come out of this greasy spoon diner 
I keep reading their slogan, If you're lookin' for rib stickin' food ain't none finer 
I keep having these visions of me at the table, eating so much, my wife and son 
call me a pig 
Finally she is done fixing her wig 
I watch in horror as the Diner's lights go off 
My dream is gone, no pig, no trough 
She says in disgust, that's just great, where can we get a bite to eat now 
I tell her about a barbecue joint five up the road called Four Sides of a Cow 
She says okay, but I could not belive what she just did 
She smiles and says I told you everything will be okay, as she removes her wig 
We arrive outside the place rated as some of the best barbecue around 
She throws her wig on the dash and laughs like a circus clown 
She says my hunger has taken over, I believe she's flipped her lid 
She says let's go on inside, these people don't know me, they have never seen 
me without my wig

Details | Ballad | |


Rabbit was my turtle who never won a race
Red is my fish but he's blue in the face
And I love my pets but they do no tricks
So I play all day and sleep at night with my sidekicks

My sidekicks~ Wa! Cha!  My sidekicks~ Wa! Cha!
Sometimes we stand on bricks, play swords with sticks
Sometimes we have tools for fixin', lollipops for lickin'
But when it's time quit and switch, they're still my fav clique
My sidekicks~ Wa! Cha!  My sidekicks~ Wa! Cha!   (Chorus)

Smokey is my cat and I love him too
Got a little kitty, named her Crystal blue
And another fish in a bowl I call Fins
But they do no tricks, so I play with my sidekicks again

I got Teddy and Roy and my bulldog Bully
And at bath time I get to dunk my pal Sully
Then there's Croc but is he an alligator
And Fishy is orange, before I see you later
I gotta tell ya Mr. Duck is now Mr. Quacks
But my favs of all time is Tang Tang and Scratch

And though they're stuffed animals~ they do all the tricks
Like my play friend Jerry- they're my sidekicks


A Song for my son Caleb at age 4

Details | Rhyme | |

Hee Haw

                                             Hee Haw

                                             Hee Haw

                                    Come join Buck and Roy 
                                for some picking and grinning 
                                             for us all

                                             Hee Haw

                                             Hee Haw

                                    Now look at Junior and Lula
                                        Giving a big salute
                                   from the corn fields so tall

                                            Hee Haw
                                            Hee Haw

                       There goes Granpa Jone and String Bean
                                 Slapping their chest and knees
                             To a banjo and a harmonica's call

                                            Hee Haw

                                            Hee Haw

                                 Let's listen to Jim and John
                                    Sernading to the gals
                               of Kornfield's lumber shaw

                                           Hee Haw

                                           Hee Haw

                         Now don't forget about Minnie Pearl
                            and her straw hat with tag
                    swinging in the breeze from a yodel caw

                                          Hee Haw

                                          Hee Haw

                     Well folks it's time to wrap up this salute 
                          for all those who gave it their all
                        from the wacked out show known as 

                                            Hee Haw

                                            Hee Haw

Tribute To 
The Cast And Crew Of
Hee Haw

Thanks For The Laughs

Buck Owens

Details | I do not know? | |


Rumors are known to cut like knives
Start fights and end lives
All becauce a hater despises
What they've seen through their beedy eyes
Foulness covered by flies
Unknown demise
A demons chest game played with real lives
He said, she said, with a little bit of what you've said
Leaves some one dead
All from words that got in to some body head
Rising situations like to much yeast in a small batch of bread
Scared of the out come so you flee in your mind
Revisit the drama another time
Things don't change
Words still inflecting pain like magic BING! BAM! BANG!
Another rumor rapes a name
Heated like hells flames
Jealousy indures creating a killer like the first murderer Kane
Names lay slain
Slandered by the foulist of mouths
Skeletons pulled from the closet to be placed in piles
Brains began to crowd
Smiles now frowns
Ups now downs
Like tears from a clown
Emotions burst out
People lash out against the innocent
Whom have nothing to do with it
The hater wins again

Details | Ballad | |

Red Necks

The deer is a warm and fresh road kill
Will go good with the moonshine from your still
That red neck life style you will always have
Red Necks don't have to have a reason to be mad
You feel that on taxes you always get screwed
Hunting animals doesn't take a mood
Not accepting others for who they are
Gas guzzling huntin' trucks, there are no cars
Your baby never given a passy
Just a hunk of tobbacky
You spit your tobbacky juice in a mason jar
Fertilize the grass, so you empty it in the yard
A bathroom is where you make it
In the bed of your truck, you and your old lady got caught naked
You brag to the Reds at work about your latest run in with the cops
A few beers later, it's time to raid the Goodwill box
As a bona fide Red Neck it is your life's mission
To pass these quality traits to your son, it's a tradition
Red Necks in the south are a dime a dozen
Most marry their next of kin, usually their cousins
Support your local Red Neck, the bumper sticker reads
It fine print it's local chapter 233
In the parking lot outside your favorite bar
Friday night puking, too much PBR
Saturday morning fatback and beans
Coats the stomach, now you can drink
I cannot criticize Red Necks for living this way
What is normal in society these days

Details | Ballad | |

Ruby In The Sky With The Sandman

What would you do,
If I snored out of tune,
Would you dump a pail of water on me?

Lend me your pillow
And I'll snore you out a croon,
I will try to keep my snoring to me....

Ruby; I don't have a sandman,
but I do have two concrete users,
Rocco, and Vinny (Asphalt Vinny, they call him)
and I hear they're lookin' for me!

Details | Lyric | |

My Face

Skin cinnamon brown
What once was oval now is round

Almond shaped eyes with different color shades
Depending on what mood I'm in on that day

Nose just wide enough to fit my face
With a nose ring on the side, which for 13 years has held that place

White teeth and a nice smike filled with pleasentry
That same smile can quickly turn to a frown if you try to cross me

God made me original, there's no one else that looks like me
OH........except for that man and woman child of a butterscotch hue that happen to 
be my off spring!!

Details | Burlesque | |

Time For Tom's Christmas Carols pt.#1

"I Came Upon A Midnight Beer..."

