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Introspection Goodbye Poems | Introspection Poems About Goodbye

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Details | Rhyme | |

November Chills Remind Me

November Chills Remind Me



As November chill creeps in
I think of June and a friend
Sun beaming so eagerly down
our spot at the edge of town

Silent moments holding me
to a time and her pitiful plea
O' that this day last forever
and my love leave me never

She saw farther than I
the thought made her cry
I thought her so wrong
right she was all along

Clime cooled and so did we
leaves fell from our tree
October faded swiftly away
Parted on a chilly November day

November chills I think of her
so gone, I know not where
Shall June ever come again
will ever I see my friend

Sun shines down upon my Soul
keeping her should have been my goal.

R.J. Lindley  09, 11, 1976 


note: Tomorrow will be two weeks and no new writes by me. 
That is other than my private writings at home.. 
Found this in a old poetry book tucked in a chest with 
divorce papers from my first wife.
Seemed fitting to present it because , well its November now.

Answer, no never saw her again. She moved away, I lost contact.
Life sent its distractions and the universe spun ever onward..


Details | Classicism | |

Mistakes

Oh what a mistake I have made,
Traveled so far to end up this way.
  Not in a million years would I have guessed,
That this idea was truly not one of my best.
  Never had  known things had changed so much,
We for sure had fallen so far out of touch.
  So many different do's , don't , and bewares,
Actually has left me absolutely  scared.
  What a fool I was to ever believe,
That she would ever be in love with me.
  At my age you would think I know better,
You can trust this will be remembered forever.
  Oh what a terrible mistake I have made,
Wanting all these memories to just fade away.
Tac


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

SO blind

   All this time I have always had my doubts,
Not the person led to believe is what I found out.
   To be deceived and lied to for oh so long,
Down deep I knew there was something wrong.
   Head over heels I had fallen in love ,
Always thought you were sent from above.
   How the knife is twisted into my side ,
So much pain I can do nothing but cry.
   These memories of what I thought was real,
I'm confused and I don't how how to feel.
    Is this really possible that I did not know,
Through all this time it never showed.
    Such an evil thing to do to a man ,
Especially the lies which he could not stand.
    How cruel and cold your heart must be ,
To carry on as you did never letting me see.
     Hard to accept all those moments  so dear ,
Realizing they are now my greatest fears .
     What was to be Joy and Happiness,
Replaced by the feelings of a loneliness.
   Never did I imagine this happening to me ,
Thinking that you and I were meant to be .
   It's a very hard thing for a man to accept ,
When he finds out that he's been tricked.
    Was it the money or the control you had ,
Maybe because you are really just that bad.
    Some day soon for this you will have to pay ,
For the sins against me and your evil ways.
    Goodbye to you  who ever you are ,
For in this heart you have left brutally scarred.
Tac.


Details | Free verse | |

Generic Minds

generic minds listen to generic music
have generic thoughts that are unknowingly abusive
watch generic things talk about generic things
gee this generic *****is spreading like a disease
better get your flu shot 
thats what they said to me
a suicidal vaccine 
a subliminal killing spree
its contagious and the outrageous
thing about it is that the people are blind in an eye
that they didn't even know they had
it's sickening to watch these clueless civilians 
inside the looking glass
with nightmares of being free
without a key to their mind
for it is trapped in the frequency
in the illusion of time
bathed in our universe
killing all that refuse to see
those that admit to hypocracy
or see the message in hip hop
how cant you see
the message in the lyrics that
bring adolescents to their knees
from bullet wounds conflicting their flesh
contradicting that they're the best
but the songs keep telling them that they dont need no rest
that they dont wanna go home
that they should ride alone
with the gat as their only companion
and so the only path they choose is the one that they're told
until they grow old and hope turns to a window pane
inside a window pane, until all they feel is pain
they realize that the music itself is ashamed
so whats to look up to
when you cant even speak when you cant even walk because you look so bleak
your eyes are sunken from the tv you're infested with the dee zees
now its too late to turn around and live for your conscious
so when youre screaming oh please
close your eyes and bring your mind to life
open your eyes for the first time
and never wonder why
since the answer this entire time
has been inside
and you better find it before you die
you dont want your soul to be in a pool with all the others
a buncha brothers missing their mothers
but only seeing strangers
only feeling the haters
wishing they would have used their minds when they had them
and now its too late,
now it's time for another new born fate to grab them


Details | Free verse | |

The Storm

And the storm calls to me in ways you'll never understand
A gentle call that urges my soul forth
The lighting guiding a path for my feet to walk
Between the stones and ash of all that once was
I stand in the echoing silence of the rain 
It drops down upon my skin like the blessing waters of heaven
Soothing me, lifting the weight from my body 
I feel at once as if I am home
Standing amid two dimensions 
Caught between two skies - here and there
The night wraping around me in warmth
The gentle wind lifting me off my feet
Drops from the clouded moon washing away my body
and I am left just a soul, an essence 
The storm calls me forth from beneath my roof
Beckoning me into its depth 
I stand among the reeds in the basin 
They dance and sway as if welcoming me
And I sway with them back 
Caught up in the power that charges the air
That threatens to sweep me away 
If the ground will just loosen its hold
The thunder rumbles a low welcoming growl
And I get pleasently lost within it
I am so small compared to its vastness
I close my eyes and succumb to the skies wishes
Rising higher until my feet no longer touch the ground 
My fingertips touch the liquid color of the stars
A sigh drifts from my lips
There is no need of thought to stay afloat
There is no demand to breathe in air
No crushing weight upon my chest
As my lungs struggle to survive
There are no struggles here
I make my bed on blackened clouds
And give in to the call
The storm has claimed me as its own 
It was such a struggle to stay upon the ground
When the storm would call me home


Details | I do not know? | |

The Women



The Women



(for the countless women, names unknown, who bore the brunt of Apartheid, and who fought the racist system at great cost to themselves and their families, and for my mother, Zubeida Moolla)



Pregnant, your husband on the run,
your daughter, a child, a few years old,

they hauled you in, these brutish men,
into the bowels of Apartheid's racist hell.



They wanted information, you gave them nothing,
these savage men, who skin happened to be lighter,

and white was right in South Africa back then,

but, you did not cower, you stood resolute,

you, my mother, faced them down, their power,
their 'racial superiority', their taunts, their threats.



