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Epic Humorous Poems | Epic Poems About Humorous

These Epic Humorous poems are examples of Epic poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Epic Humorous poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Verse | |

Zuzuni on the badlands

Zuzuni on the badlands

Montana's muddy badlands spread for thirty seven miles
along a cleft of sandstone bed, eroded years before; 
the chestnut paced upon the bare of grass and well worn aisles
and I wore two new Navy Colts, of gauging forty four
beneath the noon light that defines but also eyes beguiles.

An anchorite, some years ago, upon the ridge of Grapes
where monasteries in the clouds are reaching out to God, 
I learned to draw and shoot amidst the fog's white waving drapes
and prayed til the time was ripe t' abandon this abode, 
cause solitude was molding deeds, constringing, thus, escapes.

I saw them waiting on the trail; three bandits stood apart: 
Coyote Chit, Cheesecake Labif and Mambo-Jumbo Crock
with cross-tied low their pistols stood, assumptive and upstart
bemocking fools who patented their e'er noetic block
that teachers, tho', could not explain; not even wise Descartes! 

My shots intended at their guns, the hoisted hammers broke;
I ordered them to start the dance that turns the clouds to rain
the land was in compelling need, as turf and plants evoked
the sympathy of Heavens that magnanimous ordained
the good ol' boys (and volunteers) to dance the rain's refrain.

Coyote was allowed to dance a prominent gavotte
meanwhile Labif's romantic soul preferred a marigold
but Crock's mazurka had untied the nimbus' Gordian knot
and rain began to pour upon those who the skies extolled
heroic men were meant to be, defining, thus, a blot.

Zuzuni, the Algonquin chief, had noticed this ordeal
and marveled at the outlaws forms, that caused the skies to rain
in order so, to buy the fools he offered a good deal
fourteen strong horses for each man, who danced to ascertain
that rains returned upon the slopes and also on the plains.

© 2014-10-15, G. Venetopoulos, All Rights Reserved
(Iambic heptameter)

Contest Name: Sketch a Character
Sponsor: Gautami Phookan
Deadline: 11/17/2014


Details | Free verse | |

SLY FOX

~SLY FOX~

There you go again little Sly fox P.D.
Another game of tag and jeopardy.
Clever, clever, little fox so bloodthirsty.
Chaos roams through your veins of liberty.
You walk the ground, prancing around your hostility.
Marching down with the dignity of mis-guided anarchy.

I'm gonna hunt you smell end it well.
Hang you up from your trophy tail. 
Kiss your night one last farewell.
By morning dawn your foxy tail,
Won't live another tale to tell.

I'm gonna find ya' ~ pull your hideout from where you hide.
Smack you around in your everyday rebellious ways.
Thinking you can defeat my crowd with your lawlessness..
I don't need no hounds to track your unlivable Holy-mess.
You created a selfish character of kindness for the blindness.
You prey on the sheep's and linger on their wall of hopelessness. 
Your sinfulness grew from the boldness, and bitterness, 
Of growing up parent-less.
My dear Sly Fox are you on alert with your ears of nobleness.
Did you not hear me creeping while you were sleeping.

Sly fox the destroyer!

You are right, you are a mischievous game of hunt!
My trap is set and waiting for you by the river front.
Go ahead, take a drink, pull one last obnoxious stunt.
Run and run, as fast as you can!
You can't out run this one game of Skitty Skat fox hunt.....


~SKAT~
 
 


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Charlotte Russe


The rain began with striking thunder noise,
the falling drops were pelting on his head;
his bomber's jacket, after shave and poise
anticipated just, her tall spikes' tread.

Her stumbling light steps were quick and graced;
- oh, sightly maid, that fondling drops wet,
he smiles; she smiles, so rarified and laced,
her acrobatic charm and walking fret.

Her wet, Venusian bends enthrall his brain;
those curvatures must be explored and felt,
his tips will tangle in her moistened mane,
her feminine perfume and garter belt!

Athletic is his run upon the quay,
as lightning strikes around, of Zeus wrath,
in style he throws his rendezvous bouquet,
her manicured lithe fingers long to catch!

A flash demolishes the rose bouquet,
another strikes upon his buckle's brass;
resembling Nureyev at ballet
with Dame Fonteyn, he proves his dancing class!

She joins his dance beneath November's rain;
thus, he forebodes her lustful flames and cries,
uncorking the Dom Pérignon champagne,
receives a third flash on his manly prize.

Embraced they dance beneath the rain and kiss
Mille-feuille creamed her finger tips, will fuss 
to tease his buds, while deponent his lips
descend to slowly taste her "Charlotte Russe".

© 11-24-2013, All Rights Reserved
(humorous-erotic-light poetry-Iambic pentameter)

Sponsor: Charlotte Puddifoot
Contest Name: Charlotte's Scorchers: Erotic/Sensual Poetry 

Definitions:

* Mille-feuille:
The mille-feuille is a creamy pastry of French origin.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mille-feuille

* Charlotte Russe:
Charlotte Russe is a cold dessert of Bavarian cream set 
in a mold lined with ladyfingers.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlotte_%28cake%29


Details | Epigram | |

A season's dance


avant-garde

What art thou, splendid maid, inclined to verse?
Upon the skies, the stars thy words rehearse.