I came upon a midnight beer
in my sleepwalkin' thirsty search...
In my glorious P.J.'s old...
My backside flap was ripped open...
But I did not feel the cold....

I popped the lid, and gulped it down,
And thought I heard angels sing....
"Let's go find another, my friend....
Cause this is the real deal thing!"

Details | Ballad | |

The Knight That Drove the Old Pixie Down

Virgin Brain is my name,
Served on the Disneyworld choo-choo
'Til my supervisor came,
and tore up my time card again...

In the summer of '95...
I joined the Templar Knights
Kind'a dig that kind of  jive....
By August the tenth,
My assignment to me had fell,
And it was one that would  lead me straight to hell...

The Knight I Drove the Old Pixie Down,
and tom bell was ringin'
The Knight I drove the Old Pixie Down,
and the children were singing,
The Knight Who Drove the Old Pixie Down!
They went; da, da, da, how friggin' dumb
da,da, da, your brain is numb
da, duh?, da, duh?, da, da, da!
da,  da, da, da, da, da, da....

Back in my tenement in Brooklyn,
When one day  a young cop did call me,
Virgin , come quick, you're wanted for robbery!!
Now I don't mind servin' time
But the food is no good,
Just be sure, the crime is mine...
Ya take the sentence given,
and ya gotta' serve your time..
But they never should
have taken...
My denim vest!

Like my mother before me,
I will work the ol' rockpile...
Like the guards above me,
I will seldom smile..
I was just dumb, stupid and niave
But the cops got me, so
they could save....
The little pixie I was stalking
Prepared to take her down,
And they got me just before
I was about to have found...
The nasty little pixie,
So evil and so sly,

No wonder someone had paid me,
To see that pixie die...

The Knight Who Drove Old Pixie Down,
The Knight Who Drove Old Pixie Down
And the stoolies were singin'
They went....Ya, ya, ya, he's guilty
Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya...

I swear by the ball and chain
On my feet
You can't release a con too soon....
When he's up for parole,
He'd have a better chance,
on the moon.....

Repeat chorus and fade...

Details | ABC | |

Intelligent Design

You claim to be on top of everything, if someone has done it, you have done it 
When it was cold, you said you knitted the entire workforce sweaters 
You sweep most people under the rug 
You are member of the Menza's exclusive club 
You tell Miss Betty why she was left behind 
Only the best were selected, part of the intelligent design 
You tell me I am dumb as a man can come 
But according to you I am not the only one 
You always have to make people feel insecure 
Then you wonder why when you approach they all steer clear 
I am wondering all the bridges you burn, is it worth the cost 
You live by the saying a rolling stone gathers no moss 
You try to be perfect as Miss 5-2-9 
You and your family are the foundation of intelligent design 
You always feel the need to shine 
You tell everyone you are the top of the line 
You are the main attraction at the show 
You can always tell everyone what they don't know 
If I conquered a hill, there are ten mountains you have climbed 
You will always claim it's intelligent design

Details | Lyric | |

Paid In Full

Sick and tired of incarceration,

Of going to jail 4 no damn reason.

I’ve done more time & litigation,

Probably covered most every season.

We clean & scrub 4 unfit grub,

We bust our ass, so time will pass.

We want to leave; we’ve paid our dues,

Can’t they see, debts paid times two.

Details | Ballade | |

Picking And A Grinning { Bluegrass}

                                            When we all get to Heaven
                                                 You may see me walkin'
                                              Here there everywhere
                                  For I'm just a blue ridge mountain boy
                             thumbing for a ride down a lonely banjo road
                        With old Joe Clark livin just' two doors down from me
                                         Leaning on the everlasting arms
                                          Of his sweet Tennessee Rose gal
                                                If teardrops were pennies
                                         I could buy two more bottles of wine
                                                 So  please Mr. Sandman
                                              I'm crying my heart out over you
                                                     For this is all I can do
                                          As I pick these bluegrass banjo blues
                                         From my Tennessee Mountain home roads
                                                           That I once knew

Just A Bluegrass song
working on  LOL

Details | Lyric | |

What It Be Like Bro

Arising early each morning
I glance toward you.
Asking myself this question
Can this be true?

Am I deserving
of this mess I see?
Can you not just once
be flattering to me?

You stare at me and
though declining to say.
I know you'll return
What I give you this day.

Though I'm complementing seeking
You're truthful with me.
Being painfully honest
as only you could be.

While pointing out flaws
as i shave and dress.
You also let me know
that my hair is a mess.

I just smile and wink
thinking this might work.
But your message to me
brush your teeth, you big jerk.

You're hard and critical
but come what may.
I'm the head of this house
I'll have the final say.

A flip of the switch
and I'm on my way.
Leaving you alone
to face the wall all day.

In reality, if I look so-so
or maybe a mess.
You always see and return
No more or no less.

As all others see me
to myself you will show.
For when facing a mirror
"That's what it be like Bro

Arising early each morning
I glance toward you.
Asking myself this question,
can this be true?

Am I deserving
of the mess I see?
Can you not just once
be flattering to me.

You stare at me and
though declining to say.
I know you'll return
what I give you this day.

Though I'm complement seeking
you're truthful with me.
Being painfully honest
as only you could be.

While pointing out flaws
as I shave and dress.
You also let me know
that my hair is a mess.

I just smile and wink
thinking this might work.
But your message to me
brush your teeth, you big jerk.

You're hard and critical
but come what may.
I'm the head of this house
I'll have the final say.

A flip of the switch
and I'm on my way.
Leaving you alone
to face the wall all day. 

In reality, if I look so-so
or maybe a mess.
You always see and return
no more or no less.

As all others see me
to myself you will show.
For when facing a mirror
"That's what it be like Bro."

Details | Lyric | |

Fun of Rush

Why rush me 
To rush up 
Your rushy job
When rushing 
To rush up
The rushy job
I was rushing.
To rush
So as to beat the rush?

Details | Free verse | |

A Song for Javon

Done a freep ninl baby, preez done a freep
Done a freep ninl baby, preez done a freep
Done a freep ninl baby, preez done a freep
Done a freep ninl baby, preez done a freep

Done a freep, done a freep, done a freep, done a freep
Done a freep ninl baby, preez done a freep.

