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Free Verse Humorous Poems | Free Verse Poems About Humorous

These Free Verse Humorous poems are examples of Free Verse poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Free Verse Humorous poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

To all the heart-breakers- -a ZOMBIE valentine poem-

Wouldn't you rather~

Wouldn't you rather~ be dead?
Maybe shoot yourself in the head?
Over my dead body, I would never want to be a zombie like you.
The sight of your limbs are rotten all the time.
Sorry that the sight of you looks like a 3 legged swine.
So go ahead and do us a all favor, 
hide and stash yourself away from all your neighbor. 
I think i'd rather have my eyes stuck with glue
So I won't have to look at you
When it comes to family friends, you ain't got none.
Your always gonna be called the lonely retarded one.
Who could ever love a face like yours.
not even your mother can see pass your gore's 
No need for privacy when you pee
Go ahead and take a leak and drown yourself in the sea.
Don't think for one second you are irresistible 
Love making with a zombie is impossible.

Wouldn't you rather be dead?
maybe shoot yourself in the head

The time to kill yourself is at hand.
Slicing your wrist is what we recommend.  
Cut off your tongue, don't want to hear you squeal.   
Blood all over, your face is no big deal
A sword or machete will only pick up the pace
I wanna see your guts pop out your mid-waist 
Contaminated objects is a must
Anything to remove your face of disgust.
The easy part is the best
Once you are gone we will all feel blessed,
The flaw of your existence  
Is what keeps us all in distance 

Wouldn't you rather be dead?
maybe shoot yourself in the head

Close your eyes and die
No one wants to hear you cry
You said you wanted to be loved
believe me~ your better off unloved
I say go do yourself off
Anyways you've always had it rough...
Go ahead and scream
This is not a dream
Now see how you make me feel
All I want is for you to end your ugly ordeal.
I will praise this day of course
Knowing soon you'll be a rotting corpse.

happy valentine ~ TO: All My DEADBEAT X-es from Texas..

Details | Free verse | |

Bah Bah Black Sheep I Am Slamming You Nathan D

Bah Bah Black Sheep I Am Slamming You Nathan D 

I know you think you’re so tough with your words in the rough 
You keep your poems tucked in underwear and you won’t share  
Let me tell you Lil Bub my attitude is BIG, so here’s de rub,  
I’m going to scratch you like a cat 
When you come close for de pat;  
And Yo! God got no ears, 
For your small condensed tears;
Next time you lash your tongue and whip, you cum on wit no hip 
Bah bah black sheep, you ain’t gonna pull de wool off me pip
I like to mentally infuriate you 
And yes I like my milk fat free 
Yeh I got you’re number you 
And no I ain’t sniffin no glue 
It is called “SLAM POETRY”
And as for keeping your poetry all to yourself, well go to hell 
Where the devil will give you a pitchfork, dig what you can’t sell!
Cause I ain’t digging me no hole for empty air 
So fork it out Nathan D, lay out bare, 
Cuz I’m not muckin with you just for fun, I think you Rock 
Like third rock from the sun
I like you’re quip, you son of a gun! 

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Turkey so dry that I can’t speak Brussel sprouts boiled for a week Roast potatoes burnt to a crisp Lumpy gravy I feel Sick Jan Allison 26th October Inspired by Andrea’s contest but not written for it!

Details | Free verse | |


Roses are red Violets are blue I’m up for a quickie Do you fancy one too? 13th February 2015

Details | Free verse | |



There you go again little Sly fox P.D.
Another game of tag and jeopardy.
Clever, clever, little fox so bloodthirsty.
Chaos roams through your veins of liberty.
You walk the ground, prancing around your hostility.
Marching down with the dignity of mis-guided anarchy.

I'm gonna hunt you smell end it well.
Hang you up from your trophy tail. 
Kiss your night one last farewell.
By morning dawn your foxy tail,
Won't live another tale to tell.

I'm gonna find ya' ~ pull your hideout from where you hide.
Smack you around in your everyday rebellious ways.
Thinking you can defeat my crowd with your lawlessness..
I don't need no hounds to track your unlivable Holy-mess.
You created a selfish character of kindness for the blindness.
You prey on the sheep's and linger on their wall of hopelessness. 
Your sinfulness grew from the boldness, and bitterness, 
Of growing up parent-less.
My dear Sly Fox are you on alert with your ears of nobleness.
Did you not hear me creeping while you were sleeping.

Sly fox the destroyer!

You are right, you are a mischievous game of hunt!
My trap is set and waiting for you by the river front.
Go ahead, take a drink, pull one last obnoxious stunt.
Run and run, as fast as you can!
You can't out run this one game of Skitty Skat fox hunt.....


Details | Free verse | |



Good morning World.

Damn you!
and your warm
sunray fingers
prying open my eyes.

Robbing me of my
nocturnal fantasies,
my semiconscious bliss.

Leaving the remnants
of my peace 
and tranquillity
laying scattered across
my face and through
my hair.

Your rising light
shrinking the shadows
of my freedom.

I will not be seduced
by your clear blue promises.

For your pressing realities
already taste foul
in my mouth.

Leave me Morning
to my diminishing serenity.

I have performed this piece and it shows on you tube (I hope this works, if not try copying to your address bar):

Details | Free verse | |


Some folks call me a sausage dog I think they couldn’t be meaner It’s not my fault I’m long and short And look like a misshapen wiener I’ve got four stumpy little legs So my tummy is near to the ground My owner’s take me for a drag not a walk Guess that's why they named me Cigarette! 01~16~15 Contest: Dachshunds – Rob Carmack ~awarded 9th place~

Details | Free verse | |

The Honey Diet

Anytime I feel hungry instead of eating a full meal I eat Honey. The best part is that Honey doesn't mind, she's a sweetheart. Maurice Yvonne 20~11~2014 The Refrain I bought a box of Animal Crackers. On the box it said "Do not eat if seal is broken" So I opened the box. I looked inside and sure enough... The Encore If a parsley farmer doesn't pay his bills can they garnish his wages? Closing Remarks There is a new virus. It has no symptoms and no consequences. I am terrified. It turns out I have been diagnosed with it. I am not a hypochondriac. I really do have it. If you don't believe me ask my Gynecologist! Maurice Yvonne 11~20~2014

Details | Free verse | |

Getaway Vacation

"Baby, this view is fantastic, 
Who knew what you could buy with plastic! 
With these credit cards, unlimited funds, 
Any regrets, heck no, baby I got none. 
Riding on an interest rate of twenty percent, 
Who cares, this is money well spent!" 
Says the thief who stole my purse from the rest stop location, 
One of the many tales of my no good, horrible road trip vacation. 
Riding down I-seventy five, heading to Mackinaw Island for a getaway, 
Me and my best boy beside me, taking an adventure, oh what a day. 
Construction just north of Detroit, that scary van is stopped to our right. 
Keeping my legs crossed, I might wet myself, will that be alright. 
He gives me a smile with a crooked left tooth and a wave with two fingers 
Push the gas pedal quick, the filthy dirty looks he is giving on me lingers. 

Put the pedal to the metal and off we go, not slowing down for no one 
Riding high in my seventy-three coupe de vile, the fun has just begun 
Didn't see that State Trooper hiding behind that sign, just past Auburn Hills 
Tried to out gun him with my 405, but he caught us just past the old mills 
"Son you are in a heap of a mess, speeding like Ricky Bobby in Talladega 
Two choices, let me have a spin with your gal or I'll haveta read you your 
After twenty minutes, we sped off not even looking in the rear view mirror 
Our vacation destination of Mackinaw Island was getting closer and clearer. 
It was smooth sailing, so we thought, as the night was getting dark. 
Find a hotel bed soon baby, we all are angst we missed our mark. 
The sign said two miles to Holiday Inn, But it’s already been nine. 
Comin’ up on us now is a big yellow Dead End road sign. 
Down this dirt road we skimming across freshly grated dirt. 
Could stop fast enough, deer crossing, don’t worry none got hurt. 

Baby this ride is exciting 
That’s what I’m supposed to be sayin’ 
But with my crosses on my neck, 
All these issues, dang I’m just prayin’ 
Ridin’ seventy five, with the wind in our hair. 
I don’t care how we do it, baby just get us there. 

Finally arrived in Mackinaw City, getting ready to board Shepler's Ferry
The line was long, the lake waves were high, we were saying Hail Mary's
The winds picked up, the skies drew dark. a storm had come without warning
The ferry turned around, couldn't go there now, not until the next morning.

We stayed in a run down, worn out cabin on the edge of the great lakes 
Wondering why these vacations always turn out to bring mistakes. 
But then I look in your eyes and you look deeply into my mine. 
And i know no matter where we go or what we do, everything turns out just 

Vacation Humor Contest

Details | Free verse | |


The fire brigade are on standby With their hoses in their hand For today it is my birthday My birthday cake is on a stand There are so many candles It is a health and safety risk So be ready with the hoses guys And make sure you get here quick! 25th January 2015

Details | Free verse | |


I hear the doorbell ring and I rush to answer it The heavy wooden door creaks and squeaks and groans My face is a ghostly white, you can only just see my eyes and mouth The children scream loudly and drop their bags of sweets in fright Terrified they flee down the path not pausing to look back I grab their sweets and quickly slam the door I dash to the bathroom Twenty minutes is up and its time to wash off my face pack Hee hee hee it works every year Jan Allison 5th October 2014

Details | Free verse | |



I was older      she was so young      I was stupid
But I was helpless      she flirted      threw me a smile
Oh, poor me      I melted      that look
That long, black hair      that perfume
Those eyes      that perfect bod      I was so lonely
No one understood me      oh, poor me
Didn’t like my job      job paid so well though
Wife left me      I started drinking
Smoked like a chimney      watched porn
Had such fantasies      why did she say yes?
Expensive dinner      wasn’t that good
And that necklace      money getting short
She called me sugar daddy      oh, poor me
She was such a flirt      she loved all men
Age didn’t matter      she has a new car
I paid for it      then I really was broke
Had to move      sold everything      she said, get lost
Lost my job      flop house was bad      
Cardboard box is worse      oh, poor, poor me
Old women shun me      dogs and cats shun me
Do I deserve this?      Oh well
That roach wasn’t bad      no bones

Dave Austin

Details | Free verse | |

In My Professional Opinion

I stare at all the stars in the sky 
Like everlasting snowflakes 
No two are alike  
I wonder what god was thinking  
 Maybe they are just his 
Guidance and comfort 
Seeping through 
I look all the trees 
Wonder how many can there be 
Think about insects 
Their number and variety is bigger 
Then my ability to pronounce 
This must be gods 
Overactive imagination
Seeping through 
I watch my fellow humans
And all they are capable of 
Masters of both hate and love 
The material and physical 
And how they love to create 
I have come to the conclusion 
That this is all an allusion 
To god having O.C.D. 
Probably has multiple personalities 
And the devil 
Is just his paranoid schizophrenia 
Seeping through

Details | Free verse | |


Oh why oh why don't you clean your room I wish I had heeded my mother’s words For I’m sure many a mother has said this to their child But fate intervened and the dust still hasn’t settled - In fact I’ve not spoken to my mother for over a week Last weekend I met the man of my dreams – James Tall, dark and oh so handsome, like a young George Clooney His number was etched in the thick layer of dust on the dresser My mother took matters into her own hands She decided to dust and tidy my room HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME! His number is erased forever - I have no way of contacting him Guess I have learned a VERY valuable lesson NEXT time I meet someone … I will write his number in my diary! 25th February 2015 Fictional write for the Gathering Dust’ Contest - John Lawless

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Call me cynical Has anyone else noticed ……. All of a sudden The price of flowers and chocolates Rockets skywards high towards heaven Oh silly me its nearly Valentines Day! 12th February 2015

Details | Free verse | |

this noisy head i live in

this noisy head i live in
it just never quiets down
theres some motherf#@ker screaming at two am
about some unpaid bills or parking tickets
and some other idiot going on and on about some girl that left
somebody is allways throwing trash out in the common area
little bits of some ancient relationship
small parts of some old mystery
just want to tell em all ''will you all please shut up"
stop that godawful freakin racket
some fool on the roof shouting poetry just when your drifting off to sleep
another idiot in the basement throwing monkey wrenches in the works
always somebody causing some kind of ruckus
just want to scream
"can we PLEASE get some peace and quiet for five minuets"
this crazy head i live in
i want to move
to some nice quiet country house
where you never hear a sound
peaceful with birds chirping
where i can get some rest
not this confounded noisy head i live in
not this apartment building of lunatics i call a mind

Details | Free verse | |

The Elephant in the Room

3 polished oak fans,
Swirling in robotic unison

High maintenance socialites,
Sipping on Merlot fallacies

Lemon yellow coated walls,
Like their smiles

Comparisons of dangling Porsche & Bentley keys
A glorified day care center,
Pacifiers included

The muted virtuosos speak softly in hymn dialects.

Courtesy laughter in snob’s octave

Their heads twitching side to side,
Left to right to left

An equilibrium facing assault charges against self

They slow dance to cello dreams
And E minor dividends

Two-step monotone, sway
Against platinum lacquer foundations


But, it was then.

These same socialites,
Made of recycled candle wax
And rubberized, hedge-fund confidence,
Began to stare longingly at the party host’s 70 inch plasma TV

Proudly imported from China

“Attention uptight snobs of Mecca!
The city zoo has imploded!
The monkeys revolted!
The zebras were tired of being racially profiled!
Run for your LIV…!”

And before the reporter’s frightened inner child could finish’s his clause,
An elephant crashes into the decadent room
Filled with Crisp linen scents of Febreze & judgmental fear

It stares at the socialites,
Laughing heartedly as it playfully stomps away into constellation’s onyx night

As tears waterfall from the snobs’ sobbing eye sockets
As if they just listened to another Celine Dion song

The real newsflash

Metaphors played hooky today

©Drake J. Eszes

Details | Free verse | |

Gina the toilet cleaner

They call her big Gina
You'd know if you seen her
She is a toilet cleaner
She wears a white smock
Armed with bucket and a mop
She likes to keep things clean
And is a real scrubber
If you know what I mean
She whistles as she goes
With disinfectant wafting under her nose
She replaces toilet rolls
And cleans the toilet bowls
She really loves her job
She has a cat called Doris
And a husband called Bob
Her job is dirty and often smelly
She has a tattoo of a toilet on her belly
At the end of the day
She puts her mop and bucket away
Goes home and has a shower
Then cleans the house within half an hour
Her husband makes her mad
Leaving the toilet seat up
She puts toilet water in his cup
Of tea to sup
She has a daughter called Pru
She dreams of being a toilet cleaner too
She doesn't care about the smell of poo
Just her dream comes true
We should all appreciate toilet cleaners
Just like big Gina.

''Warning! Toilet water in tea. please do not try at home.
 could be dangerous and doesn't taste nice''.

Peter Dome.copyright.2014. Aug.

Details | Free verse | |

a really bad love poem

when you're in love you write really bad love poetry when you love a woman you want to relive with her every great moment you ever had both of them. clouds look like hearts, and a few look like ducks you know, quack, quack ducks. if you love someone, you walk into the wrong house you stain your tie during lunch you walk into people (a big guy peoples, he's not happy you run...really fast) to a man in love roses look perfect even if they're tulips ...sorry honey. you build a white picket fence with the pickets wrong side up when you love someone you take out the trash from someone else's house when you love someone you quit your job as a superhero you get rid of your trusty sidekick you give away your bat mobile you give your arch nemesis the bad news. you write goofy stuff, and mickey stuff too. i'm in love so i write really bad love poetry really? really! really? really, i'm in love, so sue me!

Details | Free verse | |

Beg Your Pardon

Here’s a short story of a cowboy I knew
Whose name was Beg Your Pardon.
He wasn’t a gun slinger in the usual way,
Though his hands were fast
And his foots were faster.
But when Beg started shootin’
There was nuthin’ but disaster.

No worries for Beg, he had none you see,
Since he wasn’t a slinger in the usual way.
But his pappy got ugly
And yelled in his son’s face,
 “Until you can shoot
As the son of mine should,
I want you the h*** out of my place.”

Beg had some tricks up his very long sleeves,
Coz he wasn’t a slinger in the usual way.
He’d show his pappy his skill
There’s no doubt about that.
Yet time was a-wasten
So Beg he did hasten,
But first he took off his hat.

He then wound up his body like a Kansas twister
And slung a cow pie in his usual way.
And broke every record
Did our cow pie ringer.
Since there was no one better,
Pappy exclaimed to his son,
“Beg Your Pardon, I beg your pardon
Heck, you’re some kinda’ slinger!”
For Wild Wild West Contest

Details | Free verse | |

Elvira And The Pillow

A true story....

Well I lived in Sioux City for a little while
Another job site, hubby and I have covered some miles

While there, my mother in law came to visit
She drove Elvira, the biggest Buick ever made
No doubt about it!

I drove mom around to see the highlights
If you've been there, you know there's nothing but corn in sight

Suddenly the cars in front of us started to slow
Wondering which way around this pillow they needed to go

Well some went left and some went right
Some straddled over it and seemed alright

Mom said baby, it will be OK
Just drive right over it
Elvira won't notice anything in her way

I lined up perfectly and over we went
Thought I'd made it until visions were sent
Into the rear view mirror of down floating everywhere
And it wasn't pleasant!

I could see people on the sidewalks laughing, I pretended not to care
As millions of feathers floated through the air

Really embarrassed I drove on about one hundred feet
Then Elvira stopped dead right there in the street

Somehow the drive train had caught the cotton cover
Ripping it to shreds, wrapping it round and round so tight
Until it killed the engine dead

Now I know God works in mysterious ways
But He proved it for sure this very day

In a parking lot next to where Elvira had died
Was a complete race car driver's pit crew - no lie!

An 18 wheeler with trailer in tow
Guys dressed in uniforms, patches aglow 

With traffic backing up behind us
They came over to see what was all the fuss

I said spitting feathers out of my mouth
I really don't know, I'm from down south

They opened their trailer and out came the jacks
Air hoses and tools, they got down on their backs

From under the car I heard laughter and jokes
They'd seen cars stopped by everything but a pillow!

Well I thanked them and shook each and every hand
They wouldn't accept money, said the entertainment was grand
I often wonder who they were and if they remember Elvira and the pillow in Iowa land....

©Donna Jones

Details | Free verse | |



Do you ever get the feeling that inanimate objects are talking to you?
Sometimes I do, not often, but sometimes.

Like trees that seem to be murmuring in an unknown language 
somehow suggesting a meaning to me.

And clouds when billowed tell me of some distant place I haven't visited. 
They display portly faces that look strangely familiar and seem to mouth 
broken words.

Once I heard running water in a stream ripple in nomadic sounds, it told me 
the secrets of how to go with the flow. 

Flowers often, when in full bloom gossip and say "look at me, aren't I beautiful?"
But when dying cry out say "I was younger then, but now I'm old and frail!"

It seems when picking out socks to wear, I imagine them vying for my attention.
Pick me.. no pick me. And when I do, feel a little guilty that I didn't pick the other.

Once I took out and put back pliers from my tool holder on the wall. One cried out to me saying that I shouldn't put it so close to the other one (considered far inferior). And of course, the screwdrivers made it known that Phillips do not belong with Flatheads.

Should it be, do I have to endure these insults to my sensibilities?
As I said, sometimes.

Details | Free verse | |

The Glass

Thrice I was asked the age old question
Was the glass half full or half empty
Always afraid of a trick, I could not make sense of the axiom
The possibility of either did make me think plenty.

One day two friends came and filled a glass to the brim
I took my own, curious, I filled mine halfway
Not to boast, but I smiled, and made a grin
I asked of them the same question to let them say.

Both were concerned and afraid of my disorder
I drank, drained the glass, and put back in the sink
I finally made a decision & my mind was in order
I saw it as both, neither, and a tool from which to drink!

You see, I always saw optimism naïve as half full
Pessimism it is always half empty and no fun
Realism it is just a glass and the question is null
Opportunism is to use the glass first so my thirst is undone.

the Opportunist

Copyright 3/11/14

Details | Free verse | |

If I Were A Rich Girl

If I were a rich girl I’d spend all my money on chocolate truffles 
Then I’d melt them down in a big old fashion claw tub and bathe 
For hours on hours, in warm chocolate suds mmmmmmmmmmm

If I were a rich girl I’d buy me a jet and fly over Paris’s gardens 
Then I’d buy oodles of lipsticks of every shade at Champs Elysee 
Write love letter to my Dovey with Baton Rouge Crème Veloutin 

If I were a rich girl I’d buy 10 Karat gold rimmed thongs, on sale 
Then I’d go to the beach south of France and swim with the whales
For days on end I’d bum around the bars and do winks to the boys

If I were a rich girl, I’d buy me a real big Panda Bear off the zoo 
Together we’d scuba dive in the blue hole of Belize, tickle the fish 
Until they sneeze, now that is what I would do if I were a rich girl 

Oh, and if there is any money left, well then, I’d buy me a bit o fur 
With the remaining dollars, I’d buy me a real cat that loves to purr 
So in the winter when I have no cash, we’ll cuddle and go brrrrrrr!

The End 
February 2, 2015-02-02

Details | Free verse | |

The Birth

Your presence within my sphere
Is utterly enlightening and true
It is nice to realize the blessings of life
Are the very words you engrave on my heart

I trust your heart is filled with gladness
Supported with positivity and gain
Terrestrial rains sh*t glitter at me
As bursts of chuckles saturate my brain

I am moved by a humorous plight
Of words flying like heroine-addicted chickens
Clucking and pecking at Charles Dickens

I have become this nonsensical buffoon
As my pride rises like an off-brown balloon
Only to deflate in a fit of guffaws and mirth

Ever since you appeared on this earth
There was an unexpected birth

Details | Free verse | |

The Winter Blues

Inside it is nice and warm,
cuddled up alone in my warm bed,
sheets and covers smother me,
as soft pillows rest my heavy head.

Outside the white, soft snow comes falling down hard,
blowing in from the north, south, east and west
and the wind picks up, as it makes a high pitch howl,
as a ghost would do when trying to strike fear into someone.

Inside so warm,
outside it is so cold,
Inside filled with sweet dreams,
and outside filled with cold, soft, white nightmares.

Soon, the alarm goes off and wakes me from a cozy slumber,
as I hit the "SNOOZE" button and straighten myself from bed;
I walk over to my window and rub my eyes and can't believe my eyes.
Snow, snow, snow, snow, snow, snow- and more snow!
White pillows of snow everywhere,
on the leafless trees, the branches covered with snow and ice.
I open my window for some fresh air,
and the air is too thin to breath, and the wind hits me in the face
and cold burns my face with a chilling sting!

I shut my window- as I look at my bed,
temptations of jumping back in and warming back up
all cross my mind,
but sadly it was only Wednesday and no call-off for school,
so I guess I'll go shovel the snow out of the driveway,
warm the car up and get ready to go learn.


Details | Free verse | |

Meteorological Migraine

There’s rain in my brain,
A pitter patter on the old grey matter,
Cats and dogs in the cerebral cogs,
A shower dampening my mental power.
There’s precipitation in my imagination,
A cloud collision in my vision,
A deluge in my centrifuge,
A tidal surge has overwhelmed my optimistic urge,
A tsunami is rampaging through my spiritual harmony,
A lighting strobe just struck my frontal lobe.
There’s a vortex in my cortex,
An eddy in my heady,
A blizzard in my gizzard,
Hail in my vapour trail,
Sleet on my feet,
Snow on my big toe
Making me feel low.

I’ll pop a pill and rest my head
Upon a bed of feather
And when I wake I’m hoping
For bright eyes and better weather.

Details | Free verse | |

World Cup 2014

Pain in Spain
Bland England
Shame in the game
Who do you blame
When your approach is lame
Three lions or three blind mice?
I wonder

Details | Free verse | |

- Finally - The Holiday Is Over -

   Children screaming and yelling 
   The sweat drips from my forehead 
   Time was short we lost the plane 
   I'm tired 
   New line - through customs and passport control 
   Next we fly stacked like sardines in a box 
   All are miserable and kaputt 
   The night has come and we finally arrived 
   The baggage is lost - no clean underpants 
   Some cry and some are mean 
   Youngest child has peed in his pants 
   I argue with my wife 
   Have a beer 
   Mosquitoes are annoying and they bite 
   The sun glows from a cloudless sky 
   It's awful hot 
   Finally, the holiday is over 
   Next year I will take time off from vacation 

   * Not from reality  :))

   A-L Andresen :)

Details | Free verse | |

My First Airplane Ride

Well there I was twenty or so and never been in an airplane just so happened two new friends of mine, were pilots

With many hours logged time after time

They even had an airplane of their own, which they had just flown over my house

Get off your butt, come have some fun, let us see one of your smiles!

So I climbed into this pop can with wings, anxious as the engine started to sing

Down the runway and up we go, the lump in my stomach started to show

But as I started to look around at the patchwork of beauty on the ground

I began to enjoy this soaring through the air, just looking around

Then these two ornery buddies of mine, looked at each other and grinned

I asked OK what are you up to? Oh nothin' just taking you for a spin

They turned and went low down over the lake, well OK this is kinda pretty

But they knew one wing was out of gas and soon would sputter, spit and quit!

Well needless to say when the engine stopped, I went all white in the face

They said, don't worry sweetheart we're OK, we can glide her in all the way

In? In where? The lake? You didn't ask if I could swim!

They had planned this (joke) for me for quite some time

Wanted me to always remember my first airplane ride

After a few seconds they switched the tanks and started her back up

Up, up and away we went back to the clouds above

I don't know if they cured my fear of flying or made it worse

But, I can tell ya some time later - swoosh swoosh - I hear 

As I took my very first helicopter ride!

©Donna Jones

Details | Free verse | |

im back

Stand back 
Here comes the hurricane
The storm is worst then a earthquake 
Ima gas planet like Jupiter & saturn
Sufficication no life just toxic gas 
Blow u to pieces 
It's so interesting 
Reachin for me is like reachin the stars in the solor system
U'll never get to me son
Think twice before u wanna try me
The size of Tyson
Gorilla in the mountin
I dominate this with out fear
I'm better then most u hear
Hate the truth 
I don't give a ****
I'm not the type to smile about *****
I'm smart I osverb the poetry,biology,philosophy,history & literature 
I mind **** so many people
It's like a video game I'm playing with my brain
I go off like I'm on speed
I'm so crazy in the brain 
I can't stay normal
I puff good green 
To keep my head good 
Most of ya wack 
Ya fake take the make up off
I'll spray u with the hose proudly 
Ima problem child 
No one can touch me
U couldn't be me if u took Notes & did research
Ya talk too much like ya was the broadcasters on the news
I'm far from the sun
But I have a heated temper
The flame I leave on the mic it can't be out out 
Call the fire department
It ain't gonna do any good
The savage poet on the loose
Taking mc's out 
Eating em out like oral sex
As long it don't stink ima eat u out the frame 
Ya like on the breakfast menu
Put u in the cementary 
U forgot I'm the grave digger
I dig graves for fun
Most of ya dig ya own graves
Talking about money cars & hoes
It's annoying 
Its having a Knat in ya ear while u sleep
Ya niggas stupid most of ya belong in special ed
The graves I dug
I show no remorse
I'll continue I'm iller then a bad cold
Cough it up u like swallowed hair
Inhale the good *****
Never the doo doo type
U style is lame u sad go to the circus 
Marry the beard lady
U envy me like the rest
I'm slick 
I can scoop a lesbian turn that ***** inside out 
Niggas hate on me I know they don't like me
Ya niggas are ugly it's like u got scraped with a fork 
Sit down 
Watch the king at his best 
I can take many sittin on the throne that's how ill I am
Take em out no competition 
Booyaka it's gettin real 
It's scary the nightmare on elm street
Coming for u in ur dreams 
**** Freddy Krueger 
I'm the true grim reaper when it come to takin souls
Take u out Ur misery 
U a kid in a growns mans world
Ur breath smells like ass & fish 
Take the mic from ya ur skills is dry 
Buy a toothbrush mouthwash and a pack of gum
I'll put u in the graveyard
Dig ur grave 
Dress u up with ur hands crossed with ur eyes open
Ain't it terrifying 
Sign my name on ur casket
Put u in the dirt put u 6ft under
Ur gone ur forgotten
Goodnight sleep in piss *****
Wack niggas wanna be down with the j
But my circle is small 
Sometimes I don't roll with em
Ya Niggas closet fags
Stay on my dick keeping my name in ya mouth why
What ya in love 
**** off i ain't into that 
Going off like I was in Vietnam fighting Vietcong 
Beating my chest like King Kong before he fought the t-Rex
I'll kill ya lawyers
U soft u wouldn't hurt a fly
U talk a good game 
U a motor mouth
****ing with me
Ima cobra ima spit venom right at u
Watch u shake screamin louder then a chick
Goons always got em on dial 
Latin kings don't get it ****ed up
I'm nasty as a mold growing in a corner in a bathroom(eww)
**** that 
Worse then a bushy pussy with a fowl smell(gasp)
What's gets worst then that
I can think of many 
My mind is like a computer 
The power is on
I'm full of energy 
I said enough I feel I'm done
Adios I'm ghost I killed it enough

Details | Free verse | |

The Great Potato Mash Up

Like a good Canadian boy
I love taters from PEI
So I got myself an idea

Filled my truck
A '67 Chevy
Tons of taters 
(dollar signs in my head)

Sounding like a beast
Driving down the highway
Gears slipping
Brakes squealing like always

In Ontario
Busiest Highway in Canada

Now my story 
Gets weird

I hit a
Slippery spot
Spinning and spinning

Slam into a milk truck
And we both slam into a 
Delivery truck
Filled with butter

Taters flinging everywhere

Cars skidding
Crashing smashing mashing
Spinning swishing fluffing

Road closed

A Great Wall
Mashed Potatoes

I went to a Policeman    
And asked him
"What do we do now?"

