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Funny Winter Poems | Funny Poems About Winter

These Funny Winter poems are examples of Funny poems about Winter. These are the best examples of Funny Winter poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Quatrain | |

First Snowfall

Snow falls softly late one night In the darkness it does bask I dread the job tomorrow Shoveling will be my task Beauty is in the eyes of the viewer I see nothing but giant flakes of work The trees all have snow on this first shower Dreading the day of a job using torque The pathways are snowed over All with a reflective white I want to get to bed soon For I know tomorrow’s plight I’m mesmerized by the beautiful scene Not a thing is without some wondrous snow Even though I sure do dread the next day I will put on a great, wonderful show This time of year affects me Seems to rub off some great cheer I will find a way to smile Though there’s snow up to my rear
Russell Sivey Form Quatrain-1st, 3rd, 5th stanzas have 7 syllables, 2nd, 4th stanzas have 10 syllables

Details | Narrative | |

My Frozen Rear

This sub zero stuff may finally be over How do we survive every year It ain't civilized, it's downright barbaric This year got a frozen rear Sat down on the coals in my barbecue pit Took twenty-four hours to thaw Till finally I smelled a very strange odour Realized it was time to withdraw A Canadian dude but this is insane Even I can't handle this stuff Told Cathie, better hide all the knives Enough is bloody well enough Likely flying south with the birdies next fall Can't take another winter like this Too old and decrepit, way past my prime As I leave, I'll throw you all a big kiss This sub zero stuff may finally be over How do we survive each year!!! © Jack Ellison 2015

Details | Verse | |

Winter Begone: Ode to the squirrely

Winter Begone: Ode to the Squirrely

I found myself outside braveing Winter's bleak
Snow lay deep upon the ground--long past a week--
As more flakes christened life on this frozen creek
I saw him standing quite still, puzzled and meek

He wore a nice fur coat with snow on his crown
A powder of new flakes not yet on the ground
With a shake of his coat--one last look around
Up a tree he climbed and then looked back down

There high and aloft with no ifs ands or buts
I heard him quite clearly yell back, '"Winter Sucks!"'
But what he said next pulled my drolls from their ruts:
'"It's gonna take 'till July to thaw out my nuts!"'


* inspired by a picture from fb* ;)
for Francine's contest

Details | Haiku | |

A good winter's cleaning

What are Cabinites                                                                                                          all things you find when cleaning                                                                                      cabinet dwellers

Details | Verse | |

Another LOVELY Winter Day

The pipes are froze up
and my car won't start.
The husband's sick,
Lord bless his heart.

I slipped on the ice
and I'm in a lot of pain.
Hubby's got the trots
and the potty won't drain.

Snow's piled up 
to the windowsill.
Couldn't get to town 
to pay the electric bill.

Got blisters on my hands
chopping all the wood.
Checked out the chimney.
Got a face full of soot.

Fire was dying down
so I gave it a poke.
The flue fell shut,
now, a house full of smoke.

Opened up the window 
and the pane fell out.
Snow's coming in
and I'm plumb Tuckered out.

Hubby's got his fever
to keep him warm.
Guess I better bundle up.
Here's another snow storm.

I can hardly believe
we survived the night.
A few icicles on our butts
and a little frost bite.

Contest: Winter Poems #1
Sponsor: PD

Details | Free verse | |

Colder than How cold is it

I never want to touch one                                                                                             Do they wear brass                                                                                                       Never dug a well                                                                                                    Never sat on an iceberg                                                                                            Penguin's not touching that                                                                                              I can wait on the shovel                                                                                                Don't have an ex-wife                                                                                                    Not kissing her mother                                                                                                Ha Ha never seen lawyers with hands in their own pockets                                                I have never cut class that way                                                                                       I have never got ice cream from a cow

