Submit Poems
Get Your Premium Membership

Funny Lyric Poems | Funny Poems About Lyric

These Funny Lyric poems are examples of Funny poems about Lyric. These are the best examples of Funny Lyric poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

If you don't find the poem you want here, try our incredible, super duper, all-knowing, advanced poem search engine.

Details | Limerick | |

His funeral

That he planned his funeral is factual
And being a prankster quite actual
He prerecorded his voice
So when we kneeled on the joist
He said, "Hi there! Don't I look natural."

Copyright © Judith Angell Meyer | Year Posted 2008

Details | Lyric | |

I Am The World's First Selfie Poem

I am the world's first selfie poem,
Held aloft by the world's first selfie poem stick,
A look-at-me wordsmith pic,
Here I am fluttering beside Tower Bridge.

So here I pose on the left bank;
Here I'm by the Eiffel Tower,
Here I selfie seductively next to the shower.
Ignore the bidet -
Admire my framed parchment hanging above a plastic flower
pot.

Here I am analysed by a poet I barely know,
Here I repose at a jazz festival amid falling snow;
Fractal flake dew blushes my paper skin,
Ink suggestively oozing, blotting,
Have I been crying or exercising?

Here I am tender and damp,
Here I am sunbathing, drying beneath a lava lamp,
My words florescent and glowing,
Quite becoming, a little knowing.

Do my words look big in this?
Are my right words in the wrong order
a hit or a miss?
Am I a PUA verse,
Or a try-hard blow-hard piece of doggerel, cursed?

Here I'm a selfie poem looking for love,
Not a one-night-stand performance poem only read once,
Then abandoned, carelessly tossed away, orphaned on the street,
Clasped by a refuse collector with his selfie poem collecting stick,
Torn,
Unshared,
To be recycled, reincarnated, cared for, repaired..?

(for more of my humorous poetry go to: http://sukispangles.blogspot.com)

Copyright © Suki Spangles | Year Posted 2015

Details | Light Poetry | |

The Call of the Alpha Male

Robin Hood, man in tights Julius Caesar, might makes right Alexander, called "the Great" Sitting Bull, righteous hate Robert the Bruce, Attila the Hun Charlemagne, Napoleon Hear the call of the alpha male! Warriors leave a bloody trail. George Washington, man on the spot JFK and Camelot Thomas Jefferson, renaissance man Abe Lincoln took a stand Ronald Reagan, Richard III Henry VIII, Harry Byrd Hear the call of the alpha male! In politics it's all for sale. Hemingway, Shakespeare, Kant, and Plato Chaucer, Shelley, Cicero, Cato Voltaire, Dickens, Rene Descartes Byron, Lawrence, Jean-Paul Sartre Hear the call of the alpha male! Some prefer to write the tale. Wolfgang Mozart, dead so young Leonard Bernstein's song is sung Picasso, art you love to hate Ludwig Beethoven, voice of Fate Bach, Lennon, and Shostakovich Monet, Manet, Buddy Rich Hear the call of the alpha male! Art and music fill some sails. Joe Montana, football star Michael Jordan raised the bar Wayne Gretzsky, Hall of Fame Jesse Owens changed the game Rockne, Ruth, Gehrig, Orr Chamberlain, Beckham, Man O' War Hear the call of the alpha male! Athletic prowess up for sale. Tyrone Power, Harrison Ford John Glenn, Sir Thomas More Edmund Hillary, John Donne Albert Einstein, Brigham Young James Dean, Alvin York Margaret Thatcher, Robert Bork Audie Murphy, Mohandas Gandhi Chris Columbus, Walter Ralegh Hear the call of the alpha male! Now it's time to end this tale. Woe to she who hears his cry, Destined, like as not, to die; For alpha males blaze bright and sweet, But she-moths burn inside their heat.