The darkness cometh with a Fall's request
while in thy kitchen, Gail, should do your best;

for spicy tastes the famous bard now begs
but you regaled his pleas with two boiled eggs.

The Eros Iamb feet, sung by the sire,
repeated are by stray cats' alto choire.

while resonant, of music flaws he shuns,
cats meow at him, from two deep tin trash cans.

Your bucket-full of water then, is thrown,
to fall upon his head and new iphone.

Enchanted so, thou callest the fine bard,
to dance with you Fall's jazzy avant-garde.

© G. V., 10-03-2013
(Iambic pentameter)


Details | Light Poetry | |

Dragons Zoo Field Trip

My son came home from school one day, wanting permission to go, to the Zoo.
His field trip sparked a riot. Can you imagine at home, what immediately ensued?
Trolls, Dragon, the weird frogs, plus a sundry of forest folk, all wanted to come.
Woe is me, I thought, as I fainted dead away. Can I even remotely get this undone?

Our neighbor witch, thought it a marvelous thing. She definitely wanted to be there.
But then, now did the entire, blooming forest folk! Can you imagine the result? I swear!
Naturally, the Zoo said no! Then I offered them the rights for the resulting video show.
Naturally, the News Guys wanted to come, for a reality story, all new and fully aglow.

Yes, ‘The Wild is about to meet, the Caged.’ Came the headlines from everywhere.
The witch put a spell on everyone; to successfully return us, without a worry or care.
Then she zapped… Us… There. The Penguins are barbarians, The Weird Frogs cried.
But jumped in, for a good time as the Puffins taught them to ride, their water slide.

The Polar Bears got a chance to play, for a change, with our fun filled Forest Bears.
The dragon went straight to the monkey house, and let them all out… of their lair!
Never fear, he let them ride to the sky, with acrobatics included for them, in the ride.
You see, they’re a curious lot, and literally wanted to see where the human’s abide.

But when they finally saw, what it looked like, they gladly went back, to their home.
Not enough trees for their liking… and cars trapping people in their cages, of chrome.
Now the beavers loved the otters, and the seals made the Trolls roar with, endless fun.
The seals put on a show and the Trolls paid a toll by rubbing their tummies, every one.

The Walrus joined in for the water fun, spraying everyone, and giving the Trolls a ride.
No one was bored, that day, as the giraffes watched happily, from where they reside.
Then as the night came to a close the dragon, did a spectacular, fireworks show.
I’d been near dead with worry. But the day went great, as I finally, came to know.

For once in my life, every thing was grand… as we safely made it home, though late.
Too bad Dragon did sneak back, to bring the Barbarian Penguins, home to our lake.
The next morning I got up to a God-awful noise for the penguins wanted to eat, now!
I could hear them, though they were in my recliners, all down by the shore. I avow!

Not to mention, the Zoo authorities had caught dragon on videotape, start to finish.
I thought we were in trouble, until a truck arrived with the penguins breakfast fish.
The authorities had come along, and wanted them kept right where they are. Oh Joy!
It appears renovations were scheduled, for their beloved home, at the Zoo. So enjoy!

Apparently, this would be their temporary home, so with fond regards… 
They left and… I put Dragon in charge… Can’t wait for the results… to start! 


Details | Haiku | |

The Internet: Return

A void of Facebook
Creativity dies here...
Procrastination!


Details | Acrostic | |

Cookies

Cookies are addictive!
OoOoH! Here's one to snatch!
Okay...where's the chocolate chips?
Kraving too many of these treats
I want some now! But...I might get beeefy...
Every bite is mouthwatering, soft and crisp
Should I take another cookie?


Details | Concrete | |

The Rising Red sun

                       Inspirational poem.. Rising Golden red sun all its way..dedicated to all 
                               of you  guys..wrote by Mrs.Madhavi.Suyog.Pagare


                                          The Rising Red sun


As like the charming moon and  luminous star fades away.
It promises to send the dynamite sun shining in the sky.
Due to which oceano pearl glitters all the day.
Praying god for the happiness in all our way.

The morning sagas made me understand, Me and my vivacious life.
But When I look back and pick up the souvenir of my childhood. Its just nostalgic. Feel like to go back to the teenage. The sustained pain is the only option left that I can’t get those days of my innocence back.
All I could make up my mind and just say, move on. Just move on.

Ray of hope chimed my heart.
Because god gifted me Something and added in my cart.
Provided me and my sincerity towards work can’t depart.
From the very day uplifted to give a quick start.

The moment I realized the magnetising power of the sun.
Felt trust on it and renovated my life again by attenuating my pains.
Rest all I expect peace my thee.
Left with the ray of hope. Bless us  MY god, My lord !!!!!