You, my mother, would not, could not break,

You stood firm, you stood tall.

You, like the countless mothers did not break, did not fall.



You told me many things, of the pains, the struggles,

the scraping for scraps, the desolation of separation
from your beloved Tasneem and your beloved Azad,

my elder sister and brother, whom I could not grow
up with, your beloved children separated by time, by place,

by monstrous Apartheid, by brutish men,
whose skin just happened to be lighter.



You told me many things, as I grew older,
of the years in exile, of the winters that grew ever colder.

You were a fighter, for a just cause,
like countless other South African women,

you sacrificed much, you suffered the pangs,
of memories that cut into your bone, your marrow,

you resisted a system, an ideology, brutal and callous and narrow.



Yes, you lived to see freedom arrive, yet you suffered still,
a family torn apart, and struggling to rebuild a life,

all the while, nursing a void, that nothing could ever fill.



I salute you, mother, as I salute the nameless mothers,

the countless sisters, daughters, women of this land,
who fought, sacrificing it all for taking a moral stand.



I salute you, my mother, and though you have passed,
your body interred in your beloved South African soil,

you shall remain, within me, an ever-present reminder,

of the cost of freedom, the struggles, the hunger, the toil.


I salute you!



(for the brave women of South Africa, of all colours,
who fought against racial discrimination and Apartheid)






Details | Lyric | |

To young to die

Too young to die


They take a boy, too young to shave
Who has never lived his life
While his mates are chasing girls
They fill his life with strife
They send him off to a brand new war
Over some damned fools Ideal
I don’t understand their wars
And I guess I never will


The folk who like to run the show
Or most of them at least
Have never even been to war
They’ve never felt the beast
As he rips right into one’ intestines
That hollow hole of fear!
Each leader should be sent to war
Then the picture might grow clear


Then when they send young boys to war
They’ll see the whole damned show
The weight of endless terror
 And then maybe they’ll know
What it’s like as a fine young man
To be sent out there to die
He might then know, how a mother feels
When she’s lost her little guy.

1 August 2013 @ 1443hrs.


Details | Tanka | |

System Overload

Darkness consumes me
Corrupted thoughts take over
Soul becomes hollow
Self castigation occurs
Tears of blood destroys all hope


Details | Pantoum | |

FOLIAGE IN WITHERED HARMONY

‘  ‘  ‘        ‘’’’’’’’’’’             ‘        ‘



Those tender wrinkling leaves pour dizzily down 
auburn dressed palms of shaven-  tree solemnity, 
like drowsy tunes of autumn’s harp sound,
saintly foliage fluting, swooping in withered harmony. 

Auburn dressed palms of shaven- tree solemnity
tangerine floats of stems fading by lamp light, 
saintly foliage fluting, swooping in withered harmony 
their torn skins crackle, mumble and fall from flight. 

Tangerine floats of stems fading by lamp light, 
brushing a wandering  sky soaking in rainfall’s keep
their torn skins crackle, mumble and fall from flight 
and whispers of stooped dance soothe the moon to sleep. 

Brushing a wandering sky soaking in rainfall’s keep
spreading leaves’ goodbye glory for a final  display, 
and wafts of stooped dance soothe the moon to sleep
as  full season of fall sheds life’s leaves to pray. 

Spreading leaves’ goodbye glory for a final display, 
like drowsy tunes of autumn’s harp sound, 
as  full season of fall seems to shed life’s leaves to pray 
those  tender wrinkling leaves  pour dizzily down. ~


~

………..     ………





Pantoum poetry
© rights reserved



By: nette onclaud



Details | Verse | |

Philosophical Poetry Week: Transient Tuesday

I am a misprint,
Ink blot on love,
I remain a maybe
Longing for fact,
No speck of lint,
A hand in glove.
Thunder; a baby
Will only react

When you etch
Parallel clouds,
Whistling on cue
To a dead town.
Dream a sketch
Of silent crowds
Becoming you,
This boiling crown

Chews thought
Into flagellation.
Holes in the walls
To spy through,
Seeking a sort
Of bricked-up sun.
A heaven of halls,
All leaving you.


Details | Romanticism | |

To Be Apart

Her smile always greets me
As I close my eyes each night
The love in her voice is comforting
With passion, she's burning so bright

A sparkle in her eyes
And a fire in her heart
Let's spend together our lives
Couldn't stand To Be Apart

To Be Apart would destroy me 
Reduce me to the tears
Without her right beside me
All throughout the years

I don't know what I'd do
If I ever had to restart
And oh how much I'd lose
If we were To Be Apart

The most beautiful girl I'd ever seen
With every desirable too
She was everything to me
When we're apart, oh what will I do?


Details | Free verse | |

LOVE AND THE PRUDENT MIND

LOVE AND THE PRUDENT MIND

How can passion nab a prudent mind
Heartless and unrelenting sorrow
Passion which
Haunts across seas 
Crazes uncharted through widow making mountains

Shadows its prey
day by day from scent of soap to toothpaste caps
Sleepless nights in strangers beds—The vows once took cannot be shed

How can love annex a prudent mind
     Diligently plodding through piles of work 
Jump between the lines and ink
like a rapist scare
to catch the victim unaware

Heartless and relentless sorrow
Years refine the passion fire
      Body aches for vanished scorching touches
Heartless and relentless sorrow
Like a bird she fled the skies
But longs in secret for the midnight flight return


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

When You Get There

Well....... Here we are , we have finally reached that day,
When  you and I would finally be parting our ways ,
   I believe  little brother it has come  way to soon  , 
Aways thought it would be me  and it turned out to be you.
   This is something that we could have nevber known,
Just never doubted it would be me that was first to go.
   Forget all your troubles and all the reason's why ,
And all the times we had when you were alive.
   Saying our goodbyes for the very last time ,
Makes it hard for me to hold back the tears in my eyes.
   Soar with the wings that were made from your Dreams,
Say goodbye to your  worries and troubles just enjoy being.
  When you get there open your eyes will you please,
And when you get there will you hug Mama for me.
  My thoughts will be with you for the rest of my days,
I will always stand tall please hear what I say .
  When you get there.
Tac.  


Details | Free verse | |

Life Can Be Cruel

I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
Wondering...
When is Mum, coming for me?