Copyright © Mary Oliver Rotman | Year Posted 2015

Details | Lyric | |

Oh Uhura - To Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah

There was a Starship Enterprise,
It was the ruler of the skies,
But you don't really care for sci-fi, do you?
With Captain Kirk
And Mr Spock
And don’t forget the trademark jock,
And there upon the bridge you’ll find Uhura

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura 
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

You’ll find Bones Macoy down in sickbay,
“I’m a doctor Jim” he’d say,
And cure whatever space bug ran through you,
He’ll banish away every cough,
Even if your name’s Chekov,
Or perhaps you might be sweet Uhura

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

To make the starship up and go,
The man you really need to know,
Is the Helm officer called Sulu,
But if it’s a message you’d like to send,
Then of course you can depend,
Upon the talented Miss Uhura,

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

Your voyage lasted three short years
But despite the trekkie’s fears,
It wouldn’t be the last time that we’d view you,
Of feature films there’d be twelve,
Before the franchise they would shelve,
But we won’t forget you dear Uhura

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

Oh Uhura

Copyright © Sharon Smith | Year Posted 2013

Details | Free verse | |

Weeding The Moonscape Of My Back Garden

Weeding the
moonscape of my back
garden,
Truly, it's a big
deal.
Weeding the
moonscape of my back
garden,
My nerves shredding:
The concrete weeds,
I steal
myself for this task
Herculean,
I've delayed, I
admit, for cosmic
eons.

Bravely, finally, I
resolved and booked
one week's annual
leave -
To prepare, to
recover,
From this task that
may take up to two
full-blooded
man-hours!

I'm impelled to
enquire,
Must I find the
power
to take on the
abysmal brat of
flowers?
Fetch me a flask of
sports energy drink,
Complex sugar, I
think, my devotional
shrink.

You see,
I write poetry, so
must I also do
things?
Must I really stand
alone on that flat
dune of grey,
Pockmarked with such
monstrous green
swaying?
The weeds, they are
almost thirty
centimetres, and
grimly rising!
I stare at them from
the window, I'm not
really crying.
Wouldn't you rather
I just wrote this
poem?
How many fresh dead
poets does the world
need?
I'd like to be a
living tragic poet,
not one that weeds!
(That's too tragic,
even for me).

And, look over
there! See!
I might get bitten
by that bumblebee!
And I sneeze like a
banshee when near
trees;
Sometimes three
sneezed sneezes I
issue near weeds.
Yes, banshees do
sneeze.

Weeds are angry
wannabe baby trees,
I'm feeling quite
I'll already,
So ill, I've just
spelt it I'll.
Now that's I'll,
Sorry, ill.
Where's my quill?
I need to scroll the
interweb,
Order some pills -
Those ones,
Exported from the
moon, made in
Hy-Brasil;
Those especial
potions you don't
require an ignoring
doctor to see,
I must have illegal
anxiety.
I'm a poet, it's my
job, silly!
And -
I. Don't. Do.
Wrestling. Weeds.

Yet, here I stand on
the precipice,
There they sway
taunting me,
The emerald streaked
posse of thorny
triffid pisse.

Well, here goes -
One small step for
man, maybe,
But one giant leap
for a poet such as
this..


for more of my
humorous poetry just
google Suki Spangles

Copyright © Suki Spangles | Year Posted 2014

Details | Verse | |

Invisible Ladies

Invisible ladies! You see them ev’rywhere,
In sensible raincoats and Margaret Thatcher hair.
Standing at bus-stops, watching the bus go by:
Waiting at crossings,
Letting the traffic splatter mud in their eyes …

Invisible ladies, all in their “middle years”.
Invisible ladies:
No hopes, but so many fears …

   SO polite! So ladylike!
   Just don’t mind us, don’t make a fuss … Wouldn’t be right …
   But deep inside, there’s such a rage …
   You’ll catch it too, this vanishing plague
   Called MIDDLE AGE!

Invisible ladies … shopping bags all akimbo:
Moving like zombies, each in her private limbo.
Pushing a trolley at ASDA or Sainsbury:
Examining prices,
Searching for bargains – ever more desp’rately …

Invisible ladies, choosing the longest queue …
The one with the baby:
Babies, they’re visible to …

   SO polite! So ladylike!
   Just don’t mind us, don’t make a fuss … Wouldn’t be right …
   But deep inside, there’s such a rage …
   You’ll catch it too, this vanishing plague
   Called MIDDLE AGE!
	
Invisible ladies! When somebody barges by,
Instead of complaining, they always apologise!
They oughta get angry, and maybe get pushy too:
Say, “HEY! Look AT me!
See, I’m a PERSON, really very like you!”

