Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership


Epic Funny Poems | Epic Poems About Funny

These Epic Funny poems are examples of Epic poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Epic Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

If you don't find the poem you want here, try our incredible, super duper, all-knowing, advanced poem search engine.

Details | Clerihew | |

Battle of the Sexes

battle of the sexes


~~MONA LISA SMILE
Picture Oil painting worthwhile 
Leonardo DA Vinci, look out!
What is she really smiling about?

(((The popularity of the Mona Lisa increased in the mid 19th century 
because of the Symbolist movement. The painting was thought to 
encompass a sort of feminine mystique.)))



~~JAMES EARL JONES
His award winning voice, rough like stones
Darth Vader, Mufasa, stuttering jubilee  
When I die can he be the one narrating my eulogy?

(((I love James, I'm a star wars freak... <--- yup that's me)))



~~SADDAM AND BIN LADEN
Were very bad, bad men
Causing chaos throughout America & Afghanistan,
HATERS OF THE USA: they should be called the Arab ku klux klan

(((Occupation: Terrorist~ makes me wonder if they went to the same school.)))
                                                                   


~~ADOLF HITLER
The world worse killer
Commander of the oxymoron  Nazi  
Losing at his own game of Yahtzee 

(((The Most Hated Murderer of all time)))



~~YOUNG ANNE FRANK
Her diary worth more than any bank
Famous Jewish victims of the Holocaust
Her legacy teaches that hate is an exhaust 

(((Anne Frank's diary remains one of the most moving and widely read 
accounts of the Jewish experience during the Holocaust.))) 



~~JOAN OF ARC
Angel in an era so dark
an epic hundred year war
her visions is what she payed for.

(((Joan of Arc, also called the Maid of Orleans, a patron saint of France 
and a national heroine, led the resistance to the English invasion.))) 



~~BB KING
Can really sing
Stand by me...
But, can he sting like a bee

(((BB KING~ could not help but wonder if he was a lover and a fighter.)))



~~LADY GAGA
Is no piano sonata,
Madonna wannabe, is she.
Watching her videos make me laugh till I pee.

(((Lady Gaga is Unique as can be!)))


by;p.d.

for battle of the clerihew


Details | Free verse | |

Mario and Luigi: The Untold Story

(Submitted to Heather's Famous Couples/Duos contest. I hope you all like!)  :)

“Save me, Mario & Luigi!”

As they both read the Princess’ distress call,
Written in dark cherry lipstick on his walls
“Mama-Mia, I just painted this damn thing”, Luigi whined.

They ride off into smiling clouds’ horizon
Knocking out hopeless Goombas & misunderstood Turtle shells
Rapidly exhaled hustles over flagpoles and grassy valleys
To see who will capture her 1st kiss...and NOTHING MORE

Towards that immense castle in the sky,
They climbed against its walls like two dogs in heat for the 1st time

Into un-screened window archways, they dive in
Their eyes stare threateningly against the Dinosaur-Lizard cross-breed reject

Mario & Luigi begin dropping mushrooms to see stars and taste invincibility.

But, like this battle, it only lasted 10 seconds!

For out from the Onyx darkness, a new hero emerged
Green, not with envy, but of Greek god magnificence
And a strut that would make a pole dancer jealous

He struck down with such brute force, tearing down the gates of Heaven & Hell
Jesus & Lucifer were pissed

It was Yoshi the dinosaur!

With one fell swoop & a high pitched Braveheart-style cry,
He starts dropping eggs like he’s been ovulating for days
Tossing them with such focus & epic awesomeness against his enemies
Knocking them down one by one

He gracefully sweeps up the Princess, staring down towards his enemies
In a condescendingly lifted face, places an old-school Boombox on the ground
With loud decibels of MJ’s “Don’t stop ‘til you get enough!”,
Yoshi pulls out & drops the mic, embracing gravity’s last word

The Princess devilishly smiles at her new green hero and rides him into the sunset.

Game over.

©Drake J. Eszes


Details | Light Poetry | |

A Troll in My Trunk

A Troll in My Trunk
(Inspired by the YouTube video ‘A Monkey in your Trunk’)


Ok! Some crazy person made a YouTube video, about a monkey in your trunk.
Yep, my Trolls saw it, on their new cell phones. Now, Who would of thunk?
Honestly! I tried to take those phones away. Guess What? They said no! Way! 
They’re twitter and app crazy and with technology, are quite ready to stay.

Where did they get those fancy phones? And just where did I first, go wrong?
A modern, savvy, techno Troll… It seems to me, is just so very, very wrong!
How will I ever keep up with their mayhem, if I’m a step behind? Surely, You see?
Well, all that came to a screeching halt, on a bridge, not long ago. Eweeee!

