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Funny God Poems | Funny Poems About God

These Funny God poems are examples of Funny poems about God. These are the best examples of Funny God poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |


Love was in the air when he laid eyes on her.
Childhood; elementary and even high school with her.
Walking towards her, he greeted her.
Anxiety spiraled as he hugged her.
Conversation grew deeper as he sat with her.
Wanting to get closer because he was falling for her.

Another woman called pausing the time he was having with her.
Knowing he had to answer; he stepped away and spoke to her.
She stated that something wasn't quite right with her.
She said that her stomach had been bothering her.
Now he's thinking back if he came inside her.
Thinking if she lied to him about her tubes being tied within her.

Does he blame himself for listening to her?
Knowing right from wrong and yet he can't blame her.
Does he blame the devil for allowing him to be intimate with her?
Is he not a human that makes mistakes just like her?
Begging God to make a way for him and her.
Asking God to forgive him for committing the sin with her.

God said, "relax my son, you were only dreaming of her."

Copyright © Pace INK-U-SCRIPT

Details | Couplet | |


Football coach Bobby Bowden was never one to cuss
But refs make mistakes and coaches have a right to fuss

“St. Bowden” as he was lovingly called by players
Instilled moral values and hushed all the naysayers

He’d not take God’s name in vain, so he coined dadgumit
It became his trademark, might appear in his obit

If a ref made a bad call, he’d race onto the field
Never said God d*** it, when the ref’s call he appealed

"Dadgumitrefereeism" got his point across
The refs would shy away because Bobby was the boss

Sometimes calls were overturned since Bobby was revered
Short and stout in stature, but the refs still shook in fear

The “Saint” played with God on his side and the refs knew it
Dadgumitrefereeism didn't bother God a bit

Copyright © Carolyn Devonshire

Details | Limerick | |

O Worldly Concept god

“O commercialized corporate franchise” 
Thou that holds illusions in selling lies
    Max out your credit cards
    Lenders be holder’s lords
Forfeiting all bank notes as owner cries

“O commercialized corporate franchise” 
My babies wonder about Christmas guys
    My babies’ futures be scared
    Must obey corporate lords
“O thou commercialized corporate lies”

Just commercialized greedy Xmas rush
Souls like zombies of  the corporate thrust 
    The X  of  the Christ
    O Love’s sacrifice
“In commercialized corporate we trust”

For Commercialized Humor contest
Sponsored by: Carolyn Devonshire

Copyright © john freeman

Details | Dramatic Verse | |

God Answers Aunt Kate-repost

For the last few days
     her depression had weighed
          heavy, a thick woolen shroud,
              her thoughts thickened by darkening clouds,
                    in an endless tunnel the sides closing in like a narrowing funnel.

She sat, immobile, staring 
      through the window of the house she'd built with such caring.
It'd started as a shack by a pond on some land
                           and she'd hammered and built it
                                               with help from no man.

She kept adding on, room after room,
      as if she, too, suffered from the Winchester doom.

Eccentric, they'd call her, if she had any bread,
      but, since she was poor, she was "soft in the head."

A tiny little woman, emaciated, so thin,
      she was not much more than frail bones under skin.
Yes, she was surely a pitiful thing,
      shoulder blades jutting like primordial wings.

Like an old phonograph with its needle stuck,
          she prayed for death, so far with no luck.

Suddenly there came a tremendous din,
         like demons scratching on her roof of old tin.

Startled, heart pounding in her bird-cage chest,
             she was suddenly afraid of a cardiac arrest.

Armed with her twelve gauge she crept to the door,
         a thousand claws scratching, louder than before.

She'd always been brave and her life had been hard,
           so, gun at the ready, she stepped into the yard.

Locked and loaded and aimed at the roof,
        she feared for her life, to tell you the truth.

(Not minutes ago, she was begging for death,
         now she was worried this might be her last breath.)

Then she looked at the roof and let out a gasp,
         the rifle fell heavily from her stunned grasp.

