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Funny Mother Poems | Funny Poems About Mother

These Funny Mother poems are examples of Funny poems about Mother. These are the best examples of Funny Mother poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Rhyme | |

ALWAYS MOTHERS DAY

I have borrowed  the first line of this piece from the"unknown scribe" , which I 
read many years ago.... The rest is for ALL the great mothers who are SOUPER.


Who took me from my cosy cot  
And sat me on an ice cold pot  .
To make me pee ,when I could not..........  My mother

Who fed me from the very start
With bosomed milk , straight from the heart
Then burped me, 'till I'd belch and fart...... My mother

Who warmed me from the Winter breeze
Dried the blood from my skinned  knees
But told me "fibs" 'bout birds'n bees..........My mother

Who healed me when I had a chill
And nursery rhymed me Jack and Jill
But lied to Dad , about being on the pill...... My mother

Who coaxed me past the school day bell
Smiled and said .. all would be well
But then went home and cried like Hell.......My mother

Who was protector from life's curse
Was doctor , dentist , priest and nurse
Friendly Bank ,with open purse...................My mother

Who lies beneath this cold grey stone
In peace ,at last , and all alone
The first true love that I had known.................. Mam
                                                                                           x


Details | Couplet | |

On The Moon

Thea, grandfather Alferd's dog died, she was so old and sick
Now is Thea on the moon, says Adrian who is six

Michael Jackson died so unexpectedly and abruptly
He is on the moon and plays with Thea, says Adrian who is a big fan

Betzy, grandfather Arild's dog died, she was also old and sick
Now Betzy is also on the moon with Thea and Michael Jackson and play all day

Great Grandmother died so unexpectedly and abruptly
Adrian who is six had difficulty understanding

Adrian who is six cried many tears for Great Grandmother
but comforted himself with the fact that she is sitting on the moon and
makes waffles to Thea, Michael Jackson and Betzy.




04.11.2012
A-L Andresen :)  - A true story -


Details | Free verse | |

Its Raining...

                          Its Raining…

God’s Cleansing Tool
Cloud-Concerto… How Cool !
Plop-Plop Plopping into Pothole Pools
On the Grass, Pavements and On My Own-Sweet- Fools…

who, don’t have Sense enough, to get out of the Rain…
… I think I’ll go Join Them… Again

                               Amen


Details | Sonnet | |

Shall I Compare Thee to Your Mother's Arse

Shall I compare thee to your mother's arse?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her clothes hath all too short a rent

Sometime too hot-headed of hell doth burn,
And often is the true nature exposed;
And every foul from fowl; my stomach churns,
By reason, or by nature's raging closed.

But thy infernal diet shall ne’er start
Nor gain possession of which now I grasp;
Nor shall we meet again; let’s stay apart,
When in eternal sounds the voice does rasp,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives this, and I bid thee goodbye.


Details | Rhyme | |

THE AGING PROCESS

Many years ago, when we were all young,
We really thought life, would be so much fun.
While playing dress-up, trying on mom’s stuff,
Putting on make-up, we found to be tough.

Then came our schooling, and boy things would change,
“Those aren’t our parents”, when they acted strange.
Sometimes they were hip, but old-fashioned too,
That’s something I swore, I would never do.

Wishing you were older, adults had it made,
They would do nothing, yet still would be paid.
That is how little, we all had known,
We surely found out, once we were grown.

Loving the twenties, we’d go out with friends,
When we went shopping, we followed the trends.
Doing what we wanted, and staying out late,
It didn’t matter, what time we all ate.

Then came the thirties, and most of us wed,
Watch what you wish for, my parents had said.
We had to work hard, many bills to pay,
I guess they were right, what more can I say?

Raising your children, was hardest of all,
Needing some advice, your parent’s you’d call.
It seemed so easy, they needed no rest,
So now it’s your turn, you learned from the best.

The forties arrived, that was a shocker,
We’d spend lots of time, just at the doctor.
Back aches and headaches, so tired you’d be,
Trying not to cough, or else you would pee.

The fifties would come, and your grandkids too,
Where were your glasses? You hadn’t a clue.
You searched here and there, and under the bed,
“Hey grandma” they laughed, “They’re right on your head”.

Here come the sixties, now let’s have some fun,
You are retired; your work is all done.
To dinner with friends, you dressed and you wait,
They never show up, you have the wrong date.

Now the seventies, with friends playing games,
If only you could, remember their names.
You try hard to hide, those under-eye bags,
Gravity happens, and everything sags.

Enjoy every day, and have a good laugh,
All the steps you took, led down a new path.
Live life as it comes, each year a new page,
One thing is for sure, everyone will age.


Details | Rhyme | |

Where Has Dad Gone, Mama Dear

Where has dad gone, momma dear?
Hush, my little lamb.
Your dad's gone to the thicket dear 
And mad old Abraham

That man went early this grim morn, and took his sharpened knife
And with him took his own first born, to offer up his life
With servants and with firewood, both, they journeyed to Moriah
And on the hillside there they built an altar and a fire

And Isaac, when he heard the plan, went willingly, it's odd
That he should let that daft old man, so worship his cruel god.
Your father, he was passing by, and heard but could not see
And foolishly could not deny his curiosity

So closer did your father scramble peering through the thorns
Unaware of how the brambles tangled with his horns
Just to see a crazy man who planned to kill his kin
Your father did not understand the danger he was in

For then again that mad old man started hearing voices
His god was speaking to the loon and giving him new choices
And so his plan to slay the boy came about to falter
And Abraham, he took your pa and dragged him to the altar

But that was never fair, mama, can you tell me why
When Isaac he was all prepared and well prepared to die
And all had been decided on, so what cruel trick mama
Was played upon that grand old ram, who was my own papa?

Life is not fair, my little lamb, nor is it like to change
And fate plays tricks on all of us, both sinister and strange
So you take care, my little lamb, with this advice from me 
Do not visit places where you know you should not be

The moral of this story dear, is take heed of the odds
And stay away from two-leggies worshipping their gods


Details | Rhyme | |

MAMMA ANNA MADE THE BEST BABBA' AL RHUM

Mamma Anna made the best Babba' al Rhum,
you should have seen me how it made me slightly drunk;
and jumping and screaming I danced to the beats of a drum...
then grandma joined in and she sang a classical song!


And the sweet cream was on my lips and cheeks, 
the Babba' al Rhum was delicious and I topped it with chocolate;
everybody began shouting, "It came from Paris,
but we Neapolitans reinvented it by improving its shape and taste!"


Mamma Anna made the best Babba' al Rhum, soaking it in that liqueur much longer;
and Papa' always told me to eat more of it...saying with a suppressing laughter,
"It's a man's dessert, after you eat it, you'll be strong!"
Oh, did he really tell me the truth? No, he was wrong!


It's so very sad that they aren't here,
and I am eating pretzels and drink a beer,
the harmony that stirred their passion can't possibly return...
as they danced on the terrace to celebrate the day I was born!


Mamma Anna knew how to make the best Babba' al Rhum,
and I licked the dripping rum with my finger...not my tongue!
She spoke calmly...when she should have gotten mad and picked up a broom;
no, she was never mean and rude, or ever said to me, " Go to your room!"


Details | Rhyme | |

Mother May I

Mother may I 
Go out and play
My child
Have you cleaned your room today

Are your toys packed away
in your toy chest with care
Yes mother yes 
its all in there

Did you make your bed 
like i showed you how
yes mother yes
may I go now

Yes son yes
after a brief inspection
son shakes his head
not what I was expecting

Never-mind mother
I'm going to my room
oh by the way
can you hand me the broom?


Details | Light Poetry | |

' Boot-Legged Mama '

Mama and Daddy was always Love-Dovey
She is His Sweetheart – He is Her Honey
First Love… Real Love  -  Forever True
Pa… I Pray to find A Man Like You…

Daddy Laughed and Put His Arm Round My Shoulder
And Said, “I’ll Tell You Somethin’, Now You’re Older
It’s got to do with Your Mother’s Fame
And Why I gave Her, The Nickname…

               … Boot-Legged Mama

                  Boot-Legged Mama
Blue-jean Shorts and Vintage Tony Lama
Walked thru the Door… of A Liquor Store
… Packaged so Pretty… Pa Just had to Pour

               … Boot-Legged Mama

Ma… Was there, to get 6-packs for A Party…
Pa… Was there, ‘cause of a Taste for Bacardi
He took One Look and Knew He Couldn’t Waste Her
Pa… Gave-up ‘Drank’… Just so He Could Chase her !

Dad, Said, ‘He’d Drowned in Dark-Eyes and Sweet-Aroma
Fine-Wine, Crystal… But Tuff’ Nuff’ to Down-Drama
Pa Claims, Mama’s Labeled by the F.D.A.
And Listed on Her Driver’s License is,  A.K.A.  …

               … Boot-Legged Mama

                  Boot-Legged Mama
 Genuine Woman, Who Made Him Wanna’
Take Her to be His Lawful Moonshine
… Married at Midnight – ‘cross The County-Line

               … Boot-Legged Mama

Alcohol’s in Trauma;  and Prohibition Told Her:
"Boot-Legged Mama… Done Drove Pa Sober !"
Now, Homemade-Hooch… is His Acquired Taste
180 Proof… Kicked All Over His Case !

Right Then, Mama Flowed into The Room
Pa, Teased and Said, “Still Full-Bodied and Perfumed !
Ma Hugged Us, then Handed Me – Old Boots and A Dress…
    (and good advice)… “Go Git’ My Elliot Ness…

               … and be a Boot-Legged Mama!

( Hey !... Did I Hear Somebody, In A Country Drawl ….
          Order Up A Bottle of Kicking Alcohol !
         Well, Here She Is… Y'all ! ...
                  Boot-Legged Mama ….

Well John (Moses) Freeman... You Said You Needed
Somethin' :)  to Read tonight, before kicking up your
heels...  Well, Here It Is (Have Fun - Son)

MoonBee 

 (Thank You For All Your Wonderful Comments
Now, I Can't Get Thru The Door for My Ego.. (Smile)


Details | Cowboy | |

ShirtTails

Son, would you tuck in your shirttail
Was something often heard
At home when I was a youngster
With harsher action inferred

My otherwise kind hearted Mother
Had shirttails as a pet peeve
That boys were just naturally sloppy
Was something she wouldn't believe

It didn't seem to matter
That action was big in my plan
Like building a fort or a tree house
Or a game of kick the can

As long as my trouser tops covered
The tail of my shirt complete
Dear Mother seemed quite contented
And smiled at her son so neat

But catching fly balls and gophers
Are surely not meant I'd say
For shirttails tucked in and tidy
From the start to the end of a day

Well now that I'm older I smile
Each time I check my belt line
And straighten my shirt without thinking
Like a habit  that's learned over time

Some Mothers have talent for teaching
Their lessons to boys of school age
Who think that neatness can't happen
'Till life's reached a much older stage

You see my reflex for shirttails
Was taught by a Mother with grace
Who sewed to each shirttail bottom
Two inches of fancy pink lace!


Details | Couplet | |

Mother's Wisdom

We nurture them within our bodies, birth them in a blinding pain,
suckle them on breasts so swollen, till we think we’ll go insane.

We kiss away each painful boo-boo, bandage each and every wound,
show them that in spite of roundness, peas can stay upon their spoons.

We intercept their nostril’s flowing, be it green or white as snow,
wiping gently ever hoping, for the day they’d learn to blow.

We give to them each ounce of wisdom, try to teach them everything,
suddenly, for unknown reasons, screw it up and give them wings.

We mourn a bit, those cherished moments, when on us they did depend,
days when we were super heroes, possessing wisdom without end.

We watch the journey proudly knowing, as they soar into the light,
Mother’s wisdom, though not perfect, lends the wind that gives them flight.


Details | Free verse | |

Princesses

Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!


Details | Narrative | |

Grandparents Before - But not today


Grandmothers and grandfathers how they look,
how can we see that there is a grandmother or a grandfather
When I was a little girl we could see a grandmother and a grandfather
Grandparents used hats, glasses, and walking stick
The skin of their face was weathered and wrinkled
Some had teeth they put in a glass in the evening

Grandmothers always had time for a glass of juice and a hug
She was never impatient, tie shoelaces with pleasure
Always in floral dresses, which smelled like grandma
Grandmothers wont not be at work tomorrow, she has time for an adventure
She does not skip a single word, to be finished soon
It was always sweets in grandmother's hand bag
She never spared, but shared with a beautiful smile

Grandfathers were a bit more restrained,
 bit concerned about the day's news in their newspaper
He would like to go for a walk, and he walks with small cautious steps
When he meet someone he knows, he lifts a bit on his hat and nod
He has very little hair on his head, and his head shines in the sun
Grandfathers have a strong hand to hold, I was confident in his hand
He could tell me what all the birds called, he was so wise

Everyone should experience an old-fashioned grandmother and grandfather
one that does not have a television, computer or washing machine
A grandmother and grandfather who always have good time


But it was in the past ..... not today...





23.02.2013
A-L  Andresen :)


Details | Burlesque | |

Redneck FATHER'S DAY------

***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***



"Storm over yet...?"

"Well hay'ell ye'ah! 
 woo-hoo!
 sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
 whadda'bou  that boy th'er?
 sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"

"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"

"Wha'choo sayin? 
 wha'th'a?
 na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
 shoot! 
 'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm! 
 torna'durr warnin' too!
 he gonna have him'a cole burr;  
 on me!"
 my treat!
 mama, git him'a cole burr! 
 ro'tt now; 
 ya'here?
 besides...
 ta'days father's day!" 



© 2011  ~JSLambert Esquire

   










Details | Rhyme | |

The Happy Dress

It’s a mother-in-law’s right, her prerogative 
To ‘drop in’ on her son almost any time,
But a mother-in-law should always be prepared
For almost anything she may find.

So, Mother Cready dropped in unannounced;
But as she approached her son’s front door,
Suddenly it opened.  “Ta Da!  Do you like my happy dress?”
His young wife stood there in her ‘all in all’…nothing more.

“Oh, my word!” Mother Cready exclaimed with surprise.
“Why are you naked?  Are you insane?”
Just as surprised, the young wife pulled her inside.
“Please, Mother Cready…if you’ll just let me explain.

You see, when Mac has had a rough day,
When he’s been under a lot of stress,
Sometimes I meet him at the door
With a smile and a kiss in my happy dress.

It always relaxes him and makes him happy,
Then he makes me very happy too.
It works for Mac and me, Mother Cready;
Maybe it would work for you.”

“We’re too old for such.” scoffed Mother Cready.
“Perhaps if we were young like the two of you.”
But, on her way home, she decided
She was definitely going to try it too.

So, she bathed and put on some nice perfume,
Fixed her make-up and her hair.
She was thinking some very sexy thoughts,
But she had to hurry…no time to spare.

She heard her husband’s car in the driveway;
And as he approached their front door,
She threw it open.  “Ta Da! Do you like my happy dress?"
She stood there in her ‘all in all’…nothing more.

She saw a little grimace cross his face,
But that was not the worst.
Then he said, “I appreciate your happy dress, my dear;
But maybe you should have ironed it first.”

ALTERNATE LAST VERSE

“Well…your ‘happy dress’ could use some ironing;
But my birthday suit could use some starch.”
He kissed her. “Bet you and I can work it out.”;
And off to bed they marched.


Details | Rhyme | |

Sister, Sister

Mother Superior faced a daunting task,
Like no other in her forty years.
She had prayed it simply wasn’t so,
That Godly intervention might belie her fears.

But sadly, there was no such intervention,
No relief from the duty she did rue.
Despite her hopes and all her prayers,
It had been confirmed.  What she feared was true.

So, she gathered all the Sisters after Vespers.
The impromptu meeting caused quite a stir.
There was murmuring as they filed into the chapel.
She hesitated for a moment... but no, she was sure.

“Sisters, I asked you all here to share some news.
It’s something I never thought I’d have to say.
We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.”
Mary Catherine, a Sister for sixty years, said, 
“Oh, thank God.  I’m so tired of Chardonnay.” 


Details | Light Poetry | |

The Tone In Her Voice

The tone in her voice told me I had gone to far,
the tear down her cheek another scar 
inflicted upon an already bruised loving heart.

The look in her eyes cause me to shudder,
the clench of her jaw arouses a twitch of her lip,
to quell and dissipate words she would love to spew,
but will not,
instead, scream into deep recesses of her brain.

The stoop of her shoulders, hands balled into fists drilled into her waist
with legs spread taunt, 
all positive signs to find an escape route.

As I turn and crawl away I hear her say,
if you were not a baby, there would be the devil to pay.

There was not anything I could say,
at nine months,
language was scheduled for another day,
so I just went about my way,
next time I see mom, she will give me a hug, everything again okay.

Until the next time.


Details | Burlesque | |

Nose

He was sitting cross legged at 15th and Market

The  people would walk around him during the workweek

He sat chatting with his cat

The cat was named Mr Johnson and they were friends

The man had skin cancer on his nose in the form of a bloody mole

And there were days when he sat talking with the  Mole

The Mole would chastise him saying,"If your mother could only see you now."

"If my mother could see me now it would be a miracle,"said the man

The man's mother had been dead for over 20 years

The Mole loved to get his back rubbed but the man was tired

 So the Mole gave him the silent treatment

And  Mr Johnson reached up and scratched the mole

"You musn't be mean to the man or I will not feed you Mole."

The Mole apologized to the Man

The man decided to tell the Mole a story and cat would add parts

He always added parts

 

There once was a flower

'It stood near a Disco tower, "added Mr Johnson

Its petals were yellow

"All good moles  shout hello,"sang Mr Johnson

 

And the policeman was shaking the man and his mole

"Move along buddy."


Attempt at Burlesque


Details | List | |

Rules in the eyes of a toddler

If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed, stepped on or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, must make her dirty
If it is sibling, must slap,kick,and fight.
If it has four legs, must squeeze tight until makes noise
If big person is on phone, must make lots of noise
If tv is not on cartoons, scream until they are
If food is not good, throw it, refuse to eat it and cry until big people give you something good


Details | Limerick | |

Her Voice Say

.
               

                     When tired from sweeping with the storebought broom
                                  I'd lean against not wanting to resume
                                       Momma said, "Nusing your bab?"
                                     I would sweep, under breath crab
                        Now would love to hear her say,  "Clean your room!"






(Momma would say nusing not nursing..Bab is instead of baby..)


Details | Free verse | |

Grandma Was Dancing

She was a tappin' to the tunes...
of those Mississippi blues...
step-pin' out, in her white...
Pat-en-leather shoes,

We were a watchin' her a prancin',
all through the kitchen, dancin'...
for she was so...hot & sizzlin'...
hummin' to those Mississippi tunes...

Funny curlers too, upon...
her head...for a new... Hair dew,...
she was, a swirlin'-in that bakers apron,
when her head...star-ted a bobbin' to...
those Mississip-pi blues,

'Pots were a knockin'...
Grandma a sockin' down all she brews,
while that kettle there was whistlin',
in har-mo-ny, with them good ole...
good ole...mississip-pi moves,'

That floor there, was a bouncin'
holdin' hands we were a jumpin',
an-a hoppin' In the kitchen, to those...
                  sounds ...
Where Grandma's feet were a stompin',
In her new...New-white-sexy-pat-en-
leather-shoes...
(ya hoo)


Details | Limerick | |

She really did get this call

I wish I could be a fly on the wall,
  
When my poor old mother gets the phone call,

        “He’s here at the bar
  
        Quick bring us your car,

Your husband just got in a brawl”


Details | Burlesque | |

Suburban Spring

Suburban Spring	
(4.15.10)


	Springtime fills the air, 
			like laughing gas.
		(Or maybe more like whiskey.)
The suburbs are drunk on the nectar of it's dawn.
	Middle-class houses 
			are starting to dance.
		(Or maybe they're just wobbling.)
They vomit whole families onto their lawn.