Then I had a flat, and was thinking whom to call, while in the middle of a bridge.
When suddenly a Troll popped out of my trunk. Yes, for sure, he really, really did!
Now Trolls don’t fit in little trunks, so my spare, in there, wouldn’t be, in play. Hey!
That is, unless, a tire pancake is what you really need. But that just wasn’t me today.

So I kicked the flat and wished to myself, that all 4 tires could some how, be the same.
So Trolls being Trolls, he preceded to flatten the other three as I cried out, No! NO!
Then I muttered ‘Gee now, how am I to get the car to the other side’ Yep, then I cried!
You guessed? The Troll picked up the car and strolled off pushing the other cars aside. 

When I looked back, my Troll was now trying to take tolls, yea, wouldn’t you know?
This in turn caused still more problems, for the other cars left pushed aside in the roe.
A policeman had been called! Yep, the Sheriff of Crazyland, was now there to behold.
He gave tickets to me for disturbing the peace, and stopping the traffic flow. Oh, Woe!

Being annoyed, our Troll then picked the sheriff up, and threw him off the bridge.
Thank goodness, the bridge was small, close to the creek and also just a little smidge.
When he crawled up, his eyes were as hard as nails, and Yes, he threw the book at me.
Wet and soggy as that might be, he wouldn’t believe in my innocence at all, you see.

Soooo… I now reside in our small City Jail, as the Troll was sent home, you bet!
But oddly, there was more peace in here, than at my home, I would ever truly get.
Instead of paying my fines, I decided to do some, VERY quiet time, without my brood.
Unfortunately, without me to control my ditzy Dragon and bunch, craziness ensued.

The town was now determined to get me out… So piled them all in my cell, all about.
They won! The louts! But not without Grandpa Troll first blocking all their YouTube! 
Hey silly Trolls... Take that!

Verse has it's own rhyme... By Carol Eastman and Hubby


Details | Lyric | |

A poem for YOU

In this world of Uncertainties I’m the man that you can trust And in my words of sincerity That my love would never last. And if you could only feel, what i feel for you You can ask me “why?” so you can see the truth Like our love that tightens the rope, Like a light that would give us hope. As you watch the dark skies Let me grab the moon for you, And as I catch the bright stars That’s the way you can see me through As this planet turns as it always will And things go wrong and you don’t know what to feel Hold my hand for it will make us strong Like a wind, we will carry on The wind blow that sings a hymn for you For they know what does love means for the two Love is blind, and not deaf So how’s success if you’re not ready to bet? In this poem with full of rhymes, A full of love, Babe can you be mine? I don’t expect too much from you Why should I? If you complete my whole. “Till death do us part” that’s what they have said But why do struggles crash them ahead? Don’t ask me when my love will last, To count all of our quarrels, is that a must? Now and Forever is all that I promise No day dreaming and without reminiscence As the matter of time, as the time passes by Together we stand, together you and I
A poem for my Girlfriend for our anniversary :) pls comment and rate... you are free to judge and criticize my work :) God Bless


Details | Lyric | |

Beer Pong Balls

-Sing along to Jingle Bells-


Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you sink, the more I drink.
It's Christmas, let's get drunk!

Heeeeeyyyy!

Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you make, the more I take.
It's Christmas, lets get drunk!


Drinking Michelobe... Sipping on some Jack...
We just made two cups... Give us the balls back!
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Guys can finger cups... Girls know they can blow...
I'm hall of fame, In this game, cause I drink like a pro

OOOOhh!

Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you sink, the more I drink.
It's Christmas, let's get drunk!

Heeeeeyyyy!

Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you make, the more I take.
It's Christmas, lets get drunk!


A day or two ago... Drinking Miller Light...
I had won eight games, and then got in a fight...
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
We ran out of beer... Had to get some more...
If I'm alive, then I can drive, let's all go to the store!

OOOOhh!

Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you sink, the more I drink.
It's Christmas, let's get drunk!

Heeeeeyyyy!

Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you make, the more I take.
It's Christmas, lets get drunk!


Details | Rhyme | |

A Good Appearance With A Bad Intention

My adored is here, Oh Vincent! Charming with your perfume's scent not minding if it costs just 50 cent. Wishing to lean on you and form a crescent on your well endowed body which is like an expensive present. Stealing a kiss from me is decent but pulling me back and forcefully keeping my legs bent; even with my resistance, you would not relent makes you a pathetic Dog 100 percent. And I am regretful of my time badly spent. I escaped, when you were a little complacent as you rudely smiled like a badly trained Adolescent. And all these while, I thought you were innocent. How dare you try to penetrate without passing through my consent? Now that the beast in you, you represent, the only thing I have to say to you is REPENT!


