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Haiku Funny Poems | Haiku Poems About Funny

These Haiku Funny poems are examples of Haiku poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Haiku Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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                                                facedown on the floor
                                                the broken porcelain's moon —
                                                for Shinto's sake

Sponsor: Joe Maverick
Contest Name: Haiku challenge.

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                       --- BEFORE---

love birds coo coo  coo
mouths holding honeymoon hands
sailing rapture glow


he morphed into a  shabby computerholic couch potato
triple sour grudges, the twisted naggings piercing falceto
mr. droid in the attic snoring, his belly bloated like a preggy hag
while garbage stinks as rotting romance wilts on witches’ swag
no night dates, he tickles women online with bills climbing loco loco
                               --- AND THEN---

 merrily soon-to-be-an ex, the droidcoholic shocked bones anew
 without a pre-nup, his mother’s mansion's in my name--- woo hoo!

( for P.D's divorce club contest)

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SandCastle of dreams


********relaxing medicine****

My dreams of the sand
Underneath the ocean stars
Sleeping with the wind

********the beast dreams*******

Mr. Sandman's bag
Romantic, like pouring rain
Seashore wedding bash

********the world is home******

Wishing well mirage
Homeless with rich sandcastle
Ocean wave  pillow

********it takes two***********

Heaven passion kiss
4 hands creating a mote
Drawbridge of sea shells

*******hungry wings***********

First class bay front seat
Seagulls land on top tower
Essence of bird spill

*******colliding sandcastle******

Adventure hot day
Knocking the beauty of my moment
Stinky, little brother


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In My Wildest Dreams

five, seven, five craze
poet’s mind becomes obsessed --
visions of seasons

all four blend as one
melting pot of poetry --
eating more than words

winter puts pounds on
spring has us on a diet --
words spew more slowly

bikini summer
Brad Pitt leaves Jolie for me --
in my wildest dreams

*Written for Poet Destroyer’s “Haiku Crazy” contest

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Sexy Who'

"Sexy Who" *Summer* sand, oozing through toes water down my swimsuit piece how I love the sun *Summer* new sun-rays run my soul wind swims around my pale skin sunburn, ouch! *Dizzy* strong & Long Lasting The Viagra moment fades power by the sun *Jerk Around* secret moment Vixen photos of my youth rock hard & bigger ~SKAT~

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Haiku - X 5 - Demon

                                        Blood dripping demon
                                 I can hear scraping under my bed
                                            My heart stops

A-L  Andresen :)

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Must make haste
Time for "waste"

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a ku ku krazy day

a very loud noise
started ringing from my clock—
I fell out of bed

a bumped water glass
rolling across the hard floor—
I slipped on my head

a loud screaming sound
resonated through the house—
my face turned bright red

my husband woke up
hysterically laughing—
I was on the floor

I could not get up
without someone assisting—
ku ku krazy day

I went back to bed
wondering what day it was—
perhaps, tomorrow

Ó April 18, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest:  ????.....!!!!!.....Ku Ku Crazy......!!!!!.....???? 
Sponsor	Tracie ~*~ Indigo Dreamweaver

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Wear Your Green

Time to wear your green

      Leprechauns are on the way

            Look for some green beer!

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It is now

Ain't a word, you said.
but it takes a daring gust 
for things start to be.

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Hai-ku 1


Hi, cute
High coo
Hai ,who?

S.Jagathsimhan Nair, 23 mar 12,
for Sidney~Lee Ann's 'Haiku from the heart' contest

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Ha ha ha ha ha
Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha.

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    -Bunny Hole- by:SKAT

hidden muddy home
dirty paws, good boy' good boy!
yummy with carrots :)


  -Unwanted Fluffiness- by:PD

Big Brown Burlap Bag
drop Bunnies down By the Bay
Better off -Blue grave


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Easter Bunny

Do the Easter Hop
Basket filled with  Sweet Joy
Candy and A Toy

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Roses for you!

petals all over
sexy, sexy as can be
press the flesh tonight

my roses are black, 
did I forget the water 
dry flower bed!!

my roses are red, 
give me a kiss, sweet as you
potion pucker lips

flowers for the dead
roses running through my head
zombies are blue.

ouch! ouch! prickly thorns 
rose blood, falling all around, 
snake under my bed

I did not mean it
I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
here have 2 roses

baby bash, ice cream
only In America
roses in demand 


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Orange you Glad to be---an Orange---

     Contract Delete

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"Momma's Boy"

umbilical bound
puppeteer...she holds the strings
a grown man dangles

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Summer siesta wakes lurking in sheets for smiles— Tiger tattoo roars

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Haiku - X 17 - A home -


                                             Drenched by the rain
                               Golden key fits perfectly in the door lock
                                       Home with lots of wet dog kisses

A-L  Andresen :)                      
                                              * contest: Leonora <3

(4th place in the contest)

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Easter Bunny Race

Easter bunny race
Fell as he could not keep pace
Muddy bunny face

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Haiku Shoppe

Great idea here Let’s open a Haiku Shoppe They go great with beer Easy to find I’m told They hide under nibs of pens Don’t let them get old To make a great stew Take a limerick or two Mix well with Haiku If all has gone well And your mix has turned out right You’re ready to sell One more thing to do We must put them on a bun - Sit and have a few Written by John Posey 12/22/12

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naked roses

naked roses
—on daddy’s laptop,

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Fright Night

<                                       the ... be ~witch ~ing ~ hour
                                         ghost ~ and ~ gobblings ~ lurking .... for
                                         it's  ~  candies .......  bounty

                                        amidst ~ swollen ...... moon
                                        face ~ of ~ wicked ~ witch .....  smiling 
                                        bats ~ fly ~ in ....... frenzy

                                       great ~ jack - o - lantern
                                       menacing ~ halloween ~ glow
                                       on ~ darken ......... doorsteps

For Linda Marie's
Halloween Haiku
G.L. All

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Playing Peek A Boo {Edit}

<                             coniferous tree
                       playing peek a boo .... shuffle                                
                              candid smiles glisten

{ Christmas }

Entry For
Deborah Guzzi's
Holiday Haiku Contest
G.L. All

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Coo-Coo Ca-Ca Chu

Coo-Coo Ca-Ca Chu!
That means a bird’s crapped on you!
That’s not nice at all!

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Haiku Jam

((**HAIKU GYM**))

~Haiku press~
one sweaty work out
spot me, and count 5-7-5
dumbbells all around

~ Sweat Garden~
drench of human lawn
leotard planting between
dew drops under chin

~Listen To Your Heart~
Wink of a smile
Healthy news, swallow up blues
Kellogg's Raisin Bran 

((**SWAT TEAM**))

~10 commandments~
Haiku me and you
So much for the golden rule
Whatever you say

~Rhyme Zone~
Test your might tonight.
Gonna rhyme it with so much fun.
Like the mid day sun.

~Broken Tablet~
It's five seven five
I'm a haiku rule breaker
using four six four

~Big Deal~
LoL contest
Sweet pretty haiku sunrise
Not a, limerick


~Lone Ranger~
This is Texas man
Rain dries before it hits ground
What stupid cowboy

~Howdy Partner~ 
Memory of Texas  
Take me beyond shores
Let's become best friends

Cold cactus desert 
Warm coyote blood all around
New Indian fur coat

raining arrowhead 
where are all the buffaloes 
pretty pink tepee 

Road runner meep meep.
Stupid coyote needs fix.
I ate a baby


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a mother hen
peeps through the kitchen window...
yummy omelette

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16 Haiku

Sly fox eat yogurt,
if yogurt unguarded
close to sly fox mouth.

Hard working man back -
beautiful Kimono girl
dance fox-trot for him.

Eat boiled rice now -
or sly fox eat later
or rice get cold.

If hear lion growl,
may be fox learning
foreign language.

Fish in water tank -
swim around foxy
when no hole.

When pass across street
remember way back;
easily get lost.

Happy hen cross street -
wise if popcorn awaits,
foolish if fox does.

Why all chicken smart?
Cause sneaky fox ate foolish
when cross street!

Brown chicken dyed blond,
fools no brown fox in woods
but fools dyed blond.

If think you're fox,
put hand back and search
to find fluffy tail.

If tail color green
you're not real fox! If tail red
you're real fox.

Fox with one chop stick,
may have plenty food in fridge -
she eat nothing.

Have one chop stick?
Eat water melon
when buy another.

If troublesome mind
think you turn Japanese,
write plenty Haiku.

If think you're outfoxed,
enter woods where fox live
and ask fox out.

Smart fox say Aoo-oo!..
when she eat pepper-steak -
at Giorgio's.

© 02-21-2014, G. Venetopoulos

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HEAD(s) or TAIL(s)

summers’ last prayer

you’re about to lose your head…

while getting some tail

*For the Praying Mantis Haiku Contest

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No Charm On The Farm

The third time’s a charm,
unless you live on a farm.
Cow poop stinks each time.