			I watch them the same way dogs watch TV:
				Confused and intrigued, 
		with a slight urge to pee.

	The father cuts grass, 
			like a sleepwalker.
		(Or maybe more like a zombie -
Ravenous for cheap beer, instead of brains.)
	A six pack later, 
			he starts washing his car.
		(Or watering his driveway.)
He's spreading on wax so he's set when it rains.

	The mother kneels in dirt, 
			tending the garden.
		(More like digging in a sandbox.)
Her spade is rusty.  (Figuratively, at least.)
	A sunset later, 
			she cooks family dinner.
		(Or maybe orders some pizza.)
(If every mouth is fed, she can call it a feast.)

			I watch them the same way dogs watch TV.

	The son plays war games, 
			dying for fun.
		(Or maybe more for practice.)
He whines about fruit drinks, as well as the heat.
	A full pitcher later, 
			tweaking on sugar,
		(Or maybe just corn starch.)
the war escalates, 'til its time to go eat.

	The daughter makes a picnic, 
			inviting her toys.
		(Or maybe not.)
(Her plastic spread can only spread so thin!)
	After the tea time, 
			she's off picking flowers.
		(Or maybe weeds.)
(As long as they're pretty, there's a vase that they'll fit in.)

		They gather, as a family, at the table to say grace.
		They hold each others' hands and say, "Amen."  
			(And proceed to stuff their face.)

	The dog sits by the boy - 
			Loyal and true.
		(Or maybe just hungry.)
He drools as he stares from the corners of his eyes.
	After dinner, 
                     he offers to help with the dishes.
		(Or maybe he demands it.)
The boy sneaks him a bite.  The dog is not surprised.

	Bedtime comes soon after.  
			The kids are sent to brush their teeth.
		(Or maybe just to run the sink.)
They put on their jammies, and to bed, they go.
	After tucking them in, 
			the parents watch TV.
		(Or maybe they just dream they do, 
					sleeping in its glow.)

	The dog is changing channels, 
			looking for a better show.
				Confused and intrigued, 
		he pees on the carpet below.


Details | Free verse | |

To Be Like You

You have the eyes of the innocent
I can see that your heart is pure 
Which means to me that I shall 
Follow you all the days of my life
And copy  in all that you do
I shall mimic everything about you 
I should wear my hair like you do
I should wear my clothing as you do
For my mother once told me 
If I want to get to heaven 
Then I must be more like you
Does this mean my own mother 
Loves you more then she loves her blood
If in fact this is so then I should follow you 
All the days of my long , long,  lonely life
Yes, in fact, I should want to be you 
Now I will sit, think , and plot to be like you
In fact I will put a spy cam on you to know 
Just exactly what you are up to when alone
I must be careful that you don't see what I do
There are those who take it the wrong way
Then in fact  one day I will  become you 
Then my mother will love me too !



Sept. 9  2010  Monday 6pm


Details | Pantoum | |

FORTY RUSTY PENNIES

I found forty rusty pennies in a black leather slipper
while my itchy nose sneezed more than three times;
why were they hidden from thrifty mother?
Weren't they less valued than silver dimes?


While my itchy nose sneezed more than three times,
mom woke up to scold me for my loud laughter;
she was mad and wanted to hear anything but lies
and frantically screaming, she pulled my curly hair. 


Mom woke to scold me for my loud laughter,
I tripped on the slipper, falling flat as a bear, 
and frantically screaming, she pulled my curly hair;
with an angered face, I retrieved to my dark lair.


She was mad and wanted to hear anything but lies,
mom woke up to scold me for my loud laughter;
with an angered face, I retrieved to my dark lair...
I found forty rusty pennies in a black leather slipper.


Details | Narrative | |

Granny And Your last glass of water

He starts singing songs of Ireland and we are home in a jiffy
"What's a jiffy," my mother wonders
"Guess  where we went Granny?"
"I don't know but I have a feeling you are gonna tell me," answers my grandmother
"And Don't call me Granny!"
"We went to church so Poppy could ask secret questions."
"The priest gave Poppy a shot and a beer and Poppy sent me next store and he gave me money for  taffy."
"He told me not to tell anyone especially you about the priest cause it's only for the priests ears."
"He said God would take away taffy and I'd never get another goodie and God would strike me dead if I told."
"So I can't tell anyone."
"He did," and she starts yelling and grabs a weapon,"what kind of idiot would be scaring a little child?"
Granny is standing on  Poppy's toes and and asking him questions of where he'd been and getting a sniff of his breath
"So what did you tell  the priest and him giving you consolation and a shot and beer."
"That little rat ," and thinks about the money for candy
Later, Granny is chasing Poppy with that big iron frying pan and poppy running and singing
"In Heaven they have no beer, that's why we drink it here."
"You damn fool I'm gonna bust you in the head, "and throws the pan at his head
And later
Cousin Francis has bill collectors come to the house looking for him
Granny was four foot seven  inches and she starts kicking him in the shin
My Mother grabs his Dick Tracy hat and she jumps on it and flattens it
I ask my mom where I was when this happened and she pauses
" You were in Heaven Patrick waiting with your brother!"
The truancy officers bang on the door and want to know where Uncle Charles is
Granny shrugs and says, "He is upstairs and the sound of the window going up sounds
They all run upstairs and see Uncle sliding down the tree and running as fast as his
seven year legs can move
He comes home later that evening holding a goose under his arm
And Poppy has a soft-boiled goose egg for breakfast every morning
I ask Uncle what happened to that goose and He said,"one day he came home  and
they had chicken for dinner."
And Poppy was gone to heaven to get me and my brother ready Mom says
And Granny sits my brother and me on her lap and says,"you two knuckleheads listen up."
"This is very important so don't forget it."
"Treat people the way you want to be treated, because you never know who is going to hand you your last glass of water"


Details | Rhyme | |

A Mother's discipline

With soap in hand placed in my mouth
Head hangs over toliet tongue heads south
Dirty words no more


Details | Couplet | |

Where does the Time go

I feel as though time is slipping away,
And more is gone each passing day…


Details | Rhyme | |

Mum's Christmas Dinner

She stays awake for hours, cutting Xs in the sprouts,
Then peels all the tatties, a ton or thereabouts,
Slicing and dicing parsnips is next up in the plan,
Chops up carrots and a swede, and put them in a pan,
Mixes up her sage and onion and stuffs it in the bird,
Along with some pork sausage meat that’s been pre-prepared,
She takes apart the oven, to fit the turkey in,
Hangs it up with bits of string, there’s no room in the tin,
Wraps sausages in bacon, in case they catch a chill,
But makes sure they‘re all cooked thoroughly, so the family won’t get ill,
Cooks the bird for hours, while the table’s being laid,
With all the finest crockery (and some of lower grade),
Makes space around the table, brings in extra chairs,
Adorns the place with candles and other Christmas wares,
Lays out a Christmas cracker in everybody’s place,
Complete with rather tacky joke, no doubt of a straight face,
And brings out all the condiments, the pickles and the sauce,
The salt and pepper, the mustard and radish known as “horse”,
Next she makes the starter, the simplest course by far,
A cocktail made up of prawns and a sauce out of a jar.
The family then all piles in, and argues over seats,
The children are already full of chocolates and treats,
Grandmother is mumbling, “Kids should be seen not heard”,
Meanwhile back in the kitchen Mum’s wrestling with the bird,
She tries to carve up slices, but ends up with turkey chunks,
While Dad and Gramps have become a pair of Christmas drunks,
They start an argument about which wine goes with the meat,
And restless children run around, not staying in their seat,
Mother tries to keep her calm and bravely soldiers on,
But the roasties are all blackened and the sprouts are over done,
Mum enters the dining room looking very puffed,
She throws the turkey down and shouts ,“There you go! Get stuffed!”


18th November 2012


Details | Narrative | |

Granny1

God's glance and a fine memory
Poppy snores away sitting in his comfortable chair
And Granny takes a feather and tickles his nose
He  wipes at his face and goes back to his fantastic snore
Poppy from Ireland and his shot and a beer
On payday Granny sends my Mother with Poppy as a reminder
"And don't take any side routes"
He gets his pay and starts to home
They walk to the chapel and  just one
It's always just one
He tells my mother to wait outside and he hands her  25 cents
"Now don't forget when Mommy questions you, where did we go."
 "We went to see Father Duke and Poppy I'm not dumb."
"I'm gonna have a palaver with this priest," as he goes into the bar
"Keep your mouth shut I need to ask the priest some advice."
He drinks a few quick shots and faster beer's 
And my mother buys a taffy
She stands waiting and eating taffy and Poppy happily comes out of the bar
"Now don't forget that we got the pay and I took you to get a goodie."
"But Poppy what about the priest who gave you a shot and beer?"
"Don't be talking and eat your goodie."


For some reason it wouldn't take the whole poem,, That's why I had to continue to Granny2


Details | Limerick | |

Mothers Day

Mothers are the best 
They are like a test
They are very loving 
They like a flower budding
The treat us like a fest.


Details | Senryu | |

Menacing Moms

<                                     just look at my son ...
                                 down to size of thirty two
                                 ....    fencing hackling




                                      meat and potatoes ...
                                   leftovers from my mother
                                 ...  well isn't that special



                                     eat sleep and ... running
                                     thats all I will ever see
                                   ...  glad father isn't here




Written by Katherine Stella
For Dr Rams IN-LAWS Contest
Gl All





Details | Narrative | |

Great Grandma Kicked some Butt

When my mother was at the age of thirteen,
A dirty old man asked her to come clean,
He invited her over so she could make a few bucks
When she arrived he was in a black tucks
He was the neighbor across the street,
His wife was at work and he viewed my mom as weak
This man locked the door when my mother arrived,
Went to go kiss her, to feed his sick drive,
My mom ran out the back door and went across the street,
Little did this man know he was in for a “delightful treat!”
My great grandma lived six towns away
My mother called her in a state of panic and disarray
A forty minute drive, granny made it in fifteen
Granny drove her old ford like a race car machine
When she arrived, she kicked that man’s door down
She did not care if anyone was around
That man jumped up by that loud sound
She hit him so hard he fell right on the ground
She slapped him around with her left shoe
Cursed him out in Italian, while threatening him too
Later that night my mother’s dad came home
He is a little man with a loud groan
He heard the story and went across the way
Took his shot gun and made this man pay
Told him if he ever touched his daughter again,
He would shoot off his little “private friend,”
He made this man cry in his own living room,
But I promise you this man never again tried to consume,
Every little girl on that street,
He knew not to look at or he would get severally beat,
My family has many stories of my Great Granny saving the day,
Never mess with an Italians family, they handle things in their own special way.

By:Sabina Nicole
Contest:
Written:9/29/11






      Every family has stories that get past down from one generation to the next. I was blessed to have had my mother’s grandparents until about 6 years ago. They did not speak any English and my great granny was a crazy awesome woman. She grew up on a farm in Italy and had to do a lot on her own. She raised all the children and grandchildren but was old school about a lot of stuff.  I remember my great grandparents fighting with each other even in the nursing home. They were married for 58 years; they shared a room in the nursing home that had two separate beds. My great grandma use to hit my great grandpa with her cane from across the bedroom. It was funny to watch.  They may have fought but they loved each other so much, my great grandma died 6 years ago and less than a year later my great grandpa died too. Now they are in heaven together, I don’t think there’s fighting in heaven, God don't allow that;)


Details | Free verse | |

Crayola Crayon Time

i prefer them bitten off =center
(a slow lick on a hard knife edge)
 a shecat sparkling like pinwheels
on the silky hilltops of waterbeds..
the ones that make you obsess -why they're one hour
-five minutes 
          late
why their mascaras messy,
making you waife their cologned necks,
checking for that strange strong scent
turn you into some kind of burning,paronoid
jittery flake.

i like'em a little mousy,a little off the 
         beat
a chick that can spit with class
kick the living MAN outta me...
A fireball that contorts and concocts,
attends to every want and need...
(ya know what i mean?)
hum-ta-dum...ta-dum... ta-dee 

but in the end what I really need
what we all need
is
periwinkle
predicatability
a crisco oiled apron
the one mamma used to don
a lullaby in the quiet cove of a racing mind 
reminding me of {dead} mother's...
undivided attention...
way back in Crayola Crayon time


Details | Pantoum | |

Penny Thoughts

A penny for your thoughts my mother used to say
I wondered if she thought my thoughts just worth penny
Conversations at our house were mostly one-way
She would say children are seen not heard, times_many

I wondered if she thought my thoughts just worth penny
She didn't encourage me  to speak anyway
She would say children are seen not heard, times_ many
Those thoughts just bounced around in my head everyday

She didn't encourage me to speak anyway
I asked many questions as high priced attorney
Those thoughts just bounced around in my head everyday
Because I was not free to speak mind went on journey

I asked many questions as high priced attorney
Conversations at our house were mostly one-way
Those thoughts just bounced around in my head everyday
A penny for your thoughts my mother used to say


Sponsor: Cyndi MacMillan
Contest: Rhonda & Cyndi's Penny Pantoums


Details | Haiku | |

Fire and Ice

Fire storm of passion Clothes, pathway to bedroom Phone, for you. Hi mom
By: Rollo West For contest: Fire and Ice


Details | Acrostic | |

LOST BABY BOY


L Like a juggler, rhythm of harried routine, a mother performing
O On finding the cling-clang-thump symphony's beats missing
S She froze mid-way through her act, something's just not right
T To her surprise, her rambunctious baby boy was nowhere in sight

B Brushing fears aside, she set to seek him in the game of peek-a-boo
A As she peered in every nook and cranny cooing,"momma loves you!"
B But success evaded her and she was fast losing heart and hope
Y Young mother burst into tears, her sanity dangling on a tattered rope

B "Boo!" a voice behind her in a squeamish cry, all too familiar
O Overjoyed she spun around crying and laughing all the same, feeling happier
Y "You naughty boy!"and he smiled impishly, right behind her, under kitchen counter!

7/8/2012


Details | Light Poetry | |

The First Christmas Present

A spider spun a silver web in a mound of golden straw, Then he hid himself inside the stack, away from the wind so raw. He yelled down to the sheep below Who were trying to huddle close, “It’s times like this that I wish there was a fire for a mutton roast. For winter had come upon the land and his barn was deathly cold, He wasn’t sure if he’d survive the night if the truth of it were told. He tried to dream a dream of hope to get him through the night, But he couldn’t bring himself to sleep because of a blinding light. A star was shinning down on them as if the sun in mid-day glory, The little spider had yet to learn of the coming Christmas story. Below was a ewe with her lamb both snuggled up together, Trying their best to keep warm in the cold of the winter weather. “I’d never trade places with you anyway,” the mother sheep bleated out, “Why are you so happy in your hate to lend voice to pain and doubt?” The light from heaven kept them awake and staring in wide wonder, When two weary travelers entered in and the straw became their plunder. The little spider became dislodged as a nest of straw was piled, And he could see that one of the travelers was very great with child. The three companions watched it all; they’d never seen a human being born, They were all surprised when at his birth There came the peal of an angelic horn. A herald’s call went out to all the land announcing the newborn king, And the spider and the ewe shared a laugh to think of such a thing. Because this baby was so very small and his parents were so poor, Yet there was something about this newborn child that neither could ignore. The spider looked down on the ewe and said in a voice too bold, “This baby needs to be swaddled now to keep him from the cold. Good ewe I can spin for him a cover if you’ll allow me to use your fleece.” So together they worked to swaddle the child on this night of Holy peace. The mother smiled at them all as she took the blanket for her boy, Then laid him in a manger poor and they were overcome with joy. The meaning of this wondrous event was what made them all feel glad, For they had brought the first gift to the Lord by sharing what they had. And the warmth, which they had provided the child, also kept the three of them warm, May the loving joy that they discovered keep you this Christmas morn. Merry Christmas!


Details | Free verse | |

My Heritage

My heritage is a mixture
Of backgrounds.  Let's start on 
My Dad's side of the family.

My Dad's mom is Irish and English.

My Dad's dad is Irish and German.

My Mom's mom is Scottish and Irish.

My Mom's dad is blood Hungarian.

So in other words,
I'm a mutt!  or as others say,
"Heinz 57!"


Details | Rhyme | |

Gran's Got Gerbils

 The following poem is based on a true story 

We were sitting down one evening when the phone began to ring,
“Hello mum,” said Father, “Can I help with anything?”
Grandmother then answered, “There’s a gerbil in my house!”
“Do you really mean a gerbil? Don’t you mean a mouse?”
“I’m certain it’s a gerbil,” My grandmother defended,
“And the fact you think I’d get that wrong makes me feel offended.”
“I’m sorry, but a gerbil? Are you really sure?”
“Yes I am. It must be one of those they’ve got next door.”
“We’re on our way.” Said my Dad and then hung up the phone,
And then within the hour we were at Grandmother’s home.

“Ok Mum, please tell me, just what did you see?”
“It came out from the kitchen and went under the TV.”
Dad went in a cupboard and then took out a trap,
Set it with some chocolate and waited for the “Snap!”,
It only took a moment, and what do you suppose?
A great big rat staggered out, the trap caught on its nose!
Dad chased it to the garden and gave it quite a whack,
“It’s ok Mum, that gerbil is never coming back”,
“Thank you Son, you know that I’d have struggled doing that,
But it could have been so much worse. It could have been a rat!”


Details | Rhyme | |

Full House

Naughty little brother hitting people just for fun,
Soppy little sister snuggles up to harassed mum,
While other sister Lesley thinks she’s in a royal court,
And “Ten Ton Tim” throws the tennis balls he’s bought,
One hits little Lesley on the head with quite a force,
She storms off to her room, in a nark again of course,
She slams the door behind her once she’s made her way upstairs,
And then there’s the twins, I know that trouble comes in pairs,
Michael’s riding Richard with his undies on his head,
While Craig from down the road is wearing swimming trunks instead,
“Ten Ton Tim” then offers the other boys a fight,
One which probably won’t finish until very late at night
“You and Craig onto me!”; a tempting offer to the boys,
Who start to rush towards him brandishing their army-toys,
Lesley reappears from the dark behind the door,
Intending not carry on moaning any more,
Dad is quite sensible at stays at work ‘til dark,
I think it’s more crowded here than in Noah’s Ark.
Mother calls for quite but the noise just carries on,
‘Til Craig suggests they go to his and then the rabble’s gone!




(Written at the age of 9 or 10)


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

A Letter To My First Crush

A LETTER TO MY FIRST CRUSH My Dearest Kevin My hands shake nervously as I write this letter The fountain pen drips the ink in heart-shapes Pieces of my heart as it reach out to you I just want you to know that loving you isn’t easy My dozen of Harlequins and my entire Mill @ Boon collection Have'nt prepared me To deal with a player like you I heard it through the grapevine, That you are heartbreaker and womanizer With only one thing on your adolescence mind My grandmother always told me, that Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free My grandma is a wise woman More like a heroine in my eyes I am the heroine of my life More like a Nancy Drew without a clue on how to love you I am never satisfy, I am curious And mysterious However I am very chary Kind of gal ^ I do believe that I am in love with you today However, I might hate you tomorrow Because you never know with a secret admirer To the man I love today They are nothing more than I can say. I will wait for your reply my love


Details | Haiku | |

Last Minute Halloween Costume

Last Minute Halloween Costume
Toilet paper wraps;
Costs less to dress as mummy,
Mom thinks it’s funny!


