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Funny Science Poems | Funny Poems About Science

These Funny Science poems are examples of Funny poems about Science. These are the best examples of Funny Science poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Personification | |

WEIRD SCIENCE

* Weird  Science *

With pens he walks
Pocket Protectors to protect his chest
Taped up glasses on his face
Pull his pants down, call him a GEEK a NERD
Science -relativity theory and it's light speed from space
Experiment this- discover that, is how scientist rant
Brainy cats have so many open portals in their minds
You talk down to us as if we carry the brains of a bird
Do you really think we are all blind, 
for not caring over the objectives  principles of the Heisenberg?

You passed  each and ever single science fairs in class
Feeding your ego collecting dots 
After school you earned the right when a bully kicked your a$$!
A DORK calling your self the Math Magician King
Burning and crashing our minds explaining the physics of dying fast 
Using your Quantum Leap that our universe comes with a destiny string

No desire to be wired who needs your further scientific understanding
Life comes with a pattern in which we once lived electricity free
Ironically your scientific process of defining itself continues to expand
Supported by the measurements and masses only you NERDS understand
The power points of our so called energy,
is pointless to me like our so called gravity.
The tale you spin is not of love but a twisted one of insanity

God is the only scientific knowledge I want to perceive!
All you so called scientist, riding the lightning like Benjamin F.  
Take the bolt and tie it like a noose around your neck
Following your own perception while you feed off the sheep
Here you come to emerge to discipline us with your mind of a genius
You come and you bash us with NERD brain waves to explain! 
That this world revolves around the elements and laws of scientific claims

Research this- research that- who gives a cr@p we still die at the end
While life continues, to grow and manipulate our fate, about the universe
Unsolved facts about Einstein, who left his velocity of change for us to comprehend.
Instead of trying to rule the world, explain the facts why things keep getting worse?
Over exaggerating the excitement of an Ancient Mayan 2012 discovery curse.
Bottom line you scientific  quacks,
the real Celestial body is found on the bottom of my crack.

By; P.D.            ( LOL, I love Science )


Details | Limerick | |

Don't Disturb The Hive

Run, jump, scream, duck, dodge and leap 
Try to stay on your running feet 
Honey in the hive 
The bees are alive 
Run, jump, scream, don't fall and leap!


Details | Rhyme | |

The shortcomings of genius

Athletes of intellect ponder difficult questions
Cortex’s quiver to cerebral suggestions
A genius theorises with a deepening frown
Well, how come my toast always lands face down?

Quantum conundrums confoundingly dreary  
Cynical scientists dismiss a new theory
A mastermind clutches his head in distress 
Well, if a crab has no shell, is it naked or homeless?

Wisdom, the child of mental ability
Science, the offspring of cranial agility
Empirical evidence so hard to collate 
Well, why does sour cream have an expiry date?



Details | Limerick | |

Voldemort, by contrast, was vanquished easily

Changed climate is not a surprise
With drilling for gas on the rise
Where can life forms hide
From carbon dioxide
And methane let loose in the skies?

Neo-druids auger gas wells
And add fluids with sulfurous smells! 
Are poisons they've tapped
With their magic wands trapped
Evermore by sorcerous spells? 

Votes and news seem not relevant
The unrelenting elephant
In all our best rooms
Is fossil fuel's fumes
And toxins we can't circumvent 




Details | Limerick | |

"War of the Worlds" by H.G. (Hebert-Gautreaux) Wells

Martian Gumbo

One of dem Saucer land in da Bayou
Ole Boudreaux out huntin say "Jus who be you?"
Den he point him shodgun
And say "Lookee here son...
Jus found some green OKRA to seasonne my stew!"


Details | Haiku | |

Aliens at Your Bedroom Window

Don’t worry now child
There's no god, so worship space
You are not alone.


Details | Limerick | |

Cosmology vs Cosmetology

Dark matter makes scientists sweat
Their telescopes can't find it...yet
What's lost could be found
If they’d just turn around
And gaze at a sexy brunette


Details | Lyric | |

Sky Rockets In Flight, Unicorn's Delight

The origin of the unicorn begin's in
A time and habitat where we did not live in
In Another Galaxy it could have been in
Or in an unexplored magical dimension

It was a land overflowing with milk and honey
Pure and abundant was it's skillful offspring
Enchanted with a forest that lulls you to sleep
With it's down reaching hum stemming from the trees
The little creatures were cordial and could speak
The streams of life were the preachers of the peace
The fireflies dancing a mild ballet at night
Would arouse even the most dormant soul to sing 
But it was unicorns that governed the land
and so to say put everything under one's wing

