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Free Verse Confusion Poems | Free Verse Poems About Confusion

These Free Verse Confusion poems are examples of Free Verse poems about Confusion. These are the best examples of Free Verse Confusion poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

Silent Page

Silent Heart

Sad, as it maybe, I had to break my OWN heart, 
Too many nights, I sat there all torn apart
A dream girl, 
Sitting under its own corrupted auspices sky 
You the poet, in disguise
Telling white lies about, your love for me
Saying I'm a boon from the sky....
A match, a queen, your muse, your everything
I'm no-good, I admit this once more, 
Your advice, I forever adorn 

It's time I follow the crying crows, and praise what is left
Afraid to listen my rhymes weren't cutting it, 
I release it all!
Your smiles, words, and worn out shoulders
I walked away
Silently--
I acted on
Without a word, in a fetal stage I awake
Tonight you carry a tune for others
A story of a man who stole my soul of sins
A poet, I long forever more
Always, you will own the only sound that still beats inside
To live alone, in silence, asleep in my own world
I had to let go, 
-Of him, whose name I whisper in darkness
The only thing that remains, are the echoes of pouring rain

Too many reasons, writer's block, took full moon
You are a poet, from another lifetime, 
Down in Mandalay, I can no longer ask you to stay
Reading everything about my life, yet you can't answer
Alliterating poems, greeting every dark shadow, normally yours
Many nights I waited, long for the moment of my OWN return
Instead,
I dusted myself off like yesterday's verse, yesterdays dirt
Cobweb, remain on my page
My pen now sits like a twig
No motion, since the day I decided I am not worthy of the wait
You the poet, who walks my way
I pressured less of me every day
Like Aspen, a forever winter cold! 
In your eyes, you wonder why, 
I trace the white smoke standing in your place?

To savor your words, once more 
It's too soon to breathe again. 

I hope you understand, 
How can I continue to love, when I don't even love myself?

By:PD


Details | Free verse | |

A Mathematical Uncertainty

Can you count the times you’ve crossed me
And divide it by the times you disrespected me
Then multiply that by the times you hurt me
And come up with a figure?

Relatively speaking it’s a simple equation
Resulting in a drastic re-calculation of the outcome.

Can you give me the square root of the problem
That started this whole conundrum in the first place
And tally up the results and give me a statistical
Analysis comparing the amount of times you
Left me wondering why I’m on this earth 
Or if I’m not worthy of trust?

I’m sure the answer would be skewed resulting
In the necessity to rethink the control group.

I believe the right course of action would be to
Figure out the base and height of the love triangle
You thought I wouldn’t notice, and in case you didn’t know
It, I’m pretty good at trigonometry. 

Cause for me, who came into this problem with
Total devotion and a faithful trust, this doesn’t 

Add up.


Details | Free verse | |

The Fallen Poet

(The Fallen Poet)

Shadows, fall from the east
Winter show, white meadows,
Compelling words lost, in a silent world
Beautiful, Bloomingdale is how it goes
Apocalyp-so, my very own limbo
I was alone in a field of corpses-
A field of men, women and broken pens, 
Images of angels fallen to their knees

A pace of space, where--
The sun became a wasted disease
The more I prayed the worse I felt,
Lord, I came before you- broken from head to toe

Heaven sees through, the secret inside
Lost I may be, yet you see
Offended me, I no longer sing
I wait till all is asleep
My ink is dry, a broken poet, with nowhere to go
Lost in the shadows of snow, frozen like ice
A sheet of paper, with no meaning, no words

My friends, my comrades, how easily one forgets

Like a game of chess, I panicked
Made all the right and wrong moves
I lost my way, staggered across
Love comes and love goes
My heart weaker than, weak
I don't know how I survived before, 
After turning the other cheek
I was no longer whole, forsaken myself endlessly 
I was lost, could not even count on myself

Guidance, I ignored no one believed what's become of me
Secretly, I stood in my old footsteps after falling down

At times end, I found nothing could put me back where I belong
It's time to get back on offense,
Walk through the new doors God reopened to my life

~SKAT~

(A Poet Destroyer Collaboration) 


Details | Free verse | |

FORBIDDEN

~ZOMBIE NIGHT~ 

WHINING WHISPERS MOVE ACROSS FORBIDDEN LAND
Rugged ruins crumble silent through the night
Echoes of the dead roam the air
Moonlight vanishes to complete despair
Bones slowly desert distorted resting homes
Ascension of the dead -Longing to live again 

Sands of desert flip the hour glass back
WHIMPERING WHISPERS MOVE ACROSS FORBIDDEN LAND
Rugged ruins crumble silent through the night
Echoes of the dead roam the air
Moonlight vanishes to complete despair
Bones slowly desert distorted resting homes 

Taking light from where evil stays 
Feeding away leaving behind a death valley zone
WONDERING WHISPERS MOVE ACROSS FORBIDDEN LAND
Rugged ruins crumble silent through the night
Echoes of the dead roam the air
Moonlight vanishes to complete despair

Dead souls forsake the common land
Shadowing like Equinox light 
Walking corpse covered in rotten barren sand
WINDY WHISPERS MOVE ACROSS FORBIDDEN LAND 
Rugged ruins crumble silent through the night
Echoes of the dead roam the air

Upright, forward broken taboo 
Searching for the perfect breath of fresh air
Sounds of symbols march the ground
Searching to find their missing heartbeat
WHISKING WHISPERS MOVE ACROSS FORBIDDEN LAND
Rugged ruins crumble silent through the night


Ascension of the dead  -Long to live again 
Bones slowly desert distorted resting home
Moonlight vanishing in complete despair
Echoes of the dead roam the air
Rugged ruins crumble silent through the night
WHEN WHISPERS MOVE ACROSS FORBIDDEN LAND

by;PD


Details | Free verse | |

A Little Foggy

The fog is so thick I can not see the sticks, that in a wasted life,
rise off the dirty grave of the forest floor. 
There is no beauty that could compare to the sight
of the thick ground clouds, that embrace my morning. 
To run through the moisturous blanket into the unseen
and unknown would be a spectacular thrill. 
The cool droplet of water stroking my feet, as they are released from
the tall finger grasses. tickle me kindly. 
I chase the fog as its spread of mystery begins to rise
and confines back up into the sky. 
I reach for the heartbeat of the fog, hoping that surrounding my skin,
with its life, it would carry me away. 
I dance with it deeper into the dense woods, where it awakens the pine trees, 
with its wet breath. 
Higher and higher the fog rises.
I climb a welcoming oak tree,
stretching with its limbs grabbing for the clouds. 
Take me away my morning fog, I want to ride this elevator to the sky,
to the heavens, take me away. 
The fog disappaites and I am left with misty hands and empty eyes. 
I look around clearly, seeing the crispness of nature,
basking in all her beauty 
From the heights of this old oak tree,
I realize... I am lost. 


Vibrant Verse Contest
07/30/2014


Details | Free verse | |

Rainfall

Hiding alone in the shadows guarded, trusting no one silently watching, waiting Is life worth living? Can anyone save him? His vision clouded, blurred The sunless skies have him confused Rainfall begins a drenching and soaking rain pours down flooding the autumn bonfires Which blazed in once upon a time with ardent passion in the dense forest of happily ever afters


Details | Free verse | |

Like a Rock

I carry my mother 
like a rock in my pocket 

that I just can’t seem to throw away 

It serves me 
no purpose, 
it just weighs me down 

~~~
 
When I first found it, 
when I first picked it up 
and started carrying it with me, 

I thought it so beautiful – 
I could look at it for hours 

But, like my mother, 
it never looked back at me, 
never grew warm under my loving gaze 

For the longest, I was blind to that, 
Blind to anything but the beauty, 
blind to the cold, hard, 
beyond-remote nature of the rock,
of my mother,
my stone