Details | Light Poetry | |

Fluffer-nutters

When I was a child 
I loved marshmallows
so soft, so gooey and yummy
Oh I'd beam out of doors
when the birch stick bore
charred marshmallow goop
for my tummy!

When I was a child
I would go hog wild 
for peanut butter and fluff
all that white marshmallow
in which I'd wallow
my mouth all covered
in sticky stuff!

My Mom often spread
the white Fluff on bread
with peanut butter galore
And we'd bypass the meat
for this sticky treat
and scream for her to
buy much, much, more!

But you see Mom knew
that good food it's true
can make children strong unlike 
those sweet Fluffer-Nutters
so we had to contend
with the meat in the end
if we wanted that treat 
from our Mother!











Details | Rhyme | |

Mom's New Phone

By have gone the years, along with the hearing in my mom's ears So I bought her a cordless phone with volume you can increase I never will forget that day, or the things she had to say From a phone I had given her, that would make her feel so pleased "Whoa ho look at me, a zeller phone wow wee!" My wife looked at me, and we both just smiled Then left her enjoy her new cell phone for a while "It's not a cell phone, it's only a cordless!" We both tried to tell her, but she just wouldn't hear us I pluged it in right next to her chair So if anyone called, the phone was always right there I explained the directions and the button to answer Than I also showed her the volume enhancer She gave me this look and said "maybe I'm just dumb" "But these new zeller phones, don't seem all that fun" We got back home and I gave her a ring She said "hello, hello... oh this stupid thing!"
Dan Kearley:7-15-11 (16)


Details | Quatrain | |

Superstitions for the Feeble-Minded

Don’t say that, you better knock on wood
It’s bad to spread misfortune aloud, in front of others
Don’t you know any better? Karma and jinxing are real
Hey! And get off that crack, you’ll break your mama’s back

It’s not so bad to spread misfortune aloud, in front of others
For those who did wrong doing to me and my loved ones
Hey! I’m glad to see you’re standing on that crack.
By the way send your dear mother my sincerest regards

And for those who did wrong doing to me and my loved ones
You should lasso the words escaping your mouth
Send your dear mother my sincerest regards
Just tell her I said it must blow having a child like you

You should hog tie those words before they escape your mouth
Sticks and stones could break bones, words, well they just sting
It must blow for your mom having such a shitty child, sting!
Sorry for the news flash but nobody likes you

Sticks and stones will break your bones, words just tingle
Oh you didn’t know any better?  Karma and Jinxing are real
News flash! The world is better off without the likes of you
That’s why you shouldn’t say that, did you knock on wood yet?


Details | Free verse | |

marking time....to my friends on poetry soup.- the Lord helped me fight death and won.

i don't want to be just marking

time.  i died on november 20,

2008, during surgery.  i was

on a vent when i awakened 

december 2, 2008....my sisters'

birthday. what made me llive

i'll never know.  i know there

are things to do on this side

of death.



i have no time for marking time.

i have a stupid bag hanging from

my side now.  i am supposed to

"get comfortable with it".  well

that was a laugh.

that was a laugh until i thought

of the people that had these

things with no hope of ever

getting away from them.



i am so lucky.  14 days i laid

on a vent, then 22 more.

i came home 3 days, 



then 


i had
great pain in my chest...
.
well this is great i said,

a pulmonary emboli, 15 more

days, three days home.



then back to e.r. blood pressure

too high.  this bought me 

4 more days in e.r.



i am home now and finally 

have spent 19 days home.

i feel every pain and i feel

every time that i feel good



yes, i am never marking

time again.....there is

something about fighting

for your life and your sanity

that straightens things out.



i don't recommend it but

i wish i could let your hearts

know what i know.

janetta


Details | Quatrain | |

Redeye Gravy

Now sits the redeye gravy in the pan
It certainly is not at all like jam
Mom made it years ago  for her man
Fry some country ham, pour  coffee bam

Never knew why it was called redeye
Then my grandson informed me just why
Men who had been out late had bleareye
Who looked like they had been drip-dry

I always thought that it was because
It had dark red color from drippings
In my home it  got an applause
I thought that it was God's blessings

I learned my husband doesn't like it
My grandson doesn't like redeye gravy
When I make it only make a bit
Always redeye gravy left heavy

Today decided to place on grits
Feed to the cats see if they like it
Now cat is running around won't sit
I guess that caffeine gave them lift


Details | Rhyme | |

A Grandmother

A grandmother is someone who loves you and your soul
Someone who hugs you when you feel alone

She reads bedtime stories for you
And when you sleep she does the same too

She is the one who gifts you hugs and kisses
And when you are not there next to her you are the one she misses

For you she will be on her toes the whole time
And give you whatever you want from a stuff toy to a lime

She is the one who comforts you and loves you from her heart
And doesn’t care if you are dumb or smart

She is a person you can never forget
For if you want to also she will never let :)


Details | Rhyme | |

Lady bug Lady Bug

 
 
Lady bug 

Lady bug lady bug it is fun to play and look at you, 
you seem to increase in size whenever we live in some place new, 
you hide in my toy, you hide in my closet
what am I am going to do with you? 
Lady bug lady bug look at you, when I turn on the lights
you run with your friends and fly away too. 
  
Lady bug Lady Bug 
I am getting tired of you, you run and 
alluding me in to my shoes, even when I am over you,
eating my food, you look and seem
 you want me to bless you to. 
  
Lady bug lady bug I am not having fun with you, 
I am getting my mom and dad to get the 
exterminator to get with you and your crew. 
  
This poem is about a five years old kid who never saw North and 
South American cockroach in his young life.

 Poetry 11/26/10 by Keith K. Relf


Details | Light Poetry | |

I AM THE GENERATION GAP

I often think okay I am not that old. I am a pretty cool grandma.. I grew up where mom was the lover, protector and most of all the boss.. I never would have thought to slam a door in my mothers face.. She  would have broken it down and beat me with door frame that fell off…but that was way way back when.. You know the time where no one had a cell phone and didn’t care.. No one had computer at home …we did have a typewriter but I am the only one that used it.. We had a small record player and I had vinyl records ..oh how I could rock with Elvis, now I don’t understand the names of groups let alone what they are saying … probably better off not knowing.  We wore jeans back then but they were not the staple in our closets, now the are a must have for $100.00 wow I could have bought a whole fall wardrobe for that and a coat..
Food has changed the rule at our house was if Mom put it on the table we ate it or went hungry.. Now every one has to have a special meal.. and manners those are a thing of the pass, I rarely hear a teenager or anyone else say yes sir or no sir.. It is a thing of the past and people don’t speak like that anymore.. Stop talking now means ok lets see who can talk the loudest and longest.  My mom had a look that said you had better shut up right now or I am going to kill you.. She wouldn’t kill us but she sure would make us pay ..  We went to church on Sunday or Monday if mom said so..
I am sure my granddaddy often thought what is wrong with this generation they will never survive.. But the most of us have and now we think this of the next generations to come.. But I really realized how old I was today when my 16 year old grandson, walked on my new mopped kitchen floor and when I said the floor is wet.. He very calmly replied not to  bad.. Laughing as I finish this life has definitely changed.. but 50 years from now he will probably be thinking the same thing I am … where is this generation going to go?????????


Details | Free verse | |

VEGGIE SOUP FOR HUNGRY CHILDREN

Soup tastes better
when its ingredients are veggies
with enough noodles
to give it a tempting look.
All the pasta letters of the alphabet
can be stirred in it until they cook well.
I see some children drool,
watching it with hungry eyes, but seeming cool...
while mom warns them of the hot steam,
" Don't stick your nose in that pot...you'll get burned! "
Finally, the veggie soup is ready...
every bowl is filled to the rim, 
" Yummy ", one says licking his lips.
" Dig in, kids...it's mommy's soup, the best ever! "
She tells them with a thrill that delights them all.
" One thing you've forgotten to say...
what was your letter? " Mine is A, " I yelled.
" Good, boy...I am going to reward with another bowl of soup!" 


Details | Haiku | |

Triple Haiku-SNOW AND WONDERMENT

JACK'S SNOWMAN

It took three whole days
for Jack to build a snowman;
he's as tall and strong


THRILLED BY SNOW

They are thrilled and scream..
playing in the deep, fresh snow;
they cannot their mom 


PONDERING MYSTERY

Heart, take a quick look: 
isn't winter's glittering snow 
so mysterious?



Details | Tail-rhyme | |

What cha say bout my MAMA

Look at him.
Despecable human being.
I just wish i could,
beat him,
just for breathin'

Lying his way through, life,
like a boxer bobbin' and weavin'

I just wanna beat him for decievin'
like a politician running for office,
buildin' up our hopes,
pretendin' to make our dreams, 
come true,
but whatever you do,
don't believe 'em.

Instead place your trust in me,
cause I come up with a way that no one
could blame,me,
nor put to shame,
any of us, especially me.

As I commence to walk up to him asking five little words,
before the first blow,uppercut,combo
is thrown,
laying him flat upon his back,
as everyone proceeds to laugh, when I ask
What cha say about my Mama????
that puts an end to that drama!!!!


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Is It A Dream World

A funny little clown, a bright red nose.
Lots of make-up, and bright blue bows.

Children laughing, some fat and some thin.
Either dressed in new clothes or rags that are faded and dim.

Pretty white ponies with beautiful glittery saddles.
And again, those funny clowns are hitting eachother with paddles.

One clown keeps fallimg and pretending to cry.
The other is daydreaming and lets out a big sigh.

There are beautiful ladies whose costumes are rare.
And a man who scares the children by dressing up as a bear.

Fantasizing is a convienient thing, it keeps the shock low.
So the surprise about the real world won't be such a big blow.

"Surprised about what"? is what you ask next.
Its something you can't learn in a text.

You'll learn about life by the things you go through.
You'll learn about whats fake and about what is true.

You'll see that the clowns are still funny and have a red nose.
But then you'll see realize only money buys the ladies rare clothes.

That's also when you realize your clothes are faded and dim.
And you recognize how many times you've been beaten by him.

Yes, those clowns with paddles are at it again.
Funny. They are married and they're children number ten.

Thier children are scared and crying in bed.
Because thier big mean daddy made thier sweet mommy dead.


Details | Rhyme | |

Mother Nature

The day was bright and sunny
The temperature was high
With skylarks singing sweetly
As they hovered in the sky

The babbling brook was babbling
To the sighing of the trees
The butterflies were coasting
Way up high upon the breeze

I gazed at all the wonders
Mother nature had in store
And I marvelled at her beauty
As I stood outside my door

That life affirming moment
Sent a shiver down my spine
So I went to watch the tele
With another glass of wine


Details | Free verse | |

Life Goes On

No, I cannot remember the moment life began for me in my mother’s womb: You know, a 
brand new creation after leaving my father to stick to my mother for nine months, like would never happen again.  
 
Neither can I remember when I traveled the birth canal to enter the world that awaited my presence. Actually, they were the wrong hands that I entered: the very ones that 
disconnected me from my mother and slapped me on the bottoms to hear me say what was on my mind, just for that moment!  
 
I do believe most of us have been there. 
 
Well, here’s a bit more that we can agree on: 
 
From there, life goes on….


Details | Rhyme | |

beware there in

Dad heard a scream from up stairs,
He ran to his son’s rescue and found him in tears.
“What’s the matter son?” Dad gently said,
There’s, there’s a monster in the bathroom and I’m really scared.

“It’s lumpy and hairy with a warts on it legs,”
“And on it’s chest it has what looks like two scrambled eggs”
“It’s belly hangs all the way down to it’s knees
“Daddy, daddy, protect me please!” 

“It knows my name, it, it said it through a toothless grin,”
“It’s face is vomit green.”
“Enough,” said Dad smiling, “There’s no such thing.”
A rumbling noise came from the bathroom.
Go see Dad but come back soon.

Dad stood by the bathroom door for a while be fore he went in
And when he opened it his terrified son heard dad scream.
The monster had a huge wart on it’s bum
That's when dad recognized it and said “ Son needs therapy now How could you mum”

*For Lisa who gave me the title. I hope it is good for you as it was for me :-)*


Details | Couplet | |

When the Kids Went With Dad

Chicken, potatoes, and cold pumpkin pies
The food on the table is covered with flies

White ones and red ones and black ones and blue
Just look at that mountain of laundry to do

Dishes and pot lids and pans that are green
Oh, look at this pile of dishes to clean

Here there is carpet but there there is none
I wish that this pile of garbage was done

Smudges on windows and dents in the doors
Remains from the hundreds of food fights and wars

Couches all tattered and furred by the cats
A mound of cracked snow boots and sweaty old hats

Dishes or laundry or piles of goo
I have me a plan and I know what to do

Toss 'em out windows or down the front stairs
I know this is cheating but who really cares?

Out goes the laundry and stashes of junk
From Adam's green apron to gramma's old trunk

There go the dishes all covered in mold
Along with some food that is forty years old

Off with that chair and "The Three Little Pigs"
Things that are broken and "How to Grow Figs."

Off with this junk that my kids left behind
This statue of rocks and a petrified rind


Details | Cowboy | |

Untitled

Tainted love 
or tired love?
Smug attitudes
and weak games
Look at you!
Your such a lame!
Me cry?! Ha! Not no more!
NOT EVER!
Five point five years
What a joke?!
All you do is lie
Keep smoking your life away!
Wake up before its too late!
Before this love turns into hate!
Your too old to act this way!
Your too comfortable
You cant stay!
In my life!
In my way!
Goodbye to you!!!


Details | Free verse | |

Crackers ‘n' Cheese

I was a-munchin’ ‘n’ a-crunchin’ on some crackers ‘n’ cheese
When a-someone or a-somethin’ came ‘n’ tickled my knees –

With her tail up in the air in a question mark tease,
‘Twas my little grey kitten mewin’ wide-green eyed pleas –

Beggin’ of her human, “Oh kind human, please
Won’t you let me share in yer crackers ‘n’ cheese?”

I looked into her tiny face ‘n’ made the choice with ease –
Doncha know that to my heart this kitten holds the keys?

I felt her purrs flow past me, a gentle, liltin’ breeze,
 ‘N’ now my kitten’s doin’ the munchin’ on my crackers ‘n’ cheese!


Details | Rhyme | |

Sex Sells

You asked,
“Daddy, where’d I come from?” in your cute and charming way
The time was early morning ‘bout 6 bells
Confused you looked at my reply I guess you had to bat an eye
When I turned and said, “Because my dear, sex sells”.

You sat there for a moment thinking long and hard
Until a light bulb lit up overhead 
“Did you purchase mommy?”
“No” I laughed out loud and with that look upon your face
I knew an explanation further need be said

You see, about eight years ago while we were up real late
You’re mommy said “Let’s watch the Late, Late Show”
There was music from a band and a brunette finely tanned
And a skit about a giant talking taco
When the guests were interviewed the conversation turned quite lewd
And your mother said “Why don’t you get some beers”
I put on my coat and hat, grabbed my keys, hurdled the cat
and headed to the liquor store most near

Upon my arrival, I headed for the cooler
Looking for your mommy’s favorite brand
Along the way I got distracted (this part will have to be redacted)
But the blond really turned your daddy on
Then to make the matters worse I bumped into a nurse 
Who was wearing a provocative bikini
I covered up my eyes and much to my surprise
It was a cardboard ad for some no name brand martini

Now don’t misunderstand, I’m an ordinary man
And I’m as loyal as loyal can be
But just that simple trip, like the cat with her catnip
Made me really, really, really frisky 
Which just to prove my point, don’t let your nose get out of joint
There is no myth here that one can dispel
It’s now a part of life and it often causes strife
The simple fact is that its true…..sex sells

So home I did return and found your mother on the couch
She had changed into a teddy black and red
We popped open the beer, she placed a kiss upon my ear
So I picked her up and whisked her off to bed
To your imagination the next part will be left
Save to say that we had a lot of fun
By the time that we were through we started creating you
And in less than twenty minutes we were done


Well that look upon your face says you didn’t understand
So I’ll tell you what my father told my brother
When it comes to birds and bees and making new babies
All I can say is “Go and ask your mother”
So you did that very thing and a surprise to me did bring
That makes my chest two times begin to swell
For your mother’s answer too, just like what I had said to you
It’s a simple fact of life…..sex cells.



Details | Rhyme | |

real story

Once upon a time there was a son and his mum
He wanted to marry and mother agreed in a glum
But asked her sunny to show her a photo 
Of  that heart fighter from Rome or Kyoto
The son brought three photos 
Three creature of God
Three pearls from ocean,
Three petals from roses. 
And told that one is whom he dreams
 Whole nights losing sleep
Described his feelings so pure and deep
Look here my dear, look here my maa
 One is too close to my heart and others so far.
I wonder could you find
Which of them is my sweet heart
Do Mums know sons test
As somewhere I heard.
Mum looked at photo
For several minutes
And said: “she is!”
The sun was so shocked –
“How clever mum is?!”
“How did you guess about it
They all bonny and fair
If ones eyes are like diamonds
Second is milky white
Third is waved hair”.
How you could find my lover
From the only attempt
So easy and clear 
As in her brow was a stamp?
Did you like her eyelids what makes me mad?
Or liked her chicks as liked you dad?
“NO” said a mother with disgruntled face:
“When I look at this girl I am nervous”
 




 



Details | Rhyme | |

Fluff and Stuff

Silly kittens made of fluff
Pouncing, sliding, snagging stuff
Butterflies that float on by
Out of reach but still they try

Rolling wrestling cotton balls
Soon so tired from their falls
Lying down with mommy purring
Not a kitten soon is stirring


Details | Rhyme | |

The Best Gift Ever

The best gift I received was a cover 
In 1975 from my mother
You are thinking ‘that’s a terrible presents’ 
But back then we were cold, hungry peasants. 
It was fluffy polyester with rayon
Or was it pink polyester and nylon?
It was labeled a ‘velvety soft mink’
Never washed it became the ‘pink stink’
I would turn myself into a taco
And feel like I’d won life’s big lotto. 


Details | Limerick | |

That's What Mothers Are For

Will you choose your mother or me
Asked wife who would not let it be
As I said oh brother
Sought help from another
And I called her mother to see


Details | I do not know? | |

Something for the weekend

We’re preparing the house for invasion
They’ll be here pretty soon, there’s no doubt
The valuable things, have been tucked away
Some items, sans worth, we’ve left out

There are locks on all of the cupboards
The breakable pieces are hidden
To stop those inquisitive hands
Some rooms, will now be, forbidden

With toddlers about to arrive
For a weekend of laughter and frolics
If these grand parents hope to survive
They will need to become alcoholics 

But we sit and drink tea in the parlour
It passes the time while we’re waiting
Tea helps to quell, the nerves that you feel
When you’re infanticipating


Details | Rhyme | |

My Family and Me

It's amazing how quick things can change.
First your running with the kings, and then you're knocked out of range.
It's strange. I used to worry and stress over friends.
Now I've grown to be a man. Maybe know a few of them.
All that time I could of studied. Did better in school.
Got a job and made it big. Maybe now I'd be cool.
Who's the fool? Now who's the bull? I know that's not me on the top.
Life is always making turns weather you like it or not.
The past will always be the past. My glory days may seem gone.
But, now its time to start a new.The stories keep coming on.
I've got a new girl. She means the world to me.
She keeps me warm at night, my best friend, my new dream.
Since my car accident, still got a limp on one side.
Still working with my memory, still need a friend who can drive.
I love to Karaoke. I get noticed in bars.
My mom's always there to catch me. Tom's working with my mom's cars.
My sister's in the Army, my niece is a big part of my life,
Friend Zach keeps assholes off me, and God is my wife.
AJ's always there to help, Brian is my LOST bud,
Mary's out of school, Lil cousin, Hunter's a stud.
Grandpa still is my idol, JT is still the music man .
The Adam's still can party. Chris, living good on the sand.
I may only use one hand, but I plan to be the best.
At all I do in life, cause there's not that much time left.
The blood test that I took says Landon is mine.
I hope this all works out fine in time and help to make my son's life shine.
JC who's down in Georiga, my heart is screaming for you.
I hope that you recover well. It can't be worse then what I went through.
Uncle Jimmy where you at? Where's Matt, Corie, and Pete?
I know you all are doing good. Serviolo's are a hard team to beat.
How's the rest of the family? I love and miss you all!
I hope you all are standing tall and I pray we never fall.
These last words that I say, I say only to you.
We've got the best family in the world and you know I LOVE YOU!