"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"

I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now

I wish God 
Could make my Mum
Magically appear
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
Disappear!

“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!

I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if 
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own

A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!

Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Dirty tears
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm

“What am I going to do?”

“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?

“Is my life worth living?”

Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!


Details | Rhyme | |

Are You Ready to Meet Jesus

Are You Ready to Meet Jesus? One day soon, there’ll be A meeting In the air! God’s people will gather, from everywhere! Jesus will return,, for you and me! He wants to take us all! For eternity! People will be there! Both young and old! Being with Jesus forever! On streets paved with gold! When he comes, no one knows! When he does, may we be ready to go! Live you life, as if He came right now! One day, before him, Every knee shall bow! May we live a Godly life, in everything! As we look forward to, the return of the king! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Paper Thin

Your paper-thin porcelain skin,
I know how to get right under it.
For kicks is why I do it now.
You tell me to love but I never knew how.
Our feet hitting pavement,
We spent the day in sunny California with sun kissed skin.
I’m learning to forget and how to fade scars,
And you let me let myself down so hard.

Your paper-thin porcelain skin,
I know how to get right under it.
And now I just do it for smiles,
We’ll never see flower girls stumbling down aisles.
I’d lose my head just before that chance,
But if you want we can still have a first dance.
Cause I think I say things that I don’t mean,
Once upon a time you meant the world to me.

Your paper-thin porcelain skin,
I know how to get right under it.
But I’m trying to refrain,
To make this not all end up in vain.
Maybe I can learn to love like some people do,
And you can learn to love yourself a little too.
Or it is in all fairness to let this go?
I guess we can try but then we’ll never know. 


Details | Ballad | |

Her Face

Her Face was perfection, Still see it everywhere
The beauty in her eyes, Please forgive my stare
Though to confess my love, 
Oh no, I wouldn't dare...
So I'll just keep thinking of her, But it's just not fair

Her Face won't go away, So engrained in my mind
This girl was different, Unlike any other I'll ever find
Oh how the two of us, 
How our lives could've aligned...
So now, to everyone else, My heart is blind

But she'll never know,
Just what I would've done to be with her!
That I'd gladly travel through time and space
Just to appreciate her beauty,
And wake next to Her Face

Her Face comforts me, Holds me tight and dear
Takes me to another world, A new frontier
I'm dreaming where she loves me so much, 
That part is clear...
But as I awake, Just shed another tear

Her Face and her love, I won't ever forget
Lust for her will remain, Lips will get wet
I'll be reminded of her, 
At each days sunset...
And I'll remember everything, From the first day we met

But she'll never know,
Just what I would've done to be with her!
That I'd gladly travel through time and space
Just to appreciate her beauty,
And wake next to Her Face

Her Face is the sunshine, A universal light
With it's soul and it's passion, It was quite a sight
Oh how just to see her, 
Brought me such delight...
But here I am all alone now, Another late night

Her Face will surely lift someone up, With unconditional love
So what will come of me, Can I rise above?
Without Her Face, 
I'm unsure thereof...
Because see, out of my mind, to her, I'll never shove

And she'll never know,
Just what I would've done to be with her!
That I'd gladly travel through time and space
Just to appreciate her beauty,
And wake next to Her Face

Her Face, I see it every night, In my dreams
Where everything will all align, Oh how it seems
We're walking together... 
Hands together, Along the forests blue streams

Her Face ignited feelings, Things I've never before felt
Just got to play the hand, The cruel hand I was dealt
I will always have my writing, 
To continue to dwell...
On a lost love to whom one day, I would've knelt


Details | Concrete | |

Leave me tomorrow

leave me tomorrow,
kiss the door outside
take a flying Zebra for a Butterfly
why stayin together 
in a crystal-clear Stupidity
with green and pink arrows 
meant to create a Galaxy of Hope
somewhere
between two black cats
(obviously family)
leave me tomorrow
stay out of Africa
let it be
remove your yellow toothbrush
from My Eternity
face the Mockingbird better than Humboldt did:
(second confirmed nesting in country ever)
an Adult is just an altered Kid...


Details | Rhyme | |

Jesus Paid the Sacrifice

Jesus Paid The Sacrifice! Jesus sacrificed his life for you and me! So we can be with him for all eternity! His life for ours… a ransom was paid IN FULL, This is why I I love HIM so! Upon his head were placed the crown of thorns, Enduring so much shame and scorn. The blood from his body as it began to flow! The pain inside his body, Began to grow! The nails placed in his feet and hands, The pain he went through is hard to understand. His life for ours, is what he gave! His life for ours… Is what he did trade! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Her Final Words

"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one. 
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Her sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. 
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent. 
A meager thought 
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
Her curse.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, 
"Save them."


Details | Light Poetry | |

The end

I’m waiting for my life to end
But the end is so far
My life has become useless
For I can’t live with out her

I look around me
But all I see is loneliness
She just wipes me off her heart
Like if i never ever exist

when i,m depress I go driving
As fast as I can on the highway
Hoping I will die in an accident
And never have to hurt another day

The shadow of unhappiness
Has cover me like a blanket
Bringing me pain and misery
That will end only when I’m in a casket

But she will never know that day
When it ever my death do arrive
For she don’t even care
How hard it was for me to survive

How do I live again?
When there’s no life inside of me
How do I face the day?
Knowing she doesn’t love me

I don’t know to stop my tears?
When my heart is grieving
She knows it was going to kill me
But If didn’t stop her from leaving

Just to think that right now
others are enjoying her company
And sharing her smiles
It tearing out the heart in me

I’m writing a goodbye letter
Address to all who may concern
I could no longer live with out her
So I will go to hell and forever burn

The lights of the truck was blinding
My mind’s distracted with her memory
As the metals and glass inters my heart
And brings to end my sad life story

The crowd gathered to see what happen
Some hold the breathe and cried
As she is out clubbing with her friends
They find a lifeless bloody body inside


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Letter to bereaved ones

         I beg your forgiveness for I am not long for this world. Happenstance has led me down this path so crooked and forlorn. Misery has preceded my path and darkened my senses all but torn. Mistakes have illuminated my way though their light be a fallacy; an illusion to comfort a tortured mind, riddled with confusion and false fancy. ‘Tis only just to forgive me sisters, I am not long for this world. 

