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Free Verse Sad Poems | Free Verse Poems About Sad

These Free Verse Sad poems are examples of Free Verse poems about Sad. These are the best examples of Free Verse Sad poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

You Caught The Wind

I remember you, from when there was a spring When the seasons were ripe, with verdant green Our nimble feet danced in the wind and on the brink of everything Not a furrow in the brow of youth We borrowed life for just awhile We tapped our shoes, on a promised stage Where carefree laughter was the rage that filled our age with endless miles We danced and twirled a twin ballet just you and me on summer's waves Two pirouettes, in mode of curls of blossoms, frilled, and tender leaves unfurled in winds, we found a way to soar our wings, above the world We knew not yet of death or dying or of regret, or cause for crying But, something frowned upon the season You caught the wind, and without reason A colder wind that kept you flying far beyond my eyes could see And to the other side you disappeared beyond my words beyond my tears Now here alone I touch the day and taste the night remembering I will walk alone, in autumn sun And lay myself on dying leaves I think of you and think of then I feel the wind against my face that sweeps me to a distant place where I recall what is not erased I'm closer now... to hear the sound The whisper of the seasons calling Above the trees, the sky is blue I think of you, and feel the breeze And all the while, the leaves are falling
....................................................................................................... For Catie's Contest: Inspired by a poem by Elaine George: "Autumn - A Ballade"


Details | Free verse | |

Double Phantasy

Mama, did you know the precious amethyst shadow hours
I spent beside you, cuddled cosy-close, nestled in blankets of light,
shawled in your red-gold hair? I kissed each tear you cried;
each one a starlight pearl forged from the depths
of your fragile soul. I rocked seashell-shut to each lullaby note
and silently watched as you rocked my cold, empty cradle.
Sometimes you sensed me coiled at your breast -
a small balled knot of grief. You felt my tiny fingers plucking at you
as tingling shivers. And sometimes I bounced sunshine-free
on your knee, a giggling orb of light.

Little one, once again I felt you here,
entombed in the womb of this eternal everywhere room,
your spirit sifting through my fingers like hourglass sand.
Pain has blanked my mind wraith-white, but I felt
your lips nip the warm rosebuds of my nipples
as I pressed a lullaby to the delicate shell of your ear
and brief blessed seconds spun out like years.
My sentient heart will always hold you, my grip will never slip
as my earthbound hands, human-warm, reach through time
and heather-shadowed ether to love and care for you.





*'phantasy' is a deliberate misspelling, an amalgamation of 'phantom' and 'fantasy'


Details | Free verse | |

Daddy

Daddy

Daddy, why did you go away,
Don't you know I wanted you to stay!

Daddy, when you left mom,
Don't you know you left me too.
Now all I do is cry and cry
--- I want to die!

Daddy, mommy say's it's better this way,
What does she know!
There's not enough band-aids to cover up the blues
Mom's kisses can't heal this kind of pain.

Daddy, I look around 
No one stands in your garage
Daddy, You took every tool
Except the hammer and sitting stool
Daddy, I still miss you 
--- I love you. 

***
***
Dear Daddy, I'm all grown up now
Haven't seen you since I was 10

Daddy, I sit on your favorite chair,
No longer do I miss the way you caressed my hair.
Daddy, I'm taking the old hammer and this BRAND NEW saw,
It's time to patch all the holes mom punched in the wall 
*The day you walked out on us*
Daddy, don't worry about the times I tripped and fell
Mom, found someone to fix  the loose boards,
Got tired of scraping my knees 

Daddy, I finally realized I'm okay,
I agree with mom, it's better this way.

by;pd


Details | Free verse | |

Nightmares and Razor Blades

I stare at my ceiling,
I start to wonder, why am I not healing?
Then it dawns on me,
The nightmare clip starts to roll.
I shake and shiver and wince at every little thing.
I'm scared to death, 
What does this all mean?
I start to cry,
I feel as if I might die.
Then I grab my blade, 
The tears come quicker.
My breath starts to quicken,
My grip on the blade makes my knuckles turn white.
In the mirror is where I see that my ivory skin is now blotchy and red.
I tell myself, "This may be the last time, if you finally cut deep enough."
So I try my best not to make a sound 
As I sit up in bed and hold my wrist out in front of me. 
I count to three,
One, 
I put the blade to my wrist.
Two,
I start to add pressure.
Three,
I yank the blade across my skin,
It pierces and then I start to bleed.
I suddenly want it to stop, 
But there's no going back now. 
I wonder why it came to this,
I know nobody cares about me,
I know nobody is going to forget me.
Quietly I say, "I'm sorry."
But nobody is there,
No one will ever be.
I start to fade out of this world,
My addiction would finally be gone,
And so would I.
I was lost, 
Lost and angry. 
Suddenly, it was gone,
I woke up screaming.
The pain was oh-so real.


Details | Free verse | |

Northern Slaves

In the silent breathing of night,
treading through 
the darkness and the hush
(A heavy band of slave)
like black ants snaking
through the forlorn distance.
Grieving with tears
Of yesterdays burning anguish. 
They hum a languid song
On the fragrant breath of wind.
A haunt that invades my trembling eyes 
With a thousand boundless tears
That quivers through the night.

The dreaded echoes came down the black pathway
Like a thousand men 
Galloping through the sultry breeze
(Were the heartless whips that toiled)
With dumb hands,
Feeding paled pink flesh 
With endless stings of cruel misery.

The stars curled around their naked feet
As they trampled the grass 
Wet with lurid dew and the masked
Beds of fragrant hues
Prancing in the hallowed night.
I could feel the storming of their sorrows,
The rock of their heart
Drooping with defeat.
Despair a master to their fading hope
That sailed across their faces.
Oh those foul notes budding with despair
Branched within their eyes.

The lulling whispers of their shackles
United with their treading feet like hooves
Cloaked with heavy weariness
(It surrounded the dead of night)

I hung up my fears
For I was bright with their pain
Oh I died that day 
Oh I died that day
While drifting to the helpless East
To that damp cold earth filled
With drowsy mournful Asters
Then the smell of dead men came alive
Black dogs clustered to the earth
Their children beside them with gripping hands!














 


Details | Free verse | |

GRANDPA

*GRANDMA WAITS IN THE GARDEN*

Hi grandpa it's me again!
Your dentures sit in an open glass
Do you remember the tears grandma sang before she passed?
The way she looked into your eyes, 
Moments before she said her goodbyes
Grandpa, I found a note from grandma, she doesn't want you to cry.

Hi grandpa, it’s me again!
The rocking chair is old and dusty
Do you remember the way grandma sat me on her lap?
Read many stories before I took a nap
How she enjoyed brushing my hair with her hands
Love the way she rocked me to sleep every night until I grew. 

Hello grandpa!
I stored your hearing aid away
Do you remember that special musical box in grandma's drawer? 
I opened it last night, to watch the ballerina dance
I wish you could hear the tiny chimes grandma lived in
I hope you don’t mind, I’m keeping grandmothers favorite scarf.

Hello Grandpa!
I'm caressing grandma’s picture frame
Do you like the way she looked in that pretty sundress?
Grandpa, I miss the things grandmother did for you
I like the walking stick she handcrafted, the day your needed support
It kept you in balance every time we took long hikes in the woods.

Hello grandpa, it's me again! 
Here I sit holding your hand
I have no more tears
Soon you will see grandma
Please tell her hi, and I know you will be there the day I die
Bye, grandpa
Give grandma a kiss, and tell her I miss her

By; PD


Details | Free verse | |

A Wish -re-post-

A WISH -- In Memory Of 

"I Wish"

I wish I could blow air into your little lungs, 
The day my daughter brought your stillborn body into this world. 
Hold your little body warm, 
And tell my little girl you have her cute little nose....
Count your little fingers, and kiss your little toes....

I wish, 
I could look into your daring eyes, 
Facing a little boy, who's ready for this world
I wish,
I could tell my daughter you have her beautiful brown eyes...
Sadly, it’s not like that.
How can I tell my daughter everything will be all right?
When a piece of my heart was stolen with her's,
When giving birth to her son, my grandson 
March 25, 2013---- How it Hurts! 
~~~
O’ how I wish, you entered this world crying
Instead, we're the ones left in tears of sorrow
~~~
How I wish you could be, 
And not this feeling you left inside
How I wish, God could explain why o' why o' why?

Mostly, I WISH grandma could fix this, and make 
your mommy feel, the joy she was robbed of.

In memory of my grandson: ---Bael Lesley G.
Born March 25, 2013  ---   RIP March 25, 2013

----------
by;PD  :-(


Details | Free verse | |

Forty Today

Visited you today
as the sun set in the horizon…

the orange tinged carnations 
were a perfect complement 
for the skies
and for you… 
orange and blue
always remind me of you

the winds softly blew
and I just sat there
staring at the grass,
well more at your name really…

hardly believing
what I am looking at, 
that it’s been seven years

of missing you,
of just putting that reality
at the back of my mind…

But there are days,
such as today
which make me 
confront that reality—

I see your smile,
remember your laughter
celebrate your spirit
and your love

Tears, I tell you I have
the most stubborn tears
maybe because they 
make it so real for me?

I look around me
and look for that sign

Nope, not there…

I say a prayer
and speak to you
thankful for the life shared

I kiss the date that you were born

and walk away

my reflection on the car window
misty

One last look around,

and then I see it…

a cat, as we drive away…

Skies now streaked purple and pink


**My brother would have been 40 today, May 6…


Details | Free verse | |

On the outside, looking in

"When humanity becomes louder than love, stay out of its way. At times, it's better to be the lion in the distance, rather than the sheep losing their way...again."

This was the 1st time
I felt out of place.

Its impact mimicked abused parallelograms
Unto emptiness’ solution

I witness sliced wrists shedding bohemian smiles.

Testament verses
Latching onto anchors of invalid mo(u)rning

There was no sunrise to be found,
Because humanity kept making love to silhouetted blinders

I was surrounded by shovels
Ransacked
For the sake of digging louder messages’ trench

While I
Caress incipient wings
And half-full Windex bottles
Just to keep perception from clouding my lyrics

Because nobody wants to see eye to eye…

…

…cataract-laced speeches permeate tainted whispers
Of an innocent breath 
Simply
Searching
For B-rated serendipity

Oh, this was the 1st time
I felt out of place.

Turning away from windowed afflictions
Ready
To step towards gratitude’s breath

Outside,
No longer looking in

How good it feels.

Yet, I still miss my friends.

©Drake J. Eszes 


Details | Free verse | |

Soul mates solace

When my final shadows cling on desperately
Where I fight formidable battles
to merely hold the light
I send you loving vibrations
and soul sustenance
Deep from the cathedral
of one heart to another
where today no choirs sing
nor symphonies play
Yet it is here where we meet
in spiritual solace
here to surrender 
and exchange inestimable treasures
recollecting memories 
like unopened letters
Galaxies are stretched
over chronicles of shared history
Nebula birthing stars
will be exposed
in forth-coming conversations
bringing short-lived fulfillment to you
Hungry to feast
now will be the time
to approve your blood art vision
and with my own haunting surrender
as dappled shades ink stain your chest
I will reside with you and share, mesmerised 
pens - by branding
as this will be your written reams to me
your artist's pallet or brushed canvas
no need for words
and yet creating
mysterious magical moments
Bitter-sweet the music
that dances taut guitar strings
but now blood approved
please go kick your heel up
return to your laughter
and ride on the breeze
for not all are lost
change not
for I am with you always
to love, listen and comfort as one
with you in me and I in you
as masterpiece


Details | Free verse | |

Mental Hospital Bills

dadgum doctors, heads up their butts poking, prodding, pricking skin neurologist a psychopath gets pleasure as electric volts pass through my body family doctor showed little concern made me paranoid about irregular heartbeat EKG failed to determine cause left me more in doubt than at ease dentist like a character from Dustin Hoffman’s “Marathon Man” the more pain inflicted the more he rejoiced deep root cleaning caused severe infection bloodwork done by Vampira clones labs filled with tubes and needles results not shared with me yet I footed the bill optometrist an Oriental who moved so fast didn’t care if the prescribed glasses worked boo on you, dang aristocrats waving your credentials nurses so slow to respond MRI promised on CD, but couldn’t be obtained just like the blood tests, needed a “report” doctors driving me insane each should share my mental hospital bills
*Based on ongoing health tests and written for PD’s contest. Assignment Free Verse, 25 lines, category slam, sad and educational, title: Mental Hospital Bills


Details | Free verse | |

A Practiced Sorrow

You’re dressed in gray, and
tattered like the clouds
that hover above you.

Frozen
with the look of a person
who knows of his own
approaching death.

Like the willow that cradles 
dawn's mist of unwept tears—
a practiced sorrow,
earned from decades of watching 
the slow meandering river,
as it draws closer, 
and the banks weather and fall.


Details | Free verse | |

FROZEN HEARTBEAT


Another impoverished evening veiled so raven- bleak; the sky droops for one more burning the soul must retain, as she clings among lost stars in a frozen heartbeat scanning minutes weighed on jagged sounds of tune's replay. No twilight melody to sway as criss- crossed byways fog the light of blind thoughts like peeled matte from a wind's squall spouting tears unto a past in need of relief. While in her chest rakes a heavy screech of a broken harp's requiem as hands dangle on strings immersing in the chill of mute pondering until fingers tweak her solemn journey into thin trails of unwanted rain. Just there...in a wisp of air's cadence the night shuts off. SKAT's Deep And Dark Contest


Details | Free verse | |

Only in a Different Life

Only in a Different Life

Looking through the window of a shop,
I see you with a woman.
She lifts long auburn hair
while you, who stand behind her,
are fastening a strand of pearls
around her slender neck.
I close my eyes envisioning. . .

I've opened them to you facing me,
and I'm the woman
with the red-brown locks!
You touch my cheek, and in your eyes
I read an urgent need.
You lead me to the door,
around the corner to an empty alley.
Our bodies press together.
In the chill of night,
I taste warm, wild kisses on my mouth.
"Darling, my darling," escapes my lips,
then suddenly my reverie is broken.

A passerby has stopped
to place a dollar in my cup.
Murmuring my thanks,
I gaze once more into the store where
diamond rings and necklaces glitter
like new snow beneath a winter moon.
The man whom I could know
only in a different life,
who stands inside the store
where I could never go,
takes his sweetheart's hand,
leads her past me
pretending not to see
a common homeless woman
who yearns for so much more
than mere necessities.

(One of my very first poems posted at Soup. All I can see are
congrats for being featured, so I don't believe it was ever in 
a contest!)


Details | Free verse | |

Genie in a Gin Bottle

Her lips caress another cigarette
A fading belle looking for love
The smoke veils a creature of habit
Chasing a young girls dream

But this Genie found the palace doors locked 
Her youth distilled into a bottle of gin
Diluted by these streets of sin

Now her makeup hides the bottles content
Silk fingernails deluding the smokers hand
Her wig of blonde hiding the soul beneath
The ladder in her stockings,
Torn like her Hollywood dreams

Her perfume sickly sweet,
Masking the odor from yesterday’s gin
The ashtray is full,
Cheap lipstick covers the tab ends
Her vigil to find happiness

But he never comes.
Only a stream of chancer’s 
Wanting to spin lady luck one more time
Fuelled by the promise of paradise
A vacation from life
And a brag for Jack Daniels

Under neon lights
A Beautiful girl content in her gin bottle
Her saviour from this cruel world
An inner voice plays in her mind
“I could have been a movie star”
A role she can play all too well

But morning light never lies
Her beauty, has fled, left on the pillow
Like some Monet’s impression.
Regret lays sprawled out
Like yesterday’s salad,
Thrown out with the rubbish
For the slugs of corruption to eat
.
Her aging face revealing every rejection
Every turned down script, every broken dream
A lifetime of heart break.
But she still plays her part well
Play it again Sam
And another cigarette,


The same mistake, the same men,
From all the gin bars in the world
She had to choose this one
Another lottery ticket to litter her despair.
No winning numbers here

Her silent acceptance speech,
Laid bare in her blood shot eyes of regret
A mouthwash of gin
And the genie of love returns to her bottle
Her legs bruised and varicose,
Testament to waitress by day and genie by night.

He closes the door
His only thought to get away, not his finest hour
Jack Daniels his moral escape goat
Nosey neighbour’s his jury
They bare witness to his walk of shame

She opens the curtains,
And sees him fade into the faceless crowd
Alone again, a full ashtray and an empty gin bottle
Symbols of last night’s play
The mirror torments her image,
As she drinks coffee through smoke stained teeth

A wave of her head, a smile
And a daydream
Tonight, her prince will save her
This is her delusion, her reason to live

But time is running out
For she is part of life’s crap game.
The dice rolls once more
Will it be happiness? or loneliness?
But in the end, deep down she knows
The house always wins in tinsel town.


Details | Free verse | |

Articulation of Tears

I sit beside you
listen while you bare your soul
this is a safe place
no judgement just ears
Heart fully engaged

No easy answers provided
That is not what you need
How did you keep this burden to yourself?
You must have been so lonely
As I look into your eyes, I feel the tears running down my face
Your breath rises and falls within me
we are forever joined
I see you

You are not alone


Details | Free verse | |

I got your message

65 minutes reduced to 120 seconds

Bright lit room
White glossy tone with flowery curtains
Upon window's darkened vision

Your radiance emanated in celebratory gesture
As my eyes fell in love
All over again

But your smiles were too bright to see me cry
Dry heaving sadness gasp

As I looked down...I became the great
Pretender

The smile pretender

You wore a dark blue blouse, w/body-fitting jeans
Tall, plus-size model stature
My walking fantasy

Dark brown locks of joy slow danced upon flesh that

I

No longer embraced

You had something to tell me
"I'm getting married to a man who called me, sexy.
We work together in the same building, so everybody knows."

Spanish music behind the scenes
Your witty humor against song
Crackin' my smile within sadness pores

Showing me blank invitations
As I leaned in, inhaling this broken emptiness
Writing out words with her voice
My gentle grin, the eraser

Tears in Cold War mode

Heart enunciating disconnection bliss

"This wasn't how I wanted to see you again"

As satin comforter tries to soften my falling
Falling...into true love's innocence

The same comforter that covered those tracks
Asphalt scarred remnants from the bus you threw me under

"I always wanted you to wake me from my sleep
But not like this"

You became my dream, come true
Becoming dream again
In 120 seconds

...

He may have called you "sexy" with words
But I called you "beautiful" with heart

Yet you will never value how deep it was

Well, at least you can rest assured
That I got your message

© Drake J. Eszes
"True love never dies...even if the recipient never reciprocates." –D.J.E.


Details | Free verse | |

YOU

YOU

Your 
Uncaring eyes
Push me 
Repulsively 
Braise me down to a pit of abysmal. 
Your balance ego 
Keeps me on the void
Tainting my walls
While I, 
Twitch
Bitter 
Words 
Of yuck
Behind your back.

~SKAT~


Details | Free verse | |

Crying In Whisper

In my country,
Seeing smoky sky
Is nothing,
But Killing kids kills
Me everyday, every minute
Every second,
No matter with
Thundering bullets
Or lightening rockets;
It is being our daily habit
No more choices:
To die or but to die
Silently without even a whispered Cry,
Or a small bit of a registered grave;
It is happening now just in my country!


Details | Free verse | |

Forgotten By Tomorrow

She stands at the edge of the precipice,
looking down towards her future.
The last tears that she will ever cry,
falling from her eyes, 
then falling into oblivion.
She watches them drop 
as they disappear forever.
Yet, she laughs in the face of death.
Would it really matter if she took the leap?
She has been forgotten by tomorrow.

The wind blowing at her back,
pushes her to the edge.
Almost agreeing with her final decision,
and encouraging her to jump.

A thousand thoughts and memories
racing through her mind.

Her first day of school.
Her tenth birthday party.
The lonely, awkward days of her teenage years.
The day she discovered poetry.
The moment she first saw him.
The day she thought that she was worth something.
The day when all of that became a lie.

Every memory 
that never made the pages of a history book.
She has been forgotten by tomorrow.

She exists to no one but herself.
In the blink of an eye, she decides her fate.
Her feet leave the ground,
and yet, she did not fall.
Out of nowhere he appeared,
and carefully grabbed her hand.
Pulling her back to reality,
saving her from the brink of disaster.
He held her, as her tears stained his jacket.
Old tears of sadness,
mixed with new tears of happiness.

She was remembered by yesterday.
Before she was forgotten by tomorrow.


Details | Free verse | |

The View

        THE VIEW 
(A sad point of view)

I can't believe he has to be a poet
To tell you how he feels
Maybe he does not know it
Words written on paper don't really heal
Do not tell her you are sorry
When your apology is not real

To be or not to be?
That is the question you should really ask.

The man should never call himself a poet
Unless he has lived, learn, lost, and gained it all back

The man who writes good poetry
In my eyes is a man of art
He can paint you anything without a paintbrush
This is the man I call no poet, with a colorful heart

Using all his manly skills
He is way ahead of the ordinary man
Leaving the imagination, filling the soul with chills
He is like the woman who leaves you all aroused

(A sad point of view.)

While the woman swims in her own drown.
She finds herself helpless to suffering worlds.
Without a man she thinks she is lost, nowhere to be found.

The secret of the female is
When she is heart broken
She thinks life is over 
Little at the time she knows
Once a woman feels
She gets right back up to be a lady
When the time calls
The lady is stronger than ever

One thing I learned about a lady 
You better respect her
Don't destroy her better days
She will crumble you up for sure
If the lady says she is a poet 
Than a poet in her

I will never insult a lady
She will crush you where it hurts 
A real lady knows how to control her man
A lady knows how to keep her emotional words real

But the woman needs to grow 
Stop trying to be something she's not
In time she will know
To give it her best shot
I will praise myself and say
"Woman always come and go."
A poet, she can act and play
With fake words that have no flow
  
This is my demo to all poetry freaks
Keep it real!!

by:PD


Details | Free verse | |

Time Out

Make no haste,
your work is restless.

Aeon give me pause--
no more ticking
gears grinding
ever towards the
lonely end.

Live the now.
Even Death took
a holiday,
veering briefly from an
eternity of reaping
solitude.

Take your time
on earth and
mingle--
overindulge in
reverie.
Rest assured,
oblivion can
wait.


Details | Free verse | |

Sweet Suburbia

Driving down the street,
sweet suburbia exhales,
scents of butter pecans
and apple blossoms penetrate the wind,
but secrets hide behind this serene atmosphere.

Momma's passed out on the couch,
Jack's become her best friend.
She has numbed out the pain around her,
rejects the truth.

Bobby loves his gun,
he knows how to make it all come to an end.
One day he'll have the courage,
and take everyone else with him.

Suzy hides in her closet,
she doesn't want daddy to find her,
have his ways like he does.
She just wants to fade away and die.

Papa's working late,
thinking of his sweet desert,
no one knows the world he creates,
while he pushes reality away.

Mittens sits in the windowsill,
watches the strangers pass by,
his tail twitching back and forth,
the only thing that knows the truth behind the doors.

While the house silently cries,
the world will still drive by.
Smell the sweetness in the wind,
be hypnotized,
by a sweet suburban lie.


Details | Free verse | |

Again, and again

The doubt and anger are here again
No surprise, my new friend
Believed I could keep it all away
Now it’s about to steal me away
Come steal me away. Again, and again

Why can’t I change the parts I hate? Stupid, lying beautiful face

Hearts are craters, deep as wells
Fill them up and hold on well
Sand and mud, the liquid seeps
Dirty tears and sorrows creep
Creep in to swallow me. Again, and again

Why can’t I change the parts I hate? Stupid, lying beautiful face

Told you, I told you. Remember I did?
This time it was raw, nothing I hid
Unacceptable loathing and regret
Nothing to explain, at least not yet
You will see though. Again, and again

Why can’t I change the parts I hate? Stupid, lying beautiful face

Consuming distraction, love that I know
It’s dying already with no place to go
You won’t agree and you won’t see
It will never be enough for me
You will hate me so. Again, and again

Why can’t I change the parts that I hate? Stupid, lying beautiful face

Let me go, for I am already gone
I’m sorry to make you believe this long
Hopeless rage, directed at you
Walls constructed to block the view
But you will still want me. Again, and again.

I can’t change the parts I hate, and I’ll never be happy again. Again


Details | Free verse | |

Anxious Dissolution

IV

A soul was broken to make room
For dusty halls and labyrinths.
A gossamer, nylon bed-sheet shroud
Enwraps the remnants of that mind.
And no excuses can be made; 
This disease does not justify that one.
I do not sleep deeply, I do not wake easily,
I dream of cities built on sand,
Next to the swelling sea.
Oh, they should have lasted.
Why should they fall?
I dream of timber horses,
Brought between those city walls.
We should have known; we should have known better.

III

But, I am not an honest mystic;
Beware what you ask of me.
I will show truths within the liar's tapestry.
But, you will not believe; no, you cannot believe.

II

I howled for my motherland
When the mutiny began.
I heard the cry of treason; heard the cry and ran.
I saw blood be spilled,
Some of it my own, then
Felt the rest boil, that this could happen in my home.
I saw the battle through, until the very end,
Then wished the traitors pardoned,
Because they were my friends.

I

I cannot tell the difference
Between the sleeping and the dead,
So, I will dole out blankets, and keep the kettle on.
The streets are cracked and dirty,
And they all appear the same:
Shattered glass and roofing tacks
Where I place my bare and weary feet.
I don't want to go on.
But, I must rebuild; I must rebuild.
I have no grass to lay,
The trees and flowers will not grow,
So, I shall use nothing, but mortar, brick, and stone.
It's not the same; it is not the same,
But, I shall call it home.


Details | Free verse | |

The Red Babushka

Nineteen twenty-four and the wind was cold,
When men in uniform entered our town;
Forced us to leave in their boxcars,
Made us believe that it was for our own safety.

With no time to fix our things
We hurriedly got in the box.
And when everyone was in,
The doors were locked.

The place was hell
For not even a whisper of wind 
Could enter the place,
Nor could a light shine through its walls.

Our eyes were dry and lips cracked
Plead for just a single drop;
As four nights and days we travelled
Inside the cars with no food or water.

The box unimaginable in its very state,
For dung and human liquid fragranced the place.
Weak-hearted both young and old struggled to live
Even the strong wished not to survive.

And on the fourth day, the box went to a halt!
Survivors were singing songs to God;
“Please end this tormented journey,
And deliver us home safely.”
Light shone as the heavy doors were opened!
We dropped to our knees
Hoping the place was Paradise
But Paradise was it not for we were in Hell. 

Ironically, the gate held words
Like that as ‘Beware of the Dog.’
Written in frostbitten wood saying:
“ARBEIT MACHT FREI.”

My mind was puzzled upon seeing those,
How could labor set you free,
When labor here meant
Dying in force and agony.

Schnell! 
Jew, work or die!
Schnell!
Jew, never complain and lie!

Those were the words 
That became music in our ears,
As we bent our bones
Working for freedom that is bound.

Schnell!
Jew, form your lines!
Schnell!
Jew, the choosing has come!

And in this place we call Hell,
An Angel waits for preys.
Not to feed to its cherubim
But to the ovens decay.

Schnell!
Jew, old and sick!
Schnell!
Jew, to the ovens burn!

As the sun paints the sky red,
A gray smoke danced with the setting clouds,
And in the heavens, the old and sick smile
Grateful to be forever free from the Angel.

On and on, the days passed by
Not faster but years it seem.
Millions were killed by the monsters of time,
Feeding them to the hungry gas ovens.

Then one even night,
I dreamt of food, of home,
Of freedom and safety
And a voice calling me to follow.

I had no choice but to obey,
For in that moment I was already tired,
Sick and losing hope that once was mine
But seem to be forever lost. 

On the 16th of March,
I lied still in my shelf.
I slept forever smiling,
With my red babushka in hand.

But disappointed and angry was I
To share the very day of my death
To the birth of the Malach-ha-mavis:
The Angel of Death.


Details | Free verse | |

The Storm

A cold wind blows,
turning hardened walls to sand.
Breaking down the barriers
exposing the emotions that were held inside.

The pain builds,
from hurts buried deep within.
Storm clouds roll in
dark, cold, and threatening.

Thunder rumbles,
roars across the darkened land.
A voice breaking the spirit:
Stupid
Ugly
Hated
Harlot
Die...
the words echo through the ears.

Lightning flashes,
shattering the very heavens.
Words drift through the mind:
Unwanted
Nothing
No-one
Useless
Alone...
casting shadows of doubt through the soul.

The tears fall from the eyes,
from a heart broken and battered.
Rain pours down from above
overflowing, unable to be contained.

Then finally as the rage is spent,
a calm stillness overtakes the cleansed world.
In the arms of a friend
peace is found once again.

And a voice whispers to the night:
"I'm alright..."


Details | Free verse | |

Eternity in a Moment

There is a melancholy in the air
And an emptiness deep inside
A flux of emotions overwhelm me
Rushing in like a rising tide

The sun scintillates the breaking waves
Creating diamonds upon every swell
Each one is reminiscent
Of the eyes that said farewell

Bright and glorious for just a moment
Then fading as quickly as it came
A wondrous gift, although brief
Has outlived it’s moment of fame

Yet a fingertip beneath the surface
Can create a false illusion
So at the waters edge
Our love has no conclusion

I wish that I could stay forever
Just outside of reality
Avoiding the obvious truth
And all it’s brutality

But alas, I shall not grieve
For that which cannot be
Instead I am very grateful
For that moment you gave to me

The memory of your magnificence
Is etched within my mind
You may disappear from my sight
But within my heart you are confined


Details | Free verse | |

The Journey of a Tear

It often trickles slowly, timid and shy
From the inner eyelid of a song
Or down the cheek of a distant mountain
A sunset rising beyond the hill, or moonlight on the window sill
A rose in bloom…a drop of dew…so tiny, sweet and beautiful
It fills a cup with voiceless wonder, and deep affection
It languishes softly…with wild abandonment
And will not be tamed 

But, another kind is rooted deep
Buried where the light can’t reach
The anguish of the world falls on it’s cheek
It dwells beside the hopeless shore
Till the waves crash too loudly to be ignored
The first single tear drifts down the walls
Into the shadowy tide of a river, longing
Bleeding old wounds, through all the old hurts
Looking for a place to hide
The sky above the earth will darken
Behind a leaden, lumpy cloud bank
Now the day has puckered up a bottom lip
Round spattering tears are warm
Prelude to the storm
The day will weep
Until it falls asleep





.....................
For the One Silver Tear Contest: 7/26/12


Details | Free verse | |

Dear Diary (Dying)

Maybe this can't be saved.

One more short year and I'll never see her again. I'll always be wondering about 
her but it's better left that way. Never been able to face the truth. Even now.

We were all each other needed, some childish indestructable duo of sorts. All 
gone.

Sometimes it's my fault. I've been a cliche since prom night when she came over 
and apologised and suddenly she was perfection. After that I hardly spoke 
around her in case I stuttered or worse, couldn't make her laugh. Was I in love? If 
I was I still am. This intolerable inferiority complex, this petrified fear of not being 
good enough feels all too familiar.

Don't think there was one moment when it all happened, but now I find myself 
smiling arduously in black armour; all that she made me once again 
undermined. I called her my mermaid; sunny skin, the beach in her hair and eyes 
shining with all the colours and tempers of the ocean.

Now she's hacked away every detail of her. Barely recognisable, even to the one 
who used to know her best.

There's a girl I still know, dancing through my memories, but already clinging to 
herself, desperate to remain. She knows she can't stay forever.

We're not the people we were; this can never work.

Today I'm hiding behind a calm and carefree front; she can never know, nor 
understand why. I'm blocking her out.
Out of sight, out of mind
No explanation. We were dying anyway.
But if she asks why I can't see her anymore
How can I even look her in the face?
If that's selfish then at last it's my turn.

I miss her even when we're locked in embrace. Affection is genuine. All else is 
lost. She can't save us, can't put in the effort. I've tried but I'm weak. Another 
excuse to take cover under.

I can't change her back. Why am I trying? I should just make the most of my 
precious friend now.

A little more of her slips away every day.


Details | Free verse | |

embattled

Pain covered by beauty,
Standing behind a mirror of myself, 
Cut deeply by the shattering pieces as my true self emerges.
Behold the truth that lies behind my placid eyes,
The heart wrenching pain hidden by my laugh,
I am what this world has made me to be,
Cruel, Angry, Torn.
Seeking answers in my mind,
I feel there is no tangible hope.
I cannot grasp what i have never trully believed to be there.
I can only sit and wait for the inevitable,
I can only sit and wait with no one but my shadow beside me,
Daunting me,
Reminding me how dark this world can be.
Embittered at what my once joyful life has turned into,
A blaze of hate and sorrow consumes me entirely, 
Until I am forced to relinquish the pain and tears built up inside me.
At that moment I am rendered helpless,
I open my eyes only to find myself embattled.
These enimies of mine are not human but the result of what they have caused.


Details | Free verse | |

HESITATING HIS CALL



The hint of his scent invited me to enter a forbidden door, running male fingers along the fabric of my back…silhouettes melt on the wall; jealous stars drift afar as moonlight trails along with heaving sighs. And my cheery lips heat beyond eyes smoldering in flickers of candles lit, just there, I wished the fire of breath had more power over my bare heart, but… I hesitated the call of his rugged charm, of his night tunes: violin melody on air crawling on my damp skin igniting the spice upon his neck; I quiver. And he pulls me away from an embrace, gazing low through curves of my bent limbs while in slow drift, I claim effort to regain a hurt esteem brushed off in a draining flow the tang of salt arrests, but... I hesitated the toss of hairs curled when I really meant ‘next time’. Regina Riddle's Rejection Contest by nette onclaud


Details | Free verse | |

Wondrous Kite

She walks away.

Girlish and glorious
laughter
floats
through air
like a kite on a string
that pulls
tautly slipping through tightened fingers,
burning a little,
and slicing through 
if ever left unattended,

so preciously tensioned
against the cold
benumbing
wind. 

Tears begin to flow
but I do not know . . .
my heart?
or the wind?
If my heart, then am I sad
to be here on the ground
or joyful
to be watching the kite
fly? 

In answer, a quivering.

A wisp.

"She will not fall or float away while I hold her thus. 
She will be beautiful for me."

Wondrous.


Details | Free verse | |

My Left Breast

strange it was there just the other day 
hanging about as usual, 
reminding me in my mirrored image 
of my definite femininity 
now gone, am I less of a woman? 
will you look at me differently, 
or strangely as I do myself? 

I never really gave it much thought before 
of how things come in pairs 
how lonely one would be without the other 
how misshaped one appears, 
no longer jutting forward, 
proclaiming sensuality 
thrusting into the limelight, 

now scars and a flattened ego, 
fill my robe, bras useless without stuffing 
men, look at me in horror, 
women in shock and pity 
and with gratitude, yes that it is not them 
my left breast is missing 
no not missing, taken, stolen...

it was just a lump a few weeks ago 
a tiny pea shaped knob, 
that hid its cancerous intentions
so very well, yet lay in silence waiting 
to steal away that part of me
that defined who I was 
what purpose I served in society 

am I still a woman, a sexual being? 
I'm not sure, my right breast thinks so 
but yearns for its mate, 
the image in the mirror just doesn't seem right 
unequal in its proportions, glaringly lopsided
my left breast is gone, surgically removed  
I can still hear its scream


Details | Free verse | |

The Day That Died Forever

When I am Colder,Older and then alone...
I will collect the sky on my own...
When the art has faded and the days then fade-
when everyone has gone away...

I may finally see what never was saw
.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh............... the quiet sky

The unlit room which bares my end...shows the flashes of my pains my joys and sins.
This life has been a strange one since the curtains were drawn
These paper and plastic figures have clouded the dawn

I was once younger,foolish,and obsessed with truth
Now I am bitter,sour,dour faced with my heart under shoe

The children were all searching or lost in a crowd
All weeds in a garden...growing vile and foul

Though beauty was sold it never came true
Obsessions and vanity have traveled safe through

Materials and poison and everything lost
have been burned in the fires or lost in the frost

I stand face to mirror tearing my being apart
Winding thoughts of love,pain,god,and art

As the sun sets and the darkness grows
I too shall follow this pattern in tow

Death has a friendly hand and a pretty face
She has given me comfort as I leave this place

The wars have occurred,humanity's lost
Souls have been burnt in the fire or lost in the frost

Day was Life,Night is Death

And the latter has given counsel on my final steps


Details | Free verse | |

Baking Chocolate

For shame I write again
And indulge your memory 
Doting on you baselessly,
As though you’re a man
For shame, I have no remedy

Because as a child, I could never know
And as I am, you couldn't trust my word
That I know you and I know hardship
Because while there was always milk for me
You are have always been
 baking chocolate

And though I didn't know how unpleasant it would be
I faithfully escorted that dry dust to my mouth
Because you already owned me, 
and my passion was arcane
I forfeited to you
To become fortitude, your stronghold
I gladly wed the night; I gladly wed your savagery
Soliloquies decorating the shrine in my heart
For you, my one good thing 

I have no capacity to abandon
And I don’t know how to love conservatively 
And as easy as spitting you out could be
I let you fester, 
I let you make a home in me 

But even now, I can still taste you in my mouth, 
Where years should’ve made you disappear
 And you’re nauseating
You’re the bitter product of bitter chocolate
I’m older now
 and my youth won’t erase you
Nor passing moments, nor justified rage
 And my heart is empty plastic
In my own hands
And  you marauded me

I hate you more than there are words for
My resilience has long melted away
Yet you always have a hand on me
And I can’t make you leave

Eternal sunshine’s burning me
My lips remember, my lips grieve

For shame,  I can’t forget you…


Details | Free verse | |

the PoEt and THEE GREATEST POEM NEVER SPOKE

WAIT!

the poet laughed
there's love to document
there's passion, there's hate!

WAIT!

where's my pen, my typer? 
my life is my art

Living passed by and the world did it's thing, rotating, tilting, and changing
but the poet sat idle, conjuring thought 
he dreamt aloud, awake 
of simple times
he drank
he smoked, lied, and bargained
yet never put into motion 
what realities he should have, could have sought 
funny how it happens for the poet
poetically tragic, this nothing whatsoever 


WAIT!

cried the overweight, medicated poet
cornered by walls of his own brain
such a creative mind wasting away
a mind with fingers
no friends, and without eyes

the Poet scurried, smelling rain one day
so he looked to the window and wrote "Thee Greatest Poem Never Spoke"
trees gave leaves to fall and winter gave way to crawl 
then blew it's load
the poet spoke again,

WAIT!

these beauteous seasons are the very reason my pen leaks prolific ink of lines so great
then spring sprung 
bells rang and flings flung
but the poet failed to dare to love
women and children and angels passed his tearful face
and he gasped

WAIT!

I must write and express and show this amazing grace
 
sadly summer came and went again
upon it's glorious exodus the poet wrote and wrote
more and more of stars he never saw 
and of rain his skin failed to feel
and of things he could only imagine
tears of everything doused the poet's pale cheek and he ate the pain which enveloped him
dim lights appeared as a nightmare 
and finally one bright light of tunnel vision sizzled his name 
the name he'd long since forgotten
just like everyone else

wait...the poet whimpered
wait... 

tho' fate 
would not,
could not,
WAIT.


Details | Free verse | |

Winter

i peer
through lacy curtains
that night has sewn
upon my window

at footsteps
that lead to you

the stars weave themselves
between the clouds
of winter's loom

a cold wind howls
beneath the unseen moon

a mother's lullaby

i feel the hands of time
 gently tap
from the edge of night
and sanity

i sit alone
beneath the shadows
and watch
as my footsteps
fade to white


Details | Free verse | |

THE HILL

On a bright sunlit morning, washed brilliant with clover,
the day was alive with complacency, as color.
The day had no reason to quiver off course.
A cat in a tree, was stalking a bird,
and people were rising, to go off to work.
No one was thinking of nuclear things.

Below, in the trenches, a watchman has wandered,
checking a gage, or turning a page, of a manual's cover. 
He scratches his head, and ponders a problem,
wondering how numbers could be out of order?

His heart rate goes up, his blood pressure rises.
He is wise enough, adding up, and soon he's alarmed!
He sets off the buzzers, but knows much too late,
the tremor he felt, was not of his own.
But instead, is the syndrome, we've always ignored,
That something horrendous.........Oh, my God, what will come,
of the innocent families who live in the zone?

People arising, beginning their day
who scurry their children, in a rush off to school.
and husbands who carry a lunch in their pail, 
punching a time clock, to work at the mill.

Just an ordinary day, in the lives of the men,
women, and children who live 'neath the hill. 
"The Hill", that will bring them the end of the world.

Living their lives, on a tightrope so thin,
daylight begins, but how will it end?
A tremble so mild, invisible wave,
has seeped from the waste, with a radiant hand,
to swollow landscape, and burn with the sun. 

As heart rates get higher, blood pressure rises,
the tremor we feel,  is now that of our own.
Oh, my God, what becomes
of the innocent targets who dwell in the zone,
men, woman, children......who live 'neath the hill?
"The Hill" that will bring them the end of their world.



___________________________________________
For Deb's Contest: Global Poetry (Nuclear Leak)
11/26/14


Details | Free verse | |

The Softness of a Country Rose for Mary Jo Hoose

A stranger lifted me up today
While I was lost in my own self-centered universe, 
Silently crying about nobody else reading, commenting or caring 
About anything I’ve said, 
Considering myself poetically dead.  

I’ve been more concerned with the encroaching materialistic  
Responsibilities, requirements and concerns of living 
Instead of turning my attentions outward towards others 
And lifting myself out of this whirl pool of self-pity 
Into the ocean of giving.    

When to my wondrous delight dark turned to light 
As out of seemingly nowhere a fellow poet spoke gently and composed: 
“Your poetry is like the softness of a country rose.”
And while I know not where she lives and breathes
This furtherance of feeling was shared with me:
“I too am blue as sky is gray and nothing more will do today
Except ethereal connections are how we poets play.”

I was more than moved, to say the least
How this gypsy out of cyber space 
Renewed my poetic vow:
To speak the truth simple, plain and clear 
As I know how.  
And how 
My words and hers connected 
Through the vacuum of space and time 
Is a story for another day and rhyme. 

Until then, I stand transformed  
By those few words she engendered – 
And would give anything to tell her   
How sweet and kind her words were rendered.          


Details | Free verse | |

Insomnia

I close my eyes
Orbits sunk deep within 
Scowering the cesspool of dream fragments. 

I lay cool against the flat sheet
Waiting patiently for deep sleep to cast all 
dream fragments from memory. 


Details | Free verse | |

Hands

The trees are still there every morning
Angry or sad
The sun beats down through your pores
Day after day after day.
And the moon will never stop.
And the spirit to which God has granted you
Walks with you
Penniless or pocketless.
"Something was dropped along the way,"
You feel.
"Well it's true we shed ourselves over the years,
Pieces of ourselves everywhere," 
says the sliding Voice.
Identity is really only something 
We think other people need.

So we pretend like we're separate from each other.

The word "firelight," is evocative.
The bloom of spirit and desire and
The ever-crackling of wild entanglement

Our lives like firelight
On the darkened beach
from the young and warm light
to the blazing chaos and wonder
to the toking and smoting and dimming
And the burial, and the cold.

I am as sad as the bottom of a well.
I have left something along the way.
A small appendage, maybe, I had meant to use at some point.
The Right Hand of God I was too distracted to keep hold of.

I am all other centerless beings
Dropping things here and there
A pen. A thought. A conviction.

And to keep hold,
to press on staring redemptively
At the circling Hands 
To live in this way is to gain wisdom
And with wisdom there is always
the healing of sadness. 
Senseless though, I know, like all else
And the evering was and the here we sit

Our eyes blinking tears from the bottom of a well.
Tearing from our core for
The love and need for others 
And their hands.


Details | Free verse | |

Struggle

Primal, basal, beyond my awareness
How could I have been so careless
I let the line between real and fantasy
Become clouded through my jealousy
The fire rose, consumed, burned away
And left the ashes in its wake
I still search for just one burning ember
To reawaken feelings of forever
But destruction is all around
I fall to my knees, hit the ground

Can you hear me scream?

Blatant, cold, and calculating
Every part of this wrapped up in hating
The one who did this thing to me
Imprisoned when I was set free
The water rises, to wash away
All the promises we once made
If still one ember ever burned
It burns no more, lesson learned
Still destruction is all around
And I can’t lift myself from off the ground

Can you see me cry?

Detached, impartial, contemplating
Why am I here, why am I waiting
Just what am I waiting for
A broken window, an open door
A key to tell me who I am
So I can learn to live again
Without the fear, without regret
To bring back balance and pay the debt
To clear debris from hallowed ground
Unchained, but broken, I am bound

Can you feel my battle?


Details | Free verse | |

The Royal Curse

It afflicts king and queen alike.
Brought to the castle 
by the master of infildelity.
He moves smoothly from one to the other.
He swiftly takes them 
as is his right, he believes.
Only to have his fill
from the fair maiden 
to the sullied trollop.
He sees them all equally
in his adventures.
He spreads his curse
from one to the other.
It robs it's victims
of their eyes and senses.
Over the years, it slowly degrades
their intelligence and lives.
It can bring down the greatest Empires
if given enough time.


Details | Free verse | |

Betting on Nothing

By committing to nothing, one retains infinite options.
I have hid inside these words for moons and seasons and New Year’s toasts.
The lone wolf roams fertile pastures unfettered.
The thrill of the hunt.
The chase.
An empty bed is the hope of a new body’s sleeping curve.
Tomorrow becomes yesterday.
“The mystery of mysteries is the gateway to marvels.”
I stopped looking long ago.

The faces have blurred into a montage of emptiness.
Come and go; came and went.
I never bothered much to be bothered.
There aren’t many memories
And I am thankful for that.
Wet fingers and licked lips’
Blood on my hands.
Wasted time.
The years run on like a favorite sitcom gone bad.
It all should have been retired years ago.

It is easier to stay afloat and roam the big waters alone
Than set up camp on an island and face a face.
No problems.
No worries.
No connection.
Freedom is all that you cannot commit to
And who surrenders to nothing is he who lives in frigid shadows of fear.
Maybe I have never truly known warmth.

I walk the streets like a war-worn shoulder.
A little cold, a little distant, a little too silent.
The words I have are recycled fragments of someone else’s life.
I don’t offer much.
Poker face.
Can you read my concrete stare?
I have an entire universe hiding in my back pocket
But I’m scared to show you.
It’s been so long since I groped or even fondled my own life.
I’m not sure what I do or don’t have to offer.
I just keep making bets and upping the ante.


Details | Free verse | |

THE OVERINDULGER

Upon testing the waters they spring to life,
Always over indulging,
Never being able to say no,
In complete denial about the situation.

With a captive audience they perform for all,
Extracting laughter,
Arousing amusement,
While some find their performance appauling.

But still they continue to entertain all,
With some "funny talk,"
And a "funny walk,"
Their vision is blurred, so they can't see.

That people are really laughing "at" them,
For lack of talent,
And not knowing it,
Honestly speaking, you feel bad for them.

When gently told to sit this one out,
They're livid, or
Blind to the fact,
That they're embarassing, themselves, and others.

On the other hand, When they're not drinking,
They're different,
More recognizeable,
They're people we all know and love,.

Feelings of guilt and embarassment surface,
The next morning,
I know,
For I've just given a vivid description of me...


Details | Free verse | |

How I Danced!

The night is cold, awaiting the early light of dawn
My body shivers, my feet like ice, I long for sleep but it does not come 
Like so many lonely hours in the darkness
The ache of my bones so cruel and relentless

Tears on my pillow, I once again slip from the warm covers
Leaving the placid breath beside me, never knowing I’ve gone
I would give so much to have the peace of slumber
The chance to dream of an earlier life, one that is gone now

Where I danced with the clouds on a warm spring day
Ran in the woods chasing butterflies or a humming bird 
The gentle breeze brushing against my skin
My soul free to be who I am, without the pain of this withering shell

Some nights I long for an end to this misery
Life has dealt such a difficult challenge
But more often, I sit in the dim light of the morning
Remembering my youth and the freedom that it gave

How I laughed in its face, knowing I would always be young
That I would always be ready to take on the world unencumbered
How naïve…and how unappreciative of the wonders of my youthful body
Pushing the limits of this fragile home to my soul, never fearing an end to my 
flight

But the dawn comes, and I bravely go on to face another day
Determined to make it the best possible
Although this life, even with it’s wicked edge, so unexpected
Arrived before I was ready to give up my wonderful dance of freedom

I rub my twisted joints, warming them near the fire
Knowing that, even through the pain there is hope
For my mind is sharp, my wit is clever 
And I may yet find joys in the brightness and warmth of this new sun

For I can still hear the birds sing their happy tunes
Watch the grandchildren’s innocent play, their melodic giggles of joy
And remember how it was not so long ago…
And how I danced! 


Details | Free verse | |

Overwhelmed

Caught up in this circle sphere of integration; I swoon 
as the feeling of worthlessness overwhelms me. 
Nothing seems to remedy as this depression lulls me 
into its claws of wretchedness.
 Sweet and salty smiles that slink into your mind 
seems to melt the drowning feeling of despondency.  
Still there is the burning bubbling vibes of insanity that circumvents any relief.


Details | Free verse | |

Do You Hear Me?

do you hear me
when I cry out
in the middle of the night?
do you hear me
when I grieve for
a brilliant light gone out?
do you feel me
when I long for your love
though your heart has gone still?
do you see me
kneeling by your grave
unable to pray?
do you still believe in me
where ever you've gone
and I'm here alone?
do you see me
gasping for breathe
since the moment you left?


Details | Free verse | |

The Frog And The Fairy Princess - Part - 1 - A Collaboration

I hope Inside this sorrow
It will give me strength to Love
Dark jewels In my weakness
Through rainbow colour mist galling dewdrops
Wishing a thousand miles away dreaming

In the sorrow of a grieving heart
Beaten down with sorrow and despair
Darkness dispells the light of my Love
The Angels' tears fall with my own sorrows' river flows
The grief of Love destroys before life's sun

In the valley howling winds
Lifting waves crashing Inside
Ocean coils spreading ashore
Landing upon the golden distant sands
Of never ending joy of paradise 

In memories veil we swim within chasms of light
Love abounded no ripples In Souls' ocean
Heavens' fields of blue sprayed with golden Joy
We Loved In fields' of Gods' flaming glory
In grief bring back Love filled days and nights

A little frog sitting on his lily leaf sad
Rubbing his googly eyes with little webbed fingers
Wishing his Princess begging deeply kiss away
His deep loneliness holding Love a special dream

Now In her anguish fairy princess on her knees does beg
Love shall return to rust laden heart
Time now to search for Loves' Rose memories
Weep not my Love spell broken by Loves' sweet kiss
I come by rainbow bridge


A Collaboration by Liam Mc'daid and Michael Clarke.


Details | Free verse | |

Indifferent

My pen, once again, drawn to the paper
In words, I find little relief, allowing no reprieve for myself
What shall be yielded?
Everything, yet nothing
You; me
Everyone, yet nobody
All being exists only in my words to me

I watch as the ink dissipates from my pen 
I reach for a second pen certain peace will rise from the blank paper 
Like a Phoenix from a great flame
Exhausting it is

What might my agenda be, you ask
It is peace I seek alone 
I find myself in unknown territory
As a glimpse of truth passes me, although it be slight 

Once again, here I sit 
My only friend? Words.
I search for peace
Yet, I find nothing but self loathing
Searching for everything; finding nothing 
Finding myself, while losing myself

The end is familiar 
No honesty
No happiness 
Barren of peace 
Merely indifferent


Details | Free verse | |

You Can't Hurt Me

Resounding echoes awaken the child
demons in the attic beckon unto him
stark fear grips his Vick's laden chest
shivers vibrate rusty springs of down

footsteps creak closer upon loose floorboards
while steamed filled pipes play taps
a somber teddybear snarls
causing the world to be still

foolish nuns, God doesn't want to "get me"

the sting of a ruler splinters a left hand
blood spurts upon faces of laughter
evil little boy too wicked for a mother
affliction runs in the family

Florence became flop because she always fell
polio never whipped her ass
just abused her now and then
she healed with a smile

Even humility has its price

Jimmy Dean wore sunglasses
maybe his eyes were bloodshot
or maybe he was a child of an alcoholic
and they became part of his attire

degenerate eye disease, masturbation
spattering or battering
does it really matter when you can't see
or understand the difference between ADD and ADHD

Psych 101: Crack can be Prozac

Iron gates surround a new residence
protecting the innocent who peer from outside
rehabilitation means refining bad habits
like those on the outside who have mastered them

twelve years of bars and games people play
provide an education unto itself
seclusion can be the deciding factor
between murder or suicide

self righteous judges choose life

recidivism is a revolving door
of vicious cycles with no engines
only propellers called co-dependants
or co-defendants, take your pick

life repeats itself over and over
only the circumstances change
yet the merry-go-round stops
when the flowers are arranged

Why are most tombstones gray

scared, afraid to die
are you saved?
from what, ourselves
you can't hurt me

Bob Shank-Nov. 30th, 2006


Details | Free verse | |

I have lost my P

                      I`m not ha_ _y  today.
                      No I`m quite sad and u_set

                     Sitting here with my cold sou_ and an old s_oon.
                     I have s_ent too much money,and feel  _oor.
                     I have not _earls or diamonds,that`s not why I`m sad and u_set.
                     As I sit here with my su_ _ er and my cold sou_,
                     thinking about what I do without my  _?
             
                     Dreams returns to ha_ _y days, when I  _layed  _iano
                     and had  _eace in my mind.
                     What shall I do without my  _ ?
                     _  is  im_ortant in my life.
                     I`ve lost my  _,I can no longer wish to you:Ha_ _y  birthday
                                                                                Have a ha_ _y  weekend
                                                                                Ha_ _ y  for you.
                                                                                Ha_ _ y  to see you
                                                                                Ha _ _y   new year ..........


                      I do not want _iano,_earl or diamonds.... I want my  _  back.




      05.01.2012
      A-L Andresen :)


Details | Free verse | |

The missing me

With shadows in the dark,
Facing atrocities of the cold,
Yet drenched in the sweat,
I walk down the street

Am bound to follow what others passed by,
Crime it is as if else I try,
Tears follow the path of my cheek,
And it’s the only way my eyes speak,
Lips of mine when turn dry.

I smile I really try to,
To be happy as if I was made to,
I speak of something I don’t know
But there’s what my heart knows,
That’s what my eyes ponder,
And that’s what untold but true,
Yes I know,
Yes I do,
I am missing me in me,
Yes I know,
Yes I do,
I am missing being me……….


Details | Free verse | |

I fell in like with you

Inspired by one of my favorite bands, Rise Against, and the song is called,
“Ever-changing” (Acoustic). Please listen to this song if you don’t know of it. It’s raw &
powerful.

“Have you ever been a part of something? That you thought would never end. But then, of
course, it did.” –Rise Against

“I fell in ‘Like’ with you”

With her smile
I melted unto oblivion’s redemption
Candy coated perceptions, windows’ gap
Seeping brilliance refreshment

Uncertainty resolution, polished
Absorbed into closeness sun
Yet these eyes still…see
Butterflies taking notice, missing you…as you stood in front of me

Strong, yet soft legs
Foundation of my face to rest upon
Scars…fading
A cremated sin 

Yet, elongated moments of silence
Created abruption’s new face

The face of change
When she turned to me and said
“I’m not sure, anymore”

Emotional lullaby, rocking me to sleep
New battles with spectral flashback
Trying to get under my skin, a drunken tick facing demise

Phoenix’s sunrise, rejuvenating my recycled defenses
Yet, today, these rays just aren’t bright enough to burn sadness away

And with these sounds of storm clouds & Fall on horizon’s breath
These grounds are so familiar, yet bittersweet
This heart doesn’t want to be enlightened by karma today

It wants to be held for how it shines now

Denied…distance wins again today
Slavery whipped punishments in miles and blocks
This must end

Because I try to keep lines open to get a call from you
Yet all I hear are booty calls with busy signals

And yet something has kept me here too long
But can they leave me, if I’m already gone?

Something has kept me here too long
Karma’s laughter

But, through it all, I will shine

…

How I wish my mere presence can bring joy’s tear to her eye

Sadly though, now, the lines are drawn
Yet I wonder if this feeling is gone
Have the best parts of this…come and gone?

…

Maybe I’ll never know the truth

Perhaps she was misguided by jealousy’s deprivation
Deteriorating heart’s splendor

While I fell in “like” with her

Perhaps “Better Man 2.0” appeared from Cloud 9’s fallacy

While I fell in “like” with her

Perhaps
She held onto the past

As I, drawn to waterfall’s edge
Allowed myself

To let go…and F
A
L
L

© Drake J. Eszes
“We adore those who hurt us. Yet, we hurt those who adore us.” -Anonymous


Details | Free verse | |

Soul Stones

We swallow boulders:
(lead words, molasses covered prejudice, glass shards of promises long broken)

Mouths open wide and heads tipped back
like Hawaiian fire eaters.

Chipped teeth are bits of porcelain history,
sliding down our throats in rivers of neglect
and acid.

The stones settle,

BOOM...

      BOOM...

            BOOM...

Our stomachs are filled up, anvil weight
'till we can hardly sit, hardly stand, or walk.

We drag our feet in pain, as the quiet indicator that
we've had rocks for breakfast,
lunch, dinner,  for years,
in the hopes that someone will recognize
the broken concrete footprints behind us
and touch us gently on the forearm:

"Honey, are you alright?"

(and isn't it the first sweet trickle of kind words that crumble
the already cracking facade?)

There's no stopping the torrent then,
tsunami tears and a heaving, convulsing
to the point of cathartic vomit-

boulders of every shape and size
tumbling out of our mouths and filling the room;
broken teeth and granite eyes 
until we no longer see the floor, the walls...

And then serenity.

The hand has moved to the shoulder,
forming a universal hug.

"I'm here now... and you're ok."

We stand up, together, and leave that room,
a soundless void of yesterday,
to absorb the impermeability of stones,
carrying our gait buoyant, without gravity.

No weight at all now, and barely a second glance,

but to turn out the light - and lock the door behind us...




Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Free verse | |

Moments In Time

The sweetest sounds of burning trees
A gentle stroking in the breeze
The calm has lasted past the storm
Cloudy visions, Satan’s roar
Too many sights have passed my way
A time found only in the haze
The softest screams are running bare
My aching bones creak as I stare

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark

The battle’s started at the end
No one is coming to repent
The sinners grab their wine from prey
No judgment calling here to stay
The sport is reckless to be told
The one is laughing at his souls
It falters nowhere to be sure
The power grows forevermore
Like a spirit in the wind
I have no say in where you’ve been 
But cross the line to come to me
And pay the price for ecstasy

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark. 


Details | Free verse | |

Things Fall Apart

Adamant mindsets
In a modern setup,
Vibrant visions evaporates
To emptiness, nothingness and waywardness.
Leaving the people in stark darkness,
Leading to nowhere,
As penury is declared "king",
Hunger succeeds the throne
As blind leaders  hardened the 
Economy like bone.
Giving peanuts to the peasants
But gold for the wealthy,
Oh! what a chess game in the midst
Of blind spectators.....
Mothers swaying in tattered rags,
Struggling with drying breasts which 
Produces the hopeful milk of the skinny infants...
Children strolling with empty plates
Searching for who to wet their throats.
Fathers planting courage and assurance,
Hoping the land will be milky someday,
Yet the center is not holding
For heads are plenty but the brains are few...
Therefore turning weakening hearts
To marauding crooks,
Victimizing themselves,
Staining their whites,
Be litling their lives,
Insulting their hands
Making the land stink,
While Africa bears the smell,
To the detriment of her virtue. 
Our agricultural and peaceful 
"green white green", they've turned to 
A dark and bloody "red black red".
Now who leads who in this
Criminal war front, corrupt justice
And indecisive generation?
Things fall apart when truth step aside,
Evil takes the lead when black minds
Score the goal...
Things fall apart when the people can't merge.


Details | Free verse | |

We Are The Generation

We are The Generation,
Holding tomorrow in the palm of our hands
Ancestors deemed us responsible
Yet Today only reprimands

We are The Generation, the majority
Of futile yearnings, beguiled by what
Only brings more shame…Beguiled by what
Only brings more shame

Embellished with the nudity we call fashion
Seeking the colors of the world in manicure
Beauty is now only material…
Attire, what a fine cure!

We are The Generation, we want to explore
The tastes of the world, in nicotine, in alcohol
It’s something we call fun!
Gossip, magazines… invaluable lore

We are articulate, we just love to curse
Between every couple of words, five oaths!
Our eligible vocabulary is written in scraps
In the fine poetry, we like to call rap

Love to us is very divine
My boyfriend and I have been together
For two months…eternity! We match, we intertwine
Our engagement is next week

Religion is to us an identity, a name
I am this and I am that
But we all squander our time just the same
We are one unity, remember?

We are The Generation, we are The Glory,
You know that magazine?
We hold the future in safe hands
We are The Generation… and more is yet to come


Details | Free verse | |

Broken England

Broken England
By Steven Cooke

My Brave ancestors of England,
Look away, for I offend thee.

For your England is no more.
Decay eats away at this fallen empire.
Your people divided,
Its laws weakened by Europe’s power.
Its leadership, protecting the few.
The fresh air of your Country gone,
Only the stench of anarchy remains
Heroes of The Somme look away for I offend thee.

Stock Market Parasites, take without producing
Corporations overwhelm, the weak,
Without paying their due.
Their off shore havens digest the life blood of this once great nation,
Leaving the scraps of minimum wage for the masses to beg. 
The dead of Pashendale look away for I offend thee.

Government legislate to keep us in bondage to 66
Over the hill at 50, to wonder the dole queues
Youth denied education, 
Universities at a price,
Qualifications for the chosen few,
Unemployment, for the poor.
Our brothers of Gallipoli look away for I offend thee.

Our Cities are in pain.
Hopeless lives, with hopeless dreams,
Hopeless choices, drugs, crime,
Or silence behind closed doors.
Babies born to fail,
Children, exposed to depression and chips.
The ghosts of Arnhem look away for I offend thee.

A voice in the darkness, shouts its rage
The iron curtain of youth descends on England
This is no Lennon revolution,
This is youth with no future, abandoned by government
No rules here to obey, No Civic pride,
 No sense of History, no Country to protect
The Saviours of Goose green look away for I offend thee

But fat cats beware, for there is a dream,
That cannot be bought.
A warning from history.
A country cannot go forward,
Without learning from the past.

Your greed will self destruct
Your Paradise a lie
For a Dangerous wind now blows,
And common sense, will fail.
For England is Broken,
And life will never be the same,
In England’s green and pleasant land.
Now It is my turn to look away, 
for you see this offends me too.



Details | Free verse | |

BIG HUG

                                        I`ve got a good friend
                                 one that is easy to understand
                                       and who understand me

                                    When the day is sad and fed
                                 my advice is: try and understand
                                   offer comfort and give a smile

                                      Tomorrow is another day
                                         what is sad and sorry
                                     gets a little easier tomorrow

                                       A friendship that has not
                                      obligations or expectations
                                      a friendship that has only
                                  warms thoughts and kind words

                                                A friend asks:
                                           How was your day?
                                             Are you all right?
                                      Sharing thoughts and ideas

                                           A friend who sleeps
                                               when I get up
                                        because I live east and
                                      he lives west on our globe

                                        Thank you for being my
                                                 friend Dan
                                          Today I will send you
                                                 a BIG hug.








didicated to Dan Kearley
04.03.2012
A-L Andresen


Details | Free verse | |

Bill


R.I.P. William Dale Eubanks
d. July 1, 2012, aged 68 yrs., Tennessee Ridge, Tennessee

Death came as no surprise
the first Sunday in July;
it claimed you, on a ridge in Tennessee,
with kin who took you in and waited with you
through the last hard days.
You kept what fears you had well hid,
did not betray with loud complaint
the fate you could not but know awaited.
A smile, a joke, a hug – exotic meals –
And genuine interest greeted all you met.
And you were, certainly, never boring
but well-traveled and smart
beyond the telling.
We’ll miss your wit, your bright demeanor,
and will remember all you freely gave ---
and what you took from us
with your passing.


Details | Free verse | |

The Old Man In The Mirror

The Old Man In The Mirror

Who is that old man who looks at me in the morning?
When I shave and shower he is there living in a pane of glass
Grey hairs replacing the dark walnut brown
More and more each day, each hour
Eyes looking tired from ages of struggles
Each reflecting a soul which was once so full of life
Now it lays stagnant and lost
It has the memories of its youth
Doing this that that man can only now remember
Wrinkles took so long to show
Even fooling that old man into thinking he was younger than he is
Every grey hair, every wrinkle has been earned
They are the wages of stress, pain and anxiety of aging
Some called them badges of honor
I look in the mirror and see that old man looking back at me
I don’t see honor, pain, stress or anxiety
That old man looking back at me has lived a full life
Successes and mistakes of the past are reflected in the mirror
Lost loves and loves found are hidden in his spirit
I look at the old man in the mirror 
I look at the grey hair and the sad eyes
I see each and every wrinkle
I look at the old man in the mirror and I see life


Details | Free verse | |

Deaf and Gone

I am whatever you say I am...
but, let's get back to reality...

       Three short years ago, this room shined welcome mats across a screen of doldrums.
A place of unfamiliarity that screamed, 
"You don't belong!"
Yet, a voice of reason spoke and said,
"Expand yir' roots. Venture beyond the comfort zone. Academia resides inside that room, but know you won't be alone."
Repeatedly,brainwaves declined what my wife and editor had told me.
I'd say,
"no way, I'm givin' up my soul for free, they read, they pay, like it's always been, the way it's going to always be!"
Unbeknownst to me one day, and with a slight of hand, my "Open Sores" were put on display and surprisingly more than a handful of great ladies and nice guys began to give feedback on what I had devised. 
This interaction was something very new, helpful, and impressive. For a change, it was something real.
For years, those around me were quick to give praise with hidden reasons. Constructive criticism is amazing, and I welcomed being corrected or set straight.
Now there are those who choose to shut me down without explanation, and call me names.
DO NOT mistake me for sophomoric! These words bleeding from my guts have no style and need no approval. There is no thinking involved here, no plan. If you don't like it, fine...don't censor or bracket me in. So what if I am illiterate?  If you don't like "street poetry" or the pathetic stuff I write, don't read it. If I offend you, tell me.
We should welcome those who are different than us. 
Words of truth inspire movement, like fire.
I came to this room to expand my horizons, step outside the box, learn, help, grow. 
There will be no apologies dealt for being different, or for being labelled as something uncomfortable to you. 
This has been an ok room so far, but there is some clique trickanery going on.
If the dictionary must come into play, let me recommend looking up the term "Poetic License."
True, I may not be the writer you prefer, or aspire to be....but tread carefully my friend, for you have no idea of my profession. I've made a fine living, for a good long time, spewing words onto paper. I came from nothing, and may still be nothing to you...still, I do what I love, have no boss.
I am not an aspiring writer who dreams of a life, I live my dream. In conclusion, I must wish you luck in finding what you peddle poetry for. Until then, keep 


Details | Free verse | |

Bubblewrapping Numbness

When tragedy strikes,
what happens to you?

Do you roll yourself up in
bubble wrap,
box yourself in
and pray that no one finds you?

or do you b-R-e-A-K
into a million pieces
and let others pick you up?


Reality feels like cork,
I push, will it to go and
stay                                      T
      d                                 O 
                                      N
        o                            
           w                 d
            N             l
                      u
                  o
but it      W


...I play zigzags
with it in the water,
and it still Refuses to
                        
                      S
                    i
                  n
                k


I am Numb.
And I try so hard to remind myself

This isn't about me,
not at all.

The regrets are still there,
the could'ves of life


You try to make sense of the tragedy
and still feel like floating up there
with the truth

Because even if the truth is dense and heavy,
it can defy gravity,
much like my tears










03092012140p144/146p158


Details | Free verse | |

Forbear

Love in a salted wound
I could wait months, or years for 
Finality
For absolute seizure, by your fingers upon my blighted heart
I speak in words like

Devotion
Desire

But its all lost in my disorganization,
Promises I can only hold above my head
Like a great weight
Supporting you and I
As long as you can hold your attention 
Without looking away from my frailties
My own erosions-  that as they fall,
Pass through you, 
Like snow between the bare branches of my heart. 

I am forever winter in the lack of 
Your presence. 
Waiting for the soft sound of your 
Footsteps in the lifeless air. 
Some sign of your journey here,
That does not echo back to me,

This is only a dream.

I wait
and wait
and wait
and there is only....
 


Details | Free verse | |

Shade of Ulysses Butterfly

Her head tilted back towards the darkened clouds,

Mocha curls rests on shoulder blades,

Lids shut tight hiding emerald eyes shedding crystals,

Water rushed from the grey sky,

Shades of ulysses butterfly flooded over flesh,

The drops pierced her tender pores,

Seeping under her pale skin,

Merging with her spirit as one,

Then remained.


Details | Free verse | |

Rebirth

Ignite,
The missing light,
Forget,
What's behind.
Just believe,
That love comes again...

'Cause,
The skies,
Are like a hard glide,
In a shining rainbow's light...

All dreams and fantasies,
Can be reality,
'Cause fantasy,
Is based on reality...
But all histories aren't the same...

'Cause,
Sometimes, we dive,
In our lives...

So,
Don't judge,
For what you see,
Judge,
For what it is...,
'Cause time passes,
But, memories remain...

And,
Listen,
To your heart,
'Cause,
The body, does,
The mind, thinks,
And, the heart, feels...,
While, the soul, lives...

So,
Always remember,
To remember the past,
To live the present,
And to wait and pursue the future...

Listen to your heart,
Before you are telling goodbye,
'Cause destiny,
Might lead to demise...,
But, remember that destiny can be changed...

Life is unpredictable,
But space and time,
Could be controlled...
And even if some die,
We may survive...

Remember,
That life,
Might have an endless beginning...

All that remains,
Is to be reborn...


Details | Free verse | |

On The Bank Of Eden

On the bank of my heart's Eden,
Reunited, but parted, were life and I,
By an unseen veil.

And now I stand,
Watching,
The unearthly land,
Whose beautiful weather,
I cannot feel but sense,
Is something more than spring,
And held away by an arcane fence,
There stand the angelic flowers blossoming,
Whose sweet scents,
And colours really soothing,
I know are there,
There presence I can swear,
But I am barred to perceive,
More than as if in a monochromatic dream.

I see the colours,
And the lights,
But not enough bold are my sights,
To carry them across the door to my soul,
As they do not know,
Where the door is hidden,
Maybe in the very Eden.

Maybe below the long, green grass,
Made of emeralds' slivers,
Fore whose assuaging greenness my eyes crave.
Or maybe under those godly rivers,
Flowing into the oceans of light,
Maybe in the core of air, in flight,
The heavenly air, 
To breath in which, I long,
And to fill it with a freedom song,
To light candles of peace in its each layer.

The saintly air,
In which I dream to disperse,
Like prophetic words,
That can echo the divine call,
To open the doors to my soul.
I look at my Eden through the invisible wall,
Knowing, somehow, that one day,
The wall will be melted away,
By my tears,
Swept away,
By the breeze of my prayers.

I stand praying to be reunited,
With my breaths, my soul, my flight,
Gazing at the wonderful but distant sight,
With my heart heavy,
Corners of my eyes wet,
I pray that I may get,
And reach soon, what is mine,
Feeling to have heard,
A whisper from the divine,
That to reach it, I have been destined.


Details | Free verse | |

An Unspeakable Hurt

Sleeping in your crib, you were curled onto your side, A thumb inside your mouth, a blanket cuddled in your arm. Only 18 months old, your baby blue eyes so beautiful, How could anyone bruise you this way, your innocence lost, Who was it who hurt you like this, if only you could talk. You take a bottle from me and nuzzle into my grasp, I want to protect you from any more harm and pain, All I can do right now, is love and care for you with all I have, And give your medications that will make you strong again. So I kiss you good night and place you back in your crib, May your night be filled with good fairies and sweet dreams. Then Social Services will take you away when you are well, I only hope and pray that you will be safe now forever more. **A true story from my Nursing career working in Pediatrics. Written by Lee Ramage September 19, 2011 For Debbie Guzzi’s contest “Children” Won 8th place


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Turbulence

The voices grow louder, Intensifying with emotion, anger lining every aggressive word. My insides squeeze tighter as the vitriol poisons my mind, How does such hostility exist? As the sound of hatred deepens, The feelings strengthen their grip, like a vice, So tight, I can no longer breathe All the negative emotions I have ever felt, fill me, Threatening to overflow. So long have they been banished… Enough. No more! My mouth opens, An earsplitting scream of pain and suffering shatters the silence, Sobs of sorrow and grief wrack my body, Murderous shrieks of anger and hate, Wretched cries of self-pity and self-loathing, Poison the air. Now, free of these emotions. But the monster still exists Within the dark depths of my mind.


Details | Free verse | |

Of Birds and Lonely Men


Drab pigeons in flight, skimming over the streets
Swift, restless movement, but going nowhere
Cleaving curved wings in the hot and stagnant air
While no one takes notice of a gray day's defeat

They circle and settle, no rhyme or a plan
They perch, then depart, feathered gypsies who roam
Chasing the shadows, surveying the land
They scavenge the streets, for a place to call home

Summer that coils between cracks in the concrete
Liquefied smog brews far deep in the bone
Pigeons fly low, testing virtues of streets
Assemble in flocks, yet must forage alone

                         Searching at feet of the crowds who walk by
                         Waiting for nothing, just a crumb from the sky
  …..                                                            
                                                         
Drab men walking circles, slouched over with scars 
Their only companions are ghosts of defeat
With no place to go, except under the stars
They huddle in corners, as the bitter night peaks

People and traffic are pounding the beat
No one gives notice, while they travel not far
Down sidewalks, and litter, in the noise of the street
Like pigeons in circles, where home is the dark

Summer that coils between cracks in the concrete
Liquefied smog brewing deep in the bone
And gray absent eyes, testing virtues of streets
Just litter on sidewalk, where cruel winds have blown

                         Searching at feet of the crowds who walk by
                         Waiting for nothing, just a crumb from the sky


………………………………………………………………


Details | Free verse | |

Patriotism

Have you ever thought about the Death of Christ?
Why did they crucify him?
If you read the story then you know
But what I ask is why didn't God stop them?
It's natural to protect our own
How could he let him be sacrificed?
For the good of all man I've been told
God sacrificed his only son for us
But what does he ask in return? What does he want?
Are we supposed to try and emulate him?
I wish to know
I don't understand his decision
To not help his only son, I couldn't do that
But I do know that is why we are not gods
Do people who give their lives for others emulate God?
When a solider dies for our country is he dying for us?
Or freedom? or both?
Are the parents godlike in their sacrifice of their children?
Like Christ when he sacrificed his only son
Or is it more than that?
Is patriotism just a mindset to get people to fight?
When one country is mad at another
It's the leaders who argue not the countries
Why can't the leaders fight and leave us alone?
Do leaders send their own children to fight and die?
Why should I send my children to fight and die for you?
Are you a God? Do you have my interests at heart? Or yours?
You say it is in the name of freedom, but whose freedom?
We have never been free
You send me to fight, kill, and die
And yet you say I am free, free to do what?
Free to murder those you want dead?
Free to send my children to their death for you?
Who are you again? Are you a God?
I fight for God not you
My children are not targets or murderers
And now you demand my children to be your shield
Who are you again? Never mind
I know who you are it's very plain to see
You are not a god you are a coward
You are evil and you are trying to destroy us
You are lying to all of us just as you always have
You speak of freedom
As you try to blind us with patriotism
And silence us with duty and honor, Meaningless!
From one who knows nothing of their meaning
I wonder what God would say to you
Knowing who and what you are
Would he forgive you?
Would he understand your deception? Would he?
I could not forgive you, this is why I am not a god
I can't forgive, I am vengeful, I would punish you
Without mercy
For allowing this deception of youth to continue
Maybe you believe your right but I can't believe that
You know what your doing is wrong yet you continue
One day you will pay, as we all will 
We are all guilty to some degree
But most of all we are guilty of sacrificing our children to you 
Who are you again? never mind
I just remembered, your the devil





Details | Free verse | |

Bystander

As you sit in your car
All dressed in black.
 You know,
It didn’t have to end like this
Now as you think back you remember
The faint white scars etched in her fair skin
And the timid smile that hid years of despair
 You remember that time your friends saw her crying in the hall
You sat there and laughed as they tortured her
The times you saw her sitting alone at lunch
She looked up at you with pleading eyes
“Hey, can you help me,” they said.
You thought about it , but instead you pretended you didn’t see her
And you left her there, sad and alone
That pleading look now haunts you
It begged somebody, anybody for help
But why should you commit social suicide for her?
You just kept walking away, selfish
Now though, you think back to those boring assemblies
About bullying and what it could lead to
Why didn’t you just listen?!
Maybe you could have spoken up, or found her help
Its too late now though, as you walk up to her casket
To say your first and last words,
To a girl, whose real name
You never cared to learn
“I’m sorry…”


Details | Free verse | |

Distress

I don’t know how much more I can take,
I just want it all to go away.
Should I even be here right now?
Should I be alive?
Do I deserve to exist?
Why am I even here?
It’ clear I’m not wanted
I can hear it in your voice
In the names I’m called
In the way I’m treated
So why do I bother?
Why do I continue to torture myself?
With being around you all?
I know why,
Because I thought we were a family
But we clearly aren’t
I am not wanted
I am worthless
I am ugly
I am a burden
I just want to die…sometimes


Details | Free verse | |

The Comfort of a Drunken mind

The Comfort of a Drunken Mind

Lipstick on an empty glass
A Memory of a smile
In my time, don’t you know?
Young girls vied for my attention
Always posing, Heartbreaker to women was I.

God, I will never see her smile again
her voice silent to me
Inside I am a flower without rain
A musician without music
My love waits in a queue,
Full of fools, and whiskey bottles
Ahhh another drink

Yes tomorrow, will be better

 I remember her stare,
Sitting on that chair,
That damn chair.
Drink Darling?
My Blossom of the night,
a smooth talker me.

I broke her dreams
Now Petals on a stormy sea
I remember her scent
Now washed away on the hurricanes breath
Called Whisky.

Ahh another drink, she won’t leave me?
Damn that empty chair
To bed, the morning will bring her back

The bottle sleeps
and the sandman paints his  illusions
Dreams invulnerable to reality.
The glow of dawn, incinerates these imposters
 Fabricated in the monsoon of a drowning brain

 Cornflakes and Barley wine, a man’s breakfast
What now, a snifter I think and another thought?

Love has left this empty chair
Where dreams and happiness dwelt
Where futures were planned
and Where love flowed, intoxicating our lives.
Still, the empty glass remains.
Ahh, another drink, and another illusion to comfort my soul

The bottle is my love now,
And the empty chair, my sentence.
That damned empty chair
Ahh did I tell you,  once I was a heartbreaker?
Come share a drink with me friend?
 


Details | Free verse | |

I would like to fly away - - -

To soar, take wing, take flight, glide ~ Be detached, apart from this life's reality Where past sorrows shroud my remembering To seal the heavy door to the past And to flutter on the edge of dreams To tremble, hover, grasping, peaceful and happy In imagination, floating and drifting Like a breathtaking butterfly with gossamer wings But then, but then ~ The cold fingers of the past come creeping Monsters, ogres, beasts of the long ago Memories screaming, shrieking, shattering my soul The beautiful lost in the carnage Oh the tears, the weeping, the eternal floating sadness The heavy door to the past is bolted, secure Impenetrable with many padlocks and thick chains Where anguish and bliss entwine in an endless battle And happiness died long, long ago But from time to time, whispering A single memory finds a way From under that weighty door locked, chained And I crush the sweetness to my broken heart, weeping . . . April 28, 2013 Free Verse


Details | Free verse | |

The dying red giant

It stands alone
in a field of loneliness and neglect
the bright red paint has faded into a murky brown
a strict reminder from mother natures pounding fury through the years
once housing a families treasures
now only stores their forgotten tears

The door hangs lazily from its missing bolts
its hinges silent and perfectly rusted
as children we played inside its sturdy walls
now, it cant be trusted

It stands alone
the barn...
surrounded by a field of weeds and decay
tired and broken
it waits for its eventual collapse
a once bright red smile has faded
its loneliness has no purpose
not anymore


Details | Free verse | |

I Feel Sad Today

I feel sad to day

I feel sad in heart to day, to see what is happening all around me 
The season of spring is singing the tune of autumn
The Koyals* and nightingales have left without singing,
This beautiful garden and the trees,
Before the spring would have bloom them to sing,
In full throated ease and beauty
They have left the nest and the tree and even the Garden
To see all this 
I am very sad to day, sad, very sad in heart 

Adieu my friends, you are the birds, who could have sung,
Many more songs and would have given many more dreams,
To those who are still in the garden, in the hope of a Koyal’s melody

But these are the dreams for awaken eyes
And not for those who are sleeping
As day dreams can be put to shape, but the dreams of sleeping eyes
Very rarely get a shape and are often get lost in sleep alone
I feel very sad,  
To realize and to see things as they getting all around me

Ravindra

Kanpur India 31 01 2010			
rkkapoor@sancharnet.in
*Koyal .  A melody singing bird of India (like the Nightingale of John Keats)
Koyal mainly sings in the season of spring.


Details | Free verse | |

Looking into the Mirror

"Looking Into the Mirror"
Sudden realizations iced up his core 
To form the frozen image of a man 
He who stared in reflected embarrassment
While sobering silence takes over the room
As this was not the person he was to become
But for childish dreams that stuck with him
Fantastic machinations that warped a man's mind
So he'd remain a child who never grew up
And had to face his parents on occasions 
The adult to them is just on the exterior
Because he made a living selling his voice
Though in using it to say I'm sorry
His parents would have to wait 
Just like the forever he has waited 
To hear them say we love you for what you are
A child never grows too old 
For their parents open arms


Details | Free verse | |

The Stars Are Mine Tonight

I guide my body,
but my soul I do not.
My mind.
My feelings.
They've slowly broken apart.

The darkness screams at me,
trying to reel me in.
"they're gone," they say.
"you're nothing but pitty and sin."

Though most think it's hard to step foot in this place,
it takes true strength to find another way.

As the black swallows me whole,
I see a million bright lights.
I lay there in my sorrow,
and know the stars are mine tonight.

Somehow they -- uniquely twinkling --
take my feelings on adventures to slow my breathing.

They strongly look through me,
and have my mind soaked
with things like courage, and happiness, and hope.

I lay there for hours until their vivid wisdom fades.
the dreadful transition of night to day.

When the sun gradually peaks over the horizon,
I notice the pain in my hand from clenching my knife.
But as the light shines upon me,
the only feeling I have is the feeling of life.

I stand face to face with the greatest star of all.
Feeding off of its power, I break down my wall.

The sun shows me the paths that I have to choose from,
but it's up to me to choose the right one.

I'm ready to cut ties with the sadness I hold.
I shall live my life right and pick the right way to go.

I'm eager for night to fall,
to show them that they were right.
They all found their way.
The stars are mine tonight.


Details | Free verse | |

Soaked in Sadness

I went to my tub
Turned on the tap
Watched as my sadness
Filled it to the top
The worries of many days
In the water crystal clear displayed
Deep beneath the surface layed
Summoning to me
Please come in

I stripped down
To my essence
The discarded garments
In a pile on the floor
The yesterday man 
I didn't need anymore

I climbed in
Sunk into the sadness
Allowed it to caress
Warm
Somehow comfort
As it washed over me
Invigorating my complacency
Calming 
Saving 
Staving off
My insanity
This was my attempt
At C'est La Vie

Layers of yesterday's regrets
The calls of unpaid debts
The reasons I choose to be upset
All caught in liquid suspension
Relieving my built up tension

Once I was fully cleansed
I was able to begin again
Pulling the plug
I watched it all go down the drain
Extricating
Relieving the pain

I lifted myself
Dripping on the floor
Done with the sadness
I didn't need it anymore 
I stepped over the clothes 
On the floor
Left them behind
Walked out that door
Ready and willing
To face the world again
A brighter
Cleaner
Version of me
An empty tub
Happier
And free
C'est La Vie


Inspired by Eileen Ghali's poem
"Maddening Rain"








Details | Free verse | |

Train, Alone

I wail lonely
in your distances
as endless trestles travel I

Know

I was here I was
present
on your horizons,
present in your town

Come, ride with me
Come, keep me 
from obsolescence, keep me
alive

Without you
Within me
I am meaningless,
blind

For how can I see, and, yes,
Who can I show,

If  not you... if not you... if not you 


Details | Free verse | |

In Her Fathers Arms

The evening star glowing in a dust choked sky. A girl stands by a window, with a tear in her eye. She stares at the scene, hardly visible through the grime. She whispers in the wind, “Bring my Dad home this time” She opens the window, and climbs outside, Having a flashlight, in her hand, as her guide. Its glow shows the sides of the street. She’s afraid for what the light will meet Bodies piled everywhere she turns, She wants to go home, and never return. What brought this fate upon her town? All her emotions are stripped and torn down. A frightening sound explodes in her ear. Shadows in the road now appear. She run and hides behind a broken wall Praying to god the rest doesn’t fall. Footsteps coming closer to her She can’t tell who because it’s all a blur She backs away further so not to be seen in light, Quieting her heart pounding from fright. Gun shots and screams fill the air, All these sounds, her ears couldn’t bear. A slight whimper slips from her lips, And over the broken stone she trips. The shadows run closer, showering her heart with fear, She wishes they would just disappear. They pass by her; she fills with delight, She just wants to see her dad tonight. She shines the light, to show her place, And to the shine comes a familiar face. She doesn’t understand who’s to blame Because on the tag shows her father’s name. She holds in her tears and refrains from crying. She falls to the ground where her dad was lying. She lifts his arm and buries her face in his chest. She closes her eyes wanting to forget the rest. The shadows emerge yet she doesn’t see, How close the end for her would be. They look down at her, aim, shoot, and fire. Being with her dad is her only desire. The night had ended causing a little girl harm But she took her last breath, in her father’s arms.


Details | Free verse | |

The Beauty In Futility

Futility
my heart breathes its last breath
Embraces its own death
Ready to be reborn 
and made anew

Can’t live a lie
Refuse to “do”
and I’ll DIE....
Focus now on why I’ll live 
And never touch the sky. 

I have to forget you
I have to reject you 
But I will never love anyone 
like I loved you.....

I heard you whisper 
and you never knew it
I wiped the tears from your eyes 
But you couldn’t feel it

You’re lost and you’ll never find you
And neither will I 
And I’m so sorry--
but I’m NOT. 

I'll attempt to reset
Try to forget
But you know, I never will. 

Be my dirty little secret 
My very worst-kept secret 
Sweet, smooth, beautiful poison 
My infernal and endless attraction 
towards complete and utter self-destruction 

I fell in love with the devil
And it will take one heck of an angel
To save me from the likes of you....

My addiction 
my confusion
my nightmare
my dream never to come true

Oh, I’ll never forget the times
we never shared
I’ll never forget 
how you were never there

Always me, the stars, and tears
And I ask you,
what kind of life is THAT?

I have to face the facts 
I don’t know what happens now
but it happens without you. 

The stains will always be there
the scars will never fade
But the memory of you----
it HAS to. 

I could carry the torch forever
But it would only consume me
I can’t cry another tear for you
Or I’ll dry up completely

It doesn’t affect you
and you never deserved me

You’ll go on with your life, too
All, all alone
Because you’ll only ever be in love
with you. 


Details | Free verse | |

Tumbleweeds


Memories tumble through my mind, some, missing for a while.
I try to fill in the blanks. Others, I sweep into the corners.
You know, the ones that are easier forgotten.
Tumbleweeds...my memories have become tumbleweeds.
I take snapshots of the cherished ones, giving them a home
before they blow away in the savage wind.
"Did I tell you my mom liked to dance?"
"Yes", I remember.
I hear the music, her long hair bouncing with each step.
She doesn't dance anymore.
Moments gone...memories fleeting.
"Did I tell you my dad played drums?"
"Yes", I remember. 
I hear rat-a-tat-tat in my head.
I used to sing at the top of my lungs while he played.
He never seemed to mind my shrill, little girl voice.
I miss him, I miss his drums. Music is not the same.
I close my eyes and another memory blows through spaces.
My brother is racing his bike down the street FAST.
He is about ten, all legs in his shorts.
"Where are you going?" I call after him, too late.
He is gone and I wonder if he was ever here.
Some do go astray I remind myself.
Missing memories...missing love.
"Wait, come back", I yell. I'm still here.
Ruminating, I ask myself if we ever know the ones we love.
No, not really. I remember.
Frantic, I reach for the tumbleweeds.
I reach for my two earthly fathers who are long gone...
I see them. Then, they blow away, missing again.
I chase them futilely. The savage wind still blows.
Across grains of desert sand, I will never know why.
Tumbleweeds...my memories have become tumbleweeds.

By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
March 2, 2012
Second Place in Chris Aechtner's Let the Masks Fall Contest




Details | Free verse | |

Ocean In The Deep Space Of My Heart

I’m diving deep down into the ocean world full of spectacular plasmatic bubbles enchanting creatures breathed them out orange, yellow, pink , purple and red wallowing through dazzling soft neon-colored starfishes in quest of its most marvelous graces weeds with various tones of green wagging gracefully along the way like curtains in musical enchantments and coral reefs in mountain ranges with their majestic beauty in carousels of fish and seahorses still diving deep down into the ocean world in quest of its marvelous graces in unfathomable depth of rainbow-colored whirlpools deep within I see from afar my precious pearls
8th Place Winner Contest: Space Odyssey Judged: 10/5/12 Sponsor: Poet Nathan -----D September 21,2012 by Leonora Galinta


Details | Free verse | |

Complete Isolation

Am I man or ghost?
Am I mortal or apparition?
Questions or choices
or entwined reality?
For a state of confusion
sleeps within my fiber, and
slowly rips asunder, the final
sliver of my contemporary humanity,

Sunrises and sunsets go unseen,
as I fully embrace my departure
from time, human contact, and connection,
with a creative conviction and devotion
to my only passion as an excuse, a deceitful
reason to shelter myself from the tender
moments that keep emotions empowered
and empathy evolved,

Yet truth is untied by introspection,
and as I analyze, I accept reality,
Seclusion has become to me, the 
fruit that protects the emotional
body but imprisons the loving mind,
and by this bittersweet conundrum,
I am bound and devoted to this ambivalence,
by the mere comfort and promise of
being content,

And by such a promise, I have
personified my fear of emotional
agony, yet tamed its risk with the 
fierce whip of isolation, thus the shame
and allure become as one, And as I
lose who I was, and tolerate who I am,
my disconnection from humanity
hurts those who care, yet keeps me
safe, with ink as my final outlet,

Still, as I sacrifice need for need,
I am not the one who still suffers,
Those with hearts that beat for me,
have become victims of my seclusion,
and I ache for them, but less and less
with each breath, For my isolation
continues to force its fee, and I notice
only after it is taken, and as I see their pain,

Only my thoughts are heard, my wishes
important, and my contentment decreed,
And despite visions of tears and sorrow
that were once my salvation, Now, I 
only look away, and remain a willing
prisoner in the sweet self shelter, of
the nothingness I show, and will one day
feel, without rue...


Details | Free verse | |

Carbon Monoxide (CO) Week 2: Carbon Cabrona

Smokeless inhales hurt.
I cough tar on my shirt.
As my black lungs breathe,
Shrilling exhales wheeze.

Cabrona
Falls me
Down to
My knees.

The nicotine cracks
My will.
My composure
Spills.

I want 
This.
I must 
Have this.

I sink
Into
The brink
Of madness.


Details | Free verse | |

Careless

I slept
full of hope and dreams
I awoke 
empty and forgotten
Careless as I was back then

Morning sounds
swirling in my ears
Pointless thoughts
filling my head

"She can."
but will she ever again
"She is."
though no longer for me

I stood
alone and stiff
I walked
slow and without purpose
Careless as I was back then

The smell of spring
mingled with sunshine
as the touch of day
warmed me no more

"I was."
but I threw it all away
"I did." 
though I do not know why

I hoped
for a day without me
I cried
where no one could see
Careless as I was back then

Was this longing
joyless and caretaking
awaiting its chance
to bring me home again

Or was I lost
forever here like a wounded angel
Despaired and angry
the evening came again

Without warning
Without love
Without consumption
Without her

"In her arms,"
I wondered as the sun slipped away
"would I feel whole again?"
my hurt had wasted another day

I laid down
empty and forgotten
I slept 
full of hope and dreams
Careless as I was back then


Details | Free verse | |

EULOGY FOR THE ELDON GALLERY, WATERLOO


Once a place that sold cultivated pigment, the shop has become a catacomb,
Windows entombed by cardboard boxes, deprived of the merest hint of life and
I wonder if the gallery owner had intended a display of irony or focused rage. 

Gone, the watercolour weeping chartreuse, its soft backdrop of midnight blue,
And the oil on wood with knife strokes applied so thickly, it almost moved, 
Charcoal sketches of thunderstorms hitting the shores of Port Elgin, greys loud. 

Dark now the halls that had sheltered dreamscapes, art of all disciplines and sizes,
Squeezing themselves into corners and elbowing each other for my attention.
I ache for that one perfect dove that called to me from an azure sky, the one who 

knew my name, but I did not have the funds to take him home to my little cage.
He deserved a rectory or a view that would at least provide a kind of sanctuary.
Oh, how his wings had beat against pulse points and one of his feathers tickled

out a memory of a robin that had flown towards a cloudless sky, but instead had 
collided with a picture window; the contact point marred by a red, sickle shaped 
smear, and my grandmother had carefully wrapped the corpse in yesterday’s news.

I had trudged out to the garbage can, unseen, found the poor thing in its shroud, 
Snuck out to the garden and buried it amongst tall phlox and florid snap dragons,
I’d succumbed to tears, wrenched by a world where beauty is fragile and disposable.

Today people walk along the street, wearing blinders, holding devices that fail to
signal that something living and real slowly starved to death, atrophied, and I watch
a happy child point to a puddle, but her mother fails to see the large coin it holds.

I recall a portrait that had enraptured like a sun shower, reminiscent of light and rain, 
A girl traipsing waves, almost overtaken, her footsteps disappearing under foam…
And I silently apologize to those artists unmet, the ones who continue to meet panes. 







*Please click on the About my Poem link to see a picture of what inspired this poem... It has been closed for a while, but today, I walked past it and remembered the lovely art that I had once appreciated, yet was never able to afford. 


Details | Free verse | |

Shattered

Looking out a rainy window,
Seeing places that seem strange,
Makes you think of old and new, 
Shattered dreams, a glimpse of change,
All away and all distorted,
In the once so hopeful heart,
All beneath what you have planned,
If a plan is what you've got.
Many try to comprehend,
Why trouble just comes their way;
Sadly they find in the end
That they couldn't have a say
And they're wrong for thinking so
But when sadness flies to you,
There isn't much you can do... 

Is there?

Maybe lie to you and others,
That we are a happy kind,
Just that sometimes we are clouded
By the way our lives entwine.


Details | Free verse | |

Forgotten You

Forgotten you
As your mind collects the memories of yesterday
Forgotten You
Epiphanies tie into knotty strings of realization
That very moment. . . 
You merely exist

Back then. . .those smiles
Those. . .distant laughs
Some you remember by name
Gone now maybe
Like the exhalation of the wind
Others dispersed in the world of arbitrary happening
Like leaves from falling, man-made trees
There is no doubt that they have
Forgotten you

Activate the bomb
Ignite the fuse
And you’re on next year’s history book
Never forgotten
But drained of all remaining good

That smile you gave
That happiness
The warm embrace so long ago
Salt-coated with piles of rubbish
Over last remaining mental spurts of comfort
Evil, evil, evil, evil, EVIL. . .
Always absorbed and remembered
. . .though never forgiven. . .

All good and gracious sentiments
Packed up in a box set nonchalantly in Downstair’s storage
. . .that chair with the broken leg in the corner of the room
That mangled cobweb holding a dangling, lifeless spider
A drowned sailor’s hat drifting through the current of the ocean
The single tear from a soldier’s vigilant, memory-stricken eye
The frustrating thoughts of a mute
The unchanged. . .HATED deformations

Forgotten you. . .
One soul brings to light weary, unthought-of happenings
Wedged deep into what she can only imagine
With not even a hint of understanding
. . .of the pain. . . .of the bewildering distortions
Of the ugly. . .
One soul merely vomits sickly verse after verse

As humanity embraces its downfall
The poet hangs onto her unjustifiable, forgotten. . .
Words


Details | Free verse | |

Turn Down The Voices In My Head

	




I pretended to be sleeping, .... through long hours of the night Across the milky-way, you slept, 'til dark became the light I could hear your quiet breathing, .... in the rekindling of dawn sighing empty words we never said, just the rustle of the bed where I pretended to be sleeping, buried deep, in pillows weeping Knowing you were close, beside me, ...pretending something, too The night was dark and lonely, as cold as two hearts grieving Exhausted love, that could not sleep, is weary love that we can't keep A love that's running out of breath, is brushing death too soon... I pretended to be sleeping, but could hear my own heart breaking.... I stayed awake to hear your breath, But now, afraid of footsteps leaving A branch against the window glass, is scratching to come in As if to pry, the words, "goodbye", that is carried in the wind I pretended to be sleeping, but, I can't ignore the sunrise The day arrives, without disguise, I must face it now, and ask it why? You have turned your back, as if to hide Pretending something too....
____________________________________________________ For Debbie's Contest: Songs to Poetry "I Can't Make You Love Me, If You Don't" by Bonnie Rait ("Turn down the lights, turn down the bed, turn down the voice in my head...inspired the turning a back on love)


Details | Free verse | |

Isolation Keeps

Along roads where mistral sweeps
Loneliness within ambles on
Every other step falling, keeps isolation
While, happiness continues out of sync


Details | Free verse | |

Estranged

He looks on with glasses, from a distance, but faces are blurred, and it only magnifies his deep loss
Ninette form 3/23/12


Details | Free verse | |

in memory of a rose

your velvety blossoms
slowly withers away
once tender roots
have now decayed
at the thought i cringe
such insidious disease
gradually infects
each and every leaf

moldy black spots
crinkled stained edges
your magnificent growth
gradually suppresses
your unsurpassed beauty 
now fuzzed up and gray
crinkled debilated stems
a dull distorted array

shoots barely opened
leaves now curled and bent
such unforgettable moment
your petals soon descend
your spicy scent has drifted
such sickly brittle vein
Flowers now discolored
and left to thrive on pain

after months of nurturing
your once marvelous display
the thought of you slowly wilting
has left me in dismay



*My theme is taken from Constance's Poem "in Memory of a rose"*


Details | Free verse | |

Hurt

I can't tell you what it is I can't even tell you what it feels like I can only tell you that it's the worst pain You'll ever feel in you life It'll feel like every bone in your body is breaking Like every breath you take will be your last Like every muscle in your body is failing to support you And thats only the least of it. There is so much more! You eyes will feel like they're bleeding from all the tears you'll shed. You tounge will swell with words that you can't say. Your ears will make you question everything coming into them. And your heart, Well thats the worst part of it! It will feel as though its stopped beating... And who knows, maybe it has.


Details | Free verse | |

A Forlorn Cry

Why can’t you hear my forlorn cry?
Its restless desire calls out each night
Waiting for you to answer it 
But you ignore my forlorn cry
Only thinking of your own self
Why won’t you answer my helpless call?
Its feeble sound grows softer each day
Hoping you will come to its aid
But you ignore my helpless call
Not thinking of the pain that burns in me
Each time you ignore my forlorn cry
You fuel the burning pain 
I have suffered all my life


Details | Free verse | |

The Hands of Pain

My soul pounds with rage.
This heart has been scorched,
by your burning words.

My soul gasps for light 
slowly suffocated,
By your hands of pain.

I bare the mark of shame.
Your touch has maimed my body.
My mind drowned out my screams.

Blow by blow,
Shamed so low.
Never did you know how,
Your hands of pain marked me.


Details | Free verse | |

Truth

The truth leaks out
Standing there like a frail child
Taking the hands of the elder
Looking through the glass of lonesome
And seeing what rings real
Seeing what feels true
This gash in my heart mends
At the thought of you
But it never truly heals
Stranded in the wasteland of my mind
Brushed by burning cold winds
I fear there are no blinds over you
I fear you will see it
The flaws
The very flaws I use to stitch myself
Locked up inside all of these years
Shadows ready to be freed
Only to be followed by greed
The skies have lost all color
Through the stitching
Truth bleeds
Truth hurts so bad

The truth is I love you
But why am I so sad? 

I can't say a word
My feet are firmly planted on larvae
They slowly eat me away
Hoping I will be gone in time
Before you see
Before you see the truth
I don't want you to see
Perhaps if you only knew
That I love you
Perhaps you wouldn't have to open your eyes


Details | Free verse | |

What I Cry For

I cry for the children
     Who may never know the joy of laughter
     or the loving touch of a gentle hand
     who survive amongst violent chaos
     burdened by things they can't understand
I cry for the tortured souls
     whose mind is not their own
     who live within warped realities
     of twisted perceptions and misery
     tormented by things we cannot see
I cry for the veterans
     still waging war in their sleep
     their minds broken by hellish scenes from the deep
     who languish over promises they couldn't keep
     and who are lost, alone out on the streets

©  07-26-2012


Details | Free verse | |

Beautiful as Daisies

She was Rachel, beautiful as her name and in all ways.
In innocence, caught up in “grown up, worldly things
Folks who knew her laughed it off took is as if a joke
At a loss to grasp the deeper meaning behind it all
Her parents were alarmed and sought to reinforce their rules
But it seemed it was too late to remedy this state
It’s so hard to understand how this change came about
One moment she was their baby, the next, a stranger in their midst
This tragedy could not have been any part of God’s plan
Lost, running away, leaving behind comfort and warmth
She, instead would hitch-hike her way to live as a stray
Rachel and her friends never envisioned the many dangers
For lack of better judgment, with her life she would pay
He seemed like an average “Joe”, wearing a jacket of softest leather
She thought, ‘He’s hot and dressed fine; no way could he be whack’
Inexperience and temperament silently urged her on
Repressed anger held fast as she played a game of dice
She’d been waiting at the gas station just off Route Seventy Seven 
Many hours past, as she mulled over random thoughts
Cold, tired and hungry, it was getting late as panic took a seat

Contn'd Pg. 2


Details | Free verse | |

GRANNY

On hearing your death
What creep in my head was
Akon's Pot of Gold
Its melody within heart
You have served your purpose
So Rest in Peace
Born to Love
But it enslaved and betrayed
And onwards you pressed
Your foils nurtured your old age
As strong as you were
Your battle on the thin line
You won hands down
I admire You
Last week I saw and greeted 
You were fit
What an awesome recovery
Indeed your Maker wiped your tears
But now it is finished
Well done
As a kid I run onto your bosom on visits
Then rained on me praises
But I lost contact
Next I saw you on life’s field of war
Then despised, not long
I grew wise to know
For with time all will grow
Was in turn and showered care
Hope you recognized
Thanks for your Blessings
My half seed of lineage
May God lay you to a Peaceful rest
Where Love will search to find you
Your foils cry
Swollen red are our fragile eyes
Thousand thorns within our hearts
Pain abounds here
May your Spirit comfort us
Smile down once again
Smile down once again
Memories well built would be well kept
Strong willed, Religious, Grateful 
Lord we are thankful
Yours forever
A Single Parent's sweat lay to Rest in Peace.

©Kofi Asokwa-Nkansah


Details | Free verse | |

Alive

And we are left here Like maggots—dirty, parentless…devastated Always feeding on the gruel…the cruel Fattening our lives in the moneyless bilk Shocking like a bee sting, yet soft as silk We are the forgotten I am watching the others grow rotten But I am cleansed and raw with glee Because…though blinded with slime…I SEE… I rise to the sound of the agonizing screams Of rapes, murders, of violent fists…weeping minds My definition of true finds… I smile when any possible hope arrives Fate laughs, knowing I constantly scream inside I am amused of it all…I can’t stop laughing As bitter tears began to fall I HATE ALL OF YOU… I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL… But I love that I can take anything From the nothing we have all been labeled The sick, the low…the mentally unstable Watch me roll up in a ball A naughty tease to death’s lull I love your silence… I love your intense fall And we are more alive than any of you We are crazed by your belligerence Aching to be emotionless SHARE YOUR INDIFFERENCE SHARE IT… Give us something to be left with So the others can die As Fate veers its head looking in the mirror Listen to her laughter—do you hear her? She watches and waits To find her maggots have grown wings… Screw your selfish indifference...we fall to fly We are more alive than any of you Though quickly we die


Details | Free verse | |

Saved My Life

I went back into that dark, dark place 
Were demons dwell 
And 
Lives are taken away
But
Through the pain 
And 
Through the tears 
You were there and kept me near. 
You saved my life by loving me; 
Your silent strength was the key. 
Gentle touches and silent words 
Let me know that love was the cure. 
Depression is my evil curse, 
And 
When it planted the seed of death
Your love washed it away 
And
Gave me the strength
To seek the help I needed to keep it at bay. 
I’ve walked that dark path so many times 
I’ve done lost track, 
But 
Things have change 
And God’s given me a special tool 
To help me through, 
I have you and Joshua too, 
And 
Rooted deeper is the knowledge 
Both of you want me to stay a little longer. 
So like a drug addict that has lost their way
I start the road back to brighter days,
And
There are not enough words to say
I Love You 
In every way 
And 
May God bless us ever day.


Details | Free verse | |

Grieving Goodbye

One step I go back, and
I see you holding my hands...
With a smile, walking down the lanes.
Yesterday I acquainted me in you
When your hands grabbed mine in your fears
With such reliance, allaying down the pains.
And Today when I stood still
I saw myself lost in despair
When my hands sorely waved you goodbye.

Another step I go back, and
I see you resting on my shoulder
With an ease, breathing  out all your whimseys.
Yesterday I held myself in you
When you hugged me in your tenderness
With such peace, grieving away all the hearsays.
And Today when I fastened myself
I felt I betrayed your trust
When my arms direly opened to free your life.

Further I stepped to go back, and
I see you lying up on me abreast
With an intimacy, desiring all your fondness.
Yesterday I mellowed my soul in yours'
When you lusted me in your reverences
With such warmth, melting down all the iciness.
And Today when I lie down
I realized I burnt my essence
When my deity hollered out to coffined my soul.

Yet I wanted to go back, and
I see my shadow fading out slowly under the daylight
With such isolation, deafing all those mirthful moments.
Yesterday I was in a state of solitude
Till I acquainted with your heart and soul
With such reliance, peace and warmth, gratifying all forbearance.
And Today I am back, where I was
I raged as it was hard to believe
When my heart panicked to say you GOOD-BYE.


Details | Free verse | |

ThoseTheGodsWouldDestroyTheyFirst MakeMad

      I know where you are,
I simply can't find you .....
         alone and together
we silently sway .

  You sit in the lamplight
          in front of the embers,
yesterday's answers 
asleep on the floor.

  I sweep up the fragments
             of years in the evening,
laying them gently 
on top of the coals.

  one bright flaring moment
            alive in your pipils,
  a memory burning

like dry leaves
        in Autumn,
a smile on your face
that you wore when you found me

lost and alone
as I am here today.


Details | Free verse | |

Hate-filled Love

I hate your touch and your smile.
Wicked little creature.

I hate your blue eyes and brown hair.
Sinful hate filled liar.

I hate your voice and your scent.
Rotten two-timer.

I hate you everything you do for what you did.
But we loved and touched, smiled, talked and connected physically.

You lied about our moments spend, 
you can't look me in the eyes.

You lead me on and stole my youth, 
but don't have the nerve to speak to me now.

I hate your beauty and your thievery;
but loved the way you made me fill.

I hate that you now do the same to another girl;
your lies blind her.

I hate the diseases you carry; 
love the infection you gave.

I love you and can't let go,
hate because I’m smarter than this.

I hate this poem because I think of you with every word...
Your eyes, your smile, your hair, your skin, and your kiss.

Most of all...

I love you for the time we had.
I hate you because you don't want me now. 


Now what???


Details | Free verse | |

Beautiful as Daisies

Contn'd from Pg 1

So she called out to the stranger and asked for a ride
Snow had fallen heavily and already piled three feet high
When she climbed into the four-wheel truck never giving it another thought
Before he headed down the highway, he went into a crowded bar
Intuition nudged her, ‘get out now, turn back!’ But pride urged her, 'stay'
He returned with a brown bag; appearing harmless as he turned to her
‘Say, you’re trembling!’ He said and flashed a breathless smile
‘Here, have a slug, of this, it’ll warm you up, pretty girl!’ 
Hesitation loomed for a minute then she accepted the bag from his hand
Young Rachel, was now treading a path beyond thin, cracking ice 
As tears stung her beautiful eyes, she'd never had a drink this strong
How her vacant tummy rebelled against the searing burn
Nausea arose from deep within, and she began to have regrets
Registering strong protest, her regurgitation would later accuse her killer
Her faith was sealed as there were no open doors left for escape
And before she realized he had made a reckless wide left turn
Down the snow covered dirt path through tall pines and fir
No longer were there sightings of sparsely lit farm houses 
Interspersed along the desolate, picturesque landscape 
The four-wheeler tackled with ease, snow drifts of fresh fallen snow
Where the following spring young Rachel's body would be discovered
That night Rachel laid buried under a few feet of snow
She was at rest now to awaken to eternity in sunny fields 
Beautiful as daisies growing in heaven, carefree and endlessly in bloom!

~*~

For:  Rachel..R.I.P.




Details | Free verse | |

14 years ago

Death,
thou boisterous ancient foe,
you crept in surreptitiously,
and bore a hole in our hearts.
It's 14 years now,
14 years of longing.
For seven years, the torrential rain battered us,
and we almost succumbed to the intensity of the rain.
Then,
a Moses arose,
lion-hearted damsel
and the lineage was rescued.
Father, I ache and bleed daily,
as I remember your tilling and planting seasons.
You planted many seeds in us.
Father, a little seed has sprouted,
and has borne many fruits,
succulent fruits indeed.
I wished I could give you a bite,
Alas,
the curtain was drawn 14 years ago,
and now you are a complete dust.
Adieu, my father!
Adieu, the muse that brought out the poet in me.







The pain, grief and sorrow that I felt after my father's death forced me to look for a way of expressing the pent up emotion of anger and sadness; poetry gave me the answer. Over the years, I have fallen in love with poetry and no one can break the union


Details | Free verse | |

Nightmare

Rest is a requirement,
for all,
in order to have this,
sleep is a must,
after a day’s of hard work,
wherein sleep is a must,
for all,
to freshen up the next day,
though the mind goes to sleep,
and the body follows suit,
the subconscious mind awakens,
and in lie,
a number of dreams,
awaiting you,
the dream,
that always reigns in my mind,
is the death of my wife, 
not once,
but more than a couple of times,
why does this dream,
often arise in my mind,
is the answer I seek,
is it because of the love we have towards one another,
or is it the compassion for each other,
or is it in relation of serving one another, 
or is it a kind of warning,
a warning to take care in the future, 
some people may call this as the sixth sense,
while I call this a nightmare,
as nightmares are really scary,
yes, nightmares are quite scary indeed, 
if you do agree with me or not!!

From:-Mr.Manu Nair (dated 19th November, 2012)


Details | Free verse | |

Lies

LIES

A web that has no ending
For I can not stop 
Even though I try
Something is wrong with me
Because my judgement is blinded
And I can not see
Every time I make the promise
To quench the desire to mislead
It only adheres for a short moment
Until the web starts to bleed 

The deciet of my words
My voice has no truth
It is an addiction 
A never ending piercing thorn
It is like a paper cut 
That always hurts to the touch
And I am that paper cut
That hurts everyone I touch

Why can't I control this monster inside
It is destroying my very being
It is grasping my loved ones by the heart
Tearing their view of me completely apart
I wish that this was just a dream
That this is not as bad as it seems
And that I am not pushing everyone away

Acceptance is my aime
To be looked upon higher
Eventhough, I have everything I have always visioned
This thing still wants to feed 
I have tried so many times to depress it
So many promises and pleads
To the one above
Whom I know that shows only love
The one who can crush this irritating bug

It yearns so badly to come alive
That I can not contain it
Eventually, it slowly engulfs my soul
Like fumes from a old kerosene heater
Taking away my breath

Some days I try to start a fresh
But, within hours and without even knowing 
Out comes my darkened words
My mind has no control
I Have No Control
Only Lies have Control



Details | Free verse | |

Die alone and born again

The man with the plastic bug in his head
monopolized my dreams last night
in the place that the horsefly of my dignity
finally surrender to the impresario without a fight.

Seven days and 7 hours transplanted in my memorabilia
reminding the rustiness of the purple child
flatterers danced beneath the clouds of melancholy
and morality spreader the master plan inside my mind.

The disinheritance of my immortality the final day
discouraged my desire to see the forbidden love
restored my will to escape
manipulated the deep of the uncertainty above.

Released from the plastic bug in my head
try to cover my yellow child in the purple sky
laughing,singing,whispering,playing
seven days and seven hours before he dies.


Details | Free verse | |

Eyes

Her delicate silhouette still lingers in my eyes, 
closer than these arms can embrace; haunting me. 
I breathe her in within the lull of a zephyr, 
lilac and roses filling the air; forever staining my memory.
Life found her defenseless, silenced by a veil of darkness; 
faith clutched tight within her hand,
as esoteric dreams are shattered beneath the rages of a soulless hand.
Frail she emerged, soul hidden, draped in shades of gray.

Sweet serenity severed tragically; incarcerated reality. 
Her taunting whispers bleed my heart,
no peace for the buried thoughts inside;
for innocence was laid to rest before dying, 
earthbound, intimately weaving in and out through me.
No more saline tears to sate these eyes,
just an expressionless specter in human disguise.
She wore candy apple red the day she left; bright eyes that smiled.


Details | Free verse | |

The White Pumpkin

The White Pumpkin

A farmer tends his field
Vines grow and wrap around each other
Giant white flowers bloom in the heat of summer
Butterflies and bees dance from flower to flower
Spreading the pollen from male to female
Inseminating to create the next generation
Weeks later the children arrive
They laugh and giggle as they run among the orange pumpkins
Each one takes their favorite home for carving or pie
One pumpkin is born small, oddly shaped with a white skin
It sits alone by the wooden fence as the rest are taken
The day before Halloween one child comes for a visit
Out of the dozens of pumpkins still waiting the child chose the small white one
His parents point out all the beauty around him
The child doesn’t change his mind or his heart
He spoke of the one he wanted
“This one is like me,” he said as he lifted it into his wheelchair
That was all that had to be said
The white pumpkin was loved by a little boy 
A little boy who knew what it was like to be different
He knew what it was like to be loved
And now, so did that small, oddly shaped pumpkin with a white skin


Details | Free verse | |

Why do I bother ?

                             Why do I bother waking up
                            when everydays the same 
                              life has no purpose
                             while we are estranged
                              
                            Why do I bother going to sleep 
                            when all I have is nightmares
                                 
                             Why do I bother breathing 
                        when  I just end up gasping for air
                       
                              Why do I bother eating
                               when all I want is you
                              
                               Why do I bother bathing
                             When everything feels so dirty
                                   
                         Why do I bother talking
                       when I just feel like screaming

                              Why do I bother living 
                             When i feel like im dying
                              

                                By,Jessica Bowie
                        


Details | Free verse | |

My Awakening dreams


Women come and go in my dreams,
Young, not so young and quite young,
But the trouble is,
They are formless,
Tempting, enticing, seductive.
The dreams make it difficult,
To see their eyes, teeth and lips,
What colour is their skin,
What size is their bosom.
They look at me
With the alluring-eyes
But I know quite well
They are there with their guiles.
Still I try to reach them
With my arms to environ.
They try to stop me with tight fists
But ready to receive me inside.

