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Free Verse Lost Poems | Free Verse Poems About Lost

These Free Verse Lost poems are examples of Free Verse poems about Lost. These are the best examples of Free Verse Lost poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

Nightmares and Razor Blades

I stare at my ceiling,
I start to wonder, why am I not healing?
Then it dawns on me,
The nightmare clip starts to roll.
I shake and shiver and wince at every little thing.
I'm scared to death, 
What does this all mean?
I start to cry,
I feel as if I might die.
Then I grab my blade, 
The tears come quicker.
My breath starts to quicken,
My grip on the blade makes my knuckles turn white.
In the mirror is where I see that my ivory skin is now blotchy and red.
I tell myself, "This may be the last time, if you finally cut deep enough."
So I try my best not to make a sound 
As I sit up in bed and hold my wrist out in front of me. 
I count to three,
One, 
I put the blade to my wrist.
Two,
I start to add pressure.
Three,
I yank the blade across my skin,
It pierces and then I start to bleed.
I suddenly want it to stop, 
But there's no going back now. 
I wonder why it came to this,
I know nobody cares about me,
I know nobody is going to forget me.
Quietly I say, "I'm sorry."
But nobody is there,
No one will ever be.
I start to fade out of this world,
My addiction would finally be gone,
And so would I.
I was lost, 
Lost and angry. 
Suddenly, it was gone,
I woke up screaming.
The pain was oh-so real.


Details | Free verse | |

Soul mates solace

When my final shadows cling on desperately
Where I fight formidable battles
to merely hold the light
I send you loving vibrations
and soul sustenance
Deep from the cathedral
of one heart to another
where today no choirs sing
nor symphonies play
Yet it is here where we meet
in spiritual solace
here to surrender 
and exchange inestimable treasures
recollecting memories 
like unopened letters
Galaxies are stretched
over chronicles of shared history
Nebula birthing stars
will be exposed
in forth-coming conversations
bringing short-lived fulfillment to you
Hungry to feast
now will be the time
to approve your blood art vision
and with my own haunting surrender
as dappled shades ink stain your chest
I will reside with you and share, mesmerised 
pens - by branding
as this will be your written reams to me
your artist's pallet or brushed canvas
no need for words
and yet creating
mysterious magical moments
Bitter-sweet the music
that dances taut guitar strings
but now blood approved
please go kick your heel up
return to your laughter
and ride on the breeze
for not all are lost
change not
for I am with you always
to love, listen and comfort as one
with you in me and I in you
as masterpiece


Details | Free verse | |

Sunlight and Rain: The Prism of an Anarchist

These are the confessions of an Anarchist,

when I

stepped away from the light,
entered the shadows
of forbidden caverns,
the caves, tunnels 
and catacombs of anarchy.

Here        a constant, cold caress
of moisture,
a persistent inner rain
trickling,
pooling alongside lonely thoughts.

Nothing would grow that deep underground,
not even fungus, nor lichen.
I survived on sheer will and dampness,
lungs mutated into gills,
eyes became accustomed
to this ever-present night.

A Mission lost in translation and transmission,
a rogue satellite orbiting
through thin air's mind-bending space,
cut-off from other agents of Anarchy.
I slithered along corridors of broken souls,
fed on regurgitated thoughts
and drowned dreams of cities burning down,
melting like hot candle wax.
How I wanted the cities above to burn!
To burn down into the ground
in waves of rolling thunder and lightning.

Not able to differentiate between night and day,
weeks gave birth to months
in a C-section of fleeting years.

Somehow        I stumbled upon a side entrance,
felt warmth pushing in,
pushing down,
and my will shattered apart,
fusing back together into Plan B.

Sunlight!

As I broke the surface,
light seared my tightly shut eyes,
breaching eyelids with ease.
The pain felt wonderful,
changing into a delirious exultation
and heated comfort,
thawing out frozen, stiff bones.

Rays of sunlight rippled across my skin,
evaporating the slimy, cavernous musk,
burning me on the outside,
cleansing me from the inside.
Eventually        I was able to keep my sore eyes open
while they felt ready to sizzle and explode from sensory overload,
globules floating through my vision.

The first thing I clearly saw  
was not close up        magnified,
but the distant horizon enveloped in a halo
of lemon haze, arching between two mountain peaks.
I wept,
skin buzzing from the sun's heat.

Yes, 
how sunlight changes the perspective of nightmares,
revealing reality's potential fibers,
balancing the darkness within,
bending the remaining droplets of lost hope
into a prismatic ribbon of brilliance and prayer,
always,

        always evading the deep-rooted catacombs below,
a place I will choose to forego,
only entering within memories,
until even these are burned away by sunlight,
until even these are cleansed by sunlight.





2013 Double-Rainbow Remix
December 18th/19th, 2013
(originally written April 12, 2011)




+/-


Details | Free verse | |

Motherland's Funeral

In the past, my country
cradled me within her womb,
but our roles reversed.
I held her in my arms,
felt her slip away.

I lost my country today.
Gave her up to synthetic medicine,
deficit spending, 
and pie-charts overseas.

They wrenched her from my arms,
took her from my loving arms
to poke, to prod and draw blood.
I prayed while watching attempts made
at her resuscitation,
as greedy hands held out pens,
prodding me to fill in the proper forms.

The world is on lithium,
the drug has defiled the last drop of clean water.
My country was on lithium,
for her, the vibrant colours turned into dull grays,
and in the end, her heart gave way 
from having spent too many decades 
trapped within a gilded cage.

She had an organ donor card -
her organs were sold off one-by-one
while she still clung onto life.
Her organs were removed,
replaced with waving flags
and roaring stadiums.

Men from every standing, race and creed,
groped Motherland's body
after causing her to bleed.
Many men had laid with her. 
Oh, how they did.
At least some men showed decency,
graced her with meaningful caresses.
But they were far and few between -
between the rape, miscarriages and spoils.

Lithium is being slipped into my drink,
into my food, into the very air I breathe,
so daily I purge,
horrified by my country's overdose.
She looks decrepit, splayed out in the morgue,
a cardboard ticket hanging from a big toe
like an empty, whorish price tag.

I will have to give her a proper burial in my mind,
for they are going to have Mother embalmed,
encase her in a glass coffin,
and put her on display.

Our Mother passed away,
yet the land is here to stay.
I will walk across clear-cut ridges,
pass through neon-lit distractions
as a gypsy vagabond.
From now on, the territorial lines
mean nothing more to me than rules to follow.
The shell of this country remains, 
Nationalism has turned empty-hollow.

I lost my country today.
Gave her up to synthetic medicine,
deficit spending, 
and pie-charts overseas.

I lost my country today,
held her in my arms,
watched her slip away,
felt her slip away.





April 30th, 2012


Details | Free verse | |

When I Close my Eyes

When I close my eyes I see your face
Shining beautiful like summer's grace
I see sweetness in the curve of your smile
Which lingers in my mind for a while
Yet in your eyes I see a lonely dove
Who yearns for man's honest love
Majority of your years you've had so much strife
Yet you still deserve a man in your life
So break the bonds and mould the pain
For there is still much more to gain


Details | Free verse | |

FEVER PITCH

FEVER  PITCH

Demons of faith,
God speed,
Ageless tears,
 
A dweller lost in the perfect Odyssey.
Bricks of memories, barricade my way out.
Growing gray within the ageless centuries.
Steady rivers, at the pitch of one response.
Times out, by the heat, and beauty.
Tragedy is never a fear to announce.

The drug that takes to cure, the world,
~ lost in a torn humanity.
Harmless, results and tears
~ struck in every way, in the same day.

Sneaky thoughts up my sleeve. 
I will leave, the envious of me, this you best believe,
There is no way in...
YET!!
I found the perfect way out...
Destroying demons,
That get in my way..

Waking up in a dusty road.
Unleashing every load.
Today's a different day, still I wake up the same way.
But, today life is reversed.
I find myself with an endless thirst.
Tossing me into a 700 degree level,
I shine away from the path of the dust devil.
Swirling all around, forbidden to enter my bound.
Your pitch at me,
a fever I want no more.
Now I can see, the emptiness of the things inside of me.
Now I can feel, my soul reaching out to heal.

Breaking every cold sweat, 
Shivers, pneumonia a life of regrets.
Withdrawals left behind.
Symptoms, showing the fever is gone.

God Speed*
Into my life*

 by;p.d.


Details | Free verse | |

Her brittle hands

Another layer of lavender scented lotion
Rubbed in vehement laughter

A quelling of sadness
Covered up in mascara insanity
Livid strokes of feathered paintbrushes

Hoping to see the big picture

She cried like oil paintings without a purpose.

A treasure hunter searching for rubbery remedies
Without heart’s sanctified atrium
To light the way

She bled from carnivorous pores
Bites against feeding palms
Struggling licks upon pacifier wounds

Mouth
Shut

Stone’s lonely lyric
Thrown against fragile lighthouses
Beaming through unacceptable horizons

Investigation of deity’s hidden agenda,
She questions validation’s esophagus

Its vocal chords
Torn

Another squeeze from lavender bottle
Empty
Its exhales shedding infantile whisper

…

A bounced reality check
Declaring that it wasn’t a disease
That afflicted her bones

©Drake J. Eszes


Details | Free verse | |

Evolution of a Soul

A soul unites with a vessel. With no preconceived notion of what lies ahead.
A soul, upon arrival is molded by senses, by experiences, by emotions.
A soul is innately adept at navigating the treacherous and tumultuous upheaval 
created by conscious thought.

For if not.........
A soul becomes lost

A lost soul acts within a vessel ,yet remains unattached, unaware, and unbalanced
A lost soul can not process its own feelings, its own reality, its own existence
A lost soul has no sense of direction, no sense of reason, no sense of purpose 
It clings only to the will to press onward

For if not............
A soul becomes trapped

A trapped soul is bound to its vessel. One entity caged within another.
A trapped soul dwells in circles on that which enslaves it. Unwilling, unable
A trapped soul withers, and weakens, and wonders.............and near its end it hopes
And in this hope the shackles that bind need be unbreakable

For if not..................
A soul becomes free

A free soul is independent of its vessel.Unrestricted, unencumbered and in control
A free soul molds that which lies before it, reaching beyond comprehension.
A free soul has found itself. It does not gain understanding, it is understanding. It 
does not seek purpose, it is purpose. I does not fear life, It is life.

For if not...........
A soul becomes irrelevant


Details | Free verse | |

The touch of me

Feel me,an emotion deep inside your heart,a wild white simple daisy,
reincarnated in a soft crimson rose,a scarlet heart of velvet petals,
birthed in embroided silk of mystique passion.A bacchus of wine
filled with perfumed aroma,filled with fragrant thoughts of you.
Feel me,as I come in your night,a soft gentle wind,through your window,
caressing your face,kissing your cheeks,breezin you in sweet dreams,
to a forest,by the lake,there we lie down,on a mattress of golden leaves.
Feel me,as we go for this  ride on the open wings of love and fantasies.
Feel me close to you,as  Iget lost in you and you get lost in me,
as you taste the nectar of  my cherry red lips,as we kiss,a moist wet kiss.
Feel me, in the fresh liquid raindrops,cleansing your worries and troubles away,
as I pat your back,as we talk,as I listen and understand,as we walk, and giggle
in the park,on a wooden bench,under yesterday's fireflies'lanternes. 
Feel me as we lie on the sand,gazing in each other's warm eyes,
cheered by the tamed silver waves,watching a universe of of stars,
hugging under the ebony black sky.Feel me,as I dip my brush in finest oils,
and paint a path of colored rainbows,a path where we can find each others arms.
a path where we can dream,where we can live and love,where we will never
be apart again.Feel me a candle burning in never ending flames of passion,
a lady,so deeply in love with you.Can you feel me?Can you  Feel the touch of me?


Details | Free verse | |

Another Angel by my side.

Soft and tender a precious gift you were
never a day I missed to kiss your 
dimpled cheeks , or hold your litlle hands
flowers, little buds that held a promise
of a gentle touch or warm embrace.
I know your face your crooked smile  even your feeble cry
I knew you  love of my life
but did not know your were here only  for a time.
You  knew me too I could see it in your eyes 
sparkling gems that flashed when you saw my face.
Now you've gone  to a place far away, to your home in the sky 
from whence you came and stayed a little while.
Another angel I have now, this one I know so well
I'll always remember your smile, and dimpled cheeks
your busy hands and little feet.
My guardian angel you've come to be 
one I was blessed to meet... to know.. to embrace ....to love...
 now I know you came not to stay only to make my acquintance and I yours
My  heart is sad for I miss you so my infant  child
wish you  had stayed  awhile. 
How I cried when you left and though my tears have now dried
I will always miss you though you stay by my side.
You are my special Angel the one I know best
the one I have held, loved and known, better than  all the rest.

Just to let readers know. I have not lost a child. I simply wrote this poem for all 
who may have lost  such a precious one.


Details | Free verse | |

In Sheol

Lover
Yes the love you evoke
The heart you wove
Spirit you broke

Shadow am I
Go to the Witch of Endor

In Sheol
my soul
yes my love
darkness unfolds

In Sheol
one weepeth dust
wind blows cold

Feeling is lost
struggle to breathe
seas are tossed

Was I dead my lover?
yes I believe so
the shroud my cover

You arose from death
shined love on me
I am resurrected 
was blind now I see...


Details | Free verse | |

Vertigo

I'm falling, falling
falling so far
so deep
so fast
so reckless
Yes I'm falling, falling
God help me I'm falling
Why am I falling
so crazy
so madly
so helplessly
in love with you...


Details | Free verse | |

Time -part 1-

Tragedy is never a sentiment for Time For it is a phenomenon she merely sees She pours forth abundance for all that behold her Even for those of us that scold her And for naught she was cursed from the beginning There she is—interminable Time at the fullest! And we all envy her ever-ringing constancy She rules over our hearts Keeping stress in our spirits Not once does she feel sorry for us Nor is she indifferent of our failures She begs not for gratefulness And accepts who she is with joy! How ample we would be if we Like she—were free of trepidation If only we be like her waters—clear and visible from top to bottom Filled with untainted approval What fools we must seem to such a pure jewel as Time But ah, she is both heartless and kind And though we hate her peculiar aura Oh how hard it is do tear her from our minds! How stressfully beautiful Time is! Like a wink of venerated bliss She smiles and smiles And our ironical faces feel like grime Still she laughs in mirth While the world becomes a ball of putrid hatred Wanting more and more of her And positively hating her We that cannot see her began to hate For we are as visible and low as can be And we acknowledge her merely to insult her Though she takes no pang to the chest For the only gifts we give in return for herself are pangs That she simply returns to each sender Hidden is our pride But ever placed Ever unhidden Is our inscrutable mortality And this humiliation of our unchangeable fates Makes us want to humiliate the more fortunate Thus we regard her only as a concept As a fraction of a belief—a bellowing ideal For of course Time cannot in our honey-glazed eyes Think, eat, drink or feel We use her—yes! Even abuse her Not once will she complain For her gift is everlastingness


Details | Free verse | |

MIRAGE

MIRAGE


My heart,
Believing in the reality of your love, 
Followed you into passions’ burning
Desert,
In search of the promised oasis of our
Dreams
Where happiness, you said, so easily could
Blossom

BUT

A mirage your love turned out to be 
Thus
Under the sizzling sun of disillusion was
I left,
Sacred oaths taking,
Not to listen anymore  
To heart’s fraudulent 
Whispers!  


© Demetrios Trifiatis
     24 MAY 2013


Details | Free verse | |

The Day That Died Forever

When I am Colder,Older and then alone...
I will collect the sky on my own...
When the art has faded and the days then fade-
when everyone has gone away...

I may finally see what never was saw
.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh............... the quiet sky

The unlit room which bares my end...shows the flashes of my pains my joys and sins.
This life has been a strange one since the curtains were drawn
These paper and plastic figures have clouded the dawn

I was once younger,foolish,and obsessed with truth
Now I am bitter,sour,dour faced with my heart under shoe

The children were all searching or lost in a crowd
All weeds in a garden...growing vile and foul

Though beauty was sold it never came true
Obsessions and vanity have traveled safe through

Materials and poison and everything lost
have been burned in the fires or lost in the frost

I stand face to mirror tearing my being apart
Winding thoughts of love,pain,god,and art

As the sun sets and the darkness grows
I too shall follow this pattern in tow

Death has a friendly hand and a pretty face
She has given me comfort as I leave this place

The wars have occurred,humanity's lost
Souls have been burnt in the fire or lost in the frost

Day was Life,Night is Death

And the latter has given counsel on my final steps


Details | Free verse | |

I Wish It Could Be

This emptiness within surrounds the insides Penetrating my sorrows, I see the light A light so faded and sad…as if it knows my lamentation This light dies to be seen, yet it is surrounded by shadows The light has not a voice, nor eyes to cry Yet it weeps in the strangest of times If only that light could travel up and onto my tongue Springing forth in articulate passion and delight To all that happen to behold its philosophic brilliance But it cannot speak to you It cannot cry to you… It cannot tell you that I am… So deeply in love with everything you are Your talents, your pursuits…I cherish I hold your dreams in my heart Not merely wishing for them all to come true But willing to sacrifice all for your fulfillment It melts at every smile Every squeak of laughter Each hesitant touch I wish it could be… How strange this light has made me! So dim inside, yet shaking with infuriated quaking It longs to take over my every being And make sweet music with you Trilling in its soft embraces To fulfill you is to leave me writhing in containment Yet your happiness weaves into the pain And the light remains…yet it never rains This light thrives to love you…shivering but alive It sighs in silence, comforted by fruitless words The light is afraid and cold For the vessel it resides in centers all warmth on you


Details | Free verse | |

Exit 7b

1.
they say everything here is
somewhere in the middle of the road
where names get bleached and keys forget about their doors
and there is something we should dig our coated nails into; 
the layers of regret and anger
that our mothers tell us to peel off 

2.
but the sun bakes us too hard and rancid
laying down on styrofoam mattresses
where someone pokes their thumbs through the plastic
watching nothing but empty bubbles reflecting
and life is faded, glossy pages of a magazine
with a worn bar stool with cigarette burns thrown in between

3.
and we all carry this restless, tormented beauty 
that gets up and leaves
as soon as they say
it will settle down 


© Gry W Christensen


Details | Free verse | |

Darkness Wraps My Pain

Darkness Wraps My Pain


I was born to this flesh 
A slayer in pain 
No regret, no remorse 
Gold and pleasure my gain 
I never wanted love 
Nor did I want joy 
I found death a trip 
Where I once was open
Now I hide in darkness 
A slayer of souls
Seeker of agony on all
Ageless shadows grace
My tomb within hell's
Ripping dungeons that
Eat the screams of
Torn bodies and cut
Out hearts scattered on 
The blood soaked floors
I was born a slayer 
A slayer that delights
In agony wrapped in anguish
his, hers , yours
give me a choice I
chose all.....

Robert Lindley
05, 23 1980

note: This is from long ago.
A very dark time in my life.
Must have been wasted because
no ryhme.. lol


Details | Free verse | |

Blind's Sight

On my way to cine
A beggar blind happened,
Striking into his kinky bowl
A sparkling coin I tossed
His hands untidy felt, I felt,
Value of coin, glistening
His face , outcasting the dust
Thanks for the bread master..
His lips moved for...
Since then, I yearn for
Eyes with his sight...

Emm*
Copyright :15/08/2014


Details | Free verse | |

Questions

Who is more righteous,
The pious man who watches in awe,
Or the faithless man saving those in the blaze?

Who is stronger,
The man who lifts a ton with one arm,
Or the mother of four on her own?

Who has lost more,
The man who has lost his money,
Or the man who has lost his love?

Who is weaker,
The man who can't fight back,
Or the man who won't fight for him?

Who Is more savage,
The man who doesn't know right from wrong,
Or the man who doesn't care?

Who is wiser,
The man who has the answers,
Or the man who asks the questions?


Details | Free verse | |

The Students into Terrorism

The students live in Peshawar
Which is city of flowers
University of terrorism.

The students don't know what is the religion
They don't understand about Jehad 
Actually they have no interest on these...

They love cricket, football, hockey, athletics, cartoon, movie
They read literature, science, history, geography, mathematics
They respect humanism with their god gifted smile
They write poetry about nature...

Unfortunately they are killed by some rented learned killers
The students were not enemy of the killers...

Both are victims by naked politics  
They become two faces of the world.

Believe me dear children
I am crying...
The soul of India is crying...
The Almighty is crying...

We are powerless in the world like you
We have only tears for you...

SANDIP GOSWAMI, INDIA


Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Free verse | |

Take me away but I promise to sing a Song

NOTE: I have placed this Poem as a Video Poem also on
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/profile.php?id=100001219732381

[ This Poem is dedicated to Freedom of Expression  
and Tibetan Dharma Guru Shri Dalai Lama to support
his struggle for the cause of Freedom of Expression ]


Take me away but I promise to sing a Song


Take me away from such a place, 
Where feelings and emotions, 
cannot be freely expressed. 

Where new thoughts and ideas are crushed,
By the rod of power and corrupts.

Where mind do not get the opportunity to reveal,
its vast sea of beauty and varying colors.

Where love never flies freely in the sky,
while touching the unexplored lofty heights, and
wings of Poetry are nipped in the buds, 
before they bloom and spread their smiles.

Where wind do not flow,
while touching the flowers and buds,
Where the butterflies do not have the freedom,
to show their varying moods and colors.

Where faiths have lost their grandeurs and glow, and
shrines are converted into suffocating barracks.
 
Where love has lost its magic of moving a heart, 
to sing a song and dance on the call of its soul,
Where a vast sea of humans live,
without the freedom of expression.

Take me away from such a land and place,
Where people live in chains under iron curtains.

I promise I will come back to this land one day,
when the breeze will flow freely touching every heart,

When its people will have the freedom to fly on their wings,
I promise I will come back,  to such a place one day,

When animals too would move without fear in their hearts, and
birds would be free to fly anywhere in the sky.

When the morning dew would greet the new rising Sun,
By glittering without fear, its silver and golden beams,
When flowers and buds would freely spread, 
their alluring wings and fragrance in the air.

When the human mind would be free to explore and express, 
its ideas and colors on the canvas of paper.

I promise I will come to such a land one day,  
to Sing the song of joy and mirth.

Ravindra
Kanpur India 27th Aug. 2011

 


Details | Free verse | |

Moments In Time

The sweetest sounds of burning trees
A gentle stroking in the breeze
The calm has lasted past the storm
Cloudy visions, Satan’s roar
Too many sights have passed my way
A time found only in the haze
The softest screams are running bare
My aching bones creak as I stare

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark

The battle’s started at the end
No one is coming to repent
The sinners grab their wine from prey
No judgment calling here to stay
The sport is reckless to be told
The one is laughing at his souls
It falters nowhere to be sure
The power grows forevermore
Like a spirit in the wind
I have no say in where you’ve been 
But cross the line to come to me
And pay the price for ecstasy

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark. 


Details | Free verse | |

Private Conversation

Father it’s me again. It’s been too long between talks
Days, years: restless lost wasted years
Choices made based on greed, pride, arrogance and misbegotten dreams
It’s difficult at best to understand how You can still love me
The blessings continued throughout it all
I had Kristofferson on the stereo asking Why Me Lord
Now I know I just want to come home
One more shot at doing it right, conscience not materialistic ideals
Finding peace within myself, empathy for those who cannot.
The journey was a bit different than I imagined
Detours, lost highways, dead ends. Many roads. Wrong ones
More light at the end of the dirt roads
Than the ones paved in gold
Harder to reach your destination 
But the accommodations were better in the end
One more thing I meant to say and never did
Thank You Father for the hard times
Thank You for the trials that helped strengthen me
At the time, I didn’t understand
Now I see. Tears can cleanse the soul 
Only when they are real.


Details | Free verse | |

Crying over spilled Women

His bleeding heart
Was flustered from that torn parchment
In their leeching chapter

Pushed aside
As if “friendship” was aggression’s bull
Running through crowded cemeteries
Under quartered, sapphire moon

He sipped pitied shots of century-old whiskey
With a dusty glass of pomegranate w(h)ine

“Why isn’t she coming back to me?”
“My heart will make empty declarations until her return!”

As he childishly latches onto recycled yesterdays
Praying for God to give him
White picket gate’s access code

Writing lavish, debt-ridden sonatas,
In whiplashed curiosity,
On why she chose to forget him

Unbeknownst to decrepit author
That he
Could simply
Return the favor

©Drake J. Eszes


Details | Free verse | |

Sea of forgotten dreams

Cold and dark, the eyes of the depths
glaring at the stars above.
Few dare descend the steps
which reach down to oblivion’s cove.
Heavy, the desire for truth,
like the chains dragging my body further down
unto fate unknown.

Beyond recompense, lies the ruin
sunken to forbidden ground,
now home only to the strangest of creations
and catacomb to the drowned slaves of history.
Will all memories be as this one day?
Ghosts that haunt the corpses of humanity’s ambition?

Black are the bells that once chimed to announce omen.
Buried are the thoughts that walked my mind.
Broken are the tables where ideas once feasted.
Bound are the hopes, eaten by preying sharks of doubt.

Weighing down, the garments choke the breath of life.
There, where insanity was sane, beneath facade’s streams
lies truth, in the sea of forgotten dreams.


Details | Free verse | |

MAKING SOUP

Always cold in the morning, this kitchen is warmed now
With a roaring fire and my wife working beside me making just desserts
We stand here two hours this afternoon doing one of our projects
Cooking soup and fish for this evening’s xmas party of friends. 

The ghetto, the Projects, contained me with the music of 
The school’s leather belt and cane.  And then 
Parents lost in a fire. 
              That was a tough xmas, alcohol boozy flavored in an
              Empty-bottle kitchen, crowded and smoky.
It was a tough meat just cut today red blooded, now pale in the friends’ 
Xmas gift, the tureen shiny clean. The soup’s              
Alcohol flavored in effort to disguise taste of the firm onion, now soft slop. Next, must
Empty bottle of sauce in …add spice…Oh, now chop more veg: and the 
Kitchen knife peels and reveals their secret inner fleshes,
Crowded and jostling with juicy tomatoes, now reduced to wrinkled skins; and
Smoky, tall, erect celery now chopped into mini-sets of false teeth

Innocence lost in the poisonous smog of Dublin’s
Orphanage hymns and anthems: God and the state will help
Uniformed religious staff and teachers to tell me 
I do not belong - I must reveal no secrets about being
Woken, shaken out of bed, taken (with no word spoken) from the 
               Cold dormitory, scaly hand on my knee:
               Drown in this grasp -  fish out of water
Cold.  A small shivering fish caught in net, taken now from its fridge 
Dormitory for this sacrifice: staring, unfeeling, cold-blooded creature, its
Scaly skin shining on my cutting plate.
Hand on knee, I sit down to gut it, gills first - which made him
Drown as he struggled in the tightened net; and 
In this grasp I cut the fish open - an old  
Fish which was still feeling
Out of water. It seems a silly, scaled creature now, lifeless, staring at nothing.

I lost my loneliness from that hostile world:
She gave me peace and serenity  -
Warm feelings of belonging ; and it’s
Christmas every day. 
                 She is sweet, inviting, colorful, and around her
                 Melt-in-the-mouth music plays.
She is the essence of sugar,
Sweet free-running chocolate,
Inviting me to dissolve all of her creamy meringue shells 
Colorful and delightful, which will swirl
Around her taste  and 
Melt like love on a summer’s day.
In the mouth of my hell, she has uttered  
Music, and forever now,  it
Plays sweetly.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

Written for and entered in Debbie Guzzi’s  Contest     GET SERIOUS


Details | Free verse | |

Moon bridge

The moon so bold seems cold
with a halo of midnight glow
I sit mesmerized as the night grows old.

I bleed still, even after all these years
and I wait again through the night
aching in the depths of my soul
that no other seems to know
the Loneliness that has become my companion.

In the darkness we wait and confide in the other
our deepest fears as memories fade
in and out each season of change
            the nostalgia tempers the wars of pain
this tempestuous foe of ours
         wails at the gates of midnight
howling the warble of humanities last grace.

How the comfort of minds and hearts
turn from light to deep dark in the face 
of eternities long time clock...

I ache with wanting, with need and passion
          it is a lie that time heals and wounds scar
each night is fresh like the first
                              when I faced realities shock.

Who can wait with me?
Who can hold this hound at bay?
Who can cherish what little love left in me
             and make the broken whole?


I ache to be loved again as the love that burns
and waits inside of me. 
Who can comfort this emptiness and fill the void
                that so many leavings have left?

Cherish and love to honor and protect
             but who can slay these demons that hold my heart in wrath?
Who will walk the sulfur clouds of hell to save my mind
     and deliver my world to the gates of heaven
      with life, not death bridging the distance of pain?

I sit and wait at the floor of the moon each night
waiting for that bridge to carry me yonder,
      this moon who hangs heavy and ripe with the yearning of my soul
with clouds aglow as if I could sweep them across a canvas
   with the brush held in your hand

I rage at her as I wait, but still I wait and weep
as Loneliness and I keep each others company
wishing the clouds of that great moon could truly create
a way to find the lost, a pathway to home, lit by the legacy our love.


Details | Free verse | |

Reality's Angel

I am Reality’s angel resting on the broad shoulders of discovery the truth feeds darkness and engulfs its target ideas and concepts in turn become meaningless to you there is a creator of all things He is just and patient many still have fallen into the masses of shadow wrapped in their own filthy idols of philosophy I have seen grown men fall like rose petals and weaklings rise into unjust leaders forever the follower of furtive evil dominating only to remain inferior the most important answers lie in the unseen regions where no sense can fully give assurance the mind that so many unreasonably twist and turn grows weary because of the distance it must take and truth be told the distance is not what frustrates it is knowing we are seeking something far that could very possibly not exist, that our minds can twist into theoretical, idealistic nonsense it is knowing all we really think we know is meaningless and yes—even a lie all that has been written thus far rests under my wings under the warmth in which you refuse to feel can you believe in me— though I am completely unseen? how much more difficult would it be to see Him?


Details | Free verse | |

-- after having written 500,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,002 poems

Eye understand the purging processsSsss,
the simplicity of catharsis -
heated caterwauls wailing in alleys
with porch lights shot through by moths of powdered blame, regret

and guilt. Continuously, I read the poems of others:

"Poor me! Poor, poor pathetic me,
my heart is going to wither away!
Because of YOU! Because of YOU!
I hate you now,
you spineless whore.
Why did you leave me shattered
upon the harsh surface of broken dreams?"

"Slam! Slam! Slam! I have a big gun, you'd better run!"

Japanese Whispers - "Lost in a forest           -           all alone."

"All together now, let's sing Kambojah."
__

Oh, I feel the pain, feel the nightmares
unfolding in the minds of others,
a clairvoyant, empathetic twister I am;
I don't wear a tin-foil helmet.

and the dreams, the beautiful dreams of light

The words fill me,
vowels and consonants bridge murkiness
with an astounding clarity.
Windows
into
even
the
most
simple moments touch me deeply.

Of smothered hope
rekindled hope
sunken coffins
bats and belfrys
rainbows arcing                --               introspection flowing across the nostalgia of 
porch-swings, dripping peaches, the scent of a newborn baby, the existentialism 
of bee-headed bishops, forbidden touches, slippery, secretive pantings.

After having written 500,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,002 poems,
I became tired of writing for/about myself in a certain way.
I lost my way,
desiring the vain-glory of spotlights,
far too entrenched in devices,
and the: I-am-so-cool-I-am-too-cool-to-be-warm-crowd.
Curdlings of avant-garde souring my morning coffee,
the hollow musings of lost souls reaching out of sugar-cubes,
reaching for something more
than their silly, inane routines of simply surviving. Simply surviving.
I understand.

I read poems
as gifts for my soul.
But for me, it isn't quite as easy to reciprocate,
for I am a rhombohedral, hexagonal ____________.

It was only after being able to reach deep inside myself,
pulling out a purity of intention,
to finally, finally write poems for another           -        as gifts
with no expectations or strings attached,
that I was able to give back,
to fully express how deeply the words have touched me all along....


Details | Free verse | |

Hounds from Hell

Hounds from Hell take their toll on your soul
as you walk the mainstreet of mainstream
and watch Saturn and Neptune dance to a simple tone
of silence in the outer space.
As you sit in the middle of the world
alone;
free yourself from the sense of hopelessness,
only see yourself in the mirror of deception
as your reflection laughs at you and looks right through you,
and doesn't have remorse for what it says or does to you.

Hounds from Hell take your soul,
chock you, cut of your air,
the smog and fog blind you in the city of ash.
Hear the hounds from hell howl for your soul,
go now, barracade your soul behind sins and temptation,
Alone, listening to your soul die away,
watch love go away from you, with suitcase in hand,
picture frames broken and collect dust through the sands of time.
Till the cleaning lady comes on Monday, to clean the mess
that you left behind.
You are gone, without a trace of ever returning.
Looks of the Hounds of Hell came for you and stole you from
comfort and warmth,
till the sorrowed heart cracks and pain spills out
and you look at it all spill out over the floor.
The Hounds from Hell have paid a consumable harmage to you,
and your rich soul of sorrowness burns away... slowly.

Fear darkens souls,
innocent souls burn with a new day,
a slumber that has no end
with nightmares haunting every light of hope
there is left in this desolate Wasteland.
Fear and darkness tears a hole in the darkened universe
and we all go to hell to see the Hounds,
who come for us all.
The graveyards fill,
and death guards the tombstones of the dead,
and the flowers burn away on the feet of the dead.

-10/14/2013-


Details | Free verse | |

The Wasteland -Part 1-

How can one express the baffling depths of obscurity? How can one behold to open the shafts of the mind? I have never been able to solve the mystery— Of myself. . . I wish at times that my life was no more That I could live as another and finally see things right But I am always stuck in this darkness And I cannot see this mind in light There are beasts. . .demons prowling through the wasteland Searching for any remaining life And if they are ever found— They are doomed and consumed Fear is their downfall and they never fail to smell it Their ashes remain, dancing with the imaginary breeze It is silent here—there are no answers I wish there were answers. . . But maybe there was never a reason No answers. . . Talons extend and clench around my heart They will never seek me out—they left me here It is like they knew…I had no reason—that was the answer I feel the pulse of my dangling life Alone in the dark, whimpering like a child I have scared myself, becoming this dragon-daggered youth No balm in Gilead! No eyes to see All I know will never be free I don’t need anyone! You are a disgrace—scum of the waste! You have everything, you ungrateful little nothing You are a joke. . . So swallow it all up like the pushover you are Stand your lowest and trudge right through No questions. No answers. Just . You. Or just lie back down into the mush of disease It has already infected you to the core Accept who you are, you ugly pestilence! I hate you Who are you to be glorified? Dream snatcher. . .murderer of all things bright Saturated in what you call light I see right through—even as the reflections shatter All of the dead kept you alive—they all matter… But alive you are the worst there is False savior—edited attention whore I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I hide. . . Desperation. . .desperation. . . I sob and cry kneeling in defeat For once I am right. . .I am right


Details | Free verse | |

'Peace when needed'


You know how we sometimes analyze too much and forget to feel? It’s okay to feel - whether it be confusion pain sadness anger or you just want to cry - even the strong ones like us get lost we don't always say what we really need, we hide behind the go between and supporter to everyone.. So tonight if you're lost know that in your silence you can still liaise with your Maker... He sees beyond what we ever imagined most importantly He gives us the peace and guidance we sometimes seek in others...
©180720121420


Details | Free verse | |

Betrayal

Betrayal is a bouquet 
of rainbow flames - blinding petals
bound by vines that choke.
A game of light and shadow,
delusions dancing to distract
across bruised walls. 
Truth looms in creases -
in darkest corners, unseen,
while naivety stacks like kindling:
inverted pyramids of innocence
that teeter precariously, igniting.
And the same spark that drew
the moth to the flame
now brands with pain.
Realization stamped with liquid wax, 
sealing the facts,
stripping denial like chipped paint.
Still, you sprinkle gasoline lies,
licking the lungs, filling them up
with sweet-nothing smoke. 
But in this ring of fire, 
it's too late. I must wait
for the crescent of coal to cool -
Then I cannot fool
myself anymore.


Details | Free verse | |

Alone

Alone am I and don't want to be, I pray for someone to come and rescue me. I 
wander along this lonely path and think of those that I've lost in the past.

I seek for someone to walk with me, I look and entreat, for my soul is in despair. 
Once I had a mate so fair and refined, she walked with me and soothed my mind, 
but now she is gone.  My world has become calamity. Now I wander this lonely path, 
across mountains and through the pass. In desert places my soul does thirst for an 
oasis to drink from on this lonely earth.

I despise the day and rue the night, when dreams come in and stress my plight. The 
sun does scorch me, the cold sends shivers down my spine. No one to shade me, no 
one to hold me, nothing to make the cold to flee.

My heart is weary and my mind whispers, your name is solo and will always be. My 
shadow mocks me as I go, a reminder of long ago, when there were other shadows 
not just mine alone. I've become a mad man, I curse the day and wail at night. 
Perhaps some day I'll find sweet rest, join the ones I lost in the past and solo no 
longer my name will be.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Hang your head, and mourn
the lost smile of elation,
Happiness shattered asunder,
While melancholy tears, stain
the frame of a tarnished silhouette,
And speak words of wisdom, that
pain the ears and restrain laughter
by the chains of harrowing truth,

Demeaning a demeanor, with
structured news of elated nuptials,
Which force the ambivalence of love
and lost wishes, that belong to
a memory, which fades with time
 but can never be forgotten,
Leading to a flaw in poetic justice,
that pushes a mind to delusion

But to return from a dismal and
desolate place, with even an inkling
of untainted hope, there alone lies my 
whisper of salvation, And while my 
pen freely bleeds, with phrases of my 
most tender reminiscence, I can 
only assume, that faith 
is purposeful...

Thus by a dangerous choice, to
trust my memories to save me,
before they eradicate my being, I
find a breath of grace in writing of
you, and knowing you through my
words, and all your beauty throws
to them, and by this plea, hope to
know you, if only another moment,
With the mere faith, that
rediscovering you, will mercifully,
help me find myself...


Details | Free verse | |

The Secret Whisper

Whisper to me little one
as the waves break on the shore
and brings the mysteries of the deep
with her haunting memories fore

Whisper to me little one
as the wind changes her pace
Her howling scream then silent still
keeps tortured cries encased

Whisper to me little one
of all lost grains of sand
ever seeking their way home
but scattered by human hands

Whisper to me little one
as the sun intensifies her heat
yet cannot melt with all her warmth
the coldness of defeat

Whisper to me little one
and do not feel aghast
Be not conspirator with this world
nor keeper of the past

Whisper to me little one
and share with me your fears
the secrets of your sufferings
the hidden controlled tears

Whisper to me little one
for unlike the wind and sea
I'll offer arms of comfort
and the words to set you free

Whisper to me little one
for each grain of sand is mine
thought lost none can destroy you
who was held by the Divine

Now hold on to me little one
as buried nightmares rise
and with distinctive form and shape
is revealed before your eyes

But as you look my little one
forget not that I say
"You're stronger, well learnt, and my love,
will ever guide the righteous way"...


Details | Free verse | |

Romeo and Juliet (Our Story)Pt 2

Years and years have been lost to time, thousands of days,
 nights, and morrows seen and despised out of immense ache,
The Juliet of my early youth is no more, transformed into a
stranger, yet my love dies not! Though I plead and beg for
her to recall and rekindle the love affair of many moments ago,
She bears news of her plans of wedded bliss to another, news that
I curse my eyes for seeing, ears for hearing, and heart for knowing
is true! With desolate heart and soul, corrupted mind, and disregard
of future as that of a mad man, I fall to my knees and scream,
"God and heaven alike, I defy and deny you both! For no
father of mine would rip asunder my motivation for humanity!
Nor does any paradise remain alive without her presence!"

Be it his decree that I hurt for eternity both alive and deceased
then be it my decree that his life and love never was!
Thus I have become what I am, with no rue nor shame,
For I am not the tender Romeo that once lived and breathed,
No more do I dwell in her heart or mind, and no more do I wish
any essence of a Romeo dwell inside my soul, for my Juliet
is buried and lost in abundances of new days. No day, nor night,
nor morrow is good for me, Sans trust, Sans faith, Sans morality,
Sans love do I wish to have or hold, Dead but still breathing I am,

Condemned to memories and dreams of  elated yesteryears, 
denying my own will, but loyal to that promise which cannot
be broken by even the cold lifelessness of heartache, I shriek,
and yawp, and yell, and raise my voice beyond the sting of pain, as
I wake each night, bleeding the same sound from my lips,
"Juliet!, Juliet!!, Juliet!!!" Repeated until my eyes are dry and
my voice is drained to the most silent of whispers, I force out,
over tears, over ache, over agony, over all, in one last breath,
"Juliet"


Details | Free verse | |

Flowers die,Pictures fade

I wrote this in memory of my uncle.


Flowers die and pictures fade,attempting
to erase every memory ever made.

Letters are lost while the clouds roll in,
letting the rain pour and the sadness begin.

Feelings are lost and people pass on,showing
us we're the one's who have to be strong.

GOD gives us strength to keep our head held high,
not letting the wonders of the world pass by.

Love everyday and you will see,miracles
happen when you believe.

Nothing can stop you from living your life,
even when the pain cuts like a knife.

Some family we've lost and some still remain,
leaving only love and happiness to be gained.

Some memories fade while the best never die,
leaving you with feelings of wanting to laugh and cry.

People make the biggest impact without even trying,
then everything changes when they are dying.

Ton's of faces get lost in the crowd,
to your surprise certain one's stand out.

GOD gives you love and never leaves you alone,
providing a loving family along with a good home.

Life will bear obstacles and put you to the test,
but you have to be strong and always try your best.

Never back down from any hardship thrown your way,
it will make you stronger until your last day.

Say what you feel in your heart and never back down, even
when your taking your last breath take one last look around.

Angels are singing a song only you can hear,
complete the last part with an open heart,
and absolutely no fear.



                                         Flowers will die and pictures will fade,
                                   but your memory is one that will always stay.


                                       In Loving Memory of my Uncle
                                             You will be missed dearly.

                                                   MAY 28th 2012


Details | Free verse | |

Surprising Kindness

I came upon an old man,
A homeless, wretched soul.
He looked so sad and helpless,
In his hands, he held a bowl.
He was propped against the building,
So, his weakness would not show.
He saw the world through glasses,
With hair as white as snow.

I heard my father whisper,
As my eyes filled with tears,
“One need much more than money,
One needs his loved ones near.”
My father loved his family,
Does this old one feel the same?
With my father’s soul beside me
I asked the old one’s name.

His name, he said with feeling,
Was lost with all he owned.
A thief assumed his identity,
Then, all he had was blown.
His wife died in December,
The vulture, then closed in,
Pounced while he was grieving,
Then, his life changed again.

I gathered the frail body to me,
Spoke kindly, acknowledged his need,
A home and a heart full of loving,
My family would plant the seeds.
Love is the first to be planted,
Followed by trust in their care.
My father’s spirit surrounds us,
His example taught us to share.

The old one lost all his pallor,
With love and trust he gained
More than he ever hoped for,
Another family, who gave him a name.
Grandpa, we decided to dub him
As we fought for all he had lost.
As he won the last legal battle,
His life was the price that it cost.

The old one wanted cremation.
My mother did not and she prayed.
Next thing we knew came a lawyer,
And the Last Will and Testament played.
My mother, for once, became speechless,
And I drew in no better air.
Grandpa was there in the picture,
Leaving us undisputed heirs.


Details | Free verse | |

Light

(I discovered the poem below in a drawer I was clearing out - it is certainly mine, but I have 
no idea when, or why, I wrote it; I have not changed a word of it, but left it as it is)

Don't wait for me
Where the black moment stoops towards the day
I'll be fine, you'll see.
The night is kind, the sweetness of 
The breeze, the still greater darkness of all things unseen.
Who needs the morning
The crack of dawn
The break of day
The fast fall of footsteps on shocked concrete
The shrill call of blackbirds
As the bottles topple like skittles, but into place.
No, the night is kind,
Where the serpents stalk in slithers
And unhinged mothers go in
search of their lost children;
Where tree-branches scratch against windows
Without drawing blood.
Where ravens-in-waiting cluster
Around the thought of death.
What need have I for 
The last cold grip of
Your lost hand, lost to him,
Against the wrenching light of day?

I loved you once;
Go now, somewhere else another waits.
It is the lesser pain.


Details | Free verse | |

The Human Race called Mankind

The third millennium of what?
Man is lame
clearly lost the will to walk,
he’s blind
no longer able to reason.
His fingers cast hope
upon the keyboard,
his mind creates
trends upon the screen,
he inflicts pain, a global sadomasochist
he sees others in his historical
image!
He plants his seed
most upon stony ground,
he offers peace
a twisted excuse
to deliver his belief,
he’s losing God!
He thinks he’s superior, 
he’s lost the ability of simplicity,
whilst delving in ideology
akin to profit.

Harry Horsman for Michael J Falotico contest
What brought you to poetry.


Details | Free verse | |

Autumn

When sunlit days
become lost in shade,
and all that was verdant
becomes windswept jade,
withering leaves become
gold and brown, summer’s reign 
at last,has lost her crown!

© Harry J Horsman   2012


Details | Free verse | |

The Loose Connection

So much is lost in time.
Words are taken  in the wrong meaning.
Soon te bridge is but a scar of memory.

Sweet moments but a fargone reflection none of which
I choose to recall.
the laughter stale as the beer in this smoke filled room.

Music heals but stabs us deep.
Cents for the pain.
Numbers the tune.

Her body is there but not for anyone to
truley know.
the backward thougts with forward visions.

The emptyness my home hollow in the aftreglow.
My return is long overdue and  to soon  my exit.
A thief of emotion that exist only within my pen.


Has it been lost all over agian?


Details | Free verse | |

Oh Your Beauty

Attractive girls portraits (23) Your beauty extends Into the heaven Whispering secrets of Happiness and affection. You look up at me and smile With crinkles in the Corners of your eyes. The smooth beauty of bare skin, Soft stroke of hair like feathers. I'm lost in the smell of Your hair & skin, Your eyes pierce my soul. Gaze upon me With those eyes again, I'm longing to be lost In your embraces. You are exquisite fire, A smooth burn of wild beauty. Your curly, long, light-burgundy hair frames An exquisite blend of exotic beauty. Your touch sends me over the edge, A longing which no verses can describe.


Details | Free verse | |

Fading Away To Nothing

I feel like I am fading away to nothing,
blending into an ordinary crowd,
where no one even notices me anymore.
Like an April snowflake, freely falling, landing on warm cement.
And, fading away with a short existence.

Or, an August raindrop in a passing storm,
dripping onto dry, weathered porch steps,
soaking into the wood grain, absorbing the very life of me.
Eventually leaving nothing behind.

Or like autumn leaves,
that once shined like gold in an October sunset,
now slowly withering and drifting to the ground
only to be raked aside,
or blown away to who knows where.

I feel like I am fading away to nothing.
A reflection in a mirror, that I can no longer recognize.
I don't want to be forgotten, especially to myself.
Like a lost spirit that no one can see, or even knows exists.
I'm dying out like the last spark of a flickering candle.
And evaporating into thin air like melting wax.

Like a piece of colored paper left in the sun's rays,
losing it's original brilliance, day by day,
the longer it is left there,
like no one cares about it anymore.
Or more like a bright helium balloon that escaped 
from a crying child's hand
drifting away and out of my reach, gone with the wind
And, disappearing into the clouds forever.
Fading away to nothing.


Details | Free verse | |

The distance of silence


The falling leaves danced
With the randomness of time
And flow of restless souls,
Moving on. Passing-by.
Grayer shades clothed
The dying accent of the setting sun
And in an hour,
You will be gone.

Those sobbing rehearsals
With the rain,
Are but futile train
Of affirmations spoken
Behind the mirror.
I stammered, as the words
Tried to come out;
Although the wind knows
What to shout.
And while you silently crept
In the corridor,
Love went out the back door.

So this time:
Let silence be my words
And tears do the conversation.
For everything here bear your trace.
Your whispered voice,
Grows louder in the emptier space
You left behind.
And in every crowded place
I know, I will always
Find your face.
That even numbness
Can not overcome the pain
Of which, I am to blame.

As I grip your loss
In the recesses of my mind,
I  will weep.
For I can't stand
the thought of missing you!
Even though,
You were never mine.
Because, I haven't
Tried.

©Dean Maloloyon


Details | Free verse | |

Being Lonely Feeling Lonely

Sometimes the loneliest times 
are when I am not alone,
and a stream of conversation invades my ears.

Sometimes the loneliest times
are when I'm with you
and you see my empty gaze stare into you.

Sometimes I want to be lost in the world
Sometimes I choose to disappear.

Sometimes the loneliest times
are when I am alone
and my thoughts force me into darkness.

Sometimes I wish that you could be me,
Sometimes I want you to see what I see.

Sometimes the loneliest times
are when my brain stops
and thought becomes the hardest thing

in the world.


Details | Free verse | |

CAPTCHA's Cruelty

HELP

The CAPTCHA took me by surprise tonight
Letters became ghouls in my mind’s eye
I listed them—
Noted them; words...begging, crying out for me

STAY

CAPTCHA was merely mocked
By millions of viewers on keyboards
I imagined all—
Tears began to fall

LOST

How may I help you, CAPTCHA?
Are you merely what they say?
Is there more—
Tell me, I pray

AAND

You bewilder my senses with your emptiness
The computer became my way to you
But all I could do—
Was imitate

CRYY 

I began to imagine someone stuck in CAPTCHA
A place where they harbored the weak
They took what they pleased—
Allowed them to speak

NNOW

Today it was happening and evermore
There was a reason I came to know
And now—
I want to know more

FOLL

I swallowed air and typed in the words
Feeling worthless and absurd
I began to believe—
There was more to this irrational dream

XOW3

The screen went black and then I was sure
I couldn’t doubt it anymore
The CAPTCHA wanted me—
The letters suddenly blurred and unseen

CAPTCHA
CAPTCHA
Let them go
CAPTCHA 
CAPTCHA
Full of woe
CAPTCHA
CAPTCHA
Take me now
CAPTCHA 
CAPTCHA
Tell me how to
CAPTCHA
CAPTCHA
Set them free
CAPTCHA
CAPTCHA
Knowing is free

Knowing is free

MMEE

For years I have copied your codes
Knowing you are there
Me—it’s me
Crying in the dark pit of despair

AAND

Though empty your words are to me
They are all I hear
All I fear—
In four letters on this electric trap

XXBX

What am I to do?
To follow would weary my soul
To save—
Would take its toll

FREE

What is this foreign word my dear?
Oh, how can you cut and paste it in my mind so clear?
Free—and then? 
Close your eyes and count to ten

The victims of the CAPTCHA remain a mystery to us all
Yet still we stare at the codes and merely imitate them
We are zombies staring our lives away
Trapped in CAPTCHA’s claws
Sad, deprived. . .
CAPTURED

I speak your language to stop this cruelty:

THEE 2TRUE TH78 IS9X BEF4 HOUR VERY EYES

Though we choose not to see
We choose not to fight
We choose only to IMITATE
We merely copy and paste

CRYY
CRYY
CRYY

GOOD
BAYE
BAYE
BAYE 







Details | Free verse | |

KALEIDOSCOPE

                                              KALEIDOSCOPE


Say unto wisdom, thou art my sister and call understanding thy kinswoman.  Proverbs 7:4


Wisdom flew out the window as the clock struck 
sixteen minutes after midnight on an October night in 1973 
It soared away on feathered wings of blackbirds cawing of death 
carrying the message to streets and by-ways of childhood 
The entrance to the avenue of innocence    barricaded by birds 
weaving an impenetrable barrier of lost dreams and half-grown shadows 

Understanding slid into creases in rumpled bed sheets 
and was lost when my sister flew home to Heaven  
Shrouded by a fog of sleep    I dropped my kaleidoscope 
shattered childhood’s innocent hues    cracked prisms of dreams 

She was the older sister    She took wisdom with her when she left 
leaving me with years of making wrong choices 
She held understanding of my fears    hopes    dreams
She alone knew my desire to be a nun and knew I wasn’t Catholic 
We were saved together    baptized together      
I morphed my dream of entering a nunnery into zeal 
for ministering to people in far-away lands 

Instead    I spent too many years chasing chips of colored glass 
that held fragments of an innocent    lost    love
My dreams drowned as I swam through seas of alcohol 
Youthful shadows lost forever in a haze of pot smoke 
I tried to build a kaleidoscope with shards of glass 
but the prisms were lost inside my LSD induced nightmares

My age    not my memory    tells me I was a teenager once     
Years of lost moments and wrong paths taken 
where I only circled back    endlessly    on myself

Time tumbles along like prisms of glass in a kaleidoscope
The cha-chinking of colored moments ever changing
I spun like a top on my pivotal moment    lost sight of my destiny
Yet    somehow    I meandered through the maze 
picking offshoots of wisdom    compassion    understanding
tucking them like little wild daisies into my hair 
I found the words to speak of what I learned
in this language of poetry that travels to far-away lands




Details | Free verse | |

Life's Theatre

Our theatre's curtains slowly fall
and gone behind them 
the loveliness and all that beauty 
we’d always known to be
too fine for such as we. 
They were only ever ours to wonder at,
to touch, to taste and savour,
briefly.
Where they were is once again,
all that which is our own.
Reality.


Details | Free verse | |

Silenced

you turned our  shared world upside down
without explaining in more or only few words
changing closeness into the opposite of nigh 

hidden in your dyslexic stronghold
you missed  the shame I overcame 
ignoring my myriad attempts for another try

behind your translucent glass-brick wall
you're suddenly earsplitting deaf
ceaselessly refusing to explain  why

a living nightmare slowly muted
the opposite of a love song dies down
embedded in tears I still cry

sorry seems to be the hardest word
not for me to say sincere and heartfelt to you
but for you to understand by losing also your third eye 

behind thousands  of hugest question marks
the presence of your absence displays
a killing-field of friendship where people partially die

© Elly Wouterse



Details | Free verse | |

Saved My Life

I went back into that dark, dark place 
Were demons dwell 
And 
Lives are taken away
But
Through the pain 
And 
Through the tears 
You were there and kept me near. 
You saved my life by loving me; 
Your silent strength was the key. 
Gentle touches and silent words 
Let me know that love was the cure. 
Depression is my evil curse, 
And 
When it planted the seed of death
Your love washed it away 
And
Gave me the strength
To seek the help I needed to keep it at bay. 
I’ve walked that dark path so many times 
I’ve done lost track, 
But 
Things have change 
And God’s given me a special tool 
To help me through, 
I have you and Joshua too, 
And 
Rooted deeper is the knowledge 
Both of you want me to stay a little longer. 
So like a drug addict that has lost their way
I start the road back to brighter days,
And
There are not enough words to say
I Love You 
In every way 
And 
May God bless us ever day.


Details | Free verse | |

Ocean Waves

Ocean Waves Like the waves of the ocean that come in so strong, that's the way you came into my life, with such force that in your arms, your kisses and your love I got lost. The force of the waves seperated us one day and we couldn't get back together again. I never knew the places you had been to, or what kind of lovers you had loved. Maybe You went to different places in a world I never knew. Maybe the lovers you had betryed you. I don't know, or could it be that you didn't understand them. I was not from your world and I couldn't understand you. I still watch the ocean waves , but not with you...
10/18/2013 Written by Lucilla M. Carrillo


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Trombones

Dark and lonely
A cave in my soul
Dripping with emotion
A tidal flood
Encrypted in my heart
An arrow through a lark
Broken trombones
And old sousaphones
Honk into the night
I'm a rain dog that bites
I am a rattle snake 
That wants to fight
There’s no love here
There never has been
You ask me for my hand
It’s a shaker and a tam
No thank you ma’am
I'll take my chances 
On snake eyes
And remove the scales
That tie
So don’t come looking
For sunlight
It’s damp and dreary here
For a heart that is closed
This is no place for you dear


Details | Free verse | |

Real Estate

Fingerprints on frozen windows
Night of wonder
Avenue of lost souls
She waits..maybe his shadow will play 
the "game of shapes" on walls of skyscrapers
The street is as naked as her heart
She knows she's not so good looking on the outside
but what a rhapsody of soul...
even the marine layer cries with joy on balconies of roses.
I hold her tears in my little, pink  jewelry box
I lost the key to wind up the spring of the little ballerina inside
I go and visit the place with windows
but there are no more fingerprints..
The place was sold...


Details | Free verse | |

Untwisted

Sometimes the memories won’t fade 
         All the places we have seen
         All the prices we have paid 
The memories of the happy as well as the sad 
            The people we’ve lost
           The friends that we had 
Some memories just seem like a ghost 
I always lost everyone that I loved the most 
The wind would just carry them away 
             Along with my tears 
            And my ability to pray
    I wonder how far is heaven from here?
              How many more heartaches 
                 How many more tears 
              I wonder how far it is away
Because I have so many things that I wish to say 
To all the people that I loved and I lost 
             I’m not even tripping 
             My heart paid the cost 
The reaper rode the river in a bikers disguise 
I’ll never forget the fear in my mother’s eyes 
    As he drug her under and then let her go 
Through my four year old veins hate started to grow 
My eyes were blind my ears were deaf 
After that I forgot  
           There was anything left  
Karma is like poker for it is bound to luck 
When I was just a boy 
God through me under the truck 
Of all the things in life we feel 
   We are all bound to God’s will 
Passion is a doorway between love and hate 
    God is the dealer in the game of fate 
              Our place is not to question why 
                       For if we do our faith will die 
            The deeper we hate the deeper we love 
            I was gifted wisdom by the Lord above 
                    Every gift comes at a price 
A world of experience behind my advice 
     Every smile holds a lifetime of pain 
Nothing that happens should happen in vein 
                         It is our choice that which we do 
 Know in your heart these words are true 
The harder we fall the further we climb 
             No ones life is totally sublime 
Illusion after illusion will be offered to you 
                 But only the living word is true 
The living word that beats in your heart 
Will keep you safe as the world falls apart 
Through the pain of a boy watching his mother die 
It’s never to late to kiss the sky
A man of faith who could never give up 
Please come break my bread and share in my cup 
By the time our journey is through 
                      I’ll share all I am with you 
          Hopefully somewhere in my words you’ll see 
              ---Untwisted is truly the way to be---



Details | Free verse | |

BROKEN HEART

funny no matter how much you love someone it's never enough

you can change your ways or meet them half way

you can comprimise and desquise how you feel for love

in the end nothing is ever enough 

they say that true love exists but true love is what hurts you the most

finding yourself comes through pain and hurt

no exceptions in the laws of love just broken rules

sometimes when we try to hard we loose focus on what really matters 

the time we invest in to falling in love cannot be accounted for 

we cannot get it back or get recognition for it it's lost forever

total eclipse of the heart as the song says total emotional breakdown

some people live for love some people love for life

some people never live because they are lost in love

we can search for the rainbow or wish upon on a star

in the end nothing matters it's over for real

in that moment we loose reality on what could destroy us

we say with conviction that we will never fall in love again

until we become blind by what we can't see

the circle of life revolves around us endlessly

for we are just mere pawns being played by the facts of life


Details | Free verse | |

Body Of Curiosity

Loneliness surrounds us
Sounds of water droplets
This mint burst of breath
Lingering within my clothes
We talk of tongue
Discovering hands
Lying with bare skin
Leg on leg
Pulling of sheets
Tugging of hair
Hands locked backwards
This feeling of pleasure
As you slide in deeper
Body of curiosity
Our hearts meet
Over and over again
Pleasurable motion
Charming touches
Feelings of want
You slide in deeper
Whispers heard
From around the room
Desperate moans tune
Louder we sing
Deeper it seems
Hearts beating faster
Body of curiosity
Temperature increase
Pulling of sheets
Tugging of hair
I feel your mind wander 
Within me
Sweet calls of names
Between us lies your mind
In and out it seems 
Between us
Connected just right
Groaning of the night
Feelings of want
Our bodies quiver
Legs spread at each corner
Crawling fingers discover
Your mind wanders inside me
Touching my heart deeply
Connected together
Body of curiosity


Details | Free verse | |

Tick Tock

To all of us
Who have lost someone
To all of us who have lost something
A void, emptiness
A feeling of the no more
And nevermore
To those of us
Who never got a chance
To say I love you
Or I’m sorry
Or I care
To those of us who thought
There would be a tomorrow
Or a next time
To those of us who wish for yesterday
To relay the feelings of today
I say this to you
Do not wait for tomorrow
For what can be said today
Do let pride steal your chance
Do not dream of what you want
Do not wait for anything
To confess what you want to say
Tick Tock
It’s a race against the clock
Time is nothing but a fuse that burns
Convey your thoughts to those you love
For otherwise an empty heart yearns
Empty and unsaid
Thoughts of love
Fall silent upon the ears of the dead
Think about it !

Eric (and sometimes not)


Details | Free verse | |

The Beauty Of Austria Shattered

I remember the dream of Austria
As the war for me was finally closing 
High in my turret upon the Sherman
I entered this mountain paradise at last
Until I reached the earthly gates of hell

Within those eyes I found despair
That spark of life long dead
Their hearts filled of solitudes poison
Muted voices no longer calling out
Thousands of souls starving for hope
Existing amongst corpses who had lost it
Now just shadows of the once proud
Crushed by tyranny simply because they “were”

Empty men drifting about lost in a miring haze
Praying for the peace only death grants
So very few seemed to hold onto humanity
They had nothing to fear because all was lost
As I stood at the hells gates called Mauthausen

In that moment I found the truest of evils
Under the threshold of Hades a toxoid of hatred
Not truly comprehending what my eyes spoke
Numbed in fears I never knew subsisted within me
Standing frozen I wanted nothing more than to run
As the shell of that crying man fell in my arms
I am haunted by his words…”godheid bedanken”
My faith transfused giving him a moments hope

Within those high peaks of the songs of paradise
I lost my soul at the gates of a concentration camp
Every night since I hear his voice thanking God
He called us the wrath and thunder of reckoning
But…I was just a boy with rifle searching for a respite


Details | Free verse | |

Rebirth



Twenty five years of grave digging finally unearthed a new birth;
Emergence into a sacred world where the secret wisdom of simplicity 
Prevailed.

