For BigFoot I searched everywhere.
In all the Northwest, he’s not there!
Then I thought I might know
where a BigFoot might go . . .
so I went where the barbers cut hair!
To fit in and be like the rest
of us humans, he’d look his best.
so I went to each shop
where I thought he might stop
to have hair removed from his chest.
To Hollywood soon I was led.
I’d heard of a man with a head
like a wolf’s, full of hair,
making everyone stare.
What I found was Hugh Jackman instead!
Then a man I could not see too well
crossed my path at a fancy hotel.
When I got a good look,
that was all that it took!
It was furry but small, Steve Carell!
The last guy I saw in that land
of Hollywood stars acted grand.
That guy, very hairy
made Big Foot less scary.
He went by the name Russell Brand.
From Hasselhoff to Bradley Cooper,
some hairy guys are super duper!
I kept at my quest
when to the southwest
I moved, for I’m always a trooper.
I searched high and low, five years more,
but by then, I had grown very poor.
I had always liked shoes,
so thought I would choose
a job in a classy shoe store.
Like Carrie in “Sex in the City,”
I loved my work, and I looked pretty
with swank heels on my feet,
yet I felt incomplete
There was no Mr. Big! Such a pity!
But while working one day without care.
I looked up Can you guess who was there?
This odd creature so tall
made Shaquille look too small.
And he hardly could hide all his hair!
No fresh smelling flower was he,
but kindly I sensed him to be.
As I stooped down to put
my hand on that Big Foot,
I knew fate had led him to me!
Written by Andrea Dietrich
There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'
but when it got little
his pills became skittles
until he O.D.'d on Viagra
© ~JSLambert 2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!
Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '
'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust!
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.
'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much,
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'!
Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.
Spooks were making love their bones were clattering
Fresh in after death sex they were a prattling
They missed the first session
How to spook the passion
And slipped to their graves skulls down saber rattling
Spooks were making love© Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty 14 November 2014
Charmaine is the sweetest young lady
But her wee one's been driving her crazy
She can't keep up
It's overflowing her cup
She's really not getting a lot of sleep lately
© Jack Ellison 2015
Two poets who couldn't agree
Raise their voices to their loud pleas
One wasn't able to stop
His zip open, out pops!
Haha, it's a pea, not the size of a tree
©J. A. Fraser and O. E. Guillermo 15.18pm, April 07, 2015
Theresa Marie lives in the cold frozen north
To venture outside she bundles up of course
With parkas and mukluks
Though temperatures sucks
This hearty young sweetie ventures forth
© Jack Ellison 2014
Her name is Laura, she blows me away
To describe her, a sweetheart, in every way
Probably three times her age
But no matter what stage
Always feel young when she visits my page
© Jack Ellison 2015
He held my hand, not one word was spoken
Then a ring he offered as a token
He could not ask for marriage
For fear I might disparage
His eyes conveyed sentiments unspoken
* Entry for Adeleke's "Unspeakable Love" contest
Through the window I looked one day
At a poor lassie in troubled display
She stood high on a chair
In such a terrified stare
Shouting "Oh! please, please go away"
I needed to view this even more
Running round I looked in the door
So afraid in her house
Of a little door-mouse
Sweat was running from her pores
So being the gentleman that I am
To get this damsel out of this jam
I said "Hey! furry dude
Please don't be so rude
For your scaring this poor little madam"
So I gently picked up the door-mouse
And kindly removed from her house
Her tears turned to joy
Throwing her arms round this boy
Not long after, she became my spouse
Who am I, oh, who am I?
Just a poser child Borderline?
A series of bold contradictions
Led on by doctors false predictions
Diagnosing all the time...
Angry outbursts fill the air,
Throwing objects everywhere,
They drug me up, because they're lazy
It's too much work to help the crazy
I hate the pills, but they don't care
Take the drugs, and you'll feel better,
We'll smoke some bud, and chill together
But even if I smoked the weed
Surely that's not all I need
The lovely high won't last forever
I get attatached to everyone,
But when they get too close, I run
So many arrows in my heart
Cupid shoots, but then I part
Not phased by all the wrong I've done
So put me on more medication,
I'll throw in some dedication,
But even then it's not enough
This emptiness is still too tough
All that's left is contemplation
For who is this poetry destroyer
A cop, but who else would employ her?
As she spies no end
No poet, she pretends
Vanilla ice in leopard skin fur.
You ask If I want mommies hug
wouldn’t that be nice, lovely and snug
You just want to hold me
Under that great oak tree
And kiss me on your picnic rug
You want the vultures to enjoy
My sweet flesh, is that your ploy?
