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Elegy Sad Poems | Elegy Poems About Sad

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Details | Elegy | |

Angela's Right Hand

The function of a human hand?
Writing a message, making a bed,
Opening a jar, dialing a phone,
Putting on pantyhose,
Touching the face of a child,
Or a lover.

And in its absence?
Yawning space and phantom pain,
And an oddly-shaped bandage
At the end of Angie’s arm.

PFC Hernandez, home in El Paso,
Watches her family watching her,
Writing awkwardly with her left hand,
Brushing her black wavy hair,
Watching Dr. Phil
Wearing an old gray-green T-shirt
Bearing the faded words
“Proud to be a Marine.”

Gasping and choking,
She wakes from thick, dusty dreams
Of shimmering, endless sand,
Unfamiliar words
Echoing hollow with hatred,
And the feared but half expected
Roar of fiery amber heat,
Breaking the angry stillness,
Searing through the night
And Angela’s right hand.



Details | Elegy | |

I Remember

I remember all the nights we use to play, 
but now I can't play anymore because your not here today.
Your here in my heart and that will never fade away.
Sometimes I would be a hard-headed child,
but in your eyes you saw an angle smile. 

I love you like God love the family, unconditionally.
I remember your brown eyes, gray hair, for you were wise.
I also remember when you had to leave, so your soul could be free.
See, I'm older; more mature, and understand what's going
on, but back then I was only four.

I still remember that day like it was yesterday. 
Well, you were buried that day and everyone had a sad face. 
I remember that day very well indeed, as I looked at you 
and pleaded that you wouldn't leave me. 
Now you’re gone and I have to be strong for both 
of us, so our love can live through people who love us.


Details | Elegy | |

I Need Your Help Daddy

I’m tired
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here

I can’t get back in control of my emotions 
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy

I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help 

Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance 
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help







Details | Elegy | |

O BELOVED MOTHER, O BELOVED SISTERS....

O beloved mother, o beloved sisters
departed from me, within years
of each other, to sadden my living;
I spend my days weeping...
reminiscing in my sorrow:
how we laughed together,
and faced another serene tomorrow,
knowing that sharing kindness
would bond our destinies
in ways so devoted and immense!   


O beloved mother, o beloved sisters...
I let the unconsumed joy of memories
take me to those yesterdays
to thank God for our existence,
when we enjoyed the gifts He offered;
yes, even the smallest of them 
were so lovely and precious!
And by watching how you faced death,
I admired how you became the bravest...
slowly letting go of what you possessed!


O beloved mother, o beloved sisters...
do you want me to continue crying,
or smile and console you with a future promise:
that soon we'll embrace one another
under the joyful eyes of our Creator?
Nothing foolish I will do to harm myself;
and wait I will 'till my end comes,
but until then my solemn prayers I'll recite
amid tombstones guarded by triumphant angels...
and bound for Heaven, I'll be smiling!


Details | Elegy | |

His Legacy

Up into the sky 
he soared 
like an Angel

With us 
down here-- 
at Soupland, watching him as he soared 
like an Angel;

So gentle… 
and brave 
he was,
a strong love he had, sharing it till the end, yet

His breath
could not resist the resounding call 
of Heaven 
and he left, 

Leaving us his poetry, for 
when great storms come in, his laughter 
will dry our tears like rain.


--

for Tom Bell, a great poet who taught us all-- 
to laugh and to smile…to learn… and to give.    


Details | Elegy | |

Moon Walk on Your Grave

Moon Walk on Your Grave

A life begun in stardom,
now, ending up in shame.
Relentless media, cruel world,
who then is there to blame.

A sadness inside,
no tears on your face.
The pain all but over,
mass confusion erase.

In wonder we watch,
can a life be explained?
Can't surface your agony,
under facade you remained.

Let's focus on the talent,
musical joy that you gave.
In peace now I pray,
moon walk on your grave.

© Rene' Brady 2009


Details | Elegy | |

Death of a Love One

I had a wonderful day, what could have went wrong
Went to sleep feeling like a brand new man
Laying in bed, sleeping so peacefully
Two guys walked in unexpectedly
They said wake up, no hesitation
Ten bullets in my back, no explanation
Was this a dream I’m gonna wake up from
No its not, I’m a completely dead man
Why me?  Answer my question
I had a family and other love ones.
Now I’m gone, but memory lives on
How about you where do you stand?


Details | Elegy | |

A Death Unborn

          Waiting on inspiration and wasting time.
Yet the search continues until I'm out of my mind.
         Then there's the other side of the story that nobody wants to hear.
And faced with reality,I realize my greatest fear.
          With my bloodline destroyed,there's nothing left.
 I embrace the day when I'll take my finale breathe.
          For the end to come,now I welcome the day.
 Then take to the grave,all the things I never got to say.
          On my way to a place,where I'll finally find peace.


Details | Elegy | |

Time Consumes Life

Just one more time, 
just one more breath,
 just one more moment to remember the past, 
lull in thy memories, 
breathe in thy essence, 
to look upon thy face,
 to know you still care,
 to know what we had was special, 
to be preserved in preferred memories. 

Where I am going I know naught.
 Floating as if in limpid water currents, 
languor reaching but finding not,
 solitary enraged soul longing for one more kiss, 
one kiss whence naught. 
Malformed monsters feast 
upon the vermin ravishing mine soul, 
my tender heart loathing sunset’s rays enfold, 
nighttime beseech me, broken heart unfold. 
Another night shine through tears, 
summoned by memories a hundredfold,
 putrid time consumes life; 
Cruel Life Sleeps.


Details | Elegy | |

Old Brown Dog


...for Ralph McTell


He was my closest friend and confidante
for over eighteen years.
I called him simply Brown Dog.
From a puppy to the present
he was always by my side.
Chasing rabbits through the pasture
or the sticks that I would throw,
he was the essence of vitality and joy.
As he aged, he would lie down at my feet,
an Old Brown Dog, his horizon now my yard, 
limping, riddled with arthritis, he was clearly in great pain.
Today would be the day. 

With a heavy heart, my shotgun cradled 
in my arm, I tugged gently on his leash
and we headed to the pasture where
in better days he frolicked, free as a bird.
The sky was overcast as I settled him to ground. 
"Goodbye, my friend," I whispered, as I went
to pull the trigger. But then suddenly a flash
of fur! a rabbit dashed from hiding and darted
into view. My companion broke free! bounding 
t'ward his prey, his pain all but forgotten.
As he closed in, he took one final leap...
and fell in a heap to the earth, still and silent.

He had died the way he wanted, 
on his own terms, free again, at last.

I buried him there, and wept.

I returned to his grave 
with a granite headstone
which bore the inscription:

"To my Brown Dog, best friend and confidante,
thanks for the memories.
Rest In Peace.
1994-2011.


Details | Elegy | |

The Lost Boy

There was a boy I used to know.
He never let his feelings show.
Turns out he wanted suicide.
When he died, I cried.
Why did he have to go?
Was that why he never let his feelings show?
He hung himself like a criminal.
That’s not what he was like at all.
He still had time to grow.
Maybe he should’ve let his feelings show.
There was a boy I used to know. 


Details | Elegy | |

Eternity

Eternity

Many times, I saw my spirit.
Many times, I felt my soul.
In life, I lived courageous.
Now it is time for me to journey home.

If you cry, that is fine.
If you laugh, that is better than a cry.
Rejoice in my life and shout praise.

For I am 
Therefore, I shall be
In peace, I leave this world.
To my love ones, I am with the Lord.

Sure happy to have lived
Not sad that my time has come
The benevolence of the spiritual realm is a breeze from a waterfall.

The Lord is my keeper.
He called me home.
No more sadness let us all rejoice.

Ms. Carrie Mae Sexton is now reunited with Jehovah God Lord.  A woman of statue... 
A woman of worth... All that knew her will truly miss her.

Never a life lost but one done with the world and because she walked a virtuous path, her life is shown.  The Lord knows best and we must know the same.   Our mother sojourns and in peace, she lays.

[“Be assured that just as an hour is only part of a day so life on Earth is only part of eternity.” C.L. Allen]

User Name: Verlena
Psuedonym: Oblivion Dark Sunshine
Motif: Grief and Bereavement

-Contest Enter: Space & Time - Metaphorically written... Eternity is space and time...  February 2014


Details | Elegy | |

The Way It Was

The song starts to play and I start to cry
How can so much hurt come from a song like that?
Once upon a time it used to bring me happiness and laughs
Now all it brings me is sorrow
You were my world and the song was ours
Now you're gone leaving me with nothing but a broken heart
It isn't easy to forget about everything
That song meant so much to me and now it's all been taken away
I had a dream that the song was going to bring us together again
But now, I don't want to listen to the song anymore
The song is a constant reminder of our tragedy and it will always hurt
I've tried to forget but nothing seems to work
I'll listen to that song a million times more
Until the day we are reunited, together forever


Details | Elegy | |

A Farewell To The Travelers

A Farewell To The Travelers (On The Bhoja Airlines Plane Crash)
 
With pace does darkness conquer light,
when mounts the sun the dying toll,
spied an aura grim my wistful sight,
for had poisoned all, a single bowl;
captive of death as it life betrayed,
the awakened --to the resting prayed,
"Oh! Farewell the mornings vanished pole".
 
Life comes with such a temporal mien,
has it plucked the wings of future how,
though pillows of respite --I had seen,
but these feathers do no sleep allow;
do fly swift! The binders of this cause,
your pause of age, is our ageless pause--
"So, farewell the birds of heavens now".
 
But, soul a machine that does not cease,
yet it fools us from our time of birth;
pass on, move towards the restful peace,
but, secluded stays its pensive worth;
Until the day, we shall meet again
at some wondrous unknown valley then.
"Ah! Farewell the travelers of this earth".
 
R.N.Khan, © 2012


Details | Elegy | |

Stranger


My heart egos and my life drained from me
Simple life I live, I act as I know all
But I know not, no, not even a little
I earnestly seek for recognitions
But my life and my heart is a hole.
An empty vessel, soulless, loveless

I have been succumb by the pain of heart aches
I have become a broken man,
Know not what my future holds
I envy those who went before me, who were acknowledge

I hold on to the little shred of hope in me, 
I am being drowned by my own sorrows.
Love, hate, a new beginning and ending of my old self never seems to happen
My wrath against my enemies is nothing for they humor me with insults.
Let not death come to me in misery and despair, 
For life is full of joy and full of sorrows.

Love me, as who would love a stranger from nowhere.
Let my sorrows be taken away by the love of many
But at last, no one would.
Don’t cry for me, for no one knows me
They came before my grave and said “who is this man?”
“Why is the name not written?”
It is not written because I am nothing
Don’t shed a tear for the stranger such as me.

Life is like a dream on a calm sea,
As the captain gracefully steer and gently moves its rudder.
The passenger puts their lives in his hands,
A calm sea is the heaven of any sailor.
“So, where is my captain?”
The wind blows every so gently,
But my heart sinks gently into the sea;
Who will mourn for the stranger?

Drowned from my grief, 
My faith begins to waver like a ship tossed around by the winnowing wind
My heaven, my calm sea turns against me as I sail the Galilean sea
“Where are thy words that calm the raging storm?”
Ay! I have no peace even in my passing.
I have not thy words of command,
For my faith has been tossed away by the hating winds,  
Shallow, empty, and broken I lay here in an unnamed grave.

Only thy mercy will guide me to the third heaven!
Let my sorrows be washed away by the blood of the innocent lamp.
Let thy words be the honey drops for mine, 
As this world knows only lies
Blinded by greed and lust, 
They seek only to destroy of what they fear.
And my sorrows are tossed away by thy promises.
For thy compassion for lost sheep is great.

"Have I found peace?"
I have, for I know my heart is at rest when my body has aged
And my salvation has come
When I died with thy Words of truth


Details | Elegy | |

dad army

Dad´s Army 

On the Milky Way a black cloud appeared,
not dark as the night, but as a whole year
of winter nights put together and blended  
with stygian thoughts of a suicidal dictator.
Then slowly the cloud began to dissipate,
became whispery as Fidel Castro´s beard.  
…And there, on blue silk, a new born star,
unexciting at first but it grew stronger by  
the galaxy minute- which last a bit longer
than on earth-, till it one day sparkled with 
pride especially around Christmas.    
The moment a new star is born an old star 
lights up, like northern light, for so to fall 
into perpetuity, and I shall not see my old 
friend Clive Dunn again. 


Details | Elegy | |

The Lament For an Angel

All in one faded-black day (but let None forget) In my arms, her body lay (my life was the price to pay) A tragedy, through the lack of humanly shame (do they know pain) My darkly colleen has to suffer no more (Robert nor do you) Let me die (please hear my haunted cries) If I can not see Sophie tonight (live on with my grey) I'm just a mess of despairing words And broken nerves Another mourning, afflicted sight (through decay, love can remain) Solace, sympathy are just more lies She is all I need Until you decide she is just another sadist's toy My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away (My body is amortal, die I may, Together, our hearts will forever stay)


Details | Elegy | |

Raindrops and Teardrops


Details | Elegy | |

A TEAR FOR DADDY

written 22nd Oct 2013



Even after sixteen years
 still I cry your daughters tears
Every year on this day, will always be sad
 known only as the date, God took my dad

    1st June 1954- 22nd Oct 1997
    
         Allan Thomas Holmes


Details | Elegy | |

For Liam

I remember when I was told.
Family in silence.
It’s not fair. The heartbeat of appliances still whining,
I focus on times I thought we’d grow old...
Clouds part with unexplained violence

And our faces begin to pour.
A hundred questions, a doubt
And what else? Footprint in a concrete driveway,
A spark-maker unlit watching seagulls soar  
From the soft earth, noise drowned out.

A boy sleeps waiting to wake
To manhood. Creased cheeks quiver,
And what he gets instead are flowers.
Relics in person, I question the ache
That asks why we give rivers

And must move on, while they remain.
Held by the smooth arms of trees,
Swallowed by a blanket of grass.
I ask the plaque what I cannot my brain,
Logic replaced by glassy guarantees

I see right through. He will not rise.
Facing away from a marching sun,
A no longer marching son lies.


Details | Elegy | |

hail, someone, death is hell

hail, someone, death is hell
he was well so well
soothing like waters from the well
& the world did him hail
tho' sad but not so sad like hell
ah, death-harbinger as on a rail
crept in but who could tell
which way she came oh, tell
as some practiced steps did fell
& the voice from deep-set hell
trembling rose like the bliss of hail.




Details | Elegy | |

FAREWELL, CATHERINE

On Sunday March thirty two thousand fourteen, my sister
lost her grim battle to cancer, she was much younger than I;
nobody would believe that she fervently prayed while waiting to die...
who gave such strength to endure pain, if not her faith of believer?
I stood by her touching her forehead to offer some consolation...
she tried to smile, but was overcome by pangs of desperation. 
  

If horrid fate had cut abruptly her life, prayers provided endless comfort;
and accepting death as a relief from suffering, she cherished that thought!

  
Farewell, Catherine...even the March gloomy sky cries
to express its ample sympathy for someone with moribund eyes!
A treasure you have left: gems that gleam as the eternal stars,
and each one of them reflects the gentle smile of your shining grace
that everyone saw when you opened those warm arms...
and by loving everyone, you taught us the meaning of an embrace!   


Farewell, Catherine...find joy in that celestial place above the earth's sphere,
there happiness is heard through songs that praise glorious love, not fear!  


We'll remember those delightful moments you shared with us...
when joy shone on a face that did not know the bitterness 
of tears! Yes, they are imprinted on these weeping hearts
as the words of Virgil who commemorated the brave souls 
that accomplished great things never forgotten by fleeing time...
isn't your story of indomitable courage for us to read and admire?


Details | Elegy | |

Where are you

You flourished and blurred
like a spark on wind

Gracefully and quickly like a frightened hind
in pursuit of light

You harvested through bushy meadows
taken by blight

In struggle with plight
had you lost your might

And gave out
although never you gave up.

Where are you?
For you must be still there.

For I still can feel you
somewhere in the air.


Details | Elegy | |

Let Go

A long list of names with not a friend among them
Is it just of book of hidden faces
Forgotten faces?
Not a single word I've ever said was
written with truth
And here's the proof

When there's tears streaming down my face
Stuck in place
Is a smile that is a lie
When every time  I look around
I want to die

No friendly faces, in the brightest of places
And I can't make a sound
Is this life or is it just a dark hell
 How is one to live without living
Feeling lonely
Lost in a sea of sound

The darkness inside me
Is seeping through my heart
and making me lose my self control
Turn the shower up higher so they don't hear me cry
It's all I can do, just living a lie

The friends I thought I had
left when I was reaching my lowest
Now as I sink below the surface
The sun is the dimmest of lights

Scratching at my sides
Not ready to go back to the blade
So long gone, I've reached the breaking point 
but I'm afraid to let go


Details | Elegy | |

WRECK OF SHIP-AFRICA

WRECK OF SHIP-AFRICA

Where is the sentiment of those who fought?
When their blood is shed and their story taught
Are we forgetting or we never knew.

Are we going to watch this sheep wreck
O! I cry for the captains are lepers and dread
We need another Christ to save us from ourselves

Life is at stake not for a good and reasoned course
Selfishness and brutality, innocent and the guilty suffers
The strong wage war against the weak without remorse.



Details | Elegy | |

Grandfather

My Grandfather High-backed chair facing the corner, Window over books so cherished Loved. Like the greatest of scholars, but still humble He was a trove of stories Air of silence on a place once full Of stories from a time past, A time of honor and courage and duty Of country and spirit; fighting an enemy Made from indescribable evil. Tales of valor, sand, and bullets Lions and machine guns, young men in battle Fighting for their lives. Knowing the enemy was like a jackal Cruel and twisted, an army of evil He witnessed it all First hand, in the heat of the day And cold of night. Tales passed on, spoken In a way that conveyed such knowledge That one was to sit in amazement, and hear it Firsthand from the chair facing the corner. Like a throne of deep thought. The day he left this world, I wept. Seeing him not but a day before, It was harder than I could have imagined. The pain is real, but so were the memories And so the legacy of the veteran lives on. The chair sat vacant, but I felt him there. The books on the shelf, the other treasures Left behind held him here on earth While the memories anchored him in our hearts. The man in the chair shall never be forgotten And the stories shall pass far into the generations.


Details | Elegy | |

SORROWS OF MY HEART

The sorrows that assail my heart
Heralding the free flow of forlorn tears
Tears unaccompanied by the usual cries
Tears of a heavy heart
That's what they are,
Tears borne out of heart over - weighed by sorrows
That's what they are,
Tears of uncontrollable emotions.

The sorrows of my heart sired by my loss of you
Strenghtened by constant thoughts of you
Thoughts that upholds the uniqueness of the times we shared
Accentuating the joys together we knew
The happiness together as one we found
Our glorious moments
Moments I always relive in my dreams.

My loss of you
From my mind
Diffuses to my heart
It condensed into particles of sorrow
Particle that soon sediment
Forming an invincible heavy bulk
Making heavy my heart.

From my mind
The mist of my loss rises to my eyes
Like the ocean waters
It evaporates
Condensing and liquidating in my eyes
Bathing my eyelids
Trickling down my cheeks
Rushing down my cheeks in torrential cascades.

My heart has fell into my stomach
Killing all butterflies fluttering in my stomach
That day you bade me goodbye
That day that in my arms
You painfully though smilingly muttered to me goodbye
That painful loss of you
That bored a nonrefillable hole in my heart
Was what heralded the sorrows of my heart.


Details | Elegy | |

GREAT UNCLE ALBERT

In Arras field he watched that day
A flash of light against the grey,
High explosives whistled all around
And fallen thousands filled the ground.
Kentish man against the wall,
He had defended to the last;
A fleeting life--
So briefly did it pass.

