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Funny Pets Poems | Funny Poems About Pets

These Funny Pets poems are examples of Funny poems about Pets. These are the best examples of Funny Pets poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Rhyme | |

My Puppy

My puppy sure loves to lick me
He thinks I’m a lollypop.
Every time I get home he attacks me
Then kisses me nonstop.

You’d think I was gone forever
When I just left the house for the mail,
He is right at the door when I get back
With a rapidly wiggling tail.

He wants to eat everything I do,
Mom says, that’s not good for a dog.
We want to keep him fit and healthy
So daily we go for a jog.

My toys are all tattered and ragged
My socks are his ultimate aim,
Doesn’t matter how much it upsets us
He thinks it’s all some kind of game.

I know he’s a bit of a stinker
That always wants to be fed.
But I sure am in love with my puppy,
Every night when we cuddle in bed.

Written by Brenda Meier-Hans

Copyright © Brenda Meier-Hans

Details | Alliteration | |

Lucky at Home

You’d think a dog named Lucky,
Would lead a decent life.
But Lucky had his troubles,
And they followed day and night.

One day Lucky ran away
In search of greener pastures.
Just to find a field ablaze,
Thus the start of his disasters.

Although Lucky didn’t die that day
And no limbs or parts were broken,
Lucky smelled of smoldered hair
And you’d swear he kept on smokin!

And Lucky liked to chase the cars,
Till the day he lost his nerve
When Lucky met a big ‘ol bus
That couldn’t stop or swerve.

I’m not sure just how it hit him
Or how he’s here today.
But he’s never walked straight since,
And one eye veers away.

My Lucky always clashed with cats
And was leery of their paws.
Until a “Tom” of forty pounds
Let Lucky feel his jaws.

Hair and fur balls filled the air
Like Cottonwoods a bloomin.
Poor ‘ol Lucky lost an ear,
And now looks twice as stupid.

I confess, I named him wrong
And why he stays, I’ll never know.
I guess that I’m the lucky one,
To have Lucky here at home.

Copyright © Tom Valles

Details | Rhyme | |

A Cat With A Knack

I have a cat 
A real fat cat
My cat is all black 
My black fat cat 
It is a cat with a knack
A true fact about my cat
My fat black cat 
She has a knack to catch a rat
My all black cat brought me the rat 
This is why my cat is a fat black cat
So rats watch your back 
From  my cat with the knack
Or you will become a snack for my fat black cat

Copyright © colleen laforme

Details | Alliteration | |


Lounging licking leaping
Prancing pouncing peeking
Corners closets crouching
Tail twirling twitching
Sniffing sensing sneezing
Hissing huffing hunting
Pretty purring preening
Curiosity kitty killing
Nine long lives living

Copyright © Rick Zablocki

Details | Cinquain | |

My Bed's Just Here For The Cat

Hairy nuisance
Sprawling over bedsheets
Crowding limited sleepspace with

Copyright © William Masonis

Details | Personification | |


I've been shoved out in the back yard, A bit ruff, don't you agree? It's not that I've disgraced myself, No,It's because SHE caught a flea! Don't know what all the fuss is about, I mean they don't bother me. Any way I need the exercise, It's a great way to have a good scratch. Those crafty little blighters They get right under my thatch. I like to chase 'em out To see how many I can catch. I grabs 'em and bites 'em And has my bit of fun. When they see these gnashers,grrr, You should see them try to hop and run. Oh! there's one,oh! there's one, Oh! there's another one. He-llo!what's going on here then? Aaarghh! that stuffs awful,smells really bad. Oy, watch where you're spraying! If you don't mind,I still want'a be a dad! Sometimes these humans just don't care. They drive me barking mad. Howoooo, I'm fed up with all this palaver I can't stand all this strife--. Hang on-time to be 'mummies darling'. Here comes his soppy wife. The things you have to do to make them happy. It really is a dog's life!
Palaver-fuss or bother

Copyright © SYLVIA Coulstock

Details | Rhyme | |

Lost Words

Sometimes I catch them easily,
The words I'm reaching for;
At other times watch helplessly
As they crash to the floor.
I try to reassemble but
They've landed in a jumble.
I grab too fast for floaters and
My chair and I both tumble.

