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Free Verse Teen Poems | Free Verse Poems About Teen

These Free Verse Teen poems are examples of Free Verse poems about Teen. These are the best examples of Free Verse Teen poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

This Girl

This girl, she's crying inside,
But all everyone sees is smiles,
This girl, she's hurting inside,
She's lived like this for quite a while,
Always holding her pain inside, 
She won't ruin everyone's time,
This girl, she's breaking down inside,
But all she does is smile,
Those deep eyes,
Hold a lot world of misery,
Playing pictures from her mind,
Showing her past, her history,
She doesn't want to remember,
But the memories continue to play,
Every night she prays,
Wishing them away,
But this girl lies with her laugh,
And hides behind a mask,
So that no-one can see her pain,
Her past, her denials,
This girl, she's dying inside,
Although no-one can see her pain,
She just continues to smile bright,
From day to everyday,
With beautiful lying eyes,
For everyone to see,
Everyone and anyone,
Everyone but me.


Details | Free verse | |

THE POWER IS GREATER

THE POWER IS GREATER!

The Big Bang designed the stratosphere and troposphere.
Below both majestic presence, Earth is the topography.
Today, all God’s creature roams freely.
Human being munificence is magnanimousness.

Now sits a child fulfilled.
She has her ink pen.
She aspires to be a writer – a great poet someday.
She is real to a righteous path.
Her themes and topics display a certain initiative.
God’s kind of poetry she leitmotifs vigorously and the melodies manifested.

A theological epitome inner cores and personification of the spirit went aglow.
Her radiance was beautiful.
Her voice recited the glory of the omnipotent.

God had sent the gift of psalm and she embraced him with open arms.
Baptism converted her soul to be a modern-day Apostle of the Lord God.
 
Prophecy she formed.
Wisdom and knowledge was born.
Her innateness was so strong that she was a natural.
Her libretti brought smiles.
When a release was necessitated from emotional dismay, her librettos bring hope and puts God’s speed in place.

The Lord God sent the gift of psalm.
In a whisper, is the strength of voice.
The Lord God provides the power.

The people exclaim, “This is God’s kind of poetry.”
Eloisa proclaims, “This is praise and worship of the omnipotent."
___________________________________________|
PENNED ON SEPTEMBER 19, 2014 @ 12:48 A.M.!
Challenge Title "God's Kind Of Poetry' Contest!


Details | Free verse | |

The Bakery and a Buttermilk Bar

I'd almost forgotten, how fondly this little hamlet
snuggles tight against the purple hills, and how State street
divides the town into two parts, like a pizza, one half a progressive present,
and the other half, the antiquated past.   The old library building still exists,
although now home to an upscale art gallery, but, over there, on the western slice
of the pizza, is a geometrical shaped building that
is now called library, even though it looks more like the Star-ship Enterprise.
I drive slowly past old Gibble Park,  and across the street is the same,
weathered brick building, where I spent many early summer mornings

Suddenly, I surrender to the decade when I was seventeen, 
working a summer job, helping Mrs. Casey. 
Back then, it was the only bakery in town, and I worked  a morning shift.
I was cashier, and handed out powdered donuts, jellied scones, and giant bear claws, 
to familiar faces that never seemed worried about cholesterol, sugar, saturated fats. 
Day after day,  they sampled with satisfaction, and gossiped, and enjoyed the morning routine.

I remember, with my own naive' innocence, befriending
a quiet, middle-aged man, with glossy dark hair, Cary Grant looks, and his overly charming smile.
I thought him to be nice, and knew who he was, from his daughter, who was a school mate, from a class below me at my high school

Mrs. Casey, (with a crease in her brow)  telling me
"Look out for that one" but never quite making it clear just what she meant by such a comment 
He always came by on his way to work, ordered  a buttermilk bar, ...helped himself to a paper cup of coffee, then often talked with me, while I wiped down the glass cases, and waited on other customers. But, I was flattered by the attention, 
Unexpectedly, when the end of  summer came,  while paying me for his buttermilk bar,he smiled sadly, barely said a word, and out of his pocket, he handed me a small package. 
He quietly told me to open it when I got home,..... it was to be our little secret.
Not knowing how to respond......I said nothing.

Upon arriving home, ....alone in my room, I opened the small gift, and inside a gold cross, on a long gold chain, and a small. brilliant diamond smack-dab, 
mid-center of the cross.  I didn't know what to think, and I never told a soul.   
It has never been worn.....it is still in my drawer....and though I had been warned,
somehow it makes me sad to think that some things still aren't clear.  

I was green, wet behind my ears......but there seemed nothing to fear, ....
the lines were blurred.... 
Even now....I can't be sure.



_____________________________________________________
9/24/14 Written for Regina Riddle's contest: Blue Mountain Poetry


Details | Free verse | |

2nd Chances

Have you ever wondered if there really were second chances?
Do you believe in them?
I once thought that we get as many chances needed
But I guess that I thought wrong…
The first chance is always hard
To get back up on your feet
But I still hold on to that bit of hope…

Like the stars!
I'll keep going till I burn out
Like a river!
I'll keep pushing forward till I dry out
Simply because…
I have someone right behind me
And I believe that I have a second chance now
Which means that second chances are real!
But this is true once you have someone to love
Who loves you back as well…

Though you may think that many obstacles are too tough
To simply break right through…
And once you have fallen deep enough into your own hole
Do you believe that you can get back out?
My life had nothing but holes
And a few ditches as well
But I now can keep going because of her…

Like a rose!
I'll keep living till I wither away
Like a river!
I'll keep flowing till there's no way
Simply because…
I have someone who believes in me
And I believe that I have a second chance now
Which means that second chances are real!
This is very true once you have someone to love
Who loves you back as well…

The first chance is always hard
To get back up on your feet
But I still hold on to that bit of hope…

Like the stars!
I'll keep going till I burn out
Like a river!
I'll keep pushing forward till I dry out
Simply because…
I have someone right behind me
And I believe that I have a second chance now…
Like a rose!
I'll keep living till I wither away
Like a river!
I'll keep flowing till there's no way
Simply because…
I have someone who believes in me
And I believe that I have a second chance now
Which means that second chances are real!
This is very true once you have someone to love
Who loves you back as well…
And…that is why I will always be happy
Because I have someone like her…


Details | Free verse | |

Daily Thoughts

Everyone thinks they can relate to me
but nobody really understands,
they lie just so you feels as if your not the only one with problems.
the only people that feel as if you do
are the ones that have experienced
what you have.

have you ever felt suicide flowing 
through your veins?
or the sickness thats in your blood
it just drips out of your scars
and spreads to your fellow friends.

have you ever had a kiss of venom
from someone you cant have?
or the touch of someone who wants you 
so much that they have killed
your heart all together.

not understanding yourself so you
go to your friends to council you,
then you just close your eyes
and forget all your feelings?

did you ever hold your tears in so hard
that your eyes start to burn?
or make out as if your smiles are
pretend?
it is easier than answering everyones 
questions over and over.

what about when you see your desire
and your hands start to tremble and
tears fall like nothing before?
you try to imagine what life is like
but when you start it kills you
instantly.

your hell is my heaven
but im just an illusion of your god
and a prediction of the devil.
have you looked so hard that the star
has burnt a symbol in you?

no one cares about your life just whats 
in it.
the talk can lead your head to desicions
you dont want to make.
but like you make your own thoughts 
and everyone disagrees anyway.

if i could stop everyone 
for just a second or a half
i would hate it to tell the truth
but for me to stop my own life
would be a pleasure.

they say listen to your heart but for me
its too late,
because my heart has already stopped.


Details | Free verse | |

I Just

A lifeless body
A hollow shell of what once was
She once spoke with passion
Laughed at a simple joke
She loved fiercely
An unconditional love
She was so happy
Shone brightly from the inside out
But then it all changed
She spoke scarcely
They saw sadness in her eyes
Eyes that shimmered with unshed tears
What had happened to this girl
Why had she lost her shine
Now she lays motionless on the ground
The blood pools under her
She's curled up
As if to ward off cold
Written on the wall are bright red letters
"I just wanted some one to care"


Details | Free verse | |

IQ Test

I could care less about the four 
corners of insults, 
That intelligence invites; 
It is always the first straw of 
grass that’s grows, 
which reveals the popular outcast; 
As a youth, I found my image cut down 
into this manufactured silhouette.

Drenched in social rain, my peers 
had never found me more alienated, 
Then when I spoke fluently of diverse 
topics; 
They did everything in their power to provide 
a verbal umbrella, 
However, the texture remains weak and 
defeated.

This stormy parade that remains’ dripping is
indeed an afterthought, 
For within this cranial mansion resides 
additional rooms, 
For the more abstract and surreal 
elements of life; 
It is that secluded gland which reveals 
the renaissance of men, who wear 
infinite Fedoras.

Now wearing the shoes of a young 
man, 
A taste of charisma resides in my 
veins; 
However this slight addiction to external 
haze, 
Comes in second to my first drug of 
choice: Wisdom. 

Membership into this fraternity may take a lifetime; 
So don’t be surprised when resistance 
knocks at your door, 
Intimidated by the lion that dwells within 
your temple; 
Indeed intellect is the misunderstood 
fruit, 
That blossoms sweeter when accepted.


Details | Free verse | |

With you in autumn evening

The sweet songs of birds, We hand in hand across the lawn, Pansies white yellow and violet Tossing their heads in the breeze. Somewhere the sound of falling leaves. The sound of squirrel cracking the walnut. Calm weather warm sun, White fluffy clouds forming different shapes, A passenger flight in the blue sky, Sun born in the horizon and about to fade in the horizon, Both our heartbeats echo inside of chest, Shutting and opening of our lips, Your unkempt hair flying backwards, Yellowish west sky. Heart shaped fig leaf's shadow. If I could stop this world from spinning, I would do so, Just to be with you In this autumn evening.


Details | Free verse | |

Legendary Lady Leaders I salute you

I am like
Cleopatra
embraced by serpents many
fear
always trying something new
and dramatic with my
hair
I am like
Eva Patrón
growing up with a painful family
getting lost in movies
thinking of my own
hypnotizing when I speak
First lady of Argentina
meeting you, after death
would be a treat
a nervous habit, of nibbling
on my jewelry
the similarities, between us
gave me a sense of foolery
I am like
Wilma Mankiller
Chief of the Cherokee Tribe
for ten years
fighting against Native stereotypes
despite such distress
enemies did stress
promoting to ‘be of good mind’
you were a leader, of your time
an advocator for women
that they may grow up
and become chief
as a child, you wondered
the forests, like me
not the streets
I am like
Aung San Suu Kyi
wearing three types of 
flowers in your hair
feeling at times like a 
‘splinter of glass, sharp, glinting
power to defend itself against hands
that try to crush’
winner of a Nobel Peace Prize, 
for courage, was
a must
I am like
Catherine The Great
a love to laugh,
coffee, and feeling compelled
to always fill abandoned blank
sheets of paper
you were a Royal Russian Empress,with
not one red drop of Russian blood
and her people, were blessed
to have her
I am like
the Queen of England
longest royal lifetime in history
strong built, from a miserable childhood
toughened her
this is no mystery
preferring candle light
to electricity
handwriting over typewriter
and poetry
I am like
Indira Gandhi
dreaming to live as she did
riding elephants and having
tiger cubs as companions
your own Sikh security
killed you, the story
a sad one
secret dreams of being a writer
angered, by the imbalance of
power
between men and women
listening to beat poets
like Ginsberg
as a great Prime Minister of India 
you were heard
and understood
I am like
Rigoberta Menchú
drew the worlds attention to 
native Indians rights,
because of you
your goal, to be
a drop of water on a rock
dripping in the same spot,
eventually in the world, you
may leave a mark
wearing many colors
‘because it gives you life’
insisting men and women be equals
you fought this fight
to relax, as I do
writing poetry into
 the night
I am like
Joan of Arc
French Military Heroine
burned at the stake at just
age nineteen
known for keeping your cool
even on the battlefield
being a courageous and inspirational
rare jewel
Legendary Lady Leaders
I salute you



Details | Free verse | |

Since First I Saw You

Since first I saw you, it was your eyes,
mesmerizing, your gaze transporting
me to a realm, not of fantasy, real,
where young men go when cupid’s
arrow takes root.

Since first I saw you, it was your lips,
captivating, holding me frozen 
in anticipation of our lips brushing
for the first time.

Since first I saw you, it was your voice,
a crescendo, light, invigorating, 
each word you speak intensifies 
my hearing, enveloping each
note, time ceases as I hang motionless
savoring, memorizing.

Since first I saw you, it was your hair,
long, flowing, gently rising above
your shoulders as a slight breeze
passes through sending waves
of your essence my way. 
The sun magnifying each strand, 
highlighting the minute
variances of invigorating color, 
creating a halo effect, a portrait of
your beauty forever imprinted.

Since first I saw you, It was you,
my love forever more for you,
only you.


Details | Free verse | |

Jungle Love

Your sweet nectar
wraps around my senses
like jungle vines
steady drums beating
Your heart near mine

Your strong hands
hold me suspended
by my waist
Just enough pain and strength
against my supple skin
For my taste

The musk of your
sculpted body and the forest
has me going wild
But yet, the tender way you
protect me, reminds me of
Being a child

A safe familiarity
with a strain of animalistic
seduction
Your invisible hold over me
leaves me arrow poisoned
Unable to function

My long dark hair wraps you
with smells of coconut and ocean Sun
your locks full of mud and enemies
Blood
together, my warrior
We make One



Details | Free verse | |

Truth Be Told

"THE whole truth and nothing but the truth"


Precious and so innocent the heart of a young child.
The heart produces feelings of warmth and love so 
hard to explain.
As one reaches their teenage years these feelings
become more noticeable to them.
The mind says one thing and the heart says another.

We are left wondering which feeling to follow those
of the heart or those of the mind.
I chose to follow my mind and not my heart and I 
wonder to this day...
What would have been had I not been scared and 
followed my heart instead of my mind.
Truth be told maybe I am better off not knowing.

For P.D.'s "Truth Or Dare Contest"
Written by: Carol Brown
Written on: 02/28/2012
5th Place Winner


Details | Free verse | |

Rebirth

Ignite,
The missing light,
Forget,
What's behind.
Just believe,
That love comes again...

'Cause,
The skies,
Are like a hard glide,
In a shining rainbow's light...

All dreams and fantasies,
Can be reality,
'Cause fantasy,
Is based on reality...
But all histories aren't the same...

'Cause,
Sometimes, we dive,
In our lives...

So,
Don't judge,
For what you see,
Judge,
For what it is...,
'Cause time passes,
But, memories remain...

And,
Listen,
To your heart,
'Cause,
The body, does,
The mind, thinks,
And, the heart, feels...,
While, the soul, lives...

So,
Always remember,
To remember the past,
To live the present,
And to wait and pursue the future...

Listen to your heart,
Before you are telling goodbye,
'Cause destiny,
Might lead to demise...,
But, remember that destiny can be changed...

Life is unpredictable,
But space and time,
Could be controlled...
And even if some die,
We may survive...

Remember,
That life,
Might have an endless beginning...

All that remains,
Is to be reborn...


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Turbulence

The voices grow louder, Intensifying with emotion, anger lining every aggressive word. My insides squeeze tighter as the vitriol poisons my mind, How does such hostility exist? As the sound of hatred deepens, The feelings strengthen their grip, like a vice, So tight, I can no longer breathe All the negative emotions I have ever felt, fill me, Threatening to overflow. So long have they been banished… Enough. No more! My mouth opens, An earsplitting scream of pain and suffering shatters the silence, Sobs of sorrow and grief wrack my body, Murderous shrieks of anger and hate, Wretched cries of self-pity and self-loathing, Poison the air. Now, free of these emotions. But the monster still exists Within the dark depths of my mind.


Details | Free verse | |

Memories etched in the sand

Sifting warm sand 
through my fingers,
shimmering fine grains 
glitter my palm.
Sand,
filled with life’s memories
of nut brown days
of summer.

A soft silk breeze 
formed dunes
with our dreams 
that summer
when we danced to the stars.
My heart laced yours
listening to the sea
undulating waves of emotion
as we kissed 
on the velvet strand.

I still hear
the rhythm of the ocean.
Waves tumbling in unison,
a sweeping sound 
gently caressing
as we lay silently 
listening to sand
shifting over stone
to the faint chiming
of seashells.

My first love
a sea salted embrace
on a breast of sand.
The memories
forever held
in the sand
in glitter on my hand.


Details | Free verse | |

Dreaming an Electric Reality

Late at night 
    hearts pounding 
heads in the stars
   Three young me 
head over to the local diner 
   Their bodies are in one place 
 but their souls are somewhere else 
    The cloak of night surrounds them 
As they journey to their destination 
   Laughing out loud 
 They light up the darkness
In this Unreal City 
    the taste of unreality
may be just what is needed 
  Auto lights are reflected 
on the asphalt 
    The asphalt homeland 
where these youths 
    are living out their fantasies
and enjoying laughter 
   The laughter of youth


Details | Free verse | |

Life Story

I was beaten
With a belt or a hand
Time after time
When I supposedly did wrong
They never warned
Just did
They don't care
So why should I
This is my life story
And I've chosen
Chosen the dark road
They always pushed me
Told me to do my best
But my best was never goo enough
They beat
They yelled
But not once did they ever think
That it would effect me
From 1-13 I have no recollection of happiness
There's a gap of where my memories should be
This is my life story
Cut short


Details | Free verse | |

Blazing With Heat and Passion

Our chemistry is a fire
Blazing with heat and passion
Our feelings are a never ending road
Stretched out with time to share memories

Our eyes are a sunset
Shining bright to create true love
Our lips are the chains
Locked together to seal a kiss

Our hearts are the doors
Open for new experiences together
Our thoughts are a love letter
Speaking words of deep meaning

Being with you, 
Is the world to me
Because our chemistry is a fire
Blazing with heat and passion


Details | Free verse | |

Boxed Life--She Sleeps with a Nine

Boxed Life

She sleeps with a nine
waits for his face
his distant return
too close
looming

A tragic slime
smooth stranger
smoother lover
pried into her life
obsessed
frantic
impossible to reject

she lives 
twisted
a boxed life
pulled by strings
too tight

An explosion is inevitable
the storm's coming
and she knows it
so she sleeps with a nine
and waits for his face


Details | Free verse | |

we are stars

people are like stars,
some are younger,
some are older,
some are brighter,
some are darker,
some are bigger,
some are smaller,
but in the end we are all the same.
all together.
shining bright with our personality.
dont care about what other people think.
its their own opinion.
be unique,be you.
you are who you are, and who you are is all their gonna get.
so shine like a star!!!


Details | Free verse | |

You Already Know

I'm not great.
I'm not extraordinary,
But I'm okay knowing that
Just as long as you 
Love me
For being
Who I am when I'm 
Discovering who I am
And how I cope.
I don't work with metal;
I don't work with wood.
All I have are my words,
Spoken in 
Hopefully, a poetic way.
I speak and I speak,
But when I write,
In a way,
Nothing gets spoken.
I'm not motivational;
I'm not inspirational,
But as long as I 
Move a wistful soul
From time to time, I'm good.
I'm cold,
Scared,
Confused,
But it seems
I'm running out 
Of time 
And people to talk to.
I want to speak
With my words, but
It seems only my
Ranting of how I'm 
Stuck and lost 
Gets my point across.
I can send your mind
In a spin;
Only because 
I am constantly spinning
With overindulgences 
Such as
Being loved 
And even hated.
I spin from giving,
And, in return, 
Being spun some more.
Puzzles compose
Every metaphor.
Time-
Power-
Love-
Effort-
Trust-
Life in general;
Only, I tend 
To put pieces 
Where they belong,
Then come to discover
That, later, they grow
And start to mesh.
I don't know
If, looking back, 
I'll only see me 
Waisting my time 
Or looking over
What helped me through it.
I couldn't tell you
That everything I cherish
Will be there
Or even here tomorrow.
The ones who understand 
And know more
Of me than I do myself
Are the ones that
Keep me spinning.
So, here is me speaking.
I feel as if 
I'm looking through 
A narrow telescope
That is covered 
On the other end.
I see 
What I choose to see,
But what's that to 
The world?
They don't have the time
To keep up 
Or slow down;
Just
Going their steady pace
Until they find the time 
To waste it.
I wish,
I hope,
I wander,
But no matter
Where I go, 
I only see 
That I'm finding nothing.
My mind
Is tired, 
But my emotions
Are ready to fight.
Bring it on;
I can and
Continue to take your shots.
Take me-
Hold me in your arms
Until I'm safe
And fall asleep...
Maybe when I wake up
I won't be scared, confused,
Torn and lonely.
Maybe I'll wake up and realize
It was a dream and I'm safe
Because you are there.
I'm not great.
I'm not extraordinary,
But you know who I am 
And love me for it.


Details | Free verse | |

Bully

you pick on the innocent
pray on the weak
leave the unwanted in your dust
harming all in your path

they go home
bruised and beaten
filled with tears
a lump in their throats

still breathing
still a love in their hearts 
yet they have more strength
than you ever will 




Details | Free verse | |

Mystery guy

          Dreams and memories of what could have been,The past means nothing to me 
and then everything at the same time. 

It's made me who I am, and i'm glad I know but if I could change the past would I be so 
quick to do so? I want to have it all but the future never whispers not even a little bit 
I want to know it's secrets.

 I am left in the dark about what and where I will be the future no tears that promise 
pain so I don't know if I will get hurt. 

It's just that I can't help thinking about you and how different I would probably be if 
you knew that one secret that I held so close to me for so long that when it was time it 
was too late.

 I may spend eternity looking for someone exactly like you, it's because my conscience 
will never let me forget how good a person you were.
 
I was so deep into you that i'd lose myself in the moment and I have never felt that way 
before and I don't know if I will feel it again. 

Just waking every morning knowing that I would get to see you again, Oh it 
was such a feeling and now I can't even remember how it felt.

 Searching for that guy again with my whole heart and my whole soul... even if it turned 
out bitter I just wish I could know.

 I hate living in regret, I hate living in my head.

 It's filled with empty promises and dreams that are so far away I can't even feel them.

 I want to touch, this time i'm not afraid if only you could appear one day then maybe I 
would get my second chance.

 Reality is so much better than anything I could pretend 
so when the time comes I will jump into that mystery guys arms and fly free for that 
moment.


Details | Free verse | |

Beautiful as Daisies

She was Rachel, beautiful as her name and in all ways.
In innocence, caught up in “grown up, worldly things
Folks who knew her laughed it off took is as if a joke
At a loss to grasp the deeper meaning behind it all
Her parents were alarmed and sought to reinforce their rules
But it seemed it was too late to remedy this state
It’s so hard to understand how this change came about
One moment she was their baby, the next, a stranger in their midst
This tragedy could not have been any part of God’s plan
Lost, running away, leaving behind comfort and warmth
She, instead would hitch-hike her way to live as a stray
Rachel and her friends never envisioned the many dangers
For lack of better judgment, with her life she would pay
He seemed like an average “Joe”, wearing a jacket of softest leather
She thought, ‘He’s hot and dressed fine; no way could he be whack’
Inexperience and temperament silently urged her on
Repressed anger held fast as she played a game of dice
She’d been waiting at the gas station just off Route Seventy Seven 
Many hours past, as she mulled over random thoughts
Cold, tired and hungry, it was getting late as panic took a seat

Contn'd Pg. 2


Details | Free verse | |

Beautiful as Daisies

Contn'd from Pg 1

So she called out to the stranger and asked for a ride
Snow had fallen heavily and already piled three feet high
When she climbed into the four-wheel truck never giving it another thought
Before he headed down the highway, he went into a crowded bar
Intuition nudged her, ‘get out now, turn back!’ But pride urged her, 'stay'
He returned with a brown bag; appearing harmless as he turned to her
‘Say, you’re trembling!’ He said and flashed a breathless smile
‘Here, have a slug, of this, it’ll warm you up, pretty girl!’ 
Hesitation loomed for a minute then she accepted the bag from his hand
Young Rachel, was now treading a path beyond thin, cracking ice 
As tears stung her beautiful eyes, she'd never had a drink this strong
How her vacant tummy rebelled against the searing burn
Nausea arose from deep within, and she began to have regrets
Registering strong protest, her regurgitation would later accuse her killer
Her faith was sealed as there were no open doors left for escape
And before she realized he had made a reckless wide left turn
Down the snow covered dirt path through tall pines and fir
No longer were there sightings of sparsely lit farm houses 
Interspersed along the desolate, picturesque landscape 
The four-wheeler tackled with ease, snow drifts of fresh fallen snow
Where the following spring young Rachel's body would be discovered
That night Rachel laid buried under a few feet of snow
She was at rest now to awaken to eternity in sunny fields 
Beautiful as daisies growing in heaven, carefree and endlessly in bloom!

~*~

For:  Rachel..R.I.P.




Details | Free verse | |

Die alone and born again

The man with the plastic bug in his head
monopolized my dreams last night
in the place that the horsefly of my dignity
finally surrender to the impresario without a fight.

Seven days and 7 hours transplanted in my memorabilia
reminding the rustiness of the purple child
flatterers danced beneath the clouds of melancholy
and morality spreader the master plan inside my mind.

The disinheritance of my immortality the final day
discouraged my desire to see the forbidden love
restored my will to escape
manipulated the deep of the uncertainty above.

Released from the plastic bug in my head
try to cover my yellow child in the purple sky
laughing,singing,whispering,playing
seven days and seven hours before he dies.


Details | Free verse | |

Crying Red Tears

I hold it in
falling apart inside
close my door
walk up the familiar stairs
reach for my only friend
no questions asked
not a doubt in my mind
i tug at my wrist
let my arms Cry Red Tears 
full of pain desire hate
tape up the emotions
put away the fears
so i can hold it in 
and let my arms Cry Red Tears...


Details | Free verse | |

Just A Southern Thang

Watching NFL on Sunday
Flying the Rebel flag every day
Playing poker every night
Wow, Life is great

Yelling "Git-R-Done"
Mud-slinging in our big trucks
Listening to the crowd
Watching the broncs buck all night
What a wonderful day, hey.

Whether I am hunting or fishing,
I know I am having a great day
Listening to Southern Rock
Rocking out loud to "Kid Rock"
That is my idea of a great day


Details | Free verse | |

High School Sharks

I can already hear the whispers
Before I open the door
Walking down the corridor
Fluorescent lights beam down
Illuminating, my faults
                                                    “Look at her, she think she’s bad, doesn’t she?”

High heels clicking on linoleum tiles
Hips waving regardless of assaults 
Lips uncurled into a blank expression
"How the hell am i going to get through this hall
without slappingone of them?"
Head up, eyes open but unseeing the ugliness of it all
It happens everyday

“I can’t believe all those guys like her, what the hell do  they see in her?”
			“She’s just another whore”
		      “I heard she’s not as smart as they say she is”
“I knowww, she probably slept with the teacher to get into the A.P classes”
     “Yeah, that’s the only way, there’s not possibility of her having a brain,"               
                                                       "she’s too cute”
                              “She’s not that cute you know”
                                                  “she’s probably just easy, all of those pretty girls are”
                 “I wonder where she got all her clothes, probably from the 99cent store”
             “nah, too good for the 99Cent store, she probably stole it, stupid Mexican”
    “Haha, I know, she’s so poor, I bet she stole that  purse too, it’s too nice for her”
          “She’s so straight-edge, tree-hugging, boy-friend stealing, attention hog..”
                                                     “Stupid ugly slut”

Oh PLEASE, they don't even know me
Lord, spare me from these Barbie clones
That spawn over generations
Bleach blonde hair
With purses as big as their bodies
Hollow heads with a button nose

These, Sharks, beady eyed, immense jaws yawning
Try to eat victims alive
In a single gulp
Flock together like vultures mercilessly to consume
Girls worthy of attention
Blood-thirsty villains
Disgustingly morose

I laugh when I hear them whispering
Their attacks
Are bent on bending 
Twisting reflections in the mirror
When really, it’s beautiful
Inside and Out
I know what I am and could care less
About what they think
                                                                                       Jealously..
Is flattery, 
Keep talking about me, your making me                                    Famous
Movie Star Status, I have what they                                                           Want 

I let them feed on my inner glow
It’s what attracts them, you know
Until they get so full of me
That they
EXPLODE

 


Details | Free verse | |

You're The Weak One

YOU’RE THE WEAK ONE


You’re the weak one, you’re a bully.  The weak one is definitely
not me.

The bully is always the weak one, but your weakness you can’t
seem to see.

So, I’m going to try to shed a little light on your weak and inappropriate ways.

Your weakness began on your first bullying day.

Your false sense of power is not strength at all; it is a cry for help desperately trying to break through.

I actually feel a little sorry for you.

Weak kids like you always seek to find other kids they can dominate.

Bullies do this with vicious words, inappropriate actions, and misguided hate. 

Is being a weak bully the banner you want to carry for the rest of your life?

Get rid of the bully banner forever; take up a banner that shows respect, 
understanding, and tolerance for others, and always hold that one very high.

	Al Johnson
 


Details | Free verse | |

Something from the heart

something from the heart..
where do i start?
relationships have never been my thing...
so i just look foward to that day i give her a ring...
thats a while away...
in another universe...another day....
all i do is hope and pray...
im too afraid of rejection...
so i miss out on connections...
god gives us all a gift....
so what gift did he give to me?
im searching but i still dont see...
no gift in sight...
but i search all night....
my feelings dont change...
for years they have been the same...
throughtout this life i have felt pain...
its true girls will come and go...
but i want that one that will never go away....
maybe im just dreaming....
i close my eyes and its darkness...
i open my eyes and im heartless...
im no stranger to heartbroken...
why did it have to be that friend....
i guess thats what i get for my heart being open...

Still there is more to say...
more on my heart that i want to say...
at this point in life its stressful...
so how can i be successful?
so many things on my brain...
i want to lock them all away in a box with a chain...
its just so hard to explain...
when it comes to girls there is pain...
i feel like an outsider...
like everyone else is a butterfly or lady bug...
and i am a spider...
sure i really like her and she makes my day...
but im not really sure if she feels the same way...
she says things but it sounds like she dosent care....
my feelings for her make me feel like i can fight a bear...
or do some other kind of stupid dare...
her and poetry are like an escape...
but they are like a dream and you have to awake...
after a while  she fades away...
and its just another day...
notebook open with a pen...
what do i say?
its always the same...
"i like you but lets stay friends"...
to me thats like the end....
so now i start again...
and my focus is not a girl...
but the one who created this world...
i will look to him for guidance...
i'll try to do my best...
and leave the devil in scilence...
too young to understand love...
so i give up...
left here thinking "what the ****?"...
holes in my heart as if lightning just struck...
longing to leave this planet and find a new home...
but sadly im stuck...
so i will make the best of what i have in this life..
and never think twice...


Details | Free verse | |

First Love

We treat it like a marble 

in our pocket for a while 

we win it 

we lose it 

but no matter where it goes 

it always holds 

the warmth of our hands


Details | Free verse | |

Chemistry

The simultaneous effect 
of two glances 
across the last remaining 
distance between them 

Then 
    when first they met 

Now 
    when they are apart 

Each carrying within 
   the beat 
     of the other's heart


Details | Free verse | |

I Am Writing To Tell You

I am writing to tell you
that I don't love you.
I never did.
I never will.
I don't miss you at all.

The truth is,
I never found your adoration
anything but arduous.
Your kindess cliched.
Your compliments thoughtless.

And it has become obvious to me
that your love for me
was merely infatuation
with who you thought I could be.


Details | Free verse | |

Small Mistake

It must be painful to see
how I've grown up
Can you even look at me?

We both lie
Maybe in pieces
But don't you cry
Broken shards 
can always be fixed
Although they may leave scars

We both know
we should be alive
But that's so hard to do
when we have already died
Maybe they were right
when they said 
you shouldn't have a child
that I should have been dead

We give and take
We may bend
but we'll never break
because these scars will mend

Does it kill you?
To see me now
Does it hurt you?
To ask 'how'?

----We want to believe----
----that we know what love is----
----But how could we?----
----We never loved ourselves----


Details | Free verse | |

Another

People ask me why I wear black
And bitterly I shall snap back
Lack of color helps me conceal
How it is I truly feel
A colorless life, harsh situations
But no fear of implications
There is no color, can be no blame
I can hide in the dark, free from shame
Colors only distract attention
From the reality, the pure intention
I am broken, I am insane
I feel a never ending pain
Now I ask you, go away
So I can cry another day
Another day of hurt and sorrow
An endless day, awaits tomorrow


Details | Free verse | |

Agonizing Love

Sharp Pains in my chest
a fire started in my throat
the sting of torment inmy eyes
a weary feeling in my heart

those last few words
that horrid look
the bitter sound of your voice
is torture to my ears

a hammer to my heart
a bullet to the brain
can someone please stop him
from causing me this pain?

I promise to never do this again
if I knew that this would happen
it never would have started
I never would have loved you.

I can't hold up any longer
I'm falling out of love.
is this how heartbreak feels?
it hurts...
I'll never love again.


Details | Free verse | |

A Tear

The first tear falls...
It beholds a vision
Of two lovers dancing-
A soldier and his 
Perfect lady.
The following tears
Fall like raindrops
That grace her skin 
And invigorate her soul
With poetic words,
All slowly relieving her 
Of troubles that 
Weigh on her mind.
She writes these words
As the tears saturate 
The pages.
I'd love to 
Read her words or 
Catch her tears,
But I wish she would smile.


Dedicated to my best friend, 
  Amanda Straub
 ( 7/23 Happy Anniversary )


Details | Free verse | |

If Ever A Song

If ever a 
song were to be
written about
me, I would
want it to be in a 
minor key, where the
notes may not 
match, but,
somehow, they
go,
creating the 
harmonies that are 
my life.

If ever a 
song were to be
written about 
me,I would 
want it to be
smooth and
lyrical, but with a 
beat that 
pulses,
booms,
accelerates, and
slows,
weaving 
together all of the
strength, and the
beauty, and the
spirit, and the 
power that
I have, and that
I am.

If ever a 
song were to be 
written about
me, I would
want it to be a 
song about
joy, about 
sorrow, about
love, about the
tenacity it 
takes to be that 
song, and to 
make it a
good one.

If ever a 
song about
me were to be 
written, 
if ever a 
song about 
me were to be 
played, then
my 
voice
would be 
heard,
my 
story
would be
told, and 
those who
listened would
know that
I
have 
lived.


Details | Free verse | |

Mardi Gras

Mardi Gras

Ever since the flames licked 

my fair pink burning flesh,

nothing in my life has remained the same.



I had to go back in to 

save my little brother Chris. 

 Life without him would kill me, 

besides myself I would forever blame.

 

Even though it’s been ten years, 

my face still feels the pain.



Having to go through high school 

with a scarred face is just lame.



I’ve got the body of a goddess; 

I must admit I’m beautiful from the neck down, 

but the hideous burn scars 

on my face have remained.

 

Months after the accident 

weeks before school started,

a knock at my door came.



An anonymous donor sent a box

 full of beautifully hand decorated

Mardi Gras masks made for only the fairest lady, 

that’s the day I got my new name.

 

Each month a new box of masks 

would arrive and I would wear everyone.

I became known as the royal shapely, disfigured lady. 

Mardi Gras was my fame.

 

One night a mysterious white box appeared, 

inside rested the most unique and intricately 

adorned mask of all.  It was a pure white mask adorned 

with a delicate French ivory lace, fluffy pure white 

dove feathers and shiny white pearls outlined the mask.  

White is normally considered lame 

but this was breathtaking, nothing plain.  



Inside the box was also an

 invitation, asking me to attend 

the prom with "Masked Bandit" Lane.



 I couldn’t believe it! All along it was 

my handsome next door neighbor and

 Chris' best friend, who had been sending 

the ornate masks to me.  He was my hero now, 

my enthusiasm could hardly be tamed..  



Lane had always adored my brother Chris and seemed 

to like me too. I always knew he had 

a crush on me, but I never knew to what extent. 

I rushed over to his house where he was playing 

with my brother Chris a heated basketball game.



I hugged him and told him that 

I would love to go with him to the prom.



Just between you and me, 

Lane and I will always be the 

masked King and Queen of Mardi Gras 

and forever in love we will reign.





 

 


Details | Free verse | |

If You Don't Know, Now You Know

If you search and try to find a love like mines but you dont
You'll be missing my love. 
When you call and I don't answer the phone like I used to 
don't worry about it.
When I walk off this time and you feel as if you were about to lose me 
well its true; 
If you don't know, now you know.
No more worries, if you think I'm going to be sitting around stressing because
of what you do. No I'm not worried about a thing.
If I don't do the things I used to do and you lose sleep because of it don't worry, 
now you see how I used to feel.
If you don't know, now you know.
While you tried and sit around and play me ,
If you knew where home was instead of leaving me alone ,
I would've still been right here taking care of you, loving you, but your lost out
If you dont know, now you know.
My mind is clearer now this vaulable heart was yours to keep 
Since you was out messing around with these no good heffas
you no longer have it. 
I dont have time to watch you sit around playing with my love
so go walk your path and I will walk mines.
If you don't know, now you know
Now you think I'm messed up about your other chick
No, I'm not but I questioned myself 
Why didn't I handle you
Well, because now that you're gone I would rather be alone
As long as my mind is right, my mind is made up, and my heart is in the right 
place, I would be glad to never see your face again
Ladies, you all know they going to miss us
because they realize that she wasn't worth it over you.
You know there isn't no erasing or replacing me.
So that's why Im not worried.
So, if  you don't know, now you know.


Details | Free verse | |

Teens Mind

Inside the teens mind
There are things we keep inside
Thoughts that run through are brain
Words that we never find
A narrow that has no end
That leads to
Construction or disruption
Where we built words to say
Think about anything
Cause no one can hear
Our deepest thoughs within
Inside the teens mind
We can control
Everything


Details | Free verse | |

That Girl I Love

Many people think that love is fake,
I'd beg to differ,
I know it is real,
When you finally find the right one,
You may always be in pain,
But look when you love someone you accept the pain,
That's what I've done for you Jennifer,
I've taken the pain,
And I've given it,
But the wait for you is worth it all,
Forever and ever more


Details | Free verse | |

The Days

The days have come and gone,
Since then i have felt forlorn,
I could never have told you what i held true in my heart,
I was afraid that we would part,
For i wouldn't know what to do,
Because without you,
I am a lost soul,
I just wouldn't know where to go,
When we were together,
I could never spoil the moment, i felt that it was better,
If I had let us stay as we were rather than see what we could've been, 
I didn't want to jeopardize you just for you to have seen,
That i had loved you, that i always had and always will,
I just needed for you to know that i cared till
Till the end of infinity and the end of time,
I just knew that we were perfectly in chime,
For you are all that has ever mattered to me, 
You are my world and my everything, nothing else mattered to me, not even my 
TEE,
You always occupied my mind,
To the extent that i wouldn't have noticed if i had signed,
Away my life along with everything in it, i would give up everythng and anything for 
you,
I would give anything to be with you just once more i would give away my life and 
everything in it too,
I'd do it just for you, so if you didn't know before, you do now, 
I knew that i loved you the first time i met you, i don't even know how,
But all i know is that my love for you is true,
Because i love you for being you!


Details | Free verse | |

Love

I keep hearing that you exist. 
People say they see you-
They touch you.
They say you help them when depressed, sad and lonely.
They say you keep people together- forever.
Some even say you do not work all the time;
You have a tendency to fade away-
Only for a short time, however,
For you can return to set things back to norm.
I'm curious- love.
Do you really return?-
Do you really fade away?-
Do you really keep people together- forever?-
Do you really console the depressed, sad and lonely?-
For I am sad, lonely and depressed.
Will not you help me?
Why ignore me?-
Or forget me?
Why listen to what others have to say about me?
I tried to reach for you too-
You just could not see.
For sadness, depression and loneliness kept you blind;
Blind from watching my hands reach out to you...
You fell-
Long gone-
Never came back.
Do not worry-
I keep hearing that you exist.
Tis' true?- 
Do you really- 
Exist?


Details | Free verse | |

Like, Like, How Could She?

Like, this one time, in band camp 
I asked this girl out and she like, 
Said no, and I like 
Like totally liked her, and like 
I almost loved her and she said like, 
Like, like no, 
Like how could she? 
I was so hurt, like, seriously 
Not like, broke a nail hurt, like really, 
Really, 
Really, 
Really hurt, you know? 
Like it wasn't even in my head you know? 
Well, it was, but it was like, deeper than that 
It was right in my chest, like right by my heart 
Every time it beat, it like, hurt 
And it like, didn't stop 
Not for anything, 
Like not even when I went to sleep, 
It like, just hurt, and hurting 
And like, like never stopped 
It hurt like, so bad 
It was like the worst feeling I ever felt, 
Like in my entire life, 
How could she say no like that? 
Like really? 
I like, lost her 
Totally lost her 
But I like never had her to begin with, 
Still it hurt, because I like almost loved her 
And it felt like she was mine, but she wasn't 
And like, now she'll never be. 
This is like, sooo depression, 
How can I march in a time like this? 
I just totally feel deprived of happiness and meaning, 
I could die, I could totally die right now 
Like I'm not even kidding, I could stop living 
Right now, just die, 
I could go to that cabin and get on the roof 
Then like get onto that higher roof on the cabin next to it 
And then like, totally jump off and die 
Just die like a frog under a tire you know? 
"Not a lesbian" she says, well whatever 
I can't believe this, this is so sad 
You know, this is so bad, you know what I'm going to do? 
You know what I'm going to do? 
I'll like, tell you 
I'm going to go eat some cheese, 
Goodbye. 


Details | Free verse | |

Blue-Eyed Angel

Through the lies that shatter, the tears that gleam,
Your eyes show the stories, the shadows unclean,
You were mine to have, you were mine to dream,
You were my spotless lies, my everything.

Time wasn’t money, just as love wasn’t trust,
Time was short and love was lust.
Urges were many, to comply was a must,
Goodbye, blue eyed angel, grind this thin wall to dust.

Love was given and unreturned,
Shadows cleared, lies were slurred,
Truth was fought and visions blurred,
Not love, not lust, not the single heart cured.

Not but a memory, not but a name,
Held fast to a girl with her head bowed in shame,
So long gone but a voice can tame,
Goodbye blue-eyed angel, only I was to blame.


Details | Free verse | |

Writer's Block Is More Like Death

Drained of words. 
The flow has ceased and the imagination is bled dry of originality. 
I'm left flipping through my past 
Scratched in ink across these pages. 

Thoughts long forgotten seemingly infantile, 
Paling in comparison to anything that's recently infested my mind. 
I sit in a cold room, locked away from the world 
Curled in the corner with a pen 
Stabbing into my skin hoping to grasp some idea of pain 
To cause a flood as I have times before. 

Theories I drew up in my rebellious youth circulate in my blood 
Causing a twisted sense of self-pride feeding my bitterness. 
My flesh is drained of color, painted with the whites and dusted yellows 
Of headlights passing through the blinds hanging limp over the window. 

I burn, burn away into the previous day 
Where I wasn't dependent on these words that keep me from jumping out of my 
skin. 
Sucking on the scents lingering in the air from nightmares to gain some 
inspiration 
I find myself dangling on the brink of insanity and mental collapse, 
Surrendering myself to the fear of another failure. 
Giving up to the truth that I'm living with the assurance 
That only cold soil and a glossy maple-wood box wait for me at the end, 
If I could afford even that.


Details | Free verse | |

Heartache of a 15 Year Old

I am space. And I am time. I can see wind and I can be kind.
I can breathe you, yet you can't breathe me.
I am the oceans, but you're not the seas.
I am the rain. You are my pain.
I am the Sun. You were my fun.
I was the storm. I am outrage. So angry. So deep. Lock me in a cage.
I am the zoo. Being observed from all views.
My life was a shambles and it was your cue. A cue to enter. A cue to arrive
A cue to witness and to revive.
I am religion and I am here. Not one place. Not neither place but here and there.
Am I the air? Am I the voice?
I wanted you forever but you had your own choice.
To leave, to depart, to exit or restart
You left, you thief and you still have my heart...



Details | Free verse | |

Soft Brown Eyes

If I steal the one you love
And enjoyed every second I'm with her
And you're not
Would you call me a monster?
In some cases i don't know what to do
In most I can weasel in a safe way out
Soft brown eyes don't let me down
I may never get back up


Details | Free verse | |

A Smile

A smile can broadcast your feelings, letting everyone know you're feeling fine. 
Some people mistake tears as a sign of weakness, 
But I think tears are a sign of strength. 
A strength I do not possess. 
Letting people know how I truly feel? 
Something I can not do. 
The fear of judgement and ridicule hold me back from letting everyone know the 
real me. 
People only see a part of me. They only see the part I let them come close to. 
They don't see the hurt, and the pain, and all the tears that I deal with behind 
closed doors. 
They don't hear all the screaming, and the crying that I hear. 
They don't feel the hate, the hurt, and the back stabbing that feel. 
All they see is a smile. 
All they hear is a laugh. 
All they know is what I let be known. 
Just because I smile doesn't mean I don't feel pain.



Details | Free verse | |

Words Hurt Worse

She lays there alone
Looking at the sky
She thinks of that saying,the one about sticks and stones
And says softly to herself "Thats a lie."
That day she had been called a pig,a *****, and a mutt
She had also been told she was fat,worthless,and scary
She wonders if she really is a slut
Soon she became ever so wary
Then she slowly sits up and draws out her knife
She thinks about that little trophy wife
Who muttered the 6 words "She should take her own life"
Slowly that girl puts her knife to her chest
As the words "Kill yourself" run through her mind
She stabs the knife into her chest just like the rest
If only one person had been kind...
Now she falls back into a lay
Wondering how long it will take for someone to find her
A year? A month? A day?
Everything fades into a blur 
She takes her last breath
Then finally she reaches her death


Details | Free verse | |

Friendship

Why did we do it?
Why did we go?
Should we have come back.
Cause now i fell alone.
Missing you every day.
Wishing everything would change 
but knowing nothing is ever going to be the same.
I should be sorry for what I did but I'm happy I did it.
You are the only one I would've done it with.
Cause you are the best friend I've ever had.
What we did was a test of our friendship
and now that it's over and done with we can start over with 
an even better friendship.


Details | Free verse | |

Out-Of-Bounds

I like you but I know we are impossible
The thoughts of you are unreasonable
You'd never look at me that way
No matter what I think or say
You are what I call rare
Is it because you show that you care?
Is it cuz you show good friend qualities
Now let me think of the possibilities
Me and you might never be
Because a friend is all you see
Wishing that things werre different
If only you knew what I meant


Details | Free verse | |

Light Divine

Call me Freedom,
For that is my name,
Untamable, wild, 
Not bound by walls or bars

Call me Solitude,
For that is my name,
Quiet, serene,
Comfortable in myself and me

Call me Friend,
For that is my name,
Loyal, trusting,
A shoulder for you to cry on

Call me Scholar,
For that is my name,
Studious, hard working,
Trying to reach the stars

Call me Daughter,
For that is my name,
Respectful, responsible,
You don't have to tell me twice

Call me Philosopher,
For that is my name,
Free-thinking, nonconformist
I reside outside the box

Call me Damaged,
For that is my name,
Broken, beaten,
But I still walk on my own two feet

Call me Artist,
For that is my name,
Creative, unique,
A blank paper is all I need

Call me Child,
For that is my name,
Young, inexperienced,
The world a dangerous place

Call me Warrior,
For that is my name,
Strong, unrelenting,
Limits are no match for my will

Call me Anything,
Call me Everything,
I am Light Divine


Details | Free verse | |

Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, Mirror, 
why are you so cruel, 
Why do you reflect such a figure, 
So sad and insecure. 
Mirror, Mirror, 
what do you need? 
What can I do, 
to make you happy? 
Sweet girl in the mirror, 
who reaches towards me, 
reaches out to touch me, 
but our fingers never meet. 
You smile when I smile, 
But I can see right through, 
I know your pain pretty girl, 
because I feel it too. 
Girl in the mirror, 
what makes you so sad? 
what drives your anger? 
and makes you so mad? 
Sweet girl in the mirror, 
how well you know me, 
I'm sorry that you will never know, 
what its like to be free. 


Details | Free verse | |

Them

I walk with them
I experience life but they only dismiss it
I change my ways and they don’t notice 
I fall and they walk on by
I talk and they ignore
I cry and they turn there backs
I hope and they destroy
I laugh and they make me angry
I do well but they have to do better
I feel myself falling and they only notice themselves
I want to scream but they silence me
I want to prove myself but they won’t let me
I want to do rise above but they chain me down
I put on a pretty smile and no one is the wiser
I have them fooled and they don’t even know


Details | Free verse | |

Sinful Beauty Spare Me

Beauty bleeds through skin
Infecting all which festers 
So deep within
The skeletons cary such secrets
To disgrace and shame Gorgeous
Saying it no longer forgets

We both know what's going on
Spare us the pain
Please, just walk away
You're like a magnet and I'm the steel
It's surfaced and reared its sinful head
Would I partakein this temptation?

Beauty leaves me scrambling,
Reaching for anything firm
Safety net's burnt
My closet's filling and going quick
I shouldn't have let myself fall for you
It's time I just quit


Details | Free verse | |

maybe he is

appear in the sky,
to haunt like the night
burning stars peering down
to where your hair curls,
pretending to be a crown.
because you tell yourself,
you are a princess,
and you tell yourself,
he's here to save you.
and maybe he is
with white roses behind his back
his agenda burned in the ashes
maybe.


Details | Free verse | |

From Death's Embrace

life's efforts, in vain they shattered 
velvet cloaks of crimson tattered 
alone in darkness, they never mattered 
blades glisten, the sad eyes they flattered 

hand out-stretched, he stood alone 
fingers gleamed white of bone 
eerie whispers of prayers unknown 
no actions friends of God would condone 

leaning in with scythe in hand 
hollowed eyes of black depths command 
veins bled dry making stand 
against the embrace of Death's demand


Details | Free verse | |

All I Really Want

Just to hold you one more time
Or just to say your mine
Is all I really want
To be the one you run to
Or the one to say I love you to
Is all I really want
To be in your arms once again
Or just by your side and touch your skin
Is all I really want
But it kills me inside
Knowing your not mine
All I really want is to 
Say I love you 
And I miss you to


Details | Free verse | |

princess of suburbia.

cupcake.
dollface.
blue eyed beauty.
cookie cutter girl,
princess of suburbia.
she's sick,
because she likes it.
blood confetti on her notebooks,
the twinkle in her eye.
staining words on twisted minds.
her followers.
they want to taste the berries on her lips,
feeling the metallic taste in her mouth.
they love the broken things,
mangled shoelaces,
hearts torn apart.
they look up to her.
she used to play with barbie dolls.
turning them into baby prostitutes,
coke heads,
models who rose above.
she used to sing to herself in the basement,
or where ever there was running water.
math makes her brain itch.
wal-mart makes her claustraphobic.
so lets break out,
she thinks,
slipping valium into her teddy bears head.
no need to hide from the monsters of her mind.
theyve already gotten to her.


Details | Free verse | |

Inner thoughts

Each time I see your face,
millions of thoughts come to mind.
Can this be real? 

My heart starts racing, 
emotions ready to explode,
What is this that I feel?

Just spending time with you,
means everything in the world.
I love who you are.

When we're together,
nothing else matters, 
its you and me, we forget the world.




Details | Free verse | |

In Case You Were Wondering...

In case you were wondering... 
I'm not okay...But I say I am. 
You just don't know it. 
And you sure can't see it. 
Cause on the outside, I'm fine. 
But on the inside...I'm bleeding. 
I fake a smile, I fake a laugh. 
Just so you can't figure me out. 

In case you were wondering... 
I'm not okay...But I say I am. 
But what you don't know can't hurt you right? 
I'm in pain, I have breakdowns, I cry myself to sleep at night. 
But you don't know that. 
So you think I'm fine. 
See how this all works? 
Your not worried, your not hurt. 
But I am. 

In case you were wondering... 
I'm not okay...But I say I am. 
Sometimes I wish I could just tell you how I feel. 
Maybe then you would really understand. 
Maybe then you would be smart enogh to know that when I say "I'm fine...Really." 
You'll ask me over and over until I tell you the truth. 
But I can't tell you how I feel. 
So you think I'm okay. 
You think I'm happy. 
Well I got news for you. 
In case you were wondering... 
I'M NOT. 


Details | Free verse | |

Who are they Really?

The girl you see is not all she works out to be 
Got no troubles Dont care Never has a downed moment

The girl your used to seeing has what?
A nice house A Lot of friends but what does this mean 

The Girl you know is not what she seems
sensitive emotional stressed??

The girl that people thinks is like this 
Needs to change

Then people can follow her steps 
become what they need to be 

Themselves.


Details | Free verse | |

Her Crush

She turned to see the look in his eyes
Then bowed her head and turned to cry.
For she knew in her heart he would never be hers
Her feelings could not be put into words.
All she felt was the urge to die,
But there she stood and wondered why.
Why couldn't he feel the same way? 
Could she make it through another day?
She never felt a feeling so strong
But then her friends had proved her wrong.
They reminded her of all the guys
Who in the past had made her cry.
But she had so easily got over them,
Why couldn't she get over HIM?
Was it his smile,
Or his everlasting gaze,
That made her heart become ablaze?
AS the weeks slowly passed
Anther guy's heart she grasped.
Yet she did not feel the same way,
That phrase 'i love you' seemed so cliche.
So she never said it back,
And her love for him forever lacked.
So in this circle that never ends,
Another door opens
And passion begins.