One of the Lost generation  of World War ONE 1918


Details | Elegy | |

THE SOUL OF MAIDEN

 
Destiny fraught with hardship 
So much in aconite life of the 
hapless soul
In row prone with some ponce
Who could save as she fret? 
Conscripted in a route routed 
march
On lisping lips of the wobbly 
tongue 
Like bird she could afar and 
appear in minute 
As it were when one is peregrine 
in gradgrinds
It could be anything but help 
Dove like as seen on thy alter
Not just a deist in your 
conception 
What could have warrant such 
Towards these wench 
If there were life after where she 
was
The issuance of ones isonomy 
to beloved family
Like teddy bay roaming in the 
hands of strangers
Straining in no altercation 
Yes, she live up to her mournful 
pride
Waited in many of her days 
Maybe the sun could deign and 
benign her path.  
 


Details | Elegy | |

MAMA

You gave the gift of life to me 
And through your love you set me free 
Where in this world would I be
Without you. 

I have your star that shines on me 
Burning bright and endlessly 
Shows me how I need to be
Without you. 

The first embrace we ever seek 
The first sweet kiss upon the cheek 
The first word that we ever speak is Mama 
The light forever in my eyes 
The angel walking by my side 
The word that wells me up inside is Mama. 

En el duro camino andamos 
Te veo momentos de oro 
El angel de pie a mi lado, Mama 

La luz que brilla en mis ojos  
Ella que me quita el dolor 
Con su alma nunca estoy solo, Mama. 

On fields of destruction soldiers die 
Sent there by leaders who just lie 
And as they fall the young men cry for Mama. 

And so the circle closes fast 
The future will be as the past 
The first word spoken and the last 
Mama.

The first embrace we ever seek 
The first sweet kiss upon the cheek 
The first word that we ever speak is Mama 
The light forever in my eyes 
The angel walking by my side 
The word that wells me up inside is Mama 
Mama, Mama. 

SEE THIS SUNG ON YOUTUBE: LOUIS SPENCE. MAMA  

THANK YOU.











Details | Elegy | |

The Closet

Doubled up,
Hunched and hollowed;
Concealed, sitting in this musty closet.

Clutching memories to my chest and
Spreading out the others across this
Dusty darkened floor.
So dim, like these remembrances...

Straining to see through tears and years.
Some deeper wounds don’t fade with time,
Like yours, sweet long gone child of mine.

Advised against this self infliction,
I cannot stay away from my secret addiction.
Infused with your smells and special things,
I force myself to keep you here with me.
Inside my heart and this compartment.

Watching you grow in my imagination: older, taller.
Exquisite bittersweet daydreams
Of you still here and needing me.

So, gently back into the box my treasure;
Rest for now…time is not measured.
Soon I’ll return and once again
Hold your glossy framed grin
Against my broken heart.


Details | Elegy | |

On The Road To Heaven { Mom's Elegy }

<                    We are gathered here today to celebrate Bernadine Goerlich's life
                      Though taken from us to soon she has now risen to be with the Lord
                      Do not fret for greif and sorrow shall pass too
                      Let us bow our heads and pray 
                      In thy name of the Father Son And Holy Spirit  {Amen }

                      At the tender age of 70 she lived her life to the fullest
                      Raising a family of 10 she always had an xtra room
                      For she loved her God family friends and her beloved pets
                      And even heard of her always baking cakes cookies pies and italian foods
                      She really must of had her hands full with 5 boys and 5 girls

                      For Lord please cradle her in your everlasting arms
                      Wash away her sins and lift her spirit to you
                      For she has earned her wings of golden tone
                      And  now can rejoiced with her own Father and Mother
                      In God's jubliee Kingdom  Let us pray {Amen]


Entry For
Dr. Ram's
Elegy Contest
G.L. All



In Loving Memory Of Mom
{1934 - 2005 }


Details | Elegy | |

Sweet Sorrow

I have hid mine heart,
Within a prison cell,
Dark and cold,
Whose key, only you hold.

I have buried mine memories,
Within the sands of time,
None is bare,
Those secrets, only you and I 
share.

From thenceforth do we part,
From light and into darkness 
do I tarry,
Into perdition,
E'en to the close of my time.

The memory of you, doth 
linger,
E'en as the flowers, sprout on 
graves,
And as the sun, doth shine,
E'en on the viper,

So I, e'en through the curse of 
time,
Tarry forth, 
E'en to the sunset of my life,
These memories, a constant 
companion.


Details | Elegy | |

Gypsy

I find it strange coming home 
and not seeing you this evening
I know I shall never see your eyes again
but I shall always feel their gaze
anytime thoughts of you come to my mind
I can still hear your pitiful moan
the first day I kept you in the kennel
Forgive me for not realizing 
that a spirit like yours
was not meant to be caged
After you were set free
how different and alive you looked
jumping around in the yard
with  those precise energetic leaps
So goodbye my little Gypsy
I shall never see you again
but you will always dwell
in that secret spot in my heart
Thank you for the beauty
you brought into my life



November 4, 2013


Details | Elegy | |

At the darkest time

At the darkest time On the darkest day, You took my hand, You took me to play. I thought it strange, I thought it wise That there in the wood The secret lies. But then I saw it The flicker of light, The sound of birds As they took to their flight. The ray of sunshine Filled your eyes, Around us filled With silent lies. My smile was met From cheek to cheek, Your hand around mine As your eyes grew weak. I see your face Amongst the light, The day that soon Transformed to night. I’m alone now And alone I’ll stay Till the moon flips over And the sky turns grey. But the hand that took, Took me to play, Is there by my heart And there it will stay.


Details | Elegy | |

Maria Drew

she lit the candle,
watched the wick kindle
but as the flame burst forth
the wind by windows fought-

But alas! the flame, stabbed
wavered for life, but sabbed
soon faltered and died.
thereupon, she sighed

The drapes rise and fall
the wind hurries at call
and another match lit
by its glow she saw it-

The pale face, withered smile
there lies her heart, off a-mile
away to the towered end-
Yet still the flame died astern

The scream through the night-
the call of the wild a-flight
as a heart is stabbed a new
by the despair of Maria Drew.


Details | Elegy | |

Tears of the Broken

Introduction: At some point of our lives, someone close to us departs off to the next
phase. We think of the good times and try not to think the bad; but sometimes it haunts us
back to how we responded in a naive way for our juvenile wishes. And sometimes we see them
in our dreams at the utmost optimism and glory. But the fact that we get to realize what
we did back then may have cherished and broken their souls in some ways, we always wonder
if we could alter the deeds that wounded their affection in our times of immaturity…And
pray that we get a second chance to do so for our next life. *the first two lines have some inspiration from another piece*



Even if our hearts were as strong as a storm, we’d still feel a little bit sad Knowing that we’ve lost our grandfather, our friend, our dad. For so many years, we’ve felt their presence In so many ways, we’ve felt complete, But truly, even if we deny – We sometimes skip a heartbeat. Our lives are nothing but their memories and their art, Orbiting us each day, reminding us of who we are Where we stand and to whom we belong, We pray and cry up oceans for them night after night Praying to be together just one more time, in the worlds of light. But yes you are so fortunate, that you got to leave, You’ve made it to the greater step, I pray for us to meet. May your soul be blessed and may it shine brighter than the sun, Again and again ‘I love you’ it’s not a lie, I may not have said it that much But I hope you knew inside, even if I may have been unkind as such Nothing is left for us to do but feel the tears stream down our eyes For we, once in a while have broken their hearts with one or two lies, Their face glows and vividly fades away from our dreams those nights That’s when we fall, fall down to our knees, pray for we could have changed The ways we reacted back in those days. Thoughts of those moments, thoughts of their sorrow smile Now makes us realize how we never cared, For that to overcome, we treasure the good times we’ve shared, The times we’ve heard them say “You’ve made me proud” The times we’ve felt them lay their hands, oh so be crowned. Their tender touch, their forgiveness Their blessings for us and their happiness, We pray to feel it all again Bring it all again, To the eternal life, after this time.


Details | Elegy | |

MONOLITH

monolith wrapped
with blackish aura
now old lion has
lost it's strength 
wiggles under the
iron gossamer
sometimes yelps
yawns and sighs 
waiting in labyrinth
for macabre end




For P.D'S contest


Details | Elegy | |

My Kashmir Burns (Part 1)

I picture Kashmir through lightened KL. News of another massacre darkens my eyes
Winds are thirsty there. They continue to taste the young blood.
I groom myself with exquisite things,
Sipping ice tea in ac room, I comfort myself
And Kashmir burns. Kashmir set ablaze

I can smell the warm blood of beaten corpse
Where from winds bought this smell. Somewhere Karbala reborn.
Mosques are being slammed
There windows stoned. And the black boots leave their footprints on Mimber
Even God judges on evidence
There is one Imaam left now; he hides her daughters in his shadow
A blunt knife in his hands; soon he will sacrifice them to keep their innocence
Kashmir is burning. Kashmir is bleeding
And I write.

Army jeep chases the tracks. To find the associated bodies
They are alive now. Soon they will be dead
From Patan to Sopor, And in narrow passages of nostalgic downtown
Ghosts of curfew
Haunt the houses for young souls.

From the Kupwara cantonments, search lights chase emptiness
Nothing is left now. Search lights can’t see inside the graves
A boy there went missing for two days. His father starts digging his grave.
I put my earphones on and I close my eyes. I sleep
While my Kashmir is ablaze
“It’s me poor farmer’s son. Kupwara’s charm, I feel no pain”.
I see him so alive in my dreams.
He chants songs of Mahjoor from his burnt lips. My hands shiver. He has no finger nails.
I see his smoke tanned skin. Same as that of Khayam’s barbeques
He stands at a distance from me. I can still smell kerosene
“Tell my mother to let her heart become cold. Her heart will not bear my state.
Tell my mother to let her eyes become blind. Her eyes will not withstand my sight.”
I follow him towards his tortured body. He tells me to follow the spilled blood.
His blood has made its own Jhelum. I row on it. Until it gets lost in black boots
The story will turn into legend. I find his body no more.

On the streets silence prevails. Nobody has permission to wail.
Sisters are beatifying coffins while brothers look for stones.
For bullets there will be stones
Kashmir is ablaze. She is wailing in grotesque tones.
In Lal Ded hospital a new born cries: Father register me at cantonment then take me out
Death is recruiting in dozens at a time.
Tomorrow is curfew. Death has no curfew pass.
How they want to identity you. Becomes your identity
People burn up all you identity cards.


Details | Elegy | |

A lament with glass of whiskey

I devour the time I came by -
By divine grace the twilight glinted
With the bedewed lips I felt mine
As I took the sip from my glass of whiskey 
Blended with soda and ice.
The wind passed by the solstice time
I greeted the solitude that I took pride
With my nerves resting at peace
Yet I revived my soul to see her clearly in my mind's eye.
Drops fell upon my sour cheeks
Yet I veiled those with an ethereal smile
As I poured another sip  from my glass of whiskey
I moaned with her fading memoirs 
As my senses were getting confined.
I tried to speak but I couldn't whisper even
As I saw her going away with someone
I tried to stop but I couldn't walk even
When I realized I lost my nerves, I lost my senses
And I let her go, pouring another to my whiskey glass. 
For once I feared and I shivered
And to honor my soul I tried to cheer
Neither I was drunk, nor it was cold
I opined my soul among the mortals of solitude
And I inhered with her memoirs by the twilight
That shone - as I poured a drop of my tears
in my whiskey glass.


Details | Elegy | |

Little Girl of Mary King's Close

A little girl so coy and sweet Used to wander in the street Her little dress and shawl she’d wear She’d skip and run without a care Her hair about her face would fly As wind blew clouds across the sky The sun would shine above the city Warm upon her face so pretty There with friends she’d sing a song A ring-of-roses all day long Her doll she’d carry everywhere Made by her mam who'd brought her there Where had she gone, where was she now; To give her comfort, to cool her brow? Lying there upon her stretcher Desperate for mam to come and fetch her With pustules oozing, a putrid stink In inky blackness her eyes would blink She waited for the sound of feet Perhaps dry, stale bread for her to eat Shoved below the heavy door On a plate, upon the floor But she’d become too weak to stand To get the food she’d need a hand Fear of illness, fear of death Fear of such a young ones breath Prevented them from coming in Barred her from seeing friend or kin Stuffy and close the room was small No one seemed to care at all Her doll they’d wrenched out of her arms And burned it to avail their qualms No traces of disease would spread Remaining sealed away instead She longed again the world to see, She lay there waiting patiently She thought for her they’d surely come Her father a merry tune would hum Drifting in and out of sleep No more tears of loneliness to weep Nothing but a feeble moan For she was left there all alone Below the new you’ll find a room Timeworn and hidden in the gloom It’s there you’ll feel her presence nigh It’s there she lay abandoned to die When you have to leave and go Quiet footsteps behind you tiptoe She follows you a little way She waits for you to turn and say, “Take my hand and come with me. Into the light… walk, be free.” But solitary and confined she’s made to stay As aeons pass and flit away Forsaken child of the distant past, I pray God frees your soul at last.


Details | Elegy | |

Tears Must Fall (In honor of the Virginia Tech tragedy)

Unlock your sorrowful tears,
Let them flow Like a raging river. 

From the depths of your being
howl Like a wolfcub who has been
Abandoned by his pack.

Ask for the comfort you will
need in all the days to come.

Keep your expression of sorrow
with you as Long as you need to grieve.
It will bend of it's own 
accord when you are finished.

Allow yourself the unhindered crying
your soul will require to heal.

To make sense of things, grasp your 
spirituality as a way of sailing 
far far away from the utter
horror of it all.

Do not try to push those tears aside,
as your pain and suffering is meaningful,

Though it does not feel that way now...

Take their photo's from your wallets
and display them at will,
with awesome Love and abundant pride.
Take them out as need be
and shower them with tears and memories.

I promise you, it will validate
their very existance.

Know that the very waters of your
faith will certainly be tested.
Also know that this too shall pass.

Your pain will remain forever but
your faith will return tenfold.

Allow the Light to pass over your
darkness and believe that one day
There will be healing.

If you can find the strength within,
you must allow for access back into
Your hearts, for one day you will
feel entitled to open the gates that
have held you under seige.

         
Because grief will never Leave you
where it finds you...


Details | Elegy | |

Elegy To Olusola Okunlola Akinpade

Olusola!!!

A shoulder for the beholder,

A rose amidst forgetful thorns,

A green leaf in a golden savanna meadow

And a light for a lonely shadow.

Rest baba;

Rest on our rocky pillow,

Rest baba;

Rest on our belly with earthly blanket,

We have come again with love,

Here without bother,

We are here again in mournful memories,Olusola

That you keep resting,

Till we meet again.


Details | Elegy | |

No Title to This

Stuck at the bottom 

I'm caving in. 

One thought of you not here 

Puts me in a claustrophobic nightmare. 

I can't wake up. 

I may not see you again. 

Reality isn't different from my sleep. 

I'm still running aimlessly away to nowhere. 

I'm so blinded. 

Every second is hidden that I'm spinning in circles. 

Makes me reckless, violent, purple dead. 

Over and over something's wanting me to say 

I was a creep for treating you that way. 

Can you forgive me? 

I promise I won't make you cry. 

One more chance I'll be a loyal friend. 

Walk to your door. 

I'm closing in. 

Standing on thin ice there's no turning back. 

I'll say it straight out without fumbling. 

For once in my life 

I confess it was a mess. 

Screwed up everything special we had planned. 

But now I'm here alone. 

Hope is my only invisible ally. 

I raise my white flag to the skies. 

Will you operate my wounded heart? 

The stakes are high. 

But I'm willing to continue where we left off 

If you have room in your heart for rent.


Details | Elegy | |

A dirge for Dimgba Igwe

The rooster dares to crow
as the reaper reaps and sows
tender souls of human life
upon this earth full of strife

Before the breaking of dawn
when void shadows lie to fawn
a righteous seed will stand a price
denying this cock from crowing thrice

The sick sickle that reaps this seed
shall live before our Sun to bleed
as spored seeds do solemnly fall
awaiting the suns righteous call

Though these words may hit and run
leaving a mangled poetry as fun
the Sun approaches vengeful and bright
bringing all our hidden works to open light

Adieu Dimgba Igwe our voiced seed
your bloods wailing call, angels shall heed


Details | Elegy | |

Hello.../...Goodbye to Us

So eloquent the beauty absorbed around you;

You uplifted me by your sweet aroma.

Oh, I'm very sorry to say,

That day in May caused a breath to pay.

You stole my heart away

And cured my parading heartache;

Only if I'd known what would have brought that day,

Then I'd have hidden and gone another time.

I felt plagued and wanted to die;

As a lover would take a shot for you, I'd dodge infinity for you.

Yet only a stranger we both were, 

I'm here writing this letter swollen with a million tears of heavy cries. 

Maybe it could have been fate that we unofficially met;

A destiny resulting in both loss and gain.

A second's glance is certain to be the catch,

Since here I stand alone in the rain.

A passive reflection of sorrow illuminates from the scar;

My heart begins to beat slowly in rhythm with my eyes. 

The ticking of the clock abruptly stops;

"I know you're up there," I finally whisper  

…….smile


Details | Elegy | |

My Kashmir Burns (Part 2)

Another son is dead, until five he lived.
For his long life at Shah-Hamdan he had threads tied
“Shehij ninder yee nai. Gahas Kormakh Khudayas Hawale”, his mother cries.
No news can penetrate across the mountains. Satellites work here no more
My Kashmir burns. And no one knows.
An old woman with torn scarf sits besides fire. While feeding her neighbor’s child
She sighs. Is my son dead or alive? She silently cries.
In Madrasa I hear children reciting Quran. A girl’s come out dragging her feet.
I remember her from somewhere. I remember her seeing naked. 
Oh! God she is the one who was raped.

Nights have turned pitch black. My eyes are losing the habit of sight
Midnight soldier’s set another house ablaze. At least there is some sort of light.
Many letters have been written to God. Postcards posted of those raped girl’s 
But its curfew again. No post office deliver’s the message again.
Death comes from everywhere. Close your windows mother
For bullet respects no womb. It turned Gulistans into tombs.
From the plains the visitors come to visit their God’s
They are our only witnesses but hypocrites at heart.
They say paradise is kaasmir. While my Kashmir is ablaze
They testify against us. Is anybody witnessing this? No one at all
Be witness to at least this. Open up your eyes my Lord!

When paradise is painted with colors of hell, certainly divinity loses its grace
In the news the reporter is beaten. Bamboo sticks are hungry for human blood.
Let Kashmir go to hell. A new promise in their portfolio.
Threads have given up at Dastegeer’s place. Even they are horrified at our fate.
In Maisuma boys are dragged by police. They close their dreams, end their screams
In a police gypsy.
Men shape into monsters when they are given right to anarchy.
The gypsy drives them into the dark cantonments. They will remember this day
Interrogation officer comes. After celebrating his son’s birthday.
The winds from the cantonments bring their news
Burned tires around their necks. Burning stoves near their heads.
The knife tearing up their flesh.
And the boys cry, “We haven’t batted yet. Cricket. We know nothing”.

Death wants children to be headlines
Hunger has affected the heavens as well.
Graves are full. No more space left.
We need land of the plains. For our graves.
In the ac car the bureaucrat goes. The mother’s with search full eyes
Ask about their sons they lost. They drink their tears
And he sips champagne.


Details | Elegy | |

Mistake

As blood drips down
I stare at myself with a frown
Her body flashy red
Stabbed her dead
Dropped my knife
Started to caress my wife
Gruesome love
As I removed my infected glove
Flowed in my mind were memories
How the joy to bury her in the cemeteries’ graves
I chopped her many and waves
Of worship appeared
I knew I feared
This, I loved too much
I remember the first touch
My hands on her hips
Licked mine and on her lips
As my hand gentle rows to the end of her back
I managed to take a snack
My hands reaching her round behind
Combined of the kissing of her chest
Licking between the two breast
I become more attracted
And more distracted
Pushed her on the bed
Instead my jumping ahead
I gave time
So then she can be mine
In the mid-dust, forever
Me and her together
As I stormed with the ring
I became the king
And she is my queen
The glorious scene
In a dull and faded
With me is hatred
I had to say
In a mysterious way
I have done a mistake
That no one can break
I picked the knife stabbed myself and returned
To my lover that I burned…


Details | Elegy | |

~WOUNDED~

~WOUNDED~


Please forgive me...


