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Humorous Life Poems | Life Poems About Humorous

These Humorous Life poems are examples of Life poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Humorous Life poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Dodoitsu |

Maybe You'll Laugh

NEED

I need you like I need air
Close my eyes, your face I see
An unexplained obsession
Infatuation

__________________________________

GET ON LINE

Long distance relationships
Test the limits of the mind
When bodies can't touch in person
Thank God for web cams

________________________________

SHOOT IT

An arrow to the bullseye
A basketball to the hoop
Whichever game you're playing
Give it your best shot
________________________________


PERFECT

I jiggle when I wiggle
I got some bounce to my ounce
Having sex is not sexy
Porn is deceiving

______________________________

THREESOME

If I could have some ice cream
With a piece of chocolate cake
Cover it with caramel
The perfect threesome.

__________________________________________

09-08-2014


Details | Free verse |

The Elephant in the Room

3 polished oak fans,
Swirling in robotic unison

High maintenance socialites,
Sipping on Merlot fallacies

Lemon yellow coated walls,
Flat,
Like their smiles

Comparisons of dangling Porsche & Bentley keys
A glorified day care center,
Pacifiers included

The muted virtuosos speak softly in hymn dialects.

Courtesy laughter in snob’s octave

Their heads twitching side to side,
Left to right to left

An equilibrium facing assault charges against self

They slow dance to cello dreams
And E minor dividends

Two-step monotone, sway
Against platinum lacquer foundations

…

But, it was then.

These same socialites,
Made of recycled candle wax
And rubberized, hedge-fund confidence,
Began to stare longingly at the party host’s 70 inch plasma TV

Proudly imported from China

“Attention uptight snobs of Mecca!
The city zoo has imploded!
The monkeys revolted!
The zebras were tired of being racially profiled!
Run for your LIV…!”
(SMASH!)

And before the reporter’s frightened inner child could finish’s his clause,
An elephant crashes into the decadent room
Filled with Crisp linen scents of Febreze & judgmental fear

It stares at the socialites,
Laughing heartedly as it playfully stomps away into constellation’s onyx night

As tears waterfall from the snobs’ sobbing eye sockets
As if they just listened to another Celine Dion song

The real newsflash

Metaphors played hooky today

©Drake J. Eszes


Details | Light Poetry |

James Bond the Poet

Double oh Sevens
The gamble of dangerous men
Poets who carry guns
To shoot out the hearts
Of unsuspecting ladies
A single word, a bullet
That can wound or kill the love
Of any careless romance
Yet they fall at the feet
Of mystery and sweet words
And later in the evening
Tears flow from ladies of sadness
Left alone among the sheets of love
The Spy, he could save the world
Yet save not one single love
He grew old and alone
His last thought among the living
I die a lover, and never felt love


Details | Rhyme |

THE AGING PROCESS

Many years ago, when we were all young,
We really thought life, would be so much fun.
While playing dress-up, trying on mom’s stuff,
Putting on make-up, we found to be tough.

Then came our schooling, and boy things would change,
“Those aren’t our parents”, when they acted strange.
Sometimes they were hip, but old-fashioned too,
That’s something I swore, I would never do.

Wishing you were older, adults had it made,
They would do nothing, yet still would be paid.
That is how little, we all had known,
We surely found out, once we were grown.

Loving the twenties, we’d go out with friends,
When we went shopping, we followed the trends.
Doing what we wanted, and staying out late,
It didn’t matter, what time we all ate.

Then came the thirties, and most of us wed,
Watch what you wish for, my parents had said.
We had to work hard, many bills to pay,
I guess they were right, what more can I say?

Raising your children, was hardest of all,
Needing some advice, your parent’s you’d call.
It seemed so easy, they needed no rest,
So now it’s your turn, you learned from the best.

The forties arrived, that was a shocker,
We’d spend lots of time, just at the doctor.
Back aches and headaches, so tired you’d be,
Trying not to cough, or else you would pee.

The fifties would come, and your grandkids too,
Where were your glasses? You hadn’t a clue.
You searched here and there, and under the bed,
“Hey grandma” they laughed, “They’re right on your head”.

Here come the sixties, now let’s have some fun,
You are retired; your work is all done.
To dinner with friends, you dressed and you wait,
They never show up, you have the wrong date.

Now the seventies, with friends playing games,
If only you could, remember their names.
You try hard to hide, those under-eye bags,
Gravity happens, and everything sags.