Details | Free verse | |

Christmas Merriment

Snowflakes falling, falling all night
My pine tree adorned, now illuminating under snow
I brush and brush off, unveiling Christmas twinkling lights
Giving the white ground a colorful glow
An appearance of a Hallmark card, I must say
My children gather around the tree in merriment 
Then one by one they form fluffy snowballs
Laughing mischievously they begin to throw them at me
Well you can guess what happens next
Yep, before I was done they are covered in white
Red face and cold we all go indoors for the night
In front of the fireplace tired, beginning to warm
We look at each other and started to grin
Deep belly-laughs replaces the grins
You can't have enough of a good thing

For Nathan's "Christmas Joy" contest

Details | Rhyme | |

Under The Ducky Moon

                                     Under The Ducky Moon

The Winter had been Harsh, Harsher than Most. Now cabin fever had taken its toll.
I was beginning to act a little bit weird, but so were others I know.
Then suddenly the sun revealed itself, its warmth was beginning to show.
Ice began to melt from the chair in my back yard, and yes it tempted me so…
And then I snapped, its true, I know, with the melting of ice and snow.
With every single drip… drip… drip… my mind began to go…

I’d been stubborn and frozen to the core on many a winter’s day.
As I had stayed by the window, while I’d typed my poems away.
I had counted every icy day… toward those beautiful blessed Spring Rays…
Then one day the temperature went from 8 to 78, and that took my breath away…
I threw off the blankets that kept me warm and I danced…a lot I say!
No matter how crazy it looked… I’d enjoy the January thaw, making hay!
It’d soon be winter again, so I ran outside and chiseled the ice from that chair.
Then in defiance I sat there as my dog slid over sheets of ice with flare.

To our neighbors we must have looked crazy, like we didn’t have a clue.
But they quickly turned back, to chiseling ice from their driveways anew.
But my dog and I continued to stay disposed quite nice.
After all there was only 4 inches of deep blue ice.
Yep, I sat there and watched as water began streaming down the street so 

I continued to sit there until I saw that the full moon had finally come out.
Then I began to wonder if perhaps we should beware of the nutty people running 
As if!!! I answered. The Full moon’s got nothing on cabin fever. No doubt!  
I continued to watch until some ducks peacefully flew across the full moon that 
At that point, I knew my choice had been absolutely truly right…
For the cold would come back, and I’d always remember my choice… 
This day would Forever be the day, when the Ducky Moon brought this story to 

Details | Rhyme | |


What would it be like if I were a tree
Just how different my life would be
Standing still for years on end
Perhaps it would drive me round the bend
Back and forth I’d sway in the breeze
Then in the winter my branches would freeze
In the autumn I would be naked and bare
But I’m just a tree so who’s going to care
I’ll attract all the birds when it turns to spring
They will sit on my branches and then start to sing
Building their houses they fly too and fro
Too bring up their young I watch how they grow
When it gets cold they’ll all fly away
The sign that its winter with a sky that is grey
Alone again not one single bird
The sound of the singing not to be heard
All the little animals have all hidden away
I’m stuck in the ground that’s where I will stay
I see the odd person who’s out for a jog
Then there are others out walking their dog
Then they will stop to let the dog pee
But why do they have to do it on me
Kids swing from my branches till they fall apart
If only they realised I do have a heart
Then there are others who give us the chop
Just to make furniture to sell in their shop
I wish I could talk then I could explain
That I do have feelings and I do feel the pain
So next time your out you’re bound to see me
Maybe you’ll realise I’m not just a tree