~~~

I carry my mother,
a thought without weight

And she’s heavier

and she’s colder

than all the stones
there are

~~~
 
By the time I recognized her 
immutable, emotional unavailability, 
I had run out of joy,
felt depleted of hope –

But I could not,
for the life of me,
stop seeking a beauty, a warmth,
inside her heart

Could not stop
wishing
that one day this stone,
my mother,
deep inside my pocket,

Might just become
its own opposite –

Change from hard to fluid,
from cold to warm

But my rock, my hard burden,
will only turn to water

When my mother
stops being
a stone


Details | Free verse | |

Swept under the carpet

If people suffer in truth at our hands
with ill education and manners
Then we turn on them spitting words
casting stones of hate
blame them as a menace unto society
corrupted from childhood 
what chance do they have
Living below means 
defined by their status not born to privilege
Then punish them for the crimes committed 
inside which their first education exposed them too
what stands above is created in this society
it holds the key through poverty
Turning a blind eye we punish them
what does that make us
  


Details | Free verse | |

Didn't Don't

.

Didn't Don't
Somebody keeps pulling on the rope to swing the bells
   didn't don't       
            didn't don't
Don't touch it. Don't say it. Don't do it. Don't doubt it. Don't think.

Somebody handcuffs my steps. Somebody determines my boundaries.
Before I fully understand free will, there is a slap on my head
      and phosphenes like stars that command my orbit.
Before I can recognize differences, there is a slap on my hand
      right hand, not left hand...never ambidextrous; 
      and time out is isolation without a trial...and I learn
                               the fear of wrongdoing
                               remote-controlling my existence,
conditional on demand, predesigned
      and easily
      and obviously
      frightened
An aborted freedom escaping into the sewer
trying not to get it on the seat

I'm the observer of other lives, not mine               
tied up and chained, in captivity 
attempting to prove an alibi 
                    for being alive.
No one cares
not even myself

Somebody pulls on the rope to swing the bells
   didn't don't       
           didn't don't
It's dirty. It's ugly. It's bad. It's poo. It's sin.

commitments, commandments... Commandments, Commitments
                               Salvation... Damnation
Sometimes deception makes them ring in a low tone. Sometimes
I do what they say, and not what they do, and not what I want, and not what I think.

                 Through   fragments   of   this   duplicity,
                                               and   this   duplicity, 
I would be able to rebuild myself,
                                and Myself, into another hypocritical being;
and the intentional perversion of the self proclaimed truth,
                                or the liar paradox,
                                will be sovereign
leading to the use of tricks and cotton swabs.

When the remorseless hours run counterclockwise,
I would be happy through imaginary experiences,
consistently depurated,
consistently believed to be true.
             
Would I dare to examine the society in which I've been educated and raised?
Would I dare rip my skin...my flesh off of my bones?
How could I blame them? How could I possibly judge them?
Order and obedience in confabulation...in conspiracy...in complicity

If somebody keeps pulling on the rope to swing the bells
If I'm the only one guarding my own cell
If I'm the jailer, and the convict, and the crime.


.



Details | Free verse | |

Behoove

He misconstrued my intention of friendship
Forver sealing our fate to be acquaintances
Married to others with a nagging sense of loss
Keeping our mates at bay away from true intimacy



Details | Free verse | |

Paranoid love

Tell me that this fear is just paranoia in my mind, 
we're not straining, we're not struggling, 
we're not sinking, we're just fine. 
I'm not perfect my dearest, but damn have I tried, 
and I'll try harder but I know I'll have the same results every time. 
Do you want me all the ways that I am? 
With all the struggles and the tears and the clinging to your hand. 
I fear your getting further and Im left on the shore to stand, 
watching you in the distance with a bullet in my hand. 
Tell me all this worry, its just clutter in my mind, 
tell me not to worry that we're doing just fine. 
Cause Im scared to run you off and I feel Im falling deep. 
And Im so frightened of these thoughts that its getting hard to sleep.
All I know is that the heart wants what it desires, 
because of you the match inside has turned into a fire. 
And I feel the broken glass thats sticking from my skin, 
Wondering if you'll remove the pain or push it back in. 
My hearts frantic wondering if you feel the same, 
pleading and begging for more than just a saying, 
but to feel and to see that im not alone, 
with being in this love thats overwhelming. 
Once I told you that we didnt have a spark, 
but you were lighting up and I was sitting in the dark. 
And this fire, this blaze its wrapped in desire. 
Im terrified to lose you, I think I might die or, 
maybe disappear from all the pieces falling out, 
im going crazy but when i open my mouth, nothing comes out, 
and I cant explain to you why I just need to hold you close, 
why every time you leave Im scared to let you go, 
why these tears are building up behind my eyes, 
all I know is that the heart wants what it desires 
and it desires to be your wife. 
So tell me in my panic, that your words are true, 
tell my my dearest what I mean to you, 
tell me that this paranoia is all within my mind 
we're not struggling, we're not sinking tell me we're just fine


Details | Free verse | |

My Turn To Cry

I’ve distanced myself
I didn’t mean to
Didn’t set out to do it
An unconscious act of the mind 
For self preservation

My visits went to once a week
Sunday dinners that once lasted for hours
Became shorter and shorter
Until now its get in
Get it cooked
Clean it up 
Visit
And we’re out

Occasionally circumstances would
Happen and one would be missed
Oh well I’ll go during the week
Sometimes I did
Sometimes I didn’t
Today my heart cried to be near you

I entered the home and immediately
Settled my mood into the atmosphere
Funeral home-esque for lack of a better description
I speak in hushed tones
Slow my movements
And quiet my spirit

You want something
Oh thank you give me a job
What do you need???? Anything
I’ll gladly do anything

So many things hurt you now
You who were so tough reduced to such pain
Questions, answers, questions, answers
Over and over and over
This is the part I know
I’ve practiced this so many times before

You speak and in mid sentence you cry
Have I seen my sister,,you can’t remember 
Ever seeing my sister, have you seen her
Yes mom remember mom
My answers are calm
Almost rehearsed
Repeated
Sterile

You look searching in my eyes
Yours, sunken, confused,
Pained, with a depth of sadness
I haven’t seen before
I look away.

I meet all the needs you’ve asked of me
I pat you, hug you, pray with you
I look at my brother, the saint
He’s tired, worn, sad
 
I leave, I’m OUT
I drive
How’d I get here
How long have I been driving
The sky so desperately gray
Muted tones of nothingness
The air feels so heavy
Like a shroud encompassing me
Choking me

The river runs beside me
It rages from the wind
There’s no stopping its power
It’s dark and gloomy and brown
And suits my mood

I try to pray
HOW DO I PRAY
Do I pray for healing,
Health, life, death
Joy, maybe peace

I cry out to you
I DON’T KNOW HOW TO PRAY
I look to the sky and see
The smallest spot of the most beautiful sapphire blue
In a sea of nothing
And I cry


Details | Free verse | |

Your Words

Your words,
are projectiles
dripping with Arsenic
and aimed at my heart
spitting out darts and swords 
that expertly find their mark
and draw blood

Your words,
when aimed at others
are carried by Pixies
and sprinkled 
with honey and sugar coatings
that melt in their ears
and taste of confection

Your words,
cloak me in pain and guilt
for undone atrocities
and imagined factors
as your blame
riddles my soul
causing it to
prune, wither, and crust

Your words,
accusing, spiteful, degrading, malicious
paintings of what I once thought
was an indestructible bond of Love
that no one 
should be able to destroy

and yet
you do so
with your words.

I've no soul left
no appetite for your touch
no desire to want for anything

except

to become deaf
so I will no longer
have to listen to

your words


Details | Free verse | |

Breaking Point

I can't take it no more this is too much Your words are just words you use as a crutch My mind is a mess these pills just dont work Why don't you care I'm going beserk One minute I'm up the next one I'm down This life is strangling me I might as well drown I sit in the dark never seeing the light You're all out to get me I'm living in fright I polish my guns They are a true friend Since you don't love me Today will be our end
***based on a true story of a co-worker. Last weekend he attempted to shoot his wife over cold dinner**** Hope he can get the help he truely needs


Details | Free verse | |

Kerouac's Grave

Alone,
slicked with sweat,
and hearing the locusts’ cries deep in my neck,
I stood over the remains of Sal Paradise.
 
The spotty grass around the tombstone
was browned and littered
with trodden Camel filters
and corroded bottle caps.
 
I reached into my inspired rucksack
and discovered a Deutchmark,
forgotten like a sleepy drunk at a tavern.
I ceremonially placed it on the granite-
amid the years
and a crusty half-empty whiskey bottle
a different friend had left.
 
I hunched over the grave,
my head bowed,
but not really praying or thinking
about him.
 
And now I sit across the street,
seated by the window
in a little Italian restaurant.
I am the lone customer,
ensconced by piped-in light FM muzak.


Details | Free verse | |

Elder Abuse

He sits quietly in the corner of the room
and dabs his face removing the blood that
still gently trickles down his cheek. Flinching 
from the pain he tries to be more careful.
He wants to ask but doesn’t dare, so he 
wonders, What did I do wrong? Running 
his trembling fingers through his grey hair, he
remembers, I only wanted a glass of milk.

                                     She grabs a rag and starts cleaning off the
                                     counter. As she wipes down the cupboard 
                                     she is still cursing under her breath. “Why
                                     did we have to take him, we can’t go out 
                                     anymore because we’re stuck here with this
                                     eighty five year old man who can’t even pour
                                     himself a glass of milk without spilling it. 
                                     With that she throws the rag loudly in the sink.

He wants to get up and go to his room, but he’s
afraid. It didn’t used to be like this, she used to laugh 
with me and we’d talk about when mom was still
alive. How many times we took the children so 
they could go away. Now she doesn’t even look
at me anymore without frowning. Maybe if I
just sit here quietly she’ll forget about
me. Maybe if……. Oh no, here she comes. 

                                     She puts her hands on her hips and as if
                                     he was five years old she scolded him over
                                     and over again. She’s so tired of telling the 
                                     old man the same things, but he just doesn’t 
                                     get it. She asks herself why the father she 
                                     loved so much had to go and get Alzheimer.
                                     She notices how he’s shying away and 
                                     protecting his head with his arms. 

He runs into his room afraid she could
slap him again, thankful that his door 
still has a lock. He hears her yell, 
“Just ask me when you want something.”
He stands leaning on his door and slowly
he slides to the floor where he curls in a ball.
Glancing around the strange room, tears
fog his eyes as he asks, “Where am I?"


Written by Brenda Meier-Hans 
12.14.2014

Cyndi MacMillan
Contest Name	I CAN'T BREATHE: A peaceful Protest, An Anthology of Powerful Poems


Details | Free verse | |

TIME KEEPER

Seconds,
My life seems to work anti-clockwise
With every tick I seem to get less wise
By the minute counter-clock-wise
As I split-seconds closer to my demise
Look deep in to these eyes
There is no I to make this a life
So let me die

And here I lie
Clip off these wings you gave me to fly
I have no reason to visit the skies
I'm now too cold to be your sun
Still here I lie
I just hate it when you smile
It seems to kill all that poetry in your cry
Now say goodbye so you can drown your pillows with tasteful life
Because here and there I lied
Auctioned pieces of your heart for pounds of flesh I lost taste for after a couple of bites
I was greedy and they were needy- that defined exploitation
See now I believe it would take more than one crucifixion to cleanse my sins
So don't forgive me
I now belong to the Darkness
And your love is not welcome here


Details | Free verse | |

My weakness

        GOD

Wondrous of many blessings.
Smiling never a frown.
My prayers, Lord, are  suddenly being ignored.
I've taken a tumble of  fallen down
Lord, my life was plain and simple  
How did it come to this.
Lord, now I carry a  burden so deep
A torn up life not easy to fix
Hard to get my prayers before I sleep
Bleeding only internally!
Feeling very minutely!
God, have you deserted me, or is it me who deserted you?

God, my Lord, my savior, how could you abandon me?
Must I drown in my own sorrow.
Must I wake up like this today and tomorrow.
Why have you left me, or is it me who left you?

God, I need you like never before.
When I wake up,
When I head out the door.
Tormented in a mood ring of stock
Heavily my tears hit upon the floor.
God, do you not feel me, or is it me who no longer feel you?

God, what is your plan for me?
What things did I not see?
I asked for you to forgive me in my ways of sin.
Why do you let him provoke me?
Lord, I forbid for him to win.
Relieve me from his gutless pain.
God, do you not believe me, or is it me who no longer believe in you?

God, do you not hear my call
My pitiful excuses make me weak and small
In your eyes I no longer feel tall
I remain cursed in every single fall
Lord, only you can break this wall
Do you not see me on my knees
Must I beg and crawl?
I am at your mercy, crying out with grief
Open the path to the lighted hall
O' Lord, the day you judge me before your throne
Please tell me it was a lesson for me to stand up on my own
God for now I will end this talk
With the dignity to never look back
And ask if you were there on my endless journey of a relentless walk?

By:PD


Details | Free verse | |

Waiting for the Lost

Wait for me when I get back,
just wait for me…

I rub my weary eyes, as I write this
hoping you’ll understand,
hoping you’ll take our memories with you
as we travel on different roads
until that day comes
when I find that path
that leads me back to you…

I was forced on this journey, and so were you.
Neither of us wanted this, but maybe this is what we need.

Now I truly am lost, and my eyes wander off…
Everything’s a blur now,  and I grasp at cotton candy clouds
sugar crystals sticking on my warm fingers, and that is all.






01072012103a106


Details | Free verse | |

'Memories'



Across a noisy plane Where crowds gather You can hear their chatter and laughter I can still hear your heart beating Even though we are past that stage Of breathing because we have to The only thing I feel is you The only thing you feel is me It is more a case of it is the only feeling That keeps us going In anarchy and confusion This makes sense Feeling you Breathing you Even if it’s only through memories They sometimes talk the loudest
©300520121315


Details | Free verse | |

Ribcage

Split apart your ribcage,
Open up the corridor, and let me come in
Uneasiness instantly strikes through me
Let me sway away...
Let me flutter away...
Like a butterfly out of its cocoon 
I'm trapped!Let me depart

Split apart your ribcage,
Unwrap me, let me go!
Believe me...reflect on me
Let me sway away...flutter away
Let us both seek the sun,
So we can grow together once more


Details | Free verse | |

The cutter



She went to sleep
closing her eyes
beginning to dream
of broken butterflies
tearing her lovely monarch wings
on faithless love that angels sings...

She finds shiny metal in kitchen sink
in an evening absent light
she finds peace in cuts of pink
watching crimson blood flow feels so right..

Starlight shines upon her tears
I whisper darling, you cannot bleed
all of your suicidal fears
at night when you begin to cry
I'll sing you a lover's lullaby..

My love do not wish that you were dead
dreaming of an absent pulse
laying on silken sheets bleeding red
I will offer love so do not bleed
give me your knife I am all you need...
~ ~ ~ ~


Details | Free verse | |

HESITATING HIS CALL



The hint of his scent invited me to enter a forbidden door, running male fingers along the fabric of my back…silhouettes melt on the wall; jealous stars drift afar as moonlight trails along with heaving sighs. And my cheery lips heat beyond eyes smoldering in flickers of candles lit, just there, I wished the fire of breath had more power over my bare heart, but… I hesitated the call of his rugged charm, of his night tunes: violin melody on air crawling on my damp skin igniting the spice upon his neck; I quiver. And he pulls me away from an embrace, gazing low through curves of my bent limbs while in slow drift, I claim effort to regain a hurt esteem brushed off in a draining flow the tang of salt arrests, but... I hesitated the toss of hairs curled when I really meant ‘next time’. Regina Riddle's Rejection Contest by nette onclaud


Details | Free verse | |

Just Like November

I wait patiently, and eagerly listening for your call.
Was I such a liability to cause you to drift away like leaves in the fall?
       The temperature dropped 30 degrees that day.  On that sidewalk I begged you to stay
But you turned and walked towards the subway.
       Just like November you were suddenly gone.
A man on the corner was playing the saxophone.  I dropped a dollar in his hand and moved
       on.  Without her I headed home.

       I watched the gentle breeze toss around a feather.
It's during these times I wonder if we will ever get back together.
       The chill against the nape of my neck is not my type of weather.
You were so cold.  Your touch like ice, and you did not play nice.
       But I rolled the dice and suffered frost bite because loving
you came with a price.
       My heart and emotions have been disassembled and rearranged.
I wondered how strange?!  Just like November everything seem to change.

       The holidays draw near. Everyone is in festive cheer.
It's just not the same with you not here.
       Now days I stand facing the subway
and I must say, I have this great fear.
       That just like November, I'll soon disappear.
The chill still finds the nape of my neck from the rear.
       The man on the corner still plays the saxaphone.
I drop another dollar in his hand and move on.
       But this time I did not head home,
And just like November we're both suddenly gone!



 .


Details | Free verse | |

Eve

Does the past really matter?
 Does it set you free? 
I’m absorbed in the sin,
That is surrounding him and me. 

Lost in the curiosity,
Cold to the touch. 
Drenched in the poison,
With my dignity in his clutch.

Feeling like I was cheated;
I chose the evil instead of light.
I traded in the sunshine,
For what lurks in the night. 

I disobeyed his orders,
I gave up security to be unsure.
I went against the warnings,
Gave into darkness instead of remaining pure.

Once my bed was made of soft grass,
But now it is made of stone.
Was plump from all of the luscious fruit,
Now I’m starving to the bone. 

My curse is one of circumstance.
The punishment a crime,
I’m stuck inside this dampened cave,
For the rest of time. 
My world came crashing down,
The grief has not subsided.
My heart broke completely,
When my sons collided. 

My misery a token,
From the abandonment I earned.
Upon the time spent in sorrow,
There was a lesson to be learned.

Have I found the moral?
Only in time we shall see,
For all I did was eat an apple-
From the Knowledge tree. 


Details | Free verse | |

The Day That Died Forever

When I am Colder,Older and then alone...
I will collect the sky on my own...
When the art has faded and the days then fade-
when everyone has gone away...

I may finally see what never was saw
.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh............... the quiet sky

The unlit room which bares my end...shows the flashes of my pains my joys and sins.
This life has been a strange one since the curtains were drawn
These paper and plastic figures have clouded the dawn

I was once younger,foolish,and obsessed with truth
Now I am bitter,sour,dour faced with my heart under shoe

The children were all searching or lost in a crowd
All weeds in a garden...growing vile and foul

Though beauty was sold it never came true
Obsessions and vanity have traveled safe through

Materials and poison and everything lost
have been burned in the fires or lost in the frost

I stand face to mirror tearing my being apart
Winding thoughts of love,pain,god,and art

As the sun sets and the darkness grows
I too shall follow this pattern in tow

Death has a friendly hand and a pretty face
She has given me comfort as I leave this place

The wars have occurred,humanity's lost
Souls have been burnt in the fire or lost in the frost

Day was Life,Night is Death

And the latter has given counsel on my final steps


Details | Free verse | |

Home Of The Hang Man

Home Of The Hang Man

The children are so full of doubt
No one is allowed to speak
No one is allowed to shout
Opinions are driven underground
Seems that every time they do it wrong
Always been the same old song
Never get it right
Never allowed to speak
Never allowed to fight

It’s a strange house
The children are so full of doubt
A strange house

The kids just don’t understand
They don’t see that this is the way it’s all been planned
Keep them frightened is the game
Then all those “other” things won’t need to be explained
Why is big brother always mad
Why is younger brother always sad
Why does he sit in his bedroom all alone
Because it’s a strange house
And not a home

It’s a strange house
The children are so full of doubt
A strange house

Everything they do or say
Is turned into to a weapon to build upon the barricade
And Dad pretends he’s not afraid
Of the sudden discovery of suffocated memories
The dark deeds linger in a cage
Of ridicule and violence that makes the babies cry
So Mum has buried her suspicions worryings away
In Sunday lunches usual farce
A make believe gathering of corrupted loving and pretended merry making

It’s a strange house
The kids are so full of doubt
A strange house




Big brother hit the self destruct
With pills and needles long before he decided he was gay
No one ever asked him why he was so mad
And  no one ever asked why younger brother was so sad
He sits up stairs in his room 
Surviving in a sea of doubt
The suffocated memories have all come out
He’s always sad and he’s always alone
The babies to they both have grown
But he doesn’t know them anymore
It’s been so long since he left that so called home

It’s a strange home
The children are so full of doubt
A strange house

Their children are so full of doubt
Brought up and made this way
All their futures turn to grey
As all the buried memories fight their own way out
Remember why they always felt so wrong
Remember what happened when we were young
And mother just closed her eyes she did not help
All the future turns to grey
Brought up and made to be this way

Father was the hang man who took their lives away




Details | Free verse | |

INNER BEAUTIES PROMISE

How many emotional tears have we so cried, us the unperfected,
The Barbie generational rejected, or Ken doll unrealistic Idol worship.
Cursed by society’s vision of ultimate beauty, wake up world
For are we all not human, and subject to fragilities faults of reality.
Oh to remove the textured veils of the masked disguised,
To reveal the inner face of grace hidden within the soul itself.
For true beauty lies inside the heart of innocence,
Or underneath the timeless wrinkles of ages experience,
One must just remove the blinders of ignorance, to see it
In clarities truth sight line of view.
Where are these mythical people of perfections achievement?
From where do they dwell, or come from these visions of
Illusionary beings, which we so strive to be like?
Nay do suffer the youth of the future to measure up,
To an irrational delusion, a mirages camouflage of lies
Deceit.
Dreaming child of occult fiction, this is deadly ground
From which you tread upon, for reality vision is obscured
By plastic surgeries faults hoods of realism.
Vintage are the mirrors in this fun house of lies,
Let us cover these soul suffocating devices,
Or shatter the glass of reflected illusions.
Then shall we embrace our differences, allowing the next
Generation to breathe a long sigh, of relief at last.
To accept and express their own individuality without
Social oppression, or misconceptions of beauty,
Then enriching the world with glorious infusions
Of unguarded inspirational promise.
What a wondrous planet of enlightment this would
Be if utopia really could exist, unfettered by mankind’s
Unclouded mind of perfection.
Forever after all is short time in the eyes of humanity,
Let us hold our children high and nurturing them with love
And respect, no matter what, not judging them by their
Beauty marks of imperfections,
Instead allowing them to shine in the glow of inspiration
Eternal.

BY: CHERYL ANNA DUNN


Details | Free verse | |

Two Days Ahead

I must try and lead my dreams,
to where the lost and unforgiving answers,
rejuvenate their circle.

Two days, have somehow passed
and my eyes are half empty.

I still need to sleep.

Two days, ahead now
and my eyes are half full.

Hence, the satirical tear shed,
to hypothetically cleanse....

absolutely nothing.


Details | Free verse | |

Dear Me

Dear Me,

I need you to be stronger
I need you to never be afraid

swallow your pride,and your flight will be softer
tell her you love her,even if it hurts

Grab onto your dream and live it
Do not be afraid of the sun's divinity

Be better,love more, hold on.

Dear Me,

Enjoy every stop of the ride.
For when the train finally stops...we die

Until we witness the angels dance after final day...
Dear Me, hide your fears away


Details | Free verse | |

Soul Eaters

Turmoil
God awful gut wrenching 
nightmare riding
turmoil.

Throat clenching
acid rising murder of crows,
False importance on the trivial grows.

A gag reflex of learned fear
turmoil roils hurricane high
calms counterweight on the psychic scale.

Taste the bitter bile of discontent.
Far fetching fowl…
fouling the content
eating the brash bits of joy
Turmoil.


Details | Free verse | |

Come Back To Me

The Ink Bottle sits, alone,
It’s only Companions,
The Feathered Pen,
The Paper Pad.

The Desk, once alive,
The Words,
No longer,
Written.

Love, abandon,
But wanting not,
The Freedom,
It has.

A Wooden Chair, dusty,
Reclines not,
For the Comfort,
Once given.

Time, a mystery gone,
With passing,
Never to be recovered,
Longing.

Days of gloom, waiting,
Shine not, The Light,
The Heart,
Once brightened.

Come back, to Me,
My words, of Joy,
Of Laughter,
Wisdom, once known.


Details | Free verse | |

The Secret

The Secret

Blood red eyes
Tears flowing down unshaven cheeks
Lungs straining for breath
Holding in words that should be spoken
The pain becomes unbearable
As the darkness gathers around
The loneliness fills the soul
No one to talk to
No one to share a secret with
Senses die in the dark
Unaware of what is around
Smiles are nonexistent
Even with the good news of the secret
There is nothing but black
Someday the secret will be known
The smiles will come with the light
But for now it remains hidden in the dark
Not shared with loved ones
Just a secret waiting to be told 


Details | Free verse | |

Death of a Child

He Spent Most of His Childhood Identifying 

With his own Mind, Watching his Brain Mould

And Gestate into a Universal Quandary of 

Short Circuits and Bad Wiring.

         -God is an Incompetent Electrician-

Their Feet Hit The Numbers in The Squares,

He Turned The Digits To letters, Each Imprint

Forging Alphabets in His Head.

         -Some Taunted, Some Observed-
      -              None Understood                  -

He Writhed in His Classroom Chair, It Never

Became Comfortable, His Blood Screamed In

Liquid Agony and Circulated His Wooden Frame.

         - His Chewed Nails Clawed at The Desk -

His Thoughts Where Composed of Miracles.

I Am His Testament To The World:

To The Boy Who Died in me,

So Many Years Ago.


Details | Free verse | |

Sometimes in June

Sometimes in June

It was a lovely June morning;
Little woolly clouds drifted high up in the sky,
The air was full of sweet scents,
Small groves and groups of trees,
Silence like little lambs.

It was a lovely June morning;
Day had broken,
Cold and gray,
Exceedingly cold and gray,
No sun nor hint of sun,
It was a clear day.

It was a lovely June morning;
I gazed about other creatures in solitary,
An intangible pall over the face of other creatures,
Subtle gloom that surrounded man’s life,
The joyous in the mist of other nature,
Deep thought and tearful happy,
Slowly blush the past event away.

By
Ajeyemi Wasiu .A.


Details | Free verse | |

Afraid Of Love - For A Friend

I understand 
Truely I do 
You forget dear friend, 
I am in fact like you. 
I was once afraid, 
and if truth must be told, 
I continue to be afraid, 
even as my Darling and I grow old. 
We each have our own hopes, 
and with each soul comes individual dreams. 
To find someone who is compatable is a terrifying thing. 
But no life is a waste, no presence is less than the other, 
your co-ed was wrong, as was my mother. 
I understand your fear, 
I once drowned in it myself, 
running away, pushing away help. 
I wanted to be touched, 
I wanted to be loved, 
but It was like a fire, 
so beautiful I was afriad I would burn. 
You must swallow your fear,
wade into the water, 
once you find your own Dear, 
you will calm and know that there is no other. 
It wont come at first, 
its a gradual thing, 
but when you feel that tug on your heart, 
do not cut the strings. 
You dont just hurt yourself, 
you hurt those that care, 
the ones that dream, to be in your air. 
Open your heart, 
and be not afraid, 
soon it will come and you will rejoyce in the day.


Details | Free verse | |

Let's Drive, Shall We?

There are different levels of truth
I climb
   Staircases 
	That 
	       Go
	            Far
                                      Beyond
		                         Comprehension
Reality is made of thoughts
Spiraling and humming 
Like they are something
But in the end
They are all just ideas
Driving to nowhere except 
Waiting to be found and
Put into motion
Heights of control
Shift to third and go above
Everyone is an enigma 
I fall in affection 
constantly
With myself
Metamorphosing

Who am I to ask of perfection?
I is always capitalized
but what if
i is i and we are we, and he, we together
make something different, completely?

Manufacturing lines put together
Vehicles that take soul imprinted notions
on midnight drives by the avenue
Sell them to the Lord, to the Devil
'Tis all the same
For goodness sake, heaven is simply
What we make it


Details | Free verse | |

Guess My Name

 I can be anything you like
the one to love you; your esquire,
I can be love’s greatest asset
or the hangman’s noose if of that you require.
I can be the bastard that spoils your day
or indeed the one that helps you cross life’s busy highway,
I can be sincere also tell you lies
stab you in the back when gullibility your byway.
I can be your fantasy or worst nightmare
play your game, then mine; come on in to my brain,
I can be your pillow give comfort to where you lay your head
also the lead weight to tie around your legs.
I can be your fun or funeral director
in heaven or hell when you die,
I can change my profile, personality
sparkle with the morning dew only then to evaporate.
I can be simple the way I was taught-created
hammer you with love threaten you with happiness,
I can be young or very old wise or worthless
contemptuous my amour an open book my soul.
I can be all of these things for today ‘tis life,
flexible elastic, pull your strings. I major in all.

© Harry J Horsman 2014

Title thanks Rolling Stones 


Details | Free verse | |

Betting on Nothing

By committing to nothing, one retains infinite options.
I have hid inside these words for moons and seasons and New Year’s toasts.
The lone wolf roams fertile pastures unfettered.
The thrill of the hunt.
The chase.
An empty bed is the hope of a new body’s sleeping curve.
Tomorrow becomes yesterday.
“The mystery of mysteries is the gateway to marvels.”
I stopped looking long ago.

The faces have blurred into a montage of emptiness.
Come and go; came and went.
I never bothered much to be bothered.
There aren’t many memories
And I am thankful for that.
Wet fingers and licked lips’
Blood on my hands.
Wasted time.
The years run on like a favorite sitcom gone bad.
It all should have been retired years ago.

It is easier to stay afloat and roam the big waters alone
Than set up camp on an island and face a face.
No problems.
No worries.
No connection.
Freedom is all that you cannot commit to
And who surrenders to nothing is he who lives in frigid shadows of fear.
Maybe I have never truly known warmth.

I walk the streets like a war-worn shoulder.
A little cold, a little distant, a little too silent.
The words I have are recycled fragments of someone else’s life.
I don’t offer much.
Poker face.
Can you read my concrete stare?
I have an entire universe hiding in my back pocket
But I’m scared to show you.
It’s been so long since I groped or even fondled my own life.
I’m not sure what I do or don’t have to offer.
I just keep making bets and upping the ante.


Details | Free verse | |

my place in the sun

                   
                  
                   
                 MY
PLACE IN THE SUN


a life without
giving is a life not
worth living in
truth my mother was
right,
but a life in a home
unsafe and alone was
all that was in my
sight.
upon considerable
reflection their
abuse and rejection
made absolutely no
sense,
but being a kid I
took it I did  I was
too young to take
much offense.
 alone in my room I
did contemplate doom
in the laboring
silence of night,
and hanged my head
with thoughts of
dread with no
glimmer no inkling
of light.
but I made my way
out although filled
with self-doubt I
was unable to face
the truth,
that I had been
changed by the onset
of shame and my
suffering for years
is my proof.
grown up in the dark
with no sense of my
heart lusting for
bells and whistles
galore,
with  shoulds and
must haves and
quotas to mark life
left me empty and
longing for more.
in search for truth
throughout my youth
I found money and
power and fame,
I was distracted by
the lie of glitter
passing by all for
the sake of my name.
now I find myself
thinking on days of
my drinking and
years of chasing a
lie,
the cheating, the
fighting and
constant denying of
a self so consumed
by false pride.
I want to emerge
from the dark where
my hope ignites
spark and my mind is
no longer obtuse,
where the veil has
been lifted with
heart freed to love
and with mercy I
embrace my truth.
where speaking in
verses and walking
with purpose I could
shine brighter than
bobbles I hold,
under shadows of
trees with the earth
beneath my knees
where there’s
treasures for me to
behold.
I’d have no fear of
new faces and could
be in embraces
instead of the whirl
in my head,
and humbly ask
questions and wait
for the answers and
be free from the
pain that I shed.
with a new found
confidence from the
hand of providence I
could feel like I’d
finally won, a life
that is lived from
the inside out if I
could just find my
place in the sun.



Details | Free verse | |

Minds lost are Minds Found

I’m losing my mind in a hurry!
Maybe, maybe, losing the mind is letting it find itself
or maybe, i'm just crazy

I keep running  with anticipation, with heart open and judgment closed
[I discover most superbly this way]
 Foolishly Dropping it, hoping that it’ll pick up something useful
On sidewalks, books, table-top salty discussions,
Sometimes in filth letting it pervade the crevices
And when I tidy it, sometimes
It doesn’t all come out, but I try my best
Ever so often, after a new dish soap and scrubbing gloves
 it comes out cleaner then it ever was, 
With spicy remains of the crude yet true substances

Chunks fall out where the glue of stability erodes 
                  I know that I am fond of it this way
So I can put them back together
                   With my own fingers


                                                     Organized C   H   A   O   S


Instead of the media’s, my peers, my parents, piloting
The pivotal pieces 
I let them descend tenderly into location
In my own decimal code
I constitute the regulations here
This belongs to me, my only
Safe place

It doesn’t matter to me if life doesn’t flow
If it’s jagged or slow, here
I don’t care
If insanity is the real sanity
Or that distinctive is incorrect
This is my society and I shape it as I please
Seeing as it only affects me
As long as my mind is 
In flurries of expansion
I don’t really care if it’s lost at all


Details | Free verse | |

Is it a dream?

In my minds eyes
My enemies are my friends
and my "Friends" 
that helped me in the beginning 
might soon be the cause of my ends.
In my minds eyes 
I try to be the sunlight 
during my loved ones rain
Thinking I'm the joy
But in reality 
I'm the pain
In my minds eye
Am I the reason you failed
life's test cuz I didnt teach you
Or help guide you enough like the rest?
In my minds eyes
Did I only dirty your soul
more and make it rough
When I thought I was cleaning you
by showering you with my love?
In my minds eye
I'm rich in live but poor in spirit
Let me mess up just once
Just like "CNN" every hour on the hour
I'm guaranteed to hear it
If this is a dream
I'm ready to wake up
Somebody please ring the alarm.


Details | Free verse | |

Immersed

Where now does the black rose sleep?
The rains that fell before, bleed harder.
On grass that does not weep.

The lightening’s strike bears no sound.
Yet bursts afresh the stony ground.

Where hence do the voices go?
Their melody dancing, around trees flits.
Downwards on with the rivers flow.

Concealed within the morning mists.
I kneel with hands raised in fists.

Where then did the crows’ murder fly?
Leaving bones as their scar, laid fields bare.
And as vultures retook the sky.

Sea’s advance wrecks the iron ship with rust.
It’s foundations break, crumbling our chains to dust.


Details | Free verse | |

fine indigo soup

the night
promised
more than dreams
my eyes
closed
seeing stars
as they are
wildly thrown
perfection
knowing
i would be
here
this table
destined
the sky is
fine indigo soup
steaming overhead
and 
god is
the server.


Details | Free verse | |

Worst Love Poem Ever Written

I suck at dying poems
Chemo poems, Metastatic Cancer poems,
Hair falling out in the shower poems
 
And I told a half truth
When I told you I could write you one
In less than six months (It's been eight)
I apologize for being so late

 
I wanted your poem to be pink and graceful
Like those ribbons
I see all over the internet
Filled with cheesy generic rhymes
That read like a Hallmark audition

  But already my metaphors are melting
And my similes are getting soft
 I guarantee you the rhyme meter will be off

 When I went to Google
And the typed in the word 'happy'
Three billion links came up

Not a single inference to
Breast cancer, hair loss
No redirects to mastectomies
Yahoo wasn't any kinder

 
The only thing research could teach me
Is that a good day on chemo
Is when your stool doesn't come out tar Black
And has no blood in it

Or when your urine
Smells better on Wednesday
Than it did on Tuesday

Sleeping less than 12 hours
When 24 would be better

  
America has more poets
Than it does alcoholics
   And Pot smokers combined
And you chose me to be
Your Breast Cancer
Poet Laureate

Trusting me to write a poem
About the biggest battle in your life

So I refuse to finish this poem
Without something bright and hopeful
 
And don't think
I didn't notice your Facebook activity
Had decreased by 88%
In the last three months

 
And you aren't really
Coming to any more of my poetry shows
Ever again. Are you??
But we still have March, April
Don't we?

 
But even if you had one breast
Or no breast

Or if you had less hair than I do
I promise to look only in your eyes
And never ever even notice
Or even think about it

And never for a moment
Would I feel sorry for you

Yes I suck at lying too...

 
But I don't suck at loving you
Or at hoping you wake up tomorrow morning
 With no Cancer at all
And that The Eiffel Tower will be right outside
Your bedroom window...

And I would be right there with you
Holding your hand while we look down on Paris
And you can impress me with your French again

 
And if I ever make it
To the Pulitzer Poetry board
I might lose a thousand points
Just for this poem alone

And my hopes for the prize will be smitten
And some old person 
With white hair will say
That was the worst love poem ever written


Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Free verse | |

Senility

The rainbow of reason ends
With a pot of gold and jabberwocky.
When hippocampus dwells in solitary,
       silent,
              eerie,
                    forgotten dormitories
of the expatriated mind.


In planned visits 
To familiar spaces,
When elapsed faces are still hailed with fervor, 
         and hasty,		
                 eager,
                      vivid candor,
As though they had never gone.


Deep in thought
In cavernous bowels tangled lost, 
Remote repartees recurring restlessly. 
          Cautious,
                      wary,
  	                    and ever leery	
of echoing footsteps anxiously nearing, as though someone might overhear. 


As even eyes fail to mirror
The twilight of past vigor,
Speaking in feeble voices muddled beneath walls,
            beneath walls,
	           beneath walls,
	                     beneath walls.
Walking politely in ancient, and empty, imaginary halls.


The stars stop still and unfleeting
Listening to last breaths, and the heart’s last beating,
To hearken timid last words from the past's last illusions,
            past apparitions,
                         past veritas
                                   past delusions,
Where celestial alae still go a-flutter with lost aspirations.


When the frail hand that once held and sheltered
Cannot even rattle dandelion clocks,
Or crush delicate imago wings into dust,
          and caress, 
                  and feel,
                           and touch, 
Save for Elysian veldts
Where the rainbow of reason ends.



Details | Free verse | |

I Do Believe

"I Do Believe" 

The purpose of LIFE is to {Living In Faith Ever} 
to enrich God within us 
to an optimum level 
so that We as Humans 
can be guided by God 
to fuel out brothers and sisters 
with the same driving force 
to connect with the living God, 
to His existence and 
to See the Invisible, 
Believe the Incredible, and 
to Receive the Impossible 
to our everlasting journey 
to Heaven.

Rev. Samuel Mack
Copyright 2013

http:paladinnews1.blogspot.com


Details | Free verse | |

Moments In Time

The sweetest sounds of burning trees
A gentle stroking in the breeze
The calm has lasted past the storm
Cloudy visions, Satan’s roar
Too many sights have passed my way
A time found only in the haze
The softest screams are running bare
My aching bones creak as I stare

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark

The battle’s started at the end
No one is coming to repent
The sinners grab their wine from prey
No judgment calling here to stay
The sport is reckless to be told
The one is laughing at his souls
It falters nowhere to be sure
The power grows forevermore
Like a spirit in the wind
I have no say in where you’ve been 
But cross the line to come to me
And pay the price for ecstasy

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark. 


Details | Free verse | |

It Can't Be Real

A truth in rage of insult furrows my mind
For it is only an offense given to me by myself
In the mouths of others far innocent than I
I feel the tears trickle down my cheeks
For I have surfaced into an ugly mistake
I am always inadequate in this brain
I try to shine like the advice of grace given
But confidence rarely rears its head my way
There’s a sort of shade blocking its way
A shade that darkens everyday

That very shade led me to believe my feelings are wrong
That I will never belong so long as they are not controlled
I must be careful—for the lines of love and lust run cold
I hate myself truly this night
And no one but myself will give me the right
The very right to degrade my every being
Because you are not seeing what I am seeing

There is no point
My lines run cold
Can I be so bold as to say
I still love with a pang of indistinguishable doubt 
All feelings enter in
As my truth blurs and checks out

Your words pierce me so deep
I cannot describe the pain I feel
God it hurts so bad
It can’t be real

Much like the love I have come to embrace
The very love that links to your face
Tears don’t give it justice

It can’t be real
Much like the love I will never face


Details | Free verse | |

Tension Waiting

The swordsman who draws his blade
Heart racing at the keening of steel on scabbard 
Tension coiled, poised for the unleashing
Held back by muscles tight with glee.

I am as the soldier, held in stance,
The lioness crouched beneath the concealing grass
As it sways back and forth, as insects sing along the day
Her every breath is halted, her veins do not pulse,
And just as the swordsman stands
They are statues in this moment,
Statues of derision,
Mocking, with their stillness, the very charged tension within.

And I am as the lioness frozen before her pounce
Coiled with motivation and purpose,
And I am as the tongue held with words clinging off its’ edge
Ready to lash out and strike with direction
But I am as the frozen purpose, held tight
Waiting, for a warrior to stand before me
For a reason to uncoil, to lash out with words and pounce.

But I am now as the pen halting before the purest of paper
White and supple, in askance for the lightest touch
A slash of the tip, drawing lines in ink
Lines like a hunter’s bowstring, taut with intent,

As the pen lies frozen above its prey, the falcon petrified aloft still winds
I am the need coiled tight like a wound jack in the box
But alas, there is no victim to frighten,
No pray to pounce upon, no sword or bared neck to slash against
And I am here, with pen frozen, ink ready to be drawn taut
And I have nothing to draw in the ink, no prey or purpose to evoke
I am coiled tight with energy, but it is release that so eludes me,
I am coiled tight with purpose, but it is direction that so denies me.

And here I am, pouncing at ground before me, 
Slicing away at the air around me
Scratching away with a dry pen, on paper still white in askance
I write about…
I write about the coil within, and the lack without
And alone I wonder,
Is it enough, is it enough to go on, a wound up box
Waiting for the slightest touch, the weakest parry, to live.


Details | Free verse | |

Voiceless

Misunderstood, trapped and rarely
considered an equal; confusion
dominates many faces that try to
comprehend my broken voice.
No-one seems to recognise my
body language and unusual hand movements.
Wrong conclusions are drawn towards
my level of intelligence; many view me
like a lost child desperate to be one with
its mother.
I may speak the English language but
it appears broken; my voice is thus 
lost, like a treasured belonging long 
been misplaced somewhere unknown.
My hearing remains but I speak like
a deaf person; hand gestures are made
to try to convey my thoughts and emotions,
sadly, hardly anyone has learned how to
interpret someone like myself.
I am voiceless and thus I seem not to
belong in this world of fragmented images
of what is deemed normal.
Regardless of my affliction I remain as 
whole as I can possibly be.


Details | Free verse | |

Why Is It

Why is it that pressure feels so heavy?
When pressure isn't solid.
Why is it that tears of anger hurt more?
When anger isn't sorrow.
Why is it that life is a challenge?
Life should be a gift.
Why is it that car was there?
In that right place. At the wrong time.
Why must I live my days in memory?
Ten years still don't block that moment.
Why can't I be stronger?
Make you proud of me. I know you're watching.
Why is it that you didn't look the same?
In that bed. In the hospital.
Why did I hug that woman?
The one who hit you. She brought a plant.
Why did I say 'She'll be okay.'?
I hoped. Knew it wasn't somehow.
Why did it have to happen right after our phone call?
Two more seconds you'd still be here.
Why are we left with all these questions?
Spoken out into empty air.
Why am I still here?
There must be something I'm meant to do.
Why?


Details | Free verse | |

Deaf and Gone

I am whatever you say I am...
but, let's get back to reality...

       Three short years ago, this room shined welcome mats across a screen of doldrums.
A place of unfamiliarity that screamed, 
"You don't belong!"
Yet, a voice of reason spoke and said,
"Expand yir' roots. Venture beyond the comfort zone. Academia resides inside that room, but know you won't be alone."
Repeatedly,brainwaves declined what my wife and editor had told me.
I'd say,
"no way, I'm givin' up my soul for free, they read, they pay, like it's always been, the way it's going to always be!"
Unbeknownst to me one day, and with a slight of hand, my "Open Sores" were put on display and surprisingly more than a handful of great ladies and nice guys began to give feedback on what I had devised. 
This interaction was something very new, helpful, and impressive. For a change, it was something real.
For years, those around me were quick to give praise with hidden reasons. Constructive criticism is amazing, and I welcomed being corrected or set straight.
Now there are those who choose to shut me down without explanation, and call me names.
DO NOT mistake me for sophomoric! These words bleeding from my guts have no style and need no approval. There is no thinking involved here, no plan. If you don't like it, fine...don't censor or bracket me in. So what if I am illiterate?  If you don't like "street poetry" or the pathetic stuff I write, don't read it. If I offend you, tell me.
We should welcome those who are different than us. 
Words of truth inspire movement, like fire.
I came to this room to expand my horizons, step outside the box, learn, help, grow. 
There will be no apologies dealt for being different, or for being labelled as something uncomfortable to you. 
This has been an ok room so far, but there is some clique trickanery going on.
If the dictionary must come into play, let me recommend looking up the term "Poetic License."
True, I may not be the writer you prefer, or aspire to be....but tread carefully my friend, for you have no idea of my profession. I've made a fine living, for a good long time, spewing words onto paper. I came from nothing, and may still be nothing to you...still, I do what I love, have no boss.
I am not an aspiring writer who dreams of a life, I live my dream. In conclusion, I must wish you luck in finding what you peddle poetry for. Until then, keep 


Details | Free verse | |

I'm Your King

A burst of white light gamma rays, overbearing a flash of brilliance burns through to my soul everything is like hell the world starts to melt in the blink of an eye just the cold blackness of night I don't care if I am not again what I once was, for at this moment I am greater now than ever before I took the path between teetering, tight roping walking right up to my right divined in my unholy state I thought I told you I am your king still you sit there, hesitating I know you hate me what does that mean? I hate just about everything still I'm chosen I did not wish before now bow down to me refuse me no more for I shall always be your demon until you accept me as your King. I don't even know you though you say we used to be best of friends, you and me the day you ditched me I remember now exactly how it played out back when we were just tiny things even back then I still was King you thought me stupid just a ruse I would laugh inside, you see? not one of you single, mean people ever even knew me in a world, mostly seen to me that is why only I can be your true King and bring forth a new source of light everlasting. As two worlds collide slowly aligned one wrapped in shadows one bathed in white evils swirling in the clouds above I'll always be the king you love to hate or despise as in your blood I thought I told you, I am the one I am the way, the way out shall be shown breathe in my spirit as it carries you away breathe in my faith it shall carry your empty space and deposit you gently on a cloud just enough higher than you've ever dreamed of for I am king now, and your in my hell your in my imagination, I'll just never tell you'll feel as though dreaming, you'll feel now if you try and see you were always found the most shared in the light cast upon me the last bright star in heaven. Denounce my name, if you may One year later, still not afraid A black sheep, a darkened spade That's just life, I'm not right I'm in the wrong, follow along Like a piper, I'll pitch a song Mesmerized, the weak wills sing I thought he told you, he's still our king.


Details | Free verse | |

Perception

To see ourselves as others see us --
unmasked images, through others' eyes --
half-formed caricatures, perhaps --
or mere grotesqueries -- 
barely recognized, telling
what we thought to hide --
we'd label these as skewed
perceptions, not real truth...

But, no matter -- when once
I thought myself unfairly judged
and asked "How so?",
I was reminded of the obvious,
i.e.: all outcomes are determined
by perceived attitudes and actions.
Not truth, but clear perception,
pure appearance, guide others' thoughts
and so create the world we live in.

Thus,  however harsh,
"Perception is reality."


Details | Free verse | |

'Suspended'

drifting in and out or was it the other way around? floating away instead of towards what made sense both suspended in the air with only recognition as their measurement he wanted out she wanted in he pulled away her wish was for something more meaningful there they were trapped in something that held them captive too afraid to make the first move too afraid of what might happen suspended hanging onto promises both of them have forgotten with their feet halfway in the air still drifting in and out or was it the other way around?
210720111345


Details | Free verse | |

Your pain

Your pain Why do I feel your pain still When I left of my own free will My mind is heavy with the burdens you build Yet my heart is still tender And vulnerable to your every will When you’re hurting and making bad choices Your voice still touches my every emotion How is it that I still feel your pain Even when I have nothing left to gain Yes, I love you still But be with you, I never, ever will. You had my heart from the very start And slowly our love began to part Two became one, until one was none Off in separate ways for more than 365 days So how is it that to this day Your pain still finds its way Into my life and in my heart where it stays Lay


Details | Free verse | |

Reality's Angel

I am Reality’s angel resting on the broad shoulders of discovery the truth feeds darkness and engulfs its target ideas and concepts in turn become meaningless to you there is a creator of all things He is just and patient many still have fallen into the masses of shadow wrapped in their own filthy idols of philosophy I have seen grown men fall like rose petals and weaklings rise into unjust leaders forever the follower of furtive evil dominating only to remain inferior the most important answers lie in the unseen regions where no sense can fully give assurance the mind that so many unreasonably twist and turn grows weary because of the distance it must take and truth be told the distance is not what frustrates it is knowing we are seeking something far that could very possibly not exist, that our minds can twist into theoretical, idealistic nonsense it is knowing all we really think we know is meaningless and yes—even a lie all that has been written thus far rests under my wings under the warmth in which you refuse to feel can you believe in me— though I am completely unseen? how much more difficult would it be to see Him?


Details | Free verse | |

My Emily

She never did come back home that night
Me pacing the floor
Walking for miles in search of her
Leaving me torn apart
Spewing with the turmoil of wondering
Just what happened to her
Who had she been with and why?
Engraved on to my mind
her name
etched in my heart
her love, her sighs
Spiking my tongue
her name cries out
My heart splinters
my gut receives another jolt
God I loved that girl
and didn't even know for certain until today
But now it is too late
I left it too long
to proclaim my love for her
afraid of the pain 
which comes from being knocked back
still even that is not as I suffer now
in the whispering of her name
I look in the mirror 
yet see her reflection stare back at me
smiling and tossing back her flowing locks
her very presence is felt in abundance
Her huge eyes dark as purest deepest sapphires
class more expensive than purest diamonds
with a charismatic magnetism radiating out
overwhelming all within reach of her personality
Stolen from this world she was
No notice to anyone that she would be leaving
Nothing makes sense anymore
And I long to know if we shall meet again
Some new day in a realm beyone ours
Another time another place
I'll wait for her as I hope she will for me
For true love will never die




Based on a true story from Christmas when a young woman went missing - found murdered...  My thoughts went to those around her and inspired to write came this, but I have changed the girls name for the sake of those that knew her...  So sad to still have these things going onin our world...


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Turbulence

The voices grow louder, Intensifying with emotion, anger lining every aggressive word. My insides squeeze tighter as the vitriol poisons my mind, How does such hostility exist? As the sound of hatred deepens, The feelings strengthen their grip, like a vice, So tight, I can no longer breathe All the negative emotions I have ever felt, fill me, Threatening to overflow. So long have they been banished… Enough. No more! My mouth opens, An earsplitting scream of pain and suffering shatters the silence, Sobs of sorrow and grief wrack my body, Murderous shrieks of anger and hate, Wretched cries of self-pity and self-loathing, Poison the air. Now, free of these emotions. But the monster still exists Within the dark depths of my mind.


Details | Free verse | |

whispers in silence

What keeps me awake
When the cool breeze bears whispers of things to come
Promises to be fulfilled on the morrow?

Is it my joyless moment of cognizance
knowing that this stagnant night ripples from no real breeze
Only imagined promises birthed on the whims of a longing heart?

Yet, what keeps me awake
is not these dreams of flattering winds
but it is this night of lifeless branches and unrifled leaves
the lack of real whispering winds taunting my heart
What truly keeps me awake
Is the silence of tomorrow.


Details | Free verse | |

The Wasteland -Part 1-

How can one express the baffling depths of obscurity? How can one behold to open the shafts of the mind? I have never been able to solve the mystery— Of myself. . . I wish at times that my life was no more That I could live as another and finally see things right But I am always stuck in this darkness And I cannot see this mind in light There are beasts. . .demons prowling through the wasteland Searching for any remaining life And if they are ever found— They are doomed and consumed Fear is their downfall and they never fail to smell it Their ashes remain, dancing with the imaginary breeze It is silent here—there are no answers I wish there were answers. . . But maybe there was never a reason No answers. . . Talons extend and clench around my heart They will never seek me out—they left me here It is like they knew…I had no reason—that was the answer I feel the pulse of my dangling life Alone in the dark, whimpering like a child I have scared myself, becoming this dragon-daggered youth No balm in Gilead! No eyes to see All I know will never be free I don’t need anyone! You are a disgrace—scum of the waste! You have everything, you ungrateful little nothing You are a joke. . . So swallow it all up like the pushover you are Stand your lowest and trudge right through No questions. No answers. Just . You. Or just lie back down into the mush of disease It has already infected you to the core Accept who you are, you ugly pestilence! I hate you Who are you to be glorified? Dream snatcher. . .murderer of all things bright Saturated in what you call light I see right through—even as the reflections shatter All of the dead kept you alive—they all matter… But alive you are the worst there is False savior—edited attention whore I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I hide. . . Desperation. . .desperation. . . I sob and cry kneeling in defeat For once I am right. . .I am right


Details | Free verse | |

'Treasured Commodity'



The reflection says 
you've outgrown us 

I somehow feel sad – 

That which we once had 
has become redundant 

The other side of the coin 
says I should be happy 
‘Cause you've found that inner power,
the ability to go out on your own

and yet letting go
   is like losing 
a part of me 

that object that I’ve grown 
accustomed too –

So I’ll be a bit teary 
even feel a bit used 
but I’ll always be grateful 

no one knew the role you played 
sometimes not knowing 
is a treasured commodity


©120720121045


Details | Free verse | |

My Dilemma

Mind wondering from here to there
Thoughts of what is and is not
Is a person better to stay here on earth
With family that is going on into their own world

                             OR

Reaching up and praying to be with loved ones
Who are waiting for you at heaven's gate
Mind wondering from here to there
Thoughts of what is and is not


Entry: A Dilemma Contest
Sponsor: Joe Flach
Honorable Mention


Details | Free verse | |

In Her Fathers Arms

The evening star glowing in a dust choked sky. A girl stands by a window, with a tear in her eye. She stares at the scene, hardly visible through the grime. She whispers in the wind, “Bring my Dad home this time” She opens the window, and climbs outside, Having a flashlight, in her hand, as her guide. Its glow shows the sides of the street. She’s afraid for what the light will meet Bodies piled everywhere she turns, She wants to go home, and never return. What brought this fate upon her town? All her emotions are stripped and torn down. A frightening sound explodes in her ear. Shadows in the road now appear. She run and hides behind a broken wall Praying to god the rest doesn’t fall. Footsteps coming closer to her She can’t tell who because it’s all a blur She backs away further so not to be seen in light, Quieting her heart pounding from fright. Gun shots and screams fill the air, All these sounds, her ears couldn’t bear. A slight whimper slips from her lips, And over the broken stone she trips. The shadows run closer, showering her heart with fear, She wishes they would just disappear. They pass by her; she fills with delight, She just wants to see her dad tonight. She shines the light, to show her place, And to the shine comes a familiar face. She doesn’t understand who’s to blame Because on the tag shows her father’s name. She holds in her tears and refrains from crying. She falls to the ground where her dad was lying. She lifts his arm and buries her face in his chest. She closes her eyes wanting to forget the rest. The shadows emerge yet she doesn’t see, How close the end for her would be. They look down at her, aim, shoot, and fire. Being with her dad is her only desire. The night had ended causing a little girl harm But she took her last breath, in her father’s arms.


Details | Free verse | |

First Thing You Should Know 2

First thing you should know, is this isn’t a poem, it’s not a story, it’s not a song.  These 
are just the mad ramblings of a genius with a headache. 
Watching the smoke curl between his fingertips, he wonders.  Is it his body that’s on 
fire or his soul?  Physically he feels fine yet he sees the flames, inside the pain is 
excruciating yet, not a scratch to be seen.  Isn’t that a thought though, not a scratch to 
be seen on his soul.  Why is it that the scratches and cuts that do the most damage are 
the ones you can never see?  How can that much pain not leave a visible mark?  How 
much pain can the soul take before it turns into the story of humpty dumpty, never to 
be put back together again?  Isn’t it funny how you can forget your dying, when you 
have died inside?
First thing you should know, is this isn’t a poem, it’s not a story, it’s not a song.  These 
are just the mad ramblings of a genius with a headache.


Details | Free verse | |

Staccato Heart

Sometimes I think you can hear
The raging tide in my chest  
Sending waves to my throat.
Do you see them crest at my wrist?
Plunge, recede, and plunge again -
Your undertow has sucked me in.
Like skipping stones over water,
My staccato heart is lost at sea.
No metronome can tame it.  
No borrowed breath can save it.


Details | Free verse | |

Ocean In The Deep Space Of My Heart

I’m diving deep down into the ocean world full of spectacular plasmatic bubbles enchanting creatures breathed them out orange, yellow, pink , purple and red wallowing through dazzling soft neon-colored starfishes in quest of its most marvelous graces weeds with various tones of green wagging gracefully along the way like curtains in musical enchantments and coral reefs in mountain ranges with their majestic beauty in carousels of fish and seahorses still diving deep down into the ocean world in quest of its marvelous graces in unfathomable depth of rainbow-colored whirlpools deep within I see from afar my precious pearls
8th Place Winner Contest: Space Odyssey Judged: 10/5/12 Sponsor: Poet Nathan -----D September 21,2012 by Leonora Galinta


Details | Free verse | |

Carbon Monoxide (CO) Week 2: Carbon Cabrona

Smokeless inhales hurt.
I cough tar on my shirt.
As my black lungs breathe,
Shrilling exhales wheeze.

Cabrona
Falls me
Down to
My knees.

The nicotine cracks
My will.
My composure
Spills.

I want 
This.
I must 
Have this.

I sink
Into
The brink
Of madness.


Details | Free verse | |

Me, Myself, and I.

I am doing this for myself.
I am done being hurt.
I am tired of the heartache.
i wish i never met you sometimes,
i am tired of you being a jerk,
you hated it when i told you how i felt now you don't get to hear or see me anymore.
you broke my heart.
you have hurt me more than anyone in my life.
why do you act like you don't care?
you think your gods gift to women.
i know you do almost every guy i know thinks that.
i have had so many offers that i had to refuse because i'm still not over you.
i know i should be but, but maybe we were meant to be if we were you blew it, and you can't 
say that you weren't happy with me cause i know you were you told me everyday that you 
loved me even when you broke my heart into tiny little pieces you said "i will always love 
you".
i don't know if you do or not i'm just sayin' how i feel cuz maybe one day you will realize that
"hey i'm stupid for lettin that girl go", NO ONE will love you as much as i still do.
and until you realize that don't come around me, cuz if you were to show up right now i don't 
know what i would say because i'm really hurt and anything could come out of my mouth 
and and i wouldn't care!


Details | Free verse | |

The Price of Love

One day I birthed you into this land
We watched you grow as we held your hand
You sucked your fingers during those years
Then you brought your parents many tears

I cried because I didn’t understand
All these hardships were not in my plan
The choices you made were not just for you
They affected the family too

I vented with friends for oh so long
One day I began writing poems
Poems I wrote came straight from the heart
I wrote about you from the very start

Night after night you would stay away
Deep down in all I could do was pray
I would walk the floors night after night
I learned my son was no where in sight

What did I do to cause all this pain
Why was my heart feeling all this strain
Mom didn’t tell me of these sort of days
I guess this’s the price that love pays


Details | Free verse | |

You Already Know

I'm not great.
I'm not extraordinary,
But I'm okay knowing that
Just as long as you 
Love me
For being
Who I am when I'm 
Discovering who I am
And how I cope.
I don't work with metal;
I don't work with wood.
All I have are my words,
Spoken in 
Hopefully, a poetic way.
I speak and I speak,
But when I write,
In a way,
Nothing gets spoken.
I'm not motivational;
I'm not inspirational,
But as long as I 
Move a wistful soul
From time to time, I'm good.
I'm cold,
Scared,
Confused,
But it seems
I'm running out 
Of time 
And people to talk to.
I want to speak
With my words, but
It seems only my
Ranting of how I'm 
Stuck and lost 
Gets my point across.
I can send your mind
In a spin;
Only because 
I am constantly spinning
With overindulgences 
Such as
Being loved 
And even hated.
I spin from giving,
And, in return, 
Being spun some more.
Puzzles compose
Every metaphor.
Time-
Power-
Love-
Effort-
Trust-
Life in general;
Only, I tend 
To put pieces 
Where they belong,
Then come to discover
That, later, they grow
And start to mesh.
I don't know
If, looking back, 
I'll only see me 
Waisting my time 
Or looking over
What helped me through it.
I couldn't tell you
That everything I cherish
Will be there
Or even here tomorrow.
The ones who understand 
And know more
Of me than I do myself
Are the ones that
Keep me spinning.
So, here is me speaking.
I feel as if 
I'm looking through 
A narrow telescope
That is covered 
On the other end.
I see 
What I choose to see,
But what's that to 
The world?
They don't have the time
To keep up 
Or slow down;
Just
Going their steady pace
Until they find the time 
To waste it.
I wish,
I hope,
I wander,
But no matter
Where I go, 
I only see 
That I'm finding nothing.
My mind
Is tired, 
But my emotions
Are ready to fight.
Bring it on;
I can and
Continue to take your shots.
Take me-
Hold me in your arms
Until I'm safe
And fall asleep...
Maybe when I wake up
I won't be scared, confused,
Torn and lonely.
Maybe I'll wake up and realize
It was a dream and I'm safe
Because you are there.
I'm not great.
I'm not extraordinary,
But you know who I am 
And love me for it.


Details | Free verse | |

'Nowhere slowly'


all you hear is the clock ticking and you can't feel your heart beating time is in a rush to go nowhere slowly you wonder if you are allowed to go with on that rush to nowhere - afraid you might be left behind
©130520121715


Details | Free verse | |

Forgotten You

Forgotten you
As your mind collects the memories of yesterday
Forgotten You
Epiphanies tie into knotty strings of realization
That very moment. . . 
You merely exist

Back then. . .those smiles
Those. . .distant laughs
Some you remember by name
Gone now maybe
Like the exhalation of the wind
Others dispersed in the world of arbitrary happening
Like leaves from falling, man-made trees
There is no doubt that they have
Forgotten you

Activate the bomb
Ignite the fuse
And you’re on next year’s history book
Never forgotten
But drained of all remaining good

That smile you gave
That happiness
The warm embrace so long ago
Salt-coated with piles of rubbish
Over last remaining mental spurts of comfort
Evil, evil, evil, evil, EVIL. . .
Always absorbed and remembered
. . .though never forgiven. . .

All good and gracious sentiments
Packed up in a box set nonchalantly in Downstair’s storage
. . .that chair with the broken leg in the corner of the room
That mangled cobweb holding a dangling, lifeless spider
A drowned sailor’s hat drifting through the current of the ocean
The single tear from a soldier’s vigilant, memory-stricken eye
The frustrating thoughts of a mute
The unchanged. . .HATED deformations

Forgotten you. . .
One soul brings to light weary, unthought-of happenings
Wedged deep into what she can only imagine
With not even a hint of understanding
. . .of the pain. . . .of the bewildering distortions
Of the ugly. . .
One soul merely vomits sickly verse after verse

As humanity embraces its downfall
The poet hangs onto her unjustifiable, forgotten. . .
Words


Details | Free verse | |

Unphysical

I drop my words
Into a vacuum
-So there's enough room-
But they're vacuumed up
By the lack of air
'Cause I made no wings
To bear them

Without force
I let them go
I let gravity
Take it's course
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Go up in flames
Or slowly rust

All that's eternal
Is that's pure
Pain and hate
And love -no more

And I'm so scared
That it's all in my head
That life's a steady march
To dead
Dead ends
and culs-de-sac
Take one step forward
Then quick!
Turn back.


Details | Free verse | |

I Want to Disappear.

I cry so silently, my heart beats like it is not there. 
I wish I could wash away and disappear like I was never here. 
I want to vanish like there was never someone here.

Is there any hope? 
Is there any time?
My life is coming to an end and I will wash away in fear.

I cry so silently, my heart beats like it is not there.
I wish I could wash away and disappear like I was never here.
I want to vanish like there was never someone here.

My heart is screaming out.
Is there anyone to hear me?
Is there anyone to help me?

I cry so silently, my heart beats like it is not there.
I wish I could wash away and disappear like I was never here.
I want to vanish like there was never someone here.
                             like there was never someone here.
                                                             Someone here.

I want to vanish like there was never someone here.


Details | Free verse | |

Carbon Monoxide -CO- Week 3: Talkin' 'bout My 'noxide

The steady pull
of temptation--
a tease on
my resolution.

When I can sleep, 
I take what dreams 
afford me.
In these dreams,
my 'noxide comes
to ward me.

Her smoke is an invitation.
my conscience
falls for
the con science
of my imagination.
I give in
and reality spins.

Between the sleeps, 
I lie in sanity. 
I wonder:
Did I give into 
my humanity?
did I'd err?
Is that
smoke in the air?


Details | Free verse | |

Phantasmagoric Moments

For one moment I thought
Moons stars and kingdoms,
Humbly yielded to the spell of your tongue;
For I would never miss such an honour
When my heart still dies in front.

From the gravest yard in my groans,
In those rainy eyes of autumn,
You stole into the fragrance of my desert red bloom;
Despite the venom in my features,
You killed the old beast in my gloom.

For one moment I thought
Flowers, bees, and dew drops
Had never been bleeding forever;
The honey have they made
Fell us in love like a feather.

For one moment I thought
We stumbl’d upon each other.


Details | Free verse | |

Once Upon A Car Ride

Feel like that woman
Screaming, he betrays
They're stealing her
They're taking her
And everything shes kept safe
He Can't protect her
Not strong enough
Not brave enough
Nor man enough
To understand her horror
And how she will remember
The rest of her life


Details | Free verse | |

Isolation Keeps

Along roads where mistral sweeps
Loneliness within ambles on
Every other step falling, keeps isolation
While, happiness continues out of sync


Details | Free verse | |

Carbon Monoxide (CO) Week 1: O.D.A.A.T.

Chain smoke until
I'm in care of the CO.
There's one left, still.
I smoke it really slow.
"It's the end," I anticipate
As the last inch evaporates.

I can't get
Over it;
It's over before 
I know it.
Butt, I can't quit.
I'm possessed with this 
Obsession; I'm addicted.

My lungs have oxygen,
Yet I'm suffocating inside.
I can't breathe again
Without my 'noxide.


Details | Free verse | |

Human Frailty

...Apologies to Heraclitus and W. H. Auden...

We, defeated by the merest things,
in defeat, endure...for now.

No abiding truth in "faith":
origins and destinations
we cannot differentiate,
all random, unguided
by any prescient power;
but, not illogical (there is no illogic.)

We impose all "universal order,"
influence what subsequently occurs,
to learn, or not, through endless repetition,
endless failure...and we are
but a current iteration,
here for now -- like all,
in constant flux,
defeated by the merest things.

Courage and nobility derived
from continued confrontation,
continued endless struggle,
let us "show an affirming flame."


Details | Free verse | |

A POSSIBILITY

A POSSIBILITY

A return to those glory days of old
When most men wore guns, were nurtured bold
Was it war after war, movie violence,
So many to morn, the deathly silence
Of those left alone, forlorn?
Is this insanity a virus strain
Once caught makes joy of inflicting pain?
We see them now in market, in mall
Stern faced, bearing arms, all
These hardy, frightened, determined men –
“Random shootings will never happen again!”
This is their motto, passionate cry
But millions more would surely die
If an evil air continues to world infect
Without choice, without care
Why tempt – with carried guns – the side of man is weak
When his goodly, Godly side is what we seek?








Details | Free verse | |

The silent cry

So the time has come
The silent letter with loud words has arrived
Hurting my pride making me cry a river
The morning chirping of the summer birds -
It’s as though they have stopped, my heart has dropped
I’ve lost the fight, I’ve lost my pride
Rushes of sadness anchor me down for the long ride
So slow and yet so fast and so completely out of control-
Where to go what to do?
Now I have to pack my life, into a box
Take what I can and let the rest standing-
Standing carelessly somewhere in the open air where people will stop and glace
The abandoned mess filled with blood red madness and the purple dress
A lifetime of memories hidden in these walls -
The childhood scrolls across the walls in crayons of blue and pink
And here I stand my arms held over the sink -
Gosh I can’t even think
“What will I tell my kids when they arrive home from school?”
“Oh God this is so cruel”
So ok I must be strong pull it together and just move on -
The single mothers fighting song
Maybe I can call my friend to help move us out 
Or maybe I should just silently shout! 
(Written for the Home Foreclosure contest!) 


Details | Free verse | |

Happily Ever Disaster

I looked up and there you were
My prince
My fairytale
My happily ever after

You stood by my side
You made me strong
You made me believe in you
I trusted you

I looked up and there you were 
My enemy 
My deepist fear
My worst nightmare

You brought me down
You broke me apart
You made me give up my hope
I loved you

I looked up and there you were
My living hell
My darkest night
My happily ever disaster

I'm saying fairwell


Details | Free verse | |

Hurt

I can't tell you what it is I can't even tell you what it feels like I can only tell you that it's the worst pain You'll ever feel in you life It'll feel like every bone in your body is breaking Like every breath you take will be your last Like every muscle in your body is failing to support you And thats only the least of it. There is so much more! You eyes will feel like they're bleeding from all the tears you'll shed. You tounge will swell with words that you can't say. Your ears will make you question everything coming into them. And your heart, Well thats the worst part of it! It will feel as though its stopped beating... And who knows, maybe it has.


Details | Free verse | |

A Letter of Love/Hate

This hurts too much,
Even though at times
Its the best thing ever.
However,  the pain I feel right now 
Is destroying all that I am. 
I feel worthless and dumb. 
Vunerable and used. 
I also feel loved and special. 
Beautiful and wanted. 
These feeling are so extreme in every which way possible.
I love how I feel when with you
I hate how I feel guilty when we part
I love looking in your eyes
I hate when mine cry
Your fingers along my face also touches her
Those lips that drive me crazy
Are sleeping against her neck tonight
I love who I am around you
I hate what I have turned into
I love the way you make me feel
I hate that she must feel that as well
No matter how good it feels
This pain is too much to bear
I love you
I truely truely do
But the hurt is not worth
The random few moments of bliss.
Goodbye, my love-hate lover
Goodbye





**Note**
This is a letter/poem I wrote for someone special. But it moves me so much every time i 
read it, I thought maybe someone else would enjoy reading it as well. 'To write is to share 
with the world, how we all feel but never speak of'     Lisa


Details | Free verse | |

If I Had to Paint My Aura this day

If I had to paint my aura this day.....

   I'd paint it with a worried brow

   crushed with marked questions.  

   Defeat would battle, que sera, sera

   with many bold slashes in helter skelter fashion.

   Within the field of greys background acceptance

   you'd find a face compressed on the canvas

   and on its cheeks, still, a tinge of iridescence sun

   the journey of the day just begun

------------------

As this day comes to an ending

  I'd paint it now with bruised puff shadows,

  from each--- blue teardrops flowing.

  A drooping lilly in a field of red roses. 

  Dejected, torn and faded patches

  on a pair of well worn jeans

  all these in a starless purple sky


Details | Free verse | |

CAPTCHA's Cruelty

HELP

The CAPTCHA took me by surprise tonight
Letters became ghouls in my mind’s eye
I listed them—
Noted them; words...begging, crying out for me

STAY

CAPTCHA was merely mocked
By millions of viewers on keyboards
I imagined all—
Tears began to fall

LOST

How may I help you, CAPTCHA?
Are you merely what they say?
Is there more—
Tell me, I pray

AAND

You bewilder my senses with your emptiness
The computer became my way to you
But all I could do—
Was imitate

CRYY 

I began to imagine someone stuck in CAPTCHA
A place where they harbored the weak
They took what they pleased—
Allowed them to speak

NNOW

Today it was happening and evermore
There was a reason I came to know
And now—
I want to know more

FOLL

I swallowed air and typed in the words
Feeling worthless and absurd
I began to believe—
There was more to this irrational dream

XOW3

The screen went black and then I was sure
I couldn’t doubt it anymore
The CAPTCHA wanted me—
The letters suddenly blurred and unseen

CAPTCHA
CAPTCHA
Let them go
CAPTCHA 
CAPTCHA
Full of woe
CAPTCHA
CAPTCHA
Take me now
CAPTCHA 
CAPTCHA
Tell me how to
CAPTCHA
CAPTCHA
Set them free
CAPTCHA
CAPTCHA
Knowing is free

Knowing is free

MMEE

For years I have copied your codes
Knowing you are there
Me—it’s me
Crying in the dark pit of despair

AAND

Though empty your words are to me
They are all I hear
All I fear—
In four letters on this electric trap

XXBX

What am I to do?
To follow would weary my soul
To save—
Would take its toll

FREE

What is this foreign word my dear?
Oh, how can you cut and paste it in my mind so clear?
Free—and then? 
Close your eyes and count to ten

The victims of the CAPTCHA remain a mystery to us all
Yet still we stare at the codes and merely imitate them
We are zombies staring our lives away
Trapped in CAPTCHA’s claws
Sad, deprived. . .
CAPTURED

I speak your language to stop this cruelty:

THEE 2TRUE TH78 IS9X BEF4 HOUR VERY EYES

Though we choose not to see
We choose not to fight
We choose only to IMITATE
We merely copy and paste

CRYY
CRYY
CRYY

GOOD
BAYE
BAYE
BAYE 







Details | Free verse | |

Truth

The truth leaks out
Standing there like a frail child
Taking the hands of the elder
Looking through the glass of lonesome
And seeing what rings real
Seeing what feels true
This gash in my heart mends
At the thought of you
But it never truly heals
Stranded in the wasteland of my mind
Brushed by burning cold winds
I fear there are no blinds over you
I fear you will see it
The flaws
The very flaws I use to stitch myself
Locked up inside all of these years
Shadows ready to be freed
Only to be followed by greed
The skies have lost all color
Through the stitching
Truth bleeds
Truth hurts so bad

The truth is I love you
But why am I so sad? 

I can't say a word
My feet are firmly planted on larvae
They slowly eat me away
Hoping I will be gone in time
Before you see
Before you see the truth
I don't want you to see
Perhaps if you only knew
That I love you
Perhaps you wouldn't have to open your eyes


Details | Free verse | |

Alive

And we are left here Like maggots—dirty, parentless…devastated Always feeding on the gruel…the cruel Fattening our lives in the moneyless bilk Shocking like a bee sting, yet soft as silk We are the forgotten I am watching the others grow rotten But I am cleansed and raw with glee Because…though blinded with slime…I SEE… I rise to the sound of the agonizing screams Of rapes, murders, of violent fists…weeping minds My definition of true finds… I smile when any possible hope arrives Fate laughs, knowing I constantly scream inside I am amused of it all…I can’t stop laughing As bitter tears began to fall I HATE ALL OF YOU… I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL… But I love that I can take anything From the nothing we have all been labeled The sick, the low…the mentally unstable Watch me roll up in a ball A naughty tease to death’s lull I love your silence… I love your intense fall And we are more alive than any of you We are crazed by your belligerence Aching to be emotionless SHARE YOUR INDIFFERENCE SHARE IT… Give us something to be left with So the others can die As Fate veers its head looking in the mirror Listen to her laughter—do you hear her? She watches and waits To find her maggots have grown wings… Screw your selfish indifference...we fall to fly We are more alive than any of you Though quickly we die


Details | Free verse | |

The brine, it is a calling

Elusive dreams, I wait on rocky shores
Looking out upon the waters of a troubled storm
Crashing, tearing, reaching to drag me under
Swirling about my ankles, slick rocks beneath my feet.
 
Will you reach for me when I am falling?
Will you watch me as I drown?
Will you feel any sorrow if I left you?
Would you help me find solid ground?
 
Siren voices whisper and entice me
Foggy mists beyond my reach
Dancing, calling, whispering of a silent sleep,
If I but release my hold and swim in waters deep.


Details | Free verse | |

Crackened

I have just scratched the surface of my latent hatred
Of my blind, awe-inspiring, narcissistic, misanthropic, vehement self
In Flames draws it
As, I believe, Nightwish will
There is so much power here, my heart is stone.
But inside, oh how is it acerbic!
Corrosive, burning
It burns! I feel… the burn

It yearns to burst out 
To… to kill
Do I mean that?
No, just thoughts.
Twisted, darkened thought.
Define me?
No, they do not.
The moment I turn this music off
I am out.
I am me.
But, right now, I am king.
A god, DO AS I SAY!
…and leave me be.
Desolate, forgotten.
Anything else is unsatisfactory
No… IT IS TORTURE.

So get away.
Get away!
Humans make me weak.
I acknowledge no pain,
only that which you give me

So leave! 
Go, go now! 
...and live.
It is all your fault,
it is all your fault!
My twisted, wretched existence
Bound by darkness,
Bound by rusted iron chains,
to this never-ending life
of pain, of misery, of anguish!
Escape? There is none.
Certainly not by your hand
You are foolish, you are human, and you are nothing.

How could you think us equals? 
Don’t you see me? 
Don’t you see my power?


Details | Free verse | |

What Is Perfection?

What is perfection? Is it the way you look?
Or just maybe the way you look at me.
You stole my heart just like a crook,
I just hope you cannot see.

I'm scared to death,
I don't know what to do;
I can't catch my breath
When I'm around you.

You say this is normal,
You say I'm alright;
You don't have to be formal,
I won't bite!

Just a brush of skin sends shivers through me,
I melt when you look into my eyes.
All I can see is eternity,
As my past dies.

Is it too soon to feel this way?
Am I going insane?
There's so much I'd like to say,
But is it all in vain?

How can I be sure I'm the only one?
How do I know your feelings are true?
I don't want to have it all come undone,
Because I didn't trust you.


Details | Free verse | |

Unglued

At times coming unglued
delaminated
Strands separating
vaguely holding their shape

I breathe in the breath of delirious spirits
swimming in circles around a splintered mind
I reach oblivions doorstep
cross the threshold
no bride in hand
yellowed fabric clinging to palms
I look out empty windows
reflecting the light of expended stars

I dream colored memories in spurts of black and white
draped over yesterdays celebrations
candles burnt at both ends
cakes with no surprises
Medals long tarnished
glitters that were never gold

Looking at darkened perspectives lit in the corners of my mind
wishing I could understand the point
blocks used to build knock down buildings
is anything made to last
what truly exists beyond a cybernetic world
keyboards stretched along distant desks
searching for answers
revealed stroke by stroke
interconnecting the unconnectable masses
Minds intertwined
grasping
at times coming unglued

I had another poet Marquis ask me to critique one of his poems and I suggested that if a line in the poem was not worthy of writing another poem he should consider taking it out. as a result I took a line from the poem I wrote for Drake and gave it a try, this is the result. My other poem was titled "Contorshinist's Test"


Details | Free verse | |

Submerged Cathedral

Sickle moon gray above the waves
The quiet directionless wind 
On the earth, and in the sky above 
A veil is drawn, cutting into dark spots 
Slowly round and round,  
Murals are etched into the sand  
The statue waits with eyes unblinking 
Silent wonder, solitary armless stone 
Twisted, counter-pose, forever fixed, 
Wonder, what does she see under water? 
Rusty bows and sterns, shipwrecks, 
Silvery fish fluttering in and out of hulls, a 
graveyard outside hallowed ground 

Archway, the great doors dark and closed
Murky, wet light pours in vaulted windows
Through water-worn edges of stained glass 
Seaweed tendrils curl around an altar 
Once, quiet processions marched up the aisle 
They are now only filtered ghosts, 
Murmuring, wavy impressions of what was 
Forever, the tide calls upon the great steeple 
And the lonely under-toe, 