                   +++

July 31, 2005
Form: Free verse



Details | Free verse | |

Backfire

What’s the use of trying any longer?
Nothing comes out the way I want it to flow
Words perpetrate my every being
And I strain to get my temperament to slow
But my cognizance is reeling in a panic of waves
The voltage of emotion is overwhelming me
What is this journey impending to?
What is my purpose?
To obliterate or build?
I keep assurances only to splinter and shatter them
I melt into their regrets and apologies without looking back
Then I am slapped right back in the face
With my own waves of shame and qualm
I wish I was like you
I wish I could put a guise on and never show my face
I wish I could take a dagger and extinguish the sorrow
Destroy tomorrow
But it keeps coming back with twinges and pains!
I want to scream my way into your existence
I want to end all the overwrought thoughtlessness
I want to be lifted in your ease
To be beautiful and clever like you
The demon is me and I am foaming with misery
My horns are melting by your pertinacious confrontations
I can’t reply to the desolation of nothingness
I can’t make it all go away
I’m trapped! RELIEVE ME!
Cursed adrenaline rushes about me
My body is prickling and waterlogged in blackness
I swallow the poisons of my backwash
And back-fire every stab in the back


Details | Free verse | |

Ideas Trapped In An Inactive Mind

Ideas Trapped By An Inactive Mind

Your mind is hidden in darkness
Thoughts trapped in deep crevasses
Their screams echoes through deathly shadows
Attacked and strangled at their every move
The struggle against invisible shackles
Drawing blood as they fight their captor
Demons search for ideas ripping them apart
Stripped skin strewn across an evil world
A world created from depression and mania
Leaving the ideas disemboweled in the frenzied heat
Blood, skin and guts boil under the demon’s breath
Screams of torture and pain fill the void left by random thoughts
Still alive they choke on the stale sulfuric air
Waiting to die while hoping to be saved
A quick mind lights the darkness
Giving new life to near dead ideas
The strongest fight while the weakest wither and die
The rise through the darkness
Rising into the light they look back
They see the lost ideas dying beneath them
They care about what was lost
What ideas will never see the light of day
And they grieve as they come to light
And they will be told and retold
For that is what ideas are meant to be
Shared by the entire world not killed 
Murdered by an inactive mind


Details | Free verse | |

The Salted Leaf

Crystal sapphirine salted leaf,
The forlorn friend of aqua rose.
Memories of ages, only the leaf knows.
Bright blue tears of eternal grief.
The wedding bands confirm our love.
Passion, ardent affection for life.
I and Lenore forever my wife,
Beautiful as a pure white dove.
The eye of the rose reflects all,
You see the past in a single glance.
The aqua rose: Lenore, did me enhance.
Away she flew, to kingdom hall.
Why? Did she die; I do not know.
Answers in the blue crystal salt,
Sapphirine leaf will sorrow halt.
I eat the leaf for status quo,
My heartbeat quickens, then a smile.
Lenore, my wife doth call me hither.
Aqua rose begins to wither.
The saga must continue.

HGarvey Daniel Esquire


Details | Free verse | |

Thirst

One drop of tear from my eyes holds many words Accompanied by heartfelt sighs. It comes as sad as it could, Anytime, anywhere, anyhow it is sad in all ways. I thought much more of you Than you ever thought of me, In the breaking light of dawn, or in the night, You are the one that holds the key. It is to know that I've lost my place on this earth, That's the thing about pain it demands to be felt, It scares the *****out of me to be this lonely Because it seems catastrophic. I walk around with a giant hole in my heart all the time, I feel your absence every second of the day, Even when a river of tears courses through this body, The flame of love cannot be quenched.


Details | Free verse | |

Dracula castle

( I visited the palace of Dracula in the year 2003 while attending The World Congress of Poets)at Iasi, Romania. If anyone interested to view Dracula Castle, I have placed a photo on my photo blog)

Deep in the Carpathian Mountains Perched atop on a rocky peak Is the castle of prince Dracula of Romania But his way to rule was quite unique. He was a ruler, a researcher, a law-maker And law-breaker, a lover of a different kind. His preferred method of torture was impalement Hammering nails into one’s head, Hacking of the limbs, burning alive Cutting of noses and ears, Mutilation of sexual organs And last, not the least, boiling alive. Inhuman cruelty infamous in history Stake would be forced through the body Till it immerged from the mouth. Like a scientist he made research On to make it slow to die. Strange were the ways for the welfare of people And what a way to keep people wealthy Poor, vagrant, beggars, and the cripples Were invited for the feast in a great hall. After the feast, ordered to set fire on the hall. What a way to solve poverty and over-population! Dracula had a mistress, a fair one who drove him To distraction but ready to please this moody man. Once she told him that she was with a child Dracula had her examined for veracity of her claim. When told, she was not with a child he drew his knife Cutting her open from groin to the breasts What a strange way to verify the truth and honesty.
============================================== Date: 1-27-14 Form: Free Verse Dr. Ram Mehta Third Place Win Contest: Castles by Shadow Hamilton


Details | Free verse | |

A Winter Walk

I needed some time, some space to think
And it was either take a walk or drink
And since I knew drinking would solve nothing
I put on my shoes and I started walking

The wind blew the chilly air
Through my unkempt locks of hair,
But I hardly felt the biting cold,
Walking with memories warm in my soul

The street was dark, cold and silent
It was funny the places where my mind went
While I slowly walked across the blacktop road
No destination in mind where I would go

It's funny the things you will remember
I recall a day in mid-December
And how suddenly, nothing seemed the same
After that man at the door called my name

I followed him into a secluded office
Where he would tell me his diagnosis
And suddenly I felt my beating heart
But the rest of the world had just stopped

I felt a hand in mine get tighter
I don't think the room could have been quieter
I shook my head in total disbelief
Too numb to feel anything, even grief

The question asked, "What does this mean?"
But the answer didn't mean anything
My head too fuzzy, my thoughts too jumbled
I turned to my love to speak, but mumbled

I don't remember what else he said
Because of the swirling thoughts in my head
It took three days before I could even think
Which led me to tonight: walk or drink

So I walked and I thought and I truly remembered
Dreams of the past, love treasured forever
Friendship and laughter, sorrow and pain
As though I was reliving my life over again

Little things that I'd sorely taken for granted
Things that didn't happen the way that I planned it
Promises made and ones that were broken
Love that was shared, love still unspoken

The frosty air filled me with a sense of renewal
Inside my soul was fighting a duel
The angel, the devil, both battling demons
Inside of myself I fought to redeem them

I don't know who won the ethereal battle
And I'm not sure right now it even matters
Where once I believed everything for a reason
I'm finding that harder and harder to believe in


Details | Free verse | |

Healing a bleeding rose

A soul weeps in flesh for the pain I left behind.
 I am sorry for the pain,the tears, I left for you to bear. 
These healing words I send with a bumble bee to heal a bleeding rose. 
These napkin like words I pray can wipe your tears and snotty nose.
 I was young and naive,I cherished my pride instead of your heart . 
There the coldest winter did start. 
If it makes you happy I disposed of the mistress. 
Who faded in long lost memory of shadowed kisses.
 No,no,no I am sorry for writing that,
its a poets bold habit of honesty,
but in writing this I thought i should be honest and honest I shall be.I apologize for leaving your emotions suppressed,unknown and ostracized. 
Yes, I know the ocean swollen with your tears,the angels descended on a bloody battle field to  hear your cry.I hope you can summons them again and reconsider the report to the almighty farther. 
If I could write this apology in the eye of the sky I would,for my remorse to be seen , a once foolish human being .Your heart I didn't mean to decay. I apologize for the lies, cries,for making you eat sadly all those ice creams and soggy apple pies,from absorbing tears fallen from yours eyes. Left to wonder in the vastness of the universe alone. I am sorry also sorry for the smudged ink and some of the lines. I cried along with them, imaging your painful times.


Yours truly Elliott Bowe 
To:Simone Descartes


Details | Free verse | |

Without Me

Everything falls to pieces,
as the reality of my worthless existence
dawns on me.
So I crawl;
to that empty space
I call my mind.
To hide from the world
that wishes to
prick,
prattle,
and probe
until there is nothing left.
Except for me,
and my insecurities.
A endless assemblage
of dreams and regrets,
that have led me
to believe - 
THERE IS nothing left.
So as the last tear flows
I only hope,
tomorrow will be
a little less bleak,
Without Me.


Details | Free verse | |

Crying Red Tears

I hold it in
falling apart inside
close my door
walk up the familiar stairs
reach for my only friend
no questions asked
not a doubt in my mind
i tug at my wrist
let my arms Cry Red Tears 
full of pain desire hate
tape up the emotions
put away the fears
so i can hold it in 
and let my arms Cry Red Tears...


Details | Free verse | |

Pieces of Eternity (Seasons Finale)

Maybe it’s unacceptable 
Live a life capable of a true fable 
True friends never end 
But take you back to where it all began 
But hey misery gave us something to believe in 
Stress became a greater award as we achieved sin 
What could I say? Our savior died on a cross tough as pig skin 
Never once cried over the loss 
Forbidden fruit, Eden garden 
Excuse me, my lord, I beg your pardon 
And so what if these medics carry life in a carton 
But I ain’t trippin 
Simply because this is me until my dying day 
Please stop crying, you know I can’t stay 
I’m going to be the same until my dying day 
Over in that casket is where I’m trying to lay 
That’s right until my dying day 
True lost souls from the dark side 
Forever, we as mortals ride 
Peace is nothing, I fend for quiet time 
Rebels in riot lines 
Previous high school graduates 
Symbols of an adjective running toward fate 
True personality suffer the privilege of inmates 
How could you hesitate to ask 
There’s no stranger under this mask 
Lonely and unholy, who’s there to console me? 
I want to get away, forever restless 
You can see my similarities with the ocean 
I’m stress less 
Because this is me until my dying day 
Please stop crying, you know I can’t stay 
I’m going to be the same until my dying day 
Over in that casket is where I’m trying to lay 
My son, my friend 
We are but pieces of eternity 
Mesh on, mesh off 
Even at our best times we’re soft 
Who’s to say I’d regret my decision 
To lead a sinners life without God’s supervision 
On a one man mission 
And I know I don’t come around much 
Got my palms in reality 
Searching for something softer to touch 
Whisper in my ear, death makes me blush 
And Hell only flatters me 
One and one, through matter the winds scatter me 
I ain’t trippin, baby girl get off your knees 
You’re in the arms of a future me 
And I can’t see heaven from a distance 
Fire me over clouds like a piston 
Marching through blood 
But it’s all mud and water to Darkhouse 
Stand still let me mark my spouse 
Live my life as an outcast 
How could you even picture me at my last? 
Dear lord show some mercy on my followers 
Bless those that swallow dust to follow us 
No need to borrow sympathy 
Unforgiving sorrow made my enemies envy me 


Details | Free verse | |

All I Wish Is Peace

"I’ll never understand how people can go on and live
The miracle of finding the strength to forgive
To resurrect peace, to close up wounds so deep
they pierce souls beneath heart beats
To be a willful slave to a loving God’s commands
The key to a freedom that I’ll never understand." -Shad

I am not one for articulate words; Had words be tears, I would write for kings— But here I am, raw with restraint, As you tear our worlds apart. One day I had desired you here, To celebrate your creation far from compare; And the next I bid you gone, Anger tearing my words apart. Now, all I wish is peace… I cannot stand your creations lying to waste, At your expense…for their laments… Wishing only for peace… To replace lament, And replace all… Words— That I can never quite utter…
Feb 18, 2014


Details | Free verse | |

Useless Little Words



Useless little words
Why do you mean so much?
Why did you tear so many fragile hearts?
With the pull of your lines…
With the light YANK of your unfinished sentences…
Why did you do this to me, useless little word?
Did you really want to make me cry a thousand tears?
And make me look like a fool? 
A monster? 

Useless little words,
Why are you so unfeeling? 
Why has my heart been torn by your subtle existence on a page…
Or a text, or a message… or a simple ink blot…
Fighting with all your little ways
To get right under the skin…
Why do you tear open my very veins?
My very soul?

Useless little words,
There’s a fire waiting to be quenched,
But someone is always putting in the ammunition
So quick a spurt
SO QUICK A SPURT
That the tongue has its own cruel cold stoned heart
Waiting for the moment I shatter and fall apart
Why are you so fickle?
As deadly emotions trickle

Useless little words,
I’m on my way to silence again
Because you fool me every time
With your cruel, hell-laced intentions 
Why do I even bother?
To let them bounce off my body…
They always remain

Useless little words,
Have drilled a hole straight through
Words never spoken
But always…always used…
Less and less spoken
Less and less kind

Useless little words,
I only wanted them to matter
I only wanted you to understand
That you can drill in me tonight
But tomorrow, when the day shines
You’ll leave

But only for a little while
And then you’ll be back again
Beautiful little words!
How I can always depend on you! 
To return
Unlike…


Details | Free verse | |

Transparent

Standing
under
an unjust moon
unable
   to move
from this
lurking mood
   of alone

no shadow
   cast by
this vaporous
form
reflecting nothing
   nothing
but empty
heart drained and
dust
   dry


Details | Free verse | |

Remember what I taught you

A dedication to my grandpa, 
i love you and miss you,
Your legacy lives on within my heart


The sun can shine
So bright, it makes you blind
Fooling, deceiving.
Very misleading .
The world telling you it's a good day
With just a simple ray.
Penetrating your mind
Telling you to leave all that behind.
So you leave it … Searching for anything to find.
To fill that hole in your heart ...with something kind.
So you go for a stroll in a park
And see a dog with a playful bark.
As you step near
You start to grow in fear 
Foam in its mouth 
You notice your head dropping south
Chin down
And start to frown.
You realize it's not so sunny anymore
Rain pours
No more birds soar.
Drop to your knees
And freeze
Start to cry.
Then wonder why.
Why do I feel this way?
Looking for answers, you go to the bay.
Watching the storm come in, you hear someone say, 
"Remember what I taught you,
You have to be strong.
Find the right
In the wrong. 
Everything will be okay.
Some days will rain. 
Some days will shine,"
Looking around to see who it may be
You continue to listen to the voice from the sea,
"some days you need to stop everything
And pray.
The Good Lord will take it away.
I've always been your strength
Strong for you and yours sister both."
As you realize who it is 
You start to cry, from sadness…
And bliss.
"I know you miss me…
And I miss you too.
No need to cry, 
Oh Catelyn, oh me oh my. 
But just always know I'm here,
In heaven 
watching over you. 
If you ever need me.
You know where I'll be. 
Watching over you from the clouds.
No need to worry.
Don't stress so much.
Life happens.
It peaks
And it stinks..
Given , I wish I was down there to talk to you. 
But it's all in God's plan.
Everything will be for the better. 
Now I'm sorry I have to go,
Check on your sister and cousins you know
Whenever your feeling rough
Whenever life gets tough
Remember what I taught you. 
Rain may continue 
Life will happen in different Venues
But go dance in the rain
Let go of the pain. 
Enjoy the life God granted you
…it won't last forever.
Don't plan out the future 
God has his plan
Live his will out
Not yours
Remember your still a kid,
So smile and I love you Catie did"
Tears rushing down your face
Tears of joy or sorrow 
You don't really know.
Remembering what your grandfather taught you,
With his strength You stand up 
Something in your chest starts to bump
Your heart, it's whole
Alive
Beating once again.
Pain is gone 
And you live on.
Dancing in the rain
With only life to gain.


Details | Free verse | |

The Shifting Sands

The Shifting sands
Kingdoms of Dunes
Desolate sands
No life. Low tide
Landfalls now twixt mud and sand
And then the seals appear
Their sad calls staying in my memory

I walk the dunes
Why am I sad?
I’ve just returned
Alive and not wounded

The girl I left behind
A friend I thought
No commitment
No declaration of love

The enemy advanced
I was hard pressed
But while in deep despair
I thought this was my end
I realised then
I loved her

But when I came to her
She’d found another
she said “Just a one night drunken stand
So ashamed
Could I forgive?”
Logic says I should
I made no promise
Nor did she
My ego’s not so sure

More seals arrive
Floundering on the mud
They call to me and say
“Forgive her? What’s to forgive?
You had no right
You do not own her.
Go to her now and beg forgiveness,
Declare your love.”
I walk the dunes
Why am I sad?
I’ve just returned
Alive and not wounded

I go to her posthaste
To beg forgiveness
“What for” she cried
“Because I turned my back in wounded pride” I said
“I have no right to judge
Can you forgive me
I love you please take me to you heart.”
Oh Joy unbounded
She forgives me
And offers me her heart

Kingdoms of Dunes
Desolate sands
No life. Except us two Low tide
Landfalls now twixt mud and sand
And then the seals appear
Their sad calls staying in our memories
We walk the dunes
I am no longer sad I’ve returned
To meet my love







Details | Free verse | |

No Flowers

There are no flowers there...
just flies, and dust and sun
Where a child wanders
over dirt under calloused feet
under a blazing sun
on a barren land

there are no flowers
there are no trees

where hunger is the only companion
where a pool of dirty water is a lonely playground
where life drains out and sickness plays the only game

where no birds sing...
where the only sound are tears of the innocent

where a child alone, lays down
where there are no flowers
only thorns
for his grave






Submitted for "A Piece of Bread, Please" contest sponsorerd by Sami Al-khalili


Details | Free verse | |

The Meaning Of Humankind

The Meaning Of Humankind

Forever people look for a complicated word
Years, decades and centuries they search
One sad word that gives meaning to humankind
Poets have written pages looking for the word
Singers sing their songs trying to find just the right word
Writers tell stories about the search for the word
Not one poem, song or story can find the perfect word
The perfect combination of letters and sounds
No one can find the one word that describes humankind
The perfect word is there right before them
It has been for all the history of the spoken language
In Greek, Latin, English or Aramaic or Chinese it has one meaning
Five letters, three syllables work together to giving meaning to humankind
The word the poets, singers and writers have been searching for
That word is simply alive
A sad word because it always has a final moment, a moment of loss
Yet, a happy word because while we are alive
We live, we love, we learn and we experience life and who we are
Sad or happy “alive” is the meaning of humankind
Thank the gods for the happy moments yet do not fear the sad ones
For that it life
That is the meaning of being alive


Details | Free verse | |

City of Shadows

A lonesome boat in the harbor rocks insanity.
Big waves of the black sea roll across the white sands
that fade into darkness for eternity.
Far from the life giving drops of rain are predators
in the city of shadows.
Feelings from the last solem breezes blow.
As the evening sun fades slowly into the night,
the pavement glistens like cracked glass
from the earlier evening rain.
A lack of silence remains.
In the city of shadows,
screaming voices creep in the corner of your mind.
Visions of the garden where the flowers died.
The dark alley reveals the emptiness of peace within your soul,
and death reveals the cold, cold truth way beneath the black crumbled earth.
Slapped with a strike of lightning,
disrupting the fall of silence where secrets crawl to hide,
in the foxholes of one's mind.
In the city of shadows, bewildered minds tick with the time of the clock.
Breath by breath falls perfectly out of place,
and darkness opens a new gate.
Tunes of the violin slowly fade away.
A new awakening to blindness,
in the city of shadows.


Details | Free verse | |

in absolute darkness

Do you know what its like to be 
in absolute darkness?
I do. 
And I want to be back
on a foggy night
where winter doesn't fall too far
the only thing you can see 
is a distant street light
yellow and gold
glowing from the distance
the wet leaves that fell from the trees 
fill the night 
with a dewy smell
darkness. 
I turn the key
bright headlights
flood the road
one line, two lines, 
they all combine
into a white blur keeping me 
from crossing into the abyss
I could drive forever 
alone. 
I want to be gone again
back to my home.


Details | Free verse | |

Forbidden Love



Dear  Forbidden  Love 

I am here to say good-bye.
I know that we are through.
But I had this on my mind...
I wanted you to know that I still loved you even though time has passed.
I know I tried to forget about you, but real love doesn't fade that fast.

I missed you so much I can't explain it so I wont even try.
If there was a way I'd find it if it meant being by your side.
So why should I try and hide it?
My love for you can't ever die.
It can only grow stronger for you. 
This is true for a fact my love for you it is so deep that no man nor beast could understand it in the very least.

Our love was unbreakable.
It went beyond the unthinkable.
It went past the sun, moon, and stars.
But even so even it was lost at some point.

Our love was forbidden.
A heart breaker in itself.
Two star-crossed lovers with no one to reach out for help.
This is why I must say good-bye my forbidden love~ 
  


 


Details | Free verse | |

L. I. F. E. (Living In Fear Everywhere)

L iving 
I n
F ear
E verywhere

Just as we live and just as we die 
We laugh, kill and crucify
We are no more our brothers than we are ourselves 
We are the players 
With the tools and talent of the efficient demise 
Of war, famine and greed 
We do rise
 
Of the ever constant ricochet of freedom in our ears
As we wrap our fallen dead in a shroud of rights, laws and bills 
And continue to improve the technology, the precision 
The assurance of absolute destruction 

Buying death is easy
Dealing is easier 
Survival 
The career choice of many 
A thriving business with prestige and power 
Taking, wanting, hungry for the rush 
So young, so fragile 
Blood is running in the streets 
A seemingly endless fountain of misguided youth 
Falling, one after the other 
So far from the truth 

S  hocked 
A  ngry
D  epressed 

What good has ever come from a gun ?
Why kill ?
Why are we arming our children ?
Our future ?
Are you blind to the fact ?
Do you not hear the sound ?
Do you not see ? 
Do you not care ?
We are killing ourselves 
Stealing each others dreams 
Each others families 
Why pro-create ?
To produce, raise, and nurture more disposable targets ?
Is there another use for guns ? 
1 + 1 = 0
One bullet + one individual = one less reason to care 
We are waging war upon our brothers for money, love and survival 

G  ive 
U  s
N  o
S  anity

All to easy....................
Living In Fear Everywhere 


Eric (and sometimes not)


Details | Free verse | |

That Slow Green Burn

Fire at the edge of the world.
Eyes deep within the shoreless forest sea,
Witnesses of the most ancient ways
Watch smoke rising from the approaching front
Of treeless, naked land
Stripped bare by blind ambition,
Quietly await the end.

Five thousand acres a day
The last great garden drifts into the skies
To join the circling storms that once nourished it.

The fires lick and crawl their way
Into its green heart.

Fire is eating the soul of the world
Reducing the face of its childhood to ash;
- Behold here the sorrow of Eden's last relic
Becoming the charnel-house of Creation.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost, Without Hope

Everywhere I look, all I see is nothing A vast space full of water, the current pulling me out to nowhere Kicking and screaming I’m trying to stay above the wild waves But the crash and smash against me, the water filling my lungs I cannot breathe and I cannot float much longer I want so desperately to have something to cling to But yet I am alone in this fight, to keep my mind above To keep myself from sinking to the depths of depression A dark, endless pit that I will not be able to escape The burning anger above me And sweltering sadness beneath me Challenge me in my everyday To try and hold on to the thin lines of reality The lines that are blurring before my very eyes I do not know how much longer I can keep I want it all to end…but I do not want to end it all I am so tired…so very tired But sleep dances away from me, Like a young child on a play ground, sleep runs and hides The giggles of him I can hear, here and there But I cannot reach him He his beyond my capacities, beyond my boundaries And I’m losing this fight to stay above the water I feel like I’m drowning ‘ISN’T ANYONE THERE’ I cry And I weep, but honestly I really don’t know why Why I feel so trapped in this grey world With no escape and no reverence I am lost in the wild furls of my psychotic mind Where no one can find me, no one can help me…save me Alone and drowning I try to grasp onto the thin wisp of hope But it is false and was gone before it ever appeared I am lost, with nothing but the water and fire The darkness, and terror I have nothing to hold onto Yet I keep fighting, I keep fighting this losing battle But I do not know how much longer I will last


Details | Free verse | |

Overprotected Heart

Overprotected Heart

A broken heart
Pieces kept together by razor wire
Such pain
Wounds from the last moment I saw you
Did you know that your words had such power?
Did you know that my heart would fall apart?
No silk threads would seal the chasms
It frayed and tore with every word
Not a drop of blood was spilt
There was none left after your attack
The sharpness of the razor wire
Its shiny points wrapped around my heart
Stabbing into the gentle muscle
Drops of blood on the tip of every blade
They reminds me of your words
The hurt you caused
It stops others from getting in
Not giving them the chance to do what you did
My heart is protected from hurt
From you and your meanness
Protected from love and happiness
All because of you


Details | Free verse | |

PRIDE

Desolate,prideful,terrible and sick
People have created themselves a new brick
Sinful bricks have planted a wall
Wall has brought a major fall

Pride eyes are seen every where,
Hatred is blowing and flowing no care
Hardening their heart is enjoyable for them
Staring eyes is nothing but pride in them.


Details | Free verse | |

Chewing Glass

O' how thy eyes are set on me!
My trembling face turns from thee
Thy angelic hands brush my pain
The touch chills December through my veins
When you speak my spirit wisps
My days turn from stone to brass
But the night you shared a kiss
I was chewing glass.


Details | Free verse | |

Did you not Notice?

Did you not notice I was slippin,
                       cause you didnt catch my fall.
                        Did you not notice I had fallin 
                             cause you didnt help me up...
                                 so I stayed there for awhile.
                                 Did you not notice I was drowning,
                                   cause you didnt offer me your hand....
                                 so I sank to the bottom.
                               Did you not notice  I was dying,
                             cause you didnt try to revive me.
                            Did you not notice I was Dead,
                         Cause you werent at my Funeral.
                       Did you not notice I was in Hell,
                    When i would haunt you with my soul caught on fire...
                                   and you didnt put out the flames.
                           ... And im just Wondering how did you not notice?
                                                

                        By.Jessica Bowie


Details | Free verse | |

Silence journey

Silence journey

I walk in the rain 
Without cloak 
In silence I pace  
Gaze on the sky like an image 
Of reality yet vague …..
Is it just me or us? 

Seeking answer from gods
About life 
Is it a fantasy or reality?
A glimpse of Siddhartha smile 
There is a way…. 
Ah 
Its karma to play yet 
A must to  pay …..

If it’s a poem then am dreamin …. 
12/03/ 2012


Details | Free verse | |

steph

I can’t help but thinking of you.
don’t have to say a word just want to be with you,
I look at you, you make me smile. 
friends think I’m crazy, all I think is WOW,
I look at you, chills run down my spine,
always thought you were beautiful and fine,
life has changed since I saw you,
which makes me want to be with you, 
looking at you is more than a dream come true,
words can’t explain of how I feel about you.


Details | Free verse | |

RIPPLES


Today I had a thought 
as fleeting as truth
but harsher and harder to hold

for I recalled the blue heron 
I'd seen wading in the Nithe, 
the creature resilient in ripples,
the river silted by a summer squall,
moving, moving, moving
as beauty stood still, unchanged

There had been one moment
the bridge on which I'd stood
had seemed to sway a covenant

The memory mewled,
demanded permission to get comfortable
on a page or burrow below breast,
settle into being

Instead, I swept it away 
with all the cake crumbs and dust,
buried it in the wastebasket
where a lie was found 
amongst shreds of trust

The thought cooled there
like a bird in rough water




Details | Free verse | |

One Stitch at a Time

dedicated…
to this hurt
to this pain

until you
ask 
me
why?
I cannot explain

and I want
to tear my heart
OUT!
and show you
everything 
that I am..
not

the edges
frayed
tattered
because I let them
in
gave each of
them
the sharpest scissors

hoping for curled up edges
like
Christmas ribbon
instead 
I am unraveled
like your
favorite sweater

I want you to be 
angry…
I ruined your
hope
of perfection

just put me
in your keepsake 
box
with all the other
possibilities
the could-have-beens
the almost maybes

but
you offer 
me the most 
beautiful golden
thread..

fix yourself, you say

but I can’t sew
and I feel
useless
once 
again…

until 
you take my hand
in yours
and teach
me
..
.
One stitch 
at
A 
Time


Details | Free verse | |

TIME



If time heals all, what heals time?
For it cannot be changed, its burned into history, burned into the fabric of time like a scratch on a track.

Time can make us feel regret that we did not use it the best we could or it can make us rejoice remembering that good moment in time.

It is a fickle thing that most will not appreciate until it’s gone.

I myself have had more pain than good, but does that count as bad time as it made my character and is the reason I have this strength and insight on life. 

So I don’t believe in or good or bad moments in time, its all on how we look at it and use it going forward. 

The most important thing to remember and learn from the past is that we ALL make mistakes . .  but only a fool repeats them.

Yours Fraternally 

TIME


Details | Free verse | |

A Blade To Heart

Oceans speak it loud and clear
The skies whisper it in thy ear
All dreams fade into somewhat else
And thoughts of the Heavens melt
A cleft heart of thine to persevere
Another soul to make sincere
When all sanity has fell, anew,
The hearts austere when love is true
Shackles scar these wrists of mine
The rust infects thy cancerous shrine
Thy voice is music to a mind's suicide,
Thy touch is acid, thy eyes see dark
Like guiding lights in darkest nights,
Loneliness sensates a blade to heart.


Details | Free verse | |

new sensations harbor ill will toward the mind

New ambient light taking hold of that which was once darkened by time.
New thoughts eluding desires and all answers to the questions at hand.
Laminated emotions taking the places of the empty spaces inside the mind.
Feel the love from behind the reinforced glass? Didn’t think it was possible.
Now the age of reasoning comes into play, now is the time for deep thought.
The devil calls for pain, in waves that crash on this body like water on rock.
No visible damage but over time it wears it down to nothing, little by little.
Plunging into the deep end surrounding the mind and clouding the vision.
Breathing is impossible, gasping for air only brings water into the lungs.
This feels like dying. This feels like numbing. This feels better than living.


Details | Free verse | |

Darkness

Complete darkness
No sound at all
This is where you live
No one to talk to
The blackness, engulfing
Smothering the air out of you
In this vast void with lack of light
You are forced to believe
That you see a speck
A tiny green light
Way off in the distance
This blot of light brings so much hope
So many desires
You can hardly breath
Suddenly the light grows larger
You feel elated
Then FLASH
Complete darkness
No sound at all
Things are back
To the way they will always be


Details | Free verse | |

half way

on a blank canvas
i begin painting
as one builts 
a great big wall 
So high, 
trapped in myself 
Shut away from life's hurt 

Dreaming of greener pastures 
One with happiness 
Safe in my Dreams, 
An apparition 
of what life 
could offer 
Feeling unworthy 
of a place 
Left with cruel words 

Making one feel 
bad about myself, 
in the reflection 
upon the ripples 
a shattered illusion 
on the surface breaks 

Touched by 
my inner most desire, 
Like a child's
 first steps 
Happy when finding 
one's feet, 
Slowly learning 
to trust your feelings 
Smiling when they come 
back again 

climbing this wall nervously 
Walking to the summit, 
Dreaming of love 
A vision 
of happiness, 
Escaping my prison 

Staring off 
into the stars 
At ease 
with the distance, 
So close, 
yet so far


Details | Free verse | |

You Missed Me

At the glassy gate, I wait for you
adding cherry between breaths
adding robes to your soft name
ushering the syllables through my warm mouth
echoing like the sight of a star
on my heart, your name is woven and sewn
like the stitching in my baby blanket
and the baby hands that find your beating chest
I am bound to you
and you, to my gates
 
But then,
you see the blood on my posts
and then,
my eyes stern and welled,
fixed like the sun, you spin
as night hunkers over you
like a broad toothy uncle
pulling you aside, arms slung like sandbags
impressing you with fools gold
teaching you to gawk, painting me a circus
causing you not to see me,
hiding my heart beneath my chest
and this smooth skin, my red wine gates…
 
 And no matter how I call, the tracks will lay, the wheels will fall
 
I would cry but it’s too late… the station’s gone…
 
You missed me love,
you missed me…


Details | Free verse | |

An Unfair Ending (Edited for space limits)

His face, withered, gaunt
His eyes cloudy, filled with a haunting vacancy
His voice weak , shallow
Seldom spoken these last difficult days

His hair is white and thin
His skin, so delicate and discolored
The strength has left his fragile body
And he lies, waiting

Yet I remember the man who was my Father
In my youth, so tall and strong
His eyes a deep blue with a depth of the seas
Thick, wavy, black hair tousled about his head

He walked with an unaware arrogance
Never knowing that all eyes were upon him
This handsomest of men, beautiful, confident
No one could match his brilliance, his seductive air

Unconscious, innocent of the power he possessed
The command he held with peers, a leader of men
A bright star in the universe, a life spent searching for answers
Politics, Economics, Religion…his battlegrounds

Yet, with all his perfection
He remained kind and true to all
Generous, loving; never an unkind word
A light for all who knew him

But the cruelty of life is worse for some
His body wracked with an unforgiving disease
Seizing him, slowly at first…a tremor
Then completely, leaving him helpless

Dependent upon those who had worshipped his strength
Lying in his bed, languished, weak
Nearly impossible to eat, difficult to drink
Each day descending further into darkness

Life’s cruelest blow to one so special 
Chosen by angels as their brightest star
So blessed to have loved such a man
Still loved, but pitied for the terrible loss

For such men were never meant to suffer this fate
To fade each day, closer to oblivion
He would never have chosen this
Broken, suffering silently in stoic resignation

Pride now replaced with painful gratefulness
He tries to manage a smile
His rigid muscles fighting the instinct
For he spent his life smiling

But old age has given him no peace
No time to reflect on the legacy he leaves
He waits as life deals its unjust ending
For one who was so great, so good

I hold his cold, thin hand in mine
Holding back the tears that burn
I will remember him, the Father whom I have loved
I see him walk away, wavy black hair, a cute little wink

As he leaves this tired shell, worn, used up
Once again becoming the unbroken man
I see him strut again, his quick, bouncy steps
As he climbs the ladder to the heaven he has earned

I hear the trumpets of the angels
Welcoming their special creation
A man of compassion and ideals
My Father, My Daddy…How I will miss him


Details | Free verse | |

White Darkness

White Darkness

Here is a world where time stands still
And days are countless, years unreal.
Here is a world of snow and whiteness
Where nothing grows and things are forever.

I look upon a thick white sheet
That neither thickens or thins away.
The air is cold, yet it does not freeze
Ice won’t melt or carry over.

Walk as I may the blanket, no way is clear
The white world is round like your own.
Yet is has no seasons or reason to change
No escape I know of for now.

So things are dark and things are bright
Who said to be blind was sight dimmed?
The whiteness of a world like this
Leaves me breathless, still and done for.


Details | Free verse | |

To Disappear Again

I wish I could just disappear, more often than you realize. 
Go back into the invisibility, that once shielded me from the world. 
Quiet spoken, downcast eyes, throw away my tattered pride. 
And become so small, that when I finally speak - you wont hear me. 
I'll live in shadows and dress in shades, 
and my universe can change back to black and gray. 
And I'll do it so slowly no one will realize the difference. 
And when I bloomed out of my Darkness,
And people saw the light that danced in my eyes - they were surprised. 
But I think I'd like to take back that surprise, 
And make them forget they ever saw the cosmos at night. 
I don't want to be a color, nor even a shade, 
I don't want to be a song or a sound or a thought in your brain. 
I don't want you to see me like you have - I want to disappear again.


Details | Free verse | |

I Loved You

Love is like a river that runs and hides
For I will never be by your side and yet my heart still wants you
But I can't bring myself to say anything to you
I'm just glad that I knew of you
Why?, I ask you why? Why could I not have been with you when you felt afraid? 

I know you hear me calling out you name.
Do not be fooled by uncertain fame for it is lost faster then it is gained
Speak not of me if you will but please remember this...I loved you


Details | Free verse | |

Only Once

Darkness laid around us like a blanket
Consuming us in its womb
She was crying
I was quiet

Crickets chirped softly in the distance

Her face was buried in my chest
She was shaking like a small child
I felt numb
She was sorry

The moon looked down upon us

I thought it would be different
I thought I would be empowered
She thought it would be different
She thought she would be free

I rolled her softly over
I sat up to view the night
She curled up in a ball
Still wriggling with remorse

Patting her on the shoulder
I lit a cigarette


Details | Free verse | |

The Past Haunts Me

The past is what haunts me.
Its what kicks me down.
Its what follows me...
I used to get bullied at school, all the time.
And i have noticed, that it is slowly coming back..
And i find myself asking "Why me?"
I find myself wondering why it is coming back...
Im thinking "Will it ever end? Or just keep coming back to haunt me?"
I cant take this anymore,
It is killing me inside.
I feel like nothing.
I feel as if i am alone.
I feel as if i have nothing.
I feel as if no one cares.
No one, no one understands.
I feel as if im living in my past.
I cant take this anymore,
Its just to much..
I want to leave..
But i cant get myself to do it..
So i shall wait..
Until the day..
That i can leave..
And leave this world happy,
Without me..


Details | Free verse | |

Fragile

Tears running down her cheek
So many hurtful words
So many left unsaid
Eyes swollen with the agony of his memory.

Life:
A horrific nightmare
Feelings:
Dead to all
Heart:
Broken to pieces
She's fragile and ready to fall.

Eyes dripping with sadness
Her heart growing colder than ice
Out the window and into the night
Swearing the last tears were cried.

Life:
A horrific nightmare
Feelings:
Dead to all
Heart:
Broken to pieces
She's fragile and ready to fall.

Losing control of all emotions
Sanity slipping from her fingers
Wanting memories of him to leave
Wishing the pain would wash away.

Life:
A horrific nightmare
Feelings:
Dead to all
Heart:
Broken to pieces
She's fragile and ready to fall.


Details | Free verse | |

Emotions

Emotions to fill the vastness of a lake.
       I think of you drowning in that lake.
       I offer you my hand, and
  lacking the courage 
 of your convictions
 you say no.
 And you wallow 
 in your sorrow,
   and the banks overflow.


Details | Free verse | |

Hurt by Thoughts

Abusive words
Thoughts read aloud
A shot to my heart

They said:
I'm the problem in this world
I'm the rock in their shoe
I'm breaking them apart
I'm their problem
Maybe it's true

Lost in depression
Sicker than death
It hurts like it, too.

They said:
I'm the problem in this world
I'm the rock in their shoe
I'm breaking them apart
I'm their problem
Maybe it's true

Depression sinking deeper
My sanity gone
Lost control of myself

They said:
I'm the problem in this world
I'm the rock in their shoe
I'm breaking them apart
I'm their problem
Maybe it's true

Lost everything in life
Struggled for acceptance
Instead a stab in my back

All because they said:
I'm the problem in this world
I'm the rock in their shoe
I'm breaking them apart
I'm their problem
Maybe it's true.


Details | Free verse | |

In Response

In response 

To your worried heart

Mind, mouth and stomach

Your busy thoughts 

 

 


In response to your

Shaking hands and ill head

Your rightfully placed overreactions 

You're right in placing them…pacing then

 


In response to your love for me

Well I cannot ignore it 

So I blush and beg for it

Secretly…of course 

 

 


You are my everything and I will do anything 

To hush your fears 


Details | Free verse | |

asdfghjklsemicolon

“asdf.

asdfg.

asdfghjkl;.”

It makes no difference.

“Asdf.

Asdfg, hjkl;.

asdfghjkl;;lkjhgfdsa.”

It’s not working.

“Asdfg,

Asdfgh, ghjkl;,

asdfghjkl;;lkjgfdsaasdfghjkl;;lkjhgfdsa.”

Come on!

“Asdfgh,

Asdfghjkl;, ;lkjhgfdsa!

asdfghjkl;;lkjhgfdsaasdfghjkl;;lkjhgfdsaasdfghjkl;;lkjhgfdsaasdfghjkl;;lkjhgfdsa!”

It’s not working!

“Why won’t you listen to me?!”





It’s done.
It’s over.
I blew it.


Details | Free verse | |

Lamenting Spirit

Seemingly standing alone,
In the shadows of doubt and fear,
Lost, cold, forgotten,
Cold is the grasp of death that nears

Seeking a hand in darkness of solitude,
Wishing for nothing but a love,
Turned away, cast aside, borne not even a stray, lone thought,
Towering aloft, looked down upon from far above

Throned so high overhead, just as kings of old,
Glared down upon, a lowly tear forsaken so,
Caught within a trap, drowning, mists of sorrow,
A voice unheard, a voice deserted, only a voice in woe

Wandering such great, forlorn paths,
A derelict mind harshly beat, a mind that has since long been vacant,
Rove, this neglected child does,
One mind among so many, outcast, this dolor mind abeyant. 


Details | Free verse | |

The Chasm Of Depression And Death

The Chasm Of Depression And Death

Screams heard in the far off distance
Tales of pain and horror
Echoing through the night
They call for a hope that is never to come
Their calls fall on deaf ears of those who went before
The light from the distant blood red moon is dim in lost chasm
Unable to show what the night has hidden
Depression and thoughts of death fill the air
Young people die by their own hands
One useless suicide after another
Their futures destroyed while their screams go unanswered
Hope hides on the edge of the valley
Just out of reach and so far out of their dreams
It waits for someone to find it
Wanting to reach down to help
It starves from the lack of attention
Young people dying in a chasm of depression and death
Never giving life or hope a chance
Never looking to the heavens
Never finding what they should have seen all along
If only someone, somewhere would have said something
Made them look harder at the edge of the chasm
Maybe it could have saved just one life
Then another and another until the chasm closed
And no other young person would fall into its depths


Details | Free verse | |

In the Dark of the Strand

Marquees bright, and neon lights, where crowds line up for movie night
We're holding hands, we're in 'The Strand', red velvet carpets guide us in

Popcorn smokes, .. drinking cokes,...  cracking jokes with Bing and Hope
Lamour's along, in her sarong,... With luscious lips, and cigarettes, 
She fills ashtrays with smoking tips, and tosses guys like poker chips


         'Movietone'  intrudes with news, which puts us in somber mood
         Third-Reich goosesteps  march again,  ... an evil presence in the wind...


Cary Grant , (a news reporter),  loves his girl, and his typewriter
"His Girl Friday", plot is witty, sometimes crazy.  But Cary loves this ditzy lady.... 

William Powell and Mryna Loy..., Asta barks, and finds a toy, ...a ploy? a clue?,....
...an earring gold.  The mystery is clearly solved.--  A crimson sun, is rising cold!


        Movietone in black and white,... graphic scenes, where soldiers die


Another night, suspense on chart.  'Correspondent' ,  Joel McCrea. 
Saves Lorraine, and claims the Day.  BUY WAR BONDs !! They'll pave the way

Bogart, Bergman bring to light, a valiant flght , within their grasp
Airline ticket, in her hand, they must part, and do what's right, no questions asked

----

          It's movie night, but you aren't here, a troopship took you far from here
           Allied troops are moving tanks.  I wait for you..God give me strength




       I'm in the Strand, within the dark,  there's no one here to hold my hand

       I'm all alone...........I heard the news....................You left it all in Anzio




_____________________________________
For Contest Chopped III Sponsored by Craig Cornish
11/23/14


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Bruise

Emotionally pinched
bruises the mind
blinds the eye from seeing
internal scars still bleeding
denial of the worst kind
feelings left behind
alone and distraught
in shadows of black and gray
surrounded by emptiness
.
Heart in shreds
gloom and dread
torn apart thoughts
doors of communication closed
beyond reach in saving
numb in soul
crying inside for help
prisoner of pain and hurt
trapped in confinement
of misery.


Details | Free verse | |

Make Me Hate Your Face

I focus on things
that make me hate your face.
Maybe then the pain will fade.

I know deep inside
I care about your life,
but right now I just want to forget.

You don't understand,
never will,
how you've pierced my heart.

I wish I could say
it will just go away,
but the blade cut too deep.

I feel the blood,
it trickles down my chest,
and it draws me to my knees.

I fall to the floor,
pray it will all finish now,
maybe this pain will finally be undone.


Details | Free verse | |

Counting the Leaves

one...

a piece of scarlett flowing by
flirting with the threads on my arms

five...

breezes tied to their season, warmth running dry
canopies reddened with alarm

one hundred...

endless thoughts of winter's tide
her endless beauty and biting touch

five hundred...

winter's coronation has arrived
crowning the ground with white dust

one thousand...

one leaf left, a hanging army
whipping with wind, holding for life

one thousand one...

a brown corpse, dried and free,
falling, falling,
last tear from the tree.


Details | Free verse | |

I am Free to:

I am free to: Love, 
                  
                       Hope, 
                    
                          Endure, 
                    
                      Sing, 
                 
                        Dance,

                      Cry,

                         Laugh,

                     Grow,

                         Give up,

                     Never stop untill I achivemy goal's,

                                 Live life,
                      
                        Hate! 

               Have the will not to hate,

                 Never give up,

                            Go down the wrong path,

                  To choose the right one,

                        To worship you, Lord!



Details | Free verse | |

Burn it Away

Those bad memories
They burn so deep
It hurts so bad
Make them stop
Make the tears freeze and forget
All the pain I feel
All this regret revealed
Burn it away


Details | Free verse | |

VACANCY


I don't have filled spaces.
Nonexisting time lies to me,
making me feel as if I were not empty.
Space remains painfully unoccupied in me.
There is no prince
no poetry or sigh
that a sigh without cause is consequence of passion.
There is no romance or excitement.
Word or song.
Meaning or ignorance.
I don't have time, it's true,
for I am filled with the strange intensity of freedom and youth.
However, all the space of my soul I keep
like a ballroom with no ball.
. . . If someone shouted in me . . .
it would echo.

Patricia Evans


Details | Free verse | |

First date

First date


I spent the evening
wishing you would make the first move.
I marked your song
but listened from a safe distance.
 
The gap between us elongated 
like an escalator 
laying down its treads
with the handrail busy, trying playing catch–up.
 
Over dinner the distance between us grew wider.
But we carried on as if we were governed by some unwritten rule.
But like a fool, I held back 
least the evening might finish too soon.
 
I surveyed your face for that give away glance.
Waited patiently for that inner dance.
Hoping that it would surface.
But your light remained red
even though I was on amber.
 
So I stayed, quiet, still.
Smiling, nodding and agreeing.
Mirroring your every gesture.
Matching your every move.

 
I searched inwardly for a hint of salvation.
I searched outwardly for some possible intension.
I was hurting like a defeated soldier.
I want to know you before you get older.
 
I spent an evening
wishing I had made the first move.
I marked your song
but foolishly maintained a distance.


Details | Free verse | |

3 candles burn

A flame is so pretty, silent and gold
I'm scared and lonely exausted and cold
I've not much to say for I lack inspiration
I'm just lonely and weak in my sad desperation
Don't tell me you get it 
Don't sympathize 
Don't feed me your crap 
Don't tell me your lies
A flame is so pretty, silent and gold
I'm scared and lonely exausted and cold


Details | Free verse | |

The Truth Behind Hate

If Love is blind,
Hate is deaf.
Unable to hear optimism and open minds.
A barrier between reality and distortion.
Truth and Humbleness blocked by the brick wall of stupidity,
A world full of envy and strife,
Selective hearing,
Picking and pruning through the good,
Just to find the bad,
Pain = Hate.


Details | Free verse | |

Dream You'll Never Mention

Tell me
Have you ever had a dream
A dream where your own blood fell upon blue roses
And you fell through the ground as petals floated on the wind
Tangling in your hair
Red and blue rotting jewels 
The thick smell of old blood at the bottom of your own well
A dream where your heart felt the impact before the rest of you
And stopped for just a moment
Cold in your chest with the realization of death
And woke up
And then you cried
It didn’t change your life or the way you acted
It did not make you stop your closed door ritual 
Or throw your kit away
It scared you so bad, and yet
You never told another soul about your dream
Or what lies just beneath you tattered sleeves and ragged jeans
You want and do not want to be saved, for someone to know
Tell me
Have you ever lived a nightmare
You didn’t know how to escape? 


Details | Free verse | |

Jesse

The sun was blaring down 
That August afternoon
When Jesse came into the town 
Of Early Blossom Bloom
The sun had blistered up his skin
His shoes were worn and tired
The clothes he wore upon his back
Was all that he acquired

Jesse was a loner 
Traveled light and all alone
No family he could speak of
No place to call a home
For food and basic shelter
He would trick upon the street
For a twenty dollar bill 
His throat would be a treat

His body aged and weary 
From the life now forced to live
A new found way of living
No man had chose to give
The effort once put forth
Strength he no longer had
To earn an honest living
A concept he didn’t have

What would come of Jesse 
No trade to call his name
In life he loved so many men
Each one a different way
But love for him was just a fix
An action he would show
Not something that would stick around
And nourish his inner soul

He travels to the city 
In hopes to find a friend
One last fool to take
Before giving up his sin
But in this town 
There was no one
To cater Jesse’s ways
No place for him to go and stay
Or a simple bed to lay

He sat down on the park bench
As dusk filled up the sky
Weary from the journey made
In hunger he did cry
In life he played a hell of a dance
No partner came to stay
Deep down afraid 
The city streets
Would be his home to stay

In Jesse’s heart was anger
For the people passed him by
Not one kind word was spoke to him
He sat alone and cried
His prayers of some compassion
Were seemingly unheard
This was life for him now
Banished from the world

He died that night a lonely man
On the park bench all alone
Laid to rest in a lonely grave
The place he now calls home
The life and times of Jesse
Now just a memory 
He was a man most would forget
For shame of his company

Think back on the life and times
That Jesse brought to earth
Would you have shown compassion?
If you seen him all alone
Who is to say who is to judge
For a life lived on the streets
For Jesse it was all he knew
And all he could ever be


Details | Free verse | |

Epiphany

Well it's sad to say, that this ugly duckling
never grew into anything more than an ugly duck


Details | Free verse | |

Elevators: 5 Horsemen

Part 1

Onion

the delicacy of friendship

I found you in the flowers
Standing tall we become one
Looking down from gangly towers
Squash, you burn, you pillage, son.

Follow me you say in tongues
Thy shallow mind reveal me tell
Whisper lies clean load the guns
I feel the burn I rot in hell

Friend folly menacing the liar
I loathe this coffin how it leaks
Dear foe you raped me set on fire
The onion peal itself and weeps

Part 2

Traitor

dear monkey boy

Older eyes eat themselves,
glance and kill the other
Unified in the dance,
they steer the musty rudder.

Pained and sweeter deeper wells,
poised buckets drunk with water.
Singled out the one that dried,
handed weights to pull him under.

Wiser times capture the mind,
death justifies dishonor.
Knife slice neat through the devil's back,
who stares blank and milks the udder.

Part 3

Tempest

patron saint

Inside this box
Goodbye tempestuous fall
My puppet of steel coiled thread
Smashed buttons and twisted dread,
Alarm these doors, and
Escape this delusive bunker bed

Stamp the spiders
Thief, vulture of the deflection
The mocking patron of the sinners
Erase this affliction
Relating inward at the reflection

Rise you fool

Part 4

Phoenix

i love you

close the grip
cinched hematic grip
drenched, clawing
seeking the sheave
becoming the counterweight

i absorb, now
extracting the heat
rise like a phoenix
away to be gone to be free
fix me! i have fixed me

i am alive and i love you

Part 5

Aye, Damager

Abolish her state of disrepair
Scattered, spattered drippy thoughts
All around this box of soused leaves
Soak, ferment in the faith of our love

I can't fix this, you know
I loathe this misunderstanding
Of what I am speaking, projecting
To me, Aye Damager, to you

This devil in me
turned and twisted
A wrecked elevator in rejection
Years locked painfully aware

...


Details | Free verse | |

Wrists

The sharp edge 
catches the light on my
wrist like a bangle that was 
meant to be there

The blade has teeth but
doesn't smile
it just knows, it just understands
me
and my shaking fingers

like a servant 
it will do as I ask
like a slave
there is no choice
like a friend 
it loves me more than others
who find themselves
on the opposite side
of my locked
bathroom door

And now I call, now I let fall
all of the change
I would never see come to pass
I hold tight to the razor edge
and bury it through my vanishing skin
I can't win, but I will be here
fighting back the world
with a leaking heart

Which spills off my arms...
onto a desensitized, white floor

This is my door, my way
my red choice forming pools
around my fallen, slumped hands

I just want to be understood
I just want to show
all this color within

And you can have it now
I give you all of me
colorless and empty

Since now I finally make it right
I've finally saved 
my
life...


Details | Free verse | |

Reflective Surface

Slowly, the hours drag along
As I sit in quiet contemplation
On the horizon sits the dawn
Waiting with measured patience

My thoughts revolve around you
Almost as if I were a satellite
And just like sun, you don't seem to have a clue
That your warm rays bring me to life

And just like the moon
Whose domain is the ocean
Under the command of you
Is the tide of my emotion

It's my entire being that aches
For you to just want me
You don't know how much restraint it takes
To hold it all in and conduct myself calmly
I'm almost too affected by you
But I'll never speak the words as proof
So please do not ask


Details | Free verse | |

Agonizing Love

Sharp Pains in my chest
a fire started in my throat
the sting of torment inmy eyes
a weary feeling in my heart

those last few words
that horrid look
the bitter sound of your voice
is torture to my ears

a hammer to my heart
a bullet to the brain
can someone please stop him
from causing me this pain?

I promise to never do this again
if I knew that this would happen
it never would have started
I never would have loved you.

I can't hold up any longer
I'm falling out of love.
is this how heartbreak feels?
it hurts...
I'll never love again.


Details | Free verse | |

Note to Self:

Don't cry,
It won't do any good.
Stop thinking of him,
The pain will only get worse.
Try not to remember,
You'll only hurt more.
Don't think of the way your hand fit into his perfectly,
Don't remember the way his eyes twinkled when he was happy.
Forget how he would get angry at whoever made you cry,
Forget his awesome smile, his warm hugs.
Shy away from his name,
Push him into the depths of your mind.
Move on, stop wallowing in self-pity.
It's not like you were going to be together forever.
Even if you thought you would be
Just forget all the days you spent together,
The amazing dates you had not so long ago.
Face it; he's not coming back.
Stand up straight, and walk forward.
Be brave.


Details | Free verse | |

The Cancer

I've watched her vanish and dietirate into withering roses.

The pain that takes over her body is spreading fast and furious,

and only weakens her!

How can she bring so much light into a room of darkend souls, with her smile,

When she has only those two weeks to remain?

Why her a mother and new bride?

She doesnt want to miss a thing in her young boys lifes.

But... she already knows how it will be and how it will come.

Six days, six days she had before the death withen her took 

one last breath, and she vanished into the atmosphere and left.


Details | Free verse | |

Hear Me Cry

Before I die
Hear me cry
Sometimes it seems
He knows my needs
At times it feels
Like this is real
Most times at night
He's out of sight
During the day
The same way
With each new lie
I die inside


Details | Free verse | |

A Tear

The first tear falls...
It beholds a vision
Of two lovers dancing-
A soldier and his 
Perfect lady.
The following tears
Fall like raindrops
That grace her skin 
And invigorate her soul
With poetic words,
All slowly relieving her 
Of troubles that 
Weigh on her mind.
She writes these words
As the tears saturate 
The pages.
I'd love to 
Read her words or 
Catch her tears,
But I wish she would smile.


Dedicated to my best friend, 
  Amanda Straub
 ( 7/23 Happy Anniversary )


Details | Free verse | |

Another

People ask me why I wear black
And bitterly I shall snap back
Lack of color helps me conceal
How it is I truly feel
A colorless life, harsh situations
But no fear of implications
There is no color, can be no blame
I can hide in the dark, free from shame
Colors only distract attention
From the reality, the pure intention
I am broken, I am insane
I feel a never ending pain
Now I ask you, go away
So I can cry another day
Another day of hurt and sorrow
An endless day, awaits tomorrow


Details | Free verse | |

"no wait...I can explain"

A girl
Leads an eager man to a cab beyond the door of drunken rants and soaked 
sorrows.
His lucky day it seems....his lucky day.
A kiss she lends with no resistance distracts them from the headlights that 
follow in the distance.
They arrive....

A man
Once oblivious to her ways watches as they stumble.
He knows now the answer of his questions....He had hoped them different.
Vengeance rules him.
He follows....

A couple.
Fumble with keys amid  passion and desire.
The door opens and she leads to a bed secretly shared with another.
His lucky day!
"what was that sound?" 

A cigarette
Burns slowly in the corner.
A man, a weapon, a hateful heart.
She reasons.
He tries to explain.
He fires.....



Details | Free verse | |

Shadowed

A shadowed cloud drops upon this day

Here, it comes to haunt our hearts

But do not falter at it's persistence

And wipe away your tears

For on this gloomy day we shall smile

Smile for what was there instead,

instead of crying for what is gone.

To each his own, but hold a friend

For in the day of the shadowed cloud,

You will have someone to lean on

And never be alone-for surely,

Surely the cloud will return

But thus your faithful friend is near


Details | Free verse | |

Altruistic Ponderings

I wish someone would explain
To me how we can spend
Billions of tax dollars 
On space exploration
When we can’t even figure
Out how to erase hunger
And poverty.

Who sets our priorities anyway?

Could someone please tell me
How it is we have the research dollars
Dedicated solely to the detriment
And destruction of whole cultures
But we’ve no way of curing
AIDS, Cancer, or the common cold?

Who’s in charge here?

Can anyone give me the reason
Why society insists on medical advances
In plastic surgery while so many
Still can’t afford basic healthcare
And die because of it?

Where is our leader?

How is it that we can find Jupiter,
Study its molecular structure,
But still can’t find an answer
For alternative fuel sources?

Is everyone sleeping?

While we continue to battle
For world-wide sovereignty,
Our own people collapse.

What happened to integrity?

Is there hope
For the next seven generations?

God, I hope so. 


Details | Free verse | |

Sepia Photogragh of a Redwood Stump

 The human spirit needs places where
nature has not been rearranged
by the hand of man
Author Unknown

Sepia Photograph of a Redwood Stump 

A metal rail now mocks the space
where a massive tree once rose
two hundred feet.  And there’s a long
 stairway, and a sign, and a doorway
that make up ‘The Stump Hotel.’ 

At first glance, this roadside attraction (c. 1910)
is more reminiscent of an amputee
whose prosthesis could never recapture
the living limb, or a whisper of the spark within. 

Think of the many tourists who stood
here on this altered stump.  Did even one
look up to see its phantom trunk
 rising to the moon?
Suzanne Delaney

http://cathedralgrove.eu/pictures/05-7-03.jpg


Details | Free verse | |

At Plaza Square

At “Plaza" square  
Where sugary stars kindle for the evening,  
A forgetting child wake up from the nap, 
Weeping over, dull night where the time flee  
as water drains into along distance-

Long evening, tossing transparent spirit 
By light clouds, drizzle on sad memory,
I wasn't ready. Were memories dragging me
 In four directions .I can’t shape my self 
With all these colorful faces. I can’t shape
My heart with all emptiness I carry.
 
