Birth begins the tragedy in us. Life's
First sound is a blank scream
Against sorrow's hidden portends of strifes
All we know are mirages and dream.
Mother took the news staring at the sky
She must have cried inside
For I have no evidence else. There's no why
For it ... how my rage defied
Her callous front ... he was her first boy
The only hero she spoke well
Of, his name was the formula for joy
In our house: anecdotes tell
Of his escapades ... youth defying fate
He had a cat's tenacity for life
And from evil wills found a golden gate
Of scholarship and exotic wife.
I remember when the years pulled him back
All he came with was a bag
Of books, and a couple suits in novel sack
His eyes time warped, a lag
Of missing years and loneliness enfolding him
But he was handsome still
And my soul cartwheeled at joy's fresh brim
Those moments that he filled
When eyes first contact spelled pride to claim
This aristocrat like a medal
I could wear. So young he was, her true flame
The son of love's sweet recital!
And many days sitting in his shadow, I heard
Him dream big things like stars
Far away, warm things like a fluttering bird
Things made bright to cover scars
In the sore of memory. His mind was his cliff
A risky place in the high winds
And closer to the edge for the Grail he'd drift
O how the giddy world spins!
He died in Kingston: William came and went
And my mother looked at the sky
But until she died, about his memory was silent
And I forever wonder why.
I loved him, you know, he was the first best thing
A poor child had to claim or show
The world ... with him I was no more common. A king
He made me in his gold of glow
Something that I looked forward to meet in me. I,
Like mother, been silence since
But sometimes my heart just heave and would cry
For time this love cannot rinse
And I that moment cannot comprehend, that death
Gave no notice to his lauded day
And like common dust on a wild wind's balmy breath
My brother was swiftly swept away.
Sometimes I wonder.........
Where will I be when I get old
Who will love me for my soul
Thoughts of loneliness cross my mind
Am I running out of time?
It’s so scary in this desolate place
Staring out a window into space
What have I done during my time here on earth?
Who will be waiting on me? Did I earn my worth?
Life passes by really fast
Always thought my time would last
Thinking of my people that have gone on before me
Do they know…...Is that where they’ll be?
Remembering the last smile I saw on his face
Will I have to run his same race
Will they leave me alone to think of my time of the past
Or will they surround me to celebrate and have a blast
Pictures and memories is all that’s left
Tear after tear while I take deep breaths
Stones and lettered monument will be there for me
The sunshine and the storms pass while I sleep
In this narrow place I will lie
Unable to speak, unable to cry
Thy will is done and now time moves on
Who is next? Who will be gone?
Sometimes I wonder……………
By Johnnie Eaves
You shimmering waves on the ocean blue
Dance not again, he cannot dance with you
You weeping forests where the winds wail too
Let your bright tears fall in the pool of dew
The world of pop will never be the same again
The king is dead, and life is a dream so vain.
Did you know the king? Did you listen him sing?
Did you hear his heart breaking like daylight
In each song? Did you see him dance, or bring
Your sense to space invisible wounding his flight?
I was thirteen, just walking away from twelve in
Time when dreams lie broken at the white wall
I heard with his brothers five, and saw him spin
The great magician dancing for each curtain call.
Time spanned dust: a five year old sensation rose
In white clouds with black glory beaming rainbow
"Stop the love you save may your own" had expose
The urgency of his soul: the anathema of scarecrow.
O, but who will listen to the artist's pain? Did you
Stop and think that rage could become so beautiful
On stage? Michael sang and still you had no clue
About the hell he was going through. Twas wonderful
How he became the initiator of our reconciliation. O
"You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back
Where there is love, I’ll be there" they sang, and so
All the while building a bridge between White and Black
"I’ll reach out my hand to you, I’ll have faith in all you do
Just call my name and I’ll be there" but we doomed forgot
What cities were burning, and what he was yearning to do
The subtext to greatness has an eternal sorrow for plot.
When my eyes close for the last time
I hope to have touched so many in my
Life time on my journey of life
Those I meet and left behind
With my smile and loving heart
That never discriminated
And hated in justice felt from the heart
When love it was from deep with in
Protected with faith those loved
And held closes to my heart
Never hated but forgave those who
Try to keep me down and kill my faith
To those who shed a tear for me
I hope to wipe dry with my love not gone
For my loving heart lives on with in each
And every one who knew me as big as my height
I will be with you in heart and spirit
For you will keep alive every time you think of me
Remember the good memories
Relive them when you feel sad that I am gone
For I will be in a better place at rest
Waiting to reunite with each and every one
Much love always
My heart egos and my life drained from me
Simple life I live, I act as I know all
But I know not, no, not even a little
I earnestly seek for recognitions
But my life and my heart is a hole.
An empty vessel, soulless, loveless
I have been succumb by the pain of heart aches
I have become a broken man,
Know not what my future holds
I envy those who went before me, who were acknowledge
I hold on to the little shred of hope in me,
I am being drowned by my own sorrows.
Love, hate, a new beginning and ending of my old self never seems to happen
My wrath against my enemies is nothing for they humor me with insults.
Let not death come to me in misery and despair,
For life is full of joy and full of sorrows.
Love me, as who would love a stranger from nowhere.
Let my sorrows be taken away by the love of many
But at last, no one would.
Don’t cry for me, for no one knows me
They came before my grave and said “who is this man?”
“Why is the name not written?”
It is not written because I am nothing
Don’t shed a tear for the stranger such as me.
Life is like a dream on a calm sea,
As the captain gracefully steer and gently moves its rudder.
The passenger puts their lives in his hands,
A calm sea is the heaven of any sailor.
“So, where is my captain?”
The wind blows every so gently,
But my heart sinks gently into the sea;
Who will mourn for the stranger?
Drowned from my grief,
My faith begins to waver like a ship tossed around by the winnowing wind
My heaven, my calm sea turns against me as I sail the Galilean sea
“Where are thy words that calm the raging storm?”
Ay! I have no peace even in my passing.
I have not thy words of command,
For my faith has been tossed away by the hating winds,
Shallow, empty, and broken I lay here in an unnamed grave.
Only thy mercy will guide me to the third heaven!
Let my sorrows be washed away by the blood of the innocent lamp.
Let thy words be the honey drops for mine,
As this world knows only lies
Blinded by greed and lust,
They seek only to destroy of what they fear.
And my sorrows are tossed away by thy promises.
For thy compassion for lost sheep is great.
"Have I found peace?"
I have, for I know my heart is at rest when my body has aged
And my salvation has come
When I died with thy Words of truth
As tears flow from my reddened eyes
I can see what I have purely missed
As I look up to the dark grey skies
I will always remember our first fist
I sit here and think of your face
The first time I saw your light fluffy cheeks
I always wanted to lay my head on that place
Even when I was buried in my girlfriend’s twin peaks.
You never knew my love for you
I waited until it was too late
I often yearned for a way through
Both your heart and your front gate.
But now you’ve passed away
Slipped through my limp and lifeless fingers
But I still yearn for that fortuitous day
And the smell of your tobacco colour coat still lingers.
As I stare at my homage dedicated to you
I can feel a heart shaped hole called ‘Noah’
My body is conflicted, I don’t know what to do
It’s such a shame that you were found in pieces underneath a lawnmower.
