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Time Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Time

These Time Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Time. These are the best examples of Time Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Couplet |

Horse From Mars

HORSE FROM MARS

It came from the sky, a gray silver stallion.
I looked up high, and I have also seen a dragon.

With so many things in this universe.
I'm on stand-by with a camera in my purse. 

Who would have known I'd be the first to spot a PEGASUS.
The town folks wave hi every time I walk my hippopotamus.

I enjoy showing everyone, my pictures of a flying horse.
I don't see why they call a DOCTOR every time I call the TASK FORCE

I think they are jealous over all the things I've seen.
They act all crazy since I sighted a LEPRECHAUN when I was fourteen.

No one ever believed me when I saw an army of dragonflies.
They have a name for me "the boy who See's too much in the skies!"

I don't know why they can't see what I see.
For all I know they are all experiments under Alien Technology.

They don't believe me how I got this magic MEDALLION.
It was a friendly gift from the silver stallion.

I also have many pictures of a  UNICORN.
We became best-friends when he gave me a piece of its magic horn.

We sat together while he drank from the lake.
We enjoyed talking, --talking about how U.F.O.'s are fake.

Why can't they see? The day I fell off a boat, I got rescued by a MERMAID!
Who would have known a mermaid swim around with first-aid.

I also remember the day I followed a LEPRECHAUNS.
We were playing under the rainbow having so much fun.

When I told my doctor about all the things I've seen.
He locked me in a DUNGEON, thinking I was the ALIEN QUEEN.

I begged and I told him I don't believe in any type of alien.
Too bad the master of this dungeon came from another region.

In a way he looks like that one SILVER STALLION from Mars.
The first creature I'd seen the day I fell off the monkey bars.

I have this picture of this horse of course.
JUST help me out of this white-jacket!!! ;-)
If you want to see the coolest picture of a flying horse. 

   ~SKAT~
       &
(A small collaboration with: B-Boy)

re-post for ~FUNNY CONTEST


Details | Light Poetry |

" Ike and Jane "- sequence 2

The name's Ike.
Some a ya might a met me before,
in my very first write,
and knew me as the stalker with the walker.
"Retired Romance" was the name,
Spoke about meetin' my wife,
She's here with me, name is Jane.
I likes ta call her the Mrs.,
cause I never thought that would happen again.
Now she like ta near smother me with kisses,
but gives me room ta write now and then.
We had us one of them honeymoons,
she says it ain't over yet.
But dang, if'n it ain't over soon,
we'll have ta call me in a vet!

Ennyways, I wanted ta give y'all a heads up
that I'll be a writin' from time to time .
We'd like ta thank y'all for the nice thumbs up,
'bout our first little Retired Romance rhyme,
and let y'all know that me and the Mrs. .. well..
.                                                  ..we doin' just fine !
.                  "Nite nite darlin."


Details | Narrative |

And The Road Begins?

Mornings are dreadful time in life unless waking beside gorgeous woman hopefully 
a not married one  husbans can be such a downer.
And when ya wake to a warm beautiful creature by your side.
And the first thought that comes to your mind is i wonder whats for breakfest.

Then ya probaly cant read the menu to start with and desserve 
to have a oversized weight lifter re arrange your ribs.

Im a southern man once means several things  non of which means im normal.
And this morning finds my yerning for a trip and widespread  mischief.
My amigo had vanished after are trip south of the boarder I remember saying 
to myself as i watched him  running naked across the dessert  being chased 
by the flying monkeys  he was surley seeing after his consumption of a foreign substance 

There goes a fine american.

I would have ran after him  but  but i didnt want thoose things to turn there attention to me 
I herd they had a thing for southern  actscents.
And theres nothing  worse than a bunch of horney flying monkeys trust me 
Ive delt with this problem  befor.

and being it was happy hour i knew my slightly insane amigo would understand 
in all his naked glory.
Besides  I left him some sneakers  and a sixpack.
And kept his credit card for safe keeping.

Naked men have no place to keep credit cards and I figured he was in no state to handle 
money.

So as i sit  behind  the wheel  ready to to get lost in the madness of fast food and
  the ant hill of insanity that is wall mart i turn my thoughts to vegas.
For where would a lost nude slightly insane person  run to and feel at home.

I had turn the music up to drown out the sound of whoever was in the trunk.
I figured if i had put sombody in there  in a drunken moment.
It had to be for a good reason.

And so with slightly hungover mindset are road begins.
and so with that do the games also.
And i figured hanging around with a cops wife wasnt the smartest idea.
That and im allergic to bullets.

My muse and 16 year old spirtiual advisor had phoned me to say that.
I probaly needed to Invest in the spirt of Jack Daniels  today.
And hey she had went to church more than once  so who was I to argue.

With a five five spitfire by the name of tinker.
so with A unknown companion in the trunk not helping my hangover i was off
to the races  Untill next time kiddies. 
Adios and im off to find my amigo.


Details | Narrative |

To All Four-legged AND Two-legged


Hello to all four-legged and two-legged friends in the big world
The people who take care of us, do not know as much as they think
We are probably smarter than they are
Take for example, that little cell phone that our people
always have with them wherever they go
What we do.....lift the foot and "send a message" to a friend
When I am out and walking with my people I get many interesting "messages"
Some "messages" are very interesting and take a little longer time to "read"
Then my people impatient, pulling and struggling the leash
What they can not understand that I must "answer" to all "messages"
Our "conversations" and "messages" are equally important
Think about it....they are also free....there is no expense
When their cell phone call or pling they take time to respond
Hello all two-legged humans our messages are just as important as yours









16.June.2012
A-L Andresen


Details | Lyric |

Yard Sale Cowboy On CD

From here to wherever, I'll follow a yard sale sign,
it's a past time endeavor, for my collective state of mind,
I may buy some furniture, or a trinket for a dime,
yard saling is a pleasure, yes, a personal hobby of mine,