I walked like a wildcat, dense round,
Didn't know what to do among all
Glittering shadows floating through the air 
Till found my fingers ticking on the marble table,
Looking for cigarettes and dying to do something 
Ridiculous, dancing around fire at square maybe, 
But I was thinking of you.

Sadness grows rapidly such as
Bud on a branch in April 
An arm and a leg, and leaf, leaf.
From a yellow fruit, to water, to cloud 
Floating in the air then falls as a stone 
On a forgetting child where her tongue
Of wood, heart a pane of ice and feet soaked
So deep in the cold "Plaza"square.




Details | Free verse | |

Heroin Hero

  Alone; as you lie on your bed
The stars brighten, serene
Such an ecstatically lovely scene
While these visions float in your head
Imagining hues of purple: divisions of colorful red
Teardrop sparks sprinkle the room
All around in sweetness croon
The words unheard, not said.
   Beauty beheld in radiant eyes
In you resides the strength of Achilles
Though at war within your smile is silly
All and sundry cries
A child unknown, underlies
This babe: birthed in the lion’s den
Whimpering song of saddened sin
Precious glowing guise.
   A moments life on a dealers rate
Mommy’s whoring liquid lance
Living within your secret trance
Ungodly was to procreate
Yet yours is to a tempted fate
To feel, to float, to steal a scream
A life conceived within a dream
With this are you given another date.
   Heaven awaits sweet heroin hero
Innocent babe with your precious grin
What you have now is only ten
Seconds counted backwards to zero
Alone to dwell in your place of limbo
A pasture for you, a bed of clouds
One more broken breath allowed
Goodbye sweet heroin hero.


   BY: DARREN J McMURRAY
       January 21,2008


Details | Free verse | |

Dream Me In Black And White

Color me pretty
The way that you see me but not
The way I see myself

Wash me pure
The way you look at me
With eyes of unconditional love
You overlook my indiscretions
Judgment you never pass
Acceptance is all you offer
You make me a better me

Dream me in black and white
Like old time photographs
Faded
Torn edges
Jagged with time
To preserve the image that you hold of me

Paint me in red
The sweet blood that I left behind
Etching my name in the grain of eternity
So as to never be forgotten

Burn me into ashes
Let me dance on the winds of tomorrow
To feel the freedom
The release from my personal hell
As I soar across the sky of time


Details | Free verse | |

-Bittersweet-

I was naive to believe you'd always love me
Living in my dreams until you stabbed me with reality
Your dagger's still lodged in my heart
Every now and again, for your amusement
your words twist it ever so slowly
Tear's of blood trickle down my breast
Pain is unbearable, leaving me immobile and screwed
Turning my mind bitter and mean
You were nothing but a dream
A fantasy that I thought I could hold onto
For a split second, I let emotions take over
Spinning me in every direction
Should of awoken before my life had no meaning
With no one to love me, and no one that cared
We both know now I'll never be what you need.


Details | Free verse | |

NO PEACE

Crying into my pillow each night
Tears for a sorrow that burns like an acid
Eating it’s way through my senses..through my soul.
The pain sears through me like burning coals
No peace.

Hard to get my mind clear and rational
To put those things into perspective..
Or so I am told by well-meaning others who do not know,
The suffering of my existence; my inability to cope
No peace.

My head throbs in almost a familiar rhythm
A melody of self-pity, for regret, for salvation
And the tears, still flowing, now echoed with muffled sobs
For the agony is nearly more than I can withstand
No Peace.

I pray to a God I do not know, nor care to 
But no one else is there to listen to my pleas for comfort
To make right all those mistakes
As there are so many choices and I haven made the wrong ones
No Peace

So the God I do not acknowledge, lies silent in the stillness
And the burning within begins to subside
As grateful sleep falls upon me at last
Until another night comes, and the thoughts begin again
No Peace.


Details | Free verse | |

For One Moment

For One Moment

An aging actress
Standing on the stage
Her legs are withered and weak
Her looks have disappeared with age
She has played a thousand roles
Harlot, mother, daughter and nun
She played them all
She became them all
Now, she recites lines from her favorite play
But there is no applause
There are no fans in the empty room
She stands alone
Unloved and unremembered
One last line
The curtain will fall on her performance
She has become just a footnote
Someone just mentioned theatre classes
If even then
But standing on a stage in an empty theatre
For that moment she is a star


Details | Free verse | |

The Scar

      
     
           
 They told me..forget it..! 
 They confused me.. 
 They ordered me... 
 "Control your thoughts.."  

 Whenever I see flowers...
 My heart leaps with joy..
 But when I reach near... 
 They wither.............  

 Whenever I see babies... 
 My heart leaps with joy.. 
 But when I reach near... 
 They cry....... 
 
Whenever I look in mirror, 
It frightens me......... 
 THE SCAR ! 
  


Details | Free verse | |

shadows return

one  looks
in the mirror
missing something
my shadow
a true 
love dead

would go 
to hell and back
to find my love
looking back 
my reflection
a ghost 
of who i am

have you taken 
my soul
like a vampire 
you drained me
everything is night
you sucked 
the life of me

grey expressionless
a fake smile
looking back at me
in the mirror 
my reflection
slowly one's 
soul returns

my future looking
in a crystal ball
the cavity 
of my skull
lost in a reflection
awaiting
 my shadows return
looking purely 
for love

~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Details | Free verse | |

Lacrimae Rerum

It is a house
That was once a home.
Now with its eyes boarded up,
It has lost its heartbeat.

No longer does he hear
Her faltering fumbling with the key
When he has to visit.
Guilty memories are buried deep
Within him,just like his mother.

His sister tearfully packed the boxes,
Precious few treasures
Consigned to cheap oblivion.

Soon will arrive the house clearance people,
The necessary hyenas of a crowded modern life,
To leave no trace of her story
Save the little blot
Burned brown 
On the third step of the stairs.


Details | Free verse | |

Losing You

Liquid tears
fallen rain
down my face
emotional droplets
caressing skin
bittersweet hearts
cracked in half
drowning passions
in a sea of blue
floating away
stranded feelings
oceans streaming
soaking sand
dissolving dreams
crushing hope
into pieces
of losing you.


Details | Free verse | |

Mirror

Pain is etched into your eyes
And it haunts me deep into my core
I wish so much to relieve you of your pain
But I must first relieve my own
But to do so I need to understand why I feel this way
Why I hurt so much 
Like I’ve been gut punched
Eyes flicker to me then away
You can’t stand the sight of my scars
The one’s I forced my hand to make
But you have to live with them 
You have to see the ugly
The pain
The unwanted mistake standing in front of you
You have to accept it but you can’t
Because I am you
And you are me


Details | Free verse | |

Wind for my sails

Waking up next to you,
holding your hand,
touching your cheek,
seeing your smile,
all of these are
wind for my sails.

When we part
only memories
or calls or texts
are able to create any
wind for my sails.

I know God
gives strength
to those who ask
and I have, but,
I still look to you for
wind for my sails.

Why do I, I don't know,
He wants me to look
to Him alone for help
and I'm trying to, but,
our soul ships
are still tethered
and provide each other
wind for our sails...

I pray He allows us
to sail in the same waters
for some time to come,
His Will be done.

10/07/12


Details | Free verse | |

Is Death such a bad thing?

Is death such a bad thing?
Its the end of all the pain and suffering,
If you could see the end of all your tears,
Death is not so bad, But I cant think clear.
Is death such a bad thing?
It would stop all the pain of a broken heart,
It would be an end of all the bad things,
Of not knowing what to do, or where to start.
Is death such a bad thing?
I'm not quite sure,
I think I would just stop breathing,
For all my sadness to end death is a cure.  
Is death such a bad thing?
When it keeps your best friend,
When all they had left,
Was endless suffering.
Is death such a bad thing?
Where loneliness would be at bay,
Death is not so bad you see,
It took all the bad things away.


Details | Free verse | |

tainted

tainted
the way you see me
the way I believe 
me
to be

never sure
in this swirling
confusion
you call
love
and I call
pity

the way you
care
for me..
take 
care 
of me

giving 
you..
up for
me and
i will 
always
be 
tainted

and you
love..
to see me 
cry
real tears
not the
fake 
ones on our
wedding
day
tears
but the ones
tinted
blue
out of 
saddened 
despair

for you it’s
all the
proof
you 
need…

that I am
still
tainted


Details | Free verse | |

Artificial Love Song

I wrote a pretty love song
filled with lullabies
and starry eyes
and fingers intertwined.

Drunk with love
and forgetting my name
nothings the same
and my hearts all aflutter.

Memories of sleepless nights
soft pink lips
and fingertips
cause me to lose my place

Your hand on my cheek
lips on necks
passionate sex
and embraces so dear

Such a pretty love song
filled with memories
and sweetest dreams
If only it were real.


Details | Free verse | |

If He Only Knew

She thinks about him constantly
Sometimes, more than she wants to
Her thoughts get carried away
A life that only exists in her dreams
Memories of times they once shared
Days when they talked for hours on end
Through good times and bad
She longs for those times again
Distance has made life difficult
They both have tried to move on
He seems to have found someone new
But for her, no one compares
Her heart aches when hope fails
Times passes without a word
The days seem longer now
Sometimes, she can’t even sleep
She doesn’t understand 
Where is this man she once knew?
She fell in love with him long ago
Their fate seems twisted by distance
Each day brings renewed hope
Her heart still open to love
Hoping her pain will lessen
Destiny still in her dreams
If only he knew

Copyright © 2006   Shari E Davis


Details | Free verse | |

What they see

I wonder what they see...
When they look down at me...
I wonder do they know I feel...
That my emptiness is real.

I wonder if when I die...
Will the tears be real that they cry..?
I wonder if they know I cared...
I trampled my own heart better they faired.

I wonder if they knew the beatings 
were so they would have a dad...
Or that I loved them even when I got mad...
I wonder if they know I prayed...
As lifelessly my body laid.

I wonder if they will listen as the doctors say...
We had to keep her confidentiality to her dyeing day...
I wonder if they know I lived for them out of love...
I wonder if they'll realize I see those that live with god above...
He holds my hand when seizures come and take hold...
Afraid to die knowing to them, they felt I was oh so cold.


Details | Free verse | |

Brotherly Love

Brothers shall be loved 
I am my brothers keeper 
the love of brothers is real. 
God loves the brothers,
as well as all people.
Life of love 
brings brothers together. 
Togetherness is 
authority of love 
as life is toword the
love of brotherly bliss


Details | Free verse | |

game over

Heavier still, the flower wilts. 
Losing petals faster and faster.
The sweet smell has turned putrid.
Remember not the last dying breath.
Rather, remember the first one.
Gasping for air with new lungs.
When reading this, read deep.
Peer between the lines and letters.
See what is truly there, hidden inside.
The truth within the lies.
The light within the dark.
The sadness within the smiles.
It is all a pastime. It is all a game.
A game you shall lose.


Details | Free verse | |

PestAside

How do words
change
the science of
you
to me?
My heart deems you
know
but you beg me
go.
Anyway.


Details | Free verse | |

Vices

Powder dreams and acid queens
Snow white bliss and razor 
blades
Rails so thick your heart will 
bleed
Find your fix so you’ll succeed 
Uppers, downers, sweet cocaine
Every demon has a name
All that matters is the fight
To stay alive and in the light
It hurts so bad right through the 
core
You fear two words and that’s 
coke whore
Cut so deep to feel alive
With every shot you build your 
pride
The fiery rush and burning lust
Nothing else matters f*** their 
trust
A slip, a fall is all it takes
To see you land back on your 
face
The heart that breaks can’t take 
no more
Your soul is gone thrown on the 
floor
The pills you pop the smack you 
shoot
The crack you cook the lines 
you toot
The midnight toke that liquid 
courage
That blissful coke won’t be 
discouraged
Rapping, tapping on your door 
Claiming your body take some 
more
A stressful day a slip from grace
A couple more makes my heart 
race
The walls cave in two worlds 
collide
I wait in horror as my heart dies
A crash of sound a rush of red
Crimson tears are filled with 
dread
The sirens fade and fall away
Too late for fate this ends today


Details | Free verse | |

Invisible

I’m invisible to you.
I’m invisible to everyone
I’m here but I’m not
People see me but they don’t
They know me but they don’t
I am not what I seem but 
You nor anybody else knows that
I am invisible
What you see is not me
I am invisible
What you see is an imposter
Costumed up for your own importance
Who I am is invisible to everyone
But you don’t care
I am invisible


Details | Free verse | |

Sad Clown

I find myself having to act 
onstage, spotlight trained and fixed
The Sad Clown 
Laughing on the outside 
Crying on the inside 
Lying, pretending, dishonest 
its all one big game
customer asks "How are you today?"
Lie: "Good"
True feelings submerged 
only 10% revealed above water 
until i get home @ night 
then the Sad Clown is exposed in the darkness


Details | Free verse | |

Yours

I understand
the need for redemption
when all they do is ask about me
and the phone company has never
even heard your voice.

The scar on your leg
hasn't yet faded from our accident
four years ago (you study those
scars every day, as if searching
for blame)

and you find it

buried beneath cobwebs of
false hope and deflected
stories of the life you had
and the life you have…
I can do no right
here, within the 
wish-I-was.

If I were stronger maybe
or you less so,
I’d bandage your wounds 
and rock you to sleep
but you are motion-sick
and healing just fine
without me.

How long before the
questions subside?
Will you answer in the
voice of pride, or reason?
Six years’ fallacy, or
merely unfortunate?

My legs are torn too,
but I don't wear shorts in the summertime
(I never tan anyway)
and I never said I was beautiful.


Details | Free verse | |

Autism

O, I love my dear boy
So dearly and so blindly
I will give him my blood
And life if God permits so

He's so weak and sick
So pallid and so tender
But I know he's an umbrella of snow
In the wide-brimmed form

A rhyme, a loft 
Almost in the spelling of my own world.



Details | Free verse | |

I Hate...

The collision of my feelings,
And the confrontation of words,
The lies,
All the lies…
Hatred, hate, all the hate,
I hate…

Drown in my pain,
Until you suffocate,
And free yourself from me,
To free me,
I hate…

A million words burn in me,
A thousand screams call for freedom,
For salvation,
But my soul is abandoned
In the void,
I hate…

Let me fade away,
Let me turn into black,
Let me dissolve into nothing,
To free me from myself,
I hate…

Fear,
Free my fearful heart,
And take me away,
Anyone…
Let these words stop:
“I hate.”

Break the chain of eternity,
Kill the immortality of my torment,
Let my blood flow in my veins,
And let the air circulate
In and out of my body,
I hate…

I hate…
You…and you,
I hate life,
I hate me,
I hate…
Everything,
Hate, hate, hate,

“Hate , hate , hate”
I woke up saying,
With the letters,
“H” “A” “T” “E”
Sliding between my lips,

I cried loudly,
For I felt it,
I felt the hate,
Conceal all my feelings;
I felt it make me grab a knife…
I stabbed myself!
I stabbed my heart…it made me stab myself…
Just to free itself from me,
And to free me,
Forever…  


 



Details | Free verse | |

I Hate Her

I hate her.
She isn't that ugly
And she has enough friends,
But i still hate her.

I hate her.
Her mind,
Twisting thoughts into illusions.
Illusions folding into reality,
All to escape herself.

I hate her.
All of her problems
She projects onto others
In the vain hope
That someone will wave their wand
And save her
From her fairytale nightmare.

I hate her.
All of her weird habits
And sudden depression
The way she cries about
The smallest thing
Cutting with her words.

I hate her,
This girl i see in the mirror.


Details | Free verse | |

The house eaters

1.
My grapefruit tanned
toothpicks
bow above
the five-day flattened
spot
in an olive shag carpet
tracing grandpa Leo's 
blueprint,
with one encapsulated
toe –
this is the femur, this is
the head,
this is the fist, the ring
finger, the soul.
I search for any blunt
white quivering slivers
of Caroline's purported
fly fetuses.

2.
Huddling behind the
corpse
of an old hospital bed,
a framed photo 
smoke browned and
wearing my toddler face,
watches
his children choke
hushed, broken
sentences

this will be yours, my
plate, separate the
holiday china…

an enigmatic language
that hovers in
smoke stretched rings
to wilt
upon the hallway
bulb.

3.
I am left
the ceramic cygnet,
and an ivory carved 
dromedary.

These artifacts
plucked
from his porcelain
menagerie
that I decipher 
through dust fingerprints
for
one small inheritance of
a memory.

4.
Tomorrow,
Aunt Rose
puts price
to his bibelots,
the olive shag carpet,
even cousin Amy's 
plastic horse,
who was accidentally
left to pasture on an 
afghan.

A silver plated glass cage
image of her past,

she says she will whittle
all of him,
from the
wooden
house 
bones.



Details | Free verse | |

Story

Things weren't suppose to end this way
They weren't suppose to end at all
I never planned a goodbye with you
You were suppose to stay here with me
But as each day rolls on
I come to see
That that story
(The one I invented)
(The one I hoped)
Will never come to be
And even though
you're with her
And not with me
It makes me happy to know
That you and her were meant to be


Details | Free verse | |

Missing You

One day out.
Still crying to sleep,
All because I’m missing you,
And your gaze.
I’m entranced by you.
My mind whirls about your face,
And you’re not even around.
The smallest thing that reminds me of you,
Triggers the tear ducts to fill.
It hurts to look at the pictures,
Of us.
Because I know that I won’t see you for awhile.
Too long, if you ask me.
Summer has come,
And I’m still waiting for it to pass.
Can’t last,
I’m sure, much longer.
I’m missing you.
I’m missing me.
Because you hold my heart and soul in your palm.
Take care of it,
For I am missing you,
And will need to see you soon.


Details | Free verse | |

You Don't Know Me

I smile so no one can see my scars.
You think i'm happy.
But you don't know me.

You don't know the girl
who cries herself to sleep.
Who marred her skin
from all the stress.
Who hates herself 
for all she's done.
Who chokes back screams
when she sees you smile.

You think I handle all this well.
But you don't know 
the torture I put myself through.
I punish myself for all your lies,
but still can't hate you.

You think you can see
but you don't know me.


( 2004 )


Details | Free verse | |

In The Dark

You say don't talk about it
You say let it be
You say its too dark
And the words are scary.

Don't speak  the unspeakable
Let the rape and murder
Remain a headline to disappear.
Don't discuss the pedophile
Who isn't bothering your child ...
Yet.

A moviestar father talks to his daughter
Like she is crap
Just another rap
All he has to do is apologize.
Thats the new deal ...
just apologize
And It will pass and be forgotten except
For the darkness of her pain.
Her pain that will remain
Forever.

I am sick in this darkness
Oh God, if you exist
Please help me undo this twist
Of the knife in my soul
Of the rage that I feel
This can't all be real
Oh God what have we done ...
How could we?
How could we?


Details | Free verse | |

PLUNGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEEP, YOU FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello loneliness it's me, I called but no answer, makes me think your avoiding me
I saw your friend regret the other day and she said you were doing awful, She said you 
had gotten down and out because many people, have forgotten how good you can make them feel
They have forgotten, just how bitter-sweet your presence delegates them
Hey! Loneliness? what time is it in denial? I just thought I would tell you, I haven't
forgotten
I will always remember cold and hot days when a wall to a closet I was hiding, was a gift
from you
Oh! and don't think I forgot how you stayed with me and talked me through the slices on my arm
I couldn't have carried that out without you, You made me see that nobody will be around
like you,
I cut so deep that for a second I was wishing to see the color blood bones makes, sounds
sick?...
Just like me, I'm unhealthy in fits of rage but oh! I know that's just you morphing into
insanity
Do you remember also, when I called out names of those who said they cared?
Me neither never met them before but if you see them, tell em' I cry by blood and mark by
knife
I shoot like bullets, I hurt like broken, But don't you see? This is the price I pay for
loving you...
Loneliness!


Details | Free verse | |

Shadow Man

I'm the shadow man -

Thinly tracing every step you take

I'm there, always there

Pressing near and yet apart

Just a shadow of a man

I'm the shadow man -

Don't look back or down

I will be hiding

Beneath a footstep or a cloudy sky

But I'm there, always there

Just a shadow of a man

Pressing near yet apart

Treading lightly here and there

I can't be loved

And I won't be ignored

So lend me your hand

And stay close if you can

Everyone needs somewhere to be

Even a shadow man


Details | Free verse | |

The Broken Urn

Eyes flared in agitation
Damasked in utmost lament
The tyrants laughed in vanity
Remains of his mother lie still
As if the winds were holding their breath
The urn cracked and cold as night
Alone, the eyes softened
His heart a hermit of radiance 
Temples tingled as silence stayed
The unprofaned laughter now ash-shamed
Hot tears of fervor reduced their pig-headed ways
He kneeled to his mother as they gazed
In the urn she no longer cried
Even in the urn did she not abide


April 28, 2014


Details | Free verse | |

Consume Me

A smile so achingly perfection 
Only hiding evil buried deep inside 
Emptiness and destruction is all you leave behind 
Your love consumes me, burns me from within 
Leaving only darkness, where there once was light. 

Now I’m just a shell, no not even that 
More a memory of the me that disappeared 
As you caressed me with your deadly touch 
Your love it consumed me, burned me from within 
Hidden scars eternal, a reminder of your deceptive evil 

How is it you still consume me when there’s nothing left to take 
Only a hollow void where there once was life 
Yet you’re an obsession I just can’t let go 
Even as I turn to leave, we know it’s not the end 
Only a matter of time, until I’m back again. 


Details | Free verse | |

Felo-De-Se Dream

I just drank a fifth of vodka
A lot on my mind
I start crying
But not because I'm sad or scared
It just feels like I'm supposed to
Razor blade in my hand
Ready to cut my flesh
First I slit my neck
Then both wrists
See the blood drip
Feel it running down my skin
Hear it hit the floor
Smells great
One taste & reality hits
Blood is gone
No cuts
Or tears
A voice says,
"This is your future"
Then I wake up


Details | Free verse | |

October 13th

Wake up a little earlier; another troubled night
But the remnants of pre-birthday make-up still do their job remarkably
Smile for the camera; these pictures are keepers, so realistically modelled for
Thank yous for unthoughtful offerings; why hurt feelings after all?
A dozen friends all come along; it's not their scene but they want to please me
Can't look over there, have to be the last to go through the door
They're trying so hard, all their love gathering on my windowsill
Some cards handmade with heartfelt affection, gifts so vague and cliched, more 
roses than I could care for
And your dusty eyes still staring through them all from behind the frame
Complete the scene as my headstone

Couldn't have slept at all
Excitedly imagining what you were planning
Warm in your jacket you gave me to sleep in
Wouldn't lift or lower my foolish head
Jitters looking forward to you
Flash could've gone off but we wouldn't notice
Shroud me with your words, promises you could not keep
All the guests combined; a less than you companion
I wonder why we couldn't make it through?
And I'd never had to say goodbye 'til the day that I met you
All that I'd got for we pushed them all out
And I didn't miss them.
Didn't miss them.

Why are you still asking after me?
How do you still reach into my eyes
Before I turn away?
What happened to let us get like this and tell me
When can it end?
How is it I want it to stay?
Though there's a soft spot for you in my heart and you're
Slowly seeping out

Frozen as this face remains
Breaking when I'm forced to recall
I'm 18 and you're not here
But she passed on your message for me
Happy Birthday.
And in those obligated words it all crashes back
I'll keep all our secrets and ignore all the rest
The world we made and left to decay
Keeps me smiling for every wasted day.


Details | Free verse | |

Love

I keep hearing that you exist. 
People say they see you-
They touch you.
They say you help them when depressed, sad and lonely.
They say you keep people together- forever.
Some even say you do not work all the time;
You have a tendency to fade away-
Only for a short time, however,
For you can return to set things back to norm.
I'm curious- love.
Do you really return?-
Do you really fade away?-
Do you really keep people together- forever?-
Do you really console the depressed, sad and lonely?-
For I am sad, lonely and depressed.
Will not you help me?
Why ignore me?-
Or forget me?
Why listen to what others have to say about me?
I tried to reach for you too-
You just could not see.
For sadness, depression and loneliness kept you blind;
Blind from watching my hands reach out to you...
You fell-
Long gone-
Never came back.
Do not worry-
I keep hearing that you exist.
Tis' true?- 
Do you really- 
Exist?


Details | Free verse | |

Innocence of a Child

Mister,
Why did you hit Mommy?

Mister,
You can't punish me,
You're not my daddy!

Mister, 
You say not to hit,
But your actions declare you a hypocrite.

Mister,
You push Mommy down,
But you say not to tell unless I say she fell.

Mister,
I try my darnedest to be good,
But you say I'm not action like I should.

Mister,
You hurt my feelings,
But you say you're just teaching me something with meaning.

Mister,
You come home with more than just Mommy,
But you say I saw nothing

Mister,
The night you came home drunk,
You know the night you shot Mommy with a shotgun . . . 
The night you left her beaten, bruised, scarred,
Bleeding on the ground. . . 
The night she went to sleep and never woke up

That night I was left alone,
Helpless,
Nowhere to go.

Mister,
Why did you do it
When you said you loved Mommy?

Mister, 
Why did you leave me stranded 
When you said you cared about me?

Mister,
Because of you
I am left here to die
Beside this dumpster where you told me to lye.

Mister,
I've been waiting here like you said,
For days,
Weeks,
Months,
But you r face I have not seen

You have let me down, Mister,
But that is nothing new.

You always told me to be a good child,
So I will.
With what's left of me, 
I will wait,
Calling your name . . . 

Mister . . . ?
Mister . . . ?




Details | Free verse | |

Another Name

Tears
Such a soft, gentle word
For an experience
With the power to
Shake the soul
Wrack the body
And flood the hollow spaces
Of the heart
The hot, hard tears
Of anger and frustration
The constant clinging tears
Of grief and loss
The uncontrollable tears
Of irrational despair

Someone should invent 
Another name
For the relentless pain
And shrouded darkness
Called “crying”
And free the word “tears”
To mean only the iridescent
Tears of pure joy.


Details | Free verse | |

Void

I see you in my dreams, laughing, eyes merrily dancing 
you fill my heart with love, my soul with kissed promises
But when I awake from this rainbowed dream where all the edges 
are bound with colored ribbons of hope
I find you standing at the end of my bed, eyes sunken and hollowed
a black crow, perched upon the limb of your own destruction

Your addictions gnawing away at your being are all that appear 
no light exudes from your presence, darkness has enveloped you
has stolen your future and our dreams, like a thief that 
slipped by, so quietly unseen 
all that is left are the bright images of the past, 
where we are captured in moments of suspended happiness 
They frequent every corner of my mind and visit me in 
my subconscious 
If only I could but remain in that deepest void 
you would be as you were, our future would be as it 
always should have been

I close my eyes and block out your image that has tainted my 
present reality 
choosing to dwell upon the scattered pictures and remain 
blissfully peaceful in my own ignorance
For the person that you were is forever lost to me, gone, 
swallowed whole
of us there is but an empty vacuum, a succession of days, 
until the end 


Details | Free verse | |

Painful Sorrow and Loneliness

I’m sitting on a park bench…in the rain
Crying, with no one to console me…
I lost my family…and I lost my friends
And what’s worst is that my love left me…
I never knew that loneliness could hurt so much
And I never thought that it could happen…to me
Well I guess I was wrong…

These tears of mine won’t stop falling down my face
With every tear that drops, it represents
The pain I caused everyone in my life…
I can’t turn back time, though I wish I could
And correct all of my mistakes and live happily!

Now I walk home alone…with nothing
On my mind, except for misery…
I sit in the corner…where it is dark
So that I can escape reality…
I never knew that sorrow would hurt me at all
Because I believed that I was too strong for that
But I guess that I was wrong…

The pain in my chest won’t go away
With every tear that drops, it represents
The loneliness that I experience everyday in my life…
I only pray that God above will
Help turn my miserable life around for me!

These tears of mine won’t stop falling down my face
The pain in my chest won’t go away
With every tear that drops, it represents
The pain I caused everyone in my life…
I can’t turn back time, though I wish I could
And correct all of my mistakes and live happily!
With every tear that drops, it represents
The loneliness that I experience everyday in my life…
I only pray that God above will
Help turn my miserable life around for me!


Details | Free verse | |

If I Forget

If I forget,
Remind me of your name
As it must have slipped away.

If I forget,
Show me a photo of my face
As it surely has changed.

If I forget,
Take my hand back to that place
For I've certainly lost my way.

If I forget,
Breathe a gentle breath in my ear
If will calm my fear and rekindle the flame.

If I forget,
Bring the heart straps
That held me to you like glue.

And if I forget,
Carry the memory of us
It is lost but a treasure on a raft on the waves...

TRS, 09/13/08


Details | Free verse | |

No words describe the pain

No words describe the pain
As tears fall you know, 
This is only the beginning!
True heartbreak lies ahead
Tears roll endlessly,
A grown man on his knees
Broken by despair.
That sad reality that your not good enough
A question you already answered!
Looking back I regret…
I regret that first look when your eyes met mine…
You had my heart more then you could ever know!
As rage brews inside, still I have no hate for you,
But only for myself! 
Knowing I couldn’t be what you needed… 
I couldn’t fill that role!
So here I sit alone
As tears roll down my check,
I have no words to describe the pain!


Details | Free verse | |

Vengeance

Dark skis over head 
The fiery pit underneath 

When she walks into the room
All light is pushed from me

Striding up to me she opens her mouth
And from it flies the insults and curses
That turns me cold in my soul

Why do I deserve this? 
What crime did I commit?
I have given my soul 
And she retuned it in shreds

This is the last day 
For should she return 
I’ll give her a little black box
And when she opens it 
All my wounded and torn soul
That has mingled 
With hate despair and frustration 
Shall be set free
In all is godly fury

It shall all be contained in a note
That will tear out 
The very fabric of her spirit
And justice shall be done


Details | Free verse | |

The Arms of a Stranger

The odor of warmth and affection,
The feeling of love and protection,
An isolated heaven of love;
I lay in his arms like an angel,
Like a white dove,

At the moment,
I am living an endless time
Of eternal happiness,
Life seems to be everlasting…
Life now, is a colored painting 
Of smiles and joy,

Words slithered between his lips,
Like tiny insects sliding on the petals
Of a bright-colored flower,
I contemplated his beauty as 
I heard his tender voice whisper,
“Thy beauty is like the azure sky.”

Perfection is what I am seeing,
His words kept on repeating
In my head;
In his arms I lived another life…
A nirvana created by his glaring eyes,

“Thy beauty is a mosaic picture on the walls of heaven,”
His words swayed like the dancing waves…
I lay there inertly,
With a river of feelings penetrating 
My soul like an addictive kiss of his,
I smiled…   

--------------------------------
My feelings suddenly shifted,
I felt tiny droplets of water condense
On my cheeks,
Were they tears?

My anguish was immense…
Sadness and grief formed
A body of confusion that mystified 
The fantasizing feelings I had felt,

Here I was,
In your arms;
My ally, the person I shared my life with…
You held me tightly trying to ease
The pain I was feeling,
The pain created by you…

The tears in my eyes created a reflection of
My sufferings,
The sufferings that tend to draw a continuous
Picture of your betraying eyes…
I cried and cried as I felt your arms
Hold me tighter,
I felt no comfort at all…

I closed my eyes trying to place myself
In “his” arms again,
The arms of the stranger 
That allayed my soul like tender music,
Like a harmony created by the soft,
Emerald leaves that danced with the wind…

I smiled again…






 
  


















Details | Free verse | |

Outcasts

They watch from 
Their place in school.
No one notices.
No one cares.
They are alone
In the big world.
Watching life unfold.
Not experiencing for themselves.
Sad
Lonely
Misunderstood
They try to break through the glass
Separating them from 
The rest of the world.
But it is unbreakable.
So they stand and watch.
Miserable
They are the outcasts. 


Details | Free verse | |

Dreams upon the Bay

At the beginning of the pier as I gaze outward,
My path appears narrow, straight also so definite.
Cascading light, showed far away shadows, un-brightly.
Precious clouds portray, a show, remembering the night.
Shallows, which shimmer on each side of my walking pier,
Have such images, bringing darkness, pressing upward.
Mocking my memories, discoloring forward thrust,
I slowly walk closer the images grow bolder.
The faded beauty, which I first saw before me, quakes,
Its’ reflections, at first reaching the pier of my life,
The light begins to concave as I go closer, end.
Broadening outward, beckoning me to follow, now,
Both beauty and darkness haunting me, this moonlit night,
As good and evil, being opposites, thus challenge.
Equally, our night dreams must survive upon the bay.


Details | Free verse | |

Mirror, Mirror

Frustrated
Hurt 
Confused
Unsure
Unable to see who I am
Unable to see you for what you are
What you’ve become
Yet I love you
But the longer I stay
The longer my love for myself fades away
I have sacrificed
Compromised
Went against my morals 
My principles
All for a love that was never really mine
I have been battered
Bruised
Scarred by the same lips that use to say the sweetest words
The words that use to play in my ears like a soft symphony 
You can’t even see how much you’ve changed 
Back to who you always were
The man you always denied to be
How naïve of me to trust 
In you 
In us
The mask that you use to hide your true identity 
Has disappeared 
Leaving you exposed
For all eyes to see
What a Liar
Swindler
 Jerk
You really are
It’s as if I am seeing you for the first time
As satisfied as I should be for finding this out now
Before I was in deeper
I am not satisfied
I am heartbroken 
Distraught
I can’t believe I fell for the illusion
Instead of for the reality
I can’t believe my chance for a happily ever after 
Was only a mirage I created in my mind
And I can’t believe I allowed you to hurt me so deeply
I can’t believe this broken girl in the mirror ...is me


Details | Free verse | |

I hate to know how you are, Just remember what you did to me

I can see right through you, don't you know? ha!! 
You don't know me, but I know you, isn't that funny?

Can't you see what you put me through? 

I am very amused by this you see, don't ask why
I have no answer to reply.

But in the end it will all turn out fine.

Because I can read your mind.

awhh and I sieh, 

You don't remember why.

But here I am waiting for you to remember when and why.


Details | Free verse | |

Your Death - Dedicated to my Husband

As I see you take your last breath
I cry and scream in agony
For I have lost my best friend and
The only man that ever truly loved me
You knew all my secrets
You knew all my faults
And loved me in spite of them

Now I feel bitter regret
Because I have missed so
Much time with you
And now it is too late
I have lost you forever

You were the only one 
Who was ever true to me
You would have ripped
Out your heart if I needed it
Though abuse and betrayal
Found me because of you
I always knew how much
That you loved me

Despite the many faces 
That you have encountered
During your lifetime
I was the only woman
That you ever loved 
Though I was full of
Many imperfections 
You saw me as 
The perfect woman
In every way
The devotion you have
Shown me surpasses
That of all of the romantic
Tales that have ever been told

Now all I can do is
Cherish your memory
Like I should have done
When you were alive
Your passing does not
Only mean the ending 
Of your earthly existence
It is the death to the
Beating of my heart
For I cannot live
Without my soul mate



Details | Free verse | |

Black and White

Wish it wasn't so cold around here
Wish I could stand up sometimes
Wish I had somewhere to go
Drowning myself to sleep with emo music

Wish you were near me
Wish I knew who you are
Wish I could see your eyes for a while
Dreaming in black and white every night

The sun goes down again
End of the act, see you idiots tommorrow
Hide in the darkness
Warm, comfy shelter
The day is gone again
Another time I can't be broken
I pull the strings here, in black and white
Curl up and cry for tonight

The sun goes down again
And you emerge from its ashes
Look at me now, in black and white
'cause colors hurt

Wish I could look at the sun
Without my eyes burning up
Wish you were here
Without your hands cutting mine

But I just sleep every night
Dreaming in black and white...


Details | Free verse | |

Finish Last

A hatred toward myself
a longing for the feeling of the cold hearted
no emotion 
no cares
no heartbreak
the unbelievable becomes real
a rejection burning so deep!
another night of these deadly thoughts
realizing the sad truth,
nothing I do can ever be enough
the cliché stands true…
Nice Guys finish last!


Details | Free verse | |

My Love After Death

You can call my name but you wont hear me answer
At least no in this physical world
You know, my love, that I never wanted to be
Separated from you
What I would do to take everything back
What I would do to stop you from crying
You need to go on with your life
And just leave me as just a memory

Though I may be dead now, I still live
I am still alive within you
And know one thing now
I love you and will always as I eternally sleep

Hold my hand, isn’t it cold?
Well know that on the inside it is warm
To see you happy is a dream that I still hold onto
From this day forward
What I would do to hear your voice again
What I would do to express my love for you
But since I love you so much
I want you to be happy and move on

Though I may be dead now, I still live
I’ll be alive in spirit, honey
But I haven’t left without
Leaving you a gift as well as my will

What I would do to see you again
What I would do to say, “I love you” again
But you needn’t focus on me
For I’m still with you, just now a part of you

Though I may be dead now, I still live
You shall see a part of me again soon
Just 9 months from now
You will see some on me with a part of you
A new creation because of my love for you…


Details | Free verse | |

Nobody

Put yourself in my shoes, tell me how you would feel 

if you were always mocked and made fun of. Put 

yourself in my shoes and tell me how it feels to feel 

unloved. Put yourself in my shoes, tell me how it 

feels to cry yourself to sleep and wonder when will 

the pain go away. Always putting yourself in a corner 

and just thinking about life and why you had to had 

this one, wondering..... out of all the friends you 

ever thought of having, you just had to have the one 

that talks behind your back and always smiling in 

your face. Put yourself in my position and tell me if 

you tried to kill yourself, or tried to run away 

knowing that who ever you run away with, its not like 

you and him will last but you do it anyways and at 

the end your left in the street. Put yourself in the 

mentality and the state of mind i have; its not easy. 

I have to block everyone just to ignore but its hard 

just because its get worse. Put yourself in my shoes 

and see how it feels to be a nobody.


Details | Free verse | |

Me, Myself, and My Soul

As happy melodies hum,
Underneath, the sounds of sadness come,
Provoking all the sorrow and fear,
That all hearts are forced to hear,

Looking at the glowing mirror,
Seeing the reflection of “Myself”
Shadow less, I stand,
Contemplating the solid glass, imagining “Me”

Hearing the terrified breaths of “Myself”
While inside, I am touching the joyful “Me”
That an eye no longer can see,
No sympathizing, no sympathy,

Through “Myself” I could feel my lonely soul,
Desolated from the incomprehensible world,
Surrounded by rhythms created by void,
That I hear “Myself” continuously sing,

My soul sees through “Me,”
Unleashing the pain, making freedom surround,
But “Myself” comes and interrupts,
My freedom and my soul begin to corrupt,

“Me,” someone that no longer lives,
Someone that tries to forgive, “Myself”
The person that took place,
The person living a life drenched with dimness,

“Me,” is gone,
“Me,” has disappeared into non existence,
My soul is surrounded by “Myself”
Cherishing “Me” by the colorful memories...


  


Details | Free verse | |

untitled

A figure in darkness
Cradleing a small package
Trots up the stony ridge of stairs
In the night clouds cover the horizon
No stars can be seen from the gloomy street
A single lantern is lit and the only light
A woman with the hood drawn above her head
Lays a child upon the doorstep of a lonely family
She touches her fingers to her mouth
Then to the child's forehead
A tear filled with happy memories
Lands upon the baby's hand
With one last look
The woman disappears into darkness
As swiftly as she appeared
And the baby gave a cry of sadness
Then all became silent


Details | Free verse | |

Ur Angel of Sadness

I once was your Armageddon, your mystic legend
Times we argued, realized it was foolish and grinned
Times we laughed, time is a luxury we do not have
Let us old hands old man
The lady beside you, she sang a beautiful tune 
The things we don’t want to lose 
The loved ones we hate, similar to the above sons mate
The people we want to please 
Those we set a perfect yet fragile image
Only to be later ceased
Precious moments we so desperately want to keep 
Shh! You speak as though you’re never coming back
But I will not return, best wishes, Ur angel of sadness
I’m a survivor
I work miracles, I was yours
I was everything and nothing anyone would care for 
I am still your Armageddon, your mystic legend
My objectives to make you laugh, smile, and mourn
Your rapture, warriors of eternity, a child lost and torn
Mission suffered massive failure 
Let us hold hands this final hour
For your misery is ours
You can say you loved him
You can say you placed no other above him
Despite how it sounds
The individual will everyone around him
Is the loneliest person around
In memory of those whom titled him “Angel of Sadness”


Details | Free verse | |

Hunger

Here, 
where the black white shadows 
pond and melt 
her dress 
flutters around the 
pronounced scimitar 
of her neck line. 

Eyes whisper 
fr-ig-id 
with a syllabically thick accent 
as if cold were a ham-fisted lug 
emerging from the 
yawning dark mouth 
of the cabin behind her 
pressing his hands 
with the grip 
of a dying man 
bracing his last breath 
with each 
light blue, 
half moon 
fingernail.


Details | Free verse | |

Goodbye

The signs came early enough for us to know, 
that we didn't have much time before you would go.
You had to quit your job and move somewhere new,
leaving all those memories behind for us to review.
We knew the upcoming months would be tough,
trying to make the best of every moment, but still not enough.
The next few months for you were somewhat a blast,
going to Tennessee with your daughters, both hoping it would last.
When you got back, you became sicker and sicker,
the doctors said that  the cancer started getting thicker and thicker.
We all knew the end would come soon, how long it would be, no one knew.
Every moment we could, we spent with you, 
Now I sit and realize how the time just flew.
As the end came near we threw you a surprise,
I'll never forget the look in your eyes.
We threw a surprise party just for you, 
inviting all the people that you knew.
The end would soon come later that night, 
as you passed away and began your heavenly flight.
Mom and Dad said that you had a blast,
those last few moments, filling the night with plenty of laughs.
As you recalled old memories of yours from the past,
with everyone there hoping that time would last.
As I sat through the funeral, and I shed a single tear, 
I would never forget the times you and I shared here.
Now that I know you are gone, 
to live in heaven eternally long,
I have come to say that I will always love you Grandma,
and I will never forget you,
goodbye "Nanaw".



Details | Free verse | |

Them

I walk with them
I experience life but they only dismiss it
I change my ways and they don’t notice 
I fall and they walk on by
I talk and they ignore
I cry and they turn there backs
I hope and they destroy
I laugh and they make me angry
I do well but they have to do better
I feel myself falling and they only notice themselves
I want to scream but they silence me
I want to prove myself but they won’t let me
I want to do rise above but they chain me down
I put on a pretty smile and no one is the wiser
I have them fooled and they don’t even know


Details | Free verse | |

in the center of the woods

i felt alone today
on purpose.

i came here, with tears in my eyes,
looking for you, screaming for you.
and here i found you.

you took me in. surrounded me.
you bent your arms and held me close.
i breathed in deeply and could smell you.
you smelled like heaven.

as the tears streamed down my face,
the leaves began to fall
the sun beamed through the branches.
you felt like my home.

I felt alone today. you did too.

i came here, with tears in my heart,
looking for you, needing only you.
and here you found me.


Details | Free verse | |

Speed

Running from the world
Although I cannot
Walking away from feelings
Locked deep inside
The soul tricks my mind
Unable to speak
Or express my thoughts
Keeping away from unknown feelings
I can never feel them again
As I run from time


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Hearted

If this wasn't ment to be then why did God let it go this far?
If I cant have tou to myself, 
then why should anyone else?
Im tired of suffering while youre out partying with your friends.
I hate that I cant hid from all this,
but some how you find a way you can.
I hate when I see you for the first time in months.
I hate that I build myself up,
only to let you tare me down.
I dont wanna love you anymore.
I dont want to look at him and see you.
I dont wanna think of the "What If's".
I dont wanna see your face everywhere I go.
I dont wanna cry everytime I hear our song on the raido.
I dont wanna think about our past,
thinking of ways I could of made it last.
If you didn't love me,
then why did you lead me on?
If you didn't care then why were you holding on so strong?
If I was the one, then why are you with HER??


Details | Free verse | |

PAPER

I was like a piece of paper
I was smooth and crumple free
And then a man did pick me out
And scribbled over me.

And then when he had done his work
He took me in his hand
He crushed that piece of paper, me
I didn’t stand a chance

Then came a day that he did think
He wasn’t maybe done
He took that paper out the bin
And smoothed it out again.

He didn’t see the scribble there
And again he took his pen
He scribbled more and made a mess
And crumbled me again.

Some time did past and then one day
Another time was found
The man who picked it out this time
Was angry and astray

He took that piece of paper, me
And again it was smoothed out
He saw that there was scribble there
But didn’t take a count

I had some wine that split on me
I had some crackers too
I wasn’t what he want me be
And nearly tore in two

He wrote some angry words on me
And vented for release
And then I found me once again
Just thrown on a heap

Now I sit here mighty soiled
With lots of marks on me
And I don’t care just anymore
For those who don’t want me. 


Details | Free verse | |

Pears and Lilies

Across the cold concrete steps
Are strewn pears and lilies

A very long time ago
A grave tragedy occurred here

No one saw anything
No one said a word

Dark spirits now protect the site
Somber, powerful memories still remain

At the corner of forever
Out on the edge of time

Where something means everything
But means nothing at all

Stands a figure transfixed, keenly aware
that beyond the void and

Across the cold concrete steps
Are strewn pears and lilies


Details | Free verse | |

After All

Tumble me through this nebulous
connection
so
I can
gently touch your fingertip
as you
reach
for November’s sky

Kindly
wrap me in winter wishes
    once upon an icy star
and
warm me with promised
nights of velvet
naked
 
Then
    blessedly
release me into the
night of snow
and lost


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Confused and lost
sitting in a place full of ghosts
longing for  love I will never find
hoping one day someone will understand me
holding my heart close behind this wall
wanting someone to take it and keep it safe
knowing it will never happen
no one can see past the wall that's in place
hiding who I am from prying eyes
never letting anyone see my longing
never able to find the door to let them in
being ever eluded by the truth
a truth only felt from love
no one really sees me
no one really cares to look


Details | Free verse | |

Death

Is death the end to our suffering 
Or the cessation of our existence?
Is death a new journey for our soul? 
Or is death our final eternal punishment?
Or do our souls get to rest peacefully
After a life of trials and tribulations?
Should we cry or rejoice when
Death stares us in the face?
What is death to us?
An end to our sorrow
To our pain 
To our physical imperfections
To our illnesses
To the sins that torment us
Should we fear this unknown phenomena?
Or should we embrace it?
Maybe in death we find the truth
That escaped us during our lives.
Maybe in death we can finally find freedom
To roam in a mystic realm of our own creation


Details | Free verse | |

OFF and On

OFF and On
Simply put some people are always ON and they are supercharged and have no 
lack of energy gastrulating vehemently as the victum less than gleefully reacts to 
them oh please my work is over in one hour eye am very sleepy now as soon as 
eye have eaten and made love then eye must sleep and get some rest somehow 
oh eye knoe that you are someone in the world of education oh you say you are a 
teacher and you expostulate the ramification of my emulation of a sheep at sleep 
and resting in the field of grass between the Sheppard dogs at last just let me do 
this last hour of my job and learn people do not have to bow to a higher learner 
when they earn.


Details | Free verse | |

Confused Heart

I don't know why you insist on loving me
Because you won't receive it back fully
I'm not so used to the subject
A part of my heart is saying, "I don't love you!"

You can't sleep at night because you're worried 
About me...
But let me say that I'm very important
You wont leave me alone, you're in my way
And I cannot have that
Its fine that we're friends but we...
Cannot go any further than that

But you'll have a nice life
You'll find someone to be in your life
Because I am nothing but trouble...

However you insist that love is stonger
But tell me why people get hurt everyday
It is because of this so-called-thing love
That's hurting everyone, me, and you

Just because I choose not to love you
In that way...
Doesn't mean that I don't...
Think of you every now and then

You'll have a nice life
You'll find someone to be in your life
Becase I am nothing but trouble...

I don't know why you insist on loving me
Because you won't receive it back fully
I'm not so used to the subject
A part of my heart is saying, "I don't love you!"
I don't know why you insist on loving me
Because you wont receieve it back fully
I'm not so used to the subject
So just drop it please
However you insist that love is stronger
It maybe in a fantasy world
However we live in reality
And a part of my heart is saying, "I don't love you!"


Details | Free verse | |

Crawl into Me

Scattering into broken pieces
Of debris,
My life has become a black painting
Of nothingness,

Within myself I see,
 You concealing me,
I feel droplets of misery
Crawling into me, to simply become…
Me… 

I wonder if my tears
Could water the eternal desiccation,
That fills my life with hopelessness…
When will “I” reappear?

Nothing but this undying pain
Remains,
The memories I thought would 
Never die…
Have killed the happiness…
And have gone away,

Like eternity,
My sorrowfulness is my days,
Is my dreams, is my prevailing thoughts, is
 Everything that creates my life…
It’s me…

Rage flows in my veins,
Like boiling blood;
I’ve become an explosion
Of resentment…
Like a volcano of red, burning hatred,

All these particles of my sorrow,
Crawl into me,
Triggering a reflection
Of the person I don’t want to be…
The Me in me…

Crawl into me…
The person I was,
The person that you were…
The person I want you and me to be…

“Farah,”
The calling of my name revived me
From talking to my shadow,
“Farah, go to sleep...You have school tomorrow!” 
My mom yelled…

Before switching off the lights,
I glanced at my shadow again
With tears in my eyes,
And quietly muttered,

“Crawl into me...”
 


 


 






Details | Free verse | |

Dream

everything is peaceful and calm just like always
but then suddenly something is different
I wake up and realize yet again that it was just a dream
just one more dream that will never come true
for my life is far from peaceful and calm
I wake up yet again to a world gone wrong
a world as scary as any nightmare
maybe we're all just dreaming this world
and without dreams it wouldn't exist
maybe we're all just someones dream
someone like me dreaming their life away
hoping that things will get better some day
isn't that why we all dream?
to escape from our fears and problems
if only for a few hours
dreams are a never ending addiction
the almost perfect drug
and we all do it
we sleep everyday to escape our lives
only if we sleep will our dreams come true
but they're only an illusion
maybe the only way to make a dream happen
is to die and dream an eternal dream


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Dark Beauty.

She so delicate of visage
Veiled in obscurity
Intangible appearances
Faceted in flowing black mists

Eyes buffering the vagueness lit
Piercing through shadow
Contained within
Turbulent metaphors of dusk

Tempting destiny uncontrolled
Splashing hot crimson 
Upon the life sparked cinders
Empathizing too late


Details | Free verse | |

Forever to Be Gone, Never to Return

I sit here thinking about 
What I’m soon to do
Our past, present, and future
The things I’ll say
The things I’ll do
What I wish we would have done
And what we didn’t do
The things you’ve done 
And what you might do

You should rot in jail
But
I don’t know 
If
I can send you there

I sit here
Missing you 
Even though I’m not to

I sit here 
Loving you
Even though I’m not to 


Details | Free verse | |

Closure

Where once I could only taste
Sweet as sweetness should be, 
Now there is only but
A sense of hostility
Towards me.
Perhaps you should but could not; 
I say, “please, ” but you would not

Say goodbye.

Now you say it is not over
And that I should wait; 
So I do so, 
But is it in vain? 
Like in slow motion, 
Falling in mid-air, 
Faster and faster; 
Till the ground meets me
And my body shatters and breaks.

It’s been so long since I last saw you, 
My heart is now cramping in ache; 
But the ground has not yet met me, 
So as you say so, 
Here I lie and wait.

I miss you, 
And shall keep missing you, 
Till the time comes
When I will miss 
Missing you.


Details | Free verse | |

Inattention

time and distance unwind
unmindful of a ticking clock
as
commitment tumbles through constant years
with ne’er a thought
that 
there exists another dimension
where all possibilities exist


Details | Free verse | |

Under Oath

Death awaits me on the corner
so be quick
with your
condemnation
and I shall consider
tomorrow’s charges
tangled
with today’s
conviction
and claim
my part
of
just accusation
and
no
more.


Details | Free verse | |

You Think

You think nothing's wrong
It seems like he is alright
You think he is ok
That he has no problems
Then you really start to look at him
And you see
He has more problems then you think
He is not alright
You read the things he writes 
And you see
That maybe he is not ok
Maybe more than nothing's wrong
You think you knew him
If only you had seen
To help this helpless life
You think you knew him
But really you didn't know him at all


Details | Free verse | |

WAITING FOR THE NEW DAWN

He stands there waiting for the new dawn to come. 
strewn all about before him in a field of broken dreams;
are the scattered pieces of his once new beginnings.
Doors are closed,  fences are wired ;

The battle line is drawn as he guards;
the inner most of his existence.
His face is lined with worry and marred ;
by the tears from rivers of sorrow for lost hope.

The cries from within are deadened;
by the walls of silent anger and he waits.
He waits for one who has not come;
as feathers of doves lay before him as if guiding.

All are unknown paths and unsure directions. 
Driven by desire but imprisoned by circumstances;
escape seems hopeless. and like a cancer; 
desperation spreads and consumption seems inevitable.

In a secret place of his mind are the memories of yesterdays tomorrows.
A house is not a home and windows are fastened shut..
In a garden where flowers once bloomed tangled webs of lies and deceit now loom;
and his universe goes unfed..

In his dreams comes a lady of magic.
Her face goes unseen, there's only a light from her eyes;
and it penetrates his mind and somehow tells him;
that with her blown breath fences will vanish.

doors will be open; and with her touch ;
gardens will flourish and hearts will be fed. 
There is a gentleness from her that shows him hope; 
As the light from the new dawn brings him back to where he stands.

one thought repeats its self over and over. 
Is she real? 
Will she really come? 
Will she come in time?


Details | Free verse | |

Ready and Waiting

I’m ready and waiting to find your love again
Ready to be the one your heart lets in
How great was my sin that caused you much pain
From you my mind was gone, but my heart remained
So hard to maintain, so hard to refrain
From cursing the God and the heavens above
For I have lost my one and only love
But because, of my stupidity, I caused my humility
Literally, my heart was torn in two
How could I ever hurt you?!
Now this has caused us to regrettably separate
Has my own foolishness sealed our love’s fate?
As I sit and contemplate, I imagine the time
When your heart will once again become mine


Details | Free verse | |

Hand Me A Drink

   Hand me a drink and pass me one more........

Let me pass out before you leave with that whore!
Dont tell me her name or where she comes from.
Don't wake me when you'r night out is done.

   Hand me a drink and pass me one more...........

Please don't wake me when you close the door.
Don't come home wearing that other girls scent.
Don't be upset when you hear me vent.

   Hand me a drink and pass me one more.............

Make sure I'm dressed warm before I hit the floor.
When you awake and I'm no longer their,
just know I left because you treated me unfair.

   I asked for a drink and I asked for one more............

So I could kill my pain and forever shut the door.
The door I shut lies beneath the ground.
and when you miss me, its because true love you had found.
When you visit that forever shut door.........

   You'll ask for a drink and you'll ask for one more!!!!!


Details | Free verse | |

Nothing More To Do With You

This ends right now.
Confided in me then threw it all away
There can be no love left within me
Angerfeardisappointmentdespair
But you've lost it all now - I've given up on you.

He's got you doing I don't know what
And the rumours are rumours but the rumours are true

And if I saw him I swear
I'd smash his face in.
Could do with another outlet after all
These stabbing shrieks inside my chest
Scraping at my flesh and bone
Won't let them penetrate me

See her; who is she?
Wonder if you know her
She's everything you pretended to be
Emotionless beneath that metal
Trusting no-one still being betrayed

Who are they in the frame with her?
These strangers who casually call themselves friends
You're so stupid
They couldn't care less
Watch you stagger and fuel the habits they helped you start

Mindless idiot.
She's going to die and she's taking you with her

Don'tpiercethatdon'tsmokethatdon'ttakethat
What more can I do when you block me out?
Sleep around black out come to me for comfort
Crazy little girl, could slash you and let all the bad rush out
But then of course we'd have nothing left
And it grieves me that it's come to this
Can't stand it anymore; you're on your own you've got a choice you'll make the 
wrong decision I can't be there to guide you

Confided in you then threw it all away
Can't keep these lame promises and I know
I said I'd always be there
But I was there for you and I'm talking to myself 'cause you're dead on the inside
And it's spreading fast.

Not one redeeming feature
Could rip you apart wouldn't harm you for the world
Save you from it all leave you there for them to get you
And they won't find my girl, person worth protecting
Her and you'll be there instead already gone already dead
You all shall scream
Won't turn my head

And I'll remember you today
For what you used to be
Days that seem too far away

You're ugly now in every way.


Details | Free verse | |

Silent Love

Am I able to express my feelings
Or shall I seal my lips
In horror with the shredding memories and failures of this heart
Never letting it speak out 
Bottled up with emotions that are stored in the depth of my soul

Is it possible to stop this watch from ticking 
Making my time pause in an infinite world and future
Is this being able to withstand the confusion
As rapid minutes turn into hours and days
Leaving this agony to speak to burst away

Am I able to show how my hurtful soul can be reborn again
Able to love and share the beauty and joy and this magical feeling
Yet I'm reserved to this
scared of the outcome and negativity

Love has  been shown in such  mystical ways
believed to make you float during your lasting days
Or can it tear you apart and bury you in sadness

For I have faith in this love
Even though it has been teared away from me
Allowed to break with the shattering pieces in sadness

Its been hard to see you everyday
Gazing at your eyes
Wishing you knew about mine
I can't react
So I must wait as an echo
Until you open your heart freeing your thoughts
And then I can allow myself to open mine

I could forever wait for this response
Unable to admit my thoughts
So I stay in silence 
For I can't make a sound 
Sealed forever more in the darkness of my heart


Details | Free verse | |

Not Real

I've laughed with these people,
Took long journeys with them,
Thought I could truthfully say,
"You are all my dearest companions"

Looking out at the gray,
Knowing you've all forgotten,
Forgotten all our rambles,
Forgotten me too.

For one sin did I make,
And you condemn me for life,
Shamed as I was,
You deserted me here.

Pounding the ground,
My body would shake,
Retchings in my throat,
As I tried to get free.

For this one sin have I done,
And only one does it take,
For you all to condemn me?
And leave me do die?

What kind of love did you have for me?
In the waking hours I would think,
Think of you all, if you were in trouble,
Pray for you all, if you were in need.

