My favorite cousin named Marge
is almost as big as a barge.
So one would assume,
not knowing the groom,
the guy would most likely be large.
But he was a small man named Tim
“As thin as a broom” describes him.
While Marge would guffaw,
Tim would watch her with awe
and just smile for he was so prim!
When the preacher addressed him and said,
“You may now kiss the bride,” Tim turned red,
for their lips could not meet.
With high heels on her feet,
Marge stood towering over his head.
She leaned down while Tim stood on his toes,
but for being in such a strange pose,
Marge then came toppling down
crushing Tim neath her gown
while the whole church erupted in “Ohhhhh’s.”
All was well, and thereafter, we ate;
then we planned next to dance until late.
But none could foresee
the small tragedy
that had us all leaving by eight!
Marge had tossed off her heels for a glide
on the dance floor, but when they both tried
to dance, Tim got snagged
by that dang gown and dragged
as his bride was beginning to slide. . .
Now shoeless, poor Marge could not stop.
Toward a table with candles on top,
they slid, and the groom
then set fire to the room
by landing with a belly flop.
Poor Tim by the candles got lit,
and we were all having a fit,
for the fire got spread fast
till the Best Man at last
got us all wet extinguishing it!
Inspired by the title of the movie: My Big Fat Greek Wedding
& : Joann Grisetti's "My Cousin's Wedding" Poetry contest
Copyright © Andrea Dietrich
An outdoor wedding, no sign of rain
The bride’s gown had a 10-foot train
Crossing the lawn to her bequeathed
Fido snatched the train in his teeth
And Pop watched eight grand go down the drain
Copyright © Carolyn Devonshire
Is never a crime so earn me awhole.
For all whom thoughts were crack in noon,
And still do not think is right left being dumb.
Would in pre-nuptial undertaken sauntered, when lifted'd had imagined what the world is of its own. If it's a wistful pan of several host or A spiteful mine of volcanic tusks?
Copyright © kelechi Emeaba
Pride & Arrogance’s Wedding
Pride was looking for a partner to share his life.
He found Arrogance and asked her to be his wife.
This would be the grandest affair no one could beat.
Anybody who was somebody would fill the seats.
Sarcasm would be the maid of honor Arrogance’s best friend
While Pride’s buddy Boastful would do the honors of stepping in.
Pompous, Pretentious, and Presumptuous found their places
While Vanity and Bossy were screaming in each other’s faces
Smug walked by with Snotty his wife of many years
As Arrogance’s mother Egotist tried not to shed a tear.
As Arrogance came in the room all stopped and stared
To witness true love Pride and Arrogance shared.
Pride took Arrogance by the hand to the alter
Looking stiff and stoic like the rock of Gibraltar
The wedding was beautiful but just a little odd
But everybody knew they were like two peas in a pod
They now live in a town called Imso Crass.
While Arrogance works hard Pride sits on his ass.
Arrogance, if she only knew her fate with Pride
She would have never agreed to be by his side.
But now there’s a baby whom she must take care.
Little chaos born on her birthday they now share.
Copyright © Erin Soares-Anselmi
In the month of February 'twas fate
We chose our special wedding date
A love, I cannot explain
Couldnâ€™t wait to take his name
So why do I still hyphenate?
By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, January 30, 2012
for Linda-Marie's February Funny Bone contest
First place finish
Copyright © Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
We went for a walk on the beach
His hand for my hand did reach
It seemed like forever
A marriage proposal he did beseech.
He spoke again said you’re squeezing my hand
As my feet felt like led in the sand
I stopped in my track
Felt my smile crack
Then he showed me the wedding band.
I could no longer contain my feeling
Inside I would have hit the ceiling
Of course I said yes
To his great request
And now my heart he is stealing.
For contest “Loveland Limerick”
Copyright © Brian Magness
I woke up in rapture, when she started to sing.
Naughty whispers in my ears, “Someone’s coming”
My ecstatic view;
A child is due!
Then she continues, “My mother’s visiting”
Copyright © Nitesh Aggarwal
The bride-to-be set the time and the date.
Now she is the one an hour and half late
The wedding guests are curious.
The bride’s father is furious.
The wedding is now on overtime rate.
For contest "My Cousin's Wedding"
Copyright © Joyce Johnson
Just out of college, we would yearn for a touch
Sleeping together cuddled on the couch
Those were the days!
