I am the ring around Saturn
spinning words as particles of ice and dust
with the power to transcend
I am the original chosen to be right here right now
transmitting verbal frequencies
through speaking my thoughts into existence
I am the heir of omnipotence,
born with a direct connection to profound abundance
The one whose words will age, yet still have substance;
since there are no boundaries attached to my pen
I am constant energy
Translating personal experience into imagery
Vulnerable to tyranny,
yet i continue attempting to share some truth
through this abstract language of poetry
I am the core
I am that I am more
I am the Divine Presence that is the Source of my rewards
I am the green you get when you mix too much yellow with the blue
That shade of gold you get when the sun resides into darkness
and when it ascends in the dawn burning dew
I am the transition between the third and fourth dimension of time;
the love you feel when you realize how it feels
I am the poem that is abstractly direct
because I write beyond limits
absorbing frequencies from 3 to 8 hertz
through meditation for several minutes
I am the one bridging the gap between
the analog ascension and the direct connection to spirit
The one who is love
because I am a descendent of it
I am the rhythm that the wind blows
I am the beginning and the ending of stories told
about the universe and how miracles unfold
I hold the power to accept judgement from those who will do just that
Not knowing that I am them in the absolute reality of me
I am knowledge beyond measure because that is my right
So I continue meeting the different parts of me
when I meditate and write
Who am I?
I AM, THAT, I AM
Peace to all of the inhabitants within and without the universe
Respect to all existence both stagnant and dynamic
No desire to understand only to observe and appreciate
Those who’ve sought understanding have greatly misunderstood
They intend to change (upgrade) and will inevitably spike altercation
Disrupting and forever corrupting universal equilibrium
Effort to become God the creator and healer of all is the cause of disruption
Persevering disabling efforts to be God with the determination of correction is the cause of infinite corruption – the effect of cyclical disruption
“____ heals all wounds”
No human is able to fix
We are only able to use
An attempt to restore is abuse
“____ heals all wounds”
No longer at desk the typewriter has been given
it's final rest.
As he cant recall the day or year.
The once strong mind is closed the body
but a museum or tribute to what once was.
he his home but locked within himself.
Vist's from thoose who once knew the man
are like people viewing a body at a wake.
he calls from within the shell for for release.
Yet his lips will not move his voice never sounds.
Inside he burns for the chance to run as the river
chases the sea.
To be the man they never knew and the one he
could admire and both despise.
The page sits in typewriter like a willing
eager lover in bed.
Waitting in stockings that cling to delicate thigh.
the tears escapes it's minds prison.
He thirsts for it like a drunk for that morning drink
of whiskey waitting hands held togather trying
to keep from shaking.
He sits as a painter without hand.
watching the most beautiful sunset fade without
a chance of ever capturing this moment.
The ink is drying he feels it everyday.
Soon he hopes like the dust that does gather
he will be swept away.
My heart skips a few beats
before I realize that I’m not breathing.
Am I dying? I ask myself
but there is no response
Is this the end?
I close my eyes
It feels so much like falling
much like suffocating
much like nothing
I don’t know what’s going on around me
all I know is that I just felt a breath leave me
my eyes fly open and see the people around me
My heart must be beating
I don’t know if this is a reality
or if I’m dreaming
All I know is I hear screaming
Then I realize
It’s coming from me
Out of my lungs
Through my mouth
Out into the already intoxicated air
I don’t know if this is a reality
Or if I’m dreaming
I’m losing my mind in a hurry!