The connection was made, the gift giving;
Spiritual fire burned above his head.

He spoke in tongues of angels, wrote a revelation in 
Divine script to be read by the mourners and widows.

Eulogies long overdue, delivered
To the souls that were left behind.

Now dangling in purgatory with outreached grasping hands
Toward heaven and feet smoldering in hell.

Waiting for the “Great Provision” to pull them into
The sanctuary of submission.


Details | Free verse | |

If Shoelaces Sang Little Rich Town Blues

Not in tea leaves, in shoelaces tie existence--their harsh and meshing material
bound, tethered, undone with a gentle pull. 
 
The bunny ears
and clumsy fingers bouncing along the faux-marble
hallways: the future politicians and CEO's and poets
wiping caked mucus on the white-washed brick foundations--
babbling babbling babbling babbling.
A blood-stone bed surge of tidal maturation,
soon to be lost in the variant eddies of life;
the finger-painted puzzle-box open and unsolvable.
Their parents, for they are honorable, as
picket-fences are honorable, as
tracksuits are honorable, as
Zoloft is honorable, sit ajar
on school streets of vibrant myriad cars quietly dilapidating
behind Armor-All dashes. Old ladies waving dutifully
at lifeless lawn ornaments like lifeless lawn ornaments soon themselves in front of homes because
the youth only want something old when it's time to marry,
Googling what the heart feels for the occasion.
 
Smokestack color windows of depreciating souls searching drunken
down the glossy oak
bar through bent light of whiskey glasses and broken values
they blame on Nietzsche and the price of condoms,
finding a sad reflection seated at this world's dampened end to spread
like ashen snow
again and again and again on sweat-stained futons,
after the lurch toward the water, sloppy with kisses
and lace.
Church bells sound off one and two
O! clock tower
marching Heaven to Hell but got lost in Devil's Lake. They do not hear
the beaten shopping cart radio wobbling like a tripodal Dog, 
telling us Jesus stayed inside because White is translucent in the rain.
 
But,
the wander-footed waywards, leaden eyed, tranced in droning hums of small town streetlights--
or red red copper hangers
or lucid jaundice confessions
or gangrenous light-slivered closets--
break half-empty
beer bottles on familial-faced slogans plastered to an under-bellied bridge and sway
like ebbing wind on the unsure-step shore banks, drooping wasp legs
over the ever-rising precipice
to vein-rush Hellgrammite powder
with their one remaining shoelace
and leave their shoes behind.


Details | Free verse | |

October 31

HELLO ; my voice faintly echoes back Hello
Is anyone there? Can anyone hear me?
I stare into the thick ebony chilly mist
Seeing nothing but the dance of Satan's Demons
Grotesque, disfigured lost souls living in their created darkness
Hell's home for all of mankinds lost sinners
As ghastly faces of the past and present pass through me
The haggard grim eyes of my youth pierce my black Heart
This sleleton of a endless Eternity embraces my soul
Come fly with me in the emptiness of Forever
Watch as you vacuously become a leader among us
We applaud how well you carry the sins of your life
You are a distinguished minion of all that is Evil
Grab Your heavy iron chains of sin and ascend to Your throne

I awake in my bed , in my cabin , my soul intact--- November 1


Happy Halloween to all my Soup Family


Details | Free verse | |

My Children are Mexicans

out in the county and up the highway
anger hangs like lost voodoo over Miami
dances on bumperstickers
floats on airwaves
scars faces with perpetual glares
colors perceptions darkly
alters moods and
drives young men to football coaches
then army recruiters

anger that beats stepchildren
hunts coyotes for pleasure
and hangs corpses on barbed-wire fences
anger that asks
have you seen many Mexicans today?

just my wife and kids so far but it's still early
i hope to see more
he calls me a race traitor
he's to old to hit and i'm to old to hit him
so i suffer a fool
he tells his old wife only a homo would marry a Mexican

middle-aged men in Ford 350's
scatter brown children at bus stops and crosswalks
then pull guns to protect themselves 
from the older brothers of the children they harass
and... hey why did you do that to my little sister?
can get you shot in "self defense"

it gets to me too as anger leads to fear
fear for my Mexican son and daughter
who have records but have committed no crime
but out in the county and up the highway
the police put up roadblocks
issue tickets without cause
and brag, every Mexican in town will have a record

they told my son "what's the big deal everybody gets pulled over
everyone has to pay their share"
even if they
come to a complete stop
obey speed limits
use their blinker
don't tailgate

tell it to the judge, my son and my daughter
the judge who gives out four month sentences
for a third non-offence
or you can pay the
take it off your record fee
we lost your paperwork fee
you live in the wrong neighborhood fee
you drive an old car fee
we don't care if you did it or not fee

then after you pay and pay
re-arrests because the clerk didn't enter the payment
leads to
lost jobs
missed classes
and retracted scholarships
my children are Mexicans

 


Details | Free verse | |

Get Out of My Face!

Get Out of My Face!

What brought all of that on?
Award?  This is not a movie!
Who cares about a stupid award?
And how dare you judge me like that?
You must have lost your brains –
Yes, I see them now!
Right in front of your face
Floating around in the bubble
On your head!  
And you say you love me.
Yeah, right!
And since when did this spaceship
Become yours?  Get a grip.
You want me off of this rust trap?
Right after you, baby!
Oh, who made you judge and jury?
You do not even know what love is.
You are a suck-up.
But you just lost your brownie points.
Do you call screaming at a cohort?
“Love of humanity”
I see it again!
Grey matter scrambled like eggs.  Yum!
I remember when –
You used to eat men alive and brag.
Have you really changed all that much?
You still gloat with words?
Even now, you think you have won.
My dear raging “Power hog”,
Turn the light bulb on…think!
We are in deep space.
What do you think 
Will happen to your prize, 
If I do get off?
I can see it now.
You, Spaceman of the Year,
Worming your way out of the spot light
When T.S. asks you,
“What happened? 
That cute Elaine Justice disappeared?”
Um, well, a…she left the ship.
Really now?
And why was that?
Imagine stumbling your egocentric-self
Right out of your award.
Genuinely, who really cares?
Not I! Said the woman
That still had her brains.
It is time for you to get off.
Love of humanity, or me for that matter,
Is something you know nothing
About…Now, get out of my face!

© Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
May 20, 2010
Poetic form:  Free Verse


Details | Free verse | |

Lamenting Spirit

Seemingly standing alone,
In the shadows of doubt and fear,
Lost, cold, forgotten,
Cold is the grasp of death that nears

Seeking a hand in darkness of solitude,
Wishing for nothing but a love,
Turned away, cast aside, borne not even a stray, lone thought,
Towering aloft, looked down upon from far above

Throned so high overhead, just as kings of old,
Glared down upon, a lowly tear forsaken so,
Caught within a trap, drowning, mists of sorrow,
A voice unheard, a voice deserted, only a voice in woe

Wandering such great, forlorn paths,
A derelict mind harshly beat, a mind that has since long been vacant,
Rove, this neglected child does,
One mind among so many, outcast, this dolor mind abeyant. 


Details | Free verse | |

LET THE MERCY BEGIN*

There is pain in the city today Lord
tears came with the morning wind 
I’m down on my knees
searching for my brothers and my sisters  
promises of forever changed forever within moments 
let the mercy begin

Dreams of tomorrow are now yesterday’s memories 
families lost with strangers...life lost with  innocence
kiss them softly for they have suffered 
protect them all from harm’s way  
and let them be forever warm 
let the mercy begin

Planes flew in the sky right through to heaven’s gate 
a nations strength resolved from the dust of towers
the price of freedom paid for in full on a country field
fortress warriors taken without quarter 
lay each one of them so softly and gently down 
let the mercy begin

A choir of heroes each one a protector of life
men and  women who answered every plea for help 
brave comrades falling in the flames as many to save the few
let their heartbeats become heaven’s eternal sweet symphony  
allow our lives to be a reflection of their true courage and spirit
let the mercy begin

Our distance apart is now but a breath of time
to find one another…simply reach to the sun 
in the sound of a child’s laughter
and when I yearn for the gentleness of their touch
I will need only to hold a butterfly in my hands 
let the mercy begin
                            IRISH

Dedicated to the New York City Fire Department
Written in Chicago, Sept 12th, 2001 


Details | Free verse | |

Dedication to all Those Who misinterpret at Poetry Soup If you Don't Comprehend Don't Read

I wish that we had some understanding on a subject
For Pete's sake because he's tired of explaining himself
To dim-witted losers who call themselves philosophers
I wish that if you speak, convey where your words come from or better yet, 
Where mine come from
Every time I open my mouth you hear the sounds 
But never realize why the noise is made
You make me believe that hearing is lost in the world
Or maybe the world was lost to non-hearing
However your handicaps may be, 
Capitalize on the fact that there's too much wax
Not enough cleaning aids
Earwax can prevent hearing
So I'll shout this "BEFORE YOU CAN RECITE, CHECK ALL SOURCES FOR THE 
APPROPRIATE TERMS OR MEANING, YOU'LL GET EVERYONE CONFUSED BUT MOST 
IMPORTANTLY YOURSELF BY MEANS OF SHEER STUPIDITY" 
Now since I'm calm, lets revisit the issue at hand
Unless the government is paying anyone monthly for being deaf
Let us hear and see correctly, 
Remind our self that major dilemmas in the Universe occurs due to lack of 
understanding or,
Lack of trying to understand


Details | Free verse | |

A Butterfly

I was with my daughters at their favorite playground.  I watched them chase each other 
around the merry-go-round.  Laughing and enjoying the extremely pretty day.  I watched 
them among the other children play.  I couldn't help but smile, hearing their shrieks of 
laughter made life worthwhile.
       As I watched my girls have a fun time.  In my mind I began thinking of a rhyme.  
Something new.  Life is so beautiful and it's something I value....
       People found love but they lost it.  Sometimes life can leave you emotionally 
exhausted.  I thought about the two people who remain married even though it's all for 
show.  A spouse is betrayed with a Judas-kiss.  They remain married so things appear great 
on the surface.  But why?  Why live a lie?  Isn't she tired from wiping tears from her eye?  I 
can't be her samurai and protect her if she don't let me in.  I told her hearts don't break they 
just bend.  She tells me she'll never marry again.  Why?  Because of one guy?  That's 
unheard of! There is only one kind of true love, but there are a thousand imitations.  She 
knows people go through trials and tribulations!
       My thoughts  were momentarily distracted, watching a butterfly in the sky.  I thought - 
Be like the butterfly, be free;  Hold my hand walk with me.  She tells me people can't seem 
to stay committed.  I'll be the first to admit it.  She's right and I understand her pain.  I lost 
my appetite and I thought I too would go insane.  My wife left me for another man.  I did not 
seem to understand.  I searched within myself for the source.  I thought I was to blame for 
her filing for divorce.  But hey, life goes on.  I need to let my friend know, I refuse to let her 
go through her struggles alone.  I will be her back bone!
       As I pictured her in my minds eye.  Several feet away I watched a beautiful butterfly.  
He had a long run if this was the same one I saw in the sky.  It's wings fluttered coming 
closer towards me.  It landed on my knee.  So many bright colors and different designs were 
on it's wings.  I heard Brianna and Jasmines voices calling to me to come push them on the 
swing.  Their voices played melodies on my heartstrings.  My mind shifted again to my friend 
who's like sunshine in the spring.  She needs to know Cupid now has a finer bowstring!
       I looked up at the sky and watched the butterfly begin it's journey anew.  Life is 
beautiful and it's something to value!


Details | Free verse | |

His purple tulip

An endless memory we all have, for it has a purpose, a meaning
Questions bloom in our hearts as to why things happen the way they do
The path I walk truly takes me all around, smile and cries, doubts a few
But allow me to answer my question to you, can you hear me speaking?

I can still taste the light, the ugly bright that blinded the eye
I wept, a different place it was, cold and vast in size, and I no longer was alone
Another person held me high it seemed, and across she was my mother, O' joy was in her cry
New feeling came about, I felt weak to all, I no longer felt protected by the a wall of stone

Growing up was even harder, born into a poor family, my luxuries were limited, but I tried
Finding my self as the center of most jokes, I truly did drop my hear out and it cried
All along that road lost I was, with a million questions in mind, yet no one to seek for an answer
My dreams became my escape, the only strength I did have was hope her self all in anger

Life turns just as fast as it begins to walk its path
Little did I know it be I to feel a truly hurtful wrath
I saw many hearts shatter like glass falling on concrete into a thousand bits
Black hearts walk all over, purple they turn as life hits

Period. A new chapter, 21 years old a new me born
writer a poet? Born a servant? Born a writer? Born to write poetry in His service
A new path given to my feet, where it can walk free of pain from a thorn
Dreams follow, hope walks ahead, but my faith holds hands with my heart

A flower awaits, her petals ever so green
Beauty lives in her, astonishing sight, a more beautiful soul I have never seen
I a lost seed, wish to grow along her side as beautiful as she
A new heart, a new vision for darkpoet is dead, on his grave blossoms a purple tulip


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Standing on this sun-soaked beach without you,
sea splashes mix with salty tears
that the gentle wind brushes from my cheek.
My toes curl into the soft white sand
as they did whenever you caressed me.

Is it a mistake to return so soon,
whence the last strands of happiness lie?
I blight this place which you once graced,
laying lithe and golden on its shore,
out dazzling the sun with your luster.

Laughter from unknowing revellers offends me
and I fix my gaze to past horizons,
where my passion knew no end,
before this shroud of misery enveloped me, 
In an echo of your pall.

Crisp white sheets filled with fragrant breezes
Glide the distant yachts to quiet harbours
Safe from storms they’ll rest peacefully, like you.
Whilst I remain, marooned in turmoil.
At sea.
At loss.
Alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Never Cry Any More For Your Lost Love

Loud shall the darkest days speak, tired and fed!
That there isn’t a truth in the word love,
For they had shed the tears in colour red,
Like blood from the heart of a dying dove.

Long had the cowards played games with you,
they knew your heart was innocent in soul,
that your heart shall make no complaint or sue,
The devils, in the love-mask, those played foul.

not a sight of true love yet touched your heart,
as it shall not come in the devils mask,
and never can it tear your heart apart,
as it sounds no easy for them, a task.

Wait for the true love that shall take your hands,
With true spirits that you never have seen,
in this world or heaven and fairy-lands,
taking you to the depths you never been.

So, let your wings row high upon the sky,
For you will find your new love from its height,
That fills your heart, full, with roses of shy,
while worlds spin envied taking off their sight.

©Anees Rahman


Details | Free verse | |

As A Phoenix

Do not kiss
                those broken mirrors
A lost reflection in a shattered glass

Do not embrace a black smoke bellow
Shedding noxious fumes

From the inside, let not the feud
     of sorrows uncertain
                              consume you
with its tattered trail

Cast aside those soulless shadows
         Step within the light
A glister of the possible
Ah…I know the clamor
                             at injustice
in a stark, dank, world
                     for I have wailed it!

Dance, my love
                    in a sunlit shimmer
Open up the heavy curtains
of uncertainties veil
Dust away the years of torment
Do not hold fast
                          in iron fists
to that which choked the tender

Find that tiny flicker
                      deep within your eyes
on low beam…..
               Fan the flame
                        With the fuel of forget
Let that fire burn
        and rage…
Let it destroy remember
Leave ashes in your wake
                 dusting distant streets

Blaze a trail of Triumph!

Do not kiss those shattered mirrors
For, lost is he who does…..


Details | Free verse | |

Victim of Politics

Simple joys
took for granted
a life worth living
lost beyond the horizon
silently seeking a dream
lost among the crowded streets
longing to succeed
wander i do
can't understand why they won't speak
not a glimpse back at me
just a face in a sea of strange
drowning out what i feel
motionlessly staring out above their heads wanting change
but not reacting not directing these timid words
life a blur an altered appearance of perfection i pro tray
chained to the dark erection of society forced to suck it all in
a slave to the times raped by a government's weakness
bleeding and bruised i continue on with out a care still believing this won' t happen again but it does everyday over and over again pounded to the curb
just a number in a universe of unknowing
a forgotten victim of politics as usual


Details | Free verse | |

Before Her

I'm a bubble ready to burst
And I'm mad because I'm not your first
You say that your love for me is true
But she loves you and you love her, too

I am so confused
And I feel so used
I miss how life was before she came
Before she got all the fame

I lost my laugh
And my heart has been torn in half
I was pushed away from everyone; shoved
And now I've lost everyone that I've loved


Details | Free verse | |

Like, Like, How Could She?

Like, this one time, in band camp 
I asked this girl out and she like, 
Said no, and I like 
Like totally liked her, and like 
I almost loved her and she said like, 
Like, like no, 
Like how could she? 
I was so hurt, like, seriously 
Not like, broke a nail hurt, like really, 
Really, 
Really, 
Really hurt, you know? 
Like it wasn't even in my head you know? 
Well, it was, but it was like, deeper than that 
It was right in my chest, like right by my heart 
Every time it beat, it like, hurt 
And it like, didn't stop 
Not for anything, 
Like not even when I went to sleep, 
It like, just hurt, and hurting 
And like, like never stopped 
It hurt like, so bad 
It was like the worst feeling I ever felt, 
Like in my entire life, 
How could she say no like that? 
Like really? 
I like, lost her 
Totally lost her 
But I like never had her to begin with, 
Still it hurt, because I like almost loved her 
And it felt like she was mine, but she wasn't 
And like, now she'll never be. 
This is like, sooo depression, 
How can I march in a time like this? 
I just totally feel deprived of happiness and meaning, 
I could die, I could totally die right now 
Like I'm not even kidding, I could stop living 
Right now, just die, 
I could go to that cabin and get on the roof 
Then like get onto that higher roof on the cabin next to it 
And then like, totally jump off and die 
Just die like a frog under a tire you know? 
"Not a lesbian" she says, well whatever 
I can't believe this, this is so sad 
You know, this is so bad, you know what I'm going to do? 
You know what I'm going to do? 
I'll like, tell you 
I'm going to go eat some cheese, 
Goodbye. 


Details | Free verse | |

If I Forget

If I forget,
Remind me of your name
As it must have slipped away.

If I forget,
Show me a photo of my face
As it surely has changed.

If I forget,
Take my hand back to that place
For I've certainly lost my way.

If I forget,
Breathe a gentle breath in my ear
If will calm my fear and rekindle the flame.

If I forget,
Bring the heart straps
That held me to you like glue.

And if I forget,
Carry the memory of us
It is lost but a treasure on a raft on the waves...

TRS, 09/13/08


Details | Free verse | |

Painful Sorrow and Loneliness

I’m sitting on a park bench…in the rain
Crying, with no one to console me…
I lost my family…and I lost my friends
And what’s worst is that my love left me…
I never knew that loneliness could hurt so much
And I never thought that it could happen…to me
Well I guess I was wrong…

These tears of mine won’t stop falling down my face
With every tear that drops, it represents
The pain I caused everyone in my life…
I can’t turn back time, though I wish I could
And correct all of my mistakes and live happily!

Now I walk home alone…with nothing
On my mind, except for misery…
I sit in the corner…where it is dark
So that I can escape reality…
I never knew that sorrow would hurt me at all
Because I believed that I was too strong for that
But I guess that I was wrong…

The pain in my chest won’t go away
With every tear that drops, it represents
The loneliness that I experience everyday in my life…
I only pray that God above will
Help turn my miserable life around for me!

These tears of mine won’t stop falling down my face
The pain in my chest won’t go away
With every tear that drops, it represents
The pain I caused everyone in my life…
I can’t turn back time, though I wish I could
And correct all of my mistakes and live happily!
With every tear that drops, it represents
The loneliness that I experience everyday in my life…
I only pray that God above will
Help turn my miserable life around for me!


Details | Free verse | |

Jesus You Know His Heart

Once soft meadows so full of life,
now hold shadows, blocking the light.
Words unheard, and dreams untouched,
once your eyes laughed so much.
Distant sounds, still call your name,
within a body silenced by the game.
Love can't touch, and tears can't clean,
that part we know as self esteem.
Yesterdays of you, bring me joy,
recalling back when you were a boy.
Shiny blonde hair, and smiling blue eyes,
my heart forever hypnotized.
As tomorrow comes, and life goes on,
somewhere happiness must belong.
My prayer for you I humbly ask,
may light surround you within God's grasp.
A blessing for me, when you were born,
but somehow evil has sent this storm.
Jesus You know him, but he has lost his way,
hold him tight, don't let him stray.
Bring him safely to me once more,
as the waves get higher on unknown shores.
Lost is lonely, and screaming for help,
but I can't save him all by myself.
I give him to You, as I sit and cry,
a mother in pain, I cannot lie.
Your mother watched, as you died on a cross,
a mother in pain, for her son she had lost.
You gave her comfort, You called her name,
now I give You mine, my heart feels the same.
Bring him safely back into the flock,
as You guide a lost vessel from hidden rocks.
Let him know joy, let him feel rain,
as Your Love gently brings, my son home again.





Details | Free verse | |

Your Death - Dedicated to my Husband

As I see you take your last breath
I cry and scream in agony
For I have lost my best friend and
The only man that ever truly loved me
You knew all my secrets
You knew all my faults
And loved me in spite of them

Now I feel bitter regret
Because I have missed so
Much time with you
And now it is too late
I have lost you forever

You were the only one 
Who was ever true to me
You would have ripped
Out your heart if I needed it
Though abuse and betrayal
Found me because of you
I always knew how much
That you loved me

Despite the many faces 
That you have encountered
During your lifetime
I was the only woman
That you ever loved 
Though I was full of
Many imperfections 
You saw me as 
The perfect woman
In every way
The devotion you have
Shown me surpasses
That of all of the romantic
Tales that have ever been told

Now all I can do is
Cherish your memory
Like I should have done
When you were alive
Your passing does not
Only mean the ending 
Of your earthly existence
It is the death to the
Beating of my heart
For I cannot live
Without my soul mate



Details | Free verse | |

after you died

The tear of my eye
Won’t come down anymore

After you died
I forgot faithfulness, love and destiny
Friendship among my life

I stayed in my room
So lonely I sat
My injured heart bleeds blood from inside

After you died
The sun won’t come up
The moon wont rise

After you died
The spot of light inside me was gone

After you died
There’s no one to talk to
No other side

The earth would cry 
Waiting for you ….
My broken soul
Would prefer to die ……


After you died 
The friend that was so faithful 
Won’t come back to life

After you died
Misery, desperate, and anger
Were placed in I 

After you died
There was no one to hold to 
No one to help you fly 

After you died
No one gave me a hand 
No one showed me the path 
That I had lost 
From you 
From you 
No one told me that this would happen 
No other plan 

Where did you go 
I’m lost without you 
My feelings had left me 
I had no other chance 

Tell me 
Where did u go? 
After you died?






Details | Free verse | |

Unconditionally

I'm so in love with you,
Definitely head over heels,
I wish I could fall in love with you every day,
To keep experiencing how it feels,

How it feels to crawl into bed,
And fall asleep gently knowing,
That you are meant for me,
And we will be forever growing,

How it feels to wake up late at night,
So I can think about you some more,
Just to make sure my next dream of you,
Starts off like the one before,

It was me who first said I love you,
I was lost in your eyes,
You remember,
We both had stomachs’ full of butterflies,
I was shaking,
And I started to cry,

You said I love you back,
We both smiled and kissed,
I wish I could count every time I say I love you now,
But there's too many times to list,

Tonight is one of those nights,
Where I sit and get lost thinking about you,
No wonder my favorite number is two,
When it comes to me and you,

Dreams of walking with you along the coast,
With the sunset to our backs,
I have so much love to give,
And you deserve the most,

We've had our moments,
Our hard times,
But it all seems worth it now,
Because I have you baby,
And I'm done committing crimes,
Now I just write down my love for you,
And make sure it rhymes,

I love you baby.           this poem was  written by my 16 year old grandson.  i was
blown away when he posted it.  . at how good his writing skills are......i guess i 
will have to give him a site of 
his own now. .  i am so proud of him.


Details | Free verse | |

Complex truths

I sit in state of wonder
   as my mind does ponder
      over thoughts 
        which compared to thought are fonder
      than t' prefer that thoughts no longer
   would linger and finger about the essence
Of reality's encompassing presence
   While'st I stare through care
      To do all that I may dare 
   To alter all to do what in our minds is fair
   as we find fair left behind
and that care is lost in time
   all the point is lost in rhyme
the rhyme however is not a loss of point
   infact the joint of with without
means no existance without could be 
   with and out of sencerity 
      and doubt begins to fade
   the truth of lie has been made
we work with what we know
   to let the spirit go and see our "destiny"
      to come and no winds blow
     o'r our path to let world show
    that arrow follows path of bow
   and further will the spirit go
with than without the firing bow
    and string which wrings and sings 
  and begins to bring the thought to action
    and begins the unaction of  the unthought thought
      as becomes what is now not and once what was
   is only thought which stays unthought and reality's reality soon will rot
to grow the truth of lies and death
   and life's cycle is now at best
when all is equal, leaving end and sequal


Details | Free verse | |

Looking In

Looking In



May I lean on the cold glass now
and look into a world stolen from me
condensing words to cold brittle panes
obscuring my likeness

I am no longer there

And as you abide now
in the transplanted warmth of my heart
I will try to kiss the continuum 
that was once so part of my life

So have I lost the feel of your skin now
have I lost your glance
now that you have disengaged your limbs 
from our dance

Separated now 
by the barrier of trickling smiles
left in tears on cold winter glass

I face it alone 
the smiles have gone
to their home they made in the past


Details | Free verse | |

Red Line

**********************To Beautiful... Forever on my mind**************************


I awake to such pleasantry
her beautiful face once more
I get dressed, grab my keys
and head for the front door
I try to think of anything
to relieve my mind of her
I can't get anything done
my mind is slightly blurred
she has me twisted
it's not like me,
sprung, bewitched
I'm slowly dropping to my knees

For twenty two years 
been friends
For eighteen months
been lovers
I care for her most
there is no-one else
above her

******************************

My pager vibrates
than blares out loud
what a hellacious sound
I recognize the number
her mother is calling me
is it a special occasion?
because for nothing do we agree.
She answers with a sniffle
mumbling incoherently
Beautiful has been shot
in a convenience store robbery

My blood drained quickly,
face turned casper white.
My legs turned to Jell-O
now i've lost my sight
I used whatever strength I had
whatever I could muster
I had to reach the hospital
to tell her that I love her.
Be there when she needs me most
be strong and show no pain.
Hold back my tears,
going against my grain.

By the time I reached her bedside
able to hold her hand.
The doctor said "We've lost her"
" We've done everything we can.."

The Red-Line Sounds....................................................................................................... 
..........:JP)...................


Details | Free verse | |

Sixty Seconds

I take a deep breath and count to ten,
no fifteen ,
because every fifteen seconds I’m missing you.
And these jail cell walls that define us,
these jail cell walls that divide us,
these jail cell walls that confine us,
only makes me miss you more.
Because the only embrace is between steel bars
that contort us
distort us
support us through court – us.
And your just miles away 
but these miles seem like a millennium
and I can only speak to you through letters,
but there is no reply.
I feel like I’m on a one way road
swimming leagues only to find myself drowning in a desert.
Drunk off the memories,
drunk off every syllable I write
pretending that our conversations are real, on a two way road instead of one.
I miss you.
I miss our long talks on the smoking porch,
chaining long white cigarettes,
tarring our lungs like it’s something beautiful.
You are beautiful to me
in all of your queerness
in all of your scars
in all of your mistakes-
so beautiful.
These jail cell walls that define us,
these jail cell walls that divide us,
these jail cell walls that confine us,
only makes me miss you more.
I take a deep breath and count to fifteen,
no twenty,
because there are twenty cigarettes in a pack,
and twenty more days until I see you,
and twenty more times I must wake up,
knowing that your spine is broken in two,
knowing that your hipbones are bruised,
knowing that we’ve got nothing to lose.
Let’s move.
Move away from all this misery,
from all this catastrophe,
from all these pleas-
Please come back to me.
Come back to the times of freedom,
falling through the cracks of judgment
and **** all those who think it’s wrong to be gay.
Let’s be gay.
Let’s be blissful once again.
Come back to us,
through the steel bars,
through the jail walls,
through the time of captivity,
Come back to me.
And I’ll take a deep breath and count to ten,
No twenty,
No thirty,
No sixty,
because each minute that ticks on by
I am missing you.


Details | Free verse | |

Generic Minds

generic minds listen to generic music
have generic thoughts that are unknowingly abusive
watch generic things talk about generic things
gee this generic *****is spreading like a disease
better get your flu shot 
thats what they said to me
a suicidal vaccine 
a subliminal killing spree
its contagious and the outrageous
thing about it is that the people are blind in an eye
that they didn't even know they had
it's sickening to watch these clueless civilians 
inside the looking glass
with nightmares of being free
without a key to their mind
for it is trapped in the frequency
in the illusion of time
bathed in our universe
killing all that refuse to see
those that admit to hypocracy
or see the message in hip hop
how cant you see
the message in the lyrics that
bring adolescents to their knees
from bullet wounds conflicting their flesh
contradicting that they're the best
but the songs keep telling them that they dont need no rest
that they dont wanna go home
that they should ride alone
with the gat as their only companion
and so the only path they choose is the one that they're told
until they grow old and hope turns to a window pane
inside a window pane, until all they feel is pain
they realize that the music itself is ashamed
so whats to look up to
when you cant even speak when you cant even walk because you look so bleak
your eyes are sunken from the tv you're infested with the dee zees
now its too late to turn around and live for your conscious
so when youre screaming oh please
close your eyes and bring your mind to life
open your eyes for the first time
and never wonder why
since the answer this entire time
has been inside
and you better find it before you die
you dont want your soul to be in a pool with all the others
a buncha brothers missing their mothers
but only seeing strangers
only feeling the haters
wishing they would have used their minds when they had them
and now its too late,
now it's time for another new born fate to grab them


Details | Free verse | |

Listen to Me

You never listen
Yes I know it's true
I see you try and deny it
How's that working for you?

I will say one thing
You will hear another
I will try to fix it
The misunderstanding you see

I just got in trouble
(Sigh) I told you so
They never listen to me

They say they do 
And I know they try
But all I want to do is scream
"JUST LISTEN TO ME SOMEONE PLEASE"

All I asked is that you think
What is real?
Do I ever ask this?
Will I ever again?

All I really did
Was ask
For friend

All I want
Is to be free
Free to listen
And free to be me

Sadly though
You'll never see
Just how much your 
Not listening has killed me

I have tried
Really I did
I know that I'm not eighty
I know that I'm not nice
But the only thing I asked 
For was five minutes (at the most) of your life.

I'm sorry that you failed
I'm sorry that I tried but
Mostly I'm just sorry that
I'm not sorry,
Not anymore.


Details | Free verse | |

Generic Oppression Poem

Oppressed by you, your state, your religion
So you think you good, kind and Superior
But I find you  cruel, arrogant and callous
But that is just in my view, what do I know?

You control the language that describes pain
But there is no for me in its grid, or how I feel
My soul is ripped from my body and bound,
On to your machines on which I slave and toil.

You say it has to be this way, no room for doubt
Master and slave, it is only a matter of degrees
But it is my kind that is always tied to the rack
While you sip vintage wine in the lap of luxury.

Everything has its time and its place, yours is over
End is near, for you and everything you hold dear
Everything carries with it the root of its own destruction
And I will rejoice now that your has very nearly come.


Details | Free verse | |

Not To Be Used

Not To Be Used 
Isabel Serrano Hoogsteyns

Tickling began to contour my face
Cold destroyed the water 
The windmill enforced in pain
I felt powerful
Velocity, the verse of my whole body 
Moving in a single direction
Follicles covered the air
There was a sour sound, like the one of metal clinging 

Boom! A sudden stop
His face was a fresh grass after a long night sleep
Up and down, this flesh was his
Nonetheless, not to be used
Not to be touched
The red around them made my heart untangle
Discover the power of a single word
Except, to notice this wound was gone...



Details | Free verse | |

Three Verbs

a well dressed mess,
I am but a man
with a sinister past
seeking redemption.

b*tching,
venting,
& ranting.
are three verbs I tend
to utilize while writing.
because writing is my outlet,
my craved for aperture,
even my superlative release
in the pursuit of an escape
from a reality which once
was capable of compelling 
my lips to crease into a smile,
but now only fills my chest 
with the tension of a thousand
cold-sweat soaked nightmares.
These three vulgar verbs
keep my mind lucid
through my abdication
of actuality for the
necessary occupation 
of thought required 
to keep these demons 
composed of crushed pills
and empty bottles at bay.

I feel the genius today.
I love every word, letter,
and line that I'm writing.
but tomorrow I'll hate this.
I'll think this sh*t is worthless
as I consider deleting it all.
Yet I can't part with it.
like my utter inability to
forget & let go of this fading
amatory connection whose
love once gave me hope as
well as sex that left scars,
both cerebral and somatic.
I loved her so f***ing much
and if I'm being honest, 
I must admit I still do.

as a parting favor
I simply ask you not
to confound these
words I write with
apathy and despair;
 they may sting off
the tip of my tongue
but they come from
a place that's sincere
and filled with more
than mere goodwill.
I simply have a crestfallen
& despondent perspective.

This, too, will
pass with time.
or so they say.


Details | Free verse | |

in the sand

between the grains of sand
all my dreams shattered apart
a cup of my coffee spilled in between
 dissolved between the salty waves
 disappeared
just like a lost dream
between the grains of sand a lost life 
so things seem
no matter how hard I hold on
everything  from between my fingers slip
just like sand   grains
lost between life's sea waves in endless vain
one thing that would remain
that would be pain


Details | Free verse | |

CELL PHONE

The dead can offer you nothing
except your own, hard work.
Don’t stand so close.
Their reach is longer than your fear.
They are desperadoes with
nothing to lose,
nothing to give,
only more of the same.

Don’t stare too hard
at those full of their own emptiness.
They have nothing to offer,
nothing in their words, their eyes,
they can’t offer their hearts -
they have none.

If you look too long
you begin might begin
to think you’re just like them,
catching the light rail
eternally stuck between where
they’ve come from
and where you’re going.


Details | Free verse | |

World War - Benita Margaronis

RED  DOOR (collaboration)


by~ Benita Margaronis

War Of The World Death, pain, blood, 
Shell-shocked men, suffering and darkness. 
It's all they ever saw.  
Soldiers thinking about their lives.  
Rotting flesh and the whimper of dying men with their bodies half blown off.  
Other soldiers shooting them in the head to end their pain.   
The shattering sound of an explosive destroying life and more ground.  
Blood and body parts spray through the air and spread throughout the ground. 
Total emptiness and nothingness.  
Mounds and mounds of biting bodies and horses.  
Scattered planes, tanks, trucks and others.  
Burning guns and oil.  
Because the world went to war so much was lost for so little gain.  
The war of the world shall never be forgotten. 


by~ Poet Destroyer

War of the world Sacrifice.
Doors tainted red, tragedies never forgotten.
Mediterranean swept the soul of combatants without a word to say.
A war so defiant both sides lost more than humanity to each other. 
Prisoners, white flag surrendering, shot in the head with no remorse.
Brave soldiers wiping off the blood of their face like a tear.
Men in fetal positions crying hard like the day they were born for*mom-MA.
Soldiers pocket full of notes and dog-tags for a loved one.
Achievements that followed death without a mother's hand to hold.
Chaotic news and telegrams traveled without a moment to spare.
A flag brought to the door painted black.
Mothers falling to the floor broken hearted.
Because no one can mend the courage one gave to us today. 
The war of the world shall never be forgotten.


A collaboration with * Benita Margaronis

My collaboration contest


Details | Free verse | |

Writer's Block

You will find parchments
Rejected by authored conundrums
Wind skating under sun-kissed flashes
At barren intersections

Cabins made of dementia coated oak
Fiberglass windows
Aluminum antennas
All covered by Mother Nature’s frozen tears

While monotony’s smoke signal
Hand paints lunar rhythms
Across blank sheet music

Residential conductors
Shackled under down comforters’ revenge
Arguments with hair follicles
Pulling
Sanity from scalp

You will hear no parties
On the hour of downfall’s solstice

Rusted batteries on clock tower
Rendering fingernails’ passage of time
Insignificant

Seconds
Minutes
Nowhere to turn
Numbness upon “cliques”

Until,
A sentence is formed.

Celebrated gasps of incipient layered ascension

Jovial apparitions
Place “For Rent” sign on their withered cabin

Awaiting new applications

On Writer’s Block

©Drake J. Eszes


Details | Free verse | |

Life of the Party

Beirut.
You’ve always been the life of the party.

I’ve seen the sun smile at you,
on Saturday mornings.
As your women
hung over and wrecked
with Jesus crosses on their necks
waltz through streets
trying to find a ride back home.

Your green wooden window panes,
always left open.
Always left waiting.
A sign of hope.
As if something holy
or someone with a red cape on
would come
and save you.

I see it
I feel it
The pain
The terror
I see the bullets 
That have pierced through your walls
Left you with nothing

Your anarchists
Your extremists 
Your people
Your children
Are all fighting
Over a hit 
of the fix you gave them.
Oh Beirut,
what have they done?

I see the clouds of smoke rising
I see your people left bare
with secrets to strip off
and hang on the laundry ropes
that fill your skies

The writings on your walls say it all.
You’ve lost your soul
You’ve lost your spark

Corruption
Destruction
You made the rules 
and then asked us to break them.
I’m not sure who to blame.
Them,
Or you.

You left me high and dry-
Lost in the alleys of your dark streets

I didn’t know who to blame.
So I asked around, Beirut.

I asked the men on motorcycles
who snatch purses from old women.
I asked your nine year old
gypsy beggars.
I asked your officers 
and the teenagers in cellars,
who in another world could’ve been heroes or poets.
I asked your university students,
but they were too stoned to comprehend my questions.
High on a drug of complacency
High on a drug of nonchalance
High on a drug of compromise.
So 
Numb
Numb
Numb


I asked your gods.
Your middle-men.
The pictures on the walls
of your many leaders.

I asked your fathers
Your rapists
Your artists
Your lawyers 
Your educators

I even asked the old man pushing a cart of oranges in Hamra.

But nothing was to be found…

Not even a tad of sanity…
Not even a sense of security
You couldn’t give me that, could you?

Oh Beirut.
You’ve always been the life of the party. 
But I’ve seen them frown at you,
when dawn breaks and you walk out on them
hung over and wrecked 
with a cross around your neck
walking over shattered beer bottles…
trying to find a ride back home.


Details | Free verse | |

a come down world view from on high

some-tin-can-tan-man 
playing in the sand
with paper tigers
  a bear with many tentacles
red everywhere
	in the skies
  clouds streaming down
hispeed downsload online power lines
  pavement-red trees ripe for slicing
 and many motored mobiles moving
i see these incessant seas of disease
in roving throes of twos and threes
  drunken eyes of manned machines
madness is sporadic maelstroms
tornadic hail storms whispering
lightning peals
of eclectic ills
the meek willed and weak be killed
the party's all in pink
its all happening
   its happening now
this Eden scene reality
happy masses spending spree
breeds palmistry lost honesty
espirit de corps in manistry
    the trenchmouth of a diarrhetic mind
the media of waste and waists
 culture crowd
   cry crass and proud
 there is nothing reprobate
WE are all there is to hate
we've lost our sense in satin sets of
  scents and sins in suddenness

                     now is the beginning of then
	love is the beginning of fears
	time is the beginning of when
	hate is the start of smears

i am forever tears
  and woodwind promises
singing softly
sighing what seaweed sees
screaming as seaweed streams
	strings of steaming
  arty-choked minds
  and children dreaming
      brain washed carbon cycles
	power washed spirochetes
   imminent demise by sunrise
Media theatrics of medium minds
  like mediums find
  gallows galvanizing
Gallup Polls as Mesmer  rising

truth is news
but the news aint truth
and that aint news
but it is the truth

 rude uncouth pursueth youth
	to chase the shadows backward
progressive eye
 see no wrong
shame is yet a choice
    silence none
          let us sing
but only in one voice
our world's a stage
of  gilded age
 	a rounded cage of ageless rage
    	and HIStory is a sexist word
a reckless neckless Texas word
   afraid of path ahead of us
afraid of rain bloodstained with rust
      afraid of pain for there is gain
enflamed estranged defamed with trust
   be shamed be shamed be shamed
we must
i'll work me up 
till i explode
a goldenrod that never glowed
a farmer whom has never sowed
i'll toe a line hence never toed
in dirt the truth is never soiled
in earth its known and never spoiled
in trees with leaves it breathes unseen
the breezes that will never leave us
if Jesus pleases may it seize us
all consuming never leave us
please O God may it never leave us
and only then
can it free us


Details | Free verse | |

Love, Death, and Rebirth

The signs started in December
When she started waking up in tears each night
She was a normal girl with dark brown hair and darker brown eyes
She had plenty of friends and a loving family with just one thing missing
Her father. 

Days passed by and turned into weeks but only felt like a few seconds
Her life just whizzed by faster and faster until it was just a whirr in front of her eyes
Darkness filtered into her heart and mind until she didn't know if she could go on
But she had to. She couldn't let her mother and her sister drown in this same pain
She wouldn't let them.

She pushed all the darkness into the depths of her own heart
In hopes to save the hearts of the two people she had left
Because what else was there to live for now?
The rest of her world had crashed and her mother and sister was all that was left 
She wouldn't let them drown in pain too. 

She watched as they started to heal in her loving arms
Their hearts started to lighten up once more
But hers was just as dark as it was before 
And growing darker day by day 
But she wouldn't let that stop her. 

Suddenly a year had passed... and then two 
It only seemed like seconds to her but everyone else started moving on
Her mother and sister no longer needed her nurturing care
But she needed someone to hold on to
Anyone...

With nothing left for her to take control of, the dark pushed past her boundries 
It found a way into her soul
Until all she could see was dark and no light 
But her mother and sister were healed now
They didn't understand

The tears came back and engulfed her soul
Bit by bit until she wasn't sure why she was still alive
The grief took over like knives 
Piercing her skin over and over and over
It hurt so much.

She started to wonder what it'd look like to be dead
She could see him again if she was
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to endure this pain?
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to live knowing she'd never see him again?
It would.

So she started to hate herself
All that negative energy was starting to take toll
Everyone around her was breathing while she suffocated more and more by the second
She wished she'd just choke already instead of living in constant pain
If no one would put her out of her misery, she'd have to do it herself

She couldn't see any light anymore
So she grabbed the pill bottle off the shelf and just hoped it wouldn't take long to die
Deep down she still had a spark of light, but she just couldn't find it 
And now it was too late in her mind to change, to turn back and try to look deeper
She was done living.

That's when people started to notice that everything wasn't as peaceful as it seemed
They started to see how deeply depressed she had become
They wanted to help her see the light again before it was too late 
So they sent her away to see doctors and to take pills to make everything better
It was a start.

She didn't see a change at first but suddenly she could think clearly
Maybe what they were doing was actually going to help her see the light again
Yes, she still wanted to die, but maybe that wasn't the only option anymore
They cared,  and behind all their own problems they were trying to understand
They really were trying

Six months longer she would be treated and cared for
Until suddenly she was sent home from her treatment and care with a smile on her face
She had a new perspective
Someone had helped her ignite that spark in her heart until it was a glowing ember
She had been reborn

Sometimes you have to be able to experience the worst of it
To come back shining brighter than before
And if she had died that cold day in October, she wouldn't of ever seen the best of it
Or known that it would get better
and it did!

And she now sits at her laptop, with a smile on her face and warmth in her heart
It's never been an easy road and it won't ever be
But at least she knows she's lived through the worst
And it can only get better from here

So whenever she feels lonely or gets back into that dark spot again
She can look back on what she's learned and can read this poem
And remember that she survived the darkest depths of depression
And she will continue to survive it as long as she lives
Because she is stronger now than she ever was before ?


Details | Free verse | |

The Autumn Affect

There's something unspecific about the autumn nights
A certain shade of color that uplifts my inner child's eyes
Beside a cashmere moon Venus and Jupiter shine bright
Complimented by a sea of blinking infinite twilight
The scent of burning oak lingers in the air from home made fires
Reminiscent of a time when this man was just a child
Careless and so free to dream and any dream to live
Like feathers floating across a field carried by the wind
As a gentle breeze blows through the leaves shivering delightful gloom
Unlike flowers of springtime the disheveled autumn vibrance bloom
Leaves crackle beneath my feet along the skeleton tree path
Where I try to find my peace or a song to make me laugh
The air is so much crisper and also soothing when I breathe it in
Underneath a starry sky and brighter constellations of Heaven
Amidst the trail I pass a lovely couple holding hands
While their children run aside frolicking in a playful dance
An old man and his wife admire the view from a wooden bench 
With smiles on their face as if nostalgia is still their closest friend
Its these specific autumn affects that bring me sorrows and joy
Reminding me of all theses things Ive wanted as a man since I was a little boy 
Its times like these that I wish I wasn't always so alone
Because I would light an fire with my family and call it home


Details | Free verse | |

Final Adieu

Final Adieu

Let another sun set,
Let another flower wilt,
Let another autumn cast its gloom,
Let another tear role,
As ye part, and bid
The final adieu.

Suyash Saxena
St. Stephen’s college


Details | Free verse | |

The Third Eye

These mysterious mist coloured hills
Leading up to the foot of the mountain
The smell of marshy terrain
Distant times and lost legends
Its where I often see lost souls,departed their earthly uniform
Visions only the third eye can see

What I see is a pale gray unhealthy face
Steeped in the worst imaginable fears
Something indescribable has struck that once living individual
Something evil happened around this swampy place
Thick layers of fog,increases my awereness of unblessed acts
Visions only the third eye can see

Who could this poor soul be?
Signs of  a time long ago,we live in different worlds,different eras
That face I see,has not found peace and blessings
Lost between parallel existences
Visions only the third eye can see

The third eye,interesting place,energy-sucker
Uncomfertable at times
Messanger of what has been,and will take place
Late afternoon,dusk,often activity
Close my eyes,displayed like a movie scrolls behind my eyelids
Visions only the third eye can see

These are the visions I see and which chases me
Never gives me that peace and quiet I sometimes need
The black crow,messanger of death and ilness
Hounts me,sometimes I don`t know who it is before it goes down
Living on historical grounds,helds many secrets of bygone times
Visions only the third eye can see


A.Ertsland
Repost from 17th.January 2012


Details | Free verse | |

'I've lost myself'


Emotionally drained
scars no longer visible
and I can still anticipate
the next slap 
held prisoner by my thoughts

the pain deep within
a voice,
telling me I must have been at 
fault
for him to turn from love 
to hate in just a few minutes

mom always said the 
husband 
is always right

Why do I fear his love? 
Why do I question who I am? 

I use to know what I want 
from life 
now I await his approval
I’ve lost myself 
in between the hidden scars
and the swear words

the constant refrain, 
'you'll never make it without 
me' 

I’ve lost myself in between
his "I’m sorry and "it will 
never happen again" 

I’ve heard it so many times
every time I take him back

God knows I'm tired of his 
broken promises and second 
chances.

I've lost myself in my quest 
for love
so lost, sometimes powerless
deep down I know this isn't 
love 
and yet I still hang on

hang onto his false hope

thinking it is suppose to be 
this way

hopefully one day I will find 
myself again.. 

I have to, so I can show my 
children a better way 
then scars and swear words... 


Show them the true meaning 
of love without fear

We are approaching 16 days of activism for no violence against women and children which is an international event commemorated in South Africa as well. 25 November 2011 – 10 December 2011
©131120111821


Details | Free verse | |

Rain, The Story 1 of 3

Entry submitted in honor of - Constance ~ A Rambling Poet ~

Rain, The Story  1/ 3

I am telling you a story of a lovely girl Rain,
So cute and charming she was, 
Like a fairy or a refreshing drop of rain.

Rain had two heavenly white horses,
Beautiful, fierce and bold, like demons on earth,
She used to ride these bold and beautiful, one by one and
They liked Rain, like a fairy from heaven.

She had named the male horse as Past, and the female as Future,
Every day, she used to talk with them like humans, 
As they were accomplishing, many of her unusual thoughts. 

One day, while she was standing, beside her horse named Past,
Rain was trying to read in his lovely eyes,
The golden pages of her bygone past,
She knew that only her lovely friend Past,
Could bring back to her, the memories of her,
Most cherished love Aiden and the images of her lovely past, 
As only few years back,  she had lost her love Aiden.				

Her most dear lovely horse Past
Was a brilliant piece of creation,
Having the silk color,  of ivory white,
He was even capable to unfold before Rain,  
Those bygone images and stories of Rain’s lovely past,
When she used to often fly and dance like a butter fly,
And felt blooming like the petals of a lovely yellow Rose,
Amid the company of her love Aiden, she unfortunately lost.

She came close, to her dear graceful Horse Past
And looked deep into the mysterious eyes of her favorite Past,
The Horse Past came to know immediately, 
What Rain was trying to find, in the eyes of her dear friend Past,
Next moment, she felt mesmerized and lost in a new world, 
Created by the wonderful eyes of her brilliant horse Past.

In the enchanting depths, of the horse eyes,
She began to feel herself comfortable and completely lost,
Rain felt as if she was standing, on a ground full of ice like sand,
Where her love Aiden was calling her, from a little far off,  
A little away from her, but not too close,
Aiden had extended his hands to take her in his arms.		

She ran to meet her love and to be in his strong lovely arms,
Embracing, kissing and looking without moving her eyes from him,
This was always a passion for Rain, like a dream thought.

Ravindra
Kanpur India 28th Dec. 2010				Continue in part 2

Contest entry:        For this contest only
Contest Name:       Rain, The Story
Sponsored by:        Constance ~ A Rambling Poet ~
Written by:	       Ravindra K Kapoor



Details | Free verse | |

over and over agin

sometimes i talk to myself, 
my mind is racing,
i dont know what to do...
so hard to explain.
depression isn't a stage
or a faze some kids go through
it shatters you...
i saw it all. 
she cried silent in her bed,
blood stains covered her favorite jeans,
her every shirt,
long sleeve ofcourse...
she suffered through it all with few people to call friend
and more to call enemy
even more to say where quite dissappointed....
FAT
her first name in school,
not started by a bully
or a mean rival,
but by her sister, 
and it echoed through her soul,
repeating in her mind... over and over again,
like the ripples of still water
when a pebble is dropped
flash frozen in time
repeating,
over and over again...
It was the first name they gave her,
millions where created over the years,
some unique
some repeating again, just as the first had..
gothic they called her,
emo, fat, ugly....worse things.
but in her mind, things where worse.
everything was repeating,
over and over again,
finally she believed it. 
she asked for help, from everyone
tried to explain to parents she wasnt well,
got called a psycho for asking to see a theripist,
not from a teacher,
not from a class mate,
but from her own father, who wouldn't, couldn't,
believe there could possibly be a thing wrong....
finally, crying, she confessed her bloody secret to a teacher.
rather then giving her time,
she is sent back to class crying her eyes out, as if she wherent going through enough...
she is sent to the principals office a few minutes later, after breaking down in class...
the princlipal says she needs help,
sends her and her dad for a risk evaluation,
her dads crying as she shows him her cuts...
they walk into a hospital room, 
it smells of chemicals and hand sanitizer,
the lady at the desk gives her a smile.
then she goes into a room with a lady,
her cheeks are sunken in and shes wearing way too much makeup,
the girl is gaging on her perfume,
and she looks really intimidating....
her dark brown hair looks dead and flat
even though its a bit wavy, 
and she wears somewhat of a mocking frown.
asks her all these questions,
is mommy beating her?
no
is daddy raping her?
no
is she doing drugs?
not alot
is anyone beating her?
pass...
did anyone molest her? 
pass....
oxcarbezapine, trazadone, citalipran, clinazapam, colonipan,
valium, lithium, more.......
and thats what they gave her,
more... 
some numbed the pain
some brought it out
tearing through her organs,
she became an addict by the time she was fourteen....
over dose after over dose
some for pleasure
some for pain,
gashes on her legs getting deeper,
this time she didnt tell a soul,
not even those she had come to call friends....
wakeup she screamed in her head over and over again
as she dropped weight like it was nothing....
you cant controll it she argued as things became worse. 
at age fourteen she attempted suicide,
she didnt quite succeed.
the medication took away her aappitite....
she liked it
she hated her body
hated herself
felt out of controll
found a new way to cope
as she shoved tooth brush after toothbrush down her throat
to keep her body from nuitrients...
as she whent weeks and weeks spitting food into napkins and making excuses 
I ate at my friends house....
spoken as a whisper
heard like a sentance
echoing in her mind over and over again,
along with that word, all the words,
FAT!!!!!!
ugy, anoying, stupid, fake, worthless, nothing...
one bite she would say
rocking back and forth
craving nothing but food
her body racked with hunger pain
one bite and there she was again
FAT!
over and over and over again
back to a toothbrush
this time she sees blood
she saw her ribs
she saw her bones,
it wasnt good enough,
she almost died, again....
choking on this deep dissappointment in herself,
gaging on everything they where pushing down her throat, 
their words, and their insults, their criticism.... their drugs
all shoved down her throat like candy
and just as she was was trained to do she swallowed despite the bad taste
or the hurt
or the fact that at the rate she was going she would be dead soon...
and you know why? 
because daddy yelled 
and couldnt accept what was happening
not because he wanted to hurt her
but because it hurt him,
and she let him believe,
because she could take the hurt if it meant he didnt have too.
because mommy didnt want to sit in her room all day
smoking weed
doing nothing,
practically having us raise ourselves,
she didnt mean to take anger, or frustration or hurt out on her daughter
she suffered everyday in her solitary confinement,
and from a young age she accepted her bedroom was the cage
 her mother had created for herself.
because sister didnt want to effect her the way she did
she was just frustrated
fed up with the way things where
scared, she needed someone to take her cruelty
and to help heal her pain...
because people in school
who where so cruel
had to have learned from somewhere
and she wasnt going to play into their games,
and they knew she was an easy target
because she would never attack someone so weak
and she accepted her suffering was a sacrafice
to help all these people....
to help her dad,
her mom,
her sister,
every person who was beaten abused or hurt
 and felt so weak at home they wanted to feel strong in the one safe place they had.
because depite the fact she had died inside,
and almost passed away on the out,
it was a saccrafice she was willing to make
so that no one else would have to feel that kind of pain,
and they all inflicted it and broke her down'untill there was nothing left but a shell
of somthing that could have been
and never had the chance
and why? 
because she would take it and wouldnt strike back,
because sometimes "just taking it"
isnt so much about the weakness not to do anything
but about the strangth not to hurt others the way they hurt you...


Details | Free verse | |

Shifting Sands -Rambling Poet-

Shifting Sands,  ( A Collaboration Constance ~Rambling Poet )


by~ CONSTANCE 

And in this dream . . . I am lost in endless sand . . . 

Where clouds rise and disappear
A land of shifting and sultry heat
Where the ground ripples like waves at sea . . . 

Magical, mysterious and mirage filled
It stretches to the horizon and beyond
The wind blows my white gown like wings
My veil falls to reveal long black hair, billowing  . . .

I watch him coming over the yellow sand
His Arabian horse galloping . . . 

I am breathless with my love for him
No sound can be heard but that wind thundering
And the sand shifting . . . 


Part 2

And in this dream .. .  I am, still lost, in endless sand . . . 

Falling, endlessly
Into his Arabian eyes, I float
My feet interlocking with the shifting sand 
This dream, I managed to catch
From the dream catcher's arms  . . . 

I wrap myself, in a blanket of yellow sand
Refusing, to open my eyelids
To the Universal Consciousness of morning light . . . 

I swim the river, I sink in the quick sand
I hold on tight to this mirage 
A place where, I create 
Whatever future and destiny, I desire . . . 

In this dream, I walk across the sands
In the dead of night  
I am here, my mind, so far, lost .
Counting every breath, I reach out to touch his hand . . . 

We gallop across the shifting sands
Nestled beside him, my head pressed against his chest
In this dream, my eyes are closed tight
I only see the shifting horizon, over and over
A million times and a million times, again



A Collaboration with *Constance A Rambling Poet

~MY COLLABORATION CONTEST~


Details | Free verse | |

Stale Mate

We are nothing but simple pawns.
We’re Pushed around by others it’s oh so wrong.
I look around with my eyes wide open.
All I see is humanity choking.
We are all lost destroying humanity.
The way we live is twisted insanity.
Let’s try something for a minute and turn to a friend.
Try asking, how have you been?
Or when they respond lets actually listen.
Its friendship and love we’re tragically missing.
Why must we be in a stale mate?
Stop what where doing and lose all the hate.
Let’s find ourselves we’ve been lost a while.
Its imperative we do this life’s not so vile.
We are all humans and all of us feel.
It’s simple, respect and everyone heals.


Details | Free verse | |

Follow that rainbow

Life is possibility
there are broad horizons out there for us all if only we will look 
If children don’t succeed they try again or try something else – 
life is about finding who we are, what our purpose is, and where our talents lay… 
Just because we are not happy with something now 
does not mean tomorrow will not bring brighter horizons

Get out and follow the rainbow of opportunity
its spectrum of options are numerous in number and variety
Look top your heart and minds desires and work with it
A potter will work with a piece of clay, take it and mold it
Squash it, slip it, turn - carve - colour - glaze and cook it
In attempt to master the minds perfection

We do not always get it right
but there is little that cannot be scrapped and redone
before too far down the path and then re-do
There is nothing to say if we become lost to our first desires
that in looking for others we shall not find where we should be at
or what it is we should be doing

Too many of yester-years children have grown up 
to thinking they have no place within our society
they have become lost to lack of jobs
they are skilled and talented in own direction
as humans they bring chance to our world with new skills
those that are being lost through continual rejection

Each of us has personal pot of gold to find
not always is this financial but one that makes us feel needed
Each of us should be encouraging 
so many live miles from home families divided miles apart
Community is individuality here and yet we need pull back together
for in doing so we will know each others needs to support

When the efforts of others become unrecognised
We can lose that which is vital to having the skills needed
for tomorrow or future years
Pulling together now and offering needed skills to fit in
An hour or two’s experience in an alternatve can keep us in touch with one another
I was always taught that none of us know what will happen to us in years ahead
Sowing seeds now could help us grow or keep us going then

Think twice because times are changing
Those latter years of our lives could perhaps see us working retirements
With those we helped along the way over us instead
Teach them what you know and they’ll remember
Maybe helping you in your struggles or perhaps retraining
Karma comes around as it goes around, make yours good!


Details | Free verse | |

Glisten in the Moonlight

Your glorious emerald eyes 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Delight dances in the water
I watch it joyfully
You are set free from the cage...
You're like a dove soaring in the sky
You are the rain...
drizzling down in ecstasy 
A hint of ecstasy is shown in your reflection...
When you caress me... I'm relieved... 
From the stress that forced me in chains
I knew we'd be on the brighter side of tomorrow 
We're glistening in the moonlight 
I knew we'd become candles in the heavens above us
We're glistening in the moonlight
For a moment, I felt your presence...your radiant with sympathy 
I saw at first glance the dark side of you
Tonight, we'll be together and fly through the horizon 
We'll watch the sunset say its last goodbye...
We'll wave a greeting at the moon! 
We glisten in the moonlight...
What if I was as handsome as the lion...
Roaring with pride and pure courage
What if we were glistening in the moonlight?
Would it bring health to our bones tonight?
Would it make our heart rejoice and overflow with delight?
Would we be able to survive this horrifying plight?
Would we be shimmering like a candlelight?
We're glistening in the moonlight... (6)
Ohh...yeah...ooh yeah...ooh yeahh...
We reach to the stars and hope we can trace a shooting star
I feel the coolness run down my fingers...
We're glistening in the moonlight
You're the dandelions in the fields
You're the gorgeous view that I marvel at everyday
When you kiss me, I live my dreams
We glisten in the moonlight
In a quick moment, I sense a feeling of endless renewal 
I roam inside of your illuminating maze 
Glow on... sunshine... 
Glow on...sunshine...
Glisten in the moonlight...
Listen to the truth and rub it in
You are ravishing like the sunset
But you're ascending while I'm descending
I feel extremely guilty
I wish I could glisten with you in the moonlight
You're glistening in the moonlight (6) 
Ohhh yeahh... oohhh yeahh... ohh yeahh
You're glistening in the moonlight (4)
We go our own way
I wish we can glisten like the moon
Glisten like the sun 
There's a dream concealed inside of me...
Reveal your light and pour it upon me
You glisten in the appealing moonlight
While I'm subsiding... you're fulfilling your dreams
Of gliding across the horizon 
You're independence... keeps on scorching with satisfaction
While I'm below you... 
Your emerald green eyes
Stared me down like a hawk...
Your emerald eyes
Gaze down at me genuinely...
I wish we could flee together in reality...
That could be a possibility
To glisten in the moonlight in glee
We were glistening in the moonlight (3)
But that was only a dream...
I'll pray that it turns into a reality
We were glistening in the moonlight 
Now, I've misplaced my delight...
Will I ever experience such a brilliant night?


