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Funny Teen Poems | Funny Poems About Teen

These Funny Teen poems are examples of Funny poems about Teen. These are the best examples of Funny Teen poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Narrative | |

Granny Panty Annie, the Tranny

Lemme tell ya' about a
*ding-bat skit-zo 
bee-hotch* tranny
named Annie...

I met her one night 
under disco lights 
up at Candies

She was 
starin' at me
grittin' her teeth
aimin' ta' see 
if I wanted a piece
of he 
OR
of she 
by way of flashin' granny panties

She was
shootin' pool
actin' a fool
so I 
took a shot
and one tiny glance 
but got caught

So I
lit up a smoke
and tried to play it off cool
but it was too late
she had pulled up a stool

She slurred,
"Hey young felluh, where ya' been all my life!"

I replied, 
"Sorry to burst yir' bubble, but I got a wife!"

"That don't matter kid, what she don't know won't hurt the girl" 
as she fisted my collar and yelled, "I'LL ROCK YIR' WORLD! Annie the Tranny is what they call me. Bet you been wanted ta' bone me since you first saw me!"

Fear and frustration danced on my face
I begged the bouncer to 
"Get this he/she outta the place!"

My pleas were to no avail, 
and that sea donkey lurked hot on my trail
flailin' it's arms and grindin' bar stools with it's tail

Speakin' of tails...
a shiny blue wale tail crept up her back
Her jeans were mean, but couldn't hold her underwear's elastic slack
but at least it beat feastin' eyes upon her crack
then she... 
wrapped her grimy hands around my neck and asked, 
"You n' me, boy, what the heck!?!"

I screamed,
"Look here lady, you seem real nice for a tranny;
but...
ya' see...
ya' need 
to hit the bricks,
you
and yir' Granny Panties!"

At that point the joint started to really heat up
people were glarin' like they really wanted me beat up
I can't recall how the hell I got out of there 
alive and free
it was like a big manly freight train
headin' dead at me

I'm pretty sure I owe the good Lord a big favor
that beast was the devil
and Jesus was my Savior!

It's a night I thought would never end... 
the night at Candies Bar n' Grill
Granny Panty Annie got a thrill 
tryin' to make me her sexy friend!!!



Copyright © JSLambert Mister ROBOTO | Year Posted 2012

Details | Footle | |

having sex - footle

buck wild
rodeo style
_______________________|
PENNED ON AUGUST 14, 2014!

Copyright © Verlena S. Walker | Year Posted 2014

Details | Sonnet | |

A Brutally Honest Valentine's

My darling enigma, my dove   
You’re the epitome of my love
Your smile shines at me pearly white      
Pale skin shines and glints in the light       
Silken locks, obsidian flow
Eyes just like ice, crystalline glow        
Peals of laughter ring like a bell            
Enchant me; I’m under your spell    
You walk with a musical flow
Tiptoeing with softness through snow

But, alas, you open your mouth
Utter tripe spilling out
If only you’d keep your mouth shut.

(Love from Anonymous) 

Copyright © Laura Hannan | Year Posted 2008

Details | Personification | |

I miss you

I miss you, 
like the sky misses the stars.
like the streets when there are no cars.
like a government that has no laws,
like music, when it is on pause.

I miss you,
like the desert misses the rain
like an addict without cocaine, 
like a kiss that misses lips
like actors without their scripts.

Copyright © Sharon De Fazio | Year Posted 2016

Details | Verse | |

Enigma's Calling

Extraordinary, I am 
Craving for unusual thoughts
Endless exploration without boundary
Understanding  the gift I shouldn't fought
 
Invisible drawings in my mind
Playing with the words in my head
My passion
The food of my soul
 
I feel so lucky
The random thoughts
A lifetime companion
A self esteem builder
A goal planner
Be my forever life saver
 
I write more
I talk less
I want to please
I chose to bore
 
What tickles me the most
Is to know what I'm for
Thinking is my love
When  my mind goes empty
That's when I hate
 
