Sunrise against my neck
that no cheap tan booth could ever match.
I ring the doorbell in anticipation of joy’s injection.
I needed it.
Because I left my cell phone in the car,
as I didn’t want to hear any chimed email
or text annoyances.
And the car just got cleaned,
only for the birds to have their way
on its waxy shine.
Time to grab the flamethrower from my trunk!
But, before I could scream in Braveheart declaration,
there she was.
Her 6 yr old smile,
made of 1/4 inch gaps between innocence enamel,
captured me like no other could.
“Tio”, she preached in angelica sonata.
As she held me,
with puppy love warmth.
Even the rainbows fell to its knees.
She took off my jacket with ferret-like perkiness and
asked me to sit on the floor with her.
But, not before offering to toast me some Eggo waffles
with a big glass of Ovaltine…
…in her Little Mermaid glass,
proudly made in North Korea.
It even had the dictator’s initials and a bucktooth smiley face stamp, signed in glitter
Thank God I just took my online course in Child Safety.
I was ready!
As I sip on Little Mermaid’s curves,
shaped in plastic, swirly straw weirdness,
a sound blasts off from a Barbie radio.
My 2 yr old angel galloped into this heart of mine,
with Tinnitus piercing scream & laughter,
tackling me in Incredible Hulk lunge.
“Hi Tio”, she whispered, before she hopped back upstairs,
laughing maniacally with rapid head tilts, left to right to left.
Boys will fear her.
And I couldn’t be more proud.
After two moments of silence,
my 6 yr old angel places her Dr. Seuss book on my lap,
as she sits in front of me.
“I can r-r-read
with my eye-s
She carefully completed the sentence,
as my eyes instantly fill with leaky pride
and an ingrained smile.
10 minutes later, she shut her book and asked me how she did.
“I am so proud of you my angel.”
“You have come so far.”
I had to hold back tears because I didn’t want to throw her off.
Yet I think she knew,
because she kept her head down and smiled with gentle starburst.
And it was then where I heard her say,
“Those who matter don’t mind,
those who mind don’t matter.”
But she was quiet, looking at me with tilted head & smile.
For it was my inner child,
© Drake J. Eszes
shower curtain’s hiss
wakes me up, wakes us up
king size tent waits
Oh how I love thee with your white and dark meat
Thou art the very best
But because of you, I can’t see my feet
My navel is two feet from my chest
To diet and lose so I don’t wobble no more
I would be very willing
It would be impossible now, because somehow
I finished four bowls of filling
My wife pointed at me and said look at him
He sits at the table, like a dog he begs
I stare at you and your magnificent breast
Can hardly wait to get my hands on your legs
Enough already, I’m on my knees
Give me some stuffing and some black eyed peas
Sweet potatoes, corn and a salad I’ll toss
And bury your butt with cranberry sauce
Oh turkey, my turkey, you’re the one who rocks
Now I’ve gotten so fat, I can’t put on my socks
My love for you was fleeting
And we are finished I fear
But I’ll fall in love with another turkey
Same time next year.
I * * * * To my darling !
I * * * *
I * * *
I * *
I * *
I * *
I * *
I I just want to say: I LOVE YOU!
A-L Andresen :)
Love was in the air when he laid eyes on her.
Childhood; elementary and even high school with her.
Walking towards her, he greeted her.
Anxiety spiraled as he hugged her.
Conversation grew deeper as he sat with her.
Wanting to get closer because he was falling for her.
Another woman called pausing the time he was having with her.
Knowing he had to answer; he stepped away and spoke to her.
She stated that something wasn't quite right with her.
She said that her stomach had been bothering her.
Now he's thinking back if he came inside her.
Thinking if she lied to him about her tubes being tied within her.
Does he blame himself for listening to her?
Knowing right from wrong and yet he can't blame her.
Does he blame the devil for allowing him to be intimate with her?
Is he not a human that makes mistakes just like her?
Begging God to make a way for him and her.
Asking God to forgive him for committing the sin with her.
God said, "relax my son, you were only dreaming of her."
There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'
but when it got little
his pills became skittles
until he O.D.'d on Viagra
© ~JSLambert 2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!
