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Funny Brother Poems | Funny Poems About Brother

These Funny Brother poems are examples of Funny poems about Brother. These are the best examples of Funny Brother poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | I do not know? | |

Tempers and Attitudes

Tempers and attitudes in our house did stay
Guess it was because we were raised that way
Things could get bad when one of us got mad
If you escaped unhurt, then be really glad
For the attitudes would flare
And tempers would rage
We were all quite violent for our age
With our fists our problems were solved
I know that may sound unorthodox to all
But in our home, an evil ruled
In being mean, we were schooled
My brother and sister were taught well
Mess with them and you’ll pay hell
One day while they were playing together
Sitting by the stove because of cold weather
My brother had taken sis’s doll away
With her, this was not how to play
She got mad and started to cry
My brother laughed as he watched her whine
Well then she thought that little brat
If he wants to fight, then I’ll just fight back
So into the ashes from under the stove
She reached in and pulled out a bolt
A bolt from a rail road tie I believe
And trust me when I say they’re big
She turned around and without a word
A big loud crack from his head could be heard
Golden blonde hair now soaked with blood
I had watched from where I stood
This little girl with such cute curls
Has proven that she’ll rock your world
If you mess with her or her dolls
You’d better run at least three miles
For her revenge is not too good
My brother knows and this is understood
For underneath that cute exterior
Is the soul of a very brave warrior



Details | Limerick | |

Monkey See

Monkey See~

There once was a monkey named Frank
Who loved to walk the plank
He said too many jokes
Pulled too many hoaxe-s 
Ha! Ha! Ha! Then he got a good spank

*

Who's that monkey in front of me
I dare to hang with you on a tree
Oh! What I do? Will you do?
Together we are like glue
Is that my flea or your flea?

~ Skat ~

Contest~


Details | Narrative | |

School Days

(and long brown stockings) 

I detest these stockings,
they're coarse, brown and ugly.

I hate the garters more;
elastic circles that cut off 
circulation and fail to halt 
the laddering down my skinny legs.

If only . . . I picture myself
in warm jeans and no teasing
from Tommy Rogers.

I put the garters to better use,
roll the repulsive stockings
down around my ankles. 

Tommy taunts,
"Who gave you
jointed toothpicks for legs?"

I lost it.

Now, Tommy has a black eye
and my nose is in the corner.


Details | Epigram | |

Big Little Oxymoronic Foot

Bigfoot had a bubbling baby brother—
They labeled him "lively little foot!"


Details | Rhyme | |

If I Beat You To The Barn

Farm boys, farm boys, go and do your chores
Better take your hat for it’s sunny out-of-doors
Farm boys, farm boys, gotta milk those cows
Milk-em twice a day and feed the hungry sows
Make your mother butter in the butter churn
Argue with your brother when you think it’s not your turn
Measure off the distance you both will have to run
Where it is you’ll need to go to get the milking done
Toe the mark to challenge your brother at the gate
Divvy up the pails to balance out the weight
Farm boys being farm boys down there on the farm
And you’ll milk the cows if I beat you to the barn


Details | Rhyme | |

the art of making possible what is probable-w

A boy asked his dad, “What the elections are for, after all, Dad?”
The dad replied,” I have the money, I’m manager of you all, Lad?”

All money I have, give it to your mom so she is the Government
Maid, a working class, you the people, your brother commitment”

The boy woke up as baby brother soiled diapers that night
Went to his mom’s room and found her alone asleep tight. 

So he went to maid’s room, found his Dad in bed with her
The angry boy banged on the door but nobody did bother

The next day he said to his dad that he has been fully fed, 
You explain it to me son, in your own words, asked his Dad. 

“The management is screwing, the government asleep tight
 The people are ignored and the commitment not in sight”.


==========================================

Second place winner in
Contest: Election Humor by Carolyn devonshire
=========================================
Seventh place win in P.d.'s contest June'11















Details | Verse | |

Family Dinner

Everyone is dressed just right,

with our smiles slapped on tight,

we are having a family dinner.

The mood is tense,

yet we have to make sense,

and we can always talk about the weather.

 

We blow kisses and show our love,

everything is just right.

We shower praises over each other,

and pray that the night is over without a flight.

 

Ignore the bitter-in-law,

she needs some sugar.

She vowed to deny herself happiness,

since she lost her lover.

 

Pay attention to the chatty uncle.

He claims to be rich although he eats like a savage.

just nod your head and seem interested,

and hope the topic does not turn to marriage.

 

Sit away from the young brother,

once an answer to his question, he is on to another.

To the old man he asks,"So what do you do?"

and to the orphan child,"Where is your mother?"

 

The room is beautiful, the food is delicious,

a night with our near and dear.

This could well be the perfect family dinner,

but only the flowers in the room seem real.


Details | Lyric | |

It's My Birthday, It is Your Birthday

It’s My Birthday

It’s my birthday…  I look out the window there is no one for me owe so, owe so lonely poor me . 

It’s my  birthday…  you surprise me, with a Barber-Q grill  with a cooler that chills with a grin we show white grills.

Happy Birthday… it’s my Birthday I am still waiting,  it   is almost the end of my the day, just waiting on you to wish me a happy birthday which, well make my day. 

It’s my birthday…you do not remember that day, can we go out for we can remember that day?

It’s my birthday… I can share it or alone, some share it with a twin, or with a friend and the ones who stay to the ends like a good friend.

It my birthday…  its looks like another day to me I just need someone or something to comfort with me a room full of women and with hand full men, a juice in cup, juice in glass, with a sweet lady and grill on cut grass that may make every day feel like my birthday, with a touch of class. 
 
It’s your birthday… it’s your birthday you should all-ways win on your birthday, if do not have a mate you sneak and go on second party date form those who may player hate.  
  
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday!  it comes and go, I see you come through, looking out my window with a hand full company that is what a party really should need, yes it’s sweet, sweet with music and sweet with treats or  it must be the money, or food, or brinks, or just me.


Poetry 7/7/12 by author Keith K. Relf


Details | I do not know? | |

Why Are Church Doors Locked

WHY ARE CHURCH DOORS LOCKED?

I have been a member for many years. I attend when ever I can.  I pray and pay.
I guess, I took it for granted, but not anymore. I must stand up for all that want to know.  For all that need to know. No! I am not a  hero, but I would like to know. 

There was a time in my youth, when it was un-thinkable to lock a church door. Did congress pass a law, while I was sleeping?  Should I call the sheriff?  Why didn’t the pastor tell me?  Does he know? Did he lock the front door, side door, and even the back door? Does God know, the doors at the church are locked?  Saints, we are in big trouble.

