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Funny Confusion Poems | Funny Poems About Confusion

These Funny Confusion poems are examples of Funny poems about Confusion. These are the best examples of Funny Confusion poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Prose Poetry | |


So I walked into my local supermarket
to buy my weekly shipment of Kit Kat bars,
Cinnamon Toast Crunch,
and Ovaltine powder mix.

As I shake off the snow on my fake Timberland boots,
my skin,
coated in frozen animation,
thaws into warmth’s teardrops from
the supermarket’s 75 degree vents.

This moist sense of happiness was quickly interrupted
when I heard Wilson Phillips, “Hold On”
over the PA system.

Thankfully, the cutlery isle was just to my left. 
So, now, I had plans!

But, before I could commit felony’s song,
I saw her.

A Portuguese goddess
with a strut that can ruin a man’s dignity.

She had Autobahn curves,
dark brown curls of hair & visuals,
and thick flesh meat that even Vegans would envy.

Her face lacked Maybelline coated misapprehension.
Thank God!
Cause I never did like clowns.

After staring longingly at her,
like a crack head with impulsive eyes upon a broken/unlabeled bag of baby powder,
she breezed past my stifled posture and clocked in to work.

She didn’t even get a chance to smell my $500 cologne called “Piece of Me”.

So with new-found urges to grab all my groceries,
like a burglar who really has to pee,
I rush to express checkout. 

There she is.

Her register beeps in coupon lady’s rhapsody,
while my register needs a cleanup on Isle 9.

Now it’s my turn.

With girlish inner-screams of boy-band intensity,
I say, “Hi”.

She scans my apples, while I scan her melons.
The melons that the customer ahead of me didn’t want…
…they were on sale.

Go fig.

As if she read my mind,
she asks,
“Are you feeling warm now?”

“All I want is to be the heat in your moment”,
which I almost said.

But, “Now I am”, is uttered.

As she smiled with seductive demure,
she handed me my receipt
with her phone number on back.

As I left the market,
I began to get cold again.

These winds of change
became gusts of numbness.

I locked myself out of my heart.

I turned around to go back inside.

Only to discover, 
she didn’t have the key.

© Drake J. Eszes

Details | Limerick | |

Sweet and Salty -LIBRA TALE


Sweet and Sour hectic sign
Love me, trust me, the stars align
   Balance of truth and dare
   Good and Evil, full of care 
Blind when it comes to blood line

:) PD

Details | Rhyme | |

The Mad Hatters

Madness, the Hatter blinks. 
Madness, Oz's link. 
Repercussions of concussions.
Madness was Portnoy's complaint**, 

Madness must reciprocate!

Hallucinations filter by....
Leary* winks at Dali's eye.
A house lands on Dorothy's thighs...
Chicken Little wanders by.
"Madness," Hitler's honcho’s sneer. 
Madness splices genes with fear. 
"Lobotomize!" becomes the cheer. 
Kellogg’s* enema's find waiting rears.

"Are you the ass? Or is it me? 
Have I ears and a nose? What do you see?"
"Hehawww," said Pinocchio's friends.
"Heeehaw," said Darwin* back again.

Round and round went Steven Hawkings*.
"Madness," said Lenore's raven* squawking.
"Madness," said Einstein* in a blink. 
"Reciprocate!," said the missing link.

Reference Poem Knock Knock by The Archaic Poet - topic madness

* Art by Salvador Dali
* Portnoy's Complaint by Phillip Roth states
   if you know you are crazy than you must be sane.
* Timothy Leary explored LSD and other hallucinogenic drugs.
* Kellog [of cereal fame] proposed enema's as the cure to 
   all health ills, plus loads of sex!
* Darwin proposed man evolved from apes.
* Edgar Allen Poe was mad when he wrote The Raven.
* Einstein had aspergers syndrome a type of 
* Steven Hawkings is a wheelchair bound scientist who autism. 
   extrapolates on the edge of mathematical reality.

Details | Quatrain | |

Things I Don't Understand

There are things I don't understand
And would really like to know
Such as why they call it rush hour
And you move so freakin' slow

How come you get a learner's permit 
To get a license to drive a car
But they don't give one for a marriage license
Now I think that's going too far

Why do they put deer crossing signs up 
Do you believe there is really any need
In all my years of driving
I've never met a single deer who can read

I was reading a map in the park
And it definitely astonished me so
It had a red X that said you are here
And I was wondering how they know.

Details | Burlesque | |

The Elimination Method

Simple Mathematics, really.
To eliminate one component
To solve a problem quickly.

I’ll form the problem into a manageable state,
By easily eliminating an unwanted variable.
Now, just what variable to eliminate?

First, I will multiply the X by two.
That’s the first step. Done, I feel fine.
I will multiply the Y too.

Now, I add my X plus X.
My Y plus Y.
That was to make sure it checks.

Now here’s the predicament (easy my shoe!)
This is my problem,
And a real head-scratcher too!

The equation adds up nicely
And the X and Y are simplified.
But, how do I eliminate my algebra homework

Details | Rhyme | |

When Sheep Collide

'Tis strange where we should get the notion
That poetry expressed in motion
Should within the human form reside.
When nature gives us many chances
Unpractised and ephemeral dances
Like in a muddy field when sheep collide

Truth is, that nature's not so humble
And doesn't mind the dancer's stumble
There's nothing that it ever seeks to hide
Uncaring it leaves all revealed
And is not shamed if one small field
Has crazy sheep and one long muddy slide

They're mad, they're bad, they're having fun
Those naughty sheep and every one
Is doing what convention has denied
The hillside's muddy, wet and slick
With crazy sheepies sliding quick
Down to the bottom, down where sheep collide.

Many count good nature's fare
The birdsong and the country air
Among the wonders of the countryside
But strange delight can yet be found
In woolly bodies sliding round
A simple muddy field where sheep collide.

While nature guides celestial spheres
In cosmic dances, it appears,
With majesty the earthborn are denied
Down far beneath in mud and grass
A sheep slides on its woolly a***:
A sense of fun, though not a sense of pride.

Details | Rhyme | |

My Fair Maiden

I called upon yonder window That was up to high for me to be For my maiden gracefully sleeps there In her bed,beside the sea I asked her to come hither For her beautiful face I yearned to see Twas yawning in the morning dew As she slowly came to the window for me To my amazement came forth a ragged wench Whos hair was as raged as the sea With eyes that were burnt as nightposts To bloodshot and squinty to even see For this was not my fair maiden? Whos beauty would forever be But a drunken harlot who came hither That she spent the night with instead of me My heart now broken to pieces Wondering how could this tragedy be? For my maiden now sleeps with a harlot? Without the love that she once gave to me? My mind was now enraged So I dashed for the wrestling sea With thoughts of drowning this useless body That's no longer good enough for my maiden to see With water just over waist height And a large wave about to crash over me I heard a calling from yonder window Twas my beautiful maiden as I turned to see Her beautiful eyes in such distress Her beautiful hair flowing so care free Twas the beauty of my fair maiden That I had called upon yonder window to see For the thoughts that raced through my mind Evidently,weren't truely what happend to be For it was her promiscuous sister Who had come from the other side of the sea My heart now rebuilt with a sigh of love A large wave suddenly crashes over me The last thing I saw was my fair maiden As my lifeless body is carried out by the sea

Details | Rhyme | |

Never Dream Within a Dream

-honestly...I have no clue why...- As I began to rest in my fickle dream Suddenly I was stirred from my sleep I was greeted by many a whisker And petulant snores from my sister The cat mewed ferociously and purred For there on the other side of the window—was a bird! It chirped like a wobbly siren—the ass! And I swear by my bosom it was pecking the glass Suddenly, I sprang up in alarm I swear my bosom was gone! The cat then motioned at the feathered brat For her bright breasts seemed extra fat Of course it wouldn’t have been that But I couldn’t just blame the cat! I opened the window only a crack And asked very kindly, “May I have my breasts back?” Such pride she attained from my bosom Yet why? –how would she use ‘em!? The mockingbird merely turned a goodbye But the stolen twins were too heavy to fly! She plopped to the ground and squawked I would have laughed, but I was shocked! The cat scratched at the window and with her eyes Said, “Prithee, take your breasts—she’s mine!” Before I could think I had fallen to the ground To a booming, most terrible sound! My eyes then opened to a cat on my head As the booming sound continued from my sister’s bed

Details | Rhyme | |


Now here's a contest that seems pointless
But, up to a point, I guess it will do.
The points in my life have sometimes been fruitless,
I just thought I would point that out to you.

Oh, the point of this rhyme
May be pointed one way,
But it is at this point in time
To score points by what I say.

The point that I am making,
Is that there is always some point
That life points in a way forsaking,
Giving your point a grave disjoint.

I have pointed out many times
that points are good and bad.
But the good points I remember better
Rather than the bad points I have had.

You can sometimes see how pointless it is
To try to point these things out.
As for the point I am making,
You get the doubt!

Details | Verse | |

Enigma's Calling

Extraordinary, I am 
Craving for unusual thoughts
Endless exploration without boundary
Understanding  the gift I shouldn't fought
Invisible drawings in my mind
Playing with the words in my head
My passion
The food of my soul
I feel so lucky
The random thoughts
A lifetime companion
A self esteem builder
A goal planner
Be my forever life saver
I write more
I talk less
I want to please
I chose to bore
What tickles me the most
Is to know what I'm for
Thinking is my love
When  my mind goes empty
That's when I hate
My day dreaming lust
Organizing things in my mind
Playing roles of simulation
Where images of art is my vision
And words of attitude is my heart

Details | I do not know? | |

Mistaken For A Senior Citizen!

Ok, I normally keep my cool.
I rarely get THAT mad.
I wanted to knock her teeth out! 
Oh yes, it was that bad! 

I was innocently shopping.
Going about my day.
I was finished with the browsing 
so I headed up to pay.

This nasty, mid-aged woman
looked me in the eye
and what she said made my mouth drop
and made me want to cry! 

She asked if I ''get the discount''.
Of course I said ''I don't know, 
how do you get this discount? ''
and then she said...''Oh, no.''

''Forget it, I'm sure you don't.''
I knew what she meant then...
this woman was asking me
if I was a... SENIOR CITIZEN! ! 

It takes alot to get me mad
and I never ever swear
but, let's just say I bit my tongue
as I left that day from there! 

I told her she just ruined
what had been a decent day.
She gave a smirk and brushed me off
with little more to say.

Perhaps I don't look twenty...
this I will admit.
But, she was at least 60 
and looked every day of it.

How rude to ask a woman
when she's only 34
if she's a senior citizen! 
I won't shop there anymore! !

Details | Rhyme | |

Dr Seuss Paranoia

Did you ever have the feeling there's a man in your can? Or a ball down the hall with an eye to spy? Sometimes I'm sure I have ants on a tour of my house without cure. And sometimes I know there's a pup in my cup, yelling "Hey, what's up!" And that white ram in the door jam well, he's on the lam. That's the kind of paranoia I live with each day. I admit I'm delusional in a big way! Some visitors are quite friendly like the girl with a curl under my bed with Earle. But Bower in the shower, well he sings for hours! And the lady named Sadie why she is quite shady! I like Randy. He always has candy. But the man looking at me in the TV, him I wish I couldn't see. All the brunettes in the cabinets, they love to dance about. But that meanie named Bellini, him I could do without! The cat in my hat I don't like at all. And I get quite nervous when Saul runs down the hall. The bears on the stairs taunt me without a sound. And so do the others who like to hang around. Like Bert, and Mert, and Kurt, and Gert who live inside my shirt. I don't care if you don't believe it, find me my straitjacket. I'll never leave it! *Based on the book, There's a Wocket in My Pocket for Dr. Seuss Theme and Form contest (Joann Grisetti) Seventh Place

Details | Quatrain | |


Why is it poetry, is a like dirty word and talked of in undertones?
It’s like a naughty postcard, more flesh than there are bones.
Poets tend to deny their art, “I’m not a poet, I’m a rhym-er”
Come on you lot get stuck in don’t be a poetry two-timer.

After a glass of alcohol some may admit-“I like a little verse”
“But no I m not into poetry…” It’s like a speech they did rehearse.
Now poems I’m getting good at, but famous poets I don’t know any
Don’t ask me if I’m a poet, because in wages I don’t earn a penny.

Now rhyme I am not bad at, but at free verse I would stink
As for haiku, senryu, and other forms, I stink I really think…
I listened to some so called poets; decry their art the other day
They denied their art while they listened, to what each other had to say.

Standing there with their poems held high, “I’m not a poet” they all said
Well get down from the microphone and let’s hear a poet instead…
They pass their poems around the table, like some black market currency
Not wanting anyone to see it, but they are at a reading for poetry.

So be loud and proud you poets stand firm for what you believe in
Tell them you are a poet, and just get used to all the teasing
I used to be a shy poet and I write verse with some frivolity
But the definition in my dictionary says “words with a pleasing quality.”

So now I am open to judgement from all of you wonderful poets
You have all commented on my work, but do you really know it?
You all have qualities that scare me, you really seem so clever
So can I finally admit to being a poet, from now on  and forever?	
~GG~ 27/09/2012

Details | Ballad | |

Across the Way - The Sequel

Another day and the dishes have piled up yet again
So back I end up in front of the window 
I do not glance up, but concentrate
On the dull, dirtied objects before me
I do not hear the voices from yesterday
I still wallow in the grime of gray
I smile in malcontent
As I lather the dishes with soap
Against my will, I look up 
To see a lone, fat man opening a refrigerator
He is shirtless, bulgy, and he looks pregnant
My first supposition is to laugh
But I only look back down at the dishes
Not wanting to stare at the fat man
Not wanting to think he looks pregnant
For sure not wanting him to be my neighbor
Across the way

Against my will again, I look up
The fat, pregnant man is gone
I see ornaments on the refrigerator
Some pictures, some magnets
Family; not so different from my life
But yet, there is a transparent fancy of mystery
A flashy rage of difference in the silence
Oh, so quiet
The blazing sun sprays its light upon the hour
Not only are my hands wet from the soapy water
The deafening tone of quietude
Revels in me a mixture of loneliness and physical heat
A burning desire for something not seen
A desire for utter disgust of my newly found neighbors
But I find myself not disgusted at all
Until I look up again and see a fully naked man at the window
Across the way

Details | Rhyme | |

Shameful Morning

not sure how she got here 
only know she needs to leave

underneath the stranger 
my arm numb; asleep, 
mouth a desert.
a hundred dead cigarettes dance my tongue dry 

princess of night 
exposed by light. 
get me out of this;
another dreaded morning mess. 

bed broken
along with my will. 
I swore never again; 
the lie is half the thrill.


Details | I do not know? | |

Kristin Listen!

Hello my friend,
Hope all is well
This is your bud,
'Ol tom bell
You might wish
To read this poem
"Bad Day at the Eyedoctors"
A true tom tale
And shows what a fool I be
So check it out,
And you'll see!

Details | Free verse | |

A Winter Walk

I needed some time, some space to think
And it was either take a walk or drink
And since I knew drinking would solve nothing
I put on my shoes and I started walking

The wind blew the chilly air
Through my unkempt locks of hair,
But I hardly felt the biting cold,
Walking with memories warm in my soul

The street was dark, cold and silent
It was funny the places where my mind went
While I slowly walked across the blacktop road
No destination in mind where I would go

It's funny the things you will remember
I recall a day in mid-December
And how suddenly, nothing seemed the same
After that man at the door called my name

I followed him into a secluded office
Where he would tell me his diagnosis
And suddenly I felt my beating heart
But the rest of the world had just stopped

I felt a hand in mine get tighter
I don't think the room could have been quieter
I shook my head in total disbelief
Too numb to feel anything, even grief

The question asked, "What does this mean?"
But the answer didn't mean anything
My head too fuzzy, my thoughts too jumbled
I turned to my love to speak, but mumbled

I don't remember what else he said
Because of the swirling thoughts in my head
It took three days before I could even think
Which led me to tonight: walk or drink

So I walked and I thought and I truly remembered
Dreams of the past, love treasured forever
Friendship and laughter, sorrow and pain
As though I was reliving my life over again

Little things that I'd sorely taken for granted
Things that didn't happen the way that I planned it
Promises made and ones that were broken
Love that was shared, love still unspoken

The frosty air filled me with a sense of renewal
Inside my soul was fighting a duel
The angel, the devil, both battling demons
Inside of myself I fought to redeem them

I don't know who won the ethereal battle
And I'm not sure right now it even matters
Where once I believed everything for a reason
I'm finding that harder and harder to believe in

Details | Rhyme | |


Seeing you all glistening wet
 from your nice, long hot shower, 
Makes things tight in my lower stomach
 and frustrated that you have that power.

One minute, I can be mad.
 The next second see you dripping wet.
You did this on purpose so I'd no longer
 be irritated and to make me forget.

Eye candy is what you are, 
 you know it works every time.
Seeing you all sexy and clean
 and knowing you are mine.

Unfair advantage is what you play.
 But I'm no longer mad at you.
It's the quickest way to calm me down, 
 and it's something you always knew.

Have no fear your time will come, 
 And turnabout is fair play.
I'll save my wrath for you
 and use it another day.

You look too sexy for me 
 to stay mad at you for long.
Lucky for you, a naked, sexy 
 wet man makes me less strong.

Details | Free verse | |


Fat egg    you're a mess!
I can't believe the scramble where you fell
There's slime    dirt    and yellow on your shell
Impossible, I must confess

With all the king's horses
           all the king's men
                and the ovaries of a hen
It seems quite ridiculous
      a job so meticulous

Details | I do not know? | |

No Choice!

I hate it when I'm
       told to do
This damn thing
       or that.

And I hate it
When I don't do it
And am made to
      feel a rat!

So what is it that
      I hate much more
To do or not to do?

The former is within myself
      The latter within me, too!

Details | Blank verse | |

Love Song

Here’s what I’m thinking now 
at the end of the world: 

There are no atheists in foxholes— 
no theists in politics. 
If knowledge is power, 
and power corrupts, 
then why did I bother reading you, Cicero? 

Does it matter that I didn't’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

There’s a poetry reading tonight 
whence I’I'll chide other poets 
who don’t sit alone. 
I won’t bring up death 
but I might have to breathe, 
even into a mike 
and mouth lines to get a snap or a boo 
maybe even a wince or two. 

Just maybe I’I'll talk about love 
and how following your heart is like following a dog— 
it only leads to vittles and (female dogs). 
But how many times have I used that line 
since the story I wrote about you, 
a witty and sexy and fictional you? 
Most likely I’I'll read something tonight about you. 

I won’t recite it from memory 
because I don’t think about you that much anymore, 
not even when I search for my socks in your drawer 
or when I put on the scratchy sweaters you give me, 
horizontally striped to bring out my eyes? 

I don’t remember your eyes 
except they are blue. 
And I don’t remember you, 
not even when I smell cucumber and apple, 
not even when I sleep on my side of the bed 
or when you walk through the door 
happy to see me; 
even then I don’t remember you. 
Does it matter that I don’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

How about a few one-liners 
for the end of days?— 

Depression is self-awareness, 
which you’d know if you were; 
I need Ritalin to listen to you, 
Lithium to hug you, 
Viagra to feel you, 
and Valium to sleep. 

All you need 
is me standing there, waiting at home 
with turns of phrase and word plays 
telling you about why I hate Ayn Rand 
but want to buy as much as I can 
and how I love celebrity gossip 
and detest poetry slams 
and find rhyming trite 
except when I am. 

Hypocrites can still be right, 
which you do understand 
because you nod at my nonsense 
about fighting the man. 

But now, at the end of all things— 
I’m speechless and witless and pointlessly well-read, 
and you’re just sitting there, smiling 
asking me to pass the bread.

Details | Rhyme | |

Text and Facebook Speak

I received a joke text yesterday, on to it was attached
L.M.A.O. and my head I sat and scratched
I thought why do you Like My Aunties Osteopath
I was just about to find what would raise my wrath

Then another on said L.O.L I am confused I must confess
I could not understand why you Love Oldies Less
Then Facebook I was browsing and there upon the screen
More letters of obscurity that would make me less serene

The letters T.T.F.N.  my mind began to derail
Why would anyone be interested that you Trapped The Finger Nail
Then I noticed C.B.A. and by it I was floored
Could this be what I’m waiting for a Cadbury Bar Award

So I no understandy text or Facebook speak
So I write the verse in a state of heightened pique
Leave me an old codger a message I can read
Though I think it is beyond you, because it’s done for speed

So now I have a message, for the young who have bought out
This very shortened writing version, that makes me scream and shout
Write It Simply Easy for those of us so old
Remember W.I.S.E. comes with age which soon you will behold

Details | Bio | |

Big City, Big Shot Fool (Me)

A true story.

Here I was,
23 or 24...
Classed an "Executive"
NYC Dept Store Chain,
"Executive" label meant
I could work overtime
For one half of my normal salary...
But a fool sees stars
Where he should see crime

Promoted "Furniture Buyer"....
Big Ticket spot....
They seemed out to prove
Smart I was not.

Big Furniture Market,
High Point, N.C.,
Invited out to dinner,
By big shot vendor....
Oh...whoop, whoop, yea!

Of course, my stuffy boss
was there,
In the next chair
At this odd restaurant...
"The Factory" it's name,
After that night,
I was never looked at the same....

Big shot, Big City....
Big Fool....
It wasn't pretty....

The menu did start
Entrees priced more
Than my annual salary
And I'm confused
There's a boiler next to me!

So this Big City Buyer,
In his $99.00 suit
Ordered a shrimp cocktail,
Oh, what a hoot!

Lights flashing....
Like Studio 54
I had no idea
What I was in for!

Got my shrimp cocktail,
Oh, I do love my shrimp!
But the lemon wedge,
Was wrapped up
My mind now a' crimp

In this decorative yellow stuff,
All fit with a bow....
How do I open it, I wondered...
I wanted to know...

But I'm a Big Shot NYC Buyer,
Sure, I've seen it all....
How dare these dumb hicks...
Have such a gall!!

I took my fork,
I took my knike....
I started trying to open
This thing like....
It meant my very life!

I was struggling,
And sweating,
And frustrated and mad
Got some of the weirdest looks
I ever have had...

These Carolina Hicks...
Out to make a fool of me...
Slowly I realized
Everyone looking at me...

My boss's eyes swollen
In shame
How dumb his young buyer
Should be in a cornfield
And call himself "Town Crier"

Eventually I learned....
This stuff was called
Ridiculous I thought...
No cheddar or swiss
Like this had I ever bought...

In silence I remained
Through the rest of my meal....
To me the biggest embarrassment
To me the biggest deal....

Big City Hot Shot Buyer...
Dumb as a farm hand.....
Put in a Manhattan restaurant...
Without but a strand....
Of what was, what wasn't
Of how, and of why...
All I wanted to do
Is to crawl under a rock
And die!

(This is true!!!)

Details | Burlesque | |

Is It Just Me?

I wonder if I'm crazy,
It seems as though I am
I'm puzzled by so many things
Like what makes grape jelly
different from grape jam?

Or how anyone could have such low self-esteem,
To let their dumb commercials run
Are we to follow the dinosaurs?
And disappear beneath the sun?

Or how I could be so brain-dead
To find in my refrig,
Some food from the time
of the reign of Ramses,
How could I be so dumb?
The very thought, it scares me,
Makes my mind go numb.

Everything I buy or own,
I seem to lose real quick,
Is there a brain tumor inside me?
Or am I just mentally sick?
Too caught up in great thoughts?
Or just too gosh darn thick?

Sometimes I I find I wander
Into a room, and can't remember why
Is this for people normal?
Or did my brain just fry?

I guess there's no good reason,
To worry about things like this,
Sometimes your brain's on target
Sometimes it just can't help but miss.

Details | Rhyme | |

Do I or Don't I

Give me something smart to say
Or maybe something dumb
What should I do, Should I stay?
Or should I go, ho hum?

Nothing seems to come together
Nothing seems to flow
Should I brush my teeth right now?
Or watch the Oprah show?

Why are some days really nutty
And others just plain boring
Today I'm going to flip a coin
If it's tail, I'm going bowling.

Details | I do not know? | |


I sometimes sit and ponder,
What is over yonder.
When I get to yonder,
I sometimes sit and ponder,
As to what is over yonder.
When I get to yonder,
I sometimes sit and ponder
As to what is over yonder___

Details | Burlesque | |

Sleep Remedy

I've told you how desperate
I am for sleep,
And I got a suggestion
It made me leap
Simplicity itself ; earslugs!

So I went out on a slug hunt,
Without realizing what a stunt,
It takes to be a successful slug-hunter
I found one at last,
Picked it up and so fast,
It oozed through my yucky fingers

More prepared the next chance,
I scooped it up on paper
And watched it's giggly dance,
Dumped it in a glass jar,
And didn't have to go far.
To find my next ear-slug...

Dumped it in as well,
But now I couldn't tell,
What seperated one from the other...
Oh, darn, who cares,
I'll cut this big mess into pairs,
Of suitably sized ear slugs

Home at last,
Poured them out of the glass,
And promptly cut them in 2,
Inserted one in each ear,
I could no longer hear,

But somehow lost my sense of balance,
Crawled to my bed, oh sure,
But I could not long endure
This swishing sound in my ears,
And jelly-like stinking mess
That oozed onto my chest,
And stained my sheets something fearful...

My ears oozed slime for 6 weeks,
And that forbade sleep one seeks,
And the stench of rotting slugs was horrific,
So next time someone suggests ear slugs,
Tell them no thank you please,
Cause I've heard the story of Tom Terrific.

Details | ABC | |

Errata Poem

"A person's tongue is a twisty thing, 
     there are plenty of words there of every kind, 
         and the range of words is wide, and their variation." 
               -- HOMER, The Iliad

When I say ice cream read I scream
When I say phonology read phone allergy
When I say insinuate read in sin you ate
When I say four candles read fork handles

When I say mint spy read mince pie
When I say greénhouse read green hoúse
When I say bláckboard read black boárd
When I say mesher read measure

When I say Alpine read alpine
When I say vowels read dishtowels
When I say Homophone read home on phone
When I say Polish read polish

When I say sonorant son of ant
When I say i.c.u. read I see you
When I say Lent read lent
When I say Turkey read turkey

When I say euthanasia read youth in Asia
When I say depreciate read deprecate
When I say farther read further
When I say collision read collusion

When I say endocentric read exocentric
When I say pharynx read larynx
When I say thought read though
When I say phonemic read phonetic

When I say weather read whether
When I say China read china
When I say call on phones read allophones
When I say stuffy nose read stuff he knows

© Joseph, 10/4/08
© All Rights Reserved

Comments:  The Errata poem is based on mistake in speech or speaking, a Freudian slip,
mispronounced words, homophonic pronunciation, etc. Paul Muldoon from Ireland, and 
Charles Simic from Yugoslavia wrote Errata poems based on this definition.  The Errata poem 
is a Linguists paradise.


Joseph S. Spence, Sr., is the author of "The Awakened One Poetics" (2009), which is 
published in seven different languages. He invented the Epulaeryu poetry form, which 
focuses on succulent cuisines and drinks. He is published in various forums, including the 
World Haiku Association; Poetinis Druskininku, Milwaukee Area College, Phoenix Magazine; 
Möbius Poetry, and Taj Mahal Review to name a few. Joseph is a Goodwill Ambassador for 
the state of Arkansas, USA, a college faculty, and a military veteran.


Details | Free verse | |

Bladder Problems in Class

Numbers on 
White board…names written hori-

Students ask
To go pee…right when class starts – 
THAT’S just wrong…

Bathroom line
Of students who have bladder
Problems – WOW!

People are
Not using lunchtime to do 
Their business 

No one knows
When to do their duties – SER-

Details | Sonnet | |

Gambling Shuggy—The Encounter!

"If I feel physically,
            as if the top of my head been taken off, 
                     I know it's poetry."
                       --Emily Dickenson


No money no honey from this honey
You may look but won’t rub this fine tummy;
That maybe so, but I ain’t no dummy
Shining like gold—don’t you touch this Emmy!

Pay gone, drunk, smoky, come acting thuggy,
Don’t treat me like an Egyptian mummy;
You have nerves to tell me I look yummy
Step back—know that I will not be chummy!

Say what, you will find another bunny?
Git, to your saloon playing gin rummy;
Tonight I’m keeping safe my sweet plumy
Leave—before I pull my New York Jimmy!

Swiftly, before doorknob hit your bunny,
Shuggy—I ain’t got time tonight bummy!

© Joseph, November 28, 2008
© All Rights Reserved

Poetry Soup International Poetry Contest
Semi-finalist Selection, Jan. 2009.
Poetry Soup Weekly Featured Poem 
Sunday, May 24, 2009, to May 31, 2009

Joseph S. Spence, Sr., is the author of "The Awakened One Poetics" (2009), which is 
published in seven different languages. He invented the Epulaeryu poetry form, which 
focuses on succulent cuisines and drinks. He is published in various forums, including the 
World Haiku Association; Poetinis Druskininku, Milwaukee Area College, Phoenix Magazine; 
Möbius Poetry, and Taj Mahal Review to name a few. Joseph is a Goodwill Ambassador for 
the state of Arkansas, USA, a college faculty, and a military veteran.


Details | Burlesque | |

Redneck FATHER'S DAY------


"Storm over yet...?"

"Well hay'ell ye'ah! 
 sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
 whadda'bou  that boy th'er?
 sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"

"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"

"Wha'choo sayin? 
 na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
 'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm! 
 torna'durr warnin' too!
 he gonna have him'a cole burr;  
 on me!"
 my treat!
 mama, git him'a cole burr! 
 ro'tt now; 
 ta'days father's day!" 

© 2011  ~JSLambert Esquire


Details | Rhyme | |

Four frogs on a log

Four Frogs On A Log.

Four frogs were lazing in the sun
When a log came floating by.
So the frogs all scrambled on to it
With happy little cries.
Not one of them had sailed before
And it was so much fun
But then it was, the big debate begun.

One frog said "Ain't that something
This log is so alive.
It moves along so easily
Now don't you think, you guys?".
"It's not the log that moves you twerp!!"
Said another thinking frog.
It be the river moving, not the log!!

"Oh no, no ,no" a third frog said
The both of you be wrong
It's not the log, the river neither 
It's your mind that moves along.
The moving be your thinking
Without it nothing be.
And those three did get to arguing
And never did agree.

The fourth frog said "you all be right
Not one of you be wrong.
The log it moves, the river moves
And the mind moves it along".
At that the other three got mad
For each did yearn to win.
So they grabbed that wise old frog and threw him in.

Socrares Feb 16 2004

Details | Senryu | |

Virginia—Set Mothman Free!

Mothman ate your clothes?
No way; too big for dressers
—mus’be his baby cuz!

Details | Rhyme | |

Sister, Sister

Mother Superior faced a daunting task,
Like no other in her forty years.
She had prayed it simply wasn’t so,
That Godly intervention might belie her fears.

But sadly, there was no such intervention,
No relief from the duty she did rue.
Despite her hopes and all her prayers,
It had been confirmed.  What she feared was true.

So, she gathered all the Sisters after Vespers.
The impromptu meeting caused quite a stir.
There was murmuring as they filed into the chapel.
She hesitated for a moment... but no, she was sure.

“Sisters, I asked you all here to share some news.
It’s something I never thought I’d have to say.
We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.”
Mary Catherine, a Sister for sixty years, said, 
“Oh, thank God.  I’m so tired of Chardonnay.” 

Details | Free verse | |

My Boredom Disease

Like sick allergies, 
Boredom can be passed around

Like a horrid storm,
Boredom can catch you off guard
Hold on for DEAR LIFE!

Like the whooping cough,
Boredom can be serious
If I were you, I’d
Get a vaccination ! 

Details | Burlesque | |

The Impatient Patient

Today's true tom tale;

Today was Dr. day at the clinic
I ended up the day quite a cynic
I'd been awake three days,
With a toothache and pain that slays
My jagged teeth cutting up my tongue
And the promise of help to which I clung
For no more of this pain could I endure,
I desperately did seek some kind of cure

Appointment at 2:15- told the taxi 1:30
I knew the fib was a tad dirty...
"Hedge the bet" one might say,
Sad to think one must be that way,
Of course in this case he showed up at 1PM
And I was in the waiting room at 1:15
Fastest response I'd ever seen.

So I sat in the waiting room as
Clerical shifts came and went
My patience seemed nearly spent

At last I was escorted to an examining room,
To sit and ponder my future doom...
For over an hour I sat there,
Reading all the posters on the wall,
About various diseases,
Soon I had them all!
Cervical cancer,
Malignant volvulus,
Infected ovaries,
Fibroid tumors in my uterus,
A glumaceous gluteus,
Obstructed bowels,
Deviated septum
Anemia, edemia
Enlarged prostate,
Shrunken prostate
Eczema, Lupus
All these for me!

I hoped he didn't keep me 
waiting too much longer,
Surely I wasn't getting stronger....
I'd be dead in ten more afflictions
If he could not cure all these conditions.

I felt my life force start to fade
Look at what these posters made!
Surely life was slipping away,
I couldn't stand,
I began to sway.

In he finally came,
Suddenly I did not feel
the same,
I might survive the day after all,
My approaching death grew
rather small.

Next time, bring a book,
For in terms of time,
It hardly took,
Much time to catch
All these ills,
Or at least come in,
With made out wills.

Details | Light Poetry | |

Clueless Job Applicant

You’ll never guess whom the cat drug in; have a day where you just couldn’t win?
He came strutting in, smacking his gum loud, dressed to the nines Goth Punk style.
Tats trailed down his left arm, with my notice, he said, saving up for the other arm.
When ask about drugs, his answer to me was: “Yes, I’ll share” most invitingly…

Metal adornments on ears, nose, and lips, didn’t want to know, the all of it, at this.
As I noticed, he smiled most cattily, asking: ‘Want to see where else they might be?’ 
Hair a Mohawk with a trail down his back, colors of the rainbow, left nothing to lack.
Steel studs on a black leather butt, said, ‘Bite Me!’ with each and every staged strut.

What are you kidding?… Do my eyes me deceive, or did he just make a pass, at ME?
No Way! I’d rather drop kick him from my office fast, didn't he have any real class?
The application, a Sales Manager Job. Who would try to send me over the deep end?
Bet it had been a practical joke, beginning to end, so I simply held on, my friend.

He must've read my face, forhe smirked, I continued to ask for his list of experience.
His experience was none, but he said he managed his I-tune collection, very well.
Of course, he was the Leader of his ‘Chat Room’. I wondered, ‘Who could tell?’ GEE!
Also an impressive set up on his Facebook page, for his innumerable video games.

I ask how he was qualified for ANY job? Said, Dad ‘THE CEO’ wanted him employed.
I verified this with a call, was told not to be too Harsh, he had Potential, after all...
Ask what job he wanted to give his son? ‘Let him chose himself’, came the real clue!
Ask him, what job he really wanted to do, ‘VP in charge of Recreation’ was imbued.

Said he'd check out all the great places, in his Dad’s fancy Porche. Honestly True!
I kid you not! And he wanted his girlfriend, made into his secretary, Yah! No Doubt!
Believe it or not, he got all he thought he was due. All approved by the CEO’s! True!
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any better… I began to really reconsider…

Really, who had been clueless… It hadn’t been him!… Which left me in a dither…
Knowing I just couldn’t win!  I’d be glad when this day was finally, truly, done… 
The kid had probably thought this a great joke on me from beginning to the end!
My perfect job, had just come undone! Apparently, being in HR isn’t always fun! 

My college degree, that took so much sacrifice, no longer sparkled, so much to me.
Boy did I now WISH, I was a CEO’s SON! As I simply got all the paper work done. 
Later, I saw the family portrait on the CEO’s desk. Lucky me! One down!… 
Only eight more to go!

Carol Eastman and Hubby

Details | Free verse | |


I will start with using my hand as a guide
And in the end I will open my eyes that I will decide

I consider to do this with one thing in mind
I will close my eyes and will imagine it blind
With no colors or fractionation of the light
Just plain me and a vision with my hand as my sight

My hair is very coarse and some what fine
What I just described is so benign  
I twirl my hair and make it bend 
And I will say its very clean not oily on the ends

As I press on my forehead I simply feel a distinct part
I notice from hair to skin it is very different from the start
The simple partings from hair not like skin
I am going to feel with my other hand and begin

The smoothness of my skin like years of water eroding a rough rock surface smooth
Not just that my skin is like home to years of stories like scars and attitude
And when I raise my eyebrows the wrinkles it makes is more so for expression
I did not notice it with certain ideas, thoughts, and emotions

I run my hands down to my eyelids I feel movement of my eyes trying to peek
Eyelids that I have, vibrates with some kind of fear, Why?, that I will seek
Just now as I thought about it a sensation ran through my brain
My eyes is the world to me and that is true and not insane

Myself portrait of me is through my touch for now
But to finish it I will have to open my eyes soon and how
I been in a trance full of so many ideas just with my eyes closed
I run my hand on my nose and lips and I smile who could apposed

The feelings in the tip of my fingers rub on my chin and jaw with care
I do notice roughness of unshaved velcro gripping hair 
I skip my ears so I will sneak a feel with my fingers I chose
I notice it is like my nose with cartilage, so I don't suppose

I will now open my eyes that I will use a mirror to see myself
My head is oval shape and my neck is like a stump, please help
My skin is very tan and my eyes are brown with my eyes I see
With all the description with my hands, one sure thing is the same and key

It is the description of measurements that is what my hands and eyes can see me
With a smile I am looking into the mirror and I can describe that I am happy
Myself portrait of me is such a way to get to know myself once more
I will never think it was a waste of time or a bore

Details | Couplet | |

A Pony From Mars


It came from the sky, a gray silver stallion.
I looked up high, and I also had seen a dragon.

With so many things in this universe.
I'm on 24/7 alert with a camera in my purse. 

Who would have known I'd be the first to spot a PEGASUS.
The town folks wave hi every time I walk my hippopotamus.

I enjoy showing everyone pictures of a flying horse.
I don't understand why they call a DOCTOR every time I call the TASK FORCE.

I think they are jealous over all the things I've seen.
Ever since I sighted a LEPRECHAUN when I turned fourteen.

No one ever believed me when I saw an army of dragonflies.
They had a name for me "the who See's too much in the skies!"

I don't know why they can't see what I see.
For all I know they don't even believe me.

If you don't believe me then explain how I got this magic MEDALLION.
It was a gift from the silver stallion.

I also have many pictures of a  UNICORN.
Who gave me a piece of its magic horn.

We sat together while UNI" drank from the lake.
We enjoyed talking, --talking about how U.F.O.'s are fake.

Why can't they see?  I fell off a boat and got rescued by a MERMAID!
Who would have known a mermaid swim around with first-aid.

I also remember the day I followed a LEPRECHAUNS.
We were playing under the rainbow having fun.

When I told my doctor about all the things I've seen.
He locked me in a DUNGEON, thinking I was an ALIEN QUEEN.

I begged and I told him I don't believe in any type of alien.
Too bad the master of this dungeon came from another region.

In a way he looks like that one SILVER STALLION from Mars.
The first sighting I'd seen the day I fell from the monkey bars.

I have this picture of this horse of course.
JUST help me out of this white-jacket!!! ;-)
If you want to see the coolest picture of a flying horse. 

Mother & Son

Details | Rhyme | |


Their are certain words being said, that many people neglect to hear. They are often repeated many times everyday, to me this seems kind of weird. One of the words that concerns me, is in fact that very word. A word I've been hearing for so many days, this peculiar word concerned. On television, radio, and in conversations everywhere I go it is said. This peculiar word so often repeated, it's always popping into my head? Now that I've passed it on to you, when you hear it, you might become concerned? Or you could just laugh and think of me, the listener to the worlds concern.
Danny Kearley 7-22-14

Details | Couplet | |

Four Little Devils

Four little devils sitting in the park
Four little devils waiting for the dark

          Waiting for a smoker, waiting patiently
          Waiting for a sucker out looking for some weed!

First little devil sells it to a cop
Second little devil ran but he got popped

          Third little devil screamed with all his might
          Went into a coma then later died of fright!

Fourth little devil never blinked an eye
So the cops asked him, "Why not try to fly?"
          Then the devil answered, "Me no habla Engles'"
          So they gave him welfare and called it a success!

                                                Timothy I. Brumley

Details | Bio | |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.

Details | Rhyme | |

4:20, Four- Twenty, The Earth Day Birthday

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

Details | Narrative | |


I am very stressed today.
I sat at my desk today and kept thinking about all the things I need to do then made a list of 
them all. All day I spent the morning worrying about the things I needed to do and wondered 
how I was going to finish them all. So, I made a list of the steps for how I going to complete 
each thing I listed, then wondered how I was going to complete all those steps. Now, I'm 
putting all the steps in order so it makes sense and makes it easier to get all the things done 
that I need to do. I was surprised when I read the list I made and found that the one thing I 
wanted to do today was merely to finish something. But that one small task had twenty-
seven steps. Yes, it's been a VERY stressful day.

Details | Rhyme | |


Flailin’,  flailin’, flailin’;
There goes my ball sailin’
Into a trap, the water or the woods.

Flailin’, flailin’, flailin’;
You can hear me wailin’,
“Why won’t that damn ball go where it should?

Drives go right.  Putts go wrong.
I shank my wedges or ‘skull’em’ long.
My golf game’s just no damn good.

I’m swingin’ too hard & lookin’ up;
As if I’ll actually see it go in the cup….
As if it ever really would.

My alignment’s too far left or right.
My ball can find the only tree or trap in sight,
Even if the shot starts out lookin’ good.

These days, I carry some special tools:
A handheld weed eater with extra spools
And a pruning saw, in case I’m in the woods.  

I’ve even tried to ‘buy’ a better game.
No matter.  My scores were just as lame.
Those new clubs didn’t do what they should.

Bogies & doubles...even triples... are common scores.
I very rarely get pars any more.
Believe me, I’d change it if I could.

My buddies said it must be me,
A teaching pro I should go see.
They said he’d fix my game…..if anybody could.

The pro said, “Hit some balls while I watch you.
Just set up and hit’em like you normally do.
We’ll see if I can do your game any good.”

After the first bucket of balls I hit,
He calmly said, “Take two weeks off…then quit.
Take my advice.  You really should.”

Now, what really has me vexed,
I’m wondering what I’ll try next.
That pro’s advice was no damn good.

So, I struggle along with my flailin’ game;
But, strangely enough, have fun just the same,
Finding hope in rare shots that are actually good.

Details | Rhyme | |

Mr Bartender

Oh dear friend of mine
I need to tell you about me and my wine
It always goes down so smooth
All of my cares it does soothe

Then when I go home 
To my frig I do roam
Inside another bottle of wine does set
So needless to say another glass I get

Then my eyes starch to blurling
Ants my worchs starch to slurching
Jist wunch I tellch waach agret friegs zha ares
Angs jist menbers thizisg way i donst goes ta bars

Details | Free verse | |

Conspiracy: Who Killed The Easter Bunny

A crowded table, all suspended in shock 
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock

Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable

They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied

Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman

Details | Rhyme | |

Gender Fender Bender

A Real Gender Bender

I drove on down to the grocery store
to buy myself some meat
milk and eggs and veggies
And variety of treats

When I pulled into the parking space
She was pulling out
I quickly rolled my window down
and gave a little shout

Well, she may have stopped in time
to save my poor car's fender
But what took place, after that
Was a real Gender Bender

When she got out of her car
I notice she was tall
And nothing about this lady
Would I describe as small

But a sexy hot potato
Blond hair blue eyes an all
Boobs, Butt, a nice tight waste
She could strut it all

With the flutter of her eyes
and a pucker of her lips
she strolled on over to me
hypnotizing, with her hips

As she bent down to my window
Her cleavage made me sigh
I had a feelin', of gettin' "Lucky"
'Till  "HE" punched me in the eye

Details | Ballade | |

An Ellice Island - In search of KindRed Soul

Long miles of tedious journey,
Missing my darling honey.
Travelling impatiently, spend thousands of 
Hope god will bless me with ma lucky soul 
at this season.

Equatorial island exploring its amazed 
beauty, glittering with immersed grasses.
Wrapped by queens necklaced small lake 
aside, at the outskirts of dalhousie.
My heart dwelled into its god gifted 
When the night lime lighted,
Millions of stars scattered around 
charming moon.
As if its was a wondering boon.
Lucky enough for landing with my next 

Eagerly waiting for my heart chaser,
Girl passed near by, few seconds later.
Flaming beauty mould my soul.
Topped with innocence, ready for my 
auspicious goal.
Her chic appearance,
Her innocent appeal.
Strucking heart raised with high beats..
Awaited for our romantic date in ma 
upcoming meet.

Frequency of our nature matched.
Stolen Eyes of each other were catched.
Strings of our heart whistled 
Everything had happened miraclelously.
I rebelled the three precious words of 
romantic dictionary.
Accepting my red rose, She blushed.

At event of recreation, campfire were 
Nobody around us, private moments 
between we two spotlighted.
Playing guitar, she sinked with every beat,
That's the coincidence our eyes again 
Hand in hand danced with the soothing 
romantic theme,
Sparkling smile on her face beamed.
Getting closer to her, because of her 
fragranced cream.
Expecting the light around us to be dim.