Sometimes th' hardships of life,devour Th' Lamb within
Strife n' cares of this world,often render me carnal
Pain and past failures,exhume hideous expressions of hate
Animosity it seems,pacifieth these insurrections too surely


Pardons are non~existant,in these upheavals of melancholy
The abandonings of my love,leaves my soul segregatious
Reckoning runs rampant,for seek of repression's remedy
For an cure for this curse,I long for th' day's dawning


My friends and lovers of fair,I beg your patience for my burdening
In th' finest moment in time,I hope we share bluest skies
For all hearts' desires granted,I would lay myself to rest
Even ones who loathe me,I would not allow their seclusion


If my truest of spirit and flesh,attain symmetry harmon'd...
You will see expressly how precious,you are to my delight'ng
But so many wounds exist,of battles long 'fore fought...
It is of a truth I am,from them all...dying



~AZAZA~'09


Details | Elegy | |

Silent echos

                           
                             When you hear the sound of echos near
                                       You know it's the souls  
                                             crying in fear
                                  out of respect they stay very still 
                                because of the outcome of God's will.


Details | Elegy | |

Voices From The Sky

So sad So very, very sad Those voices from the sky So little time So much to say, In those Moments before they die So few So very, very few The words that said goodbye So far away So very, very far away… Yet heard…every whisper…every sigh So many… I love you’s so many stifled cries So many pauses…so many tear-filled eyes So lovely So very, very lovely Those precious words from on high So silent So very, profoundly silent After that last goodbye Those last “I love you’s, Tell the kids I love them too We’ll meet again… me and you” Phones gently So, so gently Laid down and moved aside So hard So very, very hard to leave Those voices from the sky Let's Roll!!


Details | Elegy | |

Tears in Washington (RIP Sean Taylor)

Tears are shed in Washington
the news is so sad
the death of one of our own
a tragic moment
reminds us a star can fade
upon Fed Ex field
we will keep his memory


Details | Elegy | |

Ice Cold

I see you there
While your swarms of light surround you
A typhoon could hit,
And you'd still stand just as still
Your expression unfaltering through it all

 
It is spring now
Your name smells like flowers
But the rose
Of your cheeks is gone
Winter frost clings to your hardened face

 
Your eyes were rich
Like sunset on planting soil
Warm earth to sleep on
Now I sleep in the trees
I always get frostbite from the cold ground

 
A touch of your skin
Would make my heart melt
Last time we met
Gliding your arm underneath my robes,
I shivered
You were ice cold


Details | Elegy | |

Drops of May Weather Storms

I know your pain 
Although I don't know what's happening, 
I can still feel the vain. 
Seems like the beginning is the ending 

One moment there's bliss 
It feels much like a wet kiss. 
But out of nowhere you see a mirror, 
"It felt so real," as you stand there alone. 

You try to make sense of it all; 
Yet everything begins to fall. 
"AHHHH!" you scream to the top of your lungs. 
Your blue eyes are running waterfalls. 

It hurts me to see a single tear, 
You're not the only one to hide in the room. 
Swallow your tears, don't let it drop, 
A splash will only cause more bitter props. 

But like I say, 
Tomorrow will always bring another day. 
So Faith, throw away your thorns, 
anticipating a happy God-given next day.


Details | Elegy | |

Deceitful Love

It was a long time ago
When I first saw your face
And I knew in that instant
My heart was captured in grace.

But how could I know,
If your heart opens its door?
I’m a stranger you don’t know,
Someone you haven’t seen before.

Oh have I tried?
To capture your eye
Oh have I failed?
With tears on my eye.

It was a short time before
When I first talked to you.
Your voices are honey to my ears
And your smile just wiped my tears.

Surely I didn't know
That your smiles are all deceitful
Your lips were speaking out lies
And your beauty was wolves disguise.

I never knew it for sure
Why my heart is still not cure
Its wound was just too painful
And its beat was unsecured.

I wanted you to understand
That all I want is to be your friend
But I didn't know I was speaking the lies
When deep down I was screaming “Good-bye!”

Ever did I believe?
That you would treat me like a thief.
After all those I have tried
You act like I’m a spy.

You’re angels for adults,
But devil to the others.
You have beauty on the outside,
But ugliness kept inside.

I won’t regret of loving you
Nor regret of needing you.
For my heart knew its true love
And it’ll forgive what had happened above.

But I regret a thousand times
For choosing you at first sight
And yes I do regeret more
For playing on love when I was bore.

Haven’t I known your true face now?
But look at me, I still allow
My two-face heart to fall in lust
With the person who’s got no trust!

I called you in a million times
You put me out just one try
My patient had no longer last
And my tears began to dry.

Should I say “Good-bye my love”?
Or should I cry “When will I’m heard”?
It’s just too simple for now I get
That I just wanted to be your friend. 


Details | Elegy | |

Your time has come

You have gone down,
With the setting sun,
The shadow of you,
No longer hovers around,
Never to hear the beat of your feet,
Our touch of palms,
Can no longer meet,
No longer we hear,
The whisper of your voice,
God's cherished choice you are,
Your hour is here,
Your time has come,
This earth you once traversed,
Your seeds of love dutifully dispersed,
A peaceful pathway,
Leads to heaven's gate,
God has beckoned you,
There's no longer a wait.


Details | Elegy | |

When words mean nothing

How to abate the loathing
When words mean nothing?

There are moments
In human existence

When
Any resistance
against baleful fate
is futile.

When
One is left
with his thoughts
Forsaken 
by all gods

Astonished immensely
by the world vile
which first
gave him birth
and now
devours him
with mirth

Agonizes he
in every spot
on the Earth

Where does his heart belong to
Never will he learn

How to console such a man
When all words would burn?

How to abate the loathing
When words mean nothing?


Details | Elegy | |

Time, Love, and Loss

He loves her. 
His love for her never ends. 
“Love is patient, love is kind.” 
The good book says. 
Time..
It is your best friend if you think about it. 
It is also your worst enemy; 
It shows no mercy nor welcomes your white flag. 
The sinister disguise of Death and his pale green horse,
Hung in offices, homes, and churches. 
12:08 pm.. 
Tears paint his face and the rain befriends him. 
12:35 pm.. 
Hugs, kisses, and condolences: 
“Love never dies.” 
“Love lasts for eternity.” 
“She will always live in you.” 
I don’t respond; 
I lack the strength. 
I have crafted up a bronze statue in my heart. 
Forever will my love be for her. 
Forever will I be her keepsake.  
The consequence of love is not a tragedy as I once believed. 
The tragedy is not understanding what love is. 
The tragedy is not being loved. 
My heart is now the way it should be.


Details | Elegy | |

Luna

Black as night but bright as the moon,
Oh sweet angel, God took you too soon.
You brightened my day; you lit up my night,
And even in the heavens, you’ll be my guiding light.


Details | Elegy | |

Bloodless On Mother's Day

There is a glare of stray sunlight
daring to reverberate
through spiderwebbed glass I haven't
found energy to fix
in the span of four years.
It is too much of a mirror,
too tangible a thought,
to make new.
It's lithe fingers, thin and bony, 
and mockingly bright,
steal over embossed cardstock that arrives, like clockwork,
in deepest sympathy.
And a thornless bouquet of pastels laden with
Babies Breath
only draws on blood long lost;
nobody seems to comprehend such an allegory,
or lack there of,
so it can't be carried
over the steps.




"Bloodless On Mother's Day"
Jenna-Nichole Conrad
Wordsmith


Details | Elegy | |

weeps ! WEEPS ! weeps

weeps ! WEEPS ! weeps
whispers my heart
while I lay in bed
mind powered with thoughts-

weeps ! WEEPS ! weeps
people dying around the world
who don't have a place to sleep
whose everyday thought is death-

weeps ! WEEPS ! weeps
falling bombs around the world
hunger plaguing brothers
famine engulfing-

weeps ! WEEPS ! weeps
you enjoy the sleep
and others are dying
and i start weeping-





Details | Elegy | |

paradise

AS OF THE PROMISE GOD MADE TO HUMANS,
IT IS A SHAME THAT THE PROMISE IS FAR FETCHED
BECAUSE THE HUMAN RACE SHEDS BLOOD WITH EVIL STRANDS
THAT POLLUTE HUMAN EXISTENCE AWAY FROM WHAT IS SEARCHED;

"PARADISE! PARADISE! PARADISE!" HEAR THE CHURCHES SING OF
AS IF IT IS AT THE NEXT ROAD CLOSE TO MAN, MORTAL MAN-
MEANWHILE THEY STAY ALOOF FROM CRIES OF THE POOR-
WHILE PROSPECTIVE PARADISERS COLLAPSE ON THE FRINGES OF HEAVEN ON BAN;

WHERE IS THE PLEDGED PARADISE? WHERE DOES IT STAND?
WHEN MAN LINGERS ON THIS SINFUL STRAND
STILL HOPING TO BE WELCOME INTO HEAVENLY PARADISE;
WELL, THE ANSWER IS CLEAR AS HELL'S PARADISE OPENS ITS DOORS-


Details | Elegy | |

Destined Day

The flowers
the flowers
are crying, you see,
as they cling to the wood
that encompasses me
and the heart that still loves
the now widow above
who will hopefully never forget

that

the husband
the husband
all covered in fleurs
who now sleeps in the earth
is still grateful to her
and the heart that still pines
for the lover enshrined
who has never once thought to regret

all

the moments
the moments
that love had endowed
and 
the kisses
the kisses
that came with the vow
to
his lover
his lover
who will not allow

her memories--
to wither away,
unlike the fleurs
on destined day.


Details | Elegy | |

Misanthrope

A Misanthrope
The shape I am
Whom you reflect upon me
And where we actually belong

In times of prejudice
In times of conflict
You exacerbate the lives we live
In demolition, you retrograde all
And in conclusion

You eradicate many.
You.
Eradicate.
Many.

Naively
You made me a Misanthrope
And everybody else
Where we hate
And distrust mankind
Of our own humanity

Sad, isn't it?


Details | Elegy | |

Winters Grasp

The armor slides as I undo the clasp Cold and pained from Winters Grasp. Dragons yell and fly above, Falling dead from the strike of love. A sword in hand and mage in the other, He casts a spell and releases another. The pain of miss fire and the sorrow of death, I can feel the sadness and apologise on his breath. Anders, sweet and pure, Sometimes there is no hope for a cure. Cast your spells, cast away Cast until I see the end of day. Mistakes take place all around, Sometimes the fault should not be found. Would you be human to not have disaster? You own your magic, but not always as master. You have tried your hardest, Even with this, you heart is the largest. Let me go, into deaths reach But kiss my lips soft, like those of a peach. Let me go, but to not forget That flame in your heart for me, will always be lit. I exhale a final breath, As I slowly slip away to death. Hold not to blame, twas not your fault, But now the beatings of my heart will hault. Maker take me, into the light above, But always know, I remember your love.


Details | Elegy | |

WHAT ABOUT,,,,

THIS IS NOT SOMETHING LIGHT
FOR I WEEP AS I WRITE
THESE WORDS QUESTIONING OUR DESTNIES
WHICH ARE PERHAPS HEADING FOR CALAMITIES-

WHAT ABOUT THE WIND?
WHAT OF THE RAIN?
WHAT ABOUT THE EARTH,
WHICH SEEMS TO BE MEETING ITS DEATH?

WHAT ABOUT OUR HAPPINESS?
WHAT ABOUT THE LAUGHTER?
WILL IT CEASE FROM EXISTENCE?
WHAT ABOUT THE ALLIANCE WITH GOD?

WHAT ABOUT WHISTLING BIRDS?
WHAT ABOUT GUSHING WINDS?
WHAT ABOUT DANCING GIRLS?
WHAT ABOUT SUNRISE?

WHAT ABOUT PLAYING CHILDREN?
WHAT ABOUT GENTLE PARADISE,
SET FOR US BY OUR GOD?
WHAT OF TOMORROW's HUMANITY?

THE EARTH STANDS CULPABLE 
IN THE EYES OF THE CHRIST WHO MAY WEEP
AS HE PRESIDES ON THE LAST DAY.
WILL YOU LIKE THAT?


Details | Elegy | |

Rest in Heaven Mister 213

It was a clear dark night
When your voice was the only in sight,
The many years of childhood,
The "Hip-Hop Hooker,"
was the choice of many tunes,
So know, that in our genre,
We may never forget
How the regulations of the game was maneuvered,
By just 16 bars,
or how we jammed and sang,
Along in our car,
To the many soulful grooves,
This one, Nate Dogg is for you;
REGULATORRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Details | Elegy | |

Reset

Don't be afraid to go back in time and see the life you lived. 
Artificial smiles in a world stained with pain. 
People you trusted, you deemed as your friends. 
Only later they were icing on a cake. No one's understood you.
A book by its cover, they threw you away. 
Your heart's vulnerable, breaking to pieces day-after-day. 
Don't give up. It's not the end.
If everyone's turned their backs on you, know I'll be always there for you 'till the end.
Like shadows that never fade, it's inevitable for your angel not to walk away. 
So don't look down in tears. Just take my hand and I'll kill away the pain.  
I'll do all that I can to help you shine bright once again. 
Through death and hell, I'll forever be your friend. 
On a bed of nails, we won't turn pale. 
Don't give up. It's not the end. 
When everyone's turned their backs on you, 
know I'll be always there for you even after my end. 
Six feet under, my heart won't mend. 
Everything that has an ending has a beginning in the end. 
It's not the other way around. 
So turn around, my dear, 'cause it's time to leave our mark.  
It's the series finale of what had been. 
Two will become One. 
One will leave a legacy for the world to learn its inconsistencies. 
Let's hit the reset and see the bliss tonight. 
Because the end is not the end.


Details | Elegy | |

Elegy for Heidi

Elegy for Heidi 
            I
The clock ticks away.
But there is no layer of time 
and no decision to make. 
            II
I have been jaywalking 
on the edge of the roof
for the last few weekends;

down below the grass looks
already dark, depressed,
as if death has made it.

then a bird, a simple 
blackbird sits on the bough.
It cries out and a hand

rises from the green earth
like a bride waking from
her bridal night, gleaming.

I know, I know, I know, 
we are all life’s disciples.
             III
“Come on, wake up!”
“My God, you are from East.
It is
Still night here.” She said.
=© 2009 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar 


Details | Elegy | |

FINAL NESTING BOX

You lay in the wooden cot,
a broken sparrow,
Crushed. Bony. Frail.
Hair once plumed gold,
greyed to clumped feathers
like ragged  trampled wings,
strawed out on the dank pillow.
Face once blushed pink plump,
Jolly kind of soft with life,
Sucked to bone. Nose to Beak.
Echoes of the mask it will soon become.

I stroked this woman 
now bent back to foetus pose.
Once sworled to shell, 
wrapped inside myself,
Safe.
Now boned to carcass stick.

I wanted to hold one more time,
my child, 
frightened the last air would puff to nought from its hollowed breast.
But my sparrow turned and smiled,
a grimace to crack open any gates of envisaged hell.
Macabre teeth, once glowing love and laughter to the skies,
Now pecked to ochre stalks.

The pitiful bird pained to move.
Mucous mouth clacked open wide
To receive some lasting morsel of life.
Only its beady blue gaze 
flashed a soul of its former self, 
eyes to haunt the sea.
I swallowed back my tide of tears,  
waves of memory flooding sands of life we’d shared,
from fledgling dawn cry to this,
the final nesting box.

I wanted to stuff this cot with down 
of a million eider.
To cosset and hold soft this scrawn, gnawed through. 
Pluck teal, goose, swan.
‘Who would have thought it would come to this?’ it croaked a laugh.
I matched smile with smile.
I held the tiny claw.
Desperate not to cling too much to pain, 
too much to past.

I wanted to wrap up this dying bird 
Limp, in my hanky.
White folded white, fold on fold.
Run through the streets
shouting at the world, at some unseen power.
NO. 
She’s mine. She’s safe. Take me. 
What cruelty did I do?  
What evil must be stuffed in this maternal breast
To hold this daughter dust in my arms?


Details | Elegy | |

Goodbye Mommy

Standing 'round the stone
waiting to say goodbye,
how do you say the words
when your heart is empty.
Nothing can prepare you
for the pain of loss
when you lose someone so
close to you.
Waiting for the words
to come forward from
your lips, yet nothing
emerges past the pain.
Then you hear a soft
voice nearby saying
that which you
cannot;
Goodbye Mommy.


Details | Elegy | |

The Dead Orchid

My spirit walks the graveyard,
The music sickly sweet,
My tomb is coated with my shroud,
Folded so neat.
The flower of the mourners,
Left in the wind,
One stays dry and cold,
The Orchid , the flower of sin.
The sobering touch of autumn,
Sweeping my soul away,
The rain will soon pass,
All I pray is to stay.


Details | Elegy | |

Sketch

 To make a new experience,
once I thought to walk down my home,
from Esplanade to Tollygaunge….. 
 
I crossed the Chowrungee
& walked down the foot of the Grand,
I saw an oldman to his daily daydreams',
eyes to the heaven - and hands to the earth,
leaning there to the marble pillar beside the Bata-showroom.
I crossed him and hundreds passed by,
thousands looked at him
and rest, running to the new market's new brand.
 
Little further I went…
infront of the Indian Museum,
there I saw a woman, with her child in the warmth of her arms,
sitting there crying for her life and praying for her child,
but, none looked down to the present,
rather, eager to know the legends,
and hundreds came out by the history;
rest were still in the museum,
in the future through the time machine.
 
I went on, walking down by the foot,
crossed the road and  further a two minutes of walk,
as I headed to the Victoria Memorial Hall-
the beautiful marble palace and its calm surrounding,
there the couples making their day, and ,
one making a sketch of that beautiful marble architecture,
but, none could make a sketch of that little baby's heart…
who's clothings were only his naked body,
crying for little shelter and thirst for mother's breast milk. 
He was born to make a new life,
and he's lying there for someone could sketch his lost life.
 
I realized then ,
what I thought of an experience to walk down to my home,
from Esplanade to Tollygaunge,
is an experience to make a sketch….
of the real life,
 in Kolkata.


Details | Elegy | |

Little Haley Died Today

Haley gave up the ghost today,
all we could do was cry and pray.
She'd suffered so long, her whole life,
disease had wracked her body with strife.

Cystic Fibrosis did her in,
choked her lungs and kept her thin,
poor little child, we knew her well,
spending so much time in hospital hell.

She barely made twenty-one,
and now her short life's said and done.
We cried for her mother, in such grief,
but to Haley, by God, death was a relief.

©Danielle White


Details | Elegy | |

Wistful Breath

Could be any day now,
waiting for that last breath and a peek,
an opening, of glazed orbs once blue.
Wanting him to stay forever
even though his body laughs at me.
Each consuming cell eager for his parts;
each consuming cell seeking malice against him.

Time rips away
as cafeteria food tears apart my stomach.
I churn altogether with labored breaths we share –
One, two… three, four… neither of us ready.
I hunger for a smile from ragged ends of lips,
holding a crushed pastry in my hand and looking
on the first man I ever loved.

Down sterile hallways and up to floor three,
past gleaming instruments waiting for purchase,
where days ago he inched forward, struggled, bending,
working at leaving there –
Twists and pulls and penicillin and Jello.
“Getting out of here tomorrow.”
Yet room 3220 never released him.

Eighty-two years, some tattered, some fulfilled,
his face before an enchantment of warmth.
I kiss him and his cheeks dampen and he cannot hear me
because the whispers devour him in such a small room,
poised to yank grandfather away from me.
I yell, surprising myself, worried about his safekeeping.
And they tell me the angels’ surround him.

But I fear giving him over to strangers
and question everything then, right then,
while mourners touch him, all eyes able, all mouths perfunctory motions
Of grief and despair that only I should share with only him.
And these angels… are they good enough
to take his hands turning blue,
and his second-hand hearing aids?

At three a.m. I cringe at my own suspicions
and with the fifth breath I believe in that place, for him,
anything (even that) I will believe, for him.
His prayers are mine as long as the pain ceases,
though my angels are morphine and the twelve-hour shifts
of Margaret and Sam and Betty,
who have known him three days and call him “sweetheart”.