          An image wreaks havoc with my memory. A picture so horrendous the effects of its trauma echo through the hallways of time. The sight that for all my life I was so grateful to possess, leads me now to curse what gods may be that granted it me. For surely had I never seen the sight of him, cold and lifeless, I would have eventually endeavoured to be healed in my spirit. The fault is mine; it was never him but I that had the capacity to change. ‘Tis only right to forgive me father, I am not long for this world. 

       My middle name should rather have been disappointment. That is all I have ever delivered to her who brought me into the world and nurtured an infant into a lady. I call her Gaia, that is her spirit name.  My existence has put lines on her face prematurely and caused her to despair time and time again. The audacity of me now to leave this earth without ever having produced for her a grandchild. The insolence of leaving only words to counter the preponderance of condolences from rejoicing enemies that shall now assail and abuse her. My soul is repentant, twas never the intent to hurt your heart dear Gaia. ; Tis only compassionate to forgive me mother, I am not long for this world. 

       As for the empty future that awaits me. No children to carry on the memory of me. No great achievements to render my life the content of legend. No great works to immortalise me in poem and prose. No others to mourn the passing of a life most unremarkable. Nothing but things, regrettable decisions, words left unsaid and the cold sound of silence to mark that most auspicious event. Death finds me waiting and unafraid with only the last words to pass from these lips; ‘tis only fair to forgive me self, for we are not long for this world.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dead End Town


He stood on the tracks in the middle of town and thought of yesterday with a heavy frown. Behind him, a life he chose to forget. Ahead a new day, beyond the sunset. Memories of his childhood like a train wreck left him battered and bruised, a noose 'round the neck. A mother who left him before he was nine, a dad who never worked, stayed drunk all the time. His brother, a hero, lost in the Vietnam war. His sister, an addict, he could help no more. Nothing left for him in this dead end town, and so there he stood taking one last look around. He heard the train whistle and his heart felt renewed. With hope for the future, happiness, he pursued. As he boarded and took his seat on the train, he waved goodbye to the heartache, goodbye to his pain. He closed his eyes and fell into peaceful sleep. Then awoke with one memory, he decided to keep. Long ago, Grandpa gave him his pocket watch and said, "give wings to your soul or you might as well be dead." Just a boy at the time, he did not understand. Looking up now, he thanked Grandpa, watch in his hand.
By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders


Details | Rhyme | |

Drown

The water in my chest,
And my eyes, they burn,
Lungs burst for air,
They are losing all their turn.

My eyes see the light,
That swims in the water,
And as I sink,
My lungs burn hotter.

I try to breathe,
Yet only choke,
I scratch for the surface,
Pray that it be broke.

But I know that I,
Will soon touch sand,
But only beneath the waves,
I will never touch land.

So I close my eyes,
To be engulfed by the dark,
As as i slip away,
Shines bright,  the mark.

The deeper I go,
My dress cling to me,
As I drown,
Sink,
To the bottomless sea.


Details | Romanticism | |

Discovering Love

What is this? This way I feel?
I've never felt before
A desire for a love to heal
A heart so cold and sore

Out with the old
And in with the new
To my past love, I never told
But I'm happy at the chance to meet you

Discovering Love is pretty overwhelming
In my heart, so many feelings assembling
So much beauty in so many faces
Spread across the world, in a million different places

I want someone to hold dear by my side
Each and every night
To be there when I want to hide
And tell me everything's alright

Meet someone with their heart so open, their eyes so wide
Who reminds me of the one I lost
To pick up the pieces, while to my life revive
And breathe love's warm fires on a heart of frost

She's out there somewhere, thinking of me
As I am of her
Just a blank face in our minds
For which our hearts slowly burn

Discovering Love is pretty overwhelming
In my heart, so many feelings assembling
So much beauty in so many faces
Spread across the world, in a million different places

And my past love will do the same
Meet someone kind, and new
Know he'll grow to love her name
Just as I did, and still do

What will come of them, I'll wonder
Pray she finds happiness beyond compare
Under the sun, rain, and thunder
But to share these feelings with my new love, I wouldn't dare

Discovering Love is pretty overwhelming
In my heart, so many feelings assembling
So much beauty in so many faces
Spread across the world, in a million different places


Details | Senryu | |

12-21-12

The end of the world — 
I will see you all in hell.
May I rest in peace.


Details | I do not know? | |

Distant African Nights

Those Distant African Nights...


1.


The shadows swayed in your candlelit room,

a cool breeze teasing your bare back,


streaks of lightning forked in the Johannesburg night,

as my hands stroked your hair,

kissing your soft mouth,

holding you,

ever so tight.



2.


You whispered that you loved me,

and I kept silent,


the rain fell, 
shadows danced,
thunder rolled,

the breeze teased your naked back,

you whispered that you loved me,
as my lips found yours,

the rain washed over our tender nights,


lightning and candlelight,

etching poems on your burnished skin,


yet,

a fear gnawed at me,

deep within.



3.


We parted ways,
and you could never forgive me, you said,


now, after numberless thunderstorms,

the rain that falls,


echo the countless tears that I have shed.



4.


You are long gone,

far away,

happy, I pray,


yet the memories persist,

those precious moments shall never, 
ever,

like the Jo'burg rains,
trickle away,

and I wish you well,
for loving me as you did,

for it was I who was not worthy,


then,


and it is I who is not worthy,


now...



5.


You were always true,


it was I who always,

always,

refused to,


to give myself,


completely to you.