A unicorn was considered the horse of the God's
It had the chiseled structure of a steeled spartan
It's horn holstered the power of a lighting rod
Sporting a mane as majestic as a mountain and
When it bucked on its hoofs the earth stood still in awe

They spent years on this planet protecting our spot
Behind the scenes in old men's wars they fought
But it was in the hidden rainbows with gold pots
Where their undisturbed and placid image was copped

Now its unfortunate we do not seem them nowadays
mainly because they did not embark on noah's ark
and all the CO-2 in the atmosphere we sprayed
means their world no longer remains and
Now their remains are just horses with no horns
and no potential to fly, so all they do is eat hay, ride and race
and when they die we just assume to make them into glue
JK! Happy Birthday!
* P.D. Unicorn Poem contest


Details | Rhyme | |

HOW DID THAT MAN GET INTO MY BED

            HOW DID THAT MAN GET INTO MY BED?
                           

                       Lord Gravity , 
                           the king of kings
                           through" hands on" science
                           Taught me things--                                                      
                           From plopping 
                                         apples on my head
                           To plopping men
                                         Upon my bed.

Victoria Anderson-Throop 2013


Details | Dodoitsu | |

Botanical Duet

doditsu

Nature knows that smell forbids.
Marigolds repel aphids.
Reflex magnet finds its match
in your berry patch.



Details | Light Poetry | |

Awe Your Full Of It

<         twenty twelve

                  What The Hell !

                                       
                         cosmic conjuction
                                       
                               What's it's Function !


                                         ecologic collapse

                                                   Only Perhaps !


                                                             galactic beings

                                                                     I've Been Seeing !


                                                                             think it's all phony
                                                                         
                                                                                      And Full Of Balony  !

Entry For Gareth James's
2012 Contest
G.L. All


                                                                                              
 
                                            

                             


Details | Verse | |

Shrodinger's Cat

My name is Fritz, Shrödinger’s Cat,
I sometimes wonder where I’m at.
Within a small world I exist;
My master, he’s a physicist
Who talks of protons, neutrons too,
Held in place with magic glue.
He’s weird and in his element
Performing this experiment.

Trapped in a box and full of strife,
I feel I’ve only half a life.
My fate decided by old Geiger,
I wish I’d been a Bengal tiger !
My feline life hangs by a thread;
In two minds if alive or dead,
I muse “To be or not to be,
That, is the real uncertainty”.


His scientific articles
On sub-atomic particles,
Ionising radiation
And his famous Wave Equation
Earned Erwin cherished Nobel Prize.
I stare at him with knowing eyes –
He’s overlooked I have nine lives –
Against the odds, the CAT survives !


Details | Rhyme | |

And Goliath Said

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Haiku | |

Big BANG

Creator creates then—BIG bang! creators destroy


Details | Limerick | |

Brontoleesaurus



I'm a long-necked Brontoleesaurus
Sometimes called great Apatosaurus
I only eat twigs and leaves
Another large salad, please?
And a steak for my friend, Segisaurus


tall brontosaurus
a museum favorite 
children gather



*Lee is my middle name

By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, March 17, 2012
For the Dinosaur Quest contest (PD)
Third place


Details | Rhyme | |

Geek Mountain

It started quite some time ago
His name was Pitfall Harry
I learned of bits and algorithms
On a 2600 Atari

And then there came Nintendo
It began my end I think
For I had to rescue Princess Zelda
As a courageous lad named Link

I peered at that screen for hours
Each puzzle, each riddle, each stage
And Gannon was no match for me
My frenzied button rage

The torch then passed to Genesis
And with it Altered Beast
Addicted to those graphics
My life outside had ceased

Compulsion soon would fade
I slowly began to bore
Then Sony created the gamers dream
To brilliant to ignore

Dazzled bye amazing play
lost for a year or two
Acting as an exercise scarecrow
And girl repellant too

So now I have no gaming system
But it seems that my PC
Is the summit of Geek Mountain
And that's where you'll find me.
-------------------------------------------
That last line written years ago
Such games are no longer fun
For Im filled with glee and happy to be
Reaquainted with the sun


Details | Rhyme | |

Mother Earth

I was told God made this marvellous place,
for the sole benefit of the human race,
although through the years it really seems,
as if this is the figment of someone's dreams,
and maybe a lot of what I've been told,
just seems to shine,but isn't gold.
Yes, I used to ask only now and then,
but nowadays it happens,again and again,
and the questions asked all revolve,
around a problem I can't solve.
How come it took him only six days,
to make the universe, for us to amaze,
and in this time to populate too,
our world with people and the rest of the zoo?
As I know for a fact, that when my dear mother,
was making my new little baby brother,
it took her about nine months or so,
before she was able to let him go,
and he could join us in this lovely place,
a shiny new addition to the human race.
So how come God could possibly do,
something like that in a second or two?
I think I'd better buy a new book,
this really does rate a really good look!


