Mrs. Cat, I'm bringing back your kitten
I'm completely done with baby sittin'
She cried all day
Not worth the pay
And , so sorry, we couldn't find her mitten
For the "Tell Me About It " contest
Copyright © Barbara Gorelick | Year Posted 2011
A NEW BUNDLE OF JOY JUST ARRIVED
MOMMY AND DAD ARE BOTH BEAMING WITH PRIDE
INSTEAD OF A PRINCESS, PINK,
A LITTLE LAD SMILED WITH A WINK
THINK THE ULTRASOUND MESSED UP AND LIED.
RON AND I ARE SO HAPPY TO BE
GRANDPARENTS AGAIN TO SPOIL WITH GLEE
7 POUNDS, 7 OUNCES
22 INCHES HE BOUNCES
TIME TO EXCHANGE PINK THINGS FOR BLUE SHOPPING SPREE.
* A GRAND DAY FOR OUR FAMILY SOUPERS.
*PLEASE SHARE OUR HAPPY MOMENT WITH THIS NEW BABY BOY.
*BORN 11:22 A.M. EST ON SAT., SEPT.22ND .. ERIC CHRISTIAN...
*WE FEEL AND ARE SO BLESSED LUV ...
Copyright © Linda-Marie SweetHeart | Year Posted 2012
I cuddle with my little baby brother
so special he's like no other
a unique gift from above
a true endless love
"a bundle of pure joy" says mother
I'll protect him with my own soul
as along life's path we stroll
he need never feel fear
or in pain shed a tear
for in me he can always console
Contest ~ "Brotherly Love"
Poet ~ Rick Parise
April 22, 2011
Copyright © Rick Parise | Year Posted 2011
There once was a man who ate nothing but prunes
He was broke and howled at the moon
He was desperate for work
And got some soon
Blowing up air ballons.
There was a man from pakistan
Who owned an old ice cream van
But the ice cream melted in the sun
And now he sells burgers in a bun.
There was an elephant called peek a boo
Who escaped from a zoo
It didn't take long to trace him
Just am hour or two
They just followed a trail of giant poo.
There was a hedgehog who married a frog
They tried to mate but it hurt too much and fell of the log
So the hedgehog took off his pricly coat
And now they have seven little hedgefrogs
That live on a boat.
There was a bear who loved Fred Astaire
Who danced here and danced there
He stole clothes from a washing line
He looked a treat in ladies pink panties and tutu
Hey bear give them back there mine!.
Peter Dome. copyright.2014. Sept.
Copyright © Peter Dome | Year Posted 2014
Cotton Candy is a pumpkin who
Is known as White Pepo too.
Her nice rounded shell
She keeps very well,
And one day she met Baby Boo.
Baby Boo is quite small, and at night
He might glow, an albino pure white.
He is both good looking
And good at cooking!
He and white Pepo make a rare sight.
Cotton Candy (White Pepo) and he
Got together, and baby made three.
With skin color cream,
The baby’s a dream
And he’s part of the Ghost family.
Like his Mom, maybe better, is he.
Ghost can keep for a long time and be
Just like his Dad too.
Like that small Baby Boo,
In the oven he can bake sweetly.
Another White pumpkin, meanwhile,
In Carol’s patch sat on a pile.
Smooth, round and pure white,
An adorable sight,
Is this pumpkin with decorative style.
Other pumpkins can read this and weep
For Halloween has a new peep!
For MINE, cute and small,
Has the name of Snowball
And clear up to Christmas can keep!
For Carol Brown's
"What No Orange Pumpkin" Poetry Contest
Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2011
Hiding in mummy's tummy, kicking happily away
I'm kissing you warmly, clapping and singing in play
They say in a few weeks
I'll be able to kiss your new cheeks
I can't wait for the morning I'll lift you in a sway
Copyright © Nyonglema Pisoh | Year Posted 2014
Since the time I was wearing a bib,
I was wise to the guys. That’s no fib!