Details | Free verse | |

Silent Suffering

if i had kept on
if i had lived on
if i had kept on
would you have stayed?
the part of you that i felt
inside this cold heart
is withering
dying
and i am silently suffering
from these wounds you left in me
the scars here and there
these cuts and bruises 
bleed and burn
and the antidote for my sorrow
is long gone


Details | Free verse | |

About Me Pt. 2

I’m a man of my word,
I always do my best to keep every promise,
and I never make a promise I know I can’t keep
I’ll give you the shirt off my back if you really do need it,
but I’m no humanitarian
I always offer others my help,
but I rarely accept the assistance of others,
because it makes me feel like I’m weak
I am weak,
yet, I’m stronger than I seem
I am a rock star on the inside,
but, physically and mentally, I’m a rock star who has no musical abilities
At times I have self-esteem,
but, I really never do
I’ll say I believe in myself and that I’m happy with what I can do,
but, truth be told,
there’s always that nagging doubt,
the lingering thought,
the dreaded fear of proving myself right,
and confirming the utter worthlessness that I usually find in myself
I overanalyze everything
I’m always thinking about something
I love to watch people
but I hate it when people stare
I am a Christian,
but at times I wonder if God even cares?
then call myself a fool for ever thinking that way,
as I finally see all of the things I take for granted that He’s blessed me with 
everyday
I always wait too late to say what I’m feeling,
or can never seem to find the courage to say it when I want to
With time, I’ve grown too scared to reach for the stars,
to walk out on limbs,
put myself on the line
but, I don’t want to be left behind,
I don’t want to watch those around me grow and become happier,
while I am stuck in misery
I don’t know who I am


Details | Free verse | |

Confused

Its like a new start
But at the same time, Im at the finish line
Its like I've gained something
But at the same time, I've lossed
I feel empty
But yet im full
Im sad inside
And at the same time Im happy
I gave
So that i could get
What i gaveup wasnt alot but it has a hold on me
What i got makes what I had seem..seem...unworthy
Its like I've accomplished something
But it wasnt enough
I left the old life
I've moved on
So why am I crying
Why doesnt this feel right
I dont wanna go back
but I dont wanna stay
I've gained so much
But at the same time I've lost a huge amout
I'm confused and im lost
Im cold yet Im hot
Im hungry yet im full
I dont know if i should make a left or a right
I dont know if im wrong or right
It's a new start
But im standing at he finish line...


Details | Free verse | |

Heaven Remade

Angels falling
From man's heaven onto man's land
This world is hell, blooming
And blood and fire, and roses
And wounds and pain, and love
And me, fighting again

Feathers swirling
Cut off from darkened wings, bleeding
Sliced and torn in an endless dive
Tears of life, crimson
Sometimes flying, mostly failing
From man's heaven onto man's land
Heaven in hell and hell in hell

Angels bleeding
The bliss of pain, cut me again
Wings I do not want
Bound to a fake sky
Chained to a cruel Earth
Hell everywhere, blooming
Reality, crash into it
And blood and fire, and roses
And wounds and pain, and both
And you, smiling maybe


Details | Free verse | |

Nothing More To Do With You

This ends right now.
Confided in me then threw it all away
There can be no love left within me
Angerfeardisappointmentdespair
But you've lost it all now - I've given up on you.

He's got you doing I don't know what
And the rumours are rumours but the rumours are true

And if I saw him I swear
I'd smash his face in.
Could do with another outlet after all
These stabbing shrieks inside my chest
Scraping at my flesh and bone
Won't let them penetrate me

See her; who is she?
Wonder if you know her
She's everything you pretended to be
Emotionless beneath that metal
Trusting no-one still being betrayed

Who are they in the frame with her?
These strangers who casually call themselves friends
You're so stupid
They couldn't care less
Watch you stagger and fuel the habits they helped you start

Mindless idiot.
She's going to die and she's taking you with her

Don'tpiercethatdon'tsmokethatdon'ttakethat
What more can I do when you block me out?
Sleep around black out come to me for comfort
Crazy little girl, could slash you and let all the bad rush out
But then of course we'd have nothing left
And it grieves me that it's come to this
Can't stand it anymore; you're on your own you've got a choice you'll make the 
wrong decision I can't be there to guide you

Confided in you then threw it all away
Can't keep these lame promises and I know
I said I'd always be there
But I was there for you and I'm talking to myself 'cause you're dead on the inside
And it's spreading fast.

Not one redeeming feature
Could rip you apart wouldn't harm you for the world
Save you from it all leave you there for them to get you
And they won't find my girl, person worth protecting
Her and you'll be there instead already gone already dead
You all shall scream
Won't turn my head

And I'll remember you today
For what you used to be
Days that seem too far away

You're ugly now in every way.


Details | Free verse | |

The Evil, The Demon Locked Away Inside My Heart

What do you do with someone who has a black heart?
One so black, that no light can shine through it
What would you do to try to get away?
A potential killer, locked away on the inside
Now seems to be emerging and nothing can stop it
How do you plan on keeping, the devil inside?
You wanted nothing nice of me
Instead, you preferred…that I show you
The evil trapped in my heart…

Why does everyone want to…
See how far they can go with me? I wanna know
So can you please tell me?
Why doesn't anyone appreciate…
The fact that I try to remain sane? I wanna know
So, tell me…

I don’t fight much anymore like I used to
Just because the sight of blood excites me
I would fight to the death, if I could…
I've nearly killed a few of my friends when in rage
And a few times, little children as well
But I'm afraid of what I can do
That is why, I became an outcast…
Just to prevent such a thing…from happening again
Now why did you bring it out again?

Why does everyone want to…
See the evil, the demon in my heart? I wanna know
So, you better tell me
Why do you act like the rest of them?
Did you want to see me insane? I wanna know
Do you wanna die?

Everyone…doesn't deserve
To be treated with kindness…nor respect
For that matter, so why try?

Why does everyone want to…
Be caught up in the darkness? I wanna know
And you better tell me
I won't waste my time with you all
To me it seems that you want to go to hell. I wanna know
Do you plan on joining me?


Details | Free verse | |

Just Another Crush

YOU DONT MEAN A THING TO ME.

Oh how i wish those words were true.
But infact its just a lie
And i can't get over you.

Believe me, i have tried.
But theres something i cant ignore.
Theres just this quality you have
That makes me want you even more.

Its the way you dont even have to try.
Youre just yourself and nothing less.
All the guys want to be your best friend,
All the girls you seem to impress.

Myself included, without a doubt.
But, i was not the one you admired.
Some girl came along better than me,
And she was the one you desired.

Oh well, i shrugged it off.
I decided you werent all that unique.
No point in heart break. 
Afterall,
There'll be another 'you' next week.
.
.
.
.(sike)


Details | Free verse | |

The Gingerbread Man

We lay side by side in the summer grass,
I reached for the gingerbread man kit
And lifted out a slightly crumbled biscuit,

Taking the tube, I iced a shaky smile onto its face,
Added big, hopeful chocolate drop eyes
And wrote 'I love you' down its front,

Then I handed it to her and said,
"This is me, take care of her,"
And she grinned and bit off its head.


Details | Free verse | |

The Voices in my head

Have you thought of suicide?
Have you ever thought of murder?
Crazy as it may sound,
I've thought of both.
Is it okay for me to tell you I've felt this way?
I dont know why,
And sometimes I try to block out the thoughts.
But they keep coming back.
Telling me that they want more.
They want me to go through.
Do the things I feel that I should do.
Take a gun to my head.
Pull a knife on my husband in bed.
I know too much, I know that.
My husband cheats, and that is a fact.
I say things I shouldnt say when others arent around.
I curse out loud when my daughters are near.
I say things that the two year olds just shouldnt hear.
I cant help but think, what it would be like. 
What if I wasnt around, to feel these things inside.
Who am I punishing, them or me?
What do these things really mean?
Am I crazy, am I insane?
Are there really people running around in my head?
I hear what they say,
Telling me to stop being a baby,
To just die alone in my bed. 
I dont want to think these things.
I dont want to hear what they want to say.
Please make them all go away.
Do you understand what I write?
Of course you dont.
You dont know what its like.


Details | Free verse | |

About Me Pt. 1

What can I say about me that you can’t learn within a day?
I was born to be a hopeless romantic,
except I never have any romance in my life
I am a gentleman,
I take my chivalry seriously
I want someone to hold and never let go of,
I want someone who will be there
I want someone who will tell me everything will be okay
I want someone to hold my hand
I find myself surrounded by beautiful girls,
but they always seem to find happiness in somebody else
I’m great at reading the negative signs
I’m terrible at reading the positive ones
I always misinterpret friendship for attraction
or vice versa out of fear of rejection,
out of fear of being mistaken, yet again
I am always, just a friend
I am blessed with the best friends in the world
but, I fear, I might turn my back on them to some extent over a girl
I’m afraid my friends will disappear
finally realizing I’m not worth keeping
finally seeing what I see in myself
but, I hope and pray that they never do
Far too often I wonder
I wonder if I died, if anybody would really care?
I wonder if anybody would really miss me like they say they would were I not 
there?
I’m smarter than I’ll admit,
but I still fear I’m not smart enough
I’m afraid I’ll never reach my goals
I’m afraid I’ll never graduate from college,
become a doctor,
meet that one special girl,
and start a family of my own
I’m afraid to let myself down,
but I’m even more afraid of letting down others
I am a people pleaser,
but I’m not sure if I ever really please many people 
I like knowing what’s around the bend,
but I don’t enjoy monotony 
or spoiled endings
I enjoy having fun,
but I enjoy being serious
I’m easily amused
but I hate stupid things
I write best when I’m depressed,
but I hate feeling that way
Yet I love writing so much,
I just can’t win


Details | Free verse | |

When It Rains

when it rains 
the thunder makes me think of
your heart beating in my ear
the lightning makes me think of 
the sparkle of your eyes when you saw me
but the rain makes me think of
how much I cried when you said it was over. . .


Details | Free verse | |

Everything

Finally here, 
speak to me.
I want to feel you, 
I need to hear you.
You are the light, 
That's leading me,
To the place where I find peace again.
You are the strength that keeps me walking.
The very hope that keeps me trusting.
The light in my soul.
You are my only purpose.
You're everything.
And yet... 
How can i stand here with you, 
And not be with you.
You calm the storms.
And you give me rest. 
You hold me in your hands, 
So I know you won't let me fall.
When you take my breath away,
You take my heart too.
Take me in now
Take me deeper in our love.
You're all i want. 
You're all i need. 
You're everything 
Everything I love.
Everything that keeps me standing.
You are my strenght,
Yet I am your weakness.
You're everything I want to need and love.


Details | Free verse | |

Generic Minds

generic minds listen to generic music
have generic thoughts that are unknowingly abusive
watch generic things talk about generic things
gee this generic *****is spreading like a disease
better get your flu shot 
thats what they said to me
a suicidal vaccine 
a subliminal killing spree
its contagious and the outrageous
thing about it is that the people are blind in an eye
that they didn't even know they had
it's sickening to watch these clueless civilians 
inside the looking glass
with nightmares of being free
without a key to their mind
for it is trapped in the frequency
in the illusion of time
bathed in our universe
killing all that refuse to see
those that admit to hypocracy
or see the message in hip hop
how cant you see
the message in the lyrics that
bring adolescents to their knees
from bullet wounds conflicting their flesh
contradicting that they're the best
but the songs keep telling them that they dont need no rest
that they dont wanna go home
that they should ride alone
with the gat as their only companion
and so the only path they choose is the one that they're told
until they grow old and hope turns to a window pane
inside a window pane, until all they feel is pain
they realize that the music itself is ashamed
so whats to look up to
when you cant even speak when you cant even walk because you look so bleak
your eyes are sunken from the tv you're infested with the dee zees
now its too late to turn around and live for your conscious
so when youre screaming oh please
close your eyes and bring your mind to life
open your eyes for the first time
and never wonder why
since the answer this entire time
has been inside
and you better find it before you die
you dont want your soul to be in a pool with all the others
a buncha brothers missing their mothers
but only seeing strangers
only feeling the haters
wishing they would have used their minds when they had them
and now its too late,
now it's time for another new born fate to grab them


Details | Free verse | |

Bladder Problems in Class

Numbers on 
White board…names written hori-
zontally

Students ask
To go pee…right when class starts – 
THAT’S just wrong…

Bathroom line
Of students who have bladder
Problems – WOW!

People are
Not using lunchtime to do 
Their business 

No one knows
When to do their duties – SER-
IOUSLY?


Details | Free verse | |

Birds of a Feather

It's human nature to emulate surroundings
 And it's hard to separate yourself
From those around you
 Emotions are contagious
And like minds act alike
 
Stand in a group of happy people, 
 And you'll find yourself smiling.
Stand in a group of excited people, 
 And find yourself inspired.
Stand in a group of kind people, 
 And you'll become more empathetic.
Stand in a group of hungry people, 
 And you'll find something to eat.
Stand in a group of depressed people, 
 And find yourself in sorrow.
Stand in a group of angry people, 
 And feel your adrenaline rise.
 
Most likely you'll remain in the group
 That reflects you the most
So regardless of what you think
 If others act in one particular way
Then guess what, you have become 'them'
 
So if you attract manipulators, 
 Maybe it’s because you lie a lot.
So if you attract unfaithful people, 
 Maybe it’s because you're a quitter.
So if you attract abusers, 
 Maybe it’s because you enjoy pain.
So if you attract indecisive people, 
 Maybe it’s because you're a follower.
So if you attract those that steal, 
 Maybe it’s because you turn the other way.
So if you attract those of low standards, 
 Maybe it’s because you act out of desperation.
Most likely you'll remain in the group
 
That reflects you the most
 So regardless of what you think
If others act in one particular way
 Then guess what, you have become 'them'


Details | Free verse | |

If I Love You

"If she loves you," they tell you,
"This will be a problem."
I am una niña, a little girl-
And you are too old for me,
Too young to know
What you're doing,
Too careless to be cautious,
Too Hispanic to be safe
In a place so diverse that
Teenage boys
Are always classified by race-
You are too beautiful 
To be resistible.
But I promise not to love you.
I promise not to need you.
I won't kiss you where 
Anyone can see, and I
Won't cry when you leave me-
Yes, I know you will,
I'm not so young as idiocy-
I can be your secret,
As long as you are mine...
And if I write you love poems...
I'll write them in the dark.
I'll recite them to the shadows,
And no one has to know.
You never have to know
I ever lied.


Details | Free verse | |

Volleyball

Set, spike, serve,
Volleyball is full of nerves,
Shoot it over the net,
Wait but not yet,
My turn to serve, 
My stomach is full of nerves,
Watching and waiting for everyone to see
I made it over and won it for my team.


Details | Free verse | |

My Boredom Disease

Like sick allergies, 
Boredom can be passed around
I call it: THE BOREDOM DISEASE

Like a horrid storm,
Boredom can catch you off guard
Hold on for DEAR LIFE!

Like the whooping cough,
Boredom can be serious
If I were you, I’d
Get a vaccination ! 


Details | Free verse | |

Class or Claaassee

Class or Claaassee !

Night  owl with an open circumstance fears
from blue neglect with the rages of unfortunate
idealisms---“why don’t you”---a nag  nag  nag
sequence,  fosters an arm’s length gaze glance
I peer through picket fence fingers, while tongue
depressing hop  to  it  euphemisms to gag
your elementary gesture fantasies with lurking
adult  gonatitudes, (envy) in full glee—“I don’t
care---but then what if”---and
would even believe me if I tried to tell
you the truth, you don’t want to touch in mind.
I fail to the order of kindergartenal suicide
and prose my character to mold your moods in
one tenth hope of a swelled down deep particle
secret desire. Take it for what it is and not think
to misabandon,  stop  look  and feelisten.
Your neighbor is only good as you. Plain 
simple downdeep and bittersweet bliss bias
but for—lorn fortunate to at least gain a
Goldilocks glimpse into your uncouth
vascular unconscious. Given a mathetical
½ chance I may le-learn a think or 2
and----------------------hey,  gimme me a hecka break
as he razed her eyebrows.


Details | Free verse | |

Love, Death, and Rebirth

The signs started in December
When she started waking up in tears each night
She was a normal girl with dark brown hair and darker brown eyes
She had plenty of friends and a loving family with just one thing missing
Her father. 

Days passed by and turned into weeks but only felt like a few seconds
Her life just whizzed by faster and faster until it was just a whirr in front of her eyes
Darkness filtered into her heart and mind until she didn't know if she could go on
But she had to. She couldn't let her mother and her sister drown in this same pain
She wouldn't let them.

She pushed all the darkness into the depths of her own heart
In hopes to save the hearts of the two people she had left
Because what else was there to live for now?
The rest of her world had crashed and her mother and sister was all that was left 
She wouldn't let them drown in pain too. 

She watched as they started to heal in her loving arms
Their hearts started to lighten up once more
But hers was just as dark as it was before 
And growing darker day by day 
But she wouldn't let that stop her. 

Suddenly a year had passed... and then two 
It only seemed like seconds to her but everyone else started moving on
Her mother and sister no longer needed her nurturing care
But she needed someone to hold on to
Anyone...

With nothing left for her to take control of, the dark pushed past her boundries 
It found a way into her soul
Until all she could see was dark and no light 
But her mother and sister were healed now
They didn't understand

The tears came back and engulfed her soul
Bit by bit until she wasn't sure why she was still alive
The grief took over like knives 
Piercing her skin over and over and over
It hurt so much.

She started to wonder what it'd look like to be dead
She could see him again if she was
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to endure this pain?
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to live knowing she'd never see him again?
It would.

So she started to hate herself
All that negative energy was starting to take toll
Everyone around her was breathing while she suffocated more and more by the second
She wished she'd just choke already instead of living in constant pain
If no one would put her out of her misery, she'd have to do it herself

She couldn't see any light anymore
So she grabbed the pill bottle off the shelf and just hoped it wouldn't take long to die
Deep down she still had a spark of light, but she just couldn't find it 
And now it was too late in her mind to change, to turn back and try to look deeper
She was done living.

That's when people started to notice that everything wasn't as peaceful as it seemed
They started to see how deeply depressed she had become
They wanted to help her see the light again before it was too late 
So they sent her away to see doctors and to take pills to make everything better
It was a start.

She didn't see a change at first but suddenly she could think clearly
Maybe what they were doing was actually going to help her see the light again
Yes, she still wanted to die, but maybe that wasn't the only option anymore
They cared,  and behind all their own problems they were trying to understand
They really were trying

Six months longer she would be treated and cared for
Until suddenly she was sent home from her treatment and care with a smile on her face
She had a new perspective
Someone had helped her ignite that spark in her heart until it was a glowing ember
She had been reborn

Sometimes you have to be able to experience the worst of it
To come back shining brighter than before
And if she had died that cold day in October, she wouldn't of ever seen the best of it
Or known that it would get better
and it did!

And she now sits at her laptop, with a smile on her face and warmth in her heart
It's never been an easy road and it won't ever be
But at least she knows she's lived through the worst
And it can only get better from here

So whenever she feels lonely or gets back into that dark spot again
She can look back on what she's learned and can read this poem
And remember that she survived the darkest depths of depression
And she will continue to survive it as long as she lives
Because she is stronger now than she ever was before ?


Details | Free verse | |

Midnight Lullaby

I wrapped all my tears, to see you smile.
you are the best, always by my side.
I tell you my feelings will get you crying,
you must think I’m out of my mind.

You don’t know, what I know,
all the angels let me go.

We were born to teethe and die,
you will grow to be so fine.
Fall in love, feel your softer side,
Remember me when life is kind.

When you go, let me know,
don’t walk away like the world and go.

Life is rough and the world unkind,
fight them down and you will be fine.
The truth of live is a brutal sight,
make no mistakes, you can learn from mine.

You have a strong heart, you are unique
I treasure times when you smile at me.

Live the life, I could not find,
be there for me, when I say goodbye.


Details | Free verse | |

If Old Men Fought

An old man looking out his door,
gaze fixed on a distant shore,
reminiscing to a time, not of happiness,
or, the prospect of a bright future,
to when he was sick to his very core,
to when as a youth, he went to war

A time before infallibility had meaning,
patriotism and bravado the craze,
the future was still unknown,
vigor for life at its all time high,
a time for romance, partying, buying,
no thought of pain, deformity, dying

Too young to understand or question,
ship to foreign shore, medals abound,
will impress the girls next time in town,
sacrifice not temporary,
forever more,
a legacy etched into a wall, few will remember,
flesh shredded, burned, torn,
families mourn

A time, when he willingly went to war,
will happen no more,
all lost in youth, now unrelenting,
no blind obedience,
minimal risk,
long life, his number one ambition

As he turns back from the door,
he thinks of the youth,
here now, soon no more,
lessons never learned,
the call to war,
to common the roar,
complacency the mood,
another generation removed

The old man agonizes
over what was originally not known,
war is preventable,
life too precious to waste,
the solution simple,
his vision, maybe too late

Send old men to the front to fight,
arthritis, heart disease, poor eyesight,
let the youth enjoy their life,
his near over, its only right

Send old men, to the front, to fight
ask them to give up their life,
patriotism and bravado, still alive,
will and desire would not last the night,
old men do not rush to death in their twilight,
failure inevitable, the old man smiles,
knows he's right

Wars not possible,
if old men, are sent to fight


Details | Free verse | |

Ridiculous Me

Watch this scene with both eyes and try not to blink C: --> 

I stood there... silently
Like a predator near prey 
I sneak behind YOU

You weren't even aware of it!! Ha-ha! 

I made YOU jump hIgH
Like a startled hare
I chuckle and smile

You know that mischievous smile of mine? 

Your reaction was
PRICELESS - you were so upset
But YOU forgave me

Well...I'm flattered. . . 

We laugh'd together (just like the good times)
In a chorus - our volume
Picked up extreme sound

Believe me - I could hear our laughter from a mile away!

But I'm glad I did
My best to make you giggle

Ridiculous me... 
Wouldn't you agree?


Details | Free verse | |

A Prayer For Strength To Be Yourself

It's hard doing something different.
It's difficult staying yourself.
In a world so accustomed to conformity,
It feels nearly impossible to be unique
As the one He created you to be.
How do we find the strength?
How do we find the courage?
How do we find the bravery?
Where do we defeat fear?
Well, He's hanging on The Cross
Giving life to you and me.
Thank You Jesus!
Let us not forget
With Christ,
Nothing is impossible,
For with God,
All things are possible!
Thank You Father!
Thank You!
We give our lives to You!
We are Yours!
Praise You forever
And forevermore!
In Jesus' Name,
We pray,
Amen!


Details | Free verse | |

The Humans and I

Ones who wage,
Ones who rage,
Ones who take,
Ones who pay,
Ones who craze,
Ones who rave,
Ones who crave…

Ones who fear,
Ones who breathe,
Ones who give,
Ones who need,
Ones who will,
Ones who weave…

Ones who plead,
Ones who beg,
Ones who beseech,
Ones who entreat,
Ones who appeal,
Ones who volunteer,
Ones who disappear…

The ones who follow,
The ones that don’t know about tomorrow,
The ones who don’t deserve the morrow…

The ones who sleep,
The ones who cry,
The ones who live,
The ones who die…

The ones who proclaim,
Those who say they create,
The ones who ache,
The ones who don’t wait,
The ones who hesitate,
The ones who don’t concentrate,
The ones who fornicate,
The ones who procrastinate…

Those who fall in temptation,
Those who get in frustration,
Those who sometimes feel desperation,
Those who keep going without caution,
Those in motion,
Those in tension,
Those losing notion,
Those being poisoned,
Those getting in distortion,
Those following the broken diction,
Those dying like the billions,
Those without unction,
Those washed in the oceans…

I might seem cold,
But it is you who is bold.
I might not express,
But it is you who doesn’t let me progress.
I might not seem like I seek,
But it is you who doesn’t know me…
I might seem like I need,
But it is you who might always be begging on your knees.
I might seem dull,
But it is the one that is fool.
I might not be alight,
But it is you who isn’t truly alive…

I will remain neutral,
I will remain silver,
I will remain gray,
I feel darkness,
I feel light,
I will remain hallowed…,
After all, it is you who deserves no life…

I am a metal hawk,
I am a mountain goat,
I am a silver bird,
I am a gray wolf,
I am a white tiger,
I am a mystic rose…,
I am I…

I’m alive,
And I survive,
You are here,
However, it is you who deserves no life…

Being human does not imply that you have humanity…


Details | Free verse | |

For An Abused Child

If I Could Have Gotten Your Embryo
Before You Were Born
I Would Have Sheltered You Safely
and Protected Your Form ...

I'd Have Put You In My Womb
& Flowed You Knowledge Like In A Tubric
& Patted My Expanding Belly
As I Played You Music

And As You Got Ready
To Arrive From The Birth Canal
You Would've Known My Breasts
Would Be Ringing Like Welcome Bells! ...

Eager To Suckle You
Breast Feed My Own Flesh & Nourish
So You Could Grow Strong
... In Love's Encourage

I Would've Held You In Wonder
& So Close Tenderly
Amazed At This Little Bundle,
Breathing, Piece of Me ...

And When You Turned One
Or As You Sucked Your Thumb
Or Eating Baby Food Jars of Plums
... I'd Have Given You Trumpets & Drums

... And Building Alphabet Blocks
& Superman Capes
& Stuffed Teddy Bears
& Oatmeal Cookies & Grapes

I'd Have Read You Stories
From Capt. Adventure Books
You'd Have Known You Were Loved
By My Proud Mama Looks

I'd Have Spent Time With You
Showing You How To Tie Your Shoe
Rocked You If You Caught The Flu
or Any Sniffles You Went Through ...

I Would Have Played With You
& Prayed With You
From Crawling To Walking
Paved The Way For You

Yeah, I Would Have Fussed At You
& When Needed Even Spanked You Too
& I'd Meant: This Hurts Me More Than You
'Cause You're The Little Symbiot, Mama Grew

So, You Would Have Known
You Were Loved & Treasured
You Would Have Known
Your Worth Couldn't Be Measured

Nor Compared To Anyone Else
At Any Point In Time
'Cause You Are The Best
Because You Were "Mine"

* * * * * * *

But I Never Knew You
But Believe Me If I Had ...
I'd A Made Sure You Had 
A Loving Mom & Dad

And You Would've Never Been Abused
Or Treated Bad ...
But From Now On Find Your Joy
To Replace What's Sad


            Written & Copyrighted ©:  9/12/2013 
             by:  MoonBee Canady


Details | Free verse | |

Mother and son

I cherish you,
If you cherish me.

You brought me to life,
We began to meet through time,
Even though,
Sometimes you don't comprehend me,
Sometimes you don't understand me,
That sometimes time isn't enough,
That sometimes instincts get uncontrolled...,
But still,
You were designated for my life,
And you profile my living...
We share lives...

Although,
Time brings maturity,
And time doesn't last forever,
As well as we don't last forever...

There is no such thing,
As total perfection,
Even though,
Thank you...


Details | Free verse | |

Murderapolis Streets, Claim Two More Young Heartbeats

Native, Liteskin, sun kissed
smiles
sit, talk, get to know me 
a while
for I am not my skin and 
even though the tan pigment
runs deep
I am my heart, thoughts
and actions,reflection of
company
I keep
A car accident took
my Homies brother this morning
and as we sit and talk to him
now, through faded room mourning
Young man, stole pop’s keys
from sleeping pockets
joy riding with friends
headlights beaming, MN
summer star sky gleaming
Dad's unaware, boy & friends left
 till woke, by early morn’ meeting
God opened the skies and took
two good ones away
I felt it rained, clouds crying briefly
for them today
70 miles an hour, Murderapolis streets
took two good homies heartbeats
jus’ a mile away, a close
friend heard the tires screech
Driver yells to him, “get a knife & cut me out!”
Neighbor, like doe eyes in headlights
filled with doubt
ends up dying after all
at the hospital
down 29th Ave and McKinley St.
Two of the Five Souls involved
God, now, does keep
I recall seeing the drivers smile
less than one week ago
why Mista Watkins & White Jr.
was it yo’ time to go
your loved ones may never know
We don’t always understand
the Lords plan
but He surely knows
heartache and sorrow
is how July fourteenth does go
two significant young Southside sons 
at 3:30 am, drove into a utility pole
crushed glass ridden streets
two homies, with us no mo’
I pray Jesus be with them
and theirs
as they grieve, and friends
surround them with the love
they need
car accidents & tragedies
like these
close to home to you
tend to place things in perspective
defrost a persons mind
set it into view
cuz’ its not about the color, of
your skin, or where you came from
it’s the way you impact the world
in the end, who you’ve grown to
become
the lives lost, were good peoples
Stood for good values like Church steeples
vibrant athletic youths of the future
barely 14 & 17, gone too soon
I hear the sad, cry, lonely night of our
Loon
Murderapolis streets, claim
two more young heartbeats
you will forever be remembered
and loved, keep an eye on us
from above, we know you’re
in a better place, were all running
an impossible to win race
for we all have a time card to punch
under the Lords undying grace
your Influence and charm, young men
is locked within us
Safe
and we shall all party again
in the Kingdom of Heaven
our final resting Place

7/15/2010: R.I.P.- Patrick Watkins (17) & Duane White Jr. (14)- South Side, Minneapolis, MN
you are forever loved and missed, but not forgotten, watch us from Heaven, Amen


Details | Free verse | |

Thinking Of You

I remember happiness,
No more,
No less,
Only true love.

I imagined,
You beside me...

I remember your eyes,
I remember your lips,
I feel your love,
I know your life...


Details | Free verse | |

Bravery

It's not a lesson to be taught
Or a skill to be acquired
It's the nudge to move forward
Open when the time is right
It's the spirit inside
God leading on the way
On the journey to discover
He is all you need
It's the courage to let go
Say yes instead of no
Reveal what you've been holding back
As Jesus takes the wheel
It's the realization that it doesn't matter
What others think of you
God leads you where you're meant to be
Just allow you to be you
It's the standing up to fear
Proclaiming "fear's not gonna win!"
The battle has been fought too long
Time to let the stalemate end
It's the inspiration you've been holding
For others and for yourself
The light we've been dimming
Rather than shining on His behalf
It's the spontaneity in the decision
To follow His call all the way
Discovering peace in being you
Wide open as the perfect creation you are
The world out there is brutal
But there's a Holy Man holding out His Hand
His bravery now is all we have
But His bravery of love is all we need
May God bless you!


Details | Free verse | |

Teacher

Energy and passion,
excitement breeds attraction;
a brilliant work, a masterpiece
explored in true love fashion.

Traversing plots with disregard
for clear-cut truths,
it must be hard
to take.

Our cartoon minds
can’t comprehend
the words she spins,
the twist; the end.

So calmly,
I walk out the door
and know my thoughts mean
nothing more,
than love.


Details | Free verse | |

My Future Generation

I can act insane
But DO NOT 
Make me feel worthless

I belong in God’s family
He will bless my future generation

Don’t punish me for
Being myself –
Don’t envy my glee 

I can act like an
Adult, but I’d 
Prefer to have joy…

Not stress…
That piles upon us in our 
Everyday lives

Being childlike is

A rare beauty – 

No one prizes it…

No one came across it…

In this lifetime…

I can laugh all day
I can make you smile
If you’d accept my 
Childlike dreams of mine
Don’t treat me like a sick swine

Renew my young heart
Give me the ability 
To kill the old man…

I have my place in God’s family
He’ll be adored and glorified 
We’ll exchange prayers and hugs  
By my future generation

I beg of you – 
Don’t kill my childlike mentality
I’ll behave myself…
I’m positively sure that I’ll make you happy

I’ll still have pieces of a child in me

And pass it on to my future generation…


Details | Free verse | |

Daybreak

I wake on the sand
Right near the beach
You have yet to awake
Far out of reach
And Daybreak has arrived
A beauty unlike any other
Comparable only to us, girl
And how we love each other

So I gaze up alone
Marveling up at the sky
The warmth of the sun
Drying my eyes
I'm reflecting on us
Oh how each other we trust
I'm just so happy we're together
And I think to myself,
Just as this sun, we'll last forever

Then returning to be with you
I lay again now
Place my hand gently
On your warm tender shoulder
While I think of our lives today, love
And how they'll be when we're older...
I know there'd be no other way
So "I Love You" I make sure I say
To you, each and everyday


Details | Free verse | |

The Men Sport of Persevering

The feeling of getting rocked for the first time is 
like losing your virginity. How I rise from the producers
decides if I like going down or hate getting up.

Yeah, they saw it. Eyes on me. The ubiquitous 
air is still hear. My ascetic body
still functions on this field of men.

Fighting for friends, flying around full speed.
Go! Go! Go! Epitomizes our support.
The brain yells stop, but the heart whispers fight.

Hard work minus teamwork equals intact pants.
Hard work plus teamwork squared equals a smile.
Perspiration in the eye, never felt better.

The weakest link of our chain better power up
because he who pays the piper will call this tune.
Turns out, I couldn’t cry over spilt milk, if it didn’t spill.

As celebratory we were, we endeavor to looked opportunity
in the eye and purloin her work clothes, 
before she is out of sight and out of mind


Details | Free verse | |

Friends

They help us,
When we are down.
They make us stand up,
And go on...

They make us smile,
They bring us hope,
They give us comprehension,
Worth to trust...

They give us a reason,
They make us forget our darkness,
They enlighten us in harsh moments...

They are designated for our lives,
They profile our living,
They bring us to life...


Details | Free verse | |

Teenagers

The youth of today becomes
The future of tommorrow.
All hope is placed upon the
Shoulders of this generation.
To carry on the world, make it a
Better place, achieve greatness.
The expectation is given, no 
Input is required from those whom it
Is given to. We are given a final 
Destination, the path being left to
Wherever we decide to go. Little 
Does this generation know we are
Prey for the hawks. Every move we 
Make sets off an alarm, bound to 
Earn a scolding from society. They 
Are quick to notify us of our
Underperformance, our failure, and
Our lacking ability to complete their
Desired task. We are now labeled the
Poisons of society. All in an attempt 
To please, but that isn't seen.


Details | Free verse | |

My 3AM Wake Up Call

You’re a 3AM
Wake up call
With another sob story
About the latest boy 
Who pumped you
Then dumped you
And left you 
In a sweaty lonely pile
Upon another 
Empty bed

And you cry 
Baby girl tears 
All over my phone
And you wonder why handsome
Boys
With shining white  teeth
With full heads of curly black hair
With six-pack stomachs
And  tight muscular
Rear ends 
Can not be more like 
Mature 
Older 
Men

“Just like you,” 
Baby girl says
“Just like you.”

And you cry 
Baby girl tears 
All over my phone
And you wonder why reckless
Boys
Who party all night
Who down countless vodka shots
Who shout “muthafukka,” “dude,” "beotch,"
And other raucous
Victory chants
Can not be more like
Mature 
Older 
Men

“Just like you,” 
Baby girl says
“Just like you.”

You want me to empathize
You want me to criticize
The nasty boys 
Who took you for another 
Cruel and pointless ride

You want me to father you 
In a way he never did

But I’m sorry
Baby girl
I’m sorry

I can’t

Because I admire and envy those 
Boys
In the prime of their life
Not yet defeated
Not yet haunted
Not yet beaten 
By the disappointments that
Await

They are a national treasure
A precious resource

From the exuberant crude shouts of
Irrational wild boys
Come the builders of shelter
The providers of sustenance
The conquerors of enemies
The explorers of frontiers

From the exuberant crude shouts of
Irrational boys
Come the daring adventurers
The first one into the burning house
The last one out of the burning house
The one still standing when everybody else
Fled

From the insatiable loins of such
Irrational wild boys
Come the fierce wild girls
Who dance insanely upon tables
Who run naked through the streets
Who make love without limits
In open fields
Upon damp grass
All through the night

From the insatiable loins  of such
Irrational wild boys
Come the fierce wild girls
Who cat-fight for their lover
Who kill for their children
Who wail passionately for their dead

From such boys
Baby girl
From such boys

You were born into the world

My crazy baby girl
You were born into the world
Like father, like daughter

And if I could be that young wild boy 
Again
The one that you hate
And love
In such a maniacal way

It would be an honor to be with you

An honor to hold you
An honor to love you

Until my dying day.


Details | Free verse | |

Draconian II

[The Puppeteer]
The storm I see you in
Caught in the race of Caïn
Held by the arms you cannot see--the conducter of Ennui 
-No stronger than the void you hold within-
It began with a hope, an obsession
Casted into, slavery of repugnant possessions 
Granted by, the Avaricious Lords, the ones we serve for
-They Told Us to pray, hope, away from despair, the despair caused by their immaculate Hands
Malice, envy, greed, was granted to me, The Feudal Dream, we want to be Them, just like him
-just how he solaces us, ambivalent hope, engendering knives to my throat 

[The Fall]
In this Valley of morning and weeping
Love lies bleeding, in desperate fear
With their talons, the hunt to rip out thy heart 
As each velvet petal falls apart
Her body chained in their bile and lies, covered with their red-spy
-sent just to check if our souls are in line, do not defy 
Her blood velvet and pure, drips away with innocence of the amber guardian 
The soil of plagues, beggars, and graves
Is know her home, the coven of solace
Though the seed has died--resurrection Is near passing through death's fear
One stronger than you--and thy funeral skies
She is alive--anew
But the vapors still remain
The Apocalypse is here, do we fear?
Just for the death of our sins
Elysia never Seemed so far away

[Our Damnation]
Solitary ruins, Fulfill their visions
We strayed far from the depths within 
We all lingered to his solace--lies
-you make the sign everyday, but lack toknow the name
We are just the toys, he pulls all of the strings
We are nothing in this burning world
of Decadence, and Failed Semblance

[Draconian] 
Draconian--Reach for the shadows within
Draconian--Break from the Fallen's son
Draconian--Their empirical lies, only die
Draconian--Reach the shadows within


Details | Free verse | |

Last Summer Saturday

Poorly heated coffee;
I can't seem to get it hot enough.
Tired eyes still rolling,
Film draped for dreaming.
This last Summer Saturday,
Might as well call it Fall.
The pumpkins out and jumping,
Future jack-o-lanterns for fun.
Gentle breeze cascades,
Every once in a while a poof.
Sunny sun still sunning;
Please don't ever go away.
Time to heat up the coffee;
My goodness this is good!
So open arms and lean back;
God is so, so good!


Details | Free verse | |

Porn No More

I've watched the war from behind closed doors;
Eyes too glued to close.
And now knowing what's in store, there's porn no more.
God's love is the only hope we know.
We are forgiven because of the love that is Jesus.
We are saved because of the love that is Jesus.
We give our lives to the Father for we are His children and He loves us.
We are loved!
No matter what we've done, we are loved!
Confess and ask for forgiveness;
This is such a beautiful gift!
Thank You God!
Thank You Jesus!
You forgive me!
You save me!
You change me!
I am changed!
I am new!
I am renewed!
I am forgiven!
I am saved!
I am changed!
There's porn no more
For God's hope is in store!
There's porn no more
For God's love is the hope of the world!


Details | Free verse | |

The deterioration of distant deities In a vicious solvent

What do you need?
Loneliness
Behind your heart’s curtain
Standing defiant
Kneeling slowly
Flowers of hope
We have sowed in flesh
Withering
Under narcissistic necessity
In An atmosphere 
Made for self protection
Clouds consisting of consciousness
Evaporating 
Lost like empathy

Apocalyptic accusations
Fingers of fate
pointed
Producing
Stressful souls
Sharp words
Rip and tear
All meaning
That lives
When your eyes open


Let me burrow 
To secrets
Held so close
Gasping for your breath
And dying for your life
Let me in


Details | Free verse | |

Where The Next Dollar Will Come From

I'm worried where the next dollar will come from.
Will she ever arrive?
Will she ever show up?
But why am I worrying?
Stop it!
It's all in God's Great Hands!
It's all under God's control!
It's all within His plans!
It's all His
And He will provide
Because He is our Father!
He loves us!
It's all His!
Trust Him!
I know it's difficult;
He will not lead you wrong.
He knows where you need to go.
He knows what you need to endure.
It's all His plan.
It's all in His Hands!
Lay down your life;
Give the control.
He is in control!
Thank You Father!
Trust Him!
It will all be okay!
Trust Him!
Thank You God!
Thank You Jesus!
Thank You Holy Spirit!
I love You always!
I trust You always!
I trust You!
I trust You!
Yes, yes I do!
I trust You!
I love You!
Amen!


Details | Free verse | |

Why

Why go to sleep?
Why we are the ones that have missing things.
Why take a breeze?
When I am the one that needs zephyr.

Why cry until you are satisfied?
When you are always dissatisfied.
Why go and feel contempt?
When we only need respect.
So, why do you expose yourself?
When you haven't cleansed yourself.

Why go and overreact?
When you sometimes don't make a great impact.
Why go and bite?
When you know you cannot eat more than you can chew.

Why give?
When you only deserve.
Why shed some tears?
When they sometimes aren't clear.
Why are you happy?
When you know you are lying.

Why are we bleeding?
When we only need healing.
So, why live?
When we go and die.
And why die?
When we want life.

We might fall down,
But it is never too late,
'Cause life,
Starts now...


Details | Free verse | |

Laughter Cherished

.
Once when heading up VBS
Money was very scarce
Funding deficient
Sanity chances gone
Survival questionable

While looking for something fun to entertain
On a shelf sitting quietly 
A half-gallon jug
Which contained magic elixir_slimmy_soapy
Bubbles trapped in plastic

All this mixture needed was two teenage girls
Who had oversupply of energy
To create bubbles in multiples
These bubbles for little ones to chase_burst
And want more to chase again

Many bubble memories of happiness
As those little ones did play
But the best memory is of those teenage helpers
Laughing as bubbles they did make

In honor of Debbie Guzzi's Bubbles contest...


Details | Free verse | |

Move On

So you sinned?
Well, that's done and over with!
Keep it in the past
'Cause that's where it belongs.
But ask Jesus for forgiveness;
Don't dwell on mistakes any longer
Because He makes you new again:
Renewed.
Love is the outcome;
Forget the wrongs,
Love and move on!


Details | Free verse | |

Beyond The Distance And The Days

Our love grows stronger,
Even beyond the distance,
Even beyond the days.
I know you're with me always
And I'm always with you;
In God together we're together forever
And physically we'll be together forever soon.


Details | Free verse | |

Budding beauty

Age of purity and innocence,
this time of change
meets a blooming maturity
Fulfilling form, stylising figure;
nature produces fine specimen
A time to play with hair and fashion
To perfect beauty, 
applying make-up and perfumes
Bringing forth fresh radiance
Changing mood and attitude
A young lady, pleasing to the eye
stands before mankind
A budding beauty
ready to take on new life style
To seek, settle, nurture,
or give her all to career
Go-getter or jet-setter
her presence is felt near


Details | Free verse | |

Jesus, Please Take Over Me

You've fallen down again;
How can you let darkness win?
You just scraped your knee,
You didn't break your leg.
It will all be okay;
I will give you strength.
Brush it off, my child;
Come and take my hand.
Let me help you up again;
You will be okay.
I have always been with you,
And I always will be.
I am by your side,
But this time,
Will you allow me to take the lead?


Details | Free verse | |

Reflection

If you ask me to look in a mirror
To stand in front of it naked before the world
What do you think I'd see?
An accomplished teenager who has made it so far in life?
A wonderfully intelligent young woman who has high aspirations for the future?
A caring and kind youth who will be the tomorrow of today's society?
A beautiful young woman who's sure to get the right man one day?
Now you're asking me what I see, right?
I see none of the above
But I do see something.
I see an unaccomplished teenager who could have done much better this far in life
I see an idiotic young girl who has no idea where she's headed and is rather indecisive
A caring and Kind youth who won't make it to tomorrow's society
A hideous young teenager who will never get a man in her short life-span
An insecure child who needs obsession to pacify herself
A self-loathing teenager who is willing to sacrifice normality by self destructing her body
A crazed teenager who had to create a world to escape the harshness of reality
A lonely teenager wanting nothing more than attention
A little child screaming out for help from the shadows of her mind
A quiet individual who wants nothing more than to be heard
A pained teenager whose agony goes unnoticed. 
A heartbroken teenager whose angst and love remain ignored
A sinner before the eyes of God
That is what I see in the smooth glass that is reflected back toward me
I loathe what is seen within it
I hate what I am
I hate who I am
You tell me to look again
I do, and I see the same as before
But I see the mirror now
The intricate cracks
The many barely noticeable pieces of glass missing
One more crack
One more hit
And this mirror is gone.
One more crack
One more hit
And I'm gone.


Details | Free verse | |

Being There

2, 000 people in this God forsaken crest of a town
Am I the only one to keep the balance
To count the half second before midnight
To bring philosophy to a women's monthly
And call it quits
You don't know
And you could never be there

Cause when you're there
You're down 
Betrayed by wet seals in vast grocery markets
Betrayed by the heavy weight of a manicure
And beaten down by the harsh scent 
Of the after sex
Too cruel to shake it's fuming  head in our direction
But too serene to keep you shaking
And why why would anyone want that

6 people in this God forsaken house
God doesn't even give it the right to call it a home
God sends it with two teeth and an ugly birthmark
God doesn't grant the wishes of a ten year old
On her two knees praying for her savior
And wringing her lungs of tears 'till morning
And you could never be there

Cause when you're there
You're shivering from the cold
And a swollen belly that's been empty for days
Empty of food water sleep and comfort
Empty of God's infinite grace and empathy
And why shouldn't you be for the things you've done
The naughty things a ten year old does
The sticky curious findings we shoved in our mouths
And why why would anyone want that

4 people on this God forsaken island I call my mind
Sylvia the silver tongued snake
Vintent the red breasted songbird
And the man whose name is not to be mentioned
Myself the whole idiotic lot of me that dances with thought
We're counting the days off 'till new year to give up our one last dream
And you could never be there

Cause when you're there 
You're different
And the silent squabble of thoughts isn't enough to get you off
And people pride themselves on a trait they can never achieve
And you're the whisper of this town this house this mind
Marooned by an entity of passion
Separated from the depth of nothing big but neutral
But given freedom in a red dress
And you could never be there

And God why would you want to 
And God from a ten year old a sixteen year old
Why why would anyone want that


Details | Free verse | |

By Our Side

By my side:
The tallest mountain,
The calmest pond,
The purest stream;
My hope and strength,
Faith and love;
The Lord,
Our God,
Always by our side


Details | Free verse | |

The Name of Jesus

Whisper me the sweet sound of freedom,
The sweet sound found in Your Name,
Holy and Heavenly freedom,
All in the Name of Jesus!


Details | Free verse | |

Ignored

We talked,
But I wasn't heard,
We walked,
But you scattered,
We built,
But you destroyed,
I thought,
But you acted,
We were determined,
But you exterminated...

You were blind,
I was sighted,
You were darkened,
I was lightened,
I was myself,
You weren't yourself...

I was lone,
No one cared.

I was ignored,
No one cared,
About my emotions...


Details | Free verse | |

The Truth About Love

Love is not easy
Love is hard
Love is time apart
Trying not to drown
Praying to stay loyal
Holding on to lover's promises
Dreaming of reuniting
Crying tears of hurt and joy
Thinking of you constantly
Asking God for all the best
Love is difficult
Love is not easy
Love is hard
Love is faith
Love is hope
Love is trust
But love is beautiful
Oh, so beautiful
And love is worth it
Oh, so worth it
Love is in God's Hands
Love is protected
Love will come back again
Reunion again
For God is love
In Jesus' Name
We pray
Amen!


Details | Free verse | |

Graduation

Graduation

Your Family has raised you
Your Creativity has led you.
Your Determination has held you
Your Work has lifted you
Your Friends have been with you
Your school will remember you

You have made memories and friendships to always hold
You have made your life and it has made you  
You have become more and you will become more again.
You have been part of the past and you are now a part of the future
You have been one of many but you are still unique
You have depended on others and others will come to depend on you

Never forget you can still seek advice or extend a helping hand
Never forget that you can make things better but cannot change everything
Never forget that paths will change and may again cross
Never forget to use your strengths and never give up
Never forget mistakes happen and never forget to forgive
Never lose your courage or fail to get back up again
Never forget to continue to strive, hope, pray, and be happy


Remember there are still lessons to be learned and mountains to be climbed
Remember there are still fears to overcome and dreams to be dreamed.
Remember we Salute your future endeavors and… We Salute You.
Remember you are uniquely you
Remember: You are our sons and daughters… And 
Remember: You are loved true.

CSEastman


Details | Free verse | |

Life Can Be Cruel

I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
Wondering...
When is Mum, coming for me?

"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"

I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now

I wish God 
Could make my Mum
Magically appear
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
Disappear!

“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!

I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if 
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own

A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!

Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Dirty tears
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm

“What am I going to do?”

“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?

“Is my life worth living?”

Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!


Details | Free verse | |

Run Into Love

You make me smile even when the sad songs come on.
You make me laugh with every chance you get.
You don't even have to be here for me to fall for you.
I've played the backseat for too long.
Maybe now it's time to run;
Time to run into love.
What do we have to lost?
This is only life once.
We are only young once.
And I believe I am starting to fall for you.
What do we have to lose?
Let's dive in together,
Holding hands,
Into the unknown.


Details | Free verse | |

Filled with Song

My fingers brush the strings of an old guitar, hidden away in the closet in my room.
A small smile plays my lips and I close my eyes, picturing me playing that guitar.
Me singing some song on a bench in the rain.
Singing the music that makes my heartbeat pulse through my whole body.

I can sing. I know I can, I just need practice.
I laugh as I picture the look on my friends faces when I tell them this.
I smile and put the guitar away, all the while thinking of how I'd love to learn to play 
that guitar.
To go to a friends party and sing. To make them feel what I do when I ride a high 
brought on by nothing more or less than music.

Breathless, I sit on my bed, my face glowing.
I will learn. I will learn to let out the song that makes my heart fill with so much joy I 
feel like I'm going to explode.

Still smiling, I put on my favorite music and let that high take me to a higher place.


Details | Free verse | |

Soy Sauce Spills

Soy sauce drains 
Into the white, clustered rice
Stepped on…
spills . . . 
Soy sauce taints
The whiteness of the grain
 It slips out of my hands
No use...no point in crying out in rage
Though I was starving, 
I'll just eat another thing and start on a new page

I'm hungry like a swine
I wish I can earn back my snack!
I'm as angry as a bull
I'm about ready to attack! Attack!
Soy sauce packages
Fall unto the dirty school ground
Stepped on
By bratty, conceited teens
They really need to eat their greens
Instead of junkfood and pizza
They should drink some water
Instead of drinking sugary drinks or
 Sucking on popsicles obnoxiously
Why did the soy sauce spill? Seriously....


Details | Free verse | |

Freedom in Love

Keeping my head up, treading water
Cut throat surviving, struggling
Going under, death visits
Will to live, tested!
Selfishness Vs Selflessness
A Greater Love, encompasses me
God demonstrating mercy, for his children
Learning about forgiveness, cultivating, inner faith
Melody of Love, one can experience
In the darkest, waking hours, of everyday living
Self survival, learning how to live
Peace of Mind, Peace of Heart
Peaceful Spirit, Freedom in Love


Details | Free verse | |

Falling into Darkness

Falling inside the black never made much sense to me
Struggling for air 
Gasping for breath
Can you hear me?
I'm whispering your name
No one's here to hear except gathered shadows and sillouttes of nobodies
I've been let down again
What am I supposed to beleive?
How am I supposed to feel?
Hearing the deafening roar of falling my thoguhts go back to you
I'm falling in the black again
What did you mean?
How did you say what you mean?
I need you
If only for a time
I need the light, even if dimmed
Don't let me fall into the black
I won't survive again
I can't go on living like that
I need the light
Please don't push me back into the darkness.


Details | Free verse | |

The Light

They praise me like a saint,
But I am a sinner;
They don't know the man they see.
I am an addict.
Broken eyes to pornography,
Only Jesus can set me free.
Only by His death on the cross
And the grace of His Father's love
Am I able to be set free.
With God as The Light,
The One and Only Light,
The Only Hope in sight,
Will I be set free.
I am free.


Details | Free verse | |

Confession

I lost all the color in my face
My throat is closing up
My brain is frozen
My hands are shaking
I'm naseous again
I didn't mean for it to happen
Why in the world did I ever hit send?
Waiting here like a fish on a hook
Reeled close and closer struggling to drift away
The hook is caught on my lip
I can't escape this
I can't breathe
The weight of this is crushing me
It's like carrying the world and the planets on top
Patrick, the name of a saint
Michael the name of an arch angel
Why did you leave me hanging?
Hands are shaking
Mind is frozen
Soul is burning
Mouth is dry
Losing color slowly
Fading away
Preparing for the big bang.
 


Details | Free verse | |

Every Second We're Away

Every second we're away,
We grow stronger everyday
Until that day will finally come
When we know it's okay
And we will rest in each other's arms
In peace from God above,
No longer missing one another
Because we're together;
Built forever in each other's love.


Details | Free verse | |

Love Built By God Above

You are in my heart wherever I go;
You I will never let go.
You are with me always;
You I am always.
This is love.
Build by God above,
This is love.


Details | Free verse | |

My Nest

Love is my nest.
It holds me
where all the world I see.
It saves me
from the ground
which my soul will never meet.

Up in a forest tree
hunters scattering in threes
they'll never catch me
I have love.
I am perfectly happy.

relaxed I am
I do not stress
for there isn't life
without my nest.

who cares what's below?
I am above.
love is my nest
My nest is my love.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Feeling cold,
Lost in desperation,
Remembering sadness,
Getting in frustration...

Trying to let go,
Comprehended,
By few of those.