Now as I have fallen,
You won't dirty your knee?
To help me up?
Strengthen my courage to try again?

Desperite tears would comb the ground,
My body shaking from the pain within,
I could not breathe from the dry sobs,
Racking my body, tearing my bones.

All this for one sin,
One sin that would not help me cleanse,
Shamed you left me here,
And here I have lain, ready to die.

For why should I live,
If you are what I once called
Dear friends, and thought to be,
Dear friends....


Details | Free verse | |

your lies, my truth.

you tell me i am precious to you.
i am not your currency.
you tell me the circumstances are beyond our control.
but i control everything,
every breath,
every word that leaks from my mouth.
you made me this way,
shaped me from wax,
using knives and tears to make scars in my form.
you tell me you have loved me,
forever,
and until your dying day.
these words slither from your tongue.
you could never have loved me,
its not something thats easy to do.
you dont care what path my life takes,
you dont know what i have been forced into.
you dont want love,
you want control.
you don't want a daughter,
you want a follower.
i have accepted that i have no mother,
that i was created by life's sick fantasy.
i wanted to love you,
when there was still a chance.
so don't lie to me anymore,
don't tell me that it doesnt have to be this way.
it does.
dont thank god for me.
there is no god.
and i am just a curse,
because i hurt you.
you preach that you have room for me in your heart, that you think of me everyday.
and i think of you,
in the morning when i wake,
and in the night when i rest my head.
nothing can ever be easy,
or understandable.
in my heart, there are only cracks
and cobwebs where you might have been before.
it throbs and convulses, refusing love.
i couldnt love anyone,
not if i tried.
not if i wanted.


Details | Free verse | |

By Myself Again

Inside I'm screaming

Not a soul can hear

It feels like I'm just dreaming

No one can come near

I have no one to talk to 

Lost all hopes of success

The only one I had was you

Now my whole life is a mess

I've never felt more alone

The tears don't seem to end

I guess I'm on my own

I'm by myself again


Details | Free verse | |

The Gingerbread Man

We lay side by side in the summer grass,
I reached for the gingerbread man kit
And lifted out a slightly crumbled biscuit,

Taking the tube, I iced a shaky smile onto its face,
Added big, hopeful chocolate drop eyes
And wrote 'I love you' down its front,

Then I handed it to her and said,
"This is me, take care of her,"
And she grinned and bit off its head.


Details | Free verse | |

Yearning For You

If I know what you want 
I would give it to you
How about the moon
A bandit I will become
Disguised as the wind
I will quickly steal it from the sky
And hand it to you
I don’t know what you want
I haven’t a single clue.

My heart you already have
Maybe I gave it too soon
Because all you did was take it
And break it in two
I tried to sew it together
But the cut was made too deep
Every time I think of you
Throbbing pain burst open
The wound I try to conceal

If you pour your love upon it
It will begin to heal
But all I can do for now
Is keep yearning for you

I close my eyes, I see you
You star in all my dreams
I will wave my magic wand
Puff!
Darn, you are still there
A handsome tattoo etched on my mind
What can I do next? 
To make you disappear
To erase you from my life
I see you everywhere

The tears my eyes are shedding
Is nothing compared to the river
My waning heart is raining
My weeping heart is stained
With excruciating pain
If I was physically harmed
The doctor could patch me up 
The yearn I feel for you
Few will understand 


How did you reach in
So incredible deep
Each heart should come with a sign
“Fragile, easy to break
Handle with care!”
That could have saved me 
Nights of sleepless tears
But for now I must suffer
Yearning for you


Details | Free verse | |

Eternal Solitude

There some who prefer loneliness
And there are some who just put up with it
There are some who say they aren't lonely
But in fact, there are many
However, I prefer to be by myself
For there are many things to be done
Only I can reflect on many ideas
And only I can discover myself
Now many would consider me very weird
But it is in fact I, who learns the most alone…

Being alone in solitude
Isn't wrong nor is it bad for you
We need to be alone
Because we don't know ourselves…
We deserve to live in solitude
Until we are reborn again
And when that day in fact comes
Then you'll see the world change for good…

Now there is a choice to be made
But it doesn't seem like it’s the right moment
Are we all ready to change our lives?
To tell the truth, I don't think so
Everyday it is the same exact thing
People harming and fighting each other
Now is humanity ready to be free?
To tell the truth, I don't think so
Now many would consider me very weird
But it is in fact I, who realizes the most alone…

We deserve eternal solitude
For we're all a danger to everything living
And we must stay this way
Until we all know the truth…
We deserve nothing but solitude
Until we realize that we're full of deceit and malice
And that goes for everyone
That is called a human being…

Now many would consider me very weird
But it is in fact I, who knows the most alone…

Being alone in solitude
Isn't wrong nor is it bad for you
We need to be alone
Because we don't know ourselves…
We deserve to live in solitude
Until we are reborn again
And when that day in fact comes
Then you'll see the world change for good…


Details | Free verse | |

The Poison of Love

Love is a poison that kills the heart and soul, 
It forces the heart to yean for it's own death,
Beating faster and faster as the kiss poisons the body.

Love is a snake that coils through our system, 
Poisoning every organ, 
Crippling the brain, 

Love is the Memories.
They cry the poison,
It bleeds from the eyes of the hopeless,
It causes a summersault of pain that churns the stomach.

It's the gauche walk of the drunken lover,
The jealous want of the free life alone with
The one who poisoned you.

Warped thoughts menace those who stand
In your way from the poison addiction.

Dead and scared is the heart,
Black is the soul
When the poison is cleaned from the mind.

Evil is love and, oh, how it hurts
Never does the poison bring peace,
It is our Death.
Our downfall.


Details | Free verse | |

Faced With My Fears

Sitting here faced with my fears
not know how to escape it.

Never knowing who I really am
faced with the fact of life.

It stairs me in my eyes.

This thing people calls fear
tears me down inside.

With out a soul knowing it
faced with the desicions of life.

Sitting here faced with my fears.

I begin to weep

I begin to cry out.

I begin to feel pain like no other
has ever felt before.

As I sit here faced with my fears.

I reach my hand out to you 
for help and only to come and realize.

The only thing in front
of me is my own reflection.

I now have the fear of
helping myself to realize its time to let go.


Details | Free verse | |

Blossom

If I could, I would
     wrap you up 
tightly
     in the softest down
blankie
and 
rock your broken heart
      until you felt safely
protected and
      strong
      enough 
to open your eyes
   and know the tears
      that soak your world
         come from
God
     to
     water tender shoots
pushing up through despair and
confusion to
    seek
    the light
that
    softly glows in your heart
    and grows a tiny bit
       brighter
minute by
hour
    until there
at the corner of your lips
a slight tug
works
    so desperately to 
          grow into
              a ~
Blossom.

Love you, my fragile friend.


Details | Free verse | |

The Real You

Thru darkness unknown to you
you speak the truth
but no one hears
You're all alone in a world of dreams 
but you can't wake up
No one knows you're gone
The pain you hold is a secret from all
Nightmares played all over again
But no one knows the pain your're in
"I know how you feel," they tell you
But you know they'd never understand
the true meaning of alone
You reach out for someone to talk to 
but no one is around
Silence fills air
Trust is something they take for granted
Whispers fill the universe
No one ever keeps their word
They don't really mean what they say
They keep their sheilds of lies
No one knows what true pain is
Everyone regrets their past mistakes
But only the future matters
Nothing you do will ever change that
So why stay so involved
The future is your life ahead


Details | Free verse | |

The Voices in my head

Have you thought of suicide?
Have you ever thought of murder?
Crazy as it may sound,
I've thought of both.
Is it okay for me to tell you I've felt this way?
I dont know why,
And sometimes I try to block out the thoughts.
But they keep coming back.
Telling me that they want more.
They want me to go through.
Do the things I feel that I should do.
Take a gun to my head.
Pull a knife on my husband in bed.
I know too much, I know that.
My husband cheats, and that is a fact.
I say things I shouldnt say when others arent around.
I curse out loud when my daughters are near.
I say things that the two year olds just shouldnt hear.
I cant help but think, what it would be like. 
What if I wasnt around, to feel these things inside.
Who am I punishing, them or me?
What do these things really mean?
Am I crazy, am I insane?
Are there really people running around in my head?
I hear what they say,
Telling me to stop being a baby,
To just die alone in my bed. 
I dont want to think these things.
I dont want to hear what they want to say.
Please make them all go away.
Do you understand what I write?
Of course you dont.
You dont know what its like.


Details | Free verse | |

Home Is Where the Heart Is Stilled

Abandoned places,where
perhaps memories linger,
with wisps of wafting moments,
aware, somehow, even of  the now,
Though long forgotten by all others,
One wonders why, and surely how,
Such strong vibrations of the past,
Seem to time, to have taken a bow...

Gutted building, windows broken,
Creaking, leaking floor,
Last stepped on by the living,
So many, many years before...

Where lives were lived, and
deaths have come in their way,
To others, in a time gone by,
Who here saw their last sad day,
Tears were cried,hearts
were smashed,
Love withered, its flame 
reduced to ash...

Is this a mysterious black hole of time??
A singularity, of now and here...
Where time is not so limpid...
And death is always near,
And fear can swim in the unknown,
The fear of time's mysterious cloud...
As ticks, as tocks, somehow go forever by, 
so mysteriously, and seemingly, oh so loud...

What was the last calendar's  year hung?
The last phone call received,
And who had been the one rung??

Ghost House,
Ghost House,
Scary, time
abandoned place,
Secure in forgotten
nothingness,
And with time, 
you've lost the race.


Details | Free verse | |

The Love

The love was between me and you
dear god, what did i do,
to make you leave like that,
to make you leave so fast.
you told me we would always last
i believed you, how could i not
you said that, maybe you forgot,
we did everything together,
i believed we'd be forever.
Never separated also never lonely
I cant say all the love you showed me.
Calling you just to hear your voice,
I don't understand why you made that choice.
I always loved you so much,
yearning for just one touch.
Tears rushing to my eyes
to fulfill my lonely cries.
Worrying endlessly when you were mad
wondering what I did so bad.
I'll never stop loving you 
no matter what i ever do
you were my first love
you, there is no one above.


Details | Free verse | |

Fallen Angel

As she falls she thinks
She thinks of what she did to make this happen
She was not perfect in his eyes
She is no longer pure
He expected her to be good
She was supposed to guide those on the wrong path
And guard those innocent few
She was to be a role model
But she has fallen now
She can no longer be that
She is not innocent anymore
She has been treated like a disobedient child
He has disowned her like a pregnant daughter
He refuses to forgive her
She was supposed to be perfect
She was supposed to remain untouched for eternity
The one everyone wanted but couldn’t have
But that didn’t happen 
And she has been tossed aside 
Tossed aside like ugly clothes
She let someone touch her
And for that she can never return
She thinks he has overreacted
She doesn’t see what she did as wrong
She believes it was destined to happen
But he sees it has the worst possible thing she could do
He disowned her for one mistake
But she hopes he will let her come back
Maybe one day he will welcome her home
But for now he won’t
She imagines her new life
She thinks falling will be the hardest thing
Maybe one day she will rise again
Being a fallen angel was never her goal 
But that is what she is
And until he forgives her
That is what she will remain


Details | Free verse | |

Grey Area

You came in packages
wrapped in black and white
checkered abstract
ribbon
   knotted
     much
       too
         tight.
In spaces between
   all and nothing
lies my patient
heart.


Details | Free verse | |

TRUE LOVE...

It is the one I want, 
that my heart does haunt.
Even though I can not have, 
the one I hold near and dear, 
they always make me laugh.
They do not spurn me; 
all they do is make me feel free.
Though I know who I want, 
they always seem to try to taunt.
I can not have them this I know, 
I still seem to love them from head to toe.
It is for some time, 
my love I try to hide.
But now my obsession grows so strong, 
I do not know if my heart can hold out for long.
So some how my heart I must break, 
or something else my love and heart must take.
For I know them very well, 
I wish they would at least, 
make my heart hurt like hell.
Because they can not return my love, 
I will try to pray for help from above.
I truly care for them, 
so I can not go to take, 
them away from who they date, 
so now I put my whole self at stake.
Even though my love they won't return, 
I really wish then my heart would burn.
I really fear that some time soon, 
I will be emotionally ruined, 
and that to be my doom.


Details | Free verse | |

Poetic License

There is a force outside this walls
trying to penetrate the security.
Things kept crashing round us.
In love you were sheltered,                                                                                                
but now you color it hostility.
Your embracing the things
that take you away from us,
But you color them saviors.
We were encircled with words
Of loving-kindness as a support,
But you now color it bondage and chains.
With what vision do you
Contort the foundation,
Of our very make up?
We must see through different eyes.


Details | Free verse | |

Hell Is For Heroes

I ran the blade under my thumbnail,
scouring dirt with the tip,
and stared aimlessly at the street.
Switchblade thoughts clicking,
metronomic stilettos on wet paving,
drawing closer.
In this sleeping wakefulness,
this illusion of life,
she never arrives;
waiting, as you do, for endings,
or new beginnings,
becomes strictly habitual.
They say hell is for heroes,
abide there with fiery halos
and tickertape ash.
I ran the blade under my thumbnail,
pressing harder, drawing blood,
a singular jewel procreating,
welling then dripping, dripping.
I’m no hero,
just a deadening excuse
like the rest.
And yet it still feels like hell
to me.


Details | Free verse | |

MANY JUST LIVE MEANINGLESS LIVES...

Many just live meaningless lives...
not caring a bit for others,
and devine goodness 
is not found in them; and when they''die:
nobody will remember them...mourn or cry!

While I'm living,I'll make sure:
I will love and be loved by others,
and my kindness will flow like a rich river...
until it finds the widest ocean!
I will resist to be tempted by iniquity,
and put a stronghold between me and lechery,
because it caused me much grief before...
and tried to destroy me along with my mission!

Many just live meaningless lives...
wasting them away, worrying about the world's cares;
retaining old habits...treading a path:
trampling, instead of walking upright!
Many just live meaningless lives,
living in fear...daunted by perils,
because they don't live by faith,
but by any means of contempt and unrighteousness!

If thoughts and greedy ways 
are meant to please others,
not giving you perfect choices, 
take them out of your actions...
look up and believe you can change everything
for the sake of salvation,which is free and fulfilling!
 
Many just live meaningless lives,
and wait for good luck to bring them riches;
what's missing in their worthless lives
can't be replaced by them,
but by a spiritual transformation... 
as shrewd as intuition!   


Details | Free verse | |

I Will Die Alone

Everybody's dieing,
I can see the bodies falling around me,
crashing down like dead trees,
white faces and cold hands,
touching me lightly,
then landing on the cold hard ground.

This life's dark,
like a big dark room,
there is no life,
because all I see, feel, and hear is death,
striking down the world with his violent hands.

He kills them all,
untill I'm the only one left,
one by one he takes them,
leaving me on this dark earth alone.

Save me lord,
save me,
nevermind, you can't.

I'm going to die,
I will die alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Common Sin

Sometimes you feel trapped when you are bound to someone else
You feel like breaking out but you simply cant you see...
Everyone feels like that from time to time so its natural
But that is the problem that we all face in life...

We don't wanna hurt each other
But it just gets so difficult
We wish to have everything we want
But reality is harsh
No matter...how hard we try
All we can do is hurt our loved ones
"I love you" is basically an empty phrase
Because all we do is cheat and sin
Honey...

Thought we have a conscience, we seem to go against it all the time
What does that say about everyone in general...?
Everyone is eveil on the inside though we try to deny it
But we can also do good if we would only try it...

We simply don't care about anyone else
Though we lie and say we do
We only are evil and selfish
But we cannot control it
No matter...how hard we try
All we can do is cause harm
Why can't we all simply change as a whole?
Because we all share a common sin
Honey...

We go so far low as to hurt one another
Just to satisfy our wants
We are all really selfish
But we can't help it
We don't wanna hurt each other
But it just gets so difficult
We hurt each other to get what we want
Without thinking the plan through
No matter...how hard we try
All we can do is cause harm
Why can't we all simply change as a whole?
Because we all share a common sin
Honey...


Details | Free verse | |

Love, I Hate You

Love, I hate you, 
Not ‘cos you’re ugly.

Love, I hate you, 
Not ‘cos you don’t love me.

Love, I hate you,
‘Cos of your great love to me.

Love, I hate you, ‘cos of it; 
A listener, you don’t want to be.
.
You heeded not what I said, 
Even thou, I beg you, to “back off!”

“Now, Look!
You see… what we’ve done!?”

A soul is in grieve, 
‘Cos of us.

With your love, 
My soul cries, too.

Love, I hate you, 
For intoxicating me, with your potion.

Thou, you know…
I am a married man.



Details | Free verse | |

An Accidental Overdose

She fought daily with the agony.
never knew when it would strike.
It affected all corners of her world
waking, sleeping, laughing, and crying.
Early one morn, she lost the battle.
Through the night she had struggled,
to rid the ache in her head.
She tried them all.
One here and one there,
still it persisted,
another, then, another.
She had forgotten the total.
The compounds crescendoed
and released an avalanche of effects.
Breathing crawled, heart decelerated
and mentation retarded.
Then all stopped.
It was an accidental overdose.
Just a girl trying to ...
stop the pain.


Details | Free verse | |

Death Changes

Old Death is a scar,
an empty eye socket, a lost limb.  
It has been grieved and we leave it alone
most of the time except on long drives
or sleepless nights.

New Death is a police siren behind you,
a baby crying for you in the night
in a house on fire.

New Death is bright red.

Old Death is brown.  
We can pick it up and put it down.

New Death picks us up and 
puts us down when it wants to.

New Death is a mugger in an alley
on your way home.  
Leather jacket, whiskey breath,
fear smell, switch blade at your throat.
That's New Death.  
It mugs you and steals your life
for years or forever.

Old Death is a tight uniform you wore,
you try it on once in a while.
You were drafted in the Regiment of Pain.
It doesn't fit, you don't wear it 
but you will never be the same again.
You have your memories at that private war with Death.
You are a veteran now.
But the Private Pain mellows into General Acceptance
and the poignancy turns to peace
and all New Death will lose it's sting
with time and God's help forever.


Details | Free verse | |

Finals

A stalking moon comes
riding
on mount of silver
     and
     blue
     metallic
shimmering
     beckoning
shadows colliding
with
      imagined imaginings
and
      impassioned words
spoken to
      look
          like you
rhyming
with
the glow of
     lightening dark
         pale
            dawns
shivering in
twilight unmasked
as
a
     hollow
     exchange
that
bounces from
     here to there
         and
     wonders
         how the connection
grew so
weak
and
      unenduring
when
      plastic care
became
      so unassuring
and
     deaf and dumb
came    
     crawling
              droning
so
      enough became
           too much
to hear
and
flat tone
       came alive
to
       animate my screen
in hurried
dutiful
   replies
      evenly spaced to
          reflect
               time better spent
                    elsewhere.


Details | Free verse | |

Un

Don’t you dare
   think
of
   leaving me with
the mess of you
to
unknow the heart of
you
to
unlearn the soul of
you
to
untie the strings of
us
to
attempt to defy
the laws of
nature


Details | Free verse | |

But Why Part of Mine

My lungs scream for air
But my throat is too tight for breath
Nobody is there to hear me cry
Nobody cares that I just want to die
No one understands the pain that is building up inside
It’s all a part of life
But why part of mine?
I try to move my hand
But my muscles are too tight for motion
Nobody is there to hear my try
Nobody cares that I’m trying to die
No one understands the emptiness inside
It’s all a part of life
But why part of mine?
I try to sit up
But my legs are too weak for standing
Nobody is there to hear me sigh
Nobody cares that I’m soon to die
No one understands what I’m feeling inside
It’s all a part of life
But why part of mine?
I try to wake up
But my eyes will not open
Nobody is there to hear me say ‘Bye’
Nobody cares that I know I will die
No one understands what it is going on inside 
It’s all a part of life
But why part of mine?


Details | Free verse | |

Shredded Innocence

A brisk ride with a little known uncle,
to a gathering of loved ones, reunited,
quickly turns to a journey of hell.

Torn away from her home,
she is subjected to a horrifying
world of depravity and terrorism.

On a country backroad,
with no one to witness,
her chastity is torn away,
along with ripped clothing and flesh.

Struggling for freedom, fighting for breath,
she strains against their hands.
They violate her tiny body with their own.
She screams and cries out for "Momma."
The tears flood her tiny eyes.
With no one to save her,
this nightmare is real.

Each movement brings forth more pain,
seeping to her very core.
She endures the ghastly assault 
from the demented couple, she does survive.

Back on the road, with drugs prevailing
the truck comes to a violent stop.
She runs to her earthbound savior
with wings of denim and an old red truck.
He rescues what is left of her angelic being,
kept safe until the enforcers present.

She now battles, not for her life, but her mind.
The outer scars will fade with time,
but his face and voice will haunt her
and live in her nightmares from now on.


Details | Free verse | |

Love thy brother.

Brothers killing brothers......a field of blood
sisters slaying sisters.......instead of bearing sons.
mothers ,daughters..fathers, sons
all dead and gone, kindred spirits slaughtered one by one
by the hand of those each should love. 
I wonder if at the last moment they had second thoughts
Is this the way to go ..isn't there a better way?
Perhaps dialogue or patience would have been better
Less lives could have been  lost ..less regrets to bear.....more hearts could have 
been won.
Yet the war continues unabated..send in more troops is what we say.
 Isn't there another way?
 Too many orphans left.. ..uncared for and grieving
too many tears have been shed.... hearts harden.
Prisoners of war......wounded and shell shocked veterans....... physically 
handicapped....mentally deranged....a terrible plight
both sides share the same fate....pain and sadness is all that's  left
no one wins yet the war never ends.
Love's  now a thing of the past
only anger and hatred remain 
 When, oh when will Peace prevail.


Details | Free verse | |

I saw you

I saw you in a dream I never had
sitting on a bench
in a depressing slouch
face strangeld with tears

I saw you in the days that are gone
swept away in the receding tide
during the duration of a colorless setting sun
a sad song sung that day

I saw you in the tears I've never shed
screaming to break free
desspretely seeking shelter from the storm
regret stabs at a broken heart

I saw you a thousand times today
though not figureaitve
a fatigued source of thought,
conspires against the truth

I saw you in the eyes of the others
heard your voice above theirs
as I wished that they were you,
my perfect painted picture was destroyed


Details | Free verse | |

Outcast

forgotten and rejected
I am the outcast
ignored by all abused by many
you see me every day
yet you see right through me
in your eyes I don't exist
another nameless face in the crowd
I am lost but will never be found
wandering aimlessly forever
unsure of where to go next
I am scared
but no one is there to comfort me
for I am the outcast
alone in the back of every room
there is one of us
you may not see us
but look hard enough and you will
don't look too long for I may look away
embarrassed and ashamed of something unknown
don't enter my world unless you are prepared
because once you are in there's no going back


Details | Free verse | |

Sympathize

Swallow me,
Like the air you inhale,
And exhale the broken pieces of my soul
To cherish me in you, 
Forever…

Swim in my eyes,
And drown yourself into my sorrow,
Sacrifice your life to sympathize,
Try to live my life of disguise,

Bleed like me,
Live in the reflection of my wounds,
Allay my pain
And cry my only remedy…
Sympathy,

Liberate me from myself,
To conceal my lonesomeness,
Free me…
Into you, and be my sympathy,

Let your words sedate me,
Bring the feelings we shared into reality,
Feel me, feel with me…
Don’t be my misery,

If only I can hurl the words
That bled in me,
To feel…just to feel
Some sympathy…
From you,
My destiny…






Details | Free verse | |

one eye open

She lay sleeping with hidden sorrow.
I lay at rest one eye opened.
My mind races for answers not yet asked.

This hurt is so deep. Hers or mine?
Life seems so sad for the young or old?

Would she end all so soon?
This love is not deep.
Selfish, coward, loser.

So young to leave and rest.
Leave me with one eye opened.

Life is not fair to some so young.
To take a life at ones on hand
is to leave a soul uneasy.
And sleeps with one eye opened.

Rest now beside to one who's 
love was not deep. Easy escape.
No tears, no sorrow, no pain.

Suns up now and yet another
morn  is the dawn.
As I arise time stands still,
to wipe a tear from the eye of sleep
For I now sleep with one eye opened.


Details | Free verse | |

Rock Baskin In The Sun

A rock baskin in the sun
Heart filled with warmth
Feels alive and safe
No care in the world

Clouds rolling in storm is near
Drops falling tears of pain coming down
Alone cold starting to drown
Puddle fills up soul lost

Drowning in a pool
Shed from up above
Lonely cold lost no breath allowed
Forgotten to be gone one more time

Sun shinning bright and bold
Water drying sadness sorrow goes
Felling the heat soul awakens again
Bringing the heart back to life

To lie and wait
Till tears fall again
Only to hope never happens again
The Rock Baskin In The Sun


Details | Free verse | |

All is not fair in love and war

People say that love never fails,
That all is fair in love and war,
But really, how do you know,
What love can or can not do?
And if all is fair in love and war, then
Why does someone always end up getting hurt?
I know my love will never fail,
Because I love you with all my heart and soul,
Because I would give my life for you,
And everything I am or have just to be with you.
However, I can not be fair to all
Because all is not fair in love and war.
I wish to hurt no one, so I don't,
But by doing so, I hurt myself.
My heart wants to be with you so much
And yet I wish to hurt no one.
So I don't, I don't confess my love for you,
I keep it locked inside,
And as a friend I stay by your side.
My love for you remains forever pure and unchanged.
I love you, Yes, I do, with all my heart and soul,
With all that I am and hope to be just for you.
My heart untamed and wild, dreaming of what if,
But it's cut in half by the love I feel for both.
My heart belongs to you but only half,
Because I gave the other half away to him.
Now I suffer for my love, for both are great,
But only one, I wish I could be with forever.
All is not fair in love and war,
So I love you both and suffer much,
Because my heart is wounded, torn in half.
I can not speak of my deep love for you,
I can not confess my feelings to you.
So I go on with my life pretending nothing's wrong.
Why must I go on without your love?
It's faith, I guess, that I suffer so.
It's destiny to love you so.


Details | Free verse | |

Just Some Highschool Math Problem

i am a possibility
of many possibilities
i am a ratio
an indecisive factor
in the rest of what this dimension has to offer

the world is a top
i spin it and predict the probability
that the end will equal the means
or perhaps surpass it
even if i never surpass this muck-up
these broken eardrums
and the inquisition of my empty head exclaiming empty words

and i don't even exist
especially to the solipsists, nihilists
and i no longer give a sh--
i am now officially some lazy apathetic prick

oh i could have been a possibility
but that possibility was so small
that you'd need a magnifying glass
and some tweezers

i am rust, oxified and tearing up
i am crust, the sh-- in the ring on the toilet
i am lust, but never just enough
i am bust

i am a loser without a leash and/or choke chain


Details | Free verse | |

Hot and Cold

*Hot & Cold*

“The Professional”
only in my eyes
supports
the temperature.
Mercury, rising above:

Boiling point of no return,
Injection,
Rejection,
like heartfelt tears
on the surface,
pouring of dryness
from the the deep
complete.
Bare
Plot
Both 
Dot
Cold
not good enough.

You stay,
Numbness against the impression
of adoration
wallows off
Venus, the frigged interiors of:

Freezing below zero, 
from my form,
Swallow knots
intent look 
nowhere to be found -
in the zeniths
radiation.
Core
Depth
Beauty
Death
Hot
I grasp it all.

The secret of you
I hunger!
Cannot have,
nowhere to be found-
no lease.
Stay…
A kiss so endlessly,
I need!
I want!
endurance
reassurance
your vibes
confused, 
not fixed
your placid
hallucination
during
muddy waters.
And still I may be smitten : -)

By;pd


Details | Free verse | |

Devil's Hidden Ranch

DEVIL'S HIDDEN RANCH

Coyote howl, dogs growl
Gunshots, dead cow
Red barn left unlock
Horse shoe upon death's door
Tequila in a cup
Salt of cocaine, shadows of insanity
Guitar string, sad song
Bandit near the door, wife on the floor
Hallucinating---Reality
Yelling out her name, he's gone insane
Loaded gun, life is done
Far and near ending his intoxicating fear
The road under the sun
A coward in his path
Responding to the Devil's wrath

In a Hidden Ranch in Mexico!!!!!!
       
:)   SKAT


Details | Free verse | |

If I Had The Guts

I know i have kept a lot from you.
I know its not fair. 
I know i should tell you.
I know i have to tell you.

Maybe i can tell you some, but not all.
Maybe i can keep it secret just a little longer.
Maybe i can hide it from you more.
Maybe i can get the guts to tell you everything.

Everyday, i wanna tell you.
Everyday, i hope i get the guts to tell you.
Everyday, i feel bad for not telling you.
Everyday i think about you.

Sometimes, i dont want to tell you.
Sometimes, i just want you to know it all.
Sometimes, i wish i never knew you.
Sometimes, i wish you were all mine.

If i had the guts, i would tell you everything.
If i had the guts, i would tell you how much you mean to me.
If i had the guts, i would tell you your the only reason im alive.
If i had the guts, i would tell you my biggest secret.

Just knowing that i love you.
Just knowing that you may or may not love me back.
Just knowing that i care.
Just knowing that you probably dont.

Breaks my heart.
Breaks my soul.
Breaks my dreams.
Breaks my life.

If i had you, my life would be complete.
If i had you, my life would be perfect.
If i had you, i would be happy.
If i had you, i wouldnt have to search anymore.

I know i should tell you.
I know its not fair.
I know i have kept a lot from you.
I know i should tell you.

But, i dont have the guts, 
The guts to tell you i love you,
The guts to tell you your the reason im alive,
The guts to tell you,
I need you in my life.


Details | Free verse | |

Agree to Disagree

                                               
                                               Mankind's greatest
                                                 accomplishment...
                                                       
                                                      

                                                      is death.


Details | Free verse | |

To The PE Teacher

I'm over it
I'm giving up
I don't have to do it
Yet you force me to like I'm a chump
I avoid it like an illness
You let it go
But today is the day
You took it no more
You didn't yell
Yet you exchanged insults
You hurt my feelings
That was the result
You called me a girl
You called me a clown
And if this keeps up
You're going down
Can't you see
I don't like PE
I'm not being rebel
But you scare me into anxitey
Just leave me alone
You treat me like a drone
You're not getting forgiveness
But you can get off my blacklist
If you cease and desist


Details | Free verse | |

Nobody's Child

Her chapped palms smell of
-ungrateful jasmine-
roughened by shrewd plays of world.
And in the creases of
- youthful forehead-
sleeps an orphaned childhood, old.

Among distasteful leering,
ineffectual rags of
-modesty cries-
unfortunate beauty trapped among
-lechers-
pawn broker and hawker alike.

-Nobody’s Child -
gazes high UP , at the
  S
  K
  Y
  S
  C
  R
  A
  P
  E
  R
  S ,
elegant unreachable stairs
winding beyond clouds yonder. 

S L O W L Y sighing,
At the dreams hidden, on the dark side of
half bitten moon.


Details | Free verse | |

A Flame Once Burned

It's chilly where the sun once shone,
Mem'ries haunt when I'm alone,
Bereft of joys that I had known,
My dreams all torn apart.

Scorched the earth where flowers bloomed,
The dust and ash my hopes consumed,
Hes'tations, doubts our passion doomed
Ere it had time to start.

I want in vain for solace dear,
It's dark where once the skies were clear,
When naught but what might be I feared
And the course our love would chart.

Promises broken, 
Words unspoken,
Deep wounds opened,
Eyes that cried.

Wrongs not righting,
Constant fighting,
Unrequiting,
Love soon died.

It's cold here where a flame once burned,
It's empty where for you I yearned,
It's dead and life will not return
To the cinders of my heart.



Written for "A Flame Once Burned" Contest
December 1, 2012
By: Daniel Beus


Details | Free verse | |

Laughter Comes 'round the Curves

When sorrow reigns fierce Within your heart's chambers Slowly dragging its feet Oblivious to your pain Listen to another’s story Give your time; lend an ear Soon, feel your heart lighten! And then you’ll realize, you’re not alone As you share each other's burdens Laughter comes ‘round the curves' See how fast crooked paths straighten And as laughter grows, sorrow fades ~*~


Details | Free verse | |

STILL

I have developed a temporary dislike of the things that I’ve convinced myself have been keeping you away from me. Mere substitutes that admitted to the murder of your mind.

This phone, and this 11 o’clock moon have slayed my reason’s for not just blaming your wandering eye.

Most of these nights I’ve tried Ctrl.Alt.Del.(ing) any ridiculous thoughts, by selecting all of the frequently frustrating things that know just how to push my buttons. I don’t know why I’m speaking in computer terms, but lately I haven’t been able to function quite right unless I’m near one. It’s the only way to get near you.

Most of these nights, this phone has been the entire left side of my brain, but now my mattress has memorized the rhythm to a ringtone it should’ve never been introduced to, and now the stupid cushion keeps me awake until it has made sure that I’ve felt it vibrating up my spine. My intuitive, creative right brain seems to remember being together with it’s brother each and every time I remember laying together beside you.

I wait for a wanting of your wanting. Muscle memories of warm bodies wrapped up in positions that make your mind say ‘what the ****?’ I am missing you. The you who remembers that the other members of her body are always here to help; no need to amputate a listening ear, or an gouge out an attentive eye. I still see you.

Sometimes, I forget that the phone’s main function is to send a signal of information to someone you can’t see. Whether it be via text, twitter app or vocally, you want to reach someone you can’t see. I still see you.

Sometimes, I swear I can see each of the moon’s phases during the day;  completely filled with life during the time when it’s nearly invisible. It’s sad though, because New Moon, you show yourself to everyone else except me on the nights I always expect to see your face. Is this a trick man? or have my eyes been gouged out already, and I simply missed the painful message via text, twitter app or vocally? But still, whether with two eyes, four eyes or no eyes, I still see you.


Details | Free verse | |

Grandma

There's not much to say.
I knew her, know some things,
but certainly not all.

I know how little she put up with fools,
how her cooking surpassed so many others',
how simultaneously sweet and hard she could be.
I know about her smoking,
about her jewelry, her faith,
all these I'll hold close to me.

Every single spark, every star,
shines with such a glow, such a marvelous radiance,
that we can't gaze too closely at it,
lest we cause ourselves pain.
And yet, despite ourselves, again and again,
we do;
because it's not within us to resist
the sheer beauty of it all,
of stories and of life.

A bouquet of tulips for you.
We all miss you already, Grandma.
I miss you.
I know Heaven's got you, taking no guff as always,
making sure we're all doing alright.
I love you.
Andrew James (McGillicutty) Sprouse


Details | Free verse | |

Weighed Down

I let the breeze whisper to me,
I want to smile, but I can’t
because tears want to flow,
but can’t

Just have this feeling that 
somewhere, somehow,
something
has died…
or at the very least,
is withering

and I don’t know
whether I can be there 
on time to stop it 
from dying?

Of whether I can resuscitate
it back to life…
might be too late though,

because damage has been done
Oxygen has already been lost

sad, really 

so the weight is there
and I can’t shrug it off.

The tears still don’t want to fall.
Such defiance.

So I just close my eyes.
Maybe, tomorrow,
the sun will shine again.



05032011745p750


Details | Free verse | |

Polly's Bench

It hides in the shade, as the leaves dwindle down.
The paint may be fading, but the seat is quite sound.

Some will sit in the shade, forgetting the tears,
without giving much notice, or to think of the years,
or to ponder the pain, that once rained on our world.

There was a black, tragic day, that cruelly erased
an innocent child, with a sweet, gentle face.

                   Traces of heartache still linger in place.
 
I rest for awhile, as I sit in the shade, 
while a breath-holding sigh returns once again, 
         Clouds cover the sunlight, that wants to pour in.

Something swept through the heart, of this small coastal town,
and still touches me deeply, in a personal way.
I watch from the playground, of this small charter school,
where my granddaughter plays in the cool, ocean dew.

I remember again, with a soft whispered prayer,
for the children who play here, perhaps some who will weep here.
To keep them in comfort, and in safe loving arms.
To keep every childhood from evil and harm.

Carved in the bench is a name of a child
A twelve year old girl, who attended this school.
It's the same little school, where my granddaughter plays
and learns daily lessons, every child needs to know.

So we sit in shade, on this sage colored bench,
then she goes to her class, where she basks in the love.
She has asked all the questions that shouldn't be asked
and spends all her days at the task of a child...
With smiles for her teachers, just as Polly had smiled
She runs through green grass, where Polly had been...

This is the school, where my granddaughter goes
She brought me to see, where a new garden grows, 
and showed me a bench that sits under trees

....and together we share, of what a child shouldn't know


I sit with her now, with the robins and finches...


We trace Polly's name, then our fingers embrace,
       in the shade of the trees... 
                                          ....on a sage colored bench





______________________
A true story....
     To see Polly's Story...  http://www.pollyklaas.org/about/pollys-story.html
_____________________________________________________

Was earlier submitted in the Contest: "Anything Goes"
But a story I felt I needed to tell........sad, but true...my granddaughter 
attended the same school  where Polly had earlier been a student.
A bench was dedicated in the name of Polly Klaas  in remembrance of that terrible event 

3/23/13  For Nette's contest "Take Two", by Carrie Richards


Details | Free verse | |

Darkbodied

Born through a child I was-
Fathered by none-
Raised by strangers-
Growing inside me-
An ineffable danger-
Entering life behind a closed door-
I strained to breathe-
Is this living?-
Aboded in a fleshly tomb-
I must be freed-
Cannot stay-
Though Ha'lel came for me-  
I have seen his revolving exit-

 


Details | Free verse | |

The Wall, The Wall

The Wall, The Wall

I
the world fades from my fingertips
like blood oozing from an open wound
the sky is ripped apart and full of thunder
and my eyes are twisted in pain

shut the door and lock me within
the light is buzzing and flickering
something is about to explode
or maybe thats just my soul

softly touch the wall and it corrodes
the white paint peels and turns black
and cracks appear on the surface
a garbage touch that ruins it all

for years the signs of ruin were there
building up behind fragile white walls
and now i sit here with an open chest
my heart nailed to the damned wall

and as the world fades from my fingertips
like blood from an open wound
the sky outside is bloody and tormented
and i cant begin to see my own reality

II
im so afraid that if i get up ill fall again
damned by the ghosts of the past
the flashing glare of reality looms larger
closing in on me and slapping me

if only someone could open the door
and let me out of this foreboding room
perhaps i could see more than whats inside
instead of slicing myself in half

remember it was your verse that ended me
slicing off my fingers one by one
it was when my heart was nailed to the wall
that i truly forgot how to feel

my sickening screams echo loudly
throughout the confines of my own mind
reverberating down my spine
and leaving me in a shivering fit

as the world fades from my fingertips
like blood pouring from an open wound
the sky outside has faded to a deep black
and i cant begin to see my own reality


Details | Free verse | |

- Human Trafficking -


    A little baby girl is born
    Dark hair brown eyes - so beautiful
    The mother weeps for her little baby girl
    Her fate is already determined
    and her mother thoughts you will never get
    She is the fifth child in the family
    One boy and four girls
    Mother and father are proud of their son
    Girls - makes no pride
    Three girls are already promised a price
    Human trafficking and child abuse
    How much is the fourth girl worth






02.02.2014
A-L  Andresen :)

(3 th in the contest)


Details | Free verse | |

Land Of The Desert

Little grows in this famished land,
its sad song eerily carried upon the wind
is seldom heard across a land spurned by nature,
as if, 
destined to be laid bare.

However, 
an indescribable beauty,
defiant of nature, is evident to those 
who take time to witness
what lies before them,
yet remain cautious of the danger  
this beauty contrives. 

Life survives precariously,
a testament to its resilience,
each day a challenge, 
this land of desert
offers safe harbor to none.

A sad song is eerily carried upon the wind,
each verse a warning,
enter this land of desert,
death alone is guaranteed.



Details | Free verse | |

Euphrates Lost

As an ancient Heavenly stream of life
Emerged to be under the sun,
Embracing our Earthly Eden
Where no Forbidden Fruit;
What made you gazing like a stranger
Of no past registered in history!?

Oh Euphrates! Could not ye remember:
That day when I was too young,
Beneath your tree of Passion,
With melodies of nightingale's lute,
You taught me an endless song:
Songs of Love
Songs of Liberty!

That midsummer's night and day,
When I was with Emily and Langston,
In the face of the sun, upon your mossy stone;
We were able to jump and giggle:
Swimming in Love
Swimming in Liberty!

This black-devilish day of no time, no sun, 
Or even a bit of a dead moon,
Where the sky is full of gloomy tears
Drizzled from heaven,
Streaming upon the land of no Garden,
Streaming in vain from Winter to Fall,
Upon the graves of no one died,
Upon the graves of no register,
Behind a bush of forbidden fruit,
I am alone crying in whisper!
Crying the loss of all
Kinds of Love
Kinds of Liberty!

Could you, Euphrates, remember!!?


Details | Free verse | |

Memories

 
My lips laugh/smile even in pain,
Whenever I remember those memories,
Those past moments,
Even for a moment itself,
I had got life with smile,
My days were in your lap/embrace,
I had spent my nights in your arms,
Today when I remember those moment,
Those moments force me to forgot all my sorrows,
My lips laugh/smile even in pain,
Whenever I remember those memories,
Those past moments,
You were putting your head on my shoulders,
You were hiding yourself by my chest,
By coming into my shelter,
Breaking/losing yourself in me like a glass,
Today when I see those scenes,
It vanishes the loneliness of my heart,
My lips laugh/smile even in pain,
Whenever I remember those memories,
Those past moments….


Details | Free verse | |

The jungle of my heart

The tangled vines of green tree limbs swing back and forth
as the tallest trees compete to out-shadow one another,
and yellow tigers crouch behind bushes wait for their prey to come along
and bite down on soft necks, the crake of bones- one second a cold meal
served on the long grassy earth of my deep heart.

Those tigresses prowl up and down the jungle plans
as the violets of the sun shine bright and violently-
as the birds sing song in skies so blue
my tired eyes have lost trace of those yellow tigresses
and that one big lion.

I prowl along the green covered roads,
hands in my pockets,
waiting for something-something, something-
but nothing, or no one or anything or anyone
comes or goes or comes;
and I sit and I wait on a bounded rock
waiting and waiting and waiting.

YET- those dreaded yellow tigresses never come, they never come,
and I have lost trust in those birds that fly high and sing songs-tweet-tweet.
Nor do I the sun, or the reflection of the silver laced moon,
not even a single twinkle of a small star-
nothing, nothing, nothing.
Never did I sit so long on that grey, bounded rock nailed to the floor of the green jungle
of my heart.

Love was eating up long ago by one or two of those yellow tigresses,
and I know it- oh yes I know it,
yet I stay, yet I stay and I wait- wait for something good.
as the jungle starts to burn down by men in orange hard hats
and bulldozers, I still sit,
and I wait- dedication for something out of the ordinary, I still wait,
for I promised someone, someone near and dear to myself,
and promise so near to the heart- that it cannot be broken (and I don't break promises)
So I wait- and if I shall die in this jungle of my heart- alone,
then so be it,
as long as I never break that promise.
Then may those yellow tigresses have their way with my body.

.2.23.2014.


Details | Free verse | |

what a sacrifice is called

In times of stress
In times of tension
In times of rough
I use it to fight down my enemies
I use it to defend my love
With my power, with my strength
In times of betrayal, in times of lies
In pages of cruelty
Are tests from God Almighty?
Will I pass or have I failed?
It is all written and I shall not be replied
But in mercy or in pain 
I’ll use it
I’ll use it to fight down my enemies
With my faith, covering my heart
With its power, I’ll guide them
I’ll protect them through
With it’s charm, with its beauty
No matter what It would take?
I would devote my soul to you 
I would cause a life energy transfer 
For you…. Just for you 
I’ll do the tasks that are impossible to make
I’ll live the life that would pain and hurt
For you …
For you’re breath taking eyes
For you’re injury healing heart
For you’re life sacrificing mode
It is you that I chose to give all things
It is you that will open your eyes again 
It is you that will run and enjoy your life
It is you that will bring flowers to my grave
It is me that will close her eyes
It is me that will blackout her senses
It is me that will be waiting for you 
In another place not in this earth
Be sure to be there….





Details | Free verse | |

A Sisters Tears

Broken hearts
Black as tar
A sister’s love burned away
Forever replaced with irreversible hate

Reach for light before the night forever takes
Your soul away
Fight the night, seek the light
Sisters’ love
Can be an unbreakable bond

A soul slowly baptized
In Lucifer’s detestation 
Chipped away until only the shell remains

Once sisters bathing in the rays of life
Separated, in pain, for losing the way
One sister reaching for the other
The other sister stretching her hand down

Down into the very depths of hell
Were Lucifer holds her very soul
And basks in the very pain
He so easily created

Lucifer prince of pain
King of darkness
Walks among the broken hearts
Seeping in his blackened tar
Until the shell is all you see
And the soul is but a memory


Details | Free verse | |

For Those Left Behind

(1946)

Walking in Sailor Fields
amongst the nettles
picking blackberries, the brambles 
cut deep savage the mind.
Yet the bowl to be filled the jam
to be boiled the bread of hope
to be flavoursome, while the innocence
of it all enhanced by the beauty of the place. 
The Village shimmers in idyllic peace,
while each evening from the east the veil of night
chases the setting sun, bequeaths it’s
heavenly sequin blanket soon to lovingly
cloak God’s very own.
Life had not changed all that much
in the place, except the men had returned
leaving their memories over yonder,
while some stayed away their bones to lie
within ‘Alien Soil’ 
Alas the hurt does not diminish,
for those left behind walking in Sailor Fields
amongst the nettles picking blackberries!

 For P.D contest any poem that has a 3rd place win.
 Chris D Aechtner Free your mind.  Contest.  3rd place


Details | Free verse | |

- TANGO - All Alone -


    Melancholy sets in
    and twist easily
    around the joy that is stuck
    in the glue
    It's hard to dance tango - without a partner





  10.04.2014
  A-L Andresen :)


Details | Free verse | |

Philokalia (Love of Beauty)

Unforgettable sweet horizon like the sleeping woman's hips...
Tortuous destiny whose yellow sadness tips
With centuries of sacred silence ;

After I pass the sacred glass beads through
Since the pink dawn and the sweet dew;
After I live "Philokalia", blessing the Lord's name
With one thousand sad prayers,
With faith that can move the mountains,
With complete devotion and obedience,
Silent like a statue of long endurance,
Could I remember her again?

From eternity, for ever had been
Above the waters without border,
The light of that very beginning in no world
And no time, but this cloud and the first Word
Who changed the trembling no time's order,
So that the paradise still mirrors in her eyes green…

Beard like our bishop, you'll wear: 
Lost you'll be for this world, my friend…
But your secret mad hope still moves like a lizard
In front of the rocks with human face.
With "Philokalia", your dreams will ascend...

Maybe, from heaven will drop a tear:
With bitter taste of grass and leaves of any honey September;
And the dawn with scent of woman will rest in no time's amber. 


Details | Free verse | |

The Autumn Affect

There's something unspecific about the autumn nights
A certain shade of color that uplifts my inner child's eyes
Beside a cashmere moon Venus and Jupiter shine bright
Complimented by a sea of blinking infinite twilight
The scent of burning oak lingers in the air from home made fires
Reminiscent of a time when this man was just a child
Careless and so free to dream and any dream to live
Like feathers floating across a field carried by the wind
As a gentle breeze blows through the leaves shivering delightful gloom
Unlike flowers of springtime the disheveled autumn vibrance bloom
Leaves crackle beneath my feet along the skeleton tree path
Where I try to find my peace or a song to make me laugh
The air is so much crisper and also soothing when I breathe it in
Underneath a starry sky and brighter constellations of Heaven
Amidst the trail I pass a lovely couple holding hands
While their children run aside frolicking in a playful dance
An old man and his wife admire the view from a wooden bench 
With smiles on their face as if nostalgia is still their closest friend
Its these specific autumn affects that bring me sorrows and joy
Reminding me of all theses things Ive wanted as a man since I was a little boy 
Its times like these that I wish I wasn't always so alone
Because I would light an fire with my family and call it home


Details | Free verse | |

The Kite

Am I the only one to think
that a kite is such a sad thing?

Flimsy...frail...
never really free,
forever tied to a string

Yes, it can soar indeed,
so high, with the wind taking it places,
almost making it forget,
just enjoying the wind rushing through,
lighthearted

The wind drops,
then it gets snared
among tree branches maybe,
or perhaps stuck on a roof or elsewhere

with its string all tangled and knotted,
almost impossible to untangle

if made with paper,
it should be lucky to still be intact,
with nary a tear

more often than not,
it gets ditched in the trash,
the price to pay for
its momentary freedom

Sometimes, though
perhaps a rarity these days,
there is that boy who makes
that kite from scratch,
whittles the sticks himself,
painstakingly forming that frame,
creating that kite with love

So when it does get all tangled up,
that boy still tries so hard to fix it,
to make it new...
never minding the cuts
he gets in the process--

That string not meant to tie down
that kite,
but a lifeline to the boy

But like I said, 
that must be a rare thing these days...

For I am one to think
that a kite is such a sad thing...
Flimsy...frail...
never really free,
forever tied to a string





** There are many of you who have helped me in my journey in writing, & my heartfelt smiley thanks to all of you but I'd also like to give thank you hugs and smiles to Chris D. Aechtner ^_^ I distinctly remember asking you about Sijo, wow when was that? 2 years ago? Back then, I knew I asked the right person--& from there, you've helped bring to light (& helped me appreciate) a lot of other writing forms, just talking about those forms was a blast, just you sharing some of what you've been learning along the way (& believe me, I've learned even a thing or two! can I just say this? I bet you'd make an awesomely cool teacher :D)-- from sijo, to limericks, to sonnets, to haiku and kimo, to than-bauk to that Grook! ook! Being mainly a free-verse writer, you've helped me diversify & that means a lot to me. So a heartfelt thank you :D 

oops. that wasn't a couple of lines?! lol


Details | Free verse | |

If Old Men Fought

An old man looking out his door,
gaze fixed on a distant shore,
reminiscing to a time, not of happiness,
or, the prospect of a bright future,
to when he was sick to his very core,
to when as a youth, he went to war

A time before infallibility had meaning,
patriotism and bravado the craze,
the future was still unknown,
vigor for life at its all time high,
a time for romance, partying, buying,
no thought of pain, deformity, dying

Too young to understand or question,
ship to foreign shore, medals abound,
will impress the girls next time in town,
sacrifice not temporary,
forever more,
a legacy etched into a wall, few will remember,
flesh shredded, burned, torn,
families mourn

A time, when he willingly went to war,
will happen no more,
all lost in youth, now unrelenting,
no blind obedience,
minimal risk,
long life, his number one ambition

As he turns back from the door,
he thinks of the youth,
here now, soon no more,
lessons never learned,
the call to war,
to common the roar,
complacency the mood,
another generation removed

The old man agonizes
over what was originally not known,
war is preventable,
life too precious to waste,
the solution simple,
his vision, maybe too late

Send old men to the front to fight,
arthritis, heart disease, poor eyesight,
let the youth enjoy their life,
his near over, its only right

Send old men, to the front, to fight
ask them to give up their life,
patriotism and bravado, still alive,
will and desire would not last the night,
old men do not rush to death in their twilight,
failure inevitable, the old man smiles,
knows he's right

Wars not possible,
if old men, are sent to fight


Details | Free verse | |

DEATH of the DEER

Chasing dazzled eyes of dew
Forests tickling greenness at my toes
Pebbles giggle lullabies in blue
Thirst is penetrating soul...

Echoed steps worries the skies
Violins long for their trees
Thunder without lightning shoots 
Wounded sunset bleeds on heart

Chased and dazzled, color-blinded
Grass turns sky and sky is dirty...
No more thirst, a deaf encounter
Hunters of my soul...and I...


Details | Free verse | |

The Breakup

Waiting. The minutes groan arduously.
Somehow, perhaps – my heart fails to beat
with the rush of your momentary attention.
Perched precariously on spikes
Flesh colored, yet artificial – 
Manikin fingers, fidgeting.
Mournfully drenched in factious apology.
Our eyes meet briefly, then dart with bashfulness,
Choreographed precisely. 
Words uttered repetitively from wine stained lips 
Fill the tortuous silence – hesitantly.  
Your hollow ghost memory, porous and unsubstantial.

'We can work at this, ' you finally choke
An unfamiliar innocence, grasping -
Your voice childlike in its simplicity.
And for a second, I recognized that old stranger. 
I muster a skeptical nod – and smile limply, dismissively 
Fingering the rim of my glass. 
'And deceive ourselves with promises made before?'
I winced with audacity – impatient of your feeling,
As the words ripped your heart out clean.
You clear your throat in an effort to speak -
Those words never did surface...
My acid tongue, an all too familiar indulgence.

I raise hesitantly, your gaze fixated as I shrink.
A tormenting embrace, clothing saturated in your scent
Sodden with tears unshed.
Humoring your touch with finality – 
An unspoken understanding sneered behind the mask.
Face taunt with incomprehension, as sorrow squeezed out the substance.
I avoid the depths of my black dying heart, defiantly.
Anemic with reluctance – I usher the door
A smiling parody of phantom reminisce -
Poisonous and seductive. 
An enormous tear got away,
As you lay fragile and broken – bereft.


I’m sorry.


Details | Free verse | |

Final Adieu

Final Adieu

Let another sun set,
Let another flower wilt,
Let another autumn cast its gloom,
Let another tear role,
As ye part, and bid
The final adieu.

Suyash Saxena
St. Stephen’s college


Details | Free verse | |

The Train

She’s walking past the tombstones,
Just came from her mothers grave. 
As she passes the last stone, 
her hand graces the top,
A chill shoots down her spine.
The wind is blowing her hair in every direction,
While the leaves dance around her ankles.
Tears are rolling down her cheeks.

She’d just been talking to her mother for hours,
Longer then she ever had before.
She explained to her mother how her life had been tumbling downward,
Her boyfriend for 5 years had just broken up with her,
When she thought he was going to propose.
Her best friend since kindergarten had just embarrassed her,
in front of everyone.
Just to take her spot as Queen of the School.

She hears the train coming.
She’d been looking for an escape,
An escape of her sadness, 
Of her embarrassment,
Of her LIFE.
And here is one, just being given to her.

Without even thinking,
She runs onto the tracks,
The engineer slams on the breaks,
Honking the horn all the while.

She grabs her phone out of her pocket,
Begins to text her father.
Just 5 simple words.
that will mean the word to him.
I’m sorry, I love you

She looks up at the stars shinning down on her,
then at the lights on the train.
She just keeps on staring, 
Without even thinking,
Her mind goes blank.

The horn is honking, 
While she just waits.
Her mind is beautifully empty,
While the train comes closer.

She stares down at the train from above,
While is halts to a  stop, just 100 metres away.
Her lifeless body now mingled with the tracks,
Just lays there,
Motionless,
Breathless.

She begins to regret, 
what she had just done,.
Her father wouldn’t be able to go on,
Her sister would be scared,
Her mother, if she were alive, would be ashamed.
To take a life, let alone your own, 
Is a crime, that can never be undone.
There is no punishment great enough,
To serve justice.

She wishes more then anything to just turn back time, 
To just erase what just occurred
To pretend it never happened.
But this is not like a simple fight with a friend,
Or a bad relationship,
This can not be erased.
Death is not that simple.

A bright light comes from above, 
A sudden rush of relaxation shoots through her,
Calmness surrounds her.
And then she lets go.
Her soul floats away into the night sky,
And it’s over now.

By Sierra Cowan
Written the Summer of 2009


Details | Free verse | |

The Bleeding Roses

Roses in the garden,

Roses in the world,

Barrened roses,

Roses impearled,

But now roses curled...

 

Peach roses show modesty,

Peach roses show gratitude,

However, they are often insincere...

 

Yellow roses seem to care,

Yellow roses show friendship,

However, they are often joyless and jealous...

 

Pink roses communicate sweetness,

Pink roses radiate elegance,

However, they are often unthankful...

 

Orange roses have desire,

Orange roses show their pride,

However, they are often impassive...

 

Purple roses are majestic,

Purple roses express love at first sight,

However, they are often repulsed and unenchanted...

 

Green roses are harmonious,

Green roses carry hope,

However, they are often unpeaceful...

 

Blue roses like dreaming,

Blue roses are imaginative,

Blue roses desire to know the unknown,

Blue roses are mysterious,

However, they are often elusive and unattainable...

 

Red roses are emotional,

Red roses are devotional,

Red roses are respectful,

However, they are often remorseful, sorrowful and mistaken...

 

Gold roses are occassional,

Gold roses like memories,

Gold roses are preserved,

However, they are often misinterpreted and confused...

 

White roses are pure,

White roses have innocence,

White roses are spiritual,

White roses carry secrecy,

However, they are often arrogant...

 

Silver roses are rare,

Silver roses like to grow,

Silver roses convert fantasy into reality,

However, they are often lost and uneasy,

But they seem unpredictable and mystical...

 

Black roses are mysterious,

Black roses are rebirth,

However, they often remain elusive,

They often symbolize death and loss,

But they are unpredictable and silent,

Though, they are often harmed...

 

Roses in  the garden,

Roses in the world,

Barrened roses,

But now roses swirled and twirled...

 

Although, now peach roses are lying,

Yellow roses turning jealous and browned,

Pink roses being unsweet and unthankful,

Orange roses being impulsive and compulsive,

Purple roses being repulsed and revulsed,

Green roses losing hope and harmony,

Blue roses being undiscovered and lost,

Red roses being regretful and voided,

Gold roses bewildered and confused,

White roses losing purity and innocence,

Silver roses turning black and unused,

And black roses silenced and unborn...

 

All there is to see are roses vanishing,

Roses burning,

Roses trembling,

Roses surviving,

Roses aching,

Roses battling,

Roses crying,

Roses suffering,

Roses drowning,

Roses drying,

Roses fading,

Roses trying,

Roses wiltering...

 

All there is to feel are roses withering,

In a bed of bleeding roses...


