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Limerick Angst Poems | Limerick Poems About Angst

These Limerick Angst poems are examples of Limerick poems about Angst. These are the best examples of Limerick Angst poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Limerick | |

Princess Needs A New Car

Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '

'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust! 
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.

'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much, 
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'! 

Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.


Details | Limerick | |

Taxed to the Hilt

My hero is Henry David Thoreau
Rather than pay taxes, to jail he’d go
     With Uncle Sam’s hand out
     Thoreau turned up his snout
Refused the poll tax, voting he’d forego

An elderly woman across the street
High property taxes she could not meet
     Her house went to foreclosure
     Homeless, died of exposure
While the politicians live on High Street

Jonah dwelt in the belly of a whale
No taxes on such a home did prevail
      But as soon as he got out
     Jonah faced taxes no doubt
Moby Dick's "inner condo" is for sale



Entry for the Taxing Times contest


Details | Limerick | |

A Life Game: Greed

What will their eternity win?
Greed, as a vice makes some men grin.
Money is their God.
Poor folks bear guffawed.
Then games bring a different kingpin!

© June 1, 2011
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen


Details | Limerick | |

Barky Von Schnauzer

At the risk of being called “rabble-rouser,”
I think poor old Barky Von Schnauzer,
should practice his aim,
his master to maim,
in the back end of his very best trousers!


My hero I would call dear old Barky,
if he could just muster the stealth of a sharky,
and covertly steer,
right straight for the rear,
of that great big old bag of malarkey!



I think I should send Barky a big four leaf clover,
so his bad luck would finally be over,
he could retire his fame,
move away, change his name,
to Bowser maybe Lassie or Rover!


Obviously I have been driven completely insane by that stupid t.v. commercial!
Happy St. Paddy's Day!


Details | Limerick | |

A Letter From The IRS

You have disregarded instructions
Thus claiming improper deductions
Send money by mail
And IF you should fail
Your paycheck will suffer reductions...


“The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax” - Albert Einstein
Submitted for: John Freeman’s contest


Details | Limerick | |

Holy Follicle!!

Oh, I am so angered, outraged and appalled
I think that I’m going bald
My dad had great hair
So I never really cared
But, to the hair club for men I am called

From my butt, they could extract some hair
Because I think I have so much to spare
But I cannot tell
Do you think it would smell?
Oh well I think, I’ll just leave it there


Details | Limerick | |

Cheaper To Keep Her (Divorce Club)

(Haiku)- * Motive, infidelity messing with the Queen Bee's Honey*

Queen Bee sits on throne,
Bumble and drone bees as one
Sample flowers dew

------------------------

(Limerick) - *Admission of guilt leads to compensation*

Indeed this is how the story unfolds,
Pete said, "It's a poor rat with only one hole"...
Love had taught a sad lesson;
Divorce court was now in session,
Judge rules favor, Pete's pockets full of holes...

----------------------------

(Couplet) - *Take vows seriously payback often belongs to Spouse - Queen Bee*

Love said, "Pete too late you've opened your peepers"....
"Man, you should know it was cheaper to please her"!






Submitted for P.D.'s Divorce Club Contest (Haiku-Limerick-Couplet)


Details | Limerick | |

Main-Stream Media Have-A-Heart Trap

Each day foul critters infest our house
Though not by slipping in like a mouse
We just press a button
Or buy a subscription
To get news wrote or spoke by a louse

These creatures of the two legged kind
Try hard each day to persuade our mind
With sly information
That helps the causation
Of the falling apart of mankind

They tout the need for unearned welfare
Claim hard earned profits are so unfair
And granting amnesty
Is a good policy
Plus growing our debt is fine they swear

For those who work hard earning their way
Give what they can and put some away
Are sick of the slackers
Prodded by the backers
Whose aim is using half truths to sway

It’s hard to ignore those talking heads
But it’s not right to tear them to shreds
Yet there’s a solution
And with execution
We can spread liberty in their stead

We’ll put Obama pic’s and golf caps
Along with a taped speech that he yapped
In a human sized crate
Coz it’s time to create
A main stream media Have-A-Heart trap

Like it or not, these traps are humane
But anyways, we’ll have much to gain
So, once we have caught
All those who have brought
Disinformation causing brain drain

We’ll squeeze all of them in through a pipe
Along with politicians who hype
Irrationality
And immorality
Into a sphere of the livable type

In there they can tax to the extreme
And promote their harmful fairness schemes
But when they’re out of dough
They will lip read our NO!
Since their bubble is a sound proof dream!


