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Funny Romantic Poems | Funny Poems About Romantic

These Funny Romantic poems are examples of Funny poems about Romantic. These are the best examples of Funny Romantic poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Rhyme | |

A FROG NAMED RIBBIT

I once had a frog named Ribbit
I was headed to school he croaked, "skip it"
I thought this is insane 
When my frog called me by name
I tried to tell others but they wouldn't hear it

So I went to a psychic to get advice
My frog interrupted and ask her real nice
Will I have happiness or sorrow
What will happen on the morrow
Show us that you're worth the high price

She said, Oh I see you with a beautiful lass
She'll be checking out your shiny green a--
Her eyes will be glued to you
Yeah, she can't wait to tear into you
You'll be on pins and needles in her Biology class

Contest: Carol's "Animal Alive"
Date:7-24-14


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

The birds

The birds! The birds!

Uncountable the subject pronoun words
give tongue to humbleness, henceforth to speak;
contributing to poetry for birds,
our inspiration nested on their beak!

He's watching leaping sparrows eating bread,
while on his terrace sips green Ceylon chai;
it seems to him that poetry has fled,
and gone with the banditos, bidding "byee".

Alas! The birds have taught us all we know,
encyclopedic, scientific, art...
Cause he would not be 'mong ya apropos,
if poetry was meant to be more smart:

{ Thy Tristan I shall be, divine Izolde;
thus, like a bird of valor, debonair,
I'll fly to thee, because I have been told,
that someday I'll become a billionaire.

Among the birds, oh maid, I picture thee
abducted by banditos (or eloped?)
thus I, compose my poetry to be
reminder of the corns that have not popped.

And thus, envisioning, thy magic curves,
I'll be a triumphant filibustier,
my self-igniting foolish verse, and oeuvres,
will reach (oh, dolly bird) thy round derriere.

And then, if not for other, thus, demand,
my manuscripts will serve a strident cause,
vociferous upon the meadowland,
by the banditos will receive applause. }
 
© 02-18-2014, G. Venetopoulos
(Iambic Pentameter)
G.V.


Details | Rhyme | |

Count Dracula


It was a time ov thirst, crepuscle zearchin, 
the Count in dark, becharmed her every secret zeal; 
vatever aappened to his favoroured virzzin? 
Vatever aappened to his crimson meal? 
..............

My bite I'll hold to thine exquisite neck, 
(In Transylvania I'm vaiting, auspicious maid) , 
vas told that virzzins vaporized from earth, 
and so evil vampires will stay thirsty, I'm afraid.

My Castle, I assert, vill vait for thee, 
It is embarrassing for Counts to dine on food, 
meanvile red should be drunk like rare chablis, 
vilt thou, fair maid, succumb to my persisting mood? 

Hast thou ever heard of my night delights? 
Thou vilt dine on rare meat vile listening to tunes from the abyss, 
I'll beguile your thoughts under candle lights, 
and then (enraptured nymph), thou shalt receive my kiss.

Thou shalt be my companion to dark doom, 
Teetotal I became due to the lack of virzzins, 
it is more evident ven your perfume, 
enthralls my Dracula stimulated senses.

I'll bend on your rest, vile you'll be asleep, 
vere bats from caves have fled around the room before, 
like from a fresh rose your red I shall reap, 
and in crepuscular twilight ve, shall soar.

© 01-26-2013, G. V., All Rights Reserved


Details | Light Poetry | |

I Need a Nurse

I need a nurse, dressed in white
With all the lace and sexy trimmings
My heart is throbbing
In loveless pain
Without my nurse I will go insane

She may caress my woes away
When the rooms all quiet
I will whisper please stay
Hop on the bed and fill my dreams so pious

In the dresser there, you will find the whipped cream
As your uniform slowly drifts to the floor
I shall star at white lace and demand so much more
Mouth to mouth, yes save my soul

Kiss my hopes and make me full
Dreams of a nurse so naughty and pure
Surely shall make a man smile with delight
So kiss me now on the lips

Before you endeavor on your grand trip

Into my heart


--------------
Continuation for Tim


Wake up! wake up! WAKE up!!!,   oh   uhhhh hi Dan





Details | Sonnet | |

Karate Chicken

The girls in vain tried his sad soul to sweeten;
(why art thou laughing at his blackened eye?)
Malign and radioactive chicken,
you never loved or watered his bonsai!

