Braise me down to a pit of abysmal.
Your balance ego
Keeps me on the void
Tainting my walls
Behind your back.
Bob had been a lonely man ever since
His wife of fifty years had passed.
“Lord, let me join her.” he would pray.
“Let this day be my last.”
Each day, he went to the cemetery,
Just a short walk down the street.
After their talk, he would water her flowers
And hear passers-by whisper, “How sweet.”
One gray and misty morning,
He had hoped for sunnier skies
To plant fall bloomers at her graveside;
But, there, to his surprise…
Stood an old dog beside her stone;
Thin and dirty, but he struck a handsome pose.
He whined as Bob approached, as if to say,
“I could use a friend, you know.”
He sat calmly as Bob planted flowers,
Carefully sniffing each one Bob put in place.
Then, after the last one was planted,
He sniffed it; then turned and licked Bob’s face.
Bob smiled. “I had a dog when I was young…
Pal…he was a mighty good one too.
So, if you don’t mind old fella,
That’s what I’ll call you.”
Pal may have been an old dog,
But he was smart and handsome in his way;
So they made a deal, Bob would give him a meal
And a bath, if he decided to stay.
Pal loved his bath, then rolled in the grass.
He slept on a blanket in the den.
In the night, he dragged it next to Bob’s bed.
He intended to be Bob’s best friend.
Pal was such a good dog, housebroken too;
Never made a mess or got in trouble.
He knew about newspapers, slippers and Frisbees;
And when Bob called, he ‘d come on the double.
Yes, Pal gave Bob’s life new purpose.
A special bond of friendship was cast.
And never again did Bob pray,
“Lord, let this day be my last.”
For twelve years, the very best of friends,
Together night and day;
And so it was, until one night,
Both quietly passed away.
The next morning, an old woman,
Tears welling in her sad and lonely eyes,
Brought flowers to her husband’s grave;
But there, to her surprise….
Stood an old dog beside the stone,
Thin an dirty, but he struck a handsome pose.
He whined as she approached, as if to say,
“I could use a friend, you know.”
He sat calmly as she took old flowers
And put fresh ones in their place.
He carefully sniffed the fresh ones,
Then turned and licked her face.
She smiled. “I had a dog when I was young...
a good one too. His name was Pal.”
The tears I shed are not tears of pain but of grief for you my love. As life would have it or fait at least; you lost at what could have been. Really what should have been!
I know what you truly deserve and it's not me or the poor background of which I've come from. Your friends have managed to find wives with wealth and retirement. While all you can do is carry the load as you always do.
Do not think for an instant my heart isn't hurting; knowing I'm not good enough, never have been, and never will be. I can never catch up in life and will never be an equal. At no time is this far from my mind.
I used to think love was all that mattered but now I have grown up and realize how much more there is to life. A fine line drawn in the sand from the beginning has set us apart and down separate paths. Together yet not as one; this was never to be for our lives were directed by poverty and riches.
Was I selfish to want you? I did not understand then as I do now. Now knowing what I know, I cry for you my love. You could have carried on finding that special one to share all of you with. No lines drawn, no poverty or riches to separate. No tears shed or grief knowing ones' not good enough!
What's ahead as each day passes I wait to see. God has a plan, everything happens for a reason. A new job with more money, yet not even this erases the line. Not for my life of such little means even this can't bind a heart set on a different path?
Crown of Sonnets
Why did you just get up and go away?
I thought that you would be here for me every single day
You did not even say goodbye
And if things went wrong, why did you not say "Lets try"?
I sit by my window and I am all alone
I am sitting there waiting and you don't even phone
What shall I do for the rest of my life?
When I thought we'd always be together as husband and wife
So as I sit by my window, I know in my heart
That we'll be together again, because we were never meant to part
Then as I look out of my window
In another world I can see
We will be together as it was always meant to be
I can act insane
But DO NOT
Make me feel worthless
I belong in God’s family
He will bless my future generation
Don’t punish me for
Being myself –
Don’t envy my glee
I can act like an
Adult, but I’d
Prefer to have joy…
That piles upon us in our
Being childlike is
A rare beauty –
No one prizes it…
No one came across it…
In this lifetime…
I can laugh all day
I can make you smile
If you’d accept my
Childlike dreams of mine
Don’t treat me like a sick swine
Renew my young heart
Give me the ability
To kill the old man…
I have my place in God’s family
He’ll be adored and glorified
We’ll exchange prayers and hugs
By my future generation
I beg of you –
Don’t kill my childlike mentality
I’ll behave myself…
I’m positively sure that I’ll make you happy
I’ll still have pieces of a child in me
And pass it on to my future generation…
A Very Inviting Temptation!