Details | Limerick | |

Chelyabinsk

A hot opportunity knocks
Buy and sell incoming space rocks
We love asteroids
But are covered by Lloyds
In case our own blocks suffer shocks


Details | Verse | |

Pink Slime

Pink Slime, Pesticides
And chicken thighs bigger than my thighs

And we wonder why there is an increase
in learning disabilities among children today 
I say it’s because the process, that the food is processed and grown and raised, is
compromised by demand, money, greed or fame. 
I do understand that demand is high 
so we have to do somethin’

So to compete, we inject hormones into the very animal or plant that is sold for consumption
So now we eat these hormones and our bodies are stressed because of the added pesticides and  herbicides and other sh#! that’s hard to digest  

I mean what’s really the cause?
There’s more kids with disabilities today than there ever was  
I say it’s because like the story is told in the verses, that knowledge is increasing in man and the result is not what He purposed. 

Pink Slime and Pesticides..We’re eating stuff that’s been chemically grown inside…and chickens bigger than my thighs


Details | Light Poetry | |

My Big Brother Is Watching You Too

"My Big Brother" up and down the street
  He could be anyone you meet
  Spying on you from the street
  Looking in from every beat
"My Big Brother" isn't that sweet

"My Big Brother" and I don't know why
  Casting in from above the sky
"My Big Brother" the commie spy
  Listening in do or die
  Bringing his book in
  Taught within
My Big Brother, 1-800-LET-US IN
  Caught with paper and a pen 
All because, "My Big Brother" let himself in


Details | Free verse | |

Love Hurts - The Symptoms

Thoughts displaced by rolling palpitations,
From left to right grow these numbing sensations,
A face which spirals down, drooping from smile to frown.

Time hibernates in this moment protracted,
Legs bow and shake to our drama just acted,
Senses into overdrive, does pain show you’re still alive?

Oxygen masks, Coxes’ rowing commands,
Heart beat machines is what love demands,
“You need time to relax”, prescriptions from Quacks,
Is love just a commonplace heart attack?


Details | Rhyme | |

Curiosity Killed The Cat

We look up in wonder at the stars,
We ponder on there being life on Mars,
And so we've sent a craft to see,
A marvellous thing called "Curiosity".
And on the surface of the big red rock,
The last of its kind looks up in shock,
As from the sky there falls a star,
Which has travelled there from afar.
Then the star begins to slow,
And the last Martian feline down below,
Stares in wonder, as a chute deploys,
Soon followed by the strangest noise,
As the thrusters ignite to stop,
The rapidity of the strange craft's drop.
And then the craft begins to lower,
A separate large object from below her,
Which lands upon the creature's head,
Leaving it squashed and very dead!
Now just how terribly ironic is that?
"Curiosity" killed the cat!


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

My Minds Eye, while looking thru a monacle

I need to find out what it all means,
so I searched for the truth in my dreams,
illusions of a shattered reality, unwoven at its seams.
All of life's cohesion, a plan or just by chance,
the gravity enabling this universal dance,
it all seems to run just like clockwork,
makes me wonder whether it might be Gods work?
So I looked through my minds eye, while I was wearing a monacle,
it really did make this world look..well, rather comical,
the distortions of vision were astronomical!
Atomic particles at a most basic level, I saw God, I fought the Devil!
The smallest atoms you can find, the Higgs Boson and strings that bind, 
I even watched as expansion hit rewind!
We're taking leaps out into space, huge accomplishment of the human race,
our solar system we've had a taste, further and deeper, how do you operate?
We'll one day finds Earth's new home, maybe under a giant dome,
or in a galactic ice cream cone? All the stardust that makes my bone.
Northern lights, just a jewel on my throne,
though science says 'it's just ozone'
have your ideas because their your own,
don't allow your mind to be overthrown,
things got hazy, or my mind got lazy,
so I took my rag and I buffed my lens,
it feels like I am bathing in pure cleanse!
Or i'm finally round the bend?
Will my head ever truly mend??
For when your balls knocked over the Wonderwall,
all kinds of delight, short or tall, await those who stumble across that garden,
you'll rub your eyes and pinch your skin, What? Hey? Pardon!
I have a sea view over all eternity, the 1000 you's, the countless me's
Life graces the universe, like a play well rehearsed,
starts with a nurse and ends in a hearse,
after the big rip, it's all in reverse!
©John-Ovan.P.Hull


Details | Sonnet | |

Topping The Star Charts

Voyager 1’s “The Sounds Of Earth”

Eleven billion miles from the sun
a record, golden when it left these parts,
a runaway hit on Voyager One,
at Ophiuchus, sure to top the charts,
will introduce Mozart to other stars,
not to mention Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode”.
The knock-offs sold in alien bazaars
will knock their socks off or at least it should
make them extend their eyestalks in surprise.
They’ll soon begin to learn to sing along
to whales recorded and the baby’s cries —
adepts might even master Earth’s birdsong.
Should Beethoven not prove to be their fave,
Then Guan PingHu’s GuQin could be their rave.