My day dreaming lust
Organizing things in my mind
Playing roles of simulation
Where images of art is my vision
And words of attitude is my heart

Copyright © Katrina Salem | Year Posted 2012

Details | Rhyme | |

Cinderella Bites Back

Cinderella Bites Back
Joanna Davis


Once upon a story; in a fairy tail
Lived a shy and lonely girl
Who's friends were Mop and Pail 
She was really quite a clever girl,
But suffered hate and spite
Until an invitation came 
And she wished with all her might

‘if only I could go to the ball,’
She cried when no one was around
Then out of a tiny hole, 
She heard  the faintest sound
'Of course you can go to the ball,
What makes you think you can't?'
'Just because that witch said no,
Doesn’t mean you shan’t!' 

'But my dress is in rags,
My feet dirty and bare, 
There's nothing in my closet
That I could really wear' 
‘Don't worry’ said the little mouse,
For I know just the thing
By the time I've finished,
You’ll have a wedding ring 

'Oh no’ said Cinderella, 
That's not what I had in mind
I was rather hoping for a career;
A chance to serve mankind
The mouse thought for a moment, 
Sized up her situation
'It’s not a wardrobe you need,
But an education'! 

So  when you read this story,
Or listen to this tale
About a sad and lonely girl,
with a mop and pail 
Remember that the dream you wish,
Or star you hope to find
Has always been there with you,
Tucked safely in your mind!

Copyright © jo davis | Year Posted 2011

Details | I do not know? | |

You

Just a few more sips
And I'm loving the taste of you on my lips

I like the way you move in my mouth
And when you start to head down south

You are the one I love in deed 
Because Coca-Cola you're all I need.

Copyright © Shaina Billy | Year Posted 2006

Details | Free verse | |

Bladder Problems in Class

Numbers on 
White board…names written hori-
zontally

Students ask
To go pee…right when class starts – 
THAT’S just wrong…

Bathroom line
Of students who have bladder
Problems – WOW!

People are
Not using lunchtime to do 
Their business 

No one knows
When to do their duties – SER-
IOUSLY?

Copyright © JW Earnings | Year Posted 2013

Details | Burlesque | |

The Elimination Method

Simple Mathematics, really.
To eliminate one component
To solve a problem quickly.


I’ll form the problem into a manageable state,
By easily eliminating an unwanted variable.
Now, just what variable to eliminate?


First, I will multiply the X by two.
That’s the first step. Done, I feel fine.
I will multiply the Y too.


Now, I add my X plus X.
My Y plus Y.
That was to make sure it checks.


Now here’s the predicament (easy my shoe!)
This is my problem,
And a real head-scratcher too!


The equation adds up nicely
And the X and Y are simplified.
But, how do I eliminate my algebra homework
Precisely? 

Copyright © Laura Meese | Year Posted 2005

Details | I do not know? | |

The break up- Footle contest

Cold stares
heart tares

Copyright © Heather Hill | Year Posted 2010

Details | Burlesque | |

Redneck FATHER'S DAY------

***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***



"Storm over yet...?"

"Well hay'ell ye'ah! 
 woo-hoo!
 sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
 whadda'bou  that boy th'er?
 sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"

"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"

"Wha'choo sayin? 
 wha'th'a?
 na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
 shoot! 
 'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm! 
 torna'durr warnin' too!
 he gonna have him'a cole burr;  
 on me!"
 my treat!
 mama, git him'a cole burr! 
 ro'tt now; 
 ya'here?
 besides...
 ta'days father's day!" 



© 2011  ~JSLambert Esquire

   









Copyright © JSLambert Mister ROBOTO | Year Posted 2011

Details | Free verse | |

My Boredom Disease

Like sick allergies, 
Boredom can be passed around
I call it: THE BOREDOM DISEASE

Like a horrid storm,
Boredom can catch you off guard
Hold on for DEAR LIFE!

