Sweet and Sour hectic sign
Love me, trust me, the stars align
Balance of truth and dare
Good and Evil, full of care
Blind when it comes to blood line
There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'
but when it got little
his pills became skittles
until he O.D.'d on Viagra
© ~JSLambert 2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!
Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '
'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust!
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.
'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much,
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'!
Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.
The arms of the willow started to sway
and this curious glow rippled my way.
While flirting with my feet,
nature played a song so sweet.
The lake our dance floor 'til the sun's first ray.
Democracy now that is a laugh
When the voting is all stacked with graft
And I will give you a plug
If you punch out that lug
If you believe me you’re really daft!
You say you’re poor and you’re not real able
To put food and some bucks on the table
Just right say the rich
Starve and don’t *itch
Or drop by and muck out my stable!
Grad’s from Vassar and Yale all abhor
Those in Appalachia with dirt floors
But they own the coal mines
And their wealth is refined
They won’t mess up their minds keeping score.
You can’t get a real education
In this righteous American nation
Well go read a book
Or go shoot a crook
Rise to your appropriate station!
Who am I, oh, who am I?
Just a poser child Borderline?
A series of bold contradictions
Led on by doctors false predictions
Diagnosing all the time...
Angry outbursts fill the air,
Throwing objects everywhere,
They drug me up, because they're lazy
It's too much work to help the crazy
I hate the pills, but they don't care
Take the drugs, and you'll feel better,
We'll smoke some bud, and chill together
But even if I smoked the weed
Surely that's not all I need
The lovely high won't last forever
I get attatached to everyone,
But when they get too close, I run
So many arrows in my heart
Cupid shoots, but then I part
Not phased by all the wrong I've done
So put me on more medication,
I'll throw in some dedication,
But even then it's not enough
This emptiness is still too tough
All that's left is contemplation
On Valentines day you broke my heart.
Having an affair wasn't too smart.
Something inside me died.
"Forgive me", you cried.
"Without you I will fall apart"
From your tainted love I have flown.
You thought I wouldn't make it on my own.
Now you see you were wrong.
Without you I am strong.
I would have left sooner had I known.
I bet you wish that I was still yours.
Life's so much better since I closed those doors.
Life is now sugary sweet.
Breathlessly swept off my feet.
Captured my heart is a man who adores.
Written by: Cecilia Macfarlane Jan 27/12
For Sidney ~ LeeAnn contest : A Valentine Limerick
What will their eternity win?
Greed, as a vice makes some men grin.
Money is their God.
Poor folks bear guffawed.
Then games bring a different kingpin!
© June 1, 2011
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Run, jump, scream, duck, dodge and leap
Try to stay on your running feet
Honey in the hive
The bees are alive
Run, jump, scream, don't fall and leap!
You used to be my strength, my rock
I looked to you for comforting thoughts
Till you thinned like paper
Your caring tapered
And like scissors you cut me off
Received 1st place in PD's "rock paper scissors" contest
Slams Destroyed Her Head
She was slammed by slam poetry, boo hoo!
Some folks wondered about the hullabaloo.
When bombarded with dread,
Sad thoughts destroyed her head.
Now, she thinks she’s a blithering cuckoo!
© July 17, 2010
There's a gal named PamelaKaye
Her writing style, poetic buffet
A sweet Texas tart
Who has a big heart
And a buttocks the size of Bombay
Any pretty woman turned his head
He liked them all so it is said
Then one day to his surprise
They no longer caught his eye
His sexual desire totally died
You’ll find us tied up with regret
We elephants never forget
This isn’t myth bunk
Thoughts can’t stay in a trunk
But play with the brain’s tape cassette
Were an anomaly that amazes.
Our life and all of its phases.
I guess I'll meet him later.
When up my spirit raises.
Out apon the sea.
Its hard to catch some relife.
Or find some time to set willy free.
It's a priates life no need to back your
Just grab a pint.
When in port avoid the sea hags.
Swab the decks and please if
ya gotta puke lean over the side.
Be a good little sea bandit
or you'll be learning were Davey Jones does
We got fish for breakfest supper and lunch.
Can somone please help the captain.
ya know with a hook for a hand its easy to
get your pants in a bunch.
I gotta walk the plank again ?
Hey it's really rude sticking me with that knife.
It sure would be nice if we put this ship in the water.
Do more than drinking and dreaming of the pirates life.
I really dont trust a captian with a poodle.
It really gets old being harrased.
And cleaning up fee fee's doodle
Dont let Larry steer.
After the tenth time it gets old.
running a ground to go fetch a beer.
No sir I dont belive we'll run into the loch ness monster
off the jersey shore.
No I dont belive the worlds flat.
And I dont care if the five year old first mate swore.
The crows nesk is a perfect place to hide from your
Were heading the wrong way check the gps.
Yes I really cant take this pirates life.
Yes captian I really doubt A mermaid stole
all the rum.
What's the catch of the day?
Sea monster sure I'll have some.