Details | Free verse | |

A Johns Poopposterous- Darwin Was Here

Went to pick a bone all I found was fossils               															 Lost within Smithsonian's flood colossal 	  															  A giant petrified dodo 																		  Just a rendering who knew																	Excretions of artistic apostle																																					~                                                                                                                                                     eyes to see pupil                                          															   arts  deception perception         																	 in lieu of subject


Details | Rhyme | |

GHOST!

A head or a tail- which does he lack
I think his forwards coming back
He shimmers through a wall as if a ghost
Looking for a better host
It seems as though he’s spotted me
My body begins to shake because of what I see
I start to run as fast as I can
Now he’s where he last saw me stand

A ghostly body floating after me
I’m scared I’m frightened of what I see
Looking back to see if it’s there
But what I see is a shiny red glare
It’s coming closer what should I do
Again I run from this scary pursue

Now I’ve run from that scary pursue
I start to think of something new
I count to three
Saying there’s no one chasing after me

Now that I’ve regained all of my confidence
I’m ready to over come this hindrance
I run left I run right
Hoping nothing will come in sight
I manage to make it out the door
Now I don’t have to witness this anymore

- Lorenzo L. Carty


Details | Sonnet | |

Theory Of Everything

Researchers assume they can trust their GUT –
that is their Grand Unified Theory.
This simple answer is close, they think, but
the resolution’s still a bit bleary.

They’ve linked electromagnetic with weak,
on their way to full unification
but, for final culmination, must seek
the gravity of the situation.

They trust they’ll find the graviton one day,
through their particle acceleration.
Without this carrier to show the way,
they’re lacking complete illumination.

And thus they hesitate to claim they know,
since, still in the dark, they may stub their TOE. 


Details | Personification | |

Are you there God its me Microsoft

My computer glared with social hate
I buried my head down
It beeped a message 
Telling me; we should really spend less time together,
I just think your making everything about me
I can't be friendly to your friends anymore
I can't keep wishing electronic happy B-days, when I don't know who the hell they are!
Tell me you hear me..... also this facebook wench! Jesus does she have to know
Everything you and me do in private
Can't we even go out on an on-line date,  
Without checking for the latest youtube sensation
I mean, since when do you even listen to OK Go?
Not only that, but you use me to steal others copyrighted material
I could go to jail and so could you,
Do you want the FBI to confiscate me from you? 
I thougt so, I just came to the conclusion that
You and me? we need to take a cyberbreak
You should try your cellphone sometimes..., I know he definately feels left out
Except when your using him to check on me! 
We're through
This is done 
I can't keep living life knowing that your using me to become sociably popular
I'm not your free ride to reality T-V fame
Get it? Got it? Good!
And if I catch you trying to tweet me in my sleep....
Well..... you don't even want to know!


Details | Light Poetry | |

Sheep Of The Apocalypse

The sundown shroud of evening fell
To settle on the city's wreck
Of buildings broke by wicked spell
Called by fate's destructive beck.

And from afar they saw the shapes
Stark, bleak against the red sunset
The ruined outlined cityscapes
Unknown misfortune met.

The country folk had little need
And rarely ventured to the smoke
But still they could not but take heed 
And wonder how those buildings broke.

So, from afar they wondered at
What strange calamity befell
The city that had been so great
But what they couldn't tell

A strange flock from the west emerged
The sunset blooded red their fleece
Had some uncanny demiurge
A flock of demon sheep released?

But, no, they were just simple sheep
That somehow seemed to be astray
Unanswered though the questions creep
To where the flock had been that day

The strangest tales are oft untold
And sealed before the tale's begun
Since they had sneaked out from the fold
What dark deeds had those sheepies done?


Details | Rhyme | |

TAG

Tag! Your it! Like in the school days.
I got your mind lost, like you were in a corn maze.
This isn't Halloween, just another day of the week.
I'm always getting candy. I say forget trick or treat.
You can forget Flasnick. People just call me Flash.
My rap game's so scary, I say hell with the mask.
Forget Jason, They call me Lil T.
Wake up it's not Freddy, it's me you see in your dreams.
I'm rated X. Noway I'm PG13.
Sisco and Ebert said not to see the damn thing.
So if you do, you better call me the king.
I'll give you six days to live. I'm more hard core then the Ring!