Losing comprehension,
Restrained from myself,
Being criticized,
Feeling hollowed.

Needing help,
To bring me,
Back to life...


Details | Free verse | |

Free Verse

I just don't understand. I was raised right and taught to be a man. Yet i lived a life of being ranked. Listening as the girls explained what i lacked. I wasn't a bad kid. I didn't enjoy doing the stupid stuff the players did. I always had a smile on my face. Didn't walk around sagging and acting like a fake thug. And yet... I was treated like a nobody. Barely acknowledged and always underestimated. Now i'm not saying this for pity. I'm saying this cuz i have realized i have never truly said how i felt. Anger always under the surface from my past i have to let these emotions, these feelings out before its 2 late. For an example, today i yelled at a teacher. Now the teacher was annoying. I was sitting doing my work and she walked up on me taking the rejection of her as a teacher by the other students out on the good kid. I was sitting there thinking about the past and she came on me. I snapped, "Lady how you gone get on me? What did i do to yo to deserve this treatment. You need to focus on your bad kids and back up off of me. I don't feel like talking to you." I put my head down and covered myself with my hands realizing that i had an explosion of emotion, dealt on an innocent bystander. I need to let these emotions that are rumbling and shaking, hiding in the shadows, showing a side of me that i don't know, i need to let these emotions out! How to do this i don't really know. Should i yell at the top of my lungs that i hate the world? Go back to the crushes of my past and slap those stupid, foolish, girls? No i think this has been enough. I thank you for listening to my words. No responses needed i just needed to be heard. Already my muscles tense from the emotions have started to relax. I feel so releived, as if i had just took a deep breath after a lack of oxygen.  There's nothing else really to say. Again, i must thank you for listening to this.


Details | Free verse | |

Untitled

Makeup, something she does not have to wear,
For my paramour’s skin is soft as clouds above
Our heads,
And as flawless as placid waves
Swaying with the shore.

Those eyelashes long, flapping like
Wings on birds, but ever so carelessly
Hitting everyone she meets with a strong breeze.
Those light-brown eyes, which hide underneath,
Barely able to be seen, shaped like two almonds
Molded on her round face,
Coated in a shell of coffee brown skin.

And it is those eyes, which I stare into for hours,
Pondering about what lies behind in that mind,
Which is strong as her will.
Her voice is soft, as if she was whispering to a
Hidden ghost.
But if you can hear just a second of her voice you’ll
Hear music played better than any symphony.

As she talks, her short black hair falls in front
Of her face, and she just brushes it to the side
With the whip of her wrist.
If only I could have a try.
Her body is like an hourglass
Two legs no bigger than twigs,
And I know as she walks with those legs
Every boys’ pulse spike and head turn.

How could I forget her smile,
Which shines brighter than the fire of her desires.
And it is that lingering smile in my direction,
Which makes me soar higher than the clouds,
And my heart beat faster than jets.

I stare into those cinnamon eyes,
And the wind dances with her wavy hair.
I only throw away the urges to kiss those lips.
Those light pink lips,
Dosed with a just a thin coat of light-red lipstick.
I throw away the urges to grab my paramour’s hand.
Makeup, something my paramour does not need
For she is perfect just the way she is,
No need to go tampering.


Details | Free verse | |

The Rebellious Teen

The rebellious Teen loved all his friends. 
The only ones he listened to… were them.
They wanted him to drink and smoke every night. 
They said experimenting with drugs was definitely all right.

The rebellious teen’s mom was beside herself… 
This was her child and this could finish his life.
But he continued to listen to the Devil himself.
What could she do in the end to save his life?

The devilish friends held him closely in the palm of his hand…
In the end she decided she had to move far away from them.
Somewhere… where only new friends he could find.
Those who loved life, sports, and learning: to draw him back in.

Then every so often she let him, for a visit, to go back…
Each time he went, fewer were left to contact, yes, some were even dead.
Some had over dosed… Some didn’t care who he was any more.
What he found was rot and that they lacked the drive to live.

The rebellious teen cried for what he saw they had become…
He had changed and now could see, what was happening to them…
These were no longer the friends that he remembered from before.
He tried to save them with words and his love… but they didn’t care.

He didn’t want to go back to that sadness, to live ever again… 
Now he looked to the future and that was a fact.
The moral I tell you, all of my friends…if he won’t listen to you… 
Then find him new friends.

For if he is your life and if you want him to live…
Find others to help steer him or else you can’t win…
Let his support group be new peers who enjoy life to the brim.
Yes, those who will help lead him to walk in the light again.

From a true experience…


Details | Free verse | |

These Walls I Built

Stuck in the prison of my own life,
I dodge behind these walls I built.
And inside is a demon covered in guilt
And shame so thick you can't see his eyes.
God, please help me to see
No matter what, You will always love and be with me.
Thank You Father for everything.
In Jesus' Name,
We pray.
Amen.


Details | Free verse | |

The Fear

The Aphotic rays reach higher
And shame, shade reigns over all
Lacuna, Apathy is all I feel as I fall into the ashed grave
I'm living, the slowest way to die
Elysia, rapture where are you now

What will I do when the flame is extinguished 
What will I do when I drown in ash
What will I do when they sing my name in funeral dirges 
How can this be all, one short organic vitality
Scares to die, but afraid of a new day

Scared to die, but so afraid of a new day
Will I Ressructe to Paradise, burn in Hell, or lay in Sheol
Is this a there is, one feather, to the dirge
My life so long - my suffering grows
Scared to die, but so afraid of a new day

In all of the ashes, a flame begins
Once again, here I am
Living, the slowest way to die


Details | Free verse | |

This Is The Love

Stand up and shake;
Feel the rhythm in your heart.
Ignite those pants;
We get up and dance.
God on our mind,
Eternity in our souls;
Feel the chills of those bones.
It's the hope.
Open those closed doors:
Into Heaven we go,
Welcomed and forgiven.
Here is the love;
Let's dance!


Details | Free verse | |

Schizophrenic Remedy

I've glanced at heaven.
I've walked through hell.
I wish on stars and dandelions

I crave for fantasies reality cannot satiate
At night I talk to the moon and sing to the stars
I walk on clouds and speak to whispers
I follow faeries to far off places 

Where a bleeding moon hangs from the sky
Where I run along in meadows of black and white roses.
Smiling as the thorns lacerate me.
 Dancing with red eyed creatures
Listening to whispers in the wind.
With this feeling of finally belonging.
Being finally at peace... 
Safe inside, this world in my mind
Lost between reality and time


Details | Free verse | |

We Arent Seeds Forever

We are first planted
Planted into the ground
As a seed we don’t know what to expect 
No one does 
We are just carefree
Rolling around in dirt

But then 
When days pass
We are sprouts
 
The new seeds
Enjoy the dirt
We wonder where those days went
When WE were the ones in the dirt 

We realize
We aren’t seeds forever
Pretty soon we will be
Those beautiful tulips, salmon...or lavender
We have the choice 
To be whatever color we want to be 

But when our first storm hits
When we’re struggling 
To be straight and perfect 
We will remember 
Being a seed 

When we are gasping for water 
Drying out
Wilting away 
Shriveling up
We will remember 
Being a seed

We realize
We are not seeds forever. 


Details | Free verse | |

Gods Gift

Someone to hold you 
Someone to care
Someone to wipe 
Away all of your tears
An icon of strength
Of courage and love
Gods gift to the world 
Is a mothers love.


Details | Free verse | |

Adolescent Angst

The knowledge that I am
is not.
Like an hallucination,
I am
nothing more than
a name --
a designation of something
that is
yet to be.

The future must unfold
all that
I become in later years.
For now, 
I know not why,
or, perhaps,
even that I do
exist....


Details | Free verse | |

Where I'm From

I am from Tupperware-lined pantry shelves Ziploc bags of cereal Sunshine and bumble-bee brown Kitchen counters I am from the crackling ice of Norway the horns of Jericho the sweltering heat of Phoenix I'm from a town removed from time wood and fire heat Pine trees that stand like castle towers I am from misunderstandings and broken hearts From people who wanted more than they could have I'm from wilted desert plains and lava skies from a happy broken home the lonesome hum of coyote lullabies I am from roses that grew on brick canvases The corn that sprouted on barren clay I'm from simple needs and lavish desires Masking-taped moving boxes and “miles to go before I sleep” I am from “Gypsy Road” and “Turn the Page” another era an old soul I'm from wash hung to dry broken morals and years of change Me? I am from all the things that are a part of me and I a part of them Church prayers Crackling cassette players Serpentine dirt roads Each live alone in my memories and I beneath their surface dust I see them behind my closed eyes and maybe they see me in their dreams


Details | Free verse | |

Girl Rising

To live under oppression is terrible
watching every word you utter
never quite sure what sets him off
what he laughs at one day, the next
a flying fist smashes you to the floor

Always fearful, guts in a spin of tension
listening at night for the creak of stairs
knowing you will be brutally raped
just an object, a chattel to be used 
the heartache, pain and despair.

The feeling of helplessness abounds
you wake one morning to find
all is quiet, not even sounds of snoring
fearfully you walk through the house.

Then, there he lies bloated not moving
he has drowned in his own vomit
a kind policeman takes your hand
leads you off to see a doctor 

Who is shocked by your battered body
tenderly they question you 
stunned into silence by your words
you are taken to a pretty home

A kindly woman cares for you
suddenly at the age of 14
you are finally free of him
can go out when you like
even finally have some friends

And are able to say what you want
with no fear of flying fists lashing out
baffled, bewildered you slowly adapt
savouring the greatest gift of all

Freedom, yes Freedom, so priceless
the chains of oppression have slipped away
after 14 years of being humiliated and oppressed
suddenly a new world opens up before you
where the choices are limited only by yourself

                 FREEDOM


written 07/ 21/2013

contest: Girl Rising


Details | Free verse | |

Blossom

Like a cherry tree in the spring,
God if this is meant to be,
Please let this blossom.


Details | Free verse | |

Death

Death had come.
Death had killed.
Death had left.
Death had taken my friend.

The only one I trust.
Leaving me here alone, 
Depressed.

Death had come.
Death had killed.
Death had left.
Death had taken my family.
 
The fire burned our home.
Turning them into dust.
Burning loneliness into my heart.
Quieted.

Death had come.
Death had killed.
Death had left.
Death had taken my life.


Details | Free verse | |

Love Lasts

Love can last a lifetime
not just a fling for a short of time
watch the lovebirds fly,
together soar the sky.

Love like this i want to feel,
from the start to end they shared
the bliss and delight, the glitches hitches of life
he and she, and no other somebody's soul to part.

When the storm comes raging there's no way to worry,
with each other's hands nothing to be sorry
as the new day showed up, they welcome the warmest invite
facing the long horizon with love in their hearts.

Love for a lifetime i do believe still exist
and not just a one night stand of false step.
Many fall in love they say, but
easily fall out of love i could tell.

In the year of new epochs
love still last for a lifetime
and not just a fling for a short of time
still i believe and trust the youths.


Details | Free verse | |

Stuck In The Struggle

Sometimes I get stuck in the struggle
And I forget that this life is real,
Full of real love,
Full of real people,
Full of real strength,
Full of real faith.
Look around
Because this is real.
Welcome to reality;
This is God's amazing life!


Details | Free verse | |

Scam of the Con Man

Who hasn’t heard of the Nigerian Letter or the Australian Lottery won?
So what about you’re kids in college… what for them is going on?

My son found a job posted on the University’s Nursing jobs bulletin Board.
Apparently several students applied to take care of an old man coming into town.
They were each approved separately, and then sent a check…
Plus a list of nursing supplies and a wheel chair they had to pay for and pick up.
Apparently, the place to work with had already been set up.
Once everything was paid for, they were ready for the job.

Instead all they got was their accounts cleaned out.
And the Nursing supplies were another part of the scam, my dear.
In the end the money they had was gone with everything saved from the student loans.

Now the problem was made and you know what? Guess who didn’t care?
The police, University, and bank said it happens all the time.
Of course they turned away saying it wasn’t their concern.
The bank told my son he owed $3400 more, even through he was the victim of the fraud.
The Banks fraud department yawned and said they wouldn’t look into what was done.
In fact, they were sending his accounts into collections to attack him even more.

Slough it off, and attack the victim, and of course none of them would do their work.
Mail fraud, money fraud, and con men involved… across state lines meant nothing at all.
Attacking the victim is not where the Banks, police, and university belong.
So let me tell you The States’ Attorney General is the next on the list.
The Attorney General and the Federal Government is where to go, my friend.
Don’t give up on the internet, there are help groups there, that abound.
Tell your children of the game… to keep them far away.

The bank wants my son’s next student loan money for collections on the debt…
And he will have to work full time at minimum wage to survive.
You might say everything at the moment… is truly upside down.
But we will fight unendingly… to straighten everyone out…

What a Christmas job deal breaker… and what a way to find out…


Details | Free verse | |

A poet after my own heart

Words formed into such beauty
Can so easily take my breath away
Can so easily sweep me off my feet
Can take this heart, break or make it, and bewitch this mind
I'm falling apart to synthetic verse across a digital screen
A poet after my own heart
What I search, what I crave, what I may have found
Knees buckling, teeth chattering
Heart melting like a waxed candel
So easily swept away with the tide of rythmic word
I pour my heart out
To this poet after my own heart
Hiding my real self from everyone else
Decrypting my form for no one else
For this poet after my own heart to understand- maybe see
Decrypting him I find myself reflected in him.
Leaving myself out in the open
For him to take or leave
Still showing this heart in my wrist to no one, only informing the poet of it
Amazed, and lulled to serenity by this poet
I'm quite infactuated and he does not even know it
I'm a simple stalker with her eye on a target
Aiming to hit, shooting to miss
Bone crushing lust for a poet after my own heart
Lust, love
Love, lust
What's the difference at this age?
Dependant on the poet, quiet around him
Lulled into silence by his presceence, put to shyness
Fighting down rolling waves of insecurity in the ocean of my gut
Watching him, stalking him playfully
Gives me the zest
Hiding and trying to avoid from being seen- to avoid his dissapointment
At such a homley form- nothing special, nothing beautiful, nothing divine
Just simply sam, standing before him, before you
Simpley Sam, the simple stalker
I've found you, you've seen me.
Which direction now?
I would sew my lips shut before I ever uttered a word
Of this poem, of my heart, of my feelings
Because I simply cannot take one more let down


Details | Free verse | |

What did I do

I come in and sit down
You pretend I'm not there
You say you have no friends
So what am I?

I come in and sit down
I pretend you're not there
You get mad
Why is that?

I start to respond
I try to talk
You still seem mad
What did I do?

I can’t read minds
You have to tell me
What did I do?

You talk to her all the time
Her this and Her that
What did I do?

You should be my friend
But instead you ignore me
What did I do?

What am I?
What did I do?
Why won't you tell me?


Details | Free verse | |

Unforgotten

I've captured you from death's snare,
While others were unaware
No more worrying,
You are unforgotten

You are alive
Others deny it 
Well, I know...
You are unforgotten
In my memory
You are unforgotten 	


Details | Free verse | |

I Have The Evil of You

I have the evil of you
Caught in my hands, entangled
Like the arabesques of Eden's vines
Just like paradise, but why should shame remain
Singeing like immolation of Peter's Inferno
These reddish-purple chains convolute myself
as the grapples shoot out from the clouds
both below, above me
The self-lovelust propelling 
You did this - these plagues
You drag me down - to your cage
Cadaver Vampire - I am your slave



Details | Free verse | |

Beauty or Ugly?

I look out my window
at the perfect sunset
but see nothing 
as my heart is breaking.

Everything that was once beautiful
is now dreadfully repulsing
as all the light in my world is gone,
ripped from me in a horrid way.

I look out my window 
at the kids playing
and envy them.
I'm only a kid, 
why can't I be happy and carefree
like them?


Details | Free verse | |

Dear Dad

Dear Dad 				
Why don’t you love me? 
The small brown eyed girl asked her father as he beat her at night,
 then with a smile in the morning he’d scoop her up in his arms to play.
Why don’t you love me? 
The bigger brown eyed girl asked her father as he walked out and
never came back.
Why don’t you love me? 
The young brown eyed girl asked her boyfriend of two years,
As he walked out the same door her father did eight years before.
Never to return.
Why didn’t you love me?
The older brown eyed girl asked her father at his funeral.
As she leaned over the edge of his casket and kissed him gently on the forehead,
Tears running down her cheeks.
Why couldn’t you love me? 
The oldest brown eyed girl asked as she lays Jasmine’s and roses
On her father’s grave.
Only a row down from her old boyfriend’s,
With love that never dies.
And her question is answered in the wind, 
As the answer is whispered in her heart.
How could you love me?
If you couldn’t love yourself?


Details | Free verse | |

midnight projection of sunrise mentality

Smooth silk lined lips
occupy my tip jar
perched on impatient fingertips
procuring a signal of admiration

Undetected happiness survives
Floating through the hills
Surrounding suburbia’s subconscious


Sighing eyes
Record testament
Euphoria
Emerging from a clutched fist
Time steps closer


Details | Free verse | |

Pretend Nothing Happened

Treat me bad
Pretend nothing happened

Ignore me now
Pretend nothing happened
Try to talk
Pretend nothing happened

I'm sick of pretending
Sick of waiting
If you really care then say it

I can’t pretend
That you don’t treat me like crap
That you don’t act like I'm not there
That you're not always against me
That you still want to be a friend

I can’t pretend and 
That’s why I’m done.

Our friendship?
Pretend nothing happened


Details | Free verse | |

The Margins

She sleeps with a copy of Stephen King's The Shining under her pillow.

The knife was left on the kitchen sink; the gun to her head out of ammo.

She writes, but has no pen to stab with-
just a finger to make herself sick

Reflection screams "I want to be perfect!" and the mirror shut up!

How can she? How can she? She will fight; she'll work for it, she's been working

a new page; fresh - running out, wasted
so much paper wasted already

She writes in the margins, left there for someone to open the book and see 


Details | Free verse | |

Shadow

Shadow of a butterfly reaching through the light shining 
Through transparent window panes.
The shadow of me hiding in the shade casted
By the wall beneath the sill.

Sunlight of this evening lighting up my bedroom,
Helping me to see my surrounding.
Sunlight of this day, for me, it was brightly burning,
All while bicycling home.

Shadow of a bird symbolizing flying and basking
In the sun, which soothes my pains.
The shadow of me concealing itself and fasted
Inside my head as I sit still.

Rays of a sunset touching the glass, illuminating
The colours and the wall.	
Rays of a sunrise waiting for night to pass, wishing
To shine so I may finally roam.

Shadow of a cage: this window the only thing
Keeping me as solitary as I can be.
The shadow of me welling up deep within,
Descending into sorrow.

Light of the sun embracing countries, forever travelling.
Sunrise awaiting my horizon.
Light of the sun reminding me how
There will be a day of my dream coming true.

Shadow of the blue twilight gently glowing
Throughout this room where I am free.
The shadow of me restlessly reflecting
Upon thoughts of the days beyond tomorrow.

Sunshine everyday warmly reassuring
That it will always shine on through.
Sunshine everyday piercing
The gray clouds of any day.

Shadow of thoughts filling
My mind with a saddening realization.
The shadow of me is suddenly being embraced,
My Sun ensuring in time I will attain all I’ve dreamed.


Details | Free verse | |

Broken

With her hair in tangles, her body bruised, her clothes torn. . . 
Her virginity is gone.

A single tear is drawn
and slowly it falls. . . 
and slowly it falls. . . 
and slowly it falls. . .
As it's journey ends, her eyelids close.

And as she sits in the cold, black, darkness of the night,
she opens her eyes and mascara lines her grief strickin life.

Her hair in tangles, her body bruised, her clothes torn. . . 
Her virginity gone.

She slowly slides the black stockings over her thin, boney legs.

What has happened is done and what is done is never to be erased.  
For the memory will be forever embeded in her brain.

She never thought such a crule act would be brought upone her. . . 
But it was, and it ended up being a tornado of broken.


Details | Free verse | |

Do You Mind

Do you mind?

I said I mind
My mind
When I have
A mind.
When i meet
Another mind
I find my
Mind
Out of mind
And my
Sole soul
Pats my mind
As if to
Remind
"Hey, mind
Your mind"


Details | Free verse | |

The Land of Sophia

Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night Are the Lies held worth it in time Only embracing The Veil of Logic The Truth is cast into shade where all vices are soon to be made For all of our dreams and dramaticies The Destruction Star poisons seas Far from This Galaxy among the stars I can see myself, And The One I've became Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night Caught in our lust, of forgetting trust I wonder can we break free of bound forever in the clutches of Lilith's Love Eden's Heart Who's desperate For Love Who's desperate For Light yet wallows in Blight and chooses to wait--forevermore The wait in Summer--An Eternity Lilith's Love Eden's Heart Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night We don't chose what's right I can't believe we are able to see this far Crawling in Shadows Never will breath find it's light Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night
**Mark Jansen, Guitarist, Male Vocals, and main songwriter of Epica**


Details | Free verse | |

Hello my Old Friend

Hello, my old friend...
Did you miss me?
It seems like forever since we last met like this
Hello, my old friend...
Did you miss the warm touch of my skin?
I missed the way your cool lips feel against my wrist
The little nip and nibble as you let out my demons
Did you miss the ribbons of blood that run through these veins?
I know I missed you.
Hello, my old friend...
You want to help me get through this?
Thank you for listening
No one else does
No one else helps
Nor would they even know where to begin.
You're the only true friend I have
Hello, my old friend...
Did you miss the fragile veins in my wrist?
You once said they reminded you so much like twigs trapped under ice...
So please, friend
Bite down and snap a few twigs here or there.
Hello, my old friend...
Like a doctor you cure my pain
You know exactly which areas to touch and to tease
Hello, my old friend
You're the only one who listens
You're the only one who knows how I really feel
and you're the only one who knows the temporary fix
To what aches and ails me
Hello my old friend
Did you do something new?
I noticed the shine and the gleam in your eye
You're looking pretty sharp these days
Hello, my old friend
Hello my razor blade
Goodbye thoughts and goodbye pain
Good bye voices in my brain.
 


Details | Free verse | |

Survival Of The Fittest

Dropped out of school
At an early age
Lived on the streets 
Because, I disgusted my mother
She thought I was a poor example
Of true Christian beliefs
At an early age 
She religiously drummed into me
‘blood is thicker than water’
And yet, 
Here I am today confused, lonely and hungry
No one protecting me
No friends
No family
No home to go too
Just, peoples eye for an eye,
tooth for a tooth mentality
Praying for the sun to shine
To feel some warmth again!
Sun rays of hope, lighting me up
To live through this darkness without fear
With a heart full of faith
No matter what happens to me, now!
If only I could drink my salty tears
It would sustain me for a lifetime
Your tears are worth nothing, around here
You’re classed as weak and venerable
Only attracting death
Your life worth nothing!
Save me from myself
I am my best friend
I am my worst enemy
My prayers and dreams
Lost in the wind
Blowing around like autumn leaves
The rain washing them away
Down the drain into the sewage
Rolling with the seasons
Year after year
Survival for the fittest!
Surviving on the love
Hidden, inside me
Being my strength and guide
My personal lifeline
In surviving this crazy world 
We all live in


Details | Free verse | |

Dead On My Own, Alive In Him

Faith is not failing me,
I am failing Him.
Why do I refuse to accept His grace?
Why would I rather live my life on my own
When He is extending a helping a hand?
I am depressed,
Dead on my own,
But I am alive in Him!
I give my life to Him for real;
I give Him my all,
And now I'm alive
Because He gives me life!


Details | Free verse | |

Already Dead

It's like you are already dead
your heart beats
blood runs their your veins
but you are more than brain-dead
you are dead

You walk the streets at night
selling drugs to zombies
like yourself

You avoid being seen with me
in the light 

When I do see you
like the dead you don't talk
you sit in my car wearing
a hoodie like a veil

Do you know how difficult
it is to have a conversation with a dead
person

You say you miss me
but I don't feel anything coming from you
when I hug you
your touch is cold

You don't return my phone calls
You don't answer my e-mails

Like the dead
you are clean
your hair  is cut
But your face is ashen and 
those black eyes of yours that far away look

You spend your time with other
low-ballers and walkers of the night

In a dream
I thought I could take you to heaven
but we both fell back to earth 

Your life on this plane was short
and you were born dead
destine to walk this earth alone


Details | Free verse | |

Relationship of Lies

'Good Night'
I say because it’s the proper thing to do while dating.

'Sweet dreams'
Is said, though I really don’t mean it.

'I miss you'
I said to make you happy, even though I don’t.

'Your eyes are pretty'
They really are, just not the eyes my heart longs for.


Details | Free verse | |

Your Love Is The Strongest

Send me to the darkest places;
That's where I feel You strongest.
A kiss and hug down the deepest alleys;
Never letting go, Your love is the strongest.


Details | Free verse | |

Situation Comedy Sketch


The kids in Caroline's
family living room 
gather for snacks, 
lolling around on rug and sofas. 
Girls challenge the boys 
to leg wrestling contests.
 
Chilly out in the late Autumn. 
No leaves on the trees. 
The room warm
soaked in playful experiment,

taken for granted. 
Kathy and Neil 
Caroline and Nolan and Pete
invited, not caring about climate.
 
David arrives by accident.
Caroline a kind girl
greets him not asking for his invitation.
Everyone hears, “Oh no.” 
They feel the cold, the ending. 
David never takes it for granted.


Details | Free verse | |

First love, you know silly things happen

Sometimes silly things happen,
like that, now, old night,
when we named a star,
just to enjoy the following of the cliche,
the sibling from the one that brought us apart.

Hearts filled with the whole innocence from,
You being the one,
and I being the best one.
What contained bits of the irony of us calling our first love,
"forever",
knowing with our premature fascination for words that,
first,
is the start of a sequence,
is what comes before all others in time or order,
which was indeed what it was.

And sometimes not so silly things happen,
like us growing apart.
or mainly, growing,
for us to realize that we were - actually - not that into each other.

But back then, in those minds and hearts of two young and naive preteens,
we would believe anything that came from the others lips,
those lips that were our firsts and till then our only ones, or so we said...
to keep up with our diminishing innocence.

Do you...
do you remember how our star was called?- I asked, that one last night.
hoping you did remember, knowing you didn't.
To receive the expected answer,
which just confirmed what I already knew, 
and apparently,
you did too.

After that kiss you said good bye,
and never looked back,
which was actually fine,
cause I had already done that,
just that,
well,
not out loud.

Now you know,
sometimes silly things happen,
like me saying it now,
Thank you my first love,
I'll never forget those lips of yours,
goodbye.




Details | Free verse | |

Time is Precious

Time is precious.
Not much time; before . . .

I leav home . . .  and . . . 

I'm out on my own.

My life has flown by my big open eyes.
Only two years before . . .

I leav home . . . and . . .

I'm out on my own.

Time is precious.
Don't take it for granted; because . . . 
Before you know it . . . 

                        
                    You're all alone.
                            Away from home.


Details | Free verse | |

Tear in My Heart

My mother never knew what to do with me.
I was an obligation that needed to be. 
But I wanted her to love me.
Simply… love… me.
I would do anything to please her.
Wanting her to be proud, I worked hard at everything I did.
But she viewed me as her competition, not wanting to be out done.
Needless to say our relationship wasn’t what I wanted it to be.
I dreamed to have a family of my own to simply… love… me. 
I had a daughter who didn’t live. 
And my mom said someone like me shouldn’t have kids.
Though she didn’t know about my epilepsy and other problems with my health.
Then my life fell apart with hard times everywhere.
I didn’t show it but hidden…my health wasn’t all that good.
My husband’s diabetes affected his mind. And epilepsy was working on mine.
I ignored that fact. I worked hard as my epilepsy kept tearing every thing apart.
Finally with a hard earned job… Fourteen years later I had a son. 
The son I’d always wanted to have.
I was so very proud but was attacked by both health and son, at every turn.
He was wilder than most creating problems everywhere.
He blamed me for everything and everywhere something went wrong.
My health did it again at work as my relationship continued to crumble with my son.
He hated a mother who had to work, had epilepsy, and just wasn’t there for him. 
I was slowly dying when he was 12 and I was 52, when finally I was saved.
That night… I met God and he said I had more to be done along the way.
I came back and did every thing I could to help my wayward and unruly son.
But way before I helped him go to college… I knew I had lost my son.
But his best friend needed a mom so I was there for him.
It seems so strange to tell, but as my son moved out… His best friend simply moved in.
And it’s even stranger to tell that… 
The son who will occasionally smile at me, is someone else’s son.
He’s my heart-adopted son and has brought my first son closer again.
Jesus was always here and… the tear in my heart is gone.


Details | Free verse | |

Rakes and Flames

As the dawn expells its authoritive cast; they awake, but are abandoned. They
turn--but their friend the sun ignores  and they understand.   They commune
their relationship and part with their memories;   and sigh.

They say their good-byes in a tone of fullfilment, but aface their anxieties
toward the skies for hope; but are denied. A clouded sky brings a chill in the 
air and a rustling of rakes and flames. 

Old as hell, written in HS for publication, circa 1971 by me. When I was young in the 60's in Ohio, we burned leaves in our backyard; sometimes our household trash too. You had to be me to be there GV. Count me in as last place. Take care.  


Details | Free verse | |

What I Want

The hope is far,
The pain is near.
The joy is gone,
Sorrow appears.
The warmth diminished,
Ice freezes from tears.
There you go,
Here I stay.
The best things are hard to get,
Yet the worst things in life come free to us.
Heaven's in paradise,
Hell is fear.
The goal is there,
But me, still here.


Details | Free verse | |

Pardon me, did you just

He poked me, he definitely just poked me

Who is this boy?

I'm facing him but he's turned away

Oh how cute he is

Again, he poked me again

Maybe he's flirting...

Perhaps I'm just crazy

But he definitely just poked me

Facing him again, our eyes meet

He isn't shy to hide his grin now

My cheeks flush crimson

So he is flirting.....

Why with me though?

This better not be a dream

I really hope this isn't a dream

But he is definitely dreamy oh my

Do I talk to him?

Poke

Alright, he asked for it

Fingers crossed

"Pardon me, did you just poke me?"

His pearly grin is back

He scoots closer

Success!




Details | Free verse | |

Do you like to see me cry

We wernt arguing,
I got a boyfriend,
and a wonderful boyfriend he is,
but then,
after a week of me being actually happy,
I guess you must have hated it,
Becasue again,
You went,
And ruined my life,
You started back up the arguments everyday,
Your making my life about homework and nothing else,
You yell at me about nothing.
Your never fair. 
Its like you love to see me cry.
Its like you hate to see my happy,
And you just love to see the pain..


Details | Free verse | |

8:15 To Freedom

Do you hear the train a'whistlin'?
I wonder where she's a'goin'.
Can she be boundin' toward freedom?
Well, there's freedom in Jesus!
And that's all we need!


Details | Free verse | |

My Worst

Hey dad,
please talk to me.
There's something I need to say.
I've realized something.
Just hear me out and you'll know I'm right.
I'll never be good enough for you.
I'll never meet your expectations.
And we're growing apart so fast
that I can barely tell what you want anymore.
All the things that you've said
hurt worse than you'll ever know.
And now we can't go back.
I'm sorry I can't be perfect.
But I'm always at my worst when I'm with you.
My mood so dark that I can't see.
You'll never understand how hard it is
and how bad it hurts to be me near you.


Details | Free verse | |

Summer Life as a Kid

Sweet Summer breeze
scraped n' bruise covered knees
sidewalk chalk marks on your jeans
torn clothes, worn as badges of Adventure
popsicle stained lips
secret crush kisses
Summer life as a kid
I truly miss it

Snatching fireflies from the skies
watching sunsets dashed with
cayenne pepper cotton candy
clouds
Sunnies nibbling toes
filled with stale bread from mom
kick the can, truth or dare, hide & go seek
mud pie smiles, warm chocolate chip cookies to eat
Summer life as a kid
I truly miss it

Grandmas sweet tea conversations on the porch
covert midnight campfires with friends
from spying little sisters
Ghost stories to tell, marshmallows to toast
climbing trees, fairy tale dreams
being the first one picked
for the kickball team
Summer life as a kid
I truly miss it


Details | Free verse | |

Boys and their Deceit

Why is life so hard?
Problems coming like a pack of cards!!
Family trouble, car trouble,
the worse is boy trouble.
Using their words as their swords.
They call you, they text you,
they say you're their babygirl?
But that's not true.
They say they love you,
from their brains, not their hearts.
Some boys are such a pain.
Why won't they go away?
They play with your heart,
then throw you away like dirt,
Why do we go through pain?
Because good boys are rare,
Bad boys cheat on you,
they break your heart.
But in the end,
 they want you back,
Why can't they leave me alone?
Because they think they're the best.
Like if, give me a break,
Boys are such a pain,
it is best to abstain.
           xxx


Details | Free verse | |

CIRCUS of HELL 666 Through Trying Times 7

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Free verse | |

Sore Loser

Can we make it in this world without athletic talent
Can we make it in this world with sensitivity
Can we make it in this world with a hot head
Can we make it in this world without a nice girl
Can we make it in this world with enemies
Can we make it in this world with lost friends
Can we make it in this world with pessimism
Can we make it in this world without enthusiasm
Can we make it in this world with scars of emotion
Can we make it in this world with poetic ambitions
I think we can
I think I can
Sore loser they call me

But I wanna prove them wrong




I wrote this poem because one of my classmates called me a sore loser (hence the title)
and the one thing I wanted to do is prove him wrong (Written on 10.12.10)


Details | Free verse | |

RIP Curfew

Thank you for being in my life,
to think you were only broken twice,
you taught me how not to be late,
and how to get my timing straight,
my mother made you and loved you too,
she stayed up at night to make sure you show true,
I'm not going to say I'm happy you're gone
but i do rue the day you were spawn 
now that I'm 18, you've done your job, 
I'm happy you will no longer make my heart throb,
with every minute that i am late,
made my life full of hate,
so thank you curfew, and thanks a lot,
now my own schedule will take your spot.


Details | Free verse | |

A WOMAN OF VIRTUE

For nine months
With love and pain
With joy and suffering
In her womb she carried me
A mother she is 
And a woman of virtue.

When there was no one, she was the only one
Even left alone, she never leaves me alone
Indeed, she’s a mother 
And a woman of virtue.

When toddling, she cared
And still directs when I could run
She is a mother of the child and the adult
In her thoughts are all, even the descendants to come
Many names will I call her; “A mother of all”
And a Woman of Virtue.


Details | Free verse | |

The Rat Race

As a child, I had much to do
Crushed it, when I tried to grew
Participant of the Rat Race, I am
Suddenly everything was scattered away

Now when I try to think of you
And calculate what went wrong
Where was my mind that day?
Why everything went so wrong?

After endless struggle, when I dream
Those equations , cry and scream
My demand curve went wrong way
And that was the end of everything 

The sweet little Tom & Jerry
still playing with no worries
Then my mind cries and says
those days are so far away

Every-time when I think of it
I think as I'm a liar and cheat
After this endless bargaining 
Life ends here.... Screaming


Details | Free verse | |

The Sweetest Thing

We sit back.
You wrap your arms around me
With our bodies pressed against each other
You plant kisses on my neck
So delicate, yet so intense...
This is where I want to be.

You explore my body, so gently.
Your touch leaves me breathless
Craving each and every part of you
But taking only what you will allow
Hoping you will give me your all...
This is the sweetest thing.


Details | Free verse | |

Cheaters

Why do people cheat??
because it makes them feel,
or look good among their peers?
No, they do it because they are stupid.
They don't care for the promises they make.
They are not faithful.
My ex-boyfriend was like that.
But the difference is,
he cheated on me,
with not just one girl,
but three girls!!!
Why would someone do,
something like that?
I cried for days when I found out.
I stopped talking to him.
It was hard,
but i did it.
Because i had to.
No one deserves to be treated like that.
This is a true story...
I have had a broken heart once,
he was my first boyfriend,
and I don't intend to go through it again...


Details | Free verse | |

The Power of Youth

With the weight of the world on our shoulders

we walk, heads held high

 

they don't really understand

the extreme power in which we posses

 

we live life under Their radar

all the while, holding them up

 

but no thanks come to us

just sneers and stereotypes

 

we are Not the casualties of society

just because we tread on the lines of what they consider "appropriate"

 

yet that is how they treat us

because they are Afraid

 

but I tell you

keep your heads held High

 

scoff right back at them

because you know how it will end

 

soon enough

we will rise to rule our own world

                          Our Own Way

We are the Youth

We are the Future

 

and they'll have to just suck it up and deal

when they see how much we are going to Change


Details | Free verse | |

Braid Hairs

Why are you so devilishly addicting?
I come back from you,
It looks like I'm on drugs:
High and drunk,
Out of my mind.
The demons inside us braid hairs
Until we're peaceful meadows apart,
Nuclear wars together.


Details | Free verse | |

A Blue Boy's Death Wish

A fragile mind breaks 
Wake upon the rock laden shores
A muffled heart begs to echo
Whispers lost among a velvet chamber

Dusk comes premature time and again
Dropping the curtain on an optimistic sunrise
If you never witness dawn
There is no tomorrow

Always the dreamer aches
Never awake to make real what he desires
The restless corpse walks blind
Dead ends seem fitting for one of the kind

Lost in the labyrinth of strangling vines
Love is the motive and the weapon
Taking root in throats dry from weeping
Sprouts of amnesia in place of smiles
A garden called heartbreak holds onlookers captive
The comfort takes hold, sets in the bones weary of searching
A plea for rest lands on deaf ears

The hollow boy tires of himself
The last request he will ever make
"End me"
Lost and tired
He wishes to be weak no more


Details | Free verse | |

Hollow Shell

I am a ghost, drifting aimlessly from place to place.

All will power is sucked out of me, like a black hole in my soul.

My two cents are worth nothing in this world.

I am merely hidden behind a mask,

Dodging this never-ending path of fun house mirrors.


The mental battle is relentless,

Creating illusions that deep down I know aren’t true.

A sham, a mock of my former self.

He is the force clutching me tightly,

Ceasing me from all aspects of reality.

He is anorexia.


Compared to him, I am weak.

I am worth nothing.

I resist his force to no avail,

Only to stumble and crumble once again.
 

Pointing fingers does no good.

Trust me, I’ve tried.

But no one is to blame.

Not family, not society, not myself.


Yet each day is a new beginning.

An opportunity to change.

An opportunity to prosper.

Along with an opportunity to fail and give in.


He is charismatic, 

Telling me I am helpless without him.

I trusted him, but no longer.
 
No longer will I obey.

No longer will I be defeated.

No longer will I surrender to his selfish commands.


When he presses me to give up,

Ambition cries, “Keep fighting.”

I struggle to my feet,

Longing for closure.


I fall short again,

Knowing if I strive to achieve,

I will.

Knowing if I aim to succeed,

I will.

Knowing if I risk failure, it could happen.

Yet without attempt, there is no prosperity.


I will not give in.

I will not back down.

I will not lose.

I will escape this war triumphant,

No matter the cost.


Details | Free verse | |

Playpen

They talk and talk
Running in circles
Trying to make sense
Of what they have, between the two of them.

They both have a lot of baggage, I suppose
Old wounds that haven’t entirely healed
Memories that tug at them when they indulge in reminiscence
Tears they have never shed, anger they have never expressed.

They are a bit like wary children,
Meeting for the first time across a playpen
Wanting to play, but cautious too
Awkward and shy, not sure what will happen
If he isn’t good at peek-a-boo
Doesn’t like to color the flowers pink and blue
And many such things which she likes to do.

Or worse yet, what if he is mean and a bully?
Pulls her pigtails and makes her cry
Destroys her drawing, draws a mustache on her pretty butterfly?
So she is cautious, and quiet as a mouse
Peering at him through her lashes, too shy to tell him to come close.

He, on the other hand, tries to look bored and impressive
And like he has done this a million times
Like he knows a lot, lot more than he actually does
The alphabet, the spelling of his name, songs and rhymes.

He has met girls before; and thought they were silly
Squealed too much, wore clothes that were too frilly.
This girl was no different; she wore a pink bow and carried a dumb doll
But there was something about her, which made him think girls weren’t so bad after all.

She, on the other hand, had never talked to a boy before
Nor had she ever wanted to
Boys were aliens to her, those loud sweaty things
Who eat their nose boogies, and always have something naughty to do.
But this boy, with his big floppy bunny ears;
Something in his voice and his laugh, too
Made her want to sit next to him, and pat his hand when he got a boo-boo.

So they sit, on far ends of the playpen, sneaking peeks at each other,
Making up their minds to ask the other to play together
And changing their minds the next instant-
Maybe it’s not a good idea to be so blatant.

Maybe they will become friends, before the bell rings, before the day is over
Or maybe they will be strangers forever.
However it turns out, they will be okay
Because that is children’s way-
They always end up finding someone with whom to play.

Neither of them knows how they feel about each other
Or if anything at all
All they know is that they want the other to stick about
At least long enough for them to figure it out.

So that is the story, of two grown-up children
Trying to make life happen
Reaching out for something that looks golden
But then again
Even if it they end up mistaken,
They’ll eventually find the right person
Somewhere in this big wide playpen.


Details | Free verse | |

A Peek Behind the Fence


Ignorance is a crime caused by putting up fences if we'd let go of the voices inside our heads and eliminate fears discussions would arise peel the blind folds from our eyes share real stories told without disguise encouraging progress could be made with concerns of what we've learned rather than what we are paid a fulfilling life is people based sharing giving looking out for others one human at a time despite our differences the truly rich way of living


Details | Free verse | |

Return To Dust

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

I'll See your face again
I swear it
No matter how far away they take you from me
Fading, Going Away, Don't be so afraid
Death is a Dream


The Cross Will Be lighter
Whisper the words
so sacred, so somber

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

A Fallen Angel looms over the lifeless stone
What Happened here must be true
I must live this life without you

Breaking the Silence
She began to Weep
The Epitaph ceasing to know 
We all must Return To Dust

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

The solitude is euphoric as an illusional clock
Of argentine fears swallow the last soul
Goodnight black rose of eternity
Goodnight dearest gothic phantom
Tonight The Earth consumes me




**Special Thanks To My Writing Partner Cayla Carr**


Details | Free verse | |

Sadness

A star's gaze burns forever bright.
Always searching, always searching
Always searching for the light, a light that burns forever even in the dead of night.

The crescent moon smiles as it watches us all sleep.
Always watching, always watching
Always watching for the dreamer, whose heart does midnight keep.

The wind it does blow gently searching for a lover's sigh.
Always seeking, always seeking
Always seeking for a broken hearted cry.

The darkness does call quietly, always searching for lost souls.
Always seeking, always seeking
Always seeking to give you a hand to hold.


Details | Free verse | |

Inspire

Inspire
Those around me Inspire me
My peers support me
Inspire me
To write this poetry
Love, Drugs, Funny
Or just random
It all comes from my heart
But without encouragement
From those around me
My poetry would be worthless
Every time i write a poem
I could write a million dollar masterpiece
But without inspiration
Encouragement, Support
From those around me
I'll be writing nothing
But wasteful work
Worth only enough
To buy me a skittle
That's why I rely on Whats around me
To get the wheel to turn


Details | Free verse | |

The fighting spirit

How do you settle a major fight with a friend??
I mean a best friend??
Imagine if you had a bff from your childhood days,
and one from your teenage days,
won't you want them to meet??
But what if it turns the friendships sour?
If they want to be together,
but you warn the girl of the past,
relationships of the boy..
What was I supposed to do,
if she didn't listen?
Now none of us are talking..
It is hard,
because we used to share everything together,
now it is just a memory,
etched in my mind,
forever and ever...
       xxx


Details | Free verse | |

Incomplete

Through roaming hills, and blistering winds
my spirit lay somewhere between.
Oh someone point him out to me, 
I desire to hear my soul sing

For at first he left, I did not notice
my emotions to mangled in muck
but I feel my heart fall short
and my body just want to give up

I call to him through the wind in the night
but no reply is heard in the breeze.
I shout his name from dawn to dusk
But only a echo replies in the trees

Forgive me! I cry, I desire you now
that my heart is darken and numb.
For I gladly give up this emotionless feast
to live my life wondering the streets
forsaking the world and all of its treats
to live with my spirit as a bum


Details | Free verse | |

Hateful Words

                                                  HATEFUL WORDS

Do you have any idea how much hateful words hurt those you’re spewing them out to?

If you are a bully who uses them, you need to know they hurt deeply and could scar a kid for life.  Is that what you really want to do?

It may seem like innocent fun when you’re bullying other kids.  It’s not!  If you keep doing it, your life’s going to be nothing but a gigantic flop.

If you are a bully, because of the negative impact you can have on another kid, you must immediately stop!

I once thought bullying was cool, too, so I would say hateful words to other kids just to see how they would react.

I would say hateful words to their face.  I would say them behind their back.

Then, out of nowhere, I heard the same kind of hateful words, meant for me.

I didn’t like it a bit; in fact I was hurt and angry as can be.

So, I immediately stopped using hateful words.  I’m so glad I did.

No one deserves to hear hateful words, especially coming from another kid.

	   Al Johnson


Details | Free verse | |

You Are My Best Friend

Yes, you are my best friend,
and I'll never feel lost again.
You magnify my heart and soul.
You keep my love alive.
You magnify my life.
If only I lived for today,
I know I will be okay.
You are my amazing grace.
My spirit is healed,
and my hands can now feel.
I'm alive.
Yes, you are my best friend,
and I'll never feel lost again.
You magnify me,
and open my eyes where I could see,
gave my first breath so I can breathe.
I'm magnified.
I'm alive.


God is my best friend.


Details | Free verse | |

Draconian I

[The Cypress Is In Bloom]
The cypress is in bloom
I see the evil, the efflorescence of decadent doom
Eloigning, with thy clandestines of the Dead September's reign
My belovéd Penelope, abscond from the coven so deep, the glades of misery
We must face her in the grove, for arcany, the path we must take
She's in my mind, vaporously,
Lauding with my, dangers and fears
Lie, with ephermelcy's broken truths
Leading me go Cypress, Marigold
Immortally, willows, forevermore
Forevermore

[To Question; To Know]
My argentine silence, your only condonicy 
Ends with such eath
The Mockingbird in me--died
Resting in one ounce, an abundance of shame
With an infinity of joy
Exiled, by the ones, who give all, names
My breath starves for only more
The façade, the veil, the austerity dims with Aquarianlore 
She falls to her knees, why for?
Celandine she will be
Celandine is she

[Bead]
The lair within, free from their causalities of their sins
Shadowy primroses begin to grow, the season will never end
In there I dream to be like you, violet blue, White Flower of Lisieux,
La Fleur Blanche du Lisieux,
So Celandine are you
Celandine are you

[Draconian]
Draconian--Reach for the shadows within
Draconian--Break from The Fallen's Sin
Draconian--Their Empirical lies, only die
Draconian--Reach The Shadows Within


Details | Free verse | |

Trustful relationships

If a relationship is based on trust then why trust people
what is the point in a relationship if it isn't centered on trust
I guess there is no point 
I guess the relationship isn't worth being in 
Love is filled with trust so trust should be filled in the relationship
Trust is happiness in a little heart-shaped box
a box that should always be open
and cherished for the fact that it is able to be used 
this is trust on many levels of love


Details | Free verse | |

Mom, I'm pregnant

         Mom, I'm pregnant
Mom, I can't forget how i was born
Came from a lovely couple as yours
sixteen years ago, I was a love result
every action marries with a reaction
Now, I'm facing my reaction sadly
 
Mom, I was blind by my love 
I listened to his mouth without tasting it
I looked through his eyes but not his heart
I believed in his words, his caresses
I got caught in his sweet romantic lies

Mom, I gave my sixteen years to him   
I wanted to enjoy the feeling of love
I couldn't wait, he took my virginity
Some mistakes can't be erase mom
he left me with a nine month gift paper

Mom, I'm pregnant, I'm losing my shape
I'm losing personality, my sweet life is gone
Now, all my time is stole by an innocent
Can I be able envelop him by affection???
The word 'Ready' is totally out of my path


Details | Free verse | |

Am I Still Forgiven

I did it again; I need forgiven.
Will He still forgive me even though I've fallen before?
I've fallen into these same sins countless times before;
I still haven't learned my lesson.
I am an ignorant hypocrite.
Am I still forgiven?


Details | Free verse | |

Returned To The Source

There was no mention of your name, yet, it matters not Watching as your body laid broken, when they took you away Felt a stab in my heart; as tears rolled down my face And my mind ran to your Mom, probably making dinner plans As the story of your final moments began to unfold Another young life stolen in a most horrific way! Not through any fault of yours; nor by God’s design This creature from the deep mistook you for prey So much faster and stronger, it simply overpowered you So sleep now, little one- nineteen years is what you had I’m sure your task was completed; your forever now begins Never again to be snatched away by man nor beast I pray your family finds comfort in one ultimate truth The light which was within you has returned to the Source! *Note: For the 19 Year old who lost his life today in CA...+RIP
10/22/10


Details | Free verse | |

Best Friend

She said that we were drifting apart.
But I feel that we were close from the start
My heart was torn out from deep within
She said I had changed from what I had been

I didn’t know what to say
We used to talk every day.
Now that things had changed
I felt that I had gone deranged

Dear friend, the one who was the best
Why have you left me alone with the rest?


Details | Free verse | |

How I feel when you promise something

I'm not good for you. 
Broken and unworthy. 
You keep me around and I cannot figure out why. 
You are so amazing, so lively, and so different than I. 

I want to be loved by you. 
I want to hold you. 
But I see you there so happy and so care free... 
It will just hurt you to know the person hidden within. 

The real me. 
Not the smiles you see when we speak. 
Not the laughter we share...
But me. 

A lonely child, with fear in her eyes. 
Scared of the world she was born into and scared of the future she might have if she loses you. 
Do you still want me, knowing the little I have said so far? 
I close my eyes wishing you were here... 

But we all know that is a wish that will never come true... 
And it is okay... 
It is nothing new. 
To me at least it is something I feel each day. 
Wanting what is not in reach... 
Wanting for you to be with me.


Details | Free verse | |

The Drone

 You use it every day.
 It is a basic part of life now.
 Maybe it’s the flicker of the radio
 Or the buzz of a computer.
 It is used every day to make our lives simpler and less stressful. 
 Is it really helping us though?
 It does make our life simpler
 But is this a downward spiral into emotionless and effortless life?
 A life where instead of real soldiers with real emotions
 are sent to fight,
 A drone controlled by someone at a computer is used to kill innocent civilians. 
 The drone is emotionless.
 No compassion for other beings and no feeling of guilt or regret.
 This is the future,
 an emotionless drone controlled by someone at a computer. 


Details | Free verse | |

A Sinner Like Me

I'm a mess.
I've ruined this body You've designed;
I've ruined this heart You've shined;
I've ruined this breath You've shared;
I've ruined this life You've cared.
I've demolished this freedom You've given,
Yet You give it to me again.
Time and time around I have failed You;
Weak and falling trying to please You.
Earning I cannot for this is a gift from You.
Please forgive me;
Please save me:
You've picked me up and brushed me off;
Thank You for redeeming me.
Thank You for redeeming a sinner like me.
I have fallen once again.
I'm a mess,
But You forgive me.
You save me
Time and time around,
Eternally,
You brush me off and pick me up.
Thank You for redeeming me.
Thank You for redeeming a sinner like me.


Details | Free verse | |

Vicissitude

It wasn't quick
but it seemed to happen so.
The indecisive thoughts soon became quite clear,
but not exactly as crystal would be.
It's easy to see
why it could be frowned upon;
many have ended hurt,
scarred,
and even put to eternal rest.
However, she was undaunted;
she knew her misconceptions could only be 
beneficial.
A swift turn and a venturesome soul
shaped her into a beautiful love song,
a hysterical vision of black and blue.
Throughout the tough goings
and a shattered lullaby or two,
she settled, though erratic,
into a breathtaking work of art
made of misfortunes and lust.
"Change has come and left,
but it shall never be truly gone,"
She cried in her lucid dreams
of the present.


Details | Free verse | |

A Sad Time

Its a sad time for me.
Covered from head to toe in insecurities.
All I do is try and cover for my mistakes.
My misjudgments.
My displacement...
But what about those times of joy?
Gone within a blink of an eye.
It seems that my world would be one of pity.
but no its not pity more like a self hatred that runs deep.
It covers my heart with hard lace and frosted glass.
Covering me in something for show.
I used to glow.
Like a bright light.
That was also just for show. 
A lie filled to the brink.
dishonest and out of synch.
Thats my story for now.
Im just a show and a sad story.
A sad time.


Details | Free verse | |

Movie Night

Popcorn popped and pop standing by your side just waiting to be devoured,
Your mate is putting in the DVD while you are waiting to watch it.

Candy and other sweets sitting on your other side already open waiting for there time,
The couch is soft and comfortable packed love and patience. 

Your mate puts the movie on and comes to join you,
he puts his arm around you.

You snuggle up to him and smile,
you eat your sweets like a child.

You both get into the movie and even cry together,
you wipe his tears away and he wipes your and says, "I hope this is forever".

You smile back at him and give him a peck on the cheek,
he takes the remote and turn he movie off and takes you to the sheets.


Details | Free verse | |

Tell me

Are we meant to be?
Or is it just a dream?
You & I
Are we meant for love?
Are we ready to say I do?
You & I
I'm just not sure If I'm ready.
Are we ready to say I do?
Or say good-bye?
You & I
I'm just not sure whether to go back?
Or keep marching forward?
Without you
Don't know whether these are my directions.
Give me time to think.
If you can't wait, move on.
Just you.
Know I can't be without you.


