Sad, as it maybe, I had to break my OWN heart,
Too many nights, I sat there all torn apart
A dream girl,
Sitting under its own corrupted auspices sky
You the poet, in disguise
Telling white lies about, your love for me
Saying I'm a boon from the sky....
A match, a queen, your muse, your everything
I'm no-good, I admit this once more,
Your advice, I forever adorn
It's time I follow the crying crows, and praise what is left
Afraid to listen my rhymes weren't cutting it,
I release it all!
Your smiles, words, and worn out shoulders
I walked away
I acted on
Without a word, in a fetal stage I awake
Tonight you carry a tune for others
A story of a man who stole my soul of sins
A poet, I long forever more
Always, you will own the only sound that still beats inside
To live alone, in silence, asleep in my own world
I had to let go,
-Of him, whose name I whisper in darkness
The only thing that remains, are the echoes of pouring rain
Too many reasons, writer's block, took full moon
You are a poet, from another lifetime,
Down in Mandalay, I can no longer ask you to stay
Reading everything about my life, yet you can't answer
Alliterating poems, greeting every dark shadow, normally yours
Many nights I waited, long for the moment of my OWN return
I dusted myself off like yesterday's verse, yesterdays dirt
Cobweb, remain on my page
My pen now sits like a twig
No motion, since the day I decided I am not worthy of the wait
You the poet, who walks my way
I pressured less of me every day
Like Aspen, a forever winter cold!
In your eyes, you wonder why,
I trace the white smoke standing in your place?
To savor your words, once more
It's too soon to breathe again.
I hope you understand,
How can I continue to love, when I don't even love myself?
Wind whistling through the weeping willow tree
Its teary leaves drip silently into the fast flowing river
They float freely dancing in the dappled daylight
Caught in the rustic reeds they plan their escape
10th December 2014
Those deep caramelized eyes
hidden behind continuous cries
Days, weeks, months
sitting at his side
holding his hand
the one who held your heart
the one who made you his bride
Lost, deeply entranced in memories
Nights laying by the fire
Captivated by desire
Those walks barefoot in the sand
Oh those days were grand
The soft slow kisses
The day you became his Mrs.
Making dreams come true
All the I love you's
Forty years ago when we met
sharing an umbrella
so I wouldn't get wet
You made me laugh
.... at your jokes
I brushed your hand
and hair with little strokes
When we got to my flat
didn't want to go in
You grabbed my hand
and pulled me in
That kiss was so sweet
One we would forever repeat
Where has the time gone
It seems like only yesterday
when we had our first date
You were not like anyone I had ever met
Such a gentleman, you were great
All those late night talks
cuddled on the couch
That little twinkle in your eye
You'll always be my guy
I miss those times
We'd sit on the porch
drinking our tea
I'd look at you
you'd look at me
We'd stare up at the night sky
Wishing upon falling stars
Picking one out
making it ours
I still hear our song
I still wear your favorite scent
I still long for your touch
where has all the time went
I know our time won't be long
I must remain strong
those tired baby blues wearily open
gently squeezing my hand
tears roll down
you gaze lovingly at me
Another place, another time
again it will be we
fade to black
Ghost knight, playing Tolkienesque chords
over common, white noise,
I still hear you, cosmic brother,
strumming the songs of pentagrams
from your optical guitar,
like that scene out of Star Wars,
all were always welcome at your wild bar –
interplanetary troubadours, euphoric warriors
or a ninja geek incognito, a wistful rhymer
who knew truth is seldom whispered,
and love is the only real free-artistry,
requiring no discipline, no perimeters,
no limits and no definitions
I still hear you, cosmic brother, so alive,
streaming a high volume of colours,
blue still holds a torch for you, loud and proud,
red engulfs night without one regret,
but its your delicate gold, my friend,
I can never forget
Lost in a poets convention,
I can't recall every poem, I've read through the years
50518, unique comments I 'validate'---
Thank You For Sharing Your Happy and Sad tears
Since March 24, 2010 In the mist of every line,
I'm sending special hugs, for he/she that favorite me through the years
A praise to all poets mentioned and not mentioned
I will miss, the sweetest girl on this block LEONORA G.,
She treats me with love, adores my words and twisted poetry.
I will start with the soups famous October, 7th babies,
Frank and Kash, Debbie D, and myself, these lines belong to us,
Our best characteristic has everything to do with the mind
In our poetic hearts you'll find the symbol of justice and balance
This is not a song, it is not a poem, it's a free falling memo written with style
Back in March 2013, I said it then, I'll say it again
Andrea, you and only you are the Poet Queen
By the Queen, sits the Poet King of rhymes, Robert L. Hinshaw
Thank you both for never stepping on your loyal subjects
Carol B., & Linda Marie, no one can replace the hole you left inside
I will miss all the little poetry pups, who came and sat by my side
MAHIMA and Saanvi, and Sabrina, thank you for the encouragement
Phyllis, Joyce, Francine, Rhonda, Betty, sweet Karen A., and Catie,
Clap your hands for the lovely quiet soup ladies.
Okay, maybe not Karen A., and Catie, these ladies love speaking their minds:)
SARA K., a mentor to some, a Fairy Godmother in my book
I will miss her "Magic Pen like Wand" dearly.
Gail, thank you for spreading your wings, and teaching us how to fly.
Hopefully --wings are a nice gesture, --waving--
"One day I'll see you again, my friend."
Daver Austin, "Go ahead, make my day" thank you for the show
Now, you know why I referred to you as, "The Clint Eastwood of Poetry."
Russell Survey, encouraged my days and moods with his kind words
Scribe ML., where are you my friend?
Don't you know your BIGGEST FAN misses you!!!
Dr Ram, Bindu V, Litan D., Donna J, Shadow, Sandra A., Peter Durgan,
Giorgio V., Mystic Rose, BL Devnath and of course our Nette.
Thank you for being kind and rewinding and replying to every note.
Joseph M., Caleb S., Vincent F., Juliet L., Lucy Carrillo, Scott 37, Johnny R.,
Kelly D., thank you for the honor in always honoring my words
Roger Horsch meets Eileen Ghali, your smile, her smile always made me smile,
No matter how many miles apart, our smiles always met on the same page.
Jenish, Don J., S.Z. Kamoonpuri, Gideon, Gary, Austin E., and Jody M.,
Fatima N., Mark N., Aiyah B., Ralph F., Kathryn C., Elly, Ayesha A.,
Clay W., Erich, Syam, MIKKI, John B., Olusegun, *Sukmawati* Gwen,
Delysia H., Frederic P., Richard L., Brenda L., Keith, Debbie G.,
Thank you for painting the best IMAGERY
Michale Clarke, Charma C., Wayland B., Jancarl C., Carrie, and Harry,
M&M, Abdulhafeez, Michael B., Maria P. S., CHAN and Mandy T.
You are only the beginning of what makes this a good community
Arlid A., Dinda M., Silly Billy, Tim Ryerson, we go way back.
Ravindra, Kim M., Richard S., Honestly JT., Wade A., Dom-X.
The ingredients in your poems, makes the best soup remix
Joe M., Jack H., James H., James P., Tim B., Jon A. C., Allan K., Matthew A.
Deb Wilson, David S., David William, Thomas S., Cecilia M.
Keep that pen flowing for tomorrow needs poets like you.
Justin B., Laura B., your words will continue to be a part of me.
Owen Y., and John L., your visits, your friendship I will never forget
Yasmin and Carl F., hanging out with you on the soup was the best.
Cherl Dunn, and Colleen Bono, SandyIvy, I will miss everything about you,
Mostly I will miss your friendship and the way you took care of me.
Poet and sister Skat, keep rocking what I can't....
Copy paste your love, welcome in the new.
Show Edwina, Robin, Sam B., and all the NEW POETS they belong
Last but not least-- Behind every mess, they are the best
--Craig Cornish and Cyndi McMillan
What have you done, I admit without you this place would have been no fun.
Thank you for the spin, making every penny worth our paid premium memberships
Before I forget,
I want to take this time to reminisce and add two old friends to my hot list.
Nikko and Chris A..... My first POETRY SOUP FRIENDS.
I will never forget you, and all the fun moments we had,
Back when the soup was not like this:)
Chris, can you ever forgive me, I never stepped up to say "I was Sorry!"
As you know my kindness is my weakness
Now it's time to be strong and move on
If one day I return, then you know, I fell off the wagon
And, into arms and luring fingers of Team Poetry Soup
The Poet Destroyer
I think it’s time I write
Write you OUT
Of the coming pages of my life
On every page
that's ever been
Keeping the plot a disguise
My heart's demise
Slowly but surely
By your unseen hand
I reread chapters
You were in my yesterday
You haunt my today
I don’t want you in my tomorrow
Not when you only bring me pain
I’m going to write you out
Cause I couldn’t write off
The debt of pain
I STILL OWE
To your oh so exacting heart...
I can't write it off
I’ll do the next best thing
I'll write you OUT
Out of the next scintillating sizzling sexy sentence
Out of the next dreamy dreamscape
Out of the next contentment compartment
Out of the next feminine fruition fantasy
For you've written only fragments
Sentence fragments of the greater picture me
I’m going to write you OUT
Of MY book
The book of ME
Oh, it could have been
The best seller of your LIFE
But now you'll never know
Cause the coming pages are clean
for some beautiful soul
Some expert author
With the plot of pleasure
Bursting from his heart
I'll LET HIM
Scribble his lines
Those glorious curves and dots
all over my body and mind
all over me...
Yes....spill his passion inked words
I'm going to write IN
Oh...so deep and gloriously...IN
The book of ME
On the edge of the sand
I sit alone 'n perpetual solitude
where I am least without you
Embracing a worn out sweater
I recall your name
written in the stars
I recall your life
carved upon my heart
This heart which never lived
to know love's depth
Smudged lashes flutter
as fallen dewdrops trickle
across the pale glow of my cheek
I gasp for air ,still holding to a dream
which dies ever so slow
before it is ever born.
With heavy eye-lids
I gaze into a starry sky
awaiting the moon to move on
Cuz I know,You know
The moon always moves on
But tonight,tonight is the longest
of dark nights
Tonight every spirit is silent
and everything is still
It seems to me but yesterday
You were here by my side
I believed We'd come to be
yet We never will
Maybe in a tomorrow
a fragrant wind would breathe
its zephyr breeze
upon the scarlet of my lips
But I know,It would not be your kiss
Or maybe I would hear
a hush-hushed whisper
'neath the tender of my ear
But I know,It would not be your song
which sprinkles everlasting bliss
It seems to me but yesterday
You were here by my side
I believed We'd come to be
yet We never will
Maybe in a day after,or ever after
the small red lighthouse
brings back your sails to my land
and our footprints lead the path
to where last peach trees stand
But till then,empty is the womb
which births your touch
from wafts of waves
Sterile is the sea
which calls your name
Till then, Aborted is each thought
which owns this soul
Till then I would not be here
Our world would be forsaken
Till then, every remembrance
of who We are
would all be gone.
When I leave this world
It won’t be silently
NO, I will leave behind a note
A note of reproach
For the sin of humanity
In the inability to feel with…to feel for
To truly love
Another human being
Who has the curse of being….
When I leave this world
My words I’ll behind
To a world that was unkind
To a world that only loved
Cookie cutter shapes and sizes
A world with a status quo
That couldn’t be tampered with
A world that embraced
The happy….oh the happy
Those with perpetual smiles
With lilting voices of angels
And with beauty of the ages
Those worthy of love
Serene angelic doves
Who never felt despair
But were always bright and fair
When I leave this world
I will leave behind
A legacy for those
Who were unloved
Who didn’t have sound minds
Who struggled along the way
Who tried to be beautiful
Who tried to smile
Through ripped and aching hearts
Who tried to stay afloat
When others would just gloat
Those who tried to be brave
But longed for the grave
To those I will say
“You are beautiful
You are worthy
You are precious
You are priceless
Your mind though tormented
Is full of beautiful treasure
Don’t blame yourself
For not being able to fit
In this selfish and crazy world
You are not a misfit
The world is unable
To make itself fit
To the dazzling beauty of you
So, just do what it takes
Just do what it takes
To get through the pain
To get to tomorrow
You’ll hear my voice
Whisper to you in the breeze
Telling you to make the world
A better place
A more caring place
Because of YOU!"
Eileen Manassian Ghali
Darkness of night,
introduce me to what lurks
underneath your enchanting moonbeams.
I know that I should stay away,
yet, I am drawn to these silent things
that could easily end me.
I am not afraid of the supernatural.
I am spellbound, enraptured, mystified
by these psychotic creature's requiem dance,
that captures my soul
as it's own possession.
Darkness of night,
take me into your underworld,
where the arms of roaming specters
can totally envelope me,
like a densely tangled spider-web,
with no intention to ever let go.
Allow them to take me away,
to a deep place where, peacefully,
my dying soul can finally rest.
Darkness of night,
tell the devil only this....
he can have all of me,
to punish in any befitting manner.
I have already been through torture,
known pain, lived with loneliness,
and seen hell on earth.
The devil may care to try,
but he cannot hurt me any more.
Darkness of night,
say goodbye for me.
Shout high up to the heavens
and tell the sun it needs to shine
no longer on me.
Dark Poetry Contest
My life began with you and me
Two hearts, two minds, two pieces of a dream
Two individuals who loved without conditions
Two people who felt feelings beyond recognition
Two who became one like God planned long ago
My life began with sunshine streaming through the trees
Lighting up the world with misty sunbeam reflections
Of all that has been or ever will be mirrored in the brightness
Sparkling with effervescent fantasy and heartbeats
Beating out a rhythm of pulsating aspirations
My life began with sensations of colorful flames
Flickering with hypnotizing hues of blushing songs
Captivating my heart with mystery and wonderful thoughts
Reaching into my senses and pulling out a gentle touch
Carefully caressing each whisper of imagination
My life began with intense feelings exploding within
Capturing my muse, my inspiration, my idea of what should be
A new moment, a new thought, a new promise
All emotions piercing the inky ocean of feeling
Until a single tear splashes against my cheek
My life began with the thrill of renewed hope
A moment impassioned with ambition’s desire
Assurances of talent’s perceptions being cleared
Anticipation sweetly breathing out a tender concept
Reminding me that there are always new days to begin again
My life began with a single tearstained thought
Breathing reminders of precious moments spent with you
All sparkling with promises for a lifetime of love and passion
Carefully folded into threads of sincerity and serenity
Echoing a soft farewell that continues to resonate through me
©2014 by Regina Riddle
Romance was not our muse, he types
Not writes his farewells before each morning -
A simple 'Till tomorrow' left by cooling sheets.
We started as lovers, before we were friends
Speaking in touches instead of thoughts
Every night he clouded our secrecy
With cigarette smoke, an ashtray beneath my bed,
A counter of the days we were spent.
But a playful joke turned bittersweet, I slipped
My favourite glinting stud, a gift
In his pocket lining, finding instead a reminder
Of sin and silent lives, a ticket
To home and back to reality.
In dawn’s light and an empty bed, I wrapped
Bruised red lips around his fading cig, enjoying
The lingering taste of him and his ashy breath.
Romance was not our muse, I type
Not write my farewells before the morning -
A simple 'Good-bye' left by cooling sheets.
And I love you
Like a dog’s first date
With a fire hydrant
No, that’s not right.
I worship you
As if you were a wine collection owned by Jesus
Minus the prerequisites
Wait, it’s you again, my yesterday.
Why are your eyes seducing my stanzas?
You linger in my mist
Equivalent to a bipolar lighthouse
Blinking rapidly for hope to notice your sadness
While your light bulb remains cracked
Ok, back to it.
No longer do I need careless whispers.
I just want to hold your hand
Swinging life away from skeletons’ demeanor
Be my sun, as I rise
I’ll be your sun, as we set
Damn it, I smell your unwashed lyric again!
Why do your illiterate, colored eyes remain atop my mountain?!
I tossed your heart off my peak
That humidified night in June
When God’s tornado told me to stay away from your fallacy!
You’ve become a rejected stranger, stranger.
Sigh, ok, one last try.
You want me to be your diamond
On platinum band
But, I just want to be an “I miss you”, tomorrow.
I can ask no more than this.
To be a chorus in your daily songs,
You continue glazing my thoughts
Hang gliding your way through my handsome vernacular
You were an exclamation point
Turned into closure’s period
Now, my fortitude shall delete your dialect
With whimsical laughter compiled
From shattered dreams of old
An illuminated solstice
To onyx, cotton puffs in my Ionosphere
My Angel, I’m sorry I drifted against my sea of distant memories.
Love does not frighten me.
But, it tries.
I can only be certain of today.
I will sacrifice my pride
To become a pauper in your royal presence
If it means our eyes can become a correlated breath
Be my tomorrow
These stanzas were only ever gifted for you
Be my tomorrow
For I’ve dishonorably discharged my yesterdays
©Drake J. Eszes
He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died,
he has not been the same.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it,
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain,
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best,
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows
what happens next.
All results of
The sweetest sounds of burning trees
A gentle stroking in the breeze
The calm has lasted past the storm
Cloudy visions, Satan’s roar
Too many sights have passed my way
A time found only in the haze
The softest screams are running bare
My aching bones creak as I stare
You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark
The battle’s started at the end
No one is coming to repent
The sinners grab their wine from prey
No judgment calling here to stay
The sport is reckless to be told
The one is laughing at his souls
It falters nowhere to be sure
The power grows forevermore
Like a spirit in the wind
I have no say in where you’ve been
But cross the line to come to me
And pay the price for ecstasy
You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark.
R.I.P. William Dale Eubanks
d. July 1, 2012, aged 68 yrs., Tennessee Ridge, Tennessee
Death came as no surprise
the first Sunday in July;
it claimed you, on a ridge in Tennessee,
with kin who took you in and waited with you
through the last hard days.
You kept what fears you had well hid,
did not betray with loud complaint
the fate you could not but know awaited.
A smile, a joke, a hug – exotic meals –
And genuine interest greeted all you met.
And you were, certainly, never boring
but well-traveled and smart
beyond the telling.
We’ll miss your wit, your bright demeanor,
and will remember all you freely gave ---
and what you took from us
with your passing.
Another emerald leaf
Eve of sinful revelation
Swaying flat on asphalt conundrums
Her dismissive solidarity
Holding of hands
Like desert nights under hollow rain
Tomorrow she’ll tell me she loves me
Without calling me, “baby”
Lover’s pacifier, unwashed
Winds of remembrance
Shut away in Pandora’s tossed box
For I, kneel
Towards angelic genesis
With diamond clarity
Embrace of cupid’s incipience
R e m o v e
My voice ascends
Into constellation octaves
©Drake J. Eszes
Because the decision
To say goodbye
Is too hard to take
Because my heart will break
With your last embrace
My soul bleed
To see your need
I say goodbye
Slowly…I start to fade
A little less every day
A little more every day
Almost imperceptible my retreat
So that you don’t notice
So that you don’t weep
Bracing your heart
For the time
When I will be no more
A gradual silent goodbye
No need to give reasons why
F A D E……
While sun rays give in to shade
A time to savor every last moment
G R A D U A L L Y
To cease to be
A slowly ebbing tide
That pulls away from you
Without you realizing
Till you are standing on only the
Of where I bathed you
Then you will know
Then you will see
That I’m gone…
Then it will be too late
To beg me to stay
And ask for reasons
A gradual goodbye
For my heart is about to die
I must leave
You will grieve
But you will be strong
You will carry on
For I withdrew
Little by little
My little songs
My little words
From your heart
Till one day
O N E D A Y
Eileen Manassian Ghali
The rose has been raped of her beauty
Stolen by hordes of dreary lines
And to be leached further still
Until nothing remains of her
But yellowing birthday cards
And sugar-free quotes, in italics
Like a rose is like nothing at all
Scattered on the ground,
Out of their element.
Deprived of its origin.
Clarity no longer visible.
In the purest snow,
Frozen to the core.
Stripped away so rash.
Trampled into dust.
Stolen without knowledge.
Endless death fighting to prevail.
I stumble and fall when I'm amidst the storm
As I watch you walk away from me
A tear rolls down as I look away from thee
I'm still learning to smile now
My heart is in pieces as I silently say goodbye
Won't you turn back once just to say that you tried?
Each day reminds me what I'm still missing
If only you would come back to me
I weep for something that's already been lost
So I turn back into the illusion of my own world
Ignoring the words of people as they talk
I've given up on you now
There's no use in chasing the past
But I can't move forward now...
Dreams they're all around me,
it's hard to tell real life.
Monsters like in fairly tales,
my emotion turns to strife.
The sun starts getting closer,
my skin it starts to burn.
I look for somewhere to run
but don't know where to turn.
He makes his way towards me majestic also wise,
it was hard for me to distinguish between what's loving and what's lies.
My heart it starts to flutter,
My body starts to fall-
I try to scream out for help
but I don't know who to call.
Thus the journey's over,
now I'm on the ground.
Tears fall from my eyes-
my heart nowhere to be found.
Daydreaming on a glorious green mountain hillside.
Dazzling Carolina Blue background, watching white cloud performances.
Strong wind blows, goodbye forever!
Daydreaming on a white sandy beach.
Dazzling ocean green background, watching waves come in and go out.
Sandcastles built, goodbye forever!
On a green hillside,
Daydreams of cloud performances
A strong wind blows, Bye.
On white sandy beach,
Daydreams of watching waves splash.
Sandcastles gone, Bye.
My new home is in a new country.
I know very little of the language and culture.
Memories of my old country will be in my heart forever
The love of my old country will always remain.
I leave for a better life and new opportunities
Hoping to make a bright future for me and my family.
Silent tears as friends hug restricted bodies,
Lingering awkward silences for moments long gone.
A hugs breath on his cheek as friends leave him alone,
Lingering smoke and whiskey shades tints the mind.
A parting quip and a crystal tear shivers in the air,
The gesture wave of failing friendship walks unsteady.
A lonely discomfort nips the soul, a hugs breath,
Clutching a card stained with friends pain,
He leaves for home and retirements reign.
2008 © S.de B.
generic minds listen to generic music
have generic thoughts that are unknowingly abusive
watch generic things talk about generic things
gee this generic *****is spreading like a disease
better get your flu shot
thats what they said to me
a suicidal vaccine
a subliminal killing spree
its contagious and the outrageous
thing about it is that the people are blind in an eye
that they didn't even know they had
it's sickening to watch these clueless civilians
inside the looking glass
with nightmares of being free
without a key to their mind
for it is trapped in the frequency
in the illusion of time
bathed in our universe
killing all that refuse to see
those that admit to hypocracy
or see the message in hip hop
how cant you see
the message in the lyrics that
bring adolescents to their knees
from bullet wounds conflicting their flesh
contradicting that they're the best
but the songs keep telling them that they dont need no rest
that they dont wanna go home
that they should ride alone
with the gat as their only companion
and so the only path they choose is the one that they're told
until they grow old and hope turns to a window pane
inside a window pane, until all they feel is pain
they realize that the music itself is ashamed
so whats to look up to
when you cant even speak when you cant even walk because you look so bleak
your eyes are sunken from the tv you're infested with the dee zees
now its too late to turn around and live for your conscious
so when youre screaming oh please
close your eyes and bring your mind to life
open your eyes for the first time
and never wonder why
since the answer this entire time
has been inside
and you better find it before you die
you dont want your soul to be in a pool with all the others
a buncha brothers missing their mothers
but only seeing strangers
only feeling the haters
wishing they would have used their minds when they had them
and now its too late,
now it's time for another new born fate to grab them
- I sent you a warm summer smile with the sun
- But you did not receive
- I sent you sweet little kisses with the wind
- But they did not reach to you
- I sent you warm thoughts on a dusty country road
- But the thoughts was gone by the dust
- I sent you my tears with the waves
- But you could not see them
- I sent you my weeping heart
- But you did not know
- I sent you a hundred deep red roses
- But you had traveled your own way
A-L Andresen :)
There's not much to say.
I knew her, know some things,
but certainly not all.
I know how little she put up with fools,
how her cooking surpassed so many others',
how simultaneously sweet and hard she could be.
I know about her smoking,
about her jewelry, her faith,
all these I'll hold close to me.
Every single spark, every star,
shines with such a glow, such a marvelous radiance,
that we can't gaze too closely at it,
lest we cause ourselves pain.
And yet, despite ourselves, again and again,
because it's not within us to resist
the sheer beauty of it all,
of stories and of life.
A bouquet of tulips for you.
We all miss you already, Grandma.
I miss you.
I know Heaven's got you, taking no guff as always,
making sure we're all doing alright.
I love you.
Andrew James (McGillicutty) Sprouse
I sailed unaware into
the ocean currents
of her life:
desired to ride
them with her;
the ocean ways, a
seed of love
planted in the soil of
my heart had taken root
and grew--only to perish
a young hope
though I loved her,
like a careless
In spite of
this and myself,
in her stare;
at the outlines
of her graceful
I did wonder:
a Helen of Troy, a prize,
on whose loveliness
so richly gorged!
But never was
a lonely man
as she could
not return my
with equal measure of feeling.
I would be more
glad had she been
unwedded to another,
could easily be within
In time, I
and love, or the
appearance of it--like
flushed down the
with her parting
If I were stronger
I’d say a permanent goodbye
No, it’s too hard
Too damn hard
They tell me to be grateful
For all that I have
And I am
But they don’t see
They don’t hear
The voice inside
That torments me
The demon of my failures
That accuses me
I’m not good enough
I was never good enough
For the world
Striving for the ideal
But all I see
Are broken people
Baggage not willing to be let off
At any station
Because though it is so heavy to carry
It offers "security"
No, life is too hard
But what is the use
When I tear down
With my own hands
I tear down
Walls of comfort
For the woman I used to be
The woman with dreams
Walking along the rosy pathways
Not seeing the thorns
That true love
Will win the day
There is no TRUE love
I challenge you
Find me the source
Tell me where it abides
Where it hides
IF you know
If you can honestly say
Your heart has never been torn
If you can look me in the eye
And say you have never lied
You have never strayed
With your heart
Someone who loved you
I wait for the dawn to come
When I can swallow the pill
That brings me happiness
Makes the world that rosy place
Where I can again dance
And yet I know in my heart
It’s not really me
There is a me no one sees
The woman behind the face
In a lonely place
To say goodbye
Eileen Manassian Ghali
The Old Salt was a special man who came along in a time
when he was needed most.
A time that is now gone forever.
When men believed and sacrificed, when hero’s walked the earth in mass.
When patriotism was not just a word
by what men lived and judged the worth of each,
a man who lived a life most of us cannot comprehend.
An era now gone as this warriors tour of duty ends at this station,
and begins anew in the heavenly fleet.
Sail on Sailor into your unaccompanied tour,
we salute you.
What greater honor, that when a man moves forward,
he leaves behind in each of us the best of what he was.