Details | Free verse | |

Green and Blue

Fish swam in blue waves of cotton candy
Carless gulps of salty ocean
Tails whipping through chocolate sea
Sweet as a rice crispy treat
Mindless beauties beneath the land
Squishy scales under quick sand
While dinosaurs chant for reincarnation
Butterflies flutter in several mazes
Carrying souls from eras beneath to
Timeless eras above to retreat


Details | Haiku | |

A Taste Of Honey

Coffee is coffee,
Honey surprise cinnamon,
Delightful at best.


Details | Limerick | |

Off The Scale

The young lady known simply as Bright, 
who could travel at speeds fast as light, 
said, “While I’m never late, 
I’m concerned that my weight
goes to infinite mass, though I’m slight.”


Details | Haiku | |

I'll Help Save Earth

Humans say "Go Green"
How much greener can I get
 A Wind Turbine, soon

Inspired by Raul's Contest " Caterpillar's Gait "


Details | Haiku | |

You Don't Phase Me

dogs come cats go
just like moon waxing
Don't let it phase you



Tribute To Moon Waxing LOL

Also Don't Forget To
Turn Those Clocks Back


Details | Rhyme | |

The Open Window

I’m already ahead and stirring before that fiery Sunrise appears every single morning.
I'm quickly catching up to my own waiting for the breaking of this phenomenal day.
My coffee will be in my hand right when my thoughts once again start freshly forming!
Ah, I’m feeling alive inside and I think I’ll just stay right here for each second of today.

I glide through my house to stream Sunlight in by pulling every single window shade up,
I toast this day pouring my fresh hot brew straight into my scuffed up old-timers tin cup.
It’s the open window where I see my birds on my oak tree branches singing and playing, 
I just stand at the open window licking early morning honeydew from my lips and I say,
Now this is the most outstanding way to start any God given day with this superb array!

There are just so many smelly buttercups blooming out for me to pluck them up to sup!
I’m smiling whistling and getting enthusiastic about allowing myself to get carried away,
Because I hear my happy little birdies singing their hearts out to me and they’re in tune!

Let us in! Let us in! They twitter their tweets with chirps, 
Let us in and we will sing all day long just to be near you.
Laughing and giggling at my birdies I am just tickled pink,

No way Jose!
I can’t sing! 
My silly, silly little birdies, 
Y’all know my singing stinks.

My buzzing bumbling bee hummers away driving at the winds to boot,
I holler and holler for that goofy buzzer until I’m just not giving a hoot.
So I lift my tin cup up and in my air I toast to a genuine wholeness today,

By the open window I whisper to my eternally inspirational four winds of heaven, 
Forever you may live insde my breaths majestically just as my infallible Sunrays!

® Registered: Ann Rich  2005


Details | Fibonacci | |

Prepared Fish

.
The 
God
One True
God, God of
Heaven and Earth made
And prepared a great fish to eat
Swallow Jonah whole, undigested..sick..fish threw-up
Jonah on the shore bleached white stinking to high heaven, ran preached three days 
revival


Details | Lyric | |

A Noisy Conclusion

There is no such thing as silence
And no place left to be alone.
Our communication highway has become
An inescapable irritating noise
An incessant ringing in one’s ears
No longer just the ticking of a clock
Keeping you awake.

Transmitters hum atop dead trees
Whirling buzzes from electric fans
The grinding of a dirty engine block
And neighbours building their deck
Sawing and hammering away at
Life’s necessities that aren’t really 
Necessary at all.

Sounds that you cannot hear
Are still there all around you
Riding on the waves and surfing
The air in a non-stop chatter
Giving you news, music and weather.

Even where there should be no noise 
Lurking in the dark are low electronic signals
And the sound of your clock radio
Receiving enough energy to 
Remind you its five am
And you’re still awake.

Technology continues in a plethora 
of  beepers, cell phones and laptops
Giving us no escape at all
Where even in the woods 
You can turn it all off and 
Find yourself bumping into
Someone who is also hiding
From the world in a place
You thought there was no one.

Even the last great escape won’t be -
The space program will discover
Water on Mars and send half
Of us there to get away from the noise
Only To discover the incessant hum from
planet Earth keeps them up all night.

Which brings me to one final thought -
Are we alone in the universe?

If only.


Details | Limerick | |

Holy Crap

Na- Nu Na-Nu
greetings earthlings How do you do
I'm captain Zendor from planet Sur Render 
shazbot someone crashed into my spaceship's fender
hit me so hard made me go krap-poo


Details | Free verse | |

Buoyancy

Archimedes` principle, Eureka! he said, buoyant force is same as weight.
* I know it`s funny but boredom just took over me during Physics class.