Wrote by:
Mrs.Madhavi.Suyog.Pagare







Details | Pastoral | |

The Sun In My Face

I awoke this morning to the sun in my face ,
   Quickly I sat  up for I knew it was late .
My sleep  has been so good since we came together,
    The rest I get the peace I feel will be with me forever.
Can't remember when I have felt so good ,
    Finding you has changed my life , I knew it would .
This is not something I would ever take for granted ,
    Because I know the seeds of love have been planted .
It will grow and blossum into something so grand ,
    Always glowing brightly no matter where I stand .
Not a worry or care do I feel on this day ,
    Only joy and happiness will come our way.
I can say this from the bottom of my heart , 
    Never will I feel alone when it's cold and dark .
To be awakened by the sun in my face ,
   To be honest with you , it matters not if I am late .
TAC
 


Details | Light Poetry | |

The Job Interview

The HR person called me in… I was turning gray… Was he even twenty-one?
I wondered if the interview would go well, as he did fung shui the chairs around.
Offered a caramel expresso mocha late decaf, I told him I took my coffee black.
Alas my friend, it got progressively worse, this: our proverbial generational gap.

He asked me to explain, how I’d be the best personnel fit, for this illustrious job.
Ah! Experience I had in abounds, as I pulled out a 100-page resume, neatly bound.
That question, had me off and running, but I knew, I was in some trouble when…
I saw his eyes glaze over, and he ask me, ‘Have we made it into space yet?’

He smirked, when he ask, about ‘Recent’ applicable education, in the last 5 years.
I condensed my course certifications till he nearly fell off, his crazy chair, my dear!
He ask the projects worked on, unfortunately, all were government secret classified. 
So I added some of the numerous skills, that had been applied, till he almost cried.

I started with the job descriptions, but he didn’t like… that the names were so long.
And the abbreviations normally used, in this line of work, almost blew his mind.
Though I also got the feeling, he may have thought that I’d finally, lost mine, since…
My accomplishments had scads of stuff he’d never, ever, be able to comprehend...

You know, ‘things’ about the job, HR doesn’t care about or bother to be clued in.
Luckily all was saved, before the interviewers’ jaw, hit the floor around his chair.
Using a power point presentation, illustrations appeared, giving him a better clue.
I even gave him a burned DVD, set to the music of  ‘Live Free or Die Hard’, too.

He ask about items, he’d never heard of, you know, from way before he was born.
But got the feeling he’d be more attentive, talking about a computer game going on.
I didn’t lie about a thing, it’s not my fault some Companies are now closed down!
But I felt things were somewhat a success, as security finally came to lead me out…

Unfortunately, in the end, they hired a young one, and I couldn’t understand why.
He was a quiet, little, studious kid, who didn’t say a thing, but had stars in his eyes.
He didn’t understand any of the work involved, but his pay would be next to none.
But that's whom they got: until that company closed for work that couldn’t be done.

All because the HR Department didn't help them get the workers they did need.
I became self-employed, developing computer games, all the rage! Oh So Sweet!
Yes, I became a millionaire, with my own company, without HR, anywhere seen!
Now, we develop rockets to go into space, where I felt, that HR person should be.

Dedicated to all those Middle aged people stressed out after looking for a job.
Wife and Hubby Collaboration


Details | Concrete | |

DISTURBED CREATURE- Am I

A poem wrote by me, based on Person who is a deserving icon but still struggling hard with his career life and addressed as disturbed creature.

DISTURBED CREATURE--> Am I ??       BY Mrs.Madhavi Suyog Pagare

Am I so insane, Am I so mad,
Dramatic mood of mine is so die hard.
Destroyed my peace, Shattering my dreams,
People call me as disturbed creature.
As like mounting the pain, attenuating the drain!!

Digesting my feelings lying inside me,
Strangely nobody cared, call me sick.
Teasing me lavishly and my heart is pricked,
Hurted me like hell when addressed me as stupid.
As like showering rain, missing on the lane!!

Time lapse in journey of life,
Can hamper anybody on its path.
When I see innate reflex of mine,
I always use to brightly shine.
Though possessing every job attributes of mine,
I never thought the authorities will ditch and hamper my career line.
Falsely acting bloody swine, making my image as fade as wine.
As like affecting harmonious divine, my soul was, as is transparently pristine!!

Destroying me and testing my patience, Never wanna give up.
Transformed deviations, wanna rightly screw up.
I wanna raise up, I wanna shake up.
I wanna wake up, Tranquilize my mind.
Unzip the professional life compressed by the culprits.
Wanna explore myself, driving the motivated heights of journey.
Lastly waiting for the optimistic opportunity.
Cuffing the suspect ,I wanna rejoice by my pattern of life!! 

with Suyog Pagare


Details | Bio | |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?


Details | Light Poetry | |

Star Trek Rules

Star Trek Rules!

It was time for: Comic Con! Comic Con! Dragon wanted to come, too!
But then so did everyone else at Troll Lake… Hey, now, wouldn’t you?
We made some really cool costumes… for the costume show, my Dear.
You can guess, ‘Star Trek Rules!’ It couldn’t be anything less, you hear. 

