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Lyric Depression Poems | Lyric Poems About Depression

These Lyric Depression poems are examples of Lyric poems about Depression. These are the best examples of Lyric Depression poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Ballad | |

This Song is for my Mother

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
I couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
A song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created and cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Memory of a mother
Shared my dreams and really cared

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Mama…
I know I wasn’t there……

For you

Would have placed 
A magic carpet 
‘neath your weak and shaky legs

Would have raised
A strong west wind
Let you breathe with ease again

Would have bribed 
God’s venal angels
Come and soothe your endless pain

Would have vanquished
All the demons
And bring peace to you again

Be the child
I never knew
In a land
We won’t grow old

Be the light
I always loved
Warmed my dark 
And lonely soul

Be the girl
Playing games
In a world 
The sun won’t set

Be the laughter
Calms my heart
I never will forget
I won’t forget, won’t forget

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
Couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
Song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created….cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

I broke my promises, oh mama
Now you’ve gone away 
I’m broken
Drowning in the pain each day

I’m  drowning…drowning...drowning…drowning

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me…….



Details | Lyric | |

Unrequited Love

The love I felt exists no more
I can’t believe we’re no more
Darling how can this even be
Don’t you even care and see

I sleep at night in such hopeless torment
My soul inside crying tears of sad lament
I once felt at the very pinnacle of my life
Now I hang my head only in fear and strife

The feeling, passion, and warmth are now all gone
We had such fun in love and life, now that’s gone
My hopes and emotions are awash in this strife
My desires and dreams are gone now in my life 

I gave you all my love Darling straight from my heart
And you returned nothing Darling from the very start
My soul now cries so sadly in a most horrible hellish fire
Knowing my love remains unrequited and my soul on fire

The love I felt exists no more
I can’t believe we’re no more
Darling how can this even be
Don’t you even care and see

Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved, Schoeningen, Germany 
(November 1, 2014) (Rhymed Lyric poetic format)


Details | Lyric | |

Verses for Vivian

She hides a jar of dread
Underneath the bed
With other bottled pains

Until her feelings rust,
Collecting tears and dust
And cobwebs of old shame.   

But when the night arrives,  
She's just a name on a stone,
And a box of cold bones
That yearn to be alive.

She hides another lover
Under satin covers
To wallow in warm lies

Until she can forget
The folds of deep regret
That drape her weary guise.

But when the night arrives,  
She's just a name on a stone,
And a box of cold bones
That yearn to be alive.

Yes, when the night arrives,
She yearns to be alive.


Details | Lyric | |

The beginning of the end

Ive been trying to fill this hole in my chest.
I promised I pleaded but you still left like all the rest.
So here I sit once again all alone.
You wont even shoot a text to my phone.
So this is where I fail to stay strong.
This life of mine starts to go wrong.
So I fried up the brass.
I apply heat to get this bubble in the glass.
I heat the rock and watch it melt down.
I'm all smiles in the happiness that Ive found.
Before I knew it im drawing out of the silver spoon.
One, two, blastoff soon ill be higher then the moon.
You get that little burn in the back of your throat.
Hang on cowboy cause you just hit some bomb dope. 
Then comes the ringing in your ears.
Just sit back and all your worries and fears will simply disappear.
Don't worry about the lights fading in and out.
That's the dope coursing threw your veins ya your high no doubt.
The color will leave your eyes.
Your body is engulfed in warmth and a million butterflies.
But now the demon has got you like a needle to thread.
Welcome to the struggle cause you got to keep the demon fed.
Now we've been up for nights and days.
Given up hope we surcome to her ways.
When she leaves you she leaves you feeling dead.
You cant silence the voices screaming inside your head.
Now you just look for the next high.
Cause without that demon you wanna die.
People will wonder where have you been.
Its no secret with those track marks up and down your skin.
Now you will know new lows.
Its a sad story but thats just how it goes.
Now your so alone and feel so close to death.
Just remember who did this her name is crystal meth.
Now if you could relive that day.
When your pal held out that needle tell what would you have to say.


Details | Lyric | |

How Do You Make a Sick Heart Well?

Broken last night, 
 I woke up 
 Precious problem, 
 picking up 
 every part. 
I want to fix it.  
This  
I've tried to mend  
by shooting it into my vein, 
getting in and going, 
by another lover, 
carving the love into my skin, 
by sleeping away 
the black out.
Useless things are poison to the temple.
It’s either one cigarette after another, 
or lots of chocolate, 
the sad tale goes on and on. 
But the fragile heart is broken. 

What do I do?
They tell me to, 
Rely on Thee  
It's hard for me 
I can't see, 
Although I know  
and have been very close  before. 
I was expelled from Hell, thank God. 
Entered into the sunlight. 

While the whole world  
Is in agony. 
I'm feeling happy, 
my heart feels healed,
but this is a deception.... 
it is still broken. 
Just like a peculiar disease, 
there's no cure.

Fill it, 
and deal with all its cuts and bruises...
but then all you have are scars. .
My medicine for the bleeding within...
Is to await love to call me, 
and say that everything is ok. Not to despise my needs...

Inside, there is a little girl screaming. 
And some times...there's an old lady whispering 
that she is utterly tired, and can't bare it anymore. 

Do you shut the door on your heart? 
I can't seem to do it. 
It's too powerful and pure, 
this instrument that passionately pounds within me. 
All its pain... 
I have no control. 

Creatures 
Do you have a broken heart? 
Do you have a heart at all?  




Details | Lyric | |

A Dead Word

A dying word echoes your life
The past will come; the future will die
Faith will fall, just as you need
If light would rise, you’d make it disease

In this word everything fades
What you like; what you distaste
The dark becomes your flavour of truth
And in this world, hope is removed

A lonely word so sure to bring
A haunting pain that makes monsters sing
Where nothing comes because nothing is
The purest hate will spread from your bliss

And since the day you held that dead word
So close to heart, it’s all you have shared
You circle through the life that is death
Through rape and spells you steal what’s left

And since the day you held on too close
You kill yourself in each living host
And now you see the world is so clear
You twisted love when love was your fear


Details | Lyric | |

Despair Trigger

I'm thinking I have a disease
Despair has gripped me by my feet
Dragged me down to the cold floor
And used me until I couldn't take it anymore

I found a cure to eternal life
Slower and longer than a rusty knife
But it hits me just the same
Cauterized with a smoky flame

My throat is burning
Fingers turning
Over a lighter and a smoke
And my brow is soaked

How long til something finally breaks?
How long until it's more than I can take?
I'm too exhausted to even talk
I'm being worn down like the smoothest rock

I try to strike the match again
Burned my fingers and my smoky brain
A sudden fear comes back to me
Won't you come help me lose my memory?

It's getting easier
To fail to please her,
My addiction to despair
Is stronger than for air

I'm a victim of my own design
I am my own executioner
I'm a victim of my own design
I am my own worst enemy


Details | Lyric | |

Black Rain

~BLACK RAIN~

Another rainy stormy night,
nothing will ever feel the same.
Thunder makes me fear with fright,
Theirs no way to call your name.
To be alone is no delight,
here I am alone with shame.
It runs trough me like day and night,
lonesome here for playing my game.
I wish you where here to hold me real tight.
Forgive me for I am  the only one to blame.

A darken rainy stormy night!
Here I whither away in the BLACK RAIN!
In that selfish moment I did not realize,
all I was doing was causing myself pain.
You took and shook me with a big surprise!
And, showed me that my cheating had nothing to gain.
With you in distance I lose my self,
sitting all alone in the BLACK RAIN.

BLACK RAIN, BLACK RAIN!
Please stop the pain, its my love I want to gain.

Tears from me you wouldn't take.
It was my fault to take the fall.
It does not mean my love to you was fake.
Without you I feel real small.
The hurt runs deep~Deeper than a lake!
The hurt runs high~Higher than the tallest wall!
The hurt is heavy~something you can't shake!
The hurt is like a mystery~you can't solve at all! 
BLACK RAIN!

How these cloud posses my days,
I have no one to blame
If I knew exactly what to say,
I would not be feeling all this pain.
BLACK RAIN,
is here to stay!
I have lost what took long to gain.

BLACK RAIN, BLACK RAIN,
please go away!
I want my lover to come back my way.

  ~SKAT POETRY~
     Oct-1996

inspired by:  Rain Rain Go Away.... :)


Details | Lyric | |

Pins and Needles

Another song written in middle school - edited of course. ;)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Verse 1] I'm trapped within these walls Never to leave at all I am the prisoner inside my own home My spirit is broken I do not believe I'm locked in this chamber which I cannot leave [Chorus] The needles that break the skin The anger that runs within I’m giving it all away Just to stay alive The needles that pierce my veins It will never be the same We’re on pins and needles now It’s how we survive [Verse 2] They say he’ll find me soon Got to get out of this room The blood will spill and he’ll take what he wants to I’ll never let him through GET OUT OF MY DREAM He whispers in darkness, “I’m not who I seem…” [Chorus] [Verse 3] The four walls around me They start to close in I know I’m too late now I know I can’t win So just tell me I’m crazy It’s all in my head You’re not the killer And I am not dead [Chorus] [Breakthrough] Don’t tell me it’s impossible To start it all over again Infection sinks through your pale skin You’ll curse the day that I’m dead [Chorus]


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

the day you flew to Heaven


           We knew , it was if a moment stopped in time 
              hearing the news before most of the World did
           He loved to fly his plane from Colorado to Monterey Bay
           He was a avid golfer at Pebble Beach respected 

           He had loves and passions from many places 
           deciding to fly low through the overcast red sunset
            Not only did he love music and inspire all 
            He loved his Plane , he will always remain a beautiful Soul

              The next day it was confirmed ..all saddened 
             It was John Denver's plane that went down
             Today in Pacific Grove stands the Memorial 
             So Kiss me and smile for me we will ~
              always in loving memory 
               OH babe ,  do we hate you go ~    
                            
    

         Inspired by ; contest in Music and Loss of an Artist
                   "Leaving on a Jet Plane "
             


Details | Lyric | |

Dying Eyes

I have lost the will to change
Taking the path that leads to nowhere
The darkness is taking over
something i cannot repair 
If it is to be broken
Drowning in the sorrow
I cannot give in
Take the fall and run to the heavens
Im never going to bow
Im never going to break
I will not fall
I will not fade
I was made to take your breathe away
Whenever my hope is lost
Thats my chance to run for cover
Light the fuse and burn it up
I dont want to change the world
I just want to make it colder
Watching the end
With our dying eyes
Tell me where forever lies


Details | Free verse | |

Moments In Time

The sweetest sounds of burning trees
A gentle stroking in the breeze
The calm has lasted past the storm
Cloudy visions, Satan’s roar
Too many sights have passed my way
A time found only in the haze
The softest screams are running bare
My aching bones creak as I stare

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark

The battle’s started at the end
No one is coming to repent
The sinners grab their wine from prey
No judgment calling here to stay
The sport is reckless to be told
The one is laughing at his souls
It falters nowhere to be sure
The power grows forevermore
Like a spirit in the wind
I have no say in where you’ve been 
But cross the line to come to me
And pay the price for ecstasy

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark. 


Details | Lyric | |

Broken Love Slam

Broken Love Slam

How did it come to this
I told you by mail I wasn't piss.
You sure where acting all up into me
Now its over suddenly
You are more than a best friend
Opening my door with one touch from your hand
My thoughts of you are not easy to understand
hmm? Now your like whatever man
That is fine it was not my fault

Never in my wildest dream I ever imagined,
You could give me the best thought out of anything 
that comes along my way.
Happiness does not mean I want to posses everything
Happiness is the smile you bring upon my face
You do not have to be by my side to kiss me goodnight
Once you logoff it like the best conversation to ever ignite.

Do you not recall that one simple song.
"Don't know what you got till its gone."
The truth is,
I did not know what I was missing till I met you. 
How about that song,
"Every rose has it's thorn."
Just like the song (yes) it feels wrong.
Being many miles away and alone, 
I am not searching out for looks,
For what so at the end day he will be an empty book.
Better yet I was not searching to please my heart.
Now you filled it with smiles brought from  many miles apart
I can feel your smiles, 
that is why I always reply to you as My Sweet.

You might not be strong enough to believe in hope,
You edge walker makes me wonder if you are even human.
It's just funny how it took you to make my boat float.
Life lesson learned love starts off with many smiles
Buy the time I hit 100 smiles, 
you are all I am think of.
I will sure  miss them e-kisses, I will hold back the tears.
How about them roses, you would whispers in my ears.
I will end my broken love slam.
With the real message I left for you.
You are what you are, and I am who I am
Life allows us to pass the wrong ones first.
We both fell for eachother, now I wonder what the heck am I cursed.
  By: P.D.


Details | Ballad | |

Unanswered Poems

Don’t send me more 
Of your tragic poems
My dear 
Covered in blood
Of your monthly flood
Of tears

Don’t send me more 
Of your angry poems
My dear
Carved with the knife
Of your molten spite
And fears

I’m just a peddler 
With a cart
Bringing discount words
To hearts
Broken hearts across the land
Woman left without her man
Broken hearts throughout the world
Anguished boy and crying girl

Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to read, for me to bear
Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to get from here to there

Don’t send me more
Of your bitter poems
My sweet
Forged in the fire
Of your endless ire
And grief

Don’t send me more 
Of your hopeless poems
My sweet
Ripped from the womb
Of the lonely room
You keep

I’m just a peddler 
With a cart
Bringing discount words
To hearts
Broken hearts across the land
Woman left without her man
Broken hearts throughout the world
Anguished boy and crying girl

Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to read, for me to bear
Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to get from here to there

(You see that shadow on the road
Trudging ‘neath its heavy load
A heart weighed down by sands of time
And your poems only make him cry
And he won’t add them to the pile
So he can walk another mile)

(And he won’t add them
To the pile
So he can walk 
Another mile)

Too heavy, dear 
Too heavy, dear
For me to read 
For me to bear

(They make him sad
Make him cry
Beat him down
Deep inside)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear

They make me sad
Make me cry
Feel as though 
I want to die

(And he won’t add them
To the pile
So he can walk 
Another mile)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear

(A heart weighed down 
By sands of time
And your poems 
Only make him cry)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear



Details | Lyric | |

Polly

A nobody 
Scared by the sound of his own voice
Following the girl home from school
In his mind this is normal
Stalking girls
He grabs her jacket
Pulling her backwards unto the ground
Placing a cloth around her nose and mouth
Gagging her until she sleeps for a while
He drags her through the woods
Branches hitting her every which way he turns
Dragging her along until he reaches the cabin
Picking her up over his shoulders opening the door to the cellar
Locking the door behind him he walks down the stairs slowly
He places her on a chair and ties her wrist to the handles
Tying her feet to the legs of the chair
Tightening the rope around her neck to the back of the chair
He undresses her waiting for her to wake up
Several hours pass 
She wakes up
Sweating and screaming
Crying and yelling at him
He places duct tape around her mouth
Placing a knife against her stomach
She groans and yelps
He takes the knife away and looks at her
Grabbing her face and telling her shes beautiful
He turns around and stands with his back towards her
As he starts to say
But its the beautiful people that need fixing
He takes the tape off her face and holds her chin tightly
He carves a smile on her face
Cutting her mouth from ear to ear
Telling her
Smile dear it makes you adorable
He grins and sits the knife down
Laughing as she bleeds
She tries to move her mouth
It just drops open
He looks at her smiling
Now that makes you truly beautiful
He leaves her there for a while
Later returning
Placing a needle with a string attached to it
Sticking it into the skin around her mouth that is hanging open
He stitches her back together
Cant make up his mind
He slaps her and leaves her there for another few days
She sits with her eyes peeled wide open
A tear falling as she tries wiggling her hand free from the rope
As she frees her hand she runs her fingers over her stitches
Only to find out her whole mouth has been stitched together
She cant speak
She can only mumble
She frees the rest of  her limbs
Trying to stand up and walk but she's to weak and falls
He runs down the stairs
Yelling at her to get up
She doesn't move
He kicks her in the stomach
She doesn't budge
He picks her up and uses her as a puppet 
For his own needs
He then buries her beside his other victims
Only to find out shes still alive
Her hand slips through the dirty old mud

5-28-2013


Details | Free verse | |

I'm Your King

A burst of white light gamma rays, overbearing a flash of brilliance burns through to my soul everything is like hell the world starts to melt in the blink of an eye just the cold blackness of night I don't care if I am not again what I once was, for at this moment I am greater now than ever before I took the path between teetering, tight roping walking right up to my right divined in my unholy state I thought I told you I am your king still you sit there, hesitating I know you hate me what does that mean? I hate just about everything still I'm chosen I did not wish before now bow down to me refuse me no more for I shall always be your demon until you accept me as your King. I don't even know you though you say we used to be best of friends, you and me the day you ditched me I remember now exactly how it played out back when we were just tiny things even back then I still was King you thought me stupid just a ruse I would laugh inside, you see? not one of you single, mean people ever even knew me in a world, mostly seen to me that is why only I can be your true King and bring forth a new source of light everlasting. As two worlds collide slowly aligned one wrapped in shadows one bathed in white evils swirling in the clouds above I'll always be the king you love to hate or despise as in your blood I thought I told you, I am the one I am the way, the way out shall be shown breathe in my spirit as it carries you away breathe in my faith it shall carry your empty space and deposit you gently on a cloud just enough higher than you've ever dreamed of for I am king now, and your in my hell your in my imagination, I'll just never tell you'll feel as though dreaming, you'll feel now if you try and see you were always found the most shared in the light cast upon me the last bright star in heaven. Denounce my name, if you may One year later, still not afraid A black sheep, a darkened spade That's just life, I'm not right I'm in the wrong, follow along Like a piper, I'll pitch a song Mesmerized, the weak wills sing I thought he told you, he's still our king.


Details | Lyric | |

Broken Reflection(Save Yourself)

Reflection in the mirror.
It couldn't be anymore clearer.
I look past this reflection.
Hidden behind the flesh. 
A bloody mess.
Can you tell me something? 
How can a heart still beat when it's beyond beaten? 
I know I can't take this life for granted.
Can't waste a second.
What do you do when your lungs hurt to breathe? 
What do you do when every day you wake up to grieve? 
Finding solitude only in the form of an alcoholic beverage.
Drinking in this poison that illudes your mind.
Feeling worthless, just wanting to pass the time.
Look at yourself! 
You're filling a void, an empty space.
Believing that this allusion in your mind will replace.
Everything you ever loved.
You're destroying yourself. 
Nothing can take the place of what's left.
When will you realize that? 
I know your heart has been broken.
I know you feel like your love has been stolen.
Looking in the mirror, a broken reflection. 
Tired of the lies.
Are you dead or alive? 
You're killing yourself everytime you take another drink.
So open your eyes and give yourself time to think. 
Don't bury yourself in a constant state of hate.
Put the bottle down, before it's a second too late. 



Details | Lyric | |

Velvet Wings

Ignorant to passing time
Reality strikes its deafening chime
Unspoken words pass between
I and you, my darling queen

Lay your weary head to rest
With your arms across your chest
Now it's time to close your eyes
Whisper your final goodbyes

Let me go, we'll both be free
Cross the wasteland, past the sea
Find the path to heaven's light
Break away from endless night

Embracing tears of bitter pain
Falling lightly with the rain
Out of reach, I hear your song
Alone again, I sing along

Let me go, we'll both be free
Cross the wasteland, past the sea
Find the path to heaven's light
Break away from endless night

From the night. . .
I watched your velvet wings take flight
I never saw you so alive
So alive
I watched your velvet wings take flight
I'll never ever say goodbye
Never say goodbye

Life has ended, you have won
Death befriended, pain is gone
Fly away into the light
Crystal clear and shining bright
Close your eyes for final rest
Meeting among the blessed

Let me go, we'll both be free
Cross the wasteland, past the sea
Find the path to heaven's light
Break away from endless night

From the night. . .
I watched your velvet wings take flight
I never saw you so alive
So alive
I watched your velvet wings take flight
I'll never ever say goodbye
Never say goodbye

I let you go so you'll be free
Cross the path of darkened sea
I watched your velvet wings take flight
I can never say goodbye
Never say goodbye


Collaboration with Rebecca Larkin <3
A song, and lyrics


Details | Lyric | |

From The Peircing Of An Arrow To The Cold Hearted Fate Of love

her life is on the tip of his tongue
the sparkle leaves her eyes
an arrow to his chest
drawing her to her death
a feather falling from the sky
the death of an angel
her wings turn blood red
like the color of the red sea
the sword drawn out of the ground
by her own hands
what he could not do himself
she has done for him
He falls unto to his knees
the arrow she had put into his chest
the greatest of betrayals
She asked for her death wish
Holding the ring in her palm
He looks into her eyes
watching the love she had left for him disappear
Falling into despair
Her face hitting the ground
Blood surrounded her body
He watched as she died
He couldn't move from the love that had pierced his chest


Details | Lyric | |

My Dismal Reality

Having loved ones is an incredibly comforting feeling, but when you enter the vast 
landscape of the mind and see only depression and despair,  you become aware 
that you are alone in your misery.  Clinging to the last threads of sanity It feels as if 
you are spiraling into a bottomless black abyss. 
  All sense of responsibility, joy, hope, drive, ambition and any concern for life are 
gone like a whisp of smoke.  There is no comfort offered when  looking deeply into 
who you are.  Everything that you once held dear seems so pointless in the eternal 
perspective of time.  There is no escape from the futility of it all.  Will I make a 
difference or at least be a descent human being.  If I do, what difference will it 
make.  Countless times have I looked into the never ending realm of insanity and 
longed to leap into its welcoming arms.  I can think of no greater blessing than to 
lose one's capacity for self awareness.
  Would I fall for all eternity or through the destructive force of madness find 
normalcy. It all seems so hopeless.  Some say life passes so fast that you should 
cherish every moment.  But, living out the drudgery of each day seems an eternity to 
me. If I focus hard enough my minds eye sees exactly who I am.  I have a self 
loathing, over burdened, depressingly active, mentally challenged, sarcastic, twisted 
thinking process.  Process usually indicates order.  Not in  my case.  My mind plumets 
into a cold unfeeling wasteland that sends me into fearful fits of confusion where I 
am overwhelmed with unrelenting incomparable anger.  I ponder an escape , but I 
realize I am destined to wallow in the  company of despair and futility for all eternity 
and deservedly so. Then it finally dawns on me that through my foolish decisions 
and self destructive actions I have fulfilled my mission in life to be a stench filled 
mass of human waste.  I grieve for those who know the loneliness I feel  when 
journeying into the depths of the seemingly twisted internal machinations of my  
mind.  It is the only place that in all respects you are truly alone.  I no of no other 
place where hopelessness reigns as it does in the deep recesses of who I am.    It 
makes me wonder if I might be God's only mistake. 


Details | Lyric | |

Scream, Gone

Stomp, stomp, stomp, Scream, scream, scream, Before the stomp, stomp, stomps, He, she, they screamed screamed, And screamed, at I, Scream at I which the thoughts, Of comeback come near, near, and nearer, Stomp, stomp, stomp, I hear the stomps, they come closer, And closer and closer, Stomp, stomp, stomp My heart beating faster, faster, faster! The room, spinning, spinning, spinning! Times going, gone, gone! Stomps coming closer, faster! The screams getting louder, louder! Stomp, scream, stomp! Nothings more worse than when you see the, He, she, they behind the stomping of the stomps, The screaming, of the screams, The fire, hell, saddened in the eyes, Is what hurts most, rather than the, Stomp, stomp, stomp, Or the, Scream, scream, scream.


Details | Rhyme | |

Rehab

So much I wanted to say. So much I wanted to shout.
It was like being trapped behind bars without a way
to get out.
My mind going wild with all these questions of why.
The only way to escape was to fall asleep or to cry.
What did I do so bad that made me have to pay?
My friends, my dreams, and my life was swepped away.
I know I can do it! I try and I try.
Nothing seems to get better. I sometimes wish
I would Die.
Starved for attention. I wanna talk to the world.
I just miss being loved. Miss the warmth of a girl.
Snickers and stairs is what my life has become.
I'm treated like I'm a kid, like I'm sick, or I'm dumb.
One day to the next. Life becomes work just to be alive.
I thank god for my blessings. I thank god I survived.
I finally see some improvement. More hope tickles
my brain.
It was worth all the time, all the tears, all the pain.
I awake with a smile and new hope to move on.
I did it! I did it! All those hard times are gone!


Details | Lyric | |

Drenched In Silence

This was originally a poem by my little brother David Breidenthal. You can search it and find that my song version is a little bit similar to his poem. Enjoy! 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have no capability to cry for help I have no energy to save myself Can you hear the silence of my sad prayer? Daddy says You’re mad at me Are You even there? Drenched in silence…drenched in silence Can You hear me? Will You save me From him? Why do You stare at me From high above? Why do You laugh and jeer at me Where is the love? Oh, I know You hear me Feel my despair All the others are happy God, it isn’t fair… Drenched in silence…drenched in silence… Can You hear me? Will You save me? Ahhh….ahhh…..ahhh Something tells me Something tells me You hurt no one…no one Something tells me Something screams to me You hurt no one Not him, nor her, nor He… Just me… Drenched in silence…drenched in silence… I have no capability To cry for help I have no confidence To find you myself I will never believe What he said No one laid a hand on you You are not dead, just— Drenched in silence…drenched in silence Can you hear me? Will you save me? Can you here me? Do you fear me? Daddy says You’re mad at me Daddy pulls my hair Daddy says I’m bad to You Daddy says You’re there Can you hear me? Daddy says You’re mad at me Daddy says beware Daddy says I’m bad to you Daddy wants me bear Daddy says You’re mad at me Daddy pulls my hair Daddy says You’ll forgive me But I don’t think you care Drenched in silence…drenched in silence… Can You hear me? Will you save me? (from him) Can You hear me? Can You hear me? Can’t You hear me? Can’t You hear me? Can You hear me? Hear me, hear me Hear me, hear me Hear me, hear me Hear me…hear me


Details | Lyric | |

Goodbye

My life is torn between two worlds
Of now and used to be
But all I ever wanted 
Was the world of you and me
Memories of the only love 
That I have ever known
It’s hard to hold them in my heart
But hard to let them go
At times I wonder who I am
Where did I go wrong 
Why am I so lonely 
In a life I don’t belong
I know my heart will never heal
While feeling so much pain
I’ll never find the sunshine 
While I’m following the rain
Too late now for miracles
They wouldn’t change a thing
For someone else’s finger
Now wears your wedding ring
But though our song has ended
You still want us to dance
And though I’m still in love with you
My heart can't take the chance
Forever I will miss you
And forever I will cry, but
To find myself again
I know I have to say goodbye..

By Raina Hutchins


Details | Lyric | |

Normal To Me

This isn't just a poem This isn't just another emotion This is me, these are my thoughts The Imagery is my sight, And The Allegories are my Life I'm lonely, There is just me But there's so many people around but no one can hear my loudest screams Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me I'm torn, I'm Cut Part of my heart stabbed, and then taken from me The Search for my innocence, Is like a moa hunt Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Laughing and Jokes all directed towards me Just to Hurt me Cover all of the Halls "Fag, Emo, Queer" Words I too often know Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Curling her hair putting on her makeup "You're worthless and nothing to Me" Says the so-called all-loving-one As she screams: "Why am I not Pretty" Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me This is not just a poem not just some words my pen cries with each words But this is Just a Glimpse Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me


Details | Lyric | |

Shades of Darkness

Shades of Darkness
touch my soul
I can feel it
devouring me whole
leave me be
let me drown
I'm the one
who let you down
do not expect
my loving devotion
do not believe
my apologies to you
for naught is right
with myself
and I must leave now
and carry my Shades of Darkness, too


Details | Lyric | |

Ragdoll

Heartbeat slows,
Limbs grow cold,
Memory recalling constant turmoil. 

Memories recanted,
Moments fade to blackness.
This is it. 
Time to release these demons. 

Red lines decorate your paper skin, 
No one knows the secrets within.
You’re so delicate. 
Fragile design, 
Hypocrites delight. 

Stitch up your seams, 
Don’t let them see you bleed. 
Wretched and torn, 
You’re hollow. 

Maybe when you’re gone, 
They’ll understand. 
Hindsight is always clear when measuring the aftermath. 

They didn't know you anyway, 
You know they never cared. 
Released from your endless despair.


Details | Imagism | |

SLEEPING WITH THE DEVIL'S WIFE

   SLEEPING WITH THE DEVIL'S WIFE
Some night you'll wake before morning
Sweatin to the oldies she will sing.
She'll make you think you're in Heaven...
Long enough to tell you ANYTHING...

And you'll believe her.

Some night you'll wake up hearing voices
Sweatin to the oldies of here life.
She'll never say you're in Heaven.
Or tell you you've been sleeping with the Devil's Wife.

She'll never tell you, you've been sleeping with the Devil's wife.

But you will KNOW.
You will know.

That's when you'll need her.
That's when you'll love her the most.
That's when you will die.
Sleeping with the Devil's wife.

That's when you will die.
   
© ron wilson aka vee bdosa ---hear the song and First take Video on Youtube, search for vee bdosa then select SLEEPING WITH THE DEVILS WIFE. One of my personal favorites, more poetry than song.


Details | Lyric | |

Don't Fall

~Don’t Fall ~

Yet another restless night
Bad dreams every other hour
I turn on the light hoping 
It will calm me down 
Yet it takes me back in time
And there he stands
Like a shadow in the night 
Naked as can be 
Laughing an evil laugh
As he says to me
Mio Piccola Puttana
I can’t let him get to me
So please teardrops

~Don’t Fall~

I look into the mirror
I see that pasty skin
Paired with double chins
I think to myself starving won’t Even get the fat off
Fast enough
I feel so defeated yet still
I tell myself 
Teardrops

~Don’t Fall~

Looking for a way out
I feel like I am stuck inside my Past
Reliving every moment
One after another
It feels like it is happening all over Again
I feel the tears in my eyes so I say
Teardrops please

~Don’t Fall~

Now I can see him in the faces of Strangers
I feel so alone and out of place
I still force myself to get up each Day
Even though I want to hide 
It is such a struggle 
Day after day
And to add to the pain 
I have to make sure those
Tears 

~Don’t Fall~

If you touch me I might break
If you are hear to see me 
Please don’t hurt me 
That I wouldn’t be able to take
Know that I am like a dam ready To break
So if you were to hug me 
Hold my hand or touch me 
In any other comforting way
This dam may break 
And there won’t be any telling 
The tears 

~Don’t Fall~


Details | Lyric | |

Remember you

I open my eyes
to another day
as the sun climbs
I fade away
im carried to a place where i feel no pain
carried to a time before you went away

I still feel you close, feel you here
in this life we chose its all so clear
when I remember you, remember you

I close my eyes
from another day
as the moon blinds
I fade away
im carried to a place where i feel no pain
carried to a time before you went away

I still feel you close, feel you here
in this life we chose its all so clear
when I remember you, remember you

 


Details | Lyric | |

Watch Me Die

The petals of a rose, they tremble and they fall
Just like my aching heart, my backs against a wall
so I Scream- but no one seems to hear me 
(and) I Bleed- but no one seems to worry 
(and) I Cry- but no one spares a passing glance
(and) I Die- no one seems to care

My mask, it melts away
as the flames burn through my bones, the pain it never fades
and its worse because i know the angels are not here to save me
everthing but you hates me
and im stuck with all this trapped inside
Im forced to sit and watch me die

Im in an empty room...
all hope disenegrates.
nothing left to do but get drunken, high
im willing to do anything just to get by

so I Scream- but no one seems to hear me 
(and) I Bleed- but no one seems to worry 
(and) I Cry- but no one spares a passing glance
(and) I Die- no one seems to care

My mask, it melts away
as the flames burn through my bones, the pain it never fades
and its worse because i know the angels are not here to save me
everthing but you hates me
and im stuck with all this trapped inside
Im forced to sit and watch me die
Im forced to sit and watch me die


Details | Lyric | |

Phryne II

Greece you are waiting for me.
With white speechless marbles
within the August heat.
With sullen and loveless areopagites
carving my name on sea-shells.

Hypereides, you liar.
Praxiteles, oh so blind.
You Xenocrates, son of the *****.

And me that I was thought
I would return bearing banners
to rebuild your Thebes.

A roar under the earth.
Ashes in the wind.
Athens rises in the sky
and charges against me.

Why should I be afraid?
Why should I run for a shelter?
No!
I don’t want you to cover my eyes.
I want to see the terror in yours,
when after the execution
you’ll find me at the exit,
waiting for you
with a molotov cocktail in my hands.


Details | Lyric | |

Buried Myself Alive

can you remember the time i let you in?
the time i showed you my heart?
the time i shared my soul with you?
the moment i poured out my blood when you needed it?
The second i saved your life?
The hour i saved you from your darkest secret?
The minute where you watched me bury myself alive?
Remember the time when you almost made me cry?
the time i made it a game to play your game?
the day i had my own time and took advantage of myself?
the hour it took to shut you out and let you go away for a long time?
well your going to have to ask nicer than that 


Details | I do not know? | |

My Dad

It never quits
My dad's h i t s
I see myself in the mirror
And I am to become
But I just go numb
It hurts to see
What all he has done to me
It never fails
When he hears me wail
It never quits
My dad's h i t s


Details | Lyric | |

Gotta Let Their Soul Cry

 Raped and Molestated in childhood, 
   Abused and Misused in pre-adulthood,
     Alone and confused they stood; feeling
       like tainted goods.

 Let their soul cry, maybe then; they can
  regain their pride. 

 They gotta let their soul cry

 Their darkest secret's they lock  away
   within, this is why their flesh constantly
    feast off sin; and everything in life has a
     beginning, but never render an ending.

 Let their soul cry, Crying is the only way to
  gain their piece of mind.
   
One might ask," Why"? Then , I will reply,"
  They need to see at least one day filled with
     promise rather than pain and see the sun
        without having rain.
     
 They gotta let their soul cry, before their sin
  cause their flesh to die.


Details | Lyric | |

Haunted

I see the vision playing back on me.
I close my eyes so I can't see
But the view won't stop.
Like this is on top
Of my list to do.
To be haunted by sights of you.
Visions of that day.
Now the pain just won't go away.
Now it replays back in my mind.
But I'm not the one pressing rewind.
You have made my life haunted. 
And now the nightmares will never stop it.
Until I can finally tell my story.
My story of what has happened to me.


Details | Lyric | |

Dont Wanna Live Without You

When things are going wrong
And your screaming in my ear
Telling me its over
Im begging you please take me back
Thats all i need 
Thats all I really ever wanted 
Please take me back
Dont turn me away
Dont put me through this unbearable pain
Cause it tears out my heart and puts it to shame
Turning me into ome kind of lonley monster
I dont wanna live with out you
Id rather die at your side
Its to unbearable to let you go
TO feel this pain
To go on living in this world full of rain
So please take me back 
Dont turn me away
This pain is to unbearable to live with
It tears out my heart and puts it to shame
Turning me into a monster


I cant live without you


Details | Lyric | |

Borderline's Wreckage

I'm Agonizing every Word that my mind Creates You've done this all to me release your wrath to Me You wonder How much a Human Heart can take I've reached the limit You've invaded me on every level none of this is Mine anymore I can't bleed enough for You We're through This, This Torture Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You Feel Free to abuse If it's you I won't lose The Winds push away The Vines pull forth I'm at a lose on what to do So very lost and Confused Don't say we're through Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You I Hate you ...Don't leave me I push you so far away But need you so close I'm on the edge you're all I really need I'll do anything Just don't Abandoned me leaving has it's toll Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You


Details | Lyric | |

All I'll Have Left

Lately I’ve been thinking about our love affair
And I’ve come to the conclusion we’re not getting anywhere
And, Darling, though I love you with all of my heart
I think the end is here and it’s time for us to part

Why is it so hard to say good-bye
Even though I know it has to be
It’s simply because I’m losing everything
And all that I’ll have left is me

When we first got together I was looking for a friend
But it turned into a love that I thought would never end
And now the time has come to go our separate ways
We danced to the piper’s music, but now it’s time to pay

Why is it so hard to say good-bye
Even though I know it has to be
It’s simply because I’ve given up my soul
And all that I’ll have left is me

I guess I always knew that it would have to be this way
But I was never looking forward to this day
Now as you turn to leave tears fall from my eyes
And all I want to do is crawl away and die

Why is it so hard to say good-bye
Even though I know it has to be
It’s simply because you’re taking all I am
And all that I’ll have left is me


Details | ABC | |

dysfunctional

It’s my life not expecting you to understand it
A man who when he was a boy his mother abandoned
Alienated like I arrived from another planet
While you were with your family joking, laughing and eating a peanut butter sandwich
I was moved from foster families and children’s homes
Surrounded by people but feeling alone
 Everything I go through is some kind of building zone
Treated differently because I’m not wanted or loved by my dad, sister mum or brother
Feel like everyone trying to get to know me is working undercover
So the first thing I do is run for cover
Opposites attract I’m cold inside does that make me summer’s lover?
Being uncomfortable makes me comfortable
I feel safe being vulnerable
I’ll be the first to say I’m dysfunctional
Am I supposed to lie and say everything all great and wonderful?
Should I already understand and know it all?
You belittle me but I’m still growing tall
You wanted me to catch but you didn’t even throw the ball
An insomniac and I know Money can buy a bed but not sleep
But how much would a meaningful hug cost me?
I could wish and pray to the sky
But that’s just not me
Anytime love got me
It seems that Luck lost me
So I Push away the people I want to stay by my side
The ones who are worth your tears won’t make you cry
I could do 99 good deeds for you
But you would count the mistakes I make in life
So I don’t even try no more
I don’t cry no more
Love no one trust no one, **** them all
If you want to walk out my life. Here let me hold the door


Details | Lyric | |

Why Must It Be

Can I let you go? Will you be okay? Where you're headed now...to a better place Listen to my words of forgiveness relieving this pain I'd give anything to have you back again To hold you once more in my arms, one more day of happiness you now dwell within my heart Your innocent smile is forever a distant memory, and the times that we share are precious treasures that I spend reliving The Shadow of Death Took you in just one breath Why must it be? I cry behind this closed door, searching desperately for an answer, yet all I feel is an emptiness inside... despair haunts me forevermore Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave? Why does this have to hurt? Cancer robbed thy life from thee... Why must it be? Fly away Angel Child of Mine Trod thy broken paths, roam away, fly and be free... Why must it be?


Details | Lyric | |

My Friend Shirlene

Since the year of our first greeting
The time has slowly whispered by.
Now once again old friends are meeting
No need to lament or question why.

God saw a void where once you dwelt
Knowing a circle had been long broken.
He restored the kinship that once I felt
A friendship much more than just token.

In a God swept area of a fragile heart
Is a compartment reserved and true.
God readied this special place at the start
When he gave me a burden for you.

Others cannot visit this location or rend
For I alone, am privileged to free tours.
It allows me to call you my best friend
Without your having to call me yours.


Details | Lyric | |

A Silent Prayer




                                      Born in sin, 
                                innocent some say,
               Silent the night, as it creeps on into day.
                        A Silent plea for forgiveness,
                         a silent sin, a sin of silence, 
                                      silent friend

…                             Souls silently praying, 
                           In silence,  a silent prayer is
                                            Saying.
                                           Save me…

                            In silence I cry, Silently I die….
                                      Pray for silence, 
                                   Silently pray twice
                                      A silent prayer

                                             Saying,
                                           Save me….


Details | Lyric | |

This is about you

When you have downfall on your mind chaos is all a mind can find, its time to change all the things you had held so deep inside, they cause rage, your trapped in while your caught up in the cage of life an easy life with out strife, no more pain or struggle inside a bubble and you want to make it burst, but first things first you know the times that come will be the worst, because its change you want, and you will taunt the ones who set the curse. They say if you want to change a little then its your choice, but if you want to change a lot they must first hear your voice, loud enough for all to hear, listen and all of the problems soon disappear, just know that the world can be a  bleak one and people dont always listen so you cannot only speak once, so when the end is near you can look back at the goodtimes throughout all the years think about all the times and cheer, and thank god you lived this long and your still here. Be remembered  only for  the words you spoke, for you do not want to be invisioned inside a cloud of smoke, watch as they listen when you start to feel the choke on the thoughts about your life,a bad life,  a black life, envoloped in fear you were hoping that the man would hear, and maybe take a listen, to diamonds in your mind as you watch them glisten. finally move to a position, and  open your ears and let your mind be clear, and hear the wisdom spoken from the person on the otherside of the mirror, society sobriety with out a clue just sit and ponder at the deepest thoughts that are revealed in you...


Details | Lyric | |

Tears

A great day ending in tragedy
now you wait until you get the news
I was scattered in different forms
The car door was slammed into my side
The doctor walks in to give you the news
You fall to the floor
Tears falling from your face
Your makeup running down unto your clothes
Making a stain where your heart used to be
I took you back into the darkest place of my soul
Something was different more darker than before
Now you wait until the funeral of your lost love
Your standing in the corner
Your face is covered in darkness
The blood runs from your eyes
How it hurts in the worst way now that im gone
Your realizing how much i meant to you
Something you havent seen before
Your blindness fades away as you start to see
You fall to the floor fainting
No one picks you up
They drop my casket into my little hole
Where i will stay all life long
How your tears fall unto the ground
Getting soaked up by the soil
Drowning me in your tears
Admire the past no more ways to see the future
Now that your starting to love me more
You wait until you see me in a dream
Dying like the past
As your moving on i fade away
I am no longer alive
You left me behind


Details | Lyric | |

In My Eyes

Find a way to me. A way you will find. See the colors, In my eyes. Drain the grey, And the black. Bring the color, In my eyes. See flashing of blue, Flashes of green, Flashes of brown. If you search for me, Search for my eyes, There I will be found. See the rainbow inside. To think I went insane. You weren't mine. That's what would keep me sane. Dreams and flashbacks come into view. Thinking of what could we've been, Thinking of the pictures of you, Thinking of what we had, I knew I was doomed. See flashing of blue, Flashes of green, Flashes of brown. If you search for me, Search for my eyes, There I will be found. Much of darkness is in my eyes. Haven't you noticed I've been down? Showed my all the lies, Do you know in my tears, I drown? See flashing of blue, Flashes of green, Flashes of brown. If you search for me, Search for my eyes, There I will be found. See flashing of blue, Flashes of green, Flashes of brown. If you search for me, Search for my eyes, There I will be found. There I will wait, There I will cry, There I will relate, There I will die. ~ORIGINAL~ <3 Evalina Elena Eshiii E>


Details | Lyric | |

Lifelong Stories

You and I 
Suicide
Never knowing what it means
To bleed
Never touching the dreams
You need 
Just bleed 

Thoughts glimpse inside
Glimpse inside the mind 
They say you’re nothing
Hide your worth
They say you’re nothing
Dead from birth 

We all want to be
Want to be
What they want us to be
We all wanna see 
Wanna see the light
Open up your eyes
See inside the light 
This is our story
Give God the glory 

Down the medication
Take it all in 
Put another line inside the wrist
Maybe it’ll block out the fist 
What does this life even mean
What is a happy dream 

We all want to be
Want to be
What they want us to be
We all wanna see 
Wanna see the light
Open up your eyes
See inside the light 
This is our story
Give God the glory

Lovers seem to fade
Fade into the grey
Families tear apart
Rip out your heart 
No one seems to care
If you go no where
No one seems to cry
If you sleep at night 

We all want to be
Want to be
What they want us to be
We all wanna see 
Wanna see the light
Open up your eyes
See inside the light 
This is our story
Give God the glory

Thoughts glimpse inside
Glimpse inside the mind 
They say you’re nothing
Hide your worth
They say you’re nothing
Dead from birth

Just run
Run away
Death is not the end
Heaven send 
There’s something greater
In the air
God we need you now 
There must be more
More than this 

 We all want to be
Want to be
What they want us to be
We all wanna see 
Wanna see the light
Open up your eyes
See inside the light 
This is our story
Give God the glory


Details | Lyric | |

October

there is an intense 
ageless quality to an 
autumnal day in October 
that embraces the past, and all 
its wistful tenderness 
the present and its disturbing sameness 
and the future, with its unknown quantity 
of joy and sadness 


Details | Ballad | |

Martyr for the Unorthodox word

If I had over 10,000 dreams You'd be the only thing my mind could see Judgment couldn't be real Succumbing to the fear of this cold life Find a way to break through The self-destruction of wordly delusions Don't tell me I've lived so long in a lovely illusion Break me down until we find a Nirvanic state Then bring me a savior from transgressions An atoning sacrifice Send down to me a messenger for me to submit to Bring me the truth to break through The delusion Bring me the messenger to explain it all And let me leave behind Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word


Details | Lyric | |

The Escapist's Plea,

I dont know where i'm going anymore hard to tell who you are when the indiffrency has settled in cold, empty, barren will i ever find a way? Help me find a way out of this sorrow filled cage My soul singed with everyday Reality so hard to face I need to find a way to escape Only if i could just fly a way I try to stay sane But i fell under the september rain A repuiem for the reality That i never wish to see Help me find a way out of this sorrow filled cage My soul singed with everyday Reality so hard to face I need to find a way to escape Only if i could just fly a way I need a way to escape, Only if I could just fly away


Details | Lyric | |

Decay

It's all about decay,
from the teeth in your head
to your childhood bed
and how he used to look at you that way,
looks that too soon turned to pity,
Here kitty kitty
come sit on my lap,
veins like a map,
listen for the nocturnal intruder
scratching like a rat,
we hear him, me and the cat,
we imagine him chewing on 
the insulation of the wires,
envision the resulting fire,
and shudder at the thought of dying that way,
our nerves fray
the cat's claws pierce our paper-thin skin,
its protective barrier breaking down
and we look around
at the room choked with a lifetime's keepsakes
and wonder what difference it makes
and whether our passing will even be noted,
a life devoted
to idiotic mistakes,
for God's sake,
let somebody notice
before my body's become bloated,
let them come feed the cat,
he has been such a comfort as he cocks his ear
once more
to the scratching at the door,
our mysterious guest,
who affords us no rest,
my hands shake with fear and dismay,
because in the end, it's all about decay.


Details | I do not know? | |

Nightmare

Standing alone in the night Dark all around Something doesn't seem quite right I hear a sound Like a werewolf howl Coming from all around And the noise of an owl Piercing red eyes appear Lightning strikes from the sky Death is seeming rather near And I don't want to die Am I dreaming? I hope I'm dreaming? Nightmare Confronting everything that I fear Nightmare The seeming reality of everything I see and hear Down into the ground I fall Deep into the dark Evil says my name, I hear it call The devil's made his mark I run, through the endless cave Stumbling through to find there's no way out Everything is what I've gave I've given up, all I want to do is scream and shout Nightmare! This is everything I fear Nightmare! I think the end is coming near I hope I'm dreaming I wish I was dreaming But I know this is my fate Lucifer, he can't wait To take my soul away There's nothing more I can do or say Nightmare! Losing everything I ever cared for Nightmare! Losing myself even more Nightmare! Nightmare! Nightmare! What I never want Nightmare! My mind is does haunt It don't care What I fear Cause with it, it grows I'm hating everything it knows I wish it wasn't real Everything I see and feel But it's true And just like a Nightmare!


Details | Lyric | |

Life's Bottomless Pit

Bankrupt and broke life has given to me
Endless contradictions with windows I see
What a shame that it is to be in this bind
However the outcome I'm losing my mind...

Yesterdays care gave out almost there
While trailing once more, lifes relentless wear
Has taken me down again and again
Yet this time it's different, this time I give...

Watching and wishing I keep on missing
Something inside that will stop it's pissing
Life's pissing on me and letting me know
Get out of the way get out of the flow

I've fallin again and boy I fell hard
Fighting lifes ways justifies my scar's
Painful emotions have robbed me today
It procrastinated awhile and became enraged
  
What can I do when inside me I knew
There's somewhere I'd been adjusting my view
I am all the way down and feeling quite sick
Standing on the bottom of life's bottomless pit...


Details | Lyric | |

.Alone.

you. are not. alone.
with cavernous ceilings closing in,
the impression of depression driving in the direction
of some unreachable goal of controlled insanity
– because always in control are you –
you harp on your uniqueness, your originality,
when in fact you are one of a many,
one of a group,
something you try so hard to deny
as the blood starts staining your hands
and drip, drops on this hallowed ground.
through the watery haze of your righteous tears
your gaze fails to fall on the footprints
of another and another, walking the floor,
their lifeblood draining just as yours.
all around you they sway, scepters
of tragedies pushed away and forgotten,
long forgotten,
as you blindly flail and try not to fall
off this lonely cliff of Last Resort where
you. are not. alone.
you search and you seek 
empathy, apathy, sympathy, any “-pathy”
to ease the pain of these lost, forgotten days,
and yet you miss these hands reaching out
wanting to hold you miss these words
said only to console you miss these eyes
meant to draw you in
and all you see in those eyes is a reflection
of something you’ve tried to deny
and you continue to balance
walking the  lines of chaos, trying not to spin
out, of, control
– because always in control are you –
you try to survive on the bread and bones
 of those come before, but blind you are
to the nature of your food, blind you are
to this world you stumble through
and blame endlessly, releasing you
from the responsibility you are being punished for, and
you. are not. alone.
so dive of your platform of solitary fears
dive into this river of comfortable tears
swim alongside these ghosts of years and years
of tragedies so like yours
let them carry you away from this
cliff of Last Resort and know that
you. are not. alone.


Details | Lyric | |

. and then,

there are times 
when my heart
remains silent
when its pulse is
steady and slow
there are times
when i am
right with the world
fitting in like a piece
to an irregular puzzle
there are times 
when the sounds
of the life that surrounds me
blend in infinite splendor
with the music that plays
within.

and then,

there are times
when my heart explodes
and its rapid beating
becomes too much
for the confines of my chest 
there are times
when i seem to be
a square block 
struggling to escape
this round hole
of an existance
there are times
when the cacophonous symphony
invading my mind
overlaps with what
i hear outside
and the resulting noise
is disarmingly similar
to my inner chaos.

and then,

there are times
when i wonder
when this
nauseating see-saw
will stop its
strange rhythm
when the boundaries
that dictate
the shape of my life
will stop their 
shape-shifting
when i can be left 
in peace.

and then,

each time
this wondering arrives
it is followed by a certainty
that the answer is

never.


Details | Lyric | |

This Aint Real

Your face, 
Made a fake smile, (you said)
I love you,
I need you,
I want you just for a while,
You told me,
That I made you smile,
All the things you said to me,
Are just words now,
How can we love,
When you love me for yourself,
(This Aint Love)

Chorus: 2x
What are we doin,
If this love ain't real,
What is this feeling,
That I feel,

I'm broken in emotion,
I'm broken in love, (you said)
I need you,
I want you
You're the only one,
I'm thinkin of, (so tell me)
How can we love, 
When there's always someone else,
(This Aint Love)

Chorus 2x
Bridge:
How can we love,
When there's always someone else,
How can we make up,
When you only love me for yourself,

verse #3:
You got me imprisoned, 
Inside your heart,
When kissed
I felt, Like we,
Would never be apart,
chorus 2x

 


Details | Lyric | |

Special

To capture the attention everyone else gets but you
You do whatever you can to get it
Even if its bad
You continue to do it
To get the attention you never had
And the attention you will never get
You want the perfect body and soul that everyone else has
You want to feel important... special
So you seek for a better
Much higher thing
What you need
You dont quite know
But you decide that
You will do whatever it takes to make you happy
And sometimes
That means..
suicide
Sometimes it means
Shooting someone
Because the hole inside your heart needs filled
And thats the only thing you ever had
The only thing you see
The only thing that someone gave to you
The thing that got everyone talking about you
The thing that got everyone to even look at you
So if you decide to kill someone
You kill yourself afterwards
Because you felt lonely again
You felt that no one was watching you
That no one even cared 
Then you think about all the things that 
Bugged you
And you pull the trigger
Then theres no more you
Next time someone sees you
You will be on the news
Where now you are special
And important


Details | Lyric | |

Overcoming Struggle

Overlook a lifetime past
Remember how it did not last
Life changes quickly before your eyes.
This so called reality surrounded by lies.
A sad thought it may seem
I do not want to open  my eyes to another dream.
Real reality set in.
Lets look forward and begin
I am in this game of life to win.
I will not give up and lose.
I will stand tall
even though I am battered and bruised.


Details | Elegy | |

The Lament For an Angel

All in one faded-black day (but let None forget) In my arms, her body lay (my life was the price to pay) A tragedy, through the lack of humanly shame (do they know pain) My darkly colleen has to suffer no more (Robert nor do you) Let me die (please hear my haunted cries) If I can not see Sophie tonight (live on with my grey) I'm just a mess of despairing words And broken nerves Another mourning, afflicted sight (through decay, love can remain) Solace, sympathy are just more lies She is all I need Until you decide she is just another sadist's toy My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away (My body is amortal, die I may, Together, our hearts will forever stay)


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Concrete | |

I know I can Be a Bad Man

Yeah I know I can be a bad man
But I just want people to understand
I do what I must, I do only what one can

I think about life, I think about my everyday strifes
I know I love you girl you the mama of my children
You already like my wife
I know I have cheated from time to time 
but you the only one who I sleep with at the end of another long night

Yeah I know I can be a bad man
But I just want people to understand
I do what I must, I do only what one can

I know I like to drink yet it feels like I love that alcohol
This liqour and beer is my number one downfall
If it werent so then the crazy *****in my life now I would have never saw
I would have never ended up sitting in prison for breaking the law

Yeah I know I can be a bad man
But I just want people to understand
I do what I must, I do only what one can

It's alright now though because Im back in school
I know I struggle at times but Im reframing from being another lost fool
I know it bull-*****even though many youngsters think that *****is cool
But they don't know if they been where I been and still want to do what I do


Details | Rhyme | |

State of Mind

I wanna fly away to Cloud 9, and live in a euphoric state of mind
Every thought is another tic, on the the inevitable hands of time
Go to my utopia, and be carried by golden chariots with silver trim
Fly above a sea of angels, and never feel any pain again

But instead, I learned to make art out of scribbling lead,
Entering another dimension while I had head rushes flush through my head
And flashbacks attack and jump at my back, when strength lacks
With venomous ways, it's torturous but I learned to strike back

Every bad night is awaken by an even brighter day,
And while the moon hides low, the sun comes to brighten the way
So fight for today, tomorrow might not come burden free
Think better thoughts, unlock better locks, and better is what you'll be

Somethings are better left unsolved, I'm not Sherlock Holmes
But I'm a detective who detected how to fight wars, with out leaving my home
I'm blacked out with no emotion, frozen over and told that I cant shine
They tried to take my light, but I'm to bright, when I scribble out a rhyme

And as the rain drops fall, we all stand up taller
We all get manipulated, we're all wearing a shock collar
It doesn't matter the reason, that you're hiding in the dark
Every last soul, has a route to it's heart, through its spark


Details | Lyric | |

park bench

And it feels like the world's dying
But only for me on the inside
And this is like a butterfly in a storm
Such beauty swept and blown away
The smiles of the people pertrude in the dark
The faces aren't seen and the grins aren't real
Lightheaded but my body keeps sinking lower
lungs dried up from all the coughing
people walk past and see cigars in my hand
drunken eyes are shown the way by simple lies
No matter what skin is shed or what hair is cut away
I still smell you taste you breath you but can't see you
Sit on a bench I let the cold sink in my bones
Numbness has already filled me I wonder if it shows?
Two more drags then the embers are stomped away
I try to include my worries and pains in the minute blaze
Another day a painting I've brushed on my face for them to see
Another day I think it's easier for it to just fade away


Details | Ballad | |

When the Lavender Returns

As cold as ice
Wrapped round your brain
And darkness unfolds
You’re breathing in pain

It’s been freezing here   
In this Land of Shattered Dreams 
It’s been freezing here 
This corrupted winter stings 

It’s been freezing here  		
(Où est la Lavande?)
Your body can’t stay warm  	
(Où est la Lavande?)
 It’s been freezing here  		
(Où est la Lavande?)
This cruel and criminal storm  	
(Où est la Lavande?)

But don’t give up
Don’t despair
Taste the hope 
Floating through the air

When the lavender returns
It’ll warm your frozen bones
Vivid violet clothes
In their candy overtones

When the lavender returns
It’ll race across the land
Rebel flower grows
In the palm of your free hand

If you look out your window
The ground’s parched and bare
If you call for your lover
She’s no longer there
If you ponder your life
Well, it feels like a wreck
And your failures are scars
You can never forget

As leaves turn brown
Sky fades to grey
You’re feeling the drought
The end of the day

It’s been lonely here
In this World of Fallen Souls
It’s been lonely here
With nowhere left to go

But don’t give up
Don’t despair
Taste the hope 
Floating through the air 

When the lavender returns
It’ll warm your frozen bones
Vivid violet clothes
In their candy overtones 

When the lavender returns   	
(Où est la Lavande?)
It’ll race across the land 	         
(Où est la Lavande?)
Rebel flower grows  			
(Où est la Lavande?)
In the palm of your free hand   	
(Où est la Lavande?)

When the lavender returns    	
(Où est la Lavande?)
It’ll warm your frozen bones   	
(Où est la Lavande?)
Vivid violet clothes  			 
(Où est la Lavande?)
In their candy overtones  		 
(Où est la Lavande?)


Details | Lyric | |

The Yoke Of Frankenstein

I seek a place that leaves no trace
Of venomous blood and tainted heart
I seek a place that holds only grace
Of righteous hearts and caring thoughts
I seek a place that broods not on hate
But of a tranquilized soul and an intellectual eye
I seek a place that is haven to a guilt-filled heart
Let it not, Oh! Wretched Passionate heart!!
Let me not succumb to such ardency
Let me not, dear god! Yield in to such tyranny
To extract such murky ardor is all I ask
I dine with seething lassitude brought forth by such a task
Dear nature where has it gone, my obliged gratitude 
From you, I have averted a heart
That comes to you now seeking! Asking! Groveling! For pardon
Almighty nature, which once has soothed a brute within me
Please! Dear god! I beg thee do not forsake
I come to you humbly meekly seeking an unfeasible amnesty
For I drown in to the abyss of thirst of farfetched enlightenment
And only now I know“how dangerous is the acquirement of knowledge, and how 
much happier that man is who believes his native town to be the world, than he who 
aspires to become greater than his nature will allow.”

*Inspired by Frankenstein’s tormented conscious *


                                                                                                    ~M.M.M


Details | Rhyme | |

Black and White

You’ve maddened me to the core 
You singed me with your ferocious fire
We’re opposites… we’ll never integrate  
We can’t blend with each other…
Your love and I’m hate 
We’re contrary to each other…

So don’t even think about 
Getting us back together 
Because without a doubt, 
We don’t click with each other…

So let us go our own way…

Everything’s black and white
You love to torture me with your deceptive devices 
We’re playing this chess match – let’s fight!
Tonight, you’re going to pay the prices
You’re going to be deleted from my mind…

I’m not the one that should pay the price
You act as if you’re an angel from heaven
But, you’re a fiend…a devil from hell...who needs your advice?
Could someone unchain me from this prison?