Pulls a mote in the sand around her, 
To protect the bastion in the sea, 
Dark, lovely, lost forever to those above 


Details | Free verse | |

The Poet's Questions

Someone once told me that
If I can feel the words on the page
In my heart, then I am
A true writer.
But if I am so great a writer, 
What is the cause
For the writer's block
I sometimes get?
Or the poems that I write
That are extremely long,
But don't amount to anything?
Why do I sit down sometimes
To write, scribble out random words,
And crumple my paper up in frustration?
What makes my pencil
Refuse to spit out bright ideas
And brilliant words?
And why--how-- do poems bring me
Such pleasure,
When all they are
Are words on a page?
And if they are just words on a page,
Why are they so greatly appreciated?
Answer me that, and you will be
A true genius.


Details | Free verse | |

Hate-filled Love

I hate your touch and your smile.
Wicked little creature.

I hate your blue eyes and brown hair.
Sinful hate filled liar.

I hate your voice and your scent.
Rotten two-timer.

I hate you everything you do for what you did.
But we loved and touched, smiled, talked and connected physically.

You lied about our moments spend, 
you can't look me in the eyes.

You lead me on and stole my youth, 
but don't have the nerve to speak to me now.

I hate your beauty and your thievery;
but loved the way you made me fill.

I hate that you now do the same to another girl;
your lies blind her.

I hate the diseases you carry; 
love the infection you gave.

I love you and can't let go,
hate because I’m smarter than this.

I hate this poem because I think of you with every word...
Your eyes, your smile, your hair, your skin, and your kiss.

Most of all...

I love you for the time we had.
I hate you because you don't want me now. 


Now what???


Details | Free verse | |

To Give You My All

Where on earth have you fled to? I never wanted to just watch you leave Performing the abortion of abandonment Perhaps I was a disappointment for letting you go Flooded with ignorance, I just didn’t know I want to always be there for you To shine down upon your unseen, inner glow To see you smile with your brand new life And to share in the happiness of an open eye I simply do not know where you are Or what you are feeling right now But I should like to be your journey’s end A settlement of tranquility, yet arduous color Open up your demonizing doors I will give you more and more and more Until I have nothing left to give But myself My entire essence and being You deserve to see what I am seeing You deserve what is fairly yours And I am sorry for the absence I just didn’t know How to care for such a delicate masterpiece How to maintain a beautiful thing I never know what to say To bring you to peace Maybe I shall say nothing and fall To give you my all


Details | Free verse | |

Nightmare

Rest is a requirement,
for all,
in order to have this,
sleep is a must,
after a day’s of hard work,
wherein sleep is a must,
for all,
to freshen up the next day,
though the mind goes to sleep,
and the body follows suit,
the subconscious mind awakens,
and in lie,
a number of dreams,
awaiting you,
the dream,
that always reigns in my mind,
is the death of my wife, 
not once,
but more than a couple of times,
why does this dream,
often arise in my mind,
is the answer I seek,
is it because of the love we have towards one another,
or is it the compassion for each other,
or is it in relation of serving one another, 
or is it a kind of warning,
a warning to take care in the future, 
some people may call this as the sixth sense,
while I call this a nightmare,
as nightmares are really scary,
yes, nightmares are quite scary indeed, 
if you do agree with me or not!!

From:-Mr.Manu Nair (dated 19th November, 2012)


Details | Free verse | |

Cold

Voices bottled up, far away…out of reach
I still hear them, echoing in my brain
I try not to believe the fear—the disdain
So long I have avoided their gaze, 
But here they are again, at a distance—
All ablaze!

I toughened my shell that night,
From the amplified words drenched in my hands
I cried so many tears for no words came
Unionized by grief and frustration,
How could I ever embrace such abandon?

I thought I could recognize by the fruits
As they were right before my eyes
But within their very cores,
Tears blur the rotten cries
The very words and deeds unspoken—untold
The very truth you tamper and mold
As fists clench—as confused youth look on!
He fashioned you with gold! 

I hear gleeful harsh warnings—poetry—of the collateral damage of my brothers
Running up and down the streets—rampant to get at others
I try to see the beauty in every single shade
But now, all I can do is pray

Voices bottled up, far away…out of reach
I still hear them, echoing in my brain
I try not to believe the fear—the distain
So long I have avoided their gaze, 
But here they are again, at a distance—
All ablaze!

All I can do I can do is pray
All I must do is pray

As the fumes of the anger light up today
Destroying all trapped inside
Splitting the atoms of our faith
I promise you will fall!!!
How gleeful you all are!
I promise the unity is all a dream
Nothing’s like it seems

Inside, I feel blood boiling, but I cringe
Refusing to add to the chaos
My voice box bludgeoned by their fears 
Replaced with stranger’s tears

Too long have I avoided my gaze
In the mirror showing nothing but the hardened
Unable to recognize the rot within
I stay…I pray
Until true words heal and answers free
And the rest I leave in the hands that see

Here they are again
Within me, around me
Surrounding me
Frozen—cold… unfeeling, BOLD. 

He fashioned us with gold
He fashioned us with gold


Details | Free verse | |

Happy

When I’m all alone
I try to kill the thought of you
Assuring myself
You’re just a ghost passing through

And now that you’re here with me
I feel the need to soar and fly
Only thing is:
I’d much rather crawl away and die

I don’t want to be happy 
I don’t want to fool myself
I don’t want to feel the pressure
Of putting on a heaven in hell

I don’t want to be your angel
I don’t want to face the growth
I don’t want to be happy
I don’t want the aching truth

You never saw me in your stride
As I smiled wide in my heavenly hide
Believing in myself without a chance
Not able to grasp this ghostly romance

You smoked me like a cigarette
Burning out my love, leaving butts of regret
And all the time I laugh and smile
As you see right through me all the while

I don’t want to be happy
I don’t want to live a lie
I don’t want to feel your leisure
As I crumple down to die

I don’t want to disappoint you
I don’t want to show and tell
I just want to see you happy
Just leave me in the dark to dwell


Details | Free verse | |

the flying monkey

there once was a flying monkey who didn't know what to eat.  so he ate the old scraggly poop hanging from his butthole.  His friends thought he was weird but i didnt. i do that all the time.  it tastes good.


Details | Free verse | |

Shadows in Hiding - collaboration with Jake Ponce

Written by: David William Breidenthal and Jake Ponce 

D: Blessed breeze sweeps over us 
J: Whenever I leave the door ajar at night, 
J: I felt myself grow pale from the humid howls 
D: Gravity pulls us down to the ground 
J: Shadows in hiding have been found 
J: Shadows in hiding have been found

J: There were irises staring into mine 
D: The twinkle in your eyes were like stars that shine 
D: When I forgot to lock the gate behind me, 
D: I felt this sensation of indignation 
D: I felt guilt overflow in me contritely...woefully... 
J: My fists trembled and I could see the roses 
J: Split from their vines, out my flesh and into your cells 
J & D: Shadows in hiding have been exposed

J: Now I stand in front of the mirror, perplexed 
J: At the man that I thought has ceased 
D: The man that lingers in my dreams 
J: The man I know I no longer could be 

D: The Earth is slowly breaking at the seams 
J: Dividing me into sheets of empty sins 
D: But he soon vanished from sight 
J: Shadows in hiding have been found 
D: And blended with the pale, cruel moonlight 

J: Clouds then rise to whisper 
J: That all this and I are done… 
J & D: Shadows in hiding are skipping to and fro
J & D: Shadows in hiding are sinking exceedingly low
D: The doubts possess me…hope lost its shine and good luck lost its fortune 

D: The moon begins to reflect my sorrow-whelmed face 
D: Like a two-sided mirror, revealing to me my flaws and wrinkles 
J: As I implore the forces to grant me borrowed life 
J: And with a grin, I'll paint tomorrow's sky 
J & D: Shadows in hiding coil and let out a cry
J & D: Shadows in hiding reach from on high 

D: The sun is wearing a mask of disdain and I'm not done with this race 
J: There is an ache holding me captive…
J: There is a force keeping me in place 
D: I’m trying so desperately to keep pace
D: I'm trying to keep a steady pace with my heartbeats, sending me tingles 
D: Down my spine...down my spine… 
J & D: Shadows in hiding are serpentine, moving through me
J & D: Shadows in hiding was crawling down my spine, never leaving me be
D: Set me free, set me free 

D: Feeling these Goosebumps – I’ve lost track of time 
D: The church bells peacefully chime
J: And I can hear the advances of the clocks 
J: On pale green horses, saying they'll meet me at the docks 
D: Feeling like I'm honestly living in the dumps 
J: With my chest hacked open like a cellar 
J: And I'm left alone with my last glass of the finest wine 
J & D: These shadows in hiding – I refuse to claim it as mine
J: Yet, the shadows in hiding have been found

D: Open up the cage and let me take flight, I won't heat up in rage 
D: I'm just adjusting to this difficult stage 
D: Are you on the same page? 
D & J: Soon, we’ll unveil the shadows in hiding 
D: It will graze in the maze of mystifying wonders…It might take days
J: Perhaps I should get going 
J: To see the northern lights down the forest haze 


Details | Free verse | |

Backfire

What’s the use of trying any longer?
Nothing comes out the way I want it to flow
Words perpetrate my every being
And I strain to get my temperament to slow
But my cognizance is reeling in a panic of waves
The voltage of emotion is overwhelming me
What is this journey impending to?
What is my purpose?
To obliterate or build?
I keep assurances only to splinter and shatter them
I melt into their regrets and apologies without looking back
Then I am slapped right back in the face
With my own waves of shame and qualm
I wish I was like you
I wish I could put a guise on and never show my face
I wish I could take a dagger and extinguish the sorrow
Destroy tomorrow
But it keeps coming back with twinges and pains!
I want to scream my way into your existence
I want to end all the overwrought thoughtlessness
I want to be lifted in your ease
To be beautiful and clever like you
The demon is me and I am foaming with misery
My horns are melting by your pertinacious confrontations
I can’t reply to the desolation of nothingness
I can’t make it all go away
I’m trapped! RELIEVE ME!
Cursed adrenaline rushes about me
My body is prickling and waterlogged in blackness
I swallow the poisons of my backwash
And back-fire every stab in the back


Details | Free verse | |

Untwisted

Sometimes the memories won’t fade 
         All the places we have seen
         All the prices we have paid 
The memories of the happy as well as the sad 
            The people we’ve lost
           The friends that we had 
Some memories just seem like a ghost 
I always lost everyone that I loved the most 
The wind would just carry them away 
             Along with my tears 
            And my ability to pray
    I wonder how far is heaven from here?
              How many more heartaches 
                 How many more tears 
              I wonder how far it is away
Because I have so many things that I wish to say 
To all the people that I loved and I lost 
             I’m not even tripping 
             My heart paid the cost 
The reaper rode the river in a bikers disguise 
I’ll never forget the fear in my mother’s eyes 
    As he drug her under and then let her go 
Through my four year old veins hate started to grow 
My eyes were blind my ears were deaf 
After that I forgot  
           There was anything left  
Karma is like poker for it is bound to luck 
When I was just a boy 
God through me under the truck 
Of all the things in life we feel 
   We are all bound to God’s will 
Passion is a doorway between love and hate 
    God is the dealer in the game of fate 
              Our place is not to question why 
                       For if we do our faith will die 
            The deeper we hate the deeper we love 
            I was gifted wisdom by the Lord above 
                    Every gift comes at a price 
A world of experience behind my advice 
     Every smile holds a lifetime of pain 
Nothing that happens should happen in vein 
                         It is our choice that which we do 
 Know in your heart these words are true 
The harder we fall the further we climb 
             No ones life is totally sublime 
Illusion after illusion will be offered to you 
                 But only the living word is true 
The living word that beats in your heart 
Will keep you safe as the world falls apart 
Through the pain of a boy watching his mother die 
It’s never to late to kiss the sky
A man of faith who could never give up 
Please come break my bread and share in my cup 
By the time our journey is through 
                      I’ll share all I am with you 
          Hopefully somewhere in my words you’ll see 
              ---Untwisted is truly the way to be---



Details | Free verse | |

Living on The Scars

Where did the role of soul leave?
Blind in directions, lost in destination
Escaped amid to the extraneous crowds
As if gone shattered like the whisper of dusk

Peace of mind seemed to be fade and mortal
Like a starlight with less of hope
There was no love, no sorrow
Everything placed as ghosts

Will it able to question
If you hold all the answers
Will it able to survive
If you bury all of your sides

Confusion...
Mind occupied....

The uncertainty rule the roost
Thirst caressing for longing
Wondering for the cure, arrested in anxiety


Details | Free verse | |

The Nightmare of Reality -part 2-

Her death STARING me down Staring. . . Her drooping eyes dangling low Warm blood COLD blood! Don’t come any nearer! I told you to leave! You killed them all, one by one I did it for you! DON’T BLAME ME FOR LOVING YOU! Give me a kiss. . .stay quiet NO! Tell me it’s a lie . . . This must be a nightmare The nightmare ends here—I swear Hold me close and we’ll comfort each other While they pass by You’ll be safe, unharmed And then you can run, you beautiful soul It’s too late to run, remember? I lied There’s still a way out You’re only giving me a shred of hope Hope. . . So you can tear it all down Tear them all down. . . We’re together. . .just you and me, And Nobody I’m scared of you What’s new? Use me to save you You were built to destroy To CHASE Run. . .run. . .I beg you to run I’m not going anywhere The pain has just begun Hide. . .hide. . .they’re coming inside Let them come I’ll never say goodbye You left me with Nobody And Nobody is me So I’m stuck with you and you’re stuck with me I want you to go over there Don’t look—turn around They will enter me and you will see The Nobody I’m not scared of Nobody YES YOU ARE. . . Run. . .run. . .please run. . . No I’m not Bodily odors and sulfur Blood and oath—SUFFER!


Details | Free verse | |

Oddly Enough

Multiple fractures of my skull
Makes my thoughts void and null
Motor neurons now shut down
Synapse connections now unwound
Muscles jerk
All thought burned away
But oddly enough
This was my finest day.


Details | Free verse | |

White Cold Moon

Outside, the moon is alone in the sky
and floats bright white in the ocean
of the great black-blue on high.

It illuminates slightly my surroundings,
giving everything the soft pallid hue
that makes everything something familiar,
though some things I have never seen.

All things being equal,
under the bright white moon,
I see the waves of grass
in neighboring lawns that I’ve never trod,
and I see the soft waves of the moon
dancing off the rooftops of houses
that I’ve never been welcomed in,
that contain neighbors that I’ve never met.

It’s cold out…
if the sun gives off heat in the day,
does the moon radiate chills at night?

The moon sheds its cold, emotionally bankrupt light
on everything I see.
Is this how I should be?
If this is how all emotional attachment ends up,
should I even bother?

Or better yet, should I wait for the moon,
that reopens my wounds just by shining on me?
Every time it comes into sight,
I can’t help but think of all the times
it left me dark and cold.

Should I wait for it to change,
or should I move on?
I can’t see why I should waste my time,
when there are other things that
can radiate a brighter and warmer light than this.

If I see it shining its light on others;
what light does it have for me?


Details | Free verse | |

Debauchery Or Not



the truth a deceptive lie bound forever or leaping to flight If I could I would but for truth I deny still bound by flesh the spirit cries - if only to find an excuse contemplating in my mind...


Details | Free verse | |

A Winter Walk

I needed some time, some space to think
And it was either take a walk or drink
And since I knew drinking would solve nothing
I put on my shoes and I started walking

The wind blew the chilly air
Through my unkempt locks of hair,
But I hardly felt the biting cold,
Walking with memories warm in my soul

The street was dark, cold and silent
It was funny the places where my mind went
While I slowly walked across the blacktop road
No destination in mind where I would go

It's funny the things you will remember
I recall a day in mid-December
And how suddenly, nothing seemed the same
After that man at the door called my name

I followed him into a secluded office
Where he would tell me his diagnosis
And suddenly I felt my beating heart
But the rest of the world had just stopped

I felt a hand in mine get tighter
I don't think the room could have been quieter
I shook my head in total disbelief
Too numb to feel anything, even grief

The question asked, "What does this mean?"
But the answer didn't mean anything
My head too fuzzy, my thoughts too jumbled
I turned to my love to speak, but mumbled

I don't remember what else he said
Because of the swirling thoughts in my head
It took three days before I could even think
Which led me to tonight: walk or drink

So I walked and I thought and I truly remembered
Dreams of the past, love treasured forever
Friendship and laughter, sorrow and pain
As though I was reliving my life over again

Little things that I'd sorely taken for granted
Things that didn't happen the way that I planned it
Promises made and ones that were broken
Love that was shared, love still unspoken

The frosty air filled me with a sense of renewal
Inside my soul was fighting a duel
The angel, the devil, both battling demons
Inside of myself I fought to redeem them

I don't know who won the ethereal battle
And I'm not sure right now it even matters
Where once I believed everything for a reason
I'm finding that harder and harder to believe in


Details | Free verse | |

Cows

Well the cows came home
And now I don’t know what to do
Because I have been waiting for them
I thought something magical would happen
But they just kind of sauntered up (only the way a cow can do)
And stood there and mooed. 
At first I was dumbstruck 
But then I decided to dance 
For I had heard from a friend they liked to watch people dance
But I got the same dumbfounded looks from the whole herd
What next…drum solo…of course they would love that
I could see them all swaying and holding lighters in the air 
But alas again no fireworks nothing.
So I went to the barn and they all followed me (kind of spooky)
And I got out some hay and spread it around
And they began to eat
So was that why they came home?
I always heard the old timers say “Till the cows come home.” 
I just never thought it would be so dang boring.
I think next time I’ll just go see a movie and not wait for them.


Details | Free verse | |

So-called poem

Have I lost it?
The writing thing?
Have I been absent for so long that my thoughts are unable to come to a 
complete stop and decide to focus...on ...one...thing?
I shudder profusely and then shake....
shudder...shake...doesn't that mean the same thing?
God....this feeling of complete talentlessness is absolutely....bad?
(SIGH!!!!!)
For the sake of being poetic I come up with...bad...seriously!!!
My fingers move at a snail's pace to keep up with the dismay that wants spill its 
inerts on this screen in front of me and it will take the hand of God to prevent me 
from actually not deciding to hit the delete button and feel justified in my 
pitifulness!!!
(SIGH!!!)
Ok...I'll leave it alone
be the cheerleader of this...piece...yea.


Details | Free verse | |

HUMPTY DUMPTY

Fat egg    you're a mess!
I can't believe the scramble where you fell
There's slime    dirt    and yellow on your shell
Impossible, I must confess

With all the king's horses
           all the king's men
                and the ovaries of a hen
It seems quite ridiculous
      a job so meticulous


Details | Free verse | |

The Nightmare of Reality -part 3-

SUFFER! I am not afraid of you, Nobody LEAVE HIM ALONE! You are afraid of what I’ll do to him. . . Nobody. . .stop He’s everything The only I love you LIES Croaking, splitting Gnashing, spitting How am I still alive? Watch him cry. . .WATCH HIM DIE. . . Give him up and leave us to agony Agony. . . Keep him alive and I will eventually die Blink – One, two, three four There’s no escape GIVE HIM MORE! Shrieking, creeping Aching, LAUGHING Nobody likes me Wake me up—I’M BURNING UP! And the killer’s left to guide me TURN AROUND. . .LOOK BEHIND YOU! Her faceless, raw, noseless features right in my face Crawling nearer and nearer YOU’VE KILLED THEM ALL SO NOW THEY CAN DESTROY ME! ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE NOBODY NOW? I am nobody—I am empty YOU LEFT ME NOTHING AND GAVE ME ENEMIES!!! DEMONS! DEMONS!! DEMONS!!! DEMONS!!!! GET OUT OF THEM!!!!! Wake me from this Nightmare of Reality Nobody says you’re staying forever UNTIL YOU FIGURE OUT HOW TO WAKE DEMONS!!!! DEMONS!!!!! DEMONS!!!!!! I smell them. . .I feel them. . .I taste them UNTIL YOU FIGURE OUT HOW TO WAKE Demons! Fiends! I hear them. . . UNTIL YOU FIGURE OUT HOW TO WAKE WHY!!!!!? ANSWER ME!! KUT ME! GRIND ME! END ME!!!!! She has waken from this nightmare . . . Nobody will miss her


Details | Free verse | |

Fragmentation

I am tied to the whipping post
and whipped because I am standing still
because of a conglomeration of thoughts
that require a hint of understanding and will
You close your mind and make your demands
I feel a stripe
I know there is some one who will accept me
but I feel the time is not right
I have absorbed as much as I can hold
now I am dripping with hurtful fragments left in the water
To speak my mind is foul, uncanny, disappointing in view to so many and
misunderstood so why bother?
To err is human and forgive divine
but I am crushed by the breath that curses me and adjusting the moral line
I feel my spirit slip away from grace and human sin appear
I want to go back a step but the sand has covered the tracks,
the path has disappeared
Where do I go and what do I do?
Move forward, look up, seize the moment and push through


Details | Free verse | |

Empty Words

Words at the edges
Of your Tongue
Are not merely Words.

A Thought trying
Desperately to be expressed.

If hope lie in words
Is Hopelessness the absence?
No sound, no chirp, no brighter day ahead.
Engulfed by Darkness and Dread

If words are crucial to meaning
Why are they misused?
When slang destroys the basis of Thought
When LOL substitutes true Laughter
When a text makes Emotion
obsolete…
What do we do next?

Just ink on paper
Stained but not Bled

We await the future


Words…..


Details | Free verse | |

Venturing The World Above

A continuation of The World Above Me, a special collaberation between myself and my good friend Justin Connor

8/17/12
------------------------------------------------------------------

The shelter opens its door to the world above me
Never have I seen so much destruction

My eyes get used to the brightness,
An unwanted tear trickling down my cheek
But once they are accustomed to the light,
I want to close them again
I feel the urge to turn back
But they push me forward,
Whispering low, consoling words

I look around to see what humanity used to be
Before the devastation
And I marvel at what the old world used to be
But one question remains:
Why did people destroy their lives,
And end the world we used to know?

I walk my feet on the unknown terrain
Ruins. . .debris. . .the air placid and still
All around is rubbish
My mother whispers a prayer from behind
And then I wonder. . .
If God was ever here

As I look around I notice a book
Lying there, upon the ashy wreckage
I pick it up and read. . .
It details a nation’s fight for freedom

A large statue of a man is in the building I stand by
I stare at the brazen figure in awe
The features are crumbling but here it still stands
Watching over its obliterated land
I squeeze the book in my hand
His eyes show loyalty and courage
No sadness—not even a speck of fear

Looking more outwards I see a tall structure
And past that a building with a large dome
The architecture of the old world amazes me
What wonders men have done—could have done
If they hadn’t let each other come undone
In violence and death
Yet still I wonder how these incredible buildings 
Could possibly remain after all that has happened
Like the buildings, we have survived
And hopefully, through lessons learned,
We can thrive

My father tells everyone to clear away the ruins
People even use old machines with cranes
The old world is gone
But from the ashes we can start anew
We were in the shelter for the good of humanity
And now, because of us,
There is hope


Details | Free verse | |

City of Shadows

A lonesome boat in the harbor rocks insanity.
Big waves of the black sea roll across the white sands
that fade into darkness for eternity.
Far from the life giving drops of rain are predators
in the city of shadows.
Feelings from the last solem breezes blow.
As the evening sun fades slowly into the night,
the pavement glistens like cracked glass
from the earlier evening rain.
A lack of silence remains.
In the city of shadows,
screaming voices creep in the corner of your mind.
Visions of the garden where the flowers died.
The dark alley reveals the emptiness of peace within your soul,
and death reveals the cold, cold truth way beneath the black crumbled earth.
Slapped with a strike of lightning,
disrupting the fall of silence where secrets crawl to hide,
in the foxholes of one's mind.
In the city of shadows, bewildered minds tick with the time of the clock.
Breath by breath falls perfectly out of place,
and darkness opens a new gate.
Tunes of the violin slowly fade away.
A new awakening to blindness,
in the city of shadows.


Details | Free verse | |

Wisps

"Friend,
Mind wandering through misty woods.
You don't understand your purpose.
Friend,
I knew you too little,
Please do not shed your salty emotions,
Not out of anger, not out of sadness.
Friend,
You now lose your way so easily,
You sink, you burst, you burn inwardly.
You weep from frustrations, 
From the guilt of an honest smile,
From pains, that you forget for a moment,
That come swiftly back to haunt you of your loss.
I understand, dear friend.
You once had a light and the woods seek to snuff it out.
Do not fear, dear friend,
Friend follow me, as I once did you.
Friend, now you see?
Yes, you see,
The little wisps in the fog that guide us home."

~In memory of Bill Hamman, and all else who have suffered the pains of Alzheimer's


Details | Free verse | |

Any Ideas?

Well what should I write about tonight?

Should I write about what I did today?
Should I write about my shoelaces?
Should I write about doing laundry?
Or Should I write about what I'd like for breakfast tomorrow?

Maybe I should ramble about how the school day went.
Maybe I should complain about my room being dirty.
Maybe I should name off the food in my kitchen.
Or Maybe I should just talk about my hair.

I wanna talk about what I'm learning on guitar.
I wanna speak out about my inner issues.
I wanna yell a crazy rant.
I just wanna blow off some steam.

I wish I could take a bath with a girl right now.
I wish I would've finished my homework.
I wish I could shoot ice from my finger tips
I just wish I had some soda to quench my thirst.

There are so many things I could say right now!
But I just can't seem to decide.
I'd probably get some pretty weird looks
If I told you what's all bottled up inside.

I'm everywhere and nowhere in my head
Ideas and thoughts bouncing left and right.
Too bad I can't seem to think of anything.
I was really wanting to get some feelings out tonight.

Do I need to shave in the morning?
Should I go to the music store after school?
Why didn't I grab matching socks?
What does the weekend have in store?

I wish I had something to write about.
Any Ideas?

Eh, I'll think of something tomorrow night.


Details | Free verse | |

When And Why

When And Why

Concepts of right and wrong
White and black without the shades of grey
Where did those ideas come from?
Whose warped mind divided the world into two?
Murder is murder unless it is done on a battlefield?
Killing an unborn child is ok but only until it is born
It is okay for people to starve
But it isn’t legal to steal a love of bread to feed a family
Pets are left to waste away on the sides of the road
Or take them to a shelter and have them kill it for you
After all…it is painless to die
Animals can die for sport as long as they die running
It is okay as long as they don’t fight
People can be crippled for sport
It brings in the money
But we are told that it is not right to inflict injury
As long as the owners count their millions
It is alright to be a man until a woman wants your job
It is alright to be a woman until a foreigner takes your job
When did the world become so segmented?
So indecisive about what is right and wrong
When did we screw it all up?


Details | Free verse | |

My Friend, Leave me be.

Where do I belong?
Please tell me?
I don't know where to go.
Please? Please? Please?
Oh you don't know how much pain this is causing me.
My path has been blocked by you.
I don't want this.
I don't know how to overcome this.
The shyness is like someone grabbing you and not letting go.
I want to take off.
I want my long-time "friend" to say goodbye.
Please? Oh please? 
Tears are falling from my eyes.
Please let me go?
I will be okay.
I won’t have to sit around and cry anymore.
I won’t have to wonder why I can't get up and intrudes myself to somebody.
This has gone on for to long.
Let me go!
Or I am walking away tonight.
Oh yes, yes, yes, I'm walking away myself!
You can cry now. 
All by your-self.
No one to talk to you.
See how it feels? 
Yeah,  it’s not a fairy tale for one.


Details | Free verse | |

Did you not Notice?

Did you not notice I was slippin,
                       cause you didnt catch my fall.
                        Did you not notice I had fallin 
                             cause you didnt help me up...
                                 so I stayed there for awhile.
                                 Did you not notice I was drowning,
                                   cause you didnt offer me your hand....
                                 so I sank to the bottom.
                               Did you not notice  I was dying,
                             cause you didnt try to revive me.
                            Did you not notice I was Dead,
                         Cause you werent at my Funeral.
                       Did you not notice I was in Hell,
                    When i would haunt you with my soul caught on fire...
                                   and you didnt put out the flames.
                           ... And im just Wondering how did you not notice?
                                                

                        By.Jessica Bowie


Details | Free verse | |

Drowning in a box of condoms

    I'm a virgin. 
 Yet I'm a peer educator 
  I teach people about sex
    and how to put on the condom.
    sometimes the irony does bother me
 There's an endless supply of condoms 
     in my custody daily yet I have no need for them
     You should see the eager faces of the kids  
    grabbing them out of boxes like their gods best made gift
      I can't share in their glory 
      all I can do is watch 
        I hate  watching
         I'm mostly a doer not a witness
         So in this case I just feel out of place
             out of context
              Lost? Not exactly
              Cause i'm not exactly a saint
                  I probably know more than the one's who are active
                   which makes the irony even more ridiculous. 
                        But I guess it's just that need to be in with the crowd 
                            The need to feel like I belong
                               Less and less virgin's hang around these parts
                                   I'm starting to feel like i'm the only one left
                                             like i'm waiting for nothing. 
                                                         The condom box is calling out to me
                                                          The multiple flavors tempt me to taste. 
                                                                     Yet i'm still me. Therefore i'm lame. 
                                                                     Therefore i'm waiting...
                                                                    For what i'm not even sure anymore.
                                                                    I though it was because I was looking for the right guy 
                                                                     Maybe i'm just inept in this area. 
                                                    LoL that's a laugh. My body knows I'd  be a champ.
                                                                  But it also listens to my head. 
                                                                               Maybe that's what's the problem.
                                                                               Who knows? 
                                                                All I know is that i'm drowning in a box of condoms. 


Details | Free verse | |

It's Hard to Care

It's hard to care about something if you get no care in return..
It's hard to help someone if they refuse to let you in..
It's hard to believe something if you've never experienced it yourself..
It's hard to accept a situation when you know you can't do anything about it..

Is it that I care too much?
Am I smothering people with my feelings?
Do they not realize what I'm trying to do?
Why can't they accept that I worry?

They need to know I love them.. 

Perhaps I just don't understand..
Maybe I worry too much..
I guess making myself sick is just Me overreacting..
Or maybe they don't realize how serious I am..

I'm willing to care for you..
Keep you in my heart for as long as you want me..
Even if you treat me like I'm nothing..
I'll still love you just a little bit

If you're good enough to be my friend,
You're good enough for my love..
I'll be here for you all forever..
As long as you can accept the offer stated above..


Details | Free verse | |

Palisades Park

A rodent in the road

Jammed into my  tires

As I screeched to a halt,

Then bolted past

Remembering a deer

In the headlights

A victim underneath me

Forever frozen in ice

And slow motioned into

Sleepwalking in my mind

An instant replay triggered

By any myriad of buttons

Pushed at random

An overheard conversation

At the dentist’s office

Sending x-ray recollections

Into forward play and 

Changing my breath and

My complexion as I relive

My murders,

Clawed forever into a brain

Those guilty priests cannot forgive

Even God has allowed me to allow the

Remnants to remain for now

Brushed against my heart

Like orange and purple sunsets

At Palisades Park.


Details | Free verse | |

Introductions -part 1-

Underneath it all…
No, not clothe-less—not naked…
Skinless…we’re traveling DEEP within…
Imagine your skull cut…split right in the middle,
Opening up to reveal your AMAZING brain,
As the rest of your body unfolds…
The fancy clothes…the hair…the young or old,
Bones exposed…organs revealed…
The pupils of your eyes growing and receding, 
As you look upon yourself…
You don’t know him or her yet…
The blood is spilling freely and you welcome the sensation that you are now experiencing
The heart is rapidly THUMPING from the sudden exposure
Your lungs feel the air on top of it,
The air that it works with every day—suddenly, it is foreign to it…
Teeth chattering, it is raining now…
The water is COLD as hell on Mt. Everest
Mt. Everest is bare…snow-less, compared to your cold, exposed body…
And no oxygen is needed to survive…
The reveling waves of your mind are forming all of these feelings…
You stand there,
Without a blink or blemish,
Staring at you… 
There is no thought that you cannot decipher in those inner features…
Your brain is projecting a film in the clouds above you,
As your skull and skinless neck turn upwards toward the heavens!
The fat of your present has melted into the ice…
The guts are not needed for this ride…
No glasses needed either,
No jewelry…no tampons…no knives or guns…
Your eyes only glue themselves subconsciously towards the awe-full projection before you…
Now…NOW you are being introduced to yourself!
Your defensive Alzheimer’s disease is giving you a rest…
You are faced with the pictures of your PAST…
The ugliness…the PAIN—
The excruciating TRUTH that your memory withholds from the rest of the world…
Some even know your secrets…
But they can’t feel it the way YOU feel it—they never will…
The happiness…the comfort…the BEAUTY…
You see it all unfold in a movie,
Sound effects reverberating all around you,
The organs twitching—almost, with a mind of their own, embarrassed…


Details | Free verse | |

Never To Be Found Again

Nightmares creep and swallow her whole
nothing is left but an empty shell
She is no longer home

Dreams are now a thing of the past
Shadows are cast. Alone
she sits her dark room


She stays alone and cries every
night she has nothing to do
with her lonely life

She tries to break free of
this endless hurt but now nothing is left
and she has no reason to carry on


She takes the blade and holds it tight
she will now be able to sleep
peacefully tonight


No one knows what led to her end
all that is known is that she is lost
and never to be found again.


Details | Free verse | |

Rebirth



Twenty five years of grave digging finally unearthed a new birth;
Emergence into a sacred world where the secret wisdom of simplicity 
Prevailed.

The connection was made, the gift giving;
Spiritual fire burned above his head.

He spoke in tongues of angels, wrote a revelation in 
Divine script to be read by the mourners and widows.

Eulogies long overdue, delivered
To the souls that were left behind.

Now dangling in purgatory with outreached grasping hands
Toward heaven and feet smoldering in hell.

Waiting for the “Great Provision” to pull them into
The sanctuary of submission.


Details | Free verse | |

A Castle Beaten by the Waves

And my heart shattered;
A castle beaten by the waves
Like there never was.
Neither the lamps at night
  above my shadow
Nor the flies on the willow
Leave me light,
As if there never was.
Was there any?
Sand castles weren’t made
 by me
And the darkness invaded
 my hope
(was there any at all?)
The way it blinded my sight
And tortured my soul.
I haven’t seen the bridge
And walked on towards you.


Details | Free verse | |

Sea Gaze

Gazing innocence
Lost in thought
 secret codes
I ask and you do not answer
 eyes a fence now
so that i may not enter

 your thoughts 
 imprisoned,sacred close 
 oh,Majestic worries, 
you worry
 you

Those pursed lips have a seal, don't they?
They are baptized in truth
They will not sin again

Let me drown in your eyes and die on your shores
Have me wander your desert heart and thirst

Take my hand, my holy trust, and lead me to loss
For even this is love 


Details | Free verse | |

the art of persuasion.

She and the handsome gentleman finalized the contract, and he gently placed 
the antique pearl necklace into the palm of her tiny hand.  As he walked away,
she fantasized about making love with him, for he possessed both charm and 
exceptional good looks; he certainly was enchanting...thick, black wavy hair,grey-
green eyes...tall...muscular ~ oh, those muscles...all over his tanned body...head
to toe.

But she wondered about that limp as he walked away, depending on a heavy 
metal 
staff
for 
balance...

after all, an eternity of beauty and power in exchange for 
one
pathetic
soul.

The evening of the deed was a frigid six degrees, and there was a dead smell of
the sun.  She stayed late after work, waiting anxiously until everyone had gone.
Finally, he was alone in his office, so she placed the pearl necklace around her
fragile neck and unbuttoned her red, silk blouse so to reveal her sexy red
camisole.

She entered the office, and gently leaned over him from behind; he was aroused
by the scent of her "Red Door" cologne...his favorite, and his senses were even
more heightened as he turned around and observed her erect breasts speaking
in a language only he understood.  With his large hands, he slowly explored her
thighs, making his way up her black skirt.

"You have beautiful legs."
"You think so, huh?"

They kissed, and the necklace brushed his chest; he didn't feel well, at all.  He 
was hot...so hot, and his body began its metamorphosis, retaining a grayish
tinge....then blackish...

He
burst
into
flames;

then, disappeared along with all omens of the deed.

She walked over to the black wrought iron mirror and smiled; her wrinkles were
gone...vanished...just as promised; she was ten years younger.

The windows began sweating, and the handsome stranger appeared.

"I have one more assignment for you."
"But we made a deal, one soul."

She began to feel peculiar, and as she viewed herself in the black mirror, she 
began aging...ten years...twenty...thirty...she pulled out a large clump of thin, white
hair.

The room darkened from his moonly mind.



"My dear, the other soul...is yours."


Details | Free verse | |

Suffocated

My biggest fear is to be alone with my thoughts,
To be surrounded by the past,
Swallowed whole by my mistakes,
Stalked by what could've been, what should've been,
And being eaten alive by the insecurity I mask day by day,
I guess it can be said that my biggest fear is myself,

The person that hides behind the red lips, the soft brown eyes,
Who smiles when internally she cries for help,
The person who is suffocated .


Details | Free verse | |

new sensations harbor ill will toward the mind

New ambient light taking hold of that which was once darkened by time.
New thoughts eluding desires and all answers to the questions at hand.
Laminated emotions taking the places of the empty spaces inside the mind.
Feel the love from behind the reinforced glass? Didn’t think it was possible.
Now the age of reasoning comes into play, now is the time for deep thought.
The devil calls for pain, in waves that crash on this body like water on rock.
No visible damage but over time it wears it down to nothing, little by little.
Plunging into the deep end surrounding the mind and clouding the vision.
Breathing is impossible, gasping for air only brings water into the lungs.
This feels like dying. This feels like numbing. This feels better than living.


Details | Free verse | |

Darkness

Complete darkness
No sound at all
This is where you live
No one to talk to
The blackness, engulfing
Smothering the air out of you
In this vast void with lack of light
You are forced to believe
That you see a speck
A tiny green light
Way off in the distance
This blot of light brings so much hope
So many desires
You can hardly breath
Suddenly the light grows larger
You feel elated
Then FLASH
Complete darkness
No sound at all
Things are back
To the way they will always be


Details | Free verse | |

If you had a name (An ode to loss and water)

If the lovely breeze had a name
we could drift together as two dandelion wishes
floating wanton on foamy winds.
If the river were rolling, gently
we could slide in and swim
for hours, without rushing
and love is like that.
Love is like still water
standing so deep in a vessel
 yet so easily broken upon the smallest of stones;
scattered, and yet-
from this another river begins
(as you begin)
How lovely if you had a name
I would call out to you
and I would hear your reply as
the wind blowing, the water rushing
and not your echoes
 as you trickled across so many small, jagged stones


Details | Free verse | |

Falling

Falling.
In one swift motion,
Through love and hate.
Not knowing where you are,
Or where you are going.
Having only the power
To sit...
And wait...
For the end.
But, seemingly,
It never comes.
No.
Never.
Teasing you,
Torturing you.
Knowing that you have no control.
You are still falling.
Uncontrollably.
And then you crash.
Rock bottom.
Left only to look back.
At where you started...
Falling.


Details | Free verse | |

Fallen Sand Castles


 Hope built upon the sand
as castles before the waves.
 Heart filled with Puppy love
and hymns sung beneath
Daddy's watchful eye.

Nothing Holy remains
Happy a forgotten word.
Love drowned in Jack and coke
before he was thee years old.
No harmony in that  house
that house not a home.

Her health a poor excuse to stay
a good excuse to leave him home.
Praying no one would see.
My hand on fire as it closed
on the frozen food.

Filling my pack ~ without looking
Hungry doesn't care
as long as it's fed.
A starving beast~ wild
Anything a feast
after three days.

Afraid of getting caught.
Pride a terrible thing.
It always grows before the fall.
Tonight we eat like a king
in a land of milk and honey.
Pigtails and peas with rice.

Never knowing he knew
till the end.  ~ Grateful
that he understood.
wishing  I could change things.
Ashamed of my actions.
Sometimes sand castles fall.

Holding a feverish hand I
laughed until I cried.
I should have thrown down
that foolish pride. I could have had
steaks and chops too.

I still have the old key
He passed to me.
I hold it in my hand sometimes.
The old  freezers long gone.
I Hold on to  it remind me.
Sometimes Sand castles fall.

There isn't much a parent
misses. Hidden in our eyes.
Remember that and remember too
that The good stuff is locked away
But  that Daddy shares with all!







Details | Free verse | |

For What's Worth Breathing


Look at me
I am the life in a wasteland

Look at me
I am the slavery through the ages

Look at me
I am the mirror of the world

Look at me
I am the illusion I’ve fought for

Look at me
I’m still loving you

and I keep being here

for you, for me,
and for what’s worth breathing


Details | Free verse | |

The Doll

10-21-12

Like Sally I sense tragedy’s at hand For this heart can only sew so much Until all string is used to the last strand Hanging dolls staring at my lonesome self I wish I was more than what they see If only they’d welcome me on their shelf My porcelain skin would win over all Inanimate beings look alive at my face As I let my angriest plastic tear fall I can’t be SxTxIxTxCxHxExD this time. . . I can’t be displayed. . . I can’t remove the grime I’ve become the doll And we all sense the worst A happy ending for them all And when they finally welcome me to their shelf It is empty and caked with dust Leaving me staring. . . at MxYxSxExLxF Like Sally I sensed tragedy at hand But unlike her, that’s how I stay I stay. I stay. I stay. SxTxOxP. . . IxT IxS SxTxAxRxIxNxG AxGxAxIxN. . . SxHxE WxOxNxT LxExT MxE SxLxExExP SxHxE HxAxTxExS MxE. . .


Details | Free verse | |

Jesus in a Hat

I can only seem to watch over the world,
as it sleeps.

With my eyes closed tightly and a motion of minds' breath,
I can see brief glimpses of where I need to be,
to find my rest.

It's so beautifully odd....
like seeing Jesus in a hat.

I've taken many a circle walk, at night.

I've stopped and kissed Lestat,
while stealing lilacs in the comfort of the dark.

I suck on the candied faith,
that somehow grows from the pores of the peaceful.

I do all this, while sitting on the curb.

Standing, may cause my balance to drip,
but I will learn to dance,
inside the timesteps.


Details | Free verse | |

The Doors Of Fate

The Doors Of Fate

What is there to fear?
Hundreds of doors
Some closed
Some open
Each with a different choice
A different fear to face
Darkness and light
Each telling a different tale
Each making you think of what you have done
What you will do
What the universe holds in store for you
Will one choice make you happy?
Will another end your life?
Each one has hope, desperation and death
Yet you do not know which is which
No one will help you choose
Your fate lies within your hands
But you will never know what is coming
What has come before
The doors open and close before you
You stand there and just watch as they choose
And your fates are decided


Details | Free verse | |

Only Once

Darkness laid around us like a blanket
Consuming us in its womb
She was crying
I was quiet

Crickets chirped softly in the distance

Her face was buried in my chest
She was shaking like a small child
I felt numb
She was sorry

The moon looked down upon us

I thought it would be different
I thought I would be empowered
She thought it would be different
She thought she would be free

I rolled her softly over
I sat up to view the night
She curled up in a ball
Still wriggling with remorse

Patting her on the shoulder
I lit a cigarette


Details | Free verse | |

Spill It

Spill it all out
Where is the light to guide these words?
Everything feels gone 
Empty again 
So spilling it out is impossible?
Yet words still flow through it all
Thoughts still run rampant
Broken pipework spraying all over the place
Rust collecting on the spurting silver
Losing very inch of pride
Unable to control these lines
Pinch it all out
Squeeze it like the last bits of toothpaste in a tube
Roll it up and twist the remains
Pressure is building
Tension is steadily, stiffly waiting
To be released
Let it all go!
There is no point anymore
Stop building on disaster!
Let the words flow
Spill the damn mess out
And don't clean up
Let me pick up the pieces
Hand me the mop
Because when it is finally all out
The emptiness will leave 
You'll know exactly what to express
It will all be clear


4-20-13


Details | Free verse | |

Sanity

my sanity seems to unravel

like frayed shoe-laces on a rainy day

I keep tripping on in the mud

but when I go to tie them

I find myself barefoot

rooted in an unsatiable lust

for something other than reality

a blood-letting of sorts

a scream that dies

before it escapes my throat

my struggle is not one of boredom or regret

rather a confusing mixture

of powders, pills, and mind-control

and some weird state of non-commital emotion

a dark ocean of something mistakenly called

anti-depression

I’ve never really been in control

but I fight with a might that might surpise you

and win most battles and lose most wars

realizing too late that I’m the only one

keeping score

another day of willing the sun to stay down

to allow me to drown

in a dreamscape of something greater

inhibit my feelings or leave me alone

this is something I’ll always fight

alone



Details | Free verse | |

The Past Haunts Me

The past is what haunts me.
Its what kicks me down.
Its what follows me...
I used to get bullied at school, all the time.
And i have noticed, that it is slowly coming back..
And i find myself asking "Why me?"
I find myself wondering why it is coming back...
Im thinking "Will it ever end? Or just keep coming back to haunt me?"
I cant take this anymore,
It is killing me inside.
I feel like nothing.
I feel as if i am alone.
I feel as if i have nothing.
I feel as if no one cares.
No one, no one understands.
I feel as if im living in my past.
I cant take this anymore,
Its just to much..
I want to leave..
But i cant get myself to do it..
So i shall wait..
Until the day..
That i can leave..
And leave this world happy,
Without me..


Details | Free verse | |

frantic thoughts

things just arent the same...
with you gone 
its like you were never there
like a ghost...
haunting my mind
haunting my dreams 
its driving me crazy
i sometimes wonder
what it would have been like...
but no...
i dont want to think that
it makes you being gone harder to deal with
every single day is hell
because you left me alone to do this
and i cant...
im not strong without you
it was us...against the world
and you vanished before my eyes
leaving me to fight 
but i cant.
because every single moment of this life is a struggle
you held me up when i was weak
and now im left falling forever in this endless hole of pain...
drowning in my own tears 
wishing you were still here to save me
but youre not...
and im still here.
wondering if you were ever real
or just my minds way of saving me
but you have to have been real
i still feel you beside me 
i still hear your voice...
you have to have been real...

you have to have been real...

were you ever real? 

but where does this leave me. 
stuck here in a trance
trying to make myself believe 
trying to remember what your voice sounded like
trying to remember your smell
trying to remember your laugh
the memories are to vivid. too real.
so thats it then. 
youre just a memory to me.
maybe thats how its meant to be....


Details | Free verse | |

stars in my hair

stars are falling
     in my hair
   my eyes roaming the world
I stretch out for my own perspective
        and my body decode land of geometry

the doctor says it must all be psychosis ( rotten
                             roses spell my name )
and snakes smile bitterly at me in the night`s womb

worms eat death
I invoke the goddess of Woman
Come let me sleep in motherhood´s arms
Let me have a milky universe

Suddenly stars explode
millions of microscopic flares revolt against light

I cry

tales
saga
myth

Yet in this heaven of sickness I come into being again


Details | Free verse | |

Dandelion

In a sea of wild roses.
Tall blades of grass reach for heaven.
Little arms reach for the skies.
I am a lone dandelion.
You came and plucked me.

How long did you think I would survive,
Taken from my roots, I would not thrive.

You steal me away from my comfort, my sunshine.
My stem submerged in a glass of cool water, 
it does not comfort me.
You admire my hundreds of yellowing petals,
thumbing each one beneath your greedy fingers.
Your nose smells my scent and it tickles your senses.

Do your eyes not see I am already beginning to wither away.

Some may call me a weed compared to roses,
But I shine and seed and feed just as they do,
You have seen that, but your admiration is the death of me.

I never wanted to be anything but me.
Had I known my fate, I should have been born differently.
Maybe as rose in a garden of dandelions,
Then there would be no doubt of who I am, 
And I would have had the thorns to keep you away.


Details | Free verse | |

Shadows

As the moon aligns itself with the stars
I search to find me
Can’t find my way
My psyche is perplexed
Seemingly, I long to be found
Yet, I have left no trail of sanity
Left no footprints of sincerity 
Silhouettes are numerous
Where I was last portrayed
A mire outline, a profile
A mirage
Depicts the whereabouts of my mind
Illusions and premonitions
Forebode life
Foreshadow the inhabitation of despair
Predict the transition into solitude
Sheer hues of the deep, dark night
Diversify the challenge of discovery
Still I search
Overlooking not one possibility
Though my vision impaired
I continue franticly 
Seeking for myself
Among the many shadows  


Details | Free verse | |

Lamenting Spirit

Seemingly standing alone,
In the shadows of doubt and fear,
Lost, cold, forgotten,
Cold is the grasp of death that nears

Seeking a hand in darkness of solitude,
Wishing for nothing but a love,
Turned away, cast aside, borne not even a stray, lone thought,
Towering aloft, looked down upon from far above

Throned so high overhead, just as kings of old,
Glared down upon, a lowly tear forsaken so,
Caught within a trap, drowning, mists of sorrow,
A voice unheard, a voice deserted, only a voice in woe

Wandering such great, forlorn paths,
A derelict mind harshly beat, a mind that has since long been vacant,
Rove, this neglected child does,
One mind among so many, outcast, this dolor mind abeyant. 


Details | Free verse | |

Racism Is Your Problem

       Some people think what we have is still taboo,
And it's obvious when we enter a room.
       A few eyes seem to watch our every move;
But that makes me pull closer to you and appreciate your value.
       They're unaware the stares can't shake nor break what we have,
We just shake off the dirty looks and laugh.
 
       The ignorance of some people say white, black, Latino's don't mix.
I say that's something this country needs to work on and fix.
       I've wondered why society stereo-types by race.
People don't lack human emotion despite the color of their face.
       A shame we are unable to see, that all are one in the same.
Yet as a nation we prejudge the individual without knowing their name!
 
       This is a new day, a new era.
And yes Sara, I would follow you to the back of the bus.
       I would give up my seat to you just because.
If you could not eat in that restaurant, then neither would I!
       I would fight for your civil rights, do or die!
That is the depth of our love.
       Who cares if others find it "unheard of."
There would be no stopping you and me.
       We would walk hand in hand down any street in Mississippi!
 


Details | Free verse | |

In Your World

So I wonder why you liked me in the first place, Its not like you act like you ever did now. I fell for you from the first time we touched, And I really thought you cared. Apparently not, though. I don’t really blame you; I’m not that great, But you acted like you cared. Cared about me. Did you really? Do you? Whatever, I can’t get you out of my mind But apparently I don’t even exist in yours.


Details | Free verse | |

Oh Fisherman

I am in stupid love,
a fish out of water
caught by a slimy worm.

Hooked by hunger
and evidently truth,
but this bowl is far too real
to swallow.

My freedom was stolen
and he just laughs
as I swim around
in ridiculous circles,
searching for a knob-less door.

My voice gurgles as I ask him,
Oh simple-minded fisherman,
why'd you go and snag me like that
and what did you keep me for?


Details | Free verse | |

In the Shallows

           I bent over to touch my toes
               and the ground tore open like a backbone.

I tried to feed myself the sky;
to splice my tearducts into the universe 
so that, when the pavement cried, it would mean something to me.
My fingernails punctured that slimy membrane
congealed with stars, 
and I brought a slice of it to my lips,
hot and slippery like a jellyfish.
Peach juice, chalky-sweet, flowed,
fleshy particles snagged in my teeth,
and the colors erupted within my mouth.

Synthesia took over my lungs.
The hollows between my knuckles flooded with synovia
and all the ectoplasm threatened to separate from my cells
with a sound like thunder.
Diphthong tasted rusty like leukoplakia as it tiptoed across my tongue.
Tomorrow rose like the skeletons of trees, 
groping for a feeling similar to catharsis
[catharsis tender as the broken wings of doves,
crunching underfoot like shattered glass.]

The clouds opened their thunderous maws
- teeth snicker-snacking, lamplight-eyes flaming the color of E#'s -
and consumed me.
I felt my skin turn to something other than skin:
thick and rough with scales,
my fingerprints melting into something waxen, smooth and opaque,
like pomegranate kisses on coffee mugs.
A feeling ignited deep in my structure;
cedillas blossoming like lilies from my lips,
fragmented sentences stretching taut as guitar strings
between my thumb and forefingers.  
A flutter gentle and demonic as Calcifer erupted from my system
- splattering hot and frothing into my hand -
and fluid rushed in.

   I dared to taste oblivion,
       and the sky swallowed me. 

My lungs failed to be lungs.
They flooded with caustic matter,
and I coughed up reflections sharp as fiberglass;
fighting with organs phthisical and sore.
I struggled to find a way to describe it:
the feeling of consuming something greater than yourself,
of opening your eyes and tasting the sound of rain.
It was like swimming, 
but inside out.

            I bent over to touch my toes,
              and my spine tore open;
            the loose laces unraveling, veterbrae poking out
          like the tines of forks.
            I tried to contort myself into the beginning,
              but I only found where I end.


Details | Free verse | |

One Soul

Eyes met
Souls a spark of recognition 
Children, with the love of a million years 
How could it be 

Since the moment his eyes touched her skin 
she looked like an angel of light 
A beacon to all that was right

From the second her eyes touched his 
he was like a warmth in the night
comforting yet dangerous 

Eyes met, they knew each other 
Skin brushed, their love erupted 
Betrayed by age and distance 
Thoughtless resistance

To tell the truth I knew 
that they were each others souls 
But is it too late to make them whole?


Details | Free verse | |

FEMME FATALE

You clipped my wings
You cured my flirt
You blinded my sight
From bevy of beauties.

I'm a toy in your palm
Administered unto your wish
And, like powerful Samson
I'm doomed!

Love,
Sweet bait
Covering a naked hook
The cemetary of my life. 


Details | Free verse | |

I IMAGINE

I imagine a universe without god
What a powerful man !
I imagine a world without man
What a lovely place !
I imagine a country without politicians
What a peaceful land !
I imagine daily trade without businessmen
What a simple life !
I imagine a way of life without machines
What a romantic life !
I imagine a day without women
What a quiet day of rest !
But when I imagine my own self without you
Who I am then …


Details | Free verse | |

The Burden of Atlas Is Still Light

Teardrops carrying within them pieces of my soul
Falling for the sake of your heart
Fragile as glass

I can't bear to see you break…

Listen to the howls
Crying to a pale moon
Echoing in the emptiness

Chanting for demise…

A step towards the edge
Winds crying, tearing at my eyes
What lies beyond? Beneath?

The cliffs crumble
Winds still scream
The skies still bleed
And I stand fast

Mist settles
The silence remains chaotic
Why do you hide from me?
Turn away…
Cast me aside into the dark…

I still call for you
Still fear for you

I can't bear to see you lost…

Though stumbling in the dark
Though gasping for light
Hope still rests within my heart
In you…

I take my seat upon the water's surface
And brace myself for the burden…
The weight of trying seems far lighter than that of waiting…

Atlas knows nothing of burdens…


Details | Free verse | |

The Small,Tall,Rich,Poor Boy


There was a small boy
Whose heart was filled with joy
But was noisy and people he annoyed.
He was unemployed this comes to no surprise
For he was a child but was six feet high
Only at the age of five he towered over other guys
He worked at the mill for his parents were ill 
And he awaited the day he could get their will
For his father was rich like Moebey Dick
And spent all of his days catching big fish
It was the boys wish to be like his dad
But, now that he was rich, fish was as costly as sand
Then later he took the hand of the girl he was to marry 
But he being poor so the ring was made out of candy
The girl's name was Sandy
She was pretty, shy and dandy.
The boy now being 19 became the father of 4 sons
They were all fine except for the last one
This one being ugly just like his mom
Time went by quickly
Soon the boys all got married except for the one whose nick name was Bones 
For he was ugly like his dad and wasn't very strong
Now someone told me this story that you have just now read
Don't know if it's true but they say the boy is now dead
Said he told so many lies that he ups and gets killed
Now I'm waiting among others to get part of his will.


Details | Free verse | |

Black Scarlet (Love in the 2nd Degree)

are we crazy or just contrived 
lazy or simply self-involved? 
are we insignificant, significant 
or just like everyone else 
deranged on the outside 
swimming through dead oceans in our heads 

am i death or am i over-simplified 
is my breath as thick as the painted eye lashes 
that stick to your eyes? 
are you in love with your anemia 
or anemic to love 
breathing came so easy 
now you're lucky to get one 
mouthful 

forever in ruins or ruined to become 
pinned to pages or pinned under thumb 
like the bleeding nape of a baby 
thorough true to yourself 
under circumstance we are death-like 
only because we know we can 

the heart 
like a thick abscess of black mucus 
pumping sweet death to all who may ask 
now clogged with regret 
regret for the living 
regret for the loving 
love of anemia 
anemia of love


Details | Free verse | |

salvation blues

Salvation Blues
You don't miss your papa 
Until he is slamming the gate 
You don't weep for your mama 
Until she lying in the grave 
You don't stop drinking whiskey 
Until the funds have all gone 
You don't pray to Jesus 
Until there's something to be won 
You don't laugh 
Until you fall on to your face 

And all of God's children 
Carry a sack of chains 

You don't sing, 
Until your full to the brim 
You don't feel free 
Until your tied to a chair 
In the county jail 
You  can't dream 
Unless you sleep 
On a bed of nails 
O God what have you done 
To the girl that kept me sane 
Lost in some town 
Sticking needles in her veins 

O lord can I swap my barrel of sorrows 
For a bucketful of woes 
And all Gods children say amen


Details | Free verse | |

Only Words Will Remain

8/19/12

Falling in a shrine of words
My mind is blackened in the void
My appetite is curbed
By the ripping of flesh and blood
Why do I want to die?
I wish I can climb out of this rut of destruction
Out of this cage of singing doubt
What has happened to the simple?
Why is there no bottom to this fall? 
There is no way you can catch me and survive
He wanted me alive
To feel the claws up inside
Blood gushing
All I wanted was to hide
But there was nowhere to go
But down
Nothing to be lifted but a frown
Take me instead
Don’t make me watch
They’ve done nothing wrong
Let them go
I want to die
Is that why you insist on keeping me alive?
In that case I must beg you to spare my life
Cutting into me with a knife
You want to see my insides turn
You want to see my glistening eyes
As they burn
You want me to smell the scent forever
But I won’t. . .
Only words will remain
Me?
NEVER


Details | Free verse | |

Jennifer Stein's Exit

Driving dizzy on a distant road
My eyes and lungs are burning inside
I'm almost home; I have to rest
Romance shall raise no roses 
I receive a curiosity of pain
As I lay,
Friends come beside my bed with wet kisses
Strangers with fancy suits brush their clean fabric on my pillow
I did not expect a formal party; not in my condition
must be my mother's doing
As I lay,
People ignore my thoughts of English tea and bridal cake
It seems my taste buds tickle time a sour taste
Nor do I feel the fire feet away in flame
I'm sick as heck; I need aspirin
As I lay,   
My fiance' whispers in my ear something unclear 
He said God took me away from him
Then,
All the tears on his face
Rained on my coffin
Driving dizzy on a distant road
My eyes and lungs are burning inside
I'm almost home; I have to rest
Romance shall raise no roses
I receive a curiosity of pain


Details | Free verse | |

The Fork In The Path

The Fork In The Path

Where does this trail go?
Does it lead through meadows with gently flowing grass?
Flowers dancing in the warm breezes from distant mountains
Bees and birds flying among wispy clouds
With the scent of violet relaxes the mood of the land
Does it lead into a sunset where the daylight fades into night?
Stars fight to be seen in the dimming light
The chirping of birds is long gone
Replaced by the baying of wolves looking for a mate
Does it lead into the infinite darkness of night?
Only lit by the light of a billion distant stars
So faint that it remains a world without light or shadow
Sounds of a distant world break up the silence
An unseen choir of life and death
Where does this trail go?
Three forks coming from the path that life offers
All well-worn and all unmarked
There is no way to be certain which is correct
No way to do other than hope you choose the right one
Light or dark it is your choice to make
On your own
All alone
Just you and a fork on the path with a choice to make


Details | Free verse | |

Altruistic Ponderings

I wish someone would explain
To me how we can spend
Billions of tax dollars 
On space exploration
When we can’t even figure
Out how to erase hunger
And poverty.

Who sets our priorities anyway?

Could someone please tell me
How it is we have the research dollars
Dedicated solely to the detriment
And destruction of whole cultures
But we’ve no way of curing
AIDS, Cancer, or the common cold?

Who’s in charge here?

Can anyone give me the reason
Why society insists on medical advances
In plastic surgery while so many
Still can’t afford basic healthcare
And die because of it?

Where is our leader?

How is it that we can find Jupiter,
Study its molecular structure,
But still can’t find an answer
For alternative fuel sources?

Is everyone sleeping?

While we continue to battle
For world-wide sovereignty,
Our own people collapse.

What happened to integrity?

Is there hope
For the next seven generations?

God, I hope so. 


Details | Free verse | |

Of Fences

He's aware
of the yard he lives in --

aware of the fences
that define
his constant existence

He feels his life
is missing
from the world
outside those fences --

He's very afraid
of what lies beyond them, feels
very safe,
having such a perimeter
contain his life --

and yet,
just
yet,

when roaring lightning
cracks storms into his skies,

all he can think of, all
he's impelled towards,

from the very deep in-side-
out of his soul

is to panic & bolt,
cause himself even bodily harm
just to
find a way
out, find a way
to dig free, to
leave those fences behind --

to run amuck, un-
entrapped, seeking
freedom from fear
in the very places
that he sees as offering
no safety, no
familiarity

Then, when he calms
down,
when he's done
with his run,

the sole object burning
in his primitive mind
is to seek again
the warmth and comfort
of familiarity and safety,

and he
returns to his yard,
settles back down within his fences,
and pretends to himself
that he'll never --
No, he'll never

do that scary thing
ever again and then,
as if to prove it to himself,
to convince himself he
really means it this time

he enters into the house
yarded by those fences
and goes to sleep, goes
unconscious,

and dreams of freedom
inside the walls
of the house inside the yard,

in the center
of the fences
that circumscribe his world


Details | Free verse | |

My Baby

A gift like no other gift, 
one that can't be bought
a precious human being, 
deserving the right to live
to exist as we all do, 
but sometimes it just doesn't
happen that way,

A baby of no harm, 
a baby of no sins
a baby of pure love, 
and only innocence

Tender moments, 
carrying wishes
disappointments, 
everyday misses

Sitting there all alone, 
even though 
I was surrounded,
by others

While wondering, 
why it may be
that I am made to suffer,

Wanting nothing more,
but to die
inside and out,

Things happen for a reason,
so I was taught
I'll never know the reason,
but I'll always feel the loss

The loss of my child,
my baby was taken
away from me,
and there is no reason

I constantly ask myself,
why did this happen?
what did I do wrong?

I asked God to save my baby,
to protect us both
I remain here,
but my baby is gone

It seems as if, my whole world,
just fell apart
and all I could do,
was sit back and watch it happen

I found myself, 
feeling lonely
needing someone, 
anyone to hold me

All I could do was cry,
I had to cry, for the sake of myself
for the sake of my baby,
for the sake of my heart
I had to weep

I cried and cried aloud,
hoping to be heard
please father, 
I'll do whatever you want
you have my word,
just please save my baby

I bled so much, 
had so much pain
denied to myself, 
everything would be okay

Crying and pleading,
praying and weeping
became an everyday routine,
it was so hard to believe
this was happening to me,

It's not over yet,
it never will be
everyday and every night,
it's in my memory...










(March 1998)
My sweet baby
you will always be with me...


Details | Free verse | |

NO PEACE

Crying into my pillow each night
Tears for a sorrow that burns like an acid
Eating it’s way through my senses..through my soul.
The pain sears through me like burning coals
No peace.

Hard to get my mind clear and rational
To put those things into perspective..
Or so I am told by well-meaning others who do not know,
The suffering of my existence; my inability to cope
No peace.

My head throbs in almost a familiar rhythm
A melody of self-pity, for regret, for salvation
And the tears, still flowing, now echoed with muffled sobs
For the agony is nearly more than I can withstand
No Peace.

I pray to a God I do not know, nor care to 
But no one else is there to listen to my pleas for comfort
To make right all those mistakes
As there are so many choices and I haven made the wrong ones
No Peace

So the God I do not acknowledge, lies silent in the stillness
And the burning within begins to subside
As grateful sleep falls upon me at last
Until another night comes, and the thoughts begin again
No Peace.


Details | Free verse | |

Condemned And Judged

Condemned And Judged

Why is it so hard to say what I am feeling?
Others decides what I can say
What I can do
Who I am
My life is not up to me
I am condemned for my thoughts
Judged for my ideas
Ideas that have to remain unspoken
Not allowed to express myself I stagnate
Thoughts and words rot in their own Hell
Dark and black
The stench of dying thoughts fills the air with a grey-green mist
Even in poetry I am scrutinized
Judged by others who do not know me
The poetry is too dark
That poem is too light hearted
Nothing is right
Nothing is wrong
I wonder who they are.
What gives them the right to voice their opinion?
I don’t know
I may never know
I hate them and what they have done
But there is nothing I can do
Nothing I can say to free me from them
So I will wait
I will fester and I will stagnate
Rotting in a world of drab grey
Until I can be free and express myself
And in that moment I will be happy


Details | Free verse | |

Why does the will i am hate Mr Jones?

Is it cause youre small minded Mr jones asks the many voices who once had 
repect counting the crows pecking the and gouging out their eyes?
Is it cause you loathe what you dont understand and this revelation is something 
they need to see in themselves?
Is it the fact you carry a heavy load and need a helping hand
was it the opium you down like poison that you Jones for
leaving you to ask who i am?

Whats the will I am saying?
as he steals my spotlight
leaving me here assassinated verbally like a sitting duck
sure im no hippy sniffing daisies
pounding on drums in peace beads begging for sex
with a picket sign saying peace please

Is it because im gay?
Is it because im spiritual?
do we have penis envy?
Have you read the lists?
are you going to pay the tithe?
and before you mash the send button with snide cruel bitter comments
please please
don't think twice

the murder of crows circling
cawing in the blood moon sky
November rains down on this wedding day
and I am forever by your side
why does my will
the will i am hate me?
is it a syndrom of an itchy trigger finger
an itch below the waste
why must everyone pull eachother down
back into the boiling pot
like the crabs we truly are in this amazing race
to lose it all
then fall
and sing and
sway and praise
and humm such blasphemous amazing grace
of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes

oh sweet sugar coatings
and icing on the cake
The will iam
I wonder counting crows
a famous last name with me
Mr jones
why do you hate the will I am

Is it because i read tarot cards?
is it because i'm gay?
is it because i'm amongst favorites?
is it because im controversial?
is it because you have nothing to say?

but who am i flamethrower
i sit here a hack
with a curse gor the harpie you are
and a smile upon my face
i throw this effortless nothing
and never look back

the stone falls into the pool of the abyss
oh will i am
mr jones
why do you loathe what you dont understand?


Details | Free verse | |

Why i'm a poetess

I'm just a kid, and life is a nightmare
I'm forced to be mature beyond my age
Using my writing as my therapy
Scrawling my thoughts across the page

Every couple days or so
a poem or two I write
I can't sleep while my thoughts process
So i scribble throughout the night

I give you all my thoughts and fears
this is the reason that i write
so that i can clear my head
giving me the strength i need to fight

In this book i write the things
that i cannot say to their face
but letting it all out on paper
helps me to keep my place

writing poems calms me down
and puts me back in control
I have been writing poems for a while no
since i was twelve years old

Writing puts things in perspective
shows me another point of view
it helps me work out what was done wrong
and shows me what i need to do

If you look closley at what I write
I think that you will find
That exposed on these many pages
is the darker side of my mind

Everything i feel, i write
my thoughts are a tangled mess
I write to clear my head and keep myself sane
thats why i'm a poetess


Details | Free verse | |

Hypocrisy

Smart within your Sunday best
You stand before your sisters and brethren
Deploring sin
Denouncing science
The eyes of three generations hold you
One pair of eyes sees a pious man
One pair of eyes sees a lover
One pair of eyes sees a secret father
One pair of eyes is too weak to see
Six pairs of eyes have been sold a lie
And the sea of eyes in the shadows beyond
Choose to see nothing


Details | Free verse | |

Rental

I wish I had the video
of all your mental pictures
so I could see what that night 
looked like, where he
touched you and why
you let him in…
I want to watch the whole
damn thing, shades drawn,
sitting on the couch
with only a box of Kleenex – 
I heard the ending
is a real tear-jerker. 

Knowing me, I’d watch it
over and over 
and pause
at the 
exact 
moment
you said yes, 
trying to read 
the eyes that now
tell 
me
nothing.


Details | Free verse | |

tainted

tainted
the way you see me
the way I believe 
me
to be

never sure
in this swirling
confusion
you call
love
and I call
pity

the way you
care
for me..
take 
care 
of me

giving 
you..
up for
me and
i will 
always
be 
tainted

and you
love..
to see me 
cry
real tears
not the
fake 
ones on our
wedding
day
tears
but the ones
tinted
blue
out of 
saddened 
despair

for you it’s
all the
proof
you 
need…

that I am
still
tainted


Details | Free verse | |

guaranteed money back...

Stuck.  Glued.  Skewed.
devoted to devotion
dedicated to dancing
on a string

threw away the safety net
to take the chance on
just
once
more

give me a reason
to be here


Details | Free verse | |

WITHIN THE LOOKING GLASS: Conclusion


Now this cross is carried...And a crucifixion--AWAITS--and the blood 
which has fallen--to late--for an answer, to late to be saved!!! A thousand
eyes--wondering/staring deep inside, looking for forgiveness inside of dead eyes
gone astray...A hint of darkness, begging eyes that fade...deep within the
voices--CRYING/CALLING my name...it's better off inside here--so peaceful and safe...
No feelings, no sadness, no sorrow, no pain...I'm now free from the madness--
drifting-- freely/happily away...Away...Away...This will not last forever...
SADLY--I begin to feel--I breathe in the poison, of a new life I start--AGAIN--
in a new life I begin again...And there is no END...TORMENT... TO grow again---
to feel again-- to hurt again--to lose my mind, over and over and over again...
There is no never, there is never an END...PERPETUAL, CONTINUOUS SICK LIFE!!!
There is no absolute meaning...Just a struggle to get by...Forever, and ever and ever
TORMENT!!!

Within the looking glass--why can't I get in??? Be the one on the inside, instead 
of the one lost within??? I can't stand to look at you, to see the distorted reflection...
Is it me, or is it an ILLUSION??? I don't even recognize you...It can't be me!!!
Maybe one day--once again I can step inside, and not come back...Maybe I could just
fade away--DISAPPEAR--never exist...And maybe in all actuality--I DON"T!!!
Maybe, I'm just a figment in someone elses mind...Maybe, I haunt them with a MADNESS...
Or maybe, I am INSANE!!! Or just a little confused...There is a QUESTION to my SANITY,
but an unheard answer... 

Be one looking out--instead of the one looking in!!!

05-14-2002 


Details | Free verse | |

game over

Heavier still, the flower wilts. 
Losing petals faster and faster.
The sweet smell has turned putrid.
Remember not the last dying breath.
Rather, remember the first one.
Gasping for air with new lungs.
When reading this, read deep.
Peer between the lines and letters.
See what is truly there, hidden inside.
The truth within the lies.
The light within the dark.
The sadness within the smiles.
It is all a pastime. It is all a game.
A game you shall lose.


Details | Free verse | |

Piano Practice

Each piano note 
Played skillfully with soothe hands 
No need for tension . . . 
It can heal the soul
The heart that's dying to ex-
Press those precious chords 
Piano Practice - 
Repairing my unstable 
Thoughts of distress...leading me to my ruins...
I have not achieved any success - drowning in my sins
I can't practice alone...
Teach me how to play elegantly 
Help me to translate my inspiration into piano compositions...
That would be genius...that would be incredible
The world needs music to repair its broken society
Piano playing is so moving and therapeutic 
Free us from solitude's captivity!
Stimulate us with mesmeric music, 
We need it so desperately! 
I refuse to be stuck in place without music, making me dance merrily!
Each piano note 
Was played pleasurably with gentle and articulate hands 
No need for tension . . . 
Don't make us feel apprehension!
Don't mention the sorrows and burdens of yesterday...
I pray...I want you to ascend this sun-shining day!
I pray that I see you spread 
Your velvet wings and fly today 
Without a trace of dread!
Get a heads start! Play those chords of bliss!
You are a waterfall of wonderfulness.... 
It can heal the soul...it can mend a broken heart as well
The heart that's dying to ex-
Press those precious chords...
Is your motivation a heaven or a hell?
Piano Practice - 
Repairing my unstable 
Thoughts of loneliness...
I can't practice alone...
Teach me how to play elegantly 
Piano Practice - 
Repairing my unstable 
Thoughts of woeful affliction and discouragement...leading me to my ruins...
I have not achieved any success - drowning in my sins
I can't practice alone...I must play a song with you
Teach me how to play elegantly and so true
Teach me how to be as talented as you . . . . 
Embrace me with affectionate passion
You don't know how you make me feel - mere satisfaction
Let me be your page-turner and take action!
I'll take action to help you play so flawlessly and wondrously - the audience is smiling and closing their eyes with gratification! ~


Details | Free verse | |

I Beg You

Somewhere within your silence,
I've become a nomad,
wandering helplessly around
the barren desert you've created,
hopelessly searching 
for the illusive mirage that you've become.
Yet all I see is the vast sunlit horizon,
that I'll never reach.
It's all in your hands now,
I am just a broken soul aimlessly wandering.
I beg you,
show me your mirage,
let me bask in it's beauty,
let me hear the tender sounds
of your poetic waterfall,
and let me be healed,
by your gentle, cool, calming breeze,
flowing within my soul once more.


Details | Free verse | |

LOST

In my dreams
I'm forever walking around
Lost in a big city
Trying to find something way out somewhere
Walking
Never in a car

Although    one time I was flying
Flying around corners that went    nowhere
But what a wonderful dream
To be flying
To be REALLY flying
Just once

Ever since I'm on foot
Wandering the corridors of strange buildings
Asking directions of strangers
Getting strange directions
My destination is always out in the countryside
But    I'm in the big city
Lost

There is a field with cows and horses    sheep    corn    a big willow tree
A rundown wire fence
And in the distance    a two story farm house
This is usually my destination
But vision is blocked
Lost
Lost behind high buildings

When finding possibilities is near
There is a blank space _____________
Then POP!
I'm back where I began
Lost

People have told me I'm searching for God
But this is not what strikes me in the dream
Actually
God is searching for me
Searching from that countryside field
With cows and horses    sheep    corn    a big willow tree full of shade
God is flying around corners that lead nowhere
And God is
Lost
Lost behind tall buildings


Details | Free verse | |

Lost in Goodbye

8/11/12

-------------------------------------------------------

Lost in goodbye
The pathway ends in sick disgrace
No one to turn to
No one to face
Bitter emotions clear your way
Determination to destroy
Is only a heartfelt tear away
Lost in goodbye
The knife slits inside the skin of the broken
Ignored, forgotten
Nothing spoken
And the shedding of blood is evident here
Meddled, tattered
A whole life
Within a tear
Lost in goodbye. . .lost in goodbye
Always goodbye
The rest are all lies
Lies
The rest are all lies


Details | Free verse | |

Yours

I understand
the need for redemption
when all they do is ask about me
and the phone company has never
even heard your voice.

The scar on your leg
hasn't yet faded from our accident
four years ago (you study those
scars every day, as if searching
for blame)

and you find it

buried beneath cobwebs of
false hope and deflected
stories of the life you had
and the life you have…
I can do no right
here, within the 
wish-I-was.

If I were stronger maybe
or you less so,
I’d bandage your wounds 
and rock you to sleep
but you are motion-sick
and healing just fine
without me.

How long before the
questions subside?
Will you answer in the
voice of pride, or reason?
Six years’ fallacy, or
merely unfortunate?

My legs are torn too,
but I don't wear shorts in the summertime
(I never tan anyway)
and I never said I was beautiful.


Details | Free verse | |

PLUNGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEEP, YOU FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello loneliness it's me, I called but no answer, makes me think your avoiding me
I saw your friend regret the other day and she said you were doing awful, She said you 
had gotten down and out because many people, have forgotten how good you can make them feel
They have forgotten, just how bitter-sweet your presence delegates them
Hey! Loneliness? what time is it in denial? I just thought I would tell you, I haven't
forgotten
I will always remember cold and hot days when a wall to a closet I was hiding, was a gift
from you
Oh! and don't think I forgot how you stayed with me and talked me through the slices on my arm
I couldn't have carried that out without you, You made me see that nobody will be around
like you,
I cut so deep that for a second I was wishing to see the color blood bones makes, sounds
sick?...
Just like me, I'm unhealthy in fits of rage but oh! I know that's just you morphing into
insanity
Do you remember also, when I called out names of those who said they cared?
Me neither never met them before but if you see them, tell em' I cry by blood and mark by
knife
I shoot like bullets, I hurt like broken, But don't you see? This is the price I pay for
loving you...
Loneliness!


Details | Free verse | |

Nightmare

The water is deep and black and piercingly cold.
I am struggling so damn hard
To stay above the surface.
And out of the corner of my eye,
I can see the shadows.
I feel their eyes watching me struggle,
Lingering,
Just out of reach.
The air is suffocating,
Weighing down on me,
Bittersweet as it fills my lungs.
The faint scent of freedom.
The silence is deafening,
Surrounding me,
Drowning me.

Then a hand is 
Grasping my ankle,
Pulling me under,
And I am struggling harder
To stay alive.
But even when I breathe in
This endless ocean,
It does not fill my lungs; 
Not the way it should.
Heartbreak is all that’s left.
I stare up at the vacant, star-less sky,
And scream.
For help,
For warmth,
And I pray 
Someone will
Hear me.


Details | Free verse | |

"I Am Who I Am"

What in the world am I doing here?
This world, now I know, is not real...
Where is the wheel? How do I steer?
Because I know exactly how I feel...

Why should I choose?
And who really cares?

I'm tired of all thier questioning stares.

I Am Who I Am.
I don't want to be someone else.
I won't change my mind-
The cards have been dealt...

Who created this F---ed-up program?
Does he sit behind his camera & laugh?
Who drew the G--d--ed diagram?
And how much does he pay his staff?




KC'06


Details | Free verse | |

Autism

O, I love my dear boy
So dearly and so blindly
I will give him my blood
And life if God permits so

He's so weak and sick
So pallid and so tender
But I know he's an umbrella of snow
In the wide-brimmed form

A rhyme, a loft 
Almost in the spelling of my own world.



Details | Free verse | |

Crawling Out From Under You

Description:  This piece deals with lies and deception...really....I am actually
                        quite serious here.


You are twenty years older than me, yet so captivating, but yesterday is too close 
and tomorrow...

full
of
regret,

as I am caught between your deception and the warmth between your thighs.

You know that I am a creature of the wind...

Wild.
Tame.
Free.

But honest.

Your playground is a battlefield where you conquer...defeat...destroy self-respect
with shattered glass and discontent.

I say goodbye with a straight face, although I feel as a ghost; no one will know 
about the gashes that will long remain on my spine, or the muddy secrets 
concealed within the lines of my hand.

My black eyes silently scream from your indifference, especially when I lie in bed 
at night...

alone.

After all, if you don't want me; then, please...

stop climbing on top of me.





Details | Free verse | |

I Hate...

The collision of my feelings,
And the confrontation of words,
The lies,
All the lies…
Hatred, hate, all the hate,
I hate…

Drown in my pain,
Until you suffocate,
And free yourself from me,
To free me,
I hate…

A million words burn in me,
A thousand screams call for freedom,
For salvation,
But my soul is abandoned
In the void,
I hate…

Let me fade away,
Let me turn into black,
Let me dissolve into nothing,
To free me from myself,
I hate…

Fear,
Free my fearful heart,
And take me away,
Anyone…
Let these words stop:
“I hate.”

Break the chain of eternity,
Kill the immortality of my torment,
Let my blood flow in my veins,
And let the air circulate
In and out of my body,
I hate…

I hate…
You…and you,
I hate life,
I hate me,
I hate…
Everything,
Hate, hate, hate,

“Hate , hate , hate”
I woke up saying,
With the letters,
“H” “A” “T” “E”
Sliding between my lips,

I cried loudly,
For I felt it,
I felt the hate,
Conceal all my feelings;
I felt it make me grab a knife…
I stabbed myself!
I stabbed my heart…it made me stab myself…
Just to free itself from me,
And to free me,
Forever…  


 



Details | Free verse | |

A Warning And a Promise

Every day is a Battle...
What is it?
HATE...

Hatred of being ALIVE...

I awake,
DEAD...

I am LOST...

I hate this body,
I hate EVERYTHING...

Nothing matters,
I'm a failure...
Each and every day
I fade further away...

You think I'm happy,
because I smile?
I'll laugh and joke with you all,
but there is no JOY...

When I'm alone,
it's all different...
I try to fight it...
It grows,
it's the hunger...

My appetite is DEATH...

Something inside me tells me to..
I want to,
I want to DIE...

I joke about it,
But I'm serious...

Because when the feeling comes,
it is abominable...

I can not predict the END...

But I know it's near,
it has gotten worse...
Today I feel it,
tomorrow I may do it...
It may be tonight....

I just can't tell you,
but I wish them feelings
Subside...

I wish the pain to go away,
But wishes are wishes
and wishes don't come true for me...

Because I wish the world a better place,
I wish for peace,
I wish for happiness
and I wish there was never no pain...

I hate what I see,
I hate what I feel...

It's a nightmare and it has swallowed me...

Maybe, Maybe Today,
and the past will be forgotten...

For I've been forgotten,
I am Lost...
DEAD, and in Pain...

Tomorrow I say GOODBYE...
                           
                                       Maybe not...

written in CCJ on 07-30-2000


Details | Free verse | |

THOUGHTS

The beach this morn was wonderful
The waves came thrashing down
They were wild and white and foaming
And their voices thundered round

A lonely figure walked the sand
Her head bent down and sad
And if you were up closer
You could see the tears where out

The sky was dark and cloudy
The rain was falling light
The wind was napping somewhere
And the water felt like ice

I watched that figure walking
With a black dog by her side
A memory in me stirred somewhere
Of times that where not right

She pulled her jacket closer
As if to shut it out
The thoughts that did invade her
Or memories that did shout

And all the times the waves came in
They didn’t ever change
They licked her feet and washed them
And then went out again.

As I sat there and I watched her
That figure all alone
I wondered if she registered
The lack of sun that shone

The day seemed very fitting
For one so sad as she
The misty rain, the dampened air
The water round her feet. 

I wondered as I watched her
From whence her thoughts did come
Had someone precious died here
Or had a love undone

She didn’t even see me
Her thoughts so far away
I think if there where people here
She maybe wouldn’t stay

There was nothing I could do here
Her thoughts where all her own
I felt she needed solitude
And time to mull the groan

I stood there, and I left then
A lonely figure, I
I pulled my jacket round me
My black dog by my side.


Details | Free verse | |

Innocence of a Child

Mister,
Why did you hit Mommy?

Mister,
You can't punish me,
You're not my daddy!

Mister, 
You say not to hit,
But your actions declare you a hypocrite.

Mister,
You push Mommy down,
But you say not to tell unless I say she fell.

Mister,
I try my darnedest to be good,
But you say I'm not action like I should.

Mister,
You hurt my feelings,
But you say you're just teaching me something with meaning.

Mister,
You come home with more than just Mommy,
But you say I saw nothing

Mister,
The night you came home drunk,
You know the night you shot Mommy with a shotgun . . . 
The night you left her beaten, bruised, scarred,
Bleeding on the ground. . . 
The night she went to sleep and never woke up

That night I was left alone,
Helpless,
Nowhere to go.

Mister,
Why did you do it
When you said you loved Mommy?

Mister, 
Why did you leave me stranded 
When you said you cared about me?

Mister,
Because of you
I am left here to die
Beside this dumpster where you told me to lye.

Mister,
I've been waiting here like you said,
For days,
Weeks,
Months,
But you r face I have not seen

You have let me down, Mister,
But that is nothing new.

You always told me to be a good child,
So I will.
With what's left of me, 
I will wait,
Calling your name . . . 

Mister . . . ?
Mister . . . ?




Details | Free verse | |

27 Names 4 Tears

You are like a thousand drugs
The absence of you makes me want to
Kill what I feel
Not because of your warmth but because
My heart is so cold
Maybe someday we'll learn to make relationships last
Maybe someday we'll learn to forget our past
And we'll learn to control without poisons

What exactly did I write you
Bringing this out into the open of all times
Naked
Made me throw it all way
Broken
And everything happened this way
Worst mistake that it happened this way
Everything seemed so perfect
Just for the record
Drugs or something
Made it seem like one makeout session
And of course it hadn't even started yet
So hard not to laugh out loud
Picking this up with you
Are you hiding in cult practices
New job printing dragonflies on your back
Almost serious suicide
Stepping inside me and changing everything that I am
We'll have all of the mind-blowing sex
You'll change struck by lightening
I've been here before
So leave quietly before we become something more

Maybe someday we'll learn to renew our past
And someday we could put some relationships last
So we'll learn obedience without the choke collar
After all you've done for me


Details | Free verse | |

DILLEMA OF MY BEING

Back to this dark, cold, 
vacuumed
space,
With no air, life,
No sort of soothe to the 
senses
You have given me.

My eyes,
Beg to see light,
But only darkness is in 
view.

My ears yearn to hear 
some sort
of,
Soothing word, 
statement, song,
Anything that will tell 
them,
That it would all be gone.

My nose, blocked,
By the stench of despair,
And would give anything,
Absolutely anything,
To have a breath of fresh 
hopeful
air.

My tongue, tasting the 
sourness
of pain,
Destruction stinging its 
buds,
With hot chilly tastes,
Desperate for just a lick,
A single drop,
Of sweet happiness.

My hands, Oh my hands,
Ever clinging to the past,
The hurt, the tears,
Vague cruelty that life 
offered,
To them as a gift,
Back when I was young, 
naive
and ignorant.

My hands they embrace 
the
wrong sinful desires,
Holding tight to them,
As you see these are the 
only
friends, acquitances,
They ever knew and had.
They yearn to be free,
Or atleast have a better 
feel,
Of the cotton softness of 
joy,
peace, love.

My whole being,
Mind body soul,
Entangled in vines of sin,
Sin that no matter how 
thorny,
Offered a place to lay my 
head,
A kind of peace knowing 
that no
judgement will be faced,
Promises that my soul 
would
gladly bear consequences 
for.

But questions, doubts,
uncertainities still remain.
Peaceful life, painful 
death after,
unrest for the soul 
forever,
Or hard life, no matter 
how long,
then death after filled 
with dance
and song,
Total bliss for the soul????


Details | Free verse | |

Regrets

Once upon a time I was in love with him beyond any balance of the imagination 
that you could ever imagine or even read in the story. My heart was so content it 
was full  of the passion for love . My heart pumped ambition through the veins in 
my body and I did everything everything any good woman could to ensure that  
the temporary happiness and content would last forever. 
 
I gave all of me everything all I had all the time relentlessly never taken 
anything back. To the point and times I love him more than I love myself even 
though there was many days moments minutes that I know he didn't deserve it 
but I wanted to be loved so that I refuse  to let go I just clutch on to the thought 
that the will of the fact knowing that someone loves you so much that you 
couldn't help but love him back.

I'm never gave or ask for anything that would ever comprise the human body. 
Or even anything that that I wasn't willing to give  or bear upon myself! But now 
I'm lost and lonely my heart has been  abused tattered Shattered and broken I'll 
because I chose myself to love someone that was incapable of loving their self or 
me enough because of their own insecurities.

My personal feelings should never ever have to  be compromise or put on hold 
or  never taking into consideration ! I should never have more bad days then 
good one especially with someone that you want  to love forever why should 
Fight to prove that I love you or that I'm still in love especially if you fighting a 
battle within yourself where you wake up every morning I hate  the man you 
are? 

Your Falsified the attempts of loyalty are extremely embarrassing and they 
coming really  at high-cost. Always worried about how other people think of how 
I should run my house but you never paint  accurate picture because if you did 
to see how sorry are. Even as an artist you cant take a canvas and paint a 
picture because you're too busy trying to find you.

Everyday my life is a struggle because I try to take the broken little boy and 
create a man. And unfortunately in this battle that you seem to think is a 
relationship I was injured because I gave more than you  ever could so as wipe 
continuous tears off my cheek Not not because I finally mustered up the courage 
to pack my bags and walk away but the fact that I can never get all the time and 
relentless hours that I put in to this into the bottomless pit called you.


Details | Free verse | |

13th hour

My own head screaming at me
every thought another fight
strangling my heart
he hid behind my tears
every possible negative thought
battling myself to do what is right
always felt like i never got it
tricking myself into situations, strung along
confusing my own confusions
mind manipulating my fears
my own hopes used against me
every day
all day long

lost my free will
god came to take over
no sense of self to cut anothers hand through me
this is the case of the crime of your century

now its gone
i keep looking at the clock
see how long it's been gone
i am sound mind

the visual images bleeding in my head
foreshadowing of next paranoias
deadlocked mind

This new silence in my head is intoxicating
the freedom to feel ok without inner harassments
one happy tear
compared to the sobbing of hours on end
for my mind wouldn't let me be

just be good, you did a great thing today
you gave your life to the lord once again

creativity no longer a weapon
see my own self differently entirely
the awe and beauty of everything
overwhelming
being reintroduced to me
the one i will never forget again
a new game for my mind to play
a new way to be ok
another point today

intoxicating 13th hour
the wave of fear when god was afraid
the muse of his own spiritual syndicate of songs and dance comforted him
to heal the hands inside his head


Details | Free verse | |

Silence is Traitorous

Humans need words with sounds
And then hear the tone of your voice
They want to analyze the picture on your face
And not to suspect you wrongly
Even though you are angered 
Or have failed, speak a word
A word of peace and not revenge
In what situation but must be understood
Humans want a response
Negative or positive
They are relieved or angered
But that is what it takes
Words have hands of thorns
And they sit not
They are wide ranged 
They are heard, understood and misunderstood
They run so faster than the bullet
But silent response brings confusion 
Silence accepts all defeat
But a word makes us happy
We need to hear words 
And from our leaders, 
And elders and our friends
And from our loved ones


Details | Free verse | |

Me, Myself, and My Soul

As happy melodies hum,
Underneath, the sounds of sadness come,
Provoking all the sorrow and fear,
That all hearts are forced to hear,

Looking at the glowing mirror,
Seeing the reflection of “Myself”
Shadow less, I stand,
Contemplating the solid glass, imagining “Me”

Hearing the terrified breaths of “Myself”
While inside, I am touching the joyful “Me”
That an eye no longer can see,
No sympathizing, no sympathy,

Through “Myself” I could feel my lonely soul,
Desolated from the incomprehensible world,
Surrounded by rhythms created by void,
That I hear “Myself” continuously sing,

My soul sees through “Me,”
Unleashing the pain, making freedom surround,
But “Myself” comes and interrupts,
My freedom and my soul begin to corrupt,

“Me,” someone that no longer lives,
Someone that tries to forgive, “Myself”
The person that took place,
The person living a life drenched with dimness,

“Me,” is gone,
“Me,” has disappeared into non existence,
My soul is surrounded by “Myself”
Cherishing “Me” by the colorful memories...


  


Details | Free verse | |

Finish Last

A hatred toward myself
a longing for the feeling of the cold hearted
no emotion 
no cares
no heartbreak
the unbelievable becomes real
a rejection burning so deep!
another night of these deadly thoughts
realizing the sad truth,
nothing I do can ever be enough
the cliché stands true…
Nice Guys finish last!


Details | Free verse | |

Nothing IsThat Simple

There is a man,
with a crooked tongue,
he rambles on,
about things,
needing to be done.
I can do this,
I can do that,
now really sir,
I smell a rat.
Nothing is so simple,
there are problems ahead,
I still remember,
what the others have said.
I cannot follow,
I have a brain,
don't pee on my future,
and call it rain.
Out of control,
everything is wrong,
the flood is coming,
and it won't be long.
The rim of the skillet,
is getting mighty hot,
don't tell me it's cool,
when I know it's not.
Carved in stone,
so long ago,
are the only words,
we need to know.


Details | Free verse | |

Out-Of-Bounds

I like you but I know we are impossible
The thoughts of you are unreasonable
You'd never look at me that way
No matter what I think or say
You are what I call rare
Is it because you show that you care?
Is it cuz you show good friend qualities
Now let me think of the possibilities
Me and you might never be
Because a friend is all you see
Wishing that things werre different
If only you knew what I meant


Details | Free verse | |

after you died

The tear of my eye
Won’t come down anymore

After you died
I forgot faithfulness, love and destiny
Friendship among my life

I stayed in my room
So lonely I sat
My injured heart bleeds blood from inside

After you died
The sun won’t come up
The moon wont rise

After you died
The spot of light inside me was gone

After you died
There’s no one to talk to
No other side

The earth would cry 
Waiting for you ….
My broken soul
Would prefer to die ……


After you died 
The friend that was so faithful 
Won’t come back to life

After you died
Misery, desperate, and anger
Were placed in I 

After you died
There was no one to hold to 
No one to help you fly 

After you died
No one gave me a hand 
No one showed me the path 
That I had lost 
From you 
From you 
No one told me that this would happen 
No other plan 

Where did you go 
I’m lost without you 
My feelings had left me 
I had no other chance 

Tell me 
Where did u go? 
After you died?






Details | Free verse | |

Moving

Moving is hard
it's heart wrenching
and miserable
packing is hard
ending a life
and beginning a new one
is confusing and seems to be 
without hope
leaving friends
and sometimes family
feels as if your heart is being torn in two
gone are all familiarities 
and anything 
that ever gave security
taking on the new
turning your back on old 
yet never forgetting it
building new relationships

to those who are moving,
don't blame those who moved you
the cup is half full
not half empty
new people await to greet you
in your "new world"
embrace them
and life will go on



Details | Free verse | |

Upon Waking

How do your eyes catch me 
those sleepy wee hours 
I stir you 
as a watercolor caricature 
picking through our dismembered socks, 
and shirts that still linger 
with the taste of your 
cologne 
where my cup wobbles 
slopping joe, 
revealing 
my true name 
       (gentle lady) 
in the thinly veined blue white graphics. 

As you feign sleep 
wrapped in a half hazard bundle 
mount cotton - 
your hand caught across 
my pillow, a furry leg there, 
and washed by the impending 
dawn headlights 
of this approaching Monday morning 
there is 
a moment, 
where the loss of my words 
paint themselves 
across the golden rod walls 
in three question marks. 
(I  Love  You)


Details | Free verse | |

From Death's Embrace

life's efforts, in vain they shattered 
velvet cloaks of crimson tattered 
alone in darkness, they never mattered 
blades glisten, the sad eyes they flattered 

hand out-stretched, he stood alone 
fingers gleamed white of bone 
eerie whispers of prayers unknown 
no actions friends of God would condone 

leaning in with scythe in hand 
hollowed eyes of black depths command 
veins bled dry making stand 
against the embrace of Death's demand


Details | Free verse | |

In Case You Were Wondering...

In case you were wondering... 
I'm not okay...But I say I am. 
You just don't know it. 
And you sure can't see it. 
Cause on the outside, I'm fine. 
But on the inside...I'm bleeding. 
I fake a smile, I fake a laugh. 
Just so you can't figure me out. 

In case you were wondering... 
I'm not okay...But I say I am. 
But what you don't know can't hurt you right? 
I'm in pain, I have breakdowns, I cry myself to sleep at night. 
But you don't know that. 
So you think I'm fine. 
See how this all works? 
Your not worried, your not hurt. 
But I am. 

In case you were wondering... 
I'm not okay...But I say I am. 
Sometimes I wish I could just tell you how I feel. 
Maybe then you would really understand. 
Maybe then you would be smart enogh to know that when I say "I'm fine...Really." 
You'll ask me over and over until I tell you the truth. 
But I can't tell you how I feel. 
So you think I'm okay. 
You think I'm happy. 
Well I got news for you. 
In case you were wondering... 
I'M NOT. 


Details | Free verse | |

Help

I tried to cry out,
I tried to say something,
I tried to speak up,
speak up and ask.
I tried to ask for help,
I tried so hard to be heard.
And no one heard.
I kept trying,
I kept calling and crying out.
Would no one hear me?
I tried to reach out,
out for help,
love,
security,
acceptance,
anything.
And no one heard.
Until it was too late.


Details | Free verse | |

Can't Think

Can't think about it
The yelling and screaming
The hiding in my room
Trying to be invisible
The lying to my little brother
"Everything will be ok..."
The crying myself to sleep
The nightmares that wake me
Can't think about it

Can't think about it
Ignore those echoing words
Focus on your homework
Turn up your music
Escape to friends' whenever possible
Keep your head down at school
Lock your door
Can't think about it

Can't think about it
Cover the wounds
Internal and External
Sew them up
The stinging pain
The tears help nothing
Dry them quickly
Take a deep breath
Don't think about it...


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Hearted

If this wasn't ment to be then why did God let it go this far?
If I cant have tou to myself, 
then why should anyone else?
Im tired of suffering while youre out partying with your friends.
I hate that I cant hid from all this,
but some how you find a way you can.
I hate when I see you for the first time in months.
I hate that I build myself up,
only to let you tare me down.
I dont wanna love you anymore.
I dont want to look at him and see you.
I dont wanna think of the "What If's".
I dont wanna see your face everywhere I go.
I dont wanna cry everytime I hear our song on the raido.
I dont wanna think about our past,
thinking of ways I could of made it last.
If you didn't love me,
then why did you lead me on?
If you didn't care then why were you holding on so strong?
If I was the one, then why are you with HER??


Details | Free verse | |

Light Within My Heart

You… my love?
That is a question that I really can’t answer
No matter how long or how hard I try
I feel as if I am going nowhere
With no guide on the path I follow…
Trapped within a web of confusion
I want to confess my feelings to you
Aloud if possible, but I simply freeze;
Ev’rytime I glance at you or the phone by my side
And it just comes out… wrong each and every time
I don’t mean to sound uncaring but I am
Afraid of the answer you might give…

But I figure that I must mature
Before I can even attempt that
You don’t need someone that will hold you back
And you know! Which is why I need time
I know that when the right time for me
Comes along, I will be ready
To confess my love to you, but until then…
I need to find the light within my heart


Details | Free verse | |

Love (is like dying)

Love is like dying,
There is a weeping story for everyone to tell,
A cry and wisper, no matter if you go to heaven or hell.

Love will choke you with words,
Words that can burn or soothe your heart.
Just one saying and it could all fall apart.

It will steal your soul,
And make you feel alone.
If you fall into the hole,
Dont plan on going home.

So forget about past lovers,
And all your cries untold.
Remember all your memories,
For their the ones you hold.

You try to run from depression,
But it follows in your shadows.
Listen to my suggestion,
And like lightening love crackles.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Confused and lost
sitting in a place full of ghosts
longing for  love I will never find
hoping one day someone will understand me
holding my heart close behind this wall
wanting someone to take it and keep it safe
knowing it will never happen
no one can see past the wall that's in place
hiding who I am from prying eyes
never letting anyone see my longing
never able to find the door to let them in
being ever eluded by the truth
a truth only felt from love
no one really sees me
no one really cares to look


Details | Free verse | |

Words That Bleed

Bleed my blood of 
Inspiration
That agonizes on each 
page
Whispers and some
bellows
to be set free to 
unlock these chains
Take a glance inside this
beating 
heart that distresses
A mortal being
That you never read
You just cannot seem
to see
You take no time to 
hear this 
and it leaves me
        
                 FACELESS

Without words, I live in
a land of nowhere
Identify
me through these thoughts
that speak so clearly of
me.
See this face?
It matters not, for,
who I am resides
On pages you do not 
read
On words you do not 
hear
Do you know me?
I think not.
Do you see me?
I remain as always

                 INVISIBLE

to you, in all I am


Details | Free verse | |

Confused Heart

I don't know why you insist on loving me
Because you won't receive it back fully
I'm not so used to the subject
A part of my heart is saying, "I don't love you!"

You can't sleep at night because you're worried 
About me...
But let me say that I'm very important
You wont leave me alone, you're in my way
And I cannot have that
Its fine that we're friends but we...
Cannot go any further than that

But you'll have a nice life
You'll find someone to be in your life
Because I am nothing but trouble...

However you insist that love is stonger
But tell me why people get hurt everyday
It is because of this so-called-thing love
That's hurting everyone, me, and you

Just because I choose not to love you
In that way...
Doesn't mean that I don't...
Think of you every now and then

You'll have a nice life
You'll find someone to be in your life
Becase I am nothing but trouble...

I don't know why you insist on loving me
Because you won't receive it back fully
I'm not so used to the subject
A part of my heart is saying, "I don't love you!"
I don't know why you insist on loving me
Because you wont receieve it back fully
I'm not so used to the subject
So just drop it please
However you insist that love is stronger
It maybe in a fantasy world
However we live in reality
And a part of my heart is saying, "I don't love you!"


Details | Free verse | |

End of the Wick

Reaching the end's wick
Hearts' blind innocent revenge
Burn as smiles rip...
Alas, come the end.


Details | Free verse | |

Crawl into Me

Scattering into broken pieces
Of debris,
My life has become a black painting
Of nothingness,

Within myself I see,
 You concealing me,
I feel droplets of misery
Crawling into me, to simply become…
Me… 

I wonder if my tears
Could water the eternal desiccation,
That fills my life with hopelessness…
When will “I” reappear?

Nothing but this undying pain
Remains,
The memories I thought would 
Never die…
Have killed the happiness…
And have gone away,

Like eternity,
My sorrowfulness is my days,
Is my dreams, is my prevailing thoughts, is
 Everything that creates my life…
It’s me…

Rage flows in my veins,
Like boiling blood;
I’ve become an explosion
Of resentment…
Like a volcano of red, burning hatred,

All these particles of my sorrow,
Crawl into me,
Triggering a reflection
Of the person I don’t want to be…
The Me in me…

Crawl into me…
The person I was,
The person that you were…
The person I want you and me to be…

“Farah,”
The calling of my name revived me
From talking to my shadow,
“Farah, go to sleep...You have school tomorrow!” 
My mom yelled…

Before switching off the lights,
I glanced at my shadow again
With tears in my eyes,
And quietly muttered,

“Crawl into me...”
 


 


 






Details | Free verse | |

Forsaken

Take it.
Take it and throw it away.
It will never be the same anyway.

A hole.
A hole in my chest.
Ragged, raw and hollow.

The pain.
The pain is so intense, I'm numb.
It's a struggle to get through the day.

My bed.
My bed is my refuge.
If only I could stay here forever.

Do I?
Do I get up and pretend it doesn't hurt?
Maybe they'll all buy it.

Can't breathe.
Can't breathe when I remember.
That smile, that embrace I miss fiercely.

Were we?
Were we really happy?
Maybe I imagined it all.

Cast aside.
Cast aside with no reason.
I can't do this anymore, Love is Pain.


Details | Free verse | |

How Do I Tell You?

How do I tell you what I feel inside?
How do I express what I just can't hide?
You make me laugh and smile every day,
You make my painful memories fade away.

It was always winter in my heart,
My life had been torn apart,
But that was before I met you,
That was before I knew.

Now I can't wait to see you,
Though we just said 'goodnight';
It's not fair that I miss you,
It's just not right.

Because I've never felt like this before,
And it scares me half to death;
But I won't be lonely anymore,
If I can just catch my breath!


Details | Free verse | |

Silent Suffering

if i had kept on
if i had lived on
if i had kept on
would you have stayed?
the part of you that i felt
inside this cold heart
is withering
dying
and i am silently suffering
from these wounds you left in me
the scars here and there
these cuts and bruises 
bleed and burn
and the antidote for my sorrow
is long gone


Details | Free verse | |

Ugliness

Lip stained ugliness
On my detrimental brow
Transcends the insignificance
Of union unbound
By tides indefinable
Even her skeleton is beautiful


Details | Free verse | |

Inattention

time and distance unwind
unmindful of a ticking clock
as
commitment tumbles through constant years
with ne’er a thought
that 
there exists another dimension
where all possibilities exist


Details | Free verse | |

Self Doubt

I try to keep a swagger in my step,
i try to walk boldly, 
but how can I when my own self confidence
cannot hold me?

My self-esteem ain't that low,
but then again
it ain't that high.

And sometimes I don't know
who i am, where i'm going or
why i'm so confused.

Still I strive to hold my head up;
and tell myself never to give up
or give in

Because this is a fight for my life 
and i'm in it to win.
But i'm so unsure
when I step to the plate

Should I take my own chances,
make my own choices,
or leave it up to life and wait?

I don't want to choke and make dumb mistakes.
You can't turn back time in this movie;
There is no second take.

So I leave it up to GOD
and give HIM full control.
I choose to let HIM take all the meaningless pieces 
of my life
and make me whole.


Details | Free verse | |

Mortal Trajectory

Wretched humanity passing through a space
Chosen to be born Chosen to be mournful
Woven webs with wisps of waste
Here to discover from the arms of a mother
So misplaced
Some mortal soul striving to succeed 
Planted firmly willful pouring greed 
Purposeful need wrapped up in treasure 
Blatant inadvertence of mans frailty lost in forever 
So few, so few see beyond their acuity 
Not yet achieved fluent ingenuity 
So they sail into a distant blankness of commutativity 
 


Details | Free verse | |

Random Thoughts

I picture myself flying 
past the city limits
floating off into oblivion
with nothing but clarity ahead
I am Free.

Sitting here with my imagination
running off like a black stallion
thinking about what my hand would look like
painted in wild, exotic colors
I am Dreaming.

The world is so strange 
how did we get to this strange point
has evolution gone astray
or is this the way the world is meant to be
I can See.

To learn to question is to learn to think 
for we chose our own path 
do not follow the imprudent way
for something greater awaits you
I am Learning.


Details | Free verse | |

Silent Love

Am I able to express my feelings
Or shall I seal my lips
In horror with the shredding memories and failures of this heart
Never letting it speak out 
Bottled up with emotions that are stored in the depth of my soul

Is it possible to stop this watch from ticking 
Making my time pause in an infinite world and future
Is this being able to withstand the confusion
As rapid minutes turn into hours and days
Leaving this agony to speak to burst away

Am I able to show how my hurtful soul can be reborn again
Able to love and share the beauty and joy and this magical feeling
Yet I'm reserved to this
scared of the outcome and negativity

Love has  been shown in such  mystical ways
believed to make you float during your lasting days
Or can it tear you apart and bury you in sadness

For I have faith in this love
Even though it has been teared away from me
Allowed to break with the shattering pieces in sadness

Its been hard to see you everyday
Gazing at your eyes
Wishing you knew about mine
I can't react
So I must wait as an echo
Until you open your heart freeing your thoughts
And then I can allow myself to open mine

I could forever wait for this response
Unable to admit my thoughts
So I stay in silence 
For I can't make a sound 
Sealed forever more in the darkness of my heart


Details | Free verse | |

The Evil, The Demon Locked Away Inside My Heart

What do you do with someone who has a black heart?
One so black, that no light can shine through it
What would you do to try to get away?
A potential killer, locked away on the inside
Now seems to be emerging and nothing can stop it
How do you plan on keeping, the devil inside?
You wanted nothing nice of me
Instead, you preferred…that I show you
The evil trapped in my heart…

Why does everyone want to…
See how far they can go with me? I wanna know
So can you please tell me?
Why doesn't anyone appreciate…
The fact that I try to remain sane? I wanna know
So, tell me…

I don’t fight much anymore like I used to
Just because the sight of blood excites me
I would fight to the death, if I could…
I've nearly killed a few of my friends when in rage
And a few times, little children as well
But I'm afraid of what I can do
That is why, I became an outcast…
Just to prevent such a thing…from happening again
Now why did you bring it out again?

Why does everyone want to…
See the evil, the demon in my heart? I wanna know
So, you better tell me
Why do you act like the rest of them?
Did you want to see me insane? I wanna know
Do you wanna die?

Everyone…doesn't deserve
To be treated with kindness…nor respect
For that matter, so why try?

Why does everyone want to…
Be caught up in the darkness? I wanna know
And you better tell me
I won't waste my time with you all
To me it seems that you want to go to hell. I wanna know
Do you plan on joining me?


Details | Free verse | |

Not Real

I've laughed with these people,
Took long journeys with them,
Thought I could truthfully say,
"You are all my dearest companions"

Looking out at the gray,
Knowing you've all forgotten,
Forgotten all our rambles,
Forgotten me too.

For one sin did I make,
And you condemn me for life,
Shamed as I was,
You deserted me here.

Pounding the ground,
My body would shake,
Retchings in my throat,
As I tried to get free.

For this one sin have I done,
And only one does it take,
For you all to condemn me?
And leave me do die?

What kind of love did you have for me?
In the waking hours I would think,
Think of you all, if you were in trouble,
Pray for you all, if you were in need.

Now as I have fallen,
You won't dirty your knee?
To help me up?
Strengthen my courage to try again?

Desperite tears would comb the ground,
My body shaking from the pain within,
I could not breathe from the dry sobs,
Racking my body, tearing my bones.

All this for one sin,
One sin that would not help me cleanse,
Shamed you left me here,
And here I have lain, ready to die.

For why should I live,
If you are what I once called
Dear friends, and thought to be,
Dear friends....


Details | Free verse | |

Lady by the Sea

I saw her standing there
facing the sea.  Her diaphanous
gown draped with gentle folds in
harmony with the breeze.

She seemed poised for flight 
like a long limbed ballerina.
I saw the surf break into an
avalanche of foam and felt

fear that made me huddle and quake.
Tumbling waves licking at caves
mad and destructive.
Her gown became a black shroud

and her sins died in my bosom.
I could not look at her face
lest I see myself and
become astonished.


Details | Free verse | |

Playing

Playing a man: bravado
matching can-do ego with
being strong in word and deed.
Within ... he curls up in tears.

Playing a woman:  so feminine
soft hands, soft voice,
being kind and nice.
While inside ... a storm rages.

Playing grown-up
to protect and defend
their children.
But they've forgotten to play
when abused by the priest
or the cell mate,
left to live out their fate,
they pretend to forget.

But look, there, he's beating her
as she uses a frying pan to
strike out in violent forgetting
of the children within their soul.

Playing grown-ups hide
secrets as murder happens,
fires burn, suicide lives collide,
while abused children
abuse children
and no one is playing.


Details | Free verse | |

Intertwined

Morning shadows hang empty silence outside my window
Witnessing to mistakes beyond the curtain

While sleepless nights drudge deeper holes in my heart
Your eyes gaze in my direction searching for an answer

Our empty love seeps through the cracks of my searching heart
As I'm waist deep in fear caused by my own selfish mistakes

Blindly letting go to grasp the empty air, I find myself drowning in another love
Boldly suffocating my heart to release secret desires within myself

As we interlock the beautiful connection within our souls
The unblemished sky puts me to rest in the arms of peace


Details | Free verse | |

Faced With My Fears

Sitting here faced with my fears
not know how to escape it.

Never knowing who I really am
faced with the fact of life.

It stairs me in my eyes.

This thing people calls fear
tears me down inside.

With out a soul knowing it
faced with the desicions of life.

Sitting here faced with my fears.

I begin to weep

I begin to cry out.

I begin to feel pain like no other
has ever felt before.

As I sit here faced with my fears.

I reach my hand out to you 
for help and only to come and realize.

The only thing in front
of me is my own reflection.

I now have the fear of
helping myself to realize its time to let go.


Details | Free verse | |

A View on Love

How do you know that you’re in love…?
How do you know when you feel love…?
How can you say that you’re in love…?
How do you know if you’ve never felt love…?

Though there may be times when you smile
Thinking about your sweetheart
But even you must know that deep down inside
It won’t last for too long
You shouldn’t be foolish
Especially if you’ve never felt love
But who is the one to say or judge
What love really is?
It’s nothing more than a fairy tale
That a few experience now
True love is a very complicated matter…

How do you know that you’re in love?
How can you say, “You’re in love”
When you know that love is
A mysterious feeling
Nothing but confusion comes
From a feeling anticipated
However, not many get
What it is that they’re
Looking for…

How do you know that you’re in love…?
How do you know when you feel love…?
How can you say that you’re in love…?
How do you know if you’ve never felt love…?

Do you know how many times that
One has been hurt because of love?
And do you know how many are still
Together because of love?
If love really is something we all seek
Then why does it hurt?

Very few ever find love
Very few receive true love
If the numbers are so small
Then why work for it?
Enough damage has been done
And it’s time to just move on
Love is too complicated
For most of us to handle
How do you know that you’re in love?
(How do you know that you’re in love?)
How can you say, “You’re in love”
(How do you know when you feel love?)
When you know that love is
A mysterious feeling
Nothing but confusion comes
(How can you say that you’re in love?)
From a feeling anticipated
(How do you know if you’ve never felt love?)
However, not many get
What it is that they’re
Looking for…


Details | Free verse | |

Fallen Angel

As she falls she thinks
She thinks of what she did to make this happen
She was not perfect in his eyes
She is no longer pure
He expected her to be good
She was supposed to guide those on the wrong path
And guard those innocent few
She was to be a role model
But she has fallen now
She can no longer be that
She is not innocent anymore
She has been treated like a disobedient child
He has disowned her like a pregnant daughter
He refuses to forgive her
She was supposed to be perfect
She was supposed to remain untouched for eternity
The one everyone wanted but couldn’t have
But that didn’t happen 
And she has been tossed aside 
Tossed aside like ugly clothes
She let someone touch her
And for that she can never return
She thinks he has overreacted
She doesn’t see what she did as wrong
She believes it was destined to happen
But he sees it has the worst possible thing she could do
He disowned her for one mistake
But she hopes he will let her come back
Maybe one day he will welcome her home
But for now he won’t
She imagines her new life
She thinks falling will be the hardest thing
Maybe one day she will rise again
Being a fallen angel was never her goal 
But that is what she is
And until he forgives her
That is what she will remain


Details | Free verse | |

Breakdown Lane

Quiet my jangling head
[marbles set loose in a drain pipe]

Silence churning doubts
[acid bath of corrosive thought]

Calm my rasping breath
[jagged edges of restricted output]

Cease excessive activity
[upanddown the spiral staircase]

Steady my stricken hands
[pounding pegs into nonexistent holes]

Undo me.


Details | Free verse | |

Memories

First thing on my mind
Seems to be you
Yet now it's negative
Not as positive
Even though we shared
Many good times
There were times
Where the broken heart would be mine
Memories of you
I try to forget
It seems to affect me everyday
Yet those memories
I also cherish
I don't know what to do!

All those memories
That I have of you
Are pleasant yet painful
I love you? or do I hate you?
I don't know anymore...

I know I said
I needed you
I kept you in my mind
To keep me going
But now I'm just fine
I don't need you anymore
Because you loving someone else
And playing me is wrong
All those memories
I smile, cry, get sad, even mad
Now I'm questioning
If my friends were right all along!

All these thoughts
I have of you
Are loving yet hateful
What should I do?
Can you please tell me!?
I don't know what to feel... anymore...

All of those memories...
I have are hurting me inside
Why would you do something like this?
Now I'm confused...
I don't know what to do!

All these memories
I have of you
Are pleasant yet painful
I love you? or do I hate you?
I don't know anymore
All these thoughts
I have of you
Are loving yet hateful
What should I do?
Can you please tell me!?
I don't know what to feel... anymore...
I don't know if I love you... anymore...


Details | Free verse | |

TRUE LOVE...

It is the one I want, 
that my heart does haunt.
Even though I can not have, 
the one I hold near and dear, 
they always make me laugh.
They do not spurn me; 
all they do is make me feel free.
Though I know who I want, 
they always seem to try to taunt.
I can not have them this I know, 
I still seem to love them from head to toe.
It is for some time, 
my love I try to hide.
But now my obsession grows so strong, 
I do not know if my heart can hold out for long.
So some how my heart I must break, 
or something else my love and heart must take.
For I know them very well, 
I wish they would at least, 
make my heart hurt like hell.
Because they can not return my love, 
I will try to pray for help from above.
I truly care for them, 
so I can not go to take, 
them away from who they date, 
so now I put my whole self at stake.
Even though my love they won't return, 
I really wish then my heart would burn.
I really fear that some time soon, 
I will be emotionally ruined, 
and that to be my doom.


Details | Free verse | |

Poetic License

There is a force outside this walls
trying to penetrate the security.
Things kept crashing round us.
In love you were sheltered,                                                                                                
but now you color it hostility.
Your embracing the things
that take you away from us,
But you color them saviors.
We were encircled with words
Of loving-kindness as a support,
But you now color it bondage and chains.
With what vision do you
Contort the foundation,
Of our very make up?
We must see through different eyes.


Details | Free verse | |

An Accidental Overdose

She fought daily with the agony.
never knew when it would strike.
It affected all corners of her world
waking, sleeping, laughing, and crying.
Early one morn, she lost the battle.
Through the night she had struggled,
to rid the ache in her head.
She tried them all.
One here and one there,
still it persisted,
another, then, another.
She had forgotten the total.
The compounds crescendoed
and released an avalanche of effects.
Breathing crawled, heart decelerated
and mentation retarded.
Then all stopped.
It was an accidental overdose.
Just a girl trying to ...
stop the pain.


Details | Free verse | |

Help wanted

I stare into his eyes wondering if he will apply
hoping that this time won't be just another
one of the many I have fired
or rushed into hiring 
you see for some I barely
glance at their resume
I just let them start 
as soon as possible
can you be here Monday?
sometimes my wants 
can make me blind 
you see these guys 
are not a potiental 
employee of the month
they are the ones ready to disappoint
barely meeting any requirements
my desire to fill this position 
has me aching inside 
so I impulsively invite 
even though it doesn't feel right
maybe he will do a better job
he might just surprise me
but no I still have this ad
waiting for the one 
who can finally offer help
for this heart of mines. 
 


Details | Free verse | |

Everything

Finally here, 
speak to me.
I want to feel you, 
I need to hear you.
You are the light, 
That's leading me,
To the place where I find peace again.
You are the strength that keeps me walking.
The very hope that keeps me trusting.
The light in my soul.
You are my only purpose.
You're everything.
And yet... 
How can i stand here with you, 
And not be with you.
You calm the storms.
And you give me rest. 
You hold me in your hands, 
So I know you won't let me fall.
When you take my breath away,
You take my heart too.
Take me in now
Take me deeper in our love.
You're all i want. 
You're all i need. 
You're everything 
Everything I love.
Everything that keeps me standing.
You are my strenght,
Yet I am your weakness.
You're everything I want to need and love.


Details | Free verse | |

Untitled #253 / Water, earth, wind

Water! Earth! Wind!


Details | Free verse | |

Blankness

I fared under the caricature
Of desolate bane this eve –
Walking with shiver in pocket
Toward the glassiness of now –

As I reached the tip of today
Drenched I was, in disgust –
Saturated with concocted sweat
I gripped tirelessly, the shiver –

Poured the shock of yesterday
Through forgotten cloud –
As I quivered under the dry
Of pouring dry rains –

My eyes swelled silently shut
From the lack of tears this eve –
My shiver, it completely melted
From the glassiness of now –


Details | Free verse | |

If I Had The Guts

I know i have kept a lot from you.
I know its not fair. 
I know i should tell you.
I know i have to tell you.

Maybe i can tell you some, but not all.
Maybe i can keep it secret just a little longer.
Maybe i can hide it from you more.
Maybe i can get the guts to tell you everything.

Everyday, i wanna tell you.
Everyday, i hope i get the guts to tell you.
Everyday, i feel bad for not telling you.
Everyday i think about you.

Sometimes, i dont want to tell you.
Sometimes, i just want you to know it all.
Sometimes, i wish i never knew you.
Sometimes, i wish you were all mine.

If i had the guts, i would tell you everything.
If i had the guts, i would tell you how much you mean to me.
If i had the guts, i would tell you your the only reason im alive.
If i had the guts, i would tell you my biggest secret.

Just knowing that i love you.
Just knowing that you may or may not love me back.
Just knowing that i care.
Just knowing that you probably dont.

Breaks my heart.
Breaks my soul.
Breaks my dreams.
Breaks my life.

If i had you, my life would be complete.
If i had you, my life would be perfect.
If i had you, i would be happy.
If i had you, i wouldnt have to search anymore.

I know i should tell you.
I know its not fair.
I know i have kept a lot from you.
I know i should tell you.

But, i dont have the guts, 
The guts to tell you i love you,
The guts to tell you your the reason im alive,
The guts to tell you,
I need you in my life.


Details | Free verse | |

Life Sentence

Feeding hungry skins with empty tins/ 
Consciousness bundle up ape spiritual vomits/ 
Stories left untold only the bold shuffle words in sharp tones cutting sweet tongues/ 
Lifeless rhymes reflecting muscles-less babies rolling stones building prison homes/ 
Plan is to keep them stoned/ 
Restrictions refilling holes this hive is cold/
Unchained soldiers imprisoned by goals planting the return of sharp codes/ 
Turned into jail masters/ 
Electrifying memories kept safe worries staged silently with bombastic hallelujahs/
No hope you just get old/
Brain stains unfold its the life sentence zone/


Details | Free verse | |

Bladder Problems in Class

Numbers on 
White board…names written hori-
zontally

Students ask
To go pee…right when class starts – 
THAT’S just wrong…

Bathroom line
Of students who have bladder
Problems – WOW!

People are
Not using lunchtime to do 
Their business 

No one knows
When to do their duties – SER-
IOUSLY?


Details | Free verse | |

I Am No Palestinian

I am no courageous,
Fearless, valorous, gallant,
Proud, adventurous,
Selfless patriot
I am a soul in exile
Expressing my thoughts in
All languages but mine
'' Hi…I am Palestinian''
'' Salut…Je suis palestinienne''
I cut my mother tongue 
In half
Palestinian poet
Rafeef Ziadeh was right when
She said
''Allow me to speak my Arab tongue
Before they occupy my language as well''

Well… to that I must add
Allow me to be the Arab
That I am
Allow me my right
To learn, to travel, to pray
Allow me to walk through any
Foreign street without having
To feel this shame
Without having to think twice
About my clothes, my face, my name
Or the visa I had to work
Day and night for the claim
Because at the end of the day
I am not the one to blame
For Bin Laden, 9/11, and all your
Absurd schemes and games
I am but a soul in exile
I am in no hall of fame 
I have to opt to be 
Someone I am not
Just to fit in your fame
Despite the agony I went through
Despite the struggles I overcame
Despite the diplomas, the degrees,
The awards I acclaim 
I am still no Palestinian

No matter how many
'' I love Palestine'' stickers
I stick on my car
No matter how many times
I cry over Gaza and
Argue over the Israeli settlements
No matter how many times
I curse the Zionists, blame the media,
And swear at the Arab leaders
I am still no Palestinian
Even if I memorize the
Names of all the Palestinian cities
Even if I recite Mahmood Darwiche's 
Poetry and draw Handala on my walls

Even as I stand here tonight 
In front of you all
I am no Palestinian
And I might never ever be
And that's exactly what
 Makes the Palestinian 
In me… 

Read in the Twinge Dubai Event


Details | Free verse | |

Erosion 1 and 2

Erosion - 1

With a scholar eye I am looking at-

Looking at Sharpened Dream,
Burning heart burning across
Feeling the sour, feeling the layer

Is being wet tongue, gradually uncovered
vibrating lips and stick while mixing at liquor

-	A chemical compound searching for eyes
-	Searching liberty from sin
-	Burning the recipe of purity

I am chewing all the glamour with tortured eyes
Breathing fragrance; 

breathing easily passing days and nights
Easily

being tortured, told her- 
As its an erosion ; it’s a feelings


Written by Javed Akter

Erosion – 2

Sharp Sunshine ; I become anxious
sharpened me while it touches 
the ground

Like homeless lives I search forever
Blue ; blue feelings always
Walking around

Always sliding doors are crawling 
Crawling ever now and then

Kindly me; myself kind while waking up
After long night sleepless; sleeveless 
From deadly bed

Changing everything; changing backbone slowly
Steadily this side and that
Every time looking at decay

-Decay altering the sides

my feelings ; herself towards


Details | Free verse | |

Crossroad

I'm standing on a crossroad.
And there's a storm coming.
The sand I'm standing on, will not stand the rain.
And when right and left stopped being directions,
I find that turning around is not an option.
I cannot go backwards,
cause even if i try to go back in time, I can't!
believe me- I tried.
The road in front of me, 
the one I'm on, feels funny even to my toes, 
and with every step I take, 
I enter deeper and deeper a life I do not own, 
A life I did not ask for.

The rain may wash the paths away
My name may be called from all possible directions,
but not even the disorientation left behind from the flood, 
will shut the voice that's tearing down my throat up.
Because even if I don't own a path to follow, I'll keep walking.
Because sometimes walking between paths, is just creating an other.
Sometimes walking with somebody else's feet is simpler, 
but ending up somewhere were you don't belong isn't.
I did not get here to follow footsteps, but to have mine followed.
With muddy knees and hurting feet, I'll get there.

And if the storms decides not come, I will erase the fixed paths,
maybe with water, maybe with tears.
Because the only way to know I'm walking on the right path, 
is to make damn sure it's mine, and not someone else's.

And yes- I might not know where I'm headed,
but I'm sure I'll get there.


Details | Free verse | |

heiroshima enemies in your homeless shelters making fun off the war torn

its all for you right


Details | Free verse | |

STILL

I have developed a temporary dislike of the things that I’ve convinced myself have been keeping you away from me. Mere substitutes that admitted to the murder of your mind.

This phone, and this 11 o’clock moon have slayed my reason’s for not just blaming your wandering eye.

Most of these nights I’ve tried Ctrl.Alt.Del.(ing) any ridiculous thoughts, by selecting all of the frequently frustrating things that know just how to push my buttons. I don’t know why I’m speaking in computer terms, but lately I haven’t been able to function quite right unless I’m near one. It’s the only way to get near you.

Most of these nights, this phone has been the entire left side of my brain, but now my mattress has memorized the rhythm to a ringtone it should’ve never been introduced to, and now the stupid cushion keeps me awake until it has made sure that I’ve felt it vibrating up my spine. My intuitive, creative right brain seems to remember being together with it’s brother each and every time I remember laying together beside you.

I wait for a wanting of your wanting. Muscle memories of warm bodies wrapped up in positions that make your mind say ‘what the ****?’ I am missing you. The you who remembers that the other members of her body are always here to help; no need to amputate a listening ear, or an gouge out an attentive eye. I still see you.

Sometimes, I forget that the phone’s main function is to send a signal of information to someone you can’t see. Whether it be via text, twitter app or vocally, you want to reach someone you can’t see. I still see you.

Sometimes, I swear I can see each of the moon’s phases during the day;  completely filled with life during the time when it’s nearly invisible. It’s sad though, because New Moon, you show yourself to everyone else except me on the nights I always expect to see your face. Is this a trick man? or have my eyes been gouged out already, and I simply missed the painful message via text, twitter app or vocally? But still, whether with two eyes, four eyes or no eyes, I still see you.


Details | Free verse | |

Last Words

All i want from you is me...


Details | Free verse | |

The Wall, The Wall

The Wall, The Wall

I
the world fades from my fingertips
like blood oozing from an open wound
the sky is ripped apart and full of thunder
and my eyes are twisted in pain

shut the door and lock me within
the light is buzzing and flickering
something is about to explode
or maybe thats just my soul

softly touch the wall and it corrodes
the white paint peels and turns black
and cracks appear on the surface
a garbage touch that ruins it all

for years the signs of ruin were there
building up behind fragile white walls
and now i sit here with an open chest
my heart nailed to the damned wall

and as the world fades from my fingertips
like blood from an open wound
the sky outside is bloody and tormented
and i cant begin to see my own reality

II
im so afraid that if i get up ill fall again
damned by the ghosts of the past
the flashing glare of reality looms larger
closing in on me and slapping me

if only someone could open the door
and let me out of this foreboding room
perhaps i could see more than whats inside
instead of slicing myself in half

remember it was your verse that ended me
slicing off my fingers one by one
it was when my heart was nailed to the wall
that i truly forgot how to feel

my sickening screams echo loudly
throughout the confines of my own mind
reverberating down my spine
and leaving me in a shivering fit

as the world fades from my fingertips
like blood pouring from an open wound
the sky outside has faded to a deep black
and i cant begin to see my own reality


Details | Free verse | |

Summer Wave

Heat Wave

My tongue reaching out in one daring taste.
A cold purified ice storm is what I crave.
Trapped under a mountain of heat, all the way to my waist.
Yearning waters to cure this excessive hot weather waste.
Prolonged periods that android my moves like an Egyptian Slave.
Jobless and still my body lies in a frigged lake of sweaty waves
Brave to inhale and exhale the hotness of this limbo loom.

Summer time means nothing to the gravity on my knees.
This drop of rays is killing me.
One to many dry spells-
Worse than a bat out of hell!
Running down chocolate hills,
Can you feel, what I can Feel?
Lost in my own bodies drought.
Hot spells~ Dry wells!
What happen to cold spell?

BY;

dedicated to: Matthew Anish & 
every poet who is not from
**CACTUS TEXAS

better yet any part of 
**SOUTH TEXAS


Details | Free verse | |

Like no other

And she told him that she would love him
like no other woman ever will.

The accented sensuality to complete his sentences,
was her proclamation.

The Egyptian cotton blanketing her natural breasts,
sliding up his arms
as she wakes him for morning consummation;
epicenter consumption.

She told him that she craves him
beyond physical crux.

He was her equilibrium;
A key to Pandora’s shattered box.

Its fragmented sins,
now synchronous with redemption’s awakening.

Even after all these years…

Yet her heart
was wrapped
by hermetically sealed contention.

…

She told him
that she would love him
more than any other.

More than any other…

…like no other…

More than any other…

As she
strokes the pride
of another.

© Drake J. Eszes


Details | Free verse | |

My Boredom Disease

Like sick allergies, 
Boredom can be passed around
I call it: THE BOREDOM DISEASE

Like a horrid storm,
Boredom can catch you off guard
Hold on for DEAR LIFE!

Like the whooping cough,
Boredom can be serious
If I were you, I’d
Get a vaccination ! 


Details | Free verse | |

20 Innocent Souls

Where was the Holy Spirit that day..
20 innocent souls pushed over to the hands of Angels
Where was the Holy Spirit that day..
That day we face the tragedy, when will we ever see changes

He left us here on Earth to sort our own mess out
Why did He do that when its clear that were not capeable
In a desperate heart grief that goes beyond any doubt
Facing the devil in human flesh..their fate was inescapable

Where are these young victims today..
20 innocent souls ripped out of the hands of their loving parents
Who’s going to sing their lullaby tonight..
Stolen away from their families their fate now rests in the arms of angels



* God be with the victims, their families and survivors of this meaningless massacre


A.Ertsland
December 16th 2012


Details | Free verse | |

We Welcome the Sun

We welcome the sun
We welcome the sun 

A gleaming sunrise is seen in the distance – shedding relief 
Bursting forth like fireworks in the dark blue sky 
Hues of beauty and sincerity washes away our grief
The cheery clouds come together like lovers embracing one another

I’m never waving goodbye
   
It’s so surreal… and magnificent to see this scene unfold
You lift up the sparkling light… you’re an angel from up above
It’s so vibrant – the illuminated sight never dulled 
You bring us luck and excitement – 

You’re as pleasant as a dove 

We welcome the sun
We welcome the love
We welcome the sun
We welcome the sun 
To omit the darkness 
To abolish the distress
To conceal the darkness
And reveal the halo
Hovering around your head
Burning away the dread 
We welcome the sun
We welcome the sun 
We welcome the sun

An ocean of love is rubbing against my feet
Blankets of comfort embrace me now… our love will never dry
You treat us with reverence and I repeat – 
You’re as pleasant as a dove – taking wing from on high 
We welcome the sun in the morning 
We welcome the sun with open arms
We welcome the sun 
We welcome the sun
We welcome the sun 
We welcome the sun 

A speedy breeze is whistling in my ears
Spiraling mad like a spinning top
Spiraling mad with all of its might 
You’re very intriguing – you casted away our fears 
Your gorgeous eyes
Project bright green and blue
You’re special in His sight 
He welcomes you
We welcome the hope 
We welcome the sun
We welcome the sun
We welcome the sun 
To lighten up your load 
And lead you to the mercy road
Where you and I will escape to paradise
To drive out all of the negativity
To conceal the wretched farewells
To reveal the light in goodbye 

We welcome the sun
We welcome the sun
We welcome you
With open arms 


Details | Free verse | |

Class or Claaassee

Class or Claaassee !

Night  owl with an open circumstance fears
from blue neglect with the rages of unfortunate
idealisms---“why don’t you”---a nag  nag  nag
sequence,  fosters an arm’s length gaze glance
I peer through picket fence fingers, while tongue
depressing hop  to  it  euphemisms to gag
your elementary gesture fantasies with lurking
adult  gonatitudes, (envy) in full glee—“I don’t
care---but then what if”---and
would even believe me if I tried to tell
you the truth, you don’t want to touch in mind.
I fail to the order of kindergartenal suicide
and prose my character to mold your moods in
one tenth hope of a swelled down deep particle
secret desire. Take it for what it is and not think
to misabandon,  stop  look  and feelisten.
Your neighbor is only good as you. Plain 
simple downdeep and bittersweet bliss bias
but for—lorn fortunate to at least gain a
Goldilocks glimpse into your uncouth
vascular unconscious. Given a mathetical
½ chance I may le-learn a think or 2
and----------------------hey,  gimme me a hecka break
as he razed her eyebrows.


Details | Free verse | |

Find My Place

For awhile, I thought I had.

New love. 
New dreams. 
New smiles.

Letting go, the small things that hurt.

They are tiny compared to past, trashed confidence.

Never quite finding my true place in the equation.
Maybe the answer is stuck in some ugly , frothing  math book, somewhere.
If so, I won't look there.
Why bother.

I am made of heart.
My only thinking muscle.

Whether beating with joy or pain,
it's beat is reliable.
Consistent.
Safe.

My only true measure of my own reality.

Even broken, it is less painful than letting it rely on misguided thoughts.
Feeling lost, while watching agendas, that seem to be the norm.

Other people's norms..........not mine.

I will never understand the meaning of "self first".
I have lived my life for others, since the day I cried at birth.
Abandoned.

My birth, an inconvenience to a womb.

My existence, to make a childless couple happy.
A friend, to soften the blows of life for the masses.
A Mother, to succeed and fail.
A lover, to give and give and give.

A spirit to fly.
A soul, to yearn.
A body to tire.

Watching simple selfishness, destroy our world.
Reaching with an open, soft hand.....just to so narrowly miss, sharing a loving 
touch.
A touch, that might have saved a sightless and misunderstood, silent innocent.

We stay in the background.
We have been conditioned by our own experiences, our own shortcomings, our 
passive tears.

A balance, perhaps?
To keep the equation from tipping over the universal rhythms?

I feel it.
Heavy, with doubts of belonging.

Wondering how the self absorbed agendas of the stronger minds, stay crisp.
No illusive smudges.
Never wilting.

No room for throwing the afore said agendas, into the hammock overviews, of a 
rotated picture.

Find my place?

I'm probably on a list, somewhere.


Details | Free verse | |

CONFOUNDED - S,Jagathsimhan Nair

CONFOUNDED    ( COLLABORATION )


by~ S.Jagathsimhan Nair

When tension grips and the head reels
In its ever accelerated twirl
When two rays dangle from two flayed poles,
And the dumb loss of a moment’s truth
Looks so conspicuous and an eminently
Forgettable lapse of an inoffensive world
When the gentle genre to which the slamming
Of an ever open door in the face of
The rare perspicacity and purpose shown
By a soul, a land and a generation belongs
Looks so commonplace; when the benign
Visitor’s countenance does indeed despair
And crave a black visor above the originality
Of its expansiveness and the staggering degradation
Of its vitality; I have this great ache’s abundance
Stirring in my cupped palms, held out in supplication,
Till it rests, for an ever lasting understanding
Ever in the vision, ever into its aftermath.


by~ p.d.

The "aftermath" of any loss seems to consist in any form.
An aster plea subsiding every look.
Behind glory behind redemption~ 
Giving rest to the velocity speeding force
Creations of fantasy and religion and imagination
I paint the skies with my fingertips, to feel the mass
The world trembles at the knowledge of relativity.
"I sit in displeasure, injecting every generation into my veins!"
New born babies, born into this puzzled abyss. 
Bewildered minds accepting stupendous addictions.
A poison to taste every sunrise, 
Forbidden tongues baffle the night 
Mental representation, stirring up conflict 
Foiled toes to hold and worship.
Steady vision behind these eyes so confounded.


a collaboration with* S,Jagathsimhan Nair

my collaboration contest


Details | Free verse | |

On the Side

On the Side
                     Authored by Chuck Keys


On the side of the road it lay,
broken, forgotten and sorrowful sad.

I passed it by, laughing with my friends,
with nary a thought. 

But later,
I remembered it; why?

Who belonged to it;
and do they know of its disrepair?

Dust and debris covered some of it
but not all.

Emotionless it lay.  No joy nor pain,
only the moment.

There was no life about it;
maybe there never was.


Details | Free verse | |

Losing pieces

Oh, how I miss the dead…

... the softness in their voices
That I cannot recreate,
the warmth of their silence
Where now only cold remains;

And I know, oh how I know
That they are long gone
And I have been long removed
From those fuller times
But still, when I feel around my heart
I find that it is missing things
Parts long lost and dearly missed,
And I sit here feeling fatally incomplete
And I know-  that I can never be whole again.

But I still miss the dead,
And I miss the times
When I never knew
That I would live on
Missing the days when I was whole…

-So I still miss the dead
And the times when I was not hollowed by loss
Living every day with a lighter heart
So far from the times
 	when I would never be whole again.

And now, so far removed
from fuller times,
These few missing holes
they let in a chill wind
And somehow, these missing holes
they leave my heart heavy
And I know that it will grow heavier yet,
But I dread
That when I am lost
I die not just incomplete
But empty-
	Empty of all I could yet lose.


Details | Free verse | |

Self PORTRAIT

I will start with using my hand as a guide
And in the end I will open my eyes that I will decide

I consider to do this with one thing in mind
I will close my eyes and will imagine it blind
With no colors or fractionation of the light
Just plain me and a vision with my hand as my sight

My hair is very coarse and some what fine
What I just described is so benign  
I twirl my hair and make it bend 
And I will say its very clean not oily on the ends

As I press on my forehead I simply feel a distinct part
I notice from hair to skin it is very different from the start
The simple partings from hair not like skin
I am going to feel with my other hand and begin

The smoothness of my skin like years of water eroding a rough rock surface smooth
Not just that my skin is like home to years of stories like scars and attitude
And when I raise my eyebrows the wrinkles it makes is more so for expression
I did not notice it with certain ideas, thoughts, and emotions

I run my hands down to my eyelids I feel movement of my eyes trying to peek
Eyelids that I have, vibrates with some kind of fear, Why?, that I will seek
Just now as I thought about it a sensation ran through my brain
My eyes is the world to me and that is true and not insane

Myself portrait of me is through my touch for now
But to finish it I will have to open my eyes soon and how
I been in a trance full of so many ideas just with my eyes closed
I run my hand on my nose and lips and I smile who could apposed

The feelings in the tip of my fingers rub on my chin and jaw with care
I do notice roughness of unshaved velcro gripping hair 
I skip my ears so I will sneak a feel with my fingers I chose
I notice it is like my nose with cartilage, so I don't suppose

I will now open my eyes that I will use a mirror to see myself
My head is oval shape and my neck is like a stump, please help
My skin is very tan and my eyes are brown with my eyes I see
With all the description with my hands, one sure thing is the same and key

It is the description of measurements that is what my hands and eyes can see me
With a smile I am looking into the mirror and I can describe that I am happy
Myself portrait of me is such a way to get to know myself once more
I will never think it was a waste of time or a bore




Details | Free verse | |

'Twisted Reality'



"life can be warped into new beginnings, when you least expect it"

somber and dark the mood 
embracing the abyss of his thoughts 

twisted images of reality 
engrossed in truth 
lurking beyond the light 

afraid –
reality seems too dark 
maybe the light is the other way 

too far to turn back 
no crossroads in sight 

"stick with what you know" the voice said 

what if I don't know anything? 
where to now? 
lurking beyond the light 

afraid 
always 
afraid 

everything so twisted 
emotions, 
life, 
even his heart... 

twisted images of reality 
engrossed in truth

Contest Name: A Poem, Please
By: Wilma N. Neels
100820111135


Details | Free verse | |

Like a thief in the night -Thinking of September 11th

Another morning I got up and my thoughts returned here. Just wanted to put something of
the memory that lingers still today from scenes we saw of September 11th.  Scenes we would
like to but will never and should never forget.  I do not wish to cause further despair to
anyone but if anything bring some hope to those who are suffering safe in the knowledge
that they have the world behind them.  What has happened cannot be undone but with
strength and assistance from those who had the core torn from them as the horrors unfolded
and they watched on in disbelief we can be there for one another.  We can make sure the
memory of this tragic affair lives on, and in doing so help keep our own souls alive and
kicking... in hope all was not in vain, but that we shall learn from it and let the
promise of peace win through.  My heart and thoughts go out to all.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It doesn't matter today
if we build a building of immense height
like North and South towers of World Trade Centre
even if to use as defence system
just as we would have built a castle on a hill
in times gone by - times have changed
New buildings and memorials will now stand
in recognition of who/what was on said land
Their memories will always continue
as will the vision on t.v. all did view
Where minds stood still in disbelief
while strike after strike we all felt grief
Where tears were shed by billions of eyes
War was declared with no defence in skies

It doesn't matter today
we most probably wouldn't even see
as our enemies approached
Like a thief in the night they came
stealing from us that most precious
those whom we loved or cared about

What matters today
is that for all eternity history has been made
Times we cannot change
Broken genealogical lines gone forever
Marks made on the landscape - irreplaceable
Never can anything stand for what was again
Humanity and psychological effect remains
We may not all have lost those known to us
but we stand together shoulder to shoulder
Encircling those that remain
Knowing each one of us had our soul torn
Our eyes darkened by Hells darkest Angels
When none could believe that before their eyes
Planes came crashing through the skies

Out of ashes a phoenix, a nation arises
and with it the world reawakens
We will not sleep but remember
A tragic time when so high a cost was paid
with unknowing souls now recognised
What right to take such brave innocent lives


Details | Free verse | |

Programmed

Streams of words I observe,
In rivers of information in which many are submerged,
Benevolent urge there is,
No room for reason in this pool of treason,
Exotic light so hypnotic it changes by season,
Widely appeasing, commercially right,
In the majorities sight, 
Victorious in each and every fight,
Over your psyche,
If you can not resist then you might be,
Addicted  to this tube just like me!
RP


Details | Free verse | |

Dream Reflections

Dream Reflections

So drained,
I feel like a trained monkey
Who is paid to dance

I can't wait for 
The chance to sleep 
If it doesn't 
Happen soon
Grim reaper might come
Knocking at my door
When I fall asleep
 Driving home

I shall visit the moors of 
Ancient fairies and 
Hills of enchantment,
Once my curly head lands 
On my feather pillow

I might dream of lazy days
Laying under a weeping willow tree
After taking a long dip in a cool 
Stream on a hot summer day

Who knows where my 
Subconscious might take me,
Good thing my 
Admission will be free,
Because I don't have a 
Penny on me currently

Time is ticking so swiftly
 These trying days,
I must say goodbye,
Before I drift off to 
Dreamland too suddenly

Goodnight


Details | Free verse | |

The Past - Abbey Haigh

the past  (( collaboration ))


by~ Abbey Haigh

'The past gives me goosebumps, 
to think about in detail, 
not to hover over the pits like a feather, 
but to burrow deep down into the cracks and the creases,
 to unpeel the half healed wounds and to pour salt on the cuts that are red and angry'


by~ Poet Destroyer

The past imposes on my future, 
of what is and could of been.
Strike them like a match,
and trap every old memory in the burning abyss.
Abuse every thought that triggers out the barrel of a gun in to my mind'


A collaboration with * Abbey Haigh


Details | Free verse | |

The Fall

Tic, tac, I’m waiting to hear
Ti, ta, my hands shake with the beat
A relapse of this self-produced Parkinson.
------I finally hear something beautiful
My toes curl up and down and dance to the music.
I float away and see my shoes from above
My hair dances to the beat and the room grows smaller
As I fly away into space
I see the same things over and over and over and over
Little, burning, british styled cottages
What is it I’m waiting to see?
I dive into a cloud in search of what I know I will not find
My back aches as I reach for that I don’t know what;
I think I’m getting closer.
Over over here the air seems to be sweater
That, I think, is a sign I’m near.
It’s grimy, I’m flying on my tiptoes now. Tiptoes.
A ghost of sugar approaches me, with the sun as a head
I follow its finger and its mysterious direction and swim away
There! I’ve seen it! My heart takes the melody over
It is me who commands the tune! Pom-pom, pom-pom…..
As I grasp it I wait and wait and linger and remain
For the explosion.
I don’t know what to expect, its wrapping so beautiful!
From here, I Jazz my way down and fall back into this painful black shoes
But all is better now;
I Samba the day with a smile smudged on my features
I know there is Salsa in this world!
Then I walk down the street, moving my body
The Polkaing fingers won’t stop
They’ve been accelerated:
Tra la la la.


Details | Free verse | |

Missing

Can anybody tell me how they get over that synonym,
             Missing. 
I am unable to regulate my soul, 
It doomed my thoughts, defeated
my entity, dictated the pleasure's 
off me, to feel the Moment.

Missing, is my unique enemy, 
has haunted me since my 
children left our home, 
dominated my shadow, 
conditioned my brain, 
provoked my tears, 
drowned my vitality, 
created my vindictiveness,  
refusing to be optimistic, 
allowing it to torment my 
darkness, dictated my pain, 
captivated by this unique 
synonym, I sense it's tantrum 
everywhere, how can I omit it? 
anyone can help me? it was always 
there, but I was not helpless, 
I am today. Now

I was born with a heart, I cannot find it, 
I am a bought slave with my own purchases, 
how weak have I gone down the ladder lately, 
how desperate have I allowed to be taken 
for granted by the word Missing, why? 
is aging doing all that? have I become 
so wounded by giving up my strength. 

When I was younger, I had ways to accept, 
to understand, to not allow it to take over 
my few remaining years, I was healthy, 
strong, had aims, was in love, made love, 
I used to go out, now left alone. 
Deserted.

I used to visit my children, I felt alive, 
healthy, even old it did not affect me 
the way it does those days, loosing hope 
of wanting to survive, it engulfs all my 
existence, become so much stronger than 
I am. 
Missing, I am its slave, worst, intentionally, 
allowing it to stab me, it blocks all my doors, 
it imprisons me. I am in prison. Now.
Can someone come and get me?   

I am not drinking, cooking, put make up, 
dress or go out, paralyzed, under its feet, 
no life, I beg like a beggar, I get no answer, 
it destroyed my brain, my thoughts, my surreal, 
destroyed all my tissues, 
negative thoughts are born nowadays, 
weakened my system, my strength 
is drained. 

I am a mother, Oh universe, it leaves me 
breathless, weak, make me strong, I am hungry, 
feed me, I am judgmental, forgive me, no patience, 
angry, I am destroying myself, carry me to the ocean, 
drown me intentionally before I become selfish, 
I stopped being there for my children, I am helpless, 
I need help.
It destroyed who I was, made me despise who I am, 
                              Now.
  
                       Therese Bacha
                          31/5/2013


Details | Free verse | |

The Rush

She retraces the past to uncover the mystery of the many failed relationships.
The first date seems to generate some fireworks.
This entices her to tempt fate and go out again.
Sometimes there is more of a connection and other times she strikes out.
The third date things get more intimate as more secrets are uncovered.
The next thing she knows he is all over or he might wait one more date to get 
aggressive.
Yet in that moment the situation has become too intense for her to handle.
She slaps his arm and flees from the vicinity.
Yet she always wonders what could have been.
She thinks back to why she struggles with a guy wanting physical contact with 
her.
She admits to herself she suffers from a low self worth.
In middle school she remembers being called ugly while the guys shoved her 
around.
While she has untapped this clairvoyant moment, the rush of it all still 
traumatizes her.


Details | Free verse | |

Follow that rainbow

Life is possibility
there are broad horizons out there for us all if only we will look 
If children don’t succeed they try again or try something else – 
life is about finding who we are, what our purpose is, and where our talents lay… 
Just because we are not happy with something now 
does not mean tomorrow will not bring brighter horizons

Get out and follow the rainbow of opportunity
its spectrum of options are numerous in number and variety
Look top your heart and minds desires and work with it
A potter will work with a piece of clay, take it and mold it
Squash it, slip it, turn - carve - colour - glaze and cook it
In attempt to master the minds perfection

We do not always get it right
but there is little that cannot be scrapped and redone
before too far down the path and then re-do
There is nothing to say if we become lost to our first desires
that in looking for others we shall not find where we should be at
or what it is we should be doing

Too many of yester-years children have grown up 
to thinking they have no place within our society
they have become lost to lack of jobs
they are skilled and talented in own direction
as humans they bring chance to our world with new skills
those that are being lost through continual rejection

Each of us has personal pot of gold to find
not always is this financial but one that makes us feel needed
Each of us should be encouraging 
so many live miles from home families divided miles apart
Community is individuality here and yet we need pull back together
for in doing so we will know each others needs to support

When the efforts of others become unrecognised
We can lose that which is vital to having the skills needed
for tomorrow or future years
Pulling together now and offering needed skills to fit in
An hour or two’s experience in an alternatve can keep us in touch with one another
I was always taught that none of us know what will happen to us in years ahead
Sowing seeds now could help us grow or keep us going then

Think twice because times are changing
Those latter years of our lives could perhaps see us working retirements
With those we helped along the way over us instead
Teach them what you know and they’ll remember
Maybe helping you in your struggles or perhaps retraining
Karma comes around as it goes around, make yours good!


Details | Free verse | |

Confessions

I almost told you yesterday.
I almost told you today.
I'll probably almost tell you tomorrow, and again after that day.

Almost is a broken word,
its filled with silent vows,
it leaves things hanging—

all the whats and whys and hows.

One day it'll falter and the words will come out
in a rush they'll holler, scream, and shout.
Repressed for so long, they'll make themselves heard
just wait for the day when almost is deferred.


Details | Free verse | |

Glisten in the Moonlight

Your glorious emerald eyes 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Delight dances in the water
I watch it joyfully
You are set free from the cage...
You're like a dove soaring in the sky
You are the rain...
drizzling down in ecstasy 
A hint of ecstasy is shown in your reflection...
When you caress me... I'm relieved... 
From the stress that forced me in chains
I knew we'd be on the brighter side of tomorrow 
We're glistening in the moonlight 
I knew we'd become candles in the heavens above us
We're glistening in the moonlight
For a moment, I felt your presence...your radiant with sympathy 
I saw at first glance the dark side of you
Tonight, we'll be together and fly through the horizon 
We'll watch the sunset say its last goodbye...
We'll wave a greeting at the moon! 
We glisten in the moonlight...
What if I was as handsome as the lion...
Roaring with pride and pure courage
What if we were glistening in the moonlight?
Would it bring health to our bones tonight?
Would it make our heart rejoice and overflow with delight?
Would we be able to survive this horrifying plight?
Would we be shimmering like a candlelight?
We're glistening in the moonlight... (6)
Ohh...yeah...ooh yeah...ooh yeahh...
We reach to the stars and hope we can trace a shooting star
I feel the coolness run down my fingers...
We're glistening in the moonlight
You're the dandelions in the fields
You're the gorgeous view that I marvel at everyday
When you kiss me, I live my dreams
We glisten in the moonlight
In a quick moment, I sense a feeling of endless renewal 
I roam inside of your illuminating maze 
Glow on... sunshine... 
Glow on...sunshine...
Glisten in the moonlight...
Listen to the truth and rub it in
You are ravishing like the sunset
But you're ascending while I'm descending
I feel extremely guilty
I wish I could glisten with you in the moonlight
You're glistening in the moonlight (6) 
Ohhh yeahh... oohhh yeahh... ohh yeahh
You're glistening in the moonlight (4)
We go our own way
I wish we can glisten like the moon
Glisten like the sun 
There's a dream concealed inside of me...
Reveal your light and pour it upon me
You glisten in the appealing moonlight
While I'm subsiding... you're fulfilling your dreams
Of gliding across the horizon 
You're independence... keeps on scorching with satisfaction
While I'm below you... 
Your emerald green eyes
Stared me down like a hawk...
Your emerald eyes
Gaze down at me genuinely...
I wish we could flee together in reality...
That could be a possibility
To glisten in the moonlight in glee
We were glistening in the moonlight (3)
But that was only a dream...
I'll pray that it turns into a reality
We were glistening in the moonlight 
Now, I've misplaced my delight...
Will I ever experience such a brilliant night?


Details | Free verse | |

KEEPING IT REAL


.   …..      …    … .   .


restless thoughts find her half-awake covering pain with another slapstick laugh and insecurities with giant egoistic words, the hurt is shattering , but no one will know just another pinch that some music can heal hiding droopy, dark circles around night eyes giggle and joke, but how delirious she has gone smiling along while wrinkling soul inside screams-- the cold wind nips playfully, keeping her company there’s a light in her mind, but promises not to cry instead, pretending that laughter soothes the wound It’s just the season of falling in and out of love, but It’s been so long ; so long now, that nights hang between what’s real and imagined a thin, fine line that takes control of the dark-- one last light on for the restless and shattered just keep the signs of moon and stars on for a while maybe she’ll sleep gently once again, piercing shadows won’t be at the bedside tonight not with the hint of that in-between edge of flight like fire and water, opposite lines and dots don’t meet eyes now aware, clear thoughts embrace her back to life. © ------------- CONTEST: Nancy Jones’ Fine Line


Details | Free verse | |

Readers Blues

I've read it three times and it still makes no sense
What's this all about I'm so frustrated I just want
to throw the bloody thing out. Who is she and 
what is he? All these forms, Haiku, Tanka, Senury 
Who are they? I don't have a clue, sounds
like foreign diplomats that's the rue.

Metaphors that are really hard to figure out,
makes my head hurt that's what I'm
talking about.
Just shoot it to me straight that would sure
be great.

For Judy Konos contest
Put yourself in the readers shoes
deadline September 4, 2011


Details | Free verse | |

Can't wait to meet the Sea

Rushing down the mountains
It jumps with glee
Can’t wait to meet the sea

Winds through the mountains
Forests, valleys and greens
Fishes and insects sail along
Feeds Animals and Birds with joy

Its color matches the sky
Pure and virgin
Rushes through the land of man
Can’t wait to meet the sea

Man calls it river
Makes it flow like gutter
The sky is polluted
The river matches the sky

Slows down the river
Misused and abused
Where is the sea?

It hits upon a wall
It leaps upon and peeps
The other side, dry and barren
Far away rests the sea

Waits for the walls to open
Feeds the parched lands with bliss
Winds down the offered path
Can it meet the sea?


Details | Free verse | |

Bedlam

Why not drown in this wave-like illusion
And so simply blind what they call meaning 
From any meaning whatsoever.
Swim in a whirlpool of meaninglessness?
Floating objects are all we are.
Lost amongst smiles and laughter.
Feigning a little joy, maybe sadness.
Driven by this violence we call lust.
We are nothing. Nothing at all.
We are but bundles of changing emotion.
As limited as a fish in its fish tank. Bumping into
Corners of endless glass walls. Pretending to swim 
Freely in the ocean.


Details | Free verse | |

Conspiracy: Who Killed The Easter Bunny

A crowded table, all suspended in shock 
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman
SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!


Details | Free verse | |

Look At Yourself

You love this man you claim, But still you flirt with others
On your hand you tattooed his name, Said I love you and
Caused so much pain

Getting drunk to feel alive,Solely but slowly your dying inside
Talk is cheap you say, Actions are what's real
The cards are on the table and it's time for you to deal

I tried to help you , All I could
And understanding, I thought you would
My trusting you would be, A great mistake indeed

Weak I know you're not, But selfish is what you are
I'm not trying to be rude, Or hurt you in any way
I just want you to get a clue and to live another day

You choose to live, Or you choose to die
It's not up to me, Not anymore
I gave you the options but the choices are yours
I'm looking at you, And all I can see
Is a frightened little girl, As fragile as can be

You ruined your life, When you began to drink
You hurt your children, Why didn't you think?
With alcohol and drugs , There's no way out
You'll always scream and shout about
You against the world, That is how you see
And all your loyal friends became enemies

You can't tell the day, You can't tell the time
All you can tell is what color of wine-
It is that you're drinking
You've lost all touch with reality...


Details | Free verse | |

All What People Say

I don’t know 
I just don’t know anymore 
Tears sting in my eyes
I thrive to release them 
But then all would ask “why” 
Signs and people 
Make me believe I’m doing something wrong 
But my heart 
That fragile pounding voice 
That bleak passionate emotion 
That thing that makes me who I am 
Shouts to me to let down my tears 
To shut out all thy people 
To do the thing that feels right 
To do the one thing I love more than anything 
Make people laugh, and smile 
Be there, just be there 
Supporting, believing, praying 
But then all would judge 
And the pureness would turn into guilt 
The guilt that would strangle me 
Strangle me into exhaustion and confusion 
And I would lie, hide, and change 
And people would notice 
They would ask “why” 
And I don’t want that 
Sometimes I wish if things weren’t things 
If words are easily done 
I wish if I could wake up 
Knowing every doubt and worry is gone 
Every ache, and asphyxiation mended 
But no 
The sun will come up again 
With every ray, there will be darkness 
With every hope it brings, shattered 
With every glee, agony will settle 
And we will shut it out 
With curtains and veils 
In the tears, darkness, and ache 
We were brought 
And in them we shall prosper 


Details | Free verse | |

Symbol

Many shapes many dimensions,
weaving amidst the peaks and valleys
of one’s mind, those that correlate
strength and tenacity, when
conforming to the intense highway!
Many storms to weather,
many characteristics invoked,
formulated strengths
new-found weakness,
when delving within the abyss
of enlightenment!
Gateways to prise open enclosed minds,
shelter to guard against the
prevailing turbulence of ignorance!

For Carolyn Devonshire March Madness contest.


Details | Free verse | |

'my nightmare'



I walked around for hours
hoping it was a dream 
that my life will go back to normal 
as soon as I open my eyes

I could feel them looking at me
with pity on their faces

damn don't they know I don't need it 
it is just a dream 
can't they see the smog?

Vision so hazy it can only be a dream 

the maze just has no ending 
I need to get away 
away from all the shadows 
away from yesterday 

what is that thing about
if you wish hard enough 
it will come true 

I wonder if I wish to start things over
will she still be next to me?

I still see her face
all cut up 
guess it's not a dream 
I can see it all so clear

damn I wish I took her with the car 
that day 
instead of her going by train

please God, please 
can we go back? 
can we go back to yesterday? 

When her laughter made me laugh 
when her touch made me feel all warm inside
with just a simple touch I knew that I was home

damn I wish this was a dream 
that she could walk through our front door.. 

Our house no longer a home 
just an empty space 
her footsteps has gone quiet 

they say it will get easier
when,  please tell me when?

this aching need to have her close by - 

 will be a distant dream

I’m tired, 
so very tired
of putting up a brave face 
when I know she's watching me 
just crumbling away

damn I wish this was a dream 
and she would wake me up 

with the words - 

"Honey, 
 I brought you, your morning cuppa"


280820110000

*I initially wrote this from a guy's
perspective for a contest which required 
us to use a pseudonym :)* 

Written by Wilma Neels


Details | Free verse | |

My Future Generation

I can act insane
But DO NOT 
Make me feel worthless

I belong in God’s family