The romantic moment again came,
Flaps of my soul opened for the grand 
She looked too pretty in her gold lame 
My heart awarded her an order of chivalry.
Don't know who are you, but baby you are 
the one, I am in love.
You live in me, You are my love
I feel you in my heart,
You are my world, I just cant stay apart!

Please don't hesitate, please don't lie,
Whatever you feel, my heart can buy!
Angel of life, Its just you.
Completeness in life can't be without you.

Wanna Carry journey happily together.
Tickling nose, Queenly beauty of my white 
Hold my senses, its caught by you.
Don't let be just memories, wanna feel 
ecstasy of love towards you forever.
Promising to hold your hand throughout 
life in this lovely weather.

Will be your shadow, because your pain 
will be mine.
Its destiny that our heart clicked a 
snapshot of each other's soul.
Stopping by my question, Will you marry 
me, my Kindred Soul?

Details | Ballad | |


 Here I sit
 Watching time go by.
 I'm all alone,
 But high.

 I think I'm "Trippin' Out", without a doubt.

 Everything seems to be spinning.
 I see two frogs playing poker.
 And neither one's winning.

 I'm "Trippin' Out", without a doubt.

 The phone rang,
 I answered my shoe.
 I couldn't remember
 What to do.

 I'm "Trippin' Out", without a doubt.

 I heard the doorbell,
 And wondered if he or she
 Would be able to tell.

 That I'm "Trippin' Out", without a doubt.

 So, I didn't answer the door
 And decided to get stoned some more.
 So I lit another joint,
 And to get right to the point.

 I was "Trippin' Out", without a doubt.

 My eyelids sank,.
 And my mind grew blank
 As the world moved farther away.
 I woke up the next day
 With these words to say,

 I was "Trippin' Out", without a doubt. 

(per contest rules - Influence was Marijuana)

Details | Light Poetry | |


                               NO REFILLS---Dr. P. Soupenstein
                               Rx *7563287      BEC 11/11/11      
Seems to me,
what you need 
for healing this condition...
is something real
you can feel
to ease this mean affliction

Patient please
accept from me
this poetry prescription:

      ( <_____PUSH & TURN_____> )

Take ONE positive poem
Read ORALLY 2 times BY MOUTH -----
Every 4-6 HOURS AS NEEDED for the pain 

Blues and belly aches will dissipate
resulting in healthy energy gains 

-Alcohol may intensify the effect of being drowsy 
attempting to read while operating machines... 
will cause you to drive lousy.

Details | Epic | |


Looking back on the memory 
Of a perfect Sunday afternoon
Contest results were rolling in
How I faired would be known soon

Amy made my poem her Reason
I was blown away with a first place
Encouragement from the horse rider
I was humbled by her poetic grace

Craig's Oddities landed me a #5 
It's amazing just to be on his list
The dude is an incredible talent
To glean from him I can not resist

Roy had given me a number two
For a Bridge to take troubles away
Didn't realize how much I'd need it
Before the sunset on this Spring day 

I was writing congratulations to others
When Verlena proudly notified me
In Small Poems I'd finished first again
I was in total shock how could this be

Like a child I screen shot the winners list
How else could I remember this day
Proudly made edits to reflect the win
In that moment I'd love to stay

Within hours 1st prize had been taken
I surly wasn't the king after all
What appeared to be a super win
In reality became a significant fall

I quickly notified the contest sponsor 
As a newbie who doesn't know how it works
I was told "it probably was a Glitch"
Perhaps one of the Soup's quirks?

For good measure to keep me humble
Since yesterday there's been 4 contest
I didn't place in any of them
Not a one thought my work was best

I don't want there to be any drama
Surely these failures can't be blamed on me
Could there be a simple explanation
The Glitch, a result of the Peter Conspiracy?

*This is the story of how a newbie to PoetrySoup went from 1st place to 5th place (update: now last place) in a small poems Contest.  The poem is not meant to vent frustration, but to show how a young pup can easily become full of themselves only to be quickly humbled! The intent is purely humorous!


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

A Boxcar Named Desire

No, we weren't a couple one expected. 
"What could she be thinking", one reflected. 
Yet we held an undefined attraction; 
Some subconscious neuron interaction. 

After weeks we gathered our composure 
Time to face my parents' first exposure. 
True, your looks were just a bit off kelter(sic). 
Poets often live at homeless shelters. 

Mother stiffened, held her throat, and gasped. 
Father never moved, in shock perhaps. 
Then we vowed to do what we must do. 
Freight trains leave at seven, ten and two.

Gene Bourne


Details | Haiku | |


Lookin' after pests
Keepin' a CLOSE eye on 'em
"Those wild animals!"

Roamin' around zoo
Searchin' for sneaky monkey
Hidin' in a tree

Zookeeper gets mad
"Where's Marty, the smartypants!?"
"He TOOK my cage keys!"

Details | Limerick | |

Batman And Robin


Batman and Robin hit the Joker
But their blow was only a croaker
The Joker hit back
But instead hit Jack
Who said "I'm glad, the Joker's an smoker!

Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000


Details | Free verse | |

I am behind the wheel

I am behind the wheel
things move quickly by
I feel like I ‘m being pulled along 
by the machine
new  gauges 
just keep coming 
and going around

the faster I go
the greater the outside winds
the greater the noise
garbage flies speedily by
in all directions
some of it hits me 
and sticks

the outside noises are great
they confuse me
they cloud the music
and the surroundings
and overcome 
and relations

I must 
keep the windows closed
to keep out the outside noise
I must try to take control 
of the machine 
slow down speed up
right turn left turn
never never stop

I am told 
that I must keep going
to succeed
hands on the wheel
foot on the throttle
never never look back

I ‘m afraid 
to stop
how will I get 
where I’m going
once I no where
how will I find it
how will I know

Details | Light Poetry | |

The Lost Musketeer

Strode the red with a somewhat elegant stance.
Posture strut, apparel of a musketeer from France.
Outstanding panache surely caught the glance
Of the staring virgins, of the glaring aunts.
Flipped the cattle into a ga ga trance....
Did I make a wrong landing, by the faintest chance?
For the ga ga now seemed  more like a look of askance.
Clearly, I was an optical nuance.

Details | Burlesque | |

Suburban Spring

Suburban Spring	

	Springtime fills the air, 
			like laughing gas.
		(Or maybe more like whiskey.)
The suburbs are drunk on the nectar of it's dawn.
	Middle-class houses 
			are starting to dance.
		(Or maybe they're just wobbling.)
They vomit whole families onto their lawn.

			I watch them the same way dogs watch TV:
				Confused and intrigued, 
		with a slight urge to pee.

	The father cuts grass, 
			like a sleepwalker.
		(Or maybe more like a zombie -
Ravenous for cheap beer, instead of brains.)
	A six pack later, 
			he starts washing his car.
		(Or watering his driveway.)
He's spreading on wax so he's set when it rains.

	The mother kneels in dirt, 
			tending the garden.
		(More like digging in a sandbox.)
Her spade is rusty.  (Figuratively, at least.)
	A sunset later, 
			she cooks family dinner.
		(Or maybe orders some pizza.)
(If every mouth is fed, she can call it a feast.)

			I watch them the same way dogs watch TV.

	The son plays war games, 
			dying for fun.
		(Or maybe more for practice.)
He whines about fruit drinks, as well as the heat.
	A full pitcher later, 
			tweaking on sugar,
		(Or maybe just corn starch.)
the war escalates, 'til its time to go eat.

	The daughter makes a picnic, 
			inviting her toys.
		(Or maybe not.)
(Her plastic spread can only spread so thin!)
	After the tea time, 
			she's off picking flowers.
		(Or maybe weeds.)
(As long as they're pretty, there's a vase that they'll fit in.)

		They gather, as a family, at the table to say grace.
		They hold each others' hands and say, "Amen."  
			(And proceed to stuff their face.)

	The dog sits by the boy - 
			Loyal and true.
		(Or maybe just hungry.)
He drools as he stares from the corners of his eyes.
	After dinner, 
                     he offers to help with the dishes.
		(Or maybe he demands it.)
The boy sneaks him a bite.  The dog is not surprised.

	Bedtime comes soon after.  
			The kids are sent to brush their teeth.
		(Or maybe just to run the sink.)
They put on their jammies, and to bed, they go.
	After tucking them in, 
			the parents watch TV.
		(Or maybe they just dream they do, 
					sleeping in its glow.)

	The dog is changing channels, 
			looking for a better show.
				Confused and intrigued, 
		he pees on the carpet below.

Details | Sonnet | |

The Bride

On the wedding
The Bishop co-ordinating
Called in the groom
Only awaiting the bride
Hymns going up in the air
Half hour passed
And yet she is unarrived
"What is delaying you?"
The groom yelled at the Bishop
"Your bride isn't here"
With a dimple from the groom's cheek
Loke side way at his bride
"He has long arrived
I am gay"

Details | Limerick | |

The astonishing disappearing act

Proctologists need to write when 
A prescription's called for big ben 
But a doctor equipped
With thermometer quipped
An asshole's walked off with my pen

Details | Rhyme | |

Stolen Thoughts

I've seen pieces of it in my head,
Not together but it's there.
All of a sudden it disappears
Blackened thoughts fill the air.
Creativity turns to despair,
As writers block takes a bow,
Another stolen premier...

Details | Couplet | |

Where does the Time go

I feel as though time is slipping away,
And more is gone each passing day…

Details | Limerick | |

Plain Computer Talk

”. Errors, error, press on “any key
Yes our minds are a clutter you see.
I told you what to do.
Now you are turning blue.
No” any key” shows itself to me.

Details | Narrative | |

Well Said My Poetically Challenged Friend

Well said, my poetically challenged friend... 

Your insight is deep and telling of your sage, 
Even if I can not understand your poetic wage, 

Tell us more of your triumphs and travels, 
And don't leave out the blotter and gavels, 

For it is your frailty which entices, 
The calling of the soul, 
And unlocking of the mind... 

For when we read of your glorious battle, 
And become the fodder of which you prattle, 

Remember that these are the days, 
We relished the great dreams you gave, 

Soon you will be left to your own devices, 
Karma so apropos, 
Balancing over time... 

Then with great pride I will be able to say, 
That I once met a poet untamed,

A free verse poet like you who has belched, 
With nonconforming musings, true and heartfelt, 

Oh what great cost the poets price is, 
Always watching yet always alone, 
All to capture truth sublime, 

Again well said, my poetically challenged friend!

Details | Limerick | |

Thanksgiving in the mirror

With "plenty" this culture's endowed 
Bad outcomes are never allowed!
But nature's stealthy
And notes for the wealthy
Silver linings come with a cloud

Details | Ode | |

Love feast

Love feast             by Steven Hudson

I have looked upon too many scarred, sullen and hard faces these many days.
Loud, crude, gruff men who take and push and fight.
This ship has run its course, sleepless, tossed about,
Every port and harbor, sea and foreign land.
My companions smell and to look at them would make you turn down.
I’m pretty sure I have a tapeworm and my piss is the wrong color.
So my love, when here at last I see your face,
You’re smile, piercing eyes, and silky long hair,
To gaze at you now is a love feast to behold,
And from now and forever you will always be…..
The most captivating golden retriever I have ever seen.

Details | I do not know? | |

Why Are Church Doors Locked


I have been a member for many years. I attend when ever I can.  I pray and pay.
I guess, I took it for granted, but not anymore. I must stand up for all that want to know.  For all that need to know. No! I am not a  hero, but I would like to know. 

There was a time in my youth, when it was un-thinkable to lock a church door. Did congress pass a law, while I was sleeping?  Should I call the sheriff?  Why didn’t the pastor tell me?  Does he know? Did he lock the front door, side door, and even the back door? Does God know, the doors at the church are locked?  Saints, we are in big trouble.

Okay! Let’s get serious. Are you trying to keep something locked out? Are you trying to keep something locked in? This could be a sin. There are two individuals in the congregation that I can ask.  They certainly must know answer. After all, their name is Brother Lock and Brother Smith. Yes! The Lock Smith Brothers. 

Now if the Devil is locked up, when I leave church, I’m okay with that. You say, I should not worry about this.  Well! It is now at the top my list. I want to know more. It’s time to stop church crime.  

Dr. "G"

Details | Carpe Diem | |


Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.

Details | Free verse | |

Laughter is Indeed the Best Medicine On Hand

A day’s of hard work,
and serious issues to handle,
though some hiccups may arise,
in order to erase these hiccups,
we need to have some fun,
and laughter is only the best medicine,
to cure on these hiccups hands on,
for this, 
we may not travel afar,
just take a look at Indian politics,
quite laughable as it is,
wherein a number of issues,
had come to the forefront,
mostly related to the cap on cylinders,
and the FDI in retail,
wherein a number of politicians,
cast a number of political ambitions,
of becoming the National leader of our Motherland,
but have no concern for the citizens,
living in here,
wherein the bridge between the poor and the rich,
gets wider and wider,
it is not the pursuit of political ambitions, 
which the citizens want in here,
it is the solutions to various problems,
which they want,
and as such there is no politician,
as fit enough for this purpose,
are they really fit enough,
is the question and as laughable as it is,
it is time for the younger generations,
to take the plunge into politics,
wherein they need to cast over their fear,
and political apprehensions, 
and save their dear Motherland India,
from all troubles,
and to make their Motherland into a Paradise!!

Details | Rhyme | |

Something Aint Right

Awoke in the dark upon my bed
With the cat sleeping on my head,
Grabbed my socks and blew my nose
Tried to pull my hanky onto my toes.

I knew something wasn’t right
Shoulda turned on the light.
Staggered to the kitchen,
While the cat was kickin’...

Seems I put her food in the litter box,
And now she’s going into detox.
Where in the heck is the coffee pot?
Sure am trippin’ a lot.

I knew something wasn’t right.
Shoulda turned on the light.
Time for me to go to work,
Gotta get the coffee to perk.

Tastes awful weak without the grounds.
Time to go to work and make my rounds,
On no …. that’s right… I Lost my job!
Oh well, might just go for a jog.

I knew something wasn’t right. 
Shoulda turned on the light.

Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”

Details | Free verse | |


Now when I was a young man 
I didn’t need pills everything worked
I wasn’t a fan 

But now that I'm old 
I need pills everyday 
One to lower my blood pressure 
Another to keep the cholesterol away 

Now I have a new one 
To keep my mind straight 
And because of this 
I can’t ejaculate 

It’s good for an old man to stay hard for so long 
But even for that 
I need a pill for that schlong

I wonder whats next in the pill world for me 
Maybe a pill 
So I can pee 

They gave me holder to keep my pills all arranged 
But keeping them straight 
Is making me deranged 

I need a pill to tell me what pill and when 
Because for the life of me 
I forget now and then 

I can’t tell the difference between the colors of each  
If I take the wrong one 
I have a hard on and no speech 

Now all these little pills 
Cost a pile of bills 
Which causes me 
Lots of stress and ill 

No more pills thank you 
I’ve had my fill 

Eric (and always will be)  

Details | Light Poetry | |

Cat and Mouse

Late night I come
Dog greets and barks
He chases, I run

Next night I come
Ready with sticks
I chase, he runs

Days go Nights come
Dog plays cat and mouse
I chase or run

Then came the Night I dread
The Dog descends the stairs
Unaware I climb the stairs

We greet face to face
Scared to death
I run down

The Dog darts above

Details | Carpe Diem | |


If its money I got its money ill keep. If its money I have its money ill weep. If its love that I give its love ill receive. For I am but no one who just see's beneath. Some say your only as strong as you feel, but how could we a place that's so unreal. People are hearing but..not really hearing. Why is the world so blind. I keep on screaming and screaming and screaming for things to be revolutionized. I am just a small song in a world full of cries, laughter, tears and french-fries.

Details | Light Poetry | |

Fire and Brimstone

I was giving a lesson on the Liberty Bell, as the daily Church bells went off.
Yes, you guessed it, Dragon wanted to ring them, suddenly he was aloft.
Before we could follow, he was out of sight, but that didn’t matter, anyhow.
The only steepled church, with bells, is on the other side of town, I vow.
Time was against me, as I hurried, for my Dragon, had been quick, my friend.
It took only a moment, for him to get in trouble as, yes, he surely did, again!
At the Belfry, he found no bells; they’d gone to canned sounds, the week before.
He was so intent on finding their location, that he opened the belfry trap door.

Tail in the air, head thru the trap door, Dragon fell and became completely, stuck!
Worse yet, Wednesday’s service was going on, the church was packed. My luck!
Imagine preaching fire and brimstone, as a Dragon appears, puffing fire and smoke!
He disturbed the peace… as he yelled for help, with a crazed and mighty roar.
Instead of help, he got a whopping, from the cane of, dear old lady Moore.
She was protecting everyone, as they tried, to make it out of the doors.
Now, Dragon panicked, as he knocked the steeple belfry, partially loose.
An earthquake knocked a few, off their feet, as dragon tried to get loose.

This became the best fire and brimstone service the preacher ever gave!
The sermon rocked, as a parishioner blew the fire extinguisher in Dragon’s face!
Dragon began to sneeze and cough. Yep, it was a whooping, big mistake!
Now, people began to panic, and blocked every exit there was, to take!
I needed to get in, to stop this, before anyone could, truly get hurt!
The neighborhood witch had followed, and as she laughed all heard!
She loved us as neighbors, for we tickled her funny bone, every night.
I implored her to save the day, for a lot of lives were definitely, in plight.

She was very inventive, you know, to turn him into an itty-bitty, dragonfly.
Now, he finally escaped, though he sneezed and coughed for a very, long, time.
The preacher’s sermon went viral, as time immortal, famous, he became.
But old Lady Swanson came too close, as her favorite, go to meeting hat…
Well, you can say, the hat everyone hated to sit behind… It went up in smoke!
That day became known, in infamy, as the only one, Dragon went to Church!
I didn’t pay the witch’s price, to make him big again. She said it wouldn’t be wise.
Just leave him like that, till the mob simmers down. He can pay his own price.

Details | Couplet | |


Hey! What if a computer were a car?
So much more economical, by far!

You see at once advantages galore
With all that high-tech wizardry in store.

A virtual computer set on wheels.....
This surely is the very best of deals!

You rush to buy one of these "guided missiles",
Your automotive "Dell" with bells and whistles.

.................Fast forward now to one month down the road.
Your frenzied brain is ready to explode!

You found your car would crash three times a week!
You had to pay some sly computer geek

To get the blasted engine up and running.
(His service bills were nothing less than stunning.)

You learned that turning on the windshield wiper
Would mean you really had to "pay the piper"!

By sensing you clicked on that wiper part,
Your car would shut down and would not restart!

Your airbag system's totally annoying;
It asks you "Are your sure?" before deploying.

Your precious car insists, as it to scoff,
You must press "start" to turn the darn thing off!

Just when these gimmicks you begin to doubt,
Your car without a reason locks you out!

"Access denied!" until by luck you pressed
At once the grille and hood.  (Who would have guessed?)

You feel betrayed by this hybrid computer?
You should have bought a plain old two-wheeled scooter!

Details | Rhyme | |

Ear Plug

Details | Ballad | |

the poverty blues song

I've got damp on my walls and cobwebs in the hall
got a rat in the kitchen
where the cockroach crawl.
I got holes in my shoes
where my toes peep through
I got a bad case of the poverty blues.

I got a crack in my bathtub and bed bugs in my bed
I got things crawlin through my hair
that make me scratch my head

Got piles of bills collected by my door
the one's I should have paid a year or two or more.
I try to get myself sorted
but always seem to lose
I got a bad case of the poverty blues.


I got trouble in my hovel
and the place could do with a good clean
I may not be superman
but  I try the best I can
I just find things so hard to do
Guess I got a bad case of the poverty blues.

Some people call me lazy
but I sure ain't crazy
I;m a man alone in the world what can I do
I got a bad case of the poetry blues.

I'd love to meet a girly
who could cook and clean
with lots of money
so I could live my dreams
one thet would say I do
so I no longer got to sing the poverty blues
say I no longer got to sing the poverty  blues uesssssssssssssss.

Peter Dome copyright. 2012.

Details | Sonnet | |

The Bride

On the wedding
The Bishop co-ordinating
Called in the groom
Only awaiting the bride
Hymns going up in the air
Half hour passed
And yet she is unarrived
"What is delaying you?"
The groom yelled at the Bishop
"Your bride isn't here"
With a dimple from the groom's cheek
Loke side way at his bride
"He has long arrived
I am gay"

dated May

Details | Lyric | |

The confusing world of Poetry

The confusing world of poetry

Clerihews, and couplets
Acrostics, and Haikus
Me head is spinning round and round
Oh Lord I’m so confused
I’d like to read about the stuff
But I really ain’t got time
I’m too busy trying to write
In rhythm and in rhyme

I never was so very clever
I flunked in all at school
I guess me dad, he got it right
He called me village fool
He tried to make me turn out clever
But he didn’t have a chance
Cause I’m a dreamer through and through
You can see that at first glance.

So I don’t know about complex things
I’m just a simple man
But me, I’ve wrote eight thousand songs
And I’ve done it cause I can
The words roll out like a waterfall
And they come just like they are
And I talk about love, and I talk about life
And the flowers and the stars.

25 July 2013 @ 0925hrs.

Details | Haiku | |

All About the Music: The Infinite Magic of Lyricism

Pop may be catchy
But not lyrically deep
Case in point: Chris Brown.

(N.B. Poem written after hearing "Don't Wake Me Up")

Details | Prose Poetry | |

OXYMORON Newsflash:

"EARLY TONIGHT, according to HEAR SAY, things got PRETTY UGLY when a SINGLE GROUP of HELLS

(in a strange way, this type of wishy-washy lingo reminds me of our lovely National news)

Details | Limerick | |


Two virgins who were known as stupid
Spent wedding night waiting for Cupid 
Said something in his pants
Disturbed their sweet romance
And now it appears that it's rooted

Date: 5-31-14
Sponsor: Roy Jerden
Contest Name: Bawdy, Bawdy, Bawdy, Miss Clawdy

Details | Free verse | |

Soy Sauce Spills

Soy sauce drains 
Into the white, clustered rice
Stepped on…
spills . . . 
Soy sauce taints
The whiteness of the grain
 It slips out of my hands
No point in crying out in rage
Though I was starving, 
I'll just eat another thing and start on a new page

I'm hungry like a swine
I wish I can earn back my snack!
I'm as angry as a bull
I'm about ready to attack! Attack!
Soy sauce packages
Fall unto the dirty school ground
Stepped on
By bratty, conceited teens
They really need to eat their greens
Instead of junkfood and pizza
They should drink some water
Instead of drinking sugary drinks or
 Sucking on popsicles obnoxiously
Why did the soy sauce spill? Seriously....

Details | Haiku | |

Note to Self

Stop writing haikus
They don’t even make sense now
Something something cake

Details | Haiku | |


A Christmas wish list
A quick glimpse into my life
Not much going on

Details | Free verse | |

Have You Ever Read

Dedicated to an author by the name of William Golding... Enjoy!!!