 
  



 


Details | Elegy | |

FAMILY GATHERING

The crowded room filled with family &  friends has become overwhelmingly small

I’m surrounded by people who love me yet I feel like I wanna cry

Familiar hands rub my back and whispers tell me everything will be alright

In time of course? Of course 

I wanna say thank you for coming but I can’t

My thickened tongue and dry throat keeps my awkward but sincere words bottled up

So I don’t respond, I can’t respond

Happiness feels like grief and home just doesn't feel like HOME

Everyone’s being so supportive but I just wanna be left ALONE


Written & copyrighted by Tone Jaxson


Details | Elegy | |

In Honor of Teeds

Multicolored tears
For one gone too soon
And one who’s denied her hand to hold
Halfway through his journey towards manhood 

“Life’s not fair.”
She told him so
Mothers do
When teachers play favorites
Or party invitations never come
Or Christmas budgets aren’t big enough for
Wish lists. 

But this. 

It’s too big
Even for Mother. 

So we weep
And we pray
And in our naked helplessness we come
Together
Giving of ourselves and receiving from others
With a rare and sacred gentleness
We share
And honor the ineffably beautiful spirit
Who breathes love and life in us and through us and among us
Every day 

Today that spirit was purring.

Kathleen Taylor -  b August 27th 1965 - d October 4th 2006


Details | Elegy | |

Beyond Darkness

Although you are gone,
Dearest Blue Eyes,
You are everywhere
In every breath of wind
I hear your mournful sighs
In every ocean wave
The lonely tears you cried
Your sadness
Clings heavy in sea air
Among grains of sand
lies every shattered dream

As anguish rendered your blue eyes
Heavy with slumber eternal
the sea stole you away
Swallowed you up in its depths
To lie in the hollows of desolation
And my heart
Followed you in the waves 
Beyond the darkness

Although you are gone
My dearest Blue Eyes
You are everywhere; in everything.


Details | Elegy | |

Stuck in limbo

I don't want a divorce, 
I don't want our marriage to end.

I would love to be by your side,
and when the whole world is against me have a place to hide.

I desire to see your face every morning when I wake,
it hurts me deep inside that I'm away.

Not by my choice but because you feel It's best,
you don't have the feelings for me that a wife should.

I'm not sure if you think you're doing me a favor by separating like this,
one things for certain that you both are truly missed.

My life is up in the air and when I fall I hope that you'll be there.

I know I'm sometimes rough around the edges but that's who I am,
committed, loyal but sometimes paranoid of how you do things.

Am I to be totally subservient to you if things work out?
Or will we both meet half way instead of scream and shout?

I wonder at this very moment if you feel anything for me, 
I know I love you very much and never wanted to leave.

Stuck in limbo in every aspect of life.
What am I to do, when I still love my beautiful wife?


Details | Elegy | |

Rest In Peace

Many will ask the question why?
Many will weep for you have gone.
Many will try to hide the sorrow in side.
Many will share their thoughts and memories of you.
Many will come to see you one last time.
Trying to decipher why some one such as you must leave so soon.
So in our time of sorrow and grief let us cling to our faith.
For it is our faith in God that will carry us forward.
Also let us find joy in the knowledge that you now rest in haven.


Details | Elegy | |

Elegy

Christmas Eve;
mired in her melancholy,
wrapped in present reveries
that she alone may open,
though there'll be no new surprises,
only loss, and somber songs 
to accompany the pictures of her son;
(forsaken by the light she's not quite 
ready for exposure.)
 
Crows squawk a chorus in a leaden sky
and there's a sprinkling of snow
as mourners cluster black and white
like so many stoic penguins
round the gaping wound of earth.
The box so tragically small reverberates,
sealing the fate of one taken 
too early from the fight. 

Well-wishers scatter to their cars,
start up their cell phones, return 
to Saturdays spent manicuring lawns 
and custom fingernails.

Bereft of a daily blueprint,
her aching loss too new for time 
to render any pleasure, still 
she has her novels and her neighbors,
her crosswords and her cat
and a pain deep in her heart 
for which there is no measure.


Details | Elegy | |

An Angel's Death

A desperate angel,
got no wings to fly;
wounded; hurt;
can’t spread his arms
to soar beyond
the cerulean sky.
With eyes of fear 
and mournful tears;
hearing only silence,
makes him frail-
so pathetic.
As he lay on the ground-
earth in his sight,
embracing the floor;
reaching his limitation,
he’s starting to fade:
becoming paler,
ceasing his casualty.

A very sad song
was played
for the angel’s fate.
Candles were lighted;
a thunderous howl:
a piercing mourns.
Slowly, gently,
he vanished; departed;
kissed the lips-
orifice of death.
Evenly hovered
in the air,
taken away by the
vivid rays;
where a hand reached
behind the light,
with a calm face,
welcomed him again.


Details | Elegy | |

Exile

You try to do the best that you can,
walking on eggshells I could never stand.

Both feeling judged for every action,
love thrown aside by this distraction.

So we're both insecure and afraid to face the music,
time goes by and hits us like a ton of bricks.

I don't think I've changed that much,
your mind in the past is where it's stuck.

Damage beyond repair is all that can be seen,
one of us has to go, exiled, as hard as it may seem.

So one of us puts our foot down. But at what cost?
The intolerance to change so that a marriage is lost.

Arrogance is the sickest way to raise your esteem,
now that all that we could've been is now just a dream.


Details | Elegy | |

Tears For Oklahoma

Living without you, feeling such pain,
yet knowing that life must go on;
I function in limbo, my eyes filled with tears,
my heart filled with sorrow and rage.
Why did this happen? Can't someone say?
Why were you taken from my life today?
Your memory will always be with me,
the love I feel for you won't fade;
I talk to you daily as if you're still here,
My mind knowing, not admitting you're gone.


Details | Elegy | |

Burning souls

Scalding tears,empty promises,the rejoinder of corruption.

Keep away from the fire, fruit tree, bureaucracy don't scratch your pen on the 
paper.

Poison somebody's mind,my village has 800 souls.

The murderer boasts again and the fireman goes to an early grave.

I snuff a candle,knelt down and prayed,

......as the moon is beginning to wax.


Details | Elegy | |

Marie III--Is the Coffin Too Deep

So frigid was her immaculate body Her last second in screams is all I can see Love's revenge was my guilt With you I'd rather let you die with Bound hands Without you, Marie, like the psychopath's dream Death is all that I can see; All that could redeem Did anyone ask Did anyone recall The sweet taste of the poison The swift slash of the knife he penetration of the lead The pain of her decaying heart I can hear it's bellowing cries But why can't you, Marie, Hear my paranoid eulogies Is the coffin too deep? Was it so hard to solve Was it so hard to see That I strangled her so easily My nails piercing her comely skin Blood dripping like the pomegranate I crushed with the shovel I shattered her shins The knife to slight her wrists Didn't you see I did it all The only witness Couldn't say Is the coffin too deep? The pain of her decaying hear tI can hear it's bellowing cries But why can't you, Marie, Hear my paranoid eulogies Is the coffin too deep? Marie I cant stay Earth is to cruel when your coffin is to deep Forever in death and in death alone The pain of her decaying heart I can hear it's bellowing cries But why can't you, Marie, Hear my paranoid eulogies Is the coffin too deep?


Details | Elegy | |

Cousin Isaac

So alive,
So vibrant,you were
Until death embraced you,
Snuffing out your dreams and hopes

It has been two rains
Since your eternal sojourn.
Though I see you as if you were,
In lived memories.

I often ponder where you are.
Can you see us?
Embittered not by your crossing.
For we all have the same course.


Details | Elegy | |

Tribute to Michael Jackson (RIP)

I too have come to a blank wall to tell
In sorrow's thronging pangs my sad farewell.
I too toll my heart with memory's bell
The mortal flesh is a fake citadel ...
                    Brim me with tears so colors now supplied 
                    May be the rainbow shuttered when you died
                    In flesh alone. Heaven's milk is my tears
                    Honeyed for the sting of mercenary years.

It was not easy for the mud was black
A mother's incessant rain, the dry sun
Of a father - a whip saddling the back
And yet a child with gift lifts any ton
                    Of dreams. So stellar of Jackson Five
                    You shot across my teenage sky with Ben
                    As your feet scurrying like a bright hive
                    Spun and twist and slide like a magic pen.

It was not hard for me to believe you
That you would be there, for you were so bad
Nothing could turn you back again. I knew
The artist more than I knew the man ... sad
                     And tormented, with its childhood deferred
                     In the unending coming of manhood;
                     The adult world was a bizarre dream, a blurred
                     Reality that spirit ne'er understood.

Yet I would not envy you mortal pain
Nor bring you back into the fickle lights
To swell your heart with tumults of disdain.
Visionaries here have no rights
                     And the black sorrow is hardest to bare.
                     I only know the world of pop have lost
                     The best, you were the king, a talent rare,
                     But fame comes to some with a brutal cost.

So let the bells toll as flowers fade
Where we pile them, what is real must past,
For only the artificial stays. Wade
Me through the sad throng, my homage cast
                     Upon the stage from where vision took flight
                     Into our hearts, and brimmed us with your gift.
                     I shall count an extra star up there tonight
                     For you Michael, for time has spent your thrift.  
                     


Details | Elegy | |

Dear La-Zette

I looked up to you and turned out just like you
You let everyone take advantage of you, me too

You didn't ask for anything in return 
It went on for years and you still never learned

How could you be so strong?
Trying to fit in where you didn't belong

I loved the way you looked me in the eyes
Telling me you loved me as you began to cry

How could you be proud of me?
I didn't even graduate, I got my GED

Now that I need you, you won't answer the phone
You won't even open the door to come home

My life has been so painful in the last year
I need you more now than ever mother dear

No hugs, no kisses, no late night talks
No more going in town, no more walks

How can you leave your own child behind?
Leaving me in this world to seek and find

You promised you'd always be there
You said this while brushing my hair

In the last year, I got married and it fell apart
He committed adultery, got caught, and broke my heart

I need some advice on what to do
I need you to help pull me through

Again you said you'd never leave, never say goodbye
You broke your promise, but at least I know why

I miss you MOMMY, I miss your touch
God tell her I love her, tell her how much




Details | Elegy | |

Marguerite

You were like a delicate flower so fragile and pure,
But you would never bloom again as you did before.
Maggie my dearest friend,
We'd known each other since the age of ten.
No longer will I see that beautiful serene face ,
And in my heart there's an empty space.

We both married and went our separate ways,
Now I sit back and reflect on those days.
Whenever we met we had so much to say,
That it always took an entire day.

Our lives took a rocky course,
And after several years ended in divorce.
We were like sisters You and I,
I never thought that you would suddenly die.

I know that Mother Mary is standing with arms opened wide,
As she gently ushers you inside.
My devoted friend hear my urgent plea
That when my time comes,
Please keep a place in heaven for me.


Details | Elegy | |

My Secret Shadow

Feels like the world is split into two;             

Everything that's happening is light and dark.

In the day I conceal myself with a mask,

Hoping to be seen among others.

 

To be noticed just to not be alone,

My second face shows no sadness.

A face showing no emotions

Only a smile to show the world.

 

The eye sees that I am ordinary.

But when the sun begins to fade,

I return to where I belong while 

There is little daylight left.

 

Darkness has finally set in,

A moon its only weakness.

My mask begins to fade 

By the dimness of the closing minutes. 

 

A tear drop of sadness,

Anger soon to take control.

I quickly turn on the lamp

To save my dying smile.

 

The stillness of the night triumphs 

Until the dark is awakened by brightness.

Tonight, my only companion will be

My secret shadow.


Details | Elegy | |

Concussion

Forgive me my loved one for I have violated you,
a backlash of reaction I don’t know what to do.

A lashing at what I deserved just the same,
all of what I am in trauma and insane.

Last night in my dreams your anger flashed in my head,
you so enraged with fury, I’m better off dead.

You must realize that your beauty captivates me,
making me crazy, volatile and incoherent to reason.

What it is I do to you and how I make you feel,
it hurts now I know and it sucks cause it’s real.

I understand now that I’ve strayed from respecting you,
a concussion on both our parts, something we have to undo.


Details | Elegy | |

Wishful Thinking

O
Dearest Blue Eyes,
I wish
I could have taken your cup
Drank your sorrows
you would never
have tasted sadness.
O
Dearest Blue Eyes,
I Wish
My heart 
Felt the bullet
And not yours.
O
Dearest Blue Eyes,
I wish
I could have given you 
freedom
A world 
Without pain.
O
Dearest Blue Eyes,
I wish
I could have
Blotted out your bitterness
Given you a smile.
O
Dearest Blue Eyes,
It is far too late 
For wishful thinking.


Details | Elegy | |

Bittersweet

So on this day 6 years ago a child was born,
my precious daughter, who deep inside still mourns.

Although she is young she will always be sad,
knowing the one that is not home is her dad.

There's said to always be a special connection between daughter and father,
but this has been taken away by a mother and when it comes to our marriage, won't even bother.

Will she feel blame in the years to come?
That her mother and fathers marriage has come undone.

I can only hope that she dose not harbor anger at her parents,
mom and dad apart adds to the torment.

For my part I never wanted it to be this way for her,
I'm nothing more that a memory to mother and daughter.

So on this day I remember seeing my child's first breath of air,
now all I can see is a girl that mom and dad must share.

On this day life is bittersweet, cause I am no longer part of home,
another day of celebration with me left all alone.


Details | Elegy | |

Blue Eyes

O,
Dearest Blue Eyes
You've been drinking 
The cup of bitter sadness
Your mind poisoned
Fooling all
With a sweet smile
Misery 
Secretly devouring you
Agony so intoxicating
Vision so distorted
Only one little bullet
Would stop the pain
Now 
Your pain is gone
My Dearest Blue Eyes
But you left shards 
Of one little bullet
Forever trapped
Inside our hearts
O,
Dearest Blue Eyes,
You will be missed.



Details | Elegy | |

Screams in Silence

Games have all been played 
Come out of hiding 
No more chasing after 
Don’t following the leader 

It’s easy to find what’s fun 
Harder to find what’s right 
Caught up in your laughter 
So cleverly projected 
Projected over screams 

Million smiles shine so bright 
But never touched your eyes 

Strip everything away 
If that’s what it takes 
I won’t let you fall 
Won’t let you break 

You think you’re living it up 
But you’re just falling from grace 
Will these games ever end 
Or have I lost my friend 

It’s easy to find what’s fun 
Harder to find what’s right 
Caught up in your laughter 
So cleverly projected 
Projected over screams 

It’s like time is standing still 
Without will, frozen in place 

So sick of feeling helpless 
Dreaming in black and grays 
The clouds are over our head 
Only rubble beneath our feet 

Refection in the mirror telling lies 
You weren’t ever alone 
You were never on your own 

Said all I’ve had to say 
You’re no longer here anyway 
Take a little piece of me with you 
When you wake into eternity 

Now I'm left behind in this world 
The silence is deafening, deafening 



Details | Elegy | |

Tragedy Strikes In New York

Something tragic happened in New York today
Many lives were lost
This unexpected act of terrorism
Came with a very high cost
Many hearts are now filled
With anger, pain and sorrow
So many of us wondering
Will this happen again tomorrow?
Fear and uncertainty consuming us all
We do not understand why the towers had to fall
As we all watched in horror
The Trade Centers crumbled to the ground
We looked to our faith and kept clinging to hope
That many survivors would somehow be found
The hour of this tragic day will be
Forever remembered through history
The question of "Why" will always linger
The reason will remain a mystery
Who would want to commit such a cruel and intentional act?
In our search for those responsible
America shall stand united, that's a fact
Though we are temporarily weakened
By the devastation with sorrow and grief
Someday justice will prevail and bring us a sense of relief
To our many dear friends and loved ones
We will miss your gentle heart and smiling face
But we shall find comfort in knowing
You've gone to a better place
Our minds still question why
So many precious lives were taken from us
Please know that in our hearts, cherished memories
Will keep you forever near

In memory of all those who lost their lives to the tragic, terrorist act on September 11, 2001


Copyright © 2001   Shari E Davis


Details | Elegy | |

In Loving Memory of Taleah

It’s hard to believe that you’re actually gone
Seems just a while ago we all went out to eat
We all had fun and were surrounded by family
Everyone smiling and laughing and enjoying life
But who knew that a while later you would be gone
No one really expected this or knew when you would depart from this life
We all should be rejoicing instead of mourning knowing that Taleah is at ease
The bible says “I am not alone, because the Father is with me”.
So we all can rest assure that she is doing a whole lot better
While Taleah was here on earth her spirit seemed so high
She didn’t complain, at least I didn’t see it
And she maintained her faith although things were being thrown at her from left 
and right
Even when in pain she fought it out like a child of God
Never letting the Devil wear her down
All he wanted to do was stress her out and make her feel worse
But we can all laugh in his face because we know that he lost the battle and God 
won
She leaves behind two beautiful daughters, but they are in good hands
God will continue to watch over them every night just as he did before
We miss her and love her very much
And believe that God has so much in store for her
REST IN PEACE TALEAH AUSTIN!!!


Details | Elegy | |

Vacant Heart, Vacant Mind

Vacant heart, vacant mind, what have I done?
I wander these days with my soul on the run.

Although my mind is full I feel empty,
a whilrwind laden with confusion and memory's debris.

My heart aches to feel the love I once had,
Do I really wish to carry on feeling sad?

Hold me as you once did in our moments of solitude,
forget about the scars on your heart that are forever tattooed.

For they will heal if you let your pain and anger go,
if you accept my love to you on whom I bestow.

All these long days undecided,
don't let the influence of others lead you to be misguided.

Vacant heart, vacant mind, I never wanted to be apart from you,
lonliness, anger, fear, regret, together must be subdued.



Details | Elegy | |

One Fine Day

Today is my wifes birthday,
I should feel joy for her, but I feel betrayed.

Cause I cannot celebrate another year of life for her that has come and gone,
instead I will be by myself, more reason for suffering to spawn.

I cannot hold her and tell her that I love her,
I cannot give her gifts to make her feel important.
Instead I wait for phone calls dealing with bills and raves and rants.

It's supposed to be a joyous occasion, 
but I feel like I'm mourning the dead, my mind and heart feeling under invasion.

Wondering if I will be a tribute to such events,
this is one fine day indeed, but for me is torment.


Details | Elegy | |

Blink of an eye

Over a month and no change of heart,
Is she even trying? Or had no control from the start.

Maybe controlled by others to keep the peace,
mind, heart and will up for release.

Influenced, yet assumed to be in control,
How long before self damage is done, that you see the toll?

Why did you choose this life for the both of us?
To boost your pride and think your tough?

I feel that you have no regret,
your apologies are easy to forget.

If you ever loved me then why do this?
Have I not proved to you that my love for you exists?

Wondering if it bothers you that after all we've been through that I've retired,
it dose not mean that I've lost my desire.

Mentally and physically draining it is to try and salvage our vows,
I've broken mine and you've broken yours, morally not allowed.

So we both screwed up, but only one of us is willing to fix it,
in the blink of an eye, I'll be ready, waiting to commit.



Details | Elegy | |

UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

The pain was so real for my brother Nate. We did not see the signs of the way he 
was feeling. If he cried out for help and let us know. My dear bother would still be 
hear and with the proper medicine he would begin to heal. What was you 
thinking  of that October day. When you took your own life that  ended so suddenly 
that way. Did you feel you were not loved and for that split second ended your life 
instead of calling for help before you plunged in the water. What was on your 
mind when you put your hands up with despair. And down in the water went the 
car on that October day. Did you cry out did you try and pray. Did you find the pain 
on this earth too much to cope. Dearest brother you are very missed it is sad but 
true. Have I not told you more often that I do love you. I feel a loss without you 
hear. I wish you were not gone I wish you were near. I can't stand the pain it is too 
hard to bear Too For I look to this day that I wish I can change. That I made more 
time with you my brother now it too late because you are in heaven with the 
angels on high  I will always love you my dear brother Nate you will always hold a 
special place in my heart until we meet again in heaven the most beautiful place 
where we will have no more tears and pain. Dearest brother until we meet again 
I will love you always until the day when I die I will join you then only then we will 
not depart.