(Repeat All)


Go to sleep little baby, please go to sleep
Go to sleep little baby, please go to sleep
Go to sleep little baby, please go to sleep
Go to sleep little baby, please go to sleep

Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep
Go to sleep little baby, please go to sleep

Details | Lyric | |


its a dam shame 
to be this fine
the judge told me
I gotta do the time
so i went to the studio
to spit sum lines
I stayed up late
from 1 to 9
im not gay
I dont go that way
I dont mind being friends
but I dont go that way
I got fellaz shook
when i write hot hooks
im doin it big
I even wrote my own book

Details | Lyric | |

Quicker Liquor Picker Upper

Oh, give me a shot of that whiskey
     My life makes me need it so much
So, give me a shot of that whiskey
     And quickly, because I’m in a rush

The liquor, when quicker, is thrilling
     The feeling I get is found ease
So, quickly I’ll drink without spilling
     Give me that shot right now, please

I have dollars a plenty to give you
     My money is quite good I’d say
I’ll tell you right now what to do
     Just leave me the bottle, I’ll pay

Give me a shot of that whiskey
     You know I can handle it well
For when I get drunk I get frisky
     So, if I’m with you please don’t tell

Details | I do not know? | |

Mama was an alien

my mama was an alien,
my daddy was an engineer,
and i was spawned
from the borg one morn
with keyboards in my ears,
in my eeeeearrs.

they call me the microsoft hacker,
once upon a pair of wires,
and i'm gooonne
[crack my numbers]
i wonder how your PC's feeln'
[ba ba ba baaaa]
scoot down the wires,
[crack my numbers]
i wonder how your PC's feeln'
[ba ba ba baa baa]

Details | Light Poetry | |

Crumb Cake

I've finally figured it out!
I really have!!
Why they call it crumb cake...
I should have known....
I was blind,
But now I see,
My wife Grace,
Told it to me!
Yes, It's amazing Grace...
Why it's called that...
It's because it tastes crummy.......

Details | Lyric | |

No Bait

I camped upon a stream so clear, by chance to catch some Trout. the bait I thought I'd brought along, I found that I'd left without. It really didn't matter though, that I could do no fishing. Its better to have gone and watched, than sat at home just wishing. Now the moral of this story is, don't sit at home and wish. And never leave your bait at home, when your going after fish.

Details | Lyric | |

all about me

everywhere i go
its like im walking runways
all eyes be on me
like christ on sundays
i aint gotta pray no moe
god lives next doe
i sit so high
i thought i letcha knoe
i am "what" ur not
thats a sure shot
theres no takin myspace
this is no parking lot
ima tell ya right nie
theres no testin me
if  ya all in my face
ima press delete
i careless about ya crew
and you too
if dem bit-ches wanna play
i'll delete dem too
yeah i know you mad
that im so hot
that im negative number 1
on tha bill board spot
i aint gotta blaze
i dont have to haze
but ur heat is temporary like microwaves
u in this race
u jogged while i ran
and yes sirrrr, i got  fans in the klan
i heard a rapper say somethin
that was real real cleaver
that he was the best rapper alive
but bit-ch im tha best ever

Details | Ballad | |

At Bubba's We Spent the Night

We take Bubba home to drop him off 
His father and mother come out, they begin to hack and cough 
His father extends his hand out to shake mine 
My wife says don't be rude, go ahead and shake it, I do so, his hand is covered 
with mucuossy slime 
After shaking his hand, I begin to gag 
The wife with no bra, smiles and hands me a Save A Lot shopping bag 
She takes a swig from her 32 oz brew 
Then offers it to my wife Sue 
I say come on, it is your turn to show manners now 
As she takes a swallow, I watch her face, the expression looked like she was 
trying to give birth to a cow 
Bubba asks his father if we can all stay the night 
The father says fittin' us all in one bedroom will be very tight 
I tell him we will sleep in the kitchen near the back door 
He says pay no mind to critters on the floor 
I ask where is the toilet, I have to go 
He says out back, you're in luck, I just dug a fresh new hole 
I think to myself, this is not the way life should be 
A night at Bubba's I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy 
At 3 am, they are in the kitchen stepping over us getting snacks 
We are offered each a bowl of that famous soup called fatback 
Bubba yells I want my box of cupcakes 
His mom hands a pack of Reelfoot pork hot dogs and says for goodness sakes 
He devours them as if he was in a hot dog eating contest 
Bubba says, after I eat my cupcakes, that will tie me over so I can rest 
A little after 4, Bubba gets his fill 
After breakfast, we were told we can leave on our own free will 
After trying some rocky mountain oysters, it is time we leave 
The dad says we would love to come and stay with y'all on New Year's Eve 
I tell him until 2040 we have plans 
He says that's fine that will give them enough time to collect some aluminum 
We move to another state with no forwarding address 
Never again putting ourselves in that kind of mess

Details | Ballad | |

My Sweatshop

We open at 5 and close at sunset 
I expect a lot of production, I provide water and towels for sweat 
A complimentary lunch that comes in a can 
There is a choice of ham or turkey made from SPAM 
They love the conditions, so they don't want to stop 
I have many benefits owning my own sweatshop 
I have people making jeans and shoes 
My business, by the Department of Labor has been approved 
One girl is pregnant, but not by me 
Her parents put the blame on Cathy Lee 
Now another 16 hour shift has ended 
Immigration came through, my business license has been suspended 
They say I am the cause of tax evasion 
Oh well, I have enough money, time for a vacation 
I ask Cathy lee to meet me at the New Haven Truck Stop 
I need expert advice on how to run a sweatshop 
She has given me the advice I need 
She said don't use cotton, save money by switching to tweed 
She also said lower their wages 
For defiant workers, provide empty cages 
It all comes down to making your business the cream of the crop 
I got advice from the expert on how to run my own sweatshop

Details | Lyric | |

Life's Lessons

Every lesson earned
Should be a lesson learned
Some lessons hard
Some not so bad
Some have made you laugh
Other's have made you sad
Through it all, you should live, learn and grow
The book "A Journey of Life's Lessons" (short stories in poetic form of inspiration 
and self reflection)
 by C.L.Givens. It will have contents pertaining to you or someone you know
Check it out at 
Buy it for yourself or for a loved one

Peace & Blessings

Details | Lyric | |

Lifes An Ocean

For Anne

Life 4 me, is like an ocean.