So let us prepare for that day…

Fear and bewilderment build inside of our minds
Taking over us…we’re wasting valuable time
Terror and wrath injects into our veins…time starts to unwind 
I’m regaining my glory…this moment feels so sublime  

You think you’re innocent?
I can sense your guilt…bleeding through you
Do you live to feed me anguish? 
Don’t deny it…you crafty demon…no wonder I feel blue

Let’s get ready for battle…
I’ll watch you decay…
IT’S PAY BACK TIME . . .
Taste my fury and my agony 

Everything’s black and white
You love to torture me with your deceptive devices 
We’re playing this chess match – let’s fight!
Tonight, you’re going to pay the prices
You’re going to be defeated…

I scream before nightfall
I close my eyes to kiss my demise
I want to disappear 
Scratch away my desolation
Wipe away my tears…
Spewing out of my eyes…like a waterfall
Tonight, there will be dismay
There will be suffering 
After sundown…
Failure and glory will expose like stars in the midnight sky
Who will earn the crown? 
No one knows in silent wars – who can reveal the light in goodbye
  
Why are we black and white?
Are you too afraid to know the reason why? 

Everything’s black and white
You love to torture me with your deceptive devices 
We’re playing this chess match – let’s fight!
Tonight, you’re going to pay the prices
You’re going to suffer alone…


Details | Lyric | |

Lacerated Wings

They are bound to the Earth like trees
Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave 
Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen
Hoping that one day someone will see:
They can't escape with lacerated wings

The ocean surrounds me, covering everything
Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming
No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die
Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find
I can't escape with lacerated wings.

Swarms of nets, waves of screams 
Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams
The mask has be seared - The truth now they see
The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief
And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings

There's reasons for your rejections:
Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression
The scars are too deep to pass the trials
But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals
You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings


Details | Lyric | |

UNNOTICED, UNSEEN

I woke up one day
Unnoticed, unseen
The sparrows were chirping
Did not mind me between

I poked them gently
The sparrows got scared
Seeing them fly
I went mad

I ran out into the streets
Naked and free
Hurled pebbles on passersby
Watched them flee with glee

I felt like a king
In this blind men’s paradise
Shocking poor fellows at will
Making fun of their cries

I was shaken hard
By someone I could not see
I rubbed my eyes
Could see only darkness around me

It was my mother
She put me on her lap
Tears filled my eyes
As I went into recap

I wished my dreams were true
I could see the world go blind
Why O Lord, 
You robbed away my sight
What was my fault, 
You made me Blind


Details | Lyric | |

Never Fight Alone

I got mad. Didn't know how to use my energy. So I made this song on the piano. I want to sing it with my brother when he's better. I hope he does get better soon. 
Dedicated to David. Just been so angry lately. And so sad. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Verse I: (David) I was alone What can I say? I was lost Couldn't pray I was trapped In their games I regret it Everyday Verse II: (Laura) I was jaded By my sin Never sweated Anything Couldn't sleep Couldn't dream I was scared Of everything Chorus: (David) Within me lies a battle A war I just can't fight alone Can you hear me now? Will you hear me out? Before I lose the struggle I'm begging for some help right now We need to take a stand I need to be a man Laura: Your heart is in my hand Both: (You) I will not fight alone Verse IV: (David) I'm losing faith Can't find the way Can't erase The things I say I see the world Instant pain! If I'm anything I'm insane Verse V: (Laura) Don't talk that way! Just look at me! You are stronger Then I'll ever be! I pulled you in I pushed you free I was foolish Please come back to me Chorus: (David) Within me lies a battle A war I just can't fight alone Can you hear me now? Will you hear me out? Before I lose the struggle I'm begging for some help right now We need to take a stand I need to be a man Laura: Your heart is in my hand Both: (You) I will not fight alone Within me lies a battle A war I just can't fight alone Can you hear me now? Will you hear me out? Before I lose the struggle I'm begging for some help right now We need to take a stand I need to be a man Laura: Your heart is in my hand We'll never fight alone Never Fight Alone


Details | Free verse | |

Glisten in the Moonlight

Your glorious emerald eyes 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Delight dances in the water
I watch it joyfully
You are set free from the cage...
You're like a dove soaring in the sky
You are the rain...
drizzling down in ecstasy 
A hint of ecstasy is shown in your reflection...
When you caress me... I'm relieved... 
From the stress that forced me in chains
I knew we'd be on the brighter side of tomorrow 
We're glistening in the moonlight 
I knew we'd become candles in the heavens above us
We're glistening in the moonlight
For a moment, I felt your presence...your radiant with sympathy 
I saw at first glance the dark side of you
Tonight, we'll be together and fly through the horizon 
We'll watch the sunset say its last goodbye...
We'll wave a greeting at the moon! 
We glisten in the moonlight...
What if I was as handsome as the lion...
Roaring with pride and pure courage
What if we were glistening in the moonlight?
Would it bring health to our bones tonight?
Would it make our heart rejoice and overflow with delight?
Would we be able to survive this horrifying plight?
Would we be shimmering like a candlelight?
We're glistening in the moonlight... (6)
Ohh...yeah...ooh yeah...ooh yeahh...
We reach to the stars and hope we can trace a shooting star
I feel the coolness run down my fingers...
We're glistening in the moonlight
You're the dandelions in the fields
You're the gorgeous view that I marvel at everyday
When you kiss me, I live my dreams
We glisten in the moonlight
In a quick moment, I sense a feeling of endless renewal 
I roam inside of your illuminating maze 
Glow on... sunshine... 
Glow on...sunshine...
Glisten in the moonlight...
Listen to the truth and rub it in
You are ravishing like the sunset
But you're ascending while I'm descending
I feel extremely guilty
I wish I could glisten with you in the moonlight
You're glistening in the moonlight (6) 
Ohhh yeahh... oohhh yeahh... ohh yeahh
You're glistening in the moonlight (4)
We go our own way
I wish we can glisten like the moon
Glisten like the sun 
There's a dream concealed inside of me...
Reveal your light and pour it upon me
You glisten in the appealing moonlight
While I'm subsiding... you're fulfilling your dreams
Of gliding across the horizon 
You're independence... keeps on scorching with satisfaction
While I'm below you... 
Your emerald green eyes
Stared me down like a hawk...
Your emerald eyes
Gaze down at me genuinely...
I wish we could flee together in reality...
That could be a possibility
To glisten in the moonlight in glee
We were glistening in the moonlight (3)
But that was only a dream...
I'll pray that it turns into a reality
We were glistening in the moonlight 
Now, I've misplaced my delight...
Will I ever experience such a brilliant night?


Details | Ballad | |

Antigone

I am the face of misery
My life, a dissonance of autumn and spring,
The years are written in the same
Lugubrious, nostalgic grey
How can it be the author to blame?
I cannot scream this all away…
Burn nor Bleed this all away…
To Death I am Ordained

Lacuna ever growing
With Velvet sheets of life flowing
Aeons apart of my "royalty"
Under the mask the cannot see...
Can you dispel this tragedy:
Antigone - Epiphany failing

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

No words of hope
No words of hate
Do I have Lenore to send to me:
The sordid child of Thebes
Caught In the longest nightmare
life - the slowest way to die

I know this is my life 
But I'm not under control
under the mask the will see
Just Another Human

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

Can you dispel my life; this tragedy?
Can you control the storm in my mind?
I'm asking you: can you rid me
Of The Curse of Antigone?


Details | Lyric | |

Tears

You stand in the crowd
Stare at the sky
You look around 
And wonder why
You feel so alone 
Caught up in your pain
you feel like no one 
Can take it away

And the people walk by
Like you don't exist
You hold in the tears 
And try not to cave in...

The words cut you deep 
Leaving Scars
Where no one can see 
Deep in your Heart
You lock yourself up 
Alone in your room 
And cry yourself to sleep 
So you yourself can bloom

And the people walk by
Like you don't exist 
You hold in the tears
And try not to cave in...

And you drag your heart
On a golden chain
Right from the start 
To take away the pain

And the people walk by
Like you don't exist
You hold in the tears
And try not to cave in....

So let those tears fall


Details | Lyric | |

No Good Morning Sunshine

I lie awake thinking of the agony of it all. 
A hold ripped into my heart. 
The pain of loss and what might have been. 
How can there be life without life.

My stomach rots with pain. 
Love lost because of honor before desire.
Oh God, what is to become of me now.

I fear not death! 
I have already died a death worse than death. 
In death the pain of life comes to it's end.

Then what is this death with pain. 
A death knowing there will be no,
Good Morning Sunshine...

Edward J Ebbs - Summer 2006


Details | Lyric | |

A Tragedy at Midnight

And the clock strikes twelve
Her blood turns to ice
The crows are screaming
The child is sleeping
The fire licks her feet
As she silently prays
And the angels cry
And the corpses dance
And the lost souls
Are found at lasts
When the child wakes
To a ruin of ash
And sees the body
Of her mother
And the body
Of her father
And the body 
Of her sister
Picked clean by ghouls
As she drifts to join them
And then she stares
At her own dead body
Just laying there.


Details | Lyric | |

My Plea

If I was a woman
Tied up in chains
Would I lie there and take it
Or would I fight till the end.

See I am a woman
I fall again and again
Not always but my hand
But I always avenge

But this… time.. I’m tired
My whole life, has been a fight
I keep rising from those.. ashes
They say I’m stronger in life,
But this time I’m tired
And I want to give in.
Cuz this time I’m tired……
Please God…..
Let me give in
Please God,..
let  me   give   in.


Details | Ballad | |

Voice in the Night

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Call of hope
After the world turned dark

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Healing words
Made from
Angel heart

Oh, her chocolate whisper
Warm convincing breeze
Oh, her breathy laughter
In the shadow of my need 

Don’t you hear the voice?
Save  you from despair
Don’t you hear the voice?
Sent by ghosts who care

Don’t you hear the voice?
Rises like a prayer
Come to rescue you
From your earthly snare

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Call of hope 
Kissed my tears away

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Now I dance
To a magic serenade

Don’t you hear the voice?
Memories of home
Don’t you hear the voice?
Pretty as a poem

Don’t you hear the voice?
Vivifies your soul
Bathes you in a pool 
Love you’ve never known

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Call of hope
After the world turned dark

Voice inside the darkness
Gets into my head
Lady caller,
Take me, take me
To your bed

Voice inside the darkness
Gets into my head
Lady caller
Raise me, raise me
From the dead

Voice inside the darkness
Gets into my head


Details | Lyric | |

Mommas Loving Hand On CD

Momma knows her girl ain't crazy,
Still hearing those wedding vows,
It never ceases to amaze me,
What she's going through even now,
While cryingly she goes on...sharing mommas loving hand,

She's cried a month of Sundays,
Felt the slamming door,
Hoping maybe someday,
Love is evermore,
In the rising and setting suns...of having a good man,

She's been tried by the Devil,
Felt the upperhand,
Been so dissheveled,
Trying to understand,
Now her life must go on...without that wedding band,

She's cried a month of Sundays,
For the man she knew before,
Hoping maybe someway,
Love is evermore,
Now her life must go on making new plans.

She's been walked on a bit,
And still has those crying fits,
O-O-O-O-Oh! Lord!
Even I can read her lips,
Now an ex-wife must be strong, trying to understand,
How her life must go on, without that wedding band,
She has mommas loving hand.

On CD from Nashville...502-290-7524  in no ans.. leave message..







She's been walked on a bit,
And still has those crying fits,
O-O-O-O-Oh! Lord!
Even I can read her lips!
How an ex-wife must be strong, trying to understand,
How her life must go on, without that wedding band,
She has mommas loving hand.



I wrote this when my sister was going through her divorce.  I have this one on a CD.


Details | Free verse | |

Giving In To The Gray

Overwhelmed with fear I whispered into the rain
Disarming defenses, Giving in to the gray 
Tearing down all of my shelter within my hollowed decay
While this echoing silence gave every tear drop a name
They begin filling the voids with mundane hopes for a change
Heaven will save me from this hell and blue skies will reign
Lazily lay in green grass watching clouds drift away
It's all but a deflated dream now that the colors have changed
My thoughts have become restless noise of uncertainties rearranged
Damning all of my emotions, lies decorated with grace
Now I stand with a hardened heart in the sobering autumn rain 
I'm disarmed and defenseless, Giving in to the gray


Details | Lyric | |

Miles

I write
my late night revelations
paint an image so clear-
so precise-
as if fine-tuned with a microscope.
I see the truth.
I now realize that what I need-
I want-
is YOU.
I don't know how I am going to make you see,
make you feel...
I need to make you know.
A simple touch is all I need
to delve into your mind and infect you.
But how to reach you?
You are hidden far away
within your own mind,
in maze of your own design.
Between us locked doors and endless traps,
mountains,
valleys,
rivers, lakes, oceans,
miles and miles of 
impassible terrain that keeps me apart,
keeps me from you!
We are two universes set to collide-
not to be destroyed,
but merge into one.
Set to collide, but keep missing our mark.
This is unbeknownst to you.
I keep the secrets within me.
How much longer can I wait-
how much longer until my silence
consumes me?
Until you break me?
I am deserted, alone,
left in desolation.
You are the answer to the questions,
the key to my freedom.
But you cannot reach me.
And you do not know what you are.
How much longer til my time runs out?


Details | Lyric | |

We Counted You as Family

The tears burn my skin as they stream down my face
Dripping slowly to the floor
Crashing and shattering on impact
Just as the many pieces of my broken heart have done
You betrayed all of us
It did not matter that we loved you as our own, as family
Like a thief with no thought of the consequences
You stole something so precious 
You took away the innocence of my child 
Crushing it as if it were nothing more than dirt beneath your feet
You show no remorse for what you have done
Only sadness for the verdict that will send you away
An animal is what you are 
Stalking your prey and gaining their trust
Using their faith against them
Luring your victim into your clutches 
Then taking away the life that is within them
Even the title of child rapist is too kind for you
My beliefs are stained by the blackness of your soul
My heart is hardened by your selfishness 
The evil inside of you has demolished something within me
Yet it has not consumed me
You have no respect for the unity that we tried to share with you
We were merely a stomping ground for your greed and lust
Nothing you do can replace what you have taken from us
No pain that you suffer can compare to the agony you have caused us
You cared nothing for the laws of men or God
My faith is lost to many because of men like you
I can’t help but wonder how anyone could be so cruel


Copyright © 2010 Lena “Lolita” Townsend


Details | Lyric | |

Garden Rose

Written August 21, 2013


There's a girl in the garden
She's messing with your rose bed
Plucking weeds out from your head
And watering the seeds in your bed

But where will she wander
When the roses are dead
Will she come back for more
When they turn back to red

She can run all alone
Write this story in stone
On concrete slabs
Of skin and bone


Details | Lyric | |

Dribble A Drop

Let it trickle
Dribble a drop
From the Tip
Of the Top
Till it sits
on the rocks
a little sip
then it flops
another is sick
Hit up Doc
here's another hit
Hear it pop
Pills will slit
Big willed thoughts
Like a wrist
Do not watch
the skin split
Like gymnasts' crotch 
Sorry a bit
Going for shock
Not even wit
Just mental block


Details | Lyric | |

The Things You Wish You Could Erase

Sitting on the edge of the bridge
Holding unto that bottle of beer
The same beer that he drank 
The night he killed those people
Flashback in his brain
Gripping unto the bottle
nearly breaking it
hes sitting behind the wheel
Picks up the beer bottle 
Takes another sip
He sees the car
But gently closes his eyes
The women slams on her breaks
Her son in the back seat
The cars crash
Her car rolls down the hill
His car slamming into 
The side of bridge gates
The gates holding him steady
He gently steps out of his car
Seeing the smoke 
A gray car laying in the river
Below the bridge hes standing on
He runs down there 
Running through the water
the top of the car barely noticable
He helps the young women out
Not knowing about the little boy
In the back seat
She yells
"my son... my son"
She points to the vehicle
She takes her last breathe
Lays there helplessly
The man drags the little boy out of the car
A scratch on his forhead
Not breathing at all
The man cries
Trying to wake the kid up
Knowing they are both up in heaven
He vanishes
Several years later
He sits on the bridge
Holding the bottle
Has a child of his own
A wife of his own
Waiting at home for him
His son an hour before 
Wanted to walk to the bridge
With him
But the man just said no
The young boy just stayed home
His father never came back
They found him 
Floating in the same river
The women and her son were in

~Dedicated to Tommy~


Details | Free verse | |

Words of Life

Drowning in the pool of anguish…oh…oh…
I’m venturing into the forest…and I want to hear the words seep out 
Release these aching sorrows…I worry my soul’s drying out…
like a drought…
Drain out the fluids from my heart
It’s gouging me…bruising me to the core…

**chorus** 
Embrace the light…embrace the midnight sky…
You fall in my arms – you die so warm
Shed me more sun to lift up my spirits
From the…underground…and release me – I’m breathless
I’m drowning in doubt…ooh… oh… 


Remember me…I’m falling…into my swirling fate…hanging on the roots 
Strangling my heart…distorting in my veins… I’m bleeding so softly – cut out the wood…
Splintering me…I’m shattering… and I’m falling in the abyss
Bring me more radiance from my candle light
Warp me up in bliss…don’t let the midnight sky…don’t take away my delight
From the…ocean…and save me—save me…oh… oh…  I’m failing 

*chorus*

I’m drowning in regret…ooh..oh…
Hit the bull’s eye in my heart…embrace the light
And don’t leave me hanging in the abyss…hand me a kite!
Save me before I fall apart…shut out the night
And don’t let the dusk escape us…

I must confess…
I must confess…
I hate to see you abandon the light…
But I’m not the one to save you from the night
Ooh…ohh…

*Chorus* 

Splintering lies fill your heart 
I want to kiss it goodbye…
But you’ve mastered it like a piece of art
I want to kiss the abyss and die…
Dry… I wanna touch the sky with my whole soul
But I’m failing and the end of time has taken its toll
Tainted sorrow…swims around me…I dwell where the waters depart
But the anguish still swarms in my heart…
I’m failing…my heart stops beating
And my desires are fleeting
From my grasp
And the monsters laugh at me…as I fall… 

*chorus*

Embrace the midnight sky…catch me…catch me…
As I fall in death’s arms…I die so cold
And your heart is made of gold

Untangle the darkness & take away the nightmares 
Answer our prayers & block out the night 
Erase the heartaches & wipe away our tears
Unravel Your words of life & delight


Details | Lyric | |

Changed

If i were to tell you that my heart is gray
What would you do to make it red again?
If i were to say that i dont miss you
Would you understand my pain?
If i were to show you how much you mean
Would you notice that my heart stopped beating?
If i were to picture things in my mind to be perfect
What would you do to tell me things wont ever be the same?
If you were to tell me your heart was gray
I would give you mine in place of yours
If you were to say that you dont miss me
I would understand your pain
If you were to show me how much i mean
I would notice that your heart stopped beating
If you were to picture things in your mind to be perfect
I Would tell you that they are, your just ignoring it
I would tell you how big of a part you are in my life
I would say to you that you are my hero
I would show you my scars and heal your wounds
I would picture us in a place that does not harm love
If you could see the hole in my heart 
Would you bother to fix it 
Or would you let it fall apart?


Details | Free verse | |

Draconian II

[The Puppeteer]
The storm I see you in
Caught in the race of Caïn
Held by the arms you cannot see--the conducter of Ennui 
-No stronger than the void you hold within-
It began with a hope, an obsession
Casted into, slavery of repugnant possessions 
Granted by, the Avaricious Lords, the ones we serve for
-They Told Us to pray, hope, away from despair, the despair caused by their immaculate Hands
Malice, envy, greed, was granted to me, The Feudal Dream, we want to be Them, just like him
-just how he solaces us, ambivalent hope, engendering knives to my throat 

[The Fall]
In this Valley of morning and weeping
Love lies bleeding, in desperate fear
With their talons, the hunt to rip out thy heart 
As each velvet petal falls apart
Her body chained in their bile and lies, covered with their red-spy
-sent just to check if our souls are in line, do not defy 
Her blood velvet and pure, drips away with innocence of the amber guardian 
The soil of plagues, beggars, and graves
Is know her home, the coven of solace
Though the seed has died--resurrection Is near passing through death's fear
One stronger than you--and thy funeral skies
She is alive--anew
But the vapors still remain
The Apocalypse is here, do we fear?
Just for the death of our sins
Elysia never Seemed so far away

[Our Damnation]
Solitary ruins, Fulfill their visions
We strayed far from the depths within 
We all lingered to his solace--lies
-you make the sign everyday, but lack toknow the name
We are just the toys, he pulls all of the strings
We are nothing in this burning world
of Decadence, and Failed Semblance

[Draconian] 
Draconian--Reach for the shadows within
Draconian--Break from the Fallen's son
Draconian--Their empirical lies, only die
Draconian--Reach the shadows within


Details | Lyric | |

Elysium Dream of Love

I close my weary eyes
Holding onto the hope
Of not having to cope
Not a mintue longer
Without you by my side
Not expierencing
The warm look in your eyes
The tingling rush of your finger tips
That would grip my hair tight
To stop you from slipping into the night
Biting  your bottom lip
As a pinch to yourself
To see if it was real
The dream of love we felt
And now that you are gone
I only wish to die
Your image fades from my mind
Sometimes I see it clear,
The sun is skillfully stroking it set in the sky
As my feet float down the road across the tuscan country side
I ever so gently sense the wildy grown wheat
Tickling these troubled lines engraved in the palm of my hand
I playfully pick one out of the land and pluck the grains
I look up and in the distance is where she waits
But there she remains peacefully strolling through the calming field
In a white cotton dress that tails off in the wind and
wearing a small confident smile that makes my yearning heart yield
Whispering in my ear that soon I will make it home
But my Life's journey must continue down this God paved road
I awake with the longing of her, But with so much to do
I need God's strength for one more day to get through


Details | Lyric | |

You Never Told Me

You never told me you didn’t really ever love me,
I can’t believe how crass and cruel you could be.
What possessed you my Darlin’ to act as such,
When I loved and cared for you—oh so very much!

Our love was always something quite bold and unique,
Your voice, touch, scent, smile formed this very mystique.
You beguiled me ever with your false expressions of trust,
Only to go elsewhere to satisfy your desires of carnal lust.

I once felt we were on top of the world with a love oh so rare,
Only to find our love’s a cruel joke and this I can never bear!
With this my very hopes and dreams burn in a fiery storm of doubt,
And your actions my dear sweet Darlin’ only double my redoubt!  

Our emotions, passions, joy, and warmth now are nevermore,
As I stare into this frightful chasm of despair I can only abhor!
My soul now cries out in a raging storm of outrage and fury,
And you my Darlin’ no longer deserve my love—only my fury!

I once gave you my true love and boundless passion from my heart,
Only to see you laugh and ridicule my very feelings from the start!
And so now my Darlin’ it’s your turn to cry and feel sublime despair,
As you realize my love and feeling for you are gone and I no more care!

You never told me you didn’t really ever love me,
I can’t believe how crass and cruel you could be.
What possessed you my Darlin’ to act as such,
When I loved and cared for you—oh so very much!

Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved, Schoeningen, Germany 
(November 15, 2014) (Rhymed Lyric poetic format)


Details | Lyric | |

Come As You Are

At one point in my life i was an artist
I used to paint and draw
Covering a piece of paper
In beautiful colors
And my art told a story
The sort of story you couldn't talk about
I used to go to school every day
Showing up late 
Wasn't something I'd do
But i dropped out
Leaving my education behind
I played the bass guitar
In a band called 
The Nocturnal
My fingers ran against that bass
Pure magic
The sound of the gods
Setting out to destroy the world
Pure Punk straight from Seattle
At one point i was clean
Sober and pure like a new born baby
Falling further into 
What you now call 
"disapointment"
Screwing up my veins
with every shot of herion
Killing my brain cells
With every joint i smoked
Clogging up my nose 
With every pill you could have known
I used to write lyrics
About my life
My childhood
I used to write journals
The ones you read in the book 
that was published of me
I got up on that stage every night
As i was
Nothing fake
Nothing glamourous
Only a few scars
One shot of heroin
Come as you are
The words only speak for 
Themselves


Details | Lyric | |

In my corrupt stead

Draped from her body, they sparkle like gold. Tear soaked and smothered, in lies that she's told. She wears them ashamed, but she wears them with grace. To cover the pain, that is etched in her face. 
  It's her mark, it's her passion, her reason to breathe. As shallow and weak, as pathetic can be. 
  For the last time I saw her, was the last place she laid. Where I held her so close, deep down in her grave. No more to be seen, no more to betray. Damned and unheard, while she cried out in vain. 

Don't pity the evil, corrupt and forsaken. Who've strayed from the path, that they should have taken. It's all self inflicted, they live unrestricted. But on this their last day, they'll all be convicted. 

Etched in his body, the scars will remain. Blood soaked in madness, he's nearly insane. He wears them in anger, but he wears them with pride. To expose to the world, all his hate that's inside. 
  It's his mark, it's his passion, his reason to breathe. As shallow and weak, as cruel as can be. 
  But the last place I saw him, was the last time he raged. Where I beat him and broke him, deep down in his grave. No more to be seen, no more to be heard. Damned and destroyed, underneath all his dirt. 

Don't pity the evil, corrupt and forsaken. Who've strayed from the path, that they should have taken. It's all self inflicted, they live unrestricted. But on this their last day, they'll all be convicted.

Now sift through my ashes, gather up all my bones. Let him without sin, cast the first stone. Pile me up in a bucket, and leave me to stay. So I can face my creator, on my judgement day. 
 It's my life, it's my passion, it's what I believe. As misunderstood, as reckless can be. 
  For the last time you saw me, was the last time I prayed. Where I dug my own hole, and laid down in my grave. No more to be hated, no more to be feared. For in my corrupt stead, an angel appeared. 


Details | Lyric | |

It's Not Over

Don’t say it’s all over (cause it’s not)
“Sorry” won’t cover it…so don’t go on your knees and pray for my forgiveness 
Oh baby…don’t listen to the commotion…I’m done taking cover (it’s all for naught)
I’m plummeting in slow motion…into the remorseful pit…I’m plummeting in my nightmare’s abyss

I want to carry you through the night… 
I’m swimming in the ocean of my tears… 
My sodden wings lost its ability of flight…
You've been swimming in your distress for years… 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

I want to remind you to fight the good fight…
My misery pools are brewing inside of my head…
I’m backing away from the light & exploring the night… 
You’re giving in to sleep and I’m wide awake on my bed 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

Please don’t tell me…oh, don’t tell me…darling!
You’re giving up today… (I beg you to stay, despite your inner pain) 
I’m scared I might erupt – it could be quite startling!
Someday, things will change for the better… (Don’t turn the wrong lane)
I’m waiting for that day to arrive – perhaps it will wash away our dismay…

I promise you a tranquil reality 
I want to stray with you tonight 
I still have hope that He’ll set us free
I was wondering if you could stay the night
Maybe the Lord could grant us 
Pure, incredible delight 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we've plunged into our own pit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to gather…


Details | Lyric | |

Turmoil

With sorrow in my heart and hope in my soul I look to the future with only a dream 
to carry me to tomorrow.


Details | Ballad | |

Zero

I was born pale and invisible
In a world
Sees everything 
Everything, everything….but me

Invisible to your touch
And doubt you’ll like me very much
Am I alive?
Was I ever me?

I’m a non-existent cipher
A pointless empty zero
Never added up to anything
A non-existent cipher
Pointless empty zero
Tell me….what does it all mean?

And now I think I want you
Ethereal body
Oblivious mask
And now I think I love you
Intelligent lips
Painted in black

But no need to look my way
Or give me the time of day

Can’t be with you 
In this world
Invisible man 
Never gets the girl

Oh, no...

I’ll find where you are
And watch from afar
You will be felt by me

I’ll find where you are
And watch from afar
You will be loved by me

Your 
Zero 
Tonight
Your 
Zero 
For life
Your zero
The day I die

Your zero….your zero

Zero


Details | Lyric | |

Soup

Findings of friends in this hot soup
Steamy weather, a pigeons coop
Lean on my eyeballs
Ill SEE What I can do?
before the sky Falls in on YOU


Details | Lyric | |

I Deserve to Be Loved

All the women who knew me growing up
Told me they could never see me in the way
As a man that they could see themselves with
They would tell me I would find somebody one day

But to me, that was not good enough
I tried to give them my heart
They all thought I was tough
But the truth is, I was not

I suffered after each time I got shot down
I guess I will never know why
They never saw me as an interesting man
I knew that I was a very nice guy

But I guess that was not what they wanted
In a man they could see themselves with
Their choices used to have me haunted
Because again, I was willing to give them

All that I could possibly give
And not a day goes by
Where I realize for as long as I shall live
I deserve to be loved just like all of you


Details | Rhyme | |

Living Without

I tried to write about love but I haven’t felt it. 
I tried to write about the sea but I’ve never seen it. 
Then I tried to write about the air, but I have never breathed it. 
I tried to write about magic but I never believed it.
I couldn’t write about god, all I have ever done is sinned.
And when I tried to write about life I found, 
I have never really lived.


Details | Lyric | |

Nature's Sigh

The Black butterfly waves away her adorations
All she seeks is seclusion, subsuming slave to mortification
The Dear Air is all she can breath, captive of imaginary dreams
The Beacon resonates, but the hope isolates
The Wasteland's silky fingers caressing the virgin's face

So she is now, the covet of the damned
Programmed to every victim's pain
Carrying the weight of every sorrow
Drowning in wrongs she does not know
But paradise is at loss; she must go

Nature sighs after the bite
All my hopes fading
Don't look at me with those sorrowful eyes
How do you know exactly what I'm feeling?
I'm just the ghost flower passing by
And you can hear nature's sigh


Details | Rhyme | |

Death by Beauty

A smile moves across her lips
She gazes at her crime
A scar across her flesh and soul
To haunt her for all time
She’ll waste away for all she cares
Never stops to use her brain
Doesn’t care about the ones who are close
All she cares about is pain

She wants to be what the others expect of her
Doesn’t care about the self-respect for her
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Can’t she see what all she has got
Already?

Never to go back again
She feels the world is at an end
She will never show her grief
Although she’ll cry in empty streetS

She’d sooner live like a desolate mole
Living in fear in an empty hole
Screaming silent wails alone
Content to live in her mental home

A final tear falls from her eye
It hits the ground, it’s followed by
A beautiful body, mutated by hate
A kind word could have stopped it, but it is too late
One two many bricks in the wall in her mind
Molding her demise because her heart was blind
This self conscious being could never have won
For she was destroyed by the beautiful ones

She wouldn’t fight back, wouldn’t respect herself
In the end, she managed only to wreck herself
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Little did she know, she had all she had sought
Already


Details | Lyric | |

The Revenant

Awake the child that ached for years
The frightened man, ashamed of fear
I hold too tightly to this place
The reverence that lead to waste

Silent virtue comes undone
The burning pain, and dying sun
I can’t recall what I did want
And all that’s left is dead and gone

Innocence was spent on pain
My mind was twisted; left insane
The heart that tried to rise above
Was left alone because it never could

Depth and silence masquerade
The embodiment of all I say
My shadow crawling closer now
As I begin to question how

The misery that took my breath
Refracts itself until my death
This mirror world that will not break
Reflects to me all of my mistakes

Awake the ice that I’ve become
This destiny has overrun
The fallen centuries that I’ve felt
And all the heartache I have dealt

The vision of a child is gone
The fearful man has come upon
The image of a dying world
What’s left behind – no longer held


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.


Details | Lyric | |

Save Me

Save Me
By: IzaDonna

Look in the mirror
Do you recognize her
Do you see the coldness in her eyes
Do you see where the darkness lies
Hidden secrets of the past
To late, the spells been cast
And as the stars arise
My own self will be my demise

Chorus:
So you think you can save me
Finally set my retched soul free
Be my ultimate savior
You thinking ur doing me a favor
But just let me alone
My fate is only my own

I get u try and u care
But thru it all u weren't there
I cant move on from my past
The agony I feel will always last
The knife is in way to deep
So let me shut my eyes and sleep
Cause u can't fix whats already broken
The pain I feel is better left unspoken

Chorus

So as the darkness creeps in
I feel I'm paying for my sins
No way to escape
My soul is yours to take
Just let me bleed these tears
Just let me lay here
Looking up at the sky
I ask God why

Chorus

Cause you can't fix what isn't broken
The pain is better left unspoken


Details | Lyric | |

I am Yours now

Since I'm not what you want
You can have whatever you want
Take my heart, take my phone
Take it all and leave me alone

Since you hate what I am
You are my type of man
I am yours for a while
I will go that extra mile

I have got to many friends
They drive me round the bend
I survive on your hate
Your rage is also great

I've been searching for new life anyway
I've been for new emotion anyway

Since this is not love
I can do whatever I want
Since this is not fair
I'll do what I want and I wont care

See my words of rage
I am  trapped within your cage
Now that I am yours now
I am yours now
I am yours now


Details | Ballad | |

Isolation

How can I tell you?
I can't stay with you.

Neither I can give up on you.
Fear of losing you is losing me.
It feels like slow death every night.

But we are just stuck in our spaces!
Unable to connect from two feet distance.


Details | Lyric | |

Wasting Time

Way above the street lights
Watching yourself die
Waisting time

They left you in so much pain
You lost everything
For so many years
You pushed me out
Cant describe how i feel

This time im not going to watch myself cry
im not going to bury myself on the inside
You say you want the old me back
If you want me back
Your going to have to ask
Nice than that


Details | Lyric | |

Piece of my Past

walking along the beach today,
i saw you,
you looked at me, then slowly 
walked away,
you had told me that you were 
different from the last,
but you turned out to be 
just a piece of my past,
you really know how to make 
me hurt,
was it love? 'cause im no expert,
i thought it was, at the time,
but now lookin back,
you were never mine.


Details | Lyric | |

Im Sorry

I hope you remember all of the bad things you have done so far
I hope you still have the chance to fix them 
Im sorry it took me forever to write this letter to you
Ive been meaning to save you from what your about to become
For some reason i cant get a grip on it
I dont know what i want to say
I dont know how to help you
Im about to tell you about some of the things you are about to do
Right now your 16
Right now you are sitting on your bed listening to music
Reading a book on your favorite band
Smoking that cigarette
That will soon get you into all the other things that causes more problems for you
Try to avoid the guy you are about to let into your life
Remember that your not allowed to talk to strangers
Remember your mom told you that when you were 7
Its about time you listen to her
You will meet a girl
And you will end up hurting her
Dont take her to that club 
Where your band is about to play
Your not good at singing
And your bass playing still needs some work
Dont embarass yourself
It lowers your self esteem
And you will try to committ suicide
Multiple times
But dont worry 
It doesnt work
So stop trying to 
Kill yourself
Remember the night when you ran away
And went to go live with your aunt
Yea...
Shes about to kick you out
Look under your bed
You will find 500 dollars
You put it there when you were young
You forgot 
Thats why im writing you
Remember it
Take it and use it wisely
Dont use it on the drugs 
Dont use it on the beer
Use it towards a better future
So then i dont have to write this letter again.

12-13-12


Details | Ballad | |

Cassandra

Revelation Said In Stone Appeared an Eon ago of Shame and Sin, Something we all know But not it's rise, For is has already became Virtue Flaming Skies from an Angel So Bright The World's Cure for Soul-Blight A Hell on Earth A Savior's Worth So many Dreams are cast then Forgotten So many lives are brought up then just Thrown back down Maybe she is The Cure Maybe she is The Plan All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim Release me and Burn away this land Hold me by The Hand Tell me the past is just pretend Give me The Cure If this is your destiny Then May it be mine I would die in time I'm Just another Obstacle In the way of your divine Wings Forget me Cassandra For Doom was already meant for me All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim Valkyrie of Heart Angel of Grace I surrender to You Savior by Destiny Dispel all Tragedy Especially me All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim


Details | Lyric | |

God Will

God Will
By Nate Spears
Published 2010 in Inspiration 2 Smile by Nate Spears



When the most difficult times arrive
God will get you by 
When your down to you last penny 
God will stick with you
When it seems impossible 
God want let it stop you
Keep strong faith; strong faith will make it hard 
For any weapon formed against you
That weapon shall not commence you
Faith in GOD is nice
Don't give up
Just trust 
Enclose your palms
Spiritual blessing will combust 
When evil's fired your way
God will make your day.


Details | Lyric | |

Along The Way

I say goodbye
To this chapter in my life
Im sure you will get the answers
When im gone
So when the day comes
The sun will not touch my face
Theres mistakes
The path is long
Look at my face
The stories it could tell 
The ones that wont erase
Tell the ones that cared enough 
That i finally left this place
So play the song
Its something to remind you
When im gone


Details | Lyric | |

I Can't Say It Without You

I was your never ending composer
We spent many a nights, and many an hour together
But now you’re lost inside
And I can’t find my way, again.

( chorus )
Cause I can’t say it without you		
It hurts to be without the feeling		
Never knowing when it will return		
But I know that you would stay with me	
If you came back, again some day		
But till then I’ll wait till you appear.	

I really miss the way you make me feel
People said we were meant to be together
Why’d you leave me so unexpectedly
I hope you come back soon.

( Chorus )

It’s been two months since I’ve written you
All I’ve got to show is crumpled bits of paper
The passion and creativity is now gone
So come back home so I can work it out.	


Details | Lyric | |

Goodbye

Remembering all the things we used to share
things we used to do together
when we were one
crumbling like buring leaves
glue couldnt put them back together
words he used to speak
the air that filled my lungs
Heart beating faster with every word
the feeling disapeared the night it all went wrong
nothing but guilt and tears filled my eyes
praying that the devil would make me yours
and youll be mine again
nothing more is left to say but the word we all fear
Goodbye


Details | Lyric | |

Christmas Blues

Christmas was never about God for me,
it was memories of warm laughter, rosy cheeked joys   	
for if God was the point, whose God would it be?

Xmas was about giving to your protégées.	
Long, long, lost wishes of long broken boy toys,
Christmas was never about God for me.

Winter’s height held the beauty of childhood set free
of hunting and wrapping and folks overjoyed	
for if it was God, we had three, whose God would it be?

This December wonder now past, gone you see,
gone with the cold, I’d not wish despair on July, this killjoy
for Christmas was never about God for me.

Once a year Xmas marks a sad crying spree
with nobody wanting to be home and little joy employed
for if God were the point, my son would be with me?

Perhaps, with grandchildren there be a jubilee
and this hollowed out husk of me will be destroyed
And Christmas will be about God for me
for it could be so, whose god will it be?


Details | Verse | |

The Poetic Blues

I think I self-sabotage unknowingly 
because of fear
So my message goes unheard because I’m afraid to let the people hear
And end up drowning in the poetic blues
doubting my ability to write about the truth;

I dug deeper and deeper into myself trying to write a poem good enough to be free of judgment
Then I stepped out on faith and suddenly I was triumphant 
and my writing grew 
and I was loving it
I had finally passed the fear of speaking and caring about who the fu*c! was judging it

As I wait to be inspired for the next poem, 
I sit and think alone and drown in my sorrows
Listening to jazz, blues and a.m. radio
trying to find an excuse not to perform at the SLAM 
because again I can’t think of a damn thing to write…..
Drowning in poetic blues
Will this be the one that will be thrown away and never be used 

Or will this be the one that transcends the others  
and finally prove that poetry is blues and blues is poetry and hip hop and jazz and r&b, 
Poetry is music and the words dance around in my soul 
and I am free once they become spoken 
In the meantime the paper is where the words will rest 
until the silence is broken

Drowning in the sea of proper delivery 
My voice, my stance, my intensity
How will others interpret the words that I’ve chosen so diligently?
I wrap my soul around the possibility that none of the words I choose – 
will keep me from becoming deluged and trapped by the poetic blues

Somehow my heart refuses to accept that I don’t deserve to have my words heard 
and it takes over this whole process
No more time for shrinking and feeling less
I was born to  make my words manifest light
I am a gorgeous medium to the truth yeah that's right
I was sent here to give you a piece of good news
Remember that God is with you when you get
The poetic blues


Details | Lyric | |

I'm Fed up With This Nasty Life!

I’m fed up with this nasty life
Which is just a series of sorrows,
Which has no happy yesterdays 
And no hopeful morrows.
There’s cure for a man who gets
Injured with swords or arrows,
But nothing can cure the poor man
Who falls victim to your eye’s arrows!
For, sharper are the arrows of your eyes
N’ matchless are the bows of your brows!
Your hair puts clouds to shame!
Your lips beat the rose!
Your smile is quite a lightning!
Your face like moon glows!
You say you'll bless me tomorrow.
My dear! Never come tomorrows!
My heart is so much grief-stricken 
That I only know or God knows.
Though sometimes I’m seen smiling
And some times my face glows,
But the tide of tears that keeps 
Rising in my heart, none knows!
May God grant that it never happens
That two lovers ever turn onto foes!!!


Details | Lyric | |

Despondance

Here without you I feel so numb
Left out in the cold
To walk alone
The broken seams of reality
Would you miss me if I were gone
Or was I never good enough
Mmm I’ll take the shame
Drown me in all your pain

Blame it all on me
I’m just your pins and needles
Being used and abused
And then thrown away
and it's all my fault
Nothing was ever good enough
Good enough I'm not good enough
I was never good enough

The death of you leaves me breathless
If it were only real
But I'm just stumbling around this dream of reality
Waiting for the rain
Hoping for the rain
To wash away the pain
Erase away the shame
But it'll never be good enough

Just blame it all on me
I’m only your pins and needles
Being used and abused
Surrounded by your cancer of lies
Drenched in silence never-ending
And it's all my fault
Nothing is ever good enough
Good enough I'm not good enough
I was never good enough

Weighted so deeply with pain
I’m so sorry.... I disappointed you
Alone and cold I sing my lamentations
Where in the shadows I’m safe I'm free...still I take the pain
I wanted to save you from the dark
But I cannot stay where I don't belong

Still you blame it all on me
I’m just your pins and needles
To be used and and abused
And then washed away
Left alone...empty and forgotten
And it's all my fault
Nothing is ever good enough
Good enough I'm not good enough
I was never good enough
Never good enough


Details | Lyric | |

Farewell

I can't sleep at night
perhaps it is because of this fright.
I'm not scared of the things under my bed,
but of the things inside of my head.
My soul is dead
I wish I was too,
people ask why
I wish I knew.
All I want to do is cry
and I,
come back to the question why.
So why am I here?
To say goodbye
and wish you good cheer
so please don't cry
and don't ask why.


Details | Lyric | |

The Unhappy Moth

She chose a red scarf. The most red 
of them all.
Of a dark red, a sweet and thick red color,
just as wine.

She carved from the red scarf
from the middle
to the size of a Martini glass.

Then she carved one more glass,
and she kept carving 
till she fell asleep.

Yesterday
she saw her Beloved Moth 
flirting with a Younger Moth, 
carving together from a sweater
while she was getting busy,
carving in the shelves.

The Unhappy Moth drank lots of wine
woolen wine, 
last night.
She drank lots, too much
for a Moth.
The Unhappy Moth got drunk
and fell asleep
on the red scarf,
unhidden
with a heart filled with peace.

She was not afraid no more. 
Now she could be seen easily,
laying on the scarf
and easily crushed.

The Unhappy Moth was not 
afraid of death no more,
at least, now she knew 
how wonderful the red scarfs are
and that they taste
like red wine.


Details | Lyric | |

Scarlet Moons and Indian Suns

Written August 29, 2013


She could have had my son
As we'd spell our names as one
On scattered ocean shores
Beneath that Indian sun

I loved my ma
And I loved her well
I loved my pa
And that musty smell

I hope to see them some day soon
I hope to see them smiling too
This Earth they left a bit too soon
Much thanks unto the scarlet moon

Some day well all be joined as one
Under scarlet moons and Indian suns

I love my family
How I miss this feeling
Of constant embrace
Awaiting at my feet

So come and pray for rain
To wash away our pain
Before the winter stains
What autumn left to drain

I hope to see them some day soon
I hope to see them smiling too
This Earth they left a bit too soon
Much thanks unto the scarlet moon

Some day well all be joined as one
Under scarlet moons and Indian suns


Details | I do not know? | |

I am...

I am a poet writing of my pain
I am a person living a life of shame
I am your daughter, hiding my depression
I am your sister, striving to make a great impression
I am your friend acting like I'm fine
I am a dreamer, wishing this life, wasn't mine
I am a girl who struggles with suicide
I am a teenager, pushing her tears aside







Side note: (Writing for other ladies out there, not so much myself, so don't worry about me)


Details | Lyric | |

Broken Glass

Do you hear the horn of the train? 
And the pitter patter of rain?
Listen close do you hear a sound?
Only silence, will she be found?

Who is fragile, who is of strength
How can one know another’s length?
Blind to the mask which hides her tears
Binding her to demons and fears
A fake light remains as she falls
Even while her broken heart stalls
Darkness commences in her soul
Blood loss spirals out of control
What an alluring crimson paint
Overworked artist starts to faint 

Do you hear the horn of the train? 
And the pitter patter of rain?
Listen close do you hear a sound?
Only silence, will she be found?

Why do some dance falsely with death? 
Unable to force their last breath
Her unspoken words of pureness
Soaked deeply in her loneliness
The jagged line of her escape
Leaves the unsuspecting agape
Drawn up on the median vein 
Just a few more moments of pain
Eyes flutter and seconds pass
Then gently falls the broken glass

Do you hear the horn of the train? 
And the pitter patter of rain?
Listen close do you hear a sound?
Only silence, will she be found?
Then gently falls the broken glass






Details | Lyric | |

The End To A Wild Ride

This is the end of all the rollercoasters we have rode
So dont look back
Because the world is going up in smoke
Just ride along with me
We will find eachother when the light goes out

Lost in a Wilderness
Will we find ourselves again
After we have been blown up into peices
Who will survive?
Who will make it to the end?

The clouds will darken
And the sun will go black
There bombs will drop
And Silence our voices

Would we have found the love 
We were searching for in the 60's
Would we have found the peace
We researched in our childhood

Would we have fixed bullying
and told children about Columbine
Would we have stopped the Depression
And told children about the help they can get

Would we be ready when the world ends
Or will we be left in the past
Would we believe in God in time for our ending
Or will we still be selling books on another religion

One day we will forget how to hope and learn how to fear.


Details | Lyric | |

Here Is Gone

Ever thought of something so much
That when you wake up it just automatically
Crawls into your brain cells
Shoots them with laser beams
Until they explode 
And that’s the only thing you have left to think of
Because everything else is fried
Ever wish you could go back and change that night
Wish that you wouldn’t have left her side
That you would have just listened to your heart 
Instead of your gut
Instead of that little voice that echoes
In the back of your head
Ever wished that you wouldn’t be reading this poem
That everything could be like your dreams
Like a family who gets along
Like having a famous relative
Dreaming that you had a better life
More money to spend
More bass guitars to buy
Less drama
Then you find this special someone
Who you can really relate to
And you never want to let them go
But somehow they slip through your fingers
Then your life crumbles 
Falling down like the rain in a thunderstorm
Wishing you could change everything
But you just start over
And try to move on
And somehow end up at the beginning all over again



Details | Lyric | |

Cable

I swear I'm stable. The rope is my agony.
I'll just walk this cable as my feet start to bleed.
This isn't fable. The end is not destiny.
I'll just fall off this cable for nothing is left of me.

I stand in the middle and stare at the ground.
We'll meet rather quickly, I dare to say.
Well I could fall around steeples without a sound.
I'm forgotten as my memories fade.



Details | Lyric | |

Stairway to Hell

So much rage
caught up in depression
now i have no one to turn too
i sit alone by my bed looking at the demon 
He stands next to the closet

I wake up every night at 2 am
just before dead time
He makes sounds
i ignore them

He opens the closet door
And slams it shut
scarring me 

One night he visits me in a dream
A dream where my family dies because i killed them
I wake up screaming
I would never hurt my family 

Sometimes its hard to ignore the other world
They make you crazy and depressed 
now you have to pay for the music that drug that demon to your home
All the metal music that killed you
The music that they said would save you

Ask your self are you alive now? 
now that the demon got you?

I think of how it could be different 
how if i listened to country my family would still be here
Demons are everywhere know that?
One is with you right now, watching you type your poems
Watching you read mine

What can they do you ask?
They can do much much more than what you expect
They crush your insides
Make your heart cold
They make you hurt

These demons are not to play with
A found out the hard way
now the pain wont stop
I cant make it go away

You will soon see what i have seen
Cling to god 
Pray everynight before you close your eyes
Pray out loud every morning
Be thankful you havent seen your demon yet

All of us have one
they are all over the world
They will drag you to hell with them!


Details | Lyric | |

SUICIDAL LOVE By: Lakeyia Clark

SUICIDAL LOVE.... by Lakeyia Clark


One night drinking, questioning the reality of her fate 
Lead her heart into a slump of love vs. hate 
Everything that was once there is now dead and gone 
Washed away after the storm, she's now left alone 
He thought he could trust her and ended up hurt 
Now they are only what at first they never were 
She was in the wrong place at the wrong time 
Questioning herself trying to recall everything in her mind 
Screaming telling the attacker please stop and a series of No's 
Been thrown around and then into a unconscious state she goes 
Who could she run to, who would listen 
She thought it would be him but he said parts of the story were missing 
Trying her best to convince him that it didn't happen by consent 
He told her there was no more of them and out the door he went 
Don't turn your back on me is what she tried to say 
But he wasn't hearing it, he turned his back anyways 
Her heart says pursue him cause this is who she wants and needs 
But she can’t get through to his heart if he's holding tight to the keys 
The victim of a scandalous scheme is never good for anybody 
It'll make the most confident, loving, and trusting individual feel and appear as a nobody 
The trust that was once there is no longer alive 
To him she is fake and everything was a lie 
Love for the man but confused as hell 
Not the first time she's seen this but is now tormented with hell 
Hate for every attacker forcing her to have a void towards men 
Thinking that her man was the one she could trust, cause he was Heaven Sent 
In her mind she wants to say leave it and let him be 
But her heart says go after him you've given him so much of me 
So do she put her heart on the line and risk a homicidal love 
Or does she pretend like it’s not there and settle for a suicidal love 
The truth was first revealed and he don't see it as foul play 
A suicidal love cause she was a victim and he chose to walk away


Details | Lyric | |

heart shaped box

Sitting cross legged on the floor
He pulls out the heart shaped box from underneath his bed
Opening the top and laying it on the floor
He looks inside the heart shaped box
Finding old pictures
Broken memories
And regrets of his own
He looks through the pictures
Gasping when he finds what he's been looking for
An old picture of him as a child
Glaring at the picture 
He sees an old man in the background
Bringing back horrible memories
Of the old man beating him
The old man wasn't old
But acted old
he quickly shuts the box and puts it underneath his bed
His mother walks up the stairs
"ready ?" she asks
He gets up on his two feet and walks downstairs with her
They gather there things
And walk out to the vehicle
She slams the door and starts the car
The boy sits in the seat and watches the view
As there driving by
The reached the destination
They both get out of the car
she holds a tissue in her right hand
The young boy walks up the stairs 
He sees a whole bunch of people
Standing around a coffin
The old man's funeral
The boy walks up to the casket
Stares at the old man
The boy touches the old man's hand and smiles


Details | Lyric | |

Abjectly Blind Even With The Perfect Sight

Hurrying and rushing even at eight, usually just to avoid been late. been doing this for a while and I am so accurate, the day I relent, my Boss Anger I activate, the beauty of Nature and sight seeing, no room to accommodate, so focused on my Job and nothing to motivate, through the Trolley Bus I get to the Office straight, none present yet, not even a mate. I'll sit alone for some minutes as I wait, and this I terribly hate, I do not even know for how long I can tolerate. Then one day, I deviated from my usual line. In the Bus, taking my time and making it mine, not giving a damn even if I reached at nine, watching the passers-by smile so fine, up the sky the Birds happily dine, moving in groups like flying swine. Just observing the 3 in 1 street lights was a sign that my Job intoxicated me like wine and all this while with a perfect sight, I've been blind. The Unique Victoria Bar, I've never seen. The "Dark-Ages" band, performing so obscene, showing their 'half-naked' dancing body is what I mean, and the Statue close to the Adidas Shop looks so lean. Aha! The writing on the building is just a signature and the photo on it gave a nice gesture, initially, it puzzled me like a difficult literature, but now the advert seems to be a blend of perfect mixture, as it reads "Gym with us and better your posture" Just understanding the popular Joke about the Pear, It is two round Toys I noticed and a bottom they share. Looking like one big Apple green and clear. Also enjoying the glaring Banks with the colors they wear, not observing all these is worse than to err, and making me feel Nature was never near, this is a burden I am about to bear. How on Earth can I explain this? It's so hurtful not experiencing such a bliss, crying intensely like my niece, is not enough justification for a 5 year-miss.


Details | I do not know? | |

poems

poems of love 
poems of hate 
closing doors
 and clicking gates 

Gates of white 
Gates of blue
 all beg for something new
 
something new
  something old
 something saying lets be bold 

i  know you
 and i know something you 
would like to do 

 so take my hand 
and lets leave behind the seas
 and the sand
 
 fly to a new beginning 
leave all these people we watch 
sinning
 


Details | Lyric | |

For My Daughter

Now, I don’t really care, she is my grown-up girl
Once I was the oyster to protect my baby pearl

That was the time, to her a lullaby I would sing
She would gently fall asleep, beneath my caring wings

And now is the time, my girl is busy, full of aggression
Wrinkles on my eyes desperately seek her attention

Then a day arrived when she said, 
‘Mum it’s your birthday, let’s celebrate’

At home I awaited her, for a mother-daughter meet
I cooked chicken for her that day, my darling loves it!

But she dint turn up as promised, my heart sank
I consoled myself, she must be playing pranks

She came home late night, no wishes, no celebration
Just a ‘Good Night’, she had forgotten the occasion

Hush lil heart! She is grown up after all, those emotions won’t stay
Hope she is in safe hands, from the core of my heart I pray!


Details | Lyric | |

Journey

After being shattered,
 torn apart inside,
 a hole was carved out of me
 and something in me died.
 
Our dreams, desires and hopes,
 so young and plentiful,
 all too quickly melted away,
 both of us feeling dismal. 

The time that then came after;
 so dark, unhopeful and bleak.
 The Heart could see no light,
 the body soon became weak.
 
A living, moving corpse,
 an empty, lonely shell.
 The Soul would drift, unheard from,
 locked in its gloomy shell.
 
But life is so persistent,
 and always will pull through.
 Subtle, gentle rays of light
 will once again shine true.
 
The pieces of Self are gone,
 and an emptiness remains,
 Yet the dark thoughts drip away,
 the Soul no longer in chains.
 
So Self must be reborn,
 clay in a potter's hands.
 Piece by piece, the hole is filled,
 done so with multiple strands.
 
Recreated little wonder,
 dance with Joy once more.
 Let your dreams regain their wings,
 and see what He has in store.


Details | Lyric | |

Behind This Smile

~Behind This Smile~

These vicious memories are bogging me down
Like the weight of the world
Is resting on my shoulders
But no one can tell 
As I am so good at keeping
It all well hidden

~Behind This Smile~

Voices screaming at me that I don’t deserve to live
They even tell me ways to end it all
They are so loud I can’t hear myself think
Let alone carry on a conversation
Yet I keep it all

~Behind This Smile~

Inside I am crying, I feel like I am dying
I never let it be known
I keep myself closed in
~Behind This Smile~

It is hard to look in the mirror
I don’t like the person staring back at me 
She is so very ugly, filthy and fat
Who is this tramp I see 
Oh ya that is me
So I try to hide myself 

~Behind This Smile~

I feel like I am falling apart
It is getting harder and harder 
Each and every day
So Linda I beg of you not to look into my eyes
I know if you do you will see
All that I am trying to hide
Please don’t hug me unless you want for me
To fall apart
Because a storm is a brewing 

~Behind This Smile~

By Jeanna York






Details | Free verse | |

The Nobodies

We are the nobodies
Unloved, un-hated, un-phased
Outcasts of the world of popularity.
Banished to the fringes of existence.
Finding joy- is a rarity- no solidarity
Always seen at a distance-
because we are the resistance

Nameless faceless and speechless-
When we speak the response is an echo
Bouncing around in a black hole
We can't hide from it so lets go
Into the darkness of our abandoned soul

Alone, lost, and shrouded by darkness
left to face the shadows of heaven
Lost in life- Our suffering is endless!
To each other we are brethren. 

We are numbed by pain
And blinded by shame
we are social life's bane
playing popularity's game

We are the nobodies...


Details | Lyric | |

Cancer

I can't believe I haven't posted this one. I wrote it last year, can't remember the exact date. Anyhow it's a song. ---------------- You know this world is cancer Without these prayers being answered It's been too long a ponder We wonder We wander Far from here Lost in fear Can you see them fall? You lose one you lose them all She's seen the cruel hearts of stone She's seen the cancer we've become So lost in worry we just fall down Underground we burn Till the last one's sure Can you see me fall? You lose one you lose them all Cut me out of this body! Cut me out of everybody! Grind me into little pieces! Tell them that I'm the reason- You know this world is cancer Without these prayers being answered It's been too long a ponder We wonder We wander Far from here Lost in fear Can you see me fall? You lose one you lose them all You lose one you lose. . . Them all


Details | Lyric | |

The Pier

The pier was old, many stories untold,
its wood was weathered and gray and
eerily silent and stark, it stood deserted
in the dark. I put the car in park and
felt the sea-wind whip my hair as I strode,
feeling the rush of water under my toes,
footfalls drowned by waves crashing below,
braced against the wind at the end of the pier,
each memory so dear, the end so near,
the ocean's swells were huge and I felt
a stab of fear...

The ocean seemed infinite and I---
insignificant---as I waited for the magic
(in a life so tragic) that I knew would come:
the daily rise of the glorious sun, so strong,
filling my heart with song, the beauty of dawn.

The dark sky turned powder blue,
all the colors began to shift their hues,
my God, what a wondrous view,
the sea turning to quicksilver and steel,
the colors of the sky surreal---

I see the dolphins at play wondering
when I lost my way as they head out
to deeper waters, still waters, they say,
run deep, what we sow, we reap, the
memories we keep---

The beauty of the scene remains unspoken
as I leave the pier, heart broken.


©Danielle White


Details | Ballad | |

Starcrossed Tragedy

A Silent Night's Hunt for a Tigress so blunt, Left the Fiend dancing with my Thisbe's Cloack But where was She? Her Drenching blood is all I can see The Night of Sanguine, The Night of Rapture, Tonight was meant to be All Behold This Tragedy ran by Dark Energy, My Lost Lover's Plea A seed of what is to come, In this starcrossed Tragedy, For I can not live without you, My Pyramus, All I need, My reason to Breathe One sight of me bleeding away from reality, started this tragedy and with me It shall Grow The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy A Star traveling across the moonless Night Sky, In the mid-summer of Verona, Fell from her glorious light, I have lost my guide, My need for Life Every balcony I'll climb for you, Just to Caress you once more But now it is too Late, My Juilet Let the Poison Fill me My Body dyed In silence, Dipped in Paralysis, Forging the Will of God, Feigning the Clutches of Death, My Romeo I prithee to you, See past The Illusion, Caught in the Webs of Love's delusion A Dagger reached my heart once To see you martyr for our love A Dagger reached my heart twice The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy Once the Morning Retired from her weeping The sun shined into her eyes, then his Lifeless, their dream will live on Every Petal will be Avenged The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy


Details | Lyric | |

-------------------------The Soul I Sold------------


If I seem down forgive me Frowns I carry around live in me When I break you see right through me GIVE BACK THE SOUL I SOLD... The hurt I’ve learned brews in me GIVE BACK THE SOUL I SOLD... Your words so true renew me If only you'd re-design me Take time rewind refine me Recreate the mold without lies I’ve told... GIVE BACK THE SOUL I SOLD... The hurt I’ve learned brews in me GIVE BACK THE SOUL I SOLD....