The captian is crabby and it's time for the
first mates nap.
The cook isnt crying cause he's choppin onions
Its cause he finished the briges of Madison County
yes he's a bit of a sap.
It's probaly not best to duel with a butter knife.
As we set sail yes mam we''ll have the first mate
back befor sundown.
It's kinda messed up living this modern pirates life.
There was a time when I stood tall
Especially in college, playing NCAA Volleyball.
Oh, the trips we went on to the various meets
Winning and losing in those much vaunted heats.
We weren't great then, now I can't jump at all.
There is a certain kind of game to play
It states that you can win in any way
Scratch off the secret spot
Thinking you’ve won a lot
Disappointed, you lose every penny
Entrant into Susan Burch's "Lottery Ticket Limerick" contest
(Haiku)- * Motive, infidelity messing with the Queen Bee's Honey*
Queen Bee sits on throne,
Bumble and drone bees as one
Sample flowers dew
(Limerick) - *Admission of guilt leads to compensation*
Indeed this is how the story unfolds,
Pete said, "It's a poor rat with only one hole"...
Love had taught a sad lesson;
Divorce court was now in session,
Judge rules favor, Pete's pockets full of holes...
(Couplet) - *Take vows seriously payback often belongs to Spouse - Queen Bee*
Love said, "Pete too late you've opened your peepers"....
"Man, you should know it was cheaper to please her"!
Submitted for P.D.'s Divorce Club Contest (Haiku-Limerick-Couplet)
~Born of kingship that shall never expire
Of eternal kingdom I shall be heir
With cosmic mind I do have an aspire
~My positive trait with which I relate
`Tis my I am love, I abstain from hate
I am my brother’s keeper
I’m cheater of grim reaper
I love my-self, my eternal soul mate
~Born to be king, of this self I rejoice
Creature of love, I was given a choice
Verily you too
Pending you pursue
Shall we all rise up unison in voice!
Written by: John Moses Freeman
For and in Honor of: Kristen Bruni
And Contest: “Love Me Why?”
There once was a serial killer
His life was one sickening thriller
From the bodies he’d saves
And the ones in the graves
His life was one bloody chiller
Tho his mental state wasn’t quite normal
And his social skills never that formal
He loved people to pieces
Even after life ceases
With dead bodies he does like to dabble
Now that sounds rather creepy you say
That killing is how one spends his day
While it’s not quite a profession
More like an obsession
In the end they’ll come take him away
Authors note: This was done as an exercise, we were given certain words (a wordle )
and it was the writers choice what form to put them in and how to use them.
There once was a garden in Thomaston
But all the hidden flaws show now in sun
Bombarded by winter cold
Delicate Easter dress bold
Became frozen, tattered, falling undone
Now that lovely garden in Thomaston
Back in early spring's golden rays of sun
Rose blooms, tulips open tips
Flawless are flowers no thrips
Remember Rose Trellis_ love's embrace spun
There once was a girl from Manila,
who wanted her chest to be bigga,
two papayas she bought,
prayed she wouldn't get caught,
but one sagged as she walked to her fella
** Jan 16. 2011
!!not me!! not me!!! >.< hahahahah
--thank you Andrea for the tip on the count :D
for Debbie's There was once a man from Dunkirk contest :)
A Good Day
Dr. James E. Martin
The day is going to be good.
This thought is well understood.
No need for worry
Nor running from things furry
That monster is made out of wood.
Last night as I lay in my bed
An angel appeared and said
Your life will soon end
I am sent as a friend
To a new kingdom soon you will be led
Say goodbye to all those you hold dear
Tell all they must not shed a tear
For your passing will be
Liberating and free
With my lead you will not have fear
In life you have suffered too much
Soon you will walk without need of a crutch
In the kingdom to come
You won’t limp you will run
With the help of the lords gentle touch
So I wait for the day to draw nigh
Though I know lots of people will cry
With happiness in my heart
I will gladly depart
Heavens waiting there for me to try
The angel at last has drawn near
He offers a new life so clear
With a silent prayer
I climb the golden stair
Halleluiah the angels all cheer
Men measure life by the number of beers
Women measure life by the flow of tears
It is when the dad farts
His wife moans in her heart
Because her own children laugh and cheer
Edward J Ebbs - October 11, 2011
Sheets tightly tucked
One pillow crumpled
There once was a gal named Linda
Oh the marriages she did get inta
Try as they would to be as they should
They never could even begin ta.
Wanting a home intensely evolved into creations of delusion
Life broke through, one let go, in freedom lay the solution
For the Divorce Club Contest
The ball was loose and bouncing
Joe dove towards it, just missing
The clock ticking down
Just then, Joe had found
His football skills were lacking
My Lawyer said I was his friend
He said "lean toward the floor and bend"
O'boy was I dumb
He inserted his thumb
and our friendship quickly came to an end
I will not be dismissed as a dunce,
lumped together by Gallup or Luntz.
I will get out and vote
without need to emote
and defy every pollster for once.