To be knocked down, a normal motion.

Get back up, waves knock me down.

I try again, & I nearly drown.

Won’t give up, it’s part of life.

Would not feel right, without the strife.

Can try to take an easier way.

But F.Y.I., the waves will stay.

So take a note, this is my gift.

Go with the flow, ya get my drift?

Details | I do not know? | |

swallow your pride

you life,
is so far ahead
but your strife
is now dead

you want,
now to step aside
but it haunts
to swallow your pride

let it be free
let it all see
that the truth is into the sea

you just reprise
that it may be unwise
this is somthing you dont want to be

so swallow your pride
just swallow your pride
and dont let it hurt inside

let your pain go 
let it go slow 
and then you just wont know

now give it a try.......Swallow your pride!!!

Details | Lyric | |

ay mamacita

ay mamacita
ay ay ay mamacita
ay mamacita
ay ay ay mamacita

ay mamacita
wats yo name
the way you walk
yo butt keep switchin lanes
im lovin yo smile
girl you actin fowl
the way you drop it low
down to the ground

i like your features
and the way you dance
i wanna know ya 
i wanna be ya man
we can take it slow
i can be ya friend
the pleasure is mine
just dont recline (hey)

ay mamacita
ay ay ay mamacita
ay mamacita
ay ay ay mamacita

i like the way you roll
burberry clothes
you look kinda young
sixteen years old
it dont matter
i wanna get together
heres my digits
you can call m later

after the club
you can come on over
we can sit and talk
all on my sofa
you gonna open the door
so i can greet ya
in the dark hole
where i can feed ya

ima slither on in
then take it out
ima push it back in
juice oozing out (oh)

ay mamacita
ay ay ay mamacita
ay mamacita
ay ay ay mamacita

Details | Lyric | |

It's Funny

It's funny the way you walk
You past me by
You saw me there just now
But you pretend that you were blind

It's funny that you never talk to me
And it was as if I don't exist anymore
I thought we were used to talk so much
I guess you were not the one like before

It's funny that you ask me once to help you
But it was only for a while
The next day I said hi
But you did not say anything and walk by

It's funny the way you talk
You laughed at your friends when they joked
But you never laughed at mine
I felt like I want to blow

It's funny how you want to be famous
I was standing watching you struggle there
And if that one fine day comes
I can see your face everywhere

It's funny that we don't see each other
We liked to do things together
But things had changed lately
You just make things more harder

It's funny how we are so apart
Not to mention you ignore my messages i sent
I wonder if you still remembered all the things I'd done
But I guess you don't understand

It's funny that I don't care
I don't want to wait for you
I don't want myself to suffer because of this
And now, I don't like you

Details | Free verse | |


Some people are wealthy
Some people are healthy

Some people are sick
Some people are fit

Some people are nice 
Some people are wise

Some people are efficient
Some people are intelligent

Some people are loyal
Some people are social

Some people are busy
Some people are lazy

Some people are worthy 
Some people are sturdy

Some people are seekers
Some people are speakers

Some people are frantic
Some people are romantic

Some people are stylish
Some people are childish

Some people are pious
Some people are studious

Some people are capable 
Some people are lovable

Some people are moody 
Some people are steady

Some people are cheerful
Some people are careful

Although people are of different types
They all have equal rights.

Details | Lyric | |

Money Grabber

Do you know how to use your brain?
Cost is only a pound just sit in a train.
Do you know what your fortune is?
Cost is only a pound to choose a fan.

Before to declare a name of your friend,
You need a gift cost is one pound a man.
You need a place reserve for a meeting,
Cost is only a Pound otherwise you are ban.

You need a glass of beer to talk to her,
Cost is a pound if you want to buy a can.
If you want to walk to enjoy a trip,
A pound for umbrella to secure you from rain.

You are very lucky we can’t offer more,
Come back again you are a person main.
We have a good service tell to your friend,
We used our mind for money grabber chain.

Details | Rhyme | |

The Stove

I look to the good for you
I cook the food for you
I’m made of brass
I run on gas
For your aims
I have the flames
For making the tea
You rely on me
Breakfast gets ready for you
I’m so steady for you
I make the lunch for you
I also make the brunch for you 
You always have a nice dinner
Well prepared by my hot burner 

Details | Ballad | |


She came to me by air
Milky white skin, long blonde hair
She promises me I will never be lonely again
I have her to love, I have a best friend
We shall never argue over petty things
With her there, the house will always be clean
Then one day Dana shows up at my front steps
Petite young lady, green eyes and a brunette
I realize by the end of the day
Madeline would just be in the way
That evening, I show Madeline to the door
I tell her I don't love her anymore
The next morning I realize what I have done
When I chose Dana over Madeline, I chose the wrong one
I leave Dana at the house to go find Madeline
While searching for her, I tell myself, this can't be the end
After days of searching, I find her in a second hand store
I approach to convince her, she's the one I adore
The looks I get as I give her a hug and a kiss
As I tell of my favorite things and she is at the top of the list
So we leave together to go back home
A bottle of wine, steak and disconnect the phone
Today I have to send both lovelies back to prostatic friends and lovers 
Dana will not return to me, to get a refund for her has made me frustrated
However, Madeline will be refurbished and returned to me like new
My Madeline, blonde hair and eyes of crystal blue

Details | I do not know? | |


Amazing armor apparels
An amazing apparatus
Appearing and ascending
Above all aimless attics
All are attics
After assigning apparent actions
Amongst atmospheric allies…also
Assembles and annexes an anecdote
Animals also assemble and apprehend
Any available areas
Alert and aware about alternatives,
Apportionment among animals are
Actually awesome.