There on the roof and thick in the trees,
          was a sight that made her weak in the knees.

HUNDREDS of VULTURES all eye-balling her,
        clacking their beaks as they seemed to concur.

Aunt Kate started laughing and laughed 'til she cried,
        she hooped and she hollered, holding on to her sides.

The birds, having reasoned she'd make less than a bite,
                  stretched out their wings and took off in flight.

Her depression has lifted and, I heard a rumor,
       that her life had been saved by God's sense of humor. 

********Many thanks to Aunt Kate for this wonderful true story.**************

Copyright © Danielle White

Details | Rhyme | |

Only God Could Love A Bumblebee

I think that I shall never see
A lovely poem written in defense of the bumblebee!
The ponderous and not so glamorous humble bee -
Obviously dreamed up by a senatorial sub committee!

An old stump that in summer becomes its deadly lair,
It flits about chasing little kids, settling in their hair!
It brandishes its fearsome stinger- its well-known bane,
And when stabbed in the fanny causes a heap o' pain!

It bumbles about with gossamer wings so delicately thin,
And upon its loutish face, notice that fiendish grin!
Such silly poems as this are composed only by fools like me,
But 'tis for certain that only God could love a bumblebee!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

With sincere apologies to one of my favorite poets, Joyce Kilmer,
for my parody of his beautiful poem "Trees"!

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw

Details | Light Poetry | |

The Seventh Day

God took his time to make the world and we are truly blessed, 
He worked so hard for six long days but then He took His rest. 
A whole day off from His creation so what’s a deity to do? 
He slept late then got Himself some premium coffee to brew. 
Then He made himself some cinnamon buns and ate them on the deck, 
He wondered how things were back on Earth but resisted the urge to check. 
They’ll be fine for just one day. How much trouble could they find? 
I left them alone in a paradise and now it’s My turn to unwind. 
Then He remembered the serpent and the tree of wrong and right, 
And He began to worry that they’d never make it to the morning light. 
So He put on a robe and grabbed His keys and headed for the door, 
Then He stopped himself before He left and He paced across the floor. 
If He couldn’t trust them for even one day then what good would they be? 
So He decided to make a mutton sandwich and go and watch TV. 
But He couldn’t concentrate on the game and He was running out of chips, 
And taking a little walk in the garden would be much better for His hips. 
He went to check up on the kids in Eden and what do you suppose?
Sure enough He found the two of them running around in clothes.
They pointed fingers at each other and at the snake and at the tree,
And all the while He thought to Himself, they really do need Me.
That’s why God keeps Himself available no matter what the time or day,
So when we are in need of his strength we only have to pray.
Who knows? Maybe someday we’ll realize what there is at stake,
We’ll be able to take care of ourselves and then God can take a break.
But not yet.

Copyright © Tony Lane

Details | Rhyme | |

Snake's Legs

When snakes had legs and love was free,
A man called Adam climbed a tree.
Although he knew the act was banned,
He plucked an apple with his hand.

In Eden you could always find,
Delicious fruits of every kind.
And everyone of them were free,
Except the apples on this tree.

A snake you see, the curse of man,
Had swayed the mind of his woman.
His partner Eve had tried it all,
Except this luscious juicy ball.

But God had made it very clear,
He was the one you had to fear.
There is one thing you should not do,
”This tree is mine, and not for you!”

When battle rages in man’s mind,
To do what’s right for all mankind.
A woman’s will, will then prevail,
No matter if it makes him fail.

So Adam plundered to his fate,
His woman said she could not wait.
He plucked the fruit to his demise,
No matter that it was unwise.

Now God’s authority was broke,
They’d disobeyed the words he spoke.
He told them both to go away,
And closed his garden from that day.

So Eve and Adam, duly clothed,
Now left that place they’d been betrothed.
And found a world so large and free,
Where they could climb just any tree.

The snake of course had lost it’s legs,
Because he put God’s power to test.
By tempting woman in this way,
He’d had an awful price to pay.