He will bless my future generation

Don’t punish me for
Being myself –
Don’t envy my glee 

I can act like an
Adult, but I’d 
Prefer to have joy…

Not stress…
That piles upon us in our 
Everyday lives

Being childlike is

A rare beauty – 

No one prizes it…

No one came across it…

In this lifetime…

I can laugh all day
I can make you smile
If you’d accept my 
Childlike dreams of mine
Don’t treat me like a sick swine

Renew my young heart
Give me the ability 
To kill the old man…

I have my place in God’s family
He’ll be adored and glorified 
We’ll exchange prayers and hugs  
By my future generation

I beg of you – 
Don’t kill my childlike mentality
I’ll behave myself…
I’m positively sure that I’ll make you happy

I’ll still have pieces of a child in me

And pass it on to my future generation…


Details | Free verse | |

Black widow murderer

Unwittingly sucked in
entangled within lifes cobwebs
poisoned wrapped and saved for later

Until satisfaction for hunger is needed
preyed upon with slow satisfaction and pride
despite the deceit and trickery of enticement

Faced with soulful persecution of honesty
reality and truth to be lost forever
whilst deceitful one is admired

Displayed devouring of specimen
No trial nor retribution, let others fall fate
alas before finished – destiny will strike

Poor black widow will choke
own untimely death from own grip of life
suffocating truths stifled now smothering


Details | Free verse | |

In A Hotel Room

to whoever finds this

time has unwound since I first checked in, clock hands creep backwards replaying each hour
the mind's wraiths tiptoe on satin-soft feet
I hear the hotel's heartbeat
                                                                                                                  something
                                                          
something moves within these walls, whispers behind floral decor, voices skitter
the TV witters like senility, air  s s n a k e s s  like smoke, static hissing in my ears
the bedside bible glitters blank    w   o   r   d   l   e   s   s    p   a   g   e   s
my mind is fuzzy as the tinny TV
how many hours have passed?
now a twilight of sapphires sifts, drifts into the room
pale figures are filtering, slithering belly-deep through gloom

trapped the walls squeezing the key in the lock screeching frantic fingers scratching
for some way out, the dead phone doesn't connect except
to shrill with bad news and more bad news, ice trickles of chill diagnoses
fear seeping like condensation shrieks echoing in the walls
                                                                                              the room

the room is a galleon, tempest-tossed
                                                              the bed

the bed is a starched white wasteland, first cold then hot cold hot, Siberia to Sahara
how many have shivered and sweated in this bed? how many are dead?
the crushing heart attacks, sudden strokes, sad suicides
six storeys down to the waiting street through the window's snide slide

what's the song? you can check out any time you like (but never leave)
escape is draping a noose around me, there's no reprieve

I'm checking out it's time to leave


Details | Free verse | |

The Interpretation of a dream Last

Shadows proned in pierced dark desolation
She waited for me on that day
A given chance at which to bow the knee to pray
There was a rich love I used to know

At bitter silence by which to go...
The interpretation of a dream,
No need for silence no mere solace scene
Never leaving your poor heart alone

As with a rod that Moses felt,
From a distance the sound of wild feathers
A whole host of words that were whispered;
As if you haven't already heard

In bitter silence we become unshackled
From the bitter place with cold egos glaze
The she suddenly spread her wingas on windows peak;
The cold chill sends a rage down spine.


Details | Free verse | |

When I Look At You

When I look at you,
I pray that I don’t lose touch with you
When I look at you, 
I prey upon happiness and I never knew
That you mentioned me in your dorm
When I look at you,
My mind wraps all around you
When I look at you,
You give me a natural high, 
But it’s only temporary…
When you wake up,
I pray that you had the best of dreams
When you wake up,
I prey upon your energy and 
Soar like an eagle in the sky
He watches over me as years pass me by
Our friendship is too good to be true
We’re so lucky to have each other…
Weep no more, for your name is carved in my heart
There shall be no more death…
Bitter, worthless clouds spill out remorse – 
Depart and be gone!
I’m waiting to say “greetings” to you
I don’t have the strength to fight the battle
Endless thoughts spiral in my head
Making me feel awfully dead…
Many things are left a mystery for a purpose
When I look at you,
I pray that I don’t forget your name
When I look at you, 
I prey upon your joy and I never knew
That you mentioned me in an optimistic way
When I look at you,
My mind is overflowing with delight
When I look at you,
You give me a natural high, 
But it’s only temporary…
When you wake up,
I pray that you have the best breakfast
When you wake up,
I try to prey upon your glory, 
But you swim away like a swan in a sparkling lake
I wanna give you good advice…
I don’t wanna roll the dice…
I don’t wanna be a living sacrifice
I wanna throw away all of your pain 
I’m trying my best to reach the finish line
It’s hard to forgive the words you utter
It’s hard to forget and forgive yourself 
For the wrongs you’ve committed
My mouth kept running like the sink water
And my mind went numb and you seemed to be bothered
Pick up the shards of glass and show me some direction
I don’t know where to go from here…
But, I must keep a positive mindset
I’m not attempting to get you upset
When I look at you, 
I feel that I’m invisible 
You see right through me
And I reflect anguish and confusion
Have mercy on me and don’t be frightened
Disappear, thoughts of sadness
Reappear, thoughts of gladness
When I look at you,
I see…a joyous, gorgeous face and 
I sense that you’ll have a bright future
Just keep shining...with all of your might
God is near your side...leave behind all worry
Don't you know that you made me taste your glee?


Details | Free verse | |

In his footsteps

On his shoulders 
he carried 
me,
when I tarried 
when young.
He’d huddle me close,
and tell me the stories
Of how he grew up.
The things that he loved to do most.

Correct me when wrong.
And punish when bad he’d
Protect me from harm,
And when ill -
He’d wrap me in blankets,
And nurse by my side,
Till one day I grew up
And rebelled.

In your footsteps 
You wanted
Me to have followed,
And done everything by your will.
But I’m my own person,
So listen to my side,
Are you in with me this time
Or still…?

Do you not answer?
Hear my pain call?
As I struggle to find my own way.
Is it time I departed?
Is it time that I learnt?
To have my own will
What d’you say?

Well I’m sorry 
You’re silent.
You’re so disappointed.
But I know that you feel
I am wrong.
I can’t take this no longer
I’m so full of anger.
To my misery
Is there no end?

Well I’m out!...
Do you hear me?...
Dont misunderstand me.
I’m grateful for what you have done.
But for now
I don’t know me.
I don’t know the answers.
I’ll pack up my things and be gone!

But then
you say to me
Just listen – child listen,
One day 
you will settle
You’ll see.
You’ll be married. 
With children.
Putting food on the table -
Working hard to bring in the dough
Then you’ll think of these words
Just follow my footsteps
That way you will
Come to no harm.

And the voice in your head
Will silently say -
I told you,
Was right all along.
I’m your father
I taught you to follow 
my footsteps;
To know what is right and
Whats wrong!


Details | Free verse | |

Dark Angel

Some have called me dark and gothic.
Some have called me an angel.
Confusing me to no end.
Maybe I was born with twin souls.
Two faces, two personalities.
So different from each other, yet one in the same.
Like Jekyll & Hyde.
One cannot live without the other, nor can I escape it.
I guess I was born and doomed on the same day.
To be me, this dark angel.
Combined opposites, intertwining into one single identity.
I am not evil and I am not good.
I am far away from heaven, yet just as far away from hell.
I am in-between the two.
And I don't know which way to go.
Won't someone help me?


Details | Free verse | |

Picture Perfect

My mind slips back and forth in time.
The pendulum drags me on its course.
Are you here with me now, as I swing through yesterday?
I hang on my confusion,
as the clock continues to tick its talk.

Is that a smile I see on tomorrow's hope?
A dream within my corrugated nightmare.
You whisper origami images into my ear.
I watch as you skillfully fold them on my mind's eye.
My paper dreams, 
dissolving under a fountain of tears.

I keep wishing on falling stars.
Time blocks my lost realities.
A picture perfect moment overexposed.
I see a faint image of you, 
as the Polaroid slips from my hand.



Details | Free verse | |

A farmers Creepy sarcasim

The lion hisses a roar in the farm,
as the chirps of the cat rents the air,
a hound slithers into den of the sheep,
the morning comes darkness is in the air,

The children work parents play in the garden
the goats are barking as the chicken are milked
the cows scatter as the farmer picks their eggs
For the farm is clean and the floor a mirrors reflection

The wolfs meow is heard from the distance
Tension rents the household as children's cluck about
The farmers hooves are heard as the cars heart throttles
Lions courage is felt in the chicken as he bows his shot gun

A chase ventures to the early morning of the evening
Brave hearts lead the wolf into the dark creepy farm of forest
Light fills the void the farmers see not what he wants in the darkness
Yet this is another day in the life of a farmers behavioral family habits


Details | Free verse | |

Spaceship

CRASH-
landing in a midnight sea-
this empty planet
so far from me
patience awaits
but frustration merges-
an alien
extra-terrestrial so familiar to me
I get close
close enough
shot me with your stun gun
spaceship going down
air dissipates
one final blink
ship off course- glimpse of the moon
now I'm a twinkling
the star you can't take your eye off
the star that should have been


Details | Free verse | |

MURAL OF A TREE


Tonight, a mural is brushed with a splendor of glazed branches : an arrangement of russet teal and orange; dappled wisps enticing my spirit for a pilgrim beyond my own angst. In pure delight, tendrils of leaves are aflame through the glory of a varnished summer. Feathery rims unfurl in dotted patterns adorning a cherry tree with iridescent flush as its arms seem to layout the stencils of hours' burdens. Yet, miniature stars flicker on its garment this cherry timber blowing heavenward, perhaps content in the grace of its caressed shade and bloomed fruitage; enough to guard men from rainfall and sun. I nestle under the trunk, searching for its beauty, and feeling its silence: a renewed breath heaves from petals born in earth's clay ,sewn by godly hands; ever- entrancing and evergreen. ................... Sheri Fresonke Harper's Teeter Totter Contest 6/26/14 by nette onclaud


Details | Free verse | |

I am behind the wheel

I am behind the wheel
things move quickly by
I feel like I ‘m being pulled along 
by the machine
new  gauges 
just keep coming 
and going around

the faster I go
the greater the outside winds
the greater the noise
garbage flies speedily by
in all directions
some of it hits me 
and sticks

the outside noises are great
they confuse me
they cloud the music
and the surroundings
and overcome 
communications
and relations

I must 
keep the windows closed
to keep out the outside noise
I must try to take control 
of the machine 
slow down speed up
right turn left turn
never never stop

I am told 
that I must keep going
fast
somewhere
to succeed
hands on the wheel
foot on the throttle
never never look back

I ‘m afraid 
to stop
how will I get 
where I’m going
once I no where
how will I find it
how will I know


Details | Free verse | |

Organized Chaos

*no outsiders allowed inside
a lone rule breaking in
a no rule zone
nowhere to go in an open sea,
lost with somewhere to go

a sleepless dream
or was it a dreamless sleep?

getting confused with the steadiness
of finally feeling a constant heartbeat
slowing down in the fast lane...
unpredictable in the land of inevitability

the silence of the heart
thunders
in the mind

niggling...refusing to accept
what it all means, what it implies

denial or is it blindness?
putting up a **deep facade
but really
just floating--
feet on the clouds
with head in the ground

solid stone crumbles to dust
as ice melts the fire
of resistance--now sputtering,
sparkling shyly
as diamonds would

upside down
right side up

downside up
up side left

head tucked in
with neck sticking out
heart in throat, swallowing it
getting thirsty in the rain

fools made out of geniuses
or is it
geniuses made out of fools?

love~
so many are lost in it,
puzzling the mystified 
and the rational
yet many understand it
when things fall into place

but 
once a missing piece does fit,
it only finds other mysteries

stumbling on answers
in organized chaos

no wonder
people go crazy over it





Jan. 25, 2010

ok writing this sort of confused me lol

* found this posted on door somewhere here
** snatched this from Chris Aechtner (sorry Chris you're
like a mushroom here, so used it without permission, hope that's ok ^_~)

haha wrote this before a parent's meeting so have to rush out of here--
heehee trying to squeeze in an entry in Kristen's Oxymoronica contest :)

will try to catch up on comments soon, promise :) thanks!!

ok Wilma sticking with this title, thanks Missy :)


Details | Free verse | |

A Thousand Times

I think I died a thousand times
 We just sat and drank this wine:
   blackberry, black cherry, dark chocolate blend
    I felt like we were sitting in some type of sunken blend;
     a fabric that was soften and mesh in dyes to look like green
       then you started talking and the evening seemed to scheme
        like we were playing tic-tac-toe and you knew that trick with the double-
WhOa tHaT WiNe jUst StArTs tO HiT..is ThAt tHrEe BoTtLeS RoLlInG dOwN ThE MiSt?
                                          .          .             .
                                                .            .
I wonder how It WOULD be like to KISS THESE talking LIPS
 Is it easy if I WANT to just place MY HANDS ON HER grey stretch skirt covered hips
   ...She's still talking....simply talking...and I am mesmerized...
     I can see myself, pour myself, in the reflection of her eyes
       And I notice, I can't help myself to get nearer, so much nearer to her face
        And I see her notice, but she has no motive, to push or place a chase
         And then so close, I stop what I chose, but she press yes on the button stall
                                             .                .
                                      .              .                .
We just sat and drank this wine:
 blackberry, black cherry, dark chocolate blend
  I can see myself, pour myself, in the reflection of her eyes
   ...She's still talking...simply talking...and I am mesmerized...
                                            
                                  I think I died a thousand times


Details | Free verse | |

The Devil Walks

The devil walks 
gets tired
and sits,
and while the devil sits
the devil picks up a tired fruit
rotting, and with jagged nails he peals
slowly, the tender fruit bruising
and he tastes it, smacking his dried lips
and the devil eats
decayed fruit and sour wine	                 nothing lush and sating
then the devil rests
and resumes his walk,
and later the devil sits again
rubs his feat
and goes to bed
and in the morning
he breaks his fast on curses and lies           nothing so filling as figs and nuts
and begin the devil’s walk again,

his walk
on the road our thoughts paved
where all that grows is bad and unwell
to the cross our words built
where flames dance and all is unwell
and he is condemned
upon christening
upon the hearing of his name
and the wobbling of his first steps
to walk a road less traveled,
to be the leader
of our very own crusade
armed with words
against himself
to see him burn,

our crusade of one
and many
on roads first paved upon his birth
to bring the devil down.

The devil walks
The devil eats
and pelted by our stones
He does but sleep
For what we sow
The devil reaps

and there is justice in punishment
there is reward in reckoning
there is bitterness in my mouth
as I say these words
and pity
              the devil
his due.


Details | Free verse | |

STAPLING SOMETHING ORDINARY


Your metal head has a mind of its own When paper chase rushes to meet deadline, Pointed teeth decide to clump together Jamming the bar with those sharp incisors; I push a thin nail file under delicate wire To unfasten those molars from a tangled bind My palms whacking the ledge, in mid-scale of rage. Braces still twist in clusters, don’t have time Loosening your clipped mouth, I must dare Slam the base with a hammer without warning; Yet you retaliate by cutting my neat thumb, Then hitting me right on the spot, the sore ankle. I pin you with a glue gun; now we’re through, Drown in the hazardous bin, rascal stapler! The Ordinary Contest: Poetess Darkly


Details | Free verse | |

Come Back To Us

Your heart has become so dark
No truths are spoken from your lips
You are only about yourself anymore
We wonder where has the real you gone

What happened to turn you so cruel
Asking to be forgiven again and again
Will you ever turn your life back around
Cling to the love that is given to you

Hold eye contact to your family lifeline
Know that we are here for you evermore
When we see you hurt we hurt even more
We love you more then you will ever know

You are hurting more then just yourself
Take a good look into your mirror dear
Ask yourself where the gentle you has gone
We pray you find her and her gentle heart

And when you find her once more
We pray you will come back to us
Our love for you continues to grow
This you should always remember      


Entry for P.D.'s Free Verse Contest
written by: Carol Brown
10th Place Winner



Details | Free verse | |

The Veil

The “Veil”


The birth of a child born with a veil
Told that he would see thing unbeknownst to everyone else
Traveled outside of the only place I’ve ever known
Wow….a world out here,  a world to call my own
Never knew these things would exist
Toils and trouble and an iron fist
Strapped on boots tugged on my chain
What do you know they just call my name
I guess I am somebody, let me through
I want to move to the front now with you

Thought I was rich, with only one hole in my shoe
My brother’s shirt, my father’s rule
Only seven of us kids with two out the door
Now only five of us left, what next…what more
Friday night is coming, and I’m afraid to sleep
Father is drinking, mother in the streets
Screams and shout would pierce my ear
Chains from her beating and the ice pick near

Is this the caul that I’m so blessed to possess?
Is it the rule, does it lead to success
I get through the night and move through the years
I often reflect and often shed tears
Do I share these thoughts or just let it be	
Time waits for no one, neither does the cadre

Now on the front lines fighting this war of hell
Should have seen it coming, for I had the veil
There isn’t anything special about my life so far
Maybe this pen, paper and this memoir
I was expecting something different in this fast paced life
Not to be in this sand, not to see this suffering and stife

I’m really confused now, watch me exhale
No longer the little boy born with the veil.

Johnnie Eaves


Details | Free verse | |

I'm Tie and Dye

I bleed red, 
red like I know how.
I was there in past lives, 
but never re-incarnated.
It is this existence 
that bleeds me red, 
red like I know how.

I’m drowning in blue, 
like deceptive sea 
dressed in cobalt skies.
Down, 
down 
I plunge, 
turning eyes 
with this white lie 
(my life).

Days came, unlike me, 
dressed in golden sun, 
like oranges prepared in California’s heat.
Never am I likened to the dark nights 
that parade beautiful fireflies on Lake Victoria.
I am yellow 
in regions about my umbilicus, 
with green glazed eyes 
that scrutinize 
their possessions.

I am never black;
I am white swelling in blue seas.
I should be African, 
Proud, 
with untamed rain bow spirit, 
but I am never black.
I am white rising 
in blue ocean, 
a disappearing act.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Details | Free verse | |

Hope

The phone rings innocently.
Who is at the other side?
Could be no one then yet a peculiar feeling tells
me it is the bearer of bad news.
Still I answer hoping I am wrong.
My mother is ill, trapped between two worlds; 
the worlds of fear and courage.
My ears hear every word but my mind has created a 
sudden barrier that nothing seems to
penetrate like some sort of
steel web of unwanted denial.
Fear floods my body like a torrent
river flow, eroding strength
and stability.
How much longer can I bare it?
Never it seems but hope still glimmers 
regardless of how dim.
Miles are between us, 
I feel numb and unexpectedly lost.
Where am I?
It’s certainly not here in the presence 
of fallen angels.
The bell of hope strikes a sharp note creating a 
gentle chime awaking my
senses to the news,
they are sharpened making
the fear of loss suddenly
commanding, corrupting my
inner strength making it weak.
I continue to listen all the 
while my body is screaming
in protest.
The voice stopped, I hung up,
the pain and fear never lessened.
Time went by all the while my
mind was constantly in a state
of anguish and grief.
Endless stories were created,
each one worse than the last.
My family begun to shatter like
a broken mirror, reflecting only
the scars of misery and needless
hurt.
Hope still glimmered but appeared
distant and out of reach.
My mind grew tender, endless misery
has eaten away at my last thoughts
of happiness.
The sting of fear created heartache
for the bond between mother and child
was nearly severed,
severed by the hands of
an unwanted deity.
A deity of life itself.



Details | Free verse | |

Ones Upon All Numbers

        Ones Upon All Numbers

There are numbers out there counted
Six of them speak clear arithmetic  
The others use fingers to communicate
Use fractions to escape their masters
Education is required to survive today
And six reasons why that is

Five of them are excuses
Some whole numbers have alibies 
Figures are another story though
Sure, numbers will never lie
The truth is; ones grow

There are four things
I just don’t understand
Science, algebra and calculus 
Why digits even exist

Three is best
Time for home
No more counting

Two truths
Logic, Math 

Ones


Created on 10/14/14 for The “I Do Not Know”-Poetry Form Contest 



Details | Free verse | |

Freedom Reigns

"'Cause when your back's against the wall
That's when you show no fear at all
And when you're running out of time
That's when you hitch your star to mine
We won't be leaving by the same road that we came by"

~Keane - My Shadow Lyrics ~

------------------------------------------------------------ There is no celestial place for you to guide my thoughts Can you not see that I am free from you? I am a black bird perched high in the treetops You will hear my crowing and you may hate it But my dear, you cannot take away my voice! Yet still, as fire oppresses forests of life, You can abuse my freedom to find your glory You may discard these words for your love of gods, And in so doing you may simply ignore All the cries that I so passionately utter But my infectious species will guide your mind straight back To that once so lonely treetop where you merely glanced And there will be multitudinous, oppressing thoughts That shall enslave you and bind you unwillingly The crows will only grow louder when you turn away— When you pretend to ignore with your remaining, strangling pride For my voice is a production sent from above Dispatched to judge you pitilessly for your swelling lies! And the choirs of ferocious beaks shall open forever Harmony and dissonance as one


Details | Free verse | |

The Preacher's Lie

With pupils fixed on the collection plate,
Sweat streaming down a wretched face,
And lethally distended neck veins,
He appealed to the sympathy of his victims,
“God wants us all to be rich!” he cried. 
“Cast your bread upon the waters!” someone implored;
Maybe an accomplice, a friend or a fool. 
“Amen!” shrieked a woman, lavishly dressed,
As she stutters like an old engine and crumbles to the floor.

Is it I alone who have seen this act,
The false prophet, the woman, and the fool,
All part of a ridiculous plot?
It's just another tale from the swindler’s script.
He echoes again the fib from his lips: 
“God wants us all to be rich!” 
Did Jesus wear Armani suits and ties, 
And sandals made from crocodiles’ hide? 
The crowd applauded the exaggerated stunt,
As he frolics, shivers and growls,
Like someone who’s drunk.
Remember the slogan that says: “In God we trust?” 
Preserve this notion:
The poor will always be with us.


Details | Free verse | |

An island of Pandemonium

Beyond the leggy palm trees you can hear them calling out 
Through the diffused light and thin curtains called home- 
Are a people in need 
Brought to there knees with infelicitous faces-
Filled with confusion and doubt 

Broken hearts in broken places, loss of life-
In an atmosphere of raw humanity 
Through there dusty desperate lives they plea for substantial means 
Tested beyond their capacity resting in squalid conditions-
Praying into their Christianity 

No mortal man of compassion could stand by
And be witness such devastation 
Sparse medical means in a land crumbling from the inside
Many impoverished brave men waited by the loud white gates 
For a voice a glimmer or hope from their leader guru 

 
To the victims the questions remains why?
Everywhere in every corner tears pooled into hands 
Contentious people begging for water and pointing to their bodies 
I was brought out to the edge of my chair from what I viewed 
An act of God has taken some many lives and left me in a state of stupor 
I said a prayer for the people of Haiti




  
 


Details | Free verse | |

Words of Life

Drowning in the pool of anguish…oh…oh…
I’m venturing into the forest…and I want to hear the words seep out 
Release these aching sorrows…I worry my soul’s drying out…
like a drought…
Drain out the fluids from my heart
It’s gouging me…bruising me to the core…

**chorus** 
Embrace the light…embrace the midnight sky…
You fall in my arms – you die so warm
Shed me more sun to lift up my spirits
From the…underground…and release me – I’m breathless
I’m drowning in doubt…ooh… oh… 


Remember me…I’m falling…into my swirling fate…hanging on the roots 
Strangling my heart…distorting in my veins… I’m bleeding so softly – cut out the wood…
Splintering me…I’m shattering… and I’m falling in the abyss
Bring me more radiance from my candle light
Warp me up in bliss…don’t let the midnight sky…don’t take away my delight
From the…ocean…and save me—save me…oh… oh…  I’m failing 

*chorus*

I’m drowning in regret…ooh..oh…
Hit the bull’s eye in my heart…embrace the light
And don’t leave me hanging in the abyss…hand me a kite!
Save me before I fall apart…shut out the night
And don’t let the dusk escape us…

I must confess…
I must confess…
I hate to see you abandon the light…
But I’m not the one to save you from the night
Ooh…ohh…

*Chorus* 

Splintering lies fill your heart 
I want to kiss it goodbye…
But you’ve mastered it like a piece of art
I want to kiss the abyss and die…
Dry… I wanna touch the sky with my whole soul
But I’m failing and the end of time has taken its toll
Tainted sorrow…swims around me…I dwell where the waters depart
But the anguish still swarms in my heart…
I’m failing…my heart stops beating
And my desires are fleeting
From my grasp
And the monsters laugh at me…as I fall… 

*chorus*

Embrace the midnight sky…catch me…catch me…
As I fall in death’s arms…I die so cold
And your heart is made of gold

Untangle the darkness & take away the nightmares 
Answer our prayers & block out the night 
Erase the heartaches & wipe away our tears
Unravel Your words of life & delight


Details | Free verse | |

An Ode to LIFE Part 1

An Ode To LIFE


As I lay my head down and start to fall asleep I see myself being carried off to a place and time the place of our Lords birth in Bethlehem of Judea

As in the Bible tells the story of His life and how he lived and died in that human seance and rose on the day He told of

I do not remember being here but I remember the story I was taught so many years ago

As I walk through the streets of Bethlehem I see each scene  and hear  every word as I am learning the story they telling is true

The writer writes of a jealous King  and his way of dealing with his people and of Mary and Joseph who came to Bethlehem to have a child

The story tells of the three wise men  who saw a star in the north and heard of a child  who was born to be the King of the Jews  and come to see and bring Him gifts 

An  angel from the Heavens above came to Mary and Joseph in a dream and told them they had to leave Bethlehem or King Herod would have their son killed 

So they left Bethlehem and went to Egypt and there they lived until King Herod no longer ruled

As I follow along in my dream I see each scene  and hear  every word as I am puzzled by the fact I understand each

I don’t understand why I’m going through this time but I know I must continue on this journey 

As I am pulling through a time where I reach the place of Jesus’ in  Nazareth of Galilee

As I watched Him grow and work in His father's shop I could see the thing in Him that were with me

As I walk along the streets and look around I hear the people talk of a child that speaks of wondrous love that’s all forgiving and of a Father in Heaven that’s loving and true.

By Rev. Samuel Mack, OMS
Copyright 2013

                                                            Inspired by God 

http:paladinnews1.blogspot.com


Details | Free verse | |

fearful, fearless


i’m scared.
scared of odd little things:
glass doors,
windows,
leading to the outside world.
paranoia of unexpected guests,
curled under cupboards, and strangers stabbing on sidewalks.
i’m alone in my dark fantasies.

and yet, i’m unafraid.
i crave the reckless life, cheating, binging on drugs and sex and life.
the life where i’m the unknown girl that everyone knows.


Details | Free verse | |

The River home

It was a home on the river we lived .
It was the ghost of a young man whom had taken his own life.

I still remember the vision of him walking by me with a blank stare 
We,  as a Family of  seven , moved into this river house 
Panoramic views right out to the river , I should mention

I was home alone as a child , looking out at "The Julia Belle Swan " as she went by .
Upstairs in that room as I saw a figure walking by , with very nice features , auburn hair 
I thought he was my older brother , a handsome young guy 

Then I realized the young man was not my brother , a  apparition he appeared .
He was not there to scare or frighten , 
the message I believe he wanted to shed light on, so clear.

He walked right by ,then disappeared through the window, out to the River .

The Ghost knew I could see him , a gift I have been given
when I was a younger child of five , I had once died for a short time. I was lifted by Jesus in Heaven . Death is not for us to decide .

Later in the years we moved from that home , every home we lived in had a story 
or a presence of its own . My Mother had told me later , a young man took his life there .

 Keep fighting your way through life and its despair , 
you are important to someone whom cares .  If you feel alone and want life to end , Please pick up the phone , call anyone ,  call for help , call a Friend .

"This is not fiction , it truly is a gift I have been given "


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Rhymeantic Struggle

Oh that I could break the chime that addles my brain constantly
That implanted seed of rhyme that worms in my subconscious 
That causes me to live and dream in my restrictive literary world
Courted by couplets with ballad intoning in the near back ground   
I hear the thoughts of betters that advise me to divorce my love
Perhaps I will beg my vowels and consonants to free me for a time
To let my mind flutter like red admirals on blossom filled buddleia 
With the promise that I will return with gifts from afar to share
That I will gather my love in sweet nectar scented embraces
To assure them that I will always return to childhood friends
Freedom freely given will strengthen our knowledge and ability
Will let be seen that which hitherto was the domain of others 


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Mystic Connections

A broken promise
A broken heart
A broken father
A broken mother
A broken family
A broken house
A broken home
A broken neighborhood
A broken subdivision
A broken city
A broken county
A broken state
A broken nation
A broken continent
A broken hemisphere
A broken planet
A broken solar system
A broken universe
And now a baby cries alone


Details | Free verse | |

My Gift

Meddlesome acknowledgement was my gift to many
I wondered where the nutrients were coming from
I was absorbing your words, parched by my own dimming light-years
There I was stunned by the legion of black-faced martyrs

Exasperation of the undeniable misunderstanding of every conceivable word 
Left me with another path onto death
And not nearly dying, but regenerating in technological, factorial woe
Demon thoughts squeezed bile from the brim of subconscious drivel  
Accelerating the ghouls from the gull of my esophagus 

I was held down from the dreams of the fortnight
From words of architecture ascending from the brims of the archangels 
Eyes remained closed
And I felt the actual descent of my downfall
I did not open my eyes at all

I did not mean to pry into your life, oh beautiful soul
Please accept my gift today
My fierce gaze into your lavishing grail
Led me to accept and love where I often fail
I am no longer smothered in your intricate designs
Though I am surely small to you
Though I feel only a fraction of a fool
I am the hidden spark under the timbers of lies

I am the hidden spark under the timbers of lies


Details | Free verse | |

My Oblivion


    My love, shaken to its foundations,

          what I thought was immortal,

          what i thought was eternal.

    My mind, drowning, falling, running,

          And before me, echoes of our life,

          serenity, of my downward spiral.

    So lost are my desires, 

          love pushed to oblivion, my failers. 

    A union in ruin,

          where is my adversity,

          where is my forgivness,

    Is this the moment, the longing,

          after all this time, could there be love.

          the past must be gone, forever

    This is, my life in your hands,

          these words, of my heart are yours,

          my inspiration, my sacrifice,

          for my soul, still calls your name.

          

    





    


Details | Free verse | |

The Illusion of Knowledge

This quaint perspective
Is quite selective,
Quite often, 
Giving anger and hatred the directive.

Habitual surrender 
To a pretender;
In certain circles an offender.
These days, too few of these circles exist,
However, those that understand have to persist,
Faith in humanity;
Most would claim insanity.
The vanity this illusion can incarnate,
Darkness; 
At its inception….. 
Is easier propalgate.
Although, logic would convey 
That if the shadows are to stay;
Benevolent beings would conceal their existence;
Understanding that underground persistence,
Ever a mental resistance
Is much more fruitful than none at all.

Who would make that call?

The Trickster manipulates the darkness inside;
Intangible yet effective; 
One of the most dangerous – Pride.
When Young in this existence,
Lessons are forced upon you with much persistence;
Laws and rules constantly applied.
As your understanding develops,
Persistant ruling laws lavishly supplied.
Tragedy envelops.

Your mind has been trained to react 
This is a fact.
Trained by who?
Do any of us have a clue?

This system and society systematically commits injustices day after day;
Human stomachs meandering in dismay,
Why do restaurants throw their excess away?
When you are warm in every way,
Another`s feet is constantly in the way,
Of those walking to the bay,
On the walk-way.

We have been trained to accept;
Un-accept.

Once you begin to think for yourself,
Not believe everything, hoping its wealth.
You realise how little of nothing you comprehend,
To most, this thought would offend.

Why?

Most cannot appreciate with which they do not identify.
Our reactions are usually to fear the unknown.

Why?

Do you not remember that through the unknown
Many mountains and hills have never over-grown.

When you are fearful,
Controlling you is effortless.
Knowledge is to be gained for the purpose of gaining knowledge;
For no other.
The want to control and have power;
Might come in and pretend to be your brother.

The illusion of knowledge,
The Global College.
Its lessons are taught 24 hours a day;
Switch on the TV and you on your way.

Ponder upon who controls the media,
They control what you see on the tube.
Trust me; you do not need an encyclopedia.

Most assume what they see on the tube to be true.
True for who?
You?
Me?
Humanity?

Acquire 
A desire
To allow insanity to be.
In an upside down world,
The truth is backwards unfurled.

Do not accept what you see or hear;
Inside we all have the ability to steer.

However, the difference between the truth and lies
Is never ending as the blue skies.
Yet most cannot discern
The vast difference.
Fact.
It seems in every sense,
Most would be as blind as a bat.

The Knowledge of illusion
Systematically habitual, certainly will cause a contusion.
Be weary of knowledge,
Un-truths can easily be purported as truths


Details | Free verse | |

The Teen

How do you say you love them?
They declare they don’t need you.
Then they ask if their clothes are clean.
You fix their lunch, and then they tell you to go away.
You give them lunch money so others won’t see you’ve fixed their lunches.
You give them the car, yet they won’t call to say they’ve arrived safely.
You tell them to pay attention when driving, but learn with the first real scare.
They say they can drive, then will wreck the car in the first year of solo driving.
They hug their girlfriends, but don’t want you around.
They need you in troubles, but can’t stand you in peace.
They go beyond the limits, then sneer at your demands.
They need help but won’t listen to your advice.
They need help but will try to do it all alone.
They want to be on their own, but depend on you.
They go off alone, but will keep coming back for yet a while.
They love you but will never say so.
They hate the situation they’re in, but aren’t ready to leave.
They think they’re ready for everything, but they’re not.
They think they’re ready to be alone, but the world won’t let them be.
I love my teen and will worry when he finally leaves.
His relief will be tinged with fear.
He will always be welcome back home, but may not come.
I will miss him and he will miss me, though he will never admit it.
He thinks I don’t understand how things are today, because I’m old.
Technology changes, but the emotions of growing up are always the same.
Needing to go forward, but feeling trapped remains the same with each generation.
Being held back by time, conventions, laws, and rules never changes.
I understand, they’re just too young to realize that I do.
I do understand, because I’m already standing in the world he wants to enter.
You will know they care after they’ve left home and call home to hear your voice.
Someday they may even come home, kiss you, and say thanks.

Contest: Coming of Age  2nd place


Details | Free verse | |

This Whim Called Love

I breathe in ardor!
I grapple in passion!
...but of this whim called….love?
I am unacquainted


Details | Free verse | |

The Reality Of

I have problems seeing the Christian God as the Alpha and Omega
-
All phases of life depending on Him
No matter what decision's made, he has the ball in his court-

He plays games in spite our feelings such as asking  Abraham to murder 
his only son- if that God knew what we think and what we feel-
how could he do that- then to reneg on it just to show He's real.

His followers know- they claim, God knows the universe and our hearts-
then why did he need proof from Abraham  to show boat his love for him?
Why did he hurt him so bad- with the close death of his only son for an Angel to come down and say “Stop!”
Why did God need that masochistic proof when he already know?

And supply our needs, no matter how large or small? What about all the 
millions of children who die everyday from starvation? From abuse and rape?
Is that just a “different way” for the almighty giver?”

He knows the weight of our burden yet never tries to lighten it.
He know when we are trying, he knows we care
Monitors each stumble, beneath weight too heavily given us.
Monitors but does not help- 
God's mercy to our sufferings is like a butcher's empathy to a cow he
bled for money....

“God shall never leave us,” I believe he enjoys the masochistic sights- perhaps that is why
he never leaves our side.

Praise and adoration to Him, as we live in *****and are forced into survival by sin?
Bend MY knee to him, I think not.

I'd rather a Man act as a God than a God act worse than a man.

Heaven has no turmoil- heartache or desperation, Policemen or judges,
murderers or convicts. Why we ask- Cause' God wants that masochistic play.


He says to forget about worldly pleasures- that is the only way into Heaven
Before it is too late- He wishes to corrupt those who have yet to be corrupted.
A jealous God, yes he is.

And they say upon the Lord-”They shall raise up upon the wings of eagles, shall
run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” All that means to me is you are more a slave in heaven than in life.
“He made many waters, not all streams will run dry”, yet he killed the entire world just to have fun playing with his big boat full of animals he could manipulate.

“But without faith it is impossible to please him” Do, if one can communicate God we wouldn't need faith.  And  faith alone-
For” God so loved the world  he gave his only begotten son” Mayhap He did, but so far as I see it was the Romans who held him captured and and crucified him.


Details | Free verse | |

'Clumsy Me'


I wanted to run 
but it was all in vain
you were just a little bit faster 

I wanted to cut you off 
but you already invaded my sense of being 

In between the unknown 
things made themselves known 
all the invisible 
Became visible 
everything I wanted 
was right there for the taking 
and yet 
I couldn't take it - 

too afraid it would slip out of my hands

©230420121445

*Ps:nope I am not in love, just sleeping in intervals* 
:)


Details | Free verse | |

Alien Invasion

       Alien Invasion

In Miami the invasion must be complete
Where did they come from and are they green?
Signs are everywhere
In shop windows signs read
“We speak English also”
How did they learn so quick?
How did they adapt so fast?
I understand they come from Cuba
A planet I’m not familiar with
One of them approached me today with
“Hasta la vista baby”
I guess that means the invasion is complete
All I could say was, “Take me to your leader”
And accepted my defeat


Details | Free verse | |

We're To Be

I saw what we would look like:
Those two Lilies living lively in close proximity;
So close, in fact, their identical buds stare into
their mere reflections of passionate pastal smiles
and blushing petals like the powdered cheeks of a middle school affectionary -

A glimpse of us displayed
in the large field - two Dandelions
uncommonly rooted within centimeters of each other,
Close-cornered so in that their seeds,
Like an arranged marriage, coupled in the wind's 
breasting breeze -
Yet as sure as death, to be split by unsure currents and rushes
of High and Low pressures.
Known Pressures;

I thought I caught a glance
Of what possibly could've been there-
growing azaleas
masked by a single magnolia:
self-infatuated, blinded by selfish desire (or wishful thinking)-
an image of what
we were to be.


Details | Free verse | |

alone

alone in the darkness 
alone in my hell 
no one to hold me 
no one to see 
no one to care 
what will happen to me 
people they see me 
sitting on the street 
but to them I'm invisible 
even if I scream 
when I beg for money 
they all look away 
then one day I'll leave 
and no one will notice 
and no one will care 
and no one will see 
the small crumpled body 
that once was me


Details | Free verse | |

Disconnect

stars hang above
suspended like so many
sick children – distant
in other countries

look up, look down
how to ever know them?
this is all old news
faces and light, trapped 
in separate frames

images still travel,
are understood as physical
wonder when the day will be
to reach out, reach them
before they burn out.


Details | Free verse | |

A Daydream

She placed fresh flowers in the vase.
She played a happy tune on the piano.
Yet there is no smile upon her face.

She read a book chocked full of jokes.
She slipped her favorite necklace on.
Yet there is no smile upon her face.

She wore her most fancy dress.
She wanted to look her very best.
Yet there is no smile upon her face.

He was the man of her dreams.
He left her for another woman.
There may never be a smile upon her face.


Details | Free verse | |

A Little Wierd

Sunlight waves
 I look out into the world with drunken haze...
  ever liked to hop on one leg and change the other?
Try it, you could tell which one is better; which one is sturdy, which one is weak.
 Touch the stuble hair down there
   You know, the ones between your knee
What other place is there to touch?
 Are we getting frisky?
They're like tiny hammer nails, scratching on your fingerprint
 Will it mess up your identity?
   That tiny little cinch
Like a tear on a womens stocking; or could we still call it hoisery?
 Why the thin lace, why the border; like the feeling of some order
   Some reserve perhaps...

                                                  Hey
                                       what do youy say?
                                shall we take a stroll together
                                    an awckward feeling walk
                               where we could be so very open
                                     and scare ourselves a bit
                              not knowing what the other says
                              
                              not understanding the others jokes:

Every see a funny man cry?
Crying with his mouth and smiling with his eyes
All because his girlfriend got plastic surgery
He was happy for the rack, but when he check his wallet he was short stacked

                                             Pu-Dum-Ching!
Hmmmm no good

Do watch the night sky and hope for a U.F.O
Undergarments Forfiting Options
...A bet the boys would like that
Boys...
Men...
That an interesting thing
I wonder when we stick with one, does the urge stay for a fling?
Is that what moves us from animal to man?
Tolerance and Control
I love you for I stay
But!
My apetite tells me to go, and go, and go

                                                          STOP!
                                                            GO!
                                                   Oh I don't know      


Interesting many subjects floating in my head
I hope its not as original as I fed
but isn't it nice to be a little wierd?

The sun is shining thin
That answer's never clear


Details | Free verse | |

stumped

Have you ever wanted something 
So bad, that in thinking about it,
you feel this huge well of tears rising up?
But you push it down,
pull the plug from the drain…
since you need to be where you are,
but you don’t really want to be there,
just tired.

Need trumping want. 

It’s a bit confusing, actually…
because you, in effect,
become that need,
not necessarily wanted, just needed.

But isn’t being needed,
something we all want?

Or I could be wrong…
not everybody wants to be needed-

Since it can equate to a lifetime
of just giving too much of yourself,
that you run the risk of losing that self,
that you don’t even know 
what you want anymore

Maybe it would also help
if every once in a while,
we acknowledge that 
being wanted is something 
that we also need?

Just to keep us sane, I suppose.

To be needed is too different
from being wanted.

One word is for survival,
while the other is for satisfaction.

So which would you choose to be?




08082011
**this is pretty rough,
just went on a sort of crazy frame of mind here
--as for my title, hmm was just really stumped what to title it?
I guess it also works ;)


Details | Free verse | |

Sitting Alone

Sitting alone here,
all by myself,
looking at a reflection that I do not recall.
I see a face looking back at me,
a twin,
but not my twin,
no I see a pale face,
I see jealously, pain, sorrow, and a frown
I see all the negative.
I see fear,
I see nothing.

I am sitting alone,
in my room
white walls surround me.
I hear the trains blow their horns off in the distance,
and the cars and trucks roaring down the lonesome highways.
I can even the crying and wailing of sirens
blazing down the avenues,
"Where is the fire, folks!?"

The wind blows through my window,
moving the blinds back and forth,
and I sit there alone,
smiling and singing a little.
Sitting there alone,
peaceful and tired
wanting to rest my head,
but scared too face the nightmares.
Too hear the voices of the dead
call out my name.
And I sit there alone
thinking of what once was,
beauty and harmony nomore
in my trial of certainty.


Details | Free verse | |

May 4th

Frustration
Confusion
Panic
Rage
Violance
Death
May 4th is still alive.


Details | Free verse | |

When you know

When you know, you know
That's what they say
The thing is I know, but do you?

Some way, somehow
I know, you know
But do you know that I know?

Knowing all this knowledge
About knowing 
Got me confused.

The only thing I know is…
When you know, you know
And I know you


Details | Free verse | |

God Over Us

God over us 
like hard rock covering land mollusks,
shielding them 
from tropic sun
 (like hell raging on Gomorrah)
and velvety ocean breeze 
carrying salt to season coconut water.
Zebra type, like a leopard’s stubborn spots,
Shun the selfless offering 
for the small of a hard back; 
the product is beheld on hot concrete.

If we as March hares, fast, 
hippity hop 
in green pastures 
his Spirit pulled from a top hat, 
but when rain clouds change complexion 
screening the eye of sun, 
we set off along crooked burrows 
to escape morning shower.
At home we are mostly wet.

Joseph in colored coat; 
his reading of Pharaoh’s memory 
is for his days 
(the vision still stands).
Meager bulls swigging loaded cows 
and Lot galloping hard 
with back against Sodom.
How damaged are we 
when children bear no children?


Details | Free verse | |

DECEPTION

Hand in hand and
Eyes to eyes,
Promises unending
As if from the heart,
Pregnancy struck
Then hand out of hand
And eyes apart from eyes
Leaving the girl in stark anguish...


BY: CHARLES MELODY (LIGHTNING INK).


Details | Free verse | |

Let Me In

You feel the warmth

sun on your bodies, your skin hot to touch

Got to let the burn go under

Your lips a blush

flowing the blood cells, this mouth can erupt

Skin of earth is rough don't rupture

and I say hey

hey

hey

What lovely evening; moon above my eye

and I say wait

wait

wait

Didn't think this evening...pressure's building high

I shield; a corpse

Something you wanted, you did have to say

but my tongue got caught right under

I need a road

Tires are heaving, this run can't be raced

let me fall, don't watch my blunder

And I say come

come

come

Sit beside me friend, I didn't say: Just let it end

And I say stay

stay

stay

I know my truths are hard to find, but you'll dig deep for a little lie

Let me in

Let me in

Let me in

I didn't say: Let it end

Just let me in

breath from my wind

You drank my taste

don't let it go to waste

You let me in

breath from my wind

You drank my taste

Don't let it go to waste

Don't let it go to waste

Don't let it go to waste

...


Just reach again; I'll pace.


Details | Free verse | |

Checkmate

His eyes can not register the disbelief, that his defenses were not at all a defense. The equation was 
too complex, nor could his brain fathom how stratigically his opponent manipulated him. He believed his 
plan to be flawless, every piece placed with intention to ensure his enemy could not advance. There 
had been no sign of threat, constructed no weakness, ignored the pawn as he began his brutal attack. 
Swiftly he dispersed his knights, galiently defending his honor, the two working as one. He attacked 
the outside with his bishops, eliminating the possibility of escape if his victom decided to run. He 
slaughtered his prey with no remorse, destroying any threat or position of power, be ruined by haste. 
Greedily his rook captured the queen, raping the last piece of defense, no only one move away from.... 
checkmate! His king fell and his eyes can register the disbelief, that his defenses were not at all a 
defense. Answering the riddle that confused him simply, " the plan he believed he designed, I had 
designed for him". Every piece he believed he captured was purposely sacrifieced to produce the 
illusion as real. What he thought to be only a game, was in truth my creation of a very lucid and deadly
 battlefield. Move by move he obliged my creation, knowing as you you would, accepting every 
oppertunity given to destroy everyone. And as his king falls, true and loyal stands the assasion, and he 
realizes his army was no match against a forgotten pawn.


Details | Free verse | |

Berkeley Politics

The pennies from my pocket
Fall
And turn into the ash in
The cracks along some sidewalk
I have never walked on

In daylight I reflect upon the disappearance
And count on cut out fingers
All the days I spent looking for the copper bits
But
Sometimes when the moon in the mind
Reflects some of the darkness
I only shed light
On the depression of their absence

The reason I am looking
For these few and far pieces
Is to pay the price
Of another man’s ruined glory

To pay the hobo
Leaning on the corner streetlight
He was once the politician
Hoping for change


Details | Free verse | |

A grain of sand to the universe

A tiny, concrete-covered sphere,
floating in an infinity of nothing,
thinking it’s something.


Details | Free verse | |

Somber Tears

As the sun sets
and the twilight comes out,
as the birds and squrriels are no where in sight.

As the whores and pimps sit on street corners,
waiting for street lights to turn from green to red.
As cadillacs stop and roll their windows down.

I can her the faint cry deep in the darkness,
of dirty gutters and dark, dead end alleyways,
I hear the faint tears fall and hit concrete pavement.

I feel the faint cries of whores,
I hear the sound of backhand hitting face
and brused tissue and broken noses are everywhere.

And the somber tears fall onto pillow cases,
and white motel bedsheets run red with blood
and cheap Italian wine.

And you can her the poet over the radio,
reading his own work for the one millionth time
and you can hear his soul slowly wanting to die.

He drowns himself in smoke and alcohol
the whore takes her pay, or spends a night in a jail cell,
the pimp nowhere to be found,
with a shiny blade stuck deep in his gut.

And the somber tears fall gently on the concrete pavement,
the floors of a jail cell,
tears on the pillow case and tears on a lonesome stage.

Tears never present, but are seen by many,
pain aches and pain takes away,
and I pour one more drink for the whore.

She takes me away,
and I caught her salty, somber tear,
and she crawled into my warm embrace.

I was the one who stuck the blade in the gut of that pimp,
who broke her nose and made her bleed,
with a cowardess and souless backhand.

I walk into the moonlight,
hearing the somber tears all around me,
crash violently to the concrete pavement.

The Earth rumbles and erupts with these tears,
that are shead for fellow Men, and Women and Children,
but we all look at ourselves and smile.

Happy we don't pay rent,
happy we don't have cancer,
happy we aren't six feet under;

But we still all cry,
Why?
Somber tears all fall in one big wave

crashing violently on the concrete pavement.
Now the red light turns green,
and the traffic moves along,
the whore is still at her corner,
the pimp still with the blade in his gut.


Details | Free verse | |

Depression

Depression

3 o’clock in the morning…
The sounds of bed frames hitting drywall,
The sounds of Chopin and Coltrane played
With a hint of sadness in tone.
Sounds of whores and pimps arguing;
“Where is the money, you whore?!”
“I don’t have the money!”
A sound of a slap to the face
A big hand crushing bone,
Blood everywhere
Red streaks on white walls.
The sound of drunks walking gloomy streets,
Police and ambulance rush down burned out streets
Sirens wailing, crying out!

A child, six years old
Crying, “Momma! Momma!”
Shedding tears over his dying mother, lost her soul to the
Crack pipe.
Rest In Peace.
A sound of a .357 magnum revolver click
And a gunshot shakes the nerves of many,
And for a moment the sweet and peaceful silence.

“Dispatch, suicide on 46th street Hollywood Boulevard, Send the Corner. Over.”
Then the darkness sails over
And the entire cities are showered with tears from the heavens,
But no one weeps,
Not a single soul…

-10/2/13-


Details | Free verse | |

Peace Is Needed For Pete's Sake

Imagine children waking up to bombs and sirens in the night.
Parents calming their children's screams of fright.
Rockets bursting in air.
People fleeing their homes, cries of anguish in their voices.

Violence, suffering, dying, too much-
Children homeless, parentless, living on streets.
Peace is needed for Pete's sake.

Politics, religion, race, and greed-
People world wide open your eyes.
We're destroying our human race.

Allow the children to hear laughter again.
Laying their heads on a love one's lap,
Lifting fears and giving them hope
A brighter future for man, woman and child.
Is that asking for too much?

Nothing but destruction in minds of many.
Stop, stop destroying humankind.
Find peace and heal in time.


Details | Free verse | |

What lies beneath

Linger through the moonlit night
Wear the mask and cease to exist
A face within a swirl of mist
extend my arm and turn my fist
Red rivers flowing through my veins
Yawls for an exit to freedom
Scratching the inner of my skin

The colors of my face drain
By the shrill of trees dwelling within the mist 
Howls of wind stirs the soul with its every spin 

Eyes rolling everywhere with fake smiles and perfection covering their every inch
Lots of copies rule over this world 
A cry of agony screamed my soul 
A yearn for this play to end

A dream of truth
Cast upon the mind
Try to reach a point where every thought is a positive
Until the day we crash
Hoping for a lie to hide our very soul
A simple three words
Everything is okay!
There lies the process that kills us all
Through our soul it winds and steal our mind

Mighty echoes of silent cries 
Rushes through the nights darkness and bitter silence
With the melody of horror
Down on my knees 
With tears flowing with red rivers 
I wailed in pain
I wail in pity
My reflection is my enemy



Details | Free verse | |

Beyond the asteroid belt

From on top of a sharp hill
My feet have molded the dirt,
oh I am wandering still 
How long does it take to fall again?
it's too late this time, I'm afraid,
The ship's already gone,
The fire from the engine is led,
The words for them never can be said,
Taunting images of the new that passed
are provoking these incredible feelings
to emerge and leave me speechless,
completely baffled.
Now I am outside of the blue Terra,
Moving with great speed but to no aim,
The ship has reached the belt 
the asteroids are plenty, enough to alarm me,
So I kept silent, one more minute,
Now I exit the danger and face the miracle,
My heart is filled with confusion, 
too many planets, to many choices,
But I know now, It took me just a second
to understand, to grasp the space,
and now I have the answer,
To Mars shall I go, if There I can fall again.

3/Feb/2014


Details | Free verse | |

I Wonder Why

Why does a man break his back in labor?
in exchange for a short pleasure
Or run the dough to eat?
Why does he fetch water
and waste it on barren ground?
why does he swallow loads of fat
then suffer the pain or ill?I wonder why, i wonder, why?

has his brain been plugged
by senselessness?
i wonder why.


Details | Free verse | |

Never So Gracious

A full moon night to my delight what is so wrong with doing what's right nothing is right after so long no use in complaining time to move on The Dream Water one day might take me away farther from the comfort of familiarity I float on my back then shut my eyes my body now sinking into ocean arms open wide Now swallow your son back to his nature when he is no longer needed to stay here the next generation are dooming themselves they need my experience to guide them through hell Why should I bother on my own, I strive through I turn my back on the thought of bothering to save you alone in this world my, is it spacious I'm finally smiling, never so gracious.


Details | Free verse | |

The Tragedy of Sara Merriweather

She left a bloody track 
of footprints
up and down 
the hospital hallways
the doctors 
looked the other way
as if she was 
a phantom
a character
playing a harmless role
in their drastic dreams
she screamed
pleaded
“Please
don’t you care?
can’t you see? 
blood is seeping from my feet
can’t you see? 
I’m dying
don’t you care?”
she sat
in the hall
crimson prints
sprawling
in all direction
she shrieked
at the ignorant doctors
as blood formed a lagoon 
around her broken dogs
she wept
and pled
and died
in the warmth 
of her seepage
and in the middle 
of that hallway
she laid
forever
and rotted
her bloody track
remained
faded
altered from deep crimson
to light brown-red
but remained
without any consideration
from the doctors 


Details | Free verse | |

That True Girl

 she's human,
Possessive,
Jealous,
Selfish,
Fragile,
Broken,
Insecure,
Hurt,
Afraid,
Hateful,
Not so fun to be with,
Not so pretty.

But she choose to forget that,
Walking with her head up high,
The pretty girl that is so damn fly,
Sweet you don't want to tell her bye,
The better version of independent mind,
She young wild n free,
Not to mention she living her life,
She don't need you to keep reminding her of her negative side. 
 For she don't live on that side.


Details | Free verse | |

Not Giving In

Behind truth you can decide
Where the clay is set in 
As clouds are in circles above the world
Setting eyes upon prices missing
Manipulated society onward to destruction
No one listens but the rules and programs for our minds
Since birth we are the machines
Those who dare go against the current
Extinct they become
Names with no leads
Do we know better?
Or rather know less?
Like numbers in our heads
Changing seasons to the like of the system
This is no rebellion
Is not the exact war settled against 
Is just the fact no one puts their eyes out

As we march to the chambers
Where the sky is set clear for our eyes
But fire rains outside the tower
Like an eye set on our every movement
Isn't that the number we're given from birth?
Nothing we try
Can change the fact?
Have the world tried to go against holding hands
Side by side on the march to take the power beneath our sin's?
Haven't seen war or peace
But death and clairvoyant diseases are well settled
Is there no more man to stand their own grounds?
Where have the women's with authority fallen from?
Inside vile's the idea remains
Ashes we inhale to be programmed for control
Im not planning to change anything with the words I may place upon a paper
For I am no one
But I pity the world inside my mind
As I can see through 
But cannot lead the remains to restore

Are there any more grounds to step in?
Why do we as human must be concealed from truth?
Things we shouldn't know?
Aren't they human too?
Because a profession is well made?
I don't swallow what I don't like
Man is made to lead
Women is made to lead
Or is there any difference in the ideals of one another?
Can someone speak up for anyone in this days?
Or is it made by mute emotions?
Everyone holding up to the little they can make
As those which have the world on their hands
Few wishes to know what an emotion is
While the rest manipulate us with the green on our number
Im no anarchist 
Im not godless
I just know I have rights to speak
Because there's no place where my democracy cannot hail high
For I am free and of course I accept if they want to kill me
Is not having mercy or just destroying what is already in control
But making things right
People over the whole world make revolution
But they failed for the lack of hands raising fists 
Is it fear running deeper than blood?
Or just blood cursed by the same system?
Can someone explain a bit?
No one does
They just get born, programmed and be utilized 
Then die and decompose in time
Think through
Is it worth it?


Details | Free verse | |

Laughter is Indeed the Best Medicine On Hand

A day’s of hard work,
and serious issues to handle,
though some hiccups may arise,
in order to erase these hiccups,
we need to have some fun,
and laughter is only the best medicine,
to cure on these hiccups hands on,
for this, 
we may not travel afar,
just take a look at Indian politics,
quite laughable as it is,
wherein a number of issues,
had come to the forefront,
mostly related to the cap on cylinders,
and the FDI in retail,
wherein a number of politicians,
cast a number of political ambitions,
of becoming the National leader of our Motherland,
but have no concern for the citizens,
living in here,
wherein the bridge between the poor and the rich,
gets wider and wider,
it is not the pursuit of political ambitions, 
which the citizens want in here,
it is the solutions to various problems,
which they want,
and as such there is no politician,
as fit enough for this purpose,
are they really fit enough,
is the question and as laughable as it is,
it is time for the younger generations,
to take the plunge into politics,
wherein they need to cast over their fear,
and political apprehensions, 
and save their dear Motherland India,
from all troubles,
and to make their Motherland into a Paradise!!


Details | Free verse | |

Thoughtless

Starry nights remind me of 
those time 
we stay up all night 
waiting for shooting stars 
to weave our dreams with, 
those times when your love 
is unceasingly flowing 
like the river 
and that 
holding hands seem 
the only thing that matters 
in this world, 
those were 
perfect moments I 
thought would last 
but then 
Van Gogh must be right 
to paint the stars with 
shades of blue and gray 
for you have left me 
with tears 
and broken promises 
and I will forever wonder 
if wishes 
under shooting stars 
do really come true.


Details | Free verse | |

Gratefulness

To be absolutely certain To be firmly convicted in principle and belief Is the scariest feeling of all But, like all feelings, it never lasts The conviction stays, but the mind wanders Deep into the zones of ostensible comfort Where it rests merely to frenzy Into the streets of opposition Straight into the absolute wrong But the feeling never lasts It returns to the minute certainty The mind becomes determined in the conviction it has embraced And the best feeling rises above the initial fear: Gratefulness
6-29-13


Details | Free verse | |

What Do You Do

What do you do when you don't want to give up But it feels like the world stopped trying And your happiness is somewhere else And you just can't seem to stop crying What do you do when you've lost your way And you don't know what's wrong and right And you don't want to hurt anyone But you feel it's worth the fight What do you do when your heart is breaking And you've felt no pain like this before And you know that only pain he offers Yet you come begging back for more


Details | Free verse | |

Primitive Fracture

Raw and primal 
            your hawk eyes 
sketch my soul
           Indelibly in blood 
amid a passions sky
                       painted orange
and watered in red

Your wide dark wings 
         of alluring untouchable
blank me in moments 
              of lost in the wind

I reach faltered hands 
           to caress your sheen
but come up empty handed 
            as you soar out of reach

 Your spirit is what crashes me to rocks
 and deals death like blows to my tender heart

I long to capture your silken fire
             and stamp your soul as mine
but the distance forms a chasm 
                  amid your hover

I see you brood the clouds 
                  with your power
and toss the waves
                 of my wistful sea

Tease me with the hopes 
              of loves survival
and dash off once more 
              to celestial heights

I am left to tremble
       in the absence of you
watching your wild 
    disappear in the clouds


Details | Free verse | |

Catching Fire

Catching Fire
Some of us are watching the skies for works of fire
While some of us are quietly catching it.

Which are you?


Details | Free verse | |

My Notebook

Stimulating ideas pop into your head
You need a pen…you need a piece of lined paper 
It looks like you’re outtah luck…no wonder you’re drowning in dread
You need a shoulder to lie your head down for a moment’s rest… 
You need a helper…to aid you while you struggle emotionally…
I’m not trying to irritate you purposely

Try with all your might…try your best
To stay optimistic and fervent 
I believe that you’ll pass the test
Be upbeat, kindhearted and jubilant  

I appreciate the words you wrote on my notebook…
Sometimes, I feel like leftovers left on the counter…
I’m a rotten mess – you’re leaving me as if I’m an uninteresting book 
Sometimes, I feel like a coward – I don’t mean to bother…

But, you’re like no other . . .

You’re like a mat – you’re constantly stepped on…
I’m like YOUR unwanted tool – 
I stepped on you and
Pushed your buttons
I accused you of being the fool 
When, in fact, I’m the fool by your side…
You’re drifting…pushing me aside…

I’m writing words of truth though – 
Expressing how much I’m fond of you 

I esteem your presence
Glowing with glee 
At times, you do say things without thinking 
I’m the god of distress – 
You’re leaving me breathless 
Cutting me down like I’m some decaying tree
You don’t see how much you make me…
Guilty for your crimes
Taking the blame about the hundredth time 

At times, I feel that I’m awkward when I’m around you

You’re like a backpack – you carry everyone’s weight…
You’re like a sponge – soaking in our stress
I’m a distraction to you – you’re wasting valuable time…but don’t hesitate 
I’m writing words of self-centered feelings – logic doesn’t exist…
But these feelings aren’t as bad as committing a crime
These feelings come and go – I just had to confess 
I didn’t mean to screw up your progress…

Hey, if you need a few sheets of paper to right on, 
Use me like a notebook instead…and write with all your might
It seems as if you read me…like a book that drags on and on 
Use me as your tool of relaxation… and read me all night  

When you wrote those words on my notebook…
It made my day…you’re such a delight 
Like reading a fascinating, classic book


Details | Free verse | |

Offended

Offended 
is ignorance
a lack of understanding
silence 
is not for everyone

humans speak
and do things 
different than you
or your faction
true 
or untrue
or stretch truth

what's the worry?
stressing 
over someone else's beliefs 
takes you away 
from your own routine

offended 
is a waste of energy
needed for nothing
causing dangerous sparks
within one's mind
one's heart
one's soul
becomes contaminated
with preoccupations

vengeance breeds furious
often unexpected actions
of ill-will occur 
or changes for the worse 
creep 
in the shadows of good
growing
taking over
"spiritual kudzoo"
none could tame

extinguish your dealings
with petty rage
of another imperfect being's mouth
cancer vanishes easier
with early detection
MOVE ON!
or at least learn
from your polar opposite 


Details | Free verse | |

Dark Wonderland

Falling down the rabbit hole,
tumbling, twisting, uncontrolled.
Regret filled voices fill the void,
each one calling out my name.
Caught in fractured dreams,
reflections of my true self haunt me.
Blood red shards fill the air,
no love remains here.
Bitter pieces of a broken mind,
seeking out my personal truth.
Step through the shattered mirror with me,
and see this unreality.


Details | Free verse | |

Collage

He looks
At the collage
With glassy eyes
The pieces of the puzzle of him
The memories that have been stolen
Swept away 
Vanquished

An occasional glimmer
A spark of recognition
His dear mother
She had taught him three languages
Now he barely remembers one
The contours of her face make him smile
She had formed the poet
The professor
This lover of words
Sadly only fragments of him remain

Pictures of his sons
Long absent from his life
Their happy faces
A facade of happier times that could have been
Intelligence and expectations
his curse
his gift
They felt the weight of his words placed on their hearts
They never felt good enough
smart enough
not like him the great man
The reader and translator of superior minds
Honored
Knighted by kings
Celebrated
The pictures part of his collage
Proof that he was here
That his life was real
Not imagined
Others remember
Yet mercifully he forgets
The sadder parts

The picture of the car
The brother that was killed
The blame that was heaped on him
Him the unsuspecting child
The scars he carried through his days until now
He hopes to continue to remember how to forget
Not afraid of death
No longer lost in regret
The collage of him
Pictured moments
Displayed In no particular order
Words 
Images
A chair occupied
A mind denied
Still within
The poet trapped 
Continues life's ride



I wrote this poem about the famous Poet Edwin Honig after watching a 
documentary about him filmed by his cousin. "First Cousin Once Removed."



Details | Free verse | |

Disappearing Ink

given my heart words

the brain cannot decipher
synapses fire in desperation
fingers laze, do not will a pen to write them
keys not evident to type them

morning fog, evaporated sunlight 
cling frozen to winter cold
too quick the change, notice for a moment
vanish to safekeeping, locked away

still I search for that code


Details | Free verse | |

Melancholy

-------------------------------


I stand beside these tangled roots
of this ever changing clock-wood tree. 
Where streams of ink, like dander fluff,
cling to my pen in congealed thought.
I will tread cautiously 'cross this matted sheath,
with the unsure step of weary feet.
Confusion, an utterance of un-trained words,
delivered from the beaks of travelled birds.
‘We strive to live, though live to die!’,
the loud and boisterous blue jay's cry.
Kind hearted sparrow, bright chickadee,
Their soulful song, of clemency.


Details | Free verse | |

That Dream

where we kiss is both

nightmare, surreal reality

which i exist

alcohol and fantasies

kissing in public places

drawing lines across the city
mapping out our own

crave this world 
creation of ours, the mind’s eye
but the heart knows

breaks in telling me


that it is and never can be real


Details | Free verse | |

FRAIL GIANT

A nation at war with itself
A father sucking his daughter's breasts
A child cheering at her mother's pain

My heart is heavily laden
My soul bleeds profusely
disaster comes with every meal
Tragedy is my morning shower


Irrational has attained rational
To err has become acceptable
Abnormality is now being celebrated
the corpse is rot but we still court it


My phobia for ills have been suppressed
My mates scorn my many woes
My behind is the house of humor
My back is like a senile penis


Indeed,I was made to be great
How my success got waylaid?
is a mystery beyond my big head
My name,my friend,is Nigeria

How did i go wrong?


Details | Free verse | |

Mind Games

A simple mind of complex case
Flooding the train of thought
With emotions as old as time
Wondering if they are ever going to change.

A single feather that of a dove
Symbolizes everything pure
To a simple mind a complex case
To a complex mind a simple case.

A river of passion flowing calmly
Symbolizing a greater power
To a simple mind a power untamed
To a complex mind a powerful weapon.

Understanding the simplest of things
Is all too confusing to a simple mind
All too easy to that of complex
Or is it easy to a mind of simplicity.


Details | Free verse | |

Talking Frank

she hid 
like a little mouse 
with windows barred 
to block the light 
and peering eyes 

she grew 
in that sunless 
cage 
from adolescent dreams 
to a women's longing 

fought with insecurity 
penning her 
hopes 
on humanity
that had drifted away 

she wrote 
with anticipation 
filled with yearning 
to understand 
such cruelty 

with no answers 
she searched 
why 
what had they done 
would they ever know 

in the night they came 
with weapons fixed 
swinging slurs 
to wound 
her soul 

they gave her a star 
and a ticket 
to take a train 
new adventures 
from which she'd never 
return 

the star soon replaced 
by numbers 
carved into 
tender skin 
and she cried 
for her father 

she was the child 
of her mother 
and of her mother's mother
she was the remains 
of sanity 

she stared at the camp 
not a children's thing 
with ponies and playgrounds 
but with gas chambers 
and crematoriums
and she cried 

for herself 
for her family 
and for the world 
as they led her inside 
she penned last words 

still trying 
to understand 
through her tears 
but there was to be 
no understanding

and in the end 
they laid her bones 
uncerimoniously in pits 
filled to the brim 
with lost dreams 
lost lives 
and failed hope...




Details | Free verse | |

Dream Glimpses, Daily 33

33.
Are dreams a rehearsal for death’s long sleep?
I am walking backwards into this fog--
Coolness is touched but not felt
My perception setting is muggy.

The seekers so often do not become finders,
But in the mist the hope is to connect again
To another transparent soul
In this haze of pre-curtain heaven.

But illusions are fragmented glimpses,
In my movie-making nocturne.
Floating above all the giggles in the shadows
Becomes crowded sunshine pools of pleasure.


Details | Free verse | |

Listen

The mounting manifestation of your mistrust
Has been the source of the confusion that separates us

 
The asinine allegations that you hurl at me
Are only to deflect your own dishonesty

 
Your constant unfounded and unproven accusations
Are most certainly the expression of intensifying intimidation
 
Terrified by the power that I possess
you would opt to see me overshadowed, outshined and oppressed 
 
you have continually conspired  to  weaken my pride
Would you prefer that I cower, recoil, or hide?

 
The Optical illusions of your minds trickery
Have distorted you perception of our reality

 
 I am not your property, asset or possession
Worthy to be respected, not met with aggression

 
You have annihilated my opinions, forced me into silence
Restraining my insight is the cruelest form of violence

 Asphyxiating me with you idiotic uncertainty     
Smothering my peace with your moronic misery

 
 Suppressed by your suspensions long enough.
I have shed my fears, I have discovered my worth

 
I refuse to quietly follow in your frightening footsteps
Muffling my shouts: I can no longer accept
 

 I am freeing my thoughts and releasing these words.
I have found my voice and now I demand to be heard

.


Details | Free verse | |

'Emotional Roller Coaster'


emotional big dipper
going up and then
   speeding down
my mind is in a spin
   how did I get here?

I don’t like the face staring back at me
   so cheerless
hazel eyes without their shine

a broken mirror
  dissimilar views
in between the heartache
  and expectant dreams

©311020112005 


Details | Free verse | |

WAILING OF AN IMPAIRED BEING

I despair from the invisible thorns,
Inflicted on me by the forces of hurt
I desire to flee beyond,
from within the ****** of crossroads

Sweet pain!
I've come to see.

I’m trapped in a fortress as thick as steel
The puzzle called earth plays me, like poker
I flaunt my guts in a minute entity
I flex my panache to few and sundry

The gods have smiled,
But I’ve laughed yet not
I’m prepared, I know
But they think otherwise.

The saints have sang
But the rhythm still plays.
I’m sensitive, so I feel everything
In the sense of it, and beyond of it

My time is served
But the shackles stay clasped
My wings and cape were made to soar
Un-glue me from my cubicle in hell’s pit

Whose tears do I shed?
Who is the snail in front of me?
On the one-track path to light
Yearn has become my alias

I know, I know
Patience is the watchword 
But even her, lacks perfection
My case just might be an exception

Oh King of us
What are your thoughts?


Details | Free verse | |

Through the veil

I see you as if reflected
in your dressing table mirrors
or the waters of the old garden pond

You hear me through the echos
or whistling little answers 
things you've not quite placed 
from through the veil
That separates the times of life and death

You see me through the window
In the nature of the robin
Know when I'm around 
through scents you breathe

I leave you little signs
like a solitary pure white feather
Place where you can find it
So you know my love I'm with you
Just a simple little pleasure shows I live

But my dear I wait here for you
As I bless you with my presence
I walk through troubled times right by your side
And I fight the good fight with you in my stride

I see those tears of sadness
When your head is on your pillow
Now that you know I am still with you
Perhaps now you can smile and shine with pride
For you know within your conscience I'm your guide


Details | Free verse | |

'The Joker's paint brush'




The lines of the once perfect dream now faded
In its place distorted and crooked images
Now play mind games with their hearts
Drifting away from everything that is real
Their once tranquil lives now in turmoil
 
Do they just paint over the distorted lines?
Rein in the emotions that make them blind
Try and go back to the simple life
Forget the adrenalin
The pulsating need
To delve into things
Most likely not to succeed
 
The dice has been rolled
The cards are on the table
The joker’s the one
With the paint brush in hand


©180320121045


Details | Free verse | |

Human Nature

When chaos brings civilization to its knees 
From world wide pandemic critical disease
Or when a tsunami consumes everything beyond the shores
Swallowing the landscape and changing life as we know
Earthquakes shake the very foundation of this world
Or an astroid penetrates the cradle of birth
Bring us back to the primitive unleashing the truth
From the umbilical chord we are more ferocious than rabid wolves
And we will kill fellow man just to survive
Or just for the desire of taking ones life
What is compassion but a dead corpse on the road
Adrenalized by fear no time for sorrows
No need to worry about a world war zombie apocalypse 
We're already flesh eating monsters wearing dead skin
Most people panic when they lose internet or their lights
Autonomy is just a word most people can no longer define
And your money isnt worth *****so forget trying to buy
Your way out of cleansing while you run out of time
So learn to die well and hold your loved ones real tight
As you pray that your death will let you ascend to new heights
Beans, bullets, and bandaids are all that I'll need 
To keep population zero from taking over me
**** being hopeful could we really be so naive
To think that in these days we could some how find peace
When our mother earth gets restless and releases all of her worst
The only thing more destructive is our human nature


Details | Free verse | |

Glimmers of hope

The candles we light in honor of your name
Reflect the brightness you gave to our lives
Burn away at the darker side surrounding
Giving way to freedom's path for your spirit
Helping bring healing to the hearts that miss you
Binding you in mind, faith and prayer
So your memory can live on and bring comfort
To those that walk in hope, with you beside them


Details | Free verse | |

Cellophane Soul

She seemed somewhat sad So she slid Semi-comatose... ...Cellophane Soul screams Saran-wrapped Such subtle sorrow Semi-transparent Sweet, still sleep She succumbs slowly Sad Cellophane Soul Silent screams Suddenly strangled Suicide succeeds Suffering Cellophane Soul soars © 2011 Kevin Stock


Details | Free verse | |

THE ECHO OF A NIGHT

Nights of envy or lust
Lay upon my moon.
Is there a star hiding impressions
With a light doom?
Shadows are trembling like candles
Warm and pure
Yet so fragile, I can not touch.
In words I find cure
In darkness I rest
As my soul balances between reflections.
Bridges I can not pass,
A past of a lost consience
And I am afraid that if I sleep
You will hunt my dreams
My only way, the deadend you built.
So nights are passing through broken windows
Arresting promises I need to keep
As treasure.
My ships are hanging by the ocean's cliff
Rounding skies of freedom.
Expectations by emotions false,
As rain withdraws from this silence,
Like the dance we never shared
Beneath the starry sky.


Details | Free verse | |

Wild Bees

I resign myself to a half sleep, to the evening news, and a tepid cup of tea
to old habits, engrained, and familiar old routine

As the news soon unfolds, there again, calmly told
Once again,  it will turn the blood cold

How does one close an eye, turn away,....... compromise?
Here I am once again, in the house that I've known, half my life

How insane the world seems,.......Oh, the theme is the same
Renewed scene,... same old scheme,... brand new grief

I catch just a scent of the sweet jasmine breeze,  
  and of summers, once spent under trees

I lean back in my chair, and the air keeps me warm
I'm hearing swarms hum, a drum in my head, not far is a wild nest of bees

Surrounded by seas, of the green grassy waves, and I smell sweet alfalfa again

Now my arms and my legs are rolling down hills, that tickle my skin, 
....but taking the spin out of me

All the bees scatter 'round...., of a world going wild, 
and have stained red, my shins and my knees
Where is the green? The clean of the things, and springtime of days dead and gone?

I pluck a long stem, it tastes semisweet, yet, the bitterness will still linger on
From my head to my feet, I can't rest in defeat, 
as sound from the sprinklers, lull me to sleep Ts......Ts......Ts......Ts......Ts

I'll recline under trees while the wild nest of bees, 
fly in circles and swarm near my head Bz......Bz.......Bz......Bz.......Bz......Bz

I could die, wide awake, as the dusk softly breaks, 
Where the lightning bugs shine in the trees

Small stars in the night, lightening bugs show the way, 
taking me home through the tunnel of day

Drinking sweet jasmine tea,
.... I'm drunk on my dreams,
      but  I think I've been stung
         where my evening begun
              back on the street where I live





    _________________________________________



2/12/14   For Craig Cornish's Contest:  "Angel Of The Odd"


Details | Free verse | |

Obama

I'm not sure how youre going to lead your people to salvation
gang bangers holding the bag, perpetrating violence
i can't help what i think about that predicament
blackmailed, or all rap artists truly do like being the figure heads 
of community terrorism
fighting for their rights throughout history
just to throw it all away
raised to believe they were the only ones whose legacy is a nightmare
but they make money rubbing their guns and drugs in our face
selling other people to blackmarkets for slavery
to make more chemicals

I truly hope you take this opportunity to lead your people in the right direction
to truly be able to find themselves
i'm only one person on the outside looking in
i just truly dont believe all those money making rap artists
truly desire to continue the cycle of violence
i myself believe some sick racist paid them to throw themselves away

Drugs and guns
\kids killing kids
something has to be done
and why your people are the ones representing this
I truly believe another black man can encourage his fellows of skin
to see the bright side, work on solving the problem from now on instead of making it worse

I can't handle much more of this
seeing people fight for their rights
and lose to themselves again
being part of the solution of the problems they are soo upset about
is more understandable than being paid to be the front lines of genocide
and continue the never ending cycle of hate and confusion
I'm not fooled by what has happened to them, and what is
but change is inevitable, solving their own problems they probably were entrapped with

War crimes on both sides
the black and white
minds cornered by previous experiences just want to end this nightmare
or maybe i'm wrong
maybe the racists over there are right
maybe they didnt see how someone made them think one thing
and used violence to enforce actions cornering the hate again
in the end war crimes on both sides
i just urge you to find a solution to this
i myself am tired of the psychological fight of a futile civil war 
engulfing both sides of the unfortunate paradox
its harder than you realise to see through it
its harder not to get wrapped up in my own emotions of the past that was and the present 
that is

Manipulative people brainwashed the innocent
and then used violence against your people to prove that they are justified
its a sick game obama
its disgusting and the streets of your own society need a solution to a dirty trick


Details | Free verse | |

Unspoken Love

She saved herself from pick up lines though she looked vulnerable
She's sooo lovable her heart definition could ruin my poetic abilities 
You cannot put a price on her she's not billable
If only her lips where adjustable my soft poetry would define her inabilities and weaknesses for the mute to scream happily ever after  
She's untouchable i O you an explanation
Her tears tattoo broken spirits uploaded on instagram
She's no twitter baby though followers invite themselves its unbelievable
I could throw nice verses in our conversation but i'm afraid i'm love blind 

I'll tell you more about her if you ask me....ask me nice


Details | Free verse | |

Eyes of Desire in a Rainbow

Fearful fluttering, like butterfly wings,
Guilty conscience screaming out warnings,
Quietly trembling, feelings of breathlessness,
Yearning to understand what I cannot prevent.
I gaze upon him, and the trickling fire
Runs through my veins with burning desire,
Keep a tight rein, don't let it be known
That you're burning inside, it shouldn't be shown,
Yet daring to think I could beg to be touched,
Knowing full certain it would not be enough
To subdue the craving, hidden within,
Of a nightmare of need that seems almost a sin,
So powerful, so deep I can only weep.
Love is wasted, trust betrayed,
Like the promise at the end of a rainbow - 
And then - the knock at the door - of hope.


Details | Free verse | |

Scattered Thought

