With every breath I take my body aches,
When I lie in bed I feel my insides hurting.
With every reminder brings me pain.
No more can I find comfort in my home,
The cries of babies stains my mind.
I'm trying my best,
But of course from day to day hour to hour,
I find myself crying.
Memories that morning come to me every day,
Nurses surrounding me my doctor getting on her knees,
Her head looking down,
The thoughts that ran through my mind.
My life entering a new course,
One full of grieving.
He had my face,
My son, my beautiful angel.
He's watching me now,
He left me in tears but he is in my heart.
A WISH -- In Memory Of
I wish I could blow air into your little lungs,
The day my daughter brought your stillborn body into this world.
Hold your little body warm,
And tell my little girl you have her cute little nose....
Count your little fingers, and kiss your little toes....
I could look into your daring eyes,
Facing a little boy, who's ready for this world
I could tell my daughter you have her beautiful brown eyes...
Sadly, it’s not like that.
How can I tell my daughter everything will be all right?
When a piece of my heart was stolen with her's,
When giving birth to her son, my grandson
March 25, 2013---- How it Hurts!
O’ how I wish, you entered this world crying
Instead, we're the ones left in tears of sorrow
How I wish you could be,
And not this feeling you left inside
How I wish, God could explain why o' why o' why?
Mostly, I WISH grandma could fix this, and make
your mommy feel, the joy she was robbed of.
In memory of my grandson: ---Bael Lesley G.
Born March 25, 2013 --- RIP March 25, 2013
Where Have All The Pretty Poets Gone?
A real poet are you, charismatic over everything you serve
Showcasing, a rainbow that folds the perfect world wide perspective
I'm talking about flawless literature at its best no typos, no muss
Just a page full of boredom and rust
Thank you for having Lunesta all up in my head
It's like reading a poetry lesson, from the extras of The Walking Dead
An image frozen cold, waiting for inspiration to hit like Al Capone
I'm bored of your flora flamboyant language rocking me like stones
A psychedelic trip, into the odyssey of a blind man's tale
A home where I am pushed to open a dictionary & thesaurus with braille
Wondering what you just said, --Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful day!
The best rocket pen poet in the USA Today,
Launching words like no tomorrow, a fool of wordplay and sorrow
A godlike guinea-pig genius, delegating poetry politician style
Perhaps, one day you will become a famous writer
Burning books, like a cigarette lighter
Until then, enjoy pushing your pen as if it was cocaine,
Snorting up and cutting up the food chain in vain
Patronizing and ignoring those, for better or worse
A solo cup stuck up another cup, -won't even look my way
Correct me if you will, it's no big deal
Just don't forget to give me the same respect I offer you
Until then my pretty poetic friend, I kneel before no one
Is it possible that an angel and a demon could fall in love?
And, remain soul mates for all eternity?
Yes, and I will tell you how it happened.
Maybe, it was a miracle that they met
or maybe it was just meant to be.
That an angel fell out of heaven and a demon escaped from hell
on the very same day.
They saw no one, but each other.
Yet, neither had ever seen such a creature.
The angel was beautiful and kind.
This angel had fallen from heaven
a place of light and life, and of hope and peace.
The demon was imperfect and shy.
This demon had escaped from hell
a place of darkness and death, and of despair and pain.
When they met, their eyes met.
And without a spoken word.
The angel saw only tenderness and hurt in this lost demon.
The demon saw only compassion and love in this lost angel.
It did not matter to them if one had wings, and the other had horns.
Yet, they saw themselves within each other.
Even though they were from two different worlds.
They embraced each other.
Though, they knew their love was forbidden by others like themselves.
So, they decided to remain here on earth.
Where their bond could not be broken.
The heart of the angel was no longer filled with loneliness and longing.
The heart of the demon was no longer filled with torment and sorrow.
Love is what they both were searching for.
And it was found on that very same day.
A forbidden love, everlasting for all eternity.
Nineteen twenty-four and the wind was cold,
When men in uniform entered our town;
Forced us to leave in their boxcars,
Made us believe that it was for our own safety.
With no time to fix our things
We hurriedly got in the box.
And when everyone was in,
The doors were locked.
The place was hell
For not even a whisper of wind
Could enter the place,
Nor could a light shine through its walls.
Our eyes were dry and lips cracked
Plead for just a single drop;
As four nights and days we travelled
Inside the cars with no food or water.
The box unimaginable in its very state,
For dung and human liquid fragranced the place.
Weak-hearted both young and old struggled to live
Even the strong wished not to survive.
And on the fourth day, the box went to a halt!
Survivors were singing songs to God;
“Please end this tormented journey,
And deliver us home safely.”
Light shone as the heavy doors were opened!
We dropped to our knees
Hoping the place was Paradise
But Paradise was it not for we were in Hell.
Ironically, the gate held words
Like that as ‘Beware of the Dog.’
Written in frostbitten wood saying:
“ARBEIT MACHT FREI.”
My mind was puzzled upon seeing those,
How could labor set you free,
When labor here meant
Dying in force and agony.
Jew, work or die!
Jew, never complain and lie!
Those were the words
That became music in our ears,
As we bent our bones
Working for freedom that is bound.
Jew, form your lines!
Jew, the choosing has come!