But God it was, who came off worse,
His power was gone, and even worse.
A ‘woman’ had defeated him,
By making man commit this sin.

So women now will rule the land,
Not God, or men you understand?
For women conquer all they see.
While God enjoys ‘snakes legs’ for tea!

Copyright © Ivor Davies

Details | Rhyme | |

Mister God

I knelt by my bed in the morning 
And said, “Please Mister God
I want to be pleasing to You today
But though I try so hard
I sure seem to loose my way.”

“Don’t you worry, little lady”
Into my ear whispered He
Take a walk down the street with Me 
I’ll show you some things
I do as I am Me.”

We walked down the road
The signal was red
A man on a mobike sped with no helmet on his head
Wife and children gleefully clinging to the seat behind
“Where are they rushing, in a manner so blind?
Either they’ll be in heaven or send one up of their kind!”

“Ah, that’s not all,” He said
 “Look now, what do you see?”
“Oh my God! How can this be?” 
A boy jumped from a bus that was running 
Nonchalantly into cars that in chaos were crossing
“Dear God, on the side walk in one piece can he still be?”  

My list grew longer 
And my amazement larger
“Dear God!” said I, “We do things we really shouldn't be
How come there are still so many of us walking the streets on our two feet?
For by now there surely should be more crowd
For St. Peter to regulate through the yonder clouds.”

“Child, because you are you, 
You run and break the rules.
Because I am Me, I watch over thee
When you turn around and say you’re sorry
I balm your bruises and prop you on my knee
Because child, I am Me.”

“Lord, you’ve got one tough job
Guarding the faithful, the faithless, one and all.”
“You too are on my list, my little child
As is each one I made, I am always by your side
To the Pearly Gates you must come one day, one and all
But that will only be on My call
Till then not even a sparrow will fall.”

Copyright © Dennisa Davidson

Details | Prose | |

Golfer Talking Trash

I’m cool, warmed up, loose. I’m gonna crack this ball straight down the fairway 
all the way to the white post, clean and straight. Yeah.

I’m the king of the worm burners, oh, no, I’m the baddest Tiger of these
here woods. Ha ha, not bad, I launched that there rocket clean
into that oak, missed my forehead, missed my partner, never you mind. 
I’m out on the fairway now.  
                                           I’m cool, warmed up, loose. Got my eye on the ball.
King of Zen. Just swing and … yeah. Okay.

I’m King of the beach blanket beee-ing go. Okayyy. No problem. Golf is about practice 
and practice make perfect. Okay, closed my eyes there. 
Splash? Splash it is.

Okay, I’m Chipping King, just smack that ball into that little ole hole. 
God’s be with me. Whew.
I’m the man. Ain’t I the man? Blow me a-way!
It’s all won on the greens guys. Ain’t I the King? Didn’t I just chip right in? Ever see
anything like that before? MMMhmm. You on for five on the next hole?

Copyright © Sheri Fresonke Harper

Details | Free verse | |

- Dear God Good Night -

                           Dear God, please give me a little brother
                                    I want to be a big brother
                              Dear God, tell my father and mother
                        I`m going to be a kind and good big brother
                                Dear God, give me a little brother
                              He can get my three-wheeled bicycle
                                        I`ll teach him to ride
                                   Dear God, you must not forget 
                                      then I will need a new bike
                          Dear God, it must be blue with yellow stripes
                               Dear God, please think about this now
                              My best friend got a new bike yesterday
                       Dear God, this prayer comes from John, five years
                               living in the white house on the corner
                                     Amen and good night Dear God


A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved

- Thank you for my 2nd place in the contest -

Copyright © Anne Lise Andresen

Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

God Help Ye Weary Gentleman, Let Nothing You Dismay

A Partridge perched upon a tree
entices him to throw something!
When songbirds sing and flap their wings  
two turtle doves, cause headache pain.
Those mocking words, thread-worn with wear.
 remind him of the dollars spent.
Defeat caves in, ... the thought of debt!