Maybe, maybe, losing the mind is letting it find itself
or maybe, i'm just crazy
I keep running with anticipation, with heart open and judgment closed
[I discover most superbly this way]
Foolishly Dropping it, hoping that it’ll pick up something useful
On sidewalks, books, table-top salty discussions,
Sometimes in filth letting it pervade the crevices
And when I tidy it, sometimes
It doesn’t all come out, but I try my best
Ever so often, after a new dish soap and scrubbing gloves
it comes out cleaner then it ever was,
With spicy remains of the crude yet true substances
Chunks fall out where the glue of stability erodes
I know that I am fond of it this way
So I can put them back together
With my own fingers
Organized C H A O S
Instead of the media’s, my peers, my parents, piloting
The pivotal pieces
I let them descend tenderly into location
In my own decimal code
I constitute the regulations here
This belongs to me, my only
It doesn’t matter to me if life doesn’t flow
If it’s jagged or slow, here
I don’t care
If insanity is the real sanity
Or that distinctive is incorrect
This is my society and I shape it as I please
Seeing as it only affects me
As long as my mind is
In flurries of expansion
I don’t really care if it’s lost at all
A fleeting still small voice tries to warn me
A sudden overwhelming desire to run
The tell tale taste of metallic flakes
Means my nightmare has begun
Everything around takes on a ghostly pallor
A landscape of anguish and corrosion
A moment of silence before the violence
The flash of light, the brilliant explosion
The sound of the Sun fills my ears
Fear, my throat, though none escapes me
And paralyzed I clench my eyes
As my tormentor prepares to rape me
And it's endeavor is absolute
Consumption is its ultimate goal
It exists to chase me so it can erase me
Whilst feasting on my soul
And then that familiar salty smell
The sudden rush of warmth so stings
Engaging me relentlessly
In vile unspeakable things
Over and over and over again
My limbs stretched and wrought
As it's teeth tear my bones bare
It's mind defiles my thoughts
And still wounds beget wounds beget wounds
As in the mouth of madness I suffer
And with every injury he just seems to be
Rougher and rougher and rougher
Then just as suddenly as it began it ceases
And for a moment I am clearer
And then the true horror of it all
Is revealed in a darkly lit mirror
There in front of me stands my destroyer
Face flush with it's fill of my pain
And I find that it's eyes and mine
My God, they’re one in the same
How did you feel when you woke? Were you frightened or lonely, or was your heart broke?
Do you feel alone or sometimes afraid? Is it clear that your life’s not meeting the grade?
Do you feel uncomfortable in your own skin? Do you feel that you’re losing, but just want
Are you having remorse about what could have been? If so, then it’s time to grab paper and
Jot some things down you’d like to achieve. Then read them each day and start to believe.
We cannot go back and change the past! Standing still today, just won’t last.
So get ready, prepare, and take care of your needs. It’s time to firmly plant His seeds.
Start with yourself and the rest will follow. I know right now it’s hard to swallow.
Be gentle and patient, for there is no doubt, you’ve been hurting so long, both inside and
If you know in your heart that something’s askew, you must be willing and ready to start anew!
There’s help for you along the way. You’ll receive it for sure, so start to pray.
Dear God, Please show me where to start. To You, I know I must open my heart.
So say each day, “Thy Will Be Done”, and you’ll see it, I’m sure, but just don’t run.
Be open and willing to hear and see, all that He is calling you to be.
Follow His signs and stay on the road, and when you ask He’ll help bear the load.
Don’t bring excess baggage for this trip. Keep it simple, you see or you just might slip.
You need to remember to stay on track. Once you start, hold nothing back.
For the new road you find is the only way. You’ll get there soon, if you just don’t stray.
Now is the time for discipline and prayer. You’ll start to believe you’re in His care.
As you practice and try to do the right things, you’ll be eager to see what the next day
Your life will be flooded with joy and gladness, and you’ll know he’s there in times of
Life is still life, but just stop and think. Nothing is solved by making a stink!
So put all your worries in God’s hands today! There’s no reason to keep them, let go and
I know that miracles do come true. Have faith and His promises will be given to you.
©October 17, 2006
Looking dead at me in this smeared mirror...
a lost man
the longer I stare
this stress abuses
my conscience with a glare
a guilty reflection warns
my mind is the prison I fear
as I long to escape
from the hell I dwell in
who have I become?
what have I done right?
crossroads appear suddenly
as fog fills the mirror tonight
darkness owning the room,
prefers I suffer slow
so I proceed with speed
because it’s the only way I know
flood my life’s hard bound chapters
while this smeared mirror reflects tears
dripping from a face
which was once filled with laughter.