Details | Rhyme | |

Lea

What happened to us? Did it just take one night?
How does a beautiful friendship turn into mistrust and fights?
Everyone was against us. Did our love make us blind?
We seemed to be winning the race, and now we're so far behind.
I love you. I love you! Me and you, It's my life.
If money didn't matter, I would make you my wife.
Nothing makes me happier then to see a smile on your face.
I love your style, your car, your taste, and your place.
It's home to me, baby. You invited me into your world.
My angel, my treasure, my dream, and my girl.
The one I held close at night and hung out with all day.
The one I fought for her rights, the one who took my breath away.
We've had our ups, we've had our downs, and if this you happen to read,
I want you to know that I love you. Lea, it's you that I need!


Details | Lyric | |

Painful Blessings

God's child and only his.
He's been teaching me lessons since..
before my teenage years. 
I learn things quickly, a genius...maybe.
He has yet to expose his gift to me.
He has yet to begin revealing my destiny.
So I wait...wait for my world to shake.
Wait for my heart to ache. 
With every storm comes sunshine. 
An inner glow given from the divine. 
A new found sense of control. 
Thank you for allowing me to learn lessons.
That's why I call them painful blessings.


Details | Lyric | |

Unintelligible Communication - who/what/where/when/why/how?

How can you say the things
that make me want to scream?
How can you hear the words
that make me want to cry?

Why does my life
feel like a constant cliche
and why are you
content to care
about a creature who cares
about nothing at all?

i said i had lost my priorities
but i know i just finally
realized what they are:
"wallowing in self-imposed misery"
ranks first
and manipulation
and selfishness
come in a close second and third
if there is much difference
between them at all.

Can you tell
that i'm out of words?
all i can do
is scream and cry
sigh at life's inevitability
about the mess that is me
and i wish sometimes
that i could let go
float on the flow
of my tears and waters
that teem with my screams
swim
and actually get somewhere.

i try to return to the past
but my creative juices
have fled
watered down by time
and repetitive experiences
and this is new
but not so much so 
that there's anything more
to say
that hasn't already
been said.
i've related to you
the over-used lines
i seem to spill at these times
don't be surprised if
i am reduced
to repeating 4 words:
"what do i do?"
'cause that's all it comes down to.

i write because
it feels like something accurate
-- and that still effects deeply and intensely --
might come out
the next time
or the next time
when really
i read over my old poems
and realize
i've exhausted my supplies
of deep, intense effective poems
and all that's left
is just chicken scratch.

i
don't want to
am not able to
write anything more
all i can do
is lay my head
on the naked pillow
and hope that i won't rise
or if i do
i won't be me.

i can write the words
that make me want to cry
i can write the things
that make me want to scream
but how you can say and hear
i'll never know
'cause i've gone
far beyond the realm
where that is
a plausible
possible
option
but here i can retreat to 
and "fire at will
from behind my hideout
of faux-i-don't-care".
and as i write
i realize that that is the one thing
i can say
that is utterly true
because i am
sorry
and there's nothing i can do
to change that.


Details | Lyric | |

FOREVER WE ARE ONE

If we don't let go the past
the future will not come so easy,
so many time we go wrong
many time we are right
yet we are not perfect 
need to forgive others
that hurt us,thou heart may remember forever
heart may not want to give chances any more any longer
we need to move on without the past
we maybe taller than a tree yet we cant see the future
it is covered by the cloud
the future is many distance away
hard to believe,hard to see
everyday we try harder
everyday it goes longer
a plant today can be a beautiful flower tomorrow so dont up-root it
forgive and let go the past by-gun is by-gun,
give love a second chance
        !!!!let go the past-let come a new day!!!!!


Details | Lyric | |

UNFOLD

The pain of change as it unfolds
Is oft a tale that stays untold
What is seen is a whole creature
not deep holes in the feature
nor concrete soles that makes his feet hurt

It all begins with a soft kiss
He is walking with a false bliss
Only following in paw prints
But the nature of mom's lips
Is to rob him of all innocence

Trapped in warm spindles of fear
A wrapped life form kindles in here
Four years bound to shingles of moss
Time to leave this life of sloths
Break free like that of a moth
and Rise again like Christ on the cross


Details | Free verse | |

The Fear

The Aphotic rays reach higher
And shame, shade reigns over all
Lacuna, Apathy is all I feel as I fall into the ashed grave
I'm living, the slowest way to die
Elysia, rapture where are you now

What will I do when the flame is extinguished 
What will I do when I drown in ash
What will I do when they sing my name in funeral dirges 
How can this be all, one short organic vitality
Scares to die, but afraid of a new day

Scared to die, but so afraid of a new day
Will I Ressructe to Paradise, burn in Hell, or lay in Sheol
Is this a there is, one feather, to the dirge
My life so long - my suffering grows
Scared to die, but so afraid of a new day

In all of the ashes, a flame begins
Once again, here I am
Living, the slowest way to die


Details | Lyric | |

I Wish It Would Rain

Dark clouds hanging over me I feel so alone I don't know who to turn to I want so bad to run away Yet I know that the clouds will just follow me and I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain I really don't know where this all came from My heart is aching My Head is so full Sleep doesn't come easy And I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain Each day I paste on a smile I try so hard to hide What is going on inside I wish I could let go Not hold it so close I don't know who to turn to though And So I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain I want so bad to hide Let it all go Have a good cry It doesn't seem possible I have to stay strong Even though I feel like I am falling apart And my heart is breaking I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain Maybe then the clouds would go away I wouldn't feel so alone My heart would stop aching And I wouldn't have to keep hiding What I am Feeling inside


Details | Lyric | |

Life as an Addict





                                        

                                     Life as an Addict


                         Life as an addict, life as an addict
                       Life as an addict is like running into
                            A reinforce cinderblock wall
                                    Losses after losses 
                                           Virtually
                     Ending in a jail cell or luxurious casket
                      Day after day the addiction keeps at it
                                           Eventually 
                                Opening doors to the soul
                          Stepping inside leading you down
                               A wicked and dark passage
                                           Ultimately
                                     Leaving you naked
                                  Clinching your wounds
                                      Shattering dreams
                                      Low self – esteem
                                    Thoughts in captivity
                                          Life of misery
                         Life as an addict limited imagination
                                 Waste of God’s creation
                                          But forgiven
                                      Evil, dark passage 
                                  Reinforce walls, jail cell
                                Lost soul, luxurious casket 
                            Life as an addict, life as an addict
                                        Life as an addict.


Details | Lyric | |

you dont understand

Hes inlove with his sadness
Being alone helps him think
He can hear his thoughts clearly
Hes getting to the point where
He loves being the center
Of attention
Being depressed helps his sickness
This goes on
And on
And on
Looking at life in a different way
You cannot see what he sees
Love isnt pure
Its evil spelt backwards
As is devil spelt
Backwards is lived
He has his hyper days
Three days of hyper
Three days of depressed
Three days of death
No days of life
This goes on
And on
And on
Sitting all alone in his room
Writing this story your reading
Can you see?
What he sees?
Or do you not understand sadness
Enough to grasps
What hes trying to say to you


Details | Lyric | |

I give you me

I give you me

The green grass all around me
Seems so velvet soft this morning
As two wagtails whistle tunefully
As we sit amidst the Roses
Your blue eyes look so gentle
 And send your magic essence right into me.

My mystic, magic maiden
How you smile just like an angel
As the sadness in your eyes it whispers to me
That you have suffered cruelly
And because I love you truly
I know that I must treat you tenderly.

I’ll do my best, to make you happy
I’ll give you joy, I’ll give you me
I’ll give you all I have 
so very joyfully
I‘ll give you me….All of yours I be..

I’ll love you magic maiden
Till the day we be no more
You have my heart, so treat it very gently
We’ll face our lives together
Through fine and stormy weather
You’ll always have my love
I give you me.

Sept 6 2006.    


Details | Free verse | |

Stuck

I'm like a lion
Tryin to be  trained
to behave in a cage, but
I wasnt born to be tame
Full of stress and rage
 Im compressed and chained
Infected with depression
beCause I cant catch a break
Lifes taste is so tart
In pain from my scars
Stained by lame luck
Stuck behind apace car
I strive to write
But all I can type is the space bar
I'm Pervaded with doubt
About to freakout
Quick Someone bail me out
I would sniff my way out
but I got this cyst on my snout
From 6 years of this drought
Im sittin with this could of pout
Stickin to me like jam from a can
like melted candy in your hand
I'M a pantree full of Spam
 A Letter without the stamp
A debtor without a plan
Like chicken on a pan without any Pam,
Damn I'm starting to get pissed
 I got to devise a plan, before I break my fist,
Punching this brick wall, I got the spit but no ball
got the wits with no squall, like a toliet with no stall
 Slippin in a pit fall, Shiz just snow balls
I want to brawl, missed last call
My Stick shift just stalled,
This lawl has no intention at stopin at all
And I'm kicking myself in the balls
like old men walking up and down the halls
so i flop, just like a dust mop
Now i got knots in my food box
The size of king kongs rocks and
Every door has been locked
I try to soar but its all for not


Details | Lyric | |

Cryptic Love Notes

The shadows whispering
In the silence I now sing
Hold me to their flames
The only comfort in this lasting pain

The words that can’t convey
The screaming in this place
Are love notes for the void
The only home left as I’m destroyed

Darkness in the light
Glowing in the night
Eyes that hold me still
The gazing truth my heart just can not kill

Nothing else to say
It still won’t go away
A stranger in my dreams
I wake to find that I no longer breathe

A horror that remains
It just won’t be erased
The loss of all that’s true
Breaks me down, but I’m still lost in you

Far too much to share
My reflection isn’t there
Sanity is gone
Another life where I just don’t belong


Details | Ballad | |

Without You (Song)

Daylight fade,
Burning through my eyes,
She walked out of my life
Again, I'm feeling low,
One more time girl here we go,
Now I'm falling, a final time,
Wish the sunlight didn't shine

It's getting critical
But girl I just can't help it,
I'm feeling miserable
Without you I'm so helpless,
I can't even sleep
Don't want to be, without you,
It's getting hard to breathe,
There is no me, without you,

And baby I try and try
to let you go,
The more I fight,
The more I know,
There's nothing in this life,
I want to do,
Without you,

Passing days,
I try to ease my mind,
I want make it this time,
because, she's really gone,
Lying here I'm all alone,
with nothing, to comfort me,
I'm hanging on to memories,

It's getting critical
But girl I just can't help it,
I'm feeling miserable
Without you I'm so helpless,
I can't even sleep
Don't want to be, without you,
It's getting hard to breathe,
There is no me, without you,


And baby I try and try
to let you go,
The more I fight,
The more I know,
There's nothing in this life,
I want to do,
Without you,

It's getting critical,
Girl I just can't help it,

There's nothing
in this life,
I want to do,
Without you


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost love but I want u back

Lost love, I lost love you lost love and were both hurting. Let's just be like forget it and give up. But no I will life u and I the best I can. I lost u but I love you more then anything in this world. I'm not over you. You changed my life and I gave up on us i love you still I hope u see this and see how much u many to me. I love you and our lost love.


Details | Lyric | |

The Butterfly Effect

I'm sitting here staring at a white wall, i can still see my baby's face,
kissing me and saying i love you mom, and out of his mouth comes........
 
a swarm of butterflies and he fades away, they are black and orange with huge eyes on the wings, in these eyes i see a sillohette  of a little girl , sitting on the steps,
praying that dad doesn't get upset, having might have to face the consequence.

Behind her sets a house of pain, all the anger has ignited a raging flame, as the house burns there she still sits, counting the ashes that fall as all the wishes missed, as the fire crackles, she can still hear every word,as the heat gets stronger it just feels like another hit occurred. 

In her hand she has a stick, she draws a butterfly,she closes her eyes and boards it.
She flies away leaving her family behind, she has no pain as she hears her mom's cries,it's only fair to feel that way, after all if her mom loved her she wouldn't have stayed.


Details | Lyric | |

I Aim (Song)

Staring at shadows,
Squeezing my pillow,
Trying to forget 
you are gone,
Refuse to let go of,
The faint taste of true love,
Your presence
is lingering on,

Since you walked 
away from me
I cannot bear
to see the day,
The waking sunlight
through my window
Takes your
memory away,
 
If I could
see you again
I'd say..
For you,
I Aim,

I aim to be
I aim to see
The day your love
once again belongs to me,
Since you left,
I'm just not the same,
because its for your love
I Aim

The friends 
who still know me
Know
 I'm fading slowly
Baby, I'm not 
doing too well,
Each day 
as I'm waking
For you I'm waiting,
Loving you
 and no one else,

When I, wake up 
in the morning,
All I feel 
is empty space,
Each second 
I spend breathing,
is me thinking
 of your face,

If I could
see you again
I'd say..
For you,
I Aim,

I aim to be
I aim to see
The day your love
once again belongs to me,
Since you left,
I'm just not the same,
because its for your love
I Aim


Details | Lyric | |

Meet Me At The Gates

Standing across from damien
whom had been his lover for yea
He takes his heart out of his chest
And places it in Damiens hands
Kurt says "this heart belongs to you"
He askes Damien "do you want it?"
Damien places Kurts heart in his hands
"i dont"
Kurt throws it to the ground and stomps on it
Looking down at his crumpled heart a tear 
Falls from his cheek
He starts walking away
He falls to his knees
Like suffocating
Damien runs over to him
But is blocked by a black mist
Damien stands there whispering
"Kurt come back"
Kurt stands up and places his heart
Into Damiens pocket
As Kurt turns and walks away
The sky opens up
And kurt rises to the clouds
A few years later Damien joins him up at the gates


Details | Lyric | |

Father

Looking through his old pictures
Him as a child
His dad was at an early age
He wishes for more then just an image
Closing his eyes
Trying to picture his dad
Where is his dad now?
Wishing to see beyond the face
A tear falls unto the picture
Running down unto his lap
He longs for more then 
just a word upon a letter
His dad has written him
Longing for his fathers existence
For the relationship he wished he had
He awaits for the next letter
He never receives
Falling upon his knees
Tears Crawling down his face
Wanting to know his father better



Details | Lyric | |

The Feel

Written March 11, 2013


Slide like a snake through the weather vane
Squirm like a worm through your weathered veins
How it makes me feel
How it makes me feel
All the s*** I'll steal

Drink from the heart of an amulet
Drown in the wonders of percocet
You make me act the way I do
You turn me outside in from me to you
What you make me do

Sink in the pit of a past regret
So do you like the bitter taste yet
How I'll follow suit
In high speed pursuits
With a hundred proof

Gone is Ravi and the ways of the days
When sex came before foreplay
How it made me feel
To hear the sound so loud and the kids so proud
To relive those days

This bird has flown
This rubber soul won't heal
How it made me feel.
How it made me feel.
How it made me feel.


Details | Lyric | |

Death Trophy

Congratulations, you've been buried today
Far under the earth you can hear them say
Goodbye; it's like you wanted me to find you this way
My mind says to leave but my heart says stay

Wait for the rain...to numb the pain

Couldn't you see what you meant to me?
Couldn't you just hold on?
Leaving me here with your death trophy
And a never-ending song
Couldn't you see what you meant to us?
Why couldn't you take the pain?
I carve your name on your death trophy
Waiting for the rain...

My condolences, your baby is gone
He shot himself dead at the break of dawn
I wonder if he ever thought it was wrong
I set the pictures on the lyrics of this song and

Wait for the rain...to numb the pain

Couldn't you see what you meant to me?
Couldn't you just hold on?
Leaving me here with your death trophy
And a never-ending song
Couldn't you see what you meant to us?
Why couldn't you take the pain?
I carve your name on your death trophy
Waiting for the rain...

Wait for the rain...to numb the pain
Wait for the rain...wait for the rain...
Wait for the rain


Details | Lyric | |

Pandora and the Circle Jerk

     PANDORA AND THE CIRCLE JERK
She made the rounds each night at nine
and he was there all of the time
but he knew trouble was her ploy
so passed her for another toy
then threw them both away.

His life was loose, a lib'ral crime
and he beat off most of the time
she'd be disaster and he knew
if he'd touch her, he'd fall into
a place where he would stay.

He breathed the weed for his sublime
between tequila and the lime
but love was longer than the dance
and peace of soul was circumstance
so he kissed her one day.

His passion flowed out from all time
into his life that didn't rhyme
and then he jerked so hard he broke
between his lime and second toke
and cried his life away.
© ron wilson aka vee bdosa the doylestown poet


Details | Lyric | |

My Struggles


My Struggles My mind grows weary. My eyes are teary. My heart often skips a beat. I toss and turn through the night. My soul and flesh continue to fight. I do what is wrong, but I desire what’s right. Inside I burn with fury, But outside I appear cool as a Winters breeze. A great storm is in the near future. Who will intervene before disaster strikes? Who will save me from the strong winds and hail? I can only pray that all goes well. I can only pray to survive this shipwreck. I can only pray to reach shore and be able to breathe again.


Details | Free verse | |

life now

the life that you have now 
is the one you will cry over when you are removed from it 
it happens that many lives are taken 
away from the now and when we lived 
the can’t grow fast enough is bicycle hard to catch up to 
crispy in leaves, and, bare under the bark


Details | Lyric | |

Goodnight Daddy

It's sad that I can't talk to you
Because I know that you don't care
It's always school or misbehavior
Otherwise I'm just not there
Do you know my favorite subject?
And the things I like to do?
Do you know the things I've said and done
I've never had the chance to tell you?
You probably don't see me, really
I'm just another child gone wrong
But it kills me, my greatest accomplishments
My grades, my writing, my songs
And getting over the worst struggle of all... 
You don't even know it transpired
She noticed my pain, and hugged me close
But to you, I was merely tired
Hey Daddy, what's my favorite color?
What do I like to do?
Daddy, you never let me tell
But you tell me all about you
And you talk to my sisters constantly
You go in and kiss them goodnight
Even though my room is right next door
You never make sure I'm alright
I know that it's wrong for me to cry
About something that's not as bad
As other people go through in their lives
But I love you, I need you Dad...
If I asked you what you knew of me
I wonder what you would say
If anything, I'd never ask
Because I know you'd turn me away


Details | Lyric | |

Getting Nude

It is not rude
when I often think,
I want to get nude

I don't mean the clothes to be taken off
I mean the social considerations and such stuff

I mean those masks and the fake smile
the unwanted tasks yet necessary meanwhile

and all those things
you do because you have to

Waiting for that day
you do what you love to


Details | Lyric | |

Album of Hearts

Gray and abysmal are her days
Each moment a faded dark haze
Consumed in her fairy tale dream
Her prince never came it would seem 
Venturing she thought it were fate
A new destination, clean slate

Then within a breath of meeting
And an awkward funny greeting
She was cast under a love spell
Too embarrassed to ever tell
How easily the lyrics came 
Now that he set her heart inflame

Listen to the keys dance along 
Oh how melodic is their song
Listen to the strings strum along
Oh the harmony of their song
In perfect tune with emotion
Played with pure, loving, devotion
Two separate songs bound as one
The album of hearts has begun

Her fantasy life broken down
Soon after arriving in town
Energized to attain her goals
Pondering after long night strolls
Rejuvenated was her heart
As though life had begun to start

A story begins to unfold
Yet their feelings remained untold
Curiosity starts to bloom
Her soul slowly consumed in gloom
Hoping for answers of desire
She burned with his internal fire

Listen to the keys dance along 
Oh how melodic is their song
Listen to the strings strum along
Oh the harmony of their song
In perfect tune with emotion
Played with pure, loving, devotion
Two separate songs bound as one
The album of hearts has begun

The album of hearts has begun
Two separate songs bound as one
And somehow they already knew
Without them saying “I love you”


Details | Lyric | |

Silence

"you can speak in a sentence
and no one will hear you

But you can sing a song
and it can reach ten thousand people"

People speak in silence

Afraid of what they might project
If it will harm someone or even them

Everyone is listening
But without hearing a word you say









Details | Lyric | |

Alive

Have you ever noticed how a paint brush dries out
After two minutes of just sitting there?
Kind of like how you have been drawing for 10 
years and all of a sudden you forget how to
You lost all your techniques
And you move on and find something better
like the lyrics you used to write in school
Thinking one day you'll sing them to the world
And when you finally get a band together
Someone got grounded and everything falls apart
like that time when you did drugs
Thinking it would solve your problems
But it just made them worse
Like a friend
Telling you how to live your life
And tell you what you should and should not do
Its like the first time you felt alive
Holding her hand and being close to her
Then she goes away
And you are forced start all over again
without her


Details | Lyric | |

I Am Just Not Sure Anymore

I am just not sure anymore
If your the one for me
I am just not sure anymore
And I need to be free

I want to find the door that lead me back here
I need to get out before you break my heart dear
I loved you once and held your heart near
I now know I need to fly out of here

I am just not sure anymore
If your love is ture
I am just not sure anymore
That I can trust you

You want to controll me not hold me tight
You need to own me all we do is fight
You loved me only when for you it was right
You don't know how to let in the light

I am just not sure anymore 
Where your heart lies
Iam just not sure anymore
If you even hear my cries

I want to tell you how i feel inside
I need to shine not to hide
I loved it when we started this wild ride
I now know you don't want to be buy my side

I am just not sure anymore
If this is where I belong
Iam just not sure anymore
If your heart is my home


Details | Sonnet | |

In Utero

I ****ing hate myself and want to die.
In Utero, I deem inspiration,
but not sarcasm or imitation.
My anguish is authentic and a cry
for help, but why would people waste their time?
Not like their so-called justification
for concern is any indication
that they care enough to bawl, weep and cry.
Nobody will even care when I’m gone,
much less the violated deity.
For that, I am ungrateful and alone.
I scorned her body with a written piece.
A conclusion which should have been forgone.
Forgone like death, which should put me at ease.


Details | Lyric | |

Mask

I got too much emotion, too much pain.
I try to stay strong to keep myself sane.
I put on a mask with a fake smile and lie,
I'm wearing a "stay strong" disguise.
Pent up aggression, pent up sorrow,
How do i make it and see tomorrow?
I have so many secrets and burdens,
they're under the surface and hidden.
I dont know what to do anymore,
I dont know what to believe.
i cant live this battle this war,
this self hatred.... these lies I've made for me.
Pent up aggression, pent up sorrow,
How do i make it and see tomorrow?
I have so many secrets and burdens,
they're under the surface and hidden.
My whole world just spins round and round.
I put it behind me, but it comes back and bites me.
I'm fallin down,yet my past just haunts me.
Memories are burned in my head,
I dont want to remember this,... again.
I got too much emotion, too much pain.
I try to stay strong to keep myself sane.
I put on a mask with a fake smile and lie,
I'm wearing a "stay strong" disguise.
I dont know what to do anymore,
I dont know what to believe.
i cant live this battle this war,
this self hatred.... these lies I've made for me.


Details | Lyric | |

First Day of Spring

Written October 26, 2013


Love cries out from a songbird
On the first day of spring
And all the flowers bloom in the rain
And sunshine reigns
Over every boy and every girl
In this town that's driving me insane

On the first day of spring
The beginning of the end
Blue skies pulling me in
Along with all my friends
Rain shields the sun again

Alone in my room
I rescind
To the deepest depths of my soul
To sew back shut a hole
That will make me whole

I'm melting to the permafrost
How I feel so lost
In the world I used to call my own
Now I feel so alone
Without a house to call my home


Details | Lyric | |

The Eyes On The Wall

Written April 29, 2013


What do you do
When you see through
All of the pictures that you keep on the wall
All of the people that will come to the ball

Be the light in my basement
You came in when the day went
When the moon pierced the sky
And the night wondered why
You lit up from my fright
Be the bright of my light, tonight

Give birth to my form, we mourn
That you got out of town
But you're still hanging around
To suffer just like the rest
Of us who shoot up in jest
You'll go a-holding your chest

In the mirror of a window pane
I can see their pain
Your heartache has made mine real
How do we continue to steal
From the ones without meal
Breathe fire into the steel

Confirm my reality
My invisibility
Has become surreal to me
So I litter the walls with lights
In hopes that I might
See the sun rise tonight

Moloch preys on the young
And on those who have won
Into the mystic we might
Die from losing our sight
From flaring into the sun
Staring down the barreling gun

I thought I knew them before
All the eyes on the wall
Follow without hesitation
Like faces at a train station
That keep whistling by
Not one wonders why

The world has been torn apart
Before the kids could start
To piece it back together
Could a puzzle get better
Should we re-imagine this earth
Or should we not weigh its worth

What do you do
When you're through
Counting the cattle as they go by the door
Keeping a carpet that's so thick on the floor


Details | Rhyme | |

Laugh It Off

It's not easy being me
At 16 the seniors life is far from heavenly
I'm ranked as a minor and portrayed as a thug
A young man just trying to make it in the world

The social network has me on the low grid
Just a "Wana Be" trying to come up and get big
It's all good i shrug and laugh it off
Constant pounding irons out the soft

Small comments truly don't phase me
But even steel bends when beat constantly
The mask is cracking and dark is invented
And i focus to make sure i don't vent it

The anger bred from an under ranked master
The rage fed to an underpaid senior
It's all good i shrug and laugh it off
Hiding the feelings with a quiet cough

The past is past i move on and keep my head up
Adjusting the mask and still trying to come up
I live the life of an outcast
Accepted in the area but hoped to move on fast

I always look for a way to prove it
But it seems that i can't quite do it
It's all good i shrug and laugh it off
I won't be remembered maybe I'll just "Get Lost"


Details | Lyric | |

A Gray Christmas

The little boy sits by the christmas tree 
Full of light and color
Trying to figure out what all the colors are
He puts his little hands on the ornaments
Trying to see what they are
Feeling them
He steps back and falls over a present
He feels around the box trying to open it
Only seeing alittle 

Mean while on the phone..

his mom is talking to the doctor

"do you think he will be able to see by christmas?" she says
The doctor replies "theres no guarentees, he is 67 % blind, when we did the test with him, he described the color blue as a dark black, and a yellow as a light gray, your son only sees in black and white and im not sure if we can fix that. but we will do our best"

A breathe escapes from her lips as she turns and looks at her son
The doctor explains "his surgery is set for Dec. 7th. be here around 8 am and we will see what we can do, im trully sorry"
He hangs up.

Back in the living room

The boy stands up and walks over to his mom
"mom, have you seen the christmas lights?" he says

She replies "yes sweety i have."

He hugs her leg and says "are they black and white?"

She answers "no sweety" she points to a light bulb on the tree

"this one is blue" she smiles

He grabs the light bulb and repeats "this one is blue" and giggles

She lays him down in his bed as he quickly falls asleep

She sits down on the chair and thinks
"to me. because my son cannot see the beautiful lights and feel the joys of christmas, everything is gray for me. nothing will fill my empty heart"


There are no smiles, when everything is gray, when you cant see the colors of a bright day




Details | Lyric | |

Sad Excuses

Kill it all away
Like they havent hurt you before
You give them a new begining
But they keep using the same old Excuses
Everytime you ask them something about that subject
They dont reply
Or they give you that sad excuse
Arent you tired of it yet?
Or are you still going to play the same old games
That excuse kept inviting you in
You kept using it 
hanging on to the excuse
Just to say they will change
But have they?
You cant see it
You havent noticed
You are still blind from there first excuse
Still letting them hurt you
Do they have an excuse for that too?


Details | Lyric | |

Can You Be Mine

She's marking my direction,
It's her that I see,
And there's nothing I can say or do,
She's struting down the street,
With fire in her feet,
And I'm thinking I should make a move,

No steps I heard,
She glides like a bird,
And her eyes sparked a perfect blue,
Her voice blew like the trees,
I fell to my knees,
As she said how do you do,

(chorus): 2x
I said, can you be mine,
Can you be mine,
I said, Can you be mine,
Love me forever and more,

Her eyes opened wide,
As though she was surprised,
She didn't know what to say,
She grabbed a pen and wrote down her number,
Before I asked her for her name,
She said her name was Lisa,
I said so nice to meet ya,
This girl, was playin heard to get,

I said I know you've been hurt in the past,
But you won't be hurt this time,
Her hair was so soft and beautiful,
So I told her not to pay a dime,

(Chorus): 3x

(Bridge)
Talking:
(I love the way you movin ya body, baby)
(I got so excited, baby)
(That's the way, you got me, you got me)


Details | Lyric | |

Like wild birds flying

The shadow falls as night arrives
like the kiss of death it blinds my eyes,
and in my mind the colors break
this blinding, innocuous life in wake,
a sound begins like distant bells
it chimes like time- my fear and hell,
and eyes still blind to what may come
I know the sound; its feathers drum.
The colors for a moment take
my mind from its insistent snake,
it slithers through my heart and hides
and from my dark depressions rise,
colors- like wild birds flying.

The night a trap, uncertainty wailing
I know my hearts a brittle, pale thing,
yet in the dark of sky and heart
I feel the feathers as they dash their marks,
of this sensuous life I forgot to remember
its sparks ignite like undying embers,
colors of life as it should have been
like a cold nights sweat, wide awake in a dream,
and the pain of the past sometimes shrill like a scream,
its sound- like wild birds flying.

"Don't go!" I cry out, but the dark fills me out
its prevalence still endless surrounds me,
I must wait for the day, when the light clears my way
and to life I'm availed by dear time.
But oh time I deplore, with its ravenous roar,
melting new into old, painting dark into cold,
to remind us that nothing can last!
Still I will watch for first light
when I can join life in flight,
and feel- like a wild bird, flying.


Details | Lyric | |

Would I were a Yellow Bird

Would I were a yellow bird,
No woes would be on me
I’d fly me past the Sawney roofs
And past the canopy,
O I’d fly so high above this earth
Above this great frontier,
You’d think me but a yellow bird
Just a-gone and disappeared.

I’d soar out into sunlit skies
Where the clouds have all gone home
And I’d soar out over churning tides,
Bleached white with briny foam
Well I’d soar above the lofty peaks
Of mountains gray and blue
Just to perch atop those crowns of rock
And sit in wait for you.

O I’d fly tomorrow if I could,
In fact I’d fly today,
But my wings have not grown strong enough
To fly me anyway
So here I’ll sit, atop this nest
These skies I’m doomed to roam
Would I were a yellow bird,
Then I would fly me home.


Details | Lyric | |

Rebel

Now is the time
Where I let go a part of me.
The one who got away from the world 
Never let anyone in
For fear didn't let me bond.
There was pain
It lingered in bittersweet happiness
Emerging in unlikely moments.
Tears.
Doubt.
Hopelessness.
No way out.
But, I held on and mingled with it.
Defying it's underlying desires.
It would dance on my emotions.
Holding on.
Then, I let go.
Setting it free.
Depression don't follow me anymore
For I'm a rebel in the darkness.


Details | Lyric | |

im yours

Ever feel like your world is crashing right before your eyes?

Everyone is just in a still mode

you go up to speak to them

And they just stand there

Not saying a word

not even blinking

Like your world has frozen

I'm your pain when you can't feel

I'm your eyes when you must kill

I'm your voice when you must lie

I'm the fear that fills your brain

I'm yours when the world falls apart

I'm the sadness when you are depressed

I'm the numbness when you can't heal

I'm the sharpness of the blade in which u cut

I'm the bullet that pierces your heart

I'm yours when your world has fallen apart.




Details | Lyric | |

Inside the Membrane

The pain I feel inside 
Can be derived from my dad pride
I sit alone at night
There is this emptiness that is
The squandering of time
pondering what life will be like
Who knew that twenty-one
Would be More bumps and lumps than fun
I want to dump this chump
Standing in front of the mirror
Waiting till its clearer
This Brings a sobering effect
Over thinking each step
It is like I'm playing freeze tag
With these mundane demons
And They always keep me in check
Because I cant see them
I have been contained and constrained
I complain of chest pains
Till my veins pop off like champagne
Bruce Banner's a freight train
Going insane in the membrane

So should I smoke weed then
To cope with this moping season
Cause my yoke is heavy
and dope seems dope for lots of reasons
Even though I do know
What the verse says in Ephesians
"Do not get drunk on wine...
Instead be filled with the spirit"
This is my one beacon
That's give me hope when I hear it
Its a choice for heathens
Like me, to write our own lyrics
Since death has been beaten
And no longer need to fear it
His love is infinite


Details | Lyric | |

My Mask

I know it's not good
To have a mask under your hood
But what do I do
If my days are always blue?

My smiles turn into frowns
Because of my leaves that are always brown
Why does the dust blow up my nose
Wherever the wind doesn't blow?

I'm in my circle, all alone
Yet in my mind, I'm still not the queen on her throne
Who even controls me?
Is it the darkness I see?

People around me want nothing to do with the girl in black
So the mask on my face makes her hard to track
I am not the girl you think I am
So now do you see why this mask is on me?


Details | Lyric | |

For the Dying Orphan

I let you die for my name As you reached for my hands Out of waters of drowning What a hypocrite this writer is The Hatred of Solitude Letting an orphan dream Then destroy him with knowledge Of what you have done He opened up to you In new ways But in nostalgic guises The springwinds whisper blithe yore But the winterwinds, much stronger Caress you with the dreams of your funeral sky “It was you… it was your fault… Letting the one who was so open to you Be the laugh… the piece in the game…”


Details | Free verse | |

Beyond The Sun

Of 2000 years ago Beyond The Sun
There once was a Prophetic Son
With a Mother of Wisdom
The Matriach of Sublime
She shows the way in time
 
There's a locked cage in my heart
And it's tearing me apart
Sophia you hold The Key
Why don't you open if for me
 
Beyond The Sun
A Dove, a Flame (Beyond The Sun)
Regina Sapientia is Here (Beyond The Sun)
 
Beyond The Sun
A Dove, a Flame (Beyond The Sun)
Regina Sapientia is Here (Beyond The Sun)
 
There's a locked cage in my heart
And it's tearing me apart
Sophia you hold The Key
Why don't you open if for me
 
Beyond The Sun
A Dove, a Flame (Beyond The Sun)
Regina Sapientia is Here (Beyond The Sun)
 
Beyond The Sun
A Dove, a Flame (Beyond The Sun)
Regina Sapientia is Here (Beyond The Sun)


Details | Lyric | |

December

Arguing with one another
Texting back and forth
Owen drives in the blizzard
Kurt is at home

Kurt sends Owen another message
"why did you tell them about me doing drugs?"
"that wasnt your place, i dont care if there your parents too"
"shouldnt i be the one to tell them?"

Owen tries to reply to the message Kurt has sent him
He loses control of the wheel
driving into a field 
Kurt recieves a message from Owen
"Im sorry I..."
The message was never finished
The car slamming into a tree
The tree branch breaks through the window
Thrashing into Owens stomach
As Owens head slams back and forth
The car is left smoking

Kurt knows something is wrong
but leaves things be

50 Minutes Later...."

Kurt and Owen's parent recieve a call from the police
"Is this the parent of Owen Everdeen?" the police ask
the mother answers "yes is something wrong? is it Owen, what did he do now?"
"Mam', Your son was in a accident, they are life flighting him to the hospital"
She drops the phone, and grabs her purse and yells at Kurt to come on.

She drives fast to get to the hospital to see her son
Owen was life flighted to the hospital
The police had to use the jaws of life to get him out of his car

They finally make it to the hospital
The Dr. asking "Are you the mother of Owen?"
She cries "yes, where is my son?"
Kurt stands upset at himself for fighting with Owen minutes before
Remembering Owens last text to him. "im sorry I.."

The Dr. explains to the mother 
"Owen didnt make it"
She sits in sadness
Numbness
She cannot breathe

Kurt runs after the Dr.
"this cant be, he has to be ok" as he starts to cry.
Just the night before him and his brother
Were playing guitar hero together
Remembering the last moment
The arguing
The reqruet Kurt is now feeling

"Owen Ryan Everdeen: Jan. 1st, 1990- December 8th, 2011"
To a good brother and a great friend, im sorry about all those times i have let you down
Im sorry for yelling at you that night, and causing your crash, the guilt i feel wont leave
I am sorry that you went through that, and left this world that way, forgive me for what i 
have caused. I love you.


Details | Lyric | |

The Other Side of the Coin

The night seems sad,
its stars are empty-
all magic gone, no luck
to gain from breathing a wish-
your dreams masked by shadow.
But this chance is not needed,
nor magic or spells,
to fight against the tears-
one must conquer them alone.
Luck is temporary for he
who counts on it.
It drains the stars 
of light and warmth.
In sadness we tend to forget
That we ourselves
have the power
to conquer the pain we feel.
Do not rely on good fortune
for soon as it comes
it will disintegrate into a sea
of sorrow and regrets.
Instead,
create your own magic
rather than pretend.
The stories and tales of childhood
may seem alluring
but do not let them
steal you away
from reality.


Details | Lyric | |

In the Spider's Web

I am a spider
amused that you have become ensnared
in my web of lies.
My talent is manipulation-
I play you as easily as a puppet
dangling from my power hungry fingers.
Hungry, yes-
I feed off these lies.
The quicker you fall, 
the more satisfaction I feel.
I am a spider
and you are my pray.
You do not realize you are a victim
until you are bound and broken
my teeth at your neck,
How foolish do you feel 
as the venom courses through your veins?
Does this make me a monster,
Nothing more than a barbaric creature?
Relying on primal instincts,
I hunt for facts
and gather the truths,
smuggling them away 
and replacing them with 
Picture-perfect facsimiles engulfed in deceit.
Have I performed the greatest trick of all?
Or have I lost myself in my web?
Each fragile strand threatens to snap,
to unravel my illusion
and reveal the truth masked within,
leaving me exposed,
vulnerable and naked.
I have lost myself:
A victim of my own design.


Details | Lyric | |

Come Chill With Me Tonight

Verse 1:
Don't be shy,
I just wanna spend some time,
Make you mine,
Make it right,
Don't need to worry,
Girl, no one will ever compare,
To you,

Chorus:
Girl, The moon is close tonight,
Mother nature's on my side,
Let the clock move slow all night,
Come chill with me tonight,

I said the dj's on my side,
And he's playing our song all night,
We can dance all through the night,
Come chill with me tonight,

Verse 2:
Listen to the night,
Listen to the moving of the trees,
Their talking to me,
Controlling me,
They make me move,
As I watch the movement of the 
moon,

Chorus:
The moon is close tonight,
And it's shining on so bright,
And our love is worth the fight,
Come chill with me tonight,

Girl, the party's off tonight,
And their playing the disco right,
And the club won't be jumping 
tonight,
Come chill with me tonight,

I said the dj's on my side,
And he's playing our song all night,
We can dance all through the night,
Come chill with me tonight...


Details | Lyric | |

When you felt alone

There was a time you felt alone, 
A time you thought the world had ended and nobody will find you 
A time when the dark cloud had fallen to your head and no light could illuminate your path, 
When the rivers over flowed their banks and ruptured that cute smile of yours and left you wry for a moment 
You prayed for better days with a bitter voice 
Hoping to see light when all that appeared was a blurred void 
For a moment there was silence during your presence 
Your heart stopped from thudding like a gong 
Your tears stuck on replay like a song 
Nobody could see what you where going thru due to failure of realizing a wrong 
Death being your obsession 
You surely felt no happiness for a while in your possession 
As feeling alone was one of your greatest depressions 
'Harsh the pain' your mind could say but your heart couldn't heal from that severe collapse 
You needed someone to give you props 
Someone to caresses u, and someone to wipe your tear drops 
Someone who won't point out at your wrongs, but try to correct your faults 
Someone who would say, 'thru thick and thin I will be there for you till your heartache stops' 
But all you had was a memory 
A memory that linked you to the past 
The past when your world had ended 
How it ended something you never wanted to remember 
A remembrance that made u feel alone 
Alone because of loosing yourself to the world 
The world that brought misery to your life 
A life that was better with no love 


Details | Lyric | |

No One

We met when we were tiny 
Our dads brought us together
We were different as night and day
You were shy 
I was bold and out going
Yet we were drawn to each other
We became more than best friends
We were like sisters
We grew up together
Each bringing out the best
 In one another
You were my voice of reason
You always kept me grounded
I brought you out of your shell
I was your shoulder to cry on
So why did you have to go
Don’t you know?
How much it hurt when you went
I tried so hard to keep you safe
From yourself that day
And you did it anyway
You took your life and left me 
With 

~No One~

It broke my heart standing there 
As you left me 
A police officer holding on to me 
As I kept trying to run to you
I never cried 
But I made a lot of noise 
Screaming at him to let me go
I’m sure I even put a sailor to shame 
I still miss you my dear friend
My sister 
I wish you were here 
To be a 
Shoulder to cry on
I am afraid to ask anyone else 
Meaning I have 

~No One~

Every once in while 
I feel your presence 
I feel like you are whispering to me
Keep going keep moving on
You even seemed to guide me 
To the person 
Who would remind me of
 You the most
She is kind 
Understanding and caring 
Not shy like you 
Yet she is unique too
She makes me feel safe
Like you always did
There are so many ways she 
Reminds me of you
Yet she is different too
Making her 
Who she is 
Best of all with her 
I feel like I have 

~Someone~


Details | Lyric | |

Unsuspecting Victim

Four teenagers 
Paige
Matt
Kevin
Kat

Backgrounds-
Paige- psychic, can see and talk to the dead, has demons who come to her for help
Matt- Has demons attachted to him, dating paige
Kevin- A Nerd from school, intersted in pot
Kat- Training psychic, paiges best friend, dating kevin

Prom Night- 2011

Sitting in the car positioning themselves
into a compfy spot
Matt sits in the driving seat
Paige in the passenger seat
Kat and Kevin in the back seat
Kat laying on Kevins shoulder
All of them latch there seat belts
Driving unto the road to go to after prom
Paige sees someone
Someone no oe else can see but her
Sitting right beside her is her (demon but almost human ghost) friend
He whispers "i can try to keep you save from everything, but i cant make a promise)
She looks down at Matts foot
Holding unto the break peddal is one of Matts demons
The demon breaks the pedal and has one hand into the engine of the car
A car coming up behind them
Trying to pass them
Matt decides to make it difficult for them to pass
As he does he tries to hit the breaks
And they didnt work
They drive into the ditch 
Trying not to hit the other car infront of them
Flipping a few times as they land with all the tires on the ground and the 
Top of the car towards the sky
Paige lays on the windsheild her head cut by the glass
She looks  at her self
She sees her body laying there looking up at Matt as he smirks to her
His eyes turn black and he smirks again
Paiges ghost friend opens the door and pushes her out
Far from the car
She now lays close to the road
She watches the car as it rolls off the hill
Flipping it again, also looking down at her lifeless body
She sees Matts demon again

The Night After

Paige was rushed to the hospital
Matt, Kevin and Kat left with only bruises and a few cuts
Paiges brain was internally bleeding
She stands in the hospital 
Outside of her body
Standing looking at her ghost friend
He ssays to her "as much as i want you to be here with me, your family needs you in your other life"
She wakes up a few hours later, in her body, and getting better


Details | Lyric | |

Bruise

bruise bruise bruise 
cut 
bruise bruise bruise 
cigarette burn 
bruise bruise bruise 
cut
bruise bruise bruise
broken heart 
bruise bruise bruise 
distracted mind.


Details | Light Poetry | |

HARD TO SEE

                                                                   Water In My Eyes

It’s hard to take off, when you’re left grounded.  Something lost I can’t find it.
 I can’t see my way anymore, I need a guide

                                               “Hard to see with water in your eyes”

A feeling that comes over you, it comes and goes 
Often now putting me to my knees, a thirst for knowledge has grown.
Interpretations given to me, I want to fly but I’m stuck on the ground is what I realized.
I can’t see my way anymore, I need a guide


                                                “Hard to see with water in your eyes”

You carry those you lost and offer you in their place, all you have are the memories a heart ache, a still picture of their face. Quest for knowledge you have shown, you can only save yourself when it’s time to kneel at the thrown. Interpretations given to me, still unable to fly I can’t see my way anymore, I need a guide


                                                      “Hard to see with water in your eyes”

Arms out reached in front of me, waiting for a touch back to assist and help guide me, I know your there even in the open air, as the breeze passes by pushing out the water in my eye.
 Looking to the sky before it drips drops and it freezes. As u notice only your sign the one only you can see. If you found it it’s meant for you to continue to believe. Before you know it you’re looking up into the sky. You see clearly through a dry eye. No more needs God has heard you and now he will guide you.

Walking a set path try to live a life right. God will always give you your way of sight.
Keeping faith is all for just such a reason. It’s nice to see through all life’s seasons. But almost daily it gets blurry and things change size.







                                                      “Hard to see with water in your eyes”
                                                                                 By Paul J Williams Sr
                                                                                 


Details | Lyric | |

Did you even know

In School they misused "adhd"
"Stop acting like you have adhd"
"I'm so hyper today, I think I have adhd"

And I felt the pain, like someone had hit my in the stomach, every single time. But what could I do? 

Adhd is not only hyperactivity 
Adhd is not only being detracted easily 
Adhd is not only high arousal
Adhd isn't my choice, did you know?

I would have begged them to stop, but I was ashamed of being different in such a way that I had problems understanding it myself

I tried to hide it. "Why do you take those pills" they ask. I have a problem with signals in my brain. It's psychical, I tell them. They understand because psychical things are so much easier to understand




Details | Lyric | |

My New Way

My New Way –  By Shawn Chadwick Sackman

One day I woke up 
Feeling sorry for myself
Not what I wanted for me
And then it hit me 
Realized I was free to be anything
Had big dreams before, but where had they gone
From that day on I said come-on 
My true test 
Never lose this feeling, feel so blessed

(Pre Chorus)
Heard the choir singing
Oh man I am reeling
Looked up winked, said thanks for the healing

(Chorus)
It’s my new way
It’s the same me, just a new way of trying 
I’m not letting a thing stop me 
From believing, not deceiving 
I know the way, know how it should be, there just for me
Trick is don't lose faith in believing, in the gift of receiving
It’s clear now that it’s a really new day
For my new way

I now want to try, to see what’s next
Got list of things to do, from my new view
I’m so okay, think I’ll stay

(Pre Chorus)
Heard the choir singing
Has me really reeling 
No no’s, just say yes and go
It’s a great feeling, want everyone to know

(Chorus)
It’s my new way 
It’s the same me, just a new way of trying
I’m not letting a thing stop me
From believing, not deceiving 
I know the way, know how it should be, there just for me
Trick is don't lose faith in believing, in the gift of receiving
It’s clear now that it’s a really new day

‘Cause I know this feeling helps me
Help others who can’t see
Not like before, no gray days for me
Oh what a day

My new way
Oh, I know it’s not just my new way
My new way


Details | Lyric | |

Sweat

The mind goes round in circles
Whispering some secret sound
No relief is to be found
No relief is to be found

Loneliness is sweet, sweet pain
Therein bathe the heart
Oh, hopeless lost unfortunate soul
Waiting for another start

Left or right,
Nothing in-between
No struggles in illusions
No stress and no confusions
Nothing in-between
Day or night

Sweat,
Let the juice of life be clean again
Sweat,
Go back to when it all began

JvN 10.12.2009


Details | Rhyme | |

our love

our love has come and gone
just like the freshly played melody of our song
though i cannot lie
i will sigh
to you i will say a final goodbye
our love has faded away
like a breeze on a hot summers day
our love has gone out of fashion
and its time to move on
because our love has come and gone
like the faded memory of our song
and with a sigh
to you i say a final good bye


Details | Lyric | |

TWLOHA - you are loved

This is a tribute to TWLOHA (To Write Love On Her Arms)

You Are Loved...

Put down the knife
and listen to the song
You can't keep going 
like this for long,
Think of all the
beauty inside,
& not of why
youre criticised.
Know your better days
are ahead,
You are more loved
then you'll ever know,
This is not the end
of your story,
You still have
much more to grow!
You are not alone.
Know someone smiles
because youre alive,
So think of them,
& not of
why you cry.

June25,12


Details | Lyric | |

Letter To A Friend

Dear friend
Where do I begin? 
I got so much on my mind
Sometimes I wonder where we stand
But my emotions is bout to explode
Like a volcano when its eruption
And your name came in mind
When it came to reach out for a hand
I’m overseas fighting
With mortars flying over my head
Bullets traveling toward my frame
Fighting for something I don’t understand
I’m crying cause I need help
And here I don’t have a friend
Today I am alive
But tomorrow I might be dead
And man with this
Always on my mind
Got me scared for the fact
I don’t know if I’m running out of time
Usually I call you
But I have to write this on a line
Cause my voice is so shaky
I can’t say a word but jus cry
To me you’re like a brother
You are always by my side
That’s why I’m writing you
Even though I feel shy
You always seen me tough
But never seen my sad side
I hate that I feel like this
Even though I don’t know why
And I think you are the only person
That can really calm me down
Even though in my eyes
I see death all around
Blood on the sand
Body parts on the ground 
Sometimes I think to myself
How do I stay alive living with a frown? 
But knowing you’re here for me
Is enough to hold me down
Jus writing this to you
Is making me feel better right now
One day we’ll sit down and talk
And on my face you’ll put a smile
But I hope that day comes
Before I’m the next dead person found


Details | Ballad | |

Deirdre

 
Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? I can sence her embrace that feels like Tragedy A heart to have, slipped beneath the waves The dark pulse now beckons us closer How many days will this passion bleed away? We will be the ones left to blame Beware we’ve become their prey They say you’re addicted to your pain A lifeless cold barren soul left to die in the rain A whisper too close to the edge A call from the dark Brings out a saving spark An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? “My Decadence was just for you Though you’d never care what I’ve been through Enter the world were empathy is clandestine A world created by you, just for me What’s Lying in my heart is why You want to through the stone” I call your name towards nightfall’s reign But they take you so far away A dark angel so divine Cursed by Eden’s heart I will avenge every tear An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone?


Details | Lyric | |

A Seething Woe

Minutes creep, Hours sweep
Sleepless nights
the shackles become too tight
Bounded by  you day and night
One,two,three…..
Here comes the Shattering foe , a seething woe
I don, as I walk a heavy load
A precise weight: Ten thousand yoke!
It holds for me a heavy score
For I “Fall upon the thorns of life I bleed’
Phantoms of my sleep
Countless and boundless they stretch upon a shrouded course
The burden of long past ordeals I carry, I bear
Like the very scarlet letter, I stand here, I wear
The hearts of many, with bare hands I tear
A fleeting goodness, a howling soul
Darkness engulfs….
 The past wounds of countless souls,
is what I! Me! The Misanthropic wore….



Details | Lyric | |

Do Not Delay

Remember that day
Your memory set to replay
Remember that day
When your life was astray

Tattered curtains in the wind
A path you soon rescind
Echoes of silence in the halls
Shadows dance upon the walls
Her door off its frame
Search, call her name
Terror brings you to your knees
Your gut twisting with unease

Remember that day
Your memory set to replay
Remember that day
When your life was astray

Screams burn outside
The attack worldwide
Determined to find her
Afraid of what may occur
Heart breaks at the thought
When nearby a gun is shot
Running wild in the night
Praying it’ll be alright

Remember that day
Your memory set to replay
Remember that day
When your life was astray

Words still engraved
Your soul enslaved
Memories on your mind
Apocalypse of mankind
Her love you dearly miss
The unforgettable last kiss
Feeling her last breath
As she welcomed death

Remember that day
Your memory set to replay
Remember that day
When your life was astray
Remember that day 
When she faded away
When you were unable to say
What your heart wish to convey


Details | Lyric | |

Grave Yard

Your eyes shut tight
Hearing a sound
Your heartbeat races
You can feel the little pieces 
Bleeding through
The hairs on your arms
Stand up
Closing your eye lids shut
Keeping them from opening
Reaching your hand over
To turn on the light
Once you do
You open your eyes
And nothing is there
Your heat beat dies down
And your back to feeling alone

Walking to the graveyard 
Going there as you
And leaving there as someone else
You can feel them all around you
Grasping unto you
And never letting go
Places parellel
You know its something paranormal

You decide not to stay
You feel yourself start to fade away
pretty soon everything
will be back where it belongs

The ghost grabbed unto your depression
And it slowly killed you
From the inside out
Now you are in the graveyard


Details | Lyric | |

The Poetry of Shadows

Silence and a stone
A mirror all alone
Shadows on my breath
Stillness seeking life within my death

Vengeance bends my will
The mirror crying still
The shadows hold my hand
Darkness conjures up an evil plan

Attack or break again
Either way’s the same
With horror on my tongue
The shadows claim all I can become

Silence breaking out
The mirror cracked by doubt
A shadow swallows me
The light is gone and I no longer see

Darkness plays a song
My truth now used for wrong
The past becomes today
The backwards child longs to now betray

The silence in his tone
As my screams are turned to snow
Belie his buried schemes
In which the world is lost in his disease

Forgiveness for my tears
Was spent on darkest fears
Now I’m turned to stone
By the shadow-self that represents my soul


Details | Lyric | |

End It

End It
By: IzaDonna

My demons crouch real low
Seeping out of me real slow
The pain protectively covered
Darkening memories like no other
But I hide behind a smile
This life not seeming worth while
The blade I have is ready to go
Life already being at an all time low
So bring on the darkness
i no longer have a purpose

Chorus
I push you away to protect you
My sickness n pain being nothing new
So save yourself from my sorrow
Cause I won't live to see tomorrow
You deserve someone better
So let me be and go find her

Loneliness is my own choice
Feeling so lost with no voice
So I let each day slip by
Everyday just wanting to die
What have I become
Where did all this pain come from
Being left alone is my desire
The spark going out in my fire
My days I feel are at an end
Too far gone to possibly mend

Chorus

So bring on the darkness
I've lost my purpose


Details | Lyric | |

Blind

So many songs describe how i feel
But you wouldnt have the time to listen to them
To actually figure out what they meant
Or how much they related to me
If i died today i can say the only
Thing you would miss
Is me trying to make you smile
Things have been depressing me for years
All the anger i hold is real
Falling further into soemthing
You wouldnt want me to be
I know if i told you 
You would be confused
You wouldnt know what you did
To make me do what im about to do
I let myself cry to long
That i buried myself alive on the inside
I wish i could shut you out
And let you go away for a long time
I guess its better that i trapped myself in my own way
At one point the chain broke away
And i had my own time
I took an early flight and i made it home
I realized how unfair you were being
Everyone always got more than i did
Got your attention
More than i did
If i played my bass 
Would you hear the anger behind it?
If i let you read my poems
Would you understand why im writing it?
If i told you i thought about doing something bad
Would you try to make everything i hate about you better?
I dont think you understand 
Maybe i should explain more
Or would i bore you?
Probally...
So you know
I wanted a father
But instead i had a dad
To me
It hurt
It still does
And i watched myself die
From hurting so much
Cutting my heart out
On the inside
Im different 
In so many ways
My friends give me more complaments
Then my mother has my whole life
"thats good" isnt what i want from you
I would rather have you really 
Grasping the meaning behind why
I am writing poems
The meaning behind why i draw
Or play the bass
Even if i died i wouldnt think
You would get it
If i did what im going to do
I would have you right where i want you
If you want me back
Your going to have to ask
Nicer than that
Things in my life are different than yours
I see things differently
I love music
And i want you to see that
I talk to you through my music
I talk to you through my poems
I talk to you through my bass guitar
You cant trust me?
I lied to you?
Dont you remember when 
You told me you would give me up
for adoption when i was born?
That hurt more than anything
Yes you kept me
BUt you thought about giving me up
Just like you gave up on me ten years later
This will be the last of me
And i hope you understand now
That you are my problem
That you are the one
I couldnt trust
That you were the one who lied
What else could i hide
When i have been an open 
Book his whole time
and you couldnt see it?


Details | Narrative | |

All About Her

I dont know much about her
but I heard she wasnt that talkative
She didnt like being alive
She was numb to all the pain she had to go through

I heard she didnt like anything that was green
She ate roman noodles everynight for supper
She always wore flannels and bellbottoms
Sometimes i seen her wear dresses and fancy tops
But lately shes been wearing band shirts

She wears converse shoes and uses an army bag for school
I know that she dosent like to communicate through talking... only through her peoms
or sometimes even her songs.

I see her drawing and painting all the time
She draws famous people
She would like to be famous and not so unknown
When she tries to speak to anyone they always walk away and leave her alone

When she gets home she goes upstairs to play her bass guitar
She hates chocolate cake but loves chocolate
Her family left her behind because she cant forget her past

Sometimes when shes alone she contemplates the meaning behind her life
Her favorite color is gray because her life is black and white
Everything she says is false according to the world

She is not so innocent
I understand that she dreams about the perfect life
When she opens her eyes they are pitch black

She is someone that is fake
She acts nothing like she should
She is very grungy and unclean

She knows of no safety
and of no time
Her life is smashed into pieces by the giant sun

She will always be a ghost
She knows of no god
She crawls around in the world of death
She remains forgotten


Details | Lyric | |

I Know -Poem about Depression-

I can see through you
I can tell your past was blue
And I hope you still don't feel the same
It's the silent killer to blame

I know you've had those days
Where it seemed that life was a maze
And it was so hard to talk to anyone
The attention they payed to you was none

I understand the pain you've felt
You wanted to tie your neck with a belt
They'd get angry when you'd vent
So then you were back in your depression tent

Nobody but you and me understand
But you and I have a plan
No more faking your smiles
And to a happy future, you'd go many miles

Trust me, it has an end
And it will end with a friend
And it will not end with a grave
Come on, you are brave

We'll beat this together
No matter how stormy the weather
And no matter how fast the winds will blow
I know.


Details | Lyric | |

A Thousand Shadows

Broken down by dreaming
Taken by the night
A wisdom that condemns me
For falling from the light

Arrested by my silence
Frozen by this earth
My wisdom sees right through you
The darkness in your curse

Advertise your trauma
The glitches of your mind
It’s not my place to tell you
I’d like the same in kind

The mirrors in my shadow
Countless as I stare
Their cracks consuming reason
I can’t see them, but they’re there

A thousand shadows haunt me
The infinite in one
I hide behind my curtains
Just to see a million wrongs

Broken down by waking
Taken by the day
My wisdom speaks of healing
Until the shadows have their say


Details | Lyric | |

All we want is to be famous, no matter what we are famous for, we will do it

Everyone seems happy
Everyone loves to entertain 
Everyone wants to be famous
But will you make it in this world

Pick Me Pick Me yea
im the best shot youve got
pick me pick me yea
Im nothing but a snob

A little entertainment on tv
Where you watch your kids die
The commercial reads 
Need more volunteers to get shot

Pick Me Pick Me yea
Im the best shot youve got
pick me pick me yea
please select me im hot

"It just goes to show 
that all we care about 
is getting famous
nomatter what we have to do 
we will do it
just to get noticed"

Pick Me Pick Me yea
Im the best shot youve got
pick me pick me yea
im being someone im not

Die die die die with me
because im famous now
Die die die die with me
because i want to be noticed

Pick Me Pick Me yea
Im the best shot youve got
pick me pick me yea
everyone is hollow

Pick me Pick me Yea 


Details | Lyric | |

Thank you

Thank you for a good lesson,
For the times when you left me alone,
For all my sleepless nights in your house,
For the love that wasn't true,
For the smiles that never warmed me up,
For the looks that never made me stay,
For the realizing that there was nothing
To fight for.