Details | Free verse | |

Ignorance meets Insanity

Seriousness settles in, like an old friend
Seriousness spreads like a disease
Infecting us, accelerating, our aging process 
Our youthfulness, our playfulness, slowly slipping away
Our wonder in life, diminishing
Seriousness leading to rigidness, pathway to small mindedness!

Days and years, rolling into one
Colourless, lifeless, mundane, dull and boring
“What day is it?”
“Don’t smile or your face might crack!”
Judgemental, cantankerous!
Pompous attitudes, of modern day man

Stubbornness and ignorance, clinging to what’s familiar
Seriousness, up tightness, humourless, imagination vanished, pathway to madness!
The mind focused on its self created drama’s
Fears constantly being stimulated, from our outside world
Personal insecurities, constantly being triggered, inside
The past lives on, the present forgotten 
What was once important, now, left on the back burner
Hard headed, victim orientated
Righteous, self absorbed
Emptiness, hollowness, helplessness

Seriousness and ignorance, walk hand in hand
Becoming, our best friends
The vampire suckers of vitality
Sucking the life, out of our personal goals and childhood dreams
Lose of faith, gradually, losing our way
Lost, amongst the thick of it
Not knowing any different
Everything becoming an illusion
Seeing things as it should be
In our own little universe, no one else’s!

Entrapment of the mind
Our, personal intelligence, laying dormant
Body and mind, riddled with dis - ease
Heart beating hard, starving for a substance, we call love
Numb, to the outside
Numb, on the inside
Desensitized!
Going crazy!
Consumed with our own self created loneliness and separation
Ignorance meets insanity!


Details | Free verse | |

For a friend in pain

you're a silent person inside, that i know..
so a single insult or pain would pose a great blow..
When in pain close your eyes and drift..
think of of happiness and joy, that would give you a lift..

Anger and grieve, please don't let it rust..
In your heart don't let it last..

know that jokes come and go..
sometimes jokes go far beyond "tolerable"
so when hit in the heart so hard,
stay with your guard..
Maybe tomorrow's a better joke..
maybe tomorrow's your day..

Because every "tomorrow", we change, we grow, we love more and joke more..

Sorry for today..

We had to see those sad, sad, eyes..


Details | Free verse | |

You're My Plague

You plague me with your sweltering disease My heart throbs in unease You carry me off to a far-off island Your breeze keeps me flowin’…scraping sand Your names escapes my lips I tell myself, “Get a grip, dude…” But you decided to intrude... My blood drips to the floor I’ve been losing balance… The instant you pushed me aside Your quietude devours me… I can’t help, but hide… I feel horribly disheartened…feelin’ too insignificant To start my day with a good note Too discouraged to be motivated to run… You trade me your pain in the past I consume it like a bear My stomach is churning persistently…you’re running too fast… I’m dowsed in despair My eyes stare vacantly…into space…they roam happily Your vigilance keeps me safe and sound…I dwell in your tranquility Your dreams caress my own… This intriguing comfort never makes me feel alone I’m under your dazzlin’ spell… This is heaven – not living hell! I’ve been bruising myself over you…for a while now The moment you abandoned me that night… Your rejoicing mends my gash…heals my mind… I think better of you – everything’s black and white I feel so exquisite when I’m around you… So inspired to reveal my might…just shine your light On me…and remember to meet me at sun rise… But I still feel malnourished… By your sweltering disease My heart refuses to beat in perfect rhythm – my high hopes nearly perished By your forceful breeze…pushing me on my knees I’m stumbling off my feet – I’m not at all pleased I’m not in the mood to be teased… I’m suffering…I’m not discreet How did you push me off my feet? Why do you make ME feel so damn miserable and incomplete? You plague me with your sweltering disease My heart pounds as I fall upon my blood-stained knees You carry me away to an unknown place Your voice still rings in my ears… I glance at your admirable face I’ve faced you way too many times – Your sparkling with majestic brilliance and pure grace


Details | Free verse | |

Soul Beat

Run into my heart;
Run right into my arms.
I will never let you go;
I am yours forever, please know.
You make my soul beat;
You bring me back to life.
God, thank You for this love;
God, thank You for this life.


Details | Free verse | |

Another victim falls

Savage romance
 And bloody passion
  Another victim falls
    Before the terrible temptation
      Demonic desire
       And abhorrent attraction 
        Another victim falls
          Before an iniquitous instant
                      

One more tally
Etched in her bedframe
A pile of bones
To pick her teeth

             Manson eyes
              And a Hannibal Smile
               Another victim falls
                To the serial seductress
                 Impaling interest
                 And strangling sex
                  Another victim falls
                   To a murderous mistress



Details | Free verse | |

ROSES FOR PD

Weeping Rose


Black is her color,
The empty space where her heart use to be.
Weeping in pain,
Pain for the ones who hurt her.

Torn are her thorns,
The thorns that tightly held onto him.
Fragile is the rose,
The rose you just destroyed.





By.Michael Deas

Dedicated to Destroyer


Details | Free verse | |

My Mask

It hurts all the time
This pain in me never stops
I want to cry for you
I want to scream for you
I want to beg for you
I want you to be here
This cant be fair
This cant be real

But I smile and I laugh
I get up every morning to go to work
Throw on a happy face and make some jokes
I come home and enjoy my day
I have fun
And I continue on
But I’m so hurt
I’m so lost

Seeing you in there killed me
I could never get the phone call out my head
The screams from my mom
The walk up there to see if it was true
But most of all I wont forget you
In the casket
Touching your hand
You were so cold
You didn’t belong there
Seeing you go into the ground
Seeing them fall apart
Feeling my heart break into pieces
When all I could do is scream
I will never forget that day

And every time I smile I want to cry
Every time I laugh I want to cry
Every time I think I want to cry
Every breath I take takes a little bit out of me
Because I want to cry

I want this to not be real
I want to had spend more time with you
I want to hug you
Laugh with you 
Tell you I love you
That I was always there
That I am still always here

I am so broken
But I continue on with life

Because God took you and not me
He wanted me here for a reason
So ill continue on for
You
I will laugh
And smile
And pretend
Anything to make it to the end
To see you

I miss you just isn’t enough
It doesn’t mean enough


What heals a broken heart?
Time they say

But time wont bring you back
So my heart stays broken
As I pretend to smile

I miss you
I miss you
I miss you


As I’m falling apart

My mask then goes on



RIP Bebo... 17 was to young


Details | Free verse | |

Glow

Stars shine brightly above me as I look up at the glowing full moon.
A cool breeze is blowing and
A soft music seems to play in the air around me as
I think of what life has given me.

This gift is more than I could have brought myself to ask for.
For the longest time I've been content to be there for others
Ignoring the fact that as I helped my friends find happiness, I have been alone.
Now I find that Life has given me a gift. A thing so precious that never again could I go
through life without it.

Life has given me you.
You, Suki, have become my life force. The very thing that keeps me going.
I love you with everything I have. Granted, it isn't much, but I promise you that it wont
be missed. I'll love you enough to make up for the materialistic things that I don't have.

The moon blurs as tears fill my eyes and I start glowing as bright as the shining full
moon above me and
I find that the music I hear around me that is so heartbreaking-ly beautiful isn't in the air.
It's inside me.
 
I never have to be alone again.
Never do I have to bottle things up for the sake of other people because I know I have
someone who wants nothing more than to have me cry on his shoulder.
I love him
And to the very core of my being I know he loves me.

Life has given me something I never dared to let myself dream of having.

Life has given me Suki.


Details | Free verse | |

Valentine's Day

A Valentine's Day dedication for those who have lost a loved one.



I know you're watching from far away.
So I'll find the strength to kneel and pray,
and send you our love this Valentine's Day.
God gives me the power to understand,
that we can no longer hold your hand.
The sands of time pass graciously,
until we meet for eternity.
My unconditional emotion has no end.
Like the flowers in the spring and your spirit in the wind.
My hands are empty without you to hold.
My soul cries out alone in the cold.
My tears still fall and I wipe them away.
God gave me the strength to kneel and pray,
and send you our love this Valentine's Day.


Details | Free verse | |

The New God

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart beats out of your chest
Ready to consume the final climax
I know who you are - when the lyrics fail to resemble
Letting your poison drip straight from your lips
Portraying, entertaining the image of sex's delusion
You know only rape - manifestation of hate
Lack of the fruit of the beauty of a human mind
Depths you'll never penetrate!

She was only a doll - type of a lost father's adore
Impaled into a desperate whore
Shamefully out of broken safety's  choice 
She bore embryogenesis of morose
May your rusty blades caress as they please

So confront the masses with the halt of embryogenesis
Let the worship of machines be
Leg them construct us cell to cell
Nature's just in the way
Of our race of perfectly engineered machines!
The burden of conception
Surrenders to the will of
The New God
   


Details | Free verse | |

Supernova girls

Pretty girls don't have to hide 
Scars with sweaters and lies. 
They don't have to cover up 
How ugly they feel inside. 
And lovely girls are not afraid 
Of the demons inside their mind. 
Normal girls don't cry at night 
And think of such monstrous things. 
And other girls don't have to smile
just to cover up their pain. 
Nice girls do not screw up 
And feel worse than they did in the first place. 
You may say that I'm lovely, or nice, or pretty. 
And you will see a broken smile shy upon my face. 
And at first you may think that I am actually okay. 
Until you get a closer look, and you notice 
The light in my eyes, is fading away.
I used to be one of those girls.. 
But I have been hardened. I have been changed. 
The innocence has gone and the darkness reigns. 
Years ago my bright eyes drowned 
Into solitary oceans of fear.. 
So don't mind my teary eyes
Thre next time you whisper those
Sweet nothings into my ear..


Details | Free verse | |

Refusing To Listen

Everyone telling me where to go:
Turn left,
Turn right.
I don't even know who to listen to anymore;
I don't even know who I am anymore.
God, please speak to me
And tell me where to go
And show me what to do
Because Your voice is drowning out in the madness
Or maybe I am just refusing to listen.


Details | Free verse | |

This is Who I Am

I am me; and I know there are going to be people who do not like me

But I can not change the way the feel about me and I'm okay with that

Why change them, when I wouldn't want them to change me?

They are who they are, and I am who I am

This is who I am: I am Emily, a person that tries very hard not to judge people

This is who I am: I am Emily, I will be anyones friend; It does not matter what they did

It matters that you take them in your arms and hold them and tell them your here for them

Even if they walk away, it matterd that you showed them you cared


Details | Free verse | |

I am Unbreakable

Breaking down with every step I take
The world is shaking beneath my feet.
The Pressure is rising
And I am fighting with everything inside of me,
To hold my breath and fight these tears.
I won’t let you break me!
No, Not this time!
I haven’t felt this bad in so long,
It’s like hearing new lyrics to an old song
It sounds so different, so wrong.
You are the weight sitting on my shoulders
Threatening to break my back.
But I won’t fall victim to this!
My heart is strong!
And my mind is not weak!
And the world is still shaking beneath my feet.
I haven’t stood on solid ground since the day I was born,
But that still doesn’t make you better than me!
I will stand tall, I will not fall.
I will stay true.
I am unbreakable!


Details | Free verse | |

Everything and Nothing

She loved the way the salty air 
kissed her rosy cheeks,
She loved the way the warm 
blankets kept her safe,
She loved the feeling of the 
soapy bubbles against her skin,
She loved the sky just before 
sunset,
The sound of the crickets as 
they chirped around her,
The water rippling as she 
kicked her feet in the puddle,
Her family,
Her friends,
The boy who would never know 
she existed.
The boy who would never know 
what she loved
Because even though she loved 
a lot of things,
She couldn't love herself.


Details | Free verse | |

Baked Chicken and Questions

Baked chicken, mashed potatoes and frozen green peas.
Geometry, pep rally, and Lisa in the hallway.
How was the test? Did you say hello?
Who did you sit with? Are you going to the game?
The chicken is dry, but I’m chewing it over
And the mashed potatoes are my favorite food.
You’ll be fine, it’s easy, why don’t you call Cathy?
Leave the table to get more tea and napkins,
Refill Dad’s glass while you’re over there, please.
I got an A on my paper about reincarnation.
That’s great! What? You don’t believe that.
Peas slide off my fork and my little brother laughs
Don’t say that. Don’t do that. (southern politeness)
And please pass the potatoes over to your brother.
Some other doctor’s daughter is having a party.
You know she’ll invite you. I guess I’ll go.
I want to go really, but I want to be wanted.
Like my mother, so popular. But I don’t have the words.
Ms. Romeo picked my poem to be in the paper.
You aren’t wearing your contacts. I was late this morning.
Can I please be excused? My room is my safety
No eyes and no voices, no phone calls at all.
Southern politeness is served up each evening
Along with the questions, baked chicken, and peas.


Details | Free verse | |

Owl and Suicide-2

Owl  and  suicide 

A ripped-apart sliver of a day
Giving away the dreaded leeway
To do in a  teen  set to careen

A  cocky cocktail  of a commonplace pang,
An atavistic abandon, a moth-eaten
Rafter and a wrong rope .

 A screwed-up judgement. Sermon of end 
Wins over the stupidity of beginning
Against the shy remonstrance of life.

“O, this time it was for that boy, not me,
The sudden  owl- howl   at the dead of night”
The old man said in obvious relief.

*The  belief that the  hoot of an owl at the dead of night foretells a death in the vicinity was proved right when a teen aged boy in my place committed suicide following two nights in which an owl unusually cried.
S.Jagathsimhan Nair
Form: Freeverse
15 Mar 13


Details | Free verse | |

The One For Eternity And Beyond

I don't know whether I'm in love with her,
Or am I just trying to free myself from being alone, 
I don't want to see her cry, 
I can't even imagine a world without her smile

Is she the One, 
Or is this just another obstacle, 
I don't mind ,
Because nothing's keeping me from her

I see bliss in her eyes, 
And I see her in my future, 
I think this it, 
The truest form of love

May the Master of All Things Himself guide me, 
I beg of You to make me see,
Whether what I'm feeling is true or not,
Or whether I'm just afraid to be alone

Solitude has never bothered me ,
But now I see her and think of it, 
I will lose a long time friend, 
Yes , I will throw away anything for her

For heaven's sake I'd lose everything for this girl, 
She's the bliss I feel every morning,
I see her as a reason for my existence, 
The purest flower in all the fields

I love her, 
And I don't fear love anymore, 
I'm willing to be hers,
If she's willing to be mine

For an eternity I wish to keep her, 
For her I will give her all the stars in the sky,
I love her and I will care for her, 
For all of eternity and beyond.


Details | Free verse | |

he compared my smile to a sun

Kiss me until the stitches on my heart dissolve, 
and I forget what it feels like to breathe without lungs.
Touch my skin until your fingertips warm my muscles,
and help my blood run smoothly
Your apartment is cold, but your eyes are colder;
emptier too.
Your hands held nothing but bad intentions, not even my own
and as you tossed and turned in-between worn sheets,
so did my mind.
get me out of this bed
give me back my clothes
get out of my head
I know your moves before you make them
your hands, up my thighs
whisper sweet nothings into my ear
bittersweet lies to help pass the time
before the sun splashes into your room in-between the blinds,
reminding me once again
you cannot make a home out of a human.


Details | Free verse | |

Robin

So astonished
Was I when I saw you,
From my safe little corner across
The room,
Behind the glass like all the pastries
That were available to me
Not barred by the displays indeed,
I watch you move.

The indulgence of the moment,
I take in your design
That blaze of robin eggshell blue,
That coating which enhances
Your fair and flawless skin
Illuminates your heart-shaped face
And calls the angels, if they
Prove to be,
To cast a dancing beam inside
Your eyes
And wings cushion your  feet
With unbroken grace on which you
Walk
So when you go, at least you glide

But your flight reveals the 
Chocolate locks,
The cake in and of itself
That frames the floured face
And beaming eyes
That cake, so rich and moist
Tied up high like a curtain
Left unchecked, still beautiful
Would drown

All these things, I observe
In a minute or less
And as I stand to go
(Not on angel's wings, unluckily)
I take my one final glance
At the baker's pride
And joy,
Satisfied at last when I do
Beholding such sleek art
In your chocolate-veiled 
Neck tattoo 


Details | Free verse | |

Insane Design

Don’t know him at all, not really
Nor how I feel about him, actually
But that’s alright, 
A snippet of laughter, maybe a moment or two
Isn’t that enough?
Isn’t that just about enough, for now?

I can be all optimistic,
And feel that he is someone I can trust someday,
But what good will it do me today?

Or, I can be a pessimist,
And fear he might turn out to be a monster,
Hurt me in new ways; make me feel like a fool someday.
But what good, pray tell, will it do me today?

Maybe I should just be philosophical,
And believe that we cross paths with people for a reason
It’s part of some great insane design
So I should sit back,
Wait, watch how the planets align.

Quite possible, that this is nothing, really
Something that doesn’t hold any meaning, actually.
Someone who will become less than a faint memory someday.
Though what good indeed, will it do me today?

Maybe I think too much, 
Assign meanings, interpretations to things which have none,
Mistake for reality the stories I have myself spun.
Maybe I should just try and have fun
Isn’t that enough?
Isn’t that just about enough, for now?


Details | Free verse | |

The Student

 The Student     
 
 
Author Message 
Admin
Admin



Age : 53
Joined : 13 Jun 2007
Posts : 665

 Subject: The Student   Today at 14:54      

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
The Student


He is tall and short both blonde and impish brown his hair is black his eyes are 
round his limp is quite pronounced his wheelchair rolls his limousine awaits his 
bicycle locked near the skateboard of hate four feet long the thing weighs a ton 
he uses it to scare old ladies and nuns his eyes are narrow eyes are wide eyes 
are fried from his drugs and his fellows jostle his arm to lift it up elbow first 
draining his glass mark the sot they closed all the bars at one am in the day at 
five he is building his clamato hooray and at sunrise he slumbers away and then 
rises at nine in the night to go out the door and avoid the sunlight he is living the 
life of alcoholic delights he sits in the library no classes avoids he has no 
teachers rules no principles he is god the student annoys. 
 
           
 
 
 The Student 
 


Details | Free verse | |

Your Portrait of Me

What lies hidden beneath that gaze? I look upon my canvas, and see what is portrayed. A completely altered, grotesque image painted in a craze I look upon the artist and am betrayed. I hold my photograph next to this doppelgänger falsified, I sense the calamity closing in to see this vague reflection, into stone, petrified then I see that people confirm that mirage, uglier than sin. Don't you remember who you saw yesterday? Why is it so easy to fall into line and agree? The mob mentality condemning, all on one's say. Take your own look, for I am not that monstrosity. Actions speak louder than words? Nay. Words speak twice as loud, and reach thrice more. They paint a picture not nearly true. Nay, These rumors are artists entirely of false lore. your images damage, conquer, and maim. I tire of your insignificant game. I want my image on the canvas to be the same As my photo. Not this caricature that brings me this shame...


Details | Free verse | |

Kiss Me

Kiss me
And tell me you love me
Fool me
But please don't break me
Hug me
Allow me to feel
Feel your heartbeat
Beat faster with just a single touch
Kiss me
And linger there
Fool me
But sooner or later you'll get rid of me
Hold me 
And be the one I'll always run to
Kiss me
Because in the end I know you'll miss me


Details | Free verse | |

The Trial of the Brazen Boy

Inconsiderate Brazen Boy 
Who knows not what good to do
You forget your manners
Respectful to none but those with a gun
And thus having broken all the rules
Inconsiderate Brazen Boy 
Who in spite of a good mother’s love
Shows no kindness, sympathy, nor compassion
You follow not the Golden Rule she taught
But seek only ill-gotten crimes of passion
Inconsiderate Brazen Boy 
Thy callused heart strings untuned
What innocence is left with in your breast
What values have you for those that adored you
Having their hope replaced by your dope
Is this the life you envisioned
Inconsiderate Brazen Boy 
Your once good name now vulgar
Your pants hang low so your butt can show
And you believe it’s sexy
Inconsiderate Brazen Boy 
Death and violence amidst your comrades 
Will bring about your destruction 
Thy family of gang which kill, cheat, and steal
You lay still in a red pool of clay as they mock you
Inconsiderate Brazen Boy
Stand before thy creator
For your life for right you tossed for the left
Only now do you weep for the Savior


Details | Free verse | |

Drugs should be experienced, but sobriety should be most glorified

Eat shrooms til everythings pretty, pop molls til your caring and witty.
Smoke trees til your chill as the breeze, and drink to forget what you need.
Do all the trippys to think like the hippie, make sure your an expert and not be so picky.
Just let me know when your drug trip is over, so I can tell you how you are when your sober


Details | Free verse | |

That's The Amazing Thing About Love

That's the amazing thing about love:
Love doesn't matter who it melts together,
'Cause He will never give you up.


Details | Free verse | |

Courage

Courage animates us
Brings us to life
Makes everything possible
Yet, courage is the rarest quality in the human person

Courage is the absence of fear
Fear paralyses the human spirit
Courage is the capacity never to be afraid
Courage is the fear that has said its prayers

Courage is required by practicing courage

Anything is possible
Whatever your dream is
Make it happen

Have courage
Start today
Amazed what life gives you
In return for a bit of courage

10102014


Details | Free verse | |

Longing For Love

Brushed with emotion
she cradles her womb
...unknowing...

her heart...anxious 
desperate
to
expose
her secret...

she cries endless tears...

in bitter sweet moments
passing
slow,
her baggy clothes
no longer
can hide the truth...

her courage must now spill out in word...

a child herself

now a mother

torn...
______________________
CONTEST "Mom, I'm Pregnant" 

Thirty-four percent of young women become pregnant at least once before they 
reach the age of 20 -- about 820,000 a year. Eight in ten of these teen pregnancies 
are unintended and 79 percent are to unmarried teens. 



Details | Free verse | |

Will I Survive

You hurt me You broke me You might as well have killed me Will I survive After you Tortured my heart Played with my feelings Will I survive After you dumped me Like I was a bag of trash After you told me I was useless Will I survive After I gave you all the love I had in me After I gave you my all Will I survive


Details | Free verse | |

Down but not out

I rise from my bed, 
body aching and cracking.
They say I'm too young to feel this way.
But I do.
They are unaware of the jabs and low blows
that life has thrown at me.
"Keep fighting."
I tell myself as I limp over to the coffee pot.
I chug a cup and gain my composure
before hearing the words, "round 6918"
and the ding of the bell.
I walk out of my apartment swinging, 
hoping to hit a sweet spot.

(6918 is the number of days I've been alive.)


Details | Free verse | |

Dear Advice Girl.

Everyone sees me as the look-to girl.
You need advice?
I tell you what you need to do.
You need to feel better?
I feed you with compliments.
They come to me with questions,
I reply with some answers.
I wish i had my own look-to girl.
I need some advice.
I need to feel better.
I need some answers.
Am i selfish,
Or am i just wanting to be acknowledged?
I can never tell,
Can you?


Details | Free verse | |

My Dark Feelings

This feeling, I hate it.
How it claws at me,
Like caged beasts in my chest.
Roaring to life at random,
Spontanious moments.
Feels like my heart is 
hardening, 
Turning to stone.
I cannot control these 
emotional outbursts!
These rabid truculent internal 
fits,
How they seem to come fast,
Then agonizing me as it fades.
With these thoughts I am a 
hapless soul,
How the words eat me alive,
Slowly drain me of my stability.
How they manifest in my brain 
is of human instinct,
A bare, raw, animalistic 
instinct.
I want, crave for my flesh and 
blood,
But i cannot have what I want,
For society wouldn't accept it.


Details | Free verse | |

Godly teaching inspiration in the iY generation

It is so hard in this day and age of blurred lines, wrecking balls and falling trees  to challenge students to see the right side of things,
The way Jesus made others see.  
He who is without sin throws the first stone,  
Two people who owe a debt are forgiven  
Which one is more grateful? 
The one owed the small debt or the large debt? 
Side note, math word problems have always baffled me and even though I read through this parable to find the answer, I am still confused, but I showed my work so that counts for something right?  
Jesus’ parables are such a great outline on how to present something to this x or z or gf, btw generation. 
If we post it on twitter they might just retweet it and believe it.  
Btw when you label someone they will begin to act in the way that they have been labeled.  
If we aren't getting kids to smell what Dr. O is cooking aka blowing up, then it is our fault.  
Jesus was able to take the most difficult people of his day and get them to see what was up! 
But you say he had God on his side, so do we*Romans 8:31 
But he was the son of God, we are also the children of God* Galatians 3:26-27 
Feel free to chime in with excuses; we can post those on twitter too, #lame.  
Sure we are going to get played more than FIFA 14 and Flappy Bird.  
But it’s like they say in Baseball and softball, it only takes one.  
And for us it is that one sheep we are responsible for* Luke 15:1-7 
Your sheep may be bigger than others, but the Lord has placed that sheep in your flock for a reason.  
We are empowered by a God that split the Red Sea, 
Saved people from fire 
Had the courage to sacrifice his only Son for our salvation 
So grab your canes aka iPads and do better than meeting the black eyed peas halfway.  
Go get you a Sheep!!


Details | Free verse | |

'Be Yourself'

One girl, one mind
She grabs one costume
And another and another.

Anything to hide away,
Safe from the world
The cruel, cruel world.

Take out the make-up 
Put it on and don't go on stage;
She is afraid of the cruel, cruel words.

The words 'Be Yourself' surrounded her
She shed the costume and make-up,
And that has made all the difference.


Details | Free verse | |

I LOVE YOU

A popular sentence
To guys who want to get laid
A popular language
To ladies who don't want to let go
A popular saying
Which has lost the power behind it
Yet
Sincerely meant
Will heal many
Take away sorrows
Comfort the sad
And ultimately
Save a soul


Details | Free verse | |

Reassurance

Kiss me tonight
Tell me you love me
Tell me you'll never leave me
I want to hear those words
I want to be reassured
Knowing I won't ever lose you

Hold me close
Allowing me to feel your heartbeat 
I want to know you'll stay forever
I want reassurance
Knowing you'll be by my side
Knowing I won't ever lose you
Reassurance is all I need


Details | Free verse | |

They Don't get it

I don't think they get it
They won't ever let it go
But yet they would never notice
Notice the fact that it's killing me
The past is the past
But yet they hold it against me
Like I did it every day
They don't get it
That holding the grudge against me
Is causing me to go insane
That always bringing it up
Is causing me to be more depressed
More depressed then I already am
They don't get it
They're killing me faster 
Than they realize


Details | Free verse | |

A Cutter's Guide to a Romantic Evening

You bring the razor blades
I’ll bring the tourniquets
We can slice our skin in midnight’s moonlight 
And unify our wounds so they bleed in the same river
But we won’t die 
No, not tonight.
Tonight, we’re nothing but a pair of dirty kids
Cutters with satanic minds
And ice encrusted hearts
And no love from the world
Showing them all we won’t hold the pain inside anymore.
Spilling our lives on linoleum
While dancing to the sound of our favorite songs
Splashing our feet in the crimson storm
It feels so phenomenal. 
Maybe we should bleed out, baby
Dissipate into the ebony
So profound and tranquil.
Let’s change our satanic minds
And leave this sickening world TONIGHT
C’mon baby, double suicide.
Let’s crash our ice encrusted hearts together like two wayward cars
Me and you die in a world of scars.


Details | Free verse | |

The Memory Tree

There were times, long ago,

when the young, preteen me

would intertwine herself

with the age-limp branches

of one of the two odd trees out.

But now, five years later,

the new me has reshaped her story,

gazing back on the memory

of a childhood lost forever.

 

The rough, tangled bark,

painted with decade-old blood

and knifepoint carvings

and skin interlaced in its valleys

where her knees had once tread.

I remember it and her tearless eyes;

where has the fearlessness gone?

 

There was once birdsong there,

mingling with my ignorant laughter.

The occasional scream there sounded, too,

when a prepubescent girl saw eight legs

and two beady eyes:

just as scared of her

as she was of it.

 

Most of these things are gone now,

replaced by year-dried leaves

and tripping roots.

But I have left my mark there,

my own memory at its roots:

a pool of purple tinged wax

and a skunkline of ash

halfway up its trunk;

a mirror to the pain

I felt that day.

Now, when I return,

the smoke is still present,

clinging to the hairs of my nostrils.

 

Although, one scent has always lived there,

even before I arrived,

beaming from the skies:

the smell of dew-coated leaves,

the sunrise,

of a child’s first breath.

Here I can find peace,

lost in the memory of my old life.

How I wish to forget it;

and yet each month, I find myself

crying beneath its love-lost leaves.


Details | Free verse | |

Suki

For three days I have done nothing but smile till my cheeks hurt
And I sit here grinning like a fool.
Three days. That's it.  Three days and I find myself falling hard.

It is like me to love quickly, but not like this.
You have no idea how significant it is that I've dreamed about you.  Including you, only
four people have ever made enough impact to appear when I close my eyes.
I'm laughing.
I'm sleeping well.
I find myself saying Suki just to have that smile spread across my face.
A warm glow fills me that I haven't had in a long time.

I find myself thinking that it should take longer than this. Longer than three days, but
then I smile and think of all the things you've told me that make me want to cry.
You've told me things no one else really ever tells me.
You tell me things that my heart needs to hear, but has been without and I'm just so...so
Happy.
And grateful.
And I think I'm crazy for falling so fast when logic kicks in, but logic leaves quickly.
Whoever liked Logic anyway.
And from here I guess I have only one word left to say.

Suki.





Details | Free verse | |

Hypocrite

I am a hypocrite and look what I just did:
I fell into my darkest pit; now, again, and again.
I thought that I was strong enough to live the truths I said;
Now I realized I'm much too weak; a fool too ashamed to raise his head.
God, please save me, please forgive me, and please give me strength. 
I love You.
I thank You.
I am forever changed.


Details | Free verse | |

Protect Me As I Sleep

Nobody 
Knows my real name
‘Angel’ 
Is what I go by
I am freezing cold
I don’t have money
Just, the clothes on my back
I am a walking wardrobe
I am lonely
I smell like crap
I am starving hungry
I can’t find any shelter
My clothes are drenched
I look like a drowned rat!
Violence
Upon women
Is classed normal
Around here!
I wonder...
If
I will survive
Another day?
Only
To wake up
And
Do this
All over, again!
“Protect me tonight
As,I lay my head to rest”
“I love you, dear God”

“Goodnight”


Details | Free verse | |

My Hard Life

What to do?
When you know nobody likes you?
For a fact that is.
How do you cope with it?
I can't do it.
I hate my life.
It's so hard.
Nobody makes it easier.
I get help from nobody.
No friends, no neighbours,
Not even my family.
My life is a dangerous place,
that no one wants to be in,
I'm sure.
Sometimes I feel suicidal,
like tonight.
But i fight it and succeed.
It always works.
But now I can't sleep.
I wouldn't be able to at all.
I hate my life.
If no one wants me in this world,
then why am i still here?
Doesn't God know i hate it here?
Is it punishment for me or my mom?
Or is it for the both of us?
I don't know.
How can I find out?
I don't know,
God, I don't know,
I, honestly, don't know...
           xxx


Details | Free verse | |

Come Nightfall

Everything glitters at night
Moonshine will pull all that you own into question
Like daylight never could;
You’re a coward
I’m a faggot and a fake
And I can’t think of one reason 
Why I deserve the shirt I’m wearing
I wish it were a tourniquet
So I could glimmer
Shine
Glitter in the light of the world
Like everything does
come nightfall.


Details | Free verse | |

I'm Making It Up

I'm making it up.

Do you really have the audacity to stand in front of me, and tell me to my face that i'm making it up. 

The thought of you unknowing what I go through burns deep inside my soul after you tell me to "get over myself."

I try hard to fight back the tears. I cannot let you see me break down, I cannot give you
the strength to knock me lower then hell itself because god knows I've been there all my 
life.

I'm making it up. 

I can speak for myself when i say "I sure as hell am not making it up." Although with every
waking, breathing moment I wish I was.


Details | Free verse | |

Just leave my man alone

Bad people come and go
but this one wont leave him alone
I wish she'd leave my man be
because he's got someone like me

That bad person won't leave my man be
she hurt him before 
I was left to pick up the pieces
which seeing him like this hurts me 
I just want him to be happy

Not that I care if they were friends
but she won't give it up
she wants him back
but I refuse to give him up
he is everything to me 

why won't she just leave him be
She says to him he's everything to her
if that were true why does she hurt him

if she truly loved him 
why would she cheat 
even hurting him again and again

All the sudden he finds anew 
and she wants him back 

I believe it's because he's mine now
I refuse to let him go 
he is everything to me 

I don't want to see him go down
He deserves nothing but the best
which to me shes nothing like that
She should just let him go
He is mine now. 

please leave my man be
I'm sick of the games she plays with his heart
I love him and he loves me
So please leave my man be 

find anew and maybe next time think again
before hurting a man or someone elses

Thanks again. 
 

 


Details | Free verse | |

It's over

It's funny really

You used to talk to me like that

Those words you said to me, are verbatim to her

That sense of devotion given to me, simply transferred to her

It's funny really



It's irritating really

How I could have loved someone like you

I blame myself for being so stupid

But you roped me in

It's irritating really



It's confusing really

What I ever did wrong to deserve your hate

How it's possible for you to be so harsh

I thought we ended mutually 

It's confusing really



It's sad really

The feelings went right down the drain, along with my heart

You made sure you got my best friend

Just so I could see how well you were doing

Well congratulations, I am broken

It's just sad really


Details | Free verse | |

Bitter

I started drinking my coffee black
Because it impressed you
When I downed it at your house that day
And this evening, 
My thoughts of you were just as bitter
As the taste left in my mouth
From the coffee as black as the hole
In my heart/
In my head
That I had thought you had begun to fill.


Details | Free verse | |

SEXY FRENCH GIRLS encounter an American 15yr old boy

FRENCH GIRLS  
 in the eyes of an
 innocent 
15 yr  American old boy

 

My son
Sweet naive
Raised in China
Where MTV and YOUTUBE are banned
Where no girl kisses
Until her university days end.
Raised in China
Where knees are covered--
Lips are sealed--
Where boys
Only dream
Of the wonders of Red sex.
My son
Said he loved Paris
     For the Eiffel
     For the Louvre
     For the Seine
     For the wine.

But I knew
He loved Paris
For the
Blackest  panties
Barely hiding
Knowing smiles
Of
Short tight skirts.


Details | Free verse | |

Hungry Ghosts

Truth is, I'm terrified Of the craggy pedestal that I've been Living on That threatens to pitch me into the Salty, ebony sea The rope is there for me to grab To pull me back up to the Shore But do I dare to turn back now? Do I dare to go so far? I pity the buds that, In spring, were once in full bloom Were lush enough to nurture At least, if need be Now the pair have regressed to baby Bubbles resting on my chest Shiny, but with childish luster only Innocent Yet too much so in age I thrive on the hollow pride That drags along my hollow stomach I flourish underneath the truth Of my demise In my disease, I become comfortable Skin just right and not too Stretched Too tired to drag on but thus content I am haunted by the thought Of ever being fed


Details | Free verse | |

Friendly Love

There are a lot of things to say
Why do I feel so alive when you're around?
There’s so much to do today
But how do I get rid of the clouds – shadowy and gray
We're lying on the ground...
Looking at the stars overhead... 

You are my beloved friend – 
Our love won’t break or bend
I’ll love you until the very end…
I’ll love you endlessly…our happiness blends
Like coffee and cream– yum! 
I know…these rhymes are quite dumb…aren’t they? 

Our light will shine and burn out the night 
Maybe there’s a star in the sky that scorches with love 

You are my superb friend – 
Our love won’t wear off or wither away
I’ll love you until the day I die
I’ll love you every day…our delight will be
As sweet as pie – how appealing 
I know…these words are overused…aren’t they? 

Our flight will be as dazzling as the elegant eagle 
Trained to ascend for more than half his life – or we’ll be like the seagull!! 
We could fly there and catch it someday
Fly…fly..fly…with me! Shoot the bull’s eye!
Our love will never die…so don’t say otherwise
Or I’ll sink in dismay


Details | Free verse | |

A Prayer For Healing

Father,
Do not let me be the demon I have created me to be.
I am the product of myself and my negativity.
I trust You.
I love You.
I thank You.
In Your name,
We pray,
Amen.


Details | Free verse | |

To Forget, But Not Completely

To forget your past,
And start your life anew,
is a journey worth taking.

To forget, yet always remember;
For you never know when it might become useful.


Details | Free verse | |

The Language of the new generation.

Understanding the new generation.
They have their own language.
Their own new meanings to the same words.
They have their own communication + lingo.
Has it not been the same with each new 
generation in history?
They discover a new style that is shocking
to the older generations.
Adjoining generations seem to listen
to each other.
At which point do the generations do not want
to listen.
Where is this gap?
Spelling is different for the same words. 
A lot of abbreviated text is used.
There seems to be an absence of books amongst
dvds + cds.Has this interior design element
been overlooked?
Is there a new dictionary to accommodate the
new generations?
Or is this just how life is?


Details | Free verse | |

Lives to Live

We have dreams to fulfill.
We have goals to achieve.
We have hearts to inspire.
We have love to give.
We have faith to teach.
We have hope to send.
We have strength to create.
We have bravery to find.
We have positivity to shine.
We have courage to build.
We have stories to tell.
We have hands to hold.
We have lives to live.
All in Your Heavenly name,
We pray,
Amen.


Details | Free verse | |

An Astronaut

I think I was an astronaut
Aimed for the stars.
They fill me up;
They refuel my tank.
They enable me to believe,
Telling me to never give up
As they follow me all of my days.
If only we could see the beauty
That they truly are.
They shout out dreams
That we can reach so far.
Climb into the rocket
And liftoff!
On a journey to discover ourselves,
We are taught so much more,
Learning our goals are only a plan away.
Even thought we must return,
I know that I will be back.
I am an astronaut,
And we always reach for the stars.


Details | Free verse | |

dream

embraced by smiles
but, swollowed by tears
i tried to stay strong but, the weight of the world has finally deafeted me
i have transformed my dreams into realistic actions
which is not my defenition of sucess by far
but it is the way the world has defined it for u and for me 
it has told us not to dream, but to focus
but why dont they just tell us to focus on our dreams?


Details | Free verse | |

Travelling Through Memories

In my head there's an echo of the past,
Reminiscing memories of the last years,
My childhood's fading, now disappears.

In my heart I know nothing can last.
Living through moments of these years
In adolescence I am now switching gears.

In my mind there's a ghost of the past.
Growing into times of tomorrow's years,
My future being only crying joyous tears.


Details | Free verse | |

MY FAVOURITE DISH

Enough of soap opera, 
of Erica and her sexiness; 
let me watch the Yankee game,
let me see their sweat; let me feel
their rivalry and hear their triumph! 
If you girls, don't switch channel,
this dish is coming down soon!
Your brothers and friends
will barge in any minute
with  beers and a six foot
hero to last all evening:
it's a guy thing...we must drink, jump,
shout, cheer and burp!
Still not listening...as if my presence 
were a ghost? Let me pull out
that plug and hear you scream! 
Go to the kitchen: chat or cook something!


Details | Free verse | |

No one is There

No one is here
No one is listening
All you hear is crying
And all I want is for the crying to cease
You don't feel my pain
You say you do
I just want someone that I know will care


Details | Free verse | |

Freedom Light

Freedom light

Now and Then I wonder about life, and about death.
And then I start to ponder, and then take a deep breath.
I wrap my arms around myself, my head falls to my chest.
I give myself a warm embrace and wish all of us the best.
For life is now, and only now, which is the only way  to live.
The sun will shine on you somehow, if you take and if you give.
And when it does you'll know it, the person you become.
And when you do you'll love it, and now it's just begun.
So take it all and use it up, do what you want to do.
Go down that road to fill your cup and you'll discover, too, 
that life is free, alive with light, calling out for you.
Your sun and sky, your land and sea, are only for you to move.


Details | Free verse | |

Close

Every scar paved the path to painful memories she never thought she’d be leading him
down at 3 am. Every secret she hesitated to tell the other boys slid off her tongue 
like the tears down her cheeks that were present around no one else. 
The only part of her he wanted to see was her soul. 
The only thing he wanted to remove was the lingering negativity, not her clothes. 
He’s the only one who would hold her and patiently listen to her when she was at her 
lowest, yet no one understands why she can’t quite function right when he’s not there, 
no one understands why for months he was the only one she could hold a conversation 
with. And most importantly, no one understood her blood-stained wrists after he left. 
They couldn't comprehend her point of no return in those 5 months. They didn't get her joy
when he finally came back. Their annoyed faces are worth every second she gets to talk 
about him, it’s all worth it for the sleepy Saturday mornings of waking up to him. 
It’s all worth it to know at the end of the day there is someone who loves you so much. 
Every bump is worth the feeling of being so incredibly close to another human being.


Details | Free verse | |

Teacher

I am who I am though much changed since.

Could compare a life to the changing seasons like the summer heat that dies fast 
in the bite of October air,
or the colder December winds.

And very little time passes. 

Hearing the song softer now, I remember how it was then.
The days and smallest moments that carved both painful and painfully beautiful scars
into the easiest of memories.

Like films of dust that cover everything not often used, 
but waiting.

And to think about what should’ve been,
between the lazy distance both too far gone and almost nothing but a short coming 
home to find it just as it was,
only touched by the dust of a few years,

Is useless.
Just as it was then,

when it was us and a boy we all knew,
(or thought we knew the kind)
his awkward form sitting tall with a measured confidence that knew we were 
watching, 
(and using him for another good time)
and still seemed easy enough on the surface to show us
he was like the rest of us-

A child like us.

Fighting and claiming and fighting the uncontained wisdom of children.
But he, ahead of his time, 
got up from his desk and painted his own stairway to heaven
and we watched while he climbed.

Believing that he was old enough and wise enough
to measure speed and resistance.
That that would be enough to maintain the strongest and most fragile of us.

But instead, as we walked silently between the pews he taught us 
something useful.


Details | Free verse | |

BOUNDLESS

The bouquet of opulent, red roses is royalty visiting squalor,
Kept in a wide pickle jar that allows each stem to spread,
And one finger touches one petal with the pride of ownership,
As though the blooms decorate a parlour, housed in crystal.

My first place is just a furnished room with cheap, wood paneling,
A basement apartment with a small TV that hums like a school janitor.
I pull this and that from a bar fridge that barely holds a carton of milk,
And scramble eggs using a dented hotplate I bought from the Sally Ann.

Sitting on a couch that has a slightly mangy scent that reminds me of
a wet puppy, I glance over at the phone and I try to not think of her.
I do and the guilt has me tossing away my planned dinner after one bite,
I wonder if my mother is all right or is bent in regret, rocking in silence.

The words she’d said in rage replay and I agonize over my decision.
An albatross, she’d called me, why couldn’t I just grow up and move out?
Her venting embossed itself on walls that had already heard too much
and within hours I had found a place to rent and packed my clothes.

Stay, she’d pled, swinging into depression, punishment’s pendulum, 
Now, I sit in dimly lit independence, tasting freedom and uncertainty,
Worrying about the one who left lash marks on the thinnest of wings.
I cave and call her, promise to visit Sunday, but stay my new ground.

Alone, I go to bed in clean, cool sheets that are so old they rasp my skin,
My boyfriend will visit, perhaps tomorrow, and his sweat will singe cotton,
I stretch and discover that there are no boundaries here, as though my toes 
could wander all the way to some run down annex in far off Paris.

I change my mind and move the flowers closer, so their perfume
can weave through dreams that will hover between heaven and hell.  
There in the dark, I can make out the outline of my future and it wavers,
It’s then that I realize I’ve left the nest at eighteen with small bits of shell.


By Cyndi MacMillan, For Frank's Coming of Age Contest


Details | Free verse | |

Teenagers

Teenagers, Gods wonderful treat
They start out as babies
Are always under your feet
But you know they are so sweet

They are our blessings
We can't deny
Even though all they do is cry

First year, second, made it threw
Third year, fourth, getting the groove
Fifth year, sixth, made it to school
Seventh year, eighth, it's running smooth

Ninth year, tenth, there growing up
Eleventh year, twelveth, they don't shut up
Thirteenth year, they hit the spot
Now look what we got, teenager

Teenagers are wonderful creatures
Was put here on earth to be small teachers
Turning their parents gray headed over night
With worry, pacing, and all the fights

But they are our children
No matter what 
A blessing sent from God
Each parent got
To nurture, love, and help them grow
And watch our teenagers sow
Their seeds in life
We love them so


Details | Free verse | |

Start To Finish

Start
At the toes of bright
Colored socks. Up the legs
Of inky blackness on up to the 
Stomach a sea inside.
Out to the arm delicately scarred. 
Up to the chest now
Stop.
Breathe, feel.
That evergoing thump.
Pressing on.
A heart. Go on feel,
Look you've got one too.
Gentle now, don't break it.
Stop.
Breathe, feel.
Up we go, up past the 
Neck, the lips, nose, the eyes.
Now up to the head.
Stop.
Breathe, listen.
The roaring chatter of a single
Brain. Hopes, dreams, wishes.
Thoughts, ideas, feelings.
Yet none of it means, 
Anything.
Not yet anyways.
Stop.
Breathe, feel, listen.
Finish.


Details | Free verse | |

Progression

Flirt for fun
Kiss for passion
Reach for desire
Touch for lust
Sex . . . ?
		Sold


Details | Free verse | |

Alone and Lonely -Poem about loneliness in middle school and cliques-

Being alone is like a blot of ink
On white parchment
That dot doesn't mind its surroundings;
It simply exists and minds its own business
But being lonely is like a pencil without lead
Among the sharpened pencils on the desk
That pencil lacks in quality
Of whatever that pencil lacks, the others make it a commodity

A commodity? You tell me
What is being asked of me
What is the truth behind our society
Why do we see the negative things
Always, and why do we never offer
Solace to those who mask their feelings
Can't you differentiate a fake smile from the real?

This is a sad case of loneliness, when you think of things like this
Instead of going outside and enjoying your company
But really your company is your own embodiment
It's real sad when your shadow represents the color your heart is

Black hearted while faint-hearted; can I handle it all?
Will I survive these tender years of life where the clique
Runs the business and leaves you out for dead
They leave you in the woods, say, "Screw you," and a wolf comes along
And all the other savage beasts; do I matter anymore?
Well, they don't talk to me anymore...
Talk some sense into yourself; those girls don't make you
But they make me popular...
Sometimes popularity is worth waiting for

Little did they know the quiet kid with the glasses and the crossbody purse
In about ten years, they'd be working for her
Kissing at her feet, asking for a raise
But I won't let up; I'll remember those days
Those days when I felt like a dull pencil in a stack full of new ones
But thank God for the karma, so I'll know they will suffer
Alone and lonely are very different things, and I suffered from the latter
But I'll emerge from the swamp of loneliness and enjoy some leisure things alone
When I'm done with those, I can talk to the kids and not worry about the clique.


Details | Free verse | |

It's Time

Theres a momment when you  realize your not a little girl anymore.

Mommy and daddy arn't there to run too.

You have to make your own choices.

Your finely free.

You get to do what you want.

No one setting rules for you...

Your life is perfect...

Right?

This momment is the one you've been waiting for...

But now that its here...

Your eyes are getting teary...

Already longing for the "good old days"

The good old days where...

Mommy would sing you to sleep...

Daddy would rock you in his lap when you where scared...

You knew you where safe...

You didn't have to worrie about being judge...

You knew when you got home there was someone to love you...

That was the good old days...

Now its time...

Time to go...

Go out on your own...

Alone...

Its time...

To go out and start a life of your own...

All grown up...

You're not a little girl anymore...

It's time...

You're ready...

To start a life of your own...

Little girl...

Farewell...


Details | Free verse | |

Realisation

I couldn't go out to the pub with my friends
Because she was there. Her and her boyfriend and
Her new best friend. And it's just hit me;
This isn't love.

I'm no expert on what love is, but there's
No way it's sitting miserably at home whilst
Your sweetheart is out having fun with
Other people and therefore
Preventing you from being there.

Maybe now that's sorted out, I can
Finally forget about her, slowly
But surely. How hard
Can it be? She's just some
Girl from the past,
After all.

Yet whilst I'm writing this,
I'm wearing her old jacket.


Details | Free verse | |

Colliding

If you were wondering about me,  
My scars haven’t healed yet 
Your corrupted fingers penetrating me, 
Guiding me into a strange situation   

This place is fairly misleading! 
I’m turning crazed and disoriented 

Colliding…Colliding…Oh, colliding

If you were wondering about me, 
My scars haven’t healed yet 

This place is fairly misleading… I’m bewildered 
I have this bizarre feeling inside of me 
I feel as if I’m in space 

Colliding…				colliding…					colliding
					In this bizarre black hole


Details | Free verse | |

Brilliant Blasphemy

Burnt like tongues,
in our steaming soup.
Now this taste,
is  of ashen anticipation.

The wasted walls of youth
decaying
In due damnation

the very writer of the law,
Indeed the first to break it.
Innocence like spiders,
distressed 
when webs were shaken.

ATHENA!
ATHENA!
stripped in naked virtue.
endless clout about you,
and a hollow soul before you.

Filled and then sucked dry,
your love like one would bar tend.
mixed and then poured out,
an oscillating option.




Details | Free verse | |

The Moon And The Girls

The deep blue cloudless firmament Helps to increase the fairness Of the full moon, For a moment it seems The face of a beautiful teen girl. We are the boys here All your admirer. Oh! all teen beautiful girls You are all among them Has the quality to receive praise. These eulogy may be soften your heart But I think these are not enough To allured you, attract you. I know there is a scale of balance Behind your cheerful glance. Your beauty, your grace Is your power, your strength. Your each and every step Involved inextricably with the nature. All you are student of the nature by born, You trained and cultured by the nature. I honor all of your beauty. A full moon sometimes seems moon, Sometimes seems a teen girl.


Details | Free verse | |

What can I do to make you see

A month and a day
Since my heart was so happy it vomited blood
So, here, please take this but don't break it,
It's as fragile as porcelain china, maybe more
Because it still distrusts everyone I meet
Even when you hold it, it sometimes becomes sore
It's easy to break, easy to drop
But hard to get into, and hard to open
Can I get a plague from loving you too much?
If I can, I think I've gotten it already
But then again, isn't love a plague itself?
Rip my heart out, please.
Watch it beat slowly as it dies, for you.
If I don't hear your heart beat, then you're not close enough to me.
What can I do to make you see?
That no matter how much I try
 I'm not good enough for you.
What can I do to make you see?
Through the facade that hides my emotions
What can I do to make you see?
That when I say one thing
Sometimes it's really the other.
Can I get a plague from loving you too much?
I think I can.
I think I have.
The only cure I have is you.
So I'll die slowly
As you're absence becomes known to me
Give me my cure
Save me from myself, the other me.
She's got a knife in our hand
I've got the phone in the other
Which one do I use?
Help me!
What can I do to make you see?
That I'm not always alright
That behind the smile I'm crying inside.
What can I do to make you see?
That I need you to save me from myself
What can I do to make you see?
That in your arms I'm escaping reality
What can I do to make you see?
The other side of me


Details | Free verse | |

The Product of Germany America

The night we first met
We talked all morning
He walked me home
I walked him instead
That was the night
I soon realized
This German boy
entered my life
I won't say I loved him
But willing to say
I felt for him
WHen we held hands
My mind jumped up and down
Telling me to run before it's too late
Before this boy breaks me apart
Soon enough he broke my heart
I made one mistake
A regret
I still think about him
Even if he has f****** ADHD
I want him
Though he never knew
I liked him


Details | Free verse | |

What's really happening inside

When a girl,
 hears something bad,
She can hide it by...
She laughs when,
she's crying inside,
She smiles when,
She's genuinely hurt,
She closes her eyes,
to try to hide back the tears.
A girl doesn't like,
to show weakness.
If she does its because,
she trusts you more than,
she trusts herself...
Think about it...


Details | Free verse | |

Me, the 8-ball

I feel like the 8-ball in a game of pool.
Not exactly the best looking ball on the table, but definitely the last one that you want to 
mess with!
Then there are the people who remind me of the "white ball."
They're always doing their best to knock anyone they come in contact with into a "pocket."
What the "white balls" never realize is that, eventually, they'll get sucked down too.
In retrospect, I'm glad I'm the "8-ball," true to myself and the last to go down.
                                          That's right! Me, the 8-ball, and proud of it!


Details | Free verse | |

If ya can't

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.

If ya can't kill 'em...
well, that bridge will come
just think up a plan 
and pray it works
if not....
ya in doo-doo
better get mommy to kiss that boo-boo

Peacin' out ya'll!


Details | Free verse | |

Like Spoiled Milk

Words of the past.
Babbling like a baby,
Dying from the drama.
These words smell funny.

Many years since then.
Crying over useless things,
Blowing money on candy.
Check the expiration date.

Things have totally changed.
No asking mom for rides,
Waking for work instead of school.
This has gone rotten.

Looking back on it all.
All of the silly decisions,
Lots of time down the drain.
Time to throw it out.

Throwing away childhood.
It's like spoiled milk,
Ages quickly with a lingering aroma.
Time to throw it out.

Time to buy another gallon of Milk.
For another phase,
The Milk of Adulthood.
Enjoy it while it lasts.

It'll spoil sooner than you think.


Details | Free verse | |

Flawless

The lie, its universal.


"I'm fine."


Nobody is ever fine...


Nothing is ever fine.


The imperfections are what make us human, what make us not fine.


and if you're perfect then you're just as messed up! Because being perfect....that is a flaw in itself.


