I hear you mom is a hooker
She used to be a good looker
The booze she did find
It was real unkind
Must have got out of the cooker
Hiding in mummy's tummy, kicking happily away
I'm kissing you warmly, clapping and singing in play
They say in a few weeks
I'll be able to kiss your new cheeks
I can't wait for the morning I'll lift you in a sway
Johnnie Kenner was sitting on the pot.
He was constipated and getting very hot.
Johnnie got frustrated and began to yell and shout.
His mom gave him some laxative to force the feces out.
All heck broke loose and Johnnie overflowed the pot.
Twas the week before Christmas,
And all through Wyoming.
I was looking for another way,
To greet all my homies.
I in my jacket.
Ma, in sub-zero,
We drove to the local sandwich shop,
For a hot melted hero.
Two for the road,
I exclaimed to the gal.
Make it snappy,
Before Ma gives me hell.
We were back on the road.
Quicker than quick,
Then Ma yelled, STOP!
They forgot the Garlic.
So back to shop,
We rushed right away.
Only to find,
They done closed for the day.
Well, need be I say,
Ma was more than a little upset.
So she wrote "You A$$H@les" on the window,
With her hot melted wreck.
I watched Ma kicking and screaming,
as the officers dragged her away.
So I waved and I shouted,
"They say you'll get out, on New Year's day.
Guess you won't be needing that Christmas present?
I'll exchange it for ya.
Love ya Ma."
The queen of birds Sari dear lived in the mango tree
I asked her to come down and take a saree from me
She asked wide-eyed the price of it
I said,”Sari, you’re a cute tweet”
She made faces, chirruped short, and flew to the next tree.
A saree is a South Asian female garment that consists of a drape varying from five to nine yards in length and two to four feet in breadth that is typically wrapped around the waist, with one end draped over the shoulder, baring the midriff.
Sari came down and sat on the bay window
‘Dad’, she said,’ you must chain the devil Frido’
“He is a gawky brute
Just now he ate up a coot
He needs your boot and a slap on his credo”.
Sari tweeted my wife” O mom, don’t pinch my behind”
My wife re-tweeted,” Sari, You are not of this kind”.
“Sorry to say you have no proper bum
So, Sari, how can I be a pinch bum?”
Sari re-re-tweeted, “Mom, a lie, my bum is twined.”
Sari came one day with his creaky husband Suk
“Dad, teach Suk a lesson, he must know how to cook"
"Sari, my darling, you’re a sweet fraud
Don’t crook Suk’s head with a teaching rod
Better teach him how to fly by hook or by crook"
Sari, my daughter, in mid September, gave birth to a girl
She was a ball of furry delight, eyes were pacific pearl
I said, "Sari ,you are now a mother
So you must not be antsy like other
Sari hugged her child,said”dad, no worry, she will be a whirl"
I start my life out everyday ,Often in the same ol' way,
I eat ,
I bathe and crawl back n forth, Some days , I ride my rocking horse,
But nothing prepares for mt goal,
Oh my !! Do hurry I want to roll,
My wheels are the whitest , I have seen,
My spokes are the shinest , Oh how they beam,
I do love summer time,,
My shocks are the raddest, They bounce and they bounce,
My ride is way to cool,
I can't wait till ,I get to school,
I have to check my get and go,
Sometimes, Mom is kinda slow,
I coo and I coddle so she gets some gas,
I really want to get there fast,
My diaper bag packed and ready to go ,
We are the hippest , I want to roll,
We stroll right by the other rides, Mine is the Coolest mom confides,
I bounce and I giggle all the way to play !
OH My , what a wonderful day,!
Limerick: Once a Mom Tigress spurned her lame-born cub
for Commandant Cousteau’s son
Once a Mom Tigress spurned her lame-born cub
Wild Life Champ admitted cub to his club
Took cub under his wing
Till she could wildly spring:
Club members now learn to swing the knobbed club.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Mom had saying; I found out was true
She had many; but this one will do.
Locks keep out the honest.
Thieves will reach the harvest.
Thou shall not steal, some never got clue.