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Why Does The Ape Dance

Why does the ape dance?
Because he has a hot date
with a chimpanzee. 

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What Does The Cow Say

What does the cow say?
“Don’t touch my teats you pervert.
I will call the cops.”

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haiku six

               i find your name
           rolling across my tongue
           but you never come true

                         days of old     gone
                        words dripped on pages
                         and I read them still 

          bees are buzzing with bliss 
           honey drips from tongue
             buckets filled with rum  

                       eyes of blue 
                      you are so true
                   I'm still leaving you 

                 you call my name
           i'm going the opposite way
        i just don't have time for you today 

     we were the best of friends
      it was the best of times
      then love got in the way

 I wrote these "all" in 2011,,, I know they're not the  5 - 7 - 5 ,,,, but here I am posting.

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What Does The Butt Say

What does the butt say?
“Do not sit on me fatso,
it makes me real sore.”

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Dancing Angels

Angels in heaven
Dancing on a small puddle
Always stay afloat

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Frolic Dawn


                sun exposing fogs' 
                           mischievous morning antics
                                          tickling pecan trees


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Lost a Hope

If you lost a hope
here is a nice fluffy rope
and a scented soap.


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a busy fly

a busy fly
on his dense moustache...
post tea nap


Placement:3rd; (Feb. 2012)

Contest:Juxtaposition haiku

Sponsor:Charles Henderson

By:Kash poet

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What Does The Ape Say

What does the ape say?
“Although I too walk upright,
I get no respect.”

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     Having decided on eggs and toast for breakfast, I sat, chewing vigorously, mindlessly trying to come up with a decent topic for some poetry. Nothing came to me, so, using the excuse that a poem can be written about anything at all, I decided on Eggs and Such. I fear the breakfast was better than my poetry. daver

12 big eggs
11 white    one  brown
a dirty dozen

3 large eggs
two whole    one cracked
claw-like protrusion

butch egg
cracked    spilled his guts

hen house clamor
shotgun blast
wiley’s last heist

two over-easy
with bacon    toast
mamma for dinner

easter chicken
delivers jelly beans
rabbit raisins 

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What Does The Bug Say

What does the bug say?
“Bug is a negative term.
I am an insect.”

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What Does The Elf Say

What does the elf say?
“Santa Claus is a great boss.
He hired Mini Me.”

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Wolfman Falls in Love

A car door opens
her long shapely leg steps first  
this is love or lust 

The heart beat flutters
he watches each moves she makes
deep within he sighs

Which move shall he make
I am so sorry Wolfman
this tail is taken

Her name is Molly
she does tricks for her master
rolls over and sits

Edward J Ebbs
Written for Contest - Wolfman Falls in Love - For Fun :-)

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Nudist Stoner

Those in glass houses shall never throw stones or run naked at daytime
*I must give thanks to my friend B.B. for inspiring me to provide you with the PG description of his depravities

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A Dog's Life

Put on a leash
Sniff sniff sniff sniff
New place to pee

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The Internet

Oh the internet
A battle ground for morons
Will we ever learn?

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Frog Needs a New Pad

“Ribbit” croaks the frog
his lily pad is sinking…
     time to hop along

larger lily pad
makes a summer home for frogs…
     until the storms come

*Entry for Sidney Lee Ann’s “Lily-Pads and Frogs” contest
By Carolyn Devonshire
Theme: both lily pads and frogs

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What Does The Dick Say

What does the dick say?
“Not the hand you stupid fool.
I need a woman.”

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What Does The Pig Say

What does the pig say?
“I am a little bit plump,
I am not chubby.”

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Too Much Technology

Computer fix
Another  minute

by eve roper   10/21/2014

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What Does The Swan Say

What does the swan say?
“I am very elegant
as far as fowls go.”

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On old woman's chimes
May be rusty, but they still
Ring once in a while.

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Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

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What Does The Duck Say

What does the duck say?
“You quack me up with your jokes.
You are quite funny.”

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Midnight Light

I like the midnight.
I’m not afraid of the dark.
I have a flashlight.

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Made a robot

made a robot
named it after him
programmed it to be compassionate

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just a girl

i am but a girl
in an old woman's body
wanting to break out

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Pomp and Pageantry

right left right left right shades of grey with heads held high pigeons on parade

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My Walmart Moment

my empty car idles as I shop. . . Why aren’t my keys with me? (This happened to me this year on Black Friday. Lucky for me, I had not locked the car!!) For Richard Lamoureux's QuestionKu Poetry Contest

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Cow Pie

There's a cow pie in the yard.
So what do you think?
Is it bull?

(Cow pie is American slang for cow dung & "bull" is the
abbreviated form of a vulgar word meaning something foolish
or useless. Anyway, it's a play on words that I hope translates
ok for the non native English speakers here)

For Dr. Ram Mehta's Contest on Quinzaine Poems
and now for PD's "any poem under 5 lines #1" - Poetry Contest

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~ ~DURING THE RIDE~ ~ high waves sheer lunette miles of lithium popping haze air carousels swoon crisp thrills up up there mountain cones scaling bite-size crazed arms touching moon ~ ~ AFTER THE RIDE~ ~ why, what's so funny with wonderbra i'm wearing down my waist, floppy!
(( for S*K*A*T's air balloon ride contest :))

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Gross Joke

Bugger nose

Finger goes

Roll roll roll

Poem written as a Ellip ( form of Haiku) for Ellip Contest.

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Aliens at Your Bedroom Window

Don’t worry now child
There's no god, so worship space
You are not alone.

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Sunet Strip

<                                  well isn't that swell
                                lost another cool surfboard ...
                                      holy sharks galore

                                        beyond horizon
                                 the sun bids day well ado ...
                                       happy trails to you

                                       top of old smokey
                                  cumulus congestive skies ...
                                    coughing up a storm

                                        excursion riding
                                  using buoyant enforcement ...
                                      to capture the sun

                                       yacht and small vessel
                                  endlessly floats rippled lake ...
                                       feeling abandoned                                   

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Haiku 44

This haiku has been deleted due to possible publication.

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What Does The Mouse Say

What does the mouse say?
“Okay! This is not funny!
Who put this trap here?”

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What Does The Turd Say

What does the turd say?
“I once was delicious food.
Now I’m stinking crap.”

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What Does The Frog Say

What does the frog say?
“I eat bugs. You eat my legs.
You must be crazy!”

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What Does The Moose Say

What does the moose say?
“No, I’m not an ugly deer.
I’m not Bullwinkle.”

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What Does The Witch Say

What does the witch say?
“I ride around on a broom
just because I can.”

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Burdened by your love,
wherever you go or why,
you rooked for money.

Buck… your nowhere ex,
he jobbed me for your money.
Oh dreck…We be broke!


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Naughty Pudding

Order by offer
Ingredients do matter
Stuck in first trouble

Boiling some flavors
Pudding missed in sweet manner
Moulding successfully failed

Yet we feel give up
Deserve for a second chance
Re-mould done! Relieved...

Sit tight in a fridge
Naughty pudding had a plan
Mission to seduce

Tempted by its look
My husband eat for a slice
Mother-in-law scold

Naughty pudding finally win in its mission, well, one pudding unsold :p

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Laughing out loud
not becouse of funny jokes:
swallowed laughing gas.

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Lookin' after pests
Keepin' a CLOSE eye on 'em
"Those wild animals!"

Roamin' around zoo
Searchin' for sneaky monkey
Hidin' in a tree

Zookeeper gets mad
"Where's Marty, the smartypants!?"
"He TOOK my cage keys!"

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What Does The Goose Say

What does the goose say?
“No, you can’t have my feathers
to fill your pillow.”

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a windy dawn-- the rooster pirouettes on the weather vane nov 2011 cgh

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What Does The Wolf Say

What does the wolf say?
“That sly old fox outsmarts me
every damn time.”

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Powerball jackpot
The odds are very haystack
For just one needle

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What Does The Tick Say

What does the tick say?
“I prefer dogs but I’ll bite
your ass in a pinch.”

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Halloween haiku

on halloween eve
apple bobbing with grandma......
false teeth on apple

smiling carved pumpkin
advertisement of toothpaste......
grandma's false teeth

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A good winter's cleaning

What are Cabinites                                                                                                          all things you find when cleaning                                                                                      cabinet dwellers

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Alarm cat


matty meows with
  a rooster at  6 a.m.
       but, no snooze button

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Johnny Come Blow Your Horn

pillar of trumpets
are no match in a garden
for the hummingbird

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He sits quietly,
Warm in his beautiful coat.
What is he thinking.


Sitting here alone,
Contemplating lifes meaning.
Freaking cold out here.


