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Limerick Life Poems | Limerick Poems About Life

These Limerick Life poems are examples of Limerick poems about Life. These are the best examples of Limerick Life poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Limerick | |

Sweet and Salty -LIBRA TALE

      LIBRA  TALE

Sweet and Sour hectic sign
Love me, trust me, the stars align
   Balance of truth and dare
   Good and Evil, full of care 
Blind when it comes to blood line


 
:) PD


Details | Limerick | |

Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!


Details | Limerick | |

Princess Needs A New Car

Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '

'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust! 
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.

'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much, 
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'! 

Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.


Details | Limerick | |

I Met This Charming Moonbeam Last Night

The arms of the willow started to sway
and this curious glow rippled my way.
While flirting with my feet,
nature played a song so sweet.
The lake our dance floor 'til the sun's first ray.


Details | Limerick | |

Sandy Helps Dandy Randy

There was an old codger named Randy
He rolled on the beach and got sandy
It was there that he slept 
and remained so unkempt
But was sure that his life was so dandy.

Then along came a lady named Sandy
She wanted so much to help Randy
To soften his heart,
she played a big part,
But refused to give him some brandy

Now Randy began to awaken
And  realized that he was mistaken
He thought no one cared
Because no one dared
to approach him, and now he was shaken.

So then, he got up from his stupor
And started to become a good trooper
He began to help others
who didn’t have mothers
From then on his life was just super.


Details | Limerick | |

Borderline Poster Child

Who am I, oh, who am I? Just a poser child Borderline? A series of bold contradictions Led on by doctors false predictions Diagnosing all the time... Angry outbursts fill the air, Throwing objects everywhere, They drug me up, because they're lazy It's too much work to help the crazy I hate the pills, but they don't care Take the drugs, and you'll feel better, We'll smoke some bud, and chill together But even if I smoked the weed Surely that's not all I need The lovely high won't last forever I get attatached to everyone, But when they get too close, I run So many arrows in my heart Cupid shoots, but then I part Not phased by all the wrong I've done So put me on more medication, I'll throw in some dedication, But even then it's not enough This emptiness is still too tough All that's left is contemplation


Details | Limerick | |

Tainted Love

On Valentines day you broke my heart.
Having an affair wasn't too smart.
Something inside me died.
"Forgive me", you cried.
"Without you I will fall apart"

From your tainted love I have flown.
You thought I wouldn't make it on my own.
Now you see you were wrong.
Without you I am strong.
I would have left sooner had I known.

I bet you wish that I was still yours.
Life's so much better since I closed those doors.
Life is now sugary sweet.
Breathlessly swept off my feet.
Captured my heart is a man who adores.


Written by: Cecilia Macfarlane Jan 27/12
For Sidney ~ LeeAnn  contest : A Valentine Limerick


Details | Limerick | |

rock paper scissors

You used to be my strength, my rock
I looked to you for comforting thoughts
Till you thinned like paper
Your caring tapered
And like scissors you cut me off



Received 1st place in PD's "rock paper scissors" contest


Details | Limerick | |

PamelaKaye

There's a gal named PamelaKaye
Her writing style, poetic buffet
A sweet Texas tart
Who has a big heart
And a buttocks the size of Bombay


Details | Limerick | |

Slams Destroyed Her Head

Slams Destroyed Her Head

She was slammed by slam poetry, boo hoo!
Some folks wondered about the hullabaloo.
When bombarded with dread,
Sad thoughts destroyed her head.
Now, she thinks she’s a blithering cuckoo!

© July 17, 2010
Dane Smith-Johnsen


Details | Limerick | |

Don't Disturb The Hive

Run, jump, scream, duck, dodge and leap 
Try to stay on your running feet 
Honey in the hive 
The bees are alive 
Run, jump, scream, don't fall and leap!


Details | Limerick | |

Just Desserts For Unfaithful

.
  Any pretty woman turned his head
  He liked them all so it is said
  Then one day to his surprise
  They no longer caught his eye
   His sexual desire totally died


Details | Limerick | |

Time Heals No Wounds

You’ll find us tied up with regret
We elephants never forget
This isn’t myth bunk
Thoughts can’t stay in a trunk
But play with the brain’s tape cassette 


Details | Limerick | |

Cheaper To Keep Her (Divorce Club)

(Haiku)- * Motive, infidelity messing with the Queen Bee's Honey*

Queen Bee sits on throne,
Bumble and drone bees as one
Sample flowers dew

------------------------

(Limerick) - *Admission of guilt leads to compensation*

Indeed this is how the story unfolds,
Pete said, "It's a poor rat with only one hole"...
Love had taught a sad lesson;
Divorce court was now in session,
Judge rules favor, Pete's pockets full of holes...

----------------------------

(Couplet) - *Take vows seriously payback often belongs to Spouse - Queen Bee*

Love said, "Pete too late you've opened your peepers"....
"Man, you should know it was cheaper to please her"!






Submitted for P.D.'s Divorce Club Contest (Haiku-Limerick-Couplet)


Details | Limerick | |

Scratch Off Lottery Ticket

There is a certain kind of game to play
It states that you can win in any way
Scratch off the secret spot
Thinking you’ve won a lot
Disappointed, you lose every penny

Russell Sivey

Entrant into Susan Burch's "Lottery Ticket Limerick" contest

1/2/2012


Details | Limerick | |

My Best Characteristic

~Born of  kingship that shall never expire
  Of eternal kingdom I shall be heir
     Very characteristic
     Everlasting statistic
  With cosmic mind I do have an aspire
                       ~
~My positive trait with which I relate
`Tis my I am love, I abstain from hate
     I am my brother’s keeper
     I’m cheater of grim reaper
  I love my-self,  my eternal soul mate
                       ~
~Born to be king, of this self I rejoice
  Creature of love, I was given a choice
     Verily you too
     Pending you  pursue
  Shall we all rise up unison in voice!

  Written by: John Moses Freeman
  For and in Honor of: Kristen Bruni
  And Contest: “Love Me Why?”


Details | Limerick | |

Undone Hidden Flaws

.
There once was a garden in Thomaston
But all the hidden flaws show now in sun
     Bombarded by winter cold
     Delicate Easter dress bold
Became frozen, tattered, falling undone

Now that lovely garden in Thomaston
Back in early spring's golden rays of sun
      Rose blooms, tulips open tips
      Flawless are flowers no thrips
Remember Rose Trellis_ love's embrace spun


Details | Limerick | |

A Good Day

A Good Day
Dr. James E. Martin
©December, 2012


The day is going to be good.
This thought is well understood.
No need for worry
Nor running from things furry
That monster is made out of wood.


Details | Limerick | |

Serial Killer A Limerick

There once was a serial killer His life was one sickening thriller From the bodies he’d saves And the ones in the graves His life was one bloody chiller Tho his mental state wasn’t quite normal And his social skills never that formal He loved people to pieces Even after life ceases With dead bodies he does like to dabble Now that sounds rather creepy you say That killing is how one spends his day While it’s not quite a profession More like an obsession In the end they’ll come take him away
AgMoore©
Authors note: This was done as an exercise, we were given certain words (a wordle ) and it was the writers choice what form to put them in and how to use them.


Details | Limerick | |

I'll Vote My Way, Thanks!

I will not be dismissed as a dunce,
lumped together by Gallup or Luntz.
I will get out and vote
without need to emote
and defy every pollster for once.


Details | Limerick | |

Slammin' Slammers

C'mon all you slammers, take your best shot
I'll tell ya' once more (In case you forgot)
Already kissed the canvas
Had my ass kicked to Kansas
You kiddin', that's it? Is THAT all you got?


Details | Limerick | |

Joe Who?


The ball was loose and bouncing
Joe dove towards it, just missing
The clock ticking down
Just then, Joe had found
His football skills were lacking


Details | Limerick | |

The New Job

The New Job
Dr. James E. Martin
©December, 2012


He started his job at six,
He was ready to enter the mix.
He lost it as seven,
Not his view of heaven,
So now it is back to the sticks.



Details | Limerick | |

Wonderful Star

                                   There once was a wonderful star 
                                 Who thought she would go very far
                                            Until she fell down
                                         And looked like a clown
                                   She knew she would never go far
                                     She would land near the moon


Details | Limerick | |

Cellblock Follies

The homophobic banker he was penned
That careless fool was found to misspend
He thought prison would be cake
Until he met fat old Jake
Now he has got a hairy boyfriend!









Details | Limerick | |

My Life

born in Stuttgart Germany
that was the start of my journey
with many years of stuttering
today just poems I bring
I’m always doing rhyming
life never a agony


Details | Limerick | |

An Angel

Last night as I lay in my bed
An angel appeared and said
Your life will soon end
I am sent as a friend
To a new kingdom soon you will be led

Say goodbye to all those you hold dear
Tell all they must not shed a tear
For your passing will be
Liberating and free
With my lead you will not have fear

In life you have suffered too much
Soon you will walk without need of a crutch
In the kingdom to come
You won’t limp you will run
With the help of the lords gentle touch

So I wait for the day to draw nigh
Though I know lots of people will cry
With happiness in my heart
I will gladly depart
Heavens waiting there for me to try

The angel at last has drawn near
He offers a new life so clear
With a silent prayer 
I climb the golden stair
Halleluiah the angels all cheer


Details | Limerick | |

Pickles And Tickles FAST Food.

We cook it ! Feel your tonsils tingle!
Add mayonnaise, lettuce, a pickle.
Lost both tonsils at ten
so can I ask you when
my change comes to more than a nickle?


Details | Limerick | |

Her Voice Say

.
               

                     When tired from sweeping with the storebought broom
                                  I'd lean against not wanting to resume
                                       Momma said, "Nusing your bab?"
                                     I would sweep, under breath crab
                        Now would love to hear her say,  "Clean your room!"






(Momma would say nusing not nursing..Bab is instead of baby..)


Details | Limerick | |

Beers and Tears

Men measure life by the number of beers
Women measure life by the flow of tears
It is when the dad farts
His wife moans in her heart
Because her own children laugh and cheer

Edward J Ebbs
Limerick Contest - I am not a beer drinker :-)


Details | Limerick | |

Your Reflection

I see through your reflection A heart of pure affection A signal to me A love completely I never saw rejection
Entrant into Michael J. Falotico's "The Reflection Contest" contest 10/24/2012


Details | Limerick | |

Black Friday

<                     ladies ~ gentlemen ~ start those ...... engines
                         miss  ~ Ho ~ down - prices .... would be a sin
                                        best buy - circuit city
                                   black ~ friday .... how pitty
                        5 am ~ now ~ who ~ wears ~ smiling ... grins 





                          k- mart ~ wal - mart ~ target ~ pennys
                              red tag sales of many and plenty
                                 but you must buy in bulks
                        and ~  get ~ guy ~ like ~ the ... hulk
                to ~ push ~ cart ~ while ~ you ~ chat ~ with ... jenny




                         let's ~ all ~  hop ~ on ~ over ~ to ~ I - hop
                         your one stop for christmas breakfast slop
                                sure pancakes sounds yummy
                                     but wait till hits tummy 
                                 be sitting on stool till it plops




Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's
Commericialized Holiday Humor Contest
Gl All And Happy Holidays
Love Kathy & Jenny


Details | Limerick | |

Aries

There once was a proud Aries like me,
whose impatience kept from being free.
But all my pride inside
never had the chance to hide
the goal of winning confidently!


Details | Limerick | |

Secret

I search for happiness
But never found it again
Though it will be pursued
It will never be attain

I got lost a long time ago
And I give my heart away
It’s been broken to badly
It didn't mend up till today

She left me alone in the dark
Didn't wait to see if I was alive
alone i suffered everyday waiting
For peace of mind to arrive

And it never did came
I would lookout the window
Asking god to please help me
And just make my misery go

But the goodness in life
Has turns his back on me
And left me stuck in a time
To suffer for eternity

Why she walk out the hospital
Why couldn't she see my pain? 
Didn't she care that she might?
Never see me alive again

Now I’m scared for forever
Domed to face the world alone
Never will find a resting heart
And for ever my soul will roam

My heart is empty 
But fill with love to give
But who is going to love me
A man who’s badly defective

So the long road of life
I must travel without love
I know my mother loves me
That the only love, I’m sure off

I wish to find love again
But afraid to get rejected
Then my heart will be broken
And die when it gets infected

Right now I love some one
And keep it secret
And talk to her everyday
But will never reveal it

Will always keep her in my heart
But can never have her in my life
And I know one day I will die
If she becomes another one’s wife

And through this lonely journey
Will have lots of obstacles
Some times when I get tired
I have an ice cream Popsicle


Details | Limerick | |

Best Revenge

Who in the hell do you think you are?
What I let you put me though is bizarre.
When due lesson is learned.
Where sanity is earned.
Why I'm so happy is now my victoire!

5 W's contest
Sponsor: Harry Horsman


Details | Limerick | |

Deal Or No Deal

<                             Once was a gal shopped all garage sales
                               Nuts ~ bolts ~ screws ~  all found in one big pail
                               Husband said had nice rack
                               Wife turns ~ gives him.... good smack
                               Loaded - buckshot - and - boy - did - he .... wail 



Written by
Katherine Stella 
9/8/2012                              
                             
Entry For
Skat's
A Poets Garage Sale
GL ALL


Details | Limerick | |

A simple truth

There once was a girl from a grotto
Who lived with a very short motto
Live and let live
Be happy to give
Life’s joy is not winning the lotto


Details | Limerick | |

Bow Pow

<                                    cakes and sausages on hot griddle
                                      uncle Leroy's dam dog just piddled
                                      slipped ~ slide across floor
                                      grabbed shotgun by front door
                                      now dam ole dog just plays an fiddle 



                            bow bow bow bow bow bow bow        bow ~ wow 
                            ow ow ow ow ow ow ow                       bow ~ ow 
                            with   tail    between     own  ~              legs 
                            now    dog    sings  ~    and  ~               brags
                            about cousin's daisies's  bad                 bow ~ pows
                  
                                                                                        
                                                                                     


Entry For John Freeman's
Slapstick Limerick Contest
Gl All

Poor Ole Dog LOL


Details | Limerick | |

Umbrella

I had a great job
I had a pretty girl
I was moving up 
Slowly in this world

Had a good position
In the factory
And was working 
For a very good salary

Then comes the war
And things got tough
They close the factory
And at home it got rough

I thought that her love
Was my umbrella 
And when there’s bad weather 
In her arms I would shelter

And umbrella can do a lot
When you are in the rain
It can keep you dry
Until the sun comes out again

For me it seems like hard times
Had just began to pour 
And my pretty umbrella 
Had holes I never seen before

The fancy dinners we had
Now become burger king
And I guess she never love me
Just the gifts I would bring

And I brought home a pizza
And she didn’t take a slice
And when I try to hug her
Her arms were cold as ice

One day she went out
And she never came back
And when I look in the closet
She took every last rack

But what can I do
Sure I’m not the only one
Who lost their job?
And their woman was gone

Always know I had an umbrella
Now I don’t know what to say
When comes the rain
She just up an flew away

But I know the time will change
And so will the weather
And one day there will be some one
Who wants me to be their umbrella?