Oklahoma cowboy, tough coal miner’s son
Born in Henryetta, south of Tulsa some
Raised by daddy’s momma, taught him wrong from right
Daddy taught him ropin’, taught him how to fight
Herding made no money, its stock was really down
Mamaw feeling poorly, dad mining at Old Town
Seventeenth of December, in the year of twenty-nine
Dad was shoring timber, 9th west entry of the mine
The gas ignited close to him, he never smelt its breath
It belched out fire and thunder, and everlasting death
Sixty-one they counted, who wouldn’t see the sun
Twenty-five weren't recognized, they buried them as one
On that fatal Tuesday, the boy became a man
Had to make a living, had to have a plan
Heard about the oil patch, got a chance to try it
Drill the earth for all she’s worth; keep it turnin' to the right
Some they called him weevil, some they called him worm
Some they wouldn't speak to him, figgered he was just short term
They told him "Open up that vee door; go to get the key
It's in the possum belly, in doghouse number three"
Took his turns at floor hand, at first a little green
Became the fastest broke out hand the driller ever seen
Morning tour, evening tour, working day and night
Drilled the earth for all she's worth, kept it turnin' to the right
The driller called him partner; the pusher called him son
The other roughnecks shook his hand, and took him in as one
Got up on the monkeyboard; learned to spin the chain
Pumped that mud and shed his blood, and worked right through the pain
On a bitter frosty evening tour, in a cold December snow
He saw derricks lit like Christmas trees in distance far below
He saw the fairyland of the refinery, shining through the night
He saw Mother Earth and the universe, all turning to the right
The oil patch was a hard life, moving all the time
But he saved a lot of money, didn't waste a dime
Morning tour, evening tour, working day and night
Drilled the earth for all she's worth, kept it turnin' to the right
Sent his kids to college, working through the years
One became a teacher, the others engineers
He hung up his hardhat; he shed his steel-toed shoes
Then one day he passed away; he'd finally paid his dues
Made it to the Pearly Gates; they handed him his wings
Handed 'em right back to them; said "I don't need these things.
I want to do some drilling. That's my heavenly plan."
They said "Go talk to the Devil then, cause he's the company man."
Old Scratch needed hellfire; he always come up short
Too many politicians and others of that sort
When he heard they had a driller, he jumped up with delight
He danced a jig, "You've got your rig. Keep it turnin' to the right."
Now he drills for hellfire; in the derrick he's got Jake
Buck and Sam on the platform; Sonny's on the brake
They all grin like demons; they're all where they belong
Doing what they love to do, they sing their roughneck song
"We all eat caliche and drink the devil's brew
Play dominos with Satan and skunk him at forty-two
Work all day on Sunday and honky-tonk all night
We're oilfield trash and we'll take cash to keep it turnin' to the right
We all love West Texas; it's like the Promised Land
Horny toads and rocky roads, and even dunes of sand
Dust storms every morning, northers every night
We get tans and freeze our cans to keep it turnin' to the right"
The lingo used around the rig you won't hear much in church
It'll curl your hair and make you stare and leave you in the lurch
So close your eyes and realize it's gonna get much worse
Drink your beers and plug your ears; here comes the final verse
"We p*ss longneck Lone Stars; we f*rt Frito pie
Give us ****, and we will spit some Red Man in your eye
Don't **** with us, or we will cuss and bring you to the fight
We're low class, but we kick *** to keep it turning to the right"
Coal mining, oil drilling and Hell - Doesn't get much darker and deeper...
Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '
'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust!
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.
'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much,
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'!
Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.
A gentle kiss,
that I really must send
To another true,
and very dear friend
Pucker up babe,
it's coming your way
And riding a storm,
so it should be there today
I licked my lips before I blew,
so I know it's going to stick
But with all the lightning,
it might have a little kick
So when it hits your lips,
it might give off a little spark
Now what started off as a gentle kiss,
might be leaving you in the dark <3
*For my sweety*
The name's Ike.
Some a ya might a met me before,
in my very first write,
and knew me as the stalker with the walker.
"Retired Romance" was the name,
Spoke about meetin' my wife,
She's here with me, name is Jane.
I likes ta call her the Mrs.,
cause I never thought that would happen again.
Now she like ta near smother me with kisses,
but gives me room ta write now and then.
We had us one of them honeymoons,
she says it ain't over yet.
But dang, if'n it ain't over soon,
we'll have ta call me in a vet!
Ennyways, I wanted ta give y'all a heads up
that I'll be a writin' from time to time .
We'd like ta thank y'all for the nice thumbs up,
'bout our first little Retired Romance rhyme,
and let y'all know that me and the Mrs. .. well..
. ..we doin' just fine !
. "Nite nite darlin."
This is just for fun..=)
In the basement of my heart
there is a basement
and in that basement there are two basements.