For Natural And Beyond Contest by John Freeman  --  Aug. 21,2011

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Just Do It

<                                   silent explosion 
                             between puckered weary legs ...
                                     spandex dialogue

 Entry For Poet Destroyer's
Pooping Contest {Don't Ask To Go To The Bathroom}

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What Does The Crow Say

What does the crow say?
“When I’m the farmer’s greatest
enemy, life sucks.”

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a debate between them

a debate between 
Tim Pawlenty and Mitt Romney--
Gomer Pyle and Sarge?

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The Cat

the cat annoys
as he stomps across
my keyboard

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Canadian Geese


                                        Canadian Geese
                                        Delightful sound
                          Husband's glasses squeeze nose

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piano lesson---
after each note
meow of my cat


By: kash poet

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Haiku 06

wedding cake
filled with fruits and nuts
welcome  family

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Funny Animals

Pack rats are hoarders.
Loopy rabbits hop a lot.
Silly skunks spray stink.

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child's treasure

child's treasure...
a tiny finger
in the navel fluff

© 2012 kashinath karmakar

Placement: 1st;(Feb. 2012)


Sponsor:Carol Brown

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Halloween Haiku

<                                      amidst swollen moon
                                 creatures of the night stalking .....
                                          predator's bounty

                                          be ~ witching ~ hour
                                     beastly  mannerism   gone
                                          totally but .... wild

                                          black cat crosses path
                                          another seven years of ........
                                          having such bad luck

                                              culdron pot boils
                               hearts ~ gizzards ~ livers ... bat's hair 
                                          witches stilled brewing

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Talking head replay
On all night and on all day
What does the Fox say

Chickens be alarmed
The news alert declares doom
Coop is in danger

O'Reily goes woof
Hannity goes bananas
Megyn goes meow

What does the Fox say
Whatever Roger Ailes decides
Many voices one truth

*For fun, a different play on "Fox"

Contest: What Does the Fox Say 
Sponsored by: Skat-A
Form: Haiku
Favorite Sound: Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!

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What Does The Rat Say

What does the rat say?
“Vote for me for Senator,
I am a good rat.”

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If I - Tryodine

If I      (Tryodine) form of poetry by Yancy Dalton

If I were a fly I could fly
If I were a bee I could be
If I were a person I would be me

Diana Dalton
10 Aug 2012

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Pit Stop -- Anger Contest

Bursting for a bathroom; Tim Horton’s stop ~ closed for cleaning For Susan Burch’s contest “Show Me The Anger” Won 2nd place

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Watch Your Step

Each footstep, thunders Near by, sunning rocks, tremble Neurotic turtles!

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Hallow-weenie night
Filled with dreadful scary fright
Creatures in the dark

Pumpkins carved and lit
Yellow glow casts eerie spells
Zombies walk tonight

Kids tempt dreadful fate
Spooky mask hides smiling face
Shadows jumping-Boo!

***HALLOWEEN HAIKU*** Contest   
Sponsored by: Linda-Marie The Sweetheart of P.S.  

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Zoological Obesity

Chubby fat hippo.
Big burly badass rhino.
Stout lout elephant.

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Negative Absurdities

You can’t hug a bug.
You can’t grapple with King Kong.
You can’t eat snot fast.

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Valentineless Haiku

Sweethearts swarm like bees Stinging my loveless core sCUPIDity!
Glenn L. Sentes For Olajide Adelana's STORY OF VALENTINE Contest 02-02-12

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Beware The Skunk

Foam came from Pete’s mouth,
with a skunk biting his butt;
rabies on the run.

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What Does The Cat Say

What does the cat say?
“That damn dog is getting on
my very last nerve.”

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Sunny Sonny

Sonny is sunny.
He is happy all the time.
What’s wrong with the boy?

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When in Napoli

Napoli frozen
Oh, al lampone sweetness!
Three divine colors

A taste of Roman
Desert of the Godly sons
This box is for me...

for Poet Destroyer's Contest: "Neapolitan Ice Cream"

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It fell from the sky.
I have a knot on my head.
Dead pigeon falling.

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Resolving with age,
the conflict “hard versus dark.”
‘Twill be “dark” all night!

Haiku for a New Year Resolution.
For many, this may well become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Halloween Haiku

ghosts and Goblins BOO
trick or treat so much candy
happy halloween

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Shemp was a real clown.
Curly was so much better.
What ‘bout Curly Joe?

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Snake Bitten

I stepped on the snake.
The snake struck me on my thigh.
I jumped off the snake.

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Night Watchman

Not on my watch man!
No streaking! Put your clothes on!
That’s perverted dude!

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Tater Tots

Yum! Yum! Tater Tots!
Smush them real good in ketchup!
Love those Tater Tots!

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Harvest Festival

aerial viewing
outstretched crows flying frenzy
harvest festival

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strange frog and lily-pad

frog strange croaking voice hanging on his lily-pad.. many allergies
Sponsor: Sidney~LeeAnn Contest:Lily-Pads and Frogs Written: Sara Kendrick

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haiku 3

February blues-

the hem of my jeans

now in slush

*another try at verbless haiku

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three fluff balls sweetly
yellow and small packs a smell
Like a hog farm!

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Can't Dance

Old King David danced.
I can’t, I have two left feet.
I can’t sing either.

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Wise owl at his post
"hoo, ha, hoo...hoo, hoo, hoo, hooooo"
thus he gives a hoot!

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relaxation helps
a vacation would not hurt
county fair and food

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Sound Sleeper

He was sound asleep.
A worm crawled out of his ear.
That was real creepy.

Details | Haiku | |


Princess needs flea meds pill in chocolate spit out... fleas all over house
Not really Anyone got an idea how I can get this pill in her I have tried the hotdog trick bit, I put chocolate syrup on it She just spits it back out

Details | Haiku | |

Naked As A Chicken

Naked As A Chicken

Clock on wall, Tic Tock Tic Tock
Excitement in the air
Where is my makeup

Giggling, Laughing, Who are you
Music Loud, Dancing, Swaying
Just want a good beer buzz

Ouch! Loud alarm goes off
Bed Soft, wrapped in blanket
Where are my clothes

Written by:  Debra M. Falgout

Details | Haiku | |

Moonshine Jamboree

Moonshine Jamboree!
A country boy’s fantasy!
A redneck party!

Details | Haiku | |

painted lady

                                     miss vanessa cardui
                                painted lady; tainted picture
                                   madame butterfly; miyo 

•Miyo "Beautiful child"

written by Lori McClure 
Haiku Me Some Nature

Details | Haiku | |

Dime Pieces

beautiful women walking fast in rows of ten March of Dimes, ya' heard

Details | Haiku | |

I always wondered-1

I always wondered 
if he knew my name
he called me Buddy.

Details | Haiku | |

Skeeter Eater

The skeeter eater
is a right decent insect.
It eats the skeeters.

Details | Haiku | |

Winter Mishap

I can’t feel my toes!
I’ve been walking in the snow.
I can’t feel my nose!

Details | Haiku | |


ant crawling in the gasket of freezer... chilling out ant seen by me.. short life

Details | Haiku | |

Parking Ticket

Friends told a secret
Put the ticket on the shield
No more new tickets
I did not wait long
To realize the secret advice
When I got ticket
I did what they said
I left my car with ticket
Glad to know the trick
Dark when I came back
I saw the ticket gave birth
I do l!#*ve my friends

Details | Haiku | |

for Doctor Big

When you are retired,
you'll be just an old man,
with a fishing pole.

Details | Haiku | |

Frogs on Lilly Pads in Review


Frog follies this year
featuring the loudest croak
All frogs in review!

Lilly Pads

Floating lilly pads,
used in spring as sailboats for
poliwogs galore!

Marty Owens for Lilly Pads and Frogs contest

Details | Haiku | |

the cross on my bedroom wall

the cross on my bedroom wall
keeps away vampires and werewolves
but not mosquitoes

Details | Haiku | |

What are the Odds

He's speaking his mind

No woman around to hear

would he still be wrong?

Details | Haiku | |

I search for frog sounds

entering between
two lily pads and pausing. . . 
a small dragonfly

in and out of view
the dragonfly flits four times. . . 
darkness following

I search for frog sounds
to go with the lily pads
of my cell phone’s screen

A link given me by Ruben about
a frog playing with a cell phone (hilarious,
and only 30 seconds: .

Details | Haiku | |

Hillbilly Haven

Putin came to town.
It was filled with hillbillies.
They kicked his dang ass.

Details | Haiku | |


April time is near
Tax man on the prowl
Pockets empty

Details | Haiku | |

A Leaf 's Riddle

What's long and tickle? What's green and likes to eat leaves? Ouch!!! He is on me !!!!

Details | Haiku | |


jumbo bumblebee

how it soars amazes me

on wings so darn wee

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 2 in Carol Brown's "What's The Buzz" Contest - March 2011

Details | Haiku | |

Affairs of my pocket book

Perz got votes

Congress notes

I’m still broke

Details | Haiku | |

Braving the Chill


a skillful sentry...
keen eyes-all senses sharpened
blends in surroundings



i can brave this chill
not the below zero at home---
The snow queen’s domain


For John Freeman's "Natural and Beyond" Contest

Details | Haiku | |

Cats laying

                                     Cats laying in their windows.
                                     Cool breeze from the outside gently blows
                                     through over their furry bellies.