So many holes, and opportunities now
I feel my body grow harder
For you Noah would only allow
One hole to be ventured in farther
As you led there erotically
on the grass that day
with your legs so lovely
I couldn’t take my eyes away
So I didn’t see
The lawnmower draw near
The blades running free
And beginning to career
Ever closer to your toes
To impoverish your heart
I’m the only one who knows
How a love like this does start
To think I won’t see you again
Striding majestically down the Bath Road
And, protecting your shoulders from the rain
Your little tobacco coloured coat
I wish I had been able to say
All this to you when you were alive
I came so close once, that fateful day
When we were standing outside the Beehive
Your hair was golden in the glow
Of the solitary standing streetlamp
Yet still, you couldn’t ever know
My feeling for you or my heart would cramp
And now you’re dead you selfish thing
You’ll never hear me speak these thoughts
You’ll never feel me ‘flap my wings’
Or ogle me as I cavort
But now you’re in the ground
In the darkness and despair
But I have now created a mound
Where I can collect your hair
My heart is soaked in liquid salt
My clothes cling to my body
Although I know that it’s no-one fault
Staring at you was my favourite hobby
Now it’s time to say goodbye
My lovely little pet
My heart still yearns, my eyes still cry
Although we never met
Many a time I passed through trouble
Many a time I passed through pain
I was exploited
I was humiliated
My pride was taken from me
I was consumed by mystery
My wings were taken so I couldn’t fly
What I ate all day was my cry
I asked myself why
And there came a voice say
In your affliction will you learn right
In your oppression will you rise to fight
The sun shines at day
And the stars at night
Arise and see the light
Many a times I passed through trouble
Many a times I passed through pain
High-backed chair facing the corner,
Window over books so cherished
Like the greatest of scholars, but still humble
He was a trove of stories
Air of silence on a place once full
Of stories from a time past,
A time of honor and courage and duty
Of country and spirit; fighting an enemy
Made from indescribable evil.
Tales of valor, sand, and bullets
Lions and machine guns, young men in battle
Fighting for their lives.
Knowing the enemy was like a jackal
Cruel and twisted, an army of evil
He witnessed it all
First hand, in the heat of the day
And cold of night. Tales passed on, spoken
In a way that conveyed such knowledge
That one was to sit in amazement, and hear it
Firsthand from the chair facing the corner.
Like a throne of deep thought.
The day he left this world, I wept.
Seeing him not but a day before,
It was harder than I could have imagined.
The pain is real, but so were the memories
And so the legacy of the veteran lives on.
The chair sat vacant, but I felt him there.
The books on the shelf, the other treasures
Left behind held him here on earth
While the memories anchored him in our hearts.
The man in the chair shall never be forgotten
And the stories shall pass far into the generations.
yea tis history - that end gin shelled a mesh by mit Romney wailin
such below figurative belt mortar attack subterfuge and constant railin
per accusations hurled at barack Obama presidential campaign
lobbed like scud missile grenades from invisible hand no longer m palin
in comparison and hence moot point for republicans to gain
so this joe of a voter re-fused 2 bide time 2 prevent candidate from failin
app laud clinched 2nd term deserved and occupy white house seat a gain
intent i wanna talia 2 acknowledge salient tactics to boost usa now ailin
sasha bravado blasting and gunning futile fusillades
which questionable oppositional stealth indiscriminately fired pell mell
to discredit supreme commander in chief an exemplary persona in the main
such desperate toothless and nail biting tactics
replete with political retaliatory slanderous stockpile bombardment
but rather, he opts to build fracking rainbow coal bridges 2 somewhere
over the rainbow toward future with his omnipotent time tested girders
of righteousness and gravitas quite simple and plain
casting confidence that the democrats rank as the robust strongest train
eclipsing her livid burst of 15 minutes fame that briefly wax than wane!
Peace In The Light
I live in a drywall box
Sitting alone staring at my clocks
With landscape art hanging all around me
Its no wonder inspiration has finally found me
One day my mind forced my hand to start writing
About my parents in Heaven still fighting
Knowing their bodies lie beneath the ground
But believing that is not where there to be found
One night I dreamt of a beautiful house
It was on a sunny hill where I saw cats playing cards with a mouse
There was a young woman sitting on a porch rail
She turned to me and asked why I looked so pale
She told me she did not die
She told me I no longer have to cry
Then all of a sudden I awoke
Asking myself... “Was Mom's death some kind of horrible joke”
The Wake…The Funeral…
The Burial Mass…The Grave
Mom's dream message proved to me
She had risen from her Coffin in the Cave
Sometimes I wonder if Mom and Dad are really dead
Or are they living in my head
Can our parents be more alive than we think
Could they be some kind of Supernatural Link
Some say this life is a trial
With certain emotions recorded in our Spiritual File
We all experience wonder, joy, sorrow and pain
Some days… it’s a challenge just to stay sane
I pray our parents watch over us from afar
I swear sometimes… Their sitting in my car
Maybe when we experience life’s emotions
Our Parents are there recording the commotion
I bet Mom sews all day
She probably still has no time to play
I bet Dad writes all day
Will my sons ever find their way
Someday I will tell everyone
That Heaven maybe closer than the Sun
And even though our parents may not be here
When we take our last breath there is nothing to fear
Because what seems like a very dark day
Is really a small price to pay
So the next time you hear a familiar voice in your head
It could be your parents telling you they are not really dead
And I thank… GOD… I no longer have to write
Because my parents have finally found Peace in the Light
And some day when it’s my turn to go home
I will show my parents this poem
Joseph Adam Elward
I have hid mine heart,
Within a prison cell,
Dark and cold,
Whose key, only you hold.
I have buried mine memories,
Within the sands of time,
None is bare,
Those secrets, only you and I
From thenceforth do we part,
From light and into darkness
do I tarry,
E'en to the close of my time.
The memory of you, doth
E'en as the flowers, sprout on
And as the sun, doth shine,
E'en on the viper,
So I, e'en through the curse of
E'en to the sunset of my life,
These memories, a constant
When you walk outside into the open air
When you look around at all the beauty everywhere
Think of butterflies fluttering all around
Filling the atmosphere from the sky to the ground
When you feel the wind across your face
Remember my love is all over the place
When you see one lone butterfly fluttering by with such beauty and grace
Think of me and the last time you saw a smile on my face
Remember the joy we shared in our lifetime together
The bond we shared was the most precious treasure
You are blessed with memories of our years on earth
Just as God blessed me on the day of your birth
I have moved on to a glorious place
But daily I am still blessed with your loving face
When you see a butterfly, think of me
That is my spirit flying high and free
I watch over you my dear loved ones, each day and night
I am so proud of your choices to live your life right
My love for all of you will continue to flow
I miss throwing my arms around you more than you know
I am flying with Angels in the Heaven’s above
We watch over you always and send down our love
Look for the butterflies with colors so bright
For they host the spirits of loved ones now out of sight
You must keep your chin up and take care of yourself
But remember God sends His Angels to sometimes help
When you least expect it, at a time of great need
That’s when an Angel appears to do a good deed
Keep your eyes open and be prepared
Great blessings will be upon you when you’re least aware
Watch for the butterflies as they flutter around
They will soon appear in your life when they are less likely to be found
My heart is with you as I watch from afar
Angels walk with you wherever you are
Trust in my word and know that many blessings are upon you
For God has sent Angels who will help you through
Hold memories close and cherish those in your life with love
Trust in my word and in the Lord above
Copyright © 2003 Shari E Davis
I picture Kashmir through lightened KL. News of another massacre darkens my eyes
Winds are thirsty there. They continue to taste the young blood.
I groom myself with exquisite things,
Sipping ice tea in ac room, I comfort myself
And Kashmir burns. Kashmir set ablaze
I can smell the warm blood of beaten corpse
Where from winds bought this smell. Somewhere Karbala reborn.