Details | Limerick | |

Twin Brothers

Freddy and Teddy are exactamundo twin brothers.
They are nowhere near as funny as the Smothers.
They take their crass gross comedy act on the road.
All of those in the audience would rather be using the commode.
Most would prefer to have their throats slit if they had their druthers.


Details | Limerick | |

The Good the Bad and the Ugly Divorce

Let Him Go (Limerick)

Our mom told us how she chose her beau,
With an “eeny, meeny, miny, moe!”
Of course it didn’t last,
With a choice so half-assed!
But at least it taught the fool to grow!


Child Support (Haiku)

Parental disputes
Had placed us in the middle
Of their divorce wars


Divorce (Couplet)

He left her to fend for us alone, blasé with his remiss,
She chose to break this conjugal bond without marital bliss.


For (Destroyer ((Poet’s ~DIVORCE CLUB~ Contest


Details | Limerick | |

Nosy Neighbor Nuisance

She's "concerned" that my mess is immense
"I work late." Is my latest defense
Yes, my yard is a wreck
But IF you must peck
Your big NOSE might get stuck in my fence

So you KNOCKED my troublesome trooper?
Tell ya what you prim party-pooper
I will warn you once more
Poke your head through MY door?
I'll slam it right square on your snooper


Details | Limerick | |

three seconds left

 First he slinks off the field with a miss,
 so forlorn, then the chance to do this.
 Will we boo him to shame?
 Will we drink to his name?
 The ball is down. The kick is up! The kick is...


Details | Limerick | |

From The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand - E PLURIBUM ANUS



RIPAE BENI DEAU VER

In modus fasciculumque Brady pus.
Rogationes, confractum egemus.
Minara excommunica
Ripa nostra, sus amica,
Sic superbum precum, pape beatus.



Story:
http://www.sloveniatimes.com/president-to-attend-pope-francis-s-installation-mass#komentarji


The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand moves in mysterious ways. Just ignore him. 


www.jesus.si


Details | Limerick | |

A Trip to the Dentist

I went to the dentist today,
And the fee that I had to pay,
For one little tooth,
Was highly uncouth.
It's highway robbery, I say!

7/18/13


Details | Limerick | |

Throwaway Child

Nikki was an illegitimate child.
She grew up fast, she grew up wild.
She ran away from home at age sixteen.
A pimp killed her when she turned eighteen.
This is a cautionary tale of a throwaway child.


Details | Limerick | |

Maniac Jack

Fatty Jack
Is a maniac.
He ate a turd
From a sick bird.
That’s a sad fact.


Details | Limerick | |

Just Desserts

Thaddeus Dowdell was a right proper chap,
Who said pip pip, tally ho and the rest of that crap.
He married a young lady just as arrogant as he,
She looked down her nose at rabble such as we.
Thankfully, both were hacked to death by a crazy ninja Jap.


Details | Limerick | |

Big Fat Lies

I always was a fool for you
Eating your lies with a silver spoon
Now I’m on a diet
But you still try it
Gagging me with a new ruse


Details | Limerick | |

Overt Sensitivity

Dear Sweet Ramona is real easy on men’s eyes.
Even the slightest hint of sadness brings tears to her eyes.
She became a nurse and went to help out in Afghanistan.
The depths of depravity there she just could not understand.
Now permanent tears of sadness flow continuously from her eyes.


Details | Limerick | |

That's A Nice Living.

They assure you when they take your case
they will put your world right back in place.
So you shoulder the cost,
then they tell you: "We lost."
with such touching dismay on their face.