Invisible ladies, everyone knows one …
They live in our houses …
You probably call yours “MUM!”





(This is an anthem for all fifty-somethings - Chaps too!)


Copyright © Frances King | Year Posted 2009

Details | Lyric | |

A Piece Of Lace

[Verse-1]
I watched you walk by yesterday, and yes again you turned and looked away
You never give me the time of day, and you're always looking sad and grey
A small piece of lace from your pink dress, is all that's left of you and me
Wish I could take back yesterday, when I went astray and set you free
I wish I could find the words to say, instead of making you look away
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Verse-2]
I know that I still need your love, because my heart is always feeling blue
And I guess I'll never be the same, for playing around and being untrue
You gotta know this isn't what I wanted, cause now I'm always on my knees
But I can see how you like your freedom, of being with him and not with me
But baby a twist of fate's what tore us apart, and placed this look upon my face
Oh! it's still funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Chorus]
A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest
And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay
I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Verse-3]
All those things that you used to do, is what made me fall in love with you
You gave me your all once upon a time, but like a fool I up and flew
And the things I went and said that day, made you fade and drift away
I never shoulda treated you that way, cause baby I need you here today
The sun keeps hiding behind the clouds, and all I do is sit and cry
And this piece of lace holds my heart at bay, I don't know...maybe it's a sign

[Chorus]
A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest
And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay
I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

Copyright © George Martin | Year Posted 2007

Details | Lyric | |

You Won't Tell Them How You Lied

[verse-1]
Tonight it feels like, the end of the world
Tonight you showed me, you were never my girl
I wonder do you know, what my heart is doing
Well girl it's breaking in two, since you've gone

[verse-2]
Go ahead tell those lies, to all your friends
Go ahead tell them, what a big fool i've been
I wonder will you tell them, you have a heart of stone
Or will you call them, and joke about me on the phone

[chorus]
Well be sure to tell them, how you broke my heart
And how funny it was, when I set down and cried
Tell them how, you tore my world apart
'Cause I know, you won't tell them how you lied

[verse-3]
You're gonna have to be careful, when you're drinking
You're gonna have to be sober, when you're bragging
You'll have to learn to shut your mouth, when your wasted
Or everyone will no your a liar, and how your mind is twisted

[chorus]
Well be sure you tell them, how you broke my heart
And how funny it was, when I set down and cried
And tell them how, you tore my world apart
'Cause girl I know, you won't tell them how you lied

Copyright © George Martin | Year Posted 2007

Details | I do not know? | |

The break up- Footle contest

Cold stares
heart tares

Copyright © Heather Hill | Year Posted 2010

Details | Light Poetry | |

I Had To Write This Poem

I had to write this poem 
because I thought of this one great line,
What do you think -
will it stand the test of time?

Well, I had to write it down
to deter other poets stealing this idea;
You know lines are clutched from the atmosphere,
Or they fall like apples, spill over like beer.

I had to write this poem,
Because I thought of this one great line;
Like a beat messiah,
My acid milk turns to wine.

And now I feel fine, and your pleasure
in my one sparkling line.
I had to write this poem,
Hidden in this gem of a line.

Copyright © Suki Spangles | Year Posted 2015

Details | Rhyme | |

Gummy Worms

Gummy Worms

Everybody likes me.
Nobody hates me.
Because I share my worms –
Yummy, yummy gummy worms
Sour and sweet yummy worms
Sitting in my kitchen, sharing worms!

(SHOUT!)
Yummy, yummy gummy worms!

Collaboration by Dane Smith-Johnsen and her 6 year old grandson
Inspired by the Childhood song, “Sittin’ in the Garden eatin’ Worms”
June 13, 2010

Copyright © Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen | Year Posted 2010

Details | Limerick | |

CLIP IT ON

Clip it on and don't think twice
Clip it on cuz it looks nice.
Clip it on so you know where it is at.
Clip it on maybe to a hat.
Clip it on so it does not fall off.
Clip it on so your pet don't runaway.
Clip it on so it stays in place.
Clip it on in outer space.
Clip it on every day.
Clip it on around the world.
JUST CLIP IT ON.