Details | Free verse | |

Brokenhearted

Give love to receive love,
give respect to gain respect. 
Give love a shot, 
don't waste life.
The bravest and riskiest thing you can do:
is to keep putting your heart out there,
and getting it broken,
until you mert the right one.
It takes strength and courage,
to never give up.


Details | Free verse | |

Sanguinary Lord

A severe façade of loving tolerance Dipped in an argentine semblance The Consuls of The Cross Weaving a sweven of Welkin Where the checkered ones Are never allowed Their souls cast into the flames Of a greater decay The never ending pit Of eternal torment You turn the other cheek The one that wields the clandestine dagger The dreams of being free grow lighter and light The truth is shrouded by sister-Night Clinging onto existence Never eluding the resistance I will never adhere To your Sanguinary Lord Bestowing The Crusader’s reign Against the sand and the desert’s wane Barraging him over the frame In desperation to appease Screaming and shouting I will wash away your sins Decadence of the ones to throw the stones The ones to enforce the book Has left your lies dry and ready to die No more tears are left to cry No more screams are left to scream No More blood to be split No more graves to be dug


Details | Free verse | |

Pitiful Scars

Please wait for me to too away my comfort zone
For, you and I have trekked this rocky road for years it seems…
And we did this all on our own, yet we haven’t groaned
We haven’t groaned
No, not once have we groaned
We grew out of that long away – it was, well, disowned

The sun is the spotlight…
When I perform a deep, despondent song
It’s like a disco ball above my head tonight 
Swarms and swarms
And swarms and swarms of fans 
Surround me happily – I feel like I belong
As I swiftly walk off of stage without hesitation
My heart is pumping rapidly with anticipation 
I briskly walk that road of recovery and my mind’s blown
Where have you gone? 
Where have you gone? 
Have you driven back home? 
Where did you roam off?
I’ll just play it off and slightly cough

Open up your heart 
Open up your heart 
Be considerate for once…don’t break our trust apart
I’m locked up in the attic of my imagination
The attic of my imagination
The attic of my imagination 
Can you help me down or I’ll collapse on the wooden floor
With a sore, sore bottom 
I’ll be mad to the core
Mad to the core
My want grows more and more
You're the one I adore...
The one I adore
The one I adore tremendously
The one that I open the door for!

These scars won’t disappear
Can’t wait till my hopes reappear without a taste of fear 
I’ll keep fighting till I get what I want, when I want
What I want, when I want…
What I want, when I want, 
But, I sound like a selfish brat of a teenager
I might get myself in a whole lot of danger
Hold on to the bars – hold on to me, my love
Hold on to me
Hold on to me
I’ll try to mend your scars 
Mend your scars
Mend your scars
And hand you a bouquet of stars


Details | Free verse | |

What Her Heart Had to Say

I lost what I was looking for
When love to an unschedule detour
So bent upon the illusion of control
That you mixed your lies with our love
And concocted a remedy so toxic
That now it hurts even you..
Irony
Now you expect me to believe
It took countless tears and the dust from my broken heart 
Just for you to realize that I was the best thing you ever had?
hmph.. Well I hope you make friends with loneliness
Because pain has already pushed me away


Details | Free verse | |

TEARS OF A TEEN

	 		  

 They say our life is happy – so full of fun,
They call it advices when they point a gun,
Dad says ‘you only have to study – why can’t you’
Dear elders –wait a while, come and wear into my shoe!


Unit test are coming up –beware,
You must study till late-learn and prepare!

Don’t be coward – you are on the soccer field,
Bend like Beckham you must win a shield!

Oratory is the art of public speaking 
 you must participate, it’ll be interesting!

The quizmaster is confusing, you see,
Go through Telegraph, Statesman and Graphiti!

Late to bed and early to rise,
You say will make me brilliant and wise.

You were absent yesterday go and meet the clerk,
I will kick you out of the class, if you don’t do the home work!

Don’t get distracted be steady like the stars – look,
Go for tuitions – forget the hi5, Orkut or Facebook!


We are your elders – we say for your good,
 Better pay attention or you’d it – understood!

Now that you’ve taken a ride into our routine,
Let me show you the pictures that you’ve already seen!

So easy is our life that we are never at rest,
Today is elocution and tomorrow will be the test,
If we fail – dad receives a letter,
If we pass – we can still do better!

What hypocrisy is this – are we machines,
We have our lives – we have our dreams!

You’ve made the board dirty with your words – you must clean,
I’m sorry elders it was just the blood from the heart of a teen!!



           
                            	





	
                                                              


Details | Free verse | |

Album From The Heart

I can't get her off my mind, or my heart
And second verse same as the first
Chorus Lost in my head and the hooks won't come out
Lodge so deep in my subconscious
My heart beats to the melody of our favorite song
You see..
I feel..
but heard, her voice so sweet, like an angels laluby
able to slay the savage beast ive caged inside
locked so far away but still got out
then in she came, and I found out
She could very well be
the best thing thats ever happened in my crazy life

But ive miss read the lyrics, for far too long
looking for where i went wrong
only to find love is just a sad song.. played by me
And now i have a close friend, trying to fix
how love met pain, this toxic mix
rid my mind of all these tricks
Now I cross my fingers hoping this isnt just a remix
to my heart beak album


Details | Free verse | |

Betrayed

You always said you love me
Me and only me
You said you never hurt me
Said we'd get married
Live happily
But you betrayed me
All those girls you dated
Dated while you were with me
I talked to you about it
You told me you had nothing to do with them
Told me I was the only one
But what now
I'm on the verge of dying
And to have a girl tell me you're dating her
You betrayed me
Again and again
But I didn't consider it was partially my fault
My fault for ever believing you
You betrayed me


Details | Free verse | |

So Close, Yet So Far

It's like I'm there,
Standing behind a glass wall.
I've had a taste,
Just not the full platter.
I'm ready for the cake,
But all I have is batter.


Details | Free verse | |

Love

The love that cuts deep Between two people As if they are the world In the heart Through the pain Over time again Without that person Among us is love Inside our hearts Up in our brain Within our souls Since we were young Love is a part of us In the heart Though the tears Over time again


Details | Free verse | |

The Hike

We cannot give up;
We still have life to live.
The hike may not always be easy,
But the view must be seen to believe.


Details | Free verse | |

I Want

This smile hides the pain
That comes with everyday life...
These eyes tell a story
That I wish was a lie...

I want to go where the grass is greener, 
Even if it’s just across the street.
I want to go where I can be happy
Even if it means leaving everything. 

I want to walk through wild flowers 
While holding your hand. 
I want to be the sunshine 
When your days are bad…

I can’t tell you
I’ll be worth your time
But I can promise
Every day I’ll try..


Details | Free verse | |

My Black Barbie BeeBee

When I was young, 
My mum bought me a black barbie doll,
I wanted a white one,
I cried and tried,
to convince her to buy me a white one,
 all in vain.
she gave me no reason,
and it remained like that.

 

I never used to take care of Barbie,
Never used to comb her hair,
 Or dress her up,
 until one day,
When I looked at her skin,
it was like mine,
her hair,
it was like mine,
 she was beautiful,
she was like me,
black in all aspects,
she had brown eyes,
red lips and was curvacious too,
 I realised how beautiful she was 
and named her BEEBEE,

 

I started dressing her up,
combing her hair,
and marvelling at her beautiful black skin,
I once heard that,
The darker the berry,
the sweeter is is,
I kept her away from too much sun,
too much rain,
I took care of her,
I was so afraid,
She would start fading 
and become white or light brown,
she would no longer be beautiful,
she would lose her originality,
she looked so like me,
but I was prettier
my skin was darker,
more rich,
more beautiful.



If she could hear,
I wanted to boast,
of how I was more curvacious,
My skin was much richer,
 my eyes were bright brown,
I wanted to boast how,
I can work most night and day,
Multitask and still find time to play,
I wanted to boast of how
 I can speak my mother toungue
I can sing and dance,
I can dream and accomplish.
I wanted to boast aboutall this,
but she couldnt hear,
she was just but a plastic doll,
A beautiful black plastic barbie doll,
Her name was BEEBEE


I'm grown now,
I'm woman now,
I see now,
What mama tried to teach me in silence,
Why she refused to buy me,
the white barbie,
it taught me much,
am so in-love with myself now,
because I related with BEEBEE back then,
learnt my worth,
realised my beauty,
inside and outside,
I bet they were talking about me when they said,
the darker the berry,
the sweeter it is.


Details | Free verse | |

Bad Night

why did this happen
tonight of all nights
why cant we go one night
without all these fights

the yelling, the screaming, 
the swears and the hate
where in this crazy world 
is all our faith?

i wish i could stop this its every night now
but unfortunately im 
just another face in the crowd.

its nothing but drama 
new thing everyday
its all just so sickening
what  can i say?


Details | Free verse | |

Bullied

All I want to do is punch, and kick, and scream, and rip my hair, and tear at my clothes as I fall to the ground wracked

and enveloped in silent screams that have gone on deaf ears. Too afraid.

Too ashamed.

Of what?

Because of this. The past, the hairline scars

only I can see in a blazing red burning into my flesh like lava, constant. A thrumming

phantom ache.

Almost as tormenting as the ghosts of the memories, and the memories I’ve changed to better suit me, and their remains. 

Like a frankenstein and whispering in my ringing ear all the things that my silence drowns out. - Peace.

Not today but eventually cease,

something to change to drown out the - Peace.

Not in the virtuous hold but in the gratuitous embrace of a chance to see - Peace.

To not think because I don’t want those dangerous daggers piercing behind my eyes

and through  my skull. Thinking stops. 

Though gaping wounds and hairline fractures

blazing in red to my own eyes fester, the chance to open the cracks so to let it out.

Cleanse my wounds and let them scar over in a blazing red, as if to say

“I have survived”


Details | Free verse | |

Druggo

Druggo
Step into a neighbourhood thinking it's the best place in the world
But in every hood, there are druggos with hearts of mould
Hanging out in a secluded part of the school
Or chilling in the park trying to look cool
Weed or coke it all makes me sick
Young or old I think they're all pricks
Drugs break friendships between the good and the bad
Thinking drugs are good that's so damn sad


Details | Free verse | |

Lets Make A Promise

Lets make a promise. 
I fly away,
While you stay. 
I Take the chance,
While you take the dance.
Go ahead,
and take the bread.
I want you to live,
Past till you can drive.
If anyone has to die,
Then why,
Be anyone but me.
Lets make a promise. .
You live,
While i die.
You live out your dreams,
While i get caught by the beams.
Because baby,
Just maybe,
You were meant to live,
Forever.


Details | Free verse | |

Fugitives

We can always escape 
with your hand in mine, 
it's in the pills that you offer me 
but I shy away.
It's in the drink that you poor in me
and I cannot refuse.

Saturday night, we're running away, 
through the turnstiles relentlessly, 
flowing downstream, 
it's the only way. 
With your hand in mine 
I feel your pulsation echoing through me 
again and again, 
again and again.


Details | Free verse | |

Why am i so funny?

When people laugh after I say something funny, 
I wonder, “What if I could do that for money?”
 When I walk out my door and I see it’s not sunny, 
I wonder, “Why does the cold always make my nose runny?”

The cold seeps through my clothes
From my fingers to my toes,
And I think back to times when I had a good laugh, 
Of all the times, thanks to me, possible were half. 

I think of the times when I made a good joke, 
People laughed so hard, it made them choke!
When I hang out with my friends, 
My great jokes never offend. 

Joke after joke, it starts to become sunny, 
And I begin to wonder, “Why am I so funny?”


Details | Free verse | |

Root of Evil

After love comes sadness After sadness comes pain After pain comes rage With rage comes violence Love is the root of all good, But also the root of all evil


Details | Free verse | |

A Thought

The most beautiful picture
Still needs a frame to support
And complete it.


Details | Free verse | |

The First Time

For the first time,
I feel that life’s treating me right

Everyone’s talkin’ amongst themselves…

I’m sick ‘n tired of wastin’ time
I need to…train myself to become successful – 
Starting tonight.
My life has its ups ‘n downs…
How can I balance myself again?
How can I be more productive this week?
How much time does it take to make my life valuable?

Every now and then, 
I feel that there’s no way out of the cage

Everyone’s bringin’ up past recollections 

I’m willin’ to fight the good fight… but I feel like garbage…
My faith towards Him slowly decays away… 
How can I rebuild my strength again?
How can I reassure myself that I’m stronger than I realize? 
How much time does it take to accomplish all of my dreams? 

Every so often,
I feel that my family doesn’t love me

Do they still cherish me like hidden treasure?
Do they still love me beyond measure?

Everyone’s tellin’ me that I did a great job on my solo 

I don’t believe them entirely…but at least I got the audience’s attention  
My future is bright like the sun…
How can I make my dreams a reality?
Does God know the answer?
How much time does it take to taste a sprinkle of glory?

For the last time, 
I feel the need to reach the finish line

Everyone’s proud of me for trying my best 
And running with all of my effort
I’m willin’ to encourage myself to pass the test…
Despite my struggles, I’m doing fine  

My courage increases by the minute…
I outrun the competitive runners and I’m barely passing the test 

My cup is half full – I’m extremely grateful
For the first time, 
I feel that God has answered my prayers – 
LIFE IS SO. . . . WONDERFUL!


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate it

I hate it when they say I'm pretty
I hate it when they don't explain
I'm not pretty
I'm ugly
I'm a monster no one should love
I hurt
I scare
I'm the only monster they want to be friends with
I hate it
I don't get it
The fact that I'll hurt them more than they bargained for
They'll get hurt
But insist to never leave my side
I hate it
I hate the fact that I'm a monster
But still
We will see how long they last
Before they run
And regret meeting me


Details | Free verse | |

The world is mad

lying in wait, 
skulking along alleys 
hiding in shadows 
amongst bums and homeless
the moon is bright
shining silver on the 
rain soaked street 

waiting to see the world 
walk passed;
like a horse wearing blinders
they don't know 
what is around them 
they don't know 
what's behind them 

a shadowy man 
stepping out from the
dark corners of the alley
could come up 
and wrap both hands 
around a person's 
swanlike neck

as soft as a caress
of a lover, 
they wouldn't know 
the difference
they are blinded 
by what is only in front 
of them 

but at the same time 
they can't see what is 
passed the very 
tip of their noses
they seem to thrive in 
negativity; where as i 
love to wake up and 
smell the roses

lying in wait 
in the alley and 
shadows of the big city 
buildings 
breathing softly 
no one notices 
i am inivisible here

i cannot be bothered
unless i make a scene 
which i plan to do 
with a friend and me 

we have music 
its a stereo that we
blast to full 
and we begin dancing 
like mad women 
again, this goes unnoticed 
by those that are blinded 

by others they walk about
wandering over 
aimlessly 
we are human-
curious by nature...

we make fools of ourselves, 
grabbing the hands 
of random strangers,
screaming "Dance!" into 
random faces; 
some comply to our demands 
others runaway 
...apparently frightened that 
we really are mad 

who knows, 
we could very well be 
the world lives and thrives 
in madness 
full to the brim with
women born children and
grandchildren who 
wont admit their 
madness 

the world is mad....
accept, live, and breathe it. 
the world is mad.


Details | Free verse | |

Inevitable

A glance in the mirror.
That's all it took.

A glimpse,
And she saw it.
Every mistake,
Every disappointment
That made her become
Who she is now.

A look,
And she saw a memory.
Every lie,
Every action
That made her arrive
At this moment.

A small glance,
And she saw the pain.
Saw the tears,
Saw the heartache
That has changed her.
That has scarred her.

A glance in the mirror
And she saw herself.
Broken.


Details | Free verse | |

Love bug Sonata

Slowly realizing with some help that life has never been about the things that we 
can live without but the things we can’t
I wore you socks to bed instead because thoughts of you ran through my head 
and I couldn’t get them out instead I wondered if it was me you thought about 
Telephone poles stood like crosses across from the insane train that took me 
swaying away from the place where we used to chase our teems of dreams 
through leafy trees I thought in that spot that I could never live without your crazy, 
lazy, always hazy smile
Come back to me for a while?
You’re family reaches a peak that can only be described as a shriek or a squeak 
but I loved them right away without having to stay or say much of anything at all 
Never felt very comfortable with anyone who was punctual but we showed up late 
to every date we made 
We paid the price with grains of rice and were always nice and sought 
forgiveness from the villains, who were taking our time, 
Don’t worry because I know its fine
Realized that I could live without everything else that the world was about as long 
as you shared my thoughts and lent me your socks, slept in my bed and ravaged 
my head with crazy ideas I’d never come close to grasping always relapsing 
about
Found out what friendship was all about and that I couldn’t live without the girls 
who made me want to shout and that’s what life is all about and what I’ll always 
live for. 


Details | Free verse | |

Imagery

Standing together, you and I,
I am happy; I feel loved.

I blame you.

Arm in arm, him and her,
I am alone with my tears.

I have no one to run to, no safety shield.
I have no one who knows me,
Or appreciates who I am.

    Kiss in the hall, him and I.
    I was flattered, and consoled.

    Traitor.

    Locking loving eyes, him and her,
    I was angry... maybe jealous.
    Up to now I have one last image...

        Standing in my room holding the inviting point, me, myself, and I.
        We came together only to cease to exist...

        I'm still standing here.

        A white line appears where the point grazed my arm.
        Not a straight line, but a quivering wave.
        I see my breath in front of me, but it's summer.

The silver point glistens. A light flickers.
                                                                        What now?


Details | Free verse | |

big city rock concert.

sitting on the concrete floor,
feeling my tongue vibrate against my teeth.
the music flooding through my body,
my mind in convulsions,
reaching the climax,
over the edge once i hear that song.
bright lights,
empty beer cans.
i cant tell if my foot is slipping,
or if its my mind thats drifting further away.
in front of me are the heroes of today,
that reached their goals.
but they'll never feel the way i feel now,
liberated,
individual,
and the contradictory collective.
the voice reaches me,
echoing,
burning images 
and chords.
if things could always be this way,
i wouldnt have to think about -          .


Details | Free verse | |

Geeky Boys and Busty Girls

In the little town called Cleveland
Some many years ago
In a high school gymnasium
Met a group of girls and boys
Since early in their childhood
They were plagued by many peers
Because they lacked
The perfect look
Like many other kids

After many years of torture
Constant badgering from everyone
They decided was time to take a stand
Claiming freedom once again
The group contained the branded
The freaky geeky boys
The girls slightly on the heavy side
A few all rolled in one


They called their club the meeting 
Of freaky boys and busty girls
Requirement was be outcast 
From the preps the jocks “the toys”
They arranged a simple protest
Simple protest most fun
To prove that being different 
Is not so bad and can be fun

They stripped down to nothing
But a smile on every face
And marched the halls of Cleveland High
In unison they did say
Though we may all look different 
Inside we’re all the same
So accept us if you will or not
We’re happy just the same

The faculty at the school that day
We outraged by what they saw
Forty teenage girls and boys
Marching naked down the hall
Parents quickly contacted
Expulsion all around
For the kids labeled freaks and geeks
Their victory it was found

Though the protest was very different
The idea quite deranged 
Respect was granted on that day
For the group with guts to say
Being different is not so different
Can be cool they all proclaimed
For the geeky boys and busty girls
We’re proud for each that day

The moral of this story 
Though odd but very true
Though outside one looks different
Inside the pages read so true
Looks aren’t that important 
But the hearts all beat the same
We are all just like 
The kids 
From Cleveland high that day


Details | Free verse | |

Hold Me, My Other

A world apart, a world alone, no one can even know how different I feel. I'm not real skinny, I'm not real pretty, or at least that's how I feel. I have some friends, and we're all close, but even then they can not begin to understand the difference. They accept me for who and what I am, but I can not. I hate it how my body can't just work right, how nothing goes as planned. I heal too fast, I heal too slow, my pain is eminent, there's no where to go. My face is fine, my arms are scarred. Some me, some him, some years apart. My legs are wrong, them I never show. A battlefield hit with mines, never right. My chest and back, are covered in scars, my stomach too. All this surgery, what do you do? I'm tired of going under, I'm tired of the knife. I'm tired of the nurses, and I'm tired of my life. I'm tired of being different, of being looked at as the fool. I'm tired of being misunderstood, I'm tired of not being “cool” enough. I take release in my art, but even that can't help. No matter how many lines I draw, or words I write, they can not stop this internal fight that is forever a raging tempest inside of me. Some nights a torrent of silver tears pours from my dark eyes, but no one can know, and will never know why. I know one who might understand. I call that person my best of friends. Not the absolute, but close enough. Hugs and cuddles and all that stuff. They're there when I need a good talking to, when I need to vent. When the worst of me pops out, I think of them to soothe my tired soul. A world apart, a world alone, I feel crooked down to the bone. We aren't alike, I and everyone else. I want a hand to hold, even just as a friend. The one who knows, and understands. I need them now, I need them here. And though we may never be together, I've always felt that way, though I remain silent in the painful silence that surrounds my bleeding heart. This friend is the one I need to see, my other half I need to be with. Not in romance, not in love, but in empathetic understanding of the curses that pour down from above. I know this person fairly well, and read this they shall. Perhaps they'll know of whom I speak, and from there we can condole. But until that day, I'm stuck alone with my tired, unhappy soul.


Details | Free verse | |

If I'm Dreaming

one day
 we okay
 the next night
 we fight
 it just don't...
 nevermind i won't
 Wish this would...
 Bet it could.
 Could make some since
 if on my heart you'd see the dents.
 if you would have some compassion
 and see that you're my passion.
 off this passion I thrive
 for love I strive
 unless this is all a lie.
 Sometimes i think it is when you say goodbye.
 or perhaps a dream
 but we're a team
 I want us to last.
 been there in the past,
 And I want you there in the future too
 but if this is all a dream I don't know what to do
 So tell me it's real.
 Write it on my heart and kiss it for a seal.
 And if I'm dreaming pinch me.
 And if that don't work punch me.
 Because I don't wanna live this dream, 
If it isn't real
 And I don't wanna live any other way
 So tell me it's real, babe.
 Promise me it's real.
 Because of the way I think you love me,
 Because of the shining moon over the glistening sea
 because of the bright orange sun setting in the distant blue sky,
 Is all too beautiful
 to be real.
 So tell me it's real, babe.
 Promise me it's real.
 And if I'm dreaming pinch me.
 And if that don't work punch me.
 Because I don't wanna live this dream, 
If it isn't real
 And I don't wanna live any other way
 So tell me it's real, babe.
 Promise me it's real.
 But if I'm dreaming...


Details | Free verse | |

Not your perfect girl...

The words I have held so long in my heart
Have broken free at last
But now I want to take them back,
I want to turn back the time,
Because these words have hurt you so bad

I shouldn’t have shouted at you
I shouldn’t have said those words
I shouldn’t have been so tense
But even a stone can break under pressure
And maybe my heart broke too

I wanted you to understand
This hurt I am carrying in my heart
Because after all, we are family
But I guess you expected me to be strong
To take it cool when so many things have changed

My life isn’t picture perfect
My life isn’t a well-written script
That people would understand
I guess I shouldn’t have pushed it too far
And hoped you’d understand 
When the rest of the world did not

I am sorry that I am not strong enough
To take this battle as a part of life
I am sorry that I can’t forget this pain
Hurting so bad in my heart
I am sorry for all these mistakes
I am sorry I am not your perfect girl


Details | Free verse | |

The Friend Type

That's all I am
To all those guys
I'm just the friend type
Never the girlfriend type

I hate it
I hate being nothing
I hate having to be so caring
So understanding

I'll never be more
I'll rot
Just being friends with all of them
All those guys
But nothing more
The friend type is all I am


Details | Free verse | |

I'LL SMILE 4 U

Stroll through the Illest Empire
So much heat feeling like we’re living in the fire
But we’re living under fire
Tell me how many shots must it take before my loved ones are crying at my own wake
Its time for a break from sad eyes I’ve seen grown men cry
It hurts to tell a loved one good-bye
It’s the same reason why they died
Hearts just too full of pride
Mothers praying their young’n wont be a victim of a homicide
Too many drive-bys blood shed for a block you really can’t call mine
Wishing we could turn back time
High off of nickels’ and dimes
Making moves to boost your grind looking for hope
But the hustle got us in a head choke
Don’t blame me for acting crazy cause this how the streets made me and you
To watch our back and throw bows and cuss
Cause you got to be tough when times are rough
I know your asking when will enough be enough
And truth is I don’t know but this is how it goes down
But if I make it out will you smile for me now

So many families struggling with poverty
I don’t judge cause that use to be me
Watching mom come home late
Barley any food on our plate
So young and life we already hate
Praying God bring us something great
My clothes were cheap imitates and kids called you on them for being fake
Knowing mom bust her ass to provide
But all your knock offs you begin to hide
Ashamed of what you own
I know how you feel I been there too
I see mothers walking there kids to school
And the walk is far when you cant afford a car
Mom hoping one day you’ll be a star
I know about being next to poor
Your local neighborhood liquor market is your grocery store
Wishing you didn’t have to go through that living off of food stamps
Cube the neighborhood is a trap but we’ll all be free
So smile for you and me

Even 2pac said smile for me
This isn’t how its always going to be unless you let it be
In our different way we’re all a G
Cause we’re trying to make it straight legit
Whatever your hustle never quit but don’t lose yourself in it
Cause you still got a long ways to go
Still got a long time to grow
Use what you know to get by or you wont survive
Remember to always keep your dreams alive
Whatever it is just do it and never try
The limit is the sky so keep your heads held high
And when you come to a hard road just always know nothing can keep you down
You’ll be able to come back around
So give yourself a chance
And I’ll smile for you now

JUNE ‘06
B.K.M.jr


Details | Free verse | |

All I Ever Wanted

I wanted you to hold me.
I wanted you to take my hand though it all.
Why did you turn out to be so fake.
So stuck up and unreasonable.
You know, girl, he changed you.
He made you some one you're not.
I also know more about you than you think.
I love you.
And I know you had some sort of feelings.
it might have been just a little.
Maybe, even more than that.
But you just are not like that.
You don't ever want that.
You tell me all the time.
But him.
He is nothing you need.
He is not good.
He treats me like I'm nothing.
Why do you stay with him after the things he said?
After he made me shed my own tears?
Shed my own blood?
All I ever wanted for you to see that I love you.
That;
You.
Are.
My.
Life.
But now, you aren't.
Because you, ma'am.
Are a complete.
And extreme.
User. 
Goodbye.


Details | Free verse | |

Teenage Minds

When we are young we just need 
a dry diaper; to suckle a full breast
when we long for more
when we need to crawl and explore
we grab hold of the object
to stand and we fall but we strive for more

We walk we run we fall we cry
we grab hold of the object
and we strive to do more
school, sports, church
we grow more and more

We think for ourselves 
we rebel, we reject, we recant
we no longer grab hold of the object
we now push away from it

We are smarter, faster
we do not need to grab hold 
of the object

We hate the object
we detest it

Goodbye mom and dad ...


Details | Free verse | |

Memories

The first time i heard your name
The first time i heard your voice
The first time i heard you laugh
The first time i heard you say my name
These are memories so preciouse
These are memories worth tears
These are those memories that make me smile on a cloudy day
These are the memories that are worth millions
I promise to never forget if you never will
I prommise to cherish these sweet memories forever
They remind me to always keep faith 
They also remind me that god does anwser prayers
He sent me to you in my time of need
And most of my favorite memories are of you 
So let are love be a memorie for forever 

Joni Havard                                   11/22/12


Details | Free verse | |

The Love That Hurts

The greatest joy I have ever known is knowing you are calling on Monday at five thirty in
the morning before school.
"Hello, how are you?" and "I'll talk to you later."
Every word from hello to goodbye is cherished.

Your smile makes me warm inside, and how much you mean to me puts tears in my eyes.
I really think I love you. Actually, every fiber of my being is pretty sure I love you.
Warmth and acceptance and peace and deep contentment...
But there is a drawback.

I fear to loose you.
You are across the country, a thousand miles away, and I've let you down enough to
encourage you to focus on your college work, because that's important to you. and because
of that, it's important to me.

Except I can't encourage you to leave.
I can't encourage you to go.
Reader, my dear friend, as selfish as it is, I can't loose you.

I always thought that when you found the one you want to be with, the love would make
everything work.
I never expected it to hurt
Because as much as I love you, it would destroy me if you were lost. And I think about
loosing you a lot.
It's crippling, and horrid, and with something as unrealistic as daydreams, I know what it
feels like to burn. I can't imagine what it would do to me if it actually happened.

I am afraid to love you. I'm afraid to pick up the phone sometimes when you call, but not
for any amount of money in the world or any incentive would I ignore that phone.

The reason for that is that i love your laugh.
When I'm talking to you, you help clear my mind and I can think.
And the biggest reason, Reader, is because I am happy when I talk to you.

I love you. And you are precious beyond words and you are everything to me.
I have a love that hurts and it scares the crap out of me
And I wouldn't trade it for the world.


Details | Free verse | |

Does the colour red scare you

They called me diseased.
 
Mentally ill.
 
…Is it really that horrifying to “cope” this way?
 
When is reality it’s no worse than smoking or drinking
 
With those addictions you can’t see the physical damage inflicted
 
It’s all internal.
 
So why is this worse?
 
Worse than the burning of liquor as it rushes down your throat to contaminate
 
Your mind and smother unwanted thoughts,
 
Worse than the melting of your lungs with each drag
 
From that so loved ciggarette that you just can’t seem to escape
 
Even though it’s breaking you from the inside out..
 
So why is this fixation so looked down upon?
 
I don’t understand!!
 
Why is this any worse than being an alcoholic or being addicted to drugs?
 
All these cravings damage you physically!
 
Is it because the resulting affliction can be seen?
 
the external wreckage that’s coloured crimson


Details | Free verse | |

Loss

In a small green tent I reached for midnight
Above our stoned embrace my lies
Emptied in an indifferent trickle of desire
We giggled, fingering each other’s faces
The strange familiar- absurdity
In the doef-doef music and the scale of my fish-nets
Two teenage screw-ups, a clichéd poem already forming
On lips bruised with vampire kisses
With which I stroked your smile, coaxing truths on which to feed


Details | Free verse | |

Being Free

I Wasn’t enough to just be myself I had to be what you wanted of me Plastic—Mainstream—Liar Without any creativity And a façade for a personality So I Guess I Just Live a Lie Just to Satisfy And surely survive Your torment spitting opinion but then, A Semblance of the independence I held inside No matter how small it let out a cry I will redeem my pride And be perfect, free, me


Details | Free verse | |

Allie Kohaul

She is sweet.
She is bitter.
She leaves me lying with headaches
but also with understanding.
She is there for me when I'm down
and also when I'm up.
She encourages me to do things I normally wouldn't
as well as things I probably shouldn't.
She is my greatest influence
and potentially my greatest downfall.
Her scent lingers on my breath.
I crave her.
I look forward to her in the evening
but loathe her in the morning.
My mother does not approve
but she is my perfect woman.


Details | Free verse | |

Stuck

Empty.
Used up.
Used full-stop.

Much as this is true, there's more to say than ever, just
Bursting to break through,
Stuck in my head, my throat, 
Clogged up with guilt,
I refuse to be a burden but I refuse to fall back down.

Tripping round the corner, kick at the dried-up dirt,
Scuffs my worn-out shoes,
Doesn't make me feel stronger, in control,

Washing, shower the shame away,
Turn the spray up 'til the skin is burning,
Nothing sinks in deep enough,
Heart stays cold, unresponsive,
Beyond repair, this one's a write-off,

Reflection shows a pitiful display,
Innocence? Surely must be some?
Quickly smear the mask on,
They'll never know the goodness has gone,
True ugliness comes from within after all.

Life's not a dance, mine's a dancefloor,
Sorry, full now, you can't come in,
The music's dull but they've paid the entrance fee,
Stick around for a bit, no intention to stay.

Sweet somebody, I need you so bad,
It's not enough, never enough, tell me what to do,
Take over my eyes, my ears, my mouth,
Seize my senses and restore my sense,

I think too much, never a good idea
When your mind's a mess of melted guesses,
Distressing to know so many right answers
And lose all the points in the working-out,

Still only scratching the surface,
Marks so deep don't even show,
Everything aches, lie down and exhale,
So full of nothing that it can't escape,

I'm scooped out like ice-cream when it's frozen solid,
And really you should leave it to melt,
Not force in the spoon and claw it out again,
No wonder it hurts your head to eat,

There were smiles and butterflies here,
Gone now,
The memories remain, prevent starting anew,

It'd be half-empty but the rest has spilt, so I have
Nothing in my cup,
Stop it brain, just go to sleep and
Please refrain from waking up.


Details | Free verse | |

You Save Me

Some things, we dont talk about,
Some things we do.
Some things i dont tell you,
Some things you dont tell me.
Ive never almost lost you.
But you always almost loose me.
I cant help what i do.
I like to do it.
I feel dead inside without it.
But you ALWAYS save my life..
Even when im on the verge of death,
YOU save me,
And i cant thank you enough. 
And one day,
When i take my final breathe.
I know you will be right by my side.


Details | Free verse | |

A night I will never forget

Sadness drained my hazel eyes
As you reached out to help me through it all,
Surely happiness will be found again.

You held me tight through the night
Although I didn't want to be around,
You said you had to show me something
Maybe it will bring a smile to my face.

You walked me to your bedroom
and locked the door behind you,
I didn't think much of it
Even though my heart began to race.

You pushed me on the bed 
and ripped my shirt of my back,
You said it wouldn't hurt
Just to stay quiet.

I battled against your strength 
Only to be found the weaker one,
Pain forced its way inside my body,
My innocence was taken
By the one i called "friend".

My back and neck became scratch by the metal bars
That supported the bed,
My legs were bent and stretched in ways that didn't seem possible. 

When it was all over I began to cry out to God,
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. Take away all that I did wrong."


Details | Free verse | |

lost, found, and liberated

i use to lie awake at night 
and ponder of this pointless life 
up for hours and not make a sound 
i once was lost but now i am found
my sea of confusion, like moses did part
the instant i let jesus inside of my heart...
but than i let out a gigantic huge fart 
and realized it was just indigestion 
than like a sensible person, i began to question 
and out of those questions, came rational thought 
and all of the things in school i was taught 
like critical thinking and following facts 
so i came to the conclusion: religions a quack 
now i live happily, in awe of earth's mysterious beauty 
and if you don't like it, you can kiss my patooty


Details | Free verse | |

Crazy is

For me, crazy is a loose term.Crazy is when you 
stare at a pencil and laugh when someone
asks you what you are doing that is so 
interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have 
an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing 
and dancing when your favorite song comes on. 
Crazy is when you do or say a 
completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder
where the eraser bits go?" or 
having a thumb war with yourself. 
Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, 
print them off and tape them to 
your wall, just for something to do.
 Crazy is when you memorize the complete
 biographies and physical traits of every
character in Twilight (or almost, at least).
Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen
 is hot on your homework instead of doing it. 
Crazy is downloading all of Twilight and New Moon off the books on C.D.
 fromthe library, and listening to them over and 
over again.Crazy is when you first read twilight you push 
the book in every ones faces and yell out 
EDWARD. Crazy is also when you pretend to skate in your 
bathtub in your bare feet with soap. Crazy
 is when you run around the house screaming that you have 
lost your mind. Crazy is when your friends and family are 
scared of you because you are suddenly cheerful then not. 
Crazy is when all you can talk about is Edward Cullen or Troy Bolton. 
Crazy is when you have conversations with the Twilight and/or 
High School Musical actors/actresses in your head and yell, 
DON'T JUDGE ME when some one asks you what you're doing...


Details | Free verse | |

Sea Of Pretties

When I look at him,
It's like the warmest of summer days 
with the harshness of winter.
He's plastic, it seems.

He's like an immortal,
free of all mortal blemish 
behind his gleaming screen
or the camera lens.

I wish to be closer, I feel it in my bones,
But the sea parts us 
Unmercifully.
The damned natural barrier.

But when he sees me, he sees the gorgeous picture,
Oh, blasted lucky picture that graces my image.
The photo that looks nothing like me.
The charming picture.

I look thin and beautiful.
The typical man's idea of beauty.
The one that shows me with daring rebellion,
But portrays what I see as vulnerability.

So if he sees me, he won't know me.
I'll just be a passing body in the crowd.
Another sillhouette
in the sea of Pretties.


Details | Free verse | |

Fire Sky

     Winds of pain 
traverse my damaged being
     oh River of tears 
carry mine sorrow away
     crusted Earthen cave of darkness
seal away my soul
    Sea of Flame
burn away my hart
     Steel of my blade 
take mine mind away


Details | Free verse | |

Pain

Pain surrounds us Striking us every time It hurts us deeply We hope to recover soon But we never do We plunge deeper and deeper Knowing we will never get out But pain is the least of my worries I have experienced it so many times It does not bother me like it should But who knows Maybe one day I will be able to feel again Feel what I should Pain


Details | Free verse | |

In The Future Looking Back

In the future looking back,
You'll be happy to see
How far you've come
And where you are today,
So make the most of this now.


Details | Free verse | |

The Era of Decency

I was born in the wrong generation.
Raised by the smoke of a cigarette 
and drowning in my own insecurities,
I knew from an early age that I just 
did not belong.

My parents are good folks, and they 
brought me up well. I suppose yours 
did too? However, 
no matter how much nurturing and 
direction you received could not prepare 
you for what was to come.

Now we live in an era where values are 
nonexistent, and the few that are still 
imbedded in our feeble minds are less
valuable than the gum on your shoe. 

We live in a world where
Respect is a foreign concept, and is only 
given to those ready to disrespect others 
and steal their statuses.

We live in a world where young women 
are ready to work the corner rather then
the corner office.

We live in a world where innocence brands 
you as a prude, a freak, a saint, a *****.

We live in a world where being rude earns
a round of applause.

We have become victim to the defecation
that is our social norm.

How i wish we could climb out of the pit
that we have dug for ourselves.

Give me a world where i can thrill a man 
with my intellect, not my body.

Give me a world where the only obscenities
are the omissions of 'sir' and 'madam' 
when addressing an elder.

Give me a world where I can express love
to a friend with painstaking passion, and 
face my enemies with promiscuous poise.

Please, just give me a world where
people have some goddamn decency.


Details | Free verse | |

Heartbreak

Since then I couldn't
Inside my heart
Beneath my pain
I didn't have the time to heal
Underneath all that pain and all those tears
Up until now
I didn't take the step
Across all that pain you put me through

Behind me is where I want to put this heartbreak
Thoughout my life I lived hurt, scared, lost
During that time all I could think was why me

Inside me is a new fire
The fire to take the pain and become stronger
Among me is not you 
Except when I think of what you did to me
Underneath my skin
Inside my heart
Is the most terrible heartbreak yet


Details | Free verse | |

Hard Decision

I never wanted you to see this.
The darkest part of me.
Something filled with mystery and darkness.
You havent seen all of me but you have seen just enough for me to have to leave.
Im sorry but I cant let that part of me hurt you.
Im starting to care about you and that scares me.
I dont want to hurt you.
But I dont want to leave.
What should I do?
What should I do?


Details | Free verse | |

Mixed Feelings

You wanna know why I read?
I read because books are my escape.
I read because the friends I have in books are so much truer than the friends I have in real life.
I read because in books I am as breathtakingly beautiful as the heroine in the story and not a one-hundred-thirty-three pound white girl with a black girl’s ass. 
I read because the stories are either so good, I can try to wish myself into them
Or they’re so horrid they make my life look like a fairytale.
You wanna know why I read?
I read because the parents in books don’t yell at me for failing a test that I stayed up until 1 in the morning studying for
Or tell me I’m getting cellulite when its clear that I already hate the way I look.
I read because the little brothers and little sisters in books are adorably hilarious where mine are annoyingly bothersome.
I read because when my nose is in a good book, my mind is where that book is, not in the reality that is my life.
I read because the boys in books are more kind to me than the boys in my classes at school.
You wanna know why I read?
I read because I love to read.
But you wanna know why I don’t read?
I don’t read because reading is shameful in the world I live in.
I don’t read because reading is something tedious, a chore you do simply to make the grade in English.
I don’t read because the stories in books remind me just how much my life sucks.
You wanna know why I don’t read?
I don’t read because every page I turn is another homework assignment not turned in, another failing grade to show my parents.
I don’t read because every time I read I want a snack to munch on, and every time that snack is a chocolate bar I think to myself “You fat, ugly girl, you don’t need that chocolate, you know what they say: a moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips.”
I don’t read because what boy wants a girl whose prince charming is not ever going to show up on her front porch with a dozen roses and a devastatingly handsome smile?
You wanna know why I don’t read?
I don’t read because every time I finish a book that was a new obsession, I have to find one just like it and there never is one.
I don’t read because when the hero dies, so does a piece of my heart.
I don’t read because every book I read just reminds me that I’m the freak brainiac of my class, and that’s all anyone sees when they look at me.
I don’t read because the perfect characters in books make me hate my imperfect self.
I don’t read because I hate to read.


Details | Free verse | |

Dimeyes

The looks that hurt
And the feelings that burn
Attraction is seen
But the actions, absurd.
Eager enthrallment is never found hidden
But rather is seen- on the forehead is written

The effort one can give without
Ever even being recognized
Causes for bitter tries
And pain filled demise.

But look in his eyes
You'll see he feels right
Yes, look in his eyes
He feels he's in sight

He knows it in fact 
But everyone's crazy
Everyone's wrong
Or all just too lazy...

They fail to look further
To dig deep and stare
They fail to see his real needs 
They seem to not care

But he knows of the truth;
The sad little bit.
That they feel just the same
But they won't admit
Nor you, nor I, nor any other person
So we let it build up,
and the feeling is worsened.

We all scream for help
With our hesitant stares
But we all are so selfish 
Who the f*** really cares?

You, my dear friend.
You're all that you've got.
You, my dear friend.
Whether you trust it or not.

So maybe next time
You look in my eyes
You'll slowly remember
And start to recognize 
That in our dimeyes 
We never fail to hide
Our biggest life struggles 
Our reasons of pride

Let go and subside
Let go and reside
Let go for your life
Just be and let go.





Details | Free verse | |

Hanging On

One day i will let you go
but that days so far away.
why couldn't you just come into my life
to stay?
you showed me that you loved me
cared for me all the way.
now im sitting here
and you feel so far away.
I'm missing you
each and every day!
Please Come Back!


Details | Free verse | |

stuck in performance mode

panic stricken
kickin &
screamin,
beating down
sound. your
presence is
all around
surrounds each
breath like death.
she writhes, 
choking the 
confessions of
sins she
couldn't commit-
stuck in performance
mode (sit, stay).
left, no more- no
less, devoured 
by dismay.


Details | Free verse | |

old 66 mustang

This 1966 mustang that i own
It unique and thinks it has it own throne
Oh yes it drives
Thats until the engine dies
Was this car ever fast
To me it seems out classed
Since last year I've worked on this car
Everyone knows i haven't got that far
But i know it has potential
Even thought i just broke it rear end differential
It doesn't roar
And no its not like that greek god thoar
More or less its funny 
I should call it a big lovable bunny


Details | Free verse | |

Glowing Magnificence

In it's floating presence One gains hope
Through it's gorgeous glow One finds the beauty
Finding the hope to push on and See
Gaining the vision...that All is Not Lost
Floating in the it's sea of Dark
Speckled with the Lights that were Seen once
Glows the beauty of that which must BE Seen
Never Wavering
Always Moving
Shining Evermore
To bathe thee in rich Silver


Details | Free verse | |

Silent Love

Break my silence
Break my pain
Fade my memories
Stop the rain
I feel as if I'm going insane
I need my love to hold me again
I feel so hurt and broken inside
I don't know if I'm still on his mind
Does he still think of me night
Am I still his one and only light
Does he still even love me
I still love him
I wish I could be in his arms
And see him smile again


Details | Free verse | |

What is love and what is not

This time, I sing the praise of ecclesiatical love.
  Though not esoteric, thou  followers never allow
to think it beyond the sinister bodily move. 
  O' never touch it, that is a sacred cow!
which makes me wonder what is love?
  When that thing has gotten so low; i vow
there is something that i got to show.

I love my love, told my friend when i quizzed,
  cherished his nth love. But just before kissed
his (n-1)th love, ritualised the MoU and finally buried.
  Love is an ocean claimed my friend, who spews
everytime when tasted water. Deep down the ocean he dives, 
  thrives but when  reached the brackish lagoons,he skews.

Love is blind told another, when she is not bothered
  of her anorexic size zero- a licence to get tethered?
Happily abandoned their loved parents as they are feathered.
  Indeed she showered her love on her parents at an early stage
Her love just slithered when she got a posh and lovely date.

The immortal of the mortals, you named it love 
  an oaf's hormonal misfiring? galloping generaton's conduit?
smokescreen to lust? passport to brain's prostration?
  an unplugged persecution? spielberg's avtar?
a pandora's box? a frankenstein monster? a nelson's eye?
  a monkey on your back? or a touch screen monitor? 

geez! Iam still in an ambivalent mood!
  Is love - greek's Eros? chaldean's shedu?
Freud's ***** envy? oedipus complex?
  electra complex?  legitimate sex addiction?
a parent's affection, strictly and only, to their child - 
  then why the missing gender? 

Is that the worm's eye view of an eagle? or 
  just the eagle's eye view of  a worm? 
As usual, my instinct blossomed and spread the scent of wisdom
  love is a connecting wood in a ladder between the unconnected two 
love is honey in the life of a bee and a flower
  love is bliss in devotee and the divine
love is thirst for a man in the desert
  love is sugar in a juicy mix of lime and water
love is also the fuddle of a drunkard with the drink


Details | Free verse | |

Volatile Weather

When the sun shines
Ablaze and about to burst
Flames touch the tips of trees
Igniting them with shock
Bursts of excruciating contentment descends
Directing me with the courage for tomorrow
Pools of depraved memories wane
The lines of sorrow die out in the air
When the sun shines
 
When the sun hides
Unexpected clouds tumble in to color the sky ashen
Casting the shower of days gone by upon your appearance
Puddles rematerialize with a commanding poise
The reverberations of a virtuous day
Days comparable to these are when I finish most dreadful
Ambition wearing out of my body
When the sun hides


Details | Free verse | |

Living the Dream

I am living the dream.
I stand here today,
Cannot believe what I am about to say,
But I am living the dream.
At times, it's tough
And it is not always easy.
I might be condemned
For choosing this path in life;
Some may think it's too bag of a risk.
When we give it our all,
Our passion and our might,
We can overcome and forget the fear
To become who we are meant to be.
I stand here today,
Another tear ready to wipe away:
You can do all you aspire to do!
Set your mind and never give up!
If I can do it,
You can too!
I can't believe I'm about to say this,
But I am living my dreams.
I am living the dream.


Details | Free verse | |

Weightless

Gone long Missed more Come back With me Life's good So come Your weak Like me Be together Just us Gone long Even forever Return love Keep it Give it Return it Cold hands I miss Im warm So come To me Im warm Your gone No purpose No happiness No fun Come back My sunshine Hazel eyed Beautiful friend Its cold Without you Cant smile No reason I'll save My smiles For you So come Back love Missed you A lot Im happy Thank you Im light Once more Im weightless Thank you Thank you
By Nicholas Bello


Details | Free verse | |

The Radio Played

The old Ford truck was dustin’ the gravel roads that day
I was listening to some pounding seventies hits
My second bottle was about empty by my thirst

Nothing much else to do on a hot dry southern day
But drive, drink, and listen to the AM radio
Cruising the hills, hairpin curves, and old wooden bridges

On this particular day, I was feeling just fine
A pint of vodka, grapefruit juice, and a little weed
Lived so far back in the woods, that was my company

A troubled, poor loner, with an old blue pick-up truck
I had driven those back roads over a hundred times
A stop at a bootlegger and a lovely dream ride

This particular day, the tie rod end just broke loose
The steering wheel spun like a top in my fumbling hands
I dived in the floorboard as we went end over end

My Ford and I landed stuck between two cedar trees
I remember the quit ‘cept for the radio
Doors were stuck, so I kicked out the windshield and crawled out

After climbing about halfway up the embankment
I heard the radio still playing back in the truck
It was a Lynyrd Skynyrd classic, my favorite  

“Gimme Back My Bullets”

So, I went back down the hill to where the old Ford sat
I climbed on the hood and reached through the shattered windshield 
I shut the ignition off and pocketed the keys

As I started back up the embankment, I just laughed
Didn’t matter if the key was on, the truck was totaled
When I reached the road, I flagged an approaching sedan

It was two girls from school looking real scared when they stopped
Trying to look my best with blood running down my face
I said, “You ladies headed my way, by any chance?”

They looked at each other and one of them said, “Where’s that?”
Brushing the broken glass out of my long raven hair
I dusted off my shirt and the tucked it into my jeans

Looking back down at my old truck pinned between those trees
I bent down and looked in the driver’s window and smiled
“Well it don’t matter babe, as long as it’s not here.”

Ended up walking home that day, laughing all the way 

© Copyrights G. Jones 2008


Details | Free verse | |

I can't bear to be perfect anymore

I always knew something about you would fade.
Your words never could reach my soul,
But they ripped my heart in half.
With every being of who you are you tired,
And tired but it never worked.
And who I am seems to be frowned upon,
Time and time again.
I was never enough for you,
And someday you'll move on to something great,
To someone greater.
And we're gonna grow apart,
One day I'll see you somewhere and remember you.
You'll be a married man and far past us,
And it won't matter to you.
It'll still scar me and even if right now
I appear as the stronger one, it won't be like this forever.
I'm breaking down on the inside, I just don't show it.
And you don't know the control you have,
I just had to write you this so you would know,
That I'm moving on' and letting go,
Even though I don't want to.
You'll keep going about your life,
And keep regretting me like you have been,
And I've never regretted you.
I feel like I've been pushed down,
Pushed down, cut and pushed into the dumpster.
The sadness is this is no longer a poem.
This isn't a work of art,
This is a sad way of writing a letter to a lost friend,
A lost friend who shouldn't be lost. 
A lost friend who should still be mine.
But I'll give you my acceptance of moving on when it feels,
While it feels unbearable. And I've lost you.
Odds against me, I doubt I'll ever have you again.
I've never been enough for you,
And I can't bear to try to be perfect anymore.
I can't feed you the lies so I'm enough for you.
I guess I'll always be imperfect,
And unable to be yours.
Hopefully you aren't always lost;
Love and leave,
Joy and tears,
Mine and gone,
One day we'll see.


Details | Free verse | |

Guilt

It stays with you Never letting you forget The pain you caused someone The guilt Will always remain in you You can't help but be in misery Knowing you will never be forgiven The guilt Eats you alive Leaves you feeling alone Knowing you will never be able to live your life the same The guilt will always run your life And leave you hanging Scared And empty The guilt


Details | Free verse | |

Insecurity Flashback

All carefully constructed self worth is striped away
As the laughing voices breach the wall and
Tear away my identity. 
I am a gangly, awkward teenager—
	A giant in a fairy world.
I am a depressed, needy cutter,
	Sucking the light out of all conversation.
I am a dumb, useless klutz—
	A mountain troll in Hogwarts
	A blond tripping over her Chihuahua.
I make you laugh in incredulity
Then fade to the outskirts of your awareness.
I am vulnerable until your casual glance.
With no where to run from your half-hearted bullets
I die a little more to myself.


Details | Free verse | |

shannon's recourse

tick. . . tick. .  talk the time today
busy a great gather of 
basketed flowers
that might move us towards
great outlawed-metered parked cars 
ticketing themselves
and twist. . . twist your fire-hydrant wrist
while the streets look the other way
simple lack-luster 
awaits your perceptive 50’s point of view
but it’s all the daughters that decide
off which part of  concrete to part with
and wake up 
in which car to ride in


Details | Free verse | |

I Just Want To Be Me

Nobody told you life was going to be hard. All you have to do is live it and hope the moments you don't want to remember becomes blurs and the ones that stay with you make you who you are. Nothing comes easy, nothing is hard. It's what you make of it...and I just want to be me...
I'm tired of how every moment we spend thinking of how different our lives would be turns into a sob fest and we all know how this feels; so what can we do differently? What can I do differently? I’m losing me, changing and I can’t stop. No matter how hard I try. I feel like a fish out of water, gasping, trying to survive. Waiting for someone to save me! All I’m getting are flat lines showing that I am dying.
The sun is going down now, and noting is left to be said. Slowly I wait for the day to end so that I can sleep and dream the dreams where I am me again. Where I feel alive and happy; instead of a mirrored image of myself…
...and tonight I sleep with the thought that I will wonder aimlessly through the shadows searching for what use to be me finding, a person who no longer exists...


Details | Free verse | |

The Noise I Breathe

He stalks me for all but the
Short five hours of the day while I sleep.
6am, the sun rises, 
Clang, bang the pots and pans.
As grandmother cooks he creeps 
From the kitchen into my room. 

Frightened and annoyed by his disturbance, 
I awake to my daily life 
Where he continues to stalk
And sting my ears.

On the bus, in class, at home, 
He lurks every corner, everywhere. 
Anywhere you go he’s there, 
Especially when you need peace.

The air by which I am circulated, 
Is circulated by an air not of air -
But of noise. 
And after breathing in this 
Intoxicating atmosphere for eighteen years, 
The effects and suffocation cannot be
Tolerated any longer. 

If my ears were goalies, 
They would fail miserably;
None of the noise is blocked out. 
If noise was a murderer, 
He’d pierce every time – 
With no regard for the situation, 
No regard for me. 