Details | Elegy | |

Sea of Despair

I'm a ship lost at sea, I have no way to navigate,
no compass to give me direction,
a cloudy sky at night and no stars to guide me.

For I am in the doldrums of a relationship,
recirculated in endless circles never to find my way.

When will the sky clear?
When will the seas calm?
When will the stars shine?

For I'm at the mercy of the sea who is my wife,
and told by others are sea stories of peril and woe,
for who knows where the sea will send you when you think you have control.

Pushing on with my sails ripped,
rudder broken and current driven.

I am the captain on the ship of my life,
lost in the sea of despair and don't know where to go.


Details | Elegy | |

Connie's Poem

Brilliant words made of love, 
decay in a blur of rage 
and in-perfection.

A family is broken 
as the trigger is pulled 
and the unmindful bullets fly.

Compassion and lies have met.
Righteousness and discord have kissed.

As she fades in deaths handcuffs 
love slips away.



Details | Elegy | |

Connie's Poem Part Two

The gunshots echoes the end,
her chest trembles,
its her last breath.
She is covered in blood,
its splattered everywhere,
it seems too much.

I ignore it and hold her still warm hand,
as her eyes stared up to heaven,
I'm wondering what she seen,
maybe I'll catch a glimpse
of an Angel taking her away.

C.P.R. fails,
the pulse is gone.
I slowly stand
only to face the murderer.
In his eyes the anger and distress
have united in a paralysis
of fear and shock.

He is mumbling,
making no sense,
the gun is held
tightly against his head.

Once he was called
Husband and Father,
now he is something 
that is not man.

With disgust and fear,
I take Connie's gun
from his shaking hands.
as he is  waiting
for the comfort
of the cold steel
handcuffs.

Marrage vows
were broken and silenced
in a few moments
of domestic violence.

To the man who is not a man,
its life without parole
behind brick walls till the end.



Details | Elegy | |

Elergy At Sundown

A crstal god burnt out his light
Blazing at both end of the world,

A triumphant dullness painted
On the western cloud a circle of blood

And night posed in ambush
To wrap the widowed day in black

And we could not ward him off
To save orphans from bad dreams

And we could not even enlighten the sky 
For a moon dance with fingers dripping 
With blood of a star.

O the mystic cock is consumed in this fete,
Of glow worms parading themselves
As real stars.

Their amphibious bird,
Unfertilised for democracy,
Laid us this barren-egg dawn.


Details | Elegy | |

Bombay Missiles

From the eyes of Shangri-la and words indited in bulletin
spoken by  bellwethers and imagery on broadcasts
Felt the passing of breaths and federation menace.

The scourge abided by cause of hooliganism
By a group of libertine, 
Held, ye plot to an affright baker’s dozen bams.
He who fended collared gravely, and he who
Fathered, headed for the hills. 
Passing of breaths and the devour city
Bellowing mother’s cry and bemused father
The helpless baby yet addled with a smile.
The speechless contrarian and the stock market blues
Mongers fall back and the bollywood whodunit. 
Queried world and hastening federations 
The eventual address to make for red alert. 

Staked City and yet another lionize attack
To their day of remembrance on the cause of vandalism
Dawdled to a tetrad later 
Abided by the juvenility of their community
Held, ye plot to an heptad bams.
Office hour rushed shush dead to the world
Aghast citizenry and deplorable family
Her plighting husband to return and son’s oft exacts
Left apart for an unknown time.

Ruled by terrorism, shame upon faith
Around-the-clock yet another hark back
Abided by the army of pure
Held, ye plot to tenner explosions.
Challenges taken were overwhelm 
An arrest bore witness
Yet, 
From the eyes of Shangri-la and words indited in bulletin
spoken by  bellwethers and imagery on broadcasts
Felt the passing of breaths and federation menace.


Details | Elegy | |

Lovesick

What is love?
Is it a gift from the almighty up above?

Some say it's an emotion,
a understanding of true devotion.

It cannot be bought or sought with such haste,
doing so would be such a waste.

Loosing it can feel like death,
an unexplainable loss,  you loose your breath.

If love is a miserable lie, then we're all in perdition,
how can something such as love be abused with intuition?

Love is supposed to be unconditional,
but being creatures of habit is part of the ritual.

There will always be a skewed view of what love should be,
is something like this meant for me?


Details | Elegy | |

Last Things She Said

Sleeping soundly,
In her bed.
Thinking about,
The last things she said.

She said she hated him,
She said she didn’t care.
She said when she was with him,
Life just wasn’t fair.

She said he had hit her,
And he had put her through hell.
She said that he had made her feel like,
She had completely failed.

She said she’s glad it’s over,
And she’s happy they are through.
But now she is out looking,
For someone new.

Someone that will love her,
Someone that will care.
Someone that with whom life’s fair,
And someone who will always be there.

Sleeping soundly,
In her bed.
Thinking about,
The last things she said…


Details | Elegy | |

The Trip

  Needle in hand she plunges it in,
  as the blood flows the trip begins.
  It will take her to new heights
  she cannot travel alone,
  a one way ticket to the danger zone.

  She feels it coursing through her veins,
  oh the emotions this power inflames.
  Reaching out she touches death's hand,
  only to yank it back again.
  Like she has done so many times before,
  playing games at death's door.

  Only this trip will not end like that,
  death will finally grab her back.
  Pulling her into his cold embrace,
  fearing the darkness she must now face.
  Knowing that she can never go back...
  that this trip will be her last.


Details | Elegy | |

Daddy, I Miss You

Daddy, I miss you,
Where did you go?
I have some questions to ask you,
But I guess I'll never know.

I won't ask mommy,
because speaking of you brings her tears.
Even though you've been gone,
for almost thirteen years.

I wondered why you hung yourself,
Why did you let go?
But because you're so far away,
those answers I'll never know.

I wish that I could bring you back,
and be with you once more.
I would love you more than anyone else,
Of that, I am sure.

Daddy, I hope you're listening,
as I am talking to you today.
Just remember I'll always miss you,
and wish you wouldn't have went away.


Details | Elegy | |

Goodbye Daddy

The hours spent waiting
are over, the hardest
part still yet to come.
Calls are made,
tears flow freely as they
come to take him away.
Your knees go weak,
you feel arms catch you
as you hear your baby sister's
voice saying the words
you can't bring yourself
to say:
Goodbye Daddy.


Details | Elegy | |

Discord

To dissolve any spread of rumor all must know,
so I share my poetry with those I bestow.

Not knowing that something done in good faith,
would be reacted upon with such haste.

Concern and confusion clouds some peoples minds,
then told to the one I love, to which I receive fury that can't be defined.

Thank you very much my friends for causing such discord,
the love of my life now upset at me, due to standards you failed to ignore.

Much talk and anguish must be endured to repair this mess,
as if in my life I needed any more stress.

Obligations from those high up seem to appear out of no where,
when their lives are at stake, concern and corruption seem to be declared.

I can't share anything with anybody without fear of reprisal,
refusing to live my life in denial.


Details | Elegy | |

I try

I try to pretend everything is all right
I try to pretend everything is going all swell
I try to forget all my past memories and thoughts
i try to act happy so my friends don't worry
i try to......
but I'm sick of trying to 
just so people don't worry 
sometimes i'll go home 
and be sitting all alone
and i'll try to cry all my worries and tears away 
but there never all gone
I try to.......


Details | Elegy | |

Words of Loss

It aches my heart,
My mind,
My soul.
Thoughts of him,
I cried

I loved him so
But why,
Just why was it time to go?
We were so close from what is remembered
As a small child,
A toddler,
A baby.

The big tree in his yard
My siblings and I would climb
While he watched
In the shade of a neatly pruned Plumb Tree

His death came so sudden,
But did it really?
Was my mind playing tricks, 
Or was it reality?

Eight years old,
Wearing black and green
To His funeral.
I did not understand death,
Yet I cried . . . 
Cried for day,
Weeks,
Months!
I felt empty without him.

That day I figured death
That it was painful.
A loss of a person who was close.
Someone you love.


Details | Elegy | |

Impasse

How long will I be waiting?

For I long to be by the side of my soul mate,
I refuse to believe that everything we had is gone.

When you look at my face I'm anything but withdrawn,
and when I leave so much uncertainty regards our fate.

Where will this road take us?

It seems like we're at a impasse,
like I'm getting to close and you're holding back.

I said I love you the last time I saw you,
you returned the reply in same but cut yourself short.

Beautiful music to my ears even if it was long overdue.

Something out of habit?
Or did you really mean it?

I wait for the day to hear those words everyday,
convinced that you're heart has not decayed.


Details | Elegy | |

Homeless

So this is how it's to be for an unknown length of time,
I can't be myself around others and speak my mind,

It's ended my marriage and cost me my friends,
I suppose this is how it will be till my life ends.

With no place to go, with no place to call home,
I will live within four walls to dwell alone.

Weather it's in a cardboard box or in a room shared with others,
I'm still alone, friendless and my heart will smother.

If I'm on the other side of the world I have no one to come back to here,
homeless I wander, I cannot share my life with those I hold dear.

I feel like I'm the living dead,
my family taken from me, my sanity hanging by a thread.

It seems like I can't do anything right,
no purpose to live, no will to fight.


Details | Elegy | |

DEAD IN A JIFFY

Under cover lay they
And in the blink of a jiffy
Fled death from lethal nozzles
And within that jiffy
Like stones
Lay all that lived lifeless.


Details | Elegy | |

Death of Anna

There's a war going on, but Anna is dead
There's work to be done, gossip to spread
Soldiers have been dying everyday now
But we must get the autopsy, must somehow
I heard of a man blown up in a car
But Stern is the dad from what we know so far
There is something sad in all of this
There are priorities we've seemed to miss
Since when did a bunny take top story
While our men in arms take second glory
I'm fairly certain that we'll go to Hell
Take our souls to the devil and try to sell
But poor, poor Anna, been gone nearly two days
Leaving the reporters in a mad, dash craze
To saturate media with speculation and talk
While her family must hide or be stalked
The world holds it's breath while her body is checked
Only to tell us what we knew, she was a train wreck
There is something sad in all of this
There are priorities we've seemed to miss
Since when did a junkie take top story
While our men in arms take second glory
I'm fairly certain that we'll go to Hell
Take our souls to the devil and try to sell


Details | Elegy | |

Her Eyes sparkled

Her eyes were wide
With joy and love
Nothing filled the heart
Like a little love

Her eyes sparkled
With every breath
Her telling tale
Of the Baby within

Her eyes dimmed
When things turned in
From spots and dots
She didn't think a thing

Her eyes were prickled
As she sprinkled a life
So small on the floor
near the toilet so small

Her eyes flooded holding
Him so near
Her heart ached as she
Saw his last breath disappear.


Details | Elegy | |

In Your Arms

In your arms I held so tight
to feel the warmth of your skin
you made me feel so bright and alive
I yearned for the next day you held me again
there was so much happiness when I saw your face
when I held your hand I never wanted to let go
you gave me so much joy there was nothing to lose
everyday was something special to me and so much more
when that last day came for me god was waiting by my side
he told me that the time had came and I couldn't stay
the life he had helped you make for me is something that was great
he assured me I'd be an angel to look over you and protect you
when I got to heaven I watched the pain you had when I left
I didn't understand because you had something so precious to remember
but when you look at my pictures and hold my blanket tight 
I see that I gave you more than just a memory but a piece of something in your 
heart
but never would I have been there so long if you weren't there for me
as time goes by don't think of the pain of losing me


Details | Elegy | |

Lost Angel

My lost little angel
That never had a chance,
To hop, skip, or jump,
And make my life a mess.

My lost little angel,
I’ll never get to hold,
She was gone in a flash
Before anyone could know.

With hair so curly and black,
And skin so soft and smooth,
My heart will always ache,
For my little angel that never could.

All alone in my house
With nowhere to run,
The heartache and pain
Overwhelm me again.

With heart-wrenching sobs
And great cries of “Why?”
I mourn the great loss
Of my angel that died.

Surrounded by my grief
And the home she’ll never have,
I can’t help but wonder
Why God changed his mind.

My lost little angel,
Still, so precious to me,
My little Elaina Diane,
You’ll forever be.


Details | Elegy | |

What were you thinking of that day?

Written by Ann Wilson on

October 31 2006

What were you thinking of on that October day? When you went over the line and 
plunged into the creek. What was on your mind when you held up your hands?
Did you not care and want to give up? Or was your pain so real to you and 
suddenly the thoughts came to your mind and were you  feeling like you didn't 
care ?Were you hurting so much with only despair?Did you think you would not 
be missed? Or did you say I will take my own life because nobody cares? Did 
you know what you were doing or did your mind just snap? If you would of shared 
with us that you wanted to end your own life. Or was your mind doing tricks in 
your head? Or did you just give up and  want to be dead? My dearest brother we 
are all sad that you have departed with us this way. Did you not try and pray or did 
you not think your pain and suffering was to much to bear. We all miss you so 
dearly we wish you was here. I want you to know what is plain and clear that your 
loved ones are sad that you went and left us on that October day. As we had to 
say goodbye on the 7th of October for saying good bye is hard. You are still in our 
thoughts from time to time. And still in our minds with the same  thoughts over 
and over time and time again Why did you have to leave us why did you go 
away? What were you thinking of that day?


Details | Elegy | |

Premonition

I anxiously await the latest words or thoughts from your lips,
trying not to let my mind and heart eclipse.

For if they do all reason will be thrown aside,
and you will find it harder to confide.

Seems that all aspects of my life are in purgatory,
like somebody else was writing my story.

The sound of your voice the touch of your hand the beat of your heart,
all of this and more is miss as we're apart.

Disdain for myself fills my mind every morning when I wake,
cursed to always feel regret from my mistakes.

The premonition of our lives together is obscure,
and although I am far from perfect my love for you has always been pure.




Details | Elegy | |

He Is Dead

HE is dead
In some far off place
he died
I knew him for only a few seconds
yet I cry
He is dead
He had a house
He had a fiancee
He is dead
Stopped by a single bullet
He was here now
He is gone
I have no right to mourn
I barely knew him
A passing aquaintance
He died so far away
My brother called him Brother
He died so far away
Away from all he loved
He is dead 
And I did not know him


Details | Elegy | |

Little Boy Blue (don't fall asleep)

Little boy blue don't be so sad
You're my joy it can't be that bad?

Come put your horn down and sit with me,
Your smile is soothing and will comfort me

Then we'll look into each other's eyes and treasure
our moments time will not always provide

Little boy blue you're my treasure I've long been waiting for
Soon you'll not be here and my memory will be all that I will hold onto

Let us rest together for I know you're frail,
I need God the Holy Spirit, "the Great Comforter"
to come right now.  Take my pain Lord and stand with me,
to help hold me up when all I feel is despair.  Give me the 
strength to help carry on for when my little boy blue is gone

Little boy blue, I'll love you forever you see
I can only close my eyes and it's you and me
together in peace

You are so precious and such a sweet gift
too special for this world, it's straight to Heaven
where you'll exist

I know you must be perfect in God's holy eyes
to take one so young who never touched his life
You're going to paradise where you'll wait for me

Until then when I am all alone I'll go outside and in my search for some
serenity I'll close my eyes and ask God to help me believe that you will
be the special star in the sky that I will see


Details | Elegy | |

A Dying Whisper

A ruddy tide strained
silting a dying whisper
salty knotted hair swirled
tainting the sweetness of november 

A dark elegy, a classic
of true love betrayed 
selfless love perpetrated
an agonizing malaise

Consumed by grief
lost to the lovemaking of june
ebullient eyes now stoic
fixed by the calling of the moon

Holy vows broken 
scattered upon the ebb and flow of the sea
whose lies silenced autumn's resurrection
the listless Lorelei 


Details | Elegy | |

Death

People live everyday,
not knowning they are dying.
Days and years go by,
Then they are lying.

People steal and kill,
They lie and abuse.
They're not aware 
Of all the time they use.

Live everyday 
As it was your last.
Cause you cant turn back time,
It's in your past.


Details | Elegy | |

The Cycle:Part 1

Let me introduce you to a young man named Johnny.
He truly loved his brother Tommy.
As youths the two were inseparable.
But living in the projects, three years ago they faced the inevitable.
Sixteen years old playing ball at the park.
Neither one was expecting the car creeping through the dark.
The vehicle stopped about 20 yards away.
Immediately the bullets began to spray.
Scared for his life little Johnny began to flee.
And Tommy’s last steps were something he never got to see.
As the car sped off he heard an awful yell.
Before he could turn he wished he had been shot himself.
The vision he saw was a nightmare.
But it was far too real because Tommy died right there.
At the service he said a silent prayer.
Now 19 he lives without a care.
Left to face the world without his brother,
He makes sure his pain is felt by others.
As he recalls the blood pouring out of his mouth.
And the sound of Tommy’s last breaths gurgling out,
He feels the rage burning inside.
There isn’t anyone who can keep him in line.
Now he is the one causing the blood shed.
And he won’t stop until the man responsible was dead.
However, he is now the one being hunted.
Because another young “G” made the same prayer he once did.
Before the assailant finally pulls the trigger,
He lets a tear fall as he begins to whisper;
“Remember that kid you shot four times?
That was my brother man, now it’s your time.
I promised to see you die quick.”
Finally Johnny and Tommy are reunited.
Whether it be for revenge or just a street title,
Young men are continuing The Cycle.


Details | Elegy | |

Rejected

We pass each other almost every day,
it's not in a hallway, a room or at home.

On our way to work, on different sides of the road we are,
I'm going south, you're going north and vice versa.

Yet we cannot utter a single word or care to acknlowlege each other,
Ignoring our hearts hunger for true love and understanding.

There are so many things I wish to tell you because I love you,
and I wish that you would understand.

Consumed in our own misery and remain incoherent to empathy,
I guess we will remain empty.

Filled with self created drama, express only rejection,
towards those who love us the most.

Is there any resolve?


Details | Elegy | |

Farewell

I cry out to you; I cannot breathe/
You do not hear, and I die slowly/
You do not care, you are concerned with
YOU.
You do not feel, but you will die with me.

I choke on your fumes and swim in your muck/
My throat begs out of thirst and my loins quake
As the sun beats upon my face and back/
But no aid will I receive from you.

Have I not given you all that I could have given;
Have I not allowed you to live and prosper?!
And you repay me with this, of all ways,
Raping, plundering, and ravaging ME?!

If only you could feel the pain that invests my spirit/
But no, you can no longer feel,
You can only inflict more and more pain
Until you yourself pass away.

I have given you all that I have,
And have nothing left to give because
You no longer need me, you have been ensnared
By $$$, and greed.
Now bid farewell to your once-dear MOTHER EARTH.


Details | Elegy | |

Empty Arms

It wasn't very long ago It seems my heart does say.
I felt another's beating on my breast  thoughout the day.

I'm lonely for its friendship and its
longing and its need.
I am missing all the warmth it gave 
its desires so to please.

Arms oh empty arms, 
what are you holding now?
They are as they would have no child.
I am still... and wondering how. 

You see they carry sadness 
For nothing can replace,
the beating heart of a pure child; 
head and shoulder of pure grace.

It wasn't very long ago it seems my heart does say 
I felt another 's beating on my breast throughout the day.

Oh empty arms longing to be filled;
the memories cause tear. You are missed.
Happiness has been stolen, and there is no place for bliss.

With memories of the past thats gone and me the heart demands,
You reclaim what has been taken, and fill your empty hands

Oh its gone I know! I know!  I cry!
Oh! How deep the sadness be, I wish it me that died.
So difficult the sore, the void, Oh one desires to sleep,
and wake up just to feel the heart, the loss that made me weep.  

C. SwAk & L


Details | Elegy | |

How do you say goodbye?

How do you say good-bye
to someone who is not yet gone?
How do you hide the tears and sadness
to help them stay strong?

I do not know, I could not say.
I never expected this situation,
for it to happen this way.
I am sad, I do cry, so tell me
how do I say good-bye?

My friend a new world awaits
no hard ships, no pain.
Where the sky's are always sunny
no more dark clouds or rain.

Smiles, and laughter, angel's will be everywhere.
Maybe a few you know
will be waiting to see you there.