Details | Light Poetry | |

Dragons Zoo Field Trip

My son came home from school one day, wanting permission to go, to the Zoo.
His field trip sparked a riot. Can you imagine at home, what immediately ensued?
Trolls, Dragon, the weird frogs, plus a sundry of forest folk, all wanted to come.
Woe is me, I thought, as I fainted dead away. Can I even remotely get this undone?

Our neighbor witch, thought it a marvelous thing. She definitely wanted to be there.
But then, now did the entire, blooming forest folk! Can you imagine the result? I swear!
Naturally, the Zoo said no! Then I offered them the rights for the resulting video show.
Naturally, the News Guys wanted to come, for a reality story, all new and fully aglow.

Yes, ‘The Wild is about to meet, the Caged.’ Came the headlines from everywhere.
The witch put a spell on everyone; to successfully return us, without a worry or care.
Then she zapped… Us… There. The Penguins are barbarians, The Weird Frogs cried.
But jumped in, for a good time as the Puffins taught them to ride, their water slide.

The Polar Bears got a chance to play, for a change, with our fun filled Forest Bears.
The dragon went straight to the monkey house, and let them all out… of their lair!
Never fear, he let them ride to the sky, with acrobatics included for them, in the ride.
You see, they’re a curious lot, and literally wanted to see where the human’s abide.

But when they finally saw, what it looked like, they gladly went back, to their home.
Not enough trees for their liking… and cars trapping people in their cages, of chrome.
Now the beavers loved the otters, and the seals made the Trolls roar with, endless fun.
The seals put on a show and the Trolls paid a toll by rubbing their tummies, every one.

The Walrus joined in for the water fun, spraying everyone, and giving the Trolls a ride.
No one was bored, that day, as the giraffes watched happily, from where they reside.
Then as the night came to a close the dragon, did a spectacular, fireworks show.
I’d been near dead with worry. But the day went great, as I finally, came to know.

For once in my life, every thing was grand… as we safely made it home, though late.
Too bad Dragon did sneak back, to bring the Barbarian Penguins, home to our lake.
The next morning I got up to a God-awful noise for the penguins wanted to eat, now!
I could hear them, though they were in my recliners, all down by the shore. I avow!

Not to mention, the Zoo authorities had caught dragon on videotape, start to finish.
I thought we were in trouble, until a truck arrived with the penguins breakfast fish.
The authorities had come along, and wanted them kept right where they are. Oh Joy!
It appears renovations were scheduled, for their beloved home, at the Zoo. So enjoy!

Apparently, this would be their temporary home, so with fond regards… 
They left and… I put Dragon in charge… Can’t wait for the results… to start! 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Bearagroves and bully frogs

While cleaning house I over heard the Trolls talking down below.
There was to be a battle in the grove, between a bear and a Troll.
They said this would be the end, to beat all ends, as only one would win.
Well, I’m a mother… so this worried me… on how this would all end.

A Troll and a Bear… fighting…I feared nothing good could come of that.
So, I had to find a way to come between them, to stop them in their tracks.
I talked to the Trolls, who said: this was a thing they… simply… had to do.
In fact, they said they’d all go, and would cheer it on, till it was finally through.

They left when I wasn’t looking, and I had to be there to stop it… so I ran.
The battle would be in the Bear groves where the bully frogs all live.
First I tripped over a root, breaking my shoe, so barefoot… I continued on.
Then I fell into the creek, coming up with mud everywhere, all around.

Brambles caught my shirt tearing my sleeve, but I certainly, wouldn’t give up. 
I’ll admit, that Panic does some strange things, as I continued… to… speedup.
Watching where I was going would have been a really good thing, I agree.
But, I ran into the grove, a mad woman, with pepper spray in my grasp, you see.

Low and behold, I’d been wrong! There was a card game quietly going on.
The bears and the Trolls in their best clothes: and all sat there, giving a yawn.
It then dawned; this was a poker game of high stakes, which I had come upon.
The bully frog referees and everyone looked at me, like my mind was totally gone.

Actually, that’s probably right... Maybe, with worry… I truly had… gone mad.
Quietly I sat down, to watch the game… until the bear won it all… how sad.
Embarrassed, I tried to quietly sneak out: very quickly, you can be assured.
Low and behold, I ran straight into a tree… getting their attention, for sure.

Laughing hilariously, one of the Trolls picked me up, and carried me home.
He said, he was afraid for my health, should I be allowed to further roam.
They were right of course, but my mind will be better by tomorrow morn 
You’ll see… I’ll prove it… when my next new poem is born…


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Mistake

'Love is patient'
'Love is kind'
The thought of love
Can turn you blind.

But... Now we must
Take some steps
To verify those
Deep regrets.

The first problem you see
Was that. . .
He lied about
You being fat

That in turn 
Led ya to
Beleiving that
He 'accepted' you.