You open one
and enter the basement
only to find out there is yet another basement
That basements basement
was light and blue
But that basements basement
from basement to basement you walked
until you couldn't anymore
The basements basements
basements basements basements
basements basements basements basement
of my heart.
You found my love...
Mom.. I think I might be homosexual..
CALM~DOWN !.. I just said THINK !..
It's not I fear
My multi~studded ear ,
Or that I look stunning dressed in pink .
I wont complain ,
As I sip champagne
Of my blemish~free youthful looks ,
Or how I enjoy the finer things in life ;
Like fine art , or poetry books .
NO !.. I never joined the Girl~Guides .
You're being silly...patronizingly .
I dont like damp
But I do love camp....
'Specially in Summer , by the sea .
I like being with Brad and Christopher ;
Young Lloyd is such a dear
And Mourice is such a sweet lad ;
Yes.. I'll always keep them near .
But , deep inside my inner soul
When push will come to shove .
For my own part ,
Who has my heart ,
Yes !.. It's Annie I really love .
But one thing that still bothers me ,
And will , until my dying day ....
Is , when on that morn....
Yes!.. When I was born..
WHY ! !.. Did you name me GAY ??...
Darlin I just cant keep a eye on you.
Everytime I stop to relax.
I find were threw.
You say leave but dont go far.
Untill you find yourself my dear.
I'll be down at the bar.
So many moods for such a little person indeed.
Forget me when your pissed.
And call me whenever your in need.
Your love is like a brick.
It really hurts when thrown.
You left me a million messages.
Dear crazy women please leave
You dont know how to act normaly let
alone when you drink.
My darlin you dont need anything except for a
And maybe a nice straight jacket with a muzzle
After you stabbed me lastnight.
You really didnt have to call me in the hospital
and tell me were through.
They say love is sweet but this
seems more like a lemon.
The moral of this story fellas
is dont mess with crazy women.
God’s Cleansing Tool
Cloud-Concerto… How Cool !
Plop-Plop Plopping into Pothole Pools
On the Grass, Pavements and On My Own-Sweet- Fools…
who, don’t have Sense enough, to get out of the Rain…
… I think I’ll go Join Them… Again
Two days without
The biggest jerk I ever knew
Two days without him
God, what am I gonna do.
I'm lost inside this house
going crazy out of my mind
I don't know what to do with myself
Exasperated for hours at a time.
I'm not spilling tears
Just awaiting his return
I'm not feeling fear
I'm just lonely for his arms.
Out the window
My eyes continue to gaze
Searching for his car
Looking for his face.
Headlights pull in
Flashing at my eyes
My heart beats harder
My spirit lights afire.
My feet moving
of their own accord
Barreling into his arms.
Like the light
On a sunny day.
Fireflies of sapphire
Twinkling in the dark
Like a diamond heart.
Touching and rubbing
Feeling whole at once.
Lips busying themselves
To smother with a kiss
Where does it end
Where does it begin.
Two whole days
Without the biggest Jerk I know
I don't want to do it again
I don't want my love to go.
I do not know?
I never wanted it to be this way, I never wanted to feel the pain. Bruises all over me.
Invisible but I can see them.
You hurt me everywhere. My heart is shattered and the blood has frozen. But I won't be
Stare at me like this all you want. Try and hurt me with your words just as long as you
don't use fists.
I don't ever want to be your victim. I refuse to be one of those few girls who end up
losing their whole world.
Love isn't supposed to hurt, but maybe I was just naive because the moment I loved you my
heart never stopped bleeding.
I won't be your victim, I won't run away. If you have something to say I won't avoid it.
I'm not scared I can take whatever you try to throw.
Don't hold back I promise you I will not cry. The moon is shining just like all the
diamonds that you called pretend love I can't even imagine why I fell so hard.
It's never clear until the glass of water is gone. But now that you've gulped me to the
last I want you to know I won't be your victim.
I kissed vulnerability goodbye the very last time I cried over you and I won't be your
victim your not even worth it.
If you feel like you must shove a door in my butt but don't make me afraid because I
don't want to be I don't want to be your victim.
Let go of my hand so I can peacefully drive away if you want me to I can drive over you
as well. But don't make it seem like i'm causing you pain because it's obvious to see
that I've been a victim and it's a shame.
But I don't want to be it anymore then you so just let me go and I won't have to run. I
promised you forever I laugh at this now you were never eternity love in my mind.
I kept counting until the madness in ourselves would corrupt. Tears flash down my eyes
as I speed down the lanes. Two bottles of Gin and I think i'm going insane.