He turned to me 
With a grin and said

"Got a fork?"

© 2013 Rick Zablocki?"

Details | Free verse | |

Going Halloween Crazy


~Ronald McDonald~
Army of darkness
Agony tears of a clown
Creepy kid smiles 
Everyday is Halloween

Rejection outlay
Spell-caster demon terror 
Bloody murder at the fingertips 

Ivory mountain grave
Skeleton terror of doom 
Where's the buffalo? 
Indian masquerade 

Sky full of beasts
Relevant nights of velvet
Entwine by her bliss
Elvira the night mistress 


Details | Free verse | |

Behind the Selfies

I have a very brief confession
that I have to make.
It's about the selfies 
and it'll make you break.

I only wear glamorous tops 
during my homemade shots,
Since bottoms aren't seen
And only the face is on screen.

I give all my efforts
In putting some makeups
Just to look pretty on my selfie
And wrote on it -- hashtag no makeup.

I put on my lipsticks
And do the sexy duck face,
Then captioned the output with bible quotes
Though it doesn't relate.

Mom wondered
Why I locked myself in my room.
Oh please, I was just doing a selfie
and surprisingly came out well groomed.

Details | Free verse | |

Turtles Talking Smack

Turtle Tom and Turtle Tony were walking across a grassy field
knowing that their hard shells would protect them from most harm.
Their natural enemies in rural Arkansas number only three.
The mighty cougar and its cousin the wily bobcat
have the jaw strength to crush a turtle’s shell.
The only other critter that presents an ever present danger
is a very determined and extremely hungry raccoon.
Rocco Raccoon with his sharp teeth and dexterous front paws
can, if really famished, eventually crack a turtle’s harden shell.
The greatest of the turtles’ enemies is a careless human being,
whether it be from a swiftly moving vehicle or a nut with a gun.
With the off road vehicles getting larger as time goes by,
a turtle’s life expectancy gets shorter as the decades pass.
Turtle Tom and Turtle Tony slowly caught up with Turtle Tim
and the trio of tiny smack talking tortoises told one another
tall tales of great conquests from their long lived pasts.

Details | Free verse | |

The barnacle on my bum

She was a barnacle on my bum
Following me around town
getting jealous if I talked to another girl
even if they were 91.

I didn't want to hurt her
because she was so sweet
But every time I turned around
she'd be there on the street
Some times she used to frighten me
I'd have nightmare in bed at night
She was like a heat seeking missile
and she had me in her sites.

She had lips like Mick Jagger
and was always kissing me
And all because I complimented her once
and bought her a cup of tea
Now she's besotted
and wants to marry me. 

I can't see what she sees in me
I try to avoid her like the plague
I was scared to leave the house
But had to and be brave.

I had to always be on the watch
Like a hunting cat
be as agile as a ballerina
and as stealthy as a rat.

But then she found a boyfriend
I was happy as can be
Because he now had a barnacle on his bum
Phew! and  not me.

Peter Dome.copyright.2014.march.

Details | Free verse | |

A euphemistic dinner conversation on idioms

Avoiding The unpleasantries of the Barbarians At The Gate                                                 It is over there, for they thought they had Found The Golden Grail                                      Wandering The Elysian Fields  looking for a needle in a haystack                                       living in an ivory tower. Look a lounge lizard.                                                                   Out to lunch,  A Few Sandwiches Short of a picnic                                                              I am Eating light downsizing So not to get a Few Extra Pounds                                           Let's change the subject seriously though                                                                        as serious as myocardial infarction                                                                                   sketchy but I see through the ploy like a glass table                                                          Did you hear, maybe you are hard of hearing it is all smoke and mirrors                             Poltics Maybe, How about The war on euphemism                                                              It’s Just Politics that is a “overly simplistic guarantee                                                         sweeping generalizations that can be contradicted by individual experiences                   accurate…not precise enough. He didn’t say anything wrong. That was true.                        Excuse me did you say something touche not touching that                                             Yes, the mock euphemism over your head                                                                        Let's talk about religion then like the apple of my eye                                                    Truth is stranger than fiction Pass the salt of the earth, please                                            eat, drink and be merry not a doubting Thomas                                                                 Did you hear about the wolf in sheep's clothing                                                                 Why are you bringing up poly-ticks again I guess, a leopard can't change its spots          A heavy purse makes a light heart.You get the checks and balances, I will pick up the tab

Details | Free verse | |

We're number one

Another week has come and gone
The TV’s playing; the game's just coming on
They pound their chests and drink their beer
Waiting for game time to shout and cheer
All the rounds of drinks they've pored
Their team has won; a victory scored
The fans go wild; scream “we’re number one”
When in fact not a thing they've done
Another week now come and gone
The TV’s playing; the game is on
Another round of drinks they've pored
Their team has lost; no victory scored
You hear not a call; no screams, or shout
They’ll win again they have no doubt 
Another week, another game, another score
Another round of drinks they’ll pore

Details | Free verse | |

Driving of a busy mind on a busy road

One hand on steering The other hand steering beloved's knee, One ear on cell phone, The other ear listening to loud music, One foot on accelerator, The other on the brake. Eyes on female pedestrians, If a waving hand is seen for a lift Stop the car, pile up freely The more, the merrier Conversation with someone in the car Well I declare, welcome to India!
+++ September 8, 2014 Form: Free Verse Dr. Ram Mehta First Place Win Contest: Where I Declare by Judy Konos

Details | Free verse | |

Three Inch Cliches

The Soul is the Beautiful Light of Love
Shining like the sun through the 
As the reader, I’m going to have to cut you off there.
Here’s a metaphor for you…
Reading is ****ing.
And your words hit our auditory canals
Like a hotdog down a hallway.
As an experienced reader, I’m after 
The virgin vernacular 
The aphrodisiac aphorism
You know- the big… black words
You feel me?
Because a line is a flashlight, exposing the world’s nudity-
And we’ll never get anywhere shining it in the same spot.
So kiss me with classy couplets
Smack my assonance!
Bring me to the climax-
And we’ll share a smoke together,
Warm beside the fire of your Three Inch Clichés.

Details | Free verse | |

A Narrow Escape in the Coffee Shop

In the coffee shop
A mistimed twist
By the barista
Caused a hissing
Coffee jet to
Ballista towards
My sister and I
Worried it would
Hit her wrist and
Give her a blister,
But fortunately
It missed her.

The manager scolded
The ham-fisted barista,
But since no-one was scalded,
He didn’t dismiss her.

Details | Free verse | |

Grandma Was Dancing

She was a tappin' to the tunes...
of those Mississippi blues...
step-pin' out, in her white...
Pat-en-leather shoes,

We were a watchin' her a prancin',
all through the kitchen, dancin'...
for she was & sizzlin'...
hummin' to those Mississippi tunes...

Funny curlers too, upon...
her head...for a new... Hair dew,...
she was, a swirlin'-in that bakers apron,
when her a bobbin' to...
those Mississip-pi blues,

'Pots were a knockin'...
Grandma a sockin' down all she brews,
while that kettle there was whistlin',
in har-mo-ny, with them good ole...
good ole...mississip-pi moves,'

That floor there, was a bouncin'
holdin' hands we were a jumpin',
an-a hoppin' In the kitchen, to those...
                  sounds ...
Where Grandma's feet were a stompin',
In her new...New-white-sexy-pat-en-
(ya hoo)

Details | Free verse | |

Why do we have to grow up Huh

When I was just a baby
Many years ago
I was so agile I could even suck my toe
Now I have trouble lifting up a cup
Oh how I hate growing up!.

When you'r a child everyone smiles at you
And say's ''awe, aren't you cute''
Bur now your an adult
Your as cute and popular
As an old worn out boot.

When your a kid
and lose a tooth
You put it under your pillow
And in the morning you find a quid
But now  it's something you cannot do
Because you have to put your teeth into chew.

I suppose being an adult has it's advantages
You don't get ring worm nits and puppy fat 
But why did I have to grow up
It wasn't in my plan
It just happened
And now I'm a man

Petwr Dome.copyright.2014. Aug.

Details | Free verse | |

Conspiracy: Who Killed The Easter Bunny

A crowded table, all suspended in shock 
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock

Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable

They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied

Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman

Details | Free verse | |

The Smile Sink

I'm a clinical psychologist, 
 Specialising in narcissism within hyperspace, 
 Where it's all about the first-person narrative: 
 Where the photographer is the sitter; 
 Where the smirking cat points at their litter.. 
                      and, Flash! 
The preemptive future-proof memory cache:
The show and tell.
But am I here,  
Where my asymmetric self-portraits hatch? 
Is the view only real through the unsleeping lens? 
Is anxiousness the motor of this super-saturated-self? 
Is our interior long and gone chained inside the always-on Panopticon? 
                   The contra-flow confluence - 
 Everyone a million points of light. 
 Most walk the glass-click-down in stop-gap time, 
 Dappled in the shimmering gloom, skin-tight. 
 Flex with the nearest vat of wine. 
 Yeah, see, I'm looking fine.. 
You could delete that one, though, 
 And..that one. 
 I'll delete one too if you.. 
Remind me: how the hell am I again? 
 How old am I? 
 I wonder: how old should I be - here? 
The performer steals themselves for the cage. 
 Tag the sage. 
 Disconnect to share and engage - 
 It's the only way. 
 Watch the you-and-them. 
 Everyone with earphones on. 
 And all the eyes peel down the sounds leaking silence. 
            eat say day date data dated rate 
                      careful addictive sizzle 
The Smile Sink - 
 Don't blink. 
 There's a lot to study in the meta of me-think. 
 In the liminal smog pools the dawn patrols subject their objects - 
 Take the tamarind hit from the gloaming ersatz. 
I'm a clinical psychologist, 
 Specialising in narcissism within hyperspace, 
 Where the photographer is the sitter. 
 You can follow me on Twitter. 

Details | Free verse | |

My True Beauty

Eyes brown
Knowing intelligent
Brunette hair
Following behind 
As you run
Gentle loving
Enjoying others

Legs and hips
Most beautiful 
I've seen
Could sculpt

You turn around
Well shaped rear
Tail swishing 

To flick
Away the

Details | Free verse | |

Two Missing Pieces

My mom kept all her grandkids one summer
To visit a week or two

Wouldn't ya know it, it started to rain
Stuck inside with nothing to do

The older ones started a puzzle so grand
With every animal found at the zoo

When young Zach tried to help, they only shoved him away
On how to get even he quietly started to stew

I pretended to read my magazine while this was going on
But watched as Zach stuck in his pocket - pieces numbering two

For days and days the puzzle grew
And we all anxiously awaited the final view

Then disappointed faces all around
Searching the whole house through and through

Then Zach walked up with his crooked smile
Finished the puzzle and whistling, from the room withdrew

©Donna Jones

Details | Free verse | |

TIS The Season Of Football

                        All has come to an end, except for who to proclaim
               The winner of The National College Football Championship Game

                            Excitement is brewing for the play-off game
           Some will be at the game watching getting rained on, cold, and excited

The armchair quarterbacks stay at home and watch on their big screen TV being- telecasted
Scheduling and planning their parties to cheer on their favorite team and fellowships
                                      Shopping for chips and dips
                                      Hot wings and BBQ smokies
                                 Soda pop, tea, beer, and whiskeys

         They dress themselves and their children in lucky sports team attire

          Kick off time has come, everyone is bouncing off the walls inspired
                  Armchair quarterback is playing in his own little field
                                              He kicks and runs
                                       Catches, tackles, and stuns
                        “That’s not the way they teach you to tackle!”
                 With all his excitement he almost slides off the armchair
                             “Oh, come on! Hey ref that’s not fair!” 
       “That’s pass interference he was all over him while the ball was in the air!”
                                         He hollers and cheers
                                   “Touchdown!” That’s the way!
                                            Rants and raves
            “Quit doing that, you idiot, you're going to get a fifteen yard penalty!”
                          His blood pressure is going up we all agree
                              “What the Hell was that you nitwit!”
                            “He dropped it.! You could have had it!”
                           Disappointment sets in, his team has lost
                     He blames the refs for all the bad calls, and its cost

             Cleaning the carpet because of all the excitement, it’s going to cost
         The season is over and I don't have to hear his rants until next year and
            Our children will be the next generation of armchair quarterbacks

                                          1/13/2015 by: Eve Roper

Accounts on watching and listening to my husband and brother 

Details | Free verse | |


People tell me that Prancercise
is the latest craze to go viral
here in the U.S.A. Jeez Louise!
Are you frigging kidding me?
Prancercise is Geekercise!
No wonder the godless heathen
Russians think they can take us.
I guess the next thing you
are going to tell me is that
Barack Insane Hussein Obama
is the President and
Crazy Uncle Joe Biden
is the Vice President.
They are? Loopy Snoopy!
No wonder the godless heathen
Chinese think they can take us.

Details | Free verse | |

Romancing the Turtle

          Romancing The Turtle

A second or third party of unknown origin
Fragmented theories, partially substantiated as of this hour
Fully disclosed an encounter 
Between a man and a tortoise or turtle
They told a tale to a friend of a friend
Regarding an unnatural act as a fact
Between a turtle and man caught in the act
With a bottle of wine to seal the deal
A relationship not condoned by the church
As the man had no cloths on
And whose name will remain undisclosed
For the moment
Due to the sensitive nature of the accusatory story
We will take a snack break now.  I need energy to continue
There is no reason to doubt this account
Since we can’t discount the sources
Scores of sources from all over town
Maybe one but who knows….maybe less
And the tortoise or turtle for his defense
Speaks no English and therefore it makes no sense
To take this to trial
In Florida as a matter of legal fact and consequence
It is still illegal to sleep with alligators or porcupines
Peculiar I guess in anyone’s mind
Well that’s just fine and justice from behind
But what about the poor other species?  
Who will protect them from naked men? 
And what if PETA finds out? 
As for me, I’m teaching my turtles English
And keeping them safe in the house for good reason

Details | Free verse | |

A Child's Puzzle Answered

                      Because it wanted to go to the library!

Details | Free verse | |

Hunting Inspiration

clutching my net of optimism
I hide –down wind-
behind a current event
and watch Inspiration drink
from the pool
of my desires

four days I’ve tracked
along these promising plains
guided by past experience
to Inspiration’s various homes
but only ever
glimpsing false hope

when the sky turns dark
and the night feels hollow
with a chill of disappointment
for another unsuccessful day
I dream of Inspiration
such a beautiful dream

entering the grove of despair
I gulp the nectar of chance
and now I spy Inspiration
but with my blurred vision
and unreliable coordination
my net swings wide


Unfortunately I find myself in this place yet again.

Details | Free verse | |

Cookies-Food For Thought

Cookies -
Why can’t I have the chocolate one
I want more
She took my cookie
Hers is bigger than mine
I want to trade
That’s not fair

Cookies +
Thank you for the cookie
I love you
Thanks for all you do for me
I am satisfied
This is good
I am loved
Written By  Deborah Finneran :)  2013

Details | Free verse | |

One hand on my britches

One hand on my britches keeps them from falling down
One hand on my cane, which keeps me off the ground

I know a solution must be found, I can’t decide just what kind
I’ve been analyzing the situation; but it rather puzzles my mind

Could be gravity tugging on them that has them in such a rush
Or is it my belly hanging out there that has given them a push

Now I know I was looking for something; I guess I’ll just look around
I am hoping that I will know it whenever it is  found

I believe that I was headed out for somewhere
But must find my jacket; nothing else fit to wear

I certainly have my hands full, as anyone can see
I know that I have to get going; but damn, now I have to pee

Details | Free verse | |

The Oxymoron

                  The Oxymoron

Dark light flood - seeped the small room,
Music droned loud with a dull sharpness.
As people stood and danced alone together,
Violent sways of percussion brushed my ear
A teenage adult smiled grimly as courage fled,
When I, dared to ask the girl woman to dance.
I stood shuffling in brave fear like the living dead,
A serious joke that I hoped no one laughed at. 
Her smile frowned as she moved in an irregular pattern,
I made my forward retreat to the other side of the room
And watched her then in the now deafening silence, 
With such sweet sorrow, as she danced with another.

Details | Free verse | |


If I had lied like everyone else who achieved their goal,
I could have spared myself an useless headache,
and it seems late to realize that my honesty caused a mess!
There was a table for two sweethearts
in the finest restaurant, my first date supposed to have been perfect
with all the enthusiasm and the sorrounding athmophere:
a boutique of roses and scented candles! 

The girl's name was Amenda with big eyes of sapphire,
the boy's name was Andrew a little outspoken but funny;
everything went smoothly, the food was superb and the waiter
with an Italian accent was humorous and helpful,
but happened next is something nobody would believe.

Amenda had too much wine and started to talk non-sense
asking me, " What kind of work do you do?" 
I promptly replied, " I am a chief ! " and boasting with pride,
silly words flowed from my mouth, " You should see me
in my uniform...everybody loves it! "  Amenda with angry eyes
yelled, " Everybody...including the dumb blonde
and the red headed who order food just to see you? "
I jolted as if in a powerful earthquake, " How do you know that? "
But she with a malignant glance exploded, " I saw them
flirting with you while they waited for their order! "  

" Oh, pretty boy, you brought me here to listen to your aspiration,
I must be stupid enough to believe everything you say? "
I stood up, pushing back my seat and swore, " I never intented to lie,
Amanda...I am sorry for getting you upset, and if my honest caused a mess,
I apologize with all sincerity. " Ah, you even mention the word sincerity:
here's you reward, fool! " And splashing a glass of wine all over my sharp suit,
she left...while the crowd started to laugh, thinking it was a movie scene.  

Here's my deepest reflection on telling little, white lies,
" Guys, on your first date...don't say what you actually do for a living,
invent a profession that brings in tons of money, like a surgeon or attorney;
go ahead and have fun, and the more excited you get her,
the more she'll believe you...who wants to be a loser on his first date? "

Details | Free verse | |


My sister went into a shop Behind the counter she saw a sign 'ENGLISH IS SPOKEN HERE' You often see these signs when you are on holiday abroad Why am I writing this poem? My sister doesn’t live abroad She certainly doesn’t live on the moon The sad state of affairs She lives…. IN ENGLAND!!! 9th January 2015

Details | Free verse | |

Gormless sue

I once had a girlfriend
Her name was gormless Sue
They mustuck her for a Gorilla
and put her in a Zoo.

They fed her bananas
through the bars of her cage
and soon caught the eye
of a young male called Dave.

Dave chased her around
the cage every day and all through the night 
and it wasn't a pretty site.

Sue begged me to save her and let her out
So y picked the lock
and she ran out screaming
and ran and never stopped.

Then the zoo keeper
mistook me for a bear
No one let me out and I'm still there.

Ah Well what can you do
Suppose I;ll just have ro grin and'' bear'' it

Peter Dome.copyright.2014.march

Details | Free verse | |

Performance Anxiety

I may be no linguistic superstar
 Or bachelor,master, doctor of languages
 But i'll have you know
 I've performed my works on many occasions
 To cats, dogs, trees and miscellaneous flora
 All of whom showed quiet
 And genuine interest 
In what I had to say
I have shouted rhymes and
 At the top of my voice
 To the inside of my house
 While every piece of furniture
 Sat motionless in awe
 Rehearsed countless conversations
 While riding bicycle
 Through quiet spectacular landscapes
 Magnificent mountains
 Stood high in silence
 Listening to every word
 Offering quiet encouragement

Details | Free verse | |

The After Turkey Day Blues

The turkey is cold. The dressing is gone.
All of your friends and family have gone home.
Every show on cable television is a holiday rerun.
The stores are overflowing with shopaholic maniacs.
Your neighbors are complaining about your outdoor Christmas lights.
The kids are fighting over who gets to eat the last slice of pie.
They call it Black Friday for a good reason, it is a hell of a day.
It is only a twenty four hour horror so put a smile on your face.
Remember that in less than a month it will be Christmas Day.

Details | Free verse | |

an untitled slam poem that addresses gender and also being a lesbian

"Oh," she whispers, "but she's here with a boy!" Her words, especially the painted blue one, stick to her palm covering her lips and mouth, I lace my fingers through yours and this happens simultaneously on opposite sides of the room, we look at each other and smile, the suppressed laughter in our mouths a balloon blown so full it's about to pop,

It pops.

You're not all boy.

We laugh because she saw you from far away, she saw you and your hair that basically spells out either, 'lesbian,' or, 'boy,' across your forehead.

I look at your eyes. I tell you: Jesus, she thinks you're a boy and she thinks I'm straight we've neeever been in this situation before.
We laugh.

And, oh, that waitress that one time said, "thank you sir," when you handed her your credit card, her words overflowing with poisonous flirtation, spilling out of her mouth along with a biohazardous receipt, Her fingertips brushed yours as she handed it to you,
She didn't know. Painful ignorance.
After she left, you asked, "So is she a lesbian? Or..."

I didn't have the heart to tell you that she thought you were all boy.

I also didn't have the heart to believe the waitress didn't know she was feeding us poison.

you acted like it was nothing, but I, like, internally growled or something because the only two people who are this protective over someone else are moms and girlfriends.

She whispers, "Oh, but she's here with a boy!" and the blue word caresses our cheeks like your thumb and mine, currently participating in some sort of passive aggressive thumb makeout session because that's a nervous habit we have when we hold hands. 
And we have the words "boy" and "lesbian" written across our foreheads, so it's a good thing I focus on your eyes.

Details | Free verse | |

Walking Dead

Numbness as I walk in halls
A heavy load in my hand I bear
Tome of the ancient past
Portrays a fog in my mind

Emptiness, void and vanity
As I look at zombies like me
Consumed by an epidemic...
Which left us cold-blooded

At the darkness of dusk
When the sun shines no more
I lie below the tombstone of my grave
Devoured by a sleepy hollow in my coffin

Vitality where are you?
Where are your streams of life? 
I' am lost, Where am I?
Oh wait, that's right
I'm in college

Details | Free verse | |

The Devil Versus The Cajun

The Devil went down to Louisiana
looking for some souls to steal.
A Cajun who was out hunting
shot him in the ass.
The Cajun mistook him for a cormorant.
A Cajun will eat most anything,
including boudin and dirty rice.
The Devil took his sorry sore ass out of Louisiana
and went to Washington D.C. instead.
He fit right in with that bunch of political bums.
As for the Cajun, he bagged a rabbit and an armadillo
so he went home happy with a couple of right good meals.

Details | Free verse | |

Redneck Hoop DeVille

Whenever you spot a hillbilly illegality is a possibility.
He’s speeding down the dirt road just as fast as he can.
He keeps switching lanes like some maniac mad man.
Buddy Joe done went and got in trouble with Johnny Law again.
Country boy has been selling rot gut whiskey out of his rusty car trunk.
Try as he might Buddy can’t outrun Smokey in his Redneck Hoop DeVille.

Details | Free verse | |

I'll diet tomorrow

Hanging clothes on your exercise bike, driving to the corner store
Taking the elevator up one floor, snacking while watching TV evermore.
Eating ice cream out of the carton, overloading the dinner plate
Eating sweets and drinking sodas, always wanting to exercise just a little more?
I'll diet tomorrow.  Hospital appointment and you get examined by a young nurse
half your age.  The dreaded words take off your shirt-no sucking in the
belly flab now.  Your fat and exposed and somewhat embarrassed.  The room is
cold and your sitting fat and old.  Professionalism is not to comment on the
subject at hand.  She's done and you race to put on your shirt blaming the
coolness of the room.  The doctor comes in and reminds you that even losing a 
few pounds will be beneficial.  On the way home you stop by a fast food drive through
and order a mega size meal for lunch with the big BIG soda.  Driving home
sucking up that bubbly sensation of sweet sinful satisfaction you make
a mental note to self.  I'll diet tomorrow.

Details | Free verse | |

Magician For A Day

If I was a magician for a day:
no child in the world go to bed hungry,
war would take a holiday,
all politicians would disappear,
newscasters would dress as clowns,
skunks would lose their stink,
dogs and cats would join in dance,
I would be young again
and Ann-Margret would live next door to me.

Details | Free verse | |

Good day

Though I notice no change 
Others so obviously see it 
But when I started to feel delight 
All others noted it was a bad thing
I’m so desperately confused
I don’t want to be from the “Bad ones” category 
I don’t act cool or anything 
I’m just trying to be humorous 
It pleases me and comforts me
To be noticed, to be visible, to be loved…
For my jokes to make this year a meaning 
For the thought “that was day”
------ I sigh, hoping for the better to come 
Trying to forget, I had once a day….

Details | Free verse | |

The Solitude Of My Mind

I often escape into 
the solitude of my mind, 
where there is peace on earth, 
monkeys have wings and 
all of the young ladies are fine. 
It is not quite Heaven, 
but it is certainly not Hell. 
In the perfect solitude of my mind 
Chuck Berry and Elvis Presley sing 
old time Rock and Roll duets. 
I may well be going insane 
but it is far better than 
Twenty First Century reality.

Details | Free verse | |

Colder than How cold is it

I never want to touch one                                                                                             Do they wear brass                                                                                                       Never dug a well                                                                                                    Never sat on an iceberg                                                                                            Penguin's not touching that                                                                                              I can wait on the shovel                                                                                                Don't have an ex-wife                                                                                                    Not kissing her mother                                                                                                Ha Ha never seen lawyers with hands in their own pockets                                                I have never cut class that way                                                                                       I have never got ice cream from a cow

Details | Free verse | |

My confession And the mouse that roared

It was just a typical ordinary night
I was all tucked up in bed
Radio on reading a book
By lamp light.

When suddenly
I saw a flash in the corner of my eye
Boy I was so scared
I nearly wet myself
I was petrified.

For there under the wardrobe
I did see
A giant mouse twitching it's nose
I could have sworn
It was laughing at me.

It had two huge eyes
The size of dinner plates
It was nearly as huge as a house
It was my worst nightmare come true
A giant enormous mouse.

I screamed when I realized it wasn't a dream
At the huge hairy monster fiend
Well I panicked and jumped out of bed
Ran down stairs screaming!!!!!
And banged my head.

I grabbed a pile of books
And hid in the bathroom
And locked the door
and put some things against the door
And some towels at the bottom on the floor.

And there I stayed for two weeks or more only occationaly
Leaving to get a drink or some food
Anything else I wasn't in the mood.

Well I wasn't going to let a mouse outsmart me
That would have been so silly
You see
So I bought a humane mouse trap
Because I hate killing things
And tried to tempt it in
I tried every contraption on the market
But still the mouse would win
It was like a mouse hotel
I tried  sardines cheese and pastabake
Chocolate and well done steak
Salmon toast boiled egg and sweets
It ate me out of house and home
With all the treats.
But still I couldn't get it.

Well soon I turned into a crazed mad killer!
With a shotgun and an axe
I was a hunter and my mouse was my prey
But still the mouse had it's day
Dynamite was the last resort
I tried real hard but it couldn't be bought.

Then one day I found it dead
The fattest mouse I'd ever seen laid by my bed.

It was finally over to my relief
But I felt so sorry for the critter
that caused me so much grief.

But having spent two weeks
In the bathroom with all those books
At least I came out a much wiser well read man
And a mouse is all that it took
But now I was broke
I didn't have a penny left
As I'd overfed the mouse to death

Peter Dome.copyright.2014. June.

Details | Free verse | |

Jim the duckling

Jimmy the Duckling
was only young
and couldn't yet swim
he was frightened of water
and wouldn't jump in.

So kept away
but watched his brothers and sisters
swim and play.

''What's up Jimmy''?
aren't you going in
for a swim?.

''No Mummy
I'm scared of water
and haven't learned to swim!''

''Of course!''
your too young
but let me learn you
and in a week or two
you'll be able to swim 
with your brothers and sisters too.

''Your are a good little Duckling'
to keep away from water when you can't swim
and all the other ducks agreed
Jimmy smiled shyly
but he was pleased.

Peter Dome.copyright.2013.July.

Details | Free verse | |

Missing sock mystery solution

One of the biggest mystery's 
Known to man that makes no sense to me
Is why when washing a pair of socks
You can only ever find one
The solution don't buy just two socks but three
One for the sock fairy and a pair for us
End of the mystery.

Case closed mystery solved.

Peter Dome.copyright.2014.July.

Details | Free verse | |

Halloween City Style

         Which - 'Witch' is which :)
 when a Bat doesn't need a ball to fly home,
 can’t tell a Black Kat from a black cat in Rome 
 a wood bat has no wings to hit one homer,
      havin' fun, can't stay home alone
   Which Jack Lantern beats a Pumpkin 
 in one’s store hands-down:) a hand crafted,
 one set alone...over any other lit in a window 
             at someone's home, 

   Witch screams from a 'mat' is louder... 
 than a cat, or 'Kat's Tale' when stepped on 
       then asked 'What is the mat-ter' 

 Witch's hungry howls for a 'Black Kat' 
       thirsty to mugg some new Witch... 
 costumed 'City Kat' on some 'White block', 
   draped in a black cape, on a  black pitch
     night, not Knight, all out of candy rock
  Which U hear- Ghostly bats or Witch's HELLO? 
 'WhO' me or BOO; on Fright Night’s city streets, 
     Witch Trick's or treat for pumpkin sweets... 
   which is, also known, in our City as Holloween. 