envision harmony and mental clarity
focus on a journey of possibility
Meditate on transformation and
awareness of inner state
peace and healing
instruct your mind
to redirect the lost and struggling inner voice
Where you can’t see the wood for the trees
under your nose is the path of freedom
Put aside perceived struggles
revitalize, relax, respond
to body, mind, heart and spirit
Intuition, introspection and spiritual renewal
bring about personal healing and
Stillness of mind – concentration
Thoughts of the subconcious and subliminal
beyond all negativity
away from all interuption
To allow time for self communication and
expression of inner self
Senses – awareness of scent, sight, sound, taste and touch
Healing hands of the medical profession or alternative therapy
ambiance, temperature, oils, music, sounds and
sights of nature or universe
realisation comes in various form and shape
causing us to feel life in fullest expression
Connecting – whispers of wind
radiating everpresent warmth of sun
a blanket of love and light comforts consoles over and through the cosmos
rippling infinately through infinity outwards, onwards
connecting right back into where we are at right now
unmoved unchanged and as we were
Wise – responsible courageous allowed to let go of need to be judgemental or
let go of controlling enable trust wisdom and humility
intelligence of knowing others
wisdom of knowing self
strength in mastering others
power to master oneself
Energy -breath, force, spirit, soul, God, universe –
whatever – doesn’t matter how you refer to it on personal level
energy, balance, light, sound, vibration, peace
centered self – stillness – silent – eternal –
to have enough is a richness in itself
accept appreciate and acknowledge oneself
I stare in the mirror, my tears fall in vain
Can’t see my reflection through the veil of this pain.
Who is this person I struggle to see?
I don’t want to judge her but it’s surely not me.
This stranger I cast looks so tired and weak,
I wish I could help her but I’m frightened to speak.
Cause it’s dark and lonely in this shell where I’m bound
Where once there was laughter, is now void of sound.
and the beauty I knew in just yesterday’s time,
seems gone in an an instant with life’s rythym and rhyme…..
Then GOD he spoke child…What do you mean?
You’re more beautiful than anything that I’ve ever seen!
The reflection you cast it don’t matter to me,
What matters is that you can see what I see.
That your spirit is filled with a breath that is true.
And a beauty so deep that this world can’t undo.
I know that your journey seems to heavy to bear.
But I’ve given you family that love and who care.
So hold on tight through the dips and the turns,
For the ones who believe are the precious who learns.
And wether your journey is to stay here or go,
Please know I love you so much more than you know.
I wish I could tell you the beauty that awaits…
But you will know only, when you see heavens gates.
Smokeless inhales hurt.
I cough tar on my shirt.
As my black lungs breathe,
Shrilling exhales wheeze.
The nicotine cracks
Alphabet Constructs 3 2 1
Annotated Achilles amends fallen frame amputees
Bulimec Barbies browse media monkey banalaties
Cameo clouds cling to beaded breath curios
Dopamine dreams dilenate check cash desires
Echo endorfins eulogize bullet brain excrement
Fecal folly fantasies reveal relevant frivoloties
Gonadial grownups gulp secret scrotal generosities
Helical hemorriods hinder senior stricken hemocraps
Idiotic ideals idioiosyncrate post partem iconoclasts
Jack Jill juxtapositories seek sexestential jouveniers
Kryptic killer kisses ascot arrogant kingdumbs
Liquid lipid loiners fear frontline lucklullibies
Malovent mommies masterbate rich reflective mommocules
Nevertheless nightengales nourich ruby rich noonbeams
Ovulatory occults outsource torrent tofu outrages
Pensive picses picnics lovelorny passions
Queer quiet quintensials release rancid quotients
Rape ripe residuals nullify nimble reprocussions
Silky seafoam silohouttes fornicate frothy sandlets
Tepid torch trilogies belie beligerent tourniquets
Useless utterences utilize organize orgasmic utopias
Venimous vixens violate cruel.com visions
White willow wombs softly seed hospice hell winds
XY XX xfactors envision extracurricular xraydoms
Yearning yoyo yesterdays calculate clearcovert yeilds
Zen zealous zions mirror maginfy Zoneotones
Chain smoke until
I'm in care of the CO.
There's one left, still.
I smoke it really slow.
"It's the end," I anticipate
As the last inch evaporates.
I can't get
It's over before
I know it.
Butt, I can't quit.
I'm possessed with this
Obsession; I'm addicted.
My lungs have oxygen,
Yet I'm suffocating inside.
I can't breathe again
Without my 'noxide.
My mother starts moaning, with another one due.
She won't live to see, as she struggles to wheeze.
I never knew famine would produce skies so blue.
But no need for toilets, I forget how to squeeze.