Details | Haiku | |

All About the Music: The Infinite Magic of Lyricism

Pop may be catchy
But not lyrically deep
Case in point: Chris Brown.

(N.B. Poem written after hearing "Don't Wake Me Up")

Details | Haiku | |


wide-eyed owls gossip about ducks sneezing,achoo... night air filled with pox hound dogs wear nose masks sore throats itch non-stop... freakin’ bird flu romps! ~HAIKUS FOR FUN~ © Tracie Edwards' Ku -Ku by nette onclaud

Details | Haiku | |

My Rain

                                                   Frisky dog called Rain
                                               Wiggle his tail to complain
                                              "Walked me by your chain"

                                                    Honorable Mention
                                                           Pet Poem
                                             Sponsor by SKAT-AB SIN THE

Details | Haiku | |

Lilly-Pads and Frogs

Nothing Changes 
On the Lilly-Pads

From Island to Island
instinctively frogs visit...
boys chasing the girls.

Scottish Frogs

The croak of the wild
the gathering of the ponds...
McFrog family.

harry horsman for Sidney Lee Ann's Contest.

Details | Haiku | |

Divorce Club

Love seems endlessly
Then stalactites stalagmites 
Divorce comes for sure

She walk down the isle smiling in white dress
In the courthouse in black dress, what a mess
Lovers dancing on the sand
Divorce and money in hand
Got her money's worth, who laughs last laughs best

The guy thinks he can outsmart the girl
The girl knows after divorce she owns his world

~Divorce Club~
Contest for :  (Destroyer  ((Poet 

Details | Haiku | |

Sunday afternoon

fried chicken is good
with rice and beans and butter
ice cold glass of tea
and some football action for me

Details | Haiku | |

a kiss of sunshine

a kiss of sunshine pouty crimson horizon cock-a-doodle-doo

Details | Haiku | |


A Christmas wish list
A quick glimpse into my life
Not much going on

Details | Haiku | |

a peacock appears

sitting by myself
singing opera in the woods—
a peacock appears

© February 15, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

HERE'S THE STORY SINCE THIS IS based on a true story! LOL I was in the woods 
singing...pretending I could sing opera while resting on a bench...all by myself. And what to 
my wondering eyes should appear walking around with my free range chickens? You 
guessed it! A peacock! He must have thought I was a peahen. Later, we found out he 
lived several miles away and had left home for few days...he stayed here until I left for 
Texas, which was about 3 days. He must have loved my voice! OR RUNNING THE ROOSTER! 
lol Anyway, that was the inspiration for this haiku! Would anyone have guessed? lol

Details | Haiku | |

The Secret Witch

Don’t try to come out 
of the magic broom closet 
on Halloween Night.

Details | Haiku | |

Note to Self

Stop writing haikus
They don’t even make sense now
Something something cake

Details | Haiku | |



don’t hurry today!
surrender hands oven burned 
before tiny tots come

tomorrow not sure
could be black white red or none
today, kiss love sun!

(( happy thanksgiving to all!!))

Details | Haiku | |

What is this feeling

What is this feeling?
This strange, awkward sensation?
Oy vey! I'm in love!

Details | Haiku | |

No Fear

The carp and the trout are swimming courageously, Angler is a poet

Details | Haiku | |

More Randomness

Must finish homework
Bio, hard Math, and German 
Ooh! Look! Butterfly...

Details | Haiku | |

Statue of David

Hard flaccid member
Statue stands erect

By Richard Lamoureux
David for David's contest

Details | Haiku | |

pampas grass

pampas grass stirs whirls dances... tinkling sound dog hugs,

Details | Haiku | |

to agree with me

made a robot
named it after her
programmed it to agree with me

Details | Haiku | |

Environmental Muggers on the Loose

Just in: Reported 
Thefts of fresh air leave victims  
Of B.O. gagging!


Received 3d place in "Make Me Laugh" contest
Received 5th place in "any Haiku will do" contest

Details | Haiku | |

The Crocodile I

The crocodile
listens to Rachmaninoff
once in a great while.

© 14-10-2013, G. Venetopoulos

Details | Haiku | |

Phone rings

Telephone wire
line of birds pruning ...
Phone rings they all fall downnnnnnn

Details | Haiku | |


No fox is hungrier
than the one hiding to catch
a squirrel so small.

The fox hasn't eaten
in days and her stomach growls,
she watches every move.  

The poor squirrel is
unaware of the fox's intent,
and just ignores her.

The fox moves forward,
takes off as to get her meal:  

Details | Haiku | |

Fire and Ice

Fire storm of passion Clothes, pathway to bedroom Phone, for you. Hi mom
By: Rollo West For contest: Fire and Ice

Details | Haiku | |


Laps up cool water
Lifts up head
Get off the toilet!

Details | Haiku | |

The Lily Pad King

a kingly sort sits atop his lily pad throne about to croak out
Tanya Harrington © 05-10-12

Details | Haiku | |


                                         Mid night party gone
                                    all are silent and tired now
                                            needs relaxation

                                       feels distance of home
                                      driving car under control
                                     watchman opens the gate 

                                           body's no control
                            tongue keeps silence, eyelids close
                                         on own bed rest on

Details | Haiku | |

Lily pads and frogs- Haiku

Shivering lily pads
In a pond near my home
Persistent drizzle.

The dark green frog
Sounding deep from his epiglottis...
A loud and clear  Trrrr....

My final exam time
Burning the midnight oil,
his mating season!

Yesha Shah
8th May 2012

Details | Haiku | |

The Damsel and the Dragon

fly away a dragon and a damsel meet at the pond

Details | Haiku | |

Land Ho-Ku

dragons fly
burning fodder
land hoe.

sea gulls fly
over water
"Land Ho!"

pesky fly
dodging swatter
"Land! Ho!"

deborah burch©

Details | Haiku | |

The Dream

I had a good dream
I wanted to remember
Could not remember

Good dream so I thought
Took an internet dream course
Now remembering

My memory came
Somethings are best left alone
Scared me to death

Details | Haiku | |

wet fog enters trees

                                             wet fog enters trees
                                       clings upon dry dead leaves
                                             droplets water earth

Details | Haiku | |

a moving bowl

a moving bowl
under the shining moon....
his bald head

Details | Haiku | |

Gotta Do It

Summer night, scared stiff Trying to pay for condoms With a rubber check

Details | Haiku | |

the less you have

the less you have
when you leave this world
the smaller the hole

Details | Haiku | |

Achoo Haiku

    Achoo Haiku

Cold swift river

Sneezes on the lotus shore

Take 2 aspirin

Details | Haiku | |


.   .      .    . . .      . . .   .  

gravity pulls old age down should one have a lift? or botox?
-copyright- ………………CONTEST…………………….. Dr. Ram’s Quinzaine By: nette on claud

Details | Haiku | |

D Haiku

I love this brown ale so much
In a glass so clear
Newcastle, you are the one

Details | Haiku | |

rare occurrence

at stop light
rare occurrence
plates in sequence

Details | Haiku | |

Vengence Is Mine

Rotten tomato
Vine sabataged by turtle.   
Turtle soup for lunch!   

Details | Haiku | |

Esha's Haiku

Esha's Haiku

by Ayesha Karim

fork knife spoon

fruit salad bread bowl

soup entrée dessert
(Assume I am at a dinner or at IHOP)

Asking the server for the check.

Details | Haiku | |

Green's Payment on Tuesday (Haiku)

Monday's child eats beans,

Tuesday's child is full of Greens,

Green's payments of spinach.

Details | Haiku | |

Gertrude Stein

not not
do do
Gertrude Stein

Details | Haiku | |



 My two-timing lover 
if only he were here 
the music mocks tonight 

Details | Haiku | |

Short Stuff

You can short yourself
You can keep shorting yourself!
You can make it short...

Details | Haiku | |

Last Minute Halloween Costume

Last Minute Halloween Costume
Toilet paper wraps;
Costs less to dress as mummy,
Mom thinks it’s funny!

Details | Haiku | |

Disaster Preparedness

an aphid on a
leaf.  hold on with all your might!
a storm is coming!

Details | Haiku | |

Packing meat

Viscera exposed
Fumes and entrails released.
Yes, I smell bull***t!

Details | Haiku | |

Turning 40

oh no here it comes
that big barrel that big gun
i will not go yet

Details | Haiku | |


Avocado green
Emerald grass green are too
I'm green with envy

Details | Haiku | |

Y-DUH , Captcha Haiku

blank mind blonde moment silent
world spin round right round

Details | Haiku | |

who let the dogs out

who let the dogs out
not me, it was cold, raining, windy..
lightning flash turning  

I opened the door for 
Ashley and Princess 
and they beat me back 
to their bed..