Details | Rhyme | |

The Mum

The first to wake
Another day
Another show
Boom boom, shake shake
Sleepy yawns
Wakey wake

Supermarket run
I used to find them so much fun
Until she decided to scream and shout
Bring it on girl
Loud and all out
I’ll just go and hide on my cloud

Ready steady bake
Last to eat the cake
“Have you had some Mum?”
No darling, you take

Mechanical moves
Automated mind
Generally
I don’t mind
I’d like for you to shed me
Some kind
Spend some time
To simply find
It’s healthy at times to be blind

I push, I pull
Kids to school
I wish I were just 
Horizontal in a pool

I could just walk out
“No mum that’s not cool”
Would I be such a fool?
But I’m the queen you know
I make the rules

The irritating whining song
A bell at the door
Ding-dong
I really need a manicure; it’s been so long
Door again
Ting tong
“What took you so long?”
I’m sorry 
I was busy window-shopping in Hong Kong

“Where’s my glove mum?”
Deep breathes, play dumb
“Where’s my recorder mum?”
One, two, three
Numb numb
“Sweetheart bring me the remote”
Here darling, stick it up your bum

The first to wake
The first to leave home
I want to be first in bed some days
To sit around and just laze
I need a haircut, some highlights
“Are you listening mum?”
Always! 


Details | Burlesque | |

Ahhhhhhhh~!

I am only one person…I am only one mom
One parent today who can’t seem to hold on~
Their demands are so plenty
I tolerate it all
There is no one but me
Only MOM……when they call!
I am withering away….I am usually so patient 
But just for today Lord
Make them stop calling MOMMY 
               please …….. just for one second!

I clean up their room ….put their animals back
To my utter amazement 
                            ….one throws an attack
The animals are all strewn back on the floor
Now their room is a mess just like before!
Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Should someone relate to my annoyed frustration
In me please confide~
I feel like I am losing it ….and I just wanna cry!~

I want to pull out my hair……I have nothing to lose
They are only children….Far from perfect, it’s true
But just for a moment …I shall hide in my room!  
Now since I’ve been writing
                                          …my son fell asleep
My daughter cleaned up all the mud from outside
In my room as I write all the thoughts in my mind
Lord blessed me just now
                                 ….and some peace I shall find!

By Jane Bowen



Details | Rhyme | |

THERE'S NO ESCAPE FROM CERTAIN THINGS

Checking the lights on the dashboard when they flash and stay red:
it's the oil that needs to be changed or the engine that requires
maintenance, and in frigid temperatures who would venture outside and get frostbites?
A car is a necessity, a commodity and besides daily pleasure, it may cost a lot indeed.



Running to the grocery store through the backdoor when milk is low,
and guests wait for a fresh coffee pot and you put on a face not so mellow,
and much worse when you forget the roast in the oven...the bird you admire, 
and smoke fills your kitchen...you just dial 911 and scream, " My house in on fire! "


But the worst one that can send you into havoc...
when the mean kid down the block throws a rock
and your window shatters and the cat flees with the swiftest animal beat,
but the dog gets vicious and runs after him by exposing his sharp teeth. 



Ever forgot to send your mom a Christmas or Easter card?
She'll call you the same day knowing that the Post office won't deliver,
and what her voice will sound like? Soft or harsh, or angry as a bard? 
I can imagine the words she will say, " Have you forgotten something, dear? "



These are just few of them that can drive you crazy like wild kids who love to fight
and make you head spin and ache until you sit down and take a break by a lamplight,  
" Ouch!" You got burned from the splashing water while draining your steamy pasta...
you complain,"It's overcooked and not al dente!" And like mother you exclaim,"Basta!"



* The word "Basta" in Italian means " It's enough "


Details | Footle | |

Cupcakes

Mum makes,
Cupcakes.

No sugar,
Oh B****r!


Details | Limerick | |

Ma Dropping It Like Its Hot (Limerick)

Ms. Potter caught her daughter Lollipop
There dancing in the grocer’s parking lot
And scolded her profusely
‘Til someone cranked up “Juicy”…
Ms. Potter stopped and dropped it like it’s hot


Comments:
How soon some forget that they were once young too. If the power of dance is ones 
passion it is not the worst vice a child can have, in fact it is good exercise.  One 
Love


Details | Couplet | |

Answer to The Childs Thanksgiving Prayer written By Tony Lane

Lord in answer of prayer
Child of mine. I must admit I don’t hear from you very often,
Your brother though is quite devout, to him your heart should soften.

He say’s he works hard to me -  but that you will blame him.
For anything you don’t do, and you will try to shame him.

Your brother, put in a plea for you, and not for a new bike.
You had better try harder, boy before I give you what you like.

I even hear from your teacher, he’s his own wits end,
He prayed for the cane to come back, so your ways you better mend.

Your mother tries so very hard it’s not her cooking at fault,
Its you and your picky ways, so they had better halt.

Your mother works hard and has little time to bake you pumpkin pie,
You're lucky boy to have gravy, never mind the turkey dry.

Your granddad needs a rest, don’t be a pest, he’s getting on you know.
As for grandma she puts up with all of you, so let the wines flow.

Your big sister, her father has already requested the boyfriends’ disappearance.
I’m working on that and everything else, so just give me a chance.

The neighbour’s - well they have not said, anything about you.
They just prayed that your family would go out, and then come back without you.

So listen boy the lord has spoken, and you better hear me well.
Cos come next thanksgiving year, You may hear from him below.


Details | Free verse | |

Supermarket Daze

SUPERMARKET DAZE

Gross overweight    reflections

gleam off stainless steal

 bins, filled with frozen TV dinners.

Obese mothers Jam

peppermint suckers down

 children’s tearful mouths

-temporary peace.

Hamburger helper, pepsi-lite

National Inquirer  , Rovers dog food

-frantic search for penny full bargains.

Torn pantyhose

wheel aisle after aisle.

 mountains of pot pies, ice cream, potato chips, red chips, blue chips 

freeido chips

Must hurry.

Get more. 

Get more of  those treats 

need  more meat .

Shopping daze fever

cart wheel out the street.


Details | Shape | |

' Scents ... (or Tea - Baby) '

S                                      S
                                           C
                                                E
                                                     N
                                                    T
                                                  S
          I So, Love  The  Scent,  of A Fresh, Cup Of  Tea
         Like,  I  Love The Smell, of  A  Fresh-Bathed Baby
         Both,  Are So Very Delicate, Soothing &        Sweet
         Both,  Are  A Unique, Fragile-Moment       Complete
         And  With  Rose  Petals  and  Soft  Lavender Scents
         And Apple-Blossoms, Honey and Fresh Peppermint
          All  Come In Lotions Or Talc-Powder  For Baby
           And In My Teacup, These Aromas Are Tasty
            I So Love The Scent of Steeped-Leaf Tea
               And A Fresh -Bathed, Gurgling Baby
                Come, Sip A Cup  of Tea With Me
                   While I Hold & Sniff The Baby


Details | Rhyme | |

The Mother-in-Law at the Door

The Mother-in-Law at the Door

By Elton Camp

The doorbell’s ring brings Sue to the door
A quick peek shows one she’s seen before

It is her mother-in-law standing out there
Come without calling, how does she dare

This isn’t the first time she’s pulled that trick
Having her visit today makes Sue feel sick

It is in her ragged bathrobe that she’s dressed
From end-to-end, the house is quite messed

While Mother Roberts is wearing a new suit
Even at her age, she looks very prim and cute

Her white gloves show what Sue does fear
To make an inspection is why she is here

She can already almost hear her sneer
“My son is in a dilemma, I greatly fear.”

“As a child, he liked things neat and clean.
My dear, I hope you understand what I mean.”

“When I think of the girls he might have wed,
It causes an ache right in the front of my head.”

Sue quietly slipped into the closet to hide 
And left Mother Roberts standing outside


Details | Free verse | |

Go Tell

When I went out on the porch this morn, tiny spider's mother had strung her web
across right in front of the door..

I did not tell cute tiny spider to go on down yonder and get your mother

No, this mother was scary drawn up with her feet pulled in a ball

When she stretched out, why I had to move on 

She straightened me out right fast..

Mothers are like that when their child is threatened.. 


Just had to write this being Halloween is coming up soon...


Details | Narrative | |

GERTY GRIBBLE'S DILEMMA

My aunty Gerty Gribble was a true blue pioneer 
as she and husband Harold ran a place called 'Bendemere'. 
Two dinkum Aussie battlers, who had given their life's blood 
to fifty years of toiling on their outback cattle stud. 
 
So constant had the struggle been that Gert would often quote, 
she'd worked her tiny butt off just to keep the place afloat. 
The hours were so demanding she had no time for romance  
and motherhood had passed her by, she never got the chance. 
 
Old Gert was old and wrinkled when they gave the game away, 
though fit as any Mallee bull and jogged ten k a day. 
They bought a little donga in a Queensland coastal town, 
but sadly, being childless often got old Gerty down. 
 
She knew that her poor Harold was beyond it, without doubt, 
so Gert would try a new technique that she had read about.   
"You're far too old for IVF," the Doctor kindly said, 
but Gert was not to be put off, she forged on right ahead.  
   
"It happens that my Harold has been looking to donate  
a hundred thousand dollars to a worthy cause of late. 
However if you cannot help".  "You'll make a lovely Mum 
I'm sure ... so may I ask would next week be to burdensome?" 
 
Aunt Gert she fell first time it seems and had a little boy, 
which left her Harold overwhelmed and Gerty filled with joy. 
This news then spread like fowl manure and folk were left enthralled, 
The Premier and local Mayor among the first who called. 
 
One day while I was driving past I thought I'd duck in too 
and see my little cousin ... sort of pop in out the blue. 
Aunt Gert was glad to see me, but she asked if I could wait  
until he woke from sleeping, though did not elaborate.  

Within the hour to my surprise ten other folk called by 
and aunty Gert told them the same and I was dumbstruck why. 
We sat and dunked our biscuits in the tea she'd kindly made 
while Gert was scratching her old head and looked somewhat dismayed. 
 
The Doctor from the clinic, who'd been playing basketball, 
had wondered how Gert's baby was and thought he'd make a call. 
"It's nice your dropping in" she said, "but Doctor would you mind 
just waiting till the baby wakes - I'm in a  kind of bind." 
 
"A problem Gert?" the Doctor said, "There something I can do?" 
"Not really Doc.  He's sound asleep,  these folk are waiting too. 
I'd show you him asleep and all, if that is what you'd like,  
but Doc, I can't recall just where I put the little tyke."


Details | Rhyme | |

Poetry About Poetry

Shades of color bounce within
Singing their hues dancing in place
Vivid lines colored outside
Rules broken with empty space
A midnights dream heard and seen
Gleaming from the twinkle of a eye
Wings touched flown and plucked
Gliding like a bird up in the sky
Wishes from pennies thrown into tears
The reservoir over flowing with pigments of pain
Drowning from the shadows 
The flood paints the day
Words speak volumes of silence hidden
Their sounds blind to what they see
Mirrors of nouns and verbs 
Their meaning and secrets lost at sea
Emotions ruled by laws of language
Spelled in boxes of glass
Melted from sands inside
That voices strangle to grasp


Details | Rhyme | |

HOMESICK EXCUSES from a child

HOMESICK EXCUSES

So sorry…..
I can’t spend the night--
Would give my daddy jitter fright.
My mother would not sleep at all,
If I don’t kill bugs as they crawl.

If I ‘m not there to scrub the sink,
Neither one would sleep a wink.
I can’t spend the night---
Nightmares will chase them left to right.
If I don’t stay with mom and dad,
Who’ll keep my dog from getting sad?

I can’t spend the night.
I would like to,
But isn’t right.
Must tuck my daddy safe in bed,
Listen to the prayers he’s said.
Kiss my mother on her face--
So she knows I’m in my place.

I would love to stay with you,
But my parents need me too!


Details | Rhyme | |

Patience

Dear Patience was a hasty girl
Whose rising claim to fame
Was throwing toys and 
tantrums and
Not acting like her name.

And when she didn’t get her 
way,
She’d stomp her little feet
Or stick out her big, nasty 
tongue
At any one she’d meet.

One day she whined and cried 
out loud
“I wanna see the zoo!”
So off they drove to make the 
trip
Before her temper grew.

While father treated her to 
sweets
And bunches of balloons,
She teased the wading polar 
bears
And scared the young baboons.

Distracted by a tiger’s roar
She ran on towards the cage,
Enchanted by his fiery stripes
Zigzagging ‘cross the stage.

“Oooohhh, can I pet the pretty 
cat
And give him some popcorn?”
When mother firmly told her 
“No,”
She scowled at her with scorn.

“Alright, alright,” her mother 
said.
“Just don’t go in the pen.”
But no one read the posted 
sign-
“All Tigers Feed at 10”

Dear Patience did not stop to 
think
That tiger wasn’t tame,
And soon enough she earned 
herself
A brand new claim to fame.

When she waltzed in the cage 
and said,
“Sit down, big tiger, sit.”-
Her parents lost their Patience 
and
Now tiger’s full of it!


By Susan Burd © 2011


Details | Free verse | |

My Mother Part 1

From a distance, she is full of grace
Floating in the air in an angel’s space

Perfectly dressed, not a hair out place
Diction is perfect, she is articulate

Back straight, shoulder’s down
Head back, do not look around

She smell’s of flowers, has skin like silk
Drives a car the color of milk

Educated, debutant, and elite
Recognized everywhere, even on the street

Green paper not an issue
“God Bless You” she will give you a tissue

Family dinners, proper seating
Forks, knives, spoons all know their places

Napkins play a part, before we can begin to start
Only one arm you have when you eat

And, God forbid, you had better be neat!
For this is not a party for dinner

This is an actual event....

My hair is quite chaotic
The clothes on my back make me look like I am going to attack

The color of my car looks like a green vegetable
Educated still trying, proper I want to pop her.

My green paper is made of construction
Utensils, I only use a fork by reason of deduction.

Look, two arms I have “that's neat!” dear God I’m hungry, let’s eat!


Holly P. Moore
October 2012


Details | Free verse | |

Stinky

Outside with one shoe

The shoe I took from the dumpster

My hair is filled with flies

Oh do I stink

Brown flames comes up from my butt

Flies come by my way

They all die

 

Oh do I stink

Never in life was I applause for my smell

Can it be that bad

I guess so

Since everyone has abandoned me

 

My teeth so rotten 

It scares the mirron into broken pieces

Yellow as a my grandmother big toe nail

Stink bomb comes my way

I can't hold it in

I let in the air

BOOOOM

Everyone dies

But me

Oh do I stink


Details | I do not know? | |

You THINK?

You think you might be in love.

You think he/her might be in love with you.

You think about a lot of things. Do you really know those things?

You think a lot, you worry a lot. 

But do you really HAVE to think or worry about those things?
  Or do you WAN'T to think or worry about those things?

Now that there is something to think about.

 
   

              *please leave a comment if you like it or fav poem if you might*
                                           
                                         -Angel4eva23


Details | Free verse | |

The Guardian of the Morning Light

The Guardian of the Morning Light,
Creeps out of his little space warm and soft.
No one will waste that precious morning light.
Our little fur ball will see to that.
Oh ye of little sleep… 
Give up the covers or ye will weep.
The door becomes his drums, 
To announce the morning rays of the sun.
He wakes the dogs up to whine and pace, 
Eventually they will lick our face.
The window curtains will begin to part till they…
Shower our faces and eyes with light… not soft.
Then the bed begins to shake…
As everyone begins the climb to our face.
But the secret weapons are about to come in.
The kitty has awoken the little children.
Cold feet assail us as they climb in place.
The dreams of a cuddle are now replaced…
But tomorrow will be another day
If I could only find a place to keep him at bay.
ZZZ’s are the treasure of days gone by…
But the future is richer with all these guys.

Now, if only, the Guardian of Light will be polite
And give us one more minute of sleepy respite…


Details | Limerick | |

His Trip To The Moon limerick

There once was a boy we called chase-face
he dreamed of reaching outer space.
With this dream in his heart
our family will part
and this boy we never could replace.

We all dreaded that day late in June
when we knew he would fly to the moon.
So a party we had
even though we were sad
as the countdown was scheduled for noon.

Chase couldn't get rid of the grin
or the drool that was right on his chin.
He was laughing so loud 
while we stood watching proud.
His journey would finally begin.

The trip was a total success.
Of course, we expected no less.
We've done all we can.
He now is a man
and all that he sees he will bless. 


Details | Narrative | |

Creature

Observing. 
Frozen in time,
captivated by this enormous being,
the size of a small car.

Pondering, 
his every move.
The way he used his hands;
so child-like.
With all the consciousness of the world, 
and graceless coordination.

Aware.
of the visitors,
as they briefly called out for his attention.
Only for a moment,
then they were gone.

Untamed,
in an orderly sham. 
He sat there,
in his dark cave.
As if he was waiting for the light to find him.

Perched,
on a boulder, 
squatting, and primitive.
Drawing in the dirt with one hand. 
Swatting a fly with the other.

Surreal,
His nature,
as he rushed to consume his food.
The females hovered behind him,
watching intently, 
like me.
His movement mechanic.
His presence powerful.
He was the king of his domain.

Studying, 
his magnificence, I watched.
How smart was he?
Could he feel my presence? 
Engulfed in the very essence of all that was him, 
I watched. 

Wondering, 
how he felt, I watched.
Did he think he was still in the womb of Mother Nature?
Or, did he know the iron bars which embrace him now?

Then 
it happened;
our eyes met.
He noticed my presence.
His gaze intimidated me, 
But I did not look away.
He approached me.
I felt his eyes inspecting my soul.
A chill ran down my back,
I turned behind me,
only to find no other presence there.
When I turned back, 
we were face to face.
Separated by the sham,
And a two inch piece of glass.
Just me and him,
the two of us,
and the females hovering behind him.

Wise,
His old eyes spoke to me,
They said 
“I am like you. 
I love, I feel, I hurt.
I am, like you.”

Sympathetic,
I put my hand on the glass
and with all the 
consciousness of the world,
he did the same.
With tears in my eyes,
I smiled.

Then, he pooped in his other hand
and wiped it on the glass.
This was a sign of endearment.
I laughed out loud.
And I swear,
He smiled back.