Details | Lyric | |

Thought It Was Right

 It's a funny thing  we have in this relationship we call love ,
I know this one thing for sure and  that it was not from above.
   Struggle as we may day after day week after week,
Doesn't seem to matter we can never reach what we seek.
    In my heart I know what  I have felt for most my life,
Forever it seems I have wanted you to be my loving wife.
    But there's always been this small wedge between  you and I,
You just were unable to stop yourself from telling me lies.
     Oh there were days that were so good and felt so right ,
It always changed before we had ever reached the night .
     A very sad thing to see hop[es and dreams fade away,
Nothing left but to remember those wonderful  days .
     Still I believe in relationships that are filled with love,
The ones that are truly made by the hands from above.
       So much will be lost  and will never be recovered ,
But  there will be so much  more gained with a new lover.
       A far cry from what I had dreamed my life would be,
Yet I will continue on in search of a love meant just for me.
Tac


Details | Free verse | |

Visible Breath

Autumn comes I stand watching the leaves..thinking
The breath leaves my body unseen
But as the mercury drops and as I ponder my place.
I notice all I think all I feel.
Right there on the window before me.
To others it's just a mist caused by cooling or heating or both.
A chilhood whimsical game"oh boy look it's cold"
To me that mist is all, your name , your face, Our time.
I want to wipe it away this physical aberation of all unseen in my heart.
I see it all the pain the love the heartache everything in a small whitish cloud on a simple window.
My hand reaches pauses  oh so this is what you look like.
Oh if it was so easy to be done.
The mist fades rapidly with every lonely wasted breath. Making an apperance oh so briefly.
What ever course I take to wipe away or to gently touch the mist.
Would this breath on the window which taunts me so relay back to my damaged soul see its gone you'll be ok now or see how it welcomes your touch?
welcome to the world for all to see.
Hidden by the sun most of the time.
My fingers glide through the vanishing mist, I flash back to your cheek beneath my fingers.
Goodbye my love, goodbye my pain, goodbye to the only proof I have left of you.
But at peace I am.
I know now what I did not before.
Your not invisable your their in my breath.
Kissing the crisp Autumn air with me.
And all I have to do is breath.
And my visible breath will show me all I feel is real as real as the mist on the window


Details | I do not know? | |

She

She

She smiled, gently,
her warmth infusing me,
with a serene stillness of time.

She settled, slowly,
in my waking thoughts,
a soothing balm of simple joy.

She remains, scribbled,
on the walls of my fractured heart,
memories of happiness that once breathed...



Details | I do not know? | |

Port of Call

Port of Call


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

with the breath of the ocean a caressing balm,
soothing pained memories away,
to the swaying of a solitary palm.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

feeling the brushing away of all past turmoil,
on a quest for solace, ever so hard to find,
yet comforted by the crashing of the waves,
as the tide cleanses all pain,
and leaves despair far, far behind.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

drenched in a sea-breeze of mist,
that hushes the ache of bygone moons,
tasting the salty tang on my lips,
as the burnished sun,
over the distant horizon,
swoons,

and dips.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

searching, ever searching,
for a slice of solitude,
as memory bids a final adieu,
reaching under the sea so vast,
and seeking comfort in the depths,
while embracing,
the tomorrows to come,
wishing that they be true.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

seeing my truths drown,
as they slip beneath the turquoise waters,

feeling my heart ablaze,
with a passion that rarely falters.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

yet knowing that I am home at long last,
wishing the waves would wash away,
the defences that once stood,
like an impregnable wall.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

I have found, at long last,

my final port of call.


Details | I do not know? | |

For Bob Dylan

Ramblin' Bob Dylan Blues
(For Bob Dylan)



Why does the sun dry up so many scattered tears

slipping down the coarse cheek of a million hushed fears

where no one is scalded though the searing fog clears

while prayers are mutely spoken even as the end nears

We shatter and scrape on demented knees

Blindly begging for mercy as it silently flees

Searching listlessly for salvation drowned in the breeze

That spits at the soft rose suffocated by a wheeze


I know now what I need never have known

Of hope that was trampled before it had flown

Into a wasted sky filled with hate that could drown

The giggling of the crowd and the crying of the clown


A hope so fragile that its wings were of brittle glass

Ripping the veneer off the sewers of class

Twisting the fabric of the weighed and costed mass

Who numbly waited hoping that it too may pass


For when shards of that hope in all hearts scurries away

To a darkness where crowded night is emptied off the heaving tray

'Tis then when sewn eyes shall behold that doleful day

When all shall tear at each other while on demented knees we still shall pray


For a lifting of the veil of that wilful deceit

That's wrapped up in a flag swollen with conceit

While the limbs splinter in the claw of a winner's defeat

Yet still the drums roll for the ill-fated souls chose never to retreat


From that drenched battle-ground where blood flows through a sieve

And love's lost song plaintively begs for a reprieve

From eternal loss which into raw emotion does cleave

Only to slip through the fingers and like grains of sand, leave.


Details | Rhyme | |

Vexing High

I’m caught in the midst of a dream I reside –
tumbling lovers tempting romance with pride.
Twisting and thrusting, to and fro with hate –
stumbling over a beautiful destiny and fate.

Creeping and crawling through shards of hope –
resisting the tension on a loveless, tight rope.
Shuddering in solitude, and mentally numb –
oblivious to the breakdown of who I’ve become.

Teasing and taunting, the years of lost time –
mocking their innocence with words and rhyme.
Insulting their integrity, of wrong over right –
disregarding true feelings, absconding the night.

Searching the wreckage, down high and up low –
for bits of true love and familiar pieces I know.
Vexing in torment, and accepting thy defeat –
of an unspeakable romantic tale of deceit.


Details | I do not know? | |

Saturday Rain in Johannesburg

Saturday Rain in Johannesburg…


…With sighs of torrential passion,
the heavens shower teardrops,

weeping with me,
as memories of you come cascading back,

skin on skin, ablaze,
moist kisses, fiery,
gentle whispers of undying love, murmured,

in another life, another time,

far removed from my present, a desolate state of despair,
wallowing in the grime.

…

The rain keeps falling,
each teardrop stinging my face,

tasting the salt on my lips,

I wonder, do you still remember the caresses of my fingertips,

between breathy confessions, and vows of eternal love,

before you left me, stranded on an island of solitude,

wounded as a wingless dove,

bereft of life,
stripped of all traces of fortitude


Details | Lyric | |

Ouroboros

A pit filled with snakes
And a loaded gun
I jump in to escape
My burning tongue
These lips leaking fire
My eyes so cold
I dread to imagine
The hate I’d mould
But still you persist
And I refuse to speak
There’s pain running down
My tear-soaked cheeks

And I’m so alone
Around you

The bullets aren’t hitting
A single snake
Injecting their poison
In to my veins
But still I evade
A single glance
In to your eyes
I refuse your hands
As I spit and strike
With all my rage
Into myself
With these vicious snakes

Because I am alone
Without you


Details | Free verse | |

Disconnection

I'm…
so tired of my heart 
breaking

I'm …
so tired of my hands 
shaking

I'm so tired of my mind
racing

I'm through pacifying 
my disconnection

Do I only love you for who you used to be?
When you said you'd wait for all eternity?
Did you drink away every memory of me?
How am I not everything you’ll ever need?!