Susie thinks it is hilarious
And joins into the fun.
Before she hears my "stop", she has
Already swallowed one.
I am truly very sorry
There are no poems from me.
You will know why when I tell you
My dog ate my poetry.

Won 3rd place

Copyright © Joyce Johnson

Details | Quatrain | |

Wet but Wiser

A dog! A panic in a pagoda!
Rex sneaked in with a can of cream soda,
he shook it up hard and then pulled the tab.
But Rex was too slow for their choc'late lab.

Cain: a maniac, the brown dog's head swelled,
confused by the fizz but a rat he had smelled.
He was a god's dog, ergo, a ogre -
mighty fine watchdog, well-trained at Kroger.

Schooled in their stockroom with all kinds of nuts
whose tricks won ribbons for all kinds of mutts.
Cain's radar kicked in, went straight for the can
and turned it on Rex who lost his game plan.

On the way out, he offered some Kleenex.
No one's the wiser, except maybe Rex.
Recording the facts, Cain writes in his log,
Was it a rat I saw? or Am I a dog?

6 palindromes:
A dog, a panic in a pagoda
Cain, a maniac
god's dog
ergo, a orgre
Was it a rat I saw


Copyright © Reason A. Poteet

Details | Limerick | |

Barky Von Schnauzer

At the risk of being called “rabble-rouser,”
I think poor old Barky Von Schnauzer,
should practice his aim,
his master to maim,
in the back end of his very best trousers!

My hero I would call dear old Barky,
if he could just muster the stealth of a sharky,
and covertly steer,
right straight for the rear,
of that great big old bag of malarkey!

I think I should send Barky a big four leaf clover,
so his bad luck would finally be over,
he could retire his fame,
move away, change his name,
to Bowser maybe Lassie or Rover!

Obviously I have been driven completely insane by that stupid t.v. commercial!
Happy St. Paddy's Day!

Copyright © Shelly Berkeley

Details | Limerick | |


There once was a hunter named Frawley
Who lived in a shack, outside Raleigh.
His dog, funny but true,
Would only hunt honeydew.
The dog was a true melon collie.                                               

Copyright © William Robinson

Details | Personification | |

Oliver Thinks

"Why," thought the cat,
"can I see through the glass,
but when I try to go through it,
it won't let me pass?"

"There are bugs out there,"
the cat thought to himself,
"yet to them, I'm as dull as
a book on a shelf!"

The cat shook his head,
"This is really too much!
There's two squirrels in the yard
and a bird in the brush."

"How much fun it would be,"
with a mew he announced,
"to hunt and to stalk and then
gracefully pounce."

"Why, I'd shake them until
their necks were broke!
Maybe then," mused the cat,
"I'd be more than a joke."

"They'd be amazed by my prowess,"
he thought with a sigh,
"I'd torture them slowly and
they'd wonder why,"

"they never realized that
I was a threat,
while completely ignoring me
like I was their pet."

"I'd show them," he growled
as he laid on the sill,
"with them in my tummy,
I'd savor the kill."

"They'd show some respect,"
he thought with a yawn,
"I'd shown them who's king
of this yard and this lawn."

Head full of adventure,
he fell fast asleep,
safe in his house,
with plenty to eat.

Copyright © Danielle White

Details | Rhyme | |

Magical Tail

Princess is a Chihuahua
With a magical tail
It has secretly lured her
And has her under its spell

Now she wears a collar
Made of white plastic oh so fine
Now her tail walks behind her
And she has nearly lost her mind

She now has figured how 
To twist and turn  wow
She gets that magical lure
Poor tail how can it endure

Ah! A thought came to me
Turn the collar into a skirt
Now she can't her tail hurt
Cute Ballerina dog be

Copyright © Sara Kendrick

Details | Quatrain | |

Mice For A Very Good Price

I opened the door,
Saw two nice mice,
At Pete's Pet Store;
For a very good price.