Details | Limerick | |

Oh Well

Bill stared at a cute butt going by.
Wishing he were much bolder, he sighed,
"I would give all my pay
To roll that in the hay."
But looked up to see 'she' was a guy.


Details | Limerick | |

Poor Choices

There once was a prison for boys.
To some, guns were not only toys.
They had too much fun
Life lived on the run.
Confinement has very few joys.

Teachers taught; helped some of them learn.
Disturbance sometimes took a turn.
“Teach” treated them right.
Boys “partied” at night.
In the classroom stomachs did churn.

An offender has feelings, too.
Not just an animal at the zoo.
But crime has a cost.
One's freedom is lost.
There's no more McDonald's, for you!

Fast food was not their only loss.
Prison guards were mixed in the sauce.
Obey what they say.
Or suffer their way.
Survival or cry; it's a toss!

Exercising in the hot sun.
It's what they must do to have fun.
With sweat pouring down,
Some cuss and some frown.
Poor choices, have this privilege won!

© May 30, 2011
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest:  BEHIND BARS BLUES 	 
Sponsored by: Miranda Lambert


Details | Limerick | |

Act of cruelty

Act of cruelty

I believe that an act of cruelty
Is to take away child’s security
So let it be said
When two people wed
Make sure it’s a certain surety.

18 April 2014 @ 0815hrs


Details | Limerick | |

Bad vacation

Bad Vacation

I took a vacation to Broome
And rented a nice little room
I tripped on a stone
And broke a leg bone
And this it did fill me with gloom

I borrowed some crutches, did I
But let out a terrible cry
A crutch it did break
I fell on a snake
I thought I was going to die

As I laid in a bed looking sad
The bed broke and I was hurt bad
My two hips were broke
And it was no joke
The shrink he proclaimed me quite mad.

12 July 2014 @ 1351hrs.

Written for Carolyn's 'Vacation humour' contest.


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The young man from Dover

There was a young man lived in Dover
And he was the son of a rover
He fell into the sea
Cause clumsy was he
A shark came and it was all over.


Details | Limerick | |

The Raghead Nazi Limerick

Raghead Nazis are really not all that bad.
They treat womenfolk like worthless crap and that is very sad.
They like to stick dynamite up their own asses
In order to blow up kindergarten classes.
Then again, maybe the dirty stinking rats are indeed all that bad.


Details | Limerick | |

Brown Bag Flu

I made myself sick with the brown bag flu,

     From drinking too much of that “Mountain Dew”;

          So here’s what I say,

          NO drinking today;

                I pray this never happens to you!


Details | Limerick | |

Attorneys and Online Games

Was at a hearing with my attorney
She was more childish than Bert and Ernie
     Played I-Pod video games
     My anger sure was in flames
Years had passed since I began this journey

But my sexual harassment lawsuit
Totally ignored by this pompous coot
     Ordering shoes online
     Forgetting this case of mine
It was clear she just didn’t give a hoot

My suit’s outcome would have been much better
If I had hired an Irish Setter
     Her actions were criminal
     My settlement minimal
In my next novel I’ll surely get her

She had predicted I would get much more
My dignity she never did restore
     As she won her online game
     My harasser escaped blame
Lawyers and video games I abhor



*Based on a true experience!
Entry for Natalie’s “Cell Phones in the Sauna – What Annoys You” contest
     


Details | Limerick | |

Easter Hijinks

While I was out watching the children hunt for Easter eggs,
The neighbor’s dadgum dog kept trying to hump my leg.
A nasty stray alley cat killed the doggone Easter bunny.
For some strange reason the kids thought that was funny.
Then my good wife brought me an ice cold beer straight from the keg. 


Details | Limerick | |

A Ghoulish Meal

It is kind of ghoulish, kind of funky,
To cook and eat a darn monkey.
It is not half bad if you like goat meat.
I would suggest you try the legs and forego the feet.
You can’t call it lean meat because it’s somewhat chunky.