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Limerick Health Poems | Limerick Poems About Health

These Limerick Health poems are examples of Limerick poems about Health. These are the best examples of Limerick Health poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!


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Slams Destroyed Her Head

Slams Destroyed Her Head

She was slammed by slam poetry, boo hoo!
Some folks wondered about the hullabaloo.
When bombarded with dread,
Sad thoughts destroyed her head.
Now, she thinks she’s a blithering cuckoo!

© July 17, 2010
Dane Smith-Johnsen


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Slow Golf

Golfers ahead were really slow
because their dead balls just wouldn't go
     we offered them beer,
     later we found cheer--
 they stepped aside to let it outflow.


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Honey Bun

There was once a man from Thomaston
He called his wife honey bun
His knee joint went out
In pain he did shout
Viagra's  no longer number one


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Voldemort, by contrast, was vanquished easily

Changed climate is not a surprise
With drilling for gas on the rise
Where can life forms hide
From carbon dioxide
And methane let loose in the skies?

Neo-druids auger gas wells
And add fluids with sulfurous smells! 
Are poisons they've tapped
With their magic wands trapped
Evermore by sorcerous spells? 

Votes and news seem not relevant
The unrelenting elephant
In all our best rooms
Is fossil fuel's fumes
And toxins we can't circumvent 




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My Germ Filled Limerick

My nose is redder than red
The flu has put me in bed
I sniffle and drip
I can’t get a grip
For there’s pure lead in my head

Coughed up a poem or two
That might not make sense to you
The germs and the phlegm
Have covered this gem
Clean it, for it is…true blue!

It’s been a miserable day
Been grumpy all the way
But for this great SOUP
You guys are the scoup
Much better than meds…. I’ll say!

Eileen Manassian Ghali


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Sea Sick


I wanted to go fishing in the ocean
Forgot the result of constant motion
You wouldn't believe
How much I heaved
Would give gold for a nausea potion


For the "Fishing" contest.


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Glasses On The Shelf

There was a man from Thomaston Of real good vision he had none Glasses weren't any help They sat upon the shelf From his surgery he's left stunned
My husband has had cataract surgery this week.. He says that he can't see any better out of the eye upon which he had surgery.


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Brown Bag Lunch

A patient came out of the patient's room
Into the doctor's office lobby zoom
A brown paper bag
Held in his hand sag
Declared, "I'll share my lunch" with loud boom  

My husband with humorous thought said
They go good with salad and no bread
The patient then spoke
Croutons atop bloke
Laughter and  twinkle between unsaid 

At least he had a sense of humor..
When they weighted me I came
back out and told my husband
I just found out that I am way too
short..


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Bugged by the Bug

Cough medicine? (CRAP...No re-fill!)
See a doctor? (DARNED if I will!)
I'm achin' to the toes
(Got a code in my doze)
Where the HECK did I hide the Ny-Quil?


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There Once Was A Young Boy Called Tim

There once was a young boy called Tim,
Who decided the Mersey to swim,
Got in to his knees,
But started to freeze,
So decided it wasn't for him!


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The Sugar Shack Is Closing

I adore sweets and that's just pathetic
cos' for ten years I've been diabetic.
When that pie rolls around 
or the muffins are crowned
my desire for them grows quite kinetic.

There are wrappers hidden under the bed
and there's leftover banana bread.
Every year I vow
to stop eating somehow.
If I keep this up I could be dead!

So I'll ring out the old-start anew.
I can do it if I think it through.
Throw the sugar away
and start over today.
Eating rabbit food's what I'll now do!


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Golf's My Favorite

Of all the sports, watching Baseball's the best

I've less interest, but watch some of the rest

        But I'm pleased to report

        Golf's my favorite sport

It's healthy, fun, and a challenging test.


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Losing weight

Solving the weight problem

Most folk say they can’t lose weight
But me I well might this debate
Eat much less 
Walk much more
Then most will lose the weight for sure.