Thank you for your promises that
You have broken in time,
For the words that were ugly,
For the comments that did hurt,
For your screamings, putting me
To work for never saying me
This simple “Thank you!”
Because I thank you.


Details | Lyric | |

Storm In The Wind

(Oh Girl),
You're like the storm and the wind, 
Tearin up the city and breaking the 
trees, 
Whenever I'm around you girl, 
I get weak, 
You're breaking my heart, 
And tearing up me, 
(Chorus) 
Breaking my heart, 
Breaking my heart,  (Tearing up me)
(Ooh girl)
I know we will make it, 
Even though the wind is blowing 
careless at me, 
I can't do this without you girl, 
I'll get weak, 
Stop breaking my heart, 
Bringing me to my knees,
(Chorus) 2x 
Even though the love hurricane is 
blowing careless at me, 
I can't do this without you girl, 
I'm too weak, 
You breaking my heart, 
You're the storm of the week. 


Details | Lyric | |

Better left a lie

My means are small
My dreams are big
My life is poor 
My soul is rich

Fantasies are better left a lie
Fantasies are better left a lie

This world is gray
Love is a loser's game
Why should I play
and just get more of the same... pain

Fantasies are better left a lie
Fantasies are better left a lie

I loved and loved
I poured and poured
I bled and bled

I pour my love inside a girl filled with holes
she couldn't hold
I poured my love inside her hands  
It slipped through like grains of sand
she couldn't hold

I bled and bled
I poured and poured
I loved and lost

Fantasies are better left a lie
Fantasies are better left a lie

*sometimes the realities of what we dream are hard, best to keep dreaming and keep it a dream/lie. 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Eve Of Never New Years Eve Heartbreak

As the time winds down,
And the shots get more hectic,
My mind begins to scramble,
Now *****is getting skeptic,
At 5 I hear your voice,
I see your smile,
I feel your hate,
At 4 I feel Mary,
I feel Love,
But at it's fate,
At 3 I see you walking,
I see him walking,
I see the Eve,
At 2 I begin to set my mind up to believe,
At 1 all hope is lost and by then I can retrieve,
My thoughts and now I can fully receive,
The news but I ask why you had to deceive?
And now you have all of the eyes staring,
As your Infidelity begins to show,
And your conscious begins to scare,
Right around the same time that my heart stops to care,
And in the midst I'm left there,
In the air with no one to lend a comforting hand,
*****I got treated like a fan,
On the Eve of Never.....


Details | Lyric | |

Off The Grid

                                    I am hiding
                           I don't want to be found
                                Can you hear me
                            I am no longer around

                                    I am hiding
                           I don't want to be there
                                 Can you find me
                             I am right over here

                                    I'm in hiding
                             No need for the world
                                   No pretending
                          No more s--t will be hurled

                               You came to find me                           
                             But I'm no longer there
                                 I don't want you
                                 I no longer care

                              You came to find me
                                I have gone away
                               Quit your stalking
                            Your rules I won't obey

                            Don't come to find me
                             I have given up hope
                               Stop your hunting
                           My only friend's this rope


Details | Lyric | |

My Answered Prayers

My life has never been easy.
I was once a lost soul. 
Until that one special day when
his angel wrapped her wings around me with 
a tight hold.
She flew me through sky and guided herself 
through the lives of others.
Other lost souls that is.... and slowly
made my sorrows disappear.
Relinquished my fears and 
replaced them with love. 
We flew like soaring doves.
Finally, we came to a stop. 
And it's all my sorrows that I forgot.
She whispered in my ear...
All the words I needed to hear. 
In that instance I began to cry,
not for me...
but for the other lost souls who needed that same ride.


Details | Lyric | |

3 Angels

I never got to touch your face
I hid a faded smile
my 3 Angels were placed
to comfort me a while
I never got to feel you grow
or become a rising star
I pray that you will never know
of this hidden scar

I never said the word hello
as I welcomed you to life
the only word I was allowed 
was the saddest word goodbye

I never got to see you grin
or hear you laugh out loud
I never got to tuck you in
or watch you sleep so sound

I never said the word hello
as I welcomed you to life
the only word I was allowed 
was the saddest word goodbye

just as the years go by
rain will come and go
but ill always hold you inside
i just wanted you to know

I never said the word hello
as I welcomed you to life
the only word I was allowed 
was the saddest word goodbye


Details | Lyric | |

unnecessary chains

driving home
another late shift 
work long hours just 
to make dues
when the money I received 
gets paid back to you. 
lurking in the shadows
a man that has no soul
looking for ways to make
them like him more
his face is fresh I speak the truth
but justice isn't there...
all he cares is bonuses they set for him 
to slayer. 
corruptness lies where there is debt
and in our debt lies chains
the ones who say we're free are lame to think
its not a game. 
a joke, lies go up in smoke
as he goes home, with his bonus, alone.
wishing his dick was a little bigger. 
wishing the white girl loved him as much as she loves
the man he took away. 
Unnecessary Chains. 
Unnecessary Chains. 
his fresh robotic face
a disgust to the human race.


Details | Lyric | |

Counterpole

My rhymes are timeless while this time is lifeless
why is life this kind less, reminds me that this
mind is spineless ready to tip and quit, as
my lies become mindless and get swollen shut
and Stuck up inside my sinus
Drivin in my prime but with no optimus
Victim to the flip-side of the Midas
Running through my blood like a virus
The sun makes my skin mundane
rubbin on ben gay but get arthritis
touch spermicide and converts to hepatitis
I hit the plus sign but it just musters up a minus
I'm seen sucking my thumb like the peanut's Linus
I run and duck when I hear the sirens cause
I abducted the president's Nike air pumps
now air force one is trying to find us
I'm at my desk obsessin about success but
This whole time its been right behind us


Details | I do not know? | |

Weep and a Moan

Watching the sequence of sound coming out of your mouth...
But the screaming is too loud.
I can speak,
But my brain doesn't want to.

I closed the door.
Silence called for me.
Should I cry or should I run after her?

What have I done to you?
but love you uncontrollably.

Shes then left speechless.
It looks like shes out of breath,
but really I broke her.

She was fragile.
So innocent.

Run, Just run.
A gun raised..
up to her mouth.
And a taint on her heart.


Details | Lyric | |

Forest-Flame

A tale of warning for these times
This world holds more than you will find
Until you stumble into mind
Within the woodland lost inside

As we awaken, into pain
The broken emptiness and shame
We will misplace our brightest flame
The self we journey to find again

In moonlit whispers, we brave the cold
With shadows stalking through the snow
Approaching a forest, so alone
Our spirit guide waiting at home

A wood that’s thickened by this night
Our sadness darkened in this light
We stumble forward, filled with fright
A movement swallowing our sight

Our senses count the crushing beat
A heart of ice beneath our feet
The path is hidden under sleet
These bonds of fear are now complete

Frozen, empty; ensnared by dread
We hear the haunting call of death
The forest living, we now see its depths
Our mind expanding to its breadth

Through hallowed pillars filled with eyes
Through water, fire, earth and sky
Entangled visions unravelling lies
Our fears will fade and sun will rise

In sunlit whispers, we’re no longer cold
Its flame begins to make us whole
We’re through the forest; not alone
Because we never left our home


Details | Lyric | |

Almost

Almost have I reached the sky
Almost did I catch the fly

Almost have I done it well
Almost gave I soul for sale

Almost was I ‘the best’
Almost was I not ‘the rest’

Almost have I lost my path
Almost was I in wrath

Almost did I use the knife
Almost have I lost my life

‘Almost’, why you persecute me?
‘Almost’, can I get rid of thee?


Details | Lyric | |

Bondage

Bondage of life does not make,
if you live life and do not fake.

What is life for heaven sake,
if life we do not partake.

Bondage of life is an ache,
when you know life but cannot take.

Edward J. Ebbs - November 25, 2002


Details | Lyric | |

Thoughts That Think

Was thinking long and hard about giving up writing.
Convinced myself that I'm a quitter and there's no sense in fighting
To keep the only thing that kept me far from the edge
But I can't pretend.
Pretend that it isn't my Fortress of Solitude 
That's honoured me with solemn servitude.
That it hasn't helped put me to rest, thought and mind,
By accepting the past on paper and keeping it close behind. 

I was thinking logically and analytically 
Because it seems to be the only thing I'm good at. 
Thinking about everything I've seen and everyone I've fought to keep,
They're all gone now, only to be found in memories. 
They say Poets and Artists are the architects of Heaven
And only they know it's the hardest when no one buys what they're selling. 
No one wants to listen and no one wants to see 
Because everyone's so sure of what you're supposed to be. 

But what are you supposed to do when you've dedicated your life to understanding?
When you can empathize with your brother, but your own sight you can't stand it. 
When you feel that there's a missing piece and so the wholes hurting.
Swim out long past the reef and any safety that you keep to do some soul searching.
Days and months fighting fears, love and tears, digging the hard soil.
Only to find that missing piece you desperately seek is hidden deep beneath. 
When you've found the straw that broke the Camels back
Only to find there's a million more underneath.

What are you supposed to do when you follow the chains
Long past the plains in hopes to break the link.
Kill the ties that bind and have held you for so long,
Only to find there is no ball, you were free all along.
And in your days of darkness with no life to sip or sup
All the hands around your back were never meant to keep you up
And all of those who have kept you down will fight to keep you dancing to their beat.
Any impenetrable man once stabbed in the heart, will crumble with defeat.


Details | Lyric | |

In Another Light

The best thing you can do about a suicide is understanding it.

The boy opens the door and walks by his mom
his mom says "how was school"
He doesnt respond 
he walks silently to his room
His mom turns away in sadness
"its dinner time Kurt" she yells up the stairs.
He walks slowly down the steps
Hiding something in his hand as he puts it in his pocket
His mother is setting the table
Putting meat on his plate 
He sits down unto the seat
not touching his food
"is there something wrong with it?" his mom asks
He doesnt look at her
"talk to me. why have you been ignoring me" she repeats.
He gets up off the chair and walks outside
Walking into the woods as his mom runs out
"get back here where are you going"

Every living thing dies alone." he writes in white on a tree in there back yard
He throws the rope over the toughest branch
He steps up unto a little chair
Tying the rope around his neck
The chair falls

His mom worries in panic
She cant find him anywhere
She waits up all night

The Next Morning"

She walks out to the garden
Looking up at a tree
She sees the fallen chair from behind a tall bush
She runs
Picking up the chair
Seeing the thing she never thought would have happened
She falls to her knees
A tear falls from her cheek
Not understanding 
Reading the words on the tree
Every living thing dies alone"
She wonders
Thinking
Crying

She untangles him from the tree and holds him
Talks gentle to him
Something she hasnt done in a while
Now grasping the meaning behind what he has done

The best thing you can do about a suicide is understanding the meaning behind it.


Details | Lyric | |

Sweet Seduction

[Verse 1]

My blood is ice inside your veins
Crawling underneath my skin
The price we pay to earn that name
The battle that we never win
Falling faster far below
Further into darkest depths
The kiss of death that you bestow
The poison that is on your…lips

[Chorus]

Sweet seduction
Drug addiction
Words that only he can mend
Sweet seduction
My affliction
Rise to only meet the end

[Verse 2-change]

Your thoughts they plant a grave in me
Like missiles shooting through the skies
The pain you watch but never see
Crystals falling from my eyes
Your words they feel like razor blades
Your touch like acid on the skin
Your love this agonizing pain
The battle that I’ll never…win

[Chorus]

[Breakthrough]
Swallowed up by
Sounds of screaming
Asking questions
Without meaning
Fall away…
FADE AWAY!!!!

[Chorus]
Sweet seduction
Drug addiction
Words that only he can mend
Your destruction
My affliction
Rise to only meet the end

The end…


Details | Epic | |

Sinful Saint

Yeah I walk around life waitng for death/ 
I live in constant despair looking to be blessed/ 
Lies over truth around here always seem to infect/ 
The more sin I get in life the more saintly I seems less/ 
Im trapped in same dark place ;looking for a lighter quest 
I try and live a life full of goodness still trapped in badness I am yet to confess/
 I try and hold onto what seems like something but theres nothing really but family left/
 I know I am not he best, nor am I like the rest/ 
I know I can master checkers but still downed in chess/. 
I got to clean up my act because my life is a mess/ 

I patiently sit back while I ponder life for death and I wait/ 
I might as well look for something simple because I never find nothing great/ 
I struggle to stay under love and over my own hate/ 
I try and be real with others when to my own self I stay fake/ 
I feel life obstacles jolt my ambition like a chain that never breaks/ 
I want less more in life yet as a daily sinner I continue to both physically and mentally take/
 I try and change my dark ways but still struggle at the fact that it might be too late/
 I usaully catch myself complaining when infact I should be thankful for whats on my plate/
 I usually hang onto the past and get scared of the future when I should worry about today/
 I going to be that better man for my child because that sinner no longer in my heart I aint/
 Sometimes in life we all struggle until we strive, but until then Im trapped between a young lost SINFUL SAINT........


Details | Lyric | |

Words

Pushed as for across the line as he can go
feeling more and more disappointed in his self 
His mother doesn't let him be who he wants
He reads her his poem but she just laughs
Telling him he won't get anywhere
She was disappointed in what he has become
He writes a poem about real things
But people just take it as words
Words have no meaning to them
Have you read his new poem? 
Yea I didn't understand it
I wonder why he writes about sad stuff
Will he find god?
Nah there just words


Details | Lyric | |

Running Out

Written September 14, 2011


Is this how I should feel at times like these
Facing crossroads, not ease
RC running miles on plastic tires
And then batteries run dry

Here I lie on a bed of signal fires
Why didn't you stop before the sign
Frozen in time like the watch you didn't wind
I'm bound by thoughts that bind

Am I the dusty classic
Getting shelved in the highest bin
Am I the friend whose forgotten time
Time and again

Is this the way a boy feels
When he's personified again
Is this the way I should feel
Full of regret and gin

Here I lie on a bed of signal fires
Why didn't you stop before the sign?
Frozen in time like the watch you didn't wind
I'm bound by enemies that bind

The days they run on and on
They seem to have no end
I guess that's how it goes
When you're nervous and frozen

Maybe I should have fought the bout
Cause now its as if time is running out
Is this how time is meant to run
So sharp and so high strung

Here I lie on a bed of signal fires
Why didn't you stop before the sign
Stop before the sign
The sign the sign the sign


Details | Lyric | |

Romito

Frozen chrystal tears Shed lightly onto the translucent floor As the moon shatters into shards The night a silent atmosphere of annihilation The stars suspend lifelessy from the firmament Exposing a faint glow of heaven's glimmering light An legion of shadows Marching towards the ends of the earth In search of...Nothing Traveling beyond earths atmosphere Lagging and lingering...wanting only consideration Romito -Romito (Italian for "Lonely")


Details | Lyric | |

GIVEN UP

Look at my face, battered, BRUISED 
U say I mean a lot to YOU? 

How can that BE? 
It’s hard to SEE
Thru these black eyes of mine……

I cain’t COPE
I need some DOPE
I’m better now since I’ve given up HOPE
I just don’t KNOW
How I PROVOKE
What you do to me……

I crave a PORT
My time is SHORT

Know what I MEAN?
You’re killing ME

Please pass the DOPE
I still cain’t COPE
I’m better now just leave me to CHOKE

Cuz I have no sensation nor inclination to do the right thang



Written & copyrighted by Tone Jaxson


Details | Lyric | |

DEPRESSION

Written 4th March 2002


I laugh
when I'm not happy
I sleep
when I'm not tired
I eat 
when I'm not hungry
I talk
when there's no one to listen
I run
when there's nowhere to go
I pray
but is there anyone there
Emotionally I have had all I can take
my head hurts 
my body aches
all because I made a mistake


Details | Lyric | |

A Lie

A new fresh linen hangs on my line
I stray from that tasks that generate jaded tears
with my bare toes I trace a fine vine
the taunting that I bear from my peers

Behold your very eyes
the  king has come to tide
he looks as if he has come from Bise
the noble horse that he rides
overcomes him and snickers in laughter

Next in the line of overcoming laughter
strides in a jester full of poise
does not ponder of what comes after
streaming unbanned is levity for all the young girls and boys

The final visage that enlightens the venturesome parade
is a conductor with no orchestra in tow
an orchestra in his vast mind, the nonsensical tirade
hitching his fine tailcoats while riding a sow

My eyes waver back from the haziness that there was
it was all a dream
an
     Alice
             in
                  Wonderland?


Details | Lyric | |

Trouble

Noise ,trouble all they say,
No hour no minute no second they pay,
Trouble trouble is ours.

All stories reflect us,
Drinking escaping everyday,
More say we’re notorious,
Again commenting nothing we play.

No sand no stone where to step,
Mad, water everywhere,
Presenters’ elders aren’t there,
Never remember our assistant there.

Their looking reflect the wall,
Never speak of strengths,
Evil, evil seen well,
No matter important me acts.


Details | Lyric | |

Junkie

you know its wrong 
but you do it to overpower the pain
not strong enough to stay away from it
you would die without it
in its presence your heart knows no shame
even if you try to win the fight
your heart will overrule your mind
Theres nothing you can do
its chained to you
you cant get free
look what this drug did to you


Details | Lyric | |

The Outcast

(Dedicated to the depressed, the broken, the outcasts)

I’m so fed up with this
It seems like I won’t be missed
You’ve hoped I wouldn’t last
I am the outcast 

Why won’t they see me
Why am I so alone 
Who am I supposed to be
Am I on my own 

Was I born to be put in the ground
Is the world better
When I’m not around 
Am I God’s one mistake
Is salvation too late
They say rules are made to be broken
And I’ve got nothing to hope in 

Why won’t they see me
Why am I so alone 
Who am I supposed to be
Am I on my own

It’s clear to me
I’m the world’s disease 
As I drop to my knees
It’s clear to me
That’ll I’ll never be
What they want to see
 
Why won’t they see me
Why am I so alone 
Who am I supposed to be
Am I on my own

The laughs and the stares
Kills me beyond repair
The sticks and the stones
Go beyond my bones
It’s so hard to be myself
They’ll never see the pain I’ve felt
I carry these scars
With love so far
So far away 

Why won’t they see me
Why am I so alone 
Who am I supposed to be
Am I on my own

If there is a God out there
Please tell me where
I can’t live this life alone
I’m done being on my own
I can’t take one more night of this
Death has such a tempting kiss 
Please God
Save me
Save me from this hell
I’ve seen how far I’ve fell
I need you now 

Why won’t they see me
Why am I so alone 
Who am I supposed to be
Am I on my own


Details | Lyric | |

I Needed You To Stay

(chorus)

Watch these eyes fill with tears
I don’t know where to go from here
Everything is always the same
Lonely nights filled with pain
Why cant I rearrange
Why does opening up feel so strange
Is this what's meant to be,
A life with only me

 I sit and watch down the hall,
Silence waiting for your call,
If I could just hear you say
That you need me today
Then everything would be ok,
I cant make this go away.
Ive done it again
When will this end
Where is my friend
I needed you to stay.

(chorus)
Watch these eyes fill with tears
I don’t know where to go from here
Everything is always the same
Lonely nights filled with pain
Why cant I rearrange
Why does opening up feel so strange
Is this what's meant to be,
A life with only me

You told me I was the one,
Yet its over before it begun
You took my heart
and tore it apart
Where the hell did this come from
All the tears I cried
From all your lies
I cant make this go away
I needed you to stay

 (chorus)
Watch these eyes fill with tears
I don’t know where to go from here
Everything is always the same
Lonely nights filled with pain
Why cant I rearrange
Why does opening up feel so strange
Is this what's meant to be,
A life with only me


Details | Lyric | |

Damaged

One sees love where I see a chance
To dance, tango in the sheets, a one night romance,
Arrogance is a second language sometimes,
The lines are thin when the two intertwine.
I fight the urges that attack me in my sleep,
But lose, I choose to keep the sins, they’re deep
Within my bones, my mind, in my heart
I cry a great cry; wonder why but then start
All over again with a wink and a smile
Knowing damn well that I didn’t know love as a child
All the while, I write poems, and I kiss on the lips
With my tongue and I let her know that she’s the one
That I want by my side, I just lied; justified 
Because I am so damaged I didn’t realize
People’s lives are important to them, as for me
I see something different, they seem to agree 
I need love, I need passion, romance, want a lot
of sex, I am damaged want what I never got
so I search for the one who will give it to me;
to such a degree that it fulfills what I need
then I’ll proceed to spin it, protect it, and sin
it’s a crime but I’ll win it and love it, defend it
then grin as she walks out the door once again;
I’ll binge on the excitement I felt was intense 
But eventually misery takes intensities place
I’ll slow the chase fueled by hate, ease the pace, 
walk with grace, face the demons that I must face;
but disgrace drains love out of my heart, I’m in chains
A prisoner held hostage with a gun but no cartridge;
Because she was a dove while I was the partridge
I’ve had enough of this so I opened the drawbridge
They come up to the edge, but they won’t get across it
I’m crying, bruised, bloody, and broken,
I’m suffering, troubling, hurting, and choking
I’m trusting, assuming, expecting and hoping
She sees progress in me though it’s happening slowly
I look in the mirror and see all I have managed
To do in my life is remain so damaged.


Details | Lyric | |

The World I Know Living In Black And White

the world i know isnt like the world you have been raised in all your life
 This world is darker. more in depth with the outer dimensions
 this world only has one person
 Everything else isnt living.. they are ghost
 this world is like a disturbed painting
 When everything in your perfect little world
 is forced upside down
 Things get bent or twisted
 In your world people are seen for whats on the outside
 In my world its bent the other way around
 You see their inner ugliness
 Becoming their outer beauty
 When you see someone giving money to a poor child for food in your world
 I see a man trying to kidnap a child, beat him, and force sex with him
 My world is a lot more serious then yours
 Your world Is a lot more pathetic then mine


Details | Lyric | |

The Lake

Wind whispering through my hair,
Playing in the grass beside the bank
Dusk echoing the Summer air
Soon I must sleep under this lonely lake...
I hear the birds crying out
As I wade deeper into the murky depths
My heart pounding so loud,
Frigid waters rise above my head

My memories pass me over
Showing me my pain filled past...
I sing my lullaby as I sink lower,
Fearful regrets stopping at last
I take my final breath,
Expecting peace and love
But I was met instead
With fear so great and pain enough

My soul finds no rest
After it was too late, I realized
I must pay the eternal price...
And wander below God's gracious light


Details | Lyric | |

Forever

This is a song we worked on a while back - my friend Ashly and I. It's actually an a cappella piece. Some words I have forgotten. Enjoy!
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Break me
Take me away
From here
Leave me
Here in this place
Forever

Now I'm alone and there's nowhere to hide
These scars are hidden deep inside
The shadows consume me
Watch me die
Forever

Wake me
Out of this dream
That's real
Kill me
Lost in this pain
I can't feel


Now I'm alone and there's nowhere to hide
These scars are hidden deep inside
The shadows consume me
Watch me die
Forever

Clutch in this pain
Nothing matters anymore
Feeling forever 
Alone

Leave me here in this place 
Forever


Now I'm alone and there's nowhere to hide
These scars are hidden deep inside
The shadows consume me
Watch me die
Forever x2


Details | Lyric | |

Im Only Me When Im With You

I'm only me when I'm with you
Oh
Ohh ohh ohh
When im with you
Ohh oh yea yeaa

I'm only me when I'm with you
Oh
Ohh ohh ohh
When im with you
Ohh oh yea yeaa

When I see your smile
I stop and think
Why oh why
Cant he see
What hes doing to me
Oh baby please
Just be with me

Your always on my mind
Is it the way your always kind?
You know i want you
But theres nothing i can do
I wanna be in your arms
Away from all harm...

I'm only me when I'm with you
Oh
Ohh ohh ohh
When im with you
Ohh oh yea yeaa

I'm only me when I'm with you
Oh
Ohh ohh ohh
When im with you
Ohh oh yea yeaa

I wanna be yours
Boy cant you see
Your the world to me 
I cant go a day without you
Thats the one thing ill never do
I live to love you

(gets a little faster)

I should be yours
You shouldnt be hers
Your a one of a kind
Your hard to find
When our hands lock together
I wanna leave you never

(slower)

Ill be yours forever
Just tell me when it starts
Hun you will always have my heart
When you look in my eyes
I let out a little sigh

I'm only me when I'm with you
Oh
Ohh ohh ohh
When im with you
Ohh oh yea yeaa

I'm only me when I'm with you
Oh
Ohh ohh ohh
When im with you
Ohh oh yea yeaa

Now you see i love you
And this is true
I dont care what they say
They dont know what happened to me that day
My heart was hurt
Then you came along
Your the reason i wrote this song


Details | Lyric | |

Never Me

Running fastly down the hall
Turning the corner into the kitchen
His mom standing 
Cutting the carrots
He stands well mannered
Dressed in black dress pants
A white dress shirt
Colored socks
His mom waves her finger at him
"No, Kurt, you dont wear colored socks with dress pants"
She walks over to him
Taking off his socks
A frown falls upon his face
"there just socks mom" He replies sarcasticly
He walks back to his room
Changing into white bland socks
~Years go by- Kurt is 15~

"Kurt!?" his mom yells from the top of the stairs

"yes?" He comes running down in a metallica shirt
Ripped jeans and converse shoes that have holes in them

"what are you wearing? we have to go to church, wear something nicer, why do you have to wear that stupid shirt, why cant you just be normal?" She walks away yelling at him

walking down the stairs in his outfit, Walks outside and walks down the street
"kurt?! get back here" she yells
He keeps walking
Walks further until he hits the end of the block
His mom cursing at him from afar
He sits on the corner of the street
and yells " im not going to church, im buddhist"
she stands in shock that her son has said that
She walks to the car and leaves him there
He goes back inside the house and writes her a letter

"Mom, I am 15 almost 16, Let me dress how i want, i dont want to be like everyone else, im my own person, you might not see it, but i do, and i do not wantto be bland anymore, im ready for something more exciting, wearing what i want, and not going to church, im buddhist, things have changed, you cant boss me around anymore, im getting tired of it sooner or later your going to loose me, your to busy yelling at me and how i dress to even sit and spend time with me, so im gone, i have better things to do then to just sit here and act all happy when im not. so goodbye mom have fun being boring"

Things might not actually be that bad
If she would have just let me be myself
I was never me when i was there
I was one of them
And thats something i never wanted


Details | Lyric | |

Beside you in time

Standing facing you
As you face me
The words fall out of your mouth
I see them float to my ears
I read them as they fly by me
Leaving me 
Just like you are
You turn to me
And you shot me
Telling me to dig the bullet
Out of my heart
I reach inside my heart
As it crumbles apart
Into a million pieces
As i try to pick up all the pieces
I realize some are missing
And were neverto be found
I see myself
Holding the bullet
As im standing next to you
Holding up a fake smile
Things havent changed
Because
We were meant to be
Even tho you left me
I will be standing 
Beside you in time


Details | Lyric | |

Over and Beyond

I stand here, Dead in the dark, I try not to shed a tear, Why'd it have to be so far? I stand here, Thinking of the future, Thinking of fear, Does it have a cure? I stand here, Thinking of how to succeed, With obstacles at the end of each peer, Wanting to show I am not another bead, On another necklace, Am I dirt to be stepped on? I show how to be free, Like a wild horse, I know I am meant for great things, That's why I want to go Over and Beyond, To the edges of the earth, Not sure where it ends, Dieing for rebirth, I shall not bend, To your every whim, I shall not cry, I will not give in, I shall not die. I walk here, Through vines of life, It's getting near, Will I be intertwined? I walk here, Looking for a light, Waiting for the fog to clear, Will I shine bright? I walk here, Showing the truth, Ready to steer, Will my mood still be blue? I show how to be free, Like a wild horse, I know I am meant for great things, That's why I want to go Over and Beyond, To the edges of the earth, Not sure where it ends, Dieing for rebirth, I shall not bend, To your every whim, I shall not cry, I will not give in, I shall not die. I will run, Into his arms, Not shedding blood, Into his care. I will run, Off that cuddled peer, Showing my love, Showing no fear. I show how to be free, Like a wild horse, I know I am meant for great things, That's why I want to go Over and Beyond, To the edges of the earth, Not sure where it ends, Dieing for rebirth, I shall not bend, To your every whim, I shall not cry, I will not give in, I shall not die. I show how to be free, Like a wild horse, I know I am meant for great things, That's why I want to go Over and Beyond, To the edges of the earth, Not sure where it ends, Dieing for rebirth, I shall not bend, To your every whim, I shall not cry, I will not give in, I shall not die. So don't try to stop me, I will only push pass, Through those trees, Through the cold, damp grass. I will succeed. I will succeed. I will succeed. I will succeed. Don't stop me.


Details | Free verse | |

Return To Dust

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

I'll See your face again
I swear it
No matter how far away they take you from me
Fading, Going Away, Don't be so afraid
Death is a Dream


The Cross Will Be lighter
Whisper the words
so sacred, so somber

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

A Fallen Angel looms over the lifeless stone
What Happened here must be true
I must live this life without you

Breaking the Silence
She began to Weep
The Epitaph ceasing to know 
We all must Return To Dust

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

The solitude is euphoric as an illusional clock
Of argentine fears swallow the last soul
Goodnight black rose of eternity
Goodnight dearest gothic phantom
Tonight The Earth consumes me




**Special Thanks To My Writing Partner Cayla Carr**


Details | Lyric | |

Shattered Sunlight

The memory strikes the day
The darkness comes to play
Where everything I say
Is not enough, my sunlight has to pay

With everything undone
No place left to run
Another bullet in the gun
For all I am; for hiding from the sun

A shadow in my dreams
For years I’ve planted seeds
My presence a disease
My perfect plan, uprooting all I see

The darkness calls my name
Your beauty just a game
Deception born from shame
I can’t give up until you feel the same

My memory of the light
Hopes some day that you might
Run away, before I steal your sight

But memories of my way
Now shattering the day
And I would scream aloud, but only for your pain


Details | Lyric | |

What If Tomorrow Never Comes

I recall now the days when forever seemed but a short time The visits to the hospital, brought sad images to your mind She lay on a bed, cords all around her, no hair upon her head The cancer drove us crazy with worry tears and fright She was only a baby, I didn't get the chance to say goodbye Farewell until we meet again where you'll be waiting... waiting for tomorrow to come again. What if tomorrow never comes? How will I face the rising sun, when the moon is the only thing I can see? I need her here with me... The only loss I've ever known The only time that I've experienced this kind of sorrow... So what if tomorrow never comes? What if tomorrow never comes. And now I lie here thinking it through, memories flash through my head, memories of you Moments of a bittersweet time Reminiscing the days when you were mine The days when you were alive The tears come back to my eyes I feel the need to cry but nothing slides out I need to scream and shout, My emotions pour out as one, silently So what if tomorrow never comes? Reality in death is so hard to accept, I need my tomorrow to come... What if it never does? What if tomorrow never comes? How will I face the rising sun, when the moon is the only thing I can see? I need her here with me... The only loss I've ever known The only time that I've experienced this kind of sorrow... So what if tomorrow never comes? What if tomorrow never comes. Will tomorrow ever come? I just want to be awake when the moon becomes the sun I'm waiting here for you, in the darkness of the night. I wait still for you, forever the images will haunt my mind Tomorrow will come I'll soon be alright Tomorrow will come... Tomorrow has come... I can now see the sun.


Details | Lyric | |

Alsace

Written March 9, 2013


There was a girl in Alsace, France
With her bread and wine
She may go crazy
She may just learn to dance
That little girl in Alsace, France

In another world
In another time
In another world
In another time
She may go crazy from that red red wine

In her chalet on the mountain top
With champagne from her private stock
It kills her just to hear the pop
Her smile spins around nonstop

Now it's her time to shine
On the river river Rheine
She may go crazy
That little girl, I'll make her mine
And she'll be sane in no time


Details | Lyric | |

Tears of a Runaway

Tears of a Runaway

Blinded by these tears;
Choking on my useless words;
Heart racing like a horse;
Lungs gasping for air.

I long for that happiness
That I once felt.
Instead, painful memories
Are coming back to hurt me.

Running away
Sounded like a good solution,
Even though I may trip and fall.
I'll just keep on running, 'til I can't run at all.

I trip and completely fall down,
But I don't get up this time.
I’m just lying on the ground, now,
Crying ‘til I can’t cry anymore…tears.

Blinded by these tears;
Choking on my useless words;
Heart racing like a horse;
Lungs gasping for air.

I don’t know what to do now.
I’m just paralyzed on the ground;
Except that I’m also shaking
From all the crying that I’m doing.

Running away
Wish I could say
That I would stay.
But, God, just please help me?

The coldness is wrapping around me
Like it’s a frozen blanket.
Trapped in this cold, cold world
And in my mind, memories swirled.

Blinded by these tears;
Choking on my useless words;
Heart racing like a horse;
Lungs gasping for air.
As I lie here,
I wonder
What it would be like
If my life was happier.

I can’t really say for sure
What would be going on.
But if my life was happier,
I wouldn’t be singing this song.

I once felt that warmth and comfort,
But now it’s gone.
And it’s been so long
That everything in my life now is wrong.

I’m blinded by these tears;
Still choking on my useless words;
My heart still racing like a horse;
My lungs still gasping for air.

These are the tears of a...runaway


Details | Lyric | |

Last curtain call

Last curtain call..
 
 
We don't belong together, we never really did.
 
When I am around you I don't feel like the kid i once did.
  
I say this with a tear in my eye and a sigh in my heart but now is the time we must part.
 
I gave you the key to my heart and you just put yours away,
 
I sat there and waited for a love that was never meant to come my way.    
  
I love you deeply and that's why it hurts me so to say good bye to a lover but now i must 
stray,
 
So with this tear in my eye and the blood on the walls killing you was my last curtain call.
 
Deborah Olson


Details | Lyric | |

Lunar Love

Can this ever stop The world is blacked by the lunar love All the tides have gone undone The seas beckon us with their rage Will they ever calm The mist covers our sight The storm comes Her eyes are the color of dyed blue With her raven hair and crimson lips She sleeps quietly waiting for the innocence of me But I've already put her in vain And tossed her aside I've already condoned my belovéd The desire was so much I couldn't face it In the eyes Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love The moonbeams light up my pale face I don't want to be seen Banished from this world I'll ever be Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love I cry but the sun cant hear Do I exist? This eclipse took over Now I'm left to face it all Left in the dark where can we go Lunar love is what we'll be Lunar love is what we have Fly away from the scene The tides are blind from the madness Even to the mountains they'll kiss The storm is too much The desire was so much I couldn't face it In the eyes Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love Lunar love is what we'll be Lunar love is what we have The moonbeams light up my pale face I don't want to be seen Banished from this world I'll ever be Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love The ghosts are tangled in my dreams They play with what was meant to be forgotten But I know there must be a away To find the closure But so lost are we So lost I've been Save yourself from the downfall How close are we to the edge This is what the rage has done This is what the sin has done The desire was so much I couldn't face it In the eyes Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love The moonbeams light up my pale face I don't want to be seen Banished from this world I'll ever be Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love Lunar love is what we'll be Lunar love is what we have Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game


Details | Lyric | |

Stay

She said baby I have to go,
I said girl you don't need to go,
Because baby I want you to stay,
'Til the sun rise,
'Til the end of the night,

I said baby I'm feelin you,
And I'm fallin in love with you,
Which is somethin I never thought I would do,
But, I did today,
So girl, Why don't you stay,

Chorus:2x
Why don't you stay, 4x
'Til the sun rise,
'Til the end of the night,

She said baby I have to leave,
I said girl I don't want you to leave,
My darling please stay with me,
'Til the night end,
Then come back again,

Because baby we have a chance,
For us to have a great romance,
So, girl take my hand and dance,
You don't have to go,
Baby don't go,
Chorus: 3x

'Til the sun rise,
'Til the end of the night,


Details | Lyric | |

away with the sun

Its getting late
but you already came 
and while you were here
things never change 
you lay with me
and tell me your words
then you leave 
and I feel hurt.
Its not you that hurts me 
but the sound of the door
closing behind you 
I know for sure 
you'd like to stay 
but you never do
I'm left alone 
missing you. 
These days its more frequent 
you leave so much
that you're gone more hours 
than the day brings sun
and I have begun 
to feel so numb
when the door closes 
another night I run
far away from the thoughts I have 
because its killing me to look
at my empty hands
I remember when we were on the sand 
you told me you loved me
but you weren't my man 
and so I walked, feeling okay
but too many months 
now I want you to stay
Am I selfish?
asking too much?
You only visit me an hour
after dusk
and I must go on
but should I stay?
when you see me sometimes
but its always too late.


Details | I do not know? | |

Just Let It Go. . .

Let go

I'll bring you closer

Right now

I'll hold on tightly

Let go

We're going no where

Somewhere

And aren't over

Harder times like these!

Growing up on the streets!

Harder times like these!

I'll put you back on your feet!

And I fall to the ground with my teardrops

And I get lost everytime my heart stops

This love this      is burning me away


Details | Lyric | |

Where I Sit

I am not going to think about it ,
Can't do much from where I sit.
    Wasn't me that couldn't agree,
We know who it's so easy to see.
    Won't say much to help you out,
It was your decision that's no doubt.
     You've done no wrong I can hear you say,
Always the same with you every single day.
      Telling me I am wrong and just no good,
I should have left you back when I could.
      Now I am stuck  so in love wit you,
And all you want is something new.
      The evil and wickedness that you  soe
Has touched just about everybody you kow.
      Living the lie and playing the deceit,
Preying on the kind and gentle those who are weak.
       The day will come when you will pay ,
For all those you hurt along your way.
        It's not always good to come out on top ,
Especially when you see it's only you that you've got.
        Live out your days alone , sick and afraid .
You just wouldn't listen to anything I'd say.
        I am sorry my dear but this you did on your own,
It's your turn to suffer and you can never come home.
        I'm not going to think about it,
Wouldn't do any good from where I sit.
TAC


Details | I do not know? | |

Lonely Soul

Are you just the same as me?
Do you hate the skin you're in?
Does your soul not belong to your mind?
Do you fear getting left behind?

Are you just the same as me?
Are you coy and are you meek?
Do you hide behind a facade
When things are really getting bad?

Close your eyes and you will see
You are just the same as me
Me and you are one of a kind
With tattered souls and tattered minds

Lonely soul, where are you from?
Who are you? Where do you belong?
Can you get through this alone?
Will you find a better home?


Details | Lyric | |

Dream Liberty -- Butterfly Effect

Butterflies quietly fluttering In my soul Transforming my life Morphing into something so unreal So Different, silently beautiful So hidden and lost A fire dances on my pale iced face Lively prancing as each sheds more light The embers glow in your singed shadow Was this eternity meant to last forever? I couldn't believe that a simple flap of butterfly wings could cause such a storm, a storm in my mind The simplest things causing the greatest of pains Why cant I be one of them Forever and free I'll be with my dream of liberty Punishing the dead Can you never let anything go Is it all to hard to see That your bias takes you on a blinded delusion Where all they plunder is hate Terror is a virtue When becoming a king So cut off the strings of my life With your power And you will see the strength of the dream of Liberty I couldn't believe that a simple flap of butterfly wings could cause such a storm, a storm in my mind The simplest things causing the greatest of pains Why cant I be one of them Forever and free I'll be with my dream of liberty I couldn't believe that a simple flap of butterfly wings could cause such a storm, a storm in my mind The simplest things causing the greatest of pains Why cant I be one of them Forever and free I'll be with my dream of liberty


Details | Lyric | |

Pitiful Tuesday

Broken down, shaken up
Not an inspiration to keep on going

Nothing here to do in this place
Just another rainy day alone

My fare weather friends are all gone
What a pitiful Tuesday

Nothing new going down, 
Nother here to do in town

This redundance is driving me mad
Who wants to hang with a bum like me?

I ain't nothing interesting, 
Just another shadow on the wall

Relationships so complex,
Old best friend's dating my Ex
Why don't we put an end to it all?

Just killing time on the couch, 
Watchin some old school shiz go down

Wish I could go blind, 
Wish this life would rewind
I'm nothing but another weed among a million

Tired of looking like a fool, 
Sick of feeling like a tool
Lacking the energy for self esteem

I'm a loser and life's a whore, 
Waking up is such a chore
Forgot my brain on my pillow again this morning

There's a limited compacity,
For this idiocracy
Left inside this thick skull


Details | Rhyme | |

Lydia's DaddY

...eyes puffy                       
      caked up with cry

Daddy ain't comin' home
       but 
         she don't know why...
 
grown folk sadness
         ripping inside her

       All she's known about lovin's 
               in the coffin beside her


Details | Lyric | |

Tragedy

The most tragic stories
Are the ones
That are filled with most of the love
People have been searching for.


Details | I do not know? | |

Adrenaline

No more wings on butterflies Birds stay on the ground Once again I realize My world's been turned upside down I can't breathe I can't sleep Life isn't easy My heart is gone No more rythmn in the beat My adrenaline Killing me As I begin to realize My life is a lie My blood's running dry The rush of my adrenaline is killing me


Details | Ballad | |

Toxic Logic

take my soul and crush it... like you do... every day... You've never looked so beautiful as your figure walks away the sad screech of my broken heart as it ceases to play you took me along for the ride of a lifetime, only to throw me away, every single day, and it is a crime, without reason or rhyme, to push me along with your toxic logic,  abandoning me again with an afflicted soul,  and my heart doesn't know that it is your toxic logic that twists me up inside brought on by your reign, and I can't recall my name Once again in my little hell, all by myself, my very essence betrayed, is there any more to tell? Lie after lie has fooled me, but now I'm done But I still love you, so my pain is far from done. You think that I'm inferior to children, that you can't talk to me, though I've been here since day one, why can't you see? that my existence is for you, and no one else,  and the sickest bit of it puts me in a rage... and i try to turn the page...  But I'm trapped in your toxic logic,  abandoning me again with an afflicted soul,  and my heart doesn't know that it is your toxic logic that's killing me inside brought on by your reign, overwhelmed by pain I see the world in black and white, no color left for me, I gaze across the room, and what do I see? I see yet another soul about to be ensnared, by this predator, but I simply don't care. I lost a part of me, and it used to let me love, But it has been snatched from me by this uncaring troll, and here I am, an empty vessel of defeat. I simply don't know, I truly have been beat. But as I retreat... from anger flows heat... Seared by your toxic logic, abandoning me again with an afflicted soul, and my heart doesn't know that it is your toxic logic that branded me inside brought on by your reign... damaged by pain... The last tether to you broke, I'm free at last. an empty part inside remains, holding me fast. I sink to my knees as the vacuum in my soul starts to shrink, loving you brought me to insanity's brink. I slowly raise my head... and gaze ahead... No longer captive to your toxic logic, that abandoned me with an empty soul, and my heart now knows that it was your toxic logic that tortured me inside under your maniacal reign... which gave me nothing but pain…


Details | Lyric | |

Litany of Decay

This is for Litany of Decay

All hope tonight is just a void
Th cure was lost so long ago
But I still dream you will lie  next to me
Though you gave up on me so long ago

I miss the way the pain made me forget
I miss the way the pain made me Lose all misery

All hope tonight is just a void
Th cure was lost so long ago
But I still dream you will lie  next to me
Though you gave up on me so long ago

I miss the way the pain made me forget
I miss the way the pain made me Lose all misery

All hope tonight is just a void
Th cure was lost so long ago
But I still dream you will lie  next to me
Though you gave up on me so long ago

I miss the way the pain made me forget
I miss the way the pain made me Lose all misery

Your love was never meant for me
Nothing I was when you met me
Nothing I was when you left me
Nothing I am as I destroy myself

I must Live to face another day
To sing this damned litany of decay
My heart beckons for the grave
But there is no escape
So I sing this litany of decay
Don't mind me as I fade

Dance with me under the light of the moon
And sing to about my doom
Serenade me with an epitaph 
So I might feel what it's like to truly die

I see your face, it takes all the pain away
But you suddenly fade into the darkest of shade

Your love was never meant for me
Nothing I was when you met me
Nothing I was when you left me
Nothing I am as I destroy myself

I must Live to face another day
To sing this damned litany of decay
My heart beckons for the grave
But there is no escape
So I sing this litany of decay
Don't mind me as I fade

Living is suffering
Homicidal with you
Suicidal without you
I understand if you give up on me

The burden will fall
Today I might, today I may
Set you free, from me 

Your love was never meant for me
Nothing I was when you met me
Nothing I was when you left me
Nothing I am as I destroy myself

I must Live to face another day
To sing this damned litany of decay
My heart beckons for the grave
But there is no escape
So I sing this litany of decay
Don't mind me as I fade


Details | Lyric | |

I Wasn't There to Fall In love

I wasn't expecting for anything...
Then i saw you, and you change everything...
I wasn't there to capture your eyes...
I wasn't there to fall in love...
And yet, you took my breath away...
But your heart is taken by someone else...
And you came after me...
You played with our hearts...
And broke both of our hearts...

I wasn't there to fall in love...
And yet, you took my breath away...
You took my heart away...
You took my soul away...
And left me with nothing...
you left me with huge question mark over my head...
Asking myself why!...

I wasn't there to fall in love...
Yet, you broke my heart...
You broke me while I'm still mending myself...
Still healing my heart...
It takes forever to fix it...
But a second to fall for someone like you...
And now you barely look at me...

I wasn't there to fall in love...
And i wasn't looking for one...
But my heart chose you...
And it can't seem to let you go...
I try to look strong and pretend to get over you...
But deep inside, its tearing me apart...
Yes I'm weak more than you ever know...
And I'm not gonna show it to you...
At least not in front of you...

I wasn't there to fall in love...
And yet, I fell for you..


Details | Sonnet | |

Vast Love

The love that kisses with a tasteless tear
A pain that can’t be painted on the soul
A longing for a place without a fear
Longing for a feeling that makes me whole
Beloved, words can’t heal my tattered heart.
As thorns pass me by the pain cant compare
That of the pain of being torn apart
Even the wind howls about it I swear
Tell me was falling in love my mistake
I chose my own fate and decided to stay
I will not let this love become forsaken
Love can’t just get up and spirit away
Love is worth overcoming a mountain
My love for you flows like a vast fountain


Details | Lyric | |

A Turning Point

 Within seconds, life and death collide
Within a blink of an eye, your last moments
To hope, to trust, and to surety you are tide
Your heart falls to its knees, and begins to pray to a God it so desperately needs
You begin to lose ground….
Your very last breath …as you exhale and inhale is soo profound
For it marks your very being
All your sense are directed inward
With sudden fear your heart is well cornered 
And a shrieking silence begins to sound, like thunderous cries
Your mind begins to play tricks, to you, it tells false wishing lies
Do not give up, to move head on…it whispers! it lies!
With that last breath. As you exhale and inhale you still exist 
What was once real
 When life was once clear
All of that banishes
Even the hoping! The longing! For a nobler tomorrow vanishes
Leaving all your nerves fried
Leaving your soul dried
Your very gist slowly but surely have died
Numbness begins to creep in
Like a devil when he whispers a sin
Like a drum roll leading to a scene’s climax
Like when your heart drops to your feet
 When all stops…silence engulfs, 
Shhhh!!!
Can you hear it?
The wait begins to take a heavy toll on your nerves,
for the moment that you have for soo long anticipated
The very instance…
The moment when life and death collide
The very last moment,
When to hope, to  trust and to surety your soul is tied
It all of a sudden unfolds, leaving that body of yours dead and cold
A chapter finally ends
A heart is finally set at rest 
I say my goodbyes
And wish only to see you in the afterlife
 


Details | Lyric | |

Yester

Yester year grievous
brought events mischevious,
fulfilling fate malicious:
my worst fears,
my nightmares vicious;
I was oblivious
to how cruel life can be.

I suffered
soul turned cold,
heart in flames,
my existence- all in vain.

I withstood
all that came
and still waited:
come what may.

My heart burned,
my soul froze
my ego died.

I awoke
coming to life:
damaged,
yet emotionally indestructible.

No pain is painful nowadays,
no trouble would bother me,
no emotion may hurt;

The sacrifice was cruel,
yet it became fuel
for my new life.


Details | Ballad | |

Siren's Song

She’s alone under beach lights, she’s screaming at air
wishing someone would notice, could anyone hear,
feel the anguish, the loss, losing battle of one?
She’s at war with the world and she’s comming undone.
‘It’s all wrong,’ left her lips, ‘it’s alright,’ said the tides,
‘sometimes we all need a safe place to hide,
to wait inside shadows, return with new light
cause we change and we change till the patterns are right.’
‘But this pounding resounding inside of my head,
I fear is the only thing tangible left.
I can hear it and feel it consuming my head,
eats me up from the inside, lays nothing to rest.’
But the water just turned and it crashed upon rocks,
became angry, determined, climbed onto the dock,
said, ‘Listen to me, I am old and I am wise,
what reason have I to fill you with lies?
I’m a part of your body, a piece of your world,
have I not kept you living since you were a girl?’
But her feet kept on forward at a steady pace
“I’m sick and I'm tired, I'm leaving this place.
I can wait no longer for the turning of time.
I'm the only one left and I’ve been left behind.”
‘But they’re here! Someone’s coming! It won’t be long yet.”
but her mind was as certain as certain could get
and the rushing of water had drown out the sound
as the pounding inside became heavy and loud
and the water, though angry, then grew very still
whispered ‘There is nothing if nothing is fueling a will.
I cannot instill a desire to live, eventual peace is all I could give.’
So she sank and she sang all the air from her lungs,
she breathed in the waves awaited silence to come.
“As I have in you, you may now flow through me,”
and the tides changed again as they dragged her to sea.


Details | Lyric | |

Save Me From Desperation

It's been so long since I could Feel you, Hold You I'm wondering if it was Just an Illusion For love For me could Not be real Nobody could Love over The Borderline, not even I So if you ask you'll know why I silently began to cry I need you here, to hold me I'm so scared without You I just want to Sleep forever Never stray away far Save me From Desperation Never Say It wasn't meant to be I can't take this lie You Kill me With this So much I hurt so much inside these words burn as I cry This life is destroyed without you The joy that comes is the Joy of the Empty The despair I'm prone to maynever wilt I way You could have been there You could have saved me but no you left I was here to stay In the Dark When the razor called me back You could have been my light throughout the eternal black My Soul Has yearned for but where are you Please come back to me I desire just a one word of comfort just from you, only from you Tell me this is just a Lie Just a Hallucination from my Mind I'm suffering I'm Dying I Need you I'm begging just for one word please save me from Desperation I'm the Petal You're the Wind Without You I can never go Far You're not here I'm now stranded alone In the plagued island of my mind only if you were here only If you here You could have Saved Me From Desperation


Details | I do not know? | |

Until We Bleed

I'm naked
I'm numb
I'm stupid 
I'm staying

This isn't love. You use me. 
When you get home from the club or wherever you've been late at night,
You're clumsy with your hands.
Clothing seems too hard to get off.

And if Cupid's got a gun
Then he's shooting

But I can't leave. 
No matter what happens, it's too painful to go.

Lights black
Heads bang
You're my drug
We live it

We're too uncomfortable with the lights on.
I don't want to see your face-
Slurred, clueless.
Angry.
You don't want to see mine-
Helpless, confused.
Depressed.

You're drunk
You need it
Real love,
I'll give it

Everything is hazy to you.
I bet you can't feel.
But I'll love you anyways.
I always have.

So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
And love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

This has gone on forever, to me.
I'll try to be like you,
To see what it feels like.
I drink the last bottle of vodka
And hold onto you.

You've wasted your times
On my heart, you've burned
And if bridges gotta fall
Then you'll fall, too

Maybe this is the part of life
That people told me about
It doesn't mean anything
It hurts you.
You grow so attached that when one piece collapses
You do too.

Doors slam
Lights black
You're gone
Come back

You leave when the ordeal is over
Because you couldn't really care less when you're sober
You don't have a reason anymore

Stay gone
Stay clean
I need you
To need me

I want you to be happy
To be the way you were before.
But I think without you,
Even though I only see you late at night,
I would be destroyed.

So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

I'm getting up to leave
The keys are for you

Now we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

But I'll come back soon
I'll come back


Details | Lyric | |

Memory

It is a wonder
How quickly 
you became
a memory
and how quickly
my heart resigned itself
And gave up hope
that you even
remember me.


Details | Lyric | |

Cellar Door Escape The Fate

We walk through the doorway, heard you calling from the hall
To find you in the bedroom not breathing at all
I drag your body to the cellar where we lay, 
the wax it melts away, 
I kiss your face...
Now we are starting to love you more,
your body's on the canvas, 
That I painted on the floor
Now you wait,
like the drug, 
like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh,
now it hurts in the worst way, 
now that you're gone, 
its so wrong,
its so wrong....
If I could take you somewhere,
I'd take you to my darkest place, 
scatter you in art forms, admire the whore,
beauty in different ways your hands on picture frames, 
your eyes in the glass wear your face as a mask
Now they are starting to love you more, 
a gallery of your beauty no charge at the door
As you wait, 
like the drug, 
like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh, 
now it hurts in the worst way, 
now that your gone, 
it's so wrong, 
it's so wrong....
And down below your veins run dry your vacant eyes, 
I lost control your face is pale, 
your body's cold
And down below your veins run dry your vacant eyes, 
I lost control your face is pale, 
your body's cold
(face is pale your body's cold )
Wait, like the drug, 
like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh, now it hurts in the worst way, 
now that your gone, 
it's so wrong, 
it's so wrong...



Details | Lyric | |

Well of Insight

Born into accursed sight
Through water leading to rain
The forethought of lonely nights
Brings only tears to comfort the pain

A deepening well of truth
Opposite force of this disease
Even though it just offers proof
To why you should run from me

The echoes of life’s disdain
Whisper as I will sleep
As I beg them to steal the shame
The darkness begins to creep

Two more days and I am awake
Screaming in silent prayer
As I beg myself to forsake
The idea that I am scared

But my suffering leads to more
Through the tears I see again
The isolation I so adore
Is a song that will bring the rain


Details | Rhyme | |

Strings

If I hold on to strings,
That tend to slip away,
Does that mean I love things,
That I know will never stay?
If I hang on to a love, 
that just holds me down,
Does that mean that my wings,
Won’t get me off the ground?
If I hold on to lies,
That I only half believe,
When I look in your eyes,
Will you look back at me?


Details | Lyric | |

Broken Orbit

Never enough to give me life
Money, a future and a wife
Even the beauty of the world
Isn’t enough to save myself

Drifting and lonely ‘til the end
Honest reflection of this hell
Always I wanted to deny
That I could not save my shattered mind

Never connected to this earth
Always in pain for what it’s worth
Even your twisted little smile
Was too far a distance to redial

Bring me a reason and a soul
My mimicry needs to be made whole
I just can not do this on my own
A reason evades this broken drone

Just give me compassion and the right
To get through this horror, let me fight
Instead you will burden me with loss
Because I just can not meet your costs

Always once more, and once again
The world I reject will do the same
I can not do this all alone
But this is all I’ve ever known


Details | Ballad | |

An Escape From You

Can I stop the sobs
Am I strong enough
To escape their evil
To deny what’s real

I ask myself why God would
Stick me in this jail, my own hell
So if I get help I might not feel
My own manic episodes, this is real

Am I bleeding
Am I seeing the truth
Or is it just a way
To deny my love for you

They say 
Just pop a pill
To numb 
All that can’t heal

Can I stop the sobs
Am I strong enough
To escape their evil
To deny what’s real

Is it delaying the problem
Is it sticking a bandage
On a broken arm
Am I covering the truth
Is it an escape from you

I have no idea
If it’s the right thing to do
But all I know is
I must forget you

So I’ll take this bitter pill
And I’ll conceal my inner hell 
Cause it’s all I can do
To stop loving  you


Details | Lyric | |

A Penny for Your Doubts

Her arms tell a story that she'll never show.
She just a lonely soul that nobody knows.

They could care less,
They wouldn't notice anyway,
As she idles by and slowly wastes away. 

Layer by layer,
She's coming undone.
These emotions have her under the gun. 
She can hide from herself,
But she can't hide from this life. 

Who would want the broken bits?
Who would want these scarred wrists?

Crash course,
On a mission to self-destruct.
No one even notices,
As the time turns to dust.

Afraid of the one thing that can cure the pain,
Her picture never quite fit the frame. 
Lost in a sea of faces.


Details | Couplet | |

The Deadly Dart

Wherever I go through out my whole life,
I end up struggling with lots of strife.
Thinking that my life is a total waste,
Wanting it to be over in a haste.

I can feel the pain inside my own heart,
Like someone through at my a deadly dart.
The wound is easing deeper and deeper,
Will the pain ever stop getting bigger?

Feeling emo is never a good thing,
Cutting your arm makes a really bad sting.
Blood is dripping from my arms and my heart,
Failing to dodge the largest deadly dart.

Drowning in all the lies and self pity,
I live each day but always feel sh*tty.
I have lots of thoughts about suicide,
But then I think about those who have died.

Those who have died not just from suicide,
But also those who are really nice guys.
...
...
...
...This "poem" was actually suppose to be a couplet (on any thing you want) for my english 
class but i made this kind bcuz i was feeling emo that day...and also after i was done i read it 
over and it almost sound like a rap song which, i guess, is kinda funny and cool.........


Details | Lyric | |

The Beginning of the End

I'm lying in my bed again.
Body aches,
I can't escape. 
Wishing I were dead again. 
Remember the mistakes,
But it's too late.

Your world is suffocating,
a truth I can't deny.
I say that I belong here,
I know that it's a lie.
I can't keep on pretending,
cause this is killing me.
You know I'll always love you,
But baby now you're free. 
 
I used to feel so safe with you. 
But now that phase of us is through.
Where's the pleasure to match the pain?
How long'd you think think that I could play this game?

Your world is suffocating,
a truth I can't deny.
I say that I belong here,
I know that it's a lie. 
I can't keep on pretending,
cause this is killing me.
You know I'll always love you,
but baby now you're free. 