Wanting to be them
Eyeing up my sweet gem
Tell the truth, you just want a toy boy
Well our future together would be bright
Injets, pens and cartridges in sight
You’d color me in
Goodness what a sin
As I would always do the best write
Hang up your gloves as your are weak
You are also classed as an antique
A low blow I know
Don’t cry, don’t go
You can come back with a new technique.
If I don’t hear from the poetry cop
I will know I have come out on top
Good bye little girl
Give us one more twirl
Now, this should be the final full stop (.)!
P.D, this is the first one ive done. Took me a while. Very good fun though. I kind of limit’s
On Valentines day you broke my heart.
Having an affair wasn't too smart.
Something inside me died.
"Forgive me", you cried.
"Without you I will fall apart"
From your tainted love I have flown.
You thought I wouldn't make it on my own.
Now you see you were wrong.
Without you I am strong.
I would have left sooner had I known.
I bet you wish that I was still yours.
Life's so much better since I closed those doors.
Life is now sugary sweet.
Breathlessly swept off my feet.
Captured my heart is a man who adores.
Written by: Cecilia Macfarlane Jan 27/12
For Sidney ~ LeeAnn contest : A Valentine Limerick
Abusive soul who tormented my heart
I didn’t wait for us to drift apart
I found inner strength at last
So don’t look at me aghast
You’re merely a crumb on my heart’s pie chart
A defumigator removed your scent
Into the trash all your hunting boots went
And those ghastly deer “trophies”
Ablaze with your spoiled green cheese
Your firearms too in the bonfire were sent
Valentine, let me give it to you straight
Goodwill came by for the very last crate
Maker’s Mark* for the homeless
Now that’s ironic justice
Hope your new home in the tent is just great
You wrecked my car and destroyed my credit
So you got off easy from where I sit
Not that you had much to lose
Just hair, weight, someone to use
Cupid aims, may your hemorrhoids get hit!
*Maker’s Mark is expensive whiskey
Entry for Sidney~Lee Ann’s valentine to an ex-lover contest
Written January 17, 2012
Their once was a girl in love
She knew he was sent from above
They danced, they sing they did everthing
But then he deflated in the tub
Do you love me?
or love me not?
You told me once,
But i forgot.
So tell me once,
and tell me twice,
and i will tell you,
that i love you.
I do believe,
that God above,
for me to love.
He chose you out,
from all the rest,
because he knew,
I'd love you best.
My tour made me really content
I was pleased with where I was being sent
The Air Force said go
I couldn't say no
so over to Scotland I went.
The tour could not have been better
I knew SHE was the one when I met her
It really was strange
How my whole life would change
cause I knew I would never forget her.
My time in Scotland I'll never forget
I've never been to a nicer place yet
I bought home a wife
she's the love of my life
so to Scotland I owe a great debt.
Is never a crime so earn me awhole.
For all whom thoughts were crack in noon,
And still do not think is right left being dumb.
Would in pre-nuptial undertaken sauntered, when lifted'd had imagined what the world is of its own. If it's a wistful pan of several host or A spiteful mine of volcanic tusks?
Just a text to say i love you
I cant help it there's nothing i can do.
You are my best friend
And my love for you will never end.
I just want to know if you love me too
Splendour smooth sound that sounded severally sometime ago,
Smoothly stealthy sensating my soul.
Sound sounding second by second significantly,
saying ''I love you Thabiso'' not even swallowing a single saliva spit.
Sweet semibreve singsong sounding siphoned from sun set side.
Sexy but not sex slavish,
Just sound sizzling like a snake hizzling.
When slamming slang its signs that theres something serious.
Smooth sound not simple to slay or slip someone slow or solvenly.
Slender with smashing smile and sound splitting my feelings into smithreens.
Soften sonare that sneaks me sodden,meaning saturated.
Souvenir sound deserving sovereign.
Sound sounding smooth like special strings playing in sovereign's ceremony,
spick and span spontaneously stabling spirit putting stamina,
not from stammer but someone stimulating,stupendous,streamlining.
Stereophonic sound that makes me sweat.
I'm not swagging its just that i still remember her sweet swansong swaying
systematic sound as if it sounds from someone from synagogue.
Since from this voice appeared in my dreams.
I stoped snoring and started to have sweet dreams in my sleep.
You will never know when its the end,
but after telling that''I'm in love with the voice''its the end.