Details | Free verse | |

Black Gold

Through the valleys of fear
Roaring thunder from guns echoes
Squeezes itself out to the open meadows
Floodgates of heaven opens
Watering the wounded soldiers` feverish body
Human bloodshed colors the green grass red

Fighting to get to the Black Gold
Another poor country's back bone broken
Another dictator making a fortune
Who cares if thousands of his own people gets tortured
slaugthered,or beaten to death..?
Mr.Dictator: We`ll keep our mouth shut,if you just give us your Black Gold
My leader sends me out with a gun in my hand
Maybe am lucky enough,to come home in a wheelchair or with a lost sanity
In exchange for shitty oil money..I get post-traumatic stress

My leaders would pay dictators billions of dollars
But due to budget deficit,they wont pay for the healing of my lost body and thoughts
In the name of Freedom and Democray
We will fight to get your Black Gold
My leaders:..You are such a bunch of bullies!


Estimated price spent on Iraq war: $ 3 Trillion..
How many recessions could those figures paid off..?
After paying your war with my health
You return the favor by throwing famillies into yet another recession
My leaders,shame on You..You`re such a bunch of bullies!

A.Ertsland
September 1st 2012

* Check out the website "costofwar.com" 


Details | Free verse | |

ON CREEPY HILL

In a far away secluded place
There’s a hill known for its beauty
But lies a secret that finally revealed
Its haunted, its creepy… wants to know the story?

There were five 4th graders
Joined in the field demonstration in school
They needed fine branches to form a shape
That hill they choose because it’s the nearest
And decided to go there before the sunset

The distance is one kilometer so they walked happily
Before going up to the hill they’ve felt uneasy
Because once they heard that at the top lies a dead body
But they still continue their journey anyway
And saw a wrecked bamboo hut was empty

Going further inside the creepy hill
One girl was beaten by some sticky spider
Everybody were afraid and shouted 
They also heard people laughing at the end

The 4th graders looked at each other and wondering
What they were doing at six in the evening at the wrecked hut?
Three people, two pretty women and one handsome man
Wearing white and seated on a dirty and old bench
They looked enchanting but the children were afraid 

When three people looked at the children they smiled and asked;
“What are you doing here? Its’ getting dark, you’ve supposed to go home”
Shocked for the question they didn’t answer but run as fast as they can
One girl lost her slipper while going down on the hill so she cried hard
They keep on running even if their feet were tired…they were so scared	
The voices were still echoed in the air as they keep running

When they reached home, all of them told the shocking story
Their parents confirmed that hill is haunted for many years already
It’s the city of unknown people because they heard it many times
The children were chilled by the news and wailed 

The five 4th graders never attempted to go there for more than 30 years
But the experienced they truly can’t forget for the rest of their lives
Its Halloween month at that time and its Halloween night indeed
No trick and treats, no pumpkin, no costume but a real experience
The people leaving there know the story and nobody dare to go up
How about you? Want to try to go to the creepy hill too?



Date written: September 5, 2012

Note: the girl who lost her slipper was ME 






Details | Free verse | |

The River Of Life

They walked together side by side -
the old man and the boy
on the bridge across the river
They could have walked thus 
across the river of life
with its eternal flow
I watched them
and thoughts filled my mind
of the un-bridged gap
between their lives

The old man -
with faltering step
he moves slowly on
His life has  been lived
and his house is in order
as he patiently awaits
the call of his maker
What are his thoughts 
at this moment 
as he moves on?

Are they thoughts of pain and sorrow
over some incident in the past
so difficult to bear
that after all these years
the wound is not yet healed?

Are they of someone he loved as a youth
but lost through folly?
Was she beautiful?
Did her eyes sparkle 
like the sunlight 
on the water below?
He looks at the water
sighing deeply
and nods his head

Or is he thinking of the young one at his side
so innocent
so pure
soon to be plunged into a world 
where life rushes madly on?
How shall he fare?
Who will warn him of the pitfalls?

These thoughts plague the old man's mind
and hurt his noble heart
But then he smiles as he remembers
that in his younger days
his eager spirit wanted to taste and feel
the sting of life's joys and sorrows 
by itself

There is no substitute for experience
for though we know we may be hurt
in love or life
yet we walk on toward the very thing
that may hurt us so


Details | Free verse | |

My Spiritual Journey, I'm Still Roaming

I grew up physically abused,
with only grandma to hold on to.
I was a frail child confined,
and couldn't understand the pain I was going through.
I roamed!

In my teenage years,
I was rebellious and out of control.
Emotional scars were souvenirs,
and I felt I lost my soul!
I roamed!

Down a long dark path,
I thought my spiritual journey would end.
Listening to a demonic laugh,
I found myself in prison with no friend!
I roamed!

I cried out to God for an answer,
for the death of my grandma was too much!
Spiritual pain ate me away like cancer,
and I felt God had just lost touch!
I roamed!

Down that dark tunnel of tribulation,
I began to see a spark of light.
I continued forward with determination,
with a stronger spiritual appetite!
I roamed!

Inside behind these evil walls,
I constantly fed my hungry mind.
At times I felt so small,
but mentally I was no longer confused!
I roamed!

I was once weak and frail,
and attempted suicide with a knife.
I fought my way out of hell,
because I now valued my life!
I roamed!

My journey began so long ago,
and the strength of my heart continues on.
I survived a spiritual TKO,
emotional scars remain, but insecurities are gone!!
I still continue to roam!


Written for Drake Eszes contest "I, roam"


Details | Free verse | |

My Future Generation

I can act insane
But DO NOT 
Make me feel worthless

I belong in God’s family
He will bless my future generation

Don’t punish me for
Being myself –
Don’t envy my glee 

I can act like an
Adult, but I’d 
Prefer to have joy…

Not stress…
That piles upon us in our 
Everyday lives

Being childlike is

A rare beauty – 

No one prizes it…

No one came across it…

In this lifetime…

I can laugh all day
I can make you smile
If you’d accept my 
Childlike dreams of mine
Don’t treat me like a sick swine

Renew my young heart
Give me the ability 
To kill the old man…

I have my place in God’s family
He’ll be adored and glorified 
We’ll exchange prayers and hugs  
By my future generation

I beg of you – 
Don’t kill my childlike mentality
I’ll behave myself…
I’m positively sure that I’ll make you happy

I’ll still have pieces of a child in me

And pass it on to my future generation…


Details | Free verse | |

Rain, The Story 2 of 3

Entry submitted in honor of - Constance ~ A Rambling Poet ~


Rain, The Story  2 / 3		


In those beautiful moments, what she was feeling
Was only an illusion of Aiden, created by her blessed horse Past,
She was aware that she had only few more such moments,
To enjoy the pleasures of Aiden’s company and  
To get completely melt and lost, 
In the lovely soothing, enfolds and embraces of Aiden. 

She felt, while in the arms of her princely love, Aiden, 
As if, the entire universe was flying and dancing and
A soft melody was flowing in the air, 
Making her to feel,  the ecstasies of joys and pains.

The illusion was touching her mind and heart and it was
Filling her with the sensations of an unusual lore.
The sensations she felt, in the arms of her love  
Was beyond her imagination and perhaps,
It cannot be described in words.

She cried in an ecstasy of joy and mirth and closed her eyes,
So that her Love may not get lost, when she returns,
From the enchanting world of her dear Past.

She was trying to grasp every image of joys, 
As if, she was blessed to preserve these serene moments, 
Given by her lost love Aiden, who was standing right before Rain, although,
Rain had lost her love Aiden, many years back, 
When he went in a battle and became a martyr for a great cause.

Suddenly she felt the warmth of a touch, 
Close to her lovely hairs and neck,  given by her darling horse.
Past appeared to be saying to her,  to come back
From the depths of his eyes,  into the normal world of life.

She slowly opened her eyes and found,
The alluring images of her love were over, 
Only Horse Past and Future were standing very close to her, and 
Her horse Past was saying in his own language, 
She should now wake-up from the dreams of her love.

She was aware that her horses were blessed to create only illusions, 
For a very short period.  
Past knew that after some moments,  
His powers to create the illusions would not work and before that,
Past wanted Rain to return in her normal world.

Horse Past silently told her by his expressions,  
It is now time to come back, 
Into the world of the realities of Life.

Even in his silent language Past appeared to be conveying, that  
Rain should find a new Love, 
Instead of searching her future, in the lost and bygone days of her past.

Ravindra

Concluded in part 03

Contest entry:       For this contest only
Contest Name:       Rain, The Story
Sponsored by:        Constance ~ A Rambling Poet ~
Written by:	       Ravindra K Kapoor



Details | Free verse | |

Who

I am one breathtaking moment
I am one who is lost or alone
I am one raindrop, or one flowering rose
I am a distant star or a meadow lark
Or one dark cloud that hovers on the horizon
I am many memories from a long ago childhood
I am many tears and sorrows
I am many rainbows and many seasons
I am many reasons to sing a love song
Or tell a story, or share the laughter, or feel the glory
I am all the colors of our world
I am a disappointment, I am a  pearl
I am all races, all creeds, the scattering of seeds
I am all words unfurled into the light
I am all the broken hearts and hopes lost in the night
I am all the hurt, all the anger, all the joy, all the love
I am all who believe in God above
I am all who doubt
I am all who laugh, and sing, and wail and shout
I am unleashed, wild emotion
I am heartache, and devotion
I am lay stepping stones to healing
I renew by sharing feelings
I am a few unbroken rules, a few enchanting jewels
I am the ember, I am the spark
I am a poet.........I have a heart

I am a mother, I am a wife
The reasons for living, the loves of my life


Details | Free verse | |

The Death of Yin and Yang

Collaborative Chinese water torture
Dropping fickle whispers

Their foreheads pound with belittled grief.

Egyptian cotton tissues,
Coated in fresh aloe and waxy resolutions,
Torn asunder

Idyllic sonatas
Heaving identity crisis under bus,
One
Note
Off

An exacerbated syllable
Pleasing vultures
Who speak louder than anonymity’s slur

Befuddled visions
Damning clarity upon equator of serenity

Stalking Information Superhighways,
A glorified game of telephone

Where declared verbiage,
Set in Swedish Hot Stones,
Is STILL misunderstood!

Filtered!

Tainted!

Stoking ill-advised dreams
Stroking tact with leavened paper cuts

S	h	r	e	d	d	i	n	g 
yesterdays

Whiplashes against horizons’ symphonies
Choking lyric of March
These hands showed you epiphany lights
Now 2nd face, abandons restitution in onyx dark 

…

With their one last cry,
One
Last 
Spoken Cry

“Instead of reading our words,
My child,
You should simply open your eyes.”

(Fade to white)

©Drake J. Eszes


Details | Free verse | |

MIRROR MIRROR

Mirrror, mirror and the wall, 
who is the biggest clown in the world.
The lost soul in a fantasy
where the games brings you into a state of passion and pain, 
which eventually will drive you insane.
She is affected by the perfect outer everybody wants.
Who is the perfect bimbo on the red carpet and the catwalk.
Behind her mask, 
who is this "role model girlfriend" that she wants to be alike.
Who is she, tell her!
The world is created in an illusion of the perfect exterior, 
creating fear of being different, 
or not to be like the "other woman" on the catwalk, 
with the false appearance created by others.
Don't walk alone, and hide your skin and bones, 
can see her on the screen, do hear her scream? 
She is the one being pushed and change to the clown, 
but inside, the clown is dead, 
the laughter is gone, behind this mask,
she is only human, a person who feels like you and me, 
it's the masqueradeball.
She feels like the fool lost of the game.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the biggest clown in the world, 
what about to morrow, when the dream becomes reality?


Details | Free verse | |

LOST and LONELY A MESSAGE TO MY SOUPER FRIENDS

                  


             Last year was a hard year with 
             alot of bumps in the road.I have
             missed all my souper friends.
             Last April my father,uncle,were
             diagnosed with cancer.They are
             brothers and they found out on
             the same day.I didn't take it well
             and got mad and punched a steel
             beam.I have paid for it ever since.
             My father lost his fight and passed
             away July 30,11.I had to have 3
             surgeries in august on my hand.It
             got a staph infection and was in the
             hospital for 2 weeks and a nursing
             facility for 48 days on IV antibiotics.
             After my dad passed I felt like my
             life was no longer worth living.
             Now I feel I should end my life.
             The date I have chosen is near. I
             hope you all do well on your poetry
             writing.There are a few people on this
             site,you know who you are,I want to
             thank you for everything you have 
             done to help.
             Now I am lost and lonely and ready
             for peace.I hope my poetry legend
             will live on.


Details | Free verse | |

It's Time!

Rebel! My children, rebel! For the light 
Of day scours for a system not built,
But saved from the souls of politicians
Who are lost and will never seem to find
A means to a decision, instead delay
The growth of a nation desperate for change!

Rebel! My children, rebel! Against the
Same, sorry scene captured on TV! 
Pundits protesting every agenda 
From the Left and the Right, what’s the purpose?
To show me they can battle politics!
Battle this! My mom just lost her house!

Rebel! My children, rebel! How hard is
It to cross a line?  Or aisle?  What if
On the other side was your love in need?
Put your pride away, just for awhile,
Just to see the difference that could form.
If not for me, do it for my children’s fate.

Rebel! My children, rebel! America 
Is just not a name, but a foundation
Made by the people and for the people!
And we deserve so much more than a 
Filibuster to take our nation’s name.
Let the light see the dawn of a new day!


Details | Free verse | |

Ground of Formless Realities - Ground Zero

Ground of Formless Realities
Ground Zero

AN APPEAL TO MAKE IT ONLY A GANDEN OF GOD- A PLACE OF PEACE
AND NON-VIOLENCE ONLY.


( The poem is dedicated to all those who lost their precious lives on 9/11)


My heart aches and emotions start bleeding

Remembering the pain and agonies of those

Who lost their lives, while we all remained watching only?

Cursing the helplessness, that we 

Could not do any thing to save 

A life, a tear from eyes of mothers and wives;

Brothers, sisters and lovers or beloveds.

Or the dear ones, who were there, just inside. 


The disaster was happening, right 

Before our eyes full of tears.  

The glaring fact of brutal and unforgivable deed

Tearing apart its people hearts in pieces and a nation’s pride 

Had moved the entire world except those

Who believe in the faith of violence and misdeeds?


Let us keep now that place ‘Ground Zero’

A place of Peace and Non violence

Where kindness and love can be seen in every branches and trees

Where Nature may exists in its serene beauty and coolness

Let there be no bricks and walls 

No pits and falls  

And no sound of any kind except the 

Sound of kindness and love and the music of nature

Which we can hear coming from birds and flowers

From plants and trees and water running streams.

Let us make it a Garden of God.,

In the memory of those who lost their lives

And kept their nation’s pride high.


Ravindra

Kanpur India 10th Sept. 2010

DEDICATION: The Poem is dedicated to 
all my fellow Americans. 
And this dedication is not only from me
but from all the peace loving people of India. 
We are with you in the hour of your grief. 
Ravindra 


Details | Free verse | |

Love And Pricks

I Love the elderly so full of history I love my generation who kept me a mystery I love the children who's future, now bright for I have died for them to capture the light for i understand pain more than ever once I released it the anger got better as it went away from the people and into my music without a single reason to prove it without a reason to let Love's light in I didn't, it found me and lesser I sin God and my father both let me know it would all be okay so very long ago even tho the road would be full of pricks even back then I'd tell them you can all suck my dick. -Bj Fard


Details | Free verse | |

Mind Bender

I try to bend my mind around a straight line.
Pondering the lies imbedded in yesterdays truths.
False prophets, masquerading on wisdoms mountain.
"come taste our wares"
I become intoxicated on prides pie.
Tasting success's exstinction.
Lives forsaken,
sacrificed on alters of progress.
Beads of glass breaking in upturned palms
whispers from the fallen,
not allowed to cry out.
The language of their ancestors,
silenced, 
erased.
What's left?
Is there any trace?

Oil drips along insanities highway.
Multitudes traveling gleefully in the passing lane,
destination... nowhere fast.
munching on fastfood promises
Heading towards a toothpick bridge,
trusting facades of solidity.
Smiling plastic smiles.
Turning the radio dial,
tuned to stations extolling self pride.
God complex.
"All things are possible if I believe in me!"
Living the dream,
suspended within stupidity.
Unable to bend twisted minds.
Failing to seek the straight and narrow path.
The end of us,
no muss, no fuss.
Time stands still.
Momentary pause.
The earth waits, 
catches it's breath.
Abrahams Father, 
presses restart...



Details | Free verse | |

Thoughts of You

Random thoughts of you run
randomly throughout my mind,
as I hold, looking through a simple picture of you and I,
smiles and holding each other,
embracing warmth brings me to sanity,
watching your hand on my forearm,
as you gaze into my eyes.
Oh the tears flood such emotion,
only you and I now in such madness we call love,
such madness we all call life,
such madness we all call reality.

Thoughts of me without you,
I cannot bear to see such a sight in mind,
to hear such words that tear my heart out
and sadness stabs me rapidly in the back,
and I can't bear to see such a sight as this.
Thoughts of you
running randomly throughout my mind,
my hair turns silver and white with stress
of not being with you,
and my liver covered with cancer,
and lungs black with smoke,
and stomach embraced with ulcers.

All I ask for you,
is not to be a thought anymore,
and come back to me in flesh and bone
in a portrait painting of you in reality
come to me with your beauty and glory
and kind heart and hold me again,
and let me kiss you again and love you again,
and call you mine again.
Don't say it is impossible,
when you know and I know,
that it is in fact possible
to love each other once again.


Details | Free verse | |

The Waves Keep on Crashing

How do you explain the feeling
Words seem so inadequate
The waves keep on crashing
Pulsating waves of pleasure
You told me you lost count

Everything feels hot
Tension builds
Pleasure builds
Sensation sharpens and isolates
Your feet are rigid, your toes pointed

You grasp the sheets, tightly
You pull my hair
Screaming sensual lyrics
Reciting erotic prose
It is meant for my ears only

You're over the edge
It feels like you're falling
The waves keep on crashing
Pulsating waves of pleasure
Followed by an exquisite sensation

You look into my eyes
Clutching tightly, grasping
Your breathing is shallow
Your mouth is dry
You feel a tingling sensation

Words seem so inadequate
The look on your face tells me
You've lost count
We're in uncharted territory
Your leg is trembling

You look in my eyes
Shout my name, quietly
You tell me you love me
The waves keep on crashing
Pulsating waves of pleasure

You tell me you've lost count
Confused contentment
You want more
Your leg is trembling, shaking
Suddenly it's over, simultaneously

~Rick Berry  


Details | Free verse | |

Don't Try It

A single kiss from thy lovely lips,
so sweet and so divine,
yet I taste posion upon your tongue.

Your beauty so glorious,
like a blooming rose so beautiful,
yet, why do mine eyes go blind
in the sight that you walk along with another?

Yes you, walk with another,
arm under arm,
lips touching lips in romantic kisses,
it makes my blood boil,
for mine lips are dry.

For mine eyes have seen your glory,
yet no one here listens to my story.
You are evil, yes you are,
don't try to deny,
Listen to a man of experience,
you might as well save some expense.

I write of our long romantic walks
we took together, under the shade of olive trees,
how we went apple picking in autumn time,
and made love in the foyer.

Nomore of that sweet and passionate love,
nomore silent kisses in the night,
when the wind blows hard against the branches,
that tape violently on my windowpane. 
Nomore somber tears shed, when you got sick,
and nomore warm embraces when you shed tears of betrayal.

Betrayal now is a game played by a fool,
such as I,
to think I'd have a happy life with you?
Huh, only a fool would think such a thing,
but now I sit, looking at the foyer,
where we once made sweet, passionate love,
nomore will that foyer be filled with exotic pleasure.
Nomore will you be filled with smiles and exotic pleasure.
I've done my job, as a good man shall do,
now pack your things and get of my stage,
the spotlight yawns for anew,
and the audience grows tired and restless of you.

Now I live life anew,
you too shall see life in new eyes,
walking hand and hand with the blond, blue eyed devil
you call your own.
Shall he take one kiss from your lips,
and die of the posion he tastes on your tongue,
shall he go blind, when he sees your true, black beauty?
He will see the ugly soul, covered up by white rags,
and cheap makeup,
and then he will come to me,
and shake my hand in condolence
and say, "You were right!"

Now you are all alone,
looking for another, as you did many times before,
Now you are alone, walking an open road,
spying on another,
fear of being alone.
Now, you see when you play games with a good man's emotions,
don't try it,
because a good man is not meant to be toyed with.


Details | Free verse | |

Freedom Reigns

"'Cause when your back's against the wall
That's when you show no fear at all
And when you're running out of time
That's when you hitch your star to mine
We won't be leaving by the same road that we came by"

~Keane - My Shadow Lyrics ~

------------------------------------------------------------ There is no celestial place for you to guide my thoughts Can you not see that I am free from you? I am a black bird perched high in the treetops You will hear my crowing and you may hate it But my dear, you cannot take away my voice! Yet still, as fire oppresses forests of life, You can abuse my freedom to find your glory You may discard these words for your love of gods, And in so doing you may simply ignore All the cries that I so passionately utter But my infectious species will guide your mind straight back To that once so lonely treetop where you merely glanced And there will be multitudinous, oppressing thoughts That shall enslave you and bind you unwillingly The crows will only grow louder when you turn away— When you pretend to ignore with your remaining, strangling pride For my voice is a production sent from above Dispatched to judge you pitilessly for your swelling lies! And the choirs of ferocious beaks shall open forever Harmony and dissonance as one


Details | Free verse | |

Words of Life

Drowning in the pool of anguish…oh…oh…
I’m venturing into the forest…and I want to hear the words seep out 
Release these aching sorrows…I worry my soul’s drying out…
like a drought…
Drain out the fluids from my heart
It’s gouging me…bruising me to the core…

**chorus** 
Embrace the light…embrace the midnight sky…
You fall in my arms – you die so warm
Shed me more sun to lift up my spirits
From the…underground…and release me – I’m breathless
I’m drowning in doubt…ooh… oh… 


Remember me…I’m falling…into my swirling fate…hanging on the roots 
Strangling my heart…distorting in my veins… I’m bleeding so softly – cut out the wood…
Splintering me…I’m shattering… and I’m falling in the abyss
Bring me more radiance from my candle light
Warp me up in bliss…don’t let the midnight sky…don’t take away my delight
From the…ocean…and save me—save me…oh… oh…  I’m failing 

*chorus*

I’m drowning in regret…ooh..oh…
Hit the bull’s eye in my heart…embrace the light
And don’t leave me hanging in the abyss…hand me a kite!
Save me before I fall apart…shut out the night
And don’t let the dusk escape us…

I must confess…
I must confess…
I hate to see you abandon the light…
But I’m not the one to save you from the night
Ooh…ohh…

*Chorus* 

Splintering lies fill your heart 
I want to kiss it goodbye…
But you’ve mastered it like a piece of art
I want to kiss the abyss and die…
Dry… I wanna touch the sky with my whole soul
But I’m failing and the end of time has taken its toll
Tainted sorrow…swims around me…I dwell where the waters depart
But the anguish still swarms in my heart…
I’m failing…my heart stops beating
And my desires are fleeting
From my grasp
And the monsters laugh at me…as I fall… 

*chorus*

Embrace the midnight sky…catch me…catch me…
As I fall in death’s arms…I die so cold
And your heart is made of gold

Untangle the darkness & take away the nightmares 
Answer our prayers & block out the night 
Erase the heartaches & wipe away our tears
Unravel Your words of life & delight


Details | Free verse | |

Everyday

I know what those pictures are for
That you change around almost every day
You know that I've built a house of my own
You know that I've blocked the sun
I've lost the will to burn myself
I've lost the will to walk
But, 
still there's a part of me that searches you
Almost everyday
Just to look at that pictures 
That you change around almost every day


I know what those pictures are for
I know what do you want

Even though the wind has blown away 
The last dried leaf of hope that I had
You know what I'm made off
You know what I live off

You know me more that I ever should have let you
And I love you more than you ever should have let me
And there's nothing I can do
So can't you

But If the heart ever silently speaks to you
Of the pain that I endure when I have to see
The guy who's holding you 
Almost everyday
But you know that 
No matter what I will
Do what you want me to do 
Almost everyday 

Just to look at that pictures 
That you change around almost every day


Details | Free verse | |

A Low Church


“All war is a deception”

The day was chilly and dark
Low clouds hung over the sun
A low church stood a silent witness
To the raging sea and surf
Past its bent arch, darkness reigned
A candle lit slowly by the priest.
One by one the faces come to light.
Amused bronze. Smiling stone. Unsurprised.
For a time the length of that candle
gesture after gesture revives and dies.
Stance after lost stance is found
and lost again.
Who was that, you ask.
The saviour, the son, the priest replies.
A sceptic candle coughs.
I count the angels on the wall
And mother Mary’s soft tears
As all around the war rages
You come out in the dark sun
And find the children playing the game of death

24/09/2011

By Tahera Mannan

For constance’s “The Church by the ocean” contest


Details | Free verse | |

My Gift

Meddlesome acknowledgement was my gift to many
I wondered where the nutrients were coming from
I was absorbing your words, parched by my own dimming light-years
There I was stunned by the legion of black-faced martyrs

Exasperation of the undeniable misunderstanding of every conceivable word 
Left me with another path onto death
And not nearly dying, but regenerating in technological, factorial woe
Demon thoughts squeezed bile from the brim of subconscious drivel  
Accelerating the ghouls from the gull of my esophagus 

I was held down from the dreams of the fortnight
From words of architecture ascending from the brims of the archangels 
Eyes remained closed
And I felt the actual descent of my downfall
I did not open my eyes at all

I did not mean to pry into your life, oh beautiful soul
Please accept my gift today
My fierce gaze into your lavishing grail
Led me to accept and love where I often fail
I am no longer smothered in your intricate designs
Though I am surely small to you
Though I feel only a fraction of a fool
I am the hidden spark under the timbers of lies

I am the hidden spark under the timbers of lies


Details | Free verse | |

Night

If you would only look out, 
you would see the star-studded sky and a 
swooning sickle moon, and down below 
a fleet of quiet snails sailing gently over 
lawns scented with newly cut grass. 

You might glimpse the ugly awkward 
gait of a dishevelled fox, trotting across 
a road that had lost its cars by midnight 
to the garages of suburbia; and perhaps 
spot a motionless hedgehog sleeping 
soundly beneath its mattress of bristles. 

If you would just open up your ears 
to the night outside, you might hear 
the howling owl in the primary school wood, and 
the on-the-hour Swiss cuckoo-clock over 
at Number Eight crying out, absurdly, for urgency, 
through an opened window. 

You would hear cats wauling 
and hear the swish of bats in the thick 
dark air, hear the wind softly turning the 
leaves of trees in search of only the wind 
knows what, and perhaps hear the tide, 
which sighs through the night from far 
away to someone, somewhere. 

But you won’t. You are lost in the night 
within, that deepest darkness where no 
stars shine, no moon lies recumbent, 
a birdless night shunned by animals, too, 
a night without roads, without lamps, 
a nightless night on the edge of death. 
 

 


Details | Free verse | |

Memories and Past Lives

Last night my sister died
One week before the Winter Solstice.
My father was worried about her jewelry.
He, one of my other sisters and me,
went to the hospital because he wanted
the three rings frozen on her fingers.

The rings like the circle of life
may have powers to bring her back.

They were taken from another dead women
her mother who died more than one year.

My father would  not leave the emergency
room until he got those rings.

The woman helping him
was too nervous to enter the morgue.
But like Nephthys she went in the underworld
Cold dark place where my sister's body
lay in state.

My father blamed himself
for not taking the rings off
when she died.

But when he like Osiris
was given two rings by a women.
He was the ringmaster of a three ring circus.
He came to life, he was clowning, telling jokes.
Maybe the rings have the power to bring back life.

At her funeral there she lay in state,
no rings,
no life,
cold and still dead.

My father was wearing ten rings,
crying maybe cause he lost his powers.
Like Cronus his eldest son was a no show.
One drunkard said my father's daughter died in his arms,

Or  maybe the rings have lost their power to
bring back the beloved dead.








Details | Free verse | |

The Illusion of Knowledge

This quaint perspective
Is quite selective,
Quite often, 
Giving anger and hatred the directive.

Habitual surrender 
To a pretender;
In certain circles an offender.
These days, too few of these circles exist,
However, those that understand have to persist,
Faith in humanity;
Most would claim insanity.
The vanity this illusion can incarnate,
Darkness; 
At its inception….. 
Is easier propalgate.
Although, logic would convey 
That if the shadows are to stay;
Benevolent beings would conceal their existence;
Understanding that underground persistence,
Ever a mental resistance
Is much more fruitful than none at all.

Who would make that call?

The Trickster manipulates the darkness inside;
Intangible yet effective; 
One of the most dangerous – Pride.
When Young in this existence,
Lessons are forced upon you with much persistence;
Laws and rules constantly applied.
As your understanding develops,
Persistant ruling laws lavishly supplied.
Tragedy envelops.

Your mind has been trained to react 
This is a fact.
Trained by who?
Do any of us have a clue?

This system and society systematically commits injustices day after day;
Human stomachs meandering in dismay,
Why do restaurants throw their excess away?
When you are warm in every way,
Another`s feet is constantly in the way,
Of those walking to the bay,
On the walk-way.

We have been trained to accept;
Un-accept.

Once you begin to think for yourself,
Not believe everything, hoping its wealth.
You realise how little of nothing you comprehend,
To most, this thought would offend.

Why?

Most cannot appreciate with which they do not identify.
Our reactions are usually to fear the unknown.

Why?

Do you not remember that through the unknown
Many mountains and hills have never over-grown.

When you are fearful,
Controlling you is effortless.
Knowledge is to be gained for the purpose of gaining knowledge;
For no other.
The want to control and have power;
Might come in and pretend to be your brother.

The illusion of knowledge,
The Global College.
Its lessons are taught 24 hours a day;
Switch on the TV and you on your way.

Ponder upon who controls the media,
They control what you see on the tube.
Trust me; you do not need an encyclopedia.

Most assume what they see on the tube to be true.
True for who?
You?
Me?
Humanity?

Acquire 
A desire
To allow insanity to be.
In an upside down world,
The truth is backwards unfurled.

Do not accept what you see or hear;
Inside we all have the ability to steer.

However, the difference between the truth and lies
Is never ending as the blue skies.
Yet most cannot discern
The vast difference.
Fact.
It seems in every sense,
Most would be as blind as a bat.

The Knowledge of illusion
Systematically habitual, certainly will cause a contusion.
Be weary of knowledge,
Un-truths can easily be purported as truths


Details | Free verse | |

Priceless Grant

The moment I woke up 
Tiredness granted me Good morning 
With all the strength I had
I prayed what I could 
Collapsed into bed
Agonized with fever 
And throbbing stomach aches
I lied in my bed
Shaking.. 
From the cold 
Wrapping myself with rugs of clothes
Constantly feeling the urge to throw up 
Nausea covered me, surrounded me
And I waited 
It was Ramadan 
Food or water I was not allowed to have
A pill of drug or medicine I starved
But I waited
Three hours were ahead
I had no intention of wasting my fasting 
I wondered here and there
The painstaking headache pursued me
And buried me in ache 
The trash can beside me awaits
The upcoming throw up 
That didn’t arrive
In pain I lied 
The smell of food protruding from the kitchen 
Smothered me
Causing my stomach to hurt and hunger even more
To my laptop I went 
Motionless and lifeless as ever
I sat there waiting for the call 
Waiting for the call of the mosque 
Granting me the allowance to eat 
And so it did 
I stood up, shaking in my clothes 
To the kitchen I headed 
Like a lousy drunk I looked
To the food, to the water
I took my pills
I drank my juice 
No feelings of hunger conquered me
I lost my appetite
I left the table 
Dizzy and sore
I fell to the couch 
Like a mummy indoor
The feelings, the headache, the soreness 
Continued still 
I said thank God for my health 
Lying there, as my family watched
The shows ahead
Not a moment in this life
I will remember less
Because at last 
I realized the price of health
What I lost 
I remembered still 
And God 
The merciful granted me 
What he took from me
Because of a reason 
I lacked knowing yet 


Details | Free verse | |

Porn No More

I've watched the war from behind closed doors;
Eyes too glued to close.
And now knowing what's in store, there's porn no more.
God's love is the only hope we know.
We are forgiven because of the love that is Jesus.
We are saved because of the love that is Jesus.
We give our lives to the Father for we are His children and He loves us.
We are loved!
No matter what we've done, we are loved!
Confess and ask for forgiveness;
This is such a beautiful gift!
Thank You God!
Thank You Jesus!
You forgive me!
You save me!
You change me!
I am changed!
I am new!
I am renewed!
I am forgiven!
I am saved!
I am changed!
There's porn no more
For God's hope is in store!
There's porn no more
For God's love is the hope of the world!


Details | Free verse | |

Sitting Alone

Sitting alone here,
all by myself,
looking at a reflection that I do not recall.
I see a face looking back at me,
a twin,
but not my twin,
no I see a pale face,
I see jealously, pain, sorrow, and a frown
I see all the negative.
I see fear,
I see nothing.

I am sitting alone,
in my room
white walls surround me.
I hear the trains blow their horns off in the distance,
and the cars and trucks roaring down the lonesome highways.
I can even the crying and wailing of sirens
blazing down the avenues,
"Where is the fire, folks!?"

The wind blows through my window,
moving the blinds back and forth,
and I sit there alone,
smiling and singing a little.
Sitting there alone,
peaceful and tired
wanting to rest my head,
but scared too face the nightmares.
Too hear the voices of the dead
call out my name.
And I sit there alone
thinking of what once was,
beauty and harmony nomore
in my trial of certainty.


Details | Free verse | |

Cry

When stars die in the silence,
When lonely hearts are lost in the distance,
I need your hand,
I need your strength,
I need your mercy,
O Lord.

\When sadness prevail in my soul,
When stormy thoughts crash my heart,
I need your hand,
I need your solace, 
I need your persistence,
O Lord.

\When all love is lost without a trace,
When hopelessness kills a day,
I need your hand,
I need your beatitude,
I need your guidance,
O Lord.


Details | Free verse | |

Depression

Depression

3 o’clock in the morning…
The sounds of bed frames hitting drywall,
The sounds of Chopin and Coltrane played
With a hint of sadness in tone.
Sounds of whores and pimps arguing;
“Where is the money, you whore?!”
“I don’t have the money!”
A sound of a slap to the face
A big hand crushing bone,
Blood everywhere
Red streaks on white walls.
The sound of drunks walking gloomy streets,
Police and ambulance rush down burned out streets
Sirens wailing, crying out!

A child, six years old
Crying, “Momma! Momma!”
Shedding tears over his dying mother, lost her soul to the
Crack pipe.
Rest In Peace.
A sound of a .357 magnum revolver click
And a gunshot shakes the nerves of many,
And for a moment the sweet and peaceful silence.

“Dispatch, suicide on 46th street Hollywood Boulevard, Send the Corner. Over.”
Then the darkness sails over
And the entire cities are showered with tears from the heavens,
But no one weeps,
Not a single soul…

-10/2/13-


Details | Free verse | |

Exodus

October was dying, down of All Saints' Day,
yet we abandoned our dead,
and moved forward into wet snow wilderness.
Fallen city, burning ruins were our only candle
for howling winds, bare branches, pale moon,
and freezing stars made early death visitors.

All of anguish still waited.
It was slowly dying of our being,
like haunting animals we became, 
it was only once again history of lost souls,
it was hovering doubt in the sky,
and mightier than sells, inferno flakes,
silence that kills thereafter,
disguised Cain made us wonder.

It was lost and lonely, old women's able,
on crossing between abyss and mercy,
conceivably someone's grandmother,
or written off soul ready to die,
it was above all questioning heresy of trust, 
when forgiveness was our only gain.


Details | Free verse | |

Seeking Serenity

Today was both beautifully pleasant and awfully disappointing. I met a friend, and lost a friend. The sad thing in this, the friend I lost and met was the same person.
This dreadful sensation drools over me, am I that repulsive? Am I that bad in first impressions?
How is it? I am bad.. How is it? I am hated by many and by each and every person I meet. Why is it; I am hated? My intentions were always pure, my smile was always kind, my remarks and chats were always friendly. 
Then what is it that I did? That was so dreadful. What is it that I will do? To erase it? What is it that you ask of me? 
This heart of mine has gone astray. Those voices in mind have gone with no sound.
Those eyes have gone blind. To a path, to any path, they no longer see right or wrong.
Why is it; this my fate? What can possibly repay? All those odious, intolerable memories and days of mine? 
I have lived, this loathsome life of mine, with no reason, with no goals, with no dreams, sturdy patience did I own, did I so longingly lose.
I look up to the sky with tired, impassive eyes. I have waited, I have stood. But when? And where? Will I have friends much as sincere, much as comforting, much as everlasting.
I listen to the same track over and over again, with deep feelings of weariness and fatigue oozing from me; same questions, same wonders, and the same unanswered calls. 
These days, they drain me and consume me, I have nothing left, maybe its time to give up, to truly surrender. There’s nothing left and nothing will ever be the same, I want to rest now, liberate myself from all these feelings, and emotions, I wanna find peace once and for all, whether it is on this expiring earth or eternal heavens. 
 


Details | Free verse | |

All Hallows eve

All Hallows Eve

A fire lit a thousand years ago
A fire that became an inferno as the centuries past
Born of legend and mysticism
Celebrations of the living and the dead
A night when the two worlds come close
The veil a sheer curtain that is nearly nonexistent
Ghosts and witches, spirits and goblins wander among us
Taunting us by hiding just in the corner of our eyes
They just want to let us know that they are here
All walking in an atmosphere of medieval merriment
Tales tells of horrors past
Fantasies allow minds to spin
The truth is hidden in the spirit of the night
The prayers for the souls trapped
The bribes of spirit cakes lost a hundred years past
Candy apples and popcorn balls
Children screaming in fright and laughter
These have replaced a meaning lost to history
And Halloween has come again 


Details | Free verse | |

From The Glasses of Innocent Eyes

Snuggling through words
Playing the role of her ruse
The broken family picture
Erase the humanity from her bone

Playing hide and seek with realism
She stands under the spotlight
As if the audience blindfolded 
As if they were meant to be deaf

Rely on the notion of her self perspective
She lost on the devil road 
While the innocent eyes finaly judge
While the innocent eyes finaly speak

Collapsed by the evidence of her mistake
Her child takes the wounds in silent sob
There is no concern
Or no room to pity the misled past

From the glasses of innocent eyes
No more Mom figure but ghost
No more hero, just zero
No longer appreciated or feel betrayed

The child must walk on her maturity 


Details | Free verse | |

IODIZED GAZES


Jammed like rows of canned fish 
strangers acting strange
on a 6 o’clock bullet train…
labeled as hats or ticket stubs
coughing on dry throats wet
from air-tight decks…
I wonder in curiosity
how skins touching each other’s loneliness
can remain on couches or hand-rests
without looking at each other’s eyes,
as if iodized by hinges
of phlegmatic gazes…alone,

with their screaming, screeching thoughts.



Inspiration from 'Tied To The Train Tacks'
Reimagine, Reinvent, Revamp Contest  
Sponsor: JustThatArchaicPoet


Details | Free verse | |

My Notebook

Stimulating ideas pop into your head
You need a pen…you need a piece of lined paper 
It looks like you’re outtah luck…no wonder you’re drowning in dread
You need a shoulder to lie your head down for a moment’s rest… 
You need a helper…to aid you while you struggle emotionally…
I’m not trying to irritate you purposely

Try with all your might…try your best
To stay optimistic and fervent 
I believe that you’ll pass the test
Be upbeat, kindhearted and jubilant  

I appreciate the words you wrote on my notebook…
Sometimes, I feel like leftovers left on the counter…
I’m a rotten mess – you’re leaving me as if I’m an uninteresting book 
Sometimes, I feel like a coward – I don’t mean to bother…

But, you’re like no other . . .

You’re like a mat – you’re constantly stepped on…
I’m like YOUR unwanted tool – 
I stepped on you and
Pushed your buttons
I accused you of being the fool 
When, in fact, I’m the fool by your side…
You’re drifting…pushing me aside…

I’m writing words of truth though – 
Expressing how much I’m fond of you 

I esteem your presence
Glowing with glee 
At times, you do say things without thinking 
I’m the god of distress – 
You’re leaving me breathless 
Cutting me down like I’m some decaying tree
You don’t see how much you make me…
Guilty for your crimes
Taking the blame about the hundredth time 

At times, I feel that I’m awkward when I’m around you

You’re like a backpack – you carry everyone’s weight…
You’re like a sponge – soaking in our stress
I’m a distraction to you – you’re wasting valuable time…but don’t hesitate 
I’m writing words of self-centered feelings – logic doesn’t exist…
But these feelings aren’t as bad as committing a crime
These feelings come and go – I just had to confess 
I didn’t mean to screw up your progress…

Hey, if you need a few sheets of paper to right on, 
Use me like a notebook instead…and write with all your might
It seems as if you read me…like a book that drags on and on 
Use me as your tool of relaxation… and read me all night  

When you wrote those words on my notebook…
It made my day…you’re such a delight 
Like reading a fascinating, classic book


Details | Free verse | |

Gratefulness

To be absolutely certain To be firmly convicted in principle and belief Is the scariest feeling of all But, like all feelings, it never lasts The conviction stays, but the mind wanders Deep into the zones of ostensible comfort Where it rests merely to frenzy Into the streets of opposition Straight into the absolute wrong But the feeling never lasts It returns to the minute certainty The mind becomes determined in the conviction it has embraced And the best feeling rises above the initial fear: Gratefulness
6-29-13


Details | Free verse | |

Stains of the Past

Tried not to look back
For the past is already in the past
But the past left a stain 
Which I cannot conceal nor erase

A stain of blue and red
From the pains I’ve been through
Blue for the lonely road I took
And red for the sorrow that tormented me

This stain will dwell forever
And forever, it will be a hassle
Let it stay though
To remind me that I am a survivor!


Details | Free verse | |

A Poem for US Citizens And Politicians

 
NOTE: This Poem is dedicated To all those mother and fathers Who have lost Their dear little ones In he recent US killing. Ravindra A Poem for US Citizens & Politicians No words can console The grief stricken hearts of those parents And of your people Who have lost The pieces of their hearts in the killing. No remedial measures Can restore those lovely words Which used to pour honey In the ears of their loving mother and father. When they were live The smiles of these ill fated children Used to fill the hearts of their parents With strength, kindness and love And faith in God. Now since these angels Are no longer alive O’ Almighty God Kindly strengthen their shaken hearts O' God As they have lost The most valuable part Of their life, love and happiness Their dear loving children. Others can only express their feelings For the tragedy in which these small children Have lost their lives By the merciless insane killers Who are the outcomes Of the gun culture only. Every sensitive heart in world Would pray with wet eyes For those sweet little boys and girls, Who have lost their lives for no sins of their own. Let the wise politicians and law makers Poets, writers, Painters and Musicians Social activists and thinkers Of America Taking a lesson from this incident Should change those laws Which give birth to such heinous crime makers And mad law breakers. Ravindra Kanpur India 22nd December 2012/b>


Details | Free verse | |

I Lost My LOVE

In an instant, I Lost my LOVE
In a moment, I Lost Myself

Dreaming, a Life before Death
Living in Death before  LIFE

She was my Heartbeat : My Dream
My Everything worth living for

My Soul cried , when my LOVED died
My LENORE is still  “Everything called LOVE” 

With LOVE , ALWAYS and FOREVER YOUR Liege…HG (Harry)
                      
                       To Be Continued


Details | Free verse | |

They're Watching You

They're watching you,
they're always watching you,
check out the daily news.

Henchmen rob bank,
two officers killed,
change channel.

Reality T.V.
a celebraity stumbling out of a club,
drunk as hell.

Change channel,
a gay couple buying a house,
in a white collar neighborhood.

They're watching you,
they're always watching you,
even when you don't know it.

Someone is always watching you.
Take out the trash,
wash the dishes.

Watching,
survalling,
like a camera.

Terrorists,
they're always watching you,
Politians always watching you.

School teachers,
police,
FBI and CIA
Always watching you.

Smile for the camera
they're watching
so just wave and smile.

Bullies on playground jungle-gyms
looking out for the ugly nerd,
found him.

Hiding under the woodchips,
get him, beat him up,
I told you, they're always watching you.

Look at me,
look what I can do,
can you see me?

I'll drink to that,
cheers,
for they're always watching.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Days Of September

The lost days of September are the ones I can't forget. Some of them were happy, yet " others were sad. Still, those lost days keep coming back. It happened many years ago, when I was still very young. I remember being in love. I thought life was sweet and the world was mine. Everything was going good. Everything was beautiful. I used to be happy, but time don't stop. September was over and I found myself being alone. Sometime in October - I found out that I was going to be a mother. It was something I didn't expect, but I accepted. I use to wonder - what happened? I don't know, but each year in September, those lost days keep coming back to me. I was left alone to raise my child and the years passed. Now in my twilight years, my child is grown and I am here with my memories. Each year when Fall is about to start, those lost days of September keep coming back to my mind. It was in those days of September that my daughter was concieved...
09/06/2012 Written by Lucilla M. Carrillo comments: Just a little something about my life.


Details | Free verse | |

The night

Just when the night falls
the pain subsides, a little.
And the soul quiets.
In the night
silently hidden in my dream
I can listen to your voice
narrate of your dreams.
I can hear you sing.
Then
a new morning comes
and your song 
ends


Details | Free verse | |

Ultimate nightmare

In total darkness
My helpless naked body 
Like a mere rag doll
Is tossed precariously
Into the cursing unforgiving
freezing sea
My body in shock
I am petrified filled with fear
And find it hard to breath.

My limbs tossed and thrown about
At the mercy of the towering cursing waves
That has taken so many unmercifully
To the murky depths
And a watery grave.

The freezing cold cuts and bites my tender skin
And as I swirl around against my will
My head is in a spin
I'm getting tired and more tired
As the waves crash and get increasingly higher
Drifting in and out of consciousness
Never knowing what will happen next
And when I will expire.

I just want to sleep
I hope I will soon die
I give out primal screams
But  there's no one to hear my cries.

The sheer noise of the thunderous waves
Deafens me and hurts my ears
I become delusional
Calling out for mother
And cry so many tears.

I sense the sharks are gathering
To frenziedly rip and tear my flesh
And drag me down into those dark, freezing  murky depths.

My bones to lay on the ocean bed
And soon to be covered by silt and sand
Soon to be forgotten
As though I'd never existed as a person
Or a man
At peace at last.



Peter Dome copyright.2014.



Details | Free verse | |

The Day the Magic Died

All of the Magic 
erased from the world
darkness without end
no children laughing
a mass of drone like beings
wishing for nothing
not even sad dreams remain
black magic also died today
The poets have all thrown away their pens
no more reason to write
movies have been destroyed
there will be no christmas this or any other year
this is truly the darkest day the world has ever known
I would continue to write
but the lack of desire has turned my heart to stone
I will live out the rest of my days in darkness
not even the stars can free me from this desperation
I am being sucked down into the abbys
no thought of being rescued not even the desire exists
I am alive and still I remain dead 
a spirit without dreams
magic has departed
will it ever return?
Perhaps a distant spark remains
No I am wrong
did it ever exist?
who cares?

Life with no Magic Contest




Details | Free verse | |

When I Lost You

I fell, I fell hard...when i lost you..I cant catch my breath like i used too. Lost and confused, angry that you left.  It wasn't your choice, I understand that.  I didn't only lose you that dreadful day i also lost myself, my mind and my entire life cause it hasn't been the same.  you loved me unconditionally how do i function without that now.  My body still here but I'm dead inside from all the pain and sorrow i feel cause i will never see you or talk to you again. My mind likes to wonder now all on its on it's scary sometimes..I'm worried everyone will leave me all alone.  I think of you alot, and smile cause you always made me laugh..I cant stand it..its not right...i feel like where in a dream all the time. You were the best grandfather, wasn't fair how you suffered up to your very last breath..you held on so long day after day cause u couldn't stand how you had to leave us that day. I remember talking to you and you would try to tell me something back..don't worry i know what is was I love you but i have to leave you i need u to know i will be watching you don't let yourself go....I know i told you its okay for you to go,,,but I'm sorry grandpa i lied,,,, I didn't want you to leave me i still needed you around,  call me selfish I don't care, you belong here with me not away so far.  I cant accept it or handle it the way I should cause my mind and my heart stopped doing thier work. everyone tells me snap out of it, act right, but i cant I don't know how i lost the one who guided me through life...I feel like a burden, all needy, like I'm in the way..so why do i stay? I need you to tell me that your okay...cause i cant move on like this i just cant, there is no way.


Details | Free verse | |

Dreams and Nightmares

Dreams and Nightmares
Kiara Lebel

Every night I lay in my bed
I close my eyes and dream
Every night I prepare myself for what the night has to offer

I fear that my dreams will drown me
I fear that my dreams will damage me
I fear that my dreams will kill me in my sleep

Every night I lay in my bed
I close my eyes and dream
Every night I prepare myself for what the night has to offer

I fear that my dreams will persuade me
I fear that my dreams will replace me
I fear that my dreams will be insidious

Every night I lay in my bed
I close my eyes and dream
Every night I prepare myself for what the night has to offer

My dreams are where my loved ones rest
My dreams are where the monsters endlessly chase me
My dreams are realistic

Every night I lay in my bed
I close my eyes and dream
But tonight is different, because I stay awake


Details | Free verse | |

Death and I Lost You

i lost you along the road
towards finding 
myself.

yes     i regret it     my friend.

i lost you 
along the race
towards a belief in
nothing more than a
selfish greed     an envy
of myself that’s borderline
pathetic.

i miss you     now.

looking into the sky     you’re gone
and i feel lost     i feel as
if i need one more moment
to tell you how much

i love you.


Details | Free verse | |

I lay sleeping

I lay sleeping with eyes wide open,
I lay sleeping with dreams that have no meaning,
I lay sleeping with nothing to dream about.
I lay sleeping with no care and sleep with eyes blind,
I lay sleeping, there with my eyes wide open.

Seeing the dark change from dark to black.
There is no moon, there is no sky
just purple strokes of paint in the sky.
Take that morning dew smell and close your blind eyes.
Smell the morning, that smell that clicks in your mind.
The smell of childhood dreams,
that as an adult never came true.
Sleeping bare in the nude with your eyes wide open.
Thinking of her, as she is five thousand miles away from you.
Wanting to love and hold her, but no use in crying.
Sleeping their with blind eyes in the dark that dances in the light.

Your lamplight turned down low,
as life trickeles down in its nightgown and yawns for sweet slumber.
Tired from longs days, and sometimes long nights,
wanting to curel in bed and close its blind eyes.
Dusk will soon peek its head through the blinds
and awake life to a new dawn.
She sleeps in the morning, and walks at night.
When he sleeps at night, and walks with a bare nude heart in the morning.

Life climbs over yellow mountains,
and meets her fellow compainion
a handsome fellow with broud shoulders and blessed with an ego
as I sleep there with my eyes wide open.
As I sleep with my eyes blind to what life has intented for me,
and as I raise to walk the lone streets at the break of the dew covered lawn
at the first sweet smells of dawn,
I can see life go on with the handsome man
and I blind and wanting to go to bed.

I dream of dreams that have no meaning
Gardens of cluelessness and raging emotions
tare me down and I am confused on which way to go.
Do I stay here and dream away, blind and half awake
as life slaps me across my broad cheek?
Or shall I walk on with life hand and hand
and regain my vision of the world,
Start to sleep with dreams that make sense
and dreams that are made of gold and have no end?
Dream of fancy dreams that show love and happy endings
I would love that, and I would love to walk with life,
but she is out of my leauge.

And my bed is so cozy and I feel like sleeping.
So I shall sleep on more restless night chashing life down.
I lay sleeping with my eyes wide open.
I lay sleeping with dreams that have no meaning.
I lay sleeping waiting for life to come back from the mountains
and lay beside me.
I lay sleeping with hope of regaining hope and salvage
what is left of my spirit at hand.


Details | Free verse | |

THE LOST JUST BEGAN, THE LIBYAN CIVIL WAR

On the northern plain of Africa,
Tyrannically tortured tongues wail for revolution of injustice
To embrace the prescription of democracy by neighborhood
Amber anger of our pitiless god has now being awaken
How many million tongues shall lick this ripen death?
The aftermath begun the ceremony of blood-bath in Benghazi
When peaceful demonstrators were battered by rage of military strikes.
And anger-drenched folks without training fell in love with deadly weapon
Unimaginable anger of winged weapons handshake the fine faces of Misratah
Blood-dripping vibrating limbs were separated from their sources.
And human blood was made the entertainer of the day
The laughing horror stood by his principle of apocalypse
A thousand children without parents, lost 
In gaze of orchestra of flying missiles.



The broom of earth now intervened 
The god of the stars and stripes-the mouth-piece of mother earth 
Led the assembly of giants worms who donated their agents of death
"No fly zone", "Operation odyssey" wore the mask of death
The Dead and companions were invited for a feast of Missile-roasted mortals
From your screen, smiling skull smile at your astonished eyes. 
Who will lead the dreamt resurrection of justice,
When Zeus has refused to let go his sword?
The lost just began!


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

hot summer we stand in the cemetary
I wanted you to wait
until I could be there
wait for me

a lost child is the lost center of your heart

imaginable nighmare
days click by as with any grief with any death
but this one
oh I know
but

a lost child is the lost center of your heart

I'll always be missing


Details | Free verse | |

Sharing Dad

Dad was puttering around today
Playing with me
God we haven’t played in years
	You know, Dad’s eighty now 
	I remember how he looked in photos at twenty
I remember the twinkle in his eyes
at my sons two year old birthday party.	
We played computer, you see Dad it can do this LOOK
LOOK here it does this too!
	I did so like kissing the top of his bald head.
So good to see that old comb-over long gone now
So good to smell the MY Dad smell of clean clothes and soap.
Your files need to be organized Dad.
You have them all glommed up in with the general documents files.
Know wonder you can’t find them, all the love poems to his dear heart Ruth.
	I wonder if he remembers my wedding day.
	He was so handsome in his tux that day.
                I remember his smile then as he watched me 
                walk the white carpet in the garden by the mill pond.
Joy, now is that any name to call a dog [oops SHE doesn’t know she’s a dog!]
The dust mop of a pooch barked indignantly as, I took her Daddies attention from 
her.
              Had a dog once, Babe was her name, she was a huge sheepdog, we lost    
our Babe when I lost my Dad for a long time, BUT he's been back along while too 
now

Dad was sharing with me and I so loved it. Me, of course being his first girl, 
sharing with me, his love and happiness with his last girl OUR Ruth.


Details | Free verse | |

LOST

You've been gone for a while, I needed you with me. Where have u been? Was I too much??? Have I lost u for good? I've found myself up through the night, Unable to find that piece of u that calms! So I wander, To no where!!! Stuck in between subliminal lines.... Was I too much??? Have I lost u for good? Seeing only in shades of life, And none of it is quite what it seems Everything confuses me, Only with you, Is it clarity. WAS I TOO MUCH??? HAVE I LOST U FOR GOOD? In a world of insanity,phasing in and out of reality... Every morning my pores start to tear, Nervously awaiting and hoping you would come back to me... At the break of sanity I no longer ask? Was I too much. Excepting that my pressures are yours .... When the weight becomes too heavy Poof your GONE!!! Dreadfully realizing that without YOU, I am nothing...... The one thing I can't bear to lose!!!! MY MIND!!!


Details | Free verse | |

Have You Ever Read

Dedicated to an author by the name of William Golding... Enjoy!!!