It wasn't until I crashed into a tree that I realized I was never your victim I was
merely your suicide mission.
I do not know?
There you go again doing things that you are not suppose to be in and then you look at
me like oh i'm so sweet if you only knew I can be a freak without showing it. Here they
go listening to the rumors but i'm your friend so in the end I know that they are true.
How could you do that with him and her and they were on the ground you were pretending to
pick up gum? You need to be safe, making out with strangers girl I aint no saint but god
what are you doing? I don't want to see you years from now telling me you got aids, I
worry about you and I feel like your special so I even wrote about you come on look how
much you mean to me. You like him I get it but how many other guys have you liked in the
past. He's your only, he's a phony make sure he's not just in it for the prize because
girl you never know some guys are. It's the truth and you need to listen, I don't mean to
sound bossy but soon enough your name is going to be posted on all the bathrooms walls.
Telling things that you haven't even done yet. But you will front about it, Lie again.
Telling everyone it's happened how do we know what's real or fake. I love your
personality I wish I could steal it, Your loud, and flirty, daring and smart girl you got
too much heart to be showing it to everyone who wants a sip. this is for all the nasty
girls out there who think I don't know what i'm saying just ask anyone of them who are
dead now or are on the streets prostitiuting. Don't be afraid to be a freak it's healthy
but sometimes it's better when it's secret closet freaks have more fun.
Shhhh…I say to myself
as I watch your naked dance silhouetted by the firewood!
Ooooh….baby that’s it right there
I know you're gonna feel so good!
Sssss….oh come here
and give it to me like only you could!
Mmmmm….I can’t wait to taste
you like Little Red Riding Hood!
Uhhhh…I lower you onto my lips
just as I always should!
Oouch…The heat is too much
once again you are misunderstood!
Fffff…You are way too hot; I’m warned to cool you off first,
my weakness is withstood!
It finally happens from all those gasps;
sweet surrender now has us as one.
Get your minds out the gutter.
While eating a slice of pizza I burnt my tongue!
~GOTCHA...LOL...YES SOUPERS I DO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR~
~I HOPE THIS POEM DISPELS THAT RUMOR~
~MY MIND IS SIMPLY TWISTED WORDS JUST GIVE ME THE BENDS~
~I HOPE I MADE YOU SMILE FOR THAT IS WHAT THIS MESSAGE SENDS~
~PEACE LOVE AND SOUL~
~:) ROGER :) ~
So you want to get to know me, ok, well here goes.
Most of it's in my poetry, but I may have left something out, who knows?
For the last twenty years, I've been wearing Nike high tops that are black.
They're alot easier to clean then white ones, that is a definite fact.
My friends all seem to like me, and I greet them all with a big smile.
I've met alot of them through a life of partying, but now thats been over for awhile.
My favorite book is the bible, because whenever I read it I learn something new.
My favorite movie I couldn't really tell you, since I have seen oh, quite a few.
My favorite song is from Tim McGraw, it's "Live Like You Were Dying"
In a funny kind of way it refreshes my soul, and I usually end up crying.
Favorite singer I don't really have one, so I guess it would have to be myself.
Because I just love it when I sing all the words, and don't need anyones help.
My hair is a dirty blond thats straight,short and very fine.
It doesn't have a single curl, and I know it's all still mine.
My favorite shampoo is Pert, it leaves my hair so silky smooth.
With the fine and thining hair that I have, it's the one I prefer to use.
My favorite food is pizza, but fresh baked bread is my favorite smell.
If I had a food I'd eat everyday, that is the one that would put me through hell.
I have everything I need,with only a few things that I dislike.
The only thing I want or really need, is the love of my loving wife.
Contest:All About ____???
My cousin shared her wishes and dreams,
On our star gazing night, she whispered them so sweet
As a shooting star glided down from the sky,
She said, I wish ….. I wish…. all I wish are these tonight
Someday, I will marry a smart, rich and handsome guy
And have a grandiose banquet on my nuptial rite
We’ll be dancing like a lovely prince and princess ,
With all my wedding sponsors on their best suits and dresses
All in pink ,that’s the motif I will surely request.
She kept into her dreams as several years passed by,
Still searching for her prince charming who’s hard to find
Unconsciously going beyond the age to give birth to a child,
In a hurry at age of seventy, she took a rich ninety years old guy.
The wedding was held after a day or two,
The guy seated on his wheelchair with rheumatism on his toe
She headed slowly at the alter to accept his shaking hands,
Two nurses followed, so with sponsors dressed up in printed brown.