Details | Free verse | |

Look

Look at him
Look at what you did
Are you satisfied with your work?
Are you satisfied that he won't be able to love again?
Look
He sits there
Never saying a word

Thanks to you
He sits there
Broken hearted
Denying the agony you put him through
Look
At your work
At the treacherous lost
You have now inspired
To transpire true
Look


Details | Free verse | |

what teenagers know

young love...time to learn ahead of time so the real world isnt so tough.
your taste, your smell, your love and caress
keeps me coming back for more.
spending time in your bed or maybe mine
16 and kicking
cuz adults think we think we know everything.
they understand they taught us their tricks right?
cuz avoiding us kids is just as easy as avoiding your parents.


Details | Free verse | |

You Gave Me All

I sit here now and think of you,
Of all the things you put me through,
Through thick and thin, the good, the bad,
Of each experience that we had.

You saw me to the very end,
A broken heart, that's hard to mend.
I know you thought I didn't care,
I saw you through a numbing stare,

But you're the one I found was true,
And I was lucky to have you.
You gave me peace amongst the war,
I thought that's what my friends were for.

You told the truth when others lied,
You calmed me down, my patience tried.
You taught me how to always win,
To swim the waters I was in.

Devotion was next on your list,
For I still feel our true first kiss.
Compassion, tolerance, and love,
Were sent with you from up above.

I can see it in your eyes,
And with one's strength, The other flies.


Details | Free verse | |

Dead

Love Is Dead
Hope Is Dead
Trust Is dead
Death is dead
Privacy is Dead
Liberty is Dead
God is Dead
Nietzsche is Dead
I'm Dead
You're Dead
He's Dead
She's Dead
We're dead
Don't you want to be Dead too?


Details | Free verse | |

One-sided Affair

Are you mad at me  
or are you mad at the fact 
that you never noticed? 
Although You felt 
an unbearable  pain
you never considered 
my emptiness and desolation

Time after time we bicker
and you preach
about what you believe is true
but how could you know
if you never asked me 
Why I did what i did

Yet you blamed me 
and said it was all 
my fault
As i watch our friendship end 
all the warm memories 
become the distant past

And you never opened your  eyes 
to realize 
why i cried the tears i cried
if had only asked.


Details | Free verse | |

Too much for me

The Stress is too much
The pain it causes me
I don't know how I handle it
I try and try
but it just gets worse
day by day I hurt from the pain
Trips to the doctors
Trips to the hospital
It gets too hard for me
How can I (a girl at 16),
deal with something so stressfull
It's too much


Details | Free verse | |

Fight with me

To leave 
Or to stay
To fight
Or destroy

Never meant 
Never intend
Never wanted
It all to fall

So it starts
So it ends
so its racing to defend

Angry words left unsaid
Lonely hearts still searching on
Fight fought with all might
Seemingly lost beyond all trust

Halo keeping all safe
Fading into mirky skies

Stood and fought
For hours
Hurt and pain it brought

But promise made
Promise kept
Never to be left alone
Always taught 
Not to let it fade

It was strong
Feeling weak
It was whole
Feeling broken

What happend
What fell
What made it all
Turn and run
What sounded 
The end of round bell?

When did it dwindle
Where did time go
When did we turn
To what we never were
Never wanted to be

A bitter sight?
A deadly sound?
A problem child?

Forever loyal I will fight
Forever true I will stay
Forever at ur back I will be
Come hell high water 
And the 7 seas

It now is your call
Stay 
Or run
What ever it may be
This is my promise 
This is my plea
Hold on
And fight WITH me


Details | Free verse | |

Freyja

 
Surging through this lifeless Body of mine Mania, Euphoria, Freyja Never let me run dry I am lost by your Sigh But I cannot cry What Is this coming over me this everlasting energy Never cease this utmost surprise I graciously prithee Sorcery of Insomnia Caught in Mania Only for Freyja Her Golden one Is Burning out Deranged Am I? Faster, Only Faster Harder, Only Harder In Bizarre Light I hold myself to another Flame Torturous Fun of this Game Sorcery of Insomnia Caught in Mania Only for Freyja Her Golden one Is Burning out Deranged Am I? Sensuality to it's new Peak Running again from the Fake obsolete Euphoric, Erotic All you want All you Desire Sorcery of Insomnia Caught in Mania Only for Freyja Her Golden one Is Burning out Deranged Am I?


Details | Free verse | |

Life On The Street

Dried up like a reservoir
In the mid summer heat
The cracks in the ground
Are like
The life lines, upon my face
I have weathered many a storm
As if
I have lived a 100 lifetimes,
Instead of one! 

Bare, rough, dirty feet
Shoes are hard to come by,
These days
Unless, I steal them!
But, then I will become a target
Having something new
It will get stolen from me
By some other gang
Or by some cruel and nasty person!

“Bare feet it is!”
“Less problems, this way!”
Feet are made for walking
I will use them
For what
They are made for!
“Now let’s get something to eat, I am starving!”

Loitering around Hungry Jacks and Macca's
Asking people 
As they walk out
With their hot, delicious, fresh food
For a gold coin or two
Dumpsters and bins
Look nice, today!
Only half eaten, stuff
A lot of wastage!
“Not the freshest stuff, but hey!”
Make do, with what we have!

The sun is shining today
Not sure where to wash though...
Water is scarce, thank god for public toilets
They sure come in handy!
They say it is fun
And you are lucky to have freedom!
But, 
It is a lie we tell ourselves
To remain ignorant
To pretend, we don’t give a damn
But, inside, 
We really do!

For you see ,
There are sacrifices
To the choices you make
When you have to live them, out
“Don’t be a fool!”
Life is no fairytale, on the dirty streets of hell!

During the day, 
The city lights up
It glitters 
As if
It were made out of gold!
It comes alive with people
Rushing here, rushing there, rushing everywhere
Not really knowing, what 
They are presently, doing 
People reminding me of robots, sheep and zombies
Acting as if they are in control of everything
When in fact, they are not!

"Who knows what is around the corner?"
"What is coming, your way!"
Life is unpredictable,
"Beware!"

“Don’t be mislead by the fakes, around here”
“There is plenty of them!”
Eyes are on you,
Down every alley way
Standing on every corner
Watching you
"You, are in ‘our territory’ now!"

“Hold onto your bags tight!”
For, 
I may be lurking behind you
One minute there,
Next minute gone!
It is the nature of the game
As
I snatch and grab your bag
When I see you off guard
Taking your money
Claiming it, as my own
You see,
I need it to survive on!
I'm banking on you, being rich!
I told you
This place is a hell hole
And, 
I meant it!

This dark place
Full of shadows and conscious deceit
Will swallow you up 
Eating, you alive!
You will lose your way
In its pit of endless darkness
There is no Prince Charming’s, out here!
There is no one to save you
There are only damsels in distress
Like me!

No one
Comes to your aid
When you need it the most
You could diminish and disappear one day
Within a blink of an eye!
Without a hint 
Nor trace of you, left behind
No one will see it happen
Because
No one
Opens their mouth up, around here!
So,
Love and appreciate, one another!
Care for yourself and care for others!
Tell your loved ones 
'you love them' often
And,
‘Enjoy' 
The home, you live in!


Details | Free verse | |

Yesterday

A young girl sobs for all she's lost.
She's not who she used to be.
The blade is her release.
Her heart shattered to pieces. 
She wonders why me?
She hesitates.  
Her fears overpower her,
pulling her further from humanity. 
Her tears flow. 
She cuts deep.
She's hopeless, she's already given up.
Darkness once her best friend, 
has become her greatest enemy. 
Crimson flows.
She's done. 
She's lost her way, 
traveled to far and can't find her way out. 
She's doomed. 
She's.... going to be Yesterdays news.


Details | Free verse | |

Life in the Past

None of us know how the story ends,
That's what makes life so complicated.
Should we live like there's no tomorrow?
Love like we'll never get hurt?
Accept ourselves for who we are,
And accept others for their differences?
Admit we are wrong and be humble when right?
No, it will never be like this,
We are too busy living in the past,
Rather than living for our future.


Details | Free verse | |

Kill Me

That's all I want
To die
To suffer
I want to know what it feels like
To know how all those I love, suffer
To know how much it hurts
Kill me

That's all I ask
Kill me slowly, and painfully
Revealing how much pain I can be in
Kill me are the two words
The words that linger on my lips
Kill me now
Or I will do it myself


Details | Free verse | |

Just One Drink

What did she say when you told her you still loved me?

Did she turn away or try to disagree

Did you think about her or how she would be?

No you were only thinking about me.

 

She stands there now, all alone

Facing her fears of the unknown

Turning her head on what she's once known

Realizing now, she's on her own

 

With no one around to help her choose

She stands her ground, not ready to lose

Her head held high while hearing the news

To accept her fate, she must refuse

 

She tries and tires with all her might

To win you back every night

She has no plans to give up the fight

Any hope is out of sight

 

Her heart is now filled with hatred 

Will all the love that you desecrated

With just that one sentence that you stated

Her entire life is now dated

 

Did you ever stop and try to think,

Just how far she would sink?

How close she was to the brink?

Or how it could all end with just one drink?

 

Just one drink to end all the pain

Just one little sip to break the chain

Just one to do the job, to her disdain

Just one and she will die in vain. 

 

You don't even care to attend her funeral

To you she was just a girl that you could treat cruel

How could you be such a fool?

You don't even know of the fire you've fueled. 

 

You come to my door and ring the bell

You send thousands of messages to my cell

Repeatedly the words "I LOVE YOU" you yell

But for all I care you can just go right on to hell 

 

I don't want you anymore you Silly boy

I am no longer your stupid little toy

As for the loneliness you feel now, I hope you enjoy

Because you had your chance and my love you destroyed. 

 

I am my own person without you

I no longer rely on your every move

I am no longer clueless on what to do

I know now I can move on to someone new.

 

As for the girl that you threw aside

I hope you think of her every time you cry

You're the whole reason that she died

If you wanted someone to love, she would have been there by your side. 

 

She would have loved you the way you love me

But you never opened your eyes and seen what there was to see

I'll never love you no matter how hard you plea

So wallow in your self pity, you'll get no remorse from me

 

I hope you drown in your misery

Thank God that sad little girl is finally free

Thank God I knew it was time to flee 

This is goodbye, so don't bother calling me.


Details | Free verse | |

A Schizophrenic Poem

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm a schizophrenic
And so am I

I hear voices,
They tell me what to do.
Sometimes I listen,
But they want me to kill you.

I don't want to do it,
It wouldn't be fun.
So listen to me
As I suggest you run.

Run so I can't follow
So these voices won't make me take your life.
Run far away
So I don't have to use this knife.

I also have Multiple Personality Disorder
One part of me doesn't want to kill you
But the other part of me does.
I want to slit your throat and watch you bleed.
I will eat your dead corpse
And feed your bones to the pigs
And crush your skull to give to the field mice.


Details | Free verse | |

The Moment

The moment
When your life flashes before you
Do you then realize what you've missed out on in life
Do you then realize who you true friends were
They didn't leave you behind
Every time you walked
Or totally ignore you to stare at their boyfriend
Though you get the whole boyfriend girlfriend thing
You shouldn't have to feel like a third wheel
Let alone a burden
The moment when you life comes to an an end
Do you then realize you never really lived
Do you the realize how scare you were to open up
To give someone your heart
And let alone fall in love
The moment when your time to go arrives
Do you realize that no one will miss you
The moment


Details | Free verse | |

'Written in Stone' parts 1 and 2

Part 1
I write and write, but nothing changes/ I scream and scream, but my voice is silent/ I feel my life is written in stone/ Carved and written by my blood and bones/ You laugh and laugh, I think silent suicide/ You become ashes and smoke, your my cyanide/ You feel your life is written in stone/ We try and try, and we continue to try and strive/ We learn and learn, but as arrogant as a primitive tribe/ Our future, destiny, and life is written in stone/
Part 2
I read the stone slowly/ To analyze the thoughts and process life as I get older/ I understand the written language/ Because it is my thoughts and my soul/ That make me the fish out of the bowl/ I gasp for life, each second becomes precious/ I cannot escape what makes me... me/ I bleed upon the stone, which is written by my own blood/ When will the scar heal/


Details | Free verse | |

Lucky Me

They always used to say “You’re so lucky”
If only they knew the truth
What happens behind closed doors
The kids who think I’m weird
I shouldn’t be so upset
My life is perfect
One sibling, two dogs, parents who are still together
Lucky me
Walking on eggshells
Trying not to give him a reason to notice me
Lucky me
Hiding the bruises
Always so hard to sit down
Lucky me
Trying to live up to impossible standards
Trying not to let him see me cry,
To see me weaken
Feeling his hand across my face
The sting of the slap lingering for hours it seems
Lucky me
Having to claim this man as my father
The one who should love me the most
All I want is for him to say he’s proud
Well I can’t try any harder
Why doesn’t he love me?
Why am I his personal punching bag?
I just can’t take it any longer
The thoughts of suicide pulling me in
More inviting every day
Like a warm blanket engulfing me
They always say “lucky you”
Yeah. Lucky me.


Details | Free verse | |

Storm

Layers and layers of cloud
Fill the sky to the brim
Just as thoughts of you
Fill my mind.
The fact that no matter
What I do,
Or what I say,
Nothing will change your feelings.
Deep, heather gray clouds
Blow in with the occasional gust.
I smell the rain brewing,
But do not care.
Water falls
In sheets,
And I am soon blanketed
In rain, and
Grief.
The drops hit my cheeks,
And burn as they slide down.
Forming behind my eye
Is a different kind of drop.
It escapes,
Runs its course down my cheek,
And trickles around the
Ridges of my mouth,
Leaving a salty taste.
As the tear hits the ground,
A blast of thunder sounds-
Heartbreak.


Details | Free verse | |

The Beast

Anger.
Cutting, biting, shaking.
Anger.
Itchy, burning, ripping, tearing.
Anger.
Burning, searing, blaring.
All I want to do is scream.
Walk away, walk away.
Live or die another day.
Walk away, breathe deep.
Watch everything you say.
The blade falls deep
Cutting down as I weep.
I hold my breath and take a step
Trying to walk away.
But a monster surges again
And I’m right back where I started again.
Anger.
Twisted, surging to swallow me whole.
As your face
I rip away with every blow.
Until your blood
Covers my face. 
Your existence
I’ll erase.
And I cry here when I’m done
This pitiful thing I’ve done.
Monster within
Lurking just under my skin.
Monster,
Killer, psychotic, other side.
Monster,
This monster, the one I hide.
Anger,
Always anger.
A scar,
A monster within.
This terror-fed,
Blood-thirsty beast lurking just under my skin.


Details | Free verse | |

Need It To End

I just want it to end,
I just cant keep a friend. 
I just need it to end. 
Theirs no more time to spend. 
I have lost it all,
And now im stuck in this little ball.
I cant move,
I just need to prove,
How much stronger i can be,
How i dont need to plea,
Just to be free. 


Details | Free verse | |

Sponge

Its effects run in you
Always through you
And when you’re not careful,
It can go all the way down
If you clench it hard enough
It almost squeezes back
Ripping at your everything.

In the moment it wrenches you
And you play dead for a while
Until you’re back to reality
And it releases your smile.
It’s not as bad as you thought
You’re not as bad as you thought.
Squeeze yourself,
Releasing all that needs to be said and done
Tempt yourself
For you’re not the only one.

Inside it feels like heaven
And you’re tempted to look inside
If you do, you’ll have to rip at it
Is the cost worth the price for knowledge?
It’s opened…
You see everything
But like a child, the gift of sight is blinding
You’re scared of this new beauty
You can’t understand 
There’s an adjustment with time
And you feel alive.
If you accept it’s will
The rest will come full circle,
Don’t lose your battle
For the worst thing that comes 
Is happiness, beyond good judgment…


Details | Free verse | |

In Vain

It's funny how when you show some one so much love that you can't stand to be away from them. How showing them love makes you go loopy and you get high off it. Well trust me when I say don't give all of your love away cause if you do it might put you in vain and you will feel like no one cares. So trust me dont give all your love away or you'll be in vain for a long, long time.


Details | Free verse | |

Slipping Away

Time is slipping away,
I just don't want to stay.
Why can't you just let me stray,
The world of Black and White, has so much Gray.

Depressing days come and go,
My heart is broken, I'm all alone.
The world turns their backs and ignores nobody can know,
My heart without it's very own.

Days grow darker each minute,
I never wanted to be so deep in it.
I'm just stuck in this little pit,
Just another blow, another hit.

I lay in a ball on the dirt of my friend's grave,
Rain falling on my skin the weight, how can i be saved.
The mud that changes the dirt, stains my clothes,
This depression in my cold heart, every second it grows.


Details | Free verse | |

You never believe me, Do you?

You never believe me
You never do
So what’s the point of loving you? 
If you don’t even care I do?
In that collapsing moment
In that lack of care, of believe
I shouted and yelled 
It’s like I’m talking to someone with no ears
I repeat my words yelling louder
Louder to seize my right, my existence!
As I threw rubbishing words at you
And said it with all my heart: I don’t love you!
I’m afraid I might lose you, but I think I already did
You speak to me “you wait for us to arrive home to eat 
With us and instead we cause you problems”
I exploded in rage, protecting my actions
But you never listen, do you? 
As I repeated the single line, again and again 
And in the end, you just said:
“You arrive home, fight together, so why shall I wait for you?”
My heart and mind just fell into throbbing sadness
You never listen!
Do you? The tears of truth just kept falling down my face
Asking what did I do!
Either you’re deaf, or you ignore everything I say
It is as I never talked to you
You call yourself “stupid” for buying me some sweet I like
I said thank you, without hearing the last part
I realized what you have said
I threw the spoon!
You took me out of appetite; you took me out of life
I explained again and again, heading to my room
I inhaled, exhaled, and acted for you
With red-face madness and “sanity”
After for all, you just said: go put Quran 
But I just told you, I don’t know where the CD is?
Go put it yourself! I don’t want to put anything!
“I do not love you!”
You closed the door gently
As I came to this desk, and wrote all what my heart had said
So you either just listen, or ignore me just liked the others did
I needed a hug…
I needed a kiss…
But I just wrote…, 
All that my heart can confess


Details | Free verse | |

Cutting Class

Why did I decide to do it this time?
Was I overwhelmed? Do I just not care?
You don’t understand
This structure offers me no air 
You want to hold my hand
To cut down and share my responsibilities
Lock away all of my distractions with hidden keys
So that I can thrive among the sheep
And every night lay me down to sleep
To dream of mediocrity

It’s not that I don’t care
But I’ve been down the road of A’s and perfect GPA’s
And all those gold stars
 Keep you from realizing you can go elsewhere
“Good job, right o! Off to college you go!”

See, I understand the system
I’m fortunate and in position
To squeeze into your definition
Of certified success
 and should strive for nothing less
But I don’t fit down this shoot
To those who do; I salute

And I understand your frustration
Borne from this unfair situation of my creation
I know you think I just can’t see
Beyond this phase of insecurity
But I will never want
To take my predetermined place
Secured unfairly at the head of this race

So I guess you have the right to scream and yell
But you should know it just won’t quell
The righteousness I feel despite your misery
When you again hear that I’ve been skipping history



Details | Free verse | |

Dance

My baby
My precious
My warm and glowing light
I cannot seem to sleep at night
For dreaming while I'm awake.

I dream of the kindness I see in your eyes
And I yearn to be able to hold you.
I dream of what Dubai is gonna look like
And how happy I think I'm gonna feel
Complete.
Content

Radiant.

Over and over I say your name, and only because it brings its you I've fallen in love with.
Suki
My Suki
You
are my
Suki!
Lol, my friend I can't say it enough and I absolutely love it.
Love you.

Aw man, if ever there were words, I'd sing them to you.
If only there were actions that showed you strong enough, I would do nothing else but
dance them for you.

But let me tell you this, my sweet love.
I have my whole life to sing
My whole life to dance
My whole life to dream.

And I want nothing more than to spend my life doing those things with you.


Details | Free verse | |

Wishing just isn't enough anymore

I wish love was enough.
I thought it was enough, how stupid could I be? 
But what I thought was love is now just a distant memory.
One that got the best of me.
 
It took away my thoughts, my days, and my nights.
Hell, a lot of the time it even took away my apitite.
I lost focus, sleep, and a good grip on the real world.
I was blinded from everything and protected by nothing.
For a while I was stupid enough to believe the lies my heart had told.
 
I thought your hugs said it all,
but now that I can recall, your kiss tasted like diaster.
Now that I've tamed my heart, my emotions are no longer my master.
I had always thought we'd be together one day in perfect harmony,
I realize now that all your words were just lies you fed to me.
 
I thought I was your 'Ride or Die' but now you call me a whore,
I don't even know who you are anymore.
I've been fed lie after lie- I'll call you out on every one, I'm not shy.
So you say you love me, what's your name again?
Why should I believe you, your credbility is a zero out of ten.
 
Don't act like I should feel sorry for you, because I don't.
If I'm the only thing in your pathetic life going right,
shouldn't you try to keep me happy with all your might?
I used to be blinded by the thought of forever, but now you've opened my eyes
    up to see, I don't need you for me to be happy with me.
 
When we fought and I caved, I'd come back and cry "I'm sorry babe, I love you"
Now that I've finally caught you in your lies, you want to say "I'm sorry baby and I love you too"
I used to be blinded by your role,
but I pray for you now because sometimes wishing isn't enough to save a soul.
 
What I thought was love got the better part of me.
But now I'm glad that my heart has made me see
You messed up and I hope you know it; no one will ever love you like I thought I did.
Not even your own kid.
 
Yeah, I know my words hurt, but yours did too.
You lied everytime you said "I love you boo".
At least I'm the one here who has always confessed or told the truth,
I'm so sick of you now I just want to knock out your every single tooth.
 
I used to be blinded by love, 
But now that I'm not, I'm as peaceful as a dove.
I hope these words hurt, and if they do it means I've done my job right.
I'm okay about losing you without a fight.
And to be honest? I'll sleep better from now on at night.


Details | Free verse | |

Our hearts

They are delicate Yet strong They break easily But easily heal when they find another Our hearts It's all we have To feel The pain The misery Or the happiness They may get hurt, but they recover awfully quick Our hearts Is what allows us to fall in love Our hearts Is all we have Allowing us to be ourselves


Details | Free verse | |

Permanent Wave

inhuman torture
in a beautician's chair
willingly self-inflicted
hopeful of the outcome

childhood dismay
hair curled on rollers
hooked by wires
to monstrous machine
relentless weight

aftershock 
embarrassment
head cap of electric frizz
fright wig extraordinaire
Li'l Orphan Annie's twin 
staring back from the mirror

no way to undo it
endure, wait it out
pray for rapid growth 
and a new haircut
 
stay-at-home phobia
creative head coverings
adolescent lament


     Published Online
Golden Aspen Publishing
    September, 2005


Details | Free verse | |

If You Only Knew

Dustin, 
My best friend, My x boyfriend, and the one I’m still in love with.
I know I have a boyfriend and he just happens to be your best friend too, but if I had the chance to tell you everything I would.
You and I still love each other like we did 3 years ago, but there’s nothing we can do about it.
I cant leave my boyfriend because I to scared of everything that will happen. 
I do love him and I do love you, but Who do I love more?
The one weekend I Saw you this year was the best weekend I've ever had.
We walked around like there was nothing else going on in the world.
The biggest smiles on our face, My lipstick on your lips, and the love in our eyes.
You and I even sang together on the park bench for the world to hear.
Shinedown is our favorite band because we both fit like perfect puzzle pieces in all their songs. 
I can't describe the way you made me feel with your big blue eyes, and the way you lifted me up like I was as light as a feather.
I know people might say if I love you so much then why don't I leave him. 
My answer is simple: I'm scared of being hurt… again.
Sure, every girl is sacred of a heart break but this girl? 
The bipolar , depressed, starving, love hungry, emotional, girl isn’t just scared she's terrified.
I do I love my boyfriend, but I don’t know who I love more.
Sure Dustin you broke up with me on my birthday 3 years ago, but we all make mistakes.
So for this years birthday you got me a beautiful “J” necklace, the color of my birthstone.
I know it might not sound like that makes up for it but the way I feel with you makes me feel invincible.
Every night we would go up to the hill, smoke a cigarette, and just hold each other. 
So if I had the opportunity to tell you  one thing that I regret not telling you.
It's that I love you and the way you make me feel more then everything in the whole world... except for Tyler, my boyfriend.
I'm sorry Dustin.


Details | Free verse | |

Have You Ever

Have you ever stopped

Just to smile?
Have you ever seen anything
As picture perfect 
As a Thomas Kinkade painting
Or a Robert Frost poem?
Have you ever just
Taken a moment 
To not let it out,
But just let it go?
Have you ever stepped forward
To understand what others haven't?
Have you ever taken a step back
To let others catch up?
Have you ever been thought of 
As inspirational
For just being thoughtful?
Have you ever been inspired 
By that special song?
Have you ever considered 
That you have saved a life
Just by living?
Have you ever cried 
Because the love of one person 
Could be so beautiful?
Have you ever
Taken the time 
To just...

Smile?


Details | Free verse | |

To Which I Have Been Blessed

So I just want to live this life to the fullest
To which I have been blessed.


Details | Free verse | |

Looking

looking here
looking there
take a breath 
scared to death
of the what is happening
waiting for the ending
trying to see
everything you've done to me
in a better light
trying to make it all alright
but I can't take away the hurt
feeling like dirt
the silence between us
the lost trust 
going day by day
trying to find my way
away from here
to a place I shall not fear
where I will not shed a tear


Details | Free verse | |

Young Apathy

Deep scent of ennui
touches the young
who refuse to see
the beauty around them.
Time reined in the Muses,
put out the flame of the bards,
and extinguished awe of science.


Details | Free verse | |

Oh Poor Cable Man

Stomp Stomp 
Why are stomping?
You don't even live here!
Mutter Mutter
Would you stop muttering?
It's not making yourself look too sane
Stomp Stomp Skip
Watch out for that boot toe
We wouldn't want you falling on your crazy face
Mutter Mutter Curse Word
Hey Hey now! Don't make me kick you
Do you think I like your butt being here? There are things to do
Stomp Stomp
Oh, now you want to talk decently?
"This should fix everything - You're getting an amplifier"
Mutter Mutter
Now it's I who is muttering
Disagreement This will work for a couple of days
Stomp Mutter
We're both unhappy
This relationship can't continue much longer
Mutter Stomp
Yes I guess I'll call you
See you next week. Buh Bye now
Stomp Stomp 
Oh well hello! You're back
I was worried about you
Mutter Mutter
Hey Hey now! It's not my fault!
you work for them.


Details | Free verse | |

Are you missing me!

I sit here in this room all afternoon
Wondering about you
If you’re okay if you’re alright
If you’re missing me yet
Cause I am missing you

My mind is racing all the time
With thoughts of you and me
I try to push them back
But they won’t leave me alone

So I sit up late at night and watch
The moon
Knowing that you’re looking
At that same moon
At the same time
And wonder if you’re missing me
Cause I am missing you


Details | Free verse | |

I Didn't Mean To

I didn't mean to hurt you
I didn't mean to crush you
You said you loved me
I took those as open words
I didn't believe
Believe a truly amazing guy like you
Would fall in love with a girl like me
I hurt you 
Caused you pain
Yet you claim you still love me
You say it wasn't my fault on what you did
But it is
It is truly my fault 
If only I didn't avoid you
I should've payed attention
I would've been able to avoid the outcome
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
But I'm a lousy terrible person
You disagree
But it's true
I didn't mean to
Mean to hurt you


Details | Free verse | |

The New Me

When your eyes I see
I catch a reflection of the new me
when I see your expression
it's as if God has taught me a life-long lesson.

what is this lesson?
You wanna know?
It's that I remain
beside the brightest glow

the light that you are
has left me scarred
with happiness and protection
as you have taught me this lesson

In the mirror
I take another look
you have opened my life's book
because for the first time
I can call you mine

The look on your face
shows there isn't a race
I've found where I belong
so I'll be with you life-long.


Details | Free verse | |

Small Little Victories

If we break life down into small little victories,
It won't be long until the battle is over,
And before we know it,
The war will be won.


Details | Free verse | |

The Birth Donor

Stop starting a fire and feeding the fire that you can't even put out. 
You know you are being bluntly dumb founded and stupidly ignorant.
There are countless words to say.
You know that we are right but, you don't even comprehend 
what she is trying to get her point across!
I'm pretty sure your Mother taught you better than that.
The whole argument is irrelevant if you can't spell correctly 
Don't you worry your pretty little heart, because you will not ruin our Family relationship!
I rather go and be something of myself, than be exactly like you
It's kinda funny you are trying to put up this big fight. 
Your words can't hurt me because I'm better than that
Drama was meant for the lamas 
Sooo save It all for a different baby mama! 
The list could go on for hours, so don't even try
You are only getting feed words, , I do suppose
Seeing how you are both uneducated makes tho, more of a target!
You only make me frustrated I have had enough with all the BS


Details | Free verse | |

Grant A Goofy Summer

Chant a goofy summer
That will embrace us until
The month turns to September 

June bugs dwindling from the ceiling 
Chanting a musical summer
That will soon be struck by lightning
Enlightening our sparkling souls 

Chant a silly summer
That will embrace us until
The month turns to September

It casted May away...swarming
June tells it to wait till next year
Though it's a bit impatient 

It's already in the middle of June 
It's June 24-- what a lazy, thriving month
It's summer already...am I ready to go take risks?

Chant a tune upon my lazy, triumphed month 
Send it away...into the Chariot's wagon 
embrace us until I can't take it any longer...give me a chastening ride 
of dashing happiness
Until the month turns to June

It's already in the middle of June 
It's June 24-- not a day to screw up
It's summer already!
Could I take my marvelous risks? 
We could ride our bikes on the rolling waves...or do something 
creative 

Oh who gives a hoot...let's go shoot
A chicken or some bottles left on the cement ground 

Oh who gives a rat's butt
Let's be fools and reject any school offers

June is the time to yield some excitement 
It's a great time to grant a dazzling time of our life
But it chants a tune that strikes at us if we do anything inappropriate

It casted May away...swarming
June tells it to wait till next year
Though it's a bit impatient
No more being a thirteen year old coward 

It's time to look forward 
To a goofy summer
To grant foolish food fights 


Details | Free verse | |

Desperation takes control

She's locked in silence and fear, behind that cold glass wall. She tries with all her might to not give into her darkest temptations. And grab that stealy cold blade, and watch as her blood comes pouring out. She lays in desperation waiting... For nothing. For everything. Her desperation takes over, begins to control her. She cries out in anguish. Let's it all flow out. Tears, Blood, Love, Family, Her Life. It all comes out in one swift motion of her best friend. Her razor blade. She closes her eyes and clenches her teath. Wishes it would all go away, but she knows there's not such thing. Grew up wanting to die, it was so hard. Wishing she could be normal like everyone else. All she wanted is not to be locked in a box full of emotions. Blood flows down her arm and all she hears is her silent sobs. Watches her life pass infront of her. She fades in and out. Laying in her pool of desperate, worthless blood. One more breath, those last words. I love you mom and dad.


Details | Free verse | |

Emptyness

Night By Night
Day by Day
My mine swirling in continous confusion
Searching for a soulful melody 
That would feel that empty position

A staircase that takes me to a place of no where
A door that is open
Though it does not promise a place of growth, comfort, and acceptance
Rather a place that is indescribable
No one person can describe its power

A place of silence
A noticable place of tranquility
But by creating its tranquility
The tranquility is disrupted
A place that controdicts itself

A place we all find ourself lurking upon
A road that we are forced to travel
Yet a choice that we make
A choice that will possibly lead us to self incrimination

A door, a room, a space that we are left to design
To alter, to perfect, to make a haven, a paradise
But by creating this paradise, we may be forced 
To fail, to die, to burn
And learn from previous mistakes

An oppurtunity to transform your world from
Inconsistancies and disappoints
To a world of 
Fortune and ultimate fame
Or easily vice versa

A key is offered unexpectedly 
Into this full but empty apartment
Of love


Details | Free verse | |

Catch the Drift

Steal a bit of me.
Because I'm handing out precious treasures 
In return for love.


Don't believe, 
Just carry on
Through the pain
The confusion,
And the rain that burns in your eyes. 


I get lonelier
And emptier,
I think. 
But emptier still.
There's no magic eraser
To wipe out my unknown existence
And the scars.
And the screams,
There's no magic eraser.


Drift like a corpse
In the sea that's the world
Pale, 
Lifeless
Heartless. 
Till you sink to the bottom
Or get devoured by the monsters
Flesh-hungry monsters.
There's no magic wind
Coming to take you to the sky
Where those angels look down and smirk.


So carry on. 
Move on. 
Till you get your strength. 
Recover.
Hold on to this.
There's beauty the in abyss too,
Barren as it is.


Details | Free verse | |

a feeling so secure

Winter… The memories flood back with this season each year.
You were so warm in my desolate cold world.
My crushed spirit was mended with your touch.
Two lost kids, looking for an answer.
We had thought we found it within each other.
A simple glance said it all.
No thinking about tomorrow, all we need is today.
Adolescent longing for what we could not have.
All of it kept at bay with the promise or our love.
All of it swept away with one swift move of dishonesty.


Details | Free verse | |

Imperfection's Beauty

A world only meant for perfection
Sophie can Hardly Breathe
Have you ever thought about Imperfection's Beauty?
Don't Look to the east, stay here with me

We are The Sick
We Are The Chosen
Just to see--Just to be
Imperfection's beauty 


Details | Free verse | |

september weekend.

sharp september winds,
that slice underneath my sweater.
chilling my skin,
whipping my hair.
yet i am happy.
to hear laughter instead of crying,
to smell marijuana and cigarettes,
feeling freedom again.
after being so tired of weak bodies hanging around,
its nice to have an excuse to put lipgloss on,
to work with friends,
slapping meat on the barbeque to hear it pop and sizzle.
summers dead,
the depression of fall has set in.
and hear i am.
not upset.
dare i say im happy?


Details | Free verse | |

Sometimes

Sometimes, I wonder what we could be
'Cause sometimes, it's not that hard to see the lies
That hide behind your chocolate eyes.

And sometimes, it's your arms I want to be in,
And hell, I know it's one hell of a sin
But you make m feel safe, and you make me feel fine.
And sometimes, I wished I was calling you mine.

Sometimes it's just hard to say goodbye,
And sometimes I see the way you lie
Th way you hide what you feel inside.

Sometimes, I wish it were you and me,
But I know that it could never be.
We'r two broken souls with two broken bodies
With two crazy minds, and two well-honed hobbies.

Expression's not something we lack,
We just show it in our own little knack.
Be it lines or words, or little tunes,
I know what it is you say
And sometimes I hurt on days like today,

When no one's around, 
And it's just you and me,
And that sweet little soul you do let me see.

That soft side you show,
To make me smile.
To make it feel alright.
For a small little while.

And then it's time for us to part.
Two broken bodies,
Two shattered hearts.


Details | Free verse | |

One Moment

Time's aerial longings
etch inside the eyes of
the hopeful
Streaming boundaries
beyond
that which is unfit
to be stopped



...but in one moment 
everything lulls
to hear the words
"I love you"


Details | Free verse | |

No More Screaming, Dave

Ahhh! - I screamed out
I increased my volume...then
PEOPLE LOOK AT ME
As if I was crazy... 
Embarrassing, isn't it? 
I'm chillin' for now...thank GOD -
I'm relaxin' and hopin' my friend doesn't scare me again...
Okay...okay she wins...she wins...
she scared me out of my wits
I throw my fits... i'll forget about it
And possibly forgive her too...
But that was cruel :) in a wicked way
At least that made my day... ha.ha.
But, she seriously made me jump and scream 
About 10 times today...what a dismay...what can I say?
It was hilarious to her...but it was giving me a bad reputation... 
no more screaming, David... for CAT'S SAKE!


Details | Free verse | |

Ashes

Anger lives inside of you
REsiding in your heart
Bitterness controls your actions
lonliness consumes you whole
chips on each shoulder
using wrath to justify the past
How long can that really last?

using anger to show other emotions
smothering any joy you have
affecting those around you
trying to use means to justify
but who really gains anything?

Your heart is crushed by the weight of vengeful thoughts
and your fire consumes all you encounter
leaving joy in a pile of ashes of what once was
and what now can never be


Details | Free verse | |

The Clearing

The winding road to which I must walk;
it curves this way and that.
Would be much easier to simply say no,
but what benifit withholds in that?
In order to reach the place that lies beyond,
beyond the winding road of torturous temptation,
I must look within and find myself.
The part of me willing to let go,
the piece that wants to move on.
So to all the things I once knew,
all the friends still stuck in the past,
I wish you well with my sorrowful good-byes.
It is time for my once tainted mind,
now sober and real,
to help me follow the road my heart has shown me to.
The winding road lying ahead,
I will walk through and throuogh,
for the clearing ahead shows true happiness,
not the kind I used to know.
I know it will be difficult,
one of the hardest things i'll ever do,
but in the end it will be worth it,
for along the way,
I know i'll find myself, too.

Written by: Taylor Rusch


Details | Free verse | |

Nightmares

I feel it in my body
Darkness all around me
This is what I wanted; Right?
I know that it is wrong
I hurt the ones I love
But no one really cares
Welcome to my Nightmares

The Nightmare's Melody
Oh, how it calls to me
I can see my own demise
The pain, why can't I cry?
I stab it with a knife...
my blood, I feel pour
I can't take it anymore
I feel it come to and end
Just know I was happy, my friend


Details | Free verse | |

Feeling

The feeling of
Creepy creatures
Crawling
Across my body
The horrible
Feeling I get
When you
Stare
At me
Sending shivers
Through my spine
Making my whole body
Tense
The feeling of
You people Pointing
At me
Me feeling
Numb
Because I've
Learned
To swim in
The undertow
To just go with it
Because I
Know
When I go home
I'll get some time
To grab the scissors
And inflict the
Pain 
You deserve on myself.


Details | Free verse | |

Everybody keeps telling me that ill be just fine

It saddens me to know this is the way I felt at 19 yrs old..

Everybody keeps telling me ill be just fine
But they aint tellling me when
I can't sit here and pretend
That I don't have a broken heart and there's nothing to mend
Night after night prayer after prayer I always send
Hold my head at the same time it feels so heavy
Wanna be happy but its like the Lord won't let me
Forgive me father I know I have sinned thank you for my blessings 
May I ask you one more thing?


Details | Free verse | |

Of Recognition

This path I take
                      So familiar it seems!
Of sweet years past I dream,
Of distant seasons I dwell; But of love---
Of love I miss. Although deprived of a 
Maiden's gift, I bestill my aspirations;
             With passions gone I retrieve my thoughts but fail
             To comprehend; and now I must cater to my wounds
Of empetiness and bleed to the boredom that follows.


Details | Free verse | |

Comparisons

Tired of being compared
By those who have for me cared.
Tired of feeling scared
Of words they declared.

Tired of comparing
Myself to those I'm sparring.
Tired of fighting
The truth of something.

Tired of my comparisons,
Knows not of my nature's origins.
Tired of my frustration,
My mind needs filtration.


Details | Free verse | |

Infinity

She walks in absolute beauty,
How I envy her.
She is loved by all, as opposed to some.
A sparkle in her eye exceeds all the rest,
Oh, how I wish..
The look of perfection, if I've ever seen it.
She smiles, laughs, runs, and leaps
And often is caught by love himself.
She knows her way around this town
And lets go of what is behind her.
She is dedicated to whatever strikes her fancy,
But still holds close to her friends.
Expect a masterpiece if you hand her a pencil;
Can't hate her since I love her so dearly.
I'll call her infinity..
Infinity doesn't realize her strength
And only sees it in others.
Infinity is my best friend and
Loves  sincerely, forever,
Infinity will never leave,
You always know where she's heading.
Infinity is the look of beauty 
And is one you never want to leave.
Infinity is perfection without pain.
I love her and she's always here,
But I could never relate 
Until the moment my love had to depart.
He gazed in my eyes and held me close
And saw nothing but a love for our infinity together.


Details | Free verse | |

Scars

They may fade
But some do not
Some stick out
That it's hard to miss
The scars
On your arms
Or your legs
The constant reminder
That you resulted to something
You never thought you would
The scars
That over took your life
And changed you
Into the miserable depressed person
You are today
The scars
That will soon
Soon end your life


Details | Free verse | |

To A Stranger

When I was down-
When I was kicked 
And did nothing,
You stood up for me
And you didn't even 
Know me.
You didn't even
Know my name.
You chastised 
Your own friends-
For me.
You helped me up,
Apoligized for them.
You even risked 
The relationship 
With your girlfriend 
Because her friend
Thought it would be funny 
To put me down.
You never asked
For anything in return. 
You just wanted 
To make sure I was alright.
You made her 
Leave me alone
(For the most part).
We never spoke again, 
But I assure you
I did not forget 
What you did, and
How you made the difference
In my life.
If only I could repay you-

Thank you stranger.


Details | Free verse | |

Perfect

Sally Garrel is beautiful.
At least, that’s what she should be.
From her family’s looks she remains,
Perhaps most likely-
Fair white skin
Flowing blond hair
Flashing green eyes
Pouty lips moistly tinged rose
However, one can not truly tell,
For she is covered in
One Big Beauty Mark
Blotchy Brown
Fuzzed Hairs
Raised and Greasy
Sally Garrel is beautiful.
At least, that’s what she should be.


Details | Free verse | |

High School

Countless memories,
Laughter and tears
Always to be remembered,
Moments of these past four years

Freshman year,
Brand new places
It's a fresh start,
With many new faces

Sophomore year,
Better knowing
Waiting for the end,
Always growing

Junior year,
Almost there
Many tests,
Better prepare

Senior year,
One last year
After this you'll be gone,
It's reason for cheer

All the drama,
Between boys and friends
Not knowing what to do,
Having to make amends


Details | Free verse | |

This dxxn dam

My mental barriers crumble
as I sink deeper into this drunken delirium.
Thoughts of her rush in
like water through the cracks of a broken dam.
As the stone wall falls
and I am swept away by the flood,
I am sliced by debris and images of her smile.
I become submerged 
and the sounds of her laugh flow into my ears.
Beat to hell and soaked with sorrow, 
I finally wash ashore.


Details | Free verse | |

My Teddy

Warm, cuddly, and just for me Me and my teddy are meant to be Through good and bad he's there by my side Always listening or making me smile My heart always flutters when he is near He is the one thing I hold so dear I'm so glad I found him Because he's the best thing in my life I wrote this poem to let him know The love I have sings deep within my soul And if you're wondering just who my teddy is Close your eyes and count to ten Because soon we'll be together again To live our life hand in hand. When I see him I almost run, I already know we'll have so much fun, I give him a hug and whisper in his ear, Stay by my side And we'll laugh and cry Trough thick and thin Until we die And if you haven't yet guessed My Teddy is you." He looks at me with a mocking smile, Almost as if he knew all the while. With his caramel eyes shinning like gold, He opens his arms and around me they fold. Don't worry my dear, the night's not yet through, Smile, be happy because you're my teddy too."


Details | Free verse | |

Eden Part 2

The empty shell calls to her, and she beckons at the very sound of the call, lost in thought of angels and eyes of brown.
Leaving him in the physical past, she follows the empty shell
While living in the memory, committing every scene to the library she calls her mind.
As the days pass she searches for an angel, a sign, a guide
She looks, she hopes
To feel alive again for that brief instant
Following meeting an angel in disguise, an angel who is not an angel, she has periods of a beating heart, a positive mind, a flicker of hope in her smile, in her eyes
She seizes these moments to express herself with the ink that flows once more
With words that have meaning, sometimes hidden
Sometimes bluntly on the page, screaming out to the reader
Begging to be noticed, recognized, and responded to
Words that have such a deep meaning, so much depth you could get lost in the void
She crashed so hard, her head is spinning
Thinking nothing more than it was just another one of the damned
The angel, this perfect being, who is not quite human still
Continues on in his sorrow, his beautiful tragedy
Thinking nothing more of it, remembering nothing more from it
She existed for a moment, had meant something for a moment
She felt like she was soaring, so high, flying on top of the world, just for a brief moment, a single brief moment that felt like forever might just be true
She crashed, and died in a beautiful tragedy upon coming to the realization that she meant nothing, and could never mean anything
She was just another one of the damned
nothing more, nothing less, just existing
Just like the rest, but not simultaneously
On an endless each, empty and lonely again...
She wants a taste of heaven once more, of Eden, of the feelings
She fades as days pass
With no one and nothing, except for an empty shell and Malevolent Beast to speak to
Alone in her mind, she re-enacts the scene in her dreams, replays the memories and memorizes the lines, the feelings.
An angel, who wears a mask to hide the humanity sits perched in through against a wall
His eyes deep, stone-like as his stare paralyzes the very particles floating in the air
He watches, waits
For something, Nothing
A silence like no other echoes ever so quietly 
He watches and listens, to the voices of the damned, the voices of the silence, the voices of sanity, listening amongst them for an answer
The damned walks along with an empty shell, a malevolent beast


Details | Free verse | |

Long Day

Sitting in class
you slipping into my mind.
the feeling i tried to hold inside
are starting to unwind.
my heart is now hurting
as a tear slides down my cheek.
all this pain of missing you 
is making me so weak.
i try to get through to you.
but you never listen.
are you aware?
that its you that im missing.


Details | Free verse | |

The Closet

Beauty in disguise
Sitting so close, she's shy
I want to talk to her
But I'm shy as well

Her eyes look scared,
but also captivating.
Always changing color,
moss, sand or hazel brown

Can she like me?
Is that even a possibility?
Hope swells inside of me...
It's dangerous

Because I know that
This shy, beautiful and captivating
girl will never see me.
The same way i see her

And this hope that I have
Will eventually crush me
and push me further into
The closet


Details | Free verse | |

MIND-LESS

        

I apologize for being no LESS then myself. What was I thinking, wait maybe that’s the problem I 
was thinking, there I go again using my MIND, my bad.
I’m sorry I took that other road, u know the one LESS traveled, I know I should have followed the 
crowd but there I go again being an individual, it’s a habit.
The guilt from not giving in to peer pressure is getting to me, I hate my conscience I mean Why I 
got to have morals? Don’t nobody else got them, and if they do they shoal ain't using them. 
I hate being in the talented tenth, people expect me to do something with my life 
I have an idea (don’t tell anybody, that’s not cool) maybe if we MINDed not having a MIND we 
would spend more of our time growing instead of showing, that we are a photo copy of what is 
cool, the truth is nobodies alike, I don’t even breathe like anyone else, when I walk I do this thing 
where my head is held high it kind of resembles pride. there I go again being intellectual, forgive 
me it won’t happen again.


Details | Free verse | |

Alphabet Soup

I make my checklist
And begin

Words and lyrics don’t blend but 
Numbers
Concise, not deris{ive}
Begun thinking again. Stop.
Classical music; diction-less connotation.

The history bar grows longer but the checklist never shorted
The train is going in circles and 
my mind is a bowl of alphabet soup.


Details | Free verse | |

The Red Liquid

I got cut so deep
Underneath that cut is blood
The red liquid
Inside me I feel pain
Throughout my arm there is pain
The pain knowing I did something I would regret
Behind me I hear laughter
Knowing those people are laughing at what I did to myself
Since then nothing has been the same
Around me is dirty looks and laughter
They think I'm not human
Within me there is a heart
A heart that can never go back
Against all odds
Who would think I would have become like this
As soon as I walk through the front door
I run
I run to my room and cry
But not soon later I realize the red liquid dripping from my arm
I have done it once again
And now I am alone


Details | Free verse | |

One

One cut,
One blade,
One bloody line,
One sad girl,
One lie, 
One to many lies, 
One fake smile,
One tears falls,
One less days,
One day I will die, soon
One will miss me,
One rose on my grave,
One more reason to believe Im useless,
One more lie to my face,
One scar,
One love, now hate
One girl
One lonely girl,
One secert,
One dead girl,
One missunderstood


Details | Free verse | |

Fear

Wide eyes
Panic
lips hovering right below a scream
hair pulled into a fist
mouth covered
panicked eyes
wide
heart rattling
fear


Details | Free verse | |

Tears of Blood

I remember you once told me never to cry,
That my eyes would dry,
And I shed more tears than I ever had before.
You said that if I wept on your behalf again
You would die,
And they found you on your reddened floor.

No.  You said it was a lie, you wouldn't kill yourself,
Your heart that loved has stopped,
And so has mine.
Your urn sits solely on my shelf,
When will I see you again?
It's only a matter of time.

Time before I go crazy, I think,
I'll go mad then take my life.
I want to write to you more notes,
But the pen is just dripping ink.
I need you now I'm in strife.

I wonder,
Was it my fault you died that night?
I remember you once told me that life was good, not to cry,
That my eyes would dry, and they did.
I guess, like then, you are right.

But then why did you?
Life is not good.  You left.
You made it worthwhile,
To me no one had ever been so true.

You left me without a word of goodbye.
You were my everything, and I was yours.
I am sorry.  No more will I cry,
For now I am on my own reddened floor.


Details | Free verse | |

17 and Thinking

So much has happened
feelings unexplained
shot, dead
Clear the ROOM!
Speak the silence
in my heart.
The silence brought by death
the death of two loved ones
the loved ones I scarcely knew
but no tears were shed.
So were they really loved ones?
How can one distinctly define love?
Love for family...
Love for friends...
Love for... those we "love".
A strong like
A sinful smile
A deep thought
Lick your lips
and taste my Savior's blood
trickle down His heal.
His love is real.
But where is He?
Is He here?
...
So much has happened
feelings explained
but we're getting nowhere.
Trudging in one spot
one motion
toiling, working
and nothing's coming to fruition.
So we pray
heads bowed, kneeling in sin
to an unseen Power
to the Man Upstairs
when all along
we lust, lie
cheat, steal
hurt
just like the Man Downstairs
Double-minded and unstable
We rock to and fro
just like Grandma's rocking chair
We moan and groan
until finally
We break.
We hit rock bottom
We lend our lives to things,
things we feel will give us a helping hand.
Abuse, misuse
over-the-counter, behind closed doors
We grow, concoct, test
We kill ourselves slowly
until it all becomes too much
and with that pill bottle,
that deadly bee's sting to the head,
that scratch on the wrist
we contemplate.
We judge and weigh the pros and cons.
"How will life be without me?"
Maybe better.
Maybe worse.
But we ache to know.
So we pull the trigger
and it jams.
We scratch the wrist,
we swallow the pills,
and we wait.
We wait to see what's across the murky Jordan,
But our Savior comes.
So we pray.
Repentance in our hearts
Sins on our minds
Confessions on our tongues
and, as the preacher and good book says,
we "confess unto salvation"
We believe.
We believe everything's going to be just fine.
We believe that we'll be alright.
We believe. 
We believe in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.
We believe in the Good News, the Great Commission.
We believe.
But who's to say if what we believe is real?


Details | Free verse | |

New inspiration

Trying to find that new inspiration...
Getting in touch with my 
imagination...
My life needs some holy sanitation...
To get me out of this sinful 
manipulation...
I sit back and dream...
Of the fame, cars, and bling... 
I wake up and it seems...
That i'm a lifetime away from these 
things...
But what I've wanted from the 
start...
Is to simply give my heart...
Not have it torn apart...
Or pierced with darts...
So I write this not for the fame...
But because of my pain...


Details | Free verse | |

Foolish Feelings

Lately, I feel sorry for myself 
And how I can’t just get you
Off my mind.
Your sweet talk’s are 
Comforting and make me feel
Happy inside.

Somehow, you will be there for
Me. You seem like one of those
Guys who would take that
Special girl in your arms,
And let her know that you’re strong
Embrace will never let her fall
And that your love will be forever
Faithful.

I wiYour soft caress has
Held me captive in the palm
Of your hands. I only wish to
To sing you one song from
The heart and strum the 
Notes from my guitar…

…because from now on and
Till forever, I cry myself to sleep and
Awake to a day of foolish feelings.
l will no longer feel like I have to fight to
Be with you and stay with you
Just because you like someone else,
So please I beg you to let me sing
To you this one song and I’ll be gone
Forever free from your chains of despair.


Details | Free verse | |

Hot Bubble Gum

she was a strawberry blonde
with a peppermint smile
all peaches and cream
and maybe
just a bit of the devil inside

me
I was just a joung gun
with braces on my teeth
browsing a comic bookstore
looking for a Batman #19
when she walked in

anyone could she was trouble
like a burning petrol tanker
crashing into a factory of nitroglycerine
wearing a Gucci black dress
fire engine red lipstick
matching shoes and a belt
she looked like a woman 
who was about to go forth
and sin and sin and sin...

she looked at me
smouldering with desire
reached into her bag
and pulled out a piece of gum
seductively removing the wrapper
she placed it between her lips like a cigarette
then sucked it back with her tongue

something exploded
inside my head
I could feel the air ignite
burn the tips of my fingers
and nearly set my hair alight
my life flashed before my eyes
3 seconds of missed opportunity
failed goals, schizophrenic paranoia
and sexual anxiety
not to mention the time
I saw the next door neighbor's wife
laying in the backyard
sun-tanning indecently

then there was darkness
and I was alone
nothing mattered anymore
a warm soothing peace consoled me
tranquil calm surrounded and assured me
gradually I could see a tunnel of light
it shone with brlliance
a celestial warmth of divine purity
drawn to its heavenly pressence
I floated towards it

then suddenly WHAM
I was laying on my back in the comic bookstore
with a taste of peppermint inside my mouth
I sat there and looked around
the girl was gone
just a bubble gum wrapper lay at my feet
and in my left hand
was a copy of a Batman #19

*penned by
Scarecrow Joe


Details | Free verse | |

Adflicto

I just want to curl up and away
Forever lost in the land of dreams.
Where is that happy land of sunshine?