Details | Lyric | |

A Lonely Room

Screaming from shadows cast aside
The sun drifts away from where I hide
Such darkness echoes through these halls
Such painful reminders upon its walls

Walking alone I count each room
Containing the memories I now exhume
Such life I seemed to once portray
Such naivety begging to be betrayed

Dreaming beyond the steps ahead
A place I no longer dare to tread
Where weaving ghosts call out my name
Where whispering demons discuss my shame

Desperate to flee and hide once more
But numbness has struck my empty core
Such reason to no longer be
Such painful surroundings envelope me

Calmness as I traverse these stairs
Darkness ahead, but I don’t care
Ghosts welcoming me home
I slip into bed, and I’m alone


Details | Lyric | |

FOR THE LIVING

FOR THE LIVING   (ALREADY DEAD)


AS CREATIVITY WANES, MY SPIRIT, IT ALSO FADES ……

NO ROOM LEFT FOR LIVING
BUT I AM FAR TO YOUNG TO DIE
NO ENERGY LEFT FOR GIVING
BECAUSE MY RETURN ARE THE TEARS I CRY
WHISPERS ARE MY VOICE UNHEARD
FAINTER BREATHS YOU’LL NEVER BREATHE
AND THE LIFE THAT I AM LIVING
STILL WON’T ALLOW ME TO SEE

THE MEANINGS THAT ELUDE ME
ARE THE ANSWERS I SEEK TO FIND
THE DREAMS THAT DIE FOR ME EACH DAY
REMIND ME OF MY FLEETING TIME HERE
CAN’T OVERCOME THE WEATHER
HEAVY CLOUDS OBSTRUCT MY VIEW
FOLLOW MY HEART OR FOLLOW MY HEAD
NEITHER IS SURE OF WHAT TO DO ANYMORE

I LIVE MY LIFE FOR THE LIVING
FOR I AM ALREADY DEAD 
NO RETURN FOR ALL THE GIVING
IN THE END IT IS AS I SAID,
ALREADY DEAD 

…I TRY TO IMAGINE WHAT IT MUST BE LIKE TO LIVE
TRY TO REMEMBER IF I EVER REALLY DID
THE WASTED YEARS THAT GOT ME THROUGH
THE DARKEST FEARS I’VE EVER KNOWN
HAVEN’T BENEFITED ME IN ANY WAY 
AND AS MY UNSPOKEN WORDS HAVE YET TO REVEAL
I’M LIKE A BOOK THAT HAS NEVER BEEN OPENED…

SO I LIVE MY LIFE FOR THE LIVING
BECAUSE I AM ALREADY DEAD
THE LESSON I LEARNED IS THE ONE THAT I’M GIVING
BECAUSE IN THE END IT IS AS I SAID, I’M ALREADY DEAD





Details | Lyric | |

Stolen Light

Blurry dreams that can’t replace
The darkest nightmares of your face
Another dying word untold
Replaced by fear in hateful mould

The lustful way I burned my skin
Upon the alter of your sins
The gazing truth that pierced my heart
The way you smiled now torn apart

And everything you ever were
The cold pretence of loving care
A black widow beneath the sheets
My poisoned soul makes you complete

Your icy touch has broken me
Draining my vitality
All that’s left in love and hate
Are deadly dreams I can’t sedate

As I crawl through all your games
My shattered mirror shares my pain
And as I look into my mind
I see your darkness in my eyes


Details | Lyric | |

THE BOW LEGGED GIRL

      THE BOW LEGGED GIRL
I took all of your tank tops and your hose and your sox,
and I put them all together in a little brown box.
I put all of your dresses and your shoes in a sack,
and I wrapped it up because I knew you're never coming back.

I took your funky records and your Playgirl magazines
and dropped them in the trash with all your green and purple jeans.
I took the clothes I bundled up and gave them away,
to the Salvation Army, it seems like yesterday.

You never told me you were leaving town,
you never told me you were leaving.
You never told me you were leaving town,
you never told me you were leaving.

I met a wino on the street, she looks just like you,
she wears a see through blouse and she walks bow legged, too.
She sings those funky songs and plays the guitar outa sight,
and she takes a bath in cheap perfume like you did every night.

She still sings about Viet Nam and love we don't show,
guess she doesn't know that Viet Nam was 40 years ago.
She's out protesting every day and carries a sign,
 and bites her toenails ev'ry night just like you chewed on mine.

You never told me you were leaving town,
you never told me you were leaving.
You never told me you were leaving town,
you never told me you were leaving.

She has a job but all she'll say, it ain't chopping wood.
And it's funny how her money lasts, and she lives so good.
She bought a brand new car one day, a green Cadillac,
and it's got a bar up in the front and mattress in the back.

I don't know why she thinks she has to work every day,
cause I never had a job I just live on my welfare pay.
She picks her nose and rolls each bugger in a sugar ball,
and just like you used to do, then she eats them all.

You never told me you were leaving town,
you never told me you were leaving.
You never told me you were leaving town,
you never told me you were leaving.

I married her in the park, it seems like yesterday,
and I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't run away.

She brought her uncle home with her from work the other night,
and her uncle and my cousin all got drunk and had a fight.

She got locked in the bedroom with the meter readers dad,
and they had a lot of fun all night, but I felt awful bad.
He took her home with him a while, but she wouldn't stay,
I wish you'd come back home to me, and run her away.

You never told me you were leaving town,
you never told me you were leaving.
You never told me you were leaving town,
you never told me you were leaving.


Details | Lyric | |

Fairytale World Gone Wrong

She walks, she talks
Pretends everything is fine
So young, so sweet
Yet everyone she'll try to please
will turn their backs on her with ease

She wants to belong
She'll try to hold on
to her fairytale world gone wrong
She's losing her grip
Reality slips
her fairytale world gone wrong

She wants you to stay
She'll push you away
Still can't decide
Too much pain inside
She runs, she hides
as her world divides
Can't keep it together
Can't pretend forever

She wants to belong
She'll try to hold on
to her fairytale world gone wrong
She's losing her grip
Reality slips
her fairytale world gone wrong


Details | I do not know? | |

My Hidden Pain

When you smile at me i laugh at you
When you laugh at me i smile back
I try and hide the pain and agony I feel
So i left this earth and went to Mars
To live closer to the lovely stars;
You might not think it's true

You say you know me 
You act like you know me
You even talk like you do,
But that's not true

You talk about me like you know me from deep inside
You have even tried to have that denied
But sooner or later i'm gonna die
And no one will care

To you and them it doesn't matter anymore
'Cause I'll be under the soiled floor
I'll be forgotten;
Never spoke of,
I'll be hurt and killed because of love.

No one will miss me 
I'll die with no one's sympathy
They won't even ask what happened to me

Livin' alone i think i hate myself
It's like i'm on the top of a never-ending bookshelf
Feelin' as if i'm gonna fall any second now
I'm gonna die and won't remember how

I'm sayin' to the world "good-bye"
Now i'm gonna ask you this:

Can ya hear my shouts and cries 
Can ya see the tears in my eyes 
Can ya hear, can ya see, can you feel me?

Baby, please...help me
Take the pain away
So i'll never deal with it for
Another day


Details | Lyric | |

Dream

Feburary 27th 2012 i lost the most important person in my life. Helen

I was at a goodwill, when i prayed to her that i would find a metallica shirt. I was then looking through the shirts and found two metallica shirts. I got them both. i started wondering if it was her, if she answered my prayer. A few days later i had a dream. She was standing in the window yelling down at me telling me she bought me something and it was on her bed in a bag. i told her how much i missed her and i went to go see what it was. i open the bag on the bed and see the two metallica shirts i had bought at that goodwill. i now know that she answered my prayer.

Another dream i had.

I had often wondered if she considered me a grandchild.. because im not realted to her by blood. I had a dream it was at her funeral. i seen her sitting in a chair next to me. my sister and some of her grandchildren were carrying her casket to the hurse. My sister fell and dropped the casket and several of her family members were yelling at her. Helen the women who these dreams are about sat and said she loved all her grandchildren even if there not blood related.

I believe Helen answers my questions in my dreams.


Details | Lyric | |

Bones

Written February 25, 2013


She carried her bones down the old dirt road
And buried herself down in Ohio
Between the reels and the stacks of the railroad tracks
How did we know she would never turn back
Now our heads hung low we're regretting that


Details | Lyric | |

The Doomsday Song

     THE DOOMSDAY SONG
Walkin down the street, 
when outa the blue
the Devil told me something 
I'm gonna share with you
Best get your sinning in, 
if you got some sinning left to do
It's all over! We're all gonna die.
It's all over.

Walkin down the street,
When out of the blue
Your girlfriend told me something
I'm gonna share with you.
Best get your loving in
If you got some loving here to do.
It's all over! We're all gonna die.
It's all over!

Walkin down the street
When outa the blue
Sweet Jesus told me something
I'm, gonna share with you
Best get your praying in
If you got some praying left to do.
It's all over! We're all gonna die!
It's all over!
It's all over!  We're all gonna die!
© ron wilson aka vee bdosa the doylestown poet
           Hollywood Beach, FL 
yep it is a song and a very good one, the song/video Demo is on youtube, 
search veebdosa and then doomsdaysong or a link is on my facebook page
today may 8 2014 )ron wilson winter park florida(


Details | Lyric | |

Sleepless Nights

My intentions are not preventive actions, just decisions made.  Only if I had given more thoughts to right and wrong choices that has crossed me.  Maybe contemplate a better plan that could have coexisted with both side of my thought process.  My independent thinking has corrupted my better judgment.

Two faced, and the mask hasn’t changed my feelings about things.  Maybe it’s broken like how I feel about my own soul.  Torn, and I decided to walk away ending up at a cross road.  One of a broken path that I choose seems to be beaten and rough with parts of a pave surface. Left and uncared for. Cracks big enough for flowers to grow.

I have enslaved my own mind by guilt.  I felt my very heart beating out of my chest, as sleepless nights haunt my body, I’m tired.  Laying in bed staring at ceilings trying to decipher this meaning of my feelings and why have I done certain things that in my life I wouldn’t be able to change.

Life is a game and my tears cried tears just from being tired. Tired of playing life’s game.
No suicide.  Just my thoughts caught up in a web of lies I have been fighting with those with lose lips.  The spiders crawl from under the closet door abandoning their own post of bones and decomposed material.  I want to be free to leave, my feelings won’t let me and still I feel it’s not worth the time to just repair broken things when my heart decided differently.  Conflict with my spiritual self, my thoughts cant process  and it’s a long sleepless night.


Details | Lyric | |

ice inside my soul

the ice inside my soul
is making me have a cold
it is getting me alone
and all over me whole
i dont know what i am
or what you think of me
but i know this for sure
is that i am a depressed teen
life is hard
being under the stars
not finding a loved one
and working very hard
with home work down our throats
and emotions down our cheek
and people wonder why 
it is hard being a teen
well let me explain
let me show you how i think
being me isnt easy 
living with in sadness
living in grief
and living with nothing to loose
and always disappointing family   
always getting average grades
and becoming friendly
but there is a time
and a teens life
were the world falls apart
and your just there
standing by the side
wondering why 
he is crying his heart out tonight
what you dont understand
is his emotions gone again
he lost his everything
gave up his all
and all in return
is trouble and sadness 
nothing greater
then a tear rolling down my chest
being a teen is harder then you think
cause all the emotions come with you
and hurt your heart deeply


Details | Lyric | |

Witless Witness

Lets get down to business,
Imma bout to quit this as God as my witness,
Coming back from class, in one of my civics
The next tree I see, Sh*t I think ,I'm gonna hit this
But my stick shift did not shift, now i sit in ditches 
this is 600 dollars that I don't have to fix this
I guess I'd admit this, cause I'm done with sickness
Of the mind, see I've been, out of mine,
Half an hour, in the shower,
Praying some evil power,
Doesn't come through my spine,
Looking like Bill Cowher,
As I cower from the scour,
Like a clam becoming chowder,
I'm a coward devoured,
By all these damn thoughts,
That keep getting louder,
Burns like whiskey sour, 
So pale, I went from me being green,
To cauliflower.


Details | Lyric | |

Smeared Mirror

Looking dead at me 
in this smeared mirror...
a lost man tormented; 
face red, brittle and teared

less excuses 
longer I stare
stress abuses 
my conscience with a glare

a guilty reflection alerts me,
"this prison is my fear"
longing for an escape 
and answers to why I’m still here

who have I become? 
what have I done right?
crossroads appear suddenly 
as fog fills the mirror tonight

darkness owning the room,
prefers I suffer slow
so I proceed with speed 
because it’s the only way I know

tasteless stories
flood my life’s hard bound chapters 
while this smeared mirror reflects tears
dripping from a face 
which was once filled with laughter. 


Details | Lyric | |

Justified anguish

Is pain really worth suffering so much that we're willing to loose it all?
Pills, drugs, alcohol break us down till we crawl.

Tears running down my face, haunting images of the past,
existing in the presence of others as a cast.

There is no therapy for me, for what I've seen and done,
anyone else would find the answers at the end of a gun.

I dare not cheat the one's who care for me or might even love me,
it is the only things that keeps me an obligated detainee.

What am I to do? To bear this suffering and no sanity for release.

My turmoil ignored by most is my curse,
I must endure the reality though be it perverse.

Justified anguish is obvlivious for most,
my burden to bear alone, illusive as a ghost.



Details | Lyric | |

SOMETHING FOR TODAY

     SOMETHING FOR TODAY
The morning lights and to another day
a pirate's chest you've found but will not stay
for longer than the blinking of your eye
from troubled sleep to wake wherein you die.

Through every ticking second where you are
as dense and far away as any star
you sit and let your life and time run out
and have become what others talk about.

From time to time you'll always hear a clue
between each word that's meant for only you
coincidental to what you have seen
you take it in as how each word must mean.

And this will guide you through the whole day long
as certain as the hearing of Our Song
just at the proper timing of your need
and then your thought will soar, it has been freed.

You cling to it and make it what must be
the fabric of your life and prophesy
and it will carry you from here to there
into another day that goes no where.
© ron wilson aka vee bdosa the doylestown poet


Details | Lyric | |

Death Meets Love

I got trapped in the dark 
the cancer creeps closer towards my heart 
I cant stand the pain that starts

they put a needle in me 
my heart stops beating 
I cant hear my thoughts or what im feeling

everything seems cluttered 
I stand here in a daze 
but your face starts to fade

I start to loose my feeling 
my hands are numb and my toes wont budge
my brain stops working 
little flakes peel off my heart

my heart turns gray 
I cant wait to fly away
in the light I shall go 

somewhere else but my home
where pain meets pleasure and death meets love


Details | Lyric | |

Paper Heart

Love is dangerous
A single spark igniting 
A blaze throughout your
Body
A blaze that engulfs 
Your mind and turns all reason to ash
The dull embers
Dance in the delicate folds 
Which make up your paper heart 
Enveloped by this sickness-
This curse-
That feeds on you as if you
Were nothing more than kindling
The thin flakes of dust flit of your body
Reducing you to embers
Each fragment representing the passion
That is now gone
Burnt out
Leaving you cold
Awake
Afraid
And devastatingly alone


Details | Lyric | |

19Feb2011

I'll be ok soon, but just not today
Maybe tomorrow will take it all away
Take away the pain, the memories, the days

I'll be ok soon, but just not today
I might drink tonight and wash it away
I might just sit here and waste the day

My head is spinning with memories
Trying to find out where it all went wrong
What I could have done
Nothing but this song

I'll be ok soon, but just not today
Don't know what to do today...


Details | Lyric | |

Where Melancholy Mingles

I suppose
there’s always good reason
to cry
sadness never has a tough time making friends
ominously,
this dark acquaintance often approaches 
lending water for eyes
to cry

I suppose
there's never better time than now 
to moan
grunting and moaning are long lost relatives
miserably, 
feeding off each other 
dragging stragglers along for the ride
to moan 


I suppose
anxiety needs a moment in the sun 
to worry
flipping, tossing, in a cerebral ceremony
fidgety
anxiously twitching 
as everyone quickly moves
to worry

I suppose 
there's no harm in a little dishonesty
to lie
while thieves join the party
deceptively
a terrible tandem 
of dirty deeds and tendencies
to lie

I suppose
everyone has the ability  
to struggle 
with adversity, where melancholy mingles
blatantly
crying, grunting, and moaning
anxiety moves in permanently
to struggle

 
and I suppose,
there's a heavy dose of negativity 
to digest 
mixed with stress
continually
it may lead to one hell of a 
nasty mess
to ingest
 
©  2011  ~JSLambert Esquire


Details | Quatrain | |

I Guess You'll Never Know

It always starts out so lovely,
Talking all the time - 
“Can’t wait to see you,
I’m so glad you’re mine.”

But time fades the colors,
And makes the petals fall.
What once was so exciting - 
Now seems a little dull.

And I know you’ve had your drama
From people in the past.
They didn’t see what they had in you -
Well, I could’ve fixed that.

I wouldn’t hurt you like she did,
I wouldn’t push you around.
I wouldn’t take you for granted,
I guess you’ll never know now.

I just want you to know this:
My intentions were pure.
And if I’d let myself love you -
It would’ve been for who you were.

I’m learning every fairy tale 
Won’t have a happy end.
‘Cause now I’m sitting here crying,
Missing my friend.

And now we’re looking at a goodbye
Because you just cant seem to see -
Just what you could’ve had
If you’d just picked me.

I wouldn’t hurt you like she did,
I wouldn’t push you around.
I wouldn’t take you for granted,
I guess you’ll never know now.


Details | Rhyme | |

Praise God

If it's not one thing then it's another.
I'm either fighting with my dad or hearing screams from my mother.
My girlfriend doesn't trust me. I can't pay for therapy.
I can't do this all alone. I get down on my knees.
I ask the lord for forgiveness, right before I begin.
Although he is a forgiving God, how could he look upon sin?
Prayer is so simple even a child can start.
It's not all imagination, your faith must come from the heart.
It's all so real, the thrill you feel, the chill that's going through you.
You no longer fear it, the holy spirit starts showing and glowing, it's true.
Who knew that you, that tough guy? The one that wouldn't believe?
Then why are you always calling out for him when your unable to achieve?
He's always there to help us. Stand out and give it a try.
The Closer you get to God you'll see this isn't a lie.
Thank you, Jesus! Praise Jesus! Halliugha! Oh Lord!
I can never lose a battle using you as a sword!
Life here is too short, yesterday is already gone.
Knowing where you'll spend eternity will help keep you moving on.
Praise God!


Details | Lyric | |

The Death of You

Wrote this back in middle school, sitting at the piano. 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Save me I’m drowning,
Six feet below
Helplessly falling,
 Into the darkness we know

All the life begins to drain,
Wrists are painted red with shame
Die from what I’m dreaming of,
From the death of my love

Standing by your stone, 
Whispers bleed through
Standing here alone,
Thinking of you

All the life begins to drain,
Wrists are painted red with shame
Die from what I’m dreaming of,
From the death of my love

Take my life and take my hand!
Please! Just try and understand
All that I am going through,
From the death of you…



Details | Lyric | |

Here All Alone

everythings gone 
and i am alone
left to wonder
nowhere to call home

i hide in  my thoughts
to keep out the fear
like where could they be
it's been over a year

i eat and i sleep
they're gone night and day
i don't really care
i've got nothing to say

everyones gone
and i'm all alone
left to myself
my feelings arn't known

here by myself
i finally see
that the person who's gone
is realy just me


Details | Lyric | |

Please Wake from this Nighmare

Note: This is a duet...it is based off a story I'm writing with LAURA! :D
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
V1 person1 Can you hear me… Please open your eyes, look at me I wish to hear your voice again, I don’t want to see you like this…anymore Please, darling, please open your eyes… [chorus] (both) What's happened to you... Where have you gone This must all be a dream I'm stuck in a nightmare And I want it all to end What's happened to you Where have you gone Please wake from this nightmare (after first time through the chorus change 'this' to your for rest of chorus) V2(person 2) I'm sorry... Can you hear me I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you This is all my fault I'm sorry Please wake again [corus] (both) V3 (person 1) Hang in there, Don't leave me alone I need you Please don't leave me I love you (person 2 (still V3)) I'm sorry, please stay with us Please, I'm sorry (both) Don't leave us here alone... (person 1) I Love you (I'm sorry! (person 2)) [chorus] [instrumental break] V4(person 2) My dear friend Please don't leave Wake up... Wake up from your dream! (person 1) Darling, I love you please stay here, don't leave m I need you (both) Wake up from this nightmare you're trapped inside Find you're way through the maze [instrumental break again] V5 (one) What's happened to you (the other) Where have you gone (first one again) Wake up from your dream (the other) Escape this nightmare of yours... [chorus] (both) What's happened to you Where have you gone? Please come back to us...


Details | Lyric | |

Feeling My Pain

I’m feelen the pain 
and I’m hurten again
I’m somebody’s fool -here sitten on this bar stool
Tied to your chain

Bleeden like a hog
Getten drunk as a dog
I’m liven in a dream world- made up make believe world
Feeling my pain

Feeling my pain
Of loven you  again
Where I’m gona go now
How my gona stand now
while lying in  the pouren rain

Loves gone away
Pains come back to stay
I’m feelen the strain now
Hurten again now 
Feelen my pain

You’d said you’d be true
Not to make me a fool
But you slipped up again now- lied to me again now
Cause you’re the girl of my dreams

I can’t get away
You’re in my heart to stay
I’m liven in a dream world  - made up make believe world
Feeling my pain


Details | Lyric | |

Missing

Walking around the graveyard
Untaggling his hands from the pocket in his jacket
its clear in his head that he's screaming for something
that something is missing within his heart

Taking off his hat as he sits it on her grave
Pulling out a piece of paper
The death certificate that her name was signed on
a tear falling from his cheek 
he reaches down to pick up the flower he laid there before

crumples at his touch
sitting down the piece of paper
he asked her
how can i love?
when the one i want is not here?

tears fall from his eyes unto the paper 
he lights a candle
sits it by her tombstone

He lays down beside her
listening to the wind
hoping to hear her voice
something he longed for
something that he was missing

he falls asleep
holding the stem of the rose that crumpled before
The pedals fly away with the wind
and the flame of the candle burns out
the rain starts to fall

He lays with his eyes closed
He goes back in time
The rose pedals fall back unto the stem
The paper flies back into his pocket

He walks back into town
Back into the house he was at before
Back at her funeral
to the hospital they were at
When they found out she had cancer
To the church where they got married
To the time when he asked her to marry him
Finally to the place where they met

There story replays again in his mind
he lays cold on the ground beside her
The wind dies down
and the candle starts burning again


Details | Lyric | |

Son Of A Gun

I was born half human half demon
Killer of love
I was born with a gun in my hand
The Son of a gun
Satan Worshiper
A Natural Born Killer

I walk down the hallway
Hiding my gun in my trench coat
Wearing my hat backwards
My combat boots
And my army pants
Sunglasses hiding my face

I wait for you in the Library
As i approach you
You run and hide
Under a table
Me taking my gun out of my trench coat
Holding it towards your face
You cry
Your freaking out

Your last tear hits the floor
I pull the trigger
You were the guy
That made fun of me
Calling me a freak
Tripping me in the hallway

Remember throwing bloody tampons
In my face?
Calling me gay?
Telling everyone about my personal pains?
Ive got you now
You cant hurt me anymore
But i can still hurt you

Dedicated to ~4-20-99~ "Columbine Massacre"
Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold

"We can stop bullying, if we honestly tried"

"You could have prevented this school shooting, if you would have just listened to the kids who did it"






Details | Lyric | |

diary of a great depression

At my own admission I've grown black hearted, Find it hard to cry for the dearly departed. I've started with myself and made no difference...
my reflection ain't healthy I've been plagued by ignorance. An insignificance to that shown by my people offering deliverance. 
Belligerent my mind state, no room for benevolence. I'm gonna times fate by two and make my own destiny. Remember without you there is no me!! 
Contemplation on occassion as and when neccasary, no abrasions mental and or physical. Raisin like im spiritual on the mountian gazin like im quizical, I ain't doubtin I been dazin lyrical too busy blazin that's not critcal. Don't be phazin past the miracle. 
Far from superior closer to inferior goes some way to explaining why my message isn't clear to ya. Far from delirious nah man, this is serious!
Remains 2 be seen weather its imperious. Far from laughin this materialistic gapping will drive us appart and continue trappin. 
Can't be scared to talk bout it. We're conditioned in a way in which we doubt it. 
So in ya face its a disgrace. I need a bit of saving grace. Saving face be paving waste, am I misbehaving as lm gaining pace? The blames in place and its plain in taste. We can only learn if we share with eachother!
Sounds disearning coming from a non-veteran brotha, discova the soul ja in me. I ain't on the front line wouldn't want to be. What they fightin for!? Territories, minerals to fuel our principles. I'd like to appoligise for being so cynical. This is a perfect time to take an interval.


Details | Lyric | |

Lies Become Life

These are my scars
And I know they haven't gotten me far
But it's complicated
And this is who I am to be

They say everything happens for a reason
Well I have two cents worth a dime
To say nothing good about that line

This isn't really fair
I didn't ask for you to take it this way
I can't just walk away anymore
Keeping my head from that door
Your tricks don't keep it away anymore

This is how I choose it to be
It's the closest I am drowning to be free
And just leave me and let me see

Theres only one way to get it all away
I will stop at nothing and think it all off
Just play that beat and watch me hit the wall

This isn't really fair
I didn't ask for you to take it this way
I can't just walk away anymore
Keeping my head from that door
Your tricks don't keep it away anymore

I won't let you down
And hit the floor
There's apart of me thinking,
I can't do this anymore

I'm truly convinced
That telling you this lie
Will make it the truth in my life

I wont let us down
I'll keep my guard around
And watch my head hit the door
Am bound to fall down
My tears hit the floor
As I lay down
I know I ain't coming back for more

This isn't really fair
I didn't ask for you to take it this way
I can't just walk away anymore
Keeping my head from that door
Your tricks don't keep it away anymore


Details | Lyric | |

Can't Be With You

I know how you feel for me
But im too scared to take a step forward
You know i got hurt before
You dont know how painful it was
I wasnt sure i would even get over it, but i did
Now, nothing is the same
My feelings is unreliable
I know that i like you
I know that i love you
I know that i have fallen for you
And i know that i wanna be with you
But i cant
It's not that easy not wanting to be with you
Cause every moment
I think of you
I think of what your doing
I think of what your thinking
You're on my mind all the time
And sometimes you make me speechless
That cute smile you make
So many great thing i see in you
Makes me wonder if i even deserve you
Now, you're talking to me about the future
Baby i'm not even ready for the present
Tell me what to do
Cause my mind is blank
But my heart is filled with emotions


Details | Blank verse | |

Light my bridge

T. Hunt
Verse/intro: I remember you showed me that path,
When you paved the road for existence. 
 ~Showed me all the cracked doors, broken escapes, and then the darkness.
I can barely remember the look in your eyes my demise I realized “deaths” upon us.
~So show me the way to ignite this fight let destiny control us.~ Inferno on fire like human desire it burns we perspire and it forgets us. So where does this lead I can’t see I can’t breathe I can’t speak I can’t eat I can’t….think.
Chorus: ~This fire in our lives just burns and burns I’ve seen the light and now this hurts. And through the night the devil lurks so light my bridge like fireworks and catch me in the middle…..~”ALL alone”
Verse 2 I’m searching for the black door “that’s unknown remembering the times when they closed. |~Forget about the painted rose the times I let my heart get cold. This is real. ~Stuck in the middle of life helplessly buried alive. This bridge is breaking my pride so somebody turn on a light. ~The darkness is flowing inside it’s almost if I was..To dive. Running and running while blind is like walking right out of your life.

Chorus:~ This fire in our lives just burns and burns I’ve seen the light and now this hurts.
And through the night the devil lurks so light my bridge like fireworks and catch me in the middle…..~”ALL alone”
~Alone __{reapeat 4x’s}___________
The  lights turned on this bridge is long.

Side bar:P
I=speak
“=influence{pause}
Tempo at 4/4 time 
~=tempo change
All original
No copywrite nessasary.


Details | Lyric | |

Burden of Hurt

The pain runs deep into
Affliction of the moon
In nightmares lead astray
That carry on into the day

And all I can pretend
That I am on the mend
When shame and hurt reveal
It’s only courage that can heal

The pain runs deeper still
An infection that could kill
And so I hold myself away
In loneliness I pray

And all my dreams are gone
As I spiral through the wrong
Where the only thing that’s true
Was the time I spent with you

My hurt claims every depth
It wants my every breath
My hurt leaves me unknown
It leaves me all alone

Yet the darkness of this place
Will still not ever turn my face
And though the pain will steal my mind
At least my soul can never die


Details | Lyric | |

The Escapist's Plea

When you can longer run away from yourself
When you thought there were no more tears to cry
When you just want to die
Living like this consumed by the façade of a million lies
So many years, so many days
Waking up to people who no longer care you're there
You ask how can this be, one short organic vitality
Wasted with living; the slowest way to die

The shadows of shame weigh you down 
Until you drown, filled with only their hate
All you can turns grey, and all you ever loved fades
The agony is all you know, thank you pain
A self-sadist Is all you have become, j
ust how they showed you, craving so much more
Just to hide up all of the misery
But under cloth it still bleeds

This is the Escapist's Plea
For the one who fall to their knees in misery
Trying to stay sane but fall under September's rain
Dying from the invisible disease, only you can see
Stigmatized by their sadistic need
Only if I could just fly away
...Fly Away


Details | Lyric | |

Don't go away

I saw you there my being came alive
I heard your voice, it cut me like a knife.
It seemed like years but only days had passed
So long ago since I had seen you last..

You looked at me and smiled your sad, sad smile
My heart it just went crazy for a while.
I looked at you as if I did not care
But oh what joy it was to see you there.

Don’t go away, don’t ever leave again.
Because my love you cause me so much pain
Without you here my life be oh so bare
Although I see your vision everywhere.

Though you don’t love me I must know you’re there
I need to see your beauty soft and rare
And every day that you’re not there to see
It seems like something dies so deep within me.

My love for you be such a crazy thing
When you’re nearby my heart can only sing
But when you’re gone my being starts to fade
For you be all my heart would ever crave.


1990.


Details | Blank verse | |

Theres no rhythm in this song

There’s no rhythm in this song
Because you are not with me!

God has come closer to me
Because you are far away!
My nights seem longer than usual
And all my days seem monotonous!

Poetry seems like a trash 
Because you are far away!
Now I don’t see the red morning sun
And oh I go to bed late at night!

Now love songs only hurt me
Because you are far away!
Now I hardly take care of myself
And I seldom care what others think!


Details | Lyric | |

Suicide

Suicidal thoughts in my head telling me to come to my new bed. i see a coffin before my eyes calling whispering in my ear. "Child come closer you have nothing to fear." Suicide creeps up on me late at night while I'm sitting and planning on how to take my life. No one will miss me I'm such a fool I broke the most important rule. Suicide says never fall in love never shed a tear, man will think you weak and use it dear. Suicide I believe you're right I've loved and in turn lost the fight. Suicide whispers silent in the night" Come my child release the chain from life." I begin to walk to the edge I stop and think I'm dead! I can turn back if I choose i live if I really want too! Suicide is afraid I've changed my mind so he runs, ducks, and hides. In the end God has shown me the light. Suicide is another chapters closed in my life.


Details | Lyric | |

Halloween's Song

Its your Halloween rave, having your mascaraed
With all your best friends from back in the day
Liz Lauren and Blake and while they're dressed like skanks
I'm on the front line of battle
Howlin like jackle with A real nasty cackle
puttin a razor blade in the sack of Blake's apples
crack in Lauren's snapple
Staddle Liz like mclovin
But I am more like faghole As I babble at her ass
Axe her fast and mash her up like cattle
Sneak back and tackle your dad and put him in shackles
Shove sour patch kids Down your trap and gaggle
Its abominable, so unbelievable
But its inevitable, the end is kissable
I have rattled these kids psyches 
squirming like a centipede, cutting them like celery 
hear their squeamish screams echo in the streets
as the  creepy bells of the chapel ring


I remain a mystery
You'll need nancy drew, and at least 3 of the hardee boys to find what I'm up to
Theres this gloom that looms down in your basement room
Consuming shrooms, enhaling fumes to escape your doom
Witches zoomin by on their brooms makin sonic booms
Quick call scooby doo, but I killed him too
You heard a loud pound cause I cut the fuse so you
Run away to a motel room, assuming your safe
And As you look the other way,
I got my fangs in your veins and stranglin your neck
Too bad you didn't text your friends to tell them who is next
Hmm let me think for a sec. As Hex your boy  rex 
with an incessant twitch, till he is dead in a ditch
Hang him from bunny man bridge
Yo dude turn the lights on
But there's no flip to switch , I have flipped the script
Its bewitched with no miss to kiss
Exorcist with no priest to dismiss the spirit

So the town clock strikes half past 3
There's one last gas before i must sleep
Or i will crash fast if the light touches me
Put on the mask jack, just like the sixth scream 
I need to grasp havoc, till i hear shrills and shrieks
Please back rabbit, these chills aint for teens
As I stick a cherry bomb in your moms exhaust pipe
Run up on you  with nine a knife, and the head of your wife
Its useless I'm the nuisance that's abusive yet conducive
To your fear that I am near So close I could whisper in your ear
Smell the shampoo in your hair Wipe the floor with your tears
And as you look up in the mirror
I'm there ready to smear your blood all over the chair
as I stab you with my spear I crush a coors beer then
Leave you re crops there dead, red spread on the floor
But I hear a knock on the door
Are you okay honey? "Yes mommy,  just got a cold sore"


Details | Lyric | |

Old Friend

OLD FRIEND

Familiar friend, your simmering glow
I welcome you whole and heartedly know
When day is night and ebb is flow
I trust in you, our love will grow

When dawn is dusk, then sun is moon
Your welcome face, the dullness soon
Neither red nor blue, no rays of light
Just shades of gray my dreams tonight

No princess to rescue
No tales of lore
Just spiraling down
And spiraling more

No faces or places or loves I’ve known
I dream of nothing and nothing alone

Together we cry, forever we moan
The pain my companion, together we’ve grown
Morning looms my bliss shall end
I’ll miss my companion; I’ll miss my old friend


Details | Lyric | |

The prisoner's lamentation

Crime is fun, was what we
thought.
But, that was then; days not
caught.
For now it burns!
Cos it’s now, in court.
We are behind bars,
For the fruit of our own bad.
Left to suffer,
By just one order.
One day here,
 Is a day off care.
 Running here and there,
 With a great fear!
Living on little hope.
 For who cares you are hot or 
cold.
 Hard work and expect no pay.
 And no time for our jack to play.
Only little bothers,
 On our affairs matters.
 But many wonders.
 Why we choose the bad 
quarters!
 Our ungodly life,
 Started from telling lies.
 Selfish interest.
 Was our ruling vice.
As democracy,
Belongs to the outer world.
 Autocracy,
 Rules our own mini world.
If I had known, of this stay,
 Or told, I would be here today,
 I would have repented without
delay,
 Even though, I’m to live on 
decay!
The day I’m free from here.
 Whom can I approach among 
my
peers!
 Since my news has been on air.
 And lovers are ashamed, crying
out tears.
I’m but a Warner.
 To those who are Robbers.
 Or, are you happy being a
Murderer?
Repent now, and never go 
further!


Details | Ballad | |

Discovery

Mr Wise Man, show me the way
I can't keep walking into walls all day

Quitting jobs wasn't easy but the reasons we're wrong
I felt like I was feeding King Kong
Left my life to help those that need it
Got mistreated, left, all to repeat it

The lessons are eternal they won't ever change,
That's your gift to me so that I won't be deranged.
So now that I have gotten better please give me my strength
My life is something that is losing it's length.

Mr Wise Man, show me the way
I can't keep walking into walls all day

Tolerance has always been my strongest feature,
Made me forget about every evil creature.
Test my limits all you want, I know it's vital
That is all a case of survival.

I don't know why I just keep trying
In the end I know I'll be dying.
My faith has been put to test
A test that will put me to rest

All the worlds I've been to
All the places I've gone through
Every single man woman and child
Every single one would make another mild

Stronger than the rest
This should make me the best
Or maybe it's best I don't know
Maybe it's best I just go

So Mr Wise Man, don't show me the way
I can't keep walking into walls all day

I'll walk my own path


Details | Lyric | |

Falling To Pieces

Falling to Pieces…

A little more cliché just to make it through the day
Because there are no new ways to say the things I feel
I believe this is an ending 
But I have yet to see the new beginning
Or am I even faintly aware
Of whether one will start as the other finishes
No how or why, no when or where
But I believe an end is coming
Because I am falling to pieces…
The crack in the mirror
Reflects an image of me, to myself as I’m
Falling to pieces…

Hard to find the time to sort out in my mind
All of the wrongs now right and all of the rights now wrong
No doubt we are at a crossroad
And for now just plain standing still
The calm before the storm
And the weather can’t seem decide if it wants to change
No how or why, no when or where
But I do believe an end is near
Much nearer than the new beginning
And I am falling to pieces…
The crack in the mirror reflects the image I see
And it is me, as I’m falling to pieces…


Details | Lyric | |

Last Laugh

I'll sit here in silence, light up my cigarette. With each burning drag I'll pretend to forget. 
   All the hurt and the pain that I'm feeling inside. And each shot I drink, brings a false sense of pride. 

   I'm a monster a bad ass, that no one's seen yet. I've lived a good life and I have no regrets. 
   But in this broken state of mine, in the worlds eyes I'm a mess. So I try to tell myself, that my last laugh will be best. 

And you think. You have me figured out. And you believe. You're right without a doubt. 

But last time I checked, we've got nothing to prove. Everything we gain in life, we all stand to lose. 
So have your fun enjoy yourself, pointing out my flaws. Your hypocritical ways, are the root of my cause. 

I'm a monster a bad ass, that no one's seen yet. I've lived a good life but I have my regrets. 
And in this broken state of mine, in my friends eyes I'm a mess. But still I remind myself, my last laugh will be best. 

And you think. You have me figured out. And you believe. I'm only filled with doubt. 
And you think. I've simply given up. But I believe. I've simply lost my trust. I've simply lost my trust. I've simply lost my trust. 

So I'll sit here in silence, put out my cigarette. The taste and the smell will, linger on my breath. 
A few more shots down, and I still have no pride. You've woken up my demons, I have nothing to hide. 

I'm a monster a bad ass, that no one's seen yet. I've lived a good life but I'm filled with regret. And in this broken state of mine, in my own eyes I'm a mess.  So I try to lie to myself, my last laugh will be best. 

And you think. You have me figured out. And I'll admit. I'm filled with to much doubt. 
And you believe. I'm just caught in a rut. But I believe. I've simply given up. I've simply given up. I've simply given up!




Details | Lyric | |

A THOUGHT THAT BAFFLES A SOUL

What if I die, would I be a bother?
If I drawn, would love come to me from another?
Thin as air, I float among “others”
All of my past, my sadness, my hopes, my dreams, my lovers…
Vanish! Lost! To the edge of unknown…
Solitude, a heartbeat away…
For only me, my thoughts, there we lay
A sight, a movement…invisible to the “others”
Who are the “others”?
Fathoms of my past imagination?
 Specimens of my own creation?
Now I sit here, and write..
Awaiting salvation
A reincarnation of myself, if you will!!
For my time here is done
My journey is complete…
Away! Away! I go
Where?, I am yet to know?
A lifetime I waste on useless beliefs
That peace lies within the heart of many
Or, those fiendish deeds do not in fact transpire by any
No sweet thought to hold on too
Life: every inspiration you made 
Every motivation you crafted,
And every moral you imparted
was all a sham, and I was its sad sad target
You taught me once not to measure life by the yard
Or to whimper when the days gone hard

But now I must question!
I question at this time if the sky is really blue
Or if cars really run on fuel…
A Baffled soul is what I am
So away! Away! I go
Where? I am yet to know…


                                                             ~M.M.M


Details | Lyric | |

Blood-Drenched Paper

Wordless and pitiful, this fool can’t deny
The emptiness hollowed out deep in my mind
Nothing will redeem these broken thoughts
And nothingness is all I have, I’m so damn lost

I can’t remember how to sleep anymore
I can not recall the taste of oxygen or law
Only the blood that was spilled from my mouth
As I choked upon the words that threw me down

How am I still living without my heart?
How is it that I can stand when I fell apart?
Truth is that I am gone, deep in the dirt
A place where I can not think; where I’m safe from hurt

I can’t recall a way to speak anything
That does not remind me of every single thing
The dry blood across my skin will not be washed away
And whatever else I try to hide has stained all I say

Collapsing into a mess upon the kitchen floor
Fearing to even walk out of my bedroom door
The sun burns away every place I can cry
And the moon delivers another thousand lies

How can I ever hope to breathe and sleep again
When every single breath I take turns dreams into pain?
The stains of blood are punishment for all that I said
And nothingness has carved your face deep within my head

Wordless and pitiful, the things I will write
The deepening eternity of every lonely night
The broken thoughts accompany a song that always plays
I’ve lost you forever, but this music will remain


Details | Lyric | |

Sorhleod

It was the myriad relapse The shadows perched, time slipped, the temptation resided to my mind I'm sure I have most the soul I never once had Lost; once you go into the dark eternal black there's no hope of dreaming of atoning back Small child I cling to you trying to savor the innocence When I could believe in everything again I tried All along to search for the truth But " the truth" is something that the truth eradicated I want to be ignorant again Can't face reality again Cease the pain that the pills can't heal Evaporate the blood that negates the strife Let me believe in everything again Break the fear Remove the pins of reality And I still wonder why And I still wonder why "forgive" makes me cry I can't make it stopThe razor beckons my name The scars and all their Shame... Find a way to pierce my serpent heart Through the iron membrane it's bleeding, I know When I have no cigarettes to burn When I have no more knowledge to Learn When I have no more xanax To cause concern I've dried out My heart is loosing it's touch There's no way out The abuse and abyss has sealed me Cease the pain that the pills can't heal Evaporate the blood that negates the strife Let me believe in everything again Break the fearRemove the pins of reality And I still wonder why And I still wonder why "forgive"makes me cry I've dried out My heart is loosing it's touch There's no way out The abuse and abyss has sealed me I've dried out tMy heart is loosing it's touch There's no way out The abuse and abyss has sealed me


Details | Lyric | |

Drum Beat

Boom boom tap.
Boom boom tap.
Boom boom tap.
Holy. Freaking. Crap.

Here come the snare drums,
With the bass drums,
And the cymbals,
The band follows.

I have a secret.
Everyone knows it.
And I don't know about,
If I can contain this shout.

And I don't know,
If I can take it anymore.

I got that drum beat.
Not just in my feet,
But in my heart.
But it's just too hard.
This girl's got her drum beat.
She can take the heat.
But when it comes to love,
She's... Down to drugs.
But not those kind where,
You can feel fear.
It's already there.

Tap tap tap.
Boom-de-tap-tap.
The marching band's coming.
You better start moving.

They don't stop.
All of them just stomp- stomp- stooooomp.


I got that drum beat.
Not just in my feet,
But in my heart.
But it's just too hard.
This girl's got her drum beat.
She can take the heat.
But when it comes to love,
She's... Down to drugs.
But not those kind where,
You can feel fear.
It's already there.

This song probably makes,
No sense.
But there's really no,
Deep meaning.

These are the facts...
Literally everyone goes,
Crap, crap, crap.

I got that drum beat.
Not just in my feet,
But in my heart.
But it's just too hard.
This girl's got her drum beat.
She can take the heat.
But when it comes to love,
She's... Down to drugs.
But not those kind where,
You can feel fear.
It's already there.

Zoom zoom zoom.
Zoom te zoom zoom.
My heart goes boom boom.
But you just see it through.
Like it's a clear,
Drum beat.


Details | Lyric | |

Lack of Life

Numbness, a quality I purge
Just to acquire the truest hurt
The weight of nothing to believe
Is nothing beside this failing need

This conflict summons up my past
Again I will fade, and simply laugh
This madness more a pointless game
The more I insist upon my pain

At least I feel my own end near
At least I exist for hatred’s fear
To wake up finding I’m unknown
Finding this child will die alone

Numbness again, I beg and pray
To awake in the future, to a better day
Where all I was could turn to light
Shine in the pain of the darkest night

But all I am is made of loss
My will is reborn to repay the cost
And back to numbness I will drift
Repent then awake, and again to this


Details | Lyric | |

Shining Sun

new song/poem! :) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I look outside my window Watch the rain fall down like tears Hoping that someday It’ll wash away my fears But they never clear They never go away And they haunt me every single minute Of every single day Maybe someday This will all just turn to dust I’ll just do what I need— Just do what I must… Without you Without you Here Find it in your heart To have a little care Find it in your heart To know that I am there Find it in your heart I know you think I’m strange But find it in your heart To believe that I can change With you With you Here I write this down in sadness Wishing you can see Knowing that none of it Makes sense to you or me And there’s nothing here There’s nothing I can say To make the clouds depart And the icky mood to fade I hope that someday When I am old and gray I’ll just laugh a sigh and wonder: What the hell was wrong with me? Find it in your heart To see me through the pane Find it in your heart To unchain me from this chain Find me in your heart I know that I am young But find it in your heart To make me someone Forever— And ever Your shining sun


Details | Lyric | |

Depression

Multi-leveled beauty
Of motion and of mind
Unbridled, raw emotion –
The music and the rhyme.

A haunting melody
And harmony belong
Within the lonely rhythm
And sorrow of my song.


Details | Lyric | |

FIND ME A PLACE

Find me a place
Yee from the palace
Find me a place
Fith glittering solace
My feet are swollen
My lips are broken
My hair ha withered
Find me place 
I lay my soul
Find me a place
Yee from the palace.


Details | Rhyme | |

Ave Versus Christi

For now I ride out of darkness To your screaming calls To fight back your endless fears To throw them to their fall For I shall ride to you in white With a crown upon my head Riding of a horse of white For this is what is said! Ave! Ave! Versus Christi! Versus Christi! Excellsis! Ave! For they hurt you, killed you, burned you. For you were not ever them They came to bring the new good news For now this is their end! Ave! Ave! Versus Christi! Versus Christi! Excellsis! Ave! For the ancient wonders built Destroyed due to their cross Men, Women, Children felt The coldness of their loss For the cross with christians coming forth with swords and hatred raging killed children, women, men a'many The reign of Cross now ending! Ave! Ave! Versus Christi! Versus Christi! Excellsis! Ave! Rise up ye old and weary souls! Let the bells now ring! The Gods have arived at last! Oh hear the trumpets sing! Faries from the lakes and rivers Nymphs from oceans deep Angels from the other world Join us in their defiet! Ave! Ave! Versus Christi! Versus Christi! Excellsis! Ave!


Details | Lyric | |

Holding On

He always had such a loving smile
When he tucked me in at night
Outside playing games 
We had a ball
He seemed like the perfect dad
Yet at least once a day that warmth would leave him
And when it did I knew 
It was time to head to that secret room
Strip off my clothes 
And do all I could to arouse his manhood
While inside I was barely 

Holding On

I was the kid who everyone thought 
Was oh so happy
I fooled so many 
When I pasted that smile on
If they only knew 
The thoughts that were going through my head
I had to wear long sleeves 
And jeans even in the summer
To hide the scars
Of suicide attempts gone sour
Yet I kept plotting 
The time, the place the way 
It must not have been my time 
Because here I still am today
I just know that if anyone had known 
They would have been shocked
Because how many children 
Would even have the knowledge
Or even understand 
What it is to die 
By their own hand 
Especially as young as eight years old
I was the child 
Who despite all my smiles 
Was barely 

Holding On

To this day 
I still hear people say
What a wonderful man he was
Like a saint some say
And I wonder for a second 
What they would have to say if they
Only knew 
The monster he hid inside 
Then I check myself
And I remember that I can’t say a word
I have to protect the family name
For the generations to come
So in this poem 
Is the only place I can be heard 
And as hard as it is 
It is what I have 
And I just have to try to keep

Holding On

What do you do?
When the world is so blue 
You’re afraid to say much
So you don’t say a thing
Then it all festers up
And you feel all these emotions 
Boiling over 
Yet I know that I have to keep

Holding On

I can’t bring myself to hate him
I can’t even bring myself to blame him
I want so bad to keep holding on 
To the images I always had 
Before the memories came flooding in
They are all so overwhelming
I feel so out of control
I want to curl up in a corner and hide 
But then the monster inside of him
Would win 
So I try to keep 

Holding On

Even though I feel like I am losing my grip
I look in the mirror 
And I don’t even recognize the person I see
Because what is staring back at me is
A big blob of fat and filth
Where is this wonderful person everyone else 
Tells me that they see 
Strong and beautiful
I definitely don’t see 
I know I am not blind 
Because whoever she is 
She can’t be me
&
While I am really slipping 
Tired and worn out 
I am not sure I am ready to give up 
So I just hope
I can find a light 
A reason to keep

Holding On


Details | Lyric | |

Destined To Fail

I hate myself, I really truly do
Oh my friend! trust me it is true
For I'm the worst person alive
I no longer want to survive
No matter how hard I try
I always fall, I don't know why
Maybe I have disease and I'm sick
Or I'm just a screwed up prick
I really want someone to explain
Why is it that I feel so much pain?
Why can't I ever stand tall?
Continuously tripping, fall after fall
I'm limited to my painful prison
I struggle with my blurry vision
When and will I ever recover?
Or to this misery, there is no other?
No matter how many times I fly
I always fall on my back and die
Dying inside day after day
Fate, something I can't dismay
I wonder, how will I ever prevail
When I'm eternally destined to fail


Details | Verse | |

Beyond What's Seen

You do not know what I see
I see you crying next to me
I see your pain, I see your tears
Through your laughs, and through the years
Past your mask I see your face
You are hiding in this place
Trust in me, I won't let you fall
You don't have to hide at all

Open up what's in your heart
That is the place I will start
Open up your eyes and see
All that's left is you and me
In the end you'll see the light
Come on, I don't want to fight
Together we will make it through
Come on. Now, It's me and you

Now you can start to feel
How much this love is true and real 
behind your eyes you keep your pain
It's all locked up in your brain
Come on. Now, just let it out
It's okay to scream and shout
I will help you through and through
I will always be with you


Details | Lyric | |

The Road Of Casualty

I fall into unknown reasons
I lay wanting,needing
Convolution,soul sucked dry
Aphasia,alone within
A battered shell,augmental decay
Life slowly passes away
Debilitated to my dismay
An accidental tragedy has
lost the lives of many
Contumaciosly
The musk from last nights indulgence
still lingers and it accuses me
I have debased the family tree
Through my lost cognizance
The pain others must breath
Censoring all relations
A dissaproval of my being
The air as thick as sulpher
A cyanosis of the soul
I'm left alive to face it all
Retribution paid in full!!!


Details | Lyric | |

Away

All you feel is pain,
Self-destruction and sorrow.
Please make it go away,
How do we survive and see tomorrow?
It's hard to stay upbeat,
everyone tries to compete.
I know that I am strong,
But there's somethin inside, that feels a bit wrong.
I cant explain these emotions and thoughts,
I need to know, with myself, what is going on..
All you feel is pain,
Self-destruction and sorrow.
Please make it go away,
How do we survive and see tomorrow?
Trust has come and gone so easily,
And people have taken advantage of me,
and my Hospitality, oh.... please...
Take them, away.. from.. me.
All you feel is pain,
Self-destruction and sorrow.
Please make it go away,
How do we survive and see tomorrow?
All you feel is pain,
Self-destruction and sorrow.
Please, make it... go..... Away...


Details | Lyric | |

The Rose

You confessed your love for me through a single white rose I smiled genuinely, yet then you turned to hurt me, leaving me behind...lost and alone The rose was nothing but poison to my heart, for 'twas you the evildoer, pressing my finger into its very thorn As the blood inside of me ran cold, deep red drops from the cursed stem silently fell into the snow. I couldn't believe that your intentions were as such, I thought you once promised that you would forever love me... Why risk betraying all of my trust? I cannot see the angel I once glimpsed in your beautiful face... It is now replaced by a mysterious raven, forever intending to be my disgrace My like will remember that winter of December, when you gave me that simple white rose now stained red will fade to black My tears fall and the love I will soon take back as I return the very rose into your cold hand, pale and scarred Your body frozen, so cold and numb as you lie abandoned, mutilating my heart, throwing it in the blood-trickled snow I think of the end of life, holding but one white rose No pain shall I feel, so perfect, so innocent, no horror in my mind, no nightmares now It is time to whisper the final goodbye I have been given the strength, I can now peacefully bid thee farewell Do not forget me I look down at the soft white petals and embrace the only token I have left of you, my little rose so beautiful and pure Forever stained by the blood of my soul is this single white rose The rose of my one true love...


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 1-

My eyes
Pour forth feelings
That I’ve felt in the past
They make my heart ache…
Take it all away…
Oh my God…
They’re making me sink in dismay

When will they break away?
When will they give me a break?

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me weeping?
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

Eye don’t see
A happy ending in this scene 

My eyes
Journeys into the unknown
Who knows what will happen…
They’re like hidden treasure…
They’re buried far below…

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s weeping…
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near? 

Oh my God…
They’re driving me insane
When will they see my reflection?
When will they heal the infection?

Eye don’t feel
Raindrops of hope and relief 
All I feel…is grief…
Eye sense no peace…

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s sagging…from endless mourning  
And I’m close to my demise… 
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

Does He hear
My supplications?
Does He sense 
My fear?

My eyes
Conceals the tears that dare to spew out
I feel trapped and lost without a doubt…
They erase my delight…
They seek my hurt…
Oh my God…
They’re casting me away into the perilous sea

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s weeping…
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace throw out my fear?

Eye don’t see
A ship in sight…to save me from my demise
My lifeless body...
Drifts away in the wild ocean...
Without a sound...
Without emotion...

Eye don’t see
A rope to hold on to…
My hope for peace
Has drowned…


Details | Lyric | |

pain inflicted beauty

Does it ever cause you pain?
To know you broke my heart,
Does it ever cause you pain?
To know you pulled it apart.

I could jump off a building,
And soar towards the ground.
To know you wouldn't miss me,
If my identity was found.

Did it


Details | Lyric | |

Amazing Grace Wash Over Me

A prayer for those who are in dispair along the Gulf Coast due to the BP Deepwater Horizon 
oil rig explosion. A prayer for those who waited and their loved ones did not return, Amazing 
Grace Wash Over Thee.



Amazing grace wash over me.
My tears are a river to the sea.
Lord above, we know you know,
the oil that is washing upon our coast.
Amazing grace wash over me,
and lift my soul up to Thee.
Lord above, hear my prayer,
for those who are in dispair.
Amazing grace wash over me.
I lift my hands to God you see.
My prayer for those who were hurt,
and those who will never return to earth.
Amazing grace wash over thee,
families were left in disbelief.
Empty hands, their loved ones gone,
Lord Jesus, guide them safely Home.
Amazing grace wash over me, 
the oil is filling up the sea, 
from Louisiana to Mississippi.
Animals are dying,
and people are crying.
Amazing grace wash over me.





Details | Lyric | |

Numb

Written March 7, 2013


She's gone
And she ain't coming back
She turned around on me
And walked away just like that
She's not here no more
And I can't wrap my mind around it
My thoughts they have retreated
To the back of mind
It's so miserable
Just to think about it

This used to be the house
On seven-thirty-one Sycamore street
Where we could have lived out the rest of our days
So happy free loving and easy
But now you're gone and I'm all alone
With nothing but my pillow ya see
Why don't you come back home now
And break these chains a-holding me

Has it been three long years now
Or just felt like it to me
These past three months have felt so long
I don't think I can keep on
Living in this misery
Why don't you come and comfort me
To save me from myself
Oh how tragic I've become
Losing you has made me numb


Details | Lyric | |

Remember

Remember when...

you were allowed to say what. Was on your mind?
When we were able to think of something better for ourselves?
When you could turn to a friend for help?
Do you remember when the world was cleaner?

Remember...

when you fell out of the second floor and broke your arm?
When your parents weren't around to tell you they care and love you?
How you were perfect to them?
Like how you were able to call yourself clean, smart, and honest?

Feels like forever huh?
Since you were able to talk to yourself without people thinking your crazy

Do you remember?


Details | Lyric | |

A Night of Change

You shoved me down,
I couldn't make a sound.
Irrevocably changed my life,
when to my throat, you held a knife.
Harsh words in my ear,
about to pass out from fear.
My breath flying in and out,
not even enough air to shout.
I never thought it could be like this,
"You're gonna love this" you hiss.
I close my eyes,
part of me dies.
All around are flashing lights,
just a prelude to the sleepless nights.
Why can't they see?
Don't they know they're too late to save me?
Sympathetic looks, fake smiles,
painful questions that go on for miles.
Sayin' "It'll be over soon" like it's something they're tryin' to sell,
Yeah right, I already know it's gonna be hell.


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 2-

My eyes
Refuse to see tragedy
My eyes
Marinate in dread…unable to embrace ecstasy 

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s sagging…from endless mourning  
And I’m close to my demise… 
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

You don’t see 
What damage you’ve done
Just let me be
Leave me alone…hand me a gun

I yearn for unspoiled glory
To make me feel perfect once more
I yearn for flawless serenity
To make me feel no regret…don’t ignore
My calls…don’t hang up on me

You don’t see 
What damage you’ve done
Just hear my plea
Listen to my excruciating cries…
Listen to the truth, not the malicious lies  
Our journey has just begun   

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me weeping?
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

Eye can’t handle the stress
Let me release my horrendous distress
Eye can see you making that same mistake
At least MY life isn’t at stake

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s weeping…do You feel my lament
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…Stepped on like cement
I’m aching with discontent… I abhor this torment    
When will peace scrub off my fear?

I can’t believe my eyes
Your guiltiness flows into me…
I can’t believe I fell for your lies
Your heartless action rape my mind…you don’t see
What my EYES see…

You’ll never see 
How much pressure you put me under
Unchain me from this chamber
And watch me flee…

When will you be set free?


Details | Lyric | |

Always Away

He pushes me away

Every day

I can't stand

when he's not holding my hand

But he pushes me down

I cry with a frown

And as i run away

I can't stop to say

That i was in love

It must've been a mistake, i can't love

Not when he treats me this way

Oh he's pushing me away

And yet he took my breath away

When I saw him walk in today

Through my stomach was tight

I almost could pretend I was alright

But he took off without saying a word

As I stood there feeling so awkward, so absurd

He texts me his apology

Nice to know just what he thinks of me

That he can tell his phone much later

But it just makes the pain much greater

Cause though I've not shed a single tear

I feel like I've cried for many a year

He's supposed to be

My fantasy

The one to hold 

when life gets old

Someone I can cry to, and let him cry to me

But nothing in my life plays out quite happily


Details | Lyric | |

A Smile to Hide the Pain

A part from my Journal

when i sit at my home with my family
i see they all look the same they act the same
dress the same and think the same 
soon theyll discover that i dont belong

they want me to be plastic like them
but i cant i wont let them take me
my poems have been about depression
heartache and pain ever since i started 
it dont seem to heal the wound
the scars i carry and the pain that bleeds from my soul

i cant really pour out my feelings for you
its hard for you to understand
no one knows me because i wont let them in
i wont let them see the truth behind the person 
that they imagine me to be

the smile everyone wears on a sunday morning is only
a wall they put up to hide there pain
so i tuck it all away and act like im okay
so everyone will see me the way that i see them

Shayla Dendinger


Details | Lyric | |

How The Gods Kill

The sharpness of the blade
The toughness of my skin
The color of the blood that drips unto the pavement
The rush of pain i get

The calmness of holding it in my hands
The smell of the bullet reaching my mouth
The memories in my brain decease

Would you let everything go?
Just to feel alive again?

Can you end this moment of your life?
Show me how the gods kill

If you got no fear
Do you know the name of the one you saved?
If you want the answers
Go find the truth

Look inside your headless soul
There you will find the noose

Would you let everything go?
Just to feel alive again?

Can you show me how the gods kill?


Details | Lyric | |

Chancy thinks its soo fancy

Is it you ? is it me?
Stuck in a world of a fantasy 
Heart beats, unceasingly 
Is this what they call ecstasy?
 Some say “the heart wants ,what the heart wants”
Yet the fire is oh! So enticing! Tranquilizing!
I adore it! I fear it!
Chancy foot stands transfixed in front
The petrified foot it taunts 
As it takes one step back, 
Chancy stands there and laughs
Torn between the two…my heart weeps
What path to take? My heart! Guidance it seeks
The fear of falling
Holds me back
The want for love
Pushes me back
The shackles of scary bounds me tight
Chancy is there, never to give up with out a fight

 Arising a hurricane is what they doo
My poor feeble heart, knows not what to do
The heart is pure. It seeks it strives to find who proves to be true
The ultimate winner..is still unknown
For here my heart still stand in the sea of unknown
Cupid I beg you do guide me
And dare not strike me and leave me
With your arrows of blind love
Guidance is what I need 
Give me that and I shall heed
Leave me not in the dark of misery
Leave me not in the sea of mystery
But guide me to that ever shinning light
Scary or chancy
With what do I side?
Shall forever remain a secrecy….