I've had to sit down and write this 
to tell you the words i can't speak
When I'm around you now i feel weak
I'm drowning in my disconnection

Where did he go??
You are not the soul I used to know
Where did your memories go?!

Why has the meaning disappeared…
So suddenly
Now I realize I should too

You act like you remember nothing 
I can tell that’s what I mean to you
After all I’ve done for you
All I want is to be emotionless too

In the end I guess it’s what I love the most about you…..
Your disconnection.

[©2012 SLS, this soon to be a new song for It Is Rife With Ambiguity]
www.sorrylittlesharky.com


Details | Rhyme | |

If Christ Came Today

If Jesus came today...
Would you join him!
Or would your lifestyle
simply annoy him?

If he came...  Are you ready to go?
Is he the lord of your
heart and soul?

Would he find you looking
for his coming?
What kind of follower
have you been becoming?

Hopefully a follow of Jesus,
you’ve already decided!
A mansion for you, in heaven,
has been provided!

The king of kings and son
Of God is he!
And wants to take you!
For all eternity!

Won’t give him your faith
and trust in him?
Won’t you give him your heart?
And love him?

His coming could be today
or tomorroe!
You don’t want to be missed!
And be filled with sorrow!

Jesus is the gate to heaven above!
You can be filled right now!
With his mercy and love!

Won’t you join Jesus?
There’s alwaysl room!
He’s coming back!
And very soon!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

How Do I Let You Go

What will be
Will be!
I know of this, first hand
Your life was taken away
So abruptly!
I will 
Never forget
That day!
Till the day 
My body dies
And
I am with you, again!

“How was I to prepare myself?”
With 
That kind of 
Life changing, event!
You 
Didn't warn me 
You
Were permanently leaving!
I hope 
You know 
How much “I love you”
Know
You will never be forgotten!

I don’t know 
What 
Has got into me!
Consciously
I feel you
Inside me
I see images
Of your face 
So clearly!
Am I crazy 
To believe in this, my love?

“Are you still with me?”
“Is my imagination 
Playing cruel tricks
Running rampant
As
I talk with you
As if 
You were by my side, right now

In my heart and mind
Your face etched
Imprinted
Like a blue print
That never fades
Your foot prints 
Still remain, beside me
My heart beats
Eternally
Trying to make sense of everything!

Forgive me, my love
For being so strong in my feeling
For it has been a long time
Since I lost you, my friend
Something 
I haven’t
Quite
Got over!

My heart 
Having 
A mind of its own
Aching 
To be with you, still!
To see you
To smell you
To touch you
To taste you
One
Last time!

I want to say “Goodbye” 
Once and for all!
As 
We have
Brought out
The best and worst 
In each other
Rivers run deep
When it comes to you and me!

We have had our fair share of fights and arguments
Stubborn disagreements
All of them
Meaningless
Now
You cease to exist!

I miss your lingering touches
Your hand, stroking my face
Your big, blue eyes
Looking into mine
Your warm lips
Your rough, unshaven face 
The way you
Passionately
Kiss me
While
We make love, till dawn

I miss
All those nights
You kept me 
Safe and warm!
I miss
Your
Loving embrace
I miss
Your
Reassurance!
“Am I ever going to feel the same, with another?”
Just
As 
I felt
In your arms, my love?

How
Do I let you go?
How
Do I set myself, free?
I am ready
To love, again!
With 
‘Our eternal love’
Supporting
And 
Guiding me
Especially
In times, like these!


Details | Free verse | |

True Reality

Why is it
I am always wrong?
Something
I have always done?
Why is it
I am 
Never good enough
In your eyes
In challenging times?

How many times
Do I have to say
“I love You?”
What will it take
To convince
That mind 
And 
Heart 
Of yours?

What can I say
That will ease 
This jealousy
And 
Resentment
You feel towards me
When drinking 
Too much booze
Killing what brain cells
Are left
In that stubborn 
Head of yours!

How long 
Will it take
For you 
To believe in me?
For I know
I am a fool 
Staying here, with you!
Feeling desperate
Lost and lonely
Dreams squashed
Emotionally drained
When ‘we’ need to pull together
In union ship
To make 
This bond strong
Between us!

'Uniting as One’'

'Love Conquering All'

“Well!”
“So, I am told!”

I love you more
Than this
Arguing and fighting!
But 
You refuse to understand
The love I have for you

My head 
Tells me to stay with you
But
My heart knows
I cannot!
For
I have asked you 
To be kind to me
I have asked
You to open up 

Your anger and rage
Continues growing
Out of control
Taking over
Like
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 
Burning bridges
Being ruthless
Always
Out for the kill!

I need to break away!
I need to clear my head!
I need to experience
Love and longevity
True togetherness
With 
The one’s I love!
My heart needs to experience
‘Healthy Love’
My heart deserves the best!
You now
Belong in my past
I am no longer the person
You once knew me, to be

Your insecurities
Your inner demons 
Far bigger
Than any of the love
You choose to acknowledge 
Or 
Feel from me!

You can believe this 
To be true
If nothing else!

“Love thy self”

Share
Without personal gain
Being 
Your Primary Motive!
Know Love 
Be Love, in Action!

Be honest
Have empathy now
As
I cut these cords
Of emotional bondage
That 
Bind us together 
True Love 
No longer 
Our foundation!

I stand on my own
Knowing
I have learnt the lessons
You have come to teach
I now know
What love isn't!
“I thank you”
For showing me this!

My illusions of love
Blinding me
Colouring my experiences
Revealing
Only what 
'I Wanted Us To Be'
Not
‘True Reality’


Details | Free verse | |

Seeded Pain

This is far more greater a pain that was ever needed ,
The damage done long ago when it was seeded.
    This hurt you planted deep within me ,
Has grown to a  size that just shouldnt be .
     Disrespect and neglect it means nothing to you,
For it is something you just will always do.
     Love doesn't hurt like this it never  could ,
The words mean nothing to you but they should .
    Compassion and understanding is what love takes ,
If you want to live a love without heartbreaks.
    Talking and listening go hand in hand ,
To love in this life as a woman and a man.
     Im so devistated by the events of these days ,
Not able to to get you to ever  change your ways.
     How can I convince you that it is all a mistake,
And the pain and hurt  I can no longer take .
     Makes me never  wanting to awaken again,
No matter  even if it's  Gods  greatest sins .
TAC 


Details | Free verse | |

Dreamless

When being awake
is hard and unbearable.