Details | Free verse | |

The Man with the Unflappable Flappers

I once met a man with ears so large
That “Dumbo the Elephant” had less by far.
Protruding outward from his head to the sky
Way up to the clouds where the birds did fly
Landing upon his outstretched sails
Building their nests inside his furls.

And so he lived with birds too many  
Hanging ‘round his ears a plenty
With people looking on chagrined
Wondering what on earth transpired with him
To make his sweet sound catchers grow
Larger than Jacks Bean Stock
Wouldn’t you know?  

And so he lived his life with nests 
Inside his lobes and gave his best
To all those birds and people too
Laughing and joking ‘til they turned blue. 
No less than the air he often shared 
With those who came to see 
This man with the pair of unflappable flappers 
Was no less than you and me.    

Details | Free verse | |


Attributes, many I adore 

Innocent like a Child
    Honest like a Spiritual Master
       Fighting Spirit like a Soldier
           Motivator like a Leader 
              Intelligent like a Einstein  
              Diligent like a Bee
           Humorous like Circus Joker
       Passionate like Picasso 
    Ambitious like Alexander the Great
Mass appeal like Mahatma Gandhi

Attributes, all in one are rare

By Hitendra Mehta
May 2011

For Members contest - Top Ten by Adeleke Adeite


Details | Free verse | |

An Introduction: an introduction

Considering how many times I set out to pen a small,
Master piece of art, a gem that might underwrite,
The utter liability of being just that stamp,
Or tramp, or whatever other denomination one might reliably take into use,
To put me in some camp,
By way of classifying the contingent being -me- 
Whose eagerness presently strives to present 
Himself as himself as truthfully as Truth writ large,
In terms, of course, both endearing, flattering and “brutally honest”,
(Which, parenthetically, is what my soon to be deceased ex-step-mother-in-law once Said,
Would be the way she would have to describe some of My more salient character flaws)
To you my reader, my chosen few, my undeniably very few chosen few,
As a being in the here and now,
As living flesh and burning spirit,
As a man of substance and substantial capacity 
To transmit radiant rays of thoughts,
That reside, quite Evidently, 
And in no doubt to some degree by Providence,
Within an interior space- MySpace- where nothing gets elbowed around-
Nor for that matter ever gets liked, commented upon, shared,
Or, even worse, put at risk of going viral-
For this is after all an authentic  space, 
Not a virtual race to create a face,
Nor a terrific place to leave a cyberlinear trace
But a true mental galaxy, 
An individual-wide web of self-associating neurons, 
Where all and everything is self-made and dependent upon Nothing more, 
Than a small light switch which I alone am the master of-

This then will indeed be far from the grandeur of the art I imagined.

Therefore my fair friend
I humbly ask,
With hand on heart,
Notwithstanding those fingers so inclined to be bent and crossed,
And hat in hand 
(That would be the other hand)
For your forgiveness and forbearance
And do solemnly promise to get this little ritual over with
As fast as a cat on a motor scooter- 
Which is an image I kind of like by the way
Because it reminds me of Sally,
The old toothless Steinbeckian woman who lived alone above the basement apartment,
A dank little hole I might add, 
Back in 1992,
Where my ex-wife, now an Artist, used to live in a snotty little town called Westport.
Sally uttered those timely words
With a Cheshirean grin to boot her point home
Because her landlords were kicking her out
Not only for going sour apple on three months rent
But for being a rotten apple to begin with in a part of the world
Where only Golden apples were entitled to reside.
Sally had to get the hell out.
Faster than a cat on a motor scooter.

Oh toothless rootless Sally how I celebrate you!
Hardly a master of your own destiny
You were at least a Masterful speaker
Unlike those marginal creeps,
Mr. and Mrs. Somebodyimportant, 
Whose sharp noses wedged you out 
Of their little cash crop cottage 
And who no doubt live comfortably  
This very day
In some vaulted tomb under Floridian myakka 
While you 
My little friend 
Are but dust in the wind.

With that aside now put aside 
I now commence
To end quickly this brief debriefing 
And by way of Introduction
Will only add the most necessary details to conclude 
What urgently needs to be concluded as rapidly as possible,
Faster even,
To paraphrase our heroine in modern idiom,
Then a cat going global on youtube.  

One important detail to get over with,
A small but relevant 
Fact of the matter,
Is confessional by nature:
I hate introductions because they do 
In fact Matter
Under the unique circumstances
Which with bated breath and increasing alarm
I have come to recognize
As not only necessary
But obligatory
To outline
In a way-
How do I say this?-
That will not only defy
The very conceptual idea 
Of brevity
But defy it in such a way
As to peel its meaning down
To its very atomic anti-structure
Semantically speaking
Which is to say,
That brevity in my hands
-Drum roll please-
Is brevity in geological time.

Why you ask?

My reader,
I suffer from nothing less 
Then a syndrome, 
Unique upon this earth-
(Oh wretched wretched earth you are!)
Unique among all earthlings,
(With some note-worthy exceptions among 
Those posturing, lumbering humanoids called writers)
And certainly unique among all rational creatures
(Who Nature by way of de-evolution has so endearingly
Immunized against MyDisease by way of social nurture 
And social constructions that protect humanity’s bloodline from madness),
In proper taxonomic terms-
“Ican’tstopwritingIcan’tstopwritingIcan’tstopwritingIcan’tstopwritingeizer’s Disease”

Details | Free verse | |

Nathaniel Bains

Nathaniel Bains was a kindly man but had little brains
He was as skinny as a lat
Lived in a small country village
And a bird nested in his tall top hat.

Nathaniel resembled a scarecrow his clothes were well worn and mucky
Although  a pleasant man he was born so unlucky
When he was two he fell in a well 
And the locals complained because he smelled
When he was three he fell from a tree when he was four he fell on the floor
Poor Nathaniel couldn't do anything right
A walking disaster
But like a good man prayed each night.

When Nathaniel grew up he was nearly seven foot tall
And could peer over the tallest wall
And pick apple off the trees
Until he got stung on the bum by a swarm of bees.

One day in march or may Nathaniel entered a competition 
And sent off  his entry straight away  the prise a cruise
Nathaniel thought he couldn't lose.

Weeks passed by and Nathaniel forgot
If he'd won or not until postman Egbert with letter in hand
Shouted ''Nathaniel''a letters arrived you have won first prize''
Nathaniel never had a letter before and had someone read it by the door.

The village folk were so excited they invited Nathaniel to the squires mansion
And had a ball. hip hip hurrah! our Nathaniel has won a prize and is unlucky no 
more went up in a mighty roar.

Nathaniel packed his old tatty suitcase and the village folk went with him to see 
him off at the Southampton Docs they waved as the ship set off
But poor Nathaniel wasn't lucky and everyone panicked

It was a prize of a cruise on the Titanic!.

The village folk were so sad he was a pleasant lad and not that bad
They erected a statue in his honour in the town but even that fell down.

Some say sometimes you can still hear Nathaniel whistling as he passes in the 
Town after the sun goes down

''Idea came to me in a dream.''

Peter Dome copyright.2014. July.

Details | Free verse | |

Housework apathy

Housework what a chore
I refuse to do it any more 
My poor hands have blisters 
And my hands are sore
Oh my what a bore.

The more you do
The more you find
It's such hard work
And I don't have the time.

Some peoples houses are like a show room
Mine A sty
Think I was born without the tidy gene
I'm just a man who doesn't clean.

Antique pizza found under the coach
But how I wish I had a tidy house
Piles of books everywhere
If anyone came they couldn't find a chair.

I tried housework some years ago
But what I let myself in for I didn't know
I bought every cleaning substance known to man
I stood proud with a mop and bucket in my hands
You used to be able to look out of the windows and see the trees
I cleaned and scrubbed on my knees
I threw loads of stuff away. It seemed I was cleaning night and day.

Oh how I hate throwing things away
I keep everything thinking
It will come in handy one day
But it never does.

Oh won't someone come and clean for me
I can't help it I'm such a busy bee.

A man's work is never done
Not because we do any
Because it's far from fun
No we just think about it
And think some more
Oh why is housework such a chore.

''Not a true story, but I avoid it as much as poss''.

Peter Dome.copyright.2014. July.
And now I'm sat here tired frustrated
In my apron and rubber gloves

Details | Free verse | |


12 Days to Being Banned (on Fb) On the first day of Christmas, I sent out a friend request to A Donald Duck swimming. On the second day of Christmas, I sent out friend requests to Two drunks driving, And a Donald Duck swimming. On the third day of Christmas, I sent out friend requests to Three groups regrouping, Two drunks driving, And a Donald Duck swimming. On the fourth day of Christmas, I sent out friend requests to Four armies arming, Three groups regrouping, Two drunks driving, And a Donald Duck swimming. On the fifth day of Christmas, I sent out friend requests to Five ... actors ... acting ~ Four armies arming, Three groups regrouping, Two drunks driving, And a Donald Duck swimming. On the sixth day of Christmas, I sent out friend requests to Six poets penning, Five ... actors ... acting ~ Four armies arming, Three groups regrouping, Two drunks driving, And a Donald Duck swimming. On the seventh day of Christmas, I sent out friend requests to Seven people fb pocking, Six poets penning, Five ... actors ... acting ~ Four armies arming, Three groups regrouping, Two drunks driving, And a Donald Duck swimming. On the eighth day of Christmas, I sent out friend requests to Eight George Clooney sites, Seven people fb pocking, Six poets penning, Five ... actors ... acting ~ Four armies arming, Three groups regrouping, Two drunks driving, And a Donald Duck swimming. On the ninth day of Christmas, the Lawyers sent to me Nine last warnings, And a letter banning me. On the tenth day of Christmas, the Lawyers sent to me Ten Orders Restraining, Nine last warnings, And a letter banning me. On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Lawyers sent to me Eleven Harassment Suits pending Ten Orders Restraining, Nine last warnings, And a letter banning me. On the twelfth day of Christmas, my *true love sent to me Twelve long stem red roses Eleven Back Stage Passes, Ten Complementary Tickets, Nine New Release copies, Eight party invitations, Seven boxes of chocolates, Six haute couture dresses, Five pairs of Jimmy Choo shoes, Four alligator handbags , Three cases of Champagne, Two ermine wraps, And a signed photograph just for me!
*George Clooney Suzette Crous 17/12/2012 Poetic Licence to the Max :-) Sponsor Poet Destroyer A Contest Name any poem goes | Original song under About section

Details | Free verse | |

The Fox and the Crow

Long Long ago so Long ago nobody knows how long ago there lived an 
old widow by the side of a jungle. Since nobody is there to take care of 
her she has to win her daily bread. Every day by evening she used to sit 
by a large tree making pancakes. She sits there till all the pancakes are sold. 
Then she goes to the market buy flour, oil and other things and with the 
remaining money she buys her food.

One day when she was making pancakes a crow came. It was hungry. 
It was there in the tree looking for the right time to take away a pancake. 
At one point of time the widow was too drowsy which was the right time 
for the crow. It was so quick to take away a pancake to the other tree.  
The widow started abusing the crow and peddled stones.

By that time a fox came. It believed it won’t take much time for him to 
steal from the widow but for thrill and fun it decided to get the pancake 
from the crow. It went near the tree and tried a trick by asking the crow 
“Hey crow people say you sing well please sing a song” believing the 
pancake will fall when the crow open its mouth. But this crow was a 
clever one. This crow removed the pancake from the mouth held it beneath
 its legs and started crowing. The fox was shocked but it is not prepared 
to give up hence tried another trick by saying “Hey crow people say you 
dance well please dance for me” believing when it dance the pancake 
beneath the legs will fall. This clever crow placed the pancake back in its 
mouth and started dancing. The fox was taken aback. Fox thought “you 
bloody crow you want to fool me”it tried another trick by saying “Hey crow
 people say you dance to the tune perfectly please do it for me”. The crow 
stopped for sometime thought “This is too much” and said “please wait a 
minute” ate the pancake said “husk busk hoi” and flew away.

Moral: Learn to keep the stolen things for yourself. Hahaha….

////This story was written 5 years back and told to my son and students 
with the moral "Don't under-estimate others"//////

Details | Free verse | |

Outsmarted Again

Banana sandwich
jam doughnut
well done steak
turn around to get a plate
from a rack


Two little innocent faces 
and wagging tails stirring back.

Peter Dome.copyright.2013. Dec.

Details | Free verse | |

dirty mosquito

Form:Balassi Stanza.

On a trek to deep jungle,
tired I, fell by hay bundle.
a giant wild female mosquito,
humming my favorite song,
crossing all bounds to bang,
licked me whole; dirty wild mosquito!
kissed my eyes, nose, cheek.
not my blood. bloody ,my love it seeks!
pheromone pulls this mosquito!
my sweat has this filthy stuff extra!
my sweat has this filthy stuff extra!
Pheromone pulls this mosquito!

Written for the contest “The Balassi Stanza Contest” by Dr.Ram Mehta.

Details | Free verse | |

Thank you for your recent submission-w

Thank you for your recent submission
We have reviewed it and decided not
To include it our next issue.
Wish you luck in your future pursuits.

Thank you for your recent submission
The editors are also writers and have
Received numerous rejection notices
And don’t like sending them out.

Thank you for your recent submission
We will have to pass on your poems
Though you have impressive credentials
Wish you success in placing theme elsewhere.

Thank you for your recent submission
They do not meet our publishing needs
You harbor a very great love for writing
We appreciate the opportunity to review it.

Thank you for your recent submission
To consider our magazine as an outlet
For your creative work, but regret
To use this particular submission.

Thank you for your recent submission
Without your hard work the journal would
Be impossible. It’s not an easy task.
Thanks for sharing your writing with us.


**Based on the real experiences in 1997-98

September 8, 2014
Form: Free verse
First Place Win
Contest: Rejection by Regina Riddle

Details | Free verse | |


Clinically dysfunctional

Is what the doctor described, as me.
I went for a 2nd opinion
To challenge his hypocrisy.

How dare he say im dysfunctional
He knows, nothing about me.

I know there are some issues,
In my own family.

Like my grandma, often runs around town.
Completely, naked as we have found.

There is an explanation, you see
She was a nudist, in the 60's
Who believed in peace, love & unity.

Then there's my brother, 
what a cool dude!!
He has an "imaginary friend"
Who we call "drew"

They often come for dinner,
& hang out with, the family.
We ask him, will he ever get rid of "drew"
Since he will, soon turn 52.

My sister, I love her dearly,
Has been a career criminal
Since the age of 13.

The last crime she committed,
Was a bit,  embarrassing it seems.
She stole from a homeless man,
To give to, the needy.

The family pet,  that we named sasoon,
we thought was a cat, 
is actually a racoon.

I could go on about my parents,
Who've been a role model, to me
Unfortunately, they are incarcerated,
In a psychiatric facility.

They will soon be out, though
Locked up since 03.
For public lewd, misbehavior
Just a lil discrepancy.

Clinically dysfunctional
No way,
That could never, be me...

contest: what annoys you
Posted 6/14/ 2013

Details | Free verse | |

My Last Will and Testament

To whom it may concern 
This is my last Will and Testament
I, Eric being of brainwashed mind and owned body
Bequeath the following worldly possessions 
To the government, 
I leave my mind 
For which you have programmed for years 
I leave my eyes
Which you have blinded from the truth 
I leave my ears 
Which you have filled with lies 
I leave my body 
Which you branded a slave long ago 
You may also keep my death benefit of $255.00 dollars 
For it is a humorous tribute of my worth in your eyes 
I suggest you buy booze with it 
To toast my untimely demise at your hands 
As for the remainder of my estate 
Please sell them to the highest bidder 
To help bailout another failed mess 
Brought on by the corruption you made your bed with 
All that I ask is that you keep my ass 
So you can kiss it on my way out 

Your slave 

Eric (and sometimes not) 

Details | Free verse | |

Warts and all

There was once a woman
who lived on Sheffield's London road
with greasy unwashed hair
black crooked teeth
and huge wart on the end of her nose.

Her eyes were wild and staring
she had rickets and fleas
had hairy legs and knobbly knees
She stank like a million skunks
she hadn't a bath for 12 years and a month.

Her name is Vera Cooper
She could drink any man under the table
and swore like a trooper.

She once won a beauty contest
when she fell into a ugly bugs nest 
she had a tattoo of a sewer rat on one breast.

People would run away
whenever she was in town
but the flies would follow her around.

But you know what?
She had a great personality
was so kind and caring
and gave lots to charity.

We fell in love and raised a family
we're very happy together
and so in love
and go together
like a hand in a glove
She's my angel.

''Well they do say it's personality that counts don't they?.''

Peter Dome.copyright.2014.

Details | Free verse | |

Upside down scratching my head

Fact of every day life, is in all one thought process
everything you hear, is about wars killing 
spending multi-millions on weaponary 
to then create suffering little children 
Crying poor, in their mothers and fathers arms
thrown to the wolves,they who are defenceless 
meek and humble innocent people cry in our shame

Rather than spend a lot less money on helping 
we as people should unite showing one world vow
To gather under the banner all hearts and souls 
in one with love rather than the faces of greed 
and hate tearing this planets resources asunder 
Not sharing in our planets wealth god given unto us 
an abundance of beauty the world is tainted 
At our conception, birth with us, we who have 
it all in the world at your fingertips, same right 
By god's given decree birth to share and love 
everything on our planet now that includes
our televisions, sweet nothing but pumping 
deadly poison like dark clouds drawing one sided
entering into people minds when they are at peace

13 syllable unlucky 11 syllables standing on two legs what i believe is right 12 syllables searching truth heavenly love answers, end 13 count how long will it be before time runs out lucky or unlucky smiling peace

Details | Free verse | |

Gay Aliens

Gay Aliens

We are gay aliens
We come in peace

We traveled inconspicuously
to your world through intergalactic
pods or wombs

Our host who nurtured us
had the wisdom to know
that we were not like
other humans 

Our hosts protected us
in our infancy
and from the men
who thought
they fathered us

These same men were
the first of many
to hate and hurt us

They called us names
like faggot and sissy

We the gay aliens
Who come in peace

Were confused
and hurt by their
but we still love them

We were falsely
accused of beguiling
drinking the blood 
and mutilating animals and children
to propagate our race

But that is not our mission
We come in peace

Some of us did 
not complete our
mission because
we prematurely
killed ourselves

Some of us did
not complete our
mission because
we internalize
the hate of the
world for us

We were drunken
from firewater
ingested too many small white pellets
screwed with no avail 

We forgot
Who we were
And why we are here

We are the gay aliens
We are legions
Hidden among you

We are a gift to humanity
And we come in peace

Details | Free verse | |


Friday night and I am already high as a kite plus this is a girl’s night out.
I will take a nap to lower my high and awaken ready to party.
This is my night to enjoy me.

I am awoke and sober.
The clock ticks four p.m.
My arousal is provoking incitement.

Humor the soul
Ignite the spirit
This is my night out.

I move to my closet and chose my outfit.
My selection is a sky blue maxi.
I smile mentally and know this well get me attention.
I am single by the way; however, I have had prior engagements.

In the club now, loud and rowdy, my wit will not end.
I am drinking bourbon.
Shall I go straight tonight or am I a gay girl?
My sexual feeling is driving me wild.
Has my sex partner made it in the house?

Humor the soul
Ignite the spirit
This is my night out.

Boisterous I precede.
He enters via the east wing.
He is dressed to kill.
I sashay toward him.
Someone pulls me on the dance floor.
He takes a seat and waits for me with eyes glowing.

The dance ends.
He holds out his hand.
Together we leave.

Specters we are.
Spiritually alive!
This is my night out.
Penned on May 07,2014!
For Kelly's Deschler Night Owl Contest!

Details | Free verse | |

Delightful Disorder

A sweet disorder in the dress kindles
In clothes a wantonness; a stole about
The shoulders thrown, a fine distraction; an
ErrIng Lace, which here and there enthralls the
Crimson Vest; a cuff neglectful, ribbons
Flow confusedly: a winning wave (note)
In the tempestuous petticoat: a 
Careless shoe-string, in whose tie I see a
Wild civility: does more bewitch me, 
Than Art when too precise in ev'ry part.

Details | Free verse | |


I spell it humour, you may spell it humor The ‘correct’ spelling of this word is important ‘U’ need humour in your life If ‘U’ don’t have it, your world will be dull The same rule applies to colour ‘U’ need colour in your life too So please humour me with my spelling and ‘U’ can have some fun Jan Allison 4th October 2014

Details | Free verse | |

Song excerpts' nonsense

"You pack in the morning"
Leaving again?
"Come stop your crying now"
Who's crying?
"From this day on"
Are you sure?
"You just call of my name"
Oh yeah? "All you have to do is call"
Okay.  "You got a friend".  Goodie.
"Nobody does it better"
Are you sure about that?
"Nobody does it half as good as you"
Where's the rest?
"I would do anything".  Okay, let's see now, lol
"Don't you know it's true?".  I'll see.
"It's lying here somewhere".  Okay, I'll look for it. 
In the mean time you keep looking too, haha.
Between both of us, we'll find it.
Dada dada
"Do it again".  Ah, I don't know about that.
"Say I love you".  Must I? lol
"You look inside my fantasy".  Do you now?  
I don't know what you see in there but it ain't pretty.  Haha just kidding
I think I'll stop now
Will catch you next time lol

Details | Free verse | |

Tree In A Forest

 I'm in a crowded place.  

 Others brush my limbs. 

 We look so much the same. 

 I easily fit in. 

 No one knows my name. 

 I am one of them. 

 Firry and firm. 

 A little junk in the trunk. 

 Wispy and thin, 

 I blow with the breeze. 

 I'm a little shady, 

 but stay if you please 

 as long as you'd like. 

 I've no teeth to bite. 

 If you come closer I won't walk away. 

 I've no legs to go. 

 I'm here every day. 

 The great outdoors is where I sleep. 

 They're all I've known. 

 My roots are deep. 

 This crowded forest is my home.

 By: Juliet Ligon
 Motif: Nature

Details | Free verse | |

Not everyone's cup of tea

Quote for contest.

''I may not be everyone's cup of tea
But I never invited anyone to drink''.

Peter Dome. copyright.2014.

Details | Free verse | |

Put On Your Records One Time For The Lovers

(i wonder what her parents would think of me)  
impeccable is the beliveable if you just listen
lucrative is a much more charming effort
my dear......
"Turn on the Radio " 
he seems to be adamant insufficient....
(I better not say this out loud)  
for sho aint for sure, but love would you know it when it come a knocking let it in, 
remind me song
"Turn on the radio"
(I better say some like)  
dear madam what i neglected to is  say is that radio, 
have a different tune if i may say for this generation music is a way of expression, 
 it doesn't define a character i know you heard of 
twerking and doing chicken noodle soup but madam wait before you judge me! ! ! 
it more to story (then i start to think what if i had a child would i proof of that music)   
let me explain to her how we first meet and be  optimistic of the out coming? 
"Turn on the Radio" 
'the world is so cold why did you let me stand there (lyrics)   (then it hit me)  
this is a small town and and if im think what she think and we aint got to exchange last name to make it official, 
I know im the "kingdom of hearts" beloved hold me to it but 
from what my parents had luck  and how you and i we meet when we was three years old  your parents knew me before I knew my self.... 
speak of how i know that is because, 
i have a niece that is four who wont stop talking about some boy at 
(wait that a funny incidence or per luck)  
"Turn on the Radio"
was she hoping it was me then some other guy wait? 
Am i the only one that goes to the movies with there family on a sunday? (Do i have to answer)   
how we get on the same row? 
lol it is other rows aint nobody here? man is this movie long? lol what am i to say.....
and what came to mind was the song from Corinne Bailey Rae' put on your records' and 
say to myself some how some way im going to impression your parent just wait....
I do have internet radio site been put together songs since she's been away from college,
just happen out of the blue 
"Turn on the Radio" 
who is listen to this songs any how? who I mean whom? I mean? 
(crying crying, cry-I-n-G I-n-G,)
some reason I can't get lyrics off my mind I'm no singer this are just  hobbies so what do that make you the song or lyrics... 
I wrote for purpose instead of reason who is to judge me, may it be love! ! !

Details | Free verse | |


  -Dharga Nagar Safa

Bell invented his telephone,

Gifted to his love,Hello,

Bell told a secret over the phone to Hello's ears,

On a promise of not to reveal,

Calling every body,every moment,Hello to know the secret,


Not responding Hello,in shy!

Details | Free verse | |

Reflections: Intellectualism

To Dine, To Die;
Conversations spiral
While thunderous eyes
Grasp concepts to recycle.

Constant debt crisis
A political paradox
Grating social devices
Over the sorting of socks.

An endless groan
Argumental paralysis
The debate grants no throne.

Over a roast
Potatoes won't listen
To who talks the most.

"That point is so interesting"
The floor is open for chat
"What is real?" not a thing
"Meow" adds the cat.

Details | Free verse | |


How I adore you With your firm white thighs Magnificent large breasts How my juices are flowing I can’t wait to have you in my mouth Don’t you just love eating roast chicken Jan Allison 30th September 2014

Details | Free verse | |

Girlfriend 204

Now the asylum door is open once more
here comes girlfriend number 204 
She tells me
She's certified sane
But I'm not
I'm a wild man
who no one has ever tamed.

She says I look like George Clooney
But I think alas
She meant
Micky Rooney.

She claims to be Cleopatra
and related to Frank Sinatra
I think the injections are wearing off
because she's cut of her ear
and is now van Goth.

Oh why oh why can't I get a girlfriend who is sane
I'm fed up
It's always the same
Someone who isn't a psycho 
and doesn't think
their Doris day
or GI Jane.

''Open to offers''.

Peter Dome.copyright.2014.march.

Details | Free verse | |

Attempting One-liners Again

My cousin from Britain wanted the American experience... (I gave her a Twinkie)
Some bloke on Facebook said I was dum and I mailed him a dictionary
I ran out of tissues watching Titanic... (I guess laughter does birth a river)
The Queen went to the loo after a game of poker... (safe to assume that she had a Royal Flush)
A girl whispered seductively "I'll be counting the minutes until you return". The fool pointed out she could use a clock instead.
There's no such thing as a self-centered midget... (how could he ever climb such a high horse?)
I posted a picture of scotch broom and my uncle said "Of gorse it is!"
My cat ran to the river and was never found again... (must have been the cattails)
I never thought I'd stoop to botany jokes, but it's always nice to have a daff

Details | Free verse | |

No Party For Pity

 No party for pity. 
 Question the absurdity. 
 Friends, use discretion 
 if you get an invitation. 
 It's counterfeit. 
 Don't believe it. 
 Don't RSVP, 
 if you receive it. 
 Discard immediately. Don't contemplate. 
 It'll lead you nowhere. Don't save the date. 
 No early, late, or on time arrivals. 
 The doorbell is silent. 
 No lively dinner guests, 
 dressed in their best. 
 No hors d'oeuvres served on a fancy plate. 
 No thought-provoking conversations. 
 No guestbook to sign. 
 No vintage wine. 
 No catered food. 
 No live music for the mood. 
 No celebration for pity's pains. 
 No "congratulations,"  for complaints.         
 No party here. Discard the invitation. 
 Pity's alone, in bitter contemplation.

Details | Free verse | |

The Birth of a Thought

I gave birth to a thought today
A shiny little supposition
It wept about all the possibilities
Endless creativity 
Directionless refractivity
Like protons racing around an atom blaster
My thoughts began to multiply
It was the Big Bang of my Universe
Then I heard the voice of an angel
Say, “Daddy, this is my science project.”
And now the birth of a thought
Gave birth to a Black Hole

Details | Free verse | |

FAB Virgil

The bikies are in town today
 Least they're trying to make us think so
 I know different
 Thunderbirds, they really are
 FAB Virgil
 I heard someone say

 Lady Penelope sits astride a  97 Bonneville
 I'd know that hairstyle anywhere
Thunderbird 1 cloaked as a Norton Commando
 Thunderbirds 3 and 4
 Triumphs the both of them
International rescue comes to town
 Something big is going down
 Must be

 I spied Thunderbird 2
 Parked outside the TAB
 Stopped and asked Virgil
 For an autograph
 Told him I liked his Hells Angels costume
 And asked if he and Lady P
 Were off to a costume party
Then he showed me
 The special markings on his arms
 Proof he was from International Rescue
 And suggested I leave quickly
 Clearly something big going down
 International Rescue come to town

Details | Free verse | |

I know who you are

I don’t know you for we have never met
But still I believe that I know you well
This is the impression that I get
I can see from afar that you are a gentle man
With an open mind with a wily wit
Coiled at ready always close at hand
You are a smith with words a cleaver tale you tell
Your humor is beguiling yet it ranges wide and far
I imagine you will smile a bit as you read this write
While you gently set it aside having deemed it to be sub-par

Donald J Bennett

Details | Free verse | |


Well I declare!
Gawd, did you hear
the minister just
dyed his hair,
a reddish tint
with purple streaks
to match his flowered
untied “sneaks”.
I do declare!
I saw him there
buying thong-style
to match the
tightly binding jeans
that held him in
with bulging seams.,
caressing every
part of him
Dear Gawd, it’s
got to be a sin.
Saw him wiggle,
dance and sway
in a most peculiar way.
Purse his lips
now pearly red
flounce his hair,
toss his head.
I fear he’ll lead us
into hell
at the next ringing
of the bell,
but I must follow him
you see
from aisle 6
seat twenty three.
But I declare,
he’s looking fine
and dancing
in A Chorus Line for
He became
a “sistered” brother
played his part
to help another.
Shook the rafters,
wooed the crowd
made the humble
roaring proud.
Said to those
with faces set:
 “I never
should have took
that bet.”




