Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership

Funny Farewell Poems | Funny Poems About Farewell

These Funny Farewell poems are examples of Funny poems about Farewell. These are the best examples of Funny Farewell poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

If you don't find the poem you want here, try our incredible, super duper, all-knowing, advanced poem search engine.

Details | Alliteration | |

Stink Thinking

Poem by: Mr. Ronald Watson
Sep. 13, 2012
My Poetry on PoetrySoup

Stinking Thinking

Stinking thinking/ it leads to drinking./
What moisten the soul without an inkling?/
Unto making a wild left turn /while the right signal light were blinking./
Within a mild mix of rice, hops, and barley,
Since/ it is too much laugher at a karaoke party./
How Elvis sounds like,/ a broken Bob Marley?/
Now it’s as if,/ inhibitions are lowed/
Frozen in time/ and slipping far out of control./
As intuitions of minds does loathe,/ as such weariness echoes for tomorrow./
Yet,/ a stinking breath that smells just as death/ and it's where all funky asses dwells./
Though/ all hung over /and unjustified to flinging heavy heads into that porcelain king,/ 
Even this is a sight for red sore eyed Kings!/ 
It is an aftermath of ravishing through them royal purple cloth bags./
So/ afraid to admit that shallowness slowly drags!/
When,a sense of clarity which will just admit it.
That stinking thinking is difficult to kick, but
One day at a time, it is the only way to shine, or get fixed.  

Thank youMy Poetry on PoetrySoup
God Bless.


Details | Verse | |

Ding Dong The Wicked Witch is Dead

Globally, miners jubilantly jump for joy
Smiles on the faces of every girl and boy
The grins of a newly opened Xmas toy
Thatcher’s dead.

Trade unionists bounce along the street
Music blaring and the tapping of feet
From nurses to Bobbies still on the beat
Thatcher’s dead.

Street parties announced in the nation
Satan who brought economic inflation
Is deceased, now’s the time for elation
Thatcher’s dead.

Its times like this I’m sad I’m an atheist
And can only shout and wave my fist
And then go to the pub and get pissed
Thatcher’s dead.


Details | Rhyme | |

Happy Question

Today I am going to hop my way to my brother.
To tell him how I feel about not being together.
I thought I could be so kind.
I saw him by the road side and I was blind.
I could just end it all by now.
Today I tried a cow.
It really was hard to do.
Then I hired a semi crew.
I watched carefully, darn he is fast!
My name is Happy ?, I'm Easter's brother who is sad.
He painted eggs that made me jealous and bad.
I hopped one day and he threw an egg at me.
My heart became really cold that memory was key.
I finally thought of it an accident really is going to happen.
Happy Easter is going to be laugh-en.
Good to see you, I said to a mystery man.
I was told not to associate with any human.
It was my last resort.
The man had a sports car a beautiful sort.
I was desperate, now, I'm in a bunny court.


Details | Bio | |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.


Details | Epitaph | |

Silly Epitaph 16

In loving memory of Jones,
The best duck I've known.
My pet and friend since I was four.
For a bird, he was dear;
I wish he was here
So that he and I could do more.


Details | ABC | |

The Vent

im livin in a world, where all eyes on me.
trying to curve my own route.
but route 66 keeps finding its way to me.
ive been plenty sick, in all the events layed before me.
even when i reflect to my lowest points
i dont regret any of the choices
That I’ve deployed in my era
A lot of it by error, but hey
We live in hell conditions and there ain’t no air condition 
Or any guidelines when life throws you in the sidelines
But when hindsight twenty twenty hits
You’ll begin to understand life’s a bunch of equations and you in the mix of it
An you’ll have to think twice, before running into a situation and becoming the best of it
Situations
it’s what got me here, it’s what got us here
Ran with my thoughts blazing up to her place and
Guess what happened next
She opened up heaven’s gate
And just before late I slipped out
Simply put 
I’m a Grown ass man
Doin his thing, waitin to blow up like an old land mine
In doin what he drools over
But time after time 
Something decides to creep up and cover the light
Lost my way
Then I revoked to ever know, I ever thought that way
But in the in between time, that in the mean time 
Spent a lot of time
Gettin pissed off just to medicate and lift off
Don’t need Don Perion to sip off
Already had my way with the bottle
Even thought to get back with the trouble and rejoin the hustle
That’s just what happens to a man who really knows his old ways
Whos tired of making ends meet and ponders getting back to the streets.
Memory sets in and he remembers an O.G. saying
No matter how tall your pockets stand when you ball
Eventually times gonna make you fall
Fall
And I as I pull myself together 
I don’t wanna end up like the twin towers rubble
I mean no offence to nine eleven but at that time I probably could have used a reverend
But all that’s irrelevant now
because i live with a different perspective now

there you go you made it to the end :-) comment if you like, constructive criticism wanted as well.