~~~
Do you follow me...

I've scattered thought
across countless stages of unveiled catwalk
Graced anthologies of rhyme
Watched you
watch me
indulge in second guess
Still ...
reflection
seldom circulates
obscured from Elementary 

Fact is... words refrain
as thoughts pile higher
Each ode grows more incent 
from straining to dip the quill
Leaning
way beyond comfort
to soak in
crisper thought

My only regret ...
a shortage of counterintelligence
~~~


Details | Free verse | |

Fish

New Orleans

Is it a fish-tank of disgust?
better left to hold water 
than you and us
Should the walls stay down below the line
let bodies fester 
rampant crime?
Cross on corral houses those who remain
trapped in their own shelter
left to die in vain?
Or will the walls be squeegeed clean
for all the world to love
obscene 
trouble is rising from the ashes aint easy
especially for the big eazzyy
he who is helped
must plaster on a greazzzy 
clown mask


Details | Free verse | |

The Grateful Guilt of Greatness

I'm just barely trying not really fitting in Age wiser the miser who keeps transcending lessons and blessings keep him grounded in hell this wild child lives not in fear but much with it, far and near Sustaining any bit of stress nothing's important when driven into madness then you've lost, beyond the control that brought you close to greatness exiting down inside the hole of emptiness on which my house was built it landed it on the wicked witch killed her in a grateful guilt The worst think they're better the rest think they're dead the little you know should be invested into knowing a little more to use on the road when all luck is licked I take my luck in the cold world for it's no existence of diamonds and pearls spoiled souls are ugly and twisted while lesser men shine bright for they got used to the void of nothing while the greedy wish to get higher to steal the heaven light Now everything is wrong they bottle their pain exploding, as they fall victim and pass on the blame never at fault stone solid in guilt a champion devours until their dreams are fulfilled nothing can stop them moving like a train up a hill giving up not an option I don't need no one that's my favorite lie I wish it were truer than the darkness of night for I once knew her she kissed me just twice then walked away from my sadness and on with her life I carry that with me as a mistake of my former less informed harmless soul It took all the alone time for my conscious to grow and repair all the damage I gained in defeat defeat now her destruction is nothing but another demon I beat Don't blame me for your limitations they were probably placed there not by mistaken so the potential for evil can never take root and your seed never spreads into a new movement of youth that wears your menacing glance I shake your shaky hand I see the way of the culprit in your uneasy glance and the way you carry yourself high above all the rest I'll give you that feeling that to me is the nothingness Much like the nothing you come to realize your doing for the better spreading your lies as if you believed them like the false belief in yourself happiness is that door that you haven't opened yet or you wouldn't so freely steal it from those who have always so jealous you don't know what its like living without it As I say in final thought I put in the work now so later I'll not and when I reach greatness I'll remember the way with your own shovel you dug such a deep grave.


Details | Free verse | |

Escape

He stares at the wall for hours gone by,
 shoulders stooped, 
 drawn inward ever so slightly, indicate his level of relaxation.
Eyes dimmed by years of constant strain, 
try to focus on a small crack in plaster troweled in his youth.

His right hand scratches senselessly the stubble of some days growth;
while his left hand thumps a silent rhythm upon his arthritic knee.
 His smile
 fixed, drawn up, distorted, 
a permanent reminder of last summers stroke.

His ears, 
 hear not activity surrounding him, 
 too proud to admit further disability, 
prefers the silence that further isolates him from undesired memory. 

He has no reason to speak, 
 no one would hear, 
his beautiful Marie died last year.

Alone,
 he suffers all of life's pain, his only escape, 
a small crack in plaster, troweled in his youth.


Details | Free verse | |

Excuse Me

Hello Again your in my face
Pardon me
Get out of my face

Excuse me for not caring
In the past I followed my passion
You do not understand

I'm done looking at you
Excuse Me
For letting go

I got tired.


12-24-12


Details | Free verse | |

The Mixup

Here's a poem of mirth, a very real incident that
happened on Facebook not so long ago. 
There I have some pictures posted of horses from my past,
and one was a picture of a stallion I once owned.
He was in the middle of the breeding of a mare, and so he was
showing his prowess to everyone that was there.

A comment it emitted, from a relative of mine, 
"He's showing off his manhood," she exclaimed, as if it was a crime.
"If I would have posted the picture taken right after this one here, you
would have seen him breeding, that is the truth my dear!" was my reply.
"Look at her," she said, "she's ready and she's waiting!"
"Yes I replied back again, "It was almost time for mating!"

Meanwhile on another picture, unknown to me and she; a picture of my husband hugging 
his eighteen year old daughter; our conversation was being posted below that picture
too, and so you can imagine what images it conjured up! As people read the comments,
and drew their own conclusions, I thought it rude and crude, they were suffering from 
delusions!

Once I saw the posts there, I quickly remedied all thoughts that were in the gutter,
I posted one last post, clearing up the matter!


Details | Free verse | |

Macabre Gaiety

Take my senses away
Make me crazy,
Stir some memories
Make a story;

Oh, Love me to death,
Give me a life then kill me.

Show me the way
Then lead me astray,
Enrich me with love
Then waylay me;

Be my friend, betray me,
Be my God, bedevil me.

Let's congregate in a tavern
Worship in this safe haven,
Follow no faith
Pander to no priest;

Let's hobnob with the angels,
Befriend the demons on the sly.

Drag my soul through the desert
Then carouse there in an oasis,
Set me ablaze with your passion
Then douse it with your sweat;

Let's sleep on a bed of cactuses
And thumb our noses at the heavens.

Ha, let's grow up
And just kid around,
Lie down in a grave
And wake up in a cradle;

Let's usurp the world from Atlas
And rattle the hell out of its core!


Details | Free verse | |

St. Vitus Dance

The staccato stammering of bass guitars
punctuated the flash of strobe lights.
Limitless vistas of black and gray;
smothering the crowd in ghoulish poses.
Framed, as if frozen, in a glow of acid white.
Some stagger, their movements mimicking,
the rigors of death or birth?
Others jerk puppet like
upon invisible, randomly clipped, strings.
And, as the music grinds to a halt,
driven by the apocalyptic pace of the Disc Jockey,
and the hard scratching sound of synthesizers;
the charmed, trance dancers disperse;
swallowed whole by the shadows.

*St. Vitus's dance was a social phenomenon
that occurred primarily in mainland Europe 
between the 14th and 18th centuries; 
it involved groups of people, sometimes thousands at a time,
who danced uncontrollably and bizarrely. 
Men, women, and children would dance 
through the streets of towns or cities, 
sometimes foaming at the mouth 
until they collapsed from fatigue....and the beat goes on....


Details | Free verse | |

Have You Ever Read

Dedicated to an author by the name of William Golding... Enjoy!!!


~Two boys meet on an island
~~One is skin 'n bones
~~~The other one is chubby

They discover a lagoon~
Ralph teases him by calling~~
him "Piggy" -  how mean!!~~~

Piggy asks him if
There are other people on 
The island with 'em

He has no clue
But this'll answer Piggy's question --
Other boys appear - 
All diverse shapes and sizes
What'll happen next??

You'll see...

Have you ever read The Lord of the Flies?
I recommend it if yah haven't read it yet - I must admit
It's a book full of adult words and it's simply...FASCINATING! - no lies
You should read it - or you'll regret it!



Details | Free verse | |

Sometimes I wish I was

I see you,
I feel you, 
I know you want me,
but I also know that you want me to be her,
and I'm not, 
but sometimes I wish I was.

I wish you saw me, as you see her,
even though You don't want to be with her any more.

I wish that you wouldn't pretend not to know me,
when the very last night,
laying on bed,
I love you,
slipped through your lips,
which was followed by a huge apology,
and you don't realize I didn't even flinch when you said it,
because i had been imagining it all along, 
ever since we made love for the first time,
I didn't want your apology,
even if I know you said it not because you loved me,
but because you wanted me to be her,
so you could love me,
and I'm content with me being in your bed while you imagine I'm someone else,
just that more beautiful, and with no intention of harming you.
And I don't understand, how you cannot see me a as you see her,
I know I'm not her;
but sometimes,
I wish I was.

I'm better,
I would never leave you there to cry your self to sleep,
I wouldn't grab you so hard that I would leave a mark on your beautiful skin,
I didn't want your apology,
But I do apologize to you.
'cause I'm not her, 
and because sometimes,
I wish I was.

I apologize,
because I'm leaving,
I'm going far away,
And I know You'll miss me.

I know you'll find someone else,
as I also know I'm not your only one,
but I do know,
I'm your best one.

I leave my life here,
and hope that when I come back,
if I ever do,
I will no longer want to be her,
but me,
cause maybe,
just maybe,
when I get back,
You'll love no one,
but me.


Details | Free verse | |

Breaking down my walls

You have broken down the wall, 
That I put up in my heart...
Apparently I didn't make it strong,
Strong enough to keep you out...
Cuz you got right through it,
Even without trying...no effort...
I guess I am so numb that I don't care...
Just please...I beg of you....don't hurt me...
I don't know if I can take it...
The next time I put the wall up, 
It might never come down...


Details | Free verse | |

A Lighter Shade of Gray

In diminishing degrees of denial and doubt,
I find myself taking inventory of emotional stock
to scan it for inconsistencies:

Let's see...
Right now I feel…
Confused, scared, angry, vengeful, murderous, and demonic.

Yet also…
Calm, peaceful, nurturing,  merciful, caring, reassuring, and reassured.

Who am I to follow the yellow brick road
that lights the way out of Oz?                                        (my Wizard seems so far away…)

Who am I to question the path it leads me on?
These strange and unpredictable twists and turns,
tramples and tumbles,
ups and downs,
highs and lows…

I’m just a lost and lonely soul hoping to reconcile
the light and dark,
the white and black.
the generosity and greed
the spirit and flesh.

Yet I only end up compromising my deepest held beliefs
in the hopes that I may live a normal life
and carry on normal conversations
in a world that is everything 
but normal.

Full of lost and lonely souls, who like me,
only seek an understanding shoulder to cry on,
that could lessen this tremendous burden,
lighten this harrowing load,
and offer true direction
towards a lighter shade of gray.


Details | Free verse | |

self torture

My mind is a whirling vortex.
Over whelmed with never ending thoughts.
An endless tunnel of torture.
Oh how cruel life can be!
Or is it that we just can't let go of the past?.
To day is a new day, Yet I dwell on yesterday.
The pain I place upon myself.
Don't we all!?..


Details | Free verse | |

LOST

You've been gone for a while, I needed you with me. Where have u been? Was I too much??? Have I lost u for good? I've found myself up through the night, Unable to find that piece of u that calms! So I wander, To no where!!! Stuck in between subliminal lines.... Was I too much??? Have I lost u for good? Seeing only in shades of life, And none of it is quite what it seems Everything confuses me, Only with you, Is it clarity. WAS I TOO MUCH??? HAVE I LOST U FOR GOOD? In a world of insanity,phasing in and out of reality... Every morning my pores start to tear, Nervously awaiting and hoping you would come back to me... At the break of sanity I no longer ask? Was I too much. Excepting that my pressures are yours .... When the weight becomes too heavy Poof your GONE!!! Dreadfully realizing that without YOU, I am nothing...... The one thing I can't bear to lose!!!! MY MIND!!!


Details | Free verse | |

We Were Drunk Once

Movies played but seldom watched
As we entangled on the couch
Intoxicated by each other, we drank wine to clear our heads
Things were simple in those times

You were red-eyed and freshly mangled
I wanted so badly to make you smile and forget her
For a time I think I succeeded 
We were blissful in our distraction
Playing grown up as we discovered each other

Long nights where sleeping was forsaken
We preferred to lie intertwined 
Talking 
Smiling
Laughing
The sun would rise and you would leave, reveling in how the hours had escaped us
Smiling at the pink tinged sky
Only to repeat the process nightly

Then we traded places
I am the red-eyed one, and another tries to help me forget you
Sometimes he succeeds
Perspective feels like a cruel joke
Could have
Would have
Should have

Someday he will have red eyes too
A cycle perpetuated


Details | Free verse | |

Color of a Man's Character

The Color of a Man’s Character
We all bleed
And cleave to 
Those we leave

We all smile when we are greeted
And cry when we are mistreated

Why do we choose to abuse others 
For the color of their skin?

Why do we think that only 
Our own color should win?

We’re all the same underneath 
We all deserve peace 
When we lay down to sleep

Love one another while you can
Show your son how to be gracious
The color of a man’s character 
Is how he treats his fellow Man.


Details | Free verse | |

The Newest Old Movement

We watched Frida Kahlo 
with our backs toward the rice fields
The monkey fits tightly to her breast, 
her right breast. A parrot 
on her left shoulder; two chatter-boxes that mimic
What if the wolves pull our wool over our eyes?

In lands where barbarians sacrifice youths for takings, the woman 
that speaks like a man wears the trousers in our houses
She muddled up many sharp wits, but not mine; 
I’ve seen the Adam’s apple
Why are we standing taller than our heroes, 
and what honor is a wheel-chair to a builder?

We‘ve seen Miss Kahlo these days, she believes she can 
paint a brighter picture. Her children are media fed, 
and far from initiative; they hunger to prove Marx’s theory, 
but are scared of the manifesto and the horror 
mushroomed by the monkey and the parrot on News at Ten
In George’s house, where some acquire the taste for caviar, 
a man is understood like Fidel if he argues for an amendment

When Frida went out for tea, and Donald considered running
From behind the white wall came the joke, and the four winds
were primed to laugh.  The monkey whispers lies to Sarah, 
and the parrot is frequent on the Oprah Show, 
Oprah, like Frida Kahlo, wears testes, 
not under corset but beneath Victoria Beckham


Details | Free verse | |

Agoraphobia

Born into the frustration of this life
A fire fueled by abuse and negativity
Feelings of anger flood over me 
I can’t breathe 
Panting and gasping because this fear consumes me
All that remains within me is dark
I am lost and afraid
There is no light to lead me to safety
This darkness is constantly with me
Chains of depression bind me
I am in need yet I do not ask
Life evolves around me and I remain the same
Crying from within the hole that once was my soul 
Though many surround me, I remain alone
I see the world outside and long to fit in; to participate
I reach for the door but it grows farther away
I search and yet somehow there is no other opening
Opportunities pass by like rivers
I suffer in constant sorrow
My heart beats rapidly out of control
My breath is jagged 
My muscles ache and spasm
My chest is constricted 
Darkness overcomes me and the world is silent
I faint to the floor
Another day gone 
Locked inside the walls of captivity I remain
People pass, birds fly free, children laugh and play
Winter, spring, summer, and fall
Every second of every minute
Every minute of every hour
Every hour of every day
Every week of every month
Every month of every year
Every year for all of my life
I exist but do not live
I am a prisoner and a slave to fear



*For Sami's Small Cage, Big Bird contest


Details | Free verse | |

SCATTERED


EMOTIONS BOUNCE IN THE OCEAN
FEELINGS ENCOMPASS THE CRAVE
CREATING WAVES
A SCATTERED MESS
RIPPLES OF DETEST
SCATTERED FEELINGS EVERYWHERE
TEARS FLOW INTO THE SEA REMEMBER ME
SCREAMING WITH TRANSPARENT SMILES ALL THE WHILE 
PLEADING WITH MIXED UP ENERGY MINGLED WITH MISERY
FOR A RIGHT NOW RESCUE
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY OF DEMAGED EMOTIONS
WITH THE NOTION THAT SOMEONE WOULD HAVE THE COGNITIVE TO SEE
THE PAIN THAT CAUSES THIS DISEASE
W3HILE YOUR ANALYZING MY SOUL IS DROWNING
HEAR THE SLIENT COUGHING....
I PLEAD FOR SOMEONE WITH CAPABILITIES
TO HEAL MY ACHING SOUL WITH THE ENORMOUS HOLE
A SCATTERED MESS.....................................


Details | Free verse | |

Cellar Door

The cellar door you left open,
Held the lock you had broken
The Pain you had hidden 
Was down the unlit stairs

Step by step I had fallen
My footsteps where like crawling
Time went by so slow
I couldnt seem to bear

As I went to step again,
I realized it was the end
I waited for my eyes to adjust
But only darkness sunk in.

I called your name
It broke through the still air
I heard a response
No, just my echo

I walked blindly through the cold
I was searching for your soul
Because it held mine
Because you are mine.

I reached out to feel a touch
But only air was in reach of such
My worry grew more
My footsteps grew louder

I called your name
It broke through still air
I heard a response
No, just my echo

I heard a loud crash
Somewhere from the back
I abruptly turned around
As I headed for the stairs

I crawled up the steps
Each one caught my breath
I looked toward the light
So dim, yet so bright

I screamed your name
It broke through still air
I heard a response
No, just a my echo

As I finally reached the top
The cellar door was locked
I pushed with all my might
My pushing grew to fight

I cried your name
It broke through the still air
I heard a response
No, just my echo

I couldnt breath
Where could you be?
Where am I
What am I?

I felt a gentle tap
Chills ran up my back
I turned around and saw you
As i saw me.

I reached out to touch your face
But I just hit glass
You turned silver,
Spread unto a wall.

I blinked and you were gone
I was gone
I stared into a mirror
And glared at the familiar stranger

The celler door was closed and locked

Was I ever inside? 

And if you were never here,

                                                               Then who and what was I?

I cried your name
It broke through the still glass
I saw a response
No, just a reflection.


Details | Free verse | |

Bright light

Bright light. Warm light. Though I know my sins can scorch and burn.
Please dear Son… Keep me in your light during my darkest turns.
Help me have the courage, to leave my hiding place behind.
Take my hand and lead me out, again into the sunshine.

Warm my soul and warm my face… and give me the courage to hang on.
Bequeath to me a portion… of your light… enough to lead me on.
Do not let me fall and falter further into the darkening night.
For I have seen the sadness there… as it wraps around my heart.

The Dark behind awaits me… The Son can lead me forth.
All around are currents that batter me, and send me back and forth.
Relentless is this life and all the pain it gives… Don’t forget to find me…
Please save me once again...


Details | Free verse | |

All Consuming Questions

Questions
Like poison injected, coursing through my veins
Like soot inhaled, choking the air I breathe

Questions 
Like screaming, deafening in my ears
Like oiled cogs and gears, cranking in my head

Questions 
Like thick, enveloping fog, blurring my vision
Like a ravenous cancer, eating and spreading 

Questions
Like a metallic taste, needing to be spit out
Like flooding my dreams, stealing my sleep

Questions
All consuming power, sealed behind ruby lips
Sown tightly shut, with needle and thread



Shauna Riley 1-21-11


Details | Free verse | |

'Undefined'




they started things out
thinking they had it all under control
little did they know that
emotions change
into different shapes and forms

the control slipped through their fingers
disappeared just like that
all they were left with
 was a yearning
for more of something 
they couldn’t even define…

©130520121710


Details | Free verse | |

It Isn't Arcadia but It's Darker Than Hell

This is where death is the child and I it's Laborious hand holder

Jagged night, lean souls
blackened sight in the martyr moon
crooning crows and brazen ravens tear the skies through

Crooked grins and demon walkers make the evil hallow
and the meek surrender

Beads of fear saunter a stream's pace down my tired countenance
The weary die. Her voice bleeds a susurrus...
"Doth thou arrest my poison...my heart...my love"
I only reply true "May I arrest the blade of my weary foe before I arrest thy poison kiss"

There is a place where the mad prophets speak
Where god speaks confused tongue
Where Babylon is anew

This is where death is the child and I it's laborious Hand-Holder


-Kalonji A. Davis
2/18/2010


Details | Free verse | |

Lost poem

To who do I write this? 
To what god's feet do I carry my load
and demand a refund?
Is my poetry just cries of lonely entity
and just like me
it's swiped off from the canvas?
To who do I do this
in this mortal fury of mine,
in hope a stain that I leave behind?
Perhaps one lost poem with faded words,
and the beginning of my name
something
in this cruel morning of nothing.


Details | Free verse | |

Hollow Pasts

Many times I pass my old
home remembering the
many past times that were
birthed there, like a new-born
child coming into the world;
purity is untarnished and whole.
Memories encrusted in its walls,
slowly being covered with cobwebs 
and dust created by unknown spirits.
Many pasts become tainted with
unwanted and unwelcome entities that
many become false and are then forgotten,
like a sudden wave of resistance.
As hollow as it may seem life itself
creates voids that may never be filled,
like a newly created crater; a dent in 
one’s life.
Regardless of what path I follow 
it is surely going to fork; 
confusion thrives in these unknown 
areas of one’s life.
My past becomes hollow causing endless
memories to leak out; forgetfulness is
not known in my own little world for
my inner being seeps out of my very own
skin, like moisture owned by the earth
we walk on.
Hollow pasts are becoming one
with nature for each of us 
are created by this misunderstood 
entity for many underestimate 
its strength and destructive essence.
Memories become something of the past,
regardless of how often they are created;
each one becomes text in one’s unwritten
autobiography.
Hollow pasts?
They are something of the unseen future,
alone and endured by many.