Details | Free verse | |

Mama's Eyes

Remember when you were a kid
and you wish you'd gone and hid?
Mom gave you that look
from the corner of her eye 
that said
you'd been caught in a lie.
With just one look
that's all it took
and you begin to cry.
With the narrowing of her eyes
that filled you with dread
making you wish that you were dead.
Then the look straigght down the nose 
as her head rose
told you
in the story you're telling
you'd gone too far
and thought it 
just a little bizarre.
How about when you were about to do wrong.
Something you know your not to do
With her head down
she'd look up at you
and her eyes would say.
I wouldn't do that if I were you..
Then there's that look
when you've done it anyway
and your're on the run
for it did say.
Now your're all done
and by the seat of your pants you'll pay.
The look I love most is the one
that came at the end of the day.
When she tucks you in bed
and kisses your head
her look would always say.
I love you child.
Not just for today
but always.

OOPS I forgot the eyes in the back of her head.


Details | ABC | |

Family Commandments

Family Commandments


Thou shall not pull thy sisters hair. Thou you shall chew thy food.
Thou shall not stay out until Midnight. Thou shall be in a better mood.
Though shall not answer me back. Thou you shall brush thy hair.
Though shall not wear that in public. Thou you shall behave in here.
Thou shall not give me cheek and run as fast as thou art.
Though shall not rush thy homework. Though you shall begin from the start..
Thou shall not scream at every opportunity no mater  if thy lungs be strong.
Thou shall not dance in tantrum. Thou you shall stay home where you belong.
Thou shall not eat me out of house and home. Though you shall get a job.
Thou shall not sit round like a bum. Thou you shall turn into a slob.
Thou shall not fight with your sister. Thou you shall give her a cuddle.
Though you shall not bunk away from school. Or Thou shall be in a muddle.
Thou shall not make noise while soaps are on, if you know what's good for thy ears.
Thou shall not blame your brother, Thou you shall see his tears.
Thou shall not ever worry, Thou I am here for you.
Thou shall not ever be sad. Thou you shall be happy It's true.
Thou shall not ever fret, even though we shall have our fears.
Thou shall never be alone. Thou you shall know we care.
Thou shall always have a life, Though u shall be happy and care.
Thou shall not have a problem alone. Thou you will know we are near.
Thou shall not take for granted, That shall be full of pride.
Though shall never wish for more, with thou family by thou side

By Shirley Moody


Details | Rhyme | |

It's my birthday

It's Your Birthday and quite an old age
Always in her  pajamas and acts on stage.
Shall we send another year with luck to her?
And maybe her eyesight is very, very blur!

Looked in the mirror, and wrinkles on her face,
Never to say, " I love you"  or get on her case.
Just a day over eighty-one and stubborn as can be,
Don't want to blow my candles, please set me free!

Ageless, grey hairs, wrinkles, and numbness in my body,
And I'm thankful I've lived this long, but now, I'm nobody!
So I shout once more, "It's your birthday", today
For we love you, never pain, or sorrow, please pray!

Another celebration filled with balloons and a pretty cake,
A long lifetime, please be nice to everyone, for God's sake!
You've been so grouchy lately, no smile, and tears on you,
On a special day like this, "I'ts your birthday", don't be a fool!


Details | Free verse | |

'MYOB"

MOMMA MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS 
TAKING ADVICE I WILL HAVE TO THINK
TWICE,
MARRIAGE IS A WONDERFUL INSTITUTION
THE PASTOR KINDLY REMINDED US OF THE
THREE FOLD CORD AND IT EXCLUDED YOU.....

MOMMA MIND YOUR MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS
I KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD AND
YOU DON'T WANT ME TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES
THANKS!................


Details | I do not know? | |

Graduation Day

Her eyes dancing with excitement
The joy cannot be contained
Today is graduation day
My sanity regained!

Her red gown pressed so neatly
Cap perfectly on her head
Tears are coming to my eyes
No matter what I said!

Call her name, Come on let’s go!
Across that stage so brave
One hand open, One hand up
Tell me she’s not going to wave!

The crowd goes wild for my little girl
She blows kisses to us all
Hands are waving in the air 
Please look out for the wall!

As she disappears from my sight
Her big debut’s been made
I can’t believe it’s finally over
Here we come 1st grade!


Details | Free verse | |

Have You Ever Loved Someone So Much You'd Cut An Arm Off For Them

Literally cut off an arm for them
                 shrivelling white bone protruding, screaming from the pale flesh
The ultimate expression of honey, darling, sweetheart
   and wonder.
Floating like cannonballs, just dying
 batteries. No more  struggling, flailing legs.
Excitedly scribbling next to me 
   a feeling like jeans upon your touch    or fresh toast
crisp yet damp.
  I’d just like to shake you. Rattle the bones beneath your
skull, maybe even kill a few brain cells if I feel like it 
   and where have they taken you, claiming you
but not my legs and arms. Perhaps I do not wonder enough 

Dangling on the edge of the world,
You do not forsake those offering solace
   Rather you slice and cut until the edge of the world ends 
And becomes your very own playground.
 Then you need not worry,
   but had better bloody worry.
After all it’s what makes you, and us, human. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Harriet-Part I

Sweet Harriet was born with hair
That made the townsfolk stop and stare.
It looked like gold that had been spun
And waved with sparkles in the sun.

Her mother would spend hours and days
Washing, combing; primping with praise,
“Your marvelous hair, it’s magnificent!”
And worth the time that I have spent.”

This ritual went on for years.
She was the envy of her peers.
But when she turned the age of ten,
She announced, “No brushing again.”

Or for that matter, to cut or wash
And soon she didn’t look so posh.
The neat braids once wore on her head
Just ended up in knots instead.

The kids made fun of her at school
As she ate with drips and drool,
Which slipped right through her golden locks
And oozed on down to stain her socks.

The ends that fell into her dish
Were crusted dry and smelled like fish
And turned into a long hair storm.
There was no hope for her reform.

Then one morning Harriet cried,
Beneath her mop, crusted and dried,
“I’m done with school-ain’t goin’ no more.”
Went back to bed and slammed the door.

She stayed all day inside her room
Because she wouldn’t wash and groom.
And it was days before she’d move-
Pure stubbornness!  What could she prove?

Her mother slid in plates of food.
She sat alone and stewed and chewed.
And soon poor Harriet was hid-
No one could tell she was a kid.

Her mother cried, “Oh, please come out!”
But Harriet would only shout,
“I won’t!  I shan’t!  You can’t make me!”
“I want my way!  Why can’t you see?”

Those first days turned into a week.
Her hair became a ratty peak.
She wouldn’t budge, no, not at all,
When friends or Auntie’s came to call.

In this bedroom she would sup-
Next to her window opened up.
Still making messes all around
With gobbling grunts and slurping sounds.

A bluebird flew in with a twig.
It landed on her matted wig
Then built a new nest with its beak
And set its roost upon the peak.

And every day that her hair grew
Her room became more like a zoo
Squirrels and rabbits moved on in-
They built their dens and raised their kin.

Her mom threw food in every day
And so the critters came to stay.
She set up camp upon the floor-
Her sweet appearance was no more.

Her mom checked on her every day.
Now and then Harriet would say,
“I won’t.  I shan’t.  You can’t make me.”
“I want my way.  Why can’t you see?”

The season brought a weather change.
Her hair became a messy mange.
Soon vines began to creep and crawl
Now that the season turned to fall.


Details | Rhyme | |

Mothers

How come mothers scold?
How come mothers yell? 
Then when they say they love you,
Sometimes you just can’t tell!
And sometimes when they yell all day, 
“I hope you burn in hell!” you say.

But then you have that talk,
And then you feel so bad.
You try to go apologize,
But think that she's still mad!
So you let her blow off some steam,
And pray it’s not as bad as it may seem.

You start out by saying, “Sorry,”
‘Cause you’re trying to be mature,
But the rest of it just won't come out,
And you’re feeling insecure…
You throw away your fears,
And express the rest in tears.

You know what you did,
And you know that you were wrong.
You've let your feelings out,
You know that you've been strong.
You pray she understands,
Your punishment is in her hands.

You regret those things you've said,
You say things when you’re mad.
But you've made matters better now,
And for this, your mom is glad.
She gives you her forgiveness,
And so your guilty feelings grow less.

So when your mother scolds,
And when she starts to yell,
Just know it’s ‘cause she loves you,
In case you just can't tell.
So when you feel like you’re in a ditch,
Remember, “Tough love can be a – well, you get the point I’m trying to pitch!”


Details | Verse | |

Face To Face

Joanna Davis

So many things to do today
My goodness I’ve no time to play
The washing, ironing, then the tea
tomorrow I’ll have more time for me!
Just let me get the shopping done,
can’t stop now…I’m on the run
So many things to hide behind
If there’s nothing to do~
Something I’ll find
I’ll dig myself in so deep
even my min’s no time to sleep
I can’t slow down or stop you see
or I might come face to face with me!


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Ain't Dreamin' of a Daddy

I'd like to do so much
With you
But that's
A hell of a lot
To ask of
A drinking man
Father-Daughter Dance
Huntin?
I'm from the South
And I ain't ahamed 
To say I ain't dreamin'
Of a Daddy
I got all I need
I got my Mommy
She's just as good 
And better
She's a fighter
We can live
Without you


Details | Rhyme | |

KiddieKat Crawl

Pitter Patter kitty's natter,
meow on the wall
eight to go after the fall-
what a whisker risk-er!
And such a minxy tinker!
The paws at the door
straight to the cupboard crumb
sneaky biscuits for the tum,
and into the hall a cry "Mum!-
What's for dinner?"


Details | Couplet | |

Little Children

Oh, what a joy little children are ! Juice in the video, sick in the car. Untidy bedroom, scattered toys, girls playing nurses with little boys. Dogs' tails being pulled, a cat's on fire, interrupting the moments of love and desire. Passing the blame for their little crimes, playing with frogs all covered in slime. Screaming their heads off in a plush restaurant, having a tantrum when refused what they want. Arriving home late covered in mud, not going to bed when they know they should. Non-stop talking while dad's watching telly, splashing the walls with ice-cream and jelly. Chocolate stains on their Sunday best, painting funny pictures on granddad's vest. Why do parents' voices echo from afar, Oh, what a joy little children are !


Details | Free verse | |

CREAMY ALFREDO WITH CHICKEN AND SPINACH

Chilled Pinot Grigio and Chianti
on each side of the long table,
twenty seats for twenty guests;
Antipasto with zesty dressing...
colorful vegetables with chunks
of sharp provolone and hard salami...
to be served with crunchy bread,
the kind that grandmother used to bake.
 

Oh, wait the Creamy Alfredo with chicken and spinach
is steaming on a huge serving plate...what a work of art!
Oh, the aroma of the Parmesan cheese
fills the nostrils with the urge to start;
one by one, the well-dressed guests walk
into the dining room...who said they are guests?


It's family: grandpa, grandma, uncles, aunts and cousins!
we'll surely enjoy this Sunday dinner as last week.
What about dessert? Sweet pastries and chocolate Tiramisu
with a strong cup of espresso and a shot of Sanbuca Romana;
would you like to join us and meet the friendly chef Mario? 
There's plenty of food for everyone...Buon Appetito!


Details | I do not know? | |

Happy Mother's Day

It is on this day that I must admire
Thinking back to the days when your “tough love” seemed to never tire
    And the thought of a shoe still sends chills up and down my spine
Oh wonderful woman, this mother of mine

With footwear in hand and compelling suggestions to see your way
It is not difficult to understand the knowledge of life that I have today
But to only remember the fear of these two 
One, the Good Lord Almighty and the other “the shoe” 

Remembering well all of the stories I told
Then fearfully watching your wrath unfold
The punishment of “the shoe” was well deserved
And how your abundant love was well reserved 

Remembering all of our “one-sided discussions”
Some resulting at the cost of a mild concussion
Dear mother, it is with confidence I can say
The love of my mother I would never change in any way

My mother dearest filled with love galore
It is the love you have for all I do adore
For it is the Fear of God and the Love of The Lord I remember most
And on this day it is my dearest mother I do boast     


Details | Rhyme | |

The random pumpkin

The flyer through the letterbox claimed 'pumpkins now half price'
I'll make a pie for Ma-in-law, for once do something nice
I was told to bring a wheelbarrow, maybe a pair of wellies
But all this preparation, still did not prepare me
For when I reached the pumpkin patch, behold, there dazzling bright
Were twenty seven pumpkins, none orange, but white!
I rubbed my eyes and scratched my head, but still they didnt change
And thought inside my muddled mind 'the grower must be strange'
But still I paid  the buying fee for my rare and freaky fruit
Rolled it in my barrow and squelched home in my boots
Then when I got it home I sat and stared an hour or two
I wanted orange pumpkin pie but white will have to do
I dont know yet how I'll explain this to my Ma-in law
She'll take one look at anaemic pie and laugh me out the door!
But beggars can't be choosers, I'm just gonna have to blag it
And next time I want pumpkin pie, go to the supermarket

27th October 2011


Details | Sonnet | |

Newly Laid Fire

The newly cut green oak sputtered and smoked
Until mother took paper torn crumpled
Added a few pine cones, kerosene, poked
The kinderling_off took the flame_bedazzled

Warmth spread in icy room but not far
Cold, icy wind entered through weatherboard's
Cracks, windows that rattled, spaces in floor.
At night, wind had played many seventh chords

Her strength to face and handle the day well 
In spite of surroundings, circumstances
Deep within was spring that did compel
Her like the energizer bunny bounces

Lighting the morn's fire a lesson in strength
Endurance in circumstances wavelength


Details | Burlesque | |

Of the current agonies of a mother

I welcomed home the latest of the fan specifics
A 52X72 Chelsea FC fleece Blanket that my daughter just picked
I wanted to dump the Chelsea fleece, the crest sofa and the team poster
But prompted myself to see it as warm, lightweight, 100% polyester

My daughter’s Chelsea spirit was not dying
Our recent acquisitions- a Chelsea neon clock, a football cushion, a key ring
More reasons to be optimistic I had to think of when she brought a Chelsea rug
Few mum for their morning coffee got to choose from a Chelsea stadium mug, Chelsea latte
mug, Chelsea crest mug, Chelsea black and silver mug, Chelsea new stadium mug and a Didier
drogba mug

I am a grieving mother to more than one aficionado
My son is in love with the renaissance art, bingo!
Art poster prints, wall calendars and statues of the Renaissance men
Over my dead body will I get him a Visconti Art pen

A look at the Virgin of the rock, and I was struck by the depth and the emotion
I no longer despised my son’s fascinating renaissance collection
Distressed I became, the world seemed to come to an end
When my son wished to see the Sistine Chapel ceiling within the Vatican

‘There’s somewhere here to see you, everyone hurry down’
My brother was visiting, for quite a while he had been out of town
They came rushing down exclaiming ‘Ballack!’ ‘Oh no, it’s Michelangelo!’
My 9 year old squealed ‘It’s my letter from Hogwarts, I’m ready to go!’


Details | Free verse | |

My Mother's Mistake

His vomit in the multicolored rocks,
Half-digested chicken breathing from his mouth
With each word bouncing out of his heaving body.
“What do you mean? What do you mean it’s over?”
Choking on his breath, his tears 
He is hunched like the Notre Dame man.
Patting his back, 
I wait for the moment to pass.
Mosquitoes buzzing in the yellow porch light,
Moon hanging in the black sky –
Winking down at us with his sly half grin – he knows,
Stars set to sparkle and shine, and
The warm sweet summer air,
Contaminated by the hunchback boy crying.

He had offered me a drink of Jack 
With the joint we smoked
Under the stairs of The King Pin 
But his chicken was obviously thirsty.
Drunken chicken then drove me home - 
On the back of a black crotch rocket - 
From a bowling date, a first date after six months 
Of sex in the small basement bed 
While the spiders watched. 

“I was going to marry you.”
Oh no, my dear boy. You were simply
The mistake I made for my mother.


Details | Quatrain | |

THE WATERMELON THIEVES

                                     THE WATERMELON THIEVES

Once when I was oh so young,
My mom decided she,
Would show us where some melons grew,
Beneath some large orange trees.

A farmer man she knew of,
Grew them there she said,
So folks would leave alone the fruit,
That grew above their head.

The melons were okay to take.
Just let the oranges be,
So off we went to pick some,
My mom, my sis and me.

I was only five years old,
So I sat in the car,
With Mama's friend who drove us there,
No light from moon or stars;

Because the orange trees blocked their light,
And I was sore afraid,
Because it was so dark in there,
Hidden in the glade.

Suddenly I saw my mom,
Running like the wind,
Right behind her came my sis,
A melon 'neath each limb.

Then in a flash my mom went down,
She tripped and broke her melons.
"Run Ruth, Run!" I heard her say,
They're runnin' and they're yellin'.

Mother! Wait! I heard Sis call,
For she had gone down too,
Stepped in a rotten one and fell,
They both were in a stew.

A flashlight beam then pierced the dark,
They made the car just barely;
And we took off just like a shot,
Took out the fence gate squarely.

We made it back home just past one.
They laughed until they cried.
I was so young I just sat there,
Agape with my eyes wide.

My mother had skinned both her shins,
My sister, she smelled funny,
Because that melon she stepped in,
Was rotten and real funky.

Some thought my mom as mothers go,
Not what you'd call high scoring,
But I can tell you life back home,
For sure was never boring.

                                                     Judy Ball

FOR NATHAN D.'s - LET'S PUT A SMILE ON MY FACE CONTEST


Details | Limerick | |

My Morning Confession

Ok, I guess I'll confess! 
My hair is REALLY a mess! 
I just drove them to school
and they said ''Mom, that's not cool''.
But today I could really care less! 

''Today is my only day off.
Just let your friends snicker and scoff.
Does it matter to you
if I wear slippers or shoes? 
Is your image of me that far off''? 

When she looked at my head in the car
her jaw dropped and she said ''Oh my stars! ''
''What is that on your head? 
Is it living or dead? ''
I'm so glad we don't have to drive far! ''

Well, I may not be looking my best
but, what I saw I would never have guessed! 
In the back of my hair
was what made the kids stare.......
cause it looked like a fluffy birds nest! 

Oh, ''Who cares if my hair looks absurd? ''
''It's the new style.....or haven't you heard? 
You should feel slightly blessed 
that I even got dressed........
and I made a new home for a bird! '' 


Details | Blank verse | |

Root

A long time ago, in the dark lands of the gentile pagans
The people where like giants and our twelve spies; ants!
The spies’ mission went sour and they were almost captured.
Ten managed to escape to our lovely desert camps; enraptured!
The other two made themselves scarce, to the inconvenience of a woman
 Who hid them in the roof of her house and lied to save their hides.   
By and by, our brave woman married one spy and another gentile woman
Married the other spy…oh the dreadful tides!!!
It so happened that our promiscuous spies both died, and at the same time too.
Their distraught mother (for they were brethren) decided to return home.
But the woman who had first hid them made bid to return with her
But Old Childless Mother said “turn away my daughters for thou hast seen I have 
No sons and am too old and ugly to attract a man, for surely any man attracted to
Me in this state must darn well be impotent or desperate!”
The second saw reason and turned back home to her shows for her name was Orpah Winfey.
The one who had first hid the spies refused and said (with courageous theme playing in 
The background) “intreat me not to turn aside, for wither thou goest, I will go and wither 
Thou lodgest I shall be thine squatter and where thou diest I shall be present for the wake keep!”
When she saw that her determination was deeply ruthed, Old Childless Widow sayest unto her;
“Damn, why the hell not!”
So it came to pass that Ruth came to dwell with us, the chosen people.
But she was an outright lazy pile of bones, what with all the sitting all day under palm trees
And gisting and gossiping with passersby.  Well some folk thought she was a prophet
His name was Barak Oboma, he was dark and handsome and he was our leader.
She made him start a war with the people in the East whose military was whispered 
In dark places to be to be “The Talibansers” but that is a tale for another day.
Here ends the unnecessarily protracted and adjusted story of Root: the harlot turn
 Wife turn widow turn immigrant turned prophet.