~Two boys meet on an island
~~One is skin 'n bones
~~~The other one is chubby

They discover a lagoon~
Ralph teases him by calling~~
him "Piggy" -  how mean!!~~~

Piggy asks him if
There are other people on 
The island with 'em

He has no clue
But this'll answer Piggy's question --
Other boys appear - 
All diverse shapes and sizes
What'll happen next??

You'll see...

Have you ever read The Lord of the Flies?
I recommend it if yah haven't read it yet - I must admit
It's a book full of adult words and it's simply...FASCINATING! - no lies
You should read it - or you'll regret it!



Details | Free verse | |

A Lighter Shade of Gray

In diminishing degrees of denial and doubt,
I find myself taking inventory of emotional stock
to scan it for inconsistencies:

Let's see...
Right now I feel…
Confused, scared, angry, vengeful, murderous, and demonic.

Yet also…
Calm, peaceful, nurturing,  merciful, caring, reassuring, and reassured.

Who am I to follow the yellow brick road
that lights the way out of Oz?                                        (my Wizard seems so far away…)

Who am I to question the path it leads me on?
These strange and unpredictable twists and turns,
tramples and tumbles,
ups and downs,
highs and lows…

I’m just a lost and lonely soul hoping to reconcile
the light and dark,
the white and black.
the generosity and greed
the spirit and flesh.

Yet I only end up compromising my deepest held beliefs
in the hopes that I may live a normal life
and carry on normal conversations
in a world that is everything 
but normal.

Full of lost and lonely souls, who like me,
only seek an understanding shoulder to cry on,
that could lessen this tremendous burden,
lighten this harrowing load,
and offer true direction
towards a lighter shade of gray.


Details | Free verse | |

Witness Protection

 
At one time I was lost in the sea
seems no one could here my plea
the waves came one after the other
knocking holes in my boat
The enemy had me blinded 
to focus on my boat filling with water
faster than I could get out
I had lost the life jackets
in these struggles
This is what he does
wants one to focus on things to torture
keeping one caught up in this world
I now can see this
so I want to tell all
therefore I have been placed in Witness Protection
The Lord Jesus has changed my identity
changing the way I talk
and to recognize temptations in my walk
He will work with all to change 
With your eyes you shall see
With your ears you shall hear
With His word and truth you shall live
The Lord Jesus has transported me to another land
there shall be no sinking boats in this land
and the water shall be calm 
The enemy shall not cause harm
For when you are protected with Jesus
nothing else is there to fear
What a gift to be protected 
not of the things we see 
but of the unseen 



Details | Free verse | |

My Grass Daffodils

                           Dedicated to my neighboring Agri. University Lawn, Kanpur India.


My Grass Daffodils

The Sun was trying to hide away, 
The Stars were yet to shine on way, 
The trees were silent, 
But the breeze was a little violent. 

In the fading golden light of Sun,
I was lost in simply watching, 
The spreading beauty of Yours in abundance,

The ravishing beauty, was trying to stop me to leave,
To hear and to feel,  the music of winds and Daffodils, 
Coming from the swinging and singing grasses,
From which every year comes out, my yellow daffodils.

Every year I wait for them to come out,
Every year they wait for the raindrops to shower,
To show their short but enchanting appearance 
On the neighboring grassland. 

In those memorable moments, 
Which sometimes I have spent, 
In the alluring company of my sweet Daffodils, 
I have tried to take away with me, 
The swinging and singing splashes of my grass Daffodils.

They come out every year, 
In several hundred thousands of numbers, 
When ever the rains start showering its love, 
Only on the grass lawn of Agri. University.  
I often try to understand, how even a thing like grass, 
Can be so beautiful and so fascinating, 
That, any one can get lost, 
In the eternal joyous singing and 
Swinging of these Grass Daffodils.

In mild rains they bloom, without rains they died away,
Like humans, who gets faded and dull without love
And one day fades away or become jealous or cruel,
Without the tender care and love. 

Every year you fascinate me, every year I get lost in you,
O my childhood friend from where you have come,  
And to where you would go like a mystery of life, I do not know.

Once the rains are over, 
You vanish like the diminishing light,
Like me you also seem to love,
The rains and its mild showers, as a blessing on us.

I know like humans,
You also do not like too much of rains,
And too much of showers,
Which can spoil the beauty of your petals,
And the beauty of you, my amazing Daffodils. 

But like the Grecian Urn, you will continue
To bloom and smile, 
On the grass lawn of Agri. University during rains,
And after that on the pages of my mind, heart and soul,
You would shine like the Sunshine,
Till I am living and dreaming on this earth.

Ravindra 

Kanpur India  26th July 2010                                                               








Details | Free verse | |

send him down, let justice be done

"send him down" LET JUSTICE BE DONE.
 
"send him down "spoke the head of talking wool.
the victims crowd cheering at a volume suitable to fit the crime.
the judge looks lost with his last boom of the gavel.
another day,another life lost to life.
but life don't mean ten years or more.
he's done two on remand,and will be free in five more.
life don't mean love no more.
the rich fly the sky's as the poor share the floor.
 
 
"we'll appeal and repeal"said the barristers stare.
matched timidly back by the broken man's glare.
the crime he'd comited was to want to survive.
he fought his attackers and paid with two lives.
should he have laid still there and died?
and had he died there and laid.
would justice have come and made his child less afraid?
would confusion have gone up in smoke with the blame?
 
"we love you and miss you"read the letter of volumes.
the solicitors are writing through a red taped army.
here are some kisses from us all for you to consume.
your name will be upheld and no longer tarnished.
we love you old fool like the wind loves the rain.
like the birds and the sun, we'll rise together again.
untill that day dawns let hope be your sun.
send him back up,LET JUSTICE BE DONE.
 
 


Details | Free verse | |

OCEAN FLY

Maybe the ocean will never be enough
To reveal the senses' struggle to reach
Expectations floating over time.
And maybe waves are not high enough
To cover these words unsaid, this silence
Of a love waiting.
Years of earthen promises locked
To find your beating,
A rhyme my feet knew from the very start,
The echo of your kiss
Remaining in my soul.
And I would travel lost lands and skies red
To find you,
To hold your breath between my lips.
I would walk mountains of snow
To reach your guilt
To attend your fears with a care divine
Stealing rain to satisfy your thirst,
Stealing time to glorify your dreams.
Your eyes would lead me to purity paths
Of freedom and redemption,
For my love to embrace the nights
Seeking lost stars.
For I would be the sea you cry
And my hands the road you walk
Twisting in this abyss of infinity.
At this ocean's margin I remember
Calling Fate to come, to show signs.
A shapeless moon above my eyes
Resembling to those dreams we lost,
To those promises flied to other dimensions
Waiting for your eyes to behold again.

Anything BUT Rhyme


Details | Free verse | |

Masquerade

You saunter through the double doors
Head held high
Chest puffed out
Putting on airs
You think you’re so clever, so deceiving
Showing up baring the most ornate mask
But I see right through
The mask that you wear tonight
You think it will conceal
You think just tonight
In this hour
You can be somebody else
But you’re dancing with the Belle of the Ball
This is MY Masquerade
And this is the 147th event
You just don’t recognize me
Because I wear a different mask each time
Your mask is cheap material
Sequins missing, feathers askew 
Such feeble attempts
I smell your bravado
Putrid and reeking, stinking up the air
But I see right through
I’ve donned masks my whole life
That’s why I am the bearer of this sash
That you see around my neck 
“Strongest Person I Know”
But I allow no one to gaze under the mask
Sure I play the Belle oh so well
But if you all saw beneath
Saw WHY I’ve had to wear masks
You’d strip me of my title
You’d rip off my sash
Break the pearls from my neck
You’d run for the door tonight
Quicker than Cinderella at the stroke of midnight
That’s the beauty of a Masquerade
You can pretend to be something you’re not
When one guise becomes worn
When it loses its sparkle
It’s glamour and charm
That first catches your eye
Well it’s quite alright 
Because I have a treasure trove 
BURSTING with masks
Grab another and keep dancing
Twirling the night away
Never skipping a beat
But when the music finally comes to an end
When the door closes and the final guest departs
Empty wine glasses are seen scattered all around
The only sound is the echo of my heels
When the confetti lies lifeless on the floor
That’s when I remove my mask
Exhausted, worn and weary
When I gladly, almost desperately 
Take off my tattered sash 
And throw it beneath my feet
Because I’m not resilient and strong now
I feel weak, frail and reclusive in my realm
That’s when the tears start to brim
That’s when I wish someone else held the title
So stripped and naked
Alone to clean up the mess
Everyone else has left behind
But there’s no one to there to pick up the sash
Just me and the sound of my tears
Echoing as they hit the floor
Almost fearfully I pick up the sash
Dust off the confetti
Smooth out the wrinkles
Before placing it back around my neck
As I throw my shoulders back
Standing taller than ever
Wiping away tears that no one saw
I walk back to my trunk
My trunk of the most decorative
Ornate, obscuring masks
Finding another to wear
As I prepare for the next façade
The next Masquerade 


Details | Free verse | |

The Truth About Love

Love is not easy
Love is hard
Love is time apart
Trying not to drown
Praying to stay loyal
Holding on to lover's promises
Dreaming of reuniting
Crying tears of hurt and joy
Thinking of you constantly
Asking God for all the best
Love is difficult
Love is not easy
Love is hard
Love is faith
Love is hope
Love is trust
But love is beautiful
Oh, so beautiful
And love is worth it
Oh, so worth it
Love is in God's Hands
Love is protected
Love will come back again
Reunion again
For God is love
In Jesus' Name
We pray
Amen!


Details | Free verse | |

Last Sonnet



Hither I stand, at crossroads,
And then I gaze, at the yonder end-
The vague horizon from where I began;
And all that I may ever deem
Is that- my days
Have been a waken dream.

Hither I stand, at the edge of my dream;
Then I wonder, at the depth of my trance-
An adventurous journey through the wondrous woods;
An idyllic stroll through the vicissitudinous meadow;
And from the final station as I depart,
All that I can ever say, is that
Perpetuation has been a rouge
Of fleeting phases of my life.


Suyash Saxena 
St. Stephen’s College.


Details | Free verse | |

Three days Saved

It's been nine years, I have counted the tears-
  they have made trails of guilt
  worried into my heart 
  then filled with loneliness and bitter despair
but by your grace I have been shown...

For the first time, in these nine years, I have not wept
  nor held a vigil to honor our grief
though the loss still burns, this time it is transformed

Peace from your love still reaches through death
  and through your eternal love I am reborn
  
 It is Good Friday. 
When God took your spirit home
  and left me dying to know,
  how to love him for his sacrifice
  when he asked me to give up you?
How do I heal this death and rise with you in his arms?

Through your love I was born, and in your arms I grew
 and it has been your love the kept me whole
 that taught me how to be reborn
    for even though your body has gone
    your words lost in the wind and breath no more
The essence of grace and strength you lived
- it grows still in your daughter soul

My being and existence came from your womb
  my heart and mind shaped by your enlightenment
I have lived a life you gave me and for once
   I live it in pride to honor your sacrifice
your words giving me the guidance I'd lost nine years ago.

Alas, I've come to know, that as you died
  and went home with our Lord, you saved me from my death
not in your dying, my grief and love can attest,
    but in your living strength and loving example
       you showed me how to live a life
             open to our Father's gift

We knew it would not wait, but the parting was too fast.
I sat in thought three days before your sleep and asked,
"In three days time my savior died, I wonder hence
   what of my soul will rise with his?"

And now sitting Easter morning, 
  holding my sons candy-filled basket,
I realized Three days passed.

  He took you home Friday morn, but left me love,
that eternal love that never dies
whose comfort is unending

I honor your love by giving it to my children
         and Easter morning I felt your hug, your kiss, and knew 
                                 you have never left me
.
Though God took you home Mom
I know you have never left me
for as our Savior died and rose
you too still live in my heart, 
showing me proof our Father's blessings

    because you, my love, are my soul and all ready there
there fore I am strong enough to give this pain up 
       to honor his sacrifice and transcend,
           to be humbled by the grace and mercy
          that could forgive such lost lambs as I


Details | Free verse | |

Peace

How queer the color of viscera
squarely foreign in my breast
To be the butcher and grim and goddess
All in one
Leaves identity succinct
Or identifies succinctness
If it has been
Then so it was always before

Therein is 'Peace'
Reposed and eyes rolling
Great, vacant saucers on vertiginous axis
She is quite the swollen beast
And on all fronts, she is terrible
If only you'll watch you may notice her growth
A malignant sort
An unwelcome appendage
I'd dash it out but I've already gone
Too pale and dogged in life to succumb
I curse her tenacity

She has a sister, I think
Or maybe a child
A child who lives down deep in my chest
A child who shrieks and tears down the walls
Perhaps she dislikes their pattern


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Myself Along the Way

Come to think of it
I'm not entirely sure
where I lost myself

Maybe it was in those 8 hours
of class time
lost in notes and definitions

In beds of strangers or
old friends who I no longer
know the whereabouts of 

Did I lose myself somewhere 
along those roads driven on
late nights to places with people
whose faces I won't ever recall?

Did I leave myself behind in
books or shows or at the cinema?

Or maybe it was the ticking of the clocks
and the counting of time
waiting for better times
that never came

Come to think of it
I'm not entirely sure I lost myself
I'm not entirely sure I had myself
Maybe all these places
are where I've found myself


Details | Free verse | |

Meaning

The flowers have lost their meaning
And sun has lost his shine
A devil rises to the power
Turns into something divine
Thought they crumble
Upon the mountains of pain
Sadness piles upon
The madness

Fear
Turn into something
Irreplaceable
Pounding heart
Like a hailstorm
Coldness runs
As the vision get clearer
Tears fall as the memories
Get dear


Details | Free verse | |

Life Can Be Cruel

I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
Wondering...
When is Mum, coming for me?

"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"

I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now

I wish God 
Could make my Mum
Magically appear
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
Disappear!

“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!

I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if 
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own

A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!

Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Dirty tears
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm

“What am I going to do?”

“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?

“Is my life worth living?”

Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Heart

Everyday I am happy to be
in the presence of my angel,
he is my one true source
of comfort.
The sun always seems to shine
regardless of rain clouds drifting
across the azure sky.
His touch sends lust coursing through
my veins making my heart beat faster.
The frequent devotion transformed into
blood-red roses that he bestows upon
me with his sparkling smile.
Sadly this was short-lived for my
happiness turned into pain,
tears fell like raindrops down my
soft velvet skin.
My inner screams went unheard,
no-one seemed to notice my cries
for empathy or relief from this
dark and lonely place.
My heart has been broken into
a thousand pieces so small that
they could pass through the eye
of a needle.
My angel has fallen, jealousy
roamed within his heart making
his baby blue eyes turn green
with envy.
My heart feels lost in this
ocean of lost hope and trust;
happiness and joy do not exist
in this hellish bubble of pain
and agony.
My heart has been broken and
the voice of my angel no-longer
enters my mind for he has now
fallen leaving nothing but
a betrayed heart in his wake.


Details | Free verse | |

What did I do to deserve this

What I do to deserve this heartbreak,
this horrid and unnatural pain,
this cleche of events that strike me simultaneously
as the time ticks away,
and as the grinning faces pierce a whole through my soul
and my heart turns pale and slowly beats.
My heart is torn in two,
and I cannot find the doctors to stich me up.
I ask an old man,
how does love go about,
he smaked me in the face and went on.
The pain and the sorrow,
it is too much to feel,
too much to gain in one serving,
When I eat, I taste posion, not passion,
familiar faces turn grey, with ruby eyes and sharp fangs
they hiss at me, like a cat to a mouse.
I don't understand why I deserve this.
I am a good man,
who loves with open arms and a big heart.
With every hug I give,
I recieve a knife of betrayal in my back,
I feel the blood ooze from my open wounds,
suicidal tendencies roll through my mine,
but I quickly throw them out,
because Mama didn't raise no coward.
I see the blow, I clench my fists
and swing away,
God cries wanting to stop this madness,
Death laughs and soon joins in,
people join in and punch away.
I lay there on the concret blood everywhere,
my heart torn out of my chest,
each with a thousand knives stabbed in it,
as it slowly beats,
I lay their on the pavement,
looking up to the heavenly skies,
and as it starts to rain droplets of hope
I ask myself,
What did I do to deserve this?
Then, I shall close my eyes
and rest for awhile.

-9/23/13-

Inspired by all the betrayal and heartbreak I've faced, by so many cowards who didn't want to recieve my love. People I had thought who were my friends, came with invitations of humiliation and hate, and now I see who my real friends are; this pen and paper... Have a good day.
P.S. No one should ever be shown this much betrayal and heartbreak. I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy. Have a good day!


Details | Free verse | |

Leave a Message After the Beep

It's always hardest, when there is no one to talk to-
When I dial your number, and it just rings and rings
Until the dreaded "voice mail" picks up.
For just an instant, when there is that brief crackle and "click"-
My hopes skyrocket that you have picked up the phone and answered, when I needed it most, the moment I am most frantic...
But when, in reality, it's just that pre-recorded message that I've heard a million times before; how I loath it
And I feel my heart sinking, like there are anchors tied all around it, dragging it into the depths of my stomach!
Where are you? Can you not feel my desperation through the infinite channels of the universe, or are they clogged and busy, too?
Don't you know that I need you, perhaps now, more than ever?
I know you're at that fancy French restaurant you're always talking about, drinking fine wine and eating escargot, possibly dancing the night away.
While I am here, all alone, eating my own heart out for supper.
All I need, all I want, is a compassionate voice on the other end of the line, talking me down off the ledge once again.
Don't you know I've had too much to drink; that I am listening to sad songs and thinking about doing it again- that awful thing which leaves me so terribly scarred when I wake from my stupor? The cuts. You know, those things you hate to see marring my arms.
But I'll have to resort to self-will and self-control, of which I have so very little...
I may or may not make it through another night of melancholy and self-loathing.
Please, for the love of God, pick up the damn phone!

*Any Poem Goes Contest Entry
~JustThatArchaicPoet
 


Details | Free verse | |

Those Ruby Lips

I want to sensually taste and devour those ruby lips
Mysterious, sultry, desirable and so impenetrable 
Will this be my night of sheer ultimate ecstasy
Or a night lost in a cold frigid non giving heart
Will those lips open and rapturously possess all of me
Or shall they remain closed never within my reach
I so long to be lost in your wild fiery passionate kiss
But shall I be fulfilled or only intolerably tolerated
For years I have gazed at those lips in lustful want
Is this my moment of fulfillment or my Achilles heel?


Details | Free verse | |

Do you remember

Remember those days when we used to sit for hours and talk my dear?
Remember those everlasting nights when we just used to stare at each other my dear?
Remember those evenings when we used to take our long walks on the beach my dear?
Remember those days my dear?

I remember the days when all we wanted to do was be together,
I remember the days when all we wanted to do was be there for each other,
I remember the days when all we did was reminisce our childhood memories,
I remember those days my dear.

But that was a long time ago my dear,
I barely know who we are anymore,
I’ve lost my sight of what it was that I saw in us,
I’m beginning to feel your warmth leave me my dear.

I really wish you were still here close to me,
I really wish you still knew how much I love you,
I really wish you knew how much you mean to me,
I really wish you’ll come back to me my dear.

Why did we change my dear?
Why is there a block of ice forming between us?
Why have we lost everything we had in common?
Why are walking two different paths now my dear?

How I wish we could go back to the way we were,
The time when I knew you were the perfect one for me,
The time when we knew nothing could separate us,
Do you remember those days my dear?


Details | Free verse | |

Invisible

They
Are
Among us.
Not alien
But more
Like us than
You will ever know.
They are
Neighbors
Dying
Of
Disease
And 
Hate
And
Grief.
They live
Next door
Behind walls
Built
Not of stone
But of fear.
Hungry
Penniless
Alone.
They are
Stereotypes
Birthing
Children.
Ad dictions
Carving
Flesh from
Bones.
They are
Sold
Into
Slavery
Beaten
By
Other
People's
Philosophies.
They are
Invisible.
But not
To
Me.


Details | Free verse | |

Spread your wings into the sky

Be brave little one
Don’t be afraid to follow the wind
Spread your wings into the sky
Like those birds that fly high
Fly high and reach the highest mountain
Fly high and soar the wind
Ride on the clouds
And enjoy the journey
Contact the angels
That heaven sent from above

When you lost the will to win
You can turn it all around
To reach the sky again
Spread your wings into the sky
Fly high let your spirit be free
Lay down on a cloud of pillow
And let the blue sky blanket you
Let the birds chirping to wash your sorrow
Let the morning shield you
For the strength for you to be strong

Fly high
Spread your wings into the sky
Inhale the love that surrounds on you	
Breathe every hope touches your soul
Put on a rainbow in every storm
Put on a smile in every tear
Don’t let the rain pour in your eyes
Don’t let the sun hide on a cloud
The sky is clear, and it so inviting
Join with them let your feet go on dancing


Fly away
And spread your wings into the sky
Higher than any bird that ever flew
Stronger than the breeze that blew
Don’t hide, let the wind take you
Anywhere you choose to go
Just hold tight, when there’s no one else 
A hand for you to hold
Fly, 
You will find all you’ll ever need to know

Fly let you fly
Spread your wings into the sky
Don’t be afraid to lost your way
Then you will find the strength
That will take you in a brighter way
Just believe in time of fear
Look inside yourself, there can be a miracle
You’ll make it no one can stop you
Just fly
Spread your wings into the sky.



Cheryl Aldea
------September 18, 2010.------
Contest : Flying
Sponsored by Debbie Guzzi 
______________________

3rd Place winner
Contest  : Flying


Details | Free verse | |

Just Be

                                                 
                                                   'Being lost'

                                            ...is my being lost? 

...or is my sight contrived and incongruent, looking but not focusing from so many angles

                                       Inwards out - outwards in

A' woods for the trees' moment, when overwhelming analysis clouds and distorts

                                                   'Feeling lost'

                                     ..since when was lost a feeling ?
 
Or have I dulled and muted feelings in exchange for a rational thought process that's easier than what is...

                                                     'LOST'

                         The word itself LO..yep, ST...saint? hmm no


                    Standing back now adjusting perspective, widening view 

              Lost in relation to what I ask?... who's finding who?

	Does this all matter, am I caught in a disruptive thought pattern

Just filling the void and wasting the time, asking the questions and justifying the whys..

                           A lifetime of crossing the t's and dotting the i's
                                              
                                           STOP THINKING!!

                                                             .... just be



Details | Free verse | |

Morning After

~ I open the door to search for the source But there's no sound of it now... Weeping that used to creep over the stairs, climbing trellis and vines Climbing onto the porch roof, and into my room A looming invisible smoke, that would choke me with grief, Like a thief in the night, engulfing the room where I stand ~ Sounds of weeping could be heard with a far, but familiar dread that sped through the night, remaining a bit out of reach but dying at the foot of my bed ~ It would come like a child, crying in the dark calling my name, lamenting the cost of a light that was lost a voice losing sight in the shadow of grief that fades in the soft morning dawn ~ I stand in the door, and realize, of course the voice of the wind is my own ~
____________________________________________________


Details | Free verse | |

Enta Eih

What are you (how cruel are you) isn’t it enough,
That you hurt me? Have pity. How cruel are you?
Why my love, is it so easy for you to bring me to tears,
And why do I accept that you hurt me when my soul is part of you,
And why am I accepting this torment at your hands?
If this is love, my misery is from it,
And if I am to blame, I cannot say never again,
And if it is my lot to live in torment,
I shall live in torment,
Have you no pity? Have you no shame that you cheat me knowing the love I have for you,
Is it not a shame, the passion and the years and longing that I am living for you?
Was the love lost completely? Or has it been a game,
Was the love and tenderness and my heart and faith in you all lost?
If this is love, my misery is from it,
And if I am to blame, I cannot say never again,
And if it is my lot to live in torment,
I shall live in torment…


Details | Free verse | |

alcohol

woe to the spirit of alcohol 
that twists and turns corrupts your soul
woe to the darkness of your night
with bitter thoughts your mind does fight

woe to the child crying still
that can not hear the words you knew
with twisted thoughts inflicting pain
the child lost your lovers flame

As anger now begins to start
woe to your lost lovers art
whose pain I feel so deep
woe to the silence of the night

as angry words begin to speak
woe to your lost lovers
whose heart has turned to ice
you drank away the love you lost

each bottle has it's deadly cost
you striped the flesh from lovers soul
you empty nests that lovers hold
an empty cage an empty nest


Details | Free verse | |

SELF-LOATHING

Step after step I move forward.
Into the abyss, 	
Into the pit
Black, thick, silent,
The pool is filled
 Yet the tar is so bleak and empty.
Fully submerged there is nothing, 
Nothing but me
Nothing to smell hear or see
So I focus on me
My weaknesses
My faults
My mistakes
I feel all the pain as the air leaves my lungs
As the pressure of all that I’ve done bears down upon my chest and back.
Bones bend and muscles contract.
That last bit of air
 Right before sweet eternal sleep
 Escapes into the darkness
And for that moment the pain stops and the pressure fades…
I am cold.
I am lost.
Floating back to the top…
I inhale 
And life is restored…until next time.


Details | Free verse | |

Miss Ladybug

Wearing your red pock-a-dot dress
Miss Ladybug, you look divine,
it is beautiful today, the sun is out.

Go now, Miss Ladybug,
flutter your wings,
buzz away from me.

Go now, fly Miss Ladybug.
Point me in the direction of love,
see you flying North.

May I say, Miss Ladybug,
that you look divine,
and beautiful as ever.

I walk North,
I follow you Miss Ladybug,
point me to her.

You flutter over to a beautiul girl,
five foot, seven.
Nice pick Miss Ladybug.

I walk over to the girl,
She is beautiful,
long hair, jet black, flowing.

Miss Ladybug thank you,
now fly away,
I shall need you for another day.

Take me away now, baby
show me something new,
take me away from the few.

And Miss Ladybug,
there she went off into the sunset,
with her red pock-a-dot dress
flowing in the breeze, alone.


Details | Free verse | |

These Walls I Built

Stuck in the prison of my own life,
I dodge behind these walls I built.
And inside is a demon covered in guilt
And shame so thick you can't see his eyes.
God, please help me to see
No matter what, You will always love and be with me.
Thank You Father for everything.
In Jesus' Name,
We pray.
Amen.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Feeling cold,
Lost in desperation,
Remembering sadness,
Getting in frustration...

Trying to let go,
Comprehended,
By few of those.

Losing comprehension,
Restrained from myself,
Being criticized,
Feeling hollowed.

Needing help,
To bring me,
Back to life...


Details | Free verse | |

The Execution of Timothy Mc Veigh





I have so many thoughts
                                                So many feelings
                                                 They want to spill out and
                                                                                            drip
                                                                                                  down 
                                                                                                           the
                                                                                                                 page

Tears well up as I watch the
                                              morning coverage of the
                                                  execution.

                                            Our President speaks:
                                                “We have carried out the severest sentence
                                                  for the greatest of crimes.”

                                             Some are rejoicing.  The monster is dead.
                                                The pungent aroma of hatred and bitterness
                                                 can be tasted.
                                                  I am overwhelmed by sorrow
                                                           I cry for all the little children who lost their 
lives.
                                                           I cry for all who lost loved ones.
                                                           I cry for a young man who lost his way.
                                                           I cry for his parents who lost a son.
                                                           I cry for myself- for the loss of my faith,
                                                             a simple faith in the traditional God.

So …where do we go from here?
                                           I guess it’s up to us.
                                           I hear a faint melody
                                              coming from the center of my soul.
                                           I can’t make it out, but
                                              It sounds like
                                                  Hope.

                                                                                                                   6/11/2001

















                                      


Details | Free verse | |

Like the frightened Jackrabbit, I run away from Love

Jump up and down like a jackrabbit
running through meadows
running from what?
Could it be heartbreak,
a venemous snake that hides in the grass,
hiding with fangs ready to pierce the tender skin
upon the tight, bronze flesh of everyday life?
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now!
I need a vacation a long way away from the faceless smiles
and ignorance of young girls, who don't look at you,
who don't show you love and respect.
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now,
as jumping spiders hop everywhere, crawling eight legs around me
my soul black like carcoal, but my heart still beating
slower this time, not like the days before
and like the jackrabbit running from anything and everything,
I run to seek love and vanish away from the empty voids
that people call, their souls.
Recording a film with no tape,
talking to a woman you love, but not having the guts to tell her how you really feel
Jump my boy, like a jackrabbit, take my advice
tell her before she leaves
turns down the endless avenues of endless dark love
the trees grow taller, taller than you
and you sit there feeling away yourself die, missing out in life.
I cannot see you lose your love.
Say it, say it, Say it!!! Tell her! Tell her! Build the guts up!
Build up the courage, tell her how you feel. Take her by the hand and never say goodbye! Never say goodnight, stay with her till the flight comes in the morning
of the first rays of sun shine through your dorm room take her and love her!
Do not be like me, the jackrabbit! I see no happiness
Reading poetry it makes me sad,
to write of others falling in love and I never finding the one.
People tell me, you'll find yours, have hope
but I am a frightened little jackrabbit
who flees from sounds of deep emotions, not having courage to fall in love,
not building the guts up to tell her how I really feel.
She walks alone, I find my oppertunity and sing my love song
She smiles and moves on,
please tell me I cannot fight anymore.
All I have to say is Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye
I need a vacation
to go to some sandy beach on an island of love
and write and write and write, the same poetry that depresses me
but makes you all fall in love with words!
Fiction about love stories, please kiss me
Blue eyed death comes, plays a game of chess with me
I bet twenty, he bets my soul
Kiss me death, the only love I'll ever get,
besides my poet friends who kiss my ass
Listen to my heart, truely, I don't write of beauty
I write for the sorrow soul, the fleeing jackrabbit
running away from love.....


Details | Free verse | |

To a Beautiful Stranger

Id like to think about the time when we first met,
Sometime about a year ago,
The words we said, our first exchange of hello's,
Something about, you know

I saw you just about all the time,
And suddenly because of you I was smiling again,
Though I can't seem to say when
You brought back the sunshine into my life,
unknowingly..accidentally

And though it's hard to define certain things,
Even now it is still confusing,
what am I to you..
but I know what you are to me
And how much I care about you..

But I must hide the love in my heart,
Beneath a laughing face.
And though you think I probably never cared,
I doubt anyone can ever take your place...

I miss you so much..


5.18.11


Details | Free verse | |

Reaction

I like her, she likes me
I kissed her, she kissed me
I love her, she loves me

I'm busy, she’s busy
I'm yelling, she’s screaming
I'm angry, she’s crying
I'm trying, she’s trying

I'm leaving, she’s leaving
I'm lonely, she’s lonely
I lost a love, she lost a friend
I never saw her, and she never saw me again.


Details | Free verse | |

Fate of Faceless Faith

Pious pies pilot pineapples to pricey plights


Details | Free verse | |

unfinished


i’m lost.

wandering my mind, hollow now.

secrets tucked in the seams, invisible to passer-bys.

each step leaves an imprint behind,

dust settling into the crevices left by my toes.

the world empty,

immune to stolen glances between souls and half-hearted exchanges.

peace swept away,

pushed to the side by an old broom of straw and wood.

oxygen dissipates,

I try hard,

harder to breathe.

but all that is left to soothe my lungs

is the empty, grey air,

void of the warmth of shared space
.

sometimes I sneak away

to send a fluid rush to my veins,

entrancing my mind in a fictional fantasy.

alone, I bathe in my secrecy,

cleansing my skin with vibrant truths.


Details | Free verse | |

Drunken pen

Drunken pen, follow thy drunken finger
Letting it bleed what it feels, for my heart 
It no longer feels, nor my eyes cry
My tears are lost in the trees 
My mind so drunken confuse and scramble
Hurt emotions fall with the rain
My tongue stuck under a rock, for what can I say

Drunken pen, follow thy drunken finger
Letting it bleed what it feels, for my heart 
It no longer feels, nor my eyes cry
My spirit is floating in the river
My soul is trapped in dreams
Hurt emotions fall with the rain
Feet stuck in quicksand, for I can no longer walk

Drunken pen, follow thy drunken finger
Letting it bleed what it feels, for my heart
It no longer feels, nor my eyes cry
My tears and spirit are lost in the trees, and floating in the river
My mind and soul are confuse,scramble and trapped in dreams
Hurt emotions fall with the rain, I cry each and every day
My tongue so sore, I no longer speak
My feet so weak, I no longer walk

Drunken pen, follow thy drunken finger
Letting it bleed what it feels, for my heart
No longer feels, what you want it to feel


Details | Free verse | |

ABANDONED CHURCH

In the midst of this silent song,
Is a lost note-a lost church...
Worst than being abandoned,
It's foundation  has been crawled by isolation...
The melodious rhymes it made,
Has been replaced by a never ending moaning of the ocean...
The sands crapes into it veins,
Going sway..
It was a place filled with saved souls..
A place of inspiration,
Tunes into a place of isolation..
Left and abandoned by all,
The place of worship has turned into "abbadon".

 

BY PRINCE EKPEMANDU
contest- THE CHURCH NY THE OCEAN
2nd October 2011


Details | Free verse | |

Photograph

Nothing left of you now
nothing here to see
A memory left by you
soon that will fade, too
where did you go?
why didn't you know?
when I needed you
as time ticks away
my photograph fades
to black and white
no more colors, no more life
no more negatives, just a positive
taken out of the frame
held you to the flame
burning away my pain
so it's goodbye to blame






Written by: Kelly Deschler  motif: philosophical


Details | Free verse | |

When a Man cries Himself to Sleep

When a man cries himself to sleep,
it is a sad sight to see,
tears roll off his cheek
and onto his bed sheets and pillow case.
When you hear his somber cries,
you can feel his pain
when he wimpers like a child who treds in fear.
No one knows what they do to a man
when they play with his emotions,
lead him on,
take advantage of him.
They don't know what they do to an innocent man
looking for love.
They break his heart that is full of love,
they stab him in the back
when he needs them at his most vulnerable moment
they laugh at him, and tease him,
Do they know what they do to a man?
They slowly kill a man, who just wants a simple kiss on the lips,
they kill a dreamer, a good man, with a big heart.
They drive a man to his bed,
with tears running down his face
and force him to dream of nightmares.
When a man cries himself to sleep, 
it is that saddest thing to see.
Goodnight and sweet dreams...


Details | Free verse | |

Console Reality

Through putrid post apocalyptic wastelands
I wander gun in hand 
prepared to annihilate those critters 
who dare to cross my path
then I press the pause button 
and sip from my china cup
thankful that life isn't like 
my console reality 
whilst I flick through the channels 
on my flatscreen TV 
Game break over
back to fighting bad guys
in a pixelated land
I let off a round
a-tat-a-tat-tat
It kind of looks familiar
like an item on the news
but I know my mind's just playing tricks
Real life is bliss


Details | Free verse | |

A Fork In The Road

I am lost in a tangled wood Reaching for a rope like thread Two fingers balancing One, two, three…. Like ballerina legs Gliding along the tendril floor Inching forward, halted By a knotty carrefour The dense foliage Throwing shadows around the cracks Guiding God’s fingers Illuminating the furcate tracks A judgment, God or Heart… Trust or regret… One path forward One path back


Details | Free verse | |

Somebody lost someone today

(St Valentine’s day 1992)

Most Valentine poems are about love
and rightly so,
but this is a true story and needed to be told.

Somebody lost someone today.
His mangled body on the 
refinery grounds did lie.
They were working on him
Them! That win most, but
alas, they lost this one.
I use to see him every
morning, pedaling his cycle on the
dark and misty corridors
of Roscommon road, habitual
instincts homing in towards
the works chimney.
Yes somebody lost someone
today, the staidly traffic
lights just carried on,
wayfaring curiosity soon
gone, life just keeps on and
on, till tomorrow. Then!
Somebody lost someone today.


Details | Free verse | |

O The Indignity of it All

Last summer when hiking with some friends
We came to a place where the trail ends
A road had been cut and stolen the trees

An 18 year old balanced the side
When all of the sudden his mother did cry

Get off that ledge have you lost your mind
And then all of the others with her did chime

I said you guys are silly he’s not going to fall
Anyone could do it anyone at all

All walked on, they had saved his neck
I looked and stared and said what the heck

As my friends walked on I stood on the ledge
Started to balance then looked over the edge

Far, far below all rocks, okay boulders
I realized I hadn’t done this since I became older

The only thought that came was 
Oh man this is gonna a hurt
My arms flailing quickly
all my senses alert

I know I looked like an idiot jerking forward and back
But then all my friends turned and went on attack
So much cussing and screaming had they all lost their minds
Tried though I might no voice I could find

With everything in me came the smallest of “help"
My friend reached and grabbed me 
And threw me to the ground
Then all of my friends did gather around 

I couldn’t get up so hard I did laugh
Then I stood to plead sanity on my own behalf

Look I’m as shocked as you
I used to do this in my sleep
I thought that as you grew older
At least your balance you could keep
After my laughter subsided
Indignity sunk in
I hadn’t felt so very old 
Since I couldn’t remember when

I vowed right then before we left
That before my next birthday
I’d go back and walk that ledge
No matter what they had to say

So in the middle of summer
If my pen should suddenly mute
Just know that I am mending
And my pride is following suit


Details | Free verse | |

The trip that changed my life

As I walked on the ship it was like walking into my destiny
A new life is awaiting for me
Finally I can start my dreams
I am free just me and the breeze
 That hits my face as we sail away
I’m nothing special you see 
Just a young boy now at chasing a dream
that I can be anything I want to be
My mind is at peace as we sail away from the port
Listening to the music my feet began to believe
As I dance along to my own tune and see all those who believe just like me
The rich take this trip for fun
As the poor take the trip to become
The difference between the two of us is made sure of
Bottom deck is for us and upper floor is  for glory
But this is just a ride for me to travel and to see
As the rich are pampered, we sing and gamble
Card games and whiskey are what we do
Who would of thought this ship wouldn’t make it though
1316 departed out to sea and to think many lives would be taken before reaching their dream
It was a cold night when the lights started to flicker and passengers started to scream
What happened next wasn’t something we could believe.
The ship hit and iceberg and started to sink fast.
Family and children were frantic.
Life boats where loaded for only the best
Mother and children first as other where trying to fasten their vest
The water was cold as people where throw in by the boat itself
The band kept their composer as they sang their best
As other tried there hardest to survive this horrible mess.
I myself held on tight, this wasn’t my dream, I was filled with fright. 
I shook inside for those who were dying and stayed strong for those trying to stay alive.
It felt like hours even though it was quicker than that
The boat broke in half and lives were lost like that.
Now in the water myself I struggled to stay afloat.
I felt my body letting go.
As people screamed and shouted for love ones they had be separated from
Reality set I was alone with no one to hold on to.
I held on as long as I could my body numb, I could barely breath.
The light shown and yell is anyone out there but I couldn’t be seen
I could not speak nor move and I was filled with fear.
My thoughts where lost and death was near 
as the boat shine its light one me and grabbed my hand.
I awoke cold and wet, safe.
But the thought still fresh in my head, the Titanic had sunk


Details | Free verse | |

To Not Believe, Is Not An Option

I believe in God.
I believe, because to not believe, is not an option.

I would rather believe in God throughout my life, 
then when I die, if there is nothing, I have lost nothing
and would never know.

If I lived my life never believing in God,
then when I died,
and God asks why I did not believe,
I have lost everything, 
and will know what I lost for eternity.

To not believe is not an option, only a gamble, 
a gamble whose odds produce an incalculable result;
the only guarantee, truth.


Details | Free verse | |

Welcome To Living Death

There comes a point in time
Where nothing matters
Where your vision is blurred
Where there's nothing but darkness encircling you 
Where love has lost and Fear has won. 

There comes a situation when you realize your hopeless,
lifeless, faithless, graceless, breathless, and  mindless 
mind has taken over and won. 

Where happiness is feared and sadness is embraced. 
 
Welcome to living death. 


Details | Free verse | |

I have seen the feelings of Love II

Note: With some modifications I will be posting it soon on my Music channel 'RavindraKK1' as a Song also.

I have seen the feelings of Love Concluding part In such an aroma of the fragrance The mingling smell of Mango flowers Pumps and rises the waves of passion In every loving heart. Even at the cost of getting Scattered and lost The hilarious sea waves Goes up and up in humans As well as in animals Touching the rocks and sky So that it may reach In the sweet embrace of its lover. . And the joy of love and passion Rises higher and higher When the soothing moonlight falls On the eager loving hearts And the fragrance of night flowers Make it more than an intoxicating art. In such an aroma Of sweet smelling flowers The Koyal* too began to call Its soul mates lost on some other tree Far away from the Mango flowers Perhaps lost in some diminishing jungles These melodies of the immortal birds Purify the air everywhere on earth So that the bitterness of hearts Can be dissolved to some extent Which empowers the mind To make follies Forgetting the sweetness of life. The Koyal* spreads the magic of love While flying from one branch to another And refresh the air and the surroundings By filling it every time With its sweetest sound vibrations As its last fighting attempt to save The fast diminishing Natural surroundings From out life and hearts These melodies flow all over the Earth Wherever the trees are still in existence But these can only be heard by those, Who have enough love in hearts And a passion for such sweet singing birds Which are slowly at the verge Of getting extinguished and lost forever. Ravindra Kanpur India 16th April 2013 *Koyal - The singing bird of India like Nightingale


Details | Free verse | |

You Make Me Whole

Here I am again,

I'm so far away from you,

I've fallen apart,

A scattered mess of what I used to be,

I always tried so hard,

I thought I could do this by myself,

I've lost so much since I began,

I've fallen apart,

But you remind me of who I am,

When I see your face,

I know no other love,

I know I'm yours,

You're everything I know I lost before,

I fell apart,

I came to you a broken mess,

Because you make sense of who I am,

You're all I need to be whole again.

I love you...


Details | Free verse | |

May be

It's so hard
but you'd not understand it
not understand it at all
how hard i took a fall
when i saw your pretty face
i was lost inside the place
of your beautiful eyes
and lost in your sweetest of voice
and
i know you
you'd not understand
not understand it at all
how hard i took a fall
only if i could fly and crash land
in your arms
only if i could write your name
all over the moon
and only if i could
tear my heart open and gift it to you
may be you'll understand then


Details | Free verse | |

Death, it is a sad way to go

Death, it is a sad way to go,
to leave this earth, dressed in your Sunday best
While faces surround you with tears
breaking the barriers of their emotions
tearing their hearts apart, looking down
upon my stone face, upon the face, lays a simplistic smile
that shows no emotion, no teeth, no life.
Death, it is a sad way to go.

People hurry, say their goodbyes,
but when your alive,
they never come around, they never call, they never even think
of you and how you are feeling.
While you walk the streets, with a smile on your face,
nothing but knives stick sharpe in my back and gossip
burns a hole in my soul and heart;
but I keep on walking and smiling.
I keep rolling on through like a summer hurricane
tears apart a coastal city in the heat of June weather,
Walking till death comes to shake my hand and grin at my soul.

Then as you lay their in your casket
with a buqouet of your favorite flowers, (Roses and Tulips)
they sit around you, the same faces, the same blind eyes
and they all shed tears and says good things.
Too late for that don't you think?
Death, it is a sad way to go, but what relief you get,
when finally departing in peace and leaving the drama
and careless people in your life.
After I am put six feet under, a week of crying passes,
After two weeks I am lost and long forgotten,
nothing but a stone at my cranium to keep me company
and my new friends, who sleep along next to me.
Dead and forgotten, but the dead never forget their fellow lost souls.
Only the living forget such souls that were so good to them,
now they are gone,
I am gone.
How do you feel, now that I am gone?

Death, it is a sad way to go, but what peace you recieve in Paradise.


Details | Free verse | |

Forever Me and You

When I said goodbye
We walked our diffrenet ways
Then you turned your face to see me leave
I was there still standing with tears in my eye

You came running to hold me
We kissed under the rain
I took a nap and slept the night
You told me you would never leave me

Then you woke me up to let me watch you leave
I couldn't stop you and you were gone
You were gone so far, i lost you
As the tree in fall,  lost all it's precious leaves

Yet, i have found you
Your sad looks were on your pretty face
I know you still love me
I know you just can't leave me too

I tried to hold your hand
I tried to see your face
I saw the looks in your eyes, asking me to let you go
How could i let an angel fall from Eve's yard

I looked you in the eyes
You asked me to close them ,you didn't want me to see cry
How could I pretend to be blind 
When there is a shiney diamond between my hands

I can't let you go 
You are the candle of my life
Let's walk the hardest road holding hands 
Repeating everyday, for ever me and you


Details | Free verse | |

I Got Sisters

(orignal date post 6/18/2010)

Miltary wonder why i turn down there request, 
Listen to the delema and put down the jar, 
I got sister,

Violence to women, 
raise to be guilty, 
battling for resisence all in my life,
on all in one differenties, just for the right to be respected! , 
I got sister, 

Never was in a gang but was and close affliction with that,  
it is a different between a cop and a police man we made that stand  
cant help where man is born, 
 or who boyz are, lets remember how this was sayed 
Lost of my true loves' made me believe i sin with in sin, 
who would know, 
I got sister,

Raise to be maturer then the average 6th grade, 
so my sister took me to rate r movies to learn me up a few years, 
can you tell the different in my written,
 never drink or does that even matter when  
put listen how I speak.
I got sister,

Wrongs meet to be rights, 
never went hungry and just a place for me call home was
enough for me say, 
I got sister, 

A city lost in it on war and we call the iraq war, 
 war on terror, 
so what do you call the war in your on neighborhood, 
I got sister

I say to miltary it a bridge of gaps and it start in my community
the hated with in my soul makes me think of sister of brother that went through struggle. 
what reminder

Dear lietatuant i apologize to say my community is all i know,
can u see me from where you are,
and if so you know why we young folks point one figuare to sky because i and others lost some true solider so where our dog tags! ! ! 

some would say this would be skepticism but i has to ask dont we all have rights and arent we all born equal.

note to a mother from solider to son
when will we have peace.

what is a d.a.b young solider and 
that would be my first speech when and how long it took to rank as ever branch wrote.
I seen woman are moving up the ladder now from the orginal date,
can you say i wrote for nothing?
BorgoBaby!!!
Yes Sir!!!


Details | Free verse | |

But with the evil, came the good

All turned down to the worst
as the children lost innocence,
as the bums drank their last breath away,
as the man eating sharks finding their way,
to the over-crowded sandy beaches,
as the man turn to the woman
and gave her a slap across the face,
as the thef steals in the night,
as the coward goes behind his loved ones' backs,
as the oil lanterns spill over and burn the bridges
to salvation and paradise.
Something always happens to the good guy,
a knife in the back in the midst of dawn,
his woman leaving with another man,
he dying slowly of cancer,
or suffering from intoxication of the blood.
Poison. Poison, ravages his body,
oh, how could God let such things happen
to such a good man?
His life work, his social life, his nirvana
all destroied, burned away, turned to dust.

But with the evil, came the good.
Yes with time and time again
repeating itself in a circle of time,
across the crossed faces,
as blue eyed Death smiles
and as the girls grin,
Everything came into place,
Anyway with evil, came the good.
Indeed it had came right to his front doorstep.


Details | Free verse | |

Lasting Freedom

In the beginning I started off as just another nobody from another nowhere trying make it to somewhere as a somebody as everyone else. In the beginning I was BORN TO LIVE TO DIE, but in the process I was BRED TO LEARN TO SURVIVE. I became a CONVICT OF CHRIST through PAINFUL PLEASURES of my many struggles and strife's. I was a SINFUL SAINT but more of a sinner, mainly a loser and never a winner. I was once considered one of the best, now days I'm just trying to be lower than the rest, unseen in plain sight , NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS. I became lost in time through my many self-taught TRUE LIES of yet another LOST FIND growing up where few DREAMS LIVE , but many more DREAMS DIE. I soon got LOCKED UP but it was very educational because I LIVED IT and LEARNED FROM IT. I was given a choice to LIVE FREE OR DIE INCARCERATED, so I made that choice to be more loved than hated, so I became UNDER LOVE and OVER HATE, I learned to stop wanting and actually appreciate. Its been hard to change so I became a POET OF PAIN. That's when I learned the truth about those who think their dying for something but they might as well be living for nothing, because I learned that real truth comes from LIVING FOR SOMETHING because I ain't DYING FOR NOTHING. So now I am forever a W.O.L.F. once a warrior of lost freedom now trying to stay a warrior of LASTIN FREEDOM you know what I mean.


Details | Free verse | |

Kick


Kick.

A lot of questions arose in mind always and
Always those vanished from scene 
Today I gathered them in mind and called 
O I noticed you were ultimate piece.

Searches of bliss and peace and wealth of axis
Noted honestly by flowery pen with golden tips 
Blank paper was gladdened with ink and flip
Told me I am happiest gist.

Amidst dreadful knocks of jolts and downs
Started to notice: I want to be your wrist
And was urging please be dedicated to assist in this
In your cities and towns I am arrested with natural kiss.

Love you so sending this SMS from my pad
I believe modern tongs may deceive but honest is chips
I will be afternoon this to shake hand broadening teeth
Questions emerged from mind then will be all dismissed.  


(05/08/2014)


 


Details | Free verse | |

All Powerful, Broken Boy

Stretch and string me to a crucifix with barbed wire.
Display my failures and shames.
When you cast the stones, you cast them away as well.
And when I die, I will just come back new. Stronger.
My man Jesus knows what I mean all to literally. 
Bonded by the phoenix we burn as brothers.
Perhaps of the same kind in more ways than one.

I’m drinking 
Drinking
No more
Drinking some more
Drinking paint thinner.
I swallow blurred lines and let the smoke burn orange in the night like the relentless spot light in my cerebral cortex.

Smoking. 
Smoking cigarettes.
Insatiable lungs are getting heavy
Smoke more. More cigarettes to numb the senses. You appreciate the breath you have left that way. 
Barnyard, winter 
Shivering hand 
Quick smoke in Kansas,
After a quickie on a front porch in Georgia.
Smoke screen, blanket. 
I just like to keep cozy.

Habits or weapons?
I destroy myself but, I’ll be damned if don’t kill my pains and demons too.
I might even live.

All powerful
Broken boy
Perfect heavy hearts
Good intentions and the angels fall to a false hell. 
Hell is in earth and in our heads so, we've already been there. 
Confident in a dim room with shades on
Little to no company 
The smell of marijuana and hope
Hide the red glimmer of knowledge in your eyes.
Lone wolves roam back alleys 
Built for convenience
But, sometimes they become short cuts to gasps of clandestine exposure.

I am the world.
This world belongs to me.
Mission to hold it in hand and make it tangible.

Commence. Transmission over.


Details | Free verse | |

Take the Lead

God does not always respond the way one expects.



Its branches dressed in luscious green leaves
From the young look of the spring season
The cherry blossom tree had lost its sheen,
The petals of its flowers faded spread around its feet.

Of its pink blossoms, it had been so proud
Spreading their sweet fragrance thereabout 
Attracting couples young and old to sprawl
Expressing their love, such joy all about.

Now fewer people came by and when they did
Walked on by without even looking at it
It felt so alive in the presence of love, what a gift!
Had wanted this feeling never to end, but it did.

Said a little prayer to its Maker
Asked Him if he could bring back the flowers
It seemed to make people so happy
But nothing happened, and the tree felt lonely.

One day a young woman came by
She sat at its feet and began to cry
The tree felt in her the same sadness of loss
And wished it could comfort her somehow.

Said a little prayer again to its Maker
Asked Him how he could bring joy to her
A little wind began to blow suddenly
As if the Maker acknowledged its plea.

Its current detached one of its leaves
That fell on her right cheek upon a tear
With her fingers, she caught the leaf
Palm open, she looked at it without a speech.

A smile spread on her pink lips
For she saw in it a special gift
She wiped her face with the leaf
And turned her face up to the tree.

With a sparkle in her eyes, she said sweetly,
“Thank you. You lost all your flowers recently
Yet you gave me a gift of hope with this leaf
I know now I can take the lead.” 


By CarolineCécile, April 24, 2009.   


Details | Free verse | |

The Land of Sophia

Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night Are the Lies held worth it in time Only embracing The Veil of Logic The Truth is cast into shade where all vices are soon to be made For all of our dreams and dramaticies The Destruction Star poisons seas Far from This Galaxy among the stars I can see myself, And The One I've became Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night Caught in our lust, of forgetting trust I wonder can we break free of bound forever in the clutches of Lilith's Love Eden's Heart Who's desperate For Love Who's desperate For Light yet wallows in Blight and chooses to wait--forevermore The wait in Summer--An Eternity Lilith's Love Eden's Heart Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night We don't chose what's right I can't believe we are able to see this far Crawling in Shadows Never will breath find it's light Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night
**Mark Jansen, Guitarist, Male Vocals, and main songwriter of Epica**


Details | Free verse | |

Love Lost

I fell deep into his soul
So deep I almost drowned
My eyes became water wells
Overflowing into rivers
That flowed violently underneath me
I couldn’t stop it
I couldn’t scream
His silence was loud enough for the both of us
Still no one could help me
I was in too deep
We wandered in the forest of love
Happy as can be
Until I lost him


Details | Free verse | |

Three Days Hence

It's been seven years, I almost forgot-
not this day: but the distance we've climbed.
I couldn't remember my age, because it correlates
to years we've been apart.

I forgot to be apprehensive, this time it was sneaky.
It waited for the first happy holiday wishing
from some idiot to remind me.
   It was Good Friday. 
When God took your spirit home
and left me dying to know,
how to love him for his sacrifice
when he asked me to give up you?
How do I heal this death and rise with you in his arms?

I blasphemy, I know, but you loved him more
in sight of you that graceful place grows
pale in and foreign in mine eye.

Alas, I fail the test, I could not be as strong as you.

We knew it would not wait, but the parting was still to fast.
I sat in thought three days before your sleep and asked,
"In three days time my savior died, I wonder hence
what of my soul will rise with his?"

And sitting easter morning, 
  holding some idiots well wished basket,
I realised Three days passed.
  He took you home and left me lost on Friday morn,
I wailed my loss through Saturdays more,
         and Easter morning I felt your last hug, your kiss good bye.

I cursed my self for asking, if my soul would rise with his,
    because you, my love, are my soul and all ready there
there fore I am not strong enough to give this pain up 
       to honor his sacrifice and transcend, I sit still lost and wonder:

I believe and I love, but I don't know how to rise
I don't now how to live again. 
Faith crushed I don't think I can trust.
I am the shell of your grace trying once more 
to live in the love that failed me, as I failed the gift of his sacrifice.


Details | Free verse | |

Survival Of The Fittest

Dropped out of school
At an early age
Lived on the streets 
Because, I disgusted my mother
She thought I was a poor example
Of true Christian beliefs
At an early age 
She religiously drummed into me
‘blood is thicker than water’
And yet, 
Here I am today confused, lonely and hungry
No one protecting me
No friends
No family
No home to go too
Just, peoples eye for an eye,
tooth for a tooth mentality
Praying for the sun to shine
To feel some warmth again!
Sun rays of hope, lighting me up
To live through this darkness without fear
With a heart full of faith
No matter what happens to me, now!
If only I could drink my salty tears
It would sustain me for a lifetime
Your tears are worth nothing, around here
You’re classed as weak and venerable
Only attracting death
Your life worth nothing!
Save me from myself
I am my best friend
I am my worst enemy
My prayers and dreams
Lost in the wind
Blowing around like autumn leaves
The rain washing them away
Down the drain into the sewage
Rolling with the seasons
Year after year
Survival for the fittest!
Surviving on the love
Hidden, inside me
Being my strength and guide
My personal lifeline
In surviving this crazy world 
We all live in


Details | Free verse | |

His only saviour

A man who has lost his real true love
Endless tears streaming down like rain
Then just darkness, nothing - no pain
Forgetting love its just desires he craves

A woman he hears, her voice just fine
Seductive she whispers sensually in his ear
She word plays for him his sexual desires
Feeding fantasies his only type of love

He imagines her scent filling his air
Eyes deep blue his lost in her stare
Touching lips taste savoury and sweet
Hands caressing body oh sublime

Breathing fast and pumping heart
A craved desire his only sexual play
She takes him to places, erotic so real
Her sexyness just driving him insane

He can't imagine a life without it
An addiction relentless to his core
This seductive and aluring woman
His only saviour, a sex chat whore




Details | Free verse | |

Return to the Womb

Down in to the darkness deep
Slowly and delicately I now edge
In to the warmth so cold and bleak
In to the womb I once resided
In the mother I’d idolized
Wondering what did happen
Wondering what had changed
What had caused such death?
To cause such pain?
Still slowly moving, sneaking, 
I started faintly weeping
Why would we cause this?
Why did we not see?
Still I inch, well tears did fall
Till a light I did spy
Till a sprig I now cradle
Now I see, as I gently stop my deplore,
My mother will forgive
All the hurt,
The hate,
All the people that did denounce,
All she has provided
All that she cherishes
Yet she now grants;
Redemption 
Forgiveness
Unconditional love
All in the loud roar
Of spring


Details | Free verse | |

Let Me Go

Let Me Go!
I don't want this anymore!
I can't go to sleep at night,
all I seem to do is write.

Sometimes I read...
I read until I finish.
When I finally go to sleep,
I hear the sound of the alarm "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"

Oh gosh,
I can't handle this anymore.
I am going crazy here
and no one seems to notice it, my dear.

I cry myself to sleep.
telling myself everything will get better.
BUT IT DOESN'T!
And I know I mustn't

but I want that knife
just as much as I want that gun
I hate this world
and everything about this girl

She sings and tries to get attention
yet no one gives her the time of day.
She falls into the books she reads
no one knowing, it is escaping, she pleads.

This girl is me,
oh but you knew, right?
Since all I ever talk about is me!
Gosh, can't you see?

I'm my enemy!
I'm my own nightmare!
No one is hurting me!
It is me who shouldn't be let free!

Lock me up! 
Kill me!
That way I won't harm myself...
I'd like it if it was someone else

Please, do me the favor
and let me go
for no one can save this girl
from this cruel world.


Details | Free verse | |

I Never Find The Train

I am beggar I am thief I am Eve Buried by belief I am leader I am breeder I am Adam Narcissistic feeder I lie inside the doorway Unable now to die I see the tortured infant Yet still I cannot cry Was drafted for the Nam Saw sixty thousand dead They read the dead a psalm And then the worms were fed I fought for love of country Unable there to die The death of friends and comrades And still I'm asking why I've been a rogue receiver And a dark and doomed deceiver As I swam between two Islands In the sea of coral jade I walked through misty highlands In the land of heat and grief A soldier without purpose Who had lost his own belief I've lived so many lifetimes As I turned most every trick I lost my chance at right times 'Cause I played the game too quick I'm buried by the burden Of my sorrow and my shame For I was once surrounded And surrendered to the game Sisters of sincerity Released me from all blame They know the fleeting nature Of this sad and fickle fame I've won some feeble fortunes That still fuel the fire and flame No matter now what happens I will find another game The words of every prophet And the hardships of the lame The lepers left untreated As their blood boils down the drain I seem to find the station But I never find the train And every destination Seems to find the pouring rain I'm walkin' through the valley Filled with sorrow and a tear I'm deep into a forest As the dark is drawing near Some soldiers at the front Some marching to the rear I'm treading holy water And I need to have you here Now listen to me sweetness It is time for me to leave My mind is moving far too fast For me to stop and grieve Remember that the Universe Is far beyond a creed And man is just a minute part Of Universal seed I know I've done my giving To my friends and kindred dear It is the part of living That can make it all so clear I'm off to find the truth Before I lose my youth And if a truth be found It's through your patience so profound And now we've said our last goodbyes Yet not a tear falls from my eyes But just before I go to sleep Will be my time to weep For love and long emotion Is the potion for devotion Look at me Pretty woman Can't you see Look at me Your magic Moved the mountain And this seeker Now is free Look at me Pretty woman Can't you see Look at me For I no longer Want to die I'm man enough To cry Look at me Pretty woman I am free


Details | Free verse | |

FROM A DISTANCE

From a distance, I see you shining like a star.
The wind blows your hair and silken gown.
Suddenly,the darkness covered the ground.
I couldn't see your face, your image has gone.

I walk a mile,just to send you back in my arms.
I need to see your face, I need an air to breathe.
I wanna feel your embrace, I wanna burn high.
I need you here beside me...I need you alive.

I remember when I spread an ash in the wind.
I told myself, I'm setting you free.
Though letting you go kills my soul.
I let the wind blow and see you go.

But this boundary seems so hard to break.
No matter how far I move my feet,
I couldn't turn back your breathe.
Thinking of life without you makes me weak.

Today, I see the sun shines above me,
Waiting for the time you hold my hands.
To walk with you another miles.
To share love with you in paradise.