Details | Lyric | |

i only wanna

i only wanna go to popeyes
i like to eat the biscuit and fries
and the chicken so spi-ccccy, or mild,
so spi-ccccy, or mild

Details | Lyric | |

Starbucks Sucks

What’s so grand?
It’s just another trend
And unlike every other friend,
I refuse to give in
Oh, okay, so it’s gourmet
I don’t care what you call it
I refuse to allow them
to sit here and rape my wallet
Why does a tall look so small?
There’s nothing grand about it at all
Starbucks simply sucks

Details | Light Poetry | |

Take Me Out

Take me out to the Brawl-game
Take me out where it's loud
Buy me some ammo and some crack,
I don't care, who we attack
Cause it's Roto-Rooter for the losers,
We'll flush them right down the john
Cause it's fire one!
Fire two!
Fire three!
And your out,
Of this old brawl game!

Details | ABC | |

Medusa's Brother

Girls look in your direction and see you comin' 
In the opposite direction, they start runnin' 
You claim you are in excellent shape 
Your face is a train wreck and you cinch in your gut with electrical tape 
You drive a Yugo, it's color is Slime Green 
You say you are just over run with bling bling 
How can you claim you have the perfect life 
You are married to an inflatable wife 
Women look at you and begin to cuss as they run for cover 
Somebody spray painted a name on the car, it reads Medusa's Brother 
You have no clue why everyone calls you M B 
You believe they are saying M D, you think it's short for Mac Daddy 
You wear your favorite tee shirt that reads World's Greatest Lover 
In the females eyes you will always be Medusa's Brother 
Well M B, for you there is some bad news 
You will always be singing the lonely man's blues 
You have asked M TV to pimp your ride 
They can fix your car but your face you can't hide 
You say well, I guess it's true, a man's best friend is his mother 
But did occur to you, your mom also calls you Medusa's Brother

Details | Ballad | |

Big Bad Mama

I'm the woman behind the man behind the wheel
Let's Giddy -Up-Go My phantom 309
Give me forty acres Eighteen wheels And a dozen roses
For this is a trucker's last ride Eastbound Westbound
Let's start us a Convoy I know there's a love story
in the making under the bright Kansas City lights
Roll on Big Mama This is your Teddy Bear from
the old home filler up and keep Cafe 
Just put the hammer down and 
let's see how fast them a trucks can a go
For Mama knows the highway And the girl
on the billboard too Rolling past on a trucking cafe
With my big wheels in the moonlight Rolling me
away from you For I'm a truck driving Mama
Looking for someone else I once knew

                           { Over and I'm Goneeee }    LOL

Tribute To
Our Truckers
Of The Roads

Also a song 
again working on  lol

Details | Ballad | |

Bootycyze Me

You've got it going on, you're packin' the heat 
in your trunk is a sweet, sweet treat 
As you walk on by, the boys break their necks 
With your shake, rattle and roll, you've passed my test 
Is your mother like you, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree 
Give me few moments of your time Bootycyze Me 
Let's take a stroll in the park sometime 
You walk ahead, I'll walk behind 
Tell me profile, give me your 4-1-1 
Let's get together, you have the equipment for fun 
You have a enough backside, you can share with me 
Up close or at a distance, I like what I see 
Give me a few moments of your time, Bootycyze Me 
You are smokin', so red hot 
All the girls ask what she got that I ain't got 
A word to the old, a word to the wise 
You will know it when you've been Bootycyzed 
Cassanova, Prince Charming and Don Juan, I am all three 
Give me a few moments of your time, Bootycyze Me 

Details | Lyric | |

its on

its on
and you know its on
we got it goin on
aint nobody goin home
its on
and you know its on
i got the club bumpin
everybody groovin

i doodle like a rooster
glide like a bird
when i walk
i make tunes ya neva herd

its on
and you know its on
we got it goin on
aint nobody goin home
its on
and you know its on
i got the club bumpin
everybody groovin

im on tha dam stage
tearin up tha mic
spittin hot ryhms
like Tina and Ike

i got money on my mind
its time to go
to the next hot spot
makin that doe
its a bird
its a plane
yea its me pha sho
flyin to the next club
to do a show

Oh no
i see this girl maxcine
she have a big booty
i never seen
from the left to right
i see the fellaz eyez gleem
she can recruit her own 
football team

I do tha lean
everybody scream
when the beat kicks in
everybody scream
from the left to the right
everybody lean
everybody scream

its on
and you know its on
we got it goin on
aint nobody going home
its on
and you know its on
i got the club bumpin
everybody groovin

people overseas
singing my song
I even got it on my ringtone

its on
its on
its on, its on

its on
its on
its on, its on

its on
its on
its on, its on

yeah, you know we got it goin on

Details | ABC | |

Inside Jane

She's the finest one I have ever seen 
She requires a bath, but can't handle the Afro Sheen 
She is high maintenance, which I don't mind 
She receives complements from time to time 
There is something special about her, I just can't explain 
It always excites me when I'm inside Jane 
She is long and sexy, a real lady to me 
And everyone that meets her does agree 
No other can compare 
With all my friends she is shared 
She was expensive, I paid an outrageous price 
She's my pie, but I don't mind you having a slice 
I own her, she is my property 
She has demonstrated unswerving loyalty 
I think I will change her name to Candy Cane 
I control the heat inside Jane 
She is getting up there in age, I may soon have to replace her 
The next lady I buy, I will call her Jennifer 
After my use of her last time I discovered a stain 
Came from a dog that wasn't properly trained 
I apologized to her and asked her not to be mad 
She has been the most loyal one I have ever had 
She is more than eager to entertain 
What? Cut the dirty thoughts, she's my private plane

Details | Lyric | |

Night Noises

of a summers night.
Can't be a lawnmower overhead,
must be an ultra light?

Booming bass woofers,
from a cruising car.
With its ground shaking sound,
I wonder can it be far?

A barking dog,
probably something up a tree.
A neighborhood cat perhaps,
should I go see?

An ambulance,
screaming from down the block.
As I count twelve strikes, 
on our grandfather clock.

A backfiring car I hear,
or maybe a gun.
I've only two more hours,
before the rising sun.

From the lack of sleep,
I'm a nervous wreck.
Shall I go to work?
awh what the heck.

Details | Ballad | |

Sittin' On the Doc of the Bay

Left my home in Jamaica,
headed for the Hampton Bay
I had no medical insurance,
Looked like none was gona come my way

So I'm just sittin' on the Doc. of the Bay
Wishin' health would flow my way
Just sittin' on the Doc of the Bay,
Wasting rhyme........