Details | Rhyme | |

Big

There’s a spider in my shoe mum 
There’s a spider in my shoe
He really is quite big mum
And I don’t know what to do

You silly boy just pick it up
And give your shoe a shake
It’s just a little spider
How much effort can it take

Don’t think I’ll shake him off mum
Can’t pick him up or hit him
He’s really very big mum
And my shoes they nearly fit him

Oh don’t be such a baby
Stop acting like a fool
Please hurry up and do it
Or you’ll soon be late for school

But mum, he’s really massive
I’m terrified, what’s more
He just picked up my jacket
And he’s thrown it on the floor

Alright, lets have a look then
Oh my, this one is bad
It really is enormous
Run upstairs and get your dad


Details | I do not know? | |

It's Time For Me To Get Tough!

That's it! 
No more excuses! 
I'm laying down some rules! 
Just so you don't misunderstand...
I'm tired of you fools! 

It's time for me to get tough! 
No more ''Oh, that's ok.''
I've had all I can take from you
And things will change...
TODAY! 

I mean it.
I'm not kidding! 
You'll be begging for a break! 
No matter how much you may beg
That's it...for heavens sake! 

What's that? 
A tear? 
Don't do it.....I said I'm being tough! 
Now you want a hug from me? 
I guess you've suffered enough! 
:) 


Details | I do not know? | |

To Be a Child Again by Kenny Davis

To Be a Child Again by Kenny Davis

I see the children of today
Their smiles take me away
To my times as a child
And the games that I would play

To be a child again
Means to be taken to an imaginary place
Where a box could be a house or race car
Or a ship in outer space

To be a child again
Means Mother is God in my eyes
My father is like my hero
Like Superman in the skies

To be a child again
There are many times, I would smile from ear to ear
I would jump into my parent’s loving arms
With nothing left to fear

To be a child again
Full of bedtime stories and fairy tales
Whether it was Jack and the Beanstalk
Or Jack and Jill with their water pails

To be a child again
My life filled with Mother Goose
The tails of Humpty Dumpty
And Green Eggs and Ham from Dr. Seuss

Now that I have grown
I recall my times as a child
So young, so innocent
So reckless and wild

To be a child again
My parents would wipe away every tear
It is all of those tender moments as a child
That I will always hold dear

© June 2009 k.davis


Details | Acrostic | |

DONDON (What's In My Name)

Donald is the name they gave me
Over the noise i heard my mother shout with glee
Not knowing that i heard what she said
Dondon was not named after a saint but a duck instead
Overwhelmed with surprised I rushed  and said to her
Naughty thing to do mom, but  you are still a dear


Details | Quatrain | |

THE STINGING KIND

Jellyfish is the stinging kind,
it is found in droves
on our crowded beaches...
any little sting can drive anyone wild.


Yes, they are spineless, mordant and gelitous...
being closed watched by large gulls with a hungry palate,
but are chased away by dogs so ferocious;
I'm wondering how they will look and taste on my plate!


And still curious kids scoop them with plastic sand-shovels
and try to save them by dropping them in water-filled buckets,
running with excitement...ignoring the screams of their moms,
and they yell, " Put them down, they will sting you more than once!"


O jellyfishes, don't be vicious...we love you like shell-fish,  
if you could talk, your bizarre conduct won't be misunderstood by many! 
Is the water so polluted and infested with sharks that you flee from the sea, 
or are the fishermen so angry for wasted time on a worthless catch?


Details | Light Poetry | |

Big Kids

If you break your leg don’t come running to me
I’ve told you before about climbing that tree
It isn’t a playground for you to have fun
Go out in the garden and play in the sun
Or get on your bike and head out for a ride
Take it down to the beach but watch out for the tide
There’s always the park you could play on the swings
Go fishing or something there’s oodles of things
Now get down at once, I won’t tell you again
You’re ever so naughty, you’re being a pain
Please do as you’re told and stop being a bore
Well! I really don’t know what I married you for


Details | Free verse | |

The Mysterious Person Under My Bed (written by 9 year old)

The mysterious person under my bed
Is my Mommy
But, at the time
I had no clue who was under my bed
So then I was scared
And I did everything I could
Then I looked underneath my bed
And I saw my Mommy
Then I chased her around
Because she scared me


Details | Haiku | |

Don't Mess With Mom

                                                    there is no fury
                                                like a woman's fury -
                                           so don't mess with mom










Tribute To
Mother Nature


It's Not Nice 
Fooling 
Mother Nature   LOL


Details | Light Poetry | |

Bundle of joy

Doesn’t he look like his mother
And the nose, it’s his fathers you know
Look at his grin and the shape of his chin 
He’s the image of your brother Joe
The hair, there’s a lot, it’s amazing
It’s like granddads before it fell out
His lungs are so strong, well it won’t be too long
He’ll be screaming and running about
Oh bless him he’s smiling, he’s lovely
He’s so cute you could eat him for tea
His eyes, well, they’re certainly grandma’s
Pick him up, pass him over to me
He must be an absolute pleasure
New babies can bring so much joy
So what are you going to call him, 
Oh dear, so she isn’t, a boy


Details | Free verse | |

Bathroom engaged

There he blows
on his way to the gents
Book in hand
we all know 
this is where 
he shall be occupied
for the next half hour

Imagination envisages
him making himself 
comfortable
There for a duration
Intent on sinking 
his teeth into several chapters
of the latest James Patterson

Belt slowly snakes
to the floor as he sits there
concentrating 
on task in progress
with trousers half mast 
supported by knees
Book on lap

A certain familiar 
thunder echoes 
through the house
Stench slowly seeping
through under door
Leaves mum running
for the air fragrancers

Doors and windows
are opened as mother
tries to ‘air’ the house
as she goes about 
her business cleaning
the house until it shines
bright as a freshly minted coin

Eventually father emerges
Fresh and relaxed
Missing one gas mask
Mum trepidly takes a breath
and dives into the bathroom
Intent on finishing her work
disguising Dad’s omissions

Bathrooom engaged again
Mother’s work never done
and yet as she vacates
a beautiful flowery scent
followers her through 
The empty room vacantly
awaiting – welcoming next guest.


Details | Rhyme | |

Jimmy, Get In The House

Jimmy
The street lights are on
Get your butt home
‘Fore I come out there

Take your shoes off 
At the door
Separate all your clothes
And put them in the hamper

When you finish,
Come downstairs
And I’ll fix your plate
But you better eat everything
Not just the steak

That means carrots, peas, and rice
Everything on your plate
Until you eat everything
There is no escape

We’ll be here all day,
If that’s what it takes
Makes no diff’rence to me
But what about videogames,
Your computer, and T.V.

Because you only get an hour
Then it’s off to bed
If you try to sneak away
I will, have your head

Cause you know how you are
Especially in the morning
Sleepin’ in class
When you supposed to be learning

Speaking of school,
Your teacher called
She said, you have something to give me
And don’t lie about it, Jimmy
I heard the grade already

That’s why you’re not goin’ out tomorrow
You’re staying in to study
I don’t care bout all that pleadin’
From ya little buddies

You gone be in here
All day
Until you get these problems right
You can not afford
To fall behind

If you start that whining
My belt gone be a walking
So get it together
I bet not hear no back-talkin’

Jimmy,
I don’t want to hear your mouth
The street lights are on
Get yo butt in the house



Details | Limerick | |

Chirty Limerick

There once was a girl we called Chirty.
She was happy just when she was dirty.
She would sleep with the dogs
and play with the hogs
and stay up catching bugs till 2:30.

She just loved anything that could crawl.
When she'd show me, you know I would bawl.
I can't stand the bugs
but I'll still give her hugs.
(even when she hangs them on her wall) .

One day she was catching a snake
I was praying it only was fake.
It was not only real
but a really BIG deal
when it joined in our swim at the lake.

She's an animal lover, no doubt
and she never stays in.....only out.
When she's old she may change...
that would seem oh so strange
cause this is just what she's about!


Details | Rhyme | |

Kids

As a dad of three I’ve got your measure
We love you protect you give us lots of pleasure
But……mums and dads aren’t as daft as you think we are
Dads give us a fiver and ill wash your car
Mum….can I take a couple of pounds out of the copper jar

My car barely sees water and a sponge because it’s too much mither
And the copper jar that held a tenner now holds just a fiver
And so it goes on

Dad….can I stay out as long as Paul his dad lets him stay out till eleven
A quick call to Paul’s dad guess what Pauls in at seven
We love you dearly but you kids think were daft
But were on to you it’s almost become a craft

And the classic dad can I have my pocket money mums give her last to my brother
A quick word with mum reveals you’ve just had a tenner
Me and your mum we do talk to each other
Clean your room up I’ve asked you 4 times if you don’t that’s it your grounded I said
I’ve done it dad you tell me I go check it’s clean but it’s all under your bed
That’s it your grounded
Toys out of pram and don’t give me that look
You know the one open mouthed astounded
You see mums and dads aren’t daft it’s all part of the game
But…..through all your tantrums and tears
We still love you all the same


Details | Rhyme | |

Invisi-Girl's Adventures

When Invisi- Girl was very young,
She was not worth stopping,
She would always end up spying or snooping,
And even a little eaves-dropping.

She would always be punished, punished harshly,
For listening in on others,
Yet even though she would punish her,
Invisi-Girl still loved her mother.

One tragic day, her mother died,
And her father was devastated,
But when her father decided to remarry,
Invisi-Girl was not elated.

One frightening day,
her step-mother said,
"Give me all your money,
Or you will be dead."

Invisi-Girl's father tried to help,
Her father tried to stop her,
But then the wife accidentally shot him,
When she meant to shoot her,

Invisi-Girl lived a horrible life,
Ever since the day her father died,
She waited on her step-mother hand and foot,
And would always let out a good cry.

The day Invisi-Girl had her twentieth birthday,
her powers she did discover,
Invisi-Girl could vanish into thin air,
And best of all she could hover.

One day she decided to make a plan,
One that her step-mother would not expect,
This expert plan would be only one,
That Invisi-Girl could detect.

ONe day Invisi-Girl used her powers,
And her step-mom she did destroy,
She finally restored the family's treasures,
And brought herself inner joy.


Details | Blank verse | |

I

She calls I a thousand names
The black witch of the south
The I in evil
The nothing that lies between
The namesayer
And the timekeeper
The thousand ticking boxes
The terror in the midst
The horseman and the thief
The alien and the astronaut
That came knocking
The air that sucked her lungs
The bitter aftertaste of sugar
The candle that burns bright
The penny that stole the truth
The fantasy leaping from the page
The trouble in the woods
The headline and the news
The temptation that makes men blind
The kiss of death
The final straw

Yes she calls me all these things
And yet all I offered was love


Details | I do not know? | |

Stories Told

Give us today our daily bread

Are words from a prayer we’ve said

Now I lay me down to sleep

And pray our Lord our souls we keep

Never rest your head on an angry word

Is something that your mother heard

It is not goodbye it's see you soon

Bad luck is to come when you see a full moon

These are tales that have been passed down

Just like your little christening gown

You know you have at least said one

Just think about it I found it fun

Who thought them first and paper found

I know my mother passed them down

So each and every thing we say

Just might be passed down one day

Children's ears will tell the tale

So tell them stories and tell them well

For some day soon your words you will hear

Come from someone you hold so dear



Details | Rhyme | |

The Christmas Letter, dedicated to my mother

I thought I would have, all my cards in the mail
You can tell that my pace, is that of a snail
I’m such a “go getter” and I hate sitting still
One things’ for certain, I haven’t lost my will.

All the testing, the blood work, x-rays and more
Thank goodness the lab, has a revolving door.
I’m covered in bruises, from head to my toes,
I say it’s ‘cuz, I punched a guy in the nose.

This pill, and that pill, it is hard to keep track
Is this for my stomach, my eyes or my back?
All of my treatments, are a thing of the past
I don’t have to see doctors, I’m free at last.

Believe it or not, hubby’s quite a good cook
And he doesn’t follow, a recipe book.
I’ve had to scold him every once in a while
“Please don’t leave that clean laundry, sit in that pile”.

He vacuums, does laundry and even does chores
Fixes washers, dryers and paints all the doors
He’ll relax in his chair, and he snores quite fast
When he gets loud, I’ll turn the TV full blast.

I have to admit, that it’s funny to see
Looking out that window, as he trims the tree.
I still try to figure, why men can’t “just trim”
NO, they hack, saw, and pull and leave just a limb.

The Grandchildren are growing, fast every day
Time passes quickly, which is scary to say.
Thank goodness for family, and friends such as you
May all of your dreams, and wishes come true.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR


Details | Quatrain | |

A DELICIOUS SPLIT-PEA SOUP

Green peas and all kinds of beans
are split open to release their seeds,
like those peas in a green pod,
that mother cooked in a huge pot!


One of my dad's friends who wore a veteran's brooch, 
would shamelessly cheat to get a delicious split-pea soup;
mom didn't know he was a cheater, and surely would have hit him
with the wooden dough roller when he peaked with a grim!   


And mom slowly stirred the vegetable soup,
she used to say, " The longer it cooks, the better it tastes! '
And my mouth was drooling to taste those soft peas...
that I took out of the seeds' casings without miscue! 


Mother rushed in the kitchen with a roar of an enraged lion,
" That idiot is playing no fair game! He is a menace to all!
And he passes glasses of brandy to get everybody drunk! " 
" He wants to win no matter what the cost...oh, clever maven! "


The split-pea soup steams like a hot volcano erupting,
the cover of the pot blows off, " What a mess on my stove! " mom  screams...
" It's all his fault that I am in this state! " she continues yelling...
" I still hear his big mouth mocking...wait 'till I have finished cooking these peas! "


Entered in Nathan's Laccese contest, " Two peas in a pod " 

Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | I do not know? | |

Screamers

The most appalling thing to see
According to the likes of me
Is when abroad upon the street 
A child that screams and stamps its feet
And parents who then try to quell
The ravings of the child from Hell

They attempt, in their entreaty
To appease, with toy and sweety, or
Promises of things to come 
A brand new bike from dad and mum 
So, parents do not plead or beg
Just slap the buggers round the leg

© John W Fenn  27-07-2009


Details | Rhyme | |

Gold Fever

Here's another story that I just made up
That just can't wait to be told
About a weary prospector, down on his luck
That gave his life for his gold

He was way up yonder in the hills, they say
Just him and his scrappy old mule
That poor old mule didn't have no teeth
So he'd sit around the camp and drool

Now that prospector, who we'll call Jake
Was as secret as he could be
He didn't like people snooping around
So he wasn't much for company

See, Jake had been on that mountain
For nigh on twenty years
But he never did hit the mother load
With all his sweat and tears 

Then, one day he decided to go fishing
A fish pulled him right in the river
He tried to hang on with all of his might
It's hard to do when you shiver

Jake looked up and was headed toward the falls
So he decided he'd better let go
When he dropped that line, he sunk like a rock
And started thrashing to and fro

Now, Jake was a real good swimmer
He was on the prospector's Olympic team
But, everytime his head went under
All he could do was scream

Now Jake had prospected his whole life
But now, he was getting pretty old
He didn't know the reason he was drowning
But his pockets were full of gold

When he figured it out, he had gold fever
And he refused to let it go
All poor old Jake could think about
Was he finally hit the mother load

See, when that old fish had jerked him in
He was dragging him on the bottom
There was gold just laying everywhere
And that's where his pockets got 'em

Poor old Jake drowned that day
Richest man in the world, I think
His old mule was standing on the bank
Drooling, as he watched him sink

They fished his body out of that river
The next morning before dawn
But they found both pockets as empty as could be
It was stolen by a leprechaun

Well, I guess it's time for me to go
I can see as I look at my clocks
But if you really wanna protect your prospector's gold
Then let me suggest Fort Knox


Details | Chastushka | |

Cold Busted (Chastuska)

Papa, you should blame me not
For you were kissing that girl, 
Your ins and out’s got you caught hot
That’s why Mama rocked your world


Details | I do not know? | |

The Piece of Hair and the Little Girl

The little girl was in her bathtub.
She was minding her own business.
When long came floating by a lonley piece of hair.
Omg the girl screamed bloody murder.
Her mommy came running in only to find a piece of hair,
All she could do was laugh and tell her child to calm down its ust hair.
The mommy left and the girl screamed again, so the mommy came back in
only to find another piece of hair floating in the tub and a piece on her daughter.
She made her ge out of the tub and told her again
It's only a piece of HAIR!!!!!!!!


Details | Rhyme | |

A Toast To Mom

oh the weather outside is frightful
and having snowball fights were so delightful

getting hit in the butt and head
then laughing cause you start seeing red

hooking on car bumpers for a little ride
wearing tennis shoes we did slip and slide

mama yelling to get off or you'll be dead
we never listened to what she had said

socks for gloves to keep little hands warm
even amidst a blizzards storm

soaked from head to foot
looking like santa's outfit full of soot

but what I remember about fun the most
was waiting for mama's hot coco and apple butter toast


on that speical Christmas morning day
before the Lord had came and taken her away


   {R.I.P. Mama}


Happy Holidays All
Love Kathy And Jenny

Also Entry For 
Deborah Guzzi's
Holiday Songs In Poem Form
Gl All


Details | I do not know? | |

Woman Speak

“No, only salt for my dinner”

For I am a woman in pain.
Punished for not 
sowing my oats this season,
Not using the gift of which 
condemns my own since creation.

The existence of childbearers
must be painfully ironic.
For months the first taste of salvation 
from Eden’s damnation
Is left only to cease in the most 
horrid display of a heavenly miracle.

A highly combustible 
most fragile treasure.
This tiny wrinkled vile of ferocious possibility
uncovers our biggest faults and our deepest desires.

But for now I’ll taste of hormones’ cravings
Whilst my insides shudder of a fiery fate.
To be shorn clean as God willed or left to scream 
in agony until deemed worthy of defeat.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Dog

I’ve got this dog – a mix for sure
Its pedigree is far from pure
Its mother was a mix herself
A  Shihtzu - Bichon little elf
Its father was a tramp – a bum
A mix of everything to come
That leaves my dog a unique breed
The kind of dog that no man needs
Because its mother had this fling
My dog’s a Shihtz-On Everything

mdailey   6/26/12


Details | Bio | |

You're Going To Get A Good Whoopin Now

there was 
a naughty girl
and a naughty 
girl was she
for nothing 
would she do
but peek at 
christmas gifts
with glee
she would
look for name
like was a game
still curious
and bound
little pokes
in presents
were found
now she
had to
grabbed tape
oops late
in came mom
caught 
without sound
she laughed
I cried
said sorry
gift taken
from thee
how dad
did
spank me



Happy Holidays To All
Love Kathy & Jenny

Entry For Brian Strand's 
Bio Christmas Parlour Poetry Contest
GL All


Details | Couplet | |

Who Love's Ya Baby

who loves ya baby
hmmm now let me see

I know my mommy did
even though her shoes I did hid

I think my daddy did
when I didn't make him snid

brothers and sisters well maybe just a little
when I didn't get in the middle

my grandpa and grandma surely does
for I'll do anything for them just because

I know my little girl loves her momma
even better than president Obama

my dogs and cats loves me
even if they continue to make me sneeze

even my close friends new and old still spark the love
for we will alway's go on and well above

paperboy surely does
cause I tip him for keeping my paper out of bushes and shrubs

milkman used to
when I didn't make him shu

bill collectors oh yes
for I'm their baby who they love the best

so who loves me
well lets just continue to see



Tribute To Love



Also Entry For
Deborah Guzzi's 
Who Love's Ya Baby Contest


Details | Epigram | |

Offspring

One day I will birth a child
It will grow, run loose and wild.