A defender, protector, supporter, victor, a warrior,
the last of the breed from an era when ships were made of wood
and men were made of steel.
The Old Salt has reported for duty that takes him away from us for now.
Those of us who remain behind,
remember, and will continue to remember,
because he now resides forever in our hearts.
As I look up at night, I envision The Old Salt,
a beret draped just above the eye,
as he draws upon his pipe,
quietly he waits.
The guardian of heaven’s gate.
Open your eyes to the ever turning skies
I want to here with me through the night
My heart yearns into your soul
Burning as if newly lit coal
I bravely submerg the embers
That the time I have can be spent with you
And I remember each kiss every moment
I was caught in your love that for just this day I remember
So what happened was a chance for your love
A time that I kept in a locket tied with a kiss
I wanted you to feel, to love, to slumber
And to awake in my arms with that times kept bliss
I lay silient in an umber
And the storm calls to me in ways you'll never understand
A gentle call that urges my soul forth
The lighting guiding a path for my feet to walk
Between the stones and ash of all that once was
I stand in the echoing silence of the rain
It drops down upon my skin like the blessing waters of heaven
Soothing me, lifting the weight from my body
I feel at once as if I am home
Standing amid two dimensions
Caught between two skies - here and there
The night wraping around me in warmth
The gentle wind lifting me off my feet
Drops from the clouded moon washing away my body
and I am left just a soul, an essence
The storm calls me forth from beneath my roof
Beckoning me into its depth
I stand among the reeds in the basin
They dance and sway as if welcoming me
And I sway with them back
Caught up in the power that charges the air
That threatens to sweep me away
If the ground will just loosen its hold
The thunder rumbles a low welcoming growl
And I get pleasently lost within it
I am so small compared to its vastness
I close my eyes and succumb to the skies wishes
Rising higher until my feet no longer touch the ground
My fingertips touch the liquid color of the stars
A sigh drifts from my lips
There is no need of thought to stay afloat
There is no demand to breathe in air
No crushing weight upon my chest
As my lungs struggle to survive
There are no struggles here
I make my bed on blackened clouds
And give in to the call
The storm has claimed me as its own
It was such a struggle to stay upon the ground
When the storm would call me home
The stars they used to bring tears to my eyes
Dark skies, I cried as I prayed for daylight
You were my fragment of pain
I became swallowed in memorys of darkness
That used to come and go so haunting, the loss of you
Still is killing me, for you were gone so suddenly..
My first child
My first love
Now all I have left
Are the stars above
Not to mention
The glow of the moon
That always reminds me
That you were taken too soon
Tears fall down my cheeks
When your name is spoken, that's when
These demons become awoken
Losing your child
Is too much to bear
Dreams full of terror
Seeing the pain in your eyes
Everytime you look in the mirror
I can look at the stars now
With hope, instead of pain
You my child, did not die in vain
You will live through me, glow bright star
Glow.. Glow for me
And for all of
The mommys to see
Be my guidance, keep me from the ledge
To you child, this I pledge:
I see your glow and I can now smile
Though I might shed a tear every once and a while
Just because, I'm missing you
But I promise I will pull through
Thank you spirits
Thank you stars
For welcoming my child
With open arms
Keep him safe
Give him love
And let him know I am with him
Everytime I look above..
MY LAST GOODBYE
The heart that's within me, still beats, but little
by little it's growing weak. my soul is tired and
badly hurt. I once loved with all my heart.
When I came here - I wanted to stay, I wanted to
make a difference and maybe touch a few hearts.
Deep down, I hope I have.
The dreams I had one day - are now gone. They won't
ever return and for that - I will write no more. My fountain
pen has gone dry. No more words, through my pen will flow.
The poems that I wrote one day, I hope that in your heart
they will forever stay. The last piece of my soul - I will share
with you today.
All the words have been written. Everything has been said.
This will be my last goodbye. I will write no other message,
there is nothing left to say.
To the ones that read my poems and considered me your
friend, from the bottom of my heart I thank you for having
read my last poem. This will be my last goodbye...
Written by Lucilla M. carrillo
Note: Thank you all for your
kindness and support.
It’s been a long ride but now
It’s time to say goodbye
I’ll miss you friend but
It’s time to say goodbye
Forgive me now for the things I've done
It’s time to say goodbye
Forget the bad remember the good
It’s time to say goodbye
Don’t shed a tear don’t cry for me
It’s time to say good bye
Remember I'm here when you need me later
It’s time to say goodbye
We’ve been through a lot but we did its together
It’s time to say goodbye
I’ll miss you forever
It’s time to say goodbye
As I watch the rows of houses become smaller and smaller
I say goodbye to the place of my birth.
I say goodbye to the familiar.
To the coffee shops,
and the university where I was held captive for six years.
To the lake front,
and to the home of my mother.
To my faithful dog and cat.
Also, my hair straightener—
and even my marriage.
As I say goodbye to it all,
I watch through the window
perched on the edge of seat 8F.
whether I should be up in the aisles dancing,
or crying on the shoulder of the kind stranger beside me.
I am the shell of a POET, who's Soul now lives in Eternity
He left me with his past: his sorrows and agonizing Memories
I am ,but a dead man living in the shell of his conscience
Striving to be the light on a Starless Moonless, stroll to loneliness
Where the painful cries of silence, explode through-out my brain
Where the blinding shadows, web the skies, and life is "Forever Midnight
There is no Dawn, no Sunrise, no Sunsets, in the ebony sea of despair
To be Continued; It took me 2 weeks to write this. it will take me a week
to Write part 2. I will try to write 2-3 comments a week, unless Phillip
is here. I wait at the Gate of Heaven to meet YOU. ALWAYS and FOREVER
Sometimes you must take a second look.
What you might've seen may have been written in a book.
The memories, the truths.
The starlight, the booth.
We took pictures of that day.
That day we were okay.
But today is anew.
Everything we've been through.
Thrown away like a wrapper.
Blown up like a sapper.
Every thing you've said a lie.
The lies flown into my very own eye.
One day I will, we will all die.
Flourish the past.
Embrace the future.
The world keeps turning.
The sun keeps burning.
Whether you're there or not.
Look at what you've got.
Money is just a virtue.
That you should've knew.
What do you have when the world keeps turning?
What do you know when the sun keeps burning?
All gone. All gone.
Have you enjoyed your life?
Did you apologize to your wife?
Did you say I love you to your kids?
I mean god forbid.
My friend goodbye.
It's been a nice trip.
I'm sorry you had to slip...Away..
I cry, I hold it in, I cry.
I hate the way I saw you tonight,
Wrapped up in wires,
Sleeping beneath the shut off lights,
But this is no sleep your in,
Its just a moment before your passing.
I will forever hold the memory,
Of slick juice upon my face,
Sweet clementines dripping down my cheeks,
And long stripped socks at Christmas.
I will look back and dream,
Of slim jims and chocolate milk,
Sitting at the bar,
The lights dimmed,
And Barbie stamps covering my pale skin.
When I was less than five years old.
I will never forget,
Sitting on your black leather couch,
And watching Mulan for the first time,
Or the love and surprise I felt,
When you bought it for me,
Because I loved it so much.
I will always remember,
Walking the small trail down from your house,
To go look at your Harleys,
And feed the little ducks,
Crumbs of bread,
Or a whole damn loaf if I really begged.
I will never forget the time,
When you handed me one hundred bucks,
Just for Graduating, not even at the top of my class.
When I tried to return it,
You insisted that you wanted me to keep it,
And I cried, I hugged you hard and felt your love,
Deep in the nether regions of my heart.
I will strive to remember,
The smell of beer and whiskey and cigars on your breath,
What a sweet smell that now seems,
And oh how I wish, you would have stayed for that bottle of wine,
Just stayed a little longer for all of your visits.
I will never forget how I felt when Grandma told me,
You served in the marines,
And I could not believe,
That those Santa Clause eyes,
Could be that strong and brutal,
When you were always so nice,
And I found for you a new respect.
I miss you so much,
As you lay in your bed,
Strung up with wires, and tubes and struggling,
To find your last breath.
I am crying, I cant hold it in.
When you hug me one last time,
It feels unlawful to let you go,
It feels like my heart gets the death penalty.
When you kiss me one last time,
It feels like a sin,
It feels like God strikes my heart with lightening,
When you whisper in my ear "goodbye",
It feels like the worst screeching sound,
It’s like my ear drums just want to burst with pain.
But when you walk away,
It feels like I'm about to have heart surgery,
The Anaesthetic didn't work,
It felt like the doctor ripped open my chest cavity with his bare hands.
Goodbye is possibly one of thee worst pains.
Running, after more than you, can hold.
Taking, someone else’s love, and leaving.
Children are fearful of what they’re told.
Can’t you see I’m the one who’s freezing?
I was just a child with a trinket
Never knowing that it’d be, more to me
When you were gone to, too far, from me.
Steady with your hands close to my heart
Never letting our world’s tear us apart
I know, your icicles
I miss the beaches that we played on
You missed the child in your own eyes
Now you’re gone,
But I’m still not here.
Why can’t you wake up
I’m not ready
Please, just take your time, don’t leave now
I can’t fight this world alone.
I try to bend my mind around a straight line.
Pondering the lies imbedded in yesterdays truths.
False prophets, masquerading on wisdoms mountain.
"come taste our wares"
I become intoxicated on prides pie.
Tasting success's exstinction.
sacrificed on alters of progress.
Beads of glass breaking in upturned palms
whispers from the fallen,
not allowed to cry out.
The language of their ancestors,
Is there any trace?
Oil drips along insanities highway.
Multitudes traveling gleefully in the passing lane,
destination... nowhere fast.
munching on fastfood promises
Heading towards a toothpick bridge,
trusting facades of solidity.
Smiling plastic smiles.
Turning the radio dial,
tuned to stations extolling self pride.
"All things are possible if I believe in me!"
Living the dream,
suspended within stupidity.
Unable to bend twisted minds.
Failing to seek the straight and narrow path.
The end of us,
no muss, no fuss.
Time stands still.
The earth waits,
catches it's breath.
I will not say Good Bye Forever
My Poem for Carol Ann (Sunshinze) Brown
With tears in my eyes and prayers
For your well being, in my heart
I say adieu to you, my distant friend
With a heaviness in my heart.
Who knows, for what good we met here?
And for what, we shared our grief and thoughts here
Perhaps not only to inspire our friends here
But also to those, who would find a joy
While reading our thoughts and feelings in future years.
If you ever feel, you miss us
Just come back to us dear friend
With your usual shining words and smile
To fill us with the joy of your Poetry
Before we all one day finally depart from here.
Vindhyanagar, M.P India 10th June 2013
Now I am left alone with tears ~
with all shared may sadness cease
the darkness of loss as fears increase
your heart wants to hold on for hope
losing the one expected never ready
going through acceptance you think
until time stands still and life does cease
Now I am left alone with tears ~
every thought now to late to speak
all you thought you knew you didn't
when death comes swift no real preparation
How long will this hurt one can only wonder
The tears fall hard , the tears fall alone
saying goodbye forever your gone .
The sun has learned
to nevermore interfere
with the moon
and its stars
To give it a whole world
because the sun
doesn't need to stand in the way,
when it has free reign
of the entire universe.
Star crossed champions of mirth
Wild hair and wild eyes, both
To the world they say with arms raised to the sky,
"What a pity, for we dearly love to laugh!"
Arm in arm, singing their favorite show tunes
But in the voices of Donald Duck and Calamity Jane
Gallivanting through the city, doing the Charleston in the street
These two have no interest or talent for growing up
And made the world lighter because of it
Willy Wonka in his purple jacket,
Holding the door for her with his cane,
Him with those dreamy eyes
Pale eyes that swim in her perpetual smile
A smile, a voice and a soul that lit up everything for miles
She sits, glowing in the window,
Like a princess in the white room, wearing her little barrette
But she isn't well at all
And so she left this world, Roseannadanna did, one morning
And the twinkle in his eye twinkled off into space
With her dimples, impromptu cartwheels and spinning skirts
Four years wasn't enough to fill up the laughing box
The glass elevator is lonely looking down on the world
Wait, wait, wait, BAM!
Would she want him sinking there in his spats?
A wop, bam, boo! No, choose instead to keep that wicked grin
Dance down the aisle of the plane, show that funny funny face
Embrace each Saturday Night gone by
To Gene and Gilda, geniuses of love and light hearts
Pop the cork on the champagne and roller skate through this life!
~For Heather Ober's Famous Couples/Duos Poetry
Their Autumn Leaves.
And then embrace the ground.
The pathways I tread
And the horizon I see.
Amidst them, I halt
Amongst them, I sit,
Stare and admire
Them as they shower from trees.
I listen to them,
As they rustle,
In the soothing autumn breeze.
Wondrous it is to listen
To the tales they tell,
Tales spelled in their toungless accents
Tales that are the soul of each of those
Falling, twirling, rustling
The closeness we once had
was a light shining in the dark.
Storm clouds came
and shielded the sun.
The seeds atrophied
and the sprouts withered.
What was once a rainbow
became a black and white
single brush stroke
against a pale sky.
He tried to tame me-
I pretended to let him.
I am unbreakable.
I cried for him.
I wanted him to win this time.
He is still weak.
I am sorry for that.
I am tired.
I needed a rock.
An antique blue vase sits proudly upon my book shelf;
A gift from my aunt who knew how much I loved blue.
We would shop for hours in quaint little shops
and I would see her tired face smiling with delight.
A hand held mirror of wood and old glass, another gift for
each child, she imparted its value for me to keep safe.
I bought her a lovely cherry wood table with a harp shaped stand
and she loved it and used it for years. In her eighties when she moved in
with her daughter, she packed it up carefully and shipped it to me.
It will always remind me of how dear she was to me.
She used to say, I have always loved antiques, and now I am one!
She has passed on now and I miss her so much,
lovingly, some of her antiques she has passed on to me.
Who is hot?
Let us rate
Goals to aim
Who holds the knife
Connect the dots
Life just starts
But now you're gone
Life's so twisted
Should've held on
We don’t have a future
We had a past
We don’t have a presence
Because our love did not last
We don’t have a tomorrow
We had a memory
We thought our love was forever
Because we shared so much together
But we lost our memories
We don’t have a hope
We had a prayer
We had a slim chance of moving forward
Because our love died many years before
When we stopped loving
When we stopped coping
When we stopped hoping
3 o’clock in the morning…
The sounds of bed frames hitting drywall,
The sounds of Chopin and Coltrane played
With a hint of sadness in tone.
Sounds of whores and pimps arguing;
“Where is the money, you whore?!”
“I don’t have the money!”
A sound of a slap to the face
A big hand crushing bone,
Red streaks on white walls.
The sound of drunks walking gloomy streets,
Police and ambulance rush down burned out streets
Sirens wailing, crying out!
A child, six years old
Crying, “Momma! Momma!”
Shedding tears over his dying mother, lost her soul to the
Rest In Peace.
A sound of a .357 magnum revolver click
And a gunshot shakes the nerves of many,
And for a moment the sweet and peaceful silence.
“Dispatch, suicide on 46th street Hollywood Boulevard, Send the Corner. Over.”
Then the darkness sails over
And the entire cities are showered with tears from the heavens,
But no one weeps,
Not a single soul…
If I could go back
For just a day
Even just a few hours
I would set up the board
Put each checker in it's place
I would see
Grandpa across the table
Him with his furrowed brow.
I would be less concerned
Less focused on winning
I would relish his laugh
Listen carefully to his tales
indelibly on my mind's eye
I would see
The eccentricities of me
Passed on in perpetuity
The keenness of his former mind
Before the disease stole what was left behind
With each play the minutes would pass
I would take my time
Make them last
There would be questions to ask
Sadly the time is gone
The board has been put away
It's a game I no longer play
It was our special thing
He left long ago
On angels wings
Yet one day
Life has passed
He will be there and I will ask
"Set up the board
It's time to play.
We can take our time
We have all day."
In this town of night, it's lit by a light,
The sound of a loud, creaking gear and a wheel,
It echoed as I walked.
But do I have an address?
I cannot walk very well, my leg will not heal.
Why was I born into this world?
Why is my heart silver instead of gold?
I remember that person say "You are a special doll,"
Dancing and singing as he praised me over and over.
Even now, I sing always,
He will not open his eyes,
And sing about a sky of azure.
Why did I come to this Earth?
I'll only sing for eternity, waiting for rebirth.
Someday I'll sleep,
Then go to where that person is.
But my wish does not come true,
I sing, live,
And break in a red hue.
Time passes, and I even forget songs,
I hurry to that place he sleeps.
While I drag my cracked body,
Drying my eye as it weeps.
To the place where flowers connect the ocean,
Now, I'll rest my weary head.
With that person.
My wish will come true,
"It was fine, you lived once."
I heard that person's voice,
It was nearby.
"Give me a chance!"
In my dreams, I heard the voice many times,
It resounds in my aching heart.
A peaceful light,
But I smile.
I wish that I wasn't venomous
That my lips weren't laced with poison
So that I could kiss you without feeling guilty
I wish that my love had value
Not the fools gold that you treated like treasure
So that you could live not like a peasant, but a king
I wish that I wasn't made of sweet cotton candy lies
That I could feed your soul instead of sending it on highs then sudden sugar crashes
So that I could hold you without worrying you'll starve
I wish I was pure
Not tainted by my mother's mistakes and a stranger's fingers
So that I could be the lover you deserve
I wish that the voices in my head were silent
That they didn't whisper the same things over and over
So that I could belong to you and not the darkness that hides in my past
I wish that you hadn't left me
That you still held me when I cried
So that I wasn't so alone
3.04 February 6th 1958 was the time and date of the accident
The Munich disaster that took out half a football team
No one thought we would be back again
We couldn’t even imagine to dream
Was this to be the end?
We lost so much talent
How were we ever going to mend?
We needed a miracle to help with our challenge
So many fallen tears
Families and fans left broke
Would the pain ever clear?
Where was the hope?
Some thought our football club was over
Was this the end of the story?
Somehow we managed to rebuild and fight like soldiers
This eventually led us to future glory
Some rival fans make jokes and like to mock
They are a disgrace to football as a sport
How are you going to joke when lives were lost?
But most will keep them in their thoughts
It happened almost 35 years before I was born
But all of you are remembered
Everything Manchester United do ensures your memories lives on
We stay United in Manchester
Cascading water falls flow, in the infinite
Stream of life's circle of harmony.
Cast thus forget-me-knots asunder, upon
The rushing currents of time, for we shall
Meet again dear friend, and drink deeply,
From the wells of remembrance.
Keepsake's dearest treasure are these reflections,
In the stilled ponds beneath, I see thee their,
And remember lines of courage, written with a
Gentle hearts wisdom.
It is harsh some may say, that the divine spirit,
Took thee away, so quick and without warning.
But a higher powers choose is not to be questioned,
All seasons have there time, and reason for being.
We'll miss thy kindness, and your sweetness,
Tender lady of clarity's perfection.
But I believe in guardian angels, whom watch
Over those dearest spirits left behind ,
From heavens gates thee can see us below,
And gently stirs us away from harsh troubles
I'll light a candle in my window tonight, in
Honor tribute for Linda's contribution, has touched
BY: CHERYL ANNA DUNN
I loved when you were there by my side, and I could feel you next to me,
But it seems that time has gone.
“Until death do us part” seems to work in this situation,
You were dead before dawn.
Preparing for the morrow is one of the most painful things when I don’t see
You were always waiting for me with a hug, kiss, and a smile,
But it seems those days have gone already, I don’t see your face there
I’ll be walking on the face of the Earth alone for my while.
I still remember the first time I saw your face when I was brought in this
You held me close and loved me and spoiled me.
When I was sad or afraid, you always embraced me with your warmth, taking
the fear away,
I’m just too lonely to stay here, don’t you see?
You loved me with all your heart, and I never wanted to see you leave so soon,
I loved you more than any petty word could describe.
Should I keep the memories, or move on and make a new life?
It’s just too hard and painful to decide.
I don’t want to forget you, but every time I remember the old days,
I burst into tears and cry my time away.
I wanted you to stay here with me until I knew it was enough,
I wanted you to be here for me, for a little longer, just come back and stay.
As long as you’re gone,
I’m walking on my own.
LOVE AND THE PRUDENT MIND
How can passion nab a prudent mind
Heartless and unrelenting sorrow
Haunts across seas
Crazes uncharted through widow making mountains
Shadows its prey
day by day from scent of soap to toothpaste caps
Sleepless nights in strangers beds—The vows once took cannot be shed
How can love annex a prudent mind
Diligently plodding through piles of work
Jump between the lines and ink
like a rapist scare
to catch the victim unaware
Heartless and relentless sorrow
Years refine the passion fire
Body aches for vanished scorching touches
Heartless and relentless sorrow
Like a bird she fled the skies
But longs in secret for the midnight flight return
All of the Magic
erased from the world
darkness without end
no children laughing
a mass of drone like beings
wishing for nothing
not even sad dreams remain
black magic also died today
The poets have all thrown away their pens
no more reason to write
movies have been destroyed
there will be no christmas this or any other year
this is truly the darkest day the world has ever known
I would continue to write
but the lack of desire has turned my heart to stone
I will live out the rest of my days in darkness
not even the stars can free me from this desperation
I am being sucked down into the abbys
no thought of being rescued not even the desire exists
I am alive and still I remain dead
a spirit without dreams
magic has departed
will it ever return?
Perhaps a distant spark remains
No I am wrong
did it ever exist?
Life with no Magic Contest
Why We Will Never Say Hello or Good-bye
By Ingrid Showalter Swift
Rake your fine fingers across my tender lips...
waiting with the hunger that years have made.
...Do you still hear me?
I am off in a land of daisies and flowers, of many colors.
I walk down sandy paths of pale soft skin... that I imagine
The water-butter beneath my finger tips
is your skin as well
and I look out across a far away horizon and know
you live there
breathing on, in unison with arms open to the sky
You beam as the sun... I weep as the waves.
I ache and bend and cry out in labor pain
There is no separation... but the heart still seems to seep
I can see your eyes
and in my eyes still dark and far away
...you drift quietly on a raft bobbing in a safe cove
The night still shifts to the wetted calm of us from time to time
and I know the trees and dogs can feel us moving
beneath the surface, like mermaids
Our tails are webbed jewels of gold and myrrh
Our fingers are intermingled... our cells combined...
Our torsos are sleek and clean
We separate... dip and dive like porpoises...
They know... I know they know... and hear our ever calls
and dive for us
in the still of twilight’s dancing diamonds
Why not? I cry... but know all too well the answers
Because there are flowers on our paths
and children playing in the skin of the sand
and we are one in our purpose
and one in the words and one as they fly over head - wing to wing...
As autumn climbs the hill to winter...
we will be in the flickering light of fire side
and the warmth of the soups that brew
and are handed one to the other
and we will ever be in the sawdust
and in the creation of anything new
and in time as it flows back and forth with the tide
Nothing can ever sever us from the ants
and the shells
and the mail that arrives in the mail box
Do you know that we are only a car ride away from forever?
Do you know that we are nothing more than one phone call apart?
...just seven numbers apart!
and it will remain the distance of forever because we know
how fine the sand feels between our toes
how smooth the wind blows over our wet torsos and white sails
and how water splashes into tiny beads of light at the bow
and how the tree grows
and how the stone feels from the inside
We will remain alone and surrounded by love
...because grass is green
God! How I love you!
Tell me again that you know... tell me... call me... tell me
...that it is real... that you can hear me
that I am the same as the child beneath your palm
loved ever, unconditionally
and you are proud of who I am and who I am becoming
I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
When is Mum, coming for me?
"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"
I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now
I wish God
Could make my Mum
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!
I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own
A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!
Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm
“What am I going to do?”
“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?
“Is my life worth living?”
Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!
got up today feeling a bit lost but happy
got up with a rush of feelings took me away
looked around , no one was there
don't worry it is always this way , so , i took my jacket anD closed the door
had no idea where to go but the wind was trying to tell me something
something i couldn't hear clearly but it gave me a huge energy
love , passion , visions , and a loT more
kept walking and walking sometimes running through this world
wanted to scream and let the people know who i am
where were all of this ? where was i ?
i spent my years trying to impress the wrong person , trying to fit when i was born to stand tall
made the wrong decisions , shut my mouth and never had the words
but oh if you could see me now ! would you recognize me ?
this life is so much fun full of greatness and hope
i wish you could see that , i wish you could take off the dust
bring colors to your world and shine up like a bright star
that took me so long but believe me it is worth
worth the pain worth the fight and worth the stuggeles
goodbye old me , goodbye mask
time for me to fly , i would be glad if you joined
come up here , push you can make it
when you do i will tell you a secret
i shal tell you .. this is what the wind was telling me
yeah i can hear it now ....
This is about my best girlfriend.
How she attracted men.
When we were in school, boys really doted on Sue.
She is about 5 ‘2.’
Black and beautiful
This poem is concerning one.
His name was Samuel.
While we were in the gym, he wanted Sue to be attentive.
She ignored him well with another male.
He came up the bleachers with a chair.
Said, “That’s my woman Israel.”
Israel gave him the eye.
He stopped and smiled.
Sue sat through it all.
Today she is alone.
Please laugh out-loud.
Because what tickles the funny bone is when you imagine the jokes that went on.
Israel asked, “Samuel why she with me?”
Samuel responded and stated, “She is a cheat.”
Israel came around, took the chair from Samuel, and both begin to court Susan.
The morale of it all is this does not tickle the funny bone.
This creative write was a motivation drawn from Francine Roberts contest
"Tickle My Funny Bone." I wanted to thank her for this motivating writing tool with the flip side of her request. This will not be entered.
Jump up and down like a jackrabbit
running through meadows
running from what?
Could it be heartbreak,
a venemous snake that hides in the grass,
hiding with fangs ready to pierce the tender skin
upon the tight, bronze flesh of everyday life?
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now!
I need a vacation a long way away from the faceless smiles
and ignorance of young girls, who don't look at you,
who don't show you love and respect.
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now,
as jumping spiders hop everywhere, crawling eight legs around me
my soul black like carcoal, but my heart still beating
slower this time, not like the days before
and like the jackrabbit running from anything and everything,
I run to seek love and vanish away from the empty voids
that people call, their souls.
Recording a film with no tape,
talking to a woman you love, but not having the guts to tell her how you really feel
Jump my boy, like a jackrabbit, take my advice
tell her before she leaves
turns down the endless avenues of endless dark love
the trees grow taller, taller than you
and you sit there feeling away yourself die, missing out in life.
I cannot see you lose your love.
Say it, say it, Say it!!! Tell her! Tell her! Build the guts up!
Build up the courage, tell her how you feel. Take her by the hand and never say goodbye! Never say goodnight, stay with her till the flight comes in the morning
of the first rays of sun shine through your dorm room take her and love her!