                                                                ~M.M.M


Details | Lyric | |

An Unmet Expectation

“Expectation is the root of  all heartache”
Those fine words that were once read
Now every vital syllable is felt
Before them I was misled
With false yearning I was fed
I voluntarily injected myself with anticipation and adoration 
And sadly I failed to infuse you with the same potion
All this lead to an empty commotion 
An inner hidden turmoil of some sort
And like a shattered plate my heart fell to the ground
Living in a mirage of high expectancy and wishful thinking
Yet this hope has been misplaced
It took an epiphany to shatter my nerves and alert my senses 
That Fraud of an appeal was the stem to my heartache 
A moment of awareness mixed with the residue of regret
Denial the first step of any anguish
Molding my image of you that you have now tarnished 
Looking for some sort of justification
Like a patriot for his fallen nation
Denial Denial Denial
It rings and sings in my ear
Like a gong struck with intensity
It rang and vibrated through my ear majestically
Now my mind to you it fakes a false conspiracy 
To justify such actions I can stay hours pondering upon
Yet one day the truth will hit me
So tonight I choose to rid myself of it all
Before I crumble and fall
Tonight I rid myself of it and u…
I rid myself of it all…


Details | Lyric | |

My Savior

Savior of mine
I call out to you
Save me from myself
and all I believe that is true.
For my heart is aching inside
and I know not what to do.

Take me by the hand
Guide me to a far away land.
Allow me to escape myself once and for all.

I know not what my future brings
I know not where this path leads
However I do know,
that my heart bleeds 

Savior of mine
Stop this aching pain
Free my soul
from its evil reign.

For life without you,
is lived only in vain.

Savior of mine
I give myself to you
Broken and scared
For this is all that I can do.

For with you
nothing of myself
will remain
From this point on
I can only gain.

Thank you for saving me
This unworthy soul is now set free.


Details | Lyric | |

Numb

If only u saw what I could see
Then you could understand how ugly I really am
You would get why im not so beautiful

Once upon a time
I was alive
Breathing and feeling

Emit a nopu echo
Evila saw I
Gnileef dna. gnihtaerb

I saw the beast
Love didn't exist anymore
I believe that a girl can be a god
And a man can be the devil

Tsaeb eht. was I
eromyna tsixe tndid evol.
Dog a en nac lrig a taht. Eveileb.
Lived. Eht. Eb nac Nam a dna.

Words can be so expensive
They sometimes cost you your own life
Thoughts can make a fortune
If you just knew how to express them

Evisnepxe os eb nac sdrow 
Efil nwo ruoy uoy tsoc semitemos. Yeht
Enutrof. A ekam nac sthgouht
Meth sserpxe ot woh wenk tsuj uoy fi

There are clues in here do you think you can figure them out? 
There in the backwards sentances. Have fun and comment











Details | Lyric | |

Lonely Travels

Frail and weary of this walk
Turning around just asks for more
The burning truth that holds me near
The mirror is screaming into my ear

A nightmare waking to this place
Expressions of horror upon my face
Hidden to save me from the scars
Of seeing my hurt deliver harm

My eyes adjusted to foresee
A broken existence beyond the trees
The love that made this world a dream
Turned into loss as my mirror screamed

All passion spent on seeking loss
To forget what I’ve seen, at every cost
All silence victimized by sight
The loneliest visions to twist my mind

And all the reasons I exist
Slipping away, in to the mist
And all the love I can not spend
Holding me close, in an empty bed

Frail, weary, broken still
Awareness and knowledge will not refill
This heart that chaos can’t repair
As I journey alone throughout despair


Details | Lyric | |

Rough is an Understatement

I knew you hated it then
When I said I wanted more than friends.
And when I spoke to you my heart
You disregarded it from the start.
But when I spoke those words to you,
You didn't know just what to do.
You took them in with such disdain  
And that caused me so much pain.
It was only you that I wanted to please
And that made it so much harder on me.
 
I tried so hard to pull away
To find someone to take my mind away.
I searched so desperately
Still knowing where my heart would be.
I tried my best to sever tries
To tell myself I wasn't the guy.
Oh it was rough for awhile,
Yeah things went numb after awhile.
Until I found myself right back to you.
 
Since then I've jumped so many hoops
And you've cut some ties loose.
Even though you still hold the strings
Along with so many other things
Like pictures of time that you onced cherished,
I can't let my love perish.
While I hope these memories will fade
The emotions will remain,
Murdering my dreams and leaving me with the stains
Until I found myself right back with you. 
 
I tried so hard to pull away
To find someone to take my mind away.
I searched so desperately 
Still knowing where my heart would be.
I tried my best to sever tries
To tell myself I wasn't the guy.
Oh it was rough for awhile,
Yeah things went numb after awhile.
Until I found myself right back to you.


Details | Lyric | |

Long Time No See

He stands in a black room
Full of skinny women he holds dear
They stand naked with cuts and bruises
They have nothing to care for
He worships no god 
His eyes filled with hatred
He grabs a woman
Tearing her hair from her very skull
He begins to dig his nails into her eyes
Changing her into someone he can be fond of 
This is the flesh that he adores
This is the type of women he can treasure
With every nail to her chest
He idolizes her wretched screams
The darkness in his eyes
The very pain he likes to see someone endure
He desires the blood that drips from her eyes
When the dark does what the dark does best
You will come to cherish the darkness within yourself.


Details | Lyric | |

Your Mind

Why the method? Why the hiding?
Was it something I was not abiding?
I am lost and a little bit unsure.
What kind of animal makes me endure?

I am not your enemy. How could you believe such lies?
At the bottom of your heart is it truly me you despise?
I count the days 'till this is all left behind.
But it's hard to live without knowing your mind.


Details | Lyric | |

A Cinderella Story

She cant express herself
they push her away
they lock her up inside her own mind
if you look throught the hole you will see
the depression shes in

Shes just like cinderella
locked up and hid away
you have no idea
look throught the hole without the key
there is nothing left for her and me

You wanna take away everything
you just left her alone
tell me it aint so
tell me you wont leave her in there forever
tell me you will let her out to be free and happy

Shes just like cinderella
locked up and hid away
you have no idea
look throught the hole without the key
there is nothing left for her and me

The new game you wanna play
it wont work
you beat her to the ground
her mind has become her home
theres no escape

She walks alone
her mind has become her home
see what your missing
she runs away but shes not allowed
now its your turn to be locked up

Shes just like cinderella
locked up and hid away
you have no idea
look throught the hole without the key
there is nothing left for her and me

there is nothing left
there is nothing left
Nothing!


Details | Lyric | |

On His Silence

Silent gratitude to the damp room i lay bent
Filtering my sobs with noise of the running faucet
Tears will forever be one with the waste water;
Till eternity shall it be hidden to the sight of my mother...


Details | Lyric | |

Unnamed

Plugs you into my world
Turns my eyes 
Looking into my skull
Staring at my brain
Hoping to see what comes next
Takes my heart and rips it out
Dying alittle more
Shoots my gut 
And places my brain where my gut once lived
Takes my fingers and pushes them into my hand
So i just have nubs
Takes my head and crushes it
Little peices falling
Bleeding unto the ground
Dying alittle more
The unnamed feeling
Comes alive
Then it takes me away
Taking the chill off my life


Details | Lyric | |

ELOPE

I didn't know
where inspiration went
nor why it absconded!
My desire to write
eloped with my imaginative drive.

A choking crowd,
ideas stayed locked
in my small head
and I didn't know 
how to ease them out.


Details | Lyric | |

Childhood

To believe 
Or not to believe
That is the real question.
To hold onto hope
Albeit false hope
Just to keep from letting go
Those childhood dreams
Fantasies
Of wishes and faeries
Of happily ever afters
The things that filled
Your adolescent mind
With so much faith
And trust
And pixie dust
The things that shielded you
From the harsh reality
Of life
Actuality
To believe
And be naïve
To let go
And see the world
As your worst nightmare.


Details | Lyric | |

Please Tell Me

Please tell me you don’t love me
Tell me you don’t need me
My heart has been broken
And it’s braking really easy
Please tell me I’m not the one
Tell me I’m not the reason
I know you’re not happy
You can really stop pretending
Please tell me you’re on your way
Tell me there’s nothing left to say
I’m jus waiting to brake down crying
Every minute of everyday
So please tell me I was once loved
Tell me I had your kisses and hugs
Tell me you had the love of your life
We changed so we gotta split up


Details | Lyric | |

Hold Me Now

Maybe this isnt something to say
to someone like you
someone i could never be
something i dont want anyone to see
so ill hold it in
until i explode
hold me now 
im standing on the edge of
the bridge
nothing to hold on to
I only want someone to save me
but how can you if your blind
and you cannot see the dangers around you
so you keep them until they get so close
to your face and finally explode
then you see
hold me now
cause im already 6 feet into the ground


Details | Lyric | |

Kurt

i am kurt daniel everdean 
I am 21 years old
I've been playing the bass guitar
Since I was 11
i weight 145 pounds
i have blondish brown hair
and blue eyes

If I could say one thing about me that I like... Its that I never gave up.


things started when i lost my father
i was 10 years old
my mother started going to her room everytime she got home
she would come out with her eyes all red... Shes been crying
until i accidently walked in on her doing drugs
i now believe it was the drugs that caused the redness
me and my brother would fight everynight
when i bought my first bass
he slammed it against the floor
and told me since i think my lifes crap
then i shouldnt have anything that makes me happy
My mom became a street whore
She would dress in a golden gown and wear ugly make up
We would never see her 
unless she needed money to get condoms for her "men"

the things between me and my brother got worse
I was arguing with him over a text he sent my mom
And he got into an accident and died that night

Things just never got better
I created a band called the nocturnal
And the reason you haven't heard of us yet
Is because were an underground punk band in Seattle
we haven't gotten far yet
Just underground party's and bars

My mom ended up running away with her "boyfriend"
After my brother died she blamed me
And told me to leave and said she won't come around me
Until I brought him back

Since then I've gotten a job and was able to pay rent on
My moms old apartment
Hoping shed come back clean and sober
As for me
I've cleaned up. but suicide is still an option

I haven't found god yet and I don't want to
If there was a god why did he give me this ****ed up life
Ya you'll say Kurt?... You made the desicions for your life
I knolw I did. But he was the one who let it actually happen

I've been writing since I was 11
Lyrics and poems
Drawings and paintings
bass guitar and vocals

My life isn't over
But it's sure close to it

Its sad to think that what you thought was fake... Is a true story


Details | Rhyme | |

No Limits, No Life's

No limits
No life’s
Dark storms run & hide
Commit to the thought of living sewer side
In the grime and grit of a rat plagued sewer
Thinking an end to the problem, the pain, the cure 
Drowning in sorrow, letting go of the chance
In the darkness of the mind the devil will dance
Don’t do it he said
With a gun to his head
There’s player’s in this game
There set out to win
Smug faces of greed a shone with a grin

No demons of mine will tick the hands of time
As I watch them closely as the observer of my mind
Sick puppies take drugs to stem the pain of their cells
Running and hiding from the picture of themselves
Gliding high in the wind
Like a kite with no strings
There’s limits, no life
Dark storms run & hide
Commit to the thought of living sewer side
In the grime and grit of a rat plagued sewer
Thinking an end to the problem, the pain, the cure 
Drowning in sorrow, letting go of the chance
In the darkness of the mind the devil will dance
Don’t do it he said
With a gun to his head
Last thing on the man’s mind was a bullet of lead
No more of his trouble, as the man lay down dead
There goes the problem on the pavement of pain
The man dying from one shot to the middle of his brain
There’s no limits
No life’s
This is the chance 
Don’t run & hide
There’s life in those eyes
Don’t let these times pass you by
You’re beautiful and lost
In a world full of wisdom
Close your eyes, silence your mind, it’s time for you to listen
Hear the birds, hear the bells
Watch the flowers, the textures the smell
This is a life of heaven
Not a life spent in hell
There’s player’s in this game
They are just out to win
Smug faces of greed a shone with a grin
Don’t worry your world with windswept emotion
Observe the wheel, to see your world in motion
Understand, not judge
For a person in the street
Offer the man with no food, something to eat
Take a second a minute to observe not race
Find the peace in the puzzle that we make of this place
If we each find our peace then we will not compete
As the one picture we strive, will now be complete

There’s no limits
No life’s
This is the chance 
Don’t run & hide
There’s life in those eyes
Don’t let these times pass you by
You’re beautiful and lost
In a world full of wisdom
Close your eyes, silence your mind, it’s time for you to listen


Details | Lyric | |

Alone

alone
i cant remember where Ive gone
where ive gone

I tried to forget
you tried to pretend
you loved me, alone, alone

alone
you left me fighting 
feeling the pain 
the shame

I tried to ignore
you ran out the door
one more mistake 
alone

and all at once
all the hurt all the pain
found me again
alone

I tried to forget
you tried to pretend
you loved me, alone, alone
I tried to ignore
you ran out the door
one more mistake 
alone



Details | Lyric | |

Lamentation

Another song from the set made in middle school
------------------------------------------------------------------------

My life craves the soul And I’m all alone You stay—then off you go And I can’t hold on You will never know me For what I am [oh no] Can we forget? Can this just end? If we don’t believe How can we mend? Your face haunts my memory And I can’t move on Cuz here without you I feel…so numb Left out in the cold For you will never love me Was I too much [to mend]? But how can you see? How can you know [what I meant to you]? Could this be the end of the road Left to sleep alone? -Ooooooooh- Can we forget? Can this just end? If we don’t believe— Can I forget? Will my life end? If you don’t exist Why do I pretend?


Details | Lyric | |

Identifying Dreams

Slipping into a burning dream
Within the silence, within disease
The past and future undeclared
Proclaimed a reason to never care

Witness nothing in this place
The secret emptiness of space
Beyond my portrait; past this night
There hides a passion to kill the light

Sliding into deserted shame
Within the nothing, within the pain
The ways I see you in my mind
Leaves such hatred left inside

Witness only the thing I am
The creature no-one understands
And through the painting of my soul
This grand illusion will only grow

Fading into the broken scene
The monster carving this burning dream
Solely focused on painting lies
Its eyes absorbing my dying light

Soul now shimmers, wakes my heart
The creature crawling into the dark
And every monster I’ve ever been
Is purified by the truth I’ve seen


Details | Free verse | |

How I Long For--

My dreams are falling apart
In Your hands, I pray (for joy), "Take heart!"
You are the stars - searing my 
Soul is kneeling to the ground
Trace my future and take wing
Towards the pathway...You find peace
You are an angel in my--

Heart is bleeding soundlessly
Above land...I mourn so sweet
I am the clouds - carrying a 
Gallon of grief...release me!
Place me in fields of love and
Forgive me and lift me up
You are the heavens to my--

Heart is beating profoundly
Without Your heart's joyous song
You are the sun - nourishing 
My lambs are grazing around,
Roving in fields of splendor,
Enlightening the darkness
You are an apple to my--

Eye is grieving...losing sight
Of Your glory...I feel lost
You are the lake - sparkling with
Delight and Luck! Bring us home!
Grow like a morning glory
In the autumn time, You thrive
You are valuable to my--

Eye is twinkling...praying for 
Insight...yearning for Your sight
You are the hills - guiding my
Mind is longing for your mirth--
Restoring peace to my verse,
Sprouting forth grace and freedom
You are the train tracks, bearing--

My train of thought...making my
Steel spirit connect with Yours
You are the valley - between
The mountains guarding us all,
Building strength to fragile bones,
Welcoming a stream of hope
You are my map - lending me

YOUR helping hand I would take
Now, I could take Your challenge
You are like a maze filled with
Mysteries conceal the truth;
I fight with all of my might
And I BEG for Your mercy
To mend my once blissful dreams!

How I long for Your mercy...


Details | Lyric | |

On The Brink

On the brink of crying,
on the brink of dying,
what are you gonna do?On the brink of cryin‘,
On the brink of dyin‘,
You’ve gotta listen to your soul now, too.

Now think of this situation,
This is a poem, but also a conversation
If you don’t want to hurt those around you
You’ve gotta help yourself first then the other few

On the brink of cryin‘,
On the brink of dyin‘,
What are you gonna do?
On the brink of cryin‘,
On the brink of dyin‘,
If you don’t wanna hear the truth
Then you better not do something stupid, but instead new
On the brink of cryin‘,
On the brink of dyin‘,
What are you gonna do?
On the brink,
On the brink,
I’m on the brink of cryin’
‘Cause inside I’m
‘Cause inside I’m
‘Cause inside I’m dyin’
I’m on the,
I’m on the, I’m on the brink.


Details | Lyric | |

Desolate

Desolate

Wandering aimless
Through twilight city streets at night
Invisible to the outside world
Nothing really right
Looking, longing, wondering when I will see
That always bright, reflective light
The end of the tunnel

Another night of sorrows
Drown in open bottles
Fluid for the times of your life
And remedy for the tears we’ve shed
But in the end you’ll be blinded
By broken seal, on broken bottle
You will stay on the dark side of the tunnel
Never see light

Living in darkness for years of my life
I’ll continue to strive while I’m still alive
But not by my choice…
Guardian angel chose me to live this life
Desolate life, I am unsure how long I can live it


Details | Lyric | |

Sorrows Underneath

I think of all my problems.
I think of all my pains.
I think of all my sorrows
Until I go insane.

I think of all the smiles I’ve worn
Which hides my sorrow underneath 
No one seems to notice.
That I go through so much grief.

My tears seem to keep flowing
Inside my tired eyes.
Each time I want to tell you
But, my words come out as lies.

These days I’m felling distant,
Faraway and weak.
My sadness pulls me further,
From the happiness I seek.

I’ve just begun to realize, 
That my hopes and dreams are gone,
I’m walking down a dead-end-road
Humming a tuneless song.

I’m standing on a rooftop, although I’m afraid of heights.
I’m watching the cars underneath me move,
And somehow this doesn’t feel right.

Now I think of what I’m doing
I know I could find a way 
To beat through my depression 
And start living a brighter day.




Details | Lyric | |

Painting

The paintbrush spreads us all over the canvas
a gallery of our beauty
my hands around picture frames
your face worn as a mask
the wax melts away all of our pain
the fireplace burns the wood 
little pieces fly threw the air
They end their journey
laying on the floor of the darkest place
one lands on the canvas i painted 
Burning it along with our lies
It curls up into little circles
eventually fading away
just like our pain


Details | Lyric | |

What if

What if you met me first,
Would you choose me?
Would you love me?
Would you fall for me?
Would you promise me an eternity?
Or would you walk away?

We both know I wasn't your first,
But I wished I was your last

What if we were given a second chance,
Would we be friends?
Would we go separate away?
Would we fall in love again?

Or pretend that we never happened...


What if... 


Details | Lyric | |

Roots of Time

My soul fears it not. It languishes with all I’ve had…
Existence  cares it not. You either lose it or add it
My body freezes not , around myself people passing by... 
I’ve had this empty  spot, easy to conquer, hard to apply..

So I dive inside my self to find amusement and selfishness.
Why do I hang on to this bitter moment, when love is all that I couldn’t have?

Then I dive into my nature, and I see a man bringing  it to closure..
A path  he never walked.  He searched, and fought, 
And at the end, he became a hurt creature in a world of hallow…
He became filled with emotions and people he could never forgive…

So I dive  inside myself to find amusement and selfishness.
Why do I hang on to this bitter moment, when love is all that I couldn’t have?

Then I quiet down, I pray, I cry. I force myself to stand up
God! Where can find strength  to stop the pain where  I weak mostly?
What have I done to my  dreamt dreams, which were so happily created, and now 
so ghostly lived?     

So I dive  inside myself to find amusement and selfishness.
Why do I hang on to this bitter moment, when love is all that I couldn’t have?

Suddenly, I close my eyes. My hands tremble , my body stops…
I hear voices inside my head: 
“ its your time and  is now is too late, you journey is over,  this is your faith! Its your 
time and is now too late, your dream is over, there is no mate”

So I dive  inside myself to find amusement and selfishness.
Why do I hang on to this bitter moment, when love is all that I couldn’t have?
 

At the end I am Stumbled.  I am astonished by the feeling from within
All I have is emptiness.  I had it all  and never fought.. I saw it all, and never 
caught…
I simply stood away, and let it  pass by me…Amazingly and free. 
 I have chosen too much and have so little. I  am all alone. 


Details | Lyric | |

FEELINGS

Don 't let feelings creep in .
It makes life hell.
Kills you and pains till death. 

Slaughters your dry throat.
Cannabis is the only way.
Comes in at mid-night. 
Remain till dawn. 
Fearful as dracula.
Suck your blood from heart. 
 
Manaq mind crucifix your body .
Pulchritude is the only reason.
      
      Sumber  sumber  sumber..........
      Sumber sumber sumber............

Don t let feelings creep in.
It makes life hell. 
Kills you and pains till death. 

Lust the body cry for.
Rue over the salicious job. 
Swill over the thought. 
Inner soul thuds and thuds it hard. 
Succumb your thought 
for the ridiculous job.

Don t let feelings creep in 
It makes life hell. 
Kills and pains till death. 

Meditate your heart. 
Only for lub & dub .
Sounds made by heart. 
Which keeps you alive. 
But never let feelings take over. 

Surrender it to your mind. 
And never  let your heart 
to control over forever.

       Sumber sumber sumber.........
      Sumber sumber sumber.........

Don 't let feelings creep in.
It makes life hell 
Kills you and pains till death .


Details | Lyric | |

Fields of Blasphemy

Where shall I flee? I’m swimming in the waters of misery…
And I’m crying a river…I’m saturated in woe 
How do I think cheerfully? I’m lost in the abyss…and the shadows won’t let me be… 
And I’m bewildered… I’m fighting to break free… 

(I can’t break free…
Where do I flee?
Why can’t I break free?)
The spiders are spinning their webs above me…
Bless me and untangle me from this madness…please… give me peace…I’m wasting away – 

They’re preying upon me…they’re whipping me … warping their way inside of me
My saliva drips on the ground…I’m growing numb and I pray
The monsters don’t attack my heart’s desires…if I let them break free,
I’ll never be the same…I’ll never see the light of day

Where do I belong? I’m roaming in the fields of blasphemy 
And I’m crying a river…I feel like an awful disgrace… 
How do I find a pathway? I’m lost in fields of weeds…they’re producing catastrophe 
And I’m bewildered… I’m trying to finish the race… 

(I can’t keep pace…
The sweat is trickling down my face…
Why can’t I keep pace?)
The wasps are chasing after me…where do I flee?
Caress me and save me from the distress…stinging me in pleasure…I’m drifting away – 

They’re hovering all around me… they’re harassing me…could you wipe away my tears?
Find me a place of rest…to make the sufferings end and I pray
The darkness will stop spreading lies in my head…if I throw away my fears, 
I’ll never learn to face my fears…I’ll never know His way…

Where shall I go? I’m roaming in the fields of blasphemy 
And I’m crying a river…I’m saturated in woe 
How do I find the key? I’m lost in fields of weeds…they’re reproducing catastrophe
And I’m bewildered… 

I’m yearning to let go… 
I’m learning to cope with my fears…
I’m deserting my woe…
I’m wiping away the tears... 
(that has been bottled up for many years… )

The spiders have ensnared me in their webs…
I’m in danger…I’m wrapped up in distress…
 and there is no where to hide… 
The wasps are tracking me down...I haven’t paid my debts…
I’m struck in alarm…I’m in a mess…
Please stay by my side – catch me as I collide
( We’re all together on this ride… )

I can’t break free (please relieve me from my despair) 
Why can’t I break free? Where do I flee? (this pain is too much to bear)
I can’t keep pace (give me the energy to shine like the sun)
Why can’t I keep pace? Why can’t I finish this race? (give me some strength to run)


Details | Couplet | |

Outcry of a broken heart

Even my mind not stilled by silence
my thoughts outraged with hurt and hate
as Im dumbfounded with confusion
leaving the cause to no debate,
I cannot tell you what is wrong
to tell you means I'd have to trust,
and my heart no longer feels willing,
beating only cause it must.

I feel a dead man live my life
I see his cold abandoned heart,
I hear his agonising cries
as he is torn more apart,
knowing no peace, no rest I find
having no comfort, stuck in a bind
a vagabond, alone in his life
Ive been cut off, betrayal was the knife.

awaiting death, and still much worse
my whole life upon this earth
seems like a scheme to take my worth
and bring me to nothing,
such is my curse
and i fear the effects
may never reverse
and make believe that I am cursed.
the way I feel too great for words
too great to bear such constant hurt
my soul depressed and left prostrate
before God to help, I hope it works. . .


Details | Lyric | |

Jagged Edges








                                            I had once walk this earth naked and broken
                                           With my eyes I could not see
                                           Finding a vein in my heart with the pulse of life
                                           I no longer walk in the way of deceit
                                           I was drifted to the jagged edges of my world
                                           and the earth taking from under my feet
                                           Arrows of truth killed my sorrow
                                           Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is to come, and
                                           today I'm at peace.






Details | Verse | |

Here's to the Kids

Here’s to the kids
Who go to bed with pain in their eyes
And sadness in their hearts

Here’s to the kids
Who wake up every morning
Wondering if it will be their last

Here’s to the kids
Who lived their last day on this earth,
Fighting an internal battle

Here’s to the kids
& here is to me.
-m.b.


Details | Lyric | |

It is better to dare than hide

"Shall I hold back my hand
    from the rose,
        because of the thorn?"
But the carpet is red
    that bears the feet of them
        that have trodden down the grapes;
Laid before those
    who held not back from life
         because of death! ...
It is better to dare than hide!


Details | Bio | |

Scarred Soul

She sits still... 
Can you feel the stares?
Her eyes cry tears-
They are the window to her soul.
Inside she is hurting...
The years have been unkind.
She has not come to open arms-But to fear and closed minds.
Fear that grips her every being...
And keeps her from herself.  
Spiraling down, she's out of control.
Will she ever stop?
She feels the stains upon her.
They are heavy and won't wipe away.
Holding her down and keeping her alone...
These stains have scarred her soul.


Details | Lyric | |

My Outlandish Mind

I’m hopping out of bed, 
Hoping you would save me from my fleeting fantasies 
You are permanently in my mind…

Everything’s out of my reach…
Tonight, I crawl into my outlandish mind
I’ll have a chance to meet you eye to eye in my dreams

And I stare at you and wish I had a flawless life…
You are the waves of the sea
You are the diamonds in the cave

Everything’s out of my reach…
Tonight, I crawl into my outlandish mind
We’ll have to see each other again in reality 

I’m going insane…I touch the fabrics of your imagination
You are the mountains, staring me down like a hawk
I trace a shooting star in the starlit sky…

Everything’s out of my reach…
Tonight, I crawl into my outlandish mind
I’ll have a chance to meet you some time in my dreams

Reach out to the sun’s flames
Be my guide and lead me to a better pathway
You are the sorrowful rain

Everything’s out of my reach…
Tonight, I crawl into my outlandish mind
I’ll have a chance to meet you somewhere in my dreams

Your rain trickles down from bitter clouds
Lighten up and be carefree;
Don’t paralyze me with your lightning fury

Everything’s out of my reach…
Tonight, I crawl into my outlandish mind
I’ll have a chance to meet you face to face in my dreams

You might as well be suffocating me with your beauty
Someone unchain me from living this lie
Your love projects peace in mind

Everything’s out of my reach…
Tonight, I crawl into my outlandish mind
I’ll have a chance to meet you, even if you are a nightmare


Details | Lyric | |

Hold On To

The wind is strong
We have nothing to hold on
The sun is going down behind the hills
The violet sky and the tangerine glow on the local mill.
The wind blows away our dreams
I hold on to the seams.
I watch you as you stare
You want me to let go but I don’t dare.
My dreams are all, you’re nothing to me
Once I leave you ill be free.
Two more years,
There goes all my fears.
My dream will come true
That’s because I did it all WITHOUT you.


Details | Lyric | |

Heart Broken

I woke up in the morning and wondered why I'm still here, life has never been good to me and left me so Heart Broken. I only want to be happy, is that too much to ask? So if there is a God up above, I really do need a hand. I step outside in the pouring rain, I already feel depresssed. So Mother Nature can feel my pain and thats why its raining for me. I know life is what I make of it, and believe me, I try my best, but once in a while I need a break, or the comfort of a valued friend. Hearts are meant to be broken, I know cause I lived through it all, but hearts take time to mend from the pain, depending on how it was broken. My life was full of trauma, a time I would not want to go back to, but now I have an adorable dog and her daughter, who help me heal. My heart is still broken from the past, but now it is slowly healing. My furry friend will be my comfort, when I feel so lost and alone. Nobody should ever feel lonely and lost, cause when you need a friend they are always there...even if its your dog or any other kind of pet. They are very therapeutic at times, when the darkness seems to haunt you. Anytime I need a friend, my pets are close within reach. They will not let me cry for long, cause they're on my lap and licking me. I have to smile at them, and show them I am okay, cause if I don't they get sad too, and that is something I would never want them to suffer. So if you have ever been Heart Broken, find yourself a furry friend. They will be there whenever you need them, and cheer you up, when you are feeling down. I thank God for giving me my dog, because of her I also have her daughter. God does work in mysterious ways, and sometimes I am too stubborn to wait, but God has aleays been there, and he hurts along with me too.


Details | Lyric | |

Kiss of Death

Kiss of Death

Can you see my pain now can you see why I'm so depressed do you understand how or what I'm feeling no because you have never asked cause you don't care oh it sucks being the youngest no what about the middle child or the misfit or the child everyone picks on what about them suicide is an option for them because they cannot win the game of life and neither can I I cant fight no longer I won't try I give up with everything in me I'm not worth it I'm the middle child the misfit the one everyone picks on I'd get treated better if I wasn't me if I was my sister or brother I'd get it all and they think they have it bad one day in my shoes would they understand the guilt I hold or the withdraw of being human I'm a monster I only dream of death I will love you with the kiss of death a place where I take you so you can feel my pain too nothing will help nothing will pass by me only in me I have no feelings no soul and no reason to live I'll kiss you with my sorrow and I'll be happy around you so you have to guess who I really am I'm not happy and I'm not warm I'm cold my heart is frozen not rhyming with time my brain no longer breathing no longer sending pulses to my organs the blood rushes from my vain out into the open unto the blue carpet I can only wish of death for the Satan inside to take me away to the lake of fire where I burn forever and eternity but will it solve my problems yes will it make you understand when I'm gone that I'm all you have left from this disaster no bands caused my deaths only the game of life did 


Details | Lyric | |

It's Obvious

I was introduced into the vast illusions of life.
Some people call it love, others call it a knife.
Cutting your skin so you can bleed.
Each drop is a distraction from what you need.
You close your eyes and take the pain.
Then all your worries are temporarily in vain. 
No progress, no digress
Just that moment to believe that more is less.
Oh and you grieve from your hopelessness
You accept the fact that you have lost your happiness
You cry, You scream! Help is what you seek
No one hears though, we just ignore and call you a freak
All this segregation
All this quote on quote integration
The only thing it does is make the big seem bigger 
And the small seem smaller.
Belief is the only thing you keep
You grasp it so tightly and put it under your feet
Each step is a different view
You’re looking around for something new
Eyes stay open, Heart is listening
Your intentions are bright and glistening.
You want to change from mad
And achieve the beautiful emotion of simple glad  
Battle this depression, get away from this mess and
Find a whole new state of mind open for progression.
Your voice sounds desperate.
Your scars show desperate. 
You are desperate, and you’ve made a mess of it.
But it’s obvious to me,
That you can finally see
How to overcome the desperation
And use your failures as inspiration.
Yes, it’s obvious to me.


Details | Blank verse | |

A Thin Smile

I sat down to write a happy song
But the words won't come
And neither will the tears.


Details | Lyric | |

Consecrated Grounds

Clinging on to silence
When there’s nothing to behold
In the mirror of this earthly
Visage growing old

Beneath what now just lingers
In this quieting despair
There lies an open graveyard
Begging for your care

The flowers here are wilting
All the children turn away
And in that I am haunted
There is no such thing as play

My voice sings of confusion
When I ask for your embrace
Instead I speak of lacking
And why it’s you that I should blame

Now alone beside the mirror
This old man is close to truth
And as he fades into the nightmares
He recalls what stole his youth

Stalking through the darkness
A passenger of pain
“It is I that haunts this graveyard”
And then he spoke his name

Awake and overflowing
With the senses I thought gone
The old man in the mirror
Is now a child with a song


Details | Lyric | |

Message in a Bottle

I see you’re so alone and abandoned 
your head in your hands, I wonder: “why"? 
Your heart, it feels betrayed and broken 
And you don’t care if you live or die 

Yeah, you’ve searched deep inside every bottle 
And you never found any message there 
Yeah, your soul is in pain, and it drives you insane 
There’s no message in a bottle, you don’t care 
You’ve got to start taking care of yourself man 
You’ve been running away far too long 
Time to screw your head on straight; you know it’s not too late 
Get to moving before your soul is gone 

You’re a diamond 
Yeah you’re looking pretty rough 
You’re a lot of talk, but you don’t look very tough 
Maybe years ago you were, but you’ve outlived your glory daze 
Can you see through the bottle’s bottom? 
Or is there a blinding haze? 

Yeah, you’ve searched deep inside every bottle 
And you never found any message there 
Yeah, your soul is in pain, and it drives you insane 
There’s no message in a bottle, you don’t care 
You’ve got to start taking care of yourself man 
You’ve been running away far too long 
Time to screw your head on straight; you know it’s not too late 
Get to moving before your soul is gone 

You’re abandoned, on the street & all alone! 
You got a place to be, but you don’t like to call it home! 
You’re a diamond! 
Yeah, you think you’ll never die! 
Keep on looking inside that bottle, you’re gonna find out that’s a lie!


Details | Lyric | |

I've Got Pain Inside, But No One Cares

When you smile at me i laugh at you
When you laugh at me i smile back
I try and hide the pain and agony I feel
So i left this earth and went to Mars
to live closer to the lovely stars;
you might not think it's true

You say you know me 
you act like you know me
you even talk like you do,
but that's not true

You talk about me like you know me from deep inside
you have even tried to have that denied
but sooner or later i'm gonna die
and no one will care

To you and them it doesn't matter anymore
'Cause I'll be under the soiled floor
I'll be forgotten;

never spoke of
I'll be hurt and killed because of love
no one will miss me 
i'll die with no one's sympathy
they won't even ask what happened to me

Livin' alone i think i hate myself
It's like i'm on the top of a never-ending bookshelf
feelin' as if i'm gonna fall any second now
I'm gonna die and won't remember how

I'm sayin' to the world "good-bye"
now i'm gonna ask you this:

Can ya hear my shouts and cries 
can ya see the tears in my eyes 
can ya hear, can ya see, can you feel me?

baby, please...help me
take the pain away
so i'll never deal with it for
another day


Details | Lyric | |

Hiding

Hide my face
the things i cant let you see any longer
Cover the scars
the things that still unravel in my soul
Sow my mouth shut
the things that should not be said
Cut my brain out of my skull
the things that i should not remember
Tie up my hands 
So i cant hurt anyone
Tie up my feet
So i cant run away from my problems
Stitch up my heart
So i can fit the pieces back together
Hide down in a hole
So that one day i can be discovered


Details | Lyric | |

Let Me Out

Broken as the muggy backyard philanthropy
I'm puking again on another cold morning
The hot arteries begin to pound anxiously
Let myself out again but got a warning

Sit down and cover myself in acetone
Soaking the floor the corners begin to close
Mother goose help me learn to not moan
Let myself out again but she knows

Drain out the fried out fluids once more
Passion is such a great and deep confection
Try to wash out the stain but wake from the floor
Let myself out again but paranoia brings affection

Realize how much I love myself again
Sacrifice my body to the pits of hell
It separates the hate from protection
Let myself out again but my heart begins to swell

Listen to all the poor dying souls
They shine positive and strive another day
I lie face down in my own hot coals
Let myself out again but begin to fade away



Details | Lyric | |

Baruch Aish the Blessed fire

God is clean with consuming fire  					                                  As gold pours off dross purifies 									         Decision's valley now the hour					  	                                 when He comes with fire in His eyes                                                                               ~                       -                                                                                                                           Baruch Aish the Blessed fire -refrain                                                                                                          ~      Rains burning away sin as tin 				   						        The bush the flame does not devour									        Will be your enemy or friend 										  Radiant blaze thorny flower	                                                                              ~  -~        refrain 														     Giving us heat the burning heart	   									 Hearth's hand to warm our cold bones								     Separating us from the dark										       lamp for our feet avoiding stones                                                                      ~ -refrain  															 To see by night with your candle light                                                                        Your blessed fire or ire with might                                                                                the sun rising over hill like lighting                                                           		   Baruch Aish the Blessed fire 														


Details | Lyric | |

Another Sleepless Night

I want change, something new.  
Maybe to be able to just close my eyes and drift off with positive thoughts that I would be able to wake up to.

What must I question about myself?  
What type of changes to be made?

Am I just a lost soul on a cold path, taking strides walking barefooted on broken pieces of my heart trying to reach the end of something?  

It’s a long road.  So I just shrug and shake it off and continue my journey with dreams of flying away for a new beginning.  New types of songs to sing, then once again I realized I can’t fly with broken wings.  Tears followed with laughter.  I really hate not being perfect and if perfection comes in time, when can I have it?  
If it’s meant to be, will or can I be a Saint?
  
I’m over thinking this process. Lost hope just doesn’t carry the faith of my dreams.  I’m not a dreamer, I attempt to rely on reality based facts.  Like the vision in the mirror looking back at me. Same eyes and mouth, the image in the mirror thoughts are the same only in reverse, maybe positive on the other side. 

I’m not a dreamer. 
Others who dream, sleep.

I’m borrowing time like a bad loan, interest to high and it’s going to take a life time to clear this mess up and my energy is wasted on my guilt to build something that doesn’t exist.  My life as a contractor to destroy and rebuild has broken me down also.  

Where do I go? 
Yes I’m confused.  Searched for answers within myself and still have feelings of being lost.
So it’s another Sleepless night staring at the ceiling with these thoughts, and there are still just thoughts without answers. 


Details | Lyric | |

The Habit

Written December 17, 2011


They tell me I'm an addict
But I swear I've kicked the habit
Trapped between who I should be
Should I lead or let them follow me

I feel so lost in these times like these
Fooling around in what I never should have done at all
Should I let it rain on down tonight?
Or go and breed another life?

I've faced this day a thousand days before
And yet I'll likely see a thousand more
If I keep on living times like these
It's times like this I'll forever see

Wonder what it will ever take
To wash this ever-growing pain away
Feeling so lost in the cumbersome ocean sea
Pleading "Lord, please don't give up on me!"

Come rain on down another day
But now to flood away my yesterdays
Clean me up right here today
So I can breathe another day


Details | Rhyme | |

I am an unread book on an empty book shelf

I live in this cell with my self-hatred
How I was raised makes me feel so isolated 
These are not my thoughts or feelings for that matter
But I still feel as if I’m an ugly house that will never flatter

Even if you were to fix me
I’d still have some screws loose
I’d rather you knock me down
And tighten up my noose
Because my personality is too obtuse….
For you to understand

Until then, I’ll wait in the gallows
Waving my right hand
Trying to find a way out
Because I can’t tie a noose like you can…

It’s depressing to think that I possess this body that I can’t stand
Everyone that I love and meet will never truly know who I am
Because the face that I show is a total scam

So, For the time being I’m stuck in this body

This mind...

This soul...

I’ll forever be tortured in this blood stained hell hole. 


Details | Lyric | |

Look at Life in a Different Light, for There is Other Fish in the Sea

You completed me before in the past; however, now, you h- hurt me…you hurt me emotionally and emotional pain hurts the most (You lost the affection we shared that I adored – oh Lord of accord – she fooled me…spread butter to my toast & let me swim coast to coast) Show me God’s glow and please be humble – don’t boast…spread butter to the toast…I wish you and I could have a cup of tea and buttered toast I’m in your shoes; now, let me grow I won’t let this disdainful pain show This shame bestows woe upon my soul My heart is scorching like coal My heart is beating like the drums in the night I know why I feel depressed – everything’s black and white CHORUS: I will squander my time now and forever (Are you an evil, fallen angel?) Until I meet you eye to eye again Our departure came to soon…our future’s a blur (sarcasm: Oh you must be a sweet, beautiful angel –) Come on & get out of the lion’s den! Release me…I need to let go… Believe in me…reflect on me… Release me…let me go with the flow Let me grow and see…the light at the end of the tunnel There’s other fish in the sea… Hmm, torn apart by your heartless departure so true You didn’t even say anything to me…you’re not my cup of tea I was bright with you alright, holding hands with you Before you left me out of the b-blue – you see? I denied Him for a long, long time…where are you since you got out of the lion’s den? Goodbye, my once precious friend! Friend! (now, you’re a foe…I am lost & found) Release me from the woeful waters, drowning me with pity time & time again… time & time again I guess love is the end…the end. End. (you let me go & I am…gravity-bound) CHORUS: I will squander my time now and forever (Are you an evil, fallen angel?) Until I meet you eye to eye again Our departure came to soon…our future’s a blur (sarcasm: Oh you must be a sweet, beautiful angel –) Come on & get out of the lion’s den! Release me…I need to let go… Believe in me…reflect on me… Release me…let me go with the flow Let me grow and see…the light at the end of the tunnel There IS other fish in the sea…


Details | Lyric | |

Crater

Hold me tight, like tonight was our last day.
If I could have imagined everything
Then I could just walk away.
If I could imagine anything,
Then everything would be my darkest dream.

And I, I can't close my eyes
And fall from your skies.
Now out here in space
I wonder what impact I can make.

And now that I've lost everything,
I rise, oh I rise, but it's too late.
And now that I've lost everything,
I fall, fall into myself.
Watch as I fall away.

Lay next to me so I can see all that you hide.
Without you here I lock myself away.
And no I won't, I won't give up this fight.
To get up and just walk away.
I can't lose everything.

And now that I've lost everything,
I rise, oh I rise, but it's too late.
And now that I've lost everything,
I fall, fall into myself.
And now out here in space,
I wonder what impact I can make.
Watch as I fall away,
Watch as I fall away.
Now out here in space
I wonder what impact I can make.
Now watch as I fall away.
Watch, watch everything, now as it falls away.


Details | Lyric | |

Deprived Pride

Pride
of this i wont be deprived
I know this is going to break me
but just let me be
no better then the next person 
that im sitting here judging
she only 15 
and yeah she got a son
but here i sit
throwin' a rebellious fit
tryin' to hurt everyone around me
but little do I know
I did this on my own
but you see
I got this thing called Pride
and of this im refuisng to be deprived


Details | Lyric | |

Statistic

I'm somebody I don't want to be

Sick in the mind 

Is how trusted ones have nurtured me

Sweet and naive 

What a bad combination

Torn to shreds and built up 

Into a new creation

Sometimes I sleep

And don't dream

But have flashbacks

And see pictures with bad means

"Get this out of my head

Its driving me mad!"

But who do I tell this to

I don't want to relive

What I didn't want to go through

I cry 

But what does this do

I want to know the soulless

Who've affected me hurt, too

I don't care about their presents, futures, or pasts

The thought of my welfare on their minds was last

I only hope that in the future

I'll avoid another life altering calamity

With man


Details | Lyric | |

Dread Life

You said you’d never walk away,
All I wanted was for you to stay.
I hold tight to my pain
Why did you go I never felt the same.
The sky is red
You never had time for what I have said.
All I wanted was for my parents to stay,
But ever since I keep dreading that day.
What did I do wrong,
I listen to music and write songs.
Why did I get left alone,
That just means this was never my real home.
You cut me open,
Just with the words you have spoken.
Call me names and bring me down,
I promise you’ll never see me frown.
You won’t come in the way of my dreams,
You never knew what I really mean.
You took my words and spun them around,
I will never be that person left on the ground.
This is for the day you make me dread,
My birthday will be forever dead.
I will succeed without you,
My friends are all I need that’s my crew.


Details | Lyric | |

You cant out run me like i out run you

Always trying to out stage each other
Trying to be better at something then someone else
Trying to have a better story then them
Quite pathetic
I can tell you a truthful story about my life
You can tell me a fake story about yours
Just so yours is more dramatic than mine
You will never change
Still trying to impress me with all your lies
And when I realized
Thinking that we actually had something
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really there at all


Details | Lyric | |

Suffering Is The Same As Living

Hope, tonight, is just a void Love is destroyed Reality impending my doom Suffering a dream that was never made for me I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Don’t worry I’ll be fine I can just wait, wait as in all eternity You deserve to be happy and free I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Suffering is the same as living Tonight I might, Today I may Set you free away from me I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me You travel all across in my veins Showing you share my pain But my life was never meant for me I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me I'm sorry for those days I've ruined your life Best you just ignore, forevermore I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Suffering is the same as living Tonight I might, Today I may Set you free away from me I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Suffering is the same as living Tonight I might, Today I may Set you free away from me I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me
**Morten Veland, Guitarist, Male Vocalist and Main Songwriter of Sirenia, formerly of Tristania**


Details | Lyric | |

Little Sis is Moving?

Tears slowly dripping down my face, falling out my eyes , and onto the dirty ground floor.
I already miss you but you haven't even left yet.
I'm typing this poem when I can barely see 'cause of the tears that fill my eyes.
You're my little sister that I never met but it seems like I've known you for eternity.
I can't make you stay but I can sure give you a going-away present.
M.J. gave me strength to live on & forget my past but I can't conquer this no matter how
hard I try.

I can't stop them from falling lil' sis! Can you tell me that everything'll be alright
after you leave my life?
I've never seen your face but you comforted my heart whenever I was down.
You say you needed me but it's me who truly needs you.
I wouldn't be able to go through the day without a tear falling out my eye.
That's how I feel about you moving to Mexico...but what do I know, I'm only thirteen years
old.


Details | I do not know? | |

I Wanna Go Home ( Tomorrow )

Declarations of Independence
Shadows of rock on roll
I want to go home
I wanna go home
I want to go home
Tomorrow
 
 
Exchanging love letters 
and dirty looks
I love you
and History books
I want to go home
I wanna go home
I want to go home
Tomorrow
 
 
Sell your soul
Save my skin
Rock and roll
and violins
I want to go home
I wanna go home
I want to go home
Tomorrow
 
Tell me lies 
and take them back
Hide and seek
and fade to black
Show me yours
I'll show you mine
How are you?
I'm doing fine
I want to go home
I wanna go home
I want to go home
Tomorrow
 
 
I'm still here standing still
Take the hill
It's time to kill
I want to go home 
I wanna go -


Details | Lyric | |

Bridge

1 am in the morning 
No noises fill the air
Sitting on the bridge
He thinks
Remembering everything
He has ever done
The street lights 
Glowing from a distance
He stands up 
Climbs over the side
Of the bridge
Stands there 
He breathes in
His last memory
stuck in his head
He lifts one foot
And jumps
his body hits the river
Water drowning his lungs
What he felt at that moment
No one could understand
Sinking to the bottom of the river
The man tied a concrete block
To his back
His eyes wide open
The last thing he saw was water
The last memory he had
Was of his daughter
Living life like this is sad
But if you have no help
Who do you turn to?



Details | Ballad | |

Woods, great place to hide from bullies

Beneath the soil lay our roots
Multi-legged insects walking on moss
Working hard to get the fruits
Like lost souls running to the cross
Or hungry new army recruits
With no care of profit or loss

We are the bugs
Commission on narcotic drugs
Watch as we steal the rain
Plants are ruining our brain

We feast together in the swamp
The spiders just want to push us around
They see us and want to stomp
We hide under the ground
I’m here, no fear of the chomp
It’s our other way around

We are the bugs
Commission on narcotic drugs
Watch as we steal the rain
Plants are ruining our brain

One day I hope it will change
The flower tell us one day
Not to far gone to rearrange
Apex of the sun’s way
Move to the balkan mountain range
Rather than be part of the buffet

We are the bugs
Commission on narcotic drugs
Watch as we steal the rain
Plants are ruining our brain


Details | Lyric | |

Eight Foot Ocean

Written January 30, 2013


A lame duck calls and asks me for the key
To The Barn on Sycamore
A dog drenched down for everyone to see

Walk a line cut thin by your disease
Frayed then dyed and petrified
A moral conscience longing to believe

The flood gates poured before you learned to breath
Fighting up and falling down
Swim around in circles till you're freed

When smooth libations yield vibrating needs
Sunlight wakes us from our sleep
To get all our affairs in order, so we can repeat


Details | Lyric | |

Wrongful Vibe

Never thinking about my actions 
Not caring about what others think
shrug my shoulders being my first reaction
others say my attitude stinks
of course i dont care
I owe no one nothing
I have not a smile to share
but I can tell you something
a small secret 
you must promise not to tell
in your mind you should always keep it
Somewhere in life i stumbled and fell
then my vibe came off all wrong
cause i really do care 
even though i always feel like i never belong
in my heart there is a little tear
 just needs a little tape
someone to show me love
not a soul around me that is fake
the best person being the man above.....
 


Details | Lyric | |

From the heart of society

Theres a girl 
she pours out her heart 
gives him everything
changes her hair goes to get 
fat sucked out of her cause no 
one tells her that she really is 
beautiful she goes home to see him in bed
kissing another girl, then get up and smack her around
people ask where she got her brusies and why she hides her face
but behinde that mask hideing her scars is a girl fearing for her life 
scared to go home to that man that just might give her more scars.
Theres a guy 
who takes care of his brother
comes home and covers his brothers ears 
while his mommy and daddy make him fear
fear for his life his mom brings home different guys 
every night, daddy is never home but when he is 
they fear for  there life that just maybe that might be the last day 
the last breath they live to take
Next day he comes home and sees mommy on the floor bleedin 
his little brother tied to the bed stabed in he chest 
he tries to run but trips and falls
three week later the found him floating down the river..
These are the  people we ignore every day 
the ones that cry out for help
 the ones that need us the most..
The ones that are pimped out and dont see there beauty
 the ones that hide the scars that the one they love put on there face
This is our world and society today


Details | Ballad | |

Diedre II

Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode I cunnan sense her embrace that felans gelic Tragedy A Heart to hath, slipped beneoðan waw The dark pulse nou beckons us closer How many daegs will this passion bledan way We will beon the ans left to blame Bewarian we hath be-came their prey They say thou hast ben addicted to thy pain A life-leas cold barren soul left to die in the rain A whisper to close to the edge A ceallian fram the dark Bringan ut a saving sparke An exodus fram her pain Her life spent braeð in shame A Shadow ceallian brecans the silence Eom I the an to blame Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deirdre naefre said wrong Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode “My decadence wesan just for thee Though thou never hast cared of what I hath been through Enter the world hwaer empathy is clandestine A world created by thee, just for me Hwaet is lecgan in my heart Is why thou wants to through the stan” I call thy name towards nightfall’s reign But they take thou so feorr way A dark engel so devin Cursed by Eden’s Heart I will avenge every tear An exodus fram her pain Her life spent braeð in shame A Shadow ceallian brecans the silence Eom I the an to blame Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deirdre naefre said wrong Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode


Details | Lyric | |

Shedding Regret

I found this poem at last tucked in one of my journal entries...I guess it was supposed to be a song, but I can no longer remember the tune...ah well... it was written a few years ago and it kept repeating in my head. So here it eeeessssss...... :-P Jan. 4, 2008

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I cry for help there's no reply
I know that I'm alone once more
I hope, I wait, I pray, I cry
kneeling to the bloodstained floor

The blood I shed for your dark fate
Is nothing that can be repaid
For the love you gave so true...so pure
That now seems nothing anymore

I long to hear your steady breathing
My head pressed against your chest
To hear your heart slowly beating
Never hesitating to rest

(those days are gone...)


The blood I shed for your dark fate
Is nothing that can be repaid
For the love you gave so true...so pure
That now seems nothing anymore

Now I wait in this dark room
Hoping you will come to free me
Hearing whispers in the gloom
Cold breath brushing right behind me

(can it be you?)

The tears I shed for your dark fate
Is nothing that can be repaid 
For the love you gave so true...so pure
That now seems nothing anymore






Details | Lyric | |

Rekindled

Rekindled

Sunken, rekindled; redefined
Remind me of something, before I find
It’s always a cycle, in my pain
Began at nothing, begin again

Over my nightmares, through these walls
Within the ashes I am called
One more commandment I must write
Within the plague of my respite

Broken recordings stuck on pause
Of all that’s around me and who I was
The silence refracting this damaged mind
Reflections are choosing my design

Seething within me, in every breath
An understanding of what is left
And through this knowledge comes lost things
I now feel the silence that you sing

Suddenly nothing becomes what’s right
Witnessing lifetimes within a night
And now what is true reveals my pain
A dying interest for personal gain

The newest revision to my wounds
Defining the vision that now blooms
Through the darkness comes the sun
A climbing perspective to what will come


Details | Lyric | |

Sadness

Lord I lift up my heart
My life is in your hand
I feel  down and alone
help me up to understand

Yet,you are al ways here
still I am like a child
feelings get the best of me
and start to running wild

I need a tender touch
that only comes from you
I 'm really sinking now
just like mortal men do

Thank I can see the sun
I feel your gentle touch
You are with me right now
and I Thank you so much.

You lift me up dear Lord
Your spirit carries me
I am feeling fine now
this sadness had to flee


Details | Lyric | |

Bones

The one thing I miss about smoking

Is staring at the stars

Breathing in the moonlight

As we coat our lungs in tar

Did it make us happy?

I don't know

 

Let's bury bones

Lock them in the closet

Roll it to the sea

'Coz don't it feel like home

When we don't know who to be?

Let's bury bones

I'll bury you

And you can bury me

Let's bury...

 

The time you kicked the table

Told me you were fine

I don't know if it was me

Or if it was the wine

Did it make you happy?

I don't know

 

Let's bury bones

Lock them in the closet

Roll it to the sea

'Coz don't it feel like home

When we don't know who to be?

Let's bury bones

I'll bury you

And you can bury me

Let's bury...

 

Memories hang like cob-webs

I can feel them on my skin

Every punch and kick we gave

Every shadow that we've seen

Do they make me happy?

I don't know

 

Let's bury bones

Lock them in the closet

Roll it to the sea

'Coz don't it feel like home

When we don't know who to be?

Let's bury bones

I'll bury you

And you can bury me

Let's bury bones

I'll bury you

And you can bury me

I'll bury you

And you can bury me

Let's bury bones.


Details | Rhyme | |

William Hughes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTPIJW_nVCY

I pity him, a young black teen
Trying to be a man with no self-esteem
He examines his life but still can't get it right
His history and past still affecting him at night

He dreams dreams where he relives the past
When he was talked about for not being very fast
A fat boy, dedicated to his love
Rejected affection is what he dreams of

His attempts at sports earned him a bad place
In which he was called a disgrace to his race
And sadly he had a very weak heart
Falling for every girl in hopes to brighten up his dark

Empty, alone, he searched for his essence
Something he could use to embrace in his darkness
The job was open but no one would commit
No one would help to pull him out of this abyss

A quiet boy, what they call honest and sweet
Mistreated, deleted, and beat to his knees
Closed eyes he listens to the laughter
It shaped him, molded him, just like beaten batter

He's now 17 and has an intriguing mind
He knows what to fix but doesn't know how to bind
To seal the torn edges of his soul
To direct the path in which his emotions go

He's no longer bullied but his mind is on self-destruct
Never felt the love of a pretty girls touch
Somethings still wrong but he doesn't know what
What's repelling them, is he not enough

He opens his eyes looking through a wet mist
A single tear falls and he clenches his fist
He sits up listening to his hearts drum
And at last the next day has finally begun


Details | Lyric | |

Hearts Death

I seal my scars with my Fear,
In my Heart I feel so Scared,
Fear my Death with every Breath,
I Feel my Pain within in my Breast,
In my Heart Death is MEET.


Details | Lyric | |

The Burning of the Witch

 THE BURNING OF THE WITCH
There burns the witch into her death
her end and tragedy
rejoicing to her final breath
at what's just meant to be.

Repenting not for what she's done
those deeds both dark and bleak
to summon hope when there was none
except what devils speak.

And weave the nightmare, cast the spell
for which she's here to burn
forever in the pits of hell
where she will learn to learn.
© ron wilson aka Vee Bdosa the Dolestown Poet


Details | Lyric | |

Fallen Knight

Fealty in service of love
For what I had came from above
Shadows fled wherever I stepped
They smiled back at me, knowing the end

A kingdom pure; innocent in peace
Its fires bright, my sword always sheathed
But I was scared of losing her heart
The wars I’d seen could tear it apart

Shadows spoke of crumbling walls
The city’s strength was starting to fall
The rising moon whispered of fate
A darkness within began to awake

A kingdom I could never let die
Such beauty, I thought, could never be mine
I dreamt of loss, and had nightmares of doubt
When I awoke, the monster was out

My precious home, besieged and at war
I heard the screams of thousands or more
I rose at once, unsheathing my rage
Toward the heart I slaughtered and maimed

This kingdom I swore to protect
My queen was lost, and a monster was left
I thrust my sword through to its heart
The pain I dealt was only the start

The sun arose, burning my eyes
I dropped the sword, and began to realise
My love is lost, and the shadows were me
This monster killed his beautiful queen


Details | Lyric | |

Im with you

Ive met you before
memories ago
the mind cant ignore
what you choose to show

does all the pain and hunger
leave you standing tall?
do you lose your sense of wonder?
or hide behind the wall?

Does it ever go unnoticed
when you forget to smile
does the world go unfocused
just for a little while
I'm with you
oh im with you

does the fear of love embrace you?
do hide behind the wall?
do you stay above and cling to?
or let the glass break your fall?