Details | Ode | |

Ode to an Arborculturalist

Why that no good little birch
I think I alder leaf her
My aspens in the dirt
Don’t you know I’m not that poplar
I damn near choked on a little oak
And though I tried I am not maple 
Now the branches are all broke 
and the limbs are so unstable
 
I could go against the grain
But I’d hate to needle yew  
So I guess I’ll cedar later 
And bough out fir the one that’s true
  
Can’t see the forest for the trees 
Can’t tell just when the root will rot 
You know I think its elm diseased 
And I can do with out the knots 
Well now it’s really got me stumped  
Just when I should have sawed right through it  
And it’s too late to pack my trunk 
Or perhaps I just out grew it
 
I could go against the grain
But I’d hate to needle yew  
So I guess I’ll cedar later 
And bough out fir the one that’s true
 
Some trees grow up in a grove
Others make a stand alone
But there ain’t no peach with out a pit 
And there ain’t no pine with out a cone 

I’m sure the heart wood ain’t no good
So I won’t go out on a limb 
But when a tree is being felled 
I wish that someone would cry timber
I just don’t think that I’ll ever see 
A poem lovely as a tree 
So I won’t Beech and I won’t Pine 
I’ll just remind you one more time 

I could go against the grain
But I’d hate to needle yew  
So I guess I’ll cedar later  
If you were sap then you’d run too


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

The Stranger

The Stranger


I sit beside a handsome guy.
I imagine his breath on my neck.
He is tall.
His brown eyes are nice and,
O he has such gorgeous brown skin,
dark hair and a deep tan.
I want to kiss him on the lips.
I gesture towards him.
He moves a few inches and gets up.
Then leaves….
I realize I don’t know his name.


Details | Free verse | |

Ball of Fire

Today is Doomsday.

Some believe today is Doomsday
Some say maybe the end of the year
However, do we really care?
How would the earth end?
In a ball of fire or 
would it swallow us up into puff of dust
in a matter of an hour..

I rather am buried under pile of snow.
Eternal Preservation "what a nice way to go

However do we have option in a world?
Where lunatics have taken over asylums
where deranged souls spreading like a social cancer 
Is doomsday  the answer..?


Details | Rhyme | |

My Last Nerve

O why O why do you make me mad
take away my help that's all I had
you are not going make me sad
That was my last nerve, That was my last nerve 


There is only so much that I can do
I am only one person and that is true
this is who I am and I'm not you
That was my last nerve, That was my last nerve 

While I don't mind doing what needs to be done
just give me a break to relax and have fun
I'm going to take my time and not being to run
That was my last nerve, That was my last nerve 

You were given many chances to correct your mistake
this is my own choice that I did have to make
all that I needed was a little bit of a break
That was my last nerve, That was my last nerve 

What you are doing to me you know is insane 
so if I decide to leave I don’t want to hear you complain
I never was given any help and that's why 
it is time for me to say goodbye
That was my last nerve, That was my last nerve 
That was my last nerve, That was my last nerve


Details | Free verse | |

Teddy Bear - Strange Love

Teddy Bear - Strange Love 

Our new neighbors have guns and drugs
They call me Teddy
Silly!....my toy is Teddy…. Teddy Bear
They must be crazy
I love my little bear
We’re happy happy happy skipping down the street!
One day the neighbor guy took my teddy
Threw him in the air
Like a taxidermist dream
I screamed, “Teddy can’t fly leave him be!” 
The bad man zeroed in on Teddy 
With an AK-47 in hand
And blew my friend away.
The tiny head flew off
Stuffing everywhere
Daddy!
Oh Daddy come quick!
I think my teddy is sick!


Details | Alexandrine | |

Today The Teacher Farted

Today the teacher farted,
It was an awful smell.
It was just like a rotting egg,
Straight from the depths of Hell!

She tried to keep it secret,
By sitting in a group.
But it was really obvious,
When she said, "Who did that poop?"

She screwed her bright, red face up,
And blamed it all on Claire.
But later when I needed help,
The stench was round her chair!

She avoided my eye contact,
And ticked my work in green.
But she knew that her body smells,
Were foul and quite obscene.

I asked her what that smell was,
She said she'd not a clue.
I hope to God that eggy smell,
Was fart and not a poo!

Today the teacher farted,
My word, what had she ate?
I'll always remember what she did,
And now I'm thirty eight!

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/today-the-teacher-farted#ixzz3KN3X6Ftf 
Family Friend Poems


Details | Free verse | |

pg 13 psycho chick

this chick i met at the store one day trying to sell me a jar or raspberry jam.
She said i looked familar.I said she looked familiar to
Elementary school.Third grade.Mrs brown was are teacher.
This girl always sat alone during lunch and at reccess .
Never had i realized how pretty she was so i asked her out to lunch.
When she said yes then trouble started spewing.
She hasnt stopped cutting her meat and shes putting splenda in her sprite drink.
When she speaks shes telling me all the names of her exs in alphabetical order and how it was always them and never her.I seriously doubt this ecspecially when she askes if id like to have a threesome with her sister.
I dont know how this psycho chick got me on date two.Shes pretty and all but thats all shes got too.
Sex is ackward.She insist her dog be in the room.She laughs hysterically the whole time and sleeps through the rest.
On date three i let her go gently.She said shed never forgive me and that i was by far the worst ex she ever had.I thought thank goodness for that.
On friday she called me and said all was forgiven.I asked her how she got my number?she said your mother gave it to me.By the way her name is smidgen isnt it.
I told her it was over.My temper started rising.
she said she didnt mind as her fifth ex was taking her back.I said good luck with that.
Never saw her again but that psycho chick still talks to my mother who says i should have proposed.I tell my mom if only you knew what that psycho chick put me through.


Details | Rhyme | |

Contempt

My farewell trip to Iraq
Near six years kept my pact

The war’s not done, more work ahead
Two shoes fly right past my head

Here’s your farewell kiss you dog
Your mem’ry maybe these will jog

Think you’re welcome here, instead
Two shoes barely miss my head

To end this war is our mission
Mister journalist for television

The world’s a safer place, I’ve said
As two shoes nearly thump my head

So what, he throws his shoes, but then
I’m glad I ducked those two size tens

If you want to feel the world’s contempt
Just become the President