I remember of a particular situation.
I was offered a very "inviting" temptation.
The situation I was in... I didn't belong!
And lost any sense of "right and wrong."
At first... I felt no guilt or shame.
And brought embarrassment
to my family's name.
I tried to explain this to my wife and kids.
I heard; "Dad... please... no more fibs!"
The Godly principles were "tossed to the side,"
As the sin inside caused arrogance and pride.
Soon, all in my life that truly mattered...
Was gone! My life was empty and shattered!
I was sorry for all of the problems I caused!
This time... I took a moment to pause.
I cried to God to rescue me from my sin.
I confessed! Would God help me once again?
I read in the Bible of Jesus’ grace and love!
This time the help I needed had to come from above!
I asked him for a fresh and brand new start.
He removed the stain from a broken heart.
He restored to me the joy I once had.
I'm so blessed! Jesus has made me glad!
Jesus is the reason I'm here today!
I LOVE HIM more than words can say!
By Jim Pemberton
There’s a Web of Temptation and Sin!
There’s a web of temptation and a lot of sin…
That brings slavery and a strong bondage within!
Throughout this land, there’s an evil surge!
While many lives, seem to be getting “submerged!”
Being submerged, into a life, that many believe in.
They become perverted, but want all to receive them!
The “love and acceptance,”
that many desire.
Puts them on a tightrope! A very thin wire!
As the web of temptation and sin begin to grow.
It brings a bondage that damages the soul!
They may want to have “love and acceptance.”
But in their hearts, needs to be a godly repentance!
May the holiness of a righteous God be stirred!
That all will come back, to the truth of his word!
His son Jesus, came to the cross! He bled and died!
That through him, our lives can be totally sanctified!
Only the power of God, can bring a needed restoration!
He gives to one and all…
A heavenly invitation!
Whosoever will… Come now! And accept him!
Won’t you take the time, to really know him?
Don’t allow the web of life to destroy
and overcome you!
Come to Jesus now! He really does
By Jim Pemberton
written 17th Sept 2013
sung by Brad Paisley and Alason Krass
Just married, he loved his new wife,more than anyone saw
a day after they where married, he got drafted off to war
Overjoyed to finally return home to his bride
he walked in, to find she was in bed with another man
With just a slight second, his heart died
pain overwhelmed his entire soul, he picked up a drink
And started to drink more every day, to try to forget
as time passed, he drank himself to death, with a note "I'll love her till I die
they buried him beneath the willow, as she watched she filled her soul with regret
left to blame herself, she began to drink his memory away
As years passed she slowly drank her pain away
they found her next to his grave, holding his picture as she passed away
They buried her beneath the willow, and they were together again
and the angles sang a whisky lullaby
So when you find your one true love, be faithful and true
for no amount of alcohol will mend a broken heart for whatever you do!
I chose this song for my mother and my father both became alcoholics after they separated and my father passed away at the age of 42years old, my mother still lives but never stopped drinking she will be 58 years old she took off with his best friend from the age of 12yrs old
One day at a time
With the delusion of anger,
falling from my eyes,
The veil of bitterness,
Torn from the one I despised,
My heart withers in my chest
The spell that cast a shadow on this beauties shimmering frame
That hid a wonder a mystery this woman bearing my name.
I cannot believe I’ve lived alongside you for so long
And missed the chorus of a lover’s refrain.
We like strangers in the night
Ships passing by on a foggy sea,
Have rediscovered each other again,
Fearful yet wanting, the task ahead daunting,
Forever changed by the crimson stain,
Leaving us equipped in ways we can never explain.
One day at a time, we live for these moments,
One day at a time, is all we are given,
And by the grace of God our one day at a time will turn into memories
That we will share over a lifetime.
I Did Something That You Won’t Let Me Forget!
I did something recently, that I regret.
What it was. You won’t let me forget!
I said; “I’m sorry.” And tried to explain it!
But what I’ve done, you continue to name it.
You called me your friend, and offered assistance...
But any attempts to talk,
you offer resistance.
I heard you before. You quoted Bible verses.
Now you speak complaints and curses!
It seems like whatever I do or what I say.
You just wish, “I would go away!”
Where is God’s love, you once gave me?
Are you the kind of person,
God wants you to be?
I’m sorry of what I said and what I did.
I hope you find the power to forgive!
