I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here
I can’t get back in control of my emotions
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy
I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help
Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help
To see her blog, adorned with pastel tones
Widens the gap that pervades my bones
For now we eat her passing meal of plain white rice
Leaving us all alone, without much needed fashion advice
The red light district has lost an inductee
For I would have love to be involved in her naked party
Yet for now we must all be content
With the debauched path she hath went.
Sadness invades a binary world
Where tweeters and bloggers hearts have curled
Bringing back memories of Madonna’s ‘Like A Virgin’
Her fashion advice precise like a mastoplexic surgeon
I remember the fervour when you were followed by Kath Kidston
A similar experience when I had my first Jar of Branston
Yet when you found out the intensity with which I was following you
You wanted to change species and become a Gnu
You learnt to accept my frequent outpourings of love
When you finally spoke to me, I felt as free as a pure white dove
But upon your departure I feel pathetic and hollowed
The best I can hope for is the number of one of the hot bloggers you followed
She was always my muse, my intimate inspiration
No-one can cause such an outpouring of personal perspiration
My heart now yearns to see her type a special tweet
One that would make Mr Sexton act like a dog on heat
Now the world mourns the passing of Lily Fulvio-Mason
I can still see her face reflected in my wash basin
With every heart beat, every full blooded pulse
My sadness streaked blood makes my body convulse
But now it’s time to go, my heart says goodbye
The pain eats my nipples like the Syrphid Fly
I can finally see your body laid in an eternal rest
And now I can now finally uncover your breast.
"Daddy" the way I call my father
The man who loves my mother
The man who gave life to me
And the man who will risks his life to protect his family.
He's not showy about his feelings
But I know he loves us unconditionally
He gets angry when his siblings were hurt
And he makes us laugh the way he dances and tells us jokes
Now..he left us already
His silly jokes,crazy dance moves now were gone
Coz he went to a far away land
In a place where hurt and sorrow has no place in man
I miss my daddy a lot
His crazy dance moves
And his being father to us
I miss everything about him!
I know God has a plan
And I give everything into His merciful hand
Pls.take care ofmy daddy in heaven
Coz someday we'll see him again
And continue the sing and dance with him again...
written 22nd Oct 2013
Even after sixteen years
still I cry your daughters tears
Every year on this day, will always be sad
known only as the date, God took my dad
1st June 1954- 22nd Oct 1997
Allan Thomas Holmes
On the Milky Way a black cloud appeared,
not dark as the night, but as a whole year
of winter nights put together and blended
with stygian thoughts of a suicidal dictator.
Then slowly the cloud began to dissipate,
became whispery as Fidel Castro´s beard.
…And there, on blue silk, a new born star,
unexciting at first but it grew stronger by
the galaxy minute- which last a bit longer
than on earth-, till it one day sparkled with
pride especially around Christmas.
The moment a new star is born an old star
lights up, like northern light, for so to fall
into perpetuity, and I shall not see my old
friend Clive Dunn again.
No more new toys for you
No more bread at breakfast
No more noisy shoes on Christmas
And no more having more
Did i kill dad?
Why then the corporal punishments?
Because dad lost the job
Dad lost the breath
Dad lost the plan
Dad lost you
Dad is no more
Why punish me not the job?
Dad got money from there
Can i go and get it?
Not now but one day you will
What about you?
I will go but i have to first make you know
That i am not Dad because he took off
Now he is sleeping
We have to spend less
Work a lot
Why don't you awake him?
He is dead!
What does that mean?
It means close your eyes
Sleep in a big box
People dig a whole hide you there
And you disappear forever
Wow that sounds fun mum can i join the game?
Its no game, its painful game of loss!
Mum, you cry when i climb trees
When dad wants to go with me you scream
But dad always makes cool choices
You don't understand son,
Your father has played the superman game
The monster broke his neck
And now he is lifeless like your toys
All the people that came here were on your Dad's funeral
Your father is dead
You are now an orphan, son!
Mum, dad is in the game
I know dad he will rise again
Kick the monster, break its neck and throw it in fire
Like what he used to about Jesus
And you will know he is not like my toys
I know son
Right now you cant understand but later you will
I know mum
Right now you cant understand but later you will
In memory of my late father who passed on in 1993 while i was a little boy
by Gilbert Mapengo Mwanguku
Why so soon Pa?
I thought you should have been patient
Without being a patient on the hospital bed
You could have waited for a little while
To see me grow the seeds you bestowed in me
And let them glow to the world all over
But you hurried in a twist of events
Making events twist events of the future
You left our souls torn asunder
As you surrendered to the black thunder under
Whether it meant to be a starter of new life somewhere
None of us knew how to renew your life here
Like a thorn deep in flesh it endlessly pains
They are now calling us cowards
The award of your departure driving us backwards
Misery oozing out from these ruptured veins
You were a hero our pillow
In you we were relieved of our sorrows
We mourn you every morning
So as you eternally rest
Let there be peace in your nest
It was a beautiful day
A day of celebration, a day of thrill
It was the day of my sister’s 18th birthday
The most waited day of a girl to be a lady
and I? I was a girl that time and all I have to do is to
Observe and cooperate
And it was our most anticipated moment
To witness that celebration
and to witness our dear father
as the first dance of my sister
who was missing us for many years
because of separation.