Yea, I'm a yard sale cowboy, on the trail of search and find,
and it gives me great joy, to see a yard sale sign,
from here to wherever, cloudy days or sunshine,
I'm searching for that treasure, ain't no telling what I'll find,

I may find brand new things, boots, shoes, or clothes the right size,
silver and gold chains or rings, or an antique will catch my eyes,
I could find my brother a nice bass lure, or a spool of fishing line,
or maybe a nice piece of furniture, or something for a friend of mine,

Yea, I'm a yard sale cowboy, on the trail of search and find,
and it gives me great joy, to see a yard sale sign,
It's a past time endeavor, for my collective state of mind,
Yard saling is a pleasure, ain't no telling what I"ll find,

Yea, I'm a yard sale cowboy, I just spotted a yard sale sign,
searching is a pleasuree, ain't no telling what I'll find,
I may find an old bass lure, or a spool of fishing line,
now one thing is for sure, I just found my cat a ball of twine,
and look here, I found my ol' dog a bone to grind,

Yea, I'm a yard sale cowboy, on the trail of search and find,
I may find an old bass lure, or a spool of fishing line,
from here to wherever, cloudy days or sunshsine,
I'm a yard sale cowboy, on the trail of search and find,
Yea, I'm a yard sale cowboy, ain't no telling what I'll find,

Hey Bud, how much for that there what-cha-ma-call-it?
Naw Naw, Naw, that there thing-a-ma-jig, there next to that do-ma-flitchie,
Yea, Yea, that thinga-ma-jig right there.....ya say three dollars..um-m-m..OK...
I'll take it...here ya go.....and how much for that do-daddy over there?
Yea, yea, right next to those 2 onion skin tires...Uh Huh..yea..well I'll be..
Well yea..I'll take it too...it's something I just can't live without...ha ha ha..


Details | Limerick |

December 21, 2012

The world as we know it will end!
This warning the Mayans did send
But yes there's still time
After reading this rhyme
To honor Black Friday and spend


Details | Light Poetry |

The Optimistic Pessimists Resolutions

Get in shape, lose some weight. Every year it’s always the same. Read a book, stay home and cook, And I only have myself to blame. Till some land, lend a hand. You’d think that I’d be smart enough, Cards to send to a sick friend, To ignore this self-improvement stuff. Get more sleep, don’t sell cheap. But it is an annual institution, Take a class, use less gas. To make a New Year’s resolution. Eat less meat, be more discrete, Why must they always be so hard? Be more caring, try more sharing, This time of year puts me on my guard. Be more polite, sleep at night, I wish for an easy way I will confess. Work hard all day, don’t over stay, To keep the resolutions that I express. Only say what you mean today, What if I only made an easy pick? Do your best to skew the test, Then my word would surely stick. Eat more snacks, take more naps, I’ll confuse my karma and trick it. Watch TV, look out for me, This might be just the ticket. Stay up late while cheating fate, This is a New Year’s revolution, I’ll make my list then I’ll insist, That I keep this year’s resolution. And when it’s time to stay in line, But my promises I fail to keep. I’ll not hide as I backslide, As the benefits I will reap. I’ll be complete whenever I cheat, And by default I’ll do what I should. It won’t make me sad when I do bad, Because my failing will only do me good.


Details | Rhyme |

His Nose

The nose he wears sits on his head
It's big and round and very red;
And in the dark it always glows
It must be awful to own that nose.
There's two dark holes filled with hair
With whatever else that's hidden there;
Each time I see with great surprise
That glow that sits between his eyes.
It shines as though when night meets day
There never could be another way;
I wonder too if he can tell
If red affects his sense of smell. 
Perhaps the problem is I think
He's had in time too much to drink;
I suggested then to paint it white
And he seemed to think this was alright.

For Frank Herrera's Zaniest Poetry Contest
Elizabeth Wesley


Details | Light Poetry |

Its Christmas Time in Dodge City

(To the tune of Silver Bells) Wooden sidewalks, and the shop fronts, Dressed in wild western style In the jail there’s a feeling of Christmas Cattle mooing, cowboys shooting Riding mile after mile And down at the Long Branch you hear Silver spurs, silver spurs It’s Christmas time in Dodge City Jing-a-ling, saloon girls sing Soon it will be Christmas day. Mobs in street fights try to stay polite While they bleed red and scream As the towns folk rush home To take cover Hear the jaws crunch See the kids bunch It’s Matt Dillon’s big scene As he catches the rustlers you’ll hear Silver spurs, silver spurs It’s Christmas time in Dodge City Jing-a-ling, saloon girls sing Soon it will be Christmas day. Silver spurs, silver spurs Soon it will be Christmas day. Soon it will be Christmas day.
When we travel in the car we sing to the radio. The other night, Silver Bells came on and I sang Dodge City to make my wife laugh.


Details | Light Poetry |

The Christmas Paradox

Merry Christmas and all that stuff and don’t forget to write, Now if you would all be on your way I’d like a silent night. It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed your stay, I have you must believe me, I just wish that it were over now because your leaving would relieve me. I’d like to say that the magic of this day would be with me until I die, But out of respect for the holiday I feel that it would be wrong to lie. I’ve spent the time following you around and picking up after your kids, Putting food back in the refrigerator and closing up all of the lids. I’ve even picked up your smelly socks after making Christmas dinner, While you’ve all gotten fat it seems that I’ve grown that much thinner. But when next year comes you’d better be here to visit with Santa Claus, Don’t tell me that you’ll spend Christmas time over at your in-laws. Because Christmas is a family time and we all should be together, And you can tell your in-laws that you’ll be theirs on Arbor Day forever.


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