~Two boys meet on an island
~~One is skin 'n bones
~~~The other one is chubby

They discover a lagoon~
Ralph teases him by calling~~
him "Piggy" -  how mean!!~~~

Piggy asks him if
There are other people on 
The island with 'em

He has no clue
But this'll answer Piggy's question --
Other boys appear - 
All diverse shapes and sizes
What'll happen next??

You'll see...

Have you ever read The Lord of the Flies?
I recommend it if yah haven't read it yet - I must admit
It's a book full of adult words and it's simply...FASCINATING! - no lies
You should read it - or you'll regret it!

Details | Light Poetry | |

I Hate The English Language

A friend advised "Cheer up, buddy, and don't be blue",
strange of him to say that just when I was feeling low.
I was thinking, what was so colorful about being sad,
only showed his English vocabulary was awfully bad.

"Don't vote for Obama, he is untested and green",
how come, I wondered, when he clearly got black skin.
It can't be that he descended from leaves or something,
darn it, I'm linguistically challenged and confused again.

Down with a flu virus I was told to take plenty of orange,
that crazy doctor must really be kinda stupid or dense.
He couldn't have meant dyeing my few remaining hair,
unless that weirdo was moonlighting as a hairdresser.

Once, running scared from a fight, I was called yellow,
I did not get it, maybe because I'm a Chinese mestizo?
At home my amazon wife who learned about the run-in
promptly served for dinner a whole piece of chicken.

"Why chicken," I asked, "when you know I'm a vegetarian?"
"You earned it, sissy, when away from that fight you ran!"
"You're deep," I said, "I don't get what you mean, honey,"
to which she replied "Just finish your dinner, turkey!"

Hm, different colors, then chicken followed by a turkey,
I'd never understand these things until my dying day.
Damn that English language putting me in this mess,
better shift to Arabic, Tagalog, French or Cantonese.

Details | Free verse | |

The Mixup

Here's a poem of mirth, a very real incident that
happened on Facebook not so long ago. 
There I have some pictures posted of horses from my past,
and one was a picture of a stallion I once owned.
He was in the middle of the breeding of a mare, and so he was
showing his prowess to everyone that was there.

A comment it emitted, from a relative of mine, 
"He's showing off his manhood," she exclaimed, as if it was a crime.
"If I would have posted the picture taken right after this one here, you
would have seen him breeding, that is the truth my dear!" was my reply.
"Look at her," she said, "she's ready and she's waiting!"
"Yes I replied back again, "It was almost time for mating!"

Meanwhile on another picture, unknown to me and she; a picture of my husband hugging 
his eighteen year old daughter; our conversation was being posted below that picture
too, and so you can imagine what images it conjured up! As people read the comments,
and drew their own conclusions, I thought it rude and crude, they were suffering from 

Once I saw the posts there, I quickly remedied all thoughts that were in the gutter,
I posted one last post, clearing up the matter!

Details | Rhyme | |

Not Sofa King Cool

College Dorm sleeps
Four per room
Keg party 
Too much Boom

Drunk freshman sleeps
Where he falls
Coeds toss him on 
The sofa 
Instead of snooze in
the halls

Sorority girl 
Named him  
“Sofa King Tool”
Now he feels like a Fool
Not Sofa King Cool

Details | Rhyme | |

Second Hand Love

*This is not based on a true story, I cannot stress that enough.*

The days are lonely 
And the nights don't make sense
I went to look for The One 
And I was feeling tense

Walking down the High Street
Popped in to the Cash Converters store
I'm sure I missed a heartbeat
As I saw her lying on the floor

Used, in good condition
Deflated breasts, a sombre gaze
Beggars cant be choosers
Inviting look got me amazed

She doesn't nag, she doesn't moan
No monthly scarlet tears
Second hand love, second hand love
Stays for years and years..

Details | Haiku | |

More Randomness

Must finish homework
Bio, hard Math, and German 
Ooh! Look! Butterfly...

Details | Haiku | |

Statue of David

Hard flaccid member
Statue stands erect

By Richard Lamoureux
David for David's contest

Details | Lyric | |


You’ll never know how much you speak to me I just can’t fathom the beauty that I see Your heart goes out in everything you do Your mind spews rain of music so true I am lost in the light of your unimpeachable words Everything around me, in me, feels so damn absurd I futilely try and fight a battle never won And realize that I am already gone Ooooh I am mesmerized Oh, I can’t be surprised That I am mesmerized You can see it in my eyes Am I blushing? Am I rushing this through? Are you laughing? Oh damn, he knows it’s true I am mesmerized Oh, I can’t be surprised Oh so mesmerized He can see it in my eyes Knowing you’re far from mine You’re words still stop all time Because you’re so damn sublime You’re simply out of this world So just get out of my mind! Oh! I’m mesmerized…. If there was a way inside your mind There still wouldn’t be me to find You’re moving so blasted fast And I just can’t reach the mask Man, it seems so useless, to try and make you see That I want you beyond all reason, knowing it can never be As you thrill the crowd, as you kiss the girl I’ll just stare at your pictures, wishing I was her Ooooh I am mesmerized Oh, I can’t be surprised That I am mesmerized You can see it in my eyes Am I blushing? Am I rushing this through? Are you laughing? Oh damn, he knows it’s true I am mesmerized Oh, I can’t be surprised Oh so mesmerized He can see it in my eyes Knowing you’re far from mine You’re words still stop all time Because you’re so damn sublime You’re simply out of this world So just get out of my mind! So lost, so gone, this war was never won Mesmerized
* Dedicated to the singer Anthony Snape, And...a secret person that no one shall know about! Muahahaha! (except Becca)

Details | I do not know? | |

Floop Goop Suprise

Kanoodle the poodle,
eats blue beans and noodles.
With sticky grey peas,
while he swings in a tree.

A brown fish on toast,
a pink bubblegum roast.
On crackers with cheese,
whilst dancing with fleas.

Red floop juice and blue goop,
makes a purple floop soup.
white fish eyes and black flies,
we've made a floop goop suprise.

as the floop goop cools off,
he starts licking his chops.
He feasts by a tree
then falls fast asleep


Contest: Dr seuss on the loose
Copyright (c) 2012
James Mahauariki

Details | Dramatic Verse | |

Danny Boy

Well Danny, boy you've got me beat
I keep thinking that you really care
You hug me softly, take my hands
And send these butterflies in the air

You've heard my stories over again
Of failures and mishaps and pain
You tell me that you're different though
And invite me to sing in the rain

Danny boy, you stop my heart
Those eight minutes we talk each day
I wake up waiting for that bell
That'll signal you walking my way

And I can't look when you're coming close
I'm afraid that I'll forget to breathe 
Every day it gets worse for me
And I wish the butterflies would leave

Danny, you're playing with my head
And I wish that you could see
I hide my feelings for my best friend
But It's taking all of me

Details | Free verse | |

Reflections: Intellectualism

To Dine, To Die;
Conversations spiral
While thunderous eyes
Grasp concepts to recycle.

Constant debt crisis
A political paradox
Grating social devices
Over the sorting of socks.

An endless groan
Argumental paralysis
The debate grants no throne.

Over a roast
Potatoes won't listen
To who talks the most.

"That point is so interesting"
The floor is open for chat
"What is real?" not a thing
"Meow" adds the cat.

Details | Free verse | |

A Green Dog Loves Decent Purple Dandelions

A Green Dog Loves Decent Purple Dandelions

I knew I had it with me
It gave me so many great ideas
Shaped them and formed them into poetry
Lately the words do not come to me
They mix together and become incomprehensible
I write, “A green dog loves decent purple dandelions”
That won’t make sense to anyone with some drugs
I want to write
I want to create something special
“A green dog loves decent purple dandelions”
What the hell does that mean?
They came from my fingers through my keyboard
My fingers were controlled by my mind
What was my mind thinking?
What was the imagery I was intending?
Christ, I wish I knew
He won’t tell me what was in my mind
I don’t think he would want to know
I just know one thing
With lines like that my mind is not with me
It left with a bottle of Kentucky whiskey
Travelling on its own
My mind is on vacation to a different planet
A planet in a galaxy so many light-years away
It may never come back to help me be creative
“A green dog loves decent purple dandelions”
That may be the last line I ever write
And THAT would be a hell of a way to be remembered

Details | Free verse | |

Why oh why oh my

Why do we always get a huge spot
On the end of our nose before a date
And the we turn up much too late
Why do things always break down in three's
And get sea sick on the sea
Can't find the car keys in a hurry
Why do I always worry
Why is it when your in the bath
The telephone always rings
And when you search for something
You can't find anything
But find something you left before
Why are lectures such a bore
Why is the grass never greener on the other side
And why does the movie Bambi
Always make you cry
Why do I have such hairy legs and such hairy thighs
Why don't we get a suntan on our eyes
Why does my computer always go down
Why is it such a battle shopping in town
Why do women wear skirts
Even when it's bitter cold does it hurt
Why am I always the last in the que
And have so many people frown at you
Why do we always burn a cake
Why can't I float like a butterfly
And dance swan lake
Why do we get dust bunnies under the bed
And after a drink or two
We get a pickled head
Why are banana's bent
Why can't I ever pay the rent
Who is Bill I send my money to
Why do I have to take my teeth out to chew
Why do I always run out of toilet paper sat on the loo
Why do pigs run about naked and roll in the mud
I'd do the same thing if I could
Why are my girlfriends always insane
Why is my little toe in so much pain
Why can I only ever find one sock
Why is so difficult when pickled to turn the lock
Why do my feet stink
And my underpants always come out of the wash pink
Why am I writing this
Any single women out there
Want a kiss

Ar well such is life, damn hard without a wife.
And so darn lonely

Peter Dome.copyright.2014. July.

Peter Dome.copyright.

Details | Free verse | |

The Switch Up

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Rhyme | |

Conflict of Self-Interest

By: Amy

I need  to study, cannot go out...
I’m so behind, I simply must work...

I have a paper, and test real soon...
I can’t take a hangover on a Sunday...

I’ve so much concern, my GPA’s sunk...
I’ll be too tired, the night gets so late...

Really, grades worry me, school’s been tough...

Details | Quatrain | |

Christmas madness

Twas a few days before Christmas, shoppers
dazed and bewildered, wandered through the store
selecting groceries from off the shelves,
paying for purchases, minds are elsewhere.
In quick succession, three people stepped out
there in front of my cart - could not stop quick
so each  was hit gently, not one was hurt
just dumbfounded why I ran into them!

Details | Sonnet | |

I'm Sorry, Billy Shakespeare

I despise sonnets, and they despise me.
So obnoxious with their fourteen line rhymes.
I’d rather be attacked by a banshee
Than be subjected to my mind’s rhyme-crimes.

Fingers tapping to the ten syllables.
Dead to the iambic pentameter.
Now I’m praying for the running of bulls.
A better poet would make my freezer.

o, I know Shakespeare would be so ashamed
To read the words that lay upon this page.
They do not stand to the man they are named.
A Shakespearean sonnet on rampage.

I know the man himself would not agree,
But thank God for rhyming dictionary.

Details | Romanticism | |

Reflections in the Firelight

The wood is piled
my emotions riled
Sweet expectations
settle in my soul

Sweat dappled brows
my emotions drowse
sudden conclusions
fill in the hole

of my heart.

The fire started in the pit
warming ourselves 
in it's globe
and there we sit
like two lost elves
waiting to disrobe

Take your time,
The perfect man
does exist.

rlm '09

Details | Haiku | |

Short Stuff

You can short yourself
You can keep shorting yourself!
You can make it short...

Details | Free verse | |

Did I Eat Dinner

Did I Eat Dinner?

How could I have lost my mind?
I remember bits and pieces of my day
Eggs and pancakes for breakfast
Coffee and cream for lunch
What did I have for dinner?
Did I even eat dinner?
I sat across from a woman
I seem to remember that.
She talked and I answered
I think we talked
What did we talk about?
Did I hear anything or did I make it up?
Was she real?
Did I eat dinner?
I think I smelled a steak and baked potato
Or is it potatoe, I don’t remember?
Could the smell have come from next door?
I don’t know
It could have.
They eat dinner every night
Or do they…I don’t remember if I have neighbors
Did I eat dinner?
I don’t remember
There is a plate in front of me
I don’t remember how I got it
It has good smelling food
Pancakes, steak and home fries
Is this dinner?
Did I have dinner?
This is most likely breakfast
I think I missed my dinner
Did I have dinner?
I will never know
But I will eat my breakfast
And maybe later in the day I will have dinner
If I remember.

Details | I do not know? | |


first  " there's not time like the present"  then they say "haste makes waste"
then "don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today"

"the more things change the more they stay the same" some say
and in the next breath"tomorrows another day"

they say "if it don't happen naturally then leave it"
then "if at first you don't succeed try try again "can you believe it?

Details | Senryu | |

Alluring Title

                                           Alluring title
                             Click look at who commented_
                                     Me, senior moment

Details | Ballade | |

Prolific, I guess that' me

Prolific, I guess that’s me

I read a poem by ilene Baur
Prolific, she called it
I saw myself right in those words
And it made me smile a bit
Then I asked myself this question
Why do I write so much?
Each time a subject comes along
My busy mind to touch….

Then I just grab a pencil
And a poem is written down
I guess it’s my addiction
I just hope that folk don’t frown
And say ‘Oh no! Not him again
Each time they see my stuff
I guess if I was in their shoes
I’d say “hey that’s enough!!!”

So bear with me good people
And If I cause you grief
By writing all these empty words
Then you may gain relief
By passing everything I write
Not reading it at all
And yet I hope this is not so
When you comment, it’s real cool.

8 August 2013 @ 0940hrs.

Details | Rhyme | |

to be a fish

Ever wonder what a fish will think
Why the heck it doesn't blink
Could they ever send a wink
If they're too fat will it sink
Do all cats like fish...even a link
Howcome fish really stink
Is water to a fish considered a drink
If a fish bends too far will it get a kink
Why is it male fish are the pretty colors like pink
Do poisonous fish spit out ink
When fish move their lips is it them doing a lip-sink
To be a fish let's call him Dink
If the water's warm will a fish shrink
Want to be a fish...maybe I'll re-think

Details | Free verse | |

Constantly Torment

Tears well in my eyes; don't let anyone see
Patch the broken parts over and over
Let no one know I am late for the show
Again, unconcern seems my plot
Friends don't desire your lights
Lard biscuits don't make you slender
Taste and know; It ain't for show

Tastes change and remove a familiar flavor
no lard to make those butter biscuits today
Hushpuppy corn bread is the way to go

Details | I do not know? | |

Caribbean You

More than a vacation, a vocation
In the field of tranquility you
Search the Caribbean blue
Sensation or mental refuge

White sandy beaches wet
Peaches in drinks collect
Making the experience perfectly
Sweet, worthy as a bodily

Treat. Club nights, escapes
In lantern light vases
Erases memories of work
And the Jerk in Apartment

24B. you are lovely, true
Disconnection from Kansas
Dorothy, pitchfork my ass!
And to heck with Toto too, I like cats,

Bat-monkey bellhops serving champagne 
On balcony restaurants under starry
Safari-scene coca bean cabanas. 
Your hammock sways, snapping

Shirt stays as rays of sunlight brook
Your book and cook toes
That glow from wearing
Black shoes. No swearing,

Sweating, connecting flights
To sit here and there, eating
On the go in slow traffic, lights
And horns blearing in through

Hotel windows. Without AC
You see a sea on your desk
In your messed up cluster
Schmuck of yucky tapestry

Adorning cubical rat
Mazes. In code and number
Each node and blunder, busses
Screeching breaks on lakes
Of concrete. meat sickles
Tickle the fancy of Metro
Nancy’s claiming amnesty
From male mannerisms

As aneurisms claim hardy
Workaholic espresso toting
Suits late for some meeting.

Welcome to Pleasure Island

Were your wildest dreams 
Are you, making love to 
Models, crack dealing to stay
Away from the hustle, bustle, bubble

Muscle-man tan left sleeve down world.
Colors brilliantly hue the rising
Set down let down, it all really is
A biz of romance looking askance

At boom box beats from street
Thugs in Timberland boots
That choose to use time
As a crime enterprise

Of lies. But you aren’t there
You’re there in bikini underwear
On the water in your Caribbean
You picture frame from a last

Trip that wasn’t drug induced :)

Details | Limerick | |

Slam Poetry Is For Orangutangs!

The Orangutang:

There once was a traditionalist,
Who in his ignorance had missed
The beauty of youth,
The ever-changing truth!
He's a typical fundamentalist!

The Traditionalist:

"I can't stand these kids and their slang!
They are just looking for a bang!
Their rhymes are funky,
But so are monkeys!"
  -  Did he just call me an orangutang?

"These darn kids and this gosh darn slam,
It may flow, but it's still a scam!
If it ain't metered,
Then it's petered!
Why waste your ink scribbling flimflam?"

Details | I do not know? | |

Forgetfulness x-x

Oh no!! I forgot – I had a plate of dessert In the cool freezer Oh no!! Dad forgot – He left his blue bowl of fruit On the clean counter!

Details | I do not know? | |


nice clothes
nice shoes
couple of girls
but i got a main boo

nice car
on 22's
lift kit on it
it's another 4in boost

hop out
see my homies
it ain't my forte
but all them smoking

big whip
car full
been drinkin since 1
n yet we still partying

fitted cap
yankee logo
girls say im fly
now they reaching for my "you know"

wake up
a hurricane went through the house
thanks mr Hugo

team liqour
super sick
i know i was texting
but dont remember this chick

she mad
im laughing
she says im an asshole anyways
i say i'm sorry but it was just another drunk day

Details | Dramatic monologue | |

An Indirect Self Afflicted Tribulation: A Situation Never To Be

My lateness once more has caused me immediate damnation, and my unstable state, a product of my lost attention. Overcoming the limitation by doing three person's work at once resulted to a failed manipulation of compressing minutes' activities into seconds just to beat time and achieve punctuality. Reaching for the door with already aggravated emotions. In self caution, I knew something was still missing then I realized it's a stuff I cannot go without. Oh My God! This means, beginning all over again. A complication I most feared in a situation like this. My dwelling place now seem a mansion as even my bedroom has undergone exaggeration which at this moment isn't as accommodating as the habitation I once knew. Starring at the plain surface of the mirror Table gave no answers and already praying for the fruitful termination of this trying time, as I searched among the cosmetic items it harbours. My next location is obviously the wardrobe and even with the intense frustration I was still calm enough to suppress the friction with myself as I searched each and every pocket of my clothing which are all hanging in straight vertical position. And yet, my state gradually reaching exacerbation, cos' there is no answer. In milliseconds, my Pillows are in two corners of the room I prayed for any sort of temptation but not this as the bed calmly accepts my aggressive search of my item which suffers an ungodly abduction. The Investigation continues with a quick scan through my shoes, and finally leaving the room with no appreciation which now looks like a ghetto market of a third world country, a demotion I usually never allow, not until now. The larger sitting room just increased my retardation having hope of finding my "Precious" would be mere hallucination so therefore, I barely did much other than a mere Inspection. Yet, cannot find its location, which simply increased the heap of burning coal on my head. Already tired of exclaiming several holy Indignation careful flash back and calculations of my previous movements yielded no results. "check the Double Seater" was my last thought. And as I acted in submission to that command, the invaluable material surprisingly fell off my shirt My Car Keys!

Details | Rhyme | |

the rabbit -part one-

(literary nonsense)
the winter was so long ago, burying the world in snow
rabbits hop where rabbits go, here i sit to-night
and the day i hath long dreaded which hath left me much beheaded
worn my sanity unthreaded as i sought the sun's warm light
said the rabbit, hopping past, to my thoughtless face aghast, "lanterns are a great delight."

but my mind hath never shown me, nor my pinched, weak thoughts have grown me 
anything which should beknown me: that a rabbit never talks
of a lantern, never falters in his steps to break the halters of the sacrifice on alter (of the wolf who nightly stalks)
just to speak to one who sulks under skies my soul doth mock

have you ever seen a rabbit come to break his daily habit and commence to speak as if it mother nature's natural norm?
and if by chance he mentions 'lantern' just to break your flurried pattern just to knock you off your rocker whilst you dream away a storm
does it leave you cold or warm to have a rabbit which informs?

if you haven't it is likely that you would not see me brightly
but you'd find me quite unsightly as most men find the plain insane
if you have i think you'd find it quite amusing for behind it
there's a joke that doesn't mind it, for jokes minding is inane
still i laugh at my poor brain for losing every bit of sane (to see a rabbit speak is strange)

and if i could see it logically; if possible biologically, i might function neurologically, but remember, brain twas dead
and the sky was growing longer, growing longer, ever grayer, and my mind was never stronger for i lacked a bit of bread
and the rabbit's words he said, hopping circles in my head

still it was that long i pondered, of a rabbit, yes i wondered, speaking to me while he wandered of a lantern bringing joy
and so to a barn i stumbled while the distant thunder rumbled and i felt so very humbled, being, a moment,a rabbit's toy
and i, my words, employed, to ask a lantern from a boy

it was kind of him to light it, and i journeyed back, excited, to the place where i was seated, seated in the dark of night
and there, i sat and waited with my trembling breath bated, and my mind was still sedated with the numbing lack of light
there i sat waiting in the night to catch the rabbit in my sight

Details | Limerick | |

Red Cheeks. ( Both Sets.)

After tossing back too many shots,
My tummy got tied up in knots.
But the outhouse fell down,
now a king with no crown,
I cover up where I must: "Thank You Scotts'!"

Details | Free verse | |

Love Underestimated

I love you, you love me
And that’s what it means to
Be free .

She loves him, he loves
Another him and that’s what
It means to be too good looking.

He loves her but isn’t sure
If she loves him back and this
Is what it means to be sitting
On a toilet seat.

He breaks up and then gets back
She cheats again and loses his
Trust, but she still loves him
So she comes back hoping he’ll
Take her back, only this time he
Cheats on her; so here it goes again-
She loves him but cheats on him,
He loves her only to get back at
Her and this is what it means
To solve trigonometry

Details | Free verse | |

Famous Nicknames

They nicknamed Doris Day the girl next door
But she never lived next door to me.

Sting is known as sting but isn't a bee.

Davy Jones was known as a monkey
But I never saw him swing through trees.

The called big John Wayne the Duke
But he wasn't born  within aristocracy.

Lana Turner was known as the sweater girl
But I never saw her sweat.

They call the invisible man invisible
But I haven't seen him yet.

Tarzan was known as the king of the jungle
But go tell that to a lion
Your title wouldn't have a lot to rely on.

Jane Mansfield was known as the blonde bomb shell
So get ready to run like hell.

Elvis was known as the pelvis
But there must have been more to him than that.

Bridget Bardot was know as the sex kitten
But wasn't a cat.

James Brown was known as the Godfather but
Didn't join the mob.

Sylvester Stallone Was known as the Italian stallion?.

Peter Dome.copyright.2014. July.

Details | Rhyme | |


Cough and splutter in a crowded room. A juke-box is playing another dreary tune. Lonely man feeds a bandit spending next week's rent Woman sits at bar smothered in make-up and scent. Young men at pool table in torn and holey jeans Are shouting in unison about favourite football teams. Soon elephants are pink leprechauns are green, Unreality is the truth that we have seen. Cold cold beer brings on the confusion It's the outside world that is now an illusion.
This is a sort of parody. Based on a Moody Blues section on one of their albums. Think it was just before or after one of the songs. Called Late Lament. Thought I'd better credit it any way just in case anyone points it out.

Details | ABC | |

Old Man

Around the Corner Contest
(WINTER is around the corner)
By Sally Wood
Old Man
There's an old man I heard is new in town
They say he's not shy as he takes over the land
His business is snow and ice and cold rain
The neighbors are talking he's all the rage

He changed the scenery his very first day
While the trees lost their leaves and died away
He has a blower for harsh cold winds and rain
And later he'll order people to dress his way

This old man has taken over our town
People are running in attempts to escape his plans
They wear heavy clothing, boots, and hats on their heads
As they pass him, he laughs, he has nothing to dread

Yes, there is a new old man in town
Who has people angry and avoiding his frown
He'll keep on moving a few months down the line
But for now, our town won't be free for quite some time!

Details | Couplet | |

Keep Off The Grass

If I paint the grass bright blue
The clouds will not know what to do.
They'll mill about upon the ground
Thinking trees are upsidedown.

Details | Acrostic | |

The Teach's from Brookl'n / Dedicated ta Sweetheart

T hey’d aughta not called nookie
H eaven’s blessed cookie...
E ither burd or bee, cause neither's a lookie! 

B urds well der feathered, not like me?
I n da interest of clarity, I’m certainly NO bee?
R obins do have red breasts and I have two, see?
D ern, maybe dat's why dey calls dem da burds and da bees?
S o, if da ladies da burd, da guy must be da bee? 

A nyway, why didn’t dey call IT da cows and da doves?
N ow, cows at least got legs and doves are for luv!
D rat, I still don’t get da bee stingy thingie, "Gov?"

T he bees has a sting YIKE and bees sure love honey.
H ell, maybe they thought a man'd sting ya for money?
E ither dat or “Hmmm,” some ladies are real punny?

B et we women smell real sweet, I guess, and da bees fly to honey?
E eeeeeekkk, I so confuddled, I feel like Mikey Rooney? 
E ach dern metaphors is making me more looney tooney!
S imply forget da dern foolishness and give me a groomie!  

Details | Rhyme | |


[ These days when Poets are unsure of spelling, they turn  to the spell check icon 
on their computers to help out.   The results though can sometimes leave you in 
the dark. ] 
My mind was on some new bush verse 
Based 'round the shearing shed, 
But spelling was my weakest point; 
A thing that poets dread. 
The word in tow was rouseabout 
I really was in doubt. 
My good old spell check icon though, 
Would surely help me out. 
I moved my cursor to the square 
And clicked the space called start; 
Then rouseabout came on the screen, 
With help there on a chart. 
Most rouseabouts are manly lads 
Young Kidmans on the grow, 
Though what it did suggest to me, 
Showed some folk sure don't know. 
It did not recognize the word - 
Not found - the thing displayed, 
But said, you should  try ROSEBUD sir, 
Some help, I felt betrayed.  

Details | Free verse | |

Power of praise I

Power of praise

When moved by God's spirit we all can rejoice

We can stand at attention with our voice alone
In days of disaster we can add a sense of laughter
Many get caught up with the great here & now
Yet pay no attention toward a great here after

Others alter their intellect only to achieve devastating disaster

The power of praise ensues riches untold

Within eqxuisite idol fancy having riches to unfold
A warm heart filled with truth to withstand a truest test in time
The power of praise will once again unite the forces sublime
Even if you go unrecognized now

Your name will be forever exalted some day!

Details | Quatrain | |

This Poem

This poem has yet to finish.
It's barely past the start.
It hasn't any followers
and isn't yet an art.

The subject is not written:
direction not quite clear.
My reason for it's being
is only what is here.

The length is getting longer
with nothing more to say.
Without a proper ending
it just might run astray.

I'll say my final thoughts
in hopes they'll bring an end.
But really; who'm I kidding,
a sequels 'round the bend.

Details | Rhyme | |

The Saga of the Lonely Cactus: "Lucky Cactus" Fifth Part

The Saga of the Lonely Cactus: “Lucky Cactus” Fifth Part

By Miriam McCue

The lucky Cactus is not just one only.
He is no longer sad and lonely.
Now he sits and sweats,
In the desert taking bets.

He works in a Casino they built there,
(Though it blocks him from the air).
Instead of New York’s noisy fights,
His eyes are lit up by neon lights.

Some think the desert is becoming a dump,
‘Cause of the Casino built there by Donald Trump,
But here the cactus stays and does not ramble.
He takes advantage of those who gamble.

He’s wheeling, and dealing, and holding tight,
All though the day and into the night.
So let us give the cactus his due,
When his four Queens beat our lowly two.

Here the cactus has adjusted quite well,
In what preachers may call “the gambling hell”.
At least here the sand does abound,
And other cacti are around.

All are learning to play the game,
And raking in cash, all the same.
So Good Bye to the Big Apple,
Rain and snow.
Hello to the nights of neon glow.

THE END of the Saga of the Lonely Cactus. 
( We love a happy ending!)

Details | Free verse | |

And It Is A..........

I do not know 
What form I write
I only hope
It comes out right

Details | Haiku | |

Clock Poetry

Time ticks and could trick
Could go places unnoticed 
It can kick and trip

Details | Sonnet | |

The Bride

On the wedding
The Bishop co-ordinating
Called in the groom
Only awaiting the bride
Hymns going up in the air
Half hour passed
And yet she is unarrived
"What is delaying you?"
The groom yelled at the Bishop
"Your bride isn't here"
With a dimple from the groom's cheek
Loke side way at his bride
"He has long arrived
I am gay"

Details | Lyric | |


My rhymes are timeless while this time is lifeless
why is life this kind less, reminds me that this
mind is spineless ready to tip and quit, as
my lies become mindless and get swollen shut
and Stuck up inside my sinus
Drivin in my prime but with no optimus
Victim to the flip-side of the Midas
Running through my blood like a virus
The sun makes my skin mundane
rubbin on ben gay but get arthritis
touch spermicide and converts to hepatitis
I hit the plus sign but it just musters up a minus
I'm seen sucking my thumb like the peanut's Linus
I run and duck when I hear the sirens cause
I abducted the president's Nike air pumps
now air force one is trying to find us
I'm at my desk obsessin about success but
This whole time its been right behind us

Details | Limerick | |

Next Thing to Believe

Why do we believe the hype they spread?
Next year they say we all might be dead
This spring all will shut down
Does this bring you a frown?
Rise of gasoline with rise of bread

We seem to believe whatever they say
Why are their words now gospel today
We are losing freedoms
More or less, like kingdoms
We left one of these, for freedom to pray

Let’s see if a rumor I start unfurls
Our new cars will be run by squirrels
Fueled by nuts and acorns
But never peppercorns
Because if you do, the car just twirls

Written for

Sponsor john freeman 
Contest Name Slapstick Limerick Contest 

Details | Rhyme | |

The Rule of Fum

These are a few rules of fum,
For one chum is... fum!
Even if you do smell the blood of an Englishman,
It is impolite to yell fee fie fo... fum!
One must never leave their house looking like a bum,
It is irreprehensible to always be... glum!
One must always choose his mate even over his best chum,
Your bathroom must always be free of... scum!
Ice cream should come in five gallon drums,
Beer bread should be devoured 'til there isnt a... crumb!
One must never smack their gum,
Or stick a pie with their... thumb,
And pull out a... plumb!
When someone says "hither" you must come,
Never stand there just looking... dumb!
If you are to be a florist you must have a green thumb,
And always stay away from the...rum!
These are just a few rules of fum,
So until we meet again... go and have some F.U.M.!

Details | Couplet | |

Scaring Myself

I tiptoe through the darkness as silent as the night,
My ears attuned to any sound, there’s not a soul in sight;

Goosebumps prickle across my skin as panic washes over me,
I hear the slightest noise ahead and I strain my eyes to see;

My uneasy breathing fogs the air as my heart pounds on in dread,
I stand in the black frozen in fear, my feet have turned to lead;

I shiver uncontrollably as I wait in the dark alone,
Terror grips my heart as I prepare to face the unknown;

I’m poised on the balls of my feet ready to bolt into the night,
Then as I’m getting ready to make a dash, my hubby flips on a light!

Details | Rhyme | |

Free Will

Please, free Will
I heard he has been caught
He must be important
They talk about him alot

Are they asking for a ransom
If so, then who will pay
Who are the kidnappers
That have stolen Will away

Now that they have Will
How much will Will cost
Do we have the will to pay
Or has our Will been lost

I can see the headlines
"Can you Free Willy Please"
We'll start with North America
Then campaign overseas

We will raise the money
Will will be free again
Now that he's been paid for
Can our Free Will be maintained

If we all have "Free Will" does that make us the kidnappers????

Details | Free verse | |

Call Me Silly

Call me silly
But I enjoy being on a beach with a good book
Minus the worry about chargers or glares on my screen
It's just me and my handsome hero, his beautiful love 
In that far away land, in the middle of that intricate mess.
And what is the point of a family meal when all you hear now
Are beeps of Berries or tunes of GaGas

Call me silly
But I prefer the pleasures of a snail mail letter 
In comparison with emails, pings and tweets
Instead of worrying about internet connection and hackers, 
I do not need to worry about the internet service provider 
Who can one day take away my precious memories
Just because his terms and conditions says he can

Yes, call me silly 
But these are my memories of love and failure
Peace and turbulence, that will be my gift to my children
The silly letters that my best friend wrote to say 
That he loved me for better or for worse and I believed
Without worrying that he may have another wife
That I will one day find through online Spaces or Books

Call me silly
But even as I am fascinated with the wonders
That the world of social media can give me
I worry more often about how I am misunderstood 
In a world of instant travel and friendship
Where rules do not exist
And when they do, are rarely followed 

Call me silly
But in a world where everything seems so easy
One click, everyone says
We spend so much time on the whole world 
Instead of on those who really need us
In a world where rumours are a trend
And truth is an afterthought

Call me silly
But why do people trust what this online world says
When all it takes is this, 
I have a secret you see, says this person
Let's listen, say another hundred or more
Who cares if its true? Who cares if it hurts?
Simply nobody you see

Yes, call me silly, if you will 
But I think this is exactly, what it means 
When our parents told us
Too much of a good thing
Can actually be a bad thing.

Details | Rhyme | |

Saga of the Lonely Cactus: "The Lonely Cactus in New York City" Third Part

Saga of the Lonely Cactus: "The Lonely Cactus In New York City"  Third Part

by Miriam McCue

The Lonely Cactus in New York City.
He cries ‘cause his life is a pity.
He misses the desert every day.
In New York he does not want to stay.

His tears are so very strong,
So his barrel will not have water in it very long.
The dogs use him for a fire plug.
The street addicts like to give him a slug.

They bother him day and night.
All they ever do is fight.
They scream all night and sometimes day.
The cactus never gets to play.

The police wake him with sirens loud,
This is no place for a cactus proud.
But he hopes and hopes,
And at night he prays,
That someone will come and take him away.

Back to the desert to get some peace,
Away from the junkies and police,
Where the night is so very still and dark,
Three thousand miles from Central Park.

Details | Haiku | |

Pointless Laughter

this is pointless laughter. Ha

Details | I do not know? | |


I RUN from FEAR.



I FIGHT cause of FEAR.

I'm FAR from you.

I'm SCARED cause of you.

You're the FEAR that I HUNT.

You're the FEAR that I FIGHT.

You're the FEAR that SCARED me for LIFE.

*Comment if you have any thought and if you like it. oh and some of the poems i write arn't 
always my feelings. their some times just to get through other people so they can have 
something to read that just fit's them.*


Details | Rhyme | |


What happened yesterday Is in the past, Gone away. What happened tomorrow No-one knows Joy or sorrow. What happened today Tomorrow I will say One thing I am sure Now or when Will always follow What happened then.

Details | Free verse | |

Are You All Right?

I opened my page and said
"What the heck!"
One more of my  poems
Won't make me sick.
I can't speak for you 
So if it does.
Just wait a few minutes 
And a Medical commercial may come on
Just take one and click me off
 And your day may be better off.

Details | Rhyme | |

Bloviatin' Politicians

It ain't no wonder that in this nation consternation and confusion reigns!
From wily politicos from the prez on down we hear the same old refrains!
"I'll see that you git a new sewer system in town if you'll elect me, please!"
"Read my lips!  I'll never raise yer taxes!  I'll simply call 'em fees!"

Congress poured billions into the coffers of Chrysler and General Motors.
Never mind that they went agin the will of millions of American voters!
Behind closed doors Harry and Nancy managed to ravage medical care!
'Tis just a couple of examples of "change" that's left the treasury bare!

The prez can't manage things at home yet he sticks his nose in matters overseas.
Hey! You weren't elected President of the World so stick to domestics please!
Now he's meddlin' in state affairs tellin' 'em how to budget since they're broke.
Seems he has trouble balancin' the federal budget sans blowin' lots of smoke!

'Tis well known that politicians seem to have a congenital proclivity,
For spewin' with fork'ed tongue inane babble with audaciious creativity!
The nuances that they spin and the strange postures that they assume,
Leaves little doubt that poor Mister Webster lies a-spinnin' in his tomb!

Some gullible souls are charmed by what some politicians postulate.
Please spare me, Lord!  I grow weary of hearin' them scoundrels bloviate!
Alas, they remind me of a catfish - they're all mouth with very little brains!
It ain't no wonder that in this nation consternation and confusion reigns!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Details | Free verse | |

Heaven's Doorway

The most beautiful, the realm beyond imagination
the end of your mortality, the judging of your soul.
Today I stood in heaven's doorway to face God's verdict,
I've never imagined, I'm still young, too young.

I have so many dreams not yet fulfilled 
but there's a feeling, peace and comfort I can't resist
I see happiness without end, love without envy,
life without hatred, God eternity.

I look back, my family, friends and enemies I saw
I felt lonely and discontented without their forgiveness
suddenly I hear voices.."One more step and be with us".
Minutes and hours passed, I decided to take that step..


then I woke..heard chattering, laughing, my siblings arrived,
So glorious, it's going to be fun...Oh If I take that step I will be dead by now!

Details | Clerihew | |

Those Darn Voices Again

I say, “Would you turn off that radio please?
I’m trying to rest and put my mind at ease.”
The doctor says, “Honey, the radio isn’t on, it’s the voices in your head.
Now get some sleep and go to bed."

Details | Rhyme | |

Drippity drip drip

Take me there I don't care Touch my hair Eat this pear!!! I am bare Want to share? Do you care? I am bear I'll let you stare Don't go there By the chair Or on that stair? Your skin is fair You look like Cher Come to my lair But pay my fare Drippity drip drip

Details | Light Poetry | |


 Very nice, aren't they 
 How I love peanuts 
 Oh! They are just peas 
 OK, OK, I am nuts

Details | Rhyme | |


My glass is made of plastic,
My chilli's rather hot,
So why do people name things
After things they're clearly not?

Details | Rhyme | |

the rabbit -part two-

(literary nonsense)
quite early in the morrow i felt the sun warm me to the marrow and the light of it eased sorrow which had clouded up my brain
and i harked back to last night where i sat and mulled my plight when a rabbit said delight was brought by lanterns, in the rain
and infused in my poor brain was the thought i was insane

how is a lantern a delight? but if you carry it in night, it chases away the things which fright, ah! the lantern is a light
though the flame from which it comes is never known to come from sun, it's a light, if ever one has seen one in the night
and i stretched myself so slight and knocked over this said light

and it was i had forgotten that the lantern still was burning and inside my stomach churning as i watched the flames arise
and a rabbit softly spoken hopped my way and laid his token though it wasn't so a token as i'd thought when first that night
as i panicked this demise, the grass burning 'fore my eyes

still the rabbit stood there stately, thumped his foot, did not berate me, but said another, lately, as I tried to stomp the fire
and i listened to him speaking, and the words that he was saying, and i couldn't help but fraying all the edges of my temper
for he said without a whisper, a thing which made my fury blister: "water is a great delight"

Details | Blank verse | |

My Country Ties Of Thee


My Country was Born
In the Heat of BATTLE
    Over a Cup of Tea'
   In the city of Boston
              And then,
They brought in Coffee
          -- Fore ---
A country of this Magnitude
    Would never again'
         Sleep at Night


Details | Rhyme | |


There are fairies at the bottom of my garden I told the woman next door. They are cute, they are small They come when I call. I leave food out for them at night. There are fairies at the bottom of my garden I told the men in white. They are pink, they are green They like strawberries and cream. I watch them dance around fires at night There are fairies at the bottom of my garden I told the walls in my cell. They are gentle, they are meek, They play hide and seek. Their voices stay with me at night. There were fairies at the bottom of my garden I told my other self. They were soft they were sweet, They visited me as a treat. And I ate them for supper last night!

Details | Limerick | |

Contempt of Court

A lawyer once said, he could get me free.
No trial held, just a hearing you see
A traffic ticket was all.
My lawyer, so very small.
Not seen by judge, contempt of court, jailed me.

Details | Burlesque | |

Waiter, There's a Fly In My Soup!!!

Fly in the ointment,
I've heard said,
Flies will use you for
food, when you're dead
But a fly in the soup?
Which one of you??
How'd you get in somehow?
What did you do?

These rhetorical questions,
do not require answer,
But one thing does, for sure....
Just how did a zipper get in
my chicken noodle?
This question I do implore

My lips are torn,
my faith in Campbell's shot,
this is one thing,
to predict, I had a chance not

Details | Free verse | |



Details | Free verse | |


Crazy how when one problem is solved,
Another one arises,
When one thing is lost,
we find another one,
When we give up
someone else moves up,
When we think its the end of the road,
the journey has just began.

Crazy how when one stops hurting,
worry wants to take over,
When we are down and crushed to dust,
freedom calls, wanting to sweep you away like the wind.
Crazy how when i cry,
I realize am normal,
I have emotions and tears.

Funny how When my life is out of control,
When am broken and hurt,
Scared, thinking that this crazy world,
Is going to bring me down,
i find a reason to smile

Details | Verse | |

Pink Slime

Pink Slime, Pesticides
And chicken thighs bigger than my thighs

And we wonder why there is an increase
in learning disabilities among children today 
I say it’s because the process, that the food is processed and grown and raised, is
compromised by demand, money, greed or fame. 
I do understand that demand is high 
so we have to do somethin’

So to compete, we inject hormones into the very animal or plant that is sold for consumption
So now we eat these hormones and our bodies are stressed because of the added pesticides and  herbicides and other sh#! that’s hard to digest  

I mean what’s really the cause?
There’s more kids with disabilities today than there ever was  
I say it’s because like the story is told in the verses, that knowledge is increasing in man and the result is not what He purposed. 

Pink Slime and Pesticides..We’re eating stuff that’s been chemically grown inside…and chickens bigger than my thighs

Details | Free verse | |

Along The Walkway

Along the walkway somewhere lilacs scent And visions of grandeur waft betwixt my head A “Hmm” after each new-ward notion, then Like thistles, keep slipping through the cracks of zen Why Campanula ringing out Disturbed by the sounds unrenounced Then I stop again, in an “ah ha!” revelation Followed by the “No wait, that's not quite it” aggravation When from on high, a mighty oak hits me on the acorn “Oooh” suddenly things seem clearer more and more And looking down I can't ignore the facts Of my "that's it" underwear and my "oh no!" pants

Details | Cowboy | |

guitar band dementia

camera three is having 
an existential crisis; 
his long languid lens 
has suffered in silence, 
an impotent shard of 
quixotic resistance, 
for his vision won’t 
focus on faecal injustice, 

camera three is having 
an existential crisis; 
mascots, despots, 
or other devices,
just won’t solve the problem,
or even negate, 
this delicate time 
in his delicate state,

camera three is having 
an existential crisis; 
Osiris, Anubis, Oasis and Isis, 
have all shed the skin of 
guitar band dementia, 
wheeling out wisdom 
for the fear of inertia,
camera three is having 
an existential crisis…

Details | Senryu | |


call again
the "same ol', same ol' " galore
call ignored

Details | Free verse | |

if there's no

if there's no heaven,
there would be no hell.
if there's no hell,
there would be no bloody fear.

if there's no war,
there would be no peace.
if there's no peace,
how could you actually live.

if there's no women,
there would be no men.
if there's no men,
how could there be women.

if there's no hate,
there would be no love.
if there's no love,
everything would be hopeless.

if there's no money,
there would be no honey.
it there's no honey,
everyone would be lonely.

if there's no rich,
there would be no poor.
if there's no poor,
almighty gets bore.

if there's no lifes,
there would be no smiles.
and if there's no smiles,
how could be there happiness and joys.

Details | Free verse | |

The Saga of the Lonely Cactus: Introduction of characters. First Part

The “Saga” of the Lonely Cactus 

by Miriam McCue

Characters in order of appearance:

Lonely Cactus: He is a  6 foot Saguaro cactus with two arms (kind that looks like a man from 
a distance.)    (In real life these cacti have to be around 75 years old to get an arm.) 

Kieran - My granddaughter

Aunt Mikey - My youngest daughter

Alphabet City - Part of the Lower East Side of NYC

Desert - This refers to desert surrounding Phoenix AZ

Manhattan - Name for the island of NYC, not including Brooklyn, Queens, etc.

Super - Nickname for the superintendent of a tenement or apartment building.

Assorted city street characters - Anonymous

Greenwich Village - West of the Lower East Side NYC

Lower East Side - Part of NYC ( name of it describes where it is)

Alphabet City - Part of the Lower East Side of NYC
Assorted city street characters -  Anonymous

Central Park -  Large man-made park in Center of NYC

  Big Apple -  Nickname for NYC

   U.P.S - A delivery service (In poem pronounced by letters, no as “up sss” )	

   Casino - We all know what that is.

Donald Trump - Famous prominent  business man

Details | I do not know? | |


There are too many people whose favorite trick,
Is to preach, "Walk softly and carry a big stick." 
But, in practice, they arrogantly sing Yankee Doodle
And stomp around loudly, but carry a wet noodle

Details | Blank verse | |





Details | Terza Rima | |

My Whatcha ma call it

Has anyone seen my ding a ling? 
You wouldn’t dare ask “what is it”.
I will just say it’s the cutest thing.

It must be a cousin of my widget,
about which my wife often digs.
It hasn’t a name, only a digit.

I also have some thing-a-ma-jigs
that attach to fishing lures, you know.
My heart sings making world famous rigs.

While pointing my do hickey just so
I turn on my color gizmo, git go.

© May 21 2010 For Catie’s “Beautiful Form” contest

Details | Rhyme | |

Will you ever be a poet

Did you ever have a lover
with long red hair?
For long red hair
seems too unfair.

Did you ever have a lover
and then another lover?
For there's added gain
if you feel no pain.

Did you ever have a lover
who loved your eyes
and never ever lied,
and let you cry?
Whatever was the trouble.

You'll never have a lover.
if you have no time for others
for love needs care,
say,what is here.

Here and there are many lovely people
who live with their lives with scruples;
if you're scruple free,
then let it be.

Oh,let it be is fine,
Except for the divine.
I want to be involved
For I can't please all the folk,
Who touch me with their talk.
My heart has melted down...
and now I've grown a world
completely on my own.

Were you ever quite alone
Like a toad under a stone?
Did you ever hear a groan
as you wrote your poem?

For you'll never write a poem
that makes me laugh..
Because my feet are in the shower
but my body's in the bath.
My head is on the shelf...
and I've lost all of my teeth...
Yet you will love me
What allure!
so clear..

Evermore and evermore
You'll be standing on the shore
Watching the horizon,
wondering what she lies on.

Oh,you'll never be a poet,
Unless you learn your notes..
They take you to the limit.....
Love.whatever is it?

Evermore ,evermore...
The words seem like a roar...
I love your heart's deep core.
Ever more and ever more.

Details | Dramatic monologue | |


The world is a perplexing place
So much beauty and so much evil all tied into one
I started having fun when I was way too young 
I’ve walked down both sides of the tracks
The adrenaline rush was like smoking crack  
Being naive and carefree I thought I was living the ideal life
By the time I was fifteen I had experienced it all
Sometimes I managed to pull myself up
However temptation was too great, despite knowing the toll
I felt like I had lost my soul
I didn’t realize I was just being used and abused
I used to think I was being cool, but now I realize I was surrounded by a bunch of dumb
ass fools
People I thought were my friends all did me wrong in the end
I put my trust into the wrong hands and then one day reality struck
I found myself stuck
I learned the hard way
I literally found myself fighting for my life and ended up being taught the strength
The strength I had within myself all of these days
I refuse to live in fear
That’s when I decided to change my ways
I was forced to grow up way to young
My life had been like one disastrous play
I took back control in every plausible way
I could no longer kick and scream
For I was done living in this catastrophic dream
It was my fight to fight and it was all up to me
There are no magic pills, no quick fixes
Only I could choose to remain a victim
I get upset if anyone takes pity, even though a few years were extremely gritty
I found my inner strength on my own, even when the stress makes me feel like I am about to
Like a erasing the scarlet letter I shall no longer where that frown