Okay! Let’s get serious. Are you trying to keep something locked out? Are you trying to keep something locked in? This could be a sin. There are two individuals in the congregation that I can ask.  They certainly must know answer. After all, their name is Brother Lock and Brother Smith. Yes! The Lock Smith Brothers. 

Now if the Devil is locked up, when I leave church, I’m okay with that. You say, I should not worry about this.  Well! It is now at the top my list. I want to know more. It’s time to stop church crime.  

Dr. "G"


Details | Narrative | |

Granny And Your last glass of water

He starts singing songs of Ireland and we are home in a jiffy
"What's a jiffy," my mother wonders
"Guess  where we went Granny?"
"I don't know but I have a feeling you are gonna tell me," answers my grandmother
"And Don't call me Granny!"
"We went to church so Poppy could ask secret questions."
"The priest gave Poppy a shot and a beer and Poppy sent me next store and he gave me money for  taffy."
"He told me not to tell anyone especially you about the priest cause it's only for the priests ears."
"He said God would take away taffy and I'd never get another goodie and God would strike me dead if I told."
"So I can't tell anyone."
"He did," and she starts yelling and grabs a weapon,"what kind of idiot would be scaring a little child?"
Granny is standing on  Poppy's toes and and asking him questions of where he'd been and getting a sniff of his breath
"So what did you tell  the priest and him giving you consolation and a shot and beer."
"That little rat ," and thinks about the money for candy
Later, Granny is chasing Poppy with that big iron frying pan and poppy running and singing
"In Heaven they have no beer, that's why we drink it here."
"You damn fool I'm gonna bust you in the head, "and throws the pan at his head
And later
Cousin Francis has bill collectors come to the house looking for him
Granny was four foot seven  inches and she starts kicking him in the shin
My Mother grabs his Dick Tracy hat and she jumps on it and flattens it
I ask my mom where I was when this happened and she pauses
" You were in Heaven Patrick waiting with your brother!"
The truancy officers bang on the door and want to know where Uncle Charles is
Granny shrugs and says, "He is upstairs and the sound of the window going up sounds
They all run upstairs and see Uncle sliding down the tree and running as fast as his
seven year legs can move
He comes home later that evening holding a goose under his arm
And Poppy has a soft-boiled goose egg for breakfast every morning
I ask Uncle what happened to that goose and He said,"one day he came home  and
they had chicken for dinner."
And Poppy was gone to heaven to get me and my brother ready Mom says
And Granny sits my brother and me on her lap and says,"you two knuckleheads listen up."
"This is very important so don't forget it."
"Treat people the way you want to be treated, because you never know who is going to hand you your last glass of water"


Details | Limerick | |

Oh Snap

<                              amidst afternoon's summer's pose / nap
                                are nana's two little handsome chaps
                                logan and just lucas
                                bonded secured by trust
                                brotherly love now don't make me snap
                                                          
                                                                
                                
                                
                                
                                 
                                 
                                                           
Written By Katherine Stella 5/15/11

Entry For Miranda Lambert's
Brotherly Love Contest
G.L. ALL


Details | Rhyme | |

When Daddy Did The Cooking

My brother was first at the table
to pile six pancakes on his plate.
I don’t know how he stayed so skinny
given the amount that he ate.
My daddy had made the hot syrup
from white sugar or so he had thought.
After one bite my brother was choking,
hair rising as though he’s besot.
Then Dad yelled ,”Don’t pour the syrup. 
Instead of sugar, I grabbed Epsom Salt. "


Won No. 5


Details | Narrative | |

How to Burn a Field

(Good Advice Spurned)

Grandmother packed a picnic lunch.
Brother, sister, and I, with two uncles
traipsed into the woods,
in search of adventure.

We found it.
We ate our picnic lunch, sitting 
on a fallen tree, spanning the creek.

We sampled “Rabbit Ice,” formed 
on weeds, hugging the stems
in smooth, thin white curls.
We drank creek water in cupped hands,
so cold, we shivered.

“Let’s build a fire,” my brother said.
Uncle Larry cautioned, “You’d better not. 
You’ll set the field on fire.”
We built the fire,
warmed our cold hands.

As the circle of fire began to spread,
we beat it with branches,
water carried from the creek in our hats. 
Undaunted, the fire ate up the dry grass,
spreading like a pond ripple
from a rock thrown in.

Uncle Larry refused to join
our efforts to ‘beat out’ the fire.
He stood, callously laughing
at our futile efforts.
The entire field burned.

We worried all afternoon.
What would Granddad say,
when he saw the black field
from the kitchen window?


Details | Rhyme | |

Oh Brother

Hey! I am your long lost brother Remember the one who moved over sea? The one who always tormented you, Made you fall and graze your knee. The one who pulled the heads of your dollies, Set fire to your dolls house The one who accidentally while you were out Killed your little pet mouse. The one who called you silly names, And sniggered at your fashion trends The one who always went out of his way To embarrass you in front of your friends The one who told you fairies weren’t real Until you cried and would then still persist The one who broke your childhood dreams When they told you Santa also didn't exist Yes, I am your long lost brother You know, the one who caused you great pain? The one you really, really hoped You would never see again


Details | Limerick | |

FEBRUARY FUNNY BONE



Turning forty this month is a chill

For brother who’s not over the hill

          So he won’t feel antique

              Got a total face lift

Ended up looking like roasted grill


                                    ©


                                ---------

*fictional and wacky verse for my older brother
 on his 40th  birthday this February.


For Linda-Marie’s February  Funny Bone
By nette onclaud


Details | Sonnet | |

LOST KEYS! The Devil Made Me Do It !!

I was twelve years old, it was one Halloween night
My brother was driving me in his old beat up car
He had been told to take care, and keep me in sight
He sighed, threw up his hands, and gave me "that" glare!

We drove awhile...it was cold, spooky and dark
Instead of trick or treating, we continued our ride
In front of his best friend's house, he quickly parked
Told me to stay put in the car...then went on inside

I sat a bit afraid...then out of the dark, the devil said Boo to me!!!
Looked into the window!! ..I screamed, grabbed the keys...threw a fit, locked the doors
The devil was my brother.......all dressed up...he had tiptoed through trees!
His friend was laughing hysterically.....they thought they had scored!!

What they didn't know.... when I had taken the keys
I'd tossed them out of the window and into the leaves!!

...................................................................................................................................


(A true story!!
ps...After an hour or so, on hands and knees looking for the keys
we found them finally.................and yes!! He finally took me trick-or-treating!
We are still laughing over this story, many years later!
Actually, he is was and is a terrific brother, by the way, 
but still throws up his hands occasionally 
and gives me "that" glare..Lol!!)