Thou spaced-out sill maiden of delusion,
and frivolous, counterfeit struthio,
thy cackling leave gave tongue to contusion,
eloped with Foghorn Leghorn unto Rio.

Beloved of his aphotic thought's wit,
deserted cot due to thine abandon,
dawns sullen, chickenless, dolour permit,
- old taken snaps of you with his Canon.

Incomprehensible, soulless chicken
His saddened eye is karate stricken.

© 03-23-2013, G. V., All Rights Reserved


Details | Free verse | |

Cheese monster

I remember 
dancing for joy 
Sitting on an open shelf 
This beautiful maiden 
Strolls into the shop 
As my eyes whistled 
She picked me up 

Holding me in her hands 
Smiling down at me 
Excited 
Oh I love 
Words had trembling effect 
with this cheese 

Taking me home 
You took a little bite 
A little taste
Nibbling 
Out of me 
Lips softly grin
bursts in flavour 
Almost cheesy 
Licking delicious 

Opening a door 
You placed me 
on top shelf 
Felt like royalty 
Lights out wow 

The last face 
I remembered 
Ever so beautiful 
Weeks pass 
Feeling almost 
out of date 
Left in the dark 

A smell started 
in fungus hair 
Taking over 
almost septic 
Crawling green 
in mildew 

Beautiful maiden 
Awaiting you in dreams 
You open the door 
Squealing out 
Monsters 
in the fridge 

All I done 
was shout cheese 
Smile darling 
I am 
all yours 
Sweet love 

Thrown in a bag 
Broken hearted 
with the rubbish 
Shouting 
That's me done 
With cheese 

It was so sad 
The green hairy 
old monster 
Began crying 
Now smile 
for cheese 

As you will not like 
To see the ugly side 
Of the green 
hairy old 
Cheese monster


Details | I do not know? | |

Valentine's Day

so, the frenzied hunt is on,
for that perfect gift,
that unique something,
for that special someone.

Heart-shaped chocolates,
diverse species of stuffed animals,
gold and silver anklets,
carefully trimmed bouquets,
painstakingly worded cards,
gift vouchers, moonlit dinners,
cruises, picnics, breakfasts in bed.

Gosh, I’ve got to run,
I’ve just thought of exactly,

exactly what my cat will love…


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.


Details | Couplet | |

Valentine Romance

Valentines day is always something special to me, I explained. 
So I planned a romantic evening and got ready for my campaign.
The children were at a sleepover with their favorite friends they adore.
So I met my hubby as he came in, accidentally tripping and making him hit the door.
Thank God his head is hard as he hit that, the nearby TV, but very little more.
I made Cherries Jubilee as a snack while he sat there with an ice pack to his head. 
But before I knew it, I’d knocked it over and almost burned down the house instead.
When he finally put the fire extinguisher away…
I got up and got some of the kids’ apple tarts I had made. 
He bit in deep and burned his mouth, declaring he wasn’t hungry and the pain would fade.
Next he decided to go upstairs, but I had put rose petals down everywhere in spades.
And yes you probably guessed it… he slipped and ended up needing a little aide.
At this he decided to take an aspirin and lay down upon the couch. OH  HHWell…
But I knew the rest needed to happen above, to totally create this romantic spell…
I had to get him to the candles and bubble bath, where my romantic dreams still dwelled. 
So I got out some scarves and danced toward him, tying up his hands before he fell.
He never knew what hit him as he was lassoed and gently bounced up the stairs.
I guess I wouldn’t have had to tie his feet… a few words would have done as well.
But you know me when I get going, my mind tends to lose a few brain cells…
He was flustered, exhausted and bruised when he got there, but he’s made of the right stuff.
Though as I took off the scarves, he flopped on the bed pulling the covers over his head kind of rough.
He said he loved me, but living with me could be kind of tough.
He said it was better to leave it to him, for the romantic endeavors and such.
He said he had reservations and play tickets in his shirt pocket for later on that night.
But what he needed now was some aspirin and a few moments of quiet respite. 
So with a sigh he started snoring, and my romantic dreams were momentarily crushed.
I dearly love the man you know. But, do you think maybe I tried too much?