Our favorite nighttime popcorn show, would truly now, become a part of our lives! 
The penguins got permission from the zoo; to go… great publicity, so very wise.
McRacoon had his Las Vegas Dragons get us, and a mock saucer, there, all on time.
Naturally pre-registered and in costume, we strutted in! Hi there! Began the playtime!

Man we were really cool, as the guest actors ask for OUR autographs. For Real!
Pictures were snapped, and a poster made, to be signed by everyone, so cheerful.
It’s highest bid, given to charity, would be a nice touch, for everyone in our crew.
The costume show was set outside, where all the dragons, could fly in, or out, too.

And a small mock, star ship was landed on stage, so we could enter with more flare.
Lord a mercy! Look at us! We’d never be like this, again! We were like stars, I swear!
Grandpa Troll, became Mr. Spock, naturally, because he was so, very clever and wise.
Our neighbor witch, was Uhura, due to her great ability to, protect everyone’s’ lives. 

Borp the Frog became Sulu, so he could take us up to Borp speed, with laser effects!
Hubby was Scotty, with the Tinker Trolls in engineering, for special effects, so perfect!
The penguins were the beloved crewmembers, running with lasers, all over the place.
The powder puff tribbles, got wet, so yes, became the ‘Trouble with Dribbles’, in space.

The Mary River Turtles wanted to be Checkov. What a groovy, exciting, security team.
Dragon wanted to be Captain Kirk, you know, like totally, in command… At the scene!
All agreed, I’d be a great Dr. McCoy, since I always get to, kiss the Boo- Boo’s away.
The Weird Frogs were the Aliens, chasing everyone mindlessly, around, the set, that day.

And the Las Vegas Dragons, became attacking star ships, over which our lasers won!
The crowds went wild, and we won first place in their hearts, as well as, in their minds!
Everyone had, such a good time, so the Trek continued, well after, when we got home.
That year Comic Con made the National news, and of course, nobody, was surprised!

As the residents of Troll Lake and Acorn Falls… continue to Trek on… every day!

By Mike and Carol Eastman… 


Details | Alliteration | |

DONE DEAL

[A] DONE DEAL
[A] defeated disgusting man this is. Disallowed defense because of his disease. [A] Done deaf to compete with the Dogs! Distribute dinner to him as a better eat of hog maws. Do not deliberate this as a lost. [A] Done Deal depletes the prognosis. Dis Dell do. Hair her head to... [A] Done deal the truth! _________________| PENNED ON JULY 04, 2014!


Details | Light Poetry | |

Medieval Camelot

I’m sure you’ve heard of the Great King Arthur and Lancelot’s well-known fame.
But there was yet another knight, of great glory and great fame, never named.
His name was whispered constantly, everywhere, around those hollowed halls.
For no one wanted to be near when he passed by, on his famous unerring walks.

A knight so very gallant, that he would bow to: every fashion of maiden, high or low.
So fierce his life could not be taken, no matter how sharp the blade, they did throw.
A musical quality followed him everywhere, and his livery was absolutely divine.
He would have been the perfect knight, except for one minor, itty bitty, tiny flaw…

What was his name, you may ask, and what led to such glory and illustrious fame?
He was Sir Dragon Sparkle Farts, and yes, you can guess, what earned him that name.
You see, an evil witch, he once did fight, and yes… he absolutely won, most verily.
But before the witch became undone, she sprinkled a curse upon his own, to be.

Whenever others are about, you guessed it, yet again; he had sparkle farts, my friend.
Do not laugh; he was to all, a dearest friend. Tho the trouble caused, was rampant, in the end.
You see, in that time the villages were all made with beautifully made, thatched roofs…
He flew betwixt and between, yet, an occasional spark now airborne, did veer off, poof!

So for the most part he walked in town, though the wheat fields were often, set off.
At least the castle was made of stone, though many a tapestry did not survive, well off.
Indeed, a water bucket brigade, became put at his disposal, simply all the time, amen!
And nobody did tickle him, for fames from both ends, became quite rampant then.

Laughter did, yes, the same… But hiccups brought utter flame throwing despair, to all. 
Still he was a beloved knight, so the round table was set to keep his back, to the wall.
The knights all stuck together, thru thick and thin, and yes, even thru his sparkle farts.
But with great sadness: of why such a fierce warrior, could be forgot, I now impart.

You see, his name Sir Dragon Sparkle Farts, did not ring, minstrels romantic thoughts.
Historians, thought his references, just crude, forgettable laughable jokes, The Sots!
But know, when Camelot finally fell, and even he could not stop that inevitable tide.
He flew away, to the great blue North, they say, where with snow and ice, he abides.

Now, young and old, do not be sad… For the moral of this fable holds: 
All he did was: for his friends and the Greater Good… He cared not for Glory or Gold.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Do Not Interrupt

There are times, doing something, you think is good, can simply back fire, on you.
And I took Dragon to watch a movie of The Grand Canyon, yes, flying thru.
Just to be safe, we sat in the back, you know, way up, in the nosebleed, high!
And it became such a thrilling ride, such scenery, constantly passing you by.