John G. Lawless
for Well I Declare!  Poetry contest
sponsor Judy Konos

Details | Free verse | |

Got to make your way

I am going to write some funny poems now
Okay what do you want to hear?
I can't tell you what you want to hear
Because I cannot hear you
Okay I said I don't want anything
You think I am serious?
Why? How am I going to get things I want?
Do you think you can do whatever?
What is whatever? lol
Dream when you sleep?  
Does that mean you sleep right now?
Why do you wait for later?
Don't you want it sooner?
Why do you like today?
Would you rather like tomorrow?
I think I am done with you
Yes my friend
You don't believe me?

Details | Free verse | |


I am getting hungry y’all.
I have no food in the house.
I wonder why I have to order out.
Laugh out Loud

I am getting hungry you all.
I have to order out.
I have no food in my house.

I am hungry y’all.
I have ordered out.
Still no food in my house
Don’t you dare laugh out.
Penned on May 01, 2014!

Details | Free verse | |

Heavenly Bacon

Bacon oh bacon you greasy little devil,
You have my full attention when i hear that frying pan sizzle.

Your aroma so intoxicating, Your taste is just pure bliss, 
Each bite just keeps getting better my head spins like the Exorcist.

You're the duct tape of the food industry cause you add that extra flava,
I don't care if i'm going broke i'm hungry , for you i'll pay that extra dolla.

My belly is content I have a smile across my face,
Bacon oh bacon when I eat you 
you take me to my happy place.

By: Shawn Munoz 
Inspired by Kevin Sheehan

Details | Free verse | |

It never goes well when the hen crows

("I know full well, if I can tolerate her spirit, I can with ease attach myself to every human being else," so said Socrates! The title is inspired by a proverb)

He married to the fairest of fair shepherdess The shepherd was much older than the dame But the fairest of dames was not headless one. Was given the charge of the house with little money. Folks knew well she was not quarrelsome wife But the husband ignored his duties day by day Wasted time, roaming in the country with sheep a few Wandering with friends, wondering at God’s creations. But that didn’t fetch the livelihood of the family He was in heaven as his wife never scolded him Silence was her fair jewel, which she always wore But she kept her sharp tongue intact, never to rut. A day came, she bemused her silence, mused tongue Obviously he has to face a wife much younger than him With rutted tongue, tolerated her tantrums and tongue. So that with ease he can enjoy his daily lazy routine.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Date 12-16-13 Dr. Ram Mehta Second place win Form: Free Verse Contest: Relate your poem to one of the quotes by Giorgio Veneto Chosen quote: 1) "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher." - Socrates

Details | Free verse | |

Silent Letters

Wat is th point of thes silent letters?

We se them evryda but they hav no purpos.
No wis thing to sa caus they hav
no voic.

Her to confus and moc us...
... well wat do you hav to sa for yorself silent letter?

(I cast them awa caus I onestly don't trust them)

Details | Free verse | |

Why is it

Why is it after you wash a pair of socks
you can only find one
And we only really appreciate youth
when it's to late and gone.

Why do we always get a huge spot 
on the end of our nose before a date
And we are always the last in a cue 
and have to wait.

When your in the shower the telephone rings
and when your partner tidy's up
you can never find anything.

Why is it when you try to impress
we always make a mess
Why do women want bigger
or smaller breasts.

Why when you are down
they say your blue
when all you see is black
And soon on your holiday
you miss home and want to come back.

Why do electrical appliances 
always break in 3's
And in simmer we are so attractive 
to wasps and bees.

Why is it as soon as you get to the dentist
your toothache mysteriously goes away
And why is there never enough time
in the day.

Why when so many people are starving
we still throw so much food away.

Makes no sense to me.

Peter Dome.copyright.2014.

Details | Free verse | |

Christmas Season

Santa Claus is a scary dude. 
Right up there with God. 
He watches our every move
and keeps score with a list
that he checks twice to 
prepare for judgement day 
and what might lay 
under the Christmas tree 
if you're not found naughty. 

I love that little baby in a manger 
and angels, shepherds, lambs , 
a bright star to follow. 
But the wise mens' gifts are suspect. 
Smart shoppers would bring
a rattle, toys, maybe a lullaby.

Santa, Jesus,  Christmas,
a season of light, anticipation and anxiety.
The big question pressing hard 
like steel on ice. 
Skating around sacrifice and salvation. 
For God sake who could ever hope to be that nice? 

Santa is not around after he delivers,
thankfully he leaves town and 
God sleeps like new parents do,
catching some Z's
after an evening of childbirth,
well wishers, three kings.

Christmas morning.
Hurry! Bring your best intention.
Escape! Wake up before anyone.
Open your present moment.

Details | Free verse | |



Football’s in the
All the colleges
Students don colors
It seems like just

At the stadium
Alma maters by the
A vendor throwing
To customers in the

And here comes the
Pride of Smith
Center Teachers
Dressed in red and
I was there with all
my friends
Wildly yelling
“Fight! Fight!

From trusted wheel
Still getting into
the game
Excitement the same
I’m still singing
with the band
With oxygen close at

Details | Free verse | |

True Reflection

TRUE REFLECTION Mirror, mirror on the wall I know you're always truthful but I wish you could show me all, to view what will be ahead rather then leave me in the dark instead. Every day I look at you I can't believe that reflection is really true. Well, I know you don't fool but every morning must you be so cruel? Where is the time when you made me look so fine? Now I should accept what I see because the older I get the more painful it will be. I like to see what the future will bring when I'm called up, will I get my wings? Now tell me mirror, mirror on the wall, is it true, that seven years of bad luck will follow me after I smash you?

Details | Free verse | |

A Barren Antelope

____A Barren Antelope (Unedited)____

A barren antelope

Visits the world of the living

She is searching for the Messiah’s hands

To bless her womb with living

Kids, kids, everywhere, she

Wants to bear her own,

She wants to be a mother

And be called mother antelope

She cry and cry and cry over the Kilimanjaro

And Everest 

She weep across the Atlanta searching for

Messiah’s hands.

She want it, she want it

She want a good image

A bad image to be buried

To be buried and a good image to live on.


She wants a life to live

She wants a heart of her own

Who will help her out

Now that the rumour have

Spread that the Messiah 

Had gone…

Gone for life

To another life

Shadowy and deep

Yet to be know by Many.

Yet to be visit by all .

A berry paradise

A cherry light.

For: Worst poem contest
Sponsor by: PD

Details | Free verse | |


I forgot.
I didn't understand.
Those aren't my shoes.
My name is not Stephon, it's Henry.
I don't ski.
I have the flu.
How was I suppose to know that was your carpet?
No, that's not my dog.
Do I look like I wanna be in Cuba?
The reason I ate the last truffle was because I bought them myself.
It's not my fault I'm angry! You got me this way!
I certainly didn't know about the volcano.
Do I look like a scientist to you?
You peed on me first.
I didn't say that.
I have a headache.
I wasn't listening.
You weren't listening.
I don't know.
I'm color-blind.

- Matt Caliri

Details | Free verse | |

To My Mema

As I sit here and wonder what went wrong,
I realized, nothing went wrong.
People say it was your time to leave this world,
to go and see your savior, your God.
But really, everyone knows it was your Johnny boy, the Fisherman.
He couldn't spend another second without you.
His beautiful lover, the wonderful mother, the amazing grandmother.

As I sit here and wonder about what you're doing,
I imagine you two dancing and singing with your buddies from Bailo's.
I imagine you watching over your family and leading them in the right direction.
I could almost see you sitting on the bleachers for my high school graduation,
and I started to tear up knowing you were there watching.

As I sit here and wonder about you,
I know you miss us just as much as we miss you.
Ryan and Jackie will never know how kind and gentle you were, like a summer breeze.
Bella will never know how generous and humorous you were, making everyone laugh.
But I will know, and I will tell them, even if it is with tears in my eyes.

As I sit here and wonder about my future,
I think of you. 
You always knew I was going to be a successful person.
And I always believed you.

my number one role model. My favorite grandmother.
My best friend.

RIP Roberta J. Kobstad 
You will be forever missed.

Details | Free verse | |

Rhyme time

There was a time my lines would rhyme
But that was another place, another time

That is now all in the past
For ink and time have flown so fast

I have lost that rhythmic rhyming touch
That touch that meant so very much

Now it has all flown away
For I now have nothing more to say

Nothing more to say
Yet I go ahead and say it anyway

Details | Free verse | |

Getting Old

Getting Old They say I'm getting old, or so it seems. They tell me I'm retired, but I keep getting ready to go to work. I keep losing my glasses, I leave them everywhere. Sometimes when I go to the pantry - I can't remember, if I have to put something in, or if I come take something out. Sometimes when I come in the house - I can't remember - if I have to close the door, or if I'm just going out. I have lost a lot of things, that I can not seem to find, but the thing I miss the most - Oh my God - it's my mind. This old age business don't sit well with me. Don't you think, I'm that old - I still know how to play the game. I'm just old enough to know better...
03/17/2013 Written by Lucilla M. Carrillo

Details | Free verse | |

Living in A Glass House


The volume of a certain something

does not by any means determine its levity over any given situation

or its brevity by relation

Once you strike a chord,

It's moment of breath

Shatters through it's glass-painted interstellar conquest

Where the fine line between an arrow and a target success

is evident in the lack of evidence

Which provides you, the Reader, better access to the verity in absence

You're an ancient old trick

but if I am watching, you'll have no where to rest your well-traveled head

But in my seductive grin

I am too an old trick

But I stand closest to the cauldron

Stirring green the ocean

To make way for that final moment

When the flame burns cold in the winter frozen solstice;

The waves come crashing to the coasts

Coming for my broken souls

With a gleaming smile for all their sorrows

Taking off into tomorrow

With a calmed, relieved breath

Reliving the scenes on an endless landscape

Now, in compassionate presence

Because after all,

Can't have nothing without 'how'

How: being everything that has ever been conceived of.

So, what have You left out?

You've become ignorant of your own shining features

Forgotten feathers from a bow

Lost your inner voice in the mirror glow

All along Zephyr without, you've lived as a pestilence to others and yourself...

And now, its time for show

Up close and personal

Bath in all the choices ever dreamed of; and burn with a rosy glow

Opened-close a shut case

Without remorse or concern or thirst,

Because all this, will soon be Unearthed

Details | Free verse | |

All about Santa

The night before Christmas while trimming the tree
out of the mouths of children, curiosity will be.
Questions about Santa, among other things were asked
I found this amusing and a bit of a task.

Santa is coming so you better go off to bed, 
he never arrives unless you’re a sleepy head. 
Santa is very busy and he works so hard,
Why is he so fat? Well son, he’s full of lard.  

How does he fit in the chimney, when he comes? 
His belly is so fat and he has such big buns!
I brushed that one off with a little smile
but his brain was ticking over all the while. 

Santa needs to be rewarded for the gifts that he might leave,
so he ran off to the kitchen looking very pleased.
With a cookie on a plate and a glass of milk in hand
he returns, places them under the tree on a tray of sand.

I asked of him, how will Santa ever get thin? 
My son he replied with a curious grin.
If he has a beer instead, it might warp his head
then other children may find, there’s no presents left behind! 

Then off to bed he went without another peep
and just when I thought he was sound asleep,
into the lounge room he silently did creep,
I didn't notice till he tickled my feet!

Then startled I was with the question he asked, 
the answer to find was a more challenging task.
Why are you yelling and bouncing on Santa's knee?
Glad it was dark and he could not quite see.

Well son, a present mummy wanted from Santa this year 
was to fix her sore back but Santa couldn't hear. 
With that he said "good, I hope he fixed your back"
then off he ran to check in his Christmas sack. 

Written by
Vicki Darcy 

Details | Free verse | |

Want to tickle your funny bone

I want to make you laugh so hard
That you will fall out of the chair
What makes a person go to the bathroom so much?
Is it something they eat or is it something that eats them?
Would you do that again?
Now think back what was your bad experience with the opposite sex?
Did you have any?
So how do you know what you have is good?
Would you rather someone run to you or you run to them?
Wow you are stuck up, aren’t ya?
You can’t do either
Oh my goodness you need help big time
Would you jump out of the plane if it is on fire?
What?  You would?
You mean you'd rather be a cream of wheat instead of roasted turkey?
Ah too funny
I don’t think you know what you want 
Until you face it
Such as want more or want nothing
Would you ask or would you prefer not ask?
Would you say or would you keep silent?
Would you share or would you hold up?
I got you
I know you inside out
Would you say I do or would you say I don’t?
Don’t matter
You are still figuring it out

Details | Free verse | |

Maybe I am just another monkey

If you sit a monkey in front of a computer
There is a chance, no matter how far flung
That if it presses buttons at random
It will type a magnum opus
Well, I took a dictionary today
And guess what
The words were always there
I just picked and rearranged them

Details | Free verse | |


Cowboys aren’t smart.
They are from California and the tale of how the West was won.
They ride horses and make movies that many times is watched by dudes.

Cowboys are smart.
They are from California and how the West was won.
They ride horses and rope cattle and build log cabins that they say is their seat in Heaven.

Cowboy movies are liked by many and they always want to fight Indians.
A cowboy can be a real idiot and when he wants to be a genius, he is real witty.

Cowboys and how the West was won.
Very funny…

Details | Free verse | |

Chemicals Vs The Human Race

Used to worry about polluting the air,
Now it's food,
Gotta read labels,
Those scientific fourteen letter ingredient(s) 
Might do crazy things to your hair!

Look up and down isles, 
My stomach feels out of place
All I'm looking for is real food
Seems most the world and I don't work at the same pace

If I'm getting attacked my an asteroid,
Maybe Top Ramen
Maybe Oreos
Maybe McDonald’s
Maybe, just maybe Spaghettios
But everyday? My body would be destroyed!

That motor oil belongs in your car
Not in fruit or a TV. Dinner 
Because the gov paid a farm!

It's become machines and chemicals 
The human race
People, come on!
We need to kick it up a notch
I know there's humans with good taste
Please don't make food
Where chemicals and flour become interlaced! 

The human race made these factors
Mother nature doesn't need to bother scaring us with her disasters
We'll wipe ourselves out or go to Mars
Too bad I'm not a fan of those candy Bars
Those would do me just right
If I'm stuck in a basement
While an asteroid hits and tries to burn us out of sight.

Details | Free verse | |

Lucky Charm

I have never been lucky enough
to come upon a four leaf clover....
maybe they only grow in Ireland.

Find a penny, pick it up,
and all day you will have good luck...
my fortune didn't improve by much.

I could carry a rabbit's foot
around with me in my pocket....
I guess that rabbit wasn't so lucky, though.

Every time I find a ladybug
and try to capture it in a jar....
it just flies away from me.

I could pry a horseshoe
from a pony's hoof....
which is harder than you think.

But, I think I would rather have you
as my lucky charm,
you are as rare as a four leaf clover,
you are worth a lot more than a penny,
you are as gentle as a rabbit's foot or a ladybug,
and you are luckier than a horseshoe,
because you were much easier to find.

Details | Free verse | |

RIP Curfew

Thank you for being in my life,
to think you were only broken twice,
you taught me how not to be late,
and how to get my timing straight,
my mother made you and loved you too,
she stayed up at night to make sure you show true,
I'm not going to say I'm happy you're gone
but i do rue the day you were spawn 
now that I'm 18, you've done your job, 
I'm happy you will no longer make my heart throb,
with every minute that i am late,
made my life full of hate,
so thank you curfew, and thanks a lot,
now my own schedule will take your spot.

Details | Free verse | |

we can't date if

I see you standing at the bar and I like you
Such a sexy body I could one night you
But it takes a lot more than looks for me to wife you
But we can’t date if the number of men you’ve slept with is higher than your IQ

I don’t mind if we speak every night
Don’t mind telling you how I feel deep inside
As long as you let me keep my pride
But we can’t date if you’re uploading half-naked pics for retweets and likes

Give me your all and you will get it back
You will get it returned with interest
Have no issue with treating you like a princess
But we can’t date if you can’t accept my past

Girl I don’t mind you being a diva
But we can’t date if you disturb me when I play FIFA
We can’t date if you use a knife and fork to eat pizza
Most importantly we can’t date if you try & make me listen to Justin Bieber

Why make me choose? I like feisty brunettes and tall blondes
I’ll pick you up where you fall from
And be there when you need someone to call on
But we can’t date if you talk when the football’s on 

Details | Free verse | |

Oh hoy

I just want to write funny poems from now on
No more bull shit
Pardon my French
I am tired of always trying
Whether it’s something new 
Or something old
Don’t want to do that no more
It can come if it wants to
I ain’t going to get it
There make up my mind
In one second flat
Did I make it clear?
I think so
Who cares 
And who knows
Running with the wind
As usual
But this time it ain’t be against the darn wind
I said it
It’ ll be whatever
Don’t care
Don’t wanna
Come if you want to
Not gonna

Details | Free verse | |



I don’t mean to be ….GGRRRRRR
to the genetics of the genome…BUT

my legs are too short
my body’s too long
my gut hangs so low
I can’t wear a thong

my ears….they get stepped on
by me….not by others
I can’t scratch my nose
only my brothers

and don’t even ask
in the snow…..what I do
for before I can circle
the whole thing turns…

with legs oh so short
you may think it funny
to see me pass by
a skateboard ‘neath my tummy

then there are those
who dare to suggest
that I was conceived
during Octoberfest

My head may bulge out
and my tail may bulge in
but I’m a damn good looking dog
for the shape that I’m in.

submitted to Rob Carmack – Dachshunds – Poetry contest

Details | Free verse | |

Kung phew

Over the years I've spent many hours 
And a lot of money
On trying to master
The ancient art of kung fu
Just like other students do.

Then one night on TV
An advert saying
Master the art of kung fu
In half an hour
For free!.

So I put on my king fu suit
And travelled to the place
And suddenly a very old Chinese  man
With a long beard on his face

Out of nowhere
He produced a jar full of bees
Opened the jar
And set them free.

Well the students threw 
Their arms and legs
Punches and kicks
all over the place
At a lightening pace.

We were all awarded
A belt of the highest degree
Now I'm not scared of anyone
Thanks to the Chinese man
And his jar of bees.

''Did you hear the one about the karate expert who joined the army,
 and killed himself on the first day  the first day? 

He saluted.''

Peter Dome.copyright.2914.march.

Details | Free verse | |

I am not staring

No darling, I am not staring at her curvy hips
Trust me, I am not looking at her luscious lips
No, I am not beckoned by her big brown breasts
Neither am I lusting for her perfect long legs

Her sleeveless, bare-back blouse is nothing
Just like her six foot frame that’s fit for modeling
I didn’t even notice the short skirt she is wearing
Not even her cleavage, shiny bracelet or earring

Who cares if she has spotless, silky-smooth skin
Or that she has a pointed, picture-perfect chin
Baby you better believe me because it is true
You thought I was staring but I was thinking of you

Details | Free verse | |

The Chair Of Doom by Stephen Curtis

There is sweat pouring down my face like a river
And I’m shaking all over with utter terror
Slowly, unwillingly, my feet drag me in the direction
To the place where my horrible fate lays waiting

Oh God! What have I done to deserve this?
One on each side they flank me, there is no escape
They lead me into the grey room, I cast my eyes about
There it sat, in the middle, looking deathly ominous

It was the chair of doom, waiting for me, almost alive
They escorted me to it and I had to sit myself down
The arms wrapped around as if to prevent escape
Next to it, were the instruments that would be used

Now that I was in the chair what was to happen was inevitable
It was only a matter of counting down the remaining minutes
Then I heard those dreaded words, those fateful words
“Open your mouth, let’s see which tooth is giving you trouble”

Details | Free verse | |

Subconscious On My Mind

She visits in my dreams,
A place that I love to go,
For when my body is sleeping;
My subconscious starts to show.

She is not the same as when I’m awake,
She is fierce and unafraid; 
She watches over the pillows,
Where my head is soundly laid. 

She has wings just like an Angel,
Only hers are made of light;
With brilliant rainbow hues,
Enough to shine throughout the night. 

To me she looks much older,
Maybe even wise; 
One look at me and I know,
She can see right through my lies.

For her and I are one,
No hiding from the truth;
She understands that I’m growing,
Developing from my youth. 

She never passes judgment,
For herself would be included;
Her thoughts are always brilliant;
And never convoluted.  
I’m referring to my soul;
Aged throughout my lives.
She gives my words their meanings;
And my body is what she drives.

Inspiring my movements,
And wiping all of my tears;
Her voice is mine but rings through,
My head and out my ears. 

Perhaps it’s her who is writing this,
Giving me the rhyme;
My subconscious and my consciousness;
Working together for all of time. 

Although most won’t understand this,
That it is about a different part of me,
Tonight under the full-moon;
I’m setting my spirit free.

Allowed to dance in the stars,
And run across the sky;
Only to return to our body,
Suppressing her urge to fly. 

Details | Free verse | |

Methane Bertha

Her name was Methane Bertha
And if you met you'd know why
There's always a southern wind blowing
Everyone she meets holds their nose
And then says goodbye.

She eats nothing but sprouts coffee and beans
She has a massive deriaire and isn't very clean
Bertha once had a date
At last it was her fate
But it's so hard to kiss someone
With a gas mask on your face.

Her best friend smelly Janet
Had a lovely thought
She bought Bertha a present
in the shape of a cork.

Bertha placed it carefully
Where the sun doesn't shine
But the gas just built up inside of her
She grew like a balloon
And floated in the air.

The fire brigade was called 
And they rushed as fast as they can
But soon as they saw it was Bertha
They turned around and hastily dropped their plan.

Eventually the cork flew out
And Bertha landed safely upon the ground
With a very long southern wind kinda sound.

One day Bertha was out in town
And everyone around ran away
It was methane Bertha
And they knew a southern wind would blow them away.

Well one day Bertha met her man
He had a constant cold
So didn't understand.

He was a trumpet player called Angelo from Peru
It wasn't long before she had learned to play the trumpet too
That southern wind would give out a cheerful tune
And very soon
They gave outside concerts
Around the world
And run their car on methane
And would blow together so romantic
Under the stars and moon.

If ever you see Bertha
My advice to you
Is to wear a close peg on your nose
Like the locals do.

Peter Dome.copyright.2014. July.

Details | Free verse | |

Just do it

 For poets love people day.June 30th.

Poets love people
People love poets
Everyone is a poet
Even if they don't know it.

You just have to string some words together
That rhyme
Any topic will do
Just write what's on your mind.

Everyone should have a go
No matter it your a belly dancer in Timbuktu
A Sheppard tending flocks 
On a hillside in Peru
A ventriloquist in Japan
Doesn't matter if your a child woman or man
Can't do it?
Oh yes you can!. just do it!.

''Errr now what can I write about? uhmmmmmmmmm!!!!!
Can think of anything. think I'll leave it.

Peter Dome.copyright.2014. June.

Details | Free verse | |

Homo not-so-Sapiens

Humanity’s first born child
Sits, wondering what to do
First Africa, then the world, the seven seas
And then space - the final frontier
He’s the first in line for world domination,
But first he’s got to put the competition
To extinction

A lion never apologised,
For being majestic
Nor will a blue whale ever,
For being gigantic,
But for being human however,
I am apologetic
The burden of knowing,
The gift of dreaming,
Of loving,

On a quest for subsistence
An ape stumbled upon reason
And evolved logic
To escape the prehistoric
We came down from the trees,
To go up skyscrapers
And formulated mathematics
To go supersonic
Into a space age so scientific
We the Philosophers,
World War I needed a sequel,
To impact on our conscience,
Or did it?

So we his offsping have conquered,
We the party animals,
We the immortals,

Details | Free verse | |

Motes And Mites


The scent of fresh waxed floors comes back to me 
Along with school bell rings of youth alert “Oh Hurry kids come in”
The peeling laughter of my peers as they shove through  
Streamed lined for education & goof- idle jokes ”It’s in the auditorium!”

The contest has begun and so begins the fun 
Each one of us picks up  a pie and aims” So sorry Gianna Felucci”
“I remember cooking class, and how she salted cake” 
“We failed home-ec because of YOU, “Smack! You wear the Pie”

While all the children laughed, no I did not  
My heart was mixed as they pinned the ribbon on my chest, my sin 
Was to give you sweet revenge, oh how that bites 
But then again, our brains were small, like tiny motes and mites 

Written by: Mystic Rose 
October 11, 2014
Contest: Plenitude of pies  

Details | Free verse | |

Silver Bells

Glimpsing his velvet silhouette amid the locker rooms shower...
Bronzed beauties masculine muscular physique; hypnotized by surprise ??
This golden stallion stirring emotions deep inside i never knew but could dare deny
Every ripple as every breath; feeling the blood, rushing to my head; making my way 
Unto his stall flowing locks, sandy blonde hair glistening droplets; crystals, hazel eyes. 

................................... * Smile, A Poem For Fun, LOL. ~  

Details | Free verse | |

Western Suicide

It’s no secret
I would rather be dead
Than alive
If I were in a western movie
The poster would read:
“Wanted Alive, Death 
Would make him too Happy.”
Can you imagine how that might
Play out in Hollywood and 
Spaghetti westerns?
No more wild gunfights
No more knives in the back
They would have to be tricky
Conniving and even smart 
To bring their man back alive.
At every turn he would beg them to hang him
Give me a dose of horse pills.
Could you tighten these handcuffs up till I bleed?
No one wants a suicidal prisoner
Let’s face it they are just no fun.
And of course you would need a counselor along
To make sure that if he needed to talk there was somebody there.
I mean who wants to talk to some grunting cowboy
Who’s cleaning the cow manure out of his teeth?
Yes the West would have been won in a gentler more feeling
Without great escapes and liars.
Just simple folk telling the truth about how they feel.
I know it makes me feel better; although I still want to die...

Details | Free verse | |


Oh Goddess, Little Debbie,
Queen of all Saturated Fat,
Sometime of Swiss, which is called Roll,
Now of the delightful Court of Nutty Bars,
I respectfully esteem your Zebra Cakes,
I salute your Cosmic Brownies
And I kiss your empty boxes of Oatmeal Crème Pies.

It can’t be, Oh Goddess,
The tasty chomps of your Honey Buns,
Nor that of your delicious and calorie-laden Donut Sticks,
Which causes me now to wear plus sizes.
But since this is your respectful tribute, Oh Goddess,
It seems appropriate to me to proclaim
According to a greedy and overeating custom,
That I complete one roll of your Powdered Donuts.
Your face, Oh Goddess,
Is so adored that I placed a lovely tattoo
On each layer of my 4-layer belly,
Such as a memorial
Or the obsession
Or my adulation.
It is like the cow coming through chocolate-covered grass,
Yet a bit different,
For the grass is not chocolate-covered,
Only carpet and I am the cow.
Loving you, Oh Goddess,
I love all of your consequences;
But I imagine
That even if I did not love you
I would love the sweetness of even your crumbs,
And my fatness, shaped in the honor of all your snacks.


Details | Free verse | |

If Jane Were a Feminist


What's with that yelling already?

Me Tarzan, Me Man, Me Make Noise

I can see that.  Inside voice, please.
You'll wake up Cheetah and you know
How grumpy he gets if his nap is interrupted

Me Tarzan

Enough, I know already
Me hungry, Jane make lunch

Now wait a minute Jungle Boy, I'm tired
Of waiting on you hand and foot
Make your own lunch

Woman take care of Man, Woman listen to Man, Law of Jungle

Says who?


That doesn't impress me, loin cloth breath!

Jane talk funny since trip to Ameeereeka

Listen here tree vine jockey, I learned a lot in New Joysee
Women have rights, they used to burn their bras

What is bras, me no understand

Didn't think so.  Either you treat me with respect or I'm out of here!

Where Jane go?

Maybe back to New Joysee

Tarzan listen Jane
Jane teach Tarzan respect

Now you're talking
First lesson, what's for lunch?

Details | Free verse | |

Just In Case

We should always be prepared for a just in case situation. You would say- just in case for what? I will tell you - just in case for whatever. Just in case you want to cry - be prepared to smile. Just in case you want to fight - take a hike. Just in case you want to give in - be prepared to to say no. Just in case you lose your way - be prepared to let someone take your hand. Just in case you are feeling blue - call your best friend to be with you. Just in case your sun didn't come out today - be prepared - for it will shine tomorrow. Just in case you had a bad hair day today - smile" You are not the only one...
01/25/2013 written by Lucilla M. Carrillo

Details | Free verse | |

Croaking,my song

Deep in to the woods by spring
my quest by daybreak for croaking, 
frog croaking, nature enthusiast‘s song,
hit upon by the fag end, a puddle,
frogs, a few in high spirits hopping,
something took the winds out of my sails!
whopping snake, old inactive by water,
these frogs take the snake a worm,
took me back to an old proverb:
when the snakes get old, 
the frogs get him by the balls!
laughing I too tried some croaking! 
great nap my song all around!

Details | Free verse | |

Love Hurts - The Symptoms

Thoughts displaced by rolling palpitations,
From left to right grow these numbing sensations,
A face which spirals down, drooping from smile to frown.

Time hibernates in this moment protracted,
Legs bow and shake to our drama just acted,
Senses into overdrive, does pain show you’re still alive?