I bought them that day,
With money I had saved,
Raking and hauling hay;
For my neighbor, Mr. Dave.

I purchased a bowl,
Just for their food,
And a bottle with a hole;
For drinking water through.

I named one Ice,
He had clear blue eyes,
The other, I named Spice;
He was the smallest in size.

Ice would take small bites,
Of cheese and treats of rice,
Spice made noise at night;
Munching bread - I had sliced.

I'll never forget the day,
Mom said, "Look Price!"
And lying in their hay;
Were two bald baby mice.

Copyright © Carol B Tyre

Details | Light Poetry | |

Olfactory Overload

It was a sultry summer eve
When what did my nostrils breathe?
Methane with a touch of green grass
Permeating across the room
Look to the right and look to the left
I swear that weaner giggled with a smile...
As I threw her out the door.

Copyright © Doris Culverhouse

Details | I do not know? | |


If you are plagued with dragons in your basement,
And you have tried, without success, to drive them out.
If you need advice and dragon information,
That's what this short discourse is all about.
Now, you can't depend on pest exterminators,
Unless, perhaps, you call Saint George himself,
And pied pipers are of very little value,
As all dragons are notoriously tone deaf.
Since the riddance of house dragons is a hassle
That you might not be prepared to suffer through,
You  might find compromise and coexistence
Is the sensiblest thing that you can do.
The rumor that all dragons are ferocious,
Is a rumor we could not substantiate.
As to whether they are prone to making mischief,
Its a subject that's still open to debate.
Some say dragons are quite friendly creatures.
Why, I've heard  that they make gentle, loving pets,
And it's said that if one treats them with affection,
The great, scaly fellows never will forget.

But if you choose a dragon as a house pet,
Your fire insurance rates are sure to soar,
Unless you teach your dragon not to hiccup,
And to breathe into the furnace when he snores.
On the feeding of domesticated dragons
(We have saved this information till the end):
They feed mainly on bad dreams and mustang nightmares,
And a local politician now and then.

Copyright © William Robinson

Details | Rhyme | |

Funny House Pets for Kids


First you got an alligator.

Next came a giraffe.

Lions ride your elevator,

bears hide in your bath.



       (a duck?),


             run amok through all your rooms!

Soon, if you don't set them free - there will be no room for me!


Copyright © Lycia Harding

Details | Limerick | |

Monkey Poo

Monkey see....monkey do...
Monkey took a poo poo...
Monkey pooed on my arm..
on my shirt...icky warm...
Monkey poo rings my alarm!
Monkey monkey...look at you!
Get this's from your wah-zoo!!
Eep! eep! eep! said the monkey!
Then he squeezed his nose...
'cause it smelled funky!