Mirrors were made
For a darn good reason
And thinking you are nothing special
Is high, high treason...

But no!
He's perfect
And no! He's kind
Seriouslly sister
You've lost your mind.

The recipe to love Is that
You have to love your self.
It's not about your facial features
Or the size of ya belt.

The man should be a rock to lean on
And not! A heartless swine.
So please next time. Do pick him wisely
Make sure he has a spine!


Details | Acrostic | |

Cookies

Cookies are addictive!
OoOoH! Here's one to snatch!
Okay...where's the chocolate chips?
Kraving too many of these treats
I want some now! But...I might get beeefy...
Every bite is mouthwatering, soft and crisp
Should I take another cookie?


Details | Light Poetry | |

The Job Interview

The HR person called me in… I was turning gray… Was he even twenty-one?
I wondered if the interview would go well, as he did fung shui the chairs around.
Offered a caramel expresso mocha late decaf, I told him I took my coffee black.
Alas my friend, it got progressively worse, this: our proverbial generational gap.

He asked me to explain, how I’d be the best personnel fit, for this illustrious job.
Ah! Experience I had in abounds, as I pulled out a 100-page resume, neatly bound.
That question, had me off and running, but I knew, I was in some trouble when…
I saw his eyes glaze over, and he ask me, ‘Have we made it into space yet?’

He smirked, when he ask, about ‘Recent’ applicable education, in the last 5 years.
I condensed my course certifications till he nearly fell off, his crazy chair, my dear!
He ask the projects worked on, unfortunately, all were government secret classified. 
So I added some of the numerous skills, that had been applied, till he almost cried.

I started with the job descriptions, but he didn’t like… that the names were so long.
And the abbreviations normally used, in this line of work, almost blew his mind.
Though I also got the feeling, he may have thought that I’d finally, lost mine, since…
My accomplishments had scads of stuff he’d never, ever, be able to comprehend...

You know, ‘things’ about the job, HR doesn’t care about or bother to be clued in.
Luckily all was saved, before the interviewers’ jaw, hit the floor around his chair.
Using a power point presentation, illustrations appeared, giving him a better clue.
I even gave him a burned DVD, set to the music of  ‘Live Free or Die Hard’, too.

He ask about items, he’d never heard of, you know, from way before he was born.
But got the feeling he’d be more attentive, talking about a computer game going on.
I didn’t lie about a thing, it’s not my fault some Companies are now closed down!
But I felt things were somewhat a success, as security finally came to lead me out…

Unfortunately, in the end, they hired a young one, and I couldn’t understand why.
He was a quiet, little, studious kid, who didn’t say a thing, but had stars in his eyes.
He didn’t understand any of the work involved, but his pay would be next to none.
But that's whom they got: until that company closed for work that couldn’t be done.

All because the HR Department didn't help them get the workers they did need.
I became self-employed, developing computer games, all the rage! Oh So Sweet!
Yes, I became a millionaire, with my own company, without HR, anywhere seen!
Now, we develop rockets to go into space, where I felt, that HR person should be.

Dedicated to all those Middle aged people stressed out after looking for a job.
Wife and Hubby Collaboration


Details | Light Poetry | |

Dragon Hood

Yes, I read my Dragon, the story of good old… ‘Robin Hood’.
You know, the first super hero, who was really… super good.
Now, with Dragon, things don’t always end up, exactly… as they should!
His eyes lit up fiercely, as he ran thru the door… toward great knighthood.
Yea! He’s now Dragon Hood… Dragon Hood… Crazy Dragon Hood!

Grabbing his green cape, he ran to the park, yea, where he… then stood!
Grandpa Troll grabbed a stick, like little John, to stop… that Dragon Hood.
Minstrel Frogs started, playing his song, with lutes in hand… as they should.
Cause Dragon Hood, was about to be, ‘Feared by the bad. Loved by the good’.
Dragon Hood, Dragon Hood, Yes…Dragon Hood!

The Penguins followed, as Merry Men, with sticks in hand, yea… made of wood.
He would ‘Steal from the Rich, Give to the Poor’, Yea… You know he would!
He looked for, the Sheriff who, was most villainous of all… that ever stood.
Yea, Dragon Hood, knew he would be, ‘Feared by the bad. Loved by the good’. 
Dragon Hood, Dragon Hood, Dragon Hood!

Now up, drove the Sheriff, of crazy land, to patrol the park… as he daily should.
He stopped to talk, to Dragon Hoods’ maid, Lady Cathy Ellison, of maidenhood.
Above all others, Lady Cathie would have, to be saved… from great villianhood!
Dragon Hood was, ready to be, ‘Feared by the bad. Loved by the good’.
Steamed was… Dragon Hood, Dragon Hood, Dragon Hood!