Details | I do not know? | |

Don't forget the sausages

Pop down to the shops Son
I need some bits and bobs
Just a few potatoes
And a dozen crusty cobs
While you’re there, you might as well
Get carrots and some greens
Some frozen peas, some sugar
And a tin of Heinz baked beans
Some tea, I think we need some
Minced beef for shepherds pie
A pound of cheese, the Leicester
We’ll give that one a try
We haven’t any biscuits
You know the ones I like
Only get two packets, mind
Be careful on your bike
When you get back I’ll do some
Bread and dripping for your tea
A slice of bread and scrape for you
And sausages for me

© John W Fenn  03-07-2009


Details | Free verse | |

No is all you ever say

There you was standing in my way
Each and every day
No is what you always say

Like when I was six and wanted to fly
You said no took my wings and made me cry
If I had jumped out of the tree I would have died

And the time that the senior had asked me out
You said no and made me shout
Two years later he went to jail for rapping that girl and still is not out

Or the party that girl had with no parents there
You said no Even though dad did not care
The cops were called and found drugs everywhere

You was always in my way
And no is what you always say
Thank you mom for being that way

Now I am the one who has to be in the way
And no is all I ever say
Maybe my boys will understand someday


Details | I do not know? | |

Bathtime Babe

I knew a little babe who was naughty as can be.

How did I know the babe? 

Well, because that babe was me!

When ever mum said, " Yes",

Babe would always just say, " No"!

When ever mum said, " Stop"!

Babe would always answer, " Go"!

Bathtime for mum, was a terrible time of night.

Cos she knew, with good reason, just how much her babe would fight.

The tears would be flowing, and the babe cried all the more.

With shrieks and wails aplenty,

Babe was readying for War!

"Oh, my little babe, how I wish you wouldn't  fight".

" The bath's not so bad, and the water is just right".

"Please, come and wash; you can splish and splash with vim".

"You can soak me if you wish; I'll just sit here at the rim".

As bedtime fast approaches,

And babe yawns with all her might.

"What a brilliant bath"! Thought babe,

Then she slept right through the night.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Talking To Kids Of A Whole NEW Generation

Note:  This is not my kids.  This is dedicated to a......friend 


Now my children time has come for me to talk to you. 
I've let you make your choices in what you wear and do. 
But this has gone way to far and way to fast. 
So let me touch on some points that had better not last. 

Daughter, with multi rings on your fingers and 2 on your toes. 
I know sooner or later they'll be one through your nose. 
Then do you know what will happen next time you sneeze? 
You'll be shootin' big 'ol snot globs out that hole at me. 
That tattoo that you've got on your big left breast 
You think it's sexy now, but let me tell you what to expect. 
Right now it's up there sitting pretty as you can see. 
But when you reach the age of 60, where do you think it will be? 

Son that tongue stud that your sporting doesn't look to sweet. 
I'm waiting for you to swallow it, the next time you eat. 
You swear it is  in there tightly and you have no fear. 
But when you tried to demonstrate you choked on it my dear. 

Daughter, that eyebrow bar is just the ugliest thing you've done. 
It looks like you had an accident with a pneumatic staple gun. 
Oh!, and lets not forget that sexy belly button ring. 
When you get old and forgetful, you can hang you keys from that thing. 

Son?  Just what were you thinking when you picked out your new tat? 
Homer Simpson eating a donut?  Couldn't you find something other than that? 
And to have it proudly spread out on your behind 
says you'll never have a girlfriend, unless she is blind. 
Then there is the subject of the ear plugs in your lobes. 
Just how big do you intend to let those puppies go? 
They're going to hang down like some ear handle 
Folks will think I dropped you twice.  Oh god, They're going to dangle. 

Daughter those clothes your wearing don't make you a looker. 
I won't pay the bail when you are mistaken for a hooker. 

Son, you'd better be pullin' up your pants, you hear? 
No one wants to see you walk like you've a load in there. 

Last and certainly not the least, your choice of hair salons. 
I never thought I'd see the day my daughter and my son 
Both with rainbow spiked hair, it all just says so much 
It says "Please don't hire me because I'm a big butt munch


Details | Chastushka | |

Cold Busted

Papa, you should blame me not
For you were kissing that girl, 
Your in and out’s got you caught hot
That’s why Mama rocked your world


Details | I do not know? | |

My Alter Ego

                      

In my eyes as a child my dreams forever grow,
I can catch the talons of an eagle and slay the meanest foe,
Drop to the peak of the mountain top and set my Princess free,
Dive the depths of the ocean and bring her back the sea,
To quince her thirst and cleanse her soul,
In the name of  my  friend, Ebie Sybie So.
I can slap my baby sisters and for all my parents know,
It wasn’t me who did it, It was Ebie Sybie So,
I remember this one most frightening  time, 
When the twins teamed up and beat my behind,
Ebie wasn’t there and it got real scary, 
‘Cause my sister had two friends, Redeye and Kerry,
Redeye and Kerry must have assisted the twins, 
You see they were Cindy’s two imaginary friends,
Out numbered but not out classed,
I cried to my mother hoping she’d beat their ass,
As I went to my mother with tears in my eyes,
The twins got smart and started to cry,
Mom came a running like a mother cat,
You see the twins were the youngest spoiled little brats,
What did you do to my darling little twins, tell me now, I want to know,
 But Mom it wasn’t me who did it. It was Ebie Sybie So.
Well as time went by, it was half past nine,
When my mother took the switch and beat my behind,
She said, that wasn’t nice, what you did, you know,
But Mom, it wasn’t me who did it. It was Ebie Sybie So.
My mom said, when I lie, my lips begin to grow,
Like the nose of the puppet  Pinocchio,
In my eyes, it wasn’t a lie,
And besides Cindy had two friends, Kerry and Redeye.
Back in the bathroom, in the mirror I stare,
What happened to you Ebie, don’t you even care?
The silence was deafening  as my tears began to flow,
It wasn’t me who did it. It was Ebie Sybie So.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Doggy doos

There’s dog poo on the carpet mum
There’s dog poo in the hall
There’s dog poo in the doorway mum
There’s dog poo on the wall
I don’t know how it got there
I haven’t got a clue
I only know its smelly
And it's even on my shoe.


Details | Free verse | |

HAZEL-EYED MA GREW THE LOVELIEST BEGONIAS

Hazel-eyed Ma grew the loveliest begonias
on her neat and colorful balcony; and if rains
were scarce, she would water them...
until the fragrant buds would bloom!
 

Exactly at eight o' clock, for three seasons,
she tendered for them with her caring hands;
and no weeds would mar their beauty so exquisite...
all the nuns came rushing from the Convent!


Sing, adorable mother, sing another aria...the happiest one,
as you caress your flowers with the gentlest touch;
crowds will gather underneath your festive balcony, to listen
with interest and acclaim you for your superb vocals! 


Hazel-eyed Ma grew the loveliest begonias not seen
in the most spacious and elegant gardens;
she suddenly was known as the flower woman,   
but also became the envy of many housewives.    


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Blank verse | |

Root

A long time ago, in the dark lands of the gentile pagans
The people where like giants and our twelve spies; ants!
The spies’ mission went sour and they were almost captured.
Ten managed to escape to our lovely desert camps; enraptured!
The other two made themselves scarce, to the inconvenience of a woman
 Who hid them in the roof of her house and lied to save their hides.   
By and by, our brave woman married one spy and another gentile woman
Married the other spy…oh the dreadful tides!!!
It so happened that our promiscuous spies both died, and at the same time too.
Their distraught mother (for they were brethren) decided to return home.
But the woman who had first hid them made bid to return with her
But Old Childless Mother said “turn away my daughters for thou hast seen I have 
No sons and am too old and ugly to attract a man, for surely any man attracted to
Me in this state must darn well be impotent or desperate!”
The second saw reason and turned back home to her shows for her name was Orpah Winfey.
The one who had first hid the spies refused and said (with courageous theme playing in 
The background) “intreat me not to turn aside, for wither thou goest, I will go and wither 
Thou lodgest I shall be thine squatter and where thou diest I shall be present for the wake keep!”
When she saw that her determination was deeply ruthed, Old Childless Widow sayest unto her;
“Damn, why the hell not!”
So it came to pass that Ruth came to dwell with us, the chosen people.
But she was an outright lazy pile of bones, what with all the sitting all day under palm trees
And gisting and gossiping with passersby.  Well some folk thought she was a prophet
His name was Barak Oboma, he was dark and handsome and he was our leader.
She made him start a war with the people in the East whose military was whispered 
In dark places to be to be “The Talibansers” but that is a tale for another day.
Here ends the unnecessarily protracted and adjusted story of Root: the harlot turn
 Wife turn widow turn immigrant turned prophet.


Details | Rhyme | |

CONTROL

I’m a control freak, for this much I know,
I hate to admit, but I can’t let go.
For I must face it, there’s no turning back,
But then who’s counting, or who’s keeping track?

My friends always know, that I’ll drive my car,
Even when traveling, not really that far.
I won’t fly on planes; no it’s not the fare,
They will not give me, that darn pilot’s chair.

I feel the need, to always protect,
Bad things can happen, so let’s not forget.
Kids think they know all, and safe they will be,
But what if high winds, take down someone’s tree?

Going on field trips, they won’t make a fuss,
My kids don’t want me, to ride on their bus.
“Bus drivers are good, and go somewhat slow”,
They will assure me, so I will not go.

When they start driving, I’m nothing but nerves,
“Make sure you go slow, especially round curves”.
“Where are you going to, and coming back home?”
“Don’t text while you drive, or talk on your phone.”

“Alright mom” they say, while walking away,
“We sure do love you, we will be okay.”
I worry until, in the door they come,
I ask them calmly, “Did you both have fun?”

I know when they’re gone, I cannot patrol,
It is very hard, giving up control.
When they grow older, a family they start,
They too will control, it comes from the heart.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

NUMBERED SCENT (Ohduhkellee)

A mothers gift ,

Generally at Christmas .

Easiest option which I hope she will like .




( Eau De Kelly)  Fragrance for older ladies , who do remember ...


I have just "invented "this new form of poetry . 

As you can see it is the 4~7~11 .

First line has 4 syllables , next 7 and the last has 11 .

And , if you think it stinks......... yes it probably does......


All rights are reserved ( and a few lefts).


Details | Free verse | |

collaberation vs compulation

ok, mom's right, it's "collaborate and copulate"
that's what I meant to say

i am the mom and when i say
it is right it is and
it is weird and i could
be wrong.

ok. we agreed, we only get 2 lines
and you have taken 4 lines
(and I can't even be poetic, cuz you done took my lines)

i was just trying to save paper
for green for the environment
i was helping you.

Helping me?
Helping me what?
ok, I'm usin more lines
You ain't green! You ain't even fair!!!!!!!

WELL, I AM A protester and i
has a been sitting in trees
a lot,  baby sister you better
be nice to your ole ma.

Ok, for 1, you ain't no damn protestor
And you ain't in no trees
and we is hooked on phonics
but we profound
for instance, I done found my lighter

see, i was honest for you and i hired
a surrogate tree hugger so i could
be with you baby sister. duh

Mother, when will you EVER learn to use CAPS?
I know you are honest, and silly, cute, lovable
and you smell good.
But you still broke the 2 line rule AND
if you break the rules, I break them better.... love kim

well,we won't worry about this anymore.
go take a bath...love mom.

P.S. Didn't even get to talk about the copulating and all.... Damn.......


Written by a Mom and Daughter just being foolish cuz we love each other


Details | Free verse | |

The Way Susie Mae Used to Talk

Why dat gull crynin'?!  Hollin' like dat?!
She bleed'n uh som'in?!  No?!
Maybe she need soma' dat pank stuff, den?
You know!  Dat stuff!  Dat uhhh...   Dat uhhh...
Dat Bismorex!!  Yeah.  Dat Bismorex.  Hmmph!
Well, den, maybe huh flioncee left huh.
He pro'bly took dat rang back.  Heh, Heh.
You know him.  You know huh, too.
That ol' low down strumpet!
She be sleepin' wit ev'ry Tom, _ick and Harry in town.
Don't she?  Don't she?!  Don't she?!!
Fool, you know dat's right!
So sank me in Hell!  Shoot!
She sleep wit anythang that'll walk!
I'd leava' too.  Show would!  I wouldn't stay...
Well, den, if dat ain't it, I don't know what it is!
But I still wunda' wut dat gull crynin 'bout!
What?!  She jus' fakin' it again?!  Heh, heh, heh.
Child!  Dat's yo water dat's deep.
Heh, heh, heh.  Dat's yo water dat's deep.


My mother told me this story.


Details | Lyric | |

we started out kinda

we started out kinda real young
baby i know i was a fool,
now ive grown up
all of the things we use to do
do you remember
i wanna be your man,
aint tryna be ya friend (be ya friend)

so tell me do you like it
drop, top, mercedes benz
top up ,cause your hair be (blowin thru da wind)
wheels spinning, hair did( blingin ring) ya dig

she pull up at the club lookin like, millions,
billions, watching you from a distance
all the fellas be watching you like a vision
ya sexy thighs,sexy hip, sexy midsect
looking real good,make a reggin wanna hit that,
forget that, i think im ready for commitment
so are you ready for submission

"oh"

n-e-ways, i know you with him for a short change
but you and me together forever,
will never change
when i was younger all i thought  about was spitting game
never caring about your feeling was to remain,
the same, im sorry i cause you all this pain ( i promise you)
i fill them all with brighter days
(and hopefully) i just get a chance to say, that
(i love you) and i hope that you feel da same way 

Hmmm....


we started out kinda real young
baby i know i was a fool
now ive grown up
all of the things we use to do
do you remember
i wanna be ya man
aint tryna be ya friend, be ya friend

i aint tryna be ya friend...
girl i only wanna be ya man
so baby want you let me in...
and i promise it will never end
repeat2x


Details | Burlesque | |

An Unusual Talent

When I was young,
I would swear,
That I could taste germs...
Now, how would I dare?

My mother laughed,
Said I was crazy,
But I swore,
Everyone else's taste-buds,
Were just plain lazy...

And I went on to prove,
That I can pick,
Germs out on foods,
Cause sometimes,
I did get sick!!


Details | Ballad | |

Tiny Little Baby.

Ten little fingers,ten little toes,
Tiny little eyes,and a cute little nose.
A little movement here,and a little kick there,
A sweet and tiny being,so handle me with care.
I know your feeling bigger,and I'm really truelly sorry,
Not long now,i'll be with you soon,so you don't have to worry.
Now don't forget to feed me,and I'd like a drink also,
I know we'll make it,just give it a while,and then we'll have to go.
I hope you got the nappies,and the powder and the cream,
I'm not particuarilly fussy,as long as it's not vasoline.
I really like the blue colour,the pink is pretty too,
I guess it's not my choice yet though,I know it's up to you.
A furry little bunny,or a cuddly teddy bear,
A bottle and a dummy,I'm sure that just seems fair.
Now don't forget to be ready,I'll try to let you know,
When I'm tired of this little cubby,cause then it's time to go.
Don't let those people hurt me,I'll do the best I can,
To come when you are ready,and the pain you cannot stand.
A few more pains,a push or two,or maybe three or four,
A little bit of ice and water,and then maybe even some more.
Oops,I think I'm ready,it's crowded now in here,
Just one more push,now don't be scared,there's nothing here to fear.
Aah,that's better,here I am,it feels so good outside,
I might even hang around a bit,as there's nowhere left to hide.

By Sharon.L.Leonard.  23rd,October,2007.




Details | Free verse | |

Two Little Ducklings (written by a 9 year old girl)

Two little ducklings
Went on a journey
Because they were looking for their Mother
They went in the pond
Then they saw a Mommy duck
Then the Mommy duck punished 
The two little ducklings
Because they are not supposed to leave home


Details | Blank verse | |

Root

A long time ago, in the dark lands of the gentile pagans
The people where like giants and our twelve spies; ants!
The spies’ mission went sour and they were almost captured.
Ten managed to escape to our lovely desert camps; enraptured!
The other two made themselves scarce, to the inconvenience of a woman
 Who hid them in the roof of her house and lied to save their hides.   
By and by, our brave woman married one spy and another gentile woman
Married the other spy…oh the dreadful tides!!!
It so happened that our promiscuous spies both died, and at the same time too.
Their distraught mother (for they were brethren) decided to return home.
But the woman who had first hid them made bid to return with her
But Old Childless Mother said “turn away my daughters for thou hast seen I have 
No sons and am too old and ugly to attract a man, for surely any man attracted to
Me in this state must darn well be impotent or desperate!”
The second saw reason and turned back home to her shows for her name was Orpah Winfey.
The one who had first hid the spies refused and said (with courageous theme playing in 
The background) “intreat me not to turn aside, for wither thou goest, I will go and wither 
Thou lodgest I shall be thine squatter and where thou diest I shall be present for the wake keep!”
When she saw that her determination was deeply ruthed, Old Childless Widow sayest unto her;
“Damn, why the hell not!”
So it came to pass that Ruth came to dwell with us, the chosen people.
But she was an outright lazy pile of bones, what with all the sitting all day under palm trees
And gisting and gossiping with passersby.  Well some folk thought she was a prophet
His name was Barak Oboma, he was dark and handsome and he was our leader.
She made him start a war with the people in the East whose military was whispered 
In dark places to be to be “The Talibansers” but that is a tale for another day.
Here ends the unnecessarily protracted and adjusted story of Root: the harlot turn
 Wife turn widow turn immigrant turned prophet.


Details | Rhyme | |

Moms' Extra Eyes

I think moms have eyes on the back of their heads;
I told my mom that; she just laughed instead.
But I feel that whenever I'm plotting my schemes
She watches intently, though that's not how it seems.

I can almost see eyes peeking from her hair;
But after I blink, the eyes are not there.
And despite my search of her head when she sleeps,
I still cannot find the other eyes that she keeps.

Or when I try to sneak up without her knowing,
Creeping so quiet, without ever slowing,
She stops me midtrack, as if she had heard me
When really those two extra eyes had deterred me.

But it's good for moms to have extra eyes
So when kids get in trouble, it is no surprise
And moms can deliver justice with care
Thanks to the eyes that are hidden by hair.

I shouldn't be frightened by these thoughts so strange
Even if they were true, I'm not sure much would change,
But still I keep checking each day just to see
When this transformation will come over me.