The highlight of the wedding rite started at once,
They held tightly with a nebulizers on the other hands,
But the words of oath, they took time to pronounce
False teeth were both misplaced and nowhere to be found.
Reception followed grandiosely in the guy’s mansion,
I saw many old men and women still eager to dance on the floor,
With hunched back, shaking knees, they twisted rock and roll
Then, sweet music played and my cousin danced with her groom.
But, we all wondered how did he stand alone?
He’s so heavy , I knew my cousin couldn’t help him at all,
With our great surprise, his nurse was at his side like his crutch
Everyone thought , he’s really a smart guy! Was he not?
Then, everyone followed them so happily on the spacious hall,
And in trio, they held each other so tight and moved like a fool.
Written: Sept. 15, 2012
Contest: My Cousin's Wedding (funny poem)
Contest Judged: 9/30/2012
Poet Sponsor: Joann Grisetti
My adored is here, Oh Vincent!
Charming with your perfume's scent
not minding if it costs just 50 cent.
Wishing to lean on you
and form a crescent
on your well endowed body
which is like an expensive present.
Stealing a kiss from me is decent
but pulling me back
and forcefully keeping my legs bent;
even with my resistance,
you would not relent
makes you a pathetic Dog 100 percent.
And I am regretful of my time badly spent.
I escaped, when you were a little complacent
as you rudely smiled
like a badly trained Adolescent.
And all these while,
I thought you were innocent.
How dare you try to penetrate
without passing through my consent?
Now that the beast in you, you represent,
the only thing I have to say to you
For who is this poetry destroyer
A cop, but who else would employ her?
As she spies no end
No poet, she pretends
Vanilla ice in leopard skin fur.
You ask If I want mommies hug
wouldn’t that be nice, lovely and snug
You just want to hold me
Under that great oak tree
And kiss me on your picnic rug
You want the vultures to enjoy
My sweet flesh, is that your ploy?
Wanting to be them
Eyeing up my sweet gem
Tell the truth, you just want a toy boy
Well our future together would be bright
Injets, pens and cartridges in sight
You’d color me in
Goodness what a sin
As I would always do the best write
Hang up your gloves as your are weak
You are also classed as an antique
A low blow I know
Don’t cry, don’t go
You can come back with a new technique.
If I don’t hear from the poetry cop
I will know I have come out on top
Good bye little girl
Give us one more twirl
Now, this should be the final full stop (.)!
P.D, this is the first one ive done. Took me a while. Very good fun though. I kind of limit’s
Back in those heavy times when everything was so far out
Our words were but a whisper, the mans were but a shout
Flower power was spreading, and everything was out of sight
Preaching peace through out the days, and gettin our groove on into the night
But we were always gettin hassled, by the fuzz, the man, the pigs
They didn't want us smokin doobies, and flashin peace signs, can ya dig?
Then peace and love had flourished, we needed to get funky and do our thing
We needed a place to get our groove on, so the discos were the scene
The threads we wore back then were styling, some were off the hook!
It's hard to believe with the slim bread we made, we could carry that funky look?
Bellbottoms, platform shoes, and jump suits people were a cravin
Boogieing away the nights in the discos, where the lights were just a blazin
Then the foxy chicks started getting pregoed, and the discos no longer Dyno-mite!
Men needed to start makin more bread, and trying to live the family life
But gigs weren't easy to find, and life became somewhat of a drag
Some of the dudes skipped town, leaving the foxy mamas holding the bag
Well thats the skinny of the seventies, the lowdown of peoples ways
So keep on truckin all you cool cats and foxy mamas
And remember all those ~Freaky, ~Far Out, ~Out Of Sight days
This is going to be a secret funny tale
not told before,but now I must tell
some soupers are sending me sweet soupmails
as if they are in a journey with me in love rail
or taking me to a love island on a sail
and they are doing it constantly without fail
of course they are not male but female
till now they are thinking that I'm a male
I think it is my name that leaves a manly trail
though never did I mention that I am a male
enough is enough and now I am going to unveil
who those soupers are to turn their faces pale.
** Do not forget to read what Andrea Dietrich wrote in her
poem "A Soup Tragedy" in reply to this poem.
My darling enigma, my dove
You’re the epitome of my love
Your smile shines at me pearly white
Pale skin shines and glints in the light
Silken locks, obsidian flow
Eyes just like ice, crystalline glow
Peals of laughter ring like a bell
Enchant me; I’m under your spell
You walk with a musical flow
Tiptoeing with softness through snow
But, alas, you open your mouth
Utter tripe spilling out
If only you’d keep your mouth shut.