In the nick of time, Grandpa Troll wrapped, Dragon Hood in his… very own hood.
You can’t fight, if you can’t see, so our Little John, drug him home…like driftwood.
Lady Cathie, and Lord Jack, came for tea, and to save the day… in brotherhood.
A story began, of Dragon hood stopping, a witches’ darkness… and her sisterhood.
Yea! He believed it… our Crazy Dragon Hood, Dragon Hood, Dragon Hood!

We thanked Dragon Hood, for saving the day, by lifting our cups… in great song.
Lady Cathie kissed, Dragon Hood’s nose, after Lord Jack, knighted him…erelong.
We told Dragon Hood, how He’d saved us all, from the direst …fate and it’s fallout.
Dragon Hood, the crazy Lout, was amazed, by it all, but he believed… had not doubt!
He’d saved us all… from the sheriff and his evil fiendish… witch sisterhood.
So ends our tale… of the Great… Dragon Hood, Dragon Hood, Dragon Hood!

Refrain: (Every body sing!)
Dragon Hood, Dragon Hood… riding thru the glen, 
Dragon Hood, Dragon Hood… with his merry men. 
Feared by the bad, loved by the Good! 
Dragon Hood, Dragon Hood, Dragon Hood!

And thank you Robin Hood in all your stories, and songs.


Details | Epic | |

The Idiom and the Oddity Part7 Fina

So, as we say in Greece
That’s where I’ll End my story
For the things that happen next
Weren’t made for song of glory

So many Tails, throughout the ages
Have spoke of love and loss
Of  passions and betrayals
The triumphs and the cost

But never was one told
That meant as much to me
To launch a thousand ships
And survived through history

And with every great Greek story
There’s a lesson to be learn
So, I’ll leave you with this message
Now the last page, has been turned 


The moral still stands true
Throughout all time, which passes
Don’t steal a person’s love away
And beware Greeks bare-ing asses 

THEE END                   Authored By Jerry T Curtis 
                                       08/10/2014
                                       The Year of The Horse


Details | Light Poetry | |

Star Trek Rules

Star Trek Rules!

It was time for: Comic Con! Comic Con! Dragon wanted to come, too!
But then so did everyone else at Troll Lake… Hey, now, wouldn’t you?
We made some really cool costumes… for the costume show, my Dear.
You can guess, ‘Star Trek Rules!’ It couldn’t be anything less, you hear. 

Our favorite nighttime popcorn show, would truly now, become a part of our lives! 
The penguins got permission from the zoo; to go… great publicity, so very wise.
McRacoon had his Las Vegas Dragons get us, and a mock saucer, there, all on time.
Naturally pre-registered and in costume, we strutted in! Hi there! Began the playtime!

Man we were really cool, as the guest actors ask for OUR autographs. For Real!
Pictures were snapped, and a poster made, to be signed by everyone, so cheerful.
It’s highest bid, given to charity, would be a nice touch, for everyone in our crew.
The costume show was set outside, where all the dragons, could fly in, or out, too.

And a small mock, star ship was landed on stage, so we could enter with more flare.
Lord a mercy! Look at us! We’d never be like this, again! We were like stars, I swear!
Grandpa Troll, became Mr. Spock, naturally, because he was so, very clever and wise.
Our neighbor witch, was Uhura, due to her great ability to, protect everyone’s’ lives. 

Borp the Frog became Sulu, so he could take us up to Borp speed, with laser effects!
Hubby was Scotty, with the Tinker Trolls in engineering, for special effects, so perfect!
The penguins were the beloved crewmembers, running with lasers, all over the place.
The powder puff tribbles, got wet, so yes, became the ‘Trouble with Dribbles’, in space.

The Mary River Turtles wanted to be Checkov. What a groovy, exciting, security team.
Dragon wanted to be Captain Kirk, you know, like totally, in command… At the scene!
All agreed, I’d be a great Dr. McCoy, since I always get to, kiss the Boo- Boo’s away.
The Weird Frogs were the Aliens, chasing everyone mindlessly, around, the set, that day.

And the Las Vegas Dragons, became attacking star ships, over which our lasers won!
The crowds went wild, and we won first place in their hearts, as well as, in their minds!
Everyone had, such a good time, so the Trek continued, well after, when we got home.
That year Comic Con made the National news, and of course, nobody, was surprised!

As the residents of Troll Lake and Acorn Falls… continue to Trek on… every day!

By Mike and Carol Eastman… 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Medieval Camelot

I’m sure you’ve heard of the Great King Arthur and Lancelot’s well-known fame.
But there was yet another knight, of great glory and great fame, never named.
His name was whispered constantly, everywhere, around those hollowed halls.
For no one wanted to be near when he passed by, on his famous unerring walks.