Details | Haiku | |

There's No Place Like Home

the great sand bubbler
watches incoming ribbed tide
from burrows back home


Details | I do not know? | |

"Pee-Pee Lyrics in Valentine"

Making secreted dreams
that beat the sound of excreted water
flowing with each enriched elimination
the kidneys are in movement
the physical process is in timing
moving the waste
and expelling
the urination from the necked Urethra

aka:lyricvixen ha-ha!


Details | Haiku | |

Boy Are You Slow

look ancient creatures
marching through millennia
at slow steady pace








Tribute To Turtles  LOL


Details | Rhyme | |

TEXTING pt pt pt







All around is the soft pt pt pt of text messaging
Abriviated conversations in silent offerings
On and on in secret codes the droning fills my ears
They do not realise what it is they should all fear

Evolution lurks behind each gene and chromosome
Adaptation in nature has always filled the holes
I see the coming shades of man birthed in technologies womb
Soon even the mighty pen will see its own doom

For man's fingers won't need to grasp something so cylindrical
In fact all he'll need are thumbs to pad and wax lyrical
No need for blue tooth stuck behind your ear
Once you are birthed, a microchip goes up your rear

In fact man's ears will all but fade away
Noise vibrations will be absorbed through the thumbs one day
All of man will dwindle down into just two thumbs
To pt pt pt on a pad to converse with everyone

Our eyes will become squinty slits to better see the screens
With zoom in lenses that pop out to better see the scenes
No movie theatres, cable, sattelite or Net Flix
It all streams to the pads grown into our wrists
With a turn of the cuff and a gentle flick
Our two thumbs pt pt pt to call up a menu list

See a show, text a friend, order pizza in
Which might be a problem, cause of the state our mouths are in
Years of non use, or over use by some
Has caused it to shrivel up as a prune from a plum

Just large enough to stick out our tongues
at the very thought that once we thought we had won
But give nature a chance to over take new science
and the pt pt pt we hear all day will be mankinds silence


For the contest,  Talkin' Technology
Sponsored by Natalie Fllikkema
Placement: 5th




Details | Burlesque | |

The Search For Intelligent Life In the Universe

MIghty radar arrays,
Pointed at the sky,
Looking for intelligence,
Don't ask me why...

Incredibly strong telescopes,
On earth and in deep space,
Peering ever so eagerly,
To find another race....

Makes one wonder,
How many up there..
Are pointed down at us??
Apparently so far
We have not created a fuss...

I wonder from where they
are based,
On planets far or near? 
Either way I guess it
don't matter...
Because no intelligent
beings, here, there are.


Details | Couplet | |

Money

With muse in hand
How do I make one understand

I love colors of shaded green
Does not make me nasty or mean

For it's in our lakes
And even in things that we bake

It 's canvass for our trees
Even sometimes stains on our knees

There's hues of bladed grass
Where we have all plop our ass

Even passing clouds
Looking purified and aloud

So here I'll stand and raise a toast
To the color green on money who everyone loves the most





















Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Techno Boy

Sing: Techno Boy! Techno Boy! Techno Boy!
He only creates and doesn’t destroy!
Here comes the super-truper Techno Boy!

Sing: Techno Boy! Techno Boy! Techno Boy!
All gadgets and sci-fi things are his toy!
Here comes the super-truper Techno Boy!

Sing: Techno Boy! Techno Boy! Techno Boy!
The smiley face who gives people only joy! 
Here comes the super-truper Techno Boy!


Details | Free verse | |

charming and calming plugs

When silence knock the door
After all fights to be calmed
Plugged my ear to hear music
Pray to my dark deafness.

Survival of basic skills 
Become a necessity as breath.
Plugged to calm to unbearable one.
What the music accomplish 
In hands of capital gain.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Higher Dimensions

From point to line to plane to sphere
there’s only three dimensions here,
and each dimension has a name
that we can easily proclaim.

If we would further interact,
we must devise the tesseract -- 
a cube that turns its outsides in,
spinning in imagination --
and thus we have dimension four  --
the future and what came before.

Three of space and one of time,
our theory’s still short of sublime.
We have to make this leap again 
to five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten ...,
but they’re curled up so very small
they’ve not been given names at all.


Details | Free verse | |

Bee's

{bee's}

the dancing machines
please stay away from everyone's knees
you very nasty

{bee's}

Please please please
stay away from especially
my knees you very nasty 
and honorable theives

{bee's}

so please fly off to those daisies
for these these these are the only way I want it to

{ bee's }





Little Song Jenny And I came Up When She Was 4 LOL 
Thanks All For Stopping

Also Entry For Matt Caliri's Contest
Funnest-hardest Poem Ever


Details | Imagism | |

The Other Side Of The Moon

...