Mosques are being slammed
There windows stoned. And the black boots leave their footprints on Mimber
Even God judges on evidence
There is one Imaam left now; he hides her daughters in his shadow
A blunt knife in his hands; soon he will sacrifice them to keep their innocence
Kashmir is burning. Kashmir is bleeding
And I write.
Army jeep chases the tracks. To find the associated bodies
They are alive now. Soon they will be dead
From Patan to Sopor, And in narrow passages of nostalgic downtown
Ghosts of curfew
Haunt the houses for young souls.
From the Kupwara cantonments, search lights chase emptiness
Nothing is left now. Search lights can’t see inside the graves
A boy there went missing for two days. His father starts digging his grave.
I put my earphones on and I close my eyes. I sleep
While my Kashmir is ablaze
“It’s me poor farmer’s son. Kupwara’s charm, I feel no pain”.
I see him so alive in my dreams.
He chants songs of Mahjoor from his burnt lips. My hands shiver. He has no finger nails.
I see his smoke tanned skin. Same as that of Khayam’s barbeques
He stands at a distance from me. I can still smell kerosene
“Tell my mother to let her heart become cold. Her heart will not bear my state.
Tell my mother to let her eyes become blind. Her eyes will not withstand my sight.”
I follow him towards his tortured body. He tells me to follow the spilled blood.
His blood has made its own Jhelum. I row on it. Until it gets lost in black boots
The story will turn into legend. I find his body no more.
On the streets silence prevails. Nobody has permission to wail.
Sisters are beatifying coffins while brothers look for stones.
For bullets there will be stones
Kashmir is ablaze. She is wailing in grotesque tones.
In Lal Ded hospital a new born cries: Father register me at cantonment then take me out
Death is recruiting in dozens at a time.
Tomorrow is curfew. Death has no curfew pass.
How they want to identity you. Becomes your identity
People burn up all you identity cards.
we always lack
the better word,
a polite reply or
with which to pray,
for better men, a better day,
within to end,
for as we fall upon the truth,
our better words will be of use,
in truth, we say, we will agree,
to end our search,
for words we need…
How can i survive when i can barely peak
And so i cried and cried for weeks
The bitter part it's yet unspoken
But yes the reality had to be taken
Angel took away my sorrow
And made me believe in a better tomorrow
In the genesis i was really hopeless
But i began to flow with nature and so i got happiness
I know in life there comes a time weeping
And nevertheless the time for wishing
And so the sun went down softly
Another night is here again, i breathe slowly
My art is full of bitter compassion
Now how do i tell of my dream-my vision
It was a long time ago
When I first saw your face
And I knew in that instant
My heart was captured in grace.
But how could I know,
If your heart opens its door?
I’m a stranger you don’t know,
Someone you haven’t seen before.
Oh have I tried?
To capture your eye
Oh have I failed?
With tears on my eye.
It was a short time before
When I first talked to you.
Your voices are honey to my ears
And your smile just wiped my tears.
Surely I didn't know
That your smiles are all deceitful
Your lips were speaking out lies
And your beauty was wolves disguise.
I never knew it for sure
Why my heart is still not cure
Its wound was just too painful
And its beat was unsecured.
I wanted you to understand
That all I want is to be your friend
But I didn't know I was speaking the lies
When deep down I was screaming “Good-bye!”
Ever did I believe?
That you would treat me like a thief.
After all those I have tried
You act like I’m a spy.
You’re angels for adults,
But devil to the others.
You have beauty on the outside,
But ugliness kept inside.
I won’t regret of loving you
Nor regret of needing you.
For my heart knew its true love
And it’ll forgive what had happened above.
But I regret a thousand times
For choosing you at first sight
And yes I do regeret more
For playing on love when I was bore.
Haven’t I known your true face now?
But look at me, I still allow
My two-face heart to fall in lust
With the person who’s got no trust!
I called you in a million times
You put me out just one try
My patient had no longer last
And my tears began to dry.
Should I say “Good-bye my love”?
Or should I cry “When will I’m heard”?
It’s just too simple for now I get
That I just wanted to be your friend.
How to abate the loathing
When words mean nothing?
There are moments
In human existence
against baleful fate
One is left
with his thoughts
by all gods
by the world vile
gave him birth
in every spot
on the Earth
Where does his heart belong to
Never will he learn
How to console such a man
When all words would burn?
How to abate the loathing
When words mean nothing?
There is a glare of stray sunlight
daring to reverberate
through spiderwebbed glass I haven't
found energy to fix
in the span of four years.
It is too much of a mirror,
too tangible a thought,
to make new.
It's lithe fingers, thin and bony,
and mockingly bright,
steal over embossed cardstock that arrives, like clockwork,
in deepest sympathy.
And a thornless bouquet of pastels laden with
only draws on blood long lost;
nobody seems to comprehend such an allegory,
or lack there of,
so it can't be carried
over the steps.
"Bloodless On Mother's Day"
First fight for breath,
First cry escapes,
heart beats unending.
Mind dims, years pass.
Lungs tire, heart tears.
To stop is to die.
First fight goes on.
First struggle continues.
But death stalks.
But death stalks.
He loves her.
His love for her never ends.
“Love is patient, love is kind.”
The good book says.
It is your best friend if you think about it.
It is also your worst enemy;
It shows no mercy nor welcomes your white flag.
The sinister disguise of Death and his pale green horse,
Hung in offices, homes, and churches.
Tears paint his face and the rain befriends him.
Hugs, kisses, and condolences:
“Love never dies.”
“Love lasts for eternity.”
“She will always live in you.”
I don’t respond;
I lack the strength.
I have crafted up a bronze statue in my heart.
Forever will my love be for her.
Forever will I be her keepsake.
The consequence of love is not a tragedy as I once believed.
The tragedy is not understanding what love is.
The tragedy is not being loved.
My heart is now the way it should be.
I keep in mind all the time that we spent together every since we were children. You were
my oldest brother who I loved dearly. I looked up to you even though I never showed it. I
loved you even though I never could tell you. I wish I could have told you at least once
that I loved you so you would know how much I cared. I have so many memories of all the
conversations and time we spend and wishing that I could go back to the day when I could
just see your smile and even see your face. I dream all the time for you and hoping that
this senseless murder was not true. How can someone one who you helped in their time of
need just take you from me? I cry day and night asking God why. Why did he have someone
you showed so much compassion for take your life? He took you from me, your brother, mama,
dad, niece and most of all your daughter. It’s going on two years since I heard your
voice. I can remember the funeral and how I was so sick seeing my brother laying there so
peaceful in his casket. All I can do is look at you in your casket in disbelief asking God
why? Why? Why? Why did you have to go away from me? I see you come into my dreams to let
me know you were okay, but still wondering why he would take your life. Did he not see all
you have done for him? I can sometime smell your scent and even see your body on your bed
when I walk pass your room. I have to take a double take to see if you were there playing
a joke on me but I then realize you are gone; gone forever. I know I will see you in
heaven soon, but that is not stopping my pain now. I will never get over you and I am
letting you know I have always loved you, but there will always be a question in my head
Don't be afraid to go back in time and see the life you lived.
Artificial smiles in a world stained with pain.
People you trusted, you deemed as your friends.
Only later they were icing on a cake. No one's understood you.
A book by its cover, they threw you away.
Your heart's vulnerable, breaking to pieces day-after-day.
Don't give up. It's not the end.