I came down with nasty shingles
My skin was try'in to crawl away,
I went to this Doc. in Hampton
He was more than odd, I must say

He wanted to bleed me with a leech
Then dye my hair with bleach
I thought this was mighty weird
To understand it would be a reach

I sensed I was in danger,
This turkey had a lesson to teach
So I threw him with Ju-Jitsu speed
and down he went
 His pride I did breach

Then I sat upon his sore old body
Waitin' for the cops to come,
If jail was my destination,
I would sure feel the bum
So reflectively I sat there,
And even started to whistle and hum

Just sittin' on the Doc of the Bay,
Wishin' this day would go away,
Just sittin" on the Doc of the Bay
Ready to serve time.............

Details | Lyric | |

Pile It On

Is the storm over yet,
my head is ready to split,
one thing, and then the other,
I'm ready to get back under the cover.

I am ready to say, pile it on,
why not, my stomach is in a knot,
everyday something new,
mercy, mercy, what do I do?

Day in, and day out, here you go again,
running your head, facing you is my 
biggest dread, you must be totally
brain dead, or you just don't care.

Details | Lyric | |

I Don't Need It!

I’m at my wit’s end
The molecular formulas
the electron configurations
are killing all sensations of living that I ever had
A seemingly unbeatable force
backed by that foe from the East
as he manipulates and propagates this vicious cycle of ill-instruction
in which he tests the knowledge of that which is never taught
I find myself caught in this trap
I’m wrestling with pages of notes
all while in desperate need of a nap
Why do I need to know how oxygen bonds to carbon
in order to diagnose an illness?
Or in order to tell if a bone is broken or not?
I don’t!
That’s just it!
All of this mindless, structural knowledge, I don’t need it!
Once I’m in the true school of higher-learning,
where I’ll get the real tools to future success
I’ll forget it all
in order to learn what I really need to know
so that I may help my fellow man

Details | Lyric | |

I Am Who God Made Me

I am who God made me
That’s all I have to say
If you have any compliments or complaints
all you have to do is pray

Details | Couplet | |

I Don't Have to Get Over You

What’s that you’re saying?
You say that I should get over you?

Well, honey, I don’t have to get over you!
We’ve broken up and I am a mess
You can’t handle that I guess
You say that since we are through
I should just get over you!

I don’t have to get over you!
I’m kinda enjoying being blue
You say I should find somebody new
I don’t have to get over you!

I’m getting into crying myself to sleep
It cleanses the soul when you weep
My friends give me all this special attention
Whenever your name they happen to mention
Walking the floor is good for my heart
I have lost weight since we’ve been apart
Saving money on groceries, too
No, I don’t have to get over you!


My mama calls me nearly every night
She is worried about me alright
She can’t stand seeing her baby this blue
I am her favorite, now that we’re through
What? What did you just say?
You’ve decided to come home to stay
Well baby, I hate to do this to you
But you better get over me, too

I don’t have to get over you!
I’ve kinda enjoyed being blue
I went out and found somebody new
Now, I don’t have to get over you!

Details | Senryu | |

Days of Our Lives (Senryu)

On their wedding day
“The Days of Our Lives” was played
Congregation laughed

© Joseph, 9/20/07
© All Rights Reserved

I wrote this while attending a wedding.  This is serious! lol!  The traditional or 
classic Japanese senryu format has three lines:  the first has 
five syllables, second has seven syllables and the third five syllables.  The 
pattern is 5/7/5 for a total of seventeen syllables. The senryu is generally about 
an emotional expression.

Details | Lyric | |

Bittersweet City of Pain

The darkened city
fades in the background
just like you wished your feelings would
It’s been a long year
longer than you’d like to live
It’s hard to forget
how things were
just a few months ago
And it’s hard to remember
how things were before
It’s funny how
how quickly people change
It’s funny how
how quickly she could change
And it’s funny how
how things never stay the same
And it’s funny how
She promised Heaven
but gave as much Hell as she could
Finally woke up
to see the stinging truth
To see the lies
in her empty smiles
Finally woke up
to hear the burning truth
To hear the emptiness
in her “I love you”s
Finally woke up 
to feel the death she dealt
To feel the coldness in her heart
The new year is coming
but will this one finally become the past?
A would-be anniversary
spent in nostalgia and depression
Amnesia is a blessing
you would gladly accept
to escape this fate
You’d trade a fortune
to erase the misfortune
she gave to you
You’d trade a fortune
to erase the time
she spent with you
You’d trade a fortune
to have her fall in love with you
like you thought she did before
But she’s long gone
and fading behind you
She’s in the city
but she’s still on your mind
If you could just leave your thoughts
in her apartment
you surely would
For now it’s so long bittersweet city of pain
Maybe you’ll be back 
when all your thoughts of her
have been washed away with the rain

Details | Ballad | |

Old Tucker Brown

Old tucker brown wanted to
Go fishing,
He sat and planned his day
Of activity,
He got his fishing gear, with
His rubber boots in hand,
“Oh my gosh”
It is pouring cats and dogs,
Maybe a Cadillac,
At the most, do not know the
For the clouds were so very
At least he thought it was,
You could see his anticipation
As he looked out the window
The excitement aroused as
A rainbow appeared..
He cried out…
With a big yell..
While the wind cease to
Clouds dissipated over the little
Fishing pond..
Down the hill….
Well now, it stop  pouring cats
And dogs..
Therefore, he kept the Cadillac, which
Color I do not know..
“Oh My Lordy”
Indeed, it is a miracle for the big
Guy, seen fit to pour him out a
Coffee color Cadillac,
Four door Deville…
A platter of catfish and the
Even a shrimp or two
My God, who can ask for
Anything more,
Except for me a pearl color
I wish…
But the story is about old
Tucker Brown...