Details | Free verse | |

How He Speaks His Mind

What sibilant consonants
conjure his image: angular, Germanic,
uttering phrases and grunts, monosyllables
forcefully spat into air alive,
filled with his vivid verbal assaults!
No saccharine sentiment for him.
He lets fly with steamy staccato
streams of purposely purple prose,
unblemished by boorishly banal
concern for social civilities.
Squeamishness never slept next to him!
But notice (not noticeably, please)
how his eyes seem furtively to flit
from yours, to gaze down at his hands,
pale and strangely delicate -- graceful!
And his cheeks are dusted with a blush,
under eyes not steely blue but liquid brown.


Details | Free verse | |

These clouds, surrounding my space

As these clouds keep surrounding, my space
I keep walking
Until, I've fallen to deep
Hoping and praying
I have a reachable hand
A ladder, some way up

I wish drum-fires, thunder-cracks and twisters
Would leave me alone
I wish my roses
Had no thorns, as they leave me bleeding
In so many places

I try to rinse off
Deep, deep in the ocean
Rinsing all these scars
I keep collecting, day by day

As, I lift up a voice and caterwaul
Take away my fever
Stop letting me, tumble
Stop receiving my blood
Each and every way I fight
Causing me to lose, my field of vision

Deep in these clouds
These clouds, surrounding my space
My only space


Details | Free verse | |

Life Can Be Cruel

I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
Wondering...
When is Mum, coming for me?

"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"

I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now

I wish God 
Could make my Mum
Magically appear
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
Disappear!

“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!

I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if 
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own

A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!

Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Dirty tears
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm

“What am I going to do?”

“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?

“Is my life worth living?”

Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!


Details | Free verse | |

Peace

How queer the color of viscera
squarely foreign in my breast
To be the butcher and grim and goddess
All in one
Leaves identity succinct
Or identifies succinctness
If it has been
Then so it was always before

Therein is 'Peace'
Reposed and eyes rolling
Great, vacant saucers on vertiginous axis
She is quite the swollen beast
And on all fronts, she is terrible
If only you'll watch you may notice her growth
A malignant sort
An unwelcome appendage
I'd dash it out but I've already gone
Too pale and dogged in life to succumb
I curse her tenacity

She has a sister, I think
Or maybe a child
A child who lives down deep in my chest
A child who shrieks and tears down the walls
Perhaps she dislikes their pattern


Details | Free verse | |

A Woman Created By Law and Men

The twelve were coming in …, 
twelve like gods, with sealed fates.
Mortals with keys to death and dungeons of hell, 
where devils walked in numbers, and are owned; 
they are someone’s belongings. I could not see me.
That place is it where there is blood without formed elements … 
or nutrients. Colors became significant (blue and red).
We know of the black and white barriers; 
the ones we pretend do not breathe in Washington. 
Brothers and a nation are built behind steel bars.

The thought of that woman, 
the woman that stands bold 
with torch beckoning to come and taste the dream, 
is like a haunted house, and I, a little child of three.
How she defends self-government 
while she’s trapped at sea. Freedom is a long way …
Liberty is far-flung, 
but I must not lose what is left of free will.
When the verdicts are festooned, 
they ought to downgrade the others;
there should be no rivalry. 
Without such it is simple to mislead the bulk.


I am my better half; 
I come clean without boasting on my tongue.
I often wondered if Hilary plagues … 
because she believes she has a better hand, 
or is there absolute amnesty. 
This thought I contemplate to summon sleep
 instead of counting sheep. 
The guy who swings the three iron, I often think of his wife; 
how her shoes were on to run. Was it hurt are shame?
Love is far too shallow to be called love.


I shall kill her, 
and set her in the depth, 
where she will be eaten by her conscience; 
sometimes I questioned if there’s one. 
Maybe one is near, but suppressed.
I must kill her 
with this ball-point that poured out the contents
of a lamenting soul; she must go before she is far gone. 
Is the law a crooked device,
 a mean provided for some to get even?
Who suffers when she cried wolf?
Hell is the amount of her condescension.
She has to die, to live anew, 
and to allow the halves to live.


Details | Free verse | |

Calming The Storm

A deadly debate that could have just been a simple conversation.
One point and its the same point argued between two men at a bar.
One of the men is loud and angry.
The other man, he seems to be quiet and calm.
One point and its the same point argued between two men at a bar.
A simple debate that ended in a deadly situation.


Details | Free verse | |

The Terror Of 16th N' Arrowhead

On this night....

Screaming and yelling is all I can hear
I want to get up, But fear reappears
I swiftly close my eyes But can't fall asleep
I hear a series of shots, From across the street
Once again, It's just like before
I rise to my feet , Then drop to the floor
Shaky legs,  And Watery eyes
Praying prayers,  I just want to survive
Bloodstained spots,Yellow tape surrounding
Broken fragments of glass,Who's underneath
The blanket of death
One cough, One whisper,One last little breath
Family and friends so violently wept
Rants of revenge, Are bellowing near
Frightened eyes, shed clouds of tears

Into the night I slip away
But not so quiet return at day
I blankly stare upon the walls
My breath escapes into a fog
A not so quiet day like this
I feel as if I don't exist
It's kind of late into the game, 
But life goes on, Its all the same
A drink or drug could never heal, 
What's happening is still so real, 
You can't imagine how this feels
A broken heart, A wounded soul
Swollen lips, Dead body cold
A second, A day , A breaths taken away
A minute, An hour, A loss of human power
Every month and every week
So many more lives are taken quickly

Is time running out, Are eyes going blind?
Are ears going deaf? Will there be anything left?
My heart's in remission to end it right here
My body's positioned to stand up to fear
Existence is determined, The struggle against defeat
The time is coming up so fast, Into the night I weep
From the moment we arrived,Terror increased
Now is the time for us to pack up and leave
A hard look at our life, Has made us sober
We have no choice but to start over






My family and I lived through nightmare after
nightmare in our old apartments for 3 years
and just 2 years ago, we moved. Thank God 
he made a way out for us to escape safely.


Details | Free verse | |

Lip Service

A field of angry faces fume
with mouths agape as spittle flies
from lips best used for other tasks.

Upon the green , the rolling lawn of angst,
demonstrators wave paper placards. 
Group A never nearing Group B.
Flags drape the bandstand packed
with pomp and politicians give lip-service
to the trodden rights of man.

Unequal, but present, women, fe-males
present themselves in all manner of vehicles
from stroller to walker to wheel chair, we are here.
For one hundred years, we have been ‘given’
the ‘right’ to own property, 
but still
our labor is worth less.
Un-joined, un-backed,
if alone, many are left
in the ranks of the poor.

A field of angry faces fume
no child care, no child left behind,
inadequate health care, still we struggle on
in the twenty-first century,
where politicians preen and prance
and misuse our votes.

The divide ever present,
our ranks rife with unrest,
our creative powers used to shackle us
given only lip-service.

Still, we will prevail.



Details | Free verse | |

NEW YORKERS GET OUT

New Yorkers, Get a Permanent Marker and write your Social Security number on your Limbs so that we will know who you are, when we find you.   This message brought to you by a Katrina Survivor.. 

Soupers encourage all your friends in the path of Hurricane Irene to get out. The subways will be flooded, the airport will be 5 feet underwater and there will be no electricity....Do your part to help.    THIS IS SUPER SERIOUS....SUPER....


Details | Free verse | |

asking

All the things you should know
All the swings you’ve taken on me
But haven’t noticed at all
And there goes the things you won’t know

Can’t you see all I got to tell you?
Can’t you tell just by the sound of my steps?
And as it seems you won’t notice at all
And I won’t tell you, not now, not tomorrow

Till you notice what have you done
How does that stomping on my dreams
Dragging all I know down
What I thought was concrete now is just flour on the floor.

So by now all I got to tell you
Is, ask me please
Just the right time, the right words and everything fine.
And it seems that here I’ll be for eons

With all this around me
And you don’t seem to care
You don’t care at all
With my broken past, and you can’t see it 

And there it goes my hope
Within this forest I don’t see a way out
And guarding what’s left it’s all I have.

And still you don’t care.

~Anna


Details | Free verse | |

Dark Day

The day had dawned with promises of times good
When the little child was begging for food
Hadn’t seen a morsel in days, still didn’t have it in sight
Would the Gods in heaven pity my plight?

The day had dawned and the nation saw rays of hope
Although Oh! Father, they found you hanging at the end of a rope
Unable to bear the grief of seeing his children die
Lying around, like birds that couldn’t fly

The day had dawned and the flag was hoisted
Pomp and show followed, banners were posted
But I didn’t get a grain of rice, even though I tried
And I watched, as of starvation, my brothers died

The day had dawned, and we’re independent they said
Free from the clutches of an anarchist figure head
But why am not free from this destitution
What did I get from freedom, or a new constitution?

Should I believe the hollow words of the proponents of this theory?
For their words are like icing on an undemocratic pastry
Or should I look around and trust what I see
Not a drop of water, not a standing tree

Look at the sky, God! Has the day dawned?
Look around you, and wave your magic wand
Rid the world of sorrow, set things right
Because for the little child, it isn’t dawn, it is still night


Details | Free verse | |

Soy Sauce Spills

Soy sauce drains 
Into the white, clustered rice
Stepped on…
spills . . . 
Soy sauce taints
The whiteness of the grain
 It slips out of my hands
No use...no point in crying out in rage
Though I was starving, 
I'll just eat another thing and start on a new page

I'm hungry like a swine
I wish I can earn back my snack!
I'm as angry as a bull
I'm about ready to attack! Attack!
Soy sauce packages
Fall unto the dirty school ground
Stepped on
By bratty, conceited teens
They really need to eat their greens
Instead of junkfood and pizza
They should drink some water
Instead of drinking sugary drinks or
 Sucking on popsicles obnoxiously
Why did the soy sauce spill? Seriously....


Details | Free verse | |

A Friend With Consequences

I'll shine brighter than ever when I find my way past my woes the farther I wander the more I shall know that I'm a friend with consequences and only one could let that go He somehow convinced me that I needed correction now I know where I'm going for I followed his directions no more full of blaming I point it right at my nose and realize all my problems are by no one else controlled Will I ever shine with a destiny, kind I still have little meaning but he is there with me, sometimes when our doors have been locked up for so many years it feels good to have someone come in my circle, share my fear Everyone so full of hatred afraid of letting us by even when we're most broken still a spark in our eye you think that would tell them that we just want to live life to the fullest potential that our dreams aren't denied We talk of good and evil agreed on right and wrong tell tales of when we struggled and what we did to be strong as the world the he's seen is darker than mine I am less respected as a person but I accept that, it's fine for he talks to me like I'm worthy and proud to be my friend that's why I could never replace all the treasured words of wisdom he gave me like a story of survival, rise and fall though I am a friend with great consequences I could never begin to replace him, at all my personal Jesus, I see the great Messiah in him I hope one day to inherit his good heart to pass it on to some kid one day, struggling.


Details | Free verse | |

Nobody's Child

The scorn of abandonment,
howls of silence
when a room entered,
the school yard clatter
community chatter,
pulpit perniciousness
traduce in speculation.
Housewives with
corrective attitudes
deft in moralistic anomalies,
snarls over the broom
with piercing eyes declaring
“Hands off
there stands the scrum of the womb”.
Yes i am a motherless child
raised in an environment
of inclement
wagging tongues,
haggish gapes
smug righteousness,
born of woman
alas not a mother!

copyright 2012
Harry J Horsman 2012


Details | Free verse | |

deep-dark-hollowed heart

I stand 
I wait
I worried
for the things that may not happened

I hope
I pray
I cried
longing for a peaceful heart

All I wanted is...
when i close my eyes I won't feel afraid
and when I open my eyes, a smile will appear 
coz today i breathe again

in a deep-dark-hollowed heart
like living as a sinner
like walking around in a forest finding a way out
God, released me from this feeling...

Nobody wants to feel alone
like a stranger in a crowded place
take me to a home where love can hold me
to a nice sleep when the night comes

I am lost so find me
I cry so hug me
I am lonely so love me...


Details | Free verse | |

Love Thing

She will not say she was Predator.
She knows she was
(She has that throbbing memory to
remind her)
But it's in her intuition,
Her breath (her life)
To be Victim.
Let her play the part.

"It was like a game of chess
Against myself and I;
I won
And thus I lost-

We met by fate
Intertwined by what we loved
The ice gradually cracked and broke
And I wanted his flesh on mine,
His breath on mine
But he wanted me wholeheartedly.
ME!

But I was too torn
I am torn to pieces.

Yet I consented knowing...
Knowing...
I will break everything
So long as I'm broken
And without action,
Without thought,
He was made broken
And now he breaks everything.
A pestilent sick that penetrates.
How was I supposed to know he would grow ill?"

Now nod.
Smile until your jaw cracks,
Else she'll bicker
Til you do.
Don't show signs that you tracked her lie
But show pity...
She doesn't deserve pity
But smile with pity
Pity that the b**** lied to you.

That she deserves.


Details | Free verse | |

Black Jungle Cat

Several women were in the breezeway
Going from the sanctuary to the Fellowship Hall.
On either side of the French doors,
They gazed out the large windows in fear.
As I walked up to them, one of them asked
In hopeless desperation, "Who will go outside
And get the supplies for us."  They looked at each other.
She said this because the enemy was on our shores,
Patrolling every city, great and small.  I saw the armies.
People were afraid to venture outside their houses.
There were no soldiers in the street at this time.
It was a clear day.  I said to them, "I will go."
I opened and closed one French door and felt it...
FEAR was thick.  It crouched like a black jungle cat,
Panther or jaquar, lurking in the brush for prey.
My eyes were wide open as I walked the distance
Of the Staff's parking area.  There was a chamber 
Underground set aside for certain supplies.  
The enemy's presence was strong as I looked around.
I think I had to unlock its door before I opened it.
I took what was needed and walked through Fear.
I never saw him, but the enemy's threat to pounce
Was felt with each step until I quickly reached the porch
And entered back inside the church in front of the office.


(This is a dream I had the year after 9/11.)


Details | Free verse | |

unsaid

Dont know what to write ,yet sat down too.
sometimes its hard to pen the thoughts,

they are so deep in heart and mind
 which wanna stay there and feel safe unsaid.

heart and mind are so different being in one
always contradictory.

then how can i expect you to understand me.
I feel betrayed and worse for what you did.

 just few words changed my entire world.
glad that you showed yourself though
after my ruin.

the lessons are heavy on heart n mind.
words have to power to make or shake.

I am so lost and confused to know
whether this  is poetry or not.

just a scribbling of unexplained emotions.
would be so nice,just someone reads
my mind and heart,just to see what
I am into.

 dont take me for granted ,dare not
and not be judgmental.

coin has two sides and I have a heart to feel.
 all the pain goes away with a smile,
              holidaying in the
golden memories of the past ,
holding back the flow of tears too.


Details | Free verse | |

Crops

Crops are grown
I am among them
Playing hide and seek
Scarecrow's scare is scarce
As I run along the branches
Shouting with joy

I feel the wind and the rain
Cold at times yet comforting
Shielded by the crops not knowing
What's out there in the horizon

Crippling the crops, I can't run fast
Blinding they are, I yearn for the open space
Then the ocean and the horizon comes
I see everything but nothing to see

I am going back to the crops
That is my home
But I am scared of the Scarecrow
Because crops can not shield me


Details | Free verse | |

Trial

To the wisest there is no answer
Even as a multitude perplexed
The one whose trouble is their concern
Knowing far less even for himself
Ordinary yet alone and seemingly unparalleled
Perhaps the narcissism talking
The rectitude repair if possible
But no happy cure

Not for this one like a
Substituted sheep upon the altar
Could it not have been an object
Of less potential
Unguided and unsourced, fearing
The before it is too late
Life lived as days not as a whole
Never having had an adequate defense
Against the prosecutor who knoweth all


Details | Free verse | |

The Cremation of My Uncle- 2

When his truck met
with nature so pure,
Did he know his time
was coming to an end?

Basic elements of life
taught each day
not to think twice.
Giving humans oxygen,
yet encouraging a raging fire,
just ordinary trees.
Did he know they would 
cut his time short?

A cremation vault so sacred
destroys our lives.
It put him in a vase
rather than a box.
Does he know now
that he has come
to an end?

-Caroline Youngless


Details | Free verse | |

I am what you are

At the lowest points in life,
Is when it is discovered.
I am consumed by you.
I have lost myself, 
Or maybe I just never knew.

The lights are looking dim these days.
The skies are soaring low.
Visions seem blurred,
Confused completely on what to do.

Days are shorter,
Nights are longer.
I never want to falter.
But I no longer have a shelter.

No safety.
No security.
I am on my own.
I defend only myself.

Who I am,
Has yet to be found.
I am no longer homeward bound.

I let this go.
I slip, I fall.
Its never good enough.

I thought I hit rock bottom,
But I have never felt this low.
How long, how much will I endure,
Before I find something pure.

I am pure, only of evil.
I am nothing better than your enemy.
I can only give back what you gave me.
I am a product of what you have created.


Details | Free verse | |

Reflections: Intellectualism

To Dine, To Die;
Conversations spiral
While thunderous eyes
Grasp concepts to recycle.

Constant debt crisis
A political paradox
Grating social devices
Over the sorting of socks.

Pseudo-analysis
An endless groan
Argumental paralysis
The debate grants no throne.

Existentialism
Over a roast
Potatoes won't listen
To who talks the most.

"That point is so interesting"
The floor is open for chat
"What is real?" not a thing
"Meow" adds the cat.


Details | Free verse | |

Dog's Thoughts

Need to understand:
What I am?
But more important:
What is this?
I have four paws and a tail
This has two paws and no tail
I'm little, but strong
This is bigger and taller
I like to leak this thing
It gives out strange sounds
What an unusual situation!
But not bad, if I have to say
I used to live in a cage
It came and brought me away
Here, where I'm wondering now
I don't know yet, but I like it.


Details | Free verse | |

The Switch Up

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


~JSLambert


Details | Free verse | |

Nonsense

Author Note
This poem is the result of personal frustration pertaining to the amount of nonsense we deal 
with every day. It makes no sense and neither does this. Anybody out there? 




politicians don't lie, 
promises a pigs eye, 
to do or try, 
we know why, 
mothers cry, 
life a lie, 
we never die 

the rich get poorer, 
the poor get richer, 
they call you mister, 
meet an alien visitor, 
better odds with a twister 

sale means craving 
taxing promotes saving, 
bathing then shaving, 
road workers paving, 
preachers raving, 
neighbors waving 

the economy is sound, 
taxes equal all around 
the President crowned, 
craters upside down mounds, 
job security, solid ground 

education improving, 
students deluding 
teachers intruding, 
nothing profound, 
archaic sound 

foolishness abound, 
unstable ground, 
wherever nonsense is found 








Details | Free verse | |

building my stolen empire out of loose ends: CRIME OF THE CENTURY

was this tortured victoms ground zero a lie?
were his 17 sites of an obsessive world peace nature proof in the pudding?
were the forgetfulintentions of poetrypoem helpful at all?
the life lesson of ressurecting three literary saviours and then slaughter them
how many witnesses
to this technicolor dream there to keep you living?

can you prove me wrong
that i just averted the holocaust?
was the confusion of this necisary?

from the homeless shelter starting over

the realisation of how many cities have already cried
not televised of their tears
the world sick with war

many affected in their own ways for their perceptions of a life they lived


Deadlocked
back stab society
deadlocked
crime of the century
deadlocked

the story of a stolen empire
whoever they were
were going to bomb my city
whoever they are
have been torturing people
whoever they were
are going to lie through their teeth

deadlocked with confusion
sucked in with terrorism
and spit out as a peace keeper
sucked in with good intentions to aid survivors of tragedy and war
spit out as person with a soul

deadlocked
the crime of the century
classic con or not
the mixing pot society
that almost died
the mystery unravelling of me your allie
and you working for me
to kill worldly enemies
to play the game to get me laid
called keeping miserable happy

all the way from youtube's imcallingjapan
to an x tube music video
all the way from the governments of facebook

the pancake sting of the satanic community
walking circles downtown clapping chanting pancakes
family and friends waiting acting like strangers
someone starts making fun of this person
he yells you hate sex
family and friends start clappping and chat sex sex sex
then give a stranger a high five
and walk away under cover again

deadlocked earth
i have taken over this planet
its a thing
like the way to kill warpigs if they take over the police
called rap
to color code an ambush
you cant coordinate
but i can

the crime of the century of saving your life
yeah thats my empire of loose ends
the ones that changed your life
the ones that fit in the manners of me taking over the world

those 80 families with million dollar paintings
with poems assisting futuristic intelligence on the back
deadlocked
back stab society

i just took over the planet
like the porn industries game of hug all over the mediapope of twitter


Details | Free verse | |

The Monster in my Head

"The Monster in my Head"

Do you know what it's like
to hear voices at night?
The kind that keep you awake.

You may fall asleep,
yet it's anything but peaceful
as the screams penetrate into dreams.

The thoughts and fears you keep inside
come alive and refuse to leave,
as they voice what you've tried so hard to hide.

Pills will not help; alcohol only delays
There is no escape from the voice;
Listening is no longer a choice.

I just want rest, a moment of peace.
Silence the voices.
Save me, please.


Details | Free verse | |

Cave of Nothingness

Alone- wandering in Earth’s bowels-
Nighted caves heave and bellow 
clammy, cold sighs.

Within their antediluvian cores-
I seek the Solace of Despair.

Murky phantoms enchant disturbed minds
Those raped of sustenance, deprived of care

Finger traces in silted thoughts-
Apparition of
corporal artifacts yet remain…
The wandering envelopes me…

O’ lover, my lover
caress me
Caves of loneliness-
Ceaselessly-
Coupling satiety.

Moldy boughs touching degenerately-
embrace me
For wicked abandon I yearn
Unrestrained anguish I’ve earned.





Details | Free verse | |

Did I Eat Dinner

Did I Eat Dinner?

How could I have lost my mind?
I remember bits and pieces of my day
Eggs and pancakes for breakfast
Coffee and cream for lunch
What did I have for dinner?
Did I even eat dinner?
I sat across from a woman
I seem to remember that.
She talked and I answered
I think we talked
What did we talk about?
Did I hear anything or did I make it up?
Was she real?
Did I eat dinner?
I think I smelled a steak and baked potato
Or is it potatoe, I don’t remember?
Could the smell have come from next door?
I don’t know
It could have.
They eat dinner every night
Or do they…I don’t remember if I have neighbors
Did I eat dinner?
I don’t remember
There is a plate in front of me
I don’t remember how I got it
It has good smelling food
Pancakes, steak and home fries
Is this dinner?
Did I have dinner?
This is most likely breakfast
I think I missed my dinner
Did I have dinner?
I will never know
But I will eat my breakfast
And maybe later in the day I will have dinner
If I remember.


Details | Free verse | |

Eclipse Of The Soul

Eclipse Of The Soul
By: Noel N. Villarosa


Plants harmonize to the sun to bring life aglow
And to rest at the night’s luminary
The sea is waiting for the wind to blow
And serve as cradle for fish hatchery

And mankind, on the hustle and bustle of each day
Gyrate on a merry-go-round, so tedious
Withal, a wishy-washy self
And a thrall of his own fear
Thither that place called ‘hades’
And in his dream the edelweiss and wisteria
Go down to ecocide
The fierce billow has taken many billet doux
Into a forlorn land
Pensive for a homing pigeon to carry his thought to God
That once awaken, a harmonica is playing
And a new paradise for dwelling
Many at threescore are not contented
And praying for a longer life
But many committed blasphemy so umpteen
And now yelling for the forgiveness of sin
And the fracas he brought to nature

Now mankind is waiting for the great covenant
For the realization of life, truth, and love as above all
And the destruction of sin, sickness, and death
Before he sees the complete eclipse of his soul


Written and posted in voicesnet.com poetry site: 28 October 2009 


Details | Free verse | |

'the blank canvas'


the canvas staring back at me
  still blank 
my heart is empty 
so is my mind
tears no longer have a home 

thoughts
emotion
fears
are gone 

the day turned a brighter 
shade of grey 
or is it pale?? 

I feel less than I did
yesterday 
who knows? 

maybe tomorrow 
the canvas will 
have a zigzag line --

I am still here
just not flying yet
 - a wounded heart 
that's on the mend

I’ll take my time, 
it will be worth it in the end...

250920111550


Details | Free verse | |

Suicidal Thought's

Am i awake
Am i dreaming
I wish someone could 
penetrate my mind
am i going to cope
with all these suicidal thought's
the evil's that are running 
though my sick twisted mind
Dr.s say my mind
is inaccesible
i take their pill's
with no effect
The doctor's inferior mind's
can't figure mine out
is my mind a maze of lie's
of suicidal thought's
i need to listen to 
the voice's in my head


Details | Free verse | |

Fabrication Edifice

They asked me what I wanted
For they would bestow it to me
But to be unambiguous in what I wanted

I wanted a yellow house
Painted in canary yellow
With a neat white trim all over.
With the most triangular angularity
Painted in the queerest brightness of white
In the front wall was to be a huge window
The most mammoth window
Carefully frosted
Depicting a grand piano of majestic magnitude
I would be in there playing, playing, playing
I would be in there playing, playing the piano
All of this would be perched on a biggest hill
The brightest green hill
The brightest yellow sun
All shining down upon me
As I play my piano

I acquired what I wanted
But forgot the tell them
I want friends to play with too
I want people to talk to too
But I forgot
I forgot the necessity of those 
To talk to
Human relationships
I had a yellow house
Neatly painted a canary yellow
With white trim all over
With a roof of the most triangular angularity
Painted the queerest brightness of white
With a huge frosted window
With a great black, grand piano
All on top of the greenest, grassiest hill
All wrapped up for me

But for miles and miles
All around me
No one was there to talk to
All around me was the greenest, grassiest grass
Shining from the buttery sun
They even gave me beautiful flowers
But
They gave me
No one
To talk to

I sat there playing, playing, playing
My heart out
No one was there to hear it
Except the yellow house
The uncharted world outside
I would give
The yellow house
With all the white trim
With all the perfectly angular roof
With the frosted window
With the great piano
With the buttery sun 
With the grassy hill
With the blue sky

Just for some company


Details | Free verse | |

Deliver me not

In the darkness
I
fight your presence
in my senses. Every 
night
the ghost of your body refuses to 
abandon me and your 
thorns poke
holes in my thin soul which 
pours
out to chase your every move.

The light of dawn 
comes leaving 
me empty 
and insane yearning 
for another day in your
haunting
passionate proximity. 

Nothing 
before was ever like
you, nothing could
ever
confuse and soothe me 
at once.


Details | Free verse | |

Raining outside today

It’s raining outside today,
Can’t you tell?

Even though the curtains are drawn tight
And the only sound in this silence
is the echo of a stuttering breath
I know
That it’s raining outside today
And I know it by the gloom in my heart.	


Details | Free verse | |

What Did You See

In shortness of breath 
he heaves thundering hooves
over gravel road and through thorny brush
In terrors madness he dashed
as elves lie in still and
fae giggled from imaginary hideouts
down into the meadow he dashed,
the gripping thud of hooves 
followed with the crackling of branches
when he stopped:
a quickened still -
    A pricked ear
    the sound of deep breath in scent
        a hesitation
A crack! echoed across the plain
and nestled into trees as foul to wing
did look to see,
a Faun lie bleeding, 
as the demons surrounded him in glorious jubilation
at a prize buck, an ordinary deer to them -
For their eyes couldn't see what was really there -
the elves sang out in lamentations,
while birds did shriek the songs of fae,
    ~ in a land not far away.


Details | Free verse | |

A Green Dog Loves Decent Purple Dandelions

A Green Dog Loves Decent Purple Dandelions

I knew I had it with me
It gave me so many great ideas
Shaped them and formed them into poetry
Lately the words do not come to me
They mix together and become incomprehensible
I write, “A green dog loves decent purple dandelions”
That won’t make sense to anyone with some drugs
I want to write
I want to create something special
“A green dog loves decent purple dandelions”
What the hell does that mean?
They came from my fingers through my keyboard
My fingers were controlled by my mind
What was my mind thinking?
What was the imagery I was intending?
Christ, I wish I knew
He won’t tell me what was in my mind
I don’t think he would want to know
I just know one thing
With lines like that my mind is not with me
It left with a bottle of Kentucky whiskey
Travelling on its own
My mind is on vacation to a different planet
A planet in a galaxy so many light-years away
It may never come back to help me be creative
“A green dog loves decent purple dandelions”
That may be the last line I ever write
And THAT would be a hell of a way to be remembered


Details | Free verse | |

Maze

I'm a person 

I have flesh upon my beating heart
that thinks of wonders then it sparks
of thought of love anew or made
I enjoy to let it stray

I'm a sound 

My words are heard, but which are played
The one in mind won't slip away
but the ones I breath when I lay with you
seems to be the most important words to you

When I open up my mouth 

The birds and seas fly out
they flutter in and flutter out
I make the waves so timid and large
but most ocean nights have silent stars

Theres a reason I don't win 

I can't seem to know where the mirror is
so I could peer into my eyes
and ask myslef: how much I lie
but would rather wander than phase into my wise

I don't know how to begin

My eyes view so many things
and my hands have acted in many ways
but my heart waits to play the days
Of things I built inside this maze



"I'm a person
I'm a sound
When I open up my mouth
There's a reason I don't win
I don't know how to begin"

MGMT Weekend Wars


Details | Free verse | |

Black Rose

Black rose on the wall
See the daylight no more
All the hearts are sore
Left black to the core
No need to wish for more

Take it! 
And throw it on the floor


Details | Free verse | |

Voices

Thoughts racing in my head
Can’t focus on one
To many thoughts to bare
Lots of voices I can’t understand 
I can’t explain
I get hold of one until it slips by its very end
I gasp for air hoping for stillness
Desperately clinging 
By its loose end 
Lots of questions I can’t answer
Beyond the anger
and shattering thoughts
There’s something missing
My breath gets heavier 
As my thoughts burst in my head
I gaze through nothingness
Trying to relieve my brain 
Everything goes blank
World stop spinning
Clock stop ticking
I’m there in the middle
In a place unknown
Between 
Relief and pain
I blink
I’m still here!
I shake my head
I’m still here!
Where is here?
No light 
No colors
No life 
Yet I can hear those voices 
From far away
I can hear their footsteps
They are coming my way
I run through emptiness 
Yet I’m not moving at all
I'm out of breath
Yet I’m getting no where
Emptiness grapes me by the leg
I slip into more emptiness
Until it all turns to blackness 
They hold me from the back
leave me falling in a deep dark hall
And here I go again ....


Details | Free verse | |

Beauty in the Beast

Behind the shadows of one of my dark nights,
I could always hear your damning scream.
So destructive you are and most definitely the principle to my pleasure with this pain.
In the still of one of my Moonlit nights,
Entire shadows went completely insane.
It cursed me until finally I gave in and I came.
Standing behind despairing shadows, they seemed so supreme.
That beast is much too hollow for the depth I declare to redeem.
That beast has such an untimely yet, climatic recognition.
And he is much too wicked for my most harsh extremes.
All at once these moments brought forth my own conviction.
He calls out to me begging me by my God-given Earthly name.

My, my how he opens my constricted eyes in an upright direction.
To the true nature of a man living in a wondrous cloth so plain!
That beast is more than I could've ever dared to imagine him to be.
My Dearest God I do say to my one and only admirable Thee,
I love that Heavenly King, thy Holy One and no more can I add.
His depth I feel even when I am not what I seem.
Yet, I hold a masters key to that beauty in the beast.

Forever and always, you shall reign an Earthly king so enjoy your feast.
Even when the whole wide world thinks that I have gone completely mad,
Yet, I am perfectly holding the only hope even when they are all insane.

To God Almighty and to you earthly kings,
I give to you my right hand delivering priceless love blessed by my name,
Because I was the only one through sickness of my own weakness,
So now their courage shall bleed with every bit of their gambled pain.
I say to you, the beauty in the beast has finally earned his rightful name.
Albeit, I also say to you that victory shall forever rise above his reign.



Details | Free verse | |

The Eyes

The Eyes

The eyes so shattered and so blue,
You sit there and you knew
The pain of losing someone close to you,
And you beg for their return,
But a wish so great, can never be granted.

The eyes shattered and blue,
Watch you,
Take the bottle and drowned yourself,
They watch you destroy yourself,
And they know what they do,
Yet they show no remorse, no pain in heart.

You fall asleep
On a dirty mattress,
Held up by broken dreams
And nightmares,
No pillow, no blanket
Just air you float on.
And your blind eyes close in the night,
The dreams come back to haunt you
And the eyes, they watch you,
So shattered and so blue.

Till three o’clock hits again
Wake in cold sweat,
Spiders on webs weaving a nest
In your head,
A cry out for the Madhouse,
Where the eyes so shattered and so blue
Stare at you, through a window with no reflection.

-10/3/2013


Details | Free verse | |

Silent thoughts

I watch patiently
Listening to me
me thinks my thoughts are too...
open...
too open for this show
Where...who am i going to reveal this to?
me thinks this is just too much for my simple heart
emotions are not meant to be bullets
the thought of an audience of one
seeing this show...my show...my feelings
nope...not mine
silent thoughts
stay hidden
behind my eyes


Details | Free verse | |

smile at me

when your lips
smiled at me
they captured me

to each his own

i love you like 
only little children
love pennies

or cupcakes

that is why it is
so hard for me
to admit that...

even with the
metallic
taste of coins 
in my mouth

what follows 
is the sweet taste
of a chocolate
cupcake in my
mouth

makes me 
lost without you......

poem by mindy
my youngest daughter


Details | Free verse | |

Ego Vulture

What do you see in the mirror of your reflection? 
your own body, or your own detection? 
or the competition of another...the mindless mind occupy your subjective projector
Confusing, deluding...dreams know more order, dreams show more practical structure
The Ego is your master and you the acute apprentice infecting the weak of reality 
using the close resources to master it's design in your mind
It's built your normality and to question is your own insanity 
Feasting upon your wretched blindfold granting your desires \
it gave you your house, that house in which it made you. 
the fatal awareness that mostly last breaths discover
a touching leap too late too seeped with much too weep 
And by then too little to seek what then shall you do once you see the truth?

Could you even muster your own imagination and destroy natures enemy
Or are you the Anti-persona dripped in your own tragedy rippled and shelled
making a hell of a heaven or a heaven of a hell this is the abundant device 
so rarely fought so quiet like mice so if you unveil this master of tricks 
be sure to find your way out of it like shattered glass you may find yourself 
lost without hope grinding deeper into the oblivion vanishing like air in smoke.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Feeling cold,
Lost in desperation,
Remembering sadness,
Getting in frustration...

Trying to let go,
Comprehended,
By few of those.

Losing comprehension,
Restrained from myself,
Being criticized,
Feeling hollowed.

Needing help,
To bring me,
Back to life...


Details | Free verse | |

THE DARKNESS AT NOON - GLOOM

This is like a red moon.
This is like a total eclipse.
The sun becomes black.
SIX MONTHS OF DARKNESS
The gloom occurred during noon unexpectedly.
The media states the world is in Armageddon.
This has been formed from the unknown God.

The world becomes tense.
A universe is in darkness.
It does not affect utilities until the darkness coagulates.
Mania displays on faces.
Children sit quietly.
Crime is on the streets.

The police sirens are heard from a distance.
Looting for no reason because the natural disaster is darkness.
No homes are lost.
No souls are at stake.
The cities and towns are not evacuated.
However, weather is onset.

The stars shine.
The moon they surround.
Time is of the utmost importance.
Foremost, is the day is not in appearance.
The weather person does not know what to tell.
The media is the forerunner of what has occurred everywhere.
Life moves on.
________________|
Penned April 21, 2014
For Dr. Ram Mehta Contest Darkness At Noon


Details | Free verse | |

Off I go

Off I go in the direction of career To lose you is my worst fear What will you do when I’m no longer near What will become of us my dear Nothing is promised but our feelings are clear Falling in love has not been easy for us Little by little we earned each others trust My heart is yours to keep I’ve given in; taken the leap It’s only you and your love I seek Just the thought of leaving makes me weep Remember our good times when you’re alone If you need me please pick up the phone Tell Mister Jay I say hey everyday That I miss him and can’t wait to play Don’t forget what you feel for me today I’ll only be a phone call away In my mind and in my heart you will stay I love you… is all that's left to say Lay


Details | Free verse | |

They

They pronounce to me there is but no ordinary
Then how is it that being dissimilar achievable?
They notify me everyone is diverse
Then is it that being diverse to be ordinary?

They advise to me there is no flawlessness 
But is perfection attainable?
They inform me it is once you do everything acceptably 
So what happens when everything is accepted inaccurately?

They tell me an assortment of things
They inquire about my thoughts
But I have learned time after time to declare to ‘them’:
I want to be the me I once sought


Details | Free verse | |

Spy versus spy versus spy

If looks and money are what your about
your not getting very far with me
If you believe we use sattelites in space to watch television
you have to be kidding me

One happy victom
center of attention of the brand new dance
teaching his mentors the set up
and allowing them to practice
unbeknownst to the hardcore satanists
we have been watching them all along
practicing our own genre of miracle play
and plotting to trump the hole in their plot

Now they believe in magic
as the media strings them along
i am soo easy to get to
since i am the blind leading the blind
practicing the perfect act
to get away with the perfect crime
this is the leash around your neck
and suddenly it has become mine

Center stage of a plot
where they carry out the joke of me
never understanding my subtle warnings
never fully knowing
there is a hole in the plan
for the world does not revolve around you
and your twisted desires
we did what was right
and will continue to fight fire with fire
Act 1 scene 1 practice makes perfect
act 1 scene 2 an act of our own
act 1 scene 3 deadlocked and now you know

The life around me, fitting me like a glove
a practiced routine
waiting to be noticed so we can play our trump
Spy versus spy versus spy
and in the middle the blind leading the blind
the story of a century you cant afford not to pay attention to
but miss out on it all the time

We told you it was a group effort
to do your bidding mr. powerful renegade
this choke chain around my neck should remind you something
something we have in common
but you didn't know i was refraining from pulling the chain
it's getting harder to breath this unbreathable air
it's getting more difficult to handle the constant lies and drama
I will be fine
just pull this chain
choke you back
we will switch shoes
and welcome to my cult classic

Spy versus spy versus spy
soo many people playing yet too many oblivious for their own good
i could keep this up for your best interest
but thats not suiting me anymore
so we watch you practice your routine
wait for the hole in your plan
and prove it
we are deadlocked
deadlocked
no way out for all involved
I step to the side
you get whats coming to you
i get to move on


Details | Free verse | |

Erase The Human Race

Erase The Human Race With one empty space I can erase the human race From the daze of the gray haze When the days create the case For an ironic song of wrongly structured Verbs where every line is on the curb With one solitary tap of the keyboard I can record morbid and sordid chords Abhorred by the hordes of lords Who were painted so high on the fly Like false dimes in time to rhyme On the memory of a fallen poet And we could surely blow it We all know it With one line we define our humanity On the pages of insanity Locked in the basement of vanity Our fingers feverishly fingering A fake falsetto Over orange skies Like flies we flock to the newest thing Which brings us to sing of rings and bling While we fling the wings of the king The keys are falling all around Found and bound and bounced And flaunted by the haunted and daunted Who thought they could do the right thing When the fight tonight on this moonlight sonata Could bring the end to our technological structure It's with one empty space That I can erase the human race


Details | Free verse | |

Paint

          Paint 
Trying to be something it ain’t 
 The very source for the beloved word hate
Guys, we’ve been painting like this for awhile now 
So open a window before I faint 
                                Paint’s supposed to be great 
But the colors still don’t seem to blend we’ll have to wait 
And I’m growing impatient… 

These walls are secretly covered in blue 
My veins are filled, to the maximum capacity, with the bluest paint you’ve ever seen
So are his, so are hers, so are yours 
                                            And sometimes the paint pours
But the blue wears out and red’s the new coat
        Now the walls are red 
It’s like we’re the same entity 
Man there must be something wrong with my head 
                           Was it a dream? 
A nightmare cloud of nothing I’ve ever seen? … 

Then it hit me like a brick in the face
               I dozed off in the middle of a “race”
And Poor Humanity couldn’t keep pace
And that sucks because I was rooting for him
But that good ole’ hate was about to take first place 
As he crossed the finished line, more paint spilled from its can
    Blue paint turned to red again
A Paintbrush was sharpened and used as a knife 
                                           It wasn’t a dream, it was life…

This doesn’t make sense
My mind is dizzy…
                  Why must the Paint run?
Why does it slowly drip from the barrel of my gun?
Why do I hold a gun?
Why am I painting these walls red?
                                   NO! 
Now these walls are dead
And so are yours and so are his and so are hers 
If I don’t stop, than it’s ugly walls for all…

      I think this is an epiphany! …

The first coat of paint is always the same color
 All walls are identical in the beginning 
The second coat is not always a different color than someone else’s but it’s not always the same 
It hides the first coat from sight 
        That deep blue that, if coaxed, transforms into red
And that coat should never seep through 
  Because the second coat is what make the walls beautiful
                       No matter the color of the walls of the house you call home


Details | Free verse | |

My Mama

My Mama she trips out in the moon light
when I’m safely tucked up in bed
she dresses to wow her audience
but I know not of her occupation
when I ask I am greeted by silence
and then “You will understand when you grow up”

My Mama she returns at break of day
before the curtains begin to twitch or draw
she’ll come in exhausted and fix my breakfast
then checking in on me she’ll wake me for school
before she goes off to bed – she’ll see me later
to ask about my day and play

A Mamas kiss, a smile, a hug, warmth, food and a roof
Yet when we go out together people turn 
to talk to one another, quietly nodding
Funny looks are cast our way and yet not one shall speak to us
Aged nine in school I find out why 
when another child will laugh

“Ya Mama works the streets
lies on her back, watches the sky – to feed ya
-Tis what my Ma said”
It makes me cry
I love my Mama
but this shame hurts

I want to die…


Details | Free verse | |

If Only I Could Be a Drop...

If only I could be a drop of crystalline water
In thousands and thousands of humans I would live
I would stay motionless in hearts and hover...

An angel moved me in my sleep
and took me way beneath the white Earth...

I slowly slide through the Happiness Channel 
in which Love laughingly screams...
My terror-stricken heart collides 
with the desperation of the centuries that pass...


written at 12, translated now.


Details | Free verse | |

Now Seriously, Folks

What can you say?
What must you say?
What will you say?
Say it, damn it,
then go away.


sometimes people say things when saying nothing is sufficient.


Details | Free verse | |

Stuck

I'm like a lion
Tryin to be  trained
to behave in a cage, but
I wasnt born to be tame
Full of stress and rage
 Im compressed and chained
Infected with depression
beCause I cant catch a break
Lifes taste is so tart
In pain from my scars
Stained by lame luck
Stuck behind apace car
I strive to write
But all I can type is the space bar
I'm Pervaded with doubt
About to freakout
Quick Someone bail me out
I would sniff my way out
but I got this cyst on my snout
From 6 years of this drought
Im sittin with this could of pout
Stickin to me like jam from a can
like melted candy in your hand
I'M a pantree full of Spam
 A Letter without the stamp
A debtor without a plan
Like chicken on a pan without any Pam,
Damn I'm starting to get pissed
 I got to devise a plan, before I break my fist,
Punching this brick wall, I got the spit but no ball
got the wits with no squall, like a toliet with no stall
 Slippin in a pit fall, Shiz just snow balls
I want to brawl, missed last call
My Stick shift just stalled,
This lawl has no intention at stopin at all
And I'm kicking myself in the balls
like old men walking up and down the halls
so i flop, just like a dust mop
Now i got knots in my food box
The size of king kongs rocks and
Every door has been locked
I try to soar but its all for not


Details | Free verse | |

Pills

Now when I was a young man 
I didn’t need pills everything worked
I wasn’t a fan 

But now that I'm old 
I need pills everyday 
One to lower my blood pressure 
Another to keep the cholesterol away 

Now I have a new one 
To keep my mind straight 
And because of this 
I can’t ejaculate 

It’s good for an old man to stay hard for so long 
But even for that 
I need a pill for that schlong

I wonder whats next in the pill world for me 
Maybe a pill 
So I can pee 

They gave me holder to keep my pills all arranged 
But keeping them straight 
Is making me deranged 

I need a pill to tell me what pill and when 
Because for the life of me 
I forget now and then 

I can’t tell the difference between the colors of each  
If I take the wrong one 
I have a hard on and no speech 

Now all these little pills 
Cost a pile of bills 
Which causes me 
Lots of stress and ill 

No more pills thank you 
I’ve had my fill 

Eric (and always will be)  
 


Details | Free verse | |

Sweet Children, Sleep

To the Newtown Children

A poet cries with broken heart

Look thine hearts be washen clean with death,
God knows how hastily can be
By an unfitting goodly young man
Become just another evil’s killer.
Take thou no mean of life
That so tenderly and small
Arranged now along that cold room
Where a hundred of parents
Like you and I look on poor children that thou think:
One day they shall be a doctor or a thinker like us.
To understand really why the hungry death
Has to do for their final journey in front of this sickness?

O, children! American children! My children!
I warn thee in all my heart and soul
That could not happen so earlier on life
And where thou cast the peace and saint in the kindness of grace
Take care of them from danger, thou take for a leaf
And makes my heart bleeding every one like us become angry
How in this heavenly nation this massive fate could occur?

Hold me fast in thine embrace God,
Where my despair cannot be silenced,
Let you and me and everyone else to knee and cross
Our fingers against our chest and pray for them,
Give them, Lord, thy blessing give,
Pray for them and mother as well,
And I shall finish this poem with trembled
Fingers and tears cascading over this bloody
Sheet as an awaken wind has just blown it from me.


Details | Free verse | |

A Fork In The Road

I am lost in a tangled wood Reaching for a rope like thread Two fingers balancing One, two, three…. Like ballerina legs Gliding along the tendril floor Inching forward, halted By a knotty carrefour The dense foliage Throwing shadows around the cracks Guiding God’s fingers Illuminating the furcate tracks A judgment, God or Heart… Trust or regret… One path forward One path back


Details | Free verse | |

Train

I am coming, move away
I run majestically
Slow to start, I speed along
where the tracks take me

Some lead me
Some hop on me
Some follow me
Some watch me along
by the sidelines

I am cheered by some
Some throw stones at me
I change tracks as I like
I can fall in danger
I do not fear

Sometimes I reverse
Then move ahead
My time is over it seems
I finally stop

Oh! thought I was the train
I was only a driver
Its time to pave the way
for another to take over.


Details | Free verse | |

The Grief of Crows

Soaring above the bushfire's flames,
astounded crows, blacker than charred
tree trunks, flap spectral wings.

Numb with loss, no caws drone out.
Wind rushes in updrafts from
the smoky heat: to rise as a vengeful spirit,
to hammer at fleeing pinions,
to witness aimless circles above coal black trees,
now absent of rough stick nests.


Suzanne Delaney


Details | Free verse | |

Light To Dark

You think you’ve gone just far enough,

I could smile knowing you’ve gone far enough that you can’t go back again

You think you were careful but,

I’ve caught a glimpse of your true, wretched form

You think you can find a way into my good graces

I’ve seen what you are, monsters with a friendly costume

You can’t deceive me anymore and, I don’t consort with serpents

You think I’m a game to be played but, trust me, you could never win

Don’t underestimate me

You think I’m a joke but, trust me you won’t be laughing

You think I’m just talking myself up but, trust me, you’re the ones going down

My eyes took too long to adjust

Better late than never

It may take a monster to know one but, I promise my teeth are sharper than yours

My first reaction to the hideous revelation that was your form was to weep

Fall to my knees, maybe even wretch my heart from my chest and onto the carpet

Then I thought about the mess it would make

I decided the only blood that will spill, will be your own

I was not weak, but I had a weakness

A heart of soft gold stitched to my sleeve with care

No longer

Now my heart is a stone so heavy

I could kill at least two birds at once 

Being the nice guy is a thing of the past 

Thanks for freeing me of that softness

You thought I was all sunshine and delicate things

When really I had just been swallowing razor blades

Now that sun is setting and I hope you see it was you who were wrong

Can you feel my darkness coming, because it’s eager to hold you

If you thought I was the one who would just stand still or turn to run

Your gonna be the one with tired feet

I’m not sad anymore

Just sick with the plague of your lies

Contagious, and I’m looking for someone to kiss

Even angels can make themselves wicked

When we do, we take no prisoners

Still think I’m a game

This one is just beginning


Details | Free verse | |

The Piano Stand

I was sitting at the piano stand,
cracking my hands, getting ready to play,
when a man walked in, no one knew who,
he was, because no one had seen him in a while.

He sat in a chair, his hair so blonde and long as could be,
my hand touched the piano key,
I realized it was my dad not that it was bad,
just why was he here, i can't bare to see his face.

I stopped playing,
I started saying,
How mad i am for his fame,
He walked out of the school in shame.

I wondered why he was famous and what for,
He left me and my brothers to be poor,
For some other.

I can never forgive him,
but i'll let him live on in his fame,
for i have nothing to shame.
For i knew he would not claim,
me as a daughter or friend.

I moved my hands from the keys on the piano,
for i have moved on to another Piano Stand.


Details | Free verse | |

Constantly Torment

Tears well in my eyes; don't let anyone see
Patch the broken parts over and over
Let no one know I am late for the show
Again, unconcern seems my plot
Friends don't desire your lights
Lard biscuits don't make you slender
Taste and know; It ain't for show

Tastes change and remove a familiar flavor
no lard to make those butter biscuits today
Hushpuppy corn bread is the way to go


Details | Free verse | |

Adolescent Angst

The knowledge that I am
is not.
Like an hallucination,
I am
nothing more than
a name --
a designation of something
that is
yet to be.

The future must unfold
all that
I become in later years.
For now, 
I know not why,
or, perhaps,
even that I do
exist....


Details | Free verse | |

Memories Beyond the Door

The mind is like a swinging door,
Opening and closing all the time.
It remembers everything good and bad.
Intrusions take over the mind if aloud.
But even though I know this well,
A fear erupts now and then from deep within-

Growing old, not dying, but living way too long,
Ending up in a nursing home lonely and forgotten,
Broken, walking-not, my freedom cut short,
Dependent on not myself, but hands of many strangers,
Cries are ignored, silencing my tears forcing them within

My numerous surgeries have deepened these fears.
I'm used to a spine fused too many times,
And legs weakened far too long.
What will happen to me
When I no longer can care for myself?

"Don't worry about tomorrow, enjoy today"
Hard to do when I allow my fears to override my thoughts.



05/01/2013




Details | Free verse | |

unfinished


i’m lost.

wandering my mind, hollow now.

secrets tucked in the seams, invisible to passer-bys.

each step leaves an imprint behind,

dust settling into the crevices left by my toes.

the world empty,

immune to stolen glances between souls and half-hearted exchanges.

peace swept away,

pushed to the side by an old broom of straw and wood.

oxygen dissipates,

I try hard,

harder to breathe.

but all that is left to soothe my lungs

is the empty, grey air,

void of the warmth of shared space
.

sometimes I sneak away

to send a fluid rush to my veins,

entrancing my mind in a fictional fantasy.

alone, I bathe in my secrecy,

cleansing my skin with vibrant truths.


Details | Free verse | |

Theatrical Life

No drama,
Criticized,
No scene,
Criticized,
No theater,
Critized,
No life,
Criticized,
No death,
Criticized...

A hipnotic spell,
A happy comedy,
An impact of tragedy,
A depressive sorrow,
A constant paranoia,
A living psychology,
A passing psychiatry...

An endless beginning...


Details | Free verse | |

musings of an impaired being

Does it really matter that i conform to the norms of the day?
What perfect blueprint is there for the journey called life?
Who are you to chastise me for being filled with flaws?
Only one was made perfect.
who deems it otherwise?
Who made you judge and jury over the morally bankrupt?
How dare you raise your nose when your anus is filthy?
Aren't we all on this journey to utopia?
what being dares claim arrival?
That life is fraught with connundrums and challenges is not far fron the turth.
That humans of different races will be judged alike is up for debate.
I'm filled with vices, and so are you
but thou hipocrisy shields your misdeeds.

Listen, fellow weaklings
Take caution as you condescend,
for the descent is inevitable.
What fun is there to life if we dont fall and rise?
What story will be told if we dont lose and repossess?
How would we become fitter if we are not faced with storms?
Who can best define our cause on devil's roof?

Is it survival or procreation?
Is it strifes or oppression?
No one really can tell, only HIM  knows

Clerics hold us bondage to selfish doctrines,
and we gullibly oblige.
Like a procession of zombies,
yearning for the release their words present,
unable to put our reasoning to test,
and lose the cloak of vulnerability.
Who exactly are we?
puppets of nature?
or rivals in the ring of life?
Do you wonder why harmony dwell scarce in the elements?
Or why philophobia lives in the heart of men?
I'm speechless, i tremor
at the level of discord we habour
Can humans ever really change?
do we just suppress some deeds at whim?
and display others when we desire.
Will we ever be whole?


Details | Free verse | |

A Mindless Society

Solitarily I stand,
In an attempt to understand the brutality of my brother,
And prostitution of my sister.
Each one for the survival of their own.

My thoughts are shielded by a dark cloud of confusion
As I begin to grasp society’s hold over our lives,
How we are classified by this very same society,
Each one in their own lane.

Lifelessly, we’re marching,
To the tunes of an off-key society,
In lines pre-conceived for us,
We have not a say.
Driven by naivety, 
Ignorant to the senseless violations of our clear thinking ability;
Propaganda in its ultimate state.

Murderer of joy is the society in which we dwell,
Lacking logic justifications is the society I once thought knew it all.
Abandoning me in my most vacant state is the society I once idolized.

I am incarcerated by is chains of deception and hate.
I defy all odds.
An endeavor to walk free. 
As they pace down my cheeks, tears cause controversial whispers amid society

If this is the norm of our lifetime,
I dread my days to come. 





Details | Free verse | |

Let's Do Some Thinking

Sometimes I think about life.

I think about Nature
I think about School
I think about Friends
I think about Intelligence
I think about Technology
I think about Love
I think often 

And sometimes I just think about life all around
As a whole
As one big thing
As one big story
Containing letters and chapters that have yet to be written
Containing a beginning that will never be able to be changed
Containing an ending that you won't realize what has ended, until you reach it
I think about these things
And sometimes
I don't think
I do. 

Now read it backwards. (: Let's do some thinking about thinking and doing.


Details | Free verse | |

Drunken pen

Drunken pen, follow thy drunken finger
Letting it bleed what it feels, for my heart 
It no longer feels, nor my eyes cry
My tears are lost in the trees 
My mind so drunken confuse and scramble
Hurt emotions fall with the rain
My tongue stuck under a rock, for what can I say

Drunken pen, follow thy drunken finger
Letting it bleed what it feels, for my heart 
It no longer feels, nor my eyes cry
My spirit is floating in the river
My soul is trapped in dreams
Hurt emotions fall with the rain
Feet stuck in quicksand, for I can no longer walk

Drunken pen, follow thy drunken finger
Letting it bleed what it feels, for my heart
It no longer feels, nor my eyes cry
My tears and spirit are lost in the trees, and floating in the river
My mind and soul are confuse,scramble and trapped in dreams
Hurt emotions fall with the rain, I cry each and every day
My tongue so sore, I no longer speak
My feet so weak, I no longer walk

Drunken pen, follow thy drunken finger
Letting it bleed what it feels, for my heart
No longer feels, what you want it to feel


Details | Free verse | |

World Wide Web

Horizontal trying to manufacture soothing snowflakes
Inside this deserts globe the coolness, in their touch...
An escape from realities pangful dust; walking away from
These venues a breath and somewhat fresh air; generic
Fourth of July independence day time square banners
A collective shout their cup of tea turning the ignition untying
Wild mules five minutes gone by yet all be lost; the thrill
Past do it again, they scream popping pills as cutting
Dreams atop golden rust in mildewed editing floors making time
Forming lines, endless here you are another jolt joe, then off you go.


Details | Free verse | |

A Horse Worn Out

I am horse
Ride saddle 'pon my back
O'er plains of outer space or
O'er wishing grounds
My spit shine for a baker's bet
Wood is shrieker
And father my horse
Lay amongst the wary
And tell the hunter
Who's skin you enter soundly
Tell to him thy name;
Thy name is horse!


Details | Free verse | |

Sorrow's Drink

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Free verse | |

Your Touch


Sitting here thinking this through, What happened to me and you? dont want to loose your touch, you have no idea, this hurts so much. I love you more than you'll ever know, the last thing I want is for you to go. Why is this the way it's gotta be? Wish you knew what this is doing to me. We lay side by side, never out of sight. Yet I don't remember the last time you held me tight. Miss the way you look at me, Miss the way it used to be. Look at me, what do you see? Why is it always me who, reaches out for your touch, you're right here and yet I miss you so much. I wish you knew what this is doing to me, what happened to what this used to be?


Details | Free verse | |

Side By Side

Oh it's a beautiful night!
The moon is full
And the stars are glowing
While the trees, with Earth's cool summer breeze
Start slowly blowing...

A campfire's flames are burning so bright
While a young couple holds each other tight
Warming their hearts, as these two lovers embrace
Traveling together, through time and space
Oh how tonight, with their love, they won't hide
Two lovers forever, Side By Side

Under the stars, both of them lay
They've been together, happy, all night and all day
Holding each other, a sweet caress
While green grass stains her pretty white dress
But no words, to each other, do they say
Happy just sitting Side By Side, knowing no other way

Gazing up at the stars
Breathing in the night
Them together with nature
A beautiful sight

All the years they've both struggled
And how they cried 
Has led them here tonight
It matters not now
As they'll lie here forever, Side By Side


Details | Free verse | |

The Drunken Pen

My pen remains drunken yet does not stumble
A functioning lifeaholic somehow agressively humble
Mixed drink of choice reality with a shot of enlightenment
Often it speaks through unslurred words it seeks out excitement
Exposure to these street games but it holds its composure
Still unsure it may be claimed so searching for closure
Ability to regret lost somewhere within the ink
It cant even object no matter how strong the drink
It has multiple epiphanies
Like instruments in a symphony
A rejoice that will not be muzzled
Choices that leave some puzzled
It goes beyond tunnel vision and exposes facades
It sees beyond our own dimension feeds on applause
My pen will never sober up I call it a lush
It patiently takes sips of life theres no need to rush.
 