Just for fun..

Haiku_not really

Details | Haiku | |

North Pole Divorce Club

Snow everywhere
once joined, now melting apart
causing much distress.

Santa got divorced and also got fixed
too many little Santa's running around because of his tricks
  Santa liked the women.
  Too many little guys were swimmin'  ;)
Now we all know how Santa got his kicks!

Santa slept around and ate too much grubb
His wife finding out made him join the North Pole Divorce Club!

*For PD's Divorce Club contest.

Details | Haiku | |

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! I loathe sleepless nights!!

Eyes itchy, open
Red and heavy. Limbs like weights.
Insommnia stinks...

Details | Haiku | |


Admit one tonight
So he may howl and dream
Full Moon approaches

©david byrne june ‘12

Details | Haiku | |

dog haiku

dog breaks wind in sleep awakens and sniffs the air then bolts from the room
dedicated to dogs and dog lovers (the funny side)

Details | Haiku | |

the dentist

the dentist 
discussing my treatment - - 
his bottom plate moves

Details | Haiku | |

A green case

weirdest facial scan
cucumber wearing glasses 
with something in green 

her pince-nez was found
closed green glasses case the nose
reason for vague views

the harsh green a guide 
now a much more clearer view
spectacles in sight

©Ellie Daphne

I saw a weird picture of filled desk with a pair of glasses on a green eye-glasses-case: 
it looked like a face..........
A kind of exercise in 'thinking outisde the box' and writing a poem about it
using the haiku-form. 
By the book it isn't a haiku - I know -may I call this  a fun(ny)- Haiku.

Details | Haiku | |

Flower Child

psychedelic drugs
population explosion
making love, not war

Details | Haiku | |

What Does The Fox Say

Megan Fox speeds off
On her motorbike, she mounts
what does the fox say?


Details | Haiku | |

An Odd Shaped Heart


                                                         Swan and Gander touch
                                            Heads construct an odd shaped heart
                                                        Love the strangest thing

Details | Haiku | |


Creator creates then—BIG bang! creators destroy

Details | Haiku | |


                                              A Puppy dances 		
                                          its body and tail along 		
                                         Demands master's love		

Details | Haiku | |



It took three whole days
for Jack to build a snowman;
he's as tall and strong


They are thrilled and scream..
playing in the deep, fresh snow;
they cannot their mom 


Heart, take a quick look: 
isn't winter's glittering snow 
so mysterious?

Details | Haiku | |

my dirty little stones in a pouch

my dirty little stones in a pouch
received in a hotel one night
slid them under my pillow
dreamt sweetly
opened the pouch in the morning after breakfast

saw dirty little stones
wondered what they could be
went to smith the jeweller
sat on the couch as i waited for him to wash them
came to me holding something glittery

it was diamonds
i jumped up and down
told him he could sell them on a black market
take his share
i locked them in my safe at home

would you like to hear more
before i do that
i have to go and testify at the hague
diamonds are forever and you too should have them

Details | Haiku | |

Beautiful Hair

T-shirt smells like sweat
dirty pants
holes in socks
stinking boots
wash beautiful hair

Details | Haiku | |

Just For Fun

Can't think of anything right now that will rhyme,
So i am just going to write for the heck of it. 
Sorry for nothing interesting today, 
I actually have nothing to say at all, sorry readers.

Details | Haiku | |


arrogance !! don't let your brains go to your head

Details | Haiku | |

U.S.S. Styrofoam

They snickered and laughed
As you set sail on your raft
It seems you are daft

Details | Haiku | |

Your Going Down

<                           beneath waterfall
                        let your troubles wash away ... 
                             cesspool is waiting

Entry For John Freeman's
The Precept Natures Haiku
G.L. All

Details | Haiku | |



bovine strike over
price of milk is coming down
contented,  cows graze

too late for robert –
sign warns of carnivore plants -
red chlorophyll burps

Details | Haiku | |

Me Versus The 4th Grader

Monsoon yet to come -------> Me
If it has come, I will die!!! --------> Audrey - 4th grader 
Poor little smell goat ---------> Me

Author Note:
I found out her verse is really innocent, peppy and a bit clueless, but still look hilarious though, so I decide to post it. She becomes addicted in Haiku since I asked her to battle with me after our lesson time was over. :p

*After the Haiku finished:

Me: Why Monsoon could make you die? (wondering)
Audrey: Because I cannot swim. (with innocent face)
Me: I thought you were afraid to shower by the rain, just like goats (she pouts)

Details | Haiku | |

The Black Sheep

We had a black sheep
He used to follow us to school
He was such a fan!

Details | Haiku | |


Up and down for fun They abuse her filthy face Little Tramp Eileen

Details | Haiku | |


  Many frogs abide
     My prince charming do i seek
         Heartache in-between

Details | Haiku | |

The Big Stare Down

Winter morning walk Buster, head on bed, glaring Oh good, you are up

Details | Haiku | |


Zugzwang zugzwang zu
Trying to write a haiku
Just a chess player.

Details | Haiku | |


one leg in the stirrup
swing the other leg over the top
ride off into the sunset

Details | Haiku | |

The taste of darkness

chocolate temptations
sweetest darkness  of the world
melting the dark  gold 
©Ellie Daphne van Stralen 2012 

maybe not a haiku by 'the book"
but the shape is so challenging
a concept so intense and brief
for me: it is fascinating  
and giving it a maybe
unexpected twist ............

It was fun writing and finishing.

Ellie Daphne 

Details | Haiku | |

Funny Haiku's from Captain Mike

I don't know what to think about Haiku's. Haiku!

it's kinda like a sneeze
haiku kinda sounds like hah chooo
so then ka-zunn-tite!

She's giving me a back rub Haiku!

I need to fart bad
if I do she won't rub me
jeeze I shat my self  

The Divine Plan of Nature Haiku!

just for the butt hole
turds are tapered on the ends
so it don't slam shut

The One and Only Law Needed for the World to get Along! Haiku!

Everyone is free
so long as they don't take that
right from someone else

by Capt Mike

Details | Haiku | |

Twinkies No More

No creamy Twinkies Hostess is not the mostess I grabbed a Ding Dong

Details | Haiku | |

Lamb Chop went to the Barber

emerald green pasture
sheep graze contentedly
sporting fresh hair cuts

Details | Haiku | |

Cry Me A River

at the mouth of cave
aqua insurgent brushstrokes
cry me a river

Details | Haiku | |


                                            Enjoys by hearing
                                   legs,fingers and body dance
                                               own music is on

Written by: bldevnath
September: 17th 2011

Details | Haiku | |

Clock Poetry

Time ticks and could trick
Could go places unnoticed 
It can kick and trip

Details | Haiku | |

Bath Time

Ducky, are you here?
To splish and splash in the bath
Can't go without you

Details | Haiku | |


I want to make love
like they should in the movies:
Carpet burn tramp stamps

Details | Haiku | |


The frog jump on me due to shock i scream out loud and i laugh after

Details | Haiku | |

Pointless Laughter

this is pointless laughter. Ha

Details | Haiku | |

New Years Resolution

cramped closet brims full

with wardrobe for slimmer me....

grimly sorts, toss, ....mopes !

For Tracie's "Ghetto Haiku New Years Resolution"

Details | Haiku | |


Wish you lose all teeth.
One tooth let remain with you
To feel that tooth pain.

Details | Haiku | |

Two Worlds Colliding

repubs and Dems collide
November's final leaves hold tight--
hanging chads

Written by The Gamehen for Russell Sivey's Two Worlds Contest

Details | Haiku | |

Creative Procrastination

Surplus Kirby’s dance
Computer screens digest your time
And spit out Kirby’s.

This girl next to me
Likes writing concrete poems
(I am wasting time).

Reds turn slowly blue
Leaves disintegrate to snow
Fall turns to winter.

Details | Haiku | |

Sticky Notes

All of the colors Placed throughout my desk and room Words which to cypher

Details | Haiku | |


.....Tam-tams in jungle
Play for Hippopotami
That dance and tangle.

Details | Haiku | |

The bell tale

The Bell's testicle
Frenchkissed its thighs with passion
A groan of pleasure.

Details | Haiku | |

Time for a Change

Too young to be wise
to be bald and beautiful
the bones of my fate

San Bernardino
is no special melting pot
to die from bordom

I climb up a tree
for perspective to see Spring
You chop down the tree

Bodies float in sky
you thought it was the rapture
heart attact from joy

Bought a new Capre
and found a carp in my Ford
time for a real change

Details | Haiku | |

NFL Golden Child Injured

Finished before start Colts fans leap from Bandwagon Peyton Manning's hurt

Details | Haiku | |

Turn Around Quickly

While you face the past
 Your ass faces the future.
 Turn around quickly!