Do not be like me, the jackrabbit! I see no happiness
Reading poetry it makes me sad,
to write of others falling in love and I never finding the one.
People tell me, you'll find yours, have hope
but I am a frightened little jackrabbit
who flees from sounds of deep emotions, not having courage to fall in love,
not building the guts up to tell her how I really feel.
She walks alone, I find my oppertunity and sing my love song
She smiles and moves on,
please tell me I cannot fight anymore.
All I have to say is Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye
I need a vacation
to go to some sandy beach on an island of love
and write and write and write, the same poetry that depresses me
but makes you all fall in love with words!
Fiction about love stories, please kiss me
Blue eyed death comes, plays a game of chess with me
I bet twenty, he bets my soul
Kiss me death, the only love I'll ever get,
besides my poet friends who kiss my ass
Listen to my heart, truely, I don't write of beauty
I write for the sorrow soul, the fleeing jackrabbit
running away from love.....
I lay beside someone
I seem to know.
A stranger I've known all my life,
I look at who is beside me,
I see a face with a smile.
A smile hoping to find
remembrance in mine.
I don't find what the smile
asks from me,
for it's getting late and
there's no time.
Though hesitant, lets me go.
Smile intact, tears lay unseen
For the choice is mine to make,
And not for tears to stop.
I get to my feet and
I turn around one last time
to the face and the smile it bore.
but found neither, for both had left.
It was my choice to leave ,
and now there's no time.
The bright future I looked forward to,
Where has it gone?
Now I have nothing but,
The darkened future to look through.
Put into a heavy wooden box
Right in front of my eyes.
My love, where are you?
I still have yet to marry you,
But our love dies.
The box, now becoming smoke,
It seems my will no longer remains.
Seeing as though I was so forgotten
I’m evanescence, no longer remembered,
It wasn’t my hands that were stained.
Dear me there,
No more pain?
Dear me there,
No more smiles?
No, nothing can remain.
It hurt being sucked in the ground.
I cried alone,
I’m innocent, I swear,
But the people gathered all around.
Did you find
My shoes there?
Did you find
My letter there?
Do you remember, dear?
At the last moments,
A lid to cover the box,
Then the concrete,
And dark skies.
I’ll be back soon.
Gray clouds gathering, distant eyes shrouded;
inner vellum lids cannot disguise
the fugitive from love you are.
Your cherished, throbbing body near,
Far, far away your misplaced mind;
Hesitant words reach out to you,
entangling in a torturous maze
where two hearts stumble in the mists.
August 20, 2014
Faye Lanham Gibson
Through the Mist Contest
Nette Onclaud, sponsor
Until we meet again;
May the clear skies herald your days,
and the silvery moon protect your nights.
May your smile be wide, may your pocket be deep,
may the happiness of a lifetime follow your keep.
She watched as her
heart set sail,
Not knowing what the
future held for him,
Her mind wishing
fair winds and a
Her emotions ebbing
from stability ,
But she knew it was
only right ,
For her heart really
belonged to the sea,
And the sailor
smiled cause he knew
that with her
blessing he was
So silently she
watched as her heart
set sail ,
And shed a few tears
as her sun slowly
Turn to friends never
You look back and ask why
Then you realize, you never was
Loyal friends come rarely
Trust is never really there.
True best friends never leave
You don't ignore each other
You mad you move on
You talk the next day
Im not sure you move past tht point
You family now
Ok I give you those but do they stay that way.
Some always happens
You should know me well
Never make a false pretense
Move on to tht final stage
Trust each other
Once that trust is gone so that best friend
Been betrayed so many times I just don't give a damn
Im cold hearted I know that.
But guess what if your really my best friend then you would know that
I don't know that term like that.
I'm afraid to actually start caring cause when you do *****changes
Now we grew apart
Our time is up
We moved on
Met new people
New relationships causes drifting
Best friend is no more.
Your colorful skin
Has been stripped from its bones
Thrown, shriveled, into a heap
Onto a hospital bed
Plugged into the wall
Toxins flushed throughout your body
Eating the smile off your face
Watching you go to war
For one more breath
One last glimpse
Looking into your pale eyes
I see a stranger’s helpless body
Forcing short breaths
Take mine away
A twisted flicker of peace
Dances across your face
With one last calm breath
An unfinished symphony?Consumed with grief ?Sorrow has arrived?With smiles thief
YOU + ME = SYNTAX ERROR ???!!
Dec 15 2013 12:07 am
And once more I'll try to say goodbye
To the feelings that long ago should have already died
To the love I have hidden for quite a long time
To the cherished memories I have kept for so long in my mind
To the words i so long to hear from you
To the quiet hours when I felt terribly blue
To the days I waited for you to be mine
To the love which remained unrequited and blind
01:37AM Dec 12 2013
I faked a smile and pretended to be happy
Yet in his eyes I can feel his deep sympathy for me
I hated it but I kept the show going
I kept smiling though inside I am breaking
How could someone notice my fake happiness
When I've managed to keep it to conceal my sadness
Please don't make me realize what I'm truly feeling
My fake smile has already fooled me into thinking...
That I can manage to appear happy despite the pain...
Of WAITING FOR YOUR LOVE IN VAIN.
Dec 19 2013 2AM
I wonder if it's possible for you to love me too
I've kept my feelings subtle for you not to have a clue
Then you decided to go far away
Though I so much wanted for you to stay
I never asked for you to stay of course
I am nobody in your life...makes me feel worse
But then my mind would sometimes wonder,"have there been a second that you've fallen for me too?"
If yes,when was it?I wish you could answer that too.
It's stupid I know to suddenly fantasize about these things
As if it would make any difference
You left without even saying goodbye
I wanted so much to ask you "why?"
Then I realized that I do not have the right the ask you this
Because the truth is,in your world,I DON'T EVEN EXIST. =(
Ain't it strange...
That I attach to you...like a troublesome sore
Do you find it odd...
That I truly love you to the core
But it's true...I can get a little insane at times...when I'm in a certain phase
Sorry to say, but get used to my crazy, psychotic nature...or leave me to rot...
But it ain't no surprise that we all aren't normal and we all are peculiar in our own bizarre ways
Sorry to burst your bubble, but haha, yeah...I've been causing mischief and what not
You untied me from my utter demise...
And you drowned away my thoughts that spread lies
In my head...making it spin madly
Like a Mary-go-round...
But it's true...I can get a little insane at times...when I'm in a certain phase
Sorry to say, but get used to my crazy, psychotic nature...or leave me to spoil and rot....
Don't be afraid, baby
It's only in your mind...
Anxiety is brewing in your blood
And I can't seem to hold on to the rope of hope
But it ain't no surprise that we all aren't normal and we all are peculiar in our own bizarre ways
Sorry to burst your bubble, but haha, yeah...I've been causing trouble and what not
Time is ticking like a bomb about to blow up into smoke and flame
It alarms to say this, but how DARE you waste my valuable time
Time is ringing like a church bell chime...it's your time to say goodbye and it's my time to forget your name
It's alarming to hear broken records of memory replay in my head...it's almost crime
Thinking of you is wonderful and sublime
But it's true...I can get a little insane at times...when I'm in a certain phase
Sorry to say, but get used to my crazy, psychotic nature...or untie me from this tight knot
You made the decision to untie me from my utter demise...
And you drowned away my thoughts that spread lies
In my head...making it spin madly
Like a Mary-go-round...
Rain pour down so little.
Watching the fireplace burning logs.
I sip a cup of coffee in my hand.
Thinking the last day I saw your eyes.
Mesmerizing by moment that soon will pass.
I picked the picture you left in my pad.
'twas only yesterday we're so in love.
Now left the memories inside my heart.
Dancing alone with your shadow,
I know you're here yet so far.
Embracing you tight in my arms.
I opened my eyes and sees the light.
The rain stop falling that night.
The flame of love warmth me high.
…Said the Mind to the Heart, we do not work together to run this place all we do is argue and fight. This place use to run so simple and sweet then you came out your cage to take a peak.
“I know this is true”, you’d plea to the rest of us Body and Soul, like fools we did listen as you said we’d be whole. Against all reason yes you won that debate that we ventured on out and yes it was great!!!
We have not ever since the birth of our seed been as happy as this to see you beat so hard and so strong. As you reached out and grew stronger forged within what seemed an everlasting flame. We took that happiness and strength that it gave and made that Leap of Faith as they say.
Now what happened then, oh strong Heart of mine, you were so filled with joy that it made us blind. You caused us to believe that Love conquers all that we didn’t see the rocks coming out of the falls.
We hit and kept falling all bloody and beat but you continued to believe we would land on our feet. We listened once more, although I petitioned to stop yet your Love was so strong that it crushed all other thought.
We hit and we sank in the darkness of the abyss and it opened our eyes while it weakened your grip. Shattered and weak from the blood that you lost I picked up your pieces and put them back in your box.
I mended your wounds and bandaged you up but a piece still was missing you wouldn’t give up. The cliff that we hit so hard still has a piece of your beaten up heart. You left it there as a beacon of light to find your way back when you’re ready for flight.
My dear fragile Heart I cannot allow it as you wouldn’t survive another fall down it. So we have decided us Body and all to lock you away in the depths of our Soul. Poor mislead, barely breathing, yet you insist that it is not over.
You’re blinded by Love even in your poor state but I pray you keep it that way so it won’t turn to Hate. This is why you are banished and locked back away until we do pass or if Love brings your piece that you left back.
For that piece is the key to unlocking these binds but be sure we will fight it with logic not emotion. So sleep dear Heart of mine as best as you can for you won’t bother anyone ever again…….
And neither they you.
All turned down to the worst
as the children lost innocence,
as the bums drank their last breath away,
as the man eating sharks finding their way,
to the over-crowded sandy beaches,
as the man turn to the woman
and gave her a slap across the face,
as the thef steals in the night,
as the coward goes behind his loved ones' backs,
as the oil lanterns spill over and burn the bridges
to salvation and paradise.
Something always happens to the good guy,
a knife in the back in the midst of dawn,
his woman leaving with another man,
he dying slowly of cancer,
or suffering from intoxication of the blood.
Poison. Poison, ravages his body,
oh, how could God let such things happen
to such a good man?
His life work, his social life, his nirvana
all destroied, burned away, turned to dust.
But with the evil, came the good.
Yes with time and time again
repeating itself in a circle of time,
across the crossed faces,
as blue eyed Death smiles
and as the girls grin,
Everything came into place,
Anyway with evil, came the good.
Indeed it had came right to his front doorstep.
after all those sleepless nights
i figured it out.
I'm not sick without you
I don't even miss you.
a piece of our sex is stuck in my sinuses;
like a virus is.
i can't remember how it felt to be inside you,
but i can taste it when i spit.
Your sweat a carnal vinaigrette,
lips like mandarin oranges swimming in rose-water.
Soufflé sighs and martini moans.
pallet full, stomach empty.
Your face is a white blur, no black, maybe grey
all these are too colorful.
You're a shapeless cloud of vapor
Refracting headlights on winding lonesome roads in my mind.
Au' du recklessness,
an earthy mix of lavender and salamander slime.
lakewater and sublime sing-alongs.
santeria love potion number 9.
dad you were my hero!
the one i wanted to be just like.
everything i did was to make you proud...
you walked out on us...
i know i wasnt a perfect child...
i just wanted to feel love from you
mom always told me that you would be there for me
you were until i disappointed you...
i thought parents were supposed love their children no matter what...
you didnt do that
you always put me down
told me i was such a shame to the family
now that i have grown up
i relieze life is better with out you in it...
and i no longer wanna be just like you
i could never walk out on my kid
you sicken me...
how could you give up the child that you gave your name to...
i understand you have other kids
but to just give up and not have anything to do with one of them
and to not let that kid know his siblings....
i could never do that
no matter how much my kid disappointed me...
i found my hero...
he stepped up even tho he didnt have to...
he treated me like his own...
he was there when i needed a daddy and you werent there...
he was there at my worst....
and he is there at my best...
he will be my best man when i get married...
my kids will know him as grandpa...
they will never know you
cause i cant risk you hurting my kids
the way you hurt me...
the thing that gets me the most is....
how you made it look so easy
did you even think about the lil boy
who carries your name and...
has your blood running in his veins
i dont think you did...
and if you did you are
a heartless piece of crap
even after all you have done to me...
physical, emotional, and mental abuse...
i forgive you...
not for you but for me so i can move on with me life
My heart is like a waterfall, cascading with an abundance of love; it flows from my heart like the water down a stream
I cherish this life you have shared here with me; but soon my sweet girl, I’ll be on my way
You know my belief, in what we were always meant to be; now we just have to travel some distance to be united, but you will soon see
My love for you is constant and never ending; but sadly this human body, it is not mending
I feel blessed that we have each other and this beautiful love; my spirit will be right beside you shining from above
I will surround you, with my loving light; I will make your dreams, sunny and bright
I will fill your life with happiness and not say a peep; I will be right there beside you even when you sleep
When it’s time for you to join me again, I will come to you with a loving smile and then
When you take your last breath you will feel me; I’ll be waiting there and then you will see
With outstretched loving arms you will see me glow; I will look into your eyes and you’ll see, I never did go
Hold my hand and together we will take this ride; we will let our hearts flow just like the ebbing tide
We will travel into the stratosphere; together we may well collide
Sun beams will bounce off the earth; the stars will be sparkling, with re-birth
Across the universe our dreams will explode; and there you will find our new abode
Until then my child, know that I’m just a breath away, I will meet you on the other side and together again we will play
Like a waterfall cascading down a stream; life is just a beautiful dream.
If only I could tell the sun to stand still to stall the date of your going, I will;
If only I could tell the wind to stop moving that not a thing shall be able to fly, I will;
If only I could turn every deserted place a green pasture so you would be exploring no more, I will;
If only I could make every insult to sound like a joke so that one won't be hurt but laugh, I will;
If only I could turn my every thought into an immortal song that without trending you'd be inspired to sing, I will;
If only I could literally show how much love I have for you by physically opening my heart, I will;
I could only wish: IF ONLY – because it will never will.
Yet, the most I can do is wish:
That I can hold back my tears at the date of your going;
That the wind shall be its fairest for you to have a safe flight;
That the place you are heading is the greenest of the pastures anyone would hope to settle;
That you will be spared of any kind of mockery and insult from a discriminating crowd;
That you'll be free from stress, fatigue, and discomfort;
That mine thoughts that you ignored maybe a line of your favourite song;
That the heart of the one you will find to love shall have a love, so true, like this love I have for you;
Finally, if I shall be lucky to reach my old age, I hope to have the same consciousness even in my deathbed, that before giving up my ghost, I still can make a wish – a wish that you never had to go so that I would had spent a lifetime with you . .... ...
Date & time of writing:
January 7, 2012
11:03am – 11:57am
the sentiment of a lover when true love has to be compromised in paving way to a beloved's call of fortune
There is a brilliant sun setting on the horizon.
I wipe tears from my eyes, and watch in a strange sense of awe.
The sun kisses everything with it’s radiating beams
and then disappears from view.
It reminds me that,
like many things in life,
these serenely beautiful moments are often fleeting.
Words are left unsaid, moments forgotten, lives lost.
But, in those quiet moments,
when I feel the sun's warmth on my face,
I know you're sending me a smile and lighting up my life, once again.
you whispered sweet doubts into my ears
but i was so blind to acknowledge the fears
ill never regret how i felt for you
but you seem so far gone, i don't know what to do
i only did what i thought was right
but i guess i lost all fear and extinguished the light
Bay, i wish i never left
but its to late to take it back
Bay, i wish i had some sort of sign
to know your OK
i have this horrible habit of making a mess of things
you might think it funny
but i jump when the phone rings
i hope you dont blame me for what happened
but then again it must have been my fault
i guess all those times i apologized were in advance
for the heartbreak that i probably brought down upon you
bay, im sorry, im sorry, im sorry if you ever read this
you'll finally understand the way i still feel about you
nobody ever said it was easy
but nobody ever said i would fall this hard
i miss you
please bay, im sorry
Drunk, by the sea I stood
I whispered into the air
“This is it… I’m dying…
With a bottle on my hand.”
Drunk, by the sea I sat
I stared into the sea
Thinking, deeply, of memories
Of anything that’s barely there
Of everything I left
Of nothing, and nothing at all.
Drunk, by the see I scampered
In search for words that seemed lost
I lost ground.
And at my last breath, drunk
I muttered words
I bade goodbye
At the shore.
Let Me Go!
I don't want this anymore!
I can't go to sleep at night,
all I seem to do is write.
Sometimes I read...
I read until I finish.
When I finally go to sleep,
I hear the sound of the alarm "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"
I can't handle this anymore.
I am going crazy here
and no one seems to notice it, my dear.
I cry myself to sleep.
telling myself everything will get better.
BUT IT DOESN'T!
And I know I mustn't
but I want that knife
just as much as I want that gun
I hate this world
and everything about this girl
She sings and tries to get attention
yet no one gives her the time of day.
She falls into the books she reads
no one knowing, it is escaping, she pleads.
This girl is me,
oh but you knew, right?
Since all I ever talk about is me!
Gosh, can't you see?
I'm my enemy!
I'm my own nightmare!
No one is hurting me!
It is me who shouldn't be let free!
Lock me up!
That way I won't harm myself...
I'd like it if it was someone else
Please, do me the favor
and let me go
for no one can save this girl
from this cruel world.
"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one.
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed.
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent.
A meager thought
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows,
The pollution is psychedelic
Hell, you could even say poetic nature
Terms of enragement
Definitely not engagement
Can suffice in describing the depredation
Fire from the skies
Burning through the system
Dropping through to nothing
Learning not what’s in them
Always running from them
We may hide our voices
But you hide your souls
Torturing us with woes
Never able to feed our hole
Scars bleed out like coals
Paint it any color you like
Doesn’t change a thing
This war that you’ve brought forth
Has killed us all
In the past and future
There is no now…
Waking up from a nightmare suddenly to my surprise
scanning the room for conscous anwsers back to my nightmare
I thought to myself after a couple minutes pass by I'm out again
this is what's playing in my head there's a family of four
a husband ,wife ,son and daugther the american dream turned
into a nightmare, one day the husband and wife couldn't keep their
sprak alive so they started cheating and lying to eachother
that was just the start after a few months past by all the
lies and cheating have finally taken it's toll the husband left work
early to say goodbye to his kids one at a time telling them
his going away for a little while I love you's were said the husband
went home and unstead of packing he grabbed his father's old rifle
he called his wife said goodbye then blew his brains all over the
house those four called a home I wish I could wake up from this
nightmare but it's a very tragic reality
Richard Tarr 11/27/12
Joy blooms in Springtime
Joy embraces my sad heart
Joy sweeps away gloom
Happiness clothes me
In the brightest suit...handsome
Single smile lifts up my spirits
Joy sways in the wind
Joy dances with me kindly
Joy surprises me
Away without a single
Joy plays piano
Joy loves to hang out with me
Joy loves to uplift the blues
Joy loves bringing in good news
Joy sings with me everyday
Joy sings a striking tune...
Joy brings joy and love to you...
Joy sings a heartfelt poem
I dream of her every day and night
She's my lamplight
She keeps me up all night
And she's quite a sight
She's so full of sweet, sweet delight
I love you, dear JOY!
It only takes a tiny drop to touch and stir a placid pond
Little recollections that wake and shake the blues in your silent heart
As gentle winds carry away The Sands of Time before your tearful eyes
Passing by like a breeze are The Moments impossible to bring back
It only takes a little rain to garb and gloss an ugly uneven path
Fine drizzles dab and pat the track that bare your soul and its crack
You can’t hold forever The Indelible Times that slipped out of your hands
Grey shades and shadows you can’t bridle but are ever fixed to you and I
It only takes a metal or a wooden frame to eternalize a mortal soul
Every photograph is an eternal time machine, a sonnet to tether time
Your life is another diary out in the world, Shared Memories put down
Nostalgia wanders the universe like grains of sands from shore to shore
It only takes the break of day to fold darkness and shut out the stars
Sudden burst of sunrays begins to flirt and fondle your skin as you lie
When Good Memories return sometimes you want to summon the night
You know heaven or hell won’t open up for your yearning state of mind
You walked away with a smile on your face
Never suspected it would be your last say
The words goodbye never dripped from your lips
The words goodbye never crossed my mind
We were in this forever,
That abruptly became today
Forever and a day is what they say
your forever changed
like the seasons
All in one day
I let you be my forever,
Even in my dreams,
The beginning had little hints of an ending
Here I stand, with my heart on my sleeve
Do you recognize the pieces?
Some of it ripped away
an aimless journey
it still remembers
Contest: Free Your Mind
What do I say now? Where do I start?
Without you beside me, I'm falling apart
Thinking of you, know it isn't too smart
But I See You Everywhere, oh my poor heart
Love in her ways
She drifts slowly past me
A spring in her step
Oh she's moving too fastly
Upside down now
She turns my heart and soul
Reflecting in my mind
And in my heart, a hole
Every time she crosses my mind
I'm reminded of the pain
No chance to love her
She'll forget my name
So what do I say now? And where do I start?
Because without you beside me girl, I'm falling apart
Thinking of you, I know it isn't too smart
But I Still See You Everywhere, and oh my poor heart
Hate me if you must
I never planned to hurt you
You imagined promises
Those words I never spoke
Our kiss was oh so brief
Electricity filled the air
I longed for your embrace
We played our passionate game
Young lovers intertwined
I whispered in your ear
All those things that lovers say
Read backwards and forwards another reverse poem.
Thank you for being in my life,
to think you were only broken twice,
you taught me how not to be late,
and how to get my timing straight,
my mother made you and loved you too,
she stayed up at night to make sure you show true,
I'm not going to say I'm happy you're gone
but i do rue the day you were spawn
now that I'm 18, you've done your job,
I'm happy you will no longer make my heart throb,
with every minute that i am late,
made my life full of hate,
so thank you curfew, and thanks a lot,
now my own schedule will take your spot.
Young and innocent they went to school
Expecting to learn and play
Never in anyones wildest of dreams
Did we expect that day
For a rain of tears to shell them
From one lost deep to sin
But heavenly hosts came down for them
Releasing them from him
The devil he did have his day
But God in end dost win
For noubt will be lost but these young lives
Will not be gone in vain
The laws of the land will change in ways
For it must not happen again
Those who reign must stand on this
Take stance and make a difference
No one should be able to take a life
With intent nor mindless innocence
For even when with madmans mind
You cannot be left to mingle
How can you be able to walk in shop
Purchase guns and not be liable
Actions speak far louder than words
And if we let just one slip through
Without accounting for their sin
It might well be me or you
For on anyone these bullets
Might be named to fall upon
So make a difference – make a change
Add your name – petition
The whole wide world mourns in shame
An Amnesty is long past needed
Write your letters – use your vote
Act now while it is fresh
And pray for the souls of all those lost
That each by the Lord be blessed
Also for those who’ve lived through this
That they might find a way
To find the strength and courage
To step out further each day
I am nothing but a rose
A red one, a yellow one or even a black one
Whichever color you do prefer
It makes me that which I have always been
Nothing but a rose
A rose, once in full bloom
Once full of love, filling everyone with laughs
A rose, now so withered
Withered at the way my gardener treated me
Having been attracted to a lilly
He left, for the great ocean
And made of me
A wilted rose
Still, I am nothing but a rose
I am what you see
Whichever colour you prefer
All frail and fragile
Waiting for the end of the day
When the night will fall on me
And closed will be my petals
Hopefully, in my new garden
I shall meet my old gardener
Hopefully, to my fragrance he shall be enamored
Hopefully, he shall tend me
To grow into a strong and blooming tree
A rose, nothing but a rose
Say, if you do blow across my way
Remember of my fragility!
A nurtured love
Somewhere in my past
Our hearts intertwined
A vow was once announced
We'll never part and hearts will be around
As we became more than lovers
You've kissed away the tears
As you hold me in your arms
You kept me safe from harm
And love never stop then
Yet, I've heard you one day
You really have to leave;
And told me If I love you, I have to be assesed
Not to see you for a day
To know if I can handle
My love is eternal
I followed your request
Never said where you were going
Still I have endured to show you that I care
I was filled with fear a day after the test
You never did come back; the laughter' gone
How can I go on and live without your love
Too late for me to know that you're sick and died so humble
You never let me know
Didn't want to see me mourn
But I'm crying like a river
Am I supposed to live a life once more?
I have read your letter on a pink paper
"No love I have found that turned sadness into gay
You have walked into my life that is more than a prize
Apologies to end a happy-together
You were left with only stolen moments
Each day with you my love keeps getting stronger
But the end is near
I have to set you free".
Teach me the art
The art of letting go
To know the good in holding on
When I already knew
We can't get along no more
Breathless breezes have come and went
Once full sails have now gone limp
The amorous water has turned stone cold
I'm lost at sea and growing old
Acid rain has blocked the sun
Polluting the air, corroding the sea
My rudder is broken, I'm crying for aid
My voice doesn't echo, I am afraid
I shoot up my flare gun, but it is a dud
I light a big fire, oh what have I done
My vessel is burning and I can not swim
My prayers go unanswered, goodbye my dear Tim
I'm sinking so fast, not much time is left
My life has been taken, a case of grand theft
~An Emptiness Inside~
Right now I'm sitting here
Staring into space
Feeling so all alone
As tears begin to fill my eyes
And I begin to cry
My heart suddenly feels an emptiness inside
That here lately I just cannot hide
If only you were here to hold me,
I'd feel so protected...
With you by my side
My world feels so sad and blue
Feeling as though I'm forever going to lose you
Our love I thought was forever true?
You told me just the other night
That I was only a simple friend
I then began to believe that our relationship
Was only just pretend
I've pleaded with you to help make
This relationship of ours last
Baby, I beg of you...
Let's not dwell on the past
I'm so sorry if I have hurt you
But never forget my love for you
Was always true
Baby, I pray that I can
Mend your broken heart
But for now I will continue to look forward
Day by day
That we never, ever drift apart
I wish I had died instead of her
I wish I was the one who got sick an suffered
I wish that I could turn back the hands of time
I will no longer wish for you to be mine
I wish she is alive right now
To love you back and make new vows
I wish my wish could make any difference
While I wipe my eyes from tears seeing that you're grieving
I wish that I could comfort you
Coz you've already cried so much for a love that is true
I wish I could take her place while she was dying
So you could both live a happy life.....
and fulfill the dreams YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN WISHING.
There’s just one heart where there once was two
It’s a story of love we write on a shore
A promise of love we softly whisper
I hear you breathing softly by my side
The way I feel and what you mean to me
You are my lover, my friend.
And when I stand beside you
I can feel the pride of my heart
And its you that I’m going to stay
And now you say you want to leave
I can’t believe what I have just heard
You walk by and I fall to pieces
The clouds are all disappeared
My heart now cries a river of tears
Goodbye for the love once we shared
We leave a flame once burned.