Details | Free verse | |

Liar

That’s how she saw me

A lying jerk
Filled with mal-intent
And inebriated twist of the devil’s tongue

She removed my smile
My patience
My need for her

She was a professor
with a Masters Degree in Investigative Drama

Drinking shots of animosity and scorn
From half-empty glass
Layered in a syllable abused tint

Sucking accountability, dry

She removed my smile
My patience
My want for her

Vials of sadness
Broken over mattress
Where I entered her
Into innocence realm

She begged for more
She begged me to stay

But, I was already marked from argument’s first revelation 

Because even when I held her hand
Even when I welcomed her into my arms
After being beaten for being her diamond ring’s shadow

Even when I brought her closer to peace
It wouldn’t ever be enough

My smallest mistakes would become Armageddon’s cry

My apologies
The tissue

She removed my smile
My patience
My trust for her

Because I
Was a piece of crap

An irregular painting titled: “The Bad Guy”

Messages of sangre coated angst
Going to wrong number

Her errors
Still made me see her as a precious woman
Waiting to regain her peace
Her identity

But I
Was a liar

A screw up

Our finish line had no ribbons
For she had already cut my c(h)ord

Silence
Cold shoulder
My only way to hold this peace

She thought she could leave me

But I
Was already gone

Her tears’ contempt made me let go
Fears’ discontent helped me confirm my Western sunsets

To
Fly

Fly
High

Fly
HIGH

For serenity’s wing behooves me to sway
Towards these winds of change
Solace will hold me on palm
 
As I wish with final prayer
That Karma
Goes easy on her

© Drake J. Eszes


Details | Free verse | |

A Lesson Learned

You all asked for my help I did everything in my power for you Now you have turned your back on me Used for your gain now you rid yourself of me I will not judge you, I leave that to the higher power


Details | Free verse | |

Girl Rising

Based on a true story from a television documentary on Human Trafficking...an international crime with participants from a broad spectrum of society...occuring on a daily basis. I have only seen documentaries on the trafficking of young girls between the ages of 5 and above!! Law enforcers, it seems are fighting a losing battle against the men and women who sell and enslave young girls and I have no doubt, young boys as well.

Somewhere this day on planet earth
A Mother-to-be, while in labor, cries
Not so much for the mounting pain
Nor the fear of possible death
So many fears for the future…
“What lies ahead in the coming years?
What “fate” will meet my child?”
And added to all her heightened fears is…
Will she be there to protect her child?

Those dark years have now passed into decades
When Tanya walked the shadowy streets of the city at late night 
While kids her age slept peacefully in their beds
They made her dress up so she’d looked twenty one
Days were spent locked in a room, under watchful eyes
She was fed cheap fast food to her young heart’s content
Soon she'd lose all hope of liberation
This was the second man she had been sold to
And after a while she’d adapt to the situation 

Still fresh in her mind was that last day at school
In her backpack was her favorite teddy bear
Her Mother had chosen to believe her step-father again
Now that her twelfth birthday would be in a month 
As no one cared, she decided to run away
While at the bus station she met this “nice” couple
Who listened to every word she spoke
They promised her a ride to any place she wished
And she’d always wanted to see Disney land

“Maybe, she thought, it’d be a birthday treat”
 However, that would be another promise broken 
Weeks dragged on and they bought her “stuff” 
Although treated well, sometimes she still felt alone
Then one day came the grown up clothes and make up
That night her innocence was stolen once more
Later she’d try to make an escape
Only to be caught and tied to the bed post
‘Make it easy on yourself and accept your “fate”, she was told

That was years ago, although it seems like yesterday,
When arrested by a new officer on the vice squad
Who saw the flaw in the picture before him
The pimp gave no reasonable answer to the simple question
‘Why are you parked late at night on the street corner with a minor?’
 
Looking back over the years, she came to conclude that “Fate” is just another word, made up to cast aside blame; when we do not want to see the path we’ve chosen which has led us to our present state
When Pilate symbolically washed his hands, though he had power in that moment to act..
When there before him stood truth and innocence, 
Yet, he chose to make a comfortable bed for his conscience

Today, Tanya is a college graduate and a Mother who has vowed not to leave anything to “fate”. She’d teach her children to take responsibility for the choices they make… 
She would teach them that no one is of lesser value than another..
 Male or female; black or white, all hues; rich or poor 
All have a God given right to live free!
~*~
8/03/13
For:  Richard's "Girl Rising" Contest

(3rd Place Win)


Details | Free verse | |

The Humans and I

Ones who wage,
Ones who rage,
Ones who take,
Ones who pay,
Ones who craze,
Ones who rave,
Ones who crave…

Ones who fear,
Ones who breathe,
Ones who give,
Ones who need,
Ones who will,
Ones who weave…

Ones who plead,
Ones who beg,
Ones who beseech,
Ones who entreat,
Ones who appeal,
Ones who volunteer,
Ones who disappear…

The ones who follow,
The ones that don’t know about tomorrow,
The ones who don’t deserve the morrow…

The ones who sleep,
The ones who cry,
The ones who live,
The ones who die…

The ones who proclaim,
Those who say they create,
The ones who ache,
The ones who don’t wait,
The ones who hesitate,
The ones who don’t concentrate,
The ones who fornicate,
The ones who procrastinate…

Those who fall in temptation,
Those who get in frustration,
Those who sometimes feel desperation,
Those who keep going without caution,
Those in motion,
Those in tension,
Those losing notion,
Those being poisoned,
Those getting in distortion,
Those following the broken diction,
Those dying like the billions,
Those without unction,
Those washed in the oceans…

I might seem cold,
But it is you who is bold.
I might not express,
But it is you who doesn’t let me progress.
I might not seem like I seek,
But it is you who doesn’t know me…
I might seem like I need,
But it is you who might always be begging on your knees.
I might seem dull,
But it is the one that is fool.
I might not be alight,
But it is you who isn’t truly alive…

I will remain neutral,
I will remain silver,
I will remain gray,
I feel darkness,
I feel light,
I will remain hallowed…,
After all, it is you who deserves no life…

I am a metal hawk,
I am a mountain goat,
I am a silver bird,
I am a gray wolf,
I am a white tiger,
I am a mystic rose…,
I am I…

I’m alive,
And I survive,
You are here,
However, it is you who deserves no life…

Being human does not imply that you have humanity…


Details | Free verse | |

More Snippets

I. Bleeding -- a world without comfort -- lost without love -- no destination... silently walk without touching wounds... where is love? II. Frail fingers grope... sodden afternoons... winter fog... through gray eternity -- cold eyes, delicious mouth. Found love will laugh, desire returning. III. Making love, we deceived ourselves. Complicitors, we lied. Compliant pawns, we defied danger, practiced brilliant fabrication -- but truth was stranger. IV. Others know desire: ever changing years -- and lifetimes -- reaching towards the moon. Love, be my way.


Details | Free verse | |

Invisible Ink

"My pen drips of sorrow and on this paper, I write each tear" – A Rambling Poet

Someone once said, “Write not what should not be read…”
He never knew what to do otherwise
for his pen was his only friend, and paper, his face
of which emotions made themselves known

Forbidden love touched his heart,
never knowing ‘til then that it could be 
the ink for which his pen would write

He seized that passion
and wrote ‘til his fingers bled, mindless of the pain,
numb with love.
The pain was superficial after all, just blood on skin
A flurry of letters that grew strength on secrecy…

Ah, but someone once said…
“Write not what should not be read…”

But how badly he wanted to be read…
the only problem is that word called
Betrayal.

Love reveals, love betrayed;
hearts betray, hearts revealed.

It was all a ruse,
to let slip secrets that were never meant
to be known.

The pain now draws from the heart,
bleeding him dry, reaching his soul
to dehydrate him some more,
‘til Death becomes his friend.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

She receives one last letter in the post
-a blank sheet, wrinkled…warped

Was it invisible ink?
On the contrary,
its message was loud and clear.

No words needed at all, just
pure sorrow of a heart and soul 
that wept

…her tears stain that paper now,
never enough to smooth it out.







August 14, 2011  149a219 
--nikko 
for Constance’s Just Write contest :)


Details | Free verse | |

Isolation

It was a little thing, at first, That hurt our foolish pride. But, soon, it grew To enormous size, ‘Til we no longer heard The words of regret. The silence formed a chasm Far too great For us to cross. So, we sat in loneliness And watched the isolation That took place.


Details | Free verse | |

A Nameless Baritone

An arthritic flesh

Hesitant wipes off deteriorated lens

Every exhale,
Another tragic sulk unto morrow’s pit
Flaunting suicidal fallacies

Off-white flag motions
Signaling mercy under liar’s duress

Muted pride
Cracking dusty knuckles

Penetration’s decrepit vowel
Slipping in between faulty, stamped licenses
Just to belong

Another back-handed waltz
Bordering beggar dialects

Untrue
Towards paradoxical epiphanies

A faceless identity
Converging amongst unwelcomed hymns
Tainting hallelujahs with discolored spit

Worming their decapitated fingertips
With equilibrium massages
Back to a barricaded oasis

Deciphers from a slanderous heretic
Proclamation of syllabic want

As arthritic flesh
Scribbles out expendable nickname
Manipulating good intentions to be sadistically validated

From their rendered nether

Nameless never inscribed a verse to call their own

Struggling to swim
In the rivers they cried

©Drake J. Eszes


Details | Free verse | |

Epitaph

“you’re killing me….”
words that I hung in the air,
a prophecy that resonates through sleepless nights
my heart said goodbye to itself
that chilling evening in early August
how sacred the hidden treasure of a wife and mother
how broken the memories 
how haunting the path not taken


Details | Free verse | |

Thinking Of You

I remember happiness,
No more,
No less,
Only true love.

I imagined,
You beside me...

I remember your eyes,
I remember your lips,
I feel your love,
I know your life...


Details | Free verse | |

The path taken ...

The path taken ...
                           Authored by Chuck Keys


One day I'll go for a walk and forget to come home
and lose myself among the trees and the gnomes.

I'll be dressed in my walking shorts, shoes and socks
ready to face the unknown world and all of its locks

alone and free, seasoned with age beyond my years afloat
unbridled from people and places and ready to emote.

The path will go straight and sideways, straight and backways
and bend to the left to secret hide-a-ways.

I'll be dressed in my walking shorts, shoes and socks
ready to face the unknown world and all of its locks

Lose myself I will, on purpose with forethought and glee
because that is what makes me, me.


Details | Free verse | |

over and over agin

sometimes i talk to myself, 
my mind is racing,
i dont know what to do...
so hard to explain.
depression isn't a stage
or a faze some kids go through
it shatters you...
i saw it all. 
she cried silent in her bed,
blood stains covered her favorite jeans,
her every shirt,
long sleeve ofcourse...
she suffered through it all with few people to call friend
and more to call enemy
even more to say where quite dissappointed....
FAT
her first name in school,
not started by a bully
or a mean rival,
but by her sister, 
and it echoed through her soul,
repeating in her mind... over and over again,
like the ripples of still water
when a pebble is dropped
flash frozen in time
repeating,
over and over again...
It was the first name they gave her,
millions where created over the years,
some unique
some repeating again, just as the first had..
gothic they called her,
emo, fat, ugly....worse things.
but in her mind, things where worse.
everything was repeating,
over and over again,
finally she believed it. 
she asked for help, from everyone
tried to explain to parents she wasnt well,
got called a psycho for asking to see a theripist,
not from a teacher,
not from a class mate,
but from her own father, who wouldn't, couldn't,
believe there could possibly be a thing wrong....
finally, crying, she confessed her bloody secret to a teacher.
rather then giving her time,
she is sent back to class crying her eyes out, as if she wherent going through enough...
she is sent to the principals office a few minutes later, after breaking down in class...
the princlipal says she needs help,
sends her and her dad for a risk evaluation,
her dads crying as she shows him her cuts...
they walk into a hospital room, 
it smells of chemicals and hand sanitizer,
the lady at the desk gives her a smile.
then she goes into a room with a lady,
her cheeks are sunken in and shes wearing way too much makeup,
the girl is gaging on her perfume,
and she looks really intimidating....
her dark brown hair looks dead and flat
even though its a bit wavy, 
and she wears somewhat of a mocking frown.
asks her all these questions,
is mommy beating her?
no
is daddy raping her?
no
is she doing drugs?
not alot
is anyone beating her?
pass...
did anyone molest her? 
pass....
oxcarbezapine, trazadone, citalipran, clinazapam, colonipan,
valium, lithium, more.......
and thats what they gave her,
more... 
some numbed the pain
some brought it out
tearing through her organs,
she became an addict by the time she was fourteen....
over dose after over dose
some for pleasure
some for pain,
gashes on her legs getting deeper,
this time she didnt tell a soul,
not even those she had come to call friends....
wakeup she screamed in her head over and over again
as she dropped weight like it was nothing....
you cant controll it she argued as things became worse. 
at age fourteen she attempted suicide,
she didnt quite succeed.
the medication took away her aappitite....
she liked it
she hated her body
hated herself
felt out of controll
found a new way to cope
as she shoved tooth brush after toothbrush down her throat
to keep her body from nuitrients...
as she whent weeks and weeks spitting food into napkins and making excuses 
I ate at my friends house....
spoken as a whisper
heard like a sentance
echoing in her mind over and over again,
along with that word, all the words,
FAT!!!!!!
ugy, anoying, stupid, fake, worthless, nothing...
one bite she would say
rocking back and forth
craving nothing but food
her body racked with hunger pain
one bite and there she was again
FAT!
over and over and over again
back to a toothbrush
this time she sees blood
she saw her ribs
she saw her bones,
it wasnt good enough,
she almost died, again....
choking on this deep dissappointment in herself,
gaging on everything they where pushing down her throat, 
their words, and their insults, their criticism.... their drugs
all shoved down her throat like candy
and just as she was was trained to do she swallowed despite the bad taste
or the hurt
or the fact that at the rate she was going she would be dead soon...
and you know why? 
because daddy yelled 
and couldnt accept what was happening
not because he wanted to hurt her
but because it hurt him,
and she let him believe,
because she could take the hurt if it meant he didnt have too.
because mommy didnt want to sit in her room all day
smoking weed
doing nothing,
practically having us raise ourselves,
she didnt mean to take anger, or frustration or hurt out on her daughter
she suffered everyday in her solitary confinement,
and from a young age she accepted her bedroom was the cage
 her mother had created for herself.
because sister didnt want to effect her the way she did
she was just frustrated
fed up with the way things where
scared, she needed someone to take her cruelty
and to help heal her pain...
because people in school
who where so cruel
had to have learned from somewhere
and she wasnt going to play into their games,
and they knew she was an easy target
because she would never attack someone so weak
and she accepted her suffering was a sacrafice
to help all these people....
to help her dad,
her mom,
her sister,
every person who was beaten abused or hurt
 and felt so weak at home they wanted to feel strong in the one safe place they had.
because depite the fact she had died inside,
and almost passed away on the out,
it was a saccrafice she was willing to make
so that no one else would have to feel that kind of pain,
and they all inflicted it and broke her down'untill there was nothing left but a shell
of somthing that could have been
and never had the chance
and why? 
because she would take it and wouldnt strike back,
because sometimes "just taking it"
isnt so much about the weakness not to do anything
but about the strangth not to hurt others the way they hurt you...


Details | Free verse | |

On A Lonely Bench

Sitting on a lonely bench,

Memories got me blenched,

Your heart I tried to clench,

Though, the rains got me drenched,

From hearts I needed to entrench...

 

Your words not retrenched,

From things I wanted to bent,

While you often tended to bend,

Without letting me mend...

 

You, I tried to fend,

You borrowed and erased te times I used to lend,

Manipulated and used by you,

Pretending to be a friend...

 

From hallows I scended

From errors you descended,

My life wished to be attended.

Even though, you got me expended,

My hands were still extended,

Even though, you got me offended...

 

The times I misspended,

You still condescended me,

Though, the changes were about to be impended,

I was still amended,

And I was still intended...

 

But, I was not comprehended,

Even though, you were condemned and untamed,

While I was aimed to be blamed,

Still, more thing you wanted to borrow and gain...

 

Although, this is the end,

The ways, I will paint,

For the pains to get unbended,

As I contemplate nature and life,

With memories that swayed and portended,

As my soul slowly transcended,

While sitting on a lonely bench...


Details | Free verse | |

GROUND ZERO

GROUND ZERO Today as I stand here, With your name engraved not just on stone But in the hearts of millions who thank you For not letting them cry, I feel proud that it was you… We wish you were here, There’s not a day we don’t think of you. There’s not a minute we don’t miss you. But we’re glad you ran into death So that a thousand others could walk into life. It was not your duty, You weren’t meant to be there, But you took it up, Did what you had to do As a citizen of the global world. The little ones will never know What a wonderful person you were. But they’ll always know that You were a hero… How you died for the greater good… Tears, grief, pride, longing - a blend of everything. Its been ten years, ten long years But the memory’s still fresh and cutting. It still hurts to know That you could be here had you stayed back. But you didn’t and that’s made you a hero. You ran straight into it While a thousand others were running away. Your death is history…. Millions died with you But you stand out ‘coz you made your choice. As I stand here, I know that a decade ago, today You were here somewhere, Running into a cloud of dust and ashes Searching for the smallest sign of movement To bring them back to life. Somewhere between the despair and hope You forgot to breathe… I pray every day that History would rewind itself Back to that fateful September morning, Not because I want to hold you back… But because I want to come with you… It would have made a difference. I know it would have… I know you’re with me In my dreams, in my daily life Laughing at my blunders, Guiding me through hardships. My guardian angel… On this September morning, Not exactly the same as before, Here I am telling the world That my twin brother died Saving the victims of 9/11.


Details | Free verse | |

instantaneous incarceration of the mind

there is a sound when you leave
all electricity is lost
all water is dissolved
all air is thinned out
there is a blankness as time passes
all age is tainted
each era is ruined
every period is murky
there is a change when realization comes
what matters drown
what is important suffocates
what is relevant becomes inanimate
the golden road is now blue


Details | Free verse | |

The Last Thing I Remember

“Anna, put on the shoes your dad gave you.” I obeyed.
He had given them to me for my birthday before he
Was taken away.  I haven’t seen him since that day.
But, mom tells us that we’ll see him again someday.

Melancholy had masked my mom’s face all morning.
My brother and sister sat on their bunks with sorrow.
It began to run and grow down their pale pastel cheeks 
As mom somberly told them…

“Your sister and I are going away, promise me you’ll
brush your teeth and always pray.  Peter, you take care 
of your sister, you’re the man of the house now.  It’s not 
that bad, oh my beautiful babies—don’t be sad. I love you!”

“Let’s go!” as the guard pushed me and my mom.  She picked 
me up and placed me in her arms then harmoniously 
hummed my favorite bedtime song.  Then, we walked into a chamber.
She said “Close your eyes” and that’s the last thing I remember.  


Submitted for Abe’s “Leather Voices” contest


Details | Free verse | |

A Quest of Love-w

She was the apple of her father’s eyes
Both of them lived in an illegal hovel
He mother left to marry someone else
Jobless father accepts risky tasks all.
Take tasks often dangerous and not cool
To keep his daughter well fed and clothed.
And then a time comes to send her to school
By a better school she was admitted.

But the child welfare workers interfere
Remove from his care sends to foster home
Can live with mother, legal guardian
None of them can live without each other
Desperate, did all to get her back home
What a quest of selfless love for loved one.

                       +++
August 30, 2014
Form: Free Verse
Inspired by the Taiwanese Movie "Cannot live without you" (2009)

Ninth Place win
Contest: No 13 by Linda


Details | Free verse | |

Glisten in the Moonlight

Your glorious emerald eyes 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Delight dances in the water
I watch it joyfully
You are set free from the cage...
You're like a dove soaring in the sky
You are the rain...
drizzling down in ecstasy 
A hint of ecstasy is shown in your reflection...
When you caress me... I'm relieved... 
From the stress that forced me in chains
I knew we'd be on the brighter side of tomorrow 
We're glistening in the moonlight 
I knew we'd become candles in the heavens above us
We're glistening in the moonlight
For a moment, I felt your presence...your radiant with sympathy 
I saw at first glance the dark side of you
Tonight, we'll be together and fly through the horizon 
We'll watch the sunset say its last goodbye...
We'll wave a greeting at the moon! 
We glisten in the moonlight...
What if I was as handsome as the lion...
Roaring with pride and pure courage
What if we were glistening in the moonlight?
Would it bring health to our bones tonight?
Would it make our heart rejoice and overflow with delight?
Would we be able to survive this horrifying plight?
Would we be shimmering like a candlelight?
We're glistening in the moonlight... (6)
Ohh...yeah...ooh yeah...ooh yeahh...
We reach to the stars and hope we can trace a shooting star
I feel the coolness run down my fingers...
We're glistening in the moonlight
You're the dandelions in the fields
You're the gorgeous view that I marvel at everyday
When you kiss me, I live my dreams
We glisten in the moonlight
In a quick moment, I sense a feeling of endless renewal 
I roam inside of your illuminating maze 
Glow on... sunshine... 
Glow on...sunshine...
Glisten in the moonlight...
Listen to the truth and rub it in
You are ravishing like the sunset
But you're ascending while I'm descending
I feel extremely guilty
I wish I could glisten with you in the moonlight
You're glistening in the moonlight (6) 
Ohhh yeahh... oohhh yeahh... ohh yeahh
You're glistening in the moonlight (4)
We go our own way
I wish we can glisten like the moon
Glisten like the sun 
There's a dream concealed inside of me...
Reveal your light and pour it upon me
You glisten in the appealing moonlight
While I'm subsiding... you're fulfilling your dreams
Of gliding across the horizon 
You're independence... keeps on scorching with satisfaction
While I'm below you... 
Your emerald green eyes
Stared me down like a hawk...
Your emerald eyes
Gaze down at me genuinely...
I wish we could flee together in reality...
That could be a possibility
To glisten in the moonlight in glee
We were glistening in the moonlight (3)
But that was only a dream...
I'll pray that it turns into a reality
We were glistening in the moonlight 
Now, I've misplaced my delight...
Will I ever experience such a brilliant night?


Details | Free verse | |

I'm Not Angry

I'm not angry because we broke up,
I'm sad because I can't let you go..
I'm not angry at you for not loving me,..
I'm angry with me for still loving you..
I'm not angry that I lost you,..
I'm sad because I once had you..
I'm not angry that I can't have you,
I'm sad because I know what I'm missing..
I'm not angry that you've moved on,
I'm sad because I can't..
I'm not angry that you won't come back,
I'm sad because I keep hoping you will..
I'm not angry because I hate you and don't want to,..
I'm sad because I miss you and I love you...??


Details | Free verse | |

THE NIGHT FALLS

I first lived in Brooklyn  
I later moved to queens

It was a struggle all we had to
eat was white rice and beans .
My whole life I watched people 
slit throats to chase their dreams. 

Gun shots was my alarm clock,
and the constant sound of ambulance
reminded me to cherish life To cherish 
a breath that many may never again

Mama always said don't keep friends to close, men will deceive you, 
I said yea right mama I don't believe you, until my friends turned in to snakes and snakes turned to lions and lions turned in to poison apples and then turned in to snakes again, moving in tall grass and took a big chunk out my ass and left a scar that will last,  
that's when I learned how to heal my own  wounds and take out my own trash  

I grew up to soon
I had to be a solider  
I had to be a goon 
to deal with these buffoons 

late nights, coming home drug addicts
would be stretched out on the steps ,
with a needle in his arm it wasn't anything 
new I continued to walk ,crossing over his 
body shaking my head

I knew he wasn't dead, it was just all the 
drugs that messed up his  head,

the hall way walls had dried 
blood stains and dried gum. 
The floors had empty cups, 
smoked cigarettes,empty 
weed bags and condoms.

A little kid walks by and asks what's that?
Her mom says its a balloon.
Knowing that shes growing up
and she will know far to soon 


The elavators has graffiti with 
small drying puddles of urine 
but I became immune to it
I stood at the corner


I slept on the floor with out a pillow for my head
I said it was better off being dead at least in the
coffin they give you cushion for your head...


To be continued My pen is to DRunk.....


Details | Free verse | |

Need-Did

Water drop
Anguish
Cries
Out

Did I need to taste your sorrow?

She drowned me
While screaming fixated curiosities
Why I would not return

Oblivious to the obvious

Dilapidated wonder-wall
dripping concrete uncertainty

The fusion of incomprehensible dependency
retarding mass exodus of heart

As she cries all over again

I become a ripped towelette
thrown over her tattered neck of loneliness,
rushing into enigmatic corazon

I embrace familiar barrier
blocking out ultraviolet massacres
speaking subdued tongues,
another floating perdition
needing
a new painting against recycled canvas

Sweet dreams made
of
nothing

Did I need to taste the desolate madrigal
that I see running towards conundrum's savior,
still ready to love me tomorrow?

This heart is full.

I remove her weeping moon
searching for crescent bounds,
riding precipitous eclipse

My ears lie against vertigo's throat of irregularities
As she begs for the liar to return home

Because I always mattered
in the end

Allegedly

© Drake J. Eszes
"Forever will a scar remain upon broken ties. Memories serve to both assure and ruin in my eyes." -Anonymous


Details | Free verse | |

SHADOWS

City lights Are growing dim As music in the hall Slows down. And, lovers . . . Holding close . . . Dance to rhythms Of swaying shadows On the wall. In the streets, I see the lonely ones Who stand in shadows tall And tremble . . . From the fear . . . Of empty rooms And, conversations Not returned.


Details | Free verse | |

Autumn gold

Autumn gold 

on TV - the weather – guy 
predicted enthusiastically

a lot of sun and a blue sky
beautiful warm late summer days 
during the upcoming autumn break

he did not know
for sure
he did not lie
probably

the ticking on the window
sings a different song
the clouds are sharing 
nothing but rain

I have to go out
before the rain stops
into that wet world
into the cold

would it help
if I remembered
would it be different 
if I could touch
the autumn leaves
made of sunny  gold 

©Ellie Daphne van Stralen 2011-12

"Just" complaining about the weather..... or??????????

Third prize winner @ Poetrysoup-conest Üp in the Air" November 2012.


Details | Free verse | |

Carrie at Cafe du Monde

Her voice was soft on the telephone
She had gentility, like the part of the city she once lived

We talked of tragedy and chicory coffee
My friends had told me the situation was still grim

I asked her of Galatoire's and Brennan's
Of the Ninth Ward, and of her home

While I, pining and homesick, sipped coffee the color
Of the mulatto Mississippi River. . .

So polite and patient she was
For one who had lost everything





Details | Free verse | |

Gunpowder

Tha frozen flowers are being painted 
by an unknown painter.
The butterflies are looking for gunpowder
in the winter
to burn themselves,
to burn these beautiful frozen flowers.

A Chaotic Circle with the power,
with the guns and gunpowder;
It confines everything except stars.
I want to brake these bars!

Without love our only chance is a miracle.
Can we save the butterflies
from this vicious circle?
Can we change the smell of gunpowder?
Can we change the world?


Details | Free verse | |

Conspiracy: Who Killed The Easter Bunny

A crowded table, all suspended in shock 
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman
SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!


Details | Free verse | |

My Love

Don’t know why, everywhere I look,
My eyes look out for just you…
Whatever was present ever,?is still here today, 
I too am standing here,?yet you are the only one missing,
My love… if you had to break my heart,
Then why did you take it anyways?
My love. Come for just the last time,
Sadness hovers all around,
Shade of relief in sight,
On burning sand I wander,
Just in the search for you,
Why did my dying dream?
End up on the brink of search,
Now I just pray that,
I get my share of love,
There was this doll made of glass,
In love with a stone heart,
She broke in such a way,
There’s nothing remaining in hands now.
The heart looks out in there,
Where we made promises,
And worshipped each other,
Yet I stand-alone there today…


Details | Free verse | |

Shantytown

Rising sun out of the east,
Falls on the early morning on Riverside,
A shantytown just yonder of Laiser Hill,
A posh estate under Ngong Hills, 
And there on shanty Riverside,
They wake up like they always do,
It is another day that may brim with trouble,
Still it is another day nonetheless,
And so they hurry along like they always do,
They might earn a dollar or less today,
And just barely feed the little mouths tonight,
But at high noon high the little mouths will wait,
Maybe the noon high will go down easy today,
Let their hungry tongues patiently wait,
Till Mummy, maybe Daddy comes home,
With that dollar or less for tonight, 
If not it will be just like like last night, 
Little tummies grumbling in the night,
Little limbs trembling in the cold,
That is life in shantytown.


Details | Free verse | |

To my daughters

To my girls
I want you to know
That I see you
As equals on every level
Not just my daughters
My little pink princesses
I see you as young women
Powers within this world
With oceans to offer
A lifetime still to learn.

Live your lives
As though I was still with you
Be free and fearless
For you can see
Life is so short
Take all opportunities
And shape them to your dreams
You have all the tools
And I will be watching over you
Be good to one another
There are only two of you
The strength between sisters
Is a bond for life.

Your analytic minds
Will help you make good decisions
Fair and just rewards will ensue.
Your radiating hearts
Will gift you many friendships
Maybe special love
All in good time.

You will never be alone
For you have a deep sense of self
This will be fortified
With my passing
Your feet firmly planted
Will serve you well
Balancing the ups and downs
because that's how life is.
Always be true to yourself
Life will be true to you too.
Do not mourn my death
I am not going far away.

My illness has progressed
My time is nigh
There is a greater plan
One we cannot see
But we have had a great life
As mother and daughters
Our journeys together
live on in our memories.

My loves
I will hold you safe
In my heart
Now and forever
I will always be with you.


Details | Free verse | |

My Future Generation

I can act insane
But DO NOT 
Make me feel worthless

I belong in God’s family
He will bless my future generation

Don’t punish me for
Being myself –
Don’t envy my glee 

I can act like an
Adult, but I’d 
Prefer to have joy…

Not stress…
That piles upon us in our 
Everyday lives

Being childlike is

A rare beauty – 

No one prizes it…

No one came across it…

In this lifetime…

I can laugh all day
I can make you smile
If you’d accept my 
Childlike dreams of mine
Don’t treat me like a sick swine

Renew my young heart
Give me the ability 
To kill the old man…

I have my place in God’s family
He’ll be adored and glorified 
We’ll exchange prayers and hugs  
By my future generation

I beg of you – 
Don’t kill my childlike mentality
I’ll behave myself…
I’m positively sure that I’ll make you happy

I’ll still have pieces of a child in me

And pass it on to my future generation…


Details | Free verse | |

Black widow murderer

Unwittingly sucked in
entangled within lifes cobwebs
poisoned wrapped and saved for later

Until satisfaction for hunger is needed
preyed upon with slow satisfaction and pride
despite the deceit and trickery of enticement

Faced with soulful persecution of honesty
reality and truth to be lost forever
whilst deceitful one is admired

Displayed devouring of specimen
No trial nor retribution, let others fall fate
alas before finished – destiny will strike

Poor black widow will choke
own untimely death from own grip of life
suffocating truths stifled now smothering


Details | Free verse | |

Running

Running,running,running,
Why are we running?
Were running from here to there.
What is here, and where is there?
Here is now, there is, there.
What is there?
There is when.
When what?
When I shall be out of now.
Do you want to be out of now?
Oh, how I long to be out of now.
Why do you wish to leave?
It's a long story.

Running, running, running,
Not as fast as we were.
Why have we slowed down?
Hope has diminished.
Why did hope leave?
It is not all gone, I still have some 
   left.
Why did some leave?
It is not all gone, I still have some  
   left.

Running, running, running,
No more,
Why have we stopped?
Hope is gone.
Why did hope leave?
I have run for months and I have not 
    reached when yet.
Is that why hope left?
I give up because hope left.
Or did hope leave because you gave up?

Dying, dying, dying,
Why do we die, and yet live like this?
We die because there is nothing left 
    to live for.
Can't we still reach when?
No, I can't run.
Can't we walk?
No, I can't walk, can't run, can't 
    crawl.
Can't live?
Because there is nothing left to live 
    for.


Details | Free verse | |

IN THE LIBRARY OF LIFE

I am a book filled with a lot of pages
Turn me and turn me, each page is filled
There is joy and sadness
There is rage and peace

I am sentences
With each line I command 
I flow in and out of every page
Causing shades of color across the canvas
 
I am words of power
Forming, breaking and giving life
My tongue swirls around in my mouth
Bathing in its pool of seduction
Ready to form its next adventure


Details | Free verse | |

Virginity

Today I decided 
To bring company 
To my mandatory session 
Of therapy 

I hope this poem 
Doesn’t offend 
Anybody who decides 
They want to read 

This topic may be a bit 
Touchy or confusing to some 
Who like to sit and pretend 
Or play dumb

What if you have never 
Had control over loosing 
Your virginity 

What about the girls 
Who had it taken unwillingly 

What about the chesters 
Who plot times and wait 
And resolve to touch 
And never penetrate


Should a girl call herself 
A virgin 
Even if she doesn’t feel like 
She still has her virginity

What about the boys 
Who swear in secrecy 
To the archdiocese and priestly men 

What about the girls 
Who are sold into sexual
Slavery 

What about the family friends 
Who take prizes from children
Too costly for them

What about the moms 
That remember in infancy 
The horrible atrocities to great to tell 
Of things that happened 
To their precious baby girls

Someone needs to invent 
A new definition
 For virginity 


Details | Free verse | |

Tell Me Why

Why?
Why?
Why?

Tell me why?
Tell me why?
Tell me why?

Was it, because I was too nice,
I was too much of a gentleman,
or was just too much to handle?

Was it, because you were young?
Was it, because you couldn't find your heart,
in all that darkness?
Was it, because you just didn't feel the love?

Why?
Why me?
A man like me, deserves no pain,
no heartbreak.
So, why me?

I pray and ask the Gods,
why!
But an unresponsive god never speaks to me.
He sits there and watches... watching what?
Nothing, but a heart being torn to shreds.

Was it, because I was too careful?
Was it, because I loved too much?
Was it, because one half of the heart couldn't fit the whole?

I ask you, because I still love you.
Come to me, my beautiful,
stop this nonsense,
I cannot make you love me,
but I sure can try to show you love.

Do not blink,
do not take a gift sent down from the Gods
for granted.
Appriciate what you have,
appriciate me, because one day,
when you need a shoulder to cry one,
you will not be able to find me, anywhere.
I will be lost,
in a fool's dream of romance and love,
that will never come on my front doorstep.
Still dreaming of the possibilities of you and I.
My heart is with you always,
but I will soon expire,
so do not wait too long.

-10/5/2013


Details | Free verse | |

Speaking up

Come out with all in mind
Speak up what all in heart
Share and care, talk and walk
Then What???
No solution just arguments
No happiness just sadness
Moments all shattered
Life seems meaningless
No ways to retrace back
Mend all wrong happened
Speaking up…is such a pain?
Retracing back…not always an option
But moving on in spite…becomes the choice.


Details | Free verse | |

Museum of Contemporary Life

Lazy afternoons on easels
Maples giggle loud with sweetness
Blue and yellow mixed in grasses
Withered wrinkles sink in lilies

Joggers run in fear of dying
Secret trails end in abyss
As the sun stabs days in prisms
Bloody madness grabs the paintbrush

People old vanish from benches
Emptiness sits down by me
Artists mutilate self-portraits
Tempera in tubes succumbs

Painters shoot apocalypse in veins
Signatures escape through keyholes
Night becomes obsessive pitch black
Ghosts invade museum closed

...and I walk by with my suitcase
as reduced to it I am...
No one knows I carry homeless
The Portfolio of my Fate...

copyright@iolandascripca2012


Details | Free verse | |

still.............

still the sad site for sad censored people I see

still a site for mindless and glib poetry

still the formulations of J Rhyme numb and co

still the fatuous minds without a dictionary

or a thesaurus for that matter

still the same awkward attempts at self entertainment

and the unequaled, lets pat each other on the back   

still the sad and sorry farcical face of poetry

with the glib lip service you pay

still the oh so premium membership

still your tweadle de and twoddle dumb

you wonder why

all the good poets

left


Details | Free verse | |

Love Hurts - a shanzi

hairy white hands
clenching into fists

jaw tightening quick
I step backwards

his eyes throwing 
sparks my breaK-ing 
nose, my broken heart


7/16/12
For the "Shanzi" contest


Details | Free verse | |

My Best Friend Doesn't Speak English

I have a best friend.
He doesn't speak English, but
He lets me ask him anything-
He's got big brown eyes that watch
As the world goes by like falling stars-
He just watches, always watches...
He's too warm for North American winter,
Shrinks from snowballs like firecrackers,
But then we go for ice cream, eat it
Walking in the park-
We complain about how cold we are
But love the taste of the open air 
Too much to go back to the car yet...
Besides, maybe he's only a little 
Taller than I am, but he's still
Big enough to shield me from
The worst of the wind chill-
He seems bigger here, somehow,
Taller among the trees...
I ask him what he dreams of,
He says, "De Guatemala."
I ask him what he dreams;
He tells me about the coa-coa trees,
Orange trees, mango, tangerine...
How he lived by a river,
Went swimming every day
Since it was always summer-
Tells me until my head is full
Of so much color that I wonder
How he can stand the oppressive
Weight of so much of gray...
It's been gray for so long, here...
He tells me how when he's sad
He always comes to the park
Because the trees feel like peace.
I ask him why he gets sad-
He says sometimes, he misses home,
But sometimes he doesn't know...
But that's okay-
Sometimes neither do I...
My best friend and I decide
To come to the park 
Together more often.


Details | Free verse | |

Unwanted One

One much given
to introspective self absorption,
little inclined to action,
I record this plaintive piece.....
The years go by and, though I age,
I am still the lone, unwanted one.
Early it was I learned
to embrace pain, or to avoid it.....
never to invite, through any expectation,
added disappointment.....
always penning solitary lines,
mere mental meanderings.....
My drab world,
all dry sand and clouded sun,
sparsely populated,
was a nearly vacant, arid desert.
All my laurels for achievements
I, and others, immediately devalued.
Nothing I did could
be worthy of a lauding.....
no good could come from
an unwanted one,
one outside the pale.....
not from such a joyless one.

The years go by, and still,
I am I.....
the lone, unwanted one.


Details | Free verse | |

Dysfunctional Dreamtime

                                                             1.

A red helium balloon
                                   I float above myself,
Watch the ritual unfold:

                                   Gather the sharps
                                   Lay them out
                                   Roll up the sleeves
                                   Enfold the world in silence.

Then, with infinite concentration,
The Not-Me begins:

                                    Draw the lines
                                    Open the flesh
                                    Let out the hot red
                                    Pain and Poison;
                                    Inscribe another testament
                                    To survival.

Then the balloon drifts down
Sleeves roll down
The Not-Me steps into the balloon
                                    And floats away,
And I become myself again,
Purged and Whole

Until the next time.

                                                               2.

A wraith,
I live on air
Insubstantial as the Winter's mists.

I am colorless
And blank as perfect ice, as cloudless sky
Yet I command all appetites,
Control my ghostly shape
Against all outside assault.

My Will is wind,
Invisible and Absolute.

A reed,
I bend but never break.

I may be fading, fading...

But the steel rod within the mist
Shines true and will not yield.

                                                               3.

Peel back the flesh
The flowing flesh,
And see the Void within.

I am large but I am empty,
Hollow as a gourd, a husk.
Tear me and the taut surface
Will collapse upon itself.

I hunger, ever hunger
For the things that fill others up 
And keep them satisfied.

                                                     And so I eat.

                                                     I eat Love, Acceptance, Self-Confidence.
                                                     I eat Hate, Loneliness, Rejection.

And ultimately,
I consume myself.

                                                     After all, 
                                                     Who else could stomach
                                                     The taste of me?


Details | Free verse | |

The Devil Walks

The devil walks 
gets tired
and sits,
and while the devil sits
the devil picks up a tired fruit
rotting, and with jagged nails he peals
slowly, the tender fruit bruising
and he tastes it, smacking his dried lips
and the devil eats
decayed fruit and sour wine	                 nothing lush and sating
then the devil rests
and resumes his walk,
and later the devil sits again
rubs his feat
and goes to bed
and in the morning
he breaks his fast on curses and lies           nothing so filling as figs and nuts
and begin the devil’s walk again,

his walk
on the road our thoughts paved
where all that grows is bad and unwell
to the cross our words built
where flames dance and all is unwell
and he is condemned
upon christening
upon the hearing of his name
and the wobbling of his first steps
to walk a road less traveled,
to be the leader
of our very own crusade
armed with words
against himself
to see him burn,

our crusade of one
and many
on roads first paved upon his birth
to bring the devil down.

The devil walks
The devil eats
and pelted by our stones
He does but sleep
For what we sow
The devil reaps

and there is justice in punishment
there is reward in reckoning
there is bitterness in my mouth
as I say these words
and pity
              the devil
his due.


Details | Free verse | |

The Empty Kleenex Box

I reach for another Kleenex.
The box sits empty on the shelf.
Have I really cried that many tears?
Has my life turned into a sad tale?
Have all the tissues floated down a river of lonely tears?

The time for crying has ended.
I will lift myself.
Poke out my head.
Had not the sun continued to shine in my absence?
My friends cried with me for a while.
A few of the tissues where crumpled in their hands.
Still I was not to be consoled.
What choice did they have but to leave?
In fact I was so sad I barely knew they were there.

So now I rise.
Lift my eyes to the sky.
Let a gentle breeze dry my face.
Smile with thanks for a new day.
For in the end
a river of tears and tissues is enough.

The Empty Kleenex box contest 
Sponsored by Craig Cornish

Still some entry spots left, join in the fun/sadness.



Details | Free verse | |

Oragami

A smile becomes too hard too hold
When waterlogged and under pressure
So my face crumples in
And folds up into new patterns
I've never never let you see before
Transparent as rice paper, delicate;
Not so graceful as a paper crane
Near as fleeting as a paper boat
Vanishing downstream


Details | Free verse | |

My Frozen Reflection, My Changed World

My tusks are sharp, like a warrior's spear.
I see clearly and only feel one thing, fear.
Frozen deep in this field of flattened glass,
I had to watch my unfulfilled dreams pass.
I have always known the snow covered land
that now morphs and changes behind my own,
Innocent eyes. But a weight of a stone, 
that can crush an entire army; then I remain alone.
I feel cold, my spirit sold,
lurking beyond me, rotten and old.
Out of reach, with so much to teach,
jerking to become free, begging for speech,
my young ones, my family shadows,
trapped behind a glacier of gallows,
The temporary apocalypse of merciless ice.
I wish I had warned them.

-Caroline Youngless


Details | Free verse | |

Reality of Domestic Violence

I am silent although this monster
of my isolated life seems to hear
my thoughts, smell my fear and
taste my hate.
Suddenly I am pushed against
a wall gasping from utter pain.
Held by my neck I feel a fist
clashing against my tender face.
I fall, blood pours from my mouth
and now cracked lips.
I try to run but I am stopped with
my hair being pulled with such 
force that I scream from the 
top of my lungs.
It drags me to the bedroom,
my face constantly in pain
from the ever repeating hits.
Suddenly I feel my legs being
widened, I scream once more.
I struggle to close them,
tears of pain and utter hate
rapidly run down my now
swollen face,
they burn my wounds like acid.
I feel something penetrating 
inside of me, I scream once again,
it is of no use, no one seems to
notice or simply hear.
It pulls itself out of me and kicks
my tender side,
still I lie here on this floor feeling
dirty and ashamed,
ashamed of my own self and
weak mind.
I shall never escape this monster's
presence for he has eroded my 
free will and inner strength.
Fear controls my thoughts.
Until I embrace the truth my life
is impounded by domestic violence,
never to be freed,
never to be seen and never to be
one with the glory of hope.


Details | Free verse | |

March of the Barefooted

When Suns are young and we are born
Not needing shoes to kick the womb
A maze of mirrors, gates to the unknown
Erects us tall blinding hearts with hopes...

And we pretend we know the way
Although  there are so many lefts
The rights are few, we change our shoes
The thickness of the Soul.?..depending on the distance...

"I close my eyes, my boots are tearing flesh alive
I have to walk and cry for miles and miles
There is no turning back, the lefts are few
Straight forward? Bullets... Upward? An eagle and the sky...

I fight a desert that's not mine to quench the thirst in few"
A maze of foggy mirrors shatters rhythmically in  echoes...
And sons were young when blinded by uniforms and pride
Their stolen boots walk now eternally......for miles and miles....






           




Details | Free verse | |

Bao - Yu

<                                         Bao - Yu
                                        precious jade
                                    your angelic font 
                                  cast mirrored images
                                      off stilled pond


                                  orchids in woven hair
                                  garments of satin and lace
                                  you lying in fetal position
                                  upon granite's stone
                                  tell me heavenly Goddess


                                  Why Do You Look So Sad  ?




Written By Katherine Stella

For Rambling Poet's
Reflection Contest 

G.L. ALL

Name Of This Poem 
Is Entitled
Bao -Yu


Details | Free verse | |

Betrayed

The thought of all trusts,

Was it all just rust?

The thought of all confidence,

Was it because of your insolence?

The thought of all friendship,

Was it all just dissonance?

Was it all just lies?

 

The thought of all immanence,

There was no innocence,

Was it all just imminent trust?

Was it all your fickleness?

Was it your falseness?

Was it enough faith for equivalence?

There was fading ambivalence...

 

Was I blinded by wistfulness?

Was i blinded by your words?

Was it your defiance?

Was it all about rebelliousness?

Are we going to be strayed?

Were we going to divagate?

Was I being a black swan?

 

Did you want to disarray?

Did I need to back away or just run away?

I was being manipulated over again...

Kindness is hard to give now...

Did you want to lead astray?

Are you really a friend?

 

Did you want to push me away?

Did you want to cut me away?

Did you want to break me away?

Weren't we going all the way?

You are going too far away...

You were just looking away...

 

With my tears shedding,

Will you just turn away?

Might I just fall down?

Must the world just fade away?

Was it all just waste?

Was it all already traced?

Was it all degrading?

Are you corrupted?

Am i devalued?

My unshakeable perception and unbrakeable soul,

Were they deceived?

 

All I need now is a shoulder,

Where my tears can be shed and impregnated.

A hug,

Where my bones brake of forgotten joyfulness.

A trust,

Where my biggest secrets will be kept.

A hand,

That can keep helping inconditionally.

Eyes,

That could see me for who I am.

A heart,

Where infinite solid bonds could be created.

And a soul,

Where my soul could be free and unbrakeable...

 

All because of your hypocrat double play,

I was betrayed...


Details | Free verse | |

Hidden Treasure

Hidden Treasure
Hidden, locked away
A last resort
A compromise
When your well has gone dry
You search endlessly for me
Certain that my presence 
Always awaits your lonely soul
Underneath your dreamscape 
Here I remain
Your reality
I will be your mirror
When delusions are before you
For you I bear this cross
Because my heart beats for you

Just a memory to you so often
Your buried treasure lies here
Waiting to be discovered


 

©  2008 Courtney Dyer


Details | Free verse | |

'Saturated - in Silence'


I cried today 
tears were streaming down my face

nobody knew -

I walked around for hours 
crying over you 

nobody knew - 

my clothes were drenched
I cried today 

nobody knew –

because I was crying in the rain...

310820111225


Details | Free verse | |

Don't Ask--Don't Tell

A spiral curl upon her brow,
She can't recall how it all began
She can't recall how it came to this
No names are shared, he doesn't care
He doesn't ask...........she doesn't tell
She doesn't tell.........he doesn't ask
She promises herself, 
                 this will be the last


A small tattoo, a trailing rose
It wanders down, beneath her clothes
She dims the light
One look, he falls
into the spell, she has composed
She knows the score....from those before
 
Beneath the trellis of a smile
Cold fingers grope, to touch the thorns
and there is born, a heart of stone
Without a word, her taste runs cold
His lust is hot......her time is bought
Her lot in life, tomorrow's scorn

                          
Her honey, wild, once laced with gold
Until the taste was tainted cold
In lonely rooms, pink roses slept
Where bedside shadows paid the rent
                          
The tears she wept so long ago
Now shuttered tight, where secrets hide
Against the dark, against the tide
All shame has learned to shut an eye
                         
A child, a lily in the bud
Has never known the trace of love
All fear is gone, but not forgot
Redemption, now, it matters not
Where ecstasy, is never sought
                          
A tear upon the lash won’t fall
The garland once upon her dress
Is now tattooed upon her breast
His urgent thrust, to her is death
He pants one breath, then takes a rest

She doesn't speak.......he falls asleep
He didn't ask..............she didn't tell
She promises, he'll be the last

No questions asked



______________________________________________
For Charlotte's Contest, Erotic Scorchers: 11/27/13


Details | Free verse | |

Thoughts of You

Random thoughts of you run
randomly throughout my mind,
as I hold, looking through a simple picture of you and I,
smiles and holding each other,
embracing warmth brings me to sanity,
watching your hand on my forearm,
as you gaze into my eyes.
Oh the tears flood such emotion,
only you and I now in such madness we call love,
such madness we all call life,
such madness we all call reality.

Thoughts of me without you,
I cannot bear to see such a sight in mind,
to hear such words that tear my heart out
and sadness stabs me rapidly in the back,
and I can't bear to see such a sight as this.
Thoughts of you
running randomly throughout my mind,
my hair turns silver and white with stress
of not being with you,
and my liver covered with cancer,
and lungs black with smoke,
and stomach embraced with ulcers.

All I ask for you,
is not to be a thought anymore,
and come back to me in flesh and bone
in a portrait painting of you in reality
come to me with your beauty and glory
and kind heart and hold me again,
and let me kiss you again and love you again,
and call you mine again.
Don't say it is impossible,
when you know and I know,
that it is in fact possible
to love each other once again.


Details | Free verse | |

Hope

The phone rings innocently.
Who is at the other side?
Could be no one then yet a peculiar feeling tells
me it is the bearer of bad news.
Still I answer hoping I am wrong.
My mother is ill, trapped between two worlds; 
the worlds of fear and courage.
My ears hear every word but my mind has created a 
sudden barrier that nothing seems to
penetrate like some sort of
steel web of unwanted denial.
Fear floods my body like a torrent
river flow, eroding strength
and stability.
How much longer can I bare it?
Never it seems but hope still glimmers 
regardless of how dim.
Miles are between us, 
I feel numb and unexpectedly lost.
Where am I?
It’s certainly not here in the presence 
of fallen angels.
The bell of hope strikes a sharp note creating a 
gentle chime awaking my
senses to the news,
they are sharpened making
the fear of loss suddenly
commanding, corrupting my
inner strength making it weak.
I continue to listen all the 
while my body is screaming
in protest.
The voice stopped, I hung up,
the pain and fear never lessened.
Time went by all the while my
mind was constantly in a state
of anguish and grief.
Endless stories were created,
each one worse than the last.
My family begun to shatter like
a broken mirror, reflecting only
the scars of misery and needless
hurt.
Hope still glimmered but appeared
distant and out of reach.
My mind grew tender, endless misery
has eaten away at my last thoughts
of happiness.
The sting of fear created heartache
for the bond between mother and child
was nearly severed,
severed by the hands of
an unwanted deity.
A deity of life itself.



Details | Free verse | |

Don't Try It

A single kiss from thy lovely lips,
so sweet and so divine,
yet I taste posion upon your tongue.

Your beauty so glorious,
like a blooming rose so beautiful,
yet, why do mine eyes go blind
in the sight that you walk along with another?

Yes you, walk with another,
arm under arm,
lips touching lips in romantic kisses,
it makes my blood boil,
for mine lips are dry.

For mine eyes have seen your glory,
yet no one here listens to my story.
You are evil, yes you are,
don't try to deny,
Listen to a man of experience,
you might as well save some expense.

I write of our long romantic walks
we took together, under the shade of olive trees,
how we went apple picking in autumn time,
and made love in the foyer.

Nomore of that sweet and passionate love,
nomore silent kisses in the night,
when the wind blows hard against the branches,
that tape violently on my windowpane. 
Nomore somber tears shed, when you got sick,
and nomore warm embraces when you shed tears of betrayal.

Betrayal now is a game played by a fool,
such as I,
to think I'd have a happy life with you?
Huh, only a fool would think such a thing,
but now I sit, looking at the foyer,
where we once made sweet, passionate love,
nomore will that foyer be filled with exotic pleasure.
Nomore will you be filled with smiles and exotic pleasure.
I've done my job, as a good man shall do,
now pack your things and get of my stage,
the spotlight yawns for anew,
and the audience grows tired and restless of you.

Now I live life anew,
you too shall see life in new eyes,
walking hand and hand with the blond, blue eyed devil
you call your own.
Shall he take one kiss from your lips,
and die of the posion he tastes on your tongue,
shall he go blind, when he sees your true, black beauty?
He will see the ugly soul, covered up by white rags,
and cheap makeup,
and then he will come to me,
and shake my hand in condolence
and say, "You were right!"

Now you are all alone,
looking for another, as you did many times before,
Now you are alone, walking an open road,
spying on another,
fear of being alone.
Now, you see when you play games with a good man's emotions,
don't try it,
because a good man is not meant to be toyed with.


Details | Free verse | |

The Wall

We worked together And built a wall, Brick by brick Was laid in place. The puzzle Of our lives Became That wall. How sad it was To discover We lived On opposite sides.


Details | Free verse | |

Words of Life

Drowning in the pool of anguish…oh…oh…
I’m venturing into the forest…and I want to hear the words seep out 
Release these aching sorrows…I worry my soul’s drying out…
like a drought…
Drain out the fluids from my heart
It’s gouging me…bruising me to the core…

**chorus** 
Embrace the light…embrace the midnight sky…
You fall in my arms – you die so warm
Shed me more sun to lift up my spirits
From the…underground…and release me – I’m breathless
I’m drowning in doubt…ooh… oh… 


Remember me…I’m falling…into my swirling fate…hanging on the roots 
Strangling my heart…distorting in my veins… I’m bleeding so softly – cut out the wood…
Splintering me…I’m shattering… and I’m falling in the abyss
Bring me more radiance from my candle light
Warp me up in bliss…don’t let the midnight sky…don’t take away my delight
From the…ocean…and save me—save me…oh… oh…  I’m failing 

*chorus*

I’m drowning in regret…ooh..oh…
Hit the bull’s eye in my heart…embrace the light
And don’t leave me hanging in the abyss…hand me a kite!
Save me before I fall apart…shut out the night
And don’t let the dusk escape us…

I must confess…
I must confess…
I hate to see you abandon the light…
But I’m not the one to save you from the night
Ooh…ohh…

*Chorus* 

Splintering lies fill your heart 
I want to kiss it goodbye…
But you’ve mastered it like a piece of art
I want to kiss the abyss and die…
Dry… I wanna touch the sky with my whole soul
But I’m failing and the end of time has taken its toll
Tainted sorrow…swims around me…I dwell where the waters depart
But the anguish still swarms in my heart…
I’m failing…my heart stops beating
And my desires are fleeting
From my grasp
And the monsters laugh at me…as I fall… 

*chorus*

Embrace the midnight sky…catch me…catch me…
As I fall in death’s arms…I die so cold
And your heart is made of gold

Untangle the darkness & take away the nightmares 
Answer our prayers & block out the night 
Erase the heartaches & wipe away our tears
Unravel Your words of life & delight


Details | Free verse | |

Death of a Dream

Death of a Dream
      by Amy Swanson


Time
   existence
       goes by
          *long drawn out sigh*

gray transforming

overbearing
    the happy
         once joyful
            exuberant bright cheerful eclectic

becoming shadows
misty vapor
                  rising to the sky
                  fleeting...
                              gone.

Days gone by
     weeks
        and
          months
            and
               years

                          motions of life
                          crowd out
                          emotions of life  


                                         This unrecognized yet all too familiar place...

                                                    This is where dreams are born.
                                                    This is where dreams die.

Spark of light
    soft golden
struggles against 
    darkened mire

hope's ashes
      faith's grief
           love's despondence

Marigold hue
        charred
              sphere of night envelopes

Streaks and smudges
          of pride
              vanity
              selfishness
              cruelty
                      deface life's canvas
                         once glowing brilliant
                             -- now torn and tainted.


                                          This unrecognized yet all too familiar place...

                                                    This is where dreams are born.
                                                    This is where dreams die.
Silence...
    utter chaos...
         sheer madness
              consuming life -

they don't know.

They don't care.

They go about
     *busily*
          trading dreams
              spiritual riches
                for material fantasies
                     built with air.

Colorless
    consumes the bright

one small spark
        daring dream
              chasing burgeoning shadows

until exhausted
           extinguished...
                       no more.


                                            This unrecognized yet all too familiar place...

                                                    This is where dreams are born.
                                                    This is where dreams die.


Details | Free verse | |

End of summer for sure - Version 1 - Sad

Looking out my window this 38 degree morning
I saw that:

The bushes are weighted down
with the moisture;
the droplets on the verge of
morphing into ice;
hunkering against the cold.

The weeds are dead and stiff
with the end of a dry season;
now wet, turned into intensely
deep shades of brown
and ochre.

The tall un-mown grasses
are matted down
by fallen leaves,
saddened by season's end
and wet with shiny tears.


Details | Free verse | |

The Never Ending Battle

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

JS Lambert



Details | Free verse | |

In Gods arms

Month one

Mommy

I am only 8 inches long

but I have all my organs.

I love the sound of your voice.

Every time I hear it

I wave my arms and legs.

The sound of your heart beat

is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy

today I learned how to suck my thumb.

If you could see me

you could definitely tell that I am a baby.

I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.

It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy

I'm a boy!!

I hope that makes you happy.

I always want you to be happy.

I don't like it when you cry.

You sound so sad.

It makes me sad too

and I cry with you even though

you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy

my hair is starting to grow.

It is very short and fine

but I will have a lot of it.

I spend a lot of my time exercising.

I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes

and stretch my arms and legs.

I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.

Mommy, he lied to you.

He said that I'm not a baby.

I am a baby Mommy, your baby.

I think and feel.

Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.

I don't like him.

He seems cold and heartless.

Something is intruding my home.

The doctor called it a needle.

Mommy what is it? It burns!

Please make him stop!

I can't get away from it!

Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy

I am okay.

I am in God's arms.

He is holding me.

He told me about abortion.

Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

.


Details | Free verse | |

Pearls

Nacreous trees
reach into goldenrod skies
autumn wheat hissing, envious!
Tassels of crown hang, lifeless.
Queen of a barren kingdom
where silver suns trek horizons, 
never in reach for the looking glass
to swallow, and reflect,
inside out.
Another sunrise sets
all as the pearl harvest eclipses behind,
the apple of her eye.