Details | Limerick | |

Oh Well

Bill stared at a cute butt going by.
Wishing he were much bolder, he sighed,
"I would give all my pay
To roll that in the hay."
But looked up to see 'she' was a guy.


Details | Limerick | |

Volleyball

  There was a time when I stood tall

             Especially in college, playing NCAA Volleyball.

   Oh, the trips we went on to the various meets

             Winning and losing in those much vaunted heats.

   We weren't great then, now I can't jump at all.


Details | Limerick | |

IS IT RESOLVED

The holidays are a time when we hold loved ones close

making New Year's resolutions to be better and not so morose.

With trimming the tree,  the gifts, the cards, the good wishes for all

Spending too much time and money at the mall.

Our hangover on Jan 2nd makes our resolutions go out the windows.


Details | Limerick | |

A Whole Week Color-Mania

Colors will always make my  life happier,
They also make my whole world brighter
       What if there’s no color?
       I think,  I’ve  no life galore
And I cannot make myself much prettier.

So, I’ve got a more fantastic idea,
To show everyone my color-mania
     For Monday Luck,  I wear red
     From my feet to my head
Like a  dragon of New Year in China.

Then comes the next day, it’s Tuesday
Keeping  aura,  I’ve color of sun ray
    Yellow dress  and jewelries,
    They say,  I’ve  hepatitis
But, I don’t care no matter what they say.

Then comes the third day of the week,
More work are done making me weak
    To conceal my exhaustion 
    Green color shows pretention
That my life and vigor are still at peak.

Thursday comes so perfectly great,
I wear purple , also my favorite
    Purple  fingernails and lips,
    Its on me up to the tips
And I get smiles from whoever I meet.

Friday, the last day of my  office work,
On this day,  rainbow color over perk
   I use multi-colored things,
   Feeling of joy they’ll  bring
 No one says I carry myself like a quirk.

Saturday and Sunday are weekends, 
Still, work and activities never end
    Two days, I’ll be all in pink
    People see me can’t wink
Tickled pink that I look so young my friend.




Sept. 22, 2012

First Place
Contest: Colors
Judged: 10/15/2013
Sponsor: Poetess Skat


Details | Limerick | |

Dan of the Land

There's a man named Dan of the Land
His poems humorous, never bland
With a flick of his wrist
He writes prose with a twist
From a mind that is always unmanned


Details | Limerick | |

Hey Fancy Face


____________

Suzie sure did love technology
especially cosmetology
when Botox became her friend
each wrinkle it did mend 
now she's a part of biology
____________



Details | Limerick | |

Beach Proposal

We went for a walk on the beach
His hand for my hand did reach
Walking together
It seemed like forever
A marriage proposal he did beseech.

He spoke again said you’re squeezing my hand
As my feet felt like led in the sand
I stopped in my track
Felt my smile crack
Then he showed me the wedding band.

I could no longer contain my feeling
Inside I would have hit the ceiling
Of course I said yes 
To his great request
And now my heart he is stealing.


For contest “Loveland Limerick”  
JT76945
Brian Magness


Details | Limerick | |

Sure Ain't as Bad as I Thought

I just hit rock bottom I fear
(That landing sure tore up my rear)
Don't know which way's up
But hey, ya' know what?
I'm starting to like it down here


Details | Limerick | |

Life

Climbing the ladder of life,
Sometimes entails much strife.
One step at a time,
Continue to climb,
And never complain to your wife.


Details | Limerick | |

These Colors Don't Run Limerick

<                                 once were twin towers on horizon
                                   bombarded by Al Qaeda what sin
                                   then came many heros
                                   lost too at ground zero
                                   America's flag still flew in wind




In Loving Memory To Those Lost
On 911 R.I.P. You Are Not Forgotten


Details | Limerick | |

Pink Joy in Dedication to Ezzelle

Many congrats to Royal Trevino
And to Ezzelle, her new born bambino
She'll be so bonnie in pink
One day she'll make the boys wink
I toast with a Chardonnay vino






Details | Limerick | |

What is it all about

After life's most noteworthy prize
All must reach a final demise
This was their best love
Say the wise from above 
Large pizza and super-size fries 


Details | Limerick | |

The Naked Truth

<                                our top story tonight is Lawyers
                                  a pain in the ass and real spoilers
                                  with  fancy cars homes suits
                                  fifteen hundred kaboot
                                  rather hire cowboy wearing just spurs






Entry For Carolyn Devonshire's 
Lawyer Limerick's Contest

GL All
                                  
                                  


Details | Limerick | |

Psychotic Nature Unveiled

Buried deep in psychosis it rotted
All the while it schemed and it plotted
   When faced with the truth
   Its responses uncouth
The nature of it had been spotted


Details | Limerick | |

Plain Computer Talk

”. Errors, error, press on “any key
Yes our minds are a clutter you see.
I told you what to do.
Now you are turning blue.
No” any key” shows itself to me.


Details | Limerick | |

Fire In The Hole

<                                        once there was ten devious children
                                          oh how they did a poor little sin
                                          brother had passed some gas
                                          they lit match to his ass
                                          dam dog was even wearing a grin






Entry For
John Freeman's
Giggle Poetry Contest # 2
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Valentines Day


I'm absent of love this Valentines day
the clouds above have all turned to gray
I guess I"ll  dine alone
for you won't answer the phone
I promise this year I will pay






_______
Contest
_______
   LOL


Details | Limerick | |

Through The Eyes of A Twin

Through The Eyes of A Twin
(Faux Limerick)

Sometimes I wonder is it just me
Visions in my head that I can see
Fear grips at me so strong
I thought boy this is wrong
Rebuking Satan told him to flee

I went to the windows looked outside
Then moved from room to room with great stride
Oh girl you need to quit
Was I having a fit
I began to pray fear didn’t subside

In my mind I was seeing this attack
Just stood still didn’t know how to react
Lord where did that come from
Why did I see this harm
Was I having an awful flashback

Continued to pray and shook my head
May be it was something I had read
These thoughts I did not need
They just could not proceed
An attack I would certainly dread

A week later on I got this call
My twin began to explain it all
The vision did occur
What I saw was a blur
As she spoke all I could do was ball

Over the miles I had heard her scream
The attack was broken in midstream
Through my eyes I could see
The Lord had heard my plea
Now I see it was not a daydream

When Spirit lead we must intercede
For there just may be an urgent need
We must stand in the gap
Stop Satan in his trap
The Lord will answer our prayer indeed






Details | Limerick | |

Some Limericks...

She’s out there chasing a cricket

Through bush, through shrub & through thicket

Together they hop

Fugitive, cop

But when she gets it, she just wants to lick it!
 

A cat whose vet took his eye

Just cannot quite understand why

His eye’s been enucleated,

3-D vision reduciated,

So now, he keeps an eye out for an eye

 
Ya gotta keep limericks loose

Think green eggs, or perhaps Dr. Seuss

They’re structured, it’s true,

But they’re also a zoo

Whose tenants are all on the loose!


I frolic in fountains of words

Overflowing with serious absurds

Each poem I write

Wakes up and takes flight

Joining angels and faeries and birds

 
You ask that we write a good limerick

How to do so, I haven’t a glimmerick

So I struggle and frown

Teaching  poems to clown

So a smile on your lips will be shimmerick

 
A cat with a mouth full of mouse

Brought her feast right into my house

She played with her food

Who was not in the mood

To be a banquet of mouse in the house

 
The nightmares that shadow my sleep

Stampede the proverbial sheep

Right out of my mind

When I try to unwind

I find my appointment with sleep hard to keep

 
In her search for original truth

She met people unsavory and couth

She knitted and purled

But only unfurled

Yarns told by new age and old youth

 
Cat, suddenly pink,

Drinks her water from out of the sink

She looks so absurd

Since she’s been de-furred

I really don’t know what to think!

 
If one and one is two and two is four,

And there’s only two ways to go through  a door,

Then, is earth up or down?

And, where is down town?

These are questions we need to explore!

 
A was that is an is

Tried to mind my biz

But I sent it packing,

Its presence was lacking

And I don’t have time for such shiz!


A couple who lived in Los Lunas

Loved the wide desert sky’s crystal blueness

They’d stare at the air,

Over here, over there

And rejoice at the feeling of newness

 
A cat with a very fat gut

Found it easier to walk on his butt

He’d drag it around

Across carpet and ground

And use it to slam the doors shut

 
Said the Missus to her dear Mr. Otter,

“There’s something I think that you oughta

Do before we get old

To protect us from cold –

You oughta make the hot water hotter!”

 
The ghosts who live up in my attic

Make noises that sound much like static

I’ve tried to send them away,

But they’re here to stay,

Those staticky ghosts in my attic


Details | Limerick | |

Where Fairies Play

The forest has an area with some light That beams in through the trees at night This is where the fairies play Charging their powers at day So they can boast of their lovely sight
Russell Sivey


Details | Limerick | |

Lemmings never pay the phone company

"Tree huggers” use AT&T
The human cost catastrophe
On the horizon
Like text from Verizon
Is sent with the speed of 4G
 
Pollution's still booked at no 
cost
And Earth’s expenses neatly tossed
Off the balance sheet
With a "Sprint" so complete
The effects on nature seem lost 

Yes EPA rules do offend
Those who crave Earth’s wealth without end
They claim to hate debt
But have seen nothing yet
Like phone bills "T-Mobile" might send! 


Author's note:  It seems ironic and strange that debt haters (like tea party supporters, for 
example) and those who are pushing more reliance on fossil fuel and less "subsidy" for 
renewables (Romney/Ryan for example) support the continuation of policies and 
practices that will damage the environment and that will hurt future generations.  They are 
pushing growth and not pushing conservation.  I would have more respect for them if 
they talked about the costs as well as the benefits of their plans.  I wonder if it might just 
be a scam to reward large corporations for the short term and stick it to the rest of us for 
generations.  That would be nothing new.


Details | Limerick | |

A Distempered Horse

There once was a skinny horse name George.
Poor ole soul lived alone in a gorge.
Three fit sheep came his way.
They were traded that day.
Matted, bony, his belly engorged.  

Onward He forged, living on the brink.
I’ll save him, one young maiden did think.
Head hung; life was his game.
George, his infamous name.
She prayed; from his needs, she did not shrink.

George would not drink; lips were cracked and dry.
She asked God, “Please don’t let him die.”
Water was his kismet.
Sweet feed filled hope’s bucket.
She cut out mats; whisked away each fly.

Six months later, George was still alive.
Lips were moist; he ate; began to thrive.
With some flesh on his bones,
And relieved of his groans,
The day of her moving would arrive.

The time came when George had to be sold.
Half Arabian, not very old
Registration papers.
The old trader’s capers,
You promised them, the young girl cajoled.

How could he live; does he have luster?
Papers lost; no death by distemper.
Confessions on that day,
The girl went away.
Compassion to the horse did whisper.

New owners bought him, his health still poor.
His price and potential was the big lure.
They quickly changed his name.
Greener pastures, the game.
Star’s beauty became his life’s encore.

© June 7, 2011
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: A Horse Story 	 
Sponsored by: Carol Brown

(Based on a true story)


Details | Limerick | |

Oh Snap

<                              amidst afternoon's summer's pose / nap
                                are nana's two little handsome chaps
                                logan and just lucas
                                bonded secured by trust
                                brotherly love now don't make me snap
                                                          
                                                                
                                
                                
                                
                                 
                                 
                                                           
Written By Katherine Stella 5/15/11

Entry For Miranda Lambert's
Brotherly Love Contest
G.L. ALL


Details | Limerick | |

Portrait of Mr F Shui

Written by Gail DeBole on February 4, 2013

A man with the name of Feng Shui
Arranged his life in a Qi-loving way.
Full of sweet harmony,
And life planned to a “T”,
Bad Karma didn’t “stand” in his way!


Note: Part of the Portrait Collection


Details | Limerick | |

All In The Family

<                          once Edith laid her hot iron flat
                            husband Archie called her his dingbat
                            then son-in-law ~ meathead
                            put iron on dam bed
                            boy fire did make Jefferson scat





Written By 
Katherine Stella 10/30/11
Entry For Techno - Limericks Contest 
To Be Co-Judge  G.L. All


Just Gotta Love That Archie LOL

Note Please Never Leave Your Iron On
Can Really Ruin Your Day Yikes


Details | Limerick | |

Fish Out Of Water (Pisces Dude)

I once knew a compassionate man
who couldn't survive on dry land

    he was sensitive and kind 
  helped me find peace of mind

with him a spiritual quest began 





Pisces Freak I Am 
March~17th


Details | Limerick | |

Me Verses Me

Who is that staring back at me
Go away on the count of three
Do I know who you are
Can I wish upon a star
Questions of who I should be

Not just demons do I fight
Thoughts drift easily through the night
Myself against me 
Trying to break free
To do what I know is right

Written by: Shannon Deane
Written:  June 28th, 2011
Contest:  Myself Against Me


Details | Limerick | |

Subversive Valentines Day

Once I had a girlfriend and ex-wife.
Two ladies at the same time in life,
Mistake I made this day.
Not proud in anyway.
First mistake, second retake in strife,

Girlfriend I gave flowers for the day.
Ex-wife and I married, oui evay,
Messed up my life again,
Not knowing where I’d been.
Girlfriend forlorn, wrong card I did play.