Of pre-wedding bouquets
Now I am told to go sleep alone on the couch
Copyright © Nitesh Aggarwal
Once upon a time, thirty years ago,
In front of a priest I stood with my beau.
“Over time”, he hailed;
“The secret will be unveiled”,
“Of a truly happy marriage”; but I still don’t know.
Copyright © Nitesh Aggarwal
a beautiful love shared by two
bound in Gods word near the ocean of blue
happiness did begin
together until the end
as she softly whispered "I Do"
Poet Rick Parise
Copyright © Rick Parise
I once dated a man named Larry
He one day asked me to marry
Though he was a real honey
He hadn't much money
So, I wed his cousin Harry
Copyright © Vernette Hutcherson
It's not her style to walk down the aisle.
Father and parson its sure to rile.
But all of the people
down under the steeple
will smile at her elegant abseil.
*Abseil - rappel down a rope
Copyright © John Smith
Fly me to the moon
Play us the bedroom tunes
The nod-nod head of lovers’ hoots
Let’s twirl this tango as David in jolly mood
And coil in celestial honeymoon cocoon.
Copyright © Prince Agba
Stylish Zelli's shoes are unique,
they stand out in my neat boutique;
what a distinguished look
in a suit nobody took...
green cognac is gorgeous and chic!
Copyright © Andrew Crisci
A baby, pious, was born by aide
He named it Gaias, and felt like a jade
While he cried,
Cause mommy died.
His wife hired yet another maid.
Copyright © Nitesh Aggarwal
She cried at the wedding ceremony
Happy tears, like beautiful peonies
They didn't wed
Like she had said
So she won a ton of U O Me's.
Copyright © Theresa a.k.a. Reecie
(Based on Photo no. --- ps__JT76945.jpg)
Your lovely brown eyes,
In love of which one dies,
They have got something tempting,
And I may be attempting,
From my dream, to rise…
Your sweet black dress,
Makes me crazy more or less,
I can make you out in queue,
And I can’t live without you,
But often, who are you is what I try to guess…
I am butter and you are my knife,
You are my dearest life,
You are my life’s cause,
But due to my memory- loss,
I just wonder; “You are my wife?”
Copyright © Anjali Mishra
It is an important cake that I had to bake with out a rake so that it would be
real It has a special filling that the groom himself requested and has not been
tested a flavor that is also a favorite of mine no matter where I dine even with fine punch It must not even come close to being dropped nor even flipped
It is a family specialty both with and with out the decorations with not one
splotch not one drop of scotch although my watch seems to have been some
how misplaced plus every step retraced although perhaps it’s in the van with the
pans of sandy ham maybe even on the can of Pam- wherever it is I can not put
down the cake to look
My book when last seen was next to the cake which was nowhere near the
hooks my watch may have been there too when I was using my decorating tools
with out boos but wherever my watch happens to be I am grateful I have not run
into any yellow bees I hope I am not late regardless of the fee because I have to
make a delivery even if for free
Well whatever the time even if I only get a few dimes and limes this is a
special occasion so this better be the right destination regardless of
instantaneous regeneration of plants with out procrastination or any kind of
hesitation despite some close calls that would make it resemble the leaning
tower of Italy here comes the wedding cake!
Copyright © John Long
My wedding ring fell in the toilet
So I asked my wife if she'd boil it
It then burnt my hand
My own wedding band
For she thought that I asked her to broil it
Copyright © Larry Belt
I once, led a very dull life!
Had lots of trouble and strife!
Then I got some advice,
didn’t have to think twice,
it was suggested, I needed a wife!
For a while, my search was in vain!
For what reason, I couldn’t explain!
I just couldn’t find,
what I had in mind,
it was always, the same old refrain.
I kept trying, though I had low esteem.
And my patience, was weak so it seemed.
Then one day, without warning,
it was early one morning,
I encountered, the girl of my dreams!
Turns out, we just couldn’t wait,
and soon we started to date.
Right from the start,
she stole my heart,
I discovered, it’s never too late!
Now, I was bursting with pride!
At having her here, by my side!
So we purchased some rings,
and a few wedding things,
and soon, she was my blushing bride!
The best day of my life, I must say,
no doubt, was my wedding day!
My love, I can’t measure,
she’s my most, valued treasure!
God willing, that’s how it will stay!
Copyright © RALPH TAYLOR
She wed a wealthy man named Harry.
Now, people call her greedy Mary.
It really isn't funny;
She married for his money.
Copyright © William Robinson