Details | Free verse | |

C'est la vie

=0= He came back to France Many years ago, to find his one true love To have his life with her once more the beautiful woman he'll forever adore He longs to be the one to call her, his 'Mon petit Fleur' His 'belle' The one to fulfill all of her dreams As if dropping pennies into a wishing well. To feed her croissants and pastries galour and together they'll sip tea As they laugh about life and how it was meant to be Together forever sat at their small corner table In their special patisserie. This is where I find him, all hunched over and alone His face full of lines from the life that he has known The tea for two, turned into one The buttered croissants all but gone As day by day he sits and waits He comes at dawn And waits till dusk When the day bids its Au revoir Before he makes his way back home Deep down he's given up hope of her coming But he hates to be alone. As he tells me his story I see the sadness in his eyes They fill with tears as he mentions her name His one true love that never came This is just the way he's life is meant to be In saddened tones he whispers C'est la vie.. For Cyndi's Something French contest. =0=


Details | Free verse | |

Remembering Your Lost Love Again

Many many years from now on a busy morning, suddenly for a moment Mallika my name in your mind, it will force you to stop and look at the sky and from your heart will come out a deep sigh, memories of love, suddenly so fresh like a 'dewed' morning rose remembering your lost love again absentmindedly you will touch my last gift with moist eyes, "love thy name is eternity" your fingers will follow this line on that bone china vase, I know time will go slow though tears will flow faster and I will be nowhere near you "before the next teardrop falls", only my memories closer,nearer to you, happy,joyful,cheerful,pleasant days when the moon rose in the sky just for us, will these glimpses of happy days wipe tears from your eyes? If not,if you are still running on empty just listen to my words floating in the air, "love thy name is eternity". © kash poet 2012 ===================000=================== Placement: 5th (June 2012) Contest:Mish-Mash Sponsor:Tracie RULES FOR THIS POEM (HA HA HA HA...enjoyed the challenge) =========================================== Line 1.. must have 13 syllibles Line 2.. use the name of someone you love in this line Line 3.. must rhyme with Line 4 Line 4.. see above Line 5.. can only have 3 words Line 6.. must contain a palindrome Line 7.. use the title of your poem in this line Line 8.. must rhyme with line 3 & 4 Line 9.. must be one of your favorite short quotes Line 10.. use the name of a country in this line Line 11.. 5 words in this line must rhyme Line 12.. use only 6 syllibles in this line Line 13.. Add all or part of a song title to this line Line 14..use a synonym in this line Line 15.. use 4 different words that mean the same thing in this line. Line 16.. you cant use the letters A D or L in this line Line 17.. Use the words happy and eyes in this line Line 18.. the words 'running on empty' must be used in this line Line 19.. must rhyme with line 12 Line 20.. Use a line from one of your old poems in this line.


Details | Free verse | |

Don't

Don’t
hate me, despise me
Don’t
cut me off, hide me
Don’t 
put me in a corner to punish me
Don’t
mentally torture me
Don’t
yell, shout or scream at me
Don’t
tear share or scare me
Don’t
hurt me, nor squeeze me
Don’t
taunt, tease and thump me
Don’t 
shove, crush, or bruise me
Don’t 
push, pull or pummel me
Don’t
break me or blind me
Don’t
abuse me, or bleed me
Don’t 
rape me, suffocate me
Don’t 
murder me, lose me
DON’T


Details | Free verse | |

Gene, Gene, the Singing Machine

(in memoriam, Eugene Lawler, d. January 29, 2012, aged 83 years)

--- Note:  "The singing machine" is a not so tongue-in-cheek reference to Gene and his penchant for singing whenever and wherever he wished, as well as to his karaoke
equipment and his nickname at bars that featured karaoke nights. ---


You fancied yourself a singer,
and indeed you were.
What songs we heard from you
you had made your own,
and you gave them freely
to all who would listen
(though we were just a few
who were, at times, inattentive.)
Time and remembrance may color
the images you left behind,
and the sentimental songs
you sang (and scribed on silver disks 
for us to hear when, and if, we will)
may prod us to recall
your willful, dour demeanor
which could bloom into benevolence
or darken further in stormy sneers
at tardiness, or at perceived
maltreatment of any sort.
You were your own arbiter of behavior
who kept before you expectations
of what was appropriate, for yourself
and for us, the others of your kind.
We were few (still fewer now),
who flocked together on occasion
to celebrate, in quiet fashion,
whatever anniversary we chose --
perhaps your passing date
will become another to be marked.
And your voice, reproduced mechanically,
amplified, may remind us of our loss,
and of yours.  


Details | Free verse | |

A Costly Mistake

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Free verse | |

With Dignity and Respect

Anton walked past the schoolyard
Where basketball, years ago, was the everyday norm.
But, all had changed in this poor boy’s life
To the point that things won’t be the same.
He, now, maintains this school
And accepts the insolence of the 
Students as they sneer at him
Because once, he had a shot. 

He was a good student and athlete,
The road looked like it was paved in gold.
He met this girl that would change his life.
They dated 3 months when she said
That she was pregnant and he,
Yes he, was the only one.
Anton was raised with dignity and respect
And knew no other road to take
Except the road of responsibility.

Now, at 19, this baby in the world
Has a baby to take care of, to raise.
Anton, has proven himself to be a man,
a man willing to accept and endure.
No greater man ever existed.
He’s raising his child with dignity and respect
With his dreams being
That one day his son doesn’t
Make the same mistakes he’s made.


Details | Free verse | |

Pandora's Box

Pandora's Box

The skies rip apart
Filling with a hot white fire
The winds blow both hot and cold
Burning and freezing
Birds are replaced by black dragons
Smoking cinders fall like rain
Covering the ground below
Burying people as they run
The ancient gods rise up from the ashes
Full of vengeance and hate
Desiring peace they fight for humanity
What has caused the world such pain?
Pandora's Box has been opened
Hope has died a violent death
The last chance was taken from man
Rains will wash away the ash
The sky will heal
Man will survive
He always has
The gods will return from whence they came
But Pandora's Box will remain empty
Devoid of all hope


Details | Free verse | |

PARASITES

All my life,All my days
Wolves and sheep alike flock with me
Like a magnet,they are drawn to me
Like bees,they swarm around me.

Sucking my honeycomb to Sahara
Like mosquitoes,they bite and go
but like Twist,they want more
Vampires,what a befitting title.

They've built roofless shelters
Right in the corner of my pocket,
the home of my juiciest fruit
believing in its strong cover,
when the rainy days roll in.

They milk me dry with their pincers,
Descending on my defenseless self
Pouncing on my vulnerability
Like a relentless leech,
they hold on to my apron.

Ripping me has become a hobby.

Till i am as dry as the fig,
my udder will be home to them.
Venomous blood sucking parasites
They will follow me to the end.


Details | Free verse | |

A Squirrels Tears

How do I describe such distress?
A squirrel sat on a lower limb,
His mother had chased him from the nest.
His heart was broken, in upheaval, a mess.
His home gone. His mother turning her back so new.
Oh what, oh what will he ever do?
Each breath he takes is a mighty gulp,
Then the sound so soulful with every shout.
Cries of pain were so deeply felt, 
That every bout rips my heart inside out.
It renders me tearful to hear the sounds flow…
The need to help him drives me so,
How could his mother yield such a blow?
But he is wild and won’t let me help his woe.
A human I’d hold so warm and tight.
I’d build a nest for him if it were right.
But I know he won’t accept my help, 
As he cries on and on in his plight.
For an hour he tore my heart to shreds…
Then finally a young squirrel came from another tree, instead.
Together they ran off fulfilling his needs…
His cries stopped. He’d found what he wanted with those pleas…
Now if mankind could only help those in need, with such simplicity.


Details | Free verse | |

LAST WISHES

It begins

death’s odd intro
as familiar as family
as familiar as a father's tales

but it speaks the idioms of sheaths,
a silence under the rumble
and that terminal pause
of emptiness
 
will come the keening
our aria of love-loss 
wordless and ageless
begging begging begging
for more moments
for laughter over the breaking of bread
for another long afternoon
for one miracle

for him

the phone will ring, very soon

and I will picture her face
forever rearranged by the news
of her father’s passing

never more a child
never the same
changed

a chrysalis once more
formed in mourning
such a fragile strength

then death, fostering,
will hover in apology 

touching her
forevermore






*My brother in law is now in palliative care... my 18 year old niece has just begun university. I was the same age when I lost my mother... too young too young. Prayers for a painless passing and strength for the family greatly appreciated. Love to all.


Details | Free verse | |

Casualties of Love

Casualties of Love
Check the victims report
Broken hearts, pain, ice cold
Check the newswire
Filled with heartbreak, desire
Walk away, never look back
That’s how it’s done, no emotion
Don’t forget to look in the mirror
It’s a reflection of your life


Details | Free verse | |

For Suzanne, Green and Golden

“The October night comes down; returning as before
Except for a slight sensation of being ill at ease
I mount the stairs and turn the handle of the door
And feel as if I had mounted on my hands and knees.”
----- “Portrait of a Lady;” T. S. Eliot

A golden afternoon,
Late October, and my thoughts
Are all of you, Suzanne…
Vestiges of your being
Appear on visages of 
A hundred different people;
But none are you, not one 
As green,  as golden.

Hard it is to know no miracle
Will mend, no giddy hope assuage,
The scourge that slowly puts an end
To our valiant green and golden girl.
Memory takes us to days of indolence,
Of innocence, of children lying on a levee,
Deep in lush, green, summer clover --
In sunlight almost as golden
As your hair -- beside a flowing river
Bearing away our golden hours
And the painless green  of youth.
 
Now, in your green room, reclined
In shadow, our golden girl reposes.
Your courage lights the coming night
That does not dim the gold and green
You always shared, and still you share.



Details | Free verse | |

Anonymity Becomes You

Cruel intentions
circle the ruby red
of your lips
hips that sway back 
and forth in a lusty pose
touching, touching
but never really feeling.

Dim rooms, yellow lit
of seedy talk and
tobacco riddled nights 
give pretense that your loved 
while thwarted dreams
lay at your feet
grinding to thin ash 

The dark disclosure of your deeds
rip through the heart
and cut to the core
but  are never left unnoticed.

The silence that you swear
 to keep this thing alive 
 reflect in you what I despise

You will go on pretending 
to ease your slow decline
just one more time, baby
just one more time.


Details | Free verse | |

A Granddaughter's Pain

That horrible day she heard those words.
The cawing of those dreadful birds.
The pain in her chest found its way to her eyes.
Her breath came out in only short sighs.
Her sister there to hold her hand,
Trying to be strong for the both of them.
The day had come, they knew it would.
But faster than it probably should.
They made as much noise as they possibly could.
Anything to  keep away the silence of death,
And as the tears kept falling, 
they did their best,
To try and forget this disastrous mess.
But as hard as they denied it, 
they knew it was true.
He was gone from this world, 
wasn’t meant for it too.
The last words he spoke, 
were held to be true.
“ when all the feelings had been felt,
And all the tears shed.
Let the acceptance begin.”
They echoed again and again.


Details | Free verse | |

Jobless

You are now an outsider
No longer part of the mechanism
Not needed, surplus to requirement, redundant
Your mind slowly blunting at the bottom of the bottom drawer of life

The eyes of others betray derision and contempt
Fearful of catching your disease
Keeping a distance, loathing your weakness and inability
A moment of pseudo sympathy and they’re gone, you’re of no further use to them   

Every rejection is an undeniable confirmation of your failure
Affirmation is everywhere; you just never saw it before now
Self-confidence, ground down with every counter-opinion to yours
Your worth is worthless and your prospects worth less than that

Pride declines charity yet you wish they’d persist
Dismissal and a cynical laugh is your antidote to their wise advice
Don’t you think I have thought of that? Or tried this? You say
Embarrassment at your own ineptitude has become hostility

Your child's face is a gallery of unconscious naivety
You draw her in close, a surrogate for decent food and warmth
Inwardly you cry for her and, perhaps, more for you at your inability to provide
You’re not sure how or when it will end but certainly...it will end

Slowly, yet quite perceptibly, you have become the person you once scorned
You now comprehend the reason for their shabby appearance 
You realise that hesitance isn’t stupidity but a fear of making a wrong impression
You can now walk a mile in another man’s shoes…until they wear out


Details | Free verse | |

UNSPOKEN (Please Read)

I sit, crumbled on the icey bathroom floor, shivering, head between my knees
fighting off the nausea. Sobbing Lost, Alone, Ashamed... gasping for breath,
burning from the inside out. Silent Screams fill my lungs bursting to release,
needing to rid the disgust! Broken, Battered my heart torn to pieces,
each tear like a cold blade down my fiery cheeks. Nails digging deeper into my palms,
Crimson Cresent Moons show my Pain. You look at me and Smile with those Cold, Lying
eyes. PIG! MONSTER! HOW! WHY! OH GOD WHY! I wish to scream at your Ugly Face!
I continue on suddle  locked in my prision. Flashbacks that make me Nauseaus,
Cringing inside. Tears that haunt me, reminding me at night. The aching in my 
heart Hollow and Stale. Tho I walk, you have stolen the Innocence of Life from me.


I would like to dedicate this to all the Women, to all the Children and yes even to
all the Men who are or who have been victims of sexual abuse. Every 2.5 minutes
a woman in sexually abused. To all my Brothers  and Sisters, to the Torn and Aching Hearts
stay strong, one day our tears will be heard.

Love,
Ashley


Details | Free verse | |

DECEPTION

Hand in hand and
Eyes to eyes,
Promises unending
As if from the heart,
Pregnancy struck
Then hand out of hand
And eyes apart from eyes
Leaving the girl in stark anguish...


BY: CHARLES MELODY (LIGHTNING INK).


Details | Free verse | |

Empty

And when I learned that you died
How can I describe
The empty
Empty
Empty

You were my boxer in the night
Sparred with you 
About every aspect of
Life

My secret tonic
Made everything
Feel alright
Got me through it all
All the frustrations
Disappointments of 
Life

And when I learned that you died
How can I describe
The empty
Empty
Empty

We called each other friend
Even when
Our bodies came together
That single
Lunatic
Moment

That single 
Lunatic
Time

And it felt so 
Full
You made me feel
Full
How can I describe 
The full
Full
Full

My life was full
When you laughed
It felt so full even
When you 
Cried

The times I was mean

And my body left
Your body
After 
That single
Lunatic 
Time

And so we pretended 
We were just
Friends
In the end
We pretended
Then

And now you’re 
Gone

And I can barely speak
Or write 
I can barely write
A 
Single
Meaningful
Poetic
Word

And there’s a quiet room
In my mind
Where your laughter
Once
Played
My innocent child
Woman
Gone 
Away

How can I describe
The Empty
Empty 
Empty

How can I describe
The empty
Empty
Empty

How can I describe
The
Way
I
Feel?


Details | Free verse | |

It's the evening

Windows wide open on the Oxygen of grief ..
And flowers of the depression on the table of silent  ..
It's the evening!!


Details | Free verse | |

Scattered All Around

"Fragments and crumbs of life, all the little pieces" 

                                           John Ruskin, 1853 

Scattered all around
Scrambling to pick up the pieces
Of what is left
That was once whole
Now shattered on the ground
What once was beautiful
Now broken and chipped away
Desperate to find every piece
In hopes of restoration
Frantically searching
Eyes darting everywhere
Ignoring the pain
As the shards cut
As you seize each piece
Even the most minuscule 
Clutching it ever so close
As tears start to swell
Chest begins to heave
As panic sets in
How could this have happened
Failed to protect and guard
Something so precious
Only few ever find
More valuable than gold
Casting the illusion
Of being untouchable
Standing the test of time
Safe and resistant 	
Thus leading to distance
Less guarding and sheltering
Taking comfort in the safety
Of letting go
Only to see it topple over
Like slow motion
Fearfully reaching out
Brushing fingertips
But not quick enough
Watching it descend 
Eyes wide
No longer breathing
Heart stopping
Helpless now
Ear-piercing
As it shatters
Into a million pieces
Knees hitting the ground
Awe struck
Dumb-founded
What once was treasured
Lies hopeless and lifeless
Even if all the pieces are found
Carefully glued back together
It will never be as beautiful
Covered with cracks
Never showing strength
Only fragile and weak
Telling the story of carelessness
How one looked away
Only for a brief moment
Left vulnerable to the unknown
Is now nothing more
Than broken shards
Glistening from tears
In blood-stained hands


By Shauna Riley

5/17/11

For A Rambling Poet's contest, "All the Little Pieces"


Details | Free verse | |

Missing An Angel

I’m missing  so much one of my angels
who constantly guided me since birth
he used to talk to me in a long distance
his lovely voice was a real spirit booster

all the other angels have called me up
bringing me all  their wishes and love
but the other angel I’m missing now
I want even the silhouette of his voice

dear angel of mine, please  hear me cry
will you appear in my dreams tonight
I just want to tell you how I am
like I did with the rest of whom you love

I really miss to tell you a story
whenever  I am happy and lonely
and all the love and joys  around me
trying  all to keep my spirit healthy

but, there’s one thing I want to tell
please continue looking after me
keeping me in your ardent  prayer
and ask God to remove the bitter pill

I want to tell you that  I’m still fine
as long as I am still kicking and alive
All I need is a constant fortitude
In this temporary world  I don’t own

I’m missing you so much my angel
speak in a  dream of your sweet  girl
greet and make a loving wish for her
may she has a longer life in this world




Written: Oct. 4, 2012
Note: Another poem tribute to my dad (now in heaven) written before my birthday.


Details | Free verse | |

Why

Why go to sleep?
Why we are the ones that have missing things.
Why take a breeze?
When I am the one that needs zephyr.

Why cry until you are satisfied?
When you are always dissatisfied.
Why go and feel contempt?
When we only need respect.
So, why do you expose yourself?
When you haven't cleansed yourself.

Why go and overreact?
When you sometimes don't make a great impact.
Why go and bite?
When you know you cannot eat more than you can chew.

Why give?
When you only deserve.
Why shed some tears?
When they sometimes aren't clear.
Why are you happy?
When you know you are lying.

Why are we bleeding?
When we only need healing.
So, why live?
When we go and die.
And why die?
When we want life.

We might fall down,
But it is never too late,
'Cause life,
Starts now...


Details | Free verse | |

The Justice of the Crossroads

They've hung on him a For sale tag
He's wearing a stale old plastic bag
And the rest of him is in rags
The whole world passes by him
Stops and stares, or points at whim
Mad Marley stands there everyday 
Without  a job without the pay
He knew no place but where he stood 
On that busy trafficked crossing road
He was waiting for something to happen there
Perhaps the justice that the judges couldn't spare
Of some  long forgotten clash of cars 
That had claimed his life and all its hours
So there he stood all the time
As the crowd of cars grew in line
Then one day, a day like any other 
He saw a car hit another
And out fell a man, the man with the scar
Who had killed his wife and children with his car
A drop of blood trickled down the man's nose
Mirroring Mad Marley's teardrops as he rose
He removed his for sale tag and plastic bag
Took out the bullet that, for these 18 years he had, had
And the rusted barrel of the gun
He had sworn he would use to avenge his son

Mad Marley fell on the pavement alone and dead
With the bullet lodged inside his head


Details | Free verse | |

Concentric Circles

I’m here.
Holding up the sky

It will not fall on you
Not again
In these days once more
When you tell me you canna do it
Not again

Stuttering intakes of breathless oceans apart
Yet so close as to tingle fingertips
Gasping at familiar melodies of desert songbirds

The smell of earth after a rainstorm
Two thousand miles of trust
Between us

And the origin of this collaboration
Of souls
Back to the beginning
Of recognition of you of me and
Me of you and
      There is no end

Not this day
Nor tomorrows ever will I
Leave you

For I would cease to breathe.

For my Devin


Details | Free verse | |

Passchendale: 3rd Battle of Ypres, 1916

Even the dead reject this blasted earth.

The ground, such as it is,
Is freshly Antidiluvean,
And the corpses swim within its tumbled, heaving masses
Blood and mud the mortar
Holding the chaos together.

The sun is weak,
Ashamed to break the haze
And bring to light the obscenities transpiring here.

The whistles blow
And the troglodytes emerge
From their respective holes,
Staggering towards one another
Through watery craters
Over the mincemeat of comrades
To add themselves to the swimming sacrifice
Constantly on offer 
To the insatiable, sole diety of this place,
The Mud-God, Futility.

     They are men no more,
     Those who struggle 'neath
     The leaden skies
     The wan sun
     Of the sodden moonscape
     That is Passchendale.

     They are only raging beasts
     Trading pain for pain,
     All trace of cause or reason
     Lost in the maelstrom of their collective misery -

And the only escape
Is to slay and to be slain;
To join the bitter shades
Ascending with the fog and smoke
Through the wall of cloud above,
To vanish into the icy deeps
Among the far, impassive stars.


Details | Free verse | |

What Shall I Say

I hear the call of friends but I am slow to harken, 
What shall I say what would you want to hear? 
I will not write of Erotic images, I will not spew phony 
flowery words. I will only write the truth, what is in
my soul. I have written of the Love that we all should
have for one another, I have written to bring a smile, I
have written of loss, pain and struggle. Do you think me
too sagely, an oracle, a seer, a paradox, a riddle?
I am an enigma, a vision you cannot see, a word you do not
understand, a sad song too hard to sing, a thorn that pricks
at you, a dream that is never understood. This life is about
caring, giving, learning, sharing. I am the one that will
not be loved, a nuance, a shadow, a whisper, a tear shed,
one forgotten, a bitter taste. What shall I say, can I ease the
pain, take away the troubles, brighten lives? Nay I cannot, If I
could this world would be a haven of love, bliss, harmony, a 
paradise, a comfort, a healing, a revelation. What shall I say?

My time here grows short and my heart is sad and broken, I 
have no inspiration to write anymore. The words that come out
are too hard to write, too hard to read, a vexation of spirit, a sound 
that is disturbing. This may be the last verse that I ever write my
soul is in despair, I have lost the desire to ponder on the things 
of this world. The thing that you should know is that I love everyone
of you. What else can I say?


Details | Free verse | |

HEART BEAT

When I pull away, you push

I’m silent, like a single finger to my blush lips

motioning “shush”

I feel like a caged tiger

craving freedom and lovers flesh

a prisoner of your personal horror

I must digress

I loose myself, into my mystical, magical, mind

to keep this empty agony, from burning into

each minute, of my lifetime

my body, feels frozen to your touch

your kisses, cannot melt my hatred

toward your soulless lust

I am strong from within, I cannot,

will not

let him win,

A real live porcelain doll I have

turned in

Two

lines forming a cross, hold my inner eye 

for the Lords love catches my tears as I cry

when your fists, strike my body

a bloody mess, you leave my lie

punishing me for your insecurities

and false lies

a chance to escape you, this dream

has me hypnotized

each day of mine, ends in silent sorrow

and begins, with prayer filled sighs

For love, does not beat you behind backs

and then smile in your eyes

using such smiles to disguise

to the outside, false facial expressions

keep things trill

I pray, for the strength one day,

to fight my prisoner back

perhaps kill


Details | Free verse | |

Gone To The Other Side

                                            Farewell my friend
                                            Now you are gone
                             Cremated from earthly shape to ashes
                Never will I feel your warmth and unconditioned love again
                                   You are not suffering anymore
                           I always knew that this day would come
                                        Yet I were not prepared
                                    To witness my lifelong friend
                   Being enclosed by deaths unwilling power to leave you be
                          Your illness could never have been healed
                        Yet,when the day death embraced your body
                      It was a smack right into my face and emotions
  
          The day that we spread your ashes over the deep forest you loved so much
                                          We were done crying
                                 Because your presence were there
                                          We could all feel it
                               Your energy and spirit are still with us
                             Time will come when we shall meet again
                            Since you stepped over to the next dimesion
                              Days feels empty with a deafening silence

              Until death embraces my earthly life,and our spirits have rejoined
                  I shall live my life here to honour your name and legacy
                                     Farewell my lifelong friend
                                                  So long
                                We`ll meet again on the other side
            Memories we have from your time on earth,will refuel my empty soul
                                           And keep me going
                                        Rest in piece my friend



About this poem..I belive we will all be reunited when our time here is done.

Cheers my friends out there


Details | Free verse | |

Bleeded Out

More things can happen or could have happened,
From a cold metal,
Sharpened in fine fettle,
Making skin nettled,
Damaging the mettles,
To keep minds unsettled,
Provoking to ask, if this is or if this was real or mental?

Blade on arms,
Skin might be harmed;
Skin was gashed,
Blade grinding and gnashed,
Red colors coming in a flash...

Blade on gut,
Feeling a sudden jut,
Provoked as a rut,
But, this was a guff...

Blade on neck,
Thinking about a sudden sweep,
Discord trying to overcome conviction and peace,
Even though, the blade failed again,
Failing to provoke the red gushes and streams...

Blade on heart,
Might be the last battle so far,
Trying to not give in, being so hard,
Though in the past, there could have been to many cuts,
And more deadly slashes,
Creating red splashes and plashes,
As I slowly might have fought, winning or losing,
Against the sleeping and life flashing feeling,
As I bleeded out..


Details | Free verse | |

Without Love

Look around you see the azure sky
the peaceful white clouds the stars
shining in the infinite heavens
See the love and care of the creator
the color the diversity that he conceived 
from above Be amazed by his perfect love
Look again see us waste and destroy our
beautiful gift of love sent from above
We have raped the land ravaged the 
trees spoiled the rivers lakes and seas
it's like a bad dream it makes me 
so sad See how some take and take
and never give back forgetting their
brothers and sisters in need it is such
a sad thing to see Without love all is lost
the ruin comes at too high a cost My love
for life begins to fade everything is so
jaded then my sweet love comes and
holds me in her arms I feel her love it's like
a cool drink in the scorching heat she pours
her love on me then I truly can see without
love we are all perishing without
this to feed


Details | Free verse | |

Street of Broken Dreams

There is a place far from here a land full of bitter tears, a place where lonely folks can go when they seek to mend broken hearts, and find lost dreams. A land of winding lonely streets, dark places where the sad ones come walking alone with shattered memories known only as the street of broken dreams. It is a land of bitter memories, dark dreams and broken hearts; a place far from here, where only the lonely can walk.... ...on the streets of broken dreams. The sun rarely shines on these stained walks, dark shadows mar their way... sadness and bitter tears are their signposts on these empty streets of broken dreams. Those who come may linger awhile, seeking to find their way, until at last their journey brings them... to the end of their street of broken dreams.


Details | Free verse | |

The IRONY of my DREAM

I can see the dream I'm dreaming
It's so beautiful, so alleviating
It's the alliteration of everything compelling
It's an epitome of petulant imaging

It's me metamorphosing into greatness
Bearing the trophy of poetry highness
I can feel the gaiety on my success
And the scenery of  my upliftment

But it's only a dream, not reality
It's just a film in  my head, not an actuality
It's the absolute notion of melancholy
The maestro of maudlin deformity

It's a prototype of an implicit onerous display
A melodrama that reclines on a fairy tale
The model of an unswerving galling replay
Like a pungent smell, unwanted but makes it's way

I can't triumph over over-lords of the pen
I can't defeat the dominating combatants of content
I can't outsmart the ten over tens
I just can't win this contest

But I CAN do one thing
Dream of  my WIN


Details | Free verse | |

Talking Frank

she hid 
like a little mouse 
with windows barred 
to block the light 
and peering eyes 

she grew 
in that sunless 
cage 
from adolescent dreams 
to a women's longing 

fought with insecurity 
penning her 
hopes 
on humanity
that had drifted away 

she wrote 
with anticipation 
filled with yearning 
to understand 
such cruelty 

with no answers 
she searched 
why 
what had they done 
would they ever know 

in the night they came 
with weapons fixed 
swinging slurs 
to wound 
her soul 

they gave her a star 
and a ticket 
to take a train 
new adventures 
from which she'd never 
return 

the star soon replaced 
by numbers 
carved into 
tender skin 
and she cried 
for her father 

she was the child 
of her mother 
and of her mother's mother
she was the remains 
of sanity 

she stared at the camp 
not a children's thing 
with ponies and playgrounds 
but with gas chambers 
and crematoriums
and she cried 

for herself 
for her family 
and for the world 
as they led her inside 
she penned last words 

still trying 
to understand 
through her tears 
but there was to be 
no understanding

and in the end 
they laid her bones 
uncerimoniously in pits 
filled to the brim 
with lost dreams 
lost lives 
and failed hope...




Details | Free verse | |

50 Years-Korean War

Published by Poetry Explosion of PA
In Loving Memory of my Dad, Peter J. Mariotti
He left this world on May 9, 2011.  I miss him so.



50 Years-Korean War



		Dad, you were one of the foot soldiers,
		When the Korean War began,
		You were among the many to fight
		In this foreign land,

		You went bravely into battle,
		Because our country told you to go,
		You didn’t ask any questions
		You just went to fight the foe,

		North Korea was Communist,
		South Korea was not,
		The country had been split
		After World War II,
		Now American boys were fighting
		On Korean soil,
		The South Koreans needed help from
		The Red, White and Blue

		Dad, you were a hero,
		You served our country well,
		Now after 50 years
		You finally were able to tell,
		The story of your war
		And the misery you saw,
		The Korean War had been forgotten
		But now at long last,
		It will be remembered,
		As an important part of our past.

		Love always

		Celine Rose Mariotti


Details | Free verse | |

Healing Begins

I find myself sprawled on the floor
Frantically trying to gather the pieces
My heart has been shattered
Jagged, sharp, crimson colored shards
I lay wounded, unaware of my surrounding
The surface is hard and cold, a slab of granite
A crowd of onlookers, strangers stop to stare
They gasp in disbelief at the spectacle
I have a front row seat, standing room only
The sunlight has pierced my soul, I lay exposed
Heartbroken, abandoned, dignity is out the window
I'm holding a bloody big chunk of my heart
I tell myself, breathe in, breath out
I close my eyes, so that I may see with clarity
With eyes closed, the view is breathtaking
Healed, healthy, vibrant and alive
Still with my eyes closed, wide open,  I see the crowd
They begin to applaud, then quickly disperse
I become the lone witness as my heart heals itself
As the darkness explodes into sunlight, triumph
Delete sadness. Insert hope. 
I hear someone in the crowd singing my song

~Rick Berry


Details | Free verse | |

Tears

A pristine crystal droplet For but a moment, suspended Cascades with abandonment And splashes on my sorrow


Details | Free verse | |

Stains of the Past

Tried not to look back
For the past is already in the past
But the past left a stain 
Which I cannot conceal nor erase

A stain of blue and red
From the pains I’ve been through
Blue for the lonely road I took
And red for the sorrow that tormented me

This stain will dwell forever
And forever, it will be a hassle
Let it stay though
To remind me that I am a survivor!


Details | Free verse | |

Bad Company

By their company kept by them both
It has been known and a given fact
That many, many monsters are known
to lived in and on our land.

it was raised in bottles of different shapes
and sizes and that's the only time you ever
want to be real, real friends with me.
Tobacco than knocks at yours door and you
try to force them on us.

We call this bad company an when you come
visit us please remind the bottles and the
tobacco that all must be kept on the porch.
When they finish chatting, playing cards than
they pick the bad company outside the door


Details | Free verse | |

too sad to reflect

I walk by the shore
With my heart in my hand
Trying to find myself
As I kick at the sand.

Why am I so lost?
Now you have gone
We were so young
Now I am alone

I look in the rock pool
For the reflections that I see
I am sure I can see you
Standing behind me

I reflect all the good times
We were both young at heart
So many promises
We made at the start

When we were at college
We met in the breaks
Rush home to see you again
Hoping you’ll wait.

I reflect on the sad times
When cancer was found
You left me alone Ian
I left you in the ground.

I look into the mirror
Hoping your there
Standing behind me
Stroking my hair

My eyes don’t reflect
They have died inside
No hope shows  in them
From the day that you died.


Details | Free verse | |

They're Watching You

They're watching you,
they're always watching you,
check out the daily news.

Henchmen rob bank,
two officers killed,
change channel.

Reality T.V.
a celebraity stumbling out of a club,
drunk as hell.

Change channel,
a gay couple buying a house,
in a white collar neighborhood.

They're watching you,
they're always watching you,
even when you don't know it.

Someone is always watching you.
Take out the trash,
wash the dishes.

Watching,
survalling,
like a camera.

Terrorists,
they're always watching you,
Politians always watching you.

School teachers,
police,
FBI and CIA
Always watching you.

Smile for the camera
they're watching
so just wave and smile.

Bullies on playground jungle-gyms
looking out for the ugly nerd,
found him.

Hiding under the woodchips,
get him, beat him up,
I told you, they're always watching you.

Look at me,
look what I can do,
can you see me?

I'll drink to that,
cheers,
for they're always watching.


Details | Free verse | |

A withered soul.

White lines sit ever so vertical;
Upon a tarnished glass
A razor engraves the surface
As though it were the last.
With every line a story told
of a broken life. Up your nose you
feel relief. In a wonderland you explore.
No sence do you make. 
Yet you always want more.
On a stone a story told;
Like the glass you scrap.
Here lies a withered soul.
Because of the choices that she made.
Goodbye my friend.


Details | Free verse | |

Snippets

These were all former PIMs -- "poetry in motion" entries

I.
desert stillness shrouds
their adversary lairs
twilight's muted thunder
betrays the nearby
stealthy moon

II.
pale gold ribbons
fiery soft skies
sea haze streaks a thin mountain path
as day begins

III.
kitchen pans, pity, pungent cheese
and garden lace -- the matriarch
dripping decay
with her mild gentility

IV.
winter snow, ice
slow spring melt
rain-drowned torrent ocean bound flow
placid river drift
debris of desire

V.
drifting memories
of lakes
water lapping against land
heartbeats floating on the breeze
the water reflects your face
look away

VI.
the chalky moon
creases midnight clouds
blue shades of lovers
walk a powdery sky
chortle at the other's close proximity


Details | Free verse | |

The Brother and the Sister

Once upon a time in the great darkness of life there was a young boy and his twin sister. The boy went through life defending his sister making sure she didn’t get hurt and saving her from all the pain he had to endure. The other kids in his village teased him and beat him every day they saw him but he still fought to give everything to his sister. Then one of his greatest fights came along a wild dog had wondered into their house and was looking for food. The boy saw the dog going after his sister and rushed to push her away as the dog bit him instead. As he felt the dog’s teeth sink into his shoulder. The boy realized that not only had he saved his sister but he had doomed himself he hadn’t used enough caution when saving her and now he has to pay for it. He smiles at the dog and gives it a hug before saying “Thanks do what you need.” He closes his eyes and waits for the end but he only feels the wild dog slowly release him and walk away. The boy’s wounds heal and he lives still sacrificing everything for his sister but as time went on he saw his sister begin to hate him. Finally the boy was about to reach his seventeenth birthday when a very cunning very powerful wolf descended on their home. The boy fought with all his might he fought to save his sister but not even when he finally asked his family for help but they were to scared to afraid of the wolf. but the final strike was dealt to the boy as he faded in and out of consiousness the boy saw his sister being taken away by the wolf. as the world faded to darkness the boy said his final words to his world he was leaving behind. "Dear sister I'm sorry I was never strong enough never cunning enough to truely save you I have failed you and with my last breath I wanted to say I love you.


Details | Free verse | |

Glimmers of hope

The candles we light in honor of your name
Reflect the brightness you gave to our lives
Burn away at the darker side surrounding
Giving way to freedom's path for your spirit
Helping bring healing to the hearts that miss you
Binding you in mind, faith and prayer
So your memory can live on and bring comfort
To those that walk in hope, with you beside them


Details | Free verse | |

Hope Washed Away

Drenching cold in every fiber
Washing away the little girl 
Who once believed she could fix anything 
With hope...
Clinging to spiky reality
Like a tuft of white fur to a filthy branch
So painfully determined,
Yet unrelenting rain;
Torrents of raw emotions 
And mudslides of despair
Saturate and smear her fragile innocence
Her hope will dwindle, 
Slowly drowned
Until nothing more
Remains
Of that child
In the rain


Details | Free verse | |

Star Of David

he stood 
among the swasticka's 


a star 
in the center of chaos


and still
he couldn't comprehend


with ticket in hand 
for a train 
that was heavily laden 
with lost hope 


he was bound and gagged 
by religion 
that was neither practiced 
or received 

yet he was convicted 
by birth 
advocating his death


tears would not save him 


German words would convict 
spoken with accents 
of David 
yet there would be no 

slaying of Goliath 


and so he went 
without a word in yiddish


to ovens readily heated 
and skin was but butter for 
German bread 


he walked among the gentile's 
and was slain 
for he was too gentle 


like a lamb to the slaughter

they dined on mutton 

of Jewish mute 

 

evil knows no boundaries 

for it exerts power and control 

 

and those that are complacent 

will pay the price with life 

 

Star of David 

shone 

but was covered 

by German eclipse

 

blocking the glow

 

extinguishing the flame 

 

 

 





Details | Free verse | |

'Missing Man Formation'



The joy of soaring 
being one with the clouds
floating in and out

between the blue and white 
closer to something 
that is indescribable 

unless you experience it for yourself

that day the air show had all 
the elements of a dream come true

we flew by so fast
and yet 
thousands saw and were in awe 

happy faces of children and adults alike

so we headed home
we took to flight again 

everybody excited
doing what we love to do... 


No one saw it coming
a whole lot of miasma 
visibility almost none

two planes no longer in the air

lost communication
the search is on - 
a day goes by, no word


tragic reality becomes apparent
both planes went down - 

A final salute at our memorial 
the missing man formation 
our final symbolic flight
with our loved ones looking on...

*Check about this poem section 
to see what inspired this write*

280820112205


Details | Free verse | |

Good-bye Again

I say good-bye to you my love,
I say good-bye again.
For there are no harder words to say, 
that we keep putting off again and again.
Broken hearts and tear stained faces,
holding on for dear life.
I say good-bye to you my love,
I say good-bye my friend.
Sleepless nights and tear stained letters,
praying for the dawn.
Holding you in my heart as close as I can get,
until you return again.
I say good-bye to your my love,
I say good-bye once again.


Details | Free verse | |

Queen of Hearts

           Toward the heavens the moon ever climbs
         Love claims her majestic throne among the stars
           I stand before her mystic shrine, in throe of heart
       Grant mine love’s decree and return his desire unto me
              Much hope attends mine wish; I plead of thee
                 Oh queen of hearts tend mine wounded soul
               In mine solitude I weep and upon moonlit paths 
                        I shall wander haunted by his memory


Details | Free verse | |

My savior

It’s been years and I did nothing but watch the walls crack
I look everywhere and see a glimpse of things I missed
I try to go back to do things that was undone
But what’s in the past can never be undone
I’m so littler now
Stuck in the jail of my heart 
Broking to pieces 
Barely breathing
weeping bitterly for my savior 

I’m sorry for I left you for so long
I’m ashamed of holding you
You were the only one who gets me
You’ve always been here through my ups and downs
And I simply walked away from you
I always exploded all my feelings to you
You did nothing but listen 
Never judge me with a glance
I’ve hit you
Threw you
Broke you
You’ve always forgave me 
And came back 

You always knew what was really there
I didn’t need to show you for you to see
I spilled my heart to you 
Without even saying a word
You just simply knew
You helped me find my words 
To show the world 
As it is from my heart
For they need lots of words to understand 

With just a movement of my hand
You helped me draw my dreams my thoughts my unspoken words 
On these wet forgotten papers	
Gave it a new life 
A new story to share

I promise ill never leave you again 
Forgive me, My Pen My savior



Details | Free verse | |

The -C- Word, Tinged in Pink

Two sisters, they were, I remember well
Two halves of one heart, it seemed to me
Their story has faded along with their names

They lived next door where my childhood dwells
They shared a tiny bungalow
Neither were wed, although I know
One had been tempted, to leave the nest
But, fate, even love, could not let her go….

They were a pair, one fair and lean
The other plump, both meekly seen
Behind the blinds, but they were kind
Good neighbors, friends, when called to be
And trusted, by mother, to watch over me…

One sister, became grave, so white and pale
As days went by, more thin, more frail
Hushed whispering, behind closed doors 
What was that “C” word…hanging there?
My mother’s tears upon the news
From a word so feared, no one could use

Banish the unmentionable from tender ears
“Shush, shush, my dear…no need to know”
“It’s nothing you need to fret or care”

My nights were dark, and black with fear
What was the “C” that lingered near?

Pity for those who could not share
Two sisters, dear….I  loved them so
Where was the comfort that calmed their fears?
And wiped the tears, and gave them cheer?
Sisters, who kneeled to tend my wounds
Faced their own, alone….





-            -           -          -         -
(when cancer was an unmentionable word"


Details | Free verse | |

Pain In Your Heart

"Art creates the dream of life"


Is that the season?
The leaves are hitting the silent windows
and some roots of trees are creaking,
but I am a dream.
I do not recognize the colors,
when the sun of that town
without time shelters me like Mum.
Which flowers shall I gift to you?
I am not a saint - I cannot revive you.
I cannot even grief.

To gift to you - a last flower.


"Mother"

Bozhidar Pangelov


Details | Free verse | |

How Far Will You Fly

How far will you fly?
Cross continent? Moonward?
Across the room?
When will you depart?
Through which gate?
Let me fly with you.
You won't even notice me,
On the wing,
Clinging for life (and love).
Why do you flee me,
choosing a destination
from which it will be
impossible
to book a return?


Details | Free verse | |

Alone

Alone. Silence fills the lonely particles that surround me. The whispers of the wind fill the void of the fallow surroundings. I call out to you, you push me away. I stand here with my arms empty. I call for the comforts of a friend. But you are not there. One of the only true friends that I desperately needed, is no longer wanting me. But I pretend not to care; I put on my fake smile hoping that one day it will become real. But the way things are now, my heart is shattered, my happiness destroyed. You continue to be happy without me, as I am left in the dark to try and fend for myself. The hurtful company of lonely voices call out to me, so I silently accept its sweet embrace.


Details | Free verse | |

If I might be

If you want me to express,
Then let me progress.

If you love me,
Give me a break,
'Cause thinking of it,
I may not stay...

If you love me,
Let me lead,
If you love me,
Let me go deep,
If you love me,
I may love you,
If you love me,
Just let me be.

What if you die?
What if I'm gone?
Do you know me?
We all have secrets...

If you are hurt,
I might burn,
If you cry,
I might cry,
If you win,
I might lose,
If you bleed,
I might bleed,
If you live,
I might live.

We all have sins,
We all have burdens...

We can hear,
We can see,
We can know,
We can think,
We can feel,
We can comprehend.

Sorry.
Just let me be.
Because life and time aren't eternal,
They aren't meant to last forever...

Please,
Sorry.
Just let me be...


Details | Free verse | |

Days Of Wine And Roses

Sweet were the days of wine and roses. Sweet was the wine and beautiful were the roses. The love that we had could not be compared. It happened one day - I can not remember when. The wine turned bitter, the roses died and the love we had - just vanished in time. The wine can be sweet and the love can be divine. The roses can be beautiful, but if they are not nourished, they can die... written by Lucilla M. Carrillo 06/16/2012


Details | Free verse | |

Welcome Pluto

I’ve no knack for hasty hesitance
In truth, I positively press-
Do you realize how aligned the planets are?
How the stars—they shine brighter,
Yes, I know it to be so!

Why do you think my pupils enlarge at the sight of you?
Can it be that when I look into your eyes, 
That I know,
I know it to be so!
That the planets have aligned long ago

And they welcomed Pluto into their family again
Kiss me, hold me tight! 
Don’t let the moon-dust frighten you…
I carry them on my back, you see
The remnants of the guardian’s tears
They dispel my hallowed hesitancy

You orbit around me
A wasp, tempted by sweet, supple bloom
And my shady colors have beckoned all but one
If it is your sting I will receive, 
Then give it all, Sun! 

For many a time have I been welcomed to spheres no longer categorized as the norm
Still I find the farther I go, the warmer I become
Pluto, take your eyes out of dreamland
Kiss me, hold me tight! 
Be my moon shining in your dim-admired light

Posh are your assumptions, oh privileged planet
Welcomed to your family, I took mystery for granted
And pressed hard on my hesitancy to accept

Into pupil-filled eyes that have long since….
Wept


Details | Free verse | |

Sister: A Lament

For Maxine


Sister, was there forgiveness for she who bore you?
For us, your siblings and sometime charges?
For all who would not help, but hastened your demise?
The marble coldness of your corpse,
to my touch, is like an electric shock.
The limbs, the torso, with sudden strangeness,
now bear you slight resemblance.
You feared all pain, but died without complaint.
Who can fathom what you felt?
Was there a last, sharp stab?
A welcome to oblivion?
Or even an awareness of your loss?
Or was death no more spectacular
than a tire deflating, slowly,
quietly, unrecognized?
And was that the shame of it?
That your life ended, so early,
so silently, and death
was no extravaganza?


Details | Free verse | |

My name has a meaning

My name, Bojosi
Is a fire which started
In my mother
And consumed 
Her inside
When she delivered 
Me to this world

She says
“ When I was imprisoned
   in a maternity ward
   at the hospital
   at the time of your birth
   son
   I was alone, none
   of them 
   I call my relatives
   I call my friends
   visited me 
   when I needed
   their love most
   and when they asked
   me, the nurses in white
   what name I give to you
    I called you Bojosi ”

my name, Bojosi
short as it is
is a poem
that my mother
composed 
when joy and pain
of giving birth
prevailed in her life

my name has a meaning…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bojosi is translated loneliness

**10th place winner on the contest " April Poem" sponsored by Destroyer Poet**


Details | Free verse | |

30 Minutes

*****30 minutes*****
When I see or feel something sad 
I hear the sound of your steps
When you were moving away from me 
After those 30 sweet emotional minutes 
That we spent by playing in the paradise of love
 
How can I forget those 30 minutes 
Which change the vision of my heart 
How can I erase your picture from my head
Next to those princesses who deserve my love
My heart is locked behind bars in your jail
 
Oh, in my bedroom, I feel so good as sad
The magic of those sacred 30 minutes happened there
I savored your innocent body, drank your delightful breath 
You were divinely appetizing, you trembled under my body 
Your sighs made me so powerful that I didn't want to stop
Oh my God, Those 30 little minutes are the best event of sad life


Details | Free verse | |

Like A Broken Teacup

Sitting on the shelf like a broken teacup
I go on despite these difficult moments
I run into myself with Irish green eyes and permanent tear stained cheeks
I've endured the immensity of agony
I’ve turned down all those so-called hot lovers sulking in this harsh yellow land
I wrestle with the ongoing struggles of this evil world 

No…nobody can go backwards
You see, you and I were never meant to be
So...don't tell me your hurt is my fault
I’ve assessed these holes in my life-have you assessed yours?

It was a lifetime ago…forever gone in all that I was 
In a curious way I’ve known the debris of myself ...
I’m more damaged than I care to admit

Here I am…pathetically sitting in the rubble of where my heart lives
A thin-skinned loner- a re-cycled me of who I used to be 
I can't waver yet again, to take another chance at love
I've known too much time away from it all
So evident in the moment of my blinding conscience
Pondering the un-gentleness of things
That should have been beautiful...but were not

And so, I pick up the pieces of my broken soul
From a broken love that was never meant to be
I'm in for a new change of lifestyle - a new change of heart 
A release of all those emotions that were tearing me down 
The old life I knew, I threw away with the teacup 
I got a new life, a new cup, and I'm forgetting you and the past





            

   

                  


Details | Free verse | |

Nature's Way

The mantis has caught the butterfly I feel sad Yet I do not want to intervene in a design higher than I


Details | Free verse | |

We Were Drunk Once

Movies played but seldom watched
As we entangled on the couch
Intoxicated by each other, we drank wine to clear our heads
Things were simple in those times

You were red-eyed and freshly mangled
I wanted so badly to make you smile and forget her
For a time I think I succeeded 
We were blissful in our distraction
Playing grown up as we discovered each other

Long nights where sleeping was forsaken
We preferred to lie intertwined 
Talking 
Smiling
Laughing
The sun would rise and you would leave, reveling in how the hours had escaped us
Smiling at the pink tinged sky
Only to repeat the process nightly

Then we traded places
I am the red-eyed one, and another tries to help me forget you
Sometimes he succeeds
Perspective feels like a cruel joke
Could have
Would have
Should have

Someday he will have red eyes too
A cycle perpetuated


Details | Free verse | |

Missing You

Can't you see it
Flashing in the night?
Can't you feel it?
You're taking away its light.
Can't you see it
Fading out of sight?
That's my heart, lost and lonely,
And it's missing you tonight.


Details | Free verse | |

A dump truck full of staples

If my heart breaks and there’s no one around
Does it still make a sound
Does it still fall to the floor
And shatter on the ground
And if I buy a million rolls of duck tape
And a dump truck full of staples
Can I patch it back together 
If I took a mile of cloth and wound it around
Would it mend back 
If I made sure it was tightly bound
If I was asked to give it all 
And I gave it
Should I expect something in return
When’s it my turn
Who’s going to catch me when I fall
You asked me to hold your world 
Like I was Atlas balancing it on my shoulders
But it was more then that
You asked me to do it walking a tight rope
Up in the air
As if I were a cat
Who could land on my feet
But there was no safety mat
I’m more like a kite
With need of a string 
So when the winds blow me about 
I have someone that can bring 
Me in
So when I’m out there taking on the storm
And even if I get ripped 
And even if I’m a little torn
I’m still anchored like a ship at sea
But my ships titanic 
And I got pulled down
And my heart played the captain 
Staying with his ship 
As it drown
As it was pulled me 6 feet underground
But my hearts not a vampire 
That can rise out of the grave
It can’t heal itself after each encounter
Its more like a zombie
Rotting and falling apart
Not knowing better then to keep moving
Even when its not recognizable as a heart
But nobody said zombies were smart
I built my heart like a comet 
To burn bright across your midnight sky
But if you remember in class a comet doesn’t fly
Its falls
It falls into the atmosphere 
And if it doesn’t get burnt up
If it lands somewhere near
And I was to pick it up and be like here
It would be a cold black lump
It would be a hard rock 
A starting block
In a wall
That would put china to shame
That could stop a freight train
And if there’s someone to blame
Its me
Because I was given eyes to see
And if I would of used them to look back
I could of seen it wasn’t meant to be


Details | Free verse | |

Ignored

We talked,
But I wasn't heard,
We walked,
But you scattered,
We built,
But you destroyed,
I thought,
But you acted,
We were determined,
But you exterminated...

You were blind,
I was sighted,
You were darkened,
I was lightened,
I was myself,
You weren't yourself...

I was lone,
No one cared.

I was ignored,
No one cared,
About my emotions...


Details | Free verse | |

Lucinda

Her name is Lucinda, a mere child, just turned fourteen
This hapless woman child, born of the blood of many lands
Conceived of youthful passion, in a moment of youthful lust  
She arrived unplanned, unwanted and unloved, as no child ever should
Like you and I she has her hopes, her dreams, her needs and her plans
Here before us stands, this lovely child on the cusp of a blossoming womanhood
Abandoned by those who should care but who are oblivious to
Her wants, her needs, her dreams
Cast to the hands of fate to drift alone upon these savage streets, alone to face the night
You know they found her early Sunday morning, at early morning light
Lying silently in the crimson blood, the blood that once had held her precious life
Her name was Lucinda, a mere child, a lovely child, just turned fourteen
Cry a tear for her, SCREAM.


Details | Free verse | |

HEARTBREAK

I carry a burden
I bear a pain
My chest heaves out and in.
I search for slumber, but sorrow seeps in.
my pupils remain dry like the Sahara.
When a tear or two represents release.
My thoughts assume aimless tirade,
Staring at the dark ceiling
Listening to love-talk on the Fm.
Still, you dominate the occupation of my musings.
I’ve lost desire to partake in the nightly norm.
I’ve been gifted with hurt, and I loathe her guts
I toy back and forth with the details of my affliction,
I swing the blames between our names.
I’m too manly to bear this feminine state.
I tell myself, but I fear it’s late.
I yearn for closure, or a bit of escape.
Yet, even that, the elements starve me.
Is this my portion of the whore named 'heartbreak?
Was I in love and didn’t recognize her?
Now, I’m antsy, I sit up.
I scramble to my feet, and pace the passage.
The snores of the household bring forth reality.
I’m frozen to a spot as it dawns on me.
The impossible has seen light.
The Jews have been bested in battle.
I’ve been in love, and now she's gone
I’m left with heartbreak.
The bride of a love gone sour.


Details | Free verse | |

Color of a Man's Character

The Color of a Man’s Character
We all bleed
And cleave to 
Those we leave

We all smile when we are greeted
And cry when we are mistreated

Why do we choose to abuse others 
For the color of their skin?

Why do we think that only 
Our own color should win?

We’re all the same underneath 
We all deserve peace 
When we lay down to sleep

Love one another while you can
Show your son how to be gracious
The color of a man’s character 
Is how he treats his fellow Man.


Details | Free verse | |

Masquerade

You saunter through the double doors
Head held high
Chest puffed out
Putting on airs
You think you’re so clever, so deceiving
Showing up baring the most ornate mask
But I see right through
The mask that you wear tonight
You think it will conceal
You think just tonight
In this hour
You can be somebody else
But you’re dancing with the Belle of the Ball
This is MY Masquerade
And this is the 147th event
You just don’t recognize me
Because I wear a different mask each time
Your mask is cheap material
Sequins missing, feathers askew 
Such feeble attempts
I smell your bravado
Putrid and reeking, stinking up the air
But I see right through
I’ve donned masks my whole life
That’s why I am the bearer of this sash
That you see around my neck 
“Strongest Person I Know”
But I allow no one to gaze under the mask
Sure I play the Belle oh so well
But if you all saw beneath
Saw WHY I’ve had to wear masks
You’d strip me of my title
You’d rip off my sash
Break the pearls from my neck
You’d run for the door tonight
Quicker than Cinderella at the stroke of midnight
That’s the beauty of a Masquerade
You can pretend to be something you’re not
When one guise becomes worn
When it loses its sparkle
It’s glamour and charm
That first catches your eye
Well it’s quite alright 
Because I have a treasure trove 
BURSTING with masks
Grab another and keep dancing
Twirling the night away
Never skipping a beat
But when the music finally comes to an end
When the door closes and the final guest departs
Empty wine glasses are seen scattered all around
The only sound is the echo of my heels
When the confetti lies lifeless on the floor
That’s when I remove my mask
Exhausted, worn and weary
When I gladly, almost desperately 
Take off my tattered sash 
And throw it beneath my feet
Because I’m not resilient and strong now
I feel weak, frail and reclusive in my realm
That’s when the tears start to brim
That’s when I wish someone else held the title
So stripped and naked
Alone to clean up the mess
Everyone else has left behind
But there’s no one to there to pick up the sash
Just me and the sound of my tears
Echoing as they hit the floor
Almost fearfully I pick up the sash
Dust off the confetti
Smooth out the wrinkles
Before placing it back around my neck
As I throw my shoulders back
Standing taller than ever
Wiping away tears that no one saw
I walk back to my trunk
My trunk of the most decorative
Ornate, obscuring masks
Finding another to wear
As I prepare for the next façade
The next Masquerade 


Details | Free verse | |

Not so blue

If she only knew what she could do?
We all see the problems that have blemished our door 
Missed holiday dinners where she left an empty plate 
Promises that were never kept 
Most of us would never dare to speak of it away from the family 
But I must dare to speak of her it hurts my heart so 
She left on a trip to nowhere and didn’t look back
Sure she thinks we are stupid blind at that 
All her lies and phony tales trying to hide the unbalanced scales 
Her dreams failed to see her through so the pills just grew 
They grew a place to hide away from us 
They grew a place to settle at best 
But now they’ve taken over her life
She fights with everyone she once cherished and enjoyed
She has grown to be more and more demented 
And the constant need for drama and disorder
The younger members in the family don’t ask for her anymore 
She just drops off presents when she feels like it at our doors 
No warm family interaction it’s just too hard for her to do 
Why she needs to save her energy for her family in a bottle that just grew 
She’s always conniving and planning to take something for free 
While she settles for less and goes on a taking spree 
If she only knew what she could do with a prayer from God? 
Her addiction would break through 
And we’d be a family not split, and not so captive and blue 

 Written for the Unmentionables contest by Debbie Guzzi 
(This poem was about my sister’s addiction to pills!)



Details | Free verse | |

Vanishing Animals

(African human populations are being killed off by war,
famine, disease, and neglect...much like many rare
other species...when will we pay attention and try to
help them?)

Time,
stretching out, encompasses curtains,
on distant savannas, of shimmering heat.
And animals vanish:
ibex and antelope;
elephant; grouse.
Here once, now going or gone.
And time vanishes now.
Animals gone, one has no focus.
Moldering greenery, mute,
moves mainly in wind --
pliant life, submitting to breezes,
passive in sun. Rooted in spots
not chosen or won.
Plants do not vanish.
They prosper.
We do not prosper.
We vanish, as animal,
and go hardly noticed.
A dirge, as animals vanish.
We vanish unnoticed.


Details | Free verse | |

Last Sonnet



Hither I stand, at crossroads,
And then I gaze, at the yonder end-
The vague horizon from where I began;
And all that I may ever deem
Is that- my days
Have been a waken dream.

Hither I stand, at the edge of my dream;
Then I wonder, at the depth of my trance-
An adventurous journey through the wondrous woods;
An idyllic stroll through the vicissitudinous meadow;
And from the final station as I depart,
All that I can ever say, is that
Perpetuation has been a rouge
Of fleeting phases of my life.


Suyash Saxena 
St. Stephen’s College.


Details | Free verse | |

I Listened What You Hadn't Said

I listened what you hadn't said,
I made dreams without any reason,
I don't know whose evil sight has got me,
There is no place of mine in this city,
The pain is more than before,
I have made a promise with myself once again,
Eyes and path are both silent,
Now I can't talk like before,
My lips tremble,if I try to speak,
The secret of the heart can not be told,
There is an effect over me,
Though I am travelling,but I have no companion,
I kept going far,
I kept coming closer,
Once again she came into view,
Once again the matter was about to start,
The smoke from the past is prickling my eyes,
Your condition is not like me,
Why is there a little sadness in this happy news?
Why the same world is forming,
Which I have left far away?
It has once again come in my sight,
The past moments are aching my heart,
Though the fire had extinguished,
The wound kept on burning...