Like the whooping cough,
Boredom can be serious
If I were you, I’d
Get a vaccination ! 

Copyright © JW Earnings | Year Posted 2013

Details | Epigram | |

Stuck On You

braces interlocked - told him no kissing

Copyright © Katherine Stella | Year Posted 2010

Details | Rhyme | |

Walk Of Shame

Walk Of Shame

Did you see that girl walk by?
I can tell, she got a guy
It's 9am, her hair's a mess
Sunday morning in a party dress?

Mascara run, lipstick smeared
She thought, this hour, all coasts were cleared
Oh but no, her I did see
And as she stumbled, she saw me

High heels on, cell in hand
Back to the dorms, she walked on Grand
Walk of shame, oh how you expose
The true nature of the hoes

Guys wake up to chill on their lawn
As freshmen girls grudgingly pursue on
Calling out, "Well how was your night!?"
Girls wish their walk was out of sight

I just laugh and point them out
More so notifying all via shout
"Walk of Shame, that is you!"
These young girls, they've got no clue

The ones who get it, then take off
Again next weekend, it's never enough
Get any guy, hooking up's their game,
But each time regretting the walk of shame.

You might think I judge too hard
Not giving them the innocent card
I shouldn't talk, I'm such a hypocrite
That was me yesterday morning, I will admit.

Copyright © Amy Young | Year Posted 2010

Details | Rhyme | |

The Last Day of School

Tis a lovely day for students are glad 
The last day of the school year is anything but sad
No more assignments to study nor papers to write
Students can deal with William Shakespeare at next year’s fight
Textbooks have been returned and stored away
Lockers are cleaned out with nothing to stay
The students rejoice with the last bell’s ringing
But the teachers are doing a happy dance 
And tis they who are doing all the singing!!

Copyright © Mark Goodson | Year Posted 2012

Details | Rhyme | |

Wake N' Bake

waking up and 
baking up 
before 
we hit the sun
 
in a hurry 
don't you worry
just come along
and have some fun

stop all that lookin'
at what we're cookin'
like we're crooked dudes
with guns

MANnnnn!!!
themz' brownies 
not Maui WoW-Wee
chill out
our THC days iz' done.

Copyright © JSLambert Mister ROBOTO | Year Posted 2012

Details | Rhyme | |

Show Me The Funny,part two---Tweeny's Bikini

Here's a tale I've told before
about a silly teenager.
She should have walked into a door
cos' her sense of pride was in danger.

She bought a hot pink bathing suit
with her babysitting money.
Thinking she looked pretty cute
she hoped to impress a honey.

She went to the local swimming pool
wearing this new bikini
hoping that the boys would drool
as the suit was rather teeny!

Jumping off the diving board
it happened so suddenly.
The top of the suit sailed off-oh lord!
And the "girls" were flying free!

Well she stayed in the water till time to go
then captured her top from poolside.
That girl was me I guess you know
and I had nowhere to hide!

The moral of this tale could be
pride goes before a fall.
And if you wear a teeny bikini
make sure it covers all!

Copyright © Deb Wilson | Year Posted 2013

Details | Rhyme | |

I Think My Brother's A Werewolf

I think my brother’s a werewolf!

It’s hard to believe but so true!

At dusk he is like a great beast!

He’s hairy and scary; bearded too!


He’s never around in the daytime.

He sneaks out with a creepy girl.

I have a feeling that someday,

she’ll eat his gross flesh... and then hurl!


I see red bumps on his forehead

that count the days ‘till a full moon.

I sure hope he’s not contagious!

Or I’ll be a werewolf quite soon!


Scratching his head doing homework!

Wetting his bed while he’s asleep!

These are just a few of the signs

proving that he’s a monstrous creep!


I went to my mother and told her

about my brother superbly.

Then she giggled and simply said,

“Dear, he’s going through puberty!”