Bitter sweet memories we left behind.
December 4, 2012
Frankie stood outside in the heat
Waiting for the sky to fall at her feet
She wanted to go past where the earth and sky meet
Falling for the sky her heart skipped a beat
Get into a rocket to get some space
So many miles into that outer place
She went way out there
But I wanted in
Lost the girl of my dreams
to the stars she had within
I know she set herself free
I just thought you'd wait for me
Frankie had a plan to fly alone
Now in outer space she is my home
Light years out of my grasp
Never thought that kiss was our last
As the smoke did clear from the rocket that crashed
Frankie I'm counting these stars for you
Lost my count around a million and two
Why did you have to leave this place
My girl who's alive in outer space
So long to countless long stem red roses, blue irises, star gazer lilies, lavender orchids and yellow tulips, and cleaning up petals days after they’re given…
Goodbye to months that added up to years at a time away in foreign countries at war, with moist eyes -worried for one another…
Our last sunset we saw together, do you remember it? No, I’m afraid I don’t either…. so sad we didn’t give that missed moment a fitting send off, one last goodbye kiss…
You can keep every “I love you”, “I miss you”, “Love Always,”, “Love Forever,” “I’m thinking of you” and “I’m so sorry…” I meant every one of them…
We moved too quickly and freely through many of the good times, figuring a period would come at some point where we’d pause to enjoy the sweet scent of a rose or two...
I hate to say goodbye to those nights –awww, we know each other so well…
And turn my back on those pet names we had for one another, I believe they’re call “terms of endearment”, I won’t say, those are ours to be lost forever…
How I will miss the laughs, the looks we shared, the way your head fit in my chest when I held you…
Those walks we took, untold number of correspondences, the songs we listened to, the plans we made, those didn’t quite fit in the boxes I packed…
I guess its farewell to being there for each other in old age –“…my bride of 53 years” …well, not quite…
Can we still give advice to youngsters on relationship longevity? I suppose we could, I guess there are still lessons to be taught from a point of failure,
but you know…..
You know I’ll always….
What will I do….
Maybe we don’t…..
No, no time for that now, this brief moment we use to smell those roses; for quite soon our goodbye will be over
Written in Afghanistan -1 AUG 2013
It hurts all the time
This pain in me never stops
I want to cry for you
I want to scream for you
I want to beg for you
I want you to be here
This cant be fair
This cant be real
But I smile and I laugh
I get up every morning to go to work
Throw on a happy face and make some jokes
I come home and enjoy my day
I have fun
And I continue on
But I’m so hurt
I’m so lost
Seeing you in there killed me
I could never get the phone call out my head
The screams from my mom
The walk up there to see if it was true
But most of all I wont forget you
In the casket
Touching your hand
You were so cold
You didn’t belong there
Seeing you go into the ground
Seeing them fall apart
Feeling my heart break into pieces
When all I could do is scream
I will never forget that day
And every time I smile I want to cry
Every time I laugh I want to cry
Every time I think I want to cry
Every breath I take takes a little bit out of me
Because I want to cry
I want this to not be real
I want to had spend more time with you
I want to hug you
Laugh with you
Tell you I love you
That I was always there
That I am still always here
I am so broken
But I continue on with life
Because God took you and not me
He wanted me here for a reason
So ill continue on for
I will laugh
Anything to make it to the end
To see you
I miss you just isn’t enough
It doesn’t mean enough
What heals a broken heart?
Time they say
But time wont bring you back
So my heart stays broken
As I pretend to smile
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
As I’m falling apart
My mask then goes on
RIP Bebo... 17 was to young
It may seem strange to write about a battered old saucepan
but this was no ordinary one
it sprung a leak the other day
sadly without thinking
I threw it away
and now it's gone.
It had been in my family
before I was born
and it was used every day
it broke my heart after
to throw it away.
For all the delicious soups goulash and past
it had contained
the mouth watering delectable smells
from the kitchen
the shouts from my parents
''Come on now set the table dinners made''.
All the red hot broths and porridge we'd scoff
before school on a winters day
all the laughs tears and conversations around
the dinner table before it was was washed
and put away.
It was more than a simple saucepan
because it held a lot of family memories
now my parents sadly passed away
it was one of the last things to remind me
of how things used to be
and mow I have to buy a new one
and accept it's demise
like my family
it's gone forever.
Squinted hard at the hill top,
Far, far, up on the hill top
A tiny shadow
Wanted to jump and run but
Slowly stepped down
Stepped down the bus
Squinted at the shadow
A faint figure,
A figure of a massive tree
My tree, our tree, our mango tree
Standing high and massive, like a giant
Fifty five years…
Fifty five years inside a dark cell,
Dark cell unknown to what I did,
Fifty five years ago, riots.
Riots against my own people
Only eighteen then.
Not anyone’s blood my own blood on my body,
Neighbors blood in my soul.
Behind bars for fifty five year
This morning I was shoved out.
Shoved out, to the unknown world
Wanted to see her, wanted to see her badly
How many dreams I had
Dreams of our childhood, she was fifteen then
Dreams of how I played with her
She and I, dig a hole on the hill top.
Dig a hole to plant a seed.
A mango seed
Up on the hill
Her compound and my compound separated with logs
We held our tiny heads under the tiny stream coming from top
Colorful fish, tiny ones
Could race to the top in ten minutes then
But today nearly one hour gone,
Impatient, impatient to see her laughing eyes
Heart pounding hard, aching heart
I know she is waiting,
She would wait for me, for fifty five years,
I cannot believe I am really here
Under the massive tree,
Our tree, our mango tree
I squint my eyes passing the mango tree
Her house, my house ?
Under the tree, a tiny slate,
“ Rani singhe born 1950 April 02nd ,
Died at the age of fifty,
May she rest in peace” .
Blink my eyes no tears mouth dry
Heart aches, heart yells
ran down fast, as fast as I could, down … down…. Down
On a cool afternoon for tea,
She sat in that chair,
Humming for our silence;
Her bones quivering the instrumentals
Within the ruffles of the skin.
When her tune came to an end,
She took time to turn our way.
Not because she felt obliged
That she had all the time in the world,
But because her youth had shredded
To make her nothing but one
Who hoped for time.
For the painstaking moments passed
And we locked eyes.
She fought her raging wrinkles to smile
And nod my way.
Perhaps she tried too hard
To say a decent goodbye.
One would think he keeps it
Because he has to.
We'd sit on the floor first
Before we touch that chair.
For it encases you,
Tightens its weight upon you
And hums so sweetly between the ear and soul,
The sounds of a sour, unsaid farewell.
Only when this cigar ends
I'll sit and stare, at the ashes
as they fall, a little of my heart
mixed in with them all
Quietly laced through your
shadow, I'd taste each memory
till I forget, the colors and crevices
Of your face, if only you'd let
me slip as slowly, as the smoke
from these lips..
Come love, we must journey home...
bid farewell to yesterday's dead sun.
For storm clouds have gathered to slice the moon;
and we must go, before these arid sands
of misfit time cease to flow.
And we cannot add another hour,
for seconds break not only the day,
but steals the ease of my spirit....and
I have no more gooselike tears to feed the jester;
because this is so love...we must part.
Walk close; let our footsteps fall as one,
leaving primrose stained impressions...
as a legacy of our passing,
like un-framed wisps of art.
Come, we'll trace the moon back to the stars,
where abandoned hearts, never to be forgotten,
breathes the breath of the Beloved.
There we'll rest and lie sweetly
until trust stirs the heart again.
Alas, we'll return one day... another time...
another space beneath a blue moon's dawning;
never look back with eyes of regret...
there's no need to say good-bye.
He dug deep into the soil
Trying to find the hidden treasure
Here would be the answer
Deep in a hole
Pile of earth stacked above him
Sweat pouring from forehead
Blisters blooming on palms
Feel of metal to metal
On hands and knees
Box top released
Voice caught in throat
Skeletal hand grabs on
Treasure long gone
Up above is a laugh
A trap eloquently crafted
Soil pushed on top
This is where
The bodies are buried
A specter walks along the top
With treasure map in hand
Another foolish man
Locked under a pile of earth and sand
The mans identity is assumed
Spirit to flesh from earth exhumed
Perhaps he's gained
Another fifty years
Not to worry
Time he does not fear
Always leads them here
I Just wanted to say you
But the moment says
hopes are high
May be you turn back
for my sigh
May be it wouldn't be easy
as I see
May be its hard for you
as for me
But the moment says
hopes are high
Don't let these hopes die
On your grieved howls you tried to say goodbye
Those tiny feet fragile by its pain
Our beloved little fellow
Age takes back your time, your color
The greenish t-shirt left for love
The blanket of warmth and hope
Nothing we can do but stay
Along with you in last battle of the day
Soft whisper on your ear
Say, leave and go, we let you to the land of no sorrow
Released all your pain we will meet you one day, one life
Be happy in another life
Rest in peace, our beloved dog - Ufo February 18, 2013
Like maple grass shoots
Like attack cobwebs
Like forlorn lovers
Like someone should be addressing the morbid
These things manifest in my hands
Like well fed baby dolls
Like those who can't get by
Like burgundy tears
Like purple lashes
That will all melt away soon too
Under moss engraved cobble stones
Like ear wigs in fresh bark
Like hard candy
Like a digested apple skin
Like goodbye mama
Eternity to me is pomegranate juice
In the bathtub
Like decapitated deer
Like road kill
Like the smell of burnt toast
Like frozen peas on a bone bruise
Manifesting into a heart
The girl saying goodbye mama
Her kisses take the breeze
Like a leaf blower blowing leaves
Like smoke from a cigar
Like tea kettle steam
Like a house in fire
Eternity is a bath tub
A finger prick
One dead end click
Of a cell phone
A corse rope
A necklace too tight
An anklet that doesn't fit right
A girl blowing kisses in the air saying
I’m boarding Delta, and it is the end.
The end of two cumulative months
Hidden in professionalism.
A connection too amazing
To admit openly.
I hold my breath during takeoff.
I always think I'm going to explode
In any given second.
During our time together you would tell
Humorous ones, sad ones, uplifting ones.
You liked boiled peanuts and baseball.
Had a sweet tooth.
Your words melted in the warmth of your
Deep blue eyes.
To me, you were the only man who has
With the talent of creating pure happiness
Within myself. And the beauty of your
Spirit never failed me.
I munch on crackers in seat C.
The woman next to me is chatty, so I look
out the window
For refuge. She doesn’t see me cry.
You spoke of your daughter often.
Bright, energetic, and beautiful.
She looks just like you.
Your daughter never knew me, yet I loved
As my own.
You spoke of your wife, a trying
Rooted in young love.
I have seen you cry from her words.
She troubles me, but mostly
Because I envy her.
Why do they always come by with the
Trash bag before I'm finished?
Perhaps in your personal life you are lazy.
A slob. Thoughtless. Insensitive.
All the things that reasonably might chip
Away at how much
I do adore you from afar.
Yet I do not know if you are any of these.
Professional and moral constraint forbids
And even if you are, I realize
I still live for your happiness,
The landing gear lowers, and I'm back in
Almost as if it all never occurred.
Yet I have loved you since. And I
Will love you from now on.
I may not have you, but you have me,
Always and forever.
And that is just as beautiful and sweet
As Georgia itself.
It's never meant to be
What I feel for you is no longer there
Whoops it's gone
The funniest thing is I made it happened
And it did
Wouldn't you know it?
How would you like it to be on demand?
Awesome I think
I didn't think my tolerance has a limit
Guess it did
So like someone said "it must not be love"
Have no idea what it was
But just the same
I had enough
Words do feel strange
Like it did not apply to me now
Like that person is speaking to someone else
THAT is a good thing
No soul ties
A Turtle to Remember
I caught a very beautiful turtle on my fishing line
took it off quickly to release before it was hurt but.....
it's shell and mystery took a magical hold of me
I carried that very sweet beauty home you see
Showed my father what a great prize I had caught
soon showed that beauty to everyone I knew
My pet needed a new name, one with great fame
A Hannibal, Napoleon, Alexander or Cyrus the Great
three days it took to find a name for my fine pet
It was settled, his name would be Jessie James
Dad merely smiled but six brothers laughed loudly
I did not care for they knew so very little
After all Jessie James knew me so very well
On day number nine little Jessie no longer looked fine
color was off and he hardly dared to move in his box
Dad took charge and ordered me to hurry and release Jessie
release him in the river before he took his last breath
A sad day when I had to let my beautiful friend go away!
Nothing to do or say, life demands such sacrifice
Fishing same spot nine years later saw a huge turtle
watching me for about three hours before swimming close by
I swore it was Jessie James visiting me for old times sake
Six brothers laughed so heartily but they know so very little!
Based on my times with my pet turtle, Jessie James .
I was six years old when I caught him and about 15 when he
visited me again. The years only made him more beautiful!!!
As it always does that which we truly love!
Turtles are meant to be free....
A cute Couple
The missing piece
Of the puzzle
It was you and me
Souls as unity
Who always use to cuddle
snuggle up in the cold nights
And listen to each others troubled past life
We both could imagine being in our life's
Until the day we both die
But love is blind, Tunnel vision
On a one way mission
But our two tickets two our destination were missing
The destinations was love town
Our kids would make us so proud
But that wasn't meant to be
Everything happens for a reason you see
There a season you going through
There's a reason why hasn't yet come to you
Now under the pressure
Of our toxic relationship became so venomous
I gave you my mothers necklace
while you threw it to ground you broke its chain
The circle trust can not be re gained
Ripped up my love letters
Because you were seeing some many other fellas
be-hide my back you got me jealous
I flipped, you know i went reckless
All i could see was the red mist
But i would never strike you with my fist's!
No matter what anyone thinks
Sometimes I think you say things
Just so you can get a reaction out of me
So you can get me to say “i love you baby”
But you don't need do that
I tell you “i love you” not enough and i know that
I got trust issues but your not helping through that
Telling me you with another guy ain’t healthy
This relationship has become overwhelming
Now i reread your texts
To see if you left any subliminal messages
In the hope we get back together
Because I remember the good times better
Than the worst but
I picked the phone up, I got your number up
But I’m too scared to ring you up
I don't want to buckle first
Maybe it was puppy love
But love still hurts.
I'm very glad to hold your waist against mine;
smelling your perfume, and feeling your warmth.
Our heartbeats though, are becoming slower and colder;
you are moving out to another place, because of a better job;
I swear it, I'm really happy for you.
I just wish that God would somehow pause time a little bit,
to give us time to kiss, celebrate life, laugh, and play around
in the open fields.
I will miss your pancakes, smile, voice, sweet heart.......everything
The hardest part for me right now, is to tell you "goodbye"......
Ticking lke a time bomb
Nothing is right
Never will be
For the ones I love
And the ones I hate
Take this time
Do not hesitate
For I will be gone
Sooner then you think
My life will only be a memory
I wish you farewell
Now I lay me down to rest
With this knife into my chest
It's Mr Draca spiting fire! I'm a rebellious King, crown me Sire!
No escape from this checkmate, my mental terrain is higher!
I conspire to devour your desire to win, making your time expire,
My victorious rhymes inspire lines that force all else to retire.
There is a time for everything
But time for me has drawn its wings back away
Leaving me to the sad hellos of today
Do I wish to embellish in the sounds of your pain?
Or will I take the back way into town to seek the reigns?
Tension like ice crackles at the sound of departure
Sometimes leaving it alone is harder
I never expressed the selfish growths of my pride
I am sickened in darkness, stuck in this mind
Where is the heart when one needs the goodbye?
Where is the mind when I break down and cry?
I never amounted to much
Though I was granted everything
My wings are folded too tightly with time
The meat is tucked beneath and only I feed
On the breadth of my own luscious nourishment
Will I crush you with indifference?
Silently beat you with fervent fury?
Will I flood with tears of inward emotion?
The sick selfishness one masks as devotion!
Heat melts away the ice
Replaced by tethered spite
Before the night sweeps you away
I never will cherish this today
I will let the time dive into the abyss
With the greetings and salutations one will never miss
I will ride into the fiery skies with no care but my own
Landing in turbulent waters in winds that moan
There is a reason but it is unknown
And that is how it will always be
Can’t you see this is good for you?
This is the only way—I fear for you
Abandonment is only an emotion
So, goodbye, farewell
A Dream of Love...
And now,the fruit of
A dream,I had buried.
Surprises me with life...
I worried,the dream might
Be embarrassed if ever
It came into being
Ashamed at its inabilities.
I hid it from prying fingers
Yet it surprises me,comes to life...
All I did was think about it often.
Often enough, I hoped
To save it from forgetfulness,
Age and a bad memory.
Yet it surprises me,comes to life...So soon....
I loved too much I guess.
Maybe God felt sympathy,
Gave me a gift.
I'd rather not be given.
I wish to snatch it from the heavens,
Wish to make it happen.
Yet it surprises me...so easy...
The fruit I'm given;
I cannot savour.
But then I can't not accept it.
I really must have it.
Cause it is after all
My dream.My love.
Dream...Cause it will come to life...
Dream...And bring it to life.
Posted for Contest Any Poem/Any form- for new poets of Soup. Posted on 26/11/2013
The candle has been burning brightly in our lives for so many years
Sadly it is flickering and nearly burnt down to the quick
One day the light will slowly fade
The once golden glow will dim
Finally to be extinguished and die
Then to the light of our lives we will say a sad goodbye
The coldest white had fell
Surrounding all the feet of those behind
The day turned into hours
Just in the mind
Did the gift appear in night?
Or were dreams reality?
Did it come from karma’s hands?
It drifts from sanity
The trek towards that happy place
You’ve been there many times
Something was different now
It held a horrible surprise
The box wasn’t full of life and sound
The ashes of memories made were here
Taking longer to twist the knife
Left remains of a child now in tears
Standing still you couldn’t breath
Excuses flying in your mind
Trying to figure out the scene
Hoping there’s time
You look up to see
Expectant eyes for the last time
You wish you could keep
But it’s the saddest of a smile
I need to heal and fast,
I can feel the time running out, all too soon.
But can't push myself out of the agony,
The threads of pain pull me back like a puppet.
I seem wrong to be grieving now, odd one!
Everybody else is no longer black,
Me, haven’t seen the sunlight for long;
The mansion, its corridors, the rooms now my world.
The wound in my heart is still too fresh,
It forbids me from a sunset on the beach,
It forbids me from running or skipping,
It forbids me from laughter and joy...
In denial: they say but it's not all true, I accept
I know he is dead, He is no more
But do I dump him in my past and move on?
The thought makes me hate myself!
He would want you to smile again, live further..
Strangers tell me his likes and wants, the know-it-alls.
I look straight ahead and avoid their prying eyes
It’s a losing battle, I know but let me lose in grace...
Visitors keep pouring in, with flowers and tears.
He was a man loved by many, the crowd proves it,
Everybody seems shocked and pale but not as lost as me
I glide along the windows, reliving the shadow of memories...
The moments were many, uncountable even,
It crushes my soul to think, they are all I have,
I see his fingerprints on the window panes,
I search for mine too, just beside him they lay...
The garden is being watered, but by a strange hand
The plants understand the master is now below them,
He will never enjoy their colors or drive away moths
His ashes and scent scattered around the mango tree..
I smile at the garden then burst out laughing,
Before I know, warm tears run down my nose
But there still lingers a smile, wet with glistening tears
I am happy he lived, he lived full and more...
“Mommy, I miss you when I'm not here.”
“Oh I miss you too Hun, You have no idea
But don't you be sad while we are apart
We’re always together, home is in the heart.
When we're not together look up at the sky
The moon you see there Is the same one as I.”
“Mommy it is ? How do you know?”
“We share the same sky, Sweet, where ever you go.
There's only one moon in that sky up above
when you miss me look up, Its filled with my love.”
That child now is grown,
A young man tall and strong
I hope I did well, maybe a thing or two wrong.
Tonight's the last night I will still have a boy
For tomorrow he flies.
My pride and joy.
Talking and laughing
Precious time we did share.
Just being together, so glad I was there.
The time flew too quickly
Just it wasn’t enough.
The moment closed in,
It was going to be tough.
“Mom, I have to report now.”
“Yes son,I know.
I’ll miss you so much.”
So hard to let go.
A hug like no other, both held on for so long.
So much pride in my son, now its time to be strong.
Staying true to his choices and knowing they’re right.
Tomorrow’s the day, a new chapter, new life.
The morning did come as it does everyday
But this one is different, he’s leaving today.
We hugged long and hard, not a single dry eye.
He was called to the plane, the hardest good bye.
I turned one last time and I gave him a smile
Didn’t know when I’d see him, would be quite awhile.
Made my way through the airport with tears flowing free
Felt both sadness and pride inside of me.
Weeks passed, not a word
How tough that was.
Wondering, worrying, that’s what a mom does.
I knew in my heart that he was alright,
and that moon helped me through many a night.
Then today came a letter, the very first one.
Couldn't wait to read it,
Hear all the things he had done.
Said he had his head shaved
Got his boots, uniform, a gun
Push ups and running
He was tired, sore when each day was done.
He's proud though and happy, good with his choice.
Miss him so much-
His smile and his voice.
At the end of that letter
Hard to read through my tears-
PS “I looked at the moon”
He remembered, all these years.
Where do you live? Question skipped
Where do I go? "Just leave and go"!
Do you want me to follow? Please let me know
"No! Just stay right there and go back home".
Its almost a year when love was born
And I still want to know you more
I thought I've known you for so long
Forgot to ask your permanent home
You said you have a big family
And its a waste for me to see
If they find out our secrecy
Our relationship will then last easily
Afraid and never asked for more
Deep-inside the questions grew
Looking for a way that's sure
To meet your family and tell them our love's pure
Its our first year anniversary
When I followed you; you're unaware
In a dark-far away place
I've seen you entered the gate
I was able to get-in; a house so dim
With my ears I listened; my eyes tried to observe
Then I heard a baby crying; a man sounded-big
"Its too late in the evening. My wife lets have a sleep".
My heart jumped all over
I think I just got killed
A lover who made me stronger
Is now my life's destroyer
Where do I go?
Please let me know
No permanent home
Hurting you wasn't my intention
For me to keep sanity
My spirit halted me with an intervention
You're a shot in the dark
Our minds are galaxies apart
Too much conflict
While I disliked it,
You seem to be an addict
I'm more content
Finding less and less to vent
My battles are fought by me
Your battles are an Odyssey
Clash of the Titans, Greek mythology
Too much drama for me
I'll retreat while you cry to your momma
Hopefully peace and happiness find you tomorrow
His brown eyes
She still feels them looking at her
She still see them smiling at her
She still remember their first time together
She still recall his touch
and she fell in love
The world was perfect
the colors were alive and vibrant
She was in love
He was a beautiful stranger
A stranger that caught her untamed heart
She was so in love
She remember how he cared about her
She remember the sound of his heartbeat
or was it just a make believe?
She thought he was her hero
didn't he try to rescue her?
and she gladly ran to him.
She thought his arms are her castle
as her head rest on his chest
there is no sky she couldn't fly
but she never knew..
She wish she had
the shadow of someone she thought he'll never be..
She thought he was her Knight..
but she didn't see..
the same knight whose sword is meant to bring death to her heart..
to him, she was nothing but a Paramour..
Dimonds are not beauty. Beauty is people and things unknown. Things unknown that swirl around in a young child's mind and happiness amounts to a flower crown made for a small girl with the soul of a faire. Happiness that comes from the pure joy of looking in your mothers deep brown eyes and getting warm fuzzies . Joy that spills out into a smile when a wise woman tells her that the little floating fuzzies in the air are baby angels and that when it thunders it's just there mom singing them an angel sized lullaby a lullaby that makes her big blue eyes sparkle....But the wind changes and the sparkling in her big blue eyes fade and the flower crown withers and dies and the baby angels turn into dust and unknown things still bring joy. But so do things that bring trouble and those big brown eyes sometimes betray her and the thunder is just thunder and baby Angels and days of simple joy vanish ...But if she waits just for the right moment the clowds will gather and the sparkle returns to her big blue eyes and the wounderful liquid leaks out of the sky! spinning and spinning her hair dripping. She squeezes the big blue eyes shut and suddenly the baby angels return To the sky and the Flower crown gets a long drink of water and blooms once again and and the angel lullaby returns to the air and rings in her ears and those deep brown eyes watch her spinning and remember why they fell in love with her and
finally she is home !!
He was going off to college with his mom watching on.
Tears in her eyes even though he would not be gone long.
Had she taught him enough would he make it?
What if too much stress and he could not shake it?
Before he left, there were kisses and hugs
then she slipped a note in his luggage........
A lot of laughter, some pain
Circle back then rearrange
Time to stop this train, let it be
Try a different route and set free
Know who you are and mean it
Be confident and brave you will benefit
Dreams, who you are when you are awake
Open the gate, at the front line, your time to shine
Now go make it...
©Holly P. Moore
To my son Jonathan, the baby is leaving the nest
Deep within a forest glade
grows a single beautiful fragrant rose
It's sweet aroma
floats upon a gentle summer breeze
from it's soft petals and folds.
But what makes this humble rose
is it's the last rose in the world to ever
Such a rare precious flower
should be treated with tender loving care
but it loses it's once vibrant color
and fades and wilts to brown
falling to the ground
only to be swept away
by a precarious turbulent wind
without the mere whisper of a memory
that it had ever existed
Romance surrounds us,
Flowers blooming by our sides.
Echoing laughter being heard from below.
In the flawless winds,
Discovering genuine peace.
Crows hovering above us,
As we say our loving vows to one another,
Looking to redeem our childhood memories.
Tick goes the clock,
As the mirror shatters,
I then say goodbye, to my one true love.
It all happened in a flash.
You came into my life,
turned my world upside down,
then left me in the dark.
You put me through hell,
I fought to make it back up
to the surface of reality.
I had to survive on my own.
I had to fight the demons away.
I had to strive for life.
Now you're back,
asking for me to forgive you.
I grew into a stronger woman,
since you did what you did,
now I'm going to show you
what hell feels like,
cause baby, well...
you're a nobody to me,
you're a novelty painting
in a run down dump.
You think that with your
cute crooked smile you will
"win me over"
but not this time.
I have conquered
Now I run this show
you're no longer good enough.
ta-ta for now,
hope you feel the pain you put me through.
Cold body nestles itself in
A cozy warm blanket
Under the spell of a swaying moon
I lose myself in this empty room
Surrounded by darkness
Memories of you that once swoon
Slowly begin to fade
As the hollowness inside
Insists on keeping me awake
Distance so cold
Seeps into my bones as desolate tears
Have penned in my soul
Painful verses and prose
So much time has gone by
I search to find small
Glimpses of our lives entwined
I can no longer make out your face
But a part of me keeps searching to find you anyway
I will curse my own life
For who says half dead
Is the same as being alive
So many times I try to wish you away but
For me, it's like you never left my side
My knees get weak-
As you whisper;
Sweet nothings in my ear.