Ex-wife left me, I got just deserts.
Got what I deserved for all my flirts.
Valentine’s Day, bad karma,
Cupid dealt me, my dharma,
Disengaging me of all subverts.


Written for

Sponsor Francine Roberts 
Contest Name Valentine's Day Limerick 


Details | Limerick | |

Farting Contests


All little boys like to master the fart Among their peers its considered an art It must be loud To make them proud If stinky, a winner right from the start


Details | Limerick | |

A Sly Teaser

At a time inconvenient it teases,
As it comes whensoever it pleases.
Creeping ever so sly,
It will make you yell, "Why?!"
And the thing that I speak of is sneezes.


Details | Limerick | |

Let's Get Ready For Some Football

<                                   let's get ready for some football .....    Ya !
                                     Eagles   verses    da   .....   Bears   Well ... then  Hey !       
                                     Here's kickoff ~ by     da .......    Bears
                                     Ohhhhhhhh !  fell  off ....  T  .....    Unfair
                                     Second  ..... blocked  .....  Eagles    7 - Nay !


                                                                      
                                     
                                     
                                    

                                    
Entry For 
Linda Marie's 
Let's Limerick Contest
G.L. All    



Tribute To Football


Details | Limerick | |

Mothers Day

Mothers are the best 
They are like a test
They are very loving 
They like a flower budding
The treat us like a fest.


Details | Limerick | |

Slick Limerick

Susan Burch came bubble-wrapped
Not ready, but waiting, to be sent back
A reject toy
Till she met a boy
Who unwrapped her with happy claps


9/22/11

Received 2nd place in "Slick Limerick" contest


Details | Limerick | |

Football - A Game Of Life

Just like a football I am kicked aroun'

   I refuse to let such things get me down

      I shall e'er keep in sight

         And strive with all my might

            To press toward the goal to claim my crown

Entry for kristen bruni's "Football" contest


Details | Limerick | |

Where You Are

I wished upon a shooting star
To be away – somewhere far.
And then the thought occurred to me,
Somewhere far, you cannot be.
Be content wherever you are!


Details | Limerick | |

Quit Your Growling

<          once there was old woman on the prowl
            found younger man and begun to howl
            under silvery moon
            fead him with baby spoon
            now stomach does goo goo gah gah grawls



Written By Katherine Stella


Entry For Dr. Ram's Cougar Effect Contest 
G.L. All                                                                


Details | Limerick | |

That's only you

My desires are hanging around my neck like a hanging basket at the door,
And knocking my head all the time as toe making rhythm on a dancing floor,
Early in the morning, jumps to branches as a singing little sparrow song,
Legs walk routinely forward and backward to gain target short or long,
nobody can assess me that's only you, awakening my sleeping spirit.


Details | Limerick | |

Where Did It Go

As I sit here and wonder where did it all go,
  Why did I hurry to get here is something I do not know.
My life has pased by so quickly just a blink of the eye,
  Can't remember all the things I've done or the reasons why.
What was the purpose of this it all seems so insane,
   I'm left with nothing but emptiness am I to be the blame .
Where are my friends and family am I the only one left,
   I guess because of what I've done this is what I get.
This isn't what I was looking for not what I imagined at all,
   There is nothing I can say or do and theirs nobody I can call.
Will it ever become clear to me why don't I understand ,
   Is this that wonderful plan was that God has made for man?
The path I chose to follow always seemed to take so long,
   I'm begining to believe that just maybe that I was wrong.
Thinking about all the things in my life that have come to past,
   Down deep I have always known that they were never meant to last.
So this is what it is like to reach this old age of mine ,
   I'm starting to see that it was never really about time.
Waiting seems to be all there is for me to do these days ,
   Untill the time that light shines bright showing me my way.
Feeling much better now that I have come to see,
  That there was a plan and it was made especially for me.
TAC


Details | Limerick | |

I Am So Bored With Rain



I'm so listless with the rain
for the dreams I cannot attain
trapped within this dwelling
a story not worth telling
a notion that perhaps "I'm insane"

puddle upon puddle does flood
as the hill side turns to mud 
this wound trapped within
a song of doom once again
for now a dreary river of blood

behind the window I gaze
at muted sight in a haze
will inspiration arrive
in sunbeams that contrive
or will my life drown in a maze 

________________________________
Contest
"I Am Bored With____"
Poet ~ Rick Parise


Details | Limerick | |

FOOTLOOSE

Rock and roll that's my play
Who wants to stay and sway
Don't care if you're footloose
Any music we'll dance and choose
Smiles; grooving fun that we'll display

1:38 AM
02/24/2014


Details | Limerick | |

like it or not--it's here to stay

Inventive minds can be inspired  
Great ideas in time may be sired
High fashion and style
Are acquired for a while
But in the brain sex is hard wired


Details | Limerick | |

THE SLOTH

His life is an Epic story in a tragic playlet 
He is the one person who opens wares an hour after the market 
He comes to town a day after the fair 
Running back home with the aim of catching a wild breed Hare

He "holds hard" after the shot has left the gun 
He locks the stable after the herd is all gone 
He won't die, though he is of no use alive 
His life, like that of a typical dreamer who carries water in a sieve 

He is Mr. Everything married to Mrs. Nothing 
They are born to rest and they are living to sleep 
Both of them, a typical breed of St. Judas
They cover their well after their children are drowned and left in the deep

They are always busy ploughing the air when their field is waist high in weed
Busy! They are at the old farm 
Bringing up buckets of water
After the last pillar of thier house is burnt down 
Still, they realize not that they are a living corpse.


Details | Limerick | |

Cannabis

There is a drug called cannabis
One smoke they say can bring bliss
I get high everyday
Yet no drugs pass my way
What I won’t try I know I won’t miss

For life is a high on its own
I have found this as I have grown
No unnatural high 
To help me reach the sky
And I know that I am not alone

In conclusion I would like to add
That they say cannabis is not bad
But it breeds paranoia
And that will annoy ya
I never want to be that sad


Details | Limerick | |

This Path we Walk

As we walk like children holding hands , swinging our arms together as we walked slowly through the blanket of the Autumn leaves. The path we walk is as it were never ending .The tall forest trees that lined each side , appeared to funnel off to the distant open sky . Sun now setting leaving a Orange sky that blended with the leaves all about us . That cool evening breeze upon our glowing faces . The whisper of the trees as they swayed in the wind , but the loudest sound of it all was the beating of our hearts . No it was not just the chill of the wind that made our faces glow , it was the love in our hearts that showed. Yes we were children for that moment , full of innocents of a love so pure at heart, a love so true , nothing could tear it apart . A love that memories are made of  and dreams that come true .There is nothing so good as the love you have for me and I for you.
  The path we walk that seemed to go on forever , was actually our love through out our lives ,as we travel together through it.
TAC


Details | Limerick | |

Dream World Star

I desire to enter the light of the dream world Where everything has hope, so I may get the girl The stars all shine above Giving off a special love Nothing is as bright as the star that gives a twirl
Russell Sivey


Details | Limerick | |

Devil's Horns

Though she holds the greatest of horns Smack dab on her head with thorns She sees herself as good With a smart body and hood A devil she mocks, she surely did mourn
Russell Sivey


Details | Limerick | |

These Coming Summer Days

Tis splendor in the grass these coming summer days
America’s youth can have their privileged adolescent ways
Swimming and playing or simply being laid back
They have little worries without any teacher’s flack
Enrich they youngish self before the inevitable groans of early Mondays


Details | Limerick | |

Miss Priss

<                           once there was a boss we called miss priss
                             like to give orders with snap of wrist
                             file fax make coffee
                             phones radio golly
                             when not looking I blow her big hiss


Details | Limerick | |

Life on the corner

There once was this girl who was pretty
Who resided in New York City
Got mugged Friday night
Weak attempt at a fight
Life as a harlot is such a pity


Details | Limerick | |

Money And Life

All the gold in Thomaston
Is in fancy banks uptown, hun
There are two on the square
Just waiting to use lair
To capture your funds then you're done


(Our town is drying up
Today I noticed that
it only seems that
the banks are prospering.)


Details | Limerick | |

Who Let The Dogs Out ? { The DogGone Dog Contest}

<                              tell me now   Who ! Who ! ~  Let The Dogs Out ?
                                bet Carolyn pulling them by snouts ......
                                fleas ...  ticks....  she started to itch /////
                                screaming  sons of  a  ....... b .i...t...c....h
                                poor neighbor's dog now takes different route
                               
                                
                                
                                
Entry For
Andrea Dietrich's
The DogGone Dog Contest
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

The Devil Inside

Crippled by the midst I feel as though I am tied
Living a life where I feel as though I’ve lied
Ashamed and hollow
While I sit and wallow
Weak and deprived I submit to the devil inside


Details | Limerick | |

Lily Pads

Green, are lily pads
Floating on a waterfall.
Clear of pollution?
Indeed I dare not say yes.
But soon there will come a day.


Details | Limerick | |

Nature Calls

A place where gas and flame ignite Mount Vesuvius spews in morning light as I rocked and rolled in a motion uncontrolled hot embers hit the water with fright !! ------------------------------------------------------ A Gift For P.D.


Details | Limerick | |

I'm Cuckoo For Coco Puffs

<                      once was an  cuckoo bird named Sonny
                         tagging along gramps as first  gunny
                               shooting up cereal bowls
                     with dark puffs @@@ nice ~ and ~ slow
                            Oh how trix rabbit did so runny  






Entry For Poets Destroyer 's
Your Favorite Cereal Limerick
GL All                                  


Details | Limerick | |

Hard Heart

HARD HEART

THIS IS WHAT WE OFTEN DO
WHEN TIME IS UP OR THINGS
LOOK BLEAK- 

WE- PRAY PRAY PRAY

WHEN ALL IS WELL AND 
THINGS SEEM FINE THE CREATOR 
DOES NOT COME TO MIND 

SO WE - PLAY PLAY PLAY.

ADULTS WHO PLAY
THOSE CHILDISH GAMES
TOO MEAN TO CARE-
TOO HARD TO FEEL 

ARE -WEAK WEAK WEAK

OH OH OH OH
FOR- SHAME SHAME SHAME

EVEN AT THEIR NEIGHBOR
EYE CONTACT IS NOT MADE -
TO THE CHILDREN ON THE STREET
EVEN TO THEM YOU CANNOT- 

SPEAK-SPEAK SPEAK

IN THE END YOU'LL -
HAVE NO FRIEND
YOUR PRESENCE-
PRESENTS A BAD OMEN

WHAT A- SIN SIN SIN

GET ON YOUR TOES AND 
OFF THE HIGH HORSE
CHANGE YOUR SWING
SEE WHAT JOYS YOUR
LIFE CAN BRING.LET'S

SAY-AMEN AMEN AMEN !


Details | Limerick | |

Indian Giver Of Life

.
The Indian Healer gathered willow
Dried medicinal bark like dried tallow
When fever came to the camp
Small dose when with fever damp
Relieves many of tribe from the deathblow


Details | Limerick | |

You create a world all Alone

So many days have gone by 
I wish I had wings to fly
I would of never done wrong
If I knew I would be here for so long
My life is within these four walls
Oh how my life has taken such a fall
It still shocks me to think I'm still here
I still have to wipe away my tears
One by one I count the long days
Higher it gets the days I've been away
I never seem to know
The day I will get to go
So I created a world of my own
With so many people I've never known
So many come and go
Its sad to see them go
Some say they'll keep in touch
But it doesn't mean that much
Cause many who leave this place
Run far from here like its a race
When they're finally out they start to forget
The ones in green so many of them they met
No matter how many friends in here you make
Whether they are true to you or fake
Always keep in mind
This one little line
You come alone 
You leave alone


Details | Limerick | |

A Homeless Man King

  

Paths followed are many, 
I, a slave to this dusty, dirty road
Destiny has beckoned me,
My past,  won't let me be,
I must stand tall & walk out on my own.

A simple plan with just, a bit of a twist. 
I have no interest in conflict,
Unless,  there's a conflict of interest
to be.
Lead me not, into the bowels of hell,
Keep me,  from the evil things I see.

Forgive me!  those whose paths I
did cross.
 Heaven forgive, they who 
put burden on me..
A poor man, I am told
Homeless they say, 
but still a man any way,
I sold everything,  to walk , these streets like a king.

David Bear Caldera
02/20/08


Details | Limerick | |

Super Bowl Sunday

Statistical Sunday that starts fights
Along with bringing many delights
One simple cowhide ball
So called centralized thrall
Bringing outward competitive rights


Written for

Sponsor Royal Trevino 
Contest Name SUPER BOWL SUNDAY! **LIMERICK** or **HAIKU** 


Details | Limerick | |

From Rocket to Little town

There once was a knight from Rocket town
Who lured and let his amour men down
But on a night not too young
Nemesis caught up with Doung 
When his archers incursed Little town.


Details | Limerick | |

Trader Joe

<                           once there was a man named trader Joe
                             could do nothing with hair so let grow
                             under big coonskin hat
                             fleas tick and his pet rat
                             mercantile's just say Oh Hell No


                            once there was saloon name lucky spur
                            where traders brought in their hunted furs
                            in walks old trader Joe
                            miss Molly said let's go
                            now both itch scratch from leftover burrs


Details | Limerick | |

And Now For The Next Half A Century

.......And Now For The Next Half A Century!

Over 50? Bring it on!
Feeling so empowered
Learning now that life's for grabs 
So much to be devoured!

Over 50? Piece of cake
Sitting on my laurels
Fed them, read them, washed them, wed them
Taught them all their morals

Over 50? Feeling great!
Welcoming that wrinkle
Gravity -  go do your thing
My eyes will always twinkle

Over 50? Never wiser!
Learning to say no
Earned my moods lost some feuds
Now basking in the glow

Over 50? Liking me
Dressing as I please
Goodbye fads, hello plaids
I ve no one to appease

Over 50? No regrets
Think it s pretty nifty
Guess I ll stick around a bit
To check out things at sixty!