Details | Free verse | |

Tribute to the Wolf

Tribute to the Wolf

I am of your nation (Cherokee)
I have travelled far to find my family
 (They are scattered across America)
Boundaries are now gone
I know you as you know me

My Mother taught me so
I know you, ” a ni wa ya” 
(Of The Wolf Clan)
You speak in our tongue
But the words are of another

I am of the, “a ni sa ho ni” people 
(Of The Bear Clan)
Yet I listen to you young one
Your clan has been spread
Many left by the wayside
 (1000 died in the great walk)
Yet you are still many 
(The trail of tears)

The largest arm of our Nation
You are our protectors
The First New Moon of Spring, 
(Festival of Spring held in March)
Has past and the seven did well. 
( Seven Clans)
I will keep food for you till 
(There is always a welcome to others )
Green Corn dances the days away,
 ( Mid Summer festival)

Of the Stomp, Feather and Buffalo. 
(Tribal Dances)
Not eating, playing games.
Then to be cleansed by the water
Holding our Sacred Prayers
Of seven and four we hold dear 
(Seven Clans, Four compass points)

Our seven that scattered to the four 
(The scattering of the Cherokee)
While three levels we retain. 
( The three levels of existence)
The Owl looks on as the Cougar screams. 
(The sacred creatures of the tribes)
Our balance is retained therein.

Secretive yet open in their ways
We will dance in a great circle 
(The great circle was paramount in their beliefs)
Then let the Long man take our dreams. 
(Running waters, Rivers & Streams)
The little people will come if called 
(Belief in little people that are in their image)
They are our Brothers though so small
Hair that sweeps the very chaff 
( The little ones have very long Hair)

Remember they live in all things.
 (They live everywhere and in everything)
Guides to lost children they are. 
( They look after lost children)
As children they play with us.
Bringing happiness to a sad child, 
(The little ones have healing powers)
Creating purpose to the befuddled.
Treat them with respect
 (The little ones must be treated properly)
Bother them not with silly ways,
Or silly ways will stick in your mind

Should you see them be blessed!
Let not a loose tongue talk of them 
(If you see one don’t talk of it for Seven years)
As the westerner and his broken mirror
Take seven years to talk of them
Never speak to them after sunset.

Beware of false cures in this life 
( Medicine men beware of them)
The Raven Mocker, may be in disguise
 ( Raven Mocker was bad Medicine man)
Seek only the pure to be cured of ills
Seek not a cure from one that ails
 (Choose a medicine man that is healthy)
They are a false being in our eyes

Mix today with yesterday to be safe 
(Use Modern and old medicines together)
Only smoke with the fit one
Then drink the waters they give to you
May your ways with the Wolf be many
(Just a farewell to the Wolf Man I was talking to)
I shall read of you in the dens of the Great Bear.


Details | Free verse | |

TODAY I LOST MY JOB

Today I lost my job
I'm not going to despair
So don't expect me to feel sorry for myself
'Cause today I lost my stress
And all the troubles of my life
I'm going to rise again
Far greater than I was before

Today I lost my job
I'm not going to cry
So don't expect me to breakdown
'Cause today I lost my burden
And everything that is holding me down
I'm going to bounce back
Far better than I used to be

Today I lost my job
I'm not going to die
So don't expect me to kill myself
'Cause today I break free from my bondage
And every obstacle around me
I'm going to make it
Far beyond expectation.


Details | Free verse | |

Where Would I Go

Where Would I Go?
Where Would I Go? 

Where would I go
If I left Japan?
She is my Mother.
I am a cherry blossom.
I am one of thousands strong.
I am her rocky soil.
My feet are planted when
The ground shakes.
When Mother is angry.
 
Where is my anchor
In foreign lands?
Who understands the voices
That inhabit me?
Who will find me lost among strangers?
Who will know?
 
I will stand solid through the tumult.
Honor the lost by continuing them.
Mix the blood from my hands with theirs.
Suffer the fury to keep what is mine.
My tears.
My pain.
 
My country.
 
Mari Sloan
copyright 3/11


Details | Free verse | |

At the edge of life (part 1)

Joy, happiness, pain, sadness, love, passion, hatred, greed, tears, pleasure, grief, lies,
regret, pride, addiction, suicide.... 

Lots of emotions
Lots of feelings
Lots if confusions
Some are nothing but act, lies and performances
Some are truthful and painful
And Some are helpless and hopeless

I stand as a baby bird ready to fly
I blunder forth and back, Left and right
Where ever the wind takes me
 Just like the voices in my head moving inside my mind
The sound of the screaming nights, the stormy lands, the raging hungry oceans, the cries
in every drop in a rainy day and the broken heart of the earth.

The floating sea animals, the burning forests!! Because of the intelligent acts of human!

Thoughts, poetry, stories scrawl across the white empty pages... Meaningless words!!

Safe, secure!! Look at them no houses, no families, no shadows... Nameless!

They're hungry for hugs and kisses for a bosom and we get angry for getting a bad payday
and they aren't getting any!
Their only shield is the naked trees!!

The mask of blessings and the beliefs of belongings are wilting with the fires of
loneliness and guilt.

The music of the weddings
The screams with every new birth
The voices of the crashing bones when a body hits the ground...another suicide!
The shouts of a girl lost in despair holding her father in her arm screaming for help to
save him...another heart attack!


War, human, peace, god!!

Voices of thunders - god creation - Reach from the farthest, vast skies burning houses
trees and cities.

Human creation crashing the skies blowing homes, women, babies... Blowing them into pieces!

Soulless men!!

Somewhere in this world in this minute a girl weeps
A child cries
many dies
somewhere in this world humanity fades
Some are killed
Some are hurt
Some lost in dreams 

Lots of voices I can't handle 

The thoughts of an addict living with a blue hole in his arm barely losing it
The thoughts of a daughter brutally beaten from an alcoholic father
The thoughts of an hungry child of war dreaming for a family to love him
And the thoughts of many more

I should have helped them all, but I can't! 


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Lost feeling all this oppression, I know the Devils right behind me... I can feel him breathing down my neck. Running away from sin following God's voice keep him in my heart turning depression to rejoice.  I feel I'm losing control so i get down on my knees and pray for my soul, I still dont know all the things i have to do or where i gotta go counting on Christ to lead me. he will always guide me, instead of running and hiding i'll stand firm right beside him. I got alot to say with God speaking thru me, im an example and im glad he chose me. He lived and died on a tree arose three days later and in heaven hes residing, abiding listening to his will sanding on his path and thats where im gonna chill, Let me be real take a second to explain how im feeling and not dealing with the devils games he tries playing. I left him behind cuz i ran him over just the other day yea i like it that way.

When im Lost feeling all this depression, I know Jesus will lead me in the right direction... Count on him the bible gives you the instructions, he will take your fear away he aint playing now.. 

When im Lost feeling all this depression, I know Jesus will lead me in the right direction... Count on him the bible gives you the instructions, he will take your fear away he aint playing now.. 

I have a God who sent his son and took the stripes, he Paid the price for my life, a price he didnt have to pay but he loved us so much he couldnt let us die... Jesus you took the weighgt and you put it on yourself, theres no greater love then to lay down your life for your friends. and you did it for me even though im undeserving and I wanna thank you so much. Everytime I fall you open my eyes and show me where I went wrong, you have forgiven me and I have another chance to teach the things you taght me. Lord I am your vessel please use me to your will help me to do the things for which im called let me hear you voice through the Holy Spirit Lord, reach down and touch me.

When im Lost feeling all this depression, I know Jesus will lead me in the right direction... Count on him the bible gives you the instructions, he will take your fear away he aint playing now.. 

When im Lost feeling all this depression, I know Jesus will lead me in the right direction... Count on him the bible gives you the instructions, he will take your fear away he aint playing now..


Details | Free verse | |

Ocean of life

Tossed  within the ocean of life.
Tripped by its shells.
Lost in the sands of time.
Tangled in sea weed.
Arrested by its reefs.
Released by its tides.
Caught still by a fisherman's net.
nearly reeled in but released by the tides.
Blinded by the sun,penetrating the merciful tides.
Staying afloat a difficult task.
A pearl nearly  reached in the mouth of a clam.
A hand blown away by the current ,a super fan.
A whorl pool of anxiety,caused by a near capture of a jewel so fine.
A life tossed and lost in the sand of time.
Mercy and struggle combined.
Pearls of this ocean still one can find.
Tossed and lost many in this ocean.
Attempt to stay afloat countless devotion.
Struggling for breath,gasping for air.
What tear can be seen in this oceans lair?

                         tossed  
                         tossed
                         tossed


Details | Free verse | |

Grievings

I feel so secure when you are near
And so alone when you’re not here.
You tell me that you will soon be leaving
My mind fills with fear, my heart begins grieving.
I’m so afraid you’ll walk out that door
Like so many others before
Those who went away and never returned.
I think by now that my heart should have learned.

-That a love is easier lost than found
-That dream bearing ships soon run aground
Yet I still feel so lost when you’re not around.


Details | Free verse | |

Wasted Generation

Ghfdgjbvcgjnm


Details | Free verse | |

The Dream Captured

A deep sleep guided me to the land of quizzical
Where the hallucination acted immortal as the souls from delusional
Those who ever filled the classic story of our time
Declared their presence in the shackles of uncertainty

I embraced my desire within
I found my anguish bloomed betwixt
I sank into the soul of crisis
Sensing the seconds of my fragility

Those lifeless souls grasp me there
Grasp depth as they would never be seen, again
A moment I was awakened from the dream
Along with the shadow which deserted to be fade

And the sense still there.. obscure...
My longing which buried by despair
Melting as the tears fell down
And let the dots of my dream be a dwelling place for my stained soul 

And let those retentions sealed in every pieces of the journey



Author's Note:
For the deceased beloved Father (November 13, 2002)
For the deceased beloved Sister (February 27, 2011)


Details | Free verse | |

Look Around You

Look around you
The world is already at an end
When the Mayans said that the world was going to end
They didn't mean a world destroyed by flare, quake, or salvation
But rather a world full of broken relation
That possibly, it wasn't a literal interpretation
But a figurative analysis of this falling nation
Are we not all the same people, the same human
But we'd rather live a life divided
A life divided by the color of our skin  
What is war but greed to keep the amount of money left for our kin
Life is no longer cherished
The earth used for our own experiments until its resources perished
Genocide, assassinations, and murder supported for a "better cause"
Who are we to judge the abominations of others when there is flaw in our own laws
We continue to redefine what is socially accepted
Making a gateway for divorce, abortion, and legal prostitution
Rather than fixing what has been so psychologically rooted into the minds of this generation
We look to cover up past mistakes with a newly corrupted translation  
Girls look for sex because of a lack of love from their fathers
Society tells boys to make use of this advantage 
Treat girls as objects rather than human beings with emotions
And we later ask ourselves
How did these boys and girls ever become such bad parents
Our government shouts democracy
But isn't that really just a cover up to keep us appeased
It's most convenient when the majority stays quiet 
Because only those in power can say that this earth's a heaven
To the majority, this earth is already a hell
The human race is so arrogant
Believing that they are the most superior in this world
That they can live without the mercy of God who should be in control
Look around you
The world is already at an end


Details | Free verse | |

RETURNING A HYMN TO YOU

Your voice was born from twilight's
Breast.
Your name stole the mystery
Of the night.
Ambrosial hand of gold
Bowled along the white
Surf
To glorify the lost souls
Of a time
Winding off with each chord,
the locked secrets of the world.
Orpheus!
You are the Sun's chosen
And the Sirens are trying
To steal a song 
To bewitch the seamen.
Time is trembling among
Melodies and laments.
A lost lover behind the
Turning light. 
Your silence is calling 
The Muses
To carry you beneath
The sky's festival.
Maybe now you are near her
again.
Father of melody 
Your untouched Lyra awaits
To form sounds of time,
To bring up an era lost.
Taming the darkness
You offered a soul to the cold.
Fingers divine,
Heart of gold!
As near was the end
You stood in front.
A bending moment was your Fate's circle
Following you 
As condemnation for the centuries to come.
Journeys across the Sun's arms
As a prayer for the dreams you loved,
As a plaint for those you lost.
Still, your voice travels along the sea
To justify the unexpected turns
Of Time.
You, Orpheus, are the star,
The lighten flame,
Across the fields of gold,
Calling your love to come
With unreachable promises you hallowed.

This poem is for Orpheus, the Greek Heroic Legendary 
figure who charmed even the God of Darkness 
with his music. The story of Orpheus is unique, 
showing love dimentions, his Hymns have made 
an impact to world's music over the time. 

Valeria Iliadou, Greece
 


Details | Free verse | |

God Saw My Distress and Healed Me part 4

This question drives me up and down the walls
I know for certain that God has answered my calls
I can’t hang up on Him…He’s so brilliant
And I’m so little compared to Him…
Maybe I’m little in size and very insignificant compared to the most High
He gives me quite a natural high
He brings me back home and kisses me good night
Without His love, I’d be lost like a sheep losing his shepherd
I feel like I’m separated to God
As if God and I are on both sides of the coin…
Our oceans don’t collide with each other,
But He does make huge tidal waves…
And I make baby waves that swerve up and down
Like a wave’s movement, my life seems to have its low points and high points
But, when I build enough energy, I glide higher than the clouds
Though, unfortunately, I’ve only been dreaming this
Then, I collapse into the sand...my face rubs against it and I have scrapes all over
Sand and water do mix well, but afterwards, the sea shore’s weight will pile up on the bottom of the ocean floor
I can’t imagine how many grains of sand there are on Earth
There are countless amounts of ants on Earth as well
Trillions and trillions of them are in existence
It’s amazing how plants take in Carbon Dioxide
And we breathe in oxygen…
God is a fantastic creator and He did carve His creations pretty well
God saw my distress and He healed me
When I think about Him, I’m speechless and can’t say much
He’s made out of love and He bubbles me up with excitement
I haven’t given Him the credit of working miracles in my life…
But, I don’t want to divorce God…I must propose to Him like a wife
Does to her husband…I want to submit to Him
He made the sunset, the moon and stars
Look! He even made the planets and He healed our scars
He made the flowers, the roses and the creeping bugs
Look! He even made leaves for our eyes to see…
He made the change of seasons
God saw my distress and healed me
God made the wild cats, bears, reptiles
He made us have a brain that is as neat as black and white tiles
God healed me…and I’m simply glad He did so
God wiped out my distress…and He simply dressed me with happiness and He’s in high spirits to see me grow

 ~ Inspired by the band of Evanescence’s song: Never Go Back 
~ God inspired me to write this poem…


Details | Free verse | |

Loneliness

glassy-eyed people
moving as in a dream
looking without seeing
seeing without looking

utter hopelessness
pervading their insides
filling them with despair 
and pessimism

lustreless eyes
no inner joy
just a deep emptiness
stifling their souls

dried-up people
shutting others out
shutting themselves in
lost in their loneliness


Details | Free verse | |

Every Day I Die

Every morning when I awake
the dream over
then the nightmare begins
And as I regain consciousness
suddenly a dark cloud descends on me
and fills me with pain and dread
deep within.

For each day I face a mountain
one I have to climb
My will and motivation
are so hard to find.

My mind blighted
by a pain I cannot explain
I nothing more than a child that no one wants
left out in the dark
cold and rain.

I live life in limbo
haunted by plaguing memories
Wondering what went wrong
and why I can't be the man I used to be.

Umbilical chord severed
from the human race
without no love in my life
life is such a lonely place.

I just exist never missed
No matter how I try
every day I die.



Peter Dome.copyright.2014. Jan.


Details | Free verse | |

Bullets rain tears

Young and innocent they went to school
 Expecting to learn and play
 Never in anyones wildest of dreams
 Did we expect that day
 For a rain of tears to shell them
 From one lost deep to sin
 But heavenly hosts came down for them
 Releasing them from him
 The devil he did have his day
 But God in end dost win
 For noubt will be lost but these young lives
 Will not be gone in vain
 The laws of the land will change in ways
 For it must not happen again
 
Those who reign must stand on this
 Take stance and make a difference
 No one should be able to take a life
 With intent nor mindless innocence
 For even when with madmans mind
 You cannot be left to mingle
 How can you be able to walk in shop
 Purchase guns and not be liable
 Actions speak far louder than words
 And if we let just one slip through
 Without accounting for their sin
 It might well be me or you
 
For on anyone these bullets
 Might be named to fall upon
 So make a difference – make a change
 Add your name – petition
 The whole wide world mourns in shame
 An Amnesty is long past needed
 Write your letters – use your vote
 Act now while it is fresh
 And pray for the souls of all those lost
 That each by the Lord be blessed
 Also for those who’ve lived through this
 That they might find a way
 To find the strength and courage
 To step out further each day


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Lost
Lost in thought.
Lost in prayer.
Lost in life.
I know not where I am going.
I know not why I care.
Who can know what tomorrow brings.
Who can foretell the future.
No one can for sure.
Not I.
No Not I.
All that I know is that I am lost.
And find the words I know to be inadequate to tell.
To tell you how I feel.
To tell you how I care.
I can only hope my prayers will reach you.
I can only dream that you'll understand.
For if I am lost you'll find me.
For that is what you promised you would do.
I believe you'll keep your promise.
Because you have before.
I will close my eyes now.
And rest in fact that when you find me.
I am lost.
Lost no more.


Details | Free verse | |

No More

No More

Feeling abrupt,
Like a volcano ready to erupt
My soul a hurricane swirling
Around my empty mind and cruel
And forgotten soul.

Pain, feelings so strong,
It cannot be described
On a page with a pen.
I snatch the lunar eclipse
Away,
And beauty of the heart goes away,
No sight, no sound;
No pain, no sorrow;
No smile, no frown;
No anything, no everything.

A soul so black,
A heart so weak,
That love is long gone,
And will never return.

No pain is worth feeling,
And no pain such that I hold
Is worth writing away,
No use in finding love again,
When faced with heartbreak
One thousand times before.
No more pain, no more sorrow.

I shall go and sleep away the time,
Till Death comes calling my name,
And lilacs and violets litter my way,
And a single ruby hearted rose
Dries up and slowly dies away.

-10/3/2013-


Details | Free verse | |

Healing mountain

Sitting on a tranquil mountain top
as I do from time to time
looking down at the view before me
listening to the calming silence
to heal my battered soul
and clear my troubled mind.

I look down to the bottom
to remind me
of how far I have come
and where I used to be
The mountain only exists
in my imagination
but I go there when I need
when live's battles get too much
It heals and restores me
once more like before
free from
stress and anxiety.

Peter Dome.copyright.2012.


Details | Free verse | |

Once I Believe

Nothing's here
I have a gun and empty bottles to play a tune
But i hold myself inside the box
One gun on hand 
Depression is crawling trough me
Like a ghost i scream and get no attention 
A story full of joy
I see it fade away in time
I realize this life is gone to waste
As the clock ticks 
The words slowly fade
Suicidal instincts 
I sure love the smell of fall
Im not waiting for tomorrow
Yet i desire it
Hoping for a warmth sun rising
I get cold dead night and moon to vow 
When all seems hopeless 
For the time i know the devil have me
Humiliated in front of thousands
Thousand insects i once called friends
Family left me long ago
Solitude is quite admirable
Save the prayers mother
Stop screaming father
Welcome home depression
I surely missed you

For now im alone in the room
All i hear is empty bottles sing
I sure want to die tomorrow
But now is when i hold this gun
I shake to fear
Fear i will pull this trigger
I deny i lost it all
But sure don't believe in god now
Please give me some hope
Open your eyes im not alone
Tell me you heard my empty prayers
Please make this devil stop taunting me
A smile to the darkness
Just like good old times
I love hating this feeling
Simply because is the only thing i fear
Death
Will you help me?

I lost the meaning of this day
Found the meaning on the gun
I hate the choices we've made so far
Reclaim lost hope
Surely i will miss the hands of the wind
Numb state were strength shoots the gun
The devil has me now
Im a sinner
Find me on my worst act
My blood painted the walls
All i see is the darkness consuming my body
As im dragged to hell
As you sleep tonight
I fade ti'll tomorrow
Hopefully i died

Once more welcome tomorrow
Just another nightmare...


Details | Free verse | |

Alone In This Quiet, Perfect Home

Bedroom door is closed;
I'm feeling so alone.
Even though I'm laying bed,
I don't feel like this is home.
Even though I'm laughing with my friends,
I still feel alone
Even in this quiet, perfect home.
Lord, we need You.
Thank You.
In Your Name,
We pray.
Amen.


Details | Free verse | |

Life's Wholeness

Life and a living being
can never be separated
See one and you see
the other
Destroy one and you destroy 
the other
Pluck a flower from a tree
and dissect it 
to understand it
You no longer have that flower
as it existed
on the tree
You may have an understanding
of the relationship
between the components
of a dead flower
but you will have forever lost 
the totality of the experience
of the LIVING flower
To see the flower in 
its completeness
BECOME THE FLOWER
and understand a reality 
that can only be experienced
but can never be put into words
for the whole is more than
the sum of its parts


Details | Free verse | |

A wilted Rose

I am nothing but a rose
A red one, a yellow one or even a black one
Whichever color you do prefer
It makes me that which I have always been
Nothing but a rose
A rose, once in full bloom
Once full of love, filling everyone with laughs
A rose, now so withered
Withered at the way my gardener treated me
Having been attracted to a lilly
He left, for the great ocean
And made of me
A wilted rose
Still, I am nothing but a rose
I am what you see
Whichever colour you prefer
All frail and fragile
Waiting for the end of the day
When the night will fall on me
And closed will be my petals
Hopefully, in my new garden
I shall meet my old gardener
Hopefully, to my fragrance he shall be enamored
Hopefully, he shall tend me
To grow into a strong and blooming tree
A rose, nothing but a rose
Say, if you do blow across my way
Remember,
Remember of my fragility!


Details | Free verse | |

A Blue Boy's Death Wish

A fragile mind breaks 
Wake upon the rock laden shores
A muffled heart begs to echo
Whispers lost among a velvet chamber

Dusk comes premature time and again
Dropping the curtain on an optimistic sunrise
If you never witness dawn
There is no tomorrow

Always the dreamer aches
Never awake to make real what he desires
The restless corpse walks blind
Dead ends seem fitting for one of the kind

Lost in the labyrinth of strangling vines
Love is the motive and the weapon
Taking root in throats dry from weeping
Sprouts of amnesia in place of smiles
A garden called heartbreak holds onlookers captive
The comfort takes hold, sets in the bones weary of searching
A plea for rest lands on deaf ears

The hollow boy tires of himself
The last request he will ever make
"End me"
Lost and tired
He wishes to be weak no more


Details | Free verse | |

A Game Of Chess

Shall we adjourn from the 
morning morgue
For pizza and a game of chess?

Rays Curve Along The Earth

It is daybreak
With morning comes the 
shining off the layers of the 
lake
And mourning the opening of 
the floodgates
We went down to the coffee 
table
Skipping past the cherry tree
This tree, it served us fruit and 
oak
To love and to live beside the 
wood
And there we played a game of 
chess
[/i/The bishops had fallen but 
the castle was gone
The White king shoved the 
guardsman pawn
He fell soon after
To roars of laughter
They all adjourned to the 
morgue
To the final morgue]

Tea for two and two for tea
Still Café Paris for you and me
We lounged in striped sky blue 
beach chairs
Our raking gazes grazed the 
summit of the hill
I would not have sat still
But for the girl that had lain
The girl wreathed in flame
Scratched her shoulders and 
laughed with the rain
I wondered: did I dare?
Hold her hand and descend into 
the uncharted lair?

Gears and Cogs

It was between April and June
I began to build my bicycle
Fitted in a third wheel
By then I couldn't tell what was 
true
What was real?
Took her down ol' King's Road
Gave her a short spin
But for the third wheel she 
would've broken
She survived, just barely, a 
token
The token piece remained 
unbroken

I BUILT a house of upside down
I KNOW that lost is lost but 
found
She was my house of upside 
down
I built her and she built me
We built each other in the 
machine

Gliding Through The Winter 
Wood

It is nightfall
With dark tags along the 
midnight sun
Unwanted but unaffected
She shifts the curves along the 
earth
And ruffles up the winter wood
Where I have been waiting
Where I have wasted many a 
night praying
And on the tree bark painting
For love and for my love
And the taking of an oath and 
tea

What then shall the leaves fall
From thy hand onto the snow
And when shall there be 
daylight once more?
For now I shall be gliding
Gliding through the winter 
wood

Dark amongst the silver white
I am king and you are queen
In an endless game of chess


Details | Free verse | |

The Rat Race

As a child, I had much to do
Crushed it, when I tried to grew
Participant of the Rat Race, I am
Suddenly everything was scattered away

Now when I try to think of you
And calculate what went wrong
Where was my mind that day?
Why everything went so wrong?

After endless struggle, when I dream
Those equations , cry and scream
My demand curve went wrong way
And that was the end of everything 

The sweet little Tom & Jerry
still playing with no worries
Then my mind cries and says
those days are so far away

Every-time when I think of it
I think as I'm a liar and cheat
After this endless bargaining 
Life ends here.... Screaming


Details | Free verse | |

UN HAPPY

 I thought blood was supposed to be 
thicker than the glass of water you drink  

But this glass of water and few pain 
medications plus a couple of stress pills 
serve its purpose 

With my body feeling numb with a lot of 
ballistic thoughts still feeling like love lost 
all over again  running thru my veins

So many negative thoughts in my mind I 
Can’t erase the image even the turbulence 
of this plane can’t change my direction

 Summer breeze feels so good outside but 
my  inner thoughts inside of me  are so 
glowing hot a blind mind can feel my 
pains

A trouble heart a trouble mind can’t depart 
from my trouble past still have lot of anger 
and my feelings are  built with gush  of 
emotional  insert in my head

You will know my deepest thoughts that 
agonizing me everyday day to day time to 
time/ My  unconscious mind it runs  tricks 
on me my/  illusion are perhaps on my 
mind is playing tricks on me once again 
time and time again "JCMT"


Details | Free verse | |

The Same Reservation Road

I walk through the reservation valley of alcoholic death/ 
I fear no darkness among my own for the light breathes life on its own through my every breath/ I can no longer fit in for I need to stand out above the rest/
 I can no longer follow, I got to be the host of my own because Im tired of being the guest/
 
I want to be the writer I dont want to be the reader/ 
I want to be the artist with the brush, I want to create I want to finally be my own leader/
 I want to be able to follow society's rules because I am tired of being a cheater/
 I want to be the supplier because Im tired of being the seeker/ 

I guess life is what I make it/ Forgive less as much as I still continue to forsake it/
 My life is just a jolt but at times I feel death shake it/ Grab my emotions by the reins and straight earthquake it/ I try and fix my problems until someone comes by and breaks it/
 but this is my time because Im still young so this young opportunity in life I must Take it.
 
I got to hold my head held high from being low/ 
I got to stay lost until I find my own being my purpose of another young lost soul/
 I cannot stop because Im too tired of staying stuck I must stay on go/ 
This my life now I know it my story waiting to be patiently told/ 
This my life now I got to let it un fold/ Let it slowly but surely grow/ 
Im just a hidden bomb waiting for my poetry to blow/ 
EVERYTHING I DID OR DO IN LIFE NOW IS SOMETHING I CHOSE? 
I GOTTA CHANGE BECAUSE I JUST CANT KEEP WALKING THE SAME RESERVATION ROAD.


Details | Free verse | |

Tongue Tied

I can’t write today
my tongue is stuck in my cheek
the pen’s dry
powdered ink like sifting sand 
on greased paper flees.

The well is dry.
Pump priming is required
and my feet are stuck
with my mind and arse to the inside
of a dry mouth.

Click, click, click
the false keys chirp
mimicking the old black
typewriter..
chitter chatter.

Sunbeams have lost their perk
caffeine has lost its BUZZ
the dust bunnies are playing stick ball
between my post caterpillar eyebrows 
even flaxseed oil doesn’t damp the dry mouth.

Perhaps, I’ll have a cold one poured?
Prime numero uno..
grease the wheels of mediocrity?
Sharpen the nib of my font?
“Oh do stop that incessant gibber!”



Details | Free verse | |

Songs of Sorrowed Hearts

What makes this world go around?
What makes Death walk the Earth
and God sit on his throne and watch over us?
What makes love go around with such favour
and strut along side lonesome avenues?
What does a widow, a motherless child, a Vietnam veteran
and a boy who has had his fare share of heartbreaks,
all have in common with each other?

They were all promised a beautiful life,
free for all to love, free from the pain of betrayal
and anger.
We are what make the world go around,
I am the poet who sits and looks at love walk down the street,
and watch the blind eyes stare deep in my soul.
I am the poet, that feels the pain of a heart torn in two.
He his the poet who writes of smiles, to forget the frowns
and tears.
She is the poetress that writes of her success,
in order to forget her past that tortured her soul,
now he and she walk together writing poetry
sharing their love and smiles with the world.
But with smiles, also comes frowns,
with hearts full of love, comes hearts full of sorrow,
and someone has to stay behind and write of the bad
has to write and compose the songs of the sorrowed hearts.

We are all given love,
but it takes some whole lives to understand
the dark mystery that tags along with beautiful love.
Someone has to suffer the pain,
someone has to sacrifice his or her happiness,
so another poet can feel the beauty in happiness and pain.
I am willing to sacrifice my time and heart,
for my fellow poet to feel the smiles grow on their faces
and feel love uplift their heart,
while the black cancer tears apart mine.
I will go on, with what is left of my heart and smile,
and go into my room of creativity
and compose the songs of sorrowed hearts
for future poets, like that came before me.


Details | Free verse | |

Wedding Bells in Neverland

The Lost Boys wear our worn-out ties
As we give our man away
The man of the hour  wipes his hands
On his sleeves
And has one last pep talk with his old man
He watches her as she walks 
Down the aisle
Someone brought their violin
He kisses her cheek and shakes hands with her
Father
She whispers, “I love you, Dad” before the
Wedding bells ring

His bride, she is beautiful, radiant in white
She hands her flowers to the 
Maid of honor
When the last note of the canon dies
The whole place smells like roses, and the 
Preacher starts to speak
No one dares utter a single sound to 
Challenge their eternal peace
The doves cry out in happiness;
They fill the air
With joyful song
The fish in the sea found his one true love
And today she’ll take his
Name

Then it’s time to say their vows. They look
Into each other’s eyes
He vows to never leave her, and to always
Treat her right
She’s asked to love him always, and to this
She says, “I do”
Then a cheer rises high to meet
The man and his bride
And the Lost Boys blow our kazoos

The two ride away late into the night
After hours of dancing 
And fun
With a salute to our captain, and a bow 
To our queen
Our sparklers light up the sky
We bid them farewell with cake on our faces
As the newlyweds tell us
Goodbye


Details | Free verse | |

Time travel

I had lost you,
my only reason for breathing,
so I built a machine,
made with heavy tear drops and a broken heart,
wondering will this really work?
I spent so many years building this machine that might cure my heart,
I only have so little time left.

It was finally built after so many years,
I had no idea the time that had passed,
all the tears that had dripped from my heavy eyes,
the blood pumped through my veins from my warned out heart,
but I shall find you again.

I travel to the past and back to the future,
where are you?
as I wheep my soul dry,
on the edge of giving up like a man ready to jump of a cliff,
I gave one last hope and lost myself in my thoughts,
I travelled forever till I had no time,
last breath I had left,
I closed my eyes and saw your face.

I spent all my life travelling,
for what?
when all I had to do was look into my heart because thats where you always were,
right inside my heart,
I smiled as my life ended and I grabbed your hand and we lifted for eternity.


Details | Free verse | |

Braid Hairs

Why are you so devilishly addicting?
I come back from you,
It looks like I'm on drugs:
High and drunk,
Out of my mind.
The demons inside us braid hairs
Until we're peaceful meadows apart,
Nuclear wars together.


Details | Free verse | |

Longing

Today I remembered you 
When I put on my boots
And when I saw our team logo
on the jersey of some dudes
Then during lunch, in the restaurant
for your inevitable love for meat
And later because of a picture
in the book I taught
My body was there, my mind was not
Then  in the bulged eyes
 of a guy on the billboard
In the email draft that was never sent
In the shower  I'd love we shared
And on this empty side of my bed


Details | Free verse | |

R I P Whiteny Houston --tribute poem--

It’s such a shame that your life had to end so soon,
You had true talent and vocals rare in bloom,
But then somehow it all went a way,
You changed and got into some bad things,
And now the world has lost a legend.
Perhaps, though you were lost long ago
When your mind went haywire,
And the drugs stole your life.
Why did you do it?
Wasn’t everything you had enough?
What wasn’t there that made you decide to ruin it all?
I cannot comprehend why someone with such skills as thee
Would waste such a precious gift from God
And squander it until it was no more.
Perhaps, If God had warned you,
Maybe you would have changed your ways…
Perhaps, perhaps not; we shall never really know
But the memory I, and hopefully many, have
Will be of the greatness you once shined in
You will still be an inspiration, a lesson, and a legend to all who know you
Your talent will be remembered as something that was real,
A marvel to dwell upon
For how many nowadays can claim their voice is true?
Not many, some, but not many
May you light shine on those who can,
May your inspiration lift others.
And may you live on as the legend you are…


Details | Free verse | |

Why I Write Poetries Part 1

She was an Indian Barbie, long curly lash 
And brown complexion. The hair was 
Perfect, shiny black and she had on a small 
Pink gown to cover her 36-24-36 body. 
Last seen, she still had on her high heeled shoes.

Oh how my daughter cried, “Dolly, Dolly, 
Where are you?” when she found out she left, 
It on the basketball court’s grounds. She took
It along, against her mom’s frequent reminders,
When grandpa brought her with him for a walk. 

She cried horribly, my wife mailed me. Tears 
Rolling down her cheeks even as her mother 
Scolds, tears not for the accusatory words 
But for her Dolly who is gone. Gone away,
Lost and probably in another child’s hands. 

My wife, with a guilt ridden grandpa’s idea,
Told her Dolly wasn’t lost after all. In fact 
She was on her dolly way to dad now who
Works onboard a ship, sailing far, far away 
So he can buy milk and nappies for small kids.

“Punta sya dun kasi lungkot si Daddy di ba?” 
(She went there because Dad is lonely right?)
She asks in between sobs of her mom, who 
Can only nod and kiss her on the forehead
And whisper a “Yes,” the whitest of white 
Lies meant to comfort a grieving, sad child. 

Fast forward to the time I talked to my child
On a long distance call, from a very public booth.
She asked me if Dolly was with me, forewarned, 
I can only sigh a cheerful aye. “Talaga? tignan ko nga!”
(Oh yeah? Let me see her then!) 
Of course she must have meant to talk to her.

I didn’t hesitate, all so suddenly I knew what to do,
Then and there I belted a falsetto, uncaring 
Of the Island people around me, for in that one
Sparkling moment, I was talking to my child not as 
A father but as a long lost friend who misses her.

“HAH! Helloooo Dolly, andyan ka sa barko ni Daddy?”
(Hello Dolly, are you there on Daddy’s ship?)
She asks me after my high pitched hello, asking 
with such gasped longing, with such breathless relief, 
with such childlike delight and innocence. Even as  
Eavesdroppers wonder what harm befell my balls!

The rest of that dreamy conversation is lost to me now.
The wonder of her tone, her concern, her yearning for 
Her doll is all that remains, of the father and daughter
Transcending bounds of love, blasting colors and
Rainbows to a gray span of reality, even for a while.
---Part 2 on my poem list please read too long to post


Details | Free verse | |

Difficult Trials -Part 1-

Turn the wheel
Out of curiosity
I'll be generous...you'll receive
Something special...something to make you whole
Though the trials you must run through
Are a great struggle that can easily
Pull you down
And I want to erase your frown

You will feel way better about yourself
Just trust me...take my hand...
I'll encourage you to have a satisfying time
Just for your own liking
We'll be hiking
Those somewhat difficult hardships 
Together for eternity 
We'll spend time in the future 
Together in unity

*******he sea...Let's flee and be free!
LOOK how nice you look!

Trample those insufferable nuisances
That dare put you down
To the sea floor
I'll push them to the core!

Feel free to walk the 
Road of Recovery 






 


Details | Free verse | |

Tell Me Please

If you are a man
and tomorrow you wake as woman...
would your outlook on life change?
could you live the same as you do...
think as you have, dream or work as you did yesterday?
are the words that you say all of sudden changed?
Why...

If you are adult
and tomorrow you become young...
can you honestly say you would take the wisdom?
or is it an opportunity to enhance your life...
helping others, learning more, laying on the grass and looking  at the sky?
can the steps you'd love to re-track take a different fork in the road?
Why...

If you are a color
and tomorrow its a new one...
will the harsh realities cease you now have to go through?
should society be as flexible as you...
understanding, feeling the inabilities placed on you?
will fair become a heavier word you want to share?
Why...

 If you committed a crime
and tomorrow it was overturned....
would you see the error and show those lost in your tracks?
teaching those who come in your path....
telling, showing everyone the ending they are going to?
can you accept the rejection coming toward you?
Why...

 If you love someone
and tomorrow that person changed...
would your love still remain?
deep in the soul is exactly the same...
would you leave because of their hair, sex, or last name?
won't your love stand the test of time?
Why...

 If you were hurt
and tomorrow peace came to your life....
will you be thankful for every moment after?
grateful for the pain since it brought back to feeling whole...
would you realize it cleansed your soul?
How loud would you yell to let others know?
Why...

 If you were rich
and tomorrow you lost everything you own....
could you find a way to make sure it doesn't happen again?
realizing the person within...
could you reach out and understand?
should this happen to any human?
Why...

 If you lived outside
and tomorrow you'd loved to come home...
could you turn away anyone in this poem?
since we all could fall in every category...
isn't home in every one of our hearts?
does it really matter where you stand?
Why...

 If you have a belief
and tomorrow, poof the world changed...
how would you feel of facts that moved you?
everything started from that once was rule...
could you change or continue to be hardened and cruel?
would you forget what love really means?
Why....

 tell me please...

 

-Namaste

 

Symphony


Details | Free verse | |

Lonesome Tragedy

Name: Rightful Jack
Date: 08/11/1934

Dear Reader:

I see the lonesome, washed up, tragedy...
My people, the children, meant nothing to them...
Sacrifice my palms with the blood of one thousand sons...
Analytic substances, known as the air we breathe...
There is no longer peaceful currents, the sea is now a liquid black...
The storms were greasy, the fires were oblique, every word was bled...
They always perceived error in our effort...
But no harlequins were in our already dead, hellish survival...
No one else can be held liable...
The undeniable stench of the deceased mothers...
One man regurgitates his bowl of slop...
Another procreates his remedies of the red drenched taupe...
I love this poem :')


Details | Free verse | |

Silence

Silence
falls as the windows close to cold air
when the baby sleeps she sits alone
hands idle
unable to write music or even listen
to the symphonies in her head
she is lost in the silence
more lost than she knows
careless pregnancy 
 she hides in the exhaustion of young parenthood
unable to embrace personal success
and her life will pass
in this most useless way 
her music unheard her voice unsung


Details | Free verse | |

You Are My Best Friend

Yes, you are my best friend,
and I'll never feel lost again.
You magnify my heart and soul.
You keep my love alive.
You magnify my life.
If only I lived for today,
I know I will be okay.
You are my amazing grace.
My spirit is healed,
and my hands can now feel.
I'm alive.
Yes, you are my best friend,
and I'll never feel lost again.
You magnify me,
and open my eyes where I could see,
gave my first breath so I can breathe.
I'm magnified.
I'm alive.


God is my best friend.


Details | Free verse | |

Three Ghosts on Hallow's Eve

I was visited by three ghosts
Each night until All Saints Day

Unlike Scrooge
I asked for the ghosts to visit
the ghosts were known to me
in life

The veil is thin
on Halloween or the Eve of the Hallow (Holy)

The first ghost was that of a young man and son
He was lost to my world when he was only 24
died in a car crash 

His ghost visited  the day before Hallow Eve
read me a confessional letter that he will prove his love to me
I did not know him because he as been dead for 13 years
But he said that he died on the 24th and his funeral was on the 31

The second ghost was that of an old women and friend
I remember her because she died less than two months
She made an appearance on Halloween

She was having trouble adjusting to death
naked and disoriented
She was looking for her clothes and jewelry
I told her that we thought that she was dead
and that she will take on new clothing

The third ghost was that of a father figure
he played one of his favorite singers who is also dead
Frank Sinatra

“The summer wind came blow-in' in
like painted kites, those days and nights.
From across the sea they went fly-in' by

The Autumn winds and the winter winds,
they come and gone. And still the days, those lone-ly days.
They go on and on”

I was listening to New Age music at work on All Saints Day
but some how I heard the song in the background for 15 minutes


Unlike Scrooge
I asked for the ghosts to visit
the ghosts were known to me
in life

They are not ghosts to me
because I miss and love them but 
“they go on and on”


Details | Free verse | |

Mysteries of Human Hairs II of II



Mysteries of Human Hairs II Hairs, O hairs, O’ lovely ravishing hairs, It is also a hard truth of the world and Of our human life and air that, Even some saints too have fallen prey, Before your enchanting beauty and your alluring colors. Many mighty kings have lost their crown and kingdoms, In the ever tempting beauty of your magnetic curls and shines, To get hold of you, O’ lovely hairs. Kingdoms have fallen like the house of cards and Even most powerful men of this earth, Have lost the edge of their swards, Before the shining, flying and mesmerizing, Beauty of a women’s hair and its penetrating charms. Hairs, O hairs, O’ lovely ravishing hairs, While many have lost their life and kingdoms, There are few such lucky lovers of hairs, as well, Who have remained unnoticed, unacknowledged and even unseen, Although they enjoyed and relished the beauty of your colors, and Have felt the softness of your hanging hair locks and curls, O hairs. What wealth and gems you hide in your treasure, Making many men and even women, Mad, before the lovely ravishing beauty of you, O’ Hairs. Ravindra Kanpur India 28th Oct 2010 Edited and rewritten on 28th March 2012


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

A passion lost
another kiss lost it's flavor
 a love that's no more 
a heart that lost it's feelings for a plain skin 
that was smooth to the touch turned rough 
a fire blown out 
eyes lost that special connection
lost that something that turned a body
            numb


Details | Free verse | |

My Prescription

I cried like a lost child,
Screamed 'til my voice went'
Laughed like a mad woman,
Then I moved like nothing happened.

But something happened, 
It was like I was poisoned
How did all this happen?
I took you to a place where you did not belong.

A land so sacred,
Forgot to search, 
In you were, in a spilt second gone, 
You were

Your thorn filled boots,
Have left a mark in my land,
Left the most poisonous seed,
That started to burn from the very core,
Agony so great made me so numb.

I cried like a lost child,
Screamed 'til my voice went,
Laughedlike a mad woman,
Then moved like nothing happened.

Moved to where you left your mark,
Sat by the mark,
And wondered why?
Continued to cry, screamed and laughed,
As if this was my treatment
For you poisoned me.

I cried like a lost child,
Screamed 'til my voice went,
Laughed like a mad woman,
Then I moved like nothing happened.


Details | Free verse | |

Ray of Hope

 A season of storms we weathered
Fought against the waves of rain
Tried to build our own shelter
With what we had left
Scattered all around us
Only for it to be blown away
Leaving us naked
Exposed to the elements
Shivering from being soaked
We could feel it in our bones
Weary and worn
Our spirits beat down
Finding no relief
We began to seek escape
In all the wrong places
Only to travel in circles
With no direction
But we kept trudging through the mud
Against the relentless wind
Losing sight of the plans laid out for us
Losing sight of what we held close to our hearts
Only looking at what we lost
Losing the sense to fight
Until we were neck deep
Until we were drained
Until we had nothing left in us
Until it seemed all hope was gone
Of escaping this never ending season
Solid ground was nowhere in sight
Our knees buckled and we fell
Crawling with every last thing we had in us
Until we collapsed
The fight was over
Laying there realizing
What we were losing
That we gave it our all
Fought with all our might
But that we could no longer continue
This seemingly never ending battle
Our vision had become cloudy
We lost our way
We lost everything so dear
Raining pelting down on us
Mixing with our tears
Unable to hear our sobs
Unable to hear our hearts break
Over the roar of the thunder
We done all we could do on our own
The only place to look is up now
Look to the heavens
To see a break in the clouds
A ray of sunshine beams through
As the last drop of rain falls
Glistening like a diamond
We are bathed in light and warmth
Relief washing over us
A single ray of hope
Beckoning us
As the clouds roll away
Seeing the beauty
All around us
That was always there
Masked by a season of storms
Trying to survive them on our own
Instead of seeking The Shelter in the storm
We find the strength to stand
Embracing each other desperately
Realizing what we almost lost
Crying tears of joy
Something happened inside of us
Our eyes were opened
Our hearts softened
Filled with hope
Neither has felt before
Hand in hand
We began to walk in the direction of the Light


Details | Free verse | |

Standing Stone On Rombalds Moor

(Told to me by a patient, when 
working as a
builder’s labourer at Menston’s asylum 1963)

This little middle aged lady,
watched and followed me
around for two days,
when I was working on a
renovation job, in Menston
asylum 1963.She told me this
tale over and over again about
her and someone’s (no name)
initials being cut into rock
on Ilkley moor. I’d almost
forgot about her, till I saw on
television recently a documentary/
drama based on the asylum at Menston.
Some of the scenes from the show
were uncanny in being almost
identical with her story told to me
Thirty-two years ago.

I was told that eventually
she would soon forget all things
relating to her past. What impressed
me, was how hard she was trying to
hang on; of course it was her only
salvation.


“I saw a rat
this morning, eating
on a brain.
A surely little thing
all furry and grey.
I saw a bright light
afterwards”/

“I tried to
grasp it but it was so
elusive;
like their warm
and tender love it only
stays a little while,
before the darkness begins
to shut out all the
things I cherish. 
I sing a song”/
“It helps to pass
the waiting.
I clean the
window sill try the
front door, it’s always
locked, somehow I know
my past is through there”.

Now I
cannot except the concept
of light then dark, the
adjustment is burning me
up.

Just as long as the
memory of my loved ones/
from the
light days of my life is
kept within me/
memories
of sublime peace and
simple innocents,
like
the standing stone on
“Rombalds Moor” Our
initials forever beguiling.

Sorry!    I have to go
it’s the rat/
he’s eating his
lunch again!

© Harry J Horsman   


Details | Free verse | |

Out In Cold Alaska

He liked sleeping in the barnyard 
with the carnivorous pigs, clucking 
halfway through the night. Emptied 
picnic basket dribbling cobalt off the 
sides, if that was what a wooden chin 
looked like then he'd seen it all.. 

Green ended nappies, white hair dye 
and rubber teeth. At the very least, a 
cavorting priest... although that was 
nothing out of the ordinary. 

Shivering at his own memories, 
the blanket now outgrown.


Details | Free verse | |

Am I Still Forgiven

I did it again; I need forgiven.
Will He still forgive me even though I've fallen before?
I've fallen into these same sins countless times before;
I still haven't learned my lesson.
I am an ignorant hypocrite.
Am I still forgiven?


Details | Free verse | |

Awakening

Are we awake or are we still sleeping?
Blind to the hurt, and deaf to the weeping.
Ashamed of religion and supportive of the new,
Aware of the lies and hidden from what’s true. 

Worship the evil and turn away the pure,
Developing disease with an unknown cure.
Starving the poor and overfeeding the wealthy.
Killing the sick and drugging the healthy. 

Going to war for some kind of power,
Building tall structures over all types of flower.
Cutting the trees and polluting the air,
All out of greed, with no sort of care. 

Turning us against our own, 
And help from up above.
Making us beings of hate,
Instead of ones of love. 

Demonizing the mystic,
Criticizing the wise.
Making our own family members,
Into people that we despise.

Awaken to the torment, 
Be aware of all the pain. 
Those who are misleading,
And claiming that we are insane.


Details | Free verse | |

Time -part 2-

Even then though—you ask how!
How can she not return the hatred!
But we humans cannot think so beyond
To even dare comprehend the mystery sentiments she possesses
Surrounding her are twelve unattainable senses
That we only know from a single mind’s imagination
Like space she is enigma
And she will wander there without any question
Her senses are twelve sojourners that never tire
Watching with melodious eyes
Some see darkness and some see light
And none are ever affected by the garish dark
Or even the furious bright
Only Time can tell
What the multiple futures hold
But she is patient and silent
Speaking for all of our burning minds
Anger often burns our sides
For we do not want her silent comfort
Her hints seer us and overbear us
Were it be truth we would see it as deceit 
Were it deceit we would at last find her a flaw
We want everything now
And for that we suffer
And she is confused by our abhorrence
But she is intelligent, brave and belligerent 
And she cuts no slack
She will give none back
But in forwardness she is abundantly generous
Feeding us futures of hope
Her thanksgiving is art to those at death’s door
Those that make it in the uncertainty of night’s long abode
Some think her cruel to have them live on
But she had no choice in the matter
She is merely a vigilante
And in that vision—a humble giver
Time sees the rulers of this world
And smiles as she sees them go
May you not think her cruel to smile
To think that she thinks us inferior 
For it isn’t so!

Time is on our side
But we are ever against her
Ever against her
 
8/5/13
(note: This was meant to be one full poem, but I could not fit it on one page. Thank you kindly for reading)


Details | Free verse | |

La Peinture noire

translation below


Noir
Le noir, la nuit,rêves vides
Tu n’a jamais vu la noirceur comme moi
Le matin, tu te réveilles inlassablement
Le soleil, la pluie, un autre jour
Vous existez, moi, je rêve d'exister
Je dois faire naitre mon existence
Pour l'instant
Le noir est tout à fait l`obscurité
La nuit, le jour, les rêves
Tout, tout noir
Je prends mon pinceau,
En même temps je regarde ma peinture
Chaque jour, heure après heure
J’essaie de faire la peinture la plus magnifique
J’imagine mon tableau, explosant de pastels
A la fin
Je pleure
Quand je regarde mon chef d’œuvre
Tout simplement
Une peinture noire

Translation

The Black Painting

Black
The black, the night, empty dreams
You have never seen the blackness as I
The morning, you awake to whatever
The sun, the rain, another day
You exist, I dream to exist
I give birth to my existence
For the moment
The black is always the darkness
The night, the day, the dreams
All, all is black
I take my paint brush
At the same time I look at my painting
All day, hour by hour
I try to make a most magnificant painting
I imagine the painting, exploding in pastels
In the end
I cry
It is simply
A black painting


Details | Free verse | |

A Ship Without a Sail

The amazing Rage inside of me, eating holes-
Gnawing at my chewed up Soul
Each day is a battle to stay alive because I am heartbroken once more
This World and its' people, disappointment me again and again
They shun me and offer no creative hope
I am cast out- SPIT OUT!
Rudderless, and lost without a sail
Aimless, seeking refuge in volatile ports
While wistful storms stalk me
Into the horizon

*A feeble stab at free-verse; I'm really only adding it because I post mostly rhyme, and I don't wish to be totally monotonous lol


Details | Free verse | |

Wasted Time

Time is like an ever moving stream
It carries all away.
Like a restless wave upon a shore,
Once there - is gone forevermore.

A day that is lost - a time that is wasted -
not shared or spent in joy,
Is a time that cannot be recovered,
And a life that is spent - is lost forever.


Details | Free verse | |

A Soldier's Heart

Oh sail this ship on holy water
Let storms be gone today
For the voice of life seeks a tender heart
Away from these fields of despair
A soldier needs God to recognise me

This letter of life, this beacon of hope
Pray land on mother’s doorstep
And give my family the hug
That I cannot bring
For this brings peace to me

The hands of the children
Reach out to fathers gone
I pray that they will remember me
For time has made a stranger
In my babies memory
I fear on my return
They will not know me

 And wife you will not see
The handsome man of marriage
For war has made me old
This withered face will tell no stories
So pray do not ask me

My youth has been lost 
In generals words and one more push
And my mind has accepted this slaughter
The man that closed the door of home
Cannot return
 Life will never be the same for me

My words belong to the soldier
Not to my lovers tears
For we compete with the dead
 Epitaphs are our confetti
Littering every street
These once happy bodies 
 Lay in no man’s land 
And they’re pain
Are companions to me?

Their faces call out
“Come join the ranks”
And we who know our fate
Scribble with trembling hand
Will this bombardment never cease?
For fear is all over me

 Concealed behind my pencilled words
 Except from all who share death with me
Lies a truth lost in the darkest night
The darkness that possesses this life
 For war is a father to me.

I am the guardian
Of this decomposing life
Only my corpse can give you the truth
So this letter will stay with me

I will send to you, my beloved wife
Thoughts that will protect your life
I cannot write fancy words
 I am fine and I miss you
Hope you and the kids are well
It’s not so bad here
And with gods will 
This war will return the man
That is me.

 Love Jack.
P S your love will always be with me
Should I die please remember me.
Let me sleep in English soil
For England is my home
Though England will be the death of me




Details | Free verse | |

Vasava An untold story 1/Many

Vasava
An untold story 


The story as Vasavadutta originally conceived and written by my late father Dr.Amar Nath 
Kapoor*  in Hindi many many years back, but Accidentally the major portion of his hand 
written manuscript got lost with many of his other hand written manuscripts during his 
lifetime itself. He had a deep attachment for this unique story belonging to the period of 
Guam Buddha 559 BC. 
Since I had heard him reciting this story when the manuscript was present I am trying to 
rewrite this unique story, as was wished by my late father. Hope my poetry soup friends 
would find it a unique story portraying a beautiful character of a dancer Vasavadutta or 
Vasava, who was an embodiment of beauty. Her life changed completely when she came to 
see Gautama Buddha.

I am rewriting his idea and story in English and hope to have your both types of comments 
as you find and feel, as it is always precious for me.

Vasava
An untold story 						Part 01/Many


She was a woman of splendid and unparallel beauty
Lavishly bestowed and blessed on her by Nature
Her intoxicating and lovely youth,  had sparked  
Her beauty and enchanting ness far and wide on Earth

On the beauty of her face and hanging hair locks
Many and mighty had sacrificed and burnt like moths
To see only a glimpse of her dance and to hear her voice
Many lost their entire wealth, only to enjoy her dance

Brahma* had labored hard, while shaping her beauty
Her enchanting eyes use to glitter, like beautiful sapphires
Which were studded in the golden cups of her lovely eyes
Attracting everyone, who came in the closeness of her eyes

During her dance performances, her eyes use to sprinkle 
A passionate intoxicating wine, to charm the audience
Her spectators never appears to stop drinking that wine
To get completely lost themselves in the charms of her dance


Ravindra

Kanpur India 01st March    2010	                  Part 01/Many

References and Hindi word used.

* Brahma   The Creator of the entire Universe as per Hindu  
   Mythology.

* Dr. Amar Nath Kapoor  My late father who was also a freedom      
   fighter who joined national freedom movements of Mahatma  
   Gandhi in 1920 but left active politics after India’s 
   independence in 1947 and devoted rest of his life till 1994 in 
   writing mass literature on Indian mythology, dramas , Poetry 
   and etc and wrote more than hundred manuscripts

*Kama  means wish, desire or longing, especially as in sensual 
    love or sexuality  ( Deo)  Hindu god inducing lusty 
    desires


Details | Free verse | |

Silver Lady Lost

I dreamed a dream
from within a dream
of a madcap search
for the Silver Lady.

Silver Lady lost and found
Silver Lady lost…
I heaved and cry-cried bitter tears
'til time became an ash.

Through fissure of a shattered heart
the Silver Lady lost was found
and alchemized
into the Golden essence of you.


Details | Free verse | |

Ignorance meets Insanity

Seriousness settles in, like an old friend
Seriousness spreads like a disease
Infecting us, accelerating, our aging process 
Our youthfulness, our playfulness, slowly slipping away
Our wonder in life, diminishing
Seriousness leading to rigidness, pathway to small mindedness!

Days and years, rolling into one
Colourless, lifeless, mundane, dull and boring
“What day is it?”
“Don’t smile or your face might crack!”
Judgemental, cantankerous!
Pompous attitudes, of modern day man

Stubbornness and ignorance, clinging to what’s familiar
Seriousness, up tightness, humourless, imagination vanished, pathway to madness!
The mind focused on its self created drama’s
Fears constantly being stimulated, from our outside world
Personal insecurities, constantly being triggered, inside
The past lives on, the present forgotten 
What was once important, now, left on the back burner
Hard headed, victim orientated
Righteous, self absorbed
Emptiness, hollowness, helplessness

Seriousness and ignorance, walk hand in hand
Becoming, our best friends
The vampire suckers of vitality
Sucking the life, out of our personal goals and childhood dreams
Lose of faith, gradually, losing our way
Lost, amongst the thick of it
Not knowing any different
Everything becoming an illusion
Seeing things as it should be
In our own little universe, no one else’s!

Entrapment of the mind
Our, personal intelligence, laying dormant
Body and mind, riddled with dis - ease
Heart beating hard, starving for a substance, we call love
Numb, to the outside
Numb, on the inside
Desensitized!
Going crazy!
Consumed with our own self created loneliness and separation
Ignorance meets insanity!


Details | Free verse | |

You're My Plague

You plague me with your sweltering disease My heart throbs in unease You carry me off to a far-off island Your breeze keeps me flowin’…scraping sand Your names escapes my lips I tell myself, “Get a grip, dude…” But you decided to intrude... My blood drips to the floor I’ve been losing balance… The instant you pushed me aside Your quietude devours me… I can’t help, but hide… I feel horribly disheartened…feelin’ too insignificant To start my day with a good note Too discouraged to be motivated to run… You trade me your pain in the past I consume it like a bear My stomach is churning persistently…you’re running too fast… I’m dowsed in despair My eyes stare vacantly…into space…they roam happily Your vigilance keeps me safe and sound…I dwell in your tranquility Your dreams caress my own… This intriguing comfort never makes me feel alone I’m under your dazzlin’ spell… This is heaven – not living hell! I’ve been bruising myself over you…for a while now The moment you abandoned me that night… Your rejoicing mends my gash…heals my mind… I think better of you – everything’s black and white I feel so exquisite when I’m around you… So inspired to reveal my might…just shine your light On me…and remember to meet me at sun rise… But I still feel malnourished… By your sweltering disease My heart refuses to beat in perfect rhythm – my high hopes nearly perished By your forceful breeze…pushing me on my knees I’m stumbling off my feet – I’m not at all pleased I’m not in the mood to be teased… I’m suffering…I’m not discreet How did you push me off my feet? Why do you make ME feel so damn miserable and incomplete? You plague me with your sweltering disease My heart pounds as I fall upon my blood-stained knees You carry me away to an unknown place Your voice still rings in my ears… I glance at your admirable face I’ve faced you way too many times – Your sparkling with majestic brilliance and pure grace


Details | Free verse | |

Hush

They say this will all make sense one day
He told me words of mind, words of worlds,
with the sound so familiar, echoing that we are not alone
I gazed, trying to find the hint, the rise.

From the window i watched, looking on the inside of your world
Such terror you see, and all i could find
were perfect skies, reflecting what is out there
But from your window, you knew these skies were hanging low

Our time was endless. Your spirit was forever.
Stuck to my heart, i never felt the hit.
As i rose above, i never thought i'd fall.
I never thought the ring worn so tightly around my finger would live on,
as you passed by.

Never, i would tell myself.
I would never forget, or replace our laughs.
The sound of our interrupting thoughts, 
clashing at one another like a runaway train against soft rain.

We had lost our maps. We had lost all sight. All sanity.
The storm arose, as i sat in bed breathing.
My body aching, thoughts numbing my mind.
When will i wake from being awake?

Lying in a puddle, i search for the answers.
I beg for solutions, while tumbling over faults of my own.
Emotions tangled up inside of my stomach
like a ball of rubber-bands
Toxic to my health, they try to retrace the bonds
but they don't know where to start.

Nothing left but memories, All that's left is a four letter word.
Hush.


Details | Free verse | |

John Stonehouse MP

A man who left his country
A man who left his ties
A man who left his duty
A man free

O the advantage of perceived death,
Of being remembered for something you were not
A martyr, an untrue character, an untrue man. 

The man is found
The man is taken
The man is guilty
But of what?

Bereft of responsibility
A man is chained 
A man empty of soul
A man called Stonehouse.


Details | Free verse | |

whats happening to me

I don't know where my days are going

everything is a blur

last I checked it was Monday...

four whole days have passed

where did they go

I don't remember what happened 

or who I talked to

did I go to work

what did I do after

I don't remember sleeping

when is the last time I ate

things are getting out of control

I need to take a break

im wearing myself way too thin

im starting to lose myself

captured in the freezing cold

my own personal hell

everything is confusing

and I cant remember why

im not sure how it happened 

or how long this will last

but something has to happen soon

or this could turn out bad...


Details | Free verse | |

I Walk The Seashore Down

I Walk The Seashore Down

I walk the seashore down
Pillowed by silent calls of night
Land begins
Sea ends
Great leveler of life
I call my own
An echoed noise releases
Crashing wet positioning’s of a tide
Like footstep entries
On sands of time
Filters on my cigarettes taste bland
They kill me
My feet
I know not where they land
I walk the seashore down
Shadowed by giant limbs
I call my own
It seeks me out
I walk the seashore down
Collect my thoughts among the shells
Laugh at them out loud
In silent numbers
They line against me
Laugh back with ocean sounds
Breath’s heavy like the wind
Steps take me where I’ve been
More lost than found
I walk the seashore down



Details | Free verse | |

Angel's Melody

The music must be played!
The audience is waiting,
to hear the Angel's Melody.

A masterpiece, I tell you!
That none have ever heard before
A likeness to everything
and nothing at all.

The curtains go up,
the audience is quiet
and she is not there.

The music sheet is torn to pieces!
The only copy,
and it lies beside the piano.
A piece is missing!

No one can complete it.
No one can perfect it.

It is a masterpiece!
It is brilliance!
It is incomplete!

She is gone
and with her...gone is the Angel's Melody


Details | Free verse | |

You Never Felt the Same Way

I sit here, 
I read your words,
I cry.

You sit there,
You write those words,
You don't cry.

I'm lost without you,
I'm nothing without you,
I'm alone without you.

You're not lost without me,
You're somthing without me,
You're not alone without me.

Everything I am, you are not,
Everything I was, you were not,
Everything I am going to be, you are not.


Details | Free verse | |

Coffee Science

          Coffee Science

Wild storm crashed my boat
Succumbing to the unforgiving rocks
In a sad deposit on a primal savage shore
Remote and desolate are words that come to mind
My Keurig and I alone survived the humble wreckage
A couple K cups floated up
Lapped upon the salted waves
There to be found and saved
There is one small issue on this island to submit
The science of electricity was yet to be invented 
Nor outlets to help the Keurig brew
If I don’t have my coffee
There is nothing left to do
The coffee maker will have to be returned
From what I can surmise
And what there is, to be discerned and seen
There is no receipt 
Like us, it too is lost 
I guess we’ll have to wait
For a boat or foreign science with electric to come our way
Before we take our coffee break 


Details | Free verse | |

The Line Between Life and Death

Days long, nights short I find myself lost in time's arms.
I dream with eyes open, thinking about my previous life.
Let alone the tick-tock fill this open space of depression and disconnection.
Wind's breeze is my only friend;
we dance,
we talk,
and sing away with the day's aftermath.
I look through the window's eyes and further beyond the graveyard,
I see decapitated souls.
Lying on dirt beds, but locked in luxurious torture.
Without limbs and a body to guide direction, 
I'm stuck in one position longing for death's scythe to pass me by.
I tremble when all eyes stare upon my quarter-being figure,
and lost with words i remain silenced, in my solitude.