Oxygen masks, Coxes’ rowing commands,
Heart beat machines is what love demands,
“You need time to relax”, prescriptions from Quacks,
Is love just a commonplace heart attack?

Details | Free verse | |


we all cheer for someone with personnA
we applaud those with humorous retorT
love can come with one whom we trusT
while polite demeanor shall carry us faR
refrain from self infatuation, cleave the I 
from your self posturization.  never curB
whom insists they present thanks to yoU.  
laugh at the bad joke tho’ it were a treaT
a happier you will glean what you're duE

©  Feb 22 2010      Charles Henderson

Details | Free verse | |

Dog Patch

He can’t remember a lot of what it used to be like;
And he’s having trouble remembering the sound of the voice
       He’s thought about calling but;
       A dime doesn’t make a phone call anymore does it?
Did he ever worry—maybe a couple times when no one was looking;
But mostly he was too busy making sure he was swimming with the tide.
       He also tried to make sure he didn’t miss anything
       But he seems to have misplaced something’s he didn’t want to lose.
He knew about keeping the dog’s off the door but;
That didn’t work out so well because;
      Now he knows why the coyote never caught up;
      He was at one of his old hangouts hoping the fence.

Details | Free verse | |

keep thinking

f you think 
that at some point 
you will finally 
what it means
keep thinking

Details | Free verse | |

Her First Try

She is a fine cook 
It didn't come by chance
She was trained by her family
She practiced day and night

She had to learn to cook
For many in her life
Her husband was particular
And she was a dutiful wife

She told us all a story 
Early in martial bliss
She made a beautiful cake
Spent hours creating it

She waited in anticipation
To feed her only man
A chocolate spearmint cake
She thought would be grand

Her husband was so excited 
To dare take a bite
She looked at him with hope
That it was a delight

Instead his look was sour
His eyes closed tight
He said this cake tastes lousy
Not another bite

Details | Free verse | |

I Never Eat What Has a Face

True earth 
crowded with the familiar facial form:
chalked on concrete
crayoned by children, 
squirted on birthday cakes, 
in camera with teeth all whitened, 
portraited, imitated, formulated. 

We don't wake up 
until we see it. 
We plaster it on 
birds or cats or pigs. 
We laugh and laugh. 
How much these creatures 
imitate. want to be us, 
replace us, take part with us.

We don't honor the fishes, 
except maybe the friendliest kind. 
Resent the arthropod,  lobster, 
spider, insect 
that appear to spite us.

Details | Free verse | |

Shut The Hell Up by Steve Curtis

Shut The Hell Up

Author: Steve Curtis

Singing in the shower
Singing my song
Cats are caterwauling
Dogs howling along
Rooster is crowing
Wants to drown me out
Magpies are calling
Such a din I've never heard
Kookaburras laughing
Who's that knocking on my wall
Shouting, shut the hell up
~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Posted: Fri Sep 2, 2011 1:28 PM WET

This was one of the first poems I read by Stephen Curtis he is from Adelaide it has been
read an incredible 28230 times Steve kindly gave me permission to post it here
Try his new book called  together Through Life which is a collection of 8 poets work

Details | Free verse | |


I'm lying sunning myself the heat on my golden baked skin makes me languid I sip at a glass of wine letting it slip down my parched throat my back is turned to you I needed privacy with my thoughts you lightly touch my nape and trace my spine down to where the g-string now wet with perspiration unsuccessfully tries to cover my modesty I hold my breath hoping that you would explore further but you stop reluctantly I turn to look at you the *rain spider looks back at me perspiration ice cold on my naked skin
*rain spider: similar to the tarantula, but non-poisonous

Details | Free verse | |

Go Figure those Weeblitz Cry the Walliforth

“Go Figure…Those Weeblitz”… cry the Walliforth!
By Ingrid Showalter Swift

Of Walliforth...the Dreggors Gorth!
with calls of frobulation
The Spraliwongs do bleet and frong 
In roudious trapulation
the Wonder Bigiums flaunt their sternest defra-get-ulation!!!

but  still moril !
in magical mill…… in marvelous migration…
the Weeblitz sing 
a lilty wing
…………………of stupendous  

Details | Free verse | |

Can money buy love 2

Value people they worth more than money
Money is worth spending as people are worth loving
People are the currency you need to get what you desire
People will make you know people that will give you the money
People will provide the avenue you will make the money
Through employment, business contracts and projects

Value people without their money
Value people with your money
Value people they are worth more than money
Value people they are the asset you possess
Value people since they are the clothes we wear

People are those you need to make the money you want
People are those you need to build your reality
People are those you need to believe in your ability
People are those you need to invest in your creativity
People are those you need to influence your personality

People are those you need to make you a celebrity
People are those you need to inspire your originality
Be loyal to people than your money
Build a network of people and your money will serve you
Spend people wisely and invest in people prudently
Since money is worthless without people and 
People are senseless without love

Value People more than money
Since those who have people possess the money
Since those you know, know those who know where the money is
People are those who crack your ribs with their humorous laughter
People are those who irritate you and make you annoy others
People are those who make you like or dislike marriage relationship
People are those you spend your time with and your money on
People are those who share with you in your down times and up times
People are those who you share your emotions and intentions with

What is the essence of your money 
Without people to spend it with
What is the essence of your money 
Without people to share their love with you
What is the essence of your money
Without people to identify with you

People are worth cherishing without prejudice
People are lovely to be with and painful to live with
People are beautiful to smile with and sorrowful to depart from
People are enjoyable to let-go and horrible to stay-with
People are precious and pious… people are gorgeous and glorious

People are saints…people are demons
People are angels sent by God and the devil’s advocate
People are the devil you know
People are the angel you don’t know
People are the demons masquerading as the angel of light
So love people and respect people
Since your money is worthless without them around you
To celebrate with you and mourn with you

Details | Free verse | |

I Was Wrong



Details | Free verse | |

Just as if I'd

rocking the boat                                                                                                -    Hey Hey what are you doing                                                                                            There is a snake

Details | Free verse | |

Imagining Another You

Imagine one another.
 Imagine the other.
Imagine -
 To be the other of you.
 How is your other you?
 How are you too?
Have faith in this accident of fate game;
 Role play your prevailing freewill 
 with a roll of the loaded dice.
Mirrors -
 To seem mirrors -
 A myriad of mirrors face-down your wall,
 Unfolding and folding their gazing.
 See how they reflect and refract the chrysalis -
 The shadow play.
Do your anthems different remain the same?
 So, does your birth right?
 Do you empathise with,
 Or even recognise the re-mirrored frame?
 And the game, 
 That's anything but a game.
 Facing opposite the familiar rules,
 Does your difference seem in play?
Imagine, imagine,
 Wishing to understand your other,
 And imagine uncovering the path
 you might together discover -
 Almost like there is no other.

Details | Free verse | |

You Can Be

What would anyone do
if I woke up one day
and decided I was
going to be the next
That I was going to steal my fathers gun,
and of course I start with him,
the feelings so rough,
tears bursting from my eyes.
I move on to my mother,
my brother,
my grandparents,
and with every kill
the emotion ebbs away.
Things get easier.
What would anyone do
if that day I
proclaimed to the world
that I no longer wanted to
live in this world?
I created the noose
from my old Playstation 3 controller cords,
wrote my last words
"To the world, **** you"
and made an ornament
out of myself on the
back of my bedroom door.
What would anyone do
if I decided one day that
The world is full of pixies and unicorns!
that everything was red,
oh but not the light fire red,
but instead the color of blood,
oh how magnificent things look!
I work for the trolls under
the bridge behind my house
he pays me in finger nails!
You told me I can be anything,
do anything,
so why do you look at me like I'm crazy?
I see the fairies, not you,
so who are you to say I'm insane?
They tell me I'm perfectly alright.
I never really understand why
people were comforted by such an obvious phrase,
I KNOW I can do whatever I want!
Just like Jim Jones wanted to
control and murder 1,000 people,
just like how the people of Rwanda
murdered each other;
brothers, fathers, neighbors fighting each other.
So what if I want to conquer china,
put rat poison in all the exports
and watch the world die,
its my decision right?
you told me so,
and I'll plead that,
I'll plead that you told me
I can murder the whole world,
start the zombie apocalypse,
destroy all animals in the world,
when I'm up in that electric chair.
Hello my future,
Good-bye Sanity.

Details | Free verse | |

Hail to the Dragon Slayers

We know we are right and we will fight
If you dare appose us we will bite
When good doers think they have a chance
We take their idea and we do the dance
We are the law that makes the choice
And no one can keep their face in a good poise
Because we will smack them with a hammer
As we see them we will make them stammer
Just because we are justice
And we try to do some odd practice
Now we will get back on track
We the people take charge and attack
Wait, what are we attacking? the people that are not right
Oh! thats just my brothers and sisters oh! they are a sight
Now look here, we, we the people makes laws
It doesn't matter how many people open their jaws
I'm all confused, we are the people, did we not choose?
We are, but certain people are just to loose

Fine, this is what the new law we want to appose
Why? because we are confused about what we chose
Using we as a word is to many
It takes all of us even granny
So this is what we want to do, is put I and you separate
And the other that we are to choose to elaborate
I am going to say this, we are to many individuals
So we separate the ones who are good doers
That does not make sense
To put all the yous and I's in a group, it's just dense
Are you with me? no I am with myself in this
I am going to rub it in your face and be in a bliss
So I will do the justice myself, and you has decide to disobey
This is what I mean to do, and it will be O.K.
Debating myself is some what kinda weird
You need to be by my side because we make choices better
So this time you and I will just make justice a letter

The clue is what we do that is some what true
It's funny when words play a game to argue the virtue
When I mean I, I mean I, and when I say you, it is you
When I say we, it is us, and that is what my argument is all about, too.
Fifty, fifty is what the Dragon Slayer is saying, it becomes no greater nor smaller
We are all at fault and our decisions that we have made is for all of us to stand taller
Even when it is wrong and we do things to put down the strong
And our arguments become pointless and long
Our justice is when we started to put it on paper and making it a law that stand
So all of us, in the long run will simply decide to band

Details | Free verse | |

Adopt a Snow Leopard Today part 1

Adopt a snow Leopard the TV ad said
Just £5 a month
So I signed up straight away
I forgot all about it
until there was a knock on the door one day
I opened the door and just saw two delivery men
run away.

And  there before my door
was a large crate
that wasn't there before
There was a label
saying ''this is Fred
handle carefully or you
maybe dead''.

Well I scratched my head
then the penny dropped
as I heard a mighty roar
Never had a cat as a pet before.

I opened the crate carefully
and much to my surprise
With a huge snow leopard with massive sharp teeth
and wild angry eyes
I didn't know what to do
but I needed new underpants
and I was petrified.

''Here kitty'' I said I guess it wasn'twell fed
by the way it bit my leg ouch!
I was as angry as a thunderstorm
and shouted very loud
and Fred got back in the cage
at the back and coward.

Soon I realized Fred was just a scaredy cat
and not a fearsome monster at all
He loved having his belly stroked 
and playing with a ball.

We'd go everywhere together
and in the stores we'd always get straight to the front of the cue
We'd run through through fields of lavender
and taste the morning dew.

Then one morning I got a letter
''We want Fred back he's so rare
 we want to put him in a zoo''

I thought not bloomin likely
but what could I do?

To be continued.

On a serious note, Snow Leopards are very rare, so are mountain Gorillas, only 180 left. They are trapped and killed for trophies and fur. They were here long before is. they need our help. The World wildlife fund and other such charities rely on donations.

Peter Dome.copyright.2013. Dec.

Details | Free verse | |

Thoughts Aloud

No matter who,

No matter where,

No matter when,

It only matters why and what for.



Yesterday was early,

Tomorrow will be late,

Today I have no time.



You can’t train in a gym?

 You want to look young and slim?

Stay close to the old ones and fat.

There are many ways to skin a cat.



Sometimes I think:

Here is my happiness.

But after a drink for two

I see that it’s just another experience.



I am allergic to Scotch.

When I drink a lot of it

My tongue begins to itch.



I am on the seventh heaven!

I am here a baron!

Don’t place a ladder

If you don’t want to be a scrapper!

I will never go down

As I don’t want to be a clown!



SMS from someone’s wife:

Went to the place you’ve sent,

I understand what you’ve meant.

Behave here like a whore and ask myself:

Why didn’t I listen to you before?



A good thought means a lot.

It’s orgasm of the brain

Which you have to train.

If you experience it

You’ll get fun.

Others who imitate it

 Just get a mock sun.



When we were young,

When we were young,

Lovely nonsense was on the tongue.


©Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)

Details | Free verse | |

Oxymorons of Note

Political Science
Temporary Tax
Blind Justice
Racial Harmony
Eternal Youth
Honest Lawyer, Car salesman etc.
Utopian Society
Egalitarian Government
Free Lunch

Details | Free verse | |

How to properly fly a flag

It must be great to have a solid flag pole
But if the flag does not move what good is the pole?
You might try a few different flags but again they 
need to fly and not hang limply on the pole
The flag pole owner need to be able to get the flags 
to fly properly or the pole is useless

Of course there are as many types of flags as there are poles
it can be hard to figure out if they will fit properly on the pole
Some are light with no weight, they look pretty and flutter wonderfully for a while
but they rip and wear out

Then there are flags that have been folded securely in their packages
they can be a sight to behold when they are unfurled at the top of the pole
When the right flag is hoisted it usually means no other flag is needed
The pole owner can look at the flag on his pole with pride
what a flag this is flying on his pole and it is really moving well
of course all this means is that it is a sturdy flag pole and
it can't be bent in the wind
Sometimes strong winds do come blowing the flags away 
sadly leaving the pole empty
It is a shame to see an empty pole with the flag gone
or a new flag not fully hoisted to the top
half mast does not cut it
People really need to take proper care of their sturdy pole so
that it is not made useless and bent out of shape
it would be a shame not to be able to fly a flag

of course some people do not know how to fly a flag properly
it gets all tangled in the ropes, what a waste of a pole
people do need to take proper care so their pole is always useful
If it is not proud and erect the flag looks tired
we need to be proud of our flags and poles
Our flag needs to be proud of being hoisted on the pole

Poem was written after hearing some bragging. I could not resist
providing my perspective on the subject. He was not amused. 

Details | Free verse | |

red and blue

red and blue divides us
it sets us besides us
into extremes of left and right
views as different from day and night

i like red
i like blue
but i am not fond of purple
blue is my favorite color
but red are my views

read and blue, blue and red
blue, blue. blue
red, red, red
could they ever unite us?
color us apart
red down blue up
blue down red up

maybe we should add 
and be one again
or a least disagree and be friends
Red White and Blue
now that's American

Details | Free verse | |

Celebration of Saint Patrick's Day

Thousands will don the colour green.
A celebration for all who are Irish,
'Or Not', parades, many good cheers,
And of course a pint of green beer.
Irish soda bread and lamb, green bean stew,
Completes the Irish celebration and feast.

Bellies full of food and drink, a dare is called,
"Let's find the treasure of the leprechaun."
A mystical and clever elf with pointed ears,
Turned up toes, and clad in green and red.
He enjoys partaking in mischief, it is said.
As the legend goes, he stores away coins of gold.
Before he's ever captured by any human at all,
Magic powers he'd use to vanish in a blink of an eye.
All hopes of finding the pot of gold would be lost.
"Look near the misty stream in hollows of the trees."
One fellow yelled out and the others all followed.

It's 'The Luck O' The Irish' as they say in Ireland.
Dreamers and love that's always the Irish's way.
Especially on Saint Paddy's Day even if the elf got away.

For Isaiah Zerbst's contest, "Irish Poem"

Details | Free verse | |

Positive Feedback Psycho Destroyer

Here's a unique kind of troll.
He trawls eBay to seduce sellers kiss-blowing
hundred percent positive feedback after their letters;
Those sellers that truly adore their customers proud,
Mesmerised by their own encore-bows..

 And that's when he strikes,
That's when he pounces:
Scoping them from his subterranean below-the-radar watchtower,
He buys stuff he neither wants or needs,
Only so he can destroy sellers positive feedback.

 Just for that? Yes. 
He loves destroying sellers one-hundred percent positive feedback.
Well we all need a hobby.
Welcome to the twenty-first century.

 For he is the King Neg Feedback Man.
The Genghis Attila Neg Feedback Man.
He leaves neg feedback because..? He can?

 Your bubblewrap made the wrong popping sound.
The packaging was grey; I prefer light brown.
The rubber duck you sold me is unrealistically buoyant;
I couldn't drown it - imagine my disappointment.

 Roaring scornful vapour trails his neg feedback warlord lust,
Grinds yet another gobsmacked seller pitilessly into pixillated dust..
Another old lady, mashed, weeps into her rusks;
It was her late husband's cardigan,
She didn't ask for much,
But no, still he ruthlessly blancmanged her baby-boomer,
love-not-bombs bone-ashing collapsing face with neg feedback.
She'll never get over that.

 She'll never get over that..
Her dead husband's cardigan got neg feedback.
Her granny farm cell is now the Heartbreak Hotel,
Memories of her husband's cardigan swirl down swallowed 
to where troll demons dwell.
The ravines on her face deeper than Martian sands.
Tears for her bedpan.
Tears for her bedpan.
Her name is Roxanne.

 And lo, let it be written,
As the years roll on by,
Under different false names, accounts and guises,
He will continue to traumatise, baffle, vaporise and tyrannise
the positive feedback prize-agonizers -
Fazing and hazing,
Liquidising and mayonnaising them with neg feedback.

 He doesn't seem angry, bitter or twisted;
He's never been bullied or abused;
He's never had a penchant for sniffing badgers - or glue,
(or sniffing badgers that sniff glue).
His kids love him,
His wife, his mistress, his goldfish, his garden gnomes do too.
He just loves buying things so he can leave neg feedback.

 Your old man's cardigan smells of plastic buttons.. 

 See, it's just his hobby,
It's just his aphrodisiac,
It's just the way he blows his stack,
It's how he gets his black back into even more black.
He just loves leaving negative feedback.
It's as simple as that.
Some people are just like that.
It's that deep.

Details | Free verse | |

Poem for Mama

I wanted to write a song for my mother
Then I thought Boyz 2 Men’s "Song for mama”
	So discouraged I got
As confused as I was
I then decided to write a letter for my mother
	Just when I wrote ‘Dear Mother’
Tu Pac's Dear Mama came into mind
	There my Lord, wasted paper and ink!!!!

I then asked my Zulu friend help write a Zulu song
We thought of going the line Mama Wami
Again Deborah Frasers’ Mama Wami came in mind
	Not only once, but she did it again as
Britney Spears by singing Mzali Wami
I never got angry at her, but disappointed in myself.

I wanted to write a song that expresses the joy
	That my mom goes through when she sees me
My Zulu friend had something like ‘u mama u ya jabula’ in mind
Bother not say it loud, I said
For Bra Hugh wrote the same words
Tho my friend tried, but was not enough

I decided to apologize to mama
For I couldn’t write her nothing
I took a pen and paper and wrote
	'Mama I am sorry'
With just four words, 
Brenda Fassies’ Mama I am sorry came in mind 
For I can’t write what our eminent legend wrote
Not only did she apologize to mama
She also said it was too late for mama
	Ohh Sis Mabbrr, sure your legacy lives on

Still as I am struggling to find words for my mom
I got so fired up inside
As boiling as I was
I somehow managed to calm myself down
	Just the way Jesus calmed the sea

As creative as I wanted to be
There was no much for me
For much words has been used
	Only the good ones rather
I then decided to write a Poem for Mama
Ssshhh listen to this.....

Details | Free verse | |

Currry flavoured computer

I'm afraid to say
I spilled a plate of Ruby curry
Allover my computer
And now it's sadly dead
I was so upset with myself I went to bed
I cleaned it the best I coold
But still also it was' no good
Now I have to have it repaired
Good job I have computer on my TV
I fell so silly
Curry and computers don't mix
Don't TRy it at home
Or it will cost a lot to fix.

Anyone want to buy a computer cheap?.

RIP Ethel.

Peter Dome copyright 2914.Aug.

Details | Free verse | |

Weeding The Moonscape Of My Back Garden

Weeding the
moonscape of my back
Truly, it's a big
Weeding the
moonscape of my back
My nerves shredding:
The concrete weeds,
I steal
myself for this task
I've delayed, I
admit, for cosmic

Bravely, finally, I
resolved and booked
one week's annual
leave -
To prepare, to
From this task that
may take up to two

I'm impelled to
Must I find the
to take on the
abysmal brat of
Fetch me a flask of
sports energy drink,
Complex sugar, I
think, my devotional

You see,
I write poetry, so
must I also do
Must I really stand
alone on that flat
dune of grey,
Pockmarked with such
monstrous green
The weeds, they are
almost thirty
centimetres, and
grimly rising!
I stare at them from
the window, I'm not
really crying.
Wouldn't you rather
I just wrote this
How many fresh dead
poets does the world
I'd like to be a
living tragic poet,
not one that weeds!
(That's too tragic,
even for me).

And, look over
there! See!
I might get bitten
by that bumblebee!
And I sneeze like a
banshee when near
Sometimes three
sneezed sneezes I
issue near weeds.
Yes, banshees do

Weeds are angry
wannabe baby trees,
I'm feeling quite
I'll already,
So ill, I've just
spelt it I'll.
Now that's I'll,
Sorry, ill.
Where's my quill?
I need to scroll the
Order some pills -
Those ones,
Exported from the
moon, made in
Those especial
potions you don't
require an ignoring
doctor to see,
I must have illegal
I'm a poet, it's my
job, silly!
And -
I. Don't. Do.
Wrestling. Weeds.

Yet, here I stand on
the precipice,
There they sway
taunting me,
The emerald streaked
posse of thorny
triffid pisse.

Well, here goes -
One small step for
man, maybe,
But one giant leap
for a poet such as

for more of my
humorous poetry just
google Suki Spangles

Details | Free verse | |


What a beautiful concept
A box to put chat in
Another pigeon for the common man
Labels so easily fit
When one seriously thinks of it
Just imagine it  if you will
A box to lock gossips in
To kill their cackle
To tighten their loose tongues
To make them quiver a little less
But not I begin to digress
Sometimes I am guilty of their  sin
To rant to rave
To become a slave to the shallow
Listening to their vile attempts
To bring humanity to its lowest ebb
A chatterbox indeed would be  handy in times of woe
To silence my myriad foes

Details | Free verse | |

Poem Abuser

This guy is that low
he could parachute
out of a snakes ars*hole,
then still free fall.

adaptation of a stage joke
by the Australia comic
Les Patterson...

© Harry J Horsman 2013

Details | Free verse | |

Enjoying my Chilies


Mouth and Tongue Red Hot!
Head Cracking and with Burning with Fumes 
Ears Steaming Crazy!


Lapping my Tongue like a dog ....AAaaaa.....
Wiping my sweaty brow....


But Still Enjoying my Chilies!

What do you expect next?
Running frantically, finding water!!

Details | Free verse | |

Torrid Love Story

I'm writing a torrid love story,
Full of scandle and intrigue and sex,
About film stars and beautiful people,
And who goes to bed with who next.

Their clothes are by famous designers,
They wear diamonds and mink and real pearls.
Their hair is just perfectly coiffured - 
And that's just the chaps, not the girls!

The hero's in love with his uncle,
And his wife's had an implant or two,
Grandfather has married the housemaid,
He's eighty and she's twenty-two.

When it's published I'll make lot's of money,
But just for a while, till I do,
I'm a little bit short on housekeeping - 
Can you lend me a fiver or two?

Details | Free verse | |

Show Me The Way To Go Hame

Hic, Hic, hiccup, oh my
had several drinks
over the last few hours
and my poor head is spinning

Hic pardon me 'tis the drink
my feet seem to be both left
I keep tripping over ouch
maybe a last one for the road

Hic that was not so wise
my hame is down this way
ohm maybe not I can't see
everything is in triplicate

"Hey there Tommy help me hame
I can not seem to find it"
"Well, Jimmy my lad, dear me
you sure are a sad sight

Looking like you fell
landing in a dirty gutter
lets get you to your hame
afore ought else happens"

Staggering along together
they heard the bells ring
"ock, New Year, hells bells
the hen will be mad at me"

I promised I would be hame
afore the midnite hour
Jimmy, came a harsh call
get your backside in here

Hey, hen do not be mad
I brought Tommy hame
he helped me after I fell
pour us a round of drinks

Let us toast in the New Year
several drinks later
not a simple peep
just the odd snore and snort

 hen scottish for partner or wife
 hame scottish for home
 midnite scottish for midnight

Details | Free verse | |

















Details | Free verse | |

John or Jane Do with a long toe

foreseeable unbalance
walk over impossible
long toes won't simplify things
tiptoeing through life

(c) Elly Wouterse

Details | Free verse | |

The Poem With No Title

This is the poem with no title.

Details | Free verse | |

A day at the office

My stomach grumbles late into the afternoon
Wishing I had that doughnut I refused
I sip a bottle of water teasing my empty stomach
Lunch was a chance that skipped by
In a sea of cubicles I drown of boredom
Clicking and picking the rhythm of technology
The smell of fresh hot pizza resinating from the east alcove
Awakens a stampede of faceless humans rushing for free eats
Connie drops by my desk with two slices
Looks like I work her overtime one more day
Globs of hot cheesy meat on dough
No game on tonight
See Connie smile
Worth it.

Details | Free verse | |


My mind began to wander down a path of banal humor.
On it's own accord.
It was some kind of sick and strange homo-erotic imagery, with a story.
It involved myself and Martin Scorsese.
A man in a lime green and plastic suit asked us,
"What are your two favorite George C. Scott performances?"
I replied without missing a beat, "Doctor Strangelove and The Hustler..."
Scorsese just smiled and laughed out loudly. His laugh echoing through a dark place.
He agreed with me 
and in a deep, harsh alien voice kept repeating the line,
"Great minds! Great minds!"
Where it went from there... I will leave to your sick, erotic imagination.
All I can say is, the man has magnetic eye's and a sublime taste in Cinematography.

Details | Free verse | |

Carry On Tabby

Small  furry, stripy, cuddly puss makes
Lots of noise as the early dawn breaks
And so the reluctant household wakes.
“Get out of bed now,
Come down and feed us for all our sakes,
We’re on our last miaow.”

The household can but do as it’s told,
This tabby cat is exceedingly bold.
So from my bed and into the cold
I creep to provide
The feline breakfasts as I was told,
With some milk beside.

This tabby cat is plump and quite cute,
Bossy and nurse-like, a real old boot,
Her every whim always bears fruit,
She bustles about.
She’s Hattie Jacques in a tabby suit,
Matronly with clout.

Her fur is sleek, her voice is sublime
What will she be like given more time?
Her bossy manner isn’t a crime.
Sometimes she holds back.
Her friend, an alpha cat in his prime
Is leader of the pack.

Details | Free verse | |


Black garments fall to the floor
Boots off, cane leaned against the door
Top hat lifts, welcoming them all

A bottle of ketchup in hand. . .

“Hello there,” He says to no one in particular
Some eyes stare upward, looking frightened
Pants slip off, skin tightened
“They don’t even smell yet…”
They will soon, I bet

I stand there like a board
In the shadows on my tip-toes 
I am caught…and yet, I’m not!
Us morticians tend to see some interesting things
But not anything like this. . . 

Black hand falls on the still, white faces
Brushing against squeaky leather. . .rubbing flesh
Gloves slide off to the ground
I watch in disbelief without a sound
Getting on the table with emaciated twins
Feeling wind on his face as the death cart spins
Slitted wrists rubbed with fingers in the crusted blood
Smiling, he removes his hood
Over them. . .ripping off their clothes
Nose to nose. . .that so-called Eskimo pose
Knife protrudes in view. . .entering within
Then the real blade comes out, and the smell begins

Why the hell am I watching all of this? 
Had I not come for one thing?
I was just on my leave when I heard the rustling
How used to the dead I am
To even the sad, lone mourners, grieving in their roam
My heart is stone cause it can’t bear to be alone
Futuristic comforts and funeralistic empathy 
So well respected am I by the honest town folk
No one would suspect a thing
I didn’t suspect a thing

But now, here he is and I am watching
So stuck in the moment, simply gawking!
I’m gagging too—hm, that’s new. . .
Does he find it kinky, sneaking into an old mortuary—
Imagining them screaming, squirting ketchup everywhere? 

I do think of calling
As the blade moves in and out of them
But my clouded eyes only stare. . .
I clutch onto the diamond necklace, 
Imagining the dead, insipid flesh that once touched it
And now how the cold chill of THIEF wraps around my neck
They  whisper it as he takes them all in
Thief. . .thief. . .tHiEf. . .THIEF!!!!!

Yes, surely she wanted the damn thing buried with her
But how would she care? 
Hah! ‘Old Mrs. Longbottom’ now ‘Ms. Ketchupbottom’. . .
Would my sin be covered by this sick tormentor of the dead? 
Handling those old, wrinkled fingers
The smell of sweet and salty tomato lingers
Thief. . .thief. . .tHiEf. . .THIEF!!!!!