Details | Limerick | |

ITTY BITTY APOLOGY

 I have been seriously working too much
With family and friends I been out of touch
              My apologies to all 
             I wasn't having a ball
 Luckily my sweet guy has been my crutch


04/ 11/ 2014


Details | Limerick | |

Eight Years

It’s been eight years, and it still feels the same
As it was then, I seem to have no aim
                            Peer pressure
                            That of a fresher
Searching for my own claim to fame.


Details | Limerick | |

Pay Up

<                    hes my banker and my heads horseman
                      calling bounty on anothers land
                      hark the herald angels
                      I think this game is swell
                      now thimble owes me sixty five grand







Written by Katherine Stella

Entry For Judy Konos's
Monopoly The Game Of Life Contest
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

BIRDS AND BEES




At church, young niece asked me in a blink

What mating meant with a curious wink

    “It's a  bird-and-bee's dream

      For girls who reach  sixteen”

Pined she,” that’s not what my classmates think”




----------

Andrea Dietrich's ONE REALLY FUNNY, 
CORRECTLY METERED LIMERICK


Details | Limerick | |

ME

 There once was a lady from Cali
 Born and raised in the Valley
 She married a dude
 With a bad attitude
 So divorce was her grand finale


Details | Limerick | |

Twelve Seconds

<                    Once was a bartender named Louie
                      Thought my tales story was quite screwy                                     
                      Asked how many seconds
                      Was in year he reckons
                      Twelve shouted out by cousin dewey







Entry For
Confession To A Bartender


                                  


Details | Limerick | |

Planning

He, as a young man did aspire,
To early in life retire.
A savings plan he began,
To which he continually ran.
Better planning this did require


Details | Limerick | |

On The Southern Alligator Farm

Down south on the small alligator farm
Alligators grown to size to alarm
All the workers there too scared
Of young gators as they aired
Parachuted food to keep them from harm

(Inspired by Carolyn's picture but not entry.)


Details | Limerick | |

The Very Same Tree

Racism is what really annoys me
For we were all in the very same tree
When we came down to the ground
We just spread around
And that's how there is you and there's me


Details | Limerick | |

My Lawyer the Idiot

Be warned, the law is an ass and I was a victim,

And so was my lawyer - his head up his rictum!

  I said "you're fired, I've had enough...

      You're full of piss and wind and huff

Who wouldn't know his coccyx from his dictum!"






Details | Limerick | |

Poetry Man

There once was a man from everywhere
Within New Jersey’s infamous lair
Mdegenhardt his name
Rhyming is his game
Through the internet he peddles his ware


Details | Limerick | |

Taxing Dilemma

Rich ones get richer from our wages.
Middle man paid with too many pages.
We continue on path.
Hiding outrageous wrath,
Revolved in political stages,

Taxes, taxes, what will be the due.
Deductions, exemptions for a few,
All my money they have kept.
Deducting tears I wept.
Tax man arrived claimed all of them too.

The poor keeps getting poorer each year.
They cannot wait for rebate, they cheer.
Sell off, early rebate.
Federal and the state,
Money now, money, for wine and beer,


Written for

Sponsor Carolyn Devonshire 
Contest Name Taxing Times 


Details | Limerick | |

Just Wait Until I Get Home

<                        once popped cork on bottle of red wine
                          hit brother in eye oh how it did shine
                          seen him go pick up bat
                          boy did I ever scat
                          right to canadian's boarder line

                          feeling like her dansel in-distress
                          along came three county mounties best
                          asked if nipping bottle
                          at fast paces throttle
                          answered yes now did I pass your test


                           tossed in pokie for now twenty days
                           poor ole missy now won't and get laid
                           darn brother wins again
                           wearing smitten hugh grin
                           wait until that welt begins to fade  




Written 6/20/11

Entry For Francine Robert's
Bottle Of Wine
Limericks Only Contest
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

The Birds and the Bees

When I was young, in my teenage years,
I developed a lot of doubts and fears!
     I was very perplexed,
     about love and sex
so I went to my parents, in tears!

I said, "mom and dad, enlighten me please"!
So they told me about, "the birds and the bees"!
     Their intentions were good,
     they did the best that they could,
but I could tell, they were far from, at ease!

But, today things aren't the same.
Movies and TV are to blame!
     Youngsters learn about sex,
     sometimes, with tragic effects,
the outcome, too often's, a shame!

Now, Birds are just nesting in trees.
Honey's being made by the Bees!
     The "Birds and the Bees" metaphor,
     ain't really effective no more,
we're just left, with some old memories!










Details | Limerick | |

Another bucket please

At the end of the rainbow’s a bucket
Brimmin’ over w’ leprechaun gold
An’ the hound that they left there t’ guard it
Is toothless and grouchy an’ old
He sleeps in the rain
To a tireless refrain
At least that is what
I’ve been told
So I’m leavin’ today
An’ I’m findin’ a way
Then expectin’ t’ say
I made glitter full endings unfold
If I get it away
I’ll be willing t’pay
For someone to care for
Me cat


Details | Limerick | |

My bum fluff

I remember in my early teens, being teased about my facial hair was really mean, people would tease and they would poke, always trying to make jokes, but it wasn't just bum fluff to me.
Contest: FLUFF - Carol Brown M.Mahauariki © 2012 1st place


Details | Limerick | |

Big Fat Looser

I Am a Big Fat Looser

Oh I am a big fat looser
I don’t deserve to live
I need someone to take a Gun
And shoot me till I’m dead

Yes I am a big fat looser
I really want to die
I’m looking for a violent guy
To shoot me in the eye

Oh I am a big fan looser
I really have to say
If this is life I realize
I hate it every day

Yes I am a big fat looser
And life is just the pits
I am a guy that wants to die
Not live another day

Oh I am a big fat looser
I really hate this life
If you the one don't have a gun
Then maybe use a knife

Yes I am a big fat doofus
I really have to say
If suicide is painless
Well then maybe that’s the way

Oh I am a big fat doofus
I live in misery
But I don’t have the courage
Or I’d blow myself away

I really am a doofus
I’ve one more thing to say
If anyone is listening
Then shoot me right away
So I can die today


Details | Limerick | |

BAAA BAAA

           I've given up my right to keep

           Active in Political Speak

           So I don't vote election day

            I just follow along the way

            Now, I lay me down as Sheep


Details | Limerick | |

Quit Wasting My Time { Edit }

<                               One by one they'll shall roll on and come
                                 Like soldiers marching to beaten drums
                                 Echoes  are acknowledge
                                 Cast across thy arched bridge
                                 Haste makes waste even for everyone




Inspired By
Carolyn Devonshire's Contest
Follower Or Leader
GL All


Details | Limerick | |

Heinz the Gambler

There once was a gambler called Heinz,
Who needed to pay off his fines;
The right numbers he got
For the lotto jackpot -
Alas all on different lines.

*My experience with the lottery last week


Details | Limerick | |

To Patrick, I thank

When I was just a little boy
Aged seven I had so much joy
In Commander Job I was so fond
He was Ian Fleming's James Bond
A war hero, he's the real McCoy






* When I was seven years old, I had the privilage of staying with
   Patrick Dalzel-Job, feel free to copy and paste his link *

   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_Dalzel-Job


Details | Limerick | |

Fathers Cute Little Words

My fathers’ cute little words and sayings,
Like, that is just for the birds, in lashings.
Akumpucky in way,
Epigutis he’d say.
My father was big man in displaying.

.
Akumpucky was cream or compound.
Epigutis was the disease he found.
His words were so very cute.
You would never try dispute.
Powerful man would win any round.


Written for

Sponsor Francine Roberts 
Contest Name My Parent 


Details | Limerick | |

Tough or Fluff

Knew a kid who thought he was tough,
Just a bully doing mean stuff.
One day after falling
He then started bawling,
We found he was nothing but fluff.  

By: Greg Stanley
Entry into Carol’s “Fluff” contest


Details | Limerick | |

Blind Crush

Don't talk to strangers says my 
mother
If I listened we would of never 
met each other
Company was all I was looking 
for
I never intended to want 
nothing more
Your letters always made me 
smile
So I thought I'd write you for 
awhile
I started to get attached a bit
Then somewhere along the way 
a spark lit
It wasn't suppose to be this way
I never wanted to feel this way
But now its too late
It juss maybe fate
I don't know what I did to 
deserve you
But I'm glad I got to know you
You just came into my world
Your presence has made it twirl
You've brought a side of me 
that was hiding
Thought of you have got me 
writing
The feelings that were 
untouched for years
All the lonely nights with my 
tears
You've sparked with your 
soothing words
Now my life is surrounded by 
your words
I find myself smiling throughout 
the day
When people stare I don't know 
what to say
I wait for the day I get to see 
you
How much longer I wish I knew
The amount of time you've 
known someone doesn't matter 
to fall for someone
I don't care how you look or 
what you do
I just hope one day you'll be my 
boo


Details | Limerick | |

Husbands Are in Heaven Whose Wives Scold Not

All night I dream of life without wife,
Peaceful and heavenly, without any strife .
No scolding, no nagging,
Like ‘sake’ I’m having.
Alas! Its morning and gone my life.

Dt.  23/02/14


Details | Limerick | |

Easy Come, Easy Go

I bought a lottery ticket
I told the cashier - "Just pick it,"
I was surprised when she said,
"If you win, we'll go to bed;"
now all my cash is gone - "Frick It!"


For "Lottery Ticket Limerick" contest sponsored by Susan Burch.




Details | Limerick | |

Viagra

I once had a wife named Cleopatra
Who expected me to perform some abracadabra
My body is old
But I became bold
So I went off to the drug store for some viagra


Details | Limerick | |

Funny Colors

Blue eyes sparkle, when fun, hits the brain.
Cheeks red and cheery, when it’s insane,
Cute smile turns me pink.
Chuckles, urge a wink. 
One’s giggles bubbly, as white champagne.


Details | Limerick | |

Frustration


_____________________________

I hiked down to my old fish'in hole
one BIG "Rainbow Trout" was my goal
got nothing but snags
lost a whole jar of eggs
and into the lake went my pole
____________________________

 


Details | Limerick | |

Anti-carnal Psuedo-arsenal

She cries that her life is full of reality
All the while drowning out actuality
   The visions she shouts
   Are steeped in her doubts
She clearly has issue with sensuality


Details | Limerick | |

Don't do crack!!!!!

Crack this nut
Crack that nut
Do it and…
I’ll kick your butt

Ya don’t do crack
Ya wipe it
Yer just a hack
If Ya like it

Ya don’t get off
Ya get away
Yer just a goof 
If Ya like it


Details | Limerick | |

In this Battle to find a True Man

You said you'd always be there
And never let my heart tear
My past made me think the 
worst
It was hard to trust you at first
I kept barriers with the way I 
felt
But your words made me melt
You proved you'd never make 
me cry
So I thought I'd give you a try
Your presence brought me joy
You made me believe I was no 
toy
Things started to go well
You were the one I could tell
Just as I started giving you my 
heart
Things began to fall apart
All the promises made you 
started to break
I finally knew you were so fake
You mesmerized me with your 
charm
And acted like you were no 
harm
But all you ever wanted was a 
pass time
You treated me cheaper than a 
dime
It was a joke to you all along
You didn't care how much you 
did wrong
Now I'm left to think how blind I 
became
I was so stupid to fall for your 
game
You must be so proud to be you 
I bet I'm just one of the few
Your game will make you go 
mad
When karma gets you so bad
Yours actions have made me 
stronger
Now I'm ready to fight harder
I won't be a fool no more
Its like being in a war
In this battle to find a true man


Details | Limerick | |

My Mum!

The blue, clear sea, just so calm.
Exactly like my dear Mum.
She had never, ever raged. 
Though she may have a little aged. 
I stick to her like gum!


Details | Limerick | |

New Years Resolution

Resolutions fruitful tricks on mind,
Some reality, some so unkind,
They are just promises.
Other compromises,
They often suspend and rob one blind.

Though we keep on making them each year,
Sometimes bringing smiles or single tear,
No, matter what they are.
Ordinary or bizarre,
We take new steps, staying all old fear.

My resolution, be more funny.
Stir my funny bone for my honey.
To bring her more laughter,
Sharing smiles thereafter,
We need, joy, happiness, not money.


Written for

Sponsor Carolyn Devonshire 
Contest Name New Year's Resolutions 


Details | Limerick | |

You're Going To Get It Now But Good

<                             once there was an old cat named chessur
                               only listened to alice for sure
                               but sometimes dissappeared 
                               and left behind grins smear
                               so I've gone mad and shaved off hides fur





Entry For Debbie Guzzi's
Go Ask Alice Contest
        G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Ode to occupy wall street

The middle class here can't be saved
When 0.001% act so depraved
Their wealth without end
These royals* still pretend
Did not come from us—their 
enslaved**


*The Royals: CEOs, Banksters, Revolving Door Regulators, The FED, Congressmen for sale, Lobbyists, Board Members of Big Corporations, Major Shareholders who vote for these Board 
Members, Corrupt Managers, Dishonest Used Car Salesmen, Presidential Candidates with more than two Residences, Elected Presidents (and their lackeys who pretend to regulate but look the other way)

**The Enslaved: Workers, Career Regulators who are trying to protect the public, Honest Hard Working Citizens, Students--some with oppressive loans, Immigrants, Soldiers, Police, Firemen and Firewomen, Parents, Children, Orphans, Disabled, The Sick, Small Business Owners (who don’t hire lobbyists), Volunteers, Health Care Workers, Welfare Recipients, Inventors, Investors, Entrepreneurs, Actors, Artists, Journalists who do in-depth investigation (not like those with FOX News, ABC Radio or many other of the outlets where they mouth the status quo), Non Profit Corporations, Charities, Teachers, Transportation Workers, Waiters and Waitresses, Dishwashers, Servants, Farmers, Managers, Ship Hands, Cooks, Unemployed   

Author' s Note:  Have been at Occupy Wall Street 8 days in the past two months--which is why I haven't been here--plus I have to work.  Miss you all, but it's for a good cause.  I am very briefly seen on Conan's feature: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at Occupy Wall Street if you are looking for some humor with a little umph.