Still looking upon my previous world, I gaze upon life in the open field 
and dream of heaven's sweet thoughts.
Unfortunately my past life eliminated by pain and depression
had no meaning,
being restricted of God's open freedom.
Now let me frost
for I pay the cost,
of sharing solitary confinement 
in locked doors.


Details | Free verse | |

AM ALIVE NOT DEAD

Crazy how when one problem is solved,
Another one arises,
When one thing is lost,
we find another one,
When we give up
someone else moves up,
When we think its the end of the road,
the journey has just began.

Crazy how when one stops hurting,
worry wants to take over,
When we are down and crushed to dust,
freedom calls, wanting to sweep you away like the wind.
Crazy how when i cry,
I realize am normal,
I have emotions and tears.

Funny how When my life is out of control,
When am broken and hurt,
Scared, thinking that this crazy world,
Is going to bring me down,
i find a reason to smile
I realize AM ALIVE NOT DEAD.


Details | Free verse | |

Thank You for the Mustard Seed

Thank You for the Mustard Seed

My father gave me a mustard seed
Entombed in a crystal sphere.
It hung from a chain around my neck
As a promise of rescue when I felt fear.

It’s what I had wanted, was dying for
This portal to hope in a charm.
Oh I was young and didn’t know
Trinkets don’t keep me from harm.

My necklace of hope was lost in the years
As the message it brought was too.
I wasn’t aware that the seed still lived
And from my parents grew.

Sweet Jesus you said my miniscule prayer
Could move mountains and save us all.
That small belief turned out as a thief
Of an naive child’s doleful call.

My pleas never came to pass, oh lord
Those avés so pitifully sought.
I’d prayed as well as I possibly could,
Just as I thought I’d been taught.

I ask not redemption, lamb of my youth
Tho’ relic and faith displaced.
My anchor was sown when given to life
And holds sure as any grace.

Symbols are symbols and stories are old.
Sometimes the lessons are lost when they’re told.
As was with the given mustard seed
The charm is gone – but I live through their deed.

© September 2, 2002
Kathryn McL. Collins

Matthew 17:20 ~ And Jesus said unto them, "Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain. Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you".


Details | Free verse | |

MADNESS.....

     Nausea overwhelming.
     Hands desperately grasping my pen.
     Body trembling trying not to overheat.
     Mind blaring, eye's burning from unshed tears.
     My heart ready to leap from my chest and make a run for it.
Here I stand frozen, lost in Woderland. 
Two doors in front of me but which one do I choose?
What Do I DO!? What should I do...?
All eyes fixed on me, ready for judgement.
Win or lose? What will she do?
What will she choose?
     Insane, sanity presented to me with a cup of tea.
     One lump or two and would you like cream with your confusion?
     Time frozen inside as the world continues to fly by.
     Boggled and Tangled, Torn and Bleeding, Lost in the Land of the Great Unknown.
     Silent whispers accuse, haunting my every move as noone's lips move.
Shallow breathing and exhaustion.
Lost in painful conflict unsure of what to do.
Right or left, red or blue, this path or that either way I shall pay my dues...
Tangled in this trickey web, lives and love continue surrounding me.
Everyone talks but noone hears.
You may know me but do you see me, 
and you may see me but do you know me?
What do you see, what do you know?
What should I do... What will I do?


Details | Free verse | |

Sacred Passage

God of light conquer my fear from within

An eclipse of the sun has tainted my inner vision
Who are we to have believed yet achieved
Some are even caught in its pickle;
Stranded as two love birds caught in a fickle

Sacred Passage
The uniting of two hearts so far away we will pray
God of heaven take delight on my poetry
Look highly favorable amidst the summoned truth

Like a lost carriage we take our flight away

Far from the lost brevity in exchange of honesty
The silence has etched its memory in our brains
Shattered by the moment of upheaval and then,
Sacred Passage;

We look humbly then often deeper then ever before


In exchange of honesty its just Studio 54?


Details | Free verse | |

Zigzag Man

Rain, nothing but rain
It’s raining so hard it sounds like 
A round of applause
If only that were true
And I received such adulation
But I am an imposter
A poser
A man lost in the motions
Of life.
I sleep, to wake, to dress
In the morning
Put on my pants and walk to work
Passing the trenches were the blue 
Collars are hunched over their work
I have a laptop
I am smart
I talk on my smartphone to no one
Just pretend to be making a big deal
That’s what’s important
One day I’ll get a bicycle
And then I can move fast 
I’ll zigzag between the losers that are walking
I’ll have my Bluetooth device hooked up
And stuck in my ear 
Like Buck Rogers in the not so distant past
Resume on line
Monster, Dice, all the big head hunters 
They all want me
I get emails from Indians all over the world
“Six month contract owner desperate, need 
network Guru.”
I am your man…well at least for three months
Then I’ll be on my way
But hey I got free airfare, meals, and a room
My closet is full of black clothes
I am your best friend
Can I bum a smoke?
I am a modern man
I own nothing and everything
See you at the office
Or maybe on the street
But you can be sure of one thing
I am fast on my feet.


Details | Free verse | |

The eyes

Never I know,
what is flowing form your eyes to my heart 
I only feel  somthing collapse.
and gradually I finish...


Details | Free verse | |

Fragmented

In dead of night the jackals scream;
the waning moon has faces yet to see.
Like moments lost in some far away realm
you shift your thoughts,you're swayed by true desperation.
Silently and swiftly formed the fear envelopes all
weakness and willingness to thus succumb.
Not unlike the chill goes down your spine when misery 
befriends the soul and circumstance speaks louder still.
Relinquish now the rules thus held for time untold
yet for a price the truth will somehow be revealed.

Now as the beasts go swiftly into the blackness 
of your mind,you stir and beckon something more.
Some fragmented,frenzied bit of reality that has
broken all the sheltered moments of denial.
In bursts of dawn the coolness soothes,it calms
the wounds of battles lost and memories struck.
Go long into that fearless day and don't look back
till all you hold as clear relief has slipped away.
Once again the night will tempt you into doubt.
You know this fear is yours alone to conquer.


Details | Free verse | |

America! with respect to W.W. & A. G.

This struggling accomplished path winds,
Spiral like stairs leading us to the point;
Average wingedhipsters today more like
Displaced thugs. With no sense.
At every corner, we're speaking rigorous
Reminders.

That we all eventually yawn.your wombs

America, I'm wore out, worrying about
This junk.
America, your womb's been cast out
America, our children are all fastly
Becoming basta'ds.

Our roads turning into lavic landslides
Of unfinished destinies.

Prowling inadequacies are hard to out run,
When they're sewn into bone.
Absent of marrow.
Life too fully lived.
Gorged on the juicy decay of existence.

America!, Our infrequent landscapes
Have fragmented, pulled apart by every
Finger scarred with the blood of augury.
How many steps must be counted before I reach
The twisted vision of youths' immortal stare?

America!, I often try to remember that
There's more than you, on this continental
Motion;
America, sometimes I lose track 
How many lines have been navigated?
& yet the message is always still sitting
Beneath the page,  Scratching these thoughts
In to sunlit sheets of autumnal growth.

America, I must stop listening to the staggering
Static soliloquy of your all too destructive nature.
America, I needlessly have lost all trace
Of virginity;  Of the body;  Of the soul;
& now, wafting in winds of mortal breath

America, I have lost the virginity of my mind.
Smashed with the aluminum ball bat
Of times anger!

These are the times.
These are the times.  

America!

Long bleached, drawn out
Boredom filled & kept just barely above
The soil by cookies, Ims, texts, tiny gigibite
Morsels & flash fictions.    Oh America!

Don't you love the sound of the click
Of the mouse?
As I slowly click my mind 
Away        in a nuclear breeze
Caused by your terminal dis  ease?

I have captured clouds here, bubbling
Fluffy white puffs of air; in my
Little skull shack.
I have snagged dragons' & used their scales
To construct new skin, their blood for ink,
I have given birth to a new world
That takes breath.

Breeding fire storms of molecular moans
& flourescent fuel for the trip.
America, I must warn you;
An apocalyptic fury grows here-
A song of departure.

My mucous thickens & etches itsself
in the soft corpses of trees
My hands tremble
America,  holding the last aeon
In lap; Gurggling euphoric dangers
Of listening to the news
America, I must let loose
This desired dream of your once great
Beauty

--------------


Details | Free verse | |

Sweet friend o mine

Hugs embracing clouds 
shades from the darkest grey to silver
floating within Heavenly skies 
with white patches toning grey 
I look across the mountains sweeping inside 
yearning in such sadness 
burning deep grief sweetly sings
 
Just missing my best friend
as the rain begins falling 
sharing deeply natures spirit
Whispering souls through the trees
then the seagulls lament
floating across silently a soft lukewarm breeze
touching across waters

Looking down the valley 
light painting through clouds 
silver beams moving gracefully 
Dancing under each branch I pull lately
The willow just weeps 

So lost I am without you love
passing you one warm blessing 
filled with happiness in a smile 
to my best friend  
really miss sharing with you


Details | Free verse | |

Dispensation

So did you lose him?
He may have happened to you,
Like a moment’s whim,
Slipped through your fright,
Like sands that defy your might,
Your panicked fingers that hoped to stick;
Or the fleeting flash of warmth across a cold,
A cold unfeeling skyline;
The page from literature you often leafed back to,
Where the pen had scribbled your story,
Your Lochinvar lapped in romance;
Like the bruise daubed on your body,
The stab wrenching a riddle on your bones.
 
 
So how did you lose him?
Suddenly?
Like he screeched a brake and drew up the car,
And opened the door for you,
And asked you to step out?
Refined. Gentlemanly.
Desperately beseeching,
Leave.
 
Or did you lose him in bits and parts?
Like the slow slackening of the tautest handcuffs;
Did you lose him in pieces?
While you sought to secure love,
It leashed around his neck,
Until even the dregs cried out,
Desperately beseeching,
Escape.
 
 
What more did you lose with him?
A part of yourself?


Details | Free verse | |

I Messed Up

Lord, please forgive me.
I need You.
I messed up.
Please, save me.
Thank You.
I trust You.
I love You.
I am a hypocrite.
Please, change me.
Thank You.
Amen.


Details | Free verse | |

Image

Swans crowd the lake
  scattering their white feathers
     like lost love songs;

like my love song,
     lost upon the
              downstream drift.


Details | Free verse | |

Companionship

Shadows on lipstick
The pink is turning gray
Flakes in the corners
But I still have to pay
She said she was the best 
Not ten years long ago
I’d pay double back then
But I don’t want to love her
I just want to talk
She seems disappointed
To the point of being insulted
I say it’s not your body
Though it’s not as young as it could be
The tattoos don’t both me 
Not even the rosary
I try to explain I need companionship
She says “Well then get a dog”
I can’t argue with her there but they can’t discuss 
Rembrandt, but then again neither can she
So what am I doing here in the Elvis Suite in Vegas
With a $300 hooker I picked up at the MGM Grand?
I was lonely for companionship I needed to feel a connection
To feel as if I could laugh with someone and share my inner soul
Boy was I sucker, a hayseed, a water boy on the bench.
Naïve doesn’t do just to my stupidity.
Well I tried to talk about poetry, politics, anything to get a rise
But her interest was about the money and the ride.
I told her she’d get paid no matter what we did.
And she said, “Listen kid if we aren’t gong to do anything then just 
Hand over the jack and I’ll be on my way.”
Well talking was nothing and I handed her the doe.  
She smiled and laughed and told me she had a degree in philosophy
And would love to spend some time with me just not on the clock.  
You see it takes a whole night to discuss Plato and only a moment to have a ball. 


Details | Free verse | |

Dress Code

Dress Code


Black pencil skirt
Black pants and black shoes, black blouse that’s the dress code here all black.

To a Macys employee our dress code identifies you and where you work-Macys.

I interviewed for a job at a nearby Macys department store so….
I get a nice email saying I didn’t get hired not once not twice but three times in five years.

I say I’ll apply again but the same thing happens and I wonder aimlessly if I’ll ever get hired at Macys.

I am very interested in Macys Careers after College after I graduate from college in about a year.

I once got hired at JC Penny. I really wanted and still want a job at Macys to be among the “employees” that must follow the dress code.

I would do it proudly.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost among the Living

To be lost among the living
never to be noticed or acknowledged
tears shed,
which no one seems to see?
cries expressed,
which no one seems to hear?
On a day-to-day basis as designed
life moves forward for most
starting with the morning and ending with the night
however,for others,it very nearly ends
with each passing breath
the next could quite possibly
be the breath to end all breaths.


Days and nights pass slowly
almost to the point of stopping
the minds' only thought,
perhaps it would be better to move on
best to leave a world
that creates only sorrow and pain
a world that never lets sunshine in
a world where being outside the norm
is generally frowned upon
never understood or accepted
most assuredly, not welcome.
To be lost among the living
is a most undesirable place to be.


Melody Coster©


Details | Free verse | |

Blue Winter Death



within 
the womb
of silent death
where Summer tree's
sway no more

we search each cloud
in muted 
promise
in hope
a dream shall climb above

where silent hearts
as blue as death
crawl beneath
a vale no more

I scream of Summer
a hymn of love
And run beyond the wind

before the chill 
of night    
consume....

within the womb
of silent death
where Summer tree's
sing no more






Details | Free verse | |

Messiah

You’re the shining sun and silver moon, Glowing brightly in my heart, Your words soothe my thoughts, And for once, I don’t worry. Though we couldn’t talk much, It’s like I’ve known you all my life. But I don’t. I want to know more about you, Who you really are, what you look like, I want to know more about you. Unlike others, I’ve been given a messiah, One I could talk to about anything, Guardian angel, are you worried about me? I know I get hurt a lot and I hurt others. I know I’m tainted and cruel, I’m sorry. Can you forgive me? I don’t know what I was thinking. I regret it and I want to take it back. But I can’t… So, as I repent under a perpetual, gray light, Let us enjoy each other’s company, For I know all too well, Good things come to an end. Family, Friendships, Life, Love… So, may we hold hands and share an embrace? Just for a moment, please, Let us share a moment of eternal bliss. May 17,2013


Details | Free verse | |

Rejoice

In a crowded room
I am ALONE...
Time creeps along like a dripping faucet;
Knawing and aggravating my mind.
I am lost and afraid--

I only ask for 
LIFE,
PEACE,
INNOCENCE,
LOVE,
LAUGHTER,
TEARS OF HAPPINESS AND INSIGHT----
WISDOM,
REALITY,
ANGER,
TEARS OF TURMOIL AND SADNESS----
.....death.....

In a crowded room
I am alone....
There is no time or dripping faucet.
I have NO mind and I've lost my soul,
but I am FOUND and unafraid.


Details | Free verse | |

Poem

I painted a picture of your face
With some beautiful flowers but the skies were gray
Behind you maybe a sun that will never glow
On a withering tree with no leaves to blow
Hanging from a branch is an old tire swing
And a heart shaped carving for you and me
It says something about how we'd last 4-ever
But your heavenly smile I can not remember
Just a shadow that lacks and strays far behind
As I try to capture your love with a heart thats blind
So I painted a cloud just to hide your face
As I wondered how does that color taste


Details | Free verse | |

EYE Don't See -Part 4-

My heart is beating with upbeat delight 
You astound me…in every shape and form 
My spirit is dancing with unbreakable might
You surprise me…when you take my hand
And pull me outtah my jail-like dorm

And He dismisses me from my solitude…
My eyes are glistening with bliss… 
And I’m far from my demise… 
Only to find that there’s no need to feel helpless

Why do you spoil me rotten with your fatherly affection?

Just protect me from any harm 
Let me make my own decisions…
To see the results in the long run 

You prize me as if I’m cherished like your carefree child
You don’t understand – I’m TOO foolish and wild
I haven’t even reached to full maturity 
But how eye hope to see myself grow and be set free
From the world’s mayhem
Is there a solution to this problem?

And I’m left with no answer…
My eyes are eager to see…another bright day 
And the night is coming to haunt me… 
I find myself slowly disappearing from sight…
When will God give me a purpose to fight? 
When will He feed me His awesome might? 

Just support me…especially during my downfalls
Please answer my calls!

And I’m left to venture off into His path…

Eye can’t escape my terrible nightmares 
Consider my calls of acceptance…my grief weighs a ton
Let me pour forth my tears – 
Do me a favor and cast away my fears
Steer me away from disorder and confusion

Eye can see you’re making great progress
You’re heading towards a brighter, superb future…

My eyes 
No longer witness oblivion 
My eyes
Looks beyond the earthly pain…
bEyOnD the affliction 

I spot a rope in the distance. . . . . 

Push aside the waves…and let me
Grab it this instant!
God feeds me His love…and treats me
Like a newborn infant!

Eye see my Father with brand-new eyes  
I feel rare content
And I feel hardly any resentment

Eye 
cherish 
that 
REMARKABLE 
moment 


Details | Free verse | |

Blue Flames

Her love is destructive 
like blue suns turning my
black sand beach into glass
Boiling away my oceans setting my fields
ablaze in blue flames bringing an end to 
my world
Written by Keith Edward Baucum aka Mr 
Seven 
aka The Green Poet aka The Brown 
Philosopher


Details | Free verse | |

A Glimpse Inside The Human Heart

They say it's a phase, that I'll be alright. They don't realize I can't stand another fight. I will 
not cry. I'd rather die than show my weakness to the world. Few crawl close to my heart. 
Hopeless, a lost cause, I'm lost on my way. The road of life gives me trouble each and every 
day. How much more can I take? Who knows? We'll just have to see and watch how it goes. 
Alone, with no trust, and hurt pretty bad. They all wonder why i'm always so mad. As a child, 
all I ever wanted to do was please Daddy Dear. But in our power-play, he beat me into fear. 
I tried to find love in the darkest of hearts, only to get myself shredded apart. Beaten, 
ravaged, and raped by that one, there isn't a cure left under the sun but the love and healing 
in the arms of another. Thrown out by my grandpa, left on my own, I'm afraid to walk this 
world alone. Where will I sleep? Where will I eat? When will I befall my final defeat? And 
sitting here, writing this letter, I know that this life will not get any better. The golden years 
were spent getting beat. growing up, I've sustained the heat. Now as I crash, and crumble to 
dust, my heart, once golden, is left to rust. Misunderstood and unloved with no where to 
turn, I prepare my ashes to lie in the urn. Unless you've been here, you don't know what it 
can be, and if you're lucky, you'll never have to see."


Details | Free verse | |

I cried into the night

I cried into the night
death that I might die
my life was a ransom of pain
the work in my life felt in vain

Yet slowly eye's raised to light
and found my heart liked to pray
death what is death
perhaps just the door

To a living much better than that
Gods life can bring smiles to your day
another life lost heart break and sad
perhaps they do find loving dad

fighting myself grim ripe and bad
my mind a caldron of pain
the war of my mind was so bad
an equal to each fight I had

battle the rage felt within
free yourself from your cage
learn to live and love life
learn to be true to your self

What is death to God
his time to embrace us with life
our lives to his heart
his time to share love 

To us it's the end of this life
to him it is the begining of care
perhaps we roam as angels
through a world of starlight bright

Know I not for I am not God
hate him not for he is not death
love the builder of worlds
love death as the doorway to life

Do not rush towards heavens gate's
we have such a short time to wait
take the time to find love's embrace
learn to love your birth

Grace our lives with smiles of peace
as friends lets embrace live's we live
In loving god know then this peace
you know not the gifts that he give's

The ones lost to us only just wait
Wait for our loving embrace
yes it is true there's anger in you
How could he take what he gave

Know I not for I am not God
I do not then know why we suffer so
I just know that life has it's end
again we will meet then as friends

If we live in this pain
embracing the drain
the task of living is dread
we have choice we then can move on

We can sing the living song
return to embracing our live's
enjoy the evening sky's
take the time to watch the birds

To taste a fine wine
enjoy a fine meal
to hug then a lover
enjoy a kids squeal

Eat a meal to quickly 
and the taste is lost in the rush
take the time then to walk
enjoy a sweet talk

perhaps you'll find the time care
to share just slightly more fun
employers push make you rush
sometimes it's better to walk 

To bring then your joy back to life
to bring back your humour and love
to bring back the smiles to this life
to take back the time for fun


Details | Free verse | |

Goodbye, Farewell

Goodbye, farewell There is a time for everything But time for me has drawn its wings back away Leaving me to the sad hellos of today Do I wish to embellish in the sounds of your pain? Or will I take the back way into town to seek the reigns? Tension like ice crackles at the sound of departure Sometimes leaving it alone is harder I never expressed the selfish growths of my pride I am sickened in darkness, stuck in this mind Where is the heart when one needs the goodbye? Where is the mind when I break down and cry? Goodbye, farewell I never amounted to much Though I was granted everything My wings are folded too tightly with time The meat is tucked beneath and only I feed On the breadth of my own luscious nourishment Will I crush you with indifference? Silently beat you with fervent fury? Will I flood with tears of inward emotion? The sick selfishness one masks as devotion! Heat melts away the ice Replaced by tethered spite Goodbye, farewell! Before the night sweeps you away I never will cherish this today I will let the time dive into the abyss With the greetings and salutations one will never miss I will ride into the fiery skies with no care but my own Landing in turbulent waters in winds that moan There is a reason but it is unknown And that is how it will always be Can’t you see this is good for you? This is the only way—I fear for you Abandonment is only an emotion So, goodbye, farewell


Details | Free verse | |

GROWING UP

On the empty floors I am watching the nights roll
flowing in other nights.
Nature's mirror has come to give birth and to destroy
the typhoons are embracing me, an unstoppable power
in my two arms.
Between logic and the holy the notions are lost
I am turning blue inside the sky's blue.
And I return again and again to repay the same sin
upon which my own blood has dropped
and with blood I try for centuries to pay.
My form is drawing circles
-what is your name?-my name is Human.
Can this mortality embrace the darkness?
Can my bare hands hold within them the air?
I was born for the renaissance of colours,
I threw green and yellow at the edge of the horizon,
I painted red the lost dreams of history
and I placed white on all the spots of the sky.
I was born to destroy and I dig pits everyday,
I bury inside them living truths and I cover them with shovel and water.
Be quiet! The seasons are sleeping...
With small knives I carve the corners of the world
until I find the bone to puncture it, deeper and deeper.
Our fears are breaks of the Universe
they are transfered from planet to planet,
they change orbit, while cleaving the clouds.
''Learn how to walk, learn how to talk, learn how to kiss, learn how to leave, learn how to love, learn how to kill"...
Hollow bodies at the mountains top are burning with the flames of redemption.
They carry the same rock everyday, everynight until they reach the end,
the end that doesn't exist.
They fill the glasses with water, the glasses that dont have bottom.
Don't ask me to change the world, you only gave me soil but you have forgotten the water
and with hands dry and dirty I collect time to repay you
for your graces, because there is light and there is darkness, because I stop in front of red and I walk in front of green.
But you don't know, you don't, that I find strenght everyday, since I opened my eyes,
I am preparing in silence and I am clentcing my teeth
because the time will come, when I will throw a big punch at this carton world,
I will tear it up in half and I will see what lies behind,
behind the lie.
Shaken off from my dirty morality
I will touch the sacred redemption
I will wake up from the dream,
I will embrace at last, for the first time, reality.


Details | Free verse | |

working on myself

i'm working on myself
this may take a while
i should be searching for help
but i know how to fake a smile

they tell us to express ourselves,no swearing
walk arounf with my headphones blaring
grew up without a mum and dad
use my idols Eminem and Cristiano Ronaldo to clone parents

it's funny i used to find growing up in care embarrasing
like my parents don't want me,so who else will
then i realised life isn't a race it's a marathon
hide my insecurities,let them see my arrogance

think what you like,i don't care at all
learned to pick myself up
so a im not scared at all
this world can't beat me.unless i choose to self-destruct

i speak what others are scared to voice
my whole life leaving me paranoid
but i use my pain as encouragment
and i use the rain as nourishment

i'm me haven't got another side to show to you
yeah my past has left me a little emotional
trust no one.love no one.everyone is disposable
so i won't allow myself to get close to you

i've got a fear of love
people add tears,takeaway trust
then i'm left trying to clear my cuts
the heart you see here is shut

i'm not half the man i used to be
that's right.i'm twice the man
you expected me to hide and fall
i decided to fight and sand


Details | Free verse | |

The Black Abyss

Sinking in deeper,
No way to escape,
The dark and scary Reaper,
Fore told in the Book of Life.

Is this my end?
Will I ever see the light of day again?
No. My wounds, I must mend.
I must find my strength.

Stand my ground,
Face my fears.
Only then will my voice be found
I must survive.

Break the suffocating chains,
Run from the darkness.
Power will fill my veins.
I will Fight!

Fight the painful names,
The horrid memories,
The demented games 
And escape My Black Abyss.


Details | Free verse | |

The Empty Room

She sits,
Silent as the wind.
She glances up at the clock.
Waiting,
Watching.
Her body flows
Like the waterfall 
Looming over her.
The letters on the 
Desk call to her.
Whispering sweet
Things about
Her soul.
The air blooms 
Through her lungs
And grows as she 
Sighs.
Her head is full.
Full of the sea.
Changing and 
Swirling like 
A torrent of 
Thoughts.
Her hands tremble
Like the windows
In a hurricane.
She is they
Mirror. Reflecting 
Back what every
Body wants to see.
She is one.
She is none.
She is heaven.
She is hell.


Details | Free verse | |

Losing Myself

I cry myself awake
In the middle of the day
Because of a decision I made
Not to spend time with you.
And now everything I am
Is falling apart into pieces;
I feel like I am losing you
Because I am losing myself.


Details | Free verse | |

Pandemic

I have a problem with ignorance they say that it’s bliss;
But when you are blinded, there’s a lot that you miss.
The screams are all muffled into some kind of silence;
Your mind is attracted to all types of violence.

You avoid the trauma of those in pain,
Start focusing on success and what you can gain.
Your vision is clouded with thoughts of envy and wealth.
You ignore the symptoms and the decrease in your health. 

You digest all of the toxins and they’ll say you’re insane;
All while the poison seeps into your brain. 
You are void of all conscious thought;
You think that you’re good but really you’re not.

The evil possesses you in all that you do,
You think you have faith but you haven’t gotten a clue. 
The demons take over and then you are at loss;
Answering not to yourself but another big boss. 

You’ll start longing for a saving grace,
From up above or outer space.
An entity to save your soul-
To take away your sinful goal. 


Details | Free verse | |

suicide

I'm lost in this evil desert
Where no one can find me no one can see me
There's no sign of water not a single tree
So long I tried to break these shackles tried to be free
Tried to do things I shouldn't do, were at places I shouldn't be
I lost myself in the sand storm, so careless I was
How can I expect someone to touch me when I'm so far
I don't know myself yet want someone near my heart
I pushed everyone away,I still want company
Relying on others to give me some sympathy
Depending on him to cover my wounds
Scratching my own scars making them fresh and bleed
No ones is evil, no one tried to be mean
I do this to myself , I am my own enemy.


Details | Free verse | |

THOSE LITTLE STICKS

those lost sticks i pick 
them up from the ground
where you left them lost 
and not found
those little sticks i put 
together
those sticks you 
scattered-asunder
those sticks i gave you to 
keep
those sticks you made to 
weep
i pick them up
and cure them  so they 
can sit up
an gathering them all 
together
making them whole 
again
so i put them under cover
so they don't get hurt 
again
I am shaking up those 
sticks
The sticks of my 
heart.........




(i would appreciate a 
comment or even a 
saving by my 
viewer.thank you for 
writing)


Details | Free verse | |

Tear Infested World

My mind, sophisticated yet so empty at times Leaving me lost during hours of missing dreams You don’t believe in me, thus I’m barren No landscape do I have within my intrigue I lose my heart words when you listen intently Trying to identify the meaning of my craft No hills, no valleys, not even a forest exists Just emptiness within my dead brain, I’m hopeless You don’t desire to read any further inside me For I can’t express reality without insanity I must be crazy to find adequate words to say And even then, they are sputtered about Now you can’t see anything within me I trip over myself, whatever is left of me And you can’t find me anymore, I’m still lost And I wander around, looking for an answer Somewhere within the landscape, I’m blind Nothing is inside of me except white light Blinding you and keeping me trapped within Now the truth of this world at which I live in You won’t look for me, I’m lost, without hope I cannot handle the emotion, I cannot hold life Now you leave, as you had to do, and I nearly die A world of nothing of which I reside, I cry Now I lay down, numb, within the brightest light I lose all emotion, I become nothing here I don’t find any stimuli, I’m living death Nothing can change it, and you don’t care anymore I will always remain lost, in a tear infested world Russell Sivey Contest: INTO NIGHT'S DWELLING Sponsor: nette onclaud 1/1/2014


Details | Free verse | |

Lonesome on the Beat way

Lonesome on the beat and path;
I am lonesome on the Beat way.
On the Road with Jack Kerouac 
and having a lunch naked with William S. Burroughs,
while listing to Allen Ginsberg
telling us how he saw the minds of his generation
go with madness.

The red heads and the brunettes
lost all their ways
as they go down on one-another.
Women in white lingerie
killed as the boys in blue jeans
kill each other with laughter and foolish jokes.

Agree with me,
if you may;
and paraphrase if you would, please do,
to see if I have gone mad,
or just talking outside of the box.

I walk alone, lonesome with books of dead poets,
trying to become my own person,
losing that war to me, myself and I.
Hold close to me, but don't stare into my eyes,
for you'll fall madly in love with me,
or grow mad yourself
and feel my pain.


Details | Free verse | |

MY LIBERATOR

MY LIBERATOR
(Written upon the death of a thirteen –year –old girl as eulogy)



The ill-fated day of death came unexpectedly 
To my great surprise
As life’s iron grasp of my hand, had lost its
Strength and vigor
And that of death’s had gained much power
And might
In vain I cried for life’s help, for she had lost 
The battle 

So, the cold hands of death I felt around my
Skeleton waist
Violently squeezing me with all their force 
And main
Eager to extinguish in me they wish, the very last
Spark of life
And as now the shrilling wind of death, is howling
Throughout my body
I fall breathless, DEAD and motionless over the ground
Remain

Yet, I am still here, just hovering all around my 
Inanimate body,
Surprised! Confused! Bewildered, nevertheless
EXISTING!
With no hands, no arms, no legs, no head or any
Other organ,
Just pure thought, pure consciousness, pure light,
In other words a SOUL

Death, you are my savior, my friend my 
Ally
Thank you for delivering me from agony and
Pain
From space, time, ignorance, ignominy, 
Injustice
And most of all, I thank Thee for the eternal 
Life

Now, to those of you who many tears of sorrow
Have shed for my sake
One thing I have to ask: Rejoice for 
I am truly alive
Dead was I certainly, when among you
Existed,
Therefore, your grief for me should turn to
Great joy,
If you do not want me to pity you and delay
My flight

Impatient my soul now becomes, needs to
Fly away
Far from human misery and every other
Worry 
The only thought that exists deep down in
My soul
Is to trace back its steps to its celestial
Home

Now, I fly uninterruptedly, I am on my
Way
As the shining bright stars illumine my
Road
The road of accomplishment, attainment and
Glory
Ah, there at last I see the ever dazzling
Light
The gates of eternity to open for me 
Wide
And God Himself to look at me with His ever
Blazing eyes
Calling to hurry forward and with Him
Unite
Instantly I disappear in a universe of sacred
Light
Joyful, happy,  jubilant, ecstatic, ever-
Blissful 
Becoming one with the ONE, immortal
Everlasting 
Radiating with holiness, enraptured with
Grace
A ray of divinity encompassing the 
COSMOS

Oh, how grateful I am to you DEATH
                                        My LIBERATOR!

©Demetrios Trifiatis


Details | Free verse | |

Alone

I bet you that you didnt care
about how i was doing over here
all alone on the floor drowning in life that's poor.
Confused and all by myself,
feeling that i lost all self-control.

I bet that you dont care
how my mom helped you with welfare, 
trying to do whats right you burn a house
in all your shame you go to jail and
 fail to show up for my birth.

I bet you don't know how it was,
to be without a dad who lost his self,
in the dark all alone he sits in a phsyco home.

Where his mom feeds him and,
tells him how she tried to see me,
after fifteen years i fell apart, trying to pick up my broken heart,
but still i bet you didn't know how it felt to be alone.


Details | Free verse | |

'Lost'

 I got lost 
in between the lyrics 
of your favorite song 

 I got lost 
in between the words 
of the unfinished letter 
that I wrote to you 
 
lost in between
 the moments of bliss 

in between
 the chaos of 
your strong arms 

the word lost deferred 
WITHOUT DIRECTION

with you my 
world is perfect 
from the inside 
deeply content 

in between the lines of 
the sketch I never saw,
the sketch I only dreamt about... 

I am lost in you
yet,
       I am home…


Details | Free verse | |

Too Close Am I

I shattered my own heart,
Wrecking balls, tumbling decisions,
It fell upon me too late,
Forever and now I will lose what I held so dear,

But I held it out at arms length,
I let it fall, the uncurling my fingers,
Sinking into an emotional seat that engulfs me,
I so desperately buried the threat,

Happy once, I have not forgotten,
The taste of joy upon my lips still,
How could one ever forget the ecstasy that is happiness,
For we all seek it within the nil,

Berserk and rampant in my head,
A beast set loose upon my mental state,
So silent am I, my comfort so walks away,
So silent I can hear the screams echo within the blank,

Damp and dark are my thoughts of late,
Cramped tight inside, no prison break,
Hoping to find my way,
Before fear swallows me in regret,
And I become lost in my own wake.


Details | Free verse | |

Kneel with Fear

How can we fear what we’re meant to fear if fear has been taken from the equation 
in the land of the forgotten the streets poured with fear of what was to come if they 
didn’t live right if they lost their footing and fell but now there is so much chaos 
what’s to fear anymore how can they fear if some of the most terrifying things are 
staring back at them from their very own television sets when they walk out their 
door a friend telling them of a man that was brutally murdered describing the lay out 
without even a quiver everything frightening is so common now why do you think 
we’ve lost sight of what to believe in why do you think in revelation it goes on to 
say few will make it to heaven because most of us are too busy living in the new age an age built by the fallen ones with no boundaries no repercussions and no reason to believe that anything actually exists God will not come down here and show you his face if it was that easy why bother for us to be here in the first place question not what you need not question for all will be answered in time have you not learned patience through out this life do you always know everything right away or do you have to wait to find your way if you can answer that you should know it’s 
God you should fear in the land of the forgotten and in the new age as well

03/01/11


Details | Free verse | |

Wasted

Therein lies the answer,
Therein lies the truth,
Therein lies confession,
When wounded hearts we sooth

For reality is stark and painful,
When we turn into fools,
And the moment we admit it,
Is the time we break the rules,

And ignorance is bliss,
For the hidden nail is seldom hammered,
I’m not sure about you, 
But keep away from me please,

Keep away from me please,
For the night is young and lovely,
And the voice of the party is to be happy,
I don’t really need you now,

I don’t need  you conscience,
To tell me I am wrong,
For a just want to drown myself,
And get lost in this song

Chorus... 
 ( Tonight I’m running naked
And the dawn will make me cry
For I hate baring my soul by day
When the darkness bids goodbye

Tonight I’ll cast away my chains
And away from you I’ll fly
So deep you won’t be reaching me
No matter how hard you try )
...End of chorus

Therein lies delusion 
Therein lies the beast
Therein lies obsession
When from tired hearts we feast

For the lies we weave are dark and silken
When we feed on deceit 
And the soft flesh of misery,
Is where we sink our teeth

Dark temptation is real,
For the walls we make are easily trampled,
I’m so sure about it 
so keep away from me please

Keep away from me please,
I’d rather be alone and lonely,
For later you’ll just regret my company,
Go, keep away from me now

I have lost my conscience
That tells me right from wrong,
So if you don’t want to drown yourself,
Don’t fall hard for this song

REPEAT CHORUS


Details | Free verse | |

Natural Alliance

Say, O melancholy moon,
Did someone steal
your sleep like mine too,
Why do you pace
across the sky
the whole night through?

O somber clouds,
Pray tell me this:
Did someone break
your heart like mine too,
Why do you shed tears
day and night through?

Say, O wailing wind,
Did you lose your
soul-mate like mine too,
Why do you wander
pell-mell over the seas
and the land through?

O forlorn heart of mine,
No more do you grieve alone-
Forbear awhile,
Sojourn in the lap of Nature
until love accompanies you
once again life through!



Details | Free verse | |

Sliding Down

I’m hoping for my dreams to become a reality
I’m hoping for a phase of gratitude
I’m rejecting my hopeless fate
I’m accepting your side of the story…but don’t intrude 

Unexpectedly, I believe in love in first sight
I grab the rope for extra support
It burns like a vertical line of fire
I’m unable to climb, but I seem too far from my desire 

I’m sliding down the rope, hanging from heaven 
They’re distraught by my absence
They’re cheering for me from down below
I’m sliding down… 

I cherish you like my own belongings
I designed you on my bedroom wall
I have you displayed deep in my heart
Believe me – you’ll never split it apart 

Every day I long for your touch – you changed my life around
My heart is blazing like the zealous sun…I prize my freedom and progress
The world is spinning endlessly as I kneel upon my knees 
And I imagine the memories we share with each other 

I’m sliding down the rope, hanging from heaven 
They’re distraught by my absence
They’re cheering for me from down below
I’m sliding down…

When I reflect upon the joyous times,
My heart never fails
To pound vigorously for you
I’m sliding down 
I’m looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you 

I see the light in your eyes
I don’t see an insidious nature in you…
I wish I hadn't believed in the lies
I never felt like a hopeless victim until I gave in to the darkness 

I’m sliding down the rope, hanging from heaven 
They’re distraught by my absence
They’re cheering for me from down below
I’m sliding down…

I’m glad I've met you in the first place
We’re a perfect match – 
Don’t deny it…you made me feel handsome
We’re on the road of victory
We’re making great progress
We’re hanging on the edge,
But we were rescued 
From sliding down…

At least we’re kept ourselves alive……


Details | Free verse | |

Protect Me As I Sleep

Nobody 
Knows my real name
‘Angel’ 
Is what I go by
I am freezing cold
I don’t have money
Just, the clothes on my back
I am a walking wardrobe
I am lonely
I smell like crap
I am starving hungry
I can’t find any shelter
My clothes are drenched
I look like a drowned rat!
Violence
Upon women
Is classed normal
Around here!
I wonder...
If
I will survive
Another day?
Only
To wake up
And
Do this
All over, again!
“Protect me tonight
As,I lay my head to rest”
“I love you, dear God”

“Goodnight”


Details | Free verse | |

The Window

pain is the return to a state of forgotten consciousness 
that lost land in the mind that went away 
but bubbles up like boiling acid amidst a sea of rusty metal 
pain
the gain 
of nothingness 
only reminders of what was lost 
a small child crying for its mother
a friend beyond reach
the window, the birds fly 
free
staring out upon a world of small people walking crying, dying, moving
on
all free, except me
in a small box
wanting to be free
wanting to fly, cry, die, move on
the wall cracks open just a little 
the door cracks upon a little more
the window swings open with a rush of cool wind 
blows the tears the sweat, everything but the pain
as i crawl towards the wind the freedom the mountain on high 
i see below me the people like a boy upon the ant hill
i fall, flapping my wings but realizing it just doesn't work that way
down
	down
		down 	
			down 
to nothing 
back where i started before 
only different this time 
my outside a reflection of my inside 
painful and beaten to a bloody beginning


Details | Free verse | |

The Aftermath

Ypres, was by far the worst:

Fields were littered with lost memories,
Dismembered dreams, 
Faded laughs and gestures-
The little nuances of life,
The things that made us tick...

All forgotten.

Some men walked among the bodies, smiling:
"Our fallen heroes, you shall rise and be commended for your 
service in the Kingdom of Heaven! May you rest in peace..."

They saluted their fate,
Eyes wet and wide with pride.

Yet others glued their gaze to the purity
Of the sky, void from sights of violence
Or the artifacts of war- 
Remains of fallen friends,
And the faces of the enemy-

"I rather not know".

By the second year I forgot what we were
Fighting for... Ourselves? Loved ones? God?

A ceaseless nightmare.

Here, a red shroud of violence and madness fell
Upon the men- A suffocating scarlet heat,
That sought to burst out through the horror
Of the war,

Different voices whisper:

"I will never see my family again..."
"I left him to die... it's my fault..."
"I have lost the grace of God..."

And now in unison:

"I am not human".

Some men turned against their brothers-
We were all in on it.

The trenches were our world,
We were invisible,
Shapeless,
And men became like rabid animals;

Murder, Rape, Self-Mutilation- Degeneration,
And it was finished.

Some came home,
But all were dead,
Trudging along the wartorn path,
Never to find peace again-
Lost in The Aftermath.


Details | Free verse | |

The Ripped Pages

The ripped pages,
torn from a red notebook
litter the ground.

And empty beer bottles,
are all toppled on each other
the wine bottles line the fireplace mantel.

Ripped pages from a red notebook
crumpled into balls,
torn from reality.

Like hearts broken,
from betrayal or heartache,
Ripped pages from a red notebook.

Torn pages,
ripped pages,
torn from a red notebook,
the notebook of life.

Ripped pages litter the ground,
and I open a bottle of beer,
I drink.

I light a cigarette,
I inhale,
fill my lungs with clouds of grey.

Ripped pages from a red notebook,
the notebook of life,
here I go, writing another poem.


Details | Free verse | |

The Tidal Wave

The Tidal Wave

I saw a tidal wave come in,
Raging winds and fierce water
Rushed,
Took the houses, cars, trees,
Street signs, park benches,
Pictures of loved ones
(Poor baby Louie, 3 years old washed away)
And along with all the power
It tore my heart out of my cage
And swept it out to the 
Endless seas,
And the great white sharks
Have their way with my heart.

Now bleeding and dying,
Pain follows me,
And I close my eyes,
And wish it all to be done.
Pray for me, I want pain no more.
See tears fall from the corners of my eyes,
As I breathe in and feel no heartbeat.
And they all look at me,
Faces of nomads and they snicker
At me,
I hang my head and cry tears,
But the tears were washed
Away in the tidal wave,
So I sit there,
Eyes closed
And I sleep the night away.

-10/2/2013-


Details | Free verse | |

The Shade of Blue

The sun is the spotlight…when I perform a fabulous song
It’s like a disco ball above my head
Swarms and swarms of fans surround me
As I swiftly walk up on stage without hesitation
My heart is pumping rapidly with anticipation 
The city lights aren’t in use…but the artificial lights are shown
The spotlight shines down on me…
Like the smiling sun when I trek the mountains happily
But, you are the moon,
You are the shade of blue...don't feel guilty
You are the beautiful shade of blue...I want you to see
I want you to see
How amazing and wonderful you are to me
I followed your voice…
I followed His voice…
Leaving me time to rejoice
Not manipulating me like a worthless toy
I'm no longer an immature boy,
But a mature, sympathetic guy 
I know I can be pathetic...but I don't easily cry
Don't weep, you strong sheep
Just keep grazing in the land of delight, not lament
We both got to repent...
'Cause you and I have taken him for granite
Now, we're the shade of blue
It sounds so familiar
It’s very impressive and peculiar
Swarm around
Swarm around me
Don’t make a sound…
You buzzing bee – 
Don’t sting me with your jealousy
I’d rather hear you delightfully sing in harmony
With me…I wish it was meant to be
Don’t chase away our vibrant victory
You can share it with us…
I won’t mind handing you a portion of ecstasy  
You’re a story that I’ve read 
When I get up on my somewhat neat bed
I’ve read you many, many times already
I’ve noticed a difference in you…please forgive me for being too carefree!
In my heart’s opinion, you are as moving and clever as awesome rhymes
How many times…how many times…
Do I have to remind you about that? 
Do you need a thinking hat? I’ll chase after you like a cat,
Trying to catch the rat
By the tail…but it becomes a fail 
Our friendship will never decay or become stale
Like milk that gets left on the counter for hours or days…
Have I ruined your self-esteem? 
I don't scare if you lash out at me or scream
In my face...I need to have a hint that you need space
I know I can really hit a soft spot...but I wanna know just in case:
Is everything OK or what?
What's happening in your life, dear friend?
Did I make you feel worse? i didn't mean to offend...
I'll try to be kinder to you
For you can't help being the shade of blue
But, if you need someone to talk to about anything,
Speak your mind...I'm opened to most everything! 
I’ve been scattering everywhere like cheerios on the kitchen floor
Don’t lose contact with me…
I want you to stay next to me today


Details | Free verse | |

Found

Time … to open
My eyes…
Time … to finally realize
I am the monster … glazed in guise
Time … to take responsibility
Of your slow demise
Of your haunting, screaming, aching unconditional agony
Time … has stopped
I am horrible
Hyperventilating, breaking…
Crying—smiling, faking 
Time … to see where the snake slithers tonight
Smirking in its venom of spite
To see myself crawl in its loosened skin
And become one with its kin
The slits of his eyes frighten me
But I welcome his sick visions
Who made these sticky decisions?
Time … to do something
To help you—to break me to pieces
I am the slime where you have broken through…so revolting
Time … to shake the sand away
To relieve the burning eyes from the blindness
Time to dip them in the cool water of action
Time …
To close up again
I wimper in the dark like a lost hound..

I am so afraid
Lost … but always found


Details | Free verse | |

Something Lost

For the first time in seven and a half years You truly disappointed me For the first time in seven and a half years I wasn't proud of you And today you discovered that you Didn't have the ally in me, You perhaps always thought you had Today we both lost something Today we both lost that belief in each other And I cannot help but feel That things between us Will never ever be quite the same again


Details | Free verse | |

Our Divine Haven

This town was the place we used to call our haven 
You don’t remember which road we’ve driven on 
The stars were shining against your cherished soul 
You’re a part of my belongings 
You’re ascending above the ground 
The peace is still like hidden treasure – it’s bound to be found

I believe in you…I put my faith in you
After the miracles you’ve performed 
You don’t agree with what you truly are 
The sky is grieving 
You jump from puddle to puddle
You’re struggling to meet your destiny  
Even if your body is saturated in sweat
You must keep your head above the sea

Follow me and I’ll lead you to divine haven 
Forgive the past that embraces you with remorse and think upon our jubilant future
It’s tempting to just give up and turn around 
I could tell you've been stressing out 
But rest your head on my shoulders and let loose your strain on me  

Each melody is an exquisite sound that bounces into our ears
Commotion and strife will cease and your heart will be free
We’ll flee  together…despite the unwholesome weather 
The voyage has just begun…hold my hand and we’ll rise like the sun
Trust me…we will be strengthened and well-equipped before we take that road of victory  

Follow me and I’ll lead you to divine haven 
Forgive the past that embraces you with remorse and think upon our jubilant future
It’s tempting to just give up and turn around 
You’d rather be drifting away and never be seen again 
I wanna change your mind and erase your frown
Take your mind off of the distressful past
Let loose your strain on me  

Hey! I know you’re stronger than you realize
You’re not a failure – don’t be disheartened  
Don’t worry…you and I will earn our future prize 
This mess will clear up in a moment
Just stay by my side and never depart 
From the light… I promise that we’ll endure till the end
Just stay nearby and our hope won’t tear apart
We are willing to do anything to attain our wishes and delight  
Let’s take action and snatch our glory before our time is up 

Follow me and I’ll lead you to divine haven 
Forgive the past that embraces you with remorse and think upon our jubilant future
It’s tempting to just give up and turn around 
You've been trying to keep a steady pace 
But rest your head on my shoulders and let loose your strain on me

Let loose your stress on me…
Don’t be under pressure
Let me handle your anxiety…
Reach towards our divine haven
Do you need a helping hand? 

I wish you a carefree 
Future


Details | Free verse | |

The Lost Sound

Why oh why should I have this woe
of this my birth tongue and it’s style,
the old days have gone
like a long lost song,
minds of a past nursed in thought.
As I sit with my truth
to the days gone by
I heed the sound of that, which is past
my gran, my mum, my dad
the folk from this dale God did bless.
Yet now it is the start to the new day
but the same where one does roam,
the tongue in tone blends all
no clue to whence one came,
as speech has lost its trait!

© 2013   


Details | Free verse | |

Devil Inside A Bottle

The Devil Inside A Bottle The devil inside the bottle, only kept laughing at me. As he saw how I got lost for a love that couldn't be. I just kept drinking and drinking. The devil kept looking at me. I told him and asked him to help me, so my love could come to me. The devil told me - you once had a chance and lost it. Your love now has someone else and you, only belong to me. I kept drinking and drinking hoping my love's face to see. I didn't realized what a fool my drinking had made out of me. All I could see was the devil inside the bottle, that kept laughing at me...
Written by Lucilla M. Carrillo


Details | Free verse | |

WE LOST

We lost Haile Selassie I
But the Lion still roars
We lost Martin Luther King
But the dream lives on

We lost Bob Marley
Who said get up stand up for your rights
We lost Malcolm X
But his racial segregation fight still burns bright

We lost Mother Teresa
She fought for justice inspiring humanity
We lost Mahatma Gandhi
He visioned humanity evolving toward peace & harmony

People seem to have lost themselves 
To sinful annihilation
People have lost their way it seems like
Finding the truth & the path to their salvation

It is said no lost, no gain
And no gain, no lost
Blessed are the Meek for they shall inherit the earth
and the fullness thereof 

Blessed love my brothers and sisters


©Copyright Brian Pierre-Alexander -Sept. 2011
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Free verse | |

Canvas of Love and Light

 A beautiful canvas stretches out before you your eyes lock onto it your in great disbelief of what you see and what has so suddenly been bestowed upon you  it feels as if you were in a different place in time as you let yourself drift off into its inspiring existence you find yourself wondering how this wonderful creation came to be this painting is by far the most alluring you have ever seen and has you completely mesmerized you start to realize that it is the world that is making it so hard to figure out they have been reprogramming you for far too long but something from deep within you won't let you lose focus from this inviting scene then like a beacon shining oh so bright an angelic voice whispers in your ear listen to your heart for it knows the way continue on the narrow path you've been walking and you will not be so fortunate you have lost yourself and for that you will pay but fear not you are still capable of finding your way come with me into the canvas of love and light you may then seek your forgotten soul once you have found it the veil will be lifted and my words will cease once more…

 For those of you reading the canvas is the forgotten beginning that we lost sight of so long ago the beauty grace purity things that should of never changed but in an instant was taken away for our ignorance so do what you must and find your way to the canvas of love and light let it touch your heart and awaken your senses putting us one person closer to a better world

contest: Free Verse Frenzy


Details | Free verse | |

Disappear

Forever lost
Deep within jungles
Vines of confusion
Strangling you to suffocation
Searching for the end
Struggling more in panic
Hoping for the end
Looking for home

Hush now, breathe
Close your eyes
And reawaken to truth
Regain your senses
Your objective so obscure
Only possible in painted fabrications
A foundation of sand
So easily blown away

Why cling to a stone
When the ocean moves all
Incapable of understanding
Do not force your mind
Settle for what society pushes
Accept what is never to be
Gauge your eyes with their hot irons
Lose the ability to see

How lost you are not
Bound to society’s quest 
An endless journey
So many partake
A path pre-cut
Leading you to your salvation
I laugh at your controlled confusion
At your pathetic being

To be lost forever
How I crave such a thing
Not bound or held down
Keep moving for no reason
Wishing to be found without looking
Never calling out, only listening
A ghost, without a trace
Forever invisible, forever lost


Details | Free verse | |

Memories Made

The coldest white had fell
Surrounding all the feet of those behind
The day turned into hours
Just in the mind
Did the gift appear in night?
Or were dreams reality?
Did it come from karma’s hands?
It drifts from sanity

The trek towards that happy place
You’ve been there many times
Something was different now
It held a horrible surprise
The box wasn’t full of life and sound
The ashes of memories made were here
Taking longer to twist the knife
Left remains of a child now in tears

Standing still you couldn’t breath
Excuses flying in your mind
Trying to figure out the scene
Hoping there’s time
You look up to see
Expectant eyes for the last time
You wish you could keep
But it’s the saddest of a smile 


Details | Free verse | |

The lost ship

It's been down in the ocean for many many years
Drowned and lost family members so many tears
Now filled with lost treasure and a story to tell
The people on that ship went through pure hell
From the moment it was sinking they knew it wasbad
Thinking of their family members at home knowing they were sad
the ship only leaves memories of time gone by
All we have left is photos to look at and cry


Details | Free verse | |

It Hurts

You let go and want to forget 
Why does he need to be around me 
I still feel the pain 
Is he still in my chain

I don't want this feeling
Pain keeps hiding 
I want to talk to you 
I want to tell you I Still Love you

I m happy to see you smile
It hurts cause I m not the reason behind your smiles
I thought I have you forever
but now your gone... it hurts forever


Details | Free verse | |

Words Of Loveless

I hold my breath, feeling the blade pierce my chest
Letting out a muffled cry from my blood red lips
Whimpers of pain echo about this dark damp room
Blood runs down my breasts like small trickling streams
I fall to my shaky knees, crying blood of hurt

Your words are a blade, killing my heart
The burning betrayal of your loving lyrics
Just finish me off, throw me into oblivion 
If I've lost you, I've lost all purpose
You were my blood, keeping me alive

I wrap my unstable fingers around the steel hilt
Pulling, I cry out pathetically, fighting death
Your words shallow into meaningless turmoil 
Did you only mean to hurt me? Kill me?
'I hate you' is as if saying to me 'Die'


Details | Free verse | |

The Hawk

The Hawk flys overhead
soaring everlasting in circles
around the poor field mice.

six o'clock.

The Red Sun is now parrallel
to the treeline in the West.
Six o'clock
Dinnertime.
The hawk dives down, like a speeding bullet
and snatches up a small mouse, who was walking
along the corroded barbwire fence,
with his sharpe and dangerous talans.

Six o'clock. Feeding time.
A lover is now gone from the world of field mice,
Just like that.
With the turn of a hand on a clock
Six o'clock.
With the rumble of a Hawk's empty stomach
now a fellow mouse is gone. Forever.

Sad, isn't it?


Details | Free verse | |

Pawn

And so do I fall, and so do I fail,
Falling so deeply into this destructive void,
Nothing but ash and specs of dust that were once my brittle bones and scarred flesh.

To not know what is ahead,
How maddening! How so distraught have I seemingly become,
Forgotten myself as time has smoothed over me.

Tricky, sly fiend indeed; master and slave a like to us all.

Do I dare move forward into the uncertainty that is humanity and of such society?
So gut wrenching, thoughts filled of bile at what is.

As we all are from and are the same, yet tear limb by limb the essence of ourselves by one another in an endless state of bigotry and violence; so brightly are we bathed in evil.

So easy is it to see.

Miracles; perhaps shall they see fit to carry me away from the void that is, and from such temptation, as to live the rest of days in blissful, stagnant dreams.


Details | Free verse | |

Rosa Canina

Of Radiance
Red fire and blaze, locks of shining scarlet
Emerald intrigue, gems of such precocity
Soft half-moons upon a perfect helix, temptatious
And a helm so bright, so sweet, so tenatious

Of Pleasure
Anticipation weakening me, I find myself helpless
The gates open and the hounds are upon the fox
The world peels away and there is nothing to remember
All wits lost about me, lost to the slow burn

Of Pain
And yet this primal heat cannot melt my ferrous hold
As I clamor about in this days lap
My abysmal core is unwilling, entrenched and stolid
It will not be moved behind the furrows of love

And so I can offer myself as nothing more than the Rosa Canina
The heights of pleasure entangled with the depths of pain


Symbolism:
According to Victorian Floriology, the Rosa Canina or Dog Rose has the meaning of "pleasure 
and pain" (felt at the same time).


Details | Free verse | |

A Cry of The Heart

I never want to leave your side again
To be parted once more would be intolerable
You provide the air with which I breathe
Alone I drift but in visual space
Surrounded here by all that is my flesh
In rooms here filled with laughter and spirits free
I am as lost as a homeless child
Bereft of all that I hold dear
You are the rainbow in a cloudless sky
The substance that fills my heart
And once more awakens it to life
With you at last I am whole again
Suddenly arisen from a desolate place
With you all longings and fears dispel
And with your presence I am at peace
Safe from harm the protector near
Small gestures of hand brushed against face
A look that I alone interpret
The laughter, the smile, the outstretched hand
That reaches for its mate and ignites the fire
Of wild abandoned longing and thirsting flames
String and bow with fiddler combined
Music filling the air with its sweetened sound
Without the player, loneliness invades the heart
Wood and strings, become just separate things
Like a nightingale bereft of song
Poor bumble bee lost of its sting
Life without purpose, pathetic dying thing.


Details | Free verse | |

The Mermaid

I turned to my love and said:
I am a Mermaid

A Mermaid?  My love replied
You are a woman

No
I am a Mermaid!

OK, I will indulge you
WHY are you a Mermaid?, my love asked

I answered:

A Mermaid has no tears, and therefore she suffers more than any woman

...............................

You see?

Yes
I see, replied my love

(And then he put his arms around me)


Details | Free verse | |

Eternal Battles: the good, the bad and the WITHIN, Part I

PART 1: BATTLE OF ADAM
And here HE is dwelling through the pages of life,

Preparing for yet another skirmish

HE has lost few battles, among the causalities 

Were faith, competence and passion;

They were severely wounded and in need

For a rehabilitation period

Mend the wounds, and heal the past;

After all this wasn’t a mere opponent

But one that is stubborn and was set on a crusade to

Eradicate all that is bright and colorful

HE is petrified, nervous and worried

Worried of consequences HE can’t afford to loose 

Loosing would mean defeat to HIM



This is PART 1 of the Main Poem "Eternal Battles" 
I would describe this Poem as A Dark Period in my life where
I lost track of my identity and was fighting for it.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost In My Thoughts

How long has it been?
How long have I been writing?
Did I miss dinner?
Has the sun gone down?
Is it rising in the east?
I could not hear the music I was playing
The radio’s battery died long ago
How could it have been silent for so long?
Could I have been lost in my work for so long?
Time went past without me noticing
I was sitting in my chair typing on my computer
Right where I started so long ago
Thinking and writing
Not noticing the world around me
I am forever lost in my thoughts


Details | Free verse | |

Reflections of Love

I need to heal and fast,
I can feel the time running out, all too soon.
But can't push myself out of the agony,
The threads of pain pull me back like a puppet.
 
I seem wrong to be grieving now, odd one!
Everybody else is no longer black,
Me, haven’t seen the sunlight for long;
The mansion, its corridors, the rooms  now my world.
 
The wound in my heart is still too fresh,
It forbids me from a sunset on the beach,
It forbids me from running or skipping,
It forbids me from laughter and joy...
 
In denial: they say but it's not all true, I accept
I know he is dead, He is no more
But do I dump him in my past and move on?
The thought makes me hate myself!
 
He would want you to smile again, live further..
Strangers tell me his likes and wants, the know-it-alls.
I look straight ahead and avoid their prying eyes
It’s a losing battle, I know but let me lose in grace...
 
Visitors keep pouring in, with flowers and tears.
He was a man loved by many, the crowd proves it,
Everybody seems shocked and pale but not as lost as me
I glide along the windows, reliving the shadow of memories...
 
The moments were many, uncountable even,
It crushes my soul to think, they are all I have,
I see his fingerprints on the window panes,
I search for mine too, just beside him they lay...
 
The garden is being watered, but by a strange hand
The plants understand the master is now below them, 
He will never enjoy their colors or drive away moths
His ashes and scent scattered around the mango tree..
 
I smile at the garden then burst out laughing,
Before I know, warm tears run down my nose
But there still lingers a smile, wet with glistening tears
I am happy he lived, he lived full and more...


Details | Free verse | |

Watching My Life Fall Apart

Alone, lost, confussed, broken, lost hope.
That is everything i feel.
i cant help it, its like watching a movie, but watching myself fall apart
it is like torcher, 
i am always alone, but that is my choice,
i am broken, ive been broken a couple of times,
i honestly dont believe in love anymore,
i have lost hope in love, it never last,
not true love, because their is no such thing.
im confussed,
where is my life going?
am i going to be emo forever?
will i ever get through this?
will i ever find someone that i really love?
so many questions,
and no answers for them. I think i should just leave the world,
becasue it is no fun watching my life, fall apart.
itslike im breaking my heart more and more everyday,
all the dreams, everything i want to come true, 
but deep down i know, it's never gonna happen,
just the thought of it,
breaks me into even more depression and sorrow..


Details | Free verse | |

Whacha gonna do now

Send me your crazy 
You’re lazy 
The hallucinogenic hazy
The sick mother ****ers 
Who wanna see you pushing daisies 

Gimme your sinners 
Gimme your saints 
Gimme that Uzi you used to paint over problems 
You claim to never propagate

You got no patience 
No hope 
No way to ****ing cope 
The only skill you offer 
Is slinging the ****ing smoke 

Be it from a barrel or pipe 
Your failure is ****ing ripe 

So whacha gonna do now?

Join me in the grave?
Or live in a cage? 

Either way you’re a slave of rage  
The deeds of yesterday 
Write today’s page 

Is this sinking through the layers of insanity?
Or is it blinded by worthless vanity?

Come tell me your sad tale 
Your miserable story 
Your existence that you fail 

It’s ok that you’re worthless 
It’s ok that you’re hollow 
It’s quite easy to see 
That it’s evil you follow 

From the beginning 
To the present 
You never had a chance 
It was always failure 
That you had to romance 

I don’t blame you in your need 
To feed your greed 
Though I do question your methods 
Upon which you proceed

Do you ever look at the pattern that you follow?
Indeed nothing new 
And quite violently hollow 

Ever wonder if you’re better than trash?
Or is the need for quick satisfaction 
Seem rash?

I have always wondered 
About the need for recognition 

Is it really satisfying?
To recognize one’s self addiction?

Thoughts to contemplate 
Of self worth’s fate

A lifelong pursuit 
Of green paper’s debate

Such a trivial pursuit 
I rate 

Eric (and sometimes not)



 





















Details | Free verse | |

A love so deep yet unseen

Girls with beautiful eyes - Pictures nr 23 I dreamed some day I would be a man Who was brave, and strong, and true. I dreamed that in the years to come I might find someone like you. You're a shaft of light in my crimson evening. Your long, silky, light brown hair it's virtually blonde And waxen arms, the well turned neck You are so deep, so strong in love made thunderstorms, Your shoulders are strong enough To carry the weight of the world, Yet gentle enough to give comfort. Lingering in the moment, lost in your eyes, I cherish the sweet surprise, my bathing beauty. My beach pearl, I'll dive for you, My life spins in tune with yours Twirling and dancing through open doors. A quiet breeze so warm and slow, Has drifted ‘cross my face. Like whispers lost at sea, we soar Beyond the sky of fire. The water calls us, shimmering warm, Let's slice the waves. A future bright and filled with love, I see that sparkle in your eyes, Through the dimness of the candlelight, You smile at me, then teasingly back your eyes. A love so deep yet unseen. ______________________ Thank you for reading. Chitta


Details | Free verse | |

Lifeless

The ER is a very chaotic place sometimes,
Happy people trying to save lives,
Good mornings escape into late evenings,

& No one will ever know when their time comes….

They called my phone said some blood was spilled,
Trauma room, a spirit gone away…

The puddle of blood was immense,
I’m sure she lost gallons,
Her eyes slightly open, will an absent sound of IV machines,
as I stare at this lifeless human being,
I begin to think back to my family.
There is nothing more traumatizing than witnessing a young teenage girl,
Discover the news of her mother, that has passed.

Even tears couldn’t show my sympathy.

Her hand had lost its grasp,
Blood dripping as I struggle between human emotion and professionalism,

NEVER WILL I EVER FORGET THIS DAY
August 27, 2012

Rest In Peace to a stranger that I will never know. Much love to the family that will miss her dearly


Details | Free verse | |

Crossroads