(Love from Anonymous)
Abusive soul who tormented my heart
I didn’t wait for us to drift apart
I found inner strength at last
So don’t look at me aghast
You’re merely a crumb on my heart’s pie chart
A defumigator removed your scent
Into the trash all your hunting boots went
And those ghastly deer “trophies”
Ablaze with your spoiled green cheese
Your firearms too in the bonfire were sent
Valentine, let me give it to you straight
Goodwill came by for the very last crate
Maker’s Mark* for the homeless
Now that’s ironic justice
Hope your new home in the tent is just great
You wrecked my car and destroyed my credit
So you got off easy from where I sit
Not that you had much to lose
Just hair, weight, someone to use
Cupid aims, may your hemorrhoids get hit!
*Maker’s Mark is expensive whiskey
Entry for Sidney~Lee Ann’s valentine to an ex-lover contest
Written January 17, 2012
I called upon yonder window
That was up to high for me to be
For my maiden gracefully sleeps there
In her bed,beside the sea
I asked her to come hither
For her beautiful face I yearned to see
Twas yawning in the morning dew
As she slowly came to the window for me
To my amazement came forth a ragged wench
Whos hair was as raged as the sea
With eyes that were burnt as nightposts
To bloodshot and squinty to even see
For this was not my fair maiden?
Whos beauty would forever be
But a drunken harlot who came hither
That she spent the night with instead of me
My heart now broken to pieces
Wondering how could this tragedy be?
For my maiden now sleeps with a harlot?
Without the love that she once gave to me?
My mind was now enraged
So I dashed for the wrestling sea
With thoughts of drowning this useless body
That's no longer good enough for my maiden to see
With water just over waist height
And a large wave about to crash over me
I heard a calling from yonder window
Twas my beautiful maiden as I turned to see
Her beautiful eyes in such distress
Her beautiful hair flowing so care free
Twas the beauty of my fair maiden
That I had called upon yonder window to see
For the thoughts that raced through my mind
Evidently,weren't truely what happend to be
For it was her promiscuous sister
Who had come from the other side of the sea
My heart now rebuilt with a sigh of love
A large wave suddenly crashes over me
The last thing I saw was my fair maiden
As my lifeless body is carried out by the sea
when you're in love
you write really bad love poetry
when you love a woman
you want to relive with her
every great moment you ever had
both of them.
clouds look like hearts, and a few look like ducks
you know, quack, quack ducks.
if you love someone,
you walk into the wrong house
you stain your tie during lunch
you walk into people
(a big guy peoples, he's not happy
you run...really fast)
to a man in love
roses look perfect
even if they're tulips
you build a white picket fence
with the pickets wrong side up
when you love someone
you take out the trash
from someone else's house
when you love someone
you quit your job as a superhero
you get rid of your trusty sidekick
you give away your bat mobile
you give your arch nemesis the bad news.
you write goofy stuff,
and mickey stuff too.
i'm in love
so i write really bad love poetry
i'm in love,
so sue me!
Shall I compare thee to your mother's arse?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her clothes hath all too short a rent
Sometime too hot-headed of hell doth burn,
And often is the true nature exposed;
And every foul from fowl; my stomach churns,
By reason, or by nature's raging closed.
But thy infernal diet shall ne’er start
Nor gain possession of which now I grasp;
Nor shall we meet again; let’s stay apart,
When in eternal sounds the voice does rasp,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives this, and I bid thee goodbye.
Driving my kids crazy
Every day and night
Because my mind is hazy
Nothing comes out right
Still, I keep on teaching
The foggy lessons in my head
At the end of all my preaching
There's but one thing said
"I know what you are saying...
You said that yesterday."
In their heads their praying
I will go away
Still, they do consult me
When they are truly stuck
But, if I get to wordy
They'll be out of luck
The message will start hazing
From their doe-eyed sight
This act starts with a glazing
Of eyes and face and light
I see their minds have left me
They are waiting out their time
And if, they ignore me
It is a small crime
I know my kids all love me
And I feel just the same
Still I hope they'd all agree
In this there's no blame
And so I may keep yapping
Each and every day
But If disaster's tapping
I'll be on the way
I just want to guide my kids
Not drive them away
As I watch them roll those lids
I see the end of day
Okay, I'll be quiet now
No more torture, pain, or strife
And if, you'll just show me how
I'll go e-mail my wife