Does it ever go unnoticed
when you forget to smile
does the world go unfocused
just for a little while
I'm with you
oh im with you

You taste so empty
you love so cruel
They made the story
ended by you, you

Does it ever go unnoticed
when you forget to smile
does the world go unfocused
just for a little while
I'm with you
oh im with you


Details | Lyric | |

There Is No Age To Love

A meteor falls down from the stars
Catching fire the faster it falls

She sits in her new house
Sitting in the window seat
Reading a book about wild love
And how fast it grows and catches fire
She watches the meteor shower from her window
She hears a noise coming from the hallway
She creeps around the corner
As she follows the sound to the attic
She opens the creaking attic door
A young man sits before the window
In an old red chair
Half falling apart
He is facing her 
With the back of the chair facing the window
The attic door slams shut
She gasps for air
She is very afraid
He speeds and surely stands before her
Face to face
They meet
He asks her
"who are you?"
she replies
"Amelius, you?"
He moves back as he turns and his back faces her
"Eric"
He moves towards her slowly
And disapears
A few days past
She wonders where he is
She sits in the attic and waits for him
He appears behind her
She explains to him that she feels like she knows him
He sits by her on the bed
he explains there past life together
He returned to meet with her again
She died in a bathtub
He was holding her
Trying to wake her up from the pills she took
She died
After her funeral
He committed suicide
She moved on and became reborn again
He didnt because he was stuck in the past
He kisses her cheek
And she stands in awe
She does drugs in her new life
One night she was driving home
She was on acid
And she ran into a tree
She was dead on the scene
He shows up and pulls her out of the car
She thanks him for saving her
He reaches to hold her hand
"your cold"
She looks at him
"what? you mean im.."
He says "yes"
They leave together in peace
Where they should have been in the begining
His ghost soul is 46 years old
But his age of which he died is 19
She was 17 when she died the first time
The second time she died she was 19
her ghost soul is 23 years old
Love has no age



Details | Lyric | |

Bullets

Walking into the graveyard
Sitting on the bench
Lights a cigarette
Looks at the gun 
He has been hiding
In his jacket
Thinking to himself
He calls his girlfriend
And tells her everything
She doesnt do anything to stop him
He continues walking around in the graveyard
Remember his mom
How she wasnt there for him
How everything was his fault
She loved her students more than him
He gets upset
Daylight reaches the cemetary
He walks to his home
Walking inside
Seeing his mom
Starring at her face
He shoots her
He walks down to the school
Telling them his kids were there
He was there to check on them
They let him inside
20 little children in a classroom
He took his gun
And shot them
Then leaving the room and shooting 
7 faculty members
Everything is silent
The other classrooms are locked
He stands in the middle of the hallway
Falling to his knees
Crying
Figuring out what he just done
He comtenplates
If he should shoot himself or not
With one pull of the trigger
He kills himself
The media eats this story up
Publicly veiwing everything
Telling people
They talk about it for days
the type of attention he needed
See the problem now?
you can thank the media

20 little angels now rest with god for christmas
7 adults stand by there sides
God rewarding each of them for there good deeds
The shooter reunitues with his own demons 

I am very sorry to the families who had lost these children
My peom is very blunt
And in my own words


Details | Lyric | |

GAMES TO THE HEART

TELLING SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM,
AND NOT MEANING A WORD OF IT,
TELLING THEM YOU WANT TO BE,
WITH THEM FOREVER AND HAVE,
A FAMILY WITH THEM,
WHEN YOU REALLY WANT SOMEONE ELSE,
YOU JUST LEAD THEM ON TO BELIEVE,
THAT THEY ARE YOUR DREAM COME TRUE,
BUT YET YOU CAN'T SHOW THEM IN ANYWAY,
AND MAKE THEM BELIEVE CAUSE OF YOUR ACTIONS!

SO, SEARCH YOUR HEART, MIND, AND SOUL,
AND FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS YOU REALLY WANT,
IN YOUR LIFE AND FOR YOUR LIFE,
BECAUSE NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY, 
IF YOU AREN'T HAPPY YOURSELF.
BY THE LOOKS OF THINGS,
YOU ARE NOT HAPPY BY NO MEANS,
AND YOU KEEP HURTING THOSE WHO,
CARE THE MOST FOR YOU.

SO, WHEN YOU ARE READY TO SLOW DOWN,
AND ENJOY THE PLEASURES OF LIFE,
YOU KNOW YOU CAN LOOK FOR ME TO BE THERE,
YOUR ONE TRUE FRIEND WHO HAS CARED,
FOR YOU FROM THE START,
EVEN THROUGH ALL OF YOUR GAMES TO MY HEART,
I HAVE NEVER TURNED MY BACK ON YOU,
LIKE MOST PEOPLE WOULD HAVE,
WHICH SHOULD SHOW YOU, 
I TRULY LOVE YOU FROM MY HEART!


Details | Lyric | |

A One-man Boat

Why do I strive so much in life
This heart of mine cease to refine
Of hope and love and tranquility
I give and give, yet scarcely receive 
It’s the heart that deceives
My Soul resides upon a mountain of misery

It shouts, its scream, yet high up above, as it seems
Away, away from mankind to care
At times like these I am at despair
Hoping, seeking and wishing to share
I speak my heart, my thoughts, and my mind….
Yet scarcely, do I dare to show this degree of misery
My essence is as thin as air…. 
If I hit mankind in the face
No mark, no remembrance, no trace shall I leave
No sweet- sour memories to reminisce upon
Its as if my very presences is provocative to mankind
They ask me kindly, oh please! Oh please! do leave, Save us time and disappear!
No one to care, no one to adhere to

I loved and laughed and lived and hoped and trusted in mankind
Yet from this day on shattered and stiff and deceived and depleted, is what, I now am 
I bare a load wrapped tight around my heart
That never seems to crack or break, 
No fitting key, no rock to break….
For my humble abode lies within my mountain of misery
Where I reside high up above from mankind
From; Hurt or pain or deception or greed
From this day on, to no one shall I heed
I fight my battles on my own
I sail upon a one-man boat


Details | Lyric | |

My pernicious thoughts

My pernicious thoughts
is loosing me,
unscrewing me,
and killing me.

My scary musings
is taking me
on a rigmarole
to nowhere, it seems

Like a vagabond
with no direction,
it keeps pulling me
to all directions.

And surely soon
it will leave me blue.
One mighty pull will it take
to fill me full again.

My pernicious thoughts
keeps loosing me,
unscrewing me,
and killing me.

And, i can't fight it.


Details | Lyric | |

At wit's end

My insomnia has worn me thin,
when I get out of bed I know not where to begin.

No purpose, no income, no motivation,
hence forth I am consumed by this damnation.

Ativan, Ambien to help cope,
where then is my self to hope?

Spontaneous anguish found in a drawer,
absorbing the pain from the past in horror.

There is but one person who gives me peace,
I can speak from what little I have left from my soul to her, 
as all my anguish seems to cease.

There is so much more that I want from her,
yet cherish the friendship, all my feelings transfer.

I feel lost in these long hours of darkness,
At wit's end, sipping bourbon, my misery becoming noxious.


Details | Lyric | |

Every Day and Every Night

At times things we cant explain, happen again and again,
Good or bad it just happens, it happens.
Every day and every night, I've gotta wonder why,
I cant see.. some of my family.
Sometimes we cant be, apart of lives that we used to be apart of.
It's harder on some, they try to stay strong...
Try not to show it cuz they been scared all along.
We go through it at different times,
It effects a lot of stages of our lives.
At times things we cant explain, happen again and again,
Good or bad it just happens, Oh it just happens.
Every day and every night, I've gotta wonder why,
I cant see.. some of my family.
Sometimes we cant be, apart of lives that we used to be apart of.


Details | Lyric | |

Cloudless Skies

Cloudless Skies
By Kevin Robey
March 23, 2014

I've tried to live life the way they want me to
But I was falling behind, I was losing my mind

I've tried to show you the way I really am
But I'm so far out of line, now I'm just flying blind

I've tried to grab those sweaters by the thread
But I was losing my grip, I just fell off the edge

I've tried to hide all the blood I ever shed
But they stitched up my wounds, told me I should be dead

Is this the life I've been fighting for?
It doesn't seem that beautiful to me
Am I wrong to ask for something more?
Still chasing shreds of my sanity

I made a promise back when I was young
But I forgot who I was, I abandoned my way

I made a promise back when I was strong
But it wasn't enough, my foundation decayed 

I made some plans that I just gave away
But I thought I would die before I woke up today

I made some plans that never stood a chance 
But I had brighter eyes, bluer than cloudless skies

Where is the life I've been searching for?
All the things I ever thought it could be
Is there still time to find something more?
With open doors I'm still searching for a key

[listening to "ask yourself", by Foster the People]


Details | Lyric | |

Gethsemane

Heavens! I have been 

  in fear of my life,

Such worried times,

  days and nights of strife,

Though back then

  I thought myself more than strong,

Now I'm afraid that

  I've gone all wrong,

Something about what

  I've done, how I spend,

And it's somewhere

  in my impending end,

This is my terror

  that's all too mortal,

But, the man Jesus

  made it our portal.



Covering the ground,

  still scared of the cost

To the Way,

  the Paradise of plen'y.

God alone knows

  how I've been lost,

Guessing in m'own

  Gethsemane.



Others so senseless,

  easy deep in sleep,

A loneliness enough

  to make me weep.

Agony screams:

"Awake! Awake! Awake!"

Yet silence leaves me

  alone for God's sake;

It's more than some turned soil,

  some earth-y hurt,

It's more than

 another plot of dirt,

And like my eyes,

  my cup runs over-spilt,

With this fear, sorrow,

  agony, and guilt.



Fortune means little,

  Either spent or tossed,

As silver's worth's

  less than a penny.

God alone knows

  how I've been lost,

Guessing in m'own

  Gethsemane.



I have known such a

  heaviness of heart,

A lead-ness near 'nough

  to drag me apart:

On my knees, down,

  borne down in the garden,

Not solely sin,

  but ev'rything's burden...

No matter how I prayed

  to heave it out,

It was then I learned

  of dread, learned of doubt

As certain as the

  dead-weight white of woe,

Still, it pales against Christ's

  night of sorrow.



Accepting someday each

  "t" must get crossed,

All I see's the trees,

  so dense, so many.

God alone knows

  how I've been lost,

Guessing in m'own

  Gethsemane.




Details | Verse | |

As I lay Here

as I lay here dying 
my life is flashing before
my eyes and all I 
see is pain and misery
what did i do wrong 
to deserve this type 
of death bleeding 
with no end in sight

as i lay dying 
as i lay dying 
there is no one here 
to say my last words to
as i lay dying
as i lay dying 
why do i have to 
endure all of this agony

as i lay here dying 
its starting to get 
colder with every passing 
hour now its minutes
its starting to get 
darker around the 
edges and will i finally leave
this vile and revolting world

as i lay dying 
as i lay dying 
there is no one here 
to say my last words to
as i lay dying
as i lay dying 
why do i have to 
endure all of this agony

even if i leave this 
world what will others 
remember about me will 
they remember me at all 
will they realize that 
i have done so much 
in my short life to 
help others through pain

as i lay dying 
as i lay dying 
there is no one here 
to say my last words to
as i lay dying
as i lay dying 
why do i have to 
endure all of this agony


Details | Lyric | |

Wrong

This poem i am writing is about people i know. they have told me all the wrong things they are doing in life. all the things they have done to be in love or even find love.
Josh~i have a second life one in real life one on the computer
Susan~i cry to my poster of james hetfield begging him to find a guy for me
Jassun~i cut myself every night because i feel unloved my family doesnt get me
Chelsea~i take pills and try to overdose because i cant feel my heart beating i just want to know that im alive.
Ron~i constantly call another woman and have phone sex when my wife isnt home
Carrie~i boss people around just so i can feel like im on top above everyone else
Brad~im gay and people dont get the fact that love is love no matter if its with a guy or woman.
Sheryl~my husband passed recently and i already found someone on Eharmony
Me~sometimes i fake who i am so people wont judge me... sometimes i feel like im not good enough so i try to be like everyone so i can feel like im apart of something. but recently i figured out that people love you no matter who you are. there are some people out there who will doubt you and who will hurt you. but thats life even love can hurt the strongest of people.


Details | Lyric | |

Land of Lost Toys

I know im not the best for you 
but promise that 
youll stay then ill be fine and 
my problems will 
fade away the sky will turn 
blue not the color of 
grey but today ill pray that the 
words you say will 
send me away to the land of 
lost toys where we 
will meet with all the lost girls 
and boys


Details | Lyric | |

Spark

Letters scrawled for broken brains
The charge of the heart won't spark it
So move it
feel it
So kill it
feed it

Repetition creates disaster
Reposition and spark the flower
Repetition creates disaster
Resolution follows after

Closer now to the urge
Sinking and flying do resurge
Brainwaves ate the purge
Don't forget
Don't submerge

Resolution from the plaster
Repetition creates disaster
Reposition and spark the flower
Repetition kills them after


Details | Lyric | |

Where's the color in the black and white

Dedicated to my friend Jordan

Things always seem to fade
Fade into the grey
And it makes me wonder
Where is the color
In this world of black and white
Where is the color
It makes me wonder

You say I’m ignorant 
For what I believe
There can’t be a God
In all the bullsh** lies
But what if
Just think of this
There’s a bigger plan than what you
See

So many questions
Go unanswered 
So many things go unsaid
We go through these motions
Never questioning what we see
While there’s scars on our wrists
There’s a devil on my shoulder
Whispering to me
Reminding me of the pain inside
This life’s a battle
We search for the angel 
On the other side
But the demon screams
You are nothing

You say I’m ignorant 
For what I believe
There can’t be a God
In all the bullsh** lies
But what if
Just think of this
There’s a bigger plan than what you
See

I refuse to believe
That there’s nothing after this
We go through this life
Fighting to survive
There must be a point to this
I know I’m human
And I know I’ll always fail
Though I give it my best
I know I need His grace
If I’ll make it to another night

You say I’m ignorant 
For what I believe
There can’t be a God
In all the bullsh** lies
But what if
Just think of this
There’s a bigger plan than what you
See

His grace he freely gives
His blood was spilt for me
I still wonder why
Cause I knew I deserved to die
I will give you my heart
And all you ask of me
Cause I know home is in front of me
My mansion up in the skies
Heaven’s gates are opened wide

You say I’m ignorant 
For what I believe
There can’t be a God
In all the bullsh** lies

You say I’ll do my best
To get great and famous
Be loved by so many
Become a memory
But then you die
What next?


Details | Free verse | |

Sugar Sick Sweet Lullabies

I had this dream last night and it was perfect 
It was everything I wanted my life to seem
So when I opened my eyes to this bright sunlight
I realized some things weren't the way that they should be

I put my feet into my shoes, which are old and dusty and 
I don't remember when they were ever clean
I ran around my town asking people for my purpose
And none of their answers seemed to fit alright

Come keep me at bay
Cause the world's spitting us all out one by one
And we've all sinned enough to know that we're gonna die someday

I've tried to be myself but I'm running low on health
To fight all those who tell me to be a certain way
Though I don't cry out my eyes every time that a stitch undoes itself
Cause nobody's gonna save you when can save yourself, darling

Even at a quarter after noon mothers are singing their babies 
Sugar sick sweet lullabies that I know all too well
Haven't you ever noticed the way that their voices crack 
When the child forgets the words and the tune stays with them alone?

Come keep me at bay
Cause the world's spitting us all out one by one
And we've all sinned enough to know that we're gonna die someday


Details | Lyric | |

Just Smile

Just Smile
Written by D.W.Breidenthal

Just smile 
For a while...you have a # to dial
I'll clear out your pile...I'll fly with you above the cemented tile
Unto the bright blue sky...

Everything's gonna be just fine
You have a special place in this heart of mine
Just smile 
Just keeping trying x3
With all your remaining might
I'll help you discover God's light 
In no time, we'll get through the callous night
Just smile
Everything's gonna be alright 
Just smile
Paste a smile on your once frowning face
And have a positive, healthy mindset, oh buddy
Just smile,
No need for weeping...
no more sorrow...wait for tomorrow
And we'll receive perpetual delight
In no time, we'll get through the callous night
Just smile one more time (last time)
It's not crime
To smile just this time 
Just smile once more
Before you shut the front door
Just smile 
Embrace a positive mindset 
Just smile
And I'll get you out of the net
And pay up all your debt

Just smile once more
There's more hope in store, I'm pretty sure...I'm absolutely sure...I'm positively sure of it...

in no time, we'll be set free from captivity 
My feet are soaking wet
But they'll dry out I bet
So don't be upset
Just smile
And forget the regret
Of rising debt 

Just smile
And I'll disentangle you out of the lament net
And pay up all your debt


Details | Lyric | |

Turn away

v1-
every time you  turn away my heart it crumbles like a cake its unlike anything
loving you it hurts so damn bad it makes me feel so ****ing sad ,so ****ing sad
why cant you just be here with me it hurts me  just to even see ,to even see
you with another man thats not me cause id like to be the one you see ,the one you see
chorus-
cuz its a battle of the best a never ending ****ing test
and i cant give you up on you
this love is so ****ing crazy its makin me so ****ing hazey
but i wont give up on you 
v2-
and still you say you love me to but how can it be ****ing true
when all you want is everything and all I want is you
your smile stays within my heart when ever we're apart ,when ever we're apart
now at last i’ve found you come so fast arms around you now I’ve found a love to last
chorus-
but its a battle of the best a never ending ****ing test
and i cant give you up on you
this love is so ****ing crazy its makin me so ****ing hazey
but i wont give up on you 


Details | Lyric | |

Hanley

If I ever mock upon thoughts of a tie,
And if it ever it loosens, then I might deny
That every day were as great as the next
And every smile were dressed to impress.

I saw him last night in his pajamas,
Pining over drunken summers
Saying it's alright.
Well, it's not right
To call me up and ask for something
I can't give - I told him one thing -
It's alright;
Don't kill tonight,

As he sang:
Laura Lye,
Sweet Laura Lye,
Queen of Jameson,
Quervo dragon
Laura Lye,
Sweet Laura Lye
Won't you please pour a drink
For me.

With a tee and jeans he wears a tie,
passing on another lie
For my sense.
He prevents
My resistance toward nothing -
does nothing for nothing
In silence -
Immobile violence.

Now I'm singing:
Laura Lye,
Sweet Laura Lye,
Queen of James on
Drunken liaison.
Laura Lye,
Sweet Laura Lye
Won't you please kick James' ass
For me.

You know, I hate prying
But I think angels are dying
In sequence.
In confidence,
I excite the river's bend
When I think things are coming to an end.
I can't prevent

My Laura Lye.
Sweet Laura Lye,
I am dragging
My own sense of stagg'ring.
Laura Lye,
Sweet Laura Lye,
Won't you please just say something
To me.


Details | Lyric | |

Canvas

Walking up the stairs
She lays on the floor
He runs
Holding her cold body in his arms
He lets a tear fall from his eye
Dragging her down the stairs and into the cellar
He lays her on the canvas they painted on the floor
He spreads her arms and legs out
Pointing them the direction of North, South, West and East
He places four candles around the circle
Lighting them with his lighter
He sits and watches as he pours the hot wax on her face
He cuts around her eyes, slowly taking her eyes out
Gluing her eye lids shut covering them with the wax once again
He cuts her up in pieces
Scattering her in art forms
Admiring her beauty
He places her eyes in a glass jar
Wrapping her hands around a picture frame
He places her face on his ... as a mask
Gluing her face unto his
He lays on the canvas that is now covered in blood
He moves around 
His clothes covered in her blood
He watches through her eyes
The world she once saw
He places her face back on the canvas
He shuts off all the lights and walks up the stairs
Looking in the bathroom he saw the drug she has been taking
He cuts it up and sniffs it
He lays on the floor shaking
Crawling down the stairs to the cellar door
Trying to move but he cant move any further
His heart stops beating but hes still alive
The minute he had left
He opened the door
And rolled down the cellar stairs
Landing on the canvas
His face next to hers

"How its hurts now that your gone
Its so wrong"


Details | Free verse | |

Unread Questions

I want to be brave
I can't trail on...when you're gone (2)
Why are you gone?

Hey, I can't save...you from the sorrow - I can save you from the grave
Do you want me to grieve for you?
I can't hold on...when I have no hope - we must wait till the dawn
Where are they going?
Where have they gone? 
Why is this frustration growing? ooh...
Why’s the wind whispering in my ears?
How could I face my fears?

(ooh ooh) 
Do you want to be brave?
Do I have the ability to be brave?
You’re fighting back the tears…
I’m bottling up the fears
Why?
Why do you want this love to end up in the grave?
You’re regretting everything…
Why are you hard on yourself? 
I’m trying to forget that one thing…
Is it my fault your acting so strange?
Is it my fault that we have the problems spreading like cancer? 
Is it Satan's fault?
(Oooh… oooh…)

I want to be happy
Why aren't you happy?
I can’t feel my feet…when I feel so incomplete… (2)
Why do I feel this horrid feeling?
Hey now – I can’t hold you all throughout the night…I can’t set you free
I have my insecurities…I sometimes hope you’re doing great…it’s a treat
To finally know where you’re going…
But I still store up unanswered questions
They pass my train of thought
And then I fight it all away, but all for naught
What's the meaning of life?

I don't have the answers...
Do I search for clues?

The wind leaves my heart to beat… it’s still blowing…
Why’s your voice ringing in my head?
How could I go to bed?    

These questions
Are left on your desk like debt
Pay attention!! 
Are you answering my questions yet?

You're reply is naught......................
....................
............. 




Where have you gone now?


Details | Lyric | |

Broken worth

...Since i desire you 
in ma life....i desire 
war at times....i see 
beauty in gazing at 
you....i found value 
living to watch 
you....i experience 
love every moment 
beside you...i define 
worth from every 
single smile at me 
from you.....a hug 
from you worth 
me full happiness....i 
never live a day 
outside what we 
both share in 
common(the 
redefined lost)....i 
wished you never 
left me....i wished 
your abscent never 
hurts me.....i wished 
your tears never 
never sceared ma 
fears.....i wished we 
both could forgive 
our ego and pride 
and lust....i wished i 
never experience 
love from nobody 
but you.....i wished 
you never stoped 
the songs that 
gives ma soul the 
happiest moment 
of time.......i need 
you in ma life....i 
need you to ocupy 
ma time.....i need 
you to give me 
dejavu......i need you 
to make me feel 
renewed.....i need 
you to keep ma 
space from being 
empty of 
persion,pride,beauty 
love......i need you to 
make me feel like a 
man,sincerly your 
abscent is the 
incomplete part of 
ma life.I lost you i lost the 
world....Beside you no-one 
deserve ma words....your 
impact in ma life makes me 
knot....ALASS!!!


Details | Lyric | |

Don't Let This End

End is where it just begins. It's where Alice fell, And her story began, When she fell in. The beginining is the end. I thought you were my friend. My bones aren't for you to bend. This party isn't the one for me to attend. But please, Don't let this end. I'm too secure, To go back again. Back to all, The torture in, My home, My house, My life. Don't let this end. Please don't send me back again. Love isn't all that fun, When you have to keep run, Running away from yourself, Running away from your life which is a living... Dreamers can't dream themselves. Dreams turn to nightmares. Love turns to hate. Hate doesn't turn into someone who cares. But please, Don't let this end. I'm too secure, To go back again. Back to all, The torture in, My home, My house, My life. Don't let this end. Please don't send me back again. You sent me back, To a place of dread, To a place that will get inside my head. Confusion is inside of me. And they won't even let me dream. But please, (But please) Don't let this end. (Don't let this end) I'm too secure, (Insecure) To go back again. (But please) Back to all, (But please) The torture in, (Don't let this end) My home, (Take me away) My house, (Take me away) My life. (Please take me away) Don't let this end. (Please don't) Please don't send me back again. (Don't let this end) Background singers, Dreamers, Believers, Hate.


Details | Lyric | |

Alone

~ Alone ~

Like a deep black hole
No one around
Running on empty
I feel so 

~Alone ~

A sadness so deep
I sometimes wonder if it will ever go away
People come and people go 
When it is all said and done 
I still feel 

~ Alone ~

So many who care 
I wish they wouldn’t
So many want to help
Yet they don’t know how
So they just give up 
Leaving me all 

~ Alone ~

Falling, falling 
That hole is swallowing me up
I wish I could find my voice
Maybe then I could scream
I can feel the tears pooling in my eyes
I can hear a voice in my head saying
Don’t you dare cry you little tramp
You don’t deserve even the right to cry 
All you deserve is to die
Then silence and again I am 

~ Alone ~

I reach out 
I don’t know what for just something
Anything to hold on to 
Something to stop my fall 
I can’t find anything 
So there I go 
I just keep falling 
Then all the sudden 
I hear a sound 
Oh yeah it is my phone ringing 
And as I pick it up 
And start to talk I feel myself 
Stop 
I am no longer falling 
I am no longer 

~ Alone ~






Details | Lyric | |

Knight

Like the girl with golden hair
awaiting her fateful kiss
you came from outta nowhere
my knight, my graceful prince
My hand you hold my heart you took
like the fairy tale told in that story book

Happily ever after
was on that last page
this girl that you captured
became a puppet on your stage

This Knight that you promised
turned black by day
This soul slowly vanished
and life began to fade

Happily ever after
was on that last page
this girl that you captured
became a puppet on your stage

My hand you hold, my heart you took like the fairy tale told in that story book
my hand you hold, my heart you took my tears fall cold with one last look

Happily ever after
was on that last page
this girl that you captured
became a puppet on your stage


Details | Lyric | |

Sunrise

Look at the black sky
Endless no matter how high
A single white string comes into view
It appeared out of the blue
This mystical string began to divide
White and black, opposites collide
To the struggle, there will be one victor
Survive this natural cluster
The holy white light wins the fight
Pummels the evil darkness out of sight
The sky comes back to life
A consequence of the previous strife
Its savior slowly comes into view
Glowing brilliantly, as the wind blew
The closer he got, the more it breathed
The hero won, his sword, he sheathed
Guiding everyone with his light
Shining on everything in sight
Watch the sun yellow and strong
Its rays fierce and long
Look at it floating so high
Mastering the vast sky
I stand dazzled by the majestic scene
It’s so beautiful and serene
Light fills the land
Except the point where I stand
There is a darkness in me
From it, I can't seem to break free
I'm trapped in my own demise
Waiting for a miracle, my internal sunrise


Details | Lyric | |

Dried and Browned

Together they fall and plunder,
Piling on in weightless wonder. 
The leaves and trees are far from what I fathomed--
Dried and browned in mortal sarcasm. 

Cold in warmth and warmth in rain;
Washing away the frozen stains.
Barren soil bears a fruitless yield
Dried and browned in the snowy fields.


Details | Lyric | |

Deveined

It all started with an ember
A tiny whisper, a slow fire
The beginning blaze
Of just one gaze 
Would leave me forever changed

Started off so good
You stood by me so long
So fatefully fingered 
Such a calloused little angler
You've become 

And so my power wanes but you don't care
Leave the growing stains from the wounds you make
Eating out my hollowed remains
And pouring out all I've restrained
Not pleading doubt
I'm bleeding now
Can't stand this drain
Just void and deveined

What once was right
Is a fight, is a curse
The screaming abuse
And a shortened fuse
Is all we have to lose

Ended up so bad
You've left me now so fast
So fatally handled
Blistered and battled
You are

And so my power wanes, you just don't care
Leave the growing stains from your piercing hate
Carving out my hollowed remains
And raining out all I've restrained
My pleading shout
I'm just bleeding out
Can't stand this drain
Just void and deveined

Can't stand this drain
You've left me insane
I'm void and deveined


Details | Blank verse | |

Anthem of the Broken

A promise whispered so sweetly,Who could 
have ever known? Slowly, I let go of the past 
For you. Let go of everything and started anew. 
Unfortunately, our first kiss wasn't your last.

You took my hand and taught me how to be 
Human, but every promise you had ever spoken
Was a lie, so cleverly disguised. Now, I know the truth.
Forever, this will be the Anthem of the Broken.

I never thought you'd end  up playing this game.
Those walls I put up, they came down for only you.
I'm alone, you're gone. But I can't help to remember 
How it used to be. Remember the man I once knew.

You took my hand and taught me how to be 
Human, but every promise you had ever spoken
Was a lie, so cleverly disguised. Now, I know the truth.
Forever, this will be the Anthem of the Broken.

Forever, this will be,
This will be,
The anthem of the Broken.

Nothing can change the past, nothing will bring you back.
This heart's just been broken too many times before.
So many scars and so many stitches tell the story of who
I was. I only want to be able to walk away from this affair. 
 
You took my hand and taught me how to be 
Human, but every promise you had ever spoken
Was a lie, so cleverly disguised. Now, I know the truth.
Forever, this will be the Anthem of the Broken.

Forever, the anthem of the broken.

I watched you walk away, watched you move on like we 
Never happened. You never looked back, never gave me a chance
 Just kept walking, Didn't know What to think, 
Couldn't understand why I fell for your lies, why I agreed to this romance.

You took my hand and taught me how to be 
Human, but every promise you had ever spoken
Was a lie, so cleverly disguised. Now, I know the truth.
Forever, this will be the Anthem of the Broken.

Oh, Broken into tiny pieces, so small and delicate.
It hurts me more than you'll ever know to pick 
them up. tiny pieces of glass cut my hands as I work, 
Trying to repair my heart, why did I have to love you, dick?

Now I know the truth, Now I can see through your lies, Saw how 
Every promise you made was fake as soon as it was spoken.
Here I go, standing in a wasteland, watching you leave
And softly signing the anthem of the broken.


Details | Lyric | |

The Temple

Awash in darkness and disguise
Mistaken for light in my denial
The truth a fiction in my eyes
Refracting dispassion as I lie

The thousand eyes that gaze into
This broken mess I took from youth
I claim a shell crafted by you
The thousand hands that ran me through

Now twisted, poisoned and possessed
I’m half a demon, half obsessed
With overcoming all regrets
I want to climb beyond myself

In my convoluted disrepair
I am between love and despair
I only wish to one day share
The self that vanished when I got scared

Now host to darkness and the light
At constant battle through these nights
My dreams will grant these creatures sight
But in duality I realise

Without the light I would not see
That without darkness I’d not breathe
And through this war I will conceive
The strongest self through clarity

These tools of war are now my own
A balanced self has finally grown
The Angel vigilant and known
The Demon, tamed, now guards this home


Details | Lyric | |

Fear of Free falling

Pounding against the shore
My heart beats 
Filling up my face, my hands, my cheeks with heat
Tears begin to role.
Tumbling down, like fireballs. 
Passionate …igniting, reviving as it goes
Why oh why! Am I at despair?
Vulnerable! Exposed! My heart stripped bare
An open book for you to read
Yet shaken up with despair I feel
The thunder of doubt begins to creep
Never have I embarked on this before
Yet unknowingly, deep down I yearn! I crave for more
A sea of contemplation, an abyss of hazy expectations
Pounding against the shore my heart beats
Filling my face, my cheeks, my hands…
As you go, with heat
Rising me to utmost crest 
Elevating higher then Mount Everest
Loving you more all the way
But yet! I dare not undrape my sentiments
For you, like others might not cradle them
For fear of freefalling
Yet….i hear your heart shrieking out my name 
Half shocked, half heart, I am to blame.


Details | Lyric | |

A Melancholic Blaze

The wolves race through the woods...
A melancholic night breathing...
The moon weeping its elegant light...
 As I drown in the lake of uncertainty...

A prodigious night...
Procreating melancholy...
A deceiver at command...
Portraying images of the divine...

The nature decaying to the bizarre setting...
As the wolves howl at the night’s mystical descend...
And as my heart cries a disheartening reverie...
The river turns venomous at the cheerless call...

The wolves pursue the divine call...
The eerie wind deceives their ears...
Far ahead I see a shadow of the pure...
But as I approach...the shadow is razed by the prevalent obscurity...

The winter birds seem to be early...
Nesting in the putrefied tree...
The venomous river appears frozen...
As a chilling breeze stings the heart...

A prodigious night...
Procreating melancholy...
A deceiver at command...
Portraying images of the divine...

The last few hopes seem to deaden...
As a cloud seems to darken the elegant moon...
And the heart craves for her warmth...
As the flowers anticipate the monsoon...

Why is it that her radiant shadows appear?
When illumination ceases to exist...
A bird rests on my shoulder...
And sings mantras of eternal hope...
An assurance of support... 
And guidance...as the melancholic night descends...

The wolves howl to the infinite sky...
...And the lamentation of a lost soul...
Overpowered by their howls...
As the melancholic fire burns on...

The lamentation of a lost soul...
Forever lost...

...And as I close my eyes...
The setting transforms to “heaven”
Where flowers are vivacious...
...And nature rejoicing the start of spring...
...As I lay in her arms...
The panorama vivid as ever...

A panorama...
That subsists within the broken heart...
And a last few dead branches...
The winter bird collects to complete its nest...

And now all is at rest...
Silence is what subsists eternally...
The lamentation of a torn heart
Ever so callous...

...As he putrefies eternally...
...In a Melancholic Blaze...


Details | Lyric | |

Disapear

Dont follow me
I am the thing that should not be
Nothing left to see
How could you blame me?
I got kicked out of school
Im nothing but a failed soul
Waste of life
Killin myself with every type of knife
I chose the wrong path
Couldnt find my other half
Soon i will disapear
Nothing... 
im not going to share
You dont not care
Im not telling you what you want to hear
These ending days youll live in fear
You dont like the things i wear
Falling into more dispare
Into the skies
Further into the stars
You will see
12-12-12
My ending is here






Details | Lyric | |

Until My Ticker Expires

Work seven till five - to stay off the street.

When I do overtime  - come home dead on my feet.

Seems month after month - can afford less to eat.

When they raise my rent -  could be out on the street.

 

My car’s fairly new;  got a decent TV.

My home has a view.  The bank owns them, not me.

I went back to school, got another degree.

Still work like a fool - cause of the ‘conomy.

 

Ain’t yet had a raise - since the day I was hired.

Each check buys me less.  Cost-of-living gets higher.

My one biggest fear’s - that I’ll never retire.

I’ll be working somewhere - ‘til my ticker expires.
 

Ain’t yet had a raise. Come home dead on my feet.

Each check buys me less - Can afford less to eat.

My one biggest fear,  since the day I was hired:

I’ll be doin’ overtime  - until my ticker expires.


Details | Free verse | |

GIVE ME

I want to make sure I’m not falling on my face...
And I`m willing to go the distance
And I want to bring back good memories...
I want to make sure
You`re safe and you`re in a safe place

But GIVE ME some space
Sometimes, I wake up...feeling so distressed
But GIVE ME your sweet grace
And we'll beat the race...and this pain we share will not be addressed

I don't want to be unsure - am I the one losing the race?
And I'm chilling in this heavenly place
And I need to trade you my apologies…
I don’t want to waste your time
You’re absolutely safe…as long as you keep pace 


Details | Lyric | |

Have Courage

Keep fighting with your might; I will see you, shining tonight,
My little starlight...don't be defeated by depression by your delayed flight 
You shattered my hopelessness and doused me with delight
When will you take flight, you angel of love, burning so bright?

Believe in yourself
Don't place me in the far left shelf
Believe in me...please...
Put my mind at...ease...
Have courage...
Behave and be brave

I wish you well 
You're a heaven, not a hell
Where do you dwell now?
You make my heart pound somehow

Believe in yourself
Don't place me in the far left shelf
Believe in me...please...
Put my mind at...ease...
Have courage...
Behave and be brave

Have no inner rage...you're a red, white and blue robin in a cage
be compassionate and gentle...
Even though we're on a different page...we should've been on the same page
You're beautiful and little...

Believe in yourself
Don't place me in the far left shelf
Believe in me...please...
Put my mind at...ease...
Have courage...
Behave and be brave

Don't squander my time
I'm the poet, needing more time to rhyme
I can't conquer this feeling of anxiety,
Succumbing to suicidal ideations...kissing fatality...
But, there's hope in mind...I'm sorry, I'm not your kind
There's more courage inside, but there's a monster, dying to come out...and I'm coming along with the ride
But I can't let go of you, for I've been left behind
Only to find your shadows and I have nowhere to hide


Details | Lyric | |

26 Stitches

26 stitches is my life. Hardly got a family and no room for a wife. Don't ask questions that you don't want to know. I have already buried myself but where he only knows. Afraid of the consequences but to numb to change. I might open the book but I'm too afraid to turn the page. Tomorrow is another day but to me it never changes. Stuck in this Groundhog Day... Just another 26 stitches. I don't know why they stand beside me. It must be love. But since I lost my brother self-loathing has become my crutch. 26 stitches are how i live my life. The only one who can intervene has since taken his own life. 26 stitches i will forever be. I will see you in heaven, hell or somewhere in between.


Details | Lyric | |

Demolition Lovers

"This time we will show them all how much we mean"

Walking into the school
Short blonde hair
Stunning blue eyes
Wearing make up on his face
The paint on his face
Is a skilled drawing of a skull
As he passes
Everyone starres
He keeps walking foreward
Not looking at them

She enters through the other end of the hallway
Long blonde hair
Deep brown eyes
Also wearing makeup on her face
A skilled drawing of a smaller skull
All the girls she passes
Starre at her
Wondering what kind of girl would 
Wear makeup like that

The Boy and the girl
Meet in the middle of the hallway
They hold eachothers hands
And continue down the hallway

Seeing them from behind
You read on his backpack
"I gave you my bullets..."
And on her bag you can see
"And i gave you my love"
They walk out of the school together
All the teachers starring
All the students watching there every move
They walk straight out to his car
A black Mustaine 1998
Before they get to the bridge 
He ties there hands together

They drive 10 miles
To a bridge
Theres a hill
A bridge
And a river
Hes going 90 mph
She clinches his hand
He looks at her with a smile on his face
She looks back at him pale as a ghost
The car jumps over the bridge into the river
The lovers dying on empact
Forever tied together by
The rope he tied earlier

Like a bed of roses
Theres alot of reasons
Why we are laying here
As we are falling down into
The pool of blood
I see your eyes
I mean this when I say forever.


Details | Lyric | |

Pure

My cigarette smoke fills my lungs
with lust and anger
making me feel more like a stranger

If only I could put it out like a
blazing fire
In return I'll be pure
for that's my heart's desire.


Details | Lyric | |

Sea of Tears

My eyes are gazed on the floor
The shadows are lying down my way
Step by step I feel the years blow
In a trail we must not lay

Avoid all the passion
Looking for someone down the trail
The sea of tears blocking my possession
No ship or love to sail

I can still feel her crying
As the world I felt so strong
Is now out of my designing
As it was for so long

Drowning in my way
I can still feel the pain
I cannot save myself, no place to lay
And for the world, my pain is in vain

I can still feel her crying
And I cannot help myself from drowning
In a salty, banned feeling’s sea
Whose feelings come from me

None hear my desperate calling
As my life is going down the current
And only I can save myself from dying
The sea of tears won’t end

See the sadness in her eyes 
Drops of sea are coming from those eyes
Avoid all the passion to save herself
Spirits of feelings that still live and kill as well

But if you want to go sailing again
First you have to learn how to save yourself
And if you want the sun to dry the creepiest sea
Than you must teach yourself how to save me


Details | Lyric | |

Letter From A Friend

Dear Friend
Why you wondering where we stand? 
Me and you are tighter
Then the ying yang we make with our hands
I know we’re far apart
But a call brings us back together
No matter the hour of the day
And no matter the type of weather forever
But I’m glad
You came to me first
Each time I read your letter
It hurts me even worse
Because I see us more than friends
We’re bothers in the Lord
So if you are hurting
Then I am hurting even more
You can always count on me
When your world is going wrong
I will never turn my back on you
Even if my back is against the wall
And I know it’s not easy to tell our moms
When it’s hard for us to stand
What do they know about military life? 
Or the struggle for a military man? 
Don’t be shy
Because there’s something we all do fear
If I had the chance to switch services
You know I’ll be right there
And I am not brave
I wanna be the friend you can lean on
you said I can calm you down
well I also wanna keep you Army strong
death isn’t nothing
but the devil getting to you
keep believing in God
he will give a path to make it through dude
jus so you know
I’m here I’m always around
you’ve been trained good
so take a step back and calm down
and when you come home
we’re going to party like when we was kids
and laugh at all the stupid things
we ever did
keep your head up
because this is where it has to end
yours truly P.S.
you’re my number one friend


Details | Lyric | |

Someday

“Someday”
Why is “someday” such a sad word?
When one like “never” is so much worse?
Why....why “someday”?

“Someday!”
Why is “someday” such a sad, sad word?
Perhaps the saddest one I’ve ever heard...
Why “someday”?

Everybody
has somebody
Except me, it seems
but that's not why I want to leave

So out of it
feel “out of it”
Never was in
can't find the way 

"Life’s one big bluff
Keep a straight face
Don’t let ‘em see your cards."

Yeah, life’s one big God-forsaken bluff
and I’m about to jump off

Someday, I thought you’d find me
Someday, I thought you’d love me
But someday ....
...someday......
someday NEVER CAME

“Someday,” they say, “You’ll find somebody.”
“Someday, you will be happy.”
“Someday, life will mean something.”
But someday I'll be SICK of waiting

Someday, you’ll see why it can’t be
Someday we’ll ALL be sorry
One day
sweet day
I’ll find my way 
out of this body.

http://vimeo.com/26557410


Details | Lyric | |

This is Goodbye

Somebody told me that you’re happy
That you’re moving right along
That you’re planning for the future
But I think they’ve got it wrong.
You’ve got everyone thinking
That you’re smitten and in love
They think you’ve gotten really lucky
Have everything that you’ve dreamed of…

But I know better, don’t I?
I can see it in your eyes
I see your halfhearted smiles,
I could spot them for miles
And I can sense the subtle lies
I know you better than the rest do
But I can’t save you, I can’t rescue -
You from your own disguise
So I guess this is goodbye now
Goodbye now
Good…bye

I heard she’s fond of metal’s sharpness
That she’s carving both your ways
But she’s cut more than herself
She cut you and everyone else
Who cared about you at one time
And you just let her do it
Let her twist her grips inside
So I guess you’re guilty too
You can’t hide the ugly truth
So I guess this is goodbye

So tell your lies

But I know better, don’t I?
I can see it in your eyes
I see your halfhearted smiles,
I could spot them for miles
And I can sense the subtle lies
I know you better than the rest do
But I can’t save you, I can’t rescue -
You from your own disguise
So I guess this is goodbye now

I guess this is goodbye now
Good…bye


Details | Lyric | |

L'appel du Vide

Ostracized on the
outskirts of reality.
Trying to blur the lines
and connect the dots
To make myself complete.
Clinging to a broken dream
and searching for an answer,
The void is calling.
Wasted,
a soulless husk
incapable of being.
I played the game
and lost it.
I fought a war
and failed.


Details | Lyric | |

Breaking down

I’m breaking down.

What does one do, oh lordy, if I knew
It’s breaking my poor mind, I’m telling you
My nerves on edge, I grit my teeth
What does it take to find relief
It breaks my heart apart, it really do

Tears and angry words flow all around
Those bad vibrations, making so much sound
The anger starts, oh where’s my heart?
It’s ripping my poor life apart
Oh, lord what makes these crazy feelings start

There’s yelling, screaming  everywhere
It’s killing me, don’t know one care?
And that old crazy farm is waiting there.

If I should cure myself I surely would
Who really knows, it maybe that I could
I’ve read the books, or most of them
By Gurus, shrinks and wise old men
Hey, maybe I’m just crazy, I don’t know.


Details | Lyric | |

The Nocturnal Curse

We will meet again 
Like thousand times before 
Beauty and her ugly beast . 
Mincing morning smile , 
Involved in our prolonged , repeated , possible conversation
Running away from the spears of direct feelings , 
Rambling in the emptiness of the day hours , till it get dizzy  
And pour its torturing , merciful departure on our heads . 
 
Destroyed .. I come back  
Like thousand times before  
To sink in my heavy darkness ; 
In mud ; like overwintering frogs , 
And see you in your incredible haze , 
Blasting , get higher gaily , out of the impossible limits of reason  
Till your eyes trammel in my eyes for a time 
Like thousand times before , 
And question passes in your mind , 
And your lips murmurs in baffler common-sensical 
A very very far answer . 
 
O my flower .. my beauty curse 
If you could only know what pain inside this mud ,
If you could only understand its heavy bearing and weakness 
If you saw your hands is fog , 
Your heart is fog , 
Your soul is fog . 
If you saw the night in your eyes a gate of a crushed city by thousand armies , 
And saw your little heart in the fallen streets distributed on the horses shoes and 
hawks beaks ; 
You would cry .. as I surely did . 
 
And fail .. like thousand times I failed 
To hang with a tiny , tiny smile .. 
In the meeting time . 
And leave .. like thousand times I left , 
Without your heart trembling and ask you to stay . 
And ramble .. Like thousand times I rambled , from the capture of the words , 
In our prolonged , repeated , possible conversation 
To dream of sleeping on my hands . 
 
O my beauty .. we will meet again 
Like thousand times .. we will meet again ; 
Beauty and her ugly beast . 
Mincing morning smile 
Involved in our prolonged , repeated , possible conversation .. 
Running away from the spears of direct feelings ; 
As a curse brought your heart down , 
From its incredible haze . 
As a curse brought my heart up , 
From its heavy mud . 
As a curse wondering every night by the evening 
Collecting the hearts from the horses shoes and hawks beaks , 
And give them .. some soul .


Details | Lyric | |

Again and Again

Again and again in a world 
dreaded I most. 
For unknown certainties tears apart 
the collated I. 

Again and again in a world 
Faith of him seemest to fall 
for unknown either like before 
in real past one. 

Again and again in a world 
death! Preferred? 
For unknown cruelties puzzle 
hearts in fixed making. 

Again and again in a world 
unfound easiness breath dizziness, 
stiff up queasiness so tempest 
on this total-fixed thing. 

Again and again in a world 
ball pen and pad sought 
penning down black and white 
though as custom, really? 

Again and again in a world 
dreaded as the sight of a chasing gargantuan cobra, 
for unknown certainties questioning 
the embittered fixed heart so badly. 


Details | I do not know? | |

For Bob Dylan

Ramblin' Bob Dylan Blues
(For Bob Dylan)



Why does the sun dry up so many scattered tears

slipping down the coarse cheek of a million hushed fears

where no one is scalded though the searing fog clears

while prayers are mutely spoken even as the end nears

We shatter and scrape on demented knees

Blindly begging for mercy as it silently flees

Searching listlessly for salvation drowned in the breeze

That spits at the soft rose suffocated by a wheeze


I know now what I need never have known

Of hope that was trampled before it had flown

Into a wasted sky filled with hate that could drown

The giggling of the crowd and the crying of the clown


A hope so fragile that its wings were of brittle glass

Ripping the veneer off the sewers of class

Twisting the fabric of the weighed and costed mass

Who numbly waited hoping that it too may pass


For when shards of that hope in all hearts scurries away

To a darkness where crowded night is emptied off the heaving tray

'Tis then when sewn eyes shall behold that doleful day

When all shall tear at each other while on demented knees we still shall pray


For a lifting of the veil of that wilful deceit

That's wrapped up in a flag swollen with conceit

While the limbs splinter in the claw of a winner's defeat

Yet still the drums roll for the ill-fated souls chose never to retreat


From that drenched battle-ground where blood flows through a sieve

And love's lost song plaintively begs for a reprieve

From eternal loss which into raw emotion does cleave

Only to slip through the fingers and like grains of sand, leave.


Details | Lyric | |

UNDONE

Every morning
Warning signs are there to greet me
Waking
Shaking
I don't dare to face it 
Fight it 
Try and right it 
Cuz it always turns out wrong

Every feeling 
Leaves me
Reeling from the fear of falling 
Calling
Calling out for you
I need you here...
To help me calm back down again

And I'm not the way I was 
When you first loved me
And I'm not the one 
I've tried so hard to be
And I'm not the one
To stand and try to tell you
That everything
Will be alright with me 

Cuz it's not ok
I won't be fine
This war I wage inside my mind
Feels like the whole wide world is closing in
And there's nowhere to run

No, it's not ok
I won't be fine 
I've been down one too many times
No way to hide it anymore
I've come undone

----------------------------------

Everyone I see 
Reflected in their eyes 
It's always me
Hiding from the way I feel inside
And longing for the way it's always been

Every night alone 
Sinking
As I slowly turn to stone
Terrified
I'm losing you, I see
I'll soon be on my own again

Cuz I'm not the one I was 
When you first loved me
And I'm not the one 
I've tried so hard to be
And I'm not one who can lie 
And try to tell you
That everything
Will be alright with me 

Cuz it's not ok
I won't be fine
This war is raging in my mind
Feels like world is closing in
And there is just nowhere to run

No, it's not ok
I won't be fine 
I've been here one too many times
It's time to face it on my own
I've come undone

...Jeff Bresee


Details | Concrete | |

Blurred Reflection

Mirror Your heart Shatters to shreds You splinter me Your reflection haunts me forever I reflect on you I don't wanna lose you I am snowed under by your rejection I don't wanna lose my head But, I love you forever You haunt me Your reflection... Tramples my infection Your heart Blurs


Details | Lyric | |

Indian burial ground

The Indian rounds the corner of the room
Seeing the sadness through the eyes of a girl
There are a lot of things about this world that we don't know 
the truth behind humanity the heartbeat of ones last breathe
or the pain one suffers mentally 

I don't even know if people can see the truth
Or if they shut themselves out of the real and into the fake
We all know the fakness of what a human can put off
We all know the sickness one stores inside their skull
Can we all see what's going on? this day I see some that are still blind
 some that are so blind they can not imagine! 

The things one can do
The things one may hide

A life filled with questioning
A life full of hate and despair 
A life of several lies
A life with no reason of existing

A series of depression
A time of regret
A worry of fear 

A fear of ourselves 

An unwritten book with no pen to write with

Voice of reason


Details | I do not know? | |

Trapped

A prisoner of darkness
Was all I could be.
Trapped and alone inside
Along a blackened sea
No one to hold me
To keep me alive
Completely abandoned
No reason to survive.

Then there was a light
Small but getting brighter
It drowned out the darkness
And made me a fighter. . .
Before i'd go with everything
And let them chain me down
Now I start to question them
I start to keep my ground.

Why should I let them stab me?
And see my blood run free
There's a reason that I need to live
To let myself be me.
No one holds me down
Without paying a price.
Why should they anger me
Then expect me to be nice?

I now... Have a beating heart
And a gleam in my eyes
Someone to kiss and hug me
And keep my soul alive.


Details | Lyric | |

Goodbye, My Almost Lover

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I don't want to think about you
Please, just let me be.
Goodbye, my heart of romance
Goodbye, my missing piece
Don't worry, hearts will heal with time and, 
Don't worry, cause you've set me free.
Goodbye, my dreams of future
Goodbye, my plans for life
I'm sorry to forget about you
Please, don't ask me why.
Goodbye, my loving hero
Goodbye, my army soldier
I'm trying not to think about it
Forget all that I've told you.
Goodbye, my ruined soul
Goodbye, my broken heart
I never want to think about you
I want us to be apart.
Goodbye, my distant memory
Goodbye, my aching love
Don't worry, I'll be fine without you
There's nothing left for you to hug.
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I don't want to think about you
Why can't you just let me be?


Details | Lyric | |

Run Away

Call the sickness out from under you,
Tell the people what is really true.
Know the pain that you all might feel,
But see the comfort in the truth revealed.

Run away, baby, run away.
Tell the world another day.
Run away, darling, run away.
Take a chance at another day.

Call the pain out from inside you,
Tell it all that you’re strong too.
Don’t let the sorrow come over you,
When you know that they’re with you too.

Run away, baby, run away.
Get away from this awful place.
Run away, darling, run away.
In the chance you’ll miss the pain.

Call the strength that dwells in you,
Tell it that, its time for truth.
Bring out your love that helps you through,
It’s time for you to be happy too.

Run away baby, run away.
Its easier if you leave this place.
Run away, darling, run away.
Lose yourself by it all again.

Call the lies out from that part of you,
Time for everyone to hear the truth.
Don’t let the fear control you,
When you know what you need to do.

Run away, baby, don’t run away.
It’s harder now if you stay.
But don’t run away...


Details | Lyric | |

Save Me

Drowning…
Drowning…can you save me? (save me…angel of light…)
I’ve been drowning…what about you? (when will you take flight?)
In my mind’s eye, 
I see you…and I stare in wonder
I’m waiting for your reply
To my screams…is it all in my head?

I hear your fascinating voice
But, it’s all in my head
I hear you calling for help
But, I hear my own dread…

Weighed down…
The world weighs me down…(save me…angel of light…)
I feel your touch and I feel so alive again…(when will you take flight?)
Because I see you…brought low by depression 
The thought of you
Makes me bleed out regret
I’m waiting for your reply
To my cries…of sadness and dread

I hear your fascinating voice
But, it’s all in my head
I hear you calling for help
But, I hear my own dread…

I’m terribly sorry
For causing you unbearable pain
I’m sorry…for everything I’ve done…
Nothing can save me from my fate…
My fate…to fly away from the spiraling world
I cherish the thought of you
Taking wing all over again…

I hear your fascinating voice
But, it’s all in my head
I hear you calling for help
But, I hear my own dread… 

I hear your soothing voice ring in my head…
But, nothing can stop me from my fate
My fate…to fly away from this wretched world…
This world of woe…makes me ache and hesitate…

I hear your fascinating voice
But, it’s all in my head
I hear you calling for help
But, I hear my own dread… 

I don’t understand the pain you feel
I’m so sorry…so sorry…
I don’t know what it’s like in your shoes
I’m full of misery,
But I still hear your voice,
Ringing in my head…
Saturating me with dread

I hear your fascinating voice
But, it’s all in my head
I hear you calling for help
But, I hear my own dread… 

I hear my own dread…I’m falling
Into a black hole…into deep misery
I hear your dread…I’m fading
And I can’t let go of past sorrow…
Your voice…draws me a picture of the dawn…
Your voice…draws me a picture of the sun…

I hear your fascinating voice
But, it’s all in my head
I hear you calling for help
But, I hear my own dread… 
It’s my time to live…and it’s your time to move on…
It’s my time to face my fate…and it’s your time to sing me to sleep
Stay with me until the dawn…
Stay here, dear
Have no fear…darling angel

I hear your fascinating voice
But, it’s all in my head
I hear you calling for help
But, I hear my dread instead…
Save me please…


Details | Lyric | |

TELL ME WHY

      TELL ME WHY
If what I've done is love too much
too deep, and far too strong,
and languished in loves bitter touch
that stays with me too long
what hope have I to end in me
this love, to let it die?
When I know it will always be
but can not tell you why.

To hide it or to let it show
decisions of the heart,
when you've already seen and know
and did right from the start.
If all I've had is too much pain
whenever you are near
and let it show time and again
love that won't disappear
what hope have I of ending it?
Does real love ever die?
And so I let it show a bit
but cannot tell you why.

If all I've done is think on you
each minute of each day
and write your name a time or two
what hope is that some way
this love will ever cease to be
just stop? Just simply die?
This love that life has given me
but did not tell me why.


Details | Lyric | |

UNFORTUNATE DOVE

    UNFORTUNATE DOVE
Once more it's morning and I greet the dawn,
waking to feelings I've known,
breathing the fragrance that's lingering on
throughout a lifetime alone;

splinters of sunshine are drifting through blinds,
revealing dust I breathe in,
dancing through flashes, and somehow reminds
of things that never have been;

I hear a song and it's what I've dreamed of,
outside my window they mourn,
I'd face the morning, but I need a shove,
for this poor heart badly torn;

unfortunate dove, why is it you sing,
outside my window each day?
It's a reminder of what life won't bring,
mourning dove, don't fly away;

once more it's morning and I hear the dove
all of my life is a sin,
it's just the way of unfortunate love,
but I still dream now and then.
       ©  ron wilson aka Vee Bdosa the Doylestown Poet


Details | Lyric | |

Struggle of Confusion

I'm dizzy. Yet, I cannot move at all. Nothing really makes sense.
I'm falling. Yet, my feet are firmly planted. My mind and body are playing tricks.
I'm crying. But, only on the inside. I don't know why I can't show the emotion.
I'm living. Or, is this my personal Hell? I cannot be sure, but I know I'm torn.
I'm moving on. But, occasionally think of it all. Was any of it even real?
I stand. On both feet and very tall. It's all much clearer now that you're gone.
I'm found. Yet, I was truly never lost. And now the strength to turn my cheek has finally been brought out.


Details | Free verse | |

Faith Healer

The odor is intolerable
Like a foul beast clinging to the end 
I can barely subdue its subterfuge 
But here I am, 
I’m standing here of sound and mind
Waiting for the time that answers my own questions

Can it race with the fires of Orc?
Doubtful, but it can jog steadily can’t it?
The weather is awful, filled with sounds
Penetrating a document not written
It pains me to fight through the night
Not because it’s dark, but because I am just a shadow.

Lester drives but
Motional lasts forever
Still driving
Still crying
And slowly dying as time waves on
Like oceans that can’t be seen.

Nobody cares and everyone listens
Ironic, like a bible that holds lies and deception
Can its will be pierced?
Can freedom stay free?
Is it worth it to stay hooked when everyone around
Seeks liberty?


Details | Lyric | |

How could you

She sits there wondering
waiting
If you'll ever see
She's tired of waiting
crying
How could you let this be?


Locked in the system
a victim of reality
Lost to the unknown world
She sits there
Trapped in her fantasy


She stares out the window
Missing your heartbeat
Longing for your arms
But you won't ever see
You've left her to live here
die here
Drowning in a wordless sea


So many people
around her
but she can't ever tell
She's walking alone now
always
just a hollow shell


They tell her to listen
Move on
With her twisted life
She can't find a reason
a value
nothing but the blade of a knife

It's not the answer
she knows this
but the pain is just too much
You left her to bleed here
lie here
when she only craved your touch

Up in the air she raises
the blade oh so high
So many people
she's leaving
without a single goodbye

Plastic as a doll's toy
her smile was
But you couldn't see
That all she ever wanted
just you
but you had to leave

She sits there wondering
waiting
If you'll ever see
She grew tired of waiting
of crying
How could you let this be?


Details | Lyric | |

When You Fall For The Wrong One

I guess I always knew
That it was too good to be true
That I never really had you in my hand
Just a filler, a time killer
Just a soft place you could land
Not the girl that you’d imagined or had planned
 
But now your ring is on her finger
And her name is on your heart
And I’m left here with my memories
Trying not to fall apart
 
‘Cause you let me
Slip through your fingers
You never looked back
And you let me, pick up your pieces
But I never thought that
I’d be the one in pieces
When it was over, said and done
But I guess that’s just what happens
When you fall for the wrong one
 
As crazy as it sounds, I still wouldn’t change a thing
I wouldn’t take a moment back from us
I don’t regret the moments
When you told me everything
Won’t forget the side of you
That only I know
 
But now your ring is on her finger
And her name is on your heart
And I’m left here with my memories
Trying not to fall apart
 
‘Cause you let me
Slip through your fingers
You never looked back
And you let me, pick up your pieces
But I never thought that
I’d be the one in pieces
When it was over, said and done
But I guess that’s just what happens
When you fall for the wrong one
 
It’ll hurt one day, mark my words
One day when everything falls apart
When she breaks your heart
One day you’ll reach for me
You’ll see me in your dreams
But I’ll be gone
I’ll be gone
 
‘Cause you let me
Slip through your fingers
You never looked back
And you let me, pick up your pieces
But I never thought that
I’d be the one in pieces
When it was over, said and done
But I guess that’s just what happens
When you fall for the wrong one
 
But I’ll be gone…
I’ll be gone…


Details | Lyric | |

Euphorianah

The sapphire-dust sun of what-were dreams
Swallow the scene, setting In the forsaken east
All I see, all I know fades into the reaper's monotone grey 
Death come near me, by my only choice 
My wintry desperation subdued, clings to they silent voice
The dusk reveals my truest nature before her blank argentine eyes
Life; the darkest of all tragedies, Romances' malady
Let me feel your breath in this frozen air
Your pulse shorter than ever
Despair's void grows inside me
Without, you I will live no longer

Forever with me you will stay
The darkness caressing means as I lay by thy grave 
Hatred no longer exits
Come back to me
Euphorianah

My Angel, why did you fly so far away
My Angel, let just one feather stay
My Angel has flown away

The winterwinds' tears fall on me
With whispers of you, someone I once knew
No matter in a dream or reality
Sweet tranquillity, stay with me
Calming the fears within
But the pain remains

The silvemoon's fears shine on you
Thine eyes search for mine
Oh how they shine, so deathly blue
If sacrifice needs a price
The dagger shows-
Heaven is calling us tonight

Forever with me you will stay
The darkness caressing means as I lay by thy grave 
Hatred no longer exits
Come back to me
Euphorianah

My Angel, why did you fly so far away
My Angel, let just one feather stay
My Angel has flown away

Covered in shadowy illusions 
Shall we dance?
Death will be lie dominion
You are my only queen
Euphorianah

Forever with me you will stay
The darkness caressing means as I lay by thy grave 
Hatred no longer exits
Come back to me
Euphorianah

My Angel, why did you fly so far away
My Angel, let just one feather stay
My Angel has flown away

Just let me die
If I cannot see
Euphorianah 
This night 


Details | Lyric | |

Last Day

Dear dad,

Today,
is the day
and I am afraid.
 
