These Business Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Business. These are the best examples of Business Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets
"Made In China"
They can have my money
If it saves me money
The toys I played with when I was young,
Says I enjoyed their hands
The Labels read
"MADE IN CHINA"
The cheap material on my back, the shoes I wore.
How easily they faded and tore
However, I enjoyed their hands
The Tags on my rags;
"MADE IN CHINA"
The car I own saves money on gas
A tiny Honda Civic, takes me everywhere
I love my sweet silver car
"Manufactured in China"
The never been used--Made in the USA--cookware I own,
Says, I don't work hard at all:)
Yummy to Chinese all you can eat take Outs
Thank you China for being part of this world
Thank you China, for making this world a part of yours.
MADE IN CHINA
Shipped easily in a box
Sitting in a cloak of black conservatism:
I feel my hands,
oily on the desk like shortening in
slate gray cookie pans,
the speedway inside forcing the absence of
And my thoughts,
so flippant to implore
if a man with a chartreuse neck tie
can see the long wet streaks
across the cherry plane.
a sequence of interrogatives
common to the bored walls
of serious conference,
evoking tone inflection
in the pattern of polite.
Darest I mention truth?
I am your whore;
infect me with smug integrity,
smack me with false prophet leadership,
just leave some crisp bills
on the nightstand, sugar.
Yet my voice models his wavelength,
relaying back the catchy tired language
of one hit wonders;
from the man who owns a chartreuse tie.
awards a loaf of Wonder bread,
and a two bedroom lower.
The world as we know it will end!
This warning the Mayans did send
But yes there's still time
After reading this rhyme
To honor Black Friday and spend
In England’s pleasant pastures amid the free wild flowers
Lie pagan ways the wise ones do not mock
And one adept at harnessing these ancient rural powers
Was Oggwool Fleece, the black sheep of the flock
Oggwool was old, much older than the old oak it was said
Beneath whose boughs the dark sheep’s plans are sealed
‘Twas said the sheep had come back from the other side of dead
With the darkness in that corner of the field.
The farm hands better knew to venture in the oak’s strange shade
Or to the long grass that the darkness gripped
Where Oggwool lurked amid the spells and potions he had made
A sheep unshorn and magically undipped.
Not limited by four hooves in working his deft skill
Unhindered in ambitious sheepish plans
Harnessing the dark elves to do his dark sheep will
Dexterously with little dark elf hands.
From that darkened corner of that English country field
His influence extends itself outside
His arcane woolly web through which his mystic powers wield
Reaching parts and persons spread worldwide
He has extensive vineyards in Italy and Spain,
He has mining operations in Peru
He owns a flock of ostriches down in the Ukraine
(Although he never quite intended to)
He’s engineering world events on scales beyond the ken
He has his hooves in business of all kinds
He interferes remorselessly in world affairs of men
With night-time thoughts drip-fed to human minds
Little green men fly through space in saucers flat and round
On interstellar missions without cease
But on their furthest journey yet, their enterprise is bound
To the ever growing plans of Oggwool Fleece
The politicians spin their words and armies shoulder arms
And yet do not beyond their small acts see
But Oggwool Fleece with thistle skills and other sheepwise charms
Is planning how to rule a galaxy!
‘ He’s Company ! … ’
He’s Not Down With Misery
and Not Out with The In(flated)-Crowds
But He’s Up On Lady Liberty …
Laughing, New York-Minute, Out Loud !
‘Cause … if Misery, Loves Company …
Company, Sure Don’t Love Misery !
Company … is Taking Care of Business
Strictly, Take into Account, Swiftness
… and Staying Out The Red
Things, Misery Cut and Bled
All Over His Spread-Sheets
Which, He Washed and Hung On Wall Street
Now… Here’s Her Penny for Your Thoughts Again …
Saying, ‘Get Me Out of This Rain-Check, Claim !
Man … She’s A Bottom-Line – Pain !
Boy, Throw Her Some Chunk-Change …
His Blank Check, is What Misery’s After
But, Company is The Man, and ‘ The Manager ‘
He’s Telling Misery, with Interest …
‘ … Girl, Stay Outta’ My Business !
… and I May Pay Misery A Visit …
‘Cause I’m Lady Liberty … Unlimited !
I’m Platinum, and I Got My Hand Up …
‘ Don’t Make Me Put It Down and Whip Your, You Know What !
‘Cause Company … Gets The Job Done !
Show Them How It’s Done … Hon !
Look … You Know You Got Lady Liberty
( and, I’m gonna Keep This Fortune 500 Company )
For: Jimbo (James Marshall Goff)
Business, Strictly Business (smile)
Because You Seem to Get
and Like, my Kooky, Double-Talking
Witticisms (Enjoy Between Your Classes)
and Keep That Education Coming
Globally, miners jubilantly jump for joy
Smiles on the faces of every girl and boy
The grins of a newly opened Xmas toy
Trade unionists bounce along the street
Music blaring and the tapping of feet
From nurses to Bobbies still on the beat
Street parties announced in the nation
Satan who brought economic inflation
Is deceased, now’s the time for elation
Its times like this I’m sad I’m an atheist
And can only shout and wave my fist
And then go to the pub and get pissed
i dont care who you are
or what you think of me
build me up and break me down
then take your "stuff"* and flee
i hate you
you know it too
so bring it to my plate
take a point and hold my ground
to not spew all my hate
you were so nice in the beginning
well, what the "heck"* are you now?
gone, love, thats what you are
a filthy ugly cow
i am still the nice guy
lord, you have said so much worse
and still im here, i still get by
a blessing, not a curse.
i didnt snap hard enough to say what i meant
(Show me the funny, part two)
Are you a Lesbian?
Did you major in the art of female anatomy and minor in multiple orgasms?
Do you know all seven erogenous zones like the back of your hand?
Then you may qualify as a Vagenius!
But don't get too cocky now
Just because you studied doesn't mean you'll do well on the test.
I've met so many people who can talk game but can't deliver.
I can't tell you how many times I've had to fake it just so I could finish the dishes instead.
Throw some moves at me!
Take my clothes off with your teeth.
Turn me the **** on!
Now you may be thinking that you can pass the test but please hold your horses because I've only met one Vagenius in my life. (Point to yourself)
I'm not going to go to the Adam and Eve store just so you can grunt loud and thrust hard while I don't feel a thing, I'll save the crotchless panties and lingerie for my vibrator.
And no you can't use a cock ring so that you'll have more time to try to make me cum.
And please don't get all sentimental and touchy feely about it. This is a test, you’re not trying to convince me to be your girlfriend. Save the kisses for the wife.
So come into my bed and I'll tell you if you’re a true Vagenius.
Self-employed and partner in life
He "hired" some other guy's wife
Making golfing balls
Now he has two holes
My new business ?...Surgical Knives...
for Carolyn Devonshire's "Horrible Bosses"
Great idea here
Let’s open a Haiku Shoppe
They go great with beer
Easy to find I’m told
They hide under nibs of pens
Don’t let them get old
To make a great stew
Take a limerick or two
Mix well with Haiku
If all has gone well
And your mix has turned out right
You’re ready to sell
One more thing to do
We must put them on a bun -
Sit and have a few
Written by John Posey