I chose to let myself be free
Knowing I am the only one who holds the key
The key to unlock and release myself from the pain
Now everyday is like a surprise
I see the world through a fresh pair of eyes
I take advantage of that as much as I can
I try to look for the beauty and pureness everywhere I turn
I would not let myself be tainted from the past
Life passes by so fast
Forget the scary things I have done, for in a moment you can be gone
Take that leap of faith and wear a smile upon your face

Details | Alliteration | |


Strolling southern seashore in mists of September
searching for something set to stay,
her mind that meanders,
remarkable meters,
perplexing the phantoms at play.

Voices validating vague vagrant vocations
of poetry placed in parade,
with words waged in warring,
warning of the wheighman,
who knew you had dues left unpaid.

Before the seashore became her domain,
she’d wandered the wayside of pain,
locked in psychotic box
Doctor’s ticking clocks,
saying drain her poor brain once again.

Prefer sleep on the street keep her beat from defeat
she found sound vocation once more,
tourist response sterling,
shape sand to her seeing,
she sells sea shells, by the sea shore.

Details | Light Poetry | |

You Turned Me Into Eggs Again

It's like your scrambling my brain in a skillet
 I can't tell what you said and I am left with no wit
When you start talking everything gets hot
 Everything gets blurry, I can't say if what I heard is right or not
The sizzle of the butter as it melts down in the pan
 The pressure rises as butters browning, now do understand
There go my nerves as the egg cracks making a sound
 There goes my heart as the edibles fall out
When you loose me again as the egg and whisk go round
 Here I am again as the omelet takes it's route

Details | Prose Poetry | |

Listen Kristin

Just go to search. memb er poetry. "Bad Day at the Eye Doctor's" and it will pop 
This is a true tale, and one of my dumbest stunts.

Details | Burlesque | |

How to Tell You're In Redneck Country

When wealth is determined by the number of guns one owns.
When a wedding party is a family barbeque, and the wife needn't change last 
When only the very richest owns a bathroom.
Where soap has yet to be discovered.
Where squirrel brains is a main course.
Where your doctor wears a plaid shirt.
Where teeth are rarer than diamonds.
Where coon-skin caps are fashionable.
Where the one room school is underused.
Where the smartest people study comic books.
Where your dad is also your uncle.
Where a woman shaving her legs is a waste of razors.
Where the closest thing to a car is a mule named Sarah.
Where night-crawler worms are considered a snack food.
Where people still wonder who will win the Civil War.
Where television is the technology of the future.
Where everyone knows the earth is flat.
Where the moon is still thought to be made of cheese.
Where medicine is dispensed from a wagon.
Where that medicine is always Dr. Dermatosis's Magic Elixir.
Where the postman makes a yearly visit, and wonders why.
Where Tom's Tidbits is considered scholarly literature.
Where English muffins are considered foreign food.
Where English muffins are described as having "Crooks and Nannies".
Where no one knows what a "nanny" is, anyway.
Where Spike Jones is the romantic crooner.

Details | Burlesque | |

howe 2 finde Gawd

I be frum brooklin
And I bee edumacatid reel goode
En iff uz wanna bee sefistikated lic mee
end Gawd weil bee wit uz
en ween u finde Hiem
asc Him 2 drope buy me's.

Details | Free verse | |

It Is What It Is -Tell Me No Lies-

I'll ask no questions -
You're the less is more kind,
But I'm clearly confused,
And seeing I'm blind
To what  you don't say,
The next time now,
You're going to stay?
You were wrong
When you left right?
If I remember to forget,
And agree not to fight,
Hey! while the sun shines there,
Or whatever the stormy weather
As long as its fair,
We can be alone together?

Details | Alliteration | |


I was born in Babylon
Everyday I want to be alone
I prayed not to get low
Everyday Babylon claim more soul
I just have to go, seek for more show
I grow with no shoes under my foots
Ganger is my food, 
Mosquitoes sing the reggae allover my room 
Webs block my views, killing my crews
What can I do to survive when am buzz

Where is that place to get crazy?
That place you cannot erase,
That camp with more space,
Where you don’t have to get late
That place where you just want to be free from
“Babylon” Babylon” Babylon…I want to be free

If there is a question, it should be about relation
My action will generate your reaction
Is substitution the way to be free from Babylon?
The game is always ON, grow horns like Capricorn
Cut the vegetables; let’s be able to be stable

Details | Rhyme | |

The Saga of the Lonely Cactus: "A Present from Kieran" Second Part

Saga of the Lonely Cactus  

Part 2:     A Present from Kieran

by Miriam McCue	

A present from Kieran came one day,
To Aunt Mikey in Alphabet City, so far away.
It was a cactus from the desert forlorn,
Complete with a red bow stuck on his thorn.

He arrived with a note which did say,
“I came to keep you company today.
I was restless in the desert.
And did want to roam.
So Kieran sent me to Manhattan,
Far away from home.”

Mikey then stated, “This is really great!
Now I’ll not be alone, early nor late.
I’ll go get the Super to help take you upstairs”
An then she ran up, unawares.

Along came a wino with a shopping cart,
He stole the cactus to pawn it, 
At the Greenwich Village Mart.
He stumbled and mumbled,
“First, I think,
I’ll go and find a good stiff drink.

He pulled up the cart and put the cactus inside, 
And took the scared plant to the Lower East Side.
It was strange and scary.
It fill the cactus with fear.
He cried, “I’m sorry I left the desert for here!

I want to go back to my home far away,
In fact, I want to leave TODAY !

(To be continued)

Details | Free verse | |

A Difference

We can make a difference

We can wallow in the feat
Where all souls meet
At the foot of the world by which to greet
In bitter silence to its door chime ring,

One can easily take heart or to what would sing;

From shadows glook of its tormented swoon
It would be at the addage of its peril
A safe place to emancipate,
The soul was erected by pious chimes;

In tombs tortured with flagrant rhymes/ Through a misfortune illumined amidst/ Shattered glass stained by bias accalades/ We can make a difference/ Fresh out of our store bought routine/ Out of curtains unleashed to swallow/ The world is filled with ghosts & demons/ Shaped by the imaginative solace screaming/ We can make a difference/ The trunk on the trees on which all branches grow/ The pen on the ink to make messages flow/We can make a difference/ With parts uncertain yet attainable/ Create/ The notion of a bridge of hope/ It's gap loosens for passengers to cross/ Reason must be supplimented by our creative imaginative & faith/ Reason is itself an act of faith!

Totals 28 lines/ 182 Word Count

Details | Light Poetry | |

What Just Happen to My Spring

I looked out side to find a nice day in the month of May
And was walking in the evening just to say
I almost cried and my hands got cold
And winter month got so bold
It was so frustrating and out of the norm
And each person in their heart had a storm
It's the month of May what the! happen to spring
And my headache began to ring
Most people on the first day of May was so happy
And now they look out on the second day sappy
I just want everyone to know it is May 2, 2013
And nothing should be in between
So pullout your snow shovels in dismay
And things you should know will be okay
So good morning to all and to all a good morning
And I just want you to be out their in a warning
The snow is at six inches and beyond
And you will not see green grass in dawn
I help myself by writing this poem
And I will be staying at home
Crazy the weather became bad in May and nasty
I brought out some of my snack and that was tasty
I just looked outside while I was eating
As the snow kept on beating

Details | Sonnet | |

Gone Too Far

That’s not my elephant, officer, though she is pink.
She is right in front of your vehicle sir, I think.
Not too big, but not too small, her name is Ella.
I would say she likes to carry her pink umbrella.
I bet those second graders can see her just fine.
Yes, officer, I bet that they never drank any wine.
So to say, she is not there, will start some fights.
So remember that my faith is in the bill of rights.
She dances so fine around, around over the lot.
Upon tips of her toes, she cannot smoke pot.
However, she can eat spaghetti, with meatballs hot,
She loves to slurp, and swing the noodles in trot.
Don’t you see her now, over on top of that car?
Well, sir, you’re under arrest, you’ve gone too far.

Written for

Sponsor Matt Caliri 
Contest Name That's Not My Elephant 

Details | Rhyme | |

It's an Island ting

In the Islands day talk like you sing
don't know till ya been dar tiz an Island-ting
take two jig-um-ups tiz coke to fly
gave me shots of rum with coke on the side

smell dim gon-ja blown to day breeze
it be I-ree make day eyes chineese
you'z bee'z lookin like day rasta man
I past out with my face in the sand

I don't know why, I'll let you call it
I woke up 6 hours later without my walllet
so goto day Islands it's fun taz hear dim sings
just don't go do-zin dim wrong Island-tings

by Capt. Mike

ps yaz knows dim crabs bee'z taken yaz wallet Cap-pin Mikes
 Yes mon but you stick around and hears another story if yaz likes

Details | Classicism | |

I got haters

i realky hate my life and all the fake people in it                                                                                                 People are hella fake just a bunch of haters trying to see the drama they can create thats exactly why i wana get out of this state because im surrounded a bunch fakes who hate                                                       
People always got to talk down just like cowards they do it when im not around.No matter what I do someone always has something to say and me and my buisness people talk about every single day thats what makes me wanna just get away Cowards and fakes are what they are I shine like a star why there over there hating and wont make it far.

Details | Verse | |

Taking A Magic Carpet Ride

Come one come all hurry do not hide
 I want you to come along on a magic carpet ride
 Cap in hand, sit don't stand
 We'll whisk away to our favorite land
Andrea Dietrich sit for a spell
 I will tell you now my magic tale
 Of days of adventure on foreign sands
 Left in wonder to what is at hand
Open our imaginations and figure out how to steer
 And then how to fly this rug or buy some beer

Ruth Courtney- Magic Carpet Ride Contest

Details | Free verse | |

Candy Roses

Imagine red... A bed, of candy roses Deeper still Into a thicket of thorns Further, crimson In a sea of lipstick kisses Or adorned... By a nest of word stung hornets All relies on the side she wakes One slight, midnight miscalculation Sets my day off and into dire straits

Details | Blank verse | |

Horny Toad On A Lonely Road

She came across a bend
On a lonely road.
She walked upon some little rocks
And found a horny toad.
She cried as her heart then broke
cause that little toad there died.
She couldn't understand,
confused she stood and sighed.
That little horny toad
never moved or moaned at all.
As she stood there and stared,
not believing in that there she saw.
She wondered why she stumbled
on that little horny toad.
Where that toad there then died,
here upon a lonely road.

Details | Free verse | |

walk away

If I told you that I cry when we argue
You'd probably say its time for you to leave
You'd say I care to much and I want more
Than what you can give me.
But I'm not asking for anything.
I just want you near me.
I want to be honest 
But you have to stop
Threatening to walk away
If you were gonna walk
Away you wouldn't have let me stay
Something in both of us is not finished yet
I don't know how long this will last
All I know is that I'm not done yet.

Details | I do not know? | |

Me, Myself and I

I had a conversation today
And I really can’t tell you why
It was just between the three of us
Just Me, Myself and I

I asked the question to Me and Myself
About what I can not say
The answer that Me and Myself gave
I was wandering about all day

I and Me once said to Myself
“How ridiculous you do sound”
I talks to Me and Me to Myself
We’re the craziest people around!

During this conversation today
One thing I did find out why
How the three of us could have such a good chat
With just Me, Myself and I.

Details | Acrostic | |

The Talk

The Talk


"The Talk:",
 He hesitated, 
 Interested in
 During different, developmental 
(Assurances are always awkward;
 Nothing new.)
 Dad dodged    
"The Talk" 'til I turned twenty two.
 He honestly
 Bewilderment by
 Even though everybody knows, each infant grows in a secret station
 So its strong enough for the long aviation of being taken, by delivery stork, to it's home.

(This poem was written specifically for Carol Brown's "The Birds and the Bees" poetry

Details | Free verse | |

Kings Queens

Those who claim to be in the know?

These are the one's on sifted sand,
Through days filled with both anger & pain
When will we understand?
When quaint desolation sets in;

Kings & Queens of the Earth...

On a vast pilgrimage in truth;
We then make plans for tomorrow amidst the given sorrow
Yet one can so easily see...
Through a lone blade of grass to flee

To then react in bitter torn silence

In solemn vows yet taken amidst
Shades of grass yet torn asunder
Some even bother to kiss?
That very day they were actually born

Let us continue to be kind today

Amidst a broadened populace that has simply gone astray
To stay attached as fruit is on the vine
A mighty path created by a great design
Through inner pain & misery;

Although amidst divers path drifting as in mockery

Kings & queens of the Earth,
Now is the time to stop lifting up your skirt!

Details | Free verse | |

Hail to the Dragon Slayers

We know we are right and we will fight
If you dare appose us we will bite
When good doers think they have a chance
We take their idea and we do the dance
We are the law that makes the choice
And no one can keep their face in a good poise
Because we will smack them with a hammer
As we see them we will make them stammer
Just because we are justice
And we try to do some odd practice
Now we will get back on track
We the people take charge and attack
Wait, what are we attacking? the people that are not right
Oh! thats just my brothers and sisters oh! they are a sight
Now look here, we, we the people makes laws
It doesn't matter how many people open their jaws
I'm all confused, we are the people, did we not choose?
We are, but certain people are just to loose

Fine, this is what the new law we want to appose
Why? because we are confused about what we chose
Using we as a word is to many
It takes all of us even granny
So this is what we want to do, is put I and you separate
And the other that we are to choose to elaborate
I am going to say this, we are to many individuals
So we separate the ones who are good doers
That does not make sense
To put all the yous and I's in a group, it's just dense
Are you with me? no I am with myself in this
I am going to rub it in your face and be in a bliss
So I will do the justice myself, and you has decide to disobey
This is what I mean to do, and it will be O.K.
Debating myself is some what kinda weird
You need to be by my side because we make choices better
So this time you and I will just make justice a letter

The clue is what we do that is some what true
It's funny when words play a game to argue the virtue
When I mean I, I mean I, and when I say you, it is you
When I say we, it is us, and that is what my argument is all about, too.
Fifty, fifty is what the Dragon Slayer is saying, it becomes no greater nor smaller
We are all at fault and our decisions that we have made is for all of us to stand taller
Even when it is wrong and we do things to put down the strong
And our arguments become pointless and long
Our justice is when we started to put it on paper and making it a law that stand
So all of us, in the long run will simply decide to band

Details | Dramatic monologue | |

My Minds Eye, while looking thru a monacle

I need to find out what it all means,
so I searched for the truth in my dreams,
illusions of a shattered reality, unwoven at its seams.
All of life's cohesion, a plan or just by chance,
the gravity enabling this universal dance,
it all seems to run just like clockwork,
makes me wonder whether it might be Gods work?
So I looked through my minds eye, while I was wearing a monacle,
it really did make this world look..well, rather comical,
the distortions of vision were astronomical!
Atomic particles at a most basic level, I saw God, I fought the Devil!
The smallest atoms you can find, the Higgs Boson and strings that bind, 
I even watched as expansion hit rewind!
We're taking leaps out into space, huge accomplishment of the human race,
our solar system we've had a taste, further and deeper, how do you operate?
We'll one day finds Earth's new home, maybe under a giant dome,
or in a galactic ice cream cone? All the stardust that makes my bone.
Northern lights, just a jewel on my throne,
though science says 'it's just ozone'
have your ideas because their your own,
don't allow your mind to be overthrown,
things got hazy, or my mind got lazy,
so I took my rag and I buffed my lens,
it feels like I am bathing in pure cleanse!
Or i'm finally round the bend?
Will my head ever truly mend??
For when your balls knocked over the Wonderwall,
all kinds of delight, short or tall, await those who stumble across that garden,
you'll rub your eyes and pinch your skin, What? Hey? Pardon!
I have a sea view over all eternity, the 1000 you's, the countless me's
Life graces the universe, like a play well rehearsed,
starts with a nurse and ends in a hearse,
after the big rip, it's all in reverse!

Details | ABC | |

Crazy World

Crazy World

It’s funny how
The universities are still in business
Of producing graduates
That speak funny English
And hardly make invention
And the stock market falls
Down street tumbles
That lets people buy
And make profit
Like grandpa used to say,
True intellectualism died
In the year 1929
With the rise in acumen inflation
It was then that
This Federal Reserve of Ignorance
The true villain of this quandary
Traces its genesis
Hope that explains succinct
This universal impotence

Details | Free verse | |


Anguish taunts through a barbed wire fence with edged grasp

Actions in which human beings rebel against a holy God
Miss their purpose for their lives
Surrender to the prince of the power of the air more then God
Cause  all of their deeds were evil!

An eclipse of the sun had tainted my inner vision
Push back the pain with radiant guide
Does this notion in thought come at any big surprise?

Weak willed tyrants from the flood of dispinsation
Shattered fragments loosed in gloom climatic abrasion
Parts unknown from the setting of the sun

Leading gullible women captive under the false cloak of compromise
Abortion on demand
When will they ever understand?

Blood shed in our streets
Evil tyrants from elected officials overly prideful taunt & pull!
We each our responsible for our actions before a holy God

Details | Free verse | |

What Would They Say

There is no one left for explain-tion…
They are all gone,
The violent end has come…
Revving up since realization,
Of the abstract. 


Hope. Another one-
Love, yet another-
Space well there’s a fact.

So how do we…decide?
On the dot of midnight demised.

Quasar, no, galaxy 
Red-blue. Maybe the work of a gypsy. 

AGGressive-ly  dealt with-
In order to paint wilted whispers.

Van Gogh would be proud!
Of this wonder we allowed to be unplowed-

Ab st ract. Abst raction.

Details | Burlesque | |

He Who Depends on Extenze

A miracle pill
Makes "that certain part of a male body"
Much bigger...
This commercial the trigger
For 100 million sales
And it never fails

So ol' tom sent for some,
Not that he had any prospect
Of needing such a miracle
Just curious, you might say

And lo and behold,
After the very first day...
My big toe was 18 inches long
No shoe could I get on

So if you believe these claims
Remember what some are
The secret's in the RX27 fiber technology
And they go so far 
To back up their claims
With goobley-gook
Buy this spoon, you'll be a cook!

They treat us as morons,
Well, perhaps they're right
But must I endure this drivel
Day and night?

Makes me laugh, that's true
But then again,
You probably want to see
What they can do.

Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

time gentlemen please

  What caused and made me try this cryptic voice
  Did I or did I not have any choice
  is Time so cruel to teasingly disgrace
  The weaponry I choose to seal my fate
  Silence is so easy to embrace and use
  I could yet stay a shy reclusive muse
  If not for this my desperate attempt
  at words of rhymed intention
  Alas Alack  this stolen  time
  I'd saved to spend
  in quiet contemplation

Details | Verse | |

Socks, Shoes and Glasses

The joy of finding something whole is truly quite fulfilling,
But when your socks are full of holes it really is quite chilling.
I'd like to tell you what I found! I'm sure you are aware!
Forty socks in my drawer and not one of them a pair!

I'm looking for my shoes, I left them on the mat,
Only a couple of feet from my coat and hat.
I dozed off for a moment, on awakening they had gone:
I wondered if they'd wandered far, or who had put them on?

My glasses have a habit of playing dirty tricks!
They vanished in the garden while on a pile of bricks.
They've turned up in a taxi and were discovered on a train;
But how do I get them back, from that very fast flying plane?

Details | Haiku | |


While doing sit-ups,
My big, arrogant brother stomps on my feet
“That burns my feet, bro!!”

While in recital, My oldest brother motions to stop clapping …My hands are red, bro…

Details | Light Poetry | |

Fluster with Humor

I woke up this morning with hair spiking 
With a comb I tried to comb it down
It was so frustrating and not very striking
With odd looking expressions I felt like a clown

So today I sat down on my chair 
This will be the time of day
With gel in my hand I declare
I will put my hair down if it will stay

I was joking to myself so fluster I was
My hair did not stay down instead
The gel so sticky I stop because
I was in a panic I almost had tear shed

This morning I felt so confused 
Even my cloths did not match
I almost blew my fuse
Because today I hit a patch

I finally got my hair to stay down in a way
With a smile I put a hat this will be O.K.

Fluster with Humor (3-29-13)
By: Reynaldo L. Mast 

Details | Rhyme | |


Smilingly some say ‘no’
Angrily some say ‘no’
Very easily some say ‘no’.
So not many hesitate to say ‘no’.
So the word 'no'
Even if truly uttered
Or pretending mattered.
 ‘No’ can be a canopy.
Or used as an analogy.
Used sometimes to distortedly stop.
And sometimes used for being at top.
“No” is a sweet word.
It is seldom absurd.
When heard it may be disappointing.
Sometimes very annoying
'No' is usually said boldly
Suddenly, and profoundly…

Details | Free verse | |


Banana me banana you
that make banana two 
what a pair of bananas we are 
this pair of bananas will go far 

Details | Free verse | |

Language Barricade

On the community blog
I met this spaniad
Hi! Was the reply I got
Her profile captivating
My desire sprouted
What a beauty you are
An unspeakable clusters of letters displayed on my screen
What do you mean?
Hoping it was a mistake
But after repetition
I realised the boundary
We understood not ourselves
How I hope for a new lingua tongue
My heart wept
I couldn't express my love
To the one my heart draws to

Poem written by me; Olorunsogo David

Details | Rhyme | |

Saga of the Lonely Cactus: "The Return of the Cactus" Fourth Part

Saga of the Lonely Cactus: “The Return of the Cactus” Part Four

Aunt Mikey searched the Big Apple far and wide,
‘Till she found the Lonely Cactus on the Lower East Side.
“Oh, Cactus, I’m sorry this happened to you,
But I know just what to do.”

“I see you are homesick, 
No more, no less.
I’ll pick up my cell and call U.P.S.
They go to the desert on their 
Regular route.
They’ll send you to Kieran,
Without a doubt.”

Kieran waited and waited for many awhiles,
‘Till the U.P.S. truck delivered the cactus all smiles.
“Oh, Cactus,” said Kieran with a joyful sob.
“I think what you need is an interesting job.”

“Over the hill and behind the stone hump.
Is a casino being built by Donald Trump.
The Donald told me he would hire a cactus like you,
Who knows how to deal the one and the two.”

“He needs cacti who are smart and cacti who are able,
To deal with the tourists at the blackjack table.
Poker and Keno are also his game.
I’ll miss you,
But it is best you go just the same.”

Details | Ballad | |


Laugh when you cry
Dance when you mourn
Fight when you make peace
Fly when you can’t jump
Call a fool Solomon
Put on your clothes when you take a shower
Work and never ask for your wages
How about planning to steal from a police station
A monkey and an angel getting married
What about saying thank you to an atm machine after dispensing you cash
Imagine an elephant falling in love
And a bamboo tree dancing
It’s a crazy world
Even mental people rule over countries
A world where the foolish rule over the wise
Isn’t it funny how intelligent people become servants to the supposedly never do wells
Why do good girls love bad boys?
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Some bad people even live longer than good ones
Messy divorces leave you wondering if there was ever love
Crazy when you see a husband beating a wife almost to death 
Again I wonder why getting married
Gosh why bother
Take a stroll
I assure you there is plenty madness everywhere
It’s called the upside down world.

Details | Free verse | |

Have You Ever Loved Someone So Much You'd Cut An Arm Off For Them

Literally cut off an arm for them
                 shrivelling white bone protruding, screaming from the pale flesh
The ultimate expression of honey, darling, sweetheart
   and wonder.
Floating like cannonballs, just dying
 batteries. No more  struggling, flailing legs.
Excitedly scribbling next to me 
   a feeling like jeans upon your touch    or fresh toast
crisp yet damp.
  I’d just like to shake you. Rattle the bones beneath your
skull, maybe even kill a few brain cells if I feel like it 
   and where have they taken you, claiming you
but not my legs and arms. Perhaps I do not wonder enough 

Dangling on the edge of the world,
You do not forsake those offering solace
   Rather you slice and cut until the edge of the world ends 
And becomes your very own playground.
 Then you need not worry,
   but had better bloody worry.
After all it’s what makes you, and us, human. 

Details | Lanterne | |

Movie Something To Talk About

Said, " you
First". dipped in
Chantilly Cream

(Last scene from movie
she was afraid to eat the
Chantilly Cream first.)

Details | I do not know? | |


face book: a place were friends gather
facebook: to catch up on the old days
face book: were some just come to play games
face book: a place to destroy anothers life

face book: a story waiting to unfold
face book: relationship getting out of control
face book : a place filled with head games
face book: a place to chat and flirt

face book: a place to meet new folks
face book: a place that offers nothing at all
face book:a place you can make another smile
face book: a place trying to knock myspace out

face book: a place that has a million souls
face book: a place were every one is smart
face book: a place were nothing goes cold
face book: a place that rips loved ones apart

face book: a place to unite
face book: a place to spread gossip
face book: a place that takes you around the world
face book: a place that cost nothing to use

face book: a place that steals life away
face book: a place were people play jokes
face book: a place to share a secret note
face book: a place that every body knows

face book: a nightmare on hold
face book: a place were there is a million post
face book: a place that i no longer go
face book:a place that has grown old

face book: is just face book
face book: not a place to end a freindship
face book: not a place to have a family problem shown
face book: a land filled with endless torture

face book: not some thing i want my children on
face book:to have their lives ruined
face book: not some thing that matters
face book: some call it home or their fave

Details | Nonet | |


Geometry's so complicated
It is somewhat overrated.
Parallelograms amuse,
Trapeziums confuse,
But if you dangle 
This triangle,
I bet you’ll
get the

Details | I do not know? | |

Consumation of a suicidal fantasy

I can't find the sleeping pills tonight.
So, I try to swallow a bottle of vitamins,
But they are so big that I might choke,
And I'm afraid to die.

Every ledge is a spring-board to paradise,
Or a path straight to hell.
Either way, I'm afraid of heights,
And I'm afraid to die.

The end is the edge of a razor blade,
I'm in hot water and, I think of cutting.
But I hate blood and blood clots,
And I'm afraid to die.

I find some rope.
I go to the cellar and hang myself
But, I guess the ceiling isn't high enough,
And I'm afraid to die.

On the platform I wait for a ride to nowhere,
The solution is under the speeding train.
But I stop thinking because I'm scared --
And I'm afraid to die.

Either way, I am a coward:
Too scared to live,
Too scared to die.
But in my dreams I am a hero
Whose death seems to faze all,
But affect none.

Details | I do not know? | |

oh, dont mind me

a small cased letter no punctuation or full stops just endless continuation of something that exists no meaning no reason just average evolution for those of us that live by the tick and not the tock patiently waiting side line suvaying cheering on the big boys passing our turn so sign my name on the dotted line no need to cross the t it's better if you just leave it there like the world has left me yes there's no use debating arguing or validating that some people are smalled cased letters and some are just Big

Details | Sonnet | |

Shall I Compare Thee

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more stormy and less temperate.
Rough winds do shake our fragile bonds of May,
And summer's temper hath all too short a date.

Sometime too hot your sweat does shine,
And often is your beauty dimmed;
And every handsome man you do decline,
by chance, they leave chest hair untrimmed.

Part 2 Variation
Shall I compare thee to a winter’s day?
Thou art as stormy and as cold
And do leave me longing for May
And winter’s temper too long showed
Sometime too cold yours eyes shine GREY

Details | Free verse | |

Confused Yet

Confused Yet

A New Take on an old story.

Just a piece nonsense I hope you will enjoy

Pull up and chair and sit on the floor
I'm going to tell you a story you're never seen before
Late one night in the early morning
I stood outside the house while sitting in my bedroom
I shouted at the top of my lungs while whispering to my friend
Who was sitting beside me as I stood in the hall
That thunder was loud and the clouds were black
As sun shone bright from a clear blue sky
Ask me on qeustions and I'll tell you now lie
Just ask the blind man he saw it too. 

Details | Dramatic Verse | |

Oh me, Oh my

Oh me,Oh My

Here I am sitting in this corner, 
Wondering where my baby could be, 
I am once again a loner 
My little baby I just cannot see. 
She said she was going for a bite to eat.
 I went ahead and picked us two seats. 
I said,"Darling you know where to find me 
It is where we always watch the matinee.
 She promised to be back in the twinkle of an eye 
But I soon found out,her promise was a little white lie 
Oh me,Oh my,my baby why?  

 I waited and waited for her to come back 
Time was slipping fast 
I wondered if she had fainted 
Had a heart attack 
Or if she had to spend some time 
just to pay the cost
 Oh me,Oh my,my baby why?   

By now the show had started 
And I was now downhearted 
I just wanted her close to me 
Just like a kitten and its flea 
I decided to sit tight till the break 
Then a further decision I'll have to make 
Should I send out an sos 
Or her fidelity I got to trust  
Oh me,oh my,my baby why?   

At the start of the break the lights came on 
They shone from above,like a midday sun 
Making it easy for all to see 
my little baby where she shouldn't be 
She was entwined in someones arm 
Her clothes were like sails in a storm
 What my eyes didn't see the darkness did censure. 
Where his lips did go,his hands did venture. 

I beckoned her to come to me
 I guess why she was there she just couldn't see. 
The lights were out,the place was dark 
She was just like Noah, without his ark. 
She looked at me and turned her back 
Then shout out, I have given you the sack. 
Oh me,Oh my, my baby why?

Details | Rhyme | |

Am I Writing Still

I'm in the examination hall, Going for yet another fall-- Nothing to gain--though all is lost (Laziness has had its cost) The paper's done--time's there-- I haven't any idea--how could I care... This Test for sure has gone no good, Had I studied, score I could.. But all is all--gone and over-- I surely need the Four-Leaved Clover, 'cause Luck's gone, all skill's lost My mind's been the Devil's host... Never before in the past, I had found myself aghast From Studies and Logic needed here (God! If only I had cared....). The Brain's lost its normal function Of Reason and Assertion-- So much so that I'm tired now, Did few sums--I dont know how... So I sit here to compose this verse, Hoping someday to shake away my Curse.....

Details | Light Poetry | |


Hell, I’m coming to you
I’ve always think about you
You’re the goal of my life
Gimme a few more hours
I’ll be there
We will be together forever
Gee! I forgot the “o”.
Hello, I’m coming to you.

Details | Light Poetry | |

The worlds biggest cock

I like chickens, 
They’re cuddly and they’re cute
When I goes out on Friday night
I wears a chicken suit
People stares at me an says
“Just look at him he’s barmy”
They won’t find it so funny
When I’ve raised my chicken army
We’ll take the world by storm 
Then I won’t be the laughing stock
Surrounded by my chickens
I will be the biggest cock

I like chickens
They are my only friends
I love them all, the cockerel
The baby chicks the hens
We’ll dominate the world
And then this bird will rule roost
I’ll cock a doodle doo to give
My birds a morale boost
I’ll march upon the capital
Encircled by my flock
You’ll hear the people turn and say
“Just look at him, the Cock!”

Details | Rhyme | |

Why Won't You Work For ME

Why don’t you like to work for me?
I’m kind and gentle, not harsh or mean.
I need your help so I can stay clean.
But you won’t work for me!

I’ve seen it before, you work for others.
It’s not too much like cleaning gutters.
The task isn’t hard
I’m not catching you off guard.

You gotta be joking.

I’m waving my hand all over, right in front of your sensor.
Why wont you work u stupid automatic soap dispenser!

Details | Burlesque | |

Tom's TidBits

Cinqo De Mayo...When a Brooklyn thug target shoots at a floating jar of Hellman's.

Dutch- Where do they come from?  I've looked at atlases dozens of times, and 
can't find a country called Dutch, or Dutchland.

Dusty Springfield- why doesn't someone get her a dust-buster, or dust rag, or 

Refried Beans- What's that about? Didn't they fry them right the first time?

Chigger- defamatory label for a person half Chinese, and half Black.

Endomorph- Quitting a serious drug habit.

Hoe-Down- 1)Dropping your garden tool.  2)A prostitute rendered unconscious.

Ignoramus- A hippo who failed in high-school.

Knee-Jerk-A person whose brains are in his shins.

Primate- A burglar's cohort with the crowbar.

More may be added later, and all are welcome to contribute, either in comments, 
or e-mail me and I'll add them.

Details | Verse | |

Face To Face

Joanna Davis

So many things to do today
My goodness I’ve no time to play
The washing, ironing, then the tea
tomorrow I’ll have more time for me!
Just let me get the shopping done,
can’t stop now…I’m on the run
So many things to hide behind
If there’s nothing to do~
Something I’ll find
I’ll dig myself in so deep
even my min’s no time to sleep
I can’t slow down or stop you see
or I might come face to face with me!

Details | Dramatic Verse | |

Ain't Dreamin' of a Daddy

I'd like to do so much
With you
But that's
A hell of a lot
To ask of
A drinking man
Father-Daughter Dance
I'm from the South
And I ain't ahamed 
To say I ain't dreamin'
Of a Daddy
I got all I need
I got my Mommy
She's just as good 
And better
She's a fighter
We can live
Without you

Details | I do not know? | |


Such an irritating act
When you're are gravely focused
And your brain in a snap
Comes up with a flash
of Johnny Depp
on the red carpet
smoking an e-cigarette!
Now, just WTH is that?

Details | I do not know? | |

Buried By Haiku

I'm here
amongst the huge pile of haiku.
Can you see me? 
I hope you do.

I've been buried here
and I don't know what to do.
Each time I post a poem..
it gets buried by haiku! ! 

Details | I do not know? | |






Details | Classicism | |

what is family

Blood doesn't always make you family to me its loyalty and respect if I need you right beside me is where you'll be To me blood is not a big deal,To me it matters whos real and whos around when im up or when i fallen to the ground thats how i feel for me always ready to chill and for me will kill the people who always been there before and are here still

Details | Light Poetry | |


I'm afraid of sharks, swimming in the seas,
I'm not going to put MY toe in, can't you see?
I'm afraid they'll like the smell of me,
And call their kin to come and put an end to me.

I'm afraid of small and big knives-
Sharp and cutting -plunging and tearing,
Then some detective will have to hunt
To find where the victim's been buried.

I'm not afraid of mice or rats-
Of spiders, whales, or even bats,
I'm not even scared of dogs or cats
Or of whales, old kettles, of silly old hats

I think I've taken up enough of you poets time,
Making you think of all your fears and such-
Now it's time for me to make you wonder,
What could I do to make you blunder?


ENJOY! This was one of my very first poems, written when I was just coming out 
of the depression I had been in after my beloved husband's sudden death.

Details | Limerick | |

Mistaken Identity

There was an eel on the ocean floor,
Sammy his name, he knew the score.
His friends said, he was smart,
Then upon a dinner cart,
He said, Hey, I am not an albacore.

Details | Senryu | |


Is Laura Bree-and-er-thong here?
Bry-den-thal IS

Details | Rhyme | |


People smoke weed, or crack to ignore problems and laugh hysterically,
coffee is my drug, it's my quick pick-me-up...I say it so proudly,
because it won't harm me, hallucinate me or make me feel afraid;
I will be alive tomorrow, not crash into into a lamppost as Freddy did.

I lived through the Hippie Era: bell-bottoms...long, frizzy hair
and funny clothes the kind that clowns wear,
no offense to those who thought they were cool;
it's my opinion, not of that guy who didn't see himself as a fool!  

I had no time to protest, or vindicate the Vietnam War as Omar;
off I went to work each morning as hippies hung out by a bar
shouting at me, " Kid, stay alive...don't ever go to war! "
They ran and screamed, knocking down police barricades...horror!

Details | Rhyme | |

Half of Me

What kind of a woman are You?
To make me think of all those things I shouldn't do
To make me think of wanting you
When I know it's something I should never do
And yet in my heart you divide me
You set myself beside me...


Half of me wants to believe you
Half of me knows you lie
Half of me can't live without you
Half of me would rather die

Half of me wants to leave you
Half of me wants to remain
Half of me remembers the good times
Half of me can not forget the pain

You glance at me
You prance at me
You set my heart on fire
You tease me
You ease me
You seduce me into your wicked desire

And then when were alone
My emotions you skin to the bone
And with that empty love you fill me
With that empty love you slowly kill me

So why don't you go go go
And leave me so so so
Yet when your gone I'll only want you back
Whoops...Half of me said
I shouldn't  have said that


Half of me wants to love you
Half of me says no
Half of me wants to forever hold you
Half of says to let you go

Half of me wants to be so good
Half of me wants to be so very bad
Half of me always trust you
Half of me knows the other half's been had.

Details | Free verse | |

The Inner Struggle

Some our very eager perplexed swept within

Underneathe the belly of the beast
A needed flower to grow amidst the rise of yeast
Within sullen fragmented dreams & truth
One may even negate that inner truth for a lie?

That inner struggle within/

To remain attached to the vine sublime

We are more then qualified for its great design
To calm the nerves from within
We look to man yet find no hold
We look toward self thus grafted in again onto the rights are sold

We then read books based on logic & get trapped within

For some, 
It's inner struggle is what we all must seek to face
Within loose debris in decayed formation
Yet some its inner struggle is a way of escape?

Proned toward evident inhillation embraced with its surfaced Peyton Place;

The inner struggle from within
Fought back the heavy tears with a smile
Still to know all the great while
A hand to hold a loving kiss embraced

For this is the thought provoking struggle we enivatably all must face?

The inner struggle.

Details | Rhyme | |

My true morning error.

Morning breaks my restful sleep and 
guides me to my need.
I try to move as fast I can but my
bladder seems to lead.

At last the room is now revealed, the porcelain
dome in site.
I gaze upon the dimming tiles by 
now reflect the light.

So now I make way downstairs in
search of something hot.
My yearning grows as I look around,
but there's nothing in the pot.

Now were's that woman, that hag
the crone.
Never has she let me down or left 
me all alone.

Lazy now, I try to bring, my senses
back around.
This task is mighty daunting without 
that boiling sound.

I Step outside and stretch my limbs, screams  
are all around.
What is up with all this noise, I want a
peaceful sound.

I rub my eye's and look about, to try
and catch the fool.
So now I blush and see them all,
staring at my tool.

Details | Senryu | |

In The Dog House

The Dog House
Caught, he lied to her;
His ebullient smile said all,
On the couch he sleeps.

Details | Limerick | |


Bought a white Whirpool fridge at PC Richard,
took the salesperson's sound advice and word.
Plugged it worked well,
the next day, it gave me hell!
The temp. was set on " coldest "...what happened?

Details | Burlesque | |

on a mat a pier

deride derision  divide division devise a vision
play with words like rythym  tick something squared
is power of two and cubed's the power of three 
not four that's more
are inconsistent seas unfound or foundered 
I think there four iambic meters cause caucasion
indecision in a celtic melded welded mind I find
a loss of words incomprehensic in reprehensic

Details | Free verse | |

lost, found, and liberated

i use to lie awake at night 
and ponder of this pointless life 
up for hours and not make a sound 
i once was lost but now i am found
my sea of confusion, like moses did part
the instant i let jesus inside of my heart...
but than i let out a gigantic huge fart 
and realized it was just indigestion 
than like a sensible person, i began to question 
and out of those questions, came rational thought 
and all of the things in school i was taught 
like critical thinking and following facts 
so i came to the conclusion: religions a quack 
now i live happily, in awe of earth's mysterious beauty 
and if you don't like it, you can kiss my patooty

Details | Limerick | |

GPS Seductions

A sultry voice gave directions.
Wrong turn, then came the corrections.
A panic attack –
Screams came from the back.
“We're lost; where are the connections?”

©October 30, 2011
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Details | Dramatic Verse | |




                                                                                 BY SHIRLEY MOODY

Details | I do not know? | |

The Fires OF Hell

The fires of hell start to burn my skin
I never knew I had committed such a sin
My skin is leaking all over the bed
The arrows of 20 thousand Indians pierce my head
I’m burning up I can’t take anymore
I try to escape but I just hit the floor.

A river of ice rushes over me
I’m frozen and shaking why can’t he see?
I need some quilts I need to keep warm
I think the chattering of my teeth will do them some harm

I am lucid again, things are looking quite good
The elephants knitting some booties out of wood
The cowboys’ and Indians they fight back to back
I know I’m getting better, I know they can’t win like that.

The fires of hell sweep over me again
My throat burns like I’ve swallowed a topless fountain pen.
My husband looks at me and he declares with concern
I’m fetching the doctor so we can learn.

The doctor he calls I know what’s wrong with you
It’s a microscopic bug and we call it the flu
Stay in bed till the Indians have all left the closet
Till the booties are made and you know that they fit

Your temperature will fall don’t worry it will
But stay where you are or you will be ill
I’m ill now I said patting the bed
Just sit beside me you can massage my head.

When you are lucid and well we will have a chat
And your husband will explain what was wrong with that.
He laughed and patted my head like a child
The elephants dropped a stitch and It’s making me wild.

The lap top is laughing at me on top of the bed
The river of ice is rushing from my feet to my head
I think I will leave my writing till later
The heron is now fighting with the pet alligator.

Details | Monorhyme | |


I wear a beard of aging, upon a cliff-face chin
A year has passed and grown its hairs out from my mottled skin
Mistakes sit there unchallenged, to each fibre clings a sin
Yet despite my facial mask of age the clubs won’t let me in

Details | Rhyme | |

Should I

Should I?
Which way do I turn and what do, I do? 
I cannot decide what to do for you.
Why is it so hard to do this small task?
It’s not really much, not a big ask.
How would I start and how would I finish?
I’m not really good, my thoughts do diminish.
What can it be, that I can put down?
I ask heavens above, but no answers abound.
Should I or shouldn’t I, I really don’t know?
I’m scared of it now, I may make a show.
I’ll try really hard to do my best,
I know it’s all down to me.
But should I enter it, in the contest?
That is my dichotomy.

Details | Pastoral | |

Trivial Question IV

*****Can you honestly answer this one question..*******

If "God" were to be a passenger in your car
How many driver's would their be?

Answer: It depends on whether your car has two wheel's or one!


******Question of the day....++++

How do you keep a Poetry Soup Poet or anybody else in suspense?

Answer: To be continued.....Ha! Ha!. He,He...luv. luv------

Details | Rhyme | |

State of Confusion

I wish I knew where I was going 
But I don't even know where I've been 
If I knew how to find the ending 
I might know where to begin 

I'm not lost I'm just confused 
That's where I think I am 
I know I sound forgetful 
But what if that's the plan 

I make up my mind at least twice a day 
And I can't even make my bed 
That says a lot about me I'm sure 
Or what's lurking inside of my head 

Ok now you can all stop laughing 
And pointing your fingers at me 
I Live in a state of confusion 
And I think I'm happy to be

Details | Alliteration | |

Random Reasoning

Wow what words woven where wit was working!!

Well written words while I wondered what to write...weally wonderfully witty!

Two bees or
not two bees
that is the difference in 
and life!

Really random rantings
Rouse right reasoning
Reread and rear
Reason in season.

Details | I do not know? | |

Tough Things Happen To Me : Executive Woes

Wow! As we would colloquially put it,
You are really one man of grit!
You seem to be the only guy
Who’s got no time even to cry.

Just imagine, in a day
Everyone wants to know your say.
You’ve got to speak, you’ve got to write –
Are you the only one who’s very bright?

And you’ve got to be present everywhere
Especially when your boss’s there.
In a jiffy you’ve got to speak
Why is that you tend to squeak?

Legal matters, contracts, too,
Inquiries, finance - are statements true?
Then open files and through them pore;
Are there skeletons behind the door?

God help me! I’ve erased a file,
Tensions rampant, vanish’d’s the smile.
Oh Lord Almighty, let me out of this mess,
A real tough job – I do confess!

Details | Couplet | |


     Well...I wanted to do something silly as I did,
     In writing a poem for this bid.

     It took but a TINY HERCULEAN try,
     All the while, I'm asking "Why?"

     I thought of writing about the time,
     When I didn't even have a dime.

     But then I realized how silly it would be,
     To write something, only about me.

     I decided not to write about me at all.

     Instead, while eating my JUMBO SHRIMP,
     I decided it would best to be an OVERGROWN IMP.

     Writing about the CARNATION CARRIED by the COURTIER,


     Yet, only SONG SOOTHED him when his SHACKLED SEVERITY SEPIA aroused.

     Thus, often abed the king would go,

     And if this silliness be not a poem the rules will fit,
     Maybe I should just lay down my pencil...and QUIT !!


Details | Couplet | |

What A Night...

I woke up this morning in the kitchen and not really sure who I was,
Tid-Bits and flashes from last night are now making my head buzz;

Did I fall into a wormhole or get abducted by a UFO,
With the pounding pain inside my skull, right now I just don’t know;

I vaguely remember Rosie complaining about the night,
And who were those Vacuum Salesmen, they didn’t get an invite; 

My insomnia must have been cured by drinking that nuclear waste,
I’ll use a Listerine soaked tissue to freshen up, what happened to my toothpaste;

As I venture to the bedroom I spot Hammond in his Spandex boxer shorts,
I hate to wake him up but right now I need a report;

My living room is up in shreds, did I host a Rock Convention,
The things I found upon my floor I’m not going to mention;

Did Dire Straits have a concert in my house while I was out,
So much for wine and dine, I’m fixing to start to shout;

I discovered lunar craters in what used to be my yard,
The fire my friends didn’t put out left my folding chairs all charred;

Well I’m off to take some medicine and start drifting back to sleep,
I’ve never had a gig like that and fixing up won’t be cheap!

~4th Place in the "Wacky Weekend Challenge(Remembering Tom)"Contest by Catie Lindsey~

Details | I do not know? | |

Lost in the Mail

I wish to spend one day with you 
but frenetic fears prevail
All the things I'd love to do
but they would only fail
for I am only mirrored  lights
of other days and other nights
and I could never make it right
my heart is sick and pale
I write a ballad and a dance
I sing about a lost romance
but we would never have a chance
and so I just E-Mail.

Details | Blank verse | |

I cannot wait in quicksand

Dear lover you don't know yourself,
yet I'm blinded with awe
and we come together,
but you let me tumble
to other rocks
that surface the shore.
Dear love you said so yourself,
but perhaps it was merely
Dear friend who tells tales to tare the tale he tells,
because my will tethers easily
and I sway so wholly,
that another already holds my pen
by the end of this poem.

I cannot wait in quicksand,
my legs wont wade merrily.

Details | Limerick | |

In a Stew

Sent a limerick to Poetry Soup
The content quite frankly was “poop”
But the urge for to pen one
And courageously send on
My scribbles, is oh such a hoot! 

Details | Rhyme | |

Fallacy, Misinformation and Contradiction

Society is rife with statements of misinformation, fallacy and contradiction
To say otherwise would be to argue that our settlement was a pleasant eviction
If you are to believe what is in the following first lines
Then perhaps you are gullible enough to believe the proceeding lines

Our new industrial relations laws are reasonable and fair
A Buddhist monk has a full head of hair
The United States of America is rational and just
If you want curly hair just eat your crust

The Queen is a popular and influential head of state
Quite often at prisons they leave open the front gate
The Good and Services Tax won’t complicate life
It is legal and admirable to have more than one wife

We have an obligation to follow America and Great Britain to war
You will get piles sitting on a cold concrete floor
Ladies and gentlemen the honourable Mr Howard
A bully is not a coward

There are Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq
No one has ever died after being bitten by a shark
The brightness of light in the total dark
A grassless, treeless, concrete park

Religion is not dogmatic
Working for the man is not problematic
Education will be free and available to all
Always a baby walks first then learns to crawl
A midget or dwarf is extremely tall
I tried marijuana but did not inhale
The Japanese have no interest in hunting whale
Indigenous people are being treated better
Not one convict has ever been an Australian settler

Julia Gillard can’t be Prime Minister as she hasn’t had a child
An Australian summer is rather mild
Climate change is a beaten up issue
Blow your nose with sandpaper rather than a tissue

Our troops will be home soon
Winter begins in April not June
By the year 2000 we would have landed at least a second time on the moon
Four o’clock is the new noon