Enjoy every day, and have a good laugh,
All the steps you took, led down a new path.
Live life as it comes, each year a new page,
One thing is for sure, everyone will age.


Details | Free verse |

Elvira And The Pillow

A true story....


Well I lived in Sioux City for a little while
Another job site, hubby and I have covered some miles

While there, my mother in law came to visit
She drove Elvira, the biggest Buick ever made
No doubt about it!

I drove mom around to see the highlights
If you've been there, you know there's nothing but corn in sight

Suddenly the cars in front of us started to slow
Wondering which way around this pillow they needed to go

Well some went left and some went right
Some straddled over it and seemed alright

Mom said baby, it will be OK
Just drive right over it
Elvira won't notice anything in her way

I lined up perfectly and over we went
Thought I'd made it until visions were sent
Into the rear view mirror of down floating everywhere
And it wasn't pleasant!

I could see people on the sidewalks laughing, I pretended not to care
As millions of feathers floated through the air

Really embarrassed I drove on about one hundred feet
Then Elvira stopped dead right there in the street

Somehow the drive train had caught the cotton cover
Ripping it to shreds, wrapping it round and round so tight
Until it killed the engine dead

Now I know God works in mysterious ways
But He proved it for sure this very day

In a parking lot next to where Elvira had died
Was a complete race car driver's pit crew - no lie!

An 18 wheeler with trailer in tow
Guys dressed in uniforms, patches aglow 

With traffic backing up behind us
They came over to see what was all the fuss

I said spitting feathers out of my mouth
I really don't know, I'm from down south

They opened their trailer and out came the jacks
Air hoses and tools, they got down on their backs

From under the car I heard laughter and jokes
They'd seen cars stopped by everything but a pillow!

Well I thanked them and shook each and every hand
They wouldn't accept money, said the entertainment was grand
I often wonder who they were and if they remember Elvira and the pillow in Iowa land....

©Donna Jones


Details | Light Poetry |

Limes, Lemons, Cherries

Have you ever squeezed a lemon before?
(you very might well have and just not realized it).
Each time you grab the steering wheel, you feel determined:
There's no way in hell you're waiting another minute!

A lemon is sure a close call,
and anyone's capable of it - every Tom, Dick and Harry.
Sometimes you don't see it at all,
until you look up and realize it's already turned cherry.

It's a rarer site to see someone squeezing that one,
but there's no doubt it happens now and then.
Some call it stupid, others brave and daring.
Me? I just wanna get out of the car and grab a pen.

Squeezing a lime sounds much more safe.
Feeling a bit less brave, a small price to pay,
for living another glorious day.
But my dad is a different sort all together.
He goes through the entire fruit smoothie, it's just his way.

There'll be honking from behind,
people yelling, "What are you friggin' color blind?
Get off the Bluetooth, man!".
And I'm just sitting in the front seat thinking,
"I have such great writing material, so close at hand".

I'll have my head crouched low
feigning embarrassment, but in reality
this man, driving me, where I need to go
is the spitting image of myself
forty years down the road...


Details | Haiku |

Haiku 6

golden calligraphy
on frozen paper
my girl kicks it away


Details | I do not know? |

A 'c' change

If you should search for knowledge 
To answer the riddle of your self

All the books found on every library shelf
Might not relieve your puzzle a smidge

Because ‘h’ is the difference of self from shelf
Search within and you’ll see without eyes.

Things happen in a test tube
That we can easily observe and explain

But anywhere outside of it
It’s not quite the same

That’s because it’s out in the open
Where there’s less control and closure.

Some advise taking only two steps 
Once into and once out of water 

Supposedly while you’re watching 
Perpendicular to a flowing stream

So firstly you get your feet wet
And then you get them dry.

Or you take the opposite length
Over the adjacent length

Then every measured distance
Makes each tangent different 

But if trigonometry was used at Pisa
That’s not why the place is famous.

So if a princess was in a tower
And let’s assume she was a prisoner 

At least she should have a window
Because horizons offer a fine view

Then the next time the witch calls her
Rupunzel throws down her chair.


Details | Rhyme |

Fake Words

Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook

God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.

Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.

Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.

Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.


Details | Acrostic |

Cookies

Cookies are addictive!
OoOoH! Here's one to snatch!
Okay...where's the chocolate chips?
Kraving too many of these treats
I want some now! But...I might get beeefy...
Every bite is mouthwatering, soft and crisp
Should I take another cookie?


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