Details | Narrative | |

Ten Brothers

Beneath a flag of red and white
A soldier quietly lies,
His mother sits just to his right
Tears falling from her eyes.

Brothers lie all laid in rows
Around his final bed,
A cross for each one shows
Their names above their heads.

Seven more stand by his side
With rifles standing tall,
Dressed in honor, feeling pride
For this brother who gave all.

One more stands by his feet
A bugle in his hand,
Plays that melody so sweet
Of taps now for this man.

Two more now step up to fold
Old Glory from her pall,
And place it in Mom's hand to hold
A present from us all.

Ten brothers stand by this man's grave
With respect in just suffice,
For this soldier who proudly gave
His life for freedom's price.

Ten brothers came to send him on
To take his final station,
But thousands more sit at home
Giving thanks with the entire nation.

Somewhere, lying overseas
The man who took this life,
Ten buzzards now has he
Giving thanks at his grave site!


                          Timothy I. Brumley


Details | Rhyme | |

Full House

Naughty little brother hitting people just for fun,
Soppy little sister snuggles up to harassed mum,
While other sister Lesley thinks she’s in a royal court,
And “Ten Ton Tim” throws the tennis balls he’s bought,
One hits little Lesley on the head with quite a force,
She storms off to her room, in a nark again of course,
She slams the door behind her once she’s made her way upstairs,
And then there’s the twins, I know that trouble comes in pairs,
Michael’s riding Richard with his undies on his head,
While Craig from down the road is wearing swimming trunks instead,
“Ten Ton Tim” then offers the other boys a fight,
One which probably won’t finish until very late at night
“You and Craig onto me!”; a tempting offer to the boys,
Who start to rush towards him brandishing their army-toys,
Lesley reappears from the dark behind the door,
Intending not carry on moaning any more,
Dad is quite sensible at stays at work ‘til dark,
I think it’s more crowded here than in Noah’s Ark.
Mother calls for quite but the noise just carries on,
‘Til Craig suggests they go to his and then the rabble’s gone!




(Written at the age of 9 or 10)


Details | Quatrain | |

Sister Wife And Uncle Brother

Sister wife and Uncle brother,
didn't really like each other,
so they left it up to me,
which one I liked the best you see.

Sister wife, now she could cook,
not too bad with line and hook,
but Uncle brother had good traits,
why he could name all 40 states!

Both of them were good in bed,
least that's what Cousin mommy said,
but Sister wife she had one ace,
and that there was her purty face.

Her eyes are green, and blue and brown,
one of them looks off toward town,
and she has no hair beneath,
her lovely, crooked yellow teeth.

Uncle brother, he's my friend,
I'll love him to the very end,
but he stops to scratch his britches,
'cause he says it always itches.

It is so embarrassing,
to watch him scratching at that thing,
but what am I supposed to do,
when Sister wife helps scratch it too?

Sister wife and Uncle brother,
suddenly they like each other!
I guess it's just a lucky me,
that has a great big family!


Details | I do not know? | |

Under my 8 year old Brothers Bed

Under my 8 year old brothers bed
lies my dog chewed Barbie, no sign of her head
a faded Snoopy cartoon, deflated yellow Birthday balloon
and one stuffed zoo animal baboon
Romote toy car from Uncle Tom
Cassette of Raffi, sing-a-long songs
half a fruit roll-up, and a beat up
tonka truck

A wooden dream catcher, made in Summer camp
his moon and star shaped night lamp
one lonely brown button from his Winter coat
A crumpled crayon castle drawing, complete with
an alligator filled moat
A real rabbits foot, for luck, from Grandpa Mack
half a fourth of July sparkler, old fashioned box of jacks
glass jelly jars of grass, sticks, leaves, assorted bugs
science fair worm farm living in moms old Garden jug

Under my 8 year old brothers bed
it has to be said, if you find yourself lost 
beneath it
you are as good
as dead!


Details | Limerick | |

Just Wait Until I Get Home

<                        once popped cork on bottle of red wine
                          hit brother in eye oh how it did shine
                          seen him go pick up bat
                          boy did I ever scat
                          right to canadian's boarder line

                          feeling like her dansel in-distress
                          along came three county mounties best
                          asked if nipping bottle
                          at fast paces throttle
                          answered yes now did I pass your test


                           tossed in pokie for now twenty days
                           poor ole missy now won't and get laid
                           darn brother wins again
                           wearing smitten hugh grin
                           wait until that welt begins to fade  




Written 6/20/11

Entry For Francine Robert's
Bottle Of Wine
Limericks Only Contest
G.L. All


Details | Rhyme | |

Mario VS Luigi

My name is Mario and I have an ingrate for a brother, his name is Luigi.
Even though our games are in my name, he's always had it better than me.
He needs to be taught a lesson and it will be left up to me to teach.
The sorry bastard takes everything, he even married Princess Peach.
He always got all of the attention from our father and mother.
Now he wants our games to be called the Super Luigi Brothers.
He went over my head and asked Nintendo to change the title.
I'm so pissed off at him that I'm starting to feel homicidal.
I sued Hollywood Pictures in 1993 because they did something that really made me mad.
When they filmed the Super Mario Bros. Movie, they made me old enough to be Luigi's Dad.
I deserve seniority because I've been in more Nintendo games than Luigi.
I was in Donkey Kong and years later I was in Mike Tyson's Punch-Out as the referee.
Luigi had better learn that I will not take his sass.
If he doesn't shape up, I'm going to kick his Italian ass!

(This poem was inspired by the Super Mario Bros. Games.)


Details | Free verse | |

Only Brother

He was the eldest,
tall, handsome, all knowing 
(by his own assessment).

He could roll a ‘guide and wheel’
all the way to school
without a stop. That wheel
kept rolling as if by magic.

He could shimmy up a tree
in search of wild grapes.

He could swim in deep water,
catch snakes for pets.

He could hunt squirrels with Dad,
shoot a 22 rifle.

He could milk a cow,
hitch a horse to the wagon.

He could zing you, square on,
with a dry corn cob.

He could run barefoot 
through woods, creeks, fields,
and over dirt roads.

But he missed the rafter,
fell through to the floor below,
knocked himself out cold,
chasing his cat through the attic.