The person at the head of the queue will be served next
Shane Warne doesn’t know how to text
All we need is a few weeks of solid rain
If you break a bone you’ll feel no pain

Anyone in society has a fair and fighting chance to win
Look up and you can see a flightless flying penguin
Bush does not influence Howard a decision is his own
Fast Food outlets only use foods that are organically grown

The War in Iraq is not about oil
Heating water won’t cause it to boil 
It could not have be handled any better concerning David Hicks
Magic is real it contains no illusions or tricks

The aim of this verse was to have a laugh and be reflective
I hope it puts the things people say into perspective

Details | Free verse | |


Never trust a woman with a stick
Allegros slow    Andantes quick

It starts when Passionata comes on stage
Hips controlled    feet detache    dress in style
                   lento    firm lips betray a smile

Rehearsals can be so deathly sweet
Routined (in mind) commence polyphony
             hoping for a firm    sure beat

She steps upon the stand with grace
Checks (includes her undergarments) that
We're all in place    then
Taps the flowered rack

All players
       men emasculated
                     women stuck to chairs
      instantly repond    (with silent prayers)
Egmont is chosen for the overture
The long    tutti fortissimo is SICK!


Trumpets    trombones    French horns
                                 empty valves of spit
Woodwinds check their springs
                     the reeds for grit
The entire string section pluck their strings
                                         but    OH!
The bloody tambourine
              shaken on its stand   rolls off of it
                and down each riser in jingling fit

Passionata breathes    contemptuous
    rapture    flash of victory in her eyes

At last    a chirptwittering laugh
                 patronizing glance to all
               (especially the men)
"Shall we"    rising to her tallest    fullest
                             "try it once again"

Details | Free verse | |

The Bill of Rights, Part II

No illegal search and seizure
Says amendment Number Four
Probable cause necessary
Before we break down your door.
The warrant spells out what they search,
Describing things they will seize.
So hide them where you know they won’t
Go to the judge, and say, “Please.”

Number Five’s an uncommon gem
It says we won’t take your life
Without due process of the law,
Or by talking to your wife.
Testimony from yourself, and
Oh, yeah, double jeopardy,
Will never be responsible
For removing liberty.

We will not take your property
For a bridge or a highway.
Not without compensating you
But, please, stay out of the way.
We’ll never pay you what it’s worth,
Nor what the market will bear.
We shall pay you what we think’s right
And so what if it’s not fair?

So now we come to Number Six:
Speedy trial for you and me.
Impartial juries we will have
‘Less the press first runs the story.
We will inform you of the crime
They think you have committed.
And let you confront eyewitness
And a lawyer, not dim witted.

So here we are, now at Seven,
But this one’s kind of dicey.
It’s about the common law,
And the cost of controversy.
The courts have set some precedents
From the beginning to this year
So put this one from your mind, but
Don’t let lawyers know your fear.

Punishment cruel, or excessive
Is listed in Number Eight.
High bails and fines not imposed
Except in a crime of hate.
This allows a sentence of death
When combined with Number Five.
So, while stoning is a no, no.
Injection can take your life.

The rights for you, herein displayed
Shall not be the only item.
Number Nine says it right clear
Other rights are not denied ‘em.
This simply means, to you and me,
We’re somewhat free, to a point.
Beware of our society
For they say no to that joint.

This now brings us to Number Ten
About powers left on the rack.
If it’s not stated by this doc
States, and people, take up the slack.
The constitution delegates
Power to the three branches.
But if they overstep these bounds
Beware election chances.

Details | Free verse | |

The Bill of Rights, Part I

The Bill of Rights was ratified
by citizens in these states,
But, see, now there is a problem
Today, it’s the world we face.
There are ten things Gov. cannot do,
They are spelled out for everyone.
For now, these rights are set in stone.
Let’s review them, one by one.

The right to worship where you dare
is the Number One protection.
Arab, Jew or the Satanist;
Free from undo persecution.
But when their Gods tell them to kill
we will hunt the sinners down.
We’ll even fight in foreign lands
and bomb them into the ground.

It also says to speak your mind!
It was next on Jefferson’s slate.
But, please, don’t utter the wrong words,
No obscenities from your crate.
Burn a flag and we don’t care,
The Supreme Court said one day.
Even fools deserve a voice.
But, in schools, you cannot pray.

Freedom of press is mighty nice
Till Paparazzi track you down.
How does the First Amendment
Let them treat you like a clown?
If the press is wrong, you can sue
But infrequently will you win.
The Courts have said, time and again,
Their mistakes we will pardon.

The right to gather we do have.
Thank the Gods they put this in.
Just make the choice of time and place
And let the world see you win.
Protest someone’s execution,
Say CNN and Fox News,
We will ask you stupid questions
And take shots from different views.

Right to Bare Arms is Number Two
NRA says that’s a FACT now.
Our founding fathers never saw
An SMG shot at a cow.
If they had, I truly think,
They’d be completely horrified.
A change of minds you’d see so fast,
‘less, of course, they’re petrified.

Militia is a good idea.
Let’s secure the federation.
Please don’t shoot the officers
When they come for regulation.
You’ll only see the FBI
If you buy weapons banned,
Or if you brainwash members
To take poison from your hand.

Number Three? No GIs in home:
Not at peace, nor if at war.
Unless the Houses pass a law
Proposed by a senator.
But even with that stupid law
We will ask before we do.
Forefathers said we surely must
Just don’t expect us to pay you.

Details | Free verse | |

My Secret Prison

Trapped again!

Maze hidden cheddar eluding 
every twisting turn a doorway 
to the path I’ve already forgotten
a spirit broken within each hidden cul-de-sac.

I cry.

Depression building my will 
crumbling into fatal despair
that rages with a whisper
as quiet as a hurricane.

I sleep.

I scream at one wall 
hundreds more continue laughing.
Right! Left! NO! RIGHT! Left! Right! LEFT! YES! Right!

I succumb.

Cheddar thoughts and running 
water sustain my desire to escape
through walls of scent
filled dreams of freedom.

I laugh.

Test complete. Failure.
Should have smelled for Camembert.

Details | Light Poetry | |

Bad belly

bad belly

The thorns for the rose,
soil hands for oily lips,
tears for the picture in the 
secret wallet:
chokes,lips drip vinegar:"am i responsible?
"how do you know"?"it cant be". 

The clouds beneath the sky,
sunshine through trees(the shrubs suffer loss):long 
blonde hair of snow white
,obstructing rays of a woman and child. 

Abyss darkness,he drives his car on the freeway
thinking what to explain. 
he reaches a traffic halt,
empty world,deep sea, 
the devil. 
the moon shines so he sees it all:

The ring hidden in his mouth when he said,"seem i have met you before"?"i am 
single- hmm  divorced"
and  then one hotel,one bed, one night,
trouser and skirt on the floor. 

Details | Rhyme | |

The Stalking Sheep

Today I saw a little sheep, waiting by the gate 
Maybe it had gone astray through some mishap of fate 
But strangely it did not appear to want to go away 
Perhaps it was the same sheep that I saw there yesterday 

If I go out it follows me wherever I might go 
It stays a way behind me, but always remains in tow 
I don't know what its motives are or what compels the beast 
Nor from where it first emerged, from what mad farm released. 

At the supermarket checkout, by the door I see it wait 
As the cashier quietly asks me 'Is that your sheep out there, mate?' 
I deny the sheep is with me, but the sheep gives that a lie 
When it turns to follow dog-like, as I sheepishly walk by. 

I don't know what I ought to do, I doubt that the police 
Will care much for a stalker who has four legs and a fleece 
But still it is quite sinister; I feel some kind of threat 
But what it is, I don't know, for it hasn't done it yet!

Details | Senryu | |

Dancing With Migraines

I dance to get rid

Of no avail

It enjoys the dance!! >:(

Details | Rhyme | |

My Fear...

It was a typical Tuesday night, And I was riding after dark; The clouds had covered up the sky, As I took a shortcut through the park; I always took the same path, Around the monkey bars; There wasn’t a light to be found, No moon and no stars; Nothing seemed to be amiss, As I continued on my way; But I found myself wishing silently, I’d gone home earlier in the day; I found that very strange, Since I usually don’t mind the night; And I couldn’t help but think, Something wasn’t quite right; So I stopped my horse and listened, But there’s not a sound to be heard; And afraid to break the stillness, I utter not a word; My imagination is running wild, And Lil’ can feel my dread; She’s prancing to the side now, Ears pricked at something ahead; I’m trying to still my pounding heart, But through my veins it’s spreading fear; I struggle to maintain the silence, As through the darkness we move near; I can see something up there moving, Stalking towards us through the night; A horrible creature coming closer, I pale to the purest white; Then the animal walks into view, Like it’s coming out of a fog; And he lets out a happy bark, The monster was my dog; I’m feeling kind of stupid now, Getting scared so easily; Turns out the thing I need to fear, Is the imagination trapped in me!

Details | I do not know? | |

A Painkiller for my Friend

Sunny and funny. Do they go together? Maybe. 
Zebras, as you know, do not wear z bras. Monkeys DO NOT 
love bananas. Unicorns can have 2 horns, and dagons can breath
ice. So why be sad? SO much to do, So much to be. So many people to 
cheer up. So give them a koala, for everyone loves them. 

Details | I do not know? | |

Life Is

Life is like a box of chocolates
You know there's a nutty one in there somewhere

Life is like a box of chocolates
All the good ones have already been taken

Life is like a box of chocolates
People keep sampling and putting them back

Life is like a box of chocolates
Without care, they grow stale

Life is like a box of chocolates
You cant always tell what you're getting

Life is like a box of chocolates
Sometimes the first bite turns out really nasty

Life is like a box of chocolates
Too much sweet stuff can make you throw up

Life is SOOO like a box of chocolates
And yet we all struggle on

Details | Quatrain | |


I don't love you for your wit
You're always spitting bile.
Reluctantly  I now admit
I do not love your smile.

Nor do love your manly touch
And I don't love your smell.
I just don't love you very much,
So why's your silence hell?

I do not miss your lilting voice,
Nor do I miss your kiss.
I've never seen your laughing eyes
So what is there to miss? 

I don't love your hand in mine
It's strictly for the birds.
Without your love I'm doing fine,
But how I miss your words.

Details | Lyric | |

Year on Year

Yaw ad! Yaw ad! Yaw ad! - Yaw Ad
— the felt shot of your toxic mind
as blowout around by finished wine —
in evolution lift lipping been voicing
overly anew tweed is addiction		
At phases are of Valentine’s Day. 

Yaw ad! Yaw ad! Yaw ad! - Yaw Ad			
— your setting to offer one field			
of trust precious present in any choice
in deeply refraction of liquor smell
and breezing-breathes mean it off talk —
two foul had owned your heart
edge at nearness around by
up bench stopped when we were sitting — 
and ten fouls will you figure own			
by an entire bench-day stop ...
We set  plans to be sitting again!

Yaw ad! Yaw ad! Yaw ad! - Yaw Ad
— the pious reactor’s iris of redness eyes
in near highly away concept to me 
upcoming of miscible to myself
the miss-rose by Valentine’s Day
And fail goals, the poses of smiles.

Details | Rhyme | |

All thunked Out


Dr. James E. Martin
©February, 2013

I thunk and I thunk
Till I was all thunked out.
I had nothing more
To think about.

I used to worry
’Bout this condition.
Guess my brain 
Is in de-composition.

I worry no more
Cause this is the norm.
I now find it hard
A thought to form.

Details | Limerick | |


Relativity says go faster
And time travel backward you master.
But no tempting your fate
Making out with a date,
Cause kissing your dad’s a disaster.

Details | Sonnet | |

Natural Beauty

Sparkling rivers on a moonlit night
The starry sky covers them with its light
Softly signing songbirds adding romance
Nature's song so sweet, it creates a trance

The scent of roses suspended in the air
Exotic floral fragrances drawing them so near
The silky feeling of soft breeze on smooth skin
The touch of cool grass warming them within

They kiss.....
She tastes like caffeine
He tastes like cigarettes
They get up, walk away
Thinking disgustedly to themselves

Details | Free verse | |

Where Persephone Dwells

Seeds of pomegranate 
     in my belly 

This girl wonders how much of her 
Is alive 
above ground 
Or circling Cerebus 
as he chases his tail

(If u r stuck in a dream then aren't u only half living?)

I live with eyes wide open
The Gorgon's stare does not deter

We use people as tarot cards
 to guide our destiny 

Entrails are likely more reliable

Details | Light Poetry | |

A Notion Of A Whisper

A flower will start off as a simple bud/
It then will grow forth !
As when birds in Summer tend to move North/
Yet as the flower may bloom/
There is often found room in which to grow,

Have a positive mindset in life,

Longevity !
There will be many storms !
Yet we all must not allow them,
To dictate what may happen in the future/
Today be a positive light to a darkened place/

Live by example !

Cause many people are watching !
They will be looking for some hidden quality,
Hence, a bit of understanding/
Perhaps it's determination or a great sense of integrity !
Yet without cement to hold a brick it will eventually fall/

This isn't some store bought item that one gets at their nearby mall,

Let all your words be few yet sweet and sincere/
For far too many people in life,
That don't even bother to care/
Just then a little bird had whispered in my ear/

Yet none the worse for wear,

The heart is deceitful above all things !

Still who can know it ?
A true friend is rather polite and sincere/
To the one who will often show it,
Set the standard high for yourself !

For whether you fall,

You will know in your heart/
That you gave it better then some college Joe try,
Try to keep your mind on just one thing/
For this is the essential key to your success !

Details | Light Poetry | |


Heart’s a thumping, senses reeling
Never had this kind of feeling
Faces ‘round me all a blur
Simple words I start to slur
Ground’s a moving up and down
Room’s a spinning round and round
Legs just won’t support my weight
How'd I get in such a state?
One single drink was all it took
To get this poor boy on the hook
With all that whiskey wine and beer
It’s no surprise I’m feeling queer
And if I get up off this floor
Ain’t never gonna drink no more

© John W Fenn  28-04-2009

Details | Free verse | |

Old Granny Goodness

Old Granny had a big brown kitten, which was the love of her life.
Old Granny’s eyes were failing, of that there was no doubt.
She swore her cat was a gentle Persian, a sweet little cat.
Now everyone loved Old Granny and so tolerated how it did act.
We didn’t have the heart to tell her how wild it was,  you know.

Like the time it jumped thru her screen window going after a bird.
Or how it tore up another screen to get to a squirrel up in a tree.
Or how it climbed the preacher’s leg to get his bowl of ice cream.
The chicken coup was violated by another fateful event.
But granny wouldn’t listen, because she loved that crazy thing.

She said it was a kitten, but it had very Huge, great big paws
And as it grew that sleek, short haired, big thing, truthfully began to roar.
It eventually laid in wait for anything that would cross it’s path…
Oh my goodness Granny… Goodness! Goodness! Goodness!
That’s a mountain lion and NOT a cat!

From that day forward we called her Old Granny Goodness…
For the trouble she could find, Oh My Goodness
Everybody loved her, she was the talk and entertainment of our town.
But a more loving and dear soul, will never be found.

Details | Prose Poetry | |

Would you Marry Me

Would you like to date you said?
I would.
Would you oh could you let me kiss you just this once? 
If you must.
And will you take my hand in yours and let me hold it tight?
You may .
Many a days past by and it was in me to try again,
I did.
Would you marry me,  would you please
I will.
Would you be my wife and go where ever I go 
Would you have my children and bare with me awhile

Details | Free verse | |


Sally Garrel is beautiful.
At least, that’s what she should be.
From her family’s looks she remains,
Perhaps most likely-
Fair white skin
Flowing blond hair
Flashing green eyes
Pouty lips moistly tinged rose
However, one can not truly tell,
For she is covered in
One Big Beauty Mark
Blotchy Brown
Fuzzed Hairs
Raised and Greasy
Sally Garrel is beautiful.
At least, that’s what she should be.

Details | I do not know? | |

What do you mean ?........

Ring ....Ring.......Ring.......Ring
Hello ! who is this ?
May I speak with shing hong ?
Who ?.........
Shing hong ......
No. I think it is wrong number 
Ha ha ha ha ...........
Ha ha ha ha ...........
What do you mean wrong number ?...
You know what I mean .........
Not really .........
Spent time and think
Ha ha ha ha ha ha......
Ha ha ha ha ha ha......
Ok... Can you give me his number then ?
No I don't have it......
What do mean you don't have it ?.....
You know what I mean ........
Not really .......... ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ..... stop it, ok ?......
Ha ha ha ha ha.... I am sorry ...ha ha ha ha ha
It is ok....ha ha ha ha ha .............Clinnnggg..... 

Details | Limerick | |

Sprawling Fellow

A fellow would frequently sprawl
Didn't mind where or if he did crawl
All over a place
Or on his head or face
Till one day crashed and hit the wall!

Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000

September, 8, 2014

Details | Senryu | |


like the paper on the desk
are my thoughts

Details | Free verse | |

The Quote

One day
A stranger came up to me
Speaking in riddles

He said:
Inspiration incites the inscence within that incarnates indigo indians.

I did not know what he ment until he followed up with:

"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."
                                                   - Jack London

I then

what he was 
talking about.

Do you?

Details | Free verse | |

Mayhem in the Mourning

Sleepy, I walked down the senior hallway
The last door on the left seemed miles away
But I was determined to make it
It was 7:26 in the morning, assignment due 7:30
My hands were sweating bullets
Felt as if every senior had their eyes on me
Assignment in hand, I started my journey
Nerd, jocks, cheerleaders all bunched together in one walk-way
You would think I was a running back, of some sort
Dodging the potential mayhem
Judy with the big booty was being so loud
Laughing and screaming with her friends
Drew and the crew obnoxious as usual,
Were going over plays, at least it looked like it
Trampling any victim in their path
The Nerd Bird flocking in e=mc2
Calculate who will have a date in time for prom
Starting with Judy, my hands were no match
The sound waves catapulted me into the lockers
Side to side I juked, spun, and jumped
Like a magnet bouncing off the rhinoceros crew
For the Nerds, I only had to say one thing…
“I already have a date for prom…”
That sent them into a mathematical frenzy
Looking at their watches they said, “Prom is exactly
218 days 13 hours 27 minutes and 10 seconds away…
There is no way you have your date!”
While they babbled on I was on the move
The last mayhem was upon me: The hall monitor
He already saw my awesome display of athleticism
But didn’t find it amusing, He was one of those guys…
If you dropped a piece of paper on the floor, detention
I just distracted him by saying, “I didn’t have breakfast…”
We both didn’t know where that came from 
So I just kept waking while he was still confused
Stumbled into class, discrediting my previous display 
And turned in my homework assignment

Details | Free verse | |


I'm pushing this heavy cart 
without any strenght left,
and through isles swarming with shoppers  
I'm confused by the above signs;
I rush to the one I missed dismaying onlookers.
How can I be so forgetful...
shouldn't I have a list of all items
I use thoughout the week?
I admit that guys are different from gals
with their minds focus on household things!

Yes, we guys aren't as patient as they are,
looking for bargains is a thriftiness that bugs us;
and down those isles we go..not reading labels,
not comparing prices...just filling up our shopping cart
with food we don't really need!  And who will be embarassed
when the cashier tells us annoyingly that the credit card
has been declined! Oh, good grief...we don't carry enough cash,
to avoid blushing in the publice eye while the the line gets longer!  

My advice to you guys: before you venture out shopping, stash your wallet
with enough cash, or check the balance on your credit or debit card;
it's another way of being smart! And besides being admired, you may also find romance
while you are in line and a pretty girl smiles, trying to start an intelligent conversation...
leading to a date or even marriage! Do you get it? Look sharp, flash lots of money
and really get lucky! If you fellas do what I have suggested, 
you'll have broads flocking to you and your buddies will envy you for your luck!

Details | Couplet | |


Fingers, Fingers, I just let them go, 
Where they will take this, I just don't know.

They are moving so fast right now they're a blurr,
They are even making my nerves start to stir.

But I am letting them go to where they have got,
What they are writing, a clue I have not.

For they are in a frenzy you see,
And that is just what they want to be.

They want to move so fast I can't stop,
If I do, I think that from my hands they might drop.

So go fingers, where you will,
I shant stop you from even putting down swill.

Because the frenzy has caught them,
And now they want to answer it some.

They still have not stopped, or even slowed down,
I feel like I'm writing like Bozo the Clown!

But if I am I'll just take it in stride,
It's the fingers that have done it, so nothing to hide.

After all, I couldn't get by without their frantic pace,
When I want to write on this poetry place.

So why should I stop them when they want a chance,
To make the keys tingle and jump to their dance.

I guess they are getting tired and sore,
Or maybe they think that what they've put down is a bore.

Well, however it turns out it will be their own plight,
After all, it was Finger Frenzy, that brought out this fight!

Details | Didactic | |

Towards Peaceful Elections In Nigeria

Yesterday we were happy and free as a bird,
Today with nostagia,we bite our thumb,
Tomorrow we burn midnight oil in tomorrow's aspiration.

Today we give the new veil to a pig,
Tomorrow with bitterness,regret the filthiness.

Today we fashion out plans for unripe pawpaw to ripe for the puppy;
Tomorrow we complain of its mess in the room.

Today we mend water-trough to water grazing fields for the cattle;
Tomorrow we boast of burning the fields for dwelling homes.

Today we spent ourselves to feed the cat,
Tomorrow the cat lives in the bush to eat our fowls.

Today we cherish our dog,our bones on its neck,
Tomorrow it eats the bones even our foods.

Today we accept penny and offer ourselves with pride,
Tomorrow we spend pounds with agony.

Today we labour and tax to welcome the king;
Tomorrow we plant thorns on his parts upon return.

Today we make a prisoner a priest,
Tomorrow we wait for the waist-breaking rhythm.

Today we glorify a tout as the godfather,
Tomorrow we complain of bad company.

After all these,fellow Nigerians,
When shall we think before we leap?

Details | Narrative | |

The Waffle House Way!

Customers are like bouquets of flowers passing through our twenty-four hours.
Breakfast, lunch, or dinner all 365 calendar days guaranteed for a full twenty-four seven.
“Hello Sir”! Welcome to Waffle House America’s favorite place to eat!
Some say we are the closest thing next to God's Great Heaven!
We have a confusing language of our own, the blabbering towers of the real “April Showers”
Service with a smile that has walked the many hard-earned extra tenths of miles,
Nothing computerized with files, just organized by our own genuine unique styles.
Waitresses are serving with hard enduring time and each crosses over a mighty fine line,
Master grill operators optimize a divine talent marking your plates perfectly aligned.
Friday and Saturday nights the party train arrives blessed coffee to the many lips we’ll revive.
Regulars and irregulars you’re served just the same, pardon me did I really get your name?
Loud ones, quiet ones, and even the picky ones strive to come back to us,
Here we bring back the basics of being alive.
Scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, diced, peppered, capped, or topped? 
So do you want them “All the way or just partly aflame”!
Young, old, or different at being indifferent just being sane, 
Especially when the “Waffle House Way” is to say the first “HELLO”!
“Morning Mam”! Can I get you your usual or will you be having something different  “TO GO”?
Brief moments of insanity with the moods that walk through our doors, 
Thank God for every single one of those Jukeboxes!
The quality of service opening an eye to the sly foxes, 
We’d really be in trouble if we sold liquors!
Foreign, military, and even civilian are in and out, 
Our servers are like the gold stored at Fort Knox.
So what can we get you today that you haven’t already had before?
 “The Waffle House Way” America shouts!
 It’s like being home because that’s what we are all about.

Details | Free verse | |

Queen of Doubt



I await your reply with a sigh I wonder if I am bothering In truth I think it is in my head And that they do not mind a bit But sometimes, doubt pokes out And crowns me willingly Doubt is a friend I have come to know well In the most simplest of situations Or the most complex It is a friend that crowns me With a sense of humility—yet at the same time PRIDE I feel superior as the doubter And as such I wait for your reply Justifying the fact that I know you care And that my mind is creating a situation That does not in fact exist In fact, doubt IS pride It is full of limit and full of itself It does not add or subtract It simply clings And crowns my mind As I await your reply, I crown myself proudly, The Queen of Doubt

Details | Acrostic | |


Breaking by the minute 
A savior might change my life around 
Drum rolls... .... ..... x5

Details | ABC | |

slump of thought

1 Subject,
70 Sheet, 
Wide ruled,
Blue main, partially covered in fleece
With 27 blue and 1 red line
3 holes punched
empty circles in time
emptiness of thought
trying to learn things
that can't be taught
no catchy punch lines 
not even a sweet phrase
in act of creative desperation
I write about...... a notebook page

Details | Couplet | |

Spelling Bee

Oh! I wish I could spell “weirdo”! It really bothers me.
Is it the “e” before the “i”, or the “i” before the “e”?

Now, if it was a German word, I wouldn’t have to try.
I know “ie” is always eee, and “ei”’s always eye.

It doesn’t have a Latin root, so that rule won’t apply … 
It really has no hook at all that I can grab it by.

Yes! It’s good old Anglo-Saxon, full of grunts and mangled vowels.
They didn’t have to write it- they’d communicate with scowls.

No! I really can’t spell “weirdo”! Not to write, or speak, or sing …
So the only answer I can find is ... don’t use the bloomin’  thing!


This problem cropped up when I wrote"Mum's Advice Ignored" ... 
I'm usually quite a good speller!

Entered in Susan Burch's contest, "Ridiculous Self- exaggerations"

Details | Cowboy | |

When Long Johns Get Religion

When long johns get religion
And you’re fallin’ out the door—
And bowels just move a smidgeon
When they need to move much more—

Then ol’ north winds come knockin’
And it’s then that you sure know—
If relief don’t come callin’
That you’ll sure enough dern blow!

Then your stomach do start rumblin’
Like it’s in some argument—
And you know the storm’s comin’
And it won’t be heaven sent!

That’s when you cinch your sphincter
To repress that symphony—
To kill or mute the coarseness
While in polite company.

But when that time is over
And ol’ nature runs its course—
You’d better blame your best pard
Or meekly point at your horse!

Yes, long johns hide revival
When your bowels can take no more—
But if you feel it comin’
Just undo that ol’ trapdoor! 

Details | Free verse | |

computer wife.

                         Computer computer    
                      what have you done to me?
                       Im only thirty-five
                       yet feel sixty-three.
                     Last year I was happy,
                     without you was the best,
                     now your part of my life,
                      I ignore all the rest.
                      My wife says I love you
                       more than her.
                     My children ask,
                who is the stranger at the door.
                   and when you crash,
                    which you often do
                what am I supposed to do.
                Yes computer youve 
                   changed my life
                   iif I was divorced
                  would you be my wife.

Details | Blank verse | |

Get Told

I've had to grow up
and down and back again,
but its nice hearing
the new that everyone knows.
You can never be too old,
especially when you still get told.

Details | Ballade | |



             A friend of mine the other day
             stepped inside my brain
             No one has heard from my friend since
              A mystery that will remain.

             I opened up the cellar door
             to feel the surging heat
             I looked below and there behold
            was my missing friend at my feet.

            He beckoned me to follow him
             down a dark and dismal path
            I took the lead because of my greed
              and no sooner felt the wrath.

            The wrath I felt was my own wrath
             for I had fallen into my brain
             No one has heard from me since
              A mystery that will remain!

Details | Rhyme | |

True Grits

True Grits

When I was just a young man, I joined my nations forces
I was shipped to basic training and enrolled in some courses
Each morning they would march us up to the chow hall
Where we would get our breakfast and man they had it alll

One morning when I got in line, real hungry I did feel
So I got some eggs and bacon, and a big bowl of oatmeal
I sat down at a table across from a good ole Georgia boy
I still can see him to this day, I think his name was Roy

I grabbed some milk and sugar and poured them in my bowl
He just sat there and watched me like I'd just stepped on his soul
He took some salt and butter, to his bowl he added it
I just sat there and watched him, that combination did not fit

I finally said "you know my friend, that's really quite a deal"
"I've never seen salt and butter put on top of hot oatmeal"
He looked at me a moment, then in a lazy drawl
Said "Where I come from buddy, it's not strange at all"

"But I saw what you just did which I think is the pits"
"Putting milk and sugar on that nice bowl of grits"

Details | Free verse | |

a nomination rhetorical

An adnomination nation would be quite the agitation                                                         the illumination, hearing all speaking in agnomination                                                              would cause conversation discrimination to be a chaotic annomination                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        or the abomination, this would dominate the nation causing confusion.                                              The culmination, for instance telling one to drive off a cliff in his carnation,                       could raise a flood of damnations from all denominations

Details | I do not know? | |

Stay Away From Me...........

Stay away from me if you can
If not you may have to cry for long hours
That's what happened to the girls
Who ever loved me somehow

Pretty young faces were my weakness
I found it hard to stick with a single one
I had several at the same time
Sometimes I doubted to pick the right one

I never had anyone who was ever
Really devoted to me completely
It may be the reason why I had confusion
I even losed faith in Love many times

I tried to keep distance from the girls
Temptations comes more and more then
I don't have enough self control
I fall and it makes both sides cry

Is it what my real destiny ?
Then I want to fight with it
I don't want to be a loser
I am willing to change myself for a victory

Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Not Always An Eyesore

clutter to me isn't bad, because it:
gives me exercise when looking for things,
keeps me company when alone in the house,
makes my guests concentrate on me,
and hides my lack of artistic talent with interior decor.

Details | Burlesque | |

The Easter Egg From Hell

Easter fun
When I was a kid 
Family dying eggs,
Then my father hid

Each egg penciled
With a value...
5 cents,
A dime,
A quarter,
A dollar....

They were hard to find...
And if good money,
We'd holler!

But one year 
Things went awry
One egg could not be found,
And we did wonder why...

As a matter 'a fact,
We didn't even know...
It was missing....
Till the smell started to grow...

Three years later
We found that devilish egg,
Surely a pawn of the devil
What else could it be?
Could smell the son of a gun,
But could not see....

He'd placed it in the top track,
Of the livingroom sliding door
Well out of sight,
But an odor you could not ignore

So follow your nose,
If a fool you be....
Just don't dare...
Come crying to me...

I hate damn eggs anyway
Unless scrambled....
They're okay.....

So try something different
More imaginative for makin'
And try and hide,
A pound of bacon!

Details | Limerick | |

Worried and How

I saw a figure on the beach.
Was it a man or woman in reach?
The variance I know well.
However, I could not tell.
I do not dare to beseech.

Details | Monorhyme | |


Oh, how I wanted to write something today,
I thought that I might have something witty to say.
Alas, all my thoughts are at bay,
My mind, sometimes, even myself I betray.
So I will have to continue in dismay,
That I didn't write anything new today.
As the thought process has been washed away,
My words are stuck in a mind of clay.
But tomorrow is another day,
I may have written something by then I pray.
For the creative juices only flow this way,
I feel it, I think about it, then begin to type away.
My words are not memorable in the things I say,
It's just that I like to write some thoughts each day.
But when my brain keeps saying "Nay",
I just have to go with the old cliche',
"Tomorrow is another day!"

Details | Free verse | |

The Twilight Zone

No Lights everything's dark. 
The only sound is the beating of your heart.
The world is moving fast but your standing still.
Even when you try to move the dark holds you back against your will.
You see something move but when you reach out there's nothing there to feel.
Being here gives you the chills. 
But how did you get here? Well nobody knows.
I wish I could tell you the way back home, but only you can find your way out of the Twilight Light Zone. 

Details | Free verse | |



So many choices to make
My head aches
My heart pounds
My lips are so dry
Who decided to make it so hard
To allow us to choose
Trying to make up my mind
One is right
The other is wrong
It is up to me
Still they force me to decide
How am I to know
Do I listen to my heart
Are other people right
Hours pass as my mind falls apart
I have to choose
Which do I want
Coke or Pepsi
Neither actually
I think I’ll have a beer

Details | I do not know? | |

When Bodda Boom ! Met - Bodda Bing !!!

Years had passed still I had every bit of reason to grasp/

That true essence of what he said/
Yet there was many thought's inside my head ?
Like the time I drove my big wheel into the yellow Ollie !
I was speechless in thought and deed

Still I never bothered to take heed/

All I wanted to do was just speed !
That's how Bodda Boom met with Bodda Bing !!!
You all know what I mean ?
I even could hear that sweet little bird sing/

Bodda used to be a good friend until when
Bing came strolling into the town/
Many thought the freekin guy was such a clown
So nobody wanted him around/

Today Bing resides right next to The Jersey Shore
Last I knew he lived with a whore ?
Yet who knew/
About that two timer Boom/

He's the spitting image of Jessy James/
Then with his face I'd like to rearrange !
How could he do that to such a beautiful lady !
She's better off settling for Wavy Gravey !

So it was back to the past,
We had every reason to grasp/
That day when Bodda Bing met up with Bodda Boom !
Yet who knew ?

Details | Rhyme | |

Puff Puff

My mind hushed of its crowd of thoughts
The pains ive felt slowly strip away
Anger replaced with a numbing flay
Vision blurred with a cloud of smoke
Sailing me to the land of hope
Worries washed away
For now this is how I will spend my day
Spralled out on the couch,
Joint in my mouth

Details | Rhyme | |

Looking Like A Poet

Today's a big day
for this poet you see
For I'm having a photo 
Taken of me
It's the one they're will print
On the back of my book
So I'm trying real hard
To get the right look

With my beard fully grown
And my hair flying wild
I practiced some gestures
Poses and smiles
I tried all my poses 
Both standing and sitting
With an arm on my desk
Leaning forward, seemed fitting

But the beard made me look
like a Captain at sea
So I whipped out my razor
And sculpted a Tee
Some horned rimmed glass
To add to the look
And tried different ways 
Of holding a book 

I found a tweed jacket 
Down at the thrift 
With my writer's expression
It made me look miffed
Perhaps an old pipe
That I found in my coffer
To distinguish me from
Most, all other authors 

The photographer said
"Don't worry, I'll crop
I'll use the new version"
Of my Photo Shop
As I peered in a mirror
I felt kind-a lame
So I used a stock picture
that came with the frame 

Details | Couplet | |


Put your ‘best foot forward,’
But which foot is the best?

‘Put your shoulder to the pump’,
What pump? I’ am getting dressed.

‘Shake a leg now, come on.’
Shake my leg how? I find it is fixed on.

‘Wind your neck in.’
Now what is that all about?

‘The washing line is full’
But there is no washing out!

Oh life is confusing, I wish I understood
All these crazy sayings, but I really am no good,

I may not be the brightest light, set upon the tree,
My head is made of wood or that’s what they all tell me

But when I decide to flash, I make sure it’s really bright
Because when I am a flasher, I can give them all a fright.

Details | Tanka | |


Get out of my head
Stop reading this, please listen
What are you doing?
Are you really that intrigued?
Spoiler Alert: Read a book.

Details | I do not know? | |

How "Mary Nagy" Became "Maggie"

I don't know how it happened. 
I'll never understand.
When I got married and changed my name
I was in wonderland! 

My maiden name was ''Gasiewicz''.
Say that one ten times fast! 
So when I became ''Nagy''
I thought...some peace at last! 

It seems an easy name...
I'm simply ''Mary Nagy''.
But somehow through the years...
they've turned me into ''Maggie''.

I have to laugh about it.
It happens all the time.
I guess it is just natural
when two names seem to rhyme.

I get it in my daily life...
''Hello, How are you Maggie? ''
I just chuckle to myself
and say ''I'm Mary Nagy''.

I didn't think I'd get that 
mistake here on the net.
But, yep, It's happening again...
''Hi, I'm Maggie. Have we met? ''

Details | Light Poetry | |

My word you do look queer

You’re ninety two, well blow me down
I never would have guessed
You look so young and sprightly
And seem so full of zest
You’ve got your hair, its all your own
Your teeth are yours, not false
The way you talk, it’s obvious
Your mind’s intact, of course
What’s that you say, I’m sorry
Sometimes I can’t quite hear
It’s fifty two, not ninety
My word you do look queer 

© John W Fenn  22-05-2009

Details | Rhyme | |

Midnight Inanity

The hour is late and my mind has been spent
my head is hollow, filled with spider’s fluff…
No, no that’s not exactly what I meant,
but I’ve used up my word ration on… stuff.
I wrote all day long, I’m thinking in song
and poetic forms are coming out wrong.
Morpheus, I believe I need some sleep.
Tell me, where do you keep the counting sheep?

Details | I do not know? | |

All Through the Night

All through the night,
I hear bumps and creaks,
They give me a fright,
The nights full of freaks!

There's moaning and groaning
Scratching and sniffing,
Growling and hissing,
The heck am I missing!?

I look all around,
Trying to here,
I listen for the sound,
It seems to be near!

All of a sudden,
I'm filled with dread,
Turns out the sound,
Is under my bed!

With the greatest of bounds,
I turn down my head,
To look for the sounds,
Under my bed.

When I find the culprit,
My face starts to sag, 
It was simply my cat,
Playing with a bag...

Details | Rhyme | |

I Took Some Time With God

I Took Some Time To Spend With God…

I took some time to spend with God alone.
I asked for his blessing in my life and home!

I took some time to tell him that I love him!
I know that he listened and I can trust him!

It seems like yesterday I was a young boy.
There were many things I wanted to enjoy!

I enjoyed prayer with my lord and friend!
I felt his joy and peace within!

I didn’t realize how busy life would be…
I thought less of God,..  And more of me!

I’m thankful that I know a God who cares!
He’s never too busy for a moment to share!

He has blessed and renewed my mind!
He’s always so patient, loving and kind!

Thank you Jesus for the time we have together!
I’m looking forward to being with you forever!

You are the one that I will daily seek!
I need your direction each day of the week!

All praise and honor to you. is what I give!
I won’t forget you each day I shall live!

You’ve blessed and strengthened my life today!
You’re the truth, the life, and the way!

I shall sing of your praises with pure delight!
I know now that things in my life will be alright!

By Jim Pemberton

Details | Burlesque | |

Made in China

Everything I see
Is made in China,
How could that be?

Mom told me they were starving,
Eat up all my green beans,
So if they're really starving,
How do they have the means?

They make everything I own,
Everything that's for sale,
There's like 600 billion of them,
So how could they possibly fail?

The good old USA,
Makes nothing anymore,
Everything manufactured,
Comes from another shore

We sell bullshoot ideas,
Promises sure to fail,
What the hell is going on?
When did we de-rail?

Maybe we can make more trinkets,
And look for more Indians
and steal their land for a few pennies,
And if they're too smart for that,
We'll slip them a couple of "bennies"

We are the master race,
Or is that no longer true?
Come to think of it, guess not,
Not from the looks of you!

Details | Free verse | |

"Oh Boy!"

“Oh Boy!”

Summer was swirling in my head.
Boys, romance novels, teen mags were all that I read.
I just got my car and my license, enough said.
“So, you’ve locked your car with your car engine running, your car alarm sounding,
your air conditioner blowing, your window shield wipers wiping, your radio blaring,
your headlights are glowing and your purse is in your car too?” asked Officer Ted.

True story.

Details | Ballad | |

Sir Lancelot and the four Knights

Lancelot left his friend sir kay snoring
Took his garment and he wore
He rode into the woods singing
He saw a glade and the quartet as they swore

The quartet,loitering in power thought it was sir kay

Sir Sagramour charged at lancelot, they clashed
Lancelot stood and was down in disgust
Ector carelessly proceeded to him, but was slashed
The third,Sir Uwaine panicked, he looked in distrust

with the failure of othershe was encourage to play

He moved, lancelot knew him well he fell like an eagle
Finally Sir Gawaine clashed with lancelot Gawaine's spear melted
His horse reversed upside down and he fell into the jungle
The four Sirs condoled them selves until they discovered.

It was lancelot not Sir Kay, the knight full of sorrow couldn't rise up from the clay

Details | Blank verse | |

When I plucked out my brain, I saw

When I plucked out my brain, I saw
it had roundness and grooves.
So it was a wheel and fire.
It was also made to aspire.
There were literature and awe
when it would move
like an unlit seed in winter.
I would come to despise its birth.
It lacks a maid, a lover, and call nurse.

Details | Rhyme | |

Why I Write

I write to release all of the emotions I’ve picked up during the day,

I write to remember happy memories, and to make the bad ones fade away.

I write because I am in love. I write because I’m in pain…

I write because I have nothing to lose, and so very much to gain.

I write when my head is filled with fantasies, dreams and or goals,

I write because just like an actor, my mind takes on many roles.

I write my own songs, poems and sometimes silly little rants,

I write because I feel, I write because I can’t.

I write to show others like me that they are never alone,

I write to create another world that is simply my own.

I write because I am proud. I write because I’m ashamed…

I write when there’s a voice inside of me that can’t be tamed. 

I write at three in the morning when I can’t fall asleep,

I write because it is far better than counting furry sheep.

I write because I always have something to say,

I write because it has made me into who I am today.

Details | Light Poetry | |

No Your Not Civil At All


      Now let's see


                   Mixed messages sent

                                One for all

                                        Who made call ?

                                                   Unfair trades

                                                          Loved ones laid

                                                                      I'm still broke

                                                                                But won't choke


                                                                                                             Not for me


Details | Light Poetry | |


My head is a whirlwind of voices –
A myriad of pleas,
That call my name
And scream their lies,
And belch out their decrees.
The first one tells me what to do
In disagreement with ‘the other’.
The third one sides with number one
But the fourth goes with ‘the other’.
Then all at once, there is a brawl –
The turf’s inside my head;
And I’m held captive in my prison
By the voices in my head.

Details | Rhyme | |


I've tried to make words rhyme at the end of their stanzas,
but rhyme wasn't too perfect for those impersonal stanzas,
the Iambic pentameter was right, but it required rhyme for intensity,
so rhyme didn't agree with Iambic pentameter in every verse; 
I paraphrased every stanza with a rephrase,
but frustration stepped in with a must of an exact phrase,
oh, can't a stanza rhyme with syllables without a count?
Not exactly the rhyme of Terza Rima as in The Divine Comedy!
Was Dante a perfect rhymer or an impulsive dreamer...
while his love happily played the lyre?
And did that lyre ever fail Beatrice so refulgent and proud?
Or did lovely Beatrice break the lyre?
Then again, vowels became consonants ironically,
and vowels and consonants all out of idealism;
and stressed and unstressed syllables created a strange idiom...
of consonants and vowels spelling out eccentric idiopathy:
the disease so unknown in literature, not idiocy,
but idiopathy became idiosyncrasy...oh, you figure, reader!

Details | Rhyme | |

Surreal Bad Hair Day

I stare in the mirror with fear on my face
So late for work my heart starts to race
I move the old brush, striving for perfection
As I gaze in horror at this shambling reflection
Each move of the hand makes it look worse
I am in need of a stylist or possibly a hearse
I squirt on some gel and it hits the mark
I turn on the dryer and out shoots a spark
I run all around with my hair quite ablaze
While it looks very hot it will be no new craze
I search for some water and instead I find cheese
I find this quite odd as I pant and I wheeze
I glance at my hair and it appears to be fur
But it did not before, of this I am sure
I begin to wake up, things start to come clear
I can see plainly how I had nothing to fear
Now it makes sense, things are not as they seem
Isn't it strange of what an animal can dream?

Details | I do not know? | |

Beauty Queen or Garden Gnome?

You say that you can picture me sitting in my chair.
What is it that you picture when you look from over there? 
Do you envision beauty or an ugly, wrinkled hag? 
Does my skin give off a glow or do my wrinkles sag? 

It's strange to think you picture someone you've never seen.
I could be short and squatty or maybe tall and lean.
What is the face that's given to represent this poem? 
Is it of a beauty queen or just a garden gnome? 

Details | I do not know? | |


The baren bones lay bare across the fields of alliteration 
Unnecessary abstraction leaves the bourgeois man bereft of care
And yet, the obliviously self aware give cause to sight's deprivation
The enigmatic preparation gives many metaphors to compare
You rack your brain, paper tears, from too much stylization
personal interpretation brings to light the common ground, the things we share
But if your minds in disrepair, that's premeditation
Less is lost in coloration, but I don't think we're going there 

Details | Narrative | |

Tax Time Blues

I am all confused about income tax credits 
Now you ask about something called debits? 
This is really driving me insane with a pain. 
Do I get interest at all for capital gains? 
What can I tell you about common stocks? 
Now liabilities and stockholder’s lock box, 
Is this really a case of stretching my brain? 
All this taxes take our money with no gain. 
Balance sheet increase, this just sounds crazy 
Income statement and loss, this is so hazy! 
It feels like my eyes are just filled with grain. 
Thank you the day is done and it was no fun 
Look at this accounting spreadsheet again? 
Help me lord, now I know I’m going insane! 

Comments:  This is a free verse narrative poem.  I had intended to make it a 
sonnet on taxation.  It was written during an income tax accounting class.  Input 
was received from several students.  Some thought it was really funny, and 
others thought it was very serious. It was read by the professor the week before 
finals and was very motivational.

Details | Senryu | |

Medication Side Effect Usage


dry skin can make a 
superb etching art pad that
lotion can erase.


lose of appetite
can help you fit into those
chic designer jeans.


memory loss can
be an apology crutch,
when saying something.

Details | Acrostic | |


once there was an old man on a lane
he always had many cats
then he took a train
and went down another lane

Details | I do not know? | |

Why Won't You Read My Poetry?

I printed all my poems out and put them in a book.
I've placed it on the table in the hopes you'll take a look.

You know you'll find my soul there beneath the cover page.
You'll read about my pleasures, my heartaches and my rage.

I know you don't like poetry and this I understand
but how can you not want to peek into my ''wonderland''? 

If you would take a minute and peruse a page or two
I think you'd be suprised to read the thoughts I have of you.

I've tried to make it easy and I know you see it there.
I'll wait it out and hope you see these things I need to share.

I suppose I know the answer is in where I place my book.
I'll put it in the bathroom......then you're sure to take a look! 

Details | I do not know? | |


What a nice being you are
That everyone wants you
What a myterious being you are 
That nobody knows all about you
The more they know the less they understand
Though they search all day
Oh!what an evil creature 
Sin and corruption are your offspring
Yet every body loves you
Money!the good and the bad

Details | Rhyme | |

One famous night (a Quiz)

Ok so I decided, to try another quiz,
And see if you can guess, what the answer is.
It will be an easy one I promise maybe, 
Just follow the clues and look in the belfry.
Look out for the bells, don’t bump your head,
For this I would surely dread.
Ok so we all settled that,
Now look oh look for your hat.
You don’t have a hat, imagine that, 
I wonder who took it, that dirty rat.
So here we go one more time,
I am trying my best to make this rhyme.
You think it easy well not well not
Back to the answer I forgot.
Bats in the belfry two by two,
Lets think of something completely new.
A car you say, could it be,
If that is the answer, you get one free.
Now lets think of something famous,
Could it be someone named Amos. 
No-no, no-no that is too easy,
Oh my tummy is getting queasy. 
And just imagine on that night, 
The way he felt on his flight.
Oh my oh my there’s bugs everywhere,
Cant even imagine sitting in a chair.
Oh look oh look the bugs light up,
Don’t let them in your coffee cup.
Now that must be a clue you gave it away,