Will you do me a favor
as you roam the golden streets?
Can you find my grandpa, 
and give him a hug for me?

I love you my friend truly
from my heart and soul.
I'll keep your memory with me
everywhere I go.

I'll drink a toast to you
everytime I fill my cup.
I'll wish on your star
I'm sure you will bring me good luck.

I will not tell you good-bye
just that I will see you soon.
Who knows I may be next,
so save this friend a litle room.


Details | Elegy | |

Ocean cries!

Oh wailing oceans on melancholy days 
Your wisps of salt that fill the air
 Above your clouds that set ablaze 
Of purple passion and looming haze
Where seagulls take flight on gallant 
breezes                                                                                  
How taunting memories tear lonely eyes 
Whose tide rhythms move with wonder
With heavy soles that grip from under
 Oh sadness sits with she, and blunder 
Should lifeless thoughts come to heart?  
When oceans calling for her to part 


Details | Elegy | |

Bones Beneath Ash

Blown by kisses from a brisk bitter wind
Light shimmer falling, gathering of sin

Chosen few, but many bow low
Before ever knowing how to bestow

Living inside a dream kept hidden
Loose leaf notes, words went unwritten

Candle lit hallways, grim and so cold
Shivering the skin, unmasking my bones

Ever present, smoke fills the dry air
Clandestine skies, now everywhere

Passing through me like brown brittle wood
Bursting these seams, with bombing allure

The ash begins to burrow, finding it's way to light
Ending of sorrows, ending it's plight

Long gone yesterdays
Newly made 'morrows

Bones beneath ash
The dirt always follows.


Details | Elegy | |

Do you really care?

Do you really care that I am hurting?
Emotions that you try to hide by averting.

I wish I could believe that you care,
if I say anything regarding us, you take it as a dare.

Taking your verbal bashings as if they were serene,
something I unintentionally did to you, acting mean.

We used to ask each other with humor "who's a thug"?
acting it out as if we were taking drugs.

I never understood until it was too late,
the clairvoyant damage I was causing, spawning such hate.

Guess you can't love me like a wife should, 
standing alone feeling misunderstood.

I'm sure you feel as I do to some degree,
scared to communicate your feelings, living like a banshee.

Love and understanding is all I ever thought I gave you,
endured yet challenged by a different point of view.





Details | Elegy | |

My Cat

Our Joe's died
20 Years I had our Joe
And then she died
My baby got sick
My baby was in pain
It's just a cat
But I pleaded with god
Make her well again
She wanted my bed
I'd sleep on the floor
She could have asked for the world
I'd have given her more
She lived my life
All the years with me 
And even in pain she stayed by my side
Then she asked me
By the look in her eyes
I'm tired I hurt
Please let me go
And it's just a cat
And I had to let her go
But my hearts broken
So dont try to tell me
That it's just a cat
Cos it was my cat 
My cat and I know


Details | Elegy | |

Good Night, Until We Meet Again

Farewell, until we meet again
I don't understand why God had to take you so young
Death, pain, and sorrow are hard things
For a young person to deal with in life
I always told you Good Night; we 
saw each other the next day
On that night I thought that 
You were just resting
But then I realized it would be
A rest for all eternity
My heart is broken into pieces as 
I try to hold my tears back
The only person that
I could call my brother
Is now gone, not suffering
And to never be forgotten
Today, I can't think but to 
wonder why God had to take you away
Friends and family pay their
Respects and say their last words
You're in God's hands now,
He'll take care of you
I give you a kiss and whisper
"Good Night! Rest in Peace Until We Meet Again" 


Details | Elegy | |

It Feels So Right

I slit my wrists
And close my eyes
And think about
His stupid lies

Slip away
Into the light
Nothings ever
Felt this right


Details | Elegy | |

A Cry For Help

Hello?
Can you see me?
I'm here on the floor
Covered in blood and dirt
Heartbreak and hurt
Can't you see me?
Can't you see me?

Can you hear me?
I call out your name
Between outburst of pain
Can't you hear me?
Can't you hear me?

Can you feel me?
I've held onto your hand 
Mine filled with tears that have land
Can't you feel me?
Oh why can't you feel me?

Stop! Stop! Please don't leave
I reach out and grab onto your sleeve
You cannot will not leave me here to die
I try to stand but OH, to high

I'm falling! Help me, help me, please!
Violently I crash upon my knees
Softly I begin to cry
And slowly, slowly, slowly, I die

You could not see
You could not hear
You could not feel
You could not care


Details | Elegy | |

where is my long ago Friend








Sitting on the Grass up Strawberry hill
Writing a sad poem about my Son's early departure
He was bound on the 9:00 train to "st.Will you Believe011,NoCity,Heaven
30 was his last year's age as A Green Monster with Cancerous Claws
sought to consume him with smoldering smoke that permanently takes
a unique life away from the embattled Foe of our Life:
Smoking
Cigars
Drinking
wine with sleeping pills
It made him ever weary of the future that was stretched out for him to lay upon
God and Jesus carried him away from us too soon
While the words are carefully chosen to put into verse
Some cloud,up there,that quite resembles a 6ft 4 inch gentle stature
A grin that could pull in a 1000 young friends(Male&Female)to his side
Many days and night pass with a twinkle as my lonesome head lies upon
a soft silk-knitted pillow that he had made for me as a treasured token
It has been a tiring six years after his sudden exit and the loss is clearly shown
and felt upon this aging face of defeated expressionism
I want him back,my Lord of the Sky
Is that too much to ask?


Details | Elegy | |

Losing a Loved One

Never lost a loved one before 
They tell you to move on
When they don't even know your pain
Emptiness is what I have inside
Why must this happen to me
I can't live like this
But I chose not to give up 

Without my loved one
Without my soul mate
The nights are lonely
But I will be ok
I must be strong
In time my pain will fade
But now I must deal with it
Can't say goodbye so fast
Must take it slow
Our love for each other will always remain






      
    
  
 
   

 
 


Details | Elegy | |

Last Thought

The asphalt against my face
Sirens in the background
My fresh warm blood censuring my eyes
Over whelming feelings of regret and remorse rush through my mind
What am I to do in the last moments of my life?

To lay here and cry or to quietly die
Or to scream for help or to fade in the night
Wish for a new start or to pray for what I had.
What about my mom and my dad?

How are they going to take it without me by there side
I didn't get to say good bye or tell them how much I loved them both.
They should now that I will always be there with them.
I don’t want them to be sad, they should be mad, I made the selfish choice.

Having them by my side would make this better
To have my dad tell me “Its okay son we all make mistakes”
Or my mom to say “I can relate to how you are feeling, and that it will be okay”

But it won’t, because I’m feeling my hopes and my dreams all slipping away
Like a leaf falling off a tree on a windy autumn day.


Details | Elegy | |

Now Broken

Once a trusting soul
Now broken
Betrayal just the start
Lies to follow

Once an open heart
Now Broken
Lost is her innocence
Taken without consent

Her spirit was carefree
Now Broken
Life dragged her through
With no remorse


Details | Elegy | |

The Comforter

Mother Earth sits and cries
Crying for what,I can tell.
Weeps for the present wars going on
Weeps for the dying children 
Which she cannot save.
Oh Mother Earth,clean your tears
For I am here to comfort you.


Details | Elegy | |

Deluded

I asked my daughter if she's happy that I'm gone,
her reply was "I'm sad daddy", her face, a picture not to be drawn.

How do I reply to something like that?
Torn between the one I love and my self created combat.

Are you really at peace without me?
like I can't even talk to you, feeling the third degree.

I don't have it together so please don't assume,
waking up every morning feeling impending doom.

Reaching a critical point in my life where I wanted to end it all,
I cried for help, the reaction from the one I love, I can always recall.

The whole thing thought to get attention,
adding to my frightening tension.

A deluded idea spawned,
the failure of commitment dawned.

Surrounded by drug addicts, alcoholics and the major depressed,
after seeing such things, I realized that I am blessed.

Would you be happier if suicide was my answer?
Or are you satisfied I'm alive with my soul suffering cancer?

A anguish that I truly feel can be cured,
from the love you once had for me, a love that seemed to endure.


Details | Elegy | |

Forlorn

Among friends with whom I stay,
I notice their happiness, I wish I could relate.

Laying immobilized here all alone,
knowing that I should be at home.

Wishing that I was being taken care of by my wife,
instead of burdening my friends and their life.

The best thing about being sedated is that you don't dream,
seems like you awake as soon as you go to sleep.

Can I have that sleep for the rest of my days?

No more bad dreams or waking up with my mind in a haze,
remembering only the past, no future, no grace.





Details | Elegy | |

The Pain of Your Death

I sit alone
In the darkest corners of my room
Behind my eyes i silently cry
As i watch my world crumble to the floor
I no longer sleep softly in my bed
I can't breathe the steady rhythm i once did
My heart doesn't beat normally like before
I can hear it pounding inside my chest  
louder and louder it beats
My emotions become possessed
By the pain that wraps its bitter arms around me
As I feel dozens of tears pour down my face
I know my life will never be the same...
Without you


Details | Elegy | |

my love for him

I lay in his arms
sleep but aware of his presence
I dream of blue oceans
I dream of blue seas
each warm kiss I feel from him
the water becomes wetter in my dreams
I dream of  a shipwreck
we're deserted out at sea
so I sing of my love for him in the sweetest melody
and I sing of my love for him hoping he'll swim along
I sing of my love for him as he slowly becomes the sea
the love I sing for him carries on through decades eternally
now I sing to collect souls
I cursed the sea to stir the waters and wreck the sailors boats
I sing of my love for him in the sweetest melody
to lure in and claim the lives as sacrifices 
for my love I lost at sea


Details | Elegy | |

The Most Needed Christmas Gift

Dedicated to Papa

This Christmas morning has dawned
I stir and stare up at the ceiling
Then it hits me, this emotion of dread
This feeling I didn't know I could be feeling.
The day I dreaded has now arrived
And others cry out in joy
But there's one lonely girl standing off to the side
Lost in a world where happiness can't deploy.
I open my presents with my family
And admire them, one by one
But something is missing, it's so obvious
That the most needed present is gone.
I glance around, unsure if I am right
And Mom stares curiously
I stand and make up some excuse
So they won't see tears fall down my cheek.
Silently crying in my room,
I vow to be happy
But even the willpower I have
Is not enough, instead, it's sapping
My life has become a deep, dark hole
That I knew would be here
I knew this moment would come
When there would fall many tears.
I got everything I wanted
And all the things on my list
Each item was crafted perfectly
Each card sealed with a kiss.
But there was one thing missing 
As I stood, longing for some kind of touch
From the person I lost in my life
The thing I needed most was love.
But now he's gone so suddenly
But that was two years ago
Why can't I get over this death? 
Why can't I ever let go?
Why does this only affect me at Christmastime?
Why not any other part of the year?
Is there some reason for this sadness?
For this agony and tears?
Others long to reach out and help me
I can see it in their eyes
But I dart away from all help
And explain it away with lies.
I wish there were some person 
Who I could spill all of this to
But now I know I never can
Because that one person is you.
I got everything I asked for
The gifts perfect like a dove
But I got nothing that I needed
What I needed most was love.






Details | Elegy | |

Paralyzed

No other way to communicate with the one I love,
she dose not want to hear it, something she is sick of.

The sound of my voice, the words that I type,
Do they make any difference in the status of our strife?

I know some times were rough and I wish I had control,
not just of our lives but the direction of my soul.

Is living in fear of what you might become worth all that strength?
Something I'm trying to convince you otherwise at great lengths.

Caring for someone is much different than love,
being cared for, in the back of your mind I can be shoved.

Don't think that you're the only one who feels as if they've wasted their time,
we both tried to change each other for what we thought was for the better even if it was
sublime.

Having high hopes for us before I left, I guess I was only fooling myself,
now that proof of us existing together is taken off the walls and shelves.

I can't say I'm sorry enough for what I've done,
thinking in my sad state that all answers are at the end of a gun.

Responsible for destroying a family and a soul mate,
I can only expect to be received with such hate.

Hate not for what I've done but for what I am trying to accomplish,
trying to earn and keep the love you once had for me with a promise.

This is how life is for now being paralyzed,
no joy, no future, only demise.


Details | Elegy | |

Mom

She's the Pit Bull,
The Cat That Came Back,
and Humpty Dumpty,
all rolled up into one.

For the many mistakes she has made,
she paid for it a million times over.
She is broken,
destined to live in pain.

Alone,
she ponders her photo's of the past.
Where she is King,
ruler of all.

Kingdom of smoke,
where all have claim.
But back then,
she couldn't see this far ahead.

The gestures have grown,
the wolves hide,
no one can be found.

Our King has fallen,
by the hands of the enemy.
Help,
all is lost.

The princess calls,
but her voice is lost,
in the thick roots of the overgrown unkept past,
no one will come.

No one will come.


Details | Elegy | |

Hunger For Death

A quick, furtive glance
To insure no one can stop
The heinous act by chance

The life about to be taken
Is one that has been
Battered and forsaken

Tired of the disappointments
Attempting to please with
Fruitless compliments

The soul in release, ne'er cold
For the fortunate task
Freeing the tumultuous soul

Digressing from further raving
Time to take the life
Of the end, it is craving


Details | Elegy | |

Going Home Again

Don't weep for me, I'm still here with you.
I'm in the air that you breathe,and in the wind that blows your hair.
I'll be in that first ray of sunshine that wakes you up,and in that last lingering
light of the moon and stars.
Don't weep for me,I'm going home.
I know your hurting, I can hear your soul crying, but calm yourself and remember,
the next time you feel the wind on your face,see a rainbow, sit and watch
the sunset,or even see shooting star,it's me,sending you my love.
And until we meet again,I'll keep your love with me for infinity.
Don't weep for me, I'm home again.


Details | Elegy | |

tomorrow

"I'll see ya tomorrow" is the last thing he said.
     Giving a hug and that cocky grin,
          The grin that made you feel special and safe.
The world stopped when he left that day.
     Red lights, Blue uniform, no good news,
          Nothing can make it change no matter trying how hard.
Think back before the world stopped,
     Now we must hug him and remember that grin. 
          We say Good-Bye gently each day that passes.
"I'll see ya tomorrow" is the only thing he said.
     He just never said how many it would be.


Details | Elegy | |

Take My Hand

Won't you take my hand?
Will you walk me down this path?
Guiding lights don't linger here
To show the world I have.

Won't you take my hand?
Will you take me through this life?
Tell me how I need to be,
How to win this strife.

Please take my hand.
Just tell me where to go.
So many lost and helpless,
So many left to know.

Won't you take my hand?
Will you walk me down this path?
Far less than innocent, yet 
Too pure to feel such wrath.

Won't you take my hand?
Will you heal my desperation?
Heal this sorrow,
Hear my cries,
Draw me into near obsession. 

Never take my hand.
Never walk this path with me.
Feel for you I always will,
Darkness has set you free.


Details | Elegy | |

Go Join the Rain

An old man sat on his porch
rocking his life away
watching the sun fade in the horizon
each and every day

He wondered of all the days gone by
all the memories he had lived
trying to remember the reasons why
he chose the life he did

The old man who rocked the chair
was burdened by years of pain
but I told him not to close his eyes
for there is beauty in the rain 

The old man said many things that day
and one sounded like goodbye
so I touched his hand asking him to stay
but his head lay silent at his side

I rocked him in the evening wind
silently beginning to cry
knowing I didn’t ease the pain
my father carried inside

Old man you tried to rock away
those many years of pain
but decided to open your eyes
and join the beauty in the rain


Details | Elegy | |

Cry

 Cry a tear drops down my eye as I see the pain you were in, You were my father it 
seemed like you were my only friend. 

  This cannot be real, I wanted so bad for you to heal to be the same person that you 
used to be but all i'd ever have was painful memories. 

  I wanted you here for my wedding for my first child, I wanted you here for everything 
for things father's live for.

  Now all I can see is the care free life that is put in front of me, My mother is more 
like a sister than anything she knows What's best but not like a father would.

  I can come home late and she won't suspect a thing, maybe I need a father to put down 
that hard cold disapline. 

   I cry whenever I think about not having someone in my life to hold me down, To keep 
me warm, to warn me.

  Life is filled with hardships I thought you'd always be there to protect me. Always be 
there to hug me.

  Cancer took you away so slowly but when you were gone it seemed like just a second. I 
wanted you close, I wanted to always be daddy's little girl but nothing worked out the 
way I planned it. 

  I cried, my eyes out now they are dry but they will never heal. The scars from tears 
have damage them for life.

  I will cry at my graduation, I will cry at my wedding, I will cry at each special 
event and just image you there holding a camera.

  Capture it daddy I will smile and say ill picture you handing me a tissue because you 
never left me sad for long. 

 Cry I think i'm over that, But remember you'll always be in my heart.


Details | Elegy | |

No Rhyme or Reason

There is no rhyme or reason
Why that day you had to die

It was that cold winter season
When you got your wings to fly

You are up high where the Angels live
Where passed loved ones have flown before you

Though you still had much love to give
You left me alone and feeling blue

Missing you more as each day passes
Time not easing this grief

I now see through eyes covered with dark glasses
Will my heart ever find relief


Details | Elegy | |

Blue Pearl

A rare blue pearl that 
I discovered today,
glistening beneath the sea--

brought thoughts of your laugh,
your love for life and how
we were meant to be.

Gathering it gently
I swam to dry land,
then ran as fast as I could.

You smiled as you sunned
on that heavenly beach,
just like I knew you would.

So proud of myself, I
gave you my gift and
we walked down that beautiful shore.

We spoke of old sorrows and
earthly regrets, thankful
we'd feel them no more.

Eternally blessed
and hand in hand,
we watched as our new sun set.

Then we dined at a table
with our precious Lord
and praised Him for
the day that we met.


Details | Elegy | |

Life Without You

Will this pain ever ease
Or is grief a disease
That slowly devours my heart

Thoughts of you always in my head
How can you really be dead
Knowing how much I still love you

Your life on earth was cut short
Leaving me without your emotional support
My life now forever changed

How can this really be
You are no longer with me
I thought we would be together always

I miss you with all my heart
It has been that way from the start
I'm looking forward to being reunited in death

When our souls once again reunite
I will scream with such delight
We then will be together for eternity


Details | Elegy | |

the price

You left that night not knowing the outcome
After going to a party you wouldn't be home from
You had a few drinks what was I to say
Who knew you where throwing your life away
You got in your car and started to drive away
What a way to spend your last day
I got a call saying something was wrong
Your heartbeat faint, your pulse almost gone
The doctor came and said there was nothing they could do
They tried hard but he didn't pull through
There's a cross now to silently tell the story
As that day's memories fade into history
Your name in a book of deaths for that year
I'm sure everyone knows that name written with a tear
The price we had to pay was much too high
Maybe if you knew the cost you wouldn't of had to die
You could have taught me so much if you were still alive
Though you still taught me to not drink and drive


Details | Elegy | |

Like Red On A Rose

Dedicated to Papa (1947-2004)

All I can say right now is wow
It has indeed been too long
I never really listened to the radio
Until I hear that one song.
It takes me back so many years
To when I was just three
When we were riding in the truck together
You sang to me like I was a baby.
It takes me back to those years on the lake
When I caught my first fish
We took it home to Grandma for a surprise
For that day, I longingly wish.
It takes me back to my earliest memory
of you and me watching T.V.
Grandma Miriam was there as well
So I must have been just a baby.
It takes me back to when Grandma died
And you married Jessica instead
I began calling her Grandma as well
And I brought her the fish that was dead.
It takes me back to that summer
When I fell off the golf cart
You told me that seeing me cry
Was truly breaking your heart.
It takes me back to hearing you sing
For the last time in 2005
It was Alan Jackson then, too
Just a little before you died.
It takes me back to that day
When you weren't doing so well
We went to see you in the hospital 
That visit made my heart swell.
It takes me back to that day
When I got off the bus
Nana was there and she told me
That you were no longer with us.
It takes me back to just a week ago
When I heard Alan Jackson's song
And, for the first time in two whole years,
I actually sang along.
True, my tears were running
Pretty rapidly
But I knew that the crying would help
'Cause I could feel you singing along with me.