Details | Light Poetry | |

Ant Farm

I have an ant farm and the ant that lives there works very hard, He makes sure that his house is always neat and so is his yard. When I stop by to look in on him I can see he loves me oh so much, And I always want to keep him safe so on to him tightly I will clutch. One day my brother asked me how I know just what he thinks of me, I told him put my ant it to the test then he would also see. So my brother got out a magnifying glass to get a better look, In the light the heat built up and my poor ant began to cook. My brother burnt down his house with his whole ant family, As well as everything my ant had ever built as near as I could see. Then the other farmer ants came to comfort their little friend, And to see what he had done wrong in hopes that they’d transcend. My ant’s wife said he had it coming and of the reasons she’d made a list, It made my ant so mad at me that he stood up and shook his four ant fists. Here is the lesson that I learned, I hope that I’m not being too verbose, If you want to know how someone thinks don’t look at them too close. When you put them under the microscope their faults are out of scale, And in the end they’ll have no other choice but in your eyes to fail.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Family and Me

It's amazing how quick things can change.
First your running with the kings, and then you're knocked out of range.
It's strange. I used to worry and stress over friends.
Now I've grown to be a man. Maybe know a few of them.
All that time I could of studied. Did better in school.
Got a job and made it big. Maybe now I'd be cool.
Who's the fool? Now who's the bull? I know that's not me on the top.
Life is always making turns weather you like it or not.
The past will always be the past. My glory days may seem gone.
But, now its time to start a new.The stories keep coming on.
I've got a new girl. She means the world to me.
She keeps me warm at night, my best friend, my new dream.
Since my car accident, still got a limp on one side.
Still working with my memory, still need a friend who can drive.
I love to Karaoke. I get noticed in bars.
My mom's always there to catch me. Tom's working with my mom's cars.
My sister's in the Army, my niece is a big part of my life,
Friend Zach keeps assholes off me, and God is my wife.
AJ's always there to help, Brian is my LOST bud,
Mary's out of school, Lil cousin, Hunter's a stud.
Grandpa still is my idol, JT is still the music man .
The Adam's still can party. Chris, living good on the sand.
I may only use one hand, but I plan to be the best.
At all I do in life, cause there's not that much time left.
The blood test that I took says Landon is mine.
I hope this all works out fine in time and help to make my son's life shine.
JC who's down in Georiga, my heart is screaming for you.
I hope that you recover well. It can't be worse then what I went through.
Uncle Jimmy where you at? Where's Matt, Corie, and Pete?
I know you all are doing good. Serviolo's are a hard team to beat.
How's the rest of the family? I love and miss you all!
I hope you all are standing tall and I pray we never fall.
These last words that I say, I say only to you.
We've got the best family in the world and you know I LOVE YOU!


Details | Rhyme | |

I Personally Know A Monster

*Please note: This poem was written for MY brother this Christmas. He is twelve w/braces.
He annoys me twenty-four seven!
And sometimes I can’t even sleep!
Especially when he snores and claims
in the morning that he didn’t make a peep!

He is filthy, disgusting, and appalling!
Picking food out of his mouth after  meals!
Often I think he is crazy!
I mean c’mon... he doesn’t even walk on his heels!

But no matter how strange he is,
Nasty and smelling like scat,
I've got to put up with his vexation
because he’s my brother and I kinda have to love him for that.


Details | Free verse | |

The June MELANCHOLY

The sun was up and the moon sank To great my brother a happy birthday We smiled and rocked, we ate, we drank To convince my brother of a lovely day Until five clocked when we heard a sound Which made us stop our delightful play The police knocked, arrested for disturbance. This suddenly turned out a bad day


Details | Cowboy | |

gladiator

our skills..talents..gifts,that we have..
these are our tools..weapons..instruments
and we just want to live..
put into a situation in wich we did not choose our roles..
some of us are the fans and the royalty
they watch people like me do what needs to be done...
people like me..we just want to live
so we use our weapons and do what we have to..
we didnt choose for it to be like this..
we watch the fortunate  crowd the seats of this coliseum called life..
and they watch us jump back and forth through shades of color..
they judge us...
but we just want to live


Details | Light Poetry | |

My Big Brother Is Watching You Too

"My Big Brother" up and down the street
  He could be anyone you meet
  Spying on you from the street
  Looking in from every beat
"My Big Brother" isn't that sweet

"My Big Brother" and I don't know why
  Casting in from above the sky
"My Big Brother" the commie spy
  Listening in do or die
  Bringing his book in
  Taught within
My Big Brother, 1-800-LET-US IN
  Caught with paper and a pen 
All because, "My Big Brother" let himself in


Details | Free verse | |

Moulting - for you

the next is like the first
equally shedding more skin
you do that again and again 
and I known each time 
you look at me 
we are transformed

and so we take each step
each page is torn away
a day, a week, a month
eternity in our eyes

this time with you 
like a wave that never breaks
a swell in the heart of the ocean

where the two race, play, swim

we are
the ones we see

in the next moment the sun rolls by
you lighten up the room
again a mirror 

to the little pools of mystery 
spilling out around you
giving up the secret

moulting in the broad day light


Details | Free verse | |

Kings Queens

Those who claim to be in the know?

These are the one's on sifted sand,
Through days filled with both anger & pain
When will we understand?
When quaint desolation sets in;

Kings & Queens of the Earth...

On a vast pilgrimage in truth;
We then make plans for tomorrow amidst the given sorrow
Yet one can so easily see...
Through a lone blade of grass to flee

To then react in bitter torn silence

In solemn vows yet taken amidst
Shades of grass yet torn asunder
Some even bother to kiss?
That very day they were actually born

Let us continue to be kind today

Amidst a broadened populace that has simply gone astray
To stay attached as fruit is on the vine
A mighty path created by a great design
Through inner pain & misery;

Although amidst divers path drifting as in mockery

Kings & queens of the Earth,
Now is the time to stop lifting up your skirt!


Details | Alliteration | |

BABILONIA

I was born in Babylon
Everyday I want to be alone
I prayed not to get low
Everyday Babylon claim more soul
I just have to go, seek for more show
I grow with no shoes under my foots
Ganger is my food, 
Mosquitoes sing the reggae allover my room 
Webs block my views, killing my crews
What can I do to survive when am buzz

Where is that place to get crazy?
That place you cannot erase,
That camp with more space,
Where you don’t have to get late
That place where you just want to be free from
“Babylon” Babylon” Babylon…I want to be free


If there is a question, it should be about relation
My action will generate your reaction
Is substitution the way to be free from Babylon?
The game is always ON, grow horns like Capricorn
Cut the vegetables; let’s be able to be stable


Details | Free verse | |

Sin

Anguish taunts through a barbed wire fence with edged grasp

Actions in which human beings rebel against a holy God
Miss their purpose for their lives
Surrender to the prince of the power of the air more then God
Cause  all of their deeds were evil!

Shattered
An eclipse of the sun had tainted my inner vision
Push back the pain with radiant guide
Does this notion in thought come at any big surprise?