Details | Light Poetry | |

The First Christmas Present

A spider spun a silver web in a mound of golden straw, Then he hid himself inside the stack, away from the wind so raw. He yelled down to the sheep below Who were trying to huddle close, “It’s times like this that I wish there was a fire for a mutton roast. For winter had come upon the land and his barn was deathly cold, He wasn’t sure if he’d survive the night if the truth of it were told. He tried to dream a dream of hope to get him through the night, But he couldn’t bring himself to sleep because of a blinding light. A star was shinning down on them as if the sun in mid-day glory, The little spider had yet to learn of the coming Christmas story. Below was a ewe with her lamb both snuggled up together, Trying their best to keep warm in the cold of the winter weather. “I’d never trade places with you anyway,” the mother sheep bleated out, “Why are you so happy in your hate to lend voice to pain and doubt?” The light from heaven kept them awake and staring in wide wonder, When two weary travelers entered in and the straw became their plunder. The little spider became dislodged as a nest of straw was piled, And he could see that one of the travelers was very great with child. The three companions watched it all; they’d never seen a human being born, They were all surprised when at his birth There came the peal of an angelic horn. A herald’s call went out to all the land announcing the newborn king, And the spider and the ewe shared a laugh to think of such a thing. Because this baby was so very small and his parents were so poor, Yet there was something about this newborn child that neither could ignore. The spider looked down on the ewe and said in a voice too bold, “This baby needs to be swaddled now to keep him from the cold. Good ewe I can spin for him a cover if you’ll allow me to use your fleece.” So together they worked to swaddle the child on this night of Holy peace. The mother smiled at them all as she took the blanket for her boy, Then laid him in a manger poor and they were overcome with joy. The meaning of this wondrous event was what made them all feel glad, For they had brought the first gift to the Lord by sharing what they had. And the warmth, which they had provided the child, also kept the three of them warm, May the loving joy that they discovered keep you this Christmas morn. Merry Christmas!

Details | Rhyme | |

The Sky is Calamotastrophing

"The Sky is Calamotastrophing!"
Screamed little Jenny Lou!
And everyone panicked, running this way and that!
I just didn't know what to do!

Amidst all the commotion,
I quite calmy asked,
"What does calamotastrophing mean?"
But Jenny didn't reply back.

The sky was calamotastrophing
right on her head!
Boy I bet she wished that today
she never got out of bed!

There were huge chunks of white stuff
thumping on the ground!
I could even see a glimpse
of a spark come out of a cloud!

The sky thought it'd be funny too
if it dumped water on us as well!
And so we were drenched with water!
Jenny wasn't happy! I could tell!

"Why are you doing this?"
I yelled to the sky.
It answered back with a freezing glob of powder.

But soon, the sky stopped
calamotastrophing for good!
"I'm glad that's over!" I said aloud.
At least the word calamotastrophing I finally understood!

Details | Light Poetry | |

Santa RULES 2012 Drone Attack Iminnent

Oh winter has come today
and Ole Santa has greased up his sleigh
he no buffoon so he's packed a stuffed loon
and long john with a dreidel bouquet.

He not going to Canada cause
Chris A. writ a sourpuss clause
banning Santa's banter, his reindeers canter
and demeaning Ole Santa because????

Well, Santa is sweet and he's good
he knows he's made up and Chris should!
But apparently Chris A. has Claus envy they say
or perhaps it's what's under Santa's hood?

Oh winter has come today
and the ding dongs are out to play
so watch out Chris A., leave Santa alone!
if you must pick a fight, watch out for drones!! 

Details | Personification | |

Indian Summer

Indian Summer

The poppy said "No",
The nasturtiums said "Wait"
The seedlings were jumping at the gate;

"We have to get through Winter first,"
The old oak spoke, and everyone burst.
The pansies nodded in assent,
With a great deal of sentiment.

He looked down sadly at his girth,
Smiling wryly with perfect mirth;
"Ten more years is all I am worth".

He glanced at the herbs tenderly wilting
And spoke as though his heart were melting
"We have to be patient and wait for Spring,
And there's the catch, it's a learning thing".

"I won't make promises I can't keep
And we all know Winter will put us to sleep".

Summer will rise again, in all it's glory,
And that for now, is the end of my story.

Details | Rhyme | |

december fly

december fly buzzing by
how on earth did you survive
frozen cold outside
snow drifts waist high
how are you alive
december fly

december fly buzzing by
my naps slumber you deny
bzzz bzzz bzzz
over my head you whiz
how i wish you dead
but you wing me instead
hovering over my naps bed
december fly
why why oh why
are you still alive
nasty noisy naughty december fly

december fly buzzing by
erasing my afternoon lullaby
happily you swoosh by
dive bombing my tired eyes
waving hands, a moan and sigh
up i slouch sitting on the couch
swing a pillow at the nasty fellow
december fly now you hide
peace and quiet now reside
i know your game so coy and sly
mean so mean december fly

i place the swatter on the coffee table
i recline to rest feeling able
if he dares awaken me again
i'll swing and swat the life out of him
beware december fly
this very afternoon you die
but a yawn and pillow soft
i again nod off

the portrait of our dear aunt bernice
now has a smashed fly in her teeth
hope i clean it after i finish my rest
could be a story for our evening guest
sweet dreams and goodbye
in deep winter no longer alive
rest in pieces little december fly