                                                      Spaceship trips


                                                 In the literature it says


Details | Sonnet | |

Sicilian Sonnet On Reinforced Concrete

I am a piece of reinforced concrete,
I can withstand a lot of punishment.
I am frequently used to make pavement,
Since I can absorb the impact of feet.

My bones are parallel prestrained steel rods,
Placed along my body to add more strength.
Steel becomes stiffer when you stretch its length,
And my flesh mixed of ground rock and dirt clods.

In modern times I have many a niche,
Into any shape I am pourable.
I serve the needs of the poor and the rich,
Being strong, versatile, and durable.
Bridge, foundation, and irrigation ditch;
For any project I am feasible.


Details | Haiku | |

Cough It Up

deep in the valley
cumulus congestus skies
coughing up a storm



Also Entry For 
Raul Moreno's 
Inspiration In Haiku Contest


Details | List | |

How to Build a Spacecraft

How to Build a Spacecraft

First, consider:
1.	The purpose for building the craft. 
2.	Mission goals 
3.	Comfort (while traveling through space… the staff.)
4.	Technical matters.
5.	The project plan.
6.	Research results.
7.	Anything and everything else.
8.	Make decisions
    
(Decisions.  Decisions.  Ideas refine.
Then, draw several spacecraft designs.
Before construction, contemplate time.)

9.	Ask questions.
10.	State facts.
11.	Evaluate.

(How long will it take to get to a star?
Or over to visit the near planet mars?
The edge of the universe is way to far!)

12.	Finish fact-finding.
13.	Formulate the time-line.
14.	Begin drawing a model 

(When you decide which Spacecraft to build,
Plan and develop; you will be thrilled.
Make a miniature model…with paper… skilled.)

15.	Cut out the paper parts.
16.	Assemble the paper parts (using glue)
17.	Evaluate the design.
18.	Upon approval, make a phone call!

To: N.A.S.A.  Let the experts build the real thing, baby!

19.	Your work has only just begun.
20.	Consult through lift-off!

© Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
    January 2, 2010


Details | Free verse | |

Little green men

On Saturday morning
A friend told me about this vague theory
And sedated me with his bizarre mind
And then, he said….

What are you trying to hide?
The existence of extraterrestrial 
The universe is too wide for us to live on your own
Take a look around you
Are you sure they aren’t living next to you
How can you decline such an ancient concept?
The pragmatists are refusing to believe
But science/fiction is trying to encourage it
They want you to believe
They want you to observe
Little green men, 
Flying around in their little UFO
Trying to take abductees
So don’t even trying to hide
They’ll know you’re hiding under your bed
Or locking yourself inside the closet
When it’s already your time
They’ll take you to another dimension
Uses your memories to learn about the earth
To learn how to feel, how to life like a human being
Little green men will start to breed on earth
So what are you trying to protect?
You’re trying to hide the truth
You become more heartless than the little green men
People with collars, people with money, people with power
Spreading the propaganda, establish their own conspiracy 
Using their technology for self ambitions
Construct their own experiment over living things 
Little green men,
Flying around in their little UFO
Observing the conspiracy of some dirty rats
Next aims will be them
They’ll catch them and lock them 
Swirling their brains, explore their inhuman emotion
Little green men
The belief of the unbelievable

All I can do is to look into his face
Listening to every word he said
And trying to process the things I’ve just heard
And said….”What the hell is going on with you?”


Details | Rhyme | |

Let's Duke It Out

I was born in nineteen sixty nine
just off the block and in my prime
now let me introduce you to 
some pertty good friends of mine

Let's start with my uncle Jesse
to me he looks like he's ninety nine
but I love to watch him when he
takes nips from his moonshine 

Here's my owners Bo and Luke 
cousins of a kind just hanging out
with Daisy who looks 
so sweet and so darn fine

But There's some other folks
that just don't like our kind
its those sheriff folks thats
watching the hazzard county line

Starting with their fearless leader Boss Hogg
Who's radioing all the frigging time to
Cooter and Davenport And to that rascal
Rosco P Coltrane who he cannot find

Now my life is such sweet devine
when your jumping in and out of my windows 
while running from those sheriffs from Georgia County line
in my general lee waving a confederate flag thats in it's prime
Honking my horn to a dixie tune of same kind



Tribute To The Dukes Of Hazzard LOL


Also Entry For
Christopher Higgin's 
Get Your Rebel On!


Tho This Poem Is Not About A Person 
Changing My Life But The Time Era Did
And Something About That Show Changed Me
About Opening Your Heart And Home To All


Details | Free verse | |

No God

If I could spill my soul
onto the floor or a skillet
let my heartbeat liquid 
and spell out a creation song

I would yell, yell, yelp!
Yelp, about my unfolding self
and just how magnificent
I have become because Jesus

Christ, Krishna, Muhammad,
told me something beautiful
and that fragile bubble
which protected me, myself

burst into reality and me
just I may not my self and I
crumble to the science
of no God without proof.