Copyright © craig schaber | Year Posted 2011

Details | Limerick | |

The Monster Mash

<                              dancing to the hit song monster mash
                                frankenstein and werewolf got real smashed
                                took the witches culdeen
                                and boiled up mummys spleen
                                Quasimodo joined in on the bash


                                witches brew of brains spleens gizzards hearts
                                illuminates party from it's start
                                Dracula and zombies
                                lurking for free bodies
                                poor old frankie's wife just fell apart 



                               the bewitching dance came to its end
                               when bats flew in frenzy around den 
                               on this all hallows eve
                               trickery was up sleeve
                               sent my 3 black cats in to defend

Copyright © Katherine Stella | Year Posted 2010

Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

Copyright © Dan Keir | Year Posted 2013

Details | Light Poetry | |

The Self-Hate Miracle Plan

Let's lose weight,
Let's discover the
yin and yang of
protein and complex
carbohydrate.
It's never too late
to let your
corporeal fat eat
cake.
So let's lose
weight.
And, then?
Then, let's look
inside your
cavernous space,
And discover your
previously hidden, 
And uniquely
transcendent,
And unparagoned, 
Blissful Essence.

Let's go!

Let's lose weight.
Because it's the
only way - to lose
weight.
Let's deflate your
billowing concertina
face.
Let's drain away
those flabby
bingo-arm thighs;
Sight the edacity: I
snack, I die.
Chant: For I am
Spirit, pure and
eternal..For I am
Spirit, pure and
eternal..
Let's lose weight.

Pain-feast your
lingua-nausea
mantra;
Really utilise your
hidden pneuma
matter.
Oh, and,
The flashing lights,
the tingling arms?
Mouth striking
shapes to burglar
alarms?
Perhaps, a smidgen
of self harm?
Tremors, blushing,
perspiring, shaking,
flushing?
That's okay:
If it ain't
hurting..
It's a positive
thing to focus there
your self-hate.

It's not easy to
lose weight -
Especially when you
refuse to lose
weight.
No, we mustn't allow
your feckless
mentalism to
dictate.
Instead,
Appreciate yourself
depreciate:
Scale away your
inducing corpus,
And irrigate.
Irrigate.

Stare yourself down,
reflecting off your
plate.
Speed-read all my
magazines:
Glean the
enlightened screed
of my shapely New
Age dream;
Allow me to melt
away your pizza
footprint;
Gracefully fade you
to your sculpted
meme.

Unsuicide bomb those
spare tyres with
love.
Vacuum-pack your
stomach with tender
wires - see above.
Let's lose weight.
And strike your
utter repose!

And you'll soon
delightedly discover
your swooning lover,
And how the sweet
mirror shall melt of
you!

Be like a sliver of
crystal glass;
As svelte as the
skin of flowing
water;
Skim through the air
like a flying
saucer;
Writhe your
multi-orgasmic
tiger,
Deposing ounces, you
shall footfall
utopia.
Let's lose weight.

You can do it!
..For I am Spirit,
pure and eternal..
Let's go!

for more humorous
verse: sukispangles
dot blogspot.com

Copyright © Suki Spangles | Year Posted 2014

Details | Light Poetry | |

One Day I Ate A Vegetarian Prawn

One day I ate a vegetarian prawn
I know it was vegetarian
Because all prawns are vegetarian
In fact they are all so vegetarian
They don't even eat vegetables
And you can't get much more vegetarian than that
For a prawn

One day I ate a vegetarian prawn
I think it was a Tuesday
Although I don't recall which Tuesday it was
No wait
I do
It was the very Tuesday
The very Tuesday that I ate a vegetarian prawn

One day I ate a vegetarian prawn
It was quite warm
But not as warm as the prawn
I'm a Sagittarian
And this vegetarian prawn had never eaten a vegetarian
So I asked myself why did it call itself a vegetarian prawn

One day I ate a vegetarian prawn
Thankfully it didn't taste of vegetarians
Unless vegetarians taste of prawns
Vegetarian prawns

One day I ate a vegetarian prawn
But on another day I didn't
I do not know what this proves
No wait
I do
It proves that one day I ate a vegetarian prawn
But on the other day..
Oh this is getting so complicated