And in this place we call Hell,
An Angel waits for preys.
Not to feed to its cherubim
But to the ovens decay.
Jew, old and sick!
Jew, to the ovens burn!
As the sun paints the sky red,
A gray smoke danced with the setting clouds,
And in the heavens, the old and sick smile
Grateful to be forever free from the Angel.
On and on, the days passed by
Not faster but years it seem.
Millions were killed by the monsters of time,
Feeding them to the hungry gas ovens.
Then one even night,
I dreamt of food, of home,
Of freedom and safety
And a voice calling me to follow.
I had no choice but to obey,
For in that moment I was already tired,
Sick and losing hope that once was mine
But seem to be forever lost.
On the 16th of March,
I lied still in my shelf.
I slept forever smiling,
With my red babushka in hand.
But disappointed and angry was I
To share the very day of my death
To the birth of the Malach-ha-mavis:
The Angel of Death.
Soft and tender a precious gift you were
never a day I missed to kiss your
dimpled cheeks , or hold your litlle hands
flowers, little buds that held a promise
of a gentle touch or warm embrace.
I know your face your crooked smile even your feeble cry
I knew you love of my life
but did not know your were here only for a time.
You knew me too I could see it in your eyes
sparkling gems that flashed when you saw my face.
Now you've gone to a place far away, to your home in the sky
from whence you came and stayed a little while.
Another angel I have now, this one I know so well
I'll always remember your smile, and dimpled cheeks
your busy hands and little feet.
My guardian angel you've come to be
one I was blessed to meet... to know.. to embrace ....to love...
now I know you came not to stay only to make my acquintance and I yours
My heart is sad for I miss you so my infant child
wish you had stayed awhile.
How I cried when you left and though my tears have now dried
I will always miss you though you stay by my side.
You are my special Angel the one I know best
the one I have held, loved and known, better than all the rest.
Just to let readers know. I have not lost a child. I simply wrote this poem for all
who may have lost such a precious one.
Does the past really matter?
Does it set you free?
I’m absorbed in the sin,
That is surrounding him and me.
Lost in the curiosity,
Cold to the touch.
Drenched in the poison,
With my dignity in his clutch.
Feeling like I was cheated;
I chose the evil instead of light.
I traded in the sunshine,
For what lurks in the night.
I disobeyed his orders,
I gave up security to be unsure.
I went against the warnings,
Gave into darkness instead of remaining pure.
Once my bed was made of soft grass,
But now it is made of stone.
Was plump from all of the luscious fruit,
Now I’m starving to the bone.
My curse is one of circumstance.
The punishment a crime,
I’m stuck inside this dampened cave,
For the rest of time.
My world came crashing down,
The grief has not subsided.
My heart broke completely,
When my sons collided.
My misery a token,
From the abandonment I earned.
Upon the time spent in sorrow,
There was a lesson to be learned.
Have I found the moral?
Only in time we shall see,
For all I did was eat an apple-
From the Knowledge tree.
You've sanded down the edges of my broken heart.
No longer do they pierce me.
You've stopped me from falling apart.
Like shattered glass I was a cracked reflection
Of past loves that only could do wrong.
You've entered my life just in time to save me from the past.
An angel with a healing wing you have caressed me
And carried me into a better place.
Your strong arms wrapped around me.
The passion in your kiss
Oh to be kissing an angel...
I surrender myself to you heaven.
Someone once saying to me
I always wished to meet some like you
To you one writes poetry from the heart and soul
opening up from my very being
Looking into the sky spirit of a kestrel dancing
on warm waves of air brushing deep
Just sharing writing sitting on the riverbank
alone with my old pal buster my dog
listening to the mountain stream rumbling past
I see with you love a great vision
love inside deep you told me
tears falling joy I had a beautiful soul
or is that not what you want
confused I am our friendship
Then you said I had a heart to match and once said
It just totally blew me away into heaven
feels I am still not good enough
I give you all inside off me
Love you are so very special
to sail away in heartbeats off thoughts
amazing each moment spent thinking about you
Into the clouds of silver lining treasure dream
opening in front off you
Holding most precious jewels first glance
crowning you this ocean's queen
Holy grail such a gem lights up smiles
beaming warm vision painting beauty
The sparkle in those beautiful mirrors
dazzling stars just shone a whole new world to me
Their is such a thing as love I feel it complete
at the very first sight instantly
I found it with you
Oh Holy Spirit you lifted me without wings
I was overjoyed flying
inside a warm celestial glow
tears falling golden love
Raising up inside joy sings a Host
With crystals shining sparkles
rainbows your light misting promise
I got so much happiness in news tonight
Blessed is You oh Lord
who has just brought me great light for a future ahead
one off the purest kind touched by an angels hand
To feel a warmness lifting all pain deep inside
saying be proud off love as it's a gift
pure Heavenly fluttering warmest wings
I felt my soul elevate dancing on air
lifting to the Heaven's in a song
In your Holy name Master one bows in Grace
Clouds pearly white mixed with the softest blue
floating dancing white mixed mother of pearl
on air breathing warm angel wings
Rejoicing in one prayer Holy Lord
in love I honor beautiful
Thank you for granting me
my lifetime wish come true
truly a gift I say
Amen Holy Father