Searing sun inflates skulls into baroque balloons.
One whining dog, dying , from a surfeit of fleas.
I squint as my sister beats a roach with a spoon.
She's holding out hope, with a morsel to tease.
My eyes can still water from the feces and trash,
tossed up by vultures to release fresh disease.
I dig up what moist dirt I can pound into mash.
An old man collapses, not a single one grieves.
What passes for corpses- baking black as they pop.
Now the flies feel the heat and retreat to the trees.
My brother keeps wailing and I wish he would stop.
My breathing grows shallow in the oven fed breeze.
If it helps each of you,
I am down on my knees.
I beg you.
Hand me one piece of bread.
Would you, please?
< amidst thy shell's core
healing of ones soul begins
with ......... wholesome cleansing
I needed some time, some space to think
And it was either take a walk or drink
And since I knew drinking would solve nothing
I put on my shoes and I started walking
The wind blew the chilly air
Through my unkempt locks of hair,
But I hardly felt the biting cold,
Walking with memories warm in my soul
The street was dark, cold and silent
It was funny the places where my mind went
While I slowly walked across the blacktop road
No destination in mind where I would go
It's funny the things you will remember
I recall a day in mid-December
And how suddenly, nothing seemed the same
After that man at the door called my name
I followed him into a secluded office
Where he would tell me his diagnosis
And suddenly I felt my beating heart
But the rest of the world had just stopped
I felt a hand in mine get tighter
I don't think the room could have been quieter
I shook my head in total disbelief
Too numb to feel anything, even grief
The question asked, "What does this mean?"
But the answer didn't mean anything
My head too fuzzy, my thoughts too jumbled
I turned to my love to speak, but mumbled
I don't remember what else he said
Because of the swirling thoughts in my head
It took three days before I could even think
Which led me to tonight: walk or drink
So I walked and I thought and I truly remembered
Dreams of the past, love treasured forever
Friendship and laughter, sorrow and pain
As though I was reliving my life over again
Little things that I'd sorely taken for granted
Things that didn't happen the way that I planned it
Promises made and ones that were broken
Love that was shared, love still unspoken
The frosty air filled me with a sense of renewal
Inside my soul was fighting a duel
The angel, the devil, both battling demons
Inside of myself I fought to redeem them
I don't know who won the ethereal battle
And I'm not sure right now it even matters
Where once I believed everything for a reason
I'm finding that harder and harder to believe in
New growth of life blooms
Nurtured by water and light
Look within for peace
Emphysema is like
Surrounded by an ocean
Which just can't get
where it needs to be
Even if you lie quietly
In your home, your lair
You wake up gasping
As if you ran
Up three flights of stairs
And there are many moments
When you have terrible scares
And but a matter of time
you have left
And anybody's guess
Of how many years
you will have lost as a victim
To it's nasty theft
You'll do anything to breath
You'll go to any means
Some, like me
Only in their sleep,
Others, I suppose,
Only when they weep
But it's the hand
God dealt me
And I accept it
For what it is
And long ago
came to grips
With what I face
As familiar as
would be a wife
No one lives forever,
Save Jesus and Dracula,
And I have the advantage
One really quite spectacular
For I have a gauge
A hint of things to come
Makes every joy I taste
More savory than for some.
For my Devonshire
To which I dare to aspire
I still feel your fire
Nay deny that you retire
My wish for you to sail higher
This many do desire
We continue to conspire
Father her life is no on the wire
I beseech you sire
Much love have we all acquired
Though her fears may be dire
Toss those to the wind
With this message I send
You are my dear dear friend
No matter what end
With these words i say again
Father she is my friend
My true next of kin
It's time to see a wind
I do not know?
Working double time
Feeling on my own
Now all I want
Is to go home
Where there is some one
There who cares
Yet I am so damn tired
Soul feels as if it has been impaired
Making next to nothing
In this full time job
Now I have to do school work
Oh my god
Have you ever felt
As if bitterness has overwhelmed the soul
Only wishing for it to be sweetened
Yet every day you wake up
As if your body has been brutally beaten
And nothing you can possibly do
Could bring joy to your life
All actions you make
Feel as if you’ve slit your wrist with a knife
I have been to hell and back
And understanding, I lack
So don’t skrew with me now
Cause I just may attack
And your bells I now
Intend to memorably rack
I do not know?