Weak willed tyrants from the flood of dispinsation
Shattered fragments loosed in gloom climatic abrasion
Parts unknown from the setting of the sun
Sin

Leading gullible women captive under the false cloak of compromise
Abortion on demand
When will they ever understand?

Blood shed in our streets
Evil tyrants from elected officials overly prideful taunt & pull!
We each our responsible for our actions before a holy God
Sin!


Details | ABC | |

Family Commandments

Family Commandments


Thou shall not pull thy sisters hair. Thou you shall chew thy food.
Thou shall not stay out until Midnight. Thou shall be in a better mood.
Though shall not answer me back. Thou you shall brush thy hair.
Though shall not wear that in public. Thou you shall behave in here.
Thou shall not give me cheek and run as fast as thou art.
Though shall not rush thy homework. Though you shall begin from the start..
Thou shall not scream at every opportunity no mater  if thy lungs be strong.
Thou shall not dance in tantrum. Thou you shall stay home where you belong.
Thou shall not eat me out of house and home. Though you shall get a job.
Thou shall not sit round like a bum. Thou you shall turn into a slob.
Thou shall not fight with your sister. Thou you shall give her a cuddle.
Though you shall not bunk away from school. Or Thou shall be in a muddle.
Thou shall not make noise while soaps are on, if you know what's good for thy ears.
Thou shall not blame your brother, Thou you shall see his tears.
Thou shall not ever worry, Thou I am here for you.
Thou shall not ever be sad. Thou you shall be happy It's true.
Thou shall not ever fret, even though we shall have our fears.
Thou shall never be alone. Thou you shall know we care.
Thou shall always have a life, Though u shall be happy and care.
Thou shall not have a problem alone. Thou you will know we are near.
Thou shall not take for granted, That shall be full of pride.
Though shall never wish for more, with thou family by thou side

By Shirley Moody


Details | Free verse | |

Hot Oil In China

We have hot oil in China,
  Rising slowly from the ground
  There is a deep dense fog hovering round

The air is smokey, so dense it seems green
  The sun so hot it's making everyone lean
  Curfews so early all think it's obscene

And the hot oil keeps rising, if you know what I mean
  Hot oil keeps rising, it doesn't go down
  It's been well over a month since it covered the ground

Machinery moves carelessly all through the night
  I bothers us so much we boarded up the windows tight
  I bought ear plugs but I gave them to my brother Mike

Bells keep bleeping on and off go the lights
  So another pair of ear plugs I bought
  School won't let me wear them, saying I'll rot

So I decided to grow my hair long 
  Hide my ear plugs under it all day long

But when I go home at night 
  And I cover up really tight
  And I pray because theres nothing else we can do
  Oh hear me Lord, don't let my mother find the ear plugs in my shoe


Details | Free verse | |

Repent

We sleep deep with eyes reflecting sudden drag in turmoil

We lament then run full circles in distant fantasy parked by its brevity
In sleepless nights frozen conclave we insist that we get our way;
Shapes of frightened cold unleashed sway;
Colors flourishing in ambiance tempered in modest excursion

A sworn agreeable text to lament in hot regard to its pierced claim

Repent
~

Shattered glass on its myraid surface with plot;
Sadness in hearts that swell in its loosened conclave of ivy dew
Drops of loom loose filled the room faltered glow
Repent!

For the kingdom of God is at hand!

Through a choiced drama

Through a blaze of glory an almost different story!


Details | Narrative | |

SEA TO SHINNING SEA

SEA TO SHINNING SEA,
 
...this is so intimate of time, as a first kiss of time is...so close of soul, so near, so dear of heart beat, so precious a rhyme that flows so intimately,
 
deep of time, down by the Crystal Seas...
 
...this is so intimate of dreams,
dreaming reality,
 
as the Crystal Sea so reveals of destinies galore,
sparkles,
destined as the night light of the moon-glows of starry eyes,
upon the waters,
 
...gazing
 
...seeing tranquility upon the waves...
watching to the depth of a dream,
and a sun-rise
 
being so true...
 
for underneath and within this a moon-lit poem of starry night eyes, down by the Crystal Seas, a vessel sets sail upon the deep...into a kiss of dawn...
 
Sea to shinning Sea.
 
mb(2011)
 


Details | Haiku | |

FEET BURN

While doing sit-ups,
My big, arrogant brother stomps on my feet
“That burns my feet, bro!!”

While in recital, My oldest brother motions to stop clapping …My hands are red, bro…


Details | Classicism | |

what is family

Blood doesn't always make you family to me its loyalty and respect if I need you right beside me is where you'll be To me blood is not a big deal,To me it matters whos real and whos around when im up or when i fallen to the ground thats how i feel for me always ready to chill and for me will kill the people who always been there before and are here still


Details | I do not know? | |

Gone fishing

(This is a fictional poem)

Last weekend I went on a fishing trip with my brother.
Now we're both mad and we're not speaking to each other.
I accidentally hooked my brother in his ear.
I tore it off and he burst into tears.
Later he wore spiked golf shoes and put holes in my boat.
We were both wearing life jackets so we were able to float.
Later I caught fifteen fish and I sure was proud.
When my brother didn't catch anything, he started cussing and he got loud.
The next day he caught one fish and I caught ten.
He kicked my ___ and cussed me out again.
I've decided not to go fishing anymore.
If I want any fish, I'll buy them at the store.


Details | Blank verse | |

broremann the farmhand

Broremann, the farmer worker. 

Every morning at five thirty sharp, my brother Broremann 
had to milk five cows by hand bring bucket full of goodness
to the scullery where maid sifted it and in a churn it went.
He had to start milking Rose first, she was the mother cow
other cows wouldn´t give milk unless he started with her.
After milking Broremann had to clean the barn five cows 
make a lot of dung; he pushed it down in a hole in the wall
it was later used to fertilize the land. My brother was proud 
of his ability to milk and his hands were, firm yet gentle. 
There was a problem though Rose didn´t yield as much milk
as before as she was getting elderly and the farmer sold her
to the knacker’s yard. It was a sad day and the other cows 
mooed woefully. The farmer bought a new cow to take Rosa´s
place, but Broremann couldn´t milk her first, as she was new-
comer, so he started with Gerda, now the oldest cow, and milk 
the new one last, thus rural peace continued in the cow shed.  


Details | Verse | |

Geordie

Geordie is ma brother; some say he is a hero!
Me, ah ken better an’ his rating’s close tae zero!
He likes tae hog the flair wi’ jokes oh say dreary’
Efter twenty meenits we grow a wee tadge weary.

He has a better side but it’s hidden oot o’ sight,
An’ onything he says, Ye’ve guessed, he is ayewis right!
Ah’m no sayin’ he is stoopid, that wid be unkind;
Aw he really needs is a kick up his behind.