Details | Free verse | |


“Guten Morgen”… or should I say “Good Morning”…
This is Punxsutawney Phil 
Hailing you from Gobblers Knob 
That’s my tiny hill!
Today, I am feeling like such a lucky ground hog…
I know that some of you may be weeping
But as for me I will soon be sleeping
Because, there’s going to be six more weeks of winter ~
You may say Phil what were you thinking! 
Well, it was kind of hard to see here
With the rain turning to snow
It’s the day after the Super Bowl
Yet, somehow my shadow it did show; 
You know I had to go,
Because, it frightened me so  
Thus, back to bed I must go to hibernate
But not before my veggie shake…
By the way, the game was just great,
This is Phil signing off…   Saying 
“Haben Sie eine gute Nacht” 
Meaning “Have a Good Night”
I’ve been up way too late!

Details | Personification | |

A Snowflake In June

I thought I saw a snowflake in June
Perhaps, it was just silly daydream imaginations
Or were ongoing investigations really do

Upon further horizon inquiries
The sun ended interviews in blushing denial
And when heavenly interrogations finished
The sky was turning guilty blue

I’m absolutely sure
The clouds were somewhere amidst the cover up
Fortunately, a little pigeon squawked
And revealed something of the simple truth

That, there was a brewing
Conspiracy of rumors, flying 
So I ruffled stoolie feathers convincingly
To spill the beans, out with his scandalous news

It seems a wintry prima donna 
Performer of the coming season
In order to beat the ratings
Broke out early and was somewhere on the loose

Could it be
The very same stitch of ice I'd seen
A snowflake thespian
Acting out in the month of June

Then, I saw a glistening 
Of arrogance pass right before my eyes
And tiny banner waved
Followed by the squeaky words “see you very soon”

I rubbed my eyes in disbelief 
And then, my tongue was quickly unleashed
As I closed the case of any further flakes
From trying to make their premature Hollywood debuts

Details | Rhyme | |

Mount Pisgah

At the foot uv Pikes Peak sprawls the old minin' town uv Cripple Creek.
They wuz nigh on fifty-thousand folks thar when minin' wuz at its peak!
Ol' Bob Womack, a cowpoke, struck gold in Poverty Gulch stakin' his claim.
'Tis said he sold out fer 500 bucks and a jug o' booze - whut a pitiful shame!

Others with more business acumen moved in and made millions off'n them hills!
Platoons uv gamblers, soiled doves and saloons wuz thar fer the miner's thrills!
They wuz even a few preachers and churches to tame them rowdy souls!
The Ladies Cultural Society strove to guide the rabble to reach more noble goals!

To the west, Mount Pisgah, bare and bleak, stood sentry over the raucous town,
Located thar is the cemetery containin' the bones uv some uv dubious renown!
But it must be said that thar is some decent souls sleepin' on that dreary hill.
Thar lonely graves are swept by the winter winds that shriek so bleak and chill!

Pearl DeVere is buried thar, 'madam' uv the classiest cribs in Cripple Creek!
She catered only to upscale gentlemen, those with clout, men uv wealthy clique!
The undertaker done her up right smart and the town turned out when she died.
They saw her off in style with a grand parade and finest hearse fer her final ride!

'Doc Susie' Anderson is also buried at Mount Pisgah and wuz the inspiration,
Fer "Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman" and is remembered with great admiration.
Saint and sinner, lawman and desperado lie side by side on that desolate hill.
Their lonely graves are swept by the winter winds that shriek so bleak and chill!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Details | Rhyme | |

Go You Say

Oh the winds,
Pounding on my hinges.
The blowing of the snow,
Motivating me to...go?