If everyone's turned their backs on you, know I'll be always there for you 'till the end.
Like shadows that never fade, it's inevitable for your angel not to walk away.
So don't look down in tears. Just take my hand and I'll kill away the pain.
I'll do all that I can to help you shine bright once again.
Through death and hell, I'll forever be your friend.
On a bed of nails, we won't turn pale.
Don't give up. It's not the end.
When everyone's turned their backs on you,
know I'll be always there for you even after my end.
Six feet under, my heart won't mend.
Everything that has an ending has a beginning in the end.
It's not the other way around.
So turn around, my dear, 'cause it's time to leave our mark.
It's the series finale of what had been.
Two will become One.
One will leave a legacy for the world to learn its inconsistencies.
Let's hit the reset and see the bliss tonight.
Because the end is not the end.
In your arms I held so tight
to feel the warmth of your skin
you made me feel so bright and alive
I yearned for the next day you held me again
there was so much happiness when I saw your face
when I held your hand I never wanted to let go
you gave me so much joy there was nothing to lose
everyday was something special to me and so much more
when that last day came for me god was waiting by my side
he told me that the time had came and I couldn't stay
the life he had helped you make for me is something that was great
he assured me I'd be an angel to look over you and protect you
when I got to heaven I watched the pain you had when I left
I didn't understand because you had something so precious to remember
but when you look at my pictures and hold my blanket tight
I see that I gave you more than just a memory but a piece of something in your
but never would I have been there so long if you weren't there for me
as time goes by don't think of the pain of losing me
I stood, shaking in front of you
As the songs were sung, the prayers said
And I called out to you,
But you did not answer, because you were dead
I cried silently, watching, waiting
And as time ticked by
Every moment, I was hating
The fact that I never got to say goodbye
So I write to you, my love
As you watch me from above,
Everthing I never got to say to you:
I met you two years ago on the corner of Fremont Avenue
And even then I knew that I would fall for you.
You looked at me strangely when I voiced this aloud
And right then, I nearly cowed
But, I stood strong
And eventually, you came along.
You were my first everything
Which is why everyone was surprised when i bought the ring
But, i didn't need to date around,
Looking for something I had already found.
We made it two years together,
Cruising straight through the stormy weather
We survived every obstacle put in front of us
So easily, no fuss
But there was one we could not avoid,
One we thought to be, because of our ages, devoid.
But, death has no age limit, we now know
Wish we would've known earlier, though.
(Heart failure at twenty eight years old
Is not uncommon, I am now told.)
It saddens me to think of all the more years we could have had
All the ups and downs, good and bad.
I think of all the years you won't get to live
And you know that there is nothing I wouldn't give
So that you could have those years of life
I'd even give you up as my wife,
If that's what it would take,
You have no idea of all the sacrifices I would make.
But, that's the thing about life and death: it doesn't work that way
You can be alive one day
And the next day gone.
And it all just seems so wrong.
I still have your ring.
Without it, I have nothing left.
Some people believe that love can endure anything
But that's not true,
at least not for me and you.
And even though it's time to say goodbye,
Just remember that my love for you will ALWAYS be able light the darkest sky.
Death can only strengthen love,
Not destroy it.
I love you,
And I miss you dearly.
One beautiful child strayed from safety
He took her
No time for her to scream
No time for her to fight
It is not her fault
It is a heinous crime
She fell into his pit
Dug well ahead of his crime
She will never be whole again.
"Copyright (C) Mirassou 2008"
Our friendship was like a blossoming flower in the decaying world of decadence.
Time spent, time went, what happened to this blooming flower?
As our time and flower grew, so did our bond-
It seemed like you were never near, nor far, but always there.
Close when we needed a friend, but far-away, when we needed you the utmost.
Our families shared so much, from our FAITH in the Devine Creator of ALL;
To the pagan rituals of man. Maybe, that was our demise after all?
Then, ……………… there were our children’s flowers blossoming together.
Which seemed to bloom as one, but you with your up-bringing and false face;
Of a Man-made cultic religion- I am sure that was are demise, after all!
Maybe we had something to give in the DEATH after all; or maybe we did not?
We will NEVER know! We will NEVER know! We will NEVER know, because of you!
You ended it all – with ONE LIE from the pit of HELL! How could you?
You destroyed what GOD put together – it was never yours to begin with.
That was most-assuredly are demise, after all.
The DEATH, DISTUCTION, AND DEMISE of a created blooming flower, friendship and family.
You and only you, with the help of the Enemy of our SOULS; killed it all.
I have heard some say, as one LIE can destroy all things; one TRUTH can reunite them
But,……………….. But, we will never know.
We will never know what was truly lost, because of you!!
We will never know if that ONE TRUTH could recreate our friendship and flower.
We will never know, because of you and your world of -
LIES, DEATH, DISTRUCTION, AND DEMISE!!
Alive In Night,
Shadowed By Light
Born Through Pain
The Death Is Sane
So Surreal The Death I Feel;
Faith No More,
Trust In Doubt
Left With Scorn
Fled In A Rush
Melting At Your Touch.
Can't You Hear
The Hope, The Fear...
Pain And Hate
How Easily Does It
Resign Your Fate,
Justified Thy Death
Murdered Thine Life
Can Help Shine Through,
This Opaque Shield I Drew.
Maybe, Finally-I Can Rest In Pieces...
Undeterred Needs Met With Unsoilicited Promises.
Death, I've seen your face before,
heard your knock on my son's door,
that time you came without forewarning,
the shock, the grief, the endless mourning.
This time I felt your hoof beats thunder,
dark horse tearing all asunder,
cold hand of death would seize another,
lethally, you chose my mother.
Death divides us like a wall,
no encore, no curtain call,
and though we can't be side by side,
our love can cross this great divide.
Life is short, or so they say,
but grief elongates every day.
Time, they say, will heal all wounds,
but mine are deep and widely strewn.
The midnight sky is bright with stars,
I whisper to you "Au Revoir,"
a gentle breeze-my cheek is kissed,
I hope you know how much you're missed.
Time goes on, through pain and fear,
Hate growing with each tick of the clock;
War, assassins, terrorism, even death,
Nothing halts the passage of time.
WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, the Gulf,
To name a few of the 20th-century wars.
Kennedy, King, Kennedy, Lennon--great men cut down
In a short space of time by assassins' bullets,
Others barely escaping with their lives.
The World Trade Center, Oklahoma City,
Too many terroristic attacks in foreign countries to count.
Mengele, Manson, Dahmer, Menendez;
Only some of the horrific killers of our time.
Colorado, Mississippi, Oregon, Tennessee,
So many children killing children in our schools,
The list of deaths endless, the reasons obscure.
Yet, through it all, time goes on.
Pausing for nothing, stopping for no one,
Time goes on.
AND ON THE 25TH OF DECEMBER,
19-, I DIED AS A STRICT SATANIC MEMBER;
CALLED HOME BY MY FATHER STILL TO BE KNOWN-
BUT HAD I ANY HOPE? I BELIEVE NONE.
I CAME TO MY SENSES, THE AREA COLD,
AND I FELT A WEIGHT ON ME IN THE COLD HOLD;
A STRANGLING WEIGHT, AN UNKNOWN HUMAN BEING:
BUT I WAS DEAD – IN THE MORTUARY’S BIN.
“WHO ARE YOU UNTOP OF ME?” I ASKED AS CORPSES
SAY-“YOU ARE A HEAVY CORPSE:BAD SIZES.
I HEARD HIM YAWN AND STIR AS CORPSES DO.