I start to shiver
At the words delivered,
Our fate becoming clear.
You caress my skin,
Leaving trails of kisses;
Every place you touch.
My breath deepens-
As your mouth meets mine.
The pleasure is getting to be too much.
Our passion is apparent.
Our kisses become rhythm.
Our love becomes a song.
I could never really fathom,
How these feelings could be;
Now I sit and think,
Of how it had to end.
Our closeness is slowly dying.
If I said that I could forget about you-
this feeling of being safe;
I know that I would be lying.
Every time I see you,
I want to press your body to mine;
I want to hold you tight.
I love you-
Even though I know that;
You can't be- 'Mr. Right'.
So the struggle continues;
I'll always love you-
Until the end.
It kills me to know...
that you can't think of me;
as nothing but a friend.
From time immemorial your story began
A hundred, a thousand, a million years and more
Your story past written a character just one
The tale of you bleeds into all
Each story unique while pieces the same
Today, tomorrow, millennia expended and gone
Your story continues passed first to no last
The tale of you bleeds into all
Through love and hate, laughter and death
Minutes and seconds grew to decades and days
The story being written you wrote each day
The tale of you bleeds into all
Memories endure through dream and remembrance
Yesterday is gone but tomorrow you live on
Your story yet written a character more than one
The tale of you bleeds into all
Your stories the fires shall never consume
A past, a future, a present goes on
The story you wrote lives forever in your love
The tale of you bleeds into all
Autumn comes I stand watching the leaves..thinking
The breath leaves my body unseen
But as the mercury drops and as I ponder my place.
I notice all I think all I feel.
Right there on the window before me.
To others it's just a mist caused by cooling or heating or both.
A chilhood whimsical game"oh boy look it's cold"
To me that mist is all, your name , your face, Our time.
I want to wipe it away this physical aberation of all unseen in my heart.
I see it all the pain the love the heartache everything in a small whitish cloud on a simple window.
My hand reaches pauses oh so this is what you look like.
Oh if it was so easy to be done.
The mist fades rapidly with every lonely wasted breath. Making an apperance oh so briefly.
What ever course I take to wipe away or to gently touch the mist.
Would this breath on the window which taunts me so relay back to my damaged soul see its gone you'll be ok now or see how it welcomes your touch?
welcome to the world for all to see.
Hidden by the sun most of the time.
My fingers glide through the vanishing mist, I flash back to your cheek beneath my fingers.
Goodbye my love, goodbye my pain, goodbye to the only proof I have left of you.
But at peace I am.
I know now what I did not before.
Your not invisable your their in my breath.
Kissing the crisp Autumn air with me.
And all I have to do is breath.
And my visible breath will show me all I feel is real as real as the mist on the window
My heart is in pieces, shattered and bruised
The hardest part of being used
I'm picking up what is left, locking it away
A keyless lock, combination unknown
A fragile heart without a home
Shake the box, foundation undone
A tiny piece given here or there
Not easily done, scared to be broken once more
One More Night
Please stay with me one more night.
I don't want you to leave me. The night
is very cold. Please give me your warmth.
Stay just this night, I won't ask for more.
Put a bow on this night and make it a gift.
Tomorrow you can go, before the sun comes
It will still be dark but you can leave. You
will place a kiss on my forehead and you will
say goodbye. You will think that I'm asleep.
I will already have left before you - only you
didn't see me go. My body will be there and
my soul will see you go.
I wish for you the best in your travels throughout
this life. I will always be greatful for you spending
with me the last of my nights...
Written by Lucilla M. Carrillo
I can’t stop for you now
You are holding me by reigns that don’t exist
Why are you holding so tightly?
I can’t breathe—I can’t understand!
I allowed you to take my hand for the ride
I’ve allowed you by my side
But you turn away when others arrive
I feel like I’ve been tugged by the lot of kings
Of cruel beings threatening to chop my wings
I feel tattered and sore
And the journey drags because you always want MORE
What more can I do?
I can’t stop for you to catch up
Hitch on or move on!
If you can’t see that I care
Why are you here? How much more should I bear?
I’m torn without your smile
The extra silence squeezing from bile
I don’t mind the quiet but I hate your screaming
I can’t always be the one to be intervening
I can’t stop for you on every road bump
I’ve got to keep going—I’m sorry
You don’t have to be behind
You can go on ahead—would you rather be dead?
These harnesses are nothing—your effortless frustration kills me
And if you say nothing, what say I?
Must I stay and wait for you to reply?
Must there always be a hello—a goodbye?
WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES
WE ALL HURT OVER WORDS
Why then, can’t we heal over silence?
I was blinded, I was fooled.
I thought what we had was real...
Your sweet words of kindness swept me off my feet.
Your dark eyes that once gave me comfort, now are forever mocking me.
Your arms that wrapped around me, now wrap around my throat.
Your hands once so fragile, now are demonic as they clasp tighter and tighter.
Our eyes and bodies are locked together,
One gasping for breath...
The other praying for my death...
Darkness oozes from you mouth,
Slicing my skin, as my blood begins to pour.
Is this what you wanted?
For now, I lay unconcious...
And forever, will I haunt you.
Heart is broken, prayers are unanswered. Everything around me is crashing down.
You said i was special but now im nothing but a faded dead memory. I thought you
were different, I thought you were my best friend, but you showed your true colors
and they are dark and sketchy. You said you would die for me but now you are the
one killing me. tiny pieces of my heart around your feet your kicking them around
like tiny pebbles. To you its goodbye i used to think your favorite words were me
and you forever baby i promise. But we all know empty promises never follow
through. I learned my lesson. So goodbye forever. Two bitter tasting words to say
pleasure i seek without you
pain i get from the thorns of curiosity
when i knock again, your blessing answers the door
i say nothing and leave to take a walk through the woods
i never look back and i quickly forget your name and telephone number
it is then that something in the auspices of suddenness clicks
life has no stoplight and even less mercy
realization can be a light seldom seen
growth i discovered despite you....
For the smiles you brought, I am grateful,
The times we shared, I will never forget.
But the lies you spoke will haunt me,
And your cheating you should forever regret.
Unlike you, I know when time is up,
When to let go instead of lying.
So now it is time to bid you adieu,
For I am tired of trying.
I’m leaving you
When you find this note
This silly piece of paper
That can’t possibly carry
All the little fears
That are tying my heart
Don’t hate me!
Because….because I’m afraid
You’re too perfect
It scares me
I’m not used to being loved
Truly…for who I am
And not for what I do
Or what I give!
Before I mess things up
And break your heart
And shatter your dreams
Before I drive that knife
Into your soft beautiful heart
Before I become needy
And impossible to live with
I’m afraid of my feelings
Afraid I’ll idolize you
Do your every bidding
And so lose myself,
That you will find nothing in me...
To entice you
To tantalize you
To keep you wanting
Nothing that will make you want to
Continue to explore
Because I just love you way too much….
Eileen Manassian Ghali
i've been telling myself to stop
i've been trying hard to escape
i've been loving you all my life
but do you really care?
there's a little piece of heaven, inside this hell with you
for only on those stolen moments
i could say i own you.
but it can't be like this forever
i can't always be a shock absorber.
i don't wanna feel empty again.
everytime i come out of this little heaven..
i hate you.
Within the pause of uncertainty,
Within the agonizing serenity between violence and relief,
Do I find myself now,
Holding onto what I have made dear…
Because within it all, I am not supposed to fear
Hope is supposed to remain
People resume and claim sane
I’d rather wash the silence away
Clear the debris to see the real damage
Something is soon to come
Some sick, ancient sound pounds the eardrum
There it is again, and the peace of in-between is removed
Pretending to be cool as the blood boils beneath
Crushed in the crunchy failures of others’ skeletons
And the decaying ones’ inevitable, comparable fate
There is no clean slate
It’s the buildup that keeps us going
It’s the wonder, the…never knowing
The thing about life
it can end in an instant
When the rope of the
wraps tightly around your
Neck squeezing tighter
you just want to jump
To end it all to end all
and the hatred and words
It is not only the words
you over the edge
It is too the fists and
that slam into you
Over and over
a break with out letting up
Making you break down and slide down
and cry and cry and cry
One phone call can
live, stopping that jump
Stopping the self hate
spreading the love
The love i have for
never fade or die and i hope
will make you better
and to be able to be
Happy again to
forever and always with me
just remember and know
NOT YOUR FAULT
And in an instance,
I realized that we were not only one in the present
but that we were one in the past
We have always been one
And that the same strings that attach stars in a constellation
2 my daughter's im sorry I thought I could hold on longer.
Pain has become my rain and the feeling of failure stronger.
Depression is just a weapon that karma uses to conquer.
So this is my final message there's nothing I have to offer.
The love In my heart depleted I feel like my soul is empty.
Not saying im suicidal but why dose it sound so tempting.
I wish things could be different but heavens ordered my torture.
If I make it to heavens doors my pass will be null and voided.
2 my daughter im sorry but daddy was just 2 broken.
Place a rose in my casket and tell them that they can close it.
Tears fall from my face my faith is forever frozen.
Angels lead me 2 heavens gates just to show me they'll never open.
My prayers are answered silent struggles witnessed with laughter.
The ending is almost near so why not approach it faster.
Some will say im a coward and death is a easy answer.
Walk a mile in my shoes and maybe you'll understand it.
Why did you leave?
Oh companion of mine
Why did you leave?
Twas it really your time?
Did you see no point in staying
another measly day?
By my side if you were oh the
things I would say!
Judge you, I would not
Tis not in my nature
The emptiness I feel from your
passing measures to that of a
A bullet took your life
One blast and it's through
What pains me to know is the
gun was held by you
All you left behind was a note
for family and friends
Inscribed were many ' I love
And your deep heartfelt
No need to say sorry
For you lived a full life
I shall always remember this
through the pain, struggles,
'You don't know what you got
until what you got is no more'
Oh how this saying is true!
As the tears stream my face
and I reminisce of you
With anger in our eyes and
pain in our hearts
We lay you to rest
Hoping that solace will
overflow in our lives
We miss you Eric
This is in plain black and white
Had we the power we'd wish
you back to life
I take comfort in knowing one
day we'll meet again
Beyond the pearly gates
reunited as friends
This is NOT goodbye
Only a brief farewell
When shall we meet again?
Only time will tell
One year I went to a summer school.
And there was a girl there
With shining eyes and
An award winning smile.
She was kind to everyone and
Excluded no one.
She always laughed with others
But you could go to her when you
We talked for hours and
Quickly became friends.
Last year I went back to summer school.
The girl was still there.
She had sad eyes but
Kept the award winning smile.
She was kind to everyone yet
She never laughed properly
But you could always go to her
when you needed it.
We talked for mere minutes and
I guess I lost a friend.
This year when I went to summer
The girl was no longer there.
Rumours of suicide surrounded
And no one was kind to us all.
Everyone excluded their-selves.
Silence consumed every thought and moment
Because no one was there when we
truly needed it.
Memories of talking haunted me and
I couldn't help but miss my friend.
Don't watch my footsteps disappear
in search of ephemeral rocks to anchor
But wait with me to gather spirits
so I won't be afraid of Sunsets...
When orange melts away in darkness
Just stay with me until it's over
Caress my stranded fins with Dawn
Please do Not cry..I will be... Home...
(author of "f Lava of My Soul")
the kind rope
is far too short
for your neck to crack
in it's loving embrace,
and the coffin
isn't large enough
to house your dimmest of thoughts.
love too deep
so much of it we did keep
of laugh and tears
shared intimate dreams
owning each other in realms.
he turned his back last night
broke his cam
and said goodbye.
told him I love him many times
losing him, I can't bear
he is being used,
we did our best
I cried much, my heart in pain.
but he decided to stop
hope is gone
he said, find another man.
must I if i love him much?
WE FAILED, THEY WIN.
(inspired by the 'Black Butterflies)
Is it all a sad
I may abuse the
apathy cruise control
but behind your eyes
are dead highways to
and I have to be
All That I'd Ever Want
Would be to confess my love
As I hold you gently, embracingly in my arms
And to appreciate your beauty
While falling every day, over and over
For your sweet loving charms
Love's a many joys and pains; A wild ride no matter how you take them reigns. In vain we try our best at evading the lanes, but you gonna get wet if you stay in the rain. And you can press reset once you reach that place where the hurt in your chest starts to fade and be replaced with the fact that the wackness can be faced; laughed and left, not mad, no regrets. See it might take a little second, trust I've been there before. Disappointed in the person you gave too much credit. You aint a fool for gettin fooled, that's what foul folks do, but you a fool if you aint wise enough you debt it. See it's hard out here slim pickings on the regular; Fallin for charisma lookin past character. But when it's all said and done, better aim my style. I'll let karma do it's thing and laugh last. "Ha-haaaa"
Hit the gas!
I’ve given up the prospects of brick walls
And smoke crawling out of chimneys
Of white snowmen and Christmas trees
I’ve given up hope of these
I’ve given up on Oxford and New York times
Places where people do things with their lives
I’ve given up on seeing the Eiffel Tower
Or travelling on planes to wherever I want to
I’ve given up on the aroma of hot chocolate
And marshmallows roasting on an open fire
I’ve turned my back on silly winters
And frostbite and chocolate for Valentine’s
I’ve changed my mind about chasing dreams
I only get hurt when I do
So then what’s a dream if it can’t come through?
It will be a façade to me and a story to you
bullets fall like rain
i cannot escape from this war.
a mine explodes nearby,
smoke fills my lungs, choking
the very life from me.
i see my mother standing
tears in her sapphire eyes.
she begs me to stay in America
where it’s safe from war, “O mama,”
i cry, “I won’t make it home to you.”
flying backward, gun in the air
freed from my weakened grasp.
blood...is it mine?
shock comes deep, i stagger up
grasping empty straws.
i see my father now,
proud, strong, and true
“don’t forget to pray,” he whispers
crying, salt tears wetting his cheeks.
i never forgot, papa, no not even once.
i feel the blood wet my shirt
darkness clouds my eyes,
i hear a distant scream,
voices echo in the field
the battle is dying.
i see my little brother
standing so young and innocent
eight years old and proud of me,
“little brother, take up the torch
don’t let freedom die, don’t let it...
written 30th Nov 2001
Lost and alone
for she doesn't know where to go
This mother is now stuck
she weighs up her options
And see's she is fighting against gossips
she stops, and takes a look at this world
What have they done, to this lovable little girl
as she open's her eye's
Only to be faced, with all there lie's
feeling alone and tired
She walk's on, to only find
she is saying good-bye..
Taking one last look around
before she lay's down on the ground
As her eye's completely, silently close
she whispers, her final prayer to die
Still she walk's on, lost and alone
but the difference now is quite clear
For you can see her soul.....just disappeared...
Middle of the night
All that is heard
Is yelling & screaming
A voice says,
...Don't do that!..."
Walk into the room
Nothing to see
One click of the light switch
All is revealed
Empty liquor bottles
Knife on the floor
Blood splattered all over the walls
With writing on it that reads,
"See what you made me do?"
Look on the floor
A dead body holding a gun
Look on the ceiling
A dead body hanging
What a nightmare
But a wish come true
You come from that place where Queen Anne’s lace
and milk thistle grow thick on the creek bank
behind the house.
Black-eyed Susans, opened to the sky,
sway strong and tall in the wind.
A dogwood blooms;
in remembrance of friends gone.
And the dust gathers
heavy over that forgotten place.
My heart closed up like a daylily
And I, a late blooming rose,
far into an Indian summer.
You left; then I—
left and shook the dust not just from feet,
but hair, skin, bones.
It collected deep inside, though.
As you did.
We never said goodbye.
© stephanie pepper, 2013
saying goodbye to you
is like being in a snowstorm
and watching my only companion
walk away through the whiteness
fading away through
until the only evidence
you ever existed
so tired of my heart
so tired of my hands
I'm so tired of my mind
I'm through pacifying
Do I only love you for who you used to be?
When you said you'd wait for all eternity?
Did you drink away every memory of me?
How am I not everything you’ll ever need?!
I've had to sit down and write this
to tell you the words i can't speak
When I'm around you now i feel weak
I'm drowning in my disconnection
Where did he go??
You are not the soul I used to know
Where did your memories go?!
Why has the meaning disappeared…
Now I realize I should too
You act like you remember nothing
I can tell that’s what I mean to you
After all I’ve done for you
All I want is to be emotionless too
In the end I guess it’s what I love the most about you…..
[©2012 SLS, this soon to be a new song for It Is Rife With Ambiguity]
Lately, when I catch you
Looking at me
Whether in bed
Or any time, really,
Your countenance seems
Different in some way.
Your beautiful eyes
Are slightly larger
Than usual, containing
A hint of sadness,
Of melancholy, perhaps,
And your luscious mouth,
So often visited by my own,
Struggles to hold its shape,
Looking as if it needs to form
Words you’re trying desperately
To keep from saying.
Your face is an easy read.
It’s alright, my darling.
We agreed early on
There were no strings,
That nothing is forever
That we would just enjoy
Our moments together.
Follow your heart…always.
I am not hurt.
I am content to have
Loved you for a little while.
It was spectacular.
We will meet again
Just like we used to
In bars and parks
We will meet again
In my memoirs
I feel broken inside
My body aches
My heart bleeds
My past mistakes crush me
My tears fall like Niagara Falls
I’m left here all alone
With no one on my side
No one seems to care
You’re the only one I had
Now I am broken inside
I’m alone in my world
Nowhere to go
Nowhere to hide
Here I lie
That smirk that kills me
That bravo! That instills me
The blunt truth you were able to see
That I cherished you
But you kept quiet,
and I felt like a fool
The fool who cared
And you friend, The White Colonial Hollow Man that didn't care
Pardon me for calling you hollow
I know you’ve been hurt, struck by the need to prioritize
Shift and allocate and customize
What comes first in your life
But it still hurts that the timing was not right
That luck was not by my side
But who am I kidding
Neither luck nor time could have made this right
If your heart was not by my side
You sail upon a different tide
And I am still stuck by the shore
Looking for a grain of hope
Hope that you might turn around and sail to the coast
But do tell me, how come I was struck
How come I favoured and noticed
and you so fervourless?
How can you so bluntly tell me I shouldn’t?
How come I saw and you couldn’t
The frustration that you have ignited
Is strongly enticing, tranquilizing
I gathered some courage and uttered “I care”
Yet such feelings, along with many candidates, you couldn’t share
Made me beat myself up, for my astounding luck!
“throw it all behind you", you said
without thinking twice or even considering how I felt
it hurts to be rejected
but you know what stings the most,
what kills the most, what harms the most
what makes me ache,
the thought that caused the pain,
was not that you didn’t care
but it was when you saw my care to be a bore
a bore that only became a load
so I fell in to utter, shrieking silence
“don’t give awkwardness space”, he said
it wasn’t awkwardness that needed space
but a wounded pride to be mended
so fly along the course of life
live your days, and so will i
too bad our stars were not aligned
I am done caring.
For what it is to my gain, if I cherish in vain
For it is better to be slapped by the Truth
than kissed by a Lie
so fly along the course of life
and live your days, and so will I
From the skeleton's remains
I say goodbye
To a broken heart
cold and lonely
You never heard me cry
In the whispering clouds
Where dreams are blown away
that were made
I never saw it coming
Moister my teardrops
Thunder and lightning
You brought on the storm
Falling in raindrops
You upon the ground
To the remains of you
This part of me
The last of you found
From the remains
My heart will blossom
Ditching this skeleton aside
Drawing a new start
No more tears
I say good bye
I want you to stay with me
I want you to remain close
But if you want to get away from me
Then I will let you go
Only stay if I’m the one you love
Be with me if I’m the one you want to be with
Don’t stay with me just because
Do it because I’m who you love and you don’t want us to be an opportunity missed
Don’t stay with me for fear of being alone
You will find another man
But don’t break-up with me one the phone
That’s not something I could understand
I think this is just the start
You think we’ve ran our course
We both have different hearts
You need to be faithful to yours
I won’t beg you to stay with me
I can’t make you love me
I hope you’ll spend another day with me
And show me you want me in the way you hug me
If you leave
I’ll move on
We’ll both need time to grieve
But a fresh start we’ll both get a new one
I won’t beg you to stay with me
I won’t force you to go
It takes 100% from 2 people to make a relationship
That’s something you should know
I won’t call if you go
I won’t beg you to come back
Only stay with me
because you want to, is all I ask
I lay there in a daze
watching you sleep
with thoughts racing in my head
as I was trying
to memorize your face.
I just wanted to hold you,
Wishing that I could show you how I feel
for it might be the last chance..
the last day together
one moment I would cherish forever
I know tomorrow
I'll be watching you walk away,
not wanting you to go..
but I must and I have to find the strength somehow,
To kiss your lips goodbye...
Good-bye was never mentioned but;
It was Good-bye just the same.
I told myself not to look back and I didn’t except;
The inside me did and still looks back to this very day.
A curse woven by a mountain she wolf perhaps;
And me the ever elusive coyote;
Chancing the nights away;
I often laughed but it wasn’t ever play.
She told me she sometimes;
Saw me as angel;
But the devil;
He’s an angel too;
I saw her desperate and standing;
“All alone against the world outside”
But it was only a heat I thought and;
The Philly she’s sure to run.
And where was the love she once asked.
And when I left I thought;
I was running from the devil;
But I think I was running from myself
As all things pass, you must
Beyond, no earthly future lies
No limits be secured
Chosen by the hand of God
You pass before our eyes
With arms outstretched, we reach
To hold you back
In looking back we see ahead
An emptiness surrounds
How fragile now we feel
The clutch of sorrow's bounds
With time strength will return
And clearly then we'll see
The message of this mournful day
For we, too, shall pass dear Son
And with you, then, we'll be
My heart is in pain for what
I have seen and heard,
Dogs eat dogs and ants eat ants;
The moon turns dark;
The sun spits fire;the sky coughs blood,
Leaves are dry,seas are dry and the soil fumes;
What I see has made me blind,
What I hear has made me deaf;
I am a blind man in your midst,
Am I part of your world?,
I love death more than these,
soon at dawn I will be gone,
for I am not part of it;
Your ways are not my ways;
Cry not for me,for I go to rest.
Summertime sang its chorus
Echoed through my brain
Springtime promised hope
Sending rain to clear the pain
I walked into the solstice
Prayed solace for my soul
Sacrificing my heart, your crucible
To purify the gold
I searched out the light,
I stared into the sun
Its rays scarred my eyes
I couldn't read your runes
Loneliness consumed me
In the darkness at noon
As soon as I heard your voice, I fell in love with you
I loved you unconditionally for 3 years.
You hurt me so bad. You left me with so many open wounds.
You didn't realize how bad you left me.
Yet, I still loved you like the first day.
We were both on and off. I knew you were going to be my worst heartbreak.
I couldn't let you go. I forgave every mistake you did.
You were still flawless to me. I was so blinded by your love.
At one point you loved me. Those perfect moments we spent together.
We both believed we were meant to be. We knew if we were able to see each other everyday, things would be completely different.
But, long distance is holding us apart.
In the end I hurt you, leaving you with open wounds.
I tried fixing your wounds, but I hurt myself even more.
This big mistake I did, you couldn't forgive me.
That's when I knew I was the only fool loving you unconditionally.
You left me completely broken, I finally realized it's best I let you go.
I hope you never regret the day you left.
When I first saw your picture, my little ball of fluff; I loved you. He handed over the cash and I sold you my heart. You came to me without papers but it didn't matter -- you sealed the certificate with several loving licks. Each stroke made the happiness in my chest tick.
You were my baby and I'll always love you.
Knew I couldn't have kids and I wanted my first son to be Bentley; that's why it was first love when you met me. Bought you clothes and toys and the best munchies. Had to spoil my little man like it's supposed to be.
Whenever I'd get in fights you'd kiss away my tears. My friends missed my calls but my dog took away my fears. I'll miss my buddy; he was a girl's best friend. The closest thing an infertile young lady could get in the end.
I'll miss you.
Am I going insane?
This is driving me insane.
What the hell have I gotten myself into?
I try to straighten out my brain
go away for a while, but you follow me
I know you love me, I love you to
but I don’t know what else I am to do
I am going to end up hurting you
It’s best you keep away
I am a natural ticking time bomb
Just wait, I’m gonna blow up in your face
But I don’t want to, I really don’t
But I've lost all control
I am going away now, this is goodbye
Don’t try to stop me and say this isn’t right
I may not go forever
or I may be gone for good
But it shouldn't matter anyways
you will move on, and forever forget about me
This is for your own good.
little girl with blue eyes.with blonde curls.A sky blue dress.And a basket full of apples shes bringing home to mama.
Little girl crossing the meadow.Not very far from home.She waves at nearby rabbits peeking out of rabbit holes.She walks with a rhythm.She hums a little tune.Shes only eight years old and she does not notice the sky is turning a dark shade of blue.
little girl takes a nap in the meadow.Just a short one she says and slowly closes her eyes.
She falls into a deep sleep dreaming of butterflies.
Bobby day was a lonely boy.Looking for comfort.The little girl had treated him kind.She also had beauty before her time.He looked down upon her sleeping in the meadow.a basket full of apples laying beside her.
Little girl awoke to night fall.She awoke to Bobby day staring intently at her.
Bobby was a predator.that's what her mama always said.Lonely only because he had women scared.He wanted to take her home but the little girl knew better than that.
No one but bobby and that little girl were around.In the dead of the night only the hoot owl saw what occured.It was an accident bobby will testify .She fell backwards and hit her head as i tried to grab her .I didnt know what to do when blood trickled from her head.So
I carried her to the river and threw her body in.But i did not kill her.It was an accident he said . the judge felt sympathy and gave him four years.But for the rest of his life that little girl would haunt his memories.Knowing that his own actions may have inadvertently caused her to die.
In this garden my calloused feet trace pathways
Along wild flowers and rose bushes
Planted by gracefully meticulous hands
She knelt in the sunset and moon rise
Creating this carefully chosen form of Eden
As the sun rose and moon set her tears nourished
Her protege flourishing with the guide of her soul
Through blurred eyes I gaze upon her struggle
Unable to comfort her pain away as her life fades
Vines encircling my wrists gripping me steadfast
Her grown nature keeping me at a distance
To share your soul is to ensnare
With thickening barbs and thorns that pierce
These feelings take solidity when she cries
Skin yielding up to this solemnity remains
As essence seeps into the soil beneath
The beast wages an internal war to rip these binds
Being barred from her light's eminence
No force embedded can halt this flowing
Yearning to protect from this ebbing darkness we share
Screams tear up through the thickening silence
Realization begins to set in as the fog rolls over
Her eyes can no longer touch mine.
Have you ever stared death in the face?