You could almost reach out to touch the views, mouth watering photographic art.
But Dragon started to tap his feet, as his hands flew up, to cover his beating heart.
I’ve never seen him, so excited, over anything, EVER, in all, of his life, so bold.
Now I began to worry, as I noticed his wings began to twitch and want to unfold.

I gently put my hand over his, as I gently tried to calm him, with words, to interrupt..
He wouldn’t turn away from the screen, as ‘Do Not Interrupt!’ Did soundly erupt.
I recognized that comment, I’d used it a time or two, on him, now on myself, recast.
Now, here came my comeuppance, I did realize, for I was getting nowhere, fast!

Next, I rubbed his back shoulder muscles gently, to soothe the twitching, that arose.
You know, the ones that allow him the power, to take off and fly, yea, you got it, those!
Now this was not going to end well, from my point of view, as he shrugged off my touch.
At least, a beautiful sunset began slowly falling, near the end of the movie, as such.

By this time, I was, totally, trying to shake him out of his mesmerizingly total trance.
All we had to do, was last a few more minutes, but now he was beginning, to prance!
He was SO impassioned that he wouldn’t let me interrupt. I began to panic, oh, so well.
For the life of me! I couldn’t see any way, to break the movies, very, rapturous spell.

All I could begin to see; was that this was not going to end so very well, gently put!
So I begged him, to not try, to do… what he wanted to do! As I stomped on his foot!
In the end, all I did was piss him off, as the soared off, so impassionedly, into the view!
Well darn! That hadn’t worked out well! I sighed! As I watched the inevitable, come to!

Naturally I was there for him, when he hit the IMAX screen. With a sudden Kersplat!
After all, what are families for, but to be there, when we do stupid things, like that!
And we all do, something, so strange and crazy… in our illustrious lives, somewhere.
Naturally we were banned from the IMAX! And the screen would need extensive repair.

A vet came for Dragon, as newspapermen with questions, did show up, Oh Drat! 
As I talked to the vet!  What did I say, to them? Ha! You guessed it! ’Don’t interrupt!’
Needless to say they weren’t happy and the 5 o’clock news was my wall. Kersplat!


Details | Imagism | |

The Red Symphony

A self-written poem begun in Christmas Time,
While it tasting the soup and looking for rhyme.
In the kitchen, neighbor with the quiet tomato paste,
The sorcerer's apprentice, a poet pretty well placed
Near Soups (ciorbe) with characteristic sour taste
With luminous face and much grace added the rest:
As he was sipping and tasting from raw and cooked.
His group had a passionate look at what was booked
For the dinner: These might be meat and vegetable soups.

They had to choose till the coming of the helping troops
For the pig`s sacrifice rite, old mixture of joy and grief
Under the hot and long debrief of the pleasant smell-thief 
Tripe soup (ciorba de burta) hard prepared from beef,
And calf foot soup (ciorba de vitel), with green-gold leaf 
Pickled soup (supa de moare) with pork and big rice;
But use the dice to decide between spice and allspice.

From the slaughtered pig the village` families prepare: 
Carnati - sausages  kept in special aromatic smoke 
Of wet fir and oak burned at small fire as enjoyed by folk;
Caltabos - sausages made with liver sprinkled with beers;
Toba and piftie - dishes using pig's feet, head and ears 
Suspended in aspic like a frozen symphony in red
After cups of plum brandy and before going the bed
Tochitura - pan-fried pork to bid it a farewell, twice
Served with mamaliga - palesta , and red wine with ice,
Or boiled wine with pepper and cinnamon against frost; 
So that the pork can swim and the verse were glossed;
Piftie - inferior parts of the bashful pig, mainly the tail, 
Feet and ears, kind of meal like taken from a fairytale
In which all are cooked and served in a form of gelatin
In this naturalist field, all the poets smile like Mr.Bean;
                                                                              
Jumari - small pieces of pig meat are fried and tumbled 
Through various spices if after all, you are a little troubled 
 And may falter some poetical from the famous songs
Like "So, good people drink…" couples of diphthongs
Since Saturday to Thursday and make colorful the gray.

This poem was written in the Night of Tuesday to Friday.
 
( And later we`d find that the housewife had covered with it  the pickles cucumbers jar.)


Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.


Details | Narrative | |

De Andy Lee

De Andy Lee (part one)

Talks about the little Lady Lee and me,
It all started at the first flight
Our adventure had an origin---
From Off-ego was where we met
So dazzling was her beauty that
Caught my eyes at first sight
And unresisting, my passion wooed along 
Believe me, my eyes contended and my heart clamored
Though my lips stuttered
Deep down inside me was stamina within
Whispering “You can do it, yes, you can”

As I opened my eyes, unknowingly, I’d reached for Lee’s hands
“Hi pretty damsel… as anyone ever told… you…‘re charming”
Perhaps this was a poor pick up line
But she smiled anyway and then freed herself away 
Like a butterfly hovered from my hands.