Hooever, he’s ma brither sae ah’m gi’en’ him some flack;
Ah’m share that when he reads this he’ll gi’e me plenty back:
Ah suppose ah really like him, weel jist a tiny bit,
Even wi’ his awfy childish doonbeat wit!

Ah should stope ma ramblin’s an tell ye somethin’ guid!
It isna really true that his heed is made o’ wid;
Naw, he’s truly brilliant….when he is far awa’,
An’ talkin’ oan the telephone he’s like a babblin’ Craw.

AYE FOLKS THAT’S MA BRITHER!!!!!! An’ ah love him!


Details | Prose | |

Snake Charmer

He hunted snakes, raided nests of snake babies, tied strings to their tails,
took them to school. Tucked inside his desk, baby snakes escaped,
slithered down, made their way across the schoolhouse floor and down
through a hole in the floor.

At recess, my brother could be found, crawling under the schoolhouse,
hunting for his snakes. Crazy brother, playing with snakes, chasing us
girls to hear us scream, hiding snakes in hollow stumps, securing their
prison with a board, weighted down with a rock. 

Many years later, ironing his shirt in our basement family room, a yell,
“It’s a snake!” He’s taking the stairs, in doubles, to put distance between
himself and the snake, who had crawled in through the fireplace vent. It
was a harmless garden snake. We had the last laugh.


Details | Rhyme | |

Mozfart

Mozfart, like his brother was possessed of rare ability
Performing in Vienna for European Nobility
Farts of such, power, passion and brilliance
His pants we're reinforced for extra resilience

Amazing you'd think to have a musical bottom
But wouldn't recitals perhaps get a bit rotten
But although be blew through a rather large horn
The accompaniments were pleasant, I'm pleased to inform

For not only could Mozfart trump his brothers Sonatas
Without the use of additional apparatus 
With variable, fragrance, flatulence was he also empowered
And could make his blow-offs smell like a field full of flowers

Mozfart's trumper was a musical revelation
Where ever he went he was quite a sensation 
Farting Bach's Concerto in packed auditoriums 
Then making it smell of roses for standing ovations

This attention put his brother in such a foul mood
He put a tub of fart power in poor Mozfart food
To deliver his grand finale the maestro bent low
And as he exploded took out half the front row

Although he died tragically
He lived his life magically
So next time you think you're about to drop a potty
Think of poor Mozfart and his amazingly musical botty


Details | Rhyme | |

I'm Not A Gorilla-Man

My brother played a dirty trick on me that was nasty to do.
Before I put on a Gorilla mask, he filled it with Super Glue.
I've tried and tried to pull this mask off but it's stuck.
I've been wearing it for three years, I'm out of luck.

Now I have the body of a man and the head of an ape.
When people see me, they think I'm a Killer Gorilla freak and they're desperate to escape.
When President Obama saw me, the chicken got scared and ran.
I'm a Human Being, I'm getting tired of being called a Gorilla-Man!

Some Carnival people came to my house and they asked me to be one of their freaks.
I hit them so hard that their jaws had to be wired shut, now none of them can speak.
Now my brother is blind, I got even with the creep.
I Super Glued his eyes shut while he was asleep.

(This is a fictional poem)


Details | Free verse | |

Eternal Vigilance

He had to be on his guard at all times

The swift forces of evil sifted through to receive his gait
Still in awe combersome state of resistance
What everyone simply needs in life is a chance
Eternal vigilance,

Then soon vanquished to its cryptic elemental heights

Some having even fought back the intense pain lest I refrain;
Another twist in prominant vice to promote its blow
Some our quite eager & content 
In getting the best out of me...

Some having sifted through its canvas setting abode

Others ponder relics in an excursion filled up in cold & distant stream
By a clever heart of careless scheme
Eternal vigilance
As fragmented cold yet distant hearts asunder

In stoic yet stark quiver in its plumetted excursion

Shelter lies dormant exposed to its inner beckoning call
Eternal vigilance
Within a certain thrust to expose eternal vigilance
Today are society lies dormant;

Exposed to its desperate rudimentary elements!


Details | Rhyme | |

smell

     Roses are red violets are blue I have heard you smell and your brother does to.      
  Roses are red violets are blue I'm sure glad I dont smell like you.
     Roses are red violets are blue i hope to make it so you smell just like i do.
  Roses are red violets are blue i can help your brother smell like you and me to.
      Roses are red violets are blue i helped you so you dont not smell so now you can help others to.


Details | Bio | |

YANKS

THERES NOTHING LIKE THE YANKS!
TRADING INSULTS AND EXPECKTING THANKS.
INVADING OTHERS LANDS AND MINDS!
SELLING TRINKETS LIKE LAND MINES!
THE MONGRELS OF THE GOOD OLD BOYS.
BUSHY TAILED FOXES WITH NUCLEAR TOYS.
SLIPPIN IN OIL AND SLAVE RICH SPOILS.
SUPERMAN AND SATAN HAVE PLENTY OF TOOLS!
LOOKING INTO THE WISHING WELL!
SOME SEE HEAVEN AND SOME SEE HELL!
THE GREAT PIED PIPER LEADS THEM ALL IN THANKS.
THE DEVILS HAVE ARRIVED WITH THE PRIDE OF THE YANKS!


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Seven-O-Two

I like to listen to Seven O Two at night
We can always count on Kiemo for a fight
If he was President for a day
He would insist on his own way

We could all be taking drugs
And the teacher could flog the thugs
White women he would send abroad
And pay himself if they could not afford

He brushes his teeth and sharpens his tongue
Then runs five miles to expand his lungs
There is no doubt that he can talk
But can he bring his taught to walk

Kiemo knows his constitutional law
Economics and politics without a flaw
Now all he has to learn to do
Tolerate the views of the dissenting few


Details | Rhyme | |

My Little Siis

My Little Sis

Without her I know just what I would miss
For she is something so special is My Little Sis
She puts in the effort to make life such bliss
There can only ever be one of My Little Sis

She always sends me a funny Christmas card
This year a bookmark on which she worked hard
Because of that I think I would be remiss
If I did not work as hard on this present for My Little Sis

Birthday cards are funny always a joke
Even the ones I send her at my sis fun I poke
Ever so glad to have her though her taste is so bad
You know sis, Triple H and that Shawn Michaels lad

Mother I believe gave a sigh of relief 
For the sports on the telly she would get some relief
But alas and woe it was just wasn’t to be 
For My Little Sis is worse than father, brother and me