Details | Limerick | |

A Child of Nine

When I was a child of nine
I thought I had all the time
Time to live and be happy
Time to fish with my pappy
But death had crossed the line


Details | Limerick | |

If I were A Boy



Now if I were a boy I'd burp a lot I'd be mischievous and not get caught I'd learn to spit Smelly gas emit And when peeing I'd not have to squat
For the " If I were a Boy" contest...


Details | Limerick | |

The truth be thy only medicine

I can't take the truth, though I know what it is right.
 
I can't stand the thought, but someday I might.
 
Be able to look back on memories of you.
 
Thinking about them might help pull me through.
 
Out of the darkness and into the light.
 
You were my sun and my moon, you made my life so bright.
 
You kept it worth living when things went to hell,
 
You picked me back up everytime that I fell.
 
But now that you're gone my life is beyond out of control,
 
I am going on empty, carrying a sorry dead soul.
 
So deep in my heart, nobody can see.
 
But I can still feel their eyes just starring at me.


Details | Limerick | |

HughWest

There’s a man you know as Hugh West
Writing poetry is what he does best
But then I reckon
Poetry is second
To eyeing my voluptuous chest


Details | Limerick | |

Falling Down- Trochee

Every time I take a step,
I end up falling down.
Legs flying throw the air,
Making me look like a clown.

Though if I jump up in the sky,
Holding a simple prayer in my mind.
I fly....
Only to land on my behind!:-)


Details | Limerick | |

I Love Lucy

<          once there was a redhead gal name lucy
            now skit comes to mind is real juicy
            job switching with the men
            conveyer belt takes a spin
            chocolate oh how did she loosey



Entry For Shani Fassbender's
Favorite Television Show / Episode Remembered


I Chose I Love Lucy
 

Written By Katherine Stella 7/1/11


Details | Limerick | |

Banana Surprise

Banana went to culinary college
Yellow, firm, wanted so much knowledge,
Standing up in last class,
Ending up in large mass,
Now was the time for all to acknowledge.


Written for

Sponsor Deborah Guzzi 
Contest Name The once was a man from Dunkirk.. 


Details | Limerick | |

Driving Down Withered Roads

Driving down withered roads,
Off in the pond sing the toads,
My heart races as I turn to the left,
In goes the car, the pond will collect,
My car, myself, and other bodes


Details | Limerick | |

Sibling Sanity

There once was a sister most prosaic
Who's love for her kin was most archaic
  She turned a blind eye
  To horrible lie after lie
And ignored her sibling's mind of mosaic


Details | Limerick | |

Vacation Close To Home

Once upon time, come every summer
Vacation travel was so much funner
Now I must stay close to home
Share with my dog a bone
O man, life today, what a bummer!


Details | Limerick | |

LARRY-HARRY(Limerick)

I once dated a man named Larry
He one day asked me to marry
Though he was a real honey
He hadn't much money
So, I wed his cousin Harry


Details | Limerick | |

Chuck

There is a man we call him ChuckSluck
I must admit his poems don’t suck
He drives a corvette
Which put him in debt
But with the girls has given him luck


Details | Limerick | |

THE BIRDS AND THE BEE'S

There once was a bird and a bee
They both had a secret, you see.
The bee loved the bird.
She thought it absurd.
The bird, then, decided to flee!

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: Birds and the bees 	
Sponsored by: Royal Trevino

© February 20, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen


Details | Limerick | |

death is good

oh give me a rope
with a noose that is loose 
and i'll tie it up on a beam

then give me a pill
that will give me a thrill 
and i'll end it all on a high

Death Death is the way 
for life is to sucky to play

so give me a gun
that is loaded for fun
and i'll blow my brains far away


Details | Limerick | |

Virgo man)

I am a Virgo, on cusp of Libra.
My heart and mind stays in a penumbra.
My first words were these, so told.
“Me do it me self”, so bold.
I was strange in school, I loved algebra






Male


Details | Limerick | |

February Funny Bone

All was peaceful till that fateful day
The 5th, the result of my father’s way,
Sunrise quarter-to-eight
Slipped through life’s open gate,
Three month early, should have been May.

Harry Horsman for Linda-Marie's contest
February Funny Bone.


Details | Limerick | |

Problems Linger On

Problems Linger On
Dr. James E. Martin
©December, 2012

Oblivious many are today
To problems that won’t go away.
Do any really care?
Is there any real despair?
I think that  more attention we should pay.


Details | Limerick | |

Life is Like: Collection 1

Life is like a rollercoaster
Made up of many trains:
It has its ups
It has its downs,
And drives some folks insane.
(It also has a tendency
To liquefy the brains)

Life is like a rosebush
With many budding blossoms:
But please be warned,
This bush has thorns
That make the prize less awesome
(and if your buds get mangled
You've got to burn or toss 'em)

Life is like a hurricane
It brings rain but destroys:
Buildings boats and skyscrapers
And other human toys
(Along with human businesses
And greater human joys)

Life is like an apple
A treat down to the core:
But working for that shiny red
Is certainly a chore
(Especially for those folks
Who've never worked before)

Life is like a bowl of milk
When freshly poured, is sweet:
As it ages, it turns hard
To change to cheese to eat
(Though I wonder why some folks
Eat cheese that smell like feet)


Details | Limerick | |

ApatosauRussell

Dinosaurs, it’s true they really existed
The oldest ones from far away persisted
Million’s of years ago
The dinosaurs had to go
They all died right when they were insisted

Russell Sivey

DinoPhobia

The big dinosaurs
Lived millions of years ago
Now they’ve all died out

Russell Sivey

Entrant into PD's "DINOSAUR-QUEST (1 limerick) (1 haiku)" contest

3/18/2010


Details | Limerick | |

Pregnant with Deceit

Their flashy words so rhetorical
Nothing new, just all historical
Words pregnant with deceit
Costumes mailed, in receipt
Unmasked, see... most are identical

For Carolyn's "Election Humor Contest"


Details | Limerick | |

RavinNVRmore

A friendly poet RavinNVRmore
Writes poetry that you can’t ignore
A Poe fan I wonder
A phrase she did plunder
From the gaunt and ominous bird of yore


Details | Limerick | |

My Lack Lustre Valentine

My Lack Lustre Valentine There was a man who asked me to be his valentine My heart went all of a flutter I wondered if he would be mine I said of course your valentine, I would love to be I’ve never heard from him again, does that only happen to me?


Details | Limerick | |

My Life is 2 B Blogless

My decision from today is no blogs
For sometimes their surrounded in fog
Some can peer through the mist
Whilst the others have missed
My thoughts, well their now down the bog





~*~ Bog in the UK is slang for toilet ~*~


Details | Limerick | |

A Girl On A Mission

              A Girl On A Mission

There once was a gal who sold china

Tested rockets in her vagina

She sat on one hard though

It made her a martyr

Blasting her & her china to China 


                                                           6/24/14 Bawdy Limericks II Contest


Details | Limerick | |

No Resolutions

Like the path that I rarely take My resolutions I will not break I don’t like to start these Even if they’re a breeze For no resolutions will I make
Russell Sivey Entrant into Gwendolen R.'s "A Limerick in My Pocket" contest 12/31/2013


Details | Limerick | |

BREAD LINES


      There is nothing now that could be worse,
 
      Than taking money out of the old folks' purse.

      So our elected officials need to remember,
  
      It will soon come November,

      And to the bread lines...they may be FIRST!


Details | Limerick | |

The Last Laugh?

Democracy now that is a laugh
When the voting is all stacked with graft
And I will give you a plug
If you punch out that lug
If you believe me you’re really daft!

You say you’re poor and you’re not real able
To put food and some bucks on the table
Just right say the rich
Starve and don’t *itch
Or drop by and muck out my stable!

Grad’s from Vassar and Yale all abhor
Those in Appalachia with dirt floors
But they own the coal mines
And their wealth is refined
They won’t mess up their minds keeping score.

You can’t get a real education
In this righteous American nation
Well go read a book
Or go shoot a crook
Rise to your appropriate station!



Details | Limerick | |

I'm Watching the Detectives

I so love my investigative angle
Peoples lives I so love to untangle
I thank my Auntie for this
Taggart in Scotland was bliss
Watching the Detectives, was my handle


Details | Limerick | |

Just Hanging Around

Once in the ghost town they called rotgut
Seen mortician dancing dead mans strut
Six shooter brought Slim down
Black smith hurried left town
Guess hang by boots then when in a rut




Entry For Jerry's 
A Town Called Rotgut
GL All











Details | Limerick | |

Democratic Crazy

These crazies who run our economy Deserve a medical lobotomy They are all of their heads Ignoring their country needs fed They just play with our democratic autonomy


Details | Limerick | |

Aquarius

Aquarius

Aquarians think ahead of their times
But are not material for all climes
Rare losers they are
With losses bizarre
They are normally not party to crimes.

Form: Limerick
8 jul 14

For Leonora's contest


Details | Limerick | |

Quit Calling Me

<                                          good tarnations  .......  to this darn nation

                                            economic woes   .......  our money goes

                                                      all we are is .....   numbers

                                                      to good ole ....... Uncle Sam

                                             
                                             don't you just hate being called ....... sometimes







Entry For
John Freeman's Contest
Citizen Or Subject
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Slick Limerick

There once was a Brit called Jack Horne,
Whose trousers were tattered and torn.
As he took his pants down,
He observed with a frown
His boxers were equally worn.


Details | Limerick | |

Grimy Rocks

Beautiful days filled with work, love, kids and pets
Stuffed to the brim and living without regrets
   Life's little, stubborn and grimy rocks
   Are neatly placed in a teeny, tiny box
Better to treasure our sweet and golden nuggets!

(Poem dedicated to those insignificant flea-like people who are, quite frankly, like grimy little 
rocks.)


Details | Limerick | |

Sediments of life

Sediments of life experiences may seem precarious
One’s faith and hope that they may be found meritorious
As one lies six feet underground
The hereafter will only be compound
If the Creator’s judgment finds you sinfully nefarious


Details | Limerick | |

Life in a Liquor Bottle

He dives into a liquor bottle, and
Zigzags like a snake on the sand.
A wife waits for her hero,
But who comes as a zero.
Obscenities ooze from his ‘stupor gland’.

(My limerick which was selected and  published in Selected Poems Anthology 2013 by  Pendle War Poetry, U K)



Details | Limerick | |

Randy

There once was a poet named Randy
Who was known for being eye candy
A fisherman by trait
With words as his bait
Smoothe talking was his modus operandi


Details | Limerick | |

Next Thing to Believe

Why do we believe the hype they spread?
Next year they say we all might be dead
This spring all will shut down
Does this bring you a frown?
Rise of gasoline with rise of bread

We seem to believe whatever they say
Why are their words now gospel today
We are losing freedoms
More or less, like kingdoms
We left one of these, for freedom to pray

Let’s see if a rumor I start unfurls
Our new cars will be run by squirrels
Fueled by nuts and acorns
But never peppercorns
Because if you do, the car just twirls


Written for

Sponsor john freeman 
Contest Name Slapstick Limerick Contest 


Details | Limerick | |

Lock Up

<                             once there was a girl locked in closet
                               dear old dad said well thats what you get
                               little did he come know
                               let out by little bro
                               but recaptured by moms fishing net 





Entry For Leighann Anderson's
Sea Of Words Contest
G.L. All                               


Details | Limerick | |

Cowboy

Cowboy mind
(Your life
Or your money)
In a cycle of years
Grabbing every penny
You never became rich
I never became ditch


Details | Limerick | |

Futile

striving for riches
is like trying to
grab hold of 
the wind


Details | Limerick | |

Flesh vs. Spirit

hunger of the flesh , you must protest !!

Oh' this fleshly disaster , what a mess 

maybe just one more slice..

to much could bring a demise 

deny this flesh , wouldn't want to regress


Details | Limerick | |

Jurassic James

My name is Jurassic James
An ageing Dinosaur it seems
Middle aged I have hit
Quite frankly it's shit
Take me back to twenty to dream

Wonderful, I'm now back to that time
Playing pool and every things fine
I'm out with the boys
Getting pissed and enjoying
Meeting girls and being so entwined

Then there was the night one met
The right one my future was set
Now married with kids
My pool days now rid
Decisions made, now no regrets

Now back to the future we go
A dark horse now starts to show
What's fixed is now broken
Jurassic James has now spoken
I'm now free and single you know









http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me-3.php


Details | Limerick | |

Another Time, Another Place

I'm for all people and their faith
It's for them and not others to deface
     They'll have their moment to preach
     On poetry sites the words teach
And leave for another time, another place







http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/religion-or-not.php


Details | Limerick | |

Limerick: Once a lone House Dog led a dog's life

Limerick : Once a lone House Dog led a dog’s life

Once a lone House Dog led a dog’s life
Always wondered about life with wife
Day and night heard House gripe
Master duck Mistress swipe
Happy his kids grew up sans his wife!

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2014


Details | Limerick | |

Contempt of Court

A lawyer once said, he could get me free.
No trial held, just a hearing you see
A traffic ticket was all.
My lawyer, so very small.
Not seen by judge, contempt of court, jailed me.


Details | Limerick | |

Sweltering in sweater

Sweltering in sweater

On a hot day, a certain granddaughter
Makes her grandpa  don  a  woolen  sweater
To play with her. Her strange whim
One can’t ignore. But, for him,
Than its roasted feel, nothing was sweeter.
15 Jun 12


Details | Limerick | |

Indian Giving Brother

Received gift one day, from another
Given in love, from older brother
Borrowed back at one time
Not returned, what a crime
Worst Indian giver, than any other


Details | Limerick | |

Let's Duke It Out

<                   Once came along an man named John Wayne
                     Winchester by his side causes more pain                           
                     Dusty trails ballroom brawls
                     Battlefield's muddy crawls
                     The duke of western inflicting gains


Details | Limerick | |

Joe The Canary

Joe the Yellow Canary Lives next door to sweet Mary A frog came in her house Poor Mary gave a big rouse Joe gave a shriek like fury


Details | Limerick | |

Eve's Anxiety

Blue suit man says 'It shall be positive'
'your results this golden week' except Eve
all red workers say 'amen!',
She looks green like under ten,
Prays on church peach floor that 'hers negative'.