Details | Lyric | |

cant stop now

on dubs, on my way, to the club
cadillackin all the fellaz showin lov
ice tea in the lac
yeah im drinking that
all my girls in the back
yeah they looking phat

walk up in the club
lookin real fly
smoke scene
i walk through
i caught ya eye

ice cream
yeah they know i have nice things
bam boom
bada bing
i make ya eyes gleem

no we wont stop
no we wont stop
we can not stop
we can not
"hell no"
repeat 5x:

we up in the club
where i do my damn thang
playing the cuts
dj playin the bang
fellas on the side
i make ya get a high
got a taste of my love
without stickin inside

instrumental break:

no we wont stop
no we wont stop
we can not stop
we can not
"hell no"

on the flo
you like the way i twork that
when in fact
you not gon get to hit that

its like a dice
cuz you shakin all in yo pants
dont raise yo hands
cuz im not gon letcha stick it in

got it lock in the club
where its gettin hot
we at the best of the best
we at the hot spot

Details | Lyric | |


In the rearview recesses
I spy crestfallen stresses
Binding might tugging my lift
When I grasp your tiny hand
I plunge into that quicksand
Until my breath begs to drift

Once the daylight fades away
I won't miss that solar play
Since we dance in lethal night
Lost in our covert nexus
Ghouls taunt my solar plexus
One spark shall flare to ignite

As we torch that powder keg
Shrapnel penetrates my leg
Just as I get ripped apart
You stay immune to the blast
While my head goes flying past
Sift carnage to find my heart

He still pulses in your palm
Singing his percussive psalm
Even after duty fails
Stuff that muscle in your bag
Time to call your friends to brag
Celebrate your love travails

Once your festive delight dies
Tell me all that you despise
Severed ears heed your harangue
I may be goo on the wall
Yet I'm not concerned at all
Since I went out with a bang

Details | Lyric | |

Queen Of Contraban

For:  Deputy Anderson / G.C.D.C.

I am a pro, she told me so,

That I’m a sneak, stuff has 2 go.

Said:  “I can’t help my knack 2 plan”,

Cuz I am “Queen Of Contraband”.

I try to be a good inmate,

The things I do, R not 4 hate.

I hope she know, I ‘m really not mad,

But being locked up, is so (F’n) sad.

I really try, to follow the rules,

Just that, in my mind, I must make jewels.

It keeps me real, to fool “THE MAN”,

Cuz I am “Queen Of Contraband”.

Details | Lyric | |

get wild

get wild
get down
all the ladies drop it down to the ground
get wild 
get loose
all the ladies shake yo kaboos

now step to the flo
and do the tootsie roll
drop it low
and bend ya back on the pole

now turn off the lights
naw turn them back on
i see a fine dizzle
with a tight dress on
close the door and report to th floor
close your eyes, ima dance between
ya thighs
makin it hot,doin what ya heart desire
makin it hot,makin it hot like fire

lets mingle
are you single
if you are
lets make a hit jingle

get wild
get down
all the ladies drop it down to the ground
get wild
get loose
all the ladies shake yo kaboos

when the beat kicks in
everybody scream
get wild, get loose
everybody scream

Details | Lyric | |

relax your mind

relax your mind
cause its about that time
tonite we bump and grind
we cant waste no time

boy im feelin you
im hungry for you
if you do it right
a sista, might cook for you

plz dont say a word
im takin over (yeah) "word"
ima take it slow
up and down
i grind real slow

you climbing up the stairs
until ive reached my peak
you plugged real deep
then you erupted me

creme filin, oozin
my mind im, losin
i like the way you take control
this feelin-taken over me

relax your mind
cause its about that time
tonite we bump and grind
we can do it all night

relax your mind
cause its about that time
tonite we bump and grind
we cant waste no time

Details | ABC | |

My Cerification

I've worked hard to have my franchise 
I am surrounded by bleach blondes with green eyes 
I was no homecoming king, I received no coronation 
Please take a stab at my certification 
I don't study the existence of life 
I am a working man, no time for a wife 
My certification is not a Biologist 
No study of the mind, I am not a Psychologist 
I've gone to the school of hard knocks 
My business covers many city blocks 
Every night is a celebration 
I have yet to tell you my certification 
I don't like Dinosaurs, I am not a Paeleontologist 
I can't put anyone in a trance, I am no Hypnotist 
My education is from up and down the streets 
I am not on doughnut patrol, I don't walk a beat 
I am definitely not into Claymation 
Are you still in suspense about my certification? 
I am no womanizer looking for a tryst 
You can scratch an actor off your list 
I am no Polar Bear coming out of hibernation 
Soon I will reveal my certification 
I am not into sports, I am no Analyst 
My work is tax free, I don't have to deal with the I.R.S 
I have no fruit baskets on a sofa, I am not a Psychiatrist 
I will now tell you, I am a Pimpologist 
Now that you know, keep in mind how much dough I make 
No cheap wine, no pot pies, just champagne, shrimp and steak 
Constant growth, all women are welcome to become part of an industry leader 
Most of my women come from men who are wife beaters 
I hook my women up with my patented 201k plan 
I am the CEO, I am the man 
5-2-9 can give you my specifications 
5-2-9 helped me achieve my certification

Details | Lyric | |

Human Rights

Sit In here, in my own stink,

Can’t fit my head, in my sink.

They let U out, when they want,

Most of them, will even taunt.

I ask to bathe, she say: “Maybe”

“If I have time”, how they play me.

But a showers not a privilege,

This is no way, 4 humans 2 live.

All I want, is 2 be clean,

Clean shirt & socks, don’t be so mean.

I’ll do my time, wont put up fights,

Just let me have my Human Rights!!!

Details | Free verse | |

Willy-Fred, Willy-Fred

Willy, don't be silly...
As for Fred, check your head,
Once again, you got things
all wrong,
I wasn't writting poetry,
nor out to steal a song...
I do get the feeling,
Your disdain for me is strong,

That's okay,
I gotta say,
No loss in disbelief,
But don't question me,
Cause you don't know
If I were a lyrical thief,
What if I did write those
And held the copyright too,
And let others record them,
You think other, I might do?

So check out the copyright credits,
And wake me when you're through,
Cause as for your snide comments,
I've heard enough from you.