One day I ate a vegetarian prawn
While doing yoga
I never knew vegetarian prawns could do yoga
I said to the prawn
I never knew vegetarian prawns could do yoga
Neither did I she said
I'm a vegan prawn
I only eat carnivores
They don't taste of vegetarians
Prawn vegetarian prawns


http://sukispangles.blogspot.co.uk

Copyright © Suki Spangles | Year Posted 2015

Details | Free verse | |

A Simple Southern Christmas

It's gonna be a simple southern Christmas here.
All I want from Santa is some egg nog, bourbon and beer.
I'm gonna wait on Santa Christmas Eve night,
and when he's not lookin' I just might,
steal his reindeer.
It's gonna be a simple southern Christmas here.
I'm sending out my Christmas cheer.
I'm gonna sit on my front porch swing and sing.
It will be a good thing to hear those jingle bells ring.
I thought I seen Santa on the backwoods bayou road,
but instead it was a big fat toad.
It'a a wonderful simple southern Christmas here.
Santa just brought me some egg nog, bourbon, and beer.
When he wasn't lookin' I stole his reindeer.
So now I can deliver my Christmas cheer.
But hurry, hurry, I'm in a rush,
got to give that reindeer a little push.
Got to go, got to go,
got to get home to fix my gumbo.
It is Christmas day,
and I'm in  a rush I must say.
It's gonna be a simple southern Christmas here.
Just add egg nog, bourbon and beer.
Mix it up with some Christmas cheer.
I'm ready for Christmas every year.

Copyright © shannon farlouis | Year Posted 2010

Details | Lyric | |

Logistics - A parody of a certain delivery company's television advert, to the tune That's Amore

Yes we don’t give a toss,
If your package is lost,
That’s logistics,
If it’s broken or bent,
Or has multiple dents,
That’s logistics,
If it’s fragile and breaks,
It was not our mistake,
That’s logistics,
Well you were not at home,
So we sent it to Rome,
That’s logistics!

So incredibly late,
That it’s gone out of date,
That’s logistics,
We don’t know where it went,
Are you sure it was sent?
That’s logistics,
Your parcels we’ll stash,
But we’ll still take your cash,
That’s logistics,
What an item on time?!
Oh no wait, it’s not mine,
That’s logistics!


Copyright © Sharon Smith | Year Posted 2012

Details | Lyric | |

Computer blues

If had a computer or two
Lord I could raise my views
If I had two I tell ya what I would do
Crazy computers crazy computers
But Lord you know what’s true
I got one computer hope doesn’t overload
Well I thought she was a girl
I meet her online
So fortunate this time
She heard a had computer or two
Lord those crazy computers crazy computers
I got one computer hope doesn’t overload
Hey now mama
With forward and send
You are your next friend
She knows my computer I have heard
Lord she knows I’m a computer nerd
I got one computer hope doesn’t overload
Well my baby went out
Now it’s gone
Got no computer using the phone
She is crazy with computers
Yeah she crazy with computers
What the Ph....

Copyright © John Beam | Year Posted 2015

Details | Light Poetry | |

Welcome To The Garden Gnome Shopping Channel

Welcome to The Garden Gnome Shopping Channel,
And,
If this is your first time here -
Why?
Where have you been?

We mass produce uniquely,
Our gnome-lines are refreshed twice-weekly,
Each gnome has it's own i.d number,
So rest assured,
One can never be mistaken for another.

Mould-engineered by plastic injection craftsmen,
Then hand-finished by aerosol paint artisans,
Your garden gnome is guaranteed authentic -
Their bobble-hatted face won't drip,
And their shatter-proof head will nod happily on windy days.

We are the only licensed garden gnome sellers in the UK.
So what are you waiting for?