He bends his head to shield his face,
and steps upon the curb, to brace
against the mob, against the throng,
against long lines in shopping malls 

He watches herds with purses out,
who attack the narrow aisles and park.
Chagrins at purpose, poised, embarked
They're mad! They charge like Joans of Arc!

No one pays him time of day
He feels the sting of frostbit cheer
and leans beneath the canopy
The sales are lit, with half-price tease 
and gaggled geese attack with glee!

Pure instinct guides, their goal is keen
Gifts supreme, they seek and find!
He wonders, as they claim their prize,
if what they buy, and dollars leaked
will gratify their kin, divined?

With weighty burdens in their hands
and dollars spent from sun to sun,
he waits until his wife is done.
This madness took her far away
within the glass enclosed array
of Jingle Bells and money spilled,
of trinkets, socks and Visa bills

His feet are sore, a wrinkled coat, 
unruly hair,...  it glistens now,
With cheeks of red, he steels his breath.
Forefathers did, before their death!

Entrenched in snow beneath his feet,
his stomach growls,  he begs to quit
He watches from the window glass.
A check-out line!!            She's close!!!    ......   At last!!
She's almost done, her purchase won!!

She grins as if she's fetched the best!
The smile she wears, he catches fast 
And makes it worth the weary quest!                               

Copyright © Carrie Richards

Details | Narrative | |

Granny And Your last glass of water

He starts singing songs of Ireland and we are home in a jiffy
"What's a jiffy," my mother wonders
"Guess  where we went Granny?"
"I don't know but I have a feeling you are gonna tell me," answers my grandmother
"And Don't call me Granny!"
"We went to church so Poppy could ask secret questions."
"The priest gave Poppy a shot and a beer and Poppy sent me next store and he gave me money for  taffy."
"He told me not to tell anyone especially you about the priest cause it's only for the priests ears."
"He said God would take away taffy and I'd never get another goodie and God would strike me dead if I told."
"So I can't tell anyone."
"He did," and she starts yelling and grabs a weapon,"what kind of idiot would be scaring a little child?"
Granny is standing on  Poppy's toes and and asking him questions of where he'd been and getting a sniff of his breath
"So what did you tell  the priest and him giving you consolation and a shot and beer."
"That little rat ," and thinks about the money for candy
Later, Granny is chasing Poppy with that big iron frying pan and poppy running and singing
"In Heaven they have no beer, that's why we drink it here."
"You damn fool I'm gonna bust you in the head, "and throws the pan at his head
And later
Cousin Francis has bill collectors come to the house looking for him
Granny was four foot seven  inches and she starts kicking him in the shin
My Mother grabs his Dick Tracy hat and she jumps on it and flattens it
I ask my mom where I was when this happened and she pauses
" You were in Heaven Patrick waiting with your brother!"
The truancy officers bang on the door and want to know where Uncle Charles is
Granny shrugs and says, "He is upstairs and the sound of the window going up sounds
They all run upstairs and see Uncle sliding down the tree and running as fast as his
seven year legs can move
He comes home later that evening holding a goose under his arm
And Poppy has a soft-boiled goose egg for breakfast every morning
I ask Uncle what happened to that goose and He said,"one day he came home  and
they had chicken for dinner."
And Poppy was gone to heaven to get me and my brother ready Mom says
And Granny sits my brother and me on her lap and says,"you two knuckleheads listen up."
"This is very important so don't forget it."
"Treat people the way you want to be treated, because you never know who is going to hand you your last glass of water"

Copyright © Patrick Cornwall

Details | Blank verse | |


ever after
upside down from a rafter

giving my cherished name
to short splintered sticks
that hits long balls
out of sight
both day and night and

did I mention the difficulty that I have 
in going while hanging upside down
God made it so that 
I must move to move
and stand upright


Details | Rhyme | |


If God would take the moon

And make it into a great pie,

The sweet aroma of spice

And green apple would fill the sky.

He’d begin with the careful peeling,

Making the globe shining apple-white.

Then He’d find fixins’ to get it just right.