I don’t know where she’ll go next what route she will take
But with her great determination with sis nothing is fake
She’s so kind and thoughtful “laugh” if you insist
But don’t let me hear you laughing, at my little sis

So sis carry on with the strides you’ve made
Keep your head up and don’t get way laid
When things look the blackest just look at this verse
Remember your brother see things could get worse

I suppose your not little time passed and you grew
Into a woman with a husband and children to
A Hettie a Philby you look after and own
I suppose that’s a sign that you really have grown

Yet deep in my heart you’re still My Little Sis	
Hope you don’t find that funny or think it amiss
On this birthday so special my love to you I send
For my little sis to keep even when time has come to an end


Details | Couplet | |

Who Love's Ya Baby

who loves ya baby
hmmm now let me see

I know my mommy did
even though her shoes I did hid

I think my daddy did
when I didn't make him snid

brothers and sisters well maybe just a little
when I didn't get in the middle

my grandpa and grandma surely does
for I'll do anything for them just because

I know my little girl loves her momma
even better than president Obama

my dogs and cats loves me
even if they continue to make me sneeze

even my close friends new and old still spark the love
for we will alway's go on and well above

paperboy surely does
cause I tip him for keeping my paper out of bushes and shrubs

milkman used to
when I didn't make him shu

bill collectors oh yes
for I'm their baby who they love the best

so who loves me
well lets just continue to see



Tribute To Love



Also Entry For
Deborah Guzzi's 
Who Love's Ya Baby Contest


Details | Rhyme | |

GREASER

You didn't go to fight World War II in Japan,
You didn't ever go to FAT CITY,
but smooched with a DOLLY
in my washed and waxed Chevy van!


Looking like a real DUCK-BUTT,
you have the looks of a clown, not a CAT...
staring at that long-legged PAPER-SHAKER!
Eat more cereal, ANKLE-BITER!


You didn't learn to drive and lead,
for a grown man that's a NOSE-BLEED!
You didn't go to those night BASHES...
never being attracted to fake eyelashes!


GREASER, PILE-UP-Z'S or GET A LIGHTER!
Put down the HORN you bought at the Country Fair;
don't answer back as you usually do...CUT-THE-GAS,
or AGITATE-THE GRAVEL with quick toes!




Details | Senryu | |

My Son's Enemy

Instigates trouble
Innocents bubbles within
My Daughter torments

Nathan Bane Leccese
© All Rights Reserved 05/20/2009











*My Son is 3 yrs. old and my Daughter is 2 yrs. old. I'm sure that will explain everything. :-)


Details | Rhyme | |

Suitcase

Hide and seek should be a simple game
With no-one hurt and no-one to blame

But you haven't seen it played by my brother and me
It truly is an event to see

I hid in a suitcase once when we played
My brother found me but in the suitcase I stayed

Down the stairs I was thrown
When the suitcase was opened I could only groan

I had two lumps on my forehead
"I walked into a door" is what I said


Details | I do not know? | |

Third degree burns

(This is a fictional poem)

When I syphoned some gas out of my brother's car, part of it went on my shirt.
He set me on fire with his lighter and it really hurt.
The gas on my shirt made me light up like a Christmas tree.
If you look up the word pain in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of me.
My brother is losing patience and he keeps getting meaner.
I have third degree burns all over myself, even on my wiener.
I have some advice that will save your ___.
Never steal any of my brother's gas.


Details | Acrostic | |

Brother's Refreshing Run!


~"Run run as fast as you can."
~"Everybody knows you can't outrun Jimmy!"
~"Under the house! Quick! he won't follow you under there!"
~~BAM! "Reuben ~ duck! You can't just run up under the house!"
~"Eventually he will give up and go away. Then you come out!"
~"Now Reuben! Come out Now.. But run for the house!"


~"Curve and weave and he'll miss But don't you stop."


~"Bet ya money he could lasso a bull."
~"Lot's of practice make a bad boy good at what he does."
~"Actually he ain't all bad. He gave me some of his candy once."
~"Candy he dropped in the dirt I betcha! Or worse."
~"Keep your eyes open. He ain't gone far! Run! Run! here he comes again!"


~"Just let me lasso you one more time and I'll quit!"
~"Ah shucks! I didn't hurt ya! why ya wanna cry for?"
~"Mama better not hear about this!"
~"Ever think you might grow up to be a Bull? You need practice!
~"Someday when yall grown and learn about recreation ya gonna thank me!"

~"Everybody knows recreation is good for ya! Even a dummy knows that.

~"Babies cry and girls. Patsy's crying cause she's an old ugly girl."
~"Let her cry by herself.. Hush that up! Ya better RUN!
~"Alright, I won't rope yall no more today. Just one last time!"
~"Come on, eat this candy; It taste like dirt; But you will like it."
~"Keep yall refreshed is all I'm trying to do.. It's just recreation..It's good for yall. 




Details | Ballad | |

Z Lovely 39

She comes in just before 6:30 
Donald's ride will never be early 
Their relationship is not kept under cover 
She calls him her big brother 
Now they both drive a 300, Donald says his is better 
There is nothing like the smell of leather 
Zena keeps hers cleaner, it holds more shine 
She has a nickname I gave her, Z Lovely 39 
She starts to freeze when the temperature dips below 79 
Her heater is on full blast most of the time 
Palmetto bugs, spiders and snakes 
Zena will run a mile a minute to escape 
Donald said he is thinking about moving his desk out in the warehouse to keep 
from walking back and forth 
5-2-9 suggests Donald buy some Dr. Scholl's cushioned insoles to prevent his 
dogs from getting sore 
Zena just got her new clothing catalog from 1-800-SO-FINE 
It was addressed to her exclusively, Z Lovely 39 
Another day starts with my desk neighbor, new adventures will arise 
Donald will spend most of his day by her desk, comes as no surprise 
He has romantic visions tumbling like a dryer in his mind 
He will always big brother to Z Lovely 39


Details | Name | |

Jimmy

Jimmy
Caring; Funny; Sneaky; Loving
Son of David and Roberta
a Special Blending of Both
Brother to David; Trudy; Mary; Frank;
Patsy; Reuben; and Martha.
The Fifth Child~ the Feisty one!
Father to Ashley and Cody.
Grandpa to Taylor.
Friend to All who know him.
Good Cop? Bad Cop? 
Depends!
Are you the victim? Or the perpetrator?
Lover of his Family and Hunting;
Screwdrivers and Ropes!
Hunting Dogs and exotic Beasts.
Collector of Guns and Knives.
Teller of Jokes and tall tales.
Who fears only the kisses of sisters.
Who needs to make the rest of us Laugh.
Who always does an outstanding job.
Who would love to Out~fish Frank;
Out~hunt David Out~talk Patsy;
And Lasso Reuben just one more time!
Who loves to uphold the Law 
and to Hold up his grand~Daughter.
An Old Man today~ Half a hundred!
a resident of Ulmer.
Black



Details | I do not know? | |

Spaghetti Boy

I have a brother who is eighteen,
When he was a baby he wasn't clean,
Oh how he loved spaghetti and sauce,
Most of it that was put on his plate was a loss.