“ WHAT ! DON’T YOU FEEL THE COLD? HAVEN’T’Y A CLUE.
“HERE’S A MORTUARY, AND I NEED ALL HEAT.”
I MERELY SIGHED, REGRETTING THE PIT.
“AND I AM DUE TODAY.” I HEARD HIM SAY.
“ THEN LET’S ENJOY THE TIME WE HAVE IN PLAY.
AND … AND WE HEARD THE MORTUARY’S DOOR CREAK
FOR TRULY HE WAS DUE FOR A SAD PICK:
A TIME WHEN FAMILY MEMBERS SO WEEP
WHILE OTHERS AWAIT DINNER WITHOUT SLEEP.
EXTRACTED FROM: “THE LAST DAY’S TALE.”
BY NFORCH GERALD
APPROX: 600 STANZAS LONG.
SEARCHING FOR A PUBLISHER.
Portugal in September.
Perfect translucent day and I can see the peculiar nature again,
as it is no longer a blur of glaring sunlight. It is like meeting
an old friend, one who was rumored to have died, in a country
I will not see again. Evergreens, carob and olive trees lost in
the mist of time, forever alone in the transience of seasons.
I also see glimpses of the sea it doesn’t interest me, not today
anyway, but I do notice it is deep blue and has white sails on.
On my scooter I drive across a narrow bridge they have been
working on so it can take heavy lorries, a road is being built
somewhere out of sight. Wish I were a painter, fair clouds on
azure sky, could be smoke signals sent by an Indian tribe yet
to be discovered, I see the past and future at the same time.
Bewildering, do I drive in a landscape of ancient dreams?
I better stop find at a café, drink a “Bica” (coffee) before I fade
into the mystery of nature and can’t find my way back home.
Ghost rider waiting at the station
crossing over soul tracks into spirit
past lives to present
regression to progression in mirrors
projection of reflection
thundering through sunshine
from another time of spellbound
with an afterglow.
Song birds of sweet angelic melody
singing internal bliss time telling all
sealed with a supernatural kiss
Neptune's desire in an enchanting dream
sent by a romantic messenger from beyond
with hopes of virtue sending soul to soul conversation
dimensional travel on higher levels of vibration
knowing destiny from the dead travelling between worlds
riding the train of destination towards the tunnel of Nirvana.
Fearless i go running in the night
barefoot on rich damp soil
stretching out my arms
in a cool wild flight
trees, they whisper in my ear_
dark wind on cold bare flesh i’m running
hot face, heart pounds
i feel the pull of a thousand years,
and the way things used to be
and then, i hear the call
you are here
the time is now
and all things are as they are
the time is now
and you are here
all things are all things
and, all is meant to be
flight faster than thought in this light moon night
as i slip between the bars
and i breathe the finest breath
moving, silently through the stars
you are here
all things are meant to be
the time is now
and all things are as they are
From the eyes of Shangri-la and words indited in bulletin
spoken by bellwethers and imagery on broadcasts
Felt the passing of breaths and federation menace.
The scourge abided by cause of hooliganism
By a group of libertine,
Held, ye plot to an affright baker’s dozen bams.
He who fended collared gravely, and he who
Fathered, headed for the hills.
Passing of breaths and the devour city
Bellowing mother’s cry and bemused father
The helpless baby yet addled with a smile.
The speechless contrarian and the stock market blues
Mongers fall back and the bollywood whodunit.
Queried world and hastening federations
The eventual address to make for red alert.
Staked City and yet another lionize attack
To their day of remembrance on the cause of vandalism
Dawdled to a tetrad later
Abided by the juvenility of their community
Held, ye plot to an heptad bams.
Office hour rushed shush dead to the world
Aghast citizenry and deplorable family
Her plighting husband to return and son’s oft exacts
Left apart for an unknown time.
Ruled by terrorism, shame upon faith
Around-the-clock yet another hark back
Abided by the army of pure
Held, ye plot to tenner explosions.
Challenges taken were overwhelm
An arrest bore witness
From the eyes of Shangri-la and words indited in bulletin
spoken by bellwethers and imagery on broadcasts
Felt the passing of breaths and federation menace.
One Hour into school and im hearing news but not believing
what they say,it comes again
in the form of wicked sadness destroying seamen rank by rank
adn my tears fall inside like flanks,in my shaking head
I hold this in mind
and let truth behold all i might not see and death brings me closer to the seams
of life and im so afraid
im a coward of time and i've got so many cards I dealt
but the ace is hidden by my side
and lastnight it was Sunday May 5th 2008
and somehow we they got there late
I just know it was'nt your time but we all will be fine
you will be missed and we'll remember this time when we had to say goodbye
and our tears flow like new life
and at the drop of a hat,
a mother lost a daughter,father lost a girl,we lost an angel
and God gained your grace students lost a hero,I know im way past my limit
so why do I write still,but i know somehow i'll prove you're living in our brain
Mrs.Gates we miss you dearly as you glowed with day
and will always be remembered not erased
"This Poem/Song is dedicated to the Family,Friends,Students and staff who
were touched by this Angel's Grace,R.I.P. Mrs.Gates"
Tell me not in mournful gongs
that beyond, a soul is gone.
sing not in gloomy tones
the farewel hymes of life
and let flow not from eyes, the ocean tears of loss.
lest to death we give
amazing praise untold.
Upon the cool of dark,
the souls of men depart.
against the wish of time,
some men choose to leave.,.
around abode of men,
the chill of grieve becloud.
all along the streets,
the mourners mourn aloud.
far beyound the gates,
the bearers bear in haste.
fast firm and hard,
the diggers dig in tears.
and the being is laid to rest.
Dying, a painful bye to life:
the exit soon on life,
the grievious mood of sobs,
the abstract flame that breaks ,
the bridging cord of love,
and the dying grips no more
on the solid cord of life.
the clock of life revolves.
the living being is gone.
beautys, precious, pure,
all soon like dust become.
and desolate lie the homes,
of all that lived on earth,
but now beyond abide.
I remember when we used to be so care free,
now it seems like we live on our knees.
What happened to the love and joy we once had?,
refusing to believe that it was some kind of fad.
We both know what we had was real,
Where did it go? Where's that raw feel?
A feel of untainted connection,
unblinded by pure affection.
Not clouded by others opinion,
to have control over our hearts dominion.
I know I've lost sight of what brought us together,
wanting it so bad and have it forever.
Causing so much destruction lost in myself,
giving the impression that I'm damaged beyond help.
Finally after years of my heart and mind being adrift,
enough of this confusion, it's time for a shift.
Not just for me, but for the ones I love,
the one who is reading this knows whom I speak of.
My spirit can only express consolation for what you've gone through,
something that has been lost between us, so rare yet so true.
Anger and frustration that harbors in your heart I understand,
wanting to release it forever a pain that was never planned.
The pain I feel is that I miss you and our daughter,
missing out on being a husband and father.
I know I can't fix everything but I know that I can try,
How long till I receive your love? When will that time draw nigh?
Milo and Me raised by Mom and Dad, in that small mountain town-
A little more than 66 miles from Albany.
Dad and Mom faithfully provided their best for Milo and Me.
Yes-it would have been better if we had been sustained-
by some rich family.
Most things that happened on that street have NEVER been spoken of-
by Milo and Me. To painful, to dreadful and DARK, even for the Spirituous heart.
I guess we made an unspoken pact, between Milo and Me, to-
Never, Reveal what took place on that mystifying,Non-illuminated, Murky Street.