Lost...Confused...Undecided, Should I continue...or should I change direction. Their views on this; my trusted friends have shown. Lost in the emptiness of my mind. Drowning in the water of confusion Undecided...on who should I be with, Can not focus.. For it's shrouded by these thoughts. Wanting to be with one when I'm with the other, Wanting to be on that side...when I'm on this side. To think differently of my Future.. To worry if I can change my Present.. And leave everything in the Past.. I need to make my decision I need to make it now, but I'm still.. Stuck at these crossroads. Lost...Confused...Undecided.


Details | Free verse | |

Tortured Mind

Tortured Mind

My mind holds such confusion
Sadness fills my days
Deep thoughts steal my sleep
Dreams are nearly nonexistent
Nobody knows what my mind can do
Nobody understands what I feel
How my feelings draw the life from me
I cannot will myself to move
My body is unfeeling
Dead from years of torture and pain
I have eyes that do not see beauty
They have been blinded by a lack of emotion
When in more than 50 years did this happen?
What took my mind from me?
I will suffer with my mind in hell
Agonizing every minute of every day
No pills to take
No one to talk to
My mind rots deep in another reality
A reality with a million lost nightmares
It lost its way
It cannot come back to me
This reality is alien to it
I fight and fight to control it
To have it make sense
It never has
It never will no matter how I try
My mind and my life are hopeless
Given up on decades ago
Someday I will see a light
A pathway from my mind’s private hell
There is one problem
My mind will never find relief
Someday never comes


Details | Free verse | |

Palindrome madness

Flying above streams of love.

Poison flowing streams of hate. 

Streams dried and dead love found. 

Love lost love. 

Love found death.



Loving sounds drowned by hate.
The same hate that tore apart soul mates. Love was much,but hate over weight. Love on a silver plate, while hate on a golden plate. Is this the way of faith?If so it dose not seem to be accurate. Removing love from the throne, making hate chief of the state. Wells of love dried. It only became wet when it cried. Worldwide we cast this love aside. Still I stand by love,side by side. Along side the bonafide.

By: Elliott Bowe
Palindrome mad poetry contest.
The following lines are considered
Palindrome:Flying above streams of love.

Poison flowing streams of hate. 

Streams dried and dead love found. 

Love lost love. 

Love found death.


Details | Free verse | |

stand

deathily feeling's of lonliness your heart lost another part eye's shadowed with tears ,no need to feel a shame life may never remain the same The love and joy of the onesyou have lost feeling hurt aching longing for that time Wish you could have said goodbye don't worry it will go away life will still move on time steady peacing with your life wipe those tears of sadness form your eyes Open up your heart to remember the wisdom of words and love that was spread thorught that person day's of living on this earth For those clouds that seem to darken your day The words of it will be ok seem to all clashed and sound the same for in your heart you know that it is in your masters hand and when you see a weary soul reach out for to surive ones lose is to help another stand


Details | Free verse | |

The harsh light of day

The harsh light of day

The darkness surrounds you
It engulfs you
Paralyzed and broken, it drags you down
Deeper into its pit
Ascension, a fleeting dream
Demons surround you 
Torturing your soul further into madness 
Escape, there is none
Turning circles, spinning, you fall further still
Who were you
Where did you come from
No memory, black, all that's left is void
How can you get out
Who can you turn to
No one is there
You are alone
Completely alone 
Falling deeper into the abyss
Retreating into your fear
You scratch at walls hoping to dig free
You bleed 
you cry 
you scream into silence
Nothing
Solitude, darkness penetrating, consuming
That moment comes
The wicked one is ready to bow
Proud of his victory
Pleased by your inevitable demise
And then, alas
Out of the darkness
Something piercing, blinding
Indiscernible
Hope
A beacon
A voice saying you are not alone
An end to the darkness...
Salvation
Tis the harsh light of day 


Details | Free verse | |

I Smiled Today

I smiled today. Even though I can’t call you mine. I’m not going to give up though, Even if right now you are taken. I waited once when you were free and that was a mistake, But that’s okay ‘cause I’ve learned and I won’t make it again. I should’ve let you know but I was scared, and so I lost you. But I haven’t lost you forever; so I will continue on, Holding hope until you know the truth of how I feel about you. Whatever happens after that, I’ll let happen, But I’m no longer going to stand around loving you from afar, Wondering what could be. Wondering “What if”… No I will no longer do that, However while you are happy with another, I’ll keep myself busy with something else Until my time comes and when it does, I’ll be ready. So like today; I will smile tomorrow, And the next day, and the next day. And I will smile for all eternity While waiting for when I can call you mine.


Details | Free verse | |

Romance

Your so cold some one call 911 how do you repair a broken heart
The room doused in are blood regrets so many how did we get here
Death is near
To die of a broken heart 
Tragic way to part
Once so in love but now reduced to this
Give me one final kiss
Breathing slows pulse fades please tell me it's only a dream
How could I treat you this way please don't leave I still love you
Broken inside
Trapped in burning lies
Drowning in your blood
Fading fast lost forever in your eyes
My chest pounds addrenallin soars through me at this tragic affair
Your screams I can't bear
I remember how we used to be so lost in love we were so young
As I hold you in my arms your barley able to speak
I to am weak
You whisper I love you


Details | Free verse | |

Richard's Song

I know who i am not for what i've lost but 
for what I have gained no
weight lifted from my shoulders 
a twisted view without you a 
sick feeling fallen around me 
facing the gun one day I will to, 
my sea of lost souls
gained another a green eyed
man this man I based my life
on, picturing him laying in blood 
coming from a hole inflected by 
a hand of trust  
the lost love to never be felt
by me again tears starting 
from eyes of a confused son
and the pain just begins 
now I know who I am?


Details | Free verse | |

Green Eyes

Green eyes Crying tears of pain Not those physical But those of lost love Deep inside Love continues to beat For a hopeless soul Who has gone And left Leaving one disenchanted Disillusioned And desperate for The lost love Loving the illusion Of a person That would return The love back But now is no longer Participating in the exchange Of each other’s love It’s one sided now And painful Heartache rules one’s life And nothing will separate One’s love For the other Ever
Russell Sivey Entrant into Sandy Ivy D's "Go Green - what green means to you? (new or old poem)" contest 2/22/2013


Details | Free verse | |

The Post Lady

I see your van arrive, emblazoned with the postie sign,
the glamour that's within so hard to hide.
Your face so soft, smile so sweet,
such dazzling teeth that Simon Cowell can only strive for.

Gracious, unspoken, modest,
a tempt of gorgeousness that oozes without even trying.
Natural talent, bizarre, a dizzying height,
a rapture of beauty and one of heavens kisses.

Your eyes, they laugh.
To get lost in them is to get lost in an unending maze,
a welcome maze that no one would want to be released from.

You are your own picture, your own poem, your own song.
You can have your own flower but these you have to help grow.
You, you climbed the highest mountain and rained down on us with such blessed glory no nurture was needed.

We can borrow beauty, nip and a tuck, make up here, gym there - you just swarm it as if a tornado has come and ripped up the rule book.
Engrossed in a wave of oblivion your beauty amassed and fitted together like a freshly made jigsaw in tip top condition.

Enough of the adulation, 
I just can't wait to see your smile again.


Details | Free verse | |

Familiars

Ah, here you have come again,
Again you sit in this chair,
How familiar this room so is,
So solitaire in your life, ha, how fair it is,

How you engulf those emotions in bitter fire,
Drown your frown in a realization of emptiness,
How you realize the loneliness and abandonment of your mind,
Your hope and wish to fill the empty, lonely void,

Perhaps one day it shall all change,
But in the now you suffer,
You wonder your discoveries,
How enlightening were they really?

Hanging your head so low,
As if seeming to pray in the eyes of others,
In amidst reality you hide the corners of your saddened mouth,
Your hands caressing the wounded mask,

To lose yourself in words,
You search for comfort,
A faded hand upon your shoulder,
But your shoulders carry only the burdens of others,

To have your shoulders broken,
No others to offer theirs up,
You watch the river wash you away,
As you drown and ascend to your new home up above.


Details | Free verse | |

A Soul Will Be Saved

And then the day came
                That I found my self lost in the void of my own emptiness
And as suddenly as a tree bust into flames
      After being stuck by lightening
My heart sank
              I felt so lost and alone
The walls ran red with my blood
                     For they were all I had left to beat
And my busted knuckles bleed with the vengeance of hate
I cursed the Lord above as the gooners burst into my cell
AND WE FOUGHT
        Overcome and beaten
Hogtied and broken
                  I refused any medical aid
For my hate drank the pain
             And I wept
               ALONE
As deep as the peace of a deer lying in the meadow
I felt the Lord Jesus Christ come unto my soul
And to this day the thought of him
      The depth of his mercy
             Makes me cry
   For I have been forgiven
I became a man of living example
The future holds limitless opportunities for me
                         I bare witness to the darkness of addiction
                          For I have been delivered from the ashes
                            Set free from the chains that bound me
My soul is my Lords as my heart is my wife’s
My life belongs to anyone who is willing to learn
As I ready to embark on the journey of education
My excitement grows with each passing day
Because I know the Lord Jesus Christ
                       Will use me as a lantern of faith 
         And those who teach me will also learn from me
      For my knowledge of emptiness is as vast and barren
          As all of the great deserts spread around the world
            Compiled together in one 6’-2’’ 240 lb. frame
        The depths of my scars are like the Grand Canyon
          Amazing to see and impossible to comprehend
                   This is my story this is who I am
                    My past will never be forgotten
     Because it holds the possibility of higher education
            In regards to the overhaul journey of life
           And hopefully some where along the way
                          A soul will be saved


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Trying to find myself
Is the mirror  right
Or a case of split personality?


Details | Free verse | |

REFLECTION

The few i call my brothers
Are turning into niggas
those cute little things i couldn't take my eyes off
They've all ran off
To the deprived lands
In the city of lost souls
I want to join them
How i wish i could be them
But you cant make any different by being like everyone else

Happy home! happy homes
turning into obituary grounds
For those who lost there soul
To hate....to love...to passion....to confusion

Play grounds turning into pimp grounds
Lass turning to guards
Belittling those things we stand for.....



Details | Free verse | |

Not good enough for you

I’m not the man I want to be
For you and me
Thought we could be free
Like doves in love
Now push came to shove
And I lost my dove
The one
Never good enough
Thought I was this great guy
Guess I live life too high
I just want to get by
Not lie
But I lost your trust
Lost it all
No words describe
The hate
The pain
I suffer
Wish I was good enough for you
Soon enough you’ll say we’re through
Don’t know what to do
Because I’ve lost you
The one
That I love
Like no one else before
Now I lay on the floor
Hope you don’t head for the door
But I guess you can’t take it anymore
So I lay
Motionless
On the floor
Watching you walk away
No life left
Without you
Soon enough you’ll see my blood
Flowing from my wrists
For this true bliss
Oh how it’s you I will miss.


Details | Free verse | |

Orchards of the Moonlight

Jasmine blossomed 
from the concrete of heaven 
while angels sing soft melodies 
that land on the intimacy of my soul 

My eyes left perplexed 
captivating the presence of this beauty 
from a gentle smile that falls from the petals 
of this delicate flower 

The warmth of my heart, declared 
from the rays of the sun 
and shine my aura with pleasant moonlighted conversations 
that Eden has excited me with 

I'm lost in the trance of this moment 
brought upon the rain from the clouds 
that fog all existence of impressions 
left behind in departed memories of love 

The roses in my garden have expired 
to leave way for this fresh plantation to grow 
indulging it's direction to a whole new production 
of spiritual maturity 

I may have fallen in love with a desperate recognition 
my past has barricaded in the sands 
from the sight of this acquired exhibit 
that delivers passion to my universe 

I'm left in purity for this appeasing flower 
to teach me examples I've lost in the historical moments 
of my sanity caused by the white wine 
that shut out the seeds of my obliterated memories 

Blooming the center of my tender retentivity 
with a sensual touch that calms 
the reflection of the beaming solar system 
the world has equipped to my spirits 

Declining all invitations to submissive pain 
I've known in the past 
and accepting this development as a greeting 
to a new born creation 

She is my flower and I am her essence 
and together, 
we conform in collaboration 
to create a presence of ravishing affection 

Exposed in this garden of perfection...


Details | Free verse | |

For a Moment

For a moment, I believed I even allowed myself to breathe. . . To smile upon you in all that was said and done For a moment, you were there And a simple thought made me beam I was there looking you in the eye it seemed For a moment, doubt swept under my feet Threatening to bring me to the ground But your words pulled me up by the string For a heavy moment, I realized Just how far you are from me Too far to be close—to far to allow that smile And for another sad, long moment, I sit here in awe-struck despair Wondering why the smile was ever there


Details | Free verse | |

Wrong Turn


I have ceased staring at the allure
of moon and stars,
long past laying my head at loves feet.
I can pen no words, or expressive 
musings; the rose within my soul,
withered...sullen thorns remain.
I am a strayed embodiment of Him 
and my mortal confines, chases His shine.
~
I
have searched every smile and veritable
tears in unknown faces; lingered to inhale
the fragrant breaths of both young and
old. I dared graze
the pulse of undaunted hearts
hoping to catch His presence...
quick to sidestep those 
garbed in wintry stone.
~
Today 
I heard him clearly in a
child's laughter; inviting 
and engaging …but the
message was not 
for me.
~
I
have looked within natures 
subtle passages; as I arise
before the sun each 
day. Still I am 
alone...ashamed
that even His shadow
eludes me.
~
Alas,
the vigor in my walk has
dissolved into a drunkards
dance...doddering and
pointless.
~
Yesterday, I closed
eyes and heart;
an apparition watching
my funeral's passing.
Suddenly, He was beside me
around me...everywhere;
alas, in life...I failed to turn
my head and see him.



Details | Free verse | |

Like a Crushed Piece of Paper

Maybe the songs have robbed me,
Losing on words, depth and passion,
I lurk around for death.
Like a crushed piece of paper
Once sheltering the secrets of a lost soul;
I glide to, where the vile wind takes me.

As i listen to the melodies
Of melancholy,
Under a moonlit night,
Looking at a bridge, that cant take me to heaven:
Behind the wavy trees,
Alone like this night,
Alone like me, leaning on my Wall,
With the vision stretched beyond the stars,
And hands hanging lose, like nowhere to hold on;
I want to ask that stranger over there,
"Do you know that I see you?.."


A gust of cool breeze broke the spell,
Lazily I look above,
I see the night sky like a chiffon veil.
As the shadow drifted from a rare inspiration
To darkness...
So did my words,


I am just a crushed piece of blank paper,
With no secrets of my lost soul
And no vile wind to take me away..





Details | Free verse | |

Pursuance

I wonder the words to pen here,
Once I said you those three words
And you assayed a story thereafter.
Few letters were found brushed off
Few were found bedded with dusts
Leaving rest of the pages tore apart
Where the letters within... were lost somewhere.
 
Thenceforth I sought to pen few new stories
I found those same letters were repeated 
From the unsanded story ...
That we once secured to write together.
Yet I tried to perceive few fresh letters
ANd there I was perplexed
When those letters synonymised
The letters...those were lost somewhere
When the pages of the unsanded story were tore apart.
 
Once I tried to pen the same old story
But thence you already composed one of yours''
And thereafter I left it incomplete
Yet penning it with few scattered letters
And mindless words.
You seemed to pen yours" with melodic words
And I lamented mine,
You were blessed to revive with a new life
And I was cursed
Still searching for those letters...lost somewhere.
 
Yet I pray to be blessed with those letters
So that I can pen it again...
I just need to find out those same old letters
But here I need you 
So that I can assay the same story hereafter.


Details | Free verse | |

Time and Time Again

The time passes slowly like sand falling through an hourglass
The clock counting down in my head
Tick
Tick
Tick
Tick
The countdown never ending
The relentless hands still pass
Passing the memories along with them
For some strange reason I cannot forget
All the times I was alone
All the pain that I felt

Why can’t I forget?
My memory reminds me of the pain
That comes back again with every ticking second
So I mark my skin with all my sins
Like all the passing hours

I shouldn’t feel like this
The jeers should be normal to me now
But I can’t find myself
Lost in the turning gears and shadows that grow with every move
Tick
Tick
Tick
I start to lose myself again
In the void that surround me
the forest is getting darker
and the tug of the rose is just too much.
The dreams grow stronger
and I find myself falling again.
Lost and alone again.
Part of the darkness again

And somehow I know I won’t be able to escape.


Details | Free verse | |

Patradoot or The Messenger 17/Many

Patradoot or The Messenger17 /Many 
  
English version by 
Ravindra K Kapoor 
Originally written in Hindi by my 
Late father Dr. Amar Nath Kapoor



Description of TRIVENI or ALLAHABAD  known as  SANGAM CITY.


All around on the Ganges bed, you would find the plantations,

Of  water melon, cucumber and sweet melon, being grown by farmers, 

And village girls would be singing amid them, dear letter,

While watering these plants by taking water from river Ganges.



Some where, you would see the devotees taking bath,

In the holy river Ganges in groups,  like musical notes,

At some place you too may get lost for a while,

To see them lost in meditation of their Gods, dear letter.



Ravindra

Kanpur India   10th June 2010                              to continue in 18
              

Protected as per Poetry Soup’s copy write protections 


Note:
If any reader who is not a member of Poetry soup
has any question or queries, they can 
send me an email on  kapoor_skk@yahoo.com

Patradoot in Hindi was originally written by my father late
Dr. Amar Nath Kapoor in 1932, when he was imprisoned
by the British, as he was fighting for India's freedom 
under the leadership of Mahatma Gandhi. After India’s
independence as a true follower of Gandhi Dr. Amar Nath 
Kapoor left active politics and devoted rest of his life in 
writing easy mass literature and wrote many Dramas, 
Poetry books, epics. All his other literary 
works were mainly written from 1955 to 1990. 
He left this mortal world in 1994. 



  


Details | Free verse | |

an excavation of muses (spontaneous poem)

....................In the dawns' refuse I have uncovered

Wonderful treasures & memories....

Jewels once lost to the distant past, That have arisen

From the recesses of life to rejuvenate the primal

Urge that has long slept inside this

Broken castle of words.



Here now, I send out vultures & crows

To re collect all parts of myself lost to the corners

of the known world,



I have sent out owls to take flight, transmigrant

& swift to reclaim the blazed trails of my youth

\in all the Unknown galaxies and inner spaces

of all that we as humans can ever be.



In the unkept ruins of the night

I have rediscovered all that I am

beneath the silk skin of beauty;

I have caught from the voice of

her secret lips serenading

my tongue.

----- 


Details | Free verse | |

In Remembrance

It was a majestic sight
To see in the distance
The New York City skyline
The twin towers standing bold
It was a sight to behold
Where else but in America
Can you see something 
That leaves you in wonder
This has always been with me
Till that day of terror
It hurt my heart to know
My children will never see it
On September 11, 2001
I lost a part of my past
My present and it hurts
Because it is no longer there
I grieve more deeply
For those who lost
So much more than me
The lost a loved one
I will never forget
The scene on Television
Of the smoky towers
That once stood majestically
Nor will I ever forget
The people who die
On that horrific day
God bless their souls
Our heroes and our loved ones
Will always be remembered
Their loss will always
Be in my heart and my prayers

Written in remembrance on the 2nd anniversary  of September 11th


Details | Free verse | |

Questions and Answers

Have I lost my flame like the lamp on the altar?
Or have I lost my last fire like a dying ember?
Do I stand unconsumed in the heat of this flair?
Or have I been destroyed; now nothing but ashes? 

This is a message to the brain that wants to kill me
from my soul that refuses to die. 
I may have been born wretched, confused, a coward; 
but today I refuse to tremble, cower, or cry.

On the next mountaintop, in this pitch dark,
I see a flickering candlelight.
Do I dare walk across the valley?
Do I dare to not try?


Details | Free verse | |

Noise

A young boy is playing in a sandbox not far from a busy intersection.
He is wearing a hearing aid.
He has almost finished digging a large hole.
The sounds of the cars grow louder as rush hour approaches.
He climbs into the hole and takes off his hearing aid.
He starts to pour sand in both of his ears and begins to cry.
The traffic continues...


Details | Free verse | |

Lost in the night

I see the light flash before my eyes i see your face,
its so alive, 
then i blink and then your gone.
i see you,i see you in the night,
i fall as i close my eyes.
im lost in  the night, 
im lost in your eyes, 
its scaring me, what you mean to me, 
and im lost in the night kicking, 
screaming. 
i cant get you outta my head. 
love keeps me locked in the the shadow of doubt.
love keeps me kicking, 
screaming,
lost in the night with you.


Details | Free verse | |

Oh Well, Oh Well

I’m tired in this drop
The walls are all the same
I’m soaked now

In the midst of deteriorating
It hurts more than normal
I think it’s broken

The light up top is gone now
Just like the one down here
Oh well…  oh well.

The love inside the teardrops
Has turned to the coldest rain
Now there’s just the pain

It’s settled in my chest
Eating at my insides
Feeding at the dead lives

The end will not come quickly 
Not even quietly
For now, I just sigh at thee


Details | Free verse | |

the tides are rising

My heart is heavy from the waiting.
Lonely from sitting in silence
with nothing but my own inadequacies
to balm the wounds time festers.

Patiently abiding the time of recognition
when fate bows down and bestows a grace
sacrificing these tribulations for the mercy of love,
I wait for the coming of salvation
the benediction of true loves embrace.

The tides are rising-
and the binding on my soul is strong
am I to die a martyr?
With imminent despair I implore
come home and untie me...


Details | Free verse | |

I've lost a poem

I’ve lost a word.
I’ve dropped it somewhere
and I can’t find it now.

Four syllables, I think,
the swathes of a poem.

I’ve lost inspiration.
And it wasn’t great, you know,
just a word, as big as it gets
to let the poem come of age
in the plantations of paper.

I’ve lost moments 
from my Secret Time’s pendulum

and the path
my mind follows 
when it strides 
off the beaten track.

I’ve lost few letters,
the aura that renders them a word
and the hues they take
when they’re stored in mind.

I’ve lost a voice
from my blood’s volumes
its activeness, its mood
its subject and its object. 

Maybe it’s being tricky,
just playing a prank
or it may only be preparing
an epigram

‘The great poet who thought
he’s found the word!’


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Souls

Where are you? 

My search takes me everywhere
I find nothing
Moving through the maze of life
Hope guides me 
But grows weak with time
Who are you?
Someone from the past
Or the future
The hardest question to answer
I wait for the answer
But where will it come from
Two souls moving through existence
Are you searching as well
You ask where am I?
I’m neither here nor there
Lost in thought 
But I wait eyes, heart and mind open
Will you arrive
Or will we forever be lost
Who am I?
I often ask myself the same question
The answer also complicated
Yet I’m simple
A person of few needs
You are one of those
Looking for direction from you
Where are you?



Another one of my first attempts at poetry. I sent this to myself on June 4 2012, so it was written around that time. It was another attempt to leave the sonnet and venture into free verse. I didn't want to be limited by fxed form, but have since learned how much I actually enjoy fixed forms of poetry. The villanelle, Qautern, Quatrain, now the Terzanelle, and of course my original, the Shakespearean Sonnet, without the iambic redundancies of course, or should I say the iambic pentameter. I had read  Lucilla Carrillo's poem Where are you, and reminded me of these words, although I think the two themes are different.


Details | Free verse | |

Love will never die

Mi love wile nev dead, 
fur di heart fa a man I 
envy, endured to cherry 
under pad-lock tu mi own 
heart. Da days 
ago buy are di tears 
I lef streaming pon mi face 
track, nuh no fi his luv
wile ever seh the same; 
Hoping I have Nuh lost di only 
thang I no, fur the action of  gesture, 
I truly love this man.

my love will never die 
for the heart of a man 
i envy,and cherish
locked away in my own heart.
for the love flow across 
stream left tears on my face, 
as the days go by
not knowing if his 
love says the same 
towards me for I hope 
all is not lost among gesture 
because I truly love this man.

entered in contest: BI-lingual
sponsered By:Debbi Guzzi


Details | Free verse | |

You Look

You look
At the girl you thought
Thought you once knew
YOu look
Deep in my heart
And see how much agony was built up
You look
At someone you can no longer love
At one that is now lost forever
You look
But yet
You do not understand
You look
But in the end
You watch me as I am in a corner
Crying
Like i have never cried before
Knowing you lost the one you have always wanted


Details | Free verse | |

Missing Her

Silence.
For over thirty years he longed for a night free from the snoring that her sinuses caused.
Foolishly, he thought he could sleep much better if the grating sound did not echo in his ears.
Now he lies restlessly, unable to sleep in the silence.

Darkness.
The pillow he often placed over his head to muffle the sounds coming from the other side of 
the bed,
Also helped shield his eyes from the glow emitted from the nightlight she could not sleep 
without.
Now he lies anxiously in the darkness with the unplugged light laying harmlessly on her bed 
stand.

Unencumbered.
His uncontrollable habit of wiggling his foot at night, which helped him fall asleep,
He consciously had been suppressing because the motion bothered her rest.
Now, free to wiggle in the empty bed, he lied motionless, too tired to move.

How he longed to hear the snoring he once thought he detested.
How he wished he could gaze upon the outline of her sleeping body in the shadows cast by 
the nightlight.
How he desired to feel her elbow poke him in the side to still his gyrating foot.

The silence; the darkness; the freedom to move;
What he once considered long lost friends were now his enemies.

The sleep lost due to the sounds, the light and the restrictions on movement were a small 
price to pay for having her by his side.

Now that he is free to sleep in peace – he cannot.  
He misses her too much and the pain in his heart will prevent a restful sleep for a long time 
to come.


Details | Free verse | |

Fragment

On through the ripples,
Through the shunts and the brushes,
The flickering chants,
The whispered gloom.
I walked, in a still coldness,
Watching in through the firm, glass panes
Of this pavement I made.
There stood three evil eyes
Perched high with a burning, solemn glare
Clad in black.

I stood with living numbness,
Drowned in the rain;
Exempt from their shelter
But Separate from their cave.

My walk was long,
Soon I saw the clouds part;
I gazed, perhaps glided into the blue depth.
The soulful reflection painted within the bay-shaped sapphire,
 Too long had I ignored myself… 
Depicting a girl, content in her smile
But mirrored by her counterpart.
I suddenly became aware
How rain and sun fall from the same sky.

The hush of the oak branches,
Passing through the park;
Reminded of the ease of empty summers;
Where my eyes couldn't reach the gate.

I turned a corner to the child’s trumpet,
Hollow with smiles
The off and empty notes
Passed right through me.
Was she, blissfully lost to her tune,
Or lost in the dissection of each note?
Lost in the mimicking of each line?
Lost, so that in the process, the bigger meaning faded.

This world holds its breath
In a struggle.
I step alone,
Across stone and soft earth,
Between kindled mirth:
In this summer losing its youth.
This day, this deep
Meander of thought,
Where I looked at the world to find myself.

Then I was laughing at my difference.

 Here is the number to my door,
To The World beyond. 

For Fragment competition
2nd September 2013


Details | Free verse | |

Social conditioning

The story 
Of Daphne, Nymph
In Greek Mythology
Remains incomprehensible
To her modern counterparts,
Unwritten social
Norms and values
Motivating most girls to escape
The shame from left on the shelf.

Living from the soul
Calls for independence,
Escaping Apollo's charm
Daphne choose life
As a tree.
Following old habits
Modern society
Based on institutionalized
Special relationships.

The cross of perception
Projecting
The appearances:
Drug abuse, divorce, murder
And single motherhood
On the family,
Doctored by
The new religion: Psychology.

The redeeming 
Force
Of cross
Lights up the darkness:
Daphne ready to burn
The veil of appearances,
By resounding 
The primordial Word
Through the common words:

Our only life raft
Is Language!
Truth will glow
When crossing 
The lips,
To seal
The hidden crevices 
Of collective 
Consciousness.


Details | Free verse | |

I heard...

I heard you had a broken heart,
-so I bought some tape.
And if that doesn't do the job,
I brought some glue, in case.

I heard you'd lost something quite dear,
when you had thought you'd found it.
-That a darkness had appeared,
and all your fears compounded.

I heard you gave it your best shot,
but then, the target moved.
Your plans were axed and hacked away,
then guzzled and consumed.

I heard your faith and hope had waned,
and life had lost its taint.
It seemed the trees hung low and swayed,
and colors bled to Grey.

I heard you want to run and hide,
for shelter from the storm.
But if you'd only come inside,
I'd keep you safe and warm.

I heard that Love produces fools,
and stalks in awkward silence.
But there is always one for you,
I promise you will find them!


Details | Free verse | |

Love Insanity

it is...

love too deep
so much of it we did keep
three years
of laugh and tears
shared intimate dreams 
owning each other in realms.

he turned his back last night
broke his cam 
and said goodbye. 

told him I love him many times 
losing him, I can't bear
he is being used, 
my weakness, 
my strength. 

we did our best 
I cried much, my heart in pain. 
but he decided to stop 
hope is gone 
he said, find another man.

must I if i love him much? 

LOVE INSANITY. 
WE FAILED, THEY WIN.

(inspired by the 'Black Butterflies)

Inner Whispers


Details | Free verse | |

Mask of Despair

The rich own the world
The ones with power never 
twirled
The poor are left to fight for 
nothing
Never have stability, always 
adjusting 
The injustice is almost 
unbearable
The mask of despair is easily 
wearable 
Some laws work most do not
Family's broken,left distraught
Will enough voices ever be 
heard?
Or will the air remain unstirred? 
It only takes one to light a 
spark
To leave a forever lasting mark
How did we get here?
Always living in such fear
Justice will take its rightful 
place
But it won't be with ribbons and 
lace
Can you put it all on the line?
Or leave all hope behind?
Is fine good enough for those 
that follow
Don't just sit,hope,and wallow 
The mask of despair will not so 
easily die
You cannot simply hide it with a 
lie
while the rich sit on their 
thrown
The poor are burying their own
Drop the mask of despair
Throw it down,leave it their
Stand in the dust 
Life suddenly lost its list
The people will have their way
Loved ones have does and gone 
away 
The ones with courage will 
move on
Until the injustice is finally gone
Those who have lost will now 
have won
The mask of despair is finally 
done


Details | Free verse | |

You were never mine

You were never mine

No sweeter place then in your mind.
Skipping rocks across a deserted river. No notion of time.
 
Never knowing what it is you are giving up.
Love can seldomly be enough.
 
Strong rooted weed,
That stubburnly decides to never leave.
 
Whispers blowing wildly in the wind.
Briskly thinking, how did I unhinge?
 
Much in store,
Yet no surprise, you wanted more. 
 
Perfect standing silhouettes in a row.
How could I have known?
 
Healing these open wounds,
Will never come to soon.
 
Discovering an open highway,
Never looking back you'd say, this is definately my way!
 
All my sins viewed, 
This penance, I choose.
 
Lost & revenge you face,
Leaving a cold seal, that can never be traced.
 
I'm always there. Good to see you again.
I'll be leaving you behind, my dear old friend.


Details | Free verse | |

Mind

Where are you now?
Are you in and among the crowd?
In a world in which I cannot follow?
Extradite to imaginary borders,
Where my thoughts finally unfurl.


Details | Free verse | |

Trust

What child within us has not searched 
The heavenly expanse
And felt utterly alone
In the face of its vastness?
Each heart beats alone
To the rhythm of its streams,
Yet each is connected in 
The consciousness of its dreams.
Seraphs stretch their wings to aching,
But knowing all the while,
It's not the wings or wind that lifts life higher
but love given freely in a celestral smile.
So smile they all upon lost children
Blindly serching, hands clutching in our dreams,
To briefly touch the wispy softness 
Of shining saffron, angelic wings,
We need not wings to navigate the motif,
For we soar upon the rays of love
And by universal love manifest all things,
As below, so it is above.
Oh, tender child, don't fear the night,
Or too reverently hold to the pattern,
All things change with focused thought,
No need for a heavenly lattern.
Your light shines brighter than you know.
Reflect upon the gentle faces,
Not Seraphs or the heavenly host,
But wounded children lost in frightening places.
These little ones whose darkened eyes
Are now awakened by your touch,
Can see your path more clear than you...
Relax and learn to trust.


Details | Free verse | |

The Art Has Left the Building

Binge
fringe
benefits

At the edge of the world you’ll lose hope
At the edge of a needle you’ll regain consciousness
Supposedly
it’s a gash
a wider know it all grasping at straws that stick to his skin like follicles of dead hair

The art is lost 
the lost becomes transient before it even knew it was gone

There he is again
pumping veins and proud
said aloud

We are the most beautifully mistaken creatures allowed to hold pens

Not everyone believes 
that anyone achieves
happiness through sadness
vice versa and this and that

Sadness through experience
and life through damages

No one gets happy any other way
until they jump another day


Details | Free verse | |

LOST......

i lost you once.
i lost you twice.
now i lost you forever.

you were always 
there for me.
even when i was
mad. i wish i
could have done
the same for you.

when i lost you
i messed up my
life. but you
moved on and
thats ok. i did the same thing.


Details | Free verse | |

Reflections of love

Everyone is with someone who they think they love,
but deep inside you know it wasn't love,
because why did it end?

I knew I loved you the moment I almost lost you,
felt like my heart was stretched out and immaturity was using it as a trampoline,
eventually I'm going to fall off and get hurt,
forgetting the real reason why I have you,
like my heart had amnesia,
which made your love for me die away like age,
I almost lost you but I didnt want it to end.

I knew I loved you when I eventually grew up and felt a new emotion,
that felt like butterflies exploding in my stomach,
just feels like suicide by going after it,
but I had a craving for danger,

I knew I loved you when I saw the dark side of you,
where I witnessed pure evil inside your eye's,
where anger was the smile on your face,
and death was your best friend.
I stayed and held you till the angel I knew came back.

I knew I loved you when I realised you were my best friend, my worst enemy and the love of my life,
I knew I loved you when I stayed and fought for your love and felt Immense pain for it,
but at the end holding your hand was worth everything.

Reflections of love contest


Details | Free verse | |

the steam that heats my dreams

A warm summers night The moon and stars are endless yet in sight the solitude I have. The comfort of another I desire. A bottle of fine wine. A smoke if I choose no problems ahead so was thought. Closed off in the comforts of wine time and peacful sights laid back to rest. A steam rose off the waters of a nearby lake as I gazed in the mist I fell into darkness of my mind. A consious spirit of thoughts follows me in the sleep so comforting a rest was there but a steam to see as my dream broke loose in the steam another came forth a shock to my senses a comfort of a voice so calm a steady warm shiver runs away from my heart that spark of sound from my dream stirred my heart yet end there it did not just the same I stood up still and silent yet wanting to speak but thought not too yet the bodies of most seems so moist yet not as wet with water just the steam like as hot and cold collide as they near a moist steam sorrounds us as we draw near to a close touch it's build so strong yet a delicate covers of steam to it we belong a touch a peaceful rush but to our surprise neither did blush in each others eyes comfort we felt a steam all about also so felt warming and cool at one instance with no one visible to see us closed off by steam in closeness sorrounds. The souls of one own is all that abounds lost in silence no more our words to each other whispers and such travel along like the rising stream on the waters so still of our heart and minds passion entwined yet billions among us in this world we know but for a time it's us that here that's all we know we move ahead no show to see just two alone amongest the trees. The leaves a cover the leaves a bed. A comfort I have until I raise my head. I only remember this dream so real because a dream never felt so real so right so I sit alone a wait each night for two to be again love lost by a dream one night. It must happen twice to be so would say it again to happen my dream to be real someday will be thankful will be us two together at last of steam of past a future to last lost in steam forever will be a connection like this how else can be.


Details | Free verse | |

What Do I Choose

There are a thousand reasons for me to cut,
There are a thousand reasons for me to go...
So what do i choose?
Do i want the pain to end?
Or do i want to make sure im still alive?
I lost everyone,
I lost my friends,
I lost my best friends,
What am i supposed to do?
I lost everyone,
Who do i turn to?
Who do i talk to?
What do i do?
I think i should leave..
And i think i will leave..
this harsh,
cruel,
world..


Details | Free verse | |

Someone Like You

I heard about an angel,
And I feel the care for you.
I saw your face,
And more I hold on dreams.
I learned to feel you,
And I’m moved inside the flame.
I proposed my love, 
And you answered without questions.

Now you’re with me 
 Breeze of winter of my sea.
I kissed your lips,
And felt the heaven in it.
I felt your heart,
And I want to live in snow.
Now that we’re together,
I wish it never ends.

But the climax stops,
We lost the biggest wish.
The sky turns against me,
I lost the brightest star.
One wish I’m afraid to lost,
But now must face the truth.

I hold on dreams
But it’s all outdated and wrong
You learned to live without me,
I feel the other ways of love.
Sorry, but you’re my breath
You’re just the best I learned.

More years went through and faded,
And the pain gets lost.
But within the passing years,
I know I know I had lost the girl.
Only the best for you,
Luckiest holder of my heart.


Details | Free verse | |

Kali

Kali, Kali, Kali
She is the sated navy night
Swathed with soldering white stars 
Warm summer air, coastal dream

An unwavering fortune of 
deep, red Eden grapes
Hanging like drops of sweet wine

Shifting with dark leaves 
the balmy breeze
with trees that sound like tumbling seas,
 singing,
“Kali, Kali, Kali”

She is a lullaby, a reverie
At home and away
She carries all of it with her
A man’s entire heart,
 Italian spells
Her golden hips curving like a bell
slender spindle legs
 sun kissed shoulders
wrapped soft, she is a doll 
with air-brushed skin 
Kali, Kali, Kali…
You will always win
While I will never be enough

Kali, your legacy
 presses knives in me 
 Making my hour glass body
 an inadequate pendant
with an unfortunate name
a ripped blue dress
second rate lips
falling to the floor, sore…
 
My nights pulse only with heavy music
Rummaging suits, dark rooms
sticky floors, cigarettes, señores 
 and a dizzied mind
 hoping this night will pass

and I’m terrified, Love

Because even when you’re with me
I can’t be home
And I can’t be my own
My blood’s too dense
And my heart’s too free
This, Kali makes me see

I am not a dream
But broken seams
My intentions covered over 
By the song of tumbling seas

I’ll only ever be
Unworthy me…
 Alli…


Details | Free verse | |

Beautiful Winds

Beautiful Winds On an early February morning, I found what could never be seen Collects in my heart, leaves my eyes Beautiful winds, beautiful winds, lookin' out a window Watched her leave, she was mine, now lost in wine Cut the words from my eyelids, I could forget it all To remember it all again, and you know I remember it all again Beautiful winds, beautiful winds, lookin' out a window Watched her leave, she was mine, now lost in wine


Details | Free verse | |

A Secret Not Shared

Living in an endless nightmare
Where the flowers never bloom
Where the sun doesn't shine
And the river's never flow

As life changes from day to day
And their eyes and grins are all we find
Not caring about our destiny or our fate
Why do we feel the way we do

To learn, to explore, to understand the world 
Is it right to feel so blue
To feel like you have no purpose in life 
To feel like you've been violated inside-out

Dreaming of far off places to where the birds fly free
And all our greatest dreams become more than real
As the blue bird shed's it's happiness
To all of us who are so blind

Yet what is happiness to those who mourn
Or those who weep over what's been done
Each so different, yet each the same
Created equal for a purpose, to love one another

The fight between life and death is hard to see
But the answer is not ours to hold
We must each find our path's in life
Where we each make mistakes that change our ways

As the rain pours down to bring new life
A single breath is but a whisper
And a shallow heartbeat that is so clear
Our minds dance, dance in the dead of night

While the monster so true gets three to five
The innocence of a young girl is so blind
Where from day in and day out she is left with life
No remorse for this lonesome dove while she flies overhead

Like the Angel she is she wishes it to end
For them to help, yet leave her alone 
For them to see how hurt she feels
Like being left alone by the stump of a tree

As an Angel may spread it's wings
To reveal its masked identity
We are lost in our words from our hearts
Like the sun that shines so bright

Like the secrets of an innocent soul
All is lost in the abyss of nothingness
Where fire reins free as if like a bird
But with no feeling like the devil himself

As a lost soul may find a way to far beyond 
It carries with it a message of hope, peace and love
For until next time we shall have to wait
For the secret to life, death and beyond even that.


Details | Free verse | |

Unknown

Am I a dove, a snake or a bear?
Like a bandage my words mend and heal
but my bitter tongue bites back
a venomous rage of uncertainty and deceit
and I feel as if I am fighting foe after foe
my thick pelt puncturing blow after blow
yet no enemies there are, within comprehension
or is thick fur masking my vision?
Be I a lion or a fox? Confronting fears headstrong or running and fleeing on.
Could I be the monster from whom must I hide?
My cogent thoughts a weapon concealed in my shadowy mind?
I fear I am becoming lost in the great unholy scheme,
a fool searching for the unsearchable with no success but failure
Unclarity is the only clarity in which I have come to know, or do I know nothing?
Perhaps I am a bat, 
built on thin wings with blind purposeless eyes
my own mind the cavern which enervates my very soul 
into this decrepit state.
However I am no more lost than all the others, yet still I drown
and gulp for air unfound,
the only strength within reach mine own. 
Or does it originate somewhere else? 
Perhaps those whom I hate I love
and simply poison their image within my understanding.
Perceiving the world through my eyes, all is gray,
like a wolf I hunt, my prey is meaning. 
But the harder I dig into these questions
the more deeply I fall, lost in deceptions.
Now I see something new and explained
I find myself through this mystery and vanity
I am oblivion.


Details | Free verse | |

Singularity

ZAP POW Intrinsic Inside news beyond Hopes dashed No pieces left For times elbow Holds no crutch Singularity ZIP BAM Congruent Feelings enmeshed Scrounged within The numbness subsides Leaving delight Past the darkest night Pulsar WACK TING Livid Singed to the bone Being lost Without deaths glow But hope rings in Triumphant score Dynamic WHAM BANG Persevere Life beyond emptiness Lures in mindful eyes Sipping from the eternal cup Homing into happiness Leaving pain behind Enlightened YING TAP TAP TAP… Russell Sivey


Details | Free verse | |

Darkness: Part Two

You cannot fight it You cannot fight it NO! go away go away Leave me just leave me alone! Never…never you are ours you belong to us…to ME you are mine always mine NO…no I can’t…I can’t just kill me just kill me end me end me no Then leave me alone! no WHAT DO YOU WANT! YOUR FEAR! more laughter more laughter I scream they laugh laughing…laughing…laughing I fall to my knees defeated I let him take me his dark matter frame enveloping me consuming me becoming me glowing red eyes sharp white teeth he is me I am him… NO! NO! LEAVE ME! GET AWAY! GET OUT! YOU CAN’T HAVE ME! FIRE UPON YOU! I WILL HAVE YOU YOU ARE MINE! I WILL DESTROY YOU! I WILL OWN YOU I WILL CONTROL YOUR MIND NO! NO! I WON’T LET YOU! YOU CAN’T YOU CAN’T I CAN I WILL NO! I run I run I continue running and running but he still finds me always finds me YOU CANNOT RUN YOU CANNOT HIDE NO! GO AWAY! YOU CANNOT GET AWAY FROM ME I AM YOUR MIND I WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR MIND NO! I scream and I run the darkness all around me never leaving never leaving it’s like I’m not moving but I know I am aren’t I? Am I moving? I’m lost in the unknown the shallow mazes the darkened graves in my mind this was all accessed from my mind All the voices all the faces all the noise all the laughter my own mind Night Night Sleep tight the eyes close and the darkness arrives bringing me to this land of misery where he taunts and tortures me with the fears of my own self with himself with myself fear of my own mind fear of the lost control Laughter more laughter Is he real is he fake who is he what is he why won’t he leave why won’t he go haunt someone else You are my choice Only you only you only you you You You YOU Why Why me why me Go away Only you Only you Go away Go away Only You Go away leave me alone No only you GO AWAY! GO AWAY! I plug my ears I close my eyes YOU ARE NOT REAL YOU ARE NOT REAL YOU DON’T EXSIT THIS IS JUST A DREAM JUST A DREAM NOT REAL NOT REAL I AM REAL I AM REAL I’LL NEVER LEAVE NEVER LEAVE NEVER NEVER NEVER STOP IT! STOP IT! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! NEVER


Details | Free verse | |

A needle in a hayastack

A needle in a haystack I am
Lost, beyond the boundary of my being.
It is a tiny universe you say
Finite from infinite end to infinite end
And still no bigger than the one
Whose voice wrote the words of its origin
And did he not came to seek and find me
But yet I am lost again
Among the infinite smallness of things
On my brain flipping their little wings
I can understand the needle
Lost in so much straw, the infinitely small
Lost in the relatively infinite pile
Waiting to reek some future in havoc
In throat, or skin, or trembling bowels
In all the places I feel the phantom fear
But cannot find myself as easy as a tear
Is found to irrigate each thought I spawn
With black wings cluttering the raw dawn
Dripping, leaking all its contents to find me
Wanting a Calvary again. 
Night's dark bottom drained
Has no clue how deep I am in since Adam
Opened the spillway to the bottom. 
Hell is a far place down in me, I cannot climb
Out by myself, except heaven, the farthest place
Away, hear loudest my whispered cry for help.
Go winnow you haystack to find your lost pearl
Here, the pearl winnows me, and still I find
No trace of me in me, I am too scrubbed 
By all the bleached out years of black history.


Details | Free verse | |

Shade of pink

The flowers are some shade of pink, 
I couldn't really grasp the exact color because I was in a rush to get them to you,
I didn't want that color,
I wanted the color blue,
Because I really don’t love you,
Like that, 
I see you as a person I can talk to you,
Not a person that I can lay next to,
I want to break up with you,
I don’t have the courage to so,That’s why now,
I’m sitting next to you and your pink flowers,
Wishing that I have powers, 
To change myself to someone that is not a coward.


Details | Free verse | |

A CHANCE WITH MY SNOWMAN


If you chance to see
a wandering snowman
on your way home tonight
Let me know.
The poinsettias have started to wilt, turning dull
The Christmas lights have flickered low into the night
The food has lost its savor
Gifts have been opened
Blurry are my windows now
As snow continues to hide
My precious snowman from plain site.

If you chance to meet
My wandering snowman
On your way home tonight
Stop for a moment and play with him.
Share a candy. Make him smile
Make him a paper airplane. Make him beam and laugh.
Hug and kiss him for me. Warm his heart.
It's all a lost mother would ask
For Christmas.

If you chance to experience
My wandering snowman
On your way home tonight
Please send him home
to a warm Christmas with me.
It's all that I ask.



Details | Free verse | |

Advocating

                          
Is it truly better to have loved and lost or is that conception;
Nothing more than an acceptance of convenient choice?
Objectively thinking maybe it is nothing more than;
A refraction of a light beam coming off some shattered piece;
Of what is felt to be ones broken heart. 
Who’s to say what this life is really all about but; 
It is remembered that a young pretty once defined reality as;
“What ever was convenient for the moment”
So for today some may chose it more acceptable to have lost then never played.
And do so until it no longer bares convenience but;
In defense of the many cause's of uncertainties consider;
What are now accepted realities were once practiced judgements of destruction;
Often resulting in condemnation.
Take Plato or Galileo for example.


Details | Free verse | |

Indonesia is in grief

Indonesia is in grief
many lives taken in a matter of seconds
the earth is shaking, the floods are everywhere
the mountain starts erupting, is this the end of the time?

tears are falling, many lives missing
this heart is broken, only prayers freely spoken
though you have everything, life seems so interesting
but when the earth shows its anger, we turned vulnerable

i watch the television, parents lost their children
no more smile in their faces see their houses thorned to pieces
we can't just neglect the truth, their sadness is our sorrow
can we still pray for a hope of a better tomorrow

maybe it's our call to over think of it all
maybe we've lost our way, always tried to fulfill our greed
now God has decide, nothing else we could do
but to accept, to understand, to learn, to help and to change

i can only pray for this country
i can only pray for a better future
i know its power can save this planet
i know this is where the children will grow
so they can be more wiser than us
more caring for others, loving their planet





 
 





Details | Free verse | |

A Seer's Omen

Like the lost sounds of evening bells 
The voices of children pealing 
The last lie of innocence in papyrus away; 
Not the baubled brook in joy; 
The rinsing screams soliciting crude customs back, 
Spreading phonetic fingers of laughter for aid; 
Our tone dead heart hears nothing 
But self-cloying honey, leached and leaking 
From comb-cells flaccid to the bone. 
These times have lost more than silver steeples or steel 
Bright hope aspiring to the sun; 
We poor Daedalus by sight driven lust 
Watch in writhing disgust autumn unwinging us 
Shearing golden trees of leaves against the brawny breeze; 
What architect built the broken oak? 
Our Icarus from heaven is shaken. Trust 
Falling - all proven traditions past! 
The lives of children in an hour glass 
Tell, myths were better than this Midas dream


Details | Free verse | |

He walks alone - 5 minute contest

He plays guitar and flute
Walking the streets alone
Asking, looking always on alert
Looking for his son

Every street in every town
Every boy that  passes by
He looks to see if its Owen
Taken by his wife he knows not why

Contest. 5 minute challenge

Penned . 13 May 2013






Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Hands stir sand,
pluck dead skin.
 Eyes endeavor to reach
the end of the horizon,
fight the blur of woe. 
Throats cough against 
stale lips that can no longer
harbor tasting tongues.
Dizzy bones linger inside
unkempt sacks of wonder,
hoping to find rain in a 
place where there is none.
The sun beckons the lost forward.
The first blush,
and the last scowl of day
taunts their souls…
Feet leave their mark 
in a place soon to be 
entombed. 
-James Kelley 2013, All rights reserved.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Where They do not Belong <> End Line Poem

Parents and spouses to their photo's they look,  Another
           hero was killed fighting for our freedom.   Lost  
                       so far from his home and family,   Today
       we continue to send our sons and daughters,   But
                                there will come a day when,   They
                                      will live as free as we do.   Will
                         we ever learn from these theatres,    Never
                       again should we out live our children.    Be
  cause' another was lost today, but they will never be,    Forgotten



" I hope i have done this form devised by Dane Ann and HG proud "




http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-6.php


Details | Free verse | |

The Wayward Cafe

I sat in a small wayward cafe,
the smell of coffee beans being crushing into submission
tickled at my nosterls.
The sounds of tin cans and cups
some of them being stacked and others
drop with a violent crash.
The tables all red and round
There sat the women, with their novels, tea cups and coffee mugs
sharing small talk of innocent love.
Some women quiet and others talking.
All of them drinking something.

The cool air blew through the windows,
what a mess that wind made.
Blowing papers all around
and blowing the women's hair back.
A man sat there, writing away,
with an endless cough, a tickle at his Adam's Apple.
Then again everyone had a cough.

I sat there reading poetry, writing poetry, embracing poetry
with a pen in one hand and my head in the other,
gently resting of the red round table.
I wrote of the cafe, the women, the man with the endless cough,
that shattered your ear drums everytime he put his hand to his mouth
and coughed away.

A woman who sat reading way,
drinking lemonade and sometimes
taking long glances up.
She was waiting for someone, I could tell.
I looked at her and she at me,
and we both smiled.
Then a sudden silence,
she looked away from me.
A man, who had an ego,
(Then again, doesn't every man have one)
brushed my shoulder and pushed me away.
He apologized, not sincerly.
They kissed and hugged,
I went back to writing with a frown.
They went away in love, I guess?
And I sat all alone in that
lonesome wayward cafe.
Nothing to keep me company, but smell of coffee and tea
and the laughs of the women sharing small talk,
and that one man with Earth shattering cough.


Details | Free verse | |

The Old Man From Far Away

this old man is always there
after your soul
no one cares
he's a greedy old man

he wants what you got
all to himself
he'll put you away
like a toy on a shelf

don't give in to his dark evil stare
you may not like it
but he is always there

there shining eyes
filled with greed
run while you can
he hardly let you breathe

run little boys
run little girls
don't fall
or nothing will be yours

he hunts all night
even through the day
 here he comes
the old man from far away


Details | Free verse | |

Baby Girl Of Mine

I wrote this to help someone special to me:

I lost my daughter today.
Sadness threatens to overwhelm me.
Grief consumes my every thought.
 
Pain fills my entire body.
The words send a shock to my heart.
My legs fail me as I fall to the floor
Knowing it was to come,
Realizing it is in God’s will,
Nothing makes it easier to deal with.
 
My heart crumbles under the weight
I know all the pieces will never be found.
A wound created that will never heal.
A constant reminder of what is gone.
 
Desire to become a forever family.
Hope of taking away too much pain.
Dreams of her eyes filling with child like joy.
Plans of everyday growing up and learning
All cause to mourn, all things I won't get to again see.
 
I long for the comfort others might have,
Joy her in the arms of someone who truely loves her,
Peace in knowing she is being properly cared for.
The knowledge that we will be together again.
 
I lost my daughter today.
There are no kisses to brighten my soul.
No grave to visit and seek refuge at.
The rest of the world will never notice,
For the daughter I lost was never really mine.
 
She is alive somewhere else 
Not by my choice but by theirs
For it is not I that gets to kiss her good night
I lost my daughter today at yet it is like the world does not care
Really she was more mine than theirs... 
 
I lost my daughter today...
I lost my daughter today...
Don't worry baby girl we will be together ....
someday..!


Details | Free verse | |

Last Chance

3 strikes…you’re out!
I’ve given you way too many chances…
Do you expect more?
You left me empty-handed… your insufficiency advances…
3 strikes…you’ve ran out of chances
But I’m kind enough to buy you some more
Or maybe I have some in store

You’ve pushed it to the limits
I’M TELLIN’ YOU TO QUIT IT
When you throw your tantrums… your foolish fits 
I’m tellin’ you to lay off of me…
You treated me like dirt and grime
You have only one last chance…
Will you stop acting irrationally? 
Don’t screw it up this time…

3 strikes…GET out of my sight
Get out of my life – there’s the front door 
You’re killin’ me with your insanity 
3 strikes… don’t pout! 
Could you JUST leave me alone tonight?
I’ve given you a bunch of options,
But you were heedless of my vanity…
You’ve tortured me with your profanity 
You’ve punctured me with your
 lies and your brutality 
You’ve defeated me with your 
nightmarish reality 
Why do you hunger for my agony? 

3 strikes…there’s no way out
Of your devious trap…
You’re blaming me for your downfalls 
3 strikes…good riddance…get out!
You’ve never answered my calls,
So just desert me…
Let me escort you to the front door
Leave me alone…I don’t love you anymore

You’ve really tried my patience
I’m tellin’ you to leave me be…
You still don’t listen to me – I want you to flee
I want you to be set free
Get out of heart…
Get out of my house…
Get out of my head…
Get out of my life! 
You’re the magnet of strife
You’ve invited corruption in my life 
It strangles me like a thick rope around my neck
It stabbed me like a butchering knife… 
You’re so heartless and pathetic…you’re a wreck
I’m tellin’ you to bother someone else, you lunatic

You have lost your only chance, 
You repulsive prick 

3 strikes…you’ve got no luck 
I’ve given you escape routes and you weren’t grateful – 
You don’t even say, “Thank you” for all of the things I do for you
3 strikes…
YOU SNOOZE. . . YOU LOSE. . .
Are you still a ruthless soul? 
You’re hanging by a thread – and you haven’t got a clue

Go ahead!
Leave my presence, 
YOU nuisance! 

You're trying my patience...
I would leave if I were you...
I loathe your ignorance...

But, you just stand there like a fool!
You're taking advantage of me...
Throwing me out in the dumpster like a futile tool
--(Screw)-- you... Please leave me... 
You have added to my anxiety

You have done enough 
damage as it is...


Details | Free verse | |

Misplaced Memories

These memories have been worn down like stones in a river
Newly formed, rough with description
Smoothed-stripped of it's grain
it falls and shatters
Fragmented; never to be whole again 
Swept up, dusted, and soon to be forgotten
Chance- they echoe back and remind you
of the good and of the bad
And you fondly accept them like a lost friend
Reunited.
They are lost once more, to be found again
 
By Nicholas A. Bello


Details | Free verse | |

Restored

I was so angry inside, and God said, "give your worries unto me."

A revalation, deviation, a strong hold on my will.
A clouded judgment, a bright idea, something had a hold of me.
I sifted through countless writing's, searched through every loophole.
Till I came upon one.

My testimony of faith, my willingness to forgive.
Bless my children of the father who art in heaven.
Bless all that has done me wrong, and the wrongs I have done to those and myself.
Take this ball of haze and strip me of this fear and guilt.

I came 
 I saw
  I was
                     And still am

Your child.

A child of emotion, utter devotion
I slipped off the grid
Then I fell right back into your arms
The warning's came
and I heeded them not
You turned your back 
and I understood.

When I was lost you brought me back
You scolded me for doing wrong
and you came back when I needed you most.

Thank you Father
For I once was blind,
but you have made me see.
That no grand illusion is greater then you
and no need can be filled here that you cannot handle yourself.
I lost my faith and you restored me unto my soul.

For this
  I am 
   forever
    greatful.

Thank you.


Details | Free verse | |

Eric -RIP-

Why did you leave?
Oh companion of mine
Why did you leave?
Twas it really your time? 
Did you see no point in staying 
another measly day? 
By my side if you were oh the 
things I would say! 
Judge you, I would not
Tis not in my nature
The emptiness I feel from your 
passing measures to that of a 
crater
A bullet took your life
One blast and it's through
What pains me to know is the 
gun was held by you
All you left behind was a note 
for family and friends
Inscribed were many ' I love 
you's ' 
And your deep heartfelt 
amends
No need to say sorry
For you lived a full life
I shall always remember this 
through the pain, struggles, 
and strife
'You don't know what you got 
until what you got is no more'
Oh how this saying is true!
As the tears stream my face 
and I reminisce of you
With anger in our eyes and 
pain in our hearts
We lay you to rest
Hoping that solace will 
overflow in our lives
We miss you Eric 
This is in plain black and white
Had we the power we'd wish 
you back to life
I take comfort in knowing one 
day we'll meet again
Beyond the pearly gates 
reunited  as friends
This is NOT goodbye
Only a brief farewell
When shall we meet again?
Only time will tell


Details | Free verse | |

Loneliness

… And I lifted that veil
That covered Her pale face
and stared into the crushing darkness
of Her eyes.

I was lost in a trance of delightful agony.
She licked Her blood red lips, for She knew She had me right where she wanted me. I knew my life was dwindling at the very moment, but I just couldn’t tear myself from those eyes:
Onyx stone, Black hole, Lord of the Void.
I knew the knife was behind Her back. I could feel its cold, slender metal aching, aching to taste of my red plasma. Yes, I knew all along it was there and waiting…
But I was lost in Her eyes.
She drew Her arm back as far as She could and swiftly plunged the knife into the depths of my Soul. A tinge of red was in those eyes now.
And I knew the deed was done.
I felt Life ease out of me, but I just couldn’t look away…. Flowing, Rushing, Stealing Away. My Life was fading fast.
So I looked down.
I broke the Death Glare and looked down at the pool of blood at my waist. I raised my arm… I raised my arm and saw the small cut on my wrist.


Details | Free verse | |

The one for me

It was you who told me 
Everything that I needed to hear
For you loved all that I loved 
It seemed
It was you who enslaved my eyes 
With your amazing heirs of grace and charisma
Making sure that they never strayed 
Nor told more lies
It was you who convinced me to take a walk that day
And begin the greatest experience of my life
For we walked, talked and kissed the entire day away
And I wished that you were the one for me.

It was you who placed your heart within my palms
So that I could hold it
So that I could feel it beat
A heart so great that I could barely contain it
Within my arms.
It was you who took hold of mine
And suddenly
You became its beat.
A beautiful beat drumming to the rythym of what is now
Our song.
And as I am engaged 
With the synchronicity of our body movements
I thought that you were the one for me.

It is me who is angry now
For I am not in control of myself 
When you are near
It is me now
Whom you have captured in an emotional net
A net that knows no gloom nor any form of sorrow
That made me believe that you were the one for me

It is my nights of sleeping in peace 
That I have given up for you
For your sweet invasion of my mind 
Never seems to cease.
It is with me  
That the problem now lies
For I get lost in you when we are together
Lost in your smile, Lost in your arms
Lost in that mysterious universe within your eyes.
It is me now 
That is beginning to enjoy being lost in you
For the feeling is unique and unadulterated
Untouched by dirty hands
And now I know 
That you are the one for me


Details | Free verse | |

The Light in Goodbye

Since you have a pair of wings,
What about you reach to the clouds
Since you are more royal and fearless than kings,
Do me a favor and snip off my shrouds 

Do you have wings that are made of the finest of gold?
Is it better than any priceless jewel out there?
I hear your echoes, loud and clear, but have your beauty been sold?
Is it better if I don't know the answer? You're avoiding the problem like a worrisome hare
Are things working out for you? Give me a response if you dare

I've been spinning around and round and round like a halo
Oh, I heard a familiar song in the distance
In the distance, I see you run out of breath
Out of breath, out of energy and lacking sense
Yet, I’m not alone, neither are you, no longer fearing death

Something leaves me hangin’ on the last string
But, somehow I’m left to drive this road 
Alone without your support
Alone without you by my side
Alone without you being my escort 
Alone without you…
Here without you shatters my pride
Here without you scatters me wide
Here without you tatters my body and something in me has died
My heart ceased from beating
Why are you walking away?
Why are you leaving today?
Where’s the light in goodbye? 

Shying away from reality
Flying away from poverty 
Denying reality’s demise 
I’m hopelessly singin’ and about to take wing
I’m relieved that you and I have seen the light
The light in goodbye, the light in farewell
The night is approaching, but I’ll hold you tight
Tonight, I’m grateful to know that you are doing so well

Mmm…ooh…mmm… x2

Out of nowhere, your miracles rescued me of course! 
You rescued me by your angelic abilities – you are my backbone
You are my backbone that serves as a reliable source 
Suddenly, there’s no need to beg for help, for your generosity is shown
I’ve discovered it like priceless gold
You aren’t unknown to me, but you’re bright and bold
Integrity and love dwells with you daily
Your hope and happiness leave me speechless frankly
Why are you shying away?
Why are you making me feel this way?
Where’s the light in goodbye?

You’re trying to tell me something
I hear you calling my name…echoing farewells
You’re dying to see me be a fruitful being
You're blending in with the dreary fog…
You are a distant star
That I put my trust in
I need your faith to forgive my sin
I need your love to build me up from deep within
Deep down inside, I know that my fate will win
My fate of landing in between…
The grass is greener on the other side
My flight turned out to be a deleted scene! 


Details | Free verse | |

My Shadow



Blackness, a dark version of me, badness, negativity.

No matter how fast i run or were i run too your right behind me.

Even the brightest sun doesn’t destroy you, you only exist because of me.

All i know is when i face the darkness you disappear, but to only return when the sun rises.



Details | Free verse | |

repititious lifestyle

Single file lines going forward into oblivion and lost upon the way
A lost sense of corruption, gaining another sense of nothingness
A feeling forlorn. A feeling repugnant. A feeling transposed, again.
Trying oh so very hard not forget the origins of the forgetful soul
Happiness turned rotten, turned to ash, turned tasteless. Face the fact
Quiet remembrance, a quiet longing for all things new, again.


Details | Free verse | |

Thoughts In The Way

How to claim what I see, how to write, how to say? How can I say when my thoughts are in 