Ha, go you say so?
I think, no.

I'd rather pull my blanket over my head,
Lie in my body heat in my bed.

Cascade the world to a different bloom,
As I lie my 90 degree room.

You say we build a snowman?
I say you have gone crazy man.
Ha! I don't think so!

We have body heat for a reason,
And to betray it, like treason?
You can build a fort!
You can make an angel!

I'll lie here...In a puzzled kind of sort.
I'll lie here...With my blanket in a tangle.

Details | Rhyme | |

My Winter

So many people rave on about summer
To me this couldn’t be dumber
Winter is the time for me
A time where I feel truly comfortable and free

Winter is great sleeping weather
Either alone or embracing together
There is no season that is better
Some like it dry I like it wetter

My troubles get washed away with the rain
Swept away like the winter leaves down the drain
A time where I feel less pain
A time where I feel slightly less insane

With considerable rain comes a departure of the water restriction
One can bathe without fear of conviction 
In summer people smell and sweat
Less likely in winter because it’s cold and wet

Winter starts on the 1st of June
With the darker winter nights comes a brighter moon
The sounds of the rain and wind at night
The pound of thunder accompanied by sparks of light

When it’s cold you can put on a beanie or an extra top
If it’s hot there are only so many layers you can strip before you must stop
Winter is a time for rain, hail and snow
A time when the weeds slowly grow

In winter there are less flies, rodents and ants
In winter I can feel comfortable wearing pants
In winter termites are less active or even dormant
Good for us but for them a bad predicament

Winter is a great time for a hot drink
And an excellent time to head to the ice rink
In winter you can hug without feeling sticky
Being intimate when it is hot can be quite tricky

A drink stays cold so you don’t need to add ice
In winter you can have a hot curry with rice
In winter football is played
Birds migrate and eggs are laid

You lay beside a warm fire
And drink red wine or whatever you desire
There’s nothing finer than a warm home cooked dinner
In winter you are less concerned about being thinner

You may get a little cough or sneeze
And you may see images like these
Children playing in a puddle
A loving couple having a cuddle

Winter colours can be dark but also bright
Like when water turns to snow it appears white
The sparkling of stars at night
The fallen leaves with the wind in flight

Winter is most definitely the best of the four seasons
This has been proven with so many reasons

Details | Quintain (English) | |

A winter journal in the snow

from wintery memories hence                                                                                           letting go in the snow                                                                                                albeit did not see the fence                                                                                   just wanted to see it turn gold                                                                                           but now I can't let go

Details | Verse | |


I don't understand
Why others should grieve,
When in the summer
They're hot,
And in the winter 
They freeze.

"Twould be odd indeed
The other way round,
If in the summer
They'd freeze,
And in the winter 
Burn brown.

          Cile Beer

written l955

Details | I do not know? | |

Cold And White

Winter's the season cold and white
Those who hate it favor flight
Warmer, sunnier places in mind
But sometime monies are hard to find.

Others who love the frost and snow
Have many activities on the go
A day of sports, and evening of pleasure
Uniting to form a memory treasure.

So here's to winter and all its faults
Fresh fallen snow, skiers exult
Cold and stormy a typical day
Moonlit' rides with the horse and sleigh.

And to all of us who have what it takes,
Say "farewell" to those who need breaks
A winter of warm, a winter of cold
All balances out or so we are told.

Details | Burlesque | |

Walking In My Winter Underwear

a parody on song "Winter Wonderland"- inspired by my winter alone in an 
unheated house.

"Come away, I am threadbare
Snow is falling....
Where there' be hair..

A cold-as_sed dam_  night
It's really a fright
Walkin' in my winter underwear..

Butt-cheeks gleaming
Through the holes, near the seaming
A nasty cold a_s,
My skin is blue cast
Walkin' in my winter underwear..

In the meadow we can make a snowman
And pretend that he's an EMS
He'll say- "sonny is that really you?"
Or did someone paint you a_s blue? 

Later on, I'll perspire
When I light...
My a_s on fire....

It burns so that way
I'm happy so say
Walkin' in my winter underwear...."