Kate wearing brown gown asked 'why the worry?'
She pulls a grey chair to tell her story,
went to white Lab for AIDS test,
her pink blood short,she lacks rest,
If result is white,she won`t be sorry.

*white(or clean)--negative
*red workers are the Ushers  in the church


Contest:"Tickle Me Pink" sponsored by Lisa cooper-Dark poetess


Details | Limerick | |

Bam Bam

Slam poetry, bam, bam, bam
Reminds me of the Flintstones, ma’am
Rough language meant to cut.
Great Gazoo got the rut.
Nowadays even our Uncle Sam.


Details | Limerick | |

Old Man Moe

Everyone Called Him Old Man Moe,

Living Free Like A Hobo.

He Once Hopped A Train

In The Driving Rain

But, Slipped And Lost His Big Toe.


Details | Limerick | |

My Cell Makes Me Need Seltzer

Your tiny symbols make me squint and squall.
The eyes are getting older after all.
I'm cool enough to text.
But what do I push next?
I need a kid to show me how to call!



for contest"Techno-Limerick"
sponsored by Carolyn Devonshire


Details | Limerick | |

Trilling Tray

                                                     Trilling Tray (Limerick)

                                  Parrots have men in the palm of their hands
                         Through the pirated palimpsest that is from man's land
                         There is no point getting into panic about the tall story
                                     Touch me if it is a wild and wacky story
                         But if it is worthwhile to the core, (then) hold my hands.


Details | Limerick | |

Ma Dropping It Like Its Hot (Limerick)

Ms. Potter caught her daughter Lollipop
There dancing in the grocer’s parking lot
And scolded her profusely
‘Til someone cranked up “Juicy”…
Ms. Potter stopped and dropped it like it’s hot


Comments:
How soon some forget that they were once young too. If the power of dance is ones 
passion it is not the worst vice a child can have, in fact it is good exercise.  One 
Love


Details | Limerick | |

courage

The music coarses through my veins
As i run down the street
i don't need to look back 
to hear the pounding of the feet

My mind races as i sprint
my lungs struggling to continue
but i hear death come closer
not knowing what to do

i see the glint of metal
as he races after me
not fighting for his honor
it is just blood he wants to see

is this how a hero dies, i ask myself boldly
is this what happens when you refuse to back down
my heart starts to fail, my feet start to slow
with barely enough energy, to turn myself around

All i ever did
was stand up to that school bully
and it may have been the last thing i do
i now understand quite fully

if only i had stepped down
let him spit and walk away
instead, i had to open my mouth
and so the consequences i must now pay

i muster up the courage
puff out my chest and turn 
but instead of feeling steel
i feel a steady burn

for in my frantic flight
i must have stepped down wrong
for after everything I'd done
i knew that it was sprung

i fall down to the pavement
fearing the very end
that school bully who chose to chase me
would soon learn to comprehend

that i stood up for myself
and would not back down now
i fought back the tears
and stood without a sound

i waited and waited and waited
for the bully to fly around the block
i sat back down and teared up,
as i yanked away the sock

the pain that radiated shot
through my leg and through my bones
anyone one could tell 
from the screeching of my tone

i hobbled to the bus stop
picking out the broken glass
the blood hit the ground
and the ground hit my ass

i sat there in my tears
pondering a lie to tell
one that told nothing of my flight
and one that i could sell

i came home late that night
with relief my mother slept
i hobbled to my bed
and passed out as i wept. 



Details | Limerick | |

Mo' Joe Skinny Legs and All (Limerick)

(Remembering the Great Joe Tex)

There once was a girl called Sweet Nellie-Rose
Who fell in love with a guy called Mo’ Joe
Guys said she was too skinny
‘Til Nellie wore that Mini
Skinny legs ~ mini skirt and all… wrapped Joe


Comments:
I gotcha wondering just who’s mojo was working
that day :-)


Details | Limerick | |

Porky Pig, Elmer Fudd, Bugs Bunny, GPSs

I’m hunting wabbits , are you going too.
Da duh da duh da downtown is a clue.
Watch out for that, doc.
I’ll think I will walk.
Ti, ti, ti, turn quick, wha, wha, what  I do.  


written for
Sponsor Carolyn Devonshire 
Contest Name Techno-Limericks  


Details | Limerick | |

Nose Hair Remover

This thing cuts the hair that’s inside my nose
On a triple-A battery it goes
Just one thing I ask of thee:
You must use it carefully
I took it a bit too far, and it shows!



For Carolyn Devonshire's contest


Details | Limerick | |

Up A Creek Without A Paddle

<                              once this girl had seen her own shadow
                                got scared begun to wag and waddle
                                crossed over center line
                                hit by semi's behind 
                                now shes up creek without a paddle 







Writen by Katherine Stella

Entry For Rick Parise's 
Shadows And Lines Contest
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

JessBeth

There once was a lady named JessBeth
Who was no relation to MacBeth
A poet in time
With flawless rhyme
That we’ll remember long after her death


Details | Limerick | |

Antics Dealer 1

Antics  dealer

I dealt  in antiques as well as antics
Once chased a  sterling  ‘bronze’,  very  unique
It  stood  its ground and just blushed
Till, by and by, I felt  bushed
And chastised,  quit things risqué and of  risk.


03 jun 12


Details | Limerick | |

Slamming Politicians

They slam each other every day.
Tearing them apart in a sly way,
Truth I say, what a lie.
Political games cry.
Give them cement shoes, drop into bay.

Next election, vote for three blind mice,
They would fare better, than roll of dice.
Vote now for mystery.
Go down in history.
For they have no “tales-tails“, truths suffice.


Details | Limerick | |

The Dragon Mouth

.

There's an insulated home in the south
Where lived one and only old dragon mouth
         From his lips insults spout
         A.C. now heat blocks out
The old dragon mouth still a cottonmouth




Contest: Single Limerick Contest: Horrible Bosses
Sponsor: Carolyn Devonshire
*Note on about this poem


Details | Limerick | |

crazy lies

There once was a girl named Dan
She was so brave she battled a can 
The can was so crazy and brave 
But in the end the prince was saved
So that’s how I became tan 


Details | Limerick | |

Ms Jack And Tack

There was once a lady called Ms Jack
Who lived near a grass region called Tack.
When prickled by the grasses
On her way with her glasses.
She let down her glasses and her Jack.



 
For Andrea's "Show Me The Funny" Contest. 


Details | Limerick | |

OpalFlower

There was a lady from Galveston Bay
A great little poet I heard someone say
An Opal Sunflower
With the gift of word power
And a style that is never passe


Details | Limerick | |

My First Love

Got my first car when I was sixteen The coolest blue car I had ever seen A hot rod fuel injected My foot to floor connected I’m surprised I lived to seventeen I loved my Datsun 280 z A birthday gift from my parents to me Drove it for eight long years When I sold it, I cried tears To this day, I still miss my baby *My first car was a 1976 Datsun 280z By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders for the My First Car Contest (Carol Brown) second place


Details | Limerick | |

tickets

There it sat staring my way Shiny and silver with grey. They were yelling my name but those tickets aren't the same Now a days.


Details | Limerick | |

Christmas, Eighty Two

It was Christmas way back in eighty two
Head in hands not knowing what to do
All I see is a door
Never been here before
Do I take the next step and walk through

As I sit here and trawl through my life
From five years old, full of strife
The light I see clear
Could my end be so near
Past images begin to run rife

Suddenly, a hand on my shoulder
Words of wisdom being told as we solder
Tell me James of your past
Sharing burdens, be them cast
You have many reasons to grow older

Just think of the birds in the trees
And the leaves that dance in the breeze
All the songs you enjoy
Now your a man from a boy
And grasp your tomorrows and seize

From that moment I have never looked back
I now absorb my past and it's flack
My thanks is to Frank
Whom that night stood by my flank
When he died, my thanks never lacked


Details | Limerick | |

Poorman's Lottery

I once noticed some of the Poor,

Heading to the gas station door.

A magic ticket to buy,

only to leave with a sigh,

And collect cans to buy some more.




For Lottery Ticket Limerick Contest


Details | Limerick | |

Jamming Commercials

Starting earlier every year,
Christmas costs more and more with less cheer.
This year Santa fell flat.
His diet took the fat,
Elves said,” this will not be good” they fear.

Watching commercials, they got idea.
Close diners, except pizzeria.
Each ad on T.V. now,
Pictures of pizzas wow!
Santa gains, without diarrhea.

Ads worked, he got a jolly belly.
Elves solemnly sat in a deli.
Commercialized just right,
His red suit fit so tight,
They needed petroleum jelly.


Details | Limerick | |

Life is a lottery

We three sat in the bar
Horse racing on TV
Lets take a gamble said we
As the horse,s  lined up, just three
We all backed a different horse
None of us won, how come
My stake was a straight win on the second
My mate had a straight win on the third
No prize for second or third  place
You should have seen my face
We turn to third man with joy
He must have won, oh boy
No, he gambled on a forecast
First two past the post in correct order 
One won, the other last
This gambling game is murder
Three men, three horses
Six possible winning outcomes 
Life sure is a lottery
Stick to solitaire
Eventually you will get there
Winning the lottery
Twenty million horses lined up
You need the first six past the post to win
Throw your tickets in the bin


Details | Limerick | |

The Scary Sound

Tap, tap, bang sounds coming from basement door
Haven't been down there in over a score
Now afraid of that sound
Louder now with a bam
Open the door attacked by laundry galore


Details | Limerick | |

February's Valentine

Valentine’s Day is a day of great romance
One of which two warm kisses might enhance
During our short kissing trips
You fall and your dress rips
Our hearts must not be in a magical trance

Russell Sivey

Entrant into Linda-Marie The Sweetheart of P.S.'s "FEBRUARY FUNNY BONE" contest

1/30/2012


Details | Limerick | |

Trickling of a Flame

I look up towards the dying light Looking for some inkling of delight The trickling of a flame Was calling out my name And saying that I am the night
Russell Sivey


Details | Limerick | |

Old Straw Hat

                    The old straw hat was worn,
              Its top center was torn.
              Some scissors and thread,
               Fixed the hole in its head.
              Till it is worn out once more.


Details | Limerick | |

Outback Jack

He goes by the alias Outback Jack
Telling tales of OZ, he’s got the knack
Little Joe's no punk
He’s an Aussie hunk
Whom I’d love to get in the sack


Details | Limerick | |

Nine Months Gestation

Anyone from LA to New York knows babies are not brought by the stork. It takes nine months gestation for a new generation. Didn’t you learn that in school you dork?


Details | Limerick | |

A Little of Life's Struggles

Life’s struggles compounded daily Whatever ails me, it hurts like crazy I believe it could be, a little bird and a bee That came across pretty bad, obviously Noticing my clothes are not on me
Russell Sivey Entrant into Tracie's "Make Me Giggle... Make Me Laugh..." contest


Details | Limerick | |

The Thief of Life

My eyes do not deceive me
Why doesn’t she grieve me
My heart does not beat
For any of her deceit
Her plastic life thieves me

Russell Sivey


Details | Limerick | |

Rainy Forecast

One day took a really long walk
I forget to bring my plastic smock
When it started to rain
I had myself to blame
Luckily I have a really cute doc


Details | Limerick | |

Special Friendships in My Life

Every now and then Along comes a new friend With a friendship to last Through times that pass Together until the end Then even a time or two Meeting more makes a few With special times to share The laughter, fun and care Of the life we each go through I’ll cherish this opportunity To have friendships of integrity As I’ve had a few times before And to be sure there’ll be more A true friend to them I’ll always be With this bond of special friends Grace, Deann and Bronwyn Even if life sets us apart We all know in our hearts We’ll be angels together in heaven With Love, Florence McMillian (Flo)


Details | Limerick | |

A Fan of Television

I am a stay at home television freak. 
That elusive remote is what I seek. 
I don't have to go out. 
I know without a doubt 
that television makes my life far from bleak.

Inspired by another member's poem.


Details | Limerick | |

Winning Strategy


Winning Strategy
Dr. James E. Martin
©March, 2014

What does it take to win?
When does winning begin?
From the start it must start
With a committed heart
And see it through to the end!


Details | Limerick | |

His Trip To The Moon limerick

There once was a boy we called chase-face
he dreamed of reaching outer space.
With this dream in his heart
our family will part
and this boy we never could replace.

We all dreaded that day late in June
when we knew he would fly to the moon.
So a party we had
even though we were sad
as the countdown was scheduled for noon.

Chase couldn't get rid of the grin
or the drool that was right on his chin.
He was laughing so loud 
while we stood watching proud.
His journey would finally begin.

The trip was a total success.
Of course, we expected no less.
We've done all we can.
He now is a man
and all that he sees he will bless. 


Details | Limerick | |

Boy Am I Hungry

Battle of the bulge
From greesy foods love to divulge
Over lips and through the gums
Love handles now do come
When will I learn not to indulge


Details | Limerick | |

A DIFFERENT PERSON

    It takes a different kind of person, to know when they
    Are wrong, it takes a different kind of person, when they are down
    To stand up tall,
  
  
    It takes a special kind of person to be a special friend,
    One who will always be there, until the very end~!


Details | Limerick | |

overboard

Im happy as long as im free
so why live by admiralty?
im not on a boat
my thoughts make me float
this continent isnt a sea


Details | Limerick | |

change makes cents

evolution isnt a scam
progression is all that i am
so hurdles i clear
without any fear
means i dont need parts of a ram..


Details | Limerick | |

Laugh Why Not

The world can bring on a hell of a depression
You feel like you’re in an oppression
So I’d rather make you laugh
Even for a minute or a half
To disconnect you from realities connection 


Details | Limerick | |

Thank You!

What sweet relief it is to see
How very well life can be
With water and power and all things Good
I thank you God for making life so smooth
All by your very own decree!


Details | Limerick | |

EXEMPTION


      Congress has a unique way

      Of telling us how to live each day

      They bemoan the problems faced by us all

      Then pass a law when the roll is called      

      Exempting themselves, to our dismay


Details | Limerick | |

cigs

like smoke from the end of my cig
she's dancing all over, you dig?
so after i hit
the rush that i get
brings exstacy under my wig


Details | Limerick | |

Zounds Losing Twenty Pounds

My frustration with my weight abounds.
I am trying to lose twenty pounds.
I want to do it here
during this brand new year.
I know all of you have heard these sounds.


