These Humorous Husband poems are examples of Husband poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Humorous Husband poems written by international PoetrySoup poets
The Intensifying love story by
I simply adore you, my Mesmerizing
As you are my first love.
Who lighted my heart with full of pride and
Who ignited the ecstasy towards lovely life.
Who relieved my pains and took sorrows
You made me fall sick in your love when I
see your madness.
I like the way,
The way you gazed at me and my smoky
The way you smiled at my mystifying and
The way you every time praises me.
The way you galvanized me and proved
the meaning of life.
You are the one,
Yes, you are the one who aroused my
feelings, my emotions.
Yes, you are the one who explored my
passion of love, flaming in my charismatic
Yes, you are the lovely treasure which god
had baptized me.
Yes, you are the one who turned the page
of my life.
Eureka, I found my true love!!!!
Bewilderedly I did not know, where is my
love taking me to ??
But still I like the way,
Like, the way you clutched me into your
Like, the way you kissed my palms.
Like, the way you hugged me, caressed
Like, the way you rubbed your fingers on
Like, the way you tickled me on my neck.
Like, the way you squeezed my cheeks.
Like, the way you holded me up towards
Like, the way when you inspired me to fly
Tears dropped from my eyes and the very
next moment I realized that it is my
sensational love. My true love. Then I
decided that no one had right to do this
except you. If you want to know the
reason?? If yes??
Yes, because I seriously fell in love with
Yes, because you are the one to whom god
had assigned me to.
And here comes the Swifted instance
When, the moment you wore the golden
ring in my finger and I was happily waving
Just can’t forget the time when our long
lasting friendship turned into lifetime
It was just the blooming of two lover’s
indicating the herald of the marriage. It
means a lot for any girl in this amazing
And yes, you will always find my heart
topped with love showered only for you.
And till my last breathe, my heart beats,
beating for you, only for you SUYOG!!
In fervour I wanted you to be mine forever,
We both sojourned in each other soul so
deeply that we just can’t wait for a single
second, unless and until, we share what is
running in our mind. It’s just because we
are so much accustomed to each other
I Love you, adore you, adore you forever
Parents pushing perambulators
Meeting many mothers
Coffee , cake and chat
Babies bottles to boobs
Hurry home to hubby
Hubby holding hooter
Nappy, not nice.
Baby blowing bubbles
Shower sex sleep
Luxury, lazy lie-in
Hubby having hysterics.
Siana sick over Sean
Cosy cwtch cancelled
Hubby was talking about the job he was at: when he suddenly…
Got into the ‘Computer Programmers Mode’. Where absolutely…
Everything became ‘DITS & DOTS, and DARS & FARS’…
No more caffeine for Hubby any time this week, at home!
This lingo of his, only belongs at work, where he IS an Uber Geek.
But here at home… you gotta know… he’s only talking to me!
It must be like the dreams he has, with reams and reams of code.
And tables of papers are stacked to the ceiling, or maybe to his nose.
It’s an APP-APP here, and an APP-APP there, to tie the Data to his code.
Make it go faster! Make it go smarter! In his own little world, you know.
His eyes have glazed, as his fingers flash over his fancy keyboard at home.
If only me, his little old wifey- poo, could get such attention as this, to know.
At least, he keeps my computers running, like crazy, and way up to snuff!
Now if only he’d give me the time of day… to get my own work done.
With a type-type here, and a type-type there: I definitely blow his mind.
He’d fix my typing, if only he could, with a new app, well designed.
The ‘Trouble with Tribbles’ is nothing, as when confronting an Uber Geek.
Microsoft falls into a hush, as they whisper out his name and fame complete.
For Halloween, he hooks up electronics, with apps to animated programming…
Never Fear! Hubby’s here! Next, the Turkey will be clucking binary coding.
He made Santa a GPS, which goes to mars and beyond: It’s simply otherworldly.
But now he’s talking in binary code… I hope Hubby’ll land home, soon, surely.
For with DITs & DOTS, and DARS & FARS it’s getting way past midnight.
I know he’ll be back to earth soon, tho, for it’s time to say goodnight!
Once in a land full of life
At least that's what I was told so
There lived a happy man and his wife
Who smiled and watched the birds go
One day as they were watching the birds
The old man had flipped his hat
For he had said only a few words
And it was that he could fly like that
The wife then began to frown
For the man had simply gone mad
So she got ready to leave the town
Which made the cheery guy sad
He swore to her that he would fly
So the wife had grabbed her things
She opened the door and said bye
And when she left, the man sprouted wings
A few years had come and gone
The wife grew old and watched time pass
One day when sitting, she heard a song
That sounded from her fifth floor window glass
'my love,' it said, 'I now have wings.
my love,' it went on, 'I wish you would see me fly.
my dear, come look at me, drop your things.
I wait by your window, perched in the sky.'
The wife got up and looked out the pane
She froze at the sight she had saw
Her husband flying, or was she insane?
He smiled at her dropped jaw.
'My love, come with me. Fly in the sky.'
'I can't,' she shook her head
'oh come on. climb out. I promise you won't die.'
So she climbed out, and was never seen again.
(this is fictional)
Angrily, rain enfolds the insular rise of lawn undulating.