Copyright © Lawrence Ingle

Details | Rhyme | |

Christmas Dinner Fiasco

"Christmas Dinner Fiasco" on Christmas Eve, family gathered for "Feast of Seven Fishes" an old Italian tradition while wrapping gifts with expectant wishes hubby decided to play Chef Boyardee complete with hat and apron, a fun sight to see the kitty cats circled dinner table to pounce licking their whiskers, smelling each tasty ounce. pumpkin bread baking and homemade apple pie whipped cream and hot fudge enjoyed with warm sigh candied sweet potatoes with buttered rolls and biscuits diet food hidden away like melba toast and triscuits aromas so yummy the puppies were squealing soon there was a stampede, sent the kitchen Chef reeling. tree trimming time once dinner was finished spirits running high with no chance to diminish all seated to say grace before this marvelous meal with colorful palette' and great appetite appeal underneath the table came growling and gnashing as felines and canines, over dripping crumbs, were clashing. the Chef lost his temper and scooted pets to the yard from inside the hacienda those onry pets were barred but the doggie door was unlocked so began the invasion pets on parade on a Christmas Eve occasion the desserts lined the table like poetic pop art creme puffs with rum and rice cakes a la carte'. coffees were carried next to Christmas tree tinsel and garland with musical lights mystery but Cali the cat had his own idea of fun 'twas entangled in garland with paws in a bun and Gabby had stolen a piece of creme puff his black face was white as snowflake soft fluff. the Danes sniffed out chew sticks from their stockings as Raider and Golden ran round the tree in flocking and sweet little Venus was as good as a dream enjoying her peaches as she swirled in whipped cream Christmas dinner fiasco provided laughs with love as we sang "Deck the Halls' to the good Lord above. *For Francine Robert's Christmas Dinner With Humor. *Dec. 2, 2012.

Copyright © Linda-Marie SweetHeart

Details | Rhyme | |

The Goat and Me

In a field I saw a goat
Eating grass that day
I felt so sorry for him
And thought he’d like to play

And here I thought he was
So sad to be that way
I thought he needed attention
So I planned to see him that day

But what a fool was I you see
I really didn’t click
Why would he be all alone?
In a field so green and thick

So I squeezed through the fence
And straight into the grass
He didn’t seem to flinch
Or look as I walked past

But then I saw his eye
And saw his chewing cease
He didn’t look so happy
And lost that look of peace

There I was standing
In this field alone
A goat looking angry
And me so far from home

So I started running
And there began the chase
Through the field of flowers
Running with no grace

Stumbling and stamping
While he kicked behind
Scared that I would be beat up
And I would not be fine

And so I jumped the fence
And got safely out
While he chewed my jumper
He had in his mouth

And looking at that goat now
I can clearly see
Why there was a fence
Between him and me  

Copyright © Nadine Hof

Details | Limerick | |

Pets on Parade

"Pets on Parade" on Christmas Eve two kitty cats were sleeping as Santa Claus climbed down the chimney creeping Excalibur started to purr Gabriel raised his black fur poor Santa was startled and began weeping. while Santa was chased by playful felines trotting toward them a band of hungry canines sweet Venus the white Wstie was growing quite testy for commotion interrupted her night sublime. Thor and Thunder twin midnight blue great danes frolicked in fun as Santa reached for red candy canes they took giant licks opened Santa's bag of tricks as Raider the Shepherd smeared frosty windowpanes. pretty pets on parade on Christmas Eve had a jolly good time you best believe sharing cookies and milk with the Moon smooth as silk and Santa was so happy to leave. *For SKAT'S Calling All Pet Poems ..

Copyright © Linda-Marie SweetHeart

Details | Light Poetry | |

Piddle Eee Dee

Piddle Eee Dee

Dribble, Dribble, breakage, and Piddle
                   A pox on that little dog!
Ankle biter, obnoxious barker…
                   Wish he’d just shut up!

Chased him around all day long
                   But he still got my sofa again!
I wonder if my Dear Old Mother-in-Law
                   Could survive just one day without him!
Perhaps I should now get out the broom
                   A week of destroying stuff, is just too much!
So I used the broom to scoot him out the door.
                   Then he proceeded to dig my flowers up!

From under the fence he made an escape
                    I chased him for an hour and a half!
Then my Mother-in-Law came back home
                    And picked her precious up!!!!
Such love and warmth I've never seen… Darn… 
                    Wouldn't that be my luck! So I’m back to…

Dribble, Dribble, breakage, and Piddle
                   A pox on that little dog!
Ankle biter, obnoxious barker…
                   Wish he’d just shut up!