the way?
In matters of the heart, my mind has hindered me. It leads down roads I'd rather not be.
But this boy...this man, he's worth it, but how can I say? Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, my 
thoughts are in the way!

It's quite the predicament, it's true, so I suppose simple words will have to do.

Warm. Loving. Hurting. quiet. Hides behind masks, and can raise up a riot.
Sensative, caring, thinks he's undeserving. A boy that I love and think he's worth everything.
Funny. Sad. Lonely and seeking. Wanting to love, but afraid of hurting.

Beautiful. Glowing, his Light how it's shining. A lost little boy who inside is crying.
A lost grown man who inside feels like dying...

How can I declare the beauty that I see, how can I write what he means to me. How can I 
say when my thoughts are in the way?

Easy answered, friends, easy answered. My mind does not speak, but my heart acts.


Details | Free verse | |

Siren Dreams

He walks by night
Lost in thought
     lost in shadow

Mother Ocean lashes against the shorline
beating primal pulses
Drumming her sensual rhythm

He walks by night
surrounded by shadow
      Female forms...restless
as the scent of warm male permeates the salt sea air

She gives in to the longing that abides
      within her convoluted core

Watching
Waiting
Wanting
a release to this need
      Her wicked need
licking slow heat along open nerves

The touch is perilous
Heady
Hot

She rides him through the surf
      the seductive caress of waves
      Coming in the water

Rides him till the end
      the end of all things

...Or so he thinks
As he walks along the shorline
      hands in his pockets
      Lost in thought
      in shadow

Kicking up sand as
He walks by night


Details | Free verse | |

No Escape

She's Loved, 
 She feels no love, not even herself,
 She's alone, But She's with Family, 
she wants to end it all,
She wants to be free,
 Free from her existence, 

She slit her wrist,
Feeling the cold dampness on her palm,
 Freedom is all she wants, a
Morphines running in her blood stream,

She can't,
She can't end it all, 
She can't free herself from her meaningless existence..


Details | Free verse | |

I LOST MY TRUST

I lost my trust and belief 
In this merciless world 
That even wounds the shadow 
And sucks the blood emitting 
I lost my trust and belief 
In God 
As he is crucifying at every second 
And lost all his power 
But I trust in me and I will fight 
As life is to live and not to weep 


Details | Free verse | |

Grief

I walked a lonesome street
one dawn morning,
the sun was also rising,
and I could hear the baby birds chirping away.
I walked past a cemetery
guarded by black, iron bars,
I heard death's growl.
I turned and there he was; Death grinning at me.
I saw an old man sitting next to a tombstone,
he was crying.

I wonder who he had lost?
Such a sad sight to see such grief,
but that is the surprise of life.


Details | Free verse | |

TRY IF YOU CAN

To have lost someone so dear to you and can't comprehend,
  Trying to make sense of it all so your heart can begin to mend.
The memories that torment you each night tearing you apart,
   Making it harder for you to rest because your afraid of the dark.
Every day begins the same for you with tears that fall like rain,
   You can't make it stop because your heart is filled with so much pain.
Pretending to laugh and faking your smile hiding what's really inside,
   In reality what you really want do is drop to your knees and cry.
So sad and so angry your mixed emotions driving you mad running wild,
   It's all to hard to understand your feeling like a lost and lonely child.
There are moments you want to do nothing but scream out in rage ,
   Just to hold that love one lost one more time is what you really crave.
Deep inside you know that wish will never be and you must go on alone,
   As hard as it may seem you have to learn to face this life on your own.
Remember this if you can my friend and do your best to understand ,
   This is something we all must pass through for this is part of Gods Plan.
TAC


Details | Free verse | |

Actor

When she put on her dress
She was an actor in a play
Living in someone else’s shoes
Speaking someone else’s words
Breaking someone else’s heart
And pocketing someone else’s name.

She could fool even the sharpest person
With her pose
With her grace
With her keen mind.

The actor was so talented
So gifted and in sync with her character
So lost in someone else’s life
That she fooled her loved ones
She gripped onto her mask
She tossed out words that were not her own
She took a hammer to their hearts
Breaking them as if they were glass
She tore them apart like rag dolls
Confusing them on where they stood
Presenting them with the cold truth.
She was gone.

No longer herself
Suddenly a princess
Suddenly homeless
Suddenly breath-taking
Suddenly hideous.

She was gone.
Lost in different lives.
Floating above the clouds
In a world that wasn’t her own.
She’d lost everyone.
She’d lost herself.
She’d truly became her character.


Details | Free verse | |

A Letter Of The Lost Alphabets II Continuation

As we headed with the shadows
Along the primrose path
You were bemused, you were afraid
You were alone
You let to live along with those
humanoids from the deep
Cursing you...
Yet you concealed your pain
With your smile that appeared so lone.

Once I misread your eyes
I lost my patience...
There I thought 
I lost you forever
As thereafter I woke up
When I heard
You were crying all alone.

You heard me I was calling you
As I whispered your name
that traveled along with the wind -
I chanced to see you again
I sought to hear you again
I paced to walk with you again
I cherished to smile with you again
But all of a sudden
I lamented the words you said
Yet you cajoled me
As for the first time...
I realized...
I was afraid of losing you
When you will walk away to another life. 

I tried to fight the humanoids 
Those who cursed your life
Sometimes you misread me
And we bickered endless nights.
Yet we held each other tight
And tried to revel the days
with our playful acts
I enjoyed listening when you sung the 'Rik' rap,
You made me bellylaughed everytime
When you rhymed the 'honeybunch, sugarplum',
I spoke to you as long as I came to your dreams...
You made me to laugh out loud
When you mimicked my rude voice so accurately. 

Thence you asgined me to be your knight
and you fronted a battle you wanted to fight -
I accepted and I was ready withal my armors 
But all I lost
When I realized...my Queen's realm
was already occupied by those humanoids...
And my sword can't shed further blood
As my Queen is still living with her wounded soul.

I Wish where-ever you are
Be happy forever
And Still I know...
You can hear me
ANd so here are my last words
You will be remembered forever...
Lots of love, 
Your Rik.


Details | Free verse | |

Wheres Recovery

Deep within me lies all my sins 
They sit on a pile of thoughts of what I could have been 
They're intertwined with every moral I thought by I lived 
Slowly smothering my Gods will 
Always bringing me back to if I had never taken that first pill 
Where is there recovery for me? 
Dressed in my sins from head to toe  
They've risen from the bottom, there's no where else to go 
Every single days the same 
Everyone can see my problems 
But I still don't know where to go, 
Where is there recovery for me? 
I still have these dreams of being more than I am 
But sometimes it seems my dreams are a message in a bottle, 
drifting away further and further from the shore 
And this ocean is man made of my own mistakes and regrets 
of my lost dreams and my lost friends 
of every thing I wanted to achieve, all the things I wanted to be 
but went and sipped on that lean instead 
My souls aching now, for recovery for me.


Details | Free verse | |

The Ransom

           Each time we're together
          we're a million miles apart.
You see me though I'm never really there.
             Lost in your thoughts
                              I 
                         slowly
                      disappear
          Fading like yesterday's sun
My words are but shadows, lost to the night
     Your thoughts become your prison
          Held captive by the silence
             I try to pay the ransom
                               A
                           Penny
                             For
                            Your
                        Thoughts


Details | Free verse | |

Untitled Lost

I have lost the feeling, 
The feeling of being secured, 
The feeling of being happy, 
I have lost the feeling of being in love.

I have lost the feeling, 
The feeling of flying, 
The feeling of being free, 
I have lost the feeling of loving you.

I have lost the feeling, 
The feeling of sincerity in your eyes, 
The feeling of being bound in your hug, 
I have lost the feeling of infinity between us.

I have lost all faith in us, 
Who we are, 
Where we were going, 
And I have lost trust in “I love you'.


Details | Free verse | |

love-a cruel chapter of life

Love feeling divine
some says love is creation of god
When a boy drowse loving a girl
boy's imagination feeling and emotion fell down
 
when a girl breaks his feelings
a boy alive still with a pain in heart
But still a boy needs love 
girl compromise with her ownself

But a boy never forget that girl and struggling with life
Never want to alive but the reason to alive is unknown
But a boy's emotions is murdered by a girl 
Happiness disappeared but a boy still alive.


Avnesh yadav


Details | Free verse | |

Three Seconds Lost To Time

Three Seconds Lost To Time

Three seconds lost to time
A short time to most
An eternity to others
Asked for a kiss I froze
Stood there silently wondering what to do
It was a kiss I hoped for
Dreaming about it night after night
The kiss had to wait
The words of love flowed from you
So many times I heard those three words
I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t
That kiss would have shared my feelings
If only I had given you the kiss you asked for
Just three seconds so many years ago
How did they change my life?
I will never know
So many seconds have passed since then
So many kisses
So many I love yous spaced over the years
Thinking back I miss those three seconds
Missing what they could have preordained
Wondering what that kiss could have meant
Alas those seconds are lost
Gone, taken by the Fates
Given to someone else who would value them
I can only think back and wonder
What would those three second have meant in my life
But that is all I can do…wonder


Details | Free verse | |

Sickness of Darkness

Unknown the depth of dark
That lies behind the hill
Shadow cast as sun sets
Beyond the light’s arc
The valley remains still
Willfully one forgets

Observing from the top
Looking only ahead
Blind to what lay below
A pit for those who drop
With their sickness embed
Far from the bright plateau 

Upon the other side
Turning back to the past
Now level are their souls
Light the only divide
Much clearer the contrast 
Darkness and its controls

Unknown the depth of dark
Move away from the hill
Shadows grow as sun sets
Past the reach of light’s arc 
Those in need remain still
Willfully one forgets


Details | Free verse | |

Faith Healer

The odor is intolerable
Like a foul beast clinging to the end 
I can barely subdue its subterfuge 
But here I am, 
I’m standing here of sound and mind
Waiting for the time that answers my own questions

Can it race with the fires of Orc?
Doubtful, but it can jog steadily can’t it?
The weather is awful, filled with sounds
Penetrating a document not written
It pains me to fight through the night
Not because it’s dark, but because I am just a shadow.

Lester drives but
Motional lasts forever
Still driving
Still crying
And slowly dying as time waves on
Like oceans that can’t be seen.

Nobody cares and everyone listens
Ironic, like a bible that holds lies and deception
Can its will be pierced?
Can freedom stay free?
Is it worth it to stay hooked when everyone around
Seeks liberty?


Details | Free verse | |

Nothing

I have nothing to write about. 
Nothing is happening to me. 
I’m numb and nothing is happening. 
I sit here and still nothing happens. 
I wait and wait, nothing prevails. 
I’m painless, nothing moves. 
I’m emotionless, nothing reacts. 
I exist, nothing cares. 
I am nothing.


Details | Free verse | |

Decrepit Canyons

I long to lead you to the psychosis of your existence 
Toward the ill repute of your identity something amiss has transpired
I would rather wish you gone before too much is said
I would rather wish you gone before too much is said  

I long to lead you to the barbed wire crawling around my fingers
Or perchance you rather fancy the sun-set epigone
As you have taken much and I so little
As you have taken much and I so little

I long to lead you to my inimitable skeleton assortment 
Of primordial fossils and domestics departed
Highland mammals unknown
Highland mammals unknown

I long to lead you to my rickety heights
To the sheer drop from which they have risen and fallen
The decrepit canyons chilled with black fog
The decrepit canyons chilled with black fog 

I long to lead you to the fingers scratching the backbone 
Every tip stroke leaving a detailed marking
They possess your hidden origin
They possess your hidden origin 

I long to lead you to my clouded eyes that see all
And the squalid corrosion that cakes my lungs  
Through the cavity I was born
Through the cavity I was born

I hunt for you…in the decrepit canyons chilled with black fog 
I hunt for you…in the decrepit canyons chilled with black fog
I hunt for you…in the decrepit canyons chilled with black fog
I hunt for you…in the decrepit canyons chilled with black fog


Details | Free verse | |

losing yourself

I've lost myself 
a couple of times before
I let so many people 
walk in and out of life
like it was a revolving door
Am I bruised enough 
to admit that I'm scared?
Did I sin enough 
to the point where
no one will be there?
I fell so fast 
I always think 
that this times gonna last
but as I reach out for my heart
it's once again dying
and all I can think about is the past 
Where do I turn 
when I can't sleep?
Who will be there 
to give my heart some tea?
When will the band aid make me well?
These are the questions that I always wonder
He broke it 
I have to fix it
No manual to help me 
No good remedies to mend it
All I have is two broken halves
and a bottle of cheap kindergarten paste
that's supposed to help glue me back again
I've been lost before 
and it's not ordinary tour 
but I will find this door 
me myself and I will be just fine
with time. 


Details | Free verse | |

Surviving Life

The water felt good.
I fell from where I stood.
Knees are both weak;
Been under a spell for a week.
Now that it was broken,
I'm left shaken.
In the water I sunk,
Letting my body get drunk.
I needed some more;
I wanted so much more.
Took the dose
Until I overdose.
It started with one,
Now I'm never done.
It takes everything away.
Leaving me numb for a day.
Forgetting the pain,
Happiness, I hope to gain.
In my mind was a vast space
Couldn't remember my own face.
I felt so very high
Not thinking it was all a lie.
Believed I am free,
That my troubles had let me be.
I took every pill
Until I lost my own will.
A friend is what it seemed
In a promise of bliss it beemed.
I couldn't accept my fate
And for a time I lost my faith.
That night, in the hotel room;
And after, in every other room.
Over and over --
Til I could no longer remember
How it felt to be pure;
Or if I ever was, I wasn't sure.
Touch that made my skin crawl
Stares that made me feel small.
I wanted to forget and not feel
Hoping nothing's real.
I let myself drown in ecstasy
For a while I lived in a fantasy.
Until one day,
In the middle of all the dissarray,
I saw the son I hold dear
In his eyes there's only fear.
I knew then for a time I was lost,
His fears touched me the most.
I had to do something
For him I'd do anything.
I took the easy way out,
This I knew without a doubt.
So I took each pill
Flushed it down as I stood still.
I know I will get better
For my son deserves better.


Details | Free verse | |

She Has Gone In The Breeze

~
on the old oak table lay yesterday
on the old oak floor steps fade away
could this crumpled paper of thought
rekindle everything that has been lost
or must I simply sweep them away...            

a lifetime of endless dream
vanish in the midst of the crackling flame
of all the words spoken 
and all the silent beauty of love 
why must only pain remain...

for now it seems a lost color, a lost poetic song
and I, I  sit silent upon the edge of tomorrow
hoping I can arrive...
~


"Brian Strand Contest"

















Details | Free verse | |

A place favorable for escape

Escape at hands reach
all by excellence
a place favorable for escape
into revelations of brightness of solar edification
A place near the corner of the rebirth seat
of ornamental art of all times
A place kept in the decorations of tact
there towering above the canopies of liquid time
Nested at the bottom belly of the heavens of the gods
lulled by the clouds of rationale and dogma
beyond the ramparts stand 
erected in admirable vestiges of seasons
all flora and ampitheatrical emotions are paraded
in colonies of heroes all unsung
therein lie the yesteryear monuments of promise
all famous for schools of witnesses
before them lies the mother of the illustrious men
astir of purpose and sanguine enterprise
there on the enchanted landscape of magical fauna
seasons awhile, seasons engrossed
a piece of heaven on earth for hereafter
memories long lost now reflected in the mirror
As they reenter the gateway of history
while the captivating vestiges watch
the fallen dynasties rolling in the departed wealth
theatres of charm marvel 
under the cloudless sky
below the mountains uphold the magnetic touch
luring the seductive sky above
to build a bridge for exploitation of sunrises
while knocking vestige stones into a noble talk
Virtues like shadowy men walk the mythical way
Leaving behind emblematic constructions for footprints
charged to challenge time and space
on the terraces of time
full of spirit and enthusiasm
a flame with the urge to kill
charged and imbued with impulse of authenticity was
but one with lost anecdotes
Around her sat the legends of the mystique meander
Like spring water gushing out of the ground
tolerance glow proudly like the metal sun of existence


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Searching for the lost child
What a mistake we made
For the lost child isn't lost any more
She ran away


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

I was watching the T.V.
And there was nothing
interesting on
So I decided to go for a walk,
I locked the door of my house
And started walking...
And I stopped short!
Where am I? Who am I?
I looked around and 
nothing seem familiar;
And what the heck am I writing?
I have no story to tell ...


Contest: 5 Minutes challenge
05/11/13


Details | Free verse | |

Seeking Shelter

Words are meaningless
Each syllable lost 
Drowned out by the storm around me

No escape
My fate decided
Foretold by the rain and thunder

Face up in the rain
I persevere
Hardened to the sting of each droplet

Tired eyes pan the sky
Searching for refuge
Weary from yet another deluge


Details | Free verse | |

Forever and Always

I think about you day and night,
Not because I'm obsessed but because I'm simply in-love,
I love you from your eyes straight through to the fact when I see youit feels like I got grenades exploding in my chest,
but thats just my heart rapidly beating against my chest cavity because my heart wants to be right next to yours,
yes I do feel lost when I'm far from you,
but I'm far from lost when I'm thinking about you because I know exactly what I want,
thats love and I found it,
I feel empty when we apart,
but I'm filled up with an abundance with love once we connect,
I would die a thousand deaths for you,
even though I can only die once,
but "they" say in 'hell' you die over and over again,
I guess I'm going to hell for you,
call me crazy,
but I do love you,
Forevr and Always.


Details | Free verse | |

I Come To Like This

Is it sanity or bravery that I come to you like this?
Wanting, no needing something to live for
Something to see
On the long marched across the sea of grass I wonder
What maddens possessed me?
What in sanity led me to this place?
Out here looking for friend
What have I done to myself?
I’m mining my own gold
Yet can I trust the value it will bring?
Can I trust myself?
Is it sanity or bravery that I came to you like this?
On the long dark nights I lay awake
Doubting my nightmare dreams
I’m standing at an alter
The women beside, my bride
Is weeping nothing tears
I keep whispering to her
It’s ok love
And she keeps
Shushing me
I close my eyes
When they open gold falls from the sky
I look up
There are my eyes
Weeping rain
Breathing thunders last game
I close my eyes
I’m not afraid of the darkness
I trust that the moon shall guyed me
So is it vanity or brave that I came to you like this?
Is it saintly last strand?
Madness in a brandy glass?
Or
Has the game of loneliness come to its end?
What do I do?
Shall I press forth into the unknown?
The unseen?
Mining my own gold
Or
Do I stay here?
Like a child hiding beneath my mother’s dress?
Is it sanity or bravery that I come to you like this?
With my heart out there to chow
I don’t know what else to do?
So I write and walk
Think and talk
Yet how can I be share
That I’m welcomed with open arms
Is it vanity or bravery that I’ve come to you like this?
Out here looking for a friend
Among the black sheep
The folks that no one needs
Except for me
So is it saintly or bravery that I stand before you
With my heart out there to chew
I didn’t know what else to do.


Details | Free verse | |

What it that I see

What is it that I see?
Out of the corner of my eye
A fleeting shadow
Is it real?
A glimpse into another universe?
Imagination?
I think I saw my cat
She died some years ago.
Can I reach across?
Could I, can I stay?
How wonderful if so
No need to grieve
Our lost ones are still there,
In the multiverse.
Some other parallel scheme.
Can I reach my long lost baby sister?
I never knew her
She died before her birth
So sad.
I didn’t even know that she was there
On my Mother’s death I found her
In her papers.
Her name was Lindy
And I’ve always wanted a sister
What is it that I see?
Out of the corner of my eye
A fleeting shadow
If only this was real
I could reach my long lost baby sister


Details | Free verse | |

Poet of love

Some speak of love, others devote themselves to achive perfect love
All in the name of love and I write to its well be
To love a woman, to hold her, it is like having the world itself in your arms
The touch of her skin, the warmth of her lips
Walking along the sea shore, seeing the future in eachothers eyes
Smell her hair, smell her for love too has its scent
Speak to her of her, admire her she is your one and only
Don't loose thy trust that love will topple into dust
Let your heart speak of the colors that paint the scene
Look deeper than what meets your window
You will be surprised at what you may find
As I lost my reason to dream, be not like me
I no longer have anything to smile for
I lay down my heart so that you may use it as your mat
Kick me now when I drag my body from the mud
Drown me in words that break the heart
I don't care, I too have a heart of stone
It grows colder with each passing night
Allow me to say I am the poet whom failed
The artist whom lost her canvas
I drown in misery and only breathe in failure
O' luck will you leave me, leave me to die inside


Details | Free verse | |

where did it go wrong

I don’t need your love if you can’t see my heart shines enough
If I’ve got to have money to find your love
If you don’t hide your issues I can find your trust
But baby where did it go wrong?
Was the baggage too heavy?
Did it just feel wrong?
Or were we just not ready?
We just weren’t mature
My depression and you being insecure
I thought I’d addressed all of this on poem of love
But we thought we were so in love
I had to laugh it off, you talking about marriage and giving birth
When you kept accusing me of lifting skirts
Let’s not play the blame game as to why we didn’t work
I guess we are both to blame 
But no closure came
I spent the whole time trying to show you I am worth it
You were trying to turn me into the perfect man 
While I tried to show you ain’t no man perfect
How was I meant to take spirit?
When you were trying to transform our relationship into a drake lyric
Yeah I pour my heart out
Flaws and scars out
But I didn’t look at another girl while I was with you
No matter what you want to believe
I wasn’t going to beg you not to leave
How could 2 people so right for each other be so wrong?
So sick of love music so I’ve got no Ne-yo on
Maybe if we met now we could work
My alter-ego’s gone, depression brought out my worst
Which meant I gave you troubles that were undeserved
I apologise for all that its worth
But we only talked, I never went to bed with her 
I’m responsible for what I say not what she takes out of what I said to her
Feelings were shared but her head is hers
Yeah I had a line of girls who I could be with and not care how it goes
I’ll allow their body to cover up the fact my heart is broke
They won’t have any info won’t know anything matters
They’ll just see my smile and laughter
Put you to the back of my mind
It’ll end up passing in time
But it can’t be good in the long run
My all wasn’t enough so where did I go wrong hun?
Lets’ flip it, I can act like we never met
I don’t know you
I don’t have any regrets
Don’t remember a thing we had to go through
You’re a stranger
No feelings towards you, no hurt, pain or anger
You’re no longer a danger
Is this how we grow?
You thought I was using you to boost my ego
I won’t text I won’t call
Delete the memories of when you begged me to take you against the wall
You’ll still blame me say I made you fall
But will forget to say how I gave my all
How you were half-hearted, heartless, manipulative and bitter
Now I’m getting abuse from your friends on twitter
They only know your side but of course they believe you
I have a lot I could show them
But I’ll just say I’m leaving you
I realised you’re not worth it
But I’ll still writer all these verses 
The girl who I thought would fix me, did more damage than healing me
Failed to manage in killing me
Pain didn’t vanish it’s still in me
Maybe we need to remove the past
Introduce the facts
Sick of getting abused and attacked
You thought I was sleeping with my female friends
But you talked to them more than I do
They were never with me even way before I met you
It’s just nice having friends you can depend on knowing they won’t let you down
But I don’t need your love
If you were that perfect your ex’s would have stuck around 


Details | Free verse | |

You got me

I’ve been thinking about you.
 You know know know
 Im hitting my all time low low low
 Wonder how you’re dojng
 Here there’s no point for proving
 Baby, I just really care.
 Baby, don’t act like it’s rare.
 25 hours
 8 days
 You on my mind.
 You got me lost with nothing to find.
 You got me struck by cupid.
 You got me actin stupid
 You got me in love.
 You, got me thinking you’re my angel from heaven up above.
 You got me hurting.
 My Heart—You got it pouring
 Out in several little text messages,
 Trying to call you, isn’t this a presage?
 That you’re the one for me,
 That we’re meant to be.
 This you had me fooled.
 Doing whatever for you like a mule.
 Don’t see how you could be so cruel?
 Saying go away forever,
 When I though that’s how long we were gonna be together.
 Not even a goodbye.
 Leaving me with a Painful Lonely sigh
 But I guess it’s my fault.
 For opening up my vault.
 For letting you in.
 Let you begin
 Where I end.
 Guess I never should of called.
 Got me cryin, startin to bawl.
 Guess I shouldn’t of texted.
 Shouldn’t of even messed with it.
 But I miss you too death.
 But I love you till my last breath.
 It just became so hard.
 After I showed you my last card.
 I hope you understand,
 I'll swim in the water, you keep the land.
 Have a good happy life,
 Without me as your wife.
 Only the best for you,
 I just wish you knew.
 You're on my mind.
 You got me lost with nothing to find.
 You got me struck by cupid.
 You got me acting stupid.


Details | Free verse | |

Memory

Some days, she sat gazing out the window,
Stone-still, statue-like.
She didn’t answer when we called.

Some days, she lay frail on her bed
And tears pooled onto her pillow.
She was oblivious to the outside world.

Some days, she leaned on icy walls,
A bitter, lost, half-smile on her lips.
She would stand unmoving for hours.

One day, she grew old and weak,
Propped up with lots of pillow on the bright white bed.
She looked sunken and fragile and very, very little.

Where have you been?” we asked her.
She turned to us her unseeing, hollow eyes and uttered the only words 
we had heard her say.

‘Lost,” the broken lips whispered,
‘Lost in the maze of memory.’


Details | Free verse | |

The Dark Forest

Running through the dark forest that never seems to end
The crows caw
Their jeers echo through the air
The sharp branches of the trees
They dig into my skin
The pain, though excruciating, calms me
It tells me I’m still here
The forest seems so unreal that the pain helps
But the pain also gives me sadness
Sadness that cannot go away
Sadness that scars me inside
I want to leave the forest
But leaving will cause more pain
More pain than the forest could ever give
But then there is no more forest
No more running
No more crows
No more darkness
But I can’t leave
Not yet.


Details | Free verse | |

Im trying

The sky never really seemed to break up
The sun never wanted to show up
The innocence of a sentence is lost as soon as it is tossed
In the pit from which I speak, I am far from weak
But strong I’m not, determination I got but I have weak spot
It is intertwined with emotion a friendly potion from which I sip
After which I forget that friendship is a remedy for lonely
But for me the cure is absolutely unnecessary
Nevertheless, I got to keep moving forward
Because she loves me she needs me but honestly it’s scary
The way she depends on me loves me unconditionally
Forgives my faults even though she keeps complaining
At times I don’t pay attention to what it is she is saying
Because I know, that no matter how slow
We will once again grow past this nonsense
Our fight will be past tense and we will utter a white flag sentence
I love you, yeah I love you too
And I say it, and I know I do
But not to the extent to where she dwells
She actually visits hell, when I forget to kiss her goodnight
Forget to call her, or tell her I miss her, all these reasons could be cause for a fight
She firmly believes that my time is best spend with her
Any other logic will not occur, nor concur
So I sit
To conjure up a strategy, a fantasy to romantically sweep her off her feet
Place my finger on her lips, don’t speak, but bask in the ambiance
Let yourself get carried away, by white wings attached to a display
Omitted by words I can’t say so as I sit I think this is OK
But all these thoughts are for naught because not a single flower has been bought
Not a single kiss has been brought to her lips that would tantalize her spine
To let her know that she is mine
So now I have lost her as well
And now I find myself in hell
Nevertheless, I got to keep moving forward
Because the present moves with a pace that will deface 
Any case brought before it posthaste 
Be it future or past it will cast a spell so enticing 
Any hope I had will sing a song of defeat 
My heart is weak, but my mind is strong 
My actions are righteous my words are wrong
A walking contradiction a cause with no conviction 
An elaborate fantasy lacking fiction 
I can see why they do not want me
Could be my honesty or just my insanity 
I’m withholding a message cause I know you’re not listening 
You hear the words but you’re not listening 
This is for the world to see 
How twisted it has made me
Nevertheless, I got to keep moving forward
So I will


Details | Free verse | |

A Letter Of The Lost Alphabets

To My Dear...
I hope everything is fine at your end
Time is running and my heart is grieving
As I count the remaining days...
Just couple of months left.
I lost you somewhere, I don't know where
Though it was a short span
But you gave me dose little memories
Those I will cherish
As I live rest of my life.
I'm writing this letter
Leaving you a note
You will be remembered withal
Love and praise...and a wish remains...
Wherever you are, be happy forever.


You came to my life as a red rose
Blossomed one winter morning
And I adored the redolence
When the wind passed by
I could still see you playing with the racket
Holding it nonchalantly with a smile
I could still hear you singing with the wordses
Writhing your hands with the rhythm so mild.

With the days succeeding
We started to meet in between our busy time
One day, two days followed by a week
Slowly I started to walk along with your life.
I still remember the evening I waited for you
Hoping to greet my graceful time
And there you came with a beautiful smile
Even the noisy streets weakened
As you came closer to mine.

As days followed
Little talks followed with long gossips
Withal your bellylaughs and my pranks
I still remember that X-mas day
When you rushed along the streets
Your first visit at my place.
A horror flick afternoon, followed by a fun loaded evening
I smiled as you smiled
And I framed those memories...
As I took a sip
from my whiskey glass.

Though we greeted the new year
But January conveyed you with tears
The friend who left you behind
You held him tight 
With your memories so clear.
Slowly you got hold of yourself
Yet you implied yourself with your hidden tears
Though you smiled, you jubilated
Yet, somewhere you were seeking
Those days you lived
Once again to revive. 

Consequently you intimated with the reality of life
And we briefed our life together
Never to be apart
Nothing I was worried then
We shared every bit of our daily life.
I became your eyes
And I took an oath...
Will never let you cry.
You became my strength
And you took an oath...
You will walk with me...my entire life.



Note: Continued to "A Letter Of The Lost Alphabets - II"


Details | Free verse | |

The Couple and I

Their blessed hands meet,
And jewels are displayed
No one witnesses their shine;
It is between the two
Acceptance of each other,
They walk side by side
Avoiding the skylines of passerby
Not caring about the outside world

No one really seems to notice 
But I do

I saw the couple before
I have always wondered how it feels
To be loved...

I can get so sad
But one thing makes me glad—
The world pays no notice of pathetic me
But at the same time no one seems to notice these two jewels

Or maybe someone is looking from a distance
Watching me
Thinking the same exact thing!

Doubtful, but I can dream

4/14/13


Details | Free verse | |

The lost self

Where am I
Now lost in the dark
Stripped down to my core
Love now recognized in my loneliness
For there is some truth even in a lie
The difference not being a question of reason
But a finite line
Truth and lie separated only by time and will
How did I fail to notice
Fleeing in the night
The further I ran
No matter which direction
The closer I got
Reflections from depression
Hope renewed
A vicious cycle to be repeated
Neither love song 
Nor sad song
Can change the truth
My heart desired to reach this point
My mind avoiding it
What remains
Therein lies the contradiction
Stripped down to my core
Now lost in the dark
Where am I


Details | Free verse | |

Bed Number 36

Lying in bed number 36
I'm here cuz I shot and missed
Took a chance a risky gamble
With my safety and security
I lost and lost big
Loan sharks are after me
Can't decide if it's time to flee
Too late to start over
Too big a chip on my shoulder
Lord I was born a ramblin man
Only women ain't sposed to ramble
Now what I think as I lay in my bed
Next to women that stink of poverty
The loan sharks are after me
Time to pay up or dead I will be
So tired of runnin
Gotta keep runnin
Don't know why I'm runnin
No use really runnin
Havin lunch with the mad hatter
Only hes the loan shark
Can't remember how much I owe
He looks mad like hes ready to blow
Or maybe that's me
I'm the mad hatter
Collecting the debts
That are owed to me
Still lying in bed number 36
Was it worth the risk?
Tryin to be tough
Only made it more rough
I'm runnin runnin runnin
But I ain't goin nowhere
Stuck on an island where
Even the coconuts wont be my friend
Alice is calling, Alice, the white girl
Calls my name, always calling me to
Do the evil deeds she can't do
I'm the mad hatter and I'm mad
Mad that I'm the mad hatter
Mad that Alice keeps calling my name
So mad the loan sharks are after me
The looking glass in front of me
Always looks greener on the other side
Only now the goats have eaten all the grass
Alice wants me to come over
Lying in bed number 36
Maybe I should succumb
I feel so numb
1 step 2 steps 3 steps 4
Guess who just walked through the door?


Details | Free verse | |

demotion to concrete statue

this bent crown is dipped in blood bacause
i am immune to the emptiness and the dispair
this throne is drenched in sticky misery because
i am blind to all that vision creates and decorates
it is the evening of the royal ball, and i want the bent rim of life to fall
i do not care where the destination of the impact is
i think of you, my queen, a distance away in closeness
the lights are drawn, but darkness lingers on

there once was a time when essence of your presence promoted me period
the memory of the depth of each experience causes me to release my burdens
when i come down, normalcy returns like the many splendored nothingness
i overexert myself while pressing all the buttons to freeze every momentary 
thought of you
perhaps it is not worth it
perhaps i should move and just let all thoughts of you perish
whatever the case may be, you have a way of driving me crazy
darkness lingers on, but the lights stay drawn


Details | Free verse | |

In The Great Expanse of Tomorrow

Shimmering blues catching the light..
Like dew droplets on a chilled morn..
Clouds motionless, filling the sky..
their soft silken shuffle, reflecting upon the silent sea..
Mighty peaks rising from the pebbled shores..
Stretching their ancient bones towards the burning sun...
Scents of pine and wildflowers mixed, floating on the breeze..
Man's footprint here is just that...
A small mark...
Like an ants step on shifting sands...
The earth uncut and unmarked...
Eyes see not what surrounds, they see what is not...
Who stops their churning to witness the dawn?
to watch butterflies dance?
to stand and smile in the rain?
to truly see life and feel alive?
We are disconnected in our connection...
Lost with all roads ahead,
In the great expanse of tomorrow......TAH


Details | Free verse | |

A Society of Dark Comedy

Falsified and hypnotized.
 
Broken.
 
                       Monopolized.
 
Incurable and in need.
 
Overpopulated;
 
                             And alone.
 
Aggresively ignorant.
 
                                       Proud.
 
A world full of:
 
Tattered sincerity.
 
                             Ambushed happiness.
 
Hot tears and cold smiles.
 
Hollow people looking for....
 
                                         Something..
 
To feel alive;
 
Sometimes I feel like
we're already too dead to find it.
 
-James Kelley 2011©


Details | Free verse | |

Death of the Deceived

I lurk to tread troubled waters,
Across earth’s reality.
On traced wheels of ventured
Men, lost in faded glory.
My eyes print upon the strand,
And sway, entranced in their vexing
Motions, as She hauls her prey:
Frozen preserves of timely wrath,
Slipping amiss…amiss.
Into Her broken depths,
That gather darkness
From wood and flesh;
Petrified, neath Her swollen fists.
She lusts the breath of sailing ships
Still some far away.

I marvel how many have lost their way
Adrift Her supple skin,
Like doves of derailed direction,
Taken by a drunken wind.
Seduced by Her wispy motions
And spun along sea-web to deceive;
They disregard the Son’s counsel.


Details | Free verse | |

I can't bear to be perfect anymore

I always knew something about you would fade.
Your words never could reach my soul,
But they ripped my heart in half.
With every being of who you are you tired,
And tired but it never worked.
And who I am seems to be frowned upon,
Time and time again.
I was never enough for you,
And someday you'll move on to something great,
To someone greater.
And we're gonna grow apart,
One day I'll see you somewhere and remember you.
You'll be a married man and far past us,
And it won't matter to you.
It'll still scar me and even if right now
I appear as the stronger one, it won't be like this forever.
I'm breaking down on the inside, I just don't show it.
And you don't know the control you have,
I just had to write you this so you would know,
That I'm moving on' and letting go,
Even though I don't want to.
You'll keep going about your life,
And keep regretting me like you have been,
And I've never regretted you.
I feel like I've been pushed down,
Pushed down, cut and pushed into the dumpster.
The sadness is this is no longer a poem.
This isn't a work of art,
This is a sad way of writing a letter to a lost friend,
A lost friend who shouldn't be lost. 
A lost friend who should still be mine.
But I'll give you my acceptance of moving on when it feels,
While it feels unbearable. And I've lost you.
Odds against me, I doubt I'll ever have you again.
I've never been enough for you,
And I can't bear to try to be perfect anymore.
I can't feed you the lies so I'm enough for you.
I guess I'll always be imperfect,
And unable to be yours.
Hopefully you aren't always lost;
Love and leave,
Joy and tears,
Mine and gone,
One day we'll see.


Details | Free verse | |

Waiting at The Grocery Store

Waiting at the Grocery Store

Looking around, my fingers fidgeting a multicolored scarf,
Searching through pockets for a letter that needs to be read, 
a phone call message I need to hear, but there are none. 
And I am going over the list one more time,
Standing semi-still under artificial lights, 
Balancing on alternate limbs
For a carton of skim milk, a loaf of French bread, coffee grounds, cream.
With the arm of a dangling child, a mother rushes by
Pushing cold rubber wheels across the linoleum.
The frantic woman at the register cries about her coupon.
Preparing for a battle, she shakes her head
And waves the war flag,
Fifty-five cents off a box of Lucky Charms.
She spits discontent at a tiny, gray haired cashier.
“Expired?” 
In the distance a child is being abused.
There will be no gum, no M&Ms, no sugar-silence.
The man behind me chimes, “Man, these lines. Never seen such lines.”
And he lies about a place where there are no lines.
He looks in my eyes, tries.
I barely nod, no need for provoking conversation. 
Like the man at the bar who mistook, “Hello” for “Let’s go ****.”
The back of my head still throbs.
And I hate them all.

And I shift away, burning in my skin under the artificial lights,
Waiting for waiting. 



Details | Free verse | |

The Dream

“The Dream”

i am young.
the window in my room is open.
the blinds flicker as the summer nights breeze blows in.
i open my eyes awakened by the noise.
as i peer out into the night a street light fizzles and burns the darkness away.

i am now in the street. . .

i look to the west down the long gray path.
in the distance another light begins to burn.
i see movement.
i struggle to make out the figure.
an old woman approaches from the side.
she looks weak.
covered in a white gown.
it gently flows in the wind as she limps her way to the middle of the road.

suddenly she stops.
after what seems like minutes she slowly turns.
she is off in the distance but i can now make out her features.
she has a look of calm on her face.
she starts to mumble.
i can’t make out what she is saying.
her lips continue to move.
her face begins to crack with frustration.
the veins in her neck bulge and pulse.
her eyes widen and blacken.
she is off in the distance but her face is so clear.
she is screaming into the night air but no sounds are being made.
her face shows her strain but no words are heard.
and in an instant she is face to face with me.
mouth agape.
her breath pushing against mine.
eyes black and veins shivering.

           then, i awake from the dream. 
                              laying in my bed. 
                          i am left wondering.
     when will i have the dream again…     


Details | Free verse | |

Winters Sound

The trickle of sound…
The howling of my veins…
The left handed shackles keeping me…
The uncrossed territory on the north bound…
The loneliness of this cursed winter…
The slim sample of hopelessness…
The insipid matrimony…
The loss of sound…
The creaking of the earth’s rendition…
The sole purpose of this mission…
The fallen voices listen to my sobbing…
The trials and trials of weakness are coming…


Details | Free verse | |

Tell Me Our LoVe Is Not LoSt Among The MidNight Sky

MidNight comes faded beneath my feet,
All is gone above loyalty, love n'
Trust.

What have I done?? Can I regain
The love once lost baby please 
Don't go.

Here you leave me in darkness,
Take my hand and lead me back
To the burning fire.

Among you're eye's that once
Sparked our love so bright, towards
The sun these Tears I Pule
shamelessly.

Tell me I haven't lost you...
I couldn't bare it! Tell me 
You haven't given up??

Please don't leave, my love is:
Still true and pure since the day
We first met.

You mean so much to me, I swear
My love is on A thin line with;
You..I need to know that your
Love still survives,Through me.

Tell me our love is not LoSt among 
The midnight sky.. I honestly love
You!!! Truly no LIES... Baby!! All is
Lost with~out you.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost poem

They say every word spoken in the earth
Goes to a celestial bank in heaven
And becomes the music of the spheres
But I have penned words from heart
And here in this electronic room lost them
What of them, the bosons of my brain
What of the Creator's lost in his domain
What of my poem, the poet and the bird
Have sent to spheres with songs unheard
O they are gone like a child not yet born
Gone, grieving the mother's grave-like womb 
Did I have a miscarriage too
And when the music swells the sphere, will I
Be honored for my words that came and died
Is there a monument for poets in the sky
Is the wind a fragment of my song, I sighed
O the pain not to teach it with my tongue to sing
Or feel in my breast its fluttering wings
O the injustice of it! A poem is a fetus too
Until its cuddled it is not born, and yet its gone
As if a thing not yet alive could die; dark dawn
Cease! I want my child, O Jairus, to live again
What else shall poertrysoup take from me
In this electronic world of technical tyranny?


Details | Free verse | |

i am free

for i can't stand on my own 
i try to smile while evil is around

can't find a place to hide
it seems like your on the other
side of the great divide

when ever i think of you i cry
and everything around me 
wants me to die

all i want is peace in this ocean of life
fighting the quick sand drowning in strife

before the storms arose i had 
you to lean on 
as darkness fills my soul , my rock 
seems to be gone

i have heard your voice over a raging sea
now all is deaf to the sound from me

in a corner of this room so small 
i still give you praise , because i 
will always call

i can remember that this life is a vapor 
in the wind
for you have a plan i can not comprehend 

in my time of sorrow i will always see
the God the Redeemer my Savior 
I AM FREE 


Details | Free verse | |

Madness

       The wait gets longer and the frustration mounts, staying indoors seems depressive, you want to stay out long.
 
       When even the cool lingerie and the dashing ear-studs don't help you hog onto dollops of ice-cream while the chocolates and wafers have no end!
 
      You blankly look at the TV screen and only when it is over you realize your favorite song was playing...
 
      Trying to find solace in all the books that teach you magical things like - ''If you can dream it, you can have it!'' And you suddenly have utter faith in your dreams which lasts only for a moment!
 
      You sit staring at your guests, not even trying to pretend you’re listening to what they're chattering about...you hate them and they can see it in your face!
 
      You open your cupboard and your clothes tumble onto the floor, you have the courtesy to push them back in, simultaneously glancing at the ten day old stand-by note on your phone screen saying - ''Tidy your cupboard''.
Your gaze settles down on the price tag dangling out of the heap of clothes, you tug at it, out comes a Tee and you wonder ''Why the hell did I purchase it when I’m never going to wear it?''
 
     Your sister is on a shopping spree and drags u along. While she's grabbing those fancy clothes you're standing looking at the escalator, weighing it's pros & cons and also wondering what it would be like if it's use was STRICTLY prohibited to the over-weight individuals???
 
     Your phone is ringing, you give it a second's glance and continue reading your book...the person calls  two more times, and because she's a close friend u drop a message saying ''Sorry, ttyl...have guests at home!''
 
      It's 12:30 in the night, looking at your mobile you make a silent wish - ''Let THE message tone ring!''
But when nothing happens you shove in the headphones, skipping all the songs that could make you sad since you've promised yourself you'll not cry tonight!
After almost ten happy attempts (songs) the hope falters and the determination weakens.....You break down & no matter then how much you try, the tears seem to have a mind of their own, they finally take you back to that ''Emptiness'' and once again you find yourself desperately holding back to your faith, your sanity and that thing called love...you just don't want to let it go!!
 
     Soon it is a new day and the madness starts all over again...pretensions...to be listening, to be happy, to be smiling, to be alive!


Details | Free verse | |

Swastika

Swastika
Author: fjamesj9701


The peace your arms once moved humanity and grace
Of luck and prosperity now echoes through nightmares and disgrace
For thousands of years you reperesnted so many cultures
Until propaganda branded you into an image of slaughter
You were sealed on the coin in the Great City of Troy
Adorned Indian textiles and spoken throuh Buddhist voice
Worn proudly on the sleeves of Americans during the first war
Even badged on a Boy Scouts until hitler made you a whore
The symbolism of the four cardinal directions 
have they too lost their ways
Memories as old as ancient lost in time and misplaced
To you well being was to translate from svasti
Idolized by so many wanna be ignorant nazis
Genocide is your agenda but wipe that stupid look from your face
As you now know your tattooed not by your hero but a tan and yellow race
~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Details | Free verse | |

Infinity

Possibly
I lost count
Because I did spend a great amount
Of time lying in bed, thinking of all you've said 
The only cure I have left is the emotions I've bled
In my life, I've been released...I once believed 
I flew away-- chainless and relieved
I lost count 
Infinity


Details | Free verse | |

Wishing On A Shooting Star

Maybe I miss it all,
Like I’ve lost something
That’s never gone away.
Maybe it’s just me, still
Wishing on shooting stars
And birthday candles.
Maybe all I’ll have now
Is the lightness left behind;
My heart left in the past
With the better days and
Sad goodbyes.
Maybe the day will come
Where I have all the answers
And never any questions.
Or maybe I’ll die trying;
Trying to find the glimmer
Of happiness I lost somewhere
In the darkness.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

The scorching sun was laughing
Blisters of my feet were crying
My heart sweated with fear
By my side was no one dear
Tears in my eyes were stout
I could not find my way out
I was lost in the dry desert
Emotions poured out of my heart
I kept wandering like a bee
Then suddenly that light hit me
I stepped forward unto its core
It emanated more and more
I strived to reach its source
I hastened like a restless horse
And I lost myself to a new force...



Details | Free verse | |

When Teardops Fall

When teardrops fall
It will be because
That I lost you 
To life….

I had never cried
In my life
And yet I know
To you I will… if I lost thee

Everyday I am waiting
A glimpse of ……
A beautiful face
An angel look alike

Everyday longing
Hearing gentle whispers
From a love so true
Beneath your hearts abyss

Touching you
There’s nothing 
You could ask for
So much love I have felt

But now I have you
Happiness and contentment is me
Only time and God will take you away
It is when, teardrops fall


Details | Free verse | |

Truth Through You

The all knowing,
unforgiving
subconscious
showing our hidden
secrets of
deep crushes;
that boy in the back row with
long blonde dread locks,
snowy-blue eyes,
with hands that sweat
when he is called upon by the teacher,
though only you recognize this fact.
Or that girl,
always wearing chains
hair black and red,
too small to be recognized;
I don't think she cares.
They shatter our hearts,
when they promptly decline the return
of love.
Secrets of
hidden pasts,
haunting
the world; turns black.
You never realize the
change,
the way your body,
without the help of your logic,
but the help of your daytime thoughts,
your desires,
shows your heart,
your basic wants,
your needs,
like the loves you want,
and the true feelings
of those
closest to you;
love, hate, jealousy.
As you are
in
deep,
as deep as an ocean
with your
shining subconscious,
with love,
like the sun's early morning beams
on a calm blue ocean.
You have more to hide,
than a cursed vampire,
always running from the truth,
though you are not he,
but a waiting woman,
beautiful in sight,
unforgettable in thought,
for the vampire steals your knowledge;
ensuring you that you are safe,
forcing you to relive those
pain filled moments
so that
he can
help
with the past
and future.
But you've already given
to him
the symbol of your sincerity,
through a promise.
A promise to stay with him,
to make things work,
solving each problem,
fixing every broken part,
a promise to,
in the end,
be together,
married.
I take them easily,
from your willing hands,
your previous thoughts,
and the love you give me.
So when, that night,
me basking in the
bright light
of my favorite computer game,
battling others on the
fields of justice,
the League of Legends,
and you gradually rolled over
opened your eyes, glistening,
impossible to miss
even in the
dark, enclosed room,
and you ask of me,
with thoughts of purity,
"Come to bed,
I want to sleep next to you,
feel your warmth"
I lost myself in you,
and even though I wasn't tired,
I wrapped up in the large
warm blankets
draped my arms softly over you,
and lost myself to my own Subconscious,
in hopes you will see,
through the most inner parts of
what makes me,
that I truly, truly love you too.


Details | Free verse | |

Synthetic Selection

Explode the galaxy
iron out this wrinkle in time

Cheapen a poor mans rich taste in fashion
it’s habit to be a creature of design

When the delicate send out the search party
start by scanning the various roadsides
follow the stench of day old regret 
that should lead in right to my location

Where have I landed?
A strangers planet Earth?
A manic depressives getaway?
A lunatics wet dream?

Drain the oceans 
bleed the kids on the mountain
the formidable foes of the knife I haven’t sharpened yet
jam packed arenas stocked with fresh meat
I’ll start at the bottom

-The Man-
The man holds the hand of his wife 
greeting me with a reverse handshake
Something grainy about his personal life
leaked into his lovers tears
it sure as hell isn't this lady on his arm

Rinse his eyes in a river of lust only to let him see what he's done has scorched the Earth
straying too far from...

Rid you
Burn

The scum secretes 
my head can't take much more of this eyesore
total eclipse of his soul has begun

Next up...

-The Harlot-
The girl holding the rose laughing
she’s breeding an uncanny look of impurity

Nothing perverse about what I’m thinking 
it’s what she is

Spreading a soil around the town that reeks
a forked road where she walks down the handle
nothing she won’t do 
nothing she won’t take or see 

Come here and meet me in the middle 
there aren’t so many eyes here
I’m sure this won’t be the most popular of assassinations
everyone likes a harlot

Excitement stimulates  
Diseases decimate
Make up your minds

-The Vagrant-
Traveling on web feet has begun to hurt his ego
burn his shoes and prick at the calloused soul of a man ravaged by nothing

Pity is lost on skin without purpose
throw a penny at something that begs
spare a nickel for a chosen profession

Demon in disguise if you ask me

Blameless self de-evolution personified in a cardboard box
warming themselves with headlines and bold ink
Cold?
Maybe
Alas, what I do must be done
It's a thirst unquenched by a common liquid and if not
then innocence is lost in a blink of an eye

Explode this galaxy
iron out this wrinkle in time


Details | Free verse | |

You

I fear to 
   Kiss
the memory of
         You
To love, still


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

I have been dead so many times.
My mortal body can handle this hate no more.
I was in the flesh, the motion of my sins.

Those sins take occasion by the commandment,
Deceived me, then by it..killing me.
Wrought in me all manner of concupiscence.

I can feel Me. A wretched human being.
I let desperation stole my soul.
Who can deliver me from this body of this death?

Whenever I would do well,
Evil and hate are present with me.
And now..where am I?


Details | Free verse | |

Monsters

The monsters came back, 
They taunted her every night,
Telling her absurd things.
They made her think.
They whispered in her ear 
Trying to lead her to do 
something
She had tried so hard to 
overcome.
This was a constant battle 
Between her and the wicked.
And yet again,
She was left with nothing
In a dark room
Because the monsters won.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Again

...wait just a minute,
Now I know where
I was going to go,
And who I am;

I am Sir Lancelot,
The legendary knight of Camelot,
Dressed in a shiny suit of armor
bound for King Arthur's 
Knights of Round Table.
I do have tall tales to tell,
Tales of exploits, chivalry 
and adventures;
I...........
Someone from a passing car
yells out: "Hey, you look
good in your birthday suit!"


~Abdul Malik
"5 Minute Challenge": Lost


Details | Free verse | |

in the past

i just dont know what to expect anymore
all my memories filled with gore

please make them stop, please make them quit
i said no, but they could not resist
please forgive my sins, even i do not deserve this

how could you watch it happen with no protest 
please now, just put me to rest

i cannot take this for much longer
in the end will it really make me stronger

i have lost my faith, i have lost my hope
i no longer know how to cope 

its over now, i can reside in peace
its over now, my pain will cease


Details | Free verse | |

Victoria's Secret

I just so happen to know
This girl by the name of Victoria
One of my better friends, a better-than-ever friend
Ever since scraping my knee on the playground
In 2nd grade, sweet little Victoria came to my aid
And ever since, we've been the best of the best
Not a contest of who I would pick over the rest
But ever since high school, she began acting out to be cool
Acting more whore-ish
Piercing on her bottom lip
Random kissing in public
And I honestly had enough of it
Victoria and I then finally to conversate about it
I was curious about it, and hopefully could help out
But then those words came out: "My time's about to run out".
I was struck with confusion and worried to the fullest
Victoria's eyes start to water, my heart began to falter
Voice cracking, she uttered, "I have AIDS".
I could feel she was lost and afraid
Her feelings and emotions were spayed
And I was just as speechless as the next guy
Not knowing what to do, all I could do was try
And console her, be a friend and be there for her
She swore to me not to tell anyone
I accepted it, kept it, cause she's not just anyone
Things afterwards were very awkward
I wanted to tell someone but I didn't want to hurt her
My feelings were in the air
My words were filled with despair
My emotions wanted to keep quiet
But my heart felt the need to say it was dire
So I then told her parents, right in front of her
The way her eyes stared into my soul so coldly
I felt like I made the biggest mistake ever
But I perhaps lost my best friend's trust
Not very clever
The very next day, I spotted Victoria outside of school
I tried to talk to her to see if everything was still cool
Victoria then snapped and pulled a gun on me
My hands flew in the air
My stomach turned flips on me
My words stumbling and trembling, I tried to get her to reconsider
Her actions, pretty volatile, although I knew her reason for being bitter
As she lowered the gun from in front of my face
She got teary eyed again
Look at me with a smile, crying, said "I'm sorry"
In a split second, she turned the gun on herself
And off it went in her throat
As her body dropped to the ground
I dropped to my knees
I begged and I pleaded for help
But it came too late
Her blood covered my hands
Her death covered my heart
In a cloud of uncertainty
Regret, and extreme guilt
The flowers on her grave are the only tokens of expression
For how I felt, now that she's gone
Victoria's secret will never pass on...


Details | Free verse | |

Calls for Action

Calls for action
when love goes the opposite way,
don't you go and fly,
say to me and love too confused to smile or frown,
but you smile and go down;
to a place where the angels turn to demons
in a moment of time, it calls for action.
Don't go now, confused and sad, causing friction
in your down-spiral you call life,
it calls for action, when loves comes around.
Round one;
round two;
it's a doozy at round three,
by round four K.O.

Smile, at least you didn't die.
Take another slice of pecan pie.
Cherry for me please.
Surreal dreams cross through night air,
as you sit, a pillow case full of lost dreams and tears,
lost and dazed from morning stainless steel sunshine.
As, the macaroni burns on a hot stove,
the child laughs in a corner,
with toys, broken, liter the carpeted living room.

By Round five, they take you to the locker room,
give you smelling salt to wake you up,
bring you back to reality,
and to break the bad news that love and illusion had
won the match.
That, my friend, calls for serious action.
Buff up, and smile,
love snapped you like a twig, went on with your best friend,
and slapped your mother on the way out of the arena.
People are laughing, mocking, grinning;
the blues is eating you alive.
You sit there, tears of defeat streaming down your battered and bruised cheeks,
waiting for comfort, that no one will give.
That calls for action.
Don't wait.
Don't cry.
Don't doubt on what could of been...
because, there is no doubt that love is thinking about you like that.
You're alone in this great fight,
sure God is there, but he's not going to speak up for you.
Love another,
go on and roll with the punches.
Win over love,
and true love, not illusion, will follow.
but it all starts with,
The Calls for Action.

.6.8.2014.


Details | Free verse | |

The Dream

Falling, falling, falling
through the pitch black air.
My hand reaching out
for something that isn’t even there.
Now running, running, running
from the dark that seems to take
everything I love but leave everything I hate.
And slowly, slowly, slowly
I slowly start to die
because, to be honest, I have nothing left inside.
As I fall on my knees
the hollow ‘thud’ fills the air
But everyone around
Just stands there and stares
At the grand execution
of the outcast they call “The Witch”
As the hooded man
comes towards me with a switch
With the old, familiar sting
a tear surfaces in my eye
and as it slowly does continue
I slowly start to cry.
Then the figure pulls out his sword
and as, towards my head, he brings it down
I find myself crying
with His arms wrapped around
my violently quaking body
and then I silently did cry
“Why? What’s the point of it all? Oh, why?”
but then, very calmly, He does start to say
“Hey. Just look here. It’s gonna be okay.
You’ll never be alone as long as I’m right here.”
And then ‘it’ happened
The only thing I fear
I found myself alone, kneeling, clutching where he was
And I quickly grabbed the swinging sword
My eyes were closed because
I wanted them to feel
the pain that burned inside.
My head lifted up
to the unforgiving sky
and before the people could react
one of them screamed and then did shatter
and inside my brain
nothing really mattered.
The world around me broke
like the ballet mirrors
that I used to dance in front of
when I was young and had no fear.
Then I found myself
laying in my bed, alone
and inside I knew
that the fault was my own.


Details | Free verse | |

April Confusion

April happens
One out of twelve chances
That it has to come each year
And it always seems
To happen out
This way

The vast chance 
The ocean has 
To roll out over me
Is never unwasted,

And it finds my raw, used up hands
Swelling like cold water
Rising in distention
And falling like an exhale
In the deep

Puerto Rico delivers this to me
Upon anguishing fingertips
And I follow my love in the alley

There we share confusing breaths
That plunge us like thorns 
Into ourselves
Making us feel foreign

April finds me possessed 
In the reflection of my new heart’s smile
And whispering prayers 
That he might love me
And prayers that this drug
Won’t snuff me
As I’m trying to figure out
Why I want him this bad

But those pleas can’t help
But fall away 
As our smoky lungs make us
 tumble into
a dream, that food or drink
Can try to bear us through

My body becomes a claustrophobic cave
It’s hard to see, and it’s hard to breathe
And It’s hard not being terrified

Because my mouth is definitely stuck together
And my butter skin is slipping
And together we slip, we’re tripping
Into some oblivion
And I’m Hoping it might soon be over

Maybe then I’ll tell you
That I love you
And that I don’t want you to leave me
And that maybe 
You can save this life I’m risking
For a confusing moment next to you

God shaped my hollow heart 
To hope to not be empty

And yet April falls upon me
As indifferently as the weather tempers trees
Tearing branches with green spread leaves
Making anything that can be made to be 
From a loveless sun, a callous sea

This is how April’s tide tosses
its sleepy back to me

Though my bare chest breaks
As the dark night sways
There’s no more swaying I can do
I look to you.

Because, my star
My constant Spanish song
As long as I am strong
I will fall for those I love 

Even when
There are only empty alleys
To catch me


Details | Free verse | |

talk about shrinks

You know i want to talk about shrinks(therapist)specifically all the bull crap they cause.
All the lies they ever told about confidentiality and how they would be there in the worst
to hold your hand.They seemed like god cause they knew what youd say before you said it.They helped you put those bad thoughts in a box and lock them away,They were good at playing god and they liked it to.Too bring a women out of catatonia was a miracle.To protect a depressed individual from themselves made you a hero.
The key word in all this is you.You and i were chosen to meet back and forth in a tiny room with a sofa a shelf full of self help books and psychology. A clock that went tick tock tick tock from morning till noon.Here.Your questions went towards me. Your mind in the opposite direction.You had a happy four year old at home instead you were at work hearing people sob.
Sir did you need a psychology book to spell the word compassion.Three months from now youd have me fooled into thinking you were the one i could hold onto.And perhaps it seemed sometimes you did care.Flash forward ten years.I saw you in the grocery store the other day.You didnt even say hi and when i stopped you you had forgotten my name.Im no longer your patient but thats a shame.We spent  moments together. bonding and keeping secrets from parents and now this.It makes you feel as if  your in a room thats dark and cold.Then the darkness starts to suck you in and you can do nothing else not even slow it pulling you in.This is what alone is this is thyself


Details | Free verse | |

North Star

I'm lost
Can't find my way
Into
A brighter day
When I've 
Given up hope
You will 
Lead me home

You're my
north star in the night
You are
brighter than starlight
guide me 
Through all the hard times 
You are
brighter than starlight
brighter than starlight

I am
Lost out at sea
And I'm 
Slowly drowning (?)
Don't want 
To give up hope
Trying
To stay afloat

You're my
north star in the night
You are
brighter than starlight
guide me 
Through all the hard times 
You are
brighter than starlight
brighter than starlight

Guide me
To a new place
Help me
To find happiness
In the
Dark of the night
Shine with
All of your might 

You're my
north star in the night
You are
brighter than starlight
guide me 
Through all the hard times 
You are
brighter than starlight
brighter than starlight

These are lyrics to a song. If you wish to hear the background music it can be found by looking up Exordiar on YouTube. This is song #2.


Details | Free verse | |

At My Feet

I am lost in an ocean wave of reflection, a delicious place to be
How still I sit and look upon this paradise
All from a different time and place
Where shadow and substance
Become me

From the haunted places that call from within my dreams
My soul gently mixes with the sun and rain
In broken territories I cannot claim
Yet hidden in the grasses
I am redeemed

The world advances from the sorrow of its own eyes
With a tiny fist raised up in utter denial
Crying out "Do not wait for me"
Yet, I am lost in reflection
Hear me cry

Whose generosity bids the pulse of my own heart to beat
While I sit still and look upon this paradise
Why can I not claim these territories
Which lie here broken
At my feet


Details | Free verse | |

At Night


Inside me, only those
unfelt memories 
are coming, enveloping me
I feel open ,raw
Under a sheet 
Enticed to impossible senses 
overloading me
Undoing my armor
Breaking every tight
Intense secret,
Oh, my unravelling 
Hidden answers to
Everything kept inside
While over an unthinkable
Period always so evil,So intense,
pain overcomes me until morning
As light eases me, into releasing. 
Over,done until tonight


Details | Free verse | |

Stuck in a Rut

You say it's not fair

but why are you

in this moment

in this space

now?

 

Choices you make

is all it is

circumstance you say

and a higher power

the devil made you do it

 

the decision was yours

suck it up

take it like a man

or a woman 

 

are you here now

in leadership for

the wrong reason ?

 

burnt out you say

short vision

and blinkers on

is the trouble

more often than not

these days 

 

stuck in a rut?


Details | Free verse | |

Waiting

Waiting
Hoping
Not in the traditional way
Not in the way that sets the mind
And the heart up for a fall
I wait
I hope
For the unexpected good
For the sweetest surprise
For the seeming chaos
That will sort itself out to the calm

It's a flow
Like a leaning back on your favorite chair
Like the cool underside of a favourite pillow
Like just letting it all go
All the plans
All the schemes
All the strategies
All the techniques
All the estimations
All the wheeling and dealing

Could do with an expected good now
A brief glance
A slight smile
A chat 
A conversation lasting hours
A laugh
A silence
A flirt
A compliment

It is said that it is only when you give up your life
That is the time that you receive it fully
And so the paradox is
Then maybe expect nothing
And open the self to everything

My body is tired tonight
My mind is worn
My heart is slightly troubled
But I dare not sleep yet
I have to get this out 
Whatever it is 
Had no idea what it would be when it started
Still I have no idea what it will be w