You know better than that, that will be the day.
Where do we go from here,
That word is familiar, it rhymes with cheer.
Lets just forget it and go have a beer.
So many clues you must be near.
Well I think he has taken a long haul,
Thank goodness he missed the wall.
And yes his first name is Paul.
Now I know you have it, not a surprise,
Or did I just pull wool over your eyes.
Well you don’t get off that easy,
Cause I am still feeling queasy.
It is three words, we are looking for,
Call me when you have it and nothing more.
Go back to the beginning, remember what was said.
Maybe something will pop in your head.
Yes the bats are a very big clue
Just remember this, their were only two.
The bugs the bugs what light does shine,
Maybe two to help this rhyme.
Oh that sounds so good to me,
And don’t forget the number three.
Three words it is, we need to know,
Wonder if the reverend will tell us so.
Oh my look what you said,
Just something off the top of my head.
But you almost spelt the second word,
How can that be, you are absurd.
I cant remember, was he riding somewhere,
On that night, its not clear.
Foggy it is, misty too, its so dark,
That’s how they knew.
The ride is known throughout the land,
And so famous is the man.
That’s all you get, and please done fret,
You have to know it I’ll bet I’ll bet.

Details | Free verse | |


Heart racing
Thoughts chasing
Round and round inside my head.

Fear increasing
Frustration peaking
Until my mind shuts down instead.

Details | Free verse | |


A heart can bleed an evil deed

Yet in nature lie dormant after the fall
A return to fear after all
The climatic edge toward their own demise
Still a word to the wise

A sin will always find you out
This ought to give the sinner something to bitch & pout
To light a flame in shouts of anguish after the fall

Barbed wire fences social advances & no it alls
Search for words left unaided in its time
The curb of enthusiasm and the sublime
In anguish the soul longs for rest

In being cursed with fear to never have rest

In anguish the appease of the blind

We live for vile excess

Still a challenge to be free is a quest for time...
To travel alone amidst darkened caverns with portals of instant doom
We have relatives that beg of you to clean your room
This does nothing to stregnthen the heart

To light the spark to what it was I have been waiting for
Vengence is mine the Lord will repay
Giving papal homage in which to bow the knee to pray
In papal square thwart in fear

An ego scream to shed a single tear
Yet no need to fear in which to hide
Along the garb of social compromise
A word from the wise

I shed a single tear to numb its inner pain
Yet not having her in my arms was driving me totally insane!
Cursed be the man or woman who will take no heed
To revere a sovereign Lord in which took the blows

The blood soaked sweat on his brow in timeless appease of want
No where to lie his head in homage toward the dead
Cursed is the one who will not be blessed
Our blessed Lord once again is putting you to the ultimate test

An eagle will fly through the sky in sense of direction
A hero's reflection in never second guessing
A heart that is fixed on the natural will never succeed so take heed!
Cursed is every man that hangs on the tree

Please let this be me?

Details | Senryu | |

Haiku Trauma Drama

laugh to comedy.
cry to tragedy. do both
get extra relief.

Details | I do not know? | |

The Way Things Be

The way things be
Is a cacophony
Of little bits and pieces

Nursery Rhymes 
And clementines
And hearts full of the season

Friendship and caring
And all of us sharing
Our love and life to give.

We laugh and cry
And hold dear ones close by
Till we can stand on our own once again.

Details | Burlesque | |

Anyone See Where I Put Part of My Face?

My bedroom wall and floor I did adorn,
With part of the face I once had worn
Now a real live Phantom I be,
Masked all up, so no one can see
Part bandage, part blood
You should have seen the flood!
Redyed my carpet sparkling red,
The color courtesy of my busted head

For several days I was a recluse,
For me it seemed of little use
To rise up,once again,
From my splattered bed,
To fall again and re-bust my head!

But clever tom is hard to stop
Even when his brain's a flop
I signed up for in home nursing
From my local escort service
This did not please that girl of mine
In fact it made her nervous
So she came over to help
Me see the error of my ways,
My head gushed more blood
For three more days
She left me in a bloody haze

Now in traction,
I pose no threat
Except to my mounting
Medical debt.

Details | Free verse | |

Tax Time

Tax Time
It's that time of year.
We all dread but wait for.
Tax time has come once more.
The mind goes in to number mode.
Deductions and credit 
What do they mean.
I feel a headache coming on.
Social security numbers are in the right spot.
Now to the bank for a refund I hope.
Oh no , No refund this year
There goes my house 
For Obamacare gets it all!

Details | Haiku | |

Lazy Raven

A lazy raven,
Walks across a fast paced road,
Why does he not fly?

Details | Light Poetry | |

Jack in the Box Tacos

My stomach grumbled
As i smelled the aroma

I was so hungry i could have eaten my socks
I got the 2 for' special
I bought 12

As i took my first bite
it was hard to slow down
So delicious so yummy

but what are these jack in the box tacos?
Are they chicken, beef or pork. . I asked Jeeves

He laughed and he laughed
Silly girl, he said
it is pig intestines, stomach and spleens

My stomach turned sour,
shock on my face

As I turned my head 
vomiting on my sleeve

I couldn't believe the violation
that had just taken place in my mouth

The only thing that made me feel better
was knowing you ate 3 more than me

Details | Limerick | |

I Must'a Been a Beautiful Baby...

I must'a been a beautiful baby,
but that ain't true any more
But try as I might, 
I'm still a pathetic sight,
One that no one can any longer adore

Details | Burlesque | |

The Sheakspeare Paradox

there's something wrong here,
something wrong with what we're taught
teaching us things that amount to naught
or preposterous suggestions we have "bought"

take Sheakespeare......
the guy used a feathered pen and ink
I doubt if he even had a spear!!!
such a notion, to me seems very queer...

and if, in fact, a spear he had....
why would he shake it??
was he some kind of crazy lad?

I don't understand, and never will,
the things they teach us are such swill.

Details | Blank verse | |

rainbow man

The Rainbow Man 

There was a man, who built a massive kaleidoscope,
I think he was a borderline communist looking for 
equality amongst colours…then he walked in to it. 
He was so enthralled by his finding that, yes indeed 
all are different but very equal, even white and black 
had an important place in the scale of shades. 

He didn’t come out to eat thought he could eat hues 
instead, which according to him, in his colour induced? 
delirium, tasted as marmalade on fresh loaf; so he was
left in his heaven and forgotten. Years later when he 
was found they discovered, a pink skeleton wrapped in 
non conformity.

Details | Burlesque | |

Small Sizes

How come 50 cents bags of chips
taste so much better,
than their big-bag cousins?
Or 7 oz. nostalgia coke soda bottles
have such a taste, oh, so devine?
I puzzle over such things,
I guess I'm just the wondering kind...
So it follows I should be happy,
To have this shrunken mind.

Details | Free verse | |

hand me a cold one

parking my dairy air in my chair i couldn help but hear a scream of fear.
as i ignored it and poppin the top on my ice cold beer once again i hear.
i stand to confirm almost spillin my beer to discover what's under my rear.
my chair of course but somethin i have come to realize and to fear.
i discovered what i heard it seems absurd so i call my wife to hear.
my chair spoke askin for a beer before i go to park my rear.

Details | Alliteration | |

Movie Anyone

Zesty zippy zombie sat checking out the Yummy yuppie Yankee that was wiggly 
wishy washy but wealthy as he could be. And even so vary vainly vaguely unfree. 
Till one day, a Tuesday I believe, the tiny twiggy twenty year old named Tracy Tori 
Tory was watching the toothy toughie trickster zombie sitting under the thistly 
thorny thickly ugly tree, watching our Yankee. Now strangely she was a strongly 
sturdy sweetie, and sweetly but swiftly suavely went to see the Yankee to let him 
know of the scummy squirmy spooky zombie checking him out under the seedy 
shaggy shabby little tree. Now to show his appreciation he was really ready to 
rarely ask this queenly quirky quaintly lady to promptly go purely proudly puddle 
popping on their way to a preppy peachy pearly pastry bar with oddly the only 
oldie oozy pastries in the nutty nightly nearly neatly town of Nietzsche where 
monthly a mystery mushy movie played. Since they were both loony lofty lefty 
laddie and lady and lastly the lengthy lively lovely movie was about to play, he 
keenly kindly knightly ask her in a jolly jiggly juicy way if she was iffy itchy 
interested in this imaginatively happy haughty history movie. Well in her giggly 
giddy goofy funny funky flirty easy earthy earthly duly dizzy ducky cutely cuddly crazy 
bubbly briskly bravely aussie arty amply way, said …….. NO!

Details | Verse | |

Ferry Tail

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
The smell was awful.

Details | I do not know? | |

O'Reiley and O'Riley

O'Reiley is dead and O'Reily don't know it
O'Riley is dead and O'Reiley don't know it
They both are so dead in the very same bed
And neither one know that the other is dead

Details | Light Poetry | |


its make you jump
and hump
and stump
with some
theyer bum
everything funny
they call you hone
they have the

Details | I do not know? | |

My Imperfections Thats Just Me

I'm a girl of imperfection, that's just who i am.

Sometimes I give up doing things when i don't think i can.

I'm a horrible liar but i sometimes still try.

They say my give away is something in my eyes.

They tell me I'm to passive and that i need to stand my ground.

Yet when i become a brat(altered for site)....

nobody wants me around.

I am Sagatarious and as stubborn as can be.

I bet on number 9 cus false hopes tell me it's lucky.

My number never wins but i play it anyway.

The dreamer inside me is waiting for that day.

I use bad grammer and stumble on my words.

Sometimes i talk so's hard to be heard.

Some friends call me pokey cus i move at my own pace.

I will get there eventually cus my life is not a race.

I'm a girl of imperfection...that's never gonna change.

Even when you know me, you'll still think i am strange.

Sometimes I'm frustrating and even annoy myself.

I take things for granted and I envy others wealth.

I love the smell of roses but i think Daisy's are the best.

Sometimes I eat the pettles and throw out all the rest.

I love to drive when theres more then just me.

Slug bug gets boring with just the car seat.

I have been known to snore when i sleep.

Bad dreams cause me to grind my teeth.

I was once told I was laughing hard in my sleep.

Still today i wish to remember that dream.

Forgotten forever like a stranger passing by.

The one that made me laugh without saying hi.

Occasionally im clumsey and I'm often being rushed.

Be careful with feelings are easily crushed.

I'm modest about my feelings so you would probrably never know.

But if you lie, cheat, or steal from me their sure to one day show.

I consider myself a passive woman...never lookin for a fight.

I was raised to use my words to stand up for what is right.


Details | Couplet | |

... roared for hours at the moon

She's a woman, he's a man
He likes sex and she likes fame.
Devil's voice is over them
Shouting hard: "I love the MAN"
Moonlight comes switching the ends
He's a woman, she's a man.
God all mighty goes to sleep
Devil comes and eats the chick
Man is sad, he wants revenge,
Moonlight comes switching the ends
He's a wolf, devil's a man,
Moonlight hides, they fight till end
The wolf ate the man at noon
And roared for hours at the moon!

Details | Rhyme | |

I Lost the Bet : Where's my Jet ?

I Lost the Bet : Where's my Jet ?

I went to Vegas made a bet
  takin' the cab: lost my Jet!  
Went  to settle up the score
What else is new? Lost some more!  
Nor did Blackjack go my way, 
I should have left early that day! 
I went to gamble; lost my shirt 
 Life's a shamble; now eatin'dirt     
I had a pocket full of cash      
sure was gone in a flash! 
played the craps; now eatin' scraps  
thought I was lucky, but to my surprise
  wasn't 7 or 11, it was snake eyes!  
  I'm sorry to say, I took the bet
you know how it goes;it's Russian Roulette 
I rolled the dice; I didn't think twice   
 went to Vegas lost my dreams; 
didn't stay away from the slot machines 
 Now I  pray for my shattered life;  
should have played Bingo with my wife!

McCuen Copyright October 2008

Details | Burlesque | |

Once Upon a Nuclear Bomb

I guess the idea is ludicrous,
bizarre, and truely mad
for me to want to build
my house atop a launching pad!

my luck, I'd be watching Merv Griffin
while below me lay more MIRV's
for some ridiculous reason
these idiot's would then declare it War!!!
I suppose you can well guess
what just then, I had in store

to reach above the highest clouds
and then climb and climb some more
above the needle nosed nose-cone
beneath me the rocket's roar

well, I suppose there's worse
ways to go
although what they might be,
I sure as hel_ don't know.

Details | Epigram | |

Murder in the Bakery

There was a murder in the bakery,
But all that was left was Doe, you see.

Details | Senryu | |

' Complicated ' 5th Senryu

‘ Complicated ’

Give Me Crème-Fill-Cake
Complicated Cookies Bake
Nuts, That I Can’t Take ! ...

Details | Free verse | |

collaberation vs compulation

ok, mom's right, it's "collaborate and copulate"
that's what I meant to say

i am the mom and when i say
it is right it is and
it is weird and i could
be wrong.

ok. we agreed, we only get 2 lines
and you have taken 4 lines
(and I can't even be poetic, cuz you done took my lines)

i was just trying to save paper
for green for the environment
i was helping you.

Helping me?
Helping me what?
ok, I'm usin more lines
You ain't green! You ain't even fair!!!!!!!

WELL, I AM A protester and i
has a been sitting in trees
a lot,  baby sister you better
be nice to your ole ma.

Ok, for 1, you ain't no damn protestor
And you ain't in no trees
and we is hooked on phonics
but we profound
for instance, I done found my lighter

see, i was honest for you and i hired
a surrogate tree hugger so i could
be with you baby sister. duh

Mother, when will you EVER learn to use CAPS?
I know you are honest, and silly, cute, lovable
and you smell good.
But you still broke the 2 line rule AND
if you break the rules, I break them better.... love kim

well,we won't worry about this anymore.
go take a mom.

P.S. Didn't even get to talk about the copulating and all.... Damn.......

Written by a Mom and Daughter just being foolish cuz we love each other

Details | Light Poetry | |

I got a gal a very fine gal

I got a gal a very fine gal
She’s blonde and big and busty
I’m always there to show I care
Whenever she feels lusty

I got a gal a very fine gal
She’s got a lovely figure
Perfect size and perfect shape
Wouldn’t want her any bigger

I got a gal a very fine gal
She keeps things neat and tidy
All ready for the weekend
‘cause working stops on Friday 

I got a gal a very fine gal
She likes to give me pleasure
Feeds me food that’s fit for kings
My gal is such a treasure

I got a gal a very fine gal
But sadly I’m a leavin’
I found out just yesterday
My gal’s a bloke called Stephen

Details | Verse | |

Breeding A Man

People look and critique ME,
By everything my words and my MANNERISMS.
It’s kind of hard not to have MANNERISMS.
When, I was raised by, A MAN.

I guess because my father says, 
“I should be A MAN”,
I have only my father to teach me
What, I need to be TAUGHT.
The toys he BOUGHT
To be for a child, or a soon to be A MAN.


People wonder why I look like A MAN.
I talk like A MAN.
I walk like A MAN.
I dress like A MAN,
I also date the same sex as A MAN!


Why am I looked down UPON?
Because my father wanted to have a SON
But, treated my like the son he never HAD!
All I knew was DAD
Why didn’t I HAVE?
The same toys my friends HAVE!


Why couldn’t I grow up to be NORMAL?
Why do people look at me like I’m ABNORMAL?
I am as NORMAL,
As the next ABNORMAL
Child, growing up without a CHOICE.
I feel pain too, I also feel REMORSE!
But yet no one feels my REMORSE!
Maybe it is their CHOICE.


I didn’t buy anything that was BOUGHT!
I learned to fight as my father bred me to,
 	And to fight, as he had FOUGHT!
But it was my father gain and my LOST,

Yet I still don’t UNDERSTAND!

Why? Was I born a girl?
Yet I was BRED A MAN!

Details | Concrete | |


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that wordscan
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Details | Rhyme | |


If you read my poem - Comfort - these next two might make more sense.  I have to 
say that the three poems make a good trilogy of chemo side effects.

My New Best Friend

My new best friend
Who stops you ere’ you go again
Who’s there at your bitter end

Mdailey	5/21/11

Imodium – Friend and Foe

Friendships come and friendships go
Imodium, just so you know
It binds you up and tightly so
So you never get to go
But get to go is normal – no?
And normal means you have to flow
Cause things build up and pressures grow
Well, pretty soon you’re bound to blow

So here I sit, relief I beg
I’m sitting on a powder keg!

Exaggerate? I guess I tend
But it worked out well in the end 

Mdailey	5/18/11

Details | Burlesque | |

Tom the Brainless Baker

Got a great recipe
For cheescake...
Decided to make it once...
My experience was to show me
I really am a dunce...

First I had to whip cream cheese
I threw it in a bowl,
Took out my trusty mixers
And thrust it in the hole

The cream cheese was cold,
The mixers started to smoke,
I guess I should have been told
Let it warm up or you will choke

The mixers got hot, the smoke
got thick,
Though not thicker than my head
A flame shot out,
I threw them down
A bit more and I'd be dead

So now it became a manual thing
An exhaused soon was I
I started to wish, for God's sake,
Why didn't I just buy a pre-baked pie?

Some time later I had to seperate
the eggs,
The yokes from the white,
I knew I was in trouble,
For baking at all that night...

Now it said to "fold-in" the egg whites,
I looked at this quite dismayed
How does one "fold" such a thing?
I now knew I should have prayed...

I should have read these instructions first,
I should have known I was too dumb,
To understand a baker's ways
My brain was surely numb

I scratched my head and wondered
How I was supposed to fold
This gooey messy slop,
I should have been pre- told.

I stared at the bowl for half an hour
My demeanor becoming ever more dour
My first attempt and here I was,
My bakery career already becoming sour...

So I called six friends,
Until I found
Someone to illuminate me
This would be the last 
home-made cheesecake,
That anyone would surely see.

So if you need a wedding cake,
Napoleon is at the oven
And if you wish an eclair,
You must supply me
with the ec....
And if you think I'll bake for you
I'll wring your scrawny neck!

Details | Free verse | |

The Final Days

Love has been left behind
For that in swine to depend
Chosen vessels of barbed wire fences left outside
In sorted desolation the swirl of the wind
Grand illusion where lying isn't necessarily a sin
Now where do I need to begin?
Fenced in challenge to its proverbial structure
Hence the vast opened door in the matter
Exploration in its equated investigation
The final days are upon us,
Marked on a blotted page yet fully intact
Creatures in the night sullen teeh to fright
Fragmented skulls having blood drawn off side
Shallow response to run away & hide
The final days elapsed within a shoulder to cry despised
Where wrong is right in the darkness of night to fight;
Sweltering sculptures made of clay in the night to sway
Whatever happened to love & a happy day
A dessensitized culture filled with its vapor of death
Yet I must confess;
Strange as it may seem with its gloom & doom at the scene,
Sold out faith in the hearts of those saints who will resist the lie
The lie that says I am what I do in reply
Marked on its blotted page yet fully intact
Grown men who lie in wait to decieve with greed
No notion of saving grace in sight
Never relent in ever giving up on the fight!

Details | Bio | |

I. U. D.

Another tom tale of madness, and a true story.

I have some health issues,
One is Ventricular Fibrillation,
A life threatening heart condition,
But, if truth be told,
An even more serious rendition
Is Advanced Stupidity,
I'm master of fools,
My supposedly high IQ
The most useless of tools,

I have an implant in my heart
To keep me alive,
You'd think such a thing,
I'd know like my wife

But stupidity is strong,
As a trait can surely be,
And I am an example,
For all others to see

Last time to the hospital,
I trip I know all too well,
They asked me at once,
What's up Mr. Bell?

I kind of get confused,
With all the acronyms
So I told them that I
Had not quite resolved

I had an I.U. D., I said
Thinking this was quite right,
And was quite surprised,
At the instant sight

Everyone smiled,
Or laughed out loud,
Seemed I was missing
The humor in this crowd...

It was not a heart implant
But I guess you already know
Goes to show you,
What a big shmoe...

They all had a laugh,
At my expense,
I hadn't a clue,
It didn't make sense....

Till someone did clue me,
What I had said,
I covered my head with sheets,
And wished I was dead!

Details | Burlesque | |

Tom's Trashy Tid-Bits

Yes, folks, it's happened again; the trash compactor backed up and spewed out 
all the following nonsense;
How come you only hear the term "scutch" in a hospital? "Come on scutch on 
over to the gurney.'  And that word, gurney, sounds like a 12 year old baseball 
I don't get no respect!!  Even the devil is trying to exorcize me from my home!
And my mailman, he knows about my financial problems, he just tosses my bills 
in the trash, with a jolly smirk.  I wanted to go to the Army to go to Irag- they said,
yeah, sure, and they paid my fare to Osama Bin Laden's Camp!
For Valentines' Day I get Sympathy cards!!  I cook hot meals for my dog, but he 
won't eat them, after he sees how sick I get from them.
I love thunder and lightning- everyone tells me If I get struck, it'll be my closest
experience to being alive.
I told my girlfriend, the ex-bride of Frankenfuter, that I ordered an organ.  She said,
"Good"- she's tired of feeling like a nun.  Then she asked me to teach it to her 
This is true, and truely embarassing; no one ever told me how to put on a 
prophelactic- I unrolled it first.  The torture was so bad I gave up sex for ten years.
(And unfortunately, my potential partners extented that for another ten!)
How come VCRs only work at 12:00?
Every Ambulance I take, the drivers make me pull it!  And they want me to carry 
them on the stretcher.  Then there is that "Bath Fitter" commercial, it might be just 
local, I don't know...These guys put new plastic facings over tubs, shower walls, 
etc.  But, what I don't seem to understand, this woman, homemaker, comments 
that she's so pleased, whenever she has company, or any visitors, the first thing 
she always does, and seemingly, ever did, upon their arrival, was to take them to 
her bathroom for a tour.....Am I missing something here?  I sure ain't gonna' visit 
HER!!!  She ought to be examined....
I always thought a parody was a talking bird with marginal school grades.
And so we end for the night, sleep tight....

Details | ABC | |



Broken hearted and busted by the woman I trusted
When she fooled with the bachelor next door.
He’s tall, good looking and works out with weights
Living off income from family before.

She claims it is I who must shoulder the blame
For her ongoing need for a another.
I worked to much and played to little
Though she still loves me like a brother.

So here I dwell in my sportsman’s camper
Parked at a rest stop just outside of town.
She got the house, child support and alimony
Which will last till I’m dead in the ground.

What was I thinking of when I married her
I must have been blinded by lust.
Thank heaven I’m free of her wicked ways
To search for my angel of trust.

I pray for a women to love me again
Though I’m stripped of my worldly wealth.
Lost in the haze of tears and sorrow
As my sadness overwhelms my health.

They say all is fair in politics and love
So prepare for the unexpected.
There’s nothing worse than to give of yourself
To wake up and find you’re rejected.

By Tom Zart

Details | Quatrain | |

Old Age??

My age is getting up there
middle age is knocking on my door
They say I shouldn't worry...
I'm only thirty four.

I'm noticing the wrinkles.
I sense that double chin
is creeping right up on me.
Fight gravity?? I can't win!

I use to feel so youthful.
I thought I'd never age.
Back then I planted flowers.
Today I'm growing sage.

Sometimes I forget my own age.
It's not that I contrive.
Like when I wrote my bio here

Is that a sign of old-age?

Details | Rhyme | |

My Avatar

My avatar can’t get me far
‘Cause she’s got just one eye.
Attempts to change her don’t work out,
No matter how I try.

I chose her ‘cause the photo is
A picture that I like;
But since she’s been uploaded
Seems the site has been on strike.

Her face is fine up on my screen
But in the image shrunken,
She looks as if she’s lost an eye
Or maybe even drunken.

I’ve tried to choose another pic
That will not have such flaws;
But “System Error’s” what I get
And I don’t know the cause.

So when you see my avatar
Reserve what you are thinking;
Imagine me in impish mode
‘Cause then I might be winking!

Details | I do not know? | |


Three pigeons in flight
One morning so bright
The wine bottle swallowed its cork
A stein of root beer
Lead crystal is clear
He purchased a farm in New York.                    

Details | Free verse | |

Broken Promises

The spirit of the age has tempered vile degrade
In desolation it's will torn wild
We send vomit into letters exposed to loosened fetters
Erupted in mass chaos in its plausible quest
The more we want so the more we in turn invest
We wait in idol fancy as some lost souls in Sid & Nancy
We hurt then tie the tube getting loose lube filled with screws
We plummage into a violent existance isn't it relevant?
We think were alone yet we never are cause God is still in charge
In social regard toward difficult matters that appease
We lose sight of love & social need
In foot steps drawn in the sand someday we may learn & understand
In columns of rescued menure pile in its claim
The world outside is totally insane
A casual encounter with a so called friend?
The next day you got Aids, now you got pain!
The choices we make to appease the mind
In columns of choiced red, blue & brown....

Broken promises through its shattered glass filled with pain
Broken promises  can easily drive a man insane
A court jester will amuse the crowd as long as there is an occasion
Perhaps society is in need of a break on a long awaited vacation?
Closed minded sentiments filled in vile affection
The novice gets hungry stops at his local 7 eleven
Promises made in the dark have come full circle into the light
Broken Promises with advant garde choices made in the night
Elaborate decorum in want of passage;
We last a minute & grieve as the savage!

Details | Free verse | |

In Need Of Therapy

Ulysses Rudolph Roberts
a Federalist by default
laid on the couch
and spilled out his guts
to a women he
envisions to be
the ultimate 
siren of shrinks.
With her hair in a bun
books, glasses
and that half buttoned
blouse thing.
He cried and he shook
over the battles he fought
and how everything
that ever happened
was never his fault.
After all
he would reason
he had built
the best fortress
in all God's Kingdoms
with ultra thick walls
turrets and draws.
The tallest
strongest and soundest
in all worlds.
So what if he had to kill
capture and rape
in order to feed 
the armies he made
he had God's blessings
His sacred grace.
Yet, Ulysses was
still cowering in the arm
of an old red couch
and crying out loud
It's Not My Fault!
as the Doctor scribed

Dean Walker

Details | Burlesque | |

I Wanna Be a Wrap Star

I got a gig at Macy's,
In the gift wrap department,
I wann'ed to be the star...
of this lowly store compartment,...
But outside this meager job,
I dreamed those dreams so big,
So in my apartment,
I'd hone my wrapping skills,
Prayin' wrap stardom would cure my ills...

Yo, bro, you'all hear me now?
I "axe'd" you to believe in me,
Now I'll show you just how,
I'll become "King a da Hood"
Even though some tell me how,
my wrap skills ain't all dat good

So here goes my openin' wrap
Doe'en tell me dat iz crap,
Yo, bro, wuz happ-n-ing
here an' now?
Cops chasin' everyone around
Can ya tell me Y? or even, maybe how?

Da' bee-ott-chutch dun left home,
Da' "bee-itch" said she wanna rome,
"Crack'in in some bore'd up buildin'
Stem pipe glowin' high flyin' red,
Soon enough, she be dead...

Don' bother me all that much,
Cause I got anodda' ho,
I'z kept 4 bee-in in such a clutch.

Details | Rhyme | |

What Shall We Do

What Shall We Do?

Shall we start with wine and women eating cheese?
Are there grapes in the forest?  Will our children use there knees?

Shall we fall from clouds and eat from a pan?
Are there apples in the ocean? On this can we plan?

Shall we choke on a bone and cough up a lung?
Are there chickens in the closet? Push pins for the young?

Shall we poke at the marrow and pick with a stick?
Are there dogs in the bathroom? Does your candle have a wick?

Shall we fire aloft and charge to the right?
Are there daisies in the court room? Is your hair on to tight?

Shall we spoon our tuna and wish at the well?
Are there roses in the board room?  Does your flower have a bell?

Shall we pack a loaf and wagons for the ghost?
Are there pigeons in the teepee? Is there fog along the coast?

Shall we board a ship and pass the outer isles?
Are there loonies in the camper?  Does it always end in smiles?

Details | I do not know? | |

Sweet Happiness

had a bad day so I took off my clothes
running and running through paths of concrete
and the sweet smell of ripe canteloupe on my head
free as a bird
letting myself finally fly
everyone stares as an automobile swerves to miss me
te bright sun shining on my beautiful skin
God intended it like this
"I'm a hamster! I'm a hamster!"

Details | Rhyme | |

What Do You Think?

I am so happy to see you again,
I wondered where you had been,
Only one problem there is,
We can’t go on like this.
I have to get some sleep,
You have to let me rest,
I don’t want to hear a peep,
I know what is best.

You come inside,
 I have no place to hide,
There are rules to be made,
I will not be betrayed!
You have to listen to what I say,
Then maybe we can make it,
Through another day,
But this is a fact,
I am glad to see you back,
But never again,
Can we go through this and win,
One of us will have to go.

Now you are words And I am man,
You have the largest words in the land,
I am still smarter, I know how to think,
And no you won’t, drive me to drink.
You cannot consume me,
Like you have in the past,
Not if this relationship,
Is going to last.
So there you have it, in a nut shell,
And if you don’t like it, go to……
ring the bell!

Details | Alliteration | |

Read This Fast!

So we’re going on a picnic with the pygmy, Pixie Poggly, being the quirky queenly 
quaintly quickly person she is and her friend a raunchy rascal reverently named 
Andy Bailey. As you remember he was in the Aussie army association, barely 
battling the banshee that were bawdy blackly bloody in the boggy boundary briefly 
in the outback, and lets not forget pixie’s perky prominent pal that is a bossy, 
bluntly, brainy, bookie, breathing brashly, balmy, bits of boogie bookie chatter to 
all the cheery, choicely, chunky crowd around his choosey, cheesy, cheaply 
choice of chummy spots, and in his coarsely cocky way, he coyly clamors crafty 
creepy words that really don’t say what they needs to say, but confuses even the 
gentle, ghostly, gaudy, gawky, gabby, gypsy genie down in the gaily, gabby, 
ghastly valley town called Gatsby. I hear even Fatty Fannie the fancy, fleecy, 
flimsy, flowery, and foxy maiden that has her doggie, “Dotty” watching her dreamy, 
dressy, downy, dowry. And to make things easier Pixie’s dumpy daffy deafly, dinky 
donkey named Dixie is going to carry all the supplies, and we are going to the 
daffy damply dainty little dairy where the daisies  grow daily in the deeply densely 
droopy grasses next to the hay, and it sounds like it will be a giddy, giggly, goodly, 
goofy, goosey, grabby good grammar in all its Grammy award wining grandeur 
Parts of this poem were copied from another poem that I cannot display here, but 
that I did write, it is called “The Picnic” and I thought this would be some fun 
reading for all here.

Details | Burlesque | |

Social Service Saviors

on line for 8 long hours
nervous and at a loss
how are their logistics organized?
what madman could be the boss?

they call my name, and I arise
"Sit Down!-Nevermind!" they bark
much to my surprise
my case manager's furrowed brow
gives clue to how he does feel
something's amiss in social service land
we're here to apply for benefits
we're not here to steal
I've gone through crap you'd not believe,
but this is just surreal

soon they called us aside
to admit their great mistake-
seems their internal communications
proved to be a sad, sad, sad, sad fake

now they tell me something
that I'm told that I must heed
I've got to come back twice more
to prove that i can read!
and if it turns out,
that i can read and write,
I must return again next day
to explain to them my plight!

I shake my body in disbelief
I shake and scratch my head,
for by the time these
Bozos get to help me
I'd be long buried, and long long gone-
 and very, very dead!

Details | Rhyme | |

Delusions of grandeur

With weary despair, I cast my glare amid the bottomless pit,
only to see your reflection, mirrored in it,
the whole of time, with just me to watch,
a beacon of light, waving a torch.

Chasing dogs through space...
With a child's playground, in an adults mind,
the cows are milking me, it must be time for tea?
Universal thought, with a timeless stare,
what delights do you hide under there?

So many aeons of civilizations,
all with just one realization,
to come to life with such dramatization, 
across chasms of time and canyons of space,
those dogs led me a merry race

Surge the transcendental shift, give your consciousness a healthy lift
and breeze through the Ether, with delusions of grandeur,
out among the worlds far flung,
You hear the wind? That's my song thats sung,
Feel the rhythm! Hear it pound?
subtle vibrations create stable ground,
with a twist of Higgs Boson, matter is bound!

The branches of life that spring from thee,
all the tentacles of a family tree,
and to think i'm still just a monkey!!
 Bring on peace and love and i'll go bananas ;)

Details | Rhyme | |


They grow so alike
In form and features,face and limb
Both looks tall and slim
They are john and mike

It puzzled kith and kin
Not a soul knows which
But waits on nature to teach
Which is which among the twin

This fatal likeness  of two brother
When there is an offence
causes confusion and argument,hence
one is mistakenly flogged for another

Details | I do not know? | |


Hello, I need a doodah, 
An idgy widgy thing
They come in orange, red or black
Tied up in yellow string
I don’t know if you sell them 
I only hope you do
The other shops don’t have them
They haven’t got a clue
One place, they had some whatsits
But they’re not quite the same
I’m terribly forgetful
I just can’t recall their name
If you have something similar
Then that might do instead
The colour does not matter
As long as it’s not red
Ok it’s not a problem 
If you haven’t got them in
But do you sell those thingys
They’re sort of long and thin.

© John W Fenn  10-07-2009

Details | Quatrain | |


Considering all the do's and don't's
in any given day
To savor all the in's and out's
in every special way

While messing with the up's and down's
to wait for them to bloom
Incorporating low's and high's
expecting them too soon

The stress of all the when's and how's
to labour for the love
The purpose of the then's and now's
to see push come to shove

For all the sense of why's and where's
connecting as they lie
The sureness of the if's and but's
to know there is no 'try'

Details | Burlesque | |

Dual Controls, Electric Blanket From Hell, Part 2

He was cold, and, suffering bad...
She was far too hot,
A cooling breeze...
She wished that she had...
So he turned up his temp,
And her's, she turned down,
And it's more than hard to believe,
Just how fast one can be turned,
Into a sad clown...

Further up, he turned,
His heat control number,
did he dial...
While she turned down,
On her's, praying for,
Relief, all the sweat soaked while...

But he just got colder,
While she started to roast...

But he just got colder,
While she started to roast,
It was fast becoming unbearable,
My dear aunt very near,
Turned to burnt toast...
And my favorite uncle...
Now near frozen solid...
In frozen fear he did clutch...
His oaken bed post,
Which, oddly, now seemed quite warm...
And this was, for sure, 
Never before the norm...

Now was the time,
For drastic action,
Each turned their temp dials
Up or down to the max...
Would'a been much more easy,
For each to learn, in a mere hour,
Just how to play jazz sax...

Now each was quite desperate,
And anguished beyond belief,
Burning and freezing,
There seemed no relief...
Who sold them this defective blanket?
Just who was that nasty thief??

Almost as if well practiced,
and seemingly on cue,
Each jumped out of their,
Respective  torture device,
Seemed all they could do,
Ready now to call an electrician,
Or psychic, for some sorely needed advice...

Next day, when their bedroom door,
They did finally unlock...
To finally check on inside,
Expecting some horrific shock,
Like the bed partly frozen,,
And part melted away...
Knowing that, if such should be,
They would have not a clue,
On just what to say...

The electrician soon did come than...
A $160 call...
For a 2 minute peek...
And even that was half stall...
One thing you could count true,
He was pissing off us all...

He explained to them...
The problem, he did diagnose,
It wasn't evil spirits...
It was not a ghost...

See each had,
their wires crossed,
The dual control temp dials,
Oh, brother!!!
And they had only controlled...
The temperature of the other!!......."

Details | Bio | |

Newlywed Cook From Hell

Oh, boy!!!  This one might be hard to believe, but is true, never-the-less.  

My last wife....
Scourge of my life,
Taught me thru culinary torture...
It was wise to hide her kitchen knife...

One time, we got,
From her uncle,
Who owned a hot dog truck,
A couple of pounds of
his franks....
It seemed like good luck...

I was sitting in the livingroom,
Not too much long later,
When an explosion I heard,
As if a grenade had been
tossed through the window....
Perhaps some demented
Newlywed hater...
It seems, she'd thrown
those franks,
Into our oven,
Turned on the heat,
Like a roaring fire,
Beneath a huge,
Demonic stew pot...
Of a witches coven...

She failed to notice,
These franks were wrapped
up in plastic...
That exploded when heated,
Yes, her cooking was spastic.

Another time,
She announced she'd
Cook us up some steak,
Went right to the cupboard,
Where I watched as she did take....
A large bottle of vegetable oil,
Poured it into the skillet...
And plopped in the steaks,
Into which she added more oil,
In an attempt to just fill it!
I watched in amazement,
My eyes growing large,
I attempted to think up,
A way for me, of this meal,
A manner to dodge...

Oh, she was quite a pip!!
To her, gourmet food,
Was a Wise Poato Chip!

Details | I do not know? | |


L- Like it out leave it  
I-  It's all the same to me 
K- Know what I mean? 
E- Even if you don't like it, hit the button and think of all the joy it may    

Details | Alliteration | |

A Poem of No Purpose Done for the Sake of Writing

Dry skin caused by frozen winter winds
Caused by over washing
Too much caution given to cleanliness
The rough ridges distinctly defined
Will soon go away with care and time
These epidermal deserts
Are greatly in need of an oasis
Some lotion for lubrication
To make the redness in the deserts turn to tan
And now I wonder, why?
Why am I writing about my hands?

Details | I do not know? | |

IN circular round

in{-ane, -sipid, -gestible, -digestible, -satiable}
just kidding!
not !!
not, not.
who dere?
aw, go {expletive never inserted} myself.
{oh joy, almond joy, enjoy, killjoy}
go back to the start where i am

Details | Acrostic | |


Little by little befuddled
Overwhelmed; off track or muddled
Scatterbrained; astray and puzzled
Tapped out; tore up or bumfuzzled

Details | ABC | |


Zelda Yadkin Xerox was very up today 
stumbling round quoting poetry often, 
ninja mouse lurking, 
knuckles jammed in Harry Gummies foot
 echoed dangerous 
content bravely abated.

Details | Narrative | |

Smart Woman

It was the evening before Thanksgiving,
so off to the biggest store in town I went, for a few items,
I needed to complete my Thanksgiving Feast.
Everyone was grabbing, and hurrying to get out.
I was totally out of my comfort zone, 
for I hardly ever come here,
except to buy a few things, you don't find anywhere else.
Then there he was, lost as a goose in a thunder storm,
his wife had played a severe trick on him.
A list he held in his hand for the items she needed.
I heard him talking to himself, so I stayed close behind him,
just for the entertainment.
Marshmallows, does she want the big ones or the small ones,
oh no, couldn't put that down, so I'll buy both.
Cherries, now where are they, probably way over on the other
side of the building.
Just then he turned around to look at me,
am I blocking you, if so I am sorry, but I don't know 
where anything is, and with this crowd in here, I can't
even think, much less find anything.
No, I said, you are fine, I am just as lost as you are,
that's when he told me, my wife played a cruel trick on me.
She wanted to come early, and get this over with, but I told
her, what is the rush, well, I will never say that again, ever,
and if I get out of here alive, you will never see me pushing a buggy
in here again without my wife.
I don't know how she does it.
I thought to myself, smart man.
We have to give his wife credit, smart woman.

Details | I do not know? | |

Busy Mind

I sit here and write 
in my book tonight
Wonder why others
have everything right
I wonder about things
i have no control
My minds always going
it does nothing slow
Day till night
i find things to do
And never stop
till I'm faithfully through
The stress of life
can be redefined
Just for a moment
give it some time.

Details | Bio | |

Truth Hurts

Although they might say honesty is the best polices. Don't tell the mess to me, 
honesty hurts and I already do enough hurting to me. Don't you ever fill that you 
cant tell the truth just say it because you care and not because of a bad attitude. 
The truth really hurts, And angry people are always willing to help spread the 
good word to hell with your feelings and to any body who cares. I can take your 
honesty if I thought you were truly my friend yes I no that's messed up. But a 
friend wouldn't knock a friend down just to build himself up. Never the less I will 
take your honesty if you must give it to me. I appreciate the time it took you to think 
about me, but with all the good that honesty can bring sure seams funny how it 
can causes so much pain. Although they might say honesty is the best polices. 
Don't tell the mess to me, honesty hurts and I already do enough hurting to me. 
Don't you ever fill that you cant tell the truth just say it because you care and not 
because of a bad attitude. The truth really hurts, And angry people are always 
willing to help spread the good word to hell with your feelings and to any body 
who cares. I can take your honesty if I thought you were truly my friend yes I no 
that's messed up. But a friend wouldn't knock a friend down just to build himself 
up. Never the less I will take your honesty if you must give it to me. I appreciate 
the time it took you to think about me, but with all the good that honesty can bring 
sure seams funny how it can causes so much pain. 

Details | Free verse | |

The Rebooting Boogie

Late one night
I decided to write...
While musing in silence
My computer was in defiance

As I scooted to the keys
My thoughts began to be un-eased
As the program stood still
I kept rebooting until~

I realized what was happening
That ole boy needed new programming
He kept doing the rebooting boogie
‘Til every virus was gleaned, and tossed away-- Happily
There’ll be no more of that boogying today

Details | Rhyme | |


Dental work, dental work, it never seems to end,
Railroad tracks, bridge and gap, till polygrip your friend,
Flossing here, brushing there, tooth decay averted,
Rinse the mouth, fresh and clean, our taste buds alerted,
Though we brush, sometimes floss, some germs will still remain,
Business lunch, late night snack, the germs now play their game,
What the heck, who's to say, just how to live your life,
Do your thing, have a fling, who needs the extra strife,
Drills and picks, dental aids, we see them twice a year,
So have some fun, pizza run, and chase it with a beer.

Details | Free verse | |

No God

If I could spill my soul
onto the floor or a skillet
let my heartbeat liquid 
and spell out a creation song

I would yell, yell, yelp!
Yelp, about my unfolding self
and just how magnificent
I have become because Jesus

Christ, Krishna, Muhammad,
told me something beautiful
and that fragile bubble
which protected me, myself

burst into reality and me
just I may not my self and I
crumble to the science
of no God without proof.


Dean Walker

Details | I do not know? | |



I’ve never seen its like before
Says it’s very rare
Only a half-dozen left
In the high regions of Tibet    somewhere
Covered with coarse    thick gray hair
Half sheep    half bear
The Sheeber
Is this a joke?
A Disney craft-shop reject?
I simply stand and stare
Back at me it stares
As though I’m the joke
I’m the Disney craft-shop reject
We stand like this
Stand and stare
For an hour it seems
At last it cannot bare the stare
This Sheeber
And lets me know it
Emits this crazy howl
Half bleat    half growl
I get the hell out of there!

Details | Burlesque | |

Where Am I?

Hey, I'm a NYC guy...
Where am I?
What's these tall green things all over?
How they get in the way of another begoda...
And,  this air, smells so funny,
Where's the soot, the grime,??
It's even sunny!
And where's the crime?
Haven't had a house break-in yet,
I'm starting to pine...
Where they hidin' all the buses?
The subway I can't find...
I'm startin' to think...
I'm losin' m mind..
And these huge bumps in the ground..
Are they ground mumps?
And the puddles so big...
I'm amazed what they do..
To cross those puddles,
They use a canoe!
Maybe I'm just confused,
With vision that's bad...
But this is the worst nightmare,
I've ever had...
My God, ya' gotta drive to find a MacDonald's...
And that makes me whine...
Ain't these yokels 'bout's here,
Know how to fine dine?
And the people are weird,
They must be quite sick,
They're walkin' around smiling,
Like they found a crack stick...
Think I'm gona go back home,
Where I understand things,
And I can be me.

Details | Light Poetry | |

Confused Poetic Travels

I entered the poetic cave.
Lit all the alliterations I could, so I could see.
I had hoped for a burlesque show, but settled on ordering a sausage canzone 
from the pizzeria.
When I was in Vietnam, under Carpe Diem, he would often reflect on the visual
power of the Nazi Chatushka.  I thought it was a cinqku, that if we went before the 
Clerihew, the mob would not attempt to implant us in concrete.
As I watched him adorn his head with a crown of sonnets, the crystalline form of 
the cave around us became evident.
I drove my Diamante outside in hopes of catching a prehistoric didactic take to 
the air.
Sadly, my diminished hexaverse was overpowered by three Japanese martial 
artist witches in their doduitsu.
I ordered a double dactyl, and downed it in one shot......

to be continued.....

Details | Burlesque | |

Somewhere, Over the Brain-slow

It went right over my head,
My brain is surely dead,
Too much bull I've been fed,
Now I'm seeing red

So, please talk down to me,
That's the only way I'll see,
What you want me to know,
Because my brain is slow.

Details | Free verse | |

Dual Controls, the Electric Blanket From Hell...

This is a true story, a legend in the family, as related by my favorite aunt and 
uncle awhile back.  It happened, I'm not smart enough to make something this 
bizarre and humorous up....So, strap in,.....Here we go!...!!!...

"If you want,
to stay warm at night...
Just get an electric blanket,
They're "out of sight"!!

You can turn down,
The house's temp...
And still cuddle up warm,
In spite of the winter's
Cold hearted contempt...

But if you get one blanket,
With dual controls,
For husband and wife,
And even if, you have, a very long life,
Make sure you understand,
All the blanket's dial setting roles...

See, my aunt and my uncle,
On one cold winter's night...
Went to bed together,
And turned off the light...

They set their controls,
The way that they did like,
But trouble soon brewed,
They were fast approaching...
More than one "yike"!!!!!

Details | Light Poetry | |

Coulda Woulda Shoulda

Coulda Woulda Shoulda

I Coulda Woulda Shoulda
When I Shoulda Coulda Woulda
But I Shoulda Woulda Coulda
So I Woulda Coulda Shoulda
And I Coulda Shoulda Woulda
But I Woulda Shoulda Coulda
So I didn’t!!!

© Eugene Harvey

Details | Blank verse | |

state of silence

when an ambitious hand 
and a rushing mouth 
cast a canopy of ramblings 
or utter distress 
and anxiety spoills the ground,
the state of silence
 from she we think is a fool
 is an answer to wisdom 
and a conquerer of might
for where does the slow movement of a cat leads the ratty rat?

Details | Haiku | |

A boy watches me,
Then runs Frightened to mother,
Am i so very ugly?

Details | I do not know? | |


                   The world has heard of the golden years
                            Is it a myth or a phrase
                   When do they begin,when do they end
                    When you are young you can run the race
                    But when you're old you can't wash your face
                     Your bones ache in pain at night
                      Your joints are rusty ,and you lose your sight
                     When they tell you about the pot of gold
                      At the end of a rainbow,you can't hear
                                 Must be the golden years.          

Details | Burlesque | |

Idiot Lights

The trouble with idiot lights,
You see, it’s a problem
That goes, perhaps,
Farther than me.

There's abundant ignorance
That floats in the bog
In a kingdom where machines
Can measure breath’s grog.

More than vast numbers
Aggregating in crime,
There's a feeling that
What is happening.
Somehow, isn't mine.

Big obvious red light, birthed
a message, idiot message on the dash.
Just the observation
Almost made me crash.

The warning, foreboding,
Read simply "check gauges.”
So sitting at the light,
I scanned all the stages
With the sets of information
A car shares on its pages.
I sit, quietly confused,
But the intersection’s raging. 

The gas tank wasn't empty,
The oil read fine,
The engine not hot,
Battery volts seemed in line.

Responding to the honks,
I mosey down the road.
The engine’s working fine,
But my head held quite a load,
Of all the problems awaiting
For the idiot who couldn't interpret
The idiot light code.

. . . No problems yet,
A small sigh escapes
But I am mentally set,
Will I fall for the bait?
I would make a sizable bet
That I am sitting
On some universal debt.

Then as I was using
My copier that night,
Beeping techno-barking message,
Really set me to a fright.
A word chain shackled,
Scrolling a last request
"Printer ink low."
Sounds like an open book test.

Try as I might
Following precious words in sight,
Then a new unique message:
"Insert cartridge right."
Just follow instructions?
I’m ready for a fight.

I opened HP's lid
To see what was the matter,
Then came a horrible clacking,
Hardware techno choir prater.

I shut the lid, and said a quick prayer,
Hoping God could save me from taking a dare,
And shooting the damn contraption
Right then and there.

With a web site visit, and many more clicks,
I found a FAQ answer.
My problem would be fixed.
There within the info sheet
Set my big break:
“Think about it, Dummy,
Did you remove the pink tape?”

So now, I sit here, contemplating,
Perhaps, I should consider
Getting out more, and dating.

The odds are better
. . . with two idiots instead of one.

Details | Rhyme | |


Never ever I hop 
Not even I prop 
Never so I top 
In fact I flop 
No better I bop 
No never I stop

Details | Verse | |

Can't Stand It Anymore

Can’t Stand It Anymore

Something’s wrong
Oh, it’s you…

I dislike your choices of what to wear today
I am put off by that complexion
I cannot stand that way you stand
With that superior air about you
I really can’t accept that way you giggle like it was a joke

I strongly dislike your straight A average
I really loathe your humor
I cannot stand your bubbly aura
I just can’t deal with your perfume
I absolutely abhor your choices
Of what you wish to pursue

I cannot stand your tediousness
I really hate your smile
I absolutely loathe your eyes
As equally as I hate your friendly persona
I just can’t look at that stupidly perfect little face
I can’t live with your little moans and groans