I’ve done my part. And that’s all I can do.
Now is your turn! The rest is up to YOU!
You can love me, or simply push me aside!
You can humble yourself, or be filled with pride!
The choices and decisions you make...
Please do it now! Before it’s too late!
I pray that God’s love, will touch your soul!
Walk in his forgiveness!
And BE MADE WHOLE!
By Jim Pemberton
I’m Not the Kind of Dad That I Need to Be!
I remember reading the Bible
to my son.
But what a mess,
my life has become!
My children told me, they
were proud of their dad!
Now they say they’re
embarrassed and sad.
I once lived a Godly life! I really did!
Just look at me now! And how I live!
Things in life I once
called wrong and sin.
Are now causing me to stumble again.
God's word I had loved!
Jesus was my treasure!
I "traded my soul" for
what gives me "pleasure."
I’m not the kind of father
that I need to be!
What kind of example will
my family find in me?
Will I grow stubborn to God as I age?
Replacing his peace, for anger and rage?
I need Jesus to bring peace
to my troubled soul!
I ask YOU Lord to make
me clean and whole.
Restore unto me the joy
of my salvation.
By your blood, make
me a new creation.
Words alone cannot truly express…
This family God's given to me.
I am so blessed!
By Jim Pemberton
written 2nd Aug 2013
This life is not as it should be
pick up your wife, can't you see
You're her husband, stand up!
give her a reason, to again believe
She means 'everything'....to this family
shutting the door leaving her totally... Alone
Do you actually know her at all...
damaging her heart and soul, deep within it's cold
Loneliness consumes her, it's been so long
it must be asked...do you still love her?
Are you willing to help her to her feet again?
or shall you sit back and watch, as she see's the end
This is completely left for only you, her husband to declare
how much does she really mean to you...do you still care?
Will you step up, or let her rot into total depression, you see it...
Love and care, or death and dispirit
It's all up to you!
Her loving husband, what will you do.....
In the morning of the night
I looked to the light to find what was right
but all I found was left
being deft in the night.
I was not contrite with this inner fight
as I lied attempting to sleep but was slight.
The night’s fight was ripe with spite
as I was lost in the middle of my left and right.
Lines of site are veiled with obligatory inquiries
of yin or yang or black or white.
Should I disinvite the blight within to settle
the fight of left and right? Or make haste of left
even though it’s not right.
But the left was and is deft and is pulling the weight tonight.
The right is though, right…
but should I be left?
I have to be forthright as a knight by being right
but being left I am bereft in my plight.
Even now I write to find my right but can’t change the left.
Having left….could I ever be right?
As I die he will be with me,
I fell in love he had the key,
And always knelt on one knee.
My last thoughts are of him,
As the lights go dim,
Life circling on a rim.
All at once we are apart,
The taste is so tart,
It all hits me in the heart.
You are left to live,
My heart your captive,
There is nothing to forgive.
My cheeks blush so shy,
With a tear in my eye,
As I start to die.
Fear not for I am well,
As many up here can tell,
It is not quite hell.
As I look from above,
kissing the forehead of my love,
I wonder what he dreams of.
I look at him so fondly,
his lips curve so grandly,
as he sleeps so soundly.
I'm like a hummingbird fluttering over his bed,
I wish to be with him but I am dead,
My life over and has fled.
I fear for my love for he is kind,
Strong handsome and well lined,
But now I leave him way behind.
Finding love is like a quiz,
Never knowing what it is,
He needs love from a heart as strong as his.
written 17th Sept 2013
A lifetime of pain and suffering
winning me over, to be loved and trusting
Now I find I'm alone again, it alway's ends the same
will my life ever be more, than pain and nothing to gain
Emotionally damaged from the start, setting me free from my head
as my body packs up, sentencing me to a year confined to bed
Finally I've become drug free, Nexium and Valium will always stay with me
you have become so stressed, it's leading your love, to abandon me
I'm cursed, I have been since the day of my birth
destined for a lifetime of nothing, even dirt has more worth
Sorry I'm no good, I recall telling you this at the start
it's me this time, to be left with the broken heart
I treasure our year before, filled with pure love and safety
my heart and soul now and forever...will belong to you matey
What’s Happening to Marriages Today?
I was listening to someone just the other day…
And I couldn’t believe what he had to say!
He had left his wife and children for another!
She was young enough to be his daughter!
Here they were, “in love” and holding hands!
Hoping to soon, get their “wedding bands!”
They were pretending that this was so “cool.”
Living now by their own “set of rules!”