He would count the servings needed

For the whole world to be satisfied,

And choose just the right flavoring

To set all differences of taste aside,

But with all due respect to the bakers’ pride.

To provide for all the world’s problems,

God gives his secret spiritual answers.

So to the seasoning of the apples,

He adds His nine flavor enhancers.

With perfection, God takes no chances.

There is a pinch of peace, joy, and love,

For that aroma that rises above.

Then there is the patience, gentleness and grace,

So that humankind need not eat in haste.

He wants all to sense the goodness in the taste.

Next faith, modesty and moderation He adds,

And then more love he sprinkles in scads.

Here below our appetites we whet,

Our stomach’s pits to be satisfied.

Thankful for every morsel we get,

Until convinced our Lord is glorified.

Soon one could hardly see a crumb.

But we have no need at all to fear,

For at the end of daylight’s trusty gleam,

The moon again is a shining sphere.

Copyright © Albert Price

Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

Copyright © Dan Keir

Details | Light Poetry | |


Please hire my Hubby! I’m begging you! PLEASE!!!!
He’s now obsessing over his resume’… I’m down on my knees!
Each minute he has… it gets longer! Surely! You DO SEE!
A thousand pages is a bit too much into the details for me…
When HR sees it they’ll be leading the lemmings down the trail!
He calls it detail orientated… In a STRAIGHT face prevailed…
Poor Hubby! My Hubby! What will be his FATE?
Wondrous! AMAZING! He thinks its sooo Great!
But it’s way to long… to seriously contemplate!
Once when handed to HR… It slipped thru their hands… too late!
Didn’t finish the interview… With HR’s broken foot to mend!
When HR hear he’s applying again they close their Doors! Amen!
The newbie is always the one… left to tackle him… in the end!
They once threw his resume’ into the trash, after he walked out the door…
The can fell into pieces… clear across the blooming floor!
To stave off more resumes’ they are now readily equipped!
They ask for an email update… Then hit Delete!
They’ve learned to leave his BOOK on the front desk… for him to see!
Saying they are interested, no less! But… it’s stamped in red ink “OMG”!
As he returns every day, they tell him OMG is for Obviously Mightily Great!
Now! Now! Do you really believe that? Quick HIRE him! I reiterate!
OMG stands for nothing less than… OH! My! God! To you and to me…
Helping with My Son’s School Science Project is WAY too much, to see!
He’s asking how to get technology to rhyme with Lollypop. Over the bend, some?
A newbie asked what he does for fun! DUH! Surely, he can’t be THAT DUMB!
The wife of a genius must never despair, as his ideas expand everywhere… 
He’s funny!… Gee!… I need some more ink! Honestly! I’m running out of ink!
When he heard me say this… All he could do was blink!
COME ON, FOLKS! Give him a job! My laughter is getting EXTREME!
LOL… It won’t be long before I’m popping my clothes at their seams!

Copyright © Carol Eastman

Details | Limerick | |

A Whale of a Tale

When the call of the Lord came to Jonah,
“set out for the great land of Nineveh!”
he was angry inside,
and decided to hide,
on a Tarshish bound ship leaving Joppa.

Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea,
ne’er a more violent storm could there be,
there on destiny’s brink,
the ship threatened to sink,
while, old Jonah, was below deck asleep.

Surely, each sailor’s heart fainted with fear,
as the ship they were unable to steer.
“Wake up, Jonah!”  they cried,
“get thee quickly topside,
and fervently beg your God to draw near!”

Now, Jonah knew that this storm was for him,
as in his heart he remembered his sin,
he thought he was sunk,
when they gave him the dunk,
and had to choose whether to sink or to swim.

As soon as Jonah met up with the ocean,
Both the winds and the waves ceased commotion,
then along came a whale,
and old Jonah grew pale,
as it swallowed him up in one motion!

Three long days in that big fish he stayed,
vowing never again would he stray,
relieved not to be dead,
and with kelp on his head,
onto dry land, our dear Jonah was sprayed!