Details | Blank verse | |

Root

A long time ago, in the dark lands of the gentile pagans
The people where like giants and our twelve spies; ants!
The spies’ mission went sour and they were almost captured.
Ten managed to escape to our lovely desert camps; enraptured!
The other two made themselves scarce, to the inconvenience of a woman
 Who hid them in the roof of her house and lied to save their hides.   
By and by, our brave woman married one spy and another gentile woman
Married the other spy…oh the dreadful tides!!!
It so happened that our promiscuous spies both died, and at the same time too.
Their distraught mother (for they were brethren) decided to return home.
But the woman who had first hid them made bid to return with her
But Old Childless Mother said “turn away my daughters for thou hast seen I have 
No sons and am too old and ugly to attract a man, for surely any man attracted to
Me in this state must darn well be impotent or desperate!”
The second saw reason and turned back home to her shows for her name was Orpah Winfey.
The one who had first hid the spies refused and said (with courageous theme playing in 
The background) “intreat me not to turn aside, for wither thou goest, I will go and wither 
Thou lodgest I shall be thine squatter and where thou diest I shall be present for the wake keep!”
When she saw that her determination was deeply ruthed, Old Childless Widow sayest unto her;
“Damn, why the hell not!”
So it came to pass that Ruth came to dwell with us, the chosen people.
But she was an outright lazy pile of bones, what with all the sitting all day under palm trees
And gisting and gossiping with passersby.  Well some folk thought she was a prophet
His name was Barak Oboma, he was dark and handsome and he was our leader.
She made him start a war with the people in the East whose military was whispered 
In dark places to be to be “The Talibansers” but that is a tale for another day.
Here ends the unnecessarily protracted and adjusted story of Root: the harlot turn
 Wife turn widow turn immigrant turned prophet.


Details | I do not know? | |

The worlds greatest invention

I’ve got a great invention
I use it all the time
It does the things that I should do
It always works just fine

It cleans my room it tidies up
And puts my stuff away
Does chores I don’t have time to do
So I can go and play

I never have to worry
If I run a little late
I find my meals are cooked for me
And ready on a plate

It doesn’t  need much maintenance
To make it sweetly hum
Just a little oiling, 
With the words “I love you mum”

© John W Fenn  14-02-2009


Details | Verse | |

Cornfields Have Ears

Mother warned 
Never make love in a cornfield
For the corn-- has ears 
And they just may tell...

Upon hearing this 
I laughed and replied mom
They might have ears 
But they do not have lips 
With which to speak...

Not so fast, Careful daughter said she with a smile
They have husks that are tough 
And when shucked the silk and shucks will make you tell

Yeah, I've ran through the fields 
Playing hide and seek
The itch form those husks --
Sure did make me shriek...

Ahh… Shucks... I guess you're right Mama
You don't have to worry about me
With great bliss--I promise you this... 
I'll never make love in a cornfield.




Comments:  The lesson was corny but true to form as I will never make love nor hide in a 
field of corn -- ears and all 0;-)


Details | I do not know? | |

The Poopy Face

I am having a wonderful day,
I love to laugh, I love to play,
The only thing I need to be happy would be,
My bottle, my teddy, and my pacifier you’ll see.

I just woke from a nice long nap,
I jump around the room, dance and clap,
My tummy is full from lunch and such,
I love to snack, I eat too much.

A rumble in my tummy has stopped my fun,
Starting to frown, my diaper comes undone,
Squinting my eyes, bending my knees,
I push until the problem springs free.

My tummy feels better but this I know,
A smells is following me now wherever I go,
My clean dry diaper is now warm and squishy,
And there’s something mushy on my tushy.

I am starting to get very nervous,
Do I have to cry louder to get faster service?
New diaper scented wipe then,
Clean drawers would make be happy again.


Details | I do not know? | |

THE GOLDEN YEARS

                   The world has heard of the golden years
                            Is it a myth or a phrase
                   When do they begin,when do they end
                    When you are young you can run the race
                    But when you're old you can't wash your face
                     Your bones ache in pain at night
                      Your joints are rusty ,and you lose your sight
                     When they tell you about the pot of gold
                      At the end of a rainbow,you can't hear
                                 Must be the golden years.          


Details | Free verse | |

CHAPERON

I took my girl to the ice cream parlor,
to buy her and ice cream cone.
when we got there, her mother was there,
she had to be chaperon.

How  can we be with each other?
when she always with her mother.
We cant even hold hands at the picture show,
her mother got to be there where ever we go.

Now that we are getting older,we thought it would get better.
Wrong it got worst.
Now when ever I want to kiss my girl,
I have to kiss her mother first.

Now that we are dating,
I asked my girl to take her to the prom.
Wouldnt you just know it,
she was chaperon by her mom

Soon we will be getting married,
and have a family of our own.
Her mother said if we have a daughter,
remember she will have be chaperon.

We love her mother dearly,
but one thing we dred.
When we are making love,
she will be watching from under our bed.


Details | Kimo | |

Mrs. Karate


Dad is not happy when mom is with him
Watching a karate film
She employs what she sees





Details | Rhyme | |

A Baby Only a Mother Can Love

A Baby Only a Mother Can Love

By Elton Camp

The new baby had quite spotted skin
It was a long way up neck to his chin

He was covered with hair, head to toe
Maybe it kept the baby warm, though

His ears extended from his head so far
And his nose was wet & black as tar

His legs were disproportionately long
Though there was really nothing wrong

The mother’s feelings I properly read
For I saw her kiss him on his head



(Written after seeing a mother giraffe tending to her newborn)


Details | Quatrain | |

Try This On For Size

She doesn't like my style of dress 
her taste is different so I guess 
I must confess her clothes are nice 
all put together with pizzazz and spice 
Soft and big, warm and comfy 
she says it makes me look so frumpy
Her body's tall, sleek and slim 
she can wear clothes that hug her skin 
My body's aged from giving birth 
it's changed my shape, my walk, my girth
Some day she'll find that just like me 
her body slim will no longer be 
And I do know some future day 
you'll come to me and you will say 
The old baggy jeans and flannel shirt 
may I borrow to wear instead of my skirt 
And your old worn slippers may I keep 
the high heeled shoes don't fit my feet 
Those worn out pj's look so good 
I'll get some like them, I think I should 
So together in the rocking chair 
feet put up, down with the hair 
Sitting in our comfy clothes 
we'll be together under the throws 
Oh dare to dream that'll be the day 
in the mean time I will say 
Just smile at me when you come around 
all dressed up to go out on the town
And know that I'm now warm and happy 
you look just fine so cold and snappy



Details | Rhyme | |

The Park


I scooter, or razor
which ever you like.
I jungle gym and sand box,
I even take a hike
To sipty cup 
And back with it.
And oh yes I got
The baseball mitt.
I push the swing,
I made a kite.
Still tangled 'round 
My shoe tonight.
I roll the ball,
I carry a shirt.
Gently ran off
lil' tiny flirts.
Not because I 
Think they shouldn't,
But because to 
Share I couldn't.
Too much fun 
we were enjoying
No time have we
For lil' girl cloying.
Now in lap 
And quite contented
Til sun comes up
His vim augmented.


Details | List | |

Black Mama

Child if you don't get yo nappy head;
Imma give you something to cry about.
Get yo butt over here.
Say one mo thang.
Ima beat the black off of ya.
Wait til i'm finish. 
I bet not hear another word. 
It'll hurt me more than It'll hurt you.
You act up here, I'ma act with you.
Im aint chasing after you.
I put you in this world I sho nuff can take you out.
That's a black mama.


Details | Rhyme | |

Mother Hen Adopts A Baby

She gives a cluck, cluck
Babies run for they could be out of luck
One baby stumbles and falls
Tripping over his big paws

Gathering all them under
Cover, with her feather's asunder
This mother hen tries to pull them in
One baby can't fit doesn't even blend

For he's adopted don't you see
Totally different from those three
Under the feathers free from harm
There he's kept very warm

What's so different do you suppose
About this one that under her wings repose
Why he's got a nose, long floppy ears
Feet that are huge with padded paws for gear

(I saw this picture of a mother hen that had adopted a puppy and had him under her and 
since I am adopted I thought of using this for a poem.)


Details | Rhyme | |

Authoritarianism v Passivism

Papa sat there, quiet, 
Reading his books
Never raised his voice 
Or give you nasty looks

He just read his books 
On metaphysics and inner self
Books I have not seen 
On any library shelf

One day my friend and I decided 
To steal mangos from the neighbour’s tree
When papa found out he sat me down 
And had a quiet word with me

I felt torn up inside 
Remorse for what I did
I used to curse myself 
And say what have you done Sid?

Now Mamma she’s ummmm
A different kettle of fish
When she heard what I did 
It was like signing a death wish

She had a way with words
Colourful they were
And when she moved
Ninja style a blur

I managed to run away
And climb up an avocado tree 
She was lunatic and rabid
The gardener was sent up to get me

I should have run away
She came down on me like a monsoon
My behind was like a plum tomato
I looked like an alpha male baboon

Don’t get me wrong 
The love was there
But do something significantly wrong
Look out, beware

Ask my imaginary friend Glen
This is not a trick
He too felt
The end of her stick


Details | I do not know? | |

My Mother

There's a lady in my house,
who looks just like me,
talks just like me,
moves just like me.
 We swear we're not related;
you want to prove anything, go get a blood test.
She didn't give birth to me, fifteen years ago,
I don't belong to her; 
I need to stop following her.
 She acts as if this name I've given her is somehow alien and foreign to her.
So sometimes she simply goes by "lady".
 We often disagree,
but since she thinks like me, (sometimes)
and I might know why.
 She swears I showed up on her doorstep, 
in a basket, 
and never left.
Especially when I mess up,
act goofy
or make dumb mistakes,
she swears I'm not her child.
 But any guest, visitor or passerby who sees us,
knows right away,
undoubtedly,
that this lady, 
who lives in my house,
looks just like me,
moves just like me,
and talks just like me,
is none other
than my mother.


Details | Verse | |

Sundance Kid

THE SUNDANCE KID

Lively bursts of sudden air arise out of my sighs of rushed venom-
-out pops my eyes.
I can't believe my sight--I see my kid in Sundance dance,
all eager to please and pump.
The courage gives the love, it lives, it's alive
it's spreads out of his body, only five.
While he's flying off the ground I think to myself, he's got to be kidding around.

What's up is love and freedom and dancing in the sun.
My son lit, light bright and orange yellow streaks coming out of his being. 
He's just being a kid, right?
He kicks up his small, brown stamped leather boots,
with little blue jean jeans and his red bandana shirt.
His hat on his head is cowboy suede and he yelps,
"I am the Sundance Kid, and rain drops keep falling on my head", as he falls into 
the muddy dirt.
I swirl and twirl, my brain rambling, and blankly stare in strange glaring curiosity.

"How does he know who the Sundance Kid is?"  "How does he know Raindrops 
Keep Falling On My Head?"
And just as I am pondering the mysteries of a child's consciousness, a bicycle 
built for two rides by and the rain begins to pour in front of my panicked, 
frightened astonished adult face.  My child begins to sing "Raindrops Keep 
Falling on My Head" and I hear the sound of music.
Marla Stone


Details | I do not know? | |

Weekend Fun

Its a weekend for sure
Can tell by the revolving door,
First there are three children
Look again and theres five more.

Coming by the dozen
In and out all day,
Computer, playstation, cartoons
Something new they play.

Tattleing, whispering, screams
Im hungry some even shout,
Makes your day interesting
Got you always wondering about.

Finally the day fades quickly
Most of the kids gone away,
You quickly relax, prepair yourself
For tomorrows another busy day


Details | I do not know? | |

100 dogs

(This is a fictional poem)

When I was seven, I had 100 dogs and that was too many.
My dad would cuss while my mama spanked my fanny.
They took dumps on the furniture and all over the floor.
When I came home one day, I didn't have them anymore.
I was shocked to learn that all of my dogs had been sold.
That was nearly thirty years ago, now my parents are old.
My furry companions were gone and I was sad because I was alone.
I got even yesterday when I put my parents in a nursing home.


Details | Haiku | |

Downy Motherhood


embarrassed ducklings
quack quack joylessly
mother shrilly squawks



Details | I do not know? | |

You always treat my brother better

(This fictional poem is written from a child's point of view.)

You just bought a bicycle for my brother and nothing for me.
I'm so upset that I'm about to lose bladder control and pee.
I just peed all over myself, I hope that you're happy.
You make my brother feel great and you make me feel crappy.

You always treat my brother better and you feel no remorse.
When I show Daddy this video tape of you and the mail man, you'll get a divorce.
You're asking what it will take to make me give this video tape to you.
You'll have to start shelling out cash to buy nice things for me too.


Details | Lanterne | |

What A Mom {Lanterne}

                                                            Mom
                                                           A  Doc
                                                  Cook Maid Bank
                                                Sometimes just called
                                                               Ma






Tribute To All Our
 Wonderful Mothers
And The Jobs They Have To Endure
With  Children


Details | I do not know? | |

Locked Out

I locked myself out of my house
And also out of my car
It wasn’t the brightest thing I’ve done
Not the brightest thing by far.

I called my mom and daddy,
Thank God I have them still
I asked them if they could please
Unlock my house if they will.

They drove about eighty miles
They had the only spare key
They wouldn’t do it for just anyone,
But they did it just for me.

Yep, I locked myself out of my house
But my parents came to rescue me.
I got spare keys made, so the next time I do it,
I can leave my poor old parents be!


Details | Rhyme | |

Tea With Ava ~or~ Up Since 3am

With teeth like gold sunshine 
and ears made of mint 
I'd give my right leg 
(if it wasn't so bent) 
to catch up with sleep 
that I lost in the night 
My head is of clay 
(it isn't quite right) 
My tongue feels like marbles 
I've got two left eyes 
My nose has gone white 
and I now feel to cry 
My brain is an ocean 
gone out with the tide 
My organs in crystal 
like diamonds inside 
I wish to be better 
I wish just to sleep 
but I've got a noon tea date 
and THAT I must keep..


Details | Rhyme | |

Under The Bed

Strawberries, Blueberries, Cherries

   all sorts of  berries under my bed

                  why?     why?

                  to make a pie

                  why?      why?

             'cause mommy forgot

             that I haven't been fed

        before she tucked me into bed.


Details | Limerick | |

' Sweet, Little Man ... ' (Limerick # 3)

             ‘ Sweet, Little Man ’

There Was the Sweetest, Little Man, Named Nate
    Who was so Bald… He got a Headache
      From the Kisses, that were Planted
On His ( 2 Month-Old Head )… He Demanded …
“Why Won’t Mama, Put A Cap On My Pate ?


Details | I do not know? | |

Our Mother Made Lasagna

Our mother made lasagna, 
And then she went away. 
She gave us full instructions. 
We're left to find our way. 

She wrote her notes on baggies, 
Of prefabricated meals. 
And put them in the freezer, 
Under airlock seals. 

We tried to follow closely, 
All her helpful notes. 
The meal looked very tasty, 
Until it reached our throats. 

The flour I mixed with water, 
And dumped into the stew. 
But it made it rather gummy, 
And very hard to chew 

This is not a great beginning. 
The future looks real bleak. 
We're growing very hungry. 
But we've got another week! 


Details | Free verse | |

Breakfast Chaos

A baba baby beep beep bede beep
goofey bop
a bee I
in the fee I
a hooooo the wind blows
chomp chomp 
                   wiggle wiggle
a boo be dee boo bop bop
more more; all done
aachew . . . . .amphf
a dit dite a dit
a hiccup a ooh
a bu a dah duh
shake a shake
scootch
crash
        spill
              sip
twist
       twist
               slide
                       all done.


Details | I do not know? | |

Breast feeding

(This is a fictional poem)

You are a nut and people are laughing at you.
You still breast feed at the age of twenty-two.
When you were a child, you learned how to use the toilet and how to get dressed.
But you never learned to stop sucking your mama's breasts.
Women won't go out with you because you are weird.
You're the only person that breast feeds who has a beard.
You are a laughing stock and you're a very bizarre dude.
Stop sucking your mom's boobies and start eating solid food.


Details | I do not know? | |

An Old Woman

Once upon a time there was an old woman
A really old woman I knew well
She had a daughter who was also an old woman
But the oldest only time could tell.

When they were together, whenever, whenever,
The youngest would always say...
You're sure an old woman, an old old woman
Then the eldest would always say...

Now listen here you, you old old woman,
I've lived a many a year,
I've earned my gray hairs, my battle stripes of life
You're catching up, you old woman, ya hear?

The two old women were as close as sisters,
Just as close as any two could be,
The oldest woman is my mother...
And the youngest one is me!


Details | I do not know? | |

Imagine that ,illoshkas hat

  Six tigers swam across the bay
they sniffed the air and came my way
   I had no fear but asked the time
they answered me in pantomime
   I tipped my hat and said Goodbye
but tiger five began to cry
so I went with them for a chat
without a word....imagine that
    we ate an elderberry stew
across a bridge inTimbuktu
with seven sisters singing grace
   we bought a condo on the place
I caught some stars at dinnertime
   we ate them with blueberry wine
then mother called me from the moon
she smiled and told me "Be home soon".
  '"illoshka wants his hat returned,
you should have asked,and now youv'e learned'
  I should have asked,imagine that
before I wore illoshkas hat
  I took it off and looked around
my mind returned to solid ground
   The tigers turned to swaying palms
the seven sisters sang their psalms
   and waved Goodbye across the bay
the condo turned to bits of clay
   and I went home where mother sat
waiting for illoshkas hat.


Details | I do not know? | |

Cellophane bags

(This is a fictional poem)
When I was a child, I ordered action figures through the mail.
They sent them in cellophane bags and I always caught hell.
I removed the action figures and threw away the bags.
Instead of being trusted, I was constantly nagged.
Mom found some of the cellophane bags when she looked in the trash.
Dad went through my things because he thought I had drugs stashed.
They checked my body for needle marks, they even looked between my toes.
I told them that I didn't take drugs but they wouldn't let it go.
Dad said that I had to be spanked.
He said it would hurt now but one day he'd be thanked.
He put me over his knee and slapped my rear.
I had a porcupine in my pants and it drove Dad to tears.
My parents constantly hounded me during my youth.
They never believed me even though I was telling the truth.
During my prom, I was grounded instead of spanked.
Dad couldn't go to work for days because of the sugar I poured in his gas tank.
When my parents found my flea powder, they thought it was cocaine.
They handcuffed me to the bed and poured it down the drain.
They still think I'm a drug user even though I work for the DEA.
They won't believe me no matter what I say.


Details | I do not know? | |

Malcolm in the Middle

(Based on the TV show.)

This was a show about Malcolm who's a genius teen.
He had four brothers, a dad and a mom who's mean.
The parents were constantly angry at Reese.
He was a thug who didn't give them a minutes peace.
Francis was sent to military school just because he pierced his nose.
A lot of people laugh when they watch those shows.
Dewey and Jamie were the two youngest boys.
Watching this disfunctional family brings people lots of joy.
Malcolm worked at a grocery store and his mom did too.
He got his ___ kicked by a man on stilts, that was humiliating to go through.
I've spent many hours laughing at these people who are funny.
They had to star as messed up kids but at least they have money.


Details | I do not know? | |

Sittin' At A Green Light

I honked at an old woman sittin’ at a green light
She was sittin’ at a green light, you see.
After I honked a few more times
She looked in her mirror at me.

Just sittin’ at that green light, what was she thinkin’?
But I guess that’s the elderly for you
What shade of green was she waitin’ for?
So I did what others would do.

I was impatient, I was running thin
‘Bout the old woman who was sittin’ there
The light just might turn yellow again
Just go. Go anywhere!

That old woman that was sittin’ at that green light
Was a woman just like no other
The only one who would sit to annoy me
Who else could it be but my mother?


Details | Rhyme | |

Mother-in-Law

Don't answer the phone
It might be your mother-in-law
She heard a rumor
Her daughter has a flaw

Her husband
Yes, that's you
It seem men get the worst
From a womans view

If you need some help
Please let me share
I'm a 3 time divorcee
I can tear them down with a stare