How sick and disgusting this is getting to be!
Is this something that many can’t see?
God gave us Adam and Eve to become one.
To bear fruit through daughters and sons!
He gave us marriage as holy vows are made.
Not to march in an “adulterous parade!”
We are treading on very dangerous ground!
Faithfulness and commitment
are scarcely found!
The very definition of marriage is changing!
As the family unit is always rearranging!
Our only hope is in Jesus! And him alone!
Let’s promote his love! Into our hearts and home!
Let’s allow his love to be our heart’s glue!
And bring new meaning to the words; “I love you!”
May his love bind our hearts and lives together!
And remain faithful to each other forever!
By Jim Pemberton
Sometimes I like to pretend, things never came to a end. But over time, our love became a crime. I didn't know what we had, would ever end so bad. But then I knew things weren't right, when we started to fight. Now I walk down memory lane all the time, the pain is worst then committing a crime. We only caused eachother pain, but we were eachothers maine. I thought things would be alright, but I cried alot that night. I don't want things to change, without you my life is strange. You said you wanted me so much it started to hurt that you couldn't wait, now im just another person you hate. When you said you didn't care, I knew the person I loved was no longer there. You aren't the same, the new you is lame. We both fell, now it's hell. You use to always be here for me, like family. But now your nowhere in sight, things aren't right. Empty is all that I can feel, I still can't believe this is real. I didn't mean to let you get away, I didn't know what to say. Am i with the right guy, or am i telling myself a lie. I was afraid to loose what we had, but to you that choice was bad.
How can you tell when you've hit bottom and
it's time to abandon "ship"-does it stare you in the
falseface and wipe your browmemory clean cool of
fun classics, milling around in poor daylight
low of love compromise and mean mode
idiosyncracies obligingfor no one's
realsake but hanging by a nose thread to a
course coarse curve enlivened by a renal
renaissance mercury---wide base of support
newcomer setting in for the long haul given
presidence a timely sage too old for this
x@#$%* yet too youngf for climate of clipped
communication neverstrife, appealing to all yes-too
many no, too few---104 degrees FF brain on fire
dryice income shedding short circuited
sillosynapse conglomerates crazy for
passion + lust intro infusion---two part flesh,
one part soul a pinch of carnal rich renderings.
Simmer ever slowly over a lucid lifetime at
harmony in law degrees--slowly stirring the
emotes frequently--too many nights of uncelebrated
reruns taunt the VHF cable return whereas I
we my you life by UHF dial dimensions
captured like a worn heel on a new shoe
somewhat skuffed and worn and innappropriate
for a white wedding day.Stand in the back--hope no
anyone looks down at the foot floor and sees
my toe reflection talking--indescent exposure while
teetering on a limbscape construct--folly
like fortunes unabashed qualities go unnoticed
through ingoblame and slug selfes-esteams
balancing on a creepy catwalk of roma and
comatose initiatives that flatline at midnight
in a morbid midnight corridor--venimous intent O2/CO2
fright fraught about what yesterdays will upbringing fixed.
I do not know?
They Left so Abruptly
(for the countless South Africans, of all colours, who dedicated their lives for freedom and democracy)
the valiant ones
many more nameless
the truest sons and singers
husbands and poets
lovers and wives
daughters and farmers
workers and sisters
brothers and friends
they left so abruptly
with quiet pride
they left so abruptly
leaving us our tomorrows
filled with promise
they left so abruptly
so that we may breathe
the breath of liberty
the air of freedom
the warmth of justice
they left so abruptly
leaving with us their parting gift
they left so abruptly
yet we remember them all
in the days that slipped away
and in the many more that we await
they left so abruptly
yet they remain
hewed into our memories
etched in our consciences
engraved in our hearts
they left so abruptly
and yet they endure
now and forever more
After being together for a time of great length
I have no idea how I put up with you, or where I get the strength
You make me so furious, just so mad!
Why do I put myself through this, if I just end up being sad?
I get a reminder every morning when I turn to your side of the bed.
The passion our love used to have, a fire burning such a deep red.
Years pass and the fire dies down
I look at you and your once glowing smile, turned into a frown.
What’s changing I really don’t know
Sometimes wondering if it was all a show…
But in the morning, breath stinky and hair a mess
I look at you and know I’m blessed.
Because behind those eyes I see a spark
Memories of making out in the park
The only time we’d cry
is when we had to say good-bye.