Please, allow me, now this moral to mention,
that when the Lord God gives thee direction,
you must not delay,
set out right away,
His good judgment you must never question.

Should by chance, you hear God’s voice compelling,
“ head thee out to Bangladesh or New Delhi,”
best get on the right boat,
and pray that it floats,
lest you end up kelp covered and smelly!

Copyright © Shelly Berkeley

Details | Limerick | |

Three Atheistic Limericks

Three Atheist limericks 
	for April Fools' Day 2006

Dear Mrs. Schiavo: Goodbye. 
Dear Mrs. Schiavo:  Goodbye.
Fifteen years was a long time to die.
   Your husband was brave
   To withstand the wave
Of inedible pie in the sky.  

Why San Diegans remove Crosses from public Land

The SD City Council must hold strong:
Those mountaintop Christians are wrong.
   Crucifixion's the sign
   Of insensitive minds
Not the Native Americans' song.

Unrequited Faith

Dear Judeo-Christian God:
Your behavior's exceedingly odd.
   You let Hitler misbehave
   Then killed thousands with waves
And can't keep your priests' hands  off  kids'  bods!

Copyright © Loch David Crane

Details | Limerick | |

The gun and god combo

"The peacemaker" is Glock's new gun
Its spent rounds are rapture and fun
Yes killing's a thrill
Since I'm mentally ill 
And need to own more than just one

A gun for me is like prozac
The bullets clipped pills in a stack
I'm not paranoid
But have weapons deployed
In case I should have an attack

Copyright © Duke Beaufort

Details | Carpe Diem | |

Strenght for the Journey

I asked for strength for the journey
But its in the journey I find the strength
I hear lost souls cry out
These are more than just words that I think
Yeah I'm on the brink of disaster
Lady Luck I'll come by and see you later
But at this time I'm ending the game I only got like ten minutes
But actually I'm running five minutes late
Yeah! its kinda like my life story
Yep, the red foe is crushed now
Sure, I'm just like lightning that is struck down
Like the beginning of wisdom, is to distinguish the differences
I face my fears, I continue in the face of resistance
Because the path of least resistance is what makes both men and rivers crooked
If I have another hearing the judge will throw the book at me
And last night, Oh my GOD why did you forsake me
I got on my knees and prayed for guidance through this darkness
I went back to where it started: and I walked away, took away the threat and became the target
Of course I'm more than just a product of my environment
I'm entirely> Aware that there are 2 kinds of conspiracy
The conspiracy of the government and the conspiracy of the devil
My soul is here just to show you, you must dig deeper inside yourself
I've reached way past the point where it seems hopeless
Every door in Sweetwater is closed to me 
So I close the door to hell and open the door to heaven
It was God who said everything my hand touched would prosper
And my hand has touched this keyboard
And my voice is just screaming out to touch that microphone

    "Get your microphone and make it pretty; Put a skull around it for this city"

Copyright © Timothy Jacks

Details | Clerihew | |

God That Taste Like Rubber

<                                      Mr Thomas Adams
                                        Weaver of the gum  Wham !
                                        Thought his Chicle
                                        Would fit better on my motor ~ cicle

Entry For 
John Freeman's 
Giggle Poetry
G.L. All

Copyright © Katherine Stella

Details | Rhyme | |

Quit My Job, Smashed My Car

Quit my job, smashed my car
My back does throb, need to learn guitar

So I can make, a silly song
And I can sing, it all day long
About how, my God is strong
So that even now, nothing’s wrong

Even though, I quit my job
smashed my car, my back does throb

Life is hard, but I’ve got God
So I won’t let any thought
Any worry or fear
Convince me you’re not near

Even when, I quit my job,
Smashed my car, my back does throb
Life is hard, but I won’t sob
I need to learn guitar

Copyright © Roland Fleming

Details | Verse | |

God hates me

 A day in my life
I thought to help the wife
I got the vacuum out
A little run about
I plugged it in the wall
Odd, no sound at all
It must have blown a fuse
So I undid all the screws
I changed the fuse with new
When they blow that's what you do
Then I plugged the thing back in
Odd, still nothing, no din