Your eyes growing wider as he steps closer.
Pupils dilate as your day grows ever darker.
Sweat brewing on your brow,
even though the temperature has plummeted.
Your age finally catches up to you.
Say your final goodbyes to your family, your friends.
As your life flashes past your eyes, all the joys, all the hate.
Death has finally sought you out to bring you home.
Its the beginning of a new life.
I don't think what you said was right.
I don't think what you did is correct.
It's the beginning of a new life.
So many lies,
So many times,
You cant go back in time and undo the damage that is done.
Its the beginning of a new life
I dont think what you said was right
Its the start of a new life.
My heart has died
My soul is crushed
The tears won't stop but
Im done with the bull*****
Its the beginning of a new life
I don't think what you said was right
I don't think what you did was correct
Its the beginning of a new life.
So Imma let go Then stop the tears
Then say "Fair well" "Goodbye, My lover
What will be
I know of this, first hand
Your life was taken away
Till the day
My body dies
I am with you, again!
“How was I to prepare myself?”
That kind of
Life changing, event!
Didn't warn me
Were permanently leaving!
How much “I love you”
You will never be forgotten!
I don’t know
Has got into me!
I feel you
I see images
Of your face
Am I crazy
To believe in this, my love?
“Are you still with me?”
“Is my imagination
Playing cruel tricks
I talk with you
You were by my side, right now
In my heart and mind
Your face etched
Like a blue print
That never fades
Your foot prints
Still remain, beside me
My heart beats
Trying to make sense of everything!
Forgive me, my love
For being so strong in my feeling
For it has been a long time
Since I lost you, my friend
A mind of its own
To be with you, still!
To see you
To smell you
To touch you
To taste you
I want to say “Goodbye”
Once and for all!
The best and worst
In each other
Rivers run deep
When it comes to you and me!
We have had our fair share of fights and arguments
All of them
You cease to exist!
I miss your lingering touches
Your hand, stroking my face
Your big, blue eyes
Looking into mine
Your warm lips
Your rough, unshaven face
The way you
We make love, till dawn
All those nights
You kept me
Safe and warm!
“Am I ever going to feel the same, with another?”
In your arms, my love?
Do I let you go?
Do I set myself, free?
I am ready
To love, again!
‘Our eternal love’
In times, like these!
I followed you
And the bunny
Into this dark hole
But you were
Rushing to some place
That doesn't include me
To stay sane
I seen the mad hatter
I had become
I'm sorry but
I am not Alice
I held on. I took care of such a fragile thing. I took care to make it look and feel better. It was beautiful. It made me happy ......but it was such a fragile thing. ........one day a strong wind came and started whipping this fragile beautiful thing one way and then another. It was then I found it hard to hold on. But it was such a beautiful fragile thing.....I tried with all my might to hold on ....grasp it without ruining it. Holding on so not to loose it...but trying not to damage it either. The winds grew stronger and blinded me..distracted me and I loosened my grip for a second and this fragile beautiful thing slipped through my hands. I ran after it and tried in the storm to catch it. I watched and waited to see if the wind would bring it down. I stared and watched and waited patiently and the storm took the fragile beautiful thing and carried it. I watched and I waited patiently but this fragile beautiful thing disappeared into the storm. Later on the next day, I found what looked like this fragile beautiful thing....but it was nothing like it originally was. It was beaten and shaken. It had holes and I could not hold it together. No matter what I did. No matter how I tried I could not put it together again. And that beautiful fragile thing was now just a memory.-Tanya Carr
Begins with an end
You can no longer
Staring at the end of the hallway
The stained glass windowed is etched into my mind, woah.
Just another place to remind me
What we had is gone, long gone.
This was the house that got us through those moments
of insecurity and self hate.
You told me you would always love me, no matter what.
I realize now you didn't mean it, you didn't mean it at all.
You told me you loved me, what a lie.
You were the one. Mr. Right. Mr. Wrong.
Our relationship took a wrong turn, but I could get it back on track.
I always could.
Except this time. It was all too much.
Staring at the end of the hallway,
and that stained glass window that was etched into my mind is there no more.
Beside the fragmented pieces lays a stone.
The stone that shattered that window, and my heart along with it.
I loved you. I really did. I was ready to marry you.
You had other plans. That didn't involve me.
Now that stained glass window is gone.
This is far more greater a pain that was ever needed ,
The damage done long ago when it was seeded.
This hurt you planted deep within me ,
Has grown to a size that just shouldnt be .
Disrespect and neglect it means nothing to you,
For it is something you just will always do.
Love doesn't hurt like this it never could ,
The words mean nothing to you but they should .
Compassion and understanding is what love takes ,
If you want to live a love without heartbreaks.
Talking and listening go hand in hand ,
To love in this life as a woman and a man.
Im so devistated by the events of these days ,
Not able to to get you to ever change your ways.
How can I convince you that it is all a mistake,
And the pain and hurt I can no longer take .
Makes me never wanting to awaken again,
No matter even if it's Gods greatest sins .
My eyes have been
trying to tell
Look at me again
With your bold
underneath my skin
Pulling all that I
Moon causing tides,
Leaflets kissing the
By your peculiar
Touch me once more
By your hands like
Burning into flame,
And I'll be
Whether to refuse of
A lean on my back,
A graze on my
Speak another word,
For your voice was
On Sunday mornings
when my name was
and there's no other
And I, your favorite
Sing me the song you
used to sing,
That all to me would
And I'll stop
But if you already
have forgotten me,
If you've been tired
Do not give me
anything I ask,
I'm a star which
lost its light.
Twisted; you're a mystery
Unraveled; turned out a misery
Tangled; you're undefinable
Deciphered; near yet unreachable
Discovered; I love you
Ended; I watch you go
She turns up the music to hide the sobs
Blade meets wrist for a final encounter
Red tears come streaming, staining the ground as they fall
Silence encompasses the room despite all of the noise
I gently rise and harshly fall
I want to say I am done! I have had it.
But I can not
I won't allow me
My spirit won't allow me
I am still treading on, crunching forward, slapping past
This courage be? Will?
It hasn't been easy, for such that feels too much
and anger banks
One who doubts and sometimes responsible feels
Even though not a hand I had in the deal
I try to be everything for everyone, do they even see?
I worry about their worries, do they even know?
Understanding to the one who does everything
The best for the one who repeatedly reminds me of my womanhood
And therefore such house responsibilities fall.
Including to the one who takes and takes from us.
A shield to the ones who have to grow up and easy it has not been
And hardships they have found
Strong to the one who is strong, the one who pulls through no matter what
Who will not be defeated by life.
I say goodbye to you
My see-through marking prips
I have never liked you but could not be helped for one who feels so
I say goodbye to you troubles who twist and turn me
I say goodbye to wishes long time past
It is time to stand anew, renewed
Here comes the new journey and shoes must be worn
It is time for me.
The me that I want to be
The me that is!
I still love you
Buried six foot under
Life no more
Risking my heart
Everything, I have ever known!
Letting you go
Eighteen years of panache and tears
‘I Still Love You’
At a cross roads
Changes of initiation
Giving in, risking all
Trading this pain in
Making my heart whole
Know by saying goodbye
And, letting you go
Know, for an eternity
‘I Still Love You’
-Silence… … (Everywhere)
Colours are not colours today
Only dark shadows appear
Like a veil of grey being drawn over the world
A dark day is today-
I arrive at the house of the bearded man
Admittedly, he and I are not the best of friends
But today I must visit him
I push the wooden doors forward
They are thick and heavy
I use two hands
The day is wet
The wood is damp.
My thin black sole hits the marble floor
Like a perfect ice cube
It is cold and smooth.
My feet move one in front of the other
I am walking (I don’t know how)
The building and I
A forest of pews lay before me
Brown, old and cracked
It is a long walk
But I reach the end of the forest
And I sit
I am uncomfortable
I am alone
I stare at a long box in front of me
A box with chrome handles on the side
It is not like a box you get at Christmas or on your birthday
Such boxes are filled with surprises
But not this box
No – not this box
In minutes the box vanishes into blue velvet curtains
I watch as it disappears
It is gone
The box is gone
You are gone…
A jump a skip and a jig perhaps
I shall steel myself and I will
Dance on her grave
Mystery no forgiveness as time has passed
But my promise made and I will
Dance on her grave
An oath made as a wilful young man
Older now yet still and I will
Dance on her grave
Hello pretty girl its been such a long time.
Since I've seen your lovely face and the pleasure stil is all mine.
Often I have wondered rain and thunder on the coldest nights.
I see you in my slumber whispers mumbled from an older life.
I miss your pretty face there was a time my heart belonged to you.
The hardest challenge ive ever faced a place that split my heart in 2
Acceptance Is the answer and forever I will need you more.
This love is like a cancer eating slowly at my weeping core.
This pain I learned to hide it well buried in my broken soul.
My love for you will never die my heart is like a open door.
The touch of your whispers has blown through the air
And the wave of summer disappears in the sand
There’s nothing to stop these memories are gone
Let the playbook now rest for the feelings they’ve stopped
Slowly it turns the small hands on your wrist
The knots in your belly have clenched like a fist
You picture the east and close her eyes
For the dawn’s a coming in all of our lives
The night’s now bleeding forever it tilts
Circling the orbit no rest from the filth
Rivers are flowing and spirits are dim
And the skies from the ocean will always stand still
The pain from the east has moved to the west
These days are numbered just like the rest
Blind in the rivers the hand clears it away
The whole world has changed in less than a day
Rain filled clouds are what follow me now ,
No sunshine for me these days and smiles are not aloud.
My sight is blurry now and can't listen to what you say,
It was you who has caused this and why I am feeling this way.
Hold on tightly now It has been the ride of my life ,
But somehow it slipped away like a thief in the night .
How did I not see it so plainly writen on the wall,
Never in a million years did I expect to lose it all.
But here I am standing with my back turned away,
For I can not face the sadness you brought me this day.
Why has this happened to me and just what will I do,
Shell of a man in a life that was suppose to be spent with you.
It's over now and it's all becuase of you
I just cant see theres anything you can do .
Blinded by the love for you never a reason to doubt,
So quickly I learned howI will be going without.
The warmth of a love you brought to me ,
Now I will live without what was meant to be .
You were always a a part of the world I've grown to know,
Now that your gone the sadnees in my face will forever show.
These cloudy days bring me nothing but pain,
My life forever will be only me standing in the rain.
The is the happiest I’ve felt I don’t know what to say
Seems so real even though it must be fake
Maybe its parts of my past I don’t want to escape
Maybe it’s thoughts I just don’t want to shake
But the reasons for it don’t matter right now
As I’m in my bed and I lie down
I’m back at the day I was born
Parents looking over me. Saying they’ll support me through any storm
Saying they’ll always be here
So there’s no need for me to fear
Then they kiss me goodnight
And promise me that I’m going to live a good life
May parents are alcohol free
Sister and brother drug free
Just arguing over who’s in charge of the TV remote
Just how a family should be
Finally getting to know what love feels like
Rather than what it could be
Comfortable being myself
No guard up
Family there when I need there help
No self harm scars, I’m doing just fine
I feel some lips touch mine
They just happen to be Rebecca’s
We’re still together
And we never broke up
Not good at showing my feelings but I’m finally able to show enough
I’m playing football with my father he hasn’t died
I’m smiling and I haven’t cried
We kick the ball away
We sit talking while grabbing five
He simply told me “Son be the best you can”
“I’ll support you in whatever you do”
“I’ll always respect your plans”
So I go and tell Rebecca it’s true
I love you and there isn’t anyone better than you
I just hope you know it
Cause I don’t always know how to show it
She replies by giving me a hug and kiss
From my favourite lips
I hear a ringing damn it’s my alarm clock
This was in my sleep. My favourite dream or the impossible wish?
Why is it
I am always wrong?
I have always done?
Why is it
Never good enough
In your eyes
In challenging times?
How many times
Do I have to say
“I love You?”
What will it take
What can I say
That will ease
You feel towards me
Too much booze
Killing what brain cells
In that stubborn
Head of yours!
Will it take
To believe in me?
For I know
I am a fool
Staying here, with you!
Lost and lonely
When ‘we’ need to pull together
In union ship
This bond strong
'Uniting as One’'
'Love Conquering All'
“So, I am told!”
I love you more
Arguing and fighting!
You refuse to understand
The love I have for you
Tells me to stay with you
My heart knows
I have asked you
To be kind to me
I have asked
You to open up
Your anger and rage
Out of control
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Out for the kill!
I need to break away!
I need to clear my head!
I need to experience
Love and longevity
The one’s I love!
My heart needs to experience
My heart deserves the best!
Belong in my past
I am no longer the person
You once knew me, to be
Your inner demons
Than any of the love
You choose to acknowledge
Feel from me!
You can believe this
To be true
If nothing else!
“Love thy self”
Without personal gain
Your Primary Motive!
Be Love, in Action!
Have empathy now
I cut these cords
Of emotional bondage
Bind us together
I stand on my own
I have learnt the lessons
You have come to teach
I now know
What love isn't!
“I thank you”
For showing me this!
My illusions of love
Colouring my experiences
'I Wanted Us To Be'
He was a man of my dreams,
At my senior year
He smiles that made me laugh
He teaches until I master each lessons
He touches my hair
And then he shrugged
I fell in love.
But he disappeared,
All of a sudden.
He never came back.
I had this guy
While I was with number one
He was with in my parameter
Stealing each moment,
Like a thief under my shadow
I was broken
He collected me.
I broke his heart
He broke mine
He left me
I was dumped.
I still have this agony
And angst of revenge
But what can I do
He gave up.
He can’t live with me.
I am notorious
I wasn't the person
Out of my stress filled
Fast phased life
I received a call
A guy from the past
Has been looking for me for years now..
He finally found me.
He insists to go out that night.
It was dark and raining
But I went with him.
It was one of the best nights I had
To be with someone else
When I already belong to another man
I don’t have a ring yet
I went home 2:00 am
Happy and inspired
For the new spice that knocks into my door
I opened it
Just to find out
He went back to his country day after our meeting.
It was the 3rd time
I was broken.
THIS HOUSE, I HATE
YELLING AND SCREAMING
WANTING TO LEAVE
OH WELL, TOO LATE
THIS IS WHERE I NEED TO BE
ALWAYS FEELING TIED UP
YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING
TIRED OF FIGHTING
BLAH,BLAH,BLAH, THATS ALL I HEAR
YOU NEVER REALLY LISTEN
JUST GOES OUT THE OTHER EAR
LAY IN BED
WHILE I WONDER IN MY HEAD
WHAT SHOULD I DO
TO RUN AWAY FROM YOU
YOU GET ON MY NERVES
WITH ALL THAT I'VE HEARD
ALL YOU DO IS TALK
CANT WAIT UNTIL I WALK
WALK OUT THE DOOR
AND DONT COME BACK
I DONT NEED YOU ANYMORE
NO MORE ARGUMENTS
NO MORE PAIN
THERES EVERYTHING HERE
YET NOTHING TO GAIN!!!!!
The thousandth time rerun
The unspoken regret
Yet you stood
Like a statue of marble
Your eyes quiet
So shut down from emotion
So ruined by what you felt
Just an empty shell
She stood screaming at your face
The one that never left
The one that had your back
No matter what was ahead
The one, no matter how many times
You broke her into unfixable pieces,
Came back, trying to be sure
That you would make it
Taking no regard for herself
How many times did she quietly
Begged for you to come back
Not the emotionless monster you've become
But the rugged angel
That saved her from her own hell
Her body convusing from tears
You just turned and walked away
She tried to explain
You didn't listen,
She spoke in vain
She never wanted more
Than just the person you were
She just wanted someone
To love and miss her unconditionally
Of how badly she had fallen
How scared and broken she was
She stood speaking fact to you
She told you exactly
You didn't listen
You turned your head and shut down
She was trying to protect you
Didn't you see?
That's all she wanted
Was someone to protect
To be protected
To clouded to say no
You tore her once more
A I love you note
Before heinous deed
Didn't you feel guilty?
Not even a bit?
She gave everything she possibly could
Just to not be put on the shelf again
But pride clouded your mind
And she was placed right at the back
The person who never left
The person who chose to not see what you lack
She got tired
And decided it was time to stand
Time to shy her face away
From the evil heart breaking anger within her
So with some words said
And Some words left
To fester within
She ended it
She ended her personal sin
Masks under another.
Put it on, take it off, then another
So many masks makes it hard to
but take them off and something happens
They formulate. Evolve. humanize.
Now, sentient beings take over.
But. The only thing is. I alone can see them.
These sentient masks once stacked upon
the being of absolute certainty. Now
out and about carousing the streets with their
looks of aberration.
How many? ten? twenty? So hard to count.
This was. back then
Just. not now.
What are they then?
unseen, sentient, inaudible.
Just another mask under another.
Everyone has their ghosts.
Me, too many to count.
there is no end,
pounding to the
branches, roots, arms
cut from the limbs.
to fall from the almighty
disposing mountains flat,
an army to stampede
the grass was too alive,
must spread blocks
of solid nothing.
so the feet can forcefully
a machine to destroy
any patch that is promised
a machine to do
a machine to implode
all the seats are taken
but all still admire.
the saying extinct will
no longer exist,
only a man can project such
Clawing, scratching, screaming
A heart's endless scheming
Can you hear me? No!
Can you feel me? No more!
Do you see the pain drip from my eyes to the floor?
Remember my taste?
Oh what a waste.
I can't un-remember anymore.
Look to my hands, see their desire;
Choking out words to quell their fire.
Nails dig in and drag
Breaking a cracker's crack!
You never looked in only looked back.
Jump, dance, run, fall
I will some lifetime from now
Smash this wall.
Never again but that's not true.
I'll live this, the longest death
Every time I think of you.
God is calling my name as he knows soon
I'll be on my own, Searching for who I am
and where I belong.
I'm not as scared as I once was as I know
I have the support of my family and friends.
I belive my avalanche of love will help me
get by since I cant fly by myself.
Let it be known my house will not be full
of tears as of today, only a month away.
I'll become a stray waiting for someone
to take me under there wing and
love me once again.
When being awake
is hard and unbearable.
When in restless dreams
peace is fleeting.
What else is in there to live and hope for
if not only to be eager for your own demise?
The planks of wood may come and cover me
forwhy about this life I have nothing else to say.
Yesterday it was you and I,
Hearts and souls holding hands and conversing about tomorrow's gift for you and i,
Today you are gone, suffocating me with your reeking absence,
As a blink, my happiness has gone,
You took it all.
Left me nothing, but relentless, regret and bitter-sweet memories.
Moving on is a way of life,
Painful things shouldn't last this long, my happiness sure didn't.
I thought this was it, you and I,
As I was waiting for you to ripen, I had dreams for you and I,
Now they are gone,
Dissipated and disappeared; gone with the wind,
As your smell in the air, they have evaporated.
I hope you can look yourself in the mirror as you wonder why I am not next to you.
Another thorn in your crown
Or a thorn in your side
I find that I'm neither
I am that little voice
When you don't listen
The voice fades away
Not your conscience
but a mirror of understanding
When you don't look into the mirror
you can't understand, because nothing is reflected
only the background
Perception of what might be
I look back,
I see the love you had for me.
Slowly realizing it was an act.
My love was real,
at least it was in the beginning.
Now that I'm moving on,
you can't handle it.
I've made a change.
A change to better myself.
Now you can suffer all you want,
or you can move on like I did.
Lets part our ways
and act like civilized people.
What else is there to do?
Last night, my longest.
The dreary routine of sleepless nights.
Tossing and turning,
Wishing for could Be's,
Living off impossibilities.
A heart worn from loving you,
My body simply lifeless.
I gave you my prized possession,
That wasn't enough.
The warmth in your tone,
Makes my walls crumble every time you speak.
Your touch weakens me, Asthenia
My hands toughed from working for your love
My feet bleed from running after you
Chasing you, is like chasing infinity
So many walls to break down,
So many undealt with emotions.
Too many restrictions to get to you,
I give up.
Spiritual fire remains
Wind catches the remnants
Never to be fully brought back
Allow thyself to prosper
Or thou shall never be free
I gave you my heart.
I expected tender love and care,
But when I asked it back from you,
I knew it wasn't there.
For it had fled to another;
To someone that I don't even know.
We used to be so close,
But the distance started to grow.
I knew that once I heard of him-
Our spark would go away.
Then I started to think that it wasn't there to stay.
It simmered for a while-
Your love had filled a hole.
You and I both know;
That shouldn’t have been our goal.
Your heart is kept by vow,
You’re as lonely as you can be.
I tried to make you mine-
But you aren’t the one for me.
I thought I knew you
but then you changed
and then I knew you not
It wasn't a surprise
I had been expectant,
waiting, I was waiting
I knew we'd have to part
But I didn't know I'd cry
I didn't know you wouldn't care
I thought it'd be the other way around
you, holding your arms out to me
me, my back turned on you
I hope you're happy
I hope you'll be happy
I hope you never know that I am unhappy
Demon possession is seen through spiritual eyes
The clarity of it so transparent you see it with your eyes closed
To be told you have them is like a dreaded disease
The mere knowledge of it transforms you
Questions pour in yearning for answers
I am confused
But I pray with you?…… I pray for you
How do you see the evil in me?
My prayers do not suffice to your standards?
Am I raising my voice to the wrong god?
Am I praying wrong?
Show me the path oh ye of righteousness
Are you the chosen one?
Your abilities to spot the not amazes me
Your purity petrifies me
Knowledge of truth is embedded in your bones
The depth of your understanding surpasses all
Please do not dare lift your eyes towards me
For fear you might be disgusted and go blind
Do the others see the evil in me?
Am I stumbling them?
Am I making their pathway to righteousness narrow?
I am confused
I pray with you……I pray for you
I am trying to be near you
All you see is demons in me
It is painful to hear you say that
I am scared to pray
What if i….
I will gather the strength to look at you
To see your holiness
I am looking but… but….
I have heard of you before… Legion?
Curled in a ball
Not knowing what to do!
Knees against my chest
‘Soothing my soul’
Memories of you
Flooding my brain
Left as lingering whispers
Imprinted, upon my mind's eye
High light of my day!
Electrifying my nervous system
Jump starting my heart
For loving you
Pain is a virtue,
It heats our blood
As it runs through or veins,
No one sees
What we be
When the pain is just too much,
It locks us in a state,
Where no one can enter,
The door is locked
You need a key,
But the key is my blood,
You already broke my heart
So go ahead
And take that too,
Who knows maybe,
In the future
You may see, your past mistakes
And your hateful spirit
Be gone away
So many people I love.
So many people I've lost.
So many hurt
So many gone.
Bye bye for now, at least that's what I'm told, but it doesn't hurt any less when the people you love you no longer can hold.
Taken away to a better place.
See you soon!
So many people you've lost.
So many feelings inside.
Makes you wonder if it's okay to hide.
Just for a while. Away from sympathetic smiles. You'll be back soon. It'll be okay.
So many hurt.
Tongues don't know how to say the right things when their brain is pulled by so many strings.
Just go through the motions. You'll come back soon.
So many gone.
So many have left for that place and you're just here like 'see you soon, right?'
But you never know.
Where did they go? Where will I go?
But even still, so many here.
Maybe one day we'll see each other.
Hugs will be on the house.
Tears will stream, but different than before.
It once was an ocean of tears vast and never ending, but maybe with someone to help hug it out, it'll turn into a ocean with an ending.
So many to love,
So many to lose,
So many to heal,
So many to say bye to.
It's never over, but this is life.
So many four letter words that cause strife.
But for right now, the strife is all we see and when we get better (and have those free hugs we were promised) we'll see the joy they truly bring. We'll dance again, even sing. Maybe we'll be happy and smile up to heaven and say 'see you soon'.
To anybody that has ever felt
anything at all, especially you -
I ran my fingertips across the leather notebook on your desk
and I felt your thoughts crackling below my skin;
overflowing with cursive letters and lines that raced inside the walls of your
I wanted so badly for it to flip open, I could blame it on the wind I suppose.
I wanted to hear the pages flutter, to see them flip back and fourth
I wanted everything that was written in ink to shoot up in the air and cast itself
onto the walls of your bedroom,
I wanted your writing to burn the insides of my brain.
I wanted to open that notebook, but I didn't.
"How do you know when it's right" I asked you,
Laying on your bed and twirling your sheets in my fingers
"you'll know" you whispered
"look into his eyes, are they something you want to explore?"
I knew I should've been thinking of him, but I wasn't.
I was looking at your eyes, and I saw a glimpse of us in the backyard of the
summer of 02',
I saw bonfires with friends and laying in the middle of main-street at 3 am
watching the streetlights change, praying to god you wouldn't change too.
but you did.
I liked the way you talked about falling in love, like it was such a burden on you
but it was worth it. I liked the way you said her eyes lit up when she talked; like
she had a certain substance that was untouchable.
I liked the way your eyes lit up when you said it too.
I wanted to close my eyes and pretend like you were talking about me, but I
I laid my head in your lap and watched your lips move when you read me my
favorite story; you hated it, but you read it anyways.
You sighed at the literary in-corrections and cringed at the cliche love quotes,
and I smiled while you touched my hair and I wanted to tell you I was in love
with you then, but I didn't.
And I know you've read more novels than I can count,
and I know you've heard it all-
but this is to everybody that's ever felt anything at all, especially you
I never noticed stars until I saw them sparkling outside your pupils
and I never enjoyed music until I saw it flow between your hair from the back
seat of the car-all the windows open and my hand on your shoulder.
This is no john green novel but the way your scars decorate your skin instead
of deform it has always left a soft spot in my bones. i'm sorry I could never
look into your icicle eyes and tell you everything ive ever wanted was in front of
I've always wanted to
I've always wanted to
but I didn't.
Darkened were the nights
Oh were they cold
You had left me
Such a very long time ago
I cannot forget
The way you caressed my flesh
So tender, so loving
Alas! It is missed
The way we would sway
Barely licked by the flames of the bonfire
I could have stayed like that forever
Oh dear traveler where have you gone?
I know you warned you would leave
But yet my heart swelled with hope
What a retched thing now
For now I am broke
Your honey voice broke down my soul
You never gathered up the pieces
Now they lay cold
On the floor where you left them
Oh so many nights ago
I still look on the horizon
Praying for a glimpse of your face
On certain nights
I can feel your warmth
As if you were there
I fall to my knees
Whisper my pleads
Maybe you can hear
No matter the time that passes
I cannot forget the man
He revived my soul
Pulse of my heart
Stole my trust
Alas! For the traveler took so much more……..
I will wait for him forever on the moor.
I know writing that letter probably seemed stupid and childish to you.
You should also know you are the only person I have ever done that too, so it seemed pretty
stupid and childish to me as well.
But I had things to say and I was afraid to say them before.