Copyright © Jacob Cra | Year Posted 2012

Details | Free verse | |

Ridiculous Me

Watch this scene with both eyes and try not to blink C: --> 

I stood there... silently
Like a predator near prey 
I sneak behind YOU

You weren't even aware of it!! Ha-ha! 

I made YOU jump hIgH
Like a startled hare
I chuckle and smile

You know that mischievous smile of mine? 

Your reaction was
PRICELESS - you were so upset
But YOU forgave me

Well...I'm flattered. . . 

We laugh'd together (just like the good times)
In a chorus - our volume
Picked up extreme sound

Believe me - I could hear our laughter from a mile away!

But I'm glad I did
My best to make you giggle

Ridiculous me... 
Wouldn't you agree?

Copyright © JW Earnings | Year Posted 2013

Details | Narrative | |

Sadie Hawkins' Dance Date

Freshman year, newcomer to public school,
   my hormones were roused by Billy D. in typing class.

Sadie Hawkins’ Dance just days away;
   a chance for girls to ask boys out.

Too shy to show my interest,
   crumpled bits of paper I formed into balls,
   tossed them at the back of Billy’s head.

Unsettled, as any boy would be, he glanced back at me.

Wry smile, how could he know how my heart raced?

Leo sat next to Billy, amused by this interaction.

Because of his demeanor, it was Leo I asked to the dance.

Turned out Leo couldn’t dance,
   though conversation was no problem.

Leo spent the entire night talking about being an Eagle Scout --
   tying knots, marking trails, building campfires --
   seemed we had little in common.

No chemistry at all, but Leo said, “Thank you,” at the dance’s end.

For years I spent many days wondering
   what if I’d slipped Billy an invitation note,
   instead of lobbing paper balls?

Perhaps he would have said, “Yes.”

I might have had my first embrace;
   maybe even my first kiss.

Years later at a school reunion
   Billy looked more handsome than ever;
   served as CEO of a Fortune 500 corporation.

He introduced me to his pretty wife
   as the girl who pitched paper balls at his head.



*True story for Carol Brown’s “First Date” contest.  (Some folks were lucky to have 
more romantic first dates.  LOL)

Copyright © Carolyn Devonshire | Year Posted 2011

Details | Free verse | |

Busting my Zip

Getting ready to go to the big school
Was such a worrying thing
I heard grim tales of bullies
The teachers and the cane
And when I saw the savages
Get of the bus and fight
The worry almost drove me insane.

I remember my mother taking me 
for a new school uniform
In the Army and Navy stores
Trying on twenty uniforms
Or more.

My mother chose a blazer
Far too big for me
It looked like a parachute
And so long in went below the knee.
It would have been better a poor lad
Three times as big as me.

She said ''well, you'll grow in to it.''
Thirty years later I'm still waiting.

My trousers were so baggy
A gust of wind and I would almost fly
You could see me fly by.

When I got to school
Out of nearly 2,000 other pupils
I stuck out like a sore thumb
I was so embarrassed
Thanks to mum.


The zippier on my trousers was always bursting
Because I was so fat
I'd go to the matron
Who aid I spoke the Queens English
Give me a safety pin for my zipper
And that was the end of that.

Sometimes  the button would fly off my trousers
Suddenly and my trousers would fall down 
I had to pull them up and hold them in place
With one hand
And hold my blazer
over my crotch
You can imagine the strange looks that Got.

Yes the one who said, ''School days are the happiest days of your life''
Well
They  never went to my school, mine was Hell.








Peter Dome. Copyright.2015. May.

Copyright © Peter Dome | Year Posted 2015

Details | Rhyme | |

A witches halloween

As the slaving sun sets on a tiring day, 
the moon arrives and shines the clouded darkness away, 
little brats--i mean kids--run out to the streets, 
yelling and screaming as they run amok through the town, 
smiles on their faces; only when their delicious 
sweets are taken away, do they frown, 
doorbell to doorbell they go, 
tossing candy around to and fro, 
the hour draws near the time of the wicked witch,
Okay children, run along home, out of the darkness, 
out of every cemetery, out of every ditch, 
no one wants to be the victim of the evil, and wicked witch. 
on this All Hallows Eve, 
she calls from her grave, 
wanting to live forever, and find her immortal mister, 
but she fails every time, 
because she can't ever get rid of her annoying, 
blond-haired, dimwitted sister.