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The astonishing disappearing act

Proctologists need to write when 
A prescription's called for big ben 
But a doctor equipped
With thermometer quipped
An asshole's walked off with my pen


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Pickle-itis



Mr Moody yearned for a big pickle His taste buds he needed to tickle He ate twenty four Then fell on the floor Digestion can be oh so fickle


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Upset Tummy


When her gastrointestinal tract 
went gurglly and angrily talked back;   
lamented my Maria, 
"This damn diarrhea 
with me flat on my back so lacks tact."


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Fast Food Fat Attack

A hamburger with the lot,
Is where all the fat got,
French fries are the same,
Cheeseburgers too pretty lame,
They all make your arteries clot.


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Iths The Cold And Flu Theason

My nothe ith sthopped up and I can't respthire

   My lungths are congeshted and all afire

      My eyeths are rheumy and red

         Perthspiration floods my bed

             Merthy Lord! I think I'm gonna exthpire

       

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Righths Retherved

First Place in Gwendolyn's " The Sneezing Limerick" Contest - January 2012


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Swine-Flu Paranoia

I fear you are spreading a dreadful disease
You cough sounds contagious...I shrink when you sneeze!
I have one small issue
Where the HECK is your tissue?
Don't spray your infection on ME (If you please)


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Stay Well

Health plans are many, take your pick
You'll need one when you get sick
give longevity a chance
cheat death of circumstance
and give your heart more time to tick.


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Memorial Halloween

Halloween excitement going out night
City Parks Department hosting fright
Costumes, games, clowns, prizes, fun
Chance to eat at least a ton
Fun and games over lights way too bright

On the way home feeling very faint sick
All that candy and hotdogs did the trick
When get home vomit uncontrolled
Mother my head has to hold
Found out next day measles will have to kick


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Ode to Pepsi



My addiction to Pepsi is a curse It's bad for my body and for my purse Limit is one per day But I have feet of clay I love the stuff..for better or for worse
for the Beverage contest...glug Barbara Gorelick 10/27/11


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Ker-chew

There once was a sneeze named “Ker-chew” His cousin next door was named “Flu” He found "cold" in the hallway, And threw up on the walkway, I do hope he doesn’t find you! ~written for Gwendolyn's challenge~


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Toothache

When your tooth aches, life just is no good.
There's some aches that can't be withstood.
Stubbed toes I can handle
They don't hold a candle
To the pain that doth test my manhood.

The unmistakable look on my face
Like I swallowed the whole can of mace
And I can't be for certain
Exactly which tooth is hurtin'
Please pull them ALL out, just in case.

Dental hygiene is good and deserves
All the praise for the teeth it preserves.
But when it starts to slip,
Pass the Polident Dentu-Grip.
The great thing about dentures...no nerves!


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Loveland

Two lovers with a second chance
At life enriched with sweet romance,
Repeat their wedding vows
In manner God allows,
With tasteful, simple elegance.

Loved ones and good friends gather near
Sharing in the joy and cheer.
Italian day is fair,
Blessing the happy pair,
Predicting future bright and clear.

May their good fortune never wane,
And sunshine over-power the rain.
Their love will be their wealth
In sickness and in health.
May their deep love always remain.

By: Joyce Johnson

For Linda-Marie's Loveland Limerick contest  won a 5th in this
from photo j 17 6858



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I'm Cuckoo For Coco Puffs

<                      once was an  cuckoo bird named Sonny
                         tagging along gramps as first  gunny
                               shooting up cereal bowls
                     with dark puffs @@@ nice ~ and ~ slow
                            Oh how trix rabbit did so runny  






Entry For Poets Destroyer 's
Your Favorite Cereal Limerick
GL All                                  


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Cola Slurpees for the Soul

A bad day at the 7-11
The cola slurpee's not working again!
I don't want cherry,
Grape, or strawberry - 
Only cola gives me that peace-like zen!


10/30/11


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The Total Disjoint

With a plastic and stainless steel joint
Which was his very authentic point
A Viagra pill, he!
The erection up_glee
Then a plastic and stainless disjoint


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Migraine

There's a little green man in my head,
With a hammer that's made out of lead,
He bangs day and night,
Just so that he might,
Make sure all my brain cells are dead!