“Hey, Baby,” I’d say,
“Come on over and play.
You just meet me tonight in my crib!”
And while most kids were learning to poo,
I was thinking up poems by age two.
I could coo a sweet verse
With no need to rehearse
Saying things like, “I’m gaga for you.”
I was writing my lines by age three
And creating sublime poetry.
First boys and then men
I caught with my pen.
LADY Gaga of verse now: that’s me!
For Susan Burch's
Ridiculous Self Exaggerations Poetry Contest
And now for PD's anything Goes!!!
Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2012
On a flight to Auckland one day
A mother over hearing her son say
Cats and Dogs can have babies
Can planes do that maybe
Ask the attendant, see what she says
So off to the attendant he asks
Is it possible that planes do this task
Did your mother tell you
To ask me if it's true
Tell her to tell and not mask
As the little boy was walking away
Following him the attendant did say
No baby planes you will find
Qantas pulls out on time
Ask mum to explain this today
Written about a Joke I heard ;-)
Copyright © James Fraser | Year Posted 2014
Got referred to a female Urologist
After which I needed a Psychologist
"I'm a licensed physician
Please resume your position!"
Next appointment: Her sister Proctologist
Copyright © Tim Ryerson | Year Posted 2012
Little baby dont cry you will be sung a lullaby
little baby dont worry forever in my dreams i hold you
little baby dont be afraid for the angels will lead the way
little baby dont be shy for together you will reach the sky
little baby just be calm for they will never harm
little baby sleep peacefully for you will always have my heart
little baby the angels will protect you
little baby i will never forget you...
Copyright © kerry singleton | Year Posted 2012
‘Damn Liar’! said Hillary to Bill
You told me ‘that girl’ was on the pill
Now she’s got a tum
As big as they come
You're the daddy, now ain’t that a thrill!
22nd May 2015
Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2015
There once was a dream in my sleep
I was out in the fields with my sheep
I wanted to pee
Let it out with glee
I woke up with in a puddle in my keep.
Copyright © Nitesh Aggarwal | Year Posted 2007
Dr. James E. Martin
A mother-to-be was she.
She was happy as she could be.
A new baby boy,
Would bring her much joy,
If only she weren’t seventy three.
Copyright © DrJim Martin | Year Posted 2013
Limerick : Once a Baby found in a bucket
Once a Baby found in a bucket
Grew up to be tough as a biscuit
She took a desert trip
Sahara took a flip
(Some people take her/me for a nitwit)
That’s why biscuits taste sandy when bit.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Copyright © T Wignesan | Year Posted 2013
A baby that screams on a plane,
Whether tired, unfed or in pain,
Must be calmed at all costs
For when patience exhausts
All the passengers will go insane.
Copyright © ilene bauer | Year Posted 2015
w can if we stand
be a wall
that don't fall
nuthin you and i can't do
we love each other too
so let go on forever
BABY LETS BUILD TO GETHER
Copyright © kurtis scott aka curtis futch jr | Year Posted 2013
Youngin Greg found an egg
Struck it with his mummy's peg,
Only taking one baby stroke
Out came the gooey yolk
Running down his leg.
Copyright © john williams | Year Posted 2015
In his cage in a rage- Baby Harry
and those visit his realm best be wary.
A smart cockatoo
who screams out: " #*@# you!"
What his master might say could be scary.
My Theme is : Birds singing.
But I hope that birds talking is okay.
However, as I write this,
Baby Harry is talking, but not in a socially acceptable way...
Copyright © Gerard Keogh Jr. | Year Posted 2010
As this poem was being written,
A small boy appeared to be smitten.
He loved his baby brother,
But then he asked his mother,
‘Please can we swap him for a kitten?’
24th April 2011
Copyright © jack horne | Year Posted 2011
series 5/5/3/3/5 Limerick
On precept Palin
Concepts are wailing
Love is truth
Amidst the wailing
Her ship keeps sailing
She’s no goof
Beliefs are sailing
Her precept is right
May need to try it
She abodes in light!!