Not so long, Terry, a neighbor from Long-town
Knocked at my door, walked himself in as I consented
And handed me a postal, “thank you Terry”, I said
While I thought through who might mail me this 
Piece on my palm which I was about to cut exposed
Alas a nightmare-like knocks from the dark 
I (already) left my door ajar
 “You help yourself in please” I utter’d as expected
“Good day sir, I’m Dandy. There is a lady waiting for you outside
She said are name is Lee De Lee”
Agape! “It must have been that lady from Off-ego,
Yes she’d seized my throat already. I think, my previous 
Chat with her there was not bad after all”
Walked myself out with one of my finest attires
Dandy took me to that spot she picked him for me and left
Me, only me wandering and wallowing nervously in the chilly clouds

“Hail Mary, hope I guess right… and where is little Lee De Lee?”
I soliloquized… and as Heaven helped me, 
She appeared and approached
“My apology for keeping you waiting Mr Handsome,
May be you did wow me like you did other ladies or not
But my question is this… Will you love me like
You never have loved any other lady in this city?”
 Though puzzled me but “I must top this chat” I assured
“Not only love will I give, but all for our short courtship
And the thereafter long and everlasting wedlock”
 I could see from her face, expressions said to say
‘Another clever words from your sweet mouth’ 
But lo she opted for most sensitive part of me,
Which could be very vulnerable sometimes
“What did you say that your sweet name is… Handsome?”
There I unveiled my name, which is Agape-
“A-G-A-P-E, yes, pronounced Aa-gaa-pey from On-town” I said….

A.O
16/2/2014


Details | Free verse | |

Gay Aliens

Gay Aliens


We are gay aliens
We come in peace

We traveled inconspicuously
to your world through intergalactic
pods or wombs

Our host who nurtured us
had the wisdom to know
that we were not like
other humans 

Our hosts protected us
in our infancy
and from the men
who thought
they fathered us

These same men were
the first of many
to hate and hurt us

They called us names
like faggot and sissy
butt-bangers

We the gay aliens
Who come in peace

Were confused
and hurt by their
rejection
but we still love them

We were falsely
accused of beguiling
drinking the blood 
and mutilating animals and children
to propagate our race

But that is not our mission
We come in peace

Some of us did 
not complete our
mission because
we prematurely
killed ourselves

Some of us did
not complete our
mission because
we internalize
the hate of the
world for us

We were drunken
from firewater
ingested too many small white pellets
screwed with no avail 

Because
We forgot
Who we were
And why we are here

We are the gay aliens
We are legions
Hidden among you

We are a gift to humanity
And we come in peace


Details | Free verse | |

Reflections: Intellectualism

To Dine, To Die;
Conversations spiral
While thunderous eyes
Grasp concepts to recycle.

Constant debt crisis
A political paradox
Grating social devices
Over the sorting of socks.

Pseudo-analysis
An endless groan
Argumental paralysis
The debate grants no throne.

Existentialism
Over a roast
Potatoes won't listen
To who talks the most.

"That point is so interesting"
The floor is open for chat
"What is real?" not a thing
"Meow" adds the cat.


Details | Rhyme | |

The suspense is torture

A hit and run of epic proportion                                                                                       The Easter conspiracy in motion                                                                                      The CIA FBI  Interpol perplexed                                                                                       Who done it who will be next                                                                                Scotland yard the challenge not met the Reg.                                                                The goose no longer lays the golden egg                                                                   Public supply and demands satisfaction                                                                       Who will it be it is up to you investigation                                                                     Slow to the game the cards are on the the table                                                                The only glue you get a fable                                                                                    - for Lisa Cooper Poetessdarkly contest -Who murdered the Easter bunny? 3/5/2013


Details | Epic | |

Mrs Muppet

Mrs Moppet decided to go to the beach
as it was such a sunny day.
Loading up her car with kids and picnic
they set off singing as they went.
The road was long and very twisty
and half way there with a loud noise
the car groaned to a halt.
Oh my said Mrs Muppet as clouds of
smoke rose up from the hood.
Luckily Mr Squirrel was passing by
he knew a thing or two about cars.
I will tow you to the garage he said
your rad pipe has a leak.
At the garage Mr Fix-it soon 
had things back to rights.
So off they set, the kids singing again
and soon the sea was in sight.
They parked on the beach a-mid dunes
and the kids hopped off to play.
Not too far called Mrs Moppet setting
out the rugs and towels.
She set out the salad sandwiches,
and carrot cake a firm favourite.
From down the beach came a cry
Biily Muppet had got stuck between two rocks
Mrs Muppet tugged and tugged no way
could she get him free and the tide was coming in.
Bertie Badger seeing their plight came to help
and in the nick of time they pulled Billy free.
Time for food said Mrs Muppet inviting Bertie
to join them, just as they were tucking in up
blew a sand storm, burrow in and wait it out
it will soon pass and it did but the heavens opened
and down poured the rain soaking all the food.
Oh my said Mrs Muppet what else can go wrong?
Just then the rain stopped and out came the sun
only drinks left the food is ruined said Mrs Muppet
as a strong gust of wind carried off her grass hat
and her skirts blew up around her ears.
Brick-red in face she tugged them down quickly
lets go home moaned the kids this is no fun.
Packing everything up they set off for home  
But fate was not yet done with them and
soon the car started started to buck along
Whatever now, oh no, we have a flat tyre
Mrs Muppet struggled hard to change the wheel
but could not remove one of the nuts.
It was growing dark and they were stuck
in the middle of nowhere. The kids huddled
close feeling scared as strange rustles  and weird
noises filled the night air.
We may be here all night, said Mrs Muppet, lay
out the rugs and try to sleep.
The children settled down but found it too eerie,
weird noises surrounded the car.
Then came a tappety tap on the window
making them all jump. Who is it? wavered
Mrs Muppet. No need to fear it is only me
said Randy Rabbit, do you need some help?
Oh yes please Randy my tyre is flat and a nut
is stuck fast. No problem, said Randy I will sort it out
and setting to work he soon had it fixed.
Thank you, thank they all chanted and Mrs Muppet
invited Randy home for some dinner.
Arriving home she soon set out a tasty meal
and they all tucked in heartily.
Well now I am sure you can guess the rest,
they fell in love, married and eight weeks later
six tiny baby rabbits were born.
Which just goes to show every cloud 
does have a silver lining.


