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Miracle Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Miracle

These Miracle Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Miracle. These are the best examples of Miracle Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

Details | Limerick |

Slow Golf

Golfers ahead were really slow
because their dead balls just wouldn't go
     we offered them beer,
     later we found cheer--
 they stepped aside to let it outflow.


Details | Haiku |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?


Details | Clerihew |

Not, yet

I dreamt myself as poet-frog
And good Fancy` Fairy
Would stoop to pick my verse…
But she didn`t come.


Details | Verse |

Joy To The World

There once was a couple
Names of Mary and Joe
5 Months off wedded bliss
And not one seed did Joe sow.

Then one day Mary sat Joe down
Said she had news to make him glad
A wonderful thing had happened
And he was to be a dad.

Joe looked at Mary
As if she had gone crazy
Woman how can this be
I’ve done nought to make a baby.

It was a miracle says Mary
Happened the other night
The Lord visited me and I saw Heaven
And the room was filled with light.

He said to me you are chosen
To have a virgin birth
The child shall be the son of God
The saviour of all Earth.

Now Joe was a simple man
But of Mary’s tale he was not sure
Do you think I was born yesterday
Was it John from next door?

My darling Joe I tell the truth
This you must believe
You are the only one for me
Whom I would never deceive.

And Joe saw in Mary’s tears
That she was sincere
He said he would spread the word
And fill the world with cheer.

The world rejoiced and praised
When the baby boy was born
Gifts arrived daily by first class post
Gold, frankincense and perfume to be worn

Now Joe became a sadder man
Thoughts of Mary with another caused him pain
So he gathered up all the gold
And was never seen again.


Details | Verse |

Mary And Joe

There once was a couple
Names of Mary and Joe
5 Months off wedded bliss
And not one seed did Joe sow.

Then one day Mary sat Joe down
Said she had news to make him glad
A wonderful thing had happened
And he was to be a dad.

Joe looked at Mary
As if she had gone crazy
Woman how can this be
I’ve done nought to make a baby.

It was a miracle says Mary
Happened the other night
The Lord visited me and I saw Heaven
And the room was filled with light.

He said to me you are chosen
To have a virgin birth
The child shall be the son of God
The saviour of all Earth.

Now Joe was a simple man
But of Mary’s tale he was not sure
Do you think I was born yesterday
Was it John from next door?

My darling Joe I tell the truth
This you must believe
You are the only one for me
Whom I would never deceive.

And Joe saw in Mary’s tears
That she was sincere
He said he would spread the word
And fill the world with cheer.

The world rejoiced and praised
When the baby boy was born
Gifts arrived daily by first class post
Gold, frankincense and perfume to be worn

Now Joe became a sadder man
Thoughts of Mary with another caused him pain
So he gathered up all the gold
And was never seen again.


Details | Light Poetry |

The Self-Hate Miracle Plan

Let's lose weight,
Let's discover the
yin and yang of
protein and complex
carbohydrate.
It's never too late
to let your
corporeal fat eat
cake.
So let's lose
weight.
And, then?
Then, let's look
inside your
cavernous space,
And discover your
previously hidden, 
And uniquely
transcendent,
And unparagoned, 
Blissful Essence.

Let's go!

Let's lose weight.
Because it's the
only way - to lose
weight.
Let's deflate your
billowing concertina
face.
Let's drain away
those flabby
bingo-arm thighs;
Sight the edacity: I
snack, I die.
Chant: For I am
Spirit, pure and
eternal..For I am
Spirit, pure and
eternal..
Let's lose weight.

Pain-feast your
lingua-nausea
mantra;
Really utilise your
hidden pneuma
matter.
Oh, and,
The flashing lights,
the tingling arms?
Mouth striking
shapes to burglar
alarms?
Perhaps, a smidgen
of self harm?
Tremors, blushing,
perspiring, shaking,
flushing?
That's okay:
If it ain't
hurting..
It's a positive
thing to focus there
your self-hate.

It's not easy to
lose weight -
Especially when you
refuse to lose
weight.
No, we mustn't allow
your feckless
mentalism to
dictate.
Instead,
Appreciate yourself
depreciate:
Scale away your
inducing corpus,
And irrigate.
Irrigate.

Stare yourself down,
reflecting off your
plate.
Speed-read all my
magazines:
Glean the
enlightened screed
of my shapely New
Age dream;
Allow me to melt
away your pizza
footprint;
Gracefully fade you
to your sculpted
meme.

Unsuicide bomb those
spare tyres with
love.
Vacuum-pack your
stomach with tender
wires - see above.
Let's lose weight.
And strike your
utter repose!

And you'll soon
delightedly discover
your swooning lover,
And how the sweet
mirror shall melt of
you!

Be like a sliver of
crystal glass;
As svelte as the
skin of flowing
water;
Skim through the air
like a flying
saucer;
Writhe your
multi-orgasmic
tiger,
Deposing ounces, you
shall footfall
utopia.
Let's lose weight.

You can do it!
..For I am Spirit,
pure and eternal..
Let's go!

for more humorous
verse: sukispangles
dot blogspot.com


Details | Rhyme |

Helping McGee

McGee was late again
It seemed like his, 'Whole' life
"I promise, to be on time"
He said to his new wife

The city, was so crowded
And at such a hectic pace
He drove around the block
But there was no parking space

So he glimpsed up to the heavens
Begging help, from God on high
And that he'd give up drinking
Go to Mass and never lie

If God would grant a parking space
So he could park his car
McGee would give up all his vice
And be a better man by far

Then , just then, there appeared 
An empty parking space
It popped up out of nowhere
Before McGee's own face

McGee glanced at the heavens
And said "Thank You Lord Your Grace
But it's Ok,  Forget it
I've just I found me-self a space"




Details | Rhyme |

Truce?

She sat there spell bound
It's so hard to believe
Never has she been speechless 
It’s a miracle it seems

No one could comprehend
Why the sudden change
Half time was over
It was back to the game.

The  miracle suddenly disappeared
She was her same old self
Her mouth in full gear
No one could figure what had happened here

Then a wise old man
Stood up and said
If we can’t watch the game
Your commercials are dead

                             Cile Beer