Details | Lyric | |

kiss my wowsers

chauvinistic piglet
you and your niglets
can try it for free, 
my butt cheeks,
you can kiss it
im not finish
no thats not it
ima let them know
you aint about shhh
44 years of age
and still dont have shhh
get yo life together
before i call you mr it
lick between my cracks
and swollow my shhh 

Details | Lyric | |

Dissecting A Speck

Though small its size it offers no resistance, No matter it's diameter at given hour of day. And should division come at your insistence, A speck just gets smaller, never going away. No matter its division, its start it retains, Though diminishing beyond ability to see. A remnant of that speck always remains, If you don't behold it, can it no longer be?

Details | Lyric | |

The Poisonous Snake

You dangerous viper go away
and leave me on my own.
You are a lion and a thief,
trying to steal God's throne.

You shook your fist in anger.
You rebelled against your King.
Someday, Satan, you will pay
for causing me this suffering.

God is angry, Rightfully so.
His creations have turned away.
But his children will rejoice
on the day that Satan pays.

Details | Ballad | |

Rollin' In My Pacer

My girl dumped me, she couldn't hack it 
She said it was her or my fake leather jacket 
We were together for 30 days 
This jacket has cozied up to six Shaneyneys 
Judy is my next target, so now I will have to chase her 
I am the Mac Daddy rollin' in my Pacer 
Camielle comes along and tempts my fate 
Judy is now off the slate 
Women need to use more self control 
I am too much, I am hard to hold 
Tomorrow there will be another one in line 
I will not mess with her if she looks like the bride of Frankenstein 
My dad is stressed, he's really working his pacemaker 
I take him to the hospital, he's riding shotgun in my Pacer 
The hospital will keep him over night 
I buy some Mad dog 20/20, it's time to get tight 
I am called the next day to pick him up 
I tell him no ride, if you don't have a lid for that cup 
I get pulled over for a sobriety test 
The cop tells me I don't look my best 
He makes me walk the long straight line 
Then count forwards and backwards between 1 and 9 
He tells me my car is so ugly, he's got to shoot me with his tazer 
After the jolt I am allowed to leave steady rollin' in my Pacer

Details | ABC | |

Get Your 4-1-1 From 5-2-9

I am the authority on any question you may ask 
But be prepared, because I know I've already completed that task 
You ask me which pet is better, a dog or a cat 
Read my latest article about the care of all animals, called Been There, Done 
Don't try to outcook me, I graduated at the top of my class in Culinary School 
Put your money on the table, I know I can beat you at pool 
When I drive, I demand complete silence, I don't want any distractions 
Computer programs, accounting, I've used every kind of database, done every 
kind of financial transaction 
Don't argue with me, because I will win 
Everyone tells me they wish I had a twin 
You want to know about raising children, ask me about mine 
I strongly reccomend you get your 4-1-1 from 5-2-9 
You women need to break your men down 
There is no king of the castle in my house, I wear the crown 
I may be a little proud of what all I've done 
I know it is far more than anyone 
If you want to know about cars and their care 
I can tell you about dealerships I have fixed when and where 
You cannot tell me anything that hasn't already happened to me 
I keep a crystal ball to foresee 
During an African Safari, my sister went into labor, I delivered my niece 
I rode with Gypsies on the islands of Greece 
I had to tell Eugene, supposedly an experienced detailer, how to make the tires 
The secret is out, sorry Eugene, now they know you got your 4-1-1 from 5-2-9 
I won an argument with an astronomer about the solar belt 
I was given extra chips at a casino because I pointed out to the manager how the 
cards were dealt 
I've given advice to a couple about horses and their unpredictable ways 
I told a fishing boat captain, how and when to enter Biscayne Bay 
Through it all, I find people and force them to listen to me 
Where is Gabrielle, oh, she's eating lunch and my nose is snotty 
People love me for all the great knowledge I possess 
But I have one rival, I must confess 
She is at 1-800-SO-Fine 
She cannot top me for you 4-1-1 from 5-2-9

Details | Lyric | |



Sometime, Glory will come to me and say,

«I am sure you have waited for me a long time!

Meet me now, as though I am an important visitor.»

Glory will sprawl and lounge in my armchair

and will laugh self-satisfiedly.

Well, if that will happen,

I shall answer her quite politely:

«Yes, I waited for you, of course.

I want to be familiar with you,

maybe even a favorite.

But why are you so ill-bred and tactless?

You have sprawled in my armchair as if you own it,

and you mock me!

Glory will close thin lips,

will frown, and her eyebrows will close together.

She will take back all gifts from me!

Madam Glory, I did not want to be rough with you,

but you are not free-of-charge!

You required too big a fee

of bitter pain and nerves in pressure.

Sometime, Glory will come to me and say...

Details | Lyric | |


it's still a mystery
unsolved-thats me
triplethreat-thats me
no one cant compete
knockin down doors
you bowin down to my feet
im not gon stop
and i dare u hattas knock me
cause when i fall
you'll be still be lookin up to me

Details | ABC | |

Ho of the Year

I worked hard to achieve my goal 
I moved to the south to avoid the snow 
I've been keeping track on my graph 
I look at my competition and start to laugh 
My closest competition lives five miles from here 
Now it's my turn to be ho of the year 
My pimp is always bragging to the pimps union 
He says he's never seen such a young ho whose career is already bloomin' 
Tomorrow is my day off, but I want the overtime 
Heck, as a ho I still haven't reached my prime 
I will now have ten vacation days to use when I want 
To get where I am, you have to flirt and flaunt 
The final results are still unclear 
I'm dying to know if I am the ho of the year 
My pimp tells me there is a new ho in town 
She wears one of those stupid little hooker purses, I let her know it's too late for 
her this time around 
My pimp says he will put her under my care 
I tell him she's my competition, and give him a glare 
He smacks me with an open hand across the face 
He tells me, that was to put you in your place 
He says don't ever forget I am in charge, I want that clear 
A crowd comes out, he hugs me and says congratulations you were chosen as 
ho of the year 
I am awarded a trophy, flowers and a golden crown 
I am given the night off a limo to take me to the luxury hotel downtown 
They have reserved me the presidential suite 
It will feel good to be off my feet 
I tell the driver I want to stop for some beer 
I will get drunk and celebrate a lifetime achievement as ho of the year