Details | Elegy | |

Momma's Kitten

no longer do the hours keep; the minutes pass me by. it's as if when you left all 
of time time conceded to fly. your name i hear screaming come from my voice. 
my prayer; please god no!  was my only choice.  you passed as softly as a setting 
sun, and in the end, baby girl, immortality you have one. so it is with deep regrets 
we will remember you here and yet with hints of happiness knowing one day we 
will be there.  heaven was your home from the start you see; so sit apon your 
father's knee and sing praises all day long; for in our hearts we will forever play 
your song.


Details | Elegy | |

Alone in Life

Life without you is like being dead.
There’s no purpose to get up or to go through the day.
When you’re alone its like just being empty inside, nothing has any meaning. Life 
has no reason to go on.
Everybody needs somebody to share everydays.
When the sun comes up it is so much better to share the beauty of the sunrise 
with someone.
When it rains it’s better to stay in bed and share the beauty of the rainfall.
Just everday, the little things are great when you have someone to share them 
with. When you are alone it has no meaning because it becomes no fun, just 
loneliness. 
You feel just empty and without purpose in life- when you are by yourself. We all 
need someone- it started since the day we were born to the day we die. 




Details | Elegy | |

Taken

The light turns yellow and the mother hauls on the brakes,
the truck behind her tried but it was already too late
the little girl is knocked unconscious the ambulance soon arrives
the mother has minor bruises but the child is listed in critical
and the bedside vigil begins

Alejandra, my baby, please get better for I need you with me
her angels are hovering over waiting on the word that is yet to be
tears seep through the mother's eyes whispering
Alejandra, darling, how could this be
one moment we're together and now I pray I'll have another chance
to say how much I love you

Twenty-four hours went by when Alejandra passed in the night
she looked just like an angle so sweet in the light
How will I ever live with this pain inside of me?
When all I want to do is go and be with my baby

Alejandra, my gift was taken all too soon
and now my baby's in Heaven so brief and all too soon


Details | Elegy | |

Detour

Being with you for over 8 years,
has had it's share of smiles and tears.

But now a collision of principle,
and dealing with it is difficult.

Why are we both so stubborn?
From our mistakes we never learn.

A long detour of what lies ahead,
Is there another way to go on with life, instead of being left for dead?

It's hard for me to remember the bad things that have put me on my knees,
out of respect for you I must make my peace.

Can you be honest with yourself and understand how much I love you?
Not perverted by others point of view.

I know I can't make you change your mind or your heart,
just remember it was you who sought me out from the start.

Maybe you saw something in me that was different from everyone else.

Whatever your reasons were then, Do you feel mistaken?
Have these 8 years been a dream from which we've finally waken?


Details | Elegy | |

Torment

There was a time when my life had definition,
my responsibility to you was lifes only ambition.

I've always felt as if I had to watch my step.
Can you picture yourself at all in my stead?

Both of us biting our tongue to keep the peace,
to avoid conflict with everyone though would never cease.

Did we even have control of anything from the start?
Was it some grand scheme with both of us playing a part?

I honestly think we both carried a subliminal fear,
afraid to face it, yet loose all we hold dear.

This phase in our lives is such torment,
wondering if it's worth it on how it's spent.

My love for you lacks complete understanding of why we're divided,
the direction of my mind and heart I wish was better guided.


Details | Elegy | |

Gone

They say that you never realize
What you have until it's gone
But I knew what I had until
They had to take your life away
We used to hang out at the park
Talk and play a lot
But now that you are gone
My life has been different
You were my friend, and
You were like a brother to me
What would make someone do
Such an evil thing to you
We played basketball and baseball
And we played tag football
But now that you're gone
Nothing will be the same
While we live in a world of 
Cruelty and crime, and deceit
We try to move on in life
Despite our loved ones being taken away
We can never share those moments
And even if you are gone
Nobody can replace the beauty,
the power and the love in you 


Details | Elegy | |

It takes 26 days to get to heaven

          
My angel came from heaven.. Though I had to give him back,
Too soon for my liking, for it was out of my hands.

Please let me hold him. I want to brush my lips
against his cheek. . But it was not to be,
as he would be gone in a few short weeks.

He would not die in vain I kept telling myself,
He'd not be forgotten on some dusty shelf.

A child so small can he really make 
a difference?.. Oh yes beamed our lord as my 
son made his entrance..
 
I will always grieve for this small son of mine,
proof of these empty arms by my side.

Yes the years have passed but the shattered
dream is still there, I have proof of this each
time I hold his lock of hair.

I know that he gave so that  others could live,
Whenever I think of him I try to remember this.

So long my dear son, please don't stray too far.
for if you do, it will surely again break my heart...



My son was born 17 weeks premature on 9/11/1988. He should have never made it out of 
the operating room alive let alone survived 26 more days.He weighed 1Lb and was only 
11'' long. By the time he died he weighed under a pound. His skin was so translucent that 
you could see through his tiny hands.I was so desperate for him to live that I enrolled him 
into an experimental study for a drug that would rapidly grow his lung tissue.He ended up 
developing pneumonia in his tiny lungs and within 24 hours we realized that we were 
prolonging his death not his life. So we ended the life support and cradled him as he 
passed. The one and only good thing that came out of this is that the drug was approved, 
and today thousands of premmies are alive because of this life saving drug. Here in 
St.paul, minnesota at the childrens hospital, there is a tree planted in his honor. The part of 
my poem that says he gave so others could live.. well, this is what i meant(the experimental 
drug).




Details | Elegy | |

Living Without You


A garden, 
blooming 
and sea of 

beauties dancing in the smile of 

morn orb. The 
sexy posture of 
a rose 

stands afore, yet, her glow cannot

outshine 
the diamonds
rolling down 

on my cheeks, nor can solve 

the paradigm
of my day 
obscured— 

by your absence, my love!


Details | Elegy | |

Missing You

I want to say I'm sorry,
I'm sick of all the questions,
My heart is tearing in two,
because I miss you,
I'm sorry for what I said,
I hate all these unanswered questions,
that I never told you,
I'm sick of all the lies I spread,
even though none were about you.

I want to say I'm sorry,
I'm missing you so much,
this loss I must now endure,
and as I write this poem,
I write all my feelings down,
I'm not crying,
I never have,
must I must say just one thing,
if I can't say anything else,
I love you,
and always have.

I want to say I'm sorry,
my dearest great-grandma,
how can somebody so young as me,
possibly handle this loss?
I'm only twelve years old,
well, I'm almost thirteen,
but still I'm young not old.
I don't know how to handle this,
I don't know what to do,
I've never cried before in memory,
but that doesn't mean I don't feel sad.
I love you Nana!


Details | Elegy | |

She's Gone

I'm shedding tears just thinking
Of all the beers she is drinking
There goes one, two, three, now four
She stumbles to the car and opens the door 
Im screaming as I watch her go
I hate it when she drinks but I'd never let it show
That night I went to bed not thinking
I'd be waking up to hear she's dead.


Details | Elegy | |

The Letter "C"

You came into my life unexpected.
I don’t enjoy your company.
I never asked for you in the first place. 
You have bought me nothing but sadness since the day you arrived.
I cry every night because of you. 
Why did you pick me out of everyone else?
I can’t stand the way you make me feel sick and nauseated.  
It’s like you knock the wind out of me. 
Now I’m trying to get back up and I will because I’m strong, powerful, and I 
believe in myself. 
You’re just a word that starts with the letter “C” and when you say it out loud its 
cancer. 
I want run away from you I’ll fight you until the end.


Details | Elegy | |

Love Lost

What is this thing called Love?
Does it fall from heaven above?
To  burrow in an unsuspecting heart.
Making the owner awake with a start.

New feelings of warmth filled my whole being.
Sanity gave way to a whole new seeing.
Suddenly the sun shone brighter, 
even my steps somehow became lighter.

Roses bloom everywhere I look,
I felt that I could write a book,
to tell the world of this wonderful feeling
that had suddenly sent me reeling.

Arms once used to wash and dress,
Are better used to warm caress.
Heartbeat changed to a flutter,
And speech became a nervous stutter.

The longing for the next meeting,
The warm loving kiss received in greeting,
Is it just a Chemical reaction?
caused by lonely people seeking mutual attraction.

Or is this an eternal flame?
This warm loving feeling to always remain.
I wish it were true that forever I would be with you.
But you are gone, and I must carry on.

My heavy heart will never know,
why God chose you, when I loved you so.
As I hold our two babies to my breast.
I wonder why God always chose the best.


Details | Elegy | |

A Letter to Mother

Mother, oh Mother, oh how I think of thee
your loving touch 
your patient soul
was alway there for me,
In times of crisis, in my youth
when adolescence flaired
it was you who took control of things
point is you were there,
You never got to see me grow
to the man that i am now
for you had to leave so young in life
before Gods' throne you bowed,
The highest honor I bestowe to you
your essence will live on
tis' the pattern of your life i live
till my day is done.


Leonard Charles Peele


Details | Elegy | |

A Soldier's Good-Bye

My life was taken with grief
I will say good-bye but it must be brief
I was fighting to keep you safe
I didn't know it was my life they would take

They stole my youth
Told me lies
Not the truth
The recruit asked me to join to help reach their goal
But in reality he was asking for my soul
I was a pawn in His chess game
He sacrificed me for his own gain
Now I lie here amongst the dead
Friend and foe man drenched in red
I wish I could take my name of the black list of death
But now I am here saying prayers with my last breath

I wish I could see your face one more time
To hold you hand within mine
I wish you could have known how much I loved you
But those wishes will never come true
The decision has been made and it cost me my life
Leaving you a widow and not my wife

I hear the weak screams of the terrified young
The Fear took the life of someone's son
I look up to the blood stained sky
Ready for my end not understanding why
My soul is gone now please don't cry
This is a soldier's last good-bye


Details | Elegy | |

Alone

Alone she sat on the Park bench, 
her belongings beside her in a plastic bag. 
All her life now in this bag. 
People passed her by, without a glance. 

How she had worked for the sick and lonely. 
Now here she sat, forgotten,tired, and hungry, 
Weary of this life that had dealt such a cruel deal. 
They didn't know that beneath that tattered raincoat 
beat a heart , long broken. 

Her career forfeited for the man she loved. 
Who long since had left her for another. 
Never realizing that she was now a mother. 
Her son grew into a fine young man, 
Who went to fight for Queen and country. 

The telegram was not surprising,a final blow 
the Middle East an it's uprising, 
Suddenly, her spirit broken. 
She took to the road with just a token. 

They passed her by, day by day. 
Never knew that broken heart, 
beating it's final retreat, beneath that grubby coat. 
At night the doorway was cold and damp. 

She laid her weary head on a folded newspaper. 
The morning patrol approached, without feeling. 
Report read:- Another tramp, a woman, dead. 
Nothing unusual to report.


Details | Elegy | |

GONE

I recall that tragic day
When the telephone rang.
Still, so fresh like yesterday;
A year ago, such pain.

A familiar voice on the other end,
What she was saying couldn't be true.
My mother's words I didn't comprehend,
Asking how God could be so cruel?
He took away the only one
That had ever been there.
She was my "SPECIAL SOMEONE",
Always showing me she cared.

My Grandma had a heart of gold
And was full of nothing but good.
The cute little stories she told
Brightened up my childhood.
Without her raising me,
There's so much I wouldn't know.
Who knows where I'd be
If she hadn't taught me to grow.

In an instant,  POOF!, she's gone,
A terrible accident took her away,
Making it difficult to move on,
Regretting the things I didn't say.
How I LOVED her, heart and soul,
Wishing I had made that clear.
Was she proud, I'd like to know
Of the woman I am in the mirror?

I believed I'd have her always,
Planning to visit more or call.
Thinking we had plenty of days,
But that wasn't the case at all.
In one day, a single moment
It can all disappear,
Not realizing how much they meant,
Until now, that they're not here.

(12/08/06-In memory of my Grandmother)


Details | Elegy | |

Marlin

A smile
A guitar
A rolled up cig
A voice that sings
At every gig

A mind that travels
Beyond this plain,
A sense of humor,
Sometimes insane...

A devotion
To daughters
Of whom he was
so proud,
A tendency never,
to talk too loud

Words and thoughts
Wise beyond his years,
Human suffering
That brought on tears

Mark T...
His Gors nickname
"Marlin"
I wonder if he liked to fish,
One thing's for sure,
I truely wish

He did still tread
This earth, a world
so grand,
I was oh so privileged
To be in his band.


Details | Elegy | |

Operation

Time draws near for surgery,
something that was never taken with great urgency.

Two years of pain day in and day out,
some days I just wanted to scream and shout.

Endless pills of anti-inflammitories and narcotics,
added with depression is enough to make you psychotic.

Frustration of dealing with constant suffering in everyday life,
longing every day to go under the knife.

Carrying on with my mind and body numbed by medication,
all the while destroying my marriage and corrupting my dedication.

How am I to think rationally feeling like this?
Feeling like I'm trapped in a abyss.

Agony is subjective in mind and body,
believe me when I tell you this is no hobby.

Will you ever understand my vexation?
Trying to walk with a wretched sensation.

The clock is ticking towards operation,
the outcome of which I hope is salvation.


Details | Elegy | |

Love's Last Goodbye...

in loving memory of Norbert Terrio, we miss you..

Life takes it's toll,
yet time pushes on...
You don't understand 
  the things that you know.
Deny the reality, 
  the pain is too deep,
Things would be easier  
  if you could just go to sleep.
But sleep isn't easy,
  you want love to stay.
Afraid to close your eyes 
  lest life slip away...
Saying goodbye 
  seems the hardest part.
The simple acceptance 
  tears you apart.
The suffering is great,
  the pain is unreal,
So you try to hide 
  the hurt that you feel.
This kind gentle soul,
  the love you adore,
Lies quietly awaiting 
  the opening of the door.
Beyond is such joy,
  solitude and peace..
Your love is still waiting 
  for your gentle release.
You know it's time,
  the tears fill your eyes,
Tenderly you hold love, 
  and bid him goodbye...


Details | Elegy | |

Life's To Short

I sit in the back wandering, wandering why we are all here
He was so young, this can't be
They cry has they walk by. There must be some mistake,
he was only three

There are pictures of family and friends, flowers all around
There are on dry eyes, there are none to be found 

As it's my turn to walk by, I notice his little shirt, I think of my own
baby and how life's to short

I get home, I kiss my daughter and hold her tight. When I put her to bed
I tell her, "I love you," every single night


Details | Elegy | |

Together

When I say I love you, I mean it,

When you are sleeping, cooking, talking or holding you I'll say it.

Love is more than making love, it's a friendship that never dies,

A soul binding, an eternal binding of ties.

Even if we're apart, at work, or in a different room doesn't change a thing,

We all have our pleasures, that brought us together with a ring.

I could never ask you to change who you are,

It's why I fell in love with you, back from the start.

Even when you feel alone, believe me you're not,

We just get carried away, lost in thought.

Good times and bad times and trends will always be there,

Knowing that some things in life just aren't fair.

I love you because you love me,

Together living as one being.


Details | Elegy | |

Repair

Trying to make amends will take time,
I'm living my life as if you've died.

I don't know what to say that I already haven't.

You say it's over but it's really just the beginning,
to find out who we really are inside while our whole world is set spinning.

Struggling to find our inner peace of mind,
doing stupid things we think are logical to unwind.

Will it always be a face off between us?

Tell me what I can do to repair the damage,
don't leave me hanging in revenge as part of your rampage.

If you're so sorry then why go on?
Seems like you're enjoying my suffering, till for me all hope is gone.

Will you end up like the people you love the most?
Alone and bitter of men to be seen like ghosts?

So much anger so much hate.
If you say it's not like you then why dose it surface with such haste?

I'm done, I'm tired of this cycle of pain,
cause I will always take the blame.

You're perfect and you've done nothing wrong, keep telling yourself this,
carry out your days knowing ignorance is bliss.


Details | Elegy | |

Reflection

Vacant eyes
of wandering mind
Crooked neck
of broken road
I found myself
lost at home

Stained by glass
Splintered by bone
The wood creaked 
My face stone

Mocked by self
Driven by pain
Pity was fate
Solace in vain 

Echoes of life
Remnants of death
The stale air spoke
My last breath

Mirror, mirror
On my wall
Tell me
Who will miss me
When you’re gone


Details | Elegy | |

R U Losing Me

If you will 
Breathe for me 
The satanic realism
We can be 
On my dying lay
Breathe for me
Every odd believes in thee
Running scared 
All the smiles 
On this sunny day, we shared 
Call for my debts 
Now I’m running scared
Surely you’re losing me 
Is it possible? 
To have you breathe for me
The satanic realism we can be
On my dying lay
Surely you’re losing me
Breathe with me 



Details | Elegy | |

The Songless Bird

O, songless bird, speak thine plight to thee!
I awoke to hear thine tears in the deepest pit of thy slumber,
My songless bird, the night has stolen thine heav'nly ballad,
And given thee a life of sorrow,
Fly not away from thine hands and look not away from thy loving gaze,
I shall hear thine divine song once more,
Hear it ring! Like church bells in thine pure heart,
And shatter the torments of hell with thine perilous love,
Frost and fire, shadow and dawn, life and dream,
Only thine melodic words, gilded threads of thine shining youth,
Lips crimson with violent ardor,
Only, could pour forth the waters to cascade into the cistern of thy lust for song!


Details | Elegy | |

Pain

Physical, or emotional in some way, it’s there,
always wanting to get rid of it, but where?

Running away from it doesn’t help,
it just makes us feel better within ones self.

And when one makes their pain everybody else’s pain,
they’re  wasting they're life in vain.

Either we share it with someone or we keep it for ourselves,
wallowing in our sorrow, seeking any form of help.

When it involves love, the answers lie within,
making choices for ourselves instead, would be nothing but sin.

It makes us who we are, and we must accept it.


Details | Elegy | |

Remember

Even though you have your doubts,
sometimes we feel we have to shout.

About the mistakes we’ve made in the past,
hoping the forgiveness this time will last.

I know you’re tired and worn thin,
trying to prove myself to you a new begin.

I remember a book of poems for my birthday,
poems I wrote on my light and darkest days.

I remember going to the water park,
and even though afraid I was by your side.

I remember coming back from Iraq and you holding me in your arms,
feeling safe with you in our home from harm.

The mistakes I’ve made I wish to forget,
and I know you do to without any regret.

I know that I have changed just not enough,
please be patient with me I know it seems tough.

I need you so much that I can’t live without you,
I miss you, your husband misses you


Details | Elegy | |

The Unsung Hero

Your memories step
Into the lustrous glass
Whispering 
The final journey
Tears and laughter not lost 
Though, leaving without goodbyes
For its being etched in the hearts
Of those, who care and love
Forever, your name
Will be remembered
Like a message…
A Reflection
Of bravery
Shown against
The blackness
Of storm, that brought 
Countless bodies 
Down to ashes of wails
The loved ones
Whom you left behind
Their lowly spirits
Will be strengthened, with your 
Martyrdom
For them
You will live in eternity
For you’re the diamonds
Giving them all the time
Your brightness…
Even though
You’ve ascended 
Unwillingly, to the height
Of limitless sky



Details | Elegy | |

The Last Words

I miss my father everyday,
He is no longer there...
I miss him dearly,
Somedays too hard to bear...

When I envision him at the table,
Or playing his mouth harp,
An instrument on which he was,
Oh so very sharp...

Phantom breezes,
Like memories...
Still flow through cracked windows,
of 100 years ago...
Memories of family gatherings,
No more shall I ever know..
I grow old and frail and wonder,
When will it be my time to go...

Oh, if miracles God could grant,
Based on necessity,
He'd have me No. 1, first on line,
From the need only he and I could see

The last vibrations,
Of his final vocalizations,
Still within my heart,
Will linger until I utter mine,
And at last I, as well, do depart...