You see for Milo and Me--we always knew of HIS Devine Majesty.
Tales have been told and fabrication declared- to even the most paramount.
But--for Me and Milo- we always knew of GODS providence.
We knew- that someday, HE would overtake the misery-
that happened about 66 miles from Albany-on that Street.
For Milo, he went into some Rehab--you see?
Somewhere Near Albany. For Me, got married a second time to a wife-- and had a family.
I guess this is where Milo and Me, took different paths into life- or it seemed.
I definitely miss Milo and those GLORY days of our youth-
all the beer and reefer parties, can’t you see?
On an old abandon meadow and STREET called Solders Field-- is where we partied.
Only GOD and the few that were there in those days would know
what Milo and ME did on--THAT STREET!
Tales have been told and fabrication declared--But--I will leave it to that.
This re-memorable time I will never forget.
I lasted a short moment-- maybe a week at best.
Then it came to pass for Milo and Me, to part life’s path-
with seemed repeatedly. For Me and my family, we stayed and lived in
that Historic Town-just about 55 miles from Albany.
So-- once again- let Me take you to the end of this story.
We will travel by a make-believe time machine.
Close your eyes- Close your eyes- so you can’t see.
Fast forward we go to the year 2010- now you may see!
But-- for Me still there-just 55 miles from Albany.
I have most assuredly miss Milo, after all, it’s been ten years-
can’t you see? I miss him as one of our family, even though he marched so far away-
into some foreign state. Milo, Milo--- wherever you are, I will always remember you-
-just as you were.
By :REV, Dr. MEW/WEM/EMW
As we gather around at this time of the year
It makes us wish even more that you were here
We will never grow accustom to life without you
We know that you are peaceful now
Walking streets of gold
Holding hands with the angels
And never growing old
That doesn’t change the void we feel
Opening up the presents
And sitting down for a meal
With each light on the tree that twinkles
We feel that you are close
Wishing we had the time to say that we loved you the most
Now we will share each moment in memory of you
Merry Christmas to Heaven
Merry Christmas to You
Jesus called you home today
Said your time was up
Please walk this way
Follow him through the Pearly Gates
As you step through Heaven's Door
Please remember these few words
Mother I will miss you so
I'm sorry you had to go
You were only 49 years old
But your time on Earth was done
Now it was time for you to be an Angel
I know you'll be there to watch out for me
Like you were when you where here
I am happy though
You don't have to suffer from the cancer and stroke
Jesus took your hand and lead you home
Showed you a new life to live
Even though you are truely missed
I know theres holes in the floor of Heaven
And your my guardian Angel
Watching out for me through my troubled times
You are still my guiding light
I love you mom but know its time
Cause Jesus called you home today
Written by Ann Wilson on
October 31 2006
What were you thinking of on that October day? When you went over the line and
plunged into the creek. What was on your mind when you held up your hands?
Did you not care and want to give up? Or was your pain so real to you and
suddenly the thoughts came to your mind and were you feeling like you didn't
care ?Were you hurting so much with only despair?Did you think you would not
be missed? Or did you say I will take my own life because nobody cares? Did
you know what you were doing or did your mind just snap? If you would of shared
with us that you wanted to end your own life. Or was your mind doing tricks in
your head? Or did you just give up and want to be dead? My dearest brother we
are all sad that you have departed with us this way. Did you not try and pray or did
you not think your pain and suffering was to much to bear. We all miss you so
dearly we wish you was here. I want you to know what is plain and clear that your
loved ones are sad that you went and left us on that October day. As we had to
say goodbye on the 7th of October for saying good bye is hard. You are still in our
thoughts from time to time. And still in our minds with the same thoughts over
and over time and time again Why did you have to leave us why did you go
away? What were you thinking of that day?
Solitude of eternity
Permeates both living and dead
Dawn rises…dusk falls…dawn rises
The cycle of day and night continues
Only knowing apathy’s companionship
Realization beyond fingertips clutch
Always upon the gusting winds of time
As death claims His prey yet again
Within that final rasping of breath
That hot abrupt moment of nothing
A cyclical repetition
And the song of eternity’s solitude
I'm sorry that for once I seem to appear human,
repeatedly knocked down by the one I love.
I'm sorry that I'm not next to you to shove,
I fall down on my own quite enough thank you.
I'm sorry that I seem to have a different view,
which is probably why I seem to talk in riddles.
I'm sorry that I'm no longer in the middle,
probably at the bottom the barrel is where I stand.
I'm sorry that for us being apart there is no contingency plan,
I have no idea where I'll end up, on the street or in a ditch.
I'm sorry that all the feelings I have towards you seem like a glitch,
maybe cause this is not the first time "it's not you, it's me".
I'm sorry when we talk I seem to beg and plea,
my apologies, if there's something wrong with that train of thought.
I'm sorry that our relationship is distraught,
Dose it make you feel good to appear cold as ice?
I'm sorry that I'm probably the last person to seek for advice,
I wonder where I fit in, with all the screwed up good hearted people you know.
I'm sorry that I have to hide my feelings that I want to show,
I get off on wasting my time to acquire your compassion.
I'm sorry that your heart has no love to ration.
I'm sorry that I am who I am.
Two years without your footsteps on the earth,
how strange then
that life has gone on
Flowers have blossomed, bloomed and withered,
whole seasons have passed
without acknowledging our loss,
Defiant of our grieving
has gone about her business,
and the moon
still nightly appears
as if nothing has changed
but the passing of years.
I thought for a while at least,
for a little
and the elements
out of respect ,
should have silently and motionlessly wept
But days have come and gone
after the other
and another and another,
life goes on
without your footsteps
seasons pass without your song
and I carry you with me
your breath has ceased
your spirit strong.
Why’d it have to be you?
Anyone but you,
My life has changed so much since you left me.
I miss you so much.
Why couldn’t it just be me?
You were always there for me,
You made me laugh
You made me smile,
You eve n made me cry over stupid little things.
Why cant you just come back?
I hear these songs and they remind me what good times we had
“Slipped Away”, “What hurts the Most”, “Believe”,
I just wish you’d come back.
Why’d it have to be you?
Of all the good things you did to others
I don’t remember anything you’ve done wrong to hurt any one or yourself.
I carry your picture around with me all the time and think about you 24/7.
I just wonder like a song, if I have somebody watching over me and who it is,
Someone must be or I wouldn’t be here this day.
If I’ve done anything wrong to hurt you,
I’m sorry and wish everything would be like they were before.
All the good times we shared and here it is almost 5 years later and its lost….all of it.
You were the one who made me realize that life really is important and has a meaning to it.
Why did you leave? Especially the way you did?
It wasn’t anyone’s fault.. It just happened.
All of this seems like a dream and a nightmare.
Everyday and night, think and wish you were here…I guess everyone wishes that.
Why? Why does it feel like I’m not forgiven?
The last words from me to you, “I hate you and never want to see again”, gets to me every
It seems like if I hadn’t said that,
You’d still be here with me today.
It’s like that song “What Hurts the Most”,
And what really hurts the most was being so close and saying what I had said.
I feel so lost. I don’t know what I’d do without you.
I’m happy I wasn’t there to see you leave the way you did, but again I wish I could’ve.
Why? Why did this happen to you?
every time near Christmas, I can’t help but to think of this horrible tragedy.
I wish you’d come back.
It’s NOT FAIR!!!
I lost my friend, best friend, closest friend
my closest cousin I had, and apart of me.
I pray everyday that I would see you again and I know I will..