I made a cup of tea
The thought occurred to me
Was the fuse that I thought new
A useless dead fuse too
I scratched my head and thought
Has some fluff and stuff got caught
And blocked up all the tube
Which may have blown the fuse

I was in a flux
So I got my toolbox
First I undid this
Then I undid that
And by the time I undid more
I had a pile of scrap

Now I was in a flap
As I tried to build it back
But I knew I lost the plot
Cos the pile was such a lot
When I knew I could not win
I launched it in the bin

So I went round to the store
Cos my vacuum was no more
And invested in one new
Took it home just like you do
But by the time I did unpack
I had another heap of crap
Cardboard and all that
So I burned it round the back

I plugged my new vacuum in
Odd, still no distinctive din
I was most bemused
I thought a new one can't be fused
So I changed the fuse in new
Then thought I will vacuum , like you do

Odd, not a peep
From my new electric sweep
I thought there's something funny here
Something strange and queer
The room was not its norm
It had no bubbly warm
Then I looked at my aquarium
The fish they did not swim
No lights or bubbling glow
That keep them on the go

I switched the light shade on
No light there just was none
Then I tried the chandelier
No lights from that either

I sat down with a grin
It was hard to take it in
I reflected on the day
The one that cost me pay
I had dismantled something good
For no reason that I should
Then threw it in the bin
And then invested in another
When the first one had no bother

I felt so ashamed but I had myself to blame
I thought, Scott you are a nut
Scott you are a smut
Did you not realise
There has been a power cut


Copyright © john scott

Details | Couplet | |


         MEN OF GOD

Kenya is a Godly nation
Check on any TV station
Starts at dawn and goes all day
Teaching people how to pray

Then at night it's shilling serious
With the watchers drunk –delirious-
If you want the chance to pray
First you get the chance to pay

“Men of God,” my colleague swilled--
“Deserve a special God-rate bill.
When I do a job for them
Charge them twenty not just ten.”

 Victoria Anderson-Throop ©
12/01/12  Juja, Kenya  Africa

Copyright © Victoria Anderson-Throop

Details | Limerick | |

"The god head, "Couldn't!"

Pharaoh divine, Amenhotep the fourth,  
Could explain very own Sphinx head of course,
Having anchored in Mars,
His head stares at the stars,
Made only Mars, no divinity source!

They say proof is always in the pudding,
Or to tell you this story I wouldn’t,
One day in precept’s cars,
We’ll drive around on Mars,
Viewing the Sphinx, the god head that couldn't!

For Contest, ”Sphinx Head on Mars
In Honor Of: Carolyn Devonshire

Copyright © john freeman

Details | Narrative | |

Waiting at the car wash

One day I asked God if I could have a cheese sandwich and a cup of coffee.
No problem David, God said, coming right up.
He then organised a miner to get the ore to make the things He needed.
He then organised a farmer to plow the land to grow the wheat to make the bread.
He then organised a farmer to milk the cow to make the butter and the cheese.
He then organised a farmer grow the beans to make the coffee.
He then organised a driver to transport all the items to the kitchen.
He then organised a chef to make the sandwich and the cup of coffee.
He then organised the waiter to serve it up on a tray just for me.
I didn't dare tell Him that I had changed my mind after all that trouble!
Thank You Lord, it was a lovely snack.

While waiting at the car wash.