Lost in a perpetual storm; am I
The storm or is it around me?

The dark Beast forever stalking my
Light, my life of laughter, smiling.

I thought I was safe but then
The grief tore my soul apart
Once again, I was broken, ruined.

The circles, the fears and desires
All mockery of me, the joke.

Escape but not for me, chained to 
Walls of the pit I’ve fallen into.

Too much of everything yet not
Enough and the paradox is heartless.

Raving mad and angry at the world,
At life so cruel and beautifully still.

A hope, a whisper so frail like frost
In the shining light of angry morning.

What am I, anyway, except thoughts
And a bundle of torn up skin?

Tired and wracked with thoughts so dark,
Peace must be found or I shall

Break. 


Details | Free verse | |

What It Could've Been

I lay in bed,
Thinking of you.
Of what could've been;
What it should be now.
You know I love you,
And I know you love me back.
So what's wrong with this picture?,
Why arn't we together?


Details | Free verse | |

You're Gone 1-8-09

you were supposed to stay forever
you were supposed to tell me of the war
you were supposed to come to my wedding
but you won't be...

you left...
I didn't want you to...
but the cancer got you...
and you left...

they should have found it earlier...
but they ran all the wrong tests
and they couldn't find it...
not til it was too late...

so the cancer ate away at you...
it ate and ate and ate...
there was nothing to be done
all there was to be done was to wait...

so we did.
we waited,
and waited,
and waited...

we waited less than a month...
the longest month of my life...
until January 24, 2008, around 3 a.m.
she woke up and found you dead...

and now you're gone...
no matter how bad I want you to be here...
You're Gone...


Details | Free verse | |

Impulse 53

I didn’t pick you to be
my muse, the same way 
you don’t decide
to fall in love. Love isn’t
“alright, I’m ready to
give everything I got 
for you.” Love is “no
matter how hard I try,
I can’t get your damn
face out of my head,
and I really want to 
see you right now.” 
So, don’t tell me to 
get over it, because 
this isn’t some mountain
you can walk all over.
This is climbing up
falling stairs. 


Details | Free verse | |

trials

we have had our share of troubles 
but we are still here together 
thats what counts in the end 
our love is still a burning fire 
you have stood by my side 
and watched the storms 
role through again and again
we will have more trials but 
i know we can survive if we 
work through them together 
as a couple of messed up 
people with only our love
and eachother to keep us sane


Details | Free verse | |

Change and Progession

Change is good for any of us
Let me tell you how I know
Without change how would we grow
When we grow we progress
So in life who wouldn't want to progress
See life is a test and we learn and we grow
You have to have patience
Sometimes change and progress is slow
Without the right amount of care
You can break down and you can tear but if you do it right
You can glow like a glowing light
So don't be scared of change because with change you gain experience and knowledge
Alright!


Details | Free verse | |

4am Venting

I'm not supposed to be like this.
Misfitted, twisted, confused, self conscience, and unoptimistic.
I'm still trying to put in to words what it is that made me like this.
Who it is that paved this.
You know you carved the rocks to the road that I'm supposed to walk down.
The only thing is you only paved it half way.
I thought men could finish things like this.
You only paved it half way.
I thought parents loved you unconditionally.
You only paved it half way.
I thought daugters were supposed to be daddys little girls.
You only paved it half way.
You don't even know how amazing I am but still think you deserve the credit.
You only paved it half way.
Who do I owe my success to?
You only paved it half way.
You're the reason I can't trust dudes.
You only paved it half way.
You're the reason sometimes late at night I stop being too pretty to cry.
You only paved it half way.
I'm venting now, hoping for a better day.
You see I'm not as screwed up as I should be.
Get pissed, flip stuff, dip quick, and light piff.
Get sick, spazz fit, sniff this, and sip stuff.
This only makes sense to me.
You're starting to become my enemy.
I said I couldn't find the words at the begining of this.
I think I found a few.
Shed a few tears and throw on a smile or two.
I just let the world see how volunerable I can be, atleast for an hour or a few.
I don't know when I'll tell you this to your face but it's long over do.
Got me up 4am cyber venting to you.


Details | Free verse | |

Use Me

It's true, I have absolutely no idea who I am.
Lord, please show me Your way.
I give myself up to You.
Use me.


Details | Free verse | |

Talk To Me

Tell me what you're feeling
Since I have felt it once myself.
I know how it hurts 
To have one you love 
Act as a prick-
To puncture your delicate heart 
At a young age.
I know the scare you get
When you tremble at the thought
Of losing an innocence you can't
Gain back and then living it.
I understand being lonely 
And being denied 
What you really desire and
How it makes one 
Stay up and cry every night.
To be forgotten-
Neglected and dismissed-
A total outcast-
I know it well.
Tell me what's wrong-
I'll understand.


Details | Free verse | |

Animus

A heart breaks, it shatters into tiny pieces when she leaves. She says to you” this love is nothing true, I never felt anything with you”. You look at her in heartbreak, she walks away like you were just mirror image of a ghost that you will soon be. As you drop to the ground crying out “please! Lord save me!”  Those screams echo through time. You can hear your heartbeat stop and as you fall over on the ground all you can see is her face as she walks away. You lie there broken and motionless, your soul shall move on and you shall parish with the last words “this love is nothing true.”


Details | Free verse | |

my heart is healed

what is love?
Is it real?
I dont know what to feel.
You broke my heart before
but now im not so sure.
When i look into his eyes
I see a pleasant guy.

You broke my heart.
you left me there, 
to cry my tears away
and now you want me back

I say NO! NO! NO!
no thanks to you
Ive learned again
that love is real.

Now my heart is healed 
and you are repealed.
Now that i am here to stay
you have finally gone away.


Details | Free verse | |

Cerulean Jade

Cerulean Jade

These eyes, they deceive you.
Blank and insincere. 
Playing with your mind,
and getting well inside.
They’re deceiving you.

Beneath the emerald blue, 
the gold ever glows,
Blazing like an inferno.
Beyond the shores,
 of my emerald azure eyes,
lives a shy and passionate being.

Your trust is all wrong,
for them and not me.
Can’t you see, you can trust me.
And not them. 
I may seem cold, heartless and malignant.
But all are lies.

Like Poseidon in the heavens,
strong in his own way.
Subtle and candid, 
I will always be.

Be sure that you take your chance,
when I provide the raft,
to cross this sea. 
To find this being, 
to know him and love him.

I am unlike the others,
for my eyes are unlike the others
My eyes, this sea. 
My favourite colour. 

Cerulean Jade.


Details | Free verse | |

The Fight

(Based on a true story)


Two girls got in a fight
One punched left the other punched right
And everyone was cheering FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Yes, everyone was watching and cheering them on

So on they went scratching and hitting, but everyone knew who was winning
It was the maddest one bringing her down, because when she turned around her pony tail was on the ground
She had pulled out the others girls weave, and when she did everyone screamed 
But by this time the fight had to be stopped
So guess who walked in...yep a cop

And I will stop here I will say no more for I fear the fight has not ended here, cause their blood is hot and their hearts are cold
When will they fight again? nobody knows but that's all I can say cause I'm locked away without a doubt and they wont let me out 
  


Details | Free verse | |

Just Me

I don't want to be lost forever
In the high school sea
This clique or that one
Which should I choose
Preps, punks, goths, 
Every possible type is here
But I don't want to be any of them
I want to be myself
The kind of person that's
Not accepted in high school
But I can make it on my own
This is it, just me


Details | Free verse | |

Listen To The Rain-Part 2

Without you I feel bare. No love. No warmth. I wish ou could stay I know you would if you could. I know you didn't leave willingly.

So I hold our picture, I look at it every night. I wear your tags everyday, there's not a place I go without them. I always wear your dream catcher. It takes most of the dreams away.

My tears always fall. They never stay put.

My heart always aches. It's still alive, it still feels your love, but it misses you. Misses your words. Your touch.

I can't wait to see you again. Even if it's only for a second, I will tresure it. Listening to the rain. Clutching your dream catcher. Clutching our picture. Clutching your tags. Holding them tight against my chest. Holding on to hope.

I wonder if you miss me.

I wonder if you need me.

I wonder if you cry.

I wonder if your heart aches.

I wonder if yu dream about me.

I wonder if you wonder about me.

I wonder if you hope for me. I wonder if you hurt for me.

I'm sure you do. I can feel it. I can feel you. I can hear your thoughts. I can see your dreams.

I miss you.

I need you.

I cry.

My heart aches.

I dream about you.

I wonder about you.

I hope for you.

I hurt for you.

I listen to the rain. I've memorized it's dark song. I clutch our picture. I wear your tags, your dream catcher. i hold them all to my chest. Tight.

I miss you. I listen to the rain to hear you. To feel you. To see you.

Listen to the rain. It sings. It whispers.

Listen to the rain. It heals. It covers.


Details | Free verse | |

Done

Yeah;
You're still here,
Filling my thoughts,
Eating away at
What's left of me,
Not stopping
Until you hit the core.
Then,
You've had your fun,
Nothing left to take.
So I'm tossed aside,
Left to rot.
While you're still
Laughing,
Smiling,
Living.


Thanks for not caring.


Details | Free verse | |

Me and You

I can see that we were meant to be
I no you see it to
But my love for you has changed a bit
And i know we'll see it through
I love you with all my heart
And never want to leave you
I never want us to be apart
Cause of my love
I know we share a special thing
We'll have to help it grow
But never let your feelings die
And never let them go
Cause my life's about
Me and You
Never falling
Never leaving
I never want to lose you
To another man
Cause i love you
And i want it to be
Me and You


Details | Free verse | |

Save Me

In the light of day
That's when you think everything is okay

I'll tell you I'm fine 
And you won't cross that line

Believing this overused lie
Not daring to speak of how much I cry

I'm tired of people telling me to be strong
What a sick broken record of a song
Be strong, be strong, be strong

Save me from this suffocating silence
Take away the pain of choking on my own words
Show me the love we all so desperately seek
Tell me it's okay to have feelings
Break this statue you molded me into

In the dark of the night
That's when you find nothing is right

That silent tear falls upon her face
Her hollow breath quickening in pace

She pulls at her hair and claws at her sheets
Screaming and writhing, faster her heart beats

I'm tired of people telling me to be strong
What a sick broken record of a song
Be strong, be strong, be strong

Save me from this suffocating silence
Take away the pain of choking on my own words
Show me the love we all so desperately seek
Tell me it's okay to have feelings
Break this statue you molded me into

Back to light
You think its been alright

Rosy cheeks are actually raw
Wiping tears that no one else saw

Shining eyes are the glistening tears
A hopeless pain that only she bears

I'm tired of people telling me to be strong
What a sick broken record of a song
Be strong, be strong, be strong

Save me from this suffocating silence
Take away the pain of choking on my own words
Show me the love we all so desperately seek
Tell me it's okay to have feelings
Break this statue you molded me into


Details | Free verse | |

She keeps me guessing

You keep me guessing
 everyday we see each other 
your eyes always gleaming 
your smile always keeping me on my toes
 loving you is like loving 
god 

then i hear  your rep 
it keeps me out of sorts 
lost... i am 
do i love you 
or your image 

ideas 
keep forming 
friends say don't do it 
my heart says do it 
my mind lost in space 
it aint never coming down
 
never thought i could feel  this way
 hurt yet loved
 loved but lost 

usually don't care
 but thats not cutting it 
do i deserver her comes through my mind 
all the time 

if i don't 
then this feeling
 would be all for nothing


Details | Free verse | |

You Are Beautiful

She said, why am I so ugly
When she looked at that girl in the mirror,
Day after day
She will never be good enough
What has happened?
Some things will never change
and new fears emerged.
Is she that broken
That with a trembling hand,
She paints a picture of sorrow
Sometimes I wonder 
If she'll ever sing again.
But today, look up
You are beautiful,
Today
Words will not bring you down,
Today.
Because today,
Is a new day.
The world is looking up
No more insecurities
Her confidence has arrived
Have you ever seen her heart?
WAIT.
Her symphony has begun,
Now all you have to do...
Is Listen.


Details | Free verse | |

Betrayal

The first stab
Barely pierced the skin,
So I let it go.
The second,
A little deeper,
A little more painful,
But still,
I forgave you.
The wound began to
Scab over,
And  you broke through,
And the pain is so
Unbearable,
And I've had enough.


Details | Free verse | |

Heated Dreams

your kisses tease my lips as you scarcely touch them your fingers tickle my nerves as you slide your hand along my spine my hair, long and creme coloured, spill across the pillow my hips buckle as you have your way You murmur nothings in my ear as I wrap my legs around your waist pulling your close and holding you still, you begin your rampant thrusting hard and pounding loud groans echo off every wall the candle light glimmers off our sweaty, glistening skin my fingers find themselves mixed in your thick brown hair you growl like a beast There must be an art to this this incessant passion and never ending moments of heat we are in secret in the dark we meet in secret we love in secret we share our passions then the day begins and I realise that I have dreamt it I lean back on the pillow Sigh, the dream of incessant love making... where's my prince now....?


Details | Free verse | |

Everyday I'm Thinking of You All (Dedicated To D.W.I. Boyz, Ms. Pat, & D.W.I. Street Team)

Good things don't always last
so we cherish each moment
from joy's to our tears
lets not forget the good times
that has past over these years

It's not any telling when we all
may meet once again
but lets not forget one another
nor where we came from
where we all began

We all have dreams of success
so lets continue to walk throughout life
by faith; not by sight
Everything that seems to be right
isn't always true

When your days get blue
here's a shoulder you can lean on
a person that will always be true

Haters come but that's everywhere you go
so lets show them love as well
because nobody can do it like you
D.W.I. Boyz and the crew
always keep the crowd moving
that's the truth

"I'm going to miss you all
Number 1 Fan, Deneshia Bryant"


Details | Free verse | |

The Shore Awaits

My head is heavy
with loneliness
as i sail into the moon
watching my reflection
run in circles
over and over i see
the deepest part of me
become lit with enmity
and endless misery
for it's difficult to look forward
when you live in a memory
and it's hard to kill 
the voices that torture you
when those voices
come from your own mind
Why must I
hurt myself so?
hoping for a better tomorrow
when i make it
so it never shall be so?
I must find a way
to outsmart my sadness
to look past my own
imperfections
to let my feelings go
to let go of my fear
and to finally let go
of the thought of finding
a better world
So from this day forth
and this night that is to fall
I will set my sail forever
I will never stop moving forward
and i shall ride the lightning
and swim in the tsunami
because i can overcome 
any odds that i already have not faced
I will find the land and shores of bliss
just speaking of the thought
makes me taste the sands 
of times to come
follow me into the abyss
and i promise
the shore awaits


Details | Free verse | |

Untitled

Keep your options open.
Falling fast isn't bad unless they're not expecting to be the one that's supposed to catch you when gravity catches up to what you think is an infinite unrealistic reality.
And love is about as rare as blue roses growing in the mist of mas casuality.
Did I mention this was an unrealistic reality?
I know, it's getting a bit confusing and somewhat misleading.
What I mean is keep your options open.
Yes I know this statement is a bit repetative, but keep your options open.
This is my blatantly obvious yet tactful attempt at subliminal mind control, or whatever they call it.
Is it working?
Keep your options open.
You know falling for someone is about as difficult as it is to not fall for someone.
Do you let your guards down or do you go all in?
When you're older you go all in.
When you're young and have been hurt you keep your options open, but you just tell everyone no one else caught your attention.
When you're young and nieve like most of us you forget the caution signs every where and you go all in.
I've said it so much you must have caught on to who the audience was, right?
I think my options are open, or about as open as they can get, or maybe i'm falling but i'm fighting it.
Maybe i'm as confused as any individual my age, maybe not.
Maybe i'm just sitting here thinking of ways to totally mind screw you.
Maybe this is me pretending to be smart and i'm just really over analyzing things.
Maybe I picked up a few tricks on how to sound smarter then I am while I was in school.
Maybe I am so intellectually intelligent in the most unobvious ways to you that this is mind blowing that I even thought of this.
Maybe this entire thing is a lie and i'm just rambling for the sake of it.
Maybe not.
I'm only 18, what do I know, what exactly have I experienced in such a short amount of time?


Details | Free verse | |

The Star

Out in the fields on a moonlit night, there shines a star
with all it's beauty and light. Its' colors are many; It's 
beauty is great. So how can someone say it's a mistake?
The star shines on until someone comes over tells the star
it's shining too bright. The star grows dim, then loses its' light.
Day by day the star gets darker until it disappears, the star that shown
with so much beauty is no longer here.  People miss the star that shined
so bright and wish it shined like before. The star hears their wishes 
and comes back shining all the more!  Why did it stop shining, like stars are
supposed to do? Well, here is one last question. Why do you? People want to 
see your light, so like the star, shine full and bright!


Details | Free verse | |

Words

Words.... means nothing unless their spoken right
Unless the speaker who speaks them
Speaks with pride
With words that go further than sight
 
Words.... spoken by lips
Louder than a gun, faster than a bullet
But kills just the same
Pierces with versus
and leaves somes with pain
 
Words.... will make you go
Owww and Ahhh!!,
Or who and what??,
Or think to yourself, "what the f..."
 
Yea, so I left that word out,
Because theres a time and place for everything
Even though I said all words are good
I never said they all needed to be used


Details | Free verse | |

Don't Forget Me

Do you remember me for I remember you
Back in the day I use to be your Boo
Don't tell me you've forgotten 
I don't see how you could
I was the one who went with you when no one else would 
And in time I saw that no body else should
Because I was yours and you were mine
And even though we'd break up we'd get back together every time
It was like we was meant to be 
We were like a bear to honey or a apple to a tree
No matter how hard they try to brake us apart together we would always be
We were in love this I know is true for I did not want to be with no one else but you
But then I acted a fool that brought our loving to an end
I thanked God you forgave me and we continued to be friends 
Our love had to end but our friendship never will
I know it's been a long time since I saw you last
I'm sorry for coming into your present life to remind you of the past
I just wanted you to know that I will forever love you, no matter what people say or do
I hope you will cherish this letter and every word that is wrote 
Just remember who loved you first and who would never let you go


Details | Free verse | |

I Am Me

I am a frightened child
Calling for my mother
I am a helpless youth
Searching for a friend
I am young and naive
Learning of darkness and hate
I am a lonely teen
Lost in a sea of unknown faces
I am a hopeless romantic
Wishing he loved me too
I am just a high schooler
Making my way in life


Details | Free verse | |

His Eyes

His eyes are a cup of warm coffee
With swirls like soft chocolate notes
Deep like the ocean without a trace of blue
Hiding secrets and emotions too;

His eyes are chopped mint leaves
Adding a color like no other
The clover color touches the hearts 
Of all who dare to seek it out;

His eyes are golden flecks
That sparkle with every breath they take
A topaz color like clean jewelry
Scattered among the darkness.


Details | Free verse | |

Fracta Anima

Maybe instead of life
Maybe I’m the joke.
Maybe I stopped mattering,
So why does this matter?

The shattered pain in my eyes,
Mirrors that reflect only you.
Do you see the cracked smile;
Your laughter is a dagger to my soul.

The frustration is a merry-go-round;
I might fall off and die.
The pain is rotten, a corpse
Twisted all around my heart.

Tears are uncountable, endless
Crying at night but still more.
Oh, the despair in my soul!
I long only for joy, please,
Is that just too much to ask?

Those beautiful dreams are ruined,
Why on earth were they given?
Was it all my fault or maybe
No one’s fault, just life,
The joke that is me.

The cuts will scar, as always
Yet can’t you see them,
Or maybe you refuse to.
The outside cuts are nothing
Compared to my heart, ruined,
Destroyed by far too many hopes.

My trust, shattered like glass
And lying in the wasteland,
My bitter tears are the oasis.

Tired, yet no sleep is found here,
So many questions in my mind,
My heart can’t ask you again.

I’m sorry, oh the mistakes made,
And there will be so many more.

I am hollow, a container of sorrow,
Of lifeless, wingless dreams, so frail.
The hot fire mixes with it,
The anger that is me and my mind,
Questioning, screaming and so unhappy.

Delusions are my safe, happy place;
I only wanted love.


Details | Free verse | |

Life

When walls fall in and your heart breaks
Keep yur eyes on the real pize
Who do you need to please?
Yourself?
Someone else?
Let your priorities and morals guide you through the twisted track that some call life


Details | Free verse | |

Regrets

We had a fight, a huge war.
The war in which I walked out the door.
I lay in the road, blood soaking my shirt.
I lay there dying and extremely hurt.
The ambulance comes and rushes me to the ER.
You quickly follow in your car.
Laying in the darkness oh so smooth.
Praying and wishing what I heard wasn't the truth.
The doctors rush me into a room,
they won't let you in yet but they say soon.
You start to shake and you start to pace.
You cry and you scream "why her" as your heart starts to race.
You can't calm down no matter how hard you try.
You continue to shake and weep and cry, not ready to say goodbye.
I want to come back, emerge from the darkness,
and give you my heart back and complete forgiveness.
I finally awake and see you there.
You start to cry and kiss my hair.
I tell you I love you and I don't want to lose you.
You pull me close and tell me you love me too.


Details | Free verse | |

The Stars Aren't Out Tonight

The stars aren't out tonight 
And I can't see the light in your eyes
The new moon makes the night too dark 
It's getting harder and harder to find my way
The light fades to even deeper shades of gray
Lips grow colder and breathing gets slower
I can't seem to bring you back to life
Please don't leave me. I'm not strong enough
The pieces you held are still too fragile
Falling to the floor, glistening like new born stars
We share the last breath and my eyes shut tight
A single tear rolls down your cheek
The last time I call you mine
The last time you call me baby
The black attire goes with the parents who bury their children
Red rose falling against the mourning skies
This is the end of a love story that never was


Details | Free verse | |

New Beginning-Part 1

She walks around alone. Alone with no one to love her. She needs someone to be there for here, to hold her. She's always guarded her heart, she's never let anyone in. Her walls are always up. She is pained, scared, heart broken. She thinks no one loves her. She needs somone to wipe the tears off her sweet face. To hold her and let her know it will be okay. To comfort her. To heal her. To love her. Her nights are restless, she gets no sleep. Horrible dreams fill her mind. She jumps. She cries. She screams. No one is there to tell her she's fine. No one is there to hold her at night. She was hurt. Time and time again. Her heart was broken. Time and time again. She thought she fell in love. She was tricked, hurt and left alone. Now she walks alone. In the darkness. All she wanted was a little bit of love. Some people gave it to her, but it was fake. She was tricked. Hurt. ~Two Months Later~ She's becoming happier now. Laughing more. Smiling more. She's starting to let people in. Her nights are more peaceful now, with bery few bad dreams. She sleeps for the first time. She barely cries. She barely screams. More and more nights are like this. No ones with her yet she feels a little safer once again. She doesn't hurt as much now. Her pain is leaving her. Her heart is starting to heal. She's starting to let people get close to her agian, although her heart is still guarded. She doesn't want to be hurt again. She wants to feel real love. So she waits to find someone who will wipe the tears off her sweet face. To hold her and tell her that it's okay. To comfort her. To heal her. To love her.


Details | Free verse | |

Triskaidekaphobia

Apprehension
acquiesces
to utter terror.
Defense mechanisms
engage.
Denial drips
from my pores.
Uncharted territory
shakes my
synapses.
Familiar armor
shunned,
I stand at the ready
with a new-found
arsenal.
Rounds of confidence
and shells of
self-worth
are the artillery needed
to face the looming battle
and retain proper
station while
parenting a teenager.


Details | Free verse | |

Raining In Technicolor

It's raining...
In technicolor
And at the same time 
The impossibilities
Of reality are reflected in your eyes...
But no matter what is not likely
Or possible,
I still love you
And I can only hope that one day
You'll love me back


Details | Free verse | |

Herpes New year

No one ever talks about it
it hurts
it throbs
uncomfortable

\No one knew what to say
especially when it was no longer all about them
but it was

Who have i been with?
who have you been with!!!?

the tears
pain
throbbing
thief of under
under where?
under there

All my friends were busy
Called mom yesterday we fought
My brother bout fell off the wagon
cause i want to move away if he moves near
and they're all blaming my ex

i know better
psychological torment
Im the slut
Im the whore
I blame myself as i should
serves me right
right?

so who wants a piece of this pie?
drug induced schitsoeffective
mood disorder
mentally ill
diseased
Lover Boy
all for you

Just give me more pills

Two friends left
I don't want to talk to the Angel whose ex stole my password to this site
My ex girlfriend whose room i lit on fire owes me 240 dollars for her drug debt
things are getting better
happy birthday rip off
merry Christmas debt
high and dry
Now Herpe New year

and i wept
again
stronger this time to not go over the reasons to live versus those i should die
and i laid in bed
with no one to hold
so young
people are cruel
I'm the joke dressed in suicide
just make sure you wash your hands
when you clean up after my mess
you might get infected
and then as the songs go sang by the artists
that sing about how my names are songs

I'll be the one responsible for killing all of my friends and myself after all

For the love of latex and lesions
practice safe sex
know your partners well
and remember life aint no merry go round
it can happen to you
it happened to me

and I've only been out of the funny farm 
for three years
before that i was clean
before that was high school
and the nightmare i will always remember and equate with the word 
DREAM


Details | Free verse | |

Over

I look back on
The past year. On the
What could have been,
The good times,
The bad,
On you.
Your smile,
Your laugh,
The things I'll miss
The most.
Heartache-
All I have to
Remember you by.


Details | Free verse | |

Foster Mom

your so beautiful
you make me smile.
you make my living life
Worthwhile.
your always there when i need you
always there when i cried.
was always there to repair my heart
when a part of me died.


Details | Free verse | |

Silken Green

Silken green
in hues of piquancy- 
sheltered moss, 
under fringes of fungus;
separated by nature's vibe,
spores lace the Earth,  
and thrum against
the open sores 
that gape at midnight moil.
 
Treacherous stubs, 
clung to by the hands 
of fifteen near six,
crisping the ruffles, 
by her sweat and poise.  

Barley silenced breath, 
fermented in a heat of the kettle, 
bulbs of silken green
in hues of piquancy, 
remind me that I should leave.


Details | Free verse | |

Man overboard

My bedroom has been flooded
and now I'm drowning in my thoughts.
Questions of what is and what isn't
floating about like hundreds of jellyfish.
They wait for me to venture out
so that they can sting me and send me 
sinking
into the abyss that is my very own mind.
There are also two sharks,
Loneliness and Depression.
The scent of blood in my veins
has made them hungry.
I can't swim
and I have no place to hide.
Man overboard!


Details | Free verse | |

Silence

I said
"I love you."
And I stood there.
You spoke not a word
Just stopped there in shock
And I watched you
Waiting
For a reaction of sorts
What would I get?
Anger?
Sorrow?
Love in return?
You spoke not a word
But your silence spoke volumes.
I turned to hide the tear
Rolling down my cheek
I was a fool,
I'm sorry I wasted your time,
I'll go now.
Don't worry,
Don't say a thing now,
Your silence spoke for you.


Details | Free verse | |

My First Love

Huh?

      You asked me about my first love?
   

                          What love?


Details | Free verse | |

The Fear of Loving You

You told me not to be afraid,
And yet fear still overtakes my body,
Each time you say those words.
Each time "I love you,"
Falls from your tongue,
Into the phone reciever,
And reaches my eager, yet cautious ears,
My heart stops.
Surely you don't mean it.
I mean, I've heard it all before,
The waiting,
The, 'I love you, no matter what,'
The, 'We will still be friends after,'
And after each I say,
"I don't know,"
And you say don't be afraid,
And I swear my heart stops,
It skips several beats.
Boy can I believe you?
Everything within says yes,
Yet my mind says no.
I've seen this movie before,
Skip to the end and tell me,
Do we live happily ever after?
And no, I don't believe in fairy tales,
But can I be your princess?
Your African queen?
You told me not to be afraid,
And yet fear overtakes my body,
Each time you say those words.
Each time, "I love you," escapes your lips.


Details | Free verse | |

words for the wise

living for someone else and not yourself can cause trouble. They might not be there to catch you when you stumble . Live for today and not tomorrow . Forget about the pain and the sorrow . Have your own back and don't become a dummy . Never back down and don't become phony . You only get one life to live so choose wisely . Can't trust no one , shame what this world can do to so many people they fell for the tricks of the evil . Rise above them all and stay positive . You live for your actions not for the power . life is simple its just not easy so look out for the traps and take it easy .


Details | Free verse | |

You deny me your love

When I see you I still get butterflies. 
But despite the way I feel for you, you still don't want me.
And when I think of you, tears fill my eyes. 
The things that I risk for you, you don't see.
I tried so hard to be good for you.
But still you pretend to not care.
Still you don't want to be with me even though there's nothing that I will ever deny 
you.
Despite all the good times that we shared.
You still deny me your love.


Details | Free verse | |

Open

I like to ply things open
 Things like arms and legs and minds and hearts
And baby, I need to oil your body so it would stop old floor, old door creaking every time I try to open up and find where loves been hiding

Your heart is a time capsule holding on to the slave ship love life you've had 
And it seems I am allergic to loving you because the dust around you heart triggers my allergies

Makes my skin itch---You are poison

Ivy, you have grown too quick for me and I'm sorry if my heart is so smooth with loving that you didn’t hear it swing open

SMACK DAB IN YO' FACE HONEY! Love has been here.

I shouldn't have to dig my fingers in different lobes for you to consider thinking about me
 I don't want to leave my finger prints while opening your mind

                                       Eyes burning---I am losing sight of you. 
And nose running because every part of me is try to get away from you now

Can you hear the stiches ripping? My scars are resurrecting
They are only a mirror image of you so they want to see what they look like
Let me turn my back on you so I can show them

I am gaping now

You see, my heart isn’t pumping right 
and I reckon yours doesn't either
So do you love me now, 
Or am I too naked for you?

Let me dismantle Ivy's box and see the jewels you've been hiding from me
Show me how your mind works cause I wanna roller coaster through your insides
Plummet to the bottom of your stomach to show you how sick you make me feel

I can see your gaping now

The tearing of your skin reminds me of the ripping of diary pages after someone has already read them
Sounds like you’re screaming, but your only saying help. 


Details | Free verse | |

Reflection on forgotten love

Young love looses its flavor when left to its own devices
Half forgotten on a shelf it ripens, molds, and decays.
Sweet, sunlight dancing memories that pull tears from regretful eyes
Soon turn bitter—
Suave boys exchange tuxedos for clown noses
And earnest naivety is revealed.  


Details | Free verse | |

Take A Picture

You don't like how i'm dressed,
Take a picture.
It will last longer

You don't like how my hair is done
Well take a picture.
It will last longer

You don't like the fact 
I'm dating the guy you like.
Take a picture
It will last longer

You don't like the fact
That My life is perfect with him.
Take a picture 
It will last longer

But thank you for the Pictures
The scrap book really lasted forever.


Details | Free verse | |

Soulful Cries

I scream, at the top of my lungs
No sound, comes out
Silent, curdling screams
Is, all I have left, now
I wrestle; I fight, with all, my physical might
While, being forced down 
By the mighty strength, of many men
The pungent smells of dirt, sweat and grime
Embed, in my senses
Their ghastly hot breathes; making me, want to puke!
Their hands, all over me
Constantly grabbing and groping me
Hollering and cheering each other on
Then, someone punches me
Someone, I cannot see
A large man’s hand, covers my nose and mouth
Muffling my soulful cries, terrifying, my insides!

I can’t breathe, now!

Many heavy handed blows, follow
In a blurry haze
I watch, my scarlet red blood splatter
Upon the snow white sheets, that surround
My sacred blood spilled
My salty tears mixed in with sticky men’s semen
My body, a raging torrent of scorching hot lava
Lulling into a translucent, entranced state
Surrendering, to the primal, animalistic frenzy
The men, taking what they want, anyway they want it
Devouring every morsel left ,of my weak and weary body
My body fighting, for its God given right
To live, now!
My life flashes before my eyes
The sounds around me begin to fade
My eyes glaze over, my body goes limp
My body betraying me, when I need her the most!
Silently, I pray for this is not my will, but their own
“Have mercy upon these souls” 
“Please forgive these men, as I do, now
“My love remains with you, heavenly Father”
Blackened tears of jet black mascara
Weave their way down
Through the bloody crevasses, of my black & blued skin
My body used up, a lifeless vessel, totally numb!
My innocence and dignity stripped!
No one, can save me, the worst is done!
Bashed, beaten, worn
I am nothing, no more...


Details | Free verse | |

Individuality

Yes I'm different
I appreciate my individuality
You can't change how I feel
About myself or others
And I love to defy the crowd
I don't care what you think of me
I don't care that you don't like me
I don't care that you don't like my friends
You're not me
And you can't make my decisions
So just accept me, or let me be


Details | Free verse | |

Para vos...

To wait all these months
Seems all worth it
To be in your arms
At the end
Is the best reward
To wait all these months
Has become amazing
Because you’re now my inspiration


Details | Free verse | |

Forever-Part 2

Pacabells cannon starts to play. The gates open and everyone looks my way. Beautiful black and red roses line the red carpet that leads to you. You look amazing tonight too. I look at my white dress as I step into the setting sun. The light catches the black sparkles and roses on my dress and makes me look beautiful, makes me feel like one. A black rose on this beautiful LA sand. A black rose that belongs to a wonderful man. I slowly walk down the aisle. I walk up to you and I smile. There's black and red roses on the alter and I get up ther. I can smell their sweet fregrance in the warm evening air. The paster starts as I look at you. You say you vouls and I say mine too. You say "I do," and I do the same too. You slip yet another beautiful ring on my finger and kiss me so sweetly. We hold hands and walk back down the beautiful rose lined aisle.

 

We walk to the peir where there are beautiful lights hung up everywhere. I spin to look at the beauty and you lean in close to me and say, "wait here." You walk up to the DJ and request and smile as a familure tune comes on. I continue to smile and I take your hand. you walk me back out onto the beautiful sand.  "Our first dance," you say. My smile gets bigger when I here Amazed starts to play. You pull me closer to you as we start to move from side to side. My nourvousness is hard to hide. "You okay beautiful?" you ask softly as you gently run your hand through my hair. "Yeah baby, I'm fine," I say as I see people gather around and stare. We dance and we sway sweetly and quietly. We kiss and dance slowly. We kiss again and you start to sing along with the song. I've been waiting for this day, I've been waiting so long.

 

We'r walking on the beach again. hand in hand. you still in your tux, I'm still in my dress. This is our future. Together. Forever. The setting sun catches my ring. It shines brightly. "I love you," I say and we kiss again. "I love you too," you say and gently pick me up.

You carry me back up to the house. You carry me up sairs and lay me on our bed. You lay beside me and gently kiss my head.

We lay there and talk for hours and hours. We smile and laughas our future stretches on in front of us.


Details | Free verse | |

"Oh Boy!"

“Oh Boy!”

Summer was swirling in my head.
Boys, romance novels, teen mags were all that I read.
I just got my car and my license, enough said.
“So, you’ve locked your car with your car engine running, your car alarm sounding,
your air conditioner blowing, your window shield wipers wiping, your radio blaring,
your headlights are glowing and your purse is in your car too?” asked Officer Ted.




True story.


Details | Free verse | |

A Natural High

Some people get high off of drugs--
But not me.
My high is natural.
Words are my drugs,
Music is my addiction,
My voice is the chemical that'll keep you wanting more.
We can share a high,
And watch the others try to put their artificial highs against my natural--
They can't compete.
Especially when I'm being watched by many!
Sharing with everyone, passing the gift,
Letting everybody get a sample of my real, natural, high.


Details | Free verse | |

Structure

You were there
When I needed
You most.
You were my
Pillar when I 
Needed strength,
But I guess all Pillars
Crumble eventually.


Details | Free verse | |

The Lovers Cycle

You're like a distant voice floating in the wind

The sound carries away lightly brushing my skin

My mind clouds over leaving me to your every whim

An like an unending cycle it all starts again

 

Your hand brushes mine as soft as cotton

Filling me with butterflies and reminding me I'm not forgotten

As long as I'm with you I know I'll never be saddened and

That nothing bad could ever possibly happen

 

When you kiss me with lips so lush

I can feel my cheeks heat with a heavy blush

Filling my body with an intense rush

My happiness so strong I fear I may bust

 

We lay together skin on skin

Thinking about what we just did

My heart pounding from deep within 

And I begin to fantasize about being with you again

 

You slide your hand along my thigh 

Making my lips part in a lustful sigh

I look at you with a playful smile

And you glance back with knowing eyes

 

Together our voices harmonize

"It's always so hard to say goodbye".


Details | Free verse | |

Love

Love is sweet and delicate
The name is used in vain
Love can lead to pain
When the lost of love
I always see rain
Love can leave you looking like a fool
Adults are not the only ones that know what love can do
Love can make you do things you normally wouldn't do
Love can make you hurt people
Love has hurt me too


Details | Free verse | |

Summer

Sun down to sun up summer
One word can leave such pleasure
Schools out and theres nothing but fun
All under the Texas sun
We all go wild and party
They party hearty
We dance and sing
We all tend to have a summer fling
We arise with the summer sun
We all play around and run
We hang with our friends
We never wish it to end
Every one and everything
The memories summer brings
We laugh until we cant breath
In the end we all believe
We remember the summer
A time of thunder


Details | Free verse | |

My Getaway

The ocean is a place to be 
To get away from from everything 
To sit here on the shore
Having nothing to worry about 

I want to become 
One with the ocean 
Stay here 
For I have nothing to fear 

But there is so much to do 
So little time 
To see the world 
In one life time 

Now I'm going home 
Back from where I came from 
I say good-bye 
But I will be back next time


Details | Free verse | |

NEVER

I have no need for hugs-
Trees should just be firewood-
I think I'll wear yellow today-
History is only in the past-
Anarchists will surely prosper-
I'm giving up poetry forever-
I'm sorry I loved you so dearly-
I solely stand for the ICP-
What's death? It's nothing!-
My feet are the prettiest in the world-
I've never been loved-
I'm happiest when I'm alone-
Viva Bill Clinton!-
I have no reason for being here-
Notice something wrong? You should!
These are things I'd never say.


Details | Free verse | |

Monkey Flower

My little monkey flower
why are you crying?
Why are you so sad?
Sure things might not be the best
but they aren't that bad
I know you're hurting on the inside
you think I don't understand
how could I? 

My little monkey flower
please don't hide your tears
that just makes it hurt so much more
when you finally them go
I know the world may be moving too fast
you can't seem to catch up
I promise that it'll soon slow down

Monkey Flower, you silly little girl
just think of how strong you will be
once this whole stage is is through
I promise you'll find a different 
brighter side to you
But for now, I understand
you must cry your tears
My little monkey flower


Details | Free verse | |

A Key To Me

Girl Side

A lock and chain surrounds my heart. 
As true love can only have the key. 
A person comes and tells you that they love you.
But can you believe them when you walk away?

A boy looks at you and smile.
You look back and think this might be the one.
Until he goes and breaks your heart until it lies almost dead,
clinging to life itself. 

You thought that someone would come and be your prince charming. 
And then you find out that it’s a lie. 
When is it going to be my time to have a love in my life?
Or when is it going to be my wedding day? 

A boy makes you feel comfortable 
and 
make you feel as if you were on top of the world. 
Then you wait for him at the tree that you two named 
YOURS 
but he doesn’t shows up. 

You makes changes. 
You let him go and cry until you fall asleep.
Now you feel as if the world was on top of you,
and your not on top of it. 

Boy Side

A girl comes along tell you that you are very cute.
You tell her that she is too.
But then she has a boyfriend. 
You feel set up.

You sit at your kitchen table scribbling on a piece of paper. 
“I hate myself. I hate myself,” a million times.
You think about death and why hasn’t it came yet. 
Makes you realize that you want to be different.

A girl is alone at a park bench
And she’s crying. Blood shot red eyes look up at you
You asks her is she okay. 
She looks at you and nods yes.

You make her feel comfortable
and 
tell her that she’s pretty. She kisses you. 
You start to date. 

Then you find out that she has other “friends”
She tries to explain.
You don’t let her.
You lock yourself in your bedroom for the rest of the day. 

You feel unwanted. Underserved.
You want to run away. 
You make a path of your own.
And never look back. 

Just ‘cause live throws rocks at you,
don’t let it win. 
Make you lifestyle yours. 
And don’t never give up on true love. 


Details | Free verse | |

Unfinished Life

I wake up in the morning,
Wondering who I’m suppose to be.
Will I act like her, or just try to be me?
How do I dress?
Or even fix my hair for today.
Will I wear this or that?
Walk or drive?
Scream or cry?
Who am I suppose to be,
If I'm suppose to change?


Details | Free verse | |

Memories

Memories haunt and yet they lead.
They help us to find our way.
Memories bring choices with comparisons made.
Memories lead to decisions as corners we turn.
But memories are fluid and change as life goes on.
We forget and discard what we don’t want.
Later we revisit and change images again.

Resentments change to love and care long lost.
Achievements verses what we gave up.
Even wrong can become trying to do right.
Other viewpoints open the older we become…
Then we revisit and memories change again.
Memories can be truth or lies, but they are always…
As fluid as the life from which they come.


Details | Free verse | |

The Girl

She's the girl that quietly Sits alone by the window, watching Only speaking when spoken to I admire the ability she has To get lost in her own thoughts Like the world is her puzzle to solve And I wonder sometimes If she ever sits quietly alone And thinks about me I say shes beautiful But i could never say it Out loud for her to hear Instead I sit quietly And I watch her watching And admire from afar


Details | Free verse | |

Puppy Love

A cute Couple
The missing piece 
Of the puzzle 
It was you and me
Souls as unity
Who always use to cuddle
snuggle up in the cold nights
And listen to each others troubled past life
We both could imagine being in our life's
Until the day we both die
But love is blind, Tunnel vision
On a one way mission
But our two tickets two our destination were missing
The destinations was love town
Our kids would make us so proud 
But that wasn't meant to be
Everything happens for a reason you see
There a season you going through
There's a reason why hasn't yet come to you
Now under the pressure
Of our toxic relationship became so venomous
I gave you my mothers necklace
while you threw it to ground you broke its chain
The circle trust can not be re gained
Ripped up my love letters
Because you were seeing some many other fellas
be-hide my back you got me jealous
I flipped, you know i went reckless
All i could see was the red mist
But i would never strike you with my fist's!
No matter what anyone thinks
Sometimes I think you say things
Just so you can get a reaction out of me
So you can get me to say “i love you baby”
But you don't need do that
I tell you “i love you” not enough and i know that
I got trust issues but your not helping through that
Telling me you with another guy ain’t healthy
This relationship has become overwhelming 
Now i reread your texts
To see if you left any subliminal messages
In the hope we get back together
Because I remember the good times better
Than the worst but 
I picked the phone up, I got your number up
But I’m too scared to ring you up
I don't want to buckle first
Maybe it was puppy love
But love still hurts.


Details | Free verse | |

Discrim-a-Nation

I watch as you
discriminate
in this sad little nation

I watch as you refuse
to hire him
or befriend he

I watch as you fall
into a sad habit
as you keep him from moving up
and act lie we're dumb

I watch as you become
like everyone else
always discriminating
without even a thought

I watch as this becomes
a discriminating Nation
Well, you know it is
     DiscrimiNation.


Details | Free verse | |

Too Quiet

The Silence is strangling me,
I try to talk,
I try to scream,
But I can't.
The Silence has now moved from
My throat to my stomach,
Pounding and
Punching it.
I gasp for air
And try to speak
In an attempt to
End the Silence,
End the Suffering.
My head is throbbing from
The memories of her swirling around in my mind.
The Silence taunts me
And reminds me of other times I had with her.
I look to my mother
Pleading for her to ease my pain.
But I see she is suffering too,
Not from the Silence,
But from the Information.
She hangs up the phone
And begins to tell us,
Begins to break the Silence.


Details | Free verse | |

vulnerability

Someone to call when things start to crumble,
Someone who's there when I need to be humbled,
A friend to hold on when all else let go,
All mistakes, secrets, dreams you already know.
No coy diversions from honesty here,
A brave vulnerability without any fear.
A best friend born for those times of distress,
Someone, the secrets of my heart to confess.
Completely trusting this will never end.
Knowing on each other we will always depend.
No words to thank  you for helping me through,
I will always find solace in knowing I have you.
Your confidence in me provides courage unknown,
Your passion inspires me to find ardor my own.


Details | Free verse | |

The Calling

I’m sitting here another day. 
I feel as if it’s getting late. 
I don’t care what people say. 
I’m not going to that place. 
But then I hear your voice again. 
It’s calling me but we aren’t friends. 
There is nothing I can gain. 
I’m tired of living with this shame. 
I followed you around the world. 
You called us lovers until the end. 
But then you left just like the stars. 
You tore apart my empty heart. 
Yet now you sit here and call my name… 
Do you really think you can send me pain? 
I tried to give you a second chance. 
You blew it, hell, you just would again. 
People tell me I should move on. 
But what is life when you’re gone? 
I’m not saying I’ll take you back… 
Just that living without you is worse… 
Then having a heart attack. 
So I’m just sitting here drowning in sorrow. 
Though I might get better tomorrow. 
Yet still your voice is calling me. 
But don’t you get it, can’t you see? 
I loved you my whole life. 
But I would never agree to be your wife.


Details | Free verse | |

the pain of a users daughter

Her consistancy finally persuaded you to stay,
it still upsets me sometimes that she convinced you to treat your only daughter this way,
i know her addiction must be very tough, and i know crystal is her name
i used to look up to you, i used to tell my friends how lucky i was to have a dad like you,
but, that was the past befoure, meth became your soul, befoure you spun out of control,
i don't know if you ever think about the pain you have caused,
my innocent soul shattered to pieces, my heart broken while, my eyes were wide open,
no morphine can stop this uncontorolable pain, all the traumatizing memories consantly racking threw my insecure teenae brain,
i thought you could fight the addiction,
but, the truth is, you love her more than you love me,
i never knew you would fail me like this,
you looked me straight into my tear filled eyes and you and crystal told me a lie,
crystal has took away your honor of being called dady now your just my biological father,
she will follow you to your death bed, while your laying there alone and so filled with fear, you'r personality always filled with blame, its so sad to know she put you to shame and you can only blame yourself
you will not let her go; so i must say good bye


Details | Free verse | |

Waiting on That Call

If only I could kiss u as many times as I shed a tear last night.
I wish i were older. I wish people would  realize we are just two lonely kids trying to find a way in this world. I hope when the time comes for us to meet again we don't regret a thing. We will work out perfect we won't have to make anyone happy but ourselves. But for now, goodbye. I hope your life is as fun and amazing as you have made my life these past few months. I hope your successful, and I hope you find someone who loves you as much as I do. I hope you are happy in everything you do. Anyone who is yours is really lucky. Just know that when you need me to keep our promise, to find and fall back in love with each other, I'm where I always said I would be, waiting on that call, and on that day my life will be complete.


Details | Free verse | |

Dignity

Some have the dignity
To admit that all they have
Is mortality

Others only show
Their corruption
Through drugs

Yet all are the same
In the way
That they
Are ecstatic
Because they have just
Enough endurance to get through
Life

Some cut to find
Harmony but only become
Mindless drifting souls
Slowly dying and turning 
Into the forgotten

Others drown themselves
In the notes and melodies
Of music to find peace
But are only criticized
And put down

Yet all are the same
In the way
That they
Change to find
A sense of comfort
WIthin themselves

Some turn to waves
To drown out the shame
And save their virginity
To escape conflict

Others fly kites
Over rainbows thinking
It will keep people from finding
The hate and fear inside

Yet all are the same
In the way 
That they
Have anger and depression
Deep within their soul

Those who chose
Not to accept this way
Of life followed
The evil and decided on death

For some death is suicide

For others it's drugs and alcohol

But it's all the same 
As it's all about a decision
Of feelings and desperation
Of the heart


Details | Free verse | |

Graduation

Here we are at the end of a trail
We took some wrong turns but were able to find the path again
Echoing behind us in our memories are our achievements
And our disappointments
We laughed with our peers since grade school til' now
Fights started and ended between friends and foes
Everyone mourned the loss of classmates that were taken away
And together we all encouraged the representatives of our school
For these last four years we tried our best
But not all the time
Now graduation is here
The time to say goodbye is near
Together with our futures uncertain
We step off the trail and begin to pave a new road


Details | Free verse | |

A WANDERING SOUL IN EXILE

My youth was too brief
and whenever you felt distraught, 
I clutched my belief:
to give faith a defined worth;
free, but not truly liberated
as a wandering soul in exile:
reminding itself of how it inwardly bled
amid thoughts that knew no minimal dire...


Freedom has the dearest prize:
I either acclaim it with excitement,
or I lose it to that folly that destroys life;
nothing about incomprehension is an efficacious attempt,
which enriches a rebellious mind full of enmity,
but can I realize its enormity?  


A disconsolate person is a wandering soul in exile,
lacking insight and enthusiasm:   a self-evident liar  
who's never warned of terrible consequences, 
dispelling honor and truth, feeding on worthless pride: 
to disassemble what was built with enormous sacrifices;
always distrustful, arrogant and unappreciative of uprightness,
pleasing in discord and disunity to satisfy an ego 
without self-esteem to continually spread sorrow...


How can anyone fasten with cords a rightful spirit,
to enslave it and enforce a punitive silence?
A morning star is most beautiful before sunrise,
mortals are most admired when they inspire, captivate 
and show endearment in their true and endless emotions:
to evoke their past liberties that time has left intact...  
  


Details | Free verse | |

11:37

According to my clock it's eleven thirty seven, but I won't feel the heartbreak until 
ten past my midnight curfew. I'm just a little too fragile and far too easily hurt, or 
so I've been told by my assortment of safety pins and sewing needles. I was too 
busy wasting space to catch the conversation, but not too busy breathing to miss 
those few whispered words. I'm such a fool, blissfully oblivious to the fact that 
you never really cared. I blame my ignorance on the silence of my walls. Who 
knew they could lie so convincingly, or did I fail to recognize their lack of truth for 
honesty?


Details | Free verse | |

A person of my kind

			
I have a new perfume, It’s called: Acid from my Stomach
It doesn’t smell very good, but I put it on anyway
Sometimes, once in a while in just leave the bottle in the drawer
Because I don’t need to please anyone, or please myself
This concentrated liquid  made a new person out of me
Someone i never though i would be
It, a disease
I only wish that I could drop the bottle on the floor and find it in a thousand pieces
Then, it would be gone forever, the smell would eventually  fade away

I never though I’d became obsessed with  one of the essential element of life
Control is no more in my two hands, none sense took care of it
My finger, the most useful tool in a person of my kind’s life is controlled by  gilt
Gilt, a feeling, a leader, an influence increased by temptation

Shame is an enemy for a person of my kind
I swallow my words 
For the fear of being categorized 
A category unapproved by the society 

A walking disease, is what I am
Maybe they’re right, maybe it’s a big deal after all
Believe, trust, no! It is not possible for a person of my kind
A person of my kind, a bulimic


Details | Free verse | |

regrets

the things i always regret
are the only things i cant forget.
play over in my mind at night
to numb my thoughts, and loose my sight.

its over now so i shouldnt remember
but no fire can burn them, so they stay as an ember.
to haunt my past and force to remind
every kiss every touch every minute of time.

nothing washes off what i used to be
so im left at the mercy of memories.


Details | Free verse | |

Fireflies

Love is patient. 
Love is kind. 
The perfect way, 
To destroy your mind. 

At first it's bright and warm, 
like a million fireflies, 
I lay now in the embers, 
Everyone of them died. 

I've never felt this way, 
never thought I'd sing. 
Not after that day you threw my grandma's ring. 
You really did give that thing quite a sling. 

But I freed my soul, 
Set fire to our love, 
I ended it quick, 
I shot the dove. 

I really must go, 
It's been quite the trip. 
I need thirteen stitches, 
You busted my forehead and lip. 

As soon as these come off me, 
Doc cuts that last stitch, 
The last you'll ever see of me, 
A middle finger, mouthing the word b-----.


Details | Free verse | |

Mi corazón se pierde a ti.

My heart is lost to you, no matter whats bringing you down I'll help you make it 
through. You have this heart of mine, emotion runs so deep its almost a crime. 
Its easy to see why you're so right for me, singing so beautifully, walking hand in 
hand with me. Gazing into your eyes, staring at your smile so perfect in every way. 
I want to kiss you in the pouring rain, I want to hold you all night and day. I could 
talk to you for days at a time, still in wonder of how you became mine. I see you 
my heart races, i cannot even describe the feeling it displaces. Through this life 
you'll have many friends and many enemies, I pray that you never get betrayed, 
that you'll stay strong when they try to lead you astray. No matter what they say 
don't waste your tears, no matter how afraid don't show any fear, for no matter 
what you need I'll be here. I'll be here to wipe the tears from your face, to help you 
up should you fall from grace. Wherever this life takes you, I know there is no one 
strong enough to break you. There will be many things you'll have to make 
through remember that in one way or another i will always love you, when you 
feel like everyone has left you, you're never alone. I'll always hear your call, I'll 
never let you fall, even if you forgot I'll show you I waited through it all, I promise 
this I will do, mi corazón se pierde a ti.