Anglers dream, envious fishermen, inside looking out urging
apostles, who elope within imaginary onslaughts, hooked unburdening's.
Aloft, thunder encounters lightening's insistent taunt, oracles fearsome uttering's.
And still, each fisherman's innermost summoning orchestrates this untoward
atmospheric downfall, each drop induced, prayerful, outpouring is underscored.
Admittedly many envious housebound inmates seek oceans, lakes, unexplored
although, the earthly torrent interferes pitiless, onerous, rainfall unleashed.
Absent the energizing rays introduced by ordinary sun, undone
are these enigmatic men in rooms, oar less, ship-less, landlubbers unconsoled.
Another day encases them indoors mooning over fish uncontrolled.
A trophy earned, stuffed, indisputably shows offerings untold.
Ah, fishtails energetically rise incensed by objections never unabridged
absent their earnest wives, imagination rolls on winds un-curtailed.
If Ever a Fool a Husband Would Seem
Tis because expectations are extreme
So push she does to help acquire his dream
And the prize? What does she snag?
A frown and the title “nag!”
Tread careful lest that title she redeem
F. J. Thomas
Written December 29, 2013
You don't see me
You see her silhouetted by the vapor
My hands all over
She's an introverted now and later
You can build a wall
Before you fall
But I'd give up
When the wall will fall
I'll be waiting here
Plein de plaisir
In your snatch fits pleasure
Broom-shaped pleasure, even better
Spilling oil on the wonderland
The sun will fall
The moon will rise, the freaks come out at night
Native tongues and foreign lands
Leave me handcuffed to the night stand
You can build a wall
Before you fall
But I'd give up
When the wall will fall
I'll be waiting here
Plein de plaisir
A Rhyme about Ties
How many ties does a man need
In fashion to be up to speed?
I really haven’t got a clue
Would you say about sixty two?
His ties number sixty two
Now here’s what I’m going to do
I’ll snip off each end
Drive him round the bend
I’d do that, now how ‘bout you?
Each tie rack I have arranged
I tell you I’m quiet deranged
But this I must say
I’ll use them for play
Or else I will be estranged
He cuts a figure so fine
This crazy husband of mine
So I’ll just shut up
Drink this bitter cup
For in a suit he’s sublime
Eileen Manassian Ghali
I claim no responsibility for my acts,
your honor lets look at the facts.
it was a crime of UN-passion,
in a glorious poetic fashion.
He was annoying when he'd snore,
so loud at night it made my ears sore.
and oh yeah when he ate,
His clicking jaw would grate.
chewing with his mouth open wide,
losing my appetite seeing his chewed food inside.
when he was done, belching so loud,
rating it a ten cause he was so damned proud
I'd stare, waiting for his "excuse me" in a polite way,
He'd quote better out than in, I always say.
Gee let's not forget the loads and loads of nasty gas,
the quiet and deadly ones where the stench would last and last.
thinking it funny to pull the covers over my head,
that alone would be attempted murder trying to stink me dead
Scratching and digging examining his balls,
me just shivering thinking, it just might be a bug that crawls
But no, for some reason he thought it was an acceptable way,
to play pocket-pool in spite of what I might think or say.
so yes I plead temporary insanity, I know that excuse is over used,
but I was feeling a little more then put upon and abused.
I am not done your honor I could go on and on,
I could write a book regarding this nasty spawn.
The sex gee if you could call it that,
lasting all of two seconds him contented, I got my ass pat.
and of course scratching and digging his balls,
he got more enjoyment from that, it drove me up walls.
throwing his dirty socks at my face,
complaining that I never clean up this place.
missing the toilet never put up the toilet seat,
sitting on the wet made my life so complete.
and yeah gee I forgot to mention,
the television got more then it's share of attention.
He had to have the remote at all times,
According to him chick flicks weren't worth two dimes.
Night after night he'd watch his sports,
cursing and savoring his disdaining snorts.
oh and a cold beer sat in his other hand,
so smugly superior thinking I'm to jump at his command.
calling, woman! where's my supper, I want it now,
then eating complaining as he scarfed like a sow.
"The food wasn't hot enough, we're having that again?"
I would close my eyes and count to ten.
so I slipped some arsenic in his food one night,
the beer he drank killed the licorice bite.
no your honor, I take no responsibility for me actions,
he had to pay for his major infractions.
this was a mercy killing I have to say,
it was for my sanity that I had to send him away.
divorce wouldn't do, I thought of some poor other sod,
getting stuck with this Neanderthal bi-pod.
so I throw myself on the mercy of the court,
and ask for your pardon and a little support.
Thank you your honor for understand me,
I sincerely appreciate your verdict of not guilty.
She is a fine cook
It didn't come by chance
She was trained by her family
She practiced day and night
She had to learn to cook
For many in her life
Her husband was particular
And she was a dutiful wife
She told us all a story
Early in martial bliss
She made a beautiful cake
Spent hours creating it
She waited in anticipation
To feed her only man
A chocolate spearmint cake
She thought would be grand
Her husband was so excited
To dare take a bite
She looked at him with hope
That it was a delight
Instead his look was sour
His eyes closed tight
He said this cake tastes lousy
Not another bite