He was stealing nothing from them
The dead cannot fight
Cannot possibly feel
Why then, does the glare gleaming in the dead woman’s eye
Seem so real? 
He was stealing nothing from them
The blame is all on me
Strangling my neck

Details | Free verse | |

Welcome Back

If I knew you were coming I'd bake a cake
bake a cake, bake a cake
How'd ya do,  how'd ya do, how'd ya do'd that get in my head
Must be tired. I'm going back to bed

Let's start again....
Welcome back, 
Your dreams were your ticket out. 
Welcome back, 
To that same old place that you laughed about. 
Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Back

No...No...No...that's from Welcome Back Kotter
I got it all wrong

One last try...
Long lost and nearly lost soupers
Just a quick thought or two
No need to up an leave
There will always be a place for you

Those staying or coming back
I open up my arms to you
Stay for a spell or just a little sip
Without you this place was amiss

Details | Free verse | |

A Sense of Humor Part 1 of 2

" A Sense of Humor ... "

( A Satirical Moral )

'Somewhere,  There's A Sense of Humor'
Said The Jack In The Box
'We Keep A Sense of Humor'
Said The Gambler's Tokens At The Slots

'I Don't Like Your Sense of Humor'
Said The Chicken To The Fox
'You Gotta' Have A Sense of Humor'
Said The Hounds To That Same Fox

Whatever Your Shtick Or Station In Life
And How You View Pressures, Setbacks Or Strife
May You Find Laughter - Like Gossips Find Rumors
... and Keep A Kicking Sense of Humor

'I See The Sense of Humor'
Said The Star, Acting Like A Dot
'You've A Surprising Sense of Humor'
Said The Diaper To The Tot

'You've Got A Keen Sense of Humor'
Said The Rum-Bottle To The Old Sot
'I'm A Quick-Wit, of A Sense of Humor'
Said The Bullet, To Who It Shot!

Some Find Joy In Giving Out Ridicule
More Than They Like To Receive
Yes, Laughter Is A Good Medicine Tool
... It Helps Our Lungs To Breathe

But When The Prank PointsTo Our Own
It Just Isn't Quite So Funny
If Your Life Is Spotlighted On
The Other End of A Cruel Comedy

'Can't Handle My Sense of Humor'
Said The Broken Pedal To The Steep Block
'Somewhere, There's A Sense of Humor'
Said The Rabbit In The Pot

'I Got A Twisted Sense of Humor'
Said The Bank Robber Dressed As Sasquatch
'What A Perfect Timing Sense of Humor'
Said The Handcuffs of The Cop

'You've A Funny Sense of Humor'
Said The Pelican To The Croc
'... Now Where's Your Sense of Humor?'
The Fish Asked The Pelican, Dragged From The Dock

Whatever Your Vantage On Life's Lot
Sometimes We Must Lay On Amusement's Cot
Whether We Like It A Little - Or Like It Not
Sometimes, Laughing To Keep From Crying Is All We Got

And Make Sure Your Sense of Humor
Doesn't Come Back To Bite You Like A Cougar
'Cause I Fail To See The Sense of Humor ...'
Said The Hyena To The Teeth of The Puma!

'I'll Keep 'Em Rolling With A Sense of Humor'
Said The Keys In The Car & Parking Lot
'I Had A Sense of Humor ...'
Said The Old Girl's Aching Feet, Who Forgot

'You Break Me Up With Your Sense of Humor'
Said The Window To The Rock
'You've Got A Hands On Sense of Humor'
Laughed The Tummy, Shouting Stop!

'I Got A Sly Sense of Humor'
Said The Wolf In Sheep's Clothing In The Flock
What's Black & White With A Bad Sense of Humor?'
(And The Poor Lil' Skunk, Asked ... "What?"

                   - con't. '

       Written & Copyrighted ©:  1/7/2014
                 by:  MoonBee Canady

(Part 1 of 2)

Details | Free verse | |


Witch, witch, witch
You see them in the streets
You see them in the stores
You see them standing in front doors
Witch, witch, witch
You're mother's a witch
You're sister is too
You're cousin is one
You're brother too, if he's that frufru
Witch, witch, witch
They're in the schools
They're in the town
Witches are all around
Witch, witch, witch
You can call me a witch
Call me what you will
But to you, that's MRS. *****!

Details | Free verse | |

Message in a Bottle

Enclosed find a recipe for Fruitcake It was a particular favorite around the holiday season. We had a very "dry' sense of humor.

Details | Free verse | |

I'm sure I saw a Pixie wave to me from a train

It was a warm summers day and I was walking down the lane
when suddenly
I'm sure I saw a pixie
waving to me from a train
And later I saw him again
A Pixie waving to me from a train.

''Yoo hoo''

Well! I was so surprised I scratched my head
and had to pinch myself
just in case I was dreaming in my bed.

So I carried on with my walk
down the lane
when suddenly
I heard someone laughing at me

''he he he''
I turned around to see a cheeky laughing Elf
sitting in a tree.

I tickled his Belly
and he chuckled with glee

''eee eee e''.

He was hungry
so we built a campfire
and toasted muffins for our tea.

The Elf was so thankful
he gave me three wishes
I gave them away
to the Pixie on the train I saw waving to me
from the train earlier that day.

You see sometimes
it gives you more pleasure to give than 
to those who need it
more than we.

So the next time
you see a train go by
you just might see
A Pixie on a 
wave at you
like he did to me.

Peter Dome.copyright.2013. July.

Details | Free verse | |

Love In Rotgut Saloon

Geez fella won’t you look at me,
I’ve got my best frock on.
My girdles tight, my bosom heaves
and I’m stuck here ‘til mornin’.

You’re welcome in this Rotgut bar,
but kid you heed my warnin’,
git rid that ol’ ten gallon hat, 
and don’t you start no brawlin’.

Stop fumblin’ with Sally-Anne
she’s just a broke ol’ toy.
It’s my turn for a night of fun
So come o’er here cowboy.

Hang yer belt up on the door,
ignore the ol’ grave digger,
the whisky’s cheap and I am too,
So come on, squeeze my trigger.

Details | Free verse | |


If I have a job to do I find a useful tool
For screwing in a screw I use a screwdriver
For banging in a nail I need a hammer
When I need something really hot I use a soldering Iron
When I want to remove wallpaper I use a stripper
If my tap is stuck and needs turning on I use a spanner
If I want to see sparks fly I use an electric screwdriver
If I want affection I head for my husband ….
He’s bound to have the right tool for the job

Jan Allison
10th July 2014

Details | Free verse | |

Attempting One-liners

There's no I in team, but if you're clever you can a find a "me"
I ran a home-run, and the whole crowd followed my lead... (my parents thought it cute naming me Forrest)
He was counting his doll collection, using the letters of the alphabet, and couldn't make it pass the Y chromosome
I received a two page text and immediately knew its gender... (the majority of it was exclamation points)
That girl's my soul mate... (which means she finds my missing soles in the most peculiar places)
I'd get into the meat of the issue, except I'm a vegetarian
He stepped on a goathead then passed out... (that goat was MAD!)
I saw a shooting star, then ran the other way... (just barely missing Chuck Norris's bullets)
He was just bright-eyed and bushy tailed... had nothing to do with last night's party
It's true, two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do

Inspired by Tim Ryerson's poem, Somewhat Twisted Thoughts of the Day

Details | Free verse | |



       It had been in the window for a week,
A bedroom display    with
Santa    in the sack    asleep,
His bright red clothes draped over the bedpost,
A half-empty fifth of whisky on the night stand

Adults looked on in horror
Especially the old folk
A drunken Santa    passed out in bed?
That was no damn joke!

From time to time    with onlookers
Santa  -  clad in white, trap door underwear -    
        would rise,  
Sit his broad    bare    behind
On the edge of the bed,
Lift the fifth    and take a swig

Oh how they gasped    the church crowd
When Santa lifted, let out gas    quite loud

 Christmas Eve the shocking scenes were passed,
A breathing time come    at last
The bed was empty    
Santa gone    clothes gone
Whisky bottle sanding empty    BUT!

Gawking folk    now looking skyward    beheld
A sleigh    eight reindeer   
And the jolly old elf cracking whip, belching
        good cheer

Rudolf still led the horned team in flight
But watchers beheld a stranger sight
Bold  -  lit up like a big red rose – 
       And thrusting a Star reaching beacon, 
       Santa’s whisky sodden nose


Details | Free verse | |

Humor for the sinner

Hey,Father,give me my blessing.It's two posts since my last transmission

Yes,my child.What's wrong with that?

I have no idea,Father.

This is for confessing sins.

I know,it must be fascinating.Can you tell me a few general categories of the most popular sins?

But the confessional is sacred...

Well,I come here a lot and I'm running out of ideas for my blog.

Blogging is sinful.

Really?It's not mentioned in my Missal.

No doubt it will be in the next edition!

Why is it sinful?

I believe it takes your mind off the people around you.


Can't you do anything about these people?

I've tried praying for them,seducing them,ignoring them,emailing them.

And what happened.

Nothing at all.They just ignore me.

Why don't you ignore them?

That's a wonderful idea.

Now,to cut back your blogging you need to learn the oboe...


You can't type when playing the oboe and it's cheaper than a piano..

Gosh,you are so clever.

And your playing will be so awful that it will make your housemates speak to you..

That's unlikely,they are all cats!

Oh,you nincompoop.Be off or I'll kick you out myself..

That's not wholly holy or even holey.

Be off or I'll send you a rhyme.

About time!

How about the design?
I am thinking, sublime?

Will it be mine?

Details | Free verse | |

Take it as PieCeS

Hey buddy, won't you walk me while I am awake
Don't be silly; catch me when I am on bed.
I said you should wait
Why are you in hurry?
Won't you open the gate?
And come and open the car.

Hey Pretty, won't you hug me now that you can
Cos tomorrow, you may want to while you can't
I am saying this because for now I care
Any minute away, I will shut my door and closet.

Take my hand now before I turn away my hands
Kiss my pen now before I show you my sword
Don't be stupid, leave that false play straight
And show me plenty of love
And episode that is so amaze.

Details | Free verse | |

Take me out to the ballgame, Mister Cub

                          Mr. Cub, take me out to the ballgame! 
                               A Chicago Cubs-Fan Prayer! 
                        In nomine patri et fili spiritu of Ron Santo

                          Let us all give thanks for Ernie Banks! 

                                     Let us play, TWO! 

Our Father, who art in Wrigley Field Hallowed be thy name on those ivy covered Brick-house walls

Thy new stadium will come, the owners will be done

On earth, as it is in heaven to sit in the sun with the bleacher-bums

Give us this day our daily dread, but remove those lights that some say  offend 

And forgive us our trespasses for trading our best hitters and aces 

As we forgive those same players who then come back, and rub it in our faces

Lead us not, into tenth inning disgraces, and worst of all, with men left on bases 

Deliver us from evil and finishing in last place

And Caray us on to win the pennant race 

All's we're ask ‘in for is a couple a more runs with three men on base

Bring us oh Lord a world series trophy, or it won't be long before were all dopey! 

Our faith be rich, but our pockets are poor, because most of us can't afford a dog or a couple a beers in here! 

Our spirit lives on and we know no fear, so whaddya say we lose the, "wait till next year"!

Mr. Cub is rounding third and headed for home, one more time on this hallowed ground, but we still need a closer for a Cubs World Series win! 

Ronny made the call to one of their friends, "send in the saver, Ernie can't do it all"!  

Now the "LORD's" in the line-up, and Mr. Cub just handed him the ball! 

Let us all give thanks for Ernie Banks!  AMEN!

Details | Free verse | |

help the duck

He has a stalker 
Getting to the bottom of it, 
who hurt the duck 
Hint dabbing
probing for intelligence 

Sent seedy 
email to duck 
Containing x rated material, 
I am suspicious
 he might get hurt, 
mad horrid 
roaring sounds 
With an awful 
weird voice 

Duck hell 
He can 
not sleep 
the little fellow, 
we need to investigate probing 
Keep filthy videos out 

The duck 
will never be the same 
He is on valium 
at the moment, 
a vet 
has been dispatched 
By private helicopter 
as we speak 

He needed 
to be treated for 
Were do I start, 
aggravated stress 
brought on, 
wait to you hear it 
By that xrated video 

Refusing to leave 
the house 
Scared he might 
see that monster, 
the video left 
in his mind, 
he knows now 
what insanity is 
he wont pass the door 

The duck 
ain't happy 
Nearly blew 
his mind, 
ha ha ha 
in stitches 

You ain't seen 
mad crazy duck 
There aint no sunshine 
bring it on 
quack quack 
He is gone

Details | Free verse | |

Do You Suffer from Pentheraphobia

Do you suffer from Pentheraphobia – its fear of the Mother in Law
A phrase that can strike fear in the bravest of all
For some people it’s all out war

We were pretty lucky; she didn’t interfere 
And now she’s no longer with us
The words ‘mother in law’ I do not fear

Jan Allison
17th February 2014

Details | Free verse | |

Dirty Little Secrets

If wishes were horses
We’d all take a ride and possibly this time
We could cum inside
Without picking up a VD-in-the-box
Or a latent addiction we just can’t detox

Mind, body, soul, heart, head and
Feet imprisoned deep in a concrete 
Complication of humiliation and revelation,
Pushed off bridges that cross
hopes, dreams, desires, expectations . . .

Only to land in realities where we sleep with the fishes.

But who can sleep with the noise
Of bombs overhead
Dropping charges of illumination into
Each and every head

Casting shadows of scattered bones
That litter floors of our closets
Our fears placed on display 
Vegas at night - Psychotic.

Riotous images of 
Things left unsaid,
Things we wish were undone
Resonate in our heads - but

Let us pause to give thanks that only Pandora has the key to

The recriminations that resulted in capitulations
Discriminations that inhibited associations
Humiliations that induced devastation
Prevented cross-pollination
& stopped maturation
Of our very soul – our God’s creation. . .

As we view it through the key hole of an air-tight little box
Reminders of the past the price we pay if it unlocks
Our reminiscing turns broad highways into vicious stumbling blocks
With ghosts of roads not taken swarming round our heads in flocks 
While blows of our poor choices, rain around our heads like rocks

But it is said that every virgin stoned has a chance to receive paradise
So we wish . . .
Hoping that God will swoop down in one big duex et machina with a

Diamond in the back

Sunroof top

Diggin’ the scene with the ability to save all the virgins

As we sacrifice our happiness on altars of regret

by happiness forgiveness
Trust . . .

and we still won’t let go of our
dirty little secrets.

Details | Free verse | |

Times Are A Changing

There once was a mouse that slipped off it’s pad
no problem - I’ll Click it back to where eye was
         no need for worn old mouse I had
wait a minute - I’m Clicking so much - eye soar
                       Tis set in -
  Wow! My doc said “try these Google goggles
   per-aps - down loads are getting you down
    this may help - Mcafee anti virus I’ll Google
for them goggles so you won’t get so daffy  miss Dawn
                        confused :

      She said is a pad a place where a mouse lives?
will Mc Donald give me a virus  at their pad - when I Click?
do them goggles - Google will send change my life

Doctor was not believing  his ears
        am I that  - old fashion
 what was I hearing - all these years
may be I should sit down on this cushion

Details | Free verse | |

Wasting Time

I have something to tell you.
I have to say it right away for if I don't something bad may happen to you today.
I really don't want to say it because I know you will hate it, but there's noting I can do to  rehabilitate it. 
So I might as well say it so it will be over and done.
Holding all this bad news inside me isn't much fun. 
Please do not run when I tell you this thing and please do not cry because it would cause me much pain.
I wish you the best even though I bring you the worst.
This bad news is like a curse.
Why did I have to be the one to tell it to you!?
Why couldn't it be another to tell you these words so cruel?
As a mule I am too stubborn to speak.
But I must tell you or my friends will call me weak.
I seek only happiness but today I did not find.
These words I have to tell you lay heavily on my mind.
Time is running out with every word I speak.
I must tell you now or forever hold my peace.
For someone may die if I don't tell you now.
I am sorry to say all is not well.
So I must go on and tell you what I came here to tell...well I did have something to say.
You must believe this is true why else would I come here and be saying all this to you?
Give me a moment and it will all come back.
I don't know why but sometimes my mind gets off track.
How could I lack remembering such a thing?
Well, if anyone gets hurt tell them I was to blame.
I'm sorry I just can't I guess you'll never know.
But I'm even more sorry you just wasted your time reading this here poem!      

Details | Free verse | |


Moments in  time~

Early morning
I sit on the side of my bed
Done doing my yawning
Walking like the dead
It’s not about, tiredness 
It’s not about, laziness
pacing in a way, never before
Moments in  time
passing the mirror
Don't bother to wash my hands
I took a shower yesterday
All I have is time
put on my shoe
the same old tee-shirt
my pants that are blue 
Moments in  time
Don’t care to brush my hair
My hair so short, looks fine
2 minutes to get dress
Saving more than enough time
Don't have no one to impress
I already got what's mine
A little bit of time
Don't need to waste it
Dressing for success
With all the time i save
I use it watching zombies on TV

Moments in  time
Don't waste it on vanity


Details | Free verse | |

I Love Being Naked

I love being naked.
Taking my panties off, 
and throwing them in the corner.
Taking my BVDs off, 
and heaving them across the floor.
I love being naked.
No t-shirts on, no blue jeans on, 
no under garment to wear.
Just the bare necessties.
Just me, myself and I, standing
all alone in my birthday suit.
I love being naked.
Absolutly, no clothing over my body whatsoever.
My body bursting with action.
Waiting to get a sun tan.
Waiting to quiver in the shower.
Waiting for soap to go all over.
I love being naked.

Will somebody please throw me a towel? 

Naked Poem by Kim Robin Edwards.
Copyright 2005,2014..ALL Rights Reserved.

Details | Free verse | |


Hunting for a theme in the jungle of mind a job,

Penning the themes into beautiful poems a job,

Copying,pasting and submitting each and every job,

Rating and commenting,not one two different jobs,

Winning or loosing but competing in contests a job,

Who said that,I do no job?

In a mess very heavy to handle,more not less my job,

From dusk to dawn engaged I in my job,

For a World wide,multi national,I'm doing job,

World wide Chinese,very smart in mob,doing all sort of jobs,

Chinese not given,what smart I'm performing job?

Who said that,I do no job?

I always engaged,no wage,web is the employer for my job,

Who said that,I do no job?

Details | Free verse | |

I'm Back

                I'm back without a fanfare without a flash 

                and you know in your heart by your hearths  

                that missing me is no laugh so don't pretend 

                to dis me my sisters and brothers of the Muse 

                only Christmas or the New Year could assuage 

                your sighs your annoyance at being bereft of wit 

                and poesy just like that other Bard by a river as 

                well so next time you see one of mine you will 

                either ignore it as no superlative is so apt, or 

                your judgements as before ere on the side of 

                so faint a praise as your green eyed monster 

                cannot help but display but be as it may I will 

                will not ignore all cliches today I sincerely folks 

                wish you all happy  emulation and if you are 

                offended please don't blame me its that Muse 

                Thalia who came to tea and then seduced me.  


Details | Free verse | |

I Got Your Man

Do you have a boyfriend?
Do he treat you good?
Do he come from the hood?
Do he kiss good?
Do he smell nice?
Do he do you right?
Do he ride a car or bike?
Do he call you at night?
Do he ask is everything's alright?
Have he saw your mom?
Have he met you dad?
Well, it's all good cause I got your man! 
But you don't so talk to the hand cause your face don't understand!

Details | Free verse | |

Just Call Him Bobby

He sticks to the wall
He sticks to the door
He even sticks to the floor
When I'm alone and I feel a way
I pull Bobby out the draw
He always saves the day
I bounce up and down on him
If I'm just that freaky
I might such it, jerk it, jump on it and hump it
Its just the size for me
I keep him near
I never know when
I'm going to need him again
I said his name is Bobby
He does the job when I'm alone I use him to solve the problem.

Details | Free verse | |

The Last words

The last words
Here I lay looking at the ceiling
Watching you all crying over me.
Thinking to myself the joke is on you all.
Uncle Joey said I was a great guy.
After he said I was worthless to my eyes.
Aunt June she bends down to kiss me goodbye.
Sticking her boobs job boobs in my face.
What a waste of jelly. I think.
Now I hope I can get my last wish.
That is to be buried face down 
So you all can kiss my God! It's time for me to go.
So goodbye and haha, The jokes on you.
I'm taking my money with me!

Details | Free verse | |

Great Morning

The noisy alarm made me scream out Shut up O'clock I then stretched my two long arms Like a cat in target I opened my wide mouth to yawn Coughed as usual Went to ..the bath room Scratched my teeth with my old tooth brush To remove the last night meat Put water on the heater The bath followed And then Coffee Left my bed outlaid, not laid as usual The room like my hair Put on my shinny shoes Jumped on my Noisy Boxer Five minutes later I was live on radio shouting Doing my morning show With these two wise fools Who lost sense by earn a lot On talking nonsense And me am the key fool Listeners call in And i shout at the Shut up, Shout loud Stretch your neck I love my morning work Not married, Because am not single I have a great family of rats home And my dear mosquitoes Who help me lose weight I am a christian I even pray while sleeping That's why its not in the list But this is a great morning

Details | Free verse | |


    What is it you do ,what do you write,
what words are there in your heart?
What thoughts are there in your mind?
Do feelings and the works that are eternal ,
come from the soul,the mind ,the heart..
Surely there was an inspiration,
to guide that hand as it penned a masterpiece.
If inspiration be of Love,
and that same Love cease to be.
If inspiration rides on the wings of loneliness,
and of a sudden there is happiness..
Will a strong heart write a humorous ditty,
as tears roll down their cheeks.
Thankyou friends who write while in turmoil,
post humor when saddened,
capture Love while alone.
Paint life that has yet to be lived.
Give all to the emotion of typing that next word,
for sharing a small piece of yourselves..........Jim

Details | Free verse | |


It was a far cry for us to purchase a house That too in the city like Atlanta But desire prevailed upon limited income The House-warming ceremony was on A few relatives had come from nearby area In response to our invitation. My wife was showing the house To a beautiful woman, one of our relative And I was preoccupied with my work Sitting in our loosely fenced enclosure. “This is our kitchen,” my wife said “Voguish” the woman said “This is our bedroom”, my wife said “Very cute” she said using another adjective “This is our living room,” my wife said “Oh, wonderful” Yet another adjective As they came out where I was sitting. “My husband” my wife said “Very” she said, I came to her help, “ I am cu..cutting this…” The woman knew, I taught English in a University I think she wanted me to overheard The random adjectives, she used in English. Don’t ask me in which humour My wife had been as the lady left. While others going for the dinner “Oh, only three bed-rooms” “Kitchen is too small” “How that rotund lady would manage?” We harbored all the remarks Till they faded away with the dinner.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Date 1-31-14 Form: Free Verse Dr. Ram Mehta First Place Win Contest: Relatives by Judy Konos

Details | Free verse | |

pg 13 psycho chick

this chick i met at the store one day trying to sell me a jar or raspberry jam.
She said i looked familar.I said she looked familiar to
Elementary school.Third grade.Mrs brown was are teacher.
This girl always sat alone during lunch and at reccess .
Never had i realized how pretty she was so i asked her out to lunch.
When she said yes then trouble started spewing.
She hasnt stopped cutting her meat and shes putting splenda in her sprite drink.
When she speaks shes telling me all the names of her exs in alphabetical order and how it was always them and never her.I seriously doubt this ecspecially when she askes if id like to have a threesome with her sister.
I dont know how this psycho chick got me on date two.Shes pretty and all but thats all shes got too.
Sex is ackward.She insist her dog be in the room.She laughs hysterically the whole time and sleeps through the rest.
On date three i let her go gently.She said shed never forgive me and that i was by far the worst ex she ever had.I thought thank goodness for that.
On friday she called me and said all was forgiven.I asked her how she got my number?she said your mother gave it to me.By the way her name is smidgen isnt it.
I told her it was over.My temper started rising.
she said she didnt mind as her fifth ex was taking her back.I said good luck with that.
Never saw her again but that psycho chick still talks to my mother who says i should have proposed.I tell my mom if only you knew what that psycho chick put me through.

Details | Free verse | |

Apple of my Eye

Quick find me an apple
And shove it in my eye;
I'm pathetic like facts under Snapple
Caps twist off as I cry,
My arms my legs
And anything you want
You took my heart and even kegs
Of rum cannot un-haunt
The void left behind;
Not even a huge pumpkin rind
Can plug this black hole,
Sucking whatever life is left
Withering fading from my soul,
With whom do I file a claim for this theft?
My mind is not in right now
Leave a message; I'll know
When I return if I can live
Without a smile to give
To those that care
Trust them I cannot dare,
But I won't just yet die
Because something still
Beats within my carcass;
For you lost apple of my eye
For you I will find the will
To amble out of this darkness...

Details | Free verse | |

the new maker's guarantee

the new maker’s
promises that 
after you pee 
in a urinal or WC

push the button 
or pull the handle 
and all your sins 
will flush away

Details | Free verse | |

In Search of the Mind

(This poem was published in Every Day Poets, this April. Enjoy the read!!!!)

“You have lost your mind!”
they told him. His eccentricities
surpassed the boundaries
they regarded as
Determined to get his mind back,
he searched forest, roadside,
bridge, cemetery….everywhere he remembered
visiting; wondering whether his mind existed or not,
because he had memories.

Details | Free verse | |


Wrestling in kitten-covered lawns,
Driving through your potato heart,
What did we begin?
When did we start?

Smoothing into your pixilated hair,
Bending into the fields with angels,
Why have we softened?
Where are the angles?

Ambrosia Wednesdays, Alfalfa Tuesdays,
Send me your message in big, bright colors.
How have we forgotten?
Who now sits in our old parlors?

Details | Free verse | |

twis the night santa got busted

Twis  the night before Christmas and all through the house not a person was up not even a dog.
The sox's were hung on the door with tape just waiting for Old st.Nick.
Mom in her night gown and me in my long johns. 
Settle in for a night of nics.
When all of a sudden we heard what was police cars.
As we watched on the tv with surprise. 
The reporter said that Santa got busted for breaking and entering.
As the police cars drove out of sight. 
We heard him say, Merry Christmas to all and call my lawyer.

Details | Free verse | |



21st August 2014
Written for 'What's Your Quote Contest'
Sponsored By Judy Konos

Details | Free verse | |

My Secret Prison

Trapped again!

Maze hidden cheddar eluding 
every twisting turn a doorway 
to the path I’ve already forgotten
a spirit broken within each hidden cul-de-sac.

I cry.

Depression building my will 
crumbling into fatal despair
that rages with a whisper
as quiet as a hurricane.

I sleep.

I scream at one wall 
hundreds more continue laughing.
Right! Left! NO! RIGHT! Left! Right! LEFT! YES! Right!

I succumb.

Cheddar thoughts and running 
water sustain my desire to escape
through walls of scent
filled dreams of freedom.

I laugh.

Test complete. Failure.
Should have smelled for Camembert.

Details | Free verse | |


The Webb’s my second Mommy and Daddy of the year ; It’s only June
 Mr. Carver, the social worker rambles on as we pull into the driveway 
 My five year old eyes open wide as I see the giant mansion dotted with children
 Ten new brothers and sisters, painfully shy, fear elevated to a joyful want of family

 Sunday dinner, introductions: Mr. Webb a Fuller Brush salesman , meek and gentle
 Mrs. Webb a stay at home Mom, a beautiful woman : with wicked sky blue eyes
 Alice the oldest of us all, looked up to by her younger siblings ,the Rock of the kids
 Virginia, frail , the twins Joe and Jim, rambunctious, Bobby, the loner, Millie,deaf 
  I would learn sign language. Rebecca, shy as me, William, Mom’s favorite. Dotty
  The humorous one. George six month older than me, soon to be my closest brother
                                                I slept well that night
 Good morning, Harry I’m going to work I’ll be back Friday night, a chorus of Goodbyes
 The nightmare begins :  Harry you will call me Ma’am you snotty nosed little bastard
 Alice, Joe, fill the bath tub this filthy little boy must be cleansed .Ma’am he’s only five
 Don’t sass me bitch with a slap across the face Alice fell to the floor. The tub filled
 The chlorine made my eyes water,tears rolled down my cheeks. Are YOU Crying?
 If your going to live in this house YOU will be a man now scrub your genitals, did you 
 Hear me? Mom; several slaps to the head ,YOU WILL call me Ma’am, now scrub
With tears flooding my cheeks, Ma’am I don’t know what genitals are, the bleach burning
Ma’am beating me with a Fuller Brush scrub brush dry yourself, go upstairs get dressed
As I limped by the girl’s room I saw Millie, Ginny straped to their beds I started to help
Alice gently pulled me back : Don’t help them Harry Ma’am will beat you: but, but Why
The atrocities I saw that week scarred me for life Thank God, Mr. Webb came home early
Tuesday morning Ma’am in a straitjacket being put in a  Police cruiser. All the children :
                            Heading to new Foster  Homes : We kept in touch
         Inspired by Deborah Guzzi”s Contest : Something wicked this way comes

Details | Free verse | |

duck's plea

There is a fly 
in the oinkment 
Someone ate pork chops , 
the duck is in 
a plucking bad mood, 
threats of assassination 
and shooting him 
Leave me alone 
you vile monsters, 
talking of making 
curry out of duck 
dead remains 
Scrambling the eggs and allsorts, 
please anyone 
with a heart shelter me 
I am an old duck 

Going grey in the feathers, 
this all gives me such bad blood 
at my age 
We live in such a hostile world, 
I have such a good family 
They have protected me for years, 
in the sanctuary 
of beautiful hills 
Always had peace and quiet, 
no interference 
from the out side world 
Until now this carry on 

demonic snuff videos 
sent to duck , 
just wish 
they could see my little heart 
Have always been a good duck, 
wouldn't hurt anyone 
accept flies 
My little eyes 
cry tears of fear, 
my life is being threatened 
As I wipe the tears 
with my wings, 
now they are stuck 
to my sides with so much fear 

If only I could stretch my wings 
In happiness 
towards the sky, 
like in my sheltered years 
My wings always 
opened for a hug, 
why do you want me 
to have such a cruel end, 

like the pig pork chops 
Beware of the wolf 
in sheep's clothing 
My dad taught me this, 
he always made me feel 3 foot high 
Hiding in the corn, 
probing for intelligence, 
a non smoking serial killer 
Sent pictures of dead fellow ducks 
on a plate, 

had such beautiful adventures, 
planning them in my mind, 
now distorted with threats 
You opened 
a big can of worms 
Threatening the life of this duck 
Sending snuff videos 
Of duck killers , 
help me find the killers 
As they ain,t seen 
crazy duck yet

Details | Free verse | |


I’ve got a couple of juicy melons
They are dangling so temptingly
Round with plump firm flesh
Shame they aren’t ready for picking yet!