I once heard a saying,
that the happiest people are the saddest
Shining because they’ve seen the darkest
Like the lotus that grows out of mud
Or the rotting stump that bears a bud..
You never know what troubles the mind
So be careful with words unkind
The glowing person just beside you
Could be a crumbling ruin behind the hairdo
Most people struggle everyday
Souls burdened with decay..
I guess it takes a lot of courage
To act normal with that damage
Hard to believe that under the surface
Lives a soul with no purpose
A cry for help won’t be any crisper
Listen to the their inner whisper..
Here on a washed away hillslope
Water brought an acorn to grope
A little clay of Georgia red
Put down a tap root and make its bed
Took years to grow in this poor soil'
But it sustained on water___toil
Soil gave what nourishment she could
But help from rain that understood
Stony soil and hard rocks below
Was hurtful when Oak tried to grow
The soil strained to give very best
Oak was draining the soul of rest
This meager soil will starve the Oak
No! This Mighty Oak only grows
Had that acorn fallen on boulder
Would have sent strong root __grown taller
This Oak became a Kingly Tree
Soil is glad to have been drained free___
Of nourishment that nurtured it
Now the rain and sun supplies pith
For soil to be greatly replenished
So Oak but prospers___soil finished
(Idea came after reading Edna St. Vincent Millay..)
Tomorrow’s times are in these eyes of mine.
Away and far my world shall part.
The Seas shall rise from their depths of deep.
And in the glow of the shadows the willows will weep.
The Sun will rise as my days still come,
The glory, the power, it is the rains with Sun.
Tomorrow’s times are in these days of mine.
Far and gone my world shall bond.
The Mountains will fall from their heights they climb.
And in the glow of the shadows the willows will shine.
Tomorrow’s times are in these thoughts of mine.
Gone and here my world shall fear.
The Lands will separate the world by Sea,
And in the glow of the shadows the willows will be.
Tomorrow’s times I know are mine.
Here it is that I fear I’m near.
My Land, my Seas, my Mountains of plain sight,
And in the glow of the shadows the willows shall shed their light.
®Registered: Ann Rich 1998
they say the only people who can't change themselves are babies when they're wet
yet most people won't even try to change when they reach the adult set
they live lives of quiet desperation, still singing the same sad songs
and can't seem to stop acting like babies no matter how right or how wrong
yet when it comes to discussing the future of modern man
scientists have discover that our behavior has gotten out of hand
we overeat, we over-drink, we smoke, we're anxious, stressed and depressed
we need to practice some restraint and change so that we can be blessed
stop looking at life in the same way and start living for the better
it's time to make some changes and stop acting like we're still bed wetters
with a need for our priorities in life to be rearranged
so I ask this question, "can you spare some change?"
If you want a genuine change and transformation to come about
it's an inside job that must occur without any hesitation or doubt
yet many desire to maintain the status quo but at the same time want progress
but that's an impossible task to accomplish so again to you I address
can you spare some change? do you desire to move forward and grow?
can you spare some change in this life that you now know?
if you've ever heard someone say, "that's not the way we used to do it"
tell them to make a change and then listen the Holy Spirit
we need to stop all the unnecessary stressing
we might miss our anointing or our blessing
let go of all that harmful behavior
standing between you and your personal Savior
stop being over-indulgent, learn to exercise and trim the fat
remove the blinders so you'll no longer be flying around like a blind bat
seek out the Lord Jesus Christ
and let His wisdom guide your life
It's time for your attitude to be rearranged
a life altering decision, can you spare some change?
become a risk taker and step out on a limb
be like the tax collector, Zacchaeus determined to find Him
Jesus Christ whom he needed to see
he even went so far as to climb up a sycamore tree
now reformed from a tax collecting sinner
transformed into a spiritual winner
now a disciple of the Good News
salvation at hand, no longer living confused
willing to do whatever The Lord asks for
gave half his wealth to the disadvantaged and the poor
he made a concession that was so brave and so bold
to give any he might have cheated back their money four-fold
the crowd then murmured for they found all this strange
but Zacchaeus was a man who willing to spare some change
I do not know?
Lord, I believe in You and myself,
With You I can do almost anything.
Even if I'm overweight...
I believe You'll keep me alive until the day
You want me back home with you.