Sha'ntez Jefferson


Details | Free verse | |

Could You Hear Me?

Ignorant questions you asked
While requesting in return intelligent answers

A pillow of tears I cried 
But only for awhile

Yet instead my heart was beating like a hammer beats a nail
And I was slowly decreasing like a paper being filed

Into shelter I would hide
Behind doors I cried
Over the  phone I denied
And  inside I died

As if hanging up in my face weren't enough
You left me no choice, but to fall asleep with your 
Thoughtless and careless words

The constant need to be in control of everything and everyone 
I closed my eyes to hold back those tears
Those tears that were trying so desperately to break through

But steadily they came running down my face
Like I was pouring water down a drain

But did you hear me
That language that I spoke

I was talking out loud to all the distant ears
I begged you to lower your voice
But you were to busy screaming at me to hear

You see I constantly found myself apologizing to you
Not believing that I had a right to my own opinion
And that I had a right to be loved and respected

I cursed at times, You kept me mad
And then most days you left me sad
But could you hear me
Could you take my point of view for once
After all that was said and done

My heart was aching and my soul was breaking
A little attention, Like a baby crying out for its mother
Is all I asked of you

Only to hear you speak your truth of belief
And then hang up in my face with a gasp of relief
As if my voice was killing you

When I defended myself , I never knew what I would face
Never knew how you'd react, But I was acting on faith
So I took that leap of faith, I didn't know what else to do
But thank God I found the courage to stand up to you

You made it seem like we were in some game
And half time conversations is all you could spare

Yet like a mother in the midst of labor
I bared all the pain, You couldn't bare

But I had to speak out 
My silence had to be broken

Words shattered at that moment
Shock encountered ones face
Something that never happened before

I would not pretend, That all was well
But you weren't listening to me, I was talking to myself

When I poured out my heart to you sincerely
You belittled me, cursed me, degraded and ignored me
Picked and devoured me like I was poultry

You took me through so much misery
You see this lonely faucet, Only runs so deep
But I found the strength to break free, finally

I wanted to be friends but I remember too clearly 
Just how it was in the past, When you couldn't hear me



Details | Free verse | |

The day I saw his devil eyes

The day i saw
this con man
was night
and wind
was snow
and rain
he was laughing
kicking for fun
white snow balls
and children skulls
angels like flies
were falling around...

It happened the day
I saw this con man
an unexploded grenade
was left on the board
killing instantly
the drunken pilot...

That day I thought
was the end of the world
that was taken over
from the foes of God...

I couldn't think straight
i was just a teen
stuck in the middle
of a sophomoric dream...



Details | Free verse | |

My Problem

Born to live,
Never wanting to die,
fearing death to its every limit,
as blue eyed death grabs my shoulders
and laughs with grim
and I fear death even more.
Car crashes, murders, greed and envy
takes me to a place where I can't find hope.
Laughs grow and brings tears to my eyes,
I hope off trains and dodge cars driving down freeways
taking time to sit down and look at my ways,
that push me left nor right.
Up nor down can I see the time tick away
I can't wait till I walk Jacob's ladder,
till a black demon tears me down,
and sins rip me open,
like a surgeon to a patient on a table,
Me, myself and I take time to see the wrongs in life.

Do I dare shake the vines from the dark green jungles
that tangle deep in my mind, body and soul?
I shake with vengence when time turns its face from me.
Time has no time for me
and she takes me by the hand and wastes my life away
with endless heartbreak and drunken whores and buffoons,
who care only about themselves.
The evil souls burn away,
and their blind eyes do not see what they do to others' hearts and souls.

I believe the strangeness of me is that I love too much,
and care too much to actually open my eyes and see what burns away
infront of my very eyes.
I only see what my heart wants to see
my romantic side kills me away,
while my physical being is falling apart with heartbreak and sorrow.
The strange part is,
love was never there to be found,
and the strangeness of me,
is that I love too much to see blue eyed death coming to get me.


Details | Free verse | |

Activity #3

I love how he acts all tough when he's around me,
But when he texts me, he calls me baby.
I love how she used to kiss me,
But now she's different.
I love how you used to mean everything,
But now you don't mean a thing.
I love how I used to care so much,
But now I don't care at all.
I love how people change,
But how they don't really change at all.


Details | Free verse | |

The Dreamer

Standing I gaze through various windows and doorways.
Serene landscapes within each continuously changing for us.
My body tenses and quivers. My eyes burn and forehead sweats.
Each causes my mind to strain and grasp for thought.
Before me various lights dance and cascade, no music is heard.
The colors and shades dance, causing focus never to be gained.
Emotions burst forth sometimes pain, other times only joy.
Walking, running, falling the paths I choose never cease.
Figures and shapes stand before me no faces ever seen.
No speech or sound is ever heard, yet always understood.
Arms stretched failing to grasp always yearning for an answer.
Confused, my thoughts search eagerly for its very meaning.
Forever knowing that an answer is completely unyielding.
I scream my breath released with wet lips quivering.
I feel shaken and the darkness once again overcomes.
Suddenly I'm startled, my head raised, eyes now wide open.
Realizing the room is empty the dream is gone.


Details | Free verse | |

Loss of innocence

Houses lost, friends go away…
Then others I’ve never known…
Some areas worse, some less…
But all have seen the scar…

Empty homes with vacant eyes…
The bank will own the loan…
Won’t let lose their precious prize…
Until they’ve made a score…

A few will pass thru many hands…
Most will wait with time…
In the end we all lose…
With tears in our eyes…

The only winner any where…
Is the bank that still holds on…
There was really no doubt on this…
As the monster gobbles more…

As still so much is lost by all...


Details | Free verse | |

I Burned A Picture Of You Today

                                                       
The highest regard I had given you,
my most esteemed relation.
Where trust and love would multiply,
between an intimate circle of two.

A confidence shredded and violated!
Love scattered in a cold wind.
Your deceptions rusted the chains.
We became indifferent enemies.

Erase our unpleasant episodes I cannot.
No drug could blot out this accumulation.
Medicine will not heal this hideous scar.
You have damaged my intimate humanity.

Time will deflect the blow to my person.
I will reap strength from perseverance.
May your darkened path be lighted!
The flames from your picture haunt me no longer.



Details | Free verse | |

hello I'm here

Hello I'm here 
less than 10 miles away
Your supposed too be my family 
but yet you won't give me the time of day
You pass by my house on the way to get gas or to the store 
but yet you won't take 5 minutes too come up and knock on my door

Hello I'm alive
You can pick up the phone and call 
I wait day and night but not one ring at all
Everyone changes their numbers but no one gives it to me
I'm guessing that is because it's how you all want it to be

Oh hi there I see all of everyones online post. 
I see one uncle now a grandfather of twins also, congrats about that
one cousin bragging about track, another being a sisterly brat
a aunt who is having troubles of her own and scraping just to get by
Everyone pushes me aside, black sheep I've always been not sure as of why

Hello family I thought I was supposed to have
You have all forgotten about me but I have not you
I have nothing to offer nor food hardly in my house 
but I will pray for each and every one of you and hope that you dreams come true


Details | Free verse | |

Snowflakes on Burnt Skin

Moonlit children & carved smiles
Making every step seem worthwhile
Running away with the stars
Dancing in the wind, not so far

Decaying lungs & broken dreams
A bleeding mouth, drowning screams
Black veins & pale skin
addiction help deep within

Raindrops on lacerated lips
Hidden behind the lunar eclipse
Silver tongue & crippled wings
A spectral thorn & razor blade sings

Toxic showers, its poisons kiss
Suffocated by fake happiness
Plastic lungs & taped confession
Tempted by disguised aggression

Interrupted & separated skies
Peaking through sugar coated lies
Black curtains & paper hearts
Last words spoken before falling apart

Artfully twisting these words into gold
Cries muted & pain that's never old
Breaking free from any sin
Lies snowflakes on burnt skin


Details | Free verse | |

Sexist Games

You complain of losing guys
To the transpiring battle of a pervert
When it seems you lost something besides your dignity 
And they're dangling out of your shirt

Sorry to be so blunt
But I'm sick of this game
Cursing guys for wandering eyes
When they're not always to blame

Now I know they're still some
Where being a pervert is all he'll know
But atleast we could separate the good and bad
When you decide to put on some clothes

And its not just perversity
That gives guys a bad rap
But dealing with their everyday struggles 
While putting up with all our drama and crap

How about when guys think about being the best
He is considered a pig and sexist
But if girls think of superiority 
She's defined stronger than royalty 

So nag as much as you want
Cause you're right, chivalry is dead
We murdered it!


Details | Free verse | |

Stranger

You saw me and your lips they did smile
Giving me strength to walk that extra mile
The fear of rejection, its shackles I broke
And mustering all my courage, to you I spoke

Your words melodious like the chiming of a bell
Your small talk and stories, and oh! The way you would tell
I listened absorbing every note, every sound
I knew it was heaven I had found

We were inseparable; we were soul mates you would say
Just thinking of you would make my day
And I felt I was in a dream, walking on air
Seeing the cool evening breeze sway your hair

But now you stand before me and my heart echoes my fears
With no strength to even wipe away my tears
You say you want to live in a world that does not have me
Away from even the faintest memory

You say if I’ve loved you, I should set you free
Let you fly, take wings to the sky that beckons thee
And now I am dead inside with emotions few
You seem to be someone, I never knew


Details | Free verse | |

Stranger

The flash of fear I feel
at passing darkened windows
or dim-lit mirrors
comes when I observe, reflected,
a stranger in my clothes
(or skin) and think:
is this the me
that other people see?
This ghostly image
that I know cannot be me?
Though its actions correspond
to those I take
in shaving, bathing,
wielding cans of aerosol,
surely I would recognize
this jaded, aging,
desensitized distraction
that the world
mistakes
for me.


Details | Free verse | |

The Spider and the Pear-A Fable on Being Satisfied with What You Have

The Spider and the Pear-A Fable on Being Satisfied With What You Have

On a glorious new morning a daddy long-legged spider set out upon a new 
journey searching high and low for a sweet to nibble. What she had in mind 
was a mango, but settled on a nectarine. Clear in the distance she spotted the 
tree that she would climb. She began her descent to reach the branch with the 
juicy piece of fruit; her journey to find refreshment and energy to build a 
masterful web. For what is a spider without a web. And how can a spider spin 
without her nectar? As she almost reached her destination she spotted a more 
appealing fruit. She saw it from way across the forest. There it was! A sight to 
behold! A single pear! So the daddy long-legged  turned her focus on another 
piece of fruit.

What is the true meaning of this story?
All spiders must build a web and all spiders must have some nectar. 
Keep your eyes on the number one piece of fruit and do not by distracted by 
another. For today’s journey is set in stone, BUT TOMORROW IS ALSO A BIG 
BEAUTIFUL PEAR!

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE AND NEVER LET ANYONE STEAL YOUR 
CROWN OF GLORY.

Written by Gwendolen Rix
8-1-14


Details | Free verse | |

Tell me America

       

Tell me America ,
Will you win this war ?
Will you bring cruelty to gallows ?


I see you daily here;
Left and right like pendulum,
Ups and downs like leaf-cutters,
Building army, building allies,
Pacing faster on trick’s ladder;
Still this monster is gargantuan,
Like phoenix looks its soul,
Like elixir its spirit.


Storms cruelty gathers daily
The brutish it breeds like ants,
Their fangs like shoemakers' hammers;
Making hell of every metre
That I am affraid America;
From which hedge will you strike,
From which side will you come ;
To bring brutality to its knee?


The day mother bought a hen
And let it loose for airing a bit
No sooner it met the brutish
Than the cruel scraped its head
With their  vampire’s aching-pecks.


On their feast of bear your fangs;
The green were shredded like young okra,
And the gray like potato chips;
Every foot wore sock of red ;
That an aged man sermonised :
Monster's world , young as the day is ,
Lions have made morsel of antelopes.


Who shall tame the lions ?
Who shall safe the necks of antelopes ?
Tell me America, will you win this war ?
Will you bring cruelty to gallows ? 
Will you tame the lions and cage the peckers ?
The lions are roaring everywhere and there, 
Their noise becoming louder and deafening
Worldly peace in monsters' cage , tell me,
Please be eloquent; will you win this war
Or we start building temples for terrors ?   


Details | Free verse | |

life now

the life that you have now 
is the one you will cry over when you are removed from it 
it happens that many lives are taken 
away from the now and when we lived 
the can’t grow fast enough is bicycle hard to catch up to 
crispy in leaves, and, bare under the bark


Details | Free verse | |

White Noise Mind

Unfolding in the dark hours of the night
Antipathies leak from the mind of the youth 
Sleep has left the trembling body
The brain pending in the antique tempos of lives inexpressible
They are noises, vices, barreling in the depths of awareness
Neither recognized nor void of remembrance, they converse
The various volumes crescendo to high peaks, then subside
The youth buries her head into the gentleness of her cushion
She can’t make out who they are
The disembodied voices grow faint, realizing their effect
As the static sets in and wails a constant A flat
And the youth closes her deep-set eyes
No one else can hear it
She never remembers them fully
Till the night fiddles its way inside her heart
Caressing the crude conversations
Trying to listen and love them,
She can only make out a few arbitrary words
The rest of the noise is tempered, blurred, wrestled, and meddled
She longs for a deep, peaceful slumber
But the aching of climbing clamors of numbers
Elevates towards infinity in the wasteland of her thoughts
These thoughts are not hers!
Whose are they?
They are trapped in a cruel electrifying box for all time
And somehow their conversations are still alive
Somehow in this weakened mind
They powerfully thrive


Details | Free verse | |

Schizophrenia

Tethers and chains attached to my brain
Never have I been so aware of…
Lack of control
Gnashing and gnawing on shriveled remains
Constantly aware of…
Misplacing my soul
Shrouded and veiled to cover the stains
Self consciously aware of…
Failed attempts to contain and conjole
Denying and slighting all of the pain
Seldom aware of…
Evolution into characters and roles
Clawing and clamoring for some refrain
Deliriously unaware of…
My fragile mind’s mechanisms of control
Creating and substituting; personas to gain
Self awareness…
Gone; what once was whole
Now cleft in twain


Details | Free verse | |

untitled

I’m looking for a way out
Pulling, thrashing at nothing
I’m trapped in a glass house
Looking for something
I’m looking around me
But I don’t see a thing
I’m crying no noise
I’m trying, no choice
I want to do good
I want to have a voice
In the stories I’ve read
Happy endings are true
In the world that is mine
Happy endings are blue
The pain that I feel is real
Unlike those who refuse to feel


Details | Free verse | |

ONE WAY

The sun is lost to stardust
Troubled mind at play
Early morning dark hours
Make it a long, long day

Thoughts play on a seesaw
Swings on oiled chains
Merry-go-round is coming up
Heads goes round the game

Precious sleep evades me
Monkey mind the way
I seek for understanding
Words from another day

The hint of things amiss now
And all is not the same
No words that pierce the darkness
Feelings guide the train

Don’t want to be a fool here
I’ve done that one before
I see the den door open
A rug lays on the floor

I’m going to lie down now
To find a mind of peace
Put to rest these feelings
I walk a one way street. 


Details | Free verse | |

Plastic Gestures

The trash has been removed by wind and truck, by hands much smaller and, hearts much larger than his. The twinkling lights no longer shine on the tree or in my eyes. Scourer of malls, hunter of treasures magpie to the crownless king, reveling in his “just” deserts? The cold, meaningless, plastic gesture of his disregard lay under the barren Xmas tree, barren, as his love for me. His treasurers piled high, exquisitely dripping with each memorized desire, truffles melting on his thoughtless tongue, scrapbook memories litter the pointless horizon. Soon, he would attempt to hurl three decades of subservient gestures out, out like the small flame of love left, in the empty space which was my heart.


Details | Free verse | |

Racing Thoughts

Listen …. Hear that?
Quiet
I’m all alone. No one here
(I hope she’s ok) Now I can write
Computer hum, traffic noise
	Hear that
Radio talking to me and
Selling me
(I hope she’s ok)
Something …
	Computer’s humming
And the Red Sox lost again
(Carry on my wayward son…)
She wants me to add her as a friend
No way! (I hope she’s ok)
Too ugly!
(Lay your weary head to rest…)
What’s this about the Patriots?
(I hope she’s ok) I missed it
(Once I rose above the noise and confusion)
(Please let it be easy for her!!!!)
Wow, it’s quiet around here
(Just to get a glimpse behind this illusion….)
Nice and quiet here today
What the hell was I doing?
(I hope she’s ok)


Details | Free verse | |

because of who I am

Drastically insignificant is how I feel 
Not liked because of who I am
Not for being mean or nasty 
But because this is who I am
I always press my luck and let a person get to know me for who I am
I must be undesirable for so many acquaintances to go cold and dry
But my dog loves me and I love him
Numbness has overcome me however I choose to write 
I choose to keep a stable mind and not fold under pressure
You are my people!
We are each other!
Yet I am of no significance to you
I do sincerely care for you
A world free of friction and filled with generosity is what I dream of 
Not trying to fuss – 
Just venting 


Details | Free verse | |

Scam of the Con Man

Who hasn’t heard of the Nigerian Letter or the Australian Lottery won?
So what about you’re kids in college… what for them is going on?

My son found a job posted on the University’s Nursing jobs bulletin Board.
Apparently several students applied to take care of an old man coming into town.
They were each approved separately, and then sent a check…
Plus a list of nursing supplies and a wheel chair they had to pay for and pick up.
Apparently, the place to work with had already been set up.
Once everything was paid for, they were ready for the job.

Instead all they got was their accounts cleaned out.
And the Nursing supplies were another part of the scam, my dear.
In the end the money they had was gone with everything saved from the student loans.

Now the problem was made and you know what? Guess who didn’t care?
The police, University, and bank said it happens all the time.
Of course they turned away saying it wasn’t their concern.
The bank told my son he owed $3400 more, even through he was the victim of the fraud.
The Banks fraud department yawned and said they wouldn’t look into what was done.
In fact, they were sending his accounts into collections to attack him even more.

Slough it off, and attack the victim, and of course none of them would do their work.
Mail fraud, money fraud, and con men involved… across state lines meant nothing at all.
Attacking the victim is not where the Banks, police, and university belong.
So let me tell you The States’ Attorney General is the next on the list.
The Attorney General and the Federal Government is where to go, my friend.
Don’t give up on the internet, there are help groups there, that abound.
Tell your children of the game… to keep them far away.

The bank wants my son’s next student loan money for collections on the debt…
And he will have to work full time at minimum wage to survive.
You might say everything at the moment… is truly upside down.
But we will fight unendingly… to straighten everyone out…

What a Christmas job deal breaker… and what a way to find out…


Details | Free verse | |

Our Love

Our Love (written in the style of spoken word)

My world eclipsed itself in the shadow of your moon
In the fading of your breath, the gasp of your final death
blacked out to me was the image of your last re-birth
Visions of your glory blind to my infantile sight
I cried out to God "take me lord, for to take my light
is to leave me unto darkness."

Crippled and shamed I crawled to my side
and wept to feel the fingers of your memory
sweep my hair from my cheek
As a child I raged that all he left of you for me
was the ghost of a life losing vitality in time
The world was numb but for the pain
and I rolled in the evanescence of it
wrapped like a proud shawl of mourning
that in this right I would sacrifice
and pay dignitary to what I failed you in
If I could have died, I would have born your stripes
I would have carried your cross
and welcomed the nails home
that all I could have of you 
was the agony
of your leaving...

My Mother I felt your tears too
as I felt in them in your fading
I felt the trails of your sorrow 
as you wept for your baby
Just as your comforts were
love and despair in one
 to me
(for how could I know your life lived in me)
	your regrets were mine misery 
then my comprehension of a Mothers love was foriegn.
Your presence drove me mad
Your death erased my dreams
and your life fed my memories.

Some where the blackness of years
numbned-greyed and I breathed
Some where in a moment I could not name
your presence gave me stregnth as I accepted
the world I now lived

But the majic of the moon faded, 
the faith you gave me staled
the world spun because God commanded
but my heart beat because you breathed it

God is a jealous God, I whispered
Is my loss my punishment for loveing her the more?
The tears trickled to moisture and days cycled into years
and I listened to your whisper, feather kisses
tucking me to sleep, some where in the depths
of the self I did not know, you loved, you prayed

You wept for my loss and yours, but you loved
you held me at night when I longed for you
you cheered for my each new step
and when I first held my son I heard in my  heart your first words to me
" My baby, My Baby' 
so then I understood and gave them to him

In learning this new love of my life I began to understand
not your death, but your life, your love, and why you still 
hold me and miss me as I miss you
but I hear you, I hear him
and I see my son I thank you both


Details | Free verse | |

on being called a drug addict

the wheels just thumped
a jazz beat

(and it woke me

from sleep- with my Lunch
Poems) that made me think
I was somewhere else
like the drug-
                   stores
that all look	    the same
                   inside

only nothing like that nausea.

(not the sweat I get
from the stale air-
conditioning

not that prefab 
disorient
from offwhite
prefab aisles
that all twist 
in the same direction, all
born in 
weak perfection).

the startling rhythm displaced
me;

its syncopated thump
contused me
and left these little ugly rainbows
on my arms

and that tattoo really goes
at the start from each station
but here 
               the cadence has slowed
(like the wagon wheels in an old movie
that spin the wrong way)

as we move backward it sounds more like a train,
more humane.
The wheels catch their groove and the pace relaxes
the bumps disappear - 
it sounds more like a train.


Details | Free verse | |

Life Laughs Tragedy My Way

I walk without moving,
  Across a world I can’t see,
    As life laughs tragedy at me.
Laughter amidst the progress of man.
  Languish against the prowess of man.
    Malicious laughter raising "round-robin".
      May I ask their intent?
        Inquire of their bent?
          My destruction?
            Pure amusement?
              Self defense?
What's your inspiration?
  We watch your work and wonder.
What's your constant notion?
  We walk the world. We wander.
You've lost me,
  You've tossed me
    To the dark, deadly depths.
      You hailed me.
        You failed me.
           No reprise, no rest.
Solitary.
  I have succumbed to seclusion.
    Beat down.
      Feeling the dry ground.
        Fearing the melodic sound:
          My desperate breathing,
            My own heart beating.
              Yet, even my fears could not imagine the depth of loneliness.
Every morsel has no flavor.
  Every bite of this life is bland.
    Though I strive to savor,
      I cannot help but spit-out your offering of sand.
For the sake of being morbid
  For the hope of seeming hopeless
    I crawl through the dirt of graves
      With astounding display of drama in the dragging of my legs.
        Announcing the refusal of my remaining days.
          A tantrum of sorts.
            Played-out in the dust.
              With Life and Death looking on in disgust.


Details | Free verse | |

I Have The Evil of You

I have the evil of you
Caught in my hands, entangled
Like the arabesques of Eden's vines
Just like paradise, but why should shame remain
Singeing like immolation of Peter's Inferno
These reddish-purple chains convolute myself
as the grapples shoot out from the clouds
both below, above me
The self-lovelust propelling 
You did this - these plagues
You drag me down - to your cage
Cadaver Vampire - I am your slave



Details | Free verse | |

Moshe

A long time ago one kid would shower snowballs up on us his name was Moshe neighbour's ewe lamb, once he drowned my family's cat after pricking it all over with his mother's tailor needle. He didn't apologise didn't look back. He'd laugh when I would kiss you beneath the willow right on your reddish cheek sort of a ripe midsummer's fruit when our dry lips hadn't already been wading through the childhood to the dewy land. And Moshe was working together with his father veterinarian - latex gloves, scissors tubing, tents, patching up the gashes for curs puttin'em to sleep due to the rabies, the birds would withdraw from the sky when Moshe would spend his night-time on a loft sewing up the tails of the mice after tearing them off without any prayer, Lord, without a touch. Moshe had a scar below his eye he was born marked, genes, my dear, people saying that's a gene of scalpel and needle, and it's uncertain what they'd been doing with our parents's cats in the childhood. I met him at abandoned temple recently, Moshe, he was meshed into the bindweeds fogged from eternal shade demented from birdsongs wale-marked by God, or by Lucifer, or perhaps by me I swear I can't remember it's a long time we are seeking ourselves for each other at this temple you never know there's a chance we are simply insane.


Details | Free verse | |

Let Me Rest

As I lie here
a thousand ugly faces fill my mind,
haunting,
taunting,
screaming my name.
Confusion mingles panic
as I strive to understand
all these thoughts and emotions
whirling in my head.
Going round in circles
I never reach the end,
and as I close my eyes,
they scream my name again.


Details | Free verse | |

CONFUSION

                            A MOMENT OF RACING THOUGHTS

   In my world of confusion,I am stuck in a deep hole
of sadness.I have so much to be happy for yet my
mind spirals downward constantly.My sadness over
comes my ability to enjoy the many good things that
I have.Depression is a silent killer that will haunt you.
Some people just don't understand.My heart goes out
to others but has no feeling for myself.My thoughts 
and feelings are said through my words.Sometimes
anger steps in.I am often misunderstood and unable
to accept kindness from others.I have so much love
to give and expect none in return.As long as I am
alive I will do my best to help someone in need.
There is one question that no one will ever have an
answer for.What is normal?In this world of confusion,
I will always be stuck in a deep hole of sadness.

                                                       COLLEEN MARIE BONO

                                                           APRIL,16 2013


Details | Free verse | |

The Truth is Better Left Untold

To say goodbye to painful,
I'd rather just walk away.
Turn my back on love and hope,
Then see those blue eyes
Pierce my soul.
I guess the truth is
Better left untold.


Details | Free verse | |

What is life

What is life?
is it love or is it 
pain all I know is 
both go hand and hand
maybe life is
just misery with a couple 
happy short lived times 
in between times of
self loathing and hatred
as the years have past
i've come to figure one 
thing and that thing is
life keeps going on 
whatever it is


Details | Free verse | |

Believe It or Not

Believe it or not

He swore by the day he sighted the earth
This step he took 
Was not aimed at piercing anyone
But to show his appreciation
At exactly the time (or on time)

Had he known the blessed wouldn't be pleased
With this gesture
He would have 
Hands down
And waved for naught

'What are my mistakes'
He asked
Cos his heart is mixed

This mind is now full with mix feelings

The memory of strange letters that gloomed at his eyes

Believe it or not
He had never wish for anything

If nothing will make him live a simple life
And meet his Creator in good shape
Then he will be satisfied with that hope
Than a hope of something 
Where he wishes for nothing

A.O


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Morals

A princess in a ballroom
Is every girls dream
Playing it over in our heads, 
detailing the scene
A prince at our side
Determined to swoon 
Confessing your the most perfect 
one in the room
This is what's expected 
Until we grow up
And find our dream has decided to 
disrupt
Decided to change course
Causing more ache
Now we can't breathe without being 
plunged with a stake
Or being rejected
Our only other option
Forsaking the world or choosing 
adaption
Most choose the latter
Loosing there virtue
And cling instead on what guys 
believe are true

Like "You're  bangable that's for 
sure
But certainly not what I would date
For girls are nothing more than 
meat
An appetizer on our plate"

And instead of disagreeing with their 
fact
Setting out to prove it false
We believe these lies and comprise
Decide to be used up, then tossed
But at what cost?
Is it really so wrong?
Just following the pattern of 
american love songs
Craving to feel loved from this pitiful 
world
Just to follow and become an 
ordinary teenage girl

Now feeling alive and fresh in my 
skin
Not focused on how guilty I feel 
within
Could it really be sin?
But its so fun
Pursuing the guy till you find out 
you won
Until the job is done
And you watch him leave
Now aware you stitched your heart 
on your sleeve
And he's tore it off
Threw it in the dust
Tell me world, is this pain a must
Can it be fixed?
No it's too late
Might as give myself to the next 
heartbreak
Now i'm stuck in the cycle
Caught in the mold
But too scared to step out, not 
daring to be bold
Now my heart is cold
Thy soul is stone
Going from guy to guy yet feeling 
alone

Following the lie
This is the only type I catch
Besides, there's no such thing as a 
God destined match
Simple friend with benefits 
But no one benefits
Following the status quo
Just tell him no!


Details | Free verse | |

A Hospital Stay - Part VI

                                                                   6.

                                                   Miracles and Miseries

The world resolved itself back into focus
As I lay amid the swarm of monitors
Still gulping the sword that brought me breath.

The worst now past
Many small miseries remained,
Chief among them the continuing mystery
Of my flooded, struggling lungs.

Finally I breathe well enough for the sword to be removed,
But the tests go on and on
The birth of each day bearing forth
Its own fresh indignity.

They give up guessing and haul me down again
To be opened anew and read for signs.

On the day this is done
The invisible agents of death outside
Decide to mock their pursuers
By leaving a tarot card at that day's shooting site.

They chose the Death card, of course
Revealing how little those 
Who choose to play God games really know
About the mystical.

Dreaming of omnipotence through dealing death
The unseen assassins miss their own meaning;
For this card signals change, the ending of present things.
They have unwittingly declared their game will soon be over,
Predicting their own demise.

Meanwhile the doctors make their own spread of me
And come up blank again.

     Once more I return to I.C.U.,
     Held together with staples.

     Once more the little agonies ensue:
     The sitting, the turning, the testing.

By night they come for my blood.
By day they come for  tests.
Always, in the background, the quiet moanings
Of we, the damned, condemned to medical Limbo
Roll on with the blind passage of hours and days.

     The English nurse comes, all brightness and bubble
     To heave my fragile self about;
     She's a welcome break in the monotony
     As my sustainers come and go.

Again the busy bedside conferences
And again the final admission
That all their probings have led down blind alleys.

A last-ditch effort is finally proposed:
Direct drainage of the drowning lungs.
To them this seems as a grasping at straws,
But to me it seems the one sensible solution,
And I look forward to it eagerly.
My inner mantra of "This too shall pass"
Is wearing thin.

Like a Christian martyr of old,
They pierce my back with their lance,
And the sea within that is drowning me
Finds its way out.

As the noxious waters within rush out,
Air surges into my grateful lungs.
From this moment, recovery becomes the new reality.

As I recover,
Indiscretion leads to capture 
Of the unseen terrormakers.

To the astonishment of all, 
They prove to be a dignified looking black man
And his enthralled protege' -
No prior convictions, no history of trouble 
Attached to them at all.

This is how our modern Destroyers come calling.
Well dressed, well spoken models of propriety.


Details | Free verse | |

The Purpose of Silence

Silence—so embraceable are you!
It can neither sting nor soothe
It can neither be a poison or balm
It cannot be a curse or psalm
Cannot harm nor heal
Cannot numb or feel
It be only what our minds make of it
It be only what your imagination sculpts
Only what we assume
Only what we accept as true
All that have breath may utter lies
But silence rings no truth or false
No peace, no war
No clean, no gore. .  .

The purpose of silence, and other things too,
Is only what are minds make of it
What we believe of it
This be the purpose of Silence—it’s true
So what is the purpose
Of me, of he—of you?


Details | Free verse | |

Dear Dad

Dear Dad 				
Why don’t you love me? 
The small brown eyed girl asked her father as he beat her at night,
 then with a smile in the morning he’d scoop her up in his arms to play.
Why don’t you love me? 
The bigger brown eyed girl asked her father as he walked out and
never came back.
Why don’t you love me? 
The young brown eyed girl asked her boyfriend of two years,
As he walked out the same door her father did eight years before.
Never to return.
Why didn’t you love me?
The older brown eyed girl asked her father at his funeral.
As she leaned over the edge of his casket and kissed him gently on the forehead,
Tears running down her cheeks.
Why couldn’t you love me? 
The oldest brown eyed girl asked as she lays Jasmine’s and roses
On her father’s grave.
Only a row down from her old boyfriend’s,
With love that never dies.
And her question is answered in the wind, 
As the answer is whispered in her heart.
How could you love me?
If you couldn’t love yourself?


Details | Free verse | |

Freakazoid

There's a bird in my head 
and it's freaking me out
because it won't stop chirping.

All I can envision 
are plastic dolls 
smoking cigarettes in the panic room
and talking about boys
The bird keeps chirping.
I'm trying to read 
this guy's suicide note
but it's written in ransom note effect
so I'm a little confused.
The bird keeps chirping.
This paper thin world
keeps slicing my skin
with stinging swipes
from the razor rims of its paper thin sheets
The bird keeps chirping.
Blood rains in a bottomless drip
like I'm a hemophiliac 
but I'm not
or am I?
The bird keeps chirping.
I'm paralyzed 
like a tree rooted into the Earth
amidst a gust of wind
my human arms flail in hysteria
but the rest of me 
is a mannequin.
The bird keeps chirping.
The world is fuzzy
like a limb that has slipped into slumber
The bird keeps chirping.
static feedback
is all that's left
it's the only thing that remains real
and I can't see straight within the inert realm
The bird keeps chirping.
There's a vice grip 
locked around my throbbing temples
as cold as steel's surface
The bird keeps chirping.
A single click 
rose from out of nowhere
and somehow broke through the noise 
but still
The bird keeps chirping.
Death's edge
feels like it's an inch beyond my stagnant feet
The bird keeps chirping.
The world disintegrates 
as fast as a scorching hot bullet 
cutting through a cardboard target
cutting through skin
cutting through bone.
cutting through life.
The bird stops chirping.  




Details | Free verse | |

Dancing with Fools

When someone steals from a store, and strong arms the owner…
When he walks down the middle of the street, daring others to stop him.
When he wants to stop traffic by blocking the streets… he is a fool.
He’s a Bully and Thug, those who follow him are: nothing but fools.

When others follow him and destroy a community, they are thugs.
They are nothing but criminals, marking and claiming their territory.
When the police stand by allowing them to loot, and burn stores…
Remember: If you dance with fools, be careful, you don’t become one.

Thugs destroy communities, to give them free reign, makes you a fool.
Letting the storeowners lose every thing… makes the police fools.
Watching them destroy more stores and to walk away with alcohol…
Letting them celebrate, burn, and loot, all night long, then police are fools.

To cordon them off is not enough, put them where they belong… in jail.
Remember: Dance with fools, and be careful, you do not become one.
Those stores keep your community alive; their taxes pay police salaries.
Those stores feed families… The good people will quickly leave.

When the community is an empty shell… Then who are the fools?


Details | Free verse | |

Why Stay

What do you do when your dreams bore you
And tomorrow is just another today
The world looks like multiple shades of gray
And I didn't even want to live through today

What do you do when you've lost all hope
Lost and done with having no fun
Not even trying to cope
There's no reason for me to stay
I'm not even ready for today


Details | Free verse | |

After the dust settles

See in south africa, we  are 
diverse like very tree branches 
we oh so admire.
You have your different races 
and in them people divide 
themselves
Through status , language, 
religion and money. But the 
greatest gap is through black 
communities, which I am a part 
of.

It brought tears to my eyes to 
witness 
the Black bothers oppress one 
other cause one thinks their 
language is a superior to the 
other.We should have learnt a 
lesson from the Apartheid, one  
would think.

I sometimes wonder when 
Nelson Mandela invisioned a 
beter world was it anything like 
the one we live in today?.
Yes, i am glad that I,a black 
man, have oppotunies that I 
procure based on my hard work 
and not my skin colour.
But is it too much to ask for 
people direct positive energey to 
one another.

At the end of the day I ask 
myself 
are we an anger driven nation, 
now that apartheid is gone, do 
we 
turn against each other?


Details | Free verse | |

Finally Forever Done

I’m on ground, while you’re in the clouds,
You’re in the then; I’m in the here and now.

How come our channels can’t get a signal?
But I still feel the pull of your chords.
Are you getting bored? 

Tired of me complaining and I’m tired of waiting!
For the things, that should come naturally, like trust, love, respect,and intimacy.
I’m afraid but prepared indefinitely. 

I know my new energy will bring forth something that’s healthy.
God’s already secured my wealth and my safety.
I’m finally, forever done.


Details | Free verse | |

the world today

Is this all life has to offer 
I always thought that there 
might be an issue with me
but this world is ass backwards 
I don't understand the yolo 
what happened to family values 
are we all suppose to be a brainless 
boner my muscles aren't bigger 
then my IQ and I treat everyone with 
respect as long as they deserve it
I feel my generation is the last with 
any morals this is why this world 
is going straight to hell


Details | Free verse | |

why daddy

dad you were my hero!
the one i wanted to be just like.
everything i did was to make you proud...
you walked out on us...
i know i wasnt a perfect child...
i just wanted to feel love from you

mom always told me that you would be there for me
you were until i disappointed you...
i thought parents were supposed love their children no matter what...
you didnt do that
 you always put me down 
told me i was such a shame to the family

now that i have grown up
i relieze life is better with out you in it...
and i no longer wanna be just like you
i could never walk out on my kid
you sicken me...
how could you give up the child that you gave your name to...
i understand you have other kids
but to just give up and not have anything to do with one of them
and to not let that kid know his siblings....
i could never do that 
no matter how much my kid disappointed me...

i found my hero...
he stepped up even tho he didnt have to...
he treated me like his own...
he was there when i needed a daddy and you werent there...
he was there at my worst....
and he is there at my best...
he will be my best man when i get married...
my kids will know him as grandpa...
they will never know you 
cause i cant risk you hurting my kids
the way you hurt me...

the thing that gets me the most is....
how you made it look so easy
did you even think about the lil boy
who carries your name and...
has your blood running in his veins

i dont think you did...
and if you did you are
a heartless piece of crap

even after all you have done to me...
physical, emotional, and mental abuse...
i forgive you...
not for you but for me so i can move on with me life


Details | Free verse | |

death

Time fell fast 
Things became hard
Worries were vast
Lives begain scared

Hopes endlessly hidden
All things seemed forbidden
Days filled with darkness
Lives consumed and left sparkless

Awaiting the doom
Sitting only in gloom
Heaven wept
No souls were kept


Details | Free verse | |

Image

Stained mirror reflect alien entity, both nothing and together me. Contextual 
dysfunctionality.


Details | Free verse | |

Why You Mouse

Oh my goodness!
Are you really a mouse?
So why don’t you explore
My house
Where are your four feet?
To run fast through street
You don’t even take a stride
Only keep on sitting
By my computer’s side
How strange!
You don’t have any hole
And don’t hide away
To see a cat’s goal
You neither cut my clothes
Nor break any bowl
How simple your life is!
For you never cause
During silent night’s bliss
How can I say?
You a mouse anyway
But wait
Let me think and say
You cut a lot 
In a document’s plot
You have a tail so long
That enters into
A hole called slot
Although your role 
Have changed over all
For you are in a modern age
Of computer’s craze
You can enter
Anywhere in a computer
You can cut you can role
You can hide without a hole
You can run you can pause
This why
You are a mouse


Details | Free verse | |

Love Underestimated

I love you, you love me
And that’s what it means to
Be free .

She loves him, he loves
Another him and that’s what
It means to be too good looking.

He loves her but isn’t sure
If she loves him back and this
Is what it means to be sitting
On a toilet seat.

He breaks up and then gets back
She cheats again and loses his
Trust, but she still loves him
So she comes back hoping he’ll
Take her back, only this time he
Cheats on her; so here it goes again-
She loves him but cheats on him,
He loves her only to get back at
Her and this is what it means
To solve trigonometry


Details | Free verse | |

Nightmare in Wonderland

Swirling like an exhale from a cigarette that burns
Watching from a distance as the world mundanely turns
Everyday the same routine, a joyless empty place
You wonder when you look at her why indifference paints her face
A memory is hollow like a bitter broken heart
Nothing matters anymore as it all falls apart
Another indie song circles ‘round on repeat
A solemn understanding transfers though the beat
Melancholy strings plucked on acoustic guitars
How does the world feel so small but leave you so far
Out upon the edges where sanity knows its bounds
Would you plummet off the edge if nobody was around?
Without reciprocation we float lifeless in this world
Nothing feels; nothing bleeds from this lachrymose girl
Another day, another chance to see that things set right
One more minute, one more hour until the close of night
Lying awake in bed with eyes tightly closed
When the demons of sleep depart, she’ll never know
Kaleidoscope images and soundless words
Twist and wind into silent thoughts she’s heard
Dreams consume from head to toe
Encapsulate subconscious things she doesn’t know
Vivid nightmares, ghoulish scenes create within the walls
Like Alice in her Wonderland, too much time to fall
But with a sudden jaunt this girl will come to rise
She will stare at her reflection and see nothing in her eyes
No one will ever notice the things they’ll never see
Hidden, caged and bound her secrets to captivity
No pain, no sorrow, not a trace of fear
Not anger or regret could be found here
Each reinforcement, skillfully adjusted every morn
Straightened at the corners and sutured to the norm
“This is your life,” she says, “It owes you not a thing.
Too bad perfection isn’t as perfect as it seems.”


Details | Free verse | |

Just One More Time ....Part 2

I pulled the handle,  Just playing for fun, 
But soon became fixated on the excitement it brung
Little did I know, It was the beginning of the end
My addictive passion was playing to win
The flashing lights and arousing sounds
Winning or losing I was completely bound
Amongst myself and the other strays
Just one more time became a common phrase
My wallet grew empty, My bank account cleaned
Temptation had taken it's toll on me
I was Late for work, And some days I called off
I had written bad checks, Just to cover up my loss
No money for the rent, bills or for food
Everything was gone, Gone far too soon
I some how found the strength to get up and leave
But not before I had lost, Lost everything
Now I am left with a half empty tank, No food at home
And no money in the bank
Driving down the freeway, With many thoughts in mind
What kind of person would do this, What kind of person am I
Tears are streaming down my face, Why do I keep making the same mistake
One day my Mom discovered what I'd been hiding inside
When it came time to buy groceries and my pocketbook was dry
I cried my heart out and pleaded for help
She gave me her love, warmth and support
We worked through the motions, I cried so many tears
Because every time I turned around, The urges reappeared
I was so weak, So she offered her strength
She became the payee, Of the bills and the rent
I gave over my money, Each paycheck I earned
And chucked it all up to a hard lesson learned
It's been a few years, Since I've lived in that life
I'm thankful to God, For a Mother so wise
So loving and gentle, Strong and so true
She's part of the reason, I started OVER brand new
The other reason I chose for turning over a new leaf
I realized nothing was more important, Than my daughter who needed me 






It took my Mom giving me so much inspiration and support-Loving me and guiding me, showing
me what I was doing, and me feeling the aftermath of needing necessities and my daughter
wanting me to take her places and buy her things and I was broke because I had gambled it
all away- Harsh reality- I couldn't bare to see the disappointment in her eyes once
more-she is my whole world, I wanted to do so much for her.I couldn't when I was weak-but
little by little I found strength..I realized my worth-We all make mistakes but I have
learned from mine. It wasn't easy but besides my daughter and my mom-The most amazing
support I have is My Lord Jesus Christ- I am stronger now more than I ever was-Now my
daughter is spoiled!


Details | Free verse | |

Feminazi

What in hell is a feminazi?
I consider myself to be an open minded person
willing to learn new and modern things,
but by just the sound of this word
tells me it has a hate filled meaning
which I for one have no need or desire to know.
I have one question: Can’t we all just get along?
I guess the answer to that question is: Hell No!


Details | Free verse | |

The Little Brown Moth and Me

wings beating frantically
against the shower window,
wasting an entire existence
denied by an invisible wall



Details | Free verse | |

Betwixt Bars

Can you feel?

Can you feel the tremor?
That rocks your world
That shakes the cage
Like a beast trapped outside
A beast raging against the bars
It lifts, it throws, it rages
Can you feel it?

And in the aftermath,
You can hear the cooing, cajoling
Of puppeteers laying strings before your bars
And they croon and cluck like fretting hens
Petting your bars and calling for you
to reach out and take these strings
Tie them where they cannot reach
Deep within, where no one else goes
And let these good people in,
They preen and you shake your head
Seeing the gleam in their eyes
Oh so like the ape’s
Cooing, cajoling... cawing
And oh, how you can feel it...

But I’m here so hold on
I’ll sit by your bars,
I’ll sit by the door
right beneath that lock that turns from within
And I won’t rage, or set the siren’s call upon you
I’ll sit by your bars, and keep you company
My friend;

But Cold bars let through a breeze friend...
Your sharp breath is not secreted away
And with every breath you take
Your lungs are profaned
And you cannot hide
Behind bars

You cannot hide

From My voice, or my presence, or my eyes
My eyes that see too clear
And you cannot hide from what I see
What you can feel
Pressing in, from us all
So just let us in
My friend,
Let us in, for we will not be kept out
Life does not surrender, life does not hold back
Life seeps through
Every crack,
And be sure, there are cracks everywhere
Where there are breaths to be shared, there are bars to let them through,
And you feel it don’t you?
That which you see deep in my eyes
You feel it
That feeling so clearly reflected
When I look into your soul
That fear alive in my eyes
That rages within you,

But don’t fear a battle you have lost
Do not fear the day you must face the world
The world, friend, has never
Turned its face from you
And the rest of us:
Well we are not so brave
We are not iron bars moulded to flesh
That fear you see is real
And it is ours all
But we cannot hide
From what burns within
And I will not die
Hiding from life
And I will not cower when I tremble inside
I will not rest in a cage when I am tired
And I, friend, I am so tired
Of living between bars.


Details | Free verse | |

Beyond The Sun

Of 2000 years ago Beyond The Sun
There once was a Prophetic Son
With a Mother of Wisdom
The Matriach of Sublime
She shows the way in time
 
There's a locked cage in my heart
And it's tearing me apart
Sophia you hold The Key
Why don't you open if for me
 
Beyond The Sun
A Dove, a Flame (Beyond The Sun)
Regina Sapientia is Here (Beyond The Sun)
 
Beyond The Sun
A Dove, a Flame (Beyond The Sun)
Regina Sapientia is Here (Beyond The Sun)
 
There's a locked cage in my heart
And it's tearing me apart
Sophia you hold The Key
Why don't you open if for me
 
Beyond The Sun
A Dove, a Flame (Beyond The Sun)
Regina Sapientia is Here (Beyond The Sun)
 
Beyond The Sun
A Dove, a Flame (Beyond The Sun)
Regina Sapientia is Here (Beyond The Sun)


Details | Free verse | |

walk inside me

You taste like salted chocolate
That's a bitter sweet truth
I taste like nothing
Losing the scent of my youth.
You are walking on water
Miraculously you never sink
I am walking on egg shells
Feet bloody, mind filling to the brink.

Do I know you miss shadow of a ghost?
You don't know me and neither do most
I am your monster in the closet
The spider in your bed
I am sickness creeping in your head
Don't open the doors now
I promise it's too late
In every light found, darknes is the mate. 

I am trapped in looking glass
Stuck looking at myself
If these eyes could burn holes
I and me would melt.
Old bones never rattle
But old souls never stop
Just don't open the doors now
I promise it's too late
In every light found, darkness is the mate


Details | Free verse | |

WRONGFUL INCARCERATION WITHOUT LOSS OF DETERMINATION

I did'nt deserve to watch my mom break down over nerves
I did'nt deserve for nightly my dads sleep to be disturbed
I did'nt deserve for life to be the judge and jury's words
I did'nt deserve prison on this plate that I've been served

I never thought My kids would see me through this plated glass
I never thought my time would seep bye like a hourglass
I never thought I'd cry like I'd been hit with some teargas
I never thought I'd be the one the world would just bypass

I should have been forgiven but my innocense was shamed
I should have started running but I wasnt to be blamed
I should have saw it coming how could I be so defamed
I should have trusted no one but now I just sit here framed

I will not lose my sanity In the Lord I'll trust
I will not be a casualty to this I must adjust
I will not scorn humanity but for their air I lust
I will not let this tragedy give me a stone like crust.

Sha'ntez Jefferson
10/20/12


Details | Free verse | |

The Whole Picture

We should not accuse all black people
We should not accuse all white people
We should not accuse all those in between the two colors
Of/for all big problems of black or white or those in between
Same perspective to/for countries, states, and governments
Same perspective to/for Buddhist, Christians, Hindus, Muslims or others  
We should not generalize and spread the lies
We should not overestimate nor underestimate 
We writers and speakers should specify the doer/s
Or keep our lips closed, not to add more to it
We had enough!
We should see the whole picture


Details | Free verse | |

Heavenly interred

Thoughts etched in obsidian, 
Wisps of color, 
Like a jade curved smith, 
To hew out crevices of the wast'd rock, 
Wind washed and sand clothed,
Pulsating taking solitude, 
With angels milling about, 
Deceptive in their demeanor, 
Like new born locusts, 
Death is taken captive, 
The captain calling out a-ship, a-shore? 
Golden waves play harps in the summer, 
And dance a deathly knell in mid-winters reverie, 
Yet in all the colored hue, 
A heart finds no solacing bosom.


Details | Free verse | |

A done mans thoughts

The man sits back
Thinking to himself
Trying to find himself

The time has come
For a decision
The time is nigh
To clear his vision

His thoughts are clustered
And unsure
What should he think?
What has he done?

He can’t figure out
What he needs to be alive
Why can’t he be without?
All he wants is to survive.


Details | Free verse | |

The Land of Sophia

Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night Are the Lies held worth it in time Only embracing The Veil of Logic The Truth is cast into shade where all vices are soon to be made For all of our dreams and dramaticies The Destruction Star poisons seas Far from This Galaxy among the stars I can see myself, And The One I've became Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night Caught in our lust, of forgetting trust I wonder can we break free of bound forever in the clutches of Lilith's Love Eden's Heart Who's desperate For Love Who's desperate For Light yet wallows in Blight and chooses to wait--forevermore The wait in Summer--An Eternity Lilith's Love Eden's Heart Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night We don't chose what's right I can't believe we are able to see this far Crawling in Shadows Never will breath find it's light Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night
**Mark Jansen, Guitarist, Male Vocals, and main songwriter of Epica**


Details | Free verse | |

Taken Up

Taken up
Probed undoing
Returned doubtful
Truth pursuing
Glowing lights
Vacant eyes
Outcast doom
Heartfelt lies


Details | Free verse | |

I Never Knew

I never knew that you loved me so, 
you never really let me know.  You
always tried to pretend that you were my
love until the end. 

Then one day when you confess to me,
that all I was in your sight was a tiny
little pea.  That you know how much damage
these words did to me.

I never knew you thought so less of me
and now, I know this is the way it will be.
You never told me not once before that 
you were planning on walking out that door.

I never knew you had all these feelings and
emotions about me inside of you, they are
so terrible until I am really afraid of you.
Is this something you planned to do?

I never knew a person can pretend so well
and all along was nothing but hell.  You made
me think that I was alright with you and there
were nothing going wrong because you were
true.  

All of this has been corrupt, now I got a taste
from your bitter cup and it is enough.  Now
my love I never knew that you were the one
I loved so much and yet in still you caused
me so much pain and hurt.


Details | Free verse | |

My First Love Experience

It was in the early days of our lives
We met
She was so beautiful 
My eyes could not stop admiring
My heart kept racing 
Every time it sensed
her good-looking approaching
But we were too young 
To give full meaning 
To the love language

Years passed
Time kept flying
We lost contact 
But the memory of our past
We lugged with us

Someway, somehow,
Fate found us
And brought us together

We have now grown 
So big and sweet
We both glitter
At each other’s presence
We were ready to do a recap 
of where we left off

We laughed and joked about our past
We talked about our hey days at the National Theatre
We remembered the beautiful past that reflects our true self
We both haven’t changed after all

At that moment my heart spoke 
The love language again
I knew I was in love with her
It wasn’t today
It started from when we were kids

Man must gather confidence
And speak out his feelings

Thoughts,
Thoughts of what she would say;

Don’t laugh at me,
We all do it sometimes


We were sweet friends
But now, I want to take 
The friendship a step further

My heart in full swing 
Of abnormal beating,
It beat faster
It spoke two different languages
Say it; and keep it
Don’t know which of these to believe 
I was shy
I was afraid
I was confused
I was happy
I was sad
I felt insane

There she was,
Standing in front me
In their house 
Beaming with smiles

Nii, she said tenderly,
‘I thought you said you had something to tell me,
Come on, I can’t wait any longer
My ears are itching’

My heart just jumped out
And now I want to escape from her presence
I wish I could vanish into thin air

Stop laughing at me
I’m not mouth lazy

I was just afraid of the outcome 
What if she said NO?
What if I lose her as a friend?
What if she vanishes into thin air?

And the what if’s continued …

Once in a man’s life time
He must draw together courage
To speak out his feelings

After all, I would not have violated any law
For telling a sweet scented woman 
Gorgeous, attractive and stunning 
About what I feel for her
So my nerves were clamed

This was how I started…

Esther, I mean, Naa Adjeley

The confusion has started

Errrmmm, you see,

Still didn’t know what to say

Hmmm, hope you are doing great?

Still confused…

‘I guess your brother, Thomas,
Is doing fine?’

She stared at me intently 
The smiles on her face kept 
My hopes alive 
And my heart awake 
I knew she was expecting 
Something more than making those comical remarks

It’s was now time to speak

Naa Adjeley, I travelled from Cape Coast 
To Accra to come see you
To tell you I miss you
and errmmm…

Please let it out
The small voice inside me whispered

I left campus to Accra just to let you know that
I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU

She laughed aloud and said
‘’are you serious!’’

‘Oh! Yes I am’
I said confidently,

Her face suddenly darkened
The smiles misplaced 
I wanted to fade away from her presence
After all I’ve let my feelings out
That was what mattered to me
But I did not have that special magic



How long have you felt this way towards me?
The next question to answer
‘When we were kids,
But it was revamped quite recently’
I replied

I could see the confusion on her face
She needed some more time 
To think things through
I was excited let it out
But she was confused

Days passed,
I went back to school,
We enjoyed chit chatting on the phone
But the answer to my request was still hanging

She mentioned in one of our conversations
She might be travelling
But didn’t say when
She was a nursing student
I was a tourism student
The beauty of having a friend 
You know and love
kept my mind awake in school

School was on recess
I arrived in Accra
Left my things unpacked
Borrowed money from my old girl
Picked a cab to Banana Inn
To see the woman 
That has taken my heart hostage

I kept bagging at their gate
Agoo! agoo! agooo! 

Waiting in anticipation to see
Her fine looking face
And present her with my first gift
Her brother, Thomas opened up

‘Hey! Where have you been?
It’s been a while’
Was the first question 
He asked

The only interest I had was to see her face
I wanted to see the woman 
That makes my heart beat
She was all I cared about

Where is Naa Adjeley?
I enquired from Thomas

I saw the shock on his face
My breathe was not catching up 
with me properly
I knew something was wrong

‘Where is she’,
I asked again
‘Didn’t she tell you
She was travelling?’
My face dropped dead at once
I felt a sharp heart ache
I almost fainted

She left for the U.K
Without even saying bye bye
Was that why, she didn’t give any reply
to my proposal?
Why did she keep my heart awake?

I left her house, depressed
Her gift was a bonus for the cab driver
My face drenched in pool of tears

I know it hurts
But I felt more relieved

Why?

My feelings had been made lucid to her
I now walk with my chest out
Ready to move on
Ready to open myself up to happiness

I still remember
Her looks
Her smiles
Her beauty
Her mannerism

My first love story
The one I have kept furtive
Over the years

Naa Adjeley
My old time love.


Details | Free verse | |

THE WINDS OF CHANGE

Feel the winds of change, dear friend,
They are a blowing.
Brethren beneath a common cause,
Kindred spirits, gather united.
To stand tall against opposing 
Factions,
Yet we remain strong survivors,
Of justice and right.
Adversity challenges indifference, 
It is so written good shall over,
Come evil.
The truth within us all shines,
 Humanity achieves enlightenment.
Ignorance shadow fades in
 Reality's view,
Life relishes difference,
Freedom flies soaring  mankind,
 Towards a higher plain.
What a magnificent future,
Lies ahead of us.
Individuality blossoms, fulfillment,
 Becomes a human right.
Forgiveness, compassion, and mercy,
 Shall be theirs at last.
Let no mans options to believe,
Dismay conscious choice,
Carry the banner of beliefs no matter,
What the cost or price.
Your inner self reflection captures,
 Truths mirror image.
Acknowledge separate half's,
 Making one complete being.
Behold his name is called,
Social exceptions.
Resolves concussions shows a, 
Brilliant phoenix rising, 
From hatred's ashes.
It spreads deliverance’s wings,
Embracing a majestic legacy.
 
BY: CHERYL ANNA DUNN


Details | Free verse | |

World of a Maze

on cloud nine it seems gravity pulls me back down to the moon’s sunbeams the magnitude forcing a frown there’s a certain purpose for the trial knowing somewhere down the line there’s a real trail but even thinking of trying is a fail a nervous wreck in the midst of space oxygen flows, but it’s out of trace hypnotic doubt overwhelms the soul that sort of mechanical happiness is taking its toll and the fumes of assumptions consume me like the brain is loading its function rhymes a wreck down the railroad of chaos high on sadness the eyes droop some sort of animal-human cross meshed in this never-ending lump of goop philosophic gamma rays pierce the x-ray visions pass—the eyes dull gray disheartened generations gaze in a lightening phase struck eternally in this world of a maze fashion me on high and I swear I will end up down below where the moon-struck sun beats down and says goodbye to the smile of our darkest foe


Details | Free verse | |

Knowledge

In the deep chair
I pile more books than I can read
within I search for answers
to end disquiet

studying words 
reassurance through repetition
I am strongly comforted
by the written wisdom of those
who suffered before me
had my joy
ended their lives
raised their children
lost their minds



Details | Free verse | |

Paths We Choose unfinished WIP

Don't ever
Lose sight
Today is where
To believe in yourself

Up before our dawn
You perceive the gray
Not realizing for what I long
And You asked me not to stay

Our life, it seems, has come to an impasse
I choose to love you forever
Resetting our shiny compass
Wishing each other the best