Copyright © Princess Corazon | Year Posted 2010

Details | Cinquain | |

Caza

Caza
Funny, Intelligent
Girl Charming Voice
There For The Homies
Cute, Not In That Way

Copyright © Tyrone Johnston | Year Posted 2010

Details | Rhyme | |

Who Are They Trying to Impress

Who Are They Trying to Impress?

A cross between the bride of Frankenstein
And the Dalmatians’ Cruella De Ville
See teens walking at malls; glad they’re not mine
Absurd appearances give me a chill

Parents with tattoos ride on a Harley
Leather coats and gloves cut off at knuckles
Sprung from these roots that appear so gnarly
Teens upstaging their folks give me chuckles


Written for John Freeman's Boisterous Comedy Contest

Copyright © Diane Locksley | Year Posted 2011

Details | Epigram | |

Dirk Nowitzki

Impossible to stifle
the firing of a 7 foot
German Rifle

the Heat couldn't stop Dirk
from putting
in work



Congratulations to the 2011 NBA Champions
             Dallas Mavericks

Copyright © JSLambert Mister ROBOTO | Year Posted 2011

Details | Cinquain | |

Good Night Out

Dead drunk
Partied all night
Tequila and women
Vomiting all over the place
Good night

Copyright © Sidney Hall Mad Poet | Year Posted 2010

Details | Prose Poetry | |

CHANGED MY Underwear,------- and My Name

I
change my name 
like 
underwear...
fairly often, I suppose

I 
change my clothes 
like 
area codes
and Imma' damn gypsy, ya' see

I 
keep it fresh ta' death
nada
speck of blood
or 
ketchup on my attire

I 
got more rhymes 
than I got grey hairs
and 
that's an effing lot
because i got my share

I 
digg a 
hot-fire piece of passionate verse
those are 
indeed 
rare to find

YET...
if  only poets would 
unleash the fury 
instead of 
holding back
what's really 
on their mind...

I must say...
the library, 
the internet, 
the etc. etc...
would be a less stinky place...
AND, maybe 
I'd keep my name, and sever ties with 
underwear's elastic,
and just go 
APE-Spit Spastic!~

Copyright © JSLambert Mister ROBOTO | Year Posted 2012

Details | Free verse | |

Soy Sauce Spills

Soy sauce drains 
Into the white, clustered rice
Stepped on…
spills . . . 
Soy sauce taints
The whiteness of the grain
 It slips out of my hands
No use...no point in crying out in rage
Though I was starving, 
I'll just eat another thing and start on a new page

I'm hungry like a swine
I wish I can earn back my snack!
I'm as angry as a bull
I'm about ready to attack! Attack!
Soy sauce packages
Fall unto the dirty school ground
Stepped on
By bratty, conceited teens
They really need to eat their greens
Instead of junkfood and pizza
They should drink some water
Instead of drinking sugary drinks or
 Sucking on popsicles obnoxiously
Why did the soy sauce spill? Seriously....

Copyright © JW Earnings | Year Posted 2013

Details | Limerick | |

Girl in my Class

There once was a girl in my class.
One day I tried to make a pass.
My cheek still sting,
My ears still ring,
Yet married to me; Alas!

Copyright © Nitesh Aggarwal | Year Posted 2007

Details | I do not know? | |

Cheeseburger

Wherefore art thou Cheeseburger
My stomach yearns for your greasiness
Melted cheese placed carefully onto a patty
Goodness from heaven. Oh so tasty.

The soft bread that caresses the meat
A perfect burger just waiting for me
Bliss surrounds me in a warm light
Loving every second i take another bite.

Copyright © William Hughes | Year Posted 2012