Details | Free verse | |

Journey to War

You are ready to embark on a journey.
A voyage destanation unknown!
Your mind is in a frenzy.  
But your worried about the things at home.
Your captain is calling.
The torment your hauling is more than a man
should carry alone.

Your journey is far and frightning.
you dare not close your eyes.
No fret my dear I'll still be here
When you dock your ship back home.

Keep your head low and watch you step.
My praires are with you and never regret.
You made a choice you felt was right.
Your family will pray. Your family will write.
We  will be there with you both day and nigtht.
In your heart is where I will be. 
To guide you through this war.
Your children and me.

I love my soldier!


Details | Free verse | |

Her Nasty Group-Sex

She had even nasty group-sex
With different guys
Couple of times

She is so fast
As if she is a brakeless car

Though she is a housewife
Of another guy
Year after year
She tried to make me 
Crazy for her
But I didn’t know
About her character
She insulted me
Several times
For not raping her

Now 
She doesn’t want me at all
Cause I have disclosed
All truths about her
Now she hates me always
As if I am a scar on her face


Details | Free verse | |

Natural gemstones of life

Earth’s natural gemstones thunder down
Miriards of multi sized scattered diamonds tumbling
trained jewels, beads, roll down roof glazing
Tiny shards of light begin to bounce, dance and reflect magnificantly
At first twinkles of days sunlight peep from behind storm clouds
Enters sunrise, day breaks
Vast darkness of night-times tears quickly disperse
evaporating to the brighter warmer climate
Nature’s tears are quickly dried 
Outside still few mirrors remain reflecting the skies and beauty
Besides these little basins of wonder
patchy shadowed pavements still damp retract
As temperatures rise I recollect musing over shrinage of moisture
Just as the tides retrace their steps back to the oceans
But who ever sees their journey thereafter
The cycle of life continues whether we notice or not
So every droplet wasted counts
As climates change so must we
Earth and sea compositions alter
It’s down to us to make a difference
To help preserve and protect the living species
and precious commodities we need for every day living
before these treasures are lost, gone from our world altogether
Richer or poorer are we crumbling our planet
At the cost of bling we run down waste holes
Or leave to trail the land around us
Are we throwing our futures away
Should we not be evaluating the cost of new things precious
The waters of life, catch them if you can
Earths natural gemstones thunder down


Details | Free verse | |

The Day my Daughters Grow Up

Yesterday
I could see their births as if it was just
Yesterday
A time when all I knew was love 
Yesterday
I’d no thought for tomorrow, just the day
Yesterday
How they changed the world in every way
Yesterday

Little smiles
How they melted this man, their father’s heart
Little girls
How they instantly became a needed part
Little hands
That held tightly to the palm of mine
Little babies
How they’ll always be this man’s sunshine
Little girls

But when they grow up
 I’ll be so sad…
My world will then lose 
the babies I had…
I’ll have just the memories 
of their touch…
The day my daughters… 
grow up…

Maybe
They’ll never fall in love with any boy
Maybe
But, then they’ll never learn of all that joy
Maybe 
They’ll wait until they reach old forty two
Maybe
But, that’s a dream that won’t come true
Maybe

But when they grow up
 I’ll be so sad…
My world will then lose 
the babies we had…
I’ll have just the memories 
of their touch…
The day my daughters… 
grow up…

One day I will walk them down the aisle
They’ll look at me with that little girl smile
I’ll do everything to hold back the tears
Forced by the memories of all their years

The day my daughters… 
grow up…

One day
When I am old and they come to visit me
One day
I’ll still see them as kids, though with families
One day
Despite age, they’ll always be my little girls
One day
Is every day that I’m alive in this world
One day

The day my daughters… 
grow up…
Is the day, 
I’ll grow up…too


Details | Free verse | |

Does The Sun Shine For Everyone

Does The Sun Shine For Everyone? When the sun shines - does it shine for everyone? A lot of people think not - while others believe it does. Some people have cloudy days, others have sunny days. still others have dark days, they never seem to see the light. I enjoy the cloudy days, but I appreciate a nice sunny day. I guess it depends on what destiny has for us. A lady woke up one morning. she later went and opened the front door. She saw it was very windy and dark, like a bad storm was coming. She said - what a horrible day and closed the door. After making that comment, she heard a voice say - tomorrow is going to be worst. she could not believe what she had heard and said to herself - what could be worst than this? The next day the lady woke up to a beautiful sunny day. She went and took a look outside and said - OH what a beautiful day this is. This time, she did not hear a voice. Later that day - her baby died. The sun - I think does shine for everyone, only not at the same time, but at different times. we have to learn to enjoy the days, whether it rains, or shines, whether, it's freezing, or super hot. There will always be a ray of sun light for us somewhere...
11/05/2013 Written by Lucilla M. Carrillo Note: The moral of this is - that we should not complain about the days that we have. Each day is a gift from God given to us for free. I was told that this acctually happened many years ago.


Details | Free verse | |

Immobilized

I wiped away the tears of a crying 
Child
Yesterday

And felt as though I were wiping
My own

But couldn’t dry them

Couldn’t dry
Them

As hard as 

I tried

A neighbor knocked on my
Door
Today

Asked me if  I would move 

My car

And felt as though I were spinning
My wheels

Because I couldn’t drive it

Couldn’t 
Drive

As hard as

I tried

Please
Let me step 
Forward

But know I can’t go 
Any farther

Please
Let me step 
Backward

But know I might trip
Fall over

Please
Let me step 
Sideways

But know  I 
Hurt 

With 
Every
Inch

Please

Let me step

Let me step

Any way

I can













Details | Free verse | |

Whispering Leaves

Autumn leaves whisper my name
Follow me, follow me
They dance playfully down the path

A gust of wind creates a smile
Golden leaves, kissed by the sun
Fiery orange leaves
Unraveled, undone
Resting amber leaves
Resting peacefully

Sexy, sultry, seducing
Whispering my name
Follow me, follow me
They lead me down the path
Down the path of despair
Darkness, cold, desolation

I hear laughter in the distance
Evil, eerie, deceptive
I feel a chill through my bones
To the core of my soul
The leaves have disappeared
Down the path
I can’t see them anymore

My heart is heavy
My soul is empty
The path is lonely
The leaves deceived me


Details | Free verse | |

The Blue Ballad

Burdened waves slow motioned,gently lift tired eyelids-whispers.
Speaks an incomprehensible raspy language to subconscious;
Mind unaware,eyes chained to where blue meets azure.
Mourning waves wailing past sorrows unforgettable.

Scorching sun above witness, time's healing ointment
Calms sloshing, turns to gurgling, frothing & silence.
Waves' heights mark decibels, joy & pain quantified,expressed.
Wisened serene waters meditate,singing soothing hymns
To lone hearts seeking life's meanings in the abstract.

Descending  blanket of darkness muffles frolicking surf.
Agony laden screams, writhing to escape clutch of terrors
Unknown. The blue deepens, murky black leaves sea affected.
Penance of shouting, weeping & sobbing at the altar
Of solitude, fruits into return of pristine innocence.Rebooted.

Burdened waves slow motioned,gently lift tired eyelids-whispers,
Carriers of secret messages,unheard stories & salty tears.
Caressing sleeping ears, rise,rise to the sounds of the sea.
Rise...rise soon for a new Blue Ballad lies in wait.
                                  -©Viraj Shah 30.11.2013


Details | Free verse | |

Graveyard diggers- a frustrated quest

LETS NOT CRY FOR THOSE WHO ARE DEAD

AS EMOTIONS ARE BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD

LONGING FOR LOVE IS FUTILE

PALE AND FRAGILE

I WISH THOSE BLUE EYES

TO BE MINE FOREVER

ALAS ! DREAMS ARE THE ENEMIES OF DAYLIGHT

MOONLIGHT IS CONCEALING MY THOUGHTS

INSOMNIA IS GRIPPING MY VISION

WAYWARD THOUGHTS CULMINATES AS

MY LOVE POEMS ARE CHAINED IN PRISON…








Redfiery
2011




Details | Free verse | |

The Devils Visitation

I gave you the benefit of the doubt ,I ran to your every shout,I even tolerated your strikes and insults day in day out, I believed your every lie, that came out of your mouth,and acted as if it was truth,letting my anger die out, but now its time to take the trash out. I allowed you to contaminate my blood and flow through my veins,call me hubris names,I allowed you to drive me insane,to deceive me again and again with out restrain.you deceived me but believe me,I knew it all along, I was just trying to hold on strong. Like a solder with the last bullet ,I just didn't know when to pull it,when to pull the trigger,I guess I had to, the day you called me a nigger. Yes you seem to sincerely hold and kiss me,but yet you was with another man, when you called to say you missed me,who knew how deceptive bliss could be,like skeletons bellow the beauteous and glistening sea.I couldn't see because of your sun shine, your well planed deception and the profession of love, which now to me is mystery now theirs no need to worry, your history, like slavery and legal segregation, because to you I was never your better half. I was just another momentary stimulation ,alleviation ,awaiting termination, like a used rag after skins dirty visitation ,but fooled to keep visiting,thinking it was just my toleration, the intensification of this situation is far beyond ratification,  you are an abomination,instead of dealing with this this, I should have stuck to poems and masturbation, this is no speculation, exaggeration dramatization, or erroneous accusation.Your lies and motives are nasty, how could I let your  funk of a skunk pass my nostrils evaluation?Your unveiled deception brought me to a factual realization,it was to work on my punctuation I should have dropped five million six hundred and eighty five periods to end this death sentence  for good....


Details | Free verse | |

Wonders of my life

I can't help but wonder
I can't help it but I just have to look back
The scar's that I have healed
Every picture I have is so random
I could cry a river
I can't stop the anger within
How can I love and hate thee at the same time
You were supposed to be my shield but you burnt me
You were supposed to be my oxygen but yet you're my 
carbon dioxide
My heart feels like an Ice box
You're a part of me
You're my strength yet my weakness
You're past yet my future
You're my enemy yet my family
I hate you and i love you at times
You break me but yet you make me


Details | Free verse | |

The plot of the sick life movie

recap from my chest 
reopened from your cold
attack the memories hurt 
the worst scars left on my
brain it just seems to rain
nothing but horrible failure
on the one who plays me 
in this sick life movie and 
the harsh reality of together
forever means for now 
the lights dim and cut!


Details | Free verse | |

The old man

just as everything is in its place 
the cracked pitcher in the cellar’s window 
the maize porridge pot amid the verandah flowers 
the knife sharpener in the kitchen table’s drawer 
the squared clock hung slanting on the wall 

day after day the old man 
takes off the straw hat from its hook even if it’s cloudy 
pulls it down on his head with both hands 
opens the street gate till it hits the wall 
upright like a thistle he looks down the road 

under the hat colored like an autumn sun 
it gets warmer 
his face furrows overturn a smile 
as if the moist earth sliced by the old times plough 
under the steps of sons grandsons and great-grandsons


Details | Free verse | |

Empty

I’ll miss your warmth
Beside me
My bed cold and bare
Comfort has gone
Day’s light, has but faded
Hours pass, minute after minute,
Endlessly.


Details | Free verse | |

Falling into Darkness

Falling inside the black never made much sense to me
Struggling for air 
Gasping for breath
Can you hear me?
I'm whispering your name
No one's here to hear except gathered shadows and sillouttes of nobodies
I've been let down again
What am I supposed to beleive?
How am I supposed to feel?
Hearing the deafening roar of falling my thoguhts go back to you
I'm falling in the black again
What did you mean?
How did you say what you mean?
I need you
If only for a time
I need the light, even if dimmed
Don't let me fall into the black
I won't survive again
I can't go on living like that
I need the light
Please don't push me back into the darkness.


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Heart

Everyday I am happy to be
in the presence of my angel,
he is my one true source
of comfort.
The sun always seems to shine
regardless of rain clouds drifting
across the azure sky.
His touch sends lust coursing through
my veins making my heart beat faster.
The frequent devotion transformed into
blood-red roses that he bestows upon
me with his sparkling smile.
Sadly this was short-lived for my
happiness turned into pain,
tears fell like raindrops down my
soft velvet skin.
My inner screams went unheard,
no-one seemed to notice my cries
for empathy or relief from this
dark and lonely place.
My heart has been broken into
a thousand pieces so small that
they could pass through the eye
of a needle.
My angel has fallen, jealousy
roamed within his heart making
his baby blue eyes turn green
with envy.
My heart feels lost in this
ocean of lost hope and trust;
happiness and joy do not exist
in this hellish bubble of pain
and agony.
My heart has been broken and
the voice of my angel no-longer
enters my mind for he has now
fallen leaving nothing but
a betrayed heart in his wake.


Details | Free verse | |

The Nobodies

We are the nobodies
Unloved, un-hated, un-phased
Outcasts of the world of popularity.
Banished to the fringes of existence.
Finding joy- is a rarity- no solidarity
Always seen at a distance-
because we are the resistance

Nameless faceless and speechless-
When we speak the response is an echo
Bouncing around in a black hole
We can't hide from it so lets go
Into the darkness of our abandoned soul

Alone, lost, and shrouded by darkness
left to face the shadows of heaven
Lost in life- Our suffering is endless!
To each other we are brethren. 

We are numbed by pain
And blinded by shame
we are social life's bane
playing popularity's game

We are the nobodies...


Details | Free verse | |

Photo Album

I keep an old photo album 
on my bottom shelf. 
I get it out every once in a while, 
just to sift the time away 

I keep a lot of pictures 
There inside that book. Some are old and a little 
Yellow now, but still somehow clear. 
Funny hair and clothes. Gigs and weddings, 
funerals and newspaper clips, 
just like time standing still 

Tonight I looked through it again, 
just knowing what I might find. 
Somehow I think my heart 
knew what it was looking for. 
by the time I got halfway through 

As I neared the end 
of this blue memory lane…I saw it again… 
the picture of you and me on our first night together. 
I remember your blue eyes, your beautiful smile…. 
I remembered you….in my heart 

You are, were, and always will be the love of my life, 
The memories came flooding back, 
too fast for words, and too strong to hold. 
I remember God smiling down on us 
As we shared our first night. 

Dear God-how I loved you 
(and still love you) so much 
But now it can’t be…when 
time and pain have driven us apart. 
How did it get this way? 

For minutes that seemed like years, 
I cried my tears on your picture 
And kissed your cheek on that page 
I was trying so hard to keep the pain away. 
But it came unrelenting… 

And I’m afraid there are 
many more tears to cry 
who knows when they’ll come 
My heart is forever yours, captured 
in a snapshot on page 24 

As I lay me down to sleep 
I pray the Lord keeps you safe 
May you feel loved tonight 
even though 
I’m very far away 

I’ll always keep your picture 
And your kiss inside my heart 
I just can’t bear to 
throw away the memory 
Of the love that we’ve lost 

Your picture is still inside 
That album on my shelf 
Sealed by tears, and prayers 
Memories too painful to hold on to, 
and too precious to let go


Details | Free verse | |

Her last winter

For Contest: Free Verse






So cold her lips speechless
to soon forgotten loves warmth 
Emptied heart frozen
Pastel rainbows sightless
Darkened clouds dripping overhead
Acid rain remover of all tenderness
wounds bleeding quickly
frozen as candied apples shinning
A soul lay dying with no renewal
of seasons awaiting
Thoughts to painful to keep
simply vanish in the thaw
her last winter...


Details | Free verse | |

I am alone-2

I am alone

I’m all alone
Yet again
In this sparsely populated plain
My dearheart having gone off the screen 
Giving me  a really nasty turn
To hit the sad way of the forlorn
But your love I never did spurn
Thinking of you in the dreamlands that burn.

And just once
Only once
Hand me my overdue recompense
Fill me  with an ounce of tenderness
Just strum these hyper strung weird chords
So I could moan thanks in all fairness
To the one beating the beast out of breasts
A prelude to  pulverising the pelvis
But your love I never did spurn
In Cupid’s fair, in fairylands that burn.

I will wait
At any rate
For whatever it is you deem right
To this one with a lot of blights
Turned inside out and flaming now bright
Crush to get crushed by taut thighs at night
But your love I never did spurn
Thinking of you in the scrublands that burn.

I’m all alone…yet again
In this sparsely populated plain
My dearheart having gone off the screen
Giving me a really nasty turn
To hit the sad way of the forlorn
But your love I never did spurn
Thinking of you in the dreamlands that burn.

16 Feb 13


For Cyndi Macmillan's " My spice box:Sensual poetry" contest

For Catie Lindsay's Freeverse contest on 6th mar 13


Details | Free verse | |

I'm tired of pretending part 1

I wish nothing more than to quit this game of pretend
I want to go back to being me, and forget whatever happened
I play pretend
Like a little girl who plays dress up.
I play pretend
To be an innocent little girl again
I play pretend
To make everyone happy
To make everyone leave me alone
I forgot who I am.
Am I really this nice of a person who gets walked over excessivly?
Then why do I have another part to me, screaming to be let go of.
To be let out...
Why is it whenever I let that half of me out even the slightest
People jump the gun and make me out to be a monster?
I am scared of that other half
I'm completely sure what she's like
I know that it is almost nothing like the other my other half
Why can't I be all of me?
I'm so tired of pretending.
I smile so much, my face hurts.
I smile so much I want to cry
I hate to smile.
False smiles, False laughs, and lies
That's how I play pretend.
"I swear I'm okay."
That's an empty promise.
I hate pretending
It kills me every day.
It makes me forget the other half inside
That claws and screams to get out.
It makes me forget the pain
Which only comes back later
Intensified, stronger, and more violent.
I'm tired of putting up with false friends
Who do nothing but accuse me
And point out my mistakes
Yell at me, and want to change me
Wanting to bend and break me
I'm tired of pretending
Of being so malluble just to make other people happy
But what about me, huh?
When will Samantha get her day to be happy?
When will Samantha get to be herself?
When can she stop playing pretend?
IF she can even stop playing pretend.
I'm tired of these false friends
With their invisible unknown strings set into my back.
I'm tired of puppet masters for friends
People are so stupid
They are so blind and trusting
They can never tell when I say a lie.
"I'm okay."
"No, it's fine, trust me."
I'm tired of making everyone else happy, except myself.
Why should I rely on people anyway?
They only dissapoint me in the end.
Love dissapointed me
Love betrayed me
Friendship stabbed me in the back
and they both lied to me.
What have I left?
Nothing really.
Music for one thing
My mind for another
But really, what have I left?
Nothing.
I'm tired of pretending...
I wish that I could stop...
But I've become so accustomed to it...
That it's become like a drug I can't quit.
Not to make me happy...
But everyone else around me happy.
And me all the more miserable.


Details | Free verse | |

Under Construction

I am in this world
But, I am not of this world
I walk beside you
But I am not your friend
You greet me warmly
But, you never let me belong
I am just a creature
In the oasis of fairytales

I am as disenchanted with you
As you are with me
But, you need me
And I need you
It’s a destructive cycle
I am a creature
In this oasis of fairytales

I hear the thunder
Within my soul
But, I cannot dance
There’s one you see
Who holds the key
And she’ll never let me out
I am a creature
In this oasis of fairytales



U 
  N
     D
        E
           R
C
  O
    N
      S
        T
          R
            U
              C
                T
                  I
                    O
                      N


Details | Free verse | |

Black Jungle Cat

Several women were in the breezeway
Going from the sanctuary to the Fellowship Hall.
On either side of the French doors,
They gazed out the large windows in fear.
As I walked up to them, one of them asked
In hopeless desperation, "Who will go outside
And get the supplies for us."  They looked at each other.
She said this because the enemy was on our shores,
Patrolling every city, great and small.  I saw the armies.
People were afraid to venture outside their houses.
There were no soldiers in the street at this time.
It was a clear day.  I said to them, "I will go."
I opened and closed one French door and felt it...
FEAR was thick.  It crouched like a black jungle cat,
Panther or jaquar, lurking in the brush for prey.
My eyes were wide open as I walked the distance
Of the Staff's parking area.  There was a chamber 
Underground set aside for certain supplies.  
The enemy's presence was strong as I looked around.
I think I had to unlock its door before I opened it.
I took what was needed and walked through Fear.
I never saw him, but the enemy's threat to pounce
Was felt with each step until I quickly reached the porch
And entered back inside the church in front of the office.


(This is a dream I had the year after 9/11.)


Details | Free verse | |

Farewell My Friend

I remember the days that we
spent together in my pursuit to
further my knowledge, you as 
my mentor and I as your pupil.

Down through the years we have
had more then just a teacher and
pupil relationship, we became the
very best of friends.

I watched your hair turn grey and then
you watched mine, sadly I received
news today coming from afar that you have 
gone on your final journey and we 
shall never have those long academic
discussions ever again.

Such news that greeted me gave me
such a heavy heart and tears in my 
eyes, for I know I shall never see
my dear friend again.

I will forever cherish the fond memories 
of the past years we had shared and
our friendship and reminisce on all the 
good times for those will always be
with me.

You will always have a very special
place in my heart, my mentor and
my dear friend always.
A friend that shared my life.


Note: Farewell to Klaus Goebel, ING (Radio Engineer), Neu-Isenburg, Germany ~ may you rest in peace old friend.

4th July, 2012 (c) 


Details | Free verse | |

THE BLACK TENTH

That day is just another day,
Boarding buses driving car,
Some smile or sleep at hay,
Others chatting while driving far.

Thru and flow those journey,
One's mind will never across,
Death angel is on the hurry,
Waiting right spot for a man's loss.

Impact of dark angel wings,
Thrown and messed every stream,
All those agony brings,
Smash out those living dreams.

15 lives been told,
15 souls turned cold,
15 and 15 themselves,
Will never erased from shelves.

Family of 15 cried,
Shocked till tears dried,
The rest are in blurry side,
Come to known they are still alive.

That black tenth,
15 lost souls never reached home,
That black tenth,
Malaysia's most sour dome.

That black tenth,
Will forever remembered...


R.I.P for those 15 souls


Details | Free verse | |

deep-dark-hollowed heart

I stand 
I wait
I worried
for the things that may not happened

I hope
I pray
I cried
longing for a peaceful heart

All I wanted is...
when i close my eyes I won't feel afraid
and when I open my eyes, a smile will appear 
coz today i breathe again

in a deep-dark-hollowed heart
like living as a sinner
like walking around in a forest finding a way out
God, released me from this feeling...

Nobody wants to feel alone
like a stranger in a crowded place
take me to a home where love can hold me
to a nice sleep when the night comes

I am lost so find me
I cry so hug me
I am lonely so love me...


Details | Free verse | |

asking

All the things you should know
All the swings you’ve taken on me
But haven’t noticed at all
And there goes the things you won’t know

Can’t you see all I got to tell you?
Can’t you tell just by the sound of my steps?
And as it seems you won’t notice at all
And I won’t tell you, not now, not tomorrow

Till you notice what have you done
How does that stomping on my dreams
Dragging all I know down
What I thought was concrete now is just flour on the floor.

So by now all I got to tell you
Is, ask me please
Just the right time, the right words and everything fine.
And it seems that here I’ll be for eons

With all this around me
And you don’t seem to care
You don’t care at all
With my broken past, and you can’t see it 

And there it goes my hope
Within this forest I don’t see a way out
And guarding what’s left it’s all I have.

And still you don’t care.

~Anna


Details | Free verse | |

Pirate Tears

Wretched traitors and thieves of emotions!
Blurring my vision and stinging my throat
Choking, choking until my mind melts and
Runs out, unchecked, through my silly red nose

I can make them stop if I really want to
And I do lately it seems....
By distracting myself with rancid thoughts
And blinking as though I were insane

I relegate them below decks and try to stave the flow;
Where they hide and slumber I don’t exactly know...
But I believe they have meetings regarding my resistance
And a mutiny is in the making even now;
I won’t stand a chance

Perhaps with diligent disregard 
They will cease their formidable efforts
Stopping with the constant pricking and slicing 
Of the tender places down deep in my heart

For I fear their release that I will be swamped;
Thrown overboard in the confusion and damp
Never again to captain this ship
That I have poured my soul into governing

Tears, filthy pirates, go away…
For you are not welcome here


Details | Free verse | |

Nobody's Child

The scorn of abandonment,
howls of silence
when a room entered,
the school yard clatter
community chatter,
pulpit perniciousness
traduce in speculation.
Housewives with
corrective attitudes
deft in moralistic anomalies,
snarls over the broom
with piercing eyes declaring
“Hands off
there stands the scrum of the womb”.
Yes i am a motherless child
raised in an environment
of inclement
wagging tongues,
haggish gapes
smug righteousness,
born of woman
alas not a mother!

copyright 2012
Harry J Horsman 2012


Details | Free verse | |

When Death Calls

When death calls, all is forgotten.
Chores are left undone.
Paintings are left unpainted.
Poems are left unwritten.
Suicidal ideation fantasizes.
The illusion of escapes rules.
Then, I go to the garden
Planting from dawn to dusk,
Escaping self-destructions.
One more time, I painfully wait 
So God can call me to eternity.
Tomorrow, flowers will bloom.
Photographs will be taken.
Life will be made full
Until the ideation returns
...to suck out my joy.


Details | Free verse | |

a dog with out a name

It rained again last night, as he woke up from the muddy dirt
he always sleep in.
As he stretches out as far as he can, ouch he said my body hurts
me so very bad again.
The bowl for food and water remain empty, and the grassy areas 
are so far away.
No home anymore the home I once had seems so far away it makes
me so, so sad.
I am hurting so bad I just want to stay in today so no one will be
mean to me.
I search the trash cans, dumpsters all around this town when people
see me they say ‘get out of here’.
I runaway as fast as I can while I lay down to rest my body, legs and
paws the food was thrown out.
my belly is groaning, I am so thirsty,  can’t remember the last time
I had ate any real food, all I eat is stick, twigs and grass.
Lonely as much as a dog can be, not one person reaches their hand out
 to me.
Night time came and he settles in for another lonely sleepless night.
Now all that remains is a small grave with the words that someone had
written, here lays a ‘dog with out a name’.
It's sad it was to late for this dog I now named 'Jake' no more pain,
hunger or thirst for him.
Rest in peace my Jake and we will meet you someday again.


Details | Free verse | |

Snowfall in my Mind

Winter in my blood colder than this December night, snowfall in my mind gradually turning me into a reptile preparing for hibernation. Deep blue night; her soft lip's warmth, warmer than a matchstick fails to ignite me,my wet mind, some blue melancholy playing with her nakedness. She wraps herself around me like a soft blanket, I can't feel those curves waiting to be melted, only wet and cold flesh of another reptile. No end of this winter night no end of my mind's snowfall, stay away from me now on this cold,winter night under those heavy snowfalls let me go into hibernation. ===================== **Not my story ;)


Details | Free verse | |

Emigration comes full circle

I left Ireland in the 80's with my husband and two babies for Holland. In 2003, we 
returned so that our children could have an Irish University education. Dublin was 
buzzing with life at the time, it was very expensive but we were home. Now in 2011, 
my daughter is emigrating, back down the old ancestral path, she is going to Madrid 
to teach English there. Our country has collapsed so badly, there is no employment 
here so we are exporting our young, educated children by the day. A sad day for me 
as my daughter leaves tomorrow. I wrote her this poem.


To Sarah
On the wave of emigration
I want you to know
That I see you, a fellow female
An equal on every level
Not just my daughter
My little pink princess
I see you as a woman
A power within this world
With oceans to offer
A lifetime still to learn
Go to your new life
A teacher in Madrid
Be free and fearless
Spread your wings and fly
Take the opportunities
Shape them to your dreams
You have all the tools
You can use them now.

Your analytic mind
Will help you make good decision
Fair and just rewards will ensue.
Your radiating heart
Will gift you new friendships
Maybe even a new love
All in good time
You will never be alone
Because you have a deep sense of self
This will be fortified
With this new tide
Your feet firmly planted
Will always serve you well
Balancing the ups and downs of Libra
Always true to yourself
Life will be true to you too.

We live in a new age today
This global world is small
As we email and skype
Fly back and forth to visit
We will continue to love
As mother and daughter
Our journeys through life
Shared
Forever together
My love
I will hold you safe
In my heart.
 


Details | Free verse | |

Remains Of A Driveway

Through you I seek to know:
What happened once below?

You ferns of resistance, I see you
Mixing it upward with 
A firm stance. 
(Such steely green weeds
Do smirk indeed
Above the empty path of horizon’s eye,
Blackened to nowhere).

What, though, do I see in you?

(A path lies vacant and wanting,
A land once named upon a dream;
A barren place now daunting,
Neglected and unseen).

Where is your truth?

(Does it rest within your clumsy bud’s dance
With a tertiary sky,
Or a raucous from your stem’s windward need 
To lead)?

Oh No.

I do believe:
It is your roots of defiance!

To know Home in no shame;
To forge through scarred soil with no blame!

Such courage you have:
To reap the shifting tar of fickle men, 
And safely hasten away 
From the notion of never again!

(Thirty some years have stood and fell
Yet…
Your quiet presence lives to tell
This hell,
Once known,
As Love’s canal).  

Oh eager green,
 I wish you well.


Details | Free verse | |

in class assignment l0l

inspired by and shamelessly ripped off of "Easter, 1916" by William Butler Yeats

I have heard from hushed voices
Of connections new and old
Underneath the light of the candle
About the table we were told.
About the retribution through blood
Brought on by discovery
Through a night in the pub
From a disillusioned companion
Around the fire at the club
A terrible beauty had been born
The revolution has begun
Where the motley was once worn


Details | Free verse | |

The Time Machine

(I was inspired by the movie "The Time Machine", to write this piece)


For days, weeks, and months,
he became a hermit of science,
working on a device 
to return to his beloved, to return
things as they were four months,
and a fortnight ago; two lovers
embracing a romantic walk together,
in a snowing evening.

Memories of her smile and good heart
gave him courage to create a device
that would make him disappear
from the present,
and meet her in the past.

He depended upon physics to alter
time and fate; to return his joy
and meaning once again…..


Details | Free verse | |

Love Thing

She will not say she was Predator.
She knows she was
(She has that throbbing memory to
remind her)
But it's in her intuition,
Her breath (her life)
To be Victim.
Let her play the part.

"It was like a game of chess
Against myself and I;
I won
And thus I lost-

We met by fate
Intertwined by what we loved
The ice gradually cracked and broke
And I wanted his flesh on mine,
His breath on mine
But he wanted me wholeheartedly.
ME!

But I was too torn
I am torn to pieces.

Yet I consented knowing...
Knowing...
I will break everything
So long as I'm broken
And without action,
Without thought,
He was made broken
And now he breaks everything.
A pestilent sick that penetrates.
How was I supposed to know he would grow ill?"

Now nod.
Smile until your jaw cracks,
Else she'll bicker
Til you do.
Don't show signs that you tracked her lie
But show pity...
She doesn't deserve pity
But smile with pity
Pity that the b**** lied to you.

That she deserves.


Details | Free verse | |

Daily 36 Alone in bed

36.
A digital clock makes no click,
But when waiting for my husband
I can swear I hear it tick.

I can’t sleep though work awaits,
But when midnight stares back,
An alarm won’t negotiate.

Why do I care? I have my own life to live!
But when the tossing and turning twists,
I have an angry phone message to give.

And you can all guess that goes off well,
But when you’re so riled up and sad,
You tell your dear one, “Go to hell.”

Then the wait the descent
 Hear every car pass away
  The worry and the fret
   Am I so easy to forget?
     Should I call once again 
      I am sure he heard it
       Now I am pinned.
        There is sure to be a fight,
          It is already way past midnight.
           What about work and the day,
            Never mind, I’ll make him pay.

I close my eyes and breathe deep,
But when you are worried,
It’s too hard to sleep.


Details | Free verse | |

The Feather Of A White Dove

I clung to your embrace
As your last breathe fled
Into the heavens bliss

Upon the feather of a white
Dove

Oh gently did the feather
Sail
Through the wind
Descending into the heavens

I think the heavens cried that
Day

For the clouds just rumble as
The tears started to pour

I thought I seen a beautiful white
Dove

Just perched upon your shoulder
As I clung to your embrace

Your last breathe silently fled
Upon the feather of the white dove

Oh gently did the feather sail

As the clouds began to rumble
And the tears overflowed

As you descended so gracefully
Into the heavens bliss

On the feather of a white dove


Details | Free verse | |

We all fear

Why do we feel hatred?
We fear discontrol.

Why don't they get it?
Why don't they comprehend?
Why do we wait?
Why do we protect?
Why do we run?
We fear destiny.

Why does it hurt?
Why does it burn?
Why do we fight?
Why do they betray us?
We fear love,
We fear friendship.

Why do we keep?
Why is it deep?
We fear the abyss.

Why hell?
Why heaven?
Why purgatory?
We fear darkness,
We fear light.

Why do we live?
Why do we die?
Why do we suffer?
We fear death,
We fear life.

We all live,
We all die,
We all keep,
We all fight,
We all suffer,
We all cry,
We all love,
We all wait,
We all give,
We all receive,
We all trust,
We all wish,
We all dream,
We all remember,
We all feel...

We all vanish,
We all rise,
We can ignite.

We fear destruction.
We all expect,
We all regret,
We all lie.

Why hate?
Why do we create?
Why do you stare?
Why do they glare?
Why explore?
Why hope?
Why goodbye?
Why shine?

We all think,
We all see,
We all go,
We all deserve,
We all pass,
We all fear...


Details | Free verse | |

A Drunk's Prison

 
A Drunk's Prison



Having sold cold misery to enjoy the lack of pain
         drinking spirits to blot out the cold hard rain
Beaten down, busted out and without prayer or hope
         thinking of a long step and a short rope
Another shot of whiskey to ease such morbid thoughts


This season of woes always brings out inner demons to play
        skipping rope while  cursing them to just leave
they sing unhappy and merciless off key melodies
        Another shot banishes them straight to hell
replaced by wailing women demanding more time!


No respect for a man drinking and desperately thinking
        of just how far once was up to have just now grabbed sickness!
Another drink sends them back to Hades
        RED COLORS BLASTING EYES SHUT !
Fallen and there is no getting up until the spirit leaves !



Not another shot, tomorrow they find this useless old tattered  
body!

Robert L.   08- 23 1987


Details | Free verse | |

A Melting Candle Sits

A melting candle Is, atop mine open sill As a refuge through and through What breaks the twilight swill Pierces blackened night And in proxy cries the fiery light A time to oft enflames to flicker Against fighting odds and winds do kill But, the wax it softens flowing thicker Becomes molten liquid, pure As teardrops, drips of life go quicker Falling down, surround a hardening heart As half lit shadows begin to stir Across an ever nebulous mind of sorts And where a solemn figure sits Waiting for return of love's visage Past into waning hours Hoping its presence shall soon pay a visit In the touch of tomorrow's lips


Details | Free verse | |

The Desert Church

The Desert Church

The church down in the canyon
Always in the shadows
It is a place that even God has forgotten
Sand fills the aisle where brides used to walk
Rocks cover the alter where prayers were offered
Bats hang in the decaying rafters
The sacramental wine has long since turned to dust
And the holy water was drank by thirsty animals
So many people prayed and hoped in the pews
Just as many sins were forgiven
The desert winds reclaimed a place built by God
The prayers are lost in the blowing dust
Yet the bell rings throughout the day
Swung by the wings of an angel
Telling no one that the church is there
Letting no one know that God is still alive
And He is waiting for someone to notice
For someone to come to this church
For someone to pray 
He is waiting for anyone


Details | Free verse | |

DISCRIMINATE

Discrimination is rampant elsewhere,
LGBT, PWD and Low Class person got there,
Is anybody can solve this?
Or nothing can break this.

Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Transgenders,
Everyone says they are curse,
In the society they are rot,
People sees abnormality on them,
They are criticize on physical.
How come they judge them?
They beautify our world,
They got a good career,
And what we sees now they are succeeded.

Persons with disabilities are unique,
But still they are criticize,
They can't get a job 'cause of situation,
Everyone looks them as trash,
Everyone thinks of their differences,
They are drag of everyone.
How come they judge them?
They are unique and talented,
They create a new world,
And what we sees now they are the highlight of all.

Low Class persons are discriminated.
People are ignoring them,
And make them slave.
Everyone sees they are hindrance.
People are teasing their situation,
And banish from the society.
But how come they judge them?
They are the life of society,
They have a noble job,
And a successor of everything.


Details | Free verse | |

Eclipse Of The Soul

Eclipse Of The Soul
By: Noel N. Villarosa


Plants harmonize to the sun to bring life aglow
And to rest at the night’s luminary
The sea is waiting for the wind to blow
And serve as cradle for fish hatchery

And mankind, on the hustle and bustle of each day
Gyrate on a merry-go-round, so tedious
Withal, a wishy-washy self
And a thrall of his own fear
Thither that place called ‘hades’
And in his dream the edelweiss and wisteria
Go down to ecocide
The fierce billow has taken many billet doux
Into a forlorn land
Pensive for a homing pigeon to carry his thought to God
That once awaken, a harmonica is playing
And a new paradise for dwelling
Many at threescore are not contented
And praying for a longer life
But many committed blasphemy so umpteen
And now yelling for the forgiveness of sin
And the fracas he brought to nature

Now mankind is waiting for the great covenant
For the realization of life, truth, and love as above all
And the destruction of sin, sickness, and death
Before he sees the complete eclipse of his soul


Written and posted in voicesnet.com poetry site: 28 October 2009 


Details | Free verse | |

The Cremation of My Uncle- 2

When his truck met
with nature so pure,
Did he know his time
was coming to an end?

Basic elements of life
taught each day
not to think twice.
Giving humans oxygen,
yet encouraging a raging fire,
just ordinary trees.
Did he know they would 
cut his time short?

A cremation vault so sacred
destroys our lives.
It put him in a vase
rather than a box.
Does he know now
that he has come
to an end?

-Caroline Youngless


Details | Free verse | |

Roses, Rubies, and Strawberries

Mi fantasma dulce

Send me a rose
This Valentine's Day
A single red

Reminds me of 
The  crimson light
We shared

Years ago

Mi fantasma dulce

Send me a ruby
This Valentine's Day
A single red

Reminds me of 
The sparkling passion
We shared

Years ago

Mi fantasma dulce

Send me a strawberry
This Valentine's Day
A single red

Reminds me of 
The earthen treats
We shared

Years ago

Mi fantasma dulce

Where did all those red years go?

Of

Roses
Rubies
And
Strawberries

Porque

Es día de San Valentín

 Y tú no estás

 Aquí


Details | Free verse | |

Alcoholism

Alcoholism, the pariah
feeding on the collapse
of self-control 
befuddling the brain's sensibility;
transforming intelligence
into ridicule.


Details | Free verse | |

Written Tragedy

A glimpse of heavenly bliss taken away |
My heart sinks as I can longer find |
For you, I willingly have trusted |
But you left, not even a glance back |

Didn't care to see the pain |
Didn't care to see the fragile heart |
To which a piece of it was broken |
Since the day you chose to be careless |

Sometimes I just want to give up |
It just hurts me for you no longer cherish |
Why can’t I have that same mentality? |
Yet, foolishly, here I am still holding on |

All I’m stuck with are distant memories |
Yet, the absolute and bitter part of it all |
Are the majestic memories you left with me |
Ones that are worth to hold onto for a lifetime |

But every time I think about it, I relive it |
Every time I relive it, I feel my heart bleed | 
Something so beautiful just to be thrown away |
It been better, had it never happened |

But you're not here to treat my wound |
Oblivious to my agonizing pain |
Only because I chose to conceal the truth |
Masking it within to not complicate your life |

But one can’t help but ask |
How could you have not noticed? |
Would you intentionally left me in the dark? |
To become estranged from a bond we once built on? |

It is only then, I begin to put a wall |
A wall that will never be broken down |
To not only protect myself from others |
But to protect others from me |

No longer able to trust or depend |
Unwilling to give my love or affection |
Who really knows what lies behind that smile? |
Everything I once believed in, cease to exist |

Nothing but words of deception; acts that kill |
Countless encounters, but only a few |
To whom I gave my all; my inner self |
It’s not easy for me, for I don’t trust many |

But only because a promise was made |
That you were the real deal; the true friend |
One who could not be altered to turn the other way |
But you have abandoned me; left me but a few words |

Left me when I needed you the most |
Leaving me stranded in the midst of confusion |
Made me to believe that I was unworthy |
Undeserving of an explanation or goodbye |

Initially, you rescued me from my own darkness |
You helped me to see my possible future in bright colors… |
Now, the only inspiration I have that keeps me going |
Is hopelessly writing about my once past tragedy |


Details | Free verse | |

Set Me Free

There was a baby happy and free
The apple of the eye of his family
Playing around and hiding in the trees
Whoever thought it’s his last smile they see

Through the darkness of the jungle came
Man-devils whose creation God is to blame
Cut the kid down with lethal shots
His body ripped like a shattered earthen pot

I was the one who led those men
Swooping down from our mountain den
Snuffing out the little flame of his life
My mind, since then, is full of strife

The mother came with her eyes in tears
The sight sent my body into shivers
The boy in her arms looked full of life
The hole in his heart told me it was a lie

The mother laid the baby on my lap and cried
Is this my baby, the one who died?
You’re the one who killed him, you devil in disguise
May Gods curse you, may heavens you despise

Lord! Why did I make this grave mistake?
Why was it this kid whose life I had to take?
Why did I take a life when I cannot give?
Do I have anymore right to live?

I cried tears of guilt and pain
And gave the grieving mother my gun
I told her relieve me of my misery
Kill me before I kill again

The mother said with a sad smile on her face
You have sinned and punishment you must face
But killing you would only set you free
And I will be the culprit to your family

You will suffer everyday of your life
You will bleed lots more than my little child
You will burn in the self hating fire of hell
You will die everyday and live to tell

That day on I’ve cried a million tears
Hating myself for all these years
There’s nothing I can do to escape this hell
I feel I am falling into an endless well

God! I cannot ask for forgiveness please
I cannot ask for salvation
All I ask for is to set me free
From this dreary life full of misery


Details | Free verse | |

Passing The Lonely Night

(Lyric Contest Entry)


I pretended to be sleeping, ....  through long hours of the night
I could hear your quiet breathing, .... in the early morning light
Empty words we never said,  just the rustle of the bed
I pretended to be sleeping, and hushed my silent weeping
Knowing you were close, beside me,...pretending something, too

Our nights come dark and lonely, 
Nights cold as two hearts grieving
Exhausted love, that cannot sleep
A worn out love that we can't keep
A love that's running out of breath
Is brushing death too soon...

I pretended to be sleeping, but could hear our two hearts beating....
I lie awake with anxious waiting...just to hear your footsteps leaving
A branch against the window glass, is scratching to come in
As if to pry,........the words, "goodbye",..........still waiting to begin....
A love that's running out of air...is breathless in the wind

I pretended to be sleeping, I hear the small clock ticking
The hour hand has swung around, a new day lost before it's found
It has gone too far to turn around
A love that's running out of breath
Is coming to an end.....

I pretended to be sleeping
But, I can't ignore the sunrise
The day arrives, without disguise
I must face it now, and ask it why?
You turn your back, as if to hide
Pretending something too....



__________________


Details | Free verse | |

Dance in the Rain

There you go again crying in the rain.
You pour your heart out and your tears
fall like raindrops from heaven.
You turn away from this world and
contented yourself with isolation.

The rain became your refuge,
your only friend.

If only you have looked back.

I was there crying with you in the rain,
the sole witness of the tears you have shed.
The one who's dying to reach you within
those walls you have built around you.

There I go again running in the rain.
For this heart constantly cries and goes to
the past that was us,
And memories became my only friend in isolation.

The rain hid my tears,
And I pretended to enjoy the droplets hitting my face.

If only you have reached for my hand.

I was just there patiently waiting,
For you to see, to feel
that I'm crying for us.

But then,
the rain may have been too loud,
for you to hear the sound of my tears
falling in the ground.


Details | Free verse | |

YOU NOW BELONG TO HEAVEN

I was waiting for you
With an open arms
Your arrivals was such a happiness
That I was longing for
You left this world
Before you even seen it
This was the deepest sorrow
I ever had
It really tear me apart
I had so many dreams for you
That just gone with the wind
Without achieving anything
The bible says...
...never ask the Lord why
But, everything that happens
Happen for a reason
I never get the chance 
To tell you that I Love you
Neither to hold in my arms
I never had the chance
To prove to you 
That I am your protector
Your role model
A shoulder for you to cry on
Someone that you can rely on
I was so happy to receive 
A new born in our family
But the day that I welcome you
Was that same day that I say...
...goodbye, farewell to you forever
You now belong to heaven
May your soul rest in peace
You will always be love and missed sadly
May the Good Lord
Bless and keep you always



I wrote this poem for my little sister who died during birth.



Details | Free verse | |

Morning After

~ I open the door to search for the source But there's no sound of it now... Weeping that used to creep over the stairs, climbing trellis and vines Climbing onto the porch roof, and into my room A looming invisible smoke, that would choke me with grief, Like a thief in the night, engulfing the room where I stand ~ Sounds of weeping could be heard with a far, but familiar dread that sped through the night, remaining a bit out of reach but dying at the foot of my bed ~ It would come like a child, crying in the dark calling my name, lamenting the cost of a light that was lost a voice losing sight in the shadow of grief that fades in the soft morning dawn ~ I stand in the door, and realize, of course the voice of the wind is my own ~
____________________________________________________


Details | Free verse | |

Husband, Im listening

I sat there listening to your words, 
as you told me
Told me, you felt my pain and cried 
my tears
Telling me you missed me, each and 
every night
While I cry, my sad sounds
Pouring my heart, releasing my 
roots
Listening and believing your words

Until, shadows start coming out the 
dark
Truth, shines upon my rose bush
Telling me, your not telling the truth
Thunder, keeps hitting my eardrums 
Trying to show me, you

I sat there listening to your words, 
as you told me
Told me, you felt my pain and cried 
my tears
Telling me you missed me, each and 
every night
While I cry, my sad sounds
Pouring my heart, releasing my 
roots
Listening and believing your words

I opened, my soul and listened
I relax my body, and took all the 
signs
Realizing, I'm hurt at the end and 
destroyed 
I'm home, suffering from this pain 
of love
While, your out having a good time
I'm home losing weight
While , your out eating at buffets
I'm home, not committing adultery
While, your out sinning under our 
skies
Creating more and more lies
Not realizing, shadows do come out
They come out the dark

I sat there listening to your words, 
as you told me
Told me, you felt my pain and cried 
my tears
Telling me you missed me, each and 
every night
While I cry, my sad sounds
Pouring my heart, releasing my 
roots
Listening and believing your words

I sent you money and cater, from 
afar
Understood, you are my husband
Under God, I shall obey
Obey , his laws
But , who's laws, do I obey
When all this sin, is in my skin
Ripping me apart
Far apart, from the one, I love

I sat there listening to his words, as 
he told me
Told me, he felt my pain and cried 
my tears
Telling me, he missed me, each and 
every night
While I cry, my sad sounds
Pouring my heart, releasing my 
roots
Listening and believing his words

Now!
What to do, my mind is so confuse
Confuse on walking away or staying
I guess, it's not up to you
Now , that I know the truth
The truth about listening, to your 
words


Details | Free verse | |

Enta Eih

What are you (how cruel are you) isn’t it enough,
That you hurt me? Have pity. How cruel are you?
Why my love, is it so easy for you to bring me to tears,
And why do I accept that you hurt me when my soul is part of you,
And why am I accepting this torment at your hands?
If this is love, my misery is from it,
And if I am to blame, I cannot say never again,
And if it is my lot to live in torment,
I shall live in torment,
Have you no pity? Have you no shame that you cheat me knowing the love I have for you,
Is it not a shame, the passion and the years and longing that I am living for you?
Was the love lost completely? Or has it been a game,
Was the love and tenderness and my heart and faith in you all lost?
If this is love, my misery is from it,
And if I am to blame, I cannot say never again,
And if it is my lot to live in torment,
I shall live in torment…


Details | Free verse | |

PASSERS BY MY HEART

WELCOME TO MY WINDOW, STRANGER
IT SEEMS "LA VIE EN ROSE" FROM THE OUTSIDE
FRESHNESS OF THE BLOOM OF PLASTIC
WITH DOUBLE BARS INPRISONED IS MY HEART

A GATE TO FREEDOM OR A MIRAGE OF DESERT ?
DILUSSION OR ILLUSION ?..I BURN FROM INSIDE OUT
I SENSE MY MOUTH SCREAM ROARING ECHOES
YOU WALK BY ME ...I? ...ENCAGED IN SOUNDPROOF FATE...



poem accompanied by inspiring photo on my Facebook page


Details | Free verse | |

The Old Blue Chair

The big, old chair
smelled of dust and food and sweat.
Full of peanut shells, dog hair and
spider webs, I set it out on the curb with a 
FREE sign on it.

Tim, who took his own life last year,
bought it during one of his
visits to my little town. 
He needed a chair he could
sleep in.  He was no longer able to sleep 
laying down.

Tim's VISITING chair
came from the local
store that has a perpetual SALE sign
painted on their window
in giant, orange, gaudy script. 
Overpriced, low-end
furniture, but free delivery.

I wrestled the chair from the living
room and drug it to the curb
in the rain. 
It was gone in three days when
the person made sure 
no one was watching
and took it away, 
soaking wet,
to its new home.

Tim and the chair
had things in common.  
Both were too large 
and
both grew 
too uncomfortable
after a time.


Details | Free verse | |

2-45 in the morning

2-45 in the morning,
Wide awake and needing sleep.
Waiting on the concourse,
For a flight to anywhere.

2-45 in the morning,
My life in an old backpack.
No one here to say goodbye,
Ain't never coming back.

2-45 in the morning,
Got a ride out to Brazil.
Don't leave 'til dawns first light,
Got a few hours to kill.

2-45 in the morning,
Din't mean to hit that guy.
He didn't say a word to me,
Just looked me in the eye.

2-45 in the morning,
Got to cool my temper down.
Trouble found me out again,
I think it's my middle name.

2-45 in the morning,
No time to wait for the plane.
If the law find me in here,
It's back to prison again.

2-45 in the morning,
The streets are dark and cold.
I'm forty years old tomorrow,
But I'm feeling really old.

2-45 in the morning,
Those guys look mean up ahead,
They look like the've found trouble,
When you read this I'll be dead.

© Dave Timperley 2012


Details | Free verse | |

There's Not Much More to Say

Now night hangs heavy
over me.

And meanwhile,
I am alone.
Lost in the past.

Why do I stare at you, in my mind,
with your dark eyes living velvet
in which I lose myself?
My fate's contained in yours.

Let us be extremely frank
and speak the truth about ourselves --
share our anxieties together --
discuss between us what sort
we can't be any longer,what sort
we now desire to be.

Fallen out of love with self-conceit
we shall not regret the loss.


Details | Free verse | |

secrets

she was barely two
she got to stay home
from church
with uncle d.

they played cards
he made her laugh as
she sat on his knee

he said this is a secret
between you and me
grandma would get
mad at us

then on a stormy 
winter night he took
her to his bed
and he hurt her

he said this is our
secret grandma
must never know
or she will send
you away 

she remembered
those three steps
down to his bedroom
when she was forty

he was in his grave
and the secret was
kept, grandma
never knew.


Details | Free verse | |

Empty Shoes

Always trying
on others’ shoes
and carrying guilt
for those who have none,
shoes nor guilt,

my empty shoes
are waiting
and you never
try them on.  

©Kathryn McL. Collins


Details | Free verse | |

The Strength of the Silver Spoon

All I could do was done,
I gave attention to your ways
and treasured your promises in my heart.
With loud cries and tears,
I battled your Silver Spoon
and recited words of love from my lips,
so I seeked justification from with-in.
I meditated,
while you were with your Sliver Spoon,
with the Silver Spoon in your left hand 
and a lighter in your right hand,.
a bubbling concoction
lays on your Silver Spoon,
it seems to call you
and you can't hear me,
but I can hear myself.
A thought uncloaks before me,
in the warm sunrise,
there is no wisdom,
no insight,
no amount of love
and no plan that can succeed
against the Silver Spoon.


Details | Free verse | |

Child Abused

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Free verse | |

Look at me

Look at ME!
I hold your gaze for untold amounts of time,
When others try to talk with you,
I’m so important,
That sometimes you won’t even look away from me,
When you see me, I am a window into the world,
A message from afar, limitless information,
I mesmerize you with my brightness and color,
Other things arent as important to you,
Other things need your affection,
But this bond we have is so strong, I have your attention most the time,
The world goes on around you but you hardly even notice,
Because to notice would reveal an absence 
An absence of romance, adventure and life,
I feel so special, if only I could feel,
I can tell you love me, but I can not love you back, for
I am, your smart phone, cell phone, I pad and computer,
look at me, look at me, look at me.


Details | Free verse | |

Winds Of Change

So the leaves are falling now, and in color, are turning
While young hearts, from summer, still burning
Running through life, love's wings, oh how they're earning
They are growing, and life's lessons, they're learning

And so now a new day is dawning
Where things won't be the same
For in my heart, passion's spawning
Here come the Winds of Change...

Now something new awaits us
Just across the summer horizon
Taking over now, just fate's lust
Oh how the Winds are Changin'...

Loving more and more each and every day
Where hearts are running free, and never slowing
Will this feeling, just for awhile stay?
The Winds of Change are blowing...

Now the Winds of Change are storming
From across the sparkling western sea
New outlooks on life and love, they're forming
In a couple years, where will love be?

But what is it now that I'm feeling?
It's something pretty strange
My world is shaking now, and reeling
Thanks to the Winds of Change


Details | Free verse | |

Familiar stranger

The more I look at you
The less I see

The more you say
The less I know

Attentively ignoring you
Missing what I used to see

Frozen emotions flow free
Erasing what used to be

A familiar stranger
That is what you have become to me


Details | Free verse | |

On the other side

On the other side I fly above you,
I can feel your smell 
when you lie to the world.

And you go away just like a wind
and you smile like you have never met me.

So, can you feel that I fly above you,
I do not think so.
You do not care about me 
even I exist on the other side.

On the other side 
I finally see who you are,
I finally see your wishes
which I have never been able to realize.


Details | Free verse | |

Portrait of Joe and Wanda

Written: March 8, 2012
Updated: August 15, 2012
Note: Sequel to An Evening at the Home

3:00 a.m. - There was a full moon, and all was well.

Restless, uneasy snoring in various pitches was the only music of the night.

Starched white uniforms did not dare wrinkle as the nurses moved from room to room.

Only the softest of tip-toeing was allowed.

Shoes did not dare make a sound against the cold floor. 

Breath was held as long as it took to not disrupt the unexpected calmness.

No one knew that Joe and Wanda had "run off to Las Vegas" to get married. 

Joe and Wanda knew that they had to "run off to Las Vegas" to get married.

They "ran" as far as the solarium.

Asleep, they each snored together restlessly.

5:00 a.m., Joe and Wanda received the sad news that they were not married.

5:05 a.m., they received the sad news that they were not in Las Vegas.

5:10 a.m. they were escorted back to their separate rooms.

5:15 a.m., they each snored separately.

7:00 a.m., they each woke up not remembering their own names.

8:00 a.m., Joe remembered his own name.

10:00 a.m., Wanda remembered hers.

10:30 a.m., Joe remembered Wanda's name.

Never again - Wanda remembered Joe's name.

Gail's note: To protect the privacy of those who have lived before us, the names have been fictionalized, and the events semi-fictionalized.

Part of the Portrait Poetry Collection


Details | Free verse | |

Restless Memories

Restless memories, faded yesterdays --

On my darkened wall a light appears,
grows bright, passes into darkness.
Outside:  the sound of ill-tuned engines.
A street lamp shines through my window --
the curtains really should be drawn.

In a hot July we sweltered
under the nearly unbearable weight of words,
polysyllabic, pretentious -- under
a regimen that ordered what seemed
only a half-waking existence.
In those sweaty, dark-baked cells
we bickered.  We preened.  We posed.
And we glanced, surreptitiously,
each at the others, while outside
bloomed the warm, sweet, magnolias.
The sap of youth ran thick and piquant.
And finally, it ended,
yet never ended.

Cars still go by, outside,
the engines louder, even raucous,
rudely mocking. The hour is late.
The lights, reflected on the walls,
brighten, dim, disappear.

The curtain really should be drawn.


Details | Free verse | |

For Savione

I knew you, not so long ago
When you were just a little boy 
Always there for your baby sister
I felt then that you carried a burden
And regret that I could not reach you
At ten years old, I didn’t get you to "speak" it

I will always remember you, Savione
The warm smile you hid; seldom showed
Lived just behind those sad, brown eyes
You had moved far away Cali with Mom
And your Dad, I’m sure you missed

Whatever made you sad, I’d never know
But soon, we also moved away
We heard how you’d grown into a young man
Still taking care of your sister; 
Still with those sad brown eyes

Glad you made many friends along the way
Losing touch for those few years, haunts me
I’ll never know why you took your life…
Maybe I should have kept in touch with Mom
Should have mentioned, how you looked so sad

I’ll never know why you took your life….
At twenty three, what darkness took you to the edge?
Was there no one to whom you could turn?
Did I miss a chance to share the burden with you?
So sad is the day you went away 

I’ll never know why you took your life…. 
~*~
For Savione...sleep in peace, little one. +


Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He has
          become his past

                 which time has replayed
                                                     to his surprise
                                                                               
 as a comedy of errors...
                                             filled with sadness
                                   irony
                        and
           mirth


Details | Free verse | |

SELF-LOATHING

Step after step I move forward.
Into the abyss, 	
Into the pit
Black, thick, silent,
The pool is filled
 Yet the tar is so bleak and empty.
Fully submerged there is nothing, 
Nothing but me
Nothing to smell hear or see
So I focus on me
My weaknesses
My faults
My mistakes
I feel all the pain as the air leaves my lungs
As the pressure of all that I’ve done bears down upon my chest and back.
Bones bend and muscles contract.
That last bit of air
 Right before sweet eternal sleep
 Escapes into the darkness
And for that moment the pain stops and the pressure fades…
I am cold.
I am lost.
Floating back to the top…
I inhale 
And life is restored…until next time.