A knight so very gallant, that he would bow to: every fashion of maiden, high or low.
So fierce his life could not be taken, no matter how sharp the blade, they did throw.
A musical quality followed him everywhere, and his livery was absolutely divine.
He would have been the perfect knight, except for one minor, itty bitty, tiny flaw…

What was his name, you may ask, and what led to such glory and illustrious fame?
He was Sir Dragon Sparkle Farts, and yes, you can guess, what earned him that name.
You see, an evil witch, he once did fight, and yes… he absolutely won, most verily.
But before the witch became undone, she sprinkled a curse upon his own, to be.

Whenever others are about, you guessed it, yet again; he had sparkle farts, my friend.
Do not laugh; he was to all, a dearest friend. Tho the trouble caused, was rampant, in the end.
You see, in that time the villages were all made with beautifully made, thatched roofs…
He flew betwixt and between, yet, an occasional spark now airborne, did veer off, poof!

So for the most part he walked in town, though the wheat fields were often, set off.
At least the castle was made of stone, though many a tapestry did not survive, well off.
Indeed, a water bucket brigade, became put at his disposal, simply all the time, amen!
And nobody did tickle him, for fames from both ends, became quite rampant then.

Laughter did, yes, the same… But hiccups brought utter flame throwing despair, to all. 
Still he was a beloved knight, so the round table was set to keep his back, to the wall.
The knights all stuck together, thru thick and thin, and yes, even thru his sparkle farts.
But with great sadness: of why such a fierce warrior, could be forgot, I now impart.

You see, his name Sir Dragon Sparkle Farts, did not ring, minstrels romantic thoughts.
Historians, thought his references, just crude, forgettable laughable jokes, The Sots!
But know, when Camelot finally fell, and even he could not stop that inevitable tide.
He flew away, to the great blue North, they say, where with snow and ice, he abides.

Now, young and old, do not be sad… For the moral of this fable holds: 
All he did was: for his friends and the Greater Good… He cared not for Glory or Gold.


Details | Epic | |

A Clown in A Class

A Clown in a Class
In a class sit all the students
Cheering up for every moment
A terrible noise the students make
When a boy makes a joke shake
Bad boys let their life at stake
And then it happens;

In a class stands the teacher
Getting angry on every bad creature
When he speaks the whole class crumbles
Into a loud noise of screams and laughter

He’s like a clown to the class
The one on which the whole class laughs
He stands in the class like a clown
On his back a big black gown
On which it is written “I am a clown”

He teaches the class in every way
But they get worse everyday
He jumps and falls on the ground
With his crooked nose turned round and round

He acts as a King 
And wears the crown
But he’s some old string
From out of the town
____________________________________________________


Details | Epic | |

My Bitter Sweet Dance With A Stranger

She rotates under the balance of my hands sweet memories we derive unfamiliar dance steps, mistakes already reaching five but with the reception of her smile, I thrive. The stream of her tender archive into it I completely dive even when our minds sometimes disagree with the jive mysteriously to our pleasure, both hearts connive. Gradually clicking and stepping the motion is set, we drive our bodies, dependent on each other like the bee and its hive envious cohesion, sweet emotions and heated passions we unconsciously contrive our heartbeat, impulses and gazes taking over despite the melody of the music so alive. The licks of our skins and my loan of her waist are taking this dance to a level we won’t survive a lot in both minds which all stimulate and also deprive. Our thoughts so secretive yet having one loud voice as we strive the gossip of my body rhythm says it all “I am so ready to swive” The bell of caution rings my senses and morality revive as the sign of a “no trespass” is conspicuous on her delightful finger.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Do Not Interrupt

There are times, doing something, you think is good, can simply back fire, on you.
And I took Dragon to watch a movie of The Grand Canyon, yes, flying thru.
Just to be safe, we sat in the back, you know, way up, in the nosebleed, high!
And it became such a thrilling ride, such scenery, constantly passing you by.

You could almost reach out to touch the views, mouth watering photographic art.
But Dragon started to tap his feet, as his hands flew up, to cover his beating heart.
I’ve never seen him, so excited, over anything, EVER, in all, of his life, so bold.
Now I began to worry, as I noticed his wings began to twitch and want to unfold.

I gently put my hand over his, as I gently tried to calm him, with words, to interrupt..
He wouldn’t turn away from the screen, as ‘Do Not Interrupt!’ Did soundly erupt.
I recognized that comment, I’d used it a time or two, on him, now on myself, recast.
Now, here came my comeuppance, I did realize, for I was getting nowhere, fast!

Next, I rubbed his back shoulder muscles gently, to soothe the twitching, that arose.
You know, the ones that allow him the power, to take off and fly, yea, you got it, those!
Now this was not going to end well, from my point of view, as he shrugged off my touch.
At least, a beautiful sunset began slowly falling, near the end of the movie, as such.