 ©Larisa Rzhepishevsk

Details | Haiku | |


Nimbus’ pets unleashed:
listen as pitter patters
alter purrs and barks.

Details | Haiku | |

patience #30 angel card

not a natural 
has to be thought out and planned
who has time for that!?!?!?

Details | Haiku | |


My favourite bard
I will not disguise.” Velvet
bums he patronized.”

Copyright 1993
Harry J Horsman 1993

Details | Haiku | |

halloween haiku 2

wolves howl at the moon
while witches fly high through night
candy i collect

Details | Haiku | |

under the rainbow

mid-day: I spot a
rainbow smiling from afar--
damn, I need that gold!

Details | Haiku | |


where are my glasses? aha! at last I found you sitting on my nose

Details | Haiku | |

Play Misty For Me

clouds abotomy
cut with a sheer percission
play misty for me

Details | Haiku | |

Duck eggs for breakfast

Crack, push, wriggle, peck,
Wet duckling appears by night -

Easter breakfast runs

Details | Haiku | |

My Phone

Oh old mobile phone
Thanks for fixing my toilet
Now scared to touch you

Details | Haiku | |

Harvest Perch

Man in the moon is
Fishing for seasonal fish
From the harvest perch

(My grandson who lives with me said that he saw a man fish in Raul's "Reflections" picture.)

Details | Haiku | |

Glub Splutter

I’m so annoyed
I’ve lost my swimming goggles
They’re down here somewhere

Details | Haiku | |

The Power of the ON Switch

Darkness all around me
Until I turn the lights on
Now it's very bright

Details | Haiku | |

the ceiling burst

the debt ceiling talk
led to so much tension that 
the room's ceiling burst

Details | Haiku | |

awaiting visual

awaiting visual 
color bursts across the night
red and gold glorious

For the Fireworks contest in the Haiku form.
Written for Deborha Guzzi

Details | Haiku | |

Which day is it anyway?

Holidays which fall
during the week just confuse.
Today is which day?  

written the day after Canada Day.  Fell on Thursday this year, logic informs me today is 
Friday however my mind is not convinced; could be Saturday or Sunday even, feels that way 
to me:)

Details | Haiku | |


A suffocation
Poor poetry drowns me out
Most of it my own

Details | Haiku | |

The pair of sparrows

A pair of sparrows 
Looks at the mirror and plays
With their reflections!

Details | Haiku | |

Monday Morning

With a single breath
a smile the planets aligned
for Monday morning

Details | Haiku | |

sugar plumpling

“sugar plumpling”
dieting again—
no chocolate hearts

© February 14, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Details | Haiku | |

Make Fun

Laughs at his own jokes,
Makes fun of everyone,
Can't laugh at himself.

Details | Haiku | |

capitalized now

                                                    capitalized now
                                     three crows sit Georgia  pine...pow

Just for fun!..Ha!
Contest:Haiku Me Some Nature
Sponsor: Constance La France
Written by: Sara Kendrick
Click on "About This Poem"

Details | Haiku | |


                                                   ten fingers' magic
                                           cat's silhouette in deem light 
                                               rats get heavy threat

Details | Haiku | |

i just can't win

i just can't win this
i guess i'll just throw in towel
so someone else wins!

Details | Haiku | |

Sweet Love O' Mine

I bought a burger yesterday
It was very dry like the seagull bay
I pilled a lot of ketchup on it
and still dry it remained
I was very dissappointed
as i look at the dry damned thing
I ran to the toilet
and let out a HUGE
As chunks of the dry burger fell out of my pie hole
Landing into the toilet
Making dookie plop noizes
I'm done

Details | Haiku | |

Bird Feeder

he hammers away
seeking sustenance
hungry woodpecker

Details | Haiku | |

The tree frogs

I caught two tree frogs;
They jumped into our flour can
From the paper box!

Details | Haiku | |

Rufous Hummingbird

rufous bird
hides in the camellia
avoiding raindrops

written to happily announce their colorful return to my feeder- hoping warmer weather will follow soon!

Details | Haiku | |

My Mom Is One Tough Cookie

deep in the forest
collapsed limbs fungus rockbeds
natures own fury

Tribute To Nature
Even If She Is Mean LOL

Details | Haiku | |

Questionku 14

Humming a tune
Stuck inside my head
What's the name of the song?

My Questionku contest is almost half full. Now is the time to enter. 
Well done to all the entrants so far! You are making the judging process 
very difficult. It is so nice to see the Questionku is catching on.

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'fickle me'

each year the same tale be a little less fickle one day is one day
©151220111800 *will have to see if this works in 2012* ;)

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Follow the yellow

brick road.  Eyes will lead the soul.

Never cross its path.

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(TRIPLE HAIKU in fact...)

Awww...cats are so cute!
Rubbing against my 2 legs

I head to my room
They watch me like a shepherd
My sheep follow me!

My little buddy
Follows me into bathroom 
Hope she turns her head

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Neapolitan Solution

I could never choose After some serious thought Flavor trifecta!

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night appearing slug

                                                  night appearing slug
                                           slimey creature on cat's plate..
                                                    one drop jelly left

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foodku 1

corn kernels applaud
over a circle of flames
metal mushroom bloom

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Listening well,
But all I hear is:
Blah blah blah blah

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Three blackish bogus faeces

 I stretched back my neck;
Three blackish bogus faeces
Remains adamant.

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                                                        If you give
                                            they can't take and chew
                                                    fence for cows 

                                                    they can taste
                                                  if you don't give it
                                                     fence for cows

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Koolaid Kisses

                              Long koolaid kisses
                          Red cherry lips frozen sweet
                        A smiling embrace

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Polite Fish

Garden pond, Koi play cats paw strokes water surface fish respond, wave back

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chicken fry

come on already
long line of hungry people
waiting for their meal

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Denmark then depart,
Norway next Sweden,
Finish in Finland.

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you have elf like ears

you look ready for christmas

just add a red hat

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Crepe Myrtle

hot pink wig blowing 
in the wind around thick limbs
razor smooth barkless

For Linda Marie's contest

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Mark Twain Cover Up

In Hannibal Town Tom Sawyer Conspiracy Can you say White Wash?

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                                                        loving vibration
                                               media of hand set makes

                                                   until response there
                                            gives miss call after miss call
                                                      if no reply....ugh

For contest: in show me the Funny

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                                                    Sir prize me
                                                    I am a baby
                                                   sweet darling

For contest: Sponsored by PD

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Haiku Musical

Donald O’Conner 
And Gene Kelly are out
Singing in the rain

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her large eyes

her large eyes above mounds of accoutrement reading haiku

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Cat And Mouse Game

Cat types words all day
Mouse cleverly wipes away
It's a cat/mouse game

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earthworm ancient one

earthworm ancient one wears pants up under his arms.. karote black belt

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acting is  a job
something you don't get paid
you do it so well

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!               Gathering clouds, then;
             rain. a pool! a puddle! a torrent! 
              then, an  almighty splash

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an apple a day
will keep the doctor away
til you hurt yourself

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One Third Haiku

The louder she laughed

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The Raindrop Race

Watch the little drop,
Racing across the window,
Will it win first place?

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Tea Time

Smoke swirls, kettle cries
Tea is poured, and guests arrive
It is quite boring

Tea is hot, mouth burns
Cry out in pain, and eyes turn
How I hate tea~time

My tongue, sore and tight
Mother says to be polite
That I've not been taught 

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haiku 10

the frog sits
beside the cat's water bowl--
a jay swoops

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                                                 lonely moon light night
                                              in the sky clouds passing by 
                                                   heart to block air in

                                                  perhaps life will end
                                           sweetest is under sleepwalk
                                                  coming towards me

                                                    My concentration
                                              in dream too not to miss
                                                 I want her sweet kiss

                                                                                                                                                For contest in: Craig cornish

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                                             It was hot summer 
                                        sweating body bathing like
                                           time was at mid night

                                              I was on my bed
                                   inverter had not been charged
                                             load shed going on

                                          mosquitoes sweet song
                                            sticking on to my flesh
                                         sucking my red liquid blood

                                        one's sent next one came
                                      my tut song by clapping slaps 
                                       no sleep whole night gone

Sponsored by: Roy Jerden

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haikus are easy 
but sometimes they dont make sense 

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Scottie is a cat,
But Darryl is a dog,
They play fight all day.

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Will you leave before my beauty and youth do

Come... we are wet clothes 
clung to bodies clung to storm
where the rain falls up.

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Ha Ha xD

My tamahawk kills
You all better hide from me
Just kidding, i suck

(this is a Haiku about Call Of Duty: Black OPS)

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My Monsoon Hairdos

Attempting to smooth and comb my hair 
My fist shatters the mirror-- splintered and bear
It shows how much I despise my hairdos

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Ya gotta love them.
Huge, wild, extinct, Flintstone's bus....