Please come back! Please! I know God puts his people on this Earth and takes them back
when he thinks they’re ready,
But you? Why you? You wasn’t ready.
11 years of my life are gone, taken away from me.
4 years ago on December 21, 2001, was the worst time of my life.
I wish nothing ever happened
And that we’d still be here together today.
You knew it was the end.
You knew your time was up.
You said you had to go.
But you loved us all.
Mother why was it the end?
Why was it your time to go?
You were only 49 years old.
It seems so unfair.
But I guess thats the way life is.
The Lord called you home.
It was time for you to go.
At least you don't suffer anymore.
And your better off.
You were to be a grandma.
And you never seen your grandkids.
This saddens me and makes me sick.
I wish you were still here to kiss.
I miss your hugs and smiles.
I miss you so .
You brightened the whole day.
Just to know you where here.
But now your gone .
I miss you so.
But it is the end.
Even now you haunt me
As I am dusted by slumber
You drift to my bedside
Kissing me with soft bane lips
Enveloping me totally
In deadly gasping rapture
I raise my head from the pillow
A moment of lucidity
To rediscover your esprit beauty
Is just beyond my reach
I can almost hear your essence
Whispering sweet ardor
As that black robed hand
Pulls you wrathfully away
Tearing you from me again
You look to me over your shoulder
Feeling that kindred ache
For he is the keeper
The master of this eternity
And I am your lover
Whom you were to spend it with
I raise my head from the pillow
In the moment of truth
Hoping sleep will ease my pain
Knowing it has no remedy
Because I can’t let go of you
Even now you haunt me
I can’t recall this never existing
Pallid cold corridors so colorless
I have traversed over and over
In endless searching…
Stepping over putridity
Awash in isolations laughter
Walking beside my companioned wall
Instinctively impelled forward…
Wresting aspiration from bony digits
Using fast my sheltered strength
Against corpses mounting waves
Encroaching upon bricked doorways…
Within this sallow incessant labyrinth
Sinking within this quickening of blood
My sight grows narrower with each pulse
With heavy footfalls my eyes endeavor…
A shifting miasma of reverie and vision
Mirrored upon stainless sterile steel doors
In a moment of clarity I behold my senses
Iced revelry of unyielding standing strength…
Can you not hear my word?
If what I say fails to hold your interest
They are still of importance
These words are a lifetime defined
My joys and lamentations
They are a brush stroke shadowing
What I was…and am now
They are the songs of my children
The silence of standing graveside
Softly fading with times passing
Always of my voice whispering
Perhaps these words are nonsensical
And you uninterested in them
They are my life both past and present
My gift and legacy…
Yet still living
Hush now don't say a word
Death is near
I'm not scared
Don't have no fears
I know what is happening here
Don't treat me as though I'm gone
Enjoy these moments here
Soon I will suffer no more
My time is near
The good Lord is here
My name has been picked to go
My time has come now
I am going home with Him
The Lord is my Father here
He called my name
I'm not just a number here
I see those Pearly Gates
Getting closer to my face
Say later not goodbye
This aint the last time we meet
I'll see ya in the near future
I'll be standing by
I'll watch your every move
For now I'm watching out for you
Hush now don't say a word
For death is near
Do you feel lonely and blue? Do you feel that nobody loves you and cares or
thinks of you. Is you mind with emptiness and sadness? Are you filled with
troubles that you can't understand? When you are with these thoughts is it with
much despair or do you wish you could turn back the time and wished you could
of done something different as the time is passing? Are you true to your feelings
and say what is on your mind. Or do you keep it all bottled up inside what is
stopping you is it pride. Do you tell someone what you are feeling and be true to
yourself and take that chance to tell someone you are hurting inside. Do you feel
the pain will go away you need to bow down your head and pray and take that
chanced today. Don't wait too late cry if you will listen to that small voice but to
listen you must be still .You may be surprised at how it will turn out. You may
help someone else who is hurting too. Take that chance and Find someone you
can count on before it is too late. They will tell you if you must let go of the pain to
scream and shout with all your might and tell you that you need to do what is
right. You have more too gain then more to lose it is you life you can do as you
chose. They may need you too so don't wait to long to say what your thinking
because they may be sad and blue too. You don't have to feel you are alone with
these thoughts there are a lot of men and women who from time to time feel the
same and have had sadness and shame and despair and felt their life is
crumbling too. You are not alone don’t feel you are in their way so don't hold back
for they may feel the same way and tell you to stay and not go away. You may try
and get outside of yourself and you may be surprised of what they will say then
you can forget about your own troubles that have been going your way .So when
they share their feeling with you then you can ask this question that has been
haunting you. Do you feel lonely and blue.
As time goes by the pain eases
But the sadness remains
My heart empty of love it once felt
As time goes by loneliness fills my days
Wishing to be with you once again
Missing the closeness we shared
As time goes by death has distanced us in the flesh
It will never seperate you from my heart
You will forever live in my memories
As time goes by my love for you will never diminish
You were my soulmate, best friend and husband
We will be together once again for it is our destiny
A trigger was squeezed.
Gunshots echoed through the streets, follower by an unnatural silence. How
could it be a life was taken? The silence immediately interrupted by questions
like who, when, where, how, over and over again we asked ourselves why ???
The questions faded out, as our minds were assaulted, invaded, and over ran by
grief, sorrow, morning, pain, and sadness. Sadness was short lived. The sorrow
abruptly turned to guilt, anger, hate, hostility, and thoughts of revenge with a deep
longing for vengeance. After many harsh thoughts of retribution a sea of endless
tears flooded the streets. We all anger over the withholding of the truth. Together
we mourned your lost. “My loving caring, compassionate son, my brother, my
nephew, my uncle, my cousin, my lover, my friend, my neighbor, my big brother,
my lil brother, my hommie, my shorty, my round, my dog, my boy, my child taking
by the streets ahead of your time.”
We all felt this family and friends alike, not I, you, him, her, them nor they. Leon
it’s for you: we cried at your passing. We frowned at the way it happen. Yet Smiles
illuminate the darkness when we’re asked about the way you lived. My son
though you were taken from this world by injustice, far away in heaven well
beyond the stars may you open your eyes. Through the masses your memory
shall survive – Music, pictures, tee shirts, poetry, rip tattoos, and the ceremonial
pouring out of liquor. Through us, I pray may your memory live on not stained by
the evil that stole you away. Through us your family, friends, and from time to time
a casual stranger, you will always be remembered as you lived. Rest in peace to
My Tru Solider.
A SOUL NEVER TO BE FORGOTTEN!!!
Dedicated to Papa (1947-2004)
All I can say right now is wow
It has indeed been too long
I never really listened to the radio
Until I hear that one song.
It takes me back so many years
To when I was just three
When we were riding in the truck together
You sang to me like I was a baby.
It takes me back to those years on the lake
When I caught my first fish
We took it home to Grandma for a surprise
For that day, I longingly wish.
It takes me back to my earliest memory
of you and me watching T.V.
Grandma Miriam was there as well
So I must have been just a baby.
It takes me back to when Grandma died
And you married Jessica instead
I began calling her Grandma as well
And I brought her the fish that was dead.
It takes me back to that summer
When I fell off the golf cart
You told me that seeing me cry
Was truly breaking your heart.
It takes me back to hearing you sing
For the last time in 2005
It was Alan Jackson then, too
Just a little before you died.
It takes me back to that day
When you weren't doing so well
We went to see you in the hospital
That visit made my heart swell.