When in restless dreams
peace is fleeting.

What else is in there to live and hope for
if not only to be eager for your own demise?

The planks of wood may come and cover me
forwhy about this life I have nothing else to say.


Details | Free verse | |

Built to Destroy

stomping to
nothing.
there is no end,
pounding to the
core.
branches, roots, arms
cut from the limbs.
to fall from the almighty
saw.

disposing mountains flat, 
an army to stampede 
on all.


the grass was too alive,
must spread blocks
of solid nothing.
so the feet can forcefully
collide.

a machine to destroy
any patch that is promised
a machine to do
as told
a machine to implode


all the seats are taken
but all still admire.
running on
 heavy minds

the saying extinct will 
no longer exist,

only a man can project such 
a word


Details | Free verse | |

For Margaret

A jump a skip and a jig perhaps 
I shall steel myself and I will
Dance on her grave

Mystery no forgiveness as time has passed
But my promise made and I will
Dance on her grave

An oath made as a wilful young man
Older now yet still and I will 
quietly 
Dance on her grave


Details | Rhyme | |

Suicide Is Not the Answer


Lately, I have noticed a very disturbing trend.
Many people wish for their life to end!

There are many circumstances
that bring this about.
Many feel "trapped in," and think
"there's no way out!"

I admit,...  I have been very
discouraging thoughts.
Sometimes, wondering, if I was dealt
"the wrong lot."

But just when I feel alone
and trapped within.
I think about Jesus! He's always
been my friend!

I've called to him more than a time or two...
When I didn't know
"what I was going to d."

When, to him, I cried out and pleaded...
He's given to me the hope
and direction I needed!

I recommend this same Jesus
to your life today!
Whatever your problem...
He has made a way!

An abundant assurance
Is what Jesusbrings!
He is an awesome God!
And can take care of everything!

Your problems are never too big
or small for him to take control.
He can bring healing to you!
And make your body whole!

He is what's needed! In this lost
and dying generation!
Won't you accept his mercy
and salvation???

By Jim Pemberton   2012





Details | Free verse | |

Rained Filled Clouds

Rain filled clouds are what follow me now ,
No sunshine for me these days and smiles are not aloud.
My sight is blurry now and can't listen to what you say,
It was you who has caused this and why I am feeling this way.
Hold on tightly now It has been the ride of my life ,
But somehow it slipped away like a thief in the night .
How did I not see it so plainly writen on the wall,
Never in a million years did I expect to lose it all.
But here I am standing with my back  turned away,
For I can not face the sadness you brought me this day.
Why has this happened to me and just what will I do,
Shell of a man in a life that was suppose to be spent with you.
It's over now and it's all becuase of you 
I just cant see  theres anything you can do .
 Blinded by the love  for you never a  reason to doubt,
So quickly I learned howI will be going without.
 The warmth of a love you brought to me ,
 Now I will live without what was meant to be .
You were always a a part of the world I've grown to know,
Now that your gone the sadnees in my face will forever show.
These cloudy days bring me nothing but pain,
My life forever will be only me standing in the rain.
TAC


Details | Light Poetry | |

The 4 Boyfriends

Once there was this girl
Who have 4 boyfriends?’
She thinks it was just for fun
But it would soon come to an end

She love the 4th boyfriend
More than all the rest
So she gives him gifts
And treat him the best

She also love the 3rd boyfriend
Showing him off to her friends
But she has fear that one day
Their relationship will end

She also love the 2nd boyfriend
He’s always considerate and kind
When ever she face a situation
He would help her every time

The 1st boyfriend gives her everything
To make her very happy
But she never did love him
Although he lover her deeply

But one day the girl got sick
She got cancer in her bones
Now she has 4 boyfriends
But when she dies she I’ll be alone

So she ask the 4th boyfriend
Of all I love you mostly
Now that I’m dying will you follow?
Me and keep me company

No way; said the 4th boyfriend
And without a word he walk away
His answer felt a sharp knife
Went in her heart that day

She turns and asks the 3rd boyfriend
You know I have love you plenty
Will you follow and stay with me
When they bury me in the cemetery

No way; said the 3rd boyfriend
I will marry some one else
Life is to short 
And he leaves her crying tears

She then ask the 2nd boyfriend
If I need help you have always cared
When I die please come and stay with me
Because I will be very scared

Sorry I can’t help you this time
I have my own life to save
The best I can do for you
Is to walk you to the grave

His answer struck her by surprise
And she feels so very low
When she heard a voice said
I will follow you where ever you go

It was her 1st boyfriend
Looking sad standing by the door
Then she says she’s so sorry
For not loving him before

Then she close her eyes 
And died with out any fear
Knowing the one who truly loves her
He will always be there

When some one loves you
Please don’t push them away
Because true love will 
Always be needed one day


Details | Rhyme | |

The Girl Who Was My Wife

The Girl Who Was My Wife

The largest portion of my life 
Seventeen years of time,
A beautiful girl, who was my wife
Now, no longer mine

I blame no one but myself
In the fracture of her heart,
She did her best to keep it whole
As I tore it apart

I met her when we both were young
Our heads so full of dreams,
We did everything together
Just yesterday it seems

No formal education,
Not arrogant or loud
But in everything she ever did,
She always made me proud

She may not even know it,
She may not even care,
But I cherish every single year
When I knew she was there

I miss her words of wisdom,
I mess her sage advice,
I miss the look of love
I used to see within her eyes

I miss here gentle smile, 
The scent of her blonde hair,
Her plain and simple presence
That’s now no longer there,

She’d lift me up when I was down, 
And help me dry my tears,
She’d chase away the boogey man,
And calm my endless fears,

She tried so hard to make it work,
I tried hard to make it not,
And what I fought so hard for,
I suppose I finally got,
Our family left in tatters,
As best as I could tell,
And all the years since then, for me,
Have been a living hell

I tried again a couple times
As I’m sure she did too,
But no one else could take her place
And do the things she’d do

So now I cry at night alone,
No one to dry my tears,
At the mercy of the boogey man,
And all my endless fears

I tried to keep my hope alive,
That we might try again,
But my dead hope has been entombed,
Knowing we’re not even friends

And as I see her from afar,
I know how much I miss,
Her love, her touch, her gentle ways,
And yes, her tender kiss,

This one thing I want her to know,
The girl who was my wife,
She’s the best thing I have ever had,
Through my entire life


Details | Free verse | |

Solitude

Skimming my lips, 
so tenderly-
you disappear in silence
a wakeful intensity of respect.
The wishes of my heart.
I find you are leaving me now.
A shadow of senses-
sight surrounding inner wealth
calling out for more.
Riding high- you have such grace.
Tears brim the surface
as I long to be the object of your desire,
once again.