Details | Epic | |

Gregor the Slowest

Gregor the slowest
Felt nothing but fear
To prove he was worthy
He must kill a deer
A great giant bat
Was chasing him far
He ran and he ran
Towards that tiny North star

The deer weighed a lot
Tied to his small back
He tripped and he fell
He was under attack!
He drew out his sword 
Sort of stumpy and dull
And brandished it boldly
Like the horn of a bull


He slew the fierce beast
Stabbed him with a strong hand
Then he continued to travel
Just like he had planned
But he, he was careless
Not looking around
Big lots of danger
So soon would abound

He tripped and he fell
Like the cretin he was
Right into the swamp
Full of monsters and fuzz
Then all of a sudden
He felt a strange thing
A nip and a nibble
And then a sharp sting

He jumped like a moose
Right out of his skin
He saw a large rat
To his leg it did cling
A bash of his hand 
Then a kick and a stomp
But to no avail
The rat did still romp


He sat in despair
He cried and he sobbed
And he could not swim
So he had to bob
A rat on his leg 
And his face in the mud
He would have been dead
He was in deep crud

But Harry was near
The God of the Dumb
A snap and a crackle
He was out of the scum
Hooray! he did shout
Yippee! and Booyaw!
Then he sat down to chat 
With his savior, the God

“Oh dearest Harry,
My life you did save
To tell you my story
You must be the brave
It is very thrilling, 
A strong heart you must bear
I’ll start from the outset
Its truthful, I swear!”


Gregor felt empty
He needed a friend
He came across Zera
His heart she to mend
But she was a princess
A beauty, a crest
Gregor needed some help
To prove he was best

So he went to the wood
To kill a great deer
He rode off like lightning
Just a small bit of fear
Deer large as a house
Ran into the path
Gregor ran after
But got way off track

Lost as a donkey
He neighed and he brayed
Galloping in circles
His terror displayed
He sat down and cried
But out of the night
Came a huge giant bat
All ready to fight


“And that is my tale”
Said he with a smile
Harry sat straight
And thought for a while
Then he got up and took
Gregor by his small hand
He led him back home
To his native land

Harry led him to Zera
So he could say hi
He said hi very well
And his fortunes did fly
They fell deeply in love
And had many kids
Now Gregor has friends
And a few little squids

And that is the tale 
Of poor little Greg
His fortunes did rise
Right out of the dregs
With some help, he flew
Right out of his hole
Didn’t need to dig down
Like a little blind mole


Details | Light Poetry | |

Bruce Willis To The Rescue

Bruce Willis is at the Super Bowl with blimps and tunnels to run thru!
Run! Bruce Willis! Run! The bad guys are after you!
His wife is in the seats wondering if she’ll be safe!
Honey! Your Hubby is BRUCE WILLIS! No one could be MORE SAFE!

If something is not right! If terrorists are running a muck!
Bruce Willis to the rescue! Thank you very much!
With Miley Cyrus as the ½ time act! Don’t worry anyone!
Before she begins to twerk! He’ll tackle her to the ground!

Are the vendors charging way too much? What will you do?
Simply call Bruce Willis! He’ll do whatever  there needs… to do!
As everything goes into sudden death over time…
Bruce Willis to the rescue…That in unless…

Chuck Norris is there for the other blooming team!!!
Then Run! Bruce Willis! Run! Chuck Norris is after you!