Rex was his last name.
He disappeared all the same....
Ice age was to blame!!

Triceratops too.
And if he ever said boo...
Would scare even you!!!

*For SKAT's "Dinosaurs" contest

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Haiku 02

frozen on the ground...
ice skaters by the door

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Manneken Pis

Little boy in myth
Standing pee on his wee wee
Glass of beer for free

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Beyond My Reach

get the ladder
there are cobwebs in the corners
just beyond my reach

Written for the Cobwebs and Dust Contest
Theme: cobwebs and dust
Date written 03/12/12

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Haikus About God: VII

Non-existent God
Subject of poor poetry
Just like this one. Damn.

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A Taste Of Honey

Coffee is coffee,
Honey surprise cinnamon,
Delightful at best.

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Exotic Dancers

little monkey face                                                                                                        little Dragon Monkeys sway                                                                                    they’re dancing orchids                  *                                                                         *                                                                                                                                                               Note -Flowers Imitating Monkeys--Dracula simian, and Orchis simia

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Slippery Floor Oo

Drip… Drip… Drip… Don’t let the water drip on the floor or you will Slip… Slip… Slip… Drip… Strip… Drip… Don’t let the water run or someone will Trip… Trip… Trip…

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I, playing as a robot
Her defender , friend.
But I to love  her, stranger.

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Ripe Muscadines


                                     Ambrosial essence
                                 To the eyes nose palate...
                                 Deers jump six foot fence

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Mime Rhyme

A Mime make a rhyme
Sure a Mime can make a rhyme
But who would hear it

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my bicycle

my first set of wheels
fringed out handle bars with horn
little red bicycle

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Holiday Company

In-laws have pulled up Honey, out-laws are here Hide key to liquor

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Treating Nerves

Went to treat my nerves
Will come back in the morning
Drunk tender horny

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Modern Haiku

There were two loud thumps
at the back sliding glass door.
God plays Angry Birds?

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While doing sit-ups,
My big, arrogant brother stomps on my feet
“That burns my feet, bro!!”

While in recital, My oldest brother motions to stop clapping …My hands are red, bro…

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Worms in Dirt ~ (Haikus)

Dirty worms squirming
Excavating with instinct
Wiggle brown wormy ~

Shoveling thick dirt
Accidently cut a worm
It wiggles in pain         

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He'd Live Forever

He'd live forever,
But one day he woke a ghost,
He had spook too soon.

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Cat fish

here fishy fishy                                                                                                          
bangle hunts the bottom catch                                                                                   
seriously though

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                                                 drink a glass of milk
                                             creamy moon on upper lip
                                                 see in looking glass

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A Dog's Walk

around and around
nose firmly down on the ground
finally he squats

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that balloon

that balloon won't fly 'twas said but its tether broke... freedom it possessed

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easter is coming 
filled eggs,jelly beans, and more
chocolate bunnies

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Mindless fb chat

How are you doing?
I'm fine how are you doing?
I'm fine how are you?

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Lonely Love

There was a boy named Chew Too Who. He fell in love with a girl named Sue. He gave her a flower, But it was too sour. She fell in love with someone new.

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county fair

cotton candy hands
home-made sugar waffles too
i love all fair food!

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Duck Haiku

floating undisturbed,

upon the tranquil waters:

bread, declined by ducks 

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Tortellini Tunes

Why have my guitar
strings turned into spaghetti?
What a saucy mess.

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Electric Auto

The new Nissan Leaf Bold Electrifying Car This is quite a shock!

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Blue Russian

fill glass with some ice -
add vodka coffee liqueur -
now splash on the blue

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Comedy Club Slapstick

tripwire with spiked barbs 
two trite puns joined at the hip
slapstick jabs that bruise

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Forget our never
Know the truth of our present
Hold to our future

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I Spy

It's pouring outside,
I spy with my little eye,
Something with an R

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left behind

riding time has come
Billy has rode a thousand
leaving Brad behind

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Retched scent en fuego
Wet bac-te-ria infested
Flatus monkey poop

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You Don't Phase Me

dogs come cats go
just like moon waxing
Don't let it phase you

Tribute To Moon Waxing LOL

Also Don't Forget To
Turn Those Clocks Back

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SWAN SONG a spring haiku


black ice fools
swans’ midnight landing
feathers slide

winds laughter
tickles newborn twigs
raven’s smirk

Victoria Anderson-Throop

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Fussy Baby

Baby cries, Dad sleeps soundly Selective hearing? Do you think?
In honor of Dr. Ram Mehta's "Quinzaine" contest

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                                             one's up other down
                                        red pink grey colored petals
                                         two small bows' mouth lips

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Tyrant Haiku

The clock's time is off.
Like a capricious tyrant,
my cell is bothered.

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Adopted Swan

Lone swan on the lake
Surrounded by Mallard Ducks
Hatched by their mother

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heady perfumes rise
sweet gardenia scents the air
helplessly I sneeze

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I'll Help Save Earth

Humans say "Go Green"
How much greener can I get
 A Wind Turbine, soon

Inspired by Raul's Contest " Caterpillar's Gait "

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Writer's Market

Read "Writer's Market"
For tips on getting started
Check your library

(See also: "Poet's Market" © Writer's Digest Books)

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shatters darkness
revealing all
sunglasses please

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Optimistic Daffodils

a forgotten pail
optimistic daffodils sprout without

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~ Haiku #10 ~

Virgin cold
shrinks capacity;
yellow snow

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lunch philly cheesesteak sandwiches.. pungent onion scent

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Butter all  hot steam                                                                                                     
Do you ever feel stuffed                                                                                                   
One up on the ham

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Daylight Savings Time


                                     The geese are in form
                       Northward bound, SPRING springs forward___
                                      Loss of sleep for man

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Don't Mess With Mom

                                                    there is no fury
                                                like a woman's fury -
                                           so don't mess with mom

Tribute To
Mother Nature

It's Not Nice 
Mother Nature   LOL

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Boy Are You Slow

look ancient creatures
marching through millennia
at slow steady pace

Tribute To Turtles  LOL

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oh boy

you are such a boy
always playing in the mud
never washing hands

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he snores

with eyes clearly shut
mouth wide open he snores loud
til kicked in the butt!

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Block Party

Bourbon street Jazz
Bared bead catchers
Mardi Gras

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Who Cut The Cheese

feline for hire
mouse at it again
cutting the cheese

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A Haiku From A Lady Friend

Canada's my home So I've known real cold before Nipples scratched my car © Jack Ellison 2015

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Armor Hotdog

bird of feather
flocks the all mighty sea shore
just for a hotdog

Tribute To
The Hotdog 
In All Of Us  LOL

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The Beach

Sandy and calming
you get to run and explore
see hot guys all day

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her hair is layered
her hair is gathered-high heir
her royalty reigns

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Hyena's showdown

tic tock a high noon                                                                                              sun is glaring with laughter                                                                                             tails dart to darkness

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you caught me off guard
i laugh out loud at your joke
trying not to pee

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Cowboy Haiku

He done stepped in
And it weren’t nothin’ too good,
Just a small road kill.

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Slow Poke

not even herdsmen
can gather all the pokee's
at the dinner bell

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Boy Is It Cloudy

a cotpit viewing
altitude eight hundred feet
cloud coverage below

Tribute To Flying High LOL

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See, When They're Around

a flea jumps across
the arm of the recliner --
athletic insect

fly tastes the surface
of the bureau -- wood's polish
must be flavorful

a garden spider
darts along the windowsill
as on in-line skates

roach peers at me from
the chair across   it's rapt --
antennae flex and twitch

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Lethargic Watchdog

Watchdog always sleeps
Doesn’t answer door; He’s a
Lethargic watchdog

Russell Sivey

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Looks are deceiving
as you sit on my petals
you are bugging me

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Jesus Haiku

Jesus, tell me what
heaven, hell, and God are like.
Like, quiz me on it.

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Old Poet

Old poets like rhyme
Young writers embrace streaming
I go with the flow

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I stole my first kiss,
was running away as I 

I’ve learned over time,
resist certain invites but

Went back to her house
thinking she was a good time
but I’ll never know.

Her mama was there.
Instead of coming, I went!
Haven’t been back since.

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There's No Place Like Home

the great sand bubbler
watches incoming ribbed tide
from burrows back home

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What's my poem going to be about?

About what should I write?
What words should I chose today?
I just do not know

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Love Hurts

                   Love hurts like;
               porky pines needles, of 
                    A cactus bush... Ouch!!!
                                     That hurts.
     Stop poking me...

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Feeding Frenzy~

innocent victim
jumping to swallow the bait~
I scrape away scales

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Prowls on patrol,
Buffy The Vampire Slayer,

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The red millipedes

When I was a kid
I touched the red millipedes
To make them look round!