And especially not that annoying wailing you make called crying

I hate the fact that you’re constantly involved
I hate that little noise you make when bored
I hate your blatant honesty
I can’t stand the way you speak in riddles
I hate how you look at me most of all
Because of how you look at him

Details | Free verse | |

The Door Is Ajar

Someone recently said something about,
"the door is ajar"
I scratched my head and challenged him,
" A door is a door, and a jar is a jar...
Where'd you go to school?
How'd you get as dumb as you are?"

He started to argue,
But I'm too clever for that,
Next he'll tell me,
"Tell people to go s__t in their hat!"

Now, who's gonna wear a hat like that?
I think in his belfry,
He's got a bat...
And what is a belfry?
Is that when I fry an egg?

And this "chicken and the egg" debate...
Oh, I can't wait,
To remind these fools once more,
Silly, they both come from the same store..

And, someone explain this
"Man in the Moon" junk??
That's hard to believe,
unless he got a shovel,
Cause the moon is rather hard...
That anyone still believes that
cheese thing,,
Must be some kind of retard...
And, besides, everyone knows,
That's where Jackie Gleason goes...

And the early bird catches the worm?
Then why ain't the afternoon birds
all dead from starvation?
And why would a worm get up early??

And hell haveth no fury
Like a woman scorched...
I disagree, anyone down there
Is gona be a bit toasted..

Kill two birds with one stone??
Gotta' be a boulder than,
And they ain't easy to throw...

The journey of a thousand miles,
Starts with an instep??
What do you gotta step in??

One in the hand is worth
two in the bush??
Really??  You mean thorns,

Dead men don't tell no tales??
They don't say anything,
far as I know

Something good is worth waiting for???
Only if it pays  interest...

I don't know...
I guess you all think I'm mad...
I'm not angry,
Just confused...

Details | Rhyme | |

Could it be? Was the question

Could it be? Not to sound too poetic
That I’m alone, unwanted and pathetic

Well if we sum all the facts in our hand
Then we may find near the answer we’ll land

Well I am as we speak writing poetry
Something that should be left to Pete Doherty

Or maybe a libertine of days gone by
For they understood romance would not die

Could it be? Was the question asked
Thus my self worth is diminishing fast

You see I feel a shadow of my forma
And I’ll try see if I can inform ya

My phone rarely bleeps or dose shudder
For my life has seen much more colour

It was much more red, yellow, green too
If I’m honest now it’s much more blue

They used to say I was “man about town”
Always a wink, a smile. No frown

The tail is classic, once a light burning bright
And now it has faded I give up the fight

Hang on! Bleep, bleep check inbox
Reads: Phil get to the party tonight rocks.

Details | I do not know? | |

Ugly Betty Just Isn't Me

I’m sick of being an Ugly Betty wanna be.
I have better inside of me.
To hell with all that being pretty inside.
I think the outside should matter.

All these magazines tell me who to be.
They tell me how act and who to like.
Always talkin’ about the newest thing.
To hell with them and what they think. 

I am me and they can’t change that.
They want my body, 
And they want my soul.
All they’ll ever get is my dough,

The plus size is the new in,
It seems a sin to be thin.
One thing these models don’t know,
It’s not worth the dough.

All these shows tell me what to do.
They tell me how to act and what to like.
Always talkin’ about the newest thing.
To hell with them and what they think.

I am me and they can’t change that.
They want my body,
And they want my soul.
All they’ll ever get is my dough.

No need to be a Barbie doll,
Or anybody else.
Be your own true self
Don’t sit on anybody’s shelf.

Details | List | |

Yet More TV Guize Listings

"Sappy Daze"- the Fonz gets a job in a Vermont maple syrup factory and faints 
from the fumes.

"Fiends"- The gang decides to desecrate a cemetery.

"The Tyro Banks Show"- newly formed banks struggle against the established 
giants in this hilarious spoof of "Night Of the Living Deed"

ESPN-"Halls of Flame"-Firefighters struggle to contain a blaze at the 
Cooperstown Museum of Baseball.

"Dog, the Bounty Hunter"- An ugly man with unruly hair and a tubby wife trains his 
Yorkie to locate paper towels.

"Malcom Took a Piddle"- Malcom wets his bed.

"Forensic Smiles"- Crime investigators investigate 6 corpses found with lurid 

"Hannity and combs"- 30 boring minutes of Hannity styling his hair.

"Crops" (Unreality)- In Atlanta, farmers deal with renegade bol weasels.

"Larry King Dead"- the audience is spared another pompous tirade.

"That 70's Snow"- traces the birth of the cocaine market.

"Daily Mess"(Religious Outrage)- A tour of tom's house...pray for him!!

"The KIng of Queen"-A NY man becomes a transexual.

"KIng of the Bill"- Tom stacks 9 months of bills in a corner and ignores them.

"Star Dreck"-Boring, frightful look at William Shatner's singing career.

"Sanford and Stun"- Fred zaps Grady with a tazer.

"Ompha Windfree"- Oprah plays the tuba with the help of bellows.

"Rogaine's Heros"- The hairless POWs order deli specials.

"The Stopping Network"- The only network devoted purely to the sale of pilfered
stop signs.

"MSNBC Instigates"-the network prods a confrontation between Paris Hilton and 
Nicole Richie, over who can claim the lowest IQ.

"Twilight Bone"-Forensic scientist Quit-zee is forced to work overtime at night.

"Married With Stillborns"- Al is delighted to be child-free, thus keeping all of his 

hope ya got 1 smile...

Details | Ballad | |

Early Riser

I work with the lord on sunday
I call this my fun day
For all the people I see 
and the little boys that get close to me

Father this and father that
I hear all day as their on my lap
not again father a few may say
dont worry boy soon enough you'll be gay

learn to like it, hold your breath
or god will make you soon find death.
god can watch or turn the other way
Alls I know is......
God bless Sunday!

Details | I do not know? | |

The Answer to the Quiz Poem

Guess some are wondering what the answer is,
To that little poem of a quiz.
Since we all don’t know Liz,
And even I don’t know who she is, 
Then the answer to be, so simple you see 
Is at the end of this quiz, so hurry, hurry.
How can I tell you in such a way, 
that you can enjoy what I say.
Well Al my Pal wanted something funny,
So tried my best without spending money.
But money brings up a hint to the answer,
don’t get excited it’s not a banker.
Now let me see, where to go from here,
Think there’s a grin from ear to ear,
Is that you Al with that big ole smile?
Well glad there’s laughter for a while.
Back to where we’re suppose to be,
Thinking of the answer don’t you see.
We now have one clue more then we had,
And that ain’t too bad.
Lets gather together all we got’s,
Am so happy no one’s distraught.
There’s something about the color green, 
Maybe something we wear in spring.
The four leaf clover might have been a guess,
But not the answer to this test
But relates to what we are thinking of,
Here comes the answer from above.
Dover oh Dover, many miles away, 
Knows the answer, but will not say.
Has anyone thought of a pot of gold?
This relates I am told.
If you haven’t guessed by now,
Then here’s the answer, don’t have a cow.
Chaun is the last part of it his name.
Look real close to find a Lep,
Then all that is left is a Re.
Putting them together gives the answer to be.
They are scrambled a bit,
But don’t have a fit.
Think of the pot of gold, where he sits 
We’ll just call him Leprechaun.

Details | Bio | |


Another true tom tale:

It was 1984,
Long ago I know,
That I had the urge to travel
And to San Francisco
I did go

With wife and two sons
We had reservations
At a classy hotel indeed,
And at $279. a night,
You'd think you they'd feed

The room was nice,
though small,
The price did shock me so,
Because until we got there
The price I did not know

Long flight, long day,
We were tired, 
and settled for the night,
Turned on the TV
And then did notice I,
A small refrigerator...
I wondered the reason why

A key that we had gotten
Opened up real quick
And what I found inside
Made me realize I was a "hick"

Inside beer, soda, scotch
Candy, treats of every kind
Well, at $279. a night,
I figured this was just fine

We had a feast, 
I had several drinks
I thought how thoughtful
But somewhere in the back
of my mind
I hoped it was no jinx

Next morning at 
the included breakfast buffet,
Somehow I mentioned
to another guest,
How nice the in-room
refrigerator provisions
he looked at me
like some crawling pest

"Those are not free!"
He informed me
"You pay for every bit,
And at the prices of
this hotel,
You might be in deep sh_t"

Well we checked out
right after breakfast,
Had to wait as
They took a mini-bar
Seems we had consumed
$86.00 worth
Of what we thought was totally free!

Details | Dramatic monologue | |


Batch of wet leaves,
We didn't catch,
Went flying through
the air, our foolish snatch
Landed on our butts,
Giggled as we cried
Seemed so God damn simple,
Now with such sore thighs
Jarred my oral pain as well,
Damn, ain't thing going oh, so swell?
My Lamborghini smashed my Porsch,
My new house did burn down,
I tried to cry out in sadness,
But could not make a sound.
My wife ran away with my secret boyfriend,
Didn't seem to matter to him,
That it was my wife,
Or for she, that she stole him
I had a whim to burn down the house
With me inside, like a useless mouse.

I lit the fire, and enjoyed the light
Until the flames obscured my sight.
Hot it got, and charred was I.
Within five hours,
I would die.

Details | ABC | |

Some Would Say

sometimes it comes to me  
and it flows so naturally 
like rolling off the tip of my tongue
and that's when you can just
write and write 
without much thought 
but then there's the times 
you have to dig and dig
and it's a fight 
but finally you come up 
with something to write
and in your mind
hey this is a delight 
but what about others
and their insight
some would say i could use
a shrink 
tell me folks what do you think
or did you miss it
when you blinked

Details | Burlesque | |

Tom's Tid Bits (Yet Again!)

How come they call it Labor Day when nobody works?
And why Pool-Table?  Where's the diving board?  the water?
How can you play "Draw-Poker" without paper and pencil?
Do Negroes really have bigger knees?
And Flashlight: A bright stage-light to highlight naked joggers?
I went to IHOP; I was so disappointed, the bunny was not in.
Is Racquet-Ball really that noisy?
Were Sanitarium Napkins designed for a psych ward??
And Condominiums: good Lord, they advertise prophylactics?
And Near-Beer; how close do you have to be?
And Poetic Terminology- methods to end a poem?
And Medicine Ball; how do you know what it's dispensing?
Bi-Polar? I got mine free.
Feedback?  Is it true some people have their mouths behind them?
Dry-Runs?  Diarrhea without the usual Sh_t??
Penn & Teller?  A bank teller's sordid affair with a chained down bank pen. 
(Caution, Sadism and Explicit Ink scenes)
Burn a CD?  What kind of moron is gona burn his Certificates Of Deposits?
Satellite?   To help one mount a horse in the dark?
Athlete's Foot?  Those who say they have Athelete's Foot should be prosecuted 
for maiming ball players.
Milk Of Magnesia?  Who is she?
Country Fair?  I'll wait for the Country Good!
How come it's a plus if a vacuum cleaner sucks?
Sometimes I feel left in the dust; I mean, even spiders have web-sites!!
Sasquatch?  A hairy ape-like creature who sat on, and crushed, his Timex watch.
Lunatics?  I hope Nasa provides our next moon explorers with insect repellant.
Politically Correct?  An oxymoron for sure!
Botswana?  A neighbor wiyh yacht-envy.
Coconut?  An insane piece of chocolate.
Congolese?  A structured rental agreement for certain Africans.
Decuple?  Releasing railroad cars.
Desultory?  Removing snide remarks.
Devote?  Removing one's ballot.
Dormouse?  A rodent tending the door at a rat nightclub.
Drag Queens?  What a horney King does with his reluctant wife.
Episode?  When a farmer named Epi plants his crops.
Fiddlesticks?  Frozen fish product with musical abilities.
Gnomish?  A knish for Jewish gnomes.
Mothball?  A part of a moth's reproductive organs.
I saw a commercial recently for "Extenze", to make "a certain part of a man larger"
However, I misread the dosage, and took far too many.  Now I have to drag "that 
certain part of a man's body" along the floor behind me.
I had a friend who tried it too....but it seems to have had a misdirected effect; now 
he has a 6 inch long big toe.  

more tomorrow


Details | Lyric | |

My Choice

My world's falling apart
But I can't stop it
If it doesn't get better,
I might throw a fit.
I've lost my heart, 
And I'm losing my voice
But the funny thing is,
This was my choice.
I chose to be me
This evil person inside
And it's only getting worse
And I'm no longer mine.
I've changed so much
And I can't take it back
It's no use
This is the last.
I've lost my heart
And I'm losing my voice
But the funny thing is,
This was my choice.

Details | Burlesque | |

Can You Explain this to Me?

maybe I'm missing some logic here
or I'm just not in good tune
cause another puzzle hits me
you'll hear it all to soon

I'm watching TV and,
Guiseppe Franco then comes on
explaining how this hair tonic
sold on TV for 20 bucks
is the same thing he charges stars
600 dollars, this brings me yucks!

first of all, this hollywood hair legend
sprouts hair that makes me go Ugh!
it looks as though this idiot
stuck his finger in an electric plug!

but even more to bewilder
what kind of wisdom has he
to brag about how he rips off stars
on national TV!

what star who saw this spot
and paid 600 too
has now got to know he's not
as smart as a donkey in a zoo!

so if you really want
your business to fail fast
just call Guiseppe Franco
and put him in your cast!

the phrase "what was he thinking?"
surely comes to mind
a better example of a fool
would be very hard to find!

Details | I do not know? | |

Trip To The Creek

Going on the mule
To that special place
On the creek enjoying
The  cool water negative
Ions that refresh one's
Soul, restoration of 
Spirit for it had been
A week since time to restore

Rocky running, playing
Off and on the mule
Disappears, wonder
Where that dogs gone
Probably off finding 
Really stinky bone
Bleat, bleat, bleat
What is that sound

Is it a goat or sheep
Where is the world 
Would that be coming
From, there are not
Any of those animals
Around here, at least
There has not been
In years and years

Rocky comes into
View with something
Hugh in his mouth
It is being swung
Back and forth
Back and forth
Long legs, very long legs
Why it is a baby deer

He is so proud of his catch
How does one explain
To a rat terrier that
Deer does not fit 
Into the catagory
Of small farm prey
That is on the list
Of animals that he kills

Details | Rhyme | |

The Answer To A Quiz Requested

The answer to a quiz requested
How simple it is,
If you are tested.
If you guessed a kite,
You might be almost right,
For the answer sounds; like kite,
But is it a kite or is it a kite,
For they are different,
Oh what a fright.
One can fly,
The other just might.
So now you can see,
Which one it could be.
So your answer, miss Linda,
If you guess a kite
Is nothing but absolutely right.

Details | Light Poetry | |

Requiem For a Racquetball Racquet's Racket

Was gettin' kind of loud,
On the court one day,
The proprietor called out,
to keep the noise level down
Hence the title,
Your tongue-twister clown!

Details | Limerick | |

Speakin' In Spokane

I ain't got nutt'en to say,
I be shy, an scared anyway,
To public speak,
My mind too weak,
I'll only go on if you pay...

Details | Prose Poetry | |

I Speak In Tongues!! (yes, true!)

When I worked, selling furniture, much expensive, as a Store Manager/Salesman-
(really, the "Manager" title was euphemistic)...
It was easy to get bored....
You can sit in the showroom
for some hours,
And see no one at all...
So when some poor person
did come in...
I tended to want to 
Not for the customer,
But, for me....

I had over time
developed a talent....
To speak in accents a'plenty
No one would know
just what to expect....
To one, I might be 
cockney English
to another a stiff
old German
or a Swede,
Jackie Mason style Jewish,
Oh Indian was a favorite
of many... but I did more...
An upper-class
English Lord...
a Brooklynese bable,
a southern drawl...
oh... so many more...

Now sometimes
I'd change from one
to another
in the same conversation'
as it progressed;
whether he bought or not
to me secondary
I had to have my fun!!

Sometimes a customer
would come back
on a later day...
looking for that
Australian guy...
who had helped
them some days before...

I made many many people
laugh, many many a time
I had many other crazy
things I did
You come into
my store,
you won't be bored
nor pressured...
one thing you can be assured.

Details | Free verse | |

The Shocking News About Commodore Ignore

He led his fleet,
Into battle sweet,
Said,"Damn the torpedoes!
Full speed ahead!!!"
Now he is very dead.

Details | Burlesque | |

Concrete Between My Ears

Thick headed? Who? Me?
Well, maybe, check my ears,
and you will see,
Grade A concrete,
Thick and fast,
Not too sure,
How long my neck will last.

Details | Rhyme | |

Three Blind Mice

Three Blind Mice...
They weren't so nice...
Living by theft, crime and vice
One day the Blind Mice,
Lost particularly heavy at dice...
To pay their debts,
They planned a big heist...
Now they had stole their employers blind,
And had been long fired in kind...
Now their vengence they would seek
They weren't too smart,
And could not turn the other cheek
But being blind made the task tough,
Cause seeing what they're stealing
was kind of rough...
But these dumb mice,
No wisdom did they heed,
And proceeded with their dark deed...
Turns out they tried to rob a Police Station,
Now they're on a long vacation,
In the Prison of the Criminally Insane Blind,
With lots of other mice of their kind.

Details | Free verse | |



I once remember the
Librarian in my college  
Meticulous ,and savvy
His love for knowledge 
Knows no bound.  

I once remember the 
Librarian in my University
A man with a large heart for others 
His glasses perking on his nose
His Professorial “penkelemesi” like
Grey hair connotes love for research.


I cannot but ask which librarian is this?
I cannot but query the insidious sudden
Love of this Huckster for knowledge
I cannot but be surprised at his hubbub
Declaration for his Library launch.

Oh ye people of our land!
Lets all give ovation du applaud to
Our land’s new Librarian.

The very one who rakes in seven
Of a billion cowries in a hurry
In the all looters Library launch.

The very one whose hatred for education
Towers so high and hit all towers of ivory.

The very atrocious leader of the ruling bandit
Whose avidity for money stares us in the face.

The very leading African Chimera whose
Chicanery  we cannot measure
Has now suddenly fall in love with knowledge.

The very blood brother of “Haruna”on our campus
 Who votes irritating meager resources for education
He is now our  own celebrated Librarian.

The very illiterate Mechanic whose
Baleful gaze alone destroys our land’s Library
He is now our dreadful Librarian.

Sorry ,we know our Librarians
Our Libraries , we are acquainted with    
Our Libraries are of obsolete materials
Ours is of more archaic facilities 
With books and non books available 
Two moons ago still branded new editions 
This is our own Libraries.

Let the new Librarian disburse the seven
Of a billion cowries to our Libraries
Let him pump cowries into our education
Let their be more modern Libraries in our land 
For is it of a nation that values knowledge
That gets the best of knowledge today and morrow .

Alayande Stephen .T
16th April, 2006

For Mr President 's special Library launch.

Details | I do not know? | |

Beautiful Insanity

I am a simple being
I simply want to be
I fly threw the air on a cheeseburger with insect hair
I lie on the moon and count the cows yelling moo
I have no cares

Once I was a boy with a friend with big red shoes
he had a red nose and was very mcfriendly
I tilted my head to the side and let my marbles slide
I just want to go back to these days and hide

A car drove to another planet and brought me some toys
Finally I can get off this crazy island 
who are you Mr. Fu, Ill kung some dung into your shoe
Don’t you dare look in my direction, for I am king
you are my infection

My veins are long strands of kool aid
aiding me in my sugar high
I want to fly in the sun its fun for everyone
the color yellow cant be bad to stare at for hours
Just let me run until I wear my body down to nubs, then ill retire

Drunken crazed monkeys carving canaries, shoot the sky
run little canary run
keep your pills to yourself Dr. Barrato
I am a simple being
I simply want to be

Details | Free verse | |

You Kid

The first concern: mysterious babies.
Please let's turn to a new perplexion:
the emergence of the grown-up things.
Alzheimer's, or catching rabies?

Faint, like changing fashion bouts? 
or a sudden busting-at-the-gut.
Lazy clouds plumping up
or a piñata thundercloud bottoming out?

Consider this working theory of mine:
the great, petrified, adult spine
evolves on eons of childish pining;
horses rue the portly giraffe.

Or - it is a soundless exchange; 
we enter blind the portal of sleep.
Slippers, oblivious, on welcome heat:
two charring wisps in an innocent furnace…

You told me, once, that sheep dream of people- 
people dream of sheep and fences in a giant 
dance like the earth and sun and years, be patient, 
count one-two-three (fall asleep).

But I continue to burst from cakes
for my own overgrown sakes-
to breath the knowledge of wishes.

Details | Bio | |

Uncle Cleo

His real name was Cliff...
But we called him
Cleo Van Hoppenburg,
Better known as "Uncle Cleo",
To all who did love him...
Though not quite normal of mind,
He was the center of attention,
You probably know the kind...

Favorite phrases...
"Ho, ho, ho!!!"
"Dommy (me..his nearest version to Tommy)....
Doozie Botts!!!.....
Oh, he put on a show!
An easy target to fool with,
Specially for me and my cuz...
For the weird things he said,
And the weirder things that
he does...

He'd call up on the phone,
Talk endlessly on...
I'd set down the phone...
Go away for awhile,
Watch some TV, have a beer,
Come back, he's clueless,
Still chewing my ear...

One day he came to the door,
Stuck his hand out to greet,
Never expecting, I'm sure....
I grasped his friendly hand,
And a Ju-Jitsu throw he did meet...
Flew across the room,
Hit the far wall well spread eagle...
Laughing, though in pain....
I doubt my act was quite legal...

He loved to be with
me and friends...
He was always of alcohol, abuzz,
An open target for torture,
For me and my cuz,
That's just the way that it was...
We'd entice him to sing,
He eagerly agreed
We taped him singing
"Silent Night",
While on our instruments,
We played blues...
It was, I guess,
a shameful bad tease,
But from laughter so hard,
I just had to sneeze...
Soon bent over so painful,
I dropped to my knees...

Recorded his insanity,
For all to enjoy....
For many years after,
That tape we did deploy...

His weakness for boose,
Especially a bottle of wine...
He'd down it cross-eyed,
Till he did pass out,
which he did just fine...

He'd fall to the floor,
Dressed in Nazi helmet,
American flag t-shirt,
Didn't matter to him,
If it was caked in deep dirt...
Yet him we would ignore...
And took Polaroids to capture,
For the future to see...
Just  what and how,
My world could be...

And when the monthly 
check day, it did come....
He'd restart his cycle,
Quite startling some,
And he was money wise,
That is quite true,
The rounds of Jamaica bars,
he'd make,
And bar business, it grew...

He'd take a bus,
To our house, and
from the bus stop,
Some pedestrian would
tell us,
He was drunk as a sop...

I'd have to go,
'Round the corner,
To carry him home,
Not an easy task,
I assure you,
Getting him, 'ol chrome dome
Back to the homestead,
Where with his great gaul,
He find himself in the yard,
And there he did fall...


Details | Free verse | |

Captain Quark

Captain Quark,
had a lark,
Driving his poor friends nuts,
But Captain Quark,
his mind so dark,
was nothing but a putz.

Details | Limerick | |

[Billy once spoke of our approaching doom]

Billy once spoke of our approaching doom.
Revealed stitched-cross against bare groom.
But fear never chilled stiff steel handle.
Then he ranted silent scandal!
Now Billy talks little in him white padded room.

Details | Acrostic | |


Please don't think me demented
Until you have walked a mile
Zooming through my thoughts
Zest for life bubbling from your heart
Love for all a must
Excuse me? Were you speaking to me?
Damn; I was puzzled there for a minute!

Details | I do not know? | |


relish, oh relish
scream over your scream
feel ever more deeply
become the great dream
breath ever more deeply
climb ever more steeply
start drowsing- so sleepy
is nothing as seems?
feel, oh feel 
such is grasping and tearing
clawing and gnawing
so harsh and apalling
fighting and brawling
teeth clinched tight and snarling
touching and running
pushing and stunning
crawling with cunning
all in fun we agree

Details | Rhyme | |


What did you say? 
I couldnt quite hear.
Could you say it a little louder?
Or should i clean out my ear?

Ha ha ha thats real funny!
Oh... thats not what you said?
Im sorry hunny.


Details | Burlesque | |

The Pair' A Docs

these well schooled
and vastly trained minds
do confuse me so, somehow...
with their duel diagnoses,
I finally had to vow

to take their conclusions,
with several grains of salt
some seem so ludicrous
 not worth to put in my mind's vault

one said I'd be dead soon,
one said that I would last,
he gave me five-to ten years
to him, so simply my life was cast

I could not but help to smile,
these nerdy brains of high grade steel...
so casual and flippant their style
did they think how I might feel?

so I asked for a lolly-pop
a staple for children 
in my younger day
not that I wanted to lick it
well, this is hard to say....
I had plans for where to stick it,
so it'd never see the light of day.

Details | Burlesque | |

Miscarriage Of Meatloaf

Let me just hope I haven't told this one before...

Well, I've said before,
I am a good cook,
But let me tell you 
Of a time,
When my confidence
was well shook...

Seems that on that day,
I decided to  make,
A pizza dough wrapped
So I mixed up the batch,
Of normal ingredients...
In culinary skills,
I rarely had a match...

Maybe I didn't...
Pay enough attention,
Or was fooled by some
Cause I used lemon
flavored bread crumbs,
A dastardly action...

Later, when I did,
Proudly serve it to 
my family...
Everyone's first taste,
Tasted so randy...
Into the trash,
It I did throw,
And from that point,
I did hence know...
If you're gonna cook...
Take a damn careful look!!

Details | List | |

Tom's Mental Driveling (Or Tom's Tid Bits)

What makes a beer lager?  By not being smaller?  
And I'm lookin' at a botttle of Heineken,
Boy, Ken's heinie must be sore!!
And just what was Pac-man packin"???
A thirty-eight??
Must one pledge first to get a club foot??
Someone told me GatoreAid had
electric lights....
But mine wouldn't light up.

Don't think I have given up on the open quiz-
Another clue: Who says lightning can't
strike twice!!??

You know you're likely in for a bad day,
When someone steals your burgler alarm.

My aluminum rap won't sing about
"the hood"!!

Details | Rhyme | |

Is it necessary?

Do you need a handshake to greet?
No it is not necessary
Do you need a place to meet?
No it is not necessary
Do you need to talk to crave?
No it is not necessary
Do you need a reason to love?
No it is not necessary
Do you need to show what you mean?
No it is not necessary
Do you need a bath to get clean?
No it is not necessary
Do you need wealth to be happy?
No it is not necessary
Do you need a smile to be zippy?
No it is not necessary
Do you need to pluck the flower to feel its beauty?
No it is not necessary
Do you need to do your duty?
Yes it is necessary. 

Details | I do not know? | |

The Cockroach...

everyday i get out of my bed,
i step on a red cockroach dead,
i shreik and scream and curse it to rot,
and 'dhooooooooom' on my head falls the flower pot,
for a bath i reach the bathroom,
half asleep i bang my head on the broom,
for the shower, my hand reaches out,
hot water showers on me and i shout,
i run with my clothes to the washing machine to tuen on the motor,
only to realise it is a refrigerator,
oh my gosh...i'm late ..!! i take a taxi ride,
the taxi driver blabbering on my ear side,
to go to the office, i take a train,
wrong train ..!! i'm home back again..
the telephone rings and i rush to the door,
i go up racing the stars and 'ddhhhaaaammm' i fall back to the back,
i wince and cry out in pain,
and hope this never happens again,
after a 'hard' day's work i go to sleep,
and sinks into my dreams deep,
the next day i get out of my bed,
only to step on a dead cockroach instead.

Details | Bio | |

An Engaging Visit To The Hospital

Last night I had a face to face confrontation with my floor.  I redecorated it in 
crimson red.  A poorly thought out medicinal cocktail, mixed with a bit too much 
wine, helped me demonstratre Issaac Newton's theory of gravity. As well as 
adding further evidential proof to the theory of entropy.  Now blue and purple have 
always been my favoite colors, so I was pleased to see my now "tie-dyed" torso.
I had a number of pleasantries in strore for the staff- like my usual red "TRAUMA"
stickers on my forehead.  And, of course, I always sign in as Randell P. McMurphy
I find  a hospital setting a good place to have some fun, well, at least if I'm not 
dying.  Sleep well, my friends.

Details | Burlesque | |

Two Heads

They say two heads are better than one.
I don't doubt this, but it sure makes it hard to buy a shirt.

Details | Burlesque | |

Something Odd Going On!!

It's a tad bit perplexing,
What I seem to see,
Russian soldiers in my backyard,
Can this really be?
And a Russian periscope,
Protruding from the ground,
How with this will I cope?
I guess I'm not mentally sound...

And why is there a Japanese
bulldozer in my kitchen too,
Is someone playing tricks?
Is that someone you?

And now a Sherman tank,
Sits in my living room,
"Hey, come on fellows,
are you predicting my
eminent doom?

Now I've seen it all,
Cause what do you think,
The mighty liner Titanic,
Sailing in my sink!!

Details | Lyric | |

Judicial Depression

I’m more motivated today,

Trying to find a simpler way.

To beat the judicial system,

Must appeal to someone’s wisdom.

That’s laughable to say the least,

As the judicial system, is quite the beast?

No easy way to start again,

As they’re in charge, of where and when.

They’re forcing me to run away,

I have no other place to stay.

All I want, is a productive life,

A new beginning, not all this strife.

Instead they, have dropped the ball,

And of course, blame me for all.

In response, all I can say,

“I’ve paid my dues, I want to stay”.

So now, again, I sit and wait,

Still a prisoner, this time of fate.

If left to them, and their discretion,

Will watch the system, and its regression.

Details | Cowboy | |

What Got Tom's Broke Back Broke

There ain’t never been much love ‘twixt them two out on the range—
Seems cowmen has always thought that them sheepherders were strange.

Then one day in rides a poke by the name of Tom Campbell—
What’s lookin’ for a job, if some outfit likes to gamble.

The foreman asked him straight out what is his experience—
He says he done some sheep herdin’ and he can mend a fence.

Well, that foreman was Bob Barkley – ‘bout tough a man there is—
He nods his head – says Jake will show him which remuda’s his.

Seems things went hunky-dory and there weren’t no call for lip—
Tom caught on fast, knew his stuff – but still smelt like ol’ sheep dip!

Then one night out of the blue, Tom tells us all he’s a Scot—
He’s proud of his heritage and the long blood line he’s got.

But it’s best some thing’s are left undone – they can make you wilt—
Yet what was Tom thinkin’ when next mornin’ he wore his kilt?!

They’s no prejudice in that bunch, but I sure confesses—
We ain’t too keen ‘bout them cowboys what likes to wear dresses!

Then big Bob Barkley - it seems he goes and blows a gasket—
And we is all sure Tom is headin’ for a pine casket!

“Manly cowpokes just don’t wear skirts!” Big Bob he yelled real vexed—
Then he kicked ol’ Tom’s tail bone from one mountain to the next!

Tom - he lived - though he limps from a break in his lower back—
But there sure enough is one certain thing that he does lack.

Tom done learned his lesson as he stares through the campfire smoke—
If something’s already fixed, don’t flaunt it or it’ll get broke!

And Barkley – he turned odd and wears Tom’s kilt like a scalped hide—
Sayin’ it’s how he keeps in touch with his feminine side!

Details | I do not know? | |

Couch Sleeper

He eats
Never pays
He sleeps
Never pays
Life is good on his side of the boat
He speaks 
Pays no phone bill
He bathes 
Buys no soap
Smells good
Buys no colonge
Calls the place he lays his head home
Never thanks anyone for what he given
In his mind it's owed for being born
He leaves many people scorn
Relationships torn 
First to eat and last to clean
A bully
Future jailburg

Details | Burlesque | |

Where Did I Put Me??

dummy!  I lost me again...
almost every day I misplace
the well known mirror's face
that's me, if you don't know....
well, regardless, and in any case...

somewhere I must be sitting,
or maybe hidding from myself
it really pisses me off
when I act like a mischievous elf...

I'll search for me until I get tired,
and hope that I show up
maybe if I baited me,
with hot coffee in a cup.....

well, I better find me soon
cause I'm about to swoon
maybe I'm howling at the moon
or singing another tune

oh, the hell with it...
I'm far too tired, as you can see,
I've had my chance to find me
that I wasn't successful
will just have to stand,...and have to be.

Details | Burlesque | |


Twenty-five wounded pedestrians,
At my door...
Twenty -five
Barely alive...
What should I do?
Call twenty-five ambulances?
Twenty-five EMS?
How'd I ever,
Get in this mess?

Why's everyone always comin'
To my door?
Has it got twenty-five
Twenty-five scents?
Twenty-five invitations?

Perhaps I've gone mad
And no-one's there
I sit in my room,
And at the wall stare

Till they come to get me
Who-ever they are
If I answer the door,
They'll put my brain in a jar.

Details | Rhyme | |


Who me?
What a story.
How can that be?

So I turn on the lights,
just to make sure,
no one is looking.
Lock the door.

They're in the closet.
(Or in my head.)
Turn off the faucet.
Look under the bed.

I once had a friend, 
locked us in his apartment.
Messages they could send,
to the F.B.I. department.

We look in the trees
to see who is there.
Thirty acres of leaves.
They could be anywhere!

Lock the doors.
Turn off the lights.
There could be more.
Shh! Be quiet.

Details | I do not know? | |


This is the one, I'm in love this time for real
How yall gonna tell me you can't fall in love in a week, yall don't know how I feel
Yea he told me he loved me too, that I was his main girl
Shoot he even told me that he loved me more than anyone in the whole world
Okay I know I said it before but this time I know it's true
Don't be hating on me because ain't nobody in love with you
After I gave him the booty he said it wasn't working out anymore
Here I go again now I feel like a dirty whore
But this week I found somebody else and I believe it's for real
Now how yall gonna tell me, yall don't know how I feel

Details | I do not know? | |

No Understanding

I don't understand
the way guys are

That they don't care about anything
except their precious car

Girls are possessions 
and can be treated like toys

They're not yet men
still only boys

So i'm guessing..
I'll never understand the way guys are!

Details | Free verse | |

The Art of Conversation

This is the beginning 
an introduction to what i have to say 
Here, I'll throw in another descriptive line 
to back it up. 
Continually flowing 
from one line to the next 
A certain thought, or feeling 
I am writing to express. 

Should I start over? 
Or are you still following along? 
The art of conversation is complicated 
when you have nothing to agree upon. 

This is where I begin again 
going over past thoughts 
now my feelings have been expressed. 
Perhaps this time I'll be more descriptive 
for sometimes vague leaves people offended. 
Just bare with me patiently 
as i keep the theme intended 
hang on as you continually understand me 
and then try not to forget. 

Should I start over? 
because you haven't cut me off yet 
The art of conversation is difficult 
if one is boringly intense. 

This is where I throw you off 
from finding the real meaning intended 
perhaps continuing with some imaging 
selecting proper euphemism 
leaving the ending another viewpoint to ponder 
another subject awaiting your decision. 

Unfortunately these are my disorganized thoughts 
as I continually look for your code to be deciphered.

Details | Free verse | |

Let me

Let me take time to think to decide

Let me take time to choose to select 

Let me take time to adjust to reside 

Let me take time to assess to reject 

Let me take time to try to solve

Let me take time to feel to combat 

Let me take time to be a drudge to get involve

Let me take time to be sure to start

For all the boring things that need my attention

Let me take time to be in this position

Details | Ballad | |

Ruby In The Sky With The Sandman

What would you do,
If I snored out of tune,
Would you dump a pail of water on me?

Lend me your pillow
And I'll snore you out a croon,
I will try to keep my snoring to me....

Ruby; I don't have a sandman,
but I do have two concrete users,
Rocco, and Vinny (Asphalt Vinny, they call him)
and I hear they're lookin' for me!

Details | Rhyme | |

A Computer's Wish

Oh how I wish they would be patient with me,
I need to be upgraded can’t they see.

Maybe a new motherboard and processor is what I need,
since everyone is interested in core clock speed.

Possibly a high definition video card would do,
with 3D quality to improve the view.

What about that 24-bit Dolby digital sound card,
clear enough to hear out in the yard.

Can’t forget to add a new memory stick,
at least 512 megabytes is what I would pick.

It must have a Double Data Rate,
and a Dual In-Line Memory Module to be great.

We might end up needing more hard drive space,
so put in a 120 Gig drive in the old ones place. 

With all these changes you’re about to make,
there is one precaution you should take.

Staying away from the static could be a perk,
if in the end you want me to work.

Then when I am up and ready to go,
there is one thing you should know.

Avoid opening e-mail messages from an unknown source,
installing a good virus program would help of course.

The only problem is that he never has any money you see,
so I simply wish he would take care of me.

Details | Blank verse | |

Super Quiz Clues

Clue No.1)  It can be associated with keyboard humor.
                2)Yikes / Strikes, Thumbs In Dykes!

Good Luck!!!  Please email to Super Quiz Poetry Contest comments, AND to me 
at so far I have been (with typical Tomfoolery!!)  
unable to retrieve any entries....I told you I need a "check-up from the neck up", 
did I not???  Thanks, and may the best poet win!!!!  tom

Details | Free verse | |

Crooked crooks, babbling brook

In this crooked chair i sit
at this crooked table
at this crooked desk
and write my crooked thoughts
looking out the crooked window
out onto the crooked crooked street
thinking about how crooked the world is
when suddleny is top and realise
the crooked people arent crooks
everything is crooked
crooked jails
crooked hospitlas
crooked business men lawyers and politiicians
crooked churches crooked steeples
crooked believers crooked people

it was perfect perfect and crooked
crookedly perfect
perfect people
perfect houses
perfect airplanes
and perfect yachts
perfect make me sick 
keeping up with the joneses
perfect white teeth
perfect bodies
perfect hair
perfect health
thwey werent crooked?
were they?

croooked like me?
crooked like them crooked in a world full of rooked people and the crookedest 
thing to do was to stand straight
and make a show of it!!

whose going to replace all of this crooked ness and turn this beautiful now?

Details | Burlesque | |

Tom's Head Scatchers

there are mysteries abundant
in our universe...
but some,
at least to me,
defy any rationale...

why do people feel
to have cell phones
surgically attached
to their ears...
and be oblivious
of who they are
with or their
regardless of
how awe-inspiring
nature  has 
strained to tempt them?
I have seen , in Manhattan,
not too long ago,
a sight that would
have called for
"the men in the
white coats"
more than one couple
walking the streets
one in a business suit
one in a smart work dress
BOTH talking on seperate cell
Both complimenting their
wardrobe with
ratty sneakers!!!
how'd I get on this planet?
did I miss something?
a decade or two?

why do we walk
around with
not like we're
getting paid for it...

or Fedex- apparently
Fed's ex has won
a big settlement-
she owns trucks
all over the place...

would would
possibly watch
not even in the
hightest level
psych wards
so why spend
millions to
produce and
air them?
go on a vacation!

please feel free to jump in
and add your thoughts
on human oddities
as you see them...


Details | Light Poetry | |

Somebody Forgot to Train My WagonTrain!

Damn arrows are flyin'
We're circled and taut,
Got shotguns and six shooters,
You should see how we fought!

They burned sixteen wagons,
Took fifty-odd scalps,
Abducted all our women,
And two of our Ralphs...

Why did they take 
Those weary old men?
Maybe they're gay,
Or just had a yen

To burn a few white men
The Ralphs were whiter than most...
But, I supposed by now,
They're merely Ralph-toast!

Details | I do not know? | |

I'll do it anyway

you said you love me i said 
well fine, i hate you too
you said your thinking of me
i said i'm not thinking of you

you said please do not do this
i said I'll do just as i please
so i locked us in the freezer
Not thinking we would freeze

Details | Prose Poetry | |

Hot Chocolate

    A neighbor returned home early from a vacation in Switzerland.  When asked 
about his trip he seemed a little hesitant to talk about it.  Finally he shrugged his 
shoulders and said, "I found it rather an unfriendly place."
    Puzzled about such a statement I asked why?
    "The first evening in Geneva I asked for a cup of hot chocolate and they kicked 
me out of the establishment. 'Sir we'll have none of that in here,' he told me."
       "The next morning I decided to eat at the hotel where I was staying and the 
same thing happened.  Only this time they kicked me out bag and baggage and 
told me not to come back.  I found a rooming house and spent the night there.  
The next morning the same thing happened when I asked for a cup of hot 
        "Soon my presence was known all over town and I couldn't get another 
room.  So I had to come home early.  It was as though I had a bad reputation or 
      I was totally shocked.  How could such a straight laced religious man cause 
such an up roar?  And this was so out of character for the things I had heard 
about the Swiss people.
       "If you ever go to that country don't order the Hot Chocolate.  It must be taboo 
to serve it."
     How could a simple cup of Hot Chocolate cause such a commotion?
     "Are you sure it was the HOT CHOCOLATE that caused the problem?"
      "Of Coures it was.  I'd go into a restaurant and ask for an extra ' HOT SWISS 
MISS ' and they'd throw me out."
Gotcha__ Didn't I?     

Details | Burlesque | |

Nobody Told Me!!

Yep.....No one dun told me...
About that puddle out front....
No body bothered to warn me..
The truth I'd have to hunt...
I stepped in the middle,
Expecting, of water, just a little....
Of concern, a mere piddle....
Suddenly hit by this natural riddle....
I'll pass my life being befuddled...
Even when I sleep!

Details | I do not know? | |

Road Rage

I board my little metal box early in the dawn,
Adjust my seat, fix my mirror, turn the stereo on,
I love the drive, I live for the day,
And I am generally  accepting,
Of all those little experiences,
 Life shares with me along the way.

Check my mirrors, watch my speed,
Keep that safe distance that all drivers need,
Tense up my neck, stare into the next car,
Give people intense looks from near, and from afar.
All of the sudden, something within me jumps out,
Did I just curse, did I actually shout?

I’m only going from here to there, just a simple commute,
But there is a collective static that I cannot dispute,
As I glance at the other drivers, with that protruding vein,
From all of the anger, stress, and strain.
They all look like the angry guy in my mirror,
That is staring them right back again.

Break checking, tail gating, horns blowing,
And all of those one fingered salutes,
That my fellow drivers are showing.
Have I lost my mind? Is the traffic beginning to slow?,
Did I just call that little old lady,
A bloated warthog for not staying with the flow?

I finally reached my destination and my patience is gone,
My nerves shot, my anger boiling over, as the day wears on.
Why Oh why do I love to drive,
When just getting there wrecks my day?
I cant point the finger and blame others for my anger,
When I reacted in exactly the same way.

There is a solution to this though, 
There is more than one way out,
There is a way to have a good day to this you may score,
Have others drive so you can talk,
Leave earlier and walk,
And of course, that is what a bus route is for.

Details | Free verse | |


There are twenty-seven of them
I count every time 
I am forced to climb 
either up or down.
Twenty-seven in each direction.
Twenty-seven times the hairs
ripple along my neck.
Twenty-seven creaking, squeaking,
moaning and groaning steps.
Twenty-seven down
to the basement door.
Twenty-seven up 
to the living room floor.
 chances to fall
twenty-seven bounces
just like a ball.
Twenty-seven cries
within my mind.
Twenty-seven times
I feel muscles bind. 
Twenty-seven breaths
I cannot take.
Twenty-seven crashes 
I pray not to make.
Twenty-seven steps
 and them I run free. 
The twenty-seven  STEPS
no longer hold me!

Details | Light Poetry | |

Crumb Cake

I've finally figured it out!
I really have!!
Why they call it crumb cake...
I should have known....
I was blind,
But now I see,
My wife Grace,
Told it to me!
Yes, It's amazing Grace...
Why it's called that...
It's because it tastes crummy.......

Details | Rhyme | |

It Was Only A Dream

I dozed off on the couch last night 
My dreams took me to a place that was bright
Dazed where i was wasn't known
Trying to awaken  i felt than i wasn't alone
A fear started growing inside of me 
Trying to open my eyes so i could see
Felt as if i was being held down 
Tried to scream but their was no sound
Finally i was able to get my self awaken
That moment of fear left me a little shaken
Awakening to a big surprise
I gazed in to two big brown eyes
As my eyes were still adjusting to this 
My face was getting wetter with every kiss
This might sound romantic to some of you 
But believe me this is so not true
On top of me laid my dog like i wasn't there 
Stretched out without a care
I looked around and lights on is all that i seen
The house was lit up brighter than its ever been
I don't know why my dog felt she could lay on me 
There was plenty of space we have a sectional you see 
But why should i be surprised she done stranger things than this 
Are dog is surely to put us through a few more years of bliss

Details | Burlesque | |

Yet Some More T.B.'s T.B.s

The Caspian Sea; is that where friendly ghosts go for vacation?
Big as a football field: don't you know about foot measurements??
The Swat Team;  I called them when my house was infested with flies.
My psychiatrist asked me if I had any "old reservations" about a desire to end
some bad habits.  I said, "Yeah, I have some old reservations- two unredeemed 
tickets to a 1973 Pink Floyd concert"  this really took place.
How come 2 & 2 isn't 22??

Enough for now, all you dedicated "Soupers"

Details | Burlesque | |

An Infinitesimal Ton Of Stuff

Me a pack-rat?
Is you crazee?
I gots me a path to walk,
From one room to annudder
So who is you to talk?

I gotz at me fingatips
Alls dat Eyes could kneed
Like 1972 newspapers
Which I ain't gotz yet ta read

I think somewhere in dare,
I'z gotz an x-wife or 2,
I suspectz  from da smell,
Dat day ain't talkin' to mee orz youu,

Ann dat germain doog I'dz onss had
He 2 could be in dare,
Every onse in da while
I no-tis doggee hair

I'll cleanz it upp ladda
not now I iz too tyred
my housekeepin' I assure u
Iz someting to be admired...

Details | Burlesque | |

The Robe (or A Bizarre Walk Down the Blvd. of Muffled Scre

"It was 2 or 3 years ago
As best as I can recall
A slight chill in the air
Maybe early spring,
or maybe late in the fall

Queens County Hospital released me
on that very  fateful day
I had spent my time in their psych ward
I no longer had to stay

On the day that they released me
to exit to the street
I left with jeans and T-shirt
With but slippers on my feet

But most striking I can assure you
Was the fanciful robe that I wore
Bright blue with yellow moons and stars
Comets, the sun, and much, much more

Like a demented Wizard walking
In a Fantasia audition gone quite mad
I strolled down Queens Boulevard
42 cents was all I had

Six miles to my home
I'd never walk afoot
Dazed and bewildered
All the Chinese pedestrians surely had a hoot

On the busiest street
for miles around
This demented Wizard tread
I would'a preferred to be underground

So I went and took a taxi
With no way to pay the bill
But what does one expect
From one who's mentally ill...

I figured it unlikely
for worse to come to me
"So what will he do?
return me to the boulevard
A cab fare thief for all to see?"

I made it home that afternoon
and found some money too
Paid my fare and carried on
In my Wizard's Robe of Blue."

Another true story in the bizarre life of tom bell

Details | Light Poetry | |

Horn Buttons

Festus bought a car
Quite cheap but second-hand
The horn button broke when he
First pressed it with his hand.

His local paper he did scan
Until he found an ad
Directly from a factory
Horn buttons could be had.

Any car without a horn
Must surely soon be dented
So Festus ordered one
But when it came,lamented.

Sent direct and by return
In a little packet
The article in question was 
A button for a jacket!

Details | I do not know? | |

Tom's Challenge; Think This Through..

If I is what I was, was I what I is?  If I was what I wasn't, wasn't what I is what I is? 
What if I wasn't what I is, but I is what I wasn't?  If I wasn't what I wasn't, is I what I 
is what I was?  Well, if I wasn't what I wasn't am I what I wasn't what I is?  Was I 
is what I wasn't, was I what I was?  Okay, what if I was what I was, was I what I is 
what I was?  What I was is what I is what I wasn't, so therfore I wasn't what I was, 
or was I?  Was what is what what I was?  Was what I is is what I was?  Wasn't 
what I wasn't what I wasn't?  Was I was, I was if I was what I was?  What wasn't 
what I is what I wasnt what I was?  What was what I was, what I was?  Was what 
I wasn't what was what I I was when I wasn't?

Had enough?  I wasn't even warmed up, I just was what I was.

Details | Burlesque | |

The Dishwasher

Tom the Dishwasher
Hand wash each time
Place in drainboard,
Always forget the gloves,
Hands get greasy, yuck, slime!
Drainboard sits on my
Electric dishwasher,
Used once in two years,
Just what is packed,
Between my ears?

Maybe cause the paper plates
and plastic utensils
Didn't fare so well,
Oh, you know how weird
Is Tom Bell

Should'a put a pinball
Machine, in that slot,
Play the Who's Tommy,
Bet I'd play real hot!

The one time I used,
sometime last year,
Still await unloading...
Is that laughter I hear?

Now if I was normal,
I'd be quite dull,
But never worry,
My brain is void and null!

Details | Burlesque | |

Television- for Catie L.

As American as Chop Suey,
We watch it day and night,
Till our minds get very gooey...

I remember shows,
That are no more,
Ones my dad, or I, 
Did adore

He loved his quiz shows,
A requirement of old age...
(Like moving to Fla. from NY)
I remember when
"The Leakest Wink" was all the rage...

And I knew, when it was on,
Change the channel, I not dare,
Unless it was to see,
"Who Wants To Be A Fridgidaire?"

That Phylis Rayburn,
He was a piss,
My father swore,
He would never miss...

Those goofy game shows,
To me just gamey,
I would rather read,
Than see those shows,
So lamey....

I did like some shows,
Like "Stainfell",
It made me laugh,
Oh, but most shows,
To me were hard to sell..

(Caus'en I is such an Indellectible, as youse can tell)

I've never seen "American Idle"
A car in neutral??
I'd rather see live,
A wave that's tidal!

I've never seen C.S.I.
"Come See Idiots"?
I wonder why?
There's plenty there
Right out on the street-
Why pay cablevision,
For more to meet??

I like some old shows 
That is true,
Like "The Moneyhooners"
"The Old Couple" too...

Some people tell me,
They don't understand
What I often say...
They say since I bought,
That damned "Head Cleaner",
That I can't tell night from day...

What do they know?
I'll put on "The Millinery Channel",
And watch all about...
World War II thread...
They say now I'm nuts,
But that's all in my head!!!

Details | Ballad | |


Rocky, Rocky
Longed to be a jockey,
But poor Rocky,
Was far too stocky,

More muscles than the horse,
Eliminated him of course,

He tried to slim down,
To win the Derby Crown,
But failed at this,
And was destined to miss,
The goal he sought so bad,

He watched from Kentucky Downs,
With naught but frowns,
And angered that,
Those little clowns,

Had the job he did covet
