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Limerick Women Poems | Limerick Poems About Women

These Limerick Women poems are examples of Limerick poems about Women. These are the best examples of Limerick Women poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Your Sweet Sexy Smell



An obsession with the ladies I'll surely admit And the sweet sexy smell these sweeties emit Love every one Totally come undone When you touch my parts, it flips my switch © Jack Ellison 2015


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The Raghead Nazi Limerick

Raghead Nazis are really not all that bad.
They treat womenfolk like worthless crap and that is very sad.
They like to stick dynamite up their own asses
In order to blow up kindergarten classes.
Then again, maybe the dirty stinking rats are indeed all that bad.


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How to give a guy a premarital suitability exam

Before the "I do" she must choose
A man that does well in dance shoes
His psyche gives a clue
When employing step two
Ply him to the limit with booze


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The poem in the mind-2

The poem in the mind

There is  only  enough space in my mind
For just a poem and there you I find
Can’t think of another thing
My mind singing what you sing
To all else except you I’m rather blind.

I know you are an involved mom of six
And what toll it takes bringing up those chicks
On your spirit and body
Your life was never gaudy
But the essence of such a  gracious mix.

Adorable are your traits which are rare
Attributes, six, are your  children so fair
They are love, care and beauty
Passion, power and frailty
Here’s  the perfect woman beyond compare.


@ 23 feb 13

S.Jagathsimhan Nair

Entry for PD's contest on 5 mar 13


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Misplaced Concern

I become quite vain when around pretty girls.
And a whole flock of them makes my head whirl.
Attempting sensitivity,
I asked one, "Do you have a disease?"
She said, "I was fine a moment ago, but NOW I wanna hurl!"



NOTE: This was based off a true story (though I exaggerated it slightly, for the sake of having it rhyme and fit with the limerick). I came into work one day and noticed one of my co-workers didn't look so hot. I was concerned and said, "Are you feeling alright today? Did you sleep well?". She just looked at me and said, "I'm quite fine, Timmy. I've actually had a full nine hours sleep... I just didn't take the time to put my make-up on this morning". Needless to say I never quite heard the end of it...


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THEO-OLIGARCHIC HAPPENINGS IN SLOVENIA


URAN'S WILLY

Taking sides in discussions holily
About whether Uran used his willy
Means you're trapped in their game -
Either side is the same:
Cock distracts, cash departs, crowd stays silly.



Story:
http://www.sloveniatimes.com/scandals-in-the-slovenian-church-to-go-on


The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand interprets important Slovenian affairs for the non-Slovene speaking world. 


www.maria.si


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The Ginger Monster

Oh! but the jealous thing                                                                                              She has eyes flaming green                                                                                       How to quench what hell spurns                                                                              Where envy and mischief does burn                                                                         Revenge on her lips she's an Irish queen


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Limerick: Once a Woman-Cleanser in Malawi

Limerick: Once a Woman-Cleanser in Malawi

     for Seodi White

Once (a) Widow-Cleanser* in Malawi
Insisted (on) being paid double fee
The dead man made certain
Left gift (on) this side (of) curtain
Now Cleanser on (the) dole with H.I.V.

•	The “Widow-Cleanser” is a Malawian professional
“intermediate husband” of widows imposed on women
who cannot – under the laws of Malawi -  own anything
legally, EVEN their bodies. The Woman-Cleanser sleeps 
with widows for a fee ($50/-) in order to prevent widows
and future husbands – from being polluted by the dead
husband.
This limerick dramatises facts divulged in a CNN interview with 
valorous women-rights lawyer: Seodi WHITE on March 17, 2013.

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2013


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Dying to Meet Women

There once was a man on the beach
Hoping for women to meet
      To try to look thin
      He held his breath in
And passed out dead at their feet.


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It's a Myth, Women do like Spiders

The woman who dreamt of a spider
Awoke to find it inside her
With a scream and a yell
she thought, " oh! what the hell"
Eight hands, oh my! what a provider









http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-6.php


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If You Don't Want to Sit This One Out

If You Don’t Want to Sit This One Out

It’s more than a domestic conflict cliché
It’s a fact that a female can’t stand the way
That the tall standing males
Each time simply fails
And the floor and the seat gets the spray

But you can’t blame it all on the male
Science has proved that a trail
Of liquid much more than mere inches
No matter how much someone pinches
Will bounce until it simply sails

So men – here I must be precise
If you don’t want to sit, than be nice
Take a step to the right
Aim it downward just slight
Pay heed to your uncle’s advice

For the angle of impact’s the key
As to just where the entry should be
Hit the side of the bowl
Down that side it will role
And how happy your woman will be

Uncle Mike



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Never just a woman

A Woman  is never "just a woman"
Helps man turn a house into a home
With sexual desires
To keep your hopes afire
Always will be Queen of your throne.


Penned June 1 2015



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Our Lost Women

The oldest trade in historical times
In many places it still is a crime
     Defrocked from their gowns
     Some even took it lying down 
It's the sad ladder of life some climb






http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/life-11.php


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THE SECRET OF WOMEN

Upon arriving at her home,
Tell her she is beautiful like rome.
This will get her to smile
And be worth while.
So through the night, you can roam.


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HIS and HERS - limericks

HIS  and  HERS - limericks


HERS

SWEET MOLLY SHE SET OUT THE BAIT
ORDERED A DRINK FOR THE WAIT
LIFTED HER SKIRT
FANNED SCENTED FLIRT
WHILE WATCHING THEIR EGOS INFLATE



HIS

Young Buster was full of himself
a bruiser devoid of all stealth
he measured his worth
by its length and its girth
had it bronzed and put on a shelf


John G. Lawless
7/17/2015


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Duel

I think the truth is always right.
Duel, measuredly I do count my steps.

Tired eyes, yes, the night was sleepless.
I hope the God will not leave me in the wrong.

My opponent, accepted the challenge, did not blink.
Bustling I always respect the bravest.

Yesterday's evening among the tipsy revellers,
May come up today with fresh blood pouring out.

Helen,please forgive me, later you will understand,
The hot breath only the bullet can cool up.

The day begins, my time has come...
But the coming up evening, I hope, will be starry ....


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OCD II

Most compulsives have never confessed
There are thoughts with which we're obsessed
Our inner vision
Views with great precision
The women our eyes have undressed