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Banzai Tokyo

Banzai Tokyo
Land lashing tsunami tongue
Godzilla is home

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Dew Drop Inn

single red roses
unfurling their petals wide -
at the dew drop inn

Tribute To The

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                                               Someone's play music 
                                      takes groughs leaves hushis near by 
                                              disturbs sweet sleeping

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Second Man

the second man
stepped over
the fire ant mound

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i close my green eyes
behind eye lids it is dark
as dark as midnight

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I am first with five 
then seven in the middle 
then i end with five....

what am i? 

-samip m.

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White mouse with cheese runs
Siamese cat one-half paw
Behind, what faces

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Rain on My Parade Trilogy (Haiku/ Series)

as the cool breeze blows
rises with condensation
moving like cloud nine


condensation into clouds
magic carpet ride

like rain pouring over head
gliding to shelter

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Go Fetch

a leap of great faith
time to hit the water pool
fetching is for me

Tribute To
Man's Best Friend

My Pup {Shadow}  LOL

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Snowman Suntan

Meet Frosty Snowman.
OOPS!!!   Too much sunshine!

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Ghost Business

Car keys disappeared.
“House Ghosts” working overtime.
Are they with the socks?

© Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
January 22, 2010

Poetic form:  Haiku

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4 new senryu

4 Senryu 

Child chews on duvet
Ciggy smoke from living room
Hysterical voices.

Bedroom partitions 
Eight layers of wallpapers
History smells bad.  

Yule remembered
Christmas tree flung into snow
Police sirens laugh.

After festivities 
We sell empty booze bottles
Go see a movie.

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Gravity Frog

A frog jumps so high
So high, it jumps to the sky
Gravity pulls frog

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Birds of a feather
Do always flock together
Then crap on my car

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Stop Complaining Now

were you born that way--
complaining all of the time;
if not, stop it now

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The Hunter is the Hunted

Not entered in the contest.  Just my warped mind in overdrive!!!

You think she is fierce?
Imagine what it must be
That made her jump in!

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First Date

silken lies
blackest thoughts
~ first date

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Shadorma (Dipterous.) 

An insect
Walks on the ceiling 
A hideous 
Blue bottle 
Hope it does not lose its grip
And land in my soup 

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Ain't Skeered

     Hey cheetah cheetah
come and catch me if you can
      I'm a cheetah too!

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dirty rotten scoundrels

dirty rotten men
scoundrels robbing rich pay poor
dressing rather smug

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Nature's Games

Playing "Hide and Seek" Shadow hiding dawn till dusk Suns futile efforts

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Behind The Skunk DIsplay

polecat on front paws
a cross readdy to fire
run before discharge

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Clinging Cat

Cat clings excitedly 
To four by four support post
Dog barks nips at heels

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Christmas Haiku

Jojo loves to bake
All day cookies, pies, and cakes
What a tummy ache.

jojo7   2006

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Coke And A Smile

drink coca cola
tap bottle or in a can -
it's so refreshing

Tribute To 
Coca Cola Company

But Please 
Wash Those Cans First

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I'm Very Passionate

my bleeding heart - pumps
purple passion just for you
drip drip drip drip drip

Tribute To 
Bleeding Heart Flowers
So Dainty But Beautiful

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Gladiators ?

Two in a matchbox
Grasshopper and scorpion
and the winner is?

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Natures Gazette

In natures gazette, Colony of centipedes; Shoe salesman wanted,

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Whats Cooking

mojave desert
one hundred and one in shade
can cook egg on rock

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Crotch Hit

I’m in pain right now
Due to a crushing crotch hit
I fell to the floor

Russell Sivey

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Lazy Raven

A lazy raven,
Walks across a fast paced road,
Why does he not fly?

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Go Ahead Dump Me

                                                 beneath wooden fence
                                               clay pot amidst leaves rustle -
                                                       feeling abandon

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Cough It Up

deep in the valley
cumulus congestus skies
coughing up a storm

Also Entry For 
Raul Moreno's 
Inspiration In Haiku Contest

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Rid The Bloids

Tabloid articles
Why do they clog the conscious?
Make them go away

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Moon Shine Trilogy (Haiku Series)

fresh Moonshine
hidden jars in barn
country road


sweet corn from the field
natural grain distillation
liquid vapor flows


mountain still brewing
transforming barley and rye


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Chicks Crossing Street

Chicks Crossing Street

Orange web feet waddle:
little chicks crossing the street,
Mama Duck leads crew.

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I'm Feeling Kinda Of Crabby Today

                                                    as the low tide sets
                                           sand bubbler emerge burrow
                                                      quickly sifting grains

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Nine feet tall now
Very slim mysterious
Dark cloud covers sun

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Here Kitty Kitty

                                              etched in own minds eye
                                          white kitten raising one brow
                                                  in crouch position

Tribute To The Kitty Cats     Meowwwww   LOL

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sneaky black cat on
the back of the couch likes to
lick oil from my  hair

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Naughty Worm

The forest is damp,
The early bird gets the worm,
If the worm shows up.

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Old Man Winter

top of old smokey
covered with frost - when bow breaks
old man winter blows

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the smell of pan cakes 
burns my nose, i sniff...and sniff -
again..i keep sniffing =_=

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Champagne's Sparkling Bubbles


                                           Bengal Tiger takes plunge
                                     Creates his own champagne drink
                                            Those sparkling bubbles

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sleeping quail~
soft snores forgotten
under a blanket of Gravy

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Crocodilian Lullaby

                                    still water beckons 

                              drink deep of my reflection 

                                  danger lurks elsewhere

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Fiery Fingers

a lit Lucifer
falls from a fumbling fist
the burned oaf gawks

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Easy You Haiku

Easy you haiku,
five, seven, five, makes your length.
But words, must give thought.

("Haiku's are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense

Lol saw this on a site that sells shirts and it made me laugh! I think i want to buy it :P)

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Voltage Insulation

Black birds are clinging
Close on the electric line
Insulated feet

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hillbilly olympics

yard full of beer cans
cotton balls and human string
food,fun, drunks galore

Details | Haiku | |

Some People Definitely Aren't Naturalists

Blah blah blah nature
Blah blah blah nature blah blah
What a waste of time

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Time To Hit The Sack

winters foliage
blankets trees and grassy knolls
hibernation time

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Your Going To Get A Good Whooping

amidst raised marsh land
whooping cranes forges ahead
probing with their bills

Details | Haiku | |

The nightmare

A horrific snake
Was chasing me everywhere –
Thanks God I woke up!

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Inspired, I blaze
Over every obstacle.
Spent, I fall asleep.

Details | Haiku | |

Intricate Patterns.

Black birds in the air
Intricate patterns on fence
droppings from above.

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Snakes can have two legs
which serpent shall we all choose?
Either way, we lose!

(This is just for fun, so, please, no one get offended!)

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Fowl weather

Where to build our nest
birds of a feather confer
discussions most fowl

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They're Grrreat!

Frozen Ice Crystals
Brown dead leaves litter my yard
Nature's Frosted Flakes

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A boy watches me,
Then runs Frightened to mother,
Am i so very ugly?

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Oh Pigs Feet

Chickarrones for me,
Yankees say what oh my yuck,
Love eating pig skins.

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haiku III

hunting made easy.
Does run, Bucks stay get shot.
men know no better!

Details | Haiku | |

You Looking At Me

                                                       visitors flood park
                                            capture giraffe in marshland
                                                      looking down at them

Details | Haiku | |

Cat Chow Chow Chow

                                                       underwater pose
                                                   flounder bellies afloat free
                                                     cattails sway swiftly

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Details | Haiku | |

Summer Storm

white cane thump; thumping
he tries to outrun the rain~
I roll up my hose

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I'm Wading For You

                                                         visitors flood park
                                                 capture bear wading in den
                                                         applauses given

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Downy Motherhood

embarrassed ducklings
quack quack joylessly
mother shrilly squawks

Details | Haiku | |

Last Dance

If it fits where the 
arch less fall in step shooing
upper sinner souls

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Say Cheese

towering racoons
pose for a candid snapshot
amidst trunks skirting

Details | Haiku | |

Lo Ku

Poetic license 
Low  flight of fancy ditches
Poetic justice

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Your Nothing But A Snake

                                                  slittering reptile
                                           glides cool and so collective
                                                  amidst the rock bed

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Hey Boo Boo

                                                Hey Boo Boo Yoggie
                                          winter has come a calling
                                                   hibernation time

One Of My Favorite Cartoons

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flowers in a garden

such terrible quaint
the old,faint light hearted ways
days and nights of sex

Details | Haiku | |

Snow In Spring

Spring has now arrived,
I wait for the blooming flowers,
Yet it only snows.

Details | Haiku | |

Chasing Cats

What are you thinking
behind those big soft brown eyes?
Chasing cats again?

Details | Haiku | |

This Bud's For You

                                                          amidst garden floor
                                                        the honeybee gets busy
                                                            pollinating buds

Gotta Like A Good Buzz LOL