I'm sorry for my sins
And all of us are imperfect humans:
Debating about beliefs, greedy thieves,
And everything else you hate.
So please forgive all of us and open the gate
To Your Heavenly Kingdom.
Have Your Son save us all.
Sometimes I believe I don't deserve You
And Your Promise for Eternity,
But Your Son's words reassure me.
I feel scared of the destruction in Your Revelation,
But remember You'll keep me safe
If I just forever keep my faith.
I do not know?
What a sulfurous mess of molten evil
Troubles boil and surface
The singing of fine nerves within one’s self
This pushing of restricted buttons
Annoyance, Bitterness, Harm
Can one truly control it?
Stretching into the belly of the beast
Ripping, Tearing, Gouging
At its pivotal moment
A raging bull in a once peaceful town
The evils of your mind
Do you let the gates break open?
Shall you release it to the ones around you?
When controlled, it is an ordinary burning emotion
Yet, when the chains shatter and crack loose…
Oh the more difficult it will be to pick up the pieces
When death came, I declared that I could not leave soon
For I had not seen the summer flowers in bloom
Starting them from just a seed back when there was still snow.. white
As they began maturing, I could tell each one on sight
Just large enough to be transplanted that spring day
The blooms were visible in thought only, in May
The angel came in early morn to take me by the hand
I bid him let me stay because my life was just sand
Now I have a new responsibility here
Down where the flowers bloom and to me are so dear
Life is not just about the house, washing the dishes clean
It's about love, our fellowman; only a few I've seen
Thank you death angel for letting me stay that day
I'll give this life that I've got left the best day's pay
Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and
read Part 2 to complete the poem and leave your comments on the Part 2 submission. Thank
you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain diminished
Me, Myself, and I...
“There are things that concern us,”
Consensed my “Selves” in earnest
““We” fear that “I” have succumbed to delusion”
“And after careful deliberation
It is with much hesitation
That we choose to delineate upon this confusion”
“Fact is your intuition
Is riddled with superstition
And your judgment leaves much to be desired”
“So you leave us no recourse
Don’t push us to use force”
It is then that the “I” was summarily fired
I exclaimed “By whose authority?” Response, “Rule of majority”
“The “Myself” and the “Me,” (forthwith the “We”), are experts in our field”
“And with much technique and time
And some forays into the sublime
The nature of your malady will be revealed”
“So to keep yourself from having a fit
Step back and just calm down a bit”
“We,” they said, “certainly have this under control”
“We swear this won’t hurt at all”
Then I felt my inhibitions fall
Still I said a prayer to God that He keep my soul
You know, fact is I do feel off axis
As evidenced by such parapraxis
As this prose that I, (or is it “Us”), seek to pen
And with my mind feeling numb
I finally chose to succumb
And allow the “Me” and the “Myself” to begin
And then came questions in a flurry
Answer, answer and please do hurry
Not one moment of respite did they give
They pushed and they prodded
With every “T” crossed and “I” dotted
My mind felt like it had gone through a sieve
And all this psycho-analysis
Is causing my mind paralysis
The questions, can you stop with the questions please
“Yes, oh yes indeed
I do believe we have what we need
To make an attempt to identify your unknown neuroses”
My very favorite thing in this life
To simply sit and talk with my wife
About our day or perhaps the past
Planning ways to make the future last
We are beyond desire and lust
Our loves more about friendship and trust
Mornings we share our coffee and toast
Night we cuddle who we love the most
To others eyes it’s amazing to see
To us it’s simply how life should be
She worries because I’m always so ill
Proud I never let it break my will
My mission is clear; journey is true
She motivates me in all I do
I fear my health is slipping away
Getting hard to make through a day
Honestly, I don’t know if I could
Without her love I doubt if I would
Lately, I feel as though I may die
Things are happening, I don’t know why
What makes me strive to do my best?
It’s for my wife I must pass this test
My favorite thing to do in this life
To simply sit and talk with my wife
Wow, that made me cry! All at once
my blood sugar has just started falling
off the charts. By that I mean with a
completly full stomach it will just drop
to 60. They are going to start running
test today. Sorry about the poem. I sat
to write a happy poem, however, in the
ways that matter it is happy. At least I
never have to face these crisis alone.
I love you all. For Farrah's contest.