© Dave Timperley 2012

Copyright © Dave Timperley

Details | Free verse | |

the Sunny Day Blues Man

living for the moment
ended life as we knew it 
but i'm just doing whatever
kind of hoping 
for some entertainment 
along the way

a day in the life 
of the sunny day blues man
hands down 
this is the best i ever was
the best i'll ever be
don't you agree

the sunny day blues man
isn't it funny the way news slants
the return of the sunny day blues man
just be happy with what you choose man
Never a better option than a given hand
thank god for the sunny day blues man

hope isn't a measure 
it's just tested time
a clamp of suspense 
when the moments array
an echo of needs 
to balance out 
the ways things seem
is the best you and I 
will ever be
don't you agree

the sunny day blues man
isn't it funny the way news slants
the return of the sunny day blues man
just be happy with what you choose man
Never a better option than a given hand
thank god for the sunny day blues man

at times life seems to cycles 
signals of distress
vanity and cupcakes 
i know, it's a brute mess
but along with the irony 
comes pancakes 
yes, the madness seems to iron me
yet i am still here

the eyes a thinker
life of a fighter
hands of a lighter weight 
when smiles reflected a pinch of hurting
because in punishment
the sunlight just couldn't outreach the curtains
though we take the steps alike
we trespass the worries to vaguely
but it was times like these that made me 
and it's the best i'll ever be

"the things we accept in steps of courage"

Copyright © Jerry Golden

Details | Couplet | |

I Score a Duck Due to No Luck


Luck is not in my dictionary
So, my life, losses only carry

Of course I make a honest try
But, ignores it God in the Sky

When I well prepare for the exam
Fate changes that day's program

In case I buy my favorite fruit
My joy, all tiny worms loot

If I go to the doctor for consultation
He would have gone out of station

When to tell my deep love I at last plan
She becomes the wife of another man

In the terrace when I put the flour
Suddenly comes a heavy downpour

I bought for my relative honey bottle
With diabetes he is making a battle

I gave generously bread to a beggar
He took it not due to severe sugar

Next day he to me sadly lamented
For his unhappiness, I repented

Superb English poems I finely write
My mother has no English might

When I decide to see today TV
Work in the office will turn heavy

When I aim for promotion in career
Head Office cancels it for that year

When I take the rain coat cautiously
Sun will generate heat mercilessly

In case I take not the rain coat
For severe rain, weather will vote

When I love to become a friend
His hand, none will kindly extend

While hearing a song in the radio
My family will prefer only the video

When I go cheerfully to the theater
Gets then punctured my scooter

God does not like me a bit
He does only the opposite

So I love not to live longer
Then God makes me linger

For five decades this is happening
So my disappointment is deepening.



TYPE mvvenkataraman IN URL

Copyright © mv venkataraman

Details | Couplet | |

God Given Gratitude

God Given Gratitude

Puttered around and to Poetry Soup do go
And see my great number of poems grow
Which were written by me and well-meant
Into state of ecstasy some poets were sent.

Poem appeared smack dab in middle of night
Went back to man cave and turned on light
Started writing freely and porously like I do
After a picture in my mind the poem drew.

Never would have a worry or even any fear
Words profusely on page started to appear
Into sentence after sentence they became;
To not write down would be a big shame.

I did delightfully accept the delinquent dare
To write one more poem beyond compare
Setting such a high standard poets may meet
And with each other could try and compete.  

Finally, my monotonous poem is over and done
And horrors soon will be read by everyone
Why I like each Souper is their great latitude
Would God to my poems give His gratitude?

Tune in tomorrow for my next poem to borrow;
Even with sweet sorrow, Was it by Clarence Darrow?

James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran 


It is my own funeral so I chose 
funeral in the subject section.

Copyright © James Horn

Details | Rhyme | |

True Friendship is a Gift from God

True Friendship is a gift from God

Among the many gifts I have received
Friendship is the best one I perceive
True friends don’t just come in passing
You've got to be one too, to make that happen.

In the world, treasures abound in plenty
What good are they, for in love and care, they seem empty?
When you are down and need an uplifting word
Not to treasures but to friends you look toward.

Sharing deep secrets and feelings which hurt
The merging of the two brings relief and comfort 
In their presence you find cosiness and joy
‘Cause that is a communion true friends enjoy!

In life’s busy paths many folk come your way
Though finding new friends seems like a breath of fresh air
Do not forget the old faithful for the new
God sent them to lend you their ear and shoulder too.

By Mariette Ross
All rights reserved

Copyright © Mariette Ross