Copyright © Carol Eastman

Details | Limerick | |

Garage Sale

1221 Boiling Weather Drive
First customer gets a free beehive
With purchase ten bones or more
Food, drinks, desserts galore
Porcelain hitchhiker needs a ride

Copyright © Sharon Morken

Details | Narrative | |


My son and his family drove down from the big city,
out to the countryside with open fields and steams.
They brought their standard golden poodle along, 
a curly-haired fellow, name of Timmy.
Timmy had never seen a cat;
not even a mole or a furry rat.
Visiting country kin, he was checking things out.

Everything went fine that very first day.
Cats went about paying him no mind.
He walked about just passing time.
On that second day there was a big mistake.
Being a city dog with more worldy ways,
to add pleasure to his hum-drum days,
he thought it time to befriend these country kin.
The cats had never seen a dog this small,
only those on stilts, big, long and tall, 
like Pyrenees, big wide mouths and teeth to match.
With barking big dogs on the scene,
up a tree they squirreled, never to be seen.
But this golden-haired fellow, with city clout--
they’d give him benefit of instinctive doubt.

Mama cat was even so bold 
to sniff this city slicker right on the nose.
Sizing him up all the while, a friendly rat, she surmised,
a might bigger than some she had seen,
playing cat and mouse, yet acting so coy;  
that is, until that overgrown golden-haired rat  
walked up to Mama’s black baby boy.

Mama’s two other sons, another black and a blue,
began to gather nearer this city dweller, too.
Timmy politely extended his nose.
black son cat extended his razor-sharp claws,
with a bristled tail and fierce hissing jaws. 
Timmy let out with a painful yelp,
as Mama cat called all boys in for help.

Cats surrounded and gave chase to the dog,
life-fearing circles around the cedar tree he’d log;
four hissing cats hot on his tail,
poor Timmy yelping in a desperate wail.
The master of Timmy gave rescue,  
but Mama cat and her three grown sons,
strutting in pride, putting a dog on the run. 

Written by:  Carolyn Henderson
For Constance LaFrance's Cat Poem Contest
Won 9th Place

Copyright © Carolyn Henderson

Details | Quatrain | |

Our Cow

We bought a cow at the state fair 
and loaded her on the truck
to take her home, but halfway there
we had a stroke of good luck.

We hit a rock, and from the crash
she bounced away down the hill,
she mooed and made an awful splash
in the stream beside the mill.

The water was still awful cold,
the cow already freezing…
resisting as we roped and pulled
her breathing turned to sneezing.

My father said this won’t end well,
he couldn’t have been more wrong.
He thought the cow, we ought to sell
but changed his mind before long.

We took her home, our shook up cow, 
unloaded her in the barn.
We thought we’d let her sleep for now
then see to her in the morn’.

The next day, just around sunrise,
the cow already awake.
I milked, and to my great surprise,
I got a frozen milkshake! 


Copyright © The Grahamburglar

Details | Free verse | |

How Mr Pie came to rule the world

It all started when Mr. Pie was a little bugger,
Just a wisp of fluff in the palm of your hand.
"Oh, isn't mama's little man the most handsomest EVER?!"
Not a day has gone by when he has argued that point!
"Be careful with all that encouragement" I prophetically warned,
"It may go straight to his head!!"....and what a head it became!!
Grey, dignified, regal....a lions mane with white marbling.
2 golden eyes piercing you with that casually bored stare one may give to one's shoes.

Every morning at 8 am and every night at 10 pm he demonstrates his knowledge of time.
Head-butting the door and SCREAMING the words "MOM!!! 
MAAAWWWMMMM!!......NOW???!!???.........MOM???   NOWWWWW??" (for real!!)
Needless to say, he's got us trained pretty well,
But we're still working on house-breaking me!!!!!
He still has yet to teach us PROPER portion control,
And I get the impression I'm not so popular when I give less than expected.
Maybe it's the "Death-threat" stare, or maybe the Kitty Log in my slippers, I don't know!