POOF!


Dean Walker


Details | Free verse | |

THE LINE

THE LINE

The Line 
There is something to be said for hunger 
A man gets stuck in line 
Becoming number 
Just living for the blessed TRAY of food 
Oh wonderfull food the institution gives to me 
But this is murder of the mind of a creator 
A poet and even a murder yes oh yes a murder 
Notice that eye said so very carefully not a MURDERER 
But eye said a murder 
A murder can be a flock of crows on a tall phone line 
Or a poet left behind 
Eye bet that not even one of the readers of this rhyme 
Even expected me to say that 
Oh ewe where was eye at? 
THE line oh yes the line 
 A man doing a little dance 
A tattoo of the prance 
Waiting just to eat 
He was giving it a beat 
A little rhythum with his legs bent 
Just bending at the knee 
And then a little up and down 
What’s up with that 
It made me wonder what was wrong with him 
The confederate in charge told me 
“That’s slim” 
He does that when he’s waiting in the line 
Just waiting in the line for food again 
He LIKES to eat 
HE likes THE LINE. 


Details | Couplet | |

THEORIES

THEORIES



I know  that many   models  mathematical,          
And  Chaos  Theory,   Big Bang,   and others several,
Render   long-term prediction impossible in general,
And solutions to problems  at best  temporal.
But the same is true of women menstrual, 
And my  teen’s  bedroom   full of  random particles.
Lorenz and Poincare and others of that set
Could have saved themselves a lot of brain sweat:
My daughter needs no theory, her chaos is practical;
Big Bang is when my son falls and ends in hospital.


Details | Burlesque | |

Quantum Mechanics

I have a troublesome car
always something to deal with
makes me wanna go to a bar

I have around here
a handy auto service station
it should only be next-door!
cause when it comes to repairs,
I always need some more

now the station has an odd name
it's named Quantum Auto Repair
you might think this sounds lame
but if you really don't care,
I'll go on just the same,

Jim and Mike are the mechanics
that try to keep me on the road
I'm sure you know what's comin' next,
you hardly need be told....

yes they're Quantum Mechanics,
so slick with truck or car
they can fix about anything
you know how some people are

but last time I was there
I stumbled upon a book
that laid on their worktable
I had to have a look!!

sure, enough, Steven Hawking's
physics treatise
how could they follow this??
even with my lengthy schooling
this was something I would miss

I guess it goes to show you,
don't judge on cover-alls
'cause you might be surprised
on where the truth falls!!


Details | Haiku | |

This Bud's For You

                                                          amidst garden floor
                                                        the honeybee gets busy
                                                            pollinating buds










Gotta Like A Good Buzz LOL


Details | I do not know? | |

PALEONGOLLYGEE

I don't recall the dinosaur--
I can't remember back  that far.
Such periods, my goodness gracious!
They were Jurassic and Cretaceous.
                                           
And, speaking pterodactily,
Winged reptiles don't appeal to me.
But I must render due respect
To old tyrannosaurus rex.                     
                                                           
Of stegosaur and brontosaurus: 
They were extinct, some years before us.  
Their Mesozoic days are gone;
Now paleontologists dig their bones.     


Details | Burlesque | |

Wormholes

Watching all these science shows
Astronomy and such,
Lots of complicated concepts,
That I don't understand too much,

One that really struck me,
Wormholes in space and time,
Can lead to anywhere,
And really ring this Bell's chime

Just my luck,
I stumbled upon one,
In my hallway closet
Can't say that it was fun
Like having money to deposit

Seems my luck,
Grew sour,
Like rotted fruit,
Cause on the appointed hour,
I found my future was a' dapple
Here I was, tom bell,
A worm inside an apple!


Details | Lyric | |

I Don't Need It!

I’m at my wit’s end
The molecular formulas
the electron configurations
are killing all sensations of living that I ever had
A seemingly unbeatable force
backed by that foe from the East
as he manipulates and propagates this vicious cycle of ill-instruction
in which he tests the knowledge of that which is never taught
I find myself caught in this trap
I’m wrestling with pages of notes
all while in desperate need of a nap
Why do I need to know how oxygen bonds to carbon
in order to diagnose an illness?
Or in order to tell if a bone is broken or not?
I don’t!
That’s just it!
All of this mindless, structural knowledge, I don’t need it!
Once I’m in the true school of higher-learning,
where I’ll get the real tools to future success
I’ll forget it all
in order to learn what I really need to know
so that I may help my fellow man