And they did not love it,
For each of them, it seems,
Wanted to be a muscleman,
That was their fondest dreams.

Details | Narrative | |

What A Day

It was just about midnight in the bright of day,
on a cold July morn in the month of May.
When out of no where came such a howl,
the turkey next door turned into a cow.
This ain't happening, it can't be real,
what in the world, must be a fire drill.
Then my donkey got up to run,
his pants fell down, they came undone.
Snow started falling, black as clear,
I jumped in my skates , and put them in gear.
This ain't happening, it can't be real,
now where did I put that bottle of pills?

Details | Burlesque | |

Old Calendars

I save old calendars,
Hey, you never know,
Time might slip backwards,
So where else could you go?
For planning, etc.,
You'd have to call me,
And I'd make good money,
From my calendar fee

I don't save old bandaids,
Milk cartons or beer cans,
That would be silly,
Like saving old pots and pans

So keep me in mind,
If backwards we go,
Cause I'll be the one,
You'll have to know!!

Details | Name | |

Originally From

How do you feel?
When someone is pointing at,
Only you, when you are sitting,
 In a group, at a dinner table.

Where are you originally from?
He asked me, when the other nine was waiting,
For my answer, why did he ask me only?
The meaningful answer demoralised me.

I am from heaven, I said,
I came to watch the Religious people,
They are claiming for Heaven,
They know to live on earth or not.

I‘ll answer to him, who send me on Earth.
He felt insulted, still seeking degration,
He attacked on me, in a classroom, 
When I was talking to someone, he abused me.

Although later, he apologised but still burnt,
When he insulted me again and asks me for apology,
They were unite against me, but still
I was fighting against their hidden agenda.

At the last day in training, a girl said to me,
At least I understand all, why they targeted you,
Because I talk to you, they felt insulted
I know, they are minding your colour.

Details | Free verse | |

This or That

Your intention to work
  Or you are in, tension to work?

Your inactive position
   Or you are in, active position?

Your inapplicable action
   Or you are in, applicable action?

Your insincere effort 
   Or you are in, sincere effort?

Your insight of things
   Or you are in, sight of things?

Your inexpensive living
   Or you are in, expensive living? 

Details | Burlesque | |


I've arrived...
There wasn't much I could say,
Had I passed my final day?
Had I faced my final goal?
Not quite,
For for me D.O.A.
Merely means
Dumb Old Asshole.

Details | Free verse | |

Confused Poet Three

At Annapolis, Admiral Rictameter had tried to teach us the martial art kick known 
as the Rondeau.  When he became impatient, he tried to rondeau redouble the 
lesson.  That turned out to be a Sapphic Stanza disaster, as we were all listening 
to a Neil Sedoka record.  I was senryu about having spilt the baby Sestina, and 
Sijo, our trained puppy, decided his tail rhymed with what was than-Bauk.  I 
thought the whole thing too triolet, and likely to cause tybuvim, and I did not want 
to be the one who was considered the Villanelle.

Details | Light Poetry | |

Plastic Fondue Set

Got it as a gift,
From J-Mart, as I recall
Genuine plastic, too!!!
Now I've seen it all!

I'd make my first fondue,
If I only knew....
Please, tell me true....
What the hell is fondue??

Details | Verse | |

I've Done It Again!


She said you left a burning hole that can never be filled,
The hurt that you showed me is deeply instilled.

Our life was so grand, I loved you so very much,
You were all that I needed, I longed for your touch.

She said I never saw the storm clouds till it was too late.
I would have never of dreamed this to be my fate.

He said I didn’t want it to come out this way,
I still have feelings for you, okay.

It’s just that baby she’s new to me, and she’s so nice,
She turns me on and I’ve only gone out with her twice.

She said that’s what I’m talking about, after all my faithful years,
You’d take her and leave me standing here in a pool of tears.

He said baby why don’t you come with us, you might even like it.
That didn’t go over very well, man she can sure throw a fit.

I just don’t understand he said, you used to like to go out,
I just wish you weren’t so jealous of my bass boat, How long you gonna pout?


Details | Free verse | |

Random, Unintelligable Thoughts

RUT- that's the title,
Insanity- I'm a disciple.
You guys make me think,
in ways untried,
I'll treasure this site,
until I've died.
And maybe even after that,
How many lives for this cat?
Survived cancer twice,
And though it was not nice,
Worse pain I've suffered
by words,
Those sharp knives
that pierce the soul,
From anger seemingly
out of control,
Eight inch switchblade scar,
Which my skin did so mar
I hear words I question why said,
As if one were brain dead,
Like "that door is ajar.."
How crazy you think you are?
A door is a door,
A jar is a jar,
No way to confuse them
No matter who you are...
A brain just too lazy,
Or one who's simply crazy?

Details | I do not know? | |


Chick101:   HRU

Smartone:  Talking about who?

Chick101:  IDK

Smartone:  Wait what did you say?

Chick101:  OMG

Smartone:  This is not easy.

Chick101:  LOL

Smartone:  Oh, I know that one well

Chick101:  IKR

Smartone:  This is out way to far

Chick101:  W/E

Smartone:  What does that mean?

Chick101:  BRB

Smartone:  Huh? Where are you? Golly Gee.

Smartone:  I'm so confused

Smartone:  I think I'm being verbally abused.

Chick101:  WTH?

Smartone:  What? Are you there Rach?

Chick101:  G2G

Smartone:  You type only in threes!

Chick101:  TTYL

Smartone:  What The Hell?

Chick101:  ILY

Smartone:  You know what I'm not even going to try

Chick101:  Bye

Smartone:  Is that code? I think I'm going to cry...

Details | Free verse | |

What Do I Write

I can't seem to think of a thing,
not a single poem or verse,
all I'm writing down are the thoughts in my head,
as I try to decide what line is the best,
what kind of poem to write,
is it a rap or lyric,
or alliteration or ABC verse?

What am I going to do,
I can't tell which way is which,
in this writing,
and I can't find the words,
that rhyme with me,
I can't think of this writing,
to much and not enough in my head.

I still don't know what to write,
I'm confused in my head,
and I can't seem to get it right,
what do I write,
when there's not a thought in my head,
how can I write,
when there's nothing to write about?

Details | Free verse | |


   Nothing is ever free.
   My body deserves your energy
   but I won't give it up without
   payment says the corner prostitute.
   She's locked up in her deceit, no one
   trusts her and leaves her alone to 
   sulk in the shadows of a ugly home.
   She knows it's wrong, she knows it's
   bad but she won't stop. She can't. 
   Moving faster, not remembering any face
   that left the twenty after the act.
   confused little girl, nothing to live for.
   Searching for the one thing that will
   make her whole again and that's love.
   she would conquer the world, but she
   would never be free until love touched
   her at least once. Tears fell down her 
   eyes as she lied in the dirty gutter. 
   Awaiting the calls that never came.
   None from her family, they didn't 
   care. None from a secret admirer the
   only ones who touched her only did it
   to help themselves. She held the envelope
   in her hands touching the green money.
   Love for the paper now became her new
   high and she worked hard to get hers
   because no one cared so why should she?  

Details | Lyric | |

I Don't Need It!

I’m at my wit’s end
The molecular formulas
the electron configurations
are killing all sensations of living that I ever had
A seemingly unbeatable force
backed by that foe from the East
as he manipulates and propagates this vicious cycle of ill-instruction
in which he tests the knowledge of that which is never taught
I find myself caught in this trap
I’m wrestling with pages of notes
all while in desperate need of a nap
Why do I need to know how oxygen bonds to carbon
in order to diagnose an illness?
Or in order to tell if a bone is broken or not?
I don’t!
That’s just it!
All of this mindless, structural knowledge, I don’t need it!
Once I’m in the true school of higher-learning,
where I’ll get the real tools to future success
I’ll forget it all
in order to learn what I really need to know
so that I may help my fellow man

Details | Burlesque | |

$10 Words

I isn't not may-bee knot  two brite
and may-bee I dosen't no how to right
bur deem tin dolla' wouds,
donut amount to turds
eye got ownlee simpell wouds
to tell my mi  simpull  tails
i cannn't aforord dem $10 dalla wouds
a buck-filthy is awlz i gotz
so f ya gotz a progrem wit dat
I wound kum too bat
and gos to bed I wilz...... 

Details | Burlesque | |


Just like your aorta
Carries blood,
Well It really sort'a ought'a
Or the shoes you bought,
Are sort'a tight,
Soon blisters will ignite,
Sort'a painful it just might,
Keep you up all night,
And when the mouse
dashes across the floor,
And you sort'a run for 
the door,
And your ad-lib scat singing
Sort'a thought was scatology
Maybe we ought'a sort'a sort'a

Details | Couplet | |


In the corners of my mind
Lives a creature of uncertain kind.
It guides my ever certain whims
And follows beats of perplexing hymns.
Sometimes it shouts, bellows and roars
Often with wings outstretched it soars
Gliding through my id and ego
Following shadow-like where I go.
Thoughts with constant and ebb and flow
Reaping what my hands have sown
Watching, leading, guiding through the unknown.
What is this being from within
That lights my path and shows me “when?”
I must confess I’d be a mess
If I didn’t have those little voices
Helping me to make my choices.
Better off than I’d be 
If my life was up to me.

Details | Burlesque | |


I remember my memory......vaguely
I think I do, I guess...
But sometimes I'm not so sure....
My brain just seems a mess

I was what I was,
And I am what I am
And Popeye I don't claim to be,
If you really must know,
I'm frightened to travel on the sea

Maybe if I ate more spinach,
My lost years will fall in place
Hopefully that's the outcome
Rather than me falling on my face

Details | Free verse | |


Why this world smiles? 
When it laughs from behind
Showing respect and shaking hand
Making an effort to be nice  
And finally deceiving 
Why this world offers help? 
When it is not an admirer and
Does the work
And a support that it gives  
And then it dupes 
Why this world treats well?
When it knows it can reject  
And disqualify the best 
Why this world is beautiful?
When it is very old and huge 
For many things it consists of
Why this world respects?
When it always argues  
For it can only mock 
Why this world shines? 
When it experiences the dark 
For the destruction and war that never stops
Why this world is good?
When it always highlights the bad and 
Never finds and rewards the good.
Why the world so it is?
When it knows so many people die 
of starvation and it never stops completely 
the dearth and eradicates poverty
Why the world is termed as modern?
When there is selfishness and segregation to
remain separated.

Details | Rhyme | |


What follows the river, but goes nowhere,
Lives under the trees, and in the air
Yet you see it here, you see it there,
Oh yes, You see it everywhere.
I don’t know that it is,
I don’t know that it isn’t.
Hide your eyes, and its back in an instant.
It is as smooth as glass, but rough as can be.
It flies so high yet never moves,
Yet moves so fast, In the groves.
It falls down, then goes up.
What’s that in your cup.
Now I know that just gave it away,
Oh darn oh darn, it’s here to stay,
But this is good ,cause it aint bad,
Think of all the fun we’ve had. 
You think you know it,
Come now please show it.
It’s as red as wine, it is as black as coffee,
What oh what can it be.
You can feel it when it falls 
You can feel it when it rises
You can feel it when it surprises.
We need it to grow,
We need it to snow.
We need it to help the rivers flow.
Now I know you must have it,
And I am not trying to hide it, Maybe.
So what oh what can it be?
Well excuse me, But I must go pee.
Ah ha now we know it,
But it is not, Just similar to the lot.
Now I must go and help it flow.
But the answer I will tell you,
In backwards form,
So you cant look at it, And cause us harm.
Retaw is it’s name,
And yes it has so much fame.
It causes destruction.
It causes construction.
It is something we cannot live without.
So now you know it and you don’t need to pout.

Details | Narrative | |

Ode to the Nut


I’m not crazy I’m insane.
   Kind of goofy, have no brain.
Goofy is as goofy does.
    Can’t remember who I was.
Happy yes or happy no. 
    Here I am and there I go.
Looney toons is just my way.
    I’m in my world and here I’ll stay.
Simple, simple what’s the deal?
    I like things that are not real.
I just lost my peace of mind.
    I look and look but cannot find.
If you see it passing by. 
    Bring it back so I don’t cry.
I’ve got crayolas and paper too.
    So come on over and I’ll draw for you.
I have to go they told me so.
    Back to my room is where I go.
The people here they are no fun.
     Treat me like I’m a crazy one.

Details | Burlesque | |

My Sign

What's your sign?
Aires, Libra, Pisces....
Stop, Yield, or Merge....
Did you ever get the urge?
To change your bloody sign?....
Then you've got to hear mine!
It's "Push Down and Twist!"
Some clown could not resist,
To hang it from my neck,
Oh, what the heck!!
Who put it there, I wonder,
God, or me, or all my ex-wives?
Slappin' five, and twisting knives?

Details | Rhyme | |

Give Me More And More

(Silly& humorous children's poem in the style of Dr. Seuss)

The more around I see
The more and more I want I say
Give me more and more
Give me more now I say

I don’t really care at all
You can make it small or tall
Give me more today I say
Give me more and more to play

The more I see the more I want.
Give me more and more don’t say you can’t.
I don’t really care at all
It can be big as a house or tall as a wall

Give me a ladder big and as tall
Give it to me to climb that tall wall
I don’t really care anymore if I fall
Anything is better than none at all

The more and more I want and I say
The more and more I see and I do
Give me more and more for today
Give me more to have and play

Give me more and more to hold and play
Give it to me small or tall I say
I don’t really care if it is small as an ant 
Or if it is big and mean as my aunt

Give me more and more today I say.
Give it to me as high as the sky.
Give it to me yellow red or blue
Give me more and more today to play.

Make it big or small.
Make it small or tall.
Make it hairy or bold.
Give it to me quick as you’re told.

Give me more and more I say.
Give me more and more today.
I don’t really care if you don’t want
I don’t really care if you can’t

Give me more and more as the sky
Give me more and more just as high.
Make it big as a house
Or make it small as a mouse.

Give me more and more to see with my eyes.
Give me more and more to hold and play.
Make it small or tall.
Anything is better than none at all.

Give me more and more I say.
Give it to me as tall as the sky.
Give me a ladder as big and tall.
Give it to me to climb that wall.

Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000

December,24, 2008

Details | Burlesque | |

Purdee Poofict People

youz beauties wit all dem dare wurds,
baffle me, cause mine brainz is turds
somedae I'zill grows up,
ann getz real smartz likz yu'zz,
til den, iz' carrie onz, 
feelin o, sew blew

Details | Free verse | |

She's Just Awaken

She's has just awaken , and she can be pretty mean

 better fill er' up quick on some brewed coffee bean

   actually need her up,  because I'm in a quandry

  Don't know what else to do,  don't have any clean laundry!!

                      Copyright McCuen 2008

Details | Burlesque | |

what's wrong with you

You don't like my hair,
I cut it too short.
You look lie you use nair!
Your hair had to abort!

I need to lose weight.
My butt is too big.
You think you look great?
You look lie a pig!

Lazy and weak, 
I act like a freak?
You would too
If you wore my shoe!

You love me, you hate me,
Make up your mind.
Open up and you might see
I'm a hell of a find!

What's wrong with you?
I think I know,
What I need to do.
I don't want to go.

Details | Burlesque | |

More Tom's Tidbits

Christmas- to me kind of scary- I mean who wants a guy named Santa Claws 
breaking into their house in the middle of the night??
And some of these bizarre new T.V. shows??- what kind of low-life would want 
to "Pimp My Bride"???
And the stickers that say "Support Our Troops"?- Of course we do.  It's the 
politicians who bring death to our brave youth.
My last boss, a Jewish fellow, once said to me, and he believed this; "Everyone 
Knows That Money Is God!!!"  How pathetic, I guess I'm an atheist, cause I sure 
aint got none.
I spend a lot of time in hospitals (sort'a terminally ill..)  They always ask me if I 
am allergic to anything, and I always say; "Yeah, mushrooms and morons..."
And these fools put a red warning bracelet. on me to that effect.  I also always 
sign in as "Randall P. MacMurphy" (see One Flew Over the Cuckoo Nest)-
you'd be surprised how perplexed they get- such name is not on their list!! I love 
I wrote a new soul song; "I Heard It Thru the Grapejuice"!!

well, enough for now.......tom

Details | Burlesque | |

I Dunn Knot Do'd It!!

T"aint me, dunn leff dat mess...
Wad'cha'do, just take a guess?
Got evidence dat I iz guilty,?
Or dis sum bullshoot
From Uncla' Milty?
So dowen' 'spects me
to clean it up...
It diden' split,
From my coughee cup!

Details | Burlesque | |

Somebody Stole My Caster-Oil

Can you imagine that??
What kind of rat...??
Would steal my tonic....
Maybe they're bionic....
Cause no sane one I know,
Would want to take,
As disgusting a thing,
Unless they felt they were a king,
And needed to so torture,
Some rebellious subject,
And this was their best scorcher... 

Details | Free verse | |

NO Lunch

A man waiting for the bathroom he said are YOU waiting for the bathroom
And then HE said “I have to use it now” and eye was at loss for words for even 
though eye am known far and wide as MR Comeback for just this once
eye could not find something to say at all. The man inside as he came out gave 
me advise another idiot in my way he tried to smile at me as he said this
“There is no toilet paper in there” and so eye told him eye do not care for that
just get out of the way before eye use it on your foot. The first man should have 
known that eye was waiting also did he want me to continue holding it for him 
eye dashed the hopes of this the second man if he was looking for some lunch 
he left with none no nothing in his hand. NO Lunch.

Details | Free verse | |

Tid Bits on Parade

"Sixteen tons, what do you get?
a Grossly obese diva,
at the Met...."

I signed up for physics in college,
a whole semester, and they never
even mentioned Ex-Lax

I finally found out what S.U.V. stands for;
"Stupid, Ugly Vehicle"

I tried to get in touch with the
Freemasons- but couldn't  find
a one willing to lay stone without

In poor ethnic areas, there are always
dozens of churches- "The House Of God"
they say.  Boy, God sure moves around alot.

I better get more sleep- I rehearsed
for 5 hours today with the wrong band.

With my luck, if I fell overboard on a boat,
the life saver they'd toss me would be 

Hasten, Jason, with the basin,
oops, plip, plop, get a mop!!
(author Percy Heath Jr. )

My friend, and fellow poet, Jack Reed,
mentioned that he likes to burn dvd's.
I've tried to, but the toxic plastic smoke
made me ill.

If there's an internet, does that mean there's
an outernet?

Details | Burlesque | |

Tom's U.F.O.

Yes, it's true....
My cousin stopped by,
To visit me....
And was horror stricken
To see
A U.F.O. in my kitchen!!
He was in such shock,
His pants he did pee,

There it was,
Black and mysterious,
Frightening beyond words!
His eyes rolled back into his head,
And out he ran,,
Screaming so loud,
He had frightened people running 
in stampeding herds!!!

As I stood, with alien weapon
In hand,
As the smoke of fear,
I fanned....

Yes, it's true,
The horrible sight
Of Tom's U.F.O.
No one would stay,
They all would never know....

For Tom's U.F.O.,
Not an alien craft....
The alien "weapon"
A spatula
Which they feared more
Than Dracula....
No, not an alien craft,
They all were daft

For Tom's U.F.O.,
Gruesome as it was,
To create a screaming "cuz",

Was an Unidentifiable Frying Object!!!!

Details | Burlesque | |

Soup Opera

I wonder why they call them "Soup-Operas"?
they never promote any soup...
and if the soup was to be in the story line...
well their writer, well he must say "oopp!"
it's one of many serious wonders,
that plays upon my mind,
I guess you can truely say than,
I've finally really become the mentally deficient kind!

Details | I do not know? | |

Black And Blue

Black and blue
Is the new classic look
I’m wearing it to your wedding
And showing up in nothing else
Oh, pardon me
Am I underdressed?
I am sophisticatedly slugged

Details | Burlesque | |


Nineteen stiletto armed assassins
Lay in wait upon my roof,
While nineteen of Santa's reindeer,
Prance up there with stomping hoof....

A fearsome racket,
Nineteen decibles loud,
So busy is it up there,
It blew away each cloud

How do I get out?
I've had my nineteenth beer,
Nineteen more,
And I'll have no fear...

I know, I'll wait till nineteen o'clock...
Surely they'll be sleeping then,
And I can go out and restock...

But, darn, I bought too cheap an alarm clock,
This one only goes up to twelve,
And makes an annoying tick-tock...
Maybe I can on-line order
An alarm clock that goes up far enough....
Only problem is,
How do I pay for such stuff?

Then, that 'ol Bell brain kicked in,
And figured out what to do;
I took my magic marker,
And cardboard and some glue,
Remark the numbers 
the way I want them,
That'll work just fine!

Well, maybe I had too much wine,
And not enough to eat,
For nineteen hours I tried,
But could not do this feat...
I couldn't spell, or remember numbers too well,
Oh, I guess I'm stuck here,
The curse of dumb Tom Bell.

Details | Ballad | |

Pop! Goes The Weasel

Pop!  Goes the weasel...
When he shot...
The guy behind the easel...
And stole his silly paintings...
All about there were faintings...
He ran from the chasing cops,
And made but few stops...
One for a beer...
One for some schnapps...
Guess he got a little wasted...
As he dropped the art
He had hardly tasted...
Now one wine,
and he was wasted...
Grabbed by the cops...
He was soon pasted...
With crime charges 
He soon embrace'd
Cause he was tired of art theft,
And he was color blind, and with no sense of depth...

Details | Senryu | |

Not Thru Pregnancy

not thru pregnancy,
even without ecstacy, still
their numbers increase...

Details | I do not know? | |

To many pills

Idislike this long hike, on this rusty old bike
I sick of this 
I dislike these training wheels, all these hills
To  many pills
meth kills , over due bills
Every friend i have steels
too many pills 
tooth decay, so the dentist drills 
cavity fills
all these deals 
scatter brained, and bong water spills
take a brake, give back what you take 
your a fake 
my mistake
your self you make 
stay awake 
stay awake
piece of cake heart brake the more I give the more you take
I draw a blank
empty tank
too many pills over due bills everyone I know deals
and Im trapped

Details | Burlesque | |

Alice In Blunderland

Poor Alice,
Not too bright,
Hardly ever...
gets it right
She tries her
You can rest
But stupidty is
hard to cure

One day she 
saw a hare,
Dive into a hole,
She wasn't sure,
rabbit or mole
But then she remembered,
moles are blemishes
on one's skin,
This she knows,
Cause one of her kin,
Has a face like a
mountain range,
Many think she 
looks real strange...

So Alice tried 
to follow the hare,
Stuck her head in,
right then and there,
And stuck it was,
And still stuck it be,
She looks like
an osterich,
A weird sight to see!

Details | Light Poetry | |

Who Says?

who says I can't do it?
how would they know?
you ain't gona crush my dreams, my confidence (even if I AM delusional!)
we'll see!
just you wait!

Details | Free verse | |

Truth or dare

Can you keep a secret?
I'm mentally ill.
I'm a psychotic psychosomatic
paranoid schizophrenic
of the disorganized type.
Can you keep a secret?
I'm one of them
I'm an alien from a distant land
a spy from another time
a fed
hired from the past.
Can you keep a secret?
I don't think you can.
I'm Nostradamus writing poetry
here to find the secret passage
in the Royal Palace
while millions watch me
on television.
Can you keep a secret?
I'm a chronic self lover
suffering from codependent love hungers
a manic depressive
programmed to be
anal attentive
compulsive obsessive
with low self esteem.
Can you keep this a secret?

Details | Free verse | |

See the Light, Moth.

Thuck.. Thuck.. Thuck…
Why don’t you just stop
You can’t penetrate the glass
You’re just a little moth.

Thuck.. Thuck.. Thuck..
Come now, little bug
It can’t be that bad
Would you fly into the sun?

Thuck.. Thuck.. Thuck..
So fragile you are
Cupping you in my hands
Leaving glitter-dust behind.

What are you doing in there
Little moth?
Open my hand and let you go.

Thuck.. Thuck.. Thuck..
Stupid Moth.

Details | Burlesque | |

Who Pissed In My Cornflakes?

I'm pissed off,
Cause someone pissed in,
My breakfast cereal...
Most uncool,
Just one spoonful,
I'd be a fool...
Yellowish milk?
Not for me....
I may have pissed someone off,
But colors I still see...

Wait a minute,
When I was out....
Did the Bad Girls Club,
Stop by?....No doubt....
They're "pissed off"
About my poem about their show...
As far as I'm concerned,
That show must go...
No more untended meals,
Refrigerator I'll lock...
Hermatically sealed kitchen,
Around the clock,
I'll post guards,
If I must,
To keep them out,
I'll have to trust,
That in the end,
I wont find out,
One is a boyfriend.

Details | Burlesque | |

Plastic Paradise

Want it?
Charge it!!
Can't afford it?
Charge it!!
Plastic startin'
to wear a bit thin?
Charge it on another win!!
No one can stop you now...
And, look, by God, 
You have rooms filled
with stuff you can't use...
No one, of you, could they accuse,
Of being a tightwad, a spendthrift,
A miser, a horder of gold,
And, as a matter of fact,
I've been told....
You owe so much your 
bills are delivered,
In wheelbarrows,
As you quivered,
Oh, the hell with that,
Lets start our day,
With some charges
on cards, we'll find a way,
Plastic growing a bit
too thin?
People telling you what
trouble you're in?
Let's see, will we
start our days work
with visa or mastercard?
Discover, Amex,
It ain't so hard..... has
a web site just for you?
Their very best customer,
with what you do...
You live the life of
a billionaire,
As for bills, you have
no care...
Just throw them
quickly, in the trash,
Or in that huge box,
which in you stash

In case some day you need
a laugh,
Just open one, with
your accountant staff,
Not that you plan to pay
them either,
Just a chuckle as you
Upon economic collapse,
Did they really expect
me to pay them?
Those useless saps!!

Details | Rhyme | |

Blue color

The color that is blue
Always put me in no clue

That whenever I wore this color
I always lose a dollar

I always been pampered
And I needlessly scampered

Of this blue color when I stopped wearing
Not a single day I find boring

Details | Free verse | |

I Don't Know

What’s his name?  What’s his name?
I don’t know, I don’t know
Let me go, let me go
What’s his name?
Who Jim Crow, Joe Blow or John Doe,
Why do you ask me so, I don’t know?
Why do you hold me in this beau?
Even so, why you ask me something I don’t know?
Whoa holy Joe, I don’t know, no James Monroe.
Furthermo, I didn’t know he was in a picture show
With Little Joe and Little Big Toe!
Even so I didn’t know he was a tennis pro
Now on skid row and his wife working  a strip show
I didn’t know!
So you gonna let me go?
Whoa, why you hit me in the stomach below
And caused my knees to hit the floor
Watch it bro, don’t hit me no mo
If you hit me again below, here’s how its gonna go
Like quid pro quo I’m lay low and sneak up on you like a
UFO stopping your show with a glide of an unexpected blow
Across the thing that help you go!
Then I’ll take an arrow and shoot you in every toe,
Just like a woman during her menstrual flow
You’re not gonna know what hit you bro
It will be like a hammer blow from your
Head to your toe
And this is what will happen if you don’t let me go!

Details | I do not know? | |


(This is a fictional poem)

When it comes to choosing roads to drive on, my cousin always makes the 
wrong selections.
He gets lost and he's a man so you know he doesn't ask for directions.
He got lost in a town that's full of prostitutes and pimps.
He got out of there as fast as he could because he's a wimp.

Last week he got lost in a town that's full of hillbillies.
He accidentally smashed into somebody's trailer and they slapped him silly.
If you're like my cousin, don't drive a car.
You'll be better off staying where you are.

Details | Epigram | |


The trap has been set,
You just cant wait,
Soon so soon,
It will meet its fate.
Are you sure?

Pity not those that pity you,
For your pity is not true,
But somewhere in the blue.

If you speak what is spoken to you,
Do you speak what is true?

If you awake from your sleep,
Are you dreaming you are awake?
How do you know?
Till you fall asleep again,
To awaken from your dream.

When you say a word,
How many times,
Has that word been said before?
Or has it been spoken?

When you think a thought,
Do you ever think,
What is naught?
If it is naught,
Why think at all?

If you walk in water, 
Do you get wet?
Do you want to bet?
For what is wet,
But a word?
This is so absurd.

My brain is fried,
Have I lied?
Within you, 
I Confide.

Details | Burlesque | |

I Remember Memory

I remember memory,
I think it had something
to do,
With things deep in
my past,
What I was unaware of,
it's true,
Is just how short it'd last...
So this hazy recollection,
Of things but five minutes old,
Must mean there is a catch,
One I was never told....

What were we talking about?
Someone wise once
told me,
The first sign of insanity,
was repeating oneself,
and that was easy to see,
Someone once told me,
The first sign of insanity,
was repeating oneself,
which was easy for
one to see...
Someone once told me,
The first sign of insanity..........

Details | Light Poetry | |

Why'd You Oogle My Google?

Don't'chea all be lookin'
Over my shoulder,
At what's cookin'
I dunz get mad,
And reely sad,
Dat you'z be spi-en
at myze wourds

Details | Free verse | |

More TB's TBs

I just read AOL news story- some guy found a deep fried mouse in his bag of 
poato chips.  Guess he's not the meat & potatos type.
I'm not real good with computers.  I don't think they like me.  I tried my media 
player, and I think it said it needed Bufferin or something.
I called "Lawn Doctor".  I got suspicious when showed up with an industrial sized 
stethescope around his neck.
I tried "Bath Fitter". he came, filled up the tub, took a bath, and gave me a bill for 
$200!  I said "What the heck do you think you're doing?"  He said he did his job, 
came, checked to see if he fit in the bath.  I had a fit.
When I was young, I was in a NYC suburb gang called "The Gors"-  We were kind 
of namby-pambee for a gang.  A small troop of Cub Scouts took us out!!  The out-
armed us, and put the fear of God in use.  Bullies!!
If it were'nt for the Imfo button on my TV remote, I'd never have the foggiest clue 
as to the date.
News has long depressed me.  I never read the news papers, and I avoid any 
news reports on radio or TV.  But, sometimes I still wonder if the Vietnam War is 
still goin' on.
True story, I shoot you not-  Today to psychiatrist for evaluation- (boy did I spin his 
wheels- now he needs a psychiatrist!)- well, anyway, in the application/imfo sheet
there was a comment after name, DOB, etc.- it said "sex"-  I wrote in "rarely".
To Vince- consider yourself lucky- my ex-wife wanted my to take draino!!
True story- last hospital stay (so often I have my own wing now)- I stole a big red 
sticker from the X-ray room that said "TRAUMA!"  I wore it on my farhead for 2 
days!  You should see the looks!
The only thing I'm sure of now is that I'll never live long enough to learn  to live.
                                 The Sarcastic Poet
                                     tom bell

Details | Verse | |

Where Oh Where Can You Be

I searched and I searched
For one special name
But it was no where to be found
How can I tell him how special he is
If his page isn't around.

Details | Bio | |


Patricia, Patricia,
how nice to hear from you,
what I'm about to tell you,
is embarrassingly true

I bought a large can of coffee
not so long ago,
somehow I seem to have forgotten
something I ought to know

I was ready to open said can,
where and when it sat,
I looked around to see,
something odd as that...

how can I prepare this brew
in my world of dizzy mental dew,
for I don't own a coffee-maker
and this tale I swear is true!!

Details | Burlesque | |

Cousin Luke and His HDTV

My dear and close cousin
visited me not too long ago,
I was watching my big screen T.V.,
enhanced with know

Now this impressed him so,
that soon thereafter he'd go
to buy two for himself,
but smaller screen in size,
I would not tell you lies,

I don't know how he did...
manage to set them up to rid,
the top and bottom of the screen,
It seemed to me obscene

I visited and watched a while,
repressing a growing smile,
no faces did one see,
nor anything below the knee...

His wife was unhappy too,
Foreign films she's apt to view...
Now no translation would she find,
to help her understand these in her mind

So, for Luke, it's HDTV..
not what it means to you and be....
In his case HDTV means for him
Half Damn Torso View is all you'll see

Details | Burlesque | |


Twenty-six doctors
At my door                (I gotta get rid of this darn door!!!!)
With twenty-six diagnosis,
And then, twenty-six more...

Twenty-six pills
For twenty-six ills,
My voice startin' to change,
I sound like Beverly Sills!

Think I'm more likely
To survive twenty six diseases,
Than twenty six prescriptions,
Bringing twenty-six sneezes...

Twenty six Dr. visits,
Each month alone,
Twenty six Doctors,
Twenty-six receptionists,
On twenty-six a phone...

Twenty-six things
He tells me,
Which I forget
In twenty-six seconds,
Twenty-six different
Medical futures,
It seems, beckons

Oh, I'm tired of this number thing,
How many numbers are there?
Must I continue till nobody does care?

Well, better yet, let me see,
If twenty-six beers,
Will be enough for me!

Details | Burlesque | |

How'd I Wind Up Here??

Took me fifty-seven years,
To wind up in this joint,
I still wonder sometimes,
Just what was the point?

Seems to me I was smarter
At twelve years old,
Or so it seems,
Cause that's what I'm often told...

I think the idea is crazy,
I'm smarter than ever,
Just look at my work,
Okay, I'm a tad lazy,
But under it all, I'm
still pretty clever...

So, who needs money?
Who needs friends?
Who needs a car?
I guess it all depends...

I'm quite satisfied,
To sleep 20 hours a day,
That's my greatest talent,
Or so some do say...

But now I've got,
My Poetry-Soup friends,
To drive up a wall,
And then make amends,

I'm frivolous,I'm frisky,
And sometimes too  so,
If I drink too much whiskey,

So I bide you adieu,
Though I don't know 
what that means,
I'll act like I do,
So it appears that it seems
I'm smart as a whip,
And quick with the tongue,
Just hope I don't slip,
On the ladder of B.S.'s
slippery rungs.

Details | Rhyme | |

Thou Art Picasso

                              I look hard at pieces of Picasso
                            for art according to other's say-so;
                        no symmetry, much less beauty I see,
                          none in his so-called cubist artistry.

                      Faces, noses, limbs and lips all askew,
                      call it abstract, surreal or what have you;
                         deformed, distorted images must be
                              loveliest to Pablo, but not to me!

Details | Burlesque | |

Merchant's Revenge

I had a boss once,
Who owned a
furniture store,
A rather odd fellow,
Of this I can assure

If an unreasonable
customer gave him
enough grief,
They were in trouble, for to his
He had their credit card
number on file,
And after an adequate
They'd start getting
the oddest things
Cause that just was his style,

Strippers showing up at their work,
To make them look a jerk,
Sex toys too odd to own,
Delivered to their home,
400 roses, 10 cases of rum,
But this was not the sum,
Lots more for them would come,
On and on it'd go
Till they would surely know
Why 20 pizzas came their way,
Every other day.....

The best part, for him I sort'a knew,
Was that they'd paid for it all too!!!
And they never could quite guess,
Who, and why, was the pest!

Details | Free verse | |

Unconditional Love

Of all guys that are out there
You decided to pick me
And I'm trying to figure out why
I'm not the best of the bunch
I don't even express my feelings
Instead I mask them so I'm distracted
I guess you must've seen this by now
Is that one of the reasons that you picked me?

Love is such a mysterious subject
It is funny in ways
I can't believe that it
Even chose me...

What other traits do I have
That seems to attract you to me?
All I like to do is be unique
So I'm different...
Can give me five good reasons
Of why you picked me of all people?
Is it out of pity, lust, or love?
If it is because of love, then I'm confused
Unless you know that I'm just masking my true feelings

Love... such a mysterious subject
So unpredictable
Of all people to choose from
It chose me...

If I'm destined to fall in love
With someone that cars for me
Then is she the one that is meant for me?

Love is such a mysterious subject
It is funny in ways
I can't believe that it
Even chose me
Love... such a mysterious subject
So unpredictable
Of all people to choose from
It chose me...

Unconditional love...

Details | I do not know? | |


I looked in the mirror to be perfectly sure,
I was still standing on two legs, not on four.
To make absolutely certain the necklace I wore
Had not turned to a collar bought in a pet store. 
That the itch I was scratching wasn't from fleas.
That the shirt I was wearing
didn't say Spike, Rover, or Daisy.
There seems to be some confusion
Over who and what I am.
I'm a person just like you.
Not a stray from the pound.

Details | Burlesque | |

Anchors Away

Not the warship
Primed for battle,
Not the chained
weight to secure
a ship,
But the anchor
on the evening news,
Ever notice how often
they lose?
Changed near monthly,
sometimes it seems,
An end to their newsroom
star dreams

Kytee Dung, Dodger
Grimslee, Falter Concrete,
Tomm's Brokedown, so many
Which one you'll see tomorrow,
You can never be sure...

But as long as they are pretty,
And don't make of themselve an arse,
They may last another week,
And remain among the cast.

Details | Free verse | |

Tea Bag

Somebody took my teabag,
the only one I had,
Just what kind of scuzzbag,
could be that much a cad?
I only had the one, you see,
and used it 18 times
now I got the problem,
of finding something that rhymes

Oh Bag-Thief, are you from Bagdad?
is that the reason why?
You want to get even with Bushie,
and so you make me cry?

Just send me my forlorn teabag,
no questions will I ask...
It is a simple thing I seek,
I'm sure you're up to this task

and a word to my dear friends,
on my grammer, punctuation, too,
may not be up to your standards,
and from this I'll try to eschew
but remember just one thing
under the sun there's little new
it"s a take it or leave it proposition,
that's what I have to say to you!!

Details | Free verse | |

Out of a Cannon

Like being shot out of a cannon,
I charged out of bed,
Took one look around me,
My spirits, they bled,
Jumped back into bed,
Hoping to sleep,
Another twenty-four years,
Before out of bed I again leap.

Details | Prose Poetry | |

Ever Do This?

I know I'm probably crazy...but tell me if you will....have you ever done this?
Walk into a room, and wonder why you did?  What was your intention, what were 
you looking for?  It's a bit scary...are you losing your last brain cells?
Speak to someone you've known, or lived with, for many, many years...and 
struggle to remember their name?  Read a book, mind wandering, and you find 
yourself reading the same page thirty times because you're not quite there?  I'm 
thinking of putting a chalkboard around my neck, with memos to myself.  But 
knowing how weird I am, I suppose I'll forget how to read.  So it goes.......

Details | Burlesque | |

Tiny Tidbits of Nonsense

I can only assume by assumptions are assumeable.

God is not dead, he just seems to be on an extended vacation.

I brought a tombstone pizza to the graveyard- hope they enjoyed.

I only get a runny nose when I'm in the middle of an important job interview, and I 
have no tissues!  Ugh!

Is it PoetrySoup yet?

The best thing about being stupid is you're too stupid to know you're stupid.

Wild, wicked, weird, wonderful.  wow!!

Something tells me I shouldn't look down.

The dead don't pay bills.  Guess I'm dead.

I wanna kipse your luby rips.

If I had a brain, I might be dangerous.

Look hard into my heart, and tell me if it's still beating.

Just why do dryers exist on a diet of socks?

When all else fails, we can just quit trying.

Whisper sweet nothings into my ear.  That seems to be all I can understand; 

If I had a hammer, I'd probably have a swollen thumb.

If I had a swollen thumb, I probably had a hammer.

If music be the food of love, lets get right on to the dessert.

Goodbue, my friends, I'll be back soon!!

Details | I do not know? | |

A Happy Poem, we'll see! A Quiz Maybe

Happy , there was a time when I was happy,
I am not going to make this sappy,
But I have to write what comes to mind,
And hope it does it with a rhyme.

Now you know who you are ,
That this is meant for, 
And I am so happy to do this for you,
I feel so bubbly, what can I construe.
I know I know shall I make up a quiz
Ok it’s done, just don’t tell Liz.
Now she is someone very special to me
And quizzes she likes don’t you see.
Now where do I go from here 
And what will the answer be,
Has to be something happy,
That will set us free.

I feel so bravely in a brawny, brashly, 
Even boozy, bratty kind of way briefly.

Now what we are going to look for
Is something kind of green,
And can be found in the goofy, grizzly,
Gently rolling hills next to the grocery in Gatsby.

So I know that must have given it away,
So I have to be more careful in a certain way.
So now what can I tell you, 
and no it’s not blue,
I’ll bet the answer has come to you.
Ok it is small, 
wouldn’t say it is beautiful,
Maybe not even at all,
and we have to be careful,
Of what we say,
So we don’t  scare it away.
Ok this is too easy I am giving it away,
Maybe I should stop! Till another day.
Ok then Al my pal, Just to keep up morale,
Lets go look in the canal.
Doesn’t seem like a likely place,
But maybe there it hides it’s face. 
Look under the bridge and what do you see,
Hope it is not coming after me.
Well beautiful it is not, 
green monster a better word, 
Hope I don’t get caught,
This is getting absurd.
Now I need to stop,
cause I got away from the plot.
And if you are guessing,
A four leaf clover,
You are very clever,
Are you from Dover?
One last clue, just for you,
When you think of it’s name,
Think of a con, and don’t lep 
Reh, into the land.
Just keep this in mind 
all the clues that you have.
And, Al I hope you got a smile.

Details | Light Poetry | |


Oh, put me in a cocoon,
Where I can mercifully swoon,
Wrap me up in Mummy wrap,
If it means I'll get a nap
Hit me on the head,
With a pipe of lead.
My eyes are tellin' me
I'd better sleep 
If I want to see.

Details | I do not know? | |

losing lives

Losing lives, buying time. Whats a poem 
with no rhyme. Obsidion clouds way over
head. Lightening crashes colorful flashes.
What a brillient show, a magnificant wind
twist leaves around tossing and turning
them about. With love or without? The rain 
like tiny needles upon my neck, causing 
goosebumps that i didn't expect. Thunder
rolls across the sky it rumbles and 
grumbles until the night. with no warning
with no light one last bolt big and bright.
The Gods had a disagreement....what gives 
them the right?  :)

Details | Burlesque | |

Can of Tuna

Can of tuna,
All I got...
Nothing else to eat...
Seems I forgot a detail
Which lead to my defeat
For no can opener had I
And this was no pop off top
I started beating it with a hammer,
Till a neighbor called a cop...

He dragged me off to jail,
And wouldn't let me take my tuna,
He said' "You'll BE in the can!"
And he couldn't get me there
no sooner....

So here I sit,
And when Friday meals
come around...
I avoid any tuna...
I'd rather eat soiled ground

So let this be a lesson,
Always keep a bag of chips,
And if you get desperate..
You'll be so glad how easily it rips!

Details | Free verse | |

I Am Not Somebody

I Am Not Somebody 
Holding up they head they drift write bye. 
No water droplets from the rain 
could evere slide in there. 
They look at everyone else to be nobody there. 
Have they ever registered they fellow man. 
If it is The Lone Ranger they would quickly look away. 
And decide it was noone But Claymore Mine was there. 
Why do they decide, 
that no one can compare to them. 
They are the cats meow, 
They do not ever plow or work for scratch. 
They carry worth upon they back. 
They are somebody. 

Details | Free verse | |


Thine existence confirms/ The existence of
A vast contradiction to
Reality and its’ paradoxes
Blasphemous spirits compel me
Thine own spirit is thus devoured
Madness damning thineself with hunger
Webbing thine subconscious with
Crimson thoughts
Into an already shattered existence

Thine own thorned kiss confirms
Oblivious to humankind/ A nature becoming 
Paradoxes disembowel reality
Slaughtering the virginal lamb
And leaving thine demon satiated
And ne’er to fade
Time hath no hold/ Cast no remorseful shadow
O’er the skeletal moon
Thy must only wait

For Death to raise its’ withered hand
Striking thineself mercilessly/ Until it
Ends thine reign
And thy cease to exist
But until the ageless sun sinks away
Into the aqua infinite abyss
Thine inner beast shall rise
And with it so shall fear
Sweeping forth to consume the dreams
Of the sleepers

Details | Burlesque | |

Tiny Tad Of Tom's TidBits

I sent back the Bowflex I ordered back when it failed to come with the arrows.
Ever see "Smiling Bob " with the male "enhancement" adv?  What woman would 
make love to a cadavorous plastic smiling face like that?
I bought a giant "Universal Remote", cause I keep losing mine...It is the size of a 
surfboard.  Unfortunately it turns out it doesn't work in this universe.
I smeared "drawing salve" all over my hands when I wanted to try some 
sketches.  The pencil kept sliding out of my hand.  Guess I'll go back to cooking.
I hired a girl to clean my house...she's been a no-show for 5 days.  And now 
she's asking for a raise, and health insurance.
Only a batchelor musician would have a kitchen with 2 electric pianos, one music 
computer, two amps, and a giant console organ.  No wonder I always order in.  I 
haven't seen my stove in months.
I asked my doctor how I was doing.  He said, "Don't buy any green bananas."

PS- hope soon to get photos posted on line...first I gotta master the printer.

I ordered 4 Chinese food dishes specifying "No mushrooms!"  I got 4 empty 
containers for $22...including $2 extra for customizing!
I have a small religious plaque from my old home labelled "A House Blessing"
Somehow, up here, it transformed into  "A House Messing".
I'm very kareful witch my speling.

Have a good one, folks.

Details | Tanka | |


it's good when playing
just don't walk the plank,
operate a vehicle,
or sign legal paperwork.

Details | Free verse | |

I Think I need help

In the golden night,
The sun so bright,
It covers the stars and moon.
Where am I whence I were not,
Lost in a sea of words and gloom. 
I went to the left, which was right,
So why am I sitting here, standing?
Up is down but all around,
To put it straight forward, not demanding.
My hands are tied, so I cant type,
To let you know what’s happening.
I know this is wrong, so it is right,
There’s no use arguing,
Somewhere I am not,
Where I will always be,
If I were blind I could see,
The darkness so brightly shining.

I Think I need help.

Details | I do not know? | |

Yes or no I have to know, yes

Please forgive me for I know not what I say, is that someone’s famous line, I do 
not know.
Leave tomorrow behind, go out of your mind, see what you find, maybe a gold 
Live for today, before it slips away, but this is ok, you’ll find a way.
Tomorrow is what today isn’t,  but how can that be when they are what they aren’t.
One is one when there are two, two is none when there is one.
Life began when none was there, now it seems it’s everywhere, but is it.
What’s real is real, we might think, but what is real, but a blink.
How can I ask a question if know the answer is not true. 
If the answer is not true, how can there be a question; true.
You think this weird, well I do too. Was that a question, out of the blue. 
Maybe all three, for who knows what it could be.
If we agree not to disagree, I say ok let’s disagreed, do you agree.
Frogs in a mud bath, what do you think, will they yes or not drink.
Why do I say something when I have nothing to say.
If the moon rises and the sun sets, are they the same, who’s taking bets.
How can they rise or set, if they are always there. Does anyone really care.
If peter was a piper, why was he picking peppers. 
Oh pigs feet! Sow belly is good to eat.
Does anyone want to meet, make sure you bring a straight jacket.

Details | Kyrielle | |

Inspired Whinings

I always liked country music, but never could figure out what country it was from.

I will shortly be a contestant on "American Idle"

When my mother first saw a microwave at my brother's house in Ohio, in the 
1980's-  she told me how impressed she was at how friendly it seemed.  
Everytime she used it, it said "Hi" to her.  True story.

I heard about this old movie- "Twice Sold Ales"-  seems a sinister bartender 
would get a customer drunk, and re-cyle his urine, and served it as "ale"  Ugh!
Makes me wanna wash!

I had a nightmare last night- Angelina Jolie was knocking at my door, and I was 
in bed with Phylis Diller.  Ugh!

I got the video "Girls Gone Wild", and was (almost) surprised to see my wife as a 
featured star!  Ugh.

I just signed up to be a contestant on "American Idle"...I should clean up!  If not 
on the game, at least here, in my home!  Ugh!

I think, therefore I think.  I think, therefore I drink.

I signed up for a "cruise to nowhere"-  I wound up in a rowboat on the Hudson 

I like to consider myself a "pimple on the a_s of life"!

No more from "Tootsie Roll Breath" for now.  Keep on smiling!!

I get a kick out of the "Forms of Poetry" list....Like I really care!!
Pretentious crock of crap!!  Check how I list this One!!

Details | I do not know? | |


"The grass is blue and the sky is green;
There's something wrong," he said.
"There's nothing wrong," his friend replied.
"You're standing on your head!"

Details | Rhyme | |

Babes of Thought

The children 
in my head...upstairs
simply won't sleep
they have me pulling hairs
and ready to weep!
They defy my commands
and don't listen too well...
I can just wring my hands
and endure the hell!

They jump 
from nerve to nerve
and slide upon my brain...
it's more torture 
than I deserve
I feel as if I'm insane!
I've plugged my ears and hummed 
as loud as I could hum you see...
but their bickering still drummed
and it gets the best of me!

Oh, I repent! 
I repent! 
For those thoughts 
I thought before!
I do honestly resent
that they keep coming to the fore!
So...onto paper I pour 
those thoughts I thought to think!
Washed from my mind 
and dried in ink!
My thoughts to words 
rein no more!
I've grounded them...
those wicked things...
the thoughts I thought all day!
Now the silent bell 
of sweet peace rings...
and my wicked wicked babes
are locked away!

Details | I do not know? | |

I Think

I think,
Does that mean I am?
Are you sure?
A nanner is a nanner if you eat it,
So what is it if you don’t eat it?
It’s a nanner.
If you see red what do I see?
Why is it called red, 
Is it the same color to you and me,
How do you know?
If I hear a coyote singing his song,
Do you just hear a noise that is wrong?
If roses are red, 
And violets are purple, 
What color is maple syruple?
Ignore this ignore that, 
Never ignore a little spat.
Kill your enemies with kindness,
They will never forgive you for it.
Harmonious harmony,
Where is my true love to be?
Guess I am not meant to have one,
Well son-of-a-gun.
If jack is nimble,
How can he be quick,
Much less jump over a candle stick?
If I ponder on life,
Do I get to have a wife?
No just life …….. I think!

Details | I do not know? | |

Lost in a Dream

I think it’s funny how we deceive
We just think something is real
And then we hurt each others beliefs
If it threatens our relief

I think it’s funny how I seem
I know exactly what you think
But to me I’m real and you’re a dream
Another joker with a team

Have I damaged your little world?
Am I threatening your beliefs?
Oh wait, you never heard
What I’m saying is just your dream

I think it’s stupid how we deceive
You’re setting up your little scheme
Yet you don’t know what this means
Because to know this will threaten your relief

Have I stolen your peace of mind?
Am I taking you apart inside?
Then again, you could never find
Everything you’re hearing is just your lie

Do you feel that you can see?
Is everything you’ve heard meeting me?
Why don’t you smile and then breathe
Because you’re dreaming that this can be