Details | Rhyme | |

Feb 14

chocolate hearts and candies in boxes
play their part in having me nauseous 
passion a project for the masses 
roses in package, romance the passage
red, white and pink, fed right in the link
bed time in sync, just what you think
that one day out of three sixty five
your partner should get recognized
consumption used to fortify
love thatll last the rest of our lives
trickier than lovers that are porcupines
a sort of lie, could put a hole in your heart
bigger than a quarters size
beyond the balloons, heart strings in the loom
the only thoughts i consume, 
is i need a sun with my moon


Details | Free verse | |

Love Hurts - The Symptoms

Thoughts displaced by rolling palpitations,
From left to right grow these numbing sensations,
A face which spirals down, drooping from smile to frown.

Time hibernates in this moment protracted,
Legs bow and shake to our drama just acted,
Senses into overdrive, does pain show you’re still alive?

Oxygen masks, Coxes’ rowing commands,
Heart beat machines is what love demands,
“You need time to relax”, prescriptions from Quacks,
Is love just a commonplace heart attack?


Details | I do not know? | |

Illegitimi non Carborundum

Illegitimi non carborundum ;-)


...Staggering, my vision cloudy,


I fall to the hard ground.


when life’s sharp left-jab leaves my face bloody,


and all that surrounds me, is the desolation of loss I feel all around.



I see myself slipping,

down the abyss to where nothingness exists,


still, I cling on, groping for a foothold,

for my will to stay persists.



I clamber up, I stand my ground, though battered and bruised I may be,


my curtain is not falling yet, I have some fight still left in me.



It is then, in the pit of despair, when all seems bleak and painful and dull,


I summon the strength from deep within,


I rise, slowly, to face the day,


I refuse to sink,

to wallow, to surrender, to throw in the towel,


to drown,


for I am stronger now,


indeed I am, after all the years, and all the battles,


I stand, bruised and bloody,


still,


I stand,


I refuse, to sink, to drown,


for they can try, to punish me some more,


but I shall not allow them to grind me down…


;-)


Details | Blank verse | |

Virile thoughts

All men want freedom
To dream with their eyes wide open
During midday
So they can reach the sun
With just one nail
And take the whole universe
In their palms


Well, all men need respect
Even if
They find it funny
To show any emotion
Public or private


Oh, who said they wouldn't like
To love or to be loved
To admit they're defeated
By the eyes of their beloved women
Looking at them as to gods


Details | Light Poetry | |

Big Love Part 2

He decided that the only way to get to her
was to take a little stroll,
It gave him time to work on his line
and he wanted to sound droll.

He decided that the line he’d use
when he came to her island there,
“I hear that they call you Lady Liberty
so I’ve come to take my share.”

In his mind it sounded like something
that James Bond would say to a girl,
The more he thought about it though
the more it sounded like Milton Berle.

He decided that he’d just have to be himself
and hope that it would turn out for the best,
He hadn’t been this nervous since
the last time he had to take an algebra test.

You see, he wanted to take a chance on love
because he was a romantic guy,
And what he wanted more than anything else
was at least a chance to try.

When you’re one hundred and thirty feet tall
you have limited options for a date,
So you have to take your swings when you’re up to bat
if you want to find a mate.

He tried to buy a ticket to Staten Island
but they’d have none of that,
But the ferry captain was a romantic too
and told him to be careful where he sat.

He looked across the water to where she stood
and he could see that she was tinted green,
He thought that she was probably the most
beautiful shade of green he’d ever seen.