This was just a deram
Linda the queen of Winda is in the swing of moods
She keeps the little dove on swing, on her eggs she broods
Little dove gives her a letter
God has written “you’re go-getter"
And soon you'll be better “the dove's eggs are your dudes"
The weeny dove goes to the queen with the full of beans
Eggs are brattling love is crackling and the dance begins
Dovelets jump to the queen's lap
Sweet queen Linda, you’re not in trap"
"Snow is melting; God is pelting love at your sheens"
Queen of Winda, sweetest Linda sits on a satin
In the light of candle her tresses glisten in preen
Dovelets dance around Linda
And Maramba and Bellinda
With a kinda smell of river Linda goes to teen
Contest: Fighting Depression(poems for PD)
Sponsored by: Shadow Hamilton
WE ARE PRAYING FOR LINDA.ALL ARE PRAYING FOR LINDA.PRAYER HAS CONCENTRATED POWER. THE PRAYER WILL MAKE LINDA OKAY.WE ALL LOVE LINDA. LINDA IS LOVE. MAY GOD GIVE HER INNER PEACE. SANTIH SANTIH SANTIH
She raises her goblet to the moon while standing on a sturdy bridge
Here’s to you my effervescent friend, we’ll be together till the end
Way too many heart breaks
She pulls out all the breaks
But the moon stays still for she has her own story her own shiny tune
You cannot make her go away, she has way too much panache n’ stay
She closes her eyes to the moon while offering up a cease fire tonight
Here’s to a solitary way, perhaps there is a new love round the bend?
She drinks the potion
With mixed emotion
But the wanderlust of the night gets the best of her, she’s bathed in light
Yonder dreams come to life and she hopes with all her might
He arrives carrying a red rose of the truest shade and drinks the remains
The sky begins to dance with velvet hues of midnight blue as if on cue
LIVE LOVE LAUGH
ORDERING THE MOON TO SHINE
VERILY SHE SAYS TO HE
ETERNITY IS IS TO BE, NOW KISS ME LOVE AND SET ME FREE
And the moon stays still as she sings her shiny tune
And the moon has will, after all she is the winsome moon!
Love and Light,
By: Mystic Rose for our one and only Skat….xxx
May 02, 2015
Seats twenty-four B and twenty-four A
were filled by Lori and Harry one day
on flight 104
when fate played a hand as they say.
Lori and Harry's romance in the skies
began when they looked at each other's eyes
air got hot very quick
burned like coals on hot brick
In their looks one could cook burgers and fries!
As the love-bugs sizzled first class
the stewardess made a quick pass
by them under blankie
to check hanky-panky
but concluded — nothing too crass.
Lori and Harry were really fired up
they sipped love’s nectar from each other’s cup
although she was wary
she said Yes to Harry
dreaming of wedding before they could sup.
Lori and Harry, though locked in embrace
saw a man with a mask on his face
which doused their fun
like a turned-off sun
An airplane hijackin’ was taking place!
The hijacker became quite distracted
when he saw how Lori and Harry acted
Lori punched his guts
Harry grabbed the putz
the hijacking was therefore retracted
Lori and Harry became heroes
hijacker and friends became zeroes
The Captain them wed
and "I-do's" were said
they were rewarded with plenty dineros.
09 June 2015
Once upon a time in the land of Jack
Appeared young Laura, now fancy that
Such pride and joy
Feel young as a boy
The decades that separate us don't mean a whack
© Jack Ellison 2015
Shelia is so fine,
She smells like wine,
Or maybe whiskey,
Real cheap whiskey;
But she is so fine.
There once was a monkey named Frank
Who loved to walk the plank
He said too many jokes
Pulled too many hoaxe-s
Ha! Ha! Ha! Then he got a good spank
Who's that monkey in front of me
I dare to hang with you on a tree
Oh! What I do? Will you do?
Together we are like glue
Is that my flea or your flea?
~ Skat ~
Prettiest girl I have ever seen.
She looks just like a movie star.
Men come from near and far
To get a glimpse of sweet Josephine.
~Born of kingship that shall never expire
Of eternal kingdom I shall be heir
With cosmic mind I do have an aspire
~My positive trait with which I relate
`Tis my I am love, I abstain from hate
I am my brother’s keeper
I’m cheater of grim reaper
I love my-self, my eternal soul mate
~Born to be king, of this self I rejoice
Creature of love, I was given a choice
Verily you too
Pending you pursue
Shall we all rise up unison in voice!
Written by: John Moses Freeman
For and in Honor of: Kristen Bruni
And Contest: “Love Me Why?”
There once was a garden in Thomaston
But all the hidden flaws show now in sun
Bombarded by winter cold
Delicate Easter dress bold
Became frozen, tattered, falling undone
Now that lovely garden in Thomaston
Back in early spring's golden rays of sun
Rose blooms, tulips open tips
Flawless are flowers no thrips
Remember Rose Trellis_ love's embrace spun
Ice cream is a delicious delight,
I eat it most every night.
That's probably why,
My weight is so high,
But I won't stop eating one bite.