Now now what were you thinking guys …
It’s the first year I’ve grown them in my greenhouse!

Jan Allison
14th August 2014

Details | Free verse | |

Bath-Time Blackbeard

I jump into the ocean 
And climb aboard my ship.
I’m a pirate captain, Matey!
Let me give you a few tips:

1. I’ll make you walk the plank.
2. I’ll make you scrub the deck.
3. I’ll see that you do sails
    before we crash and wreck.
4. A giant octopus 
    and Barbie are our threats.
5. We only have 10 minutes
6. We’re all in with no regrets.

When the ocean’s finally drained,
And the bubbles are all gone,
I dry and wait for next time,
Which seems to be too long. 

Details | Free verse | |

regifted verse

here's a few nibbles,
a chosen few lines of 
cellophaned offerings
not bought or made 
by me, but perhaps
fruitful nonetheless

given last holiday
in a heavy-versed book
to look at thoughtfully,
wonder at the imparted 
intent, then pass on

to you the nut-laden lines
that someone's aunt 
cooked up, every single
year since her mother first
showed her the directions

and the smiling recipient
re-wrapped it with a 
handwritten note to
hand off to another - 
and in turn another,

until, now you see me,
sitting before you,
smiling tentatively,
while both hopeful,
and apprehensive

contemplating acceptance
with a soulful pocketing,
or yet another, itinerary
change of regifted verse
that I wrapped just for you

© Goode Guy 2013-07-16

Details | Free verse | |

A Gluttons Prayer

For jimmy so loved bacon,
That he gave his only begotten cholesterol count,
That whosoever believeth they shall take his bacon,
Shall perish and enter the afterlife!

*for the "Show me the Funny" contest!*

Details | Free verse | |

Seeking Wealth

Tired of grazing sheep and gazing
at the silent sky,
I finally decided than now was my time
to look for riches in a city,
for sheep would never tell me the secrets
of amassing wealth, even if they knew.

As I walked across a street in a city one afternoon,
with only five silver coins,
I met a man, and asked him how I could become

“Go to a fountain in Bottle Street, and ask the frog
that you meet, where a chest of gold is buried...but
first, give me three silver coins”, the man told me.

Finally I would talk the same language with a frog,
instead of my sheep’s language,
which sounds gibberish to extreme.

Spending my whole life with honest people,
I gave him three silver coins,
without a shadow of doubt.

As soon as I gave him his pay for his answer,
he vanished into a nearby park in the deep, silent

My lips almost getting torn from flooding bliss
in my heart, I asked some people the direction
to Bottle Street, and started my journey.

Sighting my lucky fountain, I headed there, and lo
and behold! There were in fact a dozen frogs! “It seems
the gold chests will be a dozen,” I assured myself.

“Where can I find a buried chest of gold?” I asked one
of the frogs.

“Rrrribit! Rrrribit!”, came the reply; in fact they were
staring away from my blank face, as if they were showing
me a sign; a sign that I was scammed. 

Since that fateful day, I never trusted anything in Bottle Street ever again.

Date: 03/03/2014

Details | Free verse | |


Star light star bright, where the hell is Mr. Right?
It's now been oh so long, and I don't
don't want another Mr. Wrong!

Details | Free verse | |



Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs,
Everything always happens in pairs,
Except socks.

If one child's ill, another follows,
The fridge breaks down, the washing machine swallows 
The socks.

The cat gets stuck at the top of a tree,
Fall over the Lego, hole in my knee - 
Like the socks.

The toast burns, the dog is sick,
It's eight o'clock, oh do be quick.

In the drawer there are long ones,
And short ones
And thick ones
And thin ones
And brown ones
And black ones
And grey ones.
But where is a PAIR?
Not there.
I despair.

Details | Free verse | |


Untamed unruly 
Insubordinate strands coiled into a restrictive pose
Chemical warfare and arson to my scalp to straighten you out
For a while you complied but you always get tangled up in a mess
Arrested for disorderly conduct
Failing to yield to a comb
Robbing me of my sanity
This delinquency I can’t tolerate
So I had to lock you up

Details | Free verse | |

There's love about

Love thinking about you.

Love,thinking about you.

Love thinking,about you......

Thinking about you,love.

Thinking love about you.

You, thinking about love.

You thinking about love?

You love thinking about....

You about,thinking love?

About you,love,thinking.

About thinking,love you.,Love Thinking

Love, Thinking


Come love,stop thinking.

How come there's love about?

Think about it

Details | Free verse | |


                                         The conman posing as a wizard
                                  told him to seek the answer from a frog,
                            of where he would get his treasure; in the fog,
                               "rrribit!" "rrrribit!" came the answer, from a pond,
                                   leaving the victim fifty pence emptier

Details | Free verse | |

Mothers Day



A day once created.
A day I will never know. 
A day I would love to try.
Planting seeds in a barren land
will not a mother make.
Oh but the joys of trying.

Bill .

B. J. “A” 2
May 12th, 2007

Details | Free verse | |

Just because I said I Do

Just because I said " I Do"
Doesn't mean I married your family
and yes I love you, but do I have
to critique every pair of shoes to see
if they match what ever color cloth your wearing
and how many times do I need to hear
"does this make me look fat?"
Just because I said " I Do"
Doesn't mean I might forget to wipe my feet 
once in awhile before entering the house
or forget to pick up an article of clothing
It's not that I'm lazy, I'm just a man
like all the rest..You remember
"All you men are alike"
Just because I said "I Do"
Doesn't mean you should get mad
because I didn't hear you screaming
while battling an intruder during a football game
Hey, it was a close game
Just because I said "I Do"
Doesn't mean I might forget to say "I love you"
before leaving for work
or leave the toilet seat up..
after all you said "all men are alike"
Just because I said "I Do"
Well, " I Do" so there I said it twice
unlike all the rest of the men

For the contest Just because I said I do
Sponsored by Skat A

Details | Free verse | |

Love is Confusing

Oh love is confusing,
it has many definitions,
many tales of both fiction and non-fiction,
She loves him,
he loves her,
They both love someone else?
No true love anymore,
now it is like a compass
with a dial that spines out of control,
Go West-
Go North-
and South-
...Yes- south toward the devils,
never north to paradise-
Love is confusing,
(a confession believed a lie-
See her now cry!)
He slaps her,
she sleeps with another guy;
an endless game,
an endless war,
back and forth (tug of war)
so true, yet so fake,
yet so brilliantly acted out
(watch the tear- oh how convincing-
watch the slap- oh that must have hurt-)
tonight I go to bed,
resting my head upon my pillow,
and look up and see the faces of my past women
and I think of where they are at right then.
All I know is they're not with me,
and that is just confusing.


Details | Free verse | |

Art in Love, Art is Life

There goes the Mona Lisa and Picasso's girlfriends
scribbling down the highway of surrealism,
as the Scream is breaking glass with a high-pitched cry in Oslo;
and the melting clocks of Dali's masterpiece stops time for a moment,
as the paintings fall in love.

As color spectrums mix together to create nothing but a mess,
that we all in some way call art,
the Mona Lisa sits and gives one of her snobby smiles.
Picasso lights another cigarette and invites another French girl to his apartment,
paint flies everywhere, as articles of clothing start to strip off,
and the screamer is still screaming, for what?- I have no clue.
All I know is, art is in love.

What a minute- who invited the Thinker?!
All he does is sit there and think all day!
My head would ache if I thought hard and long like a marble statue all day long.
Get out of here Thinker, and take the Scream with you,
he's making me deaf!

There you are art in love, nothing but dead guys, painting naked girls,
who give an innocent smile,
but so a little more than their teeth,
and those Dali clocks that melt slowly in an ideal painting,
you can almost hear time ticking backwards.
Art is beautiful,
Art is life.


Details | Free verse | |

Quality Cleaners

Hi- this is Dana from Quality Cleaners
I’m calling to see if you need your carpets cleaned
   Bang- (hang up)
Hi- this is Dana from Quality Cleaners
I’m calling to see if you need your carpets cleaned
   Bang- (hang up)
Hi- this is Dana from Quality Cleaners
I’m calling to see if you need your carpets cleaned
   Bang- (hang up)

Is there really a company out there 
called Quality Cleaners?
I keep hanging up 
and they keep calling back
Will Dana ever get married 
or retire
and leave me alone
with my dirty carpets?
How did she know?

Details | Free verse | |

caught'em in the rye

Could I entertain your intellectual osseous matter                                                          
using verbose and other humorous ideophones                                                                
or make you mind laugh tickling your funny bone                                             
using long words and funny sounding words                                                                 
what does the aristocrat say onomatopoeia        
lay it on thick ouch does it hurt what's a matta you
You may say that's not puny never mind the nay Sayers  
Bling-bling sing sing a golden orchestra in Harlem                                                              
I am sofa away from you a couch that causes no harm’em                                                 
a screech owl that is fowl lilith stinks like a pink pig                                                       
exploring this a spelunker doesn’t need a rig                                                                
With their logos while they continue to envoke                                                                    
no peace for the land and that’s no joke                                                                             
old McDonald had a pharm under double bull oink oink                                                    
this is not for tragedy but a comical boink -boink                                                               
a freemen has his eye on your a week dollar                                                                    
catch’em by the tail snippety-snap them                                                                            
I will stand on my Fathers house and holler                                                                      
their justice really is a blind idol                                                                                        
vroom -veroom their vehicles go idle                                                                            
while they rant and rave on Broadway                                                                            
straight is the gate narrow is the way                                                                             
for this little spoof is meant for reproof                                                                              
lights are on as ho-ho they try to give you the Biz                                                         
where not as smart as you thunk yo-yo is

Details | Free verse | |

Gypsies Ode to the Caravan

Oh when the cold lurks past our doors,
we gypsies love your heated seats.
Stars guide our weary hearts,
better yet, headlights show the streets.
We journey together,
one heartbeat echo’s for all.
My people voice together,
next stop, the nearest mall!
Charms of wisdom and luck,
sometimes ward off ghostly creatures.
Your airbags come standard,
among other safety features.
Labeled as thieves just for trying to find water,
 canisters upon our backs in the burning sun.
Oh glory to the Caravan that comes with cup holders,
a Gypsies day can now be done.

Details | Free verse | |

A Drunk Talking To A Taxi Dispatcher

A Drunk Talking To A Taxi Dispatcher The corner Of walk and Don't

Details | Free verse | |

Woody Allen Blues

     The man is funny as hell 
        But is Nazism something to laugh about?
I've run into iit 
   Believe me it wasn't pleasent 
        Remeber the T.S. Eliot line "Oh you who turn to windward 
 Gentile or Jew 
     consider Phlebas who was tall and handsome as you"
  Well I have considered Phlebas 
      and realize the story 
           is going to end 
No one is without fault in Jewish theology 
Even the mightiest of kings 
I'm not without fault 
    Just sent $10 to the Simon Wiesenthal foundation 
Hope it does some good

Details | Free verse | |

Let Go

Let go. 

Just let go. 

It's okay, there is no shame. 
This is no show, this is no game. 

This is life. 
It's okay to fail, 
just remember to 
never doubt your ability 
of getting back up. 

Roll with the punches, 
roll with the hooks. 
Grab yourself a pan! 
Think yourself a cook! 

Do what you can! 
Do what you may! 
Never let anyone tell you
this isn't your day! 

      CARPE DIEM!!!

Details | Free verse | |

Mixed Emotions: Unpredictability Defined

I appear to be a secure,
well-adjusted, successful woman
But....ask me a question
and I will respond 
with mixed emotions.

You won't get a simple
yes or no----
You'll get an answer
or two or three!
Why is it in my nature
to analyze things?

Unpredictability defined----
That's me!

c2013 Julie Rasley

Details | Free verse | |

When I was Racist

When I was young
And felt a little glum
My Mum would cheer me
With a plum.

I began to eat them daily,
Demolishing entire punnets
With aplomb.

How I loved those big, fat,
Red-purple fruit bombs
Juicing between my lips,
Never failing to elicit
A contented ‘Yum!’

But one night after
Dinner my Mum
Offered me a yellow one.

I turned my head
And mouthed disgust
At the pale, pus-like
Imitation of my habitual
Fruity dream feast.

This fruit was diseased.
I refused to feed.
I snubbed that sickly grub.

My mother paused,
Then held her breath,
Turning black
Like an overripe plum.
“You know what your problem is,”
She cried.  “You’re racist!”

Then she took the entire
Crate of plums and pelted
Me until I was welted
With plum coloured bruises.

“You see, discoloured plums
Still have their uses!”

Now I am grown up
And Minister for Equal Opportunities.

On a celebrity reality TV show 
They hooked me up
To a lie detector machine
And asked me if I had
Ever been racist.

I blushed (like a plum).

Details | Free verse | |

Outdo To You Too

If a leaf lives in Canada, does more than one look like a pile of leafs?
If I were to take those leafs to America, should they still either be                   called leafs or really be called leaves?
To read about subject, more pages someone leafs.
It is in beliefs that someone believes.
There is a chief who is chief over a tribe of Indians.
He has a meeting with a council of chiefs where each one achieves 
what they had in mind. The chief grows old and they have to relieve                  from his position as Chief and the chief reason is due to poor health.
Should they leave the Chief in his current chief position which is the              highest one of all?
What happens to the Chief's wife when the chief dies? Does she still                retain her position as the past chief's wife even though the past chief                    is deceased or is she only widow of the past chief? 
Is the wife either Mrs. or Ms. Chief who now misses the Chief who did                    die and pass away?
Now that the Chief is missed and not wanting to make or cause any               further mischief or alarm, what do you think? I am going to leave                        the leaf and Chief issue up to you. Will I ever obtain any relief from                    the whole thing. Put this whole thing into whatever poetic form you                   want to. I will defer to what you prefer. 

My mind and head I just had thumpted
Was I politically correct or poetry bankrupt?

James Thomas Horn
Muchly Retired Veteran

Details | Free verse | |

The Secret

Listen closely if you've just turned to this page.
I have a secret to tell you so don't look away.
Please don't be frightened and don't be afraid. 
It wont cost you a thing.
No it's not a matter of life or death but if I tell you, you might grow up to be a great chef.
However you may just grow up to be a pest.
Still trying to guess?
Yes, it is true how beautiful this secret would be if I told it to you.
All your dreams could come true.
All your problems gone in a wink of a eye. 
No it's not a lie I swear, what I say is true.
It really happened to me and it can happen to you.
So tell me are you ready to hear this secret that nobody knows but me?
Ok, well do me a favor take a deep breath and read this last line and remember read it slowly and take your time.
The secret lies in your own mind~

Details | Free verse | |


English is not a language 
one can ever get ahead of--
there are just too many words!
Like 'ludic; for example:
playful, in the sense of 
spontaneous, without a
real purpose. So how come I
never came across it in over 
sixty years of reading in my
beloved mother tongue, 
the language I love,
the language I married.

Even spell-check never saw it, 
or else why underline little
ludic in red, like a criminal of
some sort who needs a 
good sorting out, a spell in
word prison perhaps? If one 
looks, one can find sweet ludic
laying low, hiding quietly in the
big fat Oxford Dictionary, lord
and regent of all word books.
He lives there with his cousins--
ludibrious and that stuffed shirt, 
ludibry, and ludrico (no doubt
from the Italian side of the
family) and of course, the far
more famous ludicrous who 
seems to want all the spotlight
for himself. Words can be
very selfish too.

Details | Free verse | |


Should I? 
Well, maybe…
No, some other time perhaps. 
I can’t do that.
I don’t know how. 
I don’t know anything about it.
I have these other things to do.
The phone is ringing. 
I need to check my Facebook.
Dishes need to be washed. 
I have another appointment.
I’m too shy.
I really don’t like crowds.
What if I have a panic attack?
I don’t like to dance and I don’t drink.
I’m not smart enough for that crowd.

Can we do it together?
Will you hold my hand?

Details | Free verse | |

why robots don't drink coffee

Robot rambling in foreign tongue
With bleeps and blips a hum and buzz
Intoxicated from coffee it shouldn’t have had
Sparks and fizzles, jerks to the ground. 
A man exclaims and questions, “who gave that robot coffee!?”

Details | Free verse | |

Under the porch light

It's late at night the stars are aglow
Quietly we huddle under the porch light
I want to kiss you but feel unsure, you
thank me politely for a night of fun, you dig
through your purse searching for the house key
I look for a sign that you want me to stay.  You
find it opening the door and closing the night.  It's
time for me to accept goodnight.  The door is closed and yet I'm still
under the porch light in solitude. I hear some giggles and
see the curtain close.  Your grandchildren seeking a peek
at Memaws new man.  I smile and wave goodbye.
The frost in the air matches the frost in my hair
There will be other nights under the porch light.

Details | Free verse | |

There Once Lived A Cat

There once lived a cat named Doll she drink alcohol.
Everyday she'd drink and drink until her breath became rank and stank.
Not A drop did she pour down the sink. 
Then one night she got so drunk she stumbled out the door and wasn't seen no more.
Then three days later her body was found in a big lake where she lay drown.
The news was heard all around cat city.
"Such a pretty cat" they'ed say "Oh what a pity" 
Why did such a thing happen to this kitty?
A autopsy was done to see why she died, she drown of course but it's what they found inside.
They said that she was high after sniffing catnip all day, then she got drunk and went out to play.
How sadden they all were to hear such a thing.
The funeral is now over and she now lies in her grave six feet under. 

Details | Free verse | |

A Poet and a Thief

You call me
A poet and a thief,
So let me indulge thee
I'll make this short and brief,
We're all alike you and I
A tooth for a tooth
And eye for an eye,
Makes us thick
As thieves in a booth
No lock to pick,
If the door is open
Why still do we break in
To steal a heart
Is this a sin?
If done with poetry
The rules are faulty,
Meant to be broken
Golden token
Means; there's not a ruler
That can't crack
A diamond jeweler,
So we find ourselves back to back
Meeting on a level plain
Stealing syllables from the insane
We interpret and manipulate
All vowels and consonants in prose
Burglars thorns and words a rose...

Details | Free verse | |

a nomination rhetorical

An adnomination nation would be quite the agitation                                                         the illumination, hearing all speaking in agnomination                                                              would cause conversation discrimination to be a chaotic annomination                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        or the abomination, this would dominate the nation causing confusion.                                              The culmination, for instance telling one to drive off a cliff in his carnation,                       could raise a flood of damnations from all denominations

Details | Free verse | |


deadly Intelligent life form 
At the bottom of the sea 
I am from planet confused 
What did I do 
with my glasses 
I can not see them ha 
Everything a joke 

Ha ha blind as a bat 
My big eyes 
are not great 
My name is octopus 
You are under my control 

look at the arms 
Look at the arms 
I am certifying myself mad 
in the head 
Look at the arms 
I am lost with 
so many arms hanging down 
Confused dot. com. 

I would need to be 
they are driving me crazy 
Keeping so many arms busy 
My brain can not cope 
with all the stress 
I will just have to use 
two arms a time 
Easier to control
w ill ignore the rest for now 

Just keep one eye on them 
To much for my brain 
to handle 
I think I am going cross eyed 
Sending me blind 
moving about 
look at the arms 
Look at the arms 

Medusas of the deep 
Minus the body 
Cold and lonely down here 
In a tizzy watching 
My mind can not sleep 

Look at the arms 
Theirs no arm in me really

Details | Free verse | |

The Aging Prophetess

February 5, 2014

His words echo through the mouthpiece.
His voice squeaks like a tot,
but she knows he’s a robust young man.
Isn’t he? 
Is she confused again?
What day is it? What time? What day again?
Bodies move in slow motion.
They did not used to be that way.
Things were different,
More beautiful, spun on the loom,
and quilted with indifference.
That’s why it’s better now,
Or is she peering into the future again?
She gets so confused.

Details | Free verse | |


It running away from life into
the forest, while you are part of life too

It is teaching children that killing is bad,
by killing the same people who kill

It is leaving a will to a pet-cat,
that doesn’t know legal language

It is living in a mansion with all kinds
of accessories, but desert-empty of food

It is painting a picture in the dark,
unless you are a psychic

It is putting all a year’s savings
on a one-day chess game bet,
yet living in a house for rent

It is a man hiding from death at a corner
in a dark room

It is living with no dreams like a robot

It is getting into a Holy shrine as One people,
and getting out as strangers

Details | Free verse | |

Reading Love Poems

I read poems
To my love
By poets past
Of affections timeless
But then those dusty words
Turned heated;
I must confess, I blushed;
I desisted, wherefore he
Did insist on explanation
I refused, and refused again
When he did prompt me read it
But then in his eyes was poetry
And no more were words needed

Author's Note: Do not be deceived, 18th century poetry can be GRAPHIC

Details | Free verse | |

Mumble Jumble

Mumble Jumble

Write poem I Will
Excite word and Thrill
 Concern a Doubt
Learn must verse bout

Dig this brain Spike
Big this challenge Like 
Work hard to Think
Lurk me to Ink

Feel the words Drive
Deal staying Alive
Wear that top Hat
Care that top Cat

Eager writes Read 
Meager to Concede
Worried for Outcome
Hurried I did Some

Need me not Fret 
Greed not this Bet
 Between friend a Test
Preen then we Rest

 this is a reverse poem

Details | Free verse | |

A Sense of Humor Part 2 of 2

" A Sense of Humor ... "

( A Satirical Moral )

(Part 2 of 2)

A Sense of Humor - Gets Us Thru This Life
A Sense of Humor - Gets Us Thru The Night
A Sense of Humor - Gets Us Thru What's Not Right
'Cause A Sense of Humor - Has It's Own Kind of Might

'You've Got A Dry Sense of Humor'
Said The Sweat To The Sock
'You've Got A Sick Sense of Humor'
Said The Disease To The Doc

'It Takes A Good Sense of Humor'
To Shoo The Fly and Take Good Natured Swats
'Cause You Gotta' Have A Sense of Humor'
To Get The Punchline and Not Get Knocked

'You've A Strange Sense of Humor'
Said Some Sinners, Who Think Its Odd
'But YOU've Got A Wonderful Sense of Humor!'
My Beautiful, Brilliant, Happy GOD ...
(1 Tim. 1: 11)

'For, There's A Superb, Sense of Humor'
In Saying That 'Hell Is Hot' ...
'Cause Some Think Its Hilarious-Humor
'To Face The Full Wrath of GOD ... and Mock!'

                      Written & Copyrighted ©:  1/7/2014
                             by:  MoonBee Canady

'I've Got A Corny Sense of Humor'
But It Won't Make Any Funny-Bones Pop
And My Sister's Droll Sense of Humor
Said, 'Don't Let Your Day Job Drop'

he he ha ha ha LOL

Details | Free verse | |


It’s what gets me up in the morning
It motivates me every day
A normal person might say my dog
Or having to use the bathroom
Okay, a sad normal person would say that
Some things should just be legalized
Like letting me marry coffee
It makes me a morning person
Coffee puts a smile on my face
Even when I don’t care what the other person is talking about
Coffee makes me a better person
That’s what your partner is supposed to do, right?
Coffee always smells good
I’ll never smell stinky feet or sweat with coffee
I also love how when I take a sip it feels like fire going down my throat
Love can hurt, right?
Coffee can’t be perfect
Neither can your significant other
I just broke a million hearts
I’ve read enough love stories
I’ve heard enough love songs
Every single one is about heartbreak, getting over someone
Or hating the person you were with
Coffee would never leave me
Or cheat on me
Coffee wouldn’t care how clingy I am
Plus it would keep me warm in the winter
I’ll take my daily dose of caffeine over love, any day of the week
One cup of sugar
For the day before and having to wake up to a new
Two cups of sugar
For whatever stands in my way for the next 24 hours
I am invincible
I swear it’s not the caffeine talking
If I’m feeling sweet
Some creamer would be perfect
Hazelnut isn’t sweet enough
French vanilla is too sweet
Other creamers make my teeth feel gritty
Black coffee is too boring
But life doesn’t change for any of them
My mind is happy with coffee
Mindset is all that matters 
While my friend complains about her boyfriend
I take a sip of my scorching hot coffee
To stop myself from saying something I’ll regret
Coffee you are a lifesaver
Rainy days, drink coffee
Sunny days drink some cold coffee
Mondays, drink a lot of coffee
When life gets really, really hard
Bring coffee with you everywhere
Put some creamers in your pocket
Always carry sugar packets
It’s not illegal to smuggle coffee
You’re just prepared for the worst
I’ve measured my days with coffee spoons
So far it’s working out great

Details | Free verse | |

Why Don't I Say Balderdash to Midnight Moon

Why don't I 
jump up and 
down with my hand 
on my head yelling
When the poem 
strings me out
even from the very title, 
like politics, history or 
makes no sense like dreams? 
Thank goodness some people 
can write like this. 
I can't.

Details | Free verse | |

A Child's Puzzle

                                   Why did the fish cross the road?

Details | Free verse | |

The cats meow


What now brown cow is there some sort of contention going on here?
I only wanted to indulge in some small form of nourishment here;
And you can at times provide such a tasty morsel,
I am after all just a cat who desires his occasional saucer.
So how about we come to an agreement;
I’ll keep those certain type of undesirables out of your sleeping area;
And in turn perhaps you might indulge me on occasion.
I do you know so admire those big black eyes of yours;
And in my moments of indulgence’s I imagine swimming in them.
I don’t know maybe I could even love you except it is an impossible love.
You have your place here as the provider of substance for all your little ones;
And me I can’t stay home at night because it’s my time to take inventory.
I’ve got old acquaintances to see and newcomers soon to be in need of my 
But hey what say we jump over the moon tonight?
Right now I can hear a rhyme about us doing just that.
So come on Daisy help a cat out don’t be so predictable just once.


Details | Free verse | |


When angels come,
they are only seen
by babies and very
young children, soon
to be forgotten. And
sometimes those who
are good at heart
will encounter angels
who look so human

When angels sing, 
their choirs sing
with choirs human,
and both can be
heard in heaven
as on earth. Or
an angel's song 
may be a ballad
in an Irish pub.

When angels weep...
they weep far more
for our loss of joy
than sins committed,
their quiet tears
for love omitted.

When angels laugh,
they laugh at the king who
holds tight to his throne
and find humorous the 
rich man who owns, but
laugh the most at the
materialist who proudly says,
 "Clearly, angels cannot exist!"

That gets them
rolling in the
endless aisles
of heaven.

Details | Free verse | |

absurd poetic humor

sometimes all you need 
is simple words for simple truths
you have no need to rhyme 
or paint a masterpiece
you can say ...
i love the world
i see the light
her beautiful eyes
her thick shimmering hair; or even
skin so fair and luminescent 
as to blind the foolish onlooker.
see how simple and unpretentious 
great poetry can be?
no need for long winded imagery painted, 
so thick as to require a double shot of insulin.
i assure you
is the secret to fine poetry
at least 
that's just the way i ride,
 simple, unassuming.
you know the theory
"less is more"
why use ten words 
when one or two 
is all you need to make your poetic point.
i mean there has to come a time when 
you've tasted the essence of the simple point you created.
for instance why live in a fifty room mansion
when a lovely country bungalow
a sort of summer cottage
a small quaint beach home
a tiny mountain chalet
an exquisite city apartment
a hotel suite
a bachelor pad
a single room and no more
will do, largely.
that's exactly my point
keep it short and simple
no one is going to appreciate a piece
no matter how lovely it is
that goes on and on for no apparent reason
well ... go figure
my writing hand
i believe has seized up.

Details | Free verse | |

Well There Goes the Spice Rack

Rosemary and Pepper meant 
to have time spent
 down by the Bay 
 took a cloven path 
met Sir Basil's wrath 
and decided to not stay

Details | Free verse | |

Elvis in Middle-Earth

In Middle-earth people
Sing Elvis songs
All day

Oops, I mean Elvish

Details | Free verse | |

give it up for Neil

out there in our world
there are brilliant individuals
whose minds are incredible,
awesome & inspiring,
bearing thoughts, ideas &
theories, which many of us
wouldn’t be able to fathom
if the thinker her/himself 
sat down at our breakfast table
& spoon fed it to us
like we were good little Gerber 

there are funny wo/men out 
there also,
who with one quick quip or
deliberate body gesture, facial
contortion or humorous act
which may up to this point have
no definition at all,
are able to tickle our funny bone,
sending us into a fit of
laughter, which may very well
create pain in our gut or
cause us to fall right out of our

unfortunately it is the case that
seldom do these two vital human
qualities exist within the same being &
when you come across someone
who possesses both,
your jaw might drop at the same time
you begin to quake with an almost
this writer does feel that
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson fits the bill.