Rome wasn't built in a day,
But our gnomes are,
Meaning your gnome could be with you within thirty-six hours,
Or - if you require it urgently - within twenty-four,
And it will cost you only four pounds more,
Couriered directly from our air-conditioned warehouse in Bangalore.

sukispangles.blogspot.com

Copyright © Suki Spangles | Year Posted 2014

Details | Dramatic monologue | |

who says

I wouldn't wanna be anybody else, hey 
You made me insecure, to me I wasn't good enough 
But who are you to judge When you're a diamond in the rough
 I'm sure you got some things You'd like to change about yourself
 But when it comes to me I wouldn't want to be anybody else
 I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me You got every right to a beautiful life, 
come on
 Who says, who says you're not perfect 
Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty Who says you're not pretty Who says you're not beautiful, who says?
 It's such a funny thing How nothing's funny when it's you 
You tell 'em what you mean But they keep whitin' out the the truth
 It's like the work of art That never get to see the light Keep you beneath the stars Won't let you touch the sky
 I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me You got every right to a beautiful life,
 come on
 Who says, who says you're not perfect 
Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty 
Who says you're not pretty
 Who says you're not beautiful, who says?
 Who says you're not star potential Who says you're not presidential Who says you can't be in movies Listen to me, listen to me
 Who says you don't pass the test 
Who says you can't be the best Who said, who said? 
Would you tell me who said that, yeah Who said
 Who says, who says you're not perfect
 Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty 
Who says you're not pretty 
Who says you're not beautiful, who says?
 Who says you're not perfect 
Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty Who says you're not pretty Who says you're not beautiful, who says

Copyright © prarthana shankar | Year Posted 2012

Details | Light Poetry | |

Two Games Of Two Halves

Women play their mind-games of 3d-chess,
Studiously,
With men who play bingo trouser roulette,
Ludicrously.

It's two games of two halves,
And the house usually wins.


Copyright © Suki Spangles | Year Posted 2015

Details | Free verse | |

Grandma Was Dancing

She was a tappin' to the tunes...
of those Mississippi blues...
step-pin' out, in her white...
Pat-en-leather shoes,

We were a watchin' her a prancin',
all through the kitchen, dancin'...
for she was so...hot & sizzlin'...
hummin' to those Mississippi tunes...

Funny curlers too, upon...
her head...for a new... Hair dew,...
she was, a swirlin'-in that bakers apron,
when her head...star-ted a bobbin' to...
those Mississip-pi blues,

'Pots were a knockin'...
Grandma a sockin' down all she brews,
while that kettle there was whistlin',
in har-mo-ny, with them good ole...
good ole...mississip-pi moves,'

That floor there, was a bouncin'
holdin' hands we were a jumpin',
an-a hoppin' In the kitchen, to those...
                  sounds ...
Where Grandma's feet were a stompin',
In her new...New-white-sexy-pat-en-
leather-shoes...
(ya hoo)

Copyright © Perry Campanella | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric | |

The Obama Song

Chorus:
             Barack Obama
             Barack Obama
             He's the U.S.A.'s own Dalai Lama.

             Barack Obama
             Barack Obama
             He's the guy who's here to save yer Momma.

Verse 1:

Oh yeah Obama's here an' he's really cool
Gonna tell yer kids to pay attention in school
Gonna make us all follow the Golden Rule
'Cause he knows Michelle ain't gonna suffer no fools!

He's an all-around, straightup nice kinda guy
Who don't get upset when ya scream "You Lie!"
He cares about the Earth and he cares about the sky
Gives ya cash for the clunkers you were stupid to buy.

Chorus

Verse 2:

He's gonna stim-u-late us, gonna spread the wealth,
Gonna write out a prescription for the nation's health,
Gonna come down on Insurance like a big black Stealth
Gonna take those stem cells down off the shelf!

He's gonna see we win in Afghanistan,
Someway, somehow - without a plan.
When yer rude to da cops he is da Man
Who'll give ya both beers an' make it right again.

Chorus

Verse 3:

He's appointed more Czars than the U.S.S.R.,
Gonna raise the mileage on yer car
Gonna lower those emissions both near and far
And do it lookin' snappy like a First Exec Star.

Can't answer "yes" or "no", it takes a paragraph
To get to the point, then it's good for a laugh
The Right hates everybody servin' on his Staff
- But their side of the Aisle makes most of the gaffes.

Chorus

Verse 4:

Is there anything Obamaman cannot do?
The assertions are fantastic; some may even be true.
He beat out Mrs. Clinton right outta da blue,
Now he's lookin' out for me and he's lookin' out for you.

If his ears were any bigger he could teach himself to fly,
But despite his geekiness he's still a heckuva guy
His heart is fulla Hope, his head is in the sky
An' if you give him grief Ms. Pelosi'll make you cry.