Details | Free verse | |

A Sinner I am Not

Closing my eyes
Feeling the moment
Listening
No thoughts distracting me
Surrendering
Setting my heart free
Reviewing, learning, growing
Releasing the blame and guilt, I harbour
Releasing the things, I once thought I could change
Recognising good or bad
Right or wrong 
A sinner I am not!
My mistakes, my greatest blessings
Living my life
Being human


Details | Rhyme | |

When I Think of Heaven

When I Think Of Heaven…
I think of heaven and what a beautiful place it must be.
An opportunity to be with Jesus for all eternity!

I think of the billions that have gone on before me.
And realize that Christ has made a way for me!

Through Christ’ death on the cross, a way was made.
Because of his blood, the price was paid!

Jesus affirmed a life with him, through his resurrection!
Because of him, anyone’s life can be in a new direction!

HIS direction leads to a glorious gift of salvation.
He’s here now, and offers a heavenly invitation!

Whosoever will, let him come and receive life eternal!
Through Jesus, anyone can be written in heaven’s journal!

The promise of a mansion in heaven is for all to receive!
All can put their faith in Christ…  And simply believe!

Jesus loves us much more than we can ever know.
And has planned an eternal home, for the soul!

Blessed be HIS name!  For the new life he has given!
He offers to all mankind a NEW way of livin’!

Through Christ, the gates of heaven are open…
And through him, death’s grip has been broken!

Heaven is a wonderful place!  Please don’t miss out!
Read the Bible and find what it’s all about!

By Jim Pemberton   10/31/14



Details | Verse | |

Relationship to String Theory

Relationship to
'String theory'...
...Tries to explain
everything; but not
emotion,
Commotion as Bosons
and Fermions
unravel, 
Travel to reveal the
building blocks of
LIFE!

Yet nothing can
explain a feeling,
Peeling back the
skin of the
universe,
Worse are we for
perturbation.

Synapses fire in the
brain,
Strain the axions;
devoid of spin and
charge,
Recharge the
painters palette!

So that colours of
consciousness
unfurl,
Hurl Quarks to
combine into
hadrons,
Protons and
neutrons.

By what sensation of
the heart,
Starts the
realisation that we
know nothing,
Missing a beat of
substance.

I Surrender to my
singularity,
Parity with others,
as our worlds move
apart,
Bit part actor, hung
by a cosmic thread.

Fling me to the
cosmos, the search
goes on,
Hadron Collider,
Einstein, Hawking,
Mannikin of life,
force of nature,
Major time to
reflect on LIFE,
I am content!

Chris Matthews
16.07.2014







 


Details | Rhyme | |

As In the Days of Noah


As In the Days of Noah… As in the days of Noah, there was wickedness in the land!. So shall it be in the days of the coming of the son of man! There were many forms of ungodliness that were enjoyed! Until the day of the flood... Then it was all destroyed! Imagine building an ark that took one hundred and twenty years! The labor it took! Throughout the blood, sweat and tears! The people laughed, and thought Noah was “out of his mind.” But soon, the wrath of God, is what they would find! God gave them a chance to repent, but no one would. So he had Noah and his family made an ark out of wood. Noah warned them all, consequences there would be! And warned them of where they’d be spending eternity! Then, the rains came and poured like never before! The people got scared! They couldn’t take anymore! They cried and shouted, “Noah” “please let us in!” “We didn’t believe you, when you told us of our sin!” The door on the ark was shut! God’s judgment came down! Other than Noah’s family, there was no one else around! America’s days of wickedness will be coming to an end! Very soon, God’s judgment will certainly begin! Will you mock the men of God? Who preach God’s word? Or will you live as if, his truth, you never heard? As in the days of Noah, so shall it be at Christ’ return! Will you join him in heaven? Or stay on this earth to burn? By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Questioning

What is this world?
I don’t know it at all.
How do I choose food?
Remember to lock my door?
I’m not made for these times.
Conversation engaged my mind.
Silence takes me down hard.
I want to smell water in the air,
see it expansive and blue.
Seems like it was all peace now.
Remembering.
No bitterness, no fighting.
I resist this new way deeply.
And I know I was on a roller coaster
every day back there.
Had to fight to get my point across
or to defend my heritage.
A life which revolved around pine trees
is at the very least - oxygenated.
This isn’t easy for me
taking buses when I can’t remember
where they stop or what time.
Often, I get off at the wrong place
and find myself in trouble.
For the dark nights in pouring rain
coming up the mountain in his car.
To have those chats, to eat dinner together
my juice watered down with ice water.
He was the one who closed up the house 
to some degree when we’d leave
but it never needed much it was so huge.
The kitchen alone was as big 
as my new place entirely.
How many drawers....bins....cabinets
there were to store things I didn’t
ever even use once.
So easy then.  A dishwasher.  Ice cubes.
The car to place my purse on the seat
next to me and my drink in the spot.
Couldn’t see it coming just like my marriage.
Impossible to imagine a life other than that.
But, in both cases, it happened
irregardless.
I’m frightened.  What am I doing here?


Details | Free verse | |

what a waste

goodbye you said to me like
it was nothing- goodbye i say
to you because it is nothing.
no worries, i got it covered, i
took control & left them all
smothered, sprawled in the
hall. i stole these words from
your language, respoke, taken
lightly (just a joke) i can't see
through all the smoke; can't seem
to forget what brought me here
in the first place. what a waste
everyone says, monotone &
dull, everyone expected i 
would get infected- upon 
disease, i surrender, fall to my
knees & quiver. goodbye you
said to me like it was nothing-
goodbye i say to you because 
it is nothing.