One last hurrah,
One last sweet afternoon, 
Having a beer on the porch together,
Listning to Glenn Miller,
Or perhaps one of the Dorseys,
Enjoying just being alive together,
Oh, all the things he taught me,
Family love hard as steel,
Now breaks my heart,
You likely know how I feel

Treasured hours on our porch,
Hearing "American Standards Radio"
Or watching the Yankees, or the Mets,
Just about as sweet as life gets...
The need to converse optional,
We've already shared our own secret beliefs,
Our feelings slowly peeling from our souls,
So there, no words need we share,
Just so glad each is there...
Flying amongst the trade winds,
So pregnant with emotion,
A sense of finality,
Of our love and deep devotion...

People who are no more,
In a place no longer there,
Echoes of time,
And words we did once share...


Something is flying about.....


Details | Elegy | |

Missing Billy Bell

twenty nine years ago,
on a cold and icy night,
my dearest friend and cousin...
entered into eternal light,
although, for me, that fateful eve,
plunged my heart into eternal night
music was his passion,
food, friends, and familu too...
his laugh could light a dungeon,
and this I swear is true
boots protruding from beneath a blanket,
that covered his remains,
this loss so deep and shocking,
has forever left our hearts with stains


Details | Elegy | |

Never Gone

Many people will leave great impressions on your life
Though you may be oblivious until it’s too late
And when after so long you finally conceive
Fate may have already taken it’s place

Never before did I consider his teachings
Never realized how much his words inspired me
Until the day he took his life
And set his longing soul free

He was a minister who could be matched by no other
But in life he felt he would never succeed
Now he’s looking down from heaven
Realizing that in fact his standards he exceeded

Though he is no longer my minister here on Earth
And teachings from him I’ll receive no more
No longer will I take his morals for granted
But use them to prepare for what life has in store


Details | Elegy | |

Beneath Your Feet

Bury me 
A bit further over the hills
I ask you to carry me
Bury me
Never shall we perish
Together we 
So please bury me
Misery indeed
Onward, no boundaries 
The sin that I lead
I shall ask no more
Bury me 
Just past those hills 
I will have you carry me 
As those whom tear for me, will
Bury me 


Details | Elegy | |

Southern Loop

The arrow I see every day
Pointing me along my way
As I walk and sing and pray
North to fire’s Ice temptation
For as I think of little good
Wondering if I could, I should
Thinking still of little nice
Taking chances with weighted dice
Moving forward once, yet backwards twice
Towards ill made joy and elation
Immature in action, voice, and pencil
Run on logs and so much kindle
As innocent leaves pay ultimate price
Just fly to fall and end the play
Amidst the concentration
The truth is lost in tickle
But somehow left ok
As minerals of Ice decay
In truthful concentration


Details | Elegy | |

My Friend Mark

I've known him since high school,
He had an immense impact on me,
Tosseled, curly blonde hair,
And always with a smile,
A musician's musician,
With talent a tad lower
Than he gave on,
I feared no audience when he was there,
He somehow comforted me,
He always had a bright outlook,
He was magic in a crowd,
With tales and totes to please us all,
He made a 40 watt bulb burn at 100,
I particularly remember he and Mike Joseph,
(Who stole an amp from me),
Sitting on the "Peeve Room" floor,
with acoustic guitars on laps,
Playing "Uncle John's Band"
To my delight, in 1970,
And all the music he opened me
up to, my God, he taught me so much...
Hence my great sadness at his passing,
When the angel of death came down to touch,
And take this musician, genius, and friend,
Into another celestial abode...
They left a hole in my heart,
Where once his gift of friendship flowed.


Details | Elegy | |

You Can't Always Hide

Make a night
In deep blackness, falling calling,
I sight,
I see you holding on to all you have left,
Alright?Not alright.
Never again, no never again,
You throw yourself onto the ground and cling
to dewy grass
Like Heaven's Hell sent child
You cry again
And tears fall down your eyes
It's red, ruby, crimson,
the blood of a thousand men
and a thousand more
Staining the skin on your hands
Like the color of the throats you tore
A killer,
distiller,
As you come to terms again
He is dead, over, gone
'There's nothing I can do
So I run'
You run from
the child you once knew
you run from your mother and your friends,
you run from him too.
I thought that you loved him so much...
'Like a thousand stars' he lit up your life,
You loved the way he drove you crazy with one simple touch,
Or with his breath on your skin,
You loved him like no one else did
So now that he asks "Where have you been?"
As you stare down at his cold, lifeless grave,
Your fingers trace over the rough grey stone,
Your tears flow free as a wave
you've cried this chamber dry
you trace the letters of his name
Carefully, as if it would break if you try,
Nothing can erase this pain
You left your only one here to lay die
And now your tears fall down like rain
Pouring, falling, like the rain that night,
Black darkness, you find in reverie
You ran up to his window and these same tears blocked your sight,
He lay, your love, he lay dead
On his bedroom floor
A gun in his hand, a bullet in his head,
Was your love not enough to keep him alive?
Now as you sit here on his very grave,
you too lay down and die inside,
'I miss you...I miss you so terribly
I can't believe I let you go,I was there,
But I was gone and blind to see
how much my running hurt you
Everytime I turned my back on my emotion,
Devotion, love, I wish I'd known,
How you felt, what I feared.'
Crawling slowly you press your lips
to this stone
All you have left of him
His new home,
'All I see now, love, is a mirror image of me, for inside,
I'm dying, slowlying, faithfully
without you by my side
I lay down on your gravesight
and I die tonight
Knowing we will meet again
when it finally ends
Goodbye, now, then.'


Details | Elegy | |

Hopeless

Sometimes I wonder if we were doomed from the start,
seems like others laid down their influences to impart.

Our differences aren't as drastic as they seem,
although taken out of context they'll make you scream.

People trying to get our attention to distort the focus of our love,
it appears they've got the upper hand, you know whom I speak of.

Maybe your expectations of me were out of touch with reality,
spawn from a troubled past, now haunting our causality.

We both failed and there's no other way to say it,
traumatized as a whole, like a suicidal person's wrist slit.

Believe me when I say I want it to work, 
Does any love for me in that heart still lurk?

It would appear that you're so vexed to listen to reason,
marital vows broken, rationale for treason.

Realizing all is hopeless, I'll never loose hope,
carry on my days at the end of a rope.


Details | Elegy | |

Apprehension

Live the rest of your life in apprehension and you're already dead,
What's the point of going on with thoughts of fear and dread?

Seems like that's the way most of us live,
always ready to take rather than give.

If you're so strong then why do you give up?
I shouldn't be the one to blame when times got tough.

And what of our child? So innocent to give love in return.
Will she learn from her mother? And let the hate burn.

You're not the only one who wants the best for us three,
saying you can't give me what I need when I plea.

I wonder if you're able to give love to anyone,
so quick to throw me out and tell me you're done.

Longing to talk, try and comfort you,
all I do is make you mad, perceptions so askewed.

I'm at a loss for words as time goes on,
dying a slow death from dusk till dawn.


Details | Elegy | |

Where Did You Go Brother?

Where did you go brother?
Why did you leave me?
Who took you brother?
Did they take you safely?
Why did you leave us in tears brother?
Why did you leave me alone?
Where are you brother?
Why are you not home?
Why was this done brother?
Why did my world turn so cold?
Where did you go brother?
The answer remains untold


Details | Elegy | |

Life's adventures

Who’s to say what the future may bring, 
the gift of life is a forgotten thing.
Wandering alone makes one hold their head high or low, 
never considering the costs we owe.
Feeling all alone now in this world hurts, 
taking all responsibility trying to make things work.
If time will tell, and I feel like I’m dying, 
my efforts seem futile all the while worth trying.
Now seeing that my love in life is not here, 
I will give it my all to have you both near.
My wife and my child are all that I have, 
no ego to bruise and pride to hold back.
I love you both now and forever, 
hoping one day that we’ll all be together.

Living out life’s adventures.


Details | Elegy | |

How Love Doth Gleam

From deepest pit of thysoul doth rise new dreams,
Rain cascades from thine dark windows,
Tears that have lived within one for many years,
Lustrous, liquid pearls forged from sway thy soul,
Birthed in thy heart, how love doth gleam,
From thine ebon heart a pillar of light shall sawy,
Through these dark forests a quiet daze,
Felt thy sorrow, thy face sweet dove, thy heart raven,
Every waking hour I tread through April's newly shed tears,
Give not thy day for another,
In realm of senses you were thy heart's brother,
Yet from thy soul doth rise new dreams,
Come to thee, fairest love,
The fabric of thine lonely love has burst its seams!


Details | Elegy | |

That is Silence

Silence is like the night.
Calm, tranquil, like black silk.
Covering you like a blanket of death.
Ice, frozen raindrops, a sea of nothingness.
That is silence.

Wait, strain to hear, what was that?
Nothing but the sweet darkness that is silence.
Where can I go to escape this heavy feeling?
It's coming down more quickly; heavy, dark, nothingness.
That is silence.

Calmness, light, a tunnel, peace.
Is this the end?
Heaviness, hands of light reaching out to pull you in.
Finally, peace, a wash of sweet light.
That is silence.


Details | Elegy | |

uncle

as he clasped to the wall
my HEART began to fall...
ALMOST TO THE GROUND
JUST loud enough TO MAKE 
A BIG BUT
deep AND weak sound
THE SOUND OF PAIN....

But in my mind "I WISH IT WASN'T TIME"
TIME FOR HIM to go
and leave me all alone...

for me to CRY
and WISH IT WAS MY TIME to go
with you because i'm all
SAD AND BLUE
i never thought but
i know
you was my uncle 
BUT THE ONLY ONE WHO CARED
I WISH YOU WAS HERE TO MAKE
ME be me
here and there


Details | Elegy | |

destined to die, destined to cry

he had demons of despair inside of his head
he was living an existence that was not spirit-led
many saw his depression and his violent sorrow
but none could possible perceive the plans he had for tomorrow

he purchased some guns and then returned to that school
he killed 31 people and his anger was the fuel
why? why? why did he do this senseless act?
what? what? what in character did he lack?
31 innocent people were unaware of the coming danger
destined to die by the actions of a familiar stranger

they reported he left a suicide note
but does anyone care what he had wrote?
now 32 families will stand at a grave site's cross
trying to make some sense out of this terrible loss
32 families today destined to cry
and no one really knows the reasons why


Details | Elegy | |

My Dearest Naomi

A dot on a screen can bring such joy,
In my heart you were a girl,
Though he wanted a boy.
Before I could see your sweet smile,
In a flash you were gone.
Somehow it was my fault,
What could I have done?
A mother’s worse nightmare,
No body to bury.
My own precious child,
Unable to carry.
Your father has forgotten,
The rest of your family too,
But your mother’s battered heart
Breaks only for you.


Details | Elegy | |

Why Must We Grieve

To cleanse the soul, so often we hear... Does that answer dull the pain? Not 
even near... The river of grief runs ever so deep, flooding our soul, making us 
weep... Just hearing the sound of our own cries, makes life unbearable when a 
loved one dies... Why must we grieve? If only twas faith that helped us 
believe...Saying goodbye tis a sadness we share, collapsing beneath the 
crosses we bear... The pain of grief is a two edged sword, one side wounding, 
the other striking a healing chord...So why must we grieve I ask yet again, if only 
to drown in a sea of pain....

With Love Grandma...
 Vickie


Details | Elegy | |

The Picture

Look at her
So happy and alive
Not knowing the child should be 3 months
The one she couldn't have

The only tether to life
Another child of 3

can't die yet
Must live by rote

Aching to be her once again
The picture falls from my hand


Details | Elegy | |

The Sax's Sad Song

Regretfully, this is a true story;

Saturday- time for band rehearsal,
It's work we normally love to do,
But today was very different,
As I shall now tell you...

My sax player, Skip, always
picks me up in early morn,
For our two hour trip,
to Brooklyn, where we rehearse
in a studio, as is our norm...

He mentioned on the drive in,
He had something to tell us,
My curiosity was peaked,
But he said he'd tell us later,
so wait was what we must,

He played his sax today,
with passion as I'd never heard before,
It was quite impressive,
but what did he have in store?

At last, he finally told us,
and it broke each of our hearts,
His mother he had buried
the day before,
And from this world she now departs..

But, how this came to be,
Was truely shocking to me,
For she hung herself in despair
Over things of little care...

His sister found he so,
I can't imagine what a
shocking blow...

Being Jewish, she was buried
fast,
And I hardly could comprehend 
how long that hurt would last,

At my suggestion, we played
a song, she had taught him long ago, 
The same song my father taught me,
and one we played sweet and low,
"Saint James Infirmary" is the title,
And death is the portrait it paints,
I only trust in God, she now resides
with the Saints.



Details | Elegy | |

Tears in heaven

You watch from high above,
I regret what happen to us.
I should have never hurt you or questioned my trust.
I promised to love you forever,
you were my gold my so called treasure.
I was too blind to see our love drifting apart,
I thought I would always love you and you would always stay in my heart.
But the lust in my heart overpowered my love for you,
not even a million sorrys can take back what I put you through.
"I can't hurt the person I love so much," is what I use to say,
but when he would come by those words would fade away.
I couldn't resist the temptations in my heart,
yet with that one moment would change my life forever and tear us apart.
With your tears of pain and the streets being wet,
will always leave me with regret.
Within that instance you were taken from me,
without a chance to say I was sorry.
I hurt you so much I know it's true,
all I have left are the memories of the pain I put you through.
The rains bring tears to my eyes,
 because to me those are the tears that you cry.
I soak myself in your tears,
wishing you were here.
My heart should have never went a stray,
I wish for death each day.
I just want to see your face yet god is keeping me here to stay.
The tortures of my loss taps every night on my window payne.
I'm sorry for the pain I caused you deep within,
and I'm forever reminded of it when you cry your tears from heaven.


Details | Elegy | |

When He Didn't Return

You wake up put your uniform on and eat the breakfast I have made for you
You kiss the kids good-bye and I jet for the door to say I love you too
The day has just begun and there is so much I need to do
How to fit everything into one single day I haven’t got a clue

Dosing in and out of sleep the ringing is faint within my ear
I wasn’t ready for what it was I was just about to hear
What fire? The roof did what? Is he okay?
Suddenly that day turned into what I would remember to be the darkest day

My heart pounds faster making it harder to breathe over and over I pray
I call my mother to watch the kids and I can barely get out what I have to say
How could this normal day turn into the worst I’d ever see?
I clinch my eyes tightly together, how could this happen to me?

Driving as fast as I can the tears filling up my eyes
The radio is off and all that fills the air are my loud worried sighs 
The hallways seem so dull, long and a very pale white
My eyes are burning from tears and the flickering florescent light

A group of men in uniforms fill the hallway I have ended in
I try hard to fight this sick feeling I know I’m not going to win 
The loud voices, the explanations, the tears from everyone around 
My eyes move from person to person but I can’t hear a single sound

I walk into room 214 and see you lying in front of me 
The only things I can focus on are all the burns I see 
Please don’t leave me all alone I need you so much now
I should have been with you every minute everyday would allow

I will never forget this day for as long as I shall live, for now I am alone
I pick up your jacket and run my fingers over the patches that I have sewn 
Your helmet has been given to me and I’ll keep it with me forever
You told me once don’t forget and I whisper in your ear, “Forget you? Never” 

Time has passed so quickly it’ll be three years this May
I wish you could see our son who’s looking more like you everyday
When I ask him what his dream is he says to fight fires like his dad
It's been hard getting through each day but I know you’d tell me not to be sad

I wanted the chance to kiss you more and hug you as long as I could
Sometimes this world is so hard there is so much I wish I understood 
Alone I lay in bed and the only sounds I hear are the whisperings of the fan 
Selfishly I want you back but God must have needed a fine fire fightin’ man 


Details | Elegy | |

A Tribute to Liza

A night so still,
Pierced by a scream.
A crazy man forever,
Destroying a dream.
An innocent life,
Stripped by a gun,
In a battle, no-less,
That she could have won.
Hearts broken forever,
By two shots in the air.
Families mended,
By the love that they share.
Never more to see,
Their Liza again,
Harshly as life,
Has come to an end.

It’s a sad thing to happen,
To people so young.
It’s a sad thing to happen,
To anyone.
Nobody should pay,
Death at such cost.
And to loose a child,
Why there’s no greater loss.

Now dear Liza,
All I can say is this:
I wish you strength,
And eternal bliss.
I’ll think about you,
Everyday.
Please hold my hand,
Show me the way.

I know you’d be proud,
Of what I’ve achieved.
The fact that your gone,
Can not be perceived.
I’ve still got so much,
Left to do.
And I know,
That you also did too.

I’m trying to help,
Any way that I can.
I’m trying to win,
In this race that you ran.

Please help me and guide me,
Dear Liza my friend.
You paved the road.
Only you know its end.


Details | Elegy | |

Missing a friend

I sit here holding my tears inside,
I grip my pictures of you that never leaves my side.
Why did god have to take you?
Why did you have to die?
We use to kick back and get high,
now I'll smoke alone starring at the sky.
My days without you just don't seem right,
I remember that one night.
We won the championships and we drank the night away,
now I sit here at your furneral I hold you in my arms asking god to let you stay.
tears of saddness running down my face,
your my friend and there's no one that can take your place.
I wish the person driving that truck could see,
it wasn't just another life taken he was like a brother to me.
Partying without you won't be the same,
it'll hurt not seeing your face and hearing your name.
I pray to god for strength as I watch your body lowered into the ground,
everyone holds their sorrow with silence all around.
I know they say gangsters don't cry,
but how do you pass when it's your homeboy who dies.
I kiss a rose and lay it on your chest,
may god take you in his arms and help your body down to rest.
I will see you one day although time will seem long,
yet the memories of you will help keep me strong.


Details | Elegy | |

THE LEGACY

In circumstances unknown
She left this world alone;
Neath the fast flowing Ouse-
Judge not nor accuse!

This lovely wife of thirty-one
Whose beauty does transfix and stun;
Dying in circumstance unknown-
Leaving Arthur bereft,alone!

Heartbroken,distraught he searched
In weather so bitter and cold;
Until a final illness took hold--
A family tragedy,manifold!

Orphan Lily wept alone,
just five with no family home;
The Great War now just begun-
Her tiny world,undone!

In circumstances unknown,
Frances left this world alone;
Her legacy lingered to expand-
In the fair looks,of her daughters-grand!





Details | Elegy | |

I Remember Daddy

I remember when daddy helped me catch
my first fish
At night he'd tuck me in bed and seal it 
with a kiss
As the days grew older he finally gave
me away
He helped me appreciate life and encouraged
me to pray
To others daddy wasn't a perfect man, but to me
he was 'My King'
He would tell me to do my very best and loved to hear
his grandchildren sing
Oh, how it was such a tragedy...a dream that has
no end
To face he is now absent from us...a missing father,
soldier, and friend
But although we can not feel his touch or kiss his
smiling face
We will await the moment to be with him in an
everlasting place


Details | Elegy | |

Rest In Peace

Rest In Peace
Not in Fear
I promise
I'll be very near
I'll be right here
Just longing to hear
Your laughter ringing in my ear
I promise you that my dear

Rest In Peace
We will live on
To continue your memory
To right the wrongs
Your voice will carry our song
Through the night, no matter how long

Rest In Peace
As we live out your final wishes
As we sit her at your wake
All for your resting sake
Do we accept your fate
So do not fear your not alone
We are with you in the forgone

Rest In Peace
Is what I say,
As you lay,
I try to say,
Good bye to you dear friend
You were the strongest and best till the End

So I say in
Love, Sorrow, and Pain

Rest In Peace


Details | Elegy | |

A Night In December

A day she wouldn't like to remember
Year 2002, 15th of December,
A day she can't forget.
The party that will be talked about for years,
A night that ended good for everyone
For Blair, her night ended in tears.

That night she tried her first drink
6 shots of vodka later she's puking in the sink,
16 years old, yes I know she's young.
James 22, he didn't he didn't care about age,
Blair's drunk, but with sex he still wanted to engage.

James led her to a room and turned the light down low
He reacted with rage when Blair said "no",
I wish no one else will experience that kind of pain.
Blair's now 17, but James still stalk her dreams,
He's not completely out of her life, little Amanda came from his seed.

Now Blair's 31, Amanda's 13 years old
Only through my words her story can be told,
She never wants to relive that night in December,
A night she can't forget
And never wants to remember.