I don't want you to like me or anything,
just want you to know that it is pretty ****ing impossible for me to like anyone after you were
Knock on the door
See who answers
Will you like
The face you see
Is it pain
Close the door
How do you feel
Lost and sad
Nowhere to go
What does it mean
It means you are walking out on me.
By: Tim Lundmark
Closing my eyes
Feeling the moment
No thoughts distracting me
Setting my heart free
Reviewing, learning, growing
Releasing the blame and guilt, I harbour
Releasing the things, I once thought I could change
Recognising good or bad
Right or wrong
A sinner I am not!
My mistakes, my greatest blessings
Living my life
Fires burning bright
Screams shatter the night
Could not put up enough fight
So your loved ones died
Hidden from your sight
With memories oh so bitter
I see your eyes
Looking so sweet
At that my heart skips a beat
Stopping softly I gives up
Wish I had your hand in mine
Give me strength to fight
Maybe then I would not have died
On that dark, quiet night
Shatter my soul
Watch me flee
Cannot take another breath
Before a scream escapes my lips
On this life
Your smile is why I even fight
So much control
You have over me
On my fears
You seem to feed
See my tears
Hear me whisper
I will wait
For you forever
On my lips
‘I loved you from that very first kiss’
She was caged in his mystery.
Just a glimpse into his soul;
And she saw the anger flow freely.
A father’s blood tainted
And with it came sorrow;
And with it came unspeakable torment.
There was not a person,
That felt the pain,
Its symptoms were distinctively his.
Whispers like the wind urged him to be happy;
As though condolences could take away the grief;
Each face was featureless, each apology was a fake.
She found him alone and broken.
Within him she saw helplessness;
It was masqueraded by a need to remain strong.
On his shoulders was the World,
The weight of which was becoming too much,
Knees bent from the pressure.
He looked at her and their bereavement was matched;
Both cold from the tears,
Both were searching for their escaped faith.
A child was taken at her word,
Lost amongst the other realms;
She had felt empty.
Her sobs at night were heard by none,
Ridiculed by her traumatizing decision-
He saw her standing outcast.
Their inward screams had echoed outward;
Only they could hear each other’s cries.
Drawn together in unity, a relationship formed.
They were never perfect for each other,
But their voids were filled.
They were very much alike, and yet so different.
They treated one another with disrespect.
It turned their love into rage;
This was followed by resentment.
Hands unclasped as their families pulled them apart,
Tears rolled from her eyes and his desperate struggle ensued;
He vowed to someday get her back.
He found himself anguished once more, as did she.
For who would hold her now?
How would he fall asleep?
They would move on as all lost lovers do,
But no other love could be the same.
No lesson as great as the one that they had experienced; together.
I’m sitting here another day.
I feel as if it’s getting late.
I don’t care what people say.
I’m not going to that place.
But then I hear your voice again.
It’s calling me but we aren’t friends.
There is nothing I can gain.
I’m tired of living with this shame.
I followed you around the world.
You called us lovers until the end.
But then you left just like the stars.
You tore apart my empty heart.
Yet now you sit here and call my name…
Do you really think you can send me pain?
I tried to give you a second chance.
You blew it, hell, you just would again.
People tell me I should move on.
But what is life when you’re gone?
I’m not saying I’ll take you back…
Just that living without you is worse…
Then having a heart attack.
So I’m just sitting here drowning in sorrow.
Though I might get better tomorrow.
Yet still your voice is calling me.
But don’t you get it, can’t you see?
I loved you my whole life.
But I would never agree to be your wife.
Skimming my lips,
you disappear in silence
a wakeful intensity of respect.
The wishes of my heart.
I find you are leaving me now.
A shadow of senses-
sight surrounding inner wealth
calling out for more.
Riding high- you have such grace.
Tears brim the surface
as I long to be the object of your desire,
we thought everything was fine
but in truth,
It was a story,
a small story that will never return.
Breaking your world slowly
into tiny pieces.
Can't seem to see tomorrow
through this black haze.
as the days go by.
Ripped apart by the hand of love
with nothing left to do but look.
(May 31st, 2012)
Time slips its bond to fall on outreached hands,
Gingerly seeping through fingers,
Grasping one last glance at the Grace that was;
When you last spoke,
Last felt the sun upon your face,
And smiled at the warmth of it.
Memories fade yet linger - waiting for no reason,
But to be for the moment, then replaced,
By din of present life once more,
Touching one last glance of the Grace that was;
When you last laughed,
Last felt the wind in your hair and
Lingered in the Brace of it.
J.R. Twaddell © Reprised 2011
I'll never have another
I simmer in the sound
of new age music
and read old love letters
as if they were lyrics.
I hum, then start to sing
those clichéd poems you wrote for me
behind the celtic violin—
all those forced and obvious rhymes
in a different way than before.
You really did love me
and I really did light up your life
like the sun, as you said.
But if only you knew
that the sun always sets in the west
like me, when I left for Alaska—
for a lonely
one room apartment
The sun stays for days
in the summer, here
but I'm still cold.
You are strange, yet familiar
Yet I see experience in your eyes
Tell me about yourself
Why do you do the things you do
One day you will love
One day you will hope
You now smile with disdain
But I have seen through your eyes
Life is set before you
Not a care in the world
No not one
Understanding comes from within
Yet you look outward
When will we talk
I know I have wasted my time
You now stranger than ever
I see your vibrant life
Yes I feel older in your presence
My wisdom, proven foolish
What will become of me
I am strange
My experience now foolishness
Me, there is nothing to tell
Why do I do the things I do
Because I love
Because I hope
My smile genuine yet sarcastic
Now look through my eyes
As we watch the sunset, the time has come,
We have to say our goodbyes already?
“It’s not “Goodbye,” it’s “So long,” for we’ll meet again soon.”
But the tears on your face fall steady.
I don’t want to let those times go,
For all we have are the memories,
But maybe we can live again with each other,
And unlock each other with the keys.
The train bell cries out, breaking the conversations of the people,
And it’s already time for me to leave you here alone.
“Don’t worry, just be happy, because,
I’ll be waiting for you, standing like stone.”
How you make everything positive, when we have to separate,
To me is a mystery.
But it’s making me feel better about this,
I know you’ll come back to me.
Before we met, there was a huge world out there,
I was just so afraid and nervous to step out and explore.
But when I met you, everything was okay.
You helped me see more.
But we’ll be together once more,
And I’ll wait for that moment to come.
Even if we can’t come back together, please call me,
I know it’s quite a sum.
I wave to you,
From inside the Orange Line,
Blow a kiss,
To give you a sign.
I love you.
This is the end
I saw the look on your face it was one of dismay.
I seen that you seen I knew this relationship was over.
No more happiness,no more joy.
All gone with these last words.
This is the end.
Goodbye is a hard word , it's over is just a tail
So long can't make amends.
This is the end.
Get a taxi.Or take a bus.
Just go anyway you want.
Close the door just don't damage it.
As it hits you in the end, you'll be gone.
So now I can say. THIS Is The END!
The day came, just like expected.
He had finally left her for someone else.
Many days and nights, she cried for hours,
Wondering just how she would make it without him.
As she went to bed alone, that night
She finally realized, her life had been destroyed
Feelings, were completely numb,
Nothing left in her heart, but a big hole.
She didn't think she'd ever be happy again.
She had a rough road ahead of her now
Wondered if she ever could trust another man again.
As she laid in her bed, that night.
Super Quickie- 16
© Melanie . All rights reserved, 9 hours ago
I remember when I stood on his feet dancing
I remember seeing his face on my birthday every year
He stopped showing up before half of my life started
His smile became a distant memory
The way he held me faded
The gifts he bought me didn't cover the pain
His phone calls stopped coming
We moved. My mom told him the new number
He never called until one day...
He asked to see me
I screamed NO!
Ever since then,
The phone never spoke
I put up a wall from him
I learned to never let anyone in
The scar formed in my heart.
The first crack was made
I've been hostile, rude, nasty, and unresponsive ever since..
So thanks for leaving and never returning..
I will never let you in my life ever again
When I walk down that aisle and stage,
You won’t be there
To: all of those young teenagers without their father in their life... I've been there too
What! A divorce? Why?!
What do you mean
you want to move on?
Do you want to break up
this marriage of 25 years?
Now...after two teenagers at home?
What do you mean
you need more space?
You live in a mansion
for Pete's sake.
What? you want to do your things,
Meet new people,
See new places?
Well, who's stopping you?
You have been pretty much
on your own all these years;
And here, I have been slogging
like a donkey 24/7/365
making more money than
you can find ways to spend.
I knew not when
our kids grew up,
I worked hard,
Day in and day out,
so you and kids can live
a life of comfort and luxury.
Now, you wanna leave me? Gee!
And take half of MY blood and sweat?
Nah, not even a dime!
No sirree Bob. Nope. Nada.
As long as I am alive,
Not a thing. Not a chance. Zero!
I'll fight tooth and nail;
Only over my dead body!
P.S.: Millionaire John Doe was tragically killed
in a single car crash apparently of brakes failure.
He's survived by his wife and two kids.
The tent of Autumn is wet,
Nights as dark as creosote,
Days that fall like
Mother apples which bruise
With cold sweetness.
The impending conspiracy of
Frost;Laburnums stripped to
Bare frames, each fox pulled
By the neck into the
Hedgerows.Let go, curled leaf,
You are tired and dragged with sleep,
And can not look the snow away.
You make me want to give up on things
Motivational purpose, lost.
Somewhere, someplace it’s gone.
I refuse to share.
I refuse to speak.
I refuse to listen.
Just tender wishes and thoughts.
I think they call them memories.
I just wish you the best.
I’ll just walk away.
Now, loveless romantics
With only sadness in our eyes
A fresh new hole
In our hearts
Without each other
Being by each other’s side
I am trying not to think about you
Though images of you
Still haunt me
Flooding, my mind
I hear the sound of your voice
Echo through the air
I see you ‘smile’
I can smell you, everywhere!
And when I watch the stars
Light up the sky at night
When I stroll the streets
Without you by my side
I watch lovers enjoy each other’s company
Reminiscing about ‘you’
I still feel the beating of our two hearts
Even though you are gone
Goodbye, almost lover
Thank you for making my heart warm!
Storm clouds in the sky
Gathering in her eyes
She knows what he's doing
Nothing can save him now
She waits for him
Looking out the window
With a twelve gadge on her lap
He won't know what happend
When he walks in the door
It will be the last time
As the shot rings out in the night
With the cry of the thunder
No one will miss him
She sure won't
He can't hurt anyone anymore
As she moves away with a since of revenge
Morning comes over the roof.
Beams of energy traveling the annals of time
A relentless journey to rest upon my face.
Subtle at first, like the sly fox in pursuit of the hen
Heat builds that burns the dew of a new day
Flowers stretch out their pastel arms
Picking atoms like pollen that stimulates the pistil
Refreshed, shaking off nights cool grasp
I am new, reborn, never to be heard or seen again
Like a child gleefully sliding down the snowy mountain
A grain has slipped thru its lustful form
Looking up, showered in kin
Reunited with deceased ancestors, death is accepted
Hark, in the distance where the sky meets earth
The soft glow of love breaks!
Its time to face the truth croons the singer on the radio and I die
Curling up in to a ball pulling my hair out and screaming
Because I know this to be true
I will be there again when it snows and snows
I will be there again if you call
I will be there again if you whisper out my name
In the eyes of my memories you're beautiful
In the breaths I stole with my camera you're beautiful
Across these lips that will never touch yours again you're beautiful
I thought I heard you call out my name tonight
But I knew you weren't home
In the cold under the city lights beneath the blanket of night
What if it was you I think now as I linger
But you weren't home
I wish I had turned around
To see you standing there in the gently falling snow
But I thought you weren't home
I have lost sleep tonight and I may never sleep again I fear
Because I don't know what to do
I don't know where to turn, where to go
So that I may, I might,
Dream of your smile and your eyes across my soul
You're so beautiful,
I let slip this pen from my fingers
Staining these last few lines I know it to be true
And I don't really care about that now
I will never be with you I know, I know...
And this is the truth I must learn to face
Falling in utopia of love
Mesmerized like a dove
People hate you move
For you are not yourself
Why? Why? Why?
That’s my question to you
I started like a joke
Blended like culture I was
The traps are hard to evade
You say to me that
My brother from another mother
Hate is what it turns to at last
Best friends make worst enemies
Love is no joke
People get it wrong
To this monster slaves they become
Come back home
Bachelorhood is our style
Once I was a ruthless brother
A wounded buffalo I became
Every hole I poked my horns
I tell you
There is more danger in the brotherhood
But I blame no one
It was not their cause
This is my cross
Heavy it is and the mountain is rough
But I have to match
Nothing I will say
My other friends will learn from you
You’ll die poor and rich
Poor of love
Rich of sorrows
Love is no reach
But smoke and mirrors painted illusion
Go on boy
If the road becomes dark and unbearable
I hope I’ll have a place to call home
For the sake of our good days
Why tread along if you know the dangers
For you have the waters right here
K is always a constant
Bye my brother
I must do this alone
If I find happiness I know you will follow me
That you will never get
Only the one up there knows
God of love is only a name
Let me go and know that for sure
Dear Former love,
This is my last letter to you.
You have made me blue just one too many time.
I can't sleep thinking of all the heart aches.
This is the only way.
Goodbye and good luck for this is my last letter to you.
Time is the enemy,
leaves broken dreams
scattered like dead leaves on the path behind us all.
Time is the enemy,
reaches into our souls and tears out
that which makes us whole.
Time is the enemy,
steals away our smiles
and reasons for laughter.
Time is the enemy,
I punch in the face
and chortle anyway.
Time is the enemy,
I fight day to day and win
every morning that I wake...
All we talk about
is death. We see it
on TV as casual as
empty death, non-heros
suddenly vanished from the script.
We don't live with histories,
only empty-eyed stories.
We say goodbye with
and finger flicks. Blood
is a decoration
that entertains us with
seriousness. We know
how goodbye is a joke
we needn't really tell.
The pain would not leave
It haunted me
Showing me what might have been
Killing me with the images
Tonight I have had enough
I am giving up
No longer can I take it
The pain of your absence
Tonight there is no moon
It is silent and black
My eyes are filled with tears
Tonight I will see you
Be in your arms
Feel your breath on my skin
Tonight I get to die
I smile to myself silently
As the coffin lid shuts.
Woman, the freshness breath,
Untouchable lips as they have been caught up
In fine pleasant date from a summer park
So how many hours I made love to my German girl?
From the peeping movements of a rainy day
To a cricket of the existed morning’s commute!
I love you
Among the trail of a ring
Your mighty body I smelled, and the stretching kisses
From the Truth, which in such delight
I carry you, and between the streams
As if there is no tomorrow
I take you as the night has done upon us.
O, I love the whispering of you dying smile;
The narrow space you and I create facing down the hot sand;
O I love the breathlessly moment, your dead eyes over me
In which it well might open in a way of brutal still.
Yes, I love your sweet sweating, your smell;
The glories of heavenly climax, and then, all so quiet turned away
That nectar one hundred miles keeps me awake.
Different girl every night.cause i can't be with the girl i wanna be with every night
you're the one i love.these other girls can't even compare
i can see them by my side
but i can't feel them there
i'd try,change,work and fight for you
these other girls won't even buy them flowers
i'd be there any day or night for you
these other girls won't even give them a couple of hours
i remember when you said you wanted to be with me
i fell for you on your first day present
i remember i even sold my PS3
just to buy you birthday presents
we were so happy for a while
but things just didn't feel right
i still tried to smile
cause i never wanted you to leave my side
how could two people so right for each other
be wrong together
right people wrong time
and it's gone forever
i apologise we couldn't be friends
i didn't have the strength to do it
at the time i hated you for breaking my heart
and couldn't forgive you for what you did
but rebecca there's a place in my heart
that will forever be yours
saying goodbye and letting go was so hard
but i hope you're happy and find everything you're looking for
Mournful silence in which they cry.
The union that has left them cold.
The remnants of a lie that sold.
Did we head into this deal blind?
Can we say we weren’t of right mind?
Broken, crumpled; before your eyes.
Collateral to your self –demise.
All the things you did not see.
Until they forced a mirror to thee.
Did we think of one another?
Can we say we that you’re my lover?
No answer? Nothing left to say?
I’m sorry my dear.
This time I didn’t come back.
I’m sorry. Please hear.
We shared so much of life together.
I can't believe your gone.
You looked so beautiful
on my wedding day..
in your burgundy chiffon.
I wish I could tell you
one more time..
that I love you ,hun..
I will miss the time..
we spent together..
we had so much fun.
Your sweet sweet smile..
Your warm embrace.
I guess I'll just..
have to face
You're gone..you're gone.
You picked up that drink..
and drove that car.
You probably thought you..
I woke in the morning..
to a terrible news..
that you lost your life.
I'll miss you my dear.
I'll make you proud..
as you look down
from the heaven's gates.
I will miss your touch.
Your big brown eyes..
and all our luncheon dates.
Please know in your heart..
You could have called me.
I would have given you a ride.
Now life's a mess..
I just have to stress..
You shouldn't drink and drive.
I hope your at peace..
I long for your touch.
It's crazy your not here.
Remember my friends
on putting down that beer.
Last but not least..
Please take the time..
before you drink.
Cause life can be fair..
If you handle it with care..
Cause life without you will stink.
Standing at platform 5,
And falling apart.
People get by
They just get by
It's sad to think;
I told my parents about you
I wrote songs about you.
I think you spoiled the last our goodbye when you cried. Now I'm tied . And people they just get by .
Sickness clutches at my stomach,
The feeling of abandonment grabs at my heart,
Tears welling in my eyes sting,
Threatening to break the bridge,
Between sanity and losing face in this crowd.
Creatures surround me, noisy, buzzing in my ears,
Unable to make out their sounds - I ignore myself.
Echos of the words I once whispered so sweetly,
The glass shatters my reality,
Eyes blinking like old snapshots,
War zones flicker black and white on the screen, silently,
The symphony plays a melancholy tune,
Reminiscing death and love in the shadows of life,
I stare, empty holes of blackness, boring into the walls,
Blank - Hello? No one is home,
I respond to a call sounding from no where,
I talk to myself, answering sentences never said,
Wreckage surrounds my chair shamelessly,
Broken bottles and trash lay upon the stained floor,
Cluttered the room is small,
Growing horrendously large before my eyes,
Crying for the scene before my masked face,
Tears stream, from my eyes,
I scream, wiping them - red liquid marks my fingertips.
I am sliding away, tripping like pink, dying in my lone room.
The glass slips from my grasp spilling my life,
White scars show against yellowing nicotine.
The door knocks, It yawns at me, then turns viscious.
The room turns on me, leaving me a puddle,
The shadow of a being I once was,
Help, my words silent in my head.
Longing for you
Is slowly destroying me.
poison seeping into my heart.
I feel too much
And know too little
It is slowly killing me
Though it should not
My heart is over ruling
My head this time
Leading me down
Paths I must no travel
Leaving me bereft of courage
Filling me instead with doubt
Of my own ability
To let go and possibly
In the dead of night
Dreams already dare
Eery silence fills
The dark casm
Soon to be unbare
In the dead of night
Little girls start to fight
Against dark claws
Bars holding them tight
Suffocating what must be
In the dead of night
Trouble starts to stir
With hasty heart
And nervous hand
Little girls start to plan
In the dead of night
No sound no sight
A small figure
Moving swift and fast
Begging not to be held back
In the dead of night
Cold chills reach
What little girls dream
Fades into dull dead desolation
In the dead of night
A passion grows
As little girls
Starts to think of what could...
What should be
In the dead of night
With courage scratched up
Little girls find
What is not theirs to be found
A sick addiction
To freedom of action
The choice be chosen
Run into the open
In the dead of night
Second ticking by
Cold blue eyes stare
At what they shouldnt bare
Only to find
Little girls that hide inside
Dying to run
Dying to see
Darkness bares freedom
Soon to be
In the dead of night
It will all come together
The freedom little girls seek
Will be found
On a cold dark wet street
With only instinct to guide
Where little girls want to hide
With the total cover of black
Consequences ready to bear
Run and dissapear
I love you, it is a simple truth....
But I can no longer allow myself to need you, too often this has lead to hurt
I love you, your name has been carved into my heart....
But I can no longer allow myself to desire you, too often this leads to disappointment
I love you, my heart sings at the thought of you.....
But I have to learn to quiet the music, because dancing alone just isn't the same
I love you, I will always love you....
But I have to change what is, because what was.. is gone
Love never dies, no matter what some will tell you...
It simply changes, need and desire lessen, passions quiet, and acceptance for what is becomes more then what was......or might have been....
Acceptance is often the hardest step on this journey....
By impulse I'm here.
Fantasizing of the creature in front of me brims the edge of my mind.
Slow to touch, fingers tremble like the knees of a new born deer.
The impact of your powerful scent turns my stomach into a cage of
Releasing my deeper affection onto the lips of my favorite guy. How
intriguing to comfort the warmth resting between us.
Distance seems to be between the eyes yet we touch noses. We don't have
the same vision. Yet we're still holding...
On to what we imagined was there. Like Saying goodbye to that summer
Turning our backs on what we thought would last forever.
When I fly you will stay behind.
I will be far away from you.
And you will spend your time on foolish things but as for me you will see me no more.
I'll be walking through that opened door and I wont turn back again.
"Good-bye old friend" Is what I'll say to you.
Until we meet again this shall be the end.
i wonder if those cackling coyotes
hiking the surrounding fields sound
anything like Hell, well, i sure hope not.
Hell would be a terrible place to be.
still, i feel and fill with remorse.
it’s the middle of November and
it’s ruthless Ohio with her revenge.
with the love of fall beneath her
and the sparkling of frost in her hair,
beginning in the morning under a
fingernail clipped moon and too
far away stars and few headlights,
ohio offers her lullaby here, now.
scraggly pups made of fur and bone,
calloused paws to a calloused ground,
tough like old brick and new cement
and an icy pitch bark that bites back.
people are being pulled from these
pages that used to keep me wide awake
but now only keep me sad and conscience
in the too broad daylight in clean clothes
reading things too keep me soul sick,
to correlate with groggy afternoon insanity
that is not like tonight’s cold but like a
burning city, with me, standing—waiting
at the pier with the commotion of some
kind of humanity bleeding from the parks,
avenues, alleys, clubs, bars, and markets
but i only see the smoke and hear the clamor.
the rest is made up i suppose,
and my heart in the other senses.
but it is too true for those
coyotes in that cold and
i dare not let them in.
I hate how you're always on my mind
Invading every thought.
You're in everything I do,
You are everywhere I go.
Can't play the radio
Every song about us
They sing about love-
The happiness, the pain.
I hate how I remember exactly how your day goes
The time you wake and shower
Your work, your path
I hate that I can picture every detail of your space
The place we'd sit to laugh and talk
The smells, the sounds I can't erase
I hate the memory of your touch
The feeling of your bed
Your smell your taste
The love we’d make.
The hammock, that tree
A gentle evening breeze.
So close together,
My favorite place to be.
I hate the words you said to me
"You are my one, my baby,
God, please never leave me"
How I felt so loved by you each and every day
With words and music
A funny line
You always found a way.
The house we dreamed of
By a quiet lake
Two dogs, a porch
Together we would wake.
I hate it all
Every minute every day,
I hate how with ease you walked away.
I hate the days I miss you, the days I cry.
But I love you still tho you said goodbye.
A thousand kisses never touched
A million touches never felt
Endless feelings never returned
Three words never said
The water splashed upon the shore. Your heart it ran from he who adored. Life and love fade fast fast fast. The boat is sinking head held high. The waters rise, the air grows thin. Weight be heavy drag my skin. Goodbye.
I used to dream of loss like rhyme.
Of what great notion we must define.
Truth relies like rise demise and notions of enterprise.
Then of shores as time erodes alike, and leaves no questions within insight.
So dust we are until we realize, our place in space much more concise.
So let my soul depart amongst the tide, and forget the time I let the hurt subside.
Bleed within the heart that's mine, and let the tide reside intwine.
Sleep forever in this great slumber, and know not what in time to wonder.
what was once green
is now vacant of colour
the sky that was blue
is now cloudy and grey
the flower that blossomed
is hidden forever
no wishing for change
will bring back what is lost
the world we once knew
is now covered in frost
say goodbye mountains
say goodbye streams
the world we once knew
exists only in our dreams
So dream all you can
and imagine what you will
for there is no other way
to see the world that is now decayed
i can see you even though your miles away
i can feel your smiles in front of my face
i feel my spirit inside me
i feel your lies deciveing
i feel my spirit leaving me
every tear you cry
every time you beg to die
i cant help but think its all a lie
if our love wasnt true
what else is there to see threw
pain last a life time
this one thing is true
me loving you
and you hateing me
is one pain i will live threw
i desereve this world
i desereve loneliness
why did you rip this from my chest
why dont you just put me to rest
all i have is regret
all i have is hate
i guess one year is too long to wait
i wasnt there when you needed
i guess any man is better than a empty bed
to far gone
you only lead me along
you stabbed me in the chest
and straight threw the back
one year shows everything he lacked
leave me here
lay me down and stab me threw the back
what you took from me and gave to him is something
that will never ease your pain
for my blood
and my quievering veins
is something that still remains
and you will never consume this side
you where never good enought for sucide.
We have shared so many things
laughter tears and pain
Loneliness and lots of love
even kissing in the rain
Having dinner at the Bistro
at a table just for two
Sipping our margaritas thinking
I was falling in love with you
Your gentle hand in mine
made us both forget the past
don't know the reason why
it just wasn't made to last
Both of us had lost someone
maybe it was just too soon
To be raptured by the moonlight
even though it made us swoon
I know the tears will flow
it will be a sad good bye
Both will go our separate ways
Knowing that we really tried
Guess we weren't ready
to make this our final call
Perhaps we were both just looking
for the softest place fall
Slowly, slowly we’re slipping away.
We’re losing sight of who we are together,
of what we can be.
We’re losing each other.
No matter how hard we try, it doesn’t stop.
This ship we’ve built up for so long is sinking to the bottom of a deep and dark, cold abyss.
The truth is, we’ve been in this sinking ship for a long time.
We keep hoping that all the holes can be patched and they eventually do get just that, patched.
A little cover over all the pain and depressions in our small ship.
But the patches don’t last,
soon they fall off and deteriorate as if the problem was never resolved.
Before we know it,
we start becoming submerged in the icy water of what is the end.
And there’s no way to stop it.
We can’t pretend like the demise of us isn’t knocking at our door.
We can’t act like everything is okay,
put on a brave face, and smile.
No, we can’t because everything isn’t okay and the demise is indeed standing at our door.
Love isn’t enough anymore to keep this ship afloat.
We try and try and try and we constantly fail and fail and fail.
It doesn’t matter how much we want this to work out,
how much we want for us to succeed.