I will come to tell you.
I have found my someone.
So I'm asking, will you walk me through? 
Down the aisle
With my white gown.
Will you hand me over?
To this mean man.
So he can carry me away
possibly see you again someday?
Daddy?

I just wanted to let you know
As I sit on this white snow.
Writing to you.
That I am glad
You are my dad.

My heart has finally met it's match.
He's kind I tell you.
I am lucky to be with him, he's part of a special few.
But really I want to cry.
This man in all black is not mine.
Oh, why me?
That should not be dieing before my daddy!

Remember?
When I was a child.
We went for ice-cream.
We walked for a mile.
Just so I could sleep, a sweet dream.

And today
is the day
and I am afraid.
That death knocked on my door.
Took me away and married me.
Oh, how it's funny,
that you can still be free.
This is what he did daddy:

He reached out his hand,
and lied.
I lay out mine 
and I died.

So I just wanted to let you know,
That you were the best.
I am glad,
That you were my dad.

And today,
I die,
And say,
Bye, Bye.
 



Details | Lyric | |

I'd Do Anything: Losing the Race

I'd do anything...for you
I'd sacrifice my life...for you
I could hike Mount Everest...for you
I'd feed off of your despondency...for you
I'd walk on hot coals...for you
I'd do the impossible...for you
It's true...
I'm positively sure that 
I love you...
I'd give up my life...for you
Still, you don't have a clue?

Sorry for giving up right in front of you... 

Oh! you're always on my mind 
In my everyday thoughts...
I can't stop thinking about you...
you give me hope in mind
Even when you're far away from me
But, I still need you to stay positive...
Thank God you have a kind heart to forgive
The things I didn't mean to say
Why do things not go my own way? 

I'd do anything...for you
I'd sacrifice my life...for you
I could hike Mount Everest...for you
I'd restore your entire life...for you
I'd walk on hot coals...for you
I'd do the impossible...for you
It's true...
I'm positively sure that 
I love you...
I'd give up my life...for you
You still don't have a clue,
Do you?

Abide in the light...reach to a divine height 
Stay with me just for this night
You're my lamp, shedding delight
Stay with me - you're a dazzling sight
Push aside the callous...heartless night 
I witness the tears streaming down your face
I'm frantically wiping them away...I'm sorry for losing the race
I'm sorry...for everything I've done...


Details | Lyric | |

Gone baby, Gone

Middle of the night
No sound and no light
Awake
Thinking about your life
How everything went wrong
All that mistakes
And then boom
The End.
Morning
Light and sound
New day has just begun
But not for you
You’re still laying death
With bullet in your head
Cold
In blood
In your bed


Details | Lyric | |

Bipolar - The Revised Lyric

Here is the finished revised Lyric for Bipolar. The song can be heard at my poetry website vbdosa.com and then clicking the Bipolar link.
     BIPOLAR
Sometimes I can feel a magic like I've never known.
I could run a thousand miles. Run a thousand miles.
Sometimes it's more like I'm dying here all alone.
Sometimes I think I'll die alone.

Sometimes I can reach out for you, but you're made of stone.
I could die a thousand times. Die a thousand times.
Sometimes it's more like you're showing me I'm not alone.
Sometimes I think I'm not alone.

Euphoria. Up and down. In and out.
Up and down. Euphoria.

Sometimes I can feel a magic like you've never known.
I could run a thousand miles. Run a thousand miles.
Sometimes it's more like you're showing me I'm not alone.
Sometimes I think I'm not along.

Up and down. In and out.
Up and down. In and out.
Euphoria. Then I'm down. Down. Down.
Euphoria. Then I'm down. Down. Down.
© ron wison


Details | Lyric | |

A Prayer

As I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
I also start to wonder why
That wretched god won’t let me die
I am so lost, so alone
Empty
Is this part of some cruel, vast
Eternal plan
To keep me distant
Darkened
Desolate
Despairing
And I find myself asking
Who do you think you are?


Details | Lyric | |

Shine

I caught the ghost train
back to the house of pain
where she was waiting
standing naked in the rain.
I felt her warm breath
as she whispered a kiss.
Last thing i remember,
i was half way to my bliss.
and she said shine, shine, shine in the dark.
and i said shine, shine, shine light a spark,
and she said shine, shine, shine through the grey.
and i said shine shine shine your light away.

I felt all the faces 
staring back at me.
I felt so paro as i 
floated through this sea.
Halfway there i
decided i could run away.
But when i turned around
i was going the same way.
and she said shine, shine, shine in the dark.
and i said shine, shine, shine light a spark,
and she said shine, shine, shine through the grey.
and i said shine shine shine your light away.

I closed my eyes to listen
as the tears forgot to fall.
Silence screamed out answers
but i forgot them all.
Now can you hear me
as i never find my way,
to a place i can't remember
or a place i'd like to stay.
and she said shine, shine, shine in the dark.
and i said shine, shine, shine light a spark,
and she said shine, shine, shine through the grey.
and i said shine shine shine your light away.


Details | Lyric | |

Emotion

If you looked in my eyes
Can you see my pain
A lot that I lost
But there’s a lot that I gained
I cry so much
It’s like endless rain
Endless water
Others see it only as shame
I feel so alone
But surrounded by people
No matter what I do
I don’t feel equal
And no matter what I say
I jus don’t see "no"
Labeled a bad guy
Like doctor evil
Lets put the smile away
No jus turn it upside down
This on my face
Is what I call a frown
There’s nothing to say
Not even a sound
So I’m done with this mic
Now I’m putin it down


Details | Lyric | |

IDENTITY

When it starts to rain
I fear my face paint to fade away
My identity to reveal
but may be not
Not just today

When times come around
that are bad, evil times
They come so quickly
And just keep on staying
long for our life time

This world has turned on your head
Your heavy head has a reason to fall now
A reason for a prolonged grief
Sight dim, faith unbelieved

What i want?who i am?
no one knows,no one needs to
want to keep me in their shades
wanna make make me what they want me to
but it ain't gonna happen 
not me, not here, not today


Details | Lyric | |

To My Love

You’ve broken my heart
You’ve broken my soul
You used your hugs and kisses
And all of the lies that you told
The promises that you made to me
Are now dust in the wind
Look at all of my broken pieces
How can I ever love again
I have nothing left to give
I have no love in my heart to share
It’s a hollow, empty shell
A home that’s walls are bare
Nothing lives here now
Cobwebs are forming thick
No flame can ever burn 
In a candle without a wick
I hope you’re happy now
I hope this pain you’ll never know
Because now I live day to day
Until God says it’s my time to go


Details | Lyric | |

I Forgive You All

There was once a time where I remember
You all hated every inch of me
Not a day went by
Where you all told me to leave you be

You all called me an outcast
And whenever there was a game to play
You all would always pick me last
No matter what I tried to do

I would always be treated wrong
Whenever it was time
For the month of August to come along
I would look upon it with dread

Because not only was it time for school
But I would have to face the torture
Of all of you calling me a useless fool
But I would suck it up and keep working hard

But since none of you
Will stand up, act mature, may be make the call
But since none you will not, I guess that I will:
I forgive you all
 


Details | Lyric | |

Bed of Misery

I hate the way this makes me feel
Every time I roll this blunt
I feel like its a deal
that I'm signing with the devil
right on that dotted line
Just to get up in this booth
I would probably sign
yeah i would probably give 
Anything away
Its been my dream
Been haunting me everyday
Now I sit and write
Think About it and fight
Back the urge to ignite
This verse to your ears
And extinguish the 
light that you see
when you  
just believe
that there's hope
In the distance
That this pain
Cannot be
Forever lodged in your brain
Making you go crazy
Or just feel insane
It ain't all in vain

I cannot stop it
These walls are closing in
Deliver me from this
Addiction 
that is setting in
I just cant let it go
Its taking over me
I have to lay in my 
own bed of misery

yeah I got to hide
I just seem cant let it go
And now I feel as if
I'm about to lose my soul
....anything has got to be
Better than laying in 
my own bed of misery

I keep walking along
This path 
That I feel I just
quite don't belong
I'm confused and I'm anxious
And I'm all types of stressed
I got to get these thoughts
Off my chest
Cuz I ain't going to rest

Til I can grow strong
enough To wrap my mind
Around whats going on
I feel like fate is playing me
But I don't know the rules
So I keep making mistakes
And feeling like a fool
Trying to see
And just believe
That there's hope
In the distance
That This pain cannot be
Forever lodged in my brain
Making you go crazy
Or just feel insane
It ain't all in vain

I cannot stop it
These walls are closing in
Deliver me from this
Addiction 
that is setting in
I just cant let it go
Its taking over me
I have to lay in my 
own bed of misery

yeah I got to hide
I just seem cant let it go
And now I feel as if
imma bout ta lose my soul
....anything has got to be
Better than laying in 
my own bed of misery


Details | Rhyme | |

Flight of Enola Gay

    FLIGHT OF ENOLA GAY
Will you tell us tomorrow where we're going, Enola Gay?
There's so much more we wanted to say.
But there's no time for sorrow,
we'll enjoy time that's left,
Though we know our time ended yesterday.

We could tell you the story, but no body understands,
Nagasaki, Hiroshima, distant lands.
It's not clear what we're doing,
but we're pursueing it all wrong,
It's a madness and I'll leave it in your hands.

Nagasaki sadness. Hiroshima madness.
Colorado Rocky Mountain High.
Are they worth pursueinig
all the things we're doing?
I don't know and it's too late for us to wonder why.

     Enola Gay, on silver wings
      What is it now, that your love brings us
     High above, your spirit flies,
       and dumps your load in Fukushima skies.

poetry by veebdosa


Details | Lyric | |

A Vision of the Despaired

…And the obscurity ever so profound…
Stuffing a new-born with apprehension…
Nebulous prophecies it recites…
As my prospect begins to diminish…

The ravens soaring high above…
As fatality becomes the conqueror…
And he dwells in the deep murk…
When the wolves discard the frail one…

…And the uncertain sky resides in doubt…
Listening to him recite infidel hymns…
Perplexed, Dejected, Adrift…
A lost essence ferrets for ecstasy…

And streaks of crimson materialize the sky…
…While the blood-scarlet sun accosts the profound ocean…
Such a panorama perceives the dim mind…
A vision of the despaired…

A bird discards the defective infant…
…And a cohort of malevolence at command…
 A serpent persecutes the lost soul…
Persecutes the one neglected…

A thorny, malicious and defiled path he walks…
The neglected one craving for her occurrence…
Warmth of affection radiating from her eyes…
Words of ignorance bleeding from her mouth…

Euphoric reminiscences dwell in the core of his essence…
Reminiscences of optimism and fictitious prophecies… 
Bitter, icy winter blows to his heart…
As past reminiscences venoms his essence to endless anguish…

Endlessly dedicating affectionate words to the one ever so beautiful…
Eyes of profound depth ever so consoling…
Emptiness fills his spirit with despair ever so immaculate…
The words of affection lost deep into oblivion…

The discarded young wrestles with the adversity of nature…
 …A neglected mortal resolute with lost aspirations…
 An eccentric observe runs through the feeble mortal
 “Aspiring for an enhanced panorama is for those with immense fortitude”

Once a magnificent vision existed deep within…and now
Absurdly bleeding eyes lamenting over inflexible words…
Magnificence of any vision thaws as aspiration unites with obscurity…
And defeat becomes a customary guest…

Ever so blindly dedicated words to the unyielding…
Lost in her profound eyes ignored the dismaying past…
A torn heart bears scars of the past and blunders only once…
Her torn essence barely affectionate ever again…

…And now the veracity ever so lucid…
…As I read her words of sorrow

An assurance I impart…
“Ignorant of the past I was blindly surrendering to the striking affection… 
Conscious I am now after breathing a false dream and plummeting into a 
profound distress…Confessions are no longer extant except that which you shall 
never discern.”  


Details | Lyric | |

Just a Pawn March 4 2011

All that I am is twisted into knotts,
my chest is heavy, I can't breath.
I am being smothered by my own fears,
somebody please come set me free.

Wishing I was free from the voices in my head,
and the constant screaming in my ears.
I pray for just a moment of silence,
to make them magically disappear.

It's always busy upstairs,
there is never a dull moment.
There is constant movement from sun up to sun down,
and my sanity has all been spent.

There's nothing left but the voices I hear,
my insanity has all control.
I'm just a pawn in a never ending game,
all of it is eating away at my soul.

I feel tied down by leather straps,
with there many commands I must follow.
Held capative by my own mental defects,
hold back all emotions don't ever let them show.


Details | Rhyme | |

Someone, Someday

It’s so hard to start
It’s so hard to finish
It feels as if all that you've accomplished will someday be diminished 
And it won’t matter if you become somebody some day
Because someone will easily take your place 
Steal your ideas 
And make a living off you, THEIR way

It’s sad but true
Every mutha f**ka 
Will take a piece of your mind
and will somehow ultimately f**k you

not physically but mentally
making you think 
you’re not one of a kind
their getting all the fame 
while everyone leaves you behind

leaving you to feel like a failure 
people telling you to talk to God, 
he’ll have the answer

I pray, looking up at the ceiling
Hoping he’ll will give me a reason….
To keep going on with my life and my ideas
But all I’m left with are clones of my feelings
Washed up on canvases with some else’s fake veneers 


Details | Lyric | |

Crone

The warmth of the sun
Is gone with life
For now she's the one
Who rules these nights

(CHORUS):
Dark Goddess
Bringer of Death
Bringer of Darkness
Bringer of Less
One of the Darkness
One of the Night
Bringer of Wisdom
Bringer of Might
Come on swift wings
Great Goddess please come
End all my sufferings
The circle is one!

Waters to ice
The flowers have died
life covered in lice
For summer has lied

(CHORUS):
Dark Goddess
Bringer of Death
Bringer of Darkness
Bringer of Less
One of the Darkness
One of the Night
Bringer of Wisdom
Bringer of Might
Come on swift wings
Great Goddess please come
End all my sufferings
The circle is one!

Great Crone
Goddess of Death
Don't leave me alone
Pull me out of this mess

Winter has come
with death you now bring 
with darkness of love
Let freedom now ring

Death is a freedom 
Death is a light
Death is of wisdom
We return in the night!

(CHORUS):
Dark Goddess
Bringer of Death
Bringer of Darkness
Bringer of Less
One of the Darkness
One of the Night
Bringer of Wisdom
Bringer of Might
Come on swift wings
Great Goddess please come
End all my sufferings
The circle is one!


Details | Elegy | |

Requiem For the Absolute

Take the sun away, and find me in a new day
The laws of this land are so hard to obey
You've showed me the way where we must all g
oTaken from me this beautiful sanctuary
Required till this day was your frozen soul
 
Blessed art thee for you have conquered 
So gently you unwrapped my hopes and dreams
Lost and numb my heart beckons for the day
 
Relinquish these hands searching for my soul
Find a way to make me through this day
Requiem for the absolute- a prayer that cannot wait
Requiem for the absolute-I'll wait till the hymns be said
Requiem for the absolute- the dream that will not end
 
Barriers that create I create-- her suffering the cause of pain
While you sang to me about the dead star so innocently
So I came to thee while your eyes were glistening ever so sweetly
Inspired by thee I can't wait to see the day (the day)
when I have got you in my grave 
 
Relinquish these hands searching for my soul
Find a way to make me through this day
Requiem for the absolute- a prayer that cannot wait
Requiem for the absolute-I'll wait till the hymns be said
Requiem for the absolute- the dream that will not end
 
Relinquish these hands searching for my soul
Find a way to make me through this day
Requiem for the absolute- a prayer that cannot wait
Requiem for the absolute-I'll wait till the hymns be said
Requiem for the absolute- the dream that will not end


Details | Lyric | |

The Fisherman

Written January 17, 2011


Sit down in an empty room
No one makes a sound
Unless I ring the alarm and sound all the sirens
The angel of darkness swoons to reel in its catch
If he leads, then I'll follow suit
Preacher preach to me now, while I'm being lifted off of the ground

Rhetoric can't raise the dead
So pull me back before he reels me in with steady hands and fills my mind with lead
I'll leave my best regards to all of those who tried to snap his line in attempts to reel me back
But friends are only friends

You can throw me in an ambulance but as soon as you close the doors
I'll be gone into the weight of my regrets
Following the angel of death into the darkest depths
Until I see the light of all that's left

But at what point do I cross the line in the sand?
How do I know that this could just be the roll of the tide whispering in my ear?
Oh how it digs into my mind
Torn between which side of brightness I will find

Split between the bony hand of disconnect and the flabby flesh of past regret
There I remain waiting for a miracle, looking for a sign
Or am I too far for miracles, am I too blind for signs?
Oh have I let the artist down?


Details | Lyric | |

For All My Pain

Your blood is what was Sacrificed And in Blood we Shall Bathe No more pain nor more hate Will be shed for me ...This is only a desperate dream A slight tender touch on the largest of wounds can leave you screaming for an eternity Dreaming of an escape, A friend from a figment of dark a world from the abyss of my mind Set to fix all of your transgressions Every time you left, abandoned, stranded, forget me A human heart has a limit but It's only I who is left to blame Drifting beyond Aphelion Why must the loudest of Cries Go unheard Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to Answer my Masked Prayers For All My Pain Constraining Me Making my Saturnine Mind Climb to the Apex Just to Fall again Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to answer all of my masked prayers For All My Pain Everyone turning against me I can't keep living a lie like this Lost In Life When death is the only hope Nothing is left to stay But the Fear of being afraid Let me lose this Let me enter another world Drifting beyond Aphelion Why must the loudest of Cries Go unheard Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to Answer my Masked Prayers For All My Pain Constraining Me Making my Saturnine Mind Climb to the Apex Just to Fall again Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to answer all of my masked prayers For All My Pain Drifting beyond Aphelion Why must the loudest of Cries Go unheard Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to Answer my Masked Prayers For All My Pain Constraining Me Making my Saturnine Mind Climb to the Apex Just to Fall again Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to answer all of my masked prayers For All My Pain


Details | Lyric | |

I need your rescue

Oh, I am drowning
In the sea of sin,
I cannot save myself;
Oh Lord I need your rescue!
Oh, I am drooping
From the mount of mercy,
I cannot lift myself;
O lord I need your rescue!
   Give me a helping hand
   In this sinking sand
   Take me to a lovely land
O lord I need your rescue!

Oh I am dying, 
In sickness and sorrow
I cannot heal myself,
O lord I need your rescue!
Oh, I am dosing,
In weariness and woe,
I cannot wake myself;
O lord I need your rescue!
   Save me from my sin
   Both without and within
   Make me cute and clean
O lord I need your rescue!

Oh, I am declining 
In value and virtue
I cannot raise myself
O lord I need your rescue!
Oh, I am decreasing
In strength and in health
I cannot fix myself
O lord I need your rescue!
   I need your grace today
  Show me your way
   Keep me lord I pray
O lord I need your rescue!


Details | Rhyme | |

You Went Away

Another summer here alone
why you left me so cold chilled to the bone
it sinks in when i see you in stone

I walk around in a daze
forgetting the look on your face
nothing fills my heart but empty space
i showed you my darkest place

They tell me that i will be okay
but not today
I cry from the last words i heard you say

Living alone in this place
i think of you so i can escape
A place where i used to see you
Happy and breathing

but not anymore...

A place where you died in pain
It was a shame 
that you couldnt be saved

This day i will remember
because its the day that you went away


Details | Lyric | |

Stories of the Night

A shift upon receiving
The wisdom of my soul
That perceives a tale reforming
As we fall into this black hole

But awareness now is sinking
Along with this dead earth
To where darkest stories glisten
And rage against my worth

The silence now betrays me
Introspection turns to dust
The life about me failing
As I wake into mistrust

The visions now surrounding
The remainder of my sight
Though darkness crawls before me
It is I who kneel from fright

Draining all my wisdom
There’s nothing I can say
The dark is all consuming
There is eternity to pay

Yet this is just a story
As I glance into the night
This shift will pass before us
And leave me lonely in the light


Details | Lyric | |

Waking Up In a Dream

Caged out inside herself The dark light will never shine Why do you care to think negative If you'd care to think at all? Can you believe I wanted to be you? The dream faded long ago Once I realized it was me whom was right; prudence redeemed Your thoughts were wrong Why would you ever try someone that is less than you Someone that could never contend Directly to the end? My ashes turn dark Suffering from the sins of others No melody can save me I'm crossing the borderline Waking up in a dream Is it justified To harm others Only to break your insecurities To fill your prejudice I wish I could know Why you do this The words freeze when the come to me To burn another was they set into you Relapsed again I was left bleeding Cause I'm not good enough if I can be me You were the dream; I was the nightmare Serendipity came for me And I woke up in a dream My ashes turn dark Suffering from the sins of others No melody can save me I'm crossing the borderline Waking up in a dream My ashes turn dark Suffering from the sins of others No melody can save me I'm crossing the borderline Waking up in a dream Say oh, I must say, to you, Mon plus Cher ami Yes to you I'm sorry I had an opinion I'm sorry I felt for one who can't feel I'm sorry I wasn't you I'm sorry I can only be me I'm sorry your dread words will never again be heard by me My ashes turn dark Suffering from the sins of others No melody can save me I'm crossing the borderline Waking up in a dream My ashes turn dark Suffering from the sins of others No melody can save me I'm crossing the borderline Waking up in a dream


Details | Lyric | |

WHY DREAMING YOU IS A NIGHTMARE

I see you in my dreams, not as a comfort,
Not as an emancipation but as a nightmare.
Those discarded recollections rapidly retort
With dreadful visions that endlessly glare.

I wonder why dreaming you is a nightmare.
Perhaps, I do not possess enough memories
Of you, besides, the good ones are very rare.
My Subconscious visualizes myriad stories.

I shut eyes and try to break my dreamy cage.
Going in a trance, I behold you, I sense you
But opening eyes, I realize that it’s a mirage,
My nightmarish wishes evaporate like dew.


Details | Verse | |

The Ice Frozen Box, I Like To Call My Heart

            The Ice Frozen Box, I Like To Call My Heart
8/04/10
By: Sami LaRose


In times of evaporation, the heart fades away
Looking for a newer and brighter day.
He strolls alongside Park Avenue
Then he see’s something he would never expect.
A big bullet right through his cheats!
He falls to the floor and aches in pain
He did not expect to end it this way
But this is merely only the puncher wound to the heart.
The other was much deeper and darker, (and made him fall apart)
But this one stings just as bad.
No matter what they say,
She knew she shouldn’t of taken her heart out to play these silly games
So she takes her bleeding heart, ever
So carefully, and places it in a box for all of eternity.
It shall forever lie in the ice frozen box.
Keep her heart as cold as her soul
And whenever it hearts up from love,
The iron shackles around the chamber
Shall tighten up, and bring it down.
So you see it’s better to keep yourself
Isolated and depressed
Then alive and happy
Because only one of those ends badly.


Details | Lyric | |

Would it Matter At All

The darkness
Takes over
Fear and emptiness
It still lingers
My heart filled with pain
From these past few days
I cried and cried 
Till I cried no more
My heart sank deep and I need to know
I need to know

Would it matter at all?
If I tried to survive these falls
Would it matter at all?
If I let someone break down my walls
Would it matter at all?
If I let you know
If I let you know

The corner looks so 
So inviting
So nice and cozy
And dark and empty
Just the way I like it
With no one to share with
Alone in the night
Is what I want
To cry out loud
And don’t give a ohh
If someone heard me crying here
They would leave anyway
Cuz they don’t care
They don’t care

Would it matter at all? 
If I tried to survive these falls
Would it matter at all?
If I let someone break down my walls
Would it matter at all? 
If I let you know
If I let you know

Just leave me here
Here to die
Just leave me
Alone to die
[Instrumental]

Should I let you in?
Should I tell you everything I’m feeling?
Should I?
Will I?

[Instrumental]
(Echo) just go………
Just go away…………….
Just go……………..
Just go away…………..

Would it matter at all? 
 If I tried to better
Tried to be better
Would it matter at all?










Details | Lyric | |

Here I'll Rise

Footsteps fall gently on the side walk
People going here and fro
Passing the time here below

Watching and waiting
The second hand ticks on
Pushing and fighting
New changes come
Crying and dying
The carousel moves on
On and on it goes again
On and on this day never ends
It’s like we’re stuck on repeat
Too proud to admit defeat

I can watch the walls fall
Watch them crumble down
Dreams lying on the ground
Watch myself lose it all

Sinking slowly
Broken and lonely
And the carousel moves on
Relentlessly going on

When life ends and hopes dashes
Sitting at the edge of my demise
Coming out of the ashes
Its here I’ll rise


Details | Rhyme | |

Blonde 'beauty'

no pun no pun no pun
well he says that i have won
does he see my hair in the sun?
it defines who really has won

it's him it's him it's him
he's getting over the stretch i can't swim
and as the lights are getting dim
my hair sullenly needs a trim

He smiles he smiles he smiles
and stares at me all the while
but as i fall down to the tile
it becomes my hardest trial

i cry i cry i cry
because i know i've told a lie
and my life has passed me by
when i caught myself in his eye

I run i run i run
because he thinks that i have won
this hair so blonde in the sun
reflects the fact that i am done


Details | Lyric | |

Thank You

She had abandon my life.
I know, She is my wife..

She made up my life like hell.
Now, I am throwing everything in a well..

I was different and brave.
It's time to bury me in grave..

I want to sleep to never wake up again.
Because, I can't come out from tears of rain..

Thinking of my situation, which makes me shiver.
I will definitely die to failure of liver..

I have dreamed many things with her.
Nothing of mine was better with yer..

I wanted to cleanses you of evil.
In regards, you handed over me to the devil..

I must say hearty thanks to her.
Finally, she made my happiness blur...


Details | Lyric | |

Confessional

A world now standing still
In awe of what was killed
Frozen in the wake
Of every lost mistake

Nowhere to begin
For every broken thing
Silence strangles thought
In shock of what I caught

A darkness shining through
Replaying every truth
Alone beyond repair
Repayments I can’t spare

And all in my defence
I proclaim innocence
Perhaps there was a time
But not for my greatest crimes

The pain has turned to ice
My shame shrouded by night
The stars will shape her face
The hearts that I betrayed

Averting all denial
This humble crying child
Desires to atone
Until the dark is overthrown


Details | Epic | |

Living Her Life

She sees the pains,
Which her native folk have gained.
She changed from a little girl
To someone who has always had the potential
To change her own little personal inner world.
As a child she never went through
What some other children of her people
Had went through themselves.

She used to never knew how the roots
Of all her people’s issues
Were and are so controversial.
Blessed was she, as a very young child,
For not knowing fully all the reasons why.

Blessed that she is and will always be
Full of feeling, and always quietly wondering “Why?”, 
Now she is filled with new knowledge and a developing sense of wisdom 
Within her own individual mind.
She is now what she had always
Envisioned and imagined before, since her elementary days.
She is (“I am...”) not entirely that same little girl anymore.
She is now one of the many of that particular kind.

Within her imagination is a longed 
Wanting of finally revealing 
The truths she has discovered and
How her people must change for the better.
Throughout her whole life, which she’s lived through so far,
She maintains a heart filled with feelings, 
A mind filled with knowledge
And a slight emotional immaturity as representation
That her inner child self is still alive on the inside.

Her inner and past child self (who was different from all the rest,
But was also similar to them when at their best).
Never truly knew how far she’d come in life.
(As of right now and forever into the future)
How she has grown and maintained herself
Is how she had made that (her) inner voice in her head and 
Had also long ago already acknowledged her true self.

She still stands in her own believing faith and faith in herself
And her lack of prejudice is what makes her naive thinking
Make her own days in her life far brighter than what others say
As they discourage her from doing 
Or trying to pursue something grand and part of a divine plan.
Even after times and tribulations involving doubting tremble.

Blessed she is for being so whole in her own presumed thoughts,
Blessed she is for logical thinking based on emotion and feelings.
Blessed she will always be, for Christ himself said to a woman
(who was suffering from something for more than 12 years), 
“Your faith is what made you whole.”
Now she thinks...
“Grateful and blessed I am, to the point of tears of joy and sorrow of how I used to doubt.
I now forever know what my life will be like beyond tomorrow.”


Details | Lyric | |

Suicide

As the days turned into weeks, the weeks into months and months into years I wondered half-heartedly how so much time could pass me by. My life was a matter of simply getting through each moment. Existing but never living.

The days dragged on. Growing bleaker and bleaker with each passing moment. And, oh the nights how dark and lonely they always proved to be. Sheer exhaustion but never rest. Sleep was as foreign to me as the life I had one day known. The best I could have hoped for was to have collapsed into a heap.

The tears, how they streamed shamelessly down my cheeks. In the dark corner I sat trying to avoid the world. All alone. The pain unbearable. I couldn’t breathe. Only gasp between my sobs. Never-ending sadness moving in on me. Closing in until hysteria would come and take its place.

The pills. Oh, they helped for awhile. Eased the pain a little in the beginning but that didn’t last. So more doctors, more pills. Start taking this one and quit taking that. Stronger doses always called for though they never helped. Frustration added to the pain. Desperation finally took over.

Tonight’s the night. All alone. Making plans. Leaving notes. Will they forgive me? Will it matter if they don’t? Freedom on the other side of a bottle. A hot bath. A handful of these and another of those. It’s just a matter of time now. The tub is so relaxing. Growing sleepy. Now is the time. I have to let go. Eternity calls my name. No more pain. I am free.


Details | Lyric | |

Just not enough

Why did you leave me
Was my love not enough
I can’t stop these tears from coming
Even though I’m trying to be strong, be tough
I still miss you, your touch, so much
But at the same time I hate you so
I wish I could just pack up everything
And without saying one goodbye, just go
But I have no life without you
Even though I am without you in my life
Will happiness ever find me
Like it did when I was your wife


Details | Lyric | |

All Over

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
Yeah, you're long gone now
Won't matter, I'll find you anyway

Was I just a ghost passing through you?
Cuz I don't understand the things you do
I'll meet you on the other side, bitter and hardened heart

Is this what you dreamed of?
Saving me, telling me life is beautiful
As your aching, your breaking

Be my friend and give me your hand
No, nothing goes wrong anymore
Your time has gone and I'm glad it's all over

(lyrics written by Keane)


Details | Lyric | |

Who I Was

Just when life is at its best 
You will soon come to regret
And realize
That you’ll never be 
Worth loving
Deep down, you wonder why you fall
You wonder why, back then, you never saw it all
And now it’s all coming back
Who you used to be, 
Who you wanna be
Who I am, and who I was

You were so strange and silly back then
Comical was merely the lift of a pen
You laughed and smiled at everything
Nothing seemed to be damaging
Save your own small faults
In broken vaults

You sat there triumphantly
Singing a song you wrote
And now I sit here, regretfully
Wondering why
I can’t comply
With anything


Details | Lyric | |

YOU STOPPED LOVING HER TODAY

       YOU STOPPED LOVING HER TODAY
The very least you should expect is emptiness
throughout your lifetime, pain and bitterness
there is no end that you can ever find
to end the never ending struggle in your mind.

They tell you, someday you'll get over it
and as your life goes on you will forget
but dying hearts know that's the thing to say
appeasement to the pass of time and dying day.

How many nights will pain be everything?
There's not a way to stop what love can bring
nor change the way you feel in any light
it's always there part of your life both day and night.

You think on death how peaceful it must be
but dead is what you are and constantly
so lay you down to sleep in any way
and then it can be said, 
.............................you stopped loving her today.
© ron wilson


Details | Lyric | |

OXOX

You caressed me with cold hands and it wasn’t what you call my healing rain
Misery drives me to madness and sick distress
The mesmerizing music and its slick beat sticks to my brain
Chillax for a while and embrace not sadness

OXOX…OXOX…
XOXO…XOXO…
You impress me…it’s a pleasure beyond SEX
OXOX…OXOX…
XOXO…XOXO…
Let the blessed breeze BLOW…I will not be brought low
OXOX…OXOX….
XOXO…XOXO…

Solitary souls are so far away from your reach – misfortunate tunes play
Question me not when I am old and gray
I will be wise and not foolish like I was those cruel, yet innocent days…I pray
That your life is wonderful in every single way

OXOX…OXOX…
XOXO…XOXO…
You impress me…it’s a pleasure beyond SEX
OXOX…OXOX…
XOXO…XOXO…
Let the blessed breeze BLOW…I will not be brought low
OXOX…OXOX….
XOXO…XOXO…

Escape from the aftershocks of sorrow
For, you will be the beautiful bloom of tomorrow
Your fast movement keeps my heart beatin’
I’m ashamed of being defeated by my sin

OXOX…OXOX…
XOXO…XOXO…
You impress me…it’s a pleasure beyond SEX
OXOX…OXOX…
XOXO…XOXO…
Let the blessed breeze BLOW…I will not be brought low
OXOX…OXOX….
XOXO…XOXO…

Bad habits overwhelm me and it changes my mindset 
Oh, how it makes me feel so upset – my mind is piling up with debt 
Daily fed-up with your foolish decisions 
You’re shattering my hope and your blurring my visions

OXOX…OXOX…
XOXO…XOXO…
You impress me…it’s a pleasure beyond SEX
OXOX…OXOX…
XOXO…XOXO…
Let the blessed breeze BLOW…I will not be brought low
OXOX…OXOX….
XOXO…XOXO…

Let me go,
Vanity in every verse…let it burn and be driven away by tragedy in reverse and it kindles hopeful hello’s, leaving no room for wretched, grief-stricken goodbyes – so,  OXOX to you and I wish you good fortune and luck in store
Emptiness and woe
Has been hidden in the core of my being like an oath…I feel as if I am the curse, but I am the miracle in disguise; experiencing the highest of highs and lowest of lows…stop spreading lies about me – the truth will prosper forevermore
OXOX…
XOXO…
Restore peace to my verse…don’t perplex
My mind any further…LET ME GO…
Don’t let my mortification show…blessings I will bestow upon you – I wish you find peace in mind and I’m sorry for all the emotional trauma I’ve put you through
But, let the starlight of the afterlife shine aglow 
Don’t let my destruction unfold…I owe you my attitude of gratitude – I apologize if I was ever rude to you – know that you are my striking, dazzling star that is the shade of beatific blue
I send all of my OXOX's to you


Details | Lyric | |

Joy

Lingering whispers fester in her head,
Secrets and memories roll down her cheek.
She is aching to be heard,
Yet the pins
In her lips
Won't let
Her 
Speak.

One day she opens her window,
Warmth flooding her dead eyes;
Her skin aglow
And smile blooming,
"I'm finally 
Free!"
She
Cries.


Details | Lyric | |

The World is Ugly

More delliquit than a flower
Stranded on an island of thieves 
Rising up from the ashes of the 
burning trees

The constant smell of burning flesh
We laid down to rest

The crisp feel of the leaves
Bark burning at a raging speed
But our eyes are to blind to see

What I feel is no less 
That would be your guess



Details | Ballad | |

Rosaline

Moonlight shines down on my cold, pale face I am alone, her raven calling, I am disgrace Falling as the willows weep, I hold her in my arms as she struggles to breathe Rosaline, my one love divine. You are sacred You are mine Her voice rising above the water Beautiful Rosaline sang silently to me The whispers trailing off her fingers, as she faded into the darkness My beautiful angel has vanished again Goodbye my Beautiful Rosaline. Happened that Grim reckless day when the shadows began to play Beauty detonated in my trust No more, no more will there ever be a witch so grand, as to bring back my Beloved Rosaline Sorrow cuts it's way into my heart It is the locked key, the one you keep Her voice rising above the water Beautiful Rosaline sang silently to me The whispers trailing off her fingers, as she faded into the darkness My beautiful angel has vanished again Goodbye my Beautiful Rosaline So leaving this Tragic scene I vanished from Rosaline's sight Nevermore will there ever be a witch so grand, as to bring back my Beloved Rosaline Her voice rising above the water Beautiful Rosaline sang silently to me The whispers trailing off her fingers, as she faded into the darkness My beautiful angel has vanished again Goodbye my Beautiful Rosaline. Enchanting she sang to me, in the everlasting light of peace My beautiful siren walks again Goodnight my Beautiful Rosaline


Details | Lyric | |

where ive always been

The air in this tomb sticks to my lungs offers no relief
The moments of comfort are short and brief
the darkness engulfs all of my senses
like the wrapping of guilt in so many confessions

maybe i deserve this twisted fate this ironic end
what i wouldn't give know just for a friend
my body grows weaker as the ordeal carries on
i pray this time tomorrow i will already be gone

laying in this bed i feel its my coffin my casket
don't know where I'm going but ill get there in a hand basket
even though i know its almost over regret seems to be my only companion
inside there is enough sorrow to feel the grand canyon

this late in the end i cant find the strength to speak
so much left unsaid am i wicked or just weak
i think people are here with me voices and a familiar face
the people i love cant follow me know they must stay in this place

if theres more after this life has passed me by
ill wait for you all on the other side 
i hope I've left fond memories with you all
you kept me standing after every single fall


Details | I do not know? | |

Paper

On paper I am perfect,
On paper I am fine
On paper I see everything,
All that is mine
But paper gets worn down,
Paper tears with time
The ink will slowly fade away,
The words will slowly die
Paper tells a story,
which can often be a lie
It's dogged ears can hide the truth,
It's cuts can make you cry
But paper wont match reality,
However hard I try

The ink will slowly fade away,
Maybe it's my time.


Details | Lyric | |

ill see you in hell

Let me leave this world of curses, 
  broken hearts and dreams
Let me run till i have no breath,
  and no pulse.
give me cold metal,
  push it to my head and pull the trigger.
Give me a blade that'll 
  slice my heart out so i can no longer feel love.
Give me a lighter that'll
  burn my skin 
   so that none look at me again.
Give me a needle 
  to stab myself over and over again.
Let me bleed till no blood is left in me

Don't try and stop me,
  you know it wont work,
your damage has been done.
Just leave me to my own will.
I'll see you in hell.


Details | Lyric | |

When One Heart Opens Another is Broken

Love 
Is a word
With no meaning
For when you
Love
Someone, they
Are taken away
And you are left 
Alone
Your mother
Father
Cold, lifeless
Dead on the floor
Love
Causes the pain
Love
Causes the sadness
Love
Closes open doors.


Details | Lyric | |

BIPOLAR

     BIPOLAR
Sometimes I can feel a magic like I've never known.
I could run a thousand miles. Run a thousand miles.
Sometimes it's more like I'm dying here all alone.
Sometimes I think I'll die alone.

Euphoria. Then I'm down down down
Euphoria. Then I'm down down down. Euphoria.

Sometimes I can reach out for you, but you're made of stone.
I could die a thousand times. Die a thousand times.
Sometimes it's more like you're showing me I'm not alone.
Sometimes I think I'm not alone.

Euphoria. Then I'm down down down
Euphoria. Then I'm down down down. Euphoria.

Euphoria then I'm down down down.
Euphoria then I'm down down down.
© ron wison


Details | Free verse | |

Freyja

 
Surging through this lifeless Body of mine Mania, Euphoria, Freyja Never let me run dry I am lost by your Sigh But I cannot cry What Is this coming over me this everlasting energy Never cease this utmost surprise I graciously prithee Sorcery of Insomnia Caught in Mania Only for Freyja Her Golden one Is Burning out Deranged Am I? Faster, Only Faster Harder, Only Harder In Bizarre Light I hold myself to another Flame Torturous Fun of this Game Sorcery of Insomnia Caught in Mania Only for Freyja Her Golden one Is Burning out Deranged Am I? Sensuality to it's new Peak Running again from the Fake obsolete Euphoric, Erotic All you want All you Desire Sorcery of Insomnia Caught in Mania Only for Freyja Her Golden one Is Burning out Deranged Am I?


Details | Lyric | |

Missing Her

There is a sweeping beam of light
that is turning in my mind
this hologram of life
is now so very far behind
on flat black walls of conscience
the beam goes slowly round
the lighthouse is in operation
but no keeper can be found.

There is an empty frozen ocean
my mind solidified
emotion and aggression
now so far, far, far behind
over waves of frozen fear
the beam goes slowly round
The lighthouse still in operation
still no keeper can be found.

This
This is Depression
Depression has finally found me
Depression
a letter of goodbye,

She's gone.



--------------------------------------------------
Lyrics by Marco BING, written for the song 'Depression'


Details | Lyric | |

A time when you could eat the sun

The trees are made of feathers and sticks
The sun is made of golden cheese
The moon was made of whipped cream
A place where the water was made out of blue Kool- Aid
The grass was made of gummy green strings
There was no houses and no place to hide
A place where a boy ate the sun
A place where the Moon swalloed up the world
A tragedy that melted and turned to liquid
No one could swim in the sea
No one could tan underneath the branches
A world where time stood still and the hours were long
A place where humans never existed

"Please Try to Go Beyond Earth Hour"
Treat earth like something you imagined when you were a kid a place where these things happened and you could be safe. Pick up your trash and clean up your yard! after all this is your world too :)!


Details | Lyric | |

Dies Leben bringt mich um - This life will kill me

This is a song I wrote in German. I've given my translation in English. If you are a german speaker, please let me know about mistakes I've made..
 
Nichts bleibt jetzt zu töten doch die Zeit und der Schmerz
Als ich Schutz vom Regen suche, dem Regen im Herz
Ich male hellen Bilder an den Fenstern und der Wand
Damit ich nicht die dunkle Welt draußen sehen kann
 
Es bringt mich schon zum Lachen, es bringt mich sicher um
Während ich die Freiheit überlegen, bewegen sich die Wände enger mich herum.
 
Wie 'ne Kanonenkugel schweb' ich aufs Bedauernmeer
Ich schwimm' der Wirklichkeit vorbei, den Wahnsinn hinterher
Man findet mich am Meeresboden, nach dem Weg fragen
Hier bin ich vor nicht gewesen seit mindestens zwei Monaten
 
Es bringt mich schon zum Lachen, es bringt mich sicher um
Während ich die Freiheit überlegen, bewegen sich die Wände enger mich herum
 
Wir sehen uns halbjährlich, doch dir sehe ich jade Nacht
Den Morgen grüßt der Hahn, er weint den Tod meiner Vernunft nach
Der Bauer hackt den Kopf ihm ab; der Hund gefüttert werden muss
Auge um Auge, wie man hier sagt, das Leben schmeckt gut mit 'nem Bösenschuss
 
Es bringt mich schon zum Lachen, es bringt mich sicher um
Während ich die Freiheit überlegen, bewegen sich die Wände enger mich herum
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nothing left now to kill but the time and the pain
As I seek cover from the rain, the rain in my heart
I paint bright pictures on the windows and the wall
So that I can't see the dark world outside
 
It really makes me laugh, but it will surely kill me
While I contemplate freedom, the walls move closer in around me
 
Like a canonball I float on the sea of regret
I swim past reality, after insanity
I can be found on the bottom of the sea asking for directions
I haven't been here before, for at least two months
 
It really makes me laugh, but it will surely kill me
While I contemplate freedom, the walls move closer in around me
 
We see each other twice a year, but I see you every night
The rooster greets the morning, he mourns for my sanity
The farmer cuts its head off; the dog must be fed
An eye for an eye, or say they say, life goes well with a slice of evil
 
It really makes me laugh, but it will surely kill me
While I contemplate freedom, the walls move closer in around me


Details | Lyric | |

never forget 9-11

On that day we were all the same, we didn't know there faces, we didn't know 
there names.
There voices we heard crying all around the world, someones loving father, 
someones little girl.
On that day we were called to lead a better life, for that someones father, for that 
someones wife.
The list of souls read from above before it came below why it was and why it is the 
answer no one knows.
Through the pain we have learned lessons great and small, life, love, and happiness 
are precious cherish them all.
With grace we all go on, but never will we forget that all of these beautiful things 
can fade so very quick.
On that day we wondered, on that day we cryed, on that day we asked ourselves 
what kind of man am I?
Mothers held there children for so long and oh so tight, why did these people have 
to go this was not there fight.
We hope and pray for all those names, and the ones they left behind they gave 
their life for a question the answer we must find.

William J. Harty


Details | Lyric | |

The Feather

I look at my life 
As I see nothing but my past
So many people die
To heavy of a mass

As I sigh, but not in relief
As I watch as everything disappears around me,
No running, no laughter, and I can’t hear a sound,
As I slowly, but hardly fall to the ground

The heroes as they call them,
They come in haste
As I can’t even sigh
As I can hear the sound of worry 

No thoughts run in my mind
As I lay there as they put needles in me
I feel as if people can see my soul out of my eyes
As death passes my face of discovery

I’ve always thought that a feather was a lie
They might be little but when they deplete over time
As my families disappointed and your friends just left
All alone you would have to face DEATH


Details | Lyric | |

Disappear

Suddenly all the people who matters to me "disappear". 
And make up any excuse just to be forgiven. 
I hoped it will be the last time, but sadly it became a habit. 
The more i hear your excuses, the more i push you away. 
I fed up and walk away. 
Days become weeks 
Weeks become months
later on, you call or text saying you miss me. 
What you except me to do... 
Tell you that i miss you. 
Tell you that i was fine, but all i did was waiting for you. 
Tell you that you left a huge emptiness in my heart when u walked away. 
Did it satisfy you to torture me or did i become a toy for you to mess with. 
You have done enough of damage already

Why did you have to come back???


Details | Lyric | |

Downer

The internet told me i have aids
The media told me that im a murderer
The magezines tell me i can become fake
The ads tell me i can give into things
The book told me i can believe in dumb things
The tv commercial said i can save money on car insurance
The store sign said i can buy a life
The hospital told me i can end a life
The iran people said i can bomb anything
The cigarette ad said i got cancer
The weed ad said i got healthier
My journal said i can be many things 
but im better off as being myself!!


Details | Lyric | |

Go Find Your Place In The Sun

(Written 16 September 1999/2:35pm, Thursday)

"Beyond the sacrifices of the Body.
Necessary light.
I bend toward it and blow gently."
                                    -Patricia Fragnoli
How can I...?
The heat of the Sun
like prying eyes of Mankind
burns me.
But who cares?
Yes, I confess: This life's a mess.
Though, I don't want to die yet.
I trust, it's not yet time.
But desperation haunts me
like a thief in the night.
Back in my gloomy years,
I have thought of 
taking my own life...
But those times were all over--
still hoping so.
It's time. I want to live in Light
inside my dreams.
Never mind the outer limits.
I'll do it my way.
It's my life anyway.
It pains me to think
of the Hard Reality
that this world is one big labyrinth.
Many people lose their way
and waste away their dreams.
I share the tears
of the Human Soul.
With this, I intend
to conquer my own frailties
and lift up the broken spirit
of the outcasts.
One day, if I could find my soul
and listen to it,
if I could have a heart
and follow it,
if I could live to see the sun--
One day, I'll find my place.


Details | Ballad | |

Miss Mayhem

Nymphomania Is all she can grant you along with a well spent night This femme fatale isn't something A man can't handle A sex-fiend straight from the chamber of Satan A desire so strong It won't ever feel wrong A mistress of melancholy She took over my soul The amphetamine addiction Of her deadly embrace Her sweet poisonous grace Her heroin laced lips Oh how her venom drips All beware of a sensual destruction The comely fatal femme This sexual gem Stay away from miss mayhem Disaster is what she is A taste of her could make you leave All other vices and loves Would you ever think of the price For an eternity you'll be condemne dEven just for one night with miss mayhem This vamp of pain all life she will drain, this is addicting whore Is all you will adore Exciting and erotic Using all fetishes against your soul Your wife will surely lament From this dreadful strife A mistress of melancholy She took over my soul The amphetamine addiction Of her deadly embrace Her sweet poisonous grace Her heroin laced lips Oh how her venom drips All beware of a sensual destruction The comely fatal femme This sexual gem Stay away from miss mayhem A plague of pleasure The flead rats couldn't even measure Against the scourge of men A mistress of melancholy She took over my soul The amphetamine addiction Of her deadly embrace Her sweet poisonous grace Her heroin laced lips Oh how her venom drips All beware of a sensual destruction The comely fatal femme This sexual gem Stay away from miss mayhem


Details | Lyric | |

STAY - dedicated to people who go through Separation Anxiety

Stay with me and you'll find happiness
I guess I'm the one to ignore like leftovers getting thrown away
Oh, i thought I was the one friend that  could make your day an illuminated day
Sorry to say, but my heart's sinking in dismay
it has been a busy day for me, but I want you to be willing to hang around me and stay
Our friendship bond between us is wrecked up and weak - 
It's not setting us free from the strange encounters in captivity
I know I need to be self-controlled and merely meek!
Venture into our mind's eye and we'll find liberty... temporarily

Ch.: What can I say today?
All I have to do is be in solitude and pray...
Pray that you'll answer me tonight...don't worry about me - I'm feeling okay
Despite being ignored by others day after day
I'm handling it alright...I just want someone to talk to...I want them to simply listen and stay
Stay...stay...stay...don't stay away
Just stay...stay...I won't lay my problems on you today
For my mind drifts on like a cloud that passes away

I didn't ask for the night to murder the day...my High spirits are fading away and I'm one with the color gray
So stay...stay...stay for a while, won't you, friend, for one more day
I promise I'll behave and stop bugging you, okay? Okay?
Say what you have to say...But I beg you to please..please...stay

Ch.: What can I say today?
All I have to do is be in solitude and pray...
Pray that you'll answer me tonight...don't worry about me - I'm feeling okay
Despite being ignored by others day after day
I'm handling it alright...I just want someone to talk to...I want them to simply listen and stay
Stay...stay...stay...don't stay away
Just stay...stay...I won't lay my problems on you today
For my mind drifts on like a cloud that passes away

Just stay with me one way or another - you're turning the wrong way...me too...don't fret - everything will be OK
As long as you stay by my side today
I'm tired of living this lie in my head...I have many prices to pay
Emotional debt is not easy to pay off...I just need to obey
I need to obey God and pray that you'll stay 
I will soon be positive like the fervor-blossoming day
So, please, please stay

Ch.: What can I say today?
All I have to do is be in solitude and pray...
Pray that you'll answer me tonight...don't worry about me - I'm feeling okay
Despite being ignored by others day after day
I'm handling it alright...I just want someone to talk to...I want them to simply listen and stay
Stay...stay...stay...don't stay away
Just stay...stay...I won't lay my problems on you today
For my mind drifts on like a cloud that passes away

I like you, friend - I must say!
Are you okay? How was your day today?
I will cheer you up till the end...
I don't mean to offend
I don't want our friendship to end

Ch.: What can I say today?
All I have to do is be in solitude and pray...
Pray that you'll answer me tonight...don't worry about me - I'm feeling okay
Despite being ignored by others day after day
I'm handling it alright...I just want someone to talk to...I want them to simply listen and stay
Stay...stay...stay...don't stay away
Just stay...stay...I won't lay my problems on you today
For my mind drifts on like a cloud that passes away
 
Search for God and He can give us pure, true FREEDOM for eternity
All I want you to do...all I need you to do
Is to stay with me - do me a favor a-and-
And relieve me from the love flu
That's been killing me, do you u-understand?
Stray on your own will lead to further distress...


Details | Lyric | |

DEPRESSION OR JUST PLAIN CONFUSION

When i was little, i would have never dreamed at age 24 my heart would be so depressed i would choose death over breath, literally.. That my dreams would be filled with nothing but painful flashes of confusion..
Have you ever felt so alone, you stop to care? worse still, have you ever been left alone with life's cares? 
I awake in the middle of the night, my eyes covered in tears, it seems even sleep has walked away leaving insomnia as its substitute..
This emotion, is it depression or just plain confusion? whatever it is, this feeling chocks the life out of you, like lipo sucking the life out of your tummy.. It covers your brain in an invisible yet deadly tumor, drains hope out of your soul like a heart loosing its oxygen causing the red blood cells to chock..
This feeling drags you to isolation, convincing you that is no solution to this confusion, telling you that all this pain can only end if you put an end to your breath- John 10, 10; The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy.
Depression buries your joy under neath piles of iniquity and condemnation,   failure and rejection.
If i could, i would rather not drink from this bitter cup of melancholy but this is the same cup that reminds me of how my Father drank from the cup of death, the cup of wrath, gave away his breath so i could enjoy eternal breath.. Luke 23, 46.
And as i search the scriptures, i am convinced that this depression is not of my Father, the Father who called my name before the foundations of the Earth, who knitted me in his likeness- Genesis 1, 26-27 and loves me eternally, the Sovereign yet loving and compassionate God, the Father who left his glory, sort me from the pits of iniquity and blessed me with a new love story.. 
Today i choose to listen to my Fathers word over depression, over confusion and i accept his solution, i receive his eternal salvation, daily.. John 3, 16 God loved us so bad, he gave his son, fought death and replaced our depression with his salvation.. Hes replaced your depression with his salvation.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Air

Surging in the water with nothing in our hands
Searching for air and hoping somehwere that there's land
Cause I don't see anything in sight
And I don't feel the need to continue on this plight
Air
Somehow, somewhere
Can't quite compare
How we once shared
Air
It seems like such a neverending game
Swimming the ocean but I still can't see your face
I'm sinking down and can't float
I'm sinking down with no hope
Air
Somehow, somewhere
Can't quite compare
How much you cared
Air
I'm going down, you're going up
I'm praying hard you'll make it stop
You're all the oxygen I need
Take hold and help me breathe
Help me breathe
I'm lost at sea
It's just me
There's no air


Details | Lyric | |

In My Poet's Eye

IN MY POET'S EYE
I can't say, where you are tonight.
I can't say, our love would have turned out right.
I don't know, but I do know, 
you are still my love.

Every night I find I still reach for you.
Any time I pray, I still pray for you.
I don't know the reason, 
But I know you're still a part of me.

In my poet's eye, I still see you here.
In my poet's world, I still feel you near.
I don't know the reason, 
but I thought God meant this love to be.
I don't know the reason, 
but I thought God meant our love to be.

In my poet's mind, you are mine again.
In my poet's heart you are here again.
In my poet's eye, you'll always be my love.

In my poet's eye, you'll always be my love.
In my poet's eye, you are still my love.
.......© ron wilson
The video for this song on Youtube, search for "veebdosa"then select IN MY POETS EYE, either Vee Bdosa (aka Ron Wilson) singing or Emily Van Praag singing.


Details | Lyric | |

Sanctum

Just another broken and battered man, left up on the shelf
He sits there and waits for the rain to fall so his dreams come true
He cries but all you can see is blood rushing from his veins
Old memories surfaced again 

There it goes again, he’s listening to the crowd laughing at him again 
He hears the bitter lies and laughter
and all he wants to know is

Why------ does my life really matter? (There must be another way)
You’ve got too try------ the smoke that makes the bad times better

He dries his eyes on the only thing that’s there a photograph of  glory days
Curses the night that used to be his shroud covering is indiscretions 
I don’t have t tell you all that broken man is me

There it goes again, sirens getting louder grinding air to powder
It doesn’t feel like home no more
All I want to know is

Why------ does my life really matter? (There must be another way)
You’ve got to try------ the smoke that makes the bad times better

Soon I know Ill disappear!
I can’t find my way away from me!
Summertime is fading on me!
Someone tell me someone tell me
Why I’m here

why------ does my life really matter? (There must be another way)
You’ve got to try------ the smoke that makes the bad times better


Details | Lyric | |

I'm Sorry Pt 1

I’m sorry for everything I did
For everything I didn’t say
Girl I love you 
And I never meant for it to turn this way
I wanna be with you
And I need to apologize
I’ll do it again
Say I’m sorry over a thousand times
I knew I hurt you
Once I heard you cry and seen your tears
Then I seen it 
Everything I worked hard for jus disappear 
I want it back, I want
All your love and all your trust
I will do everything 
I jus will never give up
I’m so sorry
I will go to the bottom of the ocean
Travel to the farthest star
Jus to hear you say
That you still love me girl
And to hear that
You still want to be in my world
Baby, please stay
Please don’t turn around
Give me a chance to say
How it all went down….


Details | Lyric | |

We Walk Amongst The Faithful

We walk amongst the faithful. Unknown to human eyes. So normal and so human, They can't see through our disguise. The tears of angels made us As they flew down from the sky. They didn't want to do it, So all they did was cry. We're stuck amongst the ruin. The horror and despair. We've seen a bit too closely To the heart of Evil's lair. We walk amongst the faithful. Unknown to human eyes. So normal and so human, They can't see through our disguise. We're scarred up on the inside, But outside we're just fine. We hide the truth so well They can't see into our lies. Our daddies were all drinkers. And when they would get mad, They'd take it out us poor souls, And boy were we so glad When Daddy drank himself to sleep, And we could go and hide. Carve another scar into our heart Which was hidden deep inside. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so human They can't see through our disguise. Our mommies all liked men Perhaps a bit too much They sampled fair and far And didn't mind the touch. When Mommy fell asleep, Her boyfriends would come down And they would scare us half to death And they'd start to mess around. And after they were done Ravaging our broken souls We'd take our chance to run And hide from things we'd never know. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so human They can't see through our disguise. Our families are all broken We have no place to hide No place to let our tears out Let out what hurts inside. And now we sit here all alone In this dark corner as all hope Evades our longing hands We've lost our way to cope. And now we hide our feelings And what they've done to every “me”. We hold our chins up high. We do not let them see. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so humans Can't see through our disguise We pretend it doesn't happen We can't let anyone know Our traitor of a heart Is something we can't show. Would anyone even understand What we hold inside our hearts? Or would we be a freak show A different world apart? Maybe one day we will find one Every single one of us Someone who will understand Someone we can trust.


Details | Free verse | |

Thoughtless

everywhere i go faces looking
people talking
people screaming

the sad faces
in the wrong places

nowhere to go

darkened rooms
horrible dreams

dead memories
still here to haunt me

if you move on 
the past stays 

a man in my dream
what really happened will be revealed

if i were to lie
i would be in shame
as any human would

after a while you stop thinking
and you just move forward
not knowing what the future holds

but knowing its not good

the horror they live in

the horror of war
the horror of the legends the people start
and the horror of being human


Details | Lyric | |

Lost

I can not hope, I dare not dream
I should not speak, for I might scream
So full and yet so empty, this hole I have in my heart
Too weak to hold it together, so tired of falling apart
Memories of the sunshine and a time when I could smile
Was it really so much better then, or was I in denial?
Now I am numb-lost inside myself-and I can't see the light
Where is my will to keep going? Where is my strength to fight?
Never truly feeling at peace, no matter how hard I try
Neve