All I can tell you is don't EVER make the mistake of addressing him as a "cat"
Or you may come to know the justice of King Pie, The Terrible........just a warning!!

Copyright © Jim David

Details | Limerick | |

Bow Pow

<                                    cakes and sausages on hot griddle
                                      uncle Leroy's dam dog just piddled
                                      slipped ~ slide across floor
                                      grabbed shotgun by front door
                                      now dam ole dog just plays an fiddle 

                            bow bow bow bow bow bow bow        bow ~ wow 
                            ow ow ow ow ow ow ow                       bow ~ ow 
                            with   tail    between     own  ~              legs 
                            now    dog    sings  ~    and  ~               brags
                            about cousin's daisies's  bad                 bow ~ pows

Entry For John Freeman's
Slapstick Limerick Contest
Gl All

Poor Ole Dog LOL

Copyright © Katherine Stella

Details | Epitaph | |

Silly Epitaph 16

In loving memory of Jones,
The best duck I've known.
My pet and friend since I was four.
For a bird, he was dear;
I wish he was here
So that he and I could do more.

Copyright © Tara Andre

Details | Hybronnet | |

kittens sleeping

     Two kittens sleep
     aside as I write purring
     each in a moccasin 

Copyright © Shanity Rain

Details | Limerick | |

Some Limericks...

She’s out there chasing a cricket

Through bush, through shrub & through thicket

Together they hop

Fugitive, cop

But when she gets it, she just wants to lick it!

A cat whose vet took his eye

Just cannot quite understand why

His eye’s been enucleated,

3-D vision reduciated,

So now, he keeps an eye out for an eye

Ya gotta keep limericks loose

Think green eggs, or perhaps Dr. Seuss

They’re structured, it’s true,

But they’re also a zoo

Whose tenants are all on the loose!

I frolic in fountains of words

Overflowing with serious absurds

Each poem I write

Wakes up and takes flight

Joining angels and faeries and birds

You ask that we write a good limerick

How to do so, I haven’t a glimmerick

So I struggle and frown

Teaching  poems to clown

So a smile on your lips will be shimmerick

A cat with a mouth full of mouse

Brought her feast right into my house

She played with her food

Who was not in the mood

To be a banquet of mouse in the house

The nightmares that shadow my sleep

Stampede the proverbial sheep

Right out of my mind

When I try to unwind

I find my appointment with sleep hard to keep

In her search for original truth

She met people unsavory and couth

She knitted and purled

But only unfurled

Yarns told by new age and old youth

Cat, suddenly pink,

Drinks her water from out of the sink

She looks so absurd

Since she’s been de-furred

I really don’t know what to think!

If one and one is two and two is four,

And there’s only two ways to go through  a door,

Then, is earth up or down?

And, where is down town?

These are questions we need to explore!

A was that is an is

Tried to mind my biz

But I sent it packing,

Its presence was lacking

And I don’t have time for such shiz!

A couple who lived in Los Lunas

Loved the wide desert sky’s crystal blueness

They’d stare at the air,

Over here, over there

And rejoice at the feeling of newness

A cat with a very fat gut

Found it easier to walk on his butt

He’d drag it around

Across carpet and ground

And use it to slam the doors shut

Said the Missus to her dear Mr. Otter,

“There’s something I think that you oughta

Do before we get old

To protect us from cold –

You oughta make the hot water hotter!”

The ghosts who live up in my attic

Make noises that sound much like static

I’ve tried to send them away,

But they’re here to stay,

Those staticky ghosts in my attic

Copyright © Rev. Rebecca Guile Hudson

Details | Limerick | |

February Funny Bone

                                 Once came along a groundhog named Phil
                                 Looked for shadow in winters chill
                                         Even top hat and coat
                                         Didn't stop whining's gloat
                                Stuck six more weeks paying heating bill                                 

Written by 
Katherine Stella 2/4/12
Entry For
Linda Marie's
February Funny Bone Contest

Copyright © Katherine Stella