It takes me back to that day
When I got off the bus
Nana was there and she told me
That you were no longer with us.
It takes me back to just a week ago
When I heard Alan Jackson's song
And, for the first time in two whole years,
I actually sang along.
True, my tears were running
But I knew that the crying would help
'Cause I could feel you singing along with me.
Clocks ticking as time is a constant,
the end of a year, last three months lament.
I've come to terms with what I've done,
ousted from home and heart with nowhere to run.
It's amazing how total strangers are willing to help you out,
when your mind and heart are going through a drought.
I wish I could undo all that I've done wrong,
must endure this torture, must stay strong.
Please don't hate me for the mistakes I've made,
even though I kept making them, drawn out like a blade.
Clocks ticking as time is a constant,
waiting to face the obvious, something I can't circumvent.
If you knew it were your last week of life, how would you spend it?
Would you remember to pay old debts or call old friends?
Would you make amends with your family?
Within that last week of life, what will be the most important issues to you?
Do you visit a far away land or just have someone close and hold their hand?
Take a moment to consider how you will spend your time, please spend it wisely.
I pray that the precious last week of everyone’s life be spent in joy and peace.
Take time everyday to make time to say all the things that are most important
within your heart, because all too often we never know when our last week of life
on earth will be.
In this end,
I give you my suffering
My finale in life, shall it come
And I shall miss this suffering
Death, my comfort in songs
For I do not wish to go now
In this empty space
Here and there you chase
Shadows they blossum
No fear upon me expressions de facial
Of coarse it's a due date
A sudden divorce, pursued by fate
Those whom have wronged me
The promise of this song may be
Because of you
My flesh shall never greet peace
Doomed, my purgatory
Yet these flames may never deplete my feet
Shall not be accepted
I saw it, I stepped on it, I left it
Do not expect thee to beg thy mercy of leave
For misery has sheltered my wounds at this lovely feast
Life is so unfair
It took you from me without care
A moment in time is all we had
Now i'm left alone feeling sad
Our time together was so brief
Now i'm left with all this grief
Life is so unfair
The future we will not share
My love for you will forever last
As long as I hold onto memories of our past
The love we shared was so intense
Pain I feel is so immense
Life is so unfair
I'm left feeling such despair
Never to be held by you again
This causing my heart to break from pain
To touch you again would be so bliss
Just wanting to give you one last kiss
Life is so unfair........
I recall that tragic day
When the telephone rang.
Still, so fresh like yesterday;
A year ago, such pain.
A familiar voice on the other end,
What she was saying couldn't be true.
My mother's words I didn't comprehend,
Asking how God could be so cruel?
He took away the only one
That had ever been there.
She was my "SPECIAL SOMEONE",
Always showing me she cared.
My Grandma had a heart of gold
And was full of nothing but good.
The cute little stories she told
Brightened up my childhood.
Without her raising me,
There's so much I wouldn't know.
Who knows where I'd be
If she hadn't taught me to grow.
In an instant, POOF!, she's gone,
A terrible accident took her away,
Making it difficult to move on,
Regretting the things I didn't say.
How I LOVED her, heart and soul,
Wishing I had made that clear.
Was she proud, I'd like to know
Of the woman I am in the mirror?
I believed I'd have her always,
Planning to visit more or call.
Thinking we had plenty of days,
But that wasn't the case at all.
In one day, a single moment
It can all disappear,
Not realizing how much they meant,
Until now, that they're not here.
(12/08/06-In memory of my Grandmother)
Ode to the time we spend,
My hearts ready to move on,
and nothing makes sense
We boast of being free,
We lack when tied down,
Our influences degrade us,
And I finally found.
The reason no less,
To my way of being,
In the course of thoughts and
Romances, mine eyes are now seeing.
The precious times steady,
Yet balanced with fear,
To be mixed up with another,
And another year by year.
What comes of that?
Where has trust gone?
Who is my soul mate?
What did I do wrong?
Answers are none,
What has now happened?
And finally what went wrong?
When you were with me
I felt some what secure,
But now by myself,
I am so unsure.
The warmth in your arms,
The unfaithful mind you did hold,
I turned the other cheek,
You played with my soul.
The good time left,
The bad times stayed,
And then I went away.
But I could still remember,
you by my side.
The loving things you promised,
And the thrill of my life.
Now all that is left is afterthoughts,
I dream of our good times,
but move on without you.
…And there’s a naked lady
On a rocky shoreline, I see
Her beauty, a pinkish smile
As I, the lover, pass her by
The jolly rhythm of the sea
Has a great resounding plea
The rain will not fall today
Though, the sky’s real gray
Sweet laughter in the wind
Hers touches my worn skin
I plead thee, O careless tare
O let you not disrespect her
For she, truly, reminds me
Of my ever dearest fantasy
Every time her beauty I see
Whilst I drink my morn tea
A bit further over the hills
I ask you to carry me
Never shall we perish
So please bury me
Onward, no boundaries
The sin that I lead
I shall ask no more
Just past those hills
I will have you carry me
As those whom tear for me, will
Death be gone
I cannot, I will not
How could I ever leave you alone?
My bones ache
My suicide results
Remain submerged in the wrong lake
Come if you will
As a subject in your tragedy
On my final lay, I may lie ill
Death be gone
I cannot, I will not
How could I ever leave you alone?
I am the taker of man
The maker of your failing stand
In between plagues and romance
I must intervene
To call it cruelty is so vague
Only in those final hours
Shall we have our scene
Death be gone
There will be no open doors
No creeks in your floor
Please be gone
Why do you wish me away?
I will not plague your mirror
Though the thought is so inferior
Alas that these day's should be mine,
when we should be celebrating with food and wine.
Instead I live apart from the ones I love dearly, at the most cheerful time that
Decorations and presents don't mean that much to me, my wife and daughter
are what brings me to my knees.
That I love them so much,
not just as an emotional crutch.
I was asked to leave home,
with a cold hearted world to roam alone.
Chaos of what we had together runs through my mind, not knowing what the
future brings or what I will find.
Dose it make you feel good to know that we're apart?
It makes me ache down inside my heart.
To have hope and desire for you and all that you are, Can you remove that mind
And all fear that you have towards me,
Can you just let go so it can flee?
Disarray for all can be forgotten,
Will you hold it inside till your soul becomes rotten?
Knowing that you don't want to talk to me leaves me at al loss, like I'm the son of
god on the cross.
Accepting all the suffering in life that I've caused you, taking my lashings thru and
The days grow more difficult as time goes by, these words are no trick to get
I know it's hard for you to believe me cause you're angry and scared, a somber
reminder of the life we once shared.
If you will
Breathe for me
The satanic realism
We can be
On my dying lay
Breathe for me
Every odd believes in thee
All the smiles
On this sunny day, we shared
Call for my debts
Now I’m running scared
Surely you’re losing me
Is it possible?
To have you breathe for me
The satanic realism we can be
On my dying lay
Surely you’re losing me
Breathe with me
I come to you today
Not as your enemy
Not as a writer of his final entry
But as a center peace
A sender of those
whom mask in glory from their knees
We ask our father to take care of our friends
Our common casualties,
whom won’t embrace the end
We ask that you nourish their courage
Well flourished in urge
Bringing you everything
I’ve ever said or mentioned
Hands free, we hold no tension
Through all the chaos, the wrongs
The trials, the triumph,
may we all sing this song
The sweet melody we once rehearsed
A grace so amazing
September seemed to no longer be cursed
Don’t kill yourself world
For darkness will forever loom
The fortune in my doom
I am sorry