Dr. Neil can captivate an audience---
armed with a comforting smile, 
razor sharp wit & pure down to
earth sagacity, 
in just over an hour (maybe less) 
he can take those who held 
absolutely no interest in Science
and with an uncanny ability to weave
the most wondrous & complicated 
descriptions of what goes on in the
with jokes & anecdotes
in a communicative way that does not
have an agenda,
outside that of education,
he is able to turn on whole crowds
to a love of Science!

and once you see him,
you won’t be able to get enough---
you’ll watch all the youtube lectures he
and you’ll read all his books &
the whole time,
you’ll be learning things 
which had they been brought you 
by someone else,
you might have just been bored listening,
or ignored outright.

though many good intentioned smart
will do their best to convey 
all their research &
they’ll do so with all the compassion that
they can muster,
how unquestionably important it is to
have someone like Neil 
bearing as much communicative talent
as he does sheer intelligence,
so that he might continue to
illuminate the world,
showing his own love for what he does &
what has always interested him,
so that he may pass it on,
igniting further amazement in us all,
so that so many break the chains of
religious dogmas which have
kept their eyes & their minds 
shut & closed for so long!

Details | Free verse | |

You Know You're a Writer When

You know you’re a writer when every circumstance is an opportunity 
To paint your paper with a pen
When a teardrop shed is a new gateway with a gleaming rainbow
You know you’re a writer when you awaken suddenly in the night
Chasing a comet and its tail then off to a maroon sunset you will sail
All with the stroke of a pen	
Just think of the possibilities with me and my pen
You know you’re a writer when your house is a mess
And the trash has yet to be taken out 
Because you are digesting the end of a magnificent fairy tale
When your water just got shut off because you forgot to open your mail
All the while writing about menageries and meadows
How shall I close this extraordinary gem?
How shall I bring this poem to an end?
It’s all sitting at the tip of my quill
For now I will close this write and bid my poetic friends a good night
We shall gather again here on another day!
I know that I am a writer and for this gift of God I say “thank you, Father!”
Thank you for the gift of creativity and love for all of mankind
Your heart is my heart as I sit down to write
You are always speaking to my fingertips!
May this joy of writing never end
Your best friend,

Details | Free verse | |

When I Became A Poet

Oh what a day that was!
When I got that
Crazy idea
To be a poet and
To attend poets’ conference
To present my reference
But before it
I must write a poem fit
For the occasion
And to show my passion
I prepared a poem
Taking hints from other poems
After all
We must learn something
From the existing
Next day I got up early
Got ready
Making my hair curly
But in a harry
I cut my face while shaving
And spilled some curry
But I was determined
So I whispered
Don’t mind
I remembered my God
And stepped out
And hit my knee
Against the auto door
Yet it could not
Deter me anymore
Next step was
Really tough one
For the place of organization
Was known to none
Hungry tired I anyhow
I could find the destination
And again my determination
Fired up like the sighs of
A sad lover
But it was just bed luck
That I forgot
My script in the auto
I rushed back
To find that wretch
But only the darkness
Of the street was stretched
With the resolution
To again any other occasion
I slowly started back home
But found no means to travel
And it was a real trouble
Some stray dogs in the street
Could not recognize me as a poet
And rushed madly
After me deadly
I jumped I stumped
And in this chase
I got many bumped
Somebody helped me
To my home with
Torn and dirty clothes
To refresh my mood
I made TV turn on
And saw live telecast
It was the poets’ conference
And the same auto driver
Was reciting my poem
With his own reference

Details | Free verse | |

Jokes That Poke

Tell me I'm not funny?
Neither are you honey
I was telling a joke
Wasn't trying to poke
It's nothing personal
If I did that's a sign
Maybe you've been blind.
Issues issues issues
Yeah you have them
Go beat a bag or something
See a shrink or whatever
You've got 20 years on me
You've got way more to bleed
When I smile you're way
Try to bring the sun out that day
Even if it's fake. I don't care
If you stomp on my fun beware 

Details | Free verse | |


When we act playful 
And with a lot of sense of humor
Careless and irresponsible 
People or perhaps teachers
Never believe us when we screw up 
Or when we break a chair or something
But nevertheless
That doesn’t mean we can’t change 
People who tend to act with more responsibility
That hold a lot more serious face
A more admirable sensing look 
Those people whom teachers and other people believe
Can own their trust 
Nevertheless that doesn’t mean 
Those trustable people 
Those truthful people are out of all fun?
Now I began to understand God’s wise judgment
He puts the trustable people in situations
They can get out from
 But if He puts humorous irresponsible ones
It will be a hell of a time if they survived
God put us in situations that come with ease
To repay sinful ones…

Details | Free verse | |

On the Spot

On the spot
And in spots
I make it rain
Really big drops
Almost hail,
Break the ground
Winding down
From one spot
To the next
Connect the dots
And Make
A constellation
Put it all together
And we can see
A stellar dalmatian
Wag the tail 
My Imagination
Runs on and on
An endless conveyor
Factory of thoughts
A flower for yours
A cookie for mine...

Details | Free verse | |

Midsummer Madness

Dull, dank depressing Summer Solstice. A pretty chesnut pony ridden by a little girl on 

the pavement (sidewalk to our cousins across the Pond) wishing to be a wild rider, but 

not along the High Street in this once BLUE Radical part of town if only both were not 

escorted on foot by two women, the mother and the child's sister?

Astounded! I said to a bloke pasing by, "That's legal?!" half like a full capon judge, half 

like a Radical. The bloke broke into a wry smile, shrugging his shoulders replied, "Don't 

intervene". With a pretty white maned pony, two determined women and the little 

hoped to be wild rider wearing a blue helmut, I knew that I was on to a loser, as we 

say; later in the day when a teenager on a bike blocked the pavement - er sidewalk- 

when I and two women, one in a wheelchair and another pushing it could not get by 

the cyclis;t, I, 'The Big I Am', as my father in his dotage called me, with no stentorian 

tone, but authoritative and polite, he moved! An intervention that worked. 

Flabbergasted! When the pretty pony with the white mane and until then co-operative 

demeanour move left blocking the side ah, you know what I mean, the mother led 

the pony, the so assurred rider in the blue helmet with her elder daughter - all - 

onto the road, the pony reared! The mother puzzled said, "She's frightened!" 

seemingly not expecting any traffic. The appearance of a pony on a pavement, you 

know by now what, getting as busy as bees in midsummer, as narrow as a path across 

a field in midsummer, until a semblance of order returned with pedestrians, motorists 

and the long suffering pony suffered itself to be led across the road to the safety of the 

car park - ur- ing lot of the Baptist chapel where behind lay a graveyard of 

Anabaptists, so seriously radical! 

Details | Free verse | |

Goethe ruined my life

                                   'All theory is grey, only life is green'.

                                   Some years ago I thought this up,

                                   too easily impressed with myself, 

                                   wrote it down, told the family - 

                                   then found out that someone 

                                   else with a German name who 

                                   was actually German wrote this 

                                   before me, J.W. von Goethe. 

                                   So you haven't heard of him either? 


Details | Free verse | |

Leafs of Leaves

Leafs and Leaves

If a leaf lives in Canada, does more than one look like a pile of leafs or leaves?

If I were to take those leafs to America, should they still either be called
leafs or really be called leaves?

To read about subject, more pages someone will have to leaf through.

It seems to be beliefs that someone believes in.

There is a chief who is chief over a tribe of Indians who needed a chief.

He has a meeting with a council of chiefs where each one achieves what             they had in mind. The chief grows old and they have to relieve from his        position as Chief and the chief reason is due to poor health. 

Should they leave the Chief in his current chief position which has been the
highest one of all and chief over all chiefs?

What happens to the Chief's wife when the chief dies? Does she still retain
her position as the past chief's wife even though the past chief is deceased
or is she   only widow of the past chief? 

Is the wife either Mrs. or Ms. Chief who now misses the Chief who did die           and pass away?

Now that the Chief is missed and not wanting to make or cause any further
mischief or alarm, what do you think?    I am going to leave the leaf and           Chief issue up to you. Will I ever obtain or find any relief from the whole           chief and leaf issue thing anyway? 

Put this entire thing into whatever poetic form you want to or would prefer.            I will defer to whatever you prefer. 

My mind and head I just had thumpted
Was I politically correct or poetry bankrupt?

James Thomas Horn
Retired Soldier

PS. In Canada, they have maple leafs.

Details | Free verse | |

In the Night

I love to watch the Comedy Channel
And chuckle all evening long,
There's plenty of time for suffering,
Till then I'll sing my humorous song,
But suffering will find me
when it should so desire
But until that time
comes to me,
In tender folds of dreams,
And love real, remembered, or imagined,
Dances into my mind,
to my great delight...
I'll hug my favorite pillow...
and sleep on through the night.

Details | Free verse | |


So it’s over
I feel nothing
All along I thought it was,
Something special,
But nothing?
So what was I afraid of?
The dark has come and gone
And I wasn’t even tough,
 Just slept and woke up at noon
And you were gone!
I felt healthy, completely cured!
Of the malady, vagary, misery, vanity!
Yes, all gone!
Thank God!!

Details | Free verse | |

lets eat

 i wait patiently, 
 slowly the time goes by
 1 hour, 2 hours, 
 now the time is nigh.

 i go to the other room, 
 and find a chair, 
 all i can dream of. 
 is suddenly there

 golden brown skin,
 firm succulent breast,
 long juicy legs,
 firm tasty flesh, and the rest

 my blood boils, 
 my pulse quickens, 
 lord i love, 
 southern fried chicken !!!

Details | Free verse | |

Moon Argues The Sun

Wake up 3 in the morning
walk over to the window 
Look at the moon, wonder what it is thinking
thinking its the best?
shining so bright only one out there in the sky
thinks to it self
I am better than the sun?
at least people can look at me without there eyes burning
and when they see me all alone in the sky that's when they being to write poetry
write songs, books, and speak great thing about me? 
all about my beauty and loneliness
I brighten the dark cold nights?
the sun, what do you do? 
You make people sweat and bring heat to this world
your beauty comes only when you rise and fall
The moons beauty stays with it from when it rises and when go to sleep 
Have you ever watch the moon set?

Details | Free verse | |

The Whistling Prat

The whistling prat glides down the road 
oblivious to his annoying ways 
why he does it I do not know 
a badly tuned Neil Diamond song
at least I think that's what it is 
but now it's stuck right in my head
I start whistling, I just can't stop 
its psychosomatic, infectious or something
whatever it is I want it to go
But defiant it stays, now I'm the whistling prat

Details | Free verse | |


Peering out around and about 
Bewildered puzzled face upon me
Noticing something was just out of place

Though it has probably been here all along
This hesitant pace I’m rambling on 

Wondering to myself aloud 
As if an answer would soon too appear
Right through the paper thin air 

Marveling at this spectacle of a thought
In which I now embrace 
Recapped those of my last stops back behind a ways

Only to discover there is no rendition in recovering ones foot trace 
Silly Silly Grace
For it is of such distaste as lead in the race 

That so patiently abates its next comeuppance 
Although it certainly wasn’t expected
An answer did appear
No not through thin air 

Twas more an epiphany of sorts that stated in recourse
Thou shall not speak to oneself so clearly 
Tis truly kinda creepy 

None the less the answer I do confess is life… 
Simply love purely living

Details | Free verse | |


what strange wonderful clocks women are,
                        biological clocks,for they nest in time;
these gentle,smiling ones,
                         who own the good secret;
for what man,like wman,
                         lies down in darkness,
                                            and then gets up with child;
women,they make the flesh that holds fast,
                          and then binds eternity;
they live inside the gift,
                           they know the power,
                                              they accept it, and need not mention it;
for why speak of time,
                           when you are time,
                                               and can shape those moments into warmth, and action;
how often men envy them,
                           and, sometimes even hate them, these warm clocks;
for they know that they will live forever,
                            men know this too,but,does he really believe it;
for he has carried no burden,and felt no pain,
                             but,the woman,she knows it.

Details | Free verse | |

Too Late

I've been waiting for you for a long long time.
Been sitting here since 1995.
I wonder if your still alive.
It's to bad you don't know how to tell time.
You told me to meet you here at 11:00 AM sharp I stayed there until it got dark.
And guess what I'm still here today! 
Only now I have a broken heart.
Many years we've been apart.
Many years it's been since I've seen your face.
It's now the year 2008.
Nineteen years is a long long wait.
I think I gave you enough time so I guess I'll have to leave you behind.
Your too late this time!

Details | Free verse | |

The Night Was So Cold

The hound dog Curled by the Fire

Details | Free verse | |

Ate a Crocodile

Darkness is the only light
I seek, silence the only sound
I take heed, such is my plight
Scent of death come the bloodhound,
Take me down into the depths of
The cloudy skies drifting above,
I've spun out of your orbit
And I'm off into the nearest sun,
The last bullet I must have bit
Hollowed out the chambers of your gun,
Burning in and burning up
The oxygen in my lungs
I got too close
And singed my nose,
Ladder from the moon
I've broken all the rungs
No way back
Unless I tack on another tack,
Runneth over my cup
Spilled from thy lips and soon,
The stars will fall
Drops of light into my dark, call
Off the ravens and bring
The vultures that sing,
Over my melancholy
No crime or folly,
I've still got a smile
Because an alligator ate a crocodile...

Details | Free verse | |


She's all blah
Unlike aha!
Needle on a thorn
A single kernel of corn,
Deserted land
An empty hand,
Vanilla ice cream
The kind you don't scream
For, strawberry without a straw
Makes for a boring berry cole slaw,
She's all blah
Unlike Moore's law,
A single star
Seen from a parked car,
In a simple night
Like a barren kite,
Kool aid without the cool
A non Swiss army tool,
Such is this her bore
An eaten apple core,
She's all blah
Unlike an outlaw...

Details | Free verse | |

Watch It Buddy

Watch it Buddy,
don't even think about it;
you see me, and I know you know it.
Don't fool with her,
she is mine,
and I'm hers'.
You mess with her,
and you'll see a big man get mean.

Now you just tuck your tail between your chicken legs,
and take yourself back on down the road;
watch it now buddy, don't even look back,
but-but-nothing!- Get outa here and don't come back.

You see she's with me,
and I'm with her.
If you mess with my Earth Angel,
you're going to see a big man get mean!
Take a hike,
a long walk of a short pier,
go hunting for treasure down on skid Row,
but don't think about touching my baby.

Watch it Buddy,
or the next time you come around,
you're going to be cross-eyed.
Have a good-day.


Details | Free verse | |


There’s a rain of gold
And I’m the ray of that hope
My vatic come to pass
And good fortune comes to us
Did I not talk to the gods?
Did I not listen to their words?
The debacle of my enemies cometh
Like a deluge and blitz together
But I’ll live for a long time
For I’ve touched nobody’s dime
Only legless allegations
By spineless alligators
Were it not for the forces of darkness
The poor would have stumbled on riches
Not just beggars with wishes
Beggars saddled and trotting away on their horses
I have a dream, not to lie side by side with predators
Rather to talk one on one with my creator
To take your prayers and tithe to the inner sanctum
To receive your baskets and treasures in God’s name
This is a valiant’s palate of bitter herbs
One day those of garb the royal robes
About me with golden ring
Then you’ll know I’m a supernatural being
Has not   my prophesy come true?
That false prophets will come to you
Ranting about a new leader
I am an adept mind reader
And I see the scriptures of the evil one
In whoever denies that I’m not the one
                                     Bright Githui

Details | Free verse | |


Yes I’m an old dog
But I’ll still get a bite at the bone
The day did find me down
But there’s yet a majestic dawn
That of the morning worms
And of the early birds

Yes I’m late for the banquet
But it’s still until a fortnight
The king may be a little angry
But he must understand I am hungry
Waste therefore not my time
I’ll be late fot the wine

I here laughter and meeting of glasses
It must be the liquor and evil dances
Now I know I’ve missed a thing or two
Please tell me that is not true?
Oh, the pleasures of the king’s imagination
Made real by his hand’s orchestration

Have they got to the main course?
I’m sure some villain will turn it into a racecourse
But ventre a terre upon his heels
Before the first apple peels
And my seat close to the king’s
Before the dinner bell rings
                               Bright Githui

Details | Free verse | |

Out, Out Brief Candle

Life is short.
This, too, shall pass.
Try to be nice today
and not an a___.

Details | Free verse | |

what you shouldn't say

She says unless I want get down I hardly attend
And that I go to too many party events
I reply why couldn’t you agree to the no strings we agreed with?
Why make a promise if you can’t keep it?
I’m going to the bar tonight
I’ll be taking off a girls bra tonight
Be the perfect man but it’s all an act
I won’t call her back
Not care about how she feels
Just trying to undress her get her out those heels
We all remember the naked person we first seen
But I lost my virginity when I was just thirteen
And I bragged like I was king
Which made me look stupid when it was over
To her it was just a fling
As she left me for a man who was older
Why would I ask you to forgive?
What do you expect from a 13 year old kid?
You want to call me names? Cool
Like I don’t know I’m an idiot and a fool
I wish you would stop judging me
Because there’s not another me
What’s wrong being hurt or wrong?
Oh I see you’re chasing my ex
I’ll give you her number let you know what turns her on
But good luck with replacing her ex
You’re wondering how can he put his ex on blast like that
But I’m trying to help her. She keeps sending me texts
And I don’t want her back
Let me be honest I’m about to lose it
If 1 more woman denies that man-flu exists
Probably need a voice in my head saying Alex I better stop yer
I’ll sell my soul for 1p more than the devil offers
You’d think I was the fat one out of D12 I’m bizarre
How has he made it this far?
He just keeps digging a deeper hole
But I fought back from the dead
You can keep my soul
I know where I’m at in my head
You want to judge and call me names? Cool
Like I don’t know I’m an idiot and as fool
Some will sit and wonder
Will he really give out his ex’s number?
Of course I wouldn’t babe
I’m just saying what I shouldn’t say
What all of the dead tortured artists couldn’t say?
I’m speaking for those who don’t get a chance to
You think these rhymes are stupid? Go and listen to that Lil Wayne song you dance to
Let me finish positive, forget the past look for the good in today 

Details | Free verse | |


Mindlessly I was watching 
a T.V. show about an android
who had an artificial soul
when eureka! I realized, for
the first time in 60 years,
that I have a mind!

Silly you say-- we all have one.
Yes, I respond, but how very 
extraordinary it is to have
a mind: rocks don't, nor stars
nor honeybees. Not even my
beloved dog, who has a brain,
(and a good one for an animal)
but he lacks a mind. I know
that for certain because he's 
never once asked me, 
"Is there a God?"

Details | Free verse | |

Lily multiplied

I had been time travelling for about a thousand years
a step away from the milky way now
(engines overheating) you know
my dachshund Lily,floated by and licked my nose 
and did that ear-thing where they curiously flip and 
flop the way they do in ice cream commercials

Lily Carmichael #137 neutron product Earth.
Her breeder had assured me her breed was genuine 
and she would be a good little dog

but Lily had reproduced herself by jumping 
into the halidron multiplier
so now you see, there were seven hundred Lily clones 
floating merrily and bumping into everything

fortunately the ship was vast (and could be seen from 
The Great Wall of China):
the biggest issue was feeding and following them with a poop bag
as we sped from galaxy to galaxy

this remained a problem until I manafactured enough grub bots 
and poop bots to attend to all the Lilies various functions

so... my"Lilies" look cute in their little space suits
and ice cream ears, floating around the master control cabin
near the edge of the known universe

if anyone one needs a good little travel companion 
I have six hundred and ninety nine waiting "for a good home"

Details | Free verse | |

my world is dark and grey

my world is sad, 
its dirty and grey
i can no longer
go on this way

then my vision
blurs, shape sway
its very hard, 
to clearly find my way,

steam, water, spray
carefully i work
tirelessly, daily,
this task i cannot shirk

my task goes on
time slowly passes
lord i hate
cleaning my glasses

Details | Free verse | |

Starring Tonight

What a superb line-up for you tonight ladies and gentlemen
for your entertainment and delectation tonight 
you’ll remember these acts for the rest of your life

Most of your favourites here tonight 

Monsieur Adam Smith presents The Wealth of Nations
Joseph Smith with Jehovah gold plates and a gun shoot out

L Ron Hubbard Dianetics the modern science of mental health
my minds spinning already 
bearded the wise Karl Marx presents Das Capital
Wait almost forgot kind old  uncle Adolph with Mien Kampf

Another beard -  fashions do come and go ! 
yes it’s our old favourite God with the Bible Old and New
Jesus what !  such promise - lets go !

And here we go! the lovely Mohammed with the Koran
no follow up act surely !
his followers are all charged up 
Its explosive !


Details | Free verse | |


Yes I’m an old dog
But I’ll still get a bite at the bone
The day did find me down
But there’s yet a majestic dawn
That of the morning worms
And of the early birds

Yes I’m late for the banquet
But it’s still until a fortnight
The king may be a little angry
But he must understand I am hungry
Waste therefore not my time
I’ll be late fot the wine

I here laughter and meeting of glasses
It must be the liquor and evil dances
Now I know I’ve missed a thing or two
Please tell me that is not true?
Oh, the pleasures of the king’s imagination
Made real by his hand’s orchestration

Have they got to the main course?
I’m sure some villain will turn it into a racecourse
But ventre a terre upon his heels
Before the first apple peels
And my seat close to the king’s
Before the dinner bell rings
                               Bright Githui

Details | Free verse | |


i know the world enough to where i can walk through forests &
dodge each blade of grass, defy the likes of definition & let my breath
just pass. magic is meaningless, tricks & illusions based upon the
trick of the eye, the human factor, the inevitable blink. magic transformed
upon awakening, realized itself contradictory & sulked back onto the
shelf. the need for entertainment has (at last) been relinquished. adults
have had their skulls picked apart by the young, each undesirable portion
tossed away. there goes [war&worry&work&waste] in the name of 
simplicity, in the name of Taste. 

it's humorous how you rely on the movement of picture frames from one
corner to the next, doing the same things, saying the same things, 
never leaving anything to question. ignorance is bliss, little miss-
i took Their dirtynailed hand & let Them lead me, sure They'd know 
where exactly it was i was supposed to go. despite growing weary
under the weight of hesitancy, still the hand pulled me on, dragged
my breaking body as it cracked with each step. 

this is maturity, this is guidance, this is something i you we all go 
through-- & if i don't? --then you'd be one lost lost little girl, wouldn't
you? i know my god never said that freedom is a sin, that choice is
wrong. his words are lyrics that formed the every alternative, yet you're
reflexive refusal is drowning out his song. no wonder the innocents
have ceased to dance, have remained seated in silent penance for a 
deed they can't recall. 

it was something offhand in the beginning, without logic, almost but
not quite insanity- this continuous idea/phrase/thought that was said
by accident. (do you remember how words really sound?) bombarded
by the repitition, hammer on the head, death without dead- (watch the
welt rise & turn red). i'll just say i understand, even though i don't.

elevate each bone in the skeleton until each one points up, focus
on the relinquishment of order as you spread your eyes wide open.
the lids roll down the kneecaps, & fall back to the dark side of the
skull, exposing the body in its most gruesome beauty. the pupils 
fuse to one & dilate to envelop the heart. exercize the foreign 
concept of patience & go through this pain to achieve this pleasure.
upon acceptance of self-noself, nirvana is grasped.

Details | Free verse | |

holiday gluttony

as america’s gluttons gear up for a day of
mass stuffing of the face
to celebrate the 
genocide of native-americans in this country
one can’t help but find the dual-speak 
concerning the 
need to be
to be a humorous inner monologue which plagues the minds of those who
stand in the check out line at the grocery store
flipping through the glossy mags
hoping that one day they will be able to flatten that stomach out
enhance those muscles & breasts 
as well as gain fuller more lush
amidst all the other physical attributes of the
beautiful people.

the thin-minded glutton walks a fine line at the family table
as s/he stuffs themselves but in the same moment
counts each calorie going in
with the foreknowledge of just how much exercise & 
dieting it will take to work it off.

in fact, the conversation at the table might even
dabble between talk of how much said individuals have gained 
or lost throughout the year
as the buttered rolls are passed.

in the rest of the world 
people who cannot stuff themselves in the name of genocide
envy the occupants of the empire
(whose thumb they are pinned under anyway)
already thin (and not airbrushed)
for what it is that they need is 
nutrients, clean water, protein &
a better life---
and as we pass the candied yams
we are glad that we are not yet living on the streets
with the 40,000 or so registered in NYC’s homeless shelters alone
or for that matter
unable to buy food because our weekly budget is stretched so very 
because we are unemployed &
waiting on the next check.

Details | Free verse | |

Dual Controls, the Electric Blanket From Hell...

This is a true story, a legend in the family, as related by my favorite aunt and 
uncle awhile back.  It happened, I'm not smart enough to make something this 
bizarre and humorous up....So, strap in,.....Here we go!...!!!...

"If you want,
to stay warm at night...
Just get an electric blanket,
They're "out of sight"!!

You can turn down,
The house's temp...
And still cuddle up warm,
In spite of the winter's
Cold hearted contempt...

But if you get one blanket,
With dual controls,
For husband and wife,
And even if, you have, a very long life,
Make sure you understand,
All the blanket's dial setting roles...

See, my aunt and my uncle,
On one cold winter's night...
Went to bed together,
And turned off the light...

They set their controls,
The way that they did like,
But trouble soon brewed,
They were fast approaching...
More than one "yike"!!!!!

Details | Free verse | |

An old familiar

An old familiar,
all too clear;
as you roll on your back
and new tempo appears.

Repeated chug 
of train runs through;
no nightmare is this
for it’s all from you.

Constant your whistle,
your engine is stoked;
as I try to disturb you
you snort, gag and choke.

Rolled over you're peaceful,
all is quite in our home;
the train in the distance,
'Till on rear you do roam.

I love you dear dearly
as I lay by your side,
and I’m drifting to sleep now
with sun, sand and tide.

Details | Free verse | |

I'm Laughing

Oh dear oh dear
I'm laughing
My life away I fear
So much I'm chaffing
From the lungs
I can see my abs
Forming rungs
I chase chocolate labs
Because I want to taste
For myself, in my haste
I try to skip
But the trip
Is short
Like a skort
Beneath a shirt
As I flirt
With death
Out of breath,
Cause the tears
Are too real
From my laughter
As the sad clown nears
And I hand him a happy meal
Hope he likes ranch on his happily ever after...

Details | Free verse | |

He Will Pluck Your Nose

Be careful of this sweet charming guy
He will captivate you with ever sweet loving words
Make you feel very good about him
As he wears a descent look
Don't ever go for his age
As he is quite young at heart
And the very next moment he will pluck your nose.
Well can't help it.
It's his trend
As none dares to question him.
Be careful of sweet words from any sweet charming guy.

Geetha Jayakumar

© 2014 Geetha Jayakumar

Details | Free verse | |

Classy broad picking at nachos

Her good and grace
Placed in disgrace
As the human moment
And cheese-covered roadkill
Gets the best of her better soul
She snatches the dripping morsel
This Byzantine beauty lets it roll
Wiping the lost drop of nachoness
With dexterity and pedicured elegance
Only to lick it clean and nasty
Before anyone realizes
Her subtle act of triumph
Makes her one of us.


Details | Free verse | |

A Scale of Self-Righteousness

POTENTIAL is what you may or may not have,
according to someone else.

ABILITY is what you have at a particular moment,
but is not always apparent.

TALENT is what you think you have,
but may not actually.

SKILL is what you've acquired over a long period of time,
but may lose without use.

TOLERANCE is what you display,
only when they agree with you.

MODESTY is what you express,
but only when they are impressed.

HONESTY is what should be used,
but only when you're not endangering yourself.

SINCERITY is what you must have,
even when you're endangering yourself.


HUMOR is what you must find, because we
all know that you're not perfect.

LOVE is what you need to express, because
We all know that no one's perfect.


Details | Free verse | |

When Christy Gets Misty

When Christy cries,
the birds stop chirping,
When tears flow from her eyes,
the rain stops, for it she is usurping
The very power of nature...
With her deep, deep emotion,
More powerful than the tidal surge
of a seismic excited ocean
Christy and I talk,
through poetry's strong power
be it humorous or dour...
We've both walked the same sad halls
of life and love's many pratfalls
We've never met, and likely never will
but through words that we exchange
we struggle to ascend life's cragged hill

Details | Free verse | |

Bypass for visionary

Our holy mother is a savior
so swears the hill in Medjugorje
I'm asking you politely to
find your own nervous breakdown
(leave me and mine alone)

morning cleansing
regularly starts 
with coffee and cigarette


while mirrors narrow humans
one man
expired dated
is staring at empty aquarium

one man
one woman
we all end up at tailor's in narrowing

there where angels are mourning over fall
seems like gold
mother's words

best selling story
about prince on the white horse
for end
regularly gets a donkey

and that is

Details | Free verse | |


Crawling through the bush, swinging
    grasses behind, soft breeze flows
    and grows wilder as the night becomes deeper.
Breathing and puffing she listens for the prey, amidst cries 
of crickets, in deal  with disappearing chuckling of birds.

Then she captures his bold staunch body 
Innocent but intelligent, he admires the beauty of the setting sun
Sighing to himself, astonished by Mother Nature
                 Then suddenly........

Hunting was once a mans game
Today; the modern day we live it to the women
Not that the end is near, no,
But the roles have changed
Time brings with it wonders
Culture is someone else, women are the hunters

Written 2006 
Just the young thoughts of the young mind