Yet we didn’t know that, that would be the
first and very last day of the year that we’ll see him
His body was so thin
His face looks sickly and heartbreaking
He looks so different
But he remained calm and at ease
Michael Gan the first rose,
He stands and overwhelmingly danced for my sister
They turned and sway
They dance like it was the last
He was overjoyed
Filled with different emotions
Happy, touched, sad, missing us, and regretting
His heart jumped over him
He tries to catch his breath touching his own chest
We hasten him to the nearest sickbay
To salvage his life
His precious life, my father
Battling from death, loses his fight
His eyes wide open, no air
No movements, no smile because...
It was his last dance
written 23rd Oct 1997
So long I needed to visit
but my heart didn't listen
Letting you know how much "I love you so"
is now something, you will never ever know
Now that you are gone
I know I waited to long
If I could just have that one more chance
I would never treat it as just another glance
Now, you have become my biggest memory
for you have gone, to a place I can not see
Knowing that we will never again touch
makes me miss you, so very much
My children are still to young
to wonder why pop hasn't rung
My heart is now empty
for you, it always had plenty
I really do need to have you back
you were the "only one, who saw me back
I know deep down inside
you love me, more than words could describe
For it is only now, that I realise why you didn't want me around
you knew how "painful it would have been, to watch you drown
But, as long as I am still alive
you too, will continue to survive
For I will always be your darling little Denise
who hopes, you forever rest in peace
ALLAN THOMAS HOLMES
1st June 1954- 22nd Oct 1997
written 17th Nov 1997
I am here today to set you free
but inside of me, you shall always be
You will never truly leave
as your love and memories, continue to live on in me
I have come to terms with you leaving
your love I shall forever continue in believing
I will forever miss you very much
for I know it's impossible, to ever again.. kiss or touch
Although you were never rich or royal
your heart remains, eternally loyal
So these are the hardest words for a daughter to have to ever say
I pray you hear these words from my heart today
From your darling little Denise
saying my final good-bye to you, my dearest daddy
Praying, you forever rest in peace
Peace In The Light
I live in a drywall box
Sitting alone staring at my clocks
With landscape art hanging all around me
Its no wonder inspiration has finally found me
One day my mind forced my hand to start writing
About my parents in Heaven still fighting
Knowing their bodies lie beneath the ground
But believing that is not where there to be found
One night I dreamt of a beautiful house
It was on a sunny hill where I saw cats playing cards with a mouse
There was a young woman sitting on a porch rail
She turned to me and asked why I looked so pale
She told me she did not die
She told me I no longer have to cry
Then all of a sudden I awoke
Asking myself... “Was Mom's death some kind of horrible joke”
The Wake…The Funeral…
The Burial Mass…The Grave
Mom's dream message proved to me
She had risen from her Coffin in the Cave
Sometimes I wonder if Mom and Dad are really dead
Or are they living in my head
Can our parents be more alive than we think
Could they be some kind of Supernatural Link
Some say this life is a trial
With certain emotions recorded in our Spiritual File
We all experience wonder, joy, sorrow and pain
Some days… it’s a challenge just to stay sane
I pray our parents watch over us from afar
I swear sometimes… Their sitting in my car
Maybe when we experience life’s emotions
Our Parents are there recording the commotion
I bet Mom sews all day
She probably still has no time to play
I bet Dad writes all day
Will my sons ever find their way
Someday I will tell everyone
That Heaven maybe closer than the Sun
And even though our parents may not be here
When we take our last breath there is nothing to fear
Because what seems like a very dark day
Is really a small price to pay
So the next time you hear a familiar voice in your head
It could be your parents telling you they are not really dead
And I thank… GOD… I no longer have to write
Because my parents have finally found Peace in the Light
And some day when it’s my turn to go home
I will show my parents this poem
Joseph Adam Elward
He was born in December of Twenty- nine that dearest Dad of mine.
One sister and four brothers made up his family.
They never had much growing up you see.
So attending school for Dad was not a priority,
He would work any job a “jack of all trades”
And he loved his sons with his heart all of his days.
Painting on canvas and creating was God’s gift to him.
His creations were shared by many sometimes on a whim.
Liked fishing on a beach on a clear summer day.
Kind and thoughtful in so many ways.
Dad was called to Heaven in May of Twenty-fifteen
Hope he met with family and friends he has not seen.
My heart is heavy there are no words left to say
Hope you are at peace Dad until we meet one day.
So on this day 6 years ago a child was born,
my precious daughter, who deep inside still mourns.
Although she is young she will always be sad,
knowing the one that is not home is her dad.
There's said to always be a special connection between daughter and father,
but this has been taken away by a mother and when it comes to our marriage, won't even bother.
Will she feel blame in the years to come?
That her mother and fathers marriage has come undone.
I can only hope that she dose not harbor anger at her parents,
mom and dad apart adds to the torment.
For my part I never wanted it to be this way for her,
I'm nothing more that a memory to mother and daughter.
So on this day I remember seeing my child's first breath of air,
now all I can see is a girl that mom and dad must share.
On this day life is bittersweet, cause I am no longer part of home,
another day of celebration with me left all alone.