By this time, I was, totally, trying to shake him out of his mesmerizingly total trance.
All we had to do, was last a few more minutes, but now he was beginning, to prance!
He was SO impassioned that he wouldn’t let me interrupt. I began to panic, oh, so well.
For the life of me! I couldn’t see any way, to break the movies, very, rapturous spell.

All I could begin to see; was that this was not going to end so very well, gently put!
So I begged him, to not try, to do… what he wanted to do! As I stomped on his foot!
In the end, all I did was piss him off, as the soared off, so impassionedly, into the view!
Well darn! That hadn’t worked out well! I sighed! As I watched the inevitable, come to!

Naturally I was there for him, when he hit the IMAX screen. With a sudden Kersplat!
After all, what are families for, but to be there, when we do stupid things, like that!
And we all do, something, so strange and crazy… in our illustrious lives, somewhere.
Naturally we were banned from the IMAX! And the screen would need extensive repair.

A vet came for Dragon, as newspapermen with questions, did show up, Oh Drat! 
As I talked to the vet!  What did I say, to them? Ha! You guessed it! ’Don’t interrupt!’
Needless to say they weren’t happy and the 5 o’clock news was my wall. Kersplat!


Details | Narrative | |

A Quiet Exit

A Quiet Exit


Poetry is disciplined

However, sometimes at the executive table
when a situation is not going according to plans
It's better to excuse yourself because of evil man

however, before leaving, relief a quiet fart
then make the exit,  gracefully glance
 over your  shoulder and smile
watch and observed who sense your present.

Ladies and Gentlemen have a wonderful day!


Details | Haiku | |

Dancing Angels

Angels in heaven
Dancing on a small puddle
Always stay afloat


Details | Free verse | |

Ridiculous Me

Watch this scene with both eyes and try not to blink C: --> 

I stood there... silently
Like a predator near prey 
I sneak behind YOU

You weren't even aware of it!! Ha-ha! 

I made YOU jump hIgH
Like a startled hare
I chuckle and smile

You know that mischievous smile of mine? 

Your reaction was
PRICELESS - you were so upset
But YOU forgave me

Well...I'm flattered. . . 

We laugh'd together (just like the good times)
In a chorus - our volume
Picked up extreme sound

Believe me - I could hear our laughter from a mile away!

But I'm glad I did
My best to make you giggle

Ridiculous me... 
Wouldn't you agree?


Details | ABC | |

The Vent

im livin in a world, where all eyes on me.
trying to curve my own route.
but route 66 keeps finding its way to me.
ive been plenty sick, in all the events layed before me.
even when i reflect to my lowest points
i dont regret any of the choices
That I’ve deployed in my era
A lot of it by error, but hey
We live in hell conditions and there ain’t no air condition 
Or any guidelines when life throws you in the sidelines
But when hindsight twenty twenty hits
You’ll begin to understand life’s a bunch of equations and you in the mix of it
An you’ll have to think twice, before running into a situation and becoming the best of it
Situations
it’s what got me here, it’s what got us here
Ran with my thoughts blazing up to her place and
Guess what happened next
She opened up heaven’s gate
And just before late I slipped out
Simply put 
I’m a Grown ass man
Doin his thing, waitin to blow up like an old land mine
In doin what he drools over
But time after time 
Something decides to creep up and cover the light
Lost my way
Then I revoked to ever know, I ever thought that way
But in the in between time, that in the mean time 
Spent a lot of time
Gettin pissed off just to medicate and lift off
Don’t need Don Perion to sip off
Already had my way with the bottle
Even thought to get back with the trouble and rejoin the hustle
That’s just what happens to a man who really knows his old ways
Whos tired of making ends meet and ponders getting back to the streets.
Memory sets in and he remembers an O.G. saying
No matter how tall your pockets stand when you ball
Eventually times gonna make you fall
Fall
And I as I pull myself together 
I don’t wanna end up like the twin towers rubble
I mean no offence to nine eleven but at that time I probably could have used a reverend
But all that’s irrelevant now
because i live with a different perspective now

there you go you made it to the end :-) comment if you like, constructive criticism wanted as well.


Details | Free verse | |

Park The Car

Her love was a parking garage kiosk


Take your ticket when you enter

The money saved is legal tender 
                                                                                                                                   Places money in the slot

Park the car in open spot


Her love was a parking garage kiosk


Promptly throws her arms around him

Said she'd never ,ever liked him

Plants a kiss right on the lips

As she's  going leaves a tip


Her love's a parking garage kiosk


It's a different story different man 
                                                                                                                                      The miners gold is in the pan

Mounts with fury and with ease

Makes a slush fund if you please 


Kiosk


Drive the car and the yellow mustang

Go to the moon and drink some Tang

She feels no guilt or no sorrow

Pays the ticket we"ll meet tomorrow


Park the car


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?