At least she confesses tunnel’s light!!
Copyright © john freeman | Year Posted 2011
my wallet’s tounge getting longer and longer
credit cards’promos pumping stronger
flat tv, i-pad, santa trimmings at low cost
really now, my unpaid dues on zero defrost
egad, i’ll be jailed being a triple goner
the dark side tempts me—a real shopaholic
will win the lotto and forget being catastrophic
can’t wait to blow left-over greens
christmas ads ringing pied piper dreams
buy, buy, buy utterly catatonic
dashing like a mad woman i daringly arrive
snooping at branded goodies my eyes crazed overdrive
surprised by a chipped baby- on-a- manger sale
reminding me my sweet spirit has gone pale
went to bed tucking christ babe, so glad i’m richly alive!
(for PD's HOLIDAY POEM contest)
Copyright © nette onclaud | Year Posted 2010
I wait for my Valentine baby
He said he would come here to save me
Just give me some bling
Not any old thing
My answer could well be a maybe!
Copyright © Sharon Ruebel | Year Posted 2011
tho we're far apart
your in my heart
this is how love start
when am blue
your on my mind too
BABY I CAN FEEL YOU
Copyright © kurtis scott aka curtis futch jr | Year Posted 2013
If I had a shiny new nickel
I'd buy me another dill pickle
My wife thinks she knocked me up
Made me go pee in a cup
But pickle juice came out in a trickle
Copyright © Larry Belt | Year Posted 2010
NOSE WOES - limerick
My nose told me it couldn’t get riper
as I opened and peeked in the diaper
one last gasping breath
succumbing to death
single shot from intestinal sniper
John G. Lawless
Copyright © John lawless | Year Posted 2015
Hey Son, I wrote this to warn you
In your whole life, many girls are coming through
You might have only girl to love her much over
But you have to remember that do not hurt your mother
She is my only girl too...
Copyright © Panya Chanthavong | Year Posted 2016
The vicar surveyed her wide girth
Was scared that in church she’d give birth
He raised his eyebrows
Then rushed through their vows
As he wasn’t adept at childbirth!
Inspired by the poem ‘Decision Needed’ by Maurice Rigoler
13TH April 2016
Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016
There once was a dog born in July
With three brothers and a sister, oh my!
In five months he was taken to the pound
And there by a family with a baby was found.
Home they went, but within a month did know
That jealous of the baby the dog did grow.
So, back to the pound he was taken
But the little dog did not feel forsaken.
All his friends were waiting there
Oh my, he didn't have a care!
Brave and bored in a cage he sat
Staring across the room at a large yellow cat.
One day anoher two-legged being came by
To stare, and smile, and say with a cry:
"Look at that face ... what a face!
Oh my, I want to take him home to my place!"
"What's his name?" she asked the clerk with a sigh.
"His name is Logan", the clerk did reply.
Logan? Logan is a strange name to be,
He doesn't look like a Logan that I can see.
But he's certainly masculine, oh my
What a barrel chest and little head held high!
Such a face so strong and wise,
With those big limpid brown eyes.
He looks for all the world to see
Well ... he looks like a, like a Mister to me!
So Mister the Dog found a home
Leaving his friends at the pound all alone.
Copyright © Sue Mason | Year Posted 2007
A promiscuous lady named Jill
Thought it prudent to go on the pill
She saw her G.P
He said ‘oh dear me’ -
You should have used a condom with Will!
Jill politely asked him what he meant
Contraception was her real intent
The pill’s too late I fear
For you’re pregnant my dear -
It looks like it’s an unplanned event
21ST April 2016
Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016
Merry blue dressed Bob, the builder,
Please return my reddish toy rooster,
I’ll give you my toy elephant,
A bubbly grey buoyant infant,
He is a long nosy mister.
Copyright © Rizwana Bhurani | Year Posted 2015