Details | Limerick | |

Her past formed her life

As a girl she always wanted to be loved
But no one ever showed her what it meant to be loved
She tried to be joyful and make others happy
But nothing ever changed her life was still crappy
One day she met someone that started admiring her
He started to show what love meant to her 
It was pleasant at first fun and gifts
Then something happened she felt like jumping off a cliff
He started doing things that didn't seem right
Every time she tried to stop she lost the fight
She thought she caused it she really didn't know
She didn't get why this man would act so low
She felt very guilty hid it in her heart deep
She forgot how to sleep all she did was weep
As her sadness grew the man finally started to see
He decided to leave and she was finally free
She started living her way started to forget the pain
But as she moved forward it was in her heart as stain
While she grew older she started going the wrong ways
Men did whatever in bed while she just lays
They came and went but never wanted her as a wife
Drugs boos and men became the definition of her life
Depressed she knew her life was going down the drain
Behind the doors she cried hard like rain
She envied the happy girls never would she have that luck
This was her life always she would be stuck
Her life turned upside down things started to go well
She met her first love she was finally out of hell
He was there all along she just didn't know
He finally revealed himself when he started to glow
I think you may know him
But may not have seen him
His name is.... God


Details | Limerick | |

CHILDHOOD

Those days when the hours fluttered by
Like the wings of a bright butterfly.
Suntanned skin and bare feet--
And the breeze was as sweet
As the fragrance of blueberry pie.


Details | Limerick | |

The Rest of the Story

It was a dare that took me to the edge
Stepping up I climbed blindly upon ledge.
Blindfolded such a mistake,
My legs bend and start to shake.
Hearing those words, your choice is just my pledge.

I fell to my knees in a bunch of trees.
I am not dead, but I have a disease.
Poison ivy was so thick.
Covered my body so quick,
Forever more, you will scratch, Harry, please.





Note: Limerick Title  "Should Have Known" by Paula Swanson


Details | Limerick | |

Unblock

Tongue tied and twisted my mouth is
I can’t say limerick as it is
It’s not very hard
To yell “rook card”
To say I have some winning hands

Russell Sivey

Entrant into Destroyer ~ Poet's "BLOCK~ BLOCK~ LIKERICK" contest


Details | Limerick | |

Thoughts

Thoughts run through my head
wishing some bad souls were shead
sometimes I think for days 
mind filled with a lot of evil ways
my soul will never become dead


Details | Limerick | |

The Shooting Star

Spishu,spishu the shooting star
Noisily flies across night bar
Lights life for split second
Then wonder if beckon
Which one is being called afar


Details | Limerick | |

Past Life

In past life I hailed from Shitterton 
and loved good food and plenty of action
Once a witch visited town
Who taught her art to me clown
With my magic wand I had more fun

A lass named Bustyview took my fancy
Gave me no airs, vane was her beauty
Decided to trick her in
Prince became I to her grin 
Lived thereafter happily with she

Form: Limerick, 2 stanzas of 5 lines each 
(syl. count:9,10,7,7,9,10,9,7,7,9), Rhyme: AABBA


Details | Limerick | |

Poor Poe

Poor Poe - Jack Horne
There Was!  ( A COLLABORATION )

by~ JACK HORNE

There was a Sheila down under,
Whose dress sense was a big blunder,
She bent over, said,‘Grit’ -
As her tight trousers split,
And farted like claps of thunder!
 
There was an old man from Glencoe,
Whose kilt was made of itchy wool.
Like he had scores of fleas,
He scratched his hairy knees -
And parts where you don’t want to go!


by~ POET DESTROYER

There was Sheila visiting the land Glencoe,
She stared at this old man name Poe.
She was a corny young lady.
Laughed while he scratched his shady,
Than she smiled and said hello.

This old man Poe, was a fine dancer.
Who fell for Shelia's down under enhancer.
Down on his hairy knees,
He begged pretty please!
And confessed the fleas are really cancer.

A collaboration with * Jack Horne

PD's collaboration contest


Details | Limerick | |

Lean Times

Lean Times
When times are lean and mean I have to conserve
I rely on pocket change in reserve
Like pennies, dimes and quarters
Times like these I might loiter
Anything to fill my tank and preserve


Details | Limerick | |

Once Along Time Ago

    Once along time ago, when I was only 3,
    I was sitting on my lawn, and a bird sat on
    my knee, He sang a song of Au tum , and then went
    his merry way,I often stop and think about ,that very
    spec ail day. For I swore I saw that same old bird sitting
    on my lawn and he was singing and singing that same
    old lovely song.

    Did he know who I was ?
    Did he remember me?
    Did he know that years ago
    He sat upon my kn


Details | Limerick | |

Tip for tea

The most amazing thing
In world
When u make one soul
Smile from deep of heart
With no attention


Details | Limerick | |

My first ride quickly died contest

The day I was liberated and free,
After a hard summer job finally,
I picked up my used, “new car”
I did not park it that far
Suddenly there was a catastrophe

At sixteen, tears came pouring down my face
Through the window I watched in sheer disgrace
A man smashed into my baby
I ran out of work CRAZY
My Honda, short lived, was now a big mess.


By: sabina nicole
contest: my first ride


Details | Limerick | |

My Passion - Poetry

I love poetry with a passion, so much That I write it every day as such I really get into it The very thought of it As if I’m writing without a crutch I write a poem with great expression Writing all about my extreme passion For writing a poem I have to show’em I can write about anything of a fashion
Russell Sivey Entrant into ???'s "My Passion" contest 2/26/2012


Details | Limerick | |

UNDER THE FIRE

Under millions of stars...................eyes deeply fixed to the golden moon..............when dew on the grass is shinning like pieces of glasses...............on the bus to town................like a monkey on a tree,
With my favorite blue pen................sometimes draft in my cell..................the strongest bond love,
My mysterious pain.....................undying dreams.................never-ending hope.............................
Beautiful rhymes from my inner being............................a mental obstruct................struggles with lines.........................I write...........................hoping for some coins..................the bag to better my life.........................the clue..........................a shoe...........................ask even Valarie.........................add wit.....................sometimes filled with so much questions................may be its for perfection.....................intercession....................aren’t I  worth anything?.....................all my time a breath of pain............all stretched hands twinge me......................all my ambitions go wrong..................am but a wig.............my dreams are like birds.............everything a pack of misfortune..........................am dead beat of this oceanic pain......................sick of the waterfalls in my eyes....................the friendships that cleaves my heart out............................tired of the thorns raining from the skies.....................I hold on to prayers.......................I still hurt my bones........................am an apprentice of writing............................a millionaire in searching...... ................. trying to piece the rest of my dilapidated life............................yet the darkest days are ahead of me......................am rotting in pain.........................am carrying an album full of bad memories.....................my head is creating  successful future pictures......... ...........maybe the sun will shine once again........................maybe the color of life will return...........................maybe the planet will celebrate with me........................but now am still alone..........................if death wont silence the struggles of my existence........................i pray it will free me from this pain inside.......................now my ulcer is aching.........................i can’t afford the hospital. 


Details | Limerick | |

WHATS THIS WORLD COMING TO

 



I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS WORLD IS COMING TO,
AND I REALLY DON'T LIKE IT VERY MUCH.

PEOPLE AREN'T THE SAME , THER'RE JUST SO OUT OF TOUCH,
ME MYSELF ,I AM CHANGING, BUT I THINK IT'S  FOR THE GOOD,
CHANGING IN  ALL THE WAYS THAT I  THINK I SHOULD.

NEVER  WOULD I  HAVE THOUGHT THAT THINGS WOULD EVER BE,
LIKE THEY ARE TODAY, IT'S ALL A MISTERY,
 SO WHEN I LOOK BACK AT THE PAST , AND  I SEE HOW MUCH  I GREW,
 THIS IS WHEN I WONDER " WHAT'S THIS WORLD COMMING TO?


Details | Limerick | |

OPRAH'S BIG GIVE


If you're like me and love charity
past Sunday nights were a sight to see,
It was Oprah's Big Give
and as long as I live,
I've not seen so many folks set free.


Some were freed from debt they could not pay
some got transport to go on their way,
Others had dreams come true
and I enjoyed them too,
This was an awesome show I must say.


A sick man got his mortgage paid off
before the "Big Give" his life was tough,
But he's happy today
with his kids he could play,
No more worries for he had enough.


Many more people were also blessed
as they were saved from a life of stress,
So I thank you Oprah
for starting this shower,
Now we'll all give whether more or less.


Details | Limerick | |

What to Do

We had a plan, to follow true.
If we do not, what resigns the clue?
Follow the leaders now.
After they break a vow,
Even though, they know not, what to do


Details | Limerick | |

All the Days We're Apart

You think you have killed my heart
Ending everything like my thought
Little do you know
My hate does it show
I feel better all the days we’re apart

Russell Sivey

Entrant into Sidney ~ LeeAnn's "A valentine Limerick~..." contest

1/16/2012


Details | Limerick | |

Ladder to Salvation

I climbed the ladder to salvation With bumps and bruises at each station We never saw eye to eye Kept saying I’ll never die Maybe heaven will be a vacation
Russell Sivey


Details | Limerick | |

Prize or Surprise

I spied inside walls to much surprise.
Sometimes with smiles, then tears, into rise.
Sometimes, some things, unheard,
Are better un-interred,
Truly this will never provide prize.



Written for

Sponsor Michael J. Falotico 
Contest Name "A FLY ON THE WALL" 


Details | Limerick | |

Lost Freedom

When did we lose our country free?
Our ancestors set rules in degree.
Now they tell us what’s good
Do what we say, understood.
Old George would cut more than a cherry tree


Details | Limerick | |

Politicians Gather Money

One thing said about politicians
They can gather money like  morticians
Who bring dead for burial
That go to meet Gabriel
While politicians greet contributions


Details | Limerick | |

Martha Stewart

There once was a domestic diva named Stewart,
Who started a decorating empire and grew it.
It seems everthing she touched turned to gold,
Until she fell victim to that adage of old;
She succumbed to greed and promptly blew it.


Details | Limerick | |

Working For Less

Working For Less
Dr. James E. Martin
©March, 2014

He’s working now for less
And under a ton of stress.
Many asked him why
He didn’t simply fly
And relinquish the casual dress.


Details | Limerick | |

My Morning Confession

Ok, I guess I'll confess! 
My hair is REALLY a mess! 
I just drove them to school
and they said ''Mom, that's not cool''.
But today I could really care less! 

''Today is my only day off.
Just let your friends snicker and scoff.
Does it matter to you
if I wear slippers or shoes? 
Is your image of me that far off''? 

When she looked at my head in the car
her jaw dropped and she said ''Oh my stars! ''
''What is that on your head? 
Is it living or dead? ''
I'm so glad we don't have to drive far! ''

Well, I may not be looking my best
but, what I saw I would never have guessed! 
In the back of my hair
was what made the kids stare.......
cause it looked like a fluffy birds nest! 

Oh, ''Who cares if my hair looks absurd? ''
''It's the new style.....or haven't you heard? 
You should feel slightly blessed 
that I even got dressed........
and I made a new home for a bird! '' 


Details | Limerick | |

My Drink is Coke

I ask a great man, “What coke do you like?”
Then I made it higher in that delight
I now love that drink
Beverage I think
Is better than any other alike

Russell Sivey

10/29/11

Entrant into Francine Roberts, “Pick a Beverage, any Beverage” contest


Details | Limerick | |

Limrick: 2-27-2010


There once was a man named Roland,
Mr Noland went off to Poland,
He lost all his stuff
And that was enough,
Let's feel bad for Roland Noland.


Details | Limerick | |

Heart Of Glass

My love is so pure ...My heart is made off glass..
Everyday you see through .. My heart off glass..
Every crack you see .. In my heart off glass..
Still you chip away... At my heart of glass..
With all your nasty words.. You crack it some more.
My heart off glass.

Every day i cover up and hide ,My heart off glass
Yet you still see through .. My heart off glass..
You've broke it so many times .. Its just fell apart 

Pieces lost here and everywhere .. Gone for ever more 
Now you've broke .. My heart off glass..
Still you come back .. For even more 
Off my heart off glass. 


Details | Limerick | |

Chicken Code

A naked chicken crossed the road
He needed to get to his abode.
He was puzzled you see
About the mystery,
Chicken or egg question, was just a code.


Details | Limerick | |

Warfare

this inner city warfare
congress won't give us our share 
a crust of bread for us
a plague they won't discuss 
sounds like a sick "triumphant despair"


Details | Limerick | |

Holy Crap

Na- Nu Na-Nu
greetings earthlings How do you do
I'm captain Zendor from planet Sur Render 
shazbot someone crashed into my spaceship's fender
hit me so hard made me go krap-poo


Details | Limerick | |

Morgellons Bug

There is a new bug that has come to town.
It itches you, marks you and makes you frown.
Doctors say; all in your mind,
Since there is nothing to find,
It might be a two thousand twelve, break down.


Details | Limerick | |

I Fell In Love

I fell in love; my heart goes thump, thump.
You, dear one, a beautiful tree stump.
Creases that shine so clear.
Your presence, calls me near.
Say you love me, while I have this bump.

My heart craves in desire, for your rings.
Fire burns inside, as the minstrel sings.
Your caress sometimes rough,
I am your man; I am tough.
Say you will be mine, please, my lust springs.

My darling, thus true, you are my stump.
Adore resting on you, on my rump.
I ache for answer, soon.
Before the budding moon,
My sweet love, do not make me a chump.



Details | Limerick | |

Seahorse Named Henry

There was once a seahorse named Henry
Oceanrider was he for he roamed slovenry
He met Mustany Sally
To change he did not dally
For she was dish told of in heathenry


Details | Limerick | |

Our Lost Women

The oldest trade in historical times
In many places it still is a crime
     Defrocked from their gowns
     Some even took it lying down 
It's the sad ladder of life some climb






http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/life-11.php


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Marked Man

Doncha' see this here battle scar
That I bought at a hard-knock bazaar?
I admit I'm a fool
Yeah? What about you?
Ain't half the idiot YOU are

***For PD's contest


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Missing Link

I often have trouble with the drink
It seems to be harder than you think
With alcohol it’s all over
I’m the one that’s sober
I’ve come out to be the missing link

Russell Sivey


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Computer Shell Game

Digital life discourages thinking,
Laptops encourage time sinking,
Really surfing-the-net,
Is indulging a pet,
For PC’s are pet squirrels chewing nuts who are linking.