Details | Epic | |

The Idiom and the Oddity Part 3

Page 7

We’ll build a wooden structure                                   
With planks torn from our ships
And place it by their gates
Then we wait for the eclipse 

Now I know you all have questions
About how I know these things
But I’ve studied all religions
Foreign Nations, Queens and Kings

Some kingdoms honor Bears
Some worship cats and eagles 
Some lions, tigers, bears, “Oh My” 
Foxes, wolfs and beagles 

Now, these Trojans have one fondness
It stands upon four feet
It feeds upon the grassy plains
And they ride it down their streets

We will build it long and sleek
With a tail tacked to its end
And ears, upon its oblong head
But, with one thing more to send

There, concealed inside its belly
Are those who lie in wait
For the beast to be drawn inside
The Trojan’s massive gates

Page 8

So until the sun starts rising                                        
You men must now embark
And assemble the device
While working in the dark

The others on the beach
A distraction will devise
To keep your labor secret
From those Trojan’s prying eyes

Now off with you, behind that mound
I have a party to attend
It’s not often I can have some fun
At the same time to offend 

( Troy 1184 BC, The Beach Party ) 

The Flames of passion darted up
Into the evening air
It made the glittering of sand
Seamed like stars were everywhere 

The drums had reached a beat
That made the young men, have to dance
And I’m sure it made The Trojans
Lose control and wet their pants

Page  9

While young men danced on burning sands            
Displaying sex appeal
The Greeks would pause and strike a pose
And flex their buns of steel

The Trojans on the wall
Filled with heighten passion soon
Turned their backs and dropped the drawers
Displaying many moons

It seemed as if, we played all night
Now its time to take our chances
Bring forth the horse, and by due course
We all took second glances 

The carpenters that worked all night
Had never seen the beast
It was a horrible interpretation 
That is to say the least

I should have choose an artist
Much more suited for the task
For instead of building a mighty horse
There stood a giant ass.

No time to make corrections for
The dawn was growing near
We must move without detection
And crawl in through its rear

To be continued...................


Details | Ballad | |

brooding river

Brooding River 
 This winter saw a lot of rain the river 
near the houses Is still running clear and lucid 
giving its soul to the ocean 
On the old Roman Bridge I asked the river to stop wasting 
its precious sweet water to the salty sea,
one cannot let thirsty horses drink brackish liquid 
after having hauled a cart full of dead sheep
up to a mountain top,
offerings to a god that only exist in the mind of an 
idiot savant. 
The river hears me not its job is to run dry during 
the summer and when fall arrives be reborn. 
But beware of a river that has no fish
those who haughtily laugh will be turned into frogs,
the banks are full of them.
 Only a princess can make them into human again.
But they will still have frog souls.
 Alas due to hard time the princess is a dancer in 
a Spanish nightclub knows nothing about emails
and she is not on facebook. 


Details | Epic | |

The Idiom and the Oddity Part 2

Page 4

They do not move a muscle                           
Nor give unto their fears
But contemplate their carnage
Have you even not, one tear

Had I known you like I do now
You wicked callous beast
I never would have shown you
That my heart was in your reach

When the first drop of precious blood
Impacts upon this ground 
I swear I’ll not forgive you
And by the Gods I’ll strike you down

But could we not turn, this tide
And you and I once more
Find the love sent from about
And do, as we adore

NO,  cause you insist to make my wish
Lie broken on the floor
And wear a glove while touching love
Just like a filthy whore

Don’t think the Gods won’t notice
You’re defiled and you’re sick
By using love to hide behind
To pull this dirty trick

Page 5

Ah, to one trick there’s another   
And I possess my share
Be patience and I’ll show you
What can happen to your lair

With cunning and with cruelty
My counsel will evoke
A very cunning plan
That would make Poseidon choke 

I will converse, with Apollo
To have the sun replace the moon
So therefore catch a tan
If it’s possible, by noon 

Then I’ll call on my Seamstress 
To sew me something smart
With these hand made silver boots
This is Fashion’s off the charts

Of course all my solders
Will be dressed up in their best
Tunics will be optional
And so might the rest

We will decorate the beach
With a bonfire and some torches
So the enemy can watch
While they’re lounging on their porches

Page 6

Send a ship down to the tropics                                   
I think seafood would be nice
And one up to the artic 
To fetch all some ice

I know some Greek dancing songs
We’ll get the band to play
And I’ll maybe sing a solo
To melt, their hearts away

Cause no one, but no one
Puts a party on like me
And makes the end to every war
A spectacle to see

When things start dieing down
Very late at night
We all crawl to our ships
And we’ll put out the lights

We give them the impression
We’re all drunk and going home
This should make them feel relieved
That we’re leaving them alone

But that is when we pull 
The oldest trick, found in the book
With a sinister contraption
This deception’s off the hook 

To Be Continued.................


Details | Bio | |

diffident

Diffident

I had a dream
to be an extrovert,
I opened a café and
when people came I didn´t know 
how to behave
so I told them to get lost.
I had a beautiful café… clean
and empty and I said to myself
tomorrow I will not be shy
open it and welcome guests.
but I never got around opening it again.
My sister´s boy 
was like me he made furniture,
beautiful pieces – an artist.
He opened a shop trying to sell his stuff,
but when people came 
he hid in one of his wardrobes  
and did´t come out before prospective 
costumers had gone.
It is tough to be paralyzing shy,
once in Paris, France, I was reading poetry
on a stage, so petrified 
I had no idea what I was doing there
so I ran out and drowned in
the Parisian night.
Full of whisky and valium I danced 
tango on a table and didn´t fall off.
Which goes to prove that? 
an introvert is a person who has lost
the key to his inner self.