We can’t push something that doesn’t exist anymore.
Do we even know how to be together anymore?
How to act around each other?
Do we even care if it ends?
You say, “We both have to overcome our fears for this to work out.”
Yet, everyday it’s a constant marathon of trials and tribulations on our relationship.
Everyday it’s the same thing,
it’s never different.
In reality, we’ve grown apart and we’re trying to fit together fragments of what was.
Those last couple of weeks that we were together did destroy what was,
what could've been,
and what could be now.
So we’re slowly, slowly sinking.
Skin and bones,
And the muscles straining---
I'm sorry, brother,
For your painful self-loss.
The eyes that had
The spark, silver-blue,
And the smile that held
Your life---drained now.
The silver ran down
Your ghost-thin cheek,
And you said that you were tired.
You lay back,
Like a fragile bird
With a body too heavy
For its wings;
Your breath was like a butterfly,
Your empty eyes, that last night,
Searching first, gradually still,
And you said that you were tired.
I had never seen you so pale,
Never witnessed the final hours;
I had expected it would come
With sweeping dramatics,
With sudden gloom,
But it was soft; it crept
Nestled close, and whispered
And, in the end,
You smiled, and accepted---
All you said, that last night,
Was that you were tired.
Wash away my hopes
Wash away my dreams
But one thing you would never take away from me is the way I grieve
I work at my own pace
Don't try to make me go faster
I'm just a child which you cannot lather
like soap or like lotion
Within my soul holds alot of emotional devotion
I will still carry on
Even though my soul couldn't
But still in the back of my mind I'm thinking I shouldn't
Let me grieve, just let me grieve
I don't know if I believe in fairy-tales,
Ooh baby, not after you and me.
They use to seem like they were real,
But I think you've ruined that for me.
How can I trust in something,
When the cover is bare and the pages burn and tear,
As if my touch were lightening.
Our binding comes undone,
As if we were just blank sheets,
Not the novel or romance we thought we should be.
My heart breaks at the thought,
That maybe we should put this to a stop.
But I don't want to see either of us hurt,
Not anymore, I'm tired of this chapter,
I loved you, every page and every line,
But this doesn't seem to be the right story for my life.
the things that ive became
i guess i spoke to early and belived i was the blame
if you could only see what i am today
this world has ****ed with us
and torn us worlds away
cut us limb by limb and throw our hearts away
you buried a secert
that cant be harmed by lies
can you hear my cries
im so silent so hollow so fraguile
i might as well be a glass
i look at you sooo full
now i know the truth you where
empty just like me
can you hear me know
my belife and beliving
my love that keeps me sane
i know you drilled this in my brain
but all that's left is feel is pain
is love in vain?
The one who wanted a Love from his dreams
Went to deep in the fight for the right to be King
As he rose so high to the castle in the sky
To his surprise The Lord was not inside
Only a sickness that estinguished his flame
And took the Dream he had
Right out of his name
The Nighttime Daydreamer
Was taken by a plague
As he could no longer
Find his peace in the day
They all watched him fade
As his Love disappeared
Becoming The Darkness
That he had beaten through the years
He just sat helplessly
And watched his heart break
to mask his growing pain
He followed the white snake
Right back into the Garden Of Eden
But there was no Eve
For The Darkness had decieved him
Right into a deadly temptaion
He had no escape
There was only one way in
To succumb to The Darkness
Which he ultimatly became
that was how The Dreamer Of Nighttime died in name
For he could dream no more
He was now a monster he called Darkness
The night his Love walked out the door.
There in little tidings packed in ribbon,
among the oleander I set beside my notes,
she sung no as well as no can be said,
or sung, with wording I can never reproduce.
The parcel with its ribbon, an honest thing,
undoubtedly, did not know itself and its
long words, but me
am all creation from cell to symbol
obstructed by its very gaze, held a hand
I do not own, nor wish I did and said no,
sweetly as perfume haunts the fleeting scent of more.
No; no bell to toll, no Faerie land awaits,
the eglantine is paper thin and folded
in a page beside the oleander.
The tales, all Chaucer, Joyce, Dorsey,
Keats, swim with the shelved shore of mind for comfort
until, like all good eventuals
I am with her no, a bottomless no,
sent with ribbon and retracted lips.
Everything I feel can be summed up in words.
Today you read
This character you have made of me
inside your mind
a Visual of what I may look like
My intentions you have peppered with doubt
But I am more
I am the person drinking my breakfast tea at dawn
and humming melancholy to the still of the night
still, it is this character that you read
bits and pieces of me that I mask
and who were you angered by?
when you've never seen my eyes?
Tomorrow, yes, tomorrow
There will be no more words here to see
Just a memory of a character you made up in your head
of someone who cared for you
Peppered with doubt
as I steep my tea
yet I am more and less than what I had become
The world as we know it
Has not come to an end.
It has just faltered,
Because, my friend,
We have altered
The world's living organisms.
It was predicted that
We would one day die,
But, many of us look upon that day
Others panic for they don't know
The true meaning of this.
We all die
on our own time.
You are so messed up
you have no flaws
I am looking hard
I am looking really hard
Because I can't like you
You must have flaws
but somehow they don't exist
Stop it! just STOP THIS
It's almost as if you came
strait from my writing
I wrote it before I met you
and here you are
If I could create a perfect human without even meeting you;
it would end up being you
but you are gone.
so I can't like you
...you must have flaws
because no one is perfect
I love you
Sinking deep and deeper still
Feelings of weakness becoming my will
In search of answers
To questions I'm too afraid to ask
I look to the future
But can only see the past
Such a strong connection
Or so it once had seemed
But you grew too impatient
To let me catch up to speed
Out of breath
I stopped to rest
And without even noticing
You kept right on going
Suddenly the abandoned
I pined for you, my companion
Satisfaction turned to sadness
My hopes trampled and flattened
I stayed here waiting for you to return
I waited and waited
And endlessly yearned
Alone I sat in my place of repose
Wondering where all the years
continued to go
I waited so long
I became part of the scenery
Blending into the background
It's as if no one really sees me
And as each eternal moment
Fades into the next
I long for you, I long for your love
And sometimes I long for death
It would have to be better than knowing
You could so easily leave me behind
Without even telling me you were going
And giving me a chance to say goodbye
Dance if you will. Come slither upon my feet,
Delightfully disguised as tragedy
You still race to my conscious like
Bubbles in fresh poured champagne.
In rest, you’re a candlewick dripping slowly
Pulling down my shade,
Offering a sweet aroma and a warm glow-
Which still wafts though my gallows.
Where I hang;
My sins betrayed me.
The sincerity in my transgressions
Was vague, like a whisper,
That still haunts me
If ghosts can be haunted, or heard.
From my cobblestone to my grave,
Where truth is only as sincere
As my Mother’s good night kiss,
Or her prayers by her bedside still,
Where I now kneel
Coinciding in breath,
Dear Anna: Kyle’s P.O.V.
Left you in order to save you from me.
I warn you that I was poisonous?
Doesn’t overpower your need for a better life.
Be with you would only hurt you more.
You a chance to heal your own scars.
Deserve better than the broken parts of me.
Leave me in the dust and move on.
I buy a train fare.
Leave it all behind,
Love, pain, fears, smiles
It hurts, but I do it.
City after city…
But at the same time…
I feel euphoric….
Why does leaving you and San Francisco…
Give me a renewed sense of…
Daddy’s No More
Anger is the virus that devours at our soul
Inevitable we will be alone
I reach out for the sense to belong
The house is quite everyone is gone
An unnerving sense of sadness runs up our leg
Alone at last! He shouts his victory dance
Regret and tears run down his cheek
Searching rooms hopeful to hear a voice
The anger left them no choice
He collapses on the stairs clutching his memories
He feels no remorse
He longs for a hug
Daddy’s no more
By: Tim Lundmark
It’s hard to let go of a love
So pure and unconditional
That only kills you and surrounds you with
You give but never receive they take till they leave you
There’s an echo where your heart used to be
As you cry you hold your chest as if to feel something there
But he took it all
Tears streaming down your eyes
Now you don’t have a choice but to let go
You have lost your sense of reality
The person who once gave you balance now mocks you
And you lay there with tears still in your eyes
Thinking how could love so pure
Can cut so deep……
Long Days ( for Kate )
I measured the time between breathing
I counted all the days that you were leaving
Long before you had gone
Saying goodbye without a word
Warning me in a silence I never heard
And the days are not endless
But no-one remembers
How the hours could fly
Counting every second as they passage by
Before the days grew long
And before you “never” said goodbye
Did you measure the time of a life time
Pithless and fickle in your own soul
Already seeing the days when you would not be mine
And were these words behind all your kisses
He still misses me,
And the days are not countless
But days still no-one remembers
How through every hour I could try
Not to count the hours as they pass by
Before the days grew long
And before you “ever” said goodbye
I never thought in my strength I would find my weakness
Vacant spaces left so defenseless
Broken on the back of every sunrise
I look in the mirror and all I can see are your eyes
Musing and bemused on loss
And the days are not faceless
Just full of faces that no-one remembers
Even though my soul knows my heart can fly
It lays wingless and it just won’t try
To elevate the dreams passing
In these days that grew too long
Before you said goodbye
And one day you may wake up and try too hard to forget my name
Might look in the mirror and feel the same
It maybe a smile but you will wonder why
Why it is your heart can’t fly
And on that day your strength will become your weakness
And the past will become so completely nameless
Saying goodbye without a word
And leave you in a silence that you never heard
Counting all the hours that have passed us by
Before that day grows far too long
You’ll question why you ever said goodbye
When I think “next time I’ll”
And realize there will not be a next time,
A pressure pain twists my head a notch.
A mistake unfulfilled by repetitious learning.
A twinge says: if there is a next time,
You will err next time.
And if you err next time,
And you happen along the same path again,
Under mostly the same circumstances,
Then you will learn for good.
But that’s the small lesson,
And so see it now.
Perhaps you repeat the mistake.
Think of the larger fracture
The event that lent your mistake.
Can you spot the break?
Point it on the print-out.
Were it an x-ray,
Would you worry malpractice?
You may get a call six-months time:
Misdiagnosis; there was no break.
Take off the smelly, itchy cast.
Hit the showers.
But in the amnesia,
Recall your other half.
Admit to guesswork.
Think how seldom you trust speculation.
The rational one
Stroked it off easily this time.
I threw out all of you
smashed all the CD's
trashed every sweatshirt that smelled of you
ripped up diary pages of admiration
letters and pictures burnt
only ashes that can't say 'I love you' anymore
and then you wanted me back
but I'm not going dumpster diving
Washed up on the beach
Sand wet against my face
Grit covering my soaked gown
Tasting the salt in my airways
Trying to pull my body up
From the sludge left by the tide
My arms weak from swimming out to sea
Sudden realization that the ocean spat me out
Gathering my resources
I slowly scramble to my knees then feet
You watched me walk away
Into the heavy drink
Flitting your eyes
As if to say "goodbye"
But no word you uttered
Looking morose but yet relieved
Only your cold stare
To send me a farewell
Tears you never shed
When I plunged within the angry surf
No glances back as you lingered by the driftwood
Satisfaction in your poisonous pride
Oh yes, let me go
Cleanse me water of deep
The promises made not kept
If you saw a stranger
Being carried out by moons light
Your nature to rescue a wretch
Ah, but me
Not you to swim after me
Leave me in Neptune's lair
Without any thought of joining
Not even a tear for me
Succumbed to the beckoning
The dark waters caress over me
As rays of crystals gleam
The sunrise illuminated the bottom
Translucent spotlights on me
Out of body and fragmented mind
When the hands of the forever star
Made my abyss no more
They left me on the coast
Where I could now breath
Shrouded by angelic arms
All that you left
A cigarette on the bank
Without a match
Guess you thought
I wouldn't come back
Fast fleeing the world from whence i came,
the only thing i regret is that of my name,
My Final Goodbye will not be so easy,
As to just float away on the first chance i get,
I love you to much to ever leave,
to let you fall, feel pain, or scream,
For that is something that my love can do,
I will catch you when you are falling,
I will wipe your tears when you cry,
So finally i will take my own advice,
When i say "Est Solaris Oth Mithas",
"My Honor is My Life".
I stood there naked in the hall
Bleary-eyed, as you
Screeched out your fury
I could be on fire for you
But all you do is belch smoke
to write is what
makes her feel better
she lives in a
thick sheet of paper
wording the thoughts
she remembers such things
like what you wore
and perhaps hides it
within a metaphor
and the words you once
whispered in her ear
she would jot them down
in a paper she could tear
What is this world?
I don’t know it at all.
How do I choose food?
Remember to lock my door?
I’m not made for these times.
Conversation engaged my mind.
Silence takes me down hard.
I want to smell water in the air,
see it expansive and blue.
Seems like it was all peace now.
No bitterness, no fighting.
I resist this new way deeply.
And I know I was on a roller coaster
every day back there.
Had to fight to get my point across
or to defend my heritage.
A life which revolved around pine trees
is at the very least - oxygenated.
This isn’t easy for me
taking buses when I can’t remember
where they stop or what time.
Often, I get off at the wrong place
and find myself in trouble.
For the dark nights in pouring rain
coming up the mountain in his car.
To have those chats, to eat dinner together
my juice watered down with ice water.
He was the one who closed up the house
to some degree when we’d leave
but it never needed much it was so huge.
The kitchen alone was as big
as my new place entirely.
How many drawers....bins....cabinets
there were to store things I didn’t
ever even use once.
So easy then. A dishwasher. Ice cubes.
The car to place my purse on the seat
next to me and my drink in the spot.
Couldn’t see it coming just like my marriage.
Impossible to imagine a life other than that.
But, in both cases, it happened
I’m frightened. What am I doing here?
hello to the unknown pretender
goodbye to the overexposed defender
all my love to the taker, but never the resender
all the darkness has sharp edges
all the cavities have roadblocks for decoration
all the lesions have mercilessly given pledges
all the blackheads have blockaded all attempted restoration
i offer you flowers, but you want golden stairsteps
i offer you interchanges, but you want platinum destinations
i offer you clarity, but you want festive, material chaos
i offer you me, but you want the thorn crown of melancholy
knowing this in the now like POW!,
i depart not in frustration, but in a
Deeper Depth of the Discovery of Self....
all i can now do is offer you the warm side of an Alladin's lamp
i hope that the wishes you make will only beautify the maintenance of your personal satisfaction
if I who is ME cannot fulfill your individual zest with additional glee,
then i can only kiss the Welcome Mat of Prayer and welcome back the Internally Divine Player....
When the windows shattered
And the splinters flew in
He just made for the back door
And left me
not knowing where to begin.
When the shards of glass hit me
And pierced my vulnerable skin
He was already going
feeling he was an inhuman being.
When I fell down covered in glass and bleeding,
And the storm raged on,
I didn’t look round because
I knew,I knew,I knew,
I knew he would be gone.
Suddenly peace came,storm had quite
It was all over so quickly
Not as murderous as I feared.
My wounds were bad,I have to confess.
I had no bandage
Nothing with which to dress.
With an old towel I cleaned my blood
Then I lay me down
Just to have a rest.
Since that day,no storms come this way.
My wounds are healing
I have just one thing to say.
When the storm was so bad
He left me all alone…
but strangely since then
all is peace and calm.
His absence has become
almost a balm.
But I hear stories of fierce storms rising up
In towns and villages
Not too far from here, where a wandering man appears.
Seems like he’s running to get away
From some storm
But the storm’s inside him…
He gives it form
So when the windows crashed in
And glass flew at my face
left me all alone
In what, he thought,
was a very dangerous place.
Did he not pick me up
and carry me outside?
No,my daughter, he left me alone;
I might have died.
But since then
I lost a great burden…
And I lost a great feeling of shame.
Rise up,you women,bleeding and torn.
For on days like this,a new resolve is born.
While you live don’t accept all the blame.
Don’t live so long as I did,in fear and in shame.
Rise up and find that calm
In the eye of the storm…
On days like this
a new woman is born.
You were my rock,
My solid place to land.
Or so I thought.
You were never really there,
You ignored all my issues,
You never truly cared.
And, as wrong as it may seem,
You pushed me toward him,
And him toward me.
I suppose I should thank you,
For showing me what's real,
Though you hid your truths.
You lied and deceived me,
But, that's alright now.
I had my share of deceit.
Eighteen months were spent,
And only ten well-lived.
Then, the love went dead.
But, I'm not bitter or sad,
because I've moved on now.
There's better times to be had.
Waiting at the door
Here I stand waiting for you.
Wondering if you're coming soon.
Are you packing your bags or just taking your good old time?
Waiting at the door is really nice.
Hurry I say I want to close the door.
So I don't have to wait at the door no more.
When the blue moon stroke at ninth
Dark romances were acted coyly
Think about the vows of chastity
Purity isn't being chaste anyway.
The thrills of the first kiss
Isn't as absurd as the last
Deceitful masks never deny
Platonic sensations had vanished.
Wondering if love has outgrown
Fretting at the lost passion
Where has sincerity hidden its fangs?
Or is true love just a petite illusion?
say goodbye to those sad days.
even though I have a troubled heart.
but yet,I still smile at you.
you gave me something to smile for.
for you I will be there by your side.
although I had to watch from the sidelines.
it made me wonder,am I apart of this
do I exist in this world.but you were there to
cheer me up.
when I look in your eyes I see the kindness
in your heart.
so I hum sweet a melody when you leave.
I smile everyday when I see you.
but I will say goodbye to those sad days.
and I will never go back again
Drip drop drip drop;
red in the snow.
A soul emerged without its light
worn, torn and tired.
Under a facade of a smile;
hiding a want and desire.
A relief from its torment;
Nothingness is all it hears.
How easy a heart can wither
with each hurtful word.
Under ballads that play and echo
to tunes which break the spirit.
Unlocking a silent passage
of hopelessness and grief.
Wave goodbye Tomorrow
Die, drown another victim in yesterdays sorrow
This is goodbye tomorrow
No tides to borrow
So goodbye tomorrow
Yesterday gone, tomorrow not shown
Today just a repetition of a sinners definition
My hopes shattered
How do I cope with my tears and matter
Drooling of fantasy's when you had her
A poor mans paradise
Adversity and no cares about life
Living in hell and loving it
Pivoting through bail and shoving it
Shoulder blades cracked, collar bones crumbled
Older, outdated, fact is to remain humble
Post marriage life and fussing is a must
Is there even a such thing as baby's dying of SIDDS
Irresponsibility, parent-hood and no agility
Rapper and murderer's
Yall are cursed, so don't even refer to us
I'm blessed with stress, my life's a mess
But for me happiness is only a test
And when you see that sudden glow in my eyes
And the room flow's with goodbyes
It will all come as no surprise
That as I pray for tomorrow
I'll be taken before sunrise
And maybe I'll get to witness again his Son Rise
I walk with my sister and we are young
And her knees are less broken; they swallow
petrel calls and soon we are
equivalent. I call these my oceans. I
shriek with my sister, we wished the
evenings would take our wolf-like sounds
and make us un-speeched.
We are straight and know the meaning of
artificiality. It is this:
beaches steeped in rich, naked men.
I promise to protect my sister from optimism,
and together we are impatiently
consumed by mosquito thirst. When we grow
pale, I offer her dirty laundry,
grass stains. In her mind, she is already
past alternatives, and has forgotten
those rhythms. Beneath the ocean, I am
subdued and I am drowning in inanity
And there is a chain wrapped around my sisters
foot; really it is a snake. I am
bellowing the chains, willing her to acquiesce,
but she whispers to the snake,
sweetly, and it slackens, and she is walking
into naked beaches.
I could hardly remember
yet i can barely forget
how those lips feel against mine
every thought with regret
I've trodden this road
I've been here before
in this place of indecision
I've been beaten and sore
the life that I've known
are but memories now
of a distant past
and of broken vows
I wanted to meet you now,
but I decided to do so.
as shy as can be.I didn't
know what to do.
I put my words in my pocket
so I can give to you.
and so I can say to you in a soft voice.
I like you,I just wanted to say the
words just right.
now I didn't know why my feelings
were toward you.
when I wake up to see another tomorrow.
I pray to see you there at the first time
I saw you.
I sine the kindness in you,
I wish and prayed for a girl like you.
because its just another day.
so say goodbye to the day to the night.
even though we see the stars at night.
so say goodbye to the day.
I'd prayed for a girl like you tonight.
I loved to say hi and goodbye to you
so say goodbye to the day...
goodbye you said to me like
it was nothing- goodbye i say
to you because it is nothing.
no worries, i got it covered, i
took control & left them all
smothered, sprawled in the
hall. i stole these words from
your language, respoke, taken
lightly (just a joke) i can't see
through all the smoke; can't seem
to forget what brought me here
in the first place. what a waste
everyone says, monotone &
dull, everyone expected i
would get infected- upon
disease, i surrender, fall to my
knees & quiver. goodbye you
said to me like it was nothing-
goodbye i say to you because
it is nothing.
With simple words you said goodbye
Simple words that said goodbye forever
Those simple words break my heart to pieces
Because I don't want goodbye to last forever
I want you to be my forever
I want you to be there for me today
I want you to be there in my tomorrows
Be there like you were in my yesterdays
Don't abandon me when I need you
You're supposed to bring happiness into my life
But how can you do that when you leave
You lighted my darkest nights
But now you've caused the darkest night of all
You said you'd cherish me forever
That I would always be your one and only
But that was just a lie
Every thing was a lie
I deserve better than you but I don't want anyone else
I want you and only you
So what do I tell those people
The ones that said you'd break my heart
That you told you'd prove them wrong
They were right you did break my heart
And you don’t even have the decency to apologize
But they never expected you to stick around
Even though that was the only thing I asked you to do
The key to my heart hits the floor as you go,
It's shine turned to rust
it's edges are worn.
No need to repair it,
No use for it now,
For the lock where it fit Is lost and forlorn.
I wish for you laughter
I wish for you love
To find someone perfect,
A hand to your glove.
I'll walk away quiet
And leave you in peace
Forget you won't happen
But you need my release.
It happened, it's over
What we had once is done.
The pages have turned
I wasn't the one.
So hearts lay a mess
Feelings ripped up and burned
Just memories are left,
Old lessons relearned.
I'm good, it's fine now
Alone, I'm ok.
I'm really quite sure
I am meant to be
Is this goodbye forever?
Soon you’ll set off on your new endeavor
And I will be here
Sitting and waiting
For the day you’ll come home
But don’t worry about me baby
Ill be fine.
I try to tell myself that this is good for you
And I know it is
But I feel left out
Pushed to the side
I can’t help but feel this way
The days are long
The nights drag on
I don’t see you
I remain faithful
As I hope you do
I create my calendar
Solemnly around you
Waiting for the day
You will want to be with me
No one else
I see your efforts
Sometimes I just don’t feel them
Yet I know
If this is meant to be
Indeed it will
So I will rest
Upon that thought
Upon your beauty
And your word
So if this is goodbye forever
It is now me
Who shall set off on her new endeavor.
The light which leads
The morning in.
Is not so bright anymore
As one that loved me,
Her kisses she baptised me with.
They woke me less
Than the electric touch of fingers,
Like wind in the trees,
Then there was her voice,
Softer but rough in daylight
Gently breaks good bye to me
With no regret
In her face.
I couldn’t bear to remember
To joy and faith I say goodbye
Resurrect me, only when these holidays die
As my senior days become to fade
Wipe away the innocence of the games we played
I’m nearly an antique and as my life will come to pass
Only to be intrigued Sometimes I wonder with the children ask
I couldn’t bear to remember
To joy and faith I say goodbye
Resurrect me, only when these holidays die
Against these cold tiles I rest my head
As bad dreams and nightmares test this bed
A Funeral for those whom bled
It no longer rains, it only sleets
It keeps me slipping from these tempered feet
Like disaster is constantly pressing repeat
So to these Novembers and Decembers,
I couldn’t bear to remember
To joy and faith I say goodbye
Resurrect me, only when these holidays die
Dear misery, slap me if I follow the paved
Take these invisible gifts
Make them into relive-able myths
And one day, outside this life
I’ll divorce the devastation
Marry my dreams and finally hold my wife
But fantasies are peaceful times
So again I’ll leave you with a deceitful rhyme
The blackness chases me; relentless in its pursuit...
Like a falling wall of guilt, I could not repute...
Anxiety grips me at every turn...
I'm in an endless cave with a dark lantern...
It's like looking up from an empty grave...
Like being terrified, but acting brave...
I have thrown away all I had...
There's no returning fate; it's ironclad...
An Angel of Truth
If death is where you are
A message has been sent to me
From a single wheeling star
Life goes on eternally
Dead is not who you are
Long time gone now Mother
Afterlife seems too beyond too far
For imaginings of mine to wonder
Bright single life wheeling star
Proved to me with a mystery
For days I was followed through the ether
Came to say “ goodbye ” to me
Mother long time it is to remember
Your gift from the other side of deaths door
With precious knowledge reminding me
Love goes on eternally
Proof there is beyond the hereafter
Her soul/spirit light grew in radiance
Vanished so brightly and did so, so joyfully
But came to say “ goodbye ” to me
A single scintillating living wheeling star
Appearing in the air before me
No; not of my imagination
Denial cannot brook An Angel of Truth
If you can listen
Life goes on
Death does not exists
Is my Mothers message to everyone
So if you have lost someone
They are not gone
Someday in your infinite life
The time will come
When their single wheeling star
Will greet you once again
A visit to the graveyard will bring
you sadness of,
saying goodbye to a love one or friend,
Today I went to say goodbye to my
dear brother who I
truly loved so.
He was a friend I could always count on,
for so many years, he had such warmth
around him and through his heart.
He was my hero and idol, who I really
looked up to, many times growing up,
he gave me his last dime.
So many times he brought me smiles
with his humor, that he carried
to my soul.
Darrell I want you to know how much
I truly love you and will miss
you so much.
Saying goodbye for now my friend and
dear brother, just wait a little longer
I will be up there to see you and mom once again.
wrote 7-26-08 In Memory of my brother Darrel Leaming Born 9-14-37 Died 6-25-08
My loving hate,
says goodbye god,
I know longer love life,
and I've never loved you,
I seek refuge in hell,
only to say I'm sorry,
it's the only reason i'm praying,
for the first time in years,
I say a finale farewell,
to my dearest enamy,
my loving hate,
I wish you farewell,
I hate to see you happy,
but you never cared about me,
so I'm leaving you now,
I hate you with all my heart,
though I feel unsure,
I hope hell is okay,
I'm sleeping there at night,
i'm leaving now,
I'm out of heaven's sight,
so goodbye god,
the girl you used to hate is dead,
only I now remain,
and hope I rot in peace.
One single word
So much Pain
Not to take into vain
a hundred years
where that one goodbye
causes you tears
In the rain, in the snow
all the same
you must go