                                   WORD!

Chorus et finis

Copyright © William Masonis | Year Posted 2009

Details | Haiku | |

Johnny Come Blow Your Horn

pillar of trumpets
are no match in a garden
for the hummingbird

Copyright © Katherine Stella | Year Posted 2010

Details | Haiku | |

All About the Music: The Infinite Magic of Lyricism

Pop may be catchy
But not lyrically deep
Case in point: Chris Brown.


(N.B. Poem written after hearing "Don't Wake Me Up")

Copyright © Dan Keir | Year Posted 2013

Details | Lyric | |

Walkin' With My Wiener In My Hand......

(to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

See the frost, watch it glisten
Too much beer, I'm on a mission
To write my name in the snow 
With a funny yellow glow
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!

Got a trenchcoat that I'm wearing
So that I can do some "sharing"
Maybe my legs are too white
That gives 'em a fright
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!

At the lounge we were chillin'
After time, my bladder's fillin'
I stagger left and then right
Hope I make it in time
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!

Feels so good to drain my lizard
From behind I hear a whisper
"I hope you'll be done soon, 
'cause you're in the ladies room!"
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!

Copyright © Jim David | Year Posted 2010

Details | Limerick | |

THE CLOWNS for contest

Once there were clowns in a circus, 
Whose clown's knew not of their purpose.
 
None, laughed at their tricks.
Nor their slaps and kicks; 

Because Nuns hate fracas, ruckus. 






Copyright © Vicki Acquah | Year Posted 2015

Details | ABC | |

The Garbage Truck

As we stop, I pull out my jar of Vic's vapor rub 
I put some up my nostrils, this job you cannot love 
But it pays the bills, I make my living 
Trash day is when people are most giving 
They are selfless when getting rid of what they see as junk 
Whew! That smell from the back of a garbage truck 
I spot a pair of shoes for my kid 
I will wash them first, get rid of the odor of rotted squid 
My niece's birthday is coming up soon 
I found a playhouse with dishes, forks, cups and spoons 
It's family night tonight at home 
The unknown video I found will be shown 
Finding the right stuff is a matter of luck 
It is just my point of view from the back of a garbage truck 
I found a half a bucket of KFC 
I take a smell, it smells as fresh as can be, what a surprise for my family 
Two hours later, the family can't keep their meal down 
They are so ungrateful about the food I found 
I am on a strict budget, I have to find a way to save a couple bucks 
More dinners will be found because I work on the back of a garbage truck 

Copyright © Eugene Carmen | Year Posted 2008

Details | Rhyme | |

How he killed her love

Here's a story, of a cheating con man.
Faithfulness, he does demand,
that's the way, hes got it planned.
He has her, eating from his hand.

He's a liar, and a cheat!
Gosh darn man, drives for weeks.
Never will be, hers to keep.
Better run girl! Its getting deep!


He's always gone, while shes at home.
His eyes, have been known, to roam.
While hes talking to her, on the phone,
all of a sudden, his service is gone!
He thinks, she will never know,
and besides, she wouldn't dare go.
Maybe, let a few tears flow,
Her true feelings, she won't show.


Hes a liar, and a cheat!
Gosh darn man, drives for weeks!
Never will be hers, to keep.
Better run girl! Its getting deep!


She wants his time and attention,
but this only causes, friction.
He wants her butt, in the kitchen,
and to stop, all that silly wishing!
Now, this girl isn't wise, for her years,
although, she knows, what she hears.
His unspoken words, only confirm her fears!
She just doesn't, Change his gears!

Hes a liar and a cheat!
Gosh darn man, drives for weeks.
Never will be, hers to keep.
Better run girl! Its getting deep!

Only so much, can she stand!
She wants a man, that will hold her hand.
Everyday, she won't live in dread.
A woman needs to, hold up her head!
Not worry about, her face being red...
Well now ,that's the story of
"How he killed, her love"
He should have, put her above,
not after, everything else, he does.
That's how, she became a was,
Cause, hes a liar, and a cheat!
Her heart no longer, his to keep!
Let the next one, kiss his feet!
This one has, admitted defeat!

Copyright © susan mayes | Year Posted 2011