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Limelight And Fanfare

Limelight, band music, fanfare
Politicians love gala affairs
Hidden in secret plans sealed
Who would have thought such a deal
By politicians who seemingly care


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Working On the Outside

After so many years working remotely
For the sake of my kids and family
   It is glorious to know
   Of my expertise I can crow
And our cash flow has increased most radically!


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Unleashed

She has completely unleashed all forms of hell
What power she’s unleashing she won’t tell
Absolutely hurtful
Very purposeful
You’ve unleashed all this pain so very well

Entrant into Paula Swanson's "Unleash" contest

2/18/2012


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Limerick: Once a hangman tied the proverbial knot

Limerick: Once a hangman tied the proverbial knot

Once a hangman tied the proverbial knot
On a woman who smoked sizzling pot
Tried as he could his best
To take it all in jest:
Smoke in pot rot the knot round the sot.

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013


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BURNT

Sandra was ready to PLAY
but she told me to go far AWAY
A beauty school QUEEN
would be embarrassed to be SEEN

"You're just not my type,Rodger...if ya know what I MEAN?!"

Ok..so I am not quite the STUD
But at least i'm no Elmer FUDD
Nerds hate to be picked out
however,they are no stick in the MUD

She cherishes RICK
Even though he acts like a -ICK
His Abs are lean and MEAN
A Tom Selleck lookalike MACHINE

They like to blow FACE
and spray me with her can of MACE
This four-eyed man with his pocket protector
Just got burnt by Society's perfect RACE

A chump out of SCHOOL
He is forever a FOOL
The Lasses want tight ASSES
Not a simpleton who can't help but DROOL

The world can kick THEE
Middle-class bullies  still pick on ME
I only answer to the man(upstairs)
He's the only one to set me FREE


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Life

As I sit here in the shadows of what my life should be, I wonder if this pain I feel 
will ever set me free
. The struggles I have felt so deep are carved within my soul the torment of the 
years gone by will forever take their toll.
 Upon this world, there has to be a greater force then fate, for when my days are 
here and gone will I knell beneath the gate?
 Is there really someone who looks over all of human kind, if there is then why 
within my being the peace I cannot find?
 My hands they shake and my bodies numb from the hurt my heart does bare, if 
this is how my life should be, it does not seem quite fair.
They say life is what you make it; well then, I guess I made mine hard, for this I 
will pay the biggest price, a mind and soul that’s scared.
I will look up to the heavens for the strength that I will need to try to face the days 
that lay ahead, for the mercy I will plead.
Dear lord if you are really there please here these words I pray, grant me strength 
to face
this world with courage each new day.
 I am asking for salvation for all the things that I have done, please grant me just 
the peace of mind to feel a bright new sun.
The sun that shines on those with peace, who feel no pain within.
If you grant me this I ask I plead, my new life can begin.

.



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TRUE LOVE

A young man  in the  carpenter trade,
Was proud of the things that he made.
         His production was fine
         Top of the line,
When he sold them was very well paid.

Then he got lonely they say,
He wanted to marry Ann Gray.
         The love of his life
         She would make a good wife,
And give him some children one day!

So he courted her for a while,
With a gracious charm and style.
         He got down on one knee
         Said “will you marry me”,
Then she said “of course” with a smile.
        
That was a long time ago,
And they’re still very happy you know.
         With three children they’re blessed
         And their life’s been the best,
And they just move along with the flow!


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Journey

Like a castaway on the cosmic sea,
life has been a mystery to me
what can I do now, or say,
but think of my yesterdays,
now my soul, and spirit will be free


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Freedoms Not Allowed

Not allowed to chew gum anymore,
What will be next, not able to open door?
This may seem frivolous.
Will be advantageous,
To profiteer, he will know the score. 


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Journey

Out in the World
A mind is found
And starts a life 
Of Love and Strife


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Chirty Limerick

There once was a girl we called Chirty.
She was happy just when she was dirty.
She would sleep with the dogs
and play with the hogs
and stay up catching bugs till 2:30.

She just loved anything that could crawl.
When she'd show me, you know I would bawl.
I can't stand the bugs
but I'll still give her hugs.
(even when she hangs them on her wall) .

One day she was catching a snake
I was praying it only was fake.
It was not only real
but a really BIG deal
when it joined in our swim at the lake.

She's an animal lover, no doubt
and she never stays in.....only out.
When she's old she may change...
that would seem oh so strange
cause this is just what she's about!


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The Birds and the Bees

I think that the birds and the bees are bad
A bird would avoid the bee just a tad
For a bee would really sting
And hurt that flying thing
Avoiding the bee is it’s best iron-clad

Russell Sivey

Entrant into Royal Trevino's "Birds and the bees" contest

2/15/2012


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Wise Mom

Mom had saying; I found out was true
She had many; but this one will do.
Locks keep out the honest.
Thieves will reach the harvest.
Thou shall not steal, some never got clue.


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Follow or Lead?

It’s a hero that take’s the fall 
And the coward historian that writes about them all
It’s better to follow than to lead 
For it is he first that will bleed
You'll have the chance to run away from the brawl


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Soap Opera Emotions

I sat and watched with discernment
As feelings became so fervent
I tried and I tried
To stop, but yet I cried
Smiles were then intermittent


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Politician

There once was a man who could tell no lie.
Could laugh quietly and deeply cry.
Placed into politics,
Then learning, some new tricks.
Now truth forgot, so much by and by.


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Flat Spare Tire

             spare forgotten, now flat, abused,

                  like some veteran overused

                   in at least two world wars

       whose alleged treads are darkened scars,

            burnt, rubbed off rubber, unamused,

        frayed steel threads, no, I'm not excused.


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The Flu Enveloped Me

I started the day wholly fresh and free
Allowing this flu to envelope me
I sparked a fever
Puked up a beaver
Waiting for the day I’ll heal so fully

Russell Sivey

Entrant into ~Gwendolen~'s "The Sneezing Limerick Contest"


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Our Future Face

The future trait of the human race
Planet jumping from place to place
    To be polite and deserve
    For tomorrows preserve
Or once again we will start to lose face


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You Gave Me A Smile

You gave me a smile,  a stranger, how nice,
I didn't even know you, I didn't have to joke or entice,
you gave me a smile, a stranger, how nice.

A smile, such a simple thing to do,
you reminded me of that too,
You gave me a smile, a stranger, how nice.

Your smile has affected me all day,
made me smile at him , instead of what I really wanted to say,
You gave me a smile, a stranger, how nice.....

                        Thanks Carol Brown


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Invasion

One sunny day I went down at the sea
Enjoying the breeze and all I could see
The mighty waves were far gone
When in rolled a wild one!
Invasion by sand! every inch of me!


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Poetry Fad

Slam poetry a form so new
Spoken word more than a view
Some are great some are bad
It is really just a fad
Bringing attention to poetry true


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Really Glad

I was known as the Wrockwardine lad
But I left it to find my own pad
Seems wherever I roam
It will always be home
And returning makes me really glad


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Summer

Summer why can't you come faster?
The only thing I praise is that I'm able to see the sun's shower.
I play through the days and nights.
Hoping June will come and be my Knight.
I don't think I'll make it past this year, without the Summer getting queer.


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American Idol

    For the Idol I sang
with a screech and a twang
caused by a cold in my throat
well I passed the audition
but I cured the condition
now they tell me I can't sing a note!


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ANYTHING GOES

There was a tolerant man
Tolerance was his plan-
He, to decide which is & is not,
Judging tolerance was his lot-
Methinks..he often loses the plot


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Bald Truth

                        sweat on the defoliated landscape

               that had once been his scalp above his nape;

                                      thinks the mirror

                                            is in error,

                believes from the bald truth he can escape !


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I Must'a Been a Beautiful Baby...

I must'a been a beautiful baby,
but that ain't true any more
But try as I might, 
I'm still a pathetic sight,
One that no one can any longer adore


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Flicker Faint, Glimmer Bright

                 Each of us is but a faint shimmer of the Eternal Light;

        some a bit more radiant than most in the deepest, darkest night;

                                                       we flicker,

                                                     we glimmer,

             no matter how faltering, we're guiding lights in our own right!


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SILLY WILLY

Silly Willy with a worm
Had a pocket that would squirm

A Silly Willy was this boy
His pocket worm brought him joy

Don't mistake him for a toy
He is handsome and so coy

Silly Willy's naughty worm
Growing bigger makes girls squirm~


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LeBaron Limerick

I started my driving years with a LeBaron
Everyone knew that my true love was Karen
My heart would be ready
Speed would make me heady
I would leave everywhere just a tear’en

Russell Sivey

*Karen was the name of my first car!

Entrant in Carol Brown's "My First Car" contest

3/1/2012


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The Trail I Trail

                I couldn't be all at once everywhere walkin'

                that's why I never rue over roads not taken;

                                        along my trail

                                          I win, I fail,

             Time shall tell whether or not I was mistaken !


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Things do happen

Funny things or crazy things of the world
Small or big, things do happen in the world
when our heart wants to go some where
but the way becomes tough to go any where
what we give nobody takes
what we ask nobody gives
colorful weather do exist
color of the wind never exist
when we are in a hurry
we often have to worry
scratching the head to think something
working hard to achieve something
All these may be our activities
We may get reward for our abilities
When utilized in a proper way
Then success will be not away
we should always keep in mind
we should never look behind
things of whatever kind
may happen one day
wait for the day


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Twin Bullets

            My teenage son proudly wears a Che Guevarra beret

         and belts out liberation songs from Bob Marley's reggae,

                                       as he fixes the sink

                                     I hum along and think:

           freedom, duty, twin bullets in life's most deadly roulette!



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Yonder Lies Paradise

   Partly heaven, partly hell, before our very eyes,

joy doesn't last, freedom's not forever, beauty dies;

                              transient hours,

                            this world of ours,

   indeed, imperfect, but never far from paradise !


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Old Bleached Gator

Old  granite face enjoyed  job in  sewer
He was king of the under ground brewer
Everyday he'd hide away
With the hot lines he did play
Then old bleached gator scared him away


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Nailed, From a Nail

I listen to people rant and rail
About their sorrows after they fail.
They deny that they sinned;
Say they were wrongly pinned,
But none can be nailed more than nails.

Why do men cover their trails,
Beg and plead to get bails?
They should take what they can,
And act like a man!
For none can be nailed more than nails.


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Need and Greed


                        If we take from Nature more than what we need,

                                   if its mute agonizing we fail to heed,

                                                           abuse it,

                                                         we'll lose it,

                       soon we'll have to pay with our lives for our greed!


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Forbidden Wells

                                     Echoed pealing of far-off bells

                        chases thoughts that swirl somewhere else,


                                                        each mile,

                                                       worthwhile,


                                    thirst is slaked at forbidden wells.


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Holy Rasputin


There once was a sage man named Rasputin,
With filthy beards, and wore cross made of tin.
While preaching his holy crafts,
He met the queen and her staffs.
He slept with them that got him in a bin.


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Not My Way


A friend is what I am by night and day,
Regardless of what other people say,
Oh, the good thing you must note, 
Is that peace and love I sought,
So sleep well, I take not your wife away! 



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' The Domino Effect ' (Limerick # 2)

‘ The Domino Effect ’

There Was A Young Woman, Named Domino
Who Talked … about Anyone and So and So
    Well… She was quite Shocked to Find
             All Her Victims in a Line
Ready to Fall on Her… Just Like - G e r o n i m o !


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Fully Empty


                         Feeling down is really more than just a state of mind

                             or of your wallet fully empty, nothing there to find;

                                                               you ponder

                                                              and wonder,

                              is it your past or your future you're leaving behind?


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Going Through The Motion

        If what  you're doing now is not  worth finishing

          and you keep starting it for the sake of going

                             through the motion,

                                   no emotion,

       then that's a lot of aimless, brainless life-wasting.


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Seconds to Live For

                             You say only if you have something to die for

                                  will you truly desire to live forevermore;

                                                      such oversight,

                                                     in broad daylight,

                            every second may lead nearer to heaven's door!


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Slick Willie

There was a young man from Hope,
Who was asked if he ever smoked dope?
He replied that he had,
And it wasn't too bad,
But he certainly didn't inhale that rope.




























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Forgone Conclusion

I was gone b- four
they knew it
I had a sense
of in-tu-it,
And no one caught on,
That I was somehow gone,
And, this, this life, I blew it.


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Ordinarily Forever


                 lovers talk a lot about forever,

           about lifeless life without the other,

                           and they mean it

                              every minute

           before a fight, divorce or whatever !


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Presumptuous Assumption

                  he presumes that people find him unassuming

                    and about his humility he keeps on boasting;

                                       looks down his nose

                                           at you and those

                   he assumes as presumptuous, as assuming !


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Thank Mother

           Whether or not you were there it would have been the same;

        you would have cast no shadow, you would have had no name;

                                                  if not for her,

                                             your own mother,

           from whose own life-sustaining, love-giving womb you came.


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So Beware


               some folks do find it very cool

                 to use you just like any tool;

                        at first, they're true,

                       then they make you

            feel like an ass, look like a fool!


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Stings and Kinks


                             Oh, for a life with no worries, no kinks,

                            possible in this world, everyone thinks;

                                                     I disagree,

                                                that just can't be,

                        because when life loses its stings, it stinks!


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Speakin' In Spokane

I ain't got nutt'en to say,
I be shy, an scared anyway,
To public speak,
My mind too weak,
I'll only go on if you pay...


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' Sweet, Little Man ... ' (Limerick # 3)

             ‘ Sweet, Little Man ’

There Was the Sweetest, Little Man, Named Nate
    Who was so Bald… He got a Headache
      From the Kisses, that were Planted
On His ( 2 Month-Old Head )… He Demanded …
“Why Won’t Mama, Put A Cap On My Pate ?