First he took his fork and set spaghetti in his hair,
Then he ate and got it every where,
To tell the truth, I wasn't really there,
And my mom didn't seem to care.

I bet he had a noodle on his nose,
My mom told me it even got on his toes,
He seemed like he wanted to save a little,
He spread it on his face, his arms and his middle.

I wonder what my mommy thought,
When she saw the spaghetti she had bought,
Wasted and pasted on my brother,
Poor poor little mother!

I don't know if I did the same,
But it sure won my brother fame,
At least in the family,
But now its here for all to see.


Details | Free verse | |

Truce

Today we fought and spat to see
who would be King of the Hill.

Now as our prayers are heard
we must declare a truce.

For even the bravest Knight can't climb
the hill of terror in the nights darkness.

But with the morning sun
the white flag will be tossed aside.

I will race you to see who can eat grits and eggs
faster and pull on clothes quicker.

We will run in the sunshine, racing to the
bent over tree and on to the tracks.

There will be no "baby, baby" truce!
I will be Queen of the hill!


Details | I do not know? | |

You always treat my brother better

(This fictional poem is written from a child's point of view.)

You just bought a bicycle for my brother and nothing for me.
I'm so upset that I'm about to lose bladder control and pee.
I just peed all over myself, I hope that you're happy.
You make my brother feel great and you make me feel crappy.

You always treat my brother better and you feel no remorse.
When I show Daddy this video tape of you and the mail man, you'll get a divorce.
You're asking what it will take to make me give this video tape to you.
You'll have to start shelling out cash to buy nice things for me too.


Details | Free verse | |

Milt This One Is For You

I promised Milt I'd tell him a tale
Turn on a little Hillbilly music OK
I was about  the age of six or seven and bootleggin was a real bad habit.
Or so I heard

We had one road called the Cannon Ball Road
Where the law'd hide in the trees and wait for the brew
Trying to stop all of these illegal crews
Or so I heard

Now where we lived there weren't many homes
And most of the owners worked their homes were so new
You see all this took place back in WWII
Or so I heard

One afternoon mom, my little brother, a cousin and me
Were in the house it was pre TV
The door burst open and a man ran in, "I gotta use you phone right away," said he
Or so I remember

Scared to death mom showed him the phone
We all just stared as he made his call
And Zeke my  little brother started to bawl.
Or so I remember

He hung up the phone thanked mom and explained
He had to get hold of his brother, he said
It seems he'd heard the cops were planning a raid.
Or so I remember

He left and mom rushed to the door
There was no way to lock it to stop another scare
So she and my cousin pushed up a big chair.
Or so I remember

The next thing she did was then call my dad
"Call next door to his brother " is what he said
Zeke and I climbed upon the back of the chair 
And looked out the window until he was there
Or so I remember

The cops did raid Bushers Grape Vine after work
And as it turns out they went to our church
We found out  he had ran nearly three miles to ask for mom's help
Or so I remember
  
Zeke and I had so much fun on the back of the chair
Whenever dad would have to work late at night
We'd beg mom to lock the door to avoid another such scare
Or so I remember


Details | ABC | |

Medusa's Brother

Girls look in your direction and see you comin' 
In the opposite direction, they start runnin' 
You claim you are in excellent shape 
Your face is a train wreck and you cinch in your gut with electrical tape 
You drive a Yugo, it's color is Slime Green 
You say you are just over run with bling bling 
How can you claim you have the perfect life 
You are married to an inflatable wife 
Women look at you and begin to cuss as they run for cover 
Somebody spray painted a name on the car, it reads Medusa's Brother 
You have no clue why everyone calls you M B 
You believe they are saying M D, you think it's short for Mac Daddy 
You wear your favorite tee shirt that reads World's Greatest Lover 
In the females eyes you will always be Medusa's Brother 
Well M B, for you there is some bad news 
You will always be singing the lonely man's blues 
You have asked M TV to pimp your ride 
They can fix your car but your face you can't hide 
You say well, I guess it's true, a man's best friend is his mother 
But did occur to you, your mom also calls you Medusa's Brother


Details | I do not know? | |

You weren't delivered by a stork!

(This is a fictional poem)

When you told that story at the age of five, it was cute.
But telling it at twenty-four isn't astute.
Stop telling people that you were delivered by the stork.
It's stupid and it makes you sound like a dork.

You're embarrassing yourself and you're embarrassing me too.
Stop telling that story and people might stop laughing at you.
You try my patience and it's very irritating to have you for a brother.
If you don't stop telling that story, I'll tell people that you and I don't know one 
another.


Details | Rhyme | |

Crazy Daisy

When I was little I had a cat
A sweet old thing named Daisy
My brother tied a bell on her tail
And drove my poor cat crazy
 
Daisy took off running
That bell just jingling away
I was so mad at my brother
I put sand in his modeling clay
 
Poor Daisy finally made it home
She'd lost the bell somewhere
And she was soon her old self
With my tender, loving, care


Details | I do not know? | |

Spiked

(This is a fictional poem)

I'm going to be in this hospital for awhile.
I spiked a watermelon like Sergeant Carter did on Gomer Pyle.
I filled the watermelon with vodka and gave it to my obnoxious friend.
He gave it to his seven feet five brother and my life nearly came to an end.
His brother was president of a corporation and he sure was admired.
But when he went to work drunk, he got fired.
He beat the crap out of me and he wouldn't stop.
My blood was gushing, it had to be wiped up by a mop.
I lost so much blood that I nearly died.
Instead of taking it like a man, I wet my pants and cried.
You have no idea what that pain felt like.
That will be the last watermelon that I'll spike.


Details | I do not know? | |

I slept with my brother's wife

(This is a fictional poem)

I slept with my brother's wife and now he's getting a divorce.
He used me for a punching bag and I began to feel remorse.
I couldn't resist his wife when I saw her wearing that tight sweater.
My brother broke most of my bones and it took me months to get better.
When I told my brother that his wife is easy, he had a fit.
But you know she has to be easy because I weigh 600 pounds and I'm a man 
who has great big tits.
When I pinched a nurse's ###, her husband beat me up too and my body sure 
did ache.
If I ever have to fight another woman's husband, I'm going to make sure that he's 
someone I can take.