Details | Free verse | |

What A Fine Day

It feels like today 
is falling into place
when I determine your face
It is bright…
A touch of light
is shone 
as glorious as the sun
Then I slip on my own face

What a fine day
I’m not ashamed to say it
It’s a perfect occasion to say it

I can’t believe it’s happening
so abruptly,
intruding a long, 
fatigued day

I’m just rolling along
Beside the ocean
Behind the mountains 

Lift up my lowly spirits
Laughing maniacally
like a freaky clown 

This fine day…
Soon withers away
with murky clouds 
turning my smile
into a frown

singing tenderly
a most calming rhythm
sending dismay
in my urbanized bones

Hiking…climbing
on vast mountains
caught in the tone
of my withering voice
and it’s about time I rejoice
better than earning a fortune
the way I sing that tune
will flip the day like a dime
revolving the night to day
echoing the same tune
like a lullaby 

The time is coming soon
What a fine day
I’m not ashamed to say it
It’s a perfect occasion to say it

I can’t believe it’s happening,
but I must roam
home and sparkle
my duty
and fulfill 
My fine day
no more dismay 


Details | Free verse | |

Suicide

It's dark

               and it's scary.

I'm still alive and breathing,

                                                 but just barely.

 

You're sitting by my bed

                                          thinking your dreaming.

You sit there and pray

                                       that I awake from sleeping.

 

You start to cry

                          about the scary thought.

That I might not wake up

                                            and you think it's your fault.

 

I want to wake

                         and tell the truth.

But I can't because the darkness is calm

                                                                          and to smooth.

 

I've got to wake,

                            I've got to tell.

It wasn't your fault

                                and I'm putting you through hell.

 

I was hurt

                 and wanted to die.

I know you didn't mean it,

                                             I know what you said was a lie.

 

We had a fight,

                          a huge war.

The war in which

                              I walked out the door.

 

I want to come back,

                                     imurge from the darkness.

And give you my heart back

                                                 and complete forgiveness.

 

I finally awake

                         and see you there.

You start to cry

                          and kiss my hair.

 

I tell you I love you

                                and I don't want to lose you.

You pull me close

                                and tell me you love me too.

 

I start to cry

                   and cover my head.

With the shirt on your body

                                               while you sit on my bed.

 

My chest hurts,

                         my chest aches.

Probably from the bullet I used

                                                       or the life I tried to take.

 

I love you so much

                                 so I have to say.

Mend my heart again

                                     and I will stay...


Details | Free verse | |

playgrounds...

Remember...

     Parties in vast, secluded fields,

         Bonfires,

             Kegs of beer...

                   Unwitting parents believing we were

                       God knows where...

Remember...

        Your touch so gentle, stroking

             My golden brown hair,

                  Driving me home ~ majorette practice...

    The intellectual jock in the souped-up

                Dark green Chevy Impala ~ so splendid...

Remember...

     Listening to "Sister Golden Hair"..."Daisy Jane"...

             Funny how the Night Moves in woods...

With pounding rain...our omen

            To hasten home,

My dad waiting...door opened...

Remember...

       You walked miles to see me

                            By my pool wearing but a tiny white

       "Do Not Tailgate" string bikini...

                                  Our initial gateway to passion...

                   I wonder...

Was it love, or simply raging pheromones..........................


Written for Timmy...................


Details | Free verse | |

Midnight Castle Rendezvous

  Swans........................
.play across the cattail towns,

laden down with white,

friendly fawns adept at dancing 

shallow stones...................

and on.........

into the climbing courtyard,

  Whisper where.......

and go there.......

not too far or near,

for fear the bells

upon your ankles

speak the truth too well,

and servants lips  may tell

the broken words

to try and kill our love.

  Fierce...........the midnight hour

seeks us out

to be our last...................

  Farewell .........

is written

in the stardust

powdering the stones.

  Goodbye............,

becomes the fireflies light,

and my heart grieves........

alone...........................


Details | Free verse | |

when

when the silence of night takes over
when the being happy just seems like too much effort
when everyone's back is turned
when all hope ceases to exist
when laughing becomes painful
when you look at the stars and wonder why they are so small
when music is the only way you speak
when everything is just a shade of grey
when you just can't run fast enough
when the sky really is falling
when secrets no longer exist
when being pushed and pulled makes you break
when the sting of being stabbed in the back turns numb
when just being yourself seems like a foreign concept
when you run out of tears
when the spark in your eye dies
when you reach to find nothing
when love is a wish not an emotion
when you can feel your heart detearierate
when leaving your room is a chore
when you wish you could just be good enough
when reality takes over
when the world is more cruel than ever
when crying is how you communicate
when you realize you have to lift yourself up
when destruction turns into recontruction
when you duct tape your life back together
when you finally grow a smile on your face
when you look up and see the sun smiling back at you
when all your efforts pay off
when you see the true you


Details | Free verse | |

Teenage Pain

a teenage girl
with so much pain.
insane thoughts running through her brain.

she reaches out
but no one sees.
this girl im describing
is really me.

no one listens, to numb to feel
wondering if heartache
can ever heal.

will have to wait
and hope it will.
teardrops falling on my windowsill.


Details | Free verse | |

Back and forth

pretty smile
Happy faces
Fakelaughter
crying tears
Holding in
Inernal pain
No more laughter
Just more tears
More stares
More whispers
Shouting out:
'LEAVE ME ALONE!'
Broken soul
Heaven or hell?
         I can't even tell....
End


Details | Free verse | |

Blocked.

My pen is stalled on paper,
Halted in mid-sentence.
I search my brain for the next word,
But there is nothing.
I look out the window,
Trying to see if anything comes to me,
A memory,
A current event,
But like a tree taken by winter,
My mind is barren.
A songbird always finds the perfect note,
A dolphin always finds the perfect wave,
Yet I cannot find the perfect word.


Details | Free verse | |

Mask

Run
Far away
no one can hurt me there
words can't reach me through these concrete walls
Pain
unbarable anxiety
my heart is so heavy
the weight on my shoulders is tearing me down.




Maybe the way I act is misleading, just take the mask off and you will see the real me.


Details | Free verse | |

Just Fashion

The clothes first worn were fussy
However, a sure sign trend.
The women's most natural mat bags,
Matched the naughty pearls on their necks.
The pleated skirts of the oldies,
Danced through comfy, trendy shoes,
And the feathered hats of the mothers,
Entrapped the dancing curls.
The shoes men fit were trendy
with crafty stylish twist,
The slim-milk-socks of the mud feet,
Worked with a cream underneath.
The make-ups followed the hairstyles
With united, wispy ends,
And the men's white scarves on shoulders,
Spread on with mild scents.


Details | Free verse | |

Father of mine

He is my protector
I stand through his lectures
Always watching 
Always helping
Sometimes He's misunderstood
I would understand him if I could
Sometimes he comes off mean 
Its very keen
But what he's really doing
Is trying to be loving
He sometimes doesn't know how to show it
I didn't come with an instruction kit
Mom gets mad and he gets me in trouble
Then he likes to giggle
And try to cuddle
He confuses me
But that is not my plea
So I better get in line
For that father of mine


Details | Free verse | |

MOM FIRST

Pulled in two
Not sure what to do
One a friend and lover
The other I am his mother

How do you take sides like that
Him calling my son a brat
No I wont see it his way
I wont give in not today

My baby may be hard to deal with at times
But you know what he is mine
I did not ask you to be his dad
And if you can not deal and have to go I wont be sad

My boys are first no matter what you see
If you try to make me choose you will be set free
I do not have to have a man in my life
I had one like you that why I am a ex-wife

So do not push me or try to pull me apart
Cause I love my boys with all my heart
If you care at all you will understand 
So please do not try and force my hand

You say that you love me 
And happy is all you want us to be
Well darling see here is the deal
First I am a mother than a woman that real

I will not play games with my kids hearts
Its them not you who keep my world from falling apart
So if you love me they come to
If not than sorry I do not need you 


Details | Free verse | |

Dreamer

I had a dream the other night
it was too good to be true.
but i guess the dream can be the future
with us together, me and you.

I hope things come together
instead of fall apart.
mabey in the future
god will mend my broken heart.

He will show me how dreams can come true
and he will take my pain away.
he can put someone in my life to love
someone who will stay.

I will get through the challenges
and the obstacles in life.
I will say goodbye to depression
hurt, anger and strife.

I will become a happy person
with the future to plan out.
in my dreams
is where its all about.


Details | Free verse | |

Teen Angst

“Alice!”
I wondered
Why she called my name
Another days lecture
Or a little nagging pain
“Alice!”
Forget it
I won’t talk to her today
No more petty put downs
About my habits and my ways
“Alice!”
That woman 
She won’t tell me who I am
I’ll get some things together
Maybe I’ll run, if I can
“Alice!”
It’s endless
I hate the way she cries
Whenever something happens
Whenever someone dies
“Alice!”
I loathe her
The way she’ll hit me only once
I can’t stand my own self sacrifice
And how it come through in her touch


Details | Free verse | |

Honor Thy Parents

`Honor thy father and mother` ~Ten Commandments it is She who has given birth to me, it is He who has worked to raise me, it is They who have given me life and kept me alive. I should be expressing my eternal gratitude, My undying respect and sworn obedience, yet what do I do? Their kindness and love, I forsake, Their faces, weary from working to support me, I curse at, The loyalty, respect and gratitude they deserve, I forget. I bury myself with guilt, I don`t know how to ask forgiveness, I find it hard to express my feelings with honesty. I have at least filial piety, Obligated by nature and by God, to honor my parents. Yet till now I always curse them when I don`t mean to, I answer back before I stop my cursed mouth, and I don`t give them to honor they deserve. I am the worst daughter, I have the best parents, I cry myself to sleep.


Details | Free verse | |

I never thought

I woke up today wanting to see 
him
But knowing I couldn't
I wonder how he could leave 
me like this 
I cry over him all the time 
I wonder if he knew how much 
I love him 
I wake up every morning 
thinking it was all a dream 
But I'm soon reminded by the 
emptiness in my heart that it 
was all real 
Everyone tells me they are 
sorry and it's going to be ok 
But I know they are all wrong
So I walk through the doors 
and down the isle with tears 
blinding my vision 
I stop in front of him
I lean down and give him my 
last kiss and whisper to him 
that I love him
I know he can't feel my kiss or 
hear my words but I know he's 
always watching me 
His casket is closed
I leave with a broken heart and 
a life time of memories that will 
haunt me forever.


Details | Free verse | |

Disappointment

The worst feeling in the world is knowing that you're somebody's
disappointment
you let them down,
or betrayed their trust,
or somehow broke their heart

Mum asks me,
"What is wrong with you?"
I say I don't know
But it's been a tough
few weeks for me
please, just let it go?

My dad says he is proud of me,
then I get an 88
after I get the news he says,
"Where's the 100%?"

The worst feeling in the world is knowing that you're somebody's 
disappointment
you let them down,
or betrayed their trust,
or somehow broke their heart


Details | Free verse | |

Stuck in Now

A child swinging on her tire swing,
smiling at her father,
the sweet smell of dewy grass filling up the world.
Does the father know the girl will grow up have dates, scream, 
disobey his every command and
at one time in her life lose his trust, drink, lie
and sneak around. 
No, he does not know but for know what the future brings does not matter,
for he looks at her as an angel given to him bye god and created bye love. 
So the world falls away while only she matters to him. 
He is happy that earth is stuck in now.


Details | Free verse | |

This Girl

There's this girl.
Everyone knows her,
well, of course they do.

She has a reputation.
Not a good one,
or a bad one.

One mistake on her part,
just one. It changed everything.
How was she supposed to know...
Know what would happen.

It didn't really affect her though...
She just lost someone close.
Now she is alone.

She gets whoever...
Whatever..She wants.
She steals guys..Ruins lives.
It only makes her happy for a little while.
Still, she never smiles.


Details | Free verse | |

Remembering Punk.

  As I was coming of age,
  punk was all the rage.
  The older generation,
   had the Beatles,and Stones.
   I had Sexpistols and Ramone's
   Sham69 and the Clash,
   the Jam and the Dammed.
   They would strum their guitar's so fast,
    sing so loud,
    some times spitting in the crowd.
    The message was loud and clear,
     anarchy is here.
    It was not all so obscene,
   a woman called Debbie Harry ,
   came on the scene.
    A woman with blond hair,
   and such an erotic air.
   I had pictures of Debbie on my wall,
  for her; I would have done anything ,
   anything at all.
 With her band Blondie they had a good sound,
  turned the punk world upside down.
 "Atomic, "Union city blue"
  "Hanging on the telephone",
  to name a few.
  Her music I still hear,
   remembering memories dear.
  I know she is older today,
   but she sill has the erotic aura,
     of  yesterday.                                                          


Details | Free verse | |

understanding you

The lover in me wants to love you 
no matter what you do
the woman in me wants to talk it out
the avenger in me wants to make you 
hurt like i am hurting right now because of you 
the forgiver wants to say it's ok 
the shy one in me wants to just crawl in my shell
but the whole of me wants to understand how 
you can say you love me and want to spend the 
rest of your life with me when you hurt me so 
much and don't seem to care that you do
how do you act like i'm the problem and your the 
victim here? help me understand please? why do you 
push me away instead of holding me close?


Details | Free verse | |

The Take Over

The suffocation, when did it take over?


Why is it so hard to breath? 


'Why' is such a common question with absolutly no answer.


Why do we want it?


Why do we need it?


Why why why why why why why?


I don't understand, understand this pressure, this suffocation.


I can't breath,


but maybe I dont want to.


Maybe then all the suffocation, the pressure, the questions....


maybe they'll all go away...


Maybe, Just maybe.


Details | Free verse | |

What it is

I 
I am 
I am more then what this poem can hold
Broken bones
Empty hands
A full head
Impossible dreams 
Do you like making 
out?                                                                                                                                   
Hold my hand…
I am your declaration of independence written in skin, eyes, and lips
I am your libertine 
Possibly dead air will pass me while I struggle to explain 
Don’t leave until you understand
I am a proud kitten who tears at any and every inconvenience to my own 
destruction 
I, I, I 
Me 
There is no I in me
Yet my mind is still fully focused on it 
It being I 
A thing—to recognize by the time I give it away to someone who doesn’t 
understand 
What it is 
What is it?
A chocolate flower on the highest mountain 
A lost girl in a field of maybes
A brilliant queen on a throne of a united nations 
A coy child wrapped in blue sheets--naked, cold, shy, muddled, afraid, alive, and 
unaware of it all
A faithful rarity in a sea of uncommon coincidences
Whatever it is
It is an I a me and all at once… 


Details | Free verse | |

Life...

It's truly not that complicated.
If something doesn't go your way,
then breathe in, 
Look at that sky,
and just blow all the anger away.

Life shouldn't be this complicated.
We're still young.
Take the good, leave the bad.
That's the way life should be.

Life isn't complicated.
So just enjoy it.


Details | Free verse | |

Beauty and the Beast

A girl walked up and asked me,
"what is the definition of beauty?"
I smiled, and took out a piece of paper
I started to write and i said
"Beauty? That's an easy one"
Beauty is dark green eyes
Its a voice that's always laughing
Beauty is wavy brown hair
Its a heart that never stops caring
Beauty is self - conscious
Its always looking to be better
Beauty is silly
Its carefree and ready
Beauty is open-minded
Its loyal and its kind
Beauty is my friend
Its never left my side
To give you a definition
I'd need a thousand words
Beauty is endless
Its timeless and eternal
But to keep things short
I'll tell you a secret
I looked up my paper,
and i looked at the girl
I looked at her dark green eyes
and her wavy brown her
i looked at her smile
and i listened to her laugh
and i got close to her and i whispered
"Beauty is beautiful"
She looked up from the paper,
a smile on her face
Tears are in her eyes and she said
"Your beauty is me"


Details | Free verse | |

Escape

I’m tryin to escape
For heavens sake
The noise 
I must escape
I gotta escape
Use my loneness as a cape
Before I start  guerrilla welfare
Like Planet of the Apes
You may ask why
Why must I leave
I might cause destruction
Call it killin eve
I must escape
Because of my feeling combination 
Headache + Anger cubed equals
A bad combination
I give you this information
To better our relation
I do not want to offend
But you and I 
I must defend


Details | Free verse | |

truthfully speaking

Coming into a new world we need to share, our fear of bush being here another 
four years.

Sins being done on a daily basis and the ones who teach us children are being 
label as racist.

It’s sad what this world is coming to; the next one to be accidentally shot by a cop 
could be you.

Babies that are not even two are being killed. If you ask me the whole world just 
need to chill.

We need to go work to pay bills and the new hip thing to do is a people poppin 
pills.

The way I feel will never stop, just like people hustling on the block.

Little girls having babies, and you just found out that man next door to you is crazy.

Don’t sit and hate, just listen and try to relate. Don’t get mad or try to graphs the 
negativity of my words just know

I’m truthfully speaking


Details | Free verse | |

Reign

Voices Reign, 
Tall 
Short 
Skinny 
Fat 
Ugly 
Unwanted, 
She stands alone. 
In a mirror, 
She sees beauty. 
Here and now, 
She doesn't imagine the coke-bottle waist only attainable by purchase of the latest Barbie.
She sees beauty. 
Colors like the sun and the moon, 
The vast oceans to the unfathomable skies. 
Here in the mirror, she sees beauty. 
Until she opens her eyes, 
And voices reign.


Details | Free verse | |

The Voice Not Heard

I often wonder is this how it is always going to be, only showing our love electronically.
Do you think we will ever get the chance to hold each other’s hand?
I’m in love with you but, I do not know.
Sometimes I’m worried is this as far as we are going to go?
It does not change a thing.
I love you for always being the person you are with me.
So tell me why; why does it feel like it is just a fantasy? 
I have dreamt of your voice.
It is different ever time. 
I wish I knew it so it would not feel like a lie.
I wish that you would take the time.
We have never spoken.
We know nothing of each other’s lives.
The past does not matter.
I just want to know why?


Details | Free verse | |

Thin Glass Window

There's a thin glass window
That separates us from the world
They're inside, looking out
While we're outside looking in
Judged for everything they can see
With their cold biased eyes
We are different from them
And there's a thin glass window
Thast separates us from the world


Details | Free verse | |

To walk out your door

It takes uncertainty, I know 
to walk out your door 
and walk through another that’s not yours 
Of course, there’s too a course 
that other, unfamiliar, shoes use 
There are signs and there are signs 
not always along the way 
There is opportunity 
there is stop’n wait’n see 
choices others can’t make 
You’ll find too, things that go wrong. . . far from the right 
Afternoon. . . turns to morning. . . skips to night 
There is certain to be a promise. . . a goal. . . a loss 
and love’s. . . not yet in the toss 
Advice listened, taken and given 
Too few things, too many things. . . you’ll come to know 
It takes certainty 
to walk out your door


Details | Free verse | |

New Beginnings

My heart was once yours and now it's gone
Another door to my heart has opened
And now you're gone
But you and him still have keys to my heart.
I try to change the locks, but you both figured them out
This new door is all too familiar
I open it to see him.
The friend I've known for a year
Tears streaming down his beautiful chocolate skin
His red bulls cap nice, slender, and thin.
He walks into my heart and things begin to change.
The once dark empty place
Has lighten up by the smile on his face.
It has started again, but I'm afraid to let him, too
Knowing that one day this beautiful room will go back to pity.
The darkness, loneliness, and depression.
He makes me feel beautiful, funny, and amazing.
He swears there is no one else like me.
I love him, I truly do.
But he can't take the full place in my heart because it's my choice to choose.


Details | Free verse | |

Once Upon a nightmare

As I close my eyes I linger slowly to sleep.
As I fall into this world of dreams.
I see you face once again.
There you are once more in my arms as we dance.
Your lips press softly upon mine as the passion flares.
Once more our song plays in the background.
Once more I sweep you off your feet.
So light as we dance upon the floor.
Our eyes meet the song comes to an end.
I place a rose in long beautiful hair.
Your smile is like a gift that warms my smile as it spreads upon your face.
Your eyes change color from the glare of the moon as they shine.
To hear your heart as it sings in a loud song as I melt.
Once more a kiss upon your lips before I awake.
But to open my eyes an realize its too late. 
Waking up in disapointment to see you aren't by my side.
To only cry and wish I still had you here.


Details | Free verse | |

Wounded

Lonely and alone, single now with the children my only comfort and yet a reminder.
The divorce a tug of war between me and her for what once was mine, I thought.
My heart lies languid and still a deep dark mountain pool, without flutter or ripples.
The waves and white water emotions will come flooding in after dark.
Our little ones must not glimpse in me the ugly cuts and scars of your infidelity. 
 I force myself into our once cramped now too empty bed.
 I can now cry quietly in solitude for love and affection like a wounded animal.
I silently scream to be touched, to be reached for, and to be desired.
I miss you I still love you I would forgive you I still want you, Joe where are you?
I hide in the shadows of my despair, dream of killing her, torturing painfully and slowly?
I’ll be gouging out her eyes with one degrading glare a smile and a snicker.
I’m gutting her slowly with only the nightly beckoning of my little finger.
A tryst in the Sykes parking lot in the back seat of our car inches from your son’s safety seat.
Pass a silent gift a potential killer and ruin her womanhood and child bearing potential, almost taking her life.
Rip apart her family with whispered AM phone calls and PM come hither stares.
Strip her self-esteem and ego depositing them without remorse in a blender set to puree.
I would do to her all that she has done to me and more, I am lonely, alone, single now and only them to thank.
  

                                                                 Summer Gratias


Details | Free verse | |

Escape

It's been so long
Because I know the sun is gone
I've performed the deadliest sin
And now I fear the walls are closing in
You've done the impossible
Love, lust, envy...unstoppable
Time is up you must repay
All the wrong we've done today
Don't give up it's not that scary
When the next step is taken just be weary
I know our journey has been crazy
But this is no time to be lazy
Not much further I see the light
Bars are broken let's continue our plight
Into this everlasting night


Details | Free verse | |

Reminiscing

  Sitting there thinking, looking back on your past. Remembering the good and bad memories. Some make you wonder what you where ever thinking and then some make you smile ear to ear just like you were that day and some you remember how happy you were and how much you miss that person but they were ripped from you and now you alone in the dark with nothing but memories.

  As you sitting there reminiscing on all the times you've had you begin to wonder. Why did this happen? Why did this happen like this? Why me? Life is full of why's and if's. You just have to know what choice to make and how to answer life greatest questions. With every movement there's a purpose. With every tear there's a person causing it to fall. With every laugh there's someone there to share it with you. 

  When you're sitting there, do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you never met that person and had that moment? Sometimes life has a funny way of doing things. You may feel like sometimes its for the worst when really its for the best. Sometimes its just to have those memories to reminisce on when you're sitting there talking to your grandchilderen. Sometimes life is unexplainable. You live day by day, moment by moment, and you will never know what to expect. 

  Life is nothing but something to reminisce on. Whether it just happened now, a week ago, months ago, or many years ago. Each moment will always be there with you. When you sit there and reminisce on all the times you had make sure you cherish each one. 


Details | Free verse | |

the big one eight

today, sister, you are an adult
among the hurried ones in suits
attention cast to watches and briefcases.

today, sister, i cannot look 
upon the numeral of your age
without the feeling i have missed something.

today, sister, it is not just a birthday.
the whole house has fogged up
with unknown feelings.

today, sister, my throat is dry
when i try to show my joy
of this day when you were born.

today, sister, perhaps
it is i who simply cannot fathom
that you are the child i grew up with

no longer.


Details | Free verse | |

Nothing will break us.

Laying by the river thinking, about you, about us, why you? why us? Looking back I realize: it must have been because of a lot. Like you being the first to talk to me, and me getting the quickest crush on you, and our friendship developing more and more overtime. I see now what makes me and you an Us. Its the way your eyes catch mine, the way I fit perfectly in your arms, the way you make me smile like never before, and the way that thinking of you causes that warm and fuzzy feeling. I never thought a crush could turn into This. What we have is: soo real, soo serious, soo amazing. Nothing will break us.


Details | Free verse | |

To Sleep In Peace

It comes to me in dark of night

The sudden need for fight or flight,

A sound below me, wakes me up

I pull the blanket up to my chin

And hope the sound will not come again.

 

Soon daylight creeps into my room

Nights fright slowly eases, seems silly and unreal

Rise swiftly from the warmth of my bed

Bathe then dress, hot coffee clears my head.

 

A day of work and jobs to do

Mind fills with nothing, busy and blank,

Tackle each task, but finish none

The day quickly over before is has begun.

 

Climb the stairs to my dark bedroom

Slide between cold sheet and lie down

Wish and pray for a peaceful sleep

Push away the fear, bury it deep.


Details | Free verse | |

Life's choices

Walking down the hall Smelling drugs, alcohol and weed Wondering why life tends to be this way I know that life's a challenge but that's not an excuse for your actions Turn the corner more weed, more drugs and more alcohol My lungs collapsed in seaing pain Why do you hurt yourselves this way Little boy's who are barely grown Smoke day in and day out Saying that it is just a phase Even now the girls do it too Smoking, hallowering and slowly ruining their lives Saying life is wicked but who are you to criticize life when you don't make it any better I try not to say anything but my heart hurts in sinking sand My nose burns from constant pain They say drugs a devil but still you befriend the devil They say it brings nothing but pain but still it's a tempting demon You can't keep on making excuses Life would always be a challenge All you have to do is face it


Details | Free verse | |

Padded cell

He can drive me crazy
Sometimes he is so lazy
He is disrespectful and rude
Never get enough food

He is thirteen 
A high strung eating machine
However He is also my baby boy
At night he still sleeps with his stuffed toy

So yes sometimes I am lost and scared
Cause with a teenager my life is shared
But I will do what all moms do 
Put up with the teenager who should by all rights live at the zoo

If you have one you know what I am saying is true
If not than lucky for you
And those moms with little one beware
The teenage years have to be handled with care

You will go crazy with worry and stress be put to the test
And you will have days that are the best 
Just remember that they are still your little angels
Just now they have horns to hold up their halos

But do not let me scare you please do not despair
They do make great coloring for the gray in your hair
But don't think when nineteen hits you are though
I am thirty four my mom says I give her gray too


Details | Free verse | |

The Mirror

(I bet you didn’t)
Know
That
All teenage girls
Would grow
To either
Love
Or to hate
The mirror.

Wretched mirror.

Those that hate it are scorned
For lack of self-confidence
But if they don’t hate it
They love it too much
And those who do love it
Are praised for (shallow) beauty
And narcissus wins.  

Others are scorned (by the less un-wise)
For VANITY
And America has just lost
Another female
To rape, lust, and other fragments.
America just lost another woman
To wholesome possibilities
Of happiness.


Details | Free verse | |

Parking Lot

It's not the same concrete parking lot that it was years ago.
Eternally characterized by the graffiti decorating the cold stone.
Those stiff business people aren't like those that populate it after dark.
Hardcore music used to echo around the underground haven
while teenage miscreants and outcasts ignored the rising moon and passing 
time.
Those kids grew up too long ago
The parking lot's abandoned now, and it'll never be the same again.


Details | Free verse | |

I Want the World to stop Moving

I want to bend my fingers 
so far back, I feel the 
nails on my wrist bone

Crunch them into fists
until fingertips
pass through the 
other side

Scream in agony
and retch until
I my heart stops
screaming

I want to bend my fingers
so far back, I feel the
nails scrape against the
wrist bone
...So far back
I'll finally be free
to live in the past


Details | Free verse | |

A born creation-the meaning of life

Life has gone really far
Memories in the past I cherish
Remember the past when you first were born
How you was able to move your hands,
The first person you saw when you woke
Have you ever noticed that each step you take is a new part of life?
Each step, you get older
But, one step wiser as well
Noticed that every born creation is not perfect
But the fact that knowing we're not perfect makes us perfect
Everyone has faith, belief, religion a body, a home, a family of your own
But we only have one life

Have you ever noticed that love is an imagination
Something that was never there but it controls our life
But we still need it.
Ever notice that everyone does things in life they are not proud of
But its not suppose to stop us from doing our job.
Every end has a silver lining
So do you until you see that light
Have you ever noticed how people use words to control us
Continuously making us guilty, bad, and sick of ourselves
But what people don't know is that those words don't really exist
Our mind do not process those usefulness of words
The only vocabularies our mind can comprehend are: victorious, powerful beyond measures.

So step back let your soul enjoy the ride.
Anyone that tells you what’s up,
Tell them the sky.
Because it’s your time to shine
And just when you think you've
Reached the end...
Start all over again!!


Details | Free verse | |

Nothing

I just wanted you to be there for me.
For you to love me unconditionally.
Nothing I do is ever good enough but at least I 
tried.

When no one else listened.
I sat there and help.
Now you turn your back to me.
I guess that's all this will ever be.

Nothing. 

You laughed in my face when I said my goodbyes
and told me that it's not worth the try.
But, I’ll prove you wrong.
I won't be back.

This is what I call revenge.
Leaving you here without an end.
I'm gone now. No turning back. 
So say your goodbyes and hope I don't laugh.


Details | Free verse | |

Unnoticed

You stood, the center of attention
All eyes fixed upon you
I stood unnoticed in the back
My admiration exceeding all others

You were with her, so happy
They thought you were the perfect couple
I was unnoticed, off to the side
Wishing that I was her

You fell behind, beaten and broken
Ignored, disregarded, seemingly alone
I was unnoticed, but catching you as you fell
Crying, now knowing I'd never be seen

All this time you've lived your life
Full of both good and bad times
All this time I've been unnoticed here
Loving you more every day


Details | Free verse | |

You're my everything

you're my EVERYTHING
when we first fell in love...i thought nothing could compare
to the magical romance that you and me had come to share
but as time passed..
feelings deepend
and our closeness grew
the romance turned into a real lasting love with you
you care for me in ways i want and need so much
ive felt your warmth and tenderness with every word...
every touch
i know i can depend on you for support and honesty
that patient understanding that you always give me
theres a special kind of happiness that only love can bring
and ive found that happiness with you
..you are my everything
just thought i should let you know


Details | Free verse | |

Seventeen

I once had this dream
It was in a field filled with happiness
And joyful thoughts
Now I have these dreams
Where ghosts haunt me
With the actions that I’ve done
And it’s shocking to see
How much one can mess up their life
By the age of seventeen


Details | Free verse | |

Welcome to High School

I've been
The smart,
The outcast,
The prep,
The artist,
The rebel,
The popular,
The loser,
The friend,
The poser,
The fat,
The loner,
The Labeled.


Details | Free verse | |

I Am

I Am A Guy Of Many Words...
But When I See Your Beauty I'm Speechless,

I Am A Guy Of Many Doubts...
But When I'm With You They All Disappear,

I Am A Guy Of Many Stories...
But With You It's My Happy Ever After,

I Am A Guy Of Many Imperfections...
But You See My Perfection,

I Am A Guy Of Many Dreams...
But Just Holding You Beats Any Dream,

I Am A Guy Of Many Ambitions...
But My Main Goal Is To Keep You Happy,

I Am A Guy Of Many Smiles...
But You're The Reason Behind Them,

I Am A Guy Of Many Kisses...
But I Want Them All To Be With You.


Details | Free verse | |

Profond

Je blâme tu
Je vraiment faire
Chaque cligner
et chaque tort
entames the immense chagrin
parce que demain ne venir jamais
cruex nues
Le soleil reluire pas plus
Vous Gauche je avec non choix
Je suis si seul

I blame you
I really do
Each blink
and each wrong
Begins the heartbreak
because tomorrow will never come
Empty clouds
The sun shines no more
You left me with no choice
I am so alone

fatigue et si froid
debarrasser de eperer

Tired and so cold
Rid of hope


Details | Free verse | |

Spirit

I can feel your presence over my soul looming into my life I can't help wonder who you are or who I was Meant to Be Everlasting Love is what I Found in You Something I Swear to never let Go You protect my soul and keep me away from Perpetual Cold I can always need you, until despair abuses me into the dwelling Chasm from the wane of the world


Details | Free verse | |

Skies

That's not what I was thinking
I was thinking we could stay young forever and wish the days away
Those stars don't come down for even the most ambitious of us
But that moon tries hard for the ones with broken wings
Maybe one day we'll find that we're too old to see the skies anymore
And we can pretend our lives were worth every fake penny we ever spent.


Details | Free verse | |

i-ca-ru-s

what does it mean to "scream"?
is it simply to raise your voice?
or is it something you do, not a sound you make?

It is not my nature. I won't raise my voice like that.
This is my "scream".

i'll put every ounce of my energy into my promise.
i won't ever give up! you can't make me!
even if i'm all alone, i'll fight until it's over.

there's an explosion in the sky.
god is dead! rejoice!
freed of your shackles of fairytales and blinded faith,
lead the way to a revolution!

This is my silent "scream".
My head held high, pride uncaged and diffidence slain.

as long as the chance exists, as long as there's hope
i'll keep chasing my dream
the day i made a promise to you was the day the cogs began to turn
the day when color suddenly burst into my life!
i know i won't emerge from the road unharmed
but, no matter what, i won't step out of the ring.


Details | Free verse | |

Mysteries I Wanted to Unfold

This sickness that twined around my soul 
Till I became blind and couldn’t see,
Carved upon me a vacant hole 
From which ambition was set free

It had been worth living, 
When they perceived me as mature
What have I been thriving?
What on earth was demure?

They tell me I have been happy
That I was who I wanted to be
With their voices so husky,
They roll the blame all over me

They ask me not to lie
For no one would I satisfy

I endeavored to fly, loved to flutter,
But my lovely road diverged
In the sky, I could but wonder,
When doggedness would be emerged

I merely thought when
There was nothing to think about,
Endlessly sought then,
Afraid to see them shout.

Till it became fatal cold,
I ran under the rain
Mysteries I wanted to unfold
But I couldn’t remain

Who could anyway
Deny the truth and continue the play?



Jessica J. Hanna
2005



Details | Free verse | |

Magic.

I never believed.
Oh i believe,
in god, 
and in life
heaven and hell,
and i believe in you and me.

But that strange feeling of more then like
more then a crush
more then lust.
what is it?
its a fairytale. a myth, a fable a lie.
or so i thought.

And as the typical fairytale would have us know,
then you came along
you showed me how to open my eyes
how to let my heart soar.
you show me how to love.
We sit on the beach, on a bridge, on a fountain.
in the moonlight, the sunshine,and the rain.
My eyes looking into yours, unable to breathe.
unable to speak.
unable to look away.
you are all I see.
its like..magic.

Every moment goes by so quick when i hold you.
Every moment apart my heart aches.
I don't want to go to quick, to be vulnerable, to be hurt.
so the best i can do 
is to be with you.


Details | Free verse | |

Teen's Court in Section

Entered the court hall at 8:30 a.m.
Sit and Sit and nothing began.
Every name called as I patiently waited.
I was beginning to wander was his name on the slate.
He was finally called at 11:15 a.m.
The judge acknowledged mom and the charges were read.
Nathaniel tried hard to plead his case.
The judge listen closely but would not break.
“I’ve given you chances time after time.
Am I crazy or are you so blind?”
You’re going to school and not learning a thing.
Disturbing others and causing a scene.”
The public defender tried to speak up for him.
Wanted the charges drop so he could remain free.
The judge stood his ground and would not bend.
Looked at the mom and said, What should I do?
Mom help me out, I need to hear from you.
Mom spoke up -He did break the rules.
He made a mistake with the choices he made.
I can not uphold him in the wrong that he done.
He must learn from his mistakes although they were wrong.
I will agree with you Judge with the decision you made.
Nathaniel dropped his head to the ground.
He needs to learn this is his wake up call.
He will be detained thirty days in juvenile hall.
He will go to school there and bring up his grades.
Learn to make wise choices was what the judge said.




 11-30-07 took the papers back to court. Nathaniel thought he was going to come
home…Wrong….He did the crime..so he must do the time. Tough Love..It hurts but he must
learn from his mistakes.


Details | Free verse | |

Broken

I'm just living life, 
Breathing air, 
Grasping for something 
That isn't there. 
You were a lie 
I had to believe, 
Desperately wanted 
To acheive. 
You were perfect, 
Everything i could dream. 
But no matter what I gave, 
You never wanted me. 
You left. 
We're done. 
You're with her, 
I'm alone. 
A cruel melody 
So beautifully scrawled, 
You were nothing but irony, 
You wanted me to fall. 
Don't tell me how much you care, 
And then how much you wish 
She was there. 
I'm through with the pain 
And the confusion. 
Done with the side effects 
Of this delusion. 
A month of regrets, 
Regrets I loved. 


A month of regrets 
                Was all it was.


Details | Free verse | |

A boy and a Girl

Love is such a powerful thing to feel people tell teens you dont know what love is ..Your just full 
of out of control hormones. Its so much more than that. what adults dont understand is we 
would do anything to be with theone we so very much adore. Take my little story for example. 
A young independent girl starts falling for a much older guy. There is a four year span but they 
both think age is just a number. The boy tells this girl she is beautiful an gorgeous every waking 
minute he gets. he makes sure she is all in tact making sure she isnt falling apart because they 
cant see each other b/c of their amazing age difference. They talk to each other whenever they 
can. Everytime they hear each others voices they start falling for each other even more. They 
had a long talk about what they wanted to do to be together. They both decided that the girl 
would wait three years until shes of age. He keeps telling the girl hang in there b/c patience is 
always the best way to deal with this situation. They both talk about the great memories they 
already have experienced. The boy tells the girl she is amazing an worth the long, painful wait. 
He says we will make it through this little bump in the road. The end of the tunnel is far away 
but soon that light is going to shine as bright as it can an im going to run as fast as lighting 
strikes this earth an jump into my future with him. My future looks so bright an amazing with 
him. finishing highschool then college is near. But after my school days of highschool he is all 
mine. This guy an girl are going to wait for each other. In the mean time they are going to 
remember the good times an focus on the positive things. When the girl starts thinking 
negative the boy will tell her its all going to be over soon an a new beginning will come.


Details | Free verse | |

Isolated Sympathy

Heartless moral
isolated empathy
I feel sick to my stomach

Retched apathy
Sheltered - no
Saved - no
Sad - pathetically
More than anyone can know
And if only you knew
how much I ran away
from  my islolated empathy
From my empty family
If only you knew
the things I wanted to say

Isolated empathy
only to myself
now, only empty
acting naturally
nothing is as it seems
daylight drugged dreams
can you remember?
would you want to?
...If only you knew

Sick to my stomach
tell me the lies
you keep to yourself
You ask me 'Why'
I cannot answer
I cannot say a thing
because I realize now
that truth can sting

You leave while I left
now tell me, tell me
What do I have left?
You hit her
and I feel the pain
She screams
and I hear the shame
My world
now only broken
all the apologies
never spoken
isolated empathy
I keep to myself
retched sympathy
I keep to myself
Sick to my stomach
I am not myself

If only you knew
The tears I cried for you
If only you could care
The times you were never there
You were only nowhere

Empty family
isolated empathy
retched sympathy
it's all the same
all the pain
And if only you knew
How much I loved you


Details | Free verse | |

Side Effect

The walls of that room hold secrets better left untold
Wisps of vapor are still lingering
They're pieces of your soul trying to relive the excitement long since past
While the thought remains, it's too selfish to share itself
The shadows of memories are unwilling to reform for your meager existence
Maybe it's just a side effect of the sleepless nights you spent dreaming of a
future that never lent itself to a dying race.


Details | Free verse | |

freedom

dear 'lovin' parents
im taking my leave of you 
we'll see if you really miss me 
im done with all the hurt you inflict
even though i dont have any scars on the outside 
i have them where it matters most
im taking my freedom out of your hands and 
doin something for myself to actually accomplish what i want
to do in life without havin your reproving eyes condem 
me everytime i come home from school,
im tired of all the names you call me and 
the things you tell the other kids about me 
so thank you for my freedom and have a nice 
life of being control freaks and hypocrits.
i have my freedom in my grasp so this is 
goodbye


Details | Free verse | |

On Top of the World

Maybe I've said some things
I shouldn't have
Maybe I've done some things
That weren't very "Young lady like"
But I'm not a young lady
I'm just a girl
I'm a teenager
I want to just live life for now
I have my best friends behind me
And the one I love next to me
Just let me be me
Let me be
On top of the world


Details | Free verse | |

Monsters

Push further; Break the skin
Chew at the flesh; Wear it thin
(Are you satisfied?)
Pull harder; Rip out the bone
Grab at the blood; Crack stone
(Were you happy?)
Say it; Breathe it
Mean it; Break it
Anything you want; tear it down
End the scene; Make her drown
(Run away Run Away Run Away)
I've seen; I've watched
Brushed clean; Push further
Pull harder
Push farther
Let's resolve
Blur the lines; Convolve
(Run Away Run Away)
Make her breathe; Sing her song
Tell her she's right; She's wrong
(You belong; You belong)
It sees; It knows
Watch; It grows
They're never there; Break it
Prayer for the fair; Smother it
(Push further)
Break the skin; let it bleed
Riddled of sin; She has a need
(Liar Liar Liar Liar)
Eat it all; No peace
Choke on it; No release
She isn't there; you aren't real
Too much; It's not real
Chew it away; it will end
Someday


Details | Free verse | |

MY 2 BEST FRIENDS

there love for each other is like no other
it's like a flower its always in bloom
it's like a tower theres lots room
their love grows stronger day by day
in April,March,June and may
what if one day they woke up
and then the next day they broke up
it would be a shame to hear
but i would hold them close and dear


Details | Free verse | |

Reason

And we’re all just looking for that one person
Who will hold us when we cry
And laugh with us when we laugh
And we’re all just looking for that one reason
To live life the way we do
We’re all just looking for that one amazing feeling
To share with a significant other
We’re all just looking for love


Details | Free verse | |

Hate Free Hoirzon

Please watch your words
Your not worthless
They just are mindless
self indulgent
Abercrombie zombies
and they can't carry
the thought of being truly
in love
and it should never matter
what sex your partner is
love is love
so don't doubt yourself
don't doubt your love
Just because someone
is simply envying 
that fact that you love each other
more than they love themselves
because at the end of the day
nothing matters to you guys
but each other
and i hope your love
lasts forever
show them what love means
Who says
a man can't love a man
a woman can't love a woman
what makes it so wrong?
in a world where thousands
die of starvation
and resources are declining rapidly
should the love of two people
who happen to be the same sex
really be a issue?
all the diseases we need to cure
all the ships of peace
they need to sail
the constant threat of losing our homes
an everyday chore
and love
is the enemy?
this system
this rusty hate machine
of the liar's in the mad house of congress
will never have my vote
for I simply will never believe
that politicians they cheat on their wives
should have the right
to say who can marry
and who can't
 for they don't even understand
what marriage means
more like
what it should
mean
which is between
a lover and a lover
no matter who that lover is
 for We hold these truths to be self-evident,
that all men are created equal
and that love is love
so let's stop the hatred
and let's truly be free
and break forth to 
a hate-free horizon


Details | Free verse | |

Crumbs

Dreams are now bread crumbs
Little puzzle pieces we leave when we leave home
We never pick them up, never look back

Dreams are now bread crumbs
a trail we keep to memory
to find our way home

Tiny imaginary wishes
comforters that we return to
when things get rough


If dreamers are wasteful
then happiness is a lie
And all the lies in world
couldn't make me cry
I want to waste my days away
I want to cherish the crumbs
you so carelessly throw away

Breads crumbs, now dreams
A path to nowhere
but doesn't it have to lead somewhere?

Dreams are stale crumbs
pieces of bread, made a puzzle
and the picture is always missing

I want the best, for my way home
I want the dreams that never manifest
I want the impossible:

All these crumbs fto form a whole.





Details | Free verse | |

WHAT IS LIFE

Starting at the time of birth,
begins the years or precious worth.
As an infant starts to crawl,
exploring everthying from door to wall.
Then growing older still,
learning right and wrong to shape the will.
Entering those teen years,
going through blood, sweat and tears.
Becoming an adult, 
enduring the confussion assault.

All along the path,
who guides giving comfort in times of wrath.
For those never knowing the Son,
when life throws punches you be undone.
Yet for those who do,
can be protected by the One who is true.

Approaching closer to the grave,
what of your possessions can you save.
So admist the good and strife,
do know the One who can answer what is life.


Details | Free verse | |

A Lost Soul

Our linguistic limbs sulk as the
dreary day progresses.
It begs and aches for more pain
for it's grown accustomed.
The longing and desire that lingers
within the blood pulsating
As each day marches forth,
A feeling of hate submerges and
dominates the emotion sulking
back
Toward the dark core we now possess.


Details | Free verse | |

Why'd you leave me

Why did you leave me?
like you said you never would.
Im hurting more
then i thought i ever could.
I thought you said
you would always have my back.
and be there for me in this life.
but now im broken, hurt
and filled with strife.
Im done! my hearts in peices
im losing control.
the heartbreak in me
is taking its toll.


Details | Free verse | |

A Silent Connection

We cross paths
Our eyes meet
And for one quick moment, there's a bond
A connection so strong that words can't describe the chemistry between us.

But then it's all gone,
And so are you.


Details | Free verse | |

I Wonder

I Wonder If You Ever Think About Our Kisses?
I Wonder If You Ever Think About Our Hugs?
I Wonder If You Ever Think About Our Dates?
I Wonder If You Ever Think About How I Made You Happy?
I Wonder If You Ever Think About Those Movies We Watched Together?
I Wonder If You Ever Think About Who Was Always There For You?
I Wonder If You Ever Think About When We Just Held Each Other?
I Wonder If You Ever Think About When We Walked Hand In Hand?
I Wonder If You Ever Think About The Songs We Danced To?
I Wonder If You Ever Think About When We Just Looked Into Each Others Eyes?

Actually I Wonder If You Ever Think About Me?


Details | Free verse | |

Played My Heart

You played my heart,
You made me believe
We'd never part.

You swayed me,
You make believed
How we'd be.

You kissed my lips,
You made me imagined
All of what we'd be.

You loved me,
You laid beside me,
Wished we'd be 'you and me'.

You played my heart,
You made my feelings fade
Away from how we'd be.


Details | Free verse | |

I'll wait for u

Its been months things haven't changed
I still wait for you in that very stop were i first saw u
There's no point in moving on
There's no point in finding someone else 
I'll just wait for you,
my one and only
The seasons may change, 
but as you know my love never will 
Others have tried 
All of them failed 
They dont seem to understand that i'm waiting for you 
Days can go ahead and be come months 
And months can turn into years  
I know you'll come back to me 
So I'll wait for 
Pray for you 
Lone for you
You will come back to me.


Details | Free verse | |

Blame

I can't say goodbye
I won't even try
If I just had another hour
to put all my hope
All my trust
into someone that is 
no longer you
Eventually, I know I'll forgive
I can never forget
time doesn't dull the pain
it doesn't wear down regret
It is so hard to not place blame
we're both at stake
We've hurt eachother
with each and every mistake
So, whose fault is it?
So hard to name
There are things I hoped for
that are now destroyed
I can't turn back time
even though I wish 
I could make it mine
How can I look into your eyes
Lying so easily
they're the color of blue skies
that are no longer breathing
cascaded and gray
We can pretend to forget
We can pretend to pray
We're crying 
neither of us can stop
There's not a phsyical emotion
we cannot top
You can't hold me in your arms
Erase time from repeating
So I guess it's time for the clouds
to start receding
All this time I thought you were leaving
But it's me who's saying goodbye
to you, who won't even try


Details | Free verse | |

A Two-fold Epic

I'll never look back
I don't want to see
You're still waiting for me
Secrets
Meant to be Kept
Never will be
From prying eyes
I'll go alone
To escape being told
It was a mistake

No aesthetic expression for selfishness


Details | Free verse | |

Hammering

Fruitful and forbidden
Graceful and grotesque
I was born to contradict
I was created to lie
amongst my death 
I shall receive
the advantage of absence

I grow tired and weary 
of the thoughts resting in you
that pay no matter to the silent alarms
burning past your buglary

Ashes hammer at my door
wanting the entrance
to gain property to my mind
I resist, but relinquish before too long

I blame myself and no one else
for my selfish thinking
Impure thoughts and fantasies
of long dashed dreams

Sick songs slamming my head
Breaking and entering 
Past my feeble lightning rod
  Made to drive these mad energies
  away from me
  Only keeping them closer than desired

Faithful and famed
Silent and shamed
We lie consistent with the fact
That we too will break
without any pride or tact


Details | Free verse | |

While at the window

Fire ignites
and eyes watch tiny embers glow
til hot breath drags them down


Details | Free verse | |

Afraid to write, For ending

I don’t want to write any poetry,
I really, really, don’t.
I’m afraid with what I might come up with,
I’m afraid of what I won’t.
I’ve lost most care for laughing,
Most hope and love, must change…
But I’m dying and dying deep inside,
And I yearn for that to change —
To end would be a bless,
Bestowed on only me.
And a cure to all the others,
Who say they lov’est me.


Details | Free verse | |

Moment For Life

I wish I could have this moment for life. This is my moment, I feel so alive. When it's just me, myself and I and the stars in the black sky. I get what I desire, I push and work hard, this is my empire. What doesn't kill you makes a fighter, it helps you put your steps higher. What doesn't kill you also makes you stronger it helps you stand a little taller. If you think everything good is gone, get up and prove yourself wrong. Show the haters and the doubters who you are, don't hesitate to go far, reach for the stars. Get up and dust yourself off when you get knocked down. Show the world it's the other way around. Above the sky I will fly, Just me, myself and I. I wish I could have this moment for life, this is my moment, I feel so alive.


Details | Free verse | |

World

I want to know
I want to feel
The reasoning behind
being real
It doesn't seem
worth the pain
It doesn't seem
woth the shame

Is this what it's for?
To feel empty
and rejected
Is this what it's for?
pain and misery
scabs open and infected

I want to see
I want to realize
why people waste their time
in shameful demise
It isn't worth
the hurt or the tears
It isn't worth
the scars or fears

Nothing is concrete
and nothing is real
we cannot see
what we cannot feel
there's no substantial feat

It's dark
It's cold
and I'm scared
Is this what it's for?
Is this what it's worth?
It's dark
and it's cold
I'm scared.


Details | Free verse | |

Two Misfits

we were two misfits fitting in with each other in a painting
with watercolors. we bled red onto the canvas,
blue tears leaking from our eyes
we laughingly painted the sky; indigo with our hearts
smiling through the black pain
he demonstrated lyrical reign
and in return, i chose to refrain from fearing him
and his mahogany exterior
so together, we stood, leaving the bench 
with cracked paint exposing the wood
he showed me his 'hood 
as we walked on aged asphalt
i tripped and he claimed it was his fault
but the love-trip truly began when he sat by my side
whispering yellow sunshiny words into the canals
of my ear,
he possessed a knack for lies i had to decipher like Egyptian hieroglyphics 
misguided by this misfit, i chose to walk away from
his soft hugs and if you were to ask me where he’s now,
i’d shrug
pretending he left my memory 
but in my museum hangs the painting we painted together
as two misfits.. 
fitting in with each other.


Details | Free verse | |

Innocent I'm Not

Don't say I'm perfect because you're wrong
I do hardly anything right the first time
I have to practice just like you
Studying, practicing, learning, listening
Don't say "you're so smart"
Because honestly, I think I'm not
So please don't say things you don't understand
Don't say I'm innocent because no one is
I've lied, I've cheated, and I've been a pain
It just doesn't flow when you say it's all right
Because it never is and I mess up too
Perfect, smart,  innocent, I'm not


Details | Free verse | |

Turning Anguish part 1

5/21/11-5/22/11
I rule over the night
undaunted with all my might
I have time to spare all I can bare
Watching the hand chime 
tugging…pushing…shoving
through whirling toil
that feed the spoil
Perplexing strife
refusing to give up 
Power and torment 
 
We are too caught up in our own power
and ruling over each passing moment
each passing night…destroying the twin towers
 
Who’s doing all the blaming?
Who’s choosing our faults?

I’m tossed…shifting around with uncontrolled anguish 
Zipping…tripping over rambling bolts
spiraling into a mad house
Don’t enchant your intolerable voice
I see no love dwelling in this household
Do you seek for your power…
you insufferable traitor?

Seeking our upcoming doom
brewing strife in the heap of ruins
brewing strife while we still leave room
to obey and remain under power
You are assuming the worst 
father…mother…
rule over the passing anguish…circling around
stumbling around…not aware 
Hey you! play fair

Behave and stay awhile
before you feed the fire that holds sheer vile
Allow love to not be thrown away
into another pile

I grasp no love engrained 
In our giving garden
that plants ceaseless approval  
Pardon my faults
I was far from comforting sleep

Dread is driven mysteriously 
Through an endless night
Moving on the tracks 
Forming into an alarming train

Who’s doing all the blaming?
Who’s choosing our faults?
Who did the labor suitably?

worthwhile father…pleasure-seeking mother
Don’t enchant your intolerable voices
and expect us to listen sensibly 
Demanding us to do labor
and assist our displeased neighbor
Why do you melt the delight away?
Throwing away a flavor of ecstasy
and put us to glove-less labor
without putting our favor and opinion
into the overlooked pile

Burning agony
dries the buried glee
Saved for a grieving moment
Playing like a warped tune… unable to express
solitude that develops in the heart
raped by the ragged uncertainties 
without taking heed of our pleas

These desirable moments
Cherished in the deplorable journey 
They weren’t acknowledged by power
Love in those days were brand new
Do you have a clue?
they were cherished...
Bountiful…
stranded in a deserted past
in merciful beauty…caught under the spell

Where did that come to pass?
Where’s the love?
Who’s doing all the blaming?
Who’s choosing our faults?


Details | Free verse | |

Hurting so Bad

look what you have done to me.
you hurt my heart so bad
you don't even care
thats what makes me so mad.
i thought you really loved me
or was that a big lie too?
just know something
I love You!


Details | Free verse | |

Masked

Here comes the phase
Where I put on this mask yet again
I hate to act as if I care as well
Knowing that I can’t adjust a lonely thing

Feeling so hideous
Equally inside and out
Numb it all
Even me

The rind, t