I see something that’s keeping us alive
During the screaming shouts there is something in our hearts we are trying to revive
We’re trying to rekindle the burning embers
When all of the sudden, not just our minds, but our hearts remember
We lean in for a passionate kiss
And all of the sudden, remember the feeling of bliss.
And who knew that was the fuel we needed,
A blissful kiss our hearts and lips have so deeply missed
To rekindle our fire
To rekindle our passion
To rekindle our faith and trust we had in each other.
Ingrid Showalter Swift
I am really truly
flowing in like an iceberg that was off at sea
now come to shore once more
with the stinging knives…long tentacle fingers of searing ….
it smashes the shore
ripping my pretty shells off the reef
to silvered sudden silence............. the lovely waves of joy
or too...it is
as if I am a tapestry
the top layer has many brilliantly died threads
some even glisten as Gold and Silver and pulse intertwiningly with rich jewel tones and ambers
and soft areas of downy whites
and creams ....that throw light up onto the ceiling and walls like a crystal spinning
But beneath there is an undulating world of dark blue rivers baring your name
they swirl in eddies within me and sometimes
…and rise and rise and rise
they…flood the surface
then block..it all out
and all I can feel or see is the loss of you
your very ……………….goneness
and your own loneliness…your solitude
in the sounds of your shop
metal is moving
nothing soft and blond
or me anywhere to be seen
except on that one lone shelf where my very tattered pages move gently every time you pass by
moving like seaweed dancing in the swirls of the sea
or leaves in the trees caught in your spirit's breeze
"Proper Pam im-promiscuity carries a
tepid torch against the blank footlights
of a dimlit digital marital marquee---last on the
billing of a car-null double featurette like
a black and white bijou plotless rerun
hand cranked by an arthritic arm;
pit pursuant of
quicksand lust with a gray gaze monotony
able to hitchhike from a plavce point left
I've seen more action from a shoe sticky floor
or a large hole in an uncomfortable seat cushion,
not to "juxtapare" mind me but what a
chronofile, if briefcases couldspeak and not the
numbers from the credit card diction-ary of child
desires---stratfied pleasures far from TILT
lean calmly on majestic inconsequentials--like
ships passing in the night.
a blue ribbon in a cud chewing contest
Watching mundane seconds tick away
Linked together they form passing years
This flimsy chain around my neck does not betray
Nor can my stinging eyes squeeze back the tears
Dreams begin to float out of my reach
Tormented by what makes me so distressed
Losing many of my hopes I feel besieged
Yet still reflecting on the way my life is blessed
The silence puzzles me and pierces with its thunder
The foundation bucks the shaking of its core
What God has joined together no man puts asunder
The waves are beating hard upon our shores
Weary eyes look towards damp clouds and search for light
Desperate to feel some warmth deep within my bones
Will its brilliant glow supplant the bluish night
Giving a sneak peek into the great unknown
Chasing those rainbows now seems like wasted time
The pot of gold was a seductive ruse of lead
Perhaps we were just lonely partners in crime
Caught up in reveries we thought surely lied ahead
Waiting for the stars to fall into my hands
To turn this to profound from the surreal
Nobody but the stars can understand
That I’ll fall victim to my poor Achilles heel
When Death touches us, we cry,
We scream at God and say "Why!"
"Did you let this happen to my husband or wife
Who was always so happy-enjoying life!"
When my husband died, I wept for a week-
No family, no friend, not even God would I seek,
You would have thought that I was stone,
The way I bore it all by myself-until I got home.
We tend to be selfish when family dear
Passes away and leaves us with no cheer,
The house seems so dark-no sunlight do we see,
As we scream at God, "Now what happens to me?!"
Those who teach us about grief and how humans react-
Tell us it's normal to think of this one fact-
That someone most dear has been taken away-
Never to return as we live Life each day.
I want to remind you the pain never goes away,
But it Does dimenish as you live through your days,
You feel fairly normal due to a family that cares,
Except for that hole in your heart that will always be there.
Too Long a Linger in Sorrow
Transformed to numbness
Trading fairytales for survival
Choosing sanity over the love
That is draining my soul
A lifetime away
Dissolving the fairy dust
Lying in our path
Day after day
Screaming for solace
Tears fall for I see no end
Wishing for your death
So I can be set free from the chains
That keep me bound
Frozen in sorrow
Looking for my savior
To resurrect me
Now the culprit
Recapturing her dream
At any price
Too many secrets
Locked inside my heart
Who dwells here I ask myself?
No longer recognizing the woman inhabiting my spirit
A stranger to even myself
© 2008 Courtney Dyer