Details | I do not know? | |

Green Fingers

Dave, who when his time came to retire
Thought he'd have a quiet life
But instead he soon discovered
That he had a nagging wife.
He acquired an allotment  to pass the time
An hour or two of solitude out of the house.
A relaxing day in the summer sun.
Far away from the over bearing spouse.
Then one day he had a shock.
While relaxing with a cold beer.
In the distance, rolling down the path,
A nightmare come true, his worst fear.
His wife came ever closer.
Wearing a massive grin.
She put out her arms to greet.
And kissed him on the chin.
'I have come to help you'
She said with a smile.
'I will come here every day.
And be with you for a quite a while'
Now he did not fancy this one bit.
And tried gently to decline.
But  his wife insisted. and said together 
They must spend more time.
So he asked her 'what would you like to do.?'
'Oh just give me the spade.' she said.
So reluctantly he did as she asked
And brought the spade down on her head.
Then he dug a fresh new plot.
And buried her in the ground.
Her skill in the garden was proved true.
With a good harvest all year round.
But he was eventually caught.
And how was most absurd.
For his wife had the final say.
As always had the last word.
Of his fruit and veg Dave was proud
Set up a business, sold door to door.
Until somebody noticed something sprout.
It was not a spring onion they saw.
Dave goes over the day again and again.
As in his cell he lingers.
For what was seen poking out the ground.
Were two solitary green fingers.


Details | Bio | |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.


Details | Couplet | |

What they didn't tell her about Fairy tales

They told me from the time I was two
“One day prince charming is coming for you!”

They made me read these inspiring fairy tales
About mermaids, evil step mothers and 
servants whose childhoods were unfair,

They told me that even if I was troubled and had to put up with a lot,
That someday my adversaries would have to surrender
to me and scrub my pots,

They told me I wasn’t alone; animals would be my friend
So I tried that, then one night they bit me, 
I suffered another tragic end

They said to always be kind-hearted that’s what all man want,
When I got into high school I found out no one wanted to talk to the fat girl in the corner who ate chocolate glazed croissants 

They told me to find seven dwarfs, a crew of little people
My school only had four of them 
Their names were; scuba, geek freak, muffin top and meatball

In eleventh grade they said, "ask God for a fairy godmother to get a dress for the prom"
I went to a Catholic Church, got one for 75 cents, 
with red stripes and one missing arm

They said after graduation the wise thing to do would be to go to college 
and Not rush into getting married
So I got knocked up my senior year by the school janitor,
His name is "Prince Larry!"

I dropped out a month before school ended and you’ll never guess where I reside
I am currently employed doing Disney parties, where I get to dress up as all the great characters who told me those fabulous lies.
 
Got to Love fairy tales…

By: Sabina Nicole
1-24-13


Details | Light Poetry | |

Bruce Willis To The Rescue

Bruce Willis is at the Super Bowl with blimps and tunnels to run thru!
Run! Bruce Willis! Run! The bad guys are after you!
His wife is in the seats wondering if she’ll be safe!
Honey! Your Hubby is BRUCE WILLIS! No one could be MORE SAFE!

If something is not right! If terrorists are running a muck!
Bruce Willis to the rescue! Thank you very much!
With Miley Cyrus as the ½ time act! Don’t worry anyone!
Before she begins to twerk! He’ll tackle her to the ground!

Are the vendors charging way too much? What will you do?
Simply call Bruce Willis! He’ll do whatever  there needs… to do!
As everything goes into sudden death over time…
Bruce Willis to the rescue…That in unless…

Chuck Norris is there for the other blooming team!!!
Then Run! Bruce Willis! Run! Chuck Norris is after you!




Details | Haiku | |

ZOOKEEPER

Lookin' after pests
Keepin' a CLOSE eye on 'em
"Those wild animals!"

Roamin' around zoo
Searchin' for sneaky monkey
Hidin' in a tree

Zookeeper gets mad
"Where's Marty, the smartypants!?"
"He TOOK my cage keys!"


Details | Rhyme | |

Busy Busy Busy

I'm far too busy can't you see
Too busy to write poetry
So please forgive this silly rhyme
I really do not have the time
To write an epic verse or three
I'm far too busy can't you see

So many things I have to do
And all by yesterday, it's true
Then as the day comes to a close
I collapse into a chair and doze
And if I dream more poetry
I'll place it here for you to see

Before this day comes to it's end
I'll give you some advice my friend